#i can't get over the fact that ultimately
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Every day I am in the trenches fighting for my life defending this poor man. He was going through so much and people online demonize him and say he's as bad as his abuser
(I've got a lot of thoughts about this so I'll make sure to separate things to make it easier to look at lol)
Curly is a victim of abuse. Jimmy is his abuser. This is something that I feel a lot of people tend to brush over or don't acknowledge it often.
And I'm not just talking about post-crash. Jimmy's abuse of Curly is there pre-crash too. The party scene where the crew learns about the company going under is a huge example of this. Jimmy verbally abuses him, he gaslights him, he blames him for their (his) misfortune. Jimmy accuses Curly of thinking he's better than everyone (better than him), that he doesn't care about them (about him). That he's going leave them (leave him). Which is not true. Curly tries to explain himself but Jimmy shuts him down and he just takes it.
The fact that he just allows this to happen makes it seem like he's used to this... That this kind of behavior is a recurring thing with Jimmy. And the fact that nobody else tries to defend him or stands up to Jimmy just normalizes it for him. When Anya tells Curly what Jimmy did it catches him off guard. Bc he genuinely didn't think that his friend was capable of that. It wasn't something that was obvious to him. There were absolutely many red flags in the past but they were subtle enough for him to not see them bc he cares for Jimmy, he trusts him. Jimmy's the only one he feels he can open up to, who he can let his guard down with. Jimmy's his home. That's how close they are.
Because of this deep love for his friend and the subtlety of Jimmy's cruelty, he doesn't see the constant verbal and emotional abuse as what it is: abuse. Which is why he finds Jimmy's abuse towards Anya so shocking and jarring.
He isn't a man covering for his rapist friend bc of the 'bro code'. It does look like that from a certain angle and it's understandable why people see it that way but that's not what his character is really about as much as it makes sense otherwise.
He's essentially a battered housewife who's still in love with her husband but is realizing for the first time that the man she loves is a monster. That the man she loves and devoted her life to has been hurting her this whole time and she didn't even realize it. That the man she loves and spent so much of her life caring for has gone and hurt someone else. That he's most likely hurt others before and she's been utterly unaware of it the entire time she defended him and made excuses for him when he wasn't the best or the fairest or the most responsible or when he screwed up yet again solely bc of how much she loved and cared for him.
And Curly barely had any time to process ANY of that before Jimmy decided to try and kill them all to avoid the consequences of his actions. It was ultimately a selfish act even if he thought he wasn't just doing it for himself. Jimmy is selfish and needs to be in control or he loses it. He cares for Curly. He loves him. Curly's done so much for him. Curly's the only one who understands him, who doesn't hate him. Curly's his home. He resents how 'successful' he is but that's only bc he thinks so highly of him. He constantly puts himself down and put Curly on a pedestal and worships him while simultaneously mistreating him.
He treats his best friend like shit, he's awful to him. But he's not aware that this is the case or maybe he's in denial about it. He can't or just refuses to see how he's doing all of what he does for himself in the end. He justifies his attempt to kill them all (to himself and to Curly) by claiming he's doing this for them both. That if they were to get back to earth it would all be Curly's fault, that it'll ruin his life and career... despite the fact he had basically nothing to do with Anya's abuse. Jimmy's shifting the blame on him while acting like he cares for him. Well, he does genuinely care for him but clearly not nearly enough to not mistreat him or use him as a scapegoat for his own guilt.
Jimmy is the rapist, Jimmy is the one who does all of these horrible things. And yet it's highly likely that Curly would just blame all of it on himself bc that's exactly what Jimmy did to him. He's in so deep he can't see the facts of the situation.
It takes abuse victims so long to come to terms with their abuse. It takes time and reflection to see things with an unbiased and healthy perspective. Abuse (especially years of it) isn't just something you can just escape. It consumes you and can twist your reality. Curly had about a week or less to process all of it and then take action in a way that protected his crew and abided by Pony Express' guidelines. Dealing with something this serious in a setting that makes resolving it extremely difficult in a practical sense is already hard.
There were no locks on any of the doors except for medical and the cockpit. They couldn't just kill him. There was nowhere they could detain Jimmy that wouldn't involve corporate potentially penalizing the entire group. They could have used the cryopods but then there'd only be three available for any actual emergency and there were already five crew members and four pods in total. Also, I doubt corporate would be 'okay' with them using the cryopods for anything other than their intended purpose. Hell, even if they were able to make it back to earth without any incidents there's a good chance that corporate would consider the situation 'poor team synergy' and collectively punish the entire crew for Jimmy's actions.
So on top of having to deal with an already difficult situation, Curly has to grapple with the realization that Jimmy a: abused Anya, b: has been abusing him as well (for a very long time too), and c: has probably abused others before Anya and he had no idea about it. He needed to act but he didn't and it doomed all of them.
But it's so unrealistic (maybe even cruel) to put that much pressure on someone, force them through an utterly earth-shattering realization, and then expect them to do the correct/right/responsible thing in that moment. It's a little ironic how people vilify him for that when other characters do the same thing that nobody blames for it.
Anya is the ship's nurse. Curly is the ship's captain. They both have duties and responsibilities on board the Tulpar. She has to keep the crew healthy and safe and is the only one with enough medical knowledge to do so. He has to make sure that everything goes well and goes according to procedure. He's responsible for the crew, the cargo, and even the ship itself. Both positions are integral and require a lot of responsibility to do properly
They're both put through distressing and traumatic situations where due to them being human people with emotions and fears that make them essentially avoid their responsibility/doing what's required of them.
Curly has a freeze response and doesn't act when he should have when it was crucial to have done so. Anya has a fawn response and essentially puts her patient in danger and harm's way. She knew full well what Jimmy was capable of. She experienced it herself and she witnessed it happening to Curly as well. And yet she allows Jimmy to be alone with Curly while being fully aware of how dangerous he is. Which she shouldn't have, that wasn't the 'right' thing to do. Keeping him safe was her responsibility.
But Anya's human. She's going through a lot at the moment. She's terrified of Jimmy and she's trying to appease him so he doesn't hurt her again. It's a natural very understandable thing to do even if it's not the 'right' or 'responsible' thing. They failed each other when they needed each other most and I think that's the most tragic part of it. If anything, all of them failed each other in some way, shape, or form.
So it's incredibly frustrating to see people give Anya so much sympathy and grace for doing something so human yet still 'wrong' but then turn around and give Curly none of that for doing essentially the same thing she does.
I don't know for sure if it's actually because Curly is a man or if it's only part of it or maybe some people just lack that sense of awareness but it's depressing and frustrating as fuck as a male victim of sexual violence and abuse to see this kind of behavior and this much victim blaming towards a character who is undeniably a victim of abuse like I am.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#jimcurly#jimcurl#jimmy x curly#curly x jimmy#tagging it as a ship bc I imply they have less than platonic feelings toward each other#No guy implies that his boy best friend is his home and he's his unless the two are in love#They love each other#it's an abusive and toxic codependent relationship#but what they feel for each other is genuine#anyway#Typical Mouthwashing trigger/content warnings obviously
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Maybe...Reader gets real angry at guarddog!ghost and make him sleep on the blanket. Or not letting him on couches/beds.
Because if they want to play it like this, she's alright. Actually, she has a second collar for Johnny.
Maybe
i was wanting to play with this idea ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°) -> more here
He's gawping at the sight before him.
"What's goin' on here?"
When Soap came home, he wasn't really expecting anything different. Just you, your dog, and a nice warm welcome back from the both of you. But not this. He was expecting anything else but this.
Kneeling on the ground, below the couch and right next to your feet is Ghost, not in his usual spot on the couch where you would normally be sitting in his lap. Soap raises his brow curiously at the adorable disgruntlement on your face compared to the content amusement radiating off of the lieutenant turned guard dog.
"I'm in the doghouse," Ghost informs, tone oddly facetious considering the obvious trouble he's in with you. In fact, he appears proud when he twists to look up at you from his spot on the ground. "'Parently I was 'barking too much' whatever the hell that means. Just pointed out a few flaws in 'er logic about something."
You're quick to rebuke him. "Hey, I told you if you were going to bark, at least do it properly."
Soap can't hold back his amused smile at how assertive you sound. He looks to Ghost to see his reaction, and instead of acting chastised, there's a flippant sort of glee tinged with arousal when he speaks again, slow and dark, "Woof, woof, pet."
You squint at the endearment, silently debating with yourself if you should do something about the cheek, but ultimately let it slide. Soap shakes his head in disbelief, but also chuckles much like Ghost did. He walks over, stopping by the kneeling man, exchanging a knowing smirk with him.
"Why don't you go easy on the dog?" Soap suggests, taking on a more lenient approach as he pats Ghost's head, sharing an amused look with him. "He's always been a good boy, hasn't he?"
"Woof," Ghost repeats, pointedly looking at you.
"See?" Soap points out. "Obedient!"
"Keep talking and I'll put a collar on you too, MacTavish," You threaten, turning your ire on him. "Make you both sleep on a blanket instead of the bed."
An interesting thought, but as much as he likes seeing this side of you, he and Ghost will have to keep you humble before you bite off more than you can chew.
"Careful, sweets." Soap chuckles lowly, deepening his voice in that way that makes your thighs clench. He hears you gulp and an amused huff from Ghost as he flashes his canines, leaning a shadow over you and forcing you to look up at him from the couch. He lets his smile widen into something a little feral. "I gave you Ghost to take care of because he's good for first time dog owners. He's quick to listen and willing to please, but I don't think you can handle two dogs. Got that?"
You swallow thickly, properly chastened, and weakly nod your head. "Yes, sir."
"Good girl."
-
sorry in this au i think ghost is gonna be the only dog, although maybe you're all a little dog-coded here. also you and ghost would be the only dogs soap likes.
#bangus answers#liminsendhelp#soap x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#141 sweet treat <3
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okay hi sorry i need to talk about the lucanis romance for a moment and why i think it's absolutely perfect. spoilers below the cut ofc
so obviously there are a limited number of romance scenes. i really do believe in the case of lucanis' romance this lends itself to telling his story.
we learn through party banter with him and emmerich that his relationship with rook is his first. and that's not suprising really, he's an assassin. he faces death constantly and aside from the fact that he could die at any moment, being in a relationship gives his enemies a weak spot to exploit. love and the weakness required to accept and give it is a risk he cannot afford in his line of work.
then you add on the fact that he's been in the ossuary for a year. he was definitely sure he was never getting out of there. and then he does but he's possessed.
so here's rook. and they're flirting with him and being all enticing and he thinks they're great. but he doesn't deserve love and he certainly can't risk it. he's an abomination, he'll put them in danger. and what happens afterwards? when he goes back to taking contracts? it only takes pissing off the wrong person once for rook to be in danger. so he mostly just talks around it. tried not to think about it or aknowledge it.
and then spite breaks through for the second time. and there's rook. again. and they're soft and understanding and kind and they remind him that under everything else, all of the trauma and the fear, he's human. they make him feel so safe and he starts to let his walls down.
we can't know for sure why he pulls away in that moment, but i think it's because he reminds himself how dangerous it is for him and for rook. he wants them terribly but it's such an awful no good idea so he drags himself away.
but he still cares for them. he makes them dessert and he keeps them safe and eventually he has to admit to himself that they're not just friends anymore.
and then rook is taken into the fade by solas.
he never tells rook, you only find this out in a bellara romance, but rook is in the fade for weeks.
all that time, lucanis is there and he's just full of regret. because holy shit he's fallen in love with them and now they're gone and he should've just told them. he should've held them like he wanted. because now he can't and he never will again.
and then they're back.
and he comes into their room and his words are so simple.
"i never thought id see you again. i thought id lost you"
and obviously the rest of his dialogue can vary in this scene but all of it is SO weighted if you consider the fact that he really did think they were dead.
"i do. i know how to feel."
"it's one of the things i love about you"
"i'm not going anywhere."
he is in LOVE with them and he's tired of fighting it. he's tired of pretending he isn't. he's tired of denying himself of what he wants because he's scared. because ultimately he did lose them, despite how careful he'd been, and it hurt just the same.
"i know how to feel." because he DOES now.
so in the last battle, before you fight elgernan, he tells you again just how much he loves you. how he'll do anything he needs to to be back in your arms when it's over. because those weeks without you were torture and he never wants to do that again. he wasted all that time terrified to hurt you but you got hurt anyway. why keep pretending? why keep denying himself the person he wants more than anything in the world? he goes from 0-100 because this is so much more real now. there's so much to lose.
"i've assumed you knew my heart because it beats for you. it's been beating... when i wanted you. when i was afraid to want you... tell me this ends with me asleep in your arms and i will kill any god you ask."
this one sentence conveys EVERYTHING. all of his longing throughout the game. how long he has loved rook. he didn't say it because he was afraid. but he's not afraid anymore.
so much of lucanis' romance is about subtext. it's about the things he doesn't say rather than the things he does.
i think it's absolutely beautiful.
#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilgaurd spoilers#dragon age the veilgaurd spoilers#dragon age spoilers#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#lucanis romance#lucanis romance spoilers#datv lucanis#lucanis x rook#da4 lucanis#dragon age lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis spoilers
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I 100% agree with you that that was lazy writing. What was the point of deliberately picking someone the audience (and the 118) were familiar with to be Buck's LI when they could have picked some random. What was the point in delving into Tommy's history and his feelings, what was the point of showing him head over heels for Buck in the last ep, of getting a gift for their 6 month anniversary only to say "oh well, I figured we wouldn't last, so I'm gonna get out now before you break my heart". Why let him get that involved if Tommy's ideology was to never allow himself to move forward in the relationship because ultimately he thought it wouldn't last? It's whiplash for the audience after you saw how INVESTED Tommy was in the last ep! And how exactly is this Buck getting off the hamster wheel? This relationship has ended pretty much exactly like all his others - he gets invested, they leave! They had so much potential as a couple - seeing what it's like for two fire-fighters to date knowing they're both in risky jobs, maybe Buck having to meet/deal with Tommy's homophobic father, getting to explore a "new" character's back story instead of rehashing the same story lines from the mains as well as seeing more of how Buck deals with being in a same sex relationship. All wasted.
And since they referenced Glee, if the plan is for it to echo the Kurt/Blaine relationship in that show where they broke up so they could "explore" before getting back together, by doing so they ruined that relationship so much that by the end it wasn't satisfying that they WERE endgame - they weren't the couple we fell in love with. (And also, way to reinforce the negative stereotype of "you can't ever be long term with your first". I should let my sister, my cousin and my aunt know even though they've all been married for years to their husbands - all their first.) Even if they do decide to bring Tommy back down the line, would it even be the same relationship we fell in love with? Would we even trust the writers to stick with it and treat it well? Or if they did a final episode reunion so Buck doesn't end the series alone, how is that satisfying for the audience?
I have been watching 911 since it started, and I have always been part of the general audience up until S7 where I joined the fandom because I thought Buck/Tommy were adorable. It's the first time in years I've become invested in a couple on a show. It's the first time in years that I've dipped my toes back into a fandom. Like you, this ship inspired me to write fic again. I have a bunch of wip's waiting to be posted on ao3 and I honestly don't know if I'll finish them now. And if they have broken them up for Buddie to get together I think I'll stop watching. And not just because I never saw them as a romantic couple (I only ever saw a deep friendship) but because logistically I don't see it working. Besides the fact that I think that while they work as friends, they probably wouldn't gel as a couple, two people on the same team in a relationship? That will screw up the 118 dynamic, especially as this show looooves relationship drama. If they get in a fight, or worse, break up, then what? How would that work within the 118, unless someone transfers out, but then it's bye bye the 118 we love. And not to mention, in the only 4 months I have been in this fandom I have seen some VILE crap from the buddies, and from what I understand it they've been like that for years. And the show runners know about it, so if they go with Buddie, congratulations, you've rewarded toxic behaviour and given them a license to be worse (look at them already, going in the bucktommy tags and gloating).
I told myself after Glee ended and they royally screwed everything up that I wouldn't watch another Ryan Murphy show because he has a history of doing that sort of thing. When 911 came along I was cautious, but it looked like it would be different - more grown up if you will, especially since Ryan Murphy hasn't really been involved since season 1. I should have just gone with my gut. I just hope that, knowing these last two eps were filmed weeks before they aired, the showrunners see how popular they were and realise crap, we've made a BIG mistake. (Everyone should flood instagram and especially Facebook, whoch is more GA than most social media platforms, with RESPECTFUL comments about how devastated they are, and who knows, it might make them consider bringing Tommy back sometime in 8b - I believe they're still writing the back half of the season.)
Side note, I feel really sorry for Lou. Yeah he's going back to SWAT, and I love him in that (even though his character can be a dick sometimes) but he's said in interviews how he's tired of always being cast as "the muscle" due to his size and he seemed genuinely happy to get this role, which was exactly what he was looking for - the sweet, caring, romantic love interest role where he could show some depth, and they screwed him over (sounds like he even thought Buck and Tommy were doing well and wasn't expecting the break up until the end).
(Apologies for the long rant. But what you've been saying really resonated with me and I needed to share your sentiments.)
.
#I have nothing to add#this could have been written by me it’s literally my thoughts#bucktommy#911#tommy kinard
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Kind of funny that it's rumoured that Loviatar is/was Bane's consort during the Spellplague, because if it's true that sounds like a mess. Like she can't feel hatred or fear (or most emotions except for the pleasure she gets from sadism and and can't feel pain herself, past that she's just ice) and Bane is entirely about hatred and fear. They're both aggressive and dominating... Except Bane can't tolerate things not going his way, and if you try and hurt Loviatar she's just going to laugh and hurt you back harder and you accomplished nothing. I can only assume that either Bane enjoys being frustrated, or he just can't get over the fact that he can't get under her skin or truly dominate her as per his nature/comprehension of reality (no hate or fear!) and thus won't give up trying while she enjoys him trying...
Like... what exactly are you two getting out of this? Other than the ultimate hardcore BDSM scenes I guess.
#...and I just saw the clock#ok night time.#bed.#lore stuff#the idiot three#I want a word with Ao#edgelord hours
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watching ppl rage about house of the dragon character writing feels like opening tumblr and having war flashbacks to the game of thrones fiasco all over again
#i will say like#i feel bad for how people believed in hbo again#and as a book fan i also wanted it to be good#but i couldn't stomach watching the entirety of s01#the signs were there#txt#seeing ppl being excited about the 'dany is azor ahai' confirmation was kinda upsetting bc#i can't get over the fact that ultimately#this is meaningless#in the shows arya kills the night king#none of it matters#and george will never finish these books bc he doesn't understand his own legacy
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tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.
but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.
#qsmp neg#qsmp crit#discourse#<- for blacklists#im not grumping or anything im just musing on like. the mechanics of why everyone is so upset about the latest fight#and how it can be avoided while still keeping these fights genuinely difficult and intense#its hard because there's so many players and they all have wildly different strengths and weaknesses#so someone who could take on the code easy needs that enemy scaled differently than someone who isn't a big fighter#but it's hard to do that in a world where they interact w the same enemy#and you only have so much man-power to cater to a big server like this one#and then you bring in the big powerful items that the players can and can't access but which the admins have ultimate power over#and the fact that some of the admins themselves have lag issues or aren't super great at pvp so they accommodate that with better gear#and it starts getting messy#but for the fights themselves yeah regardless of what armour or gear or killing-methods they use there should Always be a win condition#and idk maybe there was one and we just didn't get to see it#but if that win condition is 'parents sit in the safe room with their babies while the others are overrun'#then i think there are ways to build better win conditions#anyway i love game design and player/dm interactions qsmp hire me now i want to know your behind the scenes#jk im too busy to apply#but man. i wanna nerd out so bad that sometimes i think about it
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Lloyd seeks counselling from a higher being, blåhaj (and then falls asleep on him like that one Totoro scene)
also
good.
#my blahaj was so flat because I sleep on top of him#i had to wiggle him a lot to get him somewhat normal#i still can't get over the fact that that gi has manter on it instead of master#“i am the ultimate spinjitzu manter”#good#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago shitpost#lloyd montgomery garmadon#lloyd garmadon#ninjago lloyd#lloyd ninjago
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"It is too easy to dismiss [Leonor of Navarre] as an overambitious schemer who would do anything to obtain a crown, shedding the blood of her own siblings and her subjects in order to attain the throne. However, a deeper investigation of her long lieutenancy and ephemeral reign shows a woman who fought tenaciously to preserve her place but also worked tirelessly to administer a realm which was crippled by internal conflict and the center of the political schemes of France, Aragon, and Castile. She tried to broker peace, fight off those who opposed her, repair the wounds caused by conflict, protect the sovereignty of the realm, and keep the wheels of governance turning. Leonor was not always successful in achieving all of these aims but given the background of conflict and the lack of cooperation she received from all of her family members, bar her loyal husband, it is a huge achievement that she survived to wear the crown at all. Many writers have argued that Leonor deserved the troubled lieutenancy, personal tragedies, an ephemeral reign, and a blackened reputation, basing their assumption that she committed a crime that cannot be [conclusively] proven. However, a more fitting description of her would be that of a resolute ruler who successfully overcame a multitude of challenges in order to survive in a difficult political landscape and gain a hard-fought throne.”
-Elena Woodacre, "Leonor of Navarre: The Price of Ambition", Queenship, Gender and Reputation in the Medieval and Early Modern West, 1060-1600 (Edited by Zita Eva Rohr and Lisa Benz)
#historicwomendaily#leonor of navarre#15th century#Navarrese history#my post#I mean...the crime can't be explicitly 'proven' but Leonor DID have the means motive and opportunity; she had the most to gain;#the timing was incredibly convenient for her; and most contemporaries believed she was responsible.#She *did* ultimately act against her brother [Carlos] and sister [Blanca]#Though of course the fact remains that:#1) The final responsibility lies with Juan the Faithless: he was the King; the one in power; and the one who rejected Navarre's succession#Blanca herself - while criticizing Leonor and Gaston - placed the ultimate blame on their father as her 'principal...destructor'#All three siblings were reacting to an unconventional disruption in the system caused by Juan & their actions should be judged accordingly.#2) I am hesitant to believe accusations of 'poison' as a cause of murder given how that was commonly used to slander controversial women#and given how it contributed to the dichotomy of Blanca as a tragic beautiful heroine and Leonor as her scheming ambitious sister#3) Even if Leonor DID commit the crime (imo she was at the very least complicit in it) she is still worthy of a reassessment.#I don't think it's fair for it to define her entire identity#Because it certainly did not define her life - she lived for decades before and would live for decades after#It was on the whole one of the many series of obstacles and challenges she had to face before she succeeded in ascending the throne.#The fact that she died so soon after IS ironic but it is in equal parts tragic. And we don't know what Leonor herself felt about it:#Did she think it was a hollow victory? Or did she feel nothing but satisfaction that she died as the Queen of Navarre? We'll never know.#Whatever the case: given her circumstances the fact that she survived to wear the crown itself was an achievement#It's funny because Woodacre parallels Leonor to Richard III in terms of 'blackened' reputations for 'unproven' (...sure) crimes#(thankfully she admits Richard has been long-rehabilitated; what she doesn't bring herself to admit is that he's now over-glorified)#But I don't think this parallel works at all for the exact reasons she uses to try and reassess Leonor#Namely: Richard was the one in power. He was the King. The ultimate blame for what happened to his nephews was his own.#and moreover: Richard's actions against the Princes DID define his reign and were exactly what provoked opposition to his rule.#Any so-called 'rehabilitation' that doesn't recognize and emphasize this is worthless#also if we want to get specific: the Princes were literal children who did nothing and were deposed in times of peace.#Carlos and Blanca were adults with agency and armies and Leonor's actions against them took place in the middle of a civil war#So ultimately I think Leonor's case is fundamentally very different and I don't think her comparison holds well at all
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idk if or when I will post my OCxJJ fic but what you gotta understand is, that
JJ "we would find each other in every universe" Maybank x Eno "this is my single one shot at happiness, one wrong decision and this goes south" Carter
just slaps fucking hard to me and I can't even explain it without going on a tanget.
#stfu echo#it's the fact that I tried#I have so many AUs for them that I have written out or just drafted and just the tiniest change will cause a ripple effect that will cause#them to eventually not be together#it's one of the greatest things I have ever accidentally accomplished#bc it's so clear#she knows it that why she works so hard to keep him#but he's just happy to be there#and when you get an AU it ultimately ends with both of them completely destroyed and incapable of finding love again bc they fumbled the one#Aaaugghhhhh it makes me wanna bite people tbh#also#yes that's her name. no I can't change it anymore even though i lowkey want to#she has been with me for over a year I can't change this
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The Billions Showrunners Go To See Bway Bmc like lgw "the problem has always been me" and they look at each other approvingly and nod like now he's getting it :) and then the squip's deactivated and everyone's embracing the realities of being a person and rejecting the idea there can be, should be, and is a set of standards to meet to get everything you want and preclude yourself from being mistreated and they're like nooo what a powerful tragedy :(
#then the nyt critic listens in on their conversation like Jot That Down Jot That Down ''jeremy deserved to stay In Crisis & bullied''#it'll be a lingering irritation with billions just like w/any other work that is supposed to earnestly engage w/anything But Then#is ultimately / reverts to being about Vibes instead when it was in fact not meant to be a work ultimately about vibes#like good news i in turn earnestly engaged with your work. that's why it's on sight#winston billions#bmc#was gonna say obviously don't know if anyone from billions went to bmc but No....daniel k isaac confirmedly did lol iconique#can't fathom the thoughts the showrunners would really have lmao#just like i have to assume their thoughts abt will as jared was the typical/superficial ''wow guy we find bothersome rude & undeserving!''#maybe it wasn't maybe it wasn't....but they did only give him a would've been one time bit part whose job was to be so rude & undeserving#like jk save for tossing in an inadvertent? misgendering of taylor for good measure quant kid 2 was wholly in the right#having him be an object to be crumpled up & thrown into the trash was Their intended bookend. but really it's that wags should die#and that winnie n tay was everything. the way quant kid 2 wasn't meant to be a character in 3x03#winston was barely handled as a preexisting character in 7x03 besides the [object to be crushed] & [computers?] angles#Except the flickers of specific interaction w/taylor; totaling like 3s overall fr; were what was most like ''yeah he's someone specific''#anyway again ''you were purporting to make something about anything but ran over that w/your Vibes Based approach in the end'' annoyance#couldn't lose in s4....yearning to be able to film winston more; which would've been him being [winston: __ everyone: get his ass]#but b/c he wasn't very available winston is presumed locked in a supply closet somewhere not invited to meetings or gatherings. works too#k&l surprised at ppl not picking up on an intended Literal Death Exception to think not Everything the main epic winner does is epic win#like well yeah sure but your show was then in fact about how all that really matters in the end was being in the superior Winner class#whereupon it's then not about your actions & their consequences so much as it's about your feelings & intentions#and it's not so much about That (relevant specifics expire 6 eps later or by the end of the season) as it is abt being that Winner#then thinking losers Could get organic aba (abuse forcing compliance) like well yeah of course!#the classic excuse about a hypothetical Conversion into winnerdom/correctness to uno reverse blame/responsibility#anyways like i said it's on sight; a testiment to that attentive & earnest enough engagement w/your work out here lmao#everything Else abt billions making it more & more incredible they had Taylor in the midst of it all#but by in fact going ''this character is supposed to Contrast w/usual 'winner' traits'' you Do disrupt that Vibes Based approach#and ofc can't consider some kind of ''oh nooo they've become fr thee Typical winner'' b/c failed step one they stay nonbinary#casting winston just as serendipitously more than billions deserved or could handle#will roland acting it tf up right away even w/quant kid 2 in a way the writing would never step up to lmfao. beautiful
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see for the thing ive observed abt the way the female-to-male predation types of portrayals happen to go, that imo for some reason use like extra stablished power dynamics to like. *justify themselves happening in the first place (like ex mothers that are yk. v straighforward menaces in a kid/teen's inmediacy), is that i will give fujimoto the acknowledgement of partially avoiding doing so by virtue of him not having much respect or shame for himself and his story analogues.
#txt#*like whay im trying to say is that i get the feeling that they use like very heightened imbalances more from the getgo to like pose them#as a threat to start as baseline ygwim?#say to continue w the mother bit. too I feel they allow the male character like if just one iota of decency#a certain jenesaisquoi subconscious safeguard that the agressor can be toppled ultimately. that it has a weakness.#like a very subtle security that they can 'be put in their place'#and to be clear im not saying that writing abt abuse has to be an exercise of cruelty or self flagellation#and self debasement regardless of it being lived or not that's not what I'm getting at.#in this mother case ive said before that they tend to make them also mentally ill but lowkey in that#Woman Illness way like yk they're throwing bpd and shit there w/o a fault. like yeah they're abusive but#how come we still get this like freudian-pseudoscience-misogynyesque portrayal like who#does this even benefit (for another post bc I think I left some things out last time).#like this powerful figure over the most weakest stages of a person that's somehow both irremediably#abusive but also by [debilitating female trait weakness here] is pitiable (ie overcome-able. send her ass#to a psychiatric).#like i hope im conveying what I'm trying to say here.#like not all stories abt abuse have to be so graphic in fact some that do can't even carry that#load you're not good or throughout enough for that you don't have that range srry 💀#and the fujimoto part like while yes [rant here abt femcharacter sexualization relative to mcharacs here]#yes makima is already denji's boss/adult(the power dynamic justification part). it's not like denji#is getting femchara of brsrkTM treatments re: assault n grooming (decency part) (not complaining)#again not everything has to be an exercise of self humiliation etc.#but if the puke kiss said at least one thing it was compromise to the portrayal 💀#that and makima just being a internally straightforward offender (not bc it makes things simpler it's that#avoids the hashtag girlabuserTM thing). like nah the way out is through on this one sorry :/#he didn't have to do that but if fujimoto's own personal shortage of self respect nourishes the art well then 💀💀
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ig my 'unpopular opinion' (hate that term) is that lwj Should feel bad about how he treated wwx, and I'm glad he does, because that pushes him to grow as a character and make difference choices in the future. he should feel bad that he sided with the passive and corrupt clans instead of trusting wwx and being more proactive in protecting all those people. on the flipside jc's grief and misery surrounding wwx never seems to include regrets about what HE could have done differently, so he doesn't undergo any of that positive character growth, he just blames everyone around him and lashes out and sinks deeper into bitterness and contempt and fury. if he had thought about the consequences of his choices a little more, maybe he could have taken some responsibility for how it all went down too and like. acted differently when wwx returned.
but despite him going on about how family/clan is more important than anything, he doesn't even try to trust wwx, he just assumes the worst of him. and ik he's being manipulated and he's got trauma related to being abandoned, and wwx wasn't the most communicative about what was happening, but clearly he was trying to protect a group of innocent people and a child, so why couldn't jc extend to wwx an iota of good faith and like. back him up since this was clearly so important to him and also there are literal farmers and a toddler being threatened with murder? jc isn't to blame for wen chao or jgy or su she's actions, but he did have a certain amount of power in his role and he seemed determined not to use it. he publicly cut ties with wwx, allowing public sentiment to build against him, and he folded easily to demands that he kill wen ning despite having an actual argument against that. obviously being attached to the burial mounds community is politically disastrous, but lwj was speaking for wwx at the time too so it's not like jc was entirely alone. if he was a great political mind like I've seen people claim he was, he also could have curried favor with jzx through jyl's connection...idk it was important to wwx and I wish jc had been able to stand up for him or at least was capable of critically analyzing his own actions after the fact
#I mean ultimately jgs probably would have tried to fight back because he wanted wwx's power so ig jc was retroactively vindicated#bc even with the lans and jiangs fighting together (dubious) they probably would have lost#but jc still didn't handle it as well as he could have and more importantly he didn't take ANY lessons from it besides#'wwx evil and the cause for all my suffering and mom was right about him'#which considering they grew up together and were so close is such a disappointment#I think claiming jc is a terrible politician based on that mess is unfair bc that was an awful situation to be in#but I can't recall any time he actually did anything with his status besides bend to the demands of larger sect leaders#or rely on wwx or jyl to smooth over situations with other political figures. so he's hardly got anything going for him#(see: the marriage proposal and the time LP got guests)#postcanon he just seems...angry and violent#which doesn't necessarily mean he's a good or strong leader idk why people seem to think it does. we've seen him be harsh to his own people#he does give a good hearing to sisi and bicao but that just entails sitting there and listening to their story#which is like. idk. bare minimum?#look jc wasn't made to be a sect leader and that's fine. its a bs position#but he also didn't undergo any personal growth because he can't face the fact that he might have been wrong and I think that sucks#and since he didn't undergo any personal growth he's this toxic and violent and cruel emotional blackmailer postcanon#which rly fucking sucks for everyone around him including jl!#also where does he get off being mad at lwj and mocking him about wwx's death. lwj didn't do ANYTHING to him jc's just mad that#he survived that one time and he transferred blame about the LP attack onto him and. also lwj tried to save wwx#ofc lwj doesn't like him because of the attempted/actual murder thing#also I don't think lwj respects him at ALL which I get. I don't respect him either#shame bc like you two had a common goal! you could have worked together for it instead of holding each other in contempt!#cql txp
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why is it so hard to recognize that all this info about bills and such is something you can acquire via googling and making phone calls to people who work in these departments and--yes!--asking them questions on what your best next step is? how does making this about systemic oppression help you or anyone else complete practical, adult tasks? when you point at a paper bill from a medical institution and declare it fundamentally classist, does the bill magically crumple into the dust, the issue dealt with and over because you aptly named the systemic issue at play? no!
do you get angry at mechanics when they tell you they have an idea regarding how your car could be fixed, also? how does that help you? what have you learned from deciding to be angry as opposed to using the information dealt to you? perhaps you should not be told by cashiers either about when the sales happen or how items are put on clearance lest their Insider Knowledge tell you something you don't know and--gasp--come from a place of privilege.
the point of my info and OP's is practical use. "if you have this problem, [x] might solve it." privilege or no, how the info is acquired doesn't matter as much as whether or not it's accurate and helps people. and despite your daftness, i very much hope any of this info helps YOU. or if not you, then someone you know. or someone completely random, i don't give a damn.
Ok so my kid had an ear infection, right? As kids often do.
The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.
I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.
That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this "procedure". And, as I OWN a medical practice (it's me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like "You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn't. I'm not paying."
And the massive hospital who owned the bill said "yuh-huh you do have to pay."
And I said "I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this."
And they conducted an "internal review" and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.
And so I called my state's Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.
Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.
"How not to get screwed over by companies" should be part of civics class.
Know your rights and know who to call when they're infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.
May this knowledge find its way to someone else who can use it.
#the interest in ... what#wanting to talk theory or contemplate classism#over just taking the info and using it#is just stupid#there's a time for theory and then there's a time#for using your head.#some problems exist in the real world and need solving now#and other problems are the kinds of things you write essays about because they're not currently an active threat to you#and if you are focusing on writing essays about systemic issues rather than applying practical fixes available to you#do you think yelling to a void will whisk your problems away?#i didn't learn anything about insurance by being in healthcare b/c that's not my job and my job has nothing to do with that#maybe if i worked in the billing department you could attempt to say something about privelige then but EVEN then#privilege ... what???? where's the systemic privelige you cyclops i'm trying to share info with you#not use what i've seen at my job to privately benefit just myself at the expense of others#with intent to ensure others don't have access to it#in fact the reason i even bothered telling you (as i have told many others IRL) is so other people could know and use the same info#aka leveling the playing field/spreading the wealth etc.#bah. it doesn't matter. or more specifically you don't matter. you seem like the sort of#person who would attempt#to drown themself in a fish bowl in an attempt to angrily prove a point#that ultimately effects no one and only harms yourself#you can lead the horse to water but you can't make it drink etc etc#you are a horse fleeing a creek at top speed neighing angrily all the way about how someone knowing about the creek is privelige#what on earth do you think you're proving you clown#things i've actually learned at my job: what happens behind the scenes when it's decided you are an Emergency emergency case and need#to be operated on in less than 2 hours lest you die#and the sheer magnitude of how many people on all levels get involved to make that happen#the amount of phone calls that made and so on and so forth#and how to tell someone at a hospital that you want to go somewhere else#which is something your average person does 24/7 my info is just Yeah Keep Insisting Till It Happens
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Therapy Game
#love is casual and found in the little things#it's gradual and not a sudden burst but built by things you notice and small actions they do#also i love how shizuma stands up and is prepared to take action for the things he believes in i find that very courageous#therapy game#i ♡ casual intimacy#like gosh taking a picture of the ferry#those panels mightve just perfectly captured the feelings of forming a crush#manga#shizuma is quite literally golden standard#today he is like what science was to the ancient ages#i swear#naninikip dibdib ko sa chapter 5 😭#the male leads this author writes are simply too good#okay wow i didnt expect to cry over the mansion being bought by itsuki plus the queens' recording PLS#the humanistic point of view minato gets is beautiful#realising that yes intrinsic things and his childhood experiences can and will affect him in ways he can't help#but ultimately a support system and his own perspectives and choice in the matter trumps it all#that he can change and mend anything and it may affect him but truly nothing from his past can /ruin/ him or his relationships#'so if it's dumb either way why not be dumb and happy?'shohei you absolute treasure#theyre such a good example of a healthy relationship and the fact that it isn't all sunshine and rainbows or one that is perfect and is#basically uneventful#(well it can be that but yk what i mean)#it's something that bends and mends and molds something two people need to learn and relearn and contort to to get used to#love is a choice and a daily reminder 👍
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This is something I love SO much about Kuro, and about Dunmeshi's portrayal of Bilingualism.
Like ... When we first meet Kuro it's so easy to assume he's a dummy. He's a big doofy-looking dog man that only talks about food, and his sentences are disjointed and broken, so you think oh, haha, token dumb character.
But then we swap to speaking Kobold and it hits you like a truck - Kuro is a person, and he has a full and complete train of thought that he can articulate. This is a grown ass man, and in his native language he speaks just as well as anybody - not only that, but here we see that Kabru, who is usually so good with words, speaks Kobold just as poorly as Kuro does common.
It's such an easy, obvious, and common trope to depict broken speech in a characters non-native language as a funny gag at the expense of their intelligence - not even just in fiction! Making fun of non-native English-speakers for their broken English is so fucking common and normalized - and here you have such a clear and simple portrayal that, no, in fact, Kuro isn't stupid.
And the thing is, common is common for a reason, right. In general high fantasy, "Common" means "Language that is effortless for everyone to speak". But in Dunmeshi, it's explicit that Kobolds can't fully learn Common - Common is designed for Humans, but Kobolds are demi-humans with different mouths and throats that don't allow them to enunciate in the same way.
And yet Kuro is doing his best to study it. He's going out of his way to master a skill most others don't even have to think about. Speaking of which ...
We get this exchange between him and Kabru, which I also wanted to focus on.
Because when we first see Kuro, then portrayed as a simple-minded dummy, it's easy to think that Mickbell is taking advantage of him and Kuro is unaware. Here, Kabru even assumes they can't truly be friends unless they speak the same language perfectly.
But that's not really the case - Mickbell isn't taking advantage of Kuro, not in the way we (and the rest of the party) assume - because Kuro isn't as stupid as we assume. He's thankful to Mickbell, he wants to repay him, and the food is a nice perk - but ultimately he cares about Mickbell enough to put this much effort into learning a whole language for him (while Mickbell cares about him in his own way, though since Mickbell grew up without a family or friends, it usually just manifest in over protectiveness and a fear of losing him. His goal in life is to buy a house for them to live in together. Cmon.)
I think generalising Kuro and Mickbell's relationship as unhealthy (whether you perceive it as romantic or not) is doing a massive disservice to Kuro's intelligence due to his speech - something Kui goes out of the way to disprove.
I love these idiots.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#kuro dungeon meshi#kuro dunmeshi#kuro delicious in dungeon#kabru dungeon meshi#kabru dunmeshi#kabru delicious in dungeon#mickbell#mickbell dungeon meshi#mickbell dunmeshi#mickbell delicious in dungeon#kabru
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