#i can't remember which set of tags I have used for this topic for tag blocking purposes

[anonymusbosch]

making my stupid little call to my stupid little senator to ask them to stop sending billions of dollars worth of bombs to Israel like that will do anything,

[neverendingford]

.

[heart-sized]

𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝟏𝟎𝟏 — g. satoru iv. sweet y/n chan

★⺌◞. gojo satoru x f! fushiguro reader

plot. you ask your younger brother's teacher to teach you dating 101

cw. fluff. older!gojo, gojo is a playboy, reader is twenty two, reader is introverted, nsfw, fluff and angst, not proofread

a/n. for a gojo satoru x oc version, stream here + this is more of a filler chapter so im sorry ! + tagging @cole-silas

masterlist // satoru masterlist

go back to beginning

“y/n, i am home!”

your brother's voice rang in the apartment and you smiled at him, straightening the hem of your apron from the kitchen. “i am in the kitchen, gumi.”

you watched him come into the kitchen, his face stoic like always that he inherited from his father, fushiguro toji. but his eyes softened as he saw you. “how was your day?”

“boring,” you clicked your tongue, “what about you?”

“mine too," he took a piece of the cookies that you had baked, “gojo sensei was asking about you.”

your eyes widened. did your brother come to know of the dating course or something? oh god. “what was he saying?” you tried your best to sound nonchalant.

“just how old you were,” he bit on the cookie, “i told him that he shouldn't even think of you.”

“gumi, you can't talk to your teacher like that!”

“you are too innocent,” he rolled his eyes, “he might be my teacher but he's not serious about women. he's better off away from you.”

as if you didn't know that. and yet.

“come, help me set the dinner now, will you?” you asked, changing the topic and sighed in relief when you saw him nod.

“oh, y/n?” megumi spoke out of nowhere when they were eating their dinner in silence. “can yuji and nobara stay here for a sleepover tonight? i forgot to tell you.”

you smiled. it was those rare moments that you felt like you did have a younger brother. megumi was too serious to act like a teenager most of the time. which you didn't like. he was a teen and he should be allowed to have fun.

“of course. have fun. i will be in my room if you need me.”

gojo satoru smiled at his date sitting next to him. she was a blonde woman, tall and curvy. nothing like that specific girl in his mind. she had a smile on her lips as she stroked his hand.

“so, y/n chan, i—”

“aika,” the woman rolled her eyes, pulling her back, “my name is aika and not y/n. you have called me by that name two times now!”

he bit his inner cheek. what was he doing? he was supposed to flirt with his date and then end up in the bed with her. a healthy cycle. and thinking about y/n chan was definitely not healthy.

y/n chan. his student's older stepsister. the sweet innocent angel. imagine his surprise when you asked him to teach you how to date. you wanted to learn dating with him and then go and experience that with some other ‘serious, responsible family man’.

but wasn't it for the good? you deserved a kind and sweet man. and a jujutsu sorcerer like gojo satoru could never be that. he couldn't allow himself to get attached to a civilian.

“i need to go home, aika,” he pulled out an easy going grin, much to her flabbergast, “next time.”

as he slowly walked towards his apartment, he remembered how protective megumi had looked when he had asked about his sister. satoru sighed. as if he was some beast who would kidnap sweet you.

maybe he should text you good night. you said they were friends. and friends do that, right?

gojo satoru : good night, sweet y/n chan.

wait. wait. no. sweet sounded weird. he should delete it. but before he could delete it, he saw that you had already seen it.

y/n chan 🤍 : good night, gojo san.

he smiled. he could certainly get used to it.

ᝬ ˙.໑ ╱ © seducity 2023 — all rights reserved. property of suzu

[shizucheese]

Hey guys! It me, "The Magnus Institute is a part of not just the Eye but the Web" girl, here with some thoughts and a new theory for the consideration of the Red String Comity. Come step into a curated (for your safety and sanity) corner of my mind as I walk you through my thought process: First, some further evidence that the Web was tied to the Magnus Institute in TMA all along: in MAG193, it's mentioned that Elias doesn't remember ever sending his CV to the Magnus Institute. Web. In Mag056, when Martin confesses he lied on his CV, he mentions that "for some reason" his lie about parapsychology got him an interview with Elias. Now, I always assumed that this was because Elias/ Jonah knew his secret and the Eye likes secrets, but like...How did Martin know to apply there in the first place? Why was that the only place where he got an interview?

Now I'd like to bring your attention to the below sticker. I have this same sticker on my laptop because as someone on the Ace spectrum John and Martin's relationship is everything to me. For anyone who needs a refresher, the quote is something John says to Martin in S5. Obviously the teacup represents Martin. But let's talk about that thing coming out of the teacup, hm? The thing that's supposed to represent John? I've always tried to rationalize it as "lol it's just some kind if Eye creature, that's not a spider..." but guys....that's totally a spider, right?

Now here's why this is so huge: this isn't fanart someone turned into a sticker. This is a sticker from Rusty Quill's very own RedBubble shop.

It's official merch. Official merch "designed and sold by RustyQuill" represents John as a spider creature covered in eyes.

They've been telling us this the entire time guys! Now, I need to give @amanda-519 credit for setting my mind down this next path. These are the tags they used when they reblogged my previous post on this topic:

Now, this got me thinking about all of the Avatars we met in TMA and like....

We know from Mag 102 that the Corruption can manifest as unhealthy relationships, which I would argue would include infatuation and obsession.

And like....was Jude's infatuation with Agnes really all that different? It's what drew her into The Desolation in the first place, so could we not argue that she was a mix of the Desolation and the Corruption? (Like....the destructiveness of infatuation? Corruption leading to Desolation?) And like I've always assumed the reason why Oliver became an Avatar of the End is because of his association with Graham and what happened to him resulting in Oliver being touched by The End, but like...does that actually make sense? They were already broken up and he had 0 involvement with Graham being taken by the Not Them. But like Graham's circumstances are also kinda weblike, no? The Web includes the fear of being forced to do something against one's own will, and Graham went through some pretty extreme measures to try and escape his powers. And then his efforts to escape ultimately lead to the events that turned him into a full fledged Avatar. Was Graham also a part of the web? Or were the circumstances of him becoming an Avatar of the End basically the result of him being the Web's victim?

And the whole concept of the Unknowing is pretty weird, huh? Like...I can't be the only one that looks at what happens to people who get trapped in the Unknowing and thinks that it feels awfully "Spiral-like" right? (or, for that matter, that The Desolation has some elements of the Stranger to it).

John Amherst was an Avatar of The Corruption, but unlike Jane, whose main interest seemed to be spreading and expanding the Flesh Hive, Amherst's form of Corruption seemed awfully End-flavored. When we first meet him in TMA, it's at a Nursing home where his spread of infection results in the death of all of the residents. In Mag68, Tale of a Field Hospital, the accounts about Amherst are all about him dying and then showing up again; in the second story, the people who end up in the bed Amherst is supposed to be in keep dying; the statement giver who gave the book to the Institute dies a few days later after, having cut himself on the pages of the book. The illness he spreads in the town where he ultimately dies kills the victims horrifically. The bug he is most affiliated with are flies, which are known to flock to dead bodies and are therefore associated with death. Okay now after all of that word vomit, here's the epiphany that I had and the actual point of this post:

For some reason my mind kept straying back to Jude and her infatuation with Agnes and how that might have made her part of the Corruption, and the different ways the Corruption might have been involved in other ways, and then I remembered that theory going around that in TMP the Fears are becoming Obsessions. This theory never sat well with me because in TMA, all of the Avatars were obsessed with something. Most of them were obsessed with their Entity and bringing it into the world. Jude, as previously mentioned, was obsessed with Agnes. Simon was obsessed with the sky. Mike was obsessed with freeing himself of the Spiral manifestation that'd been tormenting him since childhood. Oliver was obsessed with running away from his powers and John was obsessed with finding out what the fuck was going on. There were also plenty of non-avatar characters that were obsessed; The guy in Mag90: Body Builder was obsessed with his body and making it look how he wanted to. The guy from Mag102 Nesting Instinct and his petite scarabée. I could go on.

And then it clicked: Obsession is a form of Corruption. We know that the Corruption can manifest as unhealthy love and companionship. But what is "unhealthy love" if not a form of obsession? Obsession sinks its teeth into you and takes over your life and can lead you to your own destruction. In other words, its corrupts you. Which is exactly what happens in pretty much all of the statements we've gotten so far in TMP. The Corruption is up to something. Idk what or why, but I think that in the same way the Web's influence was all over TMA if you know to look for it, the Corruption is all over TMP. Is it just a season 1 thing? Is it going to be the Big Player in the whole series? Are the Avatars (?) we've encountered so far--Ink5oul, The Merchant, Movie Theater Man-- part of the Corruption as well as the more obvious Entities they serve-- The Flesh, The End/ The Slaughter, The Eye--or are they only servants of those respective Entities and the Corruption is swooping in later and poisoning things?

[librarycards]

hey there cav. this is sort of a fraught question but. how do I engage with psychiatry when I'm antipsych? I need treatment but I have so much distrust and I feel like it's all bullshit. I don't really have a support system and there's few peer support resources in my area. I can't do this myself but I cant trust this system. soooo... tips for finding therapists that don't suck & getting the most of it? really appreciate your blog and posts, thanks

thank you for entrusting this message to me, I appreciate it! I have answered questions like this a few times before (they're buried somewhere, if you can't find them in my "ask" tag, lmk and i'll try to dig them up!). it's definitely fraught inasmuch as we're never (as people who hate psych but need specific, urgent support that communities aren't by default set up to provide) going to get an answer that we 100% want, but also very not-fraught inasmuch as most of us agree that surviving in this sea of partiality is something we can do together, with love and nonjudgement.

so, for context: i was in therapy - first behaviorist OT as a toddler and elementary school child, and, beginning at 7, talk therapy - nonconsensually basically from the time I could remember until adulthood. i likely would never have tried it again, except for the small hiccup of needing letters for Transing Genders. so, this was when i first sought out "trans affirming care," as it were, and i didn't expect much. i went to my college's health center and got a list of possible providers, and ended up getting an excellent PCP, as well as a therapist who was a genuine cis accomplice: she wrote letters for Mad/psych disabled clients whose genders wouldn't typically qualify us for surgery/hormones in the eyes of the M/PsyIC. i did not share with her the things i "ought" to have shared, but she knew I had survived abusive therapy / forced institutionalization, and accepted that, and accepted my cynicism along with it. i was also first genuinely understanding foucault at this time, so rest assured i was quite a little shit (affectionate).

when she left to practice elsewhere, i went to a therapist at the same practice she recommended. she was fine, but not what i needed. by this time, I'd gotten the requisite procedures, so my therapy attendance wasn't required. i basically just ghosted this new therapist around the time covid hit.

when i came to grad school, i initially wasn't looking for therapy, though i had idly considered something for OCD, which I was (and am) managing in part through medication. after getting outright rejected for, essentially, being too crazy for normie OCD therapy, i directed my search specifically for Mad/abolitionist providers. i began by going through some of the archives of places like the National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network, and some people who have posted guest articles on Mad in America / The Fireweed Collective -- many are providers seeking to disrupt/abolish the system. That provided some leads, though no openings (there are very few of them, and they are, understandably, in high demand).

I then turned to my community connections: over the years, I've amassed a large number of Mad colleagues in various fields. Many are a half-step from radical/antipsych circles, so I asked them. This time, I asked specifically about a possible therapist who was interested in critiques of "eating disorders" as a category, who had an abolitionist, harm-reductionist, and anti-"health" approach to care, and who, accordingly, refused to cooperate with institutions of psychiatric confinement. I was directed to a list of people, of whom my current and beloved therapist / colleague / comrade was the first to respond.

my trajectory with her has been a steady building of trust through a shared ebbing and flowing of closeness, frustration, enlightenment, and curiosity. it has been close to a year and a half now, and we only began speaking frankly about more "dangerous"/"risky" topics a few months ago. early in our relationship, i did a great deal of boundary-testing, and reacted with anger and shutdown the first time she asked a question that proved risky/activating for me. my biggest recommendation when engaging with ANY provider is to ask them explicitly, repeatedly, and critically about their relationships with your own risk/harm level, their ongoing history wrt patient institutionalization / "referrals" to "higher levels of care". take note about the way they reference past patient situations, as well as their own past experience. take note of how they respond when you choose not to provide the information they seek.

also take note of what info they're willing to provide upfront, including at a consult: what methodologies do they work with, what was their training, how do they feel about said training? what are their politics? ask whoever recommended them to you, too. look at reviews. this is obvious -- what might not be is looking up their work on google scholar. who do they cite? what do they advocate, who do they associate themself with?

i think that it's also a good idea to ask them explicitly about their experience in other/"higher" levels of care - most therapists have done some kind of rotation during their education, often in a hospital, group home, halfway house, similar. if you have ever been institutionalized, you may have even spotted / been abused by some! observe how they discuss these experiences. take note.

if and when you've established this person as someone you want to continue working with, trust notwithstanding, think personally about what you are actually looking for. they will ask you about your goals, surely, but it's a good idea first to think about your own personal goals outside of the verbalized relationship between you two. do you need a confidante, and of what kind? what sort of accountability do you need, and what are you willing to try to figure that out? *what are you paying this person for that you feel others cannot or will not do*? what part of this person's expertise can be of use to you, and for how long?

i think one interesting approach to therapy is to regard the provider as a teacher - they're there to share knowledge with you, and you're free to accept or reject it. they have some kind of training/experience you don't have, and you seek them out because you think it may be of use in your own life, and perhaps even to redistribute that knowledge if and when you gain it. at the same time, you also have knowledge to share with them - not to be extracted, but to be incorporated in their own work and practice. the biggest insight on the practice of good therapy i've gleaned is that, ideally, you're both teaching and learning forever. this is true of all good relationships. there is an exchange of knowledge based on shared trust - values - priorities. once you are in a space where you know that this person shares your general relational orientation (aka, doesn't want to institutionalize, etc. you and people like you) it's possible to begin sharing knowledge in a way that benefits from this imposed structure. the benefit, imo, is that it's okay that you "monopolize" the convo and direct the knowledge-production toward your needs, because that's the service you're paying for!

i guess, to close, i'll return to the classic Mad Pride framing of us as "psych users/consumers." this isn't the perfect term, but i think it's enlightening, as we can and should be able to seek out services that work for us. just like i go to a person who knows wtf they're doing when, say, i need my nails done or my car fixed, so too do i go to an expert interlocutor when i am interested in developing my self-/relational knowledge and/or am seeking support in times of emotional tumult. this doesn't confer them a status as superior to me, just like someone isn't superior to someone else by being a nail tech or mechanic. it simply means that we are entering into a relationship where my needs and their expertise meet. seek a therapist who understands this, and understands themself as someone who can learn from you, too. this approach to therapy, and to care, mean that you can't just throw someone away or lock them up when they say things you don't like. it means that, even in those moments, there is something to be learned, and that the relationship will grow in that process of edification.

[daisyishedwig]

Writing meme about me!

@lusthurts tagged me over two weeks ago but I have been so busy with work I haven't had a chance to answer it.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Unofficially I just liked messing around with the characters in the media I consumed, I've always had a habit of pausing in my watching or reading to daydream and theorize about what could happen, or maybe just what my brain wished would happen and so at a very young age I started writing those ideas down.

At some point when I was twelve or so I discovered FF.Net through the Supernatural fandom, I don't remember exactly how. But that was when I went from writing Stargate and Inuyasha fanfiction purely for myself and started writing and publishing Supernatural fanfiction. I really love the weekly 100 word drabble challenges that fandom had back in the day and most of my oldest surviving fic are for those prompts as most of my other stuff I've deleted over the years.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

So Glee is obviously my most prolific, and then Supernatural would be just behind that. In the past I've also written for Stargate, Inuyasha, Naruto, Buffy, Harry Potter, The Vampire Diaries, Doctor Who, and Takin' Over the Asylum, but most of those have been deleted and lost over the years. I do have unpublished WIPs for Stranger Things, OMGcheckplease, The Real O'Neals, Captive Prince, Magnus Archives, Hatchetfield, and probably more, no idea if any of those will actually see the light of day though.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I've been publishing it for about fifteen years but writing it for probably twenty which is an insane number to type out. Like I know I've been writing for pretty much my whole life but seeing it in words puts it in a new perspective. But yeah, my earliest posted work is from 2009.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

It depends on the era? Currently I've been writing more fic than reading, purely because I've been focused on reading so many regular books at the moment (my roommate and I are in a race to read the most books this year, and I'm currently winning, but the rules are that I can't count anything that isn't already on StoryGraph and most of the fics I read are not).

5. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

I think my ability to write banter has improved a lot. I've been writing for so long that everything has improved, but the most noticeable to me is my dialogue, especially when it's witty. I used to struggle so hard with that even though I loved good banter in stories. It's part of why I used to not write Kurtbastian, because banter is so integral to their relationship, but I've been getting more and more comfortable with it .

6. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I'm going to ditto Lusthurts Ohio geography, which is especially frustrating considering how much Glee itself ignores Ohio geography so there's this line of making it not sound completely stupid while also remaining true to Glee's own absolute disregard for it. Also songs and movies that came out in 2012 specifically since I write a lot of stuff set in season 4 of Glee and I try to keep the media I reference contemporary.

7. What's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

I love all comments! But if I had to chose my favorites it's probably anytime that I drop subtle hints or foreshadow something and people pick it up and point it out, either on the original read through or during a reread. I also love when people point out symbolism I didn't intend or realize I was making.

8. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Idk I kinda write a lot of infidelity and toxic relationship stuff. Seblaine is the main ship I write for nowadays, and the nature of their relationship lends itself to a lot of infidelity in their process of getting together. I also just love writing angst, so even when I'm writing established relationships, they end up being sort of toxic throughout especially given the traits of both characters. I just find it more fun and probable to write a slightly toxic relationship than a 100% healthy one.

(I did not intend to just leave Lusthurts answer for this one, but also, ditto. I love the messy toxic relationships, they've always intrigued me and they're so fun to sink your teeth into. I also love writing a lot of polyamory, which idk how fringe it is nowadays but I've been trying to breakaway from the throuple mold and branch out into more interesting, complex, and realistic polycules)

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

I tend to stick very much to the emotional side of things, so stories that get too physical or actiony are the ones I struggle with. Since I've been reading more I've been getting better but it's still not great.

10. What is the easiest type?

Hurt no comfort, lol. Like I do enjoy writing the comfort but sometimes my brain gets hung up on it not being realistic, things getting better too quickly, things like that. But it gets less anxious about just having the angst, even with no happy ending.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I tend to write on my couch, I do like going to the library down the road when I really want to focus, but usually I just write in my living room. I usually just write to google drive, I'm interested in alternatives but I've been using google since jr high so I'm just very used to it and it has so many years of documents. And I just write whenever, but usually in the evening after work, but really whenever I have time.

12. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I love ensemble fics and all the distinct personalities of the different characters and I would love to write one that focuses on many characters one day. I'm kind of trying that with my Season 2 AU but that still mostly focuses on Kurt, Blaine, Sebastian, and Sam, which is exactly who most of my fics focus on, so I'm not sure if it will fit full ensemble status by the time I'm done.

13. What made you choose your username?

So Daisy is an old nickname of Darren Criss' (he's talked about it in a few interviews, how he was studying abroad in Italy and when you say his initials in an Italian accent it sounds like Daisy) and when he was in Hedwig and the Angry Inch the username DarrenisHedwig was already taken but I thought DaisyisHedwig would be fun and I've been it ever since.

Oh boy, I'm going to tag @kurtsascot, @calsvoid, @fallevs, @cryscendo

@bitbybitwrites, @annepi-blog, @sperrywink, and @backslashdelta

[allmydokkuns]

if there's anyone Mandarin-speaking bilingual active on here and still has spoons for MDZS, I have a bit of a linguistic question but not enough knowledge to find an answer myself that I'd appreciate some help with!

I know the fanon fix it courtesy name for Meng Yao being accepted into Lanling Jin is "Ziyao," as in the correct generational character "Zi-" to match Zixuan and Zixun, plus his birth name. Is there any reason he can't still have his birth name and a courtesy name specific to his generation? Same thing goes for Mo Xuanyu.

I've been trying to think of good names for them in a scenario where this does in fact happen but all I've found so far is

偿 cháng for MY bc JGS doesn't deserve paternal rights, which only makes sense if you're privy to the poly fixit that lives rent free in my head...

Unfortunately I've come up with nothing for MXY for now, mainly because there's a particular kind of resonance between character birth names, courtesy names and personal titles that's hard to balance correctly for anyone who doesn't have a lot of working knowledge of the original language.

Anyway if there's anyone out there who has some ideas, reblog/comment/tag me on this post because my brain ain't spitting up much rn. Much thanks. I also remember reading something by someone else talking about how Lanling Jin goes by generations when it comes to deciding names for male descendants and that the radicals in Lan Xichen's and Wangj's birth names seem to be aligning by design, but I don't have enough spoons to find characters that contain the "xu" sound while also having some kind of relevant meaning for both MY and MXY. So instead I tried to think of word characters with good connotations that would be used to name sons as if the two of them had been accepted into the family with good intentions, dunno if I succeeded. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯qq

((now the rest of this is just gonna be some thoughtvomit because what even is coherent sentences anymore, abrupt topic change bc my joints are too messed up to make a separate post))

Perhaps I'm misunderstanding traditional family dynamics, but there is no real reason for Lanling Jin to not accept both Meng Yao and Mo Xuanyu into Lanling Jin except for 1) as established, Jin Guangshan is a philandering rapist piece of shit that has absolutely no intentions of taking responsibility for his offspring and sexual proclivities, or 2) they're attempting to save face for the clan and trying to do the thing where if they do not acknowledge the existence of these children then the problem does not exist?

I understand that some people spin it as being Madame Jin's intolerance for these illegitimate sons given her abuse of Meng Yao after Zixuan's and Yanli's deaths in canon timeline, but that doesn't make a lot of sense to me given how little presence she has in the plot and sect since she married into Lanling Jin. Not saying her taking out negative emotions on someone who for all intents and purposes she should be treating kind of like her son is right, because abuse is still abuse, but other than that it seems her only purpose in the plot is to give Zixuan a mother, Yu Ziyuan a sworn sister, Jiang Yanli a mother-in-law, and Jin Guangyao someone else to hate in Lanling. She's not distinct enough to have a canonical name other than her title as Jin Guangshan's wife, and besides which, being the wife she has no real power to make any decisions regarding the family's heirs. Moxiang Tongxiu straight up set up Lanling Jin as the wealthiest sect after Qishan Wen falls and they just so happen to be the only sect with only one (1) child born of the sect leader and his wife? Sus. Legally everything would have been all well and good if JGS was forced somehow into legitimizing both his illegitimate sons (the sons specifically, since having an illegitimate daughter does your family no real good in a Confucian society unless you're going to marry her out for political purposes) and they were raised as they should have been, especially since both MY and MXY seem like intelligent people. Zixuan gets some backers, Madame Jin gets some more kids and JGS gets some concubines, everyone wins! Even the sect's line of succession is more secure if he suddenly gets two sons. In short, there were so many ways JGS could have taken control of this situation as the father and sect leader and spun it to somehow come out smelling more like roses BUT HE ACTIVELY? CHOSE to give absolutely no shits and just let his wife, kids and sect suffer the consequences of this particular paternal dysfunction. And we all know what happened because he gave too many unnecessary fucks where they were not needed :^) or consensual :^)))) fuck that guy honestly tbh.

Now granted that was a whole sidebar, and maybe I'm thinking about this too hard but does nobody else think it's weird that of the Great Sects, only the male characters in Yunmeng Jiang and Gusu Lan have both canonical birth and courtesy names? It's almost like MXTX gave only the male characters most relevant to the story one of each honestly, since the only two exceptions that are coming to mind now are Su She (Minshan) and Xue Yang (Chengmei). Of course there is the argument that Wen Ning also has a courtesy name, but does it really count when no one uses it to refer to him? The naming stuff in this story are all over the place actually -- Jiang Cheng is the only sect leader of his generation that is referred to primarily by his birth name, but bc WWX is an unreliable narrator it's probably because he always called him that and somehow conveniently forgot he no longer had a right to call him that after he voluntarily left Yunmeng Jiang, therefore we as the audience also call him that... The fact that JC and WWX both seem to have courtesy names when they're kind of young for them, but that also goes for Lan Wangji. Neither the Nie brothers or Jin Zixuan have canonical alternate names, so either it wasn't very important to the plot (though it kind of is in Lanling after the Campaign when JGY gets legitimized but not really since it's the wrong generational character), but what's going on with Qinghe Nie's naming choices? This kind of inconsistency is fine if you handwave the whole thing about degrees of intimacy and formality and stuff but it gets funky if you stare at it long enough.

And that's not even scratching the surface of the weirdness surrounding the women in MDZS -- as few and shortlived as they are. Yu Ziyuan is the only wife of a sect leader in the named sects with a canonical name and title that isn't her married sect's clan + Madame, and the only one we see with any kind of sway both martially and in the everyday running of Yunmeng Jiang. Most importantly, she's the only woman in the series to have her own personal title! Also, again, sidebar, but Jiang Yanli choosing to go by Madame Jiang in fic instead of Young Madame Jin is a mood and a whole chef's kiss tbh. I think also in the kind of household I've been imagining her in after her marriage she could also be called "xiao-furen" (young Madame) where Madame Jin could also be properly called "lao-furen" (old Madame) to differentiate them according to subservient members of the household, in-house? That's a whole nother thing tho, in-group (household, sect, clan) versus outgroup (other sects or clans, and in some ways, your maiden clan if you married out).

Anyway. All of you writing Madame Yu as the root of all trouble in the Yunmeng Jiang family are being culturally insensitive and midkey misogynistic -- looping back to the discussion on JGS being a piece of shit father and sect leader, all his sect's family dysfunction is his inability to keep it in his pants and properly manage his paternal responsibility for the fruits thereof because in a Confucian setting, wives must obey husbands, sons must obey fathers, and both mother and son have therefore no power to override JGS's shitty parenting and leadership decisions re: powermongering and lack of legitimate heirs. Madame Yu's dissatisfaction with Jiang Fengmian's neglect of his only legitimate heir for some other person's son, even if that person's son is the current head disciple for the sect, is valid, because neglecting the next sect leader means neglecting the sect's future. Again, not saying her punishing WWX for stuff that he may or may not have done with Zidian was right. Wei Wuxian might be brilliant and talented and all that, but he doesn't have the right temperament to lead as a sect and clan must be led: with prudence, diplomacy and caution. Again, not WWX-bashing, but I think my favorite description of him goes something like "Wei Wuxian has never met a situation he didn't think couldn't be solved through escalation, and you all think Jiang Cheng is the emotional one?" Jiang Fengmian is an interesting contrast to both Jin Guangshan and Qingheng-jun in that he embodies the idea of physically there, but emotionally unavailable father, whereas JGS is maliciously neglectful and Qingheng-jun is practically non-existent. Granted we don't get a clear idea of how JFM is with JC outside of what that dynamic is like with WWX but I don't think very highly of a father who will scold the son that labored for who knows how many days to save his shixiong's life while praising said shixiong for something he didn't even accomplish alone in the same breath. It's the whole pattern of "ignore what Jiang Cheng accomplishes but lavish praise on Wei Wuxian who would have gotten into even bigger trouble if Jiang Cheng wasn't looking out for him too" that gets me with him. They're both children, you be the adult and sect leader they deserve and look past your biases against your wife (allegedly) and from your past (allegedly) to give them the tools they need to succeed together once you've kicked the bucket.

Is Madame Yu perfect? No, but I do think she loves her children and recognizes the responsibilities she has to Yunmeng Jiang, and she knows as a wife, mother, and fighter, that nothing she does or teaches or passes onto the children in her care means as much as the recognition and explicit support of her husband the sect leader. Jiang Fengmian's presence and legacy in the story is very faint. But Madame Yu? I see echoes of her in all three Yunmeng Jiang kids. But then I see her getting turned into the nagging wife stereotype and it makes me angry that the most developed female character in this story so often gets the short end of the stick in fanfic. Obviously I can't control what some of y'all write and there are some cultural/political nuances that exist in the story that a lot of the fan base may not be familiar with, so yeah I can understand why she gets watered down like that, like any other character in the story does and I'm not calling anybody out for it. But if some of y'all took one look at the so-called sect leaders in this story and immediately decided that it was their nagging, abusive hag of a wife that was the problem, I don't think we're reading/watching the same thing. Also, Wen Ruohan doesn't have a wife mentioned at all that I'm aware of and you could 100% argue that he's the root of most of the political BS that happens in the story, so do with that what you will.

Anyway I'm tired and my joints be protesting so I'm gonna call it a night. If you read this far, take a virtual cookie for making it all the way to here, thank you. If you're new to this hellsite and thought this was intriguing/interesting, reblog or comment and help a bitch out with some engagement, these posts take a lot out of me and if you'll remember, I did have some questions before the meta that I'd like to get out to the wider fan base. Likes don't do shit except make the OP feel like they're yelling into a vacuum. Y'all have a good one.

[liberty-barnes]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

thank you so much myri for sending me (a bisexual) a tag game in which you have to make choices🤍 i can feel your maniacal cackling through the screen

but after four hours, many tears, and the loss of all my remaining will to live, here's my list:

i'm a fire and i'll keep your brittle heart warm (G, 6.6k)

this one may have cause me a few breakdowns and panic because it got sad all on its own, but i love it so much. i just love sapphie, i loved writing her, i loved picturing her doing cute things, overall just a really great one.

in a different life (we would've been timeless) (T, 6.2k)

based off of my favourite taylor song, with one of my favourite concepts which is reincarnation and twin flames. i just loved getting to write little bits and pieces of all these different AUs, giving harry and louis different names, stories, and genders, but still making it so their love is the one thing that never changes. and giving them their happy ending was just so cathartic.

i'll follow you til there's no tomorrow (G, 12.2k)

alright so i'm a sucker for cute pets and i can't go a week without thinking about fiona and mellie, so what? i loved this one cause we often tend to think of niall as the happy-go-lucky one in the band so i loved delving deeper into the mental health aspect and showing his healing journey with the help of the cutest dog in existence. also the first fic i posted in the uk and wrote part of in class so has a special place in my heart for that.

Remember Me (When I'm With You) (T, 1.4k)

this is one of my less-popular ones but it's one i think back to a lot. it was my first time writing an open ending, and i loved using the fallen angel setting to look deeper into depression, body dysmorphia, and memory loss that makes you feel like a stranger in your own life. there's a part of me that wants to write harry's pov of it so i can better showcase the effects that all of this has on the loved ones, but it's something i never got around to do. this is kind of my semi-finished passion project if you will.

even as young as we are (2 part series, T, 12.4k)

yes i know this is technically a series so it doesn't exactly match the rules but have you considered i don't care✨️

i love kids, i love reading about them, writing them, seeing how characters react and change thanks to them, and this series was honestly just amazing on that account. i got to explore so many interesting topics with this, a lot of thought and love went into it all, and it's just always gonna have a special space in my heart because of that.

additionally, it's the first fic with myri as my beta and writing partner (which feels insane to say cause i feel like we've known each other forever) so i always think back on this as "our" series because i may have written it, but it wouldn't have come to life without them🤍

alright hope y'all enjoyed this trip down memory lane, i'm gonna go cry now🤍

[invinciblerodent]

Writing Interview Tag Game

Tagged by @ra-scheln – thank you dear! ❤️

When did you start writing?

I feel like there is almost never a set date for anyone- I never really considered myself a writer, I still don't fully embrace it as a label any more than I do many others, but it's very much in that "technically true" vein of things- I don't think of myself as a writer, but I do write, and have been writing most of my life.

The first story I ever consciously remember writing was a lengthy (and objectively terrible) story I wrote around the time I was maybe 11 or thereabouts, though- kind of a fairytale paranormal romance before I would have ever found out what that meant, involving wisecracking frogs, and the three little pigs, and some sort of an ancient curse, and it stretched quite luxuriously across roughly 120 single-spaced pages that -true to form for me- were never posted anywhere.

It was utterly gratuitous, masturbatory, filled with the most horrible purple prose in existence, and I will never stop feeling regretful over losing it to a simple hardware upgrade.

I really wish I could re-read it now, at 30, and maybe get back a little bit of that unapologetic confidence and drive to just write what the fuck ever I feel like writing, without feeling the eyes of an imaginary critic burning holes into the back of my head.

Are there different themes or genres that you enjoy reading than what you write?

While I'm most interested in writing navel-gaze-y, introspective character-pieces and romance/fantasy (romantasy? is that what the kids are calling it now?), I do like to consider myself an omnivore, when it comes to reading.

I generally read a lot of literary- and historical fiction, SF, fantasy, a couple thrillers here and there- though there are topics I don't gravitate towards, I don't exactly discriminate against any genre, and I try to keep a varied diet of pulp- and high-brow literature alike, lol.

Some books I've really loved over these past few years are (hold on, scanning my shelf here) Min Jin Lee's "Pachinko", Ursula K. Le Guin's "The Left Hand of Darkness", Raphael Bob-Waksberg's "Someone Who Will Love You In All Your Damaged Glory", and Iona Grey's "Letters to the Lost". That's an award-winning saga novel, a genre classic, a contemporary collection of short stories, and a very good romance novel, lol.

Although I do admit, reading tends to fall by the wayside in my most active writing periods, which is whenever I get super absorbed in a particular video game, lol.

Can you tell me about your writing space?

I don't actually have a dedicated writing space. Over the past while, I've realized that I most like writing by hand, in coffee shops mainly- which may make me look a touch obnoxious, but it's just the way my brain and hand work the best together. (I handwrite slower than I type, so it's easier to get into that ~~flow~~ state because I have time to think without pausing, and with the background noise being just at the right level, I can babysit an americano for hours at a time.) If I'm writing on the computer, it generally falls more into the realm of editing.

I don't exactly have a preference when it comes to the space itself, but the stationery is crucial. I'm very particular about the pen I use (it has to be a Zebra Superfine H-5000- I've been using them exclusively for like ten years now, and unfortunately you can't really get refills for them, but they're like a dollar each, and they last bloody forever), and slightly less particular about notebooks, but I still have strong preferences there too (lined paper, hard cover, not terribly ugly- which is harder to find than one would think).

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

I don't typically try on a conscious level, but sometimes, just that dedicated action of putting my notebook away, and walking to the coffee shop gets the words rolling. Often I find myself starting to tell myself the story on the way, and then I'm kind of playing catch-up with myself, once I actually get there.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing?

Disappointment, mostly. "Wasted" potential, reclamation of personal choice, and the deeply personal act of mourning the self that died so that another may live. What-ifs, maybes, could-have-beens. The things we want to want.

.................. also dicks. Dicks are a big part of it.

What is your reason for writing?

There's no real reason, I think. I thought about this one for a long time, but I can't phrase it any better than prev: the words just have to go somewhere.

Besides, if I'm not writing, I'm crafting. If I'm not crafting, I'm drawing. If I'm not drawing, I'm designing, baking, making something. I'm always making something.

Is there any kind of specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I haven't published much of my writing over the past few years, but from what I've gotten, "It feels like you really know this character" is the comment I keep coming back to in my mind.

I got that one on a silly, smutty fic from like 2016, and it really gave me pause. It really got stuck in my mind.

It's been many years since, and I still catch myself smiling whenever I write a line of dialogue that feels quintessential to a particular character. I found that really encouraging.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I... I'm still kind of unpacking whether I want to be thought about at all. Whether I want to be perceived. You know, the terrifying ordeal of being known, and all that.

I think the way I want to be known is how a pet fish knows its owner, you know? Like I arrive occasionally, at a reliable, if nebulous time, and they kind of have a vague idea of what I am, but mostly I just bring them food, dump it in the water, and disappear while they voraciously consume whatever it was that was dumped in there.

If goldfish were terminally horny and could leave comments but expected no response, they'd be the ideal audience for me.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I want to say maybe... evocative imagery, and dialogue. I like to get somewhat poetic with my descriptions and I feel like I'm rather good at grasping somewhat powerful images through minute details, that's something I know I have a lot of fun writing. I also enjoy the process of trying to find words that feel like they sit right in a certain character's mouth.

If someone were to actually say "he would not fucking say that" to me, I think I would mentally walk into the nearest ocean.

How do you feel about your own writing?

.... Insecure. Apologetic. Fearful, in a way I'm well aware I shouldn't be.

I have tried to blame the fact that English is my second language, and there is a kernel of truth in there, but I know that's... kind of bullshit. I know my linguistic prowess is not exactly the issue here (if I may, bigger idiots than me have done it, I've a darling friend who can absolutely testify), it's literally just the confidence that I lack.

I'm also apologetic in tagging, or promoting my work whenever I do end up posting something, because I know it's not going to have mass appeal, or I know it's not going to be interesting to a lot of people even of the ones following me, and that completely undue, asinine embarrassment is definitely holding me back within my writing as well.

This is why I enjoy handwriting most I think, because that, I know is for me.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

It's purely for myself, and this ties into the previous answer- I know I write my best when it's utterly self-indulgent. But that's also the shit that makes me feel the most naked emotionally, so it's hard to bring myself to want to subject myself to any kind of scrutiny.

This really is the fucking duality of man, to crave validation but hiss and sneer at anything that might invite it, lol.

Anyway, I think if you guys are up for it, I'd like to tag @sketchyelvenasss and @lindira, and of course anyone who feels like it. ❤️

(Please do excuse me for the copious amounts of whining in this post lol, I have realized in myself that once I come closer to filling a new notebook I always get a bit emotional about my stuff, and I've like 10 pages left on my current one. Prime angsting-time.)

[tailoredshirt]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

I'm catching up on things I was tagged in, and I'm doing this one! Tagged by @wtfuckevenknows @reyesstrand @lemonlyman-dotcom @rachelsversion1 @theredandwhitequeen @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @safeashousespdf

1. Are you named after anyone?

My mom says she heard my name on a TV show but can't remember which one.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Definitely about 1.5 weeks ago.

3. Do you have kids?

No.

4. What sports do you play/have played?

Softball

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

How they're approaching me. Loud, quiet, observant, etc. Because I am a small prey animal and I need to know what your intentions are.

7. What’s your eye color?

Blue-green.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Both. But more scary movies these days for me. In fic, I need happy endings.

9. Any talents?

Not to brag, but I'm on level 552 of Triple Match (3D matching game). I can also sing the rap part from TLC's Waterfalls.

10. Where were you born?

In the hospital I currently work next door to. I walk over there every day on the way to the bus.

11. What are your hobbies?

The usual: writing fic, reading fic, making gif sets, making fan vids. Also: collecting/making perfume, reading books (esp mysteries and non-fiction), antiquing, interior decorating, reading wikipedia articles on strange topics, and crafty stuff like embroidery, miniatures, and jewelry making.

12. Do you have any pets?

This is Lily. She is almost 15! She’s my sweet girl.

13. How tall are you?

5'10

14. Favorite subject in school?

English. I was always the teacher's pet because I answered questions in class and wrote good papers and obviously loved to read.

15. Dream job?

Don't have one. I like my current job because my boss is a friend I've known for nearly 15 years. If money was no issue, I'd work part-time at a bookstore like I did throughout high school and college.

-

Idk who hasn't done this, but consider this an open tag! Tag me if you do it.

[your-yandere-darling]

✿.⋆Hello My Beloved Darling!!~♡

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✎.⋆About This Blog⋆.➳

This blog is centered around yanderes; oneshots and headcanons with either fictional characters, my ocs, or just character types you want to see as yanderes (who may or may not become an oc of mine)

My DMs and inbox are almost always completely open for you to send a request (or chat but I’d suggest chatting on my main blog which I’ll tag in a bit :3)

Though, if requests are closed I’ll keep my inbox and DMs open just in case someone wants to chat or ask about something but if requests are closed, please wait until they’re open again to send a request :)

My pfp is my oc Klaus who is my favorite version of a yandere! My friend @torchiiko drew him for me!!

❥.⋆↜Masterlist↝⋆.★

❥.⋆↜My Ocs↝⋆.★

✎.⋆About Me⋆.➳

I go by Amber and Jonas and I’d really appreciate it if you used both names for me! I identify as genderfluid and a trans man; male, female, and nonbinary; and my pronouns are He/They/She. I’d really appreciate it if you mix up my pronouns/gendered terms when referring to me (ex: “Where are they, I saw them a while ago? Actually, I think he might be in his room. She’s always on her computer writing something.” or “He’s in here, but they’re too busy on her computer writing something.”) but if you must refer to me with one set of pronouns, I prefer they/them or he/him rather than just she/her

This is a side blog, my main blog is @selfshipping-shapeshifter where I chat with mutuals and gush about my f/os!

I have a few other writing blogs:

@self-shipping-selfcare where I write x Reader oneshots and headcanons (my main writing blog)

@gt-cafe where I write exclusively Giant/tiny oneshots (both original works and fanfics)

@letters-from-your-fo where I write exclusively letters (typically but not limited to love letters) from your f/o to you

@fnaf-edits where my friend and I post exclusively Fnaf (he does edits, matchups, and kin assignments and I write oneshots and headcanons)

✎.⋆I Will Write⋆.➳

Fluff

Angst

Suggestive scenes

Romantic oneshots/headcanons

Platonic oneshots/headcanons

G/t Stuff

Polyamorous relationships

Yandere Character x Reader

Yandere Character x My Oc

Yandere My Oc x Reader

Yandere My Oc x My Oc

Yandere Character x My Self Insert

Yandere My Oc x My Self Insert

And maybe more

✎.⋆I Won’t Write⋆.➳

Character x Character (sometimes, ignoring polyamory)

Smut (I can write really suggestive scenes but I can’t write full-on smut)

YouTubers/Celebrities x Reader

Taboo topics such as Insest and pedophilia and more

Some of the weird fetishes

✎.⋆Fandoms I Write For⋆.➳

At Dead of Night

Beastars

Bendy and the Ink Machine/Bendy and the Dark Revival

Call of Duty Zombies (Primis and Ultimis Richtofen only please)

Cuphead

Danganronpa

Detroit: Become Human

Doki Doki Literature Club

Five Nights at Freddy's

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss

Homegrown Pet

John Doe Game

Portal 2

Puss in Boots The Last Wish

Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs

Scrutinized

Skyrim

Spooky Month

Super Mario Bros Movie (Bowser only please)

Team Fortress 2

The Bad Guys

The Great Mouse Detective

Trapped With Jester

Undertale/Deltarune

Villainous

Yandere Simulator

Your Boyfriend

And maybe more I can't remember at the moment (please don’t hesitate to ask me if there’s a certain fandom I’ll write for, because I believe I write for more than this but I can’t remember all my fandoms)

✎.⋆Other Rules You Should Know⋆.➳

If you’re requesting something from Call of Duty Zombies, I’m still learning the lore and everything and I only write Richtofen as of now

For Danganronpa, I’ll write for the games only. I haven’t seen the anime yet, reason why I can’t write for it. I’ll also write for any character except Celeste and anyone from the anime and Ultra Despair Girls. My favorite characters to write for are Teruteru and Hifumi

For the Super Mario Bros Movie, I’ll only write for Bowser for right now

For Villainous, I haven’t seen the show yet but I have seen the shorts so I won’t write for anyone from the show only yet

I love writing for yanderes because I find it fun but I don’t support anything any of them do

I heavily prefer to write for soft yanderes who are still very sweet and loving towards their darling, who still allow them to have friends and go out but are a tad bit controlling and manipulative but also very much lovesick and obsessed with their darling; I don’t really want to write for anything extremely abusive

I have the right to reject a request for whatever reason (I think I can’t write it, it’s not a fandom I’m in, I’ve already written something too similar to it, I’m uncomfortable with it, etc) and I might either answer your ask politely rejecting your request or I just delete the ask

If I'm obsessed with a certain fandom I'll be more focused on writing for it but I don’t mind if you request something from a different fandom (though I prefer if you request something from the fandom(s) that I’m currently obsessed with)

I’m a lazy procrastinator who fears I won’t be good at interpreting the characters well. It might take a while for me to finish your request because I either procrastinated, didn’t know how to write the character you requested, or both. Another reason why I wouldn't finish a request quickly is because I had a lack of motivation and/or inspiration which has been happening a lot recently, so if your request takes longer from that then I sincerely apologize

Please be specific when requesting something, if you aren't specific I'll assume you're fine with something random. And for polyamorous relationships, please specify the relationship (ex: Is Character A and Character B dating each other and the reader or are they simply friends who are both dating the reader?)

Crossovers are welcome here, the only rule is it has to be in my list of fandoms. You can still ask me if I know a certain TV Show/movie/video game/book/anime. If you request anything anime, chances are I don’t know it since I haven’t seen a lot of anime. I want to watch more, though (at some point)

Please be respectful and I hope you enjoy your time here!

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[thejournaluser]

Prologue: The Letter

Please note, read the tags for TWs and tell me if it needs more.

Hello to whomever this may concern.

If you are the man who was sleeping on the bed where you found this letter, this message is for you. If you are not the man I just described, please stop reading and put it back. I assure you that whatever I will have to say in this letter does not concern you and the man you saw sleeping on the bed needs to read this. Very. This is a matter of life and death concerning the capital of this city. So I do advice you to put it down and place it somewhere the man on the bed can find it when he wakes up. Do hope that he can do whatever he needs to do in the best manner possible, yes?

That said, I hope you stop reading by now.

On the topic of importance, I do hope that the person reading this is the man who is indeed sleeping. If so, I offer you my greeting. Hello, James. You probably won't remember anything when you wake up so I advice you to calm down and put down this letter until you have come to.

Calm? Good.

Now, look around and see outside the window. Witness our mistake. See that tall building over there? That used to be our headquarters. Our base, the only place where we can actually feel safe. You used to be a hero of the people you know. But now they're gone. For what seemed like a short-term plan to stop the end of the world... became the plan to hasten it instead.

I must admit- I never saw the reason why we did it. Or why you did the things you thought was right to do. But I also found it morally correct when Kenny decided to bomb the shelter the other day. So I guess I'm just a really messed up human. Either way, James, I do not blame you for the things you did, and I will still try to be friends with you even though you hated me the most. But I guess with the amnesia, you would probably change your views toward me. I don't really hope that, to be honest.

But what I really hope for is that you would at the least pay me a favor. I saved your life, you know. I bargained and bartered. I am the reason why you lived and woke up. I am the reason why you get to live just another day. I sacrificed my little haven for you, James. I really did. All that hard work, months and sweat poured into one place where we can all feel like we can still be human... But it's not just you who I saved, no, I saved everyone else as well.

It's only up to them if they want to continue living that is, but I'm afraid I'm giving you have no choice. You need to do me a favor or else they'll be in jeopardy. Come to my lab, James. And kill me.

I know this seems too fast for you, James, I know. But I need to state what needs to be stated. You need to come to where I am, which is my laboratory, and kill me. Destroy my lab in any means you can think of.

By the time you face me, I will be already gone. I will no longer be human enough to communicate with anyone, not even you, James. I cannot tell you where I am because I know one of the people who broke into your room will at least skim this letter and find my address and set me loose. I cannot afford to let that happen. Find me yourself, James. And kill me.

I may have thought that it's much better to let you live. But I am no longer able to keep myself as so. I have seen the abyss that stared back at you, James. Even if you can't remember, I've seen the horrors you alone have created. But even with this kind of sentiment, I will not allow you to go off. You did this on yourself, James. But please, I give you this as your second chance to redeem yourself. Not me though. I've destroyed myself in the process and have seen how it changes my body. I fear what it does when it reaches my head and into my mind.

I beg of you. Find me, and end me.

Respectfully, and lovingly,

Quell.

[allthelittlecreepycrawlies]

Originally another thread for @grtr3's little sangyaoFES, this one got even more heavily edited than the other, with a whole ending added and such. Could be read as a prequel to A Second Glance

Title: The Golden Cure

Ship: pre-SangYao

Tags: Sickfic, Mostly Fluff, Author Has Nothing Witty This Time

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His new sect leader had warned him that of all the sect territories, Qinghe Nie's was the coldest when winter hit.

Staring out at the heavy piles of snow as he shivered, Meng Yao thought that Nie Mingjue had still managed to undersell just how cold it could be this far north.

Well, there was nothing else to be done for it. He'd lit both of the censers that had come with the room, had worn the warmest of the clothing he'd taken from the disciple stores he’d been shown, and was wrapped in the heaviest of the blankets he'd been provided.

And still he shivered.

He turned his attention back to his desk, trying to concentrate on the day's unfinished records, but it was only a matter of moments before another set of harsh, chest rattling coughs escaped his mouth.

"Here."

Blinking through watering eyes, Meng Yao found a little golden bear on a stick being held in front of his face.

"What is it?" he asked, hating how rough and alien his voice sounded.

"It's made of salted jin ju paste and honey. It'll help with the pain in your throat," Nie Huaisang said as he laid down a tea tray with more of the bears sticking out of a jar and a pot of tea that had a strong smell of xiangcheng fruit.

Meng Yao took the stick, eyeing the golden bear a little warily, then popped it into his mouth.

The taste wasn't bad. He could see using these for flavoring tea on occasions.

He watched as Nie Huaisang poured them both full cups, and then took notice of the faint tremor in his hands and how pale he was.

Oh. 

Now he remembered overhearing his sect leader discussing winter preparations with the head of the infirmary hall, and one of the topics had been supplies for when his younger brother’s health took a dive "like it does every winter."

Which meant Nie Huaisang probably knew about all kinds of remedies and treatments for bad weather illness from personal experience.

Reassured, he simply rested his too-heavy head on his hand, letting the honey bear slowly melt in his mouth.

"This is your first northern winter, isn't it?" Huaisang asked as he set a steaming cup in front of him.

"Mm-hmm."

"Ouch, and with this one predicted to be especially harsh, too. On the bright side, with how hard you've been working, you should have your core built up enough that next winter will hardly touch you."

Meng Yao took the bear out of his mouth to speak. "If that's the case, why are you so adamant about not improving yours?"

Huaisang rolled one shoulder in a little half-shrug. "Most of my health issues are things I was born with. And some of them a core just can't fix unless I were to break all the way through to immortality."

A fair point, though it made Meng Yao a little morose about his own training goals. He rather hoped that the pain from cold spearing into injuries that had never fully healed wouldn't be on the list of things a stronger core couldn't fix.

"Then I will defer to your medical knowledge,” he said instead of any of those thoughts, pushing his uncertain feelings down deep.

Nie Huaisang snorted, amused. "Medical knowledge, he says. All I know is the stuff healers do to make picky kids not complain about how bad medicine tastes."

Still, the honey bear was helping soothe the roughness all the coughing had left in his throat. "It's good advice all the same. Thank you."

Nie Huaisang grinned at the praise, then motioned to the tea cup he'd set out. "Once you finish a couple of bears and the tea, we're heading to storage to get you some proper fur blankets, okay? Then I'm going to order you some heavier robes. Though… actually…" 

Meng Yao looked up, not liking the frown on Nie Huaisang's face as he tapped his cheek in thought. "Gongzi?" he asked hesitantly around the honey bear.

"You should have had winter clothing and blankets given to you already. Didn't one of the quartermasters talk to you?"

He could tell the truth; that when he’d picked up his first allotment of supplies on being brought to the Unclean Realms, the man who’d handed them over had snidely implied that it was all the generosity he’d be getting from the sect, and anything more would be coming out of his pay. 

While no one had actually made good on that threat, they'd given him enough runaround that he'd learned to stop requesting anything months ago.

He could say so. Nie Huaisang would believe him.

He could-

No. 

No, he wasn’t going to do that. 

Bad enough that there were some who mockingly accused him of hiding behind the sect leader; he didn’t want to give them any ammunition to use against his tentative relationship with the young master as well. 

He bit the last little part of the melted bear off the stick and laid it down. “Things have been busy. We probably just missed crossing paths,” he said.

“Hrm… If you say so,” Huaisang murmured, still looking dubious. “Alright, then. Next time you need something, come to me first, got it?”

“Your brother already disapproves of your spending, gongzi. Won’t he get angry?”

“He complains about inks or aviary supplies, he can’t complain when I’m making sure his best aide doesn’t spend the whole season sick because he’s not been equipped for the weather.”

A fair point. 

He still probably shouldn't be allowing this. While it wasn't the same as Nie Huaisang pulling heir rank on his behalf, everyone in the sect knew he wouldn't personally go commissioning clothing and such for just anyone.

Ah, but that particular ship had already sailed, evidenced by the braids and guan in his hair.

(And the little custard cakes that appeared like magic in his desk drawer on occasion, but no one knew about those besides the two of them.)

And… honestly… a part of him enjoyed the fact that his young master saw him as someone he wanted to spoil. Someone his young master would make the effort for.

He smiled as he reached for the next bear on a stick Nie Huaisang held out to him.

"Very well. I accept your offer."

[self-shipping-selfcare]

✿.⋆Welcome My Beloveds to Selfshipping Selfcare~♡

❀.⋆Requests Are Open~♡

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Love Like You (End Credits)

Steven Universe

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♪I always thought I might be bad

Now I’m sure that it’s true

‘Cause I think you’re so good

And I’m nothing like you♪

♪Look at you go

I just adore you

I wish that I knew

What makes you think I’m so special♪

《↬.•.•✿•.•.↫》

✎.⋆About This Blog⋆.➳

This is my main writing blog where I write fanfics (both requested and self indulgent) and post about selfshipping, f/os, and x reader stuff!

My DMs and inbox are almost always completely open for you to send a request (or chat but I’d suggest chatting on my main blog which I’ll tag in a bit :3)

Though, if requests are closed I’ll keep my inbox and DMs open just in case someone wants to chat or ask about something but if requests are closed, please wait until they’re open again to send a request :)

Here I write Character x Reader oneshots and headcanons and sometimes Character/My Ocs x My Self Insert/Ocs (and maybe even My Ocs x Reader if anyone likes them enough)

❥.⋆↜Masterlist↝⋆.★

❥.⋆↜My Ocs↝⋆.★

✎.⋆About Me⋆.➳

I go by Amber and Jonas and I’d really appreciate it if you used both names for me! I identify as genderfluid and a trans man; male, female, and nonbinary; and my pronouns are He/They/She. I’d really appreciate it if you mix up my pronouns/gendered terms when referring to me (ex: “Where are they, I saw them a while ago? Actually, I think he might be in his room. She’s always on her computer writing something.” or “He’s in here, but they’re too busy on her computer writing something.”) but if you must refer to me with one set of pronouns, I prefer they/them or he/him rather than just she/her

This is a side blog, my main blog is @selfshipping-shapeshifter where I chat with mutuals and gush about my f/os!

I have a few other writing blogs:

@gt-cafe where I write Giant/tiny oneshots (both original works and fanfics)

@letters-from-your-fo where I write letters (typically but not limited to love letters) from your f/o to you

@your-yandere-darling where I write exclusively yandere oneshots and headcanons (with fictional characters, my ocs, and/or just a yandere character type)

@fnaf-edits where my friend and I post exclusively Fnaf (he does edits, matchups, and kin assignments and I write oneshots and headcanons)

✎.⋆I Will Write⋆.➳

Fluff

Angst

Suggestive scenes

Romantic oneshots/headcanons

Platonic oneshots/headcanons

Polyamorous relationships

Character x Reader

Character x My Oc

My Oc x Reader

My Oc x My Oc

Character x My Self Insert

My Oc x My Self Insert

And maybe more

✎.⋆I Won’t Write⋆.➳

Character x Character (sometimes, ignoring polyamory)

Smut (I can write suggestive scenes but I can’t write full-on smut)

YouTubers/Celebrities x Reader

Taboo topics such as Insest and pedophilia and more

Some of the weird fetishes

✎.⋆Fandoms I Write For⋆.➳

A Monster in Paris

Beastars

Bendy and the Ink Machine/Bendy and the Dark Revival

Call of Duty Zombies (Primis and Ultimis Richtofen only please)

Cuphead

Danganronpa

Detroit: Become Human

Doki Doki Literature Club

Five Nights at Freddy's

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss

Homegrown Pet

Portal 2

Puss in Boots The Last Wish

Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs

Skyrim

Super Mario Bros Movie (Bowser only please)

Team Fortress 2

The Bad Guys

The Great Mouse Detective

Undertale/Deltarune

Villainous

And maybe more I can't remember at the moment (please don’t hesitate to ask me if there’s a certain fandom I’ll write for, because I believe I write for more than this but I can’t remember all my fandoms)

✎.⋆Other Rules You Should Know⋆.➳

If you’re requesting something from Call of Duty Zombies, I’m still learning the lore and everything and I only write Richtofen as of now

For Danganronpa, I’ll write for the games only. I haven’t seen the anime yet, reason why I can’t write for it. I’ll also write for any character except Celeste and anyone from the anime and Ultra Despair Girls. My favorite characters to write for are Teruteru and Hifumi

For the Super Mario Bros Movie, I’ll only write for Bowser for right now

For Villainous, I haven’t seen the show yet but I have seen the shorts so I won’t write for anyone from the show only yet

I have the right to reject a request for whatever reason (I think I can’t write it, it’s not a fandom I’m in, I’ve already written something too similar to it, I’m uncomfortable with it, etc) and I might either answer your ask politely rejecting your request or I just delete the ask

If I'm obsessed with a certain fandom I'll be more focused on writing for it but I don’t mind if you request something from a different fandom (though I prefer if you request something from the fandom(s) that I’m currently obsessed with)

I’m a lazy procrastinator who fears I won’t be good at interpreting the characters well. It might take a while for me to finish your request because I either procrastinated, didn’t know how to write the character you requested, or both. Another reason why I wouldn't finish a request quickly is because I had a lack of motivation and/or inspiration which has been happening a lot recently, so if your request takes longer from that then I sincerely apologize

Please be specific when requesting something, if you aren't specific I'll assume you're fine with something random. And for polyamorous relationships, please specify the relationship (ex: Is Character A and Character B dating each other and the reader or are they simply friends who are both dating the reader?)

Crossovers are welcome here, the only rule is it has to be in my list of fandoms. You can still ask me if I know a certain TV Show/movie/video game/book/anime. If you request anything anime, chances are I don’t know it since I haven’t seen a lot of anime. I want to watch more, though (at some point)

Please be respectful and I hope you enjoy your time here!

I have a Wattpad account and I’d appreciate it if you checked it out and gave me a follow! (Mayhaps read some of my stories? )

✾.⋆I’ll Be Here Whenever You Need Me~♡

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[the-priestess-of-dawn]

Your prince/bodyguard thread got me thinking... What do you feel about royal romance Chrima? Like Grima leads Plegia and Chroms the Crown prince and theres this whole thing. I tried to look for something like that in the tag but didnt find it sadly :-: Also off topic but do you think we're going to get the male version of rearmed f!Grima?

I'm not sure I've ever actually seen a royal romance with Chrom/Grima... It's a fairly popular au for regular Chrom/Robin, but... Well, it is understandably a little more difficult to do it with Grima, since you have to come up with some reason why they aren't going right for a full-scale apocalypse. And then of course if you're going to make a full story out of the concept, there has to be some kind of plot that brings them together. Arranged marriage is pretty common in royal x royal stories, but again... you'd have to come up with a justification for GRIMA choosing this option, which is a little difficult because I'm not sure Ylisse really has anything they'd want (if Grima has already been awakened, the Fire Emblem isn't necessary. Nice to take, maybe, but not needed. Unless you come up with some creative reason why Grima DOES need it in your au, of course.)

I think the closest I've ever come to a royal x royal Chrima romance myself is this old arranged marriage au concept I came up with at one point (though I can't remember if I ever actually posted about it anywhere? maybe in a twitter thread once? but I might have just thought about it and then not done it), but the arrangement was actually with EMMERYN. And also, it was originally with Naga, ruler of the Divine Dragon Tribe, but then Grima staged a little coup and took over. The exalt of Ylisse still wanted the marriage to happen for the sake of power (and because he was secretly plotting to invade the Divine Dragons' land and wanted to use negotiations as a front for gathering intelligence and setting up his army).

But Emmeryn had at that point fallen in love with Phila and didn't want to go through with it, so Chrom was determined to make sure she didn't have to marry. Besides, this villain killed Naga and is an all-around asshole! No way he's coming anywhere near Emm! And, well, that makes Grima want to marry her just to piss Chrom off. The exalt is ecstatic and immediately schemes. Chrom tries to cause trouble in an attempt to force Grima to call it off. Grima causes problems for Chrom right back. Neither of them realize that they want to fuck each other so bad it makes them both look stupid.

Of course, Emmeryn and Chrom (and Lissa, who's there too and happy to prank Grima OR Chrom if asked) discover what their father is up to and end up having to work together with Grima to stop their countries from going to war. (Grima does hate humans in this au, but it's a "I don't trust them and I won't help them and I enjoy it when they're miserable" kind of hatred, not a "I will raze the whole world to the ground rather than suffer them to exist" kind of hatred like in canon.) And Chrom and Grima finally get their shit together and realize that there are better ways to flirt than getting in each other's way all the time. Thus, the story ends with Emmeryn becoming the exalt after her father is killed in his attempted invasion, and Chrom marries Grima in his sister's stead.

Buuuut sadly I don't really have any plans to turn that idea into a real fic. There's just too much going on. I'd exhaust myself too easily 😭😭😭

Anyway, as for getting a male version of rearmed f!Grima... Ugh, I hope so! But I doubt it will be this year, what with our 3 m!Robin alts (Brave Robin was voted in of course, but still... I'm shocked we got 2 other m!Robins so close together. Maybe the legendary was predictable, but I did NOT see Groom Robin coming.) The thing is, all of the m!Grimas currently in the game have amnesia, so I definitely do think we need one with memories! It probably makes the most sense for this to be a Future Past Grima to match rearmed f!Grima (and to go along with Fallen f!Morgan), but honestly I would love to see a hierophant!Grima, too... Like, we have NO idea what Grima was up to during Awakening's 2-year timeskip, and I would love to see that explored

[navree]

“Haven't touched on everything I could talk about with Aegon; there's some sex stuff I've alluded to in previous posts that I almost included here but this is already long and it's an incredibly niche reading of the character, but if y'all wanna hear it lemme know.”

Yes please 🙏

I also remember reading some tags you wrote about him flinching on that “most pathetic moments” post or something like that.

So, as I said, niche reading of the character, but they appear to have unintentionally written him as someone who has a lot of trouble with physical intimacy. Which I find such a fascinating detail because it appears to have been entirely unintentional on their part and done in an episode that was largely meant to make us think "wow doesn't Aegon suck?" and instead I'm left thinking "I think Aegon has a lot more issues than they even decided on."

I unfortunately can't find the post, but I do remember that tag, and yeah, when Jace touches his shoulder during his toast (after he realizes that Aemond will beat his ass), Aegon very clearly jumps and/or flinches, which isn't a normal reaction one has to the person they're talking to patting them on the shoulder. So it's a general touch thing, for one, especially since the prior two episodes we saw him in saw that Alicent could kinda rough handle him at times. I'll go to my grave fighting the "Alicent is an abusive mother" crowing from people who have the apparent mental capacity of a frog but even still, that stuff happened, even if it makes sense (medieval society with different standards on childrearing and also one of the only two times that happened was when Aemond had literally just lost a whole eye and she was incredibly distressed). So there's already that to make the case that Aegon doesn't seem to be someone who enjoys being touched. And I'll admit that this can be chalked up to acting choices more than writing choices, that TGC likely made choices about Aegon's comfort level with being touched and that how physical Alicent would get with certain scenes would likely be more discussed between Olivia and Ty than in the script.

But here's the thing: they've also clearly and deliberately stated in the writing that Aegon has to be absolutely plastered, completely black out drunk, to have any kind of sexual interaction at all. Helaena says it explicitly, he completely ignores her as it relates to their maritals "unless he's drunk", he was so inebriated during the assault on Dyana that he straight up doesn't remember it, and even on Driftmark he's getting himself tanked before he goes to leer at serving girls (as well as telling Aemond that the way to get through an unpleasant experience like the dinner with the Blacks is to drink a lot). This is someone they've confirmably written as a person who is doing a lot of self medicating before engaging in sexual intimacy. And that's an important detail to mark when Aegon is married to his sister.

One of the reasons why Targaryen inter-marriage doesn't seem to have been that big an issue for most of the Targaryens even in their own thoughts is because it doesn't seem like they were raised to socialize with their siblings as siblings, but rather as potential romantic and sexual partners. I won't get into a whole thing about exactly why incest is bad, that's a long and very complicated topic and we all know that incest is, in fact, bad, but one of the main components into why it's Wrong is because that's a member of your family, which is a very specific kind of relationship (it's why some writers like to use it as a shocking plot twist *coughCassieClarecough*, because of the immediate sense of wrongness that sets in once you realize someone you've engaged with romantically/sexually is related to you). Targaryens don't do that, members of the family are clearly raised to view siblings not as siblings, but as a future wife or future husband, Dany herself says it in the main series when she ruminates on how she'd just naturally expected to marry Viserys, though that was complicated by the fact that Viserys wasn't just her brother but also operating as both parent and guardian and bodyguard all in one as well as being her brother. But Alicent's kids aren't following that mold. They do view each other through a familial lens, and it is reinforced by their mother that they are family, that they are siblings, and they were in all likelihood raised via more traditional sibling socialization, not Targaryen ones.

So Aegon is marrying someone he doesn't want to marry, someone he has spent his life viewing as his actual sister, and we have no reason to believe this didn't happen pretty soon after the betrothal (let's assume it's a year afterwards and Helaena's around thirteen while Aegon is around fourteen, that's normal marriageable ages in Westeros). Not to mention Aegon appears to follow the Faith of the Seven somewhat loyally, he also partakes in prayer at the family dinner and as I've said previously, he literally hides out in a sept under the altar of the Mother in a time of crisis (the symbolism, I cry), and we know the Faith holds incest to be an abomination. So you have all of that baggage, and then you add in all that alcoholism talk AND all those other statements? Then yeah, they've essentially written Aegon as someone who not only might dislike physical contact in general, but specifically needs to be inebriated to the point of passing out in order to stand any sexual contact or intimacy at all. And yet we still know he's done it, he has kids, and wow gosh this kinda reminds me of Alicent isn't that odd?

I don't think it was done on purpose, I think TGC and Olivia and Ty made some acting choices (and TGC especially likes to play up Aegon's poor little meow meow status so I assume a concept of Aegon not liking being touched was something he'd have in his wheelhouse), and the writers really wanted to get across that Aegon is a drunken lech, but the way they did it and the baggage of all the other stuff we've seen in the show, like how these kids were raised, means that, well, yeah. Aegon reads as a character who dislikes being touched, and has a pathological desperation to self-medicate before he sexually performs, especially with his sister to whom he is married.

And it's an interesting area to play around in, not only in his specific relationship to Helaena (that's a whole trove of stuff they can delve into, especially after Blood and Cheese), but also in his relationship to other people, his bond with Sunfyre, his relationship with his kids, how it might be compounded or mutate or otherwise develop after he's injured in the war. Again, I don't think it was intentional, that's just how I see it when I look at it, but if they want to lean into it and add intentionality and do stuff with it, they could, and I think it could be very good character work.