#i cannot believe it was inadvertent

[royalthorned]

let us all never forget that barty over explaining the imperious curse inadvertently helped harry resist it

[writedisaster]

just my beloved and i, making affiliated OCs that would make you go "um. okay?"

[fryingthoughts]

Me when. Me when my ttrpg pc gets possessed because my friend couldn't accept the STALKER GHOST over getting her boyfriend banished to the fucking SPIRIT REALM!!!

[lilliangst]

biblically accurate, semi-realistic candace or kandake, who was a nubian queen

image renders:

Incoming yap about the current genshin problem:

As a Chinese person swarmed by western media, Liyue means so, so much to me. Seeing the culture that I've been taught to be ashamed of all my life being represented so accurately and positively makes me incredibly happy. It was the first time I saw the famous landscapes that I've visited in person and recreated a fantasy game. Seeing characters wear clothes with similar designs to what I’ve worn and eating similar foods to what I’ve eaten, is indescribable. The euphoria I felt when I first climbed atop of Qingyun Peak and heard the music is something I wish I could experience again.

That being said, Sumeru was a mess, and Natlan is just depressing. What I would give to have people from SEA/SWANA, Latin America, Africa, and Indigenous groups etc. to feel the same way I did when strolling through Liyue.

HYV’s colorism isn’t just stifling their character designs; by whitewashing real-life people, real cultures and even their deities, they are inadvertently whitewashing history. They are taking from actual ethnic groups: learning their history and struggles, then retelling these narratives after replacing their people with bleached protagonists in orientalist clothing.

All this because of what? Out of touch beauty standards? The possibility of lower sales? Dehya is extremely loved in China and her fans donated thousands to a children’s charity in her name. Other Chinese companies like Lilith Games and Bluepoch don’t have this problem. Dislyte is able to consistently pump out gorgeous character designs with varying skin tones and Reverse:1999 makes accurate designs and does in-depth research into the cultures of their characters.

It’s a basic lack of respect.

I've heard that Iranian players were extremely happy and touched by their representation, and that's amazing. And most European, Chinese, and Japanese players are fine with theirs. I just wish this extended to the representation of people with skin tones that are darker.

HYV has shown that they are capable of making characters with darker skin tones and interesting designs, but they will only do that for npcs and enemies. Orientalism, culture mash-ups and inaccuracies across regions is unfortunately common in the game, but the problem with the unchanging pale color of playable characters reflects an obvious and sinister bigotry. I do personally believe that a lot of this has to do with the meddling of higher-ups; many playable characters look like they’ve been white-washed at the end of the process, and just from an art/design standpoint, they fit darker skin-tones much, much better.

It is impossible for Genshin to be a fully “fictional fantasy game” because they chose to bear the responsibility of incorporating real life cultures into their world-building. The criticisms about Sumeru and Natlan are what they brought upon themselves. If you don’t want to represent properly, don’t do it at all. You cannot take everything from a culture and leave their people out of it. They deserve the same respect and research as the region representing your own nation.

For the people who have seen themselves represented in media over and over again, or for those who do not care about being represented at all: even if YOU don't care, others do, and they have a damn good reason for it. This is a big deal, it isn’t too much to ask for, and I will be blocking racists. Peace.

[moonstruckme]

i cannot stop thinking about oblivious reader and remus where she’s talking about how she’s never been with anyone before bc no one likes her so remus is like i like you!! but she’s like haha ok yeah bc we are friends!! and he has to be like no i like you but she just thinks he’s taking piss but he’s actually being real with her i’m so 🤧

Thanks for requesting :)

cw: mention of alcohol

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 870 words

“Ugh, they’re disgusting.” You take a sip of your drink, looking at James and Lily over the rim of your cup. Lily’s eating an ice cream sandwich she’d found in Sirius’ freezer, offering James bites while he traces lines between her freckles with his pinkie. “I want to be them so badly.” 

Remus hums. It’s the tail end of one of Sirius’ parties (or his soirees, as he insists upon calling them), and the atmosphere is heavy with a pleasant lethargy. The music is still playing from his record player, some slowish, bass-heavy rock, but most everyone has cleared out, and Sirius himself has fallen asleep on the opposite side of the couch from Lily and James, his mouth hanging open. 

“I wonder what it’s like to be in love,” you sigh. Remus turns to you, catching the longing in your look just before you hide it away. 

“You’ve never been in love?” he asks you. 

You give him a funny look. “No.” You shrug. “I’ve never dated anyone before.” 

Remus hadn’t known that. He has to remind himself, again, that he doesn’t know all that much about you. You’re new to their little group, a coworker of Lily’s that she’d started bringing around recently. Remus doesn’t know you very well, but he’s found the learning process surprisingly enjoyable. He likes being around you. 

“How’s that?” It slips out before he can think it through, brash and unlike him. He backpedals immediately. “Sorry, that was rude, I only meant that I’m a bit surprised. You don’t have to answer.” 

“No, it’s okay.” You give him a smile, infinite in your benevolence. “People just don’t seem to think of me that way. No one’s ever liked me.” 

You sound so casual about it, but Remus can’t help but think that must not be a nice way to think of yourself. He’s sure you’ve been considered romantically by plenty of people, even if they never had the guts to tell you about it. You’re lovely. You deserve to know it. 

He musters his courage. “I like you.” 

You laugh, and he thinks Sirius is going to have to mop his self-esteem up off the floor tomorrow morning as part of his party cleanup. 

“Thanks,” you say, “but you don’t count.” 

 Why the hell not?

“I mean, I’m glad you don’t mind me,” you go on, taking another sip of your drink, “but it’s different when you’re friends. I meant that nobody’s ever liked me, like, romantically.” 

You go a bit shy at the last word, self-consciousness pulling your shoulders almost imperceptibly upwards. Remus forgives your oversight instantly. 

“Do you really think it’s so unlikely that anyone could like you romantically?” he asks, refusing to lower his gaze even when you shrink a bit at the question. “You’re a catch, love, trust me.” 

You shake your head and smile, frustratingly good-natured. “Easy for you to say, you don’t have to date me.”

“Have to?” Remus’ voice rises incredulously. He glances towards James and Lily on the couch, lowering it. “I would love to.” 

“Ha ha,” you monotone, rolling your eyes and raising your cup to your lips. 

He can’t believe you think he’d joke about this. He can’t figure out what’s more cruel, the way you keep inadvertently shooting him down or the fact that you seem so heart-wrenchingly prepared to be made fun of. “I mean it.” Remus lets his voice drop into a more genuine register, and something in your look softens. “I would date you. I want to, if you do. You’re far from impossible to like.” 

Your lips actually part in surprise. “Seriously?” 

“Yeah, I…” He looks over at the couch, but James and Lily are effectively as dead to the world as Sirius, and at the volume you’re both speaking he doubts they’d be able to hear you over the music anyway. “I think you’re really lovely. I’ve been meaning to do something about it, I just…I didn’t know how. But would you want to?”

“To go on a date?” you ask, looking a bit dazed. Remus smiles, but before he can confirm you laugh at yourself, the sound rich and sweet as dark chocolate. “Sorry, that might be a stupid question. I haven’t done this before.” 

“I can’t believe that.” He shakes his head, astounded. For a girl like you to never get asked out? Well, it makes things a bit easier for him, jealousy-wise, but objectively it’s criminal. Remus supposes he’ll have to make up for it himself. “But yeah, I’d like to go on a date.” 

You nod, smile sticking on your face. “Me too. I’d like that.”

“Good,” he says, finding that your smile seems to have stuck to him too. “Tomorrow, maybe? We could go for coffee.” He looks out the window behind you, where a faint line of gold on the horizon shows promise of sunrise. “I think we’ll both be needing it.” 

You laugh again. Remus decides that he likes it better than any song Sirius has played all night. “That sounds perfect. Thank you, Remus.” 

He’s not sure what you’re thanking him for. He’s the one who gets to take you to coffee tomorrow. He ought to be thanking you.

[oozedninjas]

HARD CRUSH!

How different are Leo and Raph when they're in love?

Sfw + Nsfw / MDIN / +18 / Leo's 27, Raph's 26 / Thought for 2007, but I think it adapts cool to other verses.

------

LEO

Every nuance of you doesn't escape his notice. He's the embodiment of observance, attentively absorbing every facet of your being. Your desires, dreams, beliefs, and thoughts, he listens to them all with keen interest.

The dilemma lies in his passive approach; he remains restrained in expressing his crush, riddled with self-doubt over jeopardizing your friendship. Still, there's a flicker of affection in the form of occasional winks, suggestive smirks, and inadvertent casual touches. It's as if these actions were mere happenstance.

When envisioning a relationship, Leo's thoughts teem with romance.

He's a daydreamer, imagining tender cuddles, soft kisses, and focusing on the intricate sensation of your lips meeting. He knows he'd excel as a boyfriend, ever ready to shower you with unwavering devotion.

Leo envisions a love that could cocoon you, enveloping you within his arms in the warmest embrace. But he restrains from confessing his emotions.

He believes you merit someone who can stand by you in daylight, attend family gatherings, join in celebrating birthdays, and accompany you through life's milestones.

Voicing his feelings, he fears, would convolute matters further, and complexities are the last thing he needs.

And during the nighttime, when those exhilarating thoughts begin to weave through Leo's mind, he cannot prevent the fantasies from taking shape.

He envisions whether you'd be quiet or loud if you'd squirm, let out soft moans if you'd want him to be above you, or taste you up.

Leo can't quite look at you the following morning.

RAPH

Raphael takes a more tangible route.

His attention homes in on your mouth, your laughter, your entire physique. He's an expert at deciphering body language, knowing precisely when and how to bridge the gap.

Wit flows effortlessly from him, each word carefully crafted to elicit your laughter.

Raph dedicates himself to crafting moments that resonate, subtly weaving a tapestry where you'd naturally seek his company.

It's a smokescreen for the torrent of affection he harbors. Just like Leo, the dread of risking your friendship hampers him from taking the leap. Besides, he's acutely aware of what he is: a sewer-dwelling turtle with little to offer beyond nocturnal escapes and thwarting villains.

He's not supposed to yearn for you to this extent. The priority should be what you rightfully deserve, yet whenever you smile at him as if he's the only one in the room, makes it more than impossible.

Soon, your scent becomes a dangerous feature, stirring something primal within him, a voice that insists he should claim you. Mark you up, keep you all to himself.

Fuck, it would be so good to feel your breath upon his lips as you whimper, pleading. Your nails scratching the edges of his shell as he buries himself deeper in you.

And Raphael loses sleep as he stares at the ceiling, imagining you're his. His to touch, his to kiss, his to protect.

[aashiqeddiediaz]

you know, after watching day 3 of the democratic national convention, i need to say something, especially to other muslims like me.

most of the muslim communities that i'm a part of have chosen to vote uncommitted, or independent, or sometimes, even trump. they refuse to give their vote to kamala harris and tim walz, because of the way the us has handled the war in gaza, and how they have been careless with acknowledging palestinian lives lost, how it was american bombs and american tax money that went towards funding this genocide. it's fucked up, and it's wrong, and there shouldn't be any debate on that.

and i am 100% in support of that anger. i am 100% in support of forcing america to stop funding this genocide. no one wants to keep seeing palestinian lives suffer. no one is free until we're all free, and i believe that to my very core.

my only concern is that where this anger is being placed, from 1 year to 11 weeks before the presidential election, is so scary. because the reality of the situation is that america has a bipartisan outlook. whoever gets the presidency is either democrat or republican. and every vote that doesn't go towards democracy (i.e. voting for kamala harris) inadvertently goes towards trump's big plan of project 2025, which is basically dictatorship. Even voting uncommitted, even voting independent. we cannot afford to elect trump for a second term, and voting anything other than democrat draws that line way too close, especially in swing states like michigan, pennsylvania, wisconsin, georgia.

yes, there are many issues that we wish joe biden would handle better. there are many ways that the democratic party has fucked up beyond repair. there are many ways the democratic party has refused to acknowledge the pain of people affected by their military people throughout the years, and we've been seeing it for years. this is not a new thing. this did not start on october 7th. we see it during pretty much every administration.

however, voting for your candidate should never be based on a singular issue. no political candidate is ever going to check every single box. and its so unfortunate that we have to always take the "lesser of two evils" approach when nominating our president, but that's the reality of the situation at this very moment. there are many other rights to be considered that are at stake this election, all of which trump is trying to remove. abortion bans, women's rights, healthcare, social security, climate change, to name a few.

(and, somehow, there's a belief that trump will lead to a ceasefire deal where biden-harris didn't? let me tell you that is never going to happen.)

does this mean we just stop protesting or pressuring? absolutely not. you NEVER stop, because if our votes are the ones that put the candidate in their position of power, then we expect results. we expect them to work towards what they promised. and we can't let up on reaching out to our local county offices and our state governors and escalating these issues further until someone takes notice and does something about them. we don't elect them and just leave them to do what they want. we keep them accountable. use that anger i was talking about.

but it also means not having tunnel vision. the election in november could very well mean the end of democracy if kamala harris doesn't win. this post is not me all giggly-happy over the democratic party, because trust me, i have my fair share of issues with them as well. this post isn't to tell you what to do, because i can't force you to vote blue. i can't force the community i'm in to change their minds about toss-up votes. but what i can do is put down plainly what's at stake this election. and that is, very simply, our right to choose everything.

so if you are eligible to vote and haven't registered, please do. if you haven't voted before because "what's the point", please see above what the point is. a handful of votes is enough to flip the outcome of an election, especially with the electoral college.

and if you're still on the fence on whether to vote for kamala or trump, hopefully this post gives a little bit more perspective in the most streamlined way i could manage without bogging you down with statistics and numbers.

the choice is yours.

[amphiaria]

hi. will you write five paragraphs about the vagina button.

okay fine. warning this is going to be me reaching and thinking way deeper about the subject than clamp ever did.

the answer to "chobits why are you like this" is because society is saturated in sex.

I think that the CSA argument is unkind because chii/elda and freya are not children, not really. they also aren't really adults. they're not mammals at all. they don't age. they're machines. they were constructed to fill a role within a nuclear family to which neither of them was especially suited. they were designed to simulate the human experience as closely as any constructed creature in history ever had, which (perhaps inadvertently) included the desire for romantic love. his "daughter" falling desperately in love with him was not something that her creator could have anticipated. these were two brand new beings, the very first of their kind, and they were introduced into a society with power dynamics and taboos that were frankly not suited to the kind of creatures that they are. subsequently the desire for romantic love that freya felt for her creator drove her so insane that she more or less committed suicide over it.

I think the CSA argument is inaccurate because genitalia are not inherently sexual. secondary sexual characteristics are not inherently sexual. sexuality is something that is unavoidably imposed by force upon these characteristics. it is a very common source of trauma for developing children to have gained characteristics that are suddenly perceived by their surrounding society as sexual. do I think that persocoms in general were designed specifically to be fucked safely? it's possible. society is saturated in sex, and people are going to fuck anything that they put their minds to. do I think the chobits, elda and freya, were designed with this purpose in mind? not necessarily. if you were going to design a human woman that is as close to an organic creature as possible, why would you omit these characteristics? why would you assume nefarious intent in their inclusion?

chii/elda enters the story as a complete outsider to the sexual undercurrents of society. she has no conception of the sexually charged nature of undergarments, feels absolutely no shame in nudity or in revealing clothing, is ignorant of what the people in hideki's dirty magazines are doing, doesn't get the innuendo in the natto/batter panels, and is exploited by men manipulating her body over and over again for their own purposes at various points in the story. there is no indication in the text that chii is capable of feeling sexual desire (there is no indication that persocoms do in general). as a general rule, sexuality is something that is outside of her, and imposed upon her.

from a watsonian standpoint, I don't think there is a good argument for why the everloving fuck mihara would ever have put chii/elda's reset button in her vagina. from a doylist standpoint, what I believe clamp is trying to ask is this: in a society that is obsessed with sex, that is unable to stop talking about and thinking about sex, that is unable to stop imposing sexuality upon even objects that are arguably fundamentally incapable of experiencing desire or reciprocating in any way, is a relationship with somebody with whom you cannot consummate this kind of relationship worth it? is romantic love? the story wants to say that it is. it can be read as an asexual narrative - a relationship with chii is worth pursuing even if she is incapable of providing the one thing that society says all relationships must be for. there is nothing broken about her or wrong with her the way that she is. she is not lesser because hideki cannot have sex with her, and that he is written to be a sex-obsessed pervert is intended to make this decision deeper. she does not need to change who she is and he shouldn't try to change her. it fumbles the bag really hard on this. it's not well-written. but I see the bones of it. the message is there even if it's mishandled.

anyway umineko did this better. read umineko as a chaser btw.

[vir-tanadahl]

[DAV Spoilers] My Thoughts on Solas

Look, I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but these are just my thoughts. Take what resonates with you, and feel free to leave behind what doesn’t.

Under the cut, because spoilers!

I don’t think Solas was acting OOC.

TDLR: We are dealing with the Dread Wolf for most of DAV, not Solas.

This is not the Solas we know from DAI. In DAI, Solas concealed his identity as the Dread Wolf, embodying a part of himself from before he fully assumed that role. Now, however, he has fully embraced the mantle of the Dread Wolf.

 2. The comment about hating blood magic? It was a lie. Solas knows that, in this world, blood magic is despised and viewed as evil. The truth is, he sees it as a tool—both in DAI and in DAV. He lied to the Rook, manipulating his words to earn their trust.

3. I don’t think he intended to kill Varric—I think it was an accident; if that were his goal, he would have done it long before. If you slow down the cinematic, you can see him lower his head, a gesture of shame. But then again, this is the same man who killed Felassan. It is still shitty that it happened though.

4. Solas doesn’t trust the Rook, and he isn’t going to be as open with them as he was with the Inquisitor. Unlike the mentorship he offered the Inquisitor, Solas sees the Rook purely as a tool. He will never confide in them about his feelings for the Inquisitor, whether as a friend or a lost love. This time, he’s a tactician, a strategist—cold, calculating, and entirely focused on his goals. In my opinion, if Solas were to confide in the Rook, it would feel out of character. They haven’t developed that level of trust, so in my opinion, it would come across as fan service. 

5. I don’t believe Solas and Mythal had a romantic relationship. Although Mythal called him ‘love,’ the evidence in DAI suggests it was more likely reverence than romance. As Brené Brown describes, reverence—a deeper form of admiration or respect—is often rooted in a profound connection to something greater than ourselves, encompassing adoration, worship, or veneration.

6. It’s possible that Solas was bound by a geas, which would explain his intense reaction if the Inquisitor drank from the Well of Sorrows. This could also be why Mythal remains central to his story. He tells both the Rook and the Inquisitor that he cannot stop—not that he won’t, but that he cannot. Perhaps, before her death, Mythal commanded him to avenge her, binding him to her will and compelling him forward.

Update to 6: However, if it wasn’t a geas, then it speaks volumes about Solas, his choices, and the theme of regret that runs through DAV. Honestly, I hope it wasn’t a geas, because that would highlight his fallibility, showing just how far he’s gone and the struggle he faces in trying to reconcile (and failing) with those choices. It would also explain why he feels bound by his actions, believing he cannot turn back and why Mythal remained central to his story because he came into this world for her and he "failed" her. By releasing him from her service, Mythal allows him to see that his path wasn’t shaped solely by his own choices. He’s been carrying the weight not only of his decisions but of hers as well—and he isn’t responsible for her choices. Mythal had to be the one to make him understand that.

7. Solas's wisdom has twisted into pride. He's fixated on erasing the mistake he believes he made, on fixing what he thinks he broke. But this pride blinds him to the beauty of the world he inadvertently created. If his wisdom had remained pure, he might have seen that this new world, born of his error, holds its own beauty—and that not every mistake needs to be undone. It feels like Solas embodies Wisdom, while the Dread Wolf represents Pride.

8. Solas does care about people, but his wisdom has twisted into pride. The Dread Wolf, however, leads him to view their deaths as necessary sacrifices—a means to an end

9. Solas/The Dread Wolf created a prison that even the gods could not escape it—because escape would mean confronting the pain they caused and accepting any regrets tied to their choices. The gods refused to do this, seeing their actions as justified. Solas, too, remained bound, unable to face his own regrets and the pain he caused, needing to believe there was purpose in them. He is shocked when the Rook escapes, as he doesn’t believe (or literally just cannot accept this due to being under a geas) anyone can truly accept their regrets and move forward.

10. The Dread Wolf using spirits of chaos—and other similar entities—as tools in his war makes sense. He chose spirits that wouldn’t be corrupted by the task, a calculated and strategic move, even if it’s ultimately a morally questionable one.

IDK take it or leave it.

UPDATE:

I also believe that the essence of Mythal, which released him from her service, ‘died’ after freeing him. The essence he carefully preserved could only watch and observe the world, as Mythal herself stated she couldn’t exist outside the Fade. I think Solas knew that. This fragment of Mythal, the one he knew, who just released him from her service no longer exists anymore.

[kaeichi]

love is in the air.

. . . and maybe that's why mikage reo can view the world with such clouded, pink-hued vision, and why nagi seishiro cannot breathe at all.

series. nagi + reader + reo. gn! reader. reader likes guys. bestfriend! nagi. valentines/white day. highschool setting. swearing. humor. fluff & angst.

prev ┊ next ┊ 01 … 02 … 03

⊹ 02 : radiant [wc: 4.6k]

TWO YEARS AGO

“ah…found you, finally.” 

nagi huffs out, slightly out of breath as he leans against the railing of the staircase on the fourth floor. what a damn hassle, making him expend such excessive effort like this—it all could've been easily prevented if you just replied to his text asking you about his whereabouts. he figures your phone must've died, because there's no way you wouldn't have noticed his 7 texts of wya? in a row.

“been tryin’ to look everywhere f’you. next time, can you just tell…” he trails off once he steps closer and realizes you're not alone.

“seriously? him again?” your boyfriend len scowls, directing his caustic gaze at the topic of interest, who has conveniently decided to show up at the right moment.

except nothing about this is right at all. 

there's no good explanation as to why you feel your heart plummet. your best friend, your only trusted companion whose mere presence incites a familiar sense of comfort and an effortless, breezy smile from you; when you're with him, you don’t have to think much about the reasoning behind why he has that sort of ability, or why it feels like you're right at home whenever you're with him.

you just somehow know. and that's how it has always been.

being with nagi is supposed to be easy, calming, and freeing, even—so why is there a heavy pressure weighing down on you all of a sudden? despite everything, why has he suddenly become the last person you want to see right now?

“seishiro?” apprehensively, you ask, “what are you doing here?”

“i just came to get you. like usual.” while there's nothing wrong with what nagi says, you still inadvertently wince, hesitating to meet either male's eyes as an unpleasant feeling brews in your gut.

“yeah, but i told you i was gonna be with my boyfriend…”

here’s the thing: it's not like nagi doesn't know you have one. 

when you first told him about it, he thought it was a joke (a hilarious one, at that). he thought it might've been one of your delusions again, and in typical nagi seishiro fashion he only spared you a fleeting glance with heavy-lidded eyes and a congratulations, i guess in the most listless tone. and when you told him to go on ahead because you wouldn't walk home with him today, he failed to take it seriously once more, thinking it was one of your weird ‘loyalty pranks’ to see if he would actually go and leave you behind.

but when he didn't feel the usual tug on his shoulder, or your arm resting against the top of his dozing head to wake him up at the end of the class, he thought there was something slightly off. when he looked around and saw no trace of you around the classroom or even around the front of the school, he thought there was something really wrong.

nagi’s starting to find this stupid joke less and less funny.

could all of the previous days (or has it already been weeks?) you’ve been talking about this mysterious nobody be true? he should’ve paid more attention. so, yes—it's not like he doesn't know you have one, he just had a rather hard time believing it (though he doesn't know it's due to the fact that you are you, or because maybe he's just in denial about it).

what annoying, annoying jest. when did this so-called “relationship” even have the time to blossom? 

“oh…did you?” the white-haired male’s voice doesn't come out as smooth as he’d like. he scratches his neck, feeling it a bit clogged for whatever reason. he's glad he's not the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, because even if his voice betrays him, he can at least keep his expression neutral. “well, i’m here now, and i don't wanna walk home alone. i kinda forgot the way back, so i need your help—”

“seishiro!” you hiss, your voice clipped and bordering on desperate; a warning, one that goes right over nagi’s head.

“you know what?” a peeved voice cuts in—len’s, whose patience has worn thin. he has had enough of nagi demanding your attention that was supposed to be reserved for him. if you can’t even keep your eyes solely on your boyfriend, then you might as well be a good-for-nothing cheat. “forget this. i don’t think we’d ever work out if this continues.”

“w-what? wait, huh?” as your face crumbles, nagi is unable to grasp why he feels a faint throb in his chest at the sight. “let's talk about thi—”

“right, let's talk about it, hm?” when you finally meet len’s eyes, you’re barely able to recognize your boyfriend at this point, his taunting sneer morphing his face into someone completely different. is this really the kind, alluring lover that you fell for? “be with me, or cut off this… this nagi kid?”

“what? where did this come from? you can't just suddenly make me choose—”

“and there's your answer.” he scoffs, slapping your hand away that's unconsciously reaching out to him before turning around to leave. in a few rigid strides, he's gone, and you're left staring blankly at the space where he just was.

it is nagi who breaks the silence after a few moments. “…guess this wasn't a good time, huh?” nagi sighs, gripping the strap of his backpack tighter as you remain frozen. “well, at least we can go home now.”

“nagi.”

confusion clouding all over his face, he slightly perks up at your somber tone, a hint of unease setting in his stomach. he doesn't like whatever this is that he's suddenly feeling. “why’re you calling me nagi?”

“i think you know why. leave me alone, nagi.”

for quite some time after, those words remain the last thing you've said to him.

nagi has always been somewhat aware of his inability to comprehend feelings, whether it be his own or of others, but this time is the first time he's ever bothered by his lack of aptitude; the first time he's ever felt this swirl of foreign emotions engulf him, of strange, unknown sensations rushing to him all at once. what started as a mere bud sprouting along the expanse of his lungs, grew double—no, triple in size within a matter of days, poking and squeezing the spongy organ until its function proved near useless. 

the abundance of petals produced by these excrescences is nothing but a nuisance, blocking his airways and tainting his tongue with the bitter, awful taste of decay, which only seems to get worse with each passing week without a word from you. it's a pain, it's majorly vexing, it's—

“leave me alone, nagi.”

—it's suffocating.

PRESENT

nagi still refuses to join the soccer team.

in the hallways, reo somehow manages to always find you and your companion throughout the day, greeting the both of you with unmatched enthusiasm—the kind that someone really shouldn't have at seven o’clock in the morning. everytime that happens, reo is only met with the same, vacant stare, accompanied with a blunt no without much thought.

after all, he's not the only one who came to recruit the white-haired genius. the volleyball, basketball, and softball clubs (even the cheerleading team, for some reason?) have all tried, to which he instantly shut down.

“why would i participate in sports? even walking is tiring to me,” is his simple reasoning every single time, without fail.

at some point, reo tries to bribe him with a brand new gaming console as a “customary gift”. not that there's anything customary about that, but you suppose rich people live in a different world than you common folks do (when you found out that reo arrives to school in a goddamn limousine, you've lost all interest in being more than acquaintances with someone as absurd as that).

however, that is when reo finally manages to elicit a reaction from nagi, a slight sheen in his eyes that made you immediately panic, dragging him away before he gives in and telling him accepting anything from mikage? i think the fuck not! (“why not?” “because we don’t want to get in debt by someone like him!” “oh, we don’t?” “yes, dummy! next thing you know, we keep ‘borrowing’ money from him and eventually when we can't pay it back, he ships us off to some remote island and makes us his slaves for the rest of our lives because we couldn't afford our debt!” “you watch too much horror movies, i think.”)

however, as irritating as one’s persistence could be, deep down you hope nagi accepts reo’s invite. you've always known about his underutilized potential, and how he himself is the only thing that's holding him back.

truly, a waste that is.

“i know that rich boy’s been really annoying about it, but why don't you try it out? even just for a little bit?” you ask nagi, having stayed behind during lunch in your classroom instead of heading to the crowded school cafeteria.

“don't wanna,” he mutters against his arms, head buried against the desk.

“why not? our teacher’s been hounding you for not being in a club, right?”

“i’ll just join the book club or something. now go away,” he says, probably trying to catch up on much needed rest, despite already sleeping through your morning classes.

“you slacker. just try it out so mikage stops bothering me too.”

nagi suddenly lifts his head up. “he’s bothering you?”

leaning your elbow on the desk nagi’s lying down on, you press your cheek against your palm as you snicker at his sudden mood change. “mhm. won't you save me, your one and only best friend? the one you swore to protect until the world collapses? me, an innocent, pure ethereal being who's cruelly subjected to harassment and—” 

he breathes out a long exhale. you brace yourself, racking your brain as you try to think of more ways to persuade him (without including the promise of reo’s “prize” or whatever suspicious deals you're sure the heir is involved with). 

however, in nagi’s perspective, it's not because he needed any more convincing, but because he can't believe he's actually willingly to participate in something so bothersome for someone's sake. “…fine.”

“wait, actually?! for real?” with your eyes nearly popping out of their sockets, nagi almost snorts at your ridiculousness. almost.

“you're the one who kept telling me to go for it, so why’re ya surprised?” 

his sleepy voice gets drowned out by your excited chattering. “wow, nagi seishiro is actually interested in something else other than napping and gaming? no way! noooo way!”

“it's annoying, but yeah.” he grimaces, regret already sinking in—but since he's doing it for you, he supposes it's alright. just this once, he can make an exception. “…you're coming with me, right?”

a pause. “um… no? unless you want me to be the token benchwarmer?”

“ah, fair.”

“yeah, yeah. besides, i’m already in debate club, so me joining you is out of the question.”

“not even as our manager?”

“nope.”

nagi visibly sulks, lips forming into his signature pout. cute. it almost looks like he's at a loss of what to do without you—maybe it’s a result of you and him being stuck together at the hip since middle school, and how he's grown dependent on you due to his lazy nature, but you're sure he'll survive on his own.

…probably.

“i’ll come watch your games though,” you quickly add in case he backtracks on his word, reaching over the desk and tousling his hair, messing it up even more. he doesn't complain like how he usually would, merely blinking his wide gray eyes at you. “i mean, what kind of best friend would i be if i didn't support you?”

that seems enough for nagi. he straightens up, a hand running through his now disheveled white locks, peering at you with a newfound motivation. “better keep your eyes on me, ‘kay?”

you grin, nodding. “duh. goes without saying, loser.”

sometime after that, reo, nagi, and yourself have now fallen into some sort of routine: nagi now has practice on thursdays and fridays after school, but sometimes reo swings by unexpectedly during lunch on those days to discuss with nagi what their training plans would be after school (unable to wait until the end of the day, apparently). not that nagi actually listens, but he has come to a realization that it’d be too much work if he were to refuse him, so he just lets him do whatever he wants.

would it be foolish to think that reo would let up once he’s gotten what he wanted? if anything, his apparent interest grows even more, which only encourages the rumors that are recently circulating about you. girls still glare at you in jealousy, while guys sneak judgmental glances at you, but reo manages to clear up any misunderstandings using his natural charm and influence, so you're fine for the most part. how thoughtful. well, it's his fault in the first place anyway. 

for some reason, you see him a lot more often than necessary.

…like right now, for instance.

when a flash of purple appears in your peripherals, you turn, met with the sight of reo’s handsome figure hovering by the doorway. the tall male is hanging rather stiffly in the middle of the entrance, as if unable to decide whether to come inside or not.

“mikage?” you decide to call him out. “what are you doing here?”

he flinches, akin to a deer in headlights. what's up with that reaction? is he not supposed to be here or…? “huh? well, i’m here for nagi, of course.”

“right.” you nod curtly. it's monday today; they don't even have practice until the next few days.

but even then, reo has picked the worst time to drop by, because nagi isn't even at school today. (surprise, surprise—he slept in. again.) just as you are about to bring that up, reo casually ambles over and pulls a seat back, sitting across you with a sheepish smile on his face.

by now, you've grown familiar with the scent of his cologne wafting in the air whenever he's nearby. it's a delicate yet expensive scent, fresh and woody, like musk with hints of apples and mint. a vast difference from nagi’s, whose smell is more down-to-earth, like fresh laundry and the breeze of early mornings.

other than the questioning glance you offer him, nothing happens for a few moments. reo opens his mouth as if to say something, but when nothing comes out, he reverts back to pursed lips and skittish glimpses. it's off-putting how he seems to struggle with striking up a conversation for once—you start to feel a bit awkward about the stretched silence, so you just shrug and continue eating from your bento. as long as he's not bothering you too much, you don't actually mind his company.

“want some?” noticing how you're the only one eating lunch, you absentmindedly bring up the chopsticks close to his mouth, urging him to take a bite out of your tamagoyaki.

that seems to finally snap reo out of his inner strife, his violet eyes widening as they flicker between you and the food, “y-you're feeding me…?” 

ah, crap—you’re so used to feeding nagi that you didn't even think twice before bringing the neatly rolled omelette to his lips. before you can retract your hand though, reo quickly composes himself, enclosing his fingers on your forearm to prevent you from moving away. “okay, i guess,” he mutters shyly before taking a bite.

a slight relief fills you as you watch him accept your offer, though that quickly turns into nervousness. “well? how was it?” you ask, observing the purple-haired male chewing carefully with a finger on his chin.

“did you cook this?” reo returns with a question of his own, peering at you through his lashes.

“you didn’t answer my question…”

“hm. did you?”

“what, is my cooking not good enough for the great master mikage reo’s superior taste buds?” you roll your eyes, feigning nonchalance as your face warms at the fact that he's deliberately avoiding your questions. you half-expect him to spit out the food; now that you think about it, surely he wouldn't enjoy eating something so bland and second-rate—

“hmm, not sure. i might need another bite to fully understand the flavors.”

you blink dumbly at reo’s coyness. well, he doesn't seem to outright hate it, so that's better than you are initially expecting. when you push the bento closer to him, he only stares at you expectantly, as if waiting for something. you stare right back, muttering, “what is it?” 

“uh…actually, i broke both of my hands. and my fingers too. all ten of them.” reo blurts out, simultaneously hiding his hands away from your view.

…what.

this is the second time you're at a loss for words because of reo. perplexed, you lean in, trying to take a peek behind his back. “your fingers seemed perfectly fine when you grabbed my arm.”

“well, a lot can happen in two seconds.”

“like…?”

“spontaneous functional impairment?”

i’ll show you a spontaneous functional impairment, you grumble under your breath. “i am not your maid.”

reo tilts his head to side, warmth radiating from the innocent smile plastered on his face. it's the same one he usually wears, the kind that makes one weak in the knees—one that you're fortunately immune to. 

(at least you think so, anyway.)

“…if i paid you, would you be more inclined?”

“piss off, mikage.”

reo chuckles, airy and soft, and you find it disturbing how a mere sound can easily disarm your guard. that's just the kind of person he is, you guess, barely even having to try yet the influence he holds over anyone (regrettably including you, to a certain degree) is undeniable. you ponder why someone like him is even here in the first place; doesn't he have more important stuff to do?

“kidding, i'm kidding! it's delicious.”

but when he assures you and you watch as his eyes crinkle with amusement, you decide not to sweat the little details. he continues, “i mean it. i’d love to have more, if you're willing, of course.”

since hakuho high is a college prep school, your school’s soccer team is weak compared to the others, not to mention fairly new, established only recently by reo himself (thus making him captain, as if he couldn't be any more popular). it hasn't garnered much attention from its students—but since this is the first official match against another school, a pretty sizable crowd has filled the bleachers that friday afternoon, excitement and anticipation buzzing in the air.

on the way to the bleachers, you catch sight of your friend and his teammates warming up while the coach gathers them to hold his final group meeting prior to the game, most of them stretching their legs and some basking under the sunshine (and by some, you mean only nagi).

after the coach finishes saying his speech to the team, reo claps his hand against nagi’s back, making the latter wince. reo just hooks his arm around nagi’s shoulder, and you see his mouth moving and gesturing towards the direction of the bleachers when his purple eyes suddenly fall on you. sending reo a small wave, he waves back at you, albeit with more enthusiasm—which also made the girls surrounding you shriek. ah, right. you briefly think that you should start acting like you don’t know him in public, on the off chance that a crazed fan of his comes for your throat just for being involved with him.

nagi glances where reo’s line of sight is. you wave at him as well when your eyes meet, expecting him to just send one back in acknowledgment, but instead he starts jogging towards you. “you made it,” he breathes out once he's within earshot. 

“i said i’d watch your game, right?” you playfully jab him on the arm, observing how his legs look way more toned than you’ve last seen. has he always been this fit? seems like all that training he begrudgingly went through has paid off. “lookin’ fresh in uniform, seishiro. sorry i couldn't make it to any practices though, i couldn't ditch my own club.”

nagi shrugs, feeling content since you still made it. he reaches into his pocket, fishing out his beloved device and handing it to you. “can you keep my phone with you? i forgot i had it in my pocket.”

after nagi gets back to his team, you end up sitting on the third row of the bleachers as you wait for the game to begin. you fiddle with the charm on his phone. he still has it attached (you make a mental note to ask him about it again later), and you notice how some of the colors of the black beads have faded. a cursory thought passes, where you wonder if it's due to age, or if he touched it too often that the oils from his fingertips have worn the surface off.

you're leaning more on the former hypothesis—you can’t imagine nagi getting sentimental over a handmade charm that’s mediocre at best. or anything at all, period.

a sudden bump on your shoulder causes you to break out of your thoughts. a deep voice hurriedly speaks out, “excuse m—”

“len?” out of all people, why is he sitting next to you? 

you’ve barely seen your ex-boyfriend in the past three years. either he's good at hiding, or you're even less popular (or involved with anyone else who isn't nagi) than you think. to be honest, you've forgotten all about him, but you can still recognize his dark eyes and, annoyingly enough, even the scent of his cologne with just one moment of appraisal.

len looks at you, eyes widened and mouth agape, before he gets up and turns around, climbing up the stairs to find a different seat. you click your tongue, slightly ticked off that he ran away from you. again. okay, whatever.

just then, the referee blows the whistle, signaling the start of the game. reo gets the ball first touch, sneaking his way through defenders with his quick thinking and passes. you're impressed by his skill, but since this is the mikage reo we're talking about, you guess you should've expected it. the team moves accordingly, passing the ball back and forth between them, intensity already cranked up to the maximum so soon after it began.

well, mostly everyone is pumped up. nagi’s half-ass running makes you snicker, and you wonder if he's even going to do anything at all this match if his slouched, lethargic posture is anything to go by. but then you catch sight of his face when an opposing player comes up to him, his visage contorting from passive to mildly irritated. it's only a tiny change, hardly even noticeable, but since you've known him for so long you've gained a good understanding of these miniscule differences. you realize his opponent must have taunted him because now he's locked in, straightening up and dashing towards the penalty area.

for a pretty lax person, you wouldn't have guessed he'd be the type to be vindictive when provoked. most of the time, he does it unintentionally, showing off his unparalleled genius with barely any effort. the ball comes flying toward him, and it almost lands a few inches behind him yet he reaches it perfectly, twisting his body to trap the ball and swiftly kicking it to the goal in one fluid motion.

not even a minute in, hakuho scores a goal, and the world abruptly stops for a second.

absolute silence falls on the field, rendering both the opposing team and the crowd too stunned to speak or even move, save for reo who just beams at the prodigious striker.

“LET’S GO, SEISHIRO!” 

the crowd subsequently erupts with deafening applause and cheers the moment they break out of their stupor, jumping out of their seats and yelling out what was that? in wonder and amazement.

nagi looks up as he hears your voice so distinctly clear from the bleachers. sure, he might have been a tad more zealous about that first goal, but it's not like it was a hard one to pull off—though you and everyone else’s reaction says otherwise, so he must've done something cool.

…still, is any of that really necessary? nagi likes that you've made it to his first ever official match, but you look as if you're one step away from joining the cheerleading squad and be his personal cheerleader. he watches as you cup your hands around your mouth, grinning widely at him across the field, and he thinks that you've never changed at all since middle school. you're always too loud, too forward, too bothersome, too annoying—

but that makes you, you. he wouldn't want it any other way.

for the rest of the game, hakuho dominates the match thanks to him and reo. at some point, the white-haired striker vaguely remembers his captain telling him about some sort of a hat trick, and that it was a really difficult move to pull off (not really) so he tries doing that just to show off a little. i mean, it's my debut, and you're watching, he reasons.

it’s over before he knows it, the score being an impressive 7-0. after the referee blows the whistle and the game ends, everyone explodes into cheers once again, nagi’s teammates huddling over, some jumping on his back and some even lifting him up. 

“nagi!” reo cries out. “wow! i've never seen you worked that hard bef— wait, where are you going?”

when nagi glances towards the bleachers again, he sees you pushing past the other students, nearly hopping over them so you can get to the field, fueled by nothing but adrenaline and hype. he shrugs off his teammate's arms around him, making a beeline towards you. he doesn't even realize what he's doing, lured by the excitement and passion emanating from your presence.

“hey, what are you doing all the way h—”

“SEISHIRO, HELLO? that was so incredible, what the hell was that?!” you exclaim, launching yourself at him. luckily, he catches you just in time…unluckily, he underestimates your exhilaration, your tackle causing both you toppling down on the grass with you landing on top of him as he lets out an oof– as his back hits the grass. “you crazy bastard. i always knew you had it in you!”

from the corner of his eye, he sees reo’s head whipped in your direction, watching the two of you intently, but at the moment none of that matters. nagi still isn’t too good at reading people's emotions, but when it's displayed so clearly before him, your earnest gaze and a smile impossibly wide that your face must've hurt to hold that for so long, he realizes you make it easy for him to understand it this time with no room for any alternative perception.

strands of your hair fall against his face as you hover above him, and the afternoon sun is just about to set, creating a warm halo against your form, and nagi thinks you look as radiant as ever.

taglist: @yoimiya-lover @i2innie

SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE i got so busy irl 😔 taglist is open! just comment ^_^ (if im unable/forgot to tag you, pls lmk!!)

[secretress]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐈 𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐰.❞

What do you need to hear?

Subliminal channel | Masterlist

Tips | Paid Readings

Not a tarot card reading, only based on my intuition.

18+ readings

Divider

Pile 1

You must understand that the reason why everything isn’t going your way isn’t due to the fact you’re not a good person. It is not about your good deeds, or your bad deeds. It is not about who you harm inadvertently, this stems from you as a person. What are you looking for or in your case, whom are you looking for? Are you looking for something that satisfies you for the time being or for the longer term? Ask yourself this. Are you deserving of good luck? Am I deserving of the best?

If you think to yourself that every small detail of your life isn’t going well then you stimulate your mindset in the wrong light. Small simple bad things are normal for us all. One paper cut, a fight occurring, a friendship ending, these things are much smaller than you know.

A paper cut, you were careless and you lack patience.

A fight occurring teaches you patience, resilience, and knowledge. You learn from their behavior, are they a hot headed, calm, how do they react? It heightens your sense, awareness and analytical skills.

A friendship ending is a lesson for us all, it makes us grow as a person and it teaches us how to make ourselves the priority because friendships always end no matter, positive or not. Happy memories are the things one can hold on but to reminisce about the past makes us a prisoner. Do you want to be a prisoner? Does that sound ideal to you? If so, why?

So to ask once more, who are you looking for?

Think about this for a bit and speak to yourself about it until you realize you already know the answer.

The answer is within you.

Pile 2

When you see fire near you, you instantly run or perhaps freeze due to fear, and yet here we stand in the midst of it excited by it. Why is that? Why do you think you seek the adventure of danger? Do you think it plays the factor of being the person you desire or perhaps you’re hiding away once more under a facade of dread and hatred?

Do you believe that the burning flame within you is seeking to go upward or downwards? Do you believe that the same burning flame is you or perhaps it's merely the people around you, your environment?

Why all these questions? What is this reading, you may ask, the truth is, your mind is rather clustered of useless thoughts surrounding you like a snowstorm where you cannot escape, only to shelter oneself. Learn to let go of the thoughts that do not benefit you, and take in the ones that makes you happy. Let go of your worries to whom you believe or what you believe in, and let them take those worries away. Come back anew and make yourself whole once more. Your life is in your hands, not them, not the community nor your family, simply just you and you alone. Obstacles surely are a pain, are they not? But then again, obstacles make us whole so, will you be the person who stops midway through the obstacle or will you go forth with it and leap over it, perhaps even swim around it? The choice is yours and it lies within your grasp. You choose.

Pile 3

When you see the moon hiding the sun, you find it to be mesmerizing. The moon shines its beauty for us so we can enjoy the stars, perhaps to stargaze, maybe to feel like ourselves, who knows. But then again it’s just a normal cycle, a factual tradition, I suppose. But then we look at society and how it teaches us that our flaws are significant and that we must be perfect like Barbie and Ken. But then again, one cannot achieve such perfection, it’s simply impossible. Right?

Why do you believe that you must be perfect at everything? You must achieve everything and that if you do not, you’re unworthy? Not good enough and such. What are you gaining from that? Would you preferably say that to a child, let alone your child? No.

Would you find an infant, barely born and tell them, “you’re doing this wrong. What is wrong with you?! You cannot do anything right!” No. So why do you do it to yourself?

If I were to yell at you right now, how would you react? Would you reciprocate it? Would you let it bury inside and create resentment towards me? Maybe you might slap me as well. Or I suppose, you will laugh it off like it’s nothing, or maybe it truly isn’t anything because you became numb to it because you justified it.

Even so, it’s not justified to act so harsh on yourself, high expectations won’t lead you anywhere, well, I suppose it would leave you in a dump. That doesn’t sound enjoyable, does it? No.

Maybe next time, let’s try being easier on ourselves and show gratitude to oneself for achieving a small accomplishment and giving ourselves a reward. Shouldn’t be hard if you actually care for yourself, now would it? You tell me. Decide it for yourself.

Pile 4

When I think of your pile, I see a child, presumably someone who looks pale, but isn’t. I see an image of someone wearing nothing, but not in a perverted fashion. I see them staring into my eyes with such sadness, such hatred in their heart and eyes. So much anger, and yet there is a “help me” feeling of the way they are gazing into my eyes.

What I’m saying is, those reading this pile feels .. a sense of emptiness and apathy. This pile gave me anxiety for 3 hours straight and I ruined my nails by biting them (which I never do), I wish I was exaggerating, but I am not. Your pile is very rocky, lots of anxiety and frustration, and so much resentment. I can feel my heart beating so incredibly fast, I feel suffocated, I feel like I am drowning, but it’s not the same as you expect someone to drown. I feel as I am dying and that is what you feel right now.

I hear depression, anxiety, BPD, and “I’m going to kill you.” Everyone here feels so much anger, it’s going to explode on the next person. Sometimes you feel like no one understands you and they treat you as a joke, at times you feel as if you aren’t important enough to be apart of your social group, even your family as well. At times, you want to.. jump off a cliff but the thought scares you very much, not because you're a coward, but because you have this small shred of hope that you may have a better life, and you will.

I see a hill, someone's child is holding a book or perhaps a diary, they are holding it tightly, close to their heart. Despite if you don’t read or write journals/diaries, something you have within you is what you hold very close to you and you must cherish that. Keep it close, I’m not speaking of your negativity (some of you, stop it), I’m speaking of the thing you want so badly but you believe it is impossible to achieve and yet it is not. How could it be impossible? You found the right pile for you, so what is the issue of you believing it will come to you even when you do nothing? Anything is possible, that’s very obvious, understand this. If you put your mindset on something, in this case, what you want, you think of it or perhaps daydream about it, then it’s yours. That’s all.

Here is what you must hear.

When a shooting star shoots across the night sky, we all become hypnotized by it due to it being such a rarity, correct? We stargaze because stars are so mesmerizing, so enchanting. When you think of what you desire, that lost hope, you become hypnotized about it, don’t you? If shooting stars are possible, then how dare you say what you desire, that shred of hope isn’t possible?

Getting lost in a world of possibilities is such an exciting experience, isn’t it? But when you realize it’s not real, it hurts even more. Perhaps using that small shred of happiness can amplify what you want. Ever think of that? So just daydream or think of the things you want, even if it’s a “silly” daydream about being a knight saving a princess in a castle with dragons and such, and then think of what you want for a split second even and go back to that “silly” daydream. You’ll manifest what you want without even realizing.

My intuition is telling me is that you can get what you desire if you change your approach in life. If you can do that, then that small shred of hope in your life can bypass the hopelessness that you feel as of this moment. It will twist your mind and make it assume that what you want is so incredibly easy to reach and achieve.

[lucidloving]

Here is a familiar picture: a girl surrounded by people she knows opens her mouth and shuts it again, the way one does with a shoe-box of old things that are precious only to the one who owns them. This is a self-imposed silence that emerges from understanding that a braided string, a misshapen crystal, and a blackened eraser stabbed 23 times have no worldly purpose. But with the profound solitude of loving something that no one else loves comes the lifelong necessity of loving that something enough to make up for the solitude. This is an ultimate truth. But most days it will feel like a burden. This is the other ultimate truth.

Sometimes there is a dull pulse in my ears which speaks of the absurdity of gravity: how all things must eventually fall, like apples, like arrow-shot birds, like people who’ve climbed to the top. It is as much a scientific fact as it is a personal doomsday clock (in fact there is a good deal of overlap between the two). But when you bear the responsibility of loving something, you cannot particularly afford to fall. It’s about pride. Or maybe pride is the bandaid-word for shame. Either way, your eraser parodies of Roman dictators are still waiting for you to come home, so come home you must.

But yes, some days, you will not want to come home. For instance, the day you come to the realisation that you exist purely as a convenient concept to most people you know is possibly crushing, depending on the person who inadvertently induces this realisation. Doomsday science pulls you back down to Earth—after years of believing that you’re more than just a figment of other people’s imaginations, your feet finally touch the ground. There is soil caught uncomfortably between your toes. Most people will never know this. In fact, you understand now that most people probably forget you even have toes.

I really believe now that to him, I’ll always be 17 years old, bright in useless ways and clumsy with my mouth and heart and hands. Forgiving to a fault, laughably predictable, and always, always beneath him. And I believe now that to them, I’ll always be a female option before I am my own person. It will never matter to them what I like to read or what keeps me awake at night or what that idiotic crystal meant to me when I was ten. And I believe now that to them, I am just an accommodating, one-dimensional idea attached to a four-syllable word.

They don’t tell you how hard it is to resist throwing out the whole goddamned shoe-box. But you know you’d regret it. Sure, it’s terribly old and it’s kind of musty and useless, but it’s yours. Even if no one gives it a second glance, even if they throw it down and step on it and spit on it, it’s yours. It hurts when they don’t see you as a person. But I am not an idiot who opens her shoe-box to people who don’t want to understand a thing. Closing my mouth is an act of pride, not shame. Precious things should be kept safe for those who love them, and to hell with those that don’t. This is my favourite ultimate truth.

[wildestdreamsblog]

When you found out they cheated on you

Pairing: Hyung line x Reader

Warnings: Soft Yandere, Cheating, Obsessiveness, Possessiveness, Manipulative behavior, Sexual themes, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.

A/N: because if there’s maknae story, there should be the hyung line story! Work and school have been exhausting me lately sksks I’m glad I made time to finish this! I hope you enjoy!

Namjoon

“It was a stupid mistake!” Namjoon, who rarely raised his voice, implored you to believe him. But you were done believing him. It didn’t matter if it only happened once, or that it was a mistake- none of that mattered because what mattered was that for that short span of moments, his lust overpowered his supposedly love for you.

“Stupid mistake? Namjoon, you’re one of the smartest man on earth for fuck’s sake! What you did wasn’t stupid! It cannot even be considered a mistake!” You screamed at him, your emotions getting the best of you because he kept on blocking your path. You gentle giant would never put his hand on you in anger, but he sure did use his form to stop you from leaving the studio. Jungkook looked traumatized as he inadvertently watched his hyung that he looked up to, and his noona in this terrible scenario.

“Flower, it’s the truth. It was nothing but a mistake! You’re the only one who has my heart! You’re the only one I love-“

“Do you? Really? Do you really love me?”

“I do!”

You shook your head before he could even finished his sentence. “No, Namjoon. I love you. I would never cheat on you. I would never betray your trust. But you did. And now I can’t even love you,” you argued softly, feeling all the energy draining out from you. Suddenly, you were just too tired of it all, and your words made Namjoon faltered.

He felt himself panic, felt himself at lost for the first time. He was a man who always knew what to do, always soldiered on through the toughest of times. But you saying you could no longer love him made him lose his composure. And with his stoic form, you walked past him.

You thought you could leave, really thought you could escape this messed up situation when the golden maknae suddenly stepped in front of you, blocking you from opening the door.

“Jungkook,” you whispered, closing your eyes as tears fell. “Please. Move.”

Jungkook’s lips quivered as he looked at your broken, desolate form, and to his leader who looked so lost, his head bent down as he looked so forlone. He knew he had to help just like how Namjoon was always ready to lend him a helping hand. He was always there to make the difficult decisions, always there to make sure that the members were doing fine.

And now, his leader was anything but fine. And you were the only one who held the great leader together. If you left, Jungkook was terrified to think of what would happen to his hyung.

You attempted to walk around him when he only moved with you, softly stopping you from leaving.

“Please noona, just listen to hyung first, okay?”

“No. I have nothing to say to him anymore.”

“I-I’m sorry, I can’t let you leave-“

You forcedly pushed him to the side, but the muscular golden maknae barely even moved. You were full on crying as you felt so emotionally drained and physically helpless that you didn’t notice Namjoon was standing behind you. His huge hand, the one that you always admired, snaked around you, pulling you closer to his chest.

“Let me go! Let me leave-“ He cut you off, his head bent to nuzzle your neck, his voice deep as the words he said made you paused.

“You and I know that I can’t ever let you go, flower. We’ll talk. We’ll resolve this. We’ll be happy again. You’re mine, flower. You’re never going to leave me.”

You whipped your head to look at him. Was he so disillusioned that he thought you would stay with him after cheating on you? Did he really think you’d still accept him?

Namjoon met your eyes with his determined ones, his other arm wrapping around your waist, effectively preventing you from leaving his side.

No.

Never would you leave him.

Never would he let you.

Without breaking eye contact, his deep voice resounded on the quietness of the studio. “Thanks, Jungkook. And lock the door when you leave.”

Seokjin

“I just can’t stand and see you live a lie. Y/N, we saw Seokjin and a girl kissing…I’m sorry you had to hear this from me.”

You heard what she said, could understand what she said. But why then were you frozen in tracks? Why then were your hands suspended as you poured her coffee? Why then did you desperately not want to believe her?

Why then did you want to run away from this situation?

She was your close friend, practically grew up with you. And you knew she would never lie about something like this. The picture she was showing on her phone was all the proof you needed.

You wouldn’t live with the disrespect, would never allow yourself to stay on a relationship that didn’t value honesty. And so, immediately you resigned from their company after spending so many years working in finance. The HR refrained from asking as though they had an inkling of idea why you were leaving. You set the effectivity as soon as possible, sacrificing your career just as he sacrificed your relationship for a fleeting lust. You were as though on an autopilot, your face stoic as you went out of the house and faced the world, only breaking down once you were safe in the four walls of your house.

Your house.

You were so glad that you didn’t jump right at the prospect of living with him when he begged you to move in with him. You were smart not to uproot your whole life and independence and space. But God were you tempted to wake up everyday in his arms, to see his sleepy face first thing in the morning, to cook and experiment with him.

But all of those were now gone with the wind.

You were avoiding him successfully from the day you were informed, leaving his messages and calls unanswered, leaving the door locked whenever he knocked which made him think you weren’t home.

So where were you?

If only you saw Jin right now, you’d feel a little bit pity for the man you still loved. That was the thing with love, it didn’t just fade away because someone did a mistake. It stayed, it lingered…until it festered from the inside.

He hadn’t seen you in weeks, his messages getting increasingly agitated, angry, sad, and frantic- all of which were left unanswered.

You owed him nothing but your silence, yet his last message sent shivers down your spine.

‘You know I hate being ignored, sweetheart. I don’t know what I’m capable to do if I ever lose you.’

Everyone knew Jin was a good man, someone who was always soft and always looking out for the members. Everyone knew he was selfless. But only you saw the swirling darkness in his eyes whenever he looked at you, only you felt how tight he was holding you whenever someone was near you, or how hard he made love to you on nights when he had no choice but to leave you for work.

But this was different. You felt like his message was a form of promise…or a threat.

Finally, his company contacted you for the documents you needed in order to secure another job, as well as your final pay. You were glad to get this done. You were planning on accepting another job far, far, far away from Jin, his lies, and the relationship you thought would survived. You went to the company after asking your friend that worked there if the group was in the building. Apparently, they were doing a guesting on a radio show which made you feel some kind of thing.

The last time you saw Jin was when he left your apartment before going abroad. You remembered how tight he hugged you, how warm his chest was, and how you were almost crying just thinking about him being gone for a week- which apparently was enough time for him to cheat on you.

“Sweetheart, don’t cry,” he said with a small laugh, wiping your tears with his thumb. “I’ll be back before you know it. I’m going to call everyday! Every hour!”

You laughed at his ridiculousness, and once you did, he gifted you with his beautiful smile. “That’s impossible. You’ll be busy-“

“Nothing is impossible for your boyfriend. I’ll even call you every thirty minutes!”

You scoffed at his cuteness. “It’s true! I’ll even be more clingy or else some asshole might snatch you up while you’re all alone.”

And when you stopped crying, he kissed you so tenderly, so slowly, savoring every moment with you that when you opened your eyes, you were smiling from how much he loved you.

You were an idiot.

You stepped out of the office after bidding your coworkers that turned close friends goodbye, and after securing the documents, the radio station where the group was guesting was playing on the huge screen on the hallway. You frowned when you noticed there were only six of them…with no Jin in sight.

“I see there’s only six of you. Is the world wide handsome doing okay?” The radio host asked the group members in concern, in which Namjoon took the lead.

“He has an emergency right now that sadly cannot wait. But I assure you, our hyung is okay, and he will be resolving the issue as soon as possible.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You couldn’t believe your ears. And you certainly cannot believe your eyes when you suddenly felt a hand gripped your wrist, and dragged you down the hall. Your eyes were wide as you stared at Jin’s broad back, his breaths hard as he pulled you with him. You were too shocked to even resist, not until he pulled you inside his office and locked the door behind him.

His jaw was clenched as he took you in, his face missing the usual playfulness in it.

“I thought something bad happened to you,” he began in the deepest voice you heard him used. His form was rigid as he took you in, searching for any harm that may have come your way since you started ghosting him. And only when he were assured that you were unharmed did he meet your eyes. You were unharmed and that should calmed him down, but it didn’t. It didn’t get passed his observation that you appeared thinner than the last time he saw you. And he loathed that. Jin took pride in the fact taking care of you, of making sure that your well-being was his main priority that your weight dropped was like a knife to his heart. “I thought someone took you away from me,” he continued, walking closer to you as though he was a predator, and you a prey that had been successfully evading him for quite some time. And it enraged him, that when he got closed enough to you, he trapped you in his arms never to let you go. “Sweetheart, I thought I lost you,” he whispered in a dark tone, yet an underlying terrified emotion passed through his eyes.

You looked at him with hard eyes, “Don’t touch me.”

“First you ran away from me and now you don’t want me touching you?” He scoffed in disbelief.

“First you claimed to love me and then you threw our relationship to the ground and cheated on me,” you snapped back, pushing the tall man away from you with all your strength and the asshole only moved few inches.

“W-what? Sweetheart, what are you talking about?” He visibly paled, his hand was shaking with sudden stressed and anxiety.

“You’re not an idiot, Seokjin. So stop acting like one.”

“I don’t understand. Is that why you’re avoiding me? Because you think I cheated-“

“Don’t you dare make me feel like an idiot, Kim Seokjin.”

“I’m not, sweetheart. But that is not true! I’ll never cheat on-“

You showed him your phone, the one that your friend showed you and broke your heart. His eyes were on the screen of your phone, his eyes went round that you had proof of his infidelity. After a moment of silence, you deleted the picture.

“Don’t worry. Your image is safe,” you smiled at him sadly, assuring him that you would never use this against him despite how much he devastated you. At this point, you were just damn tired and his presence would never put you whole again.

You wanted to be away from him.

You managed to render him speechless, managed to put much distance between the two of you, before going straight to the door.

“She meant nothing,” his voice was pleading, watching you with pitiful eyes.

“Apparently, I mean nothing, too.”

You were about to open the door when his words stopped you.

“Do you want me to destroy her? You know I can…Just tell me what you need so we can move past this, sweetheart…”

You knew your Jin’s family was powerful, something that he never bragged about. He was so humble that he even chose to start from the very bottom, growing with the members through hardship despite the fact that he had a rich family. And now that he was saying these words, offering you to destroy someone just because he could proved to you how much you never knew him.

Your eyes were terrified as you looked up at the tall man, his jaw clenched, seriousness and madness crossing his face. “What I want is for you to go back in time and be faithful to me, but we cannot have that, can we?”

His handsome face visibly flinched from your verbal attack, but you had to get this out of your chest. “What I want is for you to leave me alone. I’m done with you, Kim Seokjin.”

And finally, when you opened the door, he didn’t stop you. Yet, his parting words to you assured you that this wouldn’t be the last you saw of him.

“I’ll give you time. I’ll give you space. But please don’t make me be the villain in our story, sweetheart. Because I can be the villain if it means keeping you with me.”

Yoongi

Your Yoongi was staying up late in his studio for almost a month now, pouring in so many hours just to perfect his craft that more often than not, you slept and woke up alone. And you would admit that you were feeling quite lonely, the fancy apartment he got for you and him was screaming in elegance, but you had never felt so alone than you did right now.

You missed your Yoongi.

With your mind made up, you cooked him his favorite food. You’d surprised him in his studio.

But when you got there, it was you who was surprised.

You wished you didn’t come, wished that you never locked eyes with him. You wished you never met him.

Yet most of all, you wish you never knew. It was true what they said, ignorance was a fucking bliss because having seen him thrusting behind a bent girl, one that you recognized, sent sharp stabs of pain and betrayal in your heart.

Did you ever really know him?

Because the man who opened his eyes in time to see your tears fell was not the one you fell in love with, he wasn’t the man who promised never to cheat on you because he knew how it felt, knew how damaging it was,

He experienced it, he lived it- so why then was he making you live the nightmare he escaped?

Yoongi’s movement faltered when he saw you. He wanted so bad to wake up from this, wanted so bad to consider this a mere nightmare. But it wasn’t. You were really looking at him with hurt and betrayal in your eyes.

But didn’t he mean for this to happen? Wasn‘t he the one to always self-destruct when things were becoming too good to be true? And weren’t you too good to be true?

You were too good for him.

And now he was regretting giving in to temptation, he regretted destroying the one good and pure thing in his life.

“K-Kitten,” he called out to you as he removed himself from the woman. And you winced when you heard the sickening sound of the proof of his infidelity. Before he could even tucked himself, you left.

You couldn’t even stay one second with him.

You couldn’t even breathe in that room because it reeked of them.

You couldn’t breath. God, you couldn’t breathe.

You heard him screaming for you as you ran, his deep voice resounding on the hallway as the remaining staff looked at you with bewilderment in their eyes. They never heard the Min Yoongi that desperate and fearful until that day.

You didn’t know how, but you managed to pack your stuff and left him and his lies. Or maybe he just didn’t care enough to go after you. It did hurt, but you were glad he didn’t. You couldn’t believe he made a fool of you when you did nothing but love and understand his hectic schedule. And now you didn’t want to see him.

You thought you’d never hear from him again. You were sure he was ashamed of himself that he’d never show up in front of you again. But you couldn’t be anymore wrong.

It was almost a week when you came home from work. Your apartment was small, and not something you’d rent for a long time. But it was exactly what you needed- somewhere far away from him. So imagine your surprise when you walked to your apartment only to find him waiting for you.

Yoongi looked thinner, he looked paler and his eyes looked like they had not rested since forever. He stepped near you but you acted like he wasn’t there, fishing your keys from your bag.

“Kitten-“

You evaded his touch, not looking at his way and instead, attempted to open your door.

“Kitten, let’s talk. Please. I haven’t slept since you left. I’ve been going crazy because I couldn’t find you,” he said desperately, his voice showing agitation despite him trying to say his piece calmly. You pretended to not hear him. You promised yourself that the next time you’d see him, you would act as if he didn’t exist, because why shouldn’t you? In the first place, he acted as if you didn’t exist and proceeded on fucking someone else.

You cursed when you dropped your keys in your haste. You bent down and tried again, praying to heavens that your hand stopped trembling.

“I didn’t know where you were. I went around, I looked for you. I went to your family, I went to your friends but none of them knew where you are. I thought something bad happened to you. I thought I’d never see you again,” he sputtered out, his eyes desperately searching yours as he stood beside you. His form looked defeated, yet you knew he was a stubborn man.

He wouldn’t let this go.

“As you can see, I am alive and well. So leave,” you said in a cold voice, not once removing your eyes from your door that was as equally stubborn as Yoongi.

“Why would I? My girlfriend is here. Shouldn’t lovers stay together?” He asked, his head tilted to the side in confusion.

You sighed in frustration before finally, finally looking at the lunatic beside you.

“Oh, I don’t know. I thought our relationship was done from the time you cheated on me.”

If he was affected by your verbal attack, he didn’t show. Instead, his eyes lost their desperation, and in their place was determination. He stepped near you that it left you no choice but to back away from him until you felt the door behind you.

“Oh, kitten, you thought we were done? That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?” He whispered as he bent down to look into your eyes. He smiled at you, his smile so sweet yet so cold, as though some switch was turned. “That’s okay. I understand. But we’re not done because you promised me before that you were never going to leave me, isn’t that right, kitten?”

He tucked your hair behind your ear. Having touched you calmed him down enough to know that you needed space from him. But it was alright. He’d give you space. He’d let you breathe.

But there was no way he was going to let you go.

But you were smart, because the very next day, you moved.

Hoseok

“Don’t! Don’t touch me. You disgust me!” You screamed at him as you pushed his desperate hands away from you.

You couldn’t believe how idiotic you were. You thought surprising him in the hotel he was staying in Japan was a smart move. You thought he’d be happy to see you because why wouldn’t he want to see you when it was your fucking anniversary today.

And yet here you were, shocked to see him in bed with another woman.

The staff were hesitant to tell you his room number this time. But it would rather be more suspicious if they didn’t give Jung Hoseok’s longtime girlfriend his room number when they were used to you surprising him.

As soon as Hoseok opened the door wearing only a robe, you jumped and planted kisses on his handsome face. But when you finally opened your eyes, you saw a woman hastily wearing her clothes with her hair all over her face, and her lipstick smudged. Slowly, you turned to look at his lips only to find the same shade there.

You never laid hands on him, not even in playful fights.

But this time, you slapped him so hard his head turned to the side.

“Angel, I-I’m sorry!” He sobbed as you pushed him further away from you, your eyes never leaving the crumpled bedsheets, his scattered clothes on the floor, the glasses of wine on the table. You couldn’t believe he could do this to you. You couldn’t believe he would ever do this to you.

He was full on sobbing as he held you to him. And you were still too shocked of everything- yet you knew you didn’t want him touching you.

You struggled against him, pushing him away. He still smelled like her. The girl had long ran out of the room, yet her presence still lingered.

“Don’t touch me. We’re done, Hoseok,” you declared in a strong voice before turning away from him. You didn’t even make it halfway to the hallway when you heard his scream that were so loud that the members all went out of their rooms thinking it was an emergency.

You heard him before you could even turn to look at him.

“Please please please, don’t leave me please,” he croaked as you looked at his tear-stained eyes. He was inconsolable, his breathing rapid as he implored you to believe him, to not leave him.

You shook your head at him, aware of the members who were all watching the two of you with anguish and surprised in their eyes. They weren’t used to see Hoseok this vulnerable, and they had known you for so long and yet this was the first time they saw the two of you like this.

What happened?

He was so in love with you..

Hoseok attempted to touch you when you slapped him once again, your anger getting the best of you. “I told you not to touch me. Never touch me again,” you fumed at him, never minding his distressed state. “Not when you fucked someone else minutes ago!”

“I’m sorry. Don’t leave me. Don’t. Please.”

At that point, Hoseok was even more incoherent, his cries making his words come out short that Jimin couldn’t take it any longer and went closer to his hyung in an attempt to calm him down.

“No. You deserved to be alone,” you spat at him before walking away only to be once again stopped by him. He tugged your hand, and to your surprised, he knelt down. He bowed down his head as though he was praying for you not to leave, your hand trapped in his larger ones.

“Hyung-“

“I’ll do anything. I’ll do anything for you to forgive me. Just please!” His voice was loud as he wailed, his shoulders shaking. He looked up to you. “Please don’t leave me.”

But his tears wouldn’t move you. Not when you gave him all of you. Not when you loved him with all your heart only for him to cheat on you.

At your cold stare and silence, Jimin squatted down beside him. “Hyung, maybe you two should talk again when both of you are calmer.”

Namjoon’s mind started shifting gears. He knew no one should see Hoseok like this, knew that the dancer could not control his emotions. He stepped near you, touching your elbow gently as he leaned down to look at you.

“Right. Hyung, the two of you will talk tomorrow. I’m sure Y/N is still exhausted from her flight,” he started before looking at the still crying man. He nodded his head at him in assurance. And only when Hoseok nodded did Jimin helped his hyung to stand up. “Jimin, bring him to his room first. I’ll take care of Y/N.”

He didn’t leave, not before telling you he loved you and that he’d talk to you tomorrow. Not before you and Namjoon left first.

“I don’t want to talk to him,” you whispered to the tall man beside you.

“I know. It’s just to calm him down for tonight, Y/N,” he assured you, knowing that what his hyung did was wrong. He heard enough to know that his hyung was in the wrong. “But I hope you know he’s never going to let you go that easily.”

And when you looked behind you, there he still was, standing with tears in his eyes- yet his face was clouded with darkness and a promise that he would make this right, whether you wanted to or not.

[ventique18]

~ Crowley Vignette Pt. 3 ~

After lunch, Crowley's GOT NOTHING TO DO because all the professors are at their classes, so he might as well go to Sam's TO KILL TIME.

???: "You don't gotta worry 'bout that!"

Crowley: "Hm? That voice..."

He's far away, but when he looks to that direction...

Grim: "Ain't no one noticin' a cut class or two. So let's go nap instead, nyahaha!"

Yuu: "Let's go back to class"

Then Crowley starts spewing to himself "To think that there are two rebels cutting classes in my school... Seriously, I cannot believe it!"

Then an entire gang of students swaggers to Grim and Yuu because they're gonna take over the bench to slack off. Grim doesn't relent; they got here first so finders keepers!

"MORE STUDENTS HAVE COME TO CUT CLASSES!"

It looks like a fight's about to break out. Just what kind of discipline is going on at his school?!

"HEY, YOU LOT! Shouldn't you be at class right now?!"

Grim panics so Yuu apologizes for him.

"After having witnessed such blatant disobedience, I'm inadvertently getting reeled in by a sincere apology..."

"Everyone, please get back to your classes. I would very much appreciate it if you were to study properly. Magic talent without hard work is not quite as sweet. While it's true that being born with a natural sense for it is important, it is the daily grind and experience that truly matters."

Then he asks if the students recall his speech earlier. Grim says it was boring as hell so he wasn't listening at all. The random Ignihyde students says "Same, same."

SO OUT OF DESPERATION, Crowley turns to Yuu and asks if they remember.

"Of course I remember." / "It was something about a grape tree, yeah?" IT WAS AN APPLE TREE.

The random Savanaclaw student cuts in and says he's noisy as hell. He's the Headmage, but it's not that they need to listen to him yeah?

Diasomnia Student: "Yeah. And it's not like we've ever seen the headmage perform any amazing magic. Even the housewardens don't give a crap about him..."

Savanaclaw Student: "What a loser. 'Kay, let's just ignore him!"

Crowley: "... Really, what troublesome kids."

Crowley: "It can't be helped then. Let me show you how important it is to thoroughly study magic."

"... For I am very kind! / WATASHI YASASHII NO DE!"

AND THEN HE WHIPS THEM AND LITERALLY TIES THEM TOGETHER DASHJKHKJADS

Crowley: "It is not a bind. This is the whip of love! Only a slightly tougher version."

The students panic, but the Diasomnia student claims that magic's flimsy and can be easily broken. ... Not?! What's going on? His magic doesn't do shit...

Crowley: "Why, of course. Am I not the Headmage of Night Raven College? This level of magic is naught but as simple as breathing."

He sighs and comments that these kids are underestimating him one too many times. It won't do that children who can't even gauge their own abilities are looking down on an educator like him.

"I simply had to make you understand your own immaturities."

"Go, go, Crowley go! Show them how much of a baby they are!"

Yuu: "Now's the perfect time to run away..."

Crowley: "And for you: Whip of Love! Gentle Ver.!"

And then both Grim and Yuu get captured!

Crowley soothes the struggling Grim by saying that he really has high expectations for both him and Yuu. He's certain that the two of them can change the future of this school. 🤔

"You can do that, can't you?"

Grim: "'Course. Just leave it to the great genius master Grim!"

Grim: "... So let me go already!"

Crowley: "Well then. Shall we take each of you to your respective classes?"

Grim: "What?! Tied up like this?! If the other guys saw me, I'd definitely never hear the end of it! Let me go! Let me go!"

Crowley: "As you are Night Raven College students, take this as a lesson opportunity to reflect upon."

"Because all of you are... my precious, precious apple trees."

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

hi hi very politely requesting Billy Batson fic recs

Well I can’t not instantly answer that question in saying Wolfsbanesparks and Starkvenger have a lot of my go to and favorite fics for the little guy, just off the top of my head.

“Man’s best friend” is a Starkvenger fic I really liked, among the many others they have.

Kenandelzia has some hilarious fics based off the art they make.

“PowerPoints, property damage, and child soldiers …among other things” makes me laugh

“A total cat-astrophe” by Fluffypanda

“Stripes” by CheeseSnack is a sweet fic

“The Fawcett Underground” by blue_bees is a really sweet fic with Billy and Plastic man, which is a friendship I find myself really liking especially with the homeless Billy fics

“No one is going to believe you” by Oka_Hills1232 is a funny identity reveal fic

“A day in the life of Batman” by TaxiCabToSlowtown is the one shot that inadvertently inspired Bat-Swap for me, and ironically Bruce and Billy aren’t the ones body swapped

“Charred” by AzuraJae also an inspiration and angsty

Not exactly Billy but I’d be remiss if I didn’t recommend “Marvelous assumptions” by Jedi_Olympian. I really liked it and think it’s cute

“I am not a prince” by Oka_Hills1232 is delicious and I cannot get enough of it. Black Adam steps up and does the “is no one going to take care of this small child?” And didn’t wait for the answer

“Conspiracies, friendships, and superheroes—oh my!” Is funny

“Statute of limitations” by Oka_Hills1232 is another funny reveal fic

I’ve got others, I don’t keep track well and just use my browsers “add to reading list” to save and store fics

[and-her-saints]

american who grew up protestant: all religion is bad because of [feature unique to christianity] and [feature unique to abrahamic religions]! i can’t believe all of us christians grew up being taught that [teaching unique to protestantism]! this specific religious issue affects everyone [by "everyone" they mean "americans"]!

like obviously there’s massive nuance to this but it’s sooo tiring hearing some american WASP or whatever discussing religion without knowing anything about religion in other countries, different cultures, Indigenous religions and spirituality, ethnoreligions, religious persecution, or religions other than christianity (or religions other than christianity, islam & judaism at *best*).

you cannot “destroy religion” your way into collective liberation.

you cannot argue for “a religionless world” without inherently and inadvertently calling for cultural genocide.

most of these exvangelicals don’t even care to explore the ways they’re still part of the cultural hegemonic majority. they don’t care to realize they’re still *culturally* christian, and that just because they now don’t believe in a god, it doesn’t mean their values, their perspective, their ethics, their cosmology, their politics *are no longer* influenced by their experience of their specific brand of protestantism/christianity. they are, most of the times and by all means, Christian Atheists™️

they have no interest in unpacking how their critique and disdain for “the Old Testament God” has historically affected and continues to affect Jewish people to this day. they have no interest in unpacking how their open mockery of Jesus also offends Muslims, not just their hometown church.

Christianity hurt you. but that does not give you a free-pass to be weird about all religious people and their beliefs. especially when their background, experience, level of privilege, geographical location, and religion practiced looks nothing like what you used to do. because, believe it or not, not “all religion” is the same. it’s soooo not that simple.

“end all religion” sounds like a liberatory chant when your ex-religion belongs to the cultural-religious hegemony of your region and has a strong political and social power (which IS to be criticised and dismantled, don’t get me wrong.) however, “end all religion” sounds a LOT less liberatory when you’re a persecuted religious minority. because “when” we do “end all religion,” who do you fucking think is going to be ended first?

TLDR: good for you for deconstructing. 👍 now, deconstruct some more. 👍 atheism is fine, anti-theism is a harmful pipeline.