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jules-ln · 4 months

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Sorry Anon, the post was too long so I decided to make it its own post instead of an answer

Let me write my Bible because I have thought about this more than I should and I'm mentally ill

First the silence of the girls

I'm going be honest and say that while I don't like this book, I can recognize that is very well written and author makes it very interesting

But!

The girls were silenced indeed 😅

Like, if you're going to market your book as a "feminist" retelling of the Iliad I'll expect your level of feminism to be more advanced than what Homer was writing

Don't get me wrong, I know that women and children are often overlooked at wars specially in a historical context, but what Pat Barker was presenting as feminism was simply "Women suffer more than men in wars 😥" and that is the same thing that Homer was saying hundreds of years ago, more than that, I'd say that Homer did it better

And you know, it's supposed to be a feminist retelling, so I was expecting sorority to be a thing, specially because the only other source of comfort, respect and friendship a woman like Briseis could have had then would've been other enslaved women

But no, we don't really see sorority in the greek camps for more than a couple of paragraphs at best, and I got the feeling that some women characters were just genderbents of the male heroes, like Odysseus's enslaved woman is clever, Nestor's enslaved woman is maternal, florals for spring? groundbreaking

More than that, in the Iliad there is a character named Iphis that is Patroclus's enslaved woman and Briseis mentioned being close friends with her. So you expect that being a close friend of the protagonist she should have a lot of dialogue, specially in conversations with Briseis, don't you think?

Bish, I don't even remember her talking at all to begin with, much less to Briseis! 🤣

The only meaningful relationship Briseis has in the book are Achilles and Patroclus, her life orbits around these men and the other women don't matter

And that leads me to my other point

Briseis doesn't do ANYTHING.

Now, I know, I know, I know. Briseis doesn't do anything in the Iliad either, but that's some of the problems I have with Iliad adaptations.

Like, none of them will EVER be as good as the Iliad, to any writer that think that they can make an adaptation of the Iliad be as good as the Iliad. Sit down, you aren't that guy

So really, they should just do what MM did. Do your own thing that can stand on its own without hanging on the Iliad. Even if it's different, that's a good thing

Now, I say all of that because, it would've been Good if Briseis did something, ANYTHING at all other than stand there and look pretty

You might say "it's accurate to the Iliad" I say "A protagonist that doesn't do anything at all and doesn't influence the world around them in any way is boring"

There was even this part where Briseis wonders about how much control Patroclus has over Achilles, And I was here like "Yesssss, Briseis is going to emotionally manipulate Patroclus to control Achilles so she can be the one who is actually in control of both"

Nope, that, didn't happen, like, at all

Even at some point the narrative kicks Briseis out of the story to focus on Achilles and Patroclus, and like, feminism where? 😅

Once again that leads to my next point. Patroclus and Achilles part was more interesting.

Unironically, the best part of the book was the relationship that both had, it was the type of relationship that was like "I love you, but ngl I kinda hate you and want to kill you too unironically" And I think that's interesting! That's new, I've never read anything like that regarding those two before!

But that's a problem, because when I bought the book I wanted to read about women, I wanted to read about Briseis, not about Achilles and Patroclus, and that the author made them SOOOO much more interesting than Briseis, is just sad

Then there's the problem of the rapes scene, which, in this day and age if you're going to add a rape scene in anything, you better have some freaking good reason. And in this book, they're there for mere shock value, it doesn't give anything to the story, it doesn't change the tone of the book, a good editor would've take them out, but I guess it was part of the "feminist" message 🙄

But really, I don't hate the book, like I said, it's well written in my opinion, but it is a disappointing book because it could've been a great book with some tweaks here and there

Now about The song of Troy

ACHILLES YOU SON OF A BITCH FUCKING LIPLESS MUPPET I HATE YOU Y SI CIEN AÑOS VIVO CIEN AÑOS CHINGAS A TU MADREEEEE

Now that we got that out of the way

See, the thing is that I've read the song of Troy some time ago, and I mostly rage read it so I don't remember it very well

Like I hated it SO MUCH it it it Flames flames FLAMES on the side of my head (yes, it's a reference) so I'm just going to say the things I remember that made me mad

🔸️Helen is the prime example that writing women that don't suck ass ISN'T an innate skill in women, like she was one of the most misogynistic characters that I've ever read and if I was Menelaus in this book, I would be happy that she was gone, bon voyage biatch!

🔸️Both the book and Achilles treat Patroclus like Trash

🔸️The story treats Achilles like an uwu boy that can do no wrong when in reality in the book he's an idiotic asshole estúpido kbron hijo de la chingada pinche mamon bastardo agarras tu espadita la haces rollito y te la metes por el culo pendejo de mierda. Yeah, I don't like Achilles in this book

🔸️Odysseus is written to allegedly be very smart, sadly in actuality he's very dumb, because you see, the whole thing about the fight between Agamemnon and Achilles was an elaborate plot by him to get the Trojans to come out if I remember correctly, now, I think any good good tactician will tell you that an overly elaborate plan that will result in like half of your men dying with no guarantee of it being successful anyway, isn't so smart

🔸️Briseis was written so badly... I'm just going to put it this way, at some point in the book Achilles hits her, and that was the best fucking thing Achilles did in that book, like yess fucking muppet slap that bitch again. Oh but don't worry, Briseis in the book was ok with being slapped and not in a kinky way

🔸️Helen hits Andromache, and so did Hector. I'm going to leave it at that

🔸️I don't remember too well because at this point the fog of rage was too thick, but I think Achilles and Hector kinda fell in love when they were fighting? Which was very weird

So make yourself a favor and don't read it

If you want a good adaptation read these

🔹️War music by christopher logue, it isn't finished because sadly the author died, but best adaptation I've read so far

Here's a quote I like:

"When Nyro’s mother heard of this

She shaved her head; she tore her frock; she went outside

Ripping her fingernails through her cheeks:

Then down her neck; her chest; her breasts;

And bleeding to her waist ran round the shops,

Sobbing:

‘God, kill Troy.

Console me with its death.

Revenge is all I have.

My boy was kind. He had his life to live.

I will not have the chance to dance in Hector’s blood,

But let me hear some have before I die.’

‘I saw her running round.

I took the photograph.

It summed the situation up.

He was her son.

They put it out in colour. Right?

My picture went around the world.’"

🔹️La cólera by Javier Olivares and Santiago García, is a comic in Spanish, but if you can get your hands on one copy, do it, it's so good and the art is beautiful, one of the best portrayals of Achilles I've seen, Pyrrha also appears

🔹️An Iliad, by Denis O'Hare and Lisa Peterson, is a play, and tbh I don't like this one as much as I do the other two, but it is SOOO GOOD too.

🔹️En mitad de tanto fuego by Alberto Conejero, this one is a play; short and sweet and the narrator is Patroclus, very new too, and as far as I know it's only in Spanish, but if you can get it, do so, because it's very good.

Let me translate a part of it to the best of my abilities to tempt you a bit

"How short was life, how short... Now bury me as soon as possible so I can cross the gate of Hades. Bury me, Achilles. And if someone in the future finds my tomb and opens it, let them see how smoke comes out of my shroud still. Because of the desire, Achilles, because of the desire"

#ramblings #greek mythology #iliad #tagamemnon #trojan war #achilles #patroclus #patrochilles #book recommendations #feminism #the silence of the girls #book critique #briseis

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that-left-turn · 3 months

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I got a couple of asks on billing, but as I started writing this post, I realized it'll be longer than a year of hunger, so I have to break it up into separate points/posts.

“Melissa is fine with being second billed after Norman. Suggesting she's not is to say that she's weak.”

Melissa is anything but weak, but she's still subject to the same sexism/misogyny and ageism as other women. She works in a male dominated industry and the sci-fi/fantasy & horror space in particular is difficult for women. There aren't a lot of allies. If you work within that niche, it's very easy to start believing the things you're told (directly or indirectly) about your own worth and talents.

Melissa is bombarded—has been since TWD first gained traction—with the messaging that Norman is the star. He's the one people love, the one the fans show up for. The one people travel for hours to catch a glimpse of on set. She's lucky to be a part of the production, especially since she has social anxiety and the studio is so nice to be this accommodating to her needs. She's not able to promote in the way Norman does, so who is she to expect fair and equal treatment for the work she does put into the storytelling and the acting?

Being second billed in the title credits means that Melissa is less than Norman to the show. Less money, less influence on story direction, less authority on the set. She is the supporting lead, not the star. Even the title tells the audience and anyone working on the show that.

Melissa puts effort into crafting Carol's arc. The things she recently mentioned at Tribeca, about going out to mingle among people to observe their behavior? That's research on the actor's part and a good actor does a lot more than memorize lines. That's part of what I mentioned in a previous post about how 'creatives' (I hate that studio invented word 🙄) put in a lot of unpaid hours of work.

Why should she settle for playing second fiddle to the show's "real star," when she invests at least as many hours of prep into the show as he does, when she carries the bulk of the show's emotional arc and to judge by the coverage of the second season, is responsible for the surge of attention? Isn't she owed equal recognition despite not having a penis or being vocal about her mistreatment?

A woman can't say the things Norman or JDM do. You get labeled 'difficult to work with,' a diva or a bitch. Lauren Cohan's fight with AMC over the pay gap was well-publicized and maybe the GA doesn't understand why she came back to the franchise? I believe there's a comment out there by Kim Dickens about returning, where she basically says that as an actor, you can't afford to bear grudges. What she doesn't say, is that her comment pertains to female actors (and most POC).

As a woman in the industry, you bite your tongue often. You smile when you don't feel like it and you say complimentary things about people you despise simply to be able to keep working. You don't want to be "overreacting," or "too emotional" or "too sensitive" when your 'competition' (aka your coworkers) step all over you, or "make a fuss." You get fired or blacklisted for less than what the TWDU men aren't shy of saying in public.

It's also complicated for Melissa because she likes Norman. He's her friend. She doesn't want to damage their relationship by complaining to the bosses (who may have a 'buddy' relationship with her costar) and like I said above, Melissa believes he is the star of the show. Why wouldn't she? She's been inundated with subliminal messaging for over a decade, along with the usual studio behavior to make sure women stay in line and know their place. That place is always below/after the men.

None of that makes Melissa weak. Quite the contrary. She's kept Carol alive and more than relevant, despite repeatedly being sidelined, which takes a savvy woman. Someone who's talented and smart.

#caryl #tv production #tboc #tv show billing #melissa mcbride #twdu misogyny #twdu sexism #workplace sexism

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rukafais · 8 months

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i heard liriel's better written than drizzt but that came from drizzt haters so i wanted to ask your opinion as someone reading his prequels and eyeing her trilogy?

I think Liriel is very solid, and certainly the most well-written of Elaine Cunningham's works, though it has some odd tropes that Drizzt avoids...the most egregrious one off the top of my head is the tendency to, at least in the first book, have pretty much every drow dude except her dad want to sexually assault her or be attracted to her in some way; for example, her old male tutor is implied to be a lecher who's kind of got the hots for her, and one of the main antagonists, a Vhaeraunite, keeps a harem of surface elf women and wants Liriel for himself so he can uh. Put babies in her.

“Then you will lead the search to find her,” the wizard told him smoothly. “However, you are not to kill her. She is too important for that, both for the magic she wields and the children she may bear to follow Vhaeraun. You know the importance of bringing drow females into the Night Above. I will not have her destroyed.” Gorlist scowled.

“There are more ways than one to humble the little princess,” Nisstyre said softly. “I want this female for Vhaeraun, and for my own pleasure, but I am not averse to sharing. In time, you shall have your revenge.”

A lot of the weirder shit I object to is kind of like, stuff you find out either if you're reading books that are not Liriel OR you're reading the absolutely bonkers shit Elaine says as an author about her books or about DnD worldbuilding.

There's an odd tendency sometimes for characters to simply forget about other characters once they're out of the story too imo but that doesn't affect Liriel...that much. BUT the Liriel books themselves are pretty solid!

I think to an extent Liriel works best as a companion piece to Drizzt, as they're in direct conversation with each other. Much of Gromph's characterisation that forms the base for his stuff in later Drizzt books started here, and Liriel's perspective as a scion of the First House with an actual social life offers some valuable insights on what it's like for priestesses with more social standing and the usual conditions at Arach-Tinilith.

As for it being better (or worse, i guess) than drizzt, it's a silly comparison for people to make. Liriel was made to be as different from Drizzt as possible so it's apples to oranges. The two authors have different writing styles and different goals in that writing. I certainly prefer Drizzt more, but Liriel's books were pretty good regardless.

#rukamemes

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wlkingtravesty · 2 months

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[ evan mock, cis male, he/him ] — whoa! KYLAN THRONDSEN just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for HIS WHOLE LIFE, working as a/an BARTENDER AT JOE’S TAVERN. that can’t be easy, especially at only 28 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit IMPULSIVE and SELF DESTRUCTIVE , but i know them to be ADVENTUROUS and COMEDIC RELIEF. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to QUEENS!

jail tw, drug use mention tw, bad parenting tw

From the moment Kylan was born, the kid had been nothing but a headache. He was a fussy kid, constantly crying, never letting anyone around him get much seep, and to make matters worse, he was never supposed to be born. He was the result of a heated hook up between two strangers who were both drunk and in the moment. His dad was a leader singer of a famous rock band, and his mom was one of the many women who wanted him. It was both as simple and complicated as that.

His dad tried to be around as much as possible, given how busy his schedule was, but he had some habits that his mother did not want brought around once Kylan was born. Plus, the fought like cats and dogs. Growing up, though, Kylan always enjoyed when his did would come visit. He loved the music his did sang, wrote, was involved in and from a young age the kid dreamed of also stepping in his shoes. Much to his mother's dismay, and she did everything in her power to try to drill that out of Kylan's mindset.

Try as she might though, it never truly worked. He was too much of a rebellious spirit and always found ways to live how he wanted to live. Free, without the norms of society bringing him down, and under his own authority. Growing up, he was always looked at as the 'trouble kid' because of how he dressed, the music he listened to, the way he thought, and his group of friends. Funny thing is, as much as he did hate the system, Kylan wasn't out here trying to fight the world. He just wanted to live and write songs. Guilty by association, Kylan was always in some sort of trouble for something, and that luck carried on in his life.

At the age of fifteen, Kylan formed his first band with a close group of friends and became the lead singer. Thanks to one of the times his father was visiting, Kylan got his first tattoo when he was sixteen. The collection only grew after that, now covering his arms and other parts of his body. He got his first piercing at seventeen, and that has also since grown. And when he was eighteen, he went to jail for the first time. He was caught trespassing with a group of friends, tagging the walls of an abandoned building, and sentenced to a year.

Jail wasn't the worst experience for him, it was not the best, it was simply an experience. The only thing that did get him into trouble from time to time was his mouth; he had a nasty habit of not knowing when to let things go and often argued back if heated enough. Once he was out, he goes on to couch surf a bit, his mom wanted nothing to do with him anymore. At twenty-one he meets someone he ends up living with for a couple of years. They end up being on and off again about everything. They would hook up, then stop, date for two months, break up for one, live together, he'd be kicked out, he'd come back, and the cycle just continued for a couple of years.

It wasn't until he was twenty-four that he finally broke things off with this person and has strictly been trying to keep things friendly between them since then. They will always be special to him, that could never change no matter how many fights they had. And he began to focus more on his music again, diving entirely into it, and keeping as good of a relationship with his father as he could. The man was retired now from performing, but he had a whole other family to care for. When he turned twenty-six, he joined a band called The Dead Regime and has been a member since.

He began living by himself at twenty-six as well and has since adopted a cat and dog as roommates. He started working as a bartender at Joe's Tavern, too, and has grown to love the place. Most of the time his mind is preoccupied thinking of inspo for a new song or simply lost in the sound of drums, guitars, and a roaring crowd in his head. He still loves a good party, prefers it, and occasionally sells drugs to those who ask.

Personality:

he is the kind of person who is quiet at first, until he's not. not many people give him the chance to show that he's more than the inked covered canvas he's turned himself into, more than the voice he booms so passionately into the mic, more than just wanting to fuck the system. he is kindhearted, understanding, and compassionate. he's known to be both patient and impulsive. he's the kind of guy that if you ghost him for too long, and he deeply cares about, he will show to your house and climb through your bedroom window to get your attention. he loves 80s heavy metal, but also a mix of some hip hop in there. he doesn't go looking for trouble, but he also doesn't shy away from it.

Headcanons:

The Dead Regime plays every other weekend, so he is constantly at band practice and focusing on writing a song. He can be very zoned out sometimes, even at work, but it's just because his mind is constantly whirling for inspiration.

He loves both his cat and his pup. Obsessed. Seriously. His cat is named "Autumn" and his dog named "Pepper". If you follow him on Instagram, chances are you have seen his pet spam.

He will spray paint a wall if given the chance. It's just in his nature to want to spruce things up if they look dull, and he's clearly not learned his lesson from being in jail.

He is a sucker for sarcastic dry sense of humors.

#boroughs.intro #drug use mention tw #jail tw #bad parenting tw

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ghoastixx · 1 year

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hihihihi

i have a request for you!!

Labyrinth

jareth x aromantic male reader

where it’s just the reader doing the labyrinth but their having so much fun rather than stressing like sarah did !!

so yknow when jareth asks sarah to stay with him? (i haven’t seen the movie in a bit but i think this happened) the reader just agrees because they’re having so much fun and actually enjoy having jareth as a friend 💅

Jareth x aromantic male reader

Author’s note: hi!!! Thank you for the request :)))) I love when I get requests, it makes my blog a lot more lively in my opinion. Writing for aro readers is something that I have never done, but this simply thrills me. I’d be more than happy to do this! I’m more of a romcom reader myself but would absolutely devour a friendship fic if there were more.

Like- oh my god I love this prompt so much?? This is so fun???

Warnings: none at all, just tooth rotting fluff

———————————————————————————-

As soon as Jareth sees that you are not showing a bit of interest in him, he lays off.

He may be a hopeless romantic, but no use hitting on someone who has not shown the slightest bit of romantic interest in him.. but he’s still very curious about you.

Like- who is this guy??? Why is he not panicking??? Does he not understand the intensity of this situation?????

why are you having fun??? >:|

You confuse him.. he likes you.

“He’s reached the gates.. he shouldn’t of made it this far, he should’ve given up by now.” “He’ll never give up!” “Will he?”

You’re just being so nice??? So happy?? Like- this is just a normal Tuesday for you??

Once you beat him, he gives out his little speech. “Fear me, love me, do what I say, and I will be your slave.”

Much to his dismay! You agree to stay!!

You don’t want to be his king though </3

He throws a little tantrum about it at first but eventually gets over it.

(Please we’ve all seen his hair, he’s a drama queen and we all know it)

You now play a very important part in his labyrinth. You are his court.

He’d come to you with propositions, issues, royal stuff.

He’d probably try to get you to help lure humans away with your friendly nature.

“Yo Jareth!” You stormed into the room flooding with goblins. Usually this would get the king riled up, but he didn’t care.

“Yes, Y/n?” He hummed, sitting haphazardly on his throne.

“Your runner fell through one of the holes you have in the maze.” He looked at you.

“Which one?”

“How many are there?”

“A lot.”

“Well shit-“

“Did they say anything important?” He looked at him, he seemed tired and fed up, but holding a civil conversation was very nice.

“Uh- no. Not really. Mostly just “I have to save Cleo! Oh naurrrr!” Jareth put a hand on his face and chuckled a bit.

“You have way too much fun with this-“

“I can’t help it!” He sat on one of the windows and watched the goblins run ramped, as they harassed the kiddo.

“Jareth?”

“Hm?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask- why is there a chicken in here?” Jareth looked at the other male very sternly.

“The goblins like to throw things at it.”

“HOW DID IT GET HERE!”

“I DON’T KNOW, IT’S VERY OLD.”

If he ever has time off, let him show you around the labryinth

He’d show you little secrets to lure other people through.

Look- he’s gotta make this fun for the both of you. Work is work, he’s allowed to have fun with it to.

He likes to watch you lead the runners off path, it’s very fun. You’re very convincing.

THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL TO THE RUNNER IS AT THE VERY END.

Jareth and the runner are face to face and all of a sudden, you, Jareth’s right hand man come lurking from the shadows.

Runner: shocked

Jareth: smug

You: having way too much fun.

“You’re working with him!? How could you?! I trusted you?!”

“Eh-“

You’re not evil- you did help the runner, a lot. But you need to have fun too, right?

Jareth would be a very good partner in crime.

__________________________

-Ghoastix

#fanfic #fanfiction #jareth the goblin king #the labryinth fanfic #labryinth #jareth x reader #the goblin king

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sunriseverse · 11 months

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complaint time? complaint time! let's talk about my annoyance relating to sapphic, especially lesbian, characters, relationships, and mxtx! because apparently, i love kicking hornet's nests these days (this isn't new, i just usually confine it to dms). this got long, my apologies, so it's going below the cut.

first off, i'd like to clarify that i am not talking about fanfic that makes mxtx characters sapphic/lesbians. i think that's great. i love rule 63. if you want to write these men in an au where they are sapphic, i have been there and support you wholly. this isn't what that's about, though—this is specifically about mxtx.

i've seen the same sentiment over and over trying to go through the chinese gl tag (baihe): people wishing mxtx would write about sapphic characters, wishing that mxtx would write sapphic novels, etc. and honestly, this pisses me off for a few reasons: my thoughts on how mxtx handles lgbt characters generally, the way that these posts clog the tag, and, finally, the way people going "wish mxtx wrote sapphic novels :( too bad she didn't, i guess there's no sapphic cnovels!" cheapens the extant, vibrant baihe field.

one: my thoughts on how mxtx handles lgbt characters

first of all, i'd like to preface this by saying this is only going off of what i know about mxtx, and mxtx works. as far as i'm aware, mxtx is a straight woman, writing about same-sex male relationships. she's the author of svsss, mdzs, and tgcf. i don't know if she's written anything else, but for this post, that doesn't really matter. let's go over these, shall we? mdzs' main couple has a rape kink, svsss' main couple is a teacher-student relationship, and tgcf's main couple is a man who saved a young child who later grew up to worship him. this isn't a judgement—i am a tgcf fan, so i'll be upfront about that; i think the way that specific scenario is handled in canon makes sense, and isn't objectionable to me specifically because of the way it's handled. i haven't finished svsss, and i haven't read mdzs, so i can't make commentaries there. i simply say this to point out the fact that, generally, mxtx couples play into a number of uncomfortable stereotypes about gay men, especially that their sex lives must be particularly "freakish", or that they must be older men pursuing younger men, especially those who idolise them. whether or not this is the message intended in these works, and whatever the characters themselves may think about these situations, they are not their own, real people; they are characters created specifically to be the way they are, by an author who is not a gay man. you can probably see why i, as a lesbian, do not want her writing lesbian characters specifically, and sapphic characters generally.

point two: posts like these clog the tags

any time i scroll the baihe tag, i inevitably run into at least one post where people wish that mxtx would write sapphic characters. while i understand wanting your favourite author to write about characters you feel better represented by, the truth of the matter is that when people make these often-one line posts that aren't actually related to baihe content in any way, and then tag them as #baihe, this leads to the clogging of a tag meant to be specifically filled with content about and surrounding baihe works.

point three: these posts draw attention away from extant baihe (chinese sapphic) works

as surprising as it may be, sapphic cnovels exist! there's actually a decent number of them, in fact. not many are fully translated, but there's a few big ones that are—and, i would say, the quality of the ones that have been translated are at least as good as extant mxtx fantranslations. baihe suffers from being ignored by the mainstream and official english-language publishing/translation houses, for a number of reasons that would take an entire post to even begin to try and unpick, but it does exist. however, when there's a bunch of people acting like no baihe exists and wishing their favourite danmei author would write baihe so it would exist, it creates the false illusion that baihe doesn't exist, drawing attention away from extant baihe—and thus perpetuating the tendency of those in fandom spaces to only ever talk about and promote male-centric works, and erase or marginalise female-centric works, as well as sapphic fans themselves.

in conclusion: i don't have a solution to this. i'm just frustrated by the tendency to act like mxtx is the paragon of lgbt fiction in cnovel spaces, and the way that, rather than looking for extant sapphic cnovels and characters, people seem far more willing to wish that mxtx would write sapphic novels, something that i, as an individual lesbian, think is a foolish idea, and just a generally annoying sentiment.

#okay i will get off my soapbox now. that is all.#don't click the readmore if you're not willing to see me be mxtx critical by the way.#like if you're a huge mxtx stan this post. may not be for you. lawl #i am 100% willing to discuss this topic further i just need to complain for a moment and this is as best as i can put it #c.txt

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lastwave · 2 years

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no energy or patience to write a full character study in character with plot. but i will write a lengthy post analyzing seward and his abusive tendencies because my autism rules. and unfortunately to write a good rewrite you have to have a good grasp on ur characters . so! under the read more . i have analyzed him. i break up my analyses in. semi chronological order

1. lucy

so like. seward's secondary motivation (the motivation that is easily pinpointed to keeping the character in the story) is lucy. not just because of his character but also the misogyny around lucy as a character but thats a whole other post. it'd be really easy to end it here and say sewards main motivation throughout the novel is an unrequited love and sense of dedication to her memory. but that leaves him very flat and a lot of his interactions with the main cast unexplained (how he acts with the other male leads, how he treats renfield, the fact even his proposal was so laden with self hate it became a guilt trip).

so then i need to ask. why does he propose to lucy? does he love her? it doesn't seem like it. in his proposal, he doesn't talk about lucy as a person, he talks about what she does for him. that it would make him sad if she turned him down, that he would be the happiest man in the world if she said yes. intentional or not, this isn't a profession of love, its emotional leverage. i mean. imagine if someone proposed to you like that. also keeping in mind that this is in the victorian era, its frankly a dangerous situation to put lucy in. had she not been sure that arthur was going to propose later, she wouldn't really be at liberty to say no, considering how much weight mens perceptions of a woman impacted how everyone in your social circle saw you in victorian high society. seward wouldn't even have to directly do anything, the people around her would deem her cold and uncaring for turning down the nice wealthy man propositioning her. it wouldn't even be a conscious decision on sewards part . point being, for a novel that writes a great example of a loving man in the victorian ages (jonathan), seward doesn't measure up. which leads me to my next point (i didnt even get to mention how he talks about her dead body, gross, but remember that. ok.)

2. authority figures, expectations and self esteem

so again we ask. why is he proposing? well. hes a wealthy, unmarried man nearing his 30s in victorian england. simply put that was seen as fucking weird. people start asking whats wrong with you that so many families turn you away. and seward cares a lot about his image. his image and accolades are half of what he talks about. theres three characters that are higher up the social ladder than seward is. arthur, avh, and renfield* (he gets hid own section). debatably quincey too but to be honest i think he just regards quincey as a curveball of a guy. and theres a lot of subtext implying quinceys an outlaw. again, another post.

easiest to break down is his dynamic with avh. he fawns to avh because to him, he's an authority figure. he's asking for his teacher's input, for approval. really thats what seward wants from avh, approval, that for one reason or another avh can't directly give (amsterdam medical laws had no bearings on wether or not a british citizen could be a doctor. avh is always trying to use lateral thinking exercises to get a message across to seward, that seward keeps missing. he seems used to this. this tidbit will be relevant later.)

secondly, arthur and quincey. lumping them together because their interactions with seward are kinda few and far between. seward fawns to them though, always speaking highly of arthur and quincey (more than enough examples in the text i shouldn't have to cite).

and you have to ask why. again, it goes back to his position in society. it's because he's expected to. you can't criticize someone above you, and it'd be even better to be in their good graces. he makes himself small, palatable to almost everyone we see him come across. its not a conscious decision, but he still does it. and you have to ask why. just like you have to ask why he refuses to take care of himself in his own privacy. just like you have to ask why he pursued medicine, psychology specifically.

that is where my thesis about his entire character comes in.

the fact of the matter is that seward aims to be someone everyone can like, that everyone will be proud of. when he talks about psychology, he doesn't talk about it with any sort of love for the craft itself, but rather the acclaim he could get. he talks about sonography with more love than he does medicine. psychology was in its very infancy, considered the cutting edge of medicine. they were still talking about fucking phrenology. in this pursuit, though, he lost what made him a person that people want to know. how well does any of the main cast know him, really? barring avh, who was there to see this whole development.

he wants to be liked. but he doesn't know the person he wants to like him is himself. hes a black hole.

3. renfield

"but hugh, you said he was an abuser, that doesn't sound like an abuser" that's because anyone can be abuser, especially when given institutional power.

renfield is everything that seward hates. hes smart, hes of good standing, he had friends, and yet and still he is unliked and unwanted by the world around him, and yet he is still assured of his personhood, of what defines him.

this is because renfield is psychotic. and seward is a psychologist. sewards been given the societal "go ahead" to be as shit to renfield as he wants, to exact everything he cant punish himself for onto renfield.

and, for the record, his abuses aren't even standard for the time. so stop using that as a justification lol. private asylums, like the one seward runs, at the time had a rudimentary idea of "don't encourage or argue with the delusion" (hey remember when seward considered encouraging renfields delusions just to see the end result?) and straightjackect confinement (still abuse. by the way.) was limited to a few hours by most guidelines (remember when he left him in a straightjacket for an entire day?)

and it just gets worse when he realizes he has parallels to renfield (both pursuing something unattainable, renfield wants undeath and seward wants to be liked by everyone). he won't hurt himself, so he will hurt renfield, because he can get away with it without hurting the reputation he worked so hard to make.

he cant stand the fact he has anything in common with a psychotic man, and that that psychotic man (who he fundamentally views as lesser.) once had what he never did. and you can only partially blame it on the times, bedlams reform happened nearly two fucking hundred years before the novel takes place. us psychotic people being. yknow. people is not a new idea

abusers arent going to be a caricature of evil. intentional or not, seward is actually a really well written example of an abuser, because abusers are people, and you'll rarely be able to just.. pick them out of a crowd.

#hugh txt #jack seward #dracula daily #r. m. renfield #lucy westenra #john seward #didnt touch on everything cause id get off topic so fast .#lucy and renfield stans rise the fuck up please.#ohh my brain is muuushy

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sinsiriuslyemo · 10 months

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Splinter by Jasper Hyde

Book Review 4/5 ☆s

I recently had the distinct pleasure of receiving an ARC copy of Splinter, a spooky, sexy Sleepy Hollow retelling by indie author, Gigi aka Jasper Hyde in exchange for an honest review. Let's talk about it.

So picture this, ya'll: I had just finished writing a little over 2500 words on my WIP, and wanted to give myself a little reward for doing so, as it's been my best word count this week. I knew I would be going to the library for a bit because my husband had an interview this afternoon. So I figured, What a perfect time to read a couple of chapters of Splinter! That "couple of chapters" was a lie, my friends. Instead, I was thrust into the world of Sleepy Hollow, a small town in Upstate New York and I did not want to leave until I had read every last page.

Our heroine is Doctor Drusilla Van Tassel, she's the Medical Examiner who finds herself investigating the gruesome deaths of her twin sister's friends.

You guessed it, ya'll - these cats have been losing their heads.

Meanwhile, Drusilla's former best friend/lover, the one and only and also hot as hell Ichabod Crane - monster hunter - just came back to town, and it turns out that he is on a mission too. Capture the Headless Horseman before any more people die. Seems simple enough, right?

Nope. Guess again!

Drusilla is not happy that Ichabod is back in town, but all of that changes when she comes face-to-face with the Headless Horseman, which leads her to discover that she has mysterious magic powers that she didn't know she had. Forced to turn to Ichabod for help after her sister goes missing, the two work together to uncover Drusilla's family secrets and find a way to banish the Headless Horseman for good.

Sounds awesome right?!

It was! I legit could not put this down. I started reading around 1:30 pm and finished at around 11 pm. The characters are so well thought out, relatable and their history so rich. The settings are vivid and really give you a feel for this quaint little town and literally makes you wanna visit to grab some coffee at The Grindhouse Cafe and settle in the vast wooded area with an awesome book, though maybe not do that while the Headless Horseman is there.

The magic was so fun to read about, and just the mystery of it all was compelling and made me want to keep reading. (I mean, duh, I literally kept reading until there was nothing left to read)

Lastly, we must, but we must talk about the romance/sexy tension surrounding Drusilla and Ichabod. First, Drusilla is written as a bisexual introvert, who has trouble connecting to people. She's great at her job, and passionate about it, which is very apparent. She has a strained relationship with her twin sister and has trouble speaking up for herself sometimes (mainly because as one of very few Black people in town and even fewer Black woman, she has to hold herself back from speaking her mind the majority of the time). It was interesting to watch her grapple with her need to solve this case, which is incredibly personal for her, especially after her sister goes missing, while learning how to put herself first for once.

Now, Ichabod, my man, aka: my dream-boat. Ichabod is demisexual, and as I read, I tried to remember another book I've read that had a demisexual character. For the uninitiated, demisexual simply means a person who must have an emotional connection with someone before they can sleep with them. I couldn't think of one. To be perfectly clear, I mean to say that I couldn't think of any other book I have read in which a character is explicitly stated to be demi sexual. I've read plenty where a character can be interpreted as such. But Ichabod states more than once that he is demisexual, which was incredibly refreshing. As someone who resonates with that label, it was cool to see a character, especially a male lead, proudly claim this label unapologetically. Ichabod has his own issues, though. He's doesn't work that well with others, at least from what I gathered, and tends to keep people at a distance, mostly because his job is so top secret.

Also, sidenote, but when I tell you I could not stop picturing Dante Brasco as Ichabod, ya'll...I could not. Just saying.

The pacing of the romance between Drusilla and Ichabod was realistic, it was interesting, there was tension, there was history! Every time they interacted, I was swooning, like what is my life right now?!

Bro, I was shipping them so hard that by the time we got to the love scene, I was literally like this:

I don't wanna give any spoilers because you just have got to read this book. If you like retellings with a diverse cast of characters, magic, sexy times, romance and general bad-assery both in the morgue and out in the woods, this book is absolutely a great choice for a cozy, exciting read.

You can find Splinter on Amazon, Kobo, Apple Books and Barnes and Nobles, and be sure to leave Gigi a review, it helps push their book out to more readers and I'm just betting that it'll put a smile on their face.

Sinceriously,

Hero

#indie books #book review #book recommendations #poc author

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thehaemanthus · 11 months

Text

September Reading

Yeah, yeah, I know it's late, but I've suffered some of the most devastating blows in my life this fall so you're gonna have to cut me some slack

Aileen Travers Series, T.A. White

After waking up in a morgue, our main character Aileen struggles to balance her old life with her new reality as a vampire and supernatural courier. She's the sort of funny "snarky" type of MC, but thankfully not in the annoying way. I really liked the series for its take on supernatural creatures, Aileen's personal struggles, and decent romance. Fairly standard broody love interest, but it was done well. I'm also someone who likes good whump/angst and there was a healthy serving of that as well (love interest accidentally hurting MC, a strange thing to love in a story but it is delicious!)

The first books were great, but I thought the series kind of lost its way in the end and finished in a strange way. Aileen has real conflicting feelings about what she's become, leaving her old life, and what other vampires want her to do/be, but that struggle is less well-done in the later books. She becomes a bit too accepting almost? Still good overall, but could have been better.

Luxuria, Shades of Sin Series, Colette Rhodes

One of those books that was shoved in my face enough that I finally said, yeah okay let's check it out. This one is a monsterfucker, folks! With knotting and lots of body fluid! But the plot is also pretty decent, the world-building is solid though not extensive, and the characters are fairly well-rounded. A really solid book for those of us who like some good writing with our monsterfucking.

There is a second book in the series but...idk something is preventing me from reading. I might pick it up in the future.

The Firebrand Series, Helen Harper

Emma is almost done with training to become a London detective when she gets placed on rotation with the Supernatural Squad, then a mysterious murder happens. Well, two. One is her own. Yes, her own murder. She also wakes up in a morgue. This series had some slowburn romance, good mysteries, and some nice action. The mysteries all almost always super creative and interesting, and I definitely felt that "I need to keep reading" urge.

Wolfbrand Series, Helen Harper

A spin-off from the Firebrand Series! I wasn't as into these two books, following a former small-time criminal overlord turned werewolf. Solid writing and mysteries, as expected from the author, but I simply was not as interested. Sprinkling of romance of a "we both like each other and acknowledge we are attracted to each other" flavor, which leads to some fun bantering. The male MC isn't shy about his feelings but in a "I'm gonna let you know how I feel and where I stand but I won't cross the line of upsetting you" way. I would say it's a fine series, but I didn't need to read it to enjoy the Firebrand Series.

#my reading

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krabs-quill · 3 years

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I personally hc that puffy was apart of a pirate crew before the SMP and I'd just love to know how puffy'll react to seeing [prefferably male, he/it] reader working in las navadas? maybe they're even cousins or something? sheep hybrid reader maybe! no idea but he's mighty fine good at insults and sassy remarks to cover up his emotions

seadog ~ c!puffy x pirate!reader

characters: puffy, quackity (only mentioned)

main characters pronouns: he/it

trigger warnings: blood mention, killing mention, alcohol, minor arguing

authors notes: AHHHH MY FIRST REQUEST IN A WHILLEEE!!! this was really fun to write, learning some pirate slang was an interesting feat! i havent written for puffy a lot though so i really hope its okay aha--

ENJOYYY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Puffy and Y/n had been close for a while- blood bound together as family. Their sailing days had been rich in both wealth and joy, overtaking numerous other aggressive pirate crews. On land or at sea, Puffy's crew always had a distinct signature look that was held in sheep ears and the wooly locks and arm hair on each of the crew members. Some would have horns of a ram or various colors of their fur, but what connected them all together was the appearance from their sheep hybrid traits.

Puffy took the title “Captain Puffy”, while Y/n appealed to be Puffys right hand man. This seemed like an easy role for Y/n to take since he and Puffy had been bonded as closely as the chains attached to the anchor of their mighty ship.

Puffy taught Y/n the ways of sympathy and concern for people who he is closest to. Y/n taught Puffy the ropes and strings of wit- snappy remarks that'll always lead to the response you're looking for from anyone.

It was a smooth and rewarding life for what it was; a family of pirates finding treasure all over the globe and sharing it amongst each other.

But greed got in the way.

There was too much gold and gems to go around, some crewmates stealing from one another to the point of slitting the throats of brothers, sisters, siblings and cousins alike. Y/n knew what it had to do, so it took all of its belongings and simply left. Puffy was alone with her pirate crew, manning all the chaos as best she could with the absence of her right hand man. She never blamed him, of course. It just took some time to try and polish up the crew again.

Y/n had always been looking for money. Anything it could cash in on, you bet it would. From thievery, to scams, to breaking and entering into the homes of the snobbiest people you can think of, Y/n was the slickest scum out there. His infamy would soon bring him to a new nation, akin to his desires of green.

The sight was astonishing- bright blinding lights shooting out of gleaming windows owned by million-dollar businesses, huge attractions, streets made to align to the convenience of spenders wallets, and a regal casino smack-dab in the center of it all. Although Y/n still had his pirate hat and ascot, he found that it would soon be abandoned for white fitted button-ups and dashing suspenders paid with the money of drunken gamblers alike.

Y/n didn't have any sort of hesitance when offered to join Quackity’s nation. It had been a while since it had a family like its former pirate crew, and as much as it hated to admit it, it craved that familial bond every second it was gone. The world seemed suffocating without that bond, but after Quackity offered him the role as a manager in his casino, Y/n was making the big bucks.

“AYE, AYE!!”

Y/n shouts over the angered yelling of the casino floor. He storms up to a burly pale man, grog blossom on his nose and his ears red from anger.

“Alrighty, then, what seems to be the problem? Can't have you causin’ such a ruckus, so go on then!” The man, now clearly wasted out of his mind barked, “THAT f-cking lady right over there! Just cheesed me outta my money!”

“And you think the lass hornswagglin’ you gives ya the right to make a F-CKING mess of my casino?! Just look at all the cards you swept onto the f-ckin floor, aye!” Y/n fumed at the man, glaring him down. The drunken man was shell-shocked, tongue tied, frozen! Before Y/n walked over to the lady the man was pointing at previously, it commanded to the man, “When I come back, all o’ these cards better be picked up off the ground, shuffled, and stacked into a neat pile on that there table or else you'll be in for it, got it?” The man snapped a “yes, sir,” to it before scrambling to gather up the cards.

It had made its way towards the lady standing with her back casually against the corner. A mischievous grin was slapped on her face, the tips of her mouth sharp and wild with glee.

She was counting various diamonds and gems in a small velvet sack that didn't seem to belong to her. Closer and closer Y/n approached the lady, and it seemed to pick up on smaller details: Sturdy leather boots with a strong black heel, a flowy pearl white blouse with sleeves rolled up revealing white, tight curls of hair on the lady's arms, and a black tricorn hat. What stood out the most, however, were the long, white sheep ears on the sides of the lady's face.

“Wh- Puffy? Captain Puffy, is that really you?!” Puffy snaps her head up at the sound of Y/n’s voice again after years without it. The pouch of gems almost slips from her hands as she stares in shock. “Y/n? My right hand man! Oh my god- it's been YEARS!”

Puffy and Y/n clasp each other's hands before pulling into a tight hug. Y/n exclaimed after letting go of the hug, “Why in the world are you here?! The crew can't keep em’selves together without ya around, y'know.” Puffy's face seems to drop slightly when he says that.

“Oh- well, there were some complications and..well…” Y/n tenses up, worried for what's to come from Puffy. “..it came to be too much for even me to resolve. The crew got greedy the more treasure we found. Turned to killing each other. I didn’t wanna be a part of it anymore, so I up and left. Who knows what they're up to now.”

A grimace glazes over what was once a snarky smile on Y/n’s face. It sighs, patting Puffy's shoulder.

“Well, I don't blame you. What can ya do when there's too much greed in a family, y'know? That was always too much of a burden on ya, anyway.”

She doesn't say anything, but both it and her know that Y/n has a solid point. Despite this, there's still a saddening solemnness in the air. Y/n clears its throat before retorting back with a sly grin, “Ah, well, doesn't mean you can't enjoy a pint with an old friend now, aye? Come on and have a seat somewhere!”

Y/n’s cheerfulness is refreshing, there hadn’t ever been anyone like him that Puffy has ever met. Him ushering her to sit down really was like a blast to the past- their days on the ship at sea.

Velvet-cushioned stools lined up at the floor's bar, and Puffy pulled one out to take a seat. She turns to Y/n, who pulls out a seat next to her.

“Don't worry, drinks are on me this time.”

And with a sly grin, he drops the same velvet pouch filled to the brim with gems on the table. Puffy frantically checks her pockets before sighing in defeat, chuckling.

“You really haven't changed one bit, have you?”

#krabs kreates #dsmp x reader #captain puffy x reader #mcyt x reader #dsmp x y/n #dsmp x you #mcyt x you #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x platonic reader #dsmp x platonic reader #dsmp x male reader #mcyt x male reader

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lokiskitten · 3 years

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Loki Laufeyson | a little miracle

Loki Laufeyson x fem!reader

plot : After getting banned from Asgard, Loki found shelter in your home. You two easily grew closer as time passed, engaging in a long term relationship without you ever being able to carry his child due to the none-matching genetics. During Christmas Eve, you and the demigod stumble upon an abandoned baby on the steps of your porch.

warnings : mention of nudity and child abandon.

The 24th of December marked a rather cold and ruthless evening. The sun had set low hours ago, which allowed you and your long term love interest to spend a delightful night whilst having dinner nowhere far from the soothing sound and warmth which erupted from the working chimney. Even if he often criticized midgardian food, Loki had made an effort to worship your roasted chicken which in fact resembled what he used to eat every day whenever he still was allowed on the lands of Asgard. The man would often tell you about the nice adventures he had had the pleasure to experience, whilst also verbally exploring the many beauties that carried his homeland.

Of course, you never seemed to get tired of hearing his stories. His arrival in your life had offered you well needed company, especially as you lived far from the city; in a little country house within a low populated village. Besides, he was also the most interesting and intelligent man you ever got to meet. No matter how many bad actions you knew he had committed, your heart still managed to hold a special place for Loki within your chest. Often, you would reassure his anxiety by claiming that everyone deserves another chance. Long story short : you felt overly grateful that he was now here to keep you safe and sound.

After dinner, the two of you had moved to the couch before the chimney, easily getting rid of your clothes and engaging in a never ending cuddle- the type of snuggles that you liked the best : skin to skin. Feeling his warmth against yours made the fire from the chimney appear irrelevant, and the sweet caresses he offered your sensitive body felt better than any silk sheets anyone could ever dream to possess. These kind of moments were never about sex, but always about sharing a special and dedicated contact with the man you had fallen in love with. Surely the two of you often allowed yourselves to spend some sexually pleasurable time together, but those kind of cuddles overcame any of these private intercourses.

His lips collided against yours in a smooth manner, both of your respective eyelids remaining closed as his naked body rested between your legs. You never grew tired of those motions, your organism constantly begging for more and reacting to any touch coming from your partner. His hips rocked against yours just so slightly, the dry humping being part of the overall loving mannerisms. And right now, it was enough to satisfy you. However, an unwelcome detail managed to flash itself back into your mind, pulling you out of the romantic moment you were attempting to spend with Loki. Opening your eyes, you allowed your palms to rest against his shoulders in order to stop him through his motions.

“I forgot to turn off the candle on the porch..” you murmured, earning a tired groan coming from the large man. “I won’t be long.” You affirmed after you had laid a loving kiss on his cheek, watching as the demigod sat up in order to allow you to shift off the couch. Your hand reached out for your sweater and panties, putting both of those pieces of clothing back on before lazily making your way until the front door. Scratching the back of your neck, you finally pushed open the door of your house before taking a step forward in order to be able to put your hand on the candle. However, your foot stumbled upon a foreign mass, easily leading you to step back out of surprise as unhappy cries began to escape the layers of dirty drapes.

Your hand landed against your chest, orbs starring down at the scary sight that you wish wasn’t what you thought it was. However, it undeniably was and remained an abandoned baby resting on your porch. Your first reflex was to seek for any silhouette lurking within the darkness of the snowy night, eyes squinting as you attempted to distinguish the potential parents of this child. “Hello?!” Fear echoed in your voice, though you soon gave up on trying to figure out who had left this child here as you couldn’t tell for how long this poor baby had been laying on your doorstep- which allowed you to jump to the conclusion that those gruesome individuals were probably gone and far by now.

You looked back down at the newborn who now only allowed a few tired whimpers to escape their lips, body crouching down so that your hands would be able to remove the layer of sheet which covered their face. Upon being revealed to the light, a new whine echoed throughout your ears, your empathetic self feeling sorrow invade your organism. You picked up the baby with a lot of care, face still diverted towards their grimacing one right before Loki finally made an apparition behind your silhouette. “What’s taking your so long-“ he began to ask, the smile on his face fading away as soon as you turned around and revealed the child to his bare eyes.

“Where did you find this?” He asked on a tensed tone, visibly not appearing too happy about seeing you carry a foreign toddler. “I found it on our porch. Someone must’ve left him there...” you admitted on a sorrowful tone, looking down at the little piece of sunshine who clearly didn’t deserve to be in the situation they were in. Your empathetic self couldn’t even believe that people still did those kind of things nowadays. It disgusted you to even think of it. “Put it back.” Loki demanded, earning a confused yet absolutely irritated stare coming from you. “Are you mental? I told you I found it right here. Who am I supposed to return this child to?” You answered sadly, feeling more than shocked by your partner’s inappropriate and rude behavior.

Loki looked down at the baby’s face, earning a few gasps from the newborn who kept their eyes closed. No form of care nor empathy seemed to show on the grown man’s face- which once again was a detail that left you speechless. “We can’t leave it there. Poor thing would freeze to death.” You affirmed whilst gently rocking the baby in order to make sure it would stay calm and sleepy. Loki remained silent for a couple of seconds, his mind probably trying to find a good response to your previous statement. “What if.. what if we kept it?” You suddenly offered, looking up at your lover who simply scoffed as a response. “Keep it? This isn’t a fairytail. You can’t just keep a child like this.” Loki answered harshly. Currently, if both of your arms haven’t been required to carry the toddler, the demigod would’ve probably earned a slap across his face.

“You’ll bring him to the authorities tomorrow. Now let’s get inside.” Loki ordered, turning back around as he began to take a few steps forward in order to join the warmth of the house. However, you stopped in front of the doorstep. “Why are you acting like this? This isn’t like you.” You accused sadly, your arms still patiently rocking the child. The truth was, this situation simply reminded Loki of his own past- how Odin had found him abandoned on a rock on Jotunheim. He had suffered due to his new environment mixing up with who he truly was, and didn’t wish to put anyone through the same bother he once had to go through. “Everyone deserves a chance.” You suddenly affirmed, causing the demigod to stop through his track. This statement struck him right through his heart.

Your eyes anxiously stared at his back, waiting for an answer coming from your partner who had decided to behave so harshly. Loki finally ended up turning around, green eyes making contact with yours as he slowly began to make his way back to you. Face to his silence, your anxious self couldn’t help but add a few decisive words. “It’s the child we’ve always wanted. It’s a.. miracle.” You affirmed sadly, feeling tears fill up your orbs at the thought of finally being able to look after a child of your own. Of course, Loki knew how much this topic meant to you, and that even if he had never planned to have children of his own before stumbling upon you and your desires. But in that child, he couldn’t help but see himself.

Patiently, the demigod accepted to take a new look down at the baby who now had their eyes open, a gentle whimper escaping their lips upon making eye contact with the adult male. Loki took the initiative to take the toddler out of your arms, carrying it in his own limbs without ever speaking a word as he made his way towards the chimney. The demigod had began to gently rock the toddler, looking down at them and allowing the baby to toy with his long strands of black locks whilst he patiently sang to them in that beautiful Asgardian language of his. He kept a low tone, making sure not to scare the baby without ever breaking the eye contact he had engaged with the toddler.

Leaning against the entrance of the living room, you finally allowed yourself to smile out of relief face to this soothing sight. This was everything you’ve ever wanted : seeing Loki carry a child, and that even if it wasn’t necessarily yours. No matter where this baby came from, this house would now become his home.

AHHH thank you so much for 1000 followers!!!!! I couldn’t feel more grateful. For the occasion, I had to write something for you guys. It’s different from what y’all probably have the habit to read, but I hope it was enjoyable to read still! Love you and take care!!! Special tag for @seasexnsun who turned out to be my 1000th follower!

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alrightsnaps · 3 years

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Hey. I want to read more historical romance. After the Bridgerton series, what do you recommend? Are there any good authors or series I can try. I am new to this genre...

Yay historical romps recs!!!

Okay so obviously tastes vary when it comes to romance so just to let you know, personally I found I lean more towards romance books that have a more romcom-y, humorous and banter-filled tone. If you liked the Bridgerton series you'll probably enjoy them as well.

If you found enjoyed the Bridgerton family dynamic you should start some other Julia Quinn series. Her older ones (pre Bridgerton) aren't really my thing as they have a very different style, but I adored her later series. They all take place within the same universe too so again if you loved the Bridgertons that will be an extra treat for you!

The Smythe-Smith Quartet which follows four Smythe-Smith cousins (special shoutout to The Sum of All Kisses because it simply stole my heart)

The Rokesbys which is a prequel series to the Bridgertons

The Bevelstoke Trilogy (though I'd stir clear of the first book...the second and third are amazing though, and as with all Regency romances they're standalones)

How to Marry A Marquis

Then you should definitely give Tessa Dare a go. Her books have a hilariously modern vibe and are a total treat to read.

The Spindle Cove series is a must (my personal favourites: A Week to be Wicked and A Lady by Midnight)

Castles Ever After (When a Scot Ties the Knot stands out for me because I have a weakness for Scottish/English romance!)

Girl Meets Duke

Julie Anne Long's Pennyroyal Green series is worth a go as well. Her books can be a hit or miss, but I definitely recommend these:

Like No Other Lover

What I Did For A Duke

How the Marquess was Won

It Started with a Scandal

The Legend of Lyon Redmond

After Dark With the Duke

Vivienne Lorret is another author I enjoyed a lot who has a couple of good series:

The Mating Habits of Scoundrels (Lord Holt Takes a Bride being my personal favourite)

Wallflower Weddings (favourite book: Finding Miss McFarland)

Misadventures in Matchmaking

The Rakes of Fallow Hall (especially The Elusive Lord Everhart)

Steicy Reid's When the Earl Met his Match is a great read (and it features a deaf male lead!) and you may like Sabrina Jeffries' Hellions of Halstead Hall that also revolves around siblings like the Bridgerton books. Lenora Bell is worth a go too (If I Only Had a Duke is pretty good).

Another author that I didn't really love but many do and whose style is close to Julia Quinn is Eloisa James.

Now if you prefer more plot heavy, angstier books:

Lisa Kleypas' Wallflowers series (the historical context being Victorian rather than Regency) is pretty much iconic among historical romance lovers. Kleypas isn't really my cup of tea but I enjoyed it overall, though I deeply hated the third book (which is pretty much everyone's favourite in the entire genre!). My favourites were It Happened One Autumn (though TW: there is a dubcon sex scene pretty similar to that of Bridgerton's The Duke and I, except the genders are reversed) and Scandal in Spring. If you enjoy Kleypas' writing, she has tons of romances (Suddenly You is a pretty good one), including a sort of sequel series to the Wallflowers.

Sarah MacLean is also loved by fans and is closer to Lisa Kleypas rather than Julia Quinn. Again, not really my thing, but Eleven Scandals to Steal a Duke's Heart wasn't bad.

Kerrygan Bern's Victorian Rebels series is really good (I loved The Highlander).

Loretta Chase is a popular one as well, particularly Lord of Scoundrels, but personally I didn't like it so I didn't give any other book of hers a go.

If you prefer books which are pretty light in sex scenes and more historically accurate you need to read Mary Balogh! She's a great writer and probably the most period accurate author I've come across. Her Bedwyn Saga focuses on family like the Bridgerton books, following a Bedwyn sibling per book (Slightly Dangerous, which is the last installment, is amazing)

If you're more into American rather than British history, though I can't give you any personal recommendations since it doesn't really appeal to me, I've heard that Beverly Jenkins is pretty great.

Regency authors I haven't read yet but I've seen recommended a lot: Elizabeth Hoyt, Connie Brockway, Courtney Milan, Olivia Waite and of course Georgette Heyer aka the original Regency romance writer.

(The above recommendations are basically historical romps, but if what you're looking for is more serious historical fiction I must recommend Sarah Waters, she writes the most incredible lesbian love stories!)

#asks #book recs #regency romance #regency art #romancelandia #julia quinn #tessa dare #julie anne long #vivienne lorret #stacy reid #lenora bell

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flowerwrites06 · 4 years

Text

thinning thread — jjk

Plot: In the heat of a tumultuous rough path in their marriage, Jungkook is handed their last resort.

Pairing(s): Jungkook x Writer!OC (Name: Belle)

Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+

Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Two Parter | Series

Word Count: 2k+

Genre: Marriage!AU

Tags & Warnings: angst, rough marriage, divorce, explicit smut

Authors Note: sorry the reposting has been a little slow, everyone! the end of feb was a little rough but I’ll try to get the fics out as soon as I can.

ALSO requests are currently open and they’ll close on Sunday! So be sure to fill the request form HERE

Days turned to, weeks turned to months the blanket of home they knitted together now stripped to nothing but a pathetic string. Both of them dangling and swinging on it pretending that the world around them didn’t just crumble beneath their feet. It started with regular fights over the lack of time they spent together; the usual reason most couple would go through a lovers’ spat. Then fights were followed with silent treatments lasting days on end to point where one of them would be out of the house completely.

Paranoia kicked in soon afterwards as Jungkook saw Belle chatting with one of her clients leading to yet another exhausting argument about her supposedly cheating. Jungkook left home that night for three days until he came back without saying a word. Belle spent more nights in her office using a glass of wine to loosen herself up and get some sleep while writing herself to near madness.

Her publishing company even asked her if she was okay after her latest manuscript submission stating it had a lot more disturbing themes than her usual works. Belle simply stated that things changed. Happiness wasn’t a fucking commonality anymore and the themes she wrote now seemed more realistic.

Jungkook spent hours in the gym, punching bags until the skin on his knuckles ripped apart breaking himself down enough to get some damn shut eye. He was getting a lot more complaints from his producers these days saying he had too much of a short fuse nowadays. Which, to prove their point, he ended up snapping and earned himself a break away from sending in anymore songs until he got himself sorted.

Swinging and swinging on this thinning thread, it all dwindled down into one night.

Instead of going back to her office for the night, Belle paid a visit to her lawyer about a set of paperwork that she needed organized. Thankfully the name she made for herself allowed the time to finish all these documents were significantly lessened. The next day after making her request she was able to have the papers in her hand.

As she walked into the apartment the woman realized how long it had been since she walked into their home at this hour. The twilight sky looked like a painting through the large panned windows, creating a beautiful silhouette of the city buildings. For a moment Belle could have smiled until she heard chain clanging and something thudding.

Jungkook began his attack on what could have been his fifteenth punching bag this fortnight, not caring about the world around him.

She sighed, placing her bag on the kitchen counter before stomping over to the man with her brown envelope in hand. “I need to talk to you.” Belle announced trying to sound louder than the punching bag thudding and clanging.

The man gave the bag one harsh punch before letting out a deep sigh, a droplet of sweat . “I’m not in the mood.” He mumbled immediately causing a rush of fury in her belly.

Belle tightened her jaw her whole body urging to just throw the papers on the floor until he sees it. But she took a long, drawling breath as she walked closer to the male who proceeded to assault his punching bag. “This is important.” She spoke firmly. “Just listen to me for one second.” She pursed her lips when Jungkook finally held onto the punching bag to pause for a moment.

Though the male still glared at her a little making her heart drop.

She remembered when he used to look at her with eyes soft and sparkling. Now all she felt was hate radiating from him. Belle handed the envelope over which he accepted, ripping off the top carelessly before pulling out the papers.

Jungkooks’ brows furrowed when he skimmed through the contents of the document. “What the hell is this?” He fumed.

“Divorce papers.” Belle replied simply.

He tightened his jaw still staring at the words on the pages instead of looking up at her. “I need a pen.” Jungkook muttered quietly before walking past her towards the living room.

Chest clenched tightly but she let out a quick breath before following him along watching him walk towards the sitting area.

Belle’s brows furrowed when she noticed they were walking away from the staircase to the study to get a pen. Instead she saw Jungkook pad towards the couches, to the fireplace sitting in front of them still running to keep the place warm and cozy. Even though the atmosphere was anything but that.

It didn’t take long until finally she saw Jungkook tossing the papers and empty envelope right into the fire. Stammering she watched the flames rise higher before dissipating the documents, their names burned away achingly slow. “Jungkook.” She tried to move past him to grab the remnants of the papers but both her arms were grabbed to keep her in place.

“Are you trying to hurt me now? Huh?” Jungkooks’ eyes burned into hers, hair matted to his glistening forehead.

Belle yanked out of his grasp which made his move his arms but he still stood dangerously close. “Don’t try to make me look like the bad guy here.” She seethed. “We’ve tried to fix this but it’s not working. You didn’t even want to talk to me when I walked into the room.”

“Because I thought you were going to start up another fight which clearly you were.” He gestured harshly towards the fireplace.

“Do you have a better idea?” Her vision grew blurry. “Because I don’t want to wake up another morning feeling like you hate me.” Belle hadn’t spoken about her feelings to the man in a long time. So long that expressing it now made her feel utterly exposed.

“You really think I hate you?” Jungkook spoke through gritted teeth. “You really think I’d still be in this apartment because I fucking hated you?”

“When was the last time you told me you loved me then? Hm?” Tears streamed down her face, mascara smudging at the corners of her eyes a little. “When was the last time we actually spoke to each other without yelling or crying?” Belle sobbed out.

“That doesn’t mean I stopped loving you.” He protested, his eyes glistening even in the dimmed warm light. “How did you even think I would sign those papers, huh?”

Belle shrugged weakly, smiling a little sadly. “Maybe you’d be happier without me.”

His eyes twitched as he pursed his lips together tightly. “Would you be happier without me?”

Her heart felt tired at this point tightening around itself as if trying to push out all the hurt or keep it all in. Happiness wasn’t a commonality for sure. But would it be any better if she couldn’t see him altogether? Spending years thinking of what could have happened if they just—kept holding onto that thread?

Without uttering a single word, Belle merely shook her head. In a second she was reminded at how well Jungkook still was at knowing what she needed right at that moment.

A small tear escaping down his cheek, Jungkook grabbed her by her cheeks and pressed a warm kiss against her lips. He could taste a saltiness on her dampened lips before his hands trailed down, wrapping them around her waist to cancel out any distance between them. He was fucking done being so far away from his baby, unable to touch her because they were too stubborn to say sorry. With a swift motion he picked her up and impatiently pressed her down against the fluffy rug.

Belle pulled at her scarf which was quickly pushed away and her cardigan lay as a blanket underneath. Fingers hooked on the hem of his cold T-shirt before pulling it over his head and discarding no one cared where. She felt his nails firmly graze up her thigh, hooking onto her panties and pulling it down only one of her thighs roughly. The thin piece of clothing dangling on her left ankle as Jungkook devoured her lips not wanting to unlock their tongues dancing.

His bulging shorts rubbed against her bare core making her moan against his lips. Jungkooks’ still wrapped hand pulled at her hair to press her further down on the floor. He watched her mouth part, small gasp passing through as his hips rubbed against her pooling core. “Look at me.” He spoke in a raspy voice, lust blown and glossy eyes piercing into her. “I want you to look at me.” He whispered, forehead pressing together as he carelessly pushed down his shorts to let his desperate cock free.

Belle felt his thick, wet tip rub up and down her sleek heat, walls already clenching to a get an aching taste of him inside her again. “Please—” A choked scream broke out of her when the man slammed into her. Her pussy swallowed up every inch of his cock, aching a little after being long-deprived from the stretch. She kept her gaze did not waiver however watching him contort his face in pleasure.

Jungkook could barely hear himself think after feeling his whole member hugged by that familiar heat. So deliciously tight and warm, he could stay like this forever if he could. “Fuck I missed you.” He whispered, hot breath hitting her face before he kissed her again, sighing in relief as he began thrusting into her. Every snap of his hips hit hard and deep wanting to make his movements embedded in their minds so they forget just how fucking good they felt together.

She grabbed onto his shoulders for dear life, legs spread out welcomingly for him to destroy her desperate heat. All her long hibernated nerves now jolted awake by the beautiful friction between them, electrifying her body.

He pulled apart the front of her dress, a few buttons flying off but Belle couldn’t care less. Neither of them could. This was the closest they had been in months. Nothing was going to stop them from spewing out all their bottled frustrations.

Belle felt his hot mouth press wet kisses on the curve of her breast, teeth grazing against the tender skin making her smile in bliss. Fingers gripped at the roots of his slightly damp hair reaching down to kiss his head. A gasp caught in her throat when he thrusted into her faster pushing to the limits of her release but she pushed him away.

“What’s wrong?” He breathed out staring at her confused but he quickly saw what she wanted.

Belle pushed on his chest to make him lie on his back before straddling him, the panties on her ankle slid away. She raised herself over his erect cock and slowly let her core devour him again causing a small groan under Jungkooks’ throat. His hands instinctively moved under the skirt of her dress, squeezing her bottom. Still her eyes fixated on him as her hips swayed, feeling his tip rub against her sweet spot making her legs melt.

She moved her hands to where his were and Jungkook immediately intertwined their fingers together. Belle carefully unwrapped the black cloth around his knuckles as the male sat up now, wanting to feel her closer.

Pressing a small kisses on his healing wounds, she quickened her pace.

Jungkook grabbed the back of her neck and intoxicated her with another kiss while his other hand guided her hips.

Belle held onto his shoulders now and bounced on his cock, the sheer pressure against her sweet spot could throw her over the edge in minutes. Arms wrapped around him as her teeth sunk into his skin, muffling her moans. Fingers ran through the hair on the back of his head, lips pressing messy kisses on his neck and cheek. “I love you.” She whispered in his ear.

The male grabbed the side of her neck again forcing her to meet his gaze. Thumb brushed the corner of her teary eyes, mascara smudging across her temple on his finger pad. Lips were barely hovering one another as Belle slowed her thrusts. “I love you too.” He sighed out the words, grabbing bits of her hair before pressing on her warm lips. “I love you so much.” His latter words were mumbled but Belle still heard them.

A small sob shook through her seeing that warmth again. One she hadn’t seen it in so long that it almost felt like dream but Jungkooks’ hands on her skin reminded her it wasn’t. This was all real.

Jungkook turned her around to lay on her stomach, legs straightened out and spread so he could sneak in between. His cock slid in on its own at this point with how fucked out her heat was and he didn’t waste a single second longer to continue the pace. He leaned into her, kisses lain on her shoulder and sweet words whispered in her ear.

He intertwined his fingers with a hand and Belle hugged it closer, his sweaty torso pressed firmly against her back as the onslaught of thrusts began. It was slow but it dug deep into her core and steadily patterned. Her belly pressed against the floor made it all the more easier to rub against her sweet spot and create some friction against her clit.

“Don’t stop.” She whispered giving Jungkook even more determination to torture her core with incessant pounding. Warmth gathered around her leaking heat and pleasure tickled under the skin of her thighs causing her moans to shake.

Jungkook drilled into her, his own moans melting with her as his climax now flooded his entire form, his hand gripping onto hers like it was a part of him.

Belle cried out, trying to muffle the pitch by pressing her lips against the back of his hand. The heated release making her legs shake under him uncontrollably. Cheek pressed against the rug now, she bit down her bottom lip, tears still flowing out of her from the force of her orgasm mixed with everything else.

He filled her up with his release uttering the most delicious whimpers and moan before kissing her cheek softly. “You okay, baby?” Jungkook whispered, caressing her tear stain cheek.

Belle smiled quickly, nodding even though fresh tears still fell turning to face him properly. “I’m glad you didn’t sign it.” She giggled through her light sobs.

Jungkook chuckled leaning in and lay a soft kiss on her salty lips. “I’d never leave you, baby.”

“Promise?” She asked in a whisper.

“Promise.”

Another thread now knitted with the one they had been dangling on, making them that tiny bit stronger than they were yesterday.

#jungkook #thebtswritersclub #jungkook imagines #bts imagines #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts fanfiction #husband jungkook #marriage au #bts marriage au

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qianinterprises · 3 years

Text

Summer '78

Pairing | bully!Jeno x chubby!Reader

Warning(s) | bullying, harsh words, cussing, sexual assault, name calling, fat shaming, poor shaming, face slapping, angst, hurtful comments, yelling, the Dreamies are not nice people (I know I did Jaemin wrong, I'm sorry)

Synopsis | Jeno was a bully, and you were his primary victim. Nothing should have changed, but Jeno began getting tired of bullying the girl he was in love with simply because she didn't conform to societies beauty standards. So she was chubby? So what?! His friends didn't see it that was.

Genre | ANGST, retro-flashback

Author’s Notes | So I wrote this a while back for an event of NCTA, which was basically writing a retro fic. This fic is very different than the fics I usually write. For one, it is told in Jeno's perspective rather than the readers. For two, this is a "chubby fic." Meaning the reader is seen in the fic as having a larger body weight, which, may I add here, is not a problem, nor should it ever be. If you are being bullied for anything, please don't let it go unreported. Report it as many times as you have to because bullying is not ok, whether it's done at school, at home, or anywhere else. Also, there is a possibility that there will be a part two, I have had some people (before posting it here) request a part two but I'm on the fence about that, but perhaps a part two will show some change and growth on Jeno's part. So we'll see. Tell me your opinions though! I hope you enjoy~

Word Count | 3.5k

Taglist | @treasuretaeil @hachanbaecon @nschitty

A group of six boys sat around a table talking and laughing until a loud crash resounded through the snack shack that brought their attention to a waitress on the floor, yellow heels scattered behind her, empty tray in her hands and spilled drinks everywhere as well as on a girl by the table the waitress had fallen at.

“Clutz,” one of the boys, Jeno, mumbled, shaking his head.

“Fatass,” Jeno’s best friend, Jaemin responded.

The other four muttered something along the lines of agreement as they watched the waitress cowering on the floor with a bright red face as the girl now covered in cola shrieked about her ruined clothing and hair.

Jaemin got up from his seat angrily.

“What the hell are you doing to my girlfriend!” he yelled, approaching the pair.

“Jaeminnie! She poured soda all over me!” the girl pouted, running into Jaemins arms.

Jeno rolled his eyes.

Jeno shook his head. Out of all of the boys in their biker gang, Jaemin just had to be the most gullible, falling for the Queen Bee of the high school who used him for nothing more than his money and face.

“She ruined my shirt,” Jeno heard the girl whine.

Jaemin embraced her tighter.

“You’ll have to pay for her clothing, fatty!” Jaemin demanded.

The waitress was someone Jeno recognized. (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N). She had been one of his best friends when he was a shy ten year old trying to fit in. They both befriended Jaemin and the rest of their group and somewhere along the way, he’d gotten muscular and tall while she’d gotten chubby. With Jeno’s looks, he’d always been popular with girls, but when he became interested in them as more than friends, he’d dumped the girl in favor of girlfriends.

She was a bullied girl wearing outdated clothing that made adequate grades. A nobody. She didn’t fit into any groups. She drifted through high school being shoved against lockers while her books were thrown across the hallway and what little lunch money she had was stolen. More often than not, Jeno or one of the other guys was the perpetrator.

“I can’t…” (y/n) muttered, looking down at the floor.

Jaemin kicked the carrying tray away from her, making the girl flinch.

Something in Jeno’s heart snapped against his chest, but he’d never allow it to escape. He watched tears gather in the corner of the girl's eyes and Jeno fought the urge to pull her to his chest.

Feelings began to stir their first year in high school when he and (y/n) had been seated side-by-side in homeroom and he’d leaned over to tease her about her recent, awkwardly styled hair when he’d met the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen.

The feelings made his stomach twist in knots and his body tingled. Feelings and sensations that only grew stronger when their skin brushed or when her angelic voice met his ears.

The feelings were what drove him to brash treatment. His hands shoving her shoulders against the lockers as he demanded for her money. Fingers harshly tugging at the ends of her hair. His voice yelling horrible things at her just to hear her speak back.

He couldn’t tell anyone how he was feeling either. Dating the chubby girl would cause him to lose whatever popularity he had obtained along with his pride and his gang. Their leader couldn’t be seen as the weak punk who decided to date the chubby girl from a poor family.

Jaemin sneered down at the blushing girl, taunting her loudly and Jeno watched her feeble attempt at hiding her face.

“Jaemin! Let’s go. Chubby over here isn’t worth our time,” Jeno called loudly, voice filled with authority that had Jaemin immediately moving away from the girl.

“Fine. But she owes us free meals for a week! Those clothes were expensive!” Jaemin whined.

He kissed his girlfriend's cheek and walked to the door to wait on the rest of the gang who were stuffing their last few fries in their mouths or finishing off their milkshakes.

“Let’s roll,” Jaemin called, a grin on his face.

Jeno shook his head at how fast the male changed perspectives. He grabbed his leather jacket off the back of his chair, sliding his arms into it and let it snap against his back.

The last few members finished their plates, leaving them on the table before grabbing their own jackets and following Jaemin out the door. Jeno took the end, stopping by the waitress on the floor.

“Maybe get some heels your fat feet can walk in, huh Dollface?” he sneered.

Her face flew red again and he rolled his eyes.

“And you should stop blushing. You look like a tomato. Vegetables aren’t attractive. Although it’s fitting. Tomatoes are plump.”

He walked out the door without another word, heart hammering painfully in his ears. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, but that was a problem. He couldn’t think chubby girls were beautiful. What would his friends think?

The loud purr of an engine met his ears and he sighed happily, most of his regret getting washed away, uprooted by the smell of motor oil and tires.

Jeno’s ride was a cherry red 1960 Harley-Davidson motorcycle with shiny silver wheels that didn’t match the rusted gas tank or muffler that Jeno was now saving to restore among other things. The black leather seat was slightly cracked from wear over the years and the breaks didn’t always work great. His headlight needed a new spark plug and the oil line leaked. Still, with all of these issues, he loved his bike. Each new issue gave him something to work on at night in his father's tiny little garage when all he wanted was grease on his chest and a wrench in his hand.

“Let’s go Jeno! I wanna ride!” Donghyuck moaned from his spot on his own bike, revving the engine with his right hand.

Jeno rolled his eyes at Donghyuck’s whining. Out of all of them, he was the one that loved traveling the most. They’d gone all the way up the coast the day they’d let Donghyuck lead them.

Jeno nodded and threw his leg over his bike, kicking the kick start lever and sighing happily as the bike roared to life beneath him. He pushed off his kickstand and allowed it to roll forward.

“Let’s go!” he called.

He rolled to the front of the group before revving the engine and turning onto the main road leaving the beachside snack shack behind.

When Jeno pulled into the driveway of his house, he parked his motorcycle beside his elder brother's black and gold Harley, letting the kickstand rest against the dirt driveway and dismounted..

He made his way into the house where his older brother, Jaehyun, was sitting alone in the living room flipping through channels.

Jeno’s heart hurt. All through the ride, he thought about (y/n) and the pained look in her eyes every time someone teased her. He knew it wasn’t right to bully her, especially for something as shallow as her weight or her clothes, but when the girls Jeno dated began mocking her, Jeno joined in, and pretty soon, she was alone. It hurt that Jeno could have stopped it. He could have kept her as a friend instead of ditching her, and now, here he was, hopelessly in love with the girl he bullied and too afraid to stand up to his friends out of fear that they would dump him.

“I have a problem,” he groaned, flopping down on the couch.

Jaehyun turned the small box television off and turned his attention to Jeno. Jeno rolled his head back on the plush green sofa and sighed.

“There’s this girl I like…” he started.

Jaehyun groaned in disinterest.

“So tell her. Not like you can’t get any girl. I heard you’re one of the kings of your class,” he replied.

Jeno whined. It was true. He could virtually have anyone he wanted, yet the one person he couldn’t have was the one he desired.

“I can’t. My friends wouldn’t approve and she’d never go for me… not after everything I’ve done,” he muttered hopelessly.

“Why do you care so much what your punk friends think? Do what you want, not what they want you to do.”

Jeno sighed. It wasn’t that easy and Jaehyun should know that.

“She’d never go out with me anyway and I can never tell her!” Jeno whined, hoping his brother would understand.

He was far too ashamed to come out and say exactly why she wouldn’t. “There’s girls that don’t like you?” Jaehyun asked, clearly shocked.

Jeno nodded sullenly.

“Just one…”

That seemed to make the links click in Jaehyun’s mind and Jeno wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

“You don’t mean you like the poor girl you always bully, do you?”

So Jaehyun knew about that. No wonder his brother had grown distant since Jeno had started high school.

“Um… yes…” he mumbled.

Jaehyun shuffled around on the beige chair he was sitting on before one of his dirty socks was being chucked at Jeno’s head.

“Hey!” Jeno snapped.

“You don’t treat people like that! You and your friends are assholes! That poor girl won’t forgive you for what you’ve done to her!” Jaehyun yelled.

Jeno wanted to yell back, but he knew Jaehyun was right. He was an asshole.

“What do I do to get her to like me… I don’t know how to stop this mess…” he mumbled. Jaehyun groaned and grabbed the large remote, flipping the television back on.

“You make things right. Stop bullying the girl and apologize like you mean it. Even then, it may be too late,” Jaehyun answered before his attention was back into the heavy box television.

Jeno sighed. He knew his brother was right.

The next afternoon, Jeno pulled his motorcycle into the parking lot of the snack shack, parking alongside Jisungs rusting brown one he refused to let Jaemin or Jeno strip and repaint.

Jeno dismounted and walked into the shack. His friends were crowded around their usual table, talking loudly.

Jeno walked over to the table and slid into the booth beside Renjun.

“What’d I miss?” he asked.

Jaemin was cackling and fishing ice out of his soda glass.

“(y/n) is on our table today!” he smirked.

Jeno’s heart dropped. That meant they’d be extra cruel to her today and Jeno really couldn’t do anything to tell her or his friends how he felt. The universe must really hate him.

Jaemin got the ice out of his cola glass and held it in his palm, his faze shifting to where (y/n) was shuffling around in her red striped shirt and black pants, wearing those same yellow heels.

“What are you gonna-”

Jeno was cut off as Jaemin smirked and launched the ice cube across the table, getting enough air to fly across the room until it dived down into the low cut v-line of (y/n)’s striped shirt.

“Yes! 10 points!” Jaemin cheered loudly.

(y/n) squeaked at the sudden intrusion of ice, a sound that Jeno found oddly adorable, even if it wasn’t a good kind of squeak.

Her face flamed red and she hurried back to put her notepad down on the chef’s counter before moving back to their table.

“Can I get you guys anything else?” she asked, her voice having gone up an octave from embarrassment.

“I want a chocolate milkshake,” Renjun answered.

(y/n) jotted it down and moved to look at the rest.

“I want a burger that’s charred on one side, but not too charred. Don’t bring me burnt meat or I’ll make your fatass eat it,” Jaemin said.

Jeno sighed at his friend, shaking his head subtly.

“I want a burger with a dollop of ketchup and three pickles. Don’t you dare give me any more or less than three pickles,” Donghyuck ordered.

Jeno rolled his eyes. Donghyuck didn’t even like pickles.

She glanced at Jisung and Chenle, both who were contently sipping their cola’s and completely ignoring her existence, so, after scribbling down everyone else’s orders, she turned her eyes to Jeno.

“Coke with ten pieces of ice and a burger.”

(y/n) nodded, writing all of the information down and shuffled off to the counter again.

“Do we really have to be that mean to her? She looked like she was going to cry,” Renjun muttered.

Jaemin rolled his eyes.

Jeno nodded in agreement to Renjun. Her face was sullen and her eyes glistened with tears that hadn’t fallen. His heart sank at the thought that maybe something had happened at home or that their words had finally gotten to her. In all the time they’d been bullying her, she never once said anything much to them, and they’d never seen her cry.

“Do you think we should lay off her?” he suggested.

Donghyuck and Jaemin snorted at the same time.

“Why would we do that?” Donghyuck asked.

Jeno shook his head. His friends could be such assholes sometimes. They wouldn’t even stop for someone that seems to be almost crying, they just use it to play more games. More buttons to press.

“If you’re so worried, Jeno, go check on her,” Chenle challenged.

“Yeah, go check on her!” Jaemin cackled.

Jeno shook his head and sighed, getting out of the booth. He knew very well what they expected him to do, or at least, what they wanted him to do, but he didn’t know if he could take calling her names anymore. Not when it felt like his soul was screaming at him not to.

He didn’t have much of a choice as he made his way over to her, however. He couldn’t control what his friends wanted and what he was obligated to give.

He moved up behind her and while her back was turned, he brought his hand down hard on her butt as his friends cackled loudly from their table. Jeno’s ears burned in embarrassment and guilt. If his mother knew what he’d just done, she’d be dragging him out of the snack shack by his ear.

He didn’t really know what to expect from (y/n). What he didn’t expect however, was her body whirling around rapidly, her hand raising angrily, and the sharp stinging sensation across his cheek.

“YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO YOU, AND YET ALL YOU ARE YOUR ASSHOLE BUDDIES WANNA DO IS BULLY ME! WELL PISS OFF! I DON’T NEED THIS!” she screamed.

Jeno’s eyes widened. This was new…

“YOU ARE A BUNCH OF PUNKASS BOYS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO, BUT I SWEAR THE NEXT TIME I HEAR A COMMENT ABOUT MY WEIGHT, CLOTHES, OR HAIR, OR ANYONE TOUCHEs ME, I WILL SHOVE MY FAT FOOT UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!” she screamed angrily.

The cackling from the table had stopped as the boys gaped at their waitress in shock.

“AND YOU IDIOTS CAN GET YOUR OWN DAMN BURGERS!”

The snack shack had gone deathly quiet. Jeno stood as still as a statue, face still stinging, but not quite as painful now. The outburst from this usually quiet and reserved girl shocked him to his very core, but it also made him feel worse. Sure, the ice throwing, name calling, and excessively stupid orders had added fuel to the fire, but it was Jeno’s action that had thrown her over the edge.

“I-I’m… sorry…” he stammered out.

“DON’T SAY SORRY TO ME AFTER THE HELL YOU’VE PUT ME THROUGH!” she screamed.

Jeno’s heart pounded in his chest and his eyes gazed at her fearfully.

“I think it’s time you go home, (y/n), calm down and come back tomorrow,” the owner of the snack shack said, walking out of his office.

(y/n) nodded and let out a sniffle. Jeno didn’t know when she’d started crying. She grabbed the bag the owner handed her before running out of the shack.

“And you, young man. You and your boys get out of my shack. You’re all banned for a week. Come back in here acting like that and you’ll be banned permanently,” he said, eyes fixed angrily on Jeno.

Jeno turned to look back at his gang and sighed, waving a hand for them all to follow.

After the incident, Jeno hadn’t felt much like going on a ride with the rest of the gang. They were all perfectly fine, cackling and talking about the outburst, but Jeno couldn’t stomach it. The way she’d screamed. How upset she’d looked. He was done being a bully. Now he just needed to figure out how to go from bully to courting her, if that were even possible.

He parked his bike beside Jaehyun’s again, happy to see his brother was home and not at the rusty body shop he worked at.

He ran into the house, taking the front steps two at a time, and when he was inside, he made his way to the room he shared with Jaehyun.

“I need to borrow your boombox!” he yelled at the male.

Jaehyun, clearly not expecting the sudden intrusion, jumped off the small bed, stuffing the adult rated magazine he’d been “reading” under his mattress. Jeno rolled his eyes. He didn’t have time to find ways to ruin Jaehyun’s relationship with his girlfriend or rat him out to their mother.

“I. need. Your. boom. Box!” he enunciated.

Jaehyun stared at him incredulously.

“Uh… Why?” he asked.

Jeno shook his head angrily and shoved past Jaehyun to siffle through his side of the room searching for the large, heavy, cassette playing boombox his brother had bought a month ago.

“I need it to fix my (y/n) situation!” Jeno explained as he searched.

Jaehyun groaned.

“Movies aren’t real! That won’t work!”

Jeno ignored him. The guy always showed up at the window of the girl he was hoping to impress and the girl always forgave him. It’d work. It had to.

Jeno grabbed the large boombox from beneath Jaehyun’s bed, groaning at the weight. He heard Jaehyun sigh.

“Good luck then.”

Jeno didn’t need it. This would work. It had to work.

The ride to (y/n)’s house had proven to be a bit difficult as he struggled to hold the boombox against him. The box was large and heavy, with a small cassette player at the top that already had his chosen tape resting inside it.

The trip over was one of many stops and repositionings in an attempt not to drop the box that could very well make everything alright. He could just imagine her grinning in glee and running down to meet him, forgiving him for everything he’d ever done to hurt her.

By the time he got to her house, dusk was falling. He had maybe ten minutes before darkness engulfed the sky. Ten minutes in which he’d be tasked with making everything better.

He moved around the side of the common two story house and found (y/n)’s window easily. She appeared to be dancing to the music playing from the vinyl record player he could almost see perched by the window. It brought a smile to his lips. She looked so happy and carefree.

He could watch her all night, but he was here for a reason. He had to apologize for everything he’d ever done and confess.

He found a rock likely from her driveway by her window in the grass and picked it up. It was only one so he had to make it count.

He pressed play on the cassette player portion of the boombox and ‘It’s sad to belong’ came flowing out melodically from the speakers.

”Met you on a springtime day,”

He threw the rock hard against her window, flinching as he heard the rock bounce off. He was surprised it hadn’t broken the window.

”You were mindin’ your life and I was mindin’ mine too. The window opened and Jeno’s heart hammered in his chest.

“(y/f/n) (y/l/n)! I am so in love with you it hurts. I am so sorry for everything I’ve ever done to hurt you! All the bullying. All the teasing. I’m so sorry. You’re not fat or ugly! You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen! I just couldn’t show it! But I don’t care what my friends think! I love you! I want to be with you! I want to court you! Please forgive me!” he pleaded, not giving the girl a chance to say anything.

When he finished speaking, the song was nearing an end and his body was shaking. The girl looked almost close to tears again and Jeno grew hopeful that in any second, she’d run downstairs and jump into his arms.

“Yes it’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.”

“You love me huh? Well you have a funny way of showing it,” she sneered.

The window slammed shut and the drapes were immediately dropped, leaving Jeno alone in the darkness of the evening, his hopes dashed across the grass.

He’d waited too long to apologize.

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