#i cannot do this alone. its not even about having needs met for a month knowing next month i wont | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daemour · 5 months ago

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Pairing: poly! WooSan x gn! Reader

Word Count: 4587

Warnings: cursing, implied sexual activity, arguing

Genre: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship, T for teen

Summary: In a relationship with Wooyoung and San, you feel left out of their activities. One evening, it all blows up.

this is my baby :') (yes i keep saying that about my fics) but i spent a lot of time on this and i think its one of my best works lol,,,,i hope u enjoy! i do have a second, shorter, part with the aftermath if you'd be interested

thank you to @hobeemin for betaing <3

You’re sitting on the couch with two pairs of legs in your lap. To anyone else, it would look like a sweet scene. Your boyfriends cuddling while you watch them fondly. But you’ve never felt so alone before.

You knew you were the addition to the relationship—San and Wooyoung had been dating for a long while before they met you, and it took another few years for them to ask you to join their relationship. After crushing on the two of them for so long, you had leapt at the chance to.

At first, you were just happy to be there—to have them smile at you sweetly, hold your hand, and press you into the sheets so well. But as time passed, it felt like being there was all you had to be happy about.

Sometimes, you wonder if you had just misconstrued the whole thing. Maybe they just wanted a roommate they could fool around with. Or you’re just reading too much into it. It’s only been six months since you were invited into the relationship.

As you’re contemplating your relationship with the two, your boyfriends stand. You only notice because of the weight leaving your body. “Hey, babe, Sannie and I are going to the bedroom, okay?”

“Oh– is there anything I can do too?” The desperation in your voice is evident, and you hate that it is. San’s eyes soften but both he and Wooyoung chuckle. Not meanly, but not kindly.

“Not today. Enjoy the movie.”

They each drop a kiss on the top of your head, and just like that, you watch them slip right through your fingers again.

You do your best to sit there and not feel upset; you try, but the pinch in your heart doesn’t go away. They’ve never been so outwardly…dismissive of you, and you’ve had quite enough of it. After a long five minutes of unhappy thoughts swirling around your head, you stand. You’re not sitting around and letting yourself feel like the second (or third) fiddle.

You blink back the angry tears threatening to fall as you pull on your sweatshirt and search for your phone, only to remember you left it on the bedside table. You’re not about to barge in on and grab it so you settle with your keys. You won’t be out for too long anyway.

As you leave the apartment, you do your best to close the door behind you as quietly as possible. The crisp fall air clears your mind, and you can think properly about your relationship. You just cannot allow yourself to continue to hurt like this. They’re a package deal to you and will come hand-in-hand with you in your life. You may love them, and they may be fond of you, but in the end, you’re just a plus one.

The realisation hits you like a ton of bricks, and you clap a hand over your mouth to muffle the sob that escapes. It hurts you deeply, and you don’t want it to be true. You want to believe they need you just as much as you need them, although you know the thought is futile.

You shudder as you finally let your sobs calm down, and your heart returns to a normal pace. You can’t stay there much longer if you don’t want to lose yourself. As you head back to the apartment, you hurriedly wipe your eyes and clear your throat, unwilling for San and Wooyoung to see the state you’re in.

But that proves unnecessary—when you walk back in, San is sitting on the couch, a new movie is on the screen, and Wooyoung is prepping dinner. A quick glance at the clock tells you that you’ve been gone for about an hour and a half. Your blood boils as you realise they hardly noticed your disappearance, but you force it back to your gut. Blowing up now would be counter-productive.

Your phone is right where you left it, but as you try to escape, San calls out for you, “Oh, YN. Woo and I wanted to ask…” Your breath catches in your throat, hoping for something. “Do you want to join us next time?”

It takes all of your willpower not to laugh. “No, I don’t think I will.” Such a tone of mockery had never left your mouth directed at them before, and you snap your mouth shut before you say something else. San’s eyebrow rises high into his hairline.

You hear Wooyoung chuckle from the kitchen. “That’s fine. We have more fun without you anyway.”

And you know, deep down, he didn’t mean it maliciously. Wooyoung doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. He was just trying to be funny and lighten the mood from the tension he had heard in your voice. But he didn’t know he (and San) was the cause of the stress, and all he does is relight the anger in your gut.

“Oh, so I’ve realised,” you mutter, and this time, San’s other brow raises, and he interrupts.

“What do you mean by that?” He moves to cross his arms, and you scoff.

“I’m sure you know damn well what I mean, Choi San. I get it. You guys have been dating for…longer than you’ve known me. It’s understandable you guys sometimes just want to be together without me.” You pause to take a breath, and San looks just about constipated. “But…I genuinely cannot remember the last time the three of us went on a date or included me in anything other than just sex. And even that, once in a while. What is the point of me being here?”

“Why didn’t you just talk to us?” Wooyoung asks, having moved from the kitchen to stand in the doorway. His brows are furrowed, and he looks so confused that you almost want to forget your argument. But it’s gone too far already, and words won’t stop pouring out of your mouth.

“You would rethink your already comfortable relationship for me? Don’t be silly.” You cut off Wooyoung’s attempted argument. “Maybe you would’ve thought about it, but come on. I’m me. I’ve known you guys for four years; you’ve been dating for seven. I asked to join you guys all the damn time, but all I got was getting brushed off. Forgive me for not having the confidence to confront you two.”

You run your hand through your hair, blinking back your tears. “I can’t imagine this relationship without you guys, but to you two? I’m just an afterthought,” you state, shaking your head.

Before your soft heart gets the better of you and you fall to your knees and take it all back, you turn right back out the door, your phone clutched in your hands this time. Wooyoung and San make no move to go after you, and it hurts more than it should.

You’re not in the mood to walk and wallow, so you sit in the parking garage, ordering a taxi. As you wait for your ride, you hear footsteps thundering up to you, and you know what’s coming.

“Are you actually leaving?” San’s voice comes from behind you, a tightness to it you haven’t heard before.

You keep your eyes forward and nod. “Yes. I need some time to myself. I…I won’t leave forever, at least not for now. I don’t want to give us up, but I need time to rest my heart. And you guys need time to process, I’m sure.”

The taxi you called is pulling up now, and you stand. After hesitating, you turn around and wrap your arms around San’s waist. There’s no wait on his side; his warm and strong arms come around your shoulders to squeeze you gently. Your eyes are shut tightly, knowing that if you open them, you’ll want to go right back up to the apartment.

“Tell Wooyoung I said ‘sorry’,” you manage to choke out, and you can practically hear San’s melancholic smile.

“You have nothing to apologise for, but I will if it makes you feel better. The only reason he didn’t come down is because he didn’t want to overwhelm you.” San sighs, running a hand through his hair. “For whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry we’ve made you feel so alone. It was never our intention, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that it happened.”

You sometimes wish San wasn’t so sweet and lovely and perfect. And you sure wish Wooyoung didn’t feel as strongly as he did. If they cared less, it would’ve made your hurt and betrayal less sharp in your chest. But you don’t want them to be guilty, and you don’t want Wooyoung to cry.

“I…won’t be gone for long,” is all you have left to say to San before you cram yourself into the taxi, and will your tears to not fall until you get into the safety of your apartment that doesn’t even feel like home.

As soon as you reach your apartment, you collapse to your knees and cry. With every sob, your chest heaves and your throat aches. But you’re finally able to let out all your hurt, and after an hour or so, you feel as refreshed as you can be. You hope it will work out in the end for your sake and theirs.

—

You sink into the familiar comfort of your couch, a sigh escaping your lips as the silence of your apartment envelops you. It's been two weeks since the tearful confrontation with San and Wooyoung, two weeks since you've allowed yourself to feel the full weight of your emotions. The initial relief of expressing your pent-up frustrations has given way to a dull ache of longing and uncertainty.

Days turn into nights, and the silence stretches, punctuated only by the occasional text message from San and Wooyoung, their words a mix of apologies, reassurance, and pleas for you to come back. You read and reread their messages, your heart torn between the desire to run back into their arms and the fear of being hurt again.

Yeosang, your closest friend, becomes your lifeline during this time, his presence a comforting anchor amidst the storm of your emotions. He listens patiently as you pour out your doubts and fears, offering his unwavering support and gentle guidance. "They miss you, you know," he often reminds you softly, his eyes reflecting a deep understanding of your inner turmoil.

"I miss them too," you admit, your voice barely a whisper. "But what if it's not enough? What if we can't bridge the gap that's grown between us?"

Yeosang squeezes your hand reassuringly. "You won't know until you try. They're willing to work on things, YN. Don't let your fear rob you of a chance at happiness."

His words echo in your mind, a constant reminder that you can't stay hidden forever. You need to confront your fears, to have that difficult conversation, and to decide whether the love you share is strong enough to overcome the challenges you face.

As the days pass, you find yourself slowly emerging from the cocoon of your self-imposed isolation. You start venturing out, meeting friends for coffee, taking walks in the park, trying to rediscover a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos of your emotions.

But the longing for San and Wooyoung never truly fades. It lingers in the quiet moments, in the empty spaces beside you on the couch, in the memories that flood your mind when you least expect them.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you call Yeosang, asking him to meet up with you for coffee so that you can figure out how to approach your relationship with San and Wooyoung. He agrees readily, and promises to set aside some time at lunch tomorrow to hear you out.

“You miss them, too.” You blink at Yeosang’s statement, before heaving a sigh and taking a sip of your drink. As usual, he doesn’t waste time with small talk and just starts with the point of the meet-up. “You’re putting off this discussion for far too long, YN.”

And he’s right, as he usually is. It’s been about two weeks since the breakdown, and you’ve managed to avoid most attempts at reaching you, placating them with a ‘soon’ whenever they text you to ask. But you’re a little too scared to reopen the conversation. What if they hate you and don’t want you anymore?

“They don’t hate you,” Yeosang interrupts your spiralling with an all-knowing look. You swear he can read your mind, and he swears you’re just easy to read. “You both just need to have a long conversation. Of course, it may not work out properly, but if not, they need to know it for future reference.”

You bite your lip, sighing like the weight of the world rests upon your shoulders. “Stop being so smart, okay? I know I should. I’m just…I don’t know how to start.”

Yeosang raises an eyebrow. “First, you should set up a date to talk. I recommend calling them.” He easily dodges your slap. “Seriously, YN. I can’t tell you what to say. Just go talk to them properly. They’re not gonna be unreasonable. They like you.”

If you sighed anymore, Yeosang would probably smack you himself. “Fine. I’ll call them tomorrow.” Yeosang narrows his eyes, and you know he’s seen right through your lie.

“Call them now. I won’t bother you or be loud.”

You start to whine, but Yeosang fixes you with such a glare that you pull out your phone begrudgingly. Your hands tremble as you dial Wooyoung's number, knowing San would probably be at work right now. The phone rings once, twice, and your heart squeezes in hope and disappointment that he hasn’t picked up yet.

You’re just about to hang up when the phone picks up, and Wooyoung’s breathy voice crackles over the receiver. “Hello? YN?” He sounds like he just ran a marathon, and you can’t help but smile. The sound of his voice on the other end of the line sends a wave of warmth through you, a bittersweet reminder of the love you've been missing.

“Hey, Wooyoung. Sorry for never getting back to you guys.” You can already feel the awkwardness and tension through the phone call. “Uh…when are you guys free to talk?”

You can hear the eagerness in Wooyoung’s voice as he responds almost immediately. “Don’t apologise, YN, okay? San and I are free tonight after five. Would you like to come round to have dinner? I’m making spicy pork belly soup. If not, tomorrow evening also works at the same time. If you need more time.”

He’s one word away from practically begging on his knees, and you feel your heartstrings tug. “Yeah, tonight works if that’s okay. Is six-thirty okay?”

“Yes!” Wooyoung has no hesitation when he answers you. “Just come up whenever—you know the door code.”

“Okay, thank you again,” you say, seconds from hanging up when his voice cuts through the phone.

“YN. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. And I’ll see you tonight.”

He ends the call before you can say anything else, and you’re left staring at the phone longingly. Yeosang’s chuckle brings you out of your thoughts. “Told you they don’t hate you,” he hums, a small smile on his lips, and you roll your eyes at him even though your heart warms.

“Should I bring a gift? Like wine or something? I don’t know…they’re feeding me. And it could be a peace offering.”

Yeosang laughs again, amused by your dilemma. “If you want to, it could be a nice gesture. But really, I think they just want to see you again.” He reaches over to you to squeeze your hand. “You guys will be just fine, okay?”

You nod, offering him your own crooked smile. “Thanks for sitting and talking, Sang. I appreciate it.” Your eyes dart to the side. “I should probably go see if I can find a proper bottle of wine, though.”

The bottle of wine in your hands is clutched so tightly you fear it may shatter in your sweaty grasp. You’re almost too scared to knock, but your longing to see your boyfriends (were they still your boyfriends?) overrides your fear, and you tap on the door lightly. It might be presumptuous to just walk in, even though Wooyoung told you they didn’t change the door code. You’ve done it many times before, but these circumstances are different.

Before you can chicken out and call it off, the door swings open, and San stands before you, his hair messy like it always ends when he tries to style it without help. Your fingers twitch as you keep yourself from reaching up to smooth it over. “...Hi,” you greet him instead, eyes flitting down to your hands. “I brought wine.”

“Thanks. Come on in. Wooyoung’s finishing up now.”

He steps aside, and you pass him, trying not to flinch as his comforting scent fills your brain. Oh, how you missed him and Wooyoung. The apartment is unchanged, and a picture of the three of you is still hung on the wall. “I hope you’ve been well?”

“Yea. I’ve been keeping busy.” San closes the door behind you, running a hand through his messy hair, which only serves to worsen it. “How about you?”

You shrug as casually as you can. “I’m doing well. Just been working…” There’s a long pause where neither of you knows what to do. “Do you need help with anything? Where do you want me to put the wine?”

San shrugs. “There’s not much to do. The table has already been set. Do you want to wash up or anything? I can pour the wine.”

You nod, handing over the bottle, being careful to avoid San’s touch before excusing yourself to the bathroom. You can practically hear the disappointed sigh leaving San’s mouth and you feel a sharp stab in your heart at how upset he seems to be but you remind yourself this is important. As Yeosang said, they have to be aware of what issues you’re having.

You glance at your weary face in the mirror, wiping at some smudged makeup and fixing your hair, taking any moment you can get to calm yourself down. When you can hear low murmurs in the kitchen of San and Wooyoung talking you know it’s about time for you to get out of the bathroom.

When you turn the corner into the kitchen, Wooyoung greets you with a tentative smile and a wake of his spatula. “Hey, YN. Hope you’re doing well. Are…are you hungry? It’s almost done.” Wooyoung speaks carefully like he’s triple-checking the words he wants to say before they come out of his mouth.

“Of course,” you laugh awkwardly. “Your food is always good. I hope you’re doing well too.”

It’s almost painful how tense the atmosphere is, and both you and Wooyoung cast a glance at San as if pleading silently for him to resolve it for you two. Before any of you guys can speak, the rice cooker beeps, slicing the thick stress in half and all three of you laugh. “Let’s eat,” San cheers, his eyes crinkling in the smile you missed.

The three of you move towards the seats, where three glasses of wine sit and side dishes are scattered around. Wooyoung holds the stew in his hands, setting it down in the middle of the table as you and San take your seats.

The dinner is mostly silent, aside from a couple of hums in delight at the taste of Wooyoung’s cooking. As much as you would deny it, you missed this. You missed being near them, being able to share the same space with them. As the three of you eat, you sneak glances at both San and Wooyoung. Aside from the tousled hair, San seems pretty put-together, with an easygoing smile on his face and dimples still prominent. But the dullness in his eyes is clear and he smiles and giggles way less than usual. Wooyoung’s face is lined with worry, hints of stubble peeking out, and you’re embarrassed to admit you find it attractive. His hands fiddle with his silverware as he eats, and the guilt returns to eat at your stomach.

“So…” you try and break the silence carefully, and both men’s eyes quickly focus on you. “...my brother’s boyfriend adopted a cat secretly and Hongjoong is livid, but I caught him cuddling with the cat just two days ago.”

San chuckles. “Sounds about right. Seonghwa definitely seems the type to. What, did he find the cat on the side of the road and ‘just couldn’t let it starve out there’?” You snort at San’s imitation of your brother.

“Almost spot on. It’s like Seonghwa is sitting right here, really.”

And with that, the conversation continues almost completely normally, like nothing had happened two weeks prior. Wooyoung prods at San’s cooking like always and you defend San but can’t help but throw in a jab of your own, one that San reaches over and pushes gently at your shoulder for.

At the touch, you freeze and Wooyoung’s eyes dart between the two of you. A long moment passes until you finally laugh stiffly and push him back. “What can I say? It’s true.”

Wooyoung smiles at the both of you, the corner of his lips crooked. “Good to see you take his side as always when it comes to cooking,” he teases. “Maybe I’ll make him cook next time.”

Next time. Your breath catches at those words and both San and Wooyoung take note of your hopeful reaction. “I’ll hold you to that.”

After dinner, all of you shuffle into the living room slowly, knowing exactly what must come. None of you want to start the conversation, but it must happen. You sit first, hands wringing in your lap. San and Wooyoung sit right next to each other, but not far from you.

“We could draw straws?” Wooyoung speaks up, his hands gripping the couch beside him. “To see who goes first.”

You don’t quite know how to react, but unlike the last time Wooyoung tried to be silly, you understand it isn’t coming from a place of malice. “I think that’s a great idea, Wooyoung,” both you and San agree, and although Wooyoung’s body tenses a tad more, his eyes soften.

“Thanks.”

With shaking hands, you hold out the straws Wooyoung had given you. Both San and Wooyoung draw, keeping their pick hidden until you pick yours. Long. San uncurls his hand and reveals his. Long.

Your gaze shifts to Wooyoung who looks just about ready to throw up at the prospect of going first. “Of course it’s me,” he laughs soullessly. “I suggested it, so I end up being first.”

“If you’re not comfortable–”

Wooyoung stops San with a quick squeeze of his hand. “No, it’s okay. I have a lot to say.” Without further ado, he turns to face you, his eyes pleading and his brows furrowed. “YN, I’m sorry. I was inconsiderate of you in the relationship, and although I meant no harm, I hurt you when I commented on ‘having more fun without you’. Although I tried to keep tension low, it only served to hurt you and I apologise for that. I should’ve been more attentive to you and considered how you may have felt when San and I went off to do our own thing without you.”

You feel a wave of relief wash over you, your heart warming at his heartfelt apology. “I really appreciate that, Wooyoung,” you hum. “I missed you a lot, and after a couple days of cooling down, I realised you meant no harm, and I could’ve told you how I felt about that with more maturity. I…I hope you don’t mind if I go next.”

San waves his hand, gesturing for you to go on. “Of course,” he agrees readily, squeezing Wooyoung’s hand gently.

“I’m sure my…complaints…about our dynamic were pretty clear. I felt left out, excluded, and separated from the two of you. And what I was feeling was valid, but my reaction wasn’t. I am sorry about how I went about talking to you guys. I assumed you wouldn’t care, and so I kept it to myself and let it boil over. And just running out on you guys was unfair of me. I didn’t explain, nor give you guys a chance to explain.”

San nods empathetically. “I was indeed hurt by your immediate assumption that we wouldn’t care. I thought it was clear we care about you—I mean, we did watch that show together and we asked if you wanted to join us next time. If you were really feeling hurt, I do wish you brought it up sooner.”

You sigh, looking down at your twisting hands, bringing one of them up to your mouth to chew lightly on the nail. “Like I said way back, I was insecure about the two of you changing your relationship dynamic just because I wanted it. Maybe it was stupid, I don’t know, but the hurt I felt wasn’t stupid. Sure, we watched the show, and sure, you asked me if I wanted to join next time. But that was it! I was an afterthought. You dismissed me when I said I wanted to join, and yet you asked me why I didn’t bring it up before?”

Before you can sink your teeth any further into your nail, Wooyoung leans forward, gently pulling your hand away from your mouth and bringing it to his lap. “Don’t bite your nails, YN. I’m sure San didn’t mean to be dismissive,” he pleads, elbowing San lightly in the ribs, who winces and nods sincerely. “I’m sure you understand, we were just hurt you didn’t trust us enough, although your reasons are understandable. We want to make things right, though, and we want you to be comfortable to talk to us about your insecurities and worries.”

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to be so defensive,” San concedes. “I got too caught up in wanting everyone to get along, I got ahead of myself. I pride myself on being the calm one, but I was too passive and that quickly turned into self-righteousness.” His hand moves to rest atop yours and Wooyoung’s, his thumb gently rubbing circles into the soft skin.

“We still want you with us, YN,” Wooyoung cuts in, “and we want to change for you. We talked about this when you were gone, and we’ll respect your decision to leave if you so wish, but we really would like to try and work this through.”

You pause for a moment. You could walk away right now, minimizing any potential hurt that could follow. But as your eyes land on your conjoined hands, any minute wish to leave is immediately squashed and you smile up at the two of them. “I want to stay too.”

San matches your smile and Wooyoung’s grip on your hand tightens almost imperceptibly. Before anything else happens, he pulls you forward, wrapping his other arm around your shoulders as he engulfs you in a warm hug. Without hesitation, San quickly joins, pressing a kiss to the top of both your and Wooyoung’s head.

As they murmur promises of how they can include you more, as well as soft ‘I love you’s in your ear, you can’t help but relax at their showcase of love. Things will turn out all right.

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secriden · 3 months ago

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i've been thinking and thinking about the significance of the sunflowers parapai sends sky after their first face-to-face meeting post-one night stand and it suddenly hit me why it made such an impact on sky.

prior to this point, sky's attracted to prapai, no question about it. the physical attraction is there pretty much as soon as they lay eyes on each other. even at their one night stand, regardless of the reasons why (tbh my read was that sky wanted it in the moment to feel like he had a way to wrest control over (a) his own body and (b) the situation), sky at least physically seemed to enjoy himself. but its the lack of emotional connection, after the endorphin rush is over, that makes him feel like crap, makes him second-guess his worth and leave feeling used and hallow (and boy oh boy does peat manage to show that so well - he's so so good at wounded).

but then prapai comes back 3 months later, teasing and playful and flirty and still so attractive. sky recognises his own attraction (his self-talky bits are cute but they break my heart), but the one night stand was good enough physically for him to know he doesn't want just that. he doesn't just want to just feel physically good. and he's stuck in the thought that he can never have anything more.

when prapai tells him he's going to pursue him in sky's dorm lobby, he's startled but not shaken. he goes up to his room, essentially tells himself to get out of fantasy land, peeks out the window - but he still fundamentally doesn't engage with the idea that there could be anything real between them.

but the sunflowers and "remember that this wind's watching over the sky". it's protection; its safety.

sky's visibly shaken (peat, oh peat, the vulnerability you managed to convey) and i think this is probably the first time prapai actually manages to get a little bit past the wall sky's already put up between them. and prapai's such a flirty idiot i 100% think he didn't have a clue what he was saying, really. he just thought he was being clever with the unusual flower choice and playing with their names, but in a way that's what makes prapai so perfect for sky.

he's... well, guileless. he's almost accidentally exactly what sky needs to even consider falling in love after everything that happened to him. there's something very clumsy about the charm prapai has and i suspect it's because he's never really had to work to charm anyone before - his looks, money, and status do most of the heavy lifting for him. the fact that he isn't an absolute jerk is pretty much enough for most to be pulled into his orbit. but this works so well for sky because i think someone more suave and actually adapt at wordplay/flirting would have made him run for the hills, because it would have come across as manipulation given his trauma. but prapai is so bad at it (prapai: 'if you don't try it, how do you know?' sky: you absolute fucking idiot did you forget how we met?) that it actually sounds genuine. it makes it safe.

fuck, safety. i feel like it's something everyone wants on some level, but when you've gone through something like that... something where you're betrayed on such a fundamental level by someone you trust, safety becomes the core of what you need. i can deal with hunger, with pain, with loneliness, with being overworked, with being called names or scolded by others - as long as i can maintain that safety. and for sky, that safety always came when he was in his own hands. the only one he could trust with his safety was himself (even as a child, he had no one; alone in Bangkok with a mother who left and a father who cared but was too far away). its why sky isolates; why he'll help his classmates but never ask for help; why he takes the bullying som dishes out without a word.

then prapai comes in and takes care of him when he's sick. his safety is outside of his hands - terrifying. but... also such a relief. i cannot stress how much this was exactly what sky needed. if rain had taken care of him, he would've kicked rain out the second he became conscious. rain doesn't have the backbone/will/character to force the issue. but what prapai did was prioritise sky's safety (health) and for the first time in years, it didn't have to be in his own hands...

(prapai then goes on to makes a lot of other accidentally good choices - comes to Last Cheer and gives him medicine, a place to rest his head, and a quiet space so he can do what he wants (stay to the end, not worry his friends). care, offered at sky's terms. even the bits where prapai's a visibly horny idiot, nearly edging past sky's boundaries but not is counterintuitively perfect because sky sees that prapai's going against what he wants to make sure sky's expressed boundaries are honoured and sees how it costs him something - but, also, i think that speaks more to (a) prapai's growth as a character now that he has a focus that goes beyond the instant gratification of physical release and (b) mame knows her characters and prapai is built to be perfect for sky. honestly most of the skill in writing prapai was the change was gradual enough to be believable in the context of this world. but i digress.)

i just... really adore what prapai did for sky here. like, utter relief that comes from having someone take care of you when you've had to take care of yourself for so long. like a heavy burden suddenly rolling off. and the sunflowers are cheesy but they're the first real hint that this is what's going to make prapai succeed with sky. its not (just) that he's attractive and persistent - that wouldn't have been enough ultimately. (for eg. had phayu pursued sky, he would've also been attractive and persistent but boy would sky have run for the hills with that kind of pursuit. phayu's hot but the manipulation in how he got rain... sometimes i'm baffled by this fandom's take on phayu vs prapai because it's always prapai that everyone calls shady/problematic when he's actually very transparent and honest with his intensions with sky vs the mind games phayu played with rain. i don't have an issue with it because of how rain's character's written - he needed a phayu to get past his internal hang ups - but still, baffling.)

but its how he continually offered to take on the burden of care from sky. so sky could finally actually address the other things he needed. sky didn't have the (physical OR emotional) bandwidth to even consider a relationship until prapai because no one was taking those things off his plate (feeding him, making sure he rests, making sure he took care of himself. like - even when prapai just reminds sky to take care of himself, that's taking some of that mental load off sky having to remember for himself).

honestly this is why when in the scene when sky opens the door to prapai when he's half asleep and then lets prapai feed him, and lets him put him to bed, undress and dress him (all things that would have triggered sky to hell before) - I actually believe it. i believe that sky feels safe around prapai because he's done nothing but actively, persistently offer that to sky over and over again by this point.

anyway, yes, i just really love the sunflower scene for how it gives us that first real glimpse as to why prapai really was perfect for sky.

#prapaisky #prapai #sky #love in the air #lita #love in the air the series #love in the air meta #i have a lot of feels about sky and prapai's brand of wooing #i know i'm 3 years late to this train but someone please talk to me about them #i love them so much and i wish we could've had more #also why does everyone hate mame so much i'm so confused #but lita is also the first bl i've ever seen so someone pls enlighten me #also i've only watched love sea after that so... i've watched 2 fortpeat shows and i'm already /undone/ TwT #rambles about shows i'm watching #<my posts>

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writingforsimps · 1 year ago

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Midnight Fang - Poly BTS x Reader (Chapter 0.5)

Summary: The werewolves thought they found all their mates. They never imaged they’d met another, let alone that she’d be a vampire.

Warning: Blood, Alcohol, Mate Au Supernatural AU, Poly Au, Unrequited Love, Rejection, angst (Specific Warnings not mentioned will be made in each chapter this is just a small none specific overview)

[Series Masterlist] -> [Prev] - [Next]

Hungry…

You liked the forest. Trees make only 28% of the oxygen you breathed when you were alive, but the plants and flowers gave a certain life the ocean just couldn’t. The bunny nibbling on bitter lettuce was proof of just how much life these plants brought with them.

The food chain, without those plants a bunny couldn’t eat, and without the bunny a fox couldn’t and so on till the biggest predator dies.

You’ve liked the forest since you were human. Your friend use to call you a forest hippy, going on hikes with you once in a while. The two of you didn’t have the slightest clue anything about nature. All you knew was you loved it, and she tagged along because of that reason. It just felt right. The sun in your face and the dirt in your nails.

Hungry…

Now the sun of your face burns hot even in cold weather and the dirt in your nails feels too odd, to new. The feeling lost to the habit and need to keep your hands clean. So you sit, with muddy white cloth gloves on, a white lacy sun dress that was covered in mud and tears, and torn shoes tied by their laces together on your wrist in a mock, heavy bracelet.

White, light, flow-y, breathable.

Stained, dirtied, cold, exposed.

You were cold, dirtied and your legs were exposed to the elements. The pristine angelic color assigned to you long ruined by the brown mud and dirt. Your dignity falling low, but never low enough to hide behind a trash can. What if a human found you? No, instead you’d die in the woods.

Hungry…

When was the last time you’ve eaten? Three weeks… A person can bleed to death in just five minutes. You knew that. Vampires feed on people’s blood because they cannot supply their own. So while the blood running through your veins and in your cheeks aren’t your own, you try and preserve it. Try not to run out of it.

A person can bleed out in just five minutes, but it took two months to die without food. For you, it’s like a small mixture of the two. Blood leaving your body, you were burning it like it was the energy food was to humans.

You sweat, panting heavily and leaning against a tree. The confusion and anxiety getting to you as you felt your more important organs finally start to shut down.

You knew you wouldn’t survive without a Nest… but that didn’t make it less painful to die.

No.

You couldn’t die. Not with your life like this. Not when you gave up so much to live in the first place. So, in a finally last ditch effort to live.

You screamed.

Jimin heard the screech before any of the his mate did. His ears just worked better then there’s, it was a curse. A curse he thanked every full moon for because that’s how he met his mates. The scream was primal, life or death. Jimin’s head immediately flung in the direction and it was like his body moved on its own when he started running.

Namjoon ran after him, tripping over his own paws at the suddenness of the boys new behavior. He just… took off! It was seconds later he heard the scream as well. A second wave before the quiet. But… why did the quiet make his heart squeeze more then the screams did?

They both raced to the voice. It was odd, usually when you hear screaming you run away but it was like their instincts took over.

_______________

Hi! So I made this chapter as chapter 1! Then I realized I didn’t want it to be chapter one (reasons). And I also couldn’ add it to the prologue! So I’m making it chapter 0.5! Or a teased kind of thing. It’s cannon to the storyline placed in the middle of chapter 1 and the prologue…. Do with that what you will!

It’s really short because it’s half a chapter, real chapters will be longer. dw

#bts x reader #bts x fem!reader #bts x you #hoseok #jimin #junkook #namjoon #poly bts x reader #taehyung #werewolf! bts #supernatural au #vampire reader #vampire #mates #fated mates #short #teaser?#poly bts #bts fanfic

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lovely-peace · 5 months ago

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Somebody that i used to know

Summary: You were cursed. By a goddess of the loveliest thing of all. And cruelty. You just couldn't stop loving him. Even now. When he is just somebody you used to know.

Pairing: Luke castellan x Apollo child! Reader

Warnings: Angst no comfort, guilt, mentioned poison, mentioned death, contains spoilers for the series, English is not my first language(tell me if there is more)

I worked on this for like a month and I am still not very proud. But if you like this tell me, I am working on the second part (this is unfinished) but it already has 7,1k words.

'Sing muse', he says, 'sing for me'. His sadness is unfounded. He has never felt sorry for anyone, how could he? He only thinks of himself. Just like all the gods.

'Why this time? The muse kalliope asks him.

His eyes darken.

'It's none of your business,' he says. Of course it's not. He just wants her to sing. 'What about?' She asks him again.

He lowers his eyes. 'About a father, he says, who lost his daughter. To the greatest evil of all.

About the father, of course, not about the daughter. The muse suppresses a sigh. 'Lost to what?

'To somebody damned.' His gaze sweeps the hyacinths. 'To love.'

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My final arrow remains untouched in my grasp, a stark contrast to the crimson stains that mar the others. The weight of it feels heavy, a burden I am not sure I can bear any longer.

"So?"

The mocking tone of the divine voice pierces through me, emanating from the woman before me. Her beauty is a facade, masking the darkness that resides within her very being.

I yearn to use the arrow, to pierce through the emptiness where her heart should reside. Or just use him on myself. To let my own heart bleed out until there is nothing left.

"It's all over now," she declares with a smile that sends shivers down my spine. I never shared the hatred of you. But I understood it. And now I think I could even share it.

"What will you do next?" My voice is hoarse, a mere whisper of its former self, tainted by her presence.

"Do not fret," she chuckles, her eyes filled with a haughty arrogance only a deity could possess.

"I will leave you alone with your suffering. Don't blame me. Curse your father cause he ever had you. Blame him for all your sorrow, that he never tried to take from you. I act only to protect my own honor."

I clench the arrow tightly, prepared to end it all. To descend into the darkness with you. Yet, I cannot. I still have siblings to care for, a family that still needs me.

If I give up now, all of this will be lost. I cannot let her win, cannot let her render your sacrifice meaningless.

"Who is he to you now, after all the pain he has caused?" Her smirk is a cruel reminder of the countless others she has broken.

And she waits. Waits for me to say the words she had heard thousands of times before.

Now and then I think of when we were together

I remember how I got to know you. I was sitting with Chiron when the message arrived. A very special girl is out there fighting. A girl from the big three. A girl who wasn't allowed to exist.

"Chiron, chiron!!!" screamed a satyr rushing into the main house and gasping. His hair disheveled and out of breath, he stood there. "The border, the girl is fighting - Zeus!"

Chiron stood up and put our cards away. Unlucky. For the first time I was winning. "Calm down. What's going on?"

"Monsters are at the border! A whole wave of them! A girl is fighting down there. Probably one of the older three." Chiron turned pale.

"Go back to your cabin right now. Now!" he ordered me and galloped off. I should have obeyed, but I was curious and wanted to help. So I ran after him.

Don't take it personally, but when we first met, I only had eyes for the girl down the hill.

The monster wave that she was somehow holding up alone.

Her wild eyes and the way she looked back. Chiron wanted to help her but it was already too late. The monster took a swing and the life in her eyes wanted to escape.

The whole sky lit up and lightning flashed downwards. My first thought was that Zeus would save her.

Her father will safe her surely?

How naive. The great godfather is probably thinking how noble he was.

I, on the other hand, remember exactly how her eyes and legs froze. How her arms twitched and went up. How slowly her shoes became roots. How her legs turned into wood. How this transformation slowly moved upwards. How she screamed. But she didn't look back at us. No, she looked up and screamed.

That screams were terrifying. Death screams.

That's when it became clear to me. How our parents played with us.

That they called something like that mercy.

It must have been much worse for you. The way Annabeth cried and thrashed around while you had to watch her suffer. I often wondered if Thalia was still conscious. Whether she was still suffering.

Well, until she woke up again. Because of you.

I stared at this girl while her screams tore the air.

"Chiron, what's happening? Why isn't he helping her?" I burst into tears and held on to the centaur's front legs. "Why is he hurting her?"

"THALIA!!!" screamed the boy holding the little blonde girl. She was also screaming and trying to free herself from his grip. He covered her ears, but she only cried worse.

"You're supposed to protect us! Help her already!" The boy shouted at Chiron while he shook his head regretfully. Thalia looked up into the sky and cried out one last time. The silence that followed was almost worse.

"It's too late, my boy. This is the best way her father could have helped her." Slowly, Chiron walked towards the two of them.

"Are you kidding me?" the boy's eyes flashed as the girl in his arms tried to wriggle out of his grip, weaker and weaker. "That should have helped her? He could have just smashed the monsters with lightning if he's so all-powerful!"

Chiron's eyes were so full of compassion that it sent a cold shiver down my spine. I wonder how many times he had heard those words.

"I'm sorry." Chiron went to his knees with his front hooves and looked at the two of them with a gentle gaze. "The best thing we can do is-"

"Thalia! Thalia!" the blonde girl screamed and her tears ran. "Thalia!"

"Annabeth..." the boy let go of the little girl, whose name was apparently Annabeth. Without any strength, she sank to the ground in front of the centaur. "Turn her back! Please..." she whimpered.

Chiron's eyes became incredibly soft. "I'm afraid I can't do that," he finally said. "And even if I could, she would only die. Like this she's still with us. We should honor her, not mourn her."

Annabeth cried harder and ran back to the boy. And even though I didn't know the girl, I was angry at Zeus for turning his daughter into a tree. He could have helped her. Why didn't he do it?

If he had, this girl, who was far too young, would no longer be crying.

I still remember exactly how I was supposed to show you both around. How ridiculous that seemed to me after what you had just been through. Your eyes were full of despair as you looked around. When I led you to Cabin 11.

This worn-out cabin where we were all supposed to rot until our parents took pity on us. I had been in there for a whole year before you came. Did you ever know that?

Chiron turned to me. He helped me to calm down and looked at me sternly. "Didn't I tell you to go to your cabin? Stubborn girl." he said, smiling gently. "Would you show these two around, please? Cabin 11 as usual."

"Chiron, I can't do that now." I couldn't look him in the eyes. The tears had stopped but my head throbbed.

"You have to be strong for them now," he interrupted me in a whisper. "Right now we have to welcome them with open arms. Show them that they are safe here now."

With that, he galloped off and left us alone. The boy eyed me suspiciously while the girl was still sitting on the ground.

"Hey..." I began as I walked over to them. "I should show you around, is that okay?"

The boy didn't answer and just looked at the little girl. Annabeth turned to me. Without saying anything, she stood up and nodded. Strong girl.

"Then follow me." I looked at the boy expectantly, but he made no move. Finally, the girl spoke up. "Come on Luke," her voice trembled slightly. "Grover said we were safe here and Thalia fought for us to be here. So come on."

At these words, the boy walked over to us. We walked around slowly. Past the main building and then finally to the cabins.

"These are the twelve cabins. Each cabin represents which god is your parent. Since we don't know that for you yet, you'll go to the 11th cabin first. That's Hermes cabin."

"But we know who Luke's is...," Annabeth began, but the boy named Luke interrupted her. "Why do we have to sleep in this cabin? Why is it so crowded?"

This question put me on the spot. I hated to admit what our parents were really like. I'd been here for a year and a half and still... "Well, the gods must claim their children so that we can divide them up into their cabins."

Luke's gaze turned cold. "And all these children weren't claimed? That's why they have to squeeze in here when there are so many free cabins?" I nodded.

"Who's your parent?" Annabeth asked me. I looked away again, embarrassed. "I haven't been claimed yet either."

Luke shook his head slowly. He stared at the symbol of hermes. "Gods only want to feel great about themselves."

I led the two of them into the cabin and showed them where they could sleep. Annabeth took a seat near Luke and remained silent. I just couldn't believe that she had to watch all this. It was too awful.

"What's your name?" Luke's voice surprised me. For the first time, he looked at me. I told him my name. We were silent for a while. But I told them about the days here and about the campfire.

Luke just nodded and layed down on his sleeping bag. Annabeth looked at him almost desperately. But she stayed with him.

"Hey, do you want me to show you the training grounds?" I asked her to take her mind off things.

She looked over at luke in silence. He turned to the other side. "Go on, Annabeth. I'm exhausted, but you don't have to stay with me."

She looked at him for a long time but then stood up. "Okay, show me." she finally said and I had to smile.

"Just follow me." We walked out of the cabin, but at the cabin door I checked on luke again. He was staring at the staff of hermes on the top of the wall.

Finally, I turned around and showed Annabeth the training places. "Here, for example," I began. "Can we find you a special weapon against the monsters."

She shook her head. "Not necessary." She took out a dagger. "I already have this one."

At first glance, the dagger looked normal, but on closer inspection I saw that it was made of heavenly bronze.

"Where did you get it?" I looked at her in surprise. She was very young, why did she already have such a weapon? She looked away, embarrassed. "Luke gave it to me."

I preferred not to think about the fact that Luke had given a little girl a knife to defend herself with. I'd rather just show her the other places.

It was getting late and we went back to the cabin to join the others for dinner. When we arrived, luke was still lying just as rigid as before. Cabin 11 lined up, but Luke stayed put.

"Luke, we're having dinner." I sat down next to him. He was still looking up. Stubbornly. "I'm not hungry."

"You have to eat something." "I'll eat later." "But we always eat together." "Then we'll just make an exception." "It's not that easy. You'll get into trouble." "But I'm not hungry."

I had to sigh. Did I say stubborn? It was much worse. It was like I was talking to a wall.

He was still looking up. His posture was stiff and he didn't look like he had slept. I looked outside and watched the others who had already gone ahead. Outside, the trees were rustling and the sun was shining. As if the lord of heaven wasn't mourning his daughter. As if she had never existed.

"Luke," I began, my voice surprisingly bitter. "I understand that this is hard for you. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, of course, but we're all half-bloods. All sent here by the gods and abandoned by them. That's why we stick together. We are a family. We help each other. Annabeth seems to like it here. At least come for her today. You don't have to eat much, just a little, please."

Silence. I looked at him and realized that he had sat up, turned and was already looking at me. Suddenly he was very close.

"You like to talk, don't you?" he said and shame flooded through me. I quickly looked away and kicked myself in my head.

What was I thinking preaching to this boy after he had lost his friend? I was Terrible.

"Sorry..." I mumbled and felt myself blushing out of embarrassment, I got up and went to the door to escape this horrible moment.

"Hey, wait!" he shouted as I was about to leave. "Don't run away. I didn't mean it that way. You still have to show me the way to your dining room or whatever."

When I dared to look at him again, he smiled. And it was so beautiful. "Oh."

He laughed at this very imaginative answer and I had to smile. Eventually we went to dinner together.

The others were already eating when we joined them. Of course, our table was the most crowded. Annabeth looked very lost as she sat there uncomfortably. Of course, Luke sat across from her and smiled at her. Her shoulders relaxed immediately. I sat down next to her and she nodded at me.

"Just say what you want to drink, the cup will fill itself. And oh, leave some over so you can throw it in the fire." Luke looked at me questioningly. I shrugged my shoulders. "Offerings for the gods. They like the smell."

Most people would have laughed now. The smell? But Luke didn't laugh. No, his eyes narrowed and his hands clenched around his cup. "Of course." he said, his voice bitter again. "They want offerings."

The awkward silence between us after that was oppressive. Annabeth looked up cautiously at Luke and then quickly back down at her food. At some point, I tried to get us out of the situation. I stood up.

"Let's throw the food into the fire. Then we can finally get to the campfire!" I went ahead and Annabeth followed me. Eventually even Luke.

"What are we even doing at the campfire?" asked annabeth after she had put her leftovers in the campfire.

I winked at her. "Let it surprise you."

We were among the last to join the campfire, as we started eating later. We sat and listened to the Apollo children sing and watched the stars.

But when we arrived, the others took a deep breath. Chiron fell to his knees and began to speak.

"Welcome child of Athena, divine warrior, goddess of wisdom and strategy." Annabeth's eyes shone.

Chiron took a deep breath and turned to luke. "Welcome child of hermes, protector of travelers, merchants, lord of thieves and the great messenger of the gods."

Everyone clapped, including me. I hadn't noticed the signs at first because I was sitting next to them and hadn't looked up. Somehow it made me sad that Annabeth had to move now, but I was pleased that their parents had shown their appreciation.

But Luke didn't seem at all surprised. Not happy either. He scowled into the fire and just nodded. I was a little envious of him too. Not even a day here and they were already claimed. Me, on the other hand...

Like when you said you felt so happy you could die

We quickly became closer. Something drew me to this boy. It was nothing surprising, he looked beautiful. He wasn't just any boy. He was a golden masterpiece. But it went deeper than just his looks.

We thought very similarly.

I saw in his eyes this urge that we all shared. He wanted to show them. Rub under their noses what they were doing wrong. We shared that anger.

I crept quietly into the sword-fighting hall. I couldn't actually handle a sword, but that wasn't what I was here for. I was looking for someone. And sure enough, I found him here. He was training. Like every day.

He was great. Hit every training figure at the right point and swung his sword frighteningly well. I kept quiet and watched him. I didn't want to disturb him yet, he seemed so obsessed.

I watched him for a while until he seemed to be finished. Then he suddenly turned and looked at me. "If you're going to watch me, do it more discreetly."

Once again, I felt terrible and wanted to sink into the floor. "I didn't want to," I began but couldn't find the words. Eventually I just buried my face in my hands.

But he just laughed in response. "It's all right. Don't always worry so much." He came up to me and sat down next to me. We were silent for a while.

"Why?" I interrupted the silence. He looked at me questioningly. "Why are you training so hard?"

He looked at the floor and I suddenly felt bad. "I mean, we all train hard!" I tried to save myself. "But you train so much you seem... Angry." Obsessed.

He laughed again. But this laugh sounded rather bitter.

"My father wants to get me a quest. That's what he said, anyway." he said, continuing to look at the ground. His smile was still bitter.

I looked at him confused. "But that's a good thing, isn't it?"

"Maybe. Maybe not."

That was the end of the conversation. I didn't dare ask him any more about it, he seemed so far away. His eyes were fixed on his training sword as he twirled it in his hands.

When the sun shone on him, I realized for the first time how beautiful he actually was. He seemed to glow. I quietly watched his movements. I could have sat there all day. At some point he looked at me with a smile. And the tension in my shoulders, which I hadn't even noticed before, melted away.

"Do I have something on my face?" he laughed as I quickly turned away to hide my glowing face. "Come on, what's wrong?" he finally asked.

"Nothing." I replied. "Sometimes you just look so... Absent."

He fell silent again, but it wasn't an awkward silence. After a while, he sighed loudly and looked at me. His eyes seemed to express his vulnerability for the first time.

"I... Am just so...Angry sometimes! The gods, they rule our lives and at the same time they do nothing in it. Don't get me wrong, I like it here, the people are all great and I get along well with them. But I'm still so desperate! I can't do anything here. Just sit here all my life and trust that they have something planned for me up there."

I fell silent in response. He picked up a stone and threw it into the forest. "Don't you think we're going to perish because of them?"

"Maybe. Maybe not." I smiled at him. "Only the fates could know."

I picked up a smaller stone and threw it into the forest too. "You know..." I looked up into the sun, which perhaps also warmed me from the inside. "I have to admit that I've always been pretty indifferent to the gods. I was just happy to be able to live here." I threw a larger stone.

"But I've seen so much in a short time. Heard so much suffering. And the gods let it all happen. Often it's even because of them. And this is supposed to be our family?" I shook my head. "They don't care about us."

Wordlessly, he looked at the stones I had thrown. His back was tense and his eyes narrowed. I smiled cautiously at him.

"What I want to say, Luke, is don't worry too much about them. They don't waste a thought on us. Don't give them the satisfaction of wasting too many on them."

His tense back relaxed a little and he closed his eyes. Then he smiled again.

"You really like to talk."

Eventually you got the quest. Who was surprised? You seemed born to be a hero. It all happened far too quickly and suddenly you were supposed to go on this quest. Seventeen. What a horrible age that was. I was so deep down in the curse she send down on me. And then you were supposed to leave. I made so many mistakes the night before.

"I wish I could go with him." Annabeth sat with me in the forest and we watched the doves above us flying around together. "Annabeth..." I began, but she was already shaking her head. "I know I can't." she just mumbled and looked away.

She was far too young to be thinking about such quests. But when you grow up here and your only chance of being noticed by your parents are dangerous tasks, many have already become careless.

I watched as the white flower danced in the wind in front of me. It was a lily. The wind seemed to play with it and carried it around. And she just let it do that to her.

I picked up a stone and clasped it in my hand. Instead of throwing it, I held on to it, hoping never to let it go.

"Do you think he... You know... Can do it?" I asked her, squeezing tighter. Annabeth smiled at me.

"Of course he will! Luke can do anything, he's a great hero! Don't worry about it."

The flower was pushed slightly to the right by the wind and then looked at the ground.

My hand started to hurt, but I kept squeezing.

"You're right."

Annabeth smiled at me. I returned it a little awkwardly. We heard the dinner bell ring and Annabeth jumped up. She looked at me waiting.

"Go on ahead."

She hesitated at first but then finally ran off. When she was out of sight, I sighed loudly. I leaned against the tree behind me.

She could say that so easily. But I had seen so many campers go on quests. How they came back broken. Or how they were never seen again. Never see Luke again? The thought seemed unbearable.

A white dove landed next to the lily and tilted its head. Her gaze pierced me and my heart began to pound wildly.

I threw the stone at the white flower. The pigeon flew away in fright and I felt much better. The stone had hit the blossom of the flower but it remained slightly bent. Something red rubbed off on it.

Oh.

"There's our little criminal." Luke grinned at me as I came to the campfire. I tried to avoid his gaze, but somehow it still warmed me. "I thought we always ate together at dinner?"

I shrugged and sat down with him and the others from the cabin as usual. But today I put some distance between Luke and me.

"Wasn't hungry." I looked into the fire and tried to look very interested in the flames.

I was a bad liar.

"And since when is that an excuse?" he leaned forward slightly, closing the distance I had so diligently built up. His playful smile haunted my eyes. "You broke the rules!"

I laughed softly. "They're not as strict as I told you back then. I was just worried and wanted you to eat something."

He grabbed his chest dramatically. "You lied to me? How could you?"

He inconspicuously moved a little closer, as if I couldn't feel his every move. As if my heart didn't almost explode with each one. "Wait, you were worried?"

"Of course." I stroked my closed hand and continued to look into the fire. "You seemed so... Distant. You had made a big loss. I didn't want you to let yourself down."

"Oh is that so..." his voice was incredibly close. I nodded and continued to stare intently into the fire.

At some point he took my closed hand and now it was him who stroked it.

I noticed how others were watching us. I noticed how the fire seemed to dance. I noticed that annabeth was not here. I even noticed the little sparrows watching us in the trees above. Everything seemed so real and so far away at the same time. I wanted to die. I wanted to live.

I was embarrassed.

"Luke." I hated that my voice was shaking slightly. "Are you prepared?"

Luke laughed softly. "I've got my sword if that's what you mean. It's not as if my father gave me an original task. I already know what to expect, Heracles already had to do it."

He picked up a stick and threw it into the fire. "Before you know it, I'll be back."

I remained silent. The flames danced around him.

Actually, I wanted to say something else entirely. So much had to be said today, otherwise I might never be able to.

"What did you do with your hand? It's bleeding." He looked away as he said it. But his hand continued to rub over my closed hand. It burned but no longer hurt.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I fell stupidly. It's nothing big."

I was stupid.

He looked at me and I dared to look back. His eyes were so beautiful, but also a little sad.

"I can ask you to look after Annabeth while I'm away, can't I?" his voice sounded like a whisper.

I smiled back timidly. "I thought you'd be back before I even realized you were gone?"

He laughed in response. So freely and without constraint, I couldn't help but giggle a little too.

The trees were rustling and the sun was setting. With every second that it moved a little further towards the horizon, I felt more uncomfortable. His quest was getting closer and closer and maybe our last minute was too.

I was afraid.

"I will watch over her," I whispered at some point. "Even though I don't think she needs my protection."

He smiled uncertainly into the fire. "Maybe."

There was a long silence after that. I want to ask him so many things. Questions that never seemed appropriate to me. I don't know how much time we have left. But in this moment, I realize that it will never be enough. The gods have already taken her from us.

"Luke," my voice sounds unbelievably soft, I could cry. "You mentioned that Hermes told you he would give you a quest. You have already met him, haven't you? Not just in dreams."

His gaze remains on the fire. His eyes became slightly darker and I was about to take back my words and hide.

"Yes, we met once. It wasn't a pleasant day."

I saw him swallow and his hand closed around mine, which was bleeding. But it seemed more like he was bleeding.

"I... I went back to my old home because Annabeth, Thalia, and I needed some things. It was a mistake to go back there."

He never talked about his former home. Never about the time before Thalia, before Annabeth.

I want to ask him, to hold him in my arms, but I don't know where his boundaries lie.

"Was it bad?" His eyes meet mine and already give me the answer. They say 'yes.' 'It was unbearable.'

But he says nothing. Not a word.

The others are all gone now. The fire is getting smaller and the darkness is becoming more present.

"You know," he starts. "I don't know him." He takes a deep breath in and out. "Hermes. He's just a character in legends, supposedly my father. But I don't know him. I saw him once. And then I realized how little he really loves me. He left her alone."

I don't need to ask to know that he's talking about his mother. I know this feeling all too well.

"He was never there." His voice gets louder. "Never did anything. He knew! He knew about her episodes and never did anything! He just let me rot with her. And then he says that I made a mistake..." He trails off.

The silence that follows his wounded voice brings tears to my eyes.

He looks at me in panic. "No! I... It wasn't like that... Please don't cry!"

I can't help but cry even harder. I know what that's like. Alone with a woman who doesn't know what to do with herself. Without any support.

"Please..." his voice whispers as he wipes away my tears. "I'm fine."

You liar.

Told myself that you were right for me

"Are you ready to go back to the cabin?" his voice was so close to my ear as he held me in his arms.

I didn't look at him. I just couldn't look at him when it could be the last time.

"You go on."

I could feel him stiffen. His voice sounded a little strange when he spoke. "Why?"

I broke away from him. "You need to rest because of tomorrow."

I could feel him trying to catch my gaze. "So do you."

"I want to stay out for a while."

"You're breaking the rules."

"As if you care about them."

His voice became a little sharper. "What's wrong with you?"

I stood up. "I hate just thinking about you..."

"Yeah?"

"It's all good. The main thing is that you get some rest." I walked towards the forest. "Just let me clear my head. Please."

He wanted to say something. I sensed it. But he didn't say anything. Just stood up and walked to our cabin.

I trudged through the darkness to where I was talking to Annabeth.

The lillie was still standing. She was bent over and barely standing, but she was standing.

And then there was this eerie presence.

"I find it very rude when people throw stones at me."

But felt so lonely in your company

Despite my great faith in you, I sometimes couldn't follow you. Your thoughts were too much for me.

And you were you. I was me. Everyone in the camp loved you and always wanted to be with you. I was just one of so many.

Although I was with you so often, I understood so little about you.

I was alone in my faith.

After your quest, you changed. I didn't want to admit it but I realized it reluctantly. You also pushed me away from you more and more. And when I was claimed by Apollo at 17, you distanced yourself even more.

I was claimed far too late. I often asked myself why at that particular time. So soon after he had failed in his quest.

But when I think about it, maybe it makes sense. My father was the god of foresight. Maybe he wanted to save me from it when he realized what was going to happen.

Even if it's a nice thought, it's probably not true. Apollo can't see into the future. He can only tell a prophecy that he can't even interpret himself.

If I had received a prophecy, would anything have changed? Would I have behaved differently? Probably not.

Because although I realized that you had closed yourself off from me, I continued to approach you. I always went to you at the campfire. I always took your side at capture the flag.

One evening I didn't sat next to you at the fire. Next to you sat a beautiful girl from the Aphrodite cabin. I heard her talking to you.

"Why are you even talking to her?"

It was at the campfire. I was sitting far away, protected by the shadows of the trees. Nevertheless, I heard it loud and clear.

You didn't answer at first. The girl shifted uncomfortably. "Don't get me wrong," she said, "we all have these people we've known for so long that we're just always with them. But she always seems so out of place somehow."

I slipped further into the shadows of the trees. The moon hung just as it had that special night.

And yet it seemed so different.

"She's just always near you. Even now that she lives in cabin 7." Her voice sounded amused and I felt small.

"Yes, she's very desperate. "

Was it also a mistake to cry for you that night?

But that was love, and it's an ache I still remember

Unfortunately, my love for you didn't diminish. On the contrary, it grew stronger and stronger. Or maybe I only realized how strong it was when I knew that I was being too pushy with it.

I disappeared into the forest that evening and cried for hours. I don't know how you found me. Obviously you didn't know what I had overheard and asked me what was going on. You even made a worried face.

I couldn't answer you. Instead, you took me in your arms again and wiped away the tears on my cheeks. You whispered words of encouragement to me. And I let you be. Because I fell in love with you again. Isn't that pathetic?

I tried to stay away from you. Tried not to be so pushy. But you kept coming back to me. On days when I was only in the cabin, you came to me. Talked to me. Suddenly you were attentive. You thought I was feeling bad and tried to cheer me up.

And then you kissed me.

And when I was near you again, you never mentioned it. Again.

Suddenly you were distant again. I didn't know what to do. I felt so alone. I often wondered what you even saw in me. I was too caught up in my suffering that I couldn't see how you were. I was too confused by your behavior that I couldn't see the reasons behind it.

How were you? I don't know.

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness

I was trapped in my feelings for you. It was always the same process. You distanced yourself, I distanced myself, you approached me, we spent wonderful moments, I was with you again and you distanced yourself again.

And despite all the nights I cried, I always gave in. I kept letting you in on my feelings. You were simply the only one I could love. Why? I don't know. Maybe Aphrodite herself hated me. Or the fates.

I certainly hated myself.

Like resignation to the end, always the end So when we found that we could not make sense Well, you said that we would still be friends

Somewhere I had already given up. I loved you, but I had given up on us. I often saw you with other girls. They were all so much more beautiful than me, how could I think otherwise?

How could I try to understand your actions?

I was alone with my own self-doubt. With my own fears. What were you alone with?

I was too self-centered to see all these signs. Even when Percy came to camp and you were even less with me. My little siblings feel sorry for me. They see me as a girl hopelessly in love. Do you see it? What you've made of me?

Do you remember the evening before Percy came to the camp? The evening you visited me after I had kissed another boy. I was so terrible lonely to the time. And when this boy kissed me in front of the campfire I didn't fight it. He didn't even mean it. But you were still so angry when you came into my cabin. You kissed me like you wanted to make my lips yours again. Like they were ever someone else's.

When you kissed me that evening, I was filled with such a strong longing that I couldn't think. I allowed myself to return your kiss with such passion that I felt dizzy. Your arms pulled me closer to you. Fire seemed to burn all over my body.

As we lay on my bed and continued kissing, I started to cry. You stopped and moved away from me.

"What's wrong? Have I done something wrong?" Your voice sounded panicked. I cried even harder.

Tell me, do you think you've done something wrong?

As always, you wanted to take me in your arms but this time I pushed you away. I didn't want to cry in your arms when it was the same thing that made me cry in the first place. It was all so much. I remember the way you looked at me. For the first time I may have hurt you.

"I love you."

Oh how I wish I had said it. But I kept crying quietly.

"I'm sorry."

Did you want to say it at that moment?

But you didn't. And that's what mattered. You left.

I saw you with Percy when he was new. Admired you as always because you showed him everything like I used to show you. Because you didn't show him your pain because of the gods too much.

When Percy looked to see if he was a child of Apollo, he was with me. You too, because of course you wanted to help him. We talked normally again as we always did after that night when you had visited me.

Percy asked us if we were a couple. I still remember your face clearly. You looked at me hesitantly. As if I should answer. I smiled back at him.

"We're just friends."

What would have happened if I had said something else? Again, something I don't know. But I know one thing for sure. You had an iron look on your face afterwards.

You always looked at Percy funny afterwards too.

You didn't visit me the next nights.

But I'll admit that I was glad it was over

When Percy went on his big quest, you were like a different person. You completely ignored me. Your face looked like there was so much worry behind your eyes. And even though I saw all that, I didn't go to you.

I was so afraid that you would ignore me too if I approached you. Fear. Such a simple excuse and yet the only reason. You really broke me.

At first I thought it was because you had your own quest to think about. Of your own suffering and that percy, grover and especially annabeth could fail in the same way. I thought that was the only reason you were so introverted.

Then why didn't your behavior change even after they succeeded?

It even got worse. You were just training for days with no end. You only practiced sword fighting. As if you desperately wanted to improve. I thought maybe you were very bitter because they had completed the quest and you hadn't completed yours. That's why you wanted to improve so badly.

Or that you wanted to prepare for something.

But you didn't have to cut me off

~ The camp was... Eerily quiet. No one was out. As if no one dared to speak on such a morning. Will, a very young brother of mine, ran towards me.

"Percy's hurt!" he shouted, "We need your help!"

I rushed with him to the main building, where Percy was lying in a bed, with Annabeth and Chiron sitting by his side.

"What happened?" I asked as I looked at his wounds.

"He was stung by a scorpion or something..." said annabeth. Then she looked down. "Anyway, that's what he said... In his sleep."

I had to stop myself from frowning and got to work. Will left the room.

After a short while, he woke up. And then he said it.

"It was Luke."

Everything went quiet.

"What are you talking about?" I asked with a forced smile.

Percy sat up carefully. "It was Luke. He's the lightning thief."

Annabeth stiffened and Chiron sat there without saying anything.

"What are you saying?" I stopped cooling his forehead.

Annabeth sighed and looked away. Chiron seemed to understand what was going on.

"Luke poisoned me. Luke helped kron- the titan king." Percy's voice echoed through the room. Or was it just my head?

"You still seem to be affected by the poison." I tried to sound as normal as possible.

"No, he's right." annabeth shook her head. "That would explain a lot."

"What are you saying, Annabeth? You of all people should-" I began, my voice getting louder and louder.

"Percy would never lie." chiron interrupted me.

I looked at him. And ran out of the building.

And as I saw that he wasn't in the camp, my whole wirld collapsed. It wasn't just that he abandoned us. He didn't even talk to me.

He didn't even consider talking to me.

#luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you #luke castellan angst #angst no comfort #percy jackson #thalia grace #annabeth chase #greek mythology #Spotify

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libelelle · 2 years ago

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OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER. my opinion on Silver is by no means the single correct one nor do i think it should be, do what you do idc. we're all here throwing him at a wall repeatedly for fun

Ok so. whats the point i wanted to make. oh yeah right

SILVER THE HEDGEHOG!!!! FUCK!!!!

his character is so interesting this is a character for sure. im screaming and crying etc etc. the unfortunate part is NO ONE GETS HIM. i see a lot of interpretations that cherry pick his personality and experiences and it just! isnt it! he is a complicated character!

trying to simplify him down to 🥺innocent soft boi🥺 doesn't work, not only cause you're ignoring his DEBUT GAME (NEVER FORGET HE TRIED KILLING SONIC) but also because you just disconnected him from his entire backstory and motivations. i see people making Silver into a "cinnamon roll" guy and it always makes me grimace because... do you know WHY he is clueless. do you know why he doesn't get things or is too trusting or this or that. its because he grew up in the apocalypse alone. he hasn't experienced anything normal or healthy in his entire life. and since these traits, which are used to make him into the innocent cinnamon roll, are a result of growing up in a very abnormal environment, are symptoms of having never been in social situations and never had a normal day-to-day life. this means you can't ignore the OTHER characteristics that result from it. by this i mean hes very independent, very stubborn and aggressively mean (i recommend watching any of Silvers interactions in the Rivals games. he is extremely confrontational and a very good example of the kind of behaviour i'm talking about). but since this doesn't fit the bill for the character that you want him to be, you remove the context. him being clueless has nothing to do with his background. hes anxious cause hes a smol bean, not because hes been drowning in responsibility and trauma for as long as hes been alive. hes kind because hes innocent, not because he chose to be despite it all

"but linnea! what about IDW! hes very innocent in that!" INCORRECT BUZZER. IDW is not the same. i'll admit, the writing isn't always what i want or expect for Silver, but there's something important for you to note here

Silver is ✨Recovering✨

from my perspective at least. what i see is Silver, who has actively been working together with other people for MONTHS. he has friends, a support net, as well as hobbies. these are things he didn't have before, and being with these people, in both calm and hard times, helped him. So what we are seeing isn't the trauma responses, we're seeing the result of being acclimatized into a healthier and safer position. that's why there's a change in behaviour. this doesn't mean hes a soft boy now. AGAIN hes complicated. be careful not to boil him down to a single trait. in IDW we still see moments where he experiences difficulties because of his past. examples include when he met Whisper, Failed Social Interaction and said this:

he struggles with boundaries! of course he does! he's still getting the hang of being around people

then also recently when he came to help Sonic in 58:

he is struggling!! with nothing to focus on! his default is fight fight save the future fight!! he's not used to normal life and that makes him anxious and frustrated, unable to focus on things he cares about, as we see in the future growth comic in the 2022 annual

there are likely more examples but idc. need to finish this post. continuing, Silver is complicated, meaning that even when he is aggressive and tunnel visioning on a task, he has more going on. one thing i fucking lovee LOVE love about Silver is that he has hope. fuck if i were him i think i'd have given up. THOSE horrors? every day? no thanks

Silver feels anguish and frustration and fear. this being said even at his angstiest moments he has hope. you cannot look me in the eye and tell me that Silver fought through every horrible disaster, coming back to a newly devastated world every time and decided to continue with no hope for a better future. he is determined and he has hope, even if he has to fight tooth and nail for it. Usually when i think about Silver and his odd optimism, i go back to '06, when he's having his moral crisis over killing sonic.

"To kill someone to save the world... is that really the right thing to do?"

it would've been understandable if he decided it was the right thing to do, even if sonic was someone who was kind and loved, because that's just how bad the world is. maybe its just me, but the way this thought broke through in spite of his bull headed focus on destroying the iblis trigger speaks to me about his nature as a person. even coming from the bleak world he came from and even with the tunnel vision he had, he still considered this one persons life to be important too.

he is, at heart, a very gentle and kind person. he is, at heart, someone who is strong and who wants to help others. a version of Silver that is sad all the time, unable to see the good in the world (a phenomena i don't see much of thankfully) isn't true to Silver as a character because its missing that core trait to his character, that he wants to help because he cares.

Silver can't be one or the other. one way ignores his background and his trauma, which leaves out important parts of his personality, the other just abandons a very integral part of who he is.

the point really is to say that (slaps roof of Silver) this bad boy can fit so much layers!

#if i got it wrong you are welcoming to blast me with your psychic waves #if you aren't psychic though you have to be niceys though #AGAIN. im not trying to dictate anyones interpretations of him. the world is a beautiful place and your perspective likely has something #i didnt consider. characters are great in that theyre meant to be interpreted.#anyways 3 am rapidly approaches. time to eep #analysis #silver the hedgehog #long post #talk tag

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overtaken-stream · 1 year ago

Note

You could write more about King Wildfire, there's so little of him and I'm obsessed with him too.anything about him

Do Not F4lter

King The Wildfire x Strawhat!Reader

The actions take place when Luffy is still on the whole cake island. Reader is Genderneutral so if I slipped somewhere please notify me. I didn't want this to turn out like how it did but Idk it kinda grew on me. Also, THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC and I don't think it is platonic either, King and Reader respect each other as pirates. But Reader has disdain for everyone bc obviously... Fun fact, I wanted this to be a part 1 of another fic I'm making of Lunarian!Reader but it's completely different from the other (the other is rotting inside my drafts at the moment so, I'll see what I can do to save it. + I'll probably only release that on AO3 since I just dump ideas too small for AO3 on here)

Warning: Gender neutral Reader, past torture, current torture is discribed(suffocation and burn at the end), blood, jail, murder is mentioned. King talks a bit too much for my liking, but I don't think it is out of character.

The desolate chambers, parched and dull of any care lay quietly in Wano, the days went by with little to no warmth ever touching you, the smell of iron and the taste of blood bring what little comfort it could, the heavy shackles retained your hands together as you settled against the freezing, rocky wall in the darkness, panting to try and get your energy back, to no luck, your legs had no energy to hold your body weight up, let alone break through the seastone bars of this place.

As much as you tried to get yourself together to try and attain what little information the prisoners had collected over the months of being kept in this place, it was hard hearing anything past the waves of headaches that deafened your ears, even if you could, only the whimpers and groans of battered prisoners would meet you.

The tight shackles held onto you as you sat in the darkness of the cell, head tossed back against the cool wall as small talk chimed around the jail, the unknown voices of pirates who dared to cross Kaidou's territory were taken into interrogation for who knows how many times, some decided to switch sides while others did not spoke a word about their schemes, hence they've met their end.

You keep to yourself. You don't need anyone here. Not these scumbags anyway.

The murmurs of captured were silenced as the heavy door creaked, soon the footsteps sounded around the frosty enclosure, followed by a creaking sound of leather rubbing against latex. Sharp, hard, nonresonant sounds, produced by two pieces of metal striking, echo within their every step.

They walk with slow and confident strides, and from the sound of it, they have a mass greater than an average human. You expect them to take somebody away for questioning, testing, or torturing, depending on their mood and assignment.

But never would you have imagined the heat that claws its way underneath your skin. The unexpected warmth steals a gasp from your mistreated lips causing you to grimace at the pain the action bought. The torches and lanterns never emitted this much heat whenever your captors came into. They were a source of light and you cannot seem to figure out how they keep their body temperature in this type of environment while wearing an outfit rivaling Emporio Ivankov. Seriously how do they do it?!

With the warmth that this person brings came a vibrant light and for the first time in seven days you've been here, you have a clear view past the bars you've been taken in, though it is not much different from yours. The temperature keeps growing to the point its warmness swallows your whole body in comfort. The yellow hue just around the corner is followed by separated fire sparks and the cracking noises they disgorge, joined by metal clanks and leather creaks.

It is not until the silhouette stands on the other side of the bars that you realize The Monster–or should you say– The Beast that stood a couple of meters away from you, their long limbs and broad shoulders made to accommodate the sheer size of their dark and heavy wings make him that much more overawing. they're covered from head to toe with blue leather, the thought of wearing that much skin makes you uneasy, and the spikes cover the main intimidation factor. The mask.

With a brief look one would give to an insect, irrelevant critter, he stares. One would say they were belittling you if you had not known who exactly he was.

The All-Star. The fire itself. The Conflagration.

You cannot help but smile through your beaten expression, a cunning smile overtakes your features as if you've won a game you didn't know you were playing. It feeds your ego. Kaidou's right-hand man himself came to interrogate you because the mediocre ogres couldn't get a word out of you.

His burning eyes stare at you in a way that tells you of your lukewarm retort to his presence. You couldn't agree more that it was a dumb reaction, but as a cackle escapes into the air, devoid of any noises excluding the flames on his back, you cannot help yourself.

(It sounds so much like the pained and shrilled laughter of a man in a blue and white mask, a silent Kid Pirate if you remember correctly.

He should have known better than to make an offer with a corrupted man like the Shogun. Deals and offers are double adged swords in the world of piracy. He of all people, should have known.)

Your cackle turns into coughing and desperate gasps of air, awaiting your heart to settles down, you spoke.

``I... I feel honored, having an All-Star involved in-``

King interrupts you with a key, opening the door and dragging your exhausted and squalid body harshly into the interrogation cabinet. Can't have others listening into your screams of agony.

his voice, so monotonous keeps a gruff edge as he speaks.

``I won't repeat it again Straw hat (Y/N), what are you trying to pull off here in Wano.`` He leans his back against the wall next to the door while you sluggishly fall to the floor, even in your haze you still vividly hear his question, not so much as a question but an order for you to state your business in this closed-off country.

Your half-lidded eyes do not move away from the ceiling, but your smile falls into a thin line. You wish you could bask in his warmth in peace.

``Where is your captain? Your crew?``

``...Not with me.`` technically you aren't lying.

``I'll ask again, where is your captain.``

``I told you and that fool of an officer the answer alre-ady!`` you raise your voice, and furrow your brows at the voice crack that formed due to dehydration. ``I'm not with them.``

That sentence could be taken in multiple ways. You wonder which he chooses to take.

Silence fills the chamber as he drills holes into your face with his eyes alone. He steps toward you, slow and calm in a way he isn't, until the bottom of his boot meets your throat.

``...Members of the Worst Generation Pirates think they have any significance in the New World. They conceive thoughts that they're stronger then they actually are and feed the lies only to satisfy their hunger to make an impact of some kind.``

You can feel the blood trying to travel in your body as he puts more and more pressure on your airways, cutting you off from the precious oxygen. You felt as if your head could explode from the pain.

Barely through your teeth you ask of why he hasn't ended you yet, like they've done with numerous pirates.

``A carrot on the stick.`` he answers with eyes of the soulless, watching the shocking realization seep into your eyes. they're planning on using you as a leverage, to get to Luffy, they would not kill you, oh no.

``It's amazing, the fact that you came to us at the most perfect time. He has been the reason of Kaidou's headaches for a while now.`` Your need for air was long forgotten, even when you saw black spots form in your vision, you couldn't get the fright out of your system. Couldn't get the thought of which meaning he chose from your previous answer to your brain.

He takes the boot off of your throat. the oxygen pushes it's way through your irritated throat and lungs as you gasp and squirm in the dim room.

``I'm here to give you an offer. To join The Beast Pirates, while acting as our pawn, or you'll meet your maker in this place. Either way, you'll end up being a tool one way or another.``

Ten seconds pass, twenty seconds pass in silence. A laugh erupts.

``Hah! It's quite a defeated way to go, I'll either gain what little freedom I can in your ranks, or I'll continue to take what I've already taken tons of times...`` A sweat rolls down your cheek, distorted to accommodate the smile overtaking your face. You worry for yourself, but you do not falter.

Dirt and grime sticks to your clothes, blood and gore covers your limbs, which pang and cramp on their own, pain lingers in your every word and movement. You're drained of any energy, your thirsty and hungered. You do not falter.

His eyes stare at your numb face, confused because why are you laughing, irritated because he knows which option you'll choose. Respect doesn't have to come naturally to him– it is something he has learned through Kaidou, it is something he rarely ever feels towards someone, even among Kaidou's own men. But now as he stares into your determined face, he shows regard for your dedication and ability.

``Give it all you've got because there is no way I'm ever joining you assholes...!`` even if you know they will still use you, there is a higher survival chance you acknowledge, pride, selflessness, selfishness, will, whatever it is that will remain untouched due to this decision, you can only hope to make it out of here before they stop fueling the fire within you. Make it out before they break you completely.

King can only accept you on equal basis and give you the same consideration you would expect for yourself. Though he rarely feels interest there is an attraction of sorts that he admits, and respects as a pirate. There's a shared dedication that he has in common with you. And he wonders.

``It would have been nice to get to know you better, but I'm afraid I don't care.``

And your blank (E/C) tells him of an identical thought.

Temperature grows and vibrant flames are fueled, your torment continues with a mutual agreement in mind.

#one piece #anime #king one piece #king the wildfire #.my writing.#king the wildfire x reader #one piece spoilers #one piece x reader #Gender neutral reader

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tildeathiwillwrite · 14 days ago

Text

Whumptober Day 27

27 VOICELESS | Laboratory | Muzzled | “I have no mouth and I must scream.”

Whumptober Prompts List | Masterpost

Fandom: Original Work

Words: 700

Tag List: @fourwingedsnake @whumperofworlds @pigeonwhumps @mr-orion @scaewolf

@the-ellia-west

CW: lab whump, ptsd, magic suppression, muzzled

----------

I don't remember a lot from that period of my life. My body remembers more than my mind, which tried its best to block out the horrors of those weeks and months spent trapped inside that sterile prison.

Many a dream has ended with screaming, clutching at my mouth and throat for a muzzle that is no longer there. Most of the dreams fade within moments of waking. And for that, I am grateful.

Silence was preferred. Forced. The muzzle was to keep me from speaking, from pleading with my captors for freedom, respite, comfort. For compassion.

I almost forgot how to use my voice. Even after my escape from that wretched place, I would rarely speak aloud, preferring hand signs, gestures, and written words. I am told I was stealthy too, although I'm not sure when that particular response came about.

I don't doubt your surprise. But I will remind you it has been many years since my time there. That is one of the reasons I chose to speak about it now. Another reason is because it's you, and my history, no matter how… horrific… needs to be told to those who deserve to know.

Those who are in danger of suffering the same thing.

Interesting, how once you become the victim of a home invasion, nowhere ever feels truly safe. Not even a coffin buried in the ground will soothe my paranoia that they will find me and bring me back to that horrible, horrible place. It was night when they came for me. I’m not sure how they found out about me, my mother, ever the worried sort as was common in that era, drilled into me at an early age to hide my true self.

Hiding wasn’t difficult, I was allowed to express myself freely within the safety of home, so I was never as careful as I should have been. Because of the measures my mother took to keep me safe, I never felt as though the danger actually existed. So I must have slipped up.

That night is a blur in my memory. Honestly I couldn’t even tell you when it even happened, my sense of time got so fucked up I only have an estimation of my age. I remember a loud crash, and yelling. I rarely heard my mother raise her voice, so her shouts stuck with me even as most other details faded away.

After that was the facility. I was kept in a cell, with metal bracelets around both wrists and the muzzle over my mouth. The bracelets always quietly hummed with some sort of energy that I am now certain suppressed my abilities. The first weeks were incredibly disorienting as I got used to the loss of something that I had possessed all my life. It was difficult to think, let alone focus on all the fucked up tests they ran on me.

I suppose, in a twisted, bitter way, I am grateful for that.

The stink of rubbing alcohol is always prevalent in my dreams, so I assume it accompanied much of my waking moments. The taste of the leather muzzle, and the blood in my mouth were also constants. Bruises on my arms, my legs, my face…

To this day I can’t stand the sight of needles. Can’t stand the touch of any fabrics that remind me too much of the simple loose clothing forced upon me. You can see the scars from the bracelets. I… I can’t sleep in silence, or in darkness.

And I couldn’t even speak.

I got away, yes, but it took months, and I cannot pretend that I escaped on my own. I do not know what happened to the guard who pitied me enough to let me out. I can only hope that he was able to slip away as well. Insubordination within their own ranks was sure to be met with severe consequences.

I hope you understand the severity of what I am trying to convey. I do not know how I have gone for so long without being found a second time. This is why we hide. This is why we must remain the world’s little secret. Some humans may accept us yet. But for now, the danger is too great.

You understand?

We’ll see.

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count-alucard-tepes · 1 year ago

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Op hotties react to their s/o dying in childbirth? please

Ah the angst! I might be real emo with this one because I love writing sad headcanons also I’m assuming the child survives.

Kizaru✨

He takes time off to be with his child and to mourn. He relies on his in laws to help him with the baby since he doesn’t have any family. He thinks about retiring but Akainu persuaded him not to. The admirals and vice admirals visit him and the baby often to make sure they didn’t feel like they were alone. He often would sit in his bedroom when the baby was asleep and would cry as he watched their wedding video or look through his S/O personal things. It takes him months before he can feel like himself again and fully devotes himself to his child.

Akainu🌋

He is beyond heartbroken by the loss of his S/O and it takes him a while until he can try to get himself into daddy mode but once he does, he doesn’t leave his child alone for a second and if the baby starts crying…he immediately is there to see to them. He takes the baby to work and has a baby sitter there when he needs to get work done. The admirals and vice admirals are very supportive and often come to see the baby or bring him things he would need since he doesn’t know much about children. When the baby is finally asleep, he would sit on his porch, looking at his garden as he’d reminisce about how his S/O and him met…got married and had so many hopes and dreams for their child and he’d have to carry out on his own now.

Ryokugyu 🌱

It is completely devastating to him, he can’t even look at his kid that he ends up leaving them with his in laws until the admirals force him to get it together and go see his child. When he does, he realizes his child looks just like his S/O and he bursts out into tears…everything he had been holding in finally coming to the surface. From then, he starts taking care of his child by himself and making sure they have everything of the best. He couldn’t imagine spending a day where he doesn’t get to see their sweet face.

Fujitora 🐅

He is hurt deeply by the loss of his child but he is present with his child at all times. He needs some help with understanding how to care for his child and employs a helper. Once he gets the hang of it, he is very involved. He tends to reminisce about his S/O and this makes him tear up but then his child always finds a way to cheer him up.

Sir Crocodile 🐊

He is hurt by it all but doesn’t show any emotion at all, he has Daz helping him to care for the child and he starts to get more involved day by day. However, when he does start to process everything…he can’t control his tears and his emotions. He couldn’t believe this was happening, he was so happy for the first time in his life with his S/O and they were to have a child…but it was so unexpected to lose his S/O during childbirth he thought everything was going well but such is life.

Doflamingo Donquixote 🦩

He goes silent for a while after his S/O passes on and just sends some time with his child for a few minutes before he lets Baby 5 take care of the baby. It’s taking its toll on him and he barely can even sleep…everything reminds him of his S/O and once again he lost another family member. He drinks a lot to drown his sorrows and tries to get back to reality but it’s just too much to handle. Slowly, he starts easing back to normal and be in his kid’s life too.

Benn Beckman 🔫

He cannot believe what had happened in such a short amount of time. One moment, he and his love were just relaxing and then his S/O went to labor…the next moment the doctor was telling him only his child survived. He had his new born in his arms and kissed their little fingers slowly as tears fell from his eyes. He would do everything for his child and would accept help from the crew. He would also start distancing himself from being a pirate and more just a father, he wasn’t going to put his child in danger or for them to live on a ship. He wanted them to have a normal life…that’s what his S/O wanted too.

Katakuri Charlotte 🍡

His S/O was his world and now all that shattered once he lost them during childbirth but luckily his baby survived and that was the only reason for him keeping it together. He took his little baby and decided to leave the island for a while…away from his family…he just needed to be with his baby for a while to process his loss and mourn but move on too. His family was concerned and some travelled close to just to make sure both of them were okay. He becomes an attentive father and makes sure his child’s needs are all met. He and his S/O wanted to leave the Big Mom pirates after the baby was born…it was this dream to leave and live their own lives but now he would do this with his child…he would carry on his S/O’s wish.

Killer🔪

He would sit in silence after he heard that he lost his S/O before all the emotions just started flooding through his mask. He couldn’t stop crying and asked why this was happening to him. All he wanted was just to be happy and he found that happiness with his S/O…with their child but now it was ripped away from him. When he was handed his baby, he quickly wiped his face before cuddling the little bundle of joy in his arms, playing with their fingers. He’d call on his crew for support during this time and they all would help him get through this as well as take care of the baby…it was not just his child anymore…it was their child.

Kaido🐉

This was not happening again. He couldn’t deal with this again. He came to the conclusion that it was all his fault that both Yamato’s mom and his S/O both died in childbirth because of him…he was the common denominator. He couldn’t even look at his new born…it was too much to bare. He’d once again try to find a way to end his life…to finally see both the mothers of his children again. Once he gave up trying to kill himself, he would find King and Queen both caring for his new born…just as they did for Yamato. He’d gently take his child into his hold and kiss and caress their little form before trying to be a better father this time.

King👑

He would hear the news that would shatter him completely. They were the only family he ever had and now they were taken away from him. His throat was burning as he tried suppressing his screams of anguish and his tears. It felt like he couldn’t breathe, like all the life was being sucked out of him and that he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He thought everything was fine with the pregnancy, that they were both safe and healthy. His thoughts would be thankfully interrupted when his child was brought to him, all wrapped up in a blanket. He’d quickly take his baby and hold them close, they looked just like his S/O and that warmed his heart a little. He’d lean down and kiss his child lovingly before vowing to be the best father he could be no matter what. Queen was there for him, helping with all he could to make sure both King and the baby were fine…he wanted to make sure his friend knew he was there for him.

Queen👑

“…that…can’t be true…they were okay…you said they were healthy…” he’d say as he took a seat in the waiting room as he’d begin to process what was being told to him, he just kept repeating that it wasn’t true. King was called in to take the baby and he would go and sit next to Queen with the baby in his arms, “…Queen…pull yourself together…for the baby”, he’d said gently as he showed him his child. It took a moment for him to snap back into reality and then see his child, they were so perfect…perfect like his S/O. He’d cry as he took his baby and held them close to his chest, promising to make them happy.

Izou🔫🔫

It felt like the world was falling down before him…like everything was shattering around him when he heard that his S/O did not make it through childbirth. He didn’t understand as everything seemed fine with his S/O and the baby during their check ups but then how? How did this happen? The Whitebeard pirates were all there to support their brother and the news was devastating to them as well…but there was hope. The baby was healthy and alive. One of the crew would bring the new born to Izou and show him, he couldn’t help but tear up more when he saw his little baby. They were so perfect and cute just like his S/O…they even looked like his S/O. He would cradle his child in his arms and smother them with kisses…he knew well enough how to take care of a child as he took care of his sister and was around Oden’s kids so he was knowledgeable. It still did hurt that he had to do it all on his own but he knew his S/O was there in spirit.

Dragon D Monkey 🐉🐒

He was shattered by the news of losing his S/O to childbirth, they shared so many hopes and dreams for the world that their child would be brought into but now that he would have to try and raise their child in. He would care for his newborn the best he could but he would recruit some help since he was so busy and he didn’t really know how to raise a child but he wanted things to be different for his second child…he wanted to be an active father. There were times when his child was asleep that he would hallucinate and see his S/O around their home if he was drinking too much and it would make him cry his eyes out as he knew they weren’t really there but to see them…was everything he needed at that moment…even if it was just for a moment, it meant the world to him.

Oven Charlotte 🍞

He thought the doctor was lying, he was ready to fight them but his siblings would stop him before he went any further. He would breakdown right on the floor where he was being restrained by his brothers, shouting at the top of his lungs for his S/O to come back to him and this can’t be happening to him. He couldn’t bring himself to see his child immediately, he would have to be forced to see them and when he does…he couldn’t bring himself to be away from the baby. He would learn from his sisters on how to care for his child and would try his best to be the best dad that he could be. He would need to take time to himself to mourn for his S/O but would bounce back to being in daddy mode again.

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zooophagous · 2 years ago

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RE: doodle grooming. In general people absolutely do NOT know doodles need a shit ton of grooming. In my short stint as a groomer, the salon's highest cost customers were ALL doodles. Even more than the Samoyed that would come in, and it was because their coats are nightmares. We required clients to book their doodles every 4 weeks no matter what because otherwise they'd probably need a shave down, which is stressful and often painful if there's matting. Even if(HUGE IF) the owners would brush their dogs, there would STILL be matting. you cannot guarantee a doodle's coat type, because they're mutts. Every doodle I met was an especially neurotic and poorly behaved animal and it is NOT expected by the owners at all, because they're marketed as perfect cute tiny forever puppies that never shed, and instead they're $1500-per-year on grooming costs alone hyperactive and and frequently huge nightmare animals. And that's if you can find a groomer, because a lot of places flat out will not take doodles for that reason; there were articles about it in every month's groomers trade magazine I saw. I guess my point is Never believe a doodle apologist I've been in the trenches I've seen it war is hell.

I totally feel for the owners too because a lot of them do TRY to brush the dog but they'll miss the armpits or they won't go all the way to the skin or the dog will go swimming and immediately felt up; they can be so hard to keep pretty!!!

I say this as someone who keeps wool rabbits- you have to be interested in grooming as an activity in its own right to adequately care for some animals; or you have to be willing and able to pay for it to be done; or you need to be prepared to shear and keep them short.

Which of course ruins the cute teddy bear effect of a doodle cut and makes them look very much like shaved poodles anyway.

Personally if I have this much trouble with my 5 pound rabbit (and grooming an angora is WORK) I would never take on a large breed curly coated dog of any kind.

#im lucky that blue has a sort of flat labrador coat lol #and the pup im waitlisted for will be a plush coat so there will be hair but not really pelted mats

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effypcfc · 1 year ago

Text

Hooty Commits Kidnapping, Sort of...

I've written this short fanfiction inspired by this piece made by @juatoo, which depicts Amity Blight playing with figures of her and Luz Noceda, possibly imagining a romantic scenario between them.

Made it into its own separate Tumblr post because I fear it's not getting any engagement as I hoped because it was written as a reblog. Also made some minor changes to it as well, hopefully, to flesh out the characters' thoughts and feelings better.

References to episodes and moments in The Owl House S2, so spoiler alert, I guess, if that counts.

Anyhoot, I hope y'all enjoy it!

======================================

Amity Blight is sitting alone in her room, trying her hardest to concentrate on her studies, but unable to do so. Constantly bothered by her growing feelings for Luz Noceda, her human friend, who she has recently graced with a kiss to the cheek when they last met, she does the one thing she can think of to process the whole thing.

Checking the adjacent hallway outside her room to see that neither Edric nor Emira, her older siblings who have a knack for teasing and playing pranks on her, are close by, seeing that neither is nearby, she then closes her door, grabs a vial of abomination goo, casts a spell circle, and shapes two small blobs of the purple viscous liquid into solid and fully-detailed likenesses of herself and Luz. She then tries her best to imitate Luz's voice, making both figures talk to each other.

"Oh, Amity, your hair's different!"

"Yeah, I thought I could use a change," She says, alternating between her usual speaking voice and her mock-Luz voice.

"It suits you. Makes you look prettier." Coyly, Amity then says "Aww, thanks," brushing her own hair behind her ear. "Listen, thank you for getting me my job at the library back. It means so much to me that you did, and I hope you got the information you need from that echo mouse."

"And thank you for saving my life the other night. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about you being my hero. Guess you could say you've swept me off my feet. I'll never forget you once I return home, Amity." She then makes Luz's figure kiss her figure on the cheek, imagining what could have been if things played out differently if Luz reciprocated her feelings and kissed her first. She was thinking back to when she lost all inhibition that moment. That evening, she is moved after realizing that Luz really genuinely cares for her and wants to make up for getting her fired from the library, after getting caught by Malphas, the master librarian, her boss, as they were sneaking into the Forbidden Stacks.

Amity also couldn't help but worry that she might never get the chance to be with Luz again, for good. She herself has helped Luz find a way to travel back to the Human Realm, after all.

"I'll miss you, Luz. You reckless, wonderful ray of light, you. My fearless champion," Amity sighs, then lays her head on the desk where both figures are, defeated by this realization, wishing she could soon talk to Luz about what transpired that evening. Wishing Luz felt the same way about her as she does.

"'Farewell forever'? What were you thinking?! Nah, you weren't thinking! Now it's about to come true! You blew it, Amity!" she chastises herself under her breath, burying her head under her arms.

Emira sneakily walks into Amity's room, noticing her face-down on her bedside desk, teasingly greets "HEY MITTENS!!!"

Amity shrieks in surprise and embarrassment, blushing furiously.

"So, Luz, huh?"

Amity groans in resignation, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, and what about it?," she snaps. She knows she cannot lie about it anymore. Emira has caught her red-handed (or should I say, red-faced.) She must have also overheard Amity's poor impression of Luz's voice on the way in, so there's no coming back from that now.

Emira then tells her "I remember just a couple months ago, you were being so mean to her, and now look at the two of you, the best of friends, and now, you're head over heels for this human girl. You even kissed her! My little sister, all grown up and in love!"

GIF by weirdo-with-no-beardo

Amity, flustered, says "You saw that?!," sighs deeply in annoyance, then tells her sister "I can't help it, okay! I like Luz! I can't stop thinking about her without catching myself smiling like an idiot." She then dissolves both figures of her and Luz back into goo and directs it all back into the vial.

"She can be so stupid. She has a thing for getting in trouble again and again. Despite that, she's… genuinely nice. Nice to me, Willow, and Gus too. She's always there for them, for me, which is sweet. Genuinely nice, unlike the other girls I'm friends with at school. Unlike Boscha. I can't stop thinking about the next time we hang out together again. I can't stop thinking about wanting to hug her tightly. I've never felt this way about anyone, ever!"

Amity pauses to compose herself, then declares "I'm Amity Blight, top student at Hexside... or, at least, I was. I shouldn't be freaking out over this. I've faced a slitherbeast and lived. I've fought off Grom, and even Mom and Dad's stupid robots, without breaking a sweat! So why does talking about my feelings for Luz feel this scary?"

"I thought it's adorable though, even Edric agrees," Emira answers. "I've never seen you happy in a long time, and I could tell you've been happier since being friends with Luz. I feel you, though. Love is definitely scary. It's scary, especially if it's your first time feeling this way about someone, but you know what? You should still do it! Tell her how you feel. Just think, she will eventually have to go back home. You might not get another chance to see her again, so you might as well do it now," Em says in reply, hoping to offer some encouragement to her lovestruck younger sister.

"I know that," said Amity. "I know she'll have to go back home, and I will tell her about it, in time, right before she leaves. I just gotta build up my courage first. Play it carefully, plan it out, like I always do, you know…"

"I understand. Sometimes though, things like this don't need too much planning. You just let this girl know. You walk up to her, preferably on a good day for both of you, and tell her 'Hey, Luz! I like you, I like hanging out with you, and I think we should go out together, for real, this time. Do you wanna be my girlfriend?'" says Emira, giving Amity ideas, at the same time, flustering her even more at the thought of being Luz's girlfriend. "Then, just hope for the best!" she adds.

Both girls have not noticed the open balcony door in Amity's room. Hooty, the house demon with the physiology of an owl, who watches over Eda Clawthorne, King, and Luz, shoots up from the ground and enthusiastically calls out to Emira. "HI-YA, BLIGHT SISTER!," he says in his signature high-pitched, shrill yet jovial voice, as if a cartoon animal from the 1930s has been fed a gratuitous amount of candy and spun around inside a dryer.

Hooty has the uncanny ability to stretch and retract his body over long distances and open his mouth wide, similar to a snake. This explains how he was able to reach Blight Manor from the door he's attached to, unless he has detached himself from his door and connected himself somewhere else, an act which has disgusted and disturbed his housemates.

In one swift motion, Hooty then opens up his mouth, darting straight for Amity before she has a moment to respond, and swallows her whole. Amity struggles visibly, yelling "Ugh, HOOTY!!!" muffled, and after a few seconds, stops moving within Hooty's belly, Emira shrieking in horror and disbelief, hoping and praying to the Titan that her sister isn't truly dead yet.

Belching loudly, Hooty then tells Emira "Mind if I borrow Amity for a bit? She'll be alright. In fact, she'll be better when this works out, I promise." Em nods in agreement, hands covering her mouth, too horrified to speak, unaware of Hooty's ability to regurgitate anything it swallows, living or dead.

Hooty then slithers backward towards the owl house, with a noticeable bulge in his serpentine midsection where Amity is, currently.

This has gotta work. I've failed King and Eda. I can't let Luz down as well, Hooty thinks to himself on his way back. Little does he know, things turned out better than expected for both parties mentioned.

All within the span of less than an hour, Hooty makes his way to the house's basement, then regurgitates a sizeable owl pellet large enough to envelop Amity's entire unconscious body. He then hocks up a typewriter and several small sheets of paper. He places one of them on the machine, then types, pecking each key with his beak:

As we stumble through life, gloom knows no bounds. You'll only find love when you're in the ground.

Hooty pauses, realizing how morbid that sounds. He flips the note over, then adds:

P.S. I mean the basement! Love, HOOTY

He types one more note, then speeds up to Luz's bedroom, leaves the first note on the floor, and knocks on her door, overhearing Luz gush about her desire to ask Amity out while fearing possible rejection, worrying she might find her too cheesy. He then disappears back into the basement, adding the finishing touches to his grand scheme to get the two lovebirds together…

#the owl house #toh #lumity #amity blight #luz noceda #emira blight #hooty #hooty toh #toh disney #toh fanfic #fanfic #the owl house fanfiction #the owl house s2 #toh s2 #lumity fanfiction #lumity fanfic

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