#i can't wait to listen to the other songs!

[astonmartinii]

day eight: is it new years yet? | franco colapinto social media au

pairing: franco colapinto x fem albon!reader

christmas day has come and gone and lovers have the agonising wait until new years to reunite (ie complaining a lot)

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

francocolapinto

liked by olliebearman, alexalbon and 828,056 others

tagged: yourusername

francocolapinto: will someone bring my wife back from the war

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user1: i need this kind of man in my life please

user2: i just know he's wearing that shirt completely unironically

user3: i need him to wear it in the paddock please

alexalbon: "the war" being her family's home for christmas

francocolapinto: well yes! why would she want to spend time with YOU when she could spend time with ME

alexalbon: she's not being held hostage she can leave if she wants to

francocolapinto: you're using the pets to your advantage

francocolapinto: DISGUSTING

alexalbon: excuse me?

francocolapinto: free her! and let her bring stan too!

alexalbon: you know what? it's christmas so i won't be entertaining this absolute nonsense

francocolapinto: my love for your sister is not nonsense alex, i am hurt by these accusations

alexalbon: FUCK OFF

user4: oh alex and franco bickering you are so personal to me

user5: i don't know how i'm going to deal with franco not being on the grid next year

yourusername: trust and believe sis, he'll in that paddock no matter what

user6: thank you for your service queen

alexalbon: if you must i guess

yourusername: missing you more baby

francocolapinto: actually not possible

yourusername: you could always come here ...

francocolapinto: and miss out on the sun on christmas?

francocolapinto: and have to hang out with alex ????

alexalbon: i am SICK of you pretending i'm not an absolute hoot

francocolapinto: i'll agree this one time and that's only because you share genetics with y/n so i must assume you must have some of her qualities

alexalbon: what the hell, sure

yourusername

liked by landonorris, francocolapinto and 341,984 others

tagged: alexalbon

yourusername: is it new years yet?

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user9: personally if i had that many cute pets i would not be complaining about going home for christmas

user10: real

albon_pets: that's exactly our points !!

francocolapinto: but not as cute as franco!

user11: did you forget to log into your burner account?

francocolapinto: no i just have a very secure view of myself

yourusername: therapists are AFRAID of him

user12: have we considered they do miss each other but are really on a covert mission to subliminally force us to listen to sabrina carpenter's ep fruitcake

yourusername: it is a banger i will say that

alexalbon: our family are NOT ANNOYING THIS IS A LIE

alexalbon: the song is good tho

landonorris: speaking of sabrina carpenter, do you wanna try out some freaky positions while you're back in england @yourusername ?

francocolapinto: i will tear you limb from limb and then drag you around silverstone attached to my williams like cans from a wedding car

user13: that's so romantic 🥰

landonorris: MURDER IS ROMANTIC?

francocolapinto: stop flirting with my girlfriend or i will invent a crime worse than murder

landonorris: it's a JOKE ????

francocolapinto: i am not laughing.

yourusername: he's so protective hehehehe

landonorris: so you're willing to let franco murder your friend of over TEN YEARS ?

yourusername: he can do no wrong in my eyes

landonorris: ALEX?

alexalbon: firstly, you bought this upon yourself. secondly, franco actually got me a really cool christmas present so he is above you on my friendship pyramid now

francocolapinto: no one can resist franco xx

user14: this comment section is a fucking mess

user15: and i wouldn't change it for the world

francocolapinto: counting down the days xxx

yourusername: i'm so excited i can't stop talking about it

albon_pets: this is true, she's even talking to the cats about it

alexalbon

liked by georgerussell63, landonorris and 409,302 others

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alexalbon: despite popular belief, my sister does actually love me (or she at least loves the animals)

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user16: they're such a cute lil family

user17: and with the introduction of franco's face card they will be unstoppable

georgerussell63: with the absolutely blasphemous speculation in these comment sections i would like to lodge a formal complaint concerning the fact that i have never been invited to an albon christmas

francocolapinto: not cute enough

georgerussell63: i can go toe to toe with you franco

yourusername: lying is a sin george

georgerussell63: what happened to the y/n i once knew ...

yourusername: listen george if you want the invite you gotta marry in to the family, and since both alex and i are taken it looks like your best bet is one of the cats

georgerussell63: that would be beastiality

yourusername: not my problem

alexalbon: please don't fuck one of my cats george

georgerussell63: SHUT UP !!! i merely wanted some recognition for my importance to the albon family but alas you are all IDIOTS. DID OUR HOMOEROTIC SHARED THROAT INFECTION MEAN NOTHING ALEX

alexalbon: i don't really know what you want me to say here?

user18: george has been off his rocker since qatar i fear

yourusername: it's been much longer than that lol

francocolapinto: she'll never love you more than she loves me

alexalbon: considering you two are in a romantic relationship i would hope so

yourusername: oh girlies we should get this all out now before franco gets here and before we camp out in the williams garage all season

alexalbon: i must ask do you have to be there all season?

yourusername: we're scheming

francocolapinto: james can't resist my puppy dog eyes for that long

yourusername: count your days @carlossainz55

carlossainz55: excuse me ??

francocolapinto: you heard her !!!

carlossainz55: @alexalbon is it going to be like this all season?

yourusername: not if we have anything to do with it

carlossainz55: so just for a few races

francocolapinto: no dipshit we're going to steal your seat

user19: i love when a couple really come together to maxmise their joint slay

francocolapinto

liked by yourusername, olliebearman and 823,019 others

francocolapinto: i hate the time warp between christmas and new years so much what do you mean i actually want to be playing trivial pursuit with alex :(

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user21: why does he have a bunny?

user22: it's best not to ask questions about franco really

user23: i want to know but also i think for my sanity it's best i don't

alexalbon: everyone goes on about the 'franco charm' but really it's all about the alex charisma

francocolapinto: whatever, you can have this one, but know you'll never truly be me

alexalbon: was the half compliment in the caption the yearly compliment for 2024

francocolapinto: yeah so savour it

alexalbon: you're so kind franco

francocolapinto: i know 🫶

alexalbon: i was being sarcastic

francocolapinto: compliment is a compliment

user24: franco is the type to be called pretty dumb and just hear pretty

user25: he wouldn't be wrong

yourusername: i've been holding down the fort while i can but this dumbass has clearly done some reading in his spare time

francocolapinto: no one is as smart as you amor i have no worries

user26: is this game of trivial pursuit lasting days?

landonorris: there is no way you're the trivial pursuit champion ???

yourusername: i've won for the last five years running, why wouldn't i be?

francocolapinto: choose your words carefully lando... i'll be on british soil before you know it

landonorris: why is it just me you're going after the whole twitch gc agree

charles_leclerc: not sure what you're on about here lando

georgerussell63: i've always been impressed by y/n's trivial pursuit skills

alexalbon: i love her so much i let her win

francocolapinto: @landnorris consider this a warning

landonorris: how did i end up with the threats again?

user27: franco does not play omg

yourusername: he's the biggest loverboy eva

yourusername

liked by georgerussell63, alexalbon and 603,029 others

tagged: francocolapinto & alexalbon

yourusername: reunited and it feels so good !

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user28: i have never felt jealousy like this

user29: hey siri play that should be me by justin bieber

user30: you're telling me i gotta live and people like y/n get to have an f1 driver brother AND franco colapinto as her new years kiss ???

francocolapinto: longest ten days of my LIFE

yourusername: you can't get rid of me now

francocolapinto: good! i need my fix of y/n :3

francocolapinto: i'm addicted to you

yourusername: you're addicted? they're tryna make me go to rehab

francocolapinto: but i said

yourusername: no

francocolapinto: no !

user31: are these motherfuckers quoting amy winehouse ???

alexalbon: worse, they're actually singing it to each other right now

user32: WHAT? show it to me rachel....

georgerussell63: wait he came to england ????

francocolapinto: yes! you're no longer the hottest f1 driver in the country - i'm so sorry!

georgerussell63: @alexalbon please tell me this little menace is not crashing your festivities?

alexalbon: well technically ... franco is family so he's got more of a right to an invite than you ...

francocolapinto: snooze you lose georgie boy

georgerussell63: you need better taste y/n

yourusername: wanna say that again

alexalbon: oh george ...

georgerussell63: you need better taste y/n

landonorris: oop.

yourusername: I DON'T CARE IF IT'S MEANT TO BE NEW YEAR NEW ME, IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL THERE WILL BE NO 2025 FOR YOU RUSSELL

francocolapinto: that's so fucking hot

yourusername: i love you <3

francocolapinto: i love you more

kimiantonelli: do i have a teammate for next year or?

fin.

note: amazing news!!! the vets found that my cat was too healthy to be put down so he lives to slay another day. hope you enjoy this celebratory franco fic, my first for him i think? (can you tell i need to update my masterlist?)

[zorosangell]

⛥ﾟ・。 bmf

synopsis: zoro doesn't take kindly to you being disrespected... at all.

cw: supposed to parallel piña colada, fluffy fluff, comfort, ZORO DOES NOT PLAY ABOUT YOU, protective zoro, decent amount of profanity in this one, zoro is mr. handle it.

a/n: I LOVE LANA SO MUCH I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF ZORO WHEN I HEARD THIS SONG <3 i suggest you listen to it while reading for the full experience.

"This is insane!" a random onlooker exclaimed, hand gripping his hair in disbelief. "Are these guys even human?!"

His shouts of surprise were followed by howls of excitement from the other passerby, everyone packed tightly around your net and towels to get a glimpse of the action.

Originally, the boys had been taking on challengers in four-on-four volleyball matches, but when they kept kicking everyone's ass, they opted for two on two between themselves instead.

The current match was Sanji and Usopp vs. Zoro and Franky.

And the entire crowd was on the edge of their seats.

"C'mon, Sanji! Get your head in the game!" Nami exclaimed, slightly tipsy, as she gripped onto her wad of cash. "If you lose this, I'm out thirty thousand berries!"

"Yes, Nami-Swan! Your wish is my command!" the lovesick cook squealed, completely stopping what he was doing to gawk at her, his eyes turning heart-shaped.

With a smirk, Zoro took the opportunity to launch himself in the air, meeting Franky's set perfectly and spiking the ball into the sand with a deafening slam, the force creating a small crater.

"Yes! Good job, Zo'!" you cheered, pumping your free fist in the air while the other held your swordsman's sake.

"SANJI!" Nami growled, furious.

With a small chuckle, Robin glanced up from her book, eyes carefully examining the navigator's puffed cheeks and childish pout.

'Adorable...'

"Nami, this is supposed to be a vacation..." you snickered, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Why don't you relax?"

"I would be relaxed if I was making money!" she huffed, crossing her arms over his chest. "I ask him to do one thing, and he can't even do that!"

"This is for the win! One last rally!" Chopper announced, happily jumping atop his lifeguard chair.

"C'mon, Sanji, you gotta help me on this!" Usopp exclaimed as he grabbed the cook by his shoulders, attempting to shake him out of it. "There's no way I'm stopping them if they pull that move again!"

"Nice work, bro!" Franky commended, giving your moss-haired swordsman a high-five as he approached the service line, ball in hand.

"Thanks," he nodded, a cocky smirk settling on his lips as he turned to face the net. "Now, let's finish this... I got a nice bottle of sake waiting for me."

Out the corner of his eye, he glanced at his towel, where you sat, reapplying your sunscreen.

Carefully, you squeezed a glob into your palm, closing the cap before rubbing your hands together and massaging it into the flesh of your legs.

Like a dog with a bone, he watched, mesmerized, as you caressed your skin, the sunscreen giving you an alluring shine and making your legs look ripe and tender for the grabbing.

'Goddamn...'

He grinned, taking in the light (f/c) of your bikini, along with the waist beads hanging lazily over your stomach, and the gold anklets and bracelets that jingled with your every movement.

You looked oh-so sexy, and he was oh-so ready to join you.

"Let's hurry this up!"

Tossing the ball in the air, he served, sending it flying over the net with the force of a cannonball.

"Sanji!" Usopp shrieked, eyes wide with fear as he slapped his hands on his cheeks.

"Diable Mouton Shot!" Sanji spat, jumping into the air and hitting the ball with a flaming kick, sending the it right back.

The damned thing caught on fire with his force, and was headed straight for the sand.

"What a weak serve! I'd expect that from you, moss for brains!"

"HAH?! YOU WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN!"

"I got it, bro!" Franky dove, extending his fist in the nick of time and saving the ball, letting it bounce into the sky. "All you!"

Pissed, Zoro broke into a running start before launching himself into the air once again, the crowd going wild as he wound up his arm for one monster slam.

Suddenly, something called his attention to the sidelines, his eyes instantly landing on the (h/c) head of hair that belonged to his girlfriend.

You were smiling from ear to ear, beaming with pride, hands clasped together as you watched him soar through the air.

Finding his eyes, you gave your swordsman a firm nod, your expression encouraging him to push forward.

That was all the confirmation he needed.

With renewed vigor, Zoro turned to the ball, your support turning his drive into pure, molten fire.

He roared, striking down on the ball, executing a perfect spike.

"Ow!" a random woman winced as she walked past, lifting up her foot. "Stupid seashells..."

"Do you need help, my dear?! I'd be glad to carry you wherever you need to go!" Sanji offered, practically teleporting to her side with a lovesick grin.

"SANJI!" Usopp screamed, terrified, as the ball came careening toward him.

Frantic, he dove out the way, just barely saving his ass as it slammed into the ground with a thunderous crack, a large burst of sand shooting up from the ground.

For a moment, the crowd was silent, before erupting with roars of joy and excitement.

Everyone rushed Zoro as he landed, Franky letting out loud whoops and howls of victory.

"SANJI!" Nami shouted, dropping herself face first in her towel. "My berries!"

"Zoro and Franky win! Way to go, Zoro!" Chopper cheered, jumping off of the lifeguard chair.

"That move was killer, man!" one of the onlookers exclaimed. "I could barely see the ball!"

"You should go pro! You'd make a killing!" another added.

"Great game!"

"Good job!"

"You're the best player I've ever seen!”

"That last spike was insane! A little higher and you could've jumped over the net!"

The women were next to swarm, pushing past the men and surrounding him on all sides.

"Nice game, hot stuff!"

"You're really strong, aren't you?"

"You doin' anything later tonight?"

Zoro rolled his eyes, unamused, as he attempted to maneuver around them, one thing on his mind.

You.

Though, as he managed to peer past the crowd of girls, he caught sight of a man next to his towel.

He was large for an average guy, muscular and decently good-looking with shaggy brown hair.

But that wasn't what bothered Zoro.

What bothered Zoro was the way he was talking to you, forcibly positioning himself to tower over your sitting form and using a sharp tone that sparked a few embers of anger in the swordsman's chest.

Who the fuck did he think he was talking to?

"You got a name, handso—?" "Move."

Pushing past her and the other girls, he power-walked toward your umbrella, getting close enough to actually make out what you were saying.

"Look, whatever your name is, I'm trying to help you out," you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. "I can't promise your safety if my boyfriend comes back here and catches you acting like this."

He'd been at this for fifteen minutes...

After Robin left to go get a drink, and Nami ran off to kick Sanji's ass, he swooped in like a vulture on the hunt, attempting to put the moves on you.

He used every line in the book, laying it on thick as he bragged about his weight-lifting stats and obnoxiously flexed his muscles in your face.

"My safety?" he scoffed, letting out a haughty chuckle at your outlandish statement. "Sweetheart, if anything, your boyfriend's the one that should be worryin' about safety. I guarantee you I'm twice the man he is."

You paused a moment, almost disbelieving, lifting up your shades and waiting to see if the man was serious.

He was.

Deadly serious, actually.

'HA!'

You threw your head back in a burst of uproarious laughter, the sound causing the man to jolt with surprise, and slight confusion.

He'd never seen your expressions range anything past disinterest, so seeing you so amused by the idea of him beating up your boyfriend was... jarring, to say the least.

But you couldn't help yourself.

Zoro, the man with a bounty over one billion?

Zoro, the master of the sword belonging to the king of hell?

Zoro, the man who has moved literal mountains with his bare hands?

It was almost too much.

The man's brows furrowed, face burning at the mockery.

"The hell is so fuckin' funny?!" he huffed, growing anger.

Attempting to regain your composure, you wiped a tear from your eye, slightly clutching your stomach as your laughs died down.

"You wish," you snickered into the rim of your fruity drink, taking a sip as you attempted to muffle your chuckles. "He'd kill you... like actually."

Furious, the man took a harsh step forward, completely invading your personal space and smacking your drink out your hand, knocking the cup into the sand.

"You think I'm some kind of joke, bitch?!" he exclaimed, the veins in his neck bulging.

"Pick it up."

Zoro's voice traveled through the air like a wave of ice, quelling the slight pangs of worry in your chest like water to a fire.

Feeling tough, the man snapped his head around, meeting your swordsman with a harsh glare.

That is... until he realized who he was talking to.

Instantly, the wind left his sails, eyes widening and heart sinking like a rock in a river as it all finally clicked.

Your boyfriend was one of the most wanted men in the New World.

"Y-You... Y-You're... Pirate Hunter?!"

"I said... pick it up," Zoro pressed, tone leaving no room for argument, eye sharply trained on the bastard in front of him. "Before I make you do it myself."

"Look! I didn't know she was your girlfriend!" the man blubbered, practically shaking as he scrambled to pick up your glass, frantically handing it to you. "I didn't mean it! I don't want any trouble!"

"Then get lost," Zoro spat, harshly, brows cinching with anger. "You come around here again and I'll show you who's the real bitch."

The man didn't have to hear it twice.

Like that, he was gone, running back to his friends with his tail between his legs.

Finally able to sit, Zoro plopped himself down next to you, muttering and grumbling to himself in annoyance as he watched the man run away.

He let him off easy—only because you chewed him out the last time he "went overboard" and caused an island-wide incident, forcing the crew to evacuate.

He nearly murdered the island's sovereign for calling you out of your name, and doubling down when he told him to watch his mouth.

Tenderly, you grabbed his chin, pulling him in and placing a thankful kiss on his cheek as you handed off his sake.

"My hero," you cooed, teasingly.

With a grumble, he popped the cork with his teeth, taking a large swig with puffed cheeks, before breaking off with a harsh sigh.

As he wiped the excess with the back of his hand, he glanced at the man once again, anger flaring in his chest when the bastard hid behind his umbrella.

Like a goddamn child...

Zoro scoffed, taking another swig of his sake.

"Fuckin' pussy..."

[haobubbles]

Riize when you argue and they have to go on tour

genre: fluff, crack n kinda angst?

tw: no foolproof read!!, cursing

roxy yapps: i publicily apologise for taking so long to post smth😭 with my exam's week and now christmas (having family over ALL THE TIME) i haven't had time but well, here it is!! enjoy and if u can leave some ideas for req!!

── . ★ shotaro

after the attitude of fans at the airport and the fight he had had with you, this boy was quite a mess and was in very low spirit.

known as probably the most energetic boy on this earth, that day he would catch their fans by surprise when, even if his performance was astounding, he sounded more tired than usual and he clearly had his mind somewhere else. when he closed the door of his room in the hotel, after the concert, he made sure to send an apologise to briizes on weverse. without a second thought (after cheking the time of your country ofc) he called you.

"if you just need to, pretend we're fine until i come back home. i can't perform knowing i've fucked up and haven't made things right"

── . ★ eunseok

after having a fight with you, eunseok sent you a message about his departure for the tour, and as he didn't receive any message back, he second guessed that you needed your space, which he decided to give. he was sure you'd reach out when you felt better but the wait was slowly killing him.

on stage, he wouldn't seem as if he just had a fight with his significant other, although he kept on thinking about his electronic device, and if it had buzzed with a message of yours. he definetely acted flirty with the camera, sending flying kisses or winks in hopes you were watching it at home and you knew they were for you.

seeing your messages on his lockscreen made his face lit up instantly, which even if he knew he would be made fun of later, he couldn't care less.

eunseok: did you see me on stage? all those flying kisses and winks were for you

── . ★ sungchan

would definetely be pouty and with big ass moodswings.

on stage, he would be the sungchan everyone knew and loved, however, on backstage he would be (for the couple minutes they have) pouty, with his eyebrows furred and maybe even moody.

his teammates would probably need to take part in it by telling him how much you miss him. then he would call you with all his confidence built up and he would curse them out loud for setting him up.

"well, now that i've called you, let's just fix things okay? i miss you and i dont want to be abroad while having an on-going fight with you"

── . ★ wonbin

number 1 sulky boy. he would be confident about you two fixing your diferences but he hated the thought of getting on stage and being in a fight with his first and most important supporter.

either spam messages or he would go silent because he'd be too scared to say something or do things to worsen the situation. however; he wouldn't wait for you to make the first step.

would deadass indirectly tell you things during his speech "don't forget to tell your loved ones how much you appreciate them, no matter if you're arguing or phisically distant from each other.."

would leave everyone stunned and would low-key be very proud of himself when he would see your message "call me when you have some time x"

── . ★ seunghan

another boy with speeches however, he would take your arguing as a possibility to get you back, so he would put up a romantic act just for you to see (even if he was in front of thousands of people)

woulnd't be too worried because he was confident in deeply knowing you. he knew how you acted when you were mad and how he was supposed to act

"i've started listening to (your fav song) recently but i think it lacks some reasoning, could someone explain it to me?" "can i marry you? oh no, no, my heart can receive all the love from everyone but it can only give it to one person back"

── . ★ sohee

he would be lost. not only about what to do, but not talking to you and being currently not in good terms, it wrecked his routine and his "normality" so he wouldn't be sure on what to do.

i feel like he would need to talk it out with another member to ask for advice on how to make things right. he would be too shy to act bold by hismelf, so that's why he recurred to talk with euseok during the flight. even if the older member told him to just call you and have a proper conversation (which he of course would do) he dedided to add his own touch.

during the concert, he would say some words or constructions you usually used and poses and gestures you usually made. he just wanted to show you that even if he hadn't reached out, he kept you wiht him everywhere, everytime, no matter what.

"please call me or text me when you can. i miss you so fucking bad and i refuse to go on like this"

── . ★ anton

wheni tell you this boy would risk losing his flight because he didn't want to leave while you hadn't fixed things.

if he did really had to leave (or they just obligated him), he would be all the time sending you reassuring messages about how much he loves you, or maybe some memes to make you laugh.

on stage, he would be bubblier and happier than usual, but he would go viral for singing a snippet of 'the reason' of hoobastank. when the fans would ask him later on about why did he choose to sing it, he would dismiss the topic by saying that he just felt like it.

"i hope you liked it..i bet you'll even like it more when you know the boys have been making fun of me for 15 mins now"

[some-triangles]

SOUNDS OF 2024

My ferret wife and I were driving down 82nd listening to KINK FM 102. If you are not familiar this is a radio station that specializes in a particular vocal type - it's a voice that transcends genre, ranging from alt rock to white blues to what I can only describe as the Mumford zone - but the key point is that you will not understand a word the singer is singing. Think Hootie, or Eddie Vedder. Crunched through car speakers it's a sort of audio spackle that tickles the brain with the occasional half-recognizable phrase.

Every six or seven songs, though, they play a classic from the 80s or 90s. On this day we got lucky and it was Major Tom by Peter Schilling. You don't think you know this song, but you do. It's the one where the chorus goes like

Prior to this moment I'd occasionally gotten the "earth below us" bit stuck in my head without having any idea where it came from. Making the connection activated something in my brain and, consequently, in the youtube algorithm, and for the rest of the year all I cared about was Neue Deutsche Welle.

I fell in love with the singer from Trio - no longer with us, sadly. This is a band that you will know from their international hit Da Da Da Ich Liebe Du Nicht Du Liebes Mich Nicht Aha Aha Aha. If you're my age you'll remember this tune from Pepsi commercials, but like Chumbawamba, Trio were a weird art punk band with a fluke chart topper rather than your standard one-hit wonder.

Stephan Remmler was so fucking handsome, you guys. And his tragic Weimar cabaret clown of a drummer. And his mysterious, weirdly femme guitarist.

So I went on a dive. As a whole there is more cod reggae (kraut reggae?) in the NDW catalog than I'm comfortable with but other than that it's a true flowering of DIY weirdness. Start with 99 Luftballons and just keep going... the wall should never have fallen, you guys. RIP to the gulag archipelago but global culture never recovered from glasnost.

Anyway that's what I was listening to this year, except also Kendrick vs Drake happened and suddenly hip hop is good again. You don't need me to tell you about this - there are ten million youtube essays you can watch. I'd just like to encourage everyone to keep an eye on Tyler the Creator moving up as a dark horse candidate for commercial AND artistic success of next year. And that's the really miraculous thing about Kendrick - I can't remember the last time an album I really liked had five songs in the top 10 at once. Because it's never fucking happened before!

Music nerds bouncing off GNX are cheating themselves out of a rare opportunity to like something popular. (Maybe that's why they're bouncing, actually.) But it's undeniable stuff.

Painfully beautiful, and this isn't even what he's supposed to be best at. Pop music is fun and interesting and deep again. You can't relax for a second - even now that Drake has been chased out of rap into the right wing influencer sphere and courtroom trolling, Things are still happening. Christmas day, Tyler smokes Kendrick on his own beat:

And where's Vince Staples? Surely he's got a statement album coming. I haven't even gotten a chance to listen to scHoolboy Q's Blue Lips enough times for the ink to sink in. I've always been a west coast guy where rap is concerned, mainstream or indie, and I've been eating so good...

It's been a great year for me and music, basically. A lot of this has been due to picking up crumbs from Ferret Wife's Kendrick obsession and various other treats she's brought me. From a creative standpoint I've made nothing ambitious but steadily cranking out jingles and silly parodies has made me a better player and singer than I've ever been, and surely there's a sensitive guitar man album in me waiting to come out.

In the meantime please enjoy my contribution to this year's Exit 605 Christmas Album.

[fandomsandflyingstingrays]

Thoughts on the Ithaca Saga!

Spoilers under the cut, obviously

The Challenge

I'd listened to all the snippets beforehand and they did not come CLOSE to capturing the glory of the final song

Anna absolutely killed it, every note she sang was so stunning

And the instrumental? The way it built?? I'm still going nuts over it

10/10 very strong contender for my favorite song in the saga, which I was not expecting

Hold Them Down

Made me very uncomfortable

Which of course was the point so like it was effective

But I have no desire to talk about it more than I have to

(I will say though that I was not expecting Antinous's death to be in that song and so sudden, the gasp I let out was unreal)

Odysseus

Speaking of things that made me gasp: I audibly choked at the open arms bit. I thought I was used to Polites haunting the narrative but NOT LIKE THIS

I listened to this one before watching the stream so that I could be prepared in case the violence got really intense and boy am I glad I did

Like I knew SOMETHING bad was going to happen because of how intense the song got at the end but. I was. Not expecting that

Everyone who sang absolutely killed it though like Jorge's exhaustion and anger? So palpable. The suitors' performance? Incredible

And TELEMACHUS

THE INSTRUMENTAL WHEN HE SHOWED UP WAS SO COOL

And he sounded just like Ody when he sang "get off me, get off me"... my heart

I Can't Help But Wonder

I'll admit I was still too in shock from the end of Odysseus to really process this one at first

But the hug made me lose it

(Both Odysseus and Telemachus's and Jorge's and Mico's I was fully sobbing)

(Also the way Odysseus sang "Telemachus" in the familiar motif. I still can't listen to it without crying frankly)

I will say though literally the only thing in the saga I have any complaint about is Odysseus's reunion with Athena

We had a whole saga about how her friendship with him was still very much on her mind, and buildup to their reunion with Hermes's little hint at the end of Dangerous, and to have them talk about morality for a bit and then for Ody to skeddadle to go find Penelope was... realistic, I guess, but not very satisfying

It's not a huge issue or anything I just wish we could have gotten more of them

Would You Fall in Love With Me Again

Another moment that had me in tears: Drawing_Angie's animatic with all the other animatics in the background. Look how far we've come

I love that Penelope's test with the bed was to help Odysseus realize that he was the same person, that was such a cool twist

Also again, Anna killed it. The raw emotion in her voice at the "I guess that makes him you"? The two decades of anger and fear in the "waiting"s? Unmatched power

GIGI'S ANIMATIC. I WAS LOSING IT IT WAS SO GOOD

Also, the livestream in general was SO much fun. I genuinely can't remember the last time I laughed as hard as I did at the cast's antics. What a wonderful group of people

[drkineildwicks]

So we went and saw Sonic 3 in theaters....

Did it because my uncle paid for it

For context the very last movie I saw in theaters until this one was Sonic 1 so this was functionally the triumphant return

My honest thoughts:

*Crush 40 voice* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I've been singing Sonic music, specifically Shadow's songs, ever since going that movie was excellent I loved it and Mom had to stop me several times from vibrating apart in my seat XD

Also Sonic movie 4 is confirmed??? 2027 let's gooooo

Seriously I was all excited for the new Palworld expansion but after this movie that one has to wait I'm replaying SA2 XD

And it beating Mufasa into the ground is absolutely hilarious to me XD

Now that I've seen it I'm listening to podcasts covering it and the fact that Sonic 3 is showing in fewer theaters and making double the money HA!

And disney trying to lie and getting completely trolled by the fans

Three d's or whatever the lady said that got her arrested but Sonic is handing broke disney its head and I am here for it

Spoilery stuff under the cut, if you haven't seen it yet go see it

Also fair warning this gets long

Okay let's open up by saying that whoever makes these movies are MASSIVE GameCube era fans

Because they were pulling from Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow the Hedgehog, and Sonic Heroes

And Eggman's final outfit was his Sonic 06 one!

Was Gerald's Nega-Robotnik from the Rush games? IDK I only played the second one

They finally gave him his theme song as his ringtone!

I was elbowing Mom and pointing out what was from which game I did this with Sonic 2 as well

Sonic 1 when we came home from the theater I sat her down in front of the TV and booted up SA1 and SA2 and showed her the bits that the movie had pulled from

The guy in the Prison Island control room reminded me of the computer nerd from White House Down but Mom and I can't confirm yet

But he did have Omega on his computer console X'D

Shadow escaping from Prison Island

SHADOW MEETING TEAM SONIC AND BASICALLY REINACTING THE OPENING TO SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG

SONIC 3 WITH A CHAO GARDEN SEGA COULD NEVER

Listen I LIVED in those gardens with SA1 and SA2 I was able to identify every single one of those Chao types XD

THEY HAVE CHEESE THE CHAO!

Me spending 90% of the movie pointing like Leo DiCaprio in that one movie like they did the thing! They said the line! and the rest just vibrating apart

I warned my uncle before going in, multiple times, that I would not be normal about this movie

I am not normal about this movie

And I keep joking with Mom that these movies were tailor-made for her XD

Reason being she liked movie 1 and ever since then they've been adding stuff she likes like Uptown Funk, Shemar Moore, Keanu Reeves, etc.

Now they added the Beach Boys X'D

Also Shadow joining Knuckles on the TV women deserve more respect couch

Seriously was that bit with Shadow and the telenovela a reference to Ghosts of the Future? Did they actually reference a fancomic???

Gerald Robotnik still being alive is interesting and framing it with him having one of Shadow's quills makes me wonder if that energy was what kept him alive

It would explain how Ivo Robotnik survived the end of Sonic 2

And with the fourth movie confirmed and Jim Carrey saying he loves the character, I'm left wondering if he's somehow going to come back again

Like realistically there should be no way but I said that about Sonic 2 as well

Also I love that he's retired but for playing Robotnik at this point X'D

That also makes me wonder if Sonic and company are rubbing off on Tom, Maddie and even Wade the same way

Like realistically Team Sonic was only gone for maybe two days? HOW did they get all that done in two days if they aren't operating at Sonic's speed honestly

Also SONIC HEROES REFERENCE

MULTIPLE Sonic Heroes references because when Tails carries the others it's how they do it in that game, Tails throws Sonic like he does in that game, Knuckles throws Tails like he does in that game, etc.

So I was wondering if they were going to bring in Silver so they could go into Sonic 06 but with introducing Metal Sonic and AMY ROSE they look like they're heading for a combo of Sonic CD and Sonic Heroes

More the latter because they've got like half the main cast of that game by now XD

Oh give me Team Chaotix

Also I'm glad they're evidently going with Amy's later characterizations of being a competent fighter instead of just running into danger because she's boy-crazy

Although when Knuckles was trying to talk Sonic down from using the Master Emerald in his enraged state (coupled with the Chaos energy Shadow could generate) I was wondering if that was leading into Chaos coming out of the Emerald and a SA1 adaptation

Also me telling Mom "he left it with Wade" for the movie to immediately hard-cut to Wade X'D

Knuckles series reference!

That show was good y'all just out here acting like it stole your firstborn you'd have never survived the 00s era

BLACK DOOM REFERENCE

I never finished Shadow the Hedgehog but him using a device that summons a black hole makes me think that was Black Doom tech

Shadow coming down in a meteor that looks like the big eye thing that follows you around if you take the evil route

And I find it interesting that they softened Maria's death from getting straight-up shot

I did not tell anyone in my family how she goes out until after the movie, btw

But arguably being that close to an explosion is worse and there's probably good reason she was in shadow in those scenes

GUN having to account for rings being able to take you anywhere you can visualize was a nice bit of worldbuilding

Didn't like the one lady tho

Don't know who the actress is but I don't think I'm fond of her either so that didn't help

I will say that I agree with Mom on the pacing of some of the jokes, I had that problem with the first two movies as well where a joke went for too long

But in listing the parts I would trim down (the two Robotniks dancing, the first telanovela scene, the bits in the gravity scene, etc.) it's all stuff that couldn't be thrown in because of all the work that had to go into it

Like Jim Carrey had to sit in a chair for hours with the Gerald makeup and then had to film it all twice

On that topic, the line with them hanging a lampshade on him playing two characters didn't need to be in there and made the scene run too long

Look, the biggest thing about comedy is that it has specific timing and if something runs too long or too short it throws the whole thing off

Although I kept expecting Stone to come up to Space Colony ARK with one of the Robotnik vehicles to save Robotnik

Eggman ends up broadcasting like he did before and it's to talk directly to Stone

And to be fair to Stone: after three movies of Robotnik saying he hates organics and only needs his machines, being upgraded to syco-friend is the best those two can do

Like dang Robotnik's out here like help me Max, I'm FEELING!

Robotnik's heart grew three sizes that day

They still managed to destroy the moon with the Eclipse Cannon XD

Shadow hurting so badly from what they did to Maria that he was willing to die firing said cannon and he was actively egging Sonic on and telling him to kill him...ouch

I do want to question them being able to have a whole chat on the moon considering there's no air and no atmosphere

Legit my first thought when they were doing that was Stitch and cousins from Lilo and Stitch: the Series because they didn't need suits either

And when I was picking it apart with Mom over breakfast this morning I eventually reasoned that the levels on Space Colony ARK towards the end of SA2 all do the same thing since if you miss a landing there you go, plummeting towards earth in a fireball

I love that of the three of them, Knuckles was the one who could handle the stress of reentry

My boi is as tough as he says

So is Tom apparently dude should not have survived that

Getting hit in the chest like that can stop your heart, as we found out with that football player a few years back--dude is very lucky his plot armor is thicker than the general's

I also like that Shadow, for all his planning to destroy the world and everything in it, looked like he felt genuinely bad for hurting Tom by mistake

And him and Sonic having that heart-to-heart

LIVE AND LEARN INTENSIFIES

Like they teased the song through the whole movie to have it BLARE OUT IN THE CLIMAX

Me trying to resist singing along in the theater X'D

Also petition to have the scene where Sonic and Shadow shake hands and clasp the others before going super be the new handshake meme

HAVING GUN ROBOTS COME OUT OF THE ARK

"Don't tell me you have your own catchphrase" X'D

Shadow with his motorcycle, casually doing a Ghost Rider straight up Tokyo Tower

Me elbowing Mom when Sonic follows: "I told you he could have run up the side of the Trans-American building in the first movie!"

Mom: "Oh yeah!"

They had the same posters in the background of the Tokyo shots as they did in the game YES

Also I noticed during one of the close-ups that Shadow's gloves have that same little smartphone-friendly patch that most modern gloves have??? In the seventies??? Dang Black Doom made sure he got the good gloves X'D

Like seriously I could pick apart this movie for YEARS it makes me so happy it was worth all the hype :D

I wasn't even expecting the first movie to be any good but three great movies and a TV show Sonic fans are eating good and apparently we're not done yet

I am SO ready \.o./

Anywho *goes back to running outside belting "Live and Learn" at the top of my lungs*

also good stuff for that one BH6 AU

[wouldntbehim]

mix: firstprince (taylor's version)

[bipedalcapybara]

Retreat to the covers from the sound of the rain.

[pumpkinmetaphor]

just saw that a music journalist archived taylor swift's ipod from when she was in high school and made a playlist on spotify of all the songs, in order of most listened to. and her most listened to song was fucking. love addict. by the family force 5. homegirl was watching ouran amvs in 2007 there's genuinely no other explanation to me

[montanabohemian]

since i'm back in my stucky feels, i just need to know why they chose "it's been a long long time" to reintroduce bucky to steve. i mean what in the actual fuck were they thinking if they didn't want us to be absolutely unhinged about them?

[st4rsinthenight]

May your feet serve you well and the rest be sent to hell

Where they always have belonged, cold hearts grew colder songs

Fate will play us out with a song of pure romance

STOMP YOUR FEET AND CLAP YOUR HANDS ~ !!

KILL TONIGHT !!

SHOW THEM ALLLLL YOU'RE NOT THE ORDINARY TYPEEE- !!

★..ermheh★

[rainyinautumn]

So Secret Life is happening. And it's great. And it has potential to be a LONG series compared to other life installments.

Let me explain.

Historically, the biggest killers in the life series are fall damage, PvP, and TNT (if you're wondering how I know this, this is how). Let's look at how each of those makes you dead.

Fall damage gets people in one of two ways: either taking a fatal bit of damage after being almost killed by something else (ex. Tango's final death in Limited Life), or falling a massive distance that wipes all ten hearts in one go (ex. Grian's final death in Limited Life). Neither of these are particularly viable at killing someone in Secret Life, at least not for a while, given all the players have triple the amount of hearts as usual. As for big falls, a lethal fall for someone with a full 30 hearts would have to be roughly 63+ blocks (fall damage is half a heart for every block after the third, with some small discrepancies for tick timings). That's a LONG fall. I'm talking you could jump off the top of the Crastle from 3rd Life and survive just fine. Granted, people won't be on 30 hearts forever, so that number will gradually whittle down, but what's typically a big killer is going to be more of an inconvenience for people with higher hearts.

PvP is the only top cause of death that's based on consistent and deliberate lowering of health, and without the boogeyman, it's not even a factor until someone goes red. Grian has implied, however, that reds will get different (and likely more violent) secrets, so I expect that once one person goes red, things will go downhill for everyone else rather quickly. I'm curious to see how PvP will work for people with high hearts but no regeneration. It'll probably take longer—an unenchanted Netherite axe in the right hands can deal a full 30 hearts worth of damage in just 4 seconds, but against unenchanted diamond armor would take around a full 20 seconds, assuming the person (for some reason) didn't fight back at all. And keep in mind players are allowed to enchant to their heart's content this season. The goal of most confrontations is likely going to be just to put a big dent in another player's health and in the hopes that that endangers them enough to be killed by more natural causes, rather than putting in the effort to wipe them out completely. Reds will likely prefer seeking out players with lower health in order to complete their secrets, but they may have to break the mold if they can't find an ideal target. Additionally, I wouldn't be surprised if some red secrets are something along the lines of "deal [x] amount of damage to a player" instead of just "kill someone."

On to TNT. The idea when setting off an explosion is always to do the maximum amount of damage possible. Explosions are based on power (how hard a thing explodes (4 in the case of TNT and 6 for end crystals)) and impact (how hard the exploding thing hits you). Impact is based on exposure (how close you are to the exploding thing), which varies wildly every time, so it's hard to say exactly how much TNT it would take to kill someone with 30 hearts in one go. My best guess, based on TNT-related deaths we've seen, is probably sixish point-blank explosions (probably best reached with six stacked TNT minecarts). Personally, I would love to find out exactly how much TNT you would need, and I'm sure Secret Life will help me out here. In short, you need a LOT of TNT to kill someone, but iron and TNT can be earned from secret rewards, so it may not be all that hard to get. And players should invest in a piece of blast protection armor (just one, though, more than one doesn't do enough good to be worth it).

And, on top of all this, players can get hearts back. Not without some trials and tribulation, but they have three pretty substantial lives. Sure, people will have bad days (like Martyn) from natural hazards like caving and being exposed at night, but both those things become much easier to avoid after session one or two.

TL;DR—it's harder to lose a life in Secret Life. As long as people are careful and try to hang on to their green/yellow lives, it could easily be the longest life series installment yet.

[girlinthetardis04]

LIVE THUNDER SAGA REACTION!!!!!!

Because I wasn't in time with the other releases sadly, but caw caw motherfuckers it's the 4th of July so happy drop day to ME!

Suffering - Different Beasts

Who's singing? PENELOPE??????

ARE THOSE THE SIRENS????????? Or is this just a dream he's having? Hmmmm...

Penny I'll jump in the water for you! Wait did he say daughter? ...Ody would be a great girl dad tho, change my mind.

OH MY GOD I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THE TRANSITION BETWEEN THE TWO SONGS OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

I FUCKING KNEW IT THOSE WERE SIRENS

"Cut off their tails, leave them to drown" ??????????????

Damn, he's really taking Poseidon's advice to heart, huh?

Wait can sirens even drown, I thought they could breathe underwater... although if they can't move, having their tails cut off and all...hmmm... or maybe they're the classic Greek bird sirens...

Daddy chill 😬

Wait, was it just my impression or did the chanting of "Odysseus" sound like the chanting of "Poseidon" at the start of "Ruthlessness"?

★I love how differently Mr. Jalapeno handled the sirens. In the original Odyssey, Odysseus had himself tired to the mast so he could listen to their song (which highlighted his hubris, that was much more evident in the original text) but having him use the beeswax and read their lips was extremely clever. ★

Scylla

Hmm... Not a huge fan of her voice... Doesn't really fit a monster...

EUCALYPTUS YOU BITCH!!!!!!!

Omg, the "Full Speed Ahead" callback!??!

I genuinely can't understand the lyrics, but I know bad shit is happening. Wait, is that a bit of "Survive" thrown in there?

Nevermind about her voice, it's great 😳

★ Ok, I'm very glad I read the Odyssey when I was 9, because I have a hard time with the lyrics sometimes. I know in this part Ody had to choose between sailing closer to Scilla (which would probably kill up to six men) or closer to Cariddi (which would definitely kill all of them), so I'm assuming this is the bit where the sailors bit it or got bit, as it were★

Mutiny

-Ok, I had to pause here because I was absolutely enraged-

I'M SORRY???? I'M SORRY???? WHO WAS THE BITCH THAT OPENED THE WIND BAG, BLOWING EVERYONE TO WHERE POSEIDON WAS, COSTING YOU 558 MEN, WHICH FORCED ODYSSEUS TO OPEN THE WIND BAG AGAIN, WHICH BLEW EVERYONE TO CIRCE'S ISLAND, WHERE YOU NEARLY LOST THE REMAINING FORTY MEN, AND IN FACT, YOU VOTED IN FAVOUR OF LEAVING THEM BEHIND AND SKEEDADDLING, BUT NOOOO, SIX MEN IS WHERE YOU DRAW THE LINE???? YOU HYPOCRITE

Why does this sound like a fighting game miniboss battle?

WHO JUST GOT STABBED?? ODYSSEUS?????

"Where are we?" "Moo" 10/10, no notes

"Don't open the bag"

*proceeds to open the bag*

"Don't kill the cattle"

*proceeds to kill the cattle*

ODY CANON NICKNAME????

Honestly, 99% of the shit Ody goes through

THE JUST A MAN CALLBACK???????

OH THAT IS IT, EURYLOCHOS, GET OVER HERE, I'M THROWING HANDS

Yeah, ok, as an Odyssey reader, everybody gonna die, I been knew, let's move on.

Thunder Bringer

★LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO THUNDER BRINGER, THE SONG I'VE SPECIFICALLY BEEN WAITING FOR, I'M READY BABY, WHOOOO★

Is that the same theme as in God Games??????

Mr Zeus's voice actor, spectacular job, chef's kiss, no notes. Also I saw the animatic trailer, and at the cost of being smited, I get it. I get it.

The way King of Ithaca sounds so mocking coming from Zeus omg.

I VOTE EURYLOCHOS!!!! I VOTE HE DIES!!!!

The crew. I vote the crew. Ody. C'mon. There's only 40 of them left, what is even the point.

Oooh, the call backs??? This should be called the Callback Saga.

"but we'll die" FUCKING KARMA BITCH, SHOULDA THOUGHT ABOUT IT

★No joke, I love the chorus for this song so much, I just laid on my bed staring at the ceiling and smiling like an idiot 😃 <- me, ca 10 minutes ago★

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all! I am in the mood for some new (to me) music. Do you have any recommendations for songs that make you want to dance? No limits on genre or language, but if you're sending me a link to a specific music video please give me a heads up if it has flashing lights (if possible). Thanks!

[nazmazh]

Now, I might be a terminal nerd, but my mood went from "Why noises?!" when my phone buzzed for this email, to "Ooh, actually yes this is something I am glad to have been notified of"

I will have to wait until I'm back downstairs to give it a listen myself, but here's the link for anyone else who might want it.

[jennycalendar]

"some night, huh?"