#i can't really complain when others failed the exam | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

qyxzun · 9 months ago

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🕸️┆𝕻𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄.

╰┈➤ ❝𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘𝐘𝐘𝐘 𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, my name is Y/N L/N. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for about two years, I've been the one and only spider woman. I'm pretty sure you know the rest.

Been fighting other bad guys, helping cats off trees, saving plains from crashing into buildings, you know—the basics.

I lost my best friends when I realized one of them was my nemesis.

but that didn't stop me from fighting for the better!

I just wish I wasn't alone. What if there was another universe where someone understood me?

whatever, probably just my imagination.❞

𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐑𝐊 𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝟗𝟐𝟔-𝐙, there was you, sleeping in bed so peacefully before your loud blaring alarm on your phone started to ring for the fifth time. You groaned when the sound disrupted your sleep before you finally picked up your phone to check what time it was. your eyes completely widened. You were late for school.

"Shit!" you cursed, pushing yourself off the bed and running to the bathroom to take the quickest bath you could. Taking off your clothes, dosing yourself with the shower's water, and quickly soaping up your entire body. As quickly as you entered, you almost tripped, going out of the shower with a towel wrapped around your soaked body. You ran back to your room, sloppily but quickly putting on your Brooklyn Visions Academy uniform. You still think that school is elitist, but you can't complain for now.

With no time to spare other than lacing up your shoes and taking your unzipped bag, you ran out of your dorm, forgetting to lock the door. You started to quickly jog your way to the school with your bag slung in front of you in an attempt to zip it closed with your papers and work securely inside. Traffic was booming like crazy, which made you groan impatiently. "My luck should really not be affecting my school," you grumbled.

The light finally turned red, letting pedestrians pass. You pushed past multiple people, apologizing when you ran through them as you continued to sprint to the school's entrance. When you finally stepped inside the school, you ran to your locker, put your bag and stuff away, and sprinted so fast to your class before the bell could ring. You arrived just in time, holding your textbooks by the door while a bead of sweat ran down your neck.

You panted, out of breath from running the entire morning, while your professor looked at you, unimpressed that you were late for how many times?

"Tardy again, Y/N. Keep up if you want to pass this year." She said, obviously hinting that you were someone who didn't care about education. Rude.

You nervously walked to your seat with your heavy books in hand while your classmates watched you sit down. Your professor passed by and gave you multiple papers stapled together as your exam. You skimmed through it, and the questions were almost a big blur for you when you saw how hard you should've studied instead of fighting other criminals on a daily basis. You held your mechanical pencil tight, wondering what to write while your other classmates were all silent and focused on the exams, unlike you, who had no idea. You wrote down what you knew, but you still felt anxious. You really didn't want to fail this exam; it could be your last before you would have to move to another school. You liked that option, but your parents worked too hard, climbing the ranks so you could have an easier life once you passed your exams. Since when was life decided by a piece of paper?

Minutes into the exam, suddenly, you heard a loud explosion near the back of your school. It was muffled through the thick walls, yet it was obvious something dangerous had happened. Your spider senses tingled, and you lifted your head abruptly while your class looked around, wondering what that could be while the teacher noticed their confused and worried expressions.

"Everyone calm down! Form a line and carefully leave the school through the front," your professor ordered, yet most students had already started running out of the classroom, ignoring her orders.

You quickly ran out too, pushing past the rest of the students while you navigated back to your locker. You grabbed your bag from inside and forgot to close it, prioritizing the situation at hand as you went to the bathroom.

"Guess I have to do my job again," you sighed while you quickly locked the toilet stall. You opened your bag, your spider suit folded neatly and tucked between your other textbooks inside. You took off your uniform, changing into the tight spider suit swiftly. You made sure to keep your mask securely on; protecting your identity was the most important part of it.

Finally dressed for battle and your bag slung on your back, you climbed out through the restroom's window, flicking multiple webs out of your fingertips. They swiftly stuck to one of the school's large pillars, and they allowed you to swing away quickly. You swung from building to building easily, reaching the back of the school to see seven vehicles crash together, causing a fire to spread throughout the school's background. Multiple police cars and ambulances were parked nearby, with the paramedics taking as many victims as they could on stretchers and transporting them to the ambulance crew.

You saw many policemen trying to save the injured under the rubble and from the fire as well. You knew they could get in the way of your job, so you created a diversion. You shot a web inside the policeman's car, the sticky string immediately reaching and pressing on the accelerator as it slowly moved forward, catching their attention.

"Woah—woah, woah—hey!!" one of them hollered, trying to reach the advancing car alongside his other colleagues. It gave you enough time to reach the exploded area with your webs.

"This is a whole mess," you mumbled to yourself under your mask as you reached another building's wall. You quickly climbed higher and swiftly shot individual webbing from your fingertips, each web reaching pieces of heavy debris on top of the injured. You held and wrapped all five webs around your palm, pulling the rubble off of the victims with your bare hand as your webs carried them to the side.

The concerned police officers ran to the injured with paramedics, yet the fire persisted, causing another explosion near the colliding cars. You were thinking of a plan to somehow save all of these people while you internally grew more anxious.

"What the hell is causing these explosions?" You grunted, frustrated. You loathed seeing people get injured while you tried to think of something. You jumped from the high wall, plunging down as you shot webs toward the heavily injured near the fire. You pulled them close, carrying more than three people while their blood smeared on your spider suit.

You quickly rested their bodies near where the ambulances could see them before you swung back to the high roof of the building. Your spider senses suddenly tingled before you turned around. On the building's edge, you saw the villain behind it all.

"Who the hell is this guy?" You said, looking down to the edge, and saw a lizard... or a goblin? You didn't know. You shot webs once more in its direction, propelling yourself up before you landed a harsh kick in its face. It let out a loud grunt as saliva was knocked out of his mouth. You sent him flying to another building's wall before he collapsed on the ground.

You walked over to it cautiously, a foot on his chest as you stepped on it harder. You glared down at him, looking down at a vile creature who hurt your people. It coughed, its vision blurry before it looked up to you, it started chuckling with your foot on his scales. "We meet again Peter," it said, smirking.

"Who the hell is Peter?" You retorted, raising an eyebrow behind your mask while it looked at you as if you were playing with his head.

"Oh, don't lie now, Peter... I know all about—" The vile lizard was about to continue, but it was cut off when it saw your features more clearly. You had more of a feminine body. Your muscles weren't as built, but you were strong enough to consider its enemy, like Peter. You had bigger hips and smaller shoulders than a man. Not to mention the obvious, your suit wasn't one it recognized. Its expression turned from smug to confused. You weren't the Peter it knew.

With rage blinding its confusion, it growled and grabbed your ankle with its large clawed hand, pulling your foot off its chest as it caused you to almost lose balance.

"Who are you?" It glared, looking at you with disdain and anger. You, on the other hand, were confused about why it didn't know you when you were literally the spider-woman.

"I'm spider-woman? The hero?" You rhetorically responded before it sneered and tossed you to the side of the building. You reacted quickly as you shot webs at its face, blinding it and pulling on the webs before you could hit the wall with its heavy weight. You adroitly landed on the floor again.

"Okay, dude—that's not nice," you pout under your mask while it growled in frustration when your webs blinded its field of vision. The creature almost tore off its eyes, in an attempt to take the sticky web off its face while it bled. The oversized lizard was raging mad before it charged toward you at full speed. You were about to swing burning wreckage to its face with your webs before a sudden brightness appeared from above.

You both looked up in confusion before you suddenly saw a red web hastily tie your green rival into scarlet webbing. It came out of what seemed to be a bright light formed with hexagons while it glitched. You haven't seen anything like it, thinking it could be another threat. "Argh!!!" The creature thundered before you saw what seemed to be another spider-man go through the portal. He promptly punched the lizard's head, blood coming out of its mouth, before it crashed into another building's wall.

The mysterious man stood up once he apprehended the green goblin with his webs. He tied it with his webs effortlessly while you approached him, his head slightly turning to look at you.

"So, like, who are you?" You asked, putting a hand on your hip before he turned around to fully face you.

"Classified," He spoke with a low tone, keeping it short and cold. You hummed, thinking of who he could be.

"You Peter? That green, uh, creature was looking after Peter or something. I don't know," you shrugged while the man was still silent, like he was judging you secretly with that glare.

You cleared your throat, a bit uncomfortable that he wasn't responding to your question. "Well, anyway, gotta deal with the fire and stuff. Gotta go blue panther." You were about to walk to the fire, mostly to save more victims before he stepped in front of you.

"It's alright, kid. I'll take it from here." He responded, his tone still cold, while his hand was slightly raised, telling you to stand down. Your spider senses tingled after he said that. You looked up behind him as you saw the green goblin manage to escape his webbing and cause more havoc behind the tall, muscular spider-man. In a fit of rage, the creature threw a burning truck in your direction.

"Oh, shit—look out!" You yelled, shooting a web at the spider-man's chest before pulling him away from the landing truck. You quickly moved away as well, but suddenly hissed in pain and fell near the fire. You groaned when you saw your burned forearm and noticed that your spider-suit was covered in cinders after smelling something burning.

"Puta madre--!" the spider-man growled before claws started to grow out of his hands. With animalistic ferocity, he chased after the goblin, shooting a web on his way to get to him faster. His speed never slowed down as his legs ran faster and faster, almost like a car on a highway.

Meanwhile, you winced when you pushed yourself up before your senses started to go haywire again. You turned around and saw more people in the burning debris while firefighters arrived and started to put out the flames. You hastily followed the spider-man from before by crawling up on top of a very tall building. Your eyes quickly scanned the area, searching for him. You spotted the lizard causing more trouble as it climbed up the building in front of you. His claws dug into the wall, causing more debris to fall, almost hitting more pedestrians. The other spider-man turned his head around, watching as the debris started to rain down on the citizens. He was so conflicted; he was so close to catching the goblin, yet the civilians were in danger.

"Fuck!" The man cursed, shooting a web to catch the debris, yet he failed. He grunted, turning his attention back to his target. He continued to chase the green goblin. You, on the other hand, thought fast and jumped down while shooting multiple webs to make a gigantic spider web to catch all the falling debris. Your webbing was strong enough to carry the heavy rubble and the burning damage before it could hit the others. Once you were sure it was holding everything in place, you shot another web, swinging yourself to the injured, who couldn't move. You picked them up— two on your back and one in your arms. They were barely alive when you gently laid them down somewhere more safe.

Your head lifted when you heard a cry. "M-Mama! Please! Help!!" A child screamed while you put all the victims away near the policemen. You turned your head back, realizing one of them was still stuck in the fire. You didn't hesitate to run back, propelling yourself into the air to see where the kid could be. You then saw her crawling up into a ball, a toy in her arms, while she looked around with tears in her eyes, afraid of the fire. She coughed profusely, almost running out of oxygen, while tears prickled her eyes. Even with the burnt forearm, you quickly and nimbly landed in front of her, picking her up easily while she didn't know what was happening. Yet she held onto you tighter than her toy. You shot another web at a building, pulling the two of you up before swinging away to where it was safe.

When you slowly descended to the ground with the child hugging your neck tightly, you saw a weeping woman on the ground with multiple injuries. Your eyes softened, worried behind your mask. You looked back at the kid, noticing she looked like she could be her child. You approached her. "Ma'am," you called out to her, getting her attention before you put down the kid in front of her. She gasped and brought her into her arms, pulling her into a very tight hug while they both wept.

"Thank you," the woman whimpered before looking up at your masked face. "Thank you for saving all of us." She smiled while sobbing, looking around at the people you saved. Even though they were injured, you managed to save all of them. You nodded your head, smiling behind your mask as you flashed her a thumbs-up.

You heard a thump behind you, hinting that the tall spider-man was behind you before you turned around to see him holding the green lizard with his red webs. "Hey," you said, looking up to him. "Caught the lizard?" As you chuckled, you noticed that he still had that unfazed look on his face. It seemed like he was trying to put up a brave front in front of the crowd. After a brief pause, he cleared his throat before responding.

"Follow me," he ordered with a reserved tone as he shot a web and pulled himself up to a very tall skyscraper. You followed behind him, the wind blowing into your face before you landed gracefully on top of the skyscraper.

There, you saw him tap on something on his wrist before another portal opened, the same bright orange hexagons forming the strange entrance while they rotated slowly. Your eyes squinted from how bright it was, while he still had the same expression as before. He got ready to throw the lizard into the portal, while it struggled and squirmed under his tight webs. "This is not the last time you'll see me, Peter!" It yelled, glaring daggers at you and the tall spider-man, until he was thrown into the portal. It created a short blast before the portal returned to normal.

You were quiet for a bit, not knowing what to say. He then turned around to face you, the portal closing very slowly while he approached you. "I'm from another dimension," he admitted while you gasped dramatically, knowing the obvious.

"You are.?! Woahhhhh.." Your eyes were wide behind your mask. He glared at your sarcasm, crossing his arms as it showed his muscles behind the tight suit.

"Take this seriously, chiquilla," he monotonously replied before clearing his throat and looking away. There was a small pause before he spoke. "You showed great abilities when you saved all those people." As soon as you received the compliment, his eyes shifted back to you while yours lit up with joy. It felt like you were a kid again, basking in the glory of a teacher's praise for acing a test.

He didn't say anything else. He looked down at his hand and slowly formed a fist. You watched him, wondering what he'd be doing. You tilted your head to the side, trying to see what was in his palm when it slowly opened. After a few more moments, he opened his fist.

"A watch?" You looked confusedly before he tossed it to you; you easily caught it, observing it. "What the hell is this for?" You asked, looking back at him. You finally noticed that it was the same watch he had on his wrist.

"You'll feel more at home," he responded stoically. He took the watch and helped you put it on properly. "... and we can use the help," he said.

"Who's we?" You asked, bewildered, becoming more baffled than ever. You'll feel more at home, he said. What did that even mean? You took off your mask, getting a clearer view of him, as you had a concerned face. "Who even are you?" You replied like you were annoyed for not knowing the entire truth.

His mask slowly distorted into pixels as it showed his face. "Miguel O'hara." He simply responded, looking down at you with his intimidating, tired brown eyes. He then slowly turned around, walking to the portal that hadn't been closed yet. You watched him enter the bright hexagons before you watched him disappear in front of your eyes.

You gripped the watch tightly.

𝕾𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄.

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fairyhaos · 1 year ago

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. ˚ as long as you're okay

requested by anon: "do you think you could do a cheol or dino version of the comforting seungkwan fic you did ? it was such a nice read"

pairing: dino x gn!reader

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship

word count: 2148

warnings: curse words, pet names (love, baby), descriptions of a breakdown

summary: it's the day of exam results release, and you're beginning to have doubts. but luckily, your boyfriend is there for you and more than ready to reassure you.

"I'm fucked. I'm actually so, so fucked. I can't remember any of the paper, can't remember how any of it went, can't remember what even happened in that exam hall! I think I did a Wonwoo and blacked out during the exam. This is terrible. I'm so fucked."

You're standing there wringing your hands in the dining room, while Chan is trying to peacefully eat his lunch. Unsuccessfully, really, given that you're complaining, incredibly loudly, because you're going to have to leave the apartment soon to go and pick up your exam results. And you kind of really, really don't want to.

Chan looks up from his food, eyeing you as you shake your fists some more, friendship bracelets on your wrists rattling together.

"How come you’re wearing all the bracelets the other hyungs made for you and not the ones I did?" is all he says, squinting down suspiciously at a piece of lettuce in his salad.

"What?" You look down at your wrists, where Soonyoung's bright orange beaded bracelet is next to the pastel creation that Jeonghan made you, along with the multiple from Seokmin and Joshua. You shake your head. "That’s because you never made me any! Chan, are you even listening to me?"

Chan just looks you right in the eye as he stuffs the leaf into his mouth. "Are you even listening to yourself?"

That makes you whine, stomping your feet a little petulantly. You look like a child having a tantrum, but it's all to cover up the fact that you are genuinely incredibly nervous.

"What if I failed?" you fret. "Chan, what if I failed really badly?"

"Then, we’ll just have to accept it," he says simply. He pushes away his wilting salad, unwilling to eat it anymore and unable to eat because of your distractions. "All you can do is your best, and if that's what happened when you tried your best, then there's nothing you can do."

You pout, crossing your arms. “You really are no help.”

There's a pause, and he looks at you, your stiff frame and trembling shoulders and he just sighs sympathetically, standing up from the chair and wrapping you in his arms. You stand stiffly, unwilling to yield, mildly upset at him for his horrible advice. He rocks you from side to side anyway, unfazed, cradling the back of your head.

"My lovely Y/N," he says softly. "I really don't know what else to say. If you fail, then that's okay. I'll support you. I'll help you. And if you did well, which I'm sure you did, then that's wonderful. I'll support you then too."

He pulls away slightly so he can look at you, nudging his nose against yours. He's looking at you intently, even as you try to keep the mild disappointment in your gaze as you look back. Sighing again, he shakes his head, leaning forward so your foreheads are touching.

"You're going to do fine. Absolutely brilliantly. You know how Wonwoo hyung is: the tests he remembers the least are the ones he did the best in."

That makes you smile a little, finally getting the encouragement you wanted.

"See, that's all you had to say," you say, leaning in to hug him fully, and his arms are wrapped around you once more and his hand has protectively come up to the back of your head, cradling you gently.

Chan chuckles, pulling away to look at you. "Really? Was that it?"

You hum, nodding. "Mhm. What can I say, I'm a simple person."

He laughs properly at that, pulling away and kissing you on the top of your hair. "Perhaps. But you better go now, if you want to go get your results. You're going to be late otherwise."

Your eyes widen as you look at the time. "Oh my god, you're right." You lean forwards to peck Chan quickly on the lips before rushing into the hallway. "You're crazy if you think I'm going to open them before I get home though!" you call out, and Chan wanders into the hall to smile as you tug on your shoes.

“You better not. I wanna scream over your results with you.” He grins. “Your results which are going to be great and will show you passed with flying colours, of course.”

You laugh, and the sound is high-pitched and a little wobbly with nerves, but at least you’re able to laugh. “We can only hope.”

Chan leans in and gives you another tight hug once again, and smiles at you so sweetly and lovingly that it's actually a little overwhelming. "Good luck, love. I know you'll do well."

Opening the door, you smile back at him, giving a small wave. "Thank you, babe."

And then the door closes, and you're gone. Chan stares at the door for another moment, before retreating down the hallway again and going back to his wilted lunch.

————————————— 📄

There’s a clattering sound of you getting out your keys and unlocking the door, and Chan looks up from where he's on his phone on the sofa. He's been waiting for you, because duh, of course he has, and he gets up and walks out to greet you, but the smile dies from his face when he sees your expression.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?”

You’re clutching the envelope that holds your certificate with your results on it, and it’s clear you’re trying not to hold it so hard that the paper wrinkles, but your shoulders are shaking and you look… well, you look terrified.

“Y/N?” he asks, tone infinitely more concerned. “Here, let’s take your shoes off, love.” He bends down, untying your shoelaces for you, praising you almost without thinking when you take them off. Then he stands back up, sees your face again, and his eyes widen.

“Chan…”

“You’re crying.” He blinks, eyes widening even further when the tears well faster in your eyes, spilling over. “Hey, love, why are we crying?”

You can’t answer, bringing a hand to your face, trying to stem the tears before they dissolve into sobs, and he’s stepping forwards again, hugging you to him, arms around you. You’re still holding onto the envelope, still making sure not to crinkle it, but right now Chan couldn’t care less about a piece of paper when you’re here, crying, in his arms.

It takes a little manoeuvring, but he takes off your coat and, still with his arms around you, leads you into the living room, collapsing onto the sofa with you in his lap.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, even though he thinks he might know. He rubs your back, soothing, as you cry quietly into the fabric of his shirt, the envelope abandoned on the coffee table. “Why are you crying, love?”

You take a deep breath, attempting to speak, before getting choked by a sob and burying your head further into his shoulder.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Chan murmurs, and you make a small, broken sound that makes his heart clench. “I’m here, it’s okay, you’re okay. You’re okay, love, everything is okay.”

“N—No,” you manage to stutter out, wet and helpless, “it’s not. Everything is—is not okay.”

He makes a sad noise at that, one hand still rubbing big, slow circles on your back, the other cradling the back of your head and hugging you close. “Why do you think that?” he asks gently. “What’s making you feel that way?”

“E—everyone,” you sob, and begin to cry even harder into him, your entire frame shuddering, and you sound so devastated that Chan just wants to make all of your pain disappear immediately. “Everyone is m—making me feel like things are not okay.”

“Even me?”

You can’t answer, dissolving into tears yet again.

He takes a breath, his own breathing a little shaky. He hates hearing you cry, hates seeing you so upset, and right now he’s fighting back his own tears, wanting to make you feel better instead of just sobbing with you. “Don’t listen to them, baby,” he says, resting his cheek against the top of your head. “You haven’t even looked at the results yet, how can you trust what they’re saying?”

“There were others and—and they opened theirs right there, a—and I don’t think I did—I don’t think I did as well as them,” you say, and now the crying is getting worse, your breaths coming out all quick and panicky, and you’re shuddering so hard that it’s like you're going to break in two.

“Hey, hey. Y/N, look at me. Come on, love, look at me.” Chan tilts your chin upwards, hand cradling your cheek, and your face is wet with tears but he just stares you straight in the eyes, ignoring the way his own vision is blurring. “Do these people—no, baby, look at me, please—do these people really matter to you?”

You hiccup a sob, blinking your eyes rapidly, and he still has one hand on your back, the other gently wiping your own tears.

“Are these people really that important to you? Do you care about them so much that what they do is crucial to you?”

You jerkily shake your head. “N—no.”

“And,” he carries on, “Do they care about you this much too? Do they genuinely care about how well you did?”

You shake your head again.

“Exactly.” Chan smiles softly. “Their opinions are worthless. How well they did is worthless. For me, and for you, the only important thing is how well you did in comparison to yourself.”

“T—That—” You breathe in shakily again, tears falling faster— “That doesn’t even make sense.”

He can’t help but laugh, just a little, even as your face crumples as you cry even more, curling up even smaller in his lap, burying your head back into his shoulder once more.

“Don’t worry about how other people did,” he says, wrapping his arms more securely around you, keeping you cocooned in his embrace. “You did your best, Y/N, and I can personally vouch for that. I mean, how many days were I deprived of kisses because you were too busy studying? How much did I sacrifice so that you could revise without interruption?”

You chuckle, watery and a little deranged, sounding like you’re hanging on by a thread, and he just hugs you tighter.

“You have done,” Chan begins, “so so well already. I know it. I’ve seen it. This piece of paper? This just tells you what you already know. It’s going to tell you what I’ve already told you, and that’s it. Don’t base your worth on this, because you are so much more than a number and a grade.”

That causes another sad noise to be pulled out of you, touched beyond belief, but Chan doesn’t say anything else, burying his face into your hair, blinking away his own tears as he holds you through your own.

Several minutes pass, just like that, and he whispers soothing, nonsensical noises, arms tight around you, thumbs rubbing soft patterns into your skin. It takes a while, a long while, for you to eventually calm down, but he just holds you through it all, murmuring that it’s okay and that you’re okay and that he loves you, loves you so, so much.

You’re still breathing shakily, but they’re big, shuddering breaths now, and you sound calmer, resting against his chest, head tucked under his chin.

“How are you feeling?” he asks, gentle.

“Hmm. ‘m sorry.”

Chan blinks, hands pausing in their movements. “Sorry for what, love?”

“For… I don’t know. For breaking down like this, I guess.” You rub your nose, and it’s evident that you’re a little embarrassed for just crying like that, and Chan thinks his heart dips a little at that thought.

“No, gosh, there’s no need to apologise at all! It’s okay. I’m here to help you, aren’t I? It’s one of the things I’m meant to do, baby. I just want you to feel better.” He pauses. “You do feel better, right?” he checks.

You laugh a little, quiet and watery. “Yeah, I do. I feel better.”

He hums happily, hugging you tighter. “That’s good.”

There’s a beat.

“Do you wanna look at your results now?” he asks, looking down at you. You shake your head, eyes fixed on some random point on his shoulder, still blinking away the remnants of tears. “That’s okay.”

Fondly, Chan brings up a hand to your face, wiping away your tears with his thumb, before leaning in to press a light kiss to your cheek. Your cheeks are still wet, a little sticky, but he doesn’t care. The shoulder of his shirt is also in a similar state, anyway. It doesn’t really matter.

He rests his chin on your head again, rocking you from side to side affectionately, humming a tuneless melody, rubbing your arm comfortingly.

“As long as you’re okay.”

fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @thedensworld @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt

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imaginarylungfish · 4 months ago

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my thoughts on the end of mha

i've had a few weeks to process the ending of mha now. when i first heard there were only 5 chapters left, i was shocked. i thought when hori said he had more story to tell, we were gonna get like 10 more chapters or something. so yeah, i felt like i got some whiplash there.

but after i had some time to recover from my shock, i got sad. this manga has brightened many a sunday for me. sure, i understand the criticism of the final war arc, but i can't say i was ever bored. i always wanted to know what was happening next.

and while i was sad the villains didn't live/we didn't see a rehab arc for them nor did we see much emotional processing by certain characters after the war, i understand this manga couldn't go on forever to adequately tackle all those stories. that's what fics are for, i guess.

izuku's ending

a really big thing i liked about the ending was izuku becoming quirkless again. that's what i wanted. i have some gripes with the execution, though. it was weird that izuku didn't show any emotion about losing ofa except in the battle. i still think that was a bit of a fumble on hori's part. you're telling me the kid who cries about everything wouldn't cry about losing something that let him live his dream? just seemed ooc.

but anyway, izuku ending as a quirkless hero was exactly what i wanted. that's exactly the way to conclude his whole arc. however, unless you fill in the blanks with headcanons, the impact of that arc is a bit lost on the reader. do we see izuku's acceptance of his inherent worthiness of being a hero (due to his unwavering spirit rather than the need for a quirk)? we don't. do we see society's acceptance of quirkless people as inherently equal to people with quirks? we don't. we must fill in the blanks ourselves. and i just don't think that type of fill-in-the-blank should happen. we should get that from the mangaka.

i also found it weird that izuku became a teacher at ua and then a quirkless hero. i understand there was some fun shock value/bait-and-switch to this little plot point (which i have to admit was amusing). but it kind of just didn't make narrative sense to me once i had my little laugh. like, pick one, hori. does izuku lose his quirk and become a ua teacher or does he lose his quirk and become a quirkless hero? having both muddies the waters.

we knew mha was going to end in a hopeful way. that's what this manga was about. it was all about trying and pushing past limits to succeed, despite the odds. i knew it wasn't going to end with izuku being depressed or anything. he was going to be happy in the end, whether he ended up as a quirkless teacher or quirkless hero because that's just who he is--he doesn't give up. so, i wish that was more of the focus of the last chapters since izuku is the protag after all. but i got the big thing i wanted (which is more than some others can say), so i can't complain too much.

katsuki's ending

i'm actually really satisfied with kastuki's ending (and his whole character arc, honestly). katsuki's whole thing was that he felt inferior to izuku his entire life because of izuku's innate heroism. so, katsuki bullied izuku to make himself feel better since katsuki always felt like he needed to be the best. but slowly, we see katsuki's worldview change as he enters ua high, fails the provisional licensing exam, and sees izuku's continued mastery of his quirks.

throughout the manga, katsuki has to grow up and mature. he has to realize that while he was born with something that makes him a great hero (his quirk), that's not all that it takes to be a great hero. and in fact, izuku has the other part (empathy and determination).

katsuki learns how to be more of a team player and less self-centered. he balances out his need to win and be the best with including others in his thought processes. enough so that he sacrifices himself for izuku, apologies to izuku, and gives izuku the final push in the war.

katsuki shows emotional growth and maturity throughout the manga which i think culminates not only in the final chapter but also in his reaction to hearing the news that izuku lost ofa. his show of emotion is big for him since we know this is not something he normally does. (i still can't believe we saw katsuki of all people cry after the war, but not izuku. ugh, i'll forever be salty about that.)

it's made clear in the final chapters through his words and actions that katsuki cares about izuku. he not only verbally expresses to izuku that he is sad they can't compete anymore, but he also checks in with izuku about how much of ofa he still has, and ultimately, works to get izuku's dream back. if that ain't redemption, i don't know what is.

so with one of the last panels of the manga being katsuki reaching out his hand to izuku (!!!), calling him deku to reinforce izuku's heroism? what a great conclusion. i am satisfied. thanks, hori.

(plus, there were no canon ships which i'm happy about. that's something that i'm glad hori left up to interpretation. now, we can all go read fics with our favorite ships without too much retconning. i think we all won in that regard.)

shoto's ending

i love shoto, so i will always want more of him. but i think that's exactly why i'm fine with his ending. i don't see it like an ending. it's a start for him. he finally gets to be himself, to be shoto. sure, he still probably has a long way to go in terms of getting over his family trauma, but throughout the manga, i think we get to see his growth in that regard which culminates with his battle with dabi and subsequent aftermath.

his story was always tied to his family's story, which made him a complex character. and while i can't say i loved everything that hori did with the todoroki family, i do like what he did for shoto individually.

i will always love shoto's thoughts during his fight with dabi. i think it exemplified his character growth. he was such an angry, cold teen when he entered ua. but he learned how to make friends, accept his trauma, and become his own person. throughout the manga, he learns how to interact with others in the way he wants. despite his treatment as a child (ie. abuse), he decides to reconnect with his mom and work with endeavor. but the main thing is that he chooses it. he gets to dictate what he does now. that's huge for him.

i particularly loved the scene where shoto says he just wants to talk with dabi/touya during their fight. it reminded me of a little kid who just wants to get to know his big brother. but also it showed the maturity shoto gained throughout the story. instead of avoiding things like he originally did at the beginning of the manga, he wants to face them head-on. he has learned talking with others and gaining new perspectives is helpful and that arguments, even though unpleasant, can be productive.

and like i said before, i have some gripe with how some pieces of the todoroki family arc ended. however, i was satisfied with shoto's ending. i loved the "favorite food convo" callback. touya's response was hopeful yet heartbreaking at the same time.

i do wish izuku and shoto talked after the war because i just think izuku would want to know how shoto's doing instead of whatever the fuck this was:

but again, overall i am satisfied.

ok i'm going to stop writing now. i already wrote more than i thought i would (and even added panels). i do have thoughts on ochaco's ending and other random things, but i think that's a post for a another day. i did the main three and that's good enough for now.

overall, i was satisfied with the ending of mha, especially after looking back on it with all pieces put together. the story impacted me in more ways than one and i look forward to re-reading and learning more in the future!

#mha appreciation post #mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha meta #bnha meta #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #mha ending #bnha ending #deku #katsuki bakugo #bakugo katsuki #dynamight #shoto todoroki #todoroki

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gyubaseone · 2 years ago

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park gunwook. truth or dare?

❛ i dare you to take me out on a date ❜

pairing — park gunwook x f!reader

genre — fluff, bestfriends to lovers!

synopsis — a game of truth or dare sparks out of boredom which leads to a confession.

warnings — none! lowercase intended, third person pov, not proofread <3 also mentions of gyuvin !

word count — 1,590

notes — it's been so long since i posted 😵‍💫 but i hope to be back and uploading another imagine/reaction soon! thank you all for your support <3

★ ( please fill out this form to be on my taglist ) ❕

the room was silent, well not fully. all y/n could hear was the tapping and constant sighs coming from her bestfriend ; park gunwook.

the two had been sucked into studying since the college entrance exam was coming up and both their parents had been scolding them for fooling around too much. so that's the story, why they were sitting in the library "studying" when in reality, neither were really studying.

they just constant threw glances at one another, waiting for the other to speak up so they could leave. but it was just silence.

gunwook had yawned about ten times in the last five minutes, stretching his arms out as a signal that he was done with studying and wanted to get out of there.

did y/n see those signals? yes. did she really pay attention to them? nope. y/n just stared at her open textbook that was collecting dust even though her brain had fully stopped the moment she opened it.

she didn't want to give gunwook any attention, more than she already had at least. because the truth was — y/n had garnered a tiny attraction towards her best friend.

it was unexpected really, y/n had always been asked if the two were more than friends because of how close they were but she had never thought anything of it until recently.

there was just those small moments where y/n felt like they were the only people in the room, just by looking at each other. despite this, she was almost sure that gunwook did not reciprocate her feelings and decided to just avoid them as much as possible.

"psssst, ms. y/n," gunwook called out in a low whisper, his head basically on the table as he kept moving closer to y/n to get her attention, "y/n.... l/n y/n... girl who almost failed her—"

"what.. do you want, gunwook," y/n asked frustratedly, turning her head to look at him but found herself looking into his eyes again.

she quickly blinked multiple times, bringing her attention back to the textbook in front of her, "i'm trying to study, what?"

"i think we both know you aren't studying," gunwook refuted, "you've been on the same page for the past ten minutes. please, i'm bored!"

"well, we can't go home now or else our parents will just nag us about not studying again," y/n commented, letting out a sigh, "how about a short game of truth or dare?"

"that sounds fun, alright! truth or dare?" gunwook questioned, adjusting his posture so now he was sitting up.

"truth," y/n responded, shifting her sitting position so that she was looking at gunwook now.

"boo, that's boring!" gunwook complained, taking a pause to think of a question, "have you ever cheated on a test?"

"and you call me the boring one?" y/n scoffed, "of course i haven't! if my parents found out i ever cheated, they would send me to a boarding school.."

"true.. okay, my turn. i pick dare!" gunwook added, grasping his hands together, "and make it interesting at least."

"i dare you... to get table and yell something," y/n put together, a smug smile plastered on her face.

"really?" gunwook blinked, an unsure feeling in his stomach, "you want me.. to do that?"

"why, are you scared?" y/n teased, raising an eyebrow as she leaned back to relax.

"who, me? no way!" gunwook said, sounding confident but was nervous on the inside. he proceeded to get up from his seat, climbing onto the table by putting his feet on the chair.

as gunwook took a deep breath, he spotted a librarian heading towards their table with an annoyed look on her face. "yeah, i can't do this... gotta go!" he announced as he jumped off the table, gathering his stuff before the librarian could get to the table.

"hey, wait for me!" y/n yelled, quickly grabbing her books off the table while gunwook began speed walking towards the exit. "park gunwook!"

the two had found themselves at their usual convenience store by the library which they always went to after their study sessions to charge back up before heading home.

"your such a scaredy cat," y/n dissed, "the librarian was like ten feet away, you had time!"

"hey, i have a reputation here!" gunwook defended himself, "class president can't be kicked out of the library for doing a dare."

"yeah, whatever.." y/n rolled her eyes, "i get to give you another dare since you failed to complete your last dare, deal?"

"fine, that works. nothing could be as bad as that last dare," gunwook agreed, letting out a sigh as he picked up a pack of gummies from the shelf.

"mmm, buy my snacks for me!" y/n asserted, "i used up all my pocket money anyways, i need you to pay."

"nothing new... nothing new," gunwook sighed, shaking his head, "i'm gonna grab a latte from the cooler, do you want one?"

"of course i do~" y/n gave him a thumbs up, turning back to the aisle of chips in front of her, "now... which chips do i want?"

after gunwook completed his dare; paying for all the snacks the two bought, they headed out to the patio area since their parents wouldn't be too happy if they went home early.

so they sat on the patio, their open bags of snacks scattered across the tiny table.

"okay! your turn again, truth or dare?" gunwook asked, plopping a gummy bear into his mouth.

"i'll go with.. truth," y/n responded, hearing gunwook groan at her answer.

"your so boring! why do you keep picking dare.." gunwook muttered, falling into silence as he tried to think of a question to ask.

"do you have a crush on someone?" he spoke, catching y/n by surprise as her eyes widened, "you do, don't you! who is it, do i know them?"

"that's not part of the question!" y/n countered, shaking her head.

her lip quivered, unsure of what to say next. was she really about to reveal that she had a crush to the person she had a crush on? "fine, i do have a crush on someone."

"i knew it! you've been acting strange recently, tell me who it is! please~" gunwook put his hands together as he begged, "you never tell me who your crushes are."

"oops sorry, only one question per round!" y/n excused, quickly moving onto the next round, "your turn, truth or dare?"

"since you keep chosing truth, i will too."

"do you have a crush on anyone?"

as y/n spoke, she genuinely wondered where she had garnered the courage to even ask that question. gunwook's giddy expression changed to panic and surprise only made it worse.

maybe there was just a small ounce of hope in y/n that he would have a crush; and it would be her.

"a... a crush?" gunwook repeated, stammering, "do i have a crush... uhm. i never really thought of it before."

that was a lie. gunwook had thought of it before, many times that is.

"i guess... there's a possibility that i do," gunwook said ambiguously, "next round!"

"okay..." y/n dragged her sentence suspiciously, "i'll choose dare so you can't ask me any more questions about my crush."

"i dare you to tell me who your crush is," gunwook uttered, watching y/n glare at him, "go ahead."

"uhm.... it's... it's... gyuvin!" y/n blurted out, instantly regretting the choice she made. out of all the people she could've said, she had to choose one of gunwook's close friends.

"kim gyuvin? the same guy who got stuck in the recycling bin?" gunwook questioned, "you have a crush on him?"

"i... i guess i do?"

"you don't sound very sure of yourself."

"this is a weird conversation, okay," y/n defended herself, the atmosphere changing in an instant as silence fell.

the only sounds that could be heard were people walking in the street as the two remained completely silent for almost a minute.

"it's kind of funny," gunwook spoke up, starting to laugh as he drank his latte, sounding defeated.

"what's funny?" y/n asked, turning to look at gunwook.

"all this time, i thought you never told me about your crushes because you had a crush on me," gunwook answered, "turns out i was delusional; and you have a crush on my friend.."

"...wait. repeat that? you have a crush on me?" y/n felt her heartbeat increase by the second when gunwook looked at her.

"uhm... that was the coffee talking," gunwook attempted to justify; failing miserably.

"y'know, you're usually a better liar than that," y/n let out a laugh, "as a person on the debate team."

"just forget i said anything, okay?" gunwook sighed, taking a deep breath, "let's get back to the game. i pick dare."

"i dare you to take me out on a date," y/n confidently dared, tilting her head to look towards gunwook with a slight smile.

"ok— wait, repeat that?" gunwook blinked, unsure of what he heard was correct.

"i guess you could say i wasn't telling the truth, but to the fair.. it was a dare," y/n looked into gunwook's eyes, "are you willing to go through with your dare?"

"that might just be the easiest dare yet," gunwook laughed, a smile spread on his face as he stared into y/n's eyes.

#zerobaseone #zb1 #zerobaseonefics #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone imagines #zb1 imagine #zb1 imagines #park gunwook #park gunwook x reader #park gunwook imagines #boys planet #boys planet imagine #gyubaseone #gyubaseone works. 🐰

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hanbindans · 2 years ago

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zerobaseone as IB students (headcanons)

some fun headcanons for my fellow students. please take these with a grain of salt, obviously I don't know them personally and these are just meant to be fun :) word count: 1.1 k (ca 140 for each) a/n: this is for a very niche target audience but it makes sense in MY head. also I have exams in less than 2 weeks so this is kind of representative of where my mind is at rn. and PSA if you're also an IB student please don't actually skip TOK <3

jiwoong

what's that?? "he's a 24 year old man, it's been years since he completed high school??" sorry I can't hear you too well I'll just go ahead and write this headcanon anyway <3

he's such a drama kid and he would take it even in IB, so theatre and korean lit would be his HLs

I feel like he would take bio and psych sl purely out of curiosity and then immediately regret it when he realizes how much content there is (but would be really good at psych)

aa sl!!! no particular reason tbh I just think he's kind of smart

doesn't understand tok. like...... at ALL. is saved by the fact that his psychology EE is pretty good because he pretty much flunks tok miserably

CAS defender because "guys it builds character I think it's great that we all do volunteer work :))" bless his heart

hanbin

7 subjects :)

is good at tok probably

genuinely puts SO much time and effort into his cas and regrets it in the end but it looks cool on his resumé

psychology and korean lit HL, probably takes VA too but maybe as sl. he gives such lit vibes I feel like he would totally be a literature kid

chinese ab!!!! and maybe ESS because he can and doesn't like science <3

AI SL just because he's so social science but he gets 6s and 7s because it's too easy for him <3

basically he's all the social science subjects but because they're FUN not because they're easy :)

shares notes and study resources in the class group chat because he's cool like that

zhang hao

science kid

HL math AA, geography, and maybe chem or bio. maybe takes physics SL too.

definitely chinese lang/lit and korean ab (he could definitely do korean B but he can't be bothered)

you won't catch him anywhere without a comically large energy drink

completely numbed on the inside but also puts more effort in than everyone else and gets straight 7's

skips tok though because he can't be asked

does his EE on a very niche obsession of his and it gets a really good grade but he puts way too much effort into it

everyone wants to learn his ways but he doesn't do study groups because he gets too annoyed lmao. WILL tell juniors chatting in the library to stfu

he will complain about anything and everything any chance he gets but also catch him getting that 45 at the end of the day.

taerae

also science kid but a lot less intense

HL bio, chem, music, SL AA, korean lang/lit and japanese ab

he would complain SO MUCH about group 2 btw he's one of those science kids who really doesn't want to do 2 languages lol

really only cares about music to be honest but does the sciencey subjects because he thinks they're cool and gets pretty good grades

the type to do a hyper specific science IA and spend way too much time on it just for shits and giggles because he likes pouring things into beakers and swirling them

unintentionally does the most for his CAS, like "oh a service??? yeah I've been tutoring guitar for like 6 months does that count" and genuinely fails to see how other people struggle with it

also excells at tok, like genuinely writes an amazing philosophical TOK essay and gets full marks

ironically cares so little about IB but somehow does so well because he genuinely likes his subjects (and has an iq of like 150)

matthew

7 subjects :)

wants to do more languages than he's allowed because he's just built like that, he likes flexing his multilingualism

HL english lang/lit, french B, history. SL AA, bio, chem, psych

is annoyingly good at all his subjects like HOW are you doing all that and remembering everything?? secretly kind of a genius

does the mostest for his IAs for absolutely no reason other than he's just interested in his subjects and wants to do fun projects :)

also genuinely likes CAS for the same reason (play sports feed stray cats, what's not to like?)

super ambitious classmate who is somehow the only one still sane and always happy

encourages everyone before tests and exams like "come on guys we can do it!! :)"

ricky

this is more likely than you think like do you know how many rich international kids do IB??? in an alternate reality he's M23

visual art HL <33

probably business management HL too, but I could see him doing psych as well!! I think he'd enjoy the human relationships option

chinese lang/lit and english B because why do a bilingual diploma and struggle when you could just breeze through english B?????

AI and ESS sl because he cba, he just wants to pass fr.

to be honest he only really cares about visual art (does his EE in it and regrets it every day) and his social science a liiittle bit, other than that he's just doing exactly as much as he needs to pass

super chill classmate though like all IB kids need a Ricky in their class to humble our god complexes

gyubin

IB but because he's an exchange student :') like he didn't even know what IB was when he started it

cramming the night before tests because he can't be asked to dedicate his whole life to studying

actually the nicest classmate though

eng b HL and breezes through it

ESS and AI sl together with ricky (they sit in the back of the class and snack together <3)

also like business management/psychology or something equivalent but he's REALLY good at it and gets easy 7's?? like he will be that 1 kid who has that 1 subject that he's an absolute god at

cries every tok lesson but it's alright

favourite part is ironically CAS because he has an excuse to volunteer at dog shelters and play basketball with his friends :)

gunwook

peak IB child I bet he would take this programme for real

4 hls (economics, psychology, korean lang lit, chemistry)

I have no justification for these subjects btw I just spat out 4 that I think he would take. he definitely would do 4 HLs though because that's how he rolls

ALSO takes cas very seriously for absolutely no reason

also takes tok SUPER seriously- he will lead class discussions and get into heated debates about stupid shit like if newspeak would work in real life

AA sl and japanese ab because that's just his vibes

kind of overworked but is always helpful and shares notes with his classmates :)

does his EE in economics and ends up getting way too invested in it and becomes obsessed with economic development policies or something niche like that (nerd but affectionately <3)

very stressed and overworked but he WILL get those grades at the end of the day <33

#boys planet scenarios #boys planet imagines #zb1 #zerobaseone #boys planet headcanons #kim jiwoong #sung hanbin #zhang hao #kim taerae #seok matthew #shen ricky #kim gyuvin #park gunwook #this was purely for personal entertainment but I think it's fun so I'm posting it lol

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bnhaobservation · 5 months ago

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I just read your post about Enji’s atonement to Touya very well written and an interesting read but quick question - “the rest of his family wanted to forgive him way before he were to do something” when you say that the family was looking to forgive before he do something, so you mean they were looking to forgive Enji before he even started atoning?? Because I can see it with Fuyumi and maybe even Rei, but Shouto was not looking to forgive his father until Enji started to atone and looked to possibly forgive if Enji showed what type of father he would be!

Also I think Shouto also called Touya by his name after the reveal 🤔 oh actually I think if I remember correctly he slipped a little in the start but he also mostly called him by his name.

Thank you for enjoying my meta!

First of all a clarification.

When I said the family wanted to forgive him, I don't mean the family HAS FORGIVEN him. Their forgivance is conditional, they don't want to go back to how they were before but they're okay with giving him a chance.

Okay, so let's go through the timeline of Enji's atonement.

Around the end of September Enji has his talk with All Might. [Chap 165] According to chap 192 this is what kickstarts his idea he should atone... or, at least, that he should atone differently by how he was doing before.

This will lead him to try to approach Shouto in a manner that, I guess is different from before.

He reaches out, respects Shouto's refusal for it, tells him he's proud even if Shouto mainly used his ice and he's there because he failed his licence exam, there's no complaining but also no pressure on how he should have done this or that or that once Shouto gets his licence he should join his agency.

I'm not 100% sure about this but also Enji's speech to Shouto seems a step in his atonement path as he says he wants to make Shouto's proud, which, from my understanding, is not generally something Japanese fathers say. It's kids who've to make fathers proud and be grateful because the fathers gave them life, not the other way around.

By the end of November he's crowned Number 1 and then moves to Kyushu where he ends up fighting the high end.

While he's doing so, we learn he'll also started sending flowers to Rei and shows up to her hospital many times but she can't meet him yet and he respects this (I'm not sure if he started back then or he already did, poor Rei is a character HUGELY neglected so it can be that Rei is more willing to forgive Enji because actually there was more than just 2 months of flowers and visits)

Rei thinks this means Enji isn't leaving his past or his family behind.

As soon as Enji is back from Kyushu, Fuyumi throw a party for him and invites Natsuo and Shouto.

According to Natsuo, by this time, his mother and sister are willing to forgive him.

Shouto doesn't say he's willing to forgive him... but he makes clear he's willing to give him a chance, which is the first step on the path.

Fuyumi is touched and offers him more soba.

In the same month Enji sends plenty of texts to Shouto until Shouto replies he wants to learn flashfire fist.

After the Christmas Eve party at U.A. Shouto invites Midoriya and Bakugou to intern with him at Endeavor agency. Enji doesn't really want them but accepts to please Shouto.

On January 1st Shouto makes clear he will study under Enji but not because he's his father but because he's the Number 1 so doesn't want to be handled like a son. Enji accepts.

A week after Fuyumi invites them at a dinner.

At the end of it we get Shouto saying he doesn't know how to feel about Enji out of obligation due to how he hurt his mother... who however instead wants to forgive him, and Midoriya saying that Shouto is trying to get himself ready to forgive him.

Later the discussion about Touya also comes up.

I'll stop here.

A bit of cultural contest now.

Japan is pretty big about the need of harmoniously getting along. For all I searched about families who're victims of abuse (husbands abusing wife, parents abusing kids) but also other things abou bullying and so on, it seems one of the main goals wasn't so much to punish the culprit but to ripristinate the harmoniously getting along.

So I think in a way this too plays as a factor in why the family is the way it is.

Now what we have here?

Fuyumi ALWAYS wanted a family, so I think she always wanted to forgive him if he were to make an effort.

We don't exactly know where Rei stood before she decided she wanted to forgive him. Since Rei comes from a traditional family she was probably educated into Confucian values so she likely felt guilty for how things went wrong. She also might want to rebuld her family for her children's sake. So, even though she's still traumatized, she wants to forgive him and she might have always want to forgive him.

I tend to think Enji started sending her flowers when he decided to atone but don't we really know when he started so this might have had a longer build up or not.

Shouto doesn't really blame Enji for what he put him through even though it was traumatic, for him it was always what he did to his mother that was the worst sin. After the fight with the High End Shouto says he's not ready to forgive him... but, as Bakugo pointed out much later he doesn't say 'I'll never forgive him'. As Midoriya pointed out, Shouto wants to but he's not ready yet. Possibly he wants to for his mother and sister since they're willing to give this a try, maybe he wants to because, deep down, he'll also like to have a family. Hard to say.

The only one who states he'll never forgive Enji is Natsuo.

It's true, the fight with the High End is AFTER Enji decided to atone but... what exactly had he done that we know of by then beyond deciding to atone and sending Rei flowers?

Since Shouto claims he hadn't seen anything, I take for him he hasn't done anything.

Yet, Rei, Fuyumi and Shouto were all willing to give him a chance... Shouto's chance was likely more conditioned than the one Rei and Fuyumi were willing to give him (Shouto wants him to do something while probably Rei and Fuyumi would content themselves with Enji not doing anything bad) but still they were willing to give him one.

And having to deal with people who're willing to give you a chance makes things A LOT easier and since Enji did many things to atone in the end, it's easy to assume they will forgive him.

That's what I was trying to say, sorry if it didn't come out clear.

In regard to Shouto calling Touya with his name... Shouto alternates the two.

Post reveal, facing him, he goes for Touya, no 'Nī' (= "Brother") attached which is very rude and many won't do it even if their brother were to trying to kill them.

Then, once he's not facing him, when thinking about him or talking about him, he tends to call him 'Touya Nī' unless he's talking of him as a Villain ("Dabi's existence is my family crime").

When he faces Touya again, first he calls him 'Baka aniki' (馬鹿兄貴 “stupid brother”), then starts with 'Touya' (without 'Nī') but immediately switches to 'Dabi' and calls him as such through all the fight.

Okay, no, when Touya tells him he'll burn all Enji loves, Shouto calls him again 'Baka aniki' when he tells him he won't let him do it.

For the rest of the fight it's all Dabi.

Then after Shouto has frozen Touya and Touya has unfrozen himself, when he thinks about him he goes back to 'Touya Nī' and keeps on calling as such.

I think I didn't miss anything but I'm open to corrections if I did.

#Todoroki Enji #Ask #Todoroki Shouto #Todoroki Touya #Todoroki Rei #Todoroki Natsuo #Todoroki Fuyumi

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nysus-temple · 2 years ago

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Can I just say I'm jealous that you have multiple translations of Homer in your tongue? My first language has only one translation (well, 2 but the other is prose). For example, they translated the word which English has as resourceful or complicated or man of twists and turns, as "clever" which I don't know how to feel about. None of my friends like ancient Greek literature so you're my go to blog for this 🙈

YEAH- as much as Spanish translations aren't perfect, I guess I can't complain, since at least they're trying kfndkfdfk but I agree, "clever" wouldn't be a very correct option... Because, yeah, sure, Odysseus is clever, the thing is... NOT in the way the translators probably want to put him to be. In other words: he would be the guy at school who fails all of his exams but somehow passed the subject.

In Spanish translations one of the most used epithets for him would be "equal to Zeus in prudence" which, well, I haven't seen English-speakers talk about much. I just think it's really cool when gods are used in epithets okay !!! Like iirc Nausicaa was said "comparable to Artemis" regarding her appearance, but maybe it wasn't Nausicaa, it was Penelope, idk I don't exactly remember right now. I think these epithets are really cool because, since they're comparing to gods, they aren't used with the gods !!! Look it's just really funny when Odysseus has fucked up a couple of times but this epithet describes him as prudent lmao

I'm glad to be your go to blog for this tho !! :'0 I understand the feeling, now my closest friends listen to me rambling about Greek stuff and just. vibe. with it. because they know that i won't shut up. but this exact obsession... I would call it that way, yeah. Is hard to find.

So I'm glad that I can help with that JDKSJDK it's true that I need to get past the Byzantine Era tho, i'm very lost there regarding Greece. Being a classical philology has that screwed up thing, that you have to pretend nothing but Ancient Greece exists so HNNN....nyways, tysm for your words !!

#with me rambling towards them i mean things like #*Nysus getting up at 2:30 am*#BROOOO HEAR ME OUT WHAT IF SISYPHUS WAS ODYSSEUS' DAD #'Nysus it's 2:30 go the fuck to sleep'#answered #anon

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sheogayrath · 2 years ago

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aaaaack ack ack i'm being negative

feels so alien to me reading posts from people in their 20s yearning to get out of their parents houses. the idea of moving out is really scary to be honest. i am so reliant on my parents for so many different things. i have gotten better over the past few years but you still have to show me exactly how to do something with an amount of specificity that most people can't even provide. having a job and paying rent and paying bills, doing things with the bank. those kinds of things. the way people talk about it surely there is some information i am missing. i don't even know how to ask the right questions to get the information i need. other people telling me that everyone feels this way has stopped being reassuring and feels more like dismissal. some of this is my fault in the way that you sometimes don't feel motivated to build skills when you're young that you'll wish you have as an adult. and my parents did a fine job of raising me but i still ended up in the awful habit of fumbling for a while when presented with a task that i hate and inevitably my parents (especially often my mom) just do it for me. which feels like a really stupid thing to complain about when so many of my peers had genuinely toxic or abusive or neglectful parents but it's still something. while i'm out she sometimes cleans my room for me and empties the bin and she makes phone calls on my behalf and books doctor's appointments and drives me places because i am neglecting learning to drive, oh god, i don't want to? i don't know how? i can't? i can't tell the difference. i don't need you to yell at me but i don't need you to do it for me. i guess i just need a push. the other day she was calling the bank about something and i heard her say something about me being autistic so it's hard for me to the person on the phone and yes this literally is true but i didn't like that. excuse me calling on behalf of my fail womanchild daughter. i feel like i'm even getting a stupid fake degree for babies. this is devaluing the work i do but it's still a thought i have and i'm writing it down. of course i chose the thing that doesn't involve studying or exams. my non classmate friends are like i am so stressed because i am learning about the way the world works by reading books. i have to take a test where they ask you to recall factual information. and me? i draw pictures. the average 15 year old is more equipped to navigate the world than me. all i want to be is a person who drives and does laundry. at least when i housesat for a while i was cooking dinner for myself and washing the dishes every night. at least i know i can cook. lots of people can't cook. well that's it that the post

#mine #^vent post under the cut be warned

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areixyn-en · 4 months ago

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About Hobbies

As the hairdryer's buzzing stops, the silence of the dorm room is restored. Krishna unplugs the hairdryer, preparing to return to her room with it and a textbook she brought.

Said to be "designed with students' privacy in mind," aside from being double rooms, the dormitory of Summermist also has individual rooms inside the rooms, isolating both beds from the outside. In other words, besides your own dorm room, you also have your own room inside of said dorm room. Krishna fails to see how this is better than simply designing single rooms, but she's not complaining.

Her dorm mate, Ophelia, prefers to stay outside since she finds the rooms suffocating, but Krishna is used to studying in front of the desk in her room. Ophelia even placed two bean bags outside, although Krishna never used them.

"Krishna, don't you ever get tired of studying all day?" Beside her, Ophelia's voice breaks the room's silence.

"No," Krishna answers emotionlessly while coiling the hairdryer's cord.

"Don't you have other hobbies?"

Speaking of which, she vaguely recalls someone else also telling her to find a hobby. "No."

"Huh? Not even one?"

"There's not much I can do."

"How come? Baking, writing, drawing… There's so much to do!"

Krishna finally turns to look at Ophelia. "Are you telling a completely colorblind person to go and learn drawing?"

The room goes silent for a brief while. "Oh. Sorry," Ophelia lowers her head in guilt, "Then… What about baking? Baking is pretty fun!"

"Loss of smell and taste," Krishna answers dismissively.

"S-sorry…"

Thus, Ophelia starts listing all the hobbies she can think of. However, Krishna can always come up with a reason to refuse.

"Why doesn't anything suit your liking…?" Ophelia frowns.

"Forget it," Krishna says, about to leave.

Ophelia furrows her brows, "Is writing really out of the question? It suits you so well, though…"

If she can't even feel emotions properly, how can she write anything? "My prose will probably end up being an essay."

"What about poetry?" Ophelia suggests, "Oh, have you heard of Spirits of the Air? It's the school's poetry club. I've attended one of their classes before, and it's pretty interesting—"

"How am I supposed to write poems if I can't even write normal articles…"

"It's fine if you're not good at it, anyone can attend their classes! Besides, isn't writing also a part of future exams? This can count as practice!"

"What's the correlation between poetry clubs and writing compositions…?"

"Come on, just accompany me this once?" Ophelia pleads, expectancy shimmering in her eyes.

Krishna sighs. "But I'm in the astronomy club."

"I'm not in the poetry club, either, but they have extra courses!" Ophelia explains, "So, you can still go to the astronomy club during normal classes, and then go to the poetry club during their extra classes! They have one this Thursday after school, shall we go together?"

Having known Ophelia for so long, it isn't often that she insists so strongly about something. The last time she did something similar was probably… when she insisted she eat proper meals?

Krishna sighs again.

"…Alright."

#noxeris #summermist academy #krishna tinta sma #ophelia summers sma #archival records #.txt #oc

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legends-of-time · 9 months ago

Text

The Journey of Living at Downton

Chapter 49: August 1925

Masterlist

TW: depictions and discussions of suicide. In no way am I an expert in this matter. I tried to write it the best I could.

——

Emma quietly hums as she rocks and pats the baby in her arms after the early morning feed. Her son gurgles up at Emma as she cradles him in her arms. Emma beams at him, unable to take her eyes off him, eager to watch every action of the month-old baby.

Thankfully Patrick Owen Branson's birth had gone smoothly. After recovering from the shock of labour starting, Tom had quickly snapped into action and called for help to assist Emma up the stairs from the servant area. Thomas had swiftly appeared and the two of them got Emma up the stairs and into the car that still sat outside. After that, the birth happened quickly with Emma having the urge to push soon after they arrived at the Hospital.

Sybbie had turned 5 just over a few weeks later and happily carried around her Auntie Emma and Uncle Tom's new baby with her father anxiously following her, worried about her dropping him. Ivy has taken the role of older sister very seriously when it comes to Patrick while Michael has very little interest in his little sibling as he can't play with him so he happily runs after Teo, Robert's new puppy from Violet.

Mary is still down after what had happened at the races and with Henry. Despite her insistence that she is fine, Emma can see that she has withdrawn slightly and is not laughing as much though holding baby Patrick does bring out warm smiles from her.

Edith is also feeling a mixture of emotions. She had quietly confessed to Emma that Bertie had proposed when they had been up in London but she has not said yes yet as she hasn't confessed to him who Marigold really is. Emma hopes she'll tell him soon as she really doesn't want another Mary and Matthew situation when Matthew proposed the first time.

Rosamund has also come to stay, apparently because of a cold though Emma has her suspicions that she's hear because of Edith. Not that Emma would complain, she likes Rosamund and Edith is quite close with her aunt so it only makes sense she would have her support.

Not everyone is down in the dumps. Mr Molesley had done well in his exam and has been offered a teaching position at the local School where he'll be doing a couple of lessons a week. Whereas Mrs Patmore's new house in Houghton-Le-Skerne, a little to the north of Downton, on the border with County Durham, has already received its first guests in its function as a bed and breakfast.

——

"A house of ill repute." Emma splutters, trying not to laugh but horrendously failing.

Mary sniggers. "That's what Anna said. Of course we all feel sorry for her."

The two look at each other, trying to keep a straight face before they both splutter with laughter again as they cross the Great Hall to enter the Drawing room.

Mary had told her what Anna had told her. Sargent Willis had come round (again) to inform Mrs Patmore that her first guest had not been as respectable as she first thought. A Mr Ian McKidd and a Mrs Dorris had decided to use Mrs Patmore's bed and breakfast as a little hideaway as they ran from Mrs Dorrit's husband who's suing Mr. McKidd for damages related to adultery leading to Mrs Patmore's bed and breakfast gaining the label of a site of a house of ill repute.

Emma sniggers out a laugh as she recalls Anna's hilarious description of a shocked Mrs Patmore. Oh dear, of all the people it should happen to, it had to be the naïve and innocent cook.

Emma stops Mary at the door to the Drawing room. "Now, I know you can't help yourself, but we need to be sombre for Edith's sake, alright?"

Bertie's cousin, Peter Pelham, 6th Marquess of Hexham, had died from malaria while travelling in Tangiers late last month. This only just puts another level of strain on Bertie's proposal to Edith no doubt.

Mary rolls her eyes and huffs, "Who cares? He probably won't have a job now, my romance might not be the only one to come to an untimely end."

"Exactly what I mean, keep your gleefulness to yourself." Emma retorts as they enter the room.

——

They all have assembled ahead of dinner with the addition of Isobel. The only one missing is Edith. The mood is rather subdued.

"Poor Mr Pelham. First that terrible day at the race track, and then to hear his cousin's died." Cora says.

"It does seem very hard." Isobel agrees.

Edith walks in. Robert and Billy rise to stand next to Tom who already stands next to the settee that Emma sits on along with Cora and Mary.

"Did you get hold of him?" Emma asks her, concerned.

"Yes. He's coming tomorrow, on the first leg of his trip to Tangiers. I've asked him here." Edith replies as she moves to stand in front of them all.

"Good." Cora agrees.

"How is he?" Billy asks, concerned.

"Sad." Edith sighs. "He loved his cousin, and it was all so quick. The trouble is they've already buried him. Bertie's not sure what to do."

"Well, that's ordinary in hot countries. It won't mean any disrespect." Isobel reassures her.

"No. But should they leave him there?"

"Surely that decision is down to the new Marquess, not to Bertie?" Mary asks, her tone isn't kind, more irritated.

"Well, that's the thing. He is the new Marquess. Bertie."

There's an astonished silence after Edith's announcement as they take in the news. Emma watches in concern as Mary's face morphs from smugness to annoyed disbelief.

"Bertie Pelham is now the Marquess of Hexham?" Robert asks in a tone of utter disbelief though not out of unkindness, more shock.

"Yes."

"Nonsense. He's having you on. He'd have told you if he was the heir." Mary remarks, almost ready to laugh at the whole situation.

But Edith remains serious and cool. "He did tell me. But his cousin was in his thirties, and they all knew the girl he was going to marry."

"But that's absurd! If Bertie's a marquess, then Edith–"

"Edith would outrank us all. Yes. That's right." Robert says, interrupting Mary and starting to laugh at the whole situation.

Rosamund and Isobel join in his laugh, but Cora and Mary, like Emma, don't, though she knows Cora's reasons are more like Emma's than Mary's.

"Was he a close relation?" Emma cuts in, still surprised as well as concerned. If Edith was unsure about accepting Bertie because of Marigold, what'll this do to the situation?

"Second cousin, once removed. Nobody thought it was possible he would ever inherit. Least of all Bertie." Edith replies.

"Well, he seemed like a nice young man to me." Isobel remarks.

"And getting nicer by the minute." Rosamund quips mischievously causing her and Isobel to let out another giggle. They're having such fun over this.

"With a real love of Brancaster." Tom adds.

"Golly gum drops! What a turn-up!" Robert says gleefully.

The door opens to emit Mr Carson.

Cora takes the cue. "That's dinner." She rises to her feet. "If we're not too distracted to eat."

Isobel, Rosamund, Billy, Robert and Edith walk out first. Cora, Emma, Tom and Mary hang back.

"So we'll all bow and curtsy to Edith. You'll enjoy that, Mary." Tom quips at the disgruntled sister.

"Hardly." Mary scoffs dismissively. "And if Bertie is Lord Hexham, which I still don't believe, he won't want to marry her now."

"Careful, or people will think you're jealous, dear. We don't want that." Cora says gravely as they all file out past Mr Carson.

Emma can't but feel this'll end badly.

——

They're at their after-dinner coffee in the drawing room. Only Robert has gone to bed early again. Cora, Rosamund, Isobel and Edith sit chatting together, laughing. Emma overhears mention of poor Mrs Patmore's situation but she is absorbed in her own private conversation with Tom, Billy and Mary.

"I had a call from Henry earlier." Tom remarks.

Mary looks startled but asks softly, "Henry? Why didn't you say?"

"He's saying it now." Emma says.

"How is he?" Mary asks anxiously.

"Mourning Charlie Rogers. Missing you." Tom answers.

"You're not to ask him to come here." Mary warns him sternly.

"Suppose he just turns up?" Billy remarks, trying and failing to be subtle about it. Emma narrows her eyes at her friend.

"Don't encourage him, Billy. None of you should. I mean it. We'd be wretched long term." Mary declares.

"And you're not wretched now?" Billy asks.

Mary sighs and moves away.

"She's right about one thing, you can't encourage him." Emma says to the two men next to her.

"But you see how sad she's been." Tom argues. "I think Henry needs to come."

"I don't know..."

"Oh, come on Emma." Billy scoffs. "She just needs to see him, to realise maybe she shouldn't have ended things with him."

Emma grimaces. "I just know it'll end badly."

"How?" Her husband questions.

"This is Mary we're talking about. She doesn't like her hand being forced and asking Henry to come will rile her up further than she is already with the Bertie situation." Emma explains her thinking. "She needs to come round to it in her own time."

"You don't know that." Billy says.

Emma rather thinks she does.

——

The next morning, Emma sits on one of the red settees across from Rosamund, who's flicking through a magazine, while Robert is writing at his desk, cradling Patrick in her arms as he has a quiet snooze.

They had received good news the day before, Daisy passed every paper she had taken with high marks. Emma remembers the little girl (one she had always found quite irritating) and is amazed to see her progress.

Cora comes in. "Where is everybody?"

"Mary and Tom are agenting, Billy's at work and Edith's gone to meet Bertie's train." Emma replies as Cora moves to sit next to her, reaching over to softly stroke Patrick's cheek. "I've just come back from being outside with the children. Apparently there was some important bug excavation needing to be done in the grounds."

This causes the adults to all chuckle.

Rosamund is the first to sober up. "Are we going to talk about it? Are we really going to sit by and let this young man's family and future be put at risk from a scandal we are hiding from him?"

"I don't think she has to tell everybody, but I agree. She must tell him. Then it's his choice." Cora answers.

"I agree." Emma declares. "This is the sort of thing you really should not keep secret from your spouse."

"Isn't it up to Edith?" Robert argues.

"From what I've learnt, we really shouldn't leave it up to your daughters." Emma retorts.

Robert looks affronted at this and goes to reply but Rosamund cuts him off, "Robert is scared of Edith loosing a marriage worthy of the name because after Tony Gillingham had gone, he thought none of his daughters would make a marriage worthy of the name. Now there's a chance of one, and he can't bring himself to give it up!"

"You haven't got children. You don't understand these things." Robert retorts dismissively.

"No. I haven't had children, Robert, as you so kindly remind me, but I hope I do have a sense of decency." Rosamund cries angrily.

"How long are you planning to stay? Your cold must have cleared by now." Robert counters. Christ, the two are like children.

"Don't fight. Nothing's going to get better by you two falling out." Cora says in a sharp whisper as the door to the Library opens emitting Edith and Bertie, who walk in through the Small Library. The others rise to greet them.

Cora approaches them first. "Hello, Mr Pelham. I mean..."

"I'm going to stay Mr Pelham until the service." Bertie says, saving her the embarrassment. "But I wish you'd call me Bertie, anyway."

"Of course, hello Bertie." Emma greets warmly. "I don't believe you've met Patrick?"

"Er no." He accepts the baby, rocking him slightly and looking softly down at Patrick, who's just woken, staring at the unknown person in wonder.

"What sort of service will it be?" Robert asks.

"Not a funeral. I've decided not to disturb him." Bertie says, sounding almost choked up. Emma smiles softly as her son reaches and clasps Bertie's finger in a tight grip as if to comfort him. "I'll fetch his things and settle his debts and have a service at home to say goodbye."

"That sounds like a very good plan." Cora says.

"I hope you'll allow me to come." Edith says.

"I want you to come." Bertie says simultaneously warm and desperate.

"You remember my sister?" Robert indicates to Rosamund.

Emma takes Patrick from him so he can greet Edith's aunt properly.

Bertie walks towards the woman. "Of course. Lady Rosamund."

"This must be a strange and unsettling time for you." Rosamund says sympathetically.

"I'll say. My mother's cock-a-hoop," Bertie remarks, "but she doesn't appreciate that I was devoted to Cousin Peter."

"I'm sure she does." Cora assures him.

"Not really. Most people didn't get the point of him. He was... so delicate. But he was as kind to me as any man has ever been."

"Then how pleased he'd be to know that you're his heir." Emma says softly.

"That's so nice of you." Bertie's voice cracks as he begins crying in earnest. Edith puts a comforting hand on his arm. "Goodness. I'm afraid you've made me blub."

"Let me take you upstairs to unpack. Luncheon's not for half an hour." Edith tells him. They walk past the others and out by the other door.

Rosamund, deeply moved, turns to Robert. "And that's the man you want to trick into marriage?"

Robert lets out a huff. "I'm going for a walk." He walks out the other way.

"I agree." Cora says. "But Robert thinks Edith's had so little luck in her life."

"He can't be serious!" Emma scoffs. "Doesn't he know that she'll never be happy with such a secret dangling over her?"

"Exactly. We all know she's making a mistake." Rosamund says.

——

Bertie is more together by the time they all sit down for luncheon, attended by Mr Carson, Thomas, Mr Molesley and Andy. Isobel has joined them and Mary and Tom have returned from their agenting while Billy is still at work though had called earlier to see how Bertie is to which Emma could only tell him that he's in a bad way over his cousin.

"What was it about Tangiers that your cousin enjoyed so much?" Isobel asks Bertie as he sits next to her.

"Who knows?" Bertie replies. "He used to talk of going down to the beach and watching the young fishermen bring in the nets. How the setting sun would make the scene magical until everything was suddenly plunged into darkness."

"Goodness. How... lyrical."

"He was lyrical. He was an artist. In his heart, anyway." Bertie says with a small soft smile.

Emma grins. "I like the sound of him."

"I don't think this family can boast much in the way of artists. Although we did have an aunt who was quite good at macramé." Robert quips. Everyone chuckles politely.

Mary, however, doesn't and speaks up, after having stared at Bertie the whole time with an odd look on her face that's been unnerving Emma, "So, are you here to settle things with Edith before you leave?"

This startles everyone. Everyone either gives shocked looks or frowns in Mary's direction for her being so indelicate. Emma is in the latter category.

"Mary, please." Cora reprimands, astonished.

This doesn't deter Bertie. "I hope so. I hope we can get things settled, but I mustn't jump the gun." He gives Edith a hopeful smile.

"So, Bertie, you mentioned your mother, but what other family do you have?" Emma asks, happy to deter the conversation.

"That's it. My father's dead, obviously, there are no siblings. It's just me and Mother." Bertie answers.

"You were joking when you said she was cock-a-hoop, but she must feel a certain pride." Cora says.

"I wasn't joking," Bertie dissuades, "but judge for yourselves when you meet her."

"You talk as if we should be scared of her." Tom remarks.

"She makes Mr Squeers look like Florence Nightingale." Bertie quips. Everyone chuckles a little awkwardly. Edith looks rather alarmed. Oh, dear.

——

Later in the day, they're all gathered in the Library for tea and a puppet show. Tom and Bertie sit behind the booth and operate the puppets, one of whom is a Punch character who is whacking another character, a Policeman, with a slapstick. Billy, Mary, Emma and Edith as well as Ivy, Michael, Sybbie, George and Marigold sit lined up on low stools in front of the booth to watch the show. Nanny Jean is in the background while the other Nanny, Margaret, is in the Nursery with Patrick as he naps. Robert, Cora and Rosamund are watching from the red settees.

"Take that! And that!" Tom as Punch, in a weird, high-pitched voice cries.

"Ow!" Bertie cries as the Policeman.

"Punch is terribly fierce. I don't think he's a good model for marriage in later life." Mary remarks.

"Or relations with the law." Robert says with a chuckle.

"Take that! And that! And that!" Tom says as Punch, still dealing out blows.

"Ouch, you rascal!" Bertie's Policeman retorts.

"And that's the way to do it!" Tom makes Punch bow, and the show is over. Everyone claps and laughs.

"Very good!" Billy compliments.

"Whoo, Daddy!" Ivy cheers.

Emma laughs. To think that she herself had watched a couple of Punch and Judy shows when she was a child, over 80 years in the future, and here her children are, in the past, watching a similar show. Funny how life works and things last.

Emma then hears Mr Carson clear his throat. "Er, Mr Talbot."

Wait what?

Emma turns around just as Mary does, both in surprise and alarm. There Henry Talbot is, trailing after the butler as they both come through the Small Library.

Cora rises to greet their guest. "Hello, Mr Talbot. Mary never told me you were coming."

"I didn't know he was." Comes Mary's reply.

Neither did Emma. She gives a sharp look to both Tom and Billy, who both avoid her gaze.

Henry stays near the exit, unsure of his welcome. Mary hasn't got up from her seat. "Well, the thing is, I was driving down from Durham and I suddenly realised I'd almost be passing the gates."

How convenient...

"What were you doing in Durham?" Rosamund asks, still seated and Robert walks up to Henry.

"Oh, I was doing various car things."

"We haven't seen you since that awful day at Brooklands. I hope you're coping with it all." Robert says.

"Well, one doesn't have much choice."

Mary approaches Tom and Billy with Emma trailing after her. "Did you two know about this?" She hisses in an accusing undertone.

"I might have said that if he was coming from Durham, then he'd be driving quite close." Tom says casually.

"Don't think I'm amused! I dislike my hand being forced." Mary retorts.

"Which is exactly what I told them." Emma quips.

"No one's forcing anything." Billy argues.

"Now you're here, I hope you'll stay the night at least." Cora says to Henry, drawing their attention back to the wider conversation.

"Mary?" Henry prompts hopefully.

"Perhaps Mr Talbot is in a hurry to get home?" Mary replies coolly.

"No, no I'm not."

"It's settled then. Carson, will you please tell Mrs Hughes? And ask someone to unpack for Mr Talbot." Cora instructs. Mr Carson sketches a bow and leaves.

Emma in the meantime helps Billy and Edith as they direct the children to Nanny. It's clearly best that they evacuate the area.

"I'm afraid you've missed tea." Robert says.

"Oh, don't worry about that." Henry dismisses.

"I won't." Mary retorts, forcing a cold smile. Mary sits down on one of the red settees, pretending to be interested in a magazine.

While Henry approaches Bertie, Emma turns to Tom. "Pretty sure you and Billy have allowed Henry to make a bad miscalculation." She says as she watches how Mary is still pretending to read her magazine, but she's so nervous and upset that she opens and closes her hands convulsively, which is something they rarely see.

"Don't say that." Tom murmurs.

——

Mary comes walking up the staircase, followed by Tom and Emma.

"This is so precisely not the way to win me over!" Mary snaps.

"Mary, will you just get off your high horse?" Tom retorts as they come to a stop on the landing.

Emma winces that. She'd made the executive decision not to say anything, not wanting Mary's anger to be misplaced towards her, Emma who hadn't done anything.

Mary turns back to him angrily. "Why are you interfering?"

"Because I love you and I want you to be happy."

"Well, you've got a bloody odd way of showing it!" Mary hisses.

"Well, I take it this is me you're fighting about?" Emma turns to see Henry catching up with them.

"Yes, it is. And you can dig yourself out. Because I've had enough." Emma huffs. "With all of you."

Mary scoffs as Emma and Tom walk away, leaving her and Henry alone.

"I told you this wouldn't work." Emma murmurs to her husband.

"You're not helping!" Tom huffs.

——

Robert stands chatting to Bertie near the fireplace in the Drawing room after dinner. "How are you getting to Tangiers? Is there a boat that sails direct?"

"Actually, I'm flying. For the first bit, anyway." Bertie tells him.

Emma perks up in interest at that from where she sits in one of the chairs next to them.

"What?" Robert exclaims incredulously.

Bertie chuckles. "I know. It does seem rather daring."

"And impressive." Emma grins. She knows travel by air in this time is still rather new compared to her time.

"I do not envy you." Rosamund comments from where she sits in an armchair opposite.

"I don't know. Now the commercial airlines are starting to operate, I dare say we'll all be flying hither and thither before too long." Robert remarks.

"I rather doubt that." Rosamund says with a laugh.

Emma watches this all amusedly. "Well, I do. It's quicker and more efficient. People will want that."

On the other side of the room, Billy and Mary are having a conversation of their own. It clearly doesn't end well as Mary's then marching to the door in a huff. Henry walks out after her. Emma watches after them, worried.

——

Emma is giving Patrick the morning feed in the Nursery the next morning. The children are out with the Nannies so Emma has the room to herself for a short while.

Emma is just burping him when the quiet is disrupted by Tom angrily storming in. "I can't believe her!"

Emma helps Patrick do one last belch before pleasing him back in his cot and turns to her husband, "Tom? What's happened?"

"It's Mary. She forced Edith to tell Bertie about Marigold and now he's stormed off." Tom explains, trying to calm down but still breathing heavily out of anger.

Emma's jaw drops. "What?! Why?!"

"Henry's gone. It's all my fault, I should've stopped them from announcing it."

"Announcing what?"

"Edith has said yes to Bertie." Tom explains.

Well, that explains it all.

Emma sighs, coming over to stroke his upper arms. "It's not your fault. This is Mary we're talking about. Edith is happy, she isn't, so she's decided to be horrible."

"I know but I knew, I knew she was suspicious of Marigold. And I invited Henry over. I should've handled it better." Tom grumbles.

Emma presses her lips together, knowing any comments right now will not be helpful.

——

It's gotten worse, Bertie has now asked to be taken to the station. At the front door, a car stands ready with Andy in attendance. Emma stands with Robert and Tom as they wait for Bertie to get in, but he's walked a little way off into the park with Edith.

Tom checks his wristwatch and sighs. "He'll miss his train."

"Let him miss it. He can catch the next one." Robert remarks. "What happened?"

"Apparently, Mary forced Edith to tell him about Marigold." Emma tells him.

"I wouldn't say forced." Tom argues.

Emma rolls her eyes. "It sounds like it to me."

"How did Mary find out?" Robert questions.

"Mary is not stupid." Tom replies.

"No. And she's not always kind, either. Was it really a mistake?"

"What difference does it make?"

They carry on watching Edith and Bertie. Emma wishes it was the opposite but she doesn't blame Bertie for being upset for not being told about Marigold. It isn't long before Bertie touches his hat and moves away, leaving Edith behind.

——

Mary sits in the Estate Agent's office, waiting for Tom to start their day's work. Emma walks in with a face like a thundercloud.

Mary frowns when she sees her. "Where's Tom?"

"Trying to clean up the mess you made, but don't worry, he's failed. Bertie has left for the train, and now Edith won't be the next Marchioness of Hexham." Emma replies hotly.

Mary shrugs calmly. "Well, that's not what I wanted."

Emma narrows her eyes and scoffs. "Isn't it?"

"I still can't believe she'd never told him. How was I to know that?" Mary responds, cool as a cucumber.

"Don't play the innocent with me." Emma warns her. "You should know better."

"I didn't mean it—"

"Don't lie!" Emma shouts at her. "Not to me! You can't stop ruining things! For Edith, for yourself! God, you're a literal child who sees their sibling has a shiny new toy. You'd pull in the sky if you could! Anything to make you feel less frightened and alone!"

"You saw Henry when he was here, high-handed, bullying, unapologetic. Am I expected to lower myself to his level and be grateful I'm allowed to do so? Tom and Billy brought him here. Why are you not yelling at them?" Mary retorts, no longer acting cool and working herself up into quite a passion now.

"Trust me, they've already had a telling off but only because they really should've known what you're like. I mean, just listen to yourself. 'Lower yourself to his level'. You're not a princess in The Prisoner of Zenda!" Emma cries in disbelief.

"I thought you of all people would understand me but you're just like the rest of them." Mary snaps.

"The amount of times I've stood by you, defended you but you've taken it too far!" Emma yells again. "You ruined Edith's life today! How many lives are you going to wreck just to smother your own misery?"

"I refuse to listen!" Mary says furiously, getting up from her chair.

She tries to leave but Emma doesn't move out of her way. Instead, she stares directly into Mary's eyes and calmly states, "You're a coward, Mary. Like all bullies, you're a coward." She marches out having hopefully given Mary a lot to think about.

——

"Christ, I can't– she– urggghhh!" Emma cries, unable to form proper sentences with how angry and frustrated she is. She paces her and Tom's room while her husband sits on the bench at the end of their bed.

"I'm glad you talked to her. I might've throttled her." Tom remarks.

"Don't put yourself down, I was quite close to it myself." Emma huffs. "What are we going to do?"

"I know a way we can sort this. At least partly." Tom tells her.

"How?"

"Violet."

Emma frowns. "Tom, she's somewhere in France. We have no way of contacting her."

"Well, actually. I do." Tom admits.

"Heh?"

He goes to the tallboy in the corner of their room, opens a drawer and pulls out a letter. "She wrote to me. I received it shortly after she'd gone."

He hands it to Emma and she takes it, reading it to see Violet genuinely had written to Tom, detailing where to contact her if need be. Emma grins.

"Why you're smiling?" Tom questions, slightly amused.

"It's funny. She clearly trusts you and to think how to her you were this odd foreigner to her once." Emma remarks.

"'Suppose. But we need to do this quickly." Tom says.

"The nannies usually take the children outside soon. What if we abscond ours and have a trip to the Village. What do you say Mr Branson?" Emma smirks at him.

Tom returns her smirk. "Why Mrs Branson, how clever you are."

——

Emma and Tom are walking through the Village, Emma walks next to Tom as he pushes along Patrick's pram with a letter in hand to drop off at the Post Office. Ivy and Michael are running about just ahead when Miss Baxter, who was rushing past, comes to a sudden stop.

The lady's maid is panting heavily with wide panicked eyes. "Mrs Branson, Emma, you need to come quickly."

"What's happened?" Emma questions, worried for the woman. Ivy and Michael have stopped up ahead, watching them curiously.

"It's Thomas."

That's all Emma needs to hear before her stomach drops to the centre of the Earth.

She looks to Tom, who nods. "Go."

Emma flashes him a thankful smile before turning and beginning to run back to the house with Miss Baxter.

"Mama?" She hears Ivy call.

Not wanting her daughter to panic, Emma smiles calmly over her shoulder, slowing slightly. "Mama just forgotten something sweetheart."

Ivy accepts this and begins tugging Michael along with her to carry on playing.

——

(A/N: This is the suicide part.)

Emma and Miss Baxter hurry through the empty downstairs passage, looking for Thomas. They look in the Servants' Hall, the Boot room – empty. Emma ignores all the odd looks they're getting from the other servants as she has only one thing in mind.

They move on to the stairs, barging past a surprised maid, Lucy, and enter the men's corridor. Andy is just exiting his room, pulling on his tailcoat, when they turn the corner.

"Does Mrs Hughes know you're on the men's side?" He says rather sternly to Miss Baxter before startling when seeing Emma. "Er, Mrs Branson—"

"Where is he?" Emma demands.

"Wha—"

"Mr Barrow. Where is he?"

"Er, he was going in for a bath."

Emma sees all colour leave Miss Baxter's face and she knows that her face has done the same thing.

"Oh, my God." Miss Baxter gasps. "Come with us!"

They rush past him, around a corner and to the door of the bathroom. Andy follows, alarmed.

"Hello!" Emma bangs on the door, Miss Baxter joins her. "Thomas! Are you in there?!" She tries the door handle, but the door is locked or bolted. She rattles it desperately. "Will you open this door?!"

"Get back!" Andy instructs.

Emma and Miss Baxter move back, the former has her hands in her hair, pulling in distress while the latter has her hands clapped to her mouth.

Andy aims a kick at the door, then another one. The second kick tears the bolt off the door frame, and the door bursts open. They rush in.

In the red-tiled room, Thomas has filled the bathtub with water and got into it, still wearing his undershirt and trousers. He's lying in it with his eyes closed, pale and lifeless. The water has a reddish tinge, and there's blood spatter on the sides of the tub, on his arms and on his chest.

"Oh, my God!" Andy gasps, horrified.

Emma goes into nursing mode, running towards him and surveying the damage before she starts tearing her underskirt into ribbons for makeshift bandages.

Miss Baxter turns to Andy. "Fetch Mrs Hughes. Send Anna for the doctor, but tell no one else what you've seen."

Andy runs out and Miss Baxter joins Emma by the bath.

——

Emma and Miss Baxter have lifted Thomas' arms out of the bathtub and bandaged his wrists as best they can with the materials they have and are now cleaning him up, softly dabbing his face and arms with wet towels. In the meantime, Thomas had moved his head slightly but very weakly, which is a relief to see.

Both of them look up in alarm when footsteps are heard and the door opens. But relax when they realise it's only Andy and Mrs Hughes.

Mrs Hughes stands in the doorway for a moment, shocked at the sight, but then recovers quickly, closing the door for privacy. "Anna's gone for Doctor Clarkson."

"Good, we've bandaged his arms for now but we need help in getting him out, changing him out of his wet clothes and get him into bed." Emma tells them.

"I hope he won't mind if we undress him." Miss Baxter says.

"He's past minding if we put him in a shy and threw coconuts." Mrs Hughes remarks. "Now, you two take his feet and Andy and I will take an arm each."

They move to do as she said. Mrs Hughes and Andy each take Thomas under one arm while Emma and Miss Baxter move to the end of the tub.

"Has anyone told Lord Grantham?" Emma asks.

"Mr Carson's seeing to that."

"Right. Here goes." Andy says.

They start pulling Thomas out of the tub. He opens his eyes a fraction and groans. Emma winces at that, her nurse façade falling slightly.

They pause before having a go again.

——

Thomas groans awake.

"Thomas? Thomas?" Emma calls worriedly. They'd been able to get Thomas into his room and change him before Dr Clarkson's arrival. The doctor had been able to treat him without needing to take him to Hospital.

Mr Carson had suggested the idea of telling everyone that Thomas is ill with influenza rather than what had happened. He doesn't want any more people than those who already do to know what happened. Emma agrees with it. As far as she is aware, suicide is a crime in England right now and will be until the latter half of the century. There's the worry that, because Thomas did not succeed, he risks being imprisoned or taken to the asylum. Though for Mr Carson, it's the additional huge scandal for the family.

Robert and Mr Carson have also oh so graciously allowed Thomas to stay for the time being, to take needing to find a job off his mind, which they should have done or something similar at least in the first place.

Emma watches from where she sits at the edge of the bed as Thomas slowly blinks his eyes open. He frowns when he sees Emma, looking slowly over Dr Clarkson, Miss Baxter and Mrs Hughes, who stand behind her before it dawns on him. He suddenly pales.

"I—" His mouth is dry so Emma brings water to his lips to which he takes a sip.

"Mr Barrow, I was able to stitch you up, though Mrs Branson provided superb aid prior to my arrival, so you will not need to go to Hospital." Dr Clarkson kindly but professionally tells him.

"Thank you, Dr Clarkson." Thomas mournfully replies, refusing to look up at anyone.

"And now you're awake and there's nothing else, I will leave you in the diligent care of Mrs Branson and your colleagues." Dr Clarkson adds.

"I'll take you to the door, Dr Clarkson." Mrs Hughes says. The two of them leave.

Miss Baxter lingers for a bit longer, flashing a small, pitying smile in Thomas' direction. "I glad to you're looking better." She says softly before leaving.

As soon as she's left, Thomas pulls a face. "I don't want her pity." Normally that would come out as a grumble but instead, he says it faintly almost like a ghost.

"She's cares for you so you're going to get it whether you like it or not." Emma quips softly.

"Why did you stop me?" He suddenly asks. He fiddles with his bandages to which Emma gently slaps his hands away.

"What? Other than the fact you're my friend and I don't want you to die?" Emma retorts, trying to keep it light.

"Well, you haven't been acting like my friend recently." Thomas retorts.

Emma's face drops. "Yeah, I know I haven't and I'm sorry but I'm my defence, you can be a real bastard sometimes."

"Yeah, I know." Thomas mumbles but this time there's a slight quirk at the corner of his mouth which isn't much but it's something.

(A/N: End of the main part of TW)

——

Emma continues to stay with him for the rest of the day before Miss Baxter takes over and Emma goes to join the others for dinner, at which she learns they'd also been informed of what had happened.

Edith isn't there and has actually gone up to London. After Emma had left Tom, Edith had asked him if he could drive with her to the Station so he could take the car back to Downton. Apparently, the kids had a lot of fun in the spontaneous car ride.

The next day is largely the same though Anna and Miss Baxter take turns in relieving Emma and helping to look after Thomas. At one point in the day, Mary brings both Ivy and George up to visit with oranges to make him feel better. He's still weak and pale but a tad better on what he was yesterday, physically anyway.

Come Friday, Emma sits in the Library with Tom on her break from looking after Thomas/just generally keeping him company. They're on their own as Rosamund, Cora and Robert are getting ready for their tea at Mrs Pamtore's B & B. Rosamund had suggested it, to make a little news story out of it to help with Mrs Patmore regaining the bookings she lost due to the place being deemed a 'house if ill repute'. Emma's glad that's being sorted at least.

Emma is startled out of her musings when Andy comes striding into the room.

Tom looks up from his newspaper. "Andy?"

"The Dowager called, Sir. She's returned to the Dowager House and is now making her way to Downton." He hurriedly informs them, a tad out of breath.

Both Emma and Tom's heads snap towards each other at a speed that really should've snapped their heads off.

"That was quick." Emma remarks. "You should go go to the door, Andy. Don't want her in a mood if there's no footman to greet her."

Andy nods and darts out of the room.

Violet's car comes up the drive to the house and halts at the front door. Andy comes out to meet it and opens the rear door for Violet to get out. Tom and Emma come hurrying out of the house to greet her.

"I can't believe you came!" Tom remarks in greeting.

"You made it sound so urgent." Violet retorts.

"Even so, we really appreciate it. Thank you." Emma says. They start moving towards the entrance together. "Was everything all right when you got home?"

"Well no, not really. Spratt has gone away." Violet complains, pulling them to a stop.

Okay, odd.

"Did you tell him you were coming back?" Tom questions.

"A good butler should not need to be told." Emma almost laughs at that but decides not to interrupt Violet as she continues with, "Now, where are they? My broken-hearted granddaughters?"

"It's just Mary. Edith's gone up to London. We didn't know when we wrote." Emma tells her as they continue walking towards the house.

"All the better." Violet says. "Oh, and after that's been sorted, I would rather like to meet Patrick."

Emma smiles at that. "Of course."

——

Thankfully, Mary is not mad at Tom or Emma for summoning Violet though in doing so has appears to have worked as Mary is much happier, ready to make peace with Edith as well as having sent a telegram to Henry to come as soon as he can today. If Mary wants him then Emma's happy for her.

By the time of his arrival, Billy has arrived home from work and stands anxiously with Emma, Tom and Mary in the Library as Henry walks in through the Small Library. The atmosphere is not exactly pleasantly relaxed here. Mary is extremely nervous, Henry looks confused and reserved, Tom is cautiously optimistic but not overly optimistic while Billy is reserved but hopeful. To be honest, Emma just feels exhausted and is just wishing for the sweet release of this being over.

"Well. That's it. We'll leave you to it." Tom announces.

Emma and Billy begin to follow him just as Tom moves to leave, but Henry's voice stops them.

"You don't have to go."

"Believe me, we do." Emma remarks.

"Exactly. We've been part of this courtship for quite long enough. It's for you to manage from here." Billy adds.

And they walk out and close the door behind them. Billy and Tom begin walking towards the stairs, crossing the Great Hall but Emma doesn't, slowing down her steps.

Billy's the one who catches what she's doing first. "Emma?"

"Wouldn't be weird for me to impatiently wait outside the door until I find out whether there'll be a wedding or not?" Emma tries to say it conversationally but instead, it's awkward and she's cringing.

The two men share a grin and Tom turns to her and says, "Weird but we won't stop you." And they both leave, chuckling.

Emma rolls her eyes and plonks herself on the closest chair by the door.

A short time later Mr Carson emerges from the door that leads to the servants' quarters at the corner of the Hall and moves to the door leading to the Library. He startles but recovers quite efficiently when he spots Emma.

"Mrs Branson?"

"Er, don't mind me, Mr Carson. You just get on with your work." Emma says, trying to not act like she's just been caught red-handed spying. Well, not spying but something close to that.

The butler looks at her baffled but does just that. Emma doesn't see what happens but she can tell he's startled at what he sees and then very quietly and discreetly moves back out of the room and closes the door again.

"I take it by you're expression it's good news?" Emma asks, grinning at the almost scandalised look on the man's face. She lets out a few quiet sniggers.

Just then, Mr Molesley arrives with tea on a tray.

Mr Carson outs up a hand to stop the footman when he reaches them. "Uh, give it a moment, Mr Molesley. Better give it a moment."

He gives Mr Molesley a very significant look, which Mr Molesley answers with a soundless "Ooooh!" when the penny drops.

To be honest this sends Emma from quietly sniggering to full-out laughter.

——

"What is it with men Mary is marrying making both you and Billy their best men?" Emma remarks as Tom shrugs on his mourning coat while Emma does his tie.

It's Saturday 22nd of August 1925 and it's the day Lady Mary Crawley and Mr Henry Talbot get married. Apparently, the two aren't hanging about. The last time he was here, Henry had brought a marriage licence nod conveniently, his uncle is a bishop which means they're able to marry at the earliest convenience which is this Saturday.

They're a little late getting ready and are moving at double the speed than they would've done if they hadn't gotten, er um, busy this morning.

Tom laughs. "It is strange that both of us will have been the best man at both if her weddings."

"Funnier things have happened," Emma remarks as she steps away from him and turns to her dresser to slip on her earrings and pull on her gloves. "Did you know Mr Carson had Henry have breakfast in bed so that there would be no chance of either Henry or Mary catching a glimpse of one another?"

"This is Mr Carson we're talking about. He wouldn't take any chances with Mary's happiness." Tom chuckles, as he places the flowers in his lapel and Emma hands him his hat.

Emma steps back to look at him but not before stroking his lapels to make sure there are no creases. "There. You're all set and now you really must go."

Tom flashes her a grin and gives her a quick peck before he leaves the room to meet with Henry and Billy and make their way to the Church.

——

Emma had arrived in time to watch Anna do Mary's hair and put the finishing touches to Mary's wedding dress along with Cora and Rosamund. It's an altogether less romantic, more modern affair than at her wedding with Matthew, but still very elegant, because come on, it's Mary.

The door opens. Edith comes in, still in her travelling clothes. She looks unsure and reserved.

"What? I don't believe it! Why didn't you say to expect you?" Cora exclaims in surprise as she, Rosamund and Emma all rise from their seats.

"Because I wasn't sure until I got on the train." Edith replies.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Can you not ask me that for the rest of the day?"

Mary turns to Emma, Cora and Rosamund. "Could you leave us for a moment?"

"Of course." Her mother says.

Emma, Cora, Rosamund and Anna move towards the door. Anna opens it for the ladies. Cora pauses at Edith's side to stroke her arm encouragingly.

Emma gives her a warm smile. "I'll see to the children."

"We'll wait for you downstairs." Rosamund adds before they all finally leave. Hopefully, there'll be no blood to mop up or a body to hide.

——

Thankfully neither is true and they all arrive at the Church in one piece. The wedding goes swimmingly and they all soon find themselves emerging from the Church after the newly married Mr Henry Talbot and Lady Mary Talbot to applause and people showering the newly married couple with flower petals. They pause to kiss, to more cheering, then move on.

There's a horse-drawn carriage that Mary and Henry take their seat in before it moves off towards the Abbey.

"Better than ours do you think?" Tom asks after they finish waving it off.

"Nah, no wedding will beat ours, I'm certain." She flashes him a warm loving grin to which he kisses her. They pull apart and Emma adds, "Now, only one more Crawley sister to sought out."

Tom sighs. "Hopefully that won't take long."

Emma looks over to see Edith standing in the churchyard, watching Ivy, Marigold, Michael, Sybbie and George with a loving look on her face. The children are running and laughing and playing tag around Sybil's large stone tomb.

Emma rather thinks it'll all turn out fine in the end. With any luck.

——

A/N: Can't believe I started this story just over two years ago and now I'm here with only one more TV episode to go and then it'll be the movies!!! Where does the time go?

Some facts that I thought might be useful:

Tallboy = tall cabinet

'Punch and Judy' is a traditional British puppet show played from a booth, featuring Mr. Punch and his wife Judy as the main characters. Punch is a clownish creature, a jester and a trickster and most of the comedy comes from the other characters falling victim to Punch's slapstick. Punch speaks in a trademark squawky voice, which is traditionally achieved by the performer speaking through a squazzle, but with less discerning audiences like here, any silly voice alteration will do.

Although suicide itself is no longer a criminal act, under section 2 of the Suicide Act 1961 it remains a criminal offence for a third party to assist or encourage another to commit suicide.

Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.

#doctor who

0 notes

jina-juhi · 2 years ago

Text

walk me home?

Pairing : sweet! Jaehyun × female reader

Genre : smut (minors dni)

Ratings : 18+

word count : 5.6k

Warnings : soft ! Jaehyun, orgasm, fingering, oral (f reciving), very minor dom jaehyun, he likes to command okay? use of pet names (not much) protected sex, not so shy!reader, sad!reader, quite!reader, riding, licking. a little corruption kink maybe?

Preview:- In which a stupid game of truth and dare makes you realise how much you want Jaehyun.

A/N : very slight plot:) I've been mia i know,,,

my smuts kinda revolves around the reader, and for some reason the reader is always in a place that is not so happy. So if you're not okay with reading such a concept you're free to not read this.

not proofread,

other works~

Been a difficult day? It's been a difficult year. Speaking out loud and clear, your life is a mess and you're not at all happy with it. If skipping college classes to be able to steal a one hour sleep off the day to only stay awake the whole night taking care of old grannies at the old age home was the original plan you would have considerably switched onto the next option. But what could you have done, night is the only time you could find to take up a part time job because money is important, which you unfortunately don't have enough. You can't totally skip college or they wouldn't let you take the scholarship exam you're currently studying and doing all the hard and extra work for.

The original plan was to get into college and have the best time of your life possible, maybe, not the best life, maybe not the best clothes, the best laptop or the best grades but at least, a little less tension, a little less uncertainty and hopelessness. A little more independence. Maybe some good friends and night outs, and going to carnivals together, and movie date with someone you could call your own.

Was this all too much to ask for when you finally got into college? No. But life isn't fair, and you never complain. Bad things happen, they keep on happening, you just gotta learn how to deal with them. And that is what you are doing, going out, at 10 pm, to a party, alone because your friends didn't really find it necessary to ask you to join, hoping that you got the address right.

It has been pouring and it's chilly out on the streets, you're quite grateful for wearing a cardigan over your cute, not so little tube dress. So many uncertainties driving you mad right now, what if you didn't qualify for the scholarship? who's going to pay for your studies. Loan, not an option. You can't always keep working and sacrifice your sleep and peace of mind, your health is important which hasn't been good lately.

With all these thoughts running through your head you arrive at the party, you walk in without a second thought. Pretty house, pretty lights, pretty people. All so happy. Too happy for you, you think to yourself while finding something to drink, something non alcoholic, and someone. It's not like you don't know anyone here, you know a lot of people, it's just they don't know you.

Grabbing a drink you decide to go over to the sofa, sit and watch people, what you usually do, in the library, coffee shop, classroom. So many different faces, so many different stories. So many different problems everyone must be going through, and yet everyone fails to understand each other. What a tragedy.

You were never like this, sitting alone, not talking. This you is not you, you used to be bubbly, funny, radiant. Once you used to start talking, no one could shut you up, and oh the random shit you would do, you used to be happy. Right now, you don't even know if you're breathing anymore. You're just there, time goes by, the tea gets cold and butterflies get born and you, are still there. Stuck. Thing after thing happens, and it's like they nail you to the ground. You just can't move on.

the truth is, you're too tired to move on. Enough times you've tried, you're tired of trying. So you learnt to live with whatever it is, you learnt to stay quiet and enjoy your own company, not really wanting to get close with people, not really going out and having fun. Just your room, earphones plugged in and a painting brush in your hand whenever time allows. This was your small, but happy little world.

Strangely familiar faces pass you by as you sip on your drink under the dim lights. The music's loud, but it's sexy. You spotted your friends a long time ago in the room somewhere, who don't really seem to have noticed you too, gratefully. Everybody is either dancing, or drunk or both.

and he's watching you.

Your brain has been screaming this one sentence since past how many? 10 minutes you've been sitting there. He's sitting on the kitchen counter across the room with his evergreen group of friends. Loose white tee hugging is frame perfectly. It's not a clear view, people are moving in between and the lights are low, but you are so perfectly able to see him ruffling his already messed up hair, laughing but not paying attention to whatever others are saying, sipping on some liquor you suppose, sweet glimmering eyes dancing from person to person landing on you at the same time your's lands on him, looking somewhere else the moment they meet. Bracelets in both hands, silver chains hanging around his neck. Pretty.

as always.

Why would he even look at you. Out of all the pretty girls in the room, why, would he even bother to look at you, who are you. Does he even know you? He doesn't even need to say a word and it would be a long line of girls waiting with their legs wide open for him, after all its Jaehyun.

and he knows you.

So it happened on a very fine normal working college day, your friend Mark, with whom you share one or two classes, thought it would be nice to have lunch with him, he was being kind as your friends ditched you in front of him. He's a nice guy, decent one, cute, angel-like, and a very caring friend. You thought it would be just you two but his friends were there too, amongst them was Jaehyun too. So yeah he knows you, your name. Not much interaction, you don't really talk, and he doesn't really initiate, just some hi and hellos and smiles in the hallway, and small little conversation when you have lunch with them. that's it.

that's it? the way he always makes sure you get what u need?

and passing you water whenever your glass goes empty.

You decide to get up as the more you sit there the more you notice. The more the urge to go there and be with them, because they seem to have fun there playing some game. You wanna play too. As you get up to find some other spot, Mark calls you over. Something that you have been ignoring, but you don't this time, it would be rude, he has been kinder than anybody, involving you in small little things, texting you making sure you're okay, that you ate, that you got home safely from your work.

Passing the crowd you greet them all and stand beside Mark who side hugs you, "I've been calling you, where were you looking?" Rummaging through the excuse section in your brain you make a confused face, "couldn't hear the phone over the loud music, sorry." you shrug, he mouths a 'its okay' quickly, asking you to play the game of truth or dare with them.

"Who plays truth and dare." You make a bored face expression your disapproval, shaking your head no. You just didn't want to with Jaehyun sitting right in front of you. "We, and you're playing with us. C'mon Markie it's your turn! Pick a chit" Yuta smiles at you first, switching his attention to Mark, offering him a bowl full of chits. So basically it's a bowl of written truths and dares, and you gotta do or answer whatever comes.

You look around at everyone, everybody is saying something, smiling, laughing, having fun, being there. Happy. Effortlessly.

why couldn't you.

Its this overwhelming feeling that overshadows all the good you feel, every fucking time. It's not that you make yourself feel bad, its not kike you make the choice, its there, and you dont know what to do about or how to make it go away, how to deal with them.

The chit reads, "to finish 2 full bottles of liquor by the end of the game" and everybody cheers him up because of course, we all know it's gonna be hard for him given his tolerance level.

"Truth or dare?" You were taken off guard by Haechan, who threw the cap of a bottle he just opened passing it to Mark, and passing you the bowl, everybody taking your name unison, you roll your eyes and pick up a chit. Before you could open it Haechan snatches it away from your hands, opening it himself, smirking.

"I hope she doesn't back off now!"

"What do you mean by back off?"

"Say you'll do it no matter what or I'll not waste a dare on you." as poking as his tone was, no of course you're not going to back off.

"Just tell me the fucking dare"

For some reason Haechan looks over at Jaehyun and laughs, "I'm gonna enjoy it the most" Looking at you now, "You gotta lick something off of someone's chest standing in front of you."

All the hooting and oohs were background noise because all you could hear right now is the excitement your heart was beating with, and the fear of doing something, in front of everyone, with Jaehyun, that you've never done before. Did I mention somewhere that you're one the most sexually frustrated teens round the corner? And did i also mention that Jaehyun right now is the main character of your thoughts and dreams? But isn't it obvious? Like day to night to morning, one thing you use as a distraction is this guy. But he's not a mere distraction. More like, the centre of your attraction.

Little things he does for you are remarkably the sweetest of all. He won't ever mention them though. It's like, he knows something's down with you, and not being very obvious he makes sure you're doing fine whenever he possibly could. Listening to you when you don't even speak. Understanding you just with one single look. That's what you need, what you want, you crave being understood, being known, being heard. You need someone who could tell just by the way you walk that you are not okay. Who doesn't believe you when you say you're fine. Who doesn't walk off when you say you wanna be alone. Who could hold you close and never let go. Whose mere presence could make you feel at home, because home, is a place you've never been to. It's a feeling you've never really known. It is a word you've never really spoken, but oh how every broken piece of you wanna feel like it belongs somewhere, or to someone.

Oh and you're really inexperienced, had a little fling back when you were 18 but it lasted barely a year. So to lick, is something foreign, but exciting,"unless he doesn't have any problem." tilting your head sideways you direct your sentence to Jaehyun, god knows where this confidence is coming from, but hell you love it!

The corners of his lips turn slightly up, the soft angelic eyes turning a bit devil like, swallowing hard he parts his lips to say something, looking right into your eyes, as if studying you, "only if you're fine with it."

Taking a second to register his words, he's asking for consent, personally.

The littlest things he does.

Giving him an assuring nod, you move forwards, "So what do i have to lick?" and everybody gets so fucking loud, as if they've never seen this before happening. To be a disappointment now would be a greater disappointment. Gulping every ounce of courage you could, taking the ice cream from yuta's hands, you stand in front of him, trying to control your shaking hands and beating heart. Moving slightly backwards to give him space as he removes his tee, for you.

You're mind is yelling a million things to you right now, the situation's already intimidating enough, with his eyes on you, watching every move you make, not helping at all.

"You don't have to." he reassures.

"No it's okay, i just have to figure this thing, it's melting"

"What's there to figure, just put it here and lick it off"

lick it off.

And you lick it off. The smell of his perfume filling up your lungs blurring out your senses, adjusting your focus on the licked area, theres some cream still left, you don't hesitate once before licking it all clean. You don't care what's going on in the background it's just you, and his presence.

Before you could even be proud of yourself, a whole bottle of wine? liquor? was emptied on you by a very annoyingly excited Haechan. Everyone went silent all of a sudden, you wanted to speak but nothing really came out of your mouth. He was apologizing non-stop, you just said it was fine and excused yourself to go to the bathroom.

The whole situation was a question mark but Haechan's just crazy, a well known fact, so you tried not to think about this. Finding your way to the bathroom upstairs, everything just got irritating for some reason. You don't quite like going out because things like this happen, and it renders you irritated and exhausted. For no reason at all. These are normal things that happen but you're not used to them, this is what is irritating, you don't know what normalcy is, you've forgotten what it's like to be normal.

Getting in the bathroom, inhaling deep to calm yourself down, you step out of the tight, and now stinky dress leaving it on the floor. Going over the sink, finding a towel and wetting it you wipe yourself clean.

"Shouldn't one lock the door behind?"

You jump out of your skin turning back to look for the source of the voice, your hands instinctively try to cover yourself.

"Oh it's you" It was Jaehyun standing at the bathroom door, your hands moving down because you didn't really feel the need to hide, and for some reason you felt at ease.

"Need help?" he asks stepping in.

"It's really okay, I'll manage, thanks." You turn around, opening your soaked up hair, looking for another towel. He finds it for you.

"I'll help anyways." You don't really say or protest, you just let him be; present. Let him help you. He locks the door behind, stepping closer, he stands behind you, "the smell won't go away easily."

"Courtesy of your friend" you give a plain smile as you feel him detangle your hair from behind, a feeling you never knew could be so soothing? "Ignore him, he can be a lot sometimes." he says gathering your hair in the towel, squeezing them gently.

You nod not really wanting to say something at the moment. "Well, you don't really know how to lick something or someone right?" You open your eyes to the sudden change in topic, "i mean, you were good enough for a newbie but, you could do better."

"Erm? what are you talking about"

"Oh you have every idea of what I'm talking about." Moving your hair aside, fingertips touching your skin, leaving a tickle behind, the contact titillating you both. Licking his lips, he uses the towel to wipe your arm, pressing the cold cloth on your skin, dragging it up in slow sensual motion, he looks you in the eyes through the mirror, "Don't play the innocent card now."

"Jaehyun what-"

"What?"

You pause. Not really knowing what to say next. It's hard to look him in the eye when he's looking directly at you, eye to eye. You shift your focus on the tap, just something but him, his eyes. His goddamn eyes.

The realisation hits you when you struggle to take a breath that you haven't been really breathing for don't know how long, he chuckles.

"I asked you something."

"huh?" was all you could manage, his hands were leaving burning flames on your skin, his breath hitting your neck was making your senses go feral, every second under his hard gaze was making it impossible for you to breathe, given you were with him alone in a locked room, only in your undies, hair soaking wet with liquor and desire evident in every inch of your exposed skin.

Only if you were looking at him you could see how much he was controlling. How much he wanted you bent right now under him, under his mercy, screaming his name, begging him to stop but not really wanting him to, oh how badly he had wanted to make you feel right every time he saw you crying, how badly he had wanted to take your pain away and make you feel okay, and loved and heard. Make you his.

You jump in surprise when u feel his tongue roll on your shoulder, flat against your skin, burning every inch it covers, and up your neck, just baby licks and kisses, "What are you doin?" you speak lowly in a hurry, barely above a whisper,not trusting your voice at the moment.

"Showing you how it's done."

"Why?" Every emotion you ever felt was put into this single word. Unsaid and unheard but deeply felt feelings were expressed in a vivid eye to eye conversation.

"Because you're letting me." An answer beyond your expectations.

It's a different feeling, you've never ever experienced this, i mean all this adrenaline rush through your blood, this gush of heat you feel in your fingertips is all fine but this understandability, this connection, this feeling of someone, this is new, and it's all him, it's all Jaehyun. You don't stop him, you just look at him, silently speaking your heart out. He's looking at you too, understanding everything.

His hands are holding you by your waist, you lean into him and his lips have already found their place in the crook of your neck, kissing and licking lightly which soon was replaced by harsh sucking and biting, tracing invisible lines on your skin, working art with his tongue on you, your head resting on his shoulder, hands creeping up to fiddle with his sweaty hair while his pretty lips are leaving a trail down your neck.

You gulp hard, mouth drying, breathing unevenly, lips parted and eyes closed, lost in this heavenly feeling. He takes this opportunity to capture your lips with his, taking you in for a gentle kiss, he makes you turn around never breaking the kiss, now face to face, tilted at an angle, melting under each other's touch he cups your face, his body pressing into you.

Tongue gliding against each other, his hands roaming your body freely, discovering places you've never been before, eliciting feelings you've never felt before, he deepens the kiss, pressing his body against yours, your hands shakey, no power in your legs to stand straight he holds you up, suckling your lower lip he breaks the kiss letting you breathe, hands never leaving your body.

It felt like you were drunk. Drunk on love. Drunk on him. Being able to feel this intimacy with him got you falling for him head over heels all over again. Being able to feel his hands on you, his lips on your lips got you all dizzy in your head. Intoxicated by him wholly and completely, not being able to resist, you reach for his lips but he moves away.

"Wear your cloths and meet me outside the front gate."

It was quite sudden and processing the information was quite a job as you were still ticklish from his touches. Studying the confusion on your face, "fast."

You nod your head yes as he leaves. You pick up the alcohol drenched dress and wear it in a hurry, collecting your things you leave the bathroom, down the stairs your heart racing at the speed of light in the anticipation of what is to come next. You make your way through the crowd, eyes searching for his figure.

You meet him right where he told you to meet him. You take a breath, walking in his direction he smiles at you which you return, "let's go."

"Where?" You ask cuz genuinely you had no idea where he was gonna take you.

"Home, your home"

"I'll- I'll go by myself you don't have t-"

"I will. Now shall we?" he motions you to walk by him. You follow. Moving beside him, you both leave the house. Too afraid rather too shy to open your mouth and question literally everything that was happening right now you prefer silently walking. But someone had to say something because then it would get really awkward to even look him in the eyes, so you do, "umh so like are we a thing now?"

"A thing?" he looks at you with raised eyebrows, eyes glimmery under the street lights

"No! i mean like, like what are we now that we have, you know now that we have-"

"-kissed, and made out." he completes your sentence knowing your too shy to say the word.

"yea that." you reply not looking at him.

"What do you think are we?" For a moment you went blank. But then you thought. About the both of you. the term Friends is underrated and lovers is overrated.

"I truly don't know, but it's better this way."

"Better that nothing can define what we have?" he says looking at you.

"Better that we don't have any labels attached?" and you're looking at him.

"Better that we don't have to just be that one thing?"

"Better that we can be anything."

"we can be us." This line you both say in unison. Looking at each other you both chuckle, he's cute, he looks cute when he smiles, you both notice every little detail about each other. You dont have to say the I love yous, its natural you know, its in the way he smiles at you, its the way he looks at you that you know he loves you.

Moving in for a kiss, his warmth greets you again in the cold of the night. It was only meant to be a cute little peck but the hunger took over and it turned out to be a full blown make out session in the middle of nowhere.

"Fuck" he groans in between the hot battle of the lips not being able to keep up with you, cupping your face looking at you amazed and in awe, yeah apart from sad you are some greedy needy girl one must know, "yea me, please!" puppy eyes with need written all over your face he couldn't help but get even more excited by each second passing in your presence.

"Don't you think it's too early for that" he asks and an immediate frown drowns on your face. Shaking your head no, you convey your disapproval. Thinking of all the times you've wanted this, all times you've wanted Jaehyun, of all things you wanted him to do, and now that it is happening, you wouldn't say no to this not now not ever.

It's some kind of a different craving you have for him, it's not just love hell you don't even know what love is. This is not entirely a sexual, physical or mental want or need. It's an undescribable yearning for a connection. And it's beautiful.

Within seconds you both were melting into each other's arms, time was a forgotten concept and the world is a non-existent place for the both of you. Lips and hands and touch and kisses are the only reality you both are living in right now, it's crazy falling in love and it's even more crazy falling in love with him. If this is what love is.

With your mind going dizzy and vision blurry, lust taking over your body, knocking you out of your senses, too afraid to let him go and too afraid to hold him close, you let him take control. Under his guidance you reciprocate his every move, complete his every action, repay his every touch. His aroma soothing your pain and his presence giving peace to your heart, he's leading you home, you're home, he's your home.

Breath hitching and muffled moans leaving your mouth, your hands clench the blanket tightly as his tongue spells stars on your throbbing clit, hes been at it forever it seems, driving you too close to the edge but holding you strong enough to not let you fall just yet. The teasing part was the hardest. You didn't even knew when you guys made it to your bedroom, like just now you both were awkwardly talking on the road and then you were kissing in the elevator and tripping on the hallway and now you're lying completely naked with his head in between your legs, drinking your juices, bittersweet and he loves it.

"I thought it was the liquor burning but it's only you." the loss of contact makes you look up, his deselved look incites a tickle in your lower tummy, lips glistening because of your essence and eyes drunk, you reward him with a maon rolling your hips up, shutting your eyes tightly. A hiss leaves your lips when he replaces his tongue by his finger moving in sweet circular motion. His lips found a new spot sucking and biting the tender skin of your inner thighs leaving cherry sweet love bites here and there.

You throw your head back in ecstasy breathing in deep before completely holding your breath as he fastens the torture. Low grunts left his throat watching your core drip honey in full blossom. He lifts himself up, hovering over you, fingers never once stopping their job. Giving your neck an open mouthed kiss, he connects his lips with yours, biting and sucking your plump delicate lips, savouring every moment, tilting his head to be closer to you he inserts his finger into your wet hole, your body spasming to his unfamiliar touch, you arch your back meeting his chest, breathing in synchronisation, his fingers picks up the pace, breaking the kiss, his eyes never leaving yours, his palm grazing against your clit and finger going in and out of you makes you go feral, and he doesn't hold you this time. He lets you come undone under him.

Electricity running through your nerves sends your brain floating high up in 7th heaven. He lets you ride your high, training soft kisses down your neck to the middle of your breasts. Taking your left nipples in his mouth, suckling it sweetly he let his hands from between your legs to cup the other breast. The utter delicacy he does it with, god he's perfect in every way possible, how hes sucking and how hes nipping at it how he lets his tongue taste every corner of your skin, slowly and deliciously hes mind mapping you, learning every sound your making.

Too much, little do you know he's controlling himself too much, he wants to give it to you slow but little does he know you don't want it slow.

"Umh Jaehyun please" half a voice and half a moan you ask him to fuck you right then and there.

He laughs and sits in between your legs. "Impatient much huh?" tilting his cute little head his hair wavering with the motion, you nod with pleading eyes. He chuckles at you for the 9th time tonight. "Might have a condom?" No. You don't. You lay with a blank face. The thought saddened you that you won't be able to do it but, "Aww i do cutey"

"Jaehyun!!" You shout in embarrassment as he gets off of bed laughing hard at you. That's when you realise the whole time he was literally fully dressed, from head to toe. Disappointed in yourself, you get on your knees on the bed, him eyeing your every move, you shift to where he stood frozen looking at you, for a moment it was frightening, but you extend your hands reaching for his shirt, he gets what you want to do. With a smirk planted on his lips permanently, he turns towards you giving you full excess and freedom.

You look at him and divert your gaze, focusing on removing the shirt. One job done. Now as much as you wanna sit and stare at his abs, and ofcourse lick them again, this time properly pants still are needed to be undone.

You gulp hard, opening the button and sliding down the zipper, but before you could slide them down your hands were caught by his, "I know you wanna lick me again."

What the fuck.

Eye contact was a dangerous move in this game.

"Lick it."

And you are, your tongue flat against his hard muscles dragging from the bottom up to his clavicle.

"Good girl, you learn fast."

Planting a small kiss on his jaw you speak in whispers, "now im impatient and i need you to fuxk me real bad like right now."

He huffs. Not even in a second you're pushed back on the bed. "Don't move." is what he says as he removes his pants and boxers at the same time, revealing himself to you for the very first time. He sure is all breathtakingly sexy but all you care about right now is your dripping core and and his hard member inside you.

You let out a harsh noise of annoyance when he gets on the bed gently adjusting you the way he wants. He was gonna say you sure or not but before he could you reassured him that yes you want this as much as he wants it, and that you will never ever regret and and he could hurry up a bit because the need to feel him inside is physically hurting at this point.

Your soul leaves your body when he enters you, slowly at first but then when you insist hes in you in one swift motion. He stays like that for a while letting you adjust to him. He grunts lowly, "Baby don't do that."

"Do what?" your voice is barely audible.

"Let loose, relax yourself" he says, that's when you realise what you were doing. You mutter a small apology and try to relax yourself. You sigh in relief when he finally starts moving. "Feels good hmm?" his muffled voice sending shivers running down to your core, you whine in response not being able to think straight, just feeling him gripping your hips, his head buried in the crook of your neck, listen to his uneven breathing and low grunts is adding to the pleasure his providing you with.

He's aiming for his release, setting a fast pace, sweat dripping from his body, forehead sticking to each other hes holding himself up so he could go deeper and deeper with every thrust. Feeling his tip every time he enters you drives you towards your orgasm faster than before.

He sits himself up dragging you along with him. Positions are reversed now, "Put it in yourself." hesitant at first, with shaky hands you take it into your palm, not quite sure what to do first you give a few strokes which is enough to drive him insane, "Dont know how to?"

You were too busy admiring him in your hands for the first time that you almost forgot he was watching you, his question startled you, looking at him you say, "i do."

"Then do it."

"I am, just giving myself some time."

He imitates you, teasing you knowing your too innocent for him, he could do this all day. Flustered and somehow determined to prove him wrong you position yourself on top of him pointing its tip at your entrance. You slowly sink down on him, both of your eyes closing as a reflex. Holding his shoulders for the support you bottom out on him, making him moan your name loudly, you open your eyes and you are greeted with the most handsome face you've ever watched. Eyes shut closed, head rolled back in pleasure and furrowed forehand, what a view. Setting up a steady pace, you rock your hips back and forth, riding him leisurely.

His hands grip your waist assisting you,"Fuxk baby so sexy, just like that." Jaehyun seemed to have lost all control. Holding you up he thursts up at a hurried pace with all the energy that he can. Not once has he released for the night and now hes reaching hos high and so are you.

Breathy moans getting louder and louder with every thrust, harshly breathing and coming undone in each others arms was a pure bliss, especially when he held you close to him as you both tried to catch your breaths.

Both of your hair are a mess, bodies tired and covered in sweat, panting heavily. He is whispering praises in your ear, rubbing your back telling you you did good. Scratches of your nails formed on his shoulder and neck now turning red, tickling with sweet pain. Your head is on his shoulder, face in the crook of his neck, hands tangling and playing with the small stands of his hair. His arms holding you, making you feel safe. Making you feel loved. Making you feel at home.

"Tired?"

"yes"

"Why are you so cute huh?" you purr at his cheesy comment, Laughing a little, hugging him tighter.

"Jaehyun?"

"hmm?"

"Thanks for walking me home."

_________________________________________________

And thanks to you for reading and putting up with this utter piece of cring. I totally understand if you wanna unfollow and dislike and never read something like this ever.

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