#i can't start because it's gonna be too much fun

[natsboygirlfriend]

୨ৎ CHRISTMAS TREE FARM — 🌲

summary : christmas for your girlfriend is uneventful and frankly boring, so you invite her to come with you to your grandparents' christmas tree farm for the holidays

pairing : natalie scatorccio × fem!reader

not proofread and uhhh 1.6k words jesus christ

a/n : uh uh uh this is my first fic so don't make fun of me... this is like a montage thing because i got bored when the scene was too long. ALSO tell me if nat is ooc pls. like I TRIEDDDD but idk. this is absolutely a taylor swift reference, but it's very loosely based on the song itself but I tried

you tap on nat's shoulder before the beginning of class, her head whipping back as if she didn't notice you beforehand.

"what are you doing for christmas?" you asked curiously, leaning over the desk with your knees on the edge of the seat.

"nothing much..." she shrugged.

"really?" your eyebrows quirked up, not really believing her. there's no way she was doing nothing at all for christmas.

"really." she nodded. "we didn't even put a tree this year."

your face contorted into one of surprise, not even a tree? "seriously?" you questioned again, to which she just nodded.

you felt bad for nat. she seemed so okay with doing nothing to celebrate, like it was normal.

she noticed the sympathetic look on your face, sighing as if she were used to it. "it's fine. I don't like christmas that much anyway." she assured, shrugging again.

you scoffed, immediately jumping to offer her a better christmas. "how about you come with me for christmas?"

"every winter break, my dad ships me off to my grandparents in pennsylvania. it's fun." you smiled, hoping she'd say yes.

"I don't know..." she repiled, trying to let you down gently before you cut her off quickly.

"come on, pleaseeeee!!! it'll be so much fun with you there!" you plead, leaving no room for interruption as you continued. "there's so much festivals and parties, and I never have anyone my age to be with pleasepleasepleaseplease—"

as you berated nat with pleases, the bell rung signaling class has now started, the class silencing, you now getting stares for your loud voice.

you found yourself blushing with embarrassment, sitting back correctly in your seat before the teacher started talking, nat stifling a giggle as she looked back to the front of the class.

after class and not very much convincing she agreed to go, and a week later, you two were in pennsylvania.

"so, what are we doing today again?" she asked, stuffing her hands in her jackets pockets, watching you tie your shoes.

"uhh well, first we gonna go eat and then go run errands for the party." you explained, standing up, meeting her at eye level.

she nodded with a grimace at the mention of 'party'. "do we really have to be at the party? can't we just stay in your room? we can watch that one movie with the turbo dude." she asked with a chuckle.

"what's with the push back on the party? you like parties." you smiled back, walking to open the door, letting her walk through first.

"christmas parties are completely different. It's just fruitcake and awkward questions about school." she scoffed, walking past you.

"it's not that bad." you followed behind her, closing the door and walking beside her. the cold biting at your faces and snow crunching under your feet.

you two made a b-line for the car, rushing in and turning the heater on.

"can we at least leave if it's as bad i know it will be?" she asked sarcastically with a shiver in her voice as the warmth hit her, her back hitting the passenger seat.

"fine. but you will enjoy it." you answered, relaxing in the car before you started driving. "sure i will." she scoffed as she smiled.

all you could hear was christmas songs on various speakers, adults chatting, and kids screaming and running like animals.

some were in the barn where it was warmer and smelt like food and pine, others we dancing under the pretty warm string lights hung on the trees and pillers.

nat clung to your side, only talking when it was to you or when your family members pestered about who she was in your life.

"y'know, I'm not sure how I feel about you call me just a friend." nat taunted, sipping on her apple cider that was still warm.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes at the tease. "shuddup." you push her with no real force.

"so you like it?" you asked, changing the subject. she tilted her head slightly in response. "the party." you clarified, making her click her tongue and nodded as she understood.

"its pretty, I guess." she shrugged nonchalantly. you looked at her with unimpressed expression. "nat."

"it's cute! not as annoying as I expected." she answered. "so you like it?" you raised your eyebrows with expectatance, and she sighed. "just a little." she smiled, looking around before quickly kissing your cheek.

after a week filled with christmas movies, parties, and festivals, it was finally christmas morning, and you were awoken by nats body warmth contrasting the cold of your room.

you sat up with a yawn, rubbing your eyes as the holiday spirit waited to invade your brain. you turn your head to look at nat sleeping comfortably on her side, and you had half a mind to just cuddle back to her and rest for longer, but you know your grandparents were early birds and would come to wake up any moment.

"nat." you croak out, your voice soft from just waking up, shoving her lightly in a half assed attempt to wake her.

"nattttt." you continue, shaking her shoulder before she started whining, waking, curling more into the blanket to where her fried blonde hair only peaked out.

"come on. it's christmas." you stated, shoving her again. you moved your body so you were sitting on your legs, facing her. "come onnnnnnn." you murmur, laying your body weight on top of her, hearing a muffled groan from the covers.

she poked her eyes out of the blanket, looking at you with a sleepy look on her face. "fine. get off." she mumbled, pushing you off of her with a smile, sitting up.

"I don't even see the point of me going down. you're the one opening the gifts." she argued, stretching her back.

"I got you plenty of gifts. obivously." you scoffed, acting offended at the notion of you leaving her giftless on christmas.

"okay, my bad then." she grumbles with a smile, giving you a quick peck on the lips.

the whole scene was pretty domestic. waking up on christmas together, getting her loads with gifts? adorable, right?

you sat back up with her, getting out of bed, urging her to do the same. she followed suit, the cold hitting both of you.

you both made your way downstairs, the warmth of the fireplace growing as you stepped closer to the living room.

getting gifts for nat wasn't that hard, not when all she talked about was rare cds and merch from artists that she couldn't afford to get herself.

"holy sh— moly..." she stuttered, whipping her head behind at your grandparents watching you two open gifts and the game simultaneously.

she looked back at the signed cd copy of 'bleach' from nirvana. "how did you get this?" she asked with wide, grateful eyes. "I dunno ask santa." you shrug with a proud grin.

she rolled her eyes, setting the cd next to her like it was made of glass. "well, thank you, santa." she played along.

you and nat glanced at the tree, and the torn wrapping paper and gift bags around you. "I think that's it?" you guessed with a shrug. your girlfriend copied you before gasping, scrambling to her feet. "wha—"

"just wait a sec!" she yelped, running back up the stairs.

"she's odd." your grandpa mumbled once she was out of ear shot. your eyebrows furrowed at the criticism. "don't be rude." your grandma scolded, hitting his shoulder lightly.

nat came rushing back, sitting back in her former spot in a huff. holding out a tiny gift bag. "it's just a little thing." she shrugged off before you got the chance to say anything.

the edges of your lips quirked up at the bag now in hand. "thank you, nat." you smiled. you took away the tissue paper, digging your hand in the bag and pulling out some of your favorite candy.

"that's not it." nat pointed before you could react. you continued digging in the bag, finding various trinkets and small toys that reminded nat of you. honestly the bag was pretty stuffed with things.

but the main thing that caught your eye was the cd that had a printed picture of you and nat, posing while you were mostly likely tipsy or high. or both.

nat watched silently as you looked and smiled at the gifts, trying to act calm, yet she looked at you with approval seeking eyes.

"I know it's kinda dumb bu—" she admitted before you cut her off. "no no no! it's great, nat. I love it." you assured with a chuckle, opening up the cd to see a handwritten track list of sings from various artists.

the gift was obviously very heartfelt, and you found your checking warming at the songs she chose.

she sighed and nodded in relief at your approval.

-

you sat on the couch, as nat laid her head on your lap, both of you bundled in blankets infront of the fire as you watched home alone.

"hey nat?" you murmur, breaking the comfortable silence.

nat picked her head up, looking at you. "hm?" she hummed.

"did I give you a good christmas?" you asked softly, your hand continuing to play with her hair.

a smile appeared on her face before nodding. "yes. you gave me a pretty good christmas." she admitted.

"do you still not like christmas?" you questioned more with a slight smile.

she grin grew as she nodded again. "I like it a little more now." she she sighed. you couldnt help hut feel a little proud that you were the reason she liked christmas more.

"I love you." she blurted causally, and you couldn't help but laugh a little at the sudden declaration.

"I love you too, nat." you smiled back, running a hand through her hair. she hmed and grinned before moving to lay back on her lap, content with your response.

you furrowed your eyebrows in amusement before sighing and going back to the movie.

-

okay boom done go away. I didn't even mean to post it rn my app just glitched whatever I'm gonna kms bye

@pinkcatsthatfly wanted to be tagged

[jasminerva]

it's the thought that counts

various SakaDays dudes x gn!Reader SFW, clothing implied but never assumed Yumi (seikoo_11) sent me a very sweet message and idea! Gaku and Nagumo were all her, but I wanted to add all the other dudes on my mind because they all deserve love~! Banner img from some SAO game art thing. 🎄🎁 Happy SakaHoliDays to all~! ✨🎉

The holidays were a time for surprises, and you had cooked up the ultimate one for your SakaDays dude.

Decked out in ribbons, you struck a playful / seductive pose and announced, "Merry Christmas! I'm your gift!"

The twist? Hidden somewhere beneath the intricate bows and wrappings was an actual present, tailored just for them. The look on their face was priceless as they realized they'd have to unwrap their "gift" piece by piece to uncover the thotful treasure you'd prepared.

What better way to celebrate than with a little fun and a lot of love?

✨ ݁ ݁⋆.ೃ🎄₊ ⊹🎁🎀 .°.✨

Gaku: A game he'd been interested in playing (how did you even notice? he gave no tells.). He unwraps you with a mix of laziness and faux indifference. He teasingly asks if the gift came with any DLC and when you say "Yes" in that particular tone, things heat up.

Nagumo: A box of Pocky tucked just out of reach ("Hurry up~" you say, "it's gonna melt!"). Every ribbon undone feels like a playful battle, and by the end, the real gift was the fun of "unwrapping" you - plus, the promise of enjoying the real treat later.

Uzuki: An art instruction book. His cheeks flush as he delicately undoes each bow, mumbling how you're more beautiful than any masterpiece he's seen and could ever dream of illustrating. (You end up redder than he is.)

Shin: A manga volume he's missing. He hesitates, blushing furiously as he fumbles with the ribbons, only to stammer out a heartfelt thank-you after. You can't wait to spoil him some more later, so you decide against spoiling the extra surprises (let's just say it involves checking more things off his list - Shin knows cuz he can read your mind and your smug face).

Shishiba: A luxurious silk tie and tie clip to add to his collection (tell me he doesn't have one of those walk-in closets with lux items encased in glass that he rotates through). He takes his time unwrapping, quietly amused by your boldness, before thanking you with a soft smirk and puts the tie around you to see how you look (with just that on - nothing else).

Hyo: Metal/brass polish. He roars with laughter at the practicality and promises to "shine up" just for you. You tell him he's already dazzling and he glows from your compliment (+ the offer to spoon him afterwards).

Heisuke (+ Piisuke): Bird & boy-friendly snacks. His excitement is infectious, as he grins ear to ear, quickly tearing through the ribbons (somehow tangling you up further before Piisuke helps out) and hugs you like you're the best gift ever.

Natsuki: Spare lithium battery packs for his invisibility suit. He unwraps you with methodical precision, smirking as he asks if this counts as "charging up for later".

Mafuyu: A UV light wand. He's irked at first, carefully untying the ribbons, but the corners of his eyes crinkle and mask shifts slightly when he sees the thoughtful gift. Why's he using it on you--?!

Amane: A personalized activity booklet. His quiet curiosity grows as he unwraps you, and his soft smile is worth every ribbon as he eagerly flips through the pages, memorizing them all instantly. He wants to start ASAP but you remind him that things are closed for the holidays and he blushes ("no no it's okay" god he's adorable).

Kashima: A handwritten IOU on reindeer stationary for a karaoke session. He chortles when he reads it, pulling you close and saying, "I expect a duet." (This would be the perfect time to put the light up Rudolph nose on him.)

Kaji: Hi-fi earplugs and a new, festive trapper hat. He laughs softly, mumbling too quietly about how much he appreciates you and the gift. He doesn't think he could pull it off but you convince him that he'll be the talk of the town and deserves to feel special.

Apart: Instead of wrapping yourself, you take the ribbons and gently wind them around the two of you, pulling him close with a smile. "This way," you say softly, "we won't be apart this Christmas." He melts, flushes, and tightens the ribbons around your shared embrace to nuzzle against you and hide his face (can't even see anything under his messy bangs anyway).

Haruma: He holds onto one end of the ribbon and tells you to spin and unravel yourself. Not in a dominant way (kinda), but in a personal trainer way (sobbing the winter holidays is when we're allowed to potato!). No gift on you, except a signed affidavit witnessed by Uzuki (& Kashima in case it wasn't the right Uzuki) saying that you worked out earlier and deserve something sweet. (Protein-baked goodies aren't half bad tbh, but Haruma would treat you to whatever you love, even the bad macro stuff - you'll burn it off later anywho ;)

Sakamoto (platonic): You've ribbon-wrapped Sakamoto for Aoi, tying a big bow around his belly, slapping it for good measure, with a cheeky grin. "Merry Christmas to the family man!" you declare, shooing him away. You'll watch over the store during the holidays so he can spend time with Aoi and Hana-chan.

Merry Christmas & Eve~! Depending on where you're located~ Artists of all mediums give so much to you and me~ be sure to wish your beloved creators a Happy Holidays~! Want more? Check out my SakaDays Masterlist! 🍑 Comments, reblogs, tags appeachiated~! 🍑

✨ ݁ ݁⋆.ೃ🎄₊ ⊹🎁🎀 .°.✨

Extras under the mistletoe 🌿🍒:

Yumi's cutieful art of Nagumo in ribbons *fans self* that I requested. Do you think he'd let you wrap him up too? Oh def yes. THANK YUMI FOR SPARKING THIS POST & GIVE HER ALL THE LOVE + FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER PLEASE AND THANK YOU~!

Kaji's new hat. Call him cute and ask him for a ride~! ;3

I knew I could count on Korean TWT for red-nosed Kashima art. If you see more, please do share~! [sakori00, No_Eul_0]

Also, LOOK AT HIM! PINKY ALL THE WAY UP KASHIMA!!! He prolly sings enka / operatic style. He's as refined as Shishiba but totes it loudly and proudly. (Thank you again, Yumi, for finding the extra!!!)

Tie clip + fancy tie was brought up by Lao (@herringstrait) in passing conversation. They even found this beauty!

¥13,200 for Mr. Fancypants. I bet it's functional too. Shishiba already has a hammerhead shark pin I'm sure he'd appreciate this!

[httpsdana]

Hi! If you write for Kenan Yildiz, can you do prompt 2 and 6 from the Playful/Teasing? If you don't write for Kenan, then can it be with Pau Cubarsi? Thank you!

Toothless Grins~Pau Cubarsi

・❥・prompt list

・❥・masterlist -> part 2

・❥・who I write for

・❥・a/n: i decided to write it for Pau cause I've written way to much for Kenan. also I got a bit carried away... but this is definitely one of my fav fics I've written

2. “I swear, I tripped and fell into your arms. Pure accident.”

6. “I’m not saying you’re cute… but you’re kind of cute.”

"we're home right now. can you please hurry? he's not shutting up about you" Irene said, her voice muffled as she said something in the background.

"I'm on my way to your house, I'll be there in 20 minutes. how is he?" y/n said, putting her phone on speaker as she started her car.

"he's fine I think. his cheek is a bit swollen but other than that he's good. He's talking a lot though" Irene said, making her chuckle.

"that's how he is. stay safe and call me if you need anything on the way" y/n said before hanging up.

Pau had just gotten his wisdom teeth removed, and well he was acting like a drunk guy because of all the medication used to block away his pain.

As she arrived to his parent's house, she knocked on the door, waiting for someone to open it. A loud crash from inside was heard, before the door opened, revealing a very messy-haired Irene, catching her breath.

"thank god you're here. i can't handle him anymore" she said, making y/n chuckle before stepping in.

They walked to the living room where Pau was sat on the couch, the remote in his hand as he went through the channels.

His hair was a mess, but a cute mess. And his cheek was still as swollen as Irene said it was, but he still looked as adorable as he usually did, even with cotton stuffed in his mouth.

"hey Pau. look who's here" Irene said as y/n sat down next to him. He looked up at her, his eyes brightening up at the sight of her.

He didn't say a thing though, just kept inspecting her, studying every feature of her.

"okay...I'm gonna leave now. mom and dad will be home soon" Irene said, giving her brother a weird look before leaving.

"drive safe!" y/n said, before hearing the door slam close.

She turned then to her boyfriend, who's face was now so much closer to hers.

"Pau, how are you feeling amor?" she asked, laughing slightly at the way he was looking at her.

“I’m not saying you’re cute… but you’re kind of cute.” he mumbled, his eyes trailing down from her eyes to her lips.

Her cheeks burned at his words, but she just shook her head, smiling to herself at his drunken-like state.

"well thank you, you're pretty cute too" she said, raising her hand to brush the hair from his forehead.

"will you marry me?" he blurted out, his eyes still fixated on her lips

She was taken back from his words, but smiled softly at his eyes that were full of affection.

"no Pau, not yet" she stiffled a laugh at the way his face dropped, and tears rushed into eyes.

"you don't think I'm pretty?" he whispered, his voice showing sadness and disappointment.

"i think you're a very handsome boy" she said, one of her hands resting on his chest while the other still brushed through his hair. "but we're still pretty young to get married don't you think?" she said, looking into his gorgeous green eyes.

He looked at her with that love struck look, his eyes going back to her lips.

"you look like y/n" he murmured, his eyes looking up into her eyes.

She chuckled, leaning back against the couch while still looking at him.

"you think so? who's y/n?" she asked, deciding to see what he'll reply.

At the mention of her name, his face lit up, his cute smile appearing once again as he dropped back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling.

"y/n is the love of my life. I love her so much. do you know that I have a picture of her in my wallet? but I don't tell her because she would make fun of me saying I'm so obsessed with her. Also do you know that I have a special album for her in my photos? I have so many pictures of her she doesn't even know about. once I filmed her while sleeping because she looked so cute in my shirt and with her hair messy" he rambled, his hands flying in the air as he did some exaggerated movements.

y/n smiled at his words, her heart melting at his sweet words. Pau wasn't one to speak about his feelings very often, he's more of a physical touch and quality time type of guy, and hearing him say those things about her made her realize how much she means to him.

"you really love her?" she asked, wanting to hear more about his feelings.

"yes!" he exclaimed, before continuing his rant. "she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She makes me feel so... i don't know, she makes wanna kick my feet in the air when she calls me cute. I can't believe she's my girlfriend"

y/n pouted at his words, her heart skipping a beat at his honestly.

She leaned closer to him, her body shifting closer to his. He looked down at her, his face lighting up once again.

"amor? you're here?" he said, his smile wide as ever.

"yes baby I'm here" she said, chuckling as she leaned over to kiss his swollen cheek softly. He winced a bit, making her pull away quickly.

"you okay?" she asked, her hand resting gently on his shoulder.

"yes...I think I need to go to the bathroom" he said, immediately getting up and rushing to the hallway.

y/n waited for him to come back, not wanting to invade his privacy. With in two minutes, he was back in the room. His body swaying slightly as he walked closer to her, and suddenly he dropped into her arms, his hands quickly wrapping around her waist.

“I swear, I tripped and fell into your arms. Pure accident.” he giggled, the sound making y/n smile even wider.

She looked down at him, her lips pressing a feather like kiss on his forehead.

"I'm sure it was an accident" she teased, watching how his ears turned red.

"mhm it totally was" he murmured into her neck, before pressing a few kisses there.

They sat in silence for a while, Pau resting comfortably in her arms as she scratches his scalp gently

"can you give me a kiss?" he looked up at her, his big doe green eyes waiting for a response.

"are you sure? you totally winced when I kissed your cheek earlier" she said, a hint of joking in her voice. Pau frowned as he looked at her, sitting up straight.

"I didn't?" he said, confused.

She realized that Pau was kind of getting back to his consciousness, so she cupped his face in her hands, very gently careful not to hurt him.

"do you remember what you told me?" she asked, glancing down at his pouty lips.

"no? you just arrived I still didn't tell you anything?" his confused tone making her giggle slightly.

"yes baby. how are you feeling? does it hurt?" she asked, genuinely worried about him as she glanced at his slightly purple cheek.

"I'm fine. I've been through worse. but I think a kiss can make me better" he said teasingly, his eyes trailing down to her lips once again.

y/n rolled her eyes before leaning closer to press a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth. He whined when she pulled away, his hands reaching down to her hips, pulling her closer.

"that's not a kiss mi amor, you know I hate when you give me those" his whiny voice making her chuckle

"the doctor told me not to give you kisses. apparently you were too stubborn during the surgery" she said, making Pau gasp dramatically.

"he's lying! I promise I was so calm and quiet. i didn't even move" he said, his voice almost desperate.

"are you sure?" she teased, brushing her nose against his. He nodded eagerly, his eyes never leaving hers.

"I promise"

"fine, maybe I can give you a kiss or two" she said. Pau grinned widely, waiting for her to finally kiss him. She leaned closer, pecking his lips a few times, which made him frown again

"amor" he whined

"Pau I can't give you more than that. Your mouth is all bloody and stuff" she cringed slightly, making him sigh but nod.

He dropped his head on her lap, his eyes closing briefly before he looked up at her.

"there's something you're not telling me isn't there?" he said, watching how wide her smile was.

"oh it's nothing. but why didn't you tell me you had a picture of me in your wallet?" she teased, making his eyes go wide as he covered his face with his hands.

"how did you know?" he asked, peaking through his fingers to look at her.

"you told me. when you were all drugged and stuff. and apparently I have some secret pictures in your phone? i need to see those too" she teased him further, making him groan

"shut up. or else I'll delete them" he warned, both of them knowing he wouldn't even think about doing that.

"oh sure you will" she said, making him chuckle before he revealed his face.

She smiled down at him, leaning down to press a few kisses across his face.

"I love you" she murmured, pressing one final kiss on the tip of his nose.

"te amo más amor" he mumbled, his eye lids heaving as the tiredness wore off. (i love you more love)

my taglist: @barcapix @paucubarsisimp @spidybaby @mxryxmfooty @n0vazsq @joaosnovia (lmk if you want to be added!!)

[lilliths-not-just-httyd-blog]

i got dat dawg in me (adhd paralysis)

[notherpuppet]

Someone asked if I was adding more to "Buckshot"

...and then I accidentally posted it before I was done answering LOL. Anyway, here was the answer:

I have some ideas that I just haven't fleshed out yet. But I really like that AU and I want to return to it.

As for the Buckshot specific "chapter"...I do have some 'deleted scenes' that I just didn't feel like drawing (laziness) but hmm maybe i'll get the motivation to sketch them out eventually.

Some deleted scenes:

Scene 1.5 [Lucifer looks at Alastor's wounds as he's changing his bandages and clothes. Alastor's covered in severe scars exhibiting many different kinds of injuries.] Lucifer: "So many scars...I wonder what he's been through..." [Lucifer glances at Alastor's face, which somehow still has a faint, but visible smile.] Lucifer (incredulous and annoyed): "Yet he always keeps that smile on his face..." CUT TO FLASHBACK MONTAGE: Lucifer, Alastor, and Charlie playing in the park, eating dinner altogether, and singing backup for Charlie while Alastor plays the piano. [Lucifer smiles softly and turns up the corners of Alastor's sleeping smile.] Charlie: "I thought Al needed to sleep!" >:-0 [Lucifer draws his hands back suddenly, embarrassed.] Lucifer: "Where did you--" [Charlie climbs onto Alastor's rest bed. She haphazardly reaches for Alastor's face.] Charlie: "My turn or it's not fair!" >:-D Lucifer: "Charlie, no!" --- Scene 4.5 (happens at the dinner party, in Lucifer's room, after Alastor bleeds through his shirt) [Lucifer quickly changed into a red tuxedo. Alastor is lagging, due to his pain and need to clean his wound with a soft cloth.] Lucifer: "Let me help you--" Alastor: "I can handle this." Lucifer: "Would you stop being so stubborn? You're drugged up, drunk, and moving slow as hell. You want to arouse more suspicion or do you wanna get this over with?" [Alastor rolls his eyes and rudely tosses the cloth at Lucifer's face. Lucifer's quick reflexes catch the cloth effortlessly.] Lucifer: "That's what I thought." [Lucifer begins to clean Al's wound. Alastor has a pained expression. He winces and grabs Lucifer's wrist forcefully.] Alastor: "You're being a brute." [Alastor guides Lucifer's hand gently and drops his hand once Lucifer adapts. Lucifer helps bandage Alastor back up and get dressed. They're now both in new tuxedos, sans bow ties. Before Lucifer can grab his bowtie, Alastor snatches it.] Alastor: "Allow me." Lucifer: "I can tie my own bow tie." Alastor: "Did you not say we were in a hurry? I think we both know it will go faster if I just tie it." [Lucifer rolls his eyes but resigns. Alastor ties the bowtie swiftly and perfectly.] Lucifer: "Ugh, how do you do this so easily? Aren't you high?" Alastor: "As a kite." [There is a beat and they both share a laugh. Suddenly they hear a distant voice yelling:] Adam (distant): "So much for a quickie!" Alastor: "We should go."

[beetlethebug]

i've written an Emmrich x Rook daddy kink fic but the real question is when i'm going to get around to writing a Lucanis x Rook mommy kink fic with Lucanis as the mommy ;)

[sulky-cabbage]

The sukugo fight can't get animated any sooner I'm craving sukugo tiktok edits

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.4 because I'm addicted to making these (the link I used)

*Sam is reading a Clifford The Big Red Dog book* Luke, watching: How did he get to be so big? Do they ever explain that? Sam: Well, Emily’s love for him grew, and so did he. Luke: Well, your dog is pretty small. Guess that says something about you, huh? Sam, angrily shutting his book: YOU’RE SMALL! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS?!?! AJ: Hey, Tom? Tom: Yeah? AJ: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on? Tom: Tom: Where’s Luke?

Sam: You know what the problem is? Your really cute, so no one ever told you to shut your pie-hole. Luke: You think I’m cute? Sam: SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE! AJ: I am an expert at identifying birds. Tom: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? AJ: Yeah, they're all birds. Luke: What are you guys playing? AJ: Go Fish. Luke: That’s a nice, safe game. Luke: But don’t you need cards? AJ: Where do you keep the spear gun? Sam: I regret nothing!!! Tom: I regret everything!!! Luke: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse! That’s what I always say! AJ: You should say something else. Sam: I failed my safety training course today. Tom: Why, what happened? Sam: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?" Tom: And? Sam: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer. Luke: But what about AJ? Sam: Don't worry about him. Sam: I once watched him fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened. Luke: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Tom periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’ Luke: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going. Tom: That sounds like a terrible plan. Sam: Oh, we've had worse. AJ: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism. Luke: And you came to me? AJ: So, I've been thinking Tom- Tom: That's dangerous. Sam: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT! Luke: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone. Sam: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch? Luke: Somehow that's worse. *AJ is crying after a breakup* Luke: There there, AJ. AJ, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room? Luke: Great question— Tom: My aesthetic is "would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens." Tom: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? Tom: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me. Tom: *looks at AJ* Tom: Baby boy. Baby. Tom: *looks at Sam* Tom: Evil. (Luke is somehow both at the same time) Sam: I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits. AJ: What's the most illegal thing you can do with one dollar? Sam: Exchange it for a hundred pennies, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it. AJ: One time I went to hand Sam a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!”, so instead I blurted out “Careful it’s soup.” Tom: I am in charge of this disaster! AJ: I have a name, you know. Tom: Luke, Sam, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Sam, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Luke is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Luke: I love you too :) Tom: Do you know a turtles only weakness? AJ: No...well, their slowness. Tom: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs. Tom: Now I have a plan. Tom: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable. Sam, talking about Luke: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HIM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID. HE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO. AJ: What are you writing? Sam: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information. Tom, looking over Sam's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy. AJ: I was voted “friendliest classmate” in high school. Sam: I was voted “most likely to become a clown”... Luke: You think that’s bad? HA! I was voted “most likely to get rabies”! AJ: Sam won’t come out of their room! Tom: Just tell them I said something. AJ: Like what? Tom: Anything factually incorrect. AJ, shrugging: If you say so. Sam, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

[pa-pa-plasma]

one of the things that will always destroy me is people believing that good story = darker/more mature/more sexual. this belief has ruined so many stories that could have been amazing & has prevented almost everyone from enjoying other really good stories simply because the age range it's aimed at is one they believe can't have complex themes, characters, plot, etc etc. they don't believe they can be moved by something a publisher or studio decided is for kids & so write it off without even thinking about it. biggest curse of being a writer who actually loves stories & telling them is that literally no one else cares in the most pessimistic, higher-than-thou, capitalism brainrot way you can imagine. & it's all automatic. because that's just what you're taught.

[pardonmydelays]

i also think it's kinda cool how tyler makes me want to learn stuff

[gigantomachylesbian]

Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

[heartshattering]

5 AM

Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃

[keeps-ache]

gonna keep it shmoovin man

[tardis--dreams]

I actually realized i hate work. Won't be putting any effort into this anymore ♡

[skrunksthatwunk]

really fun letting all of my favorite shows take turns being the "i can't think about it i can't think about it i can't think about it!!" bingewatch during finals season/associated crunch times. they're being inducted into a society