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bunni-v1 · 3 months ago

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May we get some crk thoughts, my liege? I too have a hyperfixation—

Shadow Milk Cookie Headcannons (SFW & NSFW)

🍓Thank you for the excuse to write this shit, I feel less insane being asked to do it lol. I still think this might taint my public image, so lets hope none of my future employers fuck with tumblr. Anyway only smc since he's who I'm obsessing over. I was gonna add pv, but I write wayyyy too much to include both of them on one post. Maybe I'll do him if someone asks nicely. I'll have a mix of both sfw and nsfw so beware lol.

MDNI (I'll find u)

TW: Shadow Milk Cookie; Obsessive behaviors; Stalking mentioned; Nsfw under the cut; unedited

Info: Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader; Sfw & Nsfw headcannons

Credit for Beast Bite Idea: @rollingeevee (go give them love I adore this AU)

-To start I'm gonna say, he's insane, like genuinely. He leans into a lot of yandere-esque behaviors, but I firmly believe he's not a full-on yandere, just really fucked up in the head (trauma and such, poor thing, wah wah wah.)

-Pre-Corruption Shadow Milk surely had a lot of admirers, but admiration is very different from genuine love and connection. He was, in a very literal sense, on a different level than all the cookies on earthbread. He's immortal, a god meant to care for all cookies, romantic relationships with cookies (other than the other heroes) just aren't an option in his mind. (For the sake of these, none of the beasts have had any romantic interaction with him, because I don't wanna deal with that can of worms rn.)

-All that to say, it's highly unlikely he has much experience in relationships. Maybe he's had flings, and some sexual encounters, but I doubt he would commit to someone he would inevitably lose to time. And, sure, he certainly could artificially extend their lifetime... but that's unethical and unfair to his partner. The burden of immortality is not one a regular cookie is baked to bear.

-So when he is inevitably corrupted and sealed away, romance isn't really a thought on his mind. He's very fixated on escaping that stupid tree and enacting his revenge. Which he does, at least in part, and with his freedom comes half of his powers and ensuing chaos.

-There are not many ways he could meet you if I'm quite honest, so I'll leave that up to personal interpretation. However you do meet him, though, you have to be intriguing. He gets bored of people easily, so you have to stand out -- be that in your demeanor or the way you speak or how you challenge him, it just has to be interesting. Once he's interested he's hooked.

-He's rather... mmm... obsessive? He likely stalks you for a while before he makes any moves. He wants to learn your patterns, the cookies you surround yourself with, the things you like, your job, your favorite foods, what flowers you like, and how do you feel about his chaos? He'll even manipulate things around you, just to see how you might react. (Is it fucked up? Yeah, lol! But isn't it equally endearing? He seems to think so.)

-You have frequent reoccurring dreams about him in this period of time. You've only seen him from a distance at this point, but you can't quite shake him from your thoughts. What's very important here is that you realize that your thoughts are not your own. Acknowledge that he's watching, and make sure that he's aware you're aware. Be that by purposefully doing something he could recognize as acknowledgment, or outright saying that you're aware he's messing with you. He values curiosity and intelligence in a person, if you can break yourself out of his cycle he's 100% sold on you.

-It doesn't take much longer after that for him to make his first official appearance. Bowing gracefully in front of you as he materializes from thin air, smiling like a man driven mad by infatuation.

-Believe it or not, he's really not all that creepy or pushy. He's very playful and charming, and while you have the knowledge he'd been watching you for a long time at this point, it's hard not to fall for him. He flirts with an ease that no other cookie really has, and he's so very funny never failing to get a smile out of you at his jokes.

-Now, this may go against what others characterize him as a lot, but I don't believe he's the type to steal you away and lock you up. Shadow Milk is a cookie who wants to be wanted, he doesn't want his feelings to be entirely one-sided, it would really hurt him to pour himself into someone who does not want to reciprocate his passions.

-He's unbelievably patient with you. Despite what the mental manipulation from earlier implies, he allows you to set the pace and make the moves, mostly nudging you gently in the direction he wants you to go now that he has your attention. Again, he wants you to choose him. He wants you to love him, so he will happily wait as long as it takes for you to realize and accept your longing for him.

-He gives you the flowers you like, and listens to you talk about your exceedingly boring days (with rapt attention, of course, he loves listening to you talk as much as he loves talking). If you ask, he'll take you anywhere you'd like to go on earthbread with a snap of his fingers, showing you sights you'd only dreamed of seeing. (Whether or not these are illusions are still up for debate).

-It's very hard not to fall for him with all this considered, and he knows that of course. He was just waiting for you to confess, and you have to confess. He won't do it even if you make it clear you want him to. It's not something he'd ever admit to you -- or himself -- but he doesn't want to risk even the slightest bit of rejection. It would break him more than he's already been broken, so you'll have to do it for our poor little jester.

-When you do though? Oh, he's over the moon! Practically swooning as he scoops you up and spins you around in celebration. He's so overjoyed. He is wanted, there is someone in this world who loves him genuinely. There's no false platitudes or any worshipping done, just raw affection between the two of you. (Just the tiniest bit of manipulation at the start, but obviously you've dismissed and forgiven that at this point).

-Again, he doesn't immediately take you away from your life if you don't wish to be. He does heavily encourage you to come spend your days with him, though. He can take care of you, he's literally a god, you'll never ever want for anything so long as he can control it (which he can, duh).

-I feel it very important to emphasize that in a relationship with him, you are equal. Even if you literally cannot be equal in stature and power, you are equal in the relationship -- if anything you have more sway over him than he does over you. He's very, very in love with you, and he will do just about anything you ask of him so long as it doesn't interfere with obtaining his souljam.

-Having established that, let's get to the fun stuff.

-Shadow Milk Cookie is very physically and verbally affectionate. If you are around him it's likely he's touching you in some way. Whether that's him literally hanging off you like a baby monkey or just a hand on your arm, he likes to have a physical tether to you.

-Plenty of messy wet kisses all over your cute little face, he loves seeing you get all flustered and feeling your dough burn up from his barrage of affections.

-It's also very common for him to carry you around in various different styles. Over the shoulder, piggback, princess style, like a sack of potatoes... doesn't really matter. It's also a regular occurrence that you fall asleep as he floats around the spire of all knowledge. He doesn't need sleep, and he does not sleep often, but he likes holding you while you do so. It's proof of your trust in him, and he usually uses the time you are sleeping to be more genuinely affectionate. Soft words whispered in your ears bringing you sweet dreams as he runs his hands up and down your back, kissing the crown of your head with such love it would make a grown man blush.

-He calls you cute little nicknames, like shortcake or sweet thing. The most common, and his favorites, are doll/dolly and little star. (Little star is something he hums with such affection it makes you weak in the knees. You know he's feeling more adoring when he uses it.) Talks about how cute you are, how pretty you are, how desirable you are. How any cookie would be so lucky to have you -- too bad they could never compete with him!

-That being said, most of his affections are pretty surface-level stuff at the start of the relationship. At least, what you get to see. He has a hard time opening up to others, he's a very sensitive cookie deep down in his dough. It takes quite a while to get him out of his shell and start showing you who he is as himself.

-Who he is, is a very aching cookie. He lost so much, struggled with his own corruption, and still hasn't fully accepted it himself. He feels as though he has been betrayed and discarded by everything he once loved, it's no wonder he has a hard time showing you such ugly sides of himself.

-You warm him up, melt him slowly, and you get to see peaks of genuine love and adoration behind those heterochromatic eyes. He may never allow you to see all of him at once, but you do get to know him. If you continue to love him despite seeing the uglier side of things, there is a distinct shift in the way he showers you in affection.

-Initially, he's very showy with everything, his love is a spectacle for the two of you to watch. It's almost like he's put himself outside of the relationship rather than in it. After he opens up, it's quieter, more intimate. He's more involved in it, like it's less about showing you how much he loves you, and more about sharing that mutual feeling between the two of you.

-You didn't have much room to show him how much you cared for him, but now you do. He allows you to initiate physical affection and doesn't flinch away at the touch. He accepts your words of admiration for what they are, not questioning your intentions for any reason.

-Kisses are softer, more full of emotion. Less like he's drowning you and more like he's trying to swallow you up. Desperation to have you as close to him as possible can take him over quite frequently during make-out sessions, and they leave you breathless and fuzzy rather than burning and flustered.

-Now, you can't write Shadow Milk without acknowledging how fucking jealous he is all the time. Now, I believe it's less of a jealousy thing (though, that really is something that is frequent), and more of a possessive/protective thing.

-He doesn't get jealous of the average cookie, alright, not unless you show interest for whatever reason. They're not really a threat to him, and why would they be? He's secure enough to know that you wouldn't leave him for some random half-baked simpleton. HOWEVER, he DOES get jealous of the other beasts and especially Pure Vanilla Cookie.

-The other beasts aren't as powerful as him, but they're still powerful and cunning (some of them at least). Truly, on a level of divinity and ability to care for you, they are his closest competition. Even still, he only gets jealous if one of them seems to want to stake a claim on you, or you become too fascinated with one of them.

-If neither is the case, he highly encourages you to form relationships with them. They are cookies that, seemingly, he cares for. While they can be difficult to get along with, if you are someone Shadow Milk deems worth his time, you are someone they will also deem worth their time.

-Ah, I should also mention he gets... pouty about Black Sapphire and Candy Apple. He doesn't see either of them as a threat, so I couldn't say he's jealous... he just gets annoyed when you're being attentive to them when he's around. Black Sapphire is smart enough to set hard boundaries with you to start, for both of your sakes, but your relationship with him is very positive. You are Shadow Milk Cookies partner, after all, you're a very important Cookie and Black Sapphire has no reason to be unkind to you.

-Candy Apple Cookie on the other hand is the one who's jealous here. You find her positively adorable and her little crush on Shadow Milk is nothing but endearing in your eyes, but she very much is huffy about your relationship with him. Of course, she can't do anything to you, that would only turn against her in the end so she just pouts. You can win her over slowly, though, just by being sweet to her and comforting her when Shadow Milk rejects her once again.

-Your relationship with them seemingly pleases Shadow Milk, though you can't really tell if he's happy or not. Sometimes he seems pleased, other times he's pouty, so who really knows other than him.

-However, the cookie that really seriously gets under his skin the most is Pure Vanilla. He does everything in his power to keep the two of you as far away from one another as possible, but it's almost inevitable that you meet PV, especially when he becomes Truthless Recluse.

-Pure Vanilla is everything Shadow Milk is not. Kind, gentle, patient, soft-spoken, and of course truthful. He's very afraid you may meet PV and realize that you do not want to be with him anymore. You would rather have someone like Pure Vanilla Cookie to dote on you in a fashion that he cannot bring himself to do openly yet.

-Of course, you don't, but that doesn't stop the fear from seeping into his dough. The only way to ease him is by being patient and displaying your loyalty through and through. He won't really be calm until Pure Vanilla is take care of, but you can assure him that you won't be leaving him for his other half anytime soon.

-Circling back to his possessive and protective tendencies, Shadow Milk does see you as an object of his affection. He is fully aware you are your own cookie, you are not something he ever wishes to control entirely and remove autonomy from, but you are his. His to keep and love and protect.

-He's very obsessive about your well-being and happiness. If something hurts you (alive or not), it's gone, destroyed. He won't even make a show of it, it just disappears. If you are upset, he is there doing everything to make you feel better. Whatever you want, whatever you need! He's here for you, please rely on him (he needs you to rely on him).

-If you are out and about he keeps an eye on you, which you are aware of. It's rather obvious, so even if he doesn't tell you, you can feel him watching you. Ignoring it becomes easier with time, but if anything happens to you he wastes no time in popping up and taking care of whatever happens.

-This leads into my next headcanon (inspired by the ever-talented @rollingeevee go check them out!), he has a bite of sorts that he uses as a means of monitoring you. It's something he uses to pinpoint where you are at all times, even when he's not monitoring you actively. The bite acts as a connection between you and him, emotionally and physically tying the two of you together.

-You can feel what he feels through the bite, anger, sadness, joy, pretty much anything he feels you can feel. It also acts as a reminder to you that you should not stray too far from where he is, sending an uncomfortably heavy feeling through your dough. (This is a manifestation of his worry, and it only really happens when he notices you've gone somewhere a little too far from the safety of the spire).

-However, this goes both ways. He can also feel what you feel at the same intensity that you feel it. You can, likely less so, also tell where he is. There is a pull in the back of your mind from the magic telling you where to find him at all times, and it only lets go when you are in proximity of him. If you miss him, he feels the same heavy feeling in his dough reminding him that you would like him by your side.

-Now, finally, we have to address the topic of mortality. Shadow Milk is likely more aware than you ever will be of how mortal you really are. This is why he's so very protective and possessive of you, he doesn't want to lose you prematurely.

-However, if you are okay with it, he is completely fine with artificially extending your life span. In fact, he does it happily. He might even start doing it without asking if the topic hasn't been broached in a certain amount of time. He wants to spend as long as you'll allow him by your side, and if that means breaking a few rules of magic and cookie society then so be it. He's a god after all, he doesn't have to answer to anyone (other than the witches).

-Anyway, let's get to the shit you freaks are really here for. (Me, I'm freaks.)

-I don't really think sexual intimacy is something Shadow Milk desires all that much, but he more so likes it because it's... interesting? I'm sure he derives physical pleasure from sexual intercourse, but less so than the average cookie might. Most of his enjoyment comes from seeing you enjoy yourself.

-It goes without saying, but Shadow Milk Cookie is a freak. He's into pretty much anything under the sun (except maybe one thing...), and so long as you're down to try something he's happy to oblige you.

-He is a switch, but he leans dom most of the time, and you won't get him to sub early on in your relationship. That requires a bit too much trust for him, so he'll need time to be cool with giving you that kind of control over him. But he will bottom for you as your relationship progresses, and that's a whole different side to him.

-Lets start with him in a dominant role, though, since it's more common to get from him.

-Obviously, he's a tease, through and through. He loves to watch you squirm and react to the things he does. Tantalizingly light touches drawn over your dough, teeth grazing your soft body almost piercing but never quite getting deep enough, heated breath blown over your most sensitive spots but never relieving you with his mouth as you so desperately need.

-Truthfully he could spend another thousand years just tracing over you, committing each inch to memory until he's satisfied in knowing every inch of you. Unfortunately, (or fortunately), he's not nearly as patient in the bedroom as he is outside of it. Not with all of you on display for him, so trusting and open, ready for him to defile you. Oh, his sweet, sweet little dolly~

-Even with his impatience, his teasing does not stop. His hands continue to ghost over you, making sure you're still squirming even as he succumbs to his need to taste you.

-Oh, and tastes you he does. He doesn't have to subscribe to regular cookie physical limitations, so he somehow manages to swallow you whole. Jaw unhinging so he can get as much as he needs from you, tongue splitting itself to give you attention everywhere, and god is it long and dexterous. He can reach so very deep and it moves with such precision, it makes you cum embarrassingly fast.

-That is if he allows you to cum in the first place. He's a big fan of edging, which shouldn't be a surprise. He likes to get you so close, then deny you of your pleasure. Your whining and grumbling is the cutest thing on all of earthbread, don't you know? He can't help but edge you when you're so damn cute every time.

-Your pleasure is in his hands, and it requires such relinquishing of power and trust. In a weird way it makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside, especially when you thank him over and over once he finally allows you to come undone after hours of teasing.

-Speaking of, he is a big fan of being praised for the work he does on you. Your moans and pleas are reward enough, but if you mumble out about how good you feel, how much you love him, how amazing he is he'll become drunk on your praise. Chasing after it with fervor, meaning he's going down on you with so much more excitement somehow.

-He's into blood (jam?) play. He likes leaving physical reminders of your relationship all over your body (yes, even ur vag/dick if you let him). With how sharp his teeth are, it's impossible for you not to bleed when he does so, and he does really like the sight of your jam. It's so pretty and so different from his own, another reminder of how different you are, and how much you trust him. (He'll lick it up and purr at the taste.)

-Bruises are also littered about your dough, his grip on you is tight, like you might slip away from him. The treatment is rough and harsh, but it feels so nice to be manhandled by him. The bruises are just nice little reminders of who you belong to. (He gets all proud when other cookies worry about them, like he's done something worthy of praise).

-He likes watching, he's very much a voyeur. Occasionally requests that you pleasure yourself for him so he can watch you struggle to get off, and he'll only help you out when you're near tears begging him.

-He prefers coming across you by himself, without having to request it. Or just feeling waves of pleasure through your bite. He'll watch you quietly fuck yourself without letting you know he's there. (Though, you most certainly can feel his eyes on you, that's what makes it so fun right?) Sometimes he'll join you after, and other and times he'll leave you be, it's 50/50 either way and regardless you still end up happy.

-If anyone else walks in on you when you're alone, he's very unpleasant. Accident or not they'll learn to be more aware of their surroundings next time.

-That doesn't mean he's against being watched though. Actually, he finds the idea of someone else seeing how well he treats you enticing (especially if it's someone like Pure Vanilla hehe). If you are together and someone walks in (or spots you in public), he won't stop. Instead, he'll lock eyes with them and smile big and wide, showing off his favorite little dolly for them.

-He's just so proud of you, and you're so very pretty beneath him, the whole world should get to see how you fall apart for him. He'll even make you look at them just to see how you fluster.

-If the offender tries to do anything other than watch, though, well... I really hope they didn't want to live for much longer. He's very much not a sharer, at all. The idea of anyone even thinking they could touch you and make you feel good both makes him laugh and want to tear them apart at once.

-He's very much into roleplaying and can get really into it. To the point, it loses the sexiness and is just the two of you playing around, which can be a bummer but is usually really fun. He likes things that lean into power dynamics but explicitly avoids god/king and worshipper/subject. A little too close to home for him, and would honestly be too boring and basic for him.

-He loves it when you dress up for him in pretty little outfits, be it lingerie or something more cutesy, he adores it regardless. Going out of your way to pretty up for him is a huge turn-on. He also loves it when you let him dress you up how he likes. Regardless of what you're wearing, it's not coming off the whole night. It will get ruined and he won't apologize for it. Besides, he can just replace it, right?

-Sex is more fun for him, but he can be intimate when he wants to be. Usually, when you're in control, he is at his most gentle. Yes, he's a brat when he bottoms and he'll fight you tooth and nail, but once you get him to submit he's the softest and sweetest you've ever seen him.

-He looks at you like you're the god, wide eyes taking in everything you do with such admiration it might make you crumble on the spot.

-He's much quieter, treating it less like a spectacle. Moans soft and squeaky, like he's not used to using his voice in such a way. He clings to you like a vice at each little movement, almost afraid you might disappear if he lets you go.

-Oh, and he praises you so much. 'So good', 'Thank you', 'You're perfect', and 'I love you' all tumble from him with such genuine gratitude.

-Being allowed to let his guard down and have you take control is cathartic for him, which is why it's so uncommon to have it happen. It's why he fights you for control so hard because this is an intimacy he isn't used to. It is hard for him to allow you to see him so weak, but you never use it against him. You're so very sweet and loving, and it makes him melt like butter in your grasp.

-If you have the bite I mentioned earlier, it only makes things so much more intense. Both of you can feel the raw emotion connecting the two of you, making the pleasure heighten further.

-In fact, when he gives you the bite it's the first time he allows you to top him. To connect you to him makes him very vulnerable, so he would naturally have to be in a vulnerable state already when he does so.

-It's unlike any of his other bites, it's far more painful when he initially bites down, but when his magic flows through it your body feels light and airy. The pleasurable feeling wrapping itself around your spine, and you feel what he's feeling. All that adoration pours into your being at once, and it's overwhelming to really feel how much he loves you.

#bunni's treats 🧁#x reader #shadow milk crk #crk #cr kingdom #cookie run kingdom #shadow milk cookie #shadow milk cookie x reader #shadow milk x reader #shadow milk cookie crk #put me down bro

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rafeysbunny · 5 months ago

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Ok rafe doing coke with the reader and then having a fuck fest 😌

a/n. this has been sitting on my asks for a while now, i really hope you get to see it anon! thanks for the request!

you are giggling softly as rafe's finger gently rubs a tiny bit of coke onto your pink gums for the second time tonight, the effects of the drug already kicking in —even though he was careful enough not to give you too much.

is it bad that you love getting high with him?

you can't help but suck his digit in a playful manner before he finally pulls his hand away, a thin thread of saliva stretching in between his finger and your lips as he takes it out of your mouth.

"now stay still for a sec, baby," he mutters, pouring a bit of the white powder for himself over your sternum.

your shirt is laying somewhere on the floor of his living room, boobs on full display while he does a line on your chest using his credit card —he has been insisting on doing this all night, and it's not like you can deny him anything.

every little brush of his fingers lights your skin on fire, more than it usually does, and you know that's the cocaine doing its thing. your little nipples are hard, panties already wet as you watch him lean forward to snort the cocaine from between your tits, his tongue sliding all the way up your flesh where the coke was just laying when he's done so none of it goes to waste.

you gasp in response to his actions while you reach out to tangle your fingers in his soft, blonde hair. you give it a slight tug, knowing how much he loves it when you do that, and you're rewarded with a little grunt of his own.

he leaves a trail of wet kisses all over your chest, collarbone and neck as he makes his way up your body, aiming for your lips. he kisses you like he's starving as his large hands force your thighs open so he can slot himself in between them. you're both panting when he breaks the contact.

"how you doin', baby?" he asks breathlessly, lips still brushing against yours while he talks, "feeling good ?"

you nod in response. "so horny, rafey," you pant out, your hips unconsciously bucking up to grind your pussy against his cock over your clothes, desperate to feel him.

"suck a needy, little slut, huh?" he chuckles darkly, wrapping a hand around your slender neck.

he's just as turned on as you are, his hard dick throbbing insistently inside his pants while he stares at your semi-naked body squirming beneath him on the couch. your breath hitches slightly at his rough grip and you can feel your cheeks blushing when he grinds back, the friction making you shudder.

"dirty girl... so fuckin' desperate for cock," he murmurs hoarsely.

his calloused thumb gently presses against your pulse point —feeling your fast heartbeat there, while his free hand reaches out to grasp the waistband of your shorts and yank them down your smooth thighs, exposing your black lace underwear. when he slips that same hand inside your panties, he finds you soaking wet for him.

"drenched already ? haven't even touched you properly yet... what a pathetic whore," he taunts.

he smirks against your flushed cheek as he pushes two of his thick fingers inside your tight cunt, and your pussy flutters around them. the dirty talk, added to the degrading words sent your way, has you turning to putty in his arms.

"gonna fuck this slutty cunt the way it deserves, you hear me?" he says, curling his digits inside you to hit your g-spot. when you moan and nod eagerly in response, he adds, "yeah? want me to ruin this fuckin' perfect pussy? words, baby."

you shiver at the demanding tone he uses with you, his raspy voice filling your ears and striking just the right chord in your brain to make your pussy drool.

"yes, need you to fuck my pussy so bad," you answer between pretty whimpers.

"you're gonna get it, a'right."

he's quick to get rid of your remaining clothes and then he undresses as well. once naked, he grips your hips roughly to turn you around, bending you over the couch. as he positions himself behind you, his hands are restraining you, one of them forcing your head onto the cushions so your back is arched while the other is pinning your hands at the bottom of your spine.

when he finally thrusts into your sloppy cunt, you're seeing starts behind your closed eyelids as you let out the loudest moans he's ever heard from you, which only motivates him to fuck you harder, hips slamming roughly against your plush butt and pussy squelching lewdly around his cock. he'd make you cum again and again, fingers bullying your swollen clit until you're begging him to stop, pretty cheeks wet with tears. only then, he allows himself to cum.

"baby, fuck, so good f'me," he'd moan while he fills you up, dick throbbing inside your spasming cunt as he fucks you through his orgasm, "such a good little slut."

more.

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sleepymothafterhours · 3 months ago

Text

Torture to Love You, Can't Live Without You

Zayne x Reader angst

Reader is not MC, MC Dies so I guess you could call it major character death? Angst with kind of no ending?

---> Part two here <3

Fic warnings: Death, grief descriptions, unhappy marriage but they're literally just grieving,

This fic is not beta read, and has been edited to the best of my ability,

Word Count: 4,000

Divider credit in my pinned post <3

Full fic under the cut, I have a part two planned out if this fic does well,

At the end of the day there was always you and her. You'd never be her but you were content with that, in school she was a good rival and maybe at first it used to irk you how special everyone seemed to think she was but as you got closer you realized she never asked to be treated that way. Tara had introduced you, such a social butterfly that girl. On missions you fought well, you worked together with ease often getting paired up on more dangerous outings. The day she died it was like part of you went missing. You could only imagine how it was for her close friend.

The day she died haunted you like a ghost. It would've been you, i could've been you. She didn't have to do that for you.

She didn't have to do that for you.

You sat in front of Jenna's office with a letter in your hand. You'd been on leave for months, stuck with office work to do at home to ensure you at least got paid so you could live while you were recovering. The time was fast approaching for you to either go back to the field or pick something else. Everyone you knew expected you to go back. In a lot of ways it felt like a dishonor to your dear friend not to. But you just couldn't. No amount of therapy took away the nightmares and so far no amount of meds was taking away the pain in your body from your own injuries. No doctor could clear you for the field with the level of pain you were still experiencing. You didn't want to go back anyway, you were scared. You waited outside her office for her other meeting to finish.

What you hadn't expected was for Dr.Zayne to walk out of that room. Too busy staring at him and wondering why he was here you entirely missed what he was saying to you. "Are you alright?" He asked kneeling down to your level, he held a cup of water out for you. You took it gratefully, "I'm alright. Thank you, Dr.Zayne." You two only spoke in passing, even out with your mutual friends. "I trust you've been well? Since.." He trailed off like it pained him to talk about the accident, you nodded. "As well as I can. That's why I'm here. I'm leaving the field." You said, a hint of regret in your voice. Zayne nodded, by the time his mouth opened to say something the doors to Jenna's office were open, and you were already on the way inside.

---------

That was all you saw of him for a year and a half. You didn't keep up with him, and it wasn't like he actively sought you out. It was probably a miracle you even found each other again. He found you in your favorite coffee shop of all places, after you'd finished teaching your classes. Teaching exhausted you, but it kept food on your table, and in the words of others, ensured you could still honor your friend. Regardless, you sat in your corner of the building sipping hot chocolate and working on a research paper about protocores. You'd written a few things on wanderers, architecture in Linkon, whatever seemed to catch your interest for the moment. You spotted Zayne first, though you almost didn't recognize his face. It was strange how someone could change so much after just 18 months.

Had you changed that much?

Or did you still look the same as you had that day.

The thought of it made your skin crawl and you focused on your computer to get it out of your mind. You didn't notice his approach.

"Do you make a habit to tune out everything around you?" His voice brought you out of it, closing a tab as you looked up at him.

"Doctor, what a pleasant surprise." You said moving your computer to invite him to sit down. "I don't mean to ignore you. I was just focused, I do a lot of work here. Do you come here a lot as well Doctor?"

Zayne gives you a slight smile and you can't help but cheer internally at the gesture, "Please, just call me Zayne." He says, his gaze lingers on you as you slip your computer into your bag. "Don't let me interrupt your work. I should be off anyway." He says moving to stand again, you still don't know why you stopped him.

"No. No trouble at all. You can only read so many articles about the rise of protocore modifications before your head starts to spin. Sit with me? Please?" You don't know why you keep talking and Zayne doesn't know why he's sitting, he really ought to be heading back to the hospital.

Maybe you were both drowning and maybe it was just easier to sink together.

Maybe that was why things happened the way they did.

The two of you talked for hours. It was refreshing the way he didn't bring the accident up. The way he didn't bring up losing her. You suspected it was as much for your benefit as it was for him. After a year and a half of pulling yourself through the trenches you finally found yourself talking to someone who made you feel, normal, it was like coming up for air after being trapped in a lake.

"I am happy to see you well after everything." Zayne says after a moment. "Is teaching future hunters as fulfilling as you found hunting to be?"

The truth? It nowhere close. But you don't hate it.

"It has its moments. I do enjoy what I do. And after everything I.." You trail off, struggling to find the right words. "I'm happy I could find a way to stay in this career. Regardless of what I'm doing." It was the most roundabout way you've ever told someone no, and you can tell that Zayne sees right through it. You wished you could have stayed.

He nods, "Maybe fate will take you back." He said giving you an almost soft look.

"You've written quite a bit about your research on Protocore syndrome right?" You ask, the silence that had drawn between the two of you becoming too much to bear. He nods, "Are you going to the gala in a couple weeks? They're celebrating some of the works that recently came out. I thought I saw you on the list they sent out."

He nods again, "I admit I was hoping to see you there." His ears redden as he says this and you can't help the smile that comes to your face.

"i was hoping the same. Everyone else is some old far or some posh snob who's never actually seen what its like out here, Ya know?" You take a sip of your drink, now long cold, "It'd be nice to have someone there that I know." Zayne nods his agreement to this and the conversation moves on for another hour, until you have to leave.

You thank him for sitting with you for so long, picking up your bag and discarding your drink. He stops you again before you can leave the table.

"Do you wanna go to the Gala with me?" his words make your heart skip and you find yourself nodding before you can even really put thought into it.

---------

Zayne came crashing into your life similarly to the way a snowstorm did, expected but sudden. He was always there in a lot of ways during your time as a hunter, you had enough mutual friends to at least know of him. The transition from acquaintance to friend was so subtle you didn't notice, you met weekly for coffee at the cafe when you could, or he'd find you there after work.

Then suddenly you knew his coffee order, and were taking him coffee and dinner during late nights in his office.

There were nights you would talk, and the two of you would have dinner in his office, you'd never been around someone who was so easy to talk to, Zayne just understood.

At one point you'd stayed to talk so long that you ended up eating dinner together, it was dark by the time you went to leave, and Zayne had insisted on taking you home.

He'd kissed you that night. After months of you thinking he was uninterested in anything more than simply colleagues.

You both got so busy that after you could do hardly more than text each other, it took a month of wondering if he'd meant to do it or not, a month for him to ask you out.

He proposed after four years, conveniently the night before another gala much like the one you'd gone to together before you got close.

Once again you were both being recognized for a lot of your work and researches, him, a deeper dive into protocore syndrome, you, a paper on how Evols affect personality traits and how that can be managed for people with more explosive evols and personalities. You used your relationship with Zayne a lot in that paper, with two completely clashing evols it was hard sometimes to get by.

Fire and ice,

maybe that was a sign you should've thought about before.

---------

You looked like the perfect couple. For awhile you felt like it too. You couldn't tell what happened. The two of you were doing better finally. You honored her every year on the day, holding each other and helping each other get through your grief everyday. You knew he loved you. You knew he loved her and you respected that. You understood as well as you could.

After your honeymoon you fell back into your routine, teach in the day, take Zayne lunch during your time to plan, go home and grade papers until he gives you a call that he should be home within the hour. You made dinner and the two of you spent time together until you fell asleep on the couch. Zayne would carry you to bed despite the countless times that you told him to wake you.

You couldn't pin point the day it all started going down hill. But you knew that it had something to do with the mission that dragged you back into hunting, the intercom ringing in your ears and the voice of an OTTO bot calling for every trained hunter in the building. Every student was to go back to their dorm. You tried, to leave with the students, with a soft spoken, "I don't do that anymore." said mostly to yourself as you followed students out to the dorms.

That was until you heard the cry. A little girl trapped under a building, you ran before your feet could keep up with you, the grace you learned in your training never left you, a hunter caught up with you, a student from a few years back. He helped you lift the bean that had trapped the girl and looked to you for direction. "Get her to safety and meet me a few blocks up." You ran the other way the minute he nodded right towards danger, right where you weren't supposed to be going.

Right where you wanted to be.

After the fight you assisted with cleanup, carefully avoiding the eyes of your old boss as you helped a little boy step into an ambulance. Zayne found you shortly after, sitting on a stump and bandaging your arm, people had begun to go home but the cut was pretty bad and you wanted to take care of it before you left.

"You're hurt." He said kneeling down to take the bandages out of your hands, "This is too tight, let me help?" His voice was soft, you couldn't tell if he was worried, angry or both. You nodded and carefully he unwrapped the bandage and began to clean it. "Sorry I broke routine tonight." you blurted, you weren't really thinking when you said, wrapped up in the crackling of a fire somewhere near you, and his laugh filling your ears. A laugh?

"My love. You're bleeding, but you're sorry for..breaking routine?" He looked up at you befuddled, his hands stopping their work on your injury. You shrugged, "You never cease to amaze me." He said after a moment. "We're going home. And we're ordering whatever you want for dinner and you are going to rest." His voice was more firm than normal and when your boss came over to you finally he seemed to stand slightly in front of you as if to keep her from taking you from him too.

She joked about you coming back, you told her you were just following instruction. The announcement called for all hunters. You politely declined her offer and stiffened when she joked about how you could make more if you came back. Zayne brushed her off for you, saying something about getting you home to ensure your arm healed.

The silence in the car home was almost unbearable. "She's right ya know." You said softly, "I'd make a lot more back in the field." Zayne kept his focus on the road but you could tell the words bothered him.

"We don't really need it. You and I are doing just fine." You slumped back in your seat at his words. "You never did it for the money anyway. Do you want to go back?" He asks and you can't answer right away. The answer used to be no, you used to be too scared but somewhere down the line you missed the danger, you missed the fire you had within you that had dimmed after the accident. Your evol felt suppressed from only being used to heat the forgotten teas you took to work or occasionally to light a gas stove.

You'd smothered your fire as best you could all these years but yet it still seemed to roar within, and consume you with every passing day. The answer should have been no but you couldn't bear lie to the man next to you.

"No." You waited too long to say anything,

"You've always been bad at lying." He's stopped at a light and turns to you to move a piece of your hair, you can see he almost looks defeated when you say nothing in response to this.

--------

If you could have pinpointed the minute, maybe even the second that he had started being distant from you, colder even, maybe you could have prevented it, but it was so hard to realize it was happening when he acted the exact same in public as he had before. He followed his routines almost to a T but he spent more and more time at work. Often coming home to you asleep on the couch waiting for him, until eventually he found you already in bed when he got there, always careful not to wake you when he climbed into bed. You could pinpoint the night he stopped holding you by the way your heart began to ache for it immediately.

It took 3 months to transition back into your old job and ever since it was like you lived with a ghost. He was gone when you woke for work, he was gone when you came home but there was always a dish in the drying rack and a paper on the counter that he had left behind to prove his existence. At least you could be sure he hadn't moved into his office even though every other piece of evidence told you otherwise. The times he was home with you it was like he was on another planet, that was if you could get him out of his office at the house for more than two seconds. His affection had a cold bite to it that made you stop seeking it and when he looked in your eyes it was almost clear all he saw in them was her. His coldness did nothing but make you more persistent at first. But after so long you just grew tired, you loved him with everything in you couldn't he understand that?

You liked to imagine that there was another life where you both weren't so different. But maybe in another life he ends up with her in the end, maybe there's a universe where she isn't a wedge in your relationship maybe you won't be together in this life, not the way you want but in the next... Maybe you just have to wait. What a cursed thin g love was.

He stood in front of you now for the first time in months, Tara had invited you both for drinks after work, a nice little place just a block away from your house, you were gonna walk together.

"You look lovely." He says and there's a flicker of something in his eyes that gives you hope that maybe he's looking at you for real this time, but then its gone. He's looking right through you.

Your response is as calm as you could manage to be, "I'm surprised you noticed."

The two of you left, making the walk there in a comfortable silence. Zayne played the dutiful husband role well. He held your hand, he held open the door for you, took your coat, pulled out your chair. To anyone else he looked so smitten with you, and you him. You shook your thoughts out of your mind, you were here tonight to have fun.

You didn't drink often, nor did you drink much. You figured offering him a sip of your drink would be fine, and he must've too because he took it. The way he scrunched his face in disgust made you giggle, he took a bigger drink than you thought he would. "Here, have some water, are you okay?" You ask pushing a glass of ice water to him. He waves you away, takes the glass and drinks but tells you to focus on your friends.

You forgot how much of a lightweight he was. One drink was enough to get him at least tipsy? It would have been funny, if you weren't concerned.

You'd been talking to Tara. who gushed over the two of you whenever she saw you. "Really i don't know how you two do it. You looks so happy all the time." She's smiling as she speaks, the only time you've seen her without a smile on her face was just after incident, it used to annoy you how one person could be so happy but you found yourself unable to frown whenever she's around now.

"Trust me Tara I don't know how we do it either sometimes." She doesn't know how much truth there is to your words. How this is the first time in almost a year that Zayne has been so close to you. How this is the first time in months you've seen or talked to him for more than five minutes. That this is the first time he's wanted to be around you since you became a hunter again.

+++

Zayne only seems to get drunker as the night progressed despite the fact that he hadn't had anything else but water.

"I think I should get him home." You said giving your friends a smile, you'd paid for your drink, the one you hadn't finished, too busy making sure your husband doesn't fall out of his seat. You help him up, he's not exactly hard to move but the man is stubborn. "Baby c'mon, lets home, I'm tired." He concedes finally at your words and you walk home. He's leaning on you for support the whole way out of the bar, even as you nod to your friends and wish them a good night.

You have to stop for a little while, sitting him down, the air is cold. You try not to shiver. "How'd this even happen huh?" You tease him softly, holding his face in your hands. It feels normal for once.

"I'm sorry my love." his words are slurred and he notices your failed attempts to hide your shivering, wrapping his coat around you clumsily. "I love you." He's looking straight through you again through unfocused eyes.

"Do you." Its not a question. You two walk leaning on each other until you reach the house. You drop your keys trying to unlock the door. When he hands them to you, you hear it. A mistake. A slip of the tongue. Maybe he could claim he was drunk but it was clear.

He'd called you by her name.

You didn't say anything. He tried covering his mistake, you said nothing. Pushing past him into the medicine cabinet in your kitchen you grabbed water and ibuprofen and took some. You slid past his attempts to be close to you guiding him to your room.

He's distraught, you feel like you're falling to pieces. "Lie down." You instruct. "You're not gonna feel good in the mor-" He interrupts you as you're trying to cover him in a blanket.

"Talk to me. Please." He's pleading, his voice breaking, it used to hurt your heart to hear it, maybe it still does but you can't feel anything right now other than anger, you feel like your on fire.

"You're drunk."

"Talk to me." There are tears in his eyes.

"What is there to say, Zayne. You called me, by your dead best friends name." You sit at the edge of the bed. "I can't b angry I know you loved her. I know you want her. I just wish you wanted me the same way." You get up and go to make your way out of the room. You need to calm down, maybe you'll go for a walk, or have some tea.

Flicking the light off you hear it. A quiet sob, and a small "I'm sorry."

You can't help the words that leave your mouth. "Don't bother."

The light is off and the door is shut and you the minute you sit down on a stool in your kitchen island you break down. You felt like two puzzle pieces that fit together just fine but were from two separate puzzles. You took time to put yourself back together, eventually getting up to go to your room, apologize if he was still awake and go to bed hoping to fix whatever rift has been growing in your relationship. Your hand is on the door, you just need to open it.

Your phone rings.

You can see the light come on from your hunter watch in the bedroom.

Ignore it. Go to sleep. Fix this. That's what you're telling yourself.

You answer it before you can stop yourself.

"Hello?" Your voice cracks from your breakdown.

"Hey." Its a newer hunter, you'd been working with her for months. You were too scared to get closer to her but for now you didn't mind mentoring her. "Got a mission. You're on the way can I come get you?"

Her words are so scarily similar to what you told your best friend that night. You turn away from the door. "Let's go then."

How strange the universe was in the way it worked. How strange the parallel was. You put on your uniform in silence. Zayne had fallen asleep as far as you knew. You stopped by his side before you left, kissing his head softly. You don't say anything else as you leave.

Unbeknownst to you. He wasn't asleep, he heard the whole thing. He too noticed the parallels. He wouldn't sleep that night. Or the night after.

He was losing you and he didn't know how to stop it.

You were losing him and it felt like someone was carving your heart from your chest.

Sleepy moths after thoughts: Everytime i went to work on this fic I either got called into work, or my friends wanted to hang out, thats why it took so fuckin long. Hopefully the wait was worth it, Thanks for reading and thank you everyone who supported this fic <3

Taglist: @theink-stainedfolk , @alfredosaws , @sylv-1a , @cordidy , @leighsartworks216 , @midiplier , @melonssoup , @sw3etfawn111 , @dhunhdchrih , @i-messed-up-big-time , @fandomenbylover , @notisekais

@theophxbia cus i know pookie probably wants to read it (ILY BESTIE)

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ahgasegotarmy116 · 3 months ago

Text

Who Is My Heart Waiting For? | Jeon Jungkook | One Shot

Summary: Getting closer to one of the staff members on tour didn’t seem like such a bad idea…that is until Jungkook realizes that his feelings for her are more than just platonic. Pairing: Staff f!reader x Rockstar!Jungkook (pov) Word Count: 14k~ (I've legit been working on this since July lol) Warnings: Explicit language but that's it a/n: I made this with Jimin in mind (since it's his song) but no one was really vibing with it (unfortunately) so I figured I'd change it to Jungkook. I hope you guys like it! Inspired by Who by Jimin (Rock Remix)

"Ayo JK!" our keys player Tyler calls out as we all stumble through the green room doors, throughly exhausted after playing our third encore of the night. "Did you see the way that little hottie in the front row was looking at you?" he says, his description of whatever girl he's talking about incredibly vague.

"You'll have to be a little more specific Ty, there were plenty of hotties in the front row" I throw back, rolling my eyes and opening the water bottle one of the staff gave me. "The little blondie in the red dress?" he offers, his description yet still vague helps me sort through the girls that had been screaming our names throughout the show.

"She was practically drooling" he continues poking fun at her and I can't help but want to shift the attention away from her. "I mean I would too if I were her" I say, throwing out a cocky comment like I always do. It's no secret that I know I'm hot and after that concert high it takes a second for me to come back down to earth.

"You're the front man for a reason I guess" our drummer Zach says, sticks still in hand, tapping on whatever surface he can reach. "Don't give him a bigger head than he already has Z" Asher our lead guitarist says, rounding out the rest of our band with Leo our bassist chiming in soon after.

"Gotta give the man some credit though. I think I saw a girl pass out after he made eye contact with her" he teases, leaving Zach clapping me on the back making me stumble from the sheer force of it.

Leo chuckles when he sees the glare I send Zack's way but it's gone when he slumps down on the couch next to him. "Thanks" I grumble while rolling my shoulder, him being the one chuckling now, the intensity he had been using while banging on those drums still in full effect.

"Anyways" Tyler says, bringing the conversation back to where it had started "I bet she's still out there...waiting for you...hoping she'll be your girl for the night" he taunts winking to add fire to flame my protest against the idea.

"You know I don't do that anymore" I mumble, walking over to grab my phone and seeing that Sage is still blowing it up. "Why don't you just block her? She's obviously psycho if she thinks that you're still gonna go back to her after all the shit she put you through" he says, bringing up past memories from my last relationship that I would really rather forget.

"Ty stop" Leo warns, coming to my defense when he sees how tense I've gotten from the way he's been bad mouthing my ex. "Why? We all know she deserves it" he presses, leaving me balling my hands into fists, seriously considering shutting him up but when I turn around Ash's hand is already clamping down on my wrist.

"Just let it go" he mumbles, leaving me relaxing my hands knowing that he's right but I'm still ticked off.

"I need some air" I huff, pulling my wrist out of his grasp and shoving the back door open, leading to the fenced off parking lot behind the venue, a convenient place where I can breathe in the cool night air.

It's become a routine I'm accustom to whenever Tyler gets on my nerves at this point and after clearing my head for what feels like mere moments I hear footsteps making their way over to me.

"I don't wanna hear it Ash, I'm fine" I sigh, my back resting against the side of the building, head hanging low, focused on the rocks I'm toying with.

"I'm not Ash" the voice says and my head pops up, watching as the familiar form gets closer. "And I didn't come here to lecture you" she says, mirroring my posture and leaning up against the wall beside me.

"Hey Strings" I mumble the name I gave y/n, one of our newish staff members. "You probably heard all that huh?" I ask and she shrugs her shoulders. "Not all of it but I'm pretty sure I got the gist of it" she admits, shoving her hands in her hoodie to shield them from the cool breeze that's blown our way.

"You should head back inside. I don't want you to catch a cold" I nod towards the door and she scoffs. "I should be the one saying that to you Mr. Lead Singer. Last time I checked we still have a couple more shows left" she scolds and I chuckle under my breath, shaking my head.

"What happened to not lecturing me?" I raise a brow at her and she crosses her arms, biting her tongue and going back to keeping her promise.

"As long as you're out here, I'm out here" she argues and I mirror her posture.

"Don't come crying to me when you feel like shit in the morning" I say and she scoffs in response "Then you better not come crying to me either" she says and I smile, knowing that she'll be at my mercy if I need her.

"That's your job though isn't it Princess?" I say, my voice dropping and I relish in the reaction she gives me. Her eyes widen a bit but if you blinked you would've missed it and she turns her head to hide the fact that my words effected her.

"Don't call me that" she mumbles and I laugh, bumping my shoulder against her's, "You know I was just teasing you y/n" I say and she shakes her head. "Don't call me that either" she protests and I can't help but want to keep toying with her.

"Why not? That's your name isn't it?" I say, poking her in the side, making her jump and whack my arm without hesitation. "It's Strings, anything else sounds weird coming out of your mouth" she says and I smile.

"I thought you hated that name" I chuckle and she sighs, "It's...grown on me" she mumbles and I hum, content that it seems we've gotten closer.

"Seems like you've gotten a lot better at restringing our guitars though so I might have to come up with a new nickname for you. Perhaps Sticks" I say, tapping my chin and remembering how she dropped a box of Zack's backup drum sticks the other day.

"Strings is just fine since it might as well be carved into my skin from all the times they broke on me" she says in reference to the many many times she had messed up when she started working with us on our last tour.

"I'll never forget the day we met" I say and she cringes, "One hell of a first impression huh?" she scoffs, still embarrassed to this day.

"Well when your first impression of your new crew member is a shy 'Hello' and the next second their thumb is getting sliced open by a rouge guitar string then yeah I guess you could say that's one way to be remembered" I chuckle and she slides down the wall, resting on her heels and curling up into a ball.

"Oh come on it wasn't that bad" I say, crouching down next to her but she shakes her head, "I'm never gonna live that one down huh?" she groans. "Probably not, but it was a great ice breaker...or I guess skin slicer" I say, trying to make a joke out of it but it doesn't go over well when she groans again and refuses to say anything else.

"You're lucky I was able to take you to the hospital since everyone else was busy" I say, my teasing nature with her relentless as always. "I wouldn't call it lucky since I had to listen to your whiney singing the whole way there" she retorts and I gasp, feigning offense but this is the same song and dance we have every time this memory is brought up.

"People would pay to hear this whiney voice sing. Oh right...they do" I retort and she huffs, standing up to lean against the wall again and I follow her in suit.

"You alright though?" she asks and I breathe out, trying to figure out how to keep my temper in check. "I swear that man is more interested in getting me laid than he is in himself" I say and she chuckles, listening wordlessly and waiting for me to get it all off my chest.

"I don't understand why he's so obsessed with the fact that I'm not sleeping around. Sage and I broke up right before we went on tour and all he's been doing is trying to pawn me off to whatever girl he's noticed has got her eye on me. If he doesn't have a girl on his arm yet then he's concerned about getting one under mine" I ramble and she nods along.

"He claims it's gonna help me blow off some steam but the only time I feel the need to do that is when he's ticking me off again" I finish, trying to slow my breathing so I don't get myself too worked up again.

"He's just trying to look out for you but I will admit he's probably not going about it in the healthiest way...but he means well" she tries to remind me and I know she's right, but something about the way he goes about it just rubs me the wrong way.

"Yeah I know" I mumble running a hand through my hair in an effort to brush off the emotions this whole ordeal is bringing me.

"You wanna get out of here?" she asks making me chuckle. "That's my line" a wicked grin spreading across my lips making her push off the wall and walk away. "Suit yourself" she says, brushing off my teasing as me declining her invitation.

"Hey wait up! I didn't say no" I protest jogging over to her and draping my arm around her shoulders, leaning on her so she stumbles and tries to push me off.

"You're pushing your luck here" she says but I wrap my other arm around her as well and follow her to the car that's parked next to the tour bus. "Liz gave you the keys?" I ask, surprised that our manager is letting her take the car for a spin.

"Not in so many words. She told me to look after you so I figured I would need a car to do that properly" she relays and when I walk over to the drivers side first and hold out my hand she tosses me the keys.

"If she tries to chew your ass out about it just tell her it was my idea" I say and she rolls her eyes before we both sink down into our seats. "Can't have my favorite staff member getting fired now can I?" I say and she sighs. "Don't let Liz hear you saying that or I'll really get fired" she warns and I turn the key in the ignition to start the car.

"Everyone knows you're my favorite, Strings" I say and she crosses her arms over her chest and slumps down into the seat. I take that as a good reaction since she usually gets shy when I say stuff like this but I'll have mercy on her this time and just enjoy our night together.

"So what's the plan?" I ask, putting the car in reverse before heading to the exit and out onto the street. "Turn left" she says and I smile, "So it's a surprise huh?" I say and she rolls her eyes. "It's more of you don't need to know until we get there, plus it's not anything crazy so don't get your hopes up" so I do as she says and follow her directions that take us to a diner on the other side of town.

"How did you know where this was without looking it up?" I ask, getting out of the car and walking with her to the entrance. "I have my ways" she says and picks up the pace, leaving me walking behind her and watching her make it there before me.

She's a peculiar one I'll give her that.

"Come on loser let's go! I'm hungry" she calls out and I scoff and jog over to her. "Hungry? From what?" I say and she glares, looking me up and down. "From taking care of you guys all day. What else?".

I know she works hard but it's fun to tease her like this.

"Sitting back and relaxing while admiring me" I say and she rolls her eyes, so much so that I would be concerned that they would get stuck at the back of her head if she tried to do it again.

"More like running ramped and being at all of your beck and call. Do you know how difficult it is to take care of five man childs and one very strict overlord?" she scoffs, the last part in reference to our manager.

"Man child?" I say crossing my arms and she nods her head without hesitation. "You sure there's five of them? And all this time thought we were friends" I pout but she doesn't give in.

"What would you call what we're doing right now?" she asks, sitting down at the booth that the waitress leads us to. "A date?" I say with a smirk on my face and she shakes her head and starts looking through the menu.

"More like feeding a whiney hangry baby who needs my help to survive" she say and now I'm the one rolling my eyes. "I swear, your favorite insult is getting a little bit tired isn't it?" I say and she smirks.

"Well what would you call that thing that you do when you're singing then?" she asks "A cry or sometimes a growl depending on the song" I tease, throwing an arm around the back of the booth leaving her sliding away from me to create some distance but I slide towards her to keep her close against her best efforts.

"Why do you always feel the need to be so close to me?" she grumbles, accepting defeat once we're almost all the way at the other end of the booth with one good scoot, had she taken it leaving her falling on her ass.

"Because I like being close to you. Plus you're always mumbling whenever we're in public places so this is the only way I can hear you" I reply while making excuses and she scoffs, muttering something inaudible under her breath.

"See I couldn't even guess what you could've possibly said" I say to prove my point. "Because it wasn't for your ears dumbass. Now figure out what you're gonna eat before I let you starve" she says, shoving a menu towards me.

I chuckle and flip through it and eventually we're giving the waitress our orders leaving me turning to face Strings once she's gone.

"Why do you always treat me like a nuisance when we're out in public?" I question and she takes a very long sip of her water to avoid answering right away. "Because you are" she answers and pulls her phone out to check a message that just came in and when I see the name 'Alex' pop up on her screen I get a little disheartened for some weird reason.

When she unlocks her phone I catch a quick glimpse of their conversation and it's full of messages planning for them to meet up. "Who's Alex?" I ask and she locks her phone immediately.

"A friend, not that it's any of your business" she replies curtly and her pointed answer kicks me in the gut. "What kind of friend?" I ask, trying to get more information before making assumptions but she gives me nothing.

"Just a friend alright?" she says and takes another drink of water making me let out a sigh, scooting back and giving both of us some air to breathe. She takes it as a chance to respond to the messages and when more come in I catch a hint of a smile and I scoff.

"What?" she asks, clearly confused with my reaction. "Seems like they're a lot more than just a friend from the way you're smiling at their replies" I nod towards her phone and she locks the screen again and places it in her bag.

"Fine, happy?" she says, showing that she'll give me her full attention now in hopes to change the subject and before I have a chance to try the waitress comes back with our food. "Did you two lovebirds need anything else?" the middle aged woman teases, trying to lighten the mood since she can clearly sense the hostility between the two of us.

"Oh we're not toge-" "Could we actually get some hot sauce? My girl loves her food extra spicy" I say, cutting off her denial of our suspected relationship. "Of course" the woman says and takes a bottle from another table and places it right next to Strings. "Just give me a shout if you need anything else" she says and I thank her before she heads off to help another table.

"I don't like hot sauce" Strings says, pushing the bottle away from her and I chuckle, "Yeah I know, but I do" I say and add a few drops on my burger. "You're so weird" she says before popping a fry in her mouth. "At least I don't eat like a child" I retort and she glares at me.

"Chicken strips and fries are the safest option okay? They're hard to fuck up. Unlike the monstrosity of a burger you got. Can you even fit that thing in your mouth?" she asks, watching as I pick it up and smush it down, trying to make it a little easier on myself.

"Only one way to find out" I say, opening wide and doing my best to take a bite but half the topping spill out the other side and she chokes on the water she had been sipping, finding my struggle hilarious. "Yeah yeah laugh it up" I say, rolling my eyes at her and grabbing some napkins for the both of us.

After we both clean up to a certain extent she looks between me and the burger, "You know famous people are supposed to keep up some sort of an image right?" she teases. "Don't remind me" I groan and rest my head against the wall behind us.

"Come here" she says a few seconds later and I look at her questioningly but sit up nonetheless and when I get close enough she grabs my chin and looks at my lips. "What are you do-" I start off but the next second she's placing a damp napkin on the side of my mouth to wipe off whatever sauce that was clearly still on my face.

"Now hurry up and finish eating. Liz will kill me if I'm the one that's keeping you out too late this time, plus I told her I'd bring something back for the rest of the guys too" she informs, tossing the napkin to the side as if that didn't just happen.

I clear my throat and sit back again, eating a fry or two, thankful that my hair is a little longer now otherwise she would've see how red my ears had gotten from something as simple as that.

I stay pretty silent through out the rest of the meal, nodding and humming when a verbal response is somewhat needed since I'm trying to limit the need for me to talk to her after she threw me off like that. Constantly keeping food in my mouth as an excuse to hide my flustered state.

"You're gonna choke if you don't slow down" she says and an image comes to my mind that I would rather not admit leaving me fulfilling her warning and choking on the rest of the burger I had in my mouth.

"I swear it's like you need me to take care of everything at this point" she teases, rolling her eyes at me and giving me the rest of her water so I can clear my throat after half of that bite got lodged in my windpipe.

After getting it all down and being able to breathe again I thank her sheepishly, thoroughly embarrassed with the scene I just caused but luckily the eyes that were watching us were little to none. Our only audience being some men who clearly just got off their overnight shifts and a few drunkards trying to sober up before going home.

"You alright?" she asks after having waved the waitress over to take our to-go order as well as bring over a couple more glasses of water. "Yeah I'm fine, it's just really good" I say, coming up with a subpar excuse and she narrows her eyes at me but takes my word for it.

"Just take smaller bites if you're gonna finish the rest of that, I can't have you throwing up when we get back to the hotel" she warns and I nod my head before taking another bite and making sure to do as she says this time.

"I'm glad you like the food though, I've been here a few times but I've always just ordered the same thing so I was scared that you wouldn't like it. Plus it was the only place around here that was still open so there wasn't really any other option" she admits and when I'm about to ask her why she knows about this place the waitress comes back with the order.

"That was fast" I say and she thanks the waitress before responding to me. "I placed the order a while ago so they were almost done with it and just waiting to box it all up" she says and I nod.

"You know you're really good at this stuff" I compliment and she looks over at me, clearly confused. "Ordering food? It's a pretty simple skill I would think" she says after standing up and grabbing one of the bags but when she tries to grab another I'm quick to carry the rest.

"Well yeah, but like planning things out so that everything is there on time and having back up for everything no matter if it's something like equipment or even a wardrobe change if the guys are being more careless than usual" I say and she nods her head, now understanding a bit more but she just shrugs.

"It's kinda my job to be good at that stuff otherwise I would've gotten fired a long time ago" she says and I shake my head and thank her as she holds the door open for me since I'm the one with my hands completely full otherwise I would argue for it to be the other way around, even though she hates when I do stuff like that.

"I'm here to take care of you and your needs so I'm pretty sure I'll survive if I open the door for you" she would argue but I always win no matter what she says. Although we've come to a compromise with me graciously allowing her to open the car door for herself but even that was a struggle.

"Strings I know you're all independent or whatever but that doesn't mean I can't be a gentleman" I would say when she first started working for us but she would be so against it no matter what.

"Just go live your rockstar life and let me fade into the background alright? I don't need anyone staring at us because you're the one taking care of me" she argues back and although she's right I'm not the kind of guy to let this all go to my head.

Have we had some mishaps because people have seen the two of us alone together? Yes, but that's not something I was ever worried about.

Well maybe not until tonight...

"Do you know where we're going?" she asks me, referring to the hotel we're staying at but I honestly have no clue so I toss her the keys and get in the passenger seat this time and throughout the whole drive I can't help but steal glances at her.

"What's wrong?" she asks when we hit a red light and I'm shocked that she caught me.

So much for being sneaky about it.

"Nothing. Why?" I ask, playing the fool but she doesn't fall for it. "Am I the one with something on my face now?" she chuckles and starts driving again when the light turns green, the roads almost empty making the red lights only last a second.

"No" I say and look out my window so I'm completely turned away from her. "Then why do you keep looking at me?" she asks and when I try to come up with something I luckily find a questions that's been bugging me all night.

"How come you know your way around town already? I mean we haven't had to pull up directions or anything. It's as if you somehow memorized the whole city" I say and she chuckles. "Maybe I did" she teases but I don't believe it for a second. "That's a bit of a stretch even for you Strings" I chuckle and she scoffs at me.

"I thought you said I was good at my job?" she counters but I can't hold my laugh back. "I think I've known you long enough to know that navigation isn't your strong suit" I tease and she shakes her head.

"Remind me to never take you out again" she grumbles and I coo at her. "Aw come on, I'm only joking. You can't just leave me alone to fend for myself with those guys" and she turns into the parking lot and turns off the car once she's parked it around the back next to our bus.

"Aren't you supposed to like your bandmates?" she asks, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the back door to grab some of the food while I do the same with the rest of it. "Of course I like them, but not as much as I like you" I tease and she rolls her eyes at me.

"Sweet talking will get you nowhere Jeon" she says, using my last name to create some playful distance between us. "Aw come on Strings don't call me that...unless you want me to start calling you y/n again?" I taunt and she shakes her head.

"Do and die" she warns and opens the door to the suite a few of the guys are sharing which happens to be where everyone is waiting for us with baited breath from the looks on the guy's faces.

"Where have you guys been? We thought you had left us here to starve" Leo whines, playing it up as if they hadn't already ate the food Strings ordered for them after the show.

"Didn't you guys eat like five pizzas already?" y/n asks placing the food down on the table and stepping back real quick, learning from past experience how they like to pounce whenever there's food around.

"We did but we're growing boys" Tyler says, his face already stuffed with a huge bite of his burger. "You're twenty six" y/n argues and he furrows his brow, "So? I grew five inches the last time I checked my height" he says after swallowing his way too big of bite and drinking one of the sodas that came with their meals.

"That's because the last time you measured yourself before then was when you were sixteen" Zack teases and Ty throws a napkin at him but the smile is wiped off his face once he sees the glare Asher gave him, daring him to throw something again. "Whatever" Tyler mumbles and focuses on eating his food while the rest of the guys pick up the conversation.

"Aren't you guys gonna eat too?" Ash asks but when y/n tries to respond I jump in and hook an arm around her shoulders. "She took me out on a date so we took our sweet time eating together" I say pulling her closer to me when she tries to get away.

"No, I had us eat there since you guys had already devoured all the food I had brought after the show and I was starving and couldn't wait to eat until we came back" she argues while trying to push me and wriggle out of my hold leaving me eventually loosening my grip when she pinches my side.

"Enough, no fighting with the talent. If you wanna fight someone you can fight Zack" Liz scolds while coming out of no where and picking up one of the drinks, absorbed in her phone no doubt checking in with the venue for the next stop on our tour.

"You're only saying that because you know I can't take him huh?" y/n points out and Liz hums in response, grabbing the bag out of my hand that y/n had set aside for her leaving Zack teasing y/n trying to convince her to arm wrestle him or something like that but I leave them behind, opting to follow Liz to see if she knows anything about this 'Alex' character.

"Haven't heard of 'em but from what you've told me it's probably some guy she likes" she offers before taking a bite out of her burger. Looks like all of us were craving burgers tonight but I can't help but notice how unsettled my stomach has been ever since I saw those texts.

"They talked about meeting up though so I'm a little bit confused about that since she's still working for the next few days right?" I ask, having taken note that her days off are usually Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

"She asked to switch her days to tomorrow and Monday. Now that you mention it though she had talked about bringing a friend to the show. I guess you'll figure out who this mysterious Alex is then. Or you could always, ya know, ask her" she says nodding towards where Zack has somehow convinced Tyler to arm wrestle him instead while y/n is on her phone again, trying so hard to ignore them but losing the battle and peering over ever once in a while.

I can't help but shake this weird feeling again and it's driving me nuts. What it could be I have no clue but I decide to just push it aside and head to bed for the night, hoping I can somehow sleep it off.

"I'm heading to bed" I announce to no one in particular but y/n jumps at the chance to follow, her being just as eager to get away from the madness as I am. "Take me with you" she begs and I chuckle and nod, both of us looking over at Liz for approval. "Yeah you're done for the night" she says, waving her off and y/n visibly slumps in relief.

"Just try to keep your phone near you tomorrow. I'll try not to need you bu-" "I'll be there if you need me. Thanks for switching things up for me" y/n says cutting Liz off and she sighs.

"The fact that you're leaving me with this miserable lot on a show night is inconvenient but you've been working hard so go enjoy your time. We'll still see you at the show though right?" she confirms what we had talked about before and y/n nods.

"I'll put your name down for two tickets at the front" she says leaving y/n thanking her again before the two of us leave, throwing a goodnight over our shoulders on our way out.

"So two tickets huh? You bringing Alex?" I ask, addressing the elephant in the room and she hums, not giving me much to work with so I nod as we make the trek back to our rooms which happen to be right across from each other this time around.

"Are we okay?" I ask, hating the air that's settled between us making her look at me, utterly confused as to why I'm asking this. "Yeah...why wouldn't we be?" and I let out a sigh of relief yet I still don't fully believe her.

"I don't know. I feel like it got a little awkward between us back at the diner so I just wanted to double check" this is weird, I've never cared about stuff like this before. I usually just let the misunderstanding stew until things boil over or we eventually stop caring about it.

But not with her...I need to make sure that everything's alright.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow night yeah?" she asks, cutting the night short as we stop in front of our rooms while she fishes her room key out of her tote bag. I don't want to leave things like this between us. I want to spend more time with her, just to make sure that things really are okay.

"Do you-" I start off, making her turn to face me since she had already turned away to open her door. "Do you think you could introduce me to this Alex guy? Wanna make sure he's alright, you know? Can't have my girl hanging out with a loser now can I?" I tease and she smiles a little wider than I was expecting which somehow confuses me even more.

"I'll introduce you after the show" she agrees and I'm shocked that there's no push back about it. From the way she was responding to me earlier you would think that she wouldn't want to bring him anywhere near me.

"I'll be the one in the spotlight" I smile and she rolls her eyes,

"Goodnight Jungkook" she says and disappears into her room before I get a chance to reciprocate her sentiments.

"Goodnight y/n" I mumble, staring at the place she once stood before turning around and getting my key card out to open my room.

"Well that was pathetic" I hear Asher say as he makes his way down the hallway. Did I mention that we're sharing a suite...per usual? "Fuck off Ash" I grumble, opening the door and considering locking it behind me but I don't want y/n to hear us bicker.

"What? I'm just sayin" he holds his hands up in surrender but he's quick to back down since he knows how touchy I can get sometimes, especially after what Tyler pulled earlier tonight. "Yeah well don't" I say, walking through the common room and into mine.

"So who's Alex?" he asks, pushing a bit but I know he's just trying to talk me through all of this since I clearly need to. "Strings says he's a friend or something. She's bringing him to the show tomorrow night but that's all I really know" I say, taking off the rings and the rest of the jewelry I'm still wearing before kicking off my boots and getting a bit more comfortable.

"I thought she said she was single?" Ash says and I come out of my room and lay down on the couch, my mood getting worse and worse as this conversation progresses.

"Yeah I thought so too but she was smiling and giggling at her phone which I've never seen her do before so it makes me wonder..." I say, trailing off as Ash sits on the arm chair next to the couch, the set up to an onlooker resembling some sort of therapy session.

"So you're not gonna tell her?" he asks, his vague question making me sit up just enough the rest on my forearms. "Tell her what?" I ask and he rolls his eyes as if the answer was so obvious. "That you like her?" he says and I sit up completely, looking at him as if he had grown two heads.

"You're joking right?" I scoff and he shrugs his shoulders. "I saw it coming from a mile away dude. I'm surprised you haven't even admitted it to yourself yet" he says, getting up and taking his jacket off, throwing it on the bed and following suit in taking his jewelry and boots off too.

"I don't like her. I mean she's a friend and I like having her around but I do not have feelings for her" I deny, making my stance clear but it takes a lot of effort to actually say that and even when I get it out it feels as though I'm lying to him. I don't like her though...right?

"Whatever you say man" he says turning his shower on and walking back out to talk until the water heats up. "But from what I saw back there" he nods towards the door, the one just on the other side being to y/n's room. "It seems like you were about ready to tell her to not bring that guy to the show tomorrow night" he finishes and I shake my head.

"I think you've been watching too many dramas dude. Y/n and I are just friends, I'm just looking out for her" I explain and I watch as he puts a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. "Keep telling yourself that...but don't forget to thank me later when you realize that I'm right" he finishes and heads into the bathroom without another word.

I scoff and head into my room to take a shower as well and wash off all the sweat and smoke that are no doubt stuck to my skin and try to let the memories of everything that had happened after the show wash away.

The words that Asher said keep echoing in my mind though and I can't shake the fact that maybe he's right, leaving me analyzing and over analyzing everything about y/n and I.

Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep that night.

~~~~

"Rise and shine gorgeous" I hear Ash say, turning my lights on and casually tossing a pillow at me. "Fuck off" I groan and he laughs, the same old song and dance every morning that we're on tour. To be honest though, I'd prefer that over Tyler jumping all over my bed like the hyper active knucklehead he is and I especially prefer it over Zack abandoning me and leaving it to Liz to come wake my ass up.

My ideal wakeup call would be Strings coming to get me but the last time she did I pulled her into bed and she retaliated, kicking and punching me until I let her go. After that there were no more wakeup calls from her, and even if there were she would opt for a tactic similar to Asher.

"What time is it?" I groan, rolling around to grab my phone but of course it's dead. "It's eleven thirty. We need to leave in thirty minutes so we can head to the venue for rehearsal" he says and I hum in response, rolling out of bed and dragging my feet until I'm dressed and ready to head out.

~~~

"Alright everybody that's a wrap" Liz calls out after we've finished up rehearsal, the staff all clapping politely before heading out, only to return a few hours later for the show.

We stumble into the green room like we did last night, slumping on the couches and resting after a good two hour rehearsal and my voice is shot to say the least.

"You gonna be okay tonight?" Liz asks, handing off the hot cup of tea one of the venue staff gave her. "I just need to rest my voice for a while" I say and she places a hand on my shoulder, trusting me and going to address the rest of the guys.

"You guys sounded great today so I think we're all good to go for the show tonight. Anyone got any complaints?" she asks, knowing there's always something someone's gotta say.

"Yeah, where's y/n?" Tyler asks making my ears perk up even though I know the answer already. "She's taking the day off but she's gonna be at the show tonight" Liz says and the group sighs, making her cross her arms over her chest.

"Is that a problem?" she cocks her brow, daring someone to say something and the brave soul this time being Leo pipes up. "Well she just usually has all the food ready for us back here when we're done with rehearsals" he says, trailing off when he realizes how stupid his little comment is.

"Food's on it's way children. I swear people would think I starve you from the way that you're all acting" she mutters and pulls out her phone when a notification pops up. "But some of us didn't eat breakfast!" Tyler whines and she holds up her hand to silence him.

"Not my fault that you slept through it" she finishes and leaves the room when her phone rings, no doubt another person asking her the millions of questions they might have about us and the next stops on our tour.

"Did you guys see y/n before she left this morning?" Leo sighs, slumping back into the couch, this conversation getting a lot more interesting now.

"No" I respond, needing to know more about it. "She was wearing this flowy dress with her hair and makeup done. She looked...girly" he says and Asher chuckles. "I mean she is a girl" he teases but Leo keeps going.

"Well yeah I know, but she never dresses like that. As far as I knew her whole wardrobe consisted of converse, jeans, baggy hoodies and our band tshirts. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her wearing makeup before" he says and I roll my eyes.

"You obviously don't pay enough attention to her" I mumble and I know I've fucked up as soon as those words left my mouth. "And you do?" Zack asks, clearly way more interested in the conversation than he was moments ago.

"I mean yeah, cuz we're friends" I say, grabbing a water bottle off the table and chugging half of it and I watch with horror as they exchange knowing glances between each other. "Right... friends" Leo says, clearly unconvinced.

"So you guys really were on a date last night huh?" Tyler asks, clearly getting the memo as to why I've always denied his suggestions of hooking up with some of the girls from our shows.

At least he'll give up on that mission now but he's got another one in mind without even trying to find it.

"No, she just took me there so I could get away from your nosy ass for a while" I say to him and he scoffs as if he was offended when he knows damn well what he did.

"Makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. You guys have been getting pretty close this time around. I guess I never really thought that you would be into a girl like her" he continues and the more I come to defend her the more obvious it is to everyone how I feel about her.

"Oh yeah? And what kind of girl is she?" I say, gearing up to tell him off since she's not here to do it herself. All of us knowing that she wouldn't accept any of our help no matter how stupid he's acting.

I would say out of all of us the two of them are the one's who have a clearly fabricated sibling rivalry.

Although everyone of us fights with him every once in awhile. It's never anything deep but he tends to jump at being annoying as hell at any opportunity that arises.

"Well a little bit more on the boyish side in terms of fashion, up until I saw her this morning. Kind of standoffish at times, nags all of us" He lists off and I honestly can't deny that that's the way she comes off but the fact that it's Tyler talking about her behind her back bugs me.

"That's because that's her job" I come to her defense which makes all of them smile wider. "Whatever, fuck you guys" I grumble, admitting defeat this time since I want them to stop looking at me like that.

"So that's why you're stressed about her bringing a date to the show tonight huh?" Leo chimes in and I scoff. "It's not a date, according to her they're just friends" I say, not believing a damn word of it.

"You know this is her hometown right?" Zack chimes in, connecting all the dots now. "It is?" I ask for confirmation just in case they're fucking with me. "You think he would've known that by now" Leo taunts, gaining a glare from me.

"We don't talk about stuff like that" I say, trying to figure out some sort of excuse as to why I haven't bothered to ask her a simple question like that. Makes me feel like shit honestly. Some friend I am.

"And what do you talk about?" Tyler asks, teasing me again. "Everything...nothing, can we change the subject?" I ask nicely, choosing a different tactic this time but it's no use.

"You sure you don't like her?" Leo asks leaving me shaking my head.

"Nope" I deny.

"She's just a friend yeah?" Zach chimes in.

"Yep just a friend" I say getting up to make some more tea to hopefully help me relax after this inquisition.

"So you wouldn't mind if I asked her ou-"

"Finish that sentence and I'll chop your dick off" I cut off Tyler, surprising even myself with how quickly I responded

"Right, friends" He smirks, satisfied with how he got me to pretty much admit it with the other guys as his witnesses.

"You better make a move dude otherwise when the tour is over and she comes back home she's gonna end up with that Alex guy" Zack says, patting me on the back like he always does and yet I'm still never prepared for it, stumbling and almost dropping the cup of lukewarm tea I was planning to refresh but honestly all I feel like having now is a stiff drink.

I open the door to the green room and head out with Asher planning to follow after scolding the guys but I bump into the person that was coming in. I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her close before she falls and as a result we're met with a bunch of 'ooos' and 'awwws' from all the guys but I can't be bothered to shut them up yet.

"I'm sorry I should've paid more attention to where I was going" I apologize to the woman in my arms and it takes me a second to realize that it's y/n. "Strings?" I question and she rolls her eyes, pushing against my chest and stepping back, putting some much needed space between us from her perspective.

"A girl changes up her appearance for one day and suddenly she's unrecognizable" she mumbles and pushes past me and into the green room with me immediately trailing behind her, forgetting what I had planned to do mere moments ago.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had the day off" Leo asks the question all of us clearly want the answer to. "Liz told me that one of you guys weren't feeling well and asked me to bring over some cough medicine" she says, holding up the bottle of said medicine.

"Look at that JK, she came all the way here to give you some medicine so you'll feel better tonight" Leo taunts and I make a motion to show that if he keeps on running his mouth he'll regret it. He's not a vocalist so he wouldn't mind if I knocked a few teeth out of his mouth now would he?

"Of course it's you" she says, turning around and shoving the bottle towards me, clearly in a rush to get out of here. "I told you you were gonna get sick" she scolds, Tyler's description of her coming back to me after witnessing it myself.

A white flowy dress with a matching white bag and sandals is what I'm met with, a casual but appropriate look for a spring day but she shoves me, stopping me from checking her out as it seems that I had been doing it longer than what would be considered even semi appropriate.

"Come on Jeon I don't have time for this. Take your medicine and get back to the hotel so you can rest. We can't afford to cancel last minute so hurry up" she says, checking her phone and glancing over at Asher.

"Can I trust you to make sure he does as he's told?" she asks, one hand on the door already to leave so he nods, assuring her he'll take care of it. "See you at the show" she says over her shoulder to no one in particular as she walks out of the club with all of the guys yelling out their various goodbyes to her.

"What's with her?" Leo asks, all of us caught off guard by her behavior since she's usually not this rough with us, at least not for something like this. She takes on the care giver role when any one of us is sick so this harsh treatment kinda threw all of us for a loop.

"She's probably just irritated by the fact that Jungkook was clearly undressing her with his eyes" Tyler jabs and I glare, the only sort of response I have the energy to give at the moment with him granting me a sickeningly sweet smile. "Fuck off" I grumble, my frequently used phrase when it comes to him.

I open up the meds that she gave me and take them real quick, cringing at the disgusting taste making Leo chuckle. "We should probably get you back to the room tho. Doctor's orders and all" Asher says, grabbing his jacket, phone and wallet while doing the same for me. "I feel like shit anyways so there's no point in hanging around here anymore" I grumble and take my jacket from him.

"You guys are just running away because you're scared of y/n huh?" Tyler taunts and I roll my eyes. "Isn't it obvious?" I grumble and he laughs, leaving me scoffing and walking out to head to the car.

"You gonna be alright tonight?" Asher asks while we wait for them to bring the car around, him having hung back for a couple of seconds to grab the medicine that I stupidly left on the table back there. "Yeah I just need to lay down" I sigh and slump into the car when Asher grabs the door for me and I give him a small nod in thanks.

He rounds the car and gets in on the other side and within the next ten or fifteen minutes we're back at the hotel again, trudging through the hallway to our room.

"You good?" Asher asks again to the point where it's starting to annoy me. "Yes Ash, for the love of God yes I'll be fine" I scold and he holds his hands up. "Alright alright I'll stop. Do you want anything for lunch? I'm gonna check and see if Liz can get one of the staff to get us something. Or we can just order room service?" he offers and I go with my gut on this one.

"I don't care just get me some chicken soup or something please? I need to get this shit out of my system asap and I don't think I can stomach anything other than that" I say, dragging my feet into my room and tossing my shoes and jacket off before getting in bed.

"You're really that sick huh?" He asks, leaning against the doorframe and seeing how my state has gotten worse since we left. "Yes I am so can you go order food and leave me alone?" I say and he shakes his head. "I'm sorry I just feel like shit right now" I reiterate and he hums in acknowledgment. "I know" he says and pushes his weight off the frame and turns to leave.

"Sweet dreams sleeping beauty. I'll wake you up when the food gets here" he says before closing my door behind him and I sigh, happy to be alone so I can pass out for a while...and pass out I do.

~~~~~

Once we've finished eating and I'm starting to feel better Ash starts talking about y/n again.

"So are you gonna tell her?" he asks after cleaning up. "Tell her what?" I groan, not wanting to suffer through this but knowing that if I at least tell him he can tell the other guys for me so they'll hopefully hop off my dick about this.

"That you like her" he says and I sigh, the conversation being a twin to the one we had last night. "I don't know" I mumble and he nods his head. "You probably should just in case this whole Alex thing goes any further" he offers up.

"It just sucks because I'm just barely starting to realize that I like her because I've been put in this situation where I could potentially lose my chance with her if I don't tell her tonight. Who knows, she could've been talking to this guy this whole time and I just assumed that she was single since she's always been so focused on our band and the tour. I mean, I can't even keep a stable relationship going with all the shit we have to do" I say and he sighs.

"That was because of her. Not you" he says, him being the only one I let talk freely about Sage. "I know" I rub my temples, trying to coax this low grade headache away before it gets any worse. "Take the time that you have left to think about it and I'll tell the guys to back off, even if that means putting a muzzle on Tyler" he jokes and I scoff.

"Can't we permanently muzzle him?" I grumble and he laughs. "I'll take it up with Liz. If anything we can get him a shock collar or something and give him a couple volts every time he pisses us off" he offers up and the image alone makes me smile. "Keep the remote far away from me otherwise we might end up with a barbecued bandmate" I joke.

"Noted" he chuckles, "I'm not gonna tell you that you have to tell her but if I were you...I would" he sighs and gets up to finish getting ready to go to.

Should I really tell her?

~~~~~~

As we make our way through the backdoor of the venue and into the green room again we're given our outfits and the rundown one last time.

"Okay, everyone know what they need to do?" Liz asks, the staff having joined us for this little pow wow and everyone looks at one another and nods, all of them more or less having an understanding of what's expected of them.

"Alright guys thank you very much. I need people to double and triple check that the mics and speakers are ready but other than that if you have any questions feel free to ask me or the owner and if you see y/n in the crowd try not to bother her. It's her night off so let's just treat her like a normal ticket holder. Okay?" Liz finishes and the nerves of seeing y/n tonight and potentially telling her how I feel all come back.

"You okay?" Ash asks, having noticed how I've tensed up a bit and I nod, breathing deep and relaxing my body as best as I can. If only it was that easy to relax my mind...

"You guys ready to go? Any last minute wardrobe malfunctions or bathroom breaks?" Liz asks, her tone being a little softer with us this time around since y/n isn't here to ease the burn. "Yeah I think we're good" Zach says, nodding his head after assessing the group for a second and she takes that as her answer, not having time to check up on all of us individually.

"I've gotta get going but break a leg...not for real this time" she says, backpedaling and narrowing her eyes at Tyler who sheepishly scratches the back of his head. "Got it" he mumbles and after a second or two of her making sure he's understood she's out the door without another word.

"So y/n-" "We're not talking about y/n unless Jungkook brings her up alright?" Asher says, cutting Tyler off before he can say anything to piss me off but everything has got me on edge tonight. "Bu-" "Tyler, leave it alone" Zach warns and the subject is dropped, with Zach's word being law per usual and this time I'm thankful for it.

"Let's just focus on the show like we always do" Asher says, breaking up the tension and reminding us that there are more important things in play here. "Right" Tyler mumbles and soon we're walking on stage.

The roar of the crowd hitting us like it always does with the high being just as good as it always is but it's paired with something different this time and I can't tell if it's a good or bad thing.

~~~~

As the set plays on I finally catch just a glimpse of her in the crowd, her cheeks flushed and her eyes glassy, the heat and alcohol being the culprit but the smile on her face is so much freer and genuine, a sight I've only seen a few times and when the song we're performing comes to a close I whisper in Ash's ear to see if we could switch things up.

"Do you think we're ready?" I ask, hoping he thinks we are and when he gives the guys a look they all know, all of them passing on the message so we're all in sync. "Yeah we're ready, you sure you wanna play it though?" he asks, hesitant since the crowd reaction to this switch up is unpredictable but I can't shake the feeling that now is the time that this song was made for and so I nod, the guys go quiet waiting for me to introduce this next song.

"So this one isn't something you guys have heard before but it's one that's been stuck in my head since I wrote it" I say and I watch as the crowd all turns to each other, buzzing with excitement of hearing an unreleased track.

"It's one that's meant a lot to me but I didn't really know why..." I continue and I can tell that they're even more invested now, some of them clearly waiting with bated breath.

"I know my words seem cryptic but I hope that the right person will understand" I end and the murmurs through out the crowd continue, looking left and right to see who I might be talking about...but now I know, I know who she is.

'We never met but she's all I see at night' I start, the strong chords of the guitars and the crisp beats on the drums add power, the crowd cheering at the opening line already.

'Never met but she's always on my mind' and as the lyrics continue I see y/n's brows furrow in confusion, knowing that this song wasn't on the setlist, the sound being familiar to her nevertheless.

'Wanna give her the world and so much more' I continue, locking eye contact with her when she realizes my eyes have never left her.

'Who is my heart waiting for' I sing and the roaring of the crowd brings me back, the first verse drawing my attention back to the fact that I'm still performing. My eyes glance over at her whenever they can and I can see I look of confusion but she sings along and enjoys it with the crowd, not knowing if she's reading my signs correctly.

I focus back on performing, the excitement and reaction from the crowd being something greater than I've experienced in a while. This being our encore tour with no new songs added but I couldn't hold onto it, not tonight.

'I'll take her places they ain't found yet, I'll put it all on the line' I continue, my intentions and understanding behind the chance of pursuing her conveyed in the song without me even trying.

Had I really been writing this about her?

'Is she someone that I see everyday?' I sing, purposefully looking for her in the crowd but when my eyes land on her I see her looking down at her phone and then looking around, making my heart sink at the thought of her not seeing the importance of this.

'Is she someone a thousand miles away?' I continue, turning my attention back to performing and when the mantra of the song plays all the instruments cut out except for the drums and the rest of the guys direct the crowd to clap along with the beat.

'Who is my heart, heart waiting for?' is chanted over and over until we finally kick back into the chorus, a high note I've been dying to sing live being something I fall a little short of in hopes of finding her but to the untrained ear being something you couldn't catch.

'Wanna give her the world and so much more' I sing, coming to a close and finally my eyes meet hers again.

'Who is my heart waiting for?' I end, the crowd's reaction of jumping and shouting in excitement makes me lose sight of her again showing me that I should really try to focus on the performance but all I want to do is run to her.

I turn back towards the crowd and thank them right along with the rest of the band and luckily we're able to take a break since I managed to time it perfectly with the intermission and as always we all tumble back into the green room.

We all reach for the waters laid out for us and down them in entirety, the stage lights feeling so much hotter tonight but I know deep down that it was the nerves that got me feeling like this, just the sight of her making my heart race.

How have things changed so rapidly from me being able to be close to her without a care in the world to me in shambles from just being in her presence. I'm not able to mull over that thought for long as I watch Liz come in behind us.

"Great first half guys but why the hell didn't you tell me you were playing that song? That's not coming out for weeks!" she says, her half praise, half scolding manner being hard to decipher but when I try to own up to it Tyler takes the blame.

"It was my idea. I wanted to keep the attention of a girl I saw in the front row that had been making eyes at me" he says, the statement not being true but I'm sure he still did use the opportunity to his advantage.

"You've got plenty of other songs that make the girls go wild for you so just stick to the setlist next time, got it?" she says, addressing all of us since we all literally played a part in it and so we accept her scolding with promises to never do it again.

"Anyways Jungkook you've got a visitor" she says and I'm perplexed, her never allowing anyone to come back here especially in the middle of a show but when she opens the door and y/n comes into view I quickly take her hand and pull her outside into that same parking lot we had been in just last night, not wanting an audience for this.

"What are you doing?" she asks, dragging her feet now that we're out, not wanting to be pulled along any more but I want to make sure we're out of earshot, the thought of future teasing being painful enough as it is so I just want some privacy even if it's just for this one moment now.

"I just wanted to talk...alone" I say and she nods her head but we stand there in silence until both of us try to say something but I encourage her to go first.

"You guys sound amazing tonight" she says and I wordlessly thank her since I can tell she's got more to say. "That song um...I thought you guys weren't done with it yet" she says, bringing up the obvious elephant in the room and the cause of the tension between us.

"We are, we just weren't sure if we wanted to release it as a single or as part of the next album. Liz wants to kill us for spoiling it...but it felt like it was something I needed to do" I admit and she nods her head and looks down at her shoes.

"You said that the song meant a lot to you but you weren't sure why?" she asks, repeating the words I had said on stage and I nod, waiting for her to complete her thought. "So what's changed?" she asks, the opportunity to do what I had planned to being handed to me so after taking a deep breath I finally just go with what feels right.

"I've never thought of myself as a romantic guy or one that has a way with words but when it comes to song writing things just feel different. That song felt like I was calling out to something...well someone that I didn't have but was longing to meet. Which is pretty obvious from the lyrics huh?" I say, nervously proving my point.

"What I'm trying to say is that I've found my 'Who' so to say, but I'm not sure if it's right of me to say this already since I've only realized recently" I admit and she smiles.

"Recently being...?" she asks, her tone being laced with amusement. "Yesterday" I answer truthfully and she laughs, confusing me.

"This isn't funny" I scoff but it only makes her laugh more, the tips of my ears going pink but I can't deny that her laugh is one of my favorite sounds. "I'm sorry I'm sorry, go on" she says, stifling back her laughter and waiting for me to continue.

"You're insufferable" I huff which only amuses her more. "And yet here you are confessing your love to me" she says, connecting the dots before I have a chance to and I'm left there speechless, neither confirming nor denying her suspicious which makes her start to doubt herself.

"Unless that's not what you're doing...?" she asks tentatively, disheartened at the thought of misreading all of the signs I sent her. "No, it is" I murmur, making her smile again, my heart skipping a beat like a love sick school boy.

"So you like me?" she asks and I have no choice but to nod my head, still unsure of myself but I needed to admit it.

"I know it's selfish of me to say this since you have a new guy in your life so if you don't feel the same way I understand" I say, not wanting to pressure her into it, "I just wanted you to know" I whisper and when she tilts her head in confusion I start to second guess myself.

"New guy?" she asks, scrunching her brows together, the reaction endearing. "Yeah, Alex?" I say tentatively since I feel as though something is definetly wrong here. "Oh! Oh, Alex. Right" she nods her head but I'm still very much confused about her reaction.

"You should probably come inside" she says nodding towards the building and so I suspiciously follow her, this unknown Alex no doubt waiting inside but when all I see is the addition of another girl inside that the guys are all crowding around I know now that my suspicions were very very wrong.

"Alright guys give her some room" y/n says and pulls the girl away from the very engaging conversation she seemed to be having, granting y/n with a pointed glare but she ignores it.

"Jungkook meet Alexis" she says and the girl I now know as Alexis cringes. "Ew don't call me by my government name" she protests making y/n shake her head but Alexis, I mean Alex's vibe changes up completely once she addresses me, an almost nervousness taking over her but I guess it kind of is a given when you meet someone famous.

"Hi Jungkook it's really nice to meet you. Y/n has told me so much about you" she says holding out her hand for me to shake which I do but my eyes are now turned towards y/n who has face palmed at her friends admission. "Oh yeah? Does she talk about me all the time?"

"I mean, well, she might've mentioned you once or twice" Alex quickly backtracks, chuckling nervously when she makes eye contact with y/n as she's giving her a glare that clearly screams 'stop talking' which I can't help but chuckle about.

"I'm just gonna go over here, um you guys have fun" Alex says and politely excuses herself in favor of going to talk to the guys again who have amusedly been watching our exchange.

"Once or twice?" I smirk when we're finally back in our own little world. "Shut up" she hisses and punches my arm leaving me wincing in pain. "I didn't know you would get so violent when you're embarrassed" I tease gaining me another punch on the other arm to even it out.

"Okay okay I'm sorry I give up" I hold my hands up in surrender making her cross her arms over her chest, still not convinced but putting her guard down a little bit nonetheless.

"So you like me too then huh?" I say unashamedly, the way her friend alone gave a few subtle hints at that making me confident in my perception. "I never said that!" she counters but her defensive nature is adorable at best.

"You didn't have to" I say and when she tries to punch me again I grab her wrist before she can make contact and bring it up to my lips, placing a kiss on the inside of it, feeling her elevated pulse through her skin.

"I could think of a better way to expel that energy princess so why don't you hold off on that anger until after the show" I tease and from her many blinks and open mouth at my suggestive wording it's apparent that she got the message.

"I could report you for sexual harassment" she says through gritted teeth, her cheeks no doubt heating up in embarrassment. "It's not harassment if you enjoy it" I say placing another kiss on her wrist which she quickly rips out of my grasp making me chuckle.

"Better get back to the crowd otherwise you won't be able to see my pretty face anymore" I taunt and she scoffs and goes to storm out but stops, stomping over to where Alex and the guys are, ripping her away from them again leaving the boys as the ones protesting this time and seconds later slamming the door behind them.

"So?" Asher asks, the other guys engaging in a conversation that no doubt revolves around Alex making me sigh in thanksgiving, glad I don't have to confront all of them at once. "She hasn't said it...but she basically did" I shrug, acting as if it's no big deal but praying that this show will wrap up sooner rather than later.

"Told you" he says and gives me a friendly punch in the arm. "Yeah yeah I know I should believe you more often" I sigh and rub the area he abused. "So what are you gonna do?" he asks, now bringing the reality of the situation back around.

"All I know is I don't wanna mess this up" I say and he nods, placing his hand on my shoulder to give me silent encouragement but leaves me with my thoughts a few seconds later leaving me grabbing some water and a shot or two to calm the nerves before we're back on stage.

~~~~

The rest of the show is a blur but thankfully from the crowd's reaction it seems as though they're enjoying it leaving me feeling fulfilled once we wrap up for the night.

After the crowd has slowly dissipated and I find it safe to go out and walk around I search the venue on the hunt for a certain girl that's been running around my head for the past twenty four hours.

I duck my head into a few unlocked rooms and even some closets but come up empty handed, thankfully not stumbling upon some people hooking up inside of them but who am I to judge?

"Looking for someone?" I hear her playful voice behind me, calming whatever nerves I felt before confronting her after everything that was said...and sung.

"Maybe" I say, turning around to face her and leaning up against the wall behind me leaving her doing the exact same across from me in this narrow hallway, away from prying eyes. "Just maybe?" she asks and I chuckle.

"No use looking for someone that I already found" I admit making her bite her bottom lip in a seemingly unnoticeable way unless you were staring at her lips...which I am.

"You guys played a really good show tonight. I'm proud of you...well all of you" she says, backtracking a little in favor of being shy making me smile. "Thanks, means a lot Strings" I say in a huskier voice than I had planned on, her physical reaction quick but noticeable at this proximity.

"You nervous?" I cock my head leaving her going into a defensive state. "Why would I be nervous?" she asks, looking away and further proving my point, giving me a clear view of the expanse of her neck, temping me oh so innocently to mark her as my own.

"Oh you know, a fan can get a little intimidated talking to their favorite rockstar" I say, pushing off the wall and taking the few steps that separate us, resting my hand up against the wall, the proximity between us clearly one that would be shared between lovers.

"You're not just some rockstar" she counters, straightening up her posture and in turn making the space between her lips and mine all the more smaller. "No...I'm not" I say, my eyes shamelessly staring at her lips before dragging them back up to her eyes.

"Have you thought about what I said?" my warm breath fanning her face making her shiver, goosebumps clearly visible from the sleeveless nature of this now black fitted dress, a dichotomy to the one she wore earlier.

She hums in acknowledgement, her eyes now the ones flickering down to the way my lips curve around the words making the corner of my mouth turn up.

"And?" I ask, her silence driving me insane, the torture of finishing the show alone making me impatient beyond belief. "And?" she echoes, her coy nature making me chuckle dryly. "You're not gonna say anything?" I ask, my nose nudging against hers, playing a dangerous game before she's even given in.

"You said I didn't have to" she counters, referring to our previous conversation backstage. "I did, didn't I?" I scoff and she hums again, clearly amused with this push and pull between us.

"So if I were to want to do this..." I ask, moving impossibly close, to the point of where if I moved my lips ours would surely touch. "Would you stop me?" I ask just above a whisper leaving her eyes fluttering closed and her lips parted slightly giving me my answer.

"Guess not" I chuckle before pressing my lips against her's in a bruising kiss that leave both of us gasping for breath afterwards.

"I've been wanting to do that for so fucking long" I murmur against her lips making her smile. "I thought you only just realized you liked me yesterday?" she points out again.

"Just because I only realized my feeling for you yesterday doesn't mean that I didn't want to kiss you before then" I say making her eyes open up in surprise leaving me chuckling and pushing off the wall, taking her hand in mine and walking towards the venue exit.

"Wait, where are we going?" she asks, her swollen lips and breathless state making me want to do something that I know I shouldn't making me bite back the original response I had in mind.

"Back to the hotel" I say, giving the obvious answer and she goes quiet at that, unsure of what exactly lies ahead but her stronger grip on my hand once she's come around to the idea makes me smile.

~~~~~

I wanna pull that rockstar shit on her. I want to give into those desires that both of us are clearly craving but she's different. She deserves more than just a lust filled first time together, I want to do this right so when I kiss her goodnight and turn to head back to my room she pulls me back with a puzzled look on her face.

"What are you doing?" she asks, her brows furrowed together in confusion, almost asking if she had done something wrong. I sigh and come back to her, placing my hands on her hips and resting my forehead against her's.

"I don't wanna go too fast" the admission something I hadn't planned on but the need to quell her worries being more important than my vulnerability. "Why?" she asks, her fingers lacing through my hair to hold me close, making my resolve crumble just a bit.

"You're worth more than that. You're worth more to me..." I say the last part a little quieter, hoping my genuine intentions comes out from the change in tone.

"You're too sweet for your own good Jeon" she giggles making me let out a breath, happy that she isn't taking this the wrong way.

"I may be a rockstar but I'm a romantic at my core" I say just to make her laugh more which works as she decides to burry her face into my neck to stifle her laughter. "Please don't ever say that again" she chuckles, her laughter slowly dying down.

"Why not?" I ask, my grip on her hips the slightest bit tighter to bring her focus back to me. "Because it's gonna taint your whole discography with cringe, that's why" she teases making me tongue my cheek.

"You know I have half a mind to put you in your place for that smart mouth of yours" I growl making her shiver at the thought, her lip caught between her teeth again making me drag it down before rubbing my thumb along it, pulling it back when I can see that she's contemplating putting it in her mouth just to egg me on.

"But I won't" I say and pull away leaving her groaning in frustration, the look on her face priceless. "Come on" she groans further, crossing her arms over her chest making her cleavage look all the more tempting.

"Let me take you out on a few proper dates first Princess" I chuckle leaving her angrily muttering to herself as she turns to unlock her hotel room. "What was that? Couldn't quite hear you" I taunt, taking a few steps back over to her.

"I said this was a waste of a dress" she repeats, her angered look adorable. "And why's that sweetheart?" I tilt my head, thoroughly amused by her frustration with me. "Because I hadn't planned on being the one who would take it off tonight" she says and unlocks her door before opening it and slamming it in my face.

I can't help but smirk at her efforts to get me into bed with her tonight, her embarrassed confession endearing. "Sweet dreams Strings" I say through her door hearing what I can only assume is a pillow hitting it with a soft thud in retaliation.

"You're gonna have your hands full with that one" Asher says, popping up out of nowhere scaring me half to death. "Don't do that" I growl and push past him into our open hotel room door that he just came out of. "You guys were the one's that were making a lot of noise. I just wanted to come and enjoy the show" he laughs, shaking his head and closing the door behind us.

"Yeah well better get used to hearing some other kinds of noises from us soon enough" I taunt making him cringe at the thought. "Maybe now Liz will finally let me get my own room" he rolls his eyes leaving that as his final goodnight.

I flop down on the couch in our shared living room and stare up at the ceiling, trying to figure out if this was the best plan of action. The ghost of a feeling of her lips on mine and that alluring look she had been giving me after the show makes me grit my teeth, trying to block the memory.

I get a text seconds later though from Strings knocking me out of my train of thought and smashing me into another one when I open the image of her taking a picture of her reflection. Her dress now discarded leaving her bare torso exposed but the picture only affords me an image of her back, the thoughts of what else she's purposefully hiding from me making my pants grow tight.

'Careful Strings' is all I manage to type out, my willpower waining as seconds pass waiting for her response.

'You knew from the beginning I was never a careful one' she sends putting a new connotation on the name 'Strings'.

'I'm really trying to be a gentleman right now but you're testing my patience' I respond, getting up and pacing back and forth, weighing the pros and cons of what might come of this if I give in.

'I never asked you to be a gentleman' she replies making me groan in frustration, her tactics of temptation were not ones I had expected to have this big of a pull on me.

'Be a good girl Strings and let me treat you right. You'll get what you want. Just wanna take my time with you' I send back, hoping that'll keep her at bay and for the moment it does but when I try to stand up and get ready to pass out she's sending me another message that makes me chuckle.

'Can you at least come over here so we can kiss for a little bit? :(' she's fucking adorable. A temptress but adorable nonetheless.

'No Strings, we both know that it won't end in just kissing' I send back and she just replies with an angry face as expected.

'Goodnight Princess x' I send back and lock my phone, tossing it on my bed and getting out of these clothes so I can take a shower, smiling to myself and thinking about seeing her again.

I want to do right by her and no matter how sulky she might get but we both know that 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' or whatever that Shakespeare dude said.

In this case meaning I want her to be putty in my hands and begging for it by the time I give in.

'Just a couple of dates Jungkook. You can wait that long' I coach myself after a notification pops up telling me she sent me some more pictures but it leaves me debating on if I should or shouldn't look but I ultimately lose the battle and open our conversation.

My fingers tighten around my phone as she sends me more pictures, still not completely nude but close enough to make my dick rival the wants in my brain, almost tipping me over the edge.

'Behave!' is all I manage to get out before I strip my clothes off and get in the shower, leaving my phone behind but the images of her imprinted on my mind are enough to make this shower a lot longer than intended.

I guess Asher is right, I really am gonna have my hands full.

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fyuyushia · 2 months ago

Text

"I hear the preacher say 'speak now or forever hold your peace.' There's the silence, there's my last chance—I stand up with shaky hands all eyes on me. Horrified looks from everyone in the room but I'm only looking at you." — Speak now

Somebody take me away from this man actually I can't stop my hands from writing. Not proofread btw..

Word count: 3303

You stared idly at your reflection from the mirror. Dressed from top to bottom in accessories you found much too excessive and face covered with make-up, you looked beautiful.

You weren't much for complimenting yourself, but you had to give credit to the one who did your makeup. They've erased every flaw so seamlessly, elevating your appearance to the point you almost couldn't recognize yourself. The dress, along with the headpiece and accessories that made up your entire look was frustratingly gorgeous. Meticulously designed, it was made to fit you, accentuating your body in the best way possible.

And you, who wore it with a grim look hated everything about it.

What use was dolling yourself up to these heights when the one you'll marry isn't the one you wanted?

Forcing yourself to look away from the mirror, your arms embrace yourself as you seek solace to stop the tears from spilling. You tilt your head up, willing the tears to dry with a futile fan of your hands. You can't cry now, your make up's gonna be ruined before you even walk down the aisle.

You cursed yourself in frustration, nothing was going your way. When has it ever have?

If you had it your way, then right now, you would be spending your time combing your fingers through the ebony hairs of the man you loved fiercely with your entire being. You'd lean close to him, whisper sweet nothings and pepper his face with kisses, allowing your lips to meet the smooth expanse of his skin with gentleness that borderlined reverence.

If you had it your way, you'd be standing next to the rising hunter, Sung Jinwoo.

Instead, you're met with the harsh reality of the business world and ripped apart from him right when he needed you most. You wept for the heartbreak that left you in tatters, though your father praised you for your obedience that showcased your loyalty to your family, his words only served to be daggers that dug deeper at your heart with every point made.

As the world swiftly changed its course to make way for the new phenomenon called gates which summoned forth destructive beings to wreck havoc in your world, the hunters quickly took the spotlight from previously dominating figures. With the existence of the game changing mana crystals and monster loot, businesses that have once dominated the market soon fell off as more and more adapted to the change.

The rule in the business world states that the one who adapts the slowest loses. Your family was one of the losers, unable to swim with the tides that came too quickly for the company to stay relevant. Forced to pull every card in the arsenal, your father finally managed to get a favorable alliance with one of the more well known companies.

The deal? You get married with the heir of said business.

Turns out the heir had been eyeing you since he first saw you at a social gathering and reached out with the 'kindness' from his heart and offered to help you out with the small price of being unionized with him. Hah, what a load of bull. You knew full well just how ugly his personality was, a douchebag like him had no room for kindness in his heart.

You bit your lip, cursing your fate. Why would nothing ever go the way you want it to go? Was such a simple wish truly that difficult to grant?

You flutter your eyes shut, barely holding in the tears that threatened to cascade down your cheeks. Your hands run over the fabric of your wedding gown, squeezing it tightly as your mind conjures up an image of your (ex)lover. His messy black hair that, more often than not, looked like a bird's nest, his wide grey eyes that gleamed with hope despite all the suffering the world had made him go through, his lips that always settled in a bright grin, positivity brimming through and forcing a smile on your own lips as well, and his calloused hands that contrasted his meek demeanor, speaking loudly of his experience that were far from comfortable.

You were hopelessly in love with him, hopelessly smitten for the man who had nothing to his name.

Such a name, you figured, no longer suited him now after he made it to the news and was revealed to be Korea's 10th S-rank hunter after his second re-awakening. Shortly after you left, Sung Jinwoo grew leagues better. His frame grew bigger, taller, and his face became lethal as well. A sharp jawline that could easily cut houses in two(exaggeration), and a face that might as well have been the god's best work yet, he was every bit the dreamboat that women wanted. You had to admit, even you were weak to his charms.

You breathed out a sigh, all this thinking about Jinwoo had dampened your mood and forced you to think about things you thought you'd forgotten. As always, right when you thought you were on the verge of moving on, his memory pops up and you're back to square one again, tripping on your feet and pining once more for the man you had to let go.

"Jinwoo..."

"I'm here." A soothing baritone whispered beside you, his breath hitting the back of your ear.

You freeze, not expecting company. Turning around on your heel, your eyes widens when you're met with Sung Jinwoo's face—someone you've only seen once ever since your hasty break up.

"Jinwoo?" You repeat, no longer as sad but moreso surprised.

His lips quirk up, allowing a small smile to grace his features. He nods, taking a step back to set some space between the both of you. You gasp, mind overflowing with questions that seeped into your face without your notice. What was he doing here and how?

"What're you—" you pause, not too eager in asking that question. Staring at his features that greatly differed from the Jinwoo you once knew, your eyes soften. "Can I hug you?"

He pulls you into his arms wordlessly shortly after you finished muttering your request, easily closing off the distance that he himself placed. Burying your face against his chest, his fingers brush against the back of your head in a soothing rhythm.

"You don't even have to ask."

As your body gets pressed against his own sturdy build, your initial stiffness soon melts at the presence of someone who has once(and still is) been a safe haven for you. Wrapping your arms around his waist, you nuzzle against his chest, simply wanting to bask in this moment.

You knew this was wrong, clinging onto him when you're already promised to another would only make things harder for you. Still, you sought his comfort more than any other. In the end, there was no getting rid of him in your thoughts. A part of you wondered what exactly he was doing here, but you were scared to ask, afraid that you'd ruin the magic of the moment.

You flutter your eyes shut, releasing a shaky exhale. He smelled of sandalwood and mountain air, a scent that you always associated with comfort, with him.

The both of you simply stood in silence, tangled in each other's arms. You clung onto him tightly, afraid he'd disappear if you let him go for even just millisecond. Jinwoo doesn't mind your reluctance to let go, pulling you closer despite already being the closest he could get.

"I can't let go of you, Jinwoo. I—I still...love you."

Your voice comes out as a whisper, barely hearable. Jinwoo hears it nonetheless, thanks to his heightened perception, and his lips curl into what seemed like a sad smile. He hums, the sound making his chest rumble in turn.

"I know."

"You fool—why couldn't you have reawakened sooner? If you did I wouldn't have... We could have still been what we once were."

"I know, I'm sorry."

You punched his chest repeatedly, pulling away from him to give room to your fists. You grit your teeth, it's not his fault, you knew that. It's not his fault, but hearing his chaste answers had made you want to keep talking, keep blaming him despite knowing in your head and in your heart that he wasn't the one in the wrong.

Weren't you the problem? You couldn't even fight for him, didn't even try. In the end, you agreed all too easily to your father, gave up on this love out of fear of angering your father. It was your fault, you were the one who didn't even bother to fight for this.

The thought nearly made you sob.

Jinwoo, noticing your spiraling emotions, quickly puts an end to it with a few touches.

Bringing a hand up to your cheek, he cups it gently and tilts it up to meet him in the eye. He brushes his fingers against your cheek, urging you to look at him which you do. Your eyes glimmer with unshed tears, one word alone would probably make you bawl your eyes out.

His lips curls into a frown. Pressing a chaste kiss against the crown of your head, he effectively stops your constant stream of light punches against his chest.

"Tell me, sarang" he begins softly, and god, the way he uttered the endearment so lovingly had you melting completely. "Do you want me to break off this wedding?"

His words reel you back to reality. You blink, confused by his words. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what you think I mean. Will you give us a chance?"

You furrow your brows. Did he truly mean that? You stared him in the eye, catching the way his eyes glowed a faint purple. Words die down on your throat, and you settle with a nod of your head.

You steel your eyes, fingers squeezing the fabric of the cloth he wore. "Take me away, I don't want to be with anyone but you, Jinwoo."

Your words seemed to be the final nail in the coffin. He parts from you with one last kiss, this time, on the side of your lips.

"Then just wait for me."

That was what Jinwoo said a few hours ago before disappearing into obscurity. Now, as the ceremony neared a close, your eyes hastily scanned around the chapel in search of the familiar face of the man who had somehow snuck in your room just moments ago.

Your fingers trembled, threatening to let go of the bouquet you held in your hands. The preacher's words were nothing but white noise, unable to focus as your mouth let out practiced answers whenever you were asked to promise something.

Scanning the room one more time, your heart sank once you find no signs of the man. Has what happened earlier just been a figment of your imagination? Did you long to escape this marriage so much you fantasized about your ex showing up and whisking you away?

“If anyone knows of any reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

You held your breath, squeezing the bouquet until your knuckles grew white from the force you exerted. Squeezing your eyes shut, you pursed your lips together and prayed—hoped for someone to stop this wedding before you would become truly bound to this man you could care less about.

"I do."

Loud gasps echoed throughout the chapel, murmurs exchanged as they all collectively stared at the only man who raised in opposition to the marriage. You open your eyes, lips quivering as it tries to stop a smile.

For once, something in your life has gone right. You swallow thickly, finding Jinwoo standing beside Jinho. Lowering his arm, he crosses it above his chest and stares down the groom with a challenging glare.

"Is that Sung Jinwoo? The S-rank hunter?"

"No way! You mean the one who single-handedly cleared that S-rank gate in Japan?"

"That Sung Jinwoo? What's he doing here?"

You ignored the whispers of the crowd, gaze transfixed on Jinwoo. Walking straight down the aisle, he shifts his eyes to meet with the preacher, and then to you.

"That woman," he turns to face your direction. "Is mine."

Another round of dramatic gasps resounded, the guests watching everything unfold, drinking in the entertainment down to the last drop.

Jinwoo's eyes soften as he mentions you. Extending his arm, he stretches out a hand for you to take. "Come with me?"

"Jinwoo!"

Dropping the bouquet, it fell to the ground with a soft thud. You turned your head, then your body. Walking down the stairs, you had the full intention to run to his arms. However, you were stopped before you could even take the third step.

A hand circles around your wrist, preventing you from going further. You click your tongue, met with your groom's face when you looked at who was holding you back.

"Young man, I fear you need more than jus—" a cold glare renders the priest shut.

"Don't be ridiculous! She's yours? I'm the one she's getting married with!" The groom seethes, harshly tugging you back to stand beside him.

You winced, glaring daggers at him. "I—"

"Shut up! You forget yourself, if it wasn't for me your company would've gone under a long time ago! You're not going anywhere."

You flinch at the aggression in his words. Still, you don't back down. "Let go of me!"

"After everything I've done—all those gifts this is how you treat me? Do you know how much I spent on you?!"

"I never asked you to send me those gifts. You forced them upon me!"

"Why you—"

"Rest assured, I'll pay you back for everything you spent on her." Sung Jinwoo, all of a sudden, stood between the two of you.

Peeling away the man's iron-clad grip on your wrist, he slides an arm around your waist and pulls you close to him. You flinched, bemused by how quickly he got here but didn't push him away.

"I'm ever so grateful for you taking care of her when I couldn't. I don't forget to pay back those I owe a favor to. I'll pay for everything, every single dime they owe you so she won't have to follow through this deal, don't worry, great and malevolent samaritan." His hold on the man's wrist tightened, exerting the same pressure he used when he was stopping you from running to his arms. "But I also don't forget anyone who's wronged me or the ones I love."

"I'm warning you, if you lay even one finger on them then I'll hunt you to the depths of hell and make you crave death more than anything else."

His eyes glowed lavender, allowing you and anyone in the room a glimpse of the hunter that had defeated powerful beasts alone. Shivers ran down your spine at the sight of this.

Cold, vengeful, and menacing—the fact that he really became such a powerful hunter finally dawned on you.

The man—your groom—wriggled against his grasp, unable to bear the burden of being pinned in place by Jinwoo's glare. He whimpered, legs quaking in fear.

When Jinwoo saw fit to let him go, he immediately fell on his butt. Scrambling for purchase, he then proceeded to grasp on a nearby pillar. Holding onto it, he steadied himself enough to stand up and make a run for it. The crowd fell into a deafening silence, each and everyone of them reluctant to even breath after witnessing the short exchange that just occurred.

Even you were rendered speechless. You peered up at him; gone was the timid boy who avoided confrontation like the plague. Instead, what replaced him was a man who wasn't afraid of raising a blade in the name of protecting the few people he cherished.

You watched his features relax. Taking a deep breath, he turns to face you, his attitude doing a whole 180 the moment it was you he was dealing with.

"Did I scare you? Sorry, I didn't mean to."

You blinked, snapped out of your daze when his eyes faded into the grey eyes you recognized to be his. The way he looked at you was soft, a direct contrast to the sharp glare he pointed to the man who just ran away with their tail tucked between their legs.

"Huh? Ah, no! You—you didn't scare me or anything like that." You cleared your throat, heart thrumming.

He breathes out a sigh of relief. Straightening his posture, he moves to a more comfortable stance. "Is that so? That's great, I wouldn't want to scare you."

Bringing you to a hug, your body stiffens up in response. Cheeks flushing, you found yourself still reeling from the shock of it all.

"You—you're here." You say, more to yourself than to him. "You're really here."

"Yes, I'm really here. I promised to take you away, didn't I?"

The tears that you held back finally came running down your eyes, tear ducts unable to hold back anymore.

"I know, but," you sniffled, "I didn't expect you to actually come. I half expected you to be nothing more than a simple hallucination."

Jinwoo chuckles. "That's ridiculous."

Your shoulders shook with the force of your sobs. All those pent up feelings came crashing down like a dam, and you couldn't find it in you to stop it.

"It's alright now, I'm here." He tucks a finger below your chin and tilts it up to face him. "Let's go somewhere else? There's somewhere I've been wanting to take you to when I finally got through you."

You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Will you really take me back? Even after I broke your heart once?"

His hands wrap around your waist in turn. "Of course, I'd still love you even if you thrust a dagger at my heart and twisted it."

You frown. "You really shouldn't."

"And yet I would." Came his reply.

"I'm sorry, I love you." You cupped his face with your hands, holding it delicately like it was porcelain.

His eyes narrowed, a grin forming on his normally thinly lined lips. Pulling you close, his lips met yours with a sweet kiss. You closed your eyes, reciprocating it with tears still pouring out of your eyes.

"Let's go, we've no time to waste."

You nod, allowing yourself to be pulled along by his hold.

"Ah, before that," he halts in his tracks. Facing the priest in charge, his smile quickly drops as he confirms one thing. "I trust that this marriage's been called off?"

The priest shivers, flinching when his eyes go back to it's cold disposition. "I—I—of course!"

He clears his throat, stammering as he ends the ceremony abruptly. "I must respectfully declare that, due to the objection raised, this wedding cannot continue at this time. This ceremony is concluded for today. I ask for everyone's understanding and respect when it comes to this matter."

Sung Jinwoo nods approvingly at the priest's hasty dismissal. Squeezing your hand, he takes you out of the chapel, donning a gentle demeanor as he turns his attention to you once more.

"Let's go, sarang. We have a lot of time to make up for."

You could only nod and return his smile with a wider one. As the crowd stands still, speechless from the fast paced event, you had already disappeared into the distance, willingly whisked away by the S rank hunter everyone feared and thought to be ruthless.

A few days later, the wedding makes it to the headlines. The mass soaked up the news like sponge to water, excitedly talking about the love story-esque event that took the whole media by the storm. News spread fast, and that day soon became an iconic event that everyone would remember whenever they think of Jinwoo and his beloved lover.

#ᯓᡣ𐭩fyuyu's works #jinwoo sung x reader #sung jinwoo x reader #solo leveling x you #solo leveling x reader #sung jinwoo x you #sung jinwoo x y/n #manhwa x reader

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madebycloud · 2 months ago

Text

Sweetener

jinx/powder x female reader — 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬⠀𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

summary: matcha has always been too bitter for your taste, but your new coworker seems to love it, especially when she makes you taste it every single day. warnings/themes: fluff and angst, friends to lovers, coffee shop, mordern au, barista!jinx, barista!reader, jessica words: 18.5k notes: just 2 broke (tired, stubborn, idiot, proud) college students in a shitty city

Working as a barista, you're used to seeing all sorts of people.

Most times it's just a bunch of early morning adults rushing through with their quick coffee pickup before work or the mid-afternoon college students stopping by for their third/fourth cup of the day to fight off the dark circles under their eyes or the late night studiers trying to consume enough coffee to finish their all-nighters for the upcoming exams.

But you can't please everyone all the time. Some of the people are just downright arrogant.

“Whatever.” They wave their hand in the air, as though swatting away an annoying fly. “Anyway, I need a matcha latte.”

You try to keep the grimace off your face. Not only does matcha taste like grass, matcha is expensive as hell. And it's always the stuck-up pricks that ask for matcha lattes.

“Yes, anything else?”

They look you up and down with a scoff. “Did I stutter? yes, that'll be all.”

You grit your teeth, trying to keep from throttling the prick then and there. It's not only just unprofessional, but you'd probably lose your job. And you need this job. You type their order, being careful not to say something rude.

“Great,” they say as they pull out a credit card.

You ring the total up and hand the card back, watching as they slide it back into their wallet.

“And you better get it right this time, it was too hot last time,” you hear them say before taking a seat at a nearby table.

Too hot. The last time you made it for them, you were careful to keep it at the right temperature—but apparently, even that wasn't good enough for that uptight person over there.

You grumble to yourself as you get to work making the matcha latte.

Carefully getting the perfect blend of matcha powder and water. Steaming the milk to the perfect temperature, ensuring it isn't too hot for the entitled prick, but also not too cold.

You grumble again, knowing full well the tip they're going to leave you won't be anything more than fifty cents or nothing at all.

You look at the clock. Only four hours left of this shift. Only four hours.

—

“You alright?”

You glance up from shoving your apron into a locker as Jayce, the cafe owner, walks over.

Is it that obvious you're not doing so well? You shrug. “I'm fine. Just glad it's quitting time, y'know?”

You're really not fine. This day was just awful. Between classes, this shift, and the never ending classwork load, you're ready to collapse from exhaustion. But you don't want to bother Jayce with your problems. The guy's already got enough on his plate running this café.

When you shut the locker, you catch Jayce eyeing you with concern, but he doesn't push further.

“Speaking of,” he starts, changing the topic. “You'll be getting a new co-worker tomorrow. Maddie's moved to another city.” He leans against a wall, crossing his arms. “Can you show them the ropes? I won't be here tomorrow.”

You give him a weary smile. “Can do.” Sure, training's easy, and showing them how to make coffee and deal with difficult customers isn't that hard. But what if they suck? What if they're lazy? What if they're incompetent?

You sigh, knowing that you're getting ahead of yourself. It's all conjecture right now. For all you know, this new co-worker could be great.

Jayce seems to notice your exhaustion, and he smiles reassuringly. “Get some rest.”

Right… rest. How the hell are you supposed to rest when you still have three classes to stress about, a mountain of classwork, and a new person to train at a job tomorrow?

“Maybe I should,” you reply lazily. You're not sure if you'll be able to get rest with the load of classwork waiting for you in your apartment, but at this point, you feel too exhausted to care. You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulders, giving a tired wave. “See you.”

He waves back. “Have a good night.”

You exit the cafe, a chill wind hitting your face as you step out onto the sidewalk.

Tomorrow is going to suck.

Tomorrow is waking up at the ass crack of dawn, half dead, and dragging yourself to several classes.

Tomorrow is getting bitched out by entitled pricks who need their overcomplicated, overpriced caffeinated crap just to feel awake.

Tomorrow is the same old bullshit.

You're already dreading tomorrow.

—

Weekends. The two days of respite from the hellhole of college—at least, it's supposed to be. When you arrive at the cafe on a Saturday morning, the sun is just beginning to rise as you park your bike nearby and make your way inside.

You step through the door and are greeted by Jayce, standing by the counter. And next to him is a blue-haired girl. Must be the newbie.

“Morning,” you greet Jayce with a tired yawn. You set your belongings in the locker before walking over to the counter.

“Morning,” Jayce greets back with a smile, nodding towards the girl. “This is Jinx, the new barista I mentioned,” he tells you, confirming your suspicions.

“Jinx,” you repeat, looking her up and down.

Blue hair with two braids, and a chin-length swoop of hair on the right side of her face. She's probably around your age. Despite the early hour, she looks far too cheerful and energetic.

Jinx's eyes lands on you, and she smiles broadly. “That's me,” she chirps.

You introduce yourself, and Jayce nods in approval. “I've gotta go,” he says, putting on his coat. “I trust you can take it from here.” He pats you on the back as he walks past. “See you later.” And with that, he's out the door.

You turn back to Jinx, noticing her eyes wandering around the café. “So, uh,” you start awkwardly, “have you worked in a café before?”

Jinx snaps her attention to you. “Nope.”

“Okay… that's not a big deal,” you assure her. “I'll just walk you through everything.”

She nods, and you begin the training.

You start by showing her the basics. Operating the coffee machines—which are pretty damn fancy and confusing at first. Explaining the menu, the prices, and the specials of the day. You tell her about the regulars and the usual customers, and she seems to listen closely.

After the basics, you get to the actual coffee-making. You start with a simple latte. You demonstrate the process, showing her how to prepare the espresso and steam the milk. She watches closely and even tries to mimic your steps.

Her first attempt is... messy. The espresso is weak, and the milk isn't steamed right. You point out her mistakes and try to guide her through the process again. She tries again… and again, it looks like a mess.

“Here—watch.” You adjust her grip on the pitcher. “You're holding it wrong. Try pouring again.”

She nods and tries once more, this time managing to make a decent pour.

“Not bad,” you praise. “Keep that up and you'll be good in no time.”

Jinx grins, but then her gaze falls to her hands. “Not so sure about that.”

You follow her gaze and spot the multiple band aid wrapped around her fingers. Her band aids seem to almost be covering every single finger. It's a little weird that her bandages cover her fingers of all things.

But you don't pry.

She sets the pitcher down, and you turn to glance at the clock on the wall. The clock reads 7:36 AM. It's still early, but the cafe opens at 8 AM.

“Hey,” you begin, “I was thinking…” You motion at the clock. “We still have time before opening. Wanna try making something different?”

She nods eagerly. “Yeah. Sure. Why not?”

“Alright.” You walk over to the cupboard. “What would you like to make?”

“Hmm, something... fun,” she hums, fingers tapping on the counter. “Like... matcha?” She shrugs. “It's my favorite.”

Matcha. That disgusting green tea powder that all these rich assholes seem to worship. And if you hear one more person saying it tastes rich or some other dumb bullshit...

You hate matcha. But if Jinx's favorite drink is matcha, then fine.

You shove down your own disdain for the drink and give her a strained smile. “You like matcha?”

“Yeah. It's delicious!” She's much more energetic than you've ever been.

You open the cupboard and sift through the supply drawers, pulling out the ingredients for a matcha latte. Jinx's eyes lock onto the ingredients that you place on the counter. “Why do you love matcha so much?” you ask.

“Uh, it tastes good! Matcha cake, matcha ice cream, matcha mochi, matcha tea... Oh! Matcha pudding is really good too.”

She seems very enthusiastic about the drink. So much so that you wonder if she's done an advertisement for it before.

“You know,” you start, measuring out the matcha and starting the water to boil in the kettle. “For someone who seems like they'd be more into sweet and sugary things... you like some stuff like matcha.”

“Eh, I also like sweet stuff, but I like matcha better.” Makes sense. Some people just like different tastes.

The water boils, and you spoon the powdered green tea into a cup and add the steaming water. You stir the matcha in the cup with a whisk. “You've probably had tons of matcha drinks in cafes before, huh?”

You turn to grab a frothing pitcher from the counter, but the bluenette has already snatched it and started foaming the milk, her fingers gripping the handle.

“Yeah, I have. But I've never tried making it myself.”

“Never tried making one yourself?” you repeat, watching her steam the milk.

She shakes her head. “Nope. I've had a lot of matcha drinks in cafes, but I've never made one myself.”

You finish stirring the matcha in the cup. “Well, at least you haven't broken anything yet. That's a good start.”

She stops frothing the milk, glancing at you. “You mean that? you're not joking?”

“I'm just being honest.”

She hesitantly nods, taking your answer. “If you say so…”

She pours the frothed milk into the cup along with the matcha, and you add the finishing touches before giving it to her.

Jinx grabs the cup and looks down at the drink. “It looks good.”

“Well, take a sip.” You watch her expectantly. You expect her to spit it out, complain...

But she doesn’t. She swallows the liquid and sets the cup down. “I didn't know making matcha was so easy,” she muses, staring down at the frothy green drink.

“It's not so complicated. Just some boiled water and milk.”

She takes another sip. “So... I could make matcha myself?”

“Yup. If you know how, it's pretty simple.”

“I never knew it was this easy.... I've been buying matcha this whole time-”

Then, the bell chimes, interrupting your conversation. The first customer of the day walks in.

“Ahh…” you mutter, turning toward your new co-worker, who is still sipping on her matcha latte. “You ready?”

She sets the cup down. “I guess.”

“Just follow my lead and try to keep up,” you tell her, “it should be an easy morning.”

She smiles, adjusting her apron. “Easy as pie.”

—

The first day of work for Jinx was... well, interesting, to put it mildly.

She made a few mistakes—like over-foaming a latte, accidentally giving a customer way too much sugar in their coffee, and almost setting fire to the coffee machine… but it could have been worse.

Some of the customers were patient, kind, and understanding. Others... not so much.

One customer complained that their coffee had too much cream and was way too sweet. Another complained their frappe was melting despite ordering it without ice. Then there was the customer who ordered a ‘coffee flavored coffee’, whatever that means. And the guy who wanted an Americano with no coffee.

By the end of the day, Jinx looked like a mess, and her apron was covered in coffee stains. You and her both shared a look of exhaustion.

“I had no idea customers could be so…” she trails off, her head in her hands on the counter.

“Frustrating?”

“More like…” she ponders some more.

“Inconsiderate?” you suggest jokingly.

“No, that's too nice.”

“How about…” you pause, mulling over some choice words. “Just plain dumb?”

“Dumb, stupid, idiotic, moronic, blockheaded, imbecilic-” she continues, listing off synonyms.

“You're going to run out of adjectives.”

“I've got plenty.” She lifts her head up, drumming her fingers on the counter. “You have no idea how many words you can use to describe an idiot. I could go on for hours.”

“I'm sure you could, but-”

“Like numbskull! Dolt. Imbecile. Nitwit. Dimwit. Dunce. Jackass. Cretin-”

“-Alright, that's enough,” you cut her off before she can start listing the entire dictionary. “I get it.”

She laughs and pushes back her bangs. “I was sooo tempted to dump a whole pot of coffee in a customer's face.”

“You shouldn't be pouring coffee on people, no matter how annoying they are.”

“But just imagine the look on their face when a steaming cup of hot coffee hits them-”

“That's assault.”

“It's self defense if… I'm defending my sanity,” Jinx counters.

“You can't just dump coffee on every annoying customer.”

“Says who?”

“Says the law,” you remind her, “...and Jayce.”

She sighs, flopping onto the counter. “I can't believe people can be this annoying. Like, how hard is it to just be nice to the people who serve you coffee?”

“Eh, well, it's too hard for some people. It's like they wake up in the morning and think… ‘Hmm, I'm going to be a massive jerk to someone working their minimum wage job today.’ And smetimes you just get those customers that you wish…” You gesture with your arm as if to mimic strangling them.

Jinx sits up, mimicking the motion with her own arms. “Or- or… you can poison their drink! Like, just a little bit. Just enough to make them a bit... sick and queasy. Or make it taste gross so they never come back, and they tell all their friends not to come back, and the cafe suddenly gets no business, and we get laid off-” She suddenly stops herself, realizing what she's saying. “I'm not making sense, am I?”

You snort. “Can you imagine the cafe being empty?”

“Mhmm! we could play our own music. Reorganize things. Drink as much coffee as we want,” she says, dropping her arms back to the counter.

“No stupid customers. No stupid complaints. It sounds like a dream.”

She leans forward, propping her chin on her hand. “It does, doesn't it?”

Just as both of you start fantasizing about the dream of an empty café, the sound of the bell above the door rings, signaling the entrance of a new customer.

You look up, assuming it's just another customer ready to order their coffee and then complain about it. But the sight of Jayce walking through the door immediately caught your attention.

“Oh, hey, boss,” Jinx greets.

Jayce approaches the counter, his eyes scanning over the cafe. “Evening, how's the first day?” he asks Jinx.

“Just great,” she replies.

Jayce glances at the coffee stain on her apron, the corner of his lip twitching upwards, but he doesn't comment on it. “And how's the training been?” He turns towards you, raising an eyebrow.

You shrug, trying to play it cool. “She's done well-”

“Except for spilling the drinks, the coffee machine almost exploded, accidentally giving customers the wrong orders-” Jinx pipes up, counting on her fingers, “-and me almost assaulting a customer.”

“She's still learning,” you quickly add, “but she's catching on pretty quick.”

Jayce purses his lips, studying Jinx for a moment before returning his eyes to you. “She almost assaulted a customer?”

“Uh, no, it didn't happen. She was just... venting out some frustration.”

“It was close,” Jinx mutters.

You clear your throat and give her a subtle glare, silently telling her to shut up before she makes it worse, which she luckily gets the hint.

Jayce hums and glances down at the watch on his wrist before looking back up. “Right, you two can head home now. I'll take over closing the shop.”

You and Jinx exchanged confused looks. “You sure? we can help.”

He waves a hand dismissively. “No, no, it's fine. You've both had a long day. Go on, get going.”

You raise an eyebrow, a little suspicious, but you decide not to question it for now. You turn to Jinx. “Come on, let's get our stuff.”

She immediately stands up from her seat. “Holy shit, I'm dying to get out of this apron.”

—

You wave goodbye to Jayce as you both leave the cafe, heading straight for your parked bike, and climb onto it.

You notice that Jinx is walking a few feet away from you. “You need a ride or something?” you call out.

She turns around, looking at you with a smirk. “Why, are you offering?”

“Unless you want to walk-”

“I'll take that ride.” She walks over, stopping right next to where you're seated on the bike.

“Hop on, then.”

She glances at the back seat, hesitant. You notice that she doesn't have any sort of vehicle either. She bites her lip, contemplating it for a moment, before carefully climbing on the bike.

You feel the bike sag a bit underneath her weight, but it thankfully holds.

She awkwardly sits behind you, her arms wrapping around your waist and her legs tucked beside your thighs. “You know how to ride this thing fast, right?” she asks.

“Of course, I do. I just like being careful.” You kick off the ground and begin to pedal, leaving the café behind.

“Boooring. Just gun it. I wanna feel the wind in my hair.”

“If I crash this thing, it's your fault,” you joke, picking up speed on the deserted sidewalk. “Where are you headed anyway?”

Her grip tightens around your waist, the wind blowing through her hair. “The subway.”

“The subway?” you ask, turning the bike towards the direction of the nearest subway station. “You live across the city?”

“Yeah, I live in a shitty area. Easier to use public transit.”

The entire city is shitty. “Why'd you get a job at a cafe so far from where you live, then?” You're genuinely curious.

“Not many other places are willing to hire me.”

“Why?”

She scoffs. “Too crazy. I had a job last summer at a local convenience store.”

“What, did you steal from the cash register or something?”

“Me? Hell no. You think I'd do something that obvious?”

You glance backward with a raised eyebrow.

“Alright, fine. I might have tried to steal some drinks and candy a couple of times. But! my boss was a scumbag who stole money from charity donations. He deserved it,” she explains defensively.

“I'm sure he did,” you reply, trying not to laugh at her defense. After all, she didn't need to justify stealing from a scumbag. Not that a few stolen chocolates really matter in this shithole of a city.

You continue down the sidewalk, making a left turn at a stoplight. Cars honk at you, but neither of you gives them so much as a glance of acknowledgment.

“Besides, those things are way too overpriced anyway,” she continues. “Everything in that damn store was overpriced.”

The subway station is now in view just a few blocks away.

“What happened?” you ask. “You get fired or quit?”

“Both. They fired me, and then I quit.”

“How exactly do you quit after getting fired?”

She laughs a little. “I walked back the next day and quit myself.”

That makes sense... somehow. “But, back to my question, why work so far?”

“Er, I didn't have a choice. Jayce was about the only one that would hire me.”

So it was out of desperation. You could understand that. Everyone had to do what they had to do to survive in this city.

You slow your bike to a stop, parking it outside the entrance to the subway station. You put the kickstand down and hop off the bike. “How long does it take to get to your place?”

“Like... maybe forty-five minutes? sometimes two hours,” she says, getting off the bike and stretching her arms above her head. “It's not that bad. There's usually an old guy who plays really shitty polka music on the accordion to keep me entertained.”

“Sounds lovely,” you reply sarcastically. “Shitty music and a shitty city.”

She hums, looking around. “So... I'll see you tomorrow?”

Despite the shitty city, the shitty job, you find yourself slightly looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. “Yeah, tomorrow,” you reply.

She turns and begins walking towards the stairs that descend into the depths of the subway station, before stopping and turning back around to face you.

“Hey-” she begins, stopping you. “Thanks for the ride, and... you're not so bad. For a coworker.”

You can't resist a smile. “You aren't so bad either.”

Jinx scoffs. “Pft, I don't know. Some people might disagree.” She pauses, studying your face for a moment. “See you, partner.”

She gives you one last grin before bounding down the stairs. You watch her disappear into the depths of the subway station.

You stare at the empty place where she once was, then turn away and get back on your bike, beginning to pedal away.

—

You enter the café, eyes still heavy from lack of sleep as you drag yourself through the door, only to be nearly deafened by the sound of loud music blasting from the speakers.

…this isn't the usual song that Jayce plays on the speakers. It's not soft rock, nor is it jazz, or any of those ‘old people’ types of music that he usually has on.

It sounds like... is that heavy metal? Not just any kind of heavy metal, but the really fast-paced, hyper, head-banging kind.

You step inside and spot Jinx, who is currently in the middle of aggressively sweeping the floor.

Within three seconds of seeing you, the bluenette immediately abandons her task of sweeping, bounds over to the counter, grabs a cup, and holds it out to you.

“Mornin' partner!” she greets, a smirk on her face.

Confused, but too tired to question her, you cautiously take the cup from her. “Uhh... morning.” You nod, looking down at the cup. “Thanks.” You take a small, tentative sip.

Matcha. You almost want to spit it out. But you swallow it anyway. After all, it'd be rude to spit out something someone went out of the way to make for you.

The liquid hits your tongue, and it's… different?

Different from how you make it. It's sweet, too sweet. But oddly, despite its different taste... it's actually kind of good. Good enough to make your morning slightly more bearable.

You set the cup down on the counter, trying to hide how oddly satisfied you feel.

“So?” Jinx asks eagerly, “What do you think?”

“It's... “ Good. The word almost slips out, but you stop yourself, instead clearing your throat and going for a more neutral answer. “Different.”

“Different good or different bad?” she prompts.

“Different... fine,” you say, lifting the cup back to your lips and taking another sip.

That isn't necessarily a lie, right? just because something is different doesn't mean it's good or bad. It's like a math equation, neutral on both sides.

“What's with all the-” you gesture around, “loud music?” you ask, changing the topic.

“Oh, that?” She jabs a thumb behind her towards the speaker. “I was bored out of my mind before you got here, so I changed the music.”

The loud blast of drums and guitar fills the café.

“You like it?” she asks.

It's not... bad. Just different. “I don't know if like it is the right term.”

“Mhmm, but it's good for the morning. Helps wake you up, you know?”

You look back at the cup. The taste is still weird, but the flavor is oddly growing on you. “Yeah, I guess so.”

—

For the next few weeks, every day was the same. Every shift, you stumbled into the café, half-asleep and barely alive, and Jinx would greet you with a cup of matcha latte. She doesn't bother asking if you want one, simply places down your drink and starts her own work in the café.

It's still a drink that normally makes you grimace, but... the way she makes it... she makes it different.

It doesn't make your facial muscles twitch anymore. It just tastes better. It's odd, the way that the drink has changed you. The once bitter, almost disgusting taste that you used to dread is now...

Less bitter and somehow not so awful.

You're actually able to drink it without cringing. And you don't know if that should worry you or not.

Though, there's still one burning question on your mind.

“Why do you keep making this?” you ask her one day.

“Hmm?” She glances up from the coffee machine.

“This.” You gesture to the cup in hand. “You always make me matcha lattes.”

She sets her rag down on the counter and leans against it, resting her chin on her hand. “And why are you asking?”

“I don't know, it's just-” you pause. Why are you asking? It's just a cup of matcha. Who cares? “Just wondering,” you answer, shrugging.

“Is my matcha that bad?”

“It's not that,” you assure her, shaking your head.

“Then what?” she pries. Why do you care?

You shift a bit on your feet, uncomfortable at her question.

Because, it makes you enjoy something that you originally hated. But you don't say that.

“Never mind,” you mutter, shaking your head again and taking a sip.

She just hums and goes back to her task.

From that point on, you never ask the question again. And she continues making the matcha lattes every shift.

—

You stand on the subway train, gripping the pole to maintain balance.

The train is too crowded to find a seat, so you're forced to just stand. It's a little uncomfortable, but not the worst thing you've experienced. You're used to these long commutes. Normally, you would be riding your bike all the way to your campus, but your bike decided to betray you this day, and your tire popped.

You still haven't gotten it fixed. You didn't exactly have the money to fix it yet. Which meant you had to rely on public transport, and getting up earlier. You usually listen to music or daydream to pass the time. But today, no music, and your brain is too tired to think.

So you just stand there, staring vaguely at the people crowding around you. They're all strangers. Most of them are wearing business suits, heading to work. Some of them are students, like you, bags slung over their shoulders, looking equally tired.

A particularly loud sound of rattling metal rings in your ears, and you grimace. The subway system is old, outdated, and in need of repair. But it's still better than the old monorail they used a few years back.

You're snapped out of your thoughts as the train jolts to a stop. The doors open with an ear-piercing screech. A group of people file off as a few others get on. You barely pay attention.

You focus on the ground, listening to the rhythmic tcha tcha of the wheels on the track.

Just as your thoughts begin to lull, you're suddenly shaken from your tired trance by the feeling of another hand gripping the pole you're holding.

You lift your gaze and... Jinx?

She stands right across from you, one hand gripping the pole and the other clutching a backpack slung over her shoulder.

“Oh, hey,” she greets, shifting her grip on the pole as the train begins moving again. “What are you doing here?”

“My bike broke,” you mutter. “Flat tire.”

“Ah, that suuuuuucks,” she sympathizes, wincing. “You gonna get it fixed?”

“When I have the time,” you reply, shifting your own grip on the pole. “Or the money,” you add, grimacing as a particularly loud grinding sound rings in your ears.

You keep a decent distance between your body and Jinx, and your hands don't touch. But she stands close enough that you can see the details of her face.

She is surprisingly freckled. They're not visible unless you look closely, but she has a small smattering of brown spots on the bridge of her nose and across her cheeks. Also, she's wearing makeup. The eyeliner and dark eyeshadow are expected, but she's also wearing something purple-glistened on her lips. It almost looks like-

Her tongue darts out, licking the lip gloss off.

You look at her eyes, and she's looking directly at you. You notice her eyes flitting between your own. You're not sure if she's doing it on purpose or if the staring is some strange coincidence.

“Cars are so damn expensive,” she says, shifting her gaze at the floor. “I wish I had enough money to buy a motorcycle.”

“You drive?”

“I mean, no,” she replies, her gaze lifting again. “But if I had a motorcycle, I could finally ditch public transport.”

“You don't like the subway?”

She gives you a look, gesturing around to the crowded subway train. “Does anyone like it?”

You concede. Good point.

She studies you for a moment, eyes drifting over your bag. “Where are you headed?”

“University. You?”

“Same.”

The train jostles, and you both shift the grip on the pole again. Your hands brush against each other, her hand just above yours.

“Which university?” you ask.

“The Academy,” she answers. “Engineering.”

“That's... an expensive university.”

“Yeah, it is,” she agrees, adjusting her grip again, her hand almost touching yours. “Full ride scholarship.”

“Damn, really? that's pretty impressive.”

Something in her mouth twitches in distaste, but she swallows it down, nodding her head with a smirk. “Thanks.”

Her gaze moves across your body, then settles on your hand on the pole. She stares at it for too long before looking away.

“Engineering, huh? you a genius or something?”

“Or something,” she says.

The train lurches again, and her fingers touch yours.

She doesn't move away. You don't move away either. Every slight motion causes her fingers to brush your knuckles or your fingertips.

The train continues moving and the silence stretches on.

Jinx's eyes are everywhere. It's roaming around the train. But it's also flickering back to you. Then it's roaming again. Then it flicks to your hand.

Then, you catch her staring at your lips. “Nice lips,” she suddenly says.

“What?”

“What?” she repeats.

Who compliments someone on their lips? “You just suddenly said I have a nice lips,” you respond.

She looks away, face turning pink. “Uh, I dunno. I think you have a nice lips.”

Another jolt of the train. Her head whips back to look you in the eye. She still does not move her hand.

“You have nice eyes.” You're not sure what possesses you to say that. It just popped out of your brain and into your mouth.

She narrows her eyes at you and snorts. “You think so?” Her thumb brushes against the back of your hand.

“Yeah,” you say, ignoring the shiver that runs down your back at the touch. “Pretty.”

Pretty? Is that the only word you can think of? The word feels insufficient to describe her eyes. Beautiful, gorgeous, striking. Instead, you just say pretty. Idiot.

Her nose is scrunched up, but it does little to hide the redness of her cheeks.

You keep staring at her eyes. And she stares back. Her eyes flick down again to your lips. She wets her own lips. Her thumb rubs the back of your hand, moving in circles.

The train slows and comes to a stop.

“My stop,” you mutter, dropping your hand and straightening up. “I'll see you later at the cafe?”

“Uuhhh, later,” Jinx responds. “And…”

You raise your eyebrow, waiting for her to finish the sentence. But she doesn't. She just looks at you, face turning pink again. “And...?” you press.

She looks away from you. “Nothing. See you later, partner.”

“Later,” you repeat, then push your way out of the crowded train, feeling her stare follow you.

The sound of the train doors shutting makes you look back.

Jinx is still standing in the same place, watching you leave. Her hand is still on the pole, and she's smiling, her cheeks are still pink. But when she sees you looking, that smile fades, and she quickly averts her gaze.

Then the train pulls away, and she disappears from your view. You're left staring at an empty railway, feeling strangely warm.

The ride to your university passes without much thought. For some reason, your brain is too exhausted to focus on anything but the feeling of Jinx's hand on yours.

And even after you arrive at class, you're still preoccupied with thoughts of Jinx.

No, not preoccupied. More like... preoccupied-adjacent. There is nothing to be preoccupied with.

You just got off the subway with your coworker. Just a normal subway ride. There are hundreds of people every day in the subway. People brush against each other all the time.

Nothing strange about that.

But you can't stop thinking about the weight of her hand on yours. Or the brush of her touch. Or the pinkness of her cheeks. Or the freckles on her nose. Or the lip gloss on her mouth. Or her eyes.

...

Okay, fine, you're preoccupied.

—

The cafe is blissfully empty. You take a quick glance around. Only a few customers are sitting at their tables, quietly working on an assignment or studying for their own midterms.

As usual, a cup of matcha latte is pushed into your hands. It's the same old drink, but this time, it's over ice instead of steaming hot.

“New recipe?” you ask, looking at Jinx, who is brewing coffee.

“Trying something new,” she calls back, focusing on the coffee machine in front of her. “You like it?”

You stare at the ice floating around the top of the drink, then take another sip. “It's fine.”

It's more than fine. It's good. The ice makes it a hell of a lot more refreshing.

Jinx glances at you over her shoulder. “Just fine, huh?” she responds, raising her eyebrow at you.

“Yes,” you answer. “Fine.” Delicious

She goes back to messing with the coffee machine, leaving you to stare at the back of her head.

You continue sipping on the latte, savoring the cool drink. It's an improvement over the usual steaming hot drink. The ice makes the flavors blend differently than it usually does, and it's much more tolerable than the hot version.

Delicious. The word echoes in your brain again, but you ignore it, staring into your cup.

Then your eyes wander towards Jinx's position behind the counter.

Her hair tied up in two braids as she fiddles with the coffee machine. Sometimes, her hair will escape the confinement of the hair ties, and it will dangle about her face. She pauses to pull back a strand of loose hair, tucking it behind her ear. Her attention doesn't deviate from her task, not noticing your gaze following her movements.

Your gaze drifts back to your cup. It's getting low. A few ice cubes remain, still bobbing in the liquid.

You take another sip of the latte.

Just fine. Not delicious.

Maybe it's a bit delicious. A little delicious. Delicious is such a funny word. An odd word. Is it possible to be half-delicious?

You lick your lips, tasting the remains of the ice-cold matcha latte, and glance back at Jinx.

Damn it. Delicious.

—

A month has passed, and you can tell Jinx has improved. Maybe even... good?

Good enough that she's stopped yelling, stopped breaking, stopped accidentally pouring coffee on the customer's shirt. Good enough that the customer is now enjoying their coffee instead of screaming at her. Even Jayce seems pleased, no longer concerned that Jinx would set the coffee machine on fire.

You set a cup down and look over at Jinx, who is standing by the coffee machine. She's working on latte art and actually managing to do a good job.

You watch as she pulls the milk wand away from the foam, leaving behind a decent… is that a heart?

It's just a simple heart, nothing extravagant, but definitely better than all the blobs she'd been trying to pass as latte art weeks ago.

“Not bad,” you comment.

Jinx jumps, nearly causing the matcha to spill over the rim. “Holy fuck,” she hisses. “Warn me next time you sneak up on me like that.”

“I didn't sneak up on you,” you reply, raising an eyebrow. “I was standing next to you the entire time.”

“And you still managed to startle me.”

“I did it on purpose,” you answer, smirking. “Just to see you jump.”

She flips you off and turns her attention back to the drink in front of her. “Ass.”

You grab a rag and clean the countertop. “A heart, huh? Trying to impress someone?”

She shrugs. “Maybe I am.”

You lean against the counter, watching her work on the drink. “Who's this lucky person?”

She hums without taking her eyes off the drink. “None of your business.”

“So there is someone?”

She glances at you out of the corner of her eye, and then she shrugs. “Maybe.”

There is absolutely someone. “Is it someone I know?” you press on, curious.

“Yes.”

You're not sure how to feel about that. On one hand... well, you're curious about who the hell this person is. On the other hand... you feel... jealous?

No, not jealous. More like... annoyed. Yeah… Annoyed.

Your hands grip the rag tighter. “Is it someone I know well?”

She pauses, her gaze flickering to you for a moment, before looking back at the drink. “Yes.”

Annoyance continues to simmer inside… strange.

Why does this annoying feeling keep poking and buzzing at your brain? maybe because you had someone in mind? someone who you wish she was talking about? or maybe it was just curiosity getting the better of you.

You try to shrug off the annoyance, continuing to clean the countertop.

“What do you think?” she asks, staring at the matcha latte art.

“I already told you it doesn't look bad,” you reply, still scrubbing at the counter. “You're getting better.”

“I'm always getting better,” she says, “You can taste it if you want.” She turns the drink towards you, holding it out.

You reach over and take the cup from her, your hands brushing against hers. She looks down to look at your fingers for a moment before returning to your face.

You bring the cup up to your lips and take a sip. The moment the liquid touches your tongue, it's as if all the annoyance evaporates. The drink she makes is always delicious. You manage to swallow before the noise threatens to escape from your throat. “Thanks,” you say, lowering the cup.

She just hums, staring at your lips. “You've got…” she begins, pausing to reach out.

She uses her thumb to gently brush away the remaining foam on your upper lip. Her touch is warm and soft, and you instinctively lean into the touch. Her lips are parted a bit, and you can see her teeth slightly biting into the bottom lip.

“Foam,” she finishes, pulling back her hand. “All gone.” She wipes her finger on her apron.

You can't explain the heat that crawls up your neck. “Thanks.”

She smiles a little, a strangely satisfied gleam in her eyes. “...no problem.”

She continues to stare at you, studying your face. You're not sure why you're so stuck on just staring at each other without talking, but it's like neither of you has anything to say.

It's almost awkward. But not exactly. Awkward would require you to be uncomfortable.

You're not uncomfortable with her eyes on you. It's kind of… comfortable. Like some kind of strange comfort. The kind you get after spending too much time around someone. And you've been around Jinx a lot these past few weeks.

Jinx is the first to break the eye contact by looking away. She clears her throat, staring at the coffee machine next to her. “I'm gonna... make some more coffee…” she mumbles.

And then she just turns and walks away.

You're left standing there, clutching the cup of matcha latte in your hands and staring at the back of Jinx's head as she begins brewing more coffee in the machine.

You're struck with the oddest of desires. You want to go over there, stand next to her, and stare at her face. You want...

You quickly stop yourself.

Why in the hell are you thinking like this? It's a ridiculous thought, that's what it is. You just need some sleep. All this damn thinking isn't going to help anything.

For the rest of your shift, you do your best to avoid looking at Jinx. Unfortunately, you keep finding yourself looking at her anyway.

—

“Are you gonna help me out, or you're gonna stare at your phone the whole time?” Jinx calls out, breaking your concentration.

You look up from the screen of your phone, then realize you've been scrolling aimlessly for the past ten minutes.

“Ohhh… yeahhhh right.” You set the phone on the counter next to hers. “Sorry,” you apologize, beginning to help her with the remaining closing tasks.

The café closing hours are always calm and relaxing. Usually, Jayce is there helping, chatting to you and Jinx. But tonight, Jayce is out doing something important, leaving just you and Jinx to close the café.

This isn't the first time. The two of you have closed the cafe together on several occasions.

You grab a towel and begin wiping down the tables and chairs, making sure to leave the café spotless for tomorrow. Jinx sweeps around the floor, humming something as she works.

When you're both finished cleaning, you and Jinx move to the last step of closing.

You start by putting up the chairs on the tables, stacking them neatly around so they don't collect any dust overnight. Jinx helps as well, putting up her share of chairs, then begins straightening up the chairs as you finish with yours.

Soon, all the chairs are organized on top of the tables, and the café is as tidy as a mouse's ass.

You walk over behind the counter and grab the boxes full of new cups from a low shelf. “Can you help me with this?” you ask, lifting the box and nodding at the other one.

She comes over and helps you, carrying it into the storage room. You trail after her, watching her as she places the box gently on top of the other boxes.

The storage room is a small room connected to the cafe, used to store supplies. The walls, made of concrete, are painted yellow. Inside, the room is tidy, neat, and somewhat small. The floor and walls are covered with several industrial metal racks, stacked with boxes of supplies. A single light bulb hangs from the center of the ceiling, illuminating the room.

You pause and set your box down as well, glancing at her as she dusts off her hands. “I swear, Jayce is way too paranoid about restocking,” she says, glancing around.

You nod. “He's definitely got a bit of a hoarding problem.”

“He'll probably start to fill up the back next.”

“And then he's gonna fill the manager's office.”

“And the bathroom.” She snickers, looking over the boxes. “I swear to god, he needs a damn therapist for this obsession.”

You share a laugh and turn towards the door, Jinx following behind you.

“Well, guess everything is in order-” you start to say, but pause when you turn the doorknob and find that it's locked. You frown and try pulling the knob again, harder this time. It still doesn't budge.

“What the hell?” Jinx comes up beside you and grabs the knob, rattling it a few times. She stops after a few seconds and tries again, but still no luck. “Fuck!” she exclaims, tugging the knob. “Why won't this stupid thing open?!”

“It's damn well jammed.” You kick the door, which does absolutely nothing.

“That's... not good,” Jinx mutters. “I guess this is one of the cons of having a paranoid boss.”

There are no windows into this room, and Jayce won't be back until tomorrow. The only way out is through the door, and it's clearly not budging.

“Looks like we're trapped,” you deadpan.

She swears again, staring at the door. “Of-fucking-course.”

“Guess we're stuck here until tomorrow.”

She grunts. “Great, just great. What are we going to do—wait, do you have your phone?”

“I do, but…” You search your pockets, realization dawning. “I think I left it on the counter.”

She pats her pockets too, and her face falls. “Ugh, same.”

There's a beat of silence as you both process this new information… you're screwed.

Jinx slides down the wall until she's sitting on the cold concrete. Her eyes glance at the other boxes, then back to you. “Are you just going to stand there?”

You sigh and slowly lower yourself next to her. “Guess not.”

“This sucks,” she grumbles, pulling her knees up to her chest.

You look at the storage room around you. There's not much in the storage room. It's all supplies—cups, espresso beans, various syrups, milk-

Oh, milk.

“At least we have food,” you say, pointing at the several cartons of milk stacked on one shelf.

Jinx glances at the milk and scoffs. “Yeah, if we plan on having heart disease. We'll be dead before anyone remembers we're locked in here.”

“Can't you just be a tad... optimistic?” you mutter. “Like you usually are?”

“I'm only optimistic when I'm caffeinated. Now I'm tired and miserable.”

The two of you go back to sitting in silence.

You take a quick glance around the storage room again, noting how bare it is. It's cold in here. No carpet or insulation. Just two people, three days' worth of food, and an uncomfortable concrete floor.

Jinx looks up at the ceiling, probably wondering if this is how her life ends.

“Stop sulking,” you say.

“I'm not sulking.”

“Yes, you are. You can stop being gloom and doom now, it's not that bad.”

“Oh yeah? it's not that bad? we're literally stuck in an empty storage room with nothing to do. Not to mention this floor is cold and uncomfortable-”

“Then sit closer. It'll be warmer,” you interrupt her rant. The moment the words escape your mouth, you realize how it could be interpreted.

You clear your throat awkwardly. No, it's not that bad. It's not... intimate or anything. You're not, y'know, trying to be close. It's just practical. Yes. Practical.

Her gaze flicks to the ground between you, and she shuffles closer, sighing. You watch silently as she scoots over, closer and closer, until your shoulders are touching.

Neither of you speaks for a few moments, both of you focusing on the door in front of you.

“Do you think ghosts are real?” she asks suddenly.

You turn your head to look at her. “Yeah, I think there's someone watching us in that corner.”

“Fuck you.”

“No, really.” You gesture to the darkest corner. “I think I just saw something move.”

She turns her head, staring at the far corner of the storage room. “Really?”

“Yep.”

Both of you stare at the corner for a few seconds. Nothing happens. The corner is completely still. Not a single speck of dust is moving.

She huffs and turns to glare at you. “I hate you.”

You huff in return. “The hell did I do?”

“You're trying to scare me.”

“Maybe I am.”

“If a goddamn ghost really is watching us-”

You cut her off. “What exactly are you worried about?”

“I- I don't know,” she stammers indignantly, “I just—ugh, whatever.”

“I mean, it's not like they'll do anything.”

She gives you a dubious look. “I bet they're already judging me.”

You grin at the thought. “Oh, definitely. I can feel them judging you right now.” You gesture at the dark corner again. “See that? that's Jessica.”

“Jessica?” she repeats.

“Yes, Jessica,” you say with a grin. “She died here and has been here a long time, waiting for the next victim.”

She eyes the corner again, narrowing her eyes. “I can't see anything. Not sure if the ghost is real.”

“She's real, alright. Watch this.” You point at the corner. “Jessica, give her a jumpscare.”

She looks back and forth at the corner, then back at you. “What-” She's cut off when you suddenly poke her side. “AHK-” she yells, jerking away from you. “You-!”

You grin at her. “See? Told you Jessica's real.”

“Are you trying to kill me?” she accuses, shoving you in the chest. “I hate you, you are the worst, motherfucker-”

“Jessica said you should watch your language.”

She swivels her gaze back to the corner. “Jessica can go suck my dic-”

“Jessica said you shouldn't talk to the dead that way.”

She gives you another indignant glare. “Jessica can eat my ass.”

“Ohhhhh, Jessica didn't like that.”

She looks at the corner again, trying to look intimidating. “Jessica, I don't like you.”

“Jessica said she's heartbroken.”

Jinx tries to kick your leg, but you dodge playfully. “Jessica's a damn liar.”

“Maybe Jessica should haunt you for the rest of your life,” you say, still grinning.

She scoffs, turning to look at you. “I bet it's worse to get haunted by a ghost than see a dead body,” she mutters, coughing.

Her words catch you off guard, and you look away, suddenly feeling guilty about joking with her. “Yeah.” You try to think of anything else to say. “Um. Sorry.”

She shrugs. “It's fine. It's just a stupid joke.”

Silence falls between you again, and you stare at the ground, not knowing what to say.

“What if…” you start after an awkward silence, “What if you're being haunted by someone you like forever… I mean, would it be better to get haunted by someone you like instead of… you know, someone you hate.”

She hesitates, looking at nothing in particular. “Uh... probably... yeah.”

“Yeah?” you repeat. “And who would you want to be haunted by?”

“No one,” she quickly replies. “I mean, it's not like I want to get haunted, I just think it would be better if I did.”

There's a beat of silence as the two of you sit, listening to the nothingness of the storage room.

“What if I haunted you?” she asks.

“You?”

Her eyes whip over to you. “Yeah, me.”

“You want to haunt me?”

“Why not?” she responds. “If I had to haunt someone, why wouldn't I pick you?”

You blink. “Why would you pick me?”

“Is a good reason really needed?” she asks, looking away from you. “Maybe I just want to be around you.” She says it nonchalantly, as if she's stating a fact.

A fact that makes no sense to you. Why would she want to stay with you? “That makes literally no sense.”

She shrugs, her knees bumping against yours. “Does it need to make sense?”

“Yes.”

“Why does it need to make sense?”

“Because-” you stumble over your words. “Because you don't get to just say things and expect me to understand-”

“Bullshit.” A retort is on the tip of your tongue, but she cuts you off again before you can respond. “Just answer this.”

“Answer what?”

She stares at you intently, eyes narrowed. “If I said I wanted to stay with you all the time, would that make sense to you?”

“Well, yeah. That makes sense. You already hang around me-”

“No, not just when we work. I mean-” she stops, staring at the floor in an attempt to avoid your gaze. “I want to… be with you.”

“You're already with me,” you say. “We're literally stuck in a storage room together.”

Jinx sighs exasperatedly. “No, I mean, I want to always be with you.” There's a pause. “And… if that means haunting you, then I'd want to haunt you.”

Your brain stops. What? She wants to be with you all the time? As in... always?

...

The floor is suddenly very interesting. You stare at the concrete, trying to process the words that just escaped her mouth.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

Your voice is too fast. “Why would you want-”

“Because I enjoy your company,” she interrupts you quickly, “and you probably wouldn't mind if I was around.” She stares at her fingernails, avoiding your eyes. “I'm just saying,” she continues, “It'd be pretty nice. Spending eternity with you.”

Something in your chest tightens at those words.

Spend eternity with you.

It dawns on you that you're feeling something that you haven't experienced before. Or maybe you've felt it before, on rare occasions. The feeling of your heart beating too fast, for no reason.

Your eyes dart to your hand, lying on your right leg. Her knee brushes against yours again. You look away from your legs and stare at her face.

She's still staring down at her fingers.

In the dim light of the storage room, her face is almost glowing… she looks beautiful. How can someone look so perfect, even when talking about such disturbing things?

Huh. It's strange. Someone who looks so beautiful, talking about something so disturbing.

She tucks a strand of blue hair behind her ear, eyes not lifting from her fingers.

You feel the urge to touch her.

Not in a weird way. But to feel the smoothness of her skin on your hand. To feel her hair run through your fingers. To… you don't know. Just feel her.

“Why-” you start, your voice too loud. You stop talking. Why are you trying to say something?

She glances up and stares back at you. “Hmm?”

“Why me? I mean... there are a lot of people in this shitty city or shitty world, so why would you like to stay with me?”

She looks at you and pauses for a moment. Her knee brushes against yours again, and she scoots closer, resting her head on your shoulder. “I don't care about the world. I just want you.” Her words are quiet, spoken only to you.

Everything in the storage room seems to disappear. The boxes that surround you have disappeared. Everything melts away, except for the girl, resting her head on your shoulder, and the words that she speaks to you. Just the two of you, in a room of shadows.

“You wouldn't mind, do you?” Her words rip you out of your thoughts.

“Mind what?” you respond stupidly.

“Spending an eternity with me.”

You lick your lips again, but your mouth is completely dry. Your throat is dry too. Your brain is going stupid.

You aren't sure why. It's just... the implication of her words. Of eternity with Jinx.

With the woman who made a shitty job… less shitty. With the woman who somehow made you look forward to the drink that you hated so much, all because she makes it differently. With the woman who taught you that there are some things, even disliked things, that can grow on you.

You realize you're smiling and quickly attempt to return a neutral expression.

You glance down at her head, right below your chin.

You imagine living with her constantly. Stuck with her. For eternity.

It would drive any sane person mad.

You aren't a sane person.

“I wouldn't mind... spending an eternity with you,” you hear yourself saying.

You can feel her smile even though you can't see it. She shifts on the floor, and suddenly her hand is sliding across the space between you. Her fingers are brushing against your arm, slowly creeping down as if to find yours.

“That's good,” she murmurs.

Her hand finally finds yours, she stops for a second, and then she slowly intertwines your fingers together.

You move your thumb across her knuckles, tracing the lines and veins. You'd thought about holding her hand once before. You'd never thought that it would make breathing so much more difficult.

Her thumb starts doing the same, tracing over your knuckles.

You glance at her hand, interlocked with yours. You stare at the bandages as Jinx continues to trace over your veins, the pads of her fingers soft and delicate as they brush against your skin.

Her hand is so gentle and yet also so rough at the same time. Rough, because you can feel the callouses, the slight scrapes across her knuckles. Gentle, because even with her rough skin, her hand still touches you so softly.

What would it be like, being with her forever? Always.

Would the moments like this become mundane? would it get old? holding her hand and sitting in a storage room, talking with her?

She pulls her head away from your shoulder and looks fully at you.

You notice how close she is. You could easily reach out and touch the strands of hair that fall over her forehead. Her eyes are dilated, looking at you with what can only be affection.

You realize how easy it would be to kiss her.

“I wouldn't mind it either,” she says.

Her eyelashes flutter, and her gaze darts to your lips. You feel a heat grow in your chest, and your own eyes drift to her lips, slightly parted.

You aren't sure who leans in, but one of you is shifting forward.

She swallows, and her tongue flicks out to wet her own lips. You find yourself unconsciously copying their movement, licking your bottom lip.

You think about how her lips would feel. Soft? Warm? What would it taste like-

And then she turns her head away from you and back into the corner, clearing her throat awkwardly. You clear your throat as well, trying to think of something else to focus on.

Anything but how close her lips were to yours.

She squeezes your hand briefly before letting go, and the loss of her touch leaves a cold feeling on your skin. “Uh-” her voice is slightly hoarse, “is Jessica still there?”

—

The next few days went by in a dull routine, one that you quickly fell back into. Wake up. Go to class. Study. Work. Classwork. Get some sleep.

It was just like the rest of any normal week, except one thing had changed.

Jinx.

Or rather, the lack of Jinx.

She hadn't shown up to work. You didn't know why, but the fact that you arrived at work and she wasn't there to hand you a matcha latte was definitely... odd.

You had gotten used to the smell of her matcha assaulting you the minute you stepped into work, to the point where the smell of coffee beans seemed unusually bland.

And now there was just coffee.

Even the matcha latte you had made yourself didn't taste the same. You're not sure why you had decided to make yourself a matcha latte.

It's stupid to do. You hate matcha, you've always hated it.

Too bitter. And yet...

No amount of sugar can seem to make it sweet, like Jinx somehow does. Nothing seemed to taste the same without her. Matcha, bitter. Coffee, bland. Café, boring.

Everything had suddenly, and quite inexplicably, felt wrong… like…

The sugar in the cabinet was suddenly moved to a new place, and you couldn't remember where the hell it was now because it wasn't where it was before. Or an apocalypse, but instead of surviving a nuclear blast or zombies, you now had to survive the absence of someone you didn't quite know you had begun to depend on so much.

You look at the clock. Only four hours left of this shift. Only four hours.

—

“Oh, did you not hear? Jinx is sick,” Jayce says. “She called saying she was sick, probably not coming in for a week or so.”

“Sick?” you echo.

“Yeah, she didn't sound too good.” He shakes his head as he continues making coffee.

“When did she call?”

He pauses what he's doing. “Uh... about a couple days ago.”

She called in over a couple days ago, and you're only being told now. “Couple days…” you repeat, just to clarify. “Why are you just telling me now?”

“I thought you knew?”

“No, I didn't.”

Jayce looks mildly annoyed as he finishes up a customer's order. “She told me she talked to you about it.”

“She talked to me? When?”

“Are you telling me she didn't talk to you?”

“She didn't. Not one word.”

He finishes the order and hands the coffee to a customer. “That's weird. You guys are close, I thought she would've told you that she was sick.”

Close. That's the word that sticks in your head when he says it. Close enough where she would've told you something as big as not being able to come to work for a week. Right? but she didn't tell you anything.

“She didn't tell me anything,” you say.

He scratches his chin. “Maybe she forgot to tell you?”

“Maybe.” Maybe.

Or maybe she was avoiding you. Maybe she just didn't want to talk to you. Maybe she suddenly had an epiphany about how you were close. Maybe she just didn't want to be close anymore. Maybe she got scared and regretted it.

But that makes no sense.

If she regretted it, why would she have held your hand so tightly? why would she have said that you were the person she wanted to spend an eternity with? why would she say it like it was something she had thought about for a while?

“Maybe you should go check up on her?” Jayce suggests, shaking his head like he can sense your train of thought going off the rails.

“Check up on her?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, she might appreciate some company. Someone to look after her while she's sick.”

“I'm not sure if-,” you begin, but you're cut off by Jayce.

“Come on, it'd be nice for her,” he urges. “She doesn't have anyone else around to check up on her.”

You remember her telling you that her last family was killed when she was a kid, and she lives alone. She also mentioned that her sister is in prison.

Yeah, maybe you should go check on her.

After all, why wouldn't you? it would be a perfectly reasonable thing to do. You cared enough about her to go see how she was doing.

You care about her, so it only makes sense to go check on her. “Yeah,” you say, “I'll go see her.”

“Alright. I can handle the rest of the shift if you want to go.”

—

The entire commute there is a test of your sanity.

It takes nearly two hours to finally reach her address, the commute filled with cramped subway trains and waiting in pouring rain for buses to show up. Your hair is wet and sticking to your face.

Carrying a bag of the matcha sweets she liked was easy enough, but the latte was a little more difficult. It kept sloshing in the cup and threatening to spill over the edge with every step you took. Still, you managed not to dump the drink all over yourself.

By the time you finally arrived at her apartment, all you wanted to do was collapse in a chair and take a nap for the rest of the year.

And it was only 4:35 in the afternoon.

You look at the piece of scrap paper that Jayce gave you with Jinx's address on it. Fifth floor, room 505.

With a weary groan, you take the stairs. The elevator is broken, and there's no way in hell you're taking that janky elevator. You feel like it might just get stuck halfway and drop you to your death.

When you reach her floor, you're pretty sure you're ready to die. You walk around the hall and look at the first few doors.

500... 501... 502… 503... 504...

You pass a group of teenagers who walk past you with their phones out, shouting at the top of their lungs and shoving each other around. A baby is crying in some apartment as you pass the door, and a dog is barking from behind another.

505.

You eye the door, taking a moment to catch your breath and try to straighten out your wet clothes. Here goes nothing.

You knock on the door. No answer at first. You knock again. Nothing.

You knock louder, hoping to get some kind of response. It's another solid minute of no answer, and you're getting increasingly annoyed. She's either asleep or-

The door suddenly opens.

“Yeah, who-” Jinx starts but then stops speaking entirely when she sees you. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

She's wearing a threadbare gray t-shirt that hangs off one of her shoulders and barely comes anywhere close to covering any of her thighs. She has a tissue shoved into her nose and dark circles around her eyes. Her hair is messy, unbrushed, and unkempt.

Is this really the same person who had been handing you daily lattes every day for two months?

“Well, that's a hell of a greeting,” you grumble, shifting your bag and the nearly spilled latte to your other hand.

She's looking at you like you've done something wrong. Actually, she's looking at you like she's trying to kill you with just a stare.

You hold up the bag. “Brought food.”

“You shouldn't be here,” she spits out before slamming the door shut.

…wow. That was a warm welcome.

All you wanted to do was give her food and check to see if she was ok. She was sick, alone, and she probably didn't have anything to eat. And she just slammed the door in your face?

Screw this. You turn around ready to leave but stop when you hear the door creak open.

“Hey.” You turn and look over your shoulder. The door is open, but only slightly. Jinx peeks her head out the door, glaring at you. “What kind of food?” she asks, pointing to the bag

Not the kind of apology you're hoping for, but you'll take it. “Matcha sweets and a latte that I made.”

“That actually sounds-” she cuts herself off and sniffles, “...alright.” She opens the door all the way and turns to go back into the apartment. “Come in or leave, but don't just stand there like an idiot.”

You scoff and step inside, cautiously shutting the door behind you.

The first thing you notice is the smell. It doesn't smell exactly like garbage, but it stinks of old clothes and day-old food. It's not quite disgusting, it's not quite nice, but it reeks. Like someone hasn't opened a window and aired out the apartment in a while.

The next thing you notice is how much everything there is. Clothes sprawled over the couch, cans of energy drinks strewn across the floor, boxes of takeout littering the kitchen counters.

“Make yourself at home,” she says sarcastically, kicking a pile of clothes out of the way so you can sit on the couch. She pulls a tissue out of her nose and tosses it onto the floor.

You tentatively take a seat on the couch, shifting the latte and bag to the coffee table. Your eyes dart around the room as Jinx continues to shove things off the couch and onto the floor.

The entire wall beside the couch is covered in papers... and notes... and equations. It looks like a bunch of chemical compounds and designs.

She doesn't seem to notice you staring at the wall as she collapses onto the other end of the couch.

There are a few diagrams of rockets and some drawings of the coffee shop. Drawings of her and her deceased family, her deceased friends, and a drawing of…

Wait-

Is that your face?

A drawing of your face is taped to the wall, scribbled with notes around it. ‘Nice lips.’

“What the-” you start, tilting your head to get a better look.

Jinx looks at you, noticing where you're staring, then follows your line of sight. She immediately turns red. “Oh. Uh-” she stutters, sitting up.

“Did you-” you try to ask.

“It's nothing,” she says quickly, jumping off the couch. She scrambles towards the wall, tearing off the drawing. “Just a—just a quick sketch, it means nothing.”

You're fairly sure it means something, but you don't get the chance to press her further as she rips the paper apart and throws it into the trash can, avoiding your gaze.

“Anyway-” she says, plopping back down on the couch, “-I bet the food's good, right?”

Food... right. That was the whole point of coming over in the first place. “Uh... yeah.”

You watch as she grabs the latte and takes a sip. “Ugh, this is too bitter.” She sets down the latte and pushes it away from her. “What'd you put in this? It tastes like dirt.”

“The same stuff I always put in it,” you respond, slightly annoyed at the insult to your latte making abilities.

She shrugs and picks up one of the matcha sweets instead, popping it in her mouth. “Might as well teach you how to make one when I'm back.”

You watch her chew the sweets, then pause, letting out a sniffle, then reach up to wipe her nose with the back of her hand.

She lets out a dry cough. “Why exactly are you here?”

“Jayce told me you were sick,” you reply.

“I'm not—wait, Jayce told you that?”

“Yeah, he did.”

“Why were you even listening to him?”

“Because I was worried about you.”

She looks at you for a moment, then turns to grab another tissue and shoves it into her nose. “I'm not sick... just busy.”

You pointedly look around. “Uh huh,” you grumble, “Doing what exactly?”

“Stuff.”

“Stuff like-” you gesture to the entire mess. “-this?”

“It's my midterms, idiot.”

“So, no one's been cleaning up?” you ask, eyes darting around again in the apartment.

“I don't have time,” she complains, before letting out a deep cough and clutching her chest in pain. “I have more important things to do. Besides, do I look like I can clean when I can't even breathe through my damn nose right now?” Jinx sniffs, then reaches for another matcha sweet, her hair falling over her face.

You give her a sidelong glance. “You look like you're about to keel over.”

“Don't be dramatic.”

“I'm not,” you say, reaching out a hand to touch her forehead, checking for a fever.

She swats your hands away. “Don't touch me.”

You retract your hand. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously. Why are you even here anyway? You don't have to worry about me.”

“I know I don't have to.”

“Then just go. I'm busy.”

You groan. “You're sick. You need, like, I don't know, someone to take care of you.”

“I'm fine-” she coughs again, “-I just need to-” Another dry cough, and she grabs another tissue. “I just need to-,” another cough, “-finish my midterm exam.”

“You need to rest.”

“I can't rest.”

“Why not?”

“Because I'm behind.”

“What's the exam?”

She pauses, then reluctantly gestures to the mess on the wall. “I'm trying to design something, and it requires a lot of diagrams and calculations.”

So that's what all those equations and numbers and notes are. But that doesn't explain why her apartment is such a wreck.

“And that's why you haven't cleaned up?” you ask.

She glares at you, tossing the used tissue. “How would you react if you had a deadline, and you were on the verge of throwing up?”

“I know you're stressed, but-”

“You don't know anything!” Jinx snaps all of a sudden, standing up and looking you dead in the face.

“Seriously, what's your problem?” you retort.

“My problem is that you're here when you shouldn't be-”

“I'm here because I was worried about you. You-”

She interrupts you again. “Well, you shouldn't be. I don't want your help.”

“You don't want my help,” you repeat slowly.

“You heard me.”

You bite your tongue and take a deep, slow breath. “Then…” you manage to choke out, “...whose help do you want?”

“Nobody's,” she mutters. “I don't need anyone's help. I've done just fine for years. I can do it myself.”

But you shouldn't have to.

She continues as she walks towards her bedroom. “I'm sick and tired and trying to finish something that's due in a few days, and I don't need you to come barging in, trying to-” She stops, clutching her chest and coughing again.

“You should be resting and taking it easy-” you coax, standing.

“I would be resting and taking it easy if you weren't here.”

You freeze, feeling yourself grow cold.

You know she's just cranky, that she's sick and upset that she's stuck like this, that her deadline is near, and that you're just the person who happens to be around.

“Sorry,” you mumble, “didn't know you wanted me gone.”

She opens her mouth, hesitating for a second, before nodding her head firmly. “I'm sick, and I need to finish some work. So just do me this one favor and get out.”

Her words are harsh, more harsh than you think you can handle.

But even more than the fact they were words of rejection and anger, what hurt was the feeling that those words were coming from the same woman who had, just days earlier, curled against you, told you that you were the one she wanted to spend an eternity with.

“Fine,” you say quietly, “If that's what you want.”

She looks at you, and you swear for a second you think you see her expression soften, but then she nods her head again. “Yeah, that's what I want.”

You glance around at the mess of diagrams and paperwork plastered on the walls, the trash littered everywhere, and the couch that looked like it hadn't been slept on in days.

“I'll see you at work,” you say lamely, turning away and walking towards the door.

She doesn't say a word to stop you. You open the door, and you want her to say something to stop, a please, a wait, or anything, but nothing comes.

With one last glance back at her, you leave.

—

“That was…” Jayce starts, pausing. “Did she even listen to you?”

“She was more dead set on booting me out of there.”

He lets out a breath. “She's stubborn.”

“Yeah,” you agree, “And stupid as hell.”

“But she's unwell,” he continues.

“Doesn't give her an excuse to say that I shouldn't be there.”

“True.” He looks over at you. “You look upset.”

You scoff. “Of course I'm upset. I show up to see how my friend is feeling, and her immediate response is to kick me out. Like she doesn't want me anywhere near her.”

Jayce frowns. “Don't take it too personally. She's not trying to hurt you on purpose. I'm sure that once she's feeling better, she'll apologize.”

—

She did not, in fact, apologize.

It's been over a week since you entered her apartment, Jinx isn't sick anymore and isn't busy with midterms, she's back to how she usually was. She talks, she laughs, she jokes but never looks in your direction, no word, no greetings… and not once does she ever slide a cup of matcha in your direction like she used to.

Whenever she works with you, she keeps things strictly professional. Her hands never accidentally brush against yours, and she never stands closer than necessary.

You've tried giving her space, hoping she'd approach you when she was ready to talk it out. But the space never got filled.

It's like, in a single day, you went from being... almost something to nothing.

—

Jayce calls out your name from the counter as you wipe down the tables.

“What?” you call back, watching as Jayce walks over to you.

He nods towards Jinx, who is currently chatting with a customer. “When are you going to talk to her?”

“When are you going to stop being so nosy?”

He snorts. “I want to help you two sort this out. She's too stubborn, and so are you.”

“She doesn't want to talk to me,” you reply.

“Because you both are too proud.”

“Or I just don't want to go chase after her when it's clear she doesn't want to talk to me.”

Jayce sighs. “Look, you're my friend, I want to help you work it out.”

“She doesn't want to talk, Jayce,” you say firmly. “I don't know how to fix this if she's ignoring me.”

“That's the point, you have to make her talk.”

You scoff. “Yeah, make a girl talk who probably wants me dead right now.”

“She doesn't want you dead. Do you think it's a coincidence that she makes a point to talk to all the other regulars?”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

He lifts his shoulders. “I'm just saying, every time you're here, she tends to talk more to the customers, especially the male ones.”

“Are you saying she's flirting now?”

“No, I'm saying she's doing it for your attention.”

“Why would she be doing it for my attention? She made it pretty clear she doesn't want me around.”

He throws his arms up. “Because she wants you to get jealous. She wants you to react to it. She wants you to get mad and do something about it.”

“How would you know?”

“Maybe the fact that she's been glancing at you every five minutes for the past hour?”

“...she's not.”

“Yes, she is.”

“Stop saying that, I see her right-” and your sentence cuts off as your eyes flick over to where Jinx is, she's still talking to a customer.

The customer leans closer to her and says something that clearly makes her laugh. Her eyes dart in your direction as she laughs.

She's definitely looking at you. Jayce is right, she is looking at you. Her laughter dies at the same time her eyes lock on yours. She averts her gaze the moment she sees that you caught her.

“See?” Jayce says, “She keeps looking at you. She's doing it for your attention, not anyone else's.”

“Okay, so let's say she's doing it for my attention,” you continue. “What am I supposed to do about it? You said it yourself, she's stubborn.”

“You're going to have to do something that gets her attention. Make her upset, make her angry, make her do something. She won't talk unless you push her to.”

You stare at him. “Are you really implying what I think you're implying?”

He grins smugly. “That depends, what do you think I'm implying?”

“You're asking me to make her jealous.”

“I'm not asking you to do anything,” he retorts. “I'm suggesting you do it because it'll work. Do you want to continue like this, ignoring each other, for god knows how long? or do you want to get this sorted out?”

It sounds absurd. Ridiculous. Stupid. Immature. But if it makes her talk to you… “You really think it'll work?” you finally relent.

He grins knowingly. “Oh, it'll definitely work.”

—

It was a really stupid idea, especially coming from Jayce. But he was pretty adamant about it, and you were a bit too desperate.

You're trying your best to not scratch at the sleeve of this stupid shirt that Jayce forced you to wear. It's a dark blue long sleeve. Jayce claimed to have worn it on a ‘date,’ and it ‘worked’ with the person he was trying to date at the time. Now, you're the one wearing it.

“This is stupid.”

“No, it isn't,” Jayce insists from behind the counter. “It'll definitely work.”

“It's dumb.”

“Will you just do it?” he huffs. “She's going to be here soon.”

There's no way in hell this would work. It's just a shirt. There's no way that Jinx would-

The bell on the cafe door rings as it opens.

Jinx is walking through the door. She spots the counter where Jayce and you are, and she stops for a second.

She takes a look at you from head to toe, her gaze lingering longer on the dark blue shirt, and then she forcefully looks away from you and begins walking towards the break room where the lockers are.

Jayce elbows you in the side, nodding in her direction. “See? It's working-”

You elbow him back. “She just went to the break room, how is that working?”

“That was just the first step. Wait and see.”

—

You stand by the coffee machine, waiting for it to finish brewing a drink for a customer. Jinx is on the other side, making a different drink.

The machine's steam causes the sweat on your lower forearms to be sticky, causing the cloth to cling to your skin, and so you roll them up slightly, just above the elbow.

You make a point to not look at her, but you feel her attention fall onto your forearms, her eyes trailing down to the way your arms look, seeing the cloth of the shirt clinging from the sweat.

At the corner of your eye, you see her biting her lip, her breath hitching, and there's a subtle flush on her cheeks.

She looks away the second she realizes that you caught her staring at your arms, but it was enough for you to know that she was.

It's working. Damn it, it's actually working.

—

You feel her breath on the back of your neck as she reaches behind you for the coffee machine, her body just barely brushing against your back.

She quickly pulls away, going back to her end of the counter. “It's really hot in here,” she mumbles.

You nod, picking up a towel and wiping some sweat off your neck, lifting the collar of your shirt to wipe off your collarbone. “I know, the air conditioning really sucks.”

She stares at you, her eyes traveling down your neck to your collarbone. “It's hot in here…” she repeats. Then, she swallows and looks away with a cough, the steam from the machine giving a good excuse for the redness on her face. “Yeah, it really sucks.”

It goes on like that. Glances are stolen. Awkward touches are exchanged. The air seems to grow hotter every time you're near her.

You're surprised neither of you have passed out from heat exhaustion yet.

—

“Are you free this Friday..?” The customer in front of you asks.

You're well aware of the fact that Jinx is behind you. You can hear her moving around. “Uh, I-” you pause, trying to ignore the eyes that are boring into your skull. “Yeah. Why?”

“Do you have a…” she trails off and glances over your shoulder, “Girlfriend?”

Jayce coughs obnoxiously beside you as he wipes the countertop. You almost give him a look, but instead, you shake your head. “No, I'm single.”

There's a loud bang behind you. Jinx bumps something, and whatever it is clanks against the floor.

“Really?” she continues, her voice raising a tone. “A pretty girl like you doesn't have a girlfriend?”

Jayce says something under his breath, and you swear you hear a muttered “yet.”

You ignore him and respond to the customer. “Uh, you think I'm pretty?”

The customer looks you up and down, her eyes stopping just below your chest before slowly trailing down. “Yeah, you're pretty hot,” she replies as she leans forward, resting her hand on the counter and showing off way more skin than what most would consider decent.

“Ah, thank you,” you say politely, forcing your gaze to stay on the customer's face and not... anywhere else. “You're pretty yourself.”

There's another clang behind you.

The customer laughs and twirls a strand of her hair. “I bet you say that all the time.”

Jinx steps around you, almost brushing against your side.

“Not really,” you reply, keeping your eyes trained away from her. “I don't really-”

You're interrupted suddenly by Jinx, who is now standing directly beside you, grabbing something from the shelf. She leans in closer, her chest almost brushing against your arm as she grabs something.

It's the first time she's been so close to you in weeks.

She leans back, holding a container of matcha powder—the same one she always uses to make your latte—and she looks you in the eye. “You want your latte, right?” she asks you. She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

Yes. You miss her matcha latte so much. “No,” you force yourself to say, avoiding her eyes.

“Oh,” she says, she sounds surprised? “Really?” She looks down at the matcha powder, running a thumb over the label, and looks back up at you.

Don't look at her. “Yeah, I... I don't want one,” you lie.

“Are you sure? It's been a while since you had my matcha latte.”

You want one so much. You want her to smile and be carefree and make you a latte that will warm you down to the core, but- “I'm sure,” you lie again. “I'm good.”

“That's... that's a shame.”

“Yeah,” you reply, and you want to punch yourself because no, it's not a shame, it's a sin. You are an idiot. “Definitely a shame.”

She's just a few inches away, and all you want to do is reach out for her, take her into your arms, and make her look at you, but she looks at the matcha in her hands.

“Guess I wasted this then,” she mumbles before putting the container back and starting to take orders from the other customers.

“Idiot,” Jayce mutters, and you elbow him hard in the gut. He doubles over, clutching his stomach, and you turn back to the customer.

“Uh… anyway,” you say, then turn your attention back to the customer, forcing yourself to smile. “What were you saying?”

—

After a long shift, the café is finally empty, and the cleanup is done. You've mopped up the floors, put everything away, you're starting to get all nice and sweaty, and the break room has a much-needed air conditioner.

You open your locker and shoved your apron inside, sweat clinging to your shirt and making it cling to your skin. You grimace and reach down, trying to fix the collar of the shirt that feels tighter than normal.

Before you have a chance to readjust it, a glimpse of something in the locker catches your eye. You look down, and there, sitting in the center of your locker, is a cup of matcha latte.

You didn't put it there. Jayce didn't put it there either. So there is only one other person who could have put it there.

You pick up the cup, looking at the steaming drink. Well, you aren't going to drink it just to let it go to waste.

You immediately take a sip, feeling the warm, sweet taste of matcha on your tongue. It's been so long since you had this, and it's still the same taste as the ones she used to make for you when you two were in a... good place.

That was a long time ago now. Things are different now.

“So you do want one.”

A familiar voice makes you jump, causing you to almost spill the drink. You turn around to find the bluenette leaning against the doorframe to the break room.

“I made it for you, in case you wanted it,” she adds, entering the break room, then leaning one shoulder against the row of lockers. Jinx looks at your face, then your shirt. “You look sweaty.”

You want to say something, but your brain forgets how to function when she's looking you up and down.

“I like the shirt,” she comments, pointing at the shirt that is a little too tight around your shoulders. “It looks good. Fits you well.”

“It's not my shirt,” you reply, placing the cup down on a nearby table, hoping that she'll let that be the end of that. “Jayce gave it to me.”

“He did?” she asks, and you catch a subtle whiff of her favorite perfume. It makes you want to grab her and drown in it.

“Uh, yeah,” you mutter, pulling the collar of your shirt nervously.

She looks over to your nervous gesture, and her lips twitch. “You should loosen the collar,” she notes. “You're going to suffocate like that.”

Her comment gives you pause, and you try loosening the collar, but your sweaty hands can't get a grip. “Here.”

She reaches up, her delicate fingers undo the first few buttons of your shirt, exposing your collarbones. Her fingers then pull the collar slightly, allowing your hot skin the cool touch of air.

“There,” she murmurs once the collar is loose. “That looks more comfortable.”

You manage to find enough sanity to nod, knowing that if you speak now, your voice will most likely crack. You expect her to pull back, but her fingers remain, trailing over your collar as though they just happened to land there.

Her eyes roaming over your neck before lifting to your face. Your eyes are caught on her as well, studying every movement of her face, the way her expression softens and her eyes drift over your features.

“...I'm sorry.”

The words finally bring your attention back. “What?”

She pauses, biting her bottom lip. “I said I'm sorry,” she clarifies. “I... I shouldn't have snapped at you like that a week ago. Shouldn't have said what I said.”

“Then why did you?” you ask, eyes fixed on her lips.

Jinx seems to struggle with her next words, her hand finally dropping from your collar. “...I don't know how to handle things well,” she whispers, “I wasn't... I wasn't feeling well either. That's why I lost it. You showed up... when I wasn't in the right mind frame, and I said all these stupid things-”

She sighs and pushes some hair behind one of her ears. “I was stupid. I was stupid, and I said some awful things. Words I didn't mean and couldn't take back. Everything with my college work started to pile up, and I felt like I couldn't handle it. So you showed up and-” she swallows. “-I took it out on you… and then I just ignored you for a week.” She shifts from foot to foot. “I… I wasn't trying to avoid you. I just... I thought you'd be annoyed.”

“Annoyed because you were ignoring me?”

“No—yes—maybe—I don't know, alright?” she says hastily. “I just... I wasn't in the mindset to talk, ok? I was trying to figure things out.”

“You could’ve told me-”

“-I don't do so well when it comes to opening up about my feelings-” she stops, then shakes her head. “-I don't do so well with being honest with myself.”

You let out a breath. “I know... I know you don't, but that-”

“Stop,” she interrupts you, raising a hand. “Just... stop. I know what you're going to say. You're going to say that I should work on being better instead of pushing you away.” She continues. “I know I do it. I know I'm bad at it, and I'm not good with my emotions. I know I'm not the best at saying how I feel. I know I should work on my communication.”

“Why don't you then?” you ask bluntly. “Why don't you do something about it? why can't you just try to deal with things instead of pushing me away and dealing with everything alone? why can't you just talk to me instead of bottling everything up?”

She closes her eyes, looking away. “I don't know,” she exhales, “I just... I don't know how.”

“You could start today,” you tell her, reaching out. Your fingers brush over the back of her hand.

Her eyes drop to where you touch her and linger.

“Right now,” you emphasize, “Just... try. You don't have to start working on all your emotions and feelings. Just say one thing. Tell me how you feel, right now.”

She shakes her head, refusing to look at you.

“Tell me one thing,” you insist, “Just one thing. Try.”

She sighs, as if you're the worst person in the world. Maybe you are. “Okay-” she starts and finally looks up, “If you're trying to make me spill out my feelings-”

“I am,” you confirm. “That’s exactly-”

“-Then maybe I should show you first-” she continues over you “-What I'm feeling.”

She suddenly reaches out and grabs the back of your neck, gripping it tight enough to pull you forward.

“Hey-” you stumble, hands instinctively wrapping around her waist, but any protests you might've had are smothered because her lips are suddenly on yours.

A week of ignoring each other, and suddenly she's kissing you.

Her lips are so soft. So soft and insistent, and when you don't respond because your brain is still trying to catch up, her teeth graze over your bottom lip, and it's this gesture that snaps you out of it.

You kiss her back, eyes finally closing, and lean in to meet her. Your fingers sink into the fabric of her shirt, and her arms wind around your neck. Her mouth parts, and you take the silent invitation, your tongue slipping in, exploring the inside of her mouth.

She tastes like the feeling when it's cold, and your teeth ache, and it feels like all warmth has left your body, but then you take a sip of your hot drink, and the burn of the drink goes down your throat, and you feel just the tiniest bit warmer. It's not enough, it isn't enough to make your fingers warm or the tip of your nose, but still, the small warmth you feel is better than none.

You want to bottle up this feeling, this taste, and store it in the back of your throat until, when you need it, you can just swallow and feel the warmth.

She hums, low in her throat, and it sounds like a moan. She pushes you forward until your back is met with the lockers, pinning your body between the hard surface and herself.

Her teeth graze your lip again, her tongue teases yours, and you shiver despite the warmth you feel. “I was stupid,” she mumbles against your mouth, “So, so stupid.”

You grunt out some sort of agreement because yes, she is stupid and yes, you're stupid and yes, you're both idiots for ignoring each other.

You feel her smile before she pulls herself away. “That,” she murmurs, breathless, “that was what I was feeling.”

You open your eyes to look at her, and notice her pink cheeks, half-lidded eyes, her swollen lips, and you fight down the urge to turn her around and just shove her back against the locker and kiss her senseless.

“Are-” you manage, breathing hard, trying to regain the words that have fled from your head, “Are all your emotions channeled through your mouth?”

“Maybe,” she says, eyes dropping to your lips. “Is there a problem with using my mouth?”

There are a lot of words you would like to say. Words relating to how her mouth has driven you crazy for a long time, that you've spent more time than you'd like to admit imagining what it would be like to kiss her and see that mouth do things other than talking.

Too bad, all those words are stuck in your throat. “No,” you grit out, “No... there's no problem.”

“Great,” she replies, then grins, leaning closer until your noses bump. “Then maybe my mouth has more things to show you.”

—

The usual routine of making matcha lattes continues, and the days slowly pass.

Each day, Jinx greets you with a smile and a cup of that disgustingly good matcha. You no longer try to argue with your taste buds. You have given up and accepted the matcha as a part of yourself. Now you drink the horrible drink willingly.

And your relationship with Jinx went from ‘maybe something’ to ‘maybe nothing’ to ‘definitely something.’ You're finally dating, which isn't to say that everything is magically all better. Jinx is still Jinx, and you're still you.

So not everything changes.

The cafe still looks the same, the customers still act the same, you still have to deal with shitty customers and traffic. But even through all the normal, unchanged things, there's one thing that's different.

Jinx is now in your life.

“Hey-” Jinx waves a hand in front of your face. “Are you listening to anything I'm saying?”

“Uh-” you blink, returning to reality. “...yeah,” you lie, giving a sheepish smile, “totally listening.”

She stares at you for a long, long moment, as if trying to determine if you're lying to her or not. Apparently, she thinks you're being truthful.

“Great, now pay attention.” She resumes her instructions, and you try your hardest to pay attention. Mostly. Maybe.

You watch as she grabs a glass bottle from the shelf above the coffee machine and pours a small amount of... something into her mug. “What's that?” you ask.

“Honey.”

“Yeah?”

“Honey,” she repeats, tilting the bottle for you to see. “Honey. Sweet, golden honey.”

Ah, that honey. “That's what I thought.” You nod, like that completely makes sense.

Jinx rolls her eyes but hands you the bottle so you can read the label for yourself. “This,” she explains, “is what makes my matcha better.”

You look between the bottle and the mug of matcha before placing the honey back on the shelf.

She stirs the matcha and takes a sip, then gives you a smug look. “See? That's why it's better.”

The honey is almost as sweet as the way she's looking at you.

“Sweet,” is what you say instead of how you'd love nothing more than to taste it off her lips.

She stares at you for a moment, and then she smirks. “Want to try it?” she asks, holding out the cup.

“Sure,” you answer. Why not?

You reach for the cup and lift it to your mouth. You take a small sip of the hot liquid, and… the matcha is sweet, and sweeter because it was in her mouth only moments ago.

“What do you think?” she asks as she takes the drink and sets it on the counter.

“Perfect,” you admit, licking your lips, trying to get rid of some of the sweetness.

She lifts up a hand, her thumb brushes against your lip, wiping away the remnants of the matcha. “You missed a bit.”

You want to grab her hand and-

She pulls her hand away from your mouth and then sucks off the same thumb that had lingered against you while staring at you directly in the eye. “Mhm… Tastes better this way.”

That's it. You'll drag her into the break room and kiss her until neither of you can breathe-

But, before you can do any of that, the cafe door chimes.

Customer, your brain reminds you. It's like getting pulled from a dream... right as it's getting good.

“Hey,” she whispers, “Let's continue this later, yeah?”

That... sounds like a great idea. Amazing idea. Customer first. And then later.

—

The wind whips through both of your hairs as you pedal down the sidewalk. After putting in long hours and some very generous coffee tips, you've saved up enough to finally repair your bike.

Your ears pick up a familiar chuckle. “This is awesome!” she exclaims, “We're like birds, but cooler.”

Jinx's arms are wrapped around your waist, her legs pressed up beside your thighs, and you don't need to see her face to know that she's grinning.

You grip the handlebars tighter. “We're nothing like birds,” you reply, “Birds can actually fly.”

You feel the soft brush of her lips against the back of your shoulder. “But we're much cooler, right?” she counters.

Your retort dies in your throat as she presses her chin to your shoulder.

“Mmm, I'll take your silence as a yes,” she hums, her breath tickling your ear. She nuzzles her nose against the back of your neck. “You know, I don't think I've ever been this happy.”

“Ever?” you ask, focusing on the road in front of you. “Of all the years you've lived, you're the happiest now? when you're sitting on a bike, of all things?”

She pinches your waist, making you twitch slightly. “Well, if we're being honest, it's not the bike I'm happiest about,” she replies. “It's you that I'm happiest about.”

You roll your eyes to yourself. She's always so honest. You're grateful that she isn't in front of you, because your face feels unusually warm despite the breeze. “You like me that much?” you ask, half joking, half serious.

“Mmm,” she hums, “I like you a lot, actually. Like... a lot, lot.” Each word is emphasized with a light kiss to your shoulder.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yup,” she continues to pepper kisses on your back. “My favorite person in this whole, shitty city.”

“I'm honored,” you quip, trying to sound mocking, but the tone is ruined by the fact that you're smiling without realizing.

She snorts at your lame response against your shoulder, and you feel the brush of her fingertips underneath the hem of your shirt.

“You might be my favorite person too.”

“Only might?” She laughs. “You don't sound very certain.”

“Eh, it's a hard competition,” you reply, making a slow turn left, “There's lots of people in this city-” and you feel her pinch your side again. “But, yes, maybe you're my favorite.”

“Maybe?”

“Definitely,” you correct, feeling her hum against your back.

“Ah, there we go,” she says approvingly. “I knew you had great taste.”

Your smile is wide, and you have the urge to turn around and kiss her, but you're pretty sure that will result in a crash. “Oh, and how did you know?”

“I just had a feeling,” she murmurs, “I always had a feeling we'd end up like this.”

You focus on pedaling, your feet moving in a circular rhythm. “Did you just... know?”

“Yeah. I just knew.”

“You just... knew?” you repeat.

“Sometimes you just know when something is going to happen,” Jinx says. “It just makes sense. Like how the sun will rise every morning... or something.”

You pedal forward, the subway entrance comes into view. “Like the sun will rise every morning,” you repeat, “or something.”

She pauses, and the sound of the wind is the only thing that fills your ears. “You know…” she starts after a moment of calm silence.

She presses her forehead against your shoulder, her grip tightening around your waist, and you can hear her drawing in a deep, shaky breath.

“When I'm bored,” she whispers, and you can feel her hair brush up against your nape, “I sometimes think about you.”

She continues. “It sounds weird, but yeah. I don't think about you in a ‘sexual way’ that people do with crushes or anything like that. I just... want to be with your presence or see your smile or hear you laugh... or just sit with you.”

You blink, surprised by her words.

“You make me feel better than anyone else can, and I've had to watch your ass almost every day when you're at the café.”

“That's my fault? you never had to watch my ass, that's a choice you made.”

She scoffs, pinching your side again. “Shhhhh, I'm having a moment here.”

You chuckle softly. “Right, sorry, sorry. Continue.”

“Thank you-” she huffs. “Anyway, I just…” Jinx pauses, her words coming to a stop, and you continue to pedal in silence.

“Sometimes, when I'm not happy or sad, I just... think about you. When I'm lonely and I need someone to say something... when I'm really angry and when I'm so tired of everything and everyone... I think about you. I don't understand why I feel that way. I know that it's not normal.” She hesitates, and you can feel her fingers tighten around your abdomen. “Because even though it's not normal, I don't think it's wrong. I just want to… have you by my side.”

Her words echo in your head, and you find yourself listening more intently than you thought you would.

She sucks in another breath. “I don't care what we're doing, I don't care what we talk about... I just want you to be around.” She presses another soft kiss to the back of your shoulder and buries her face in your shirt once again, mumbling, “I'm happy.”

You swallow, taking your left hand off the handlebar to place it over her hands. “I... I want to be around you too.”

She sighs in relief. “I'm a bit insane,” she whispers. “I'm not.. normal.”

“I don't care if you're not normal,” you reply quietly, your fingers brushing across her knuckles. “Who wants to be normal, anyway?”

She chuckles and kisses your shoulder, inhaling your scent.

You can see a glimpse of the subway station just ahead, the entrance of a tunnel on standby.

You pedal slowly, taking a few more seconds to enjoy the wind and the warmth of Jinx's behind, and then come to a stop in front of the subway entrance.

Her arms loosen their grip on your waist, and you feel the heat of her body leave your back as she hops off the seat. You swing your legs off of the bike and put down the kickstand before facing her.

Your eyes trail over to the tunnel, the sounds of the trains coming in and out of the subway filling the night sky.

“This is me.” She jerks a thumb towards the entrance.

You nod. “See you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow. Work. Yeah.”

“Yeah,” you echo.

You can see people walking into the station in your peripheral vision, the world continuing to go on despite the standstill you're in. Your eyes don't leave her as you both hesitate, neither of you wanting to leave. You're both just standing awkwardly, looking at each other.

You can't help but look at her with fondness. She's not even doing anything, just standing in front of you, and you still think that she's the most beautiful person in the world.

You watch her smile in response, and you have the urge to reach out, wanting to pull her back into you.

“Guess I should…” her voice trails off, and she makes a gesture with her hand. “Subway time.”

“Yeah…” you say softly, “Subway time.”

She doesn't move, though. Neither of you do.

Her eyes flit between the tunnel and you, and she gnaws at her lower lip. “You should, uh…” she begins, “...go.”

“Yeah, I should…” You should. You know you should. You should pedal back to your apartment, maybe do some dishes, and go to bed. You have class tomorrow, and Jinx is going into the subway.

But you take a step forward. She looks at the ground. “Are you... are you going to hug me?”

“Should I?”

She shrugs. “I don't know. Do you... want to?”

“I could be convinced.”

She rolls her eyes but smiles anyway. “Yeah? you could be convinced, huh? what would it take for you to agree then?”

You tap your chin with your index finger, pretending to think. It's not like you need to put much thought into it. “I don't know. A few hundred bucks? A fancy dinner? Maybe a yacht?”

She smacks your arm with a huff and a glare. “You aren't taking this seriously.”

“Oh-” you say, clutching the fake wound, “You're brutal. I'm wounded, I'm injured-”

She crosses her arms and gives you a deadpan look. With a laugh, you step forward and wrap your arms around her waist. Her arms immediately slide over your shoulders as she burrows herself into your neck.

You breathe in her scent, closing your eyes. Your chin rests on her shoulder comfortably, and you feel her fingers slide into your hair.

“Just one more second,” she whispers.

You nuzzle her neck in response, and her fingers tighten around the back of your head. Her breath ghosts against your ear, and you swallow, feeling the goosebumps rise on the back of your neck.

You could stay like this with her for an eternity. On the sidewalk in front of the subway entrance. You could take turns leaning on her shoulder.

But the world doesn't work like that, and your moment is being watched by a few strangers walking in the entrance. She pulls back just far enough to be able to look at you but still holds onto you.

Her hands cup your cheeks, and you find yourself staring at each other for a few seconds, her face lit up by the orange glow of a nearby streetlamp.

She's looking at you, you're looking at her, and the world hasn't collapsed. Her eyes trail over every feature, and you wonder if she sees you the same way too—if she finds each piece of you as beautiful as you do of her.

She brushes her thumb lightly over your cheek and the corner of her lips twitches into a smile. Her smile widens as she looks at you, showing the slight gap between her two front teeth, and it's- it's…

You blink, feeling your knees grow weak, you can almost hear the sound of wedding bells and wonder if you've just found the closest thing to heaven on earth.

She presses a light kiss to your nose. “See you, partner,” she murmurs. She takes hold of your chin with one hand and presses another kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“See you,” you repeat. You can't help but smile, a bit dumbly.

She stares at you for a second longer before finally letting go of your chin and stepping back. You try to memorize every detail of her as she walks backward. “Call me when you get home, 'kay?” she says.

You nod. “Okay”

She stops in the subway entrance and offers a small wave.

You wave back, but you keep waving even after she disappears into the tunnel. You keep waving, even after the last of her is gone, until you're just standing there like a fool, waving goodbye to the empty subway entrance. You realize just how dumb you look, waving to nothing, and finally drop your hand.

You tear your eyes away and stare at the bike that sits abandoned on the sidewalk, waiting for you. You finally pick up the kickstand and grab the handles, starting to pedal.

You think about tomorrow.

Tomorrow is when you're going to deal with shitty customers in the shitty city.

Tomorrow is her smile as she hands you your cup, making your day before it even starts.

Tomorrow is drinking a matcha latte, a drink you used to hate, but now you look forward to it, because she makes it.

Tomorrow is her arm around your waist as you take her to the subway.

Tomorrow is her pulling away and saying, “See you, partner.”

Tomorrow with her… and it's almost as if, for the first time, you don't dread tomorrow.