#i can't explain why this tweet is so fucking funny to me

[graciousdragon]

I FINALLY FUCKING FOUND IT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS TWEET FOR AGES

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for calling my friend annoying?

My friend group and I (15NB) all met on twitter, specifically on anitwt for a specific fandom. Won't name it, but it's super popular, anyway, I really like the main character and I make lots of edits of him that I would post on twitter or just rt art of him I like. I made a few oomfs who liked my edits and we soon became friends :]

tho one of our mutual friends has a delusional attachment to the main character, which I don't mind at all, but the problem is that whenever I post my edits, he (16M) ALWAYS comments something along the lines of "Oh 😳", "I didn't know you felt that way about me", "Did you edge to me while making this", "this is my roman empire <3" and other stuff. It was funny the first few times, but it's become very annoying now and I can't stand to see his replies under my edits. I muted him but even then I know he's still saying that since he says the same comments in my tiktok comments too when I post my edits there.

I know he doesn't control the delusion but it's still annoying he keeps talking about the character as if like I'm personally in love with him when i just like the character, i've gotten sick of it. I vented about it on my priv, I did not say any names but I did say "its fucking annoying getting the same annoying comments from the same person as if im in love w them and yknow not the actual fucking character 🥸🥸". It was all on my priv but I'm pretty sure someone saw the tweet and guessed it was him, since it got leaked with him having a screenshot of it (Ive since deleted it).

He called me ableist and told me it's not his fault he's attached to the character and I should be ashamed for calling someone with a DA annoying for what they can't control and insuiating that they are not the character. I made tweet out of anger which is why I made it on priv but I get now I shouldn't have said that. What I had meant is that I find it really annoying when he makes every comment or post of mine about the character to be about him like I'm flirting with him. I know he's the character but like also not??? Idk how to explain and I'm sorry if it was ableist and still ableist of how I'm explaining it, I just don't want every post of mine to be taken as flirts when I just like the character. (im a lesbian anyway so if that helps).

I made a apology on my main, removed my oomfs who didn't want to be oomfs anymore and deactivated my accounts. I still have time to reactivate them but I don't know if its worth it. I still really like the character but idk if I want to do that all again. I'm just thinking about making a new edit account for a new fandom and moving on, but at the very least I just want to know if I was the TA in this

What are these acronyms?

[jackals-ships]

actually rambling about sexuality and gender id stuff bc i find Language Fascinating and also bc Welcome To The Jackal Won't Shut Up Show <3

once again I have locked the windows (under a cut bc rambling bullet points)

think i told my moirail once that my gender is that tweet like "met a very pretty twink at the bar and we made out turns out he was a very handsome butch actually"

personally i Was a girl (and could be a girl again) and i do partially feel that my circumstances changed me into no longer (or not quite) a girl

however even as a girl i was a very masculine girl. baby jackal could Not tell you why dresses were becoming Bothersome but looking back it's like ah. baby butch that's the energy

(stone butch blues hit a lil too close to home the first time i read it and made me OTL)

boy is fine. man is. Not Quite. girl is what i Used to be. woman is. Not Quite Right Either. ma'am is bad but sir is Nice?

but also im a Guy and a Gal and both of those are gnc. the more like a Gal i feel the more masculine i dress, the more like a Guy i feel the more feminine. used genderfluid as a label for a lil but that also didn't feel Quite It

wlw and mlm solidarity in my jackal? more likely than you might think

DID think "okay maybe im a butch lesbian and some of this is comphet"

but i don't think so bc i don't care Who i kiss i just like kissing and holding hands and cuddling

^ "platonic and romantic Feels different" DO THEY? bc i would kiss my friends. i like kissing. my friends make my chest feel Fuzzy and Soft ?? i have yet 2 see a difference explained that makes Sense and maybe one day i will

i id as some kind of ace flavoring bc. gestures vaguely. it's funny when docs are "ah it must be a libido issue-" one time my theater tech teacher told us we can't fuck in the prop room. it wasn't me that did it but like with my body sending eye emojis I Understand Why Now,

i do not wish to be Touched. i am ambivalent/might enjoy Touching. this has yet to be properly tested but also im unsure if i Care to test it? there are other things i like Much More ?? (the things are kink) (chop chop put on the knights armor we're telling a Story)

(my moirail said my kink is world building and i haven't emotionally recovered since)

fiction is a whole different story obvs im exploring via my little freaks and squishing em together for funsies

but i still don't Understand What Sexual Attraction Feels Like yanno? i have not seen an explanation for this either that makes Sense To Me

tldr this is why i use queer most often as a short hand bc the longer version is just "shit man idk I just work here. sometimes"

[tarmac-rat]

PER THE "NIGHT SKY" POST--

Hi there. My name is Seta LeCarpetron Flow, known shitposter for the hit 2020 video game Cyberpunk 2077 and generally-unwilling Tumblr funnyguy. If you've stumbled upon this post, congratulations! That means you've seen my shitpost about advertising in the night sky and decided to check out my blog, which eventually led you here. Here's a list of commonly asked questions I see about my shitpost that I thought I'd compile here for your enjoyment.

"Why did you do this?" -- this was a shitpost that escaped containment very quickly and with absolutely no warning.

"Never played the game, can you explain the joke to me?"-- In Night City, the game's setting, holographic advertisements are placed on the top of skyscrapers and scroll upwards for the citizens to look at. The response down below from "@/johnnysilverhandofficial" is a reference to the fact that in the game's canon, main character Johnny Silverhand commits an act of terrorism by blowing up the largest skyscraper in the city. It's a whole thing. The account tweeting, "@/NightCityWire", is the name of the YouTube show where devs of the game would give updates on its progress back when it was still being developed. 'Twitter for Holo' on the bottom is a reference to the fact that in the game, the characters use Holos to communication rather than cellphones.

"Why did you think this would be funny?"-- *'I don't know' noise*, I thought this was gonna hit like, 200 notes at most. The Cyberpunk fandom isn't that big.

"Is it based on something?"-- It's based on this exchange on Twitter that happened a couple of years ago, with a few copy edits. I usually credit inspirations and templates in my posts but again, did not think this post was going to blow up as much as it did.

"What even is the purpose of this blog?"-- CYPK2077 shitposting, generally. Occasionally writing, VP, whinging about lore, and complaining that I can't take photos on PC. The works.

"Are you a roleplay blog?"-- I have no fucking idea why people think this is a roleplay blog. This hardly qualifies as a roleplay shitpost. I don't roleplay. Stop telling people that I'm a roleplay blog in the tags, it's really goddamn annoying.

"Alright, so what's you're biggest issue, then?"-- My biggest issue is that people keep taking this post at face value without understanding the context. That's fine, I get it, the changes I made are not very noticeable and I probably edited it a bit too much, but I need to ensure people that this is a JOKE. It is not REAL. I cannot stress enough that this is a shitpost that got wildly out of hand and it's a little depressing that the state of the world is so whack that people look at this, go "yeah, that's real" and reblog it.

"Why are you making THIS post?"-- Because I've had to read thousands of tags on this post day in and day out lamenting the fall of society and our world's headlong rush towards capitalistic annihilation, and frankly, it kinda wears on me after a while. If I can get at least some person to look at this post and be like "Oh, okay, I get it now" before they reblog it at face value, then I'll consider this worth it in my eyes.

"You know this is kind of passive-aggressive, right?"-- yes, yes it is. But when you've had 27,000 people reblog the stupid shitpost you made in 20 minutes because you were bored at work and seen 95% of them take it out of context and/or make dumb assumptions about you based on it, you'd probably be a little Pass-Agro too.

Thank you for reading my FAQ on this blog's most popular shitpost. Never thought the day would come where I'd need to make this, but here we are.

[highoncatfood]

SHIP BINGO TIME

Gonna ask for three cuz I can't pick... teehee

Kokogami, Makoyomi, and umm Dirkuu (my friend talks to me about dirkuu a lot it seems fun)

answering these finally hiiii i went to bed and then had work today so uh yeah

kokogami - now let me explain a few things here.. i checked both 'grew on me' and the big bad 'IDCCC' cuz truthfully i couldnt care less abt it esp in canon idgaf and the 1st few times i rewatched raincode they jst frustrated me sm as a pairing. like at first it was jst me being a shini hater but even after i started to like her more i jst canntttt get myself to like them in any romantic scenerio. but i do love how ppl in the fandom portray them a lot and all the fanart is very cute so i guess wht i mean when i say it grew on me is that ive come to like it more cuz of fanon :thumbsupemoji:

makoyomi - ok so like. when i first watched raincode and saw them interact for the 1st time i was like ok yeah. i see why this is one of the biggest ships in the fandom. and normally i would ship it right away but for some reason i consciously decided to do everything in my power to not let myself ship it. i dont rememeber whyyyy?? i did that?? i think i jst thought that would be rlly funny to like. me and no one else

but anyway with each rewatch i grew to like them more + fandom influenced me. but like i still wouldnt say i ship them.. i like their dynamic but i dont care for it as any kind of romantic/whtever ship neccessairly.. its mostly jst very funny to me. i rlly like yomi having a weird complicated hate crush on makoto and having no idea how to deal with it . like it doesnt even cross his mind to rlly consider it anything possibly romantic or sexual even tho it lowkey might be. who knows. hes jst mad abt it

and i like makoto acting oblivious as shit to it on purpose jst to mess with him even further, i like makoto teasing and bugging him and jst being so fucking annoying. they both r

this tweet is exactly how im tryna be abt them but like. on purpose. idk why its liek the funniest thing ever to me

dirkuu - havent thought abt them for a while but i mean. theyre hilarious i love caliborn and i love dirk . theyre jst stupid as fuck and i love all the fanart of them its like some of my fav pieces of hs fancontent probably.. yeah not much else to say abt it lol

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hello I wanted to talk to you about something. Would like to hear your opinion on it because I really respect it. So on Twitter Trumanblack was trening lately and I saw people being mad that truman Black came back.

Here's couple of tweets, to show you the perspective:

,He is escaping the reality through this character. Being sincere and open is the way to live life not hiding behing fictional characters. He needs to grow up and realize where his priorities are.

Ofc, we do not know him. His choice, his life.

Or

what the fuck happened matty. I don't understand what you're doing right now. should have left Truman in the trash. I don't get it.

Or

This. It seems he was used to dealing with difficult emotions through avoiding them in stage character (he admitted to this in an interview recently) & he wanted to ditch the character & embrace the emotions/be sincere things maybe got too raw & real so he is back in charakter

I'm sorry this message is so long. I'm just thinking about it all. Do you think 'matty' is gone and he will be acting and all that in the upcoming tour? Cause I wouldnt like it and it won't be good for him too :/

Again sorry this is so long

No, I mean, this is an interesting topic that I think we should 100% get into to "warm up" for the tour. I bet we'll have even more to say once we start getting content from the first new shows in September. (omg not too far away now aaaahhhh), so everyone feel free to chime in, but basically, here is how I think about it ( this is probs gonna be long. apologies in advance. im gonna add a "keep reading" so i dont destroy y'all feeds).

The first thing we need to remember is that Matty's "Truman Black" persona pre-dates the ATVB tour. He's always been "Truman Black." He's always been a jokester, a meme lord, a bit chaotic, a bit sexy, a pastiche or caricature of himself.

The question, then, is why? Why does he do this?

For several reasons. And he's been nothing but honest with us about them.

From as early on as 23 years old, when ST first started blowing up and the boys cultivated a following, Matty became acutely aware of the spotlight and the way that fans idealized and idolized him. Sexually desired him, saw him as this rockstar figure. And it made him uncomfortable because, well, no real human being could live up to such a fantasy, right? That's really what the song "Love Me" is about. He experienced this during album 1 and instantly wrote about it for album 2. like thats how strongly he felt it. He's more eloquent about it than I can ever be, so I'm going to link you to his explanation of "Love Me."

so, as he's pointing out in his explanation, he plays this kinda ridiculous character to "subvert" expectations. right? even in the mv, he has cardboard cut outs of sex symbols and heart throbs like Harry Styles etc. and he takes his shirt off and stands next to them and makes out with them and all that. Usually, the normal rockstar-fan relationship is that we project our fantasy upon the rockstar and the rockstar accepts it obligingly. But Matty's going "well this is really kinda silly, and it makes me feel sooo disconnected from myself if i turn into this person everyone thinks i am, so what am i gonna do? oh I'll just lean into the silliness." so if he can't do the "fake authenticity" of the cliched rockstar, hes gonna do a very authentic fakeness of being loud, and silly goofy funny messy larger than life, etc.

He explains it here (I've cued it up to the right moment in the video). He's right, if you're a stranger and you know nothing about him and you see him behaving in a Truman-black-esque way, you'd think "wow what an arrogant piece of shit this dude is." BUT if you realize that he's like "i KNOW that you all think of me this way. And YOU (the fans) know that I know that you think that way." we become in on the joke.

You know what im gonna say here. Postmodernism. LMAO. No, but for real. Postmodern art naturally has this "meta" habit. It's art that knows itself as art. It's aware that it's not real. Like movies that are constantly referring to themselves as movies. breaking the experience of illusion for you by constantly reminding you that what you are watching has been filmed and edited. it's not real life. Thats what Matty does with the "rockstar persona" constantly reminding you "it's not real. im just a character made up in all our heads. I'm actually a normal human being but my job is kinda fuckin mental."

So, I think those 4 points, from VERRRYYY early in Matty's career are the genesis of Truman Black. Thats what "Truman Black" is based on.

You could ask, well, if Matty has been this way from the very beginning how come it's such a problem now? how come this whole thing is a new issue??

I think its the perfect storm of this year.

The ATVB show was designed to push the blurry lines between Matty Healy/ Truman Black to their very limits cuz they added extra layers of meta-theatricality to an already meta situation haha. He plays himself in the couch scene, and the raw meat scene, but he's also kind of playing a symbolic version of himself that's supposed to apply to a lot of straight men, but then the show is also about the lines between his personal and his public lives.

Then he goes and does the Truman Black rockstar shit in the second half of the show. So, the tour really could've been called "Matty Healy: At His Very Truman Black-esque" and it would have been accurate. Like he took this concept and stretched it to see how far it could take him.

Then of course you have the podcast thing, the taylor swift thing, the twitter cancelation cycles, etc etc etc.

There were so many new eyes on him. and so much out of context (remember, meta-theatricality needs context. needs the audience to be in on the joke. we have to know 'oh hes making fun of himself being a rockstar') cuz if we don't have the context he really comes off as a guy who's in love with himself and his rockstar status haha.

Now that alllll of this background is out of the way, lets discuss the questions that you've brought up.

Is he Matty or is he Truman Black?

I think lots of people didn't notice that when he threw out the lab coat that was labeled "truman black" in the video, he wasn't serious. he instantly starts doing the robot dance, flipping the camera off with his finger, acting disruptive by riding the trolley thingy. All Truman Black behavior: mischief, breaking rules, etc. so it was a "meta" joke. he tossed the character then acted like the character. a contradiction. ironic. Truman Black's never been gone! he and Matty are intertwined necessarily. you can't separate one from the other.

Is he gonna be acting at all in S...ATVB?

Yes. He will. He's working with Brad Troemel whose sense of humor is very close to Matty's and who loves irony and postmodernism.

Does he use Truman Black to "hide from difficult situations" or to "run from his emotions" or whatever that tweet was saying? no. He uses it to deliver social critique. About masculinity being ridiculous, about our relationship to artists and the fantasy of perfection in Rockstar cliches, about performative wokeness.

Those are the very same beliefs that Matty Healy believes in. hes always criticizing these things in interviews and speeches and stuff. So, no, hes not hiding behind the character to disassociate he IS the same guy, just a slightly less dramatized and exaggerated version.Thats why he doesn't completely turn it on or off at any time. Thats why it's not that he was willing to stop it for a relationship and then start it again when it didn't work out. Thats not how Matty operates at allll.

He didn't throw out his belief that performative wokeness is harmful and stupid, he didn't throw out his belief that leftist masculinity is confusing, he didn't change who he is at his very core just to be mr nice guy, or to be sincere, or to get his dick sucked off by Taylor Swift, or whatever these people think is the reason. He's always been this way; he very likely will always be this way. Thats just how he makes art and how he thinks about the world.

He's always BEEN open to embracing emotions and being sincere. "I love you, don't you mind?" "we're only human we're just like you man" "I'll quote on the road like a twat," "im petrified of being alone, its pathetic," "im just pissed off because you pied me off after your show," "you pick a fight and i'll define it" "i said its cool i was messing but its true," "pretend that i know what it is (i wasn't listening)" "sorry that I quite like seeing myself on the news. im sorry that im someone that i wish i could change, but ive always been the same."

would an emotionally stunted anti-sincerity guy write ANY OF THESE LYRICS? idk, you tell me.

[leojurand]

i see people on booktwt praising the radiant emperor duology very often and every time, instead of remembering that i actually had fun reading those books, i think about how flawed they are, and i wish i could understand the endless praise they get. but i sadly do not.

and then i remembered a tweet by shelley parker-chan about dunnett and her novels that actually explains, in a way, why their writing doesn't work for me. the tweet was a reply to someone and it was:

but Dunnett in general never feeds me the (emotional) food and I get frustrated. like bitch these power plays are so good but why don’t you make it JUICY. don’t make me have to use my imagination

it's actually very funny how this explains exactly the problems i have with their duology. clearly, dunnett is a big fan of subtlety. also very clear, SPC is not, and doesn't utilize it much (at all) in their novels.

and the complete lack of subtlety is something that really bothered me in the radiant emperor duology. that, hand in hand with the endless repetition, makes sure you don't have to use your imagination when it comes to the characters. ever. you will be told how they feel about each other and about what's happening and about what they've done and will do. constantly

but that, for me at least, doesn't make you connect with those characters more, and it doesn't make them more complex (in fact, sometimes they feel like two emotions in a trenchcoat lol). of course too little emotional food can leave you hungry, but too much can cause indigestion

the thing is, i don't need dunnett to tell me that, for example, nicholas was battling with the pain of gelis's betrayal and the profound grief of the loss of his closest friend post-SoG. i know he's dealing with those feelings, i'm seeing it, because he fucked off to be a menace in scotland and he's wearing all black and he's kidnapping people to torment them for a while (lol). and that's so much more interesting than writing paragraph after paragraph of his emotional breakdown. because, yes, i can use my imagination. i like doing that!

would the lymond chronicles be better if we got descriptions of how lymond is drowning in pain and self-hatred during basically every chapter in RC or CM? it's obvious that that's what's happening to him. i think it would actually make the books and the character worse, because doing that doesn't fit who lymond is, just like it wouldn't fit nicholas.

the constant repetition of how zhu, ouyang, and baoxiang feel are not "juicy" to me. they're fine characters and i like them. i would even say they're pretty interesting! but you could pretty much define each of them with a couple of words and you would get like. 90% of who they are. no subtlety. no imagination.

you can't define lymond with two or three or ten words. same with nicholas. even dunnett's characters who seem more simple and straightforward, like richard or julius, are more complex than that

another thing is that focusing so much on the emotional journey of the characters means that other parts of the book are completely neglected. the radiant emperor duology is a low fantasy historical fiction. but the historical part of it is given almost no attention at all. if i pick a histfic book, i want to feel immersed in the time period it's portraying. that didn't happen at all while reading these two books. you may like dunnett's minute historical details more or less (hell, i'm a huge fan and even i want to skip most of the historical mumbo jumbo in some of her novels (the ringed castle)), but goddamn she makes you feel immersed in the 15th and 16th centuries

anyway, the conclusion here is that SPC doesn't love dunnett's style, and i don't love their style. i will probably still read their following books when they get published, but i really, really hope they learn just one thing: sometimes (most of the time) books that are subtle, are better

[abozsazzz]

1

@holidayturkeyy

(written from of a friend of mine sharing experience)

bullying: I'm one of the victims of them bullying me, I was 16 years old, confused about a small headcanon and still firguing out more underneath the nonbinary umbrella, I didn't know being confused would causw such hate and attacking toward me? i came off polite and confused at the beginning until her 19-25 year old friends attacked me, it was scary for me to be attacked by literal adults because i was confused over a small thing, it sent me in an panic and of course I striked back with anger I'll admit that, but the audacity to go out of your way to send adults to actual an literal minor is so immature and gross in all ways, a simple question asked and attacked, like what was the issue? you got all your friends to come at me because i butthurt you over being confused, you bully literal minors you even laughed about this after in your tweets when you knew I was getting attacked, you blocked me because you didnt know how to defend yourself in any situations your brought up in alone, you always have to have your friends/followers hold your hand to do to it for you. you are 18 years old, on twitter, acting this way towards minors, im mentioning this now because it still bothers me, of course an minor would still be bothered by this, why wouldn't they be? literally attacked by grown people for absolutely no reason, at least one of your friends were mature enough to explain politey to me and apologize, but you didn't for getting everyone to attack me? that's just cruel and you block and laugh behind my back about it, real mature of you. 

grooming: your fan base is young, you forces your own fetishs and headcanons on minors, to be exact, 13-15 at maxmin, your put an bad influence on them and most likely brainwash them into your fetishing ideals. you do not care how young of minors come across your page and how badly you influence them, you do not care about minors feelings one bit because as an victim once more you thought it was funny how i got attacked by your friends through a headcannon, its grooming, you and your friends are grooming little kids, it's an pattern with your friends to manipulate and guilt trip little kids, your all adults and your doing this to little kids, grow up?

asexual fetish: as you may know, izzy is in the fnaf fandom and draws some certain things, they have an NSFW account on twitter and i have came across it, first off they headcanon freddy asexual and so they then make freddy having sex with bonnie afterwards when literally .. asexuals dont even contain in sexual things, (i have an asexual friend) and this is just fetishing asexuals now at this point too, like how are you gonna excuse yourself oh; "all asexuals can have sex" are talking about this biologically in science term because yes there is a thing called asexual reproduction, but knowing izzy they don't know certain meanings and terms, asexual reproduction is doing it individually and reproducing yourself, not reproducing with any other mate this is more so independent, but besides that freddy literally pounds bonnie in the ass and suddenly isn't asexual anymore? and saying all asexuals is the poorest fucking excuse i heard in a life time, that's so fucking stupid you gotta be stupid to be saying that, it's disrespectful to asexuals, ASNWER me this izzy, or not because you can't defend yourself okay, we all know this, what's the point of even calling Freddy asexual then? like the point of being asexual is not involving in sexual activity; your uncomfortable with sexual things; no desire in sex, so Freddy wasn't even considered asexual before but you decide to draw porn of an asexual because your only desire is to fetish around things because you think it's okay, when its obviously not. You pulled the "I never made freddy asexual!!" On your tweets, and suddenly you find an old art piece of yours and even catch your own self in a lie or im assuming you pretended not to remember, you lied to yourself (not really), but lie to your audience and you wonder you lost half your followers.

lesbian fetish: they claim that their Bonnie headcanon is bisexual enby and their monty headcanon is lesbian and trans, I see no problem with the Monty headcanon but the Bonnie one is unbelievable like, you claim they aren't lesbians but you call them "my girls!" All the time, you also claim in your last Tumblr that bonnie is based off you and he helped you find your gender and sexuality? how does taking scott's fnaf character, making it as your "own" help find yourself, when you think about this, this is really fucking stupid, I don't know how you would find yourself through an animotronic rabbit from an horror game, this is honestly giving me second hand embarrassment, also how are you referring to yourself a girl still when you also refer to yourself as he/him or they/them, don't pull the misgendering card on this either because firstly you call yourself a woman but your going by he/they so what's the point? yes gender and pronouns aren't equal but how are you gonna even refer to yourself a girl when your uncomfortable with she/her pronouns and go with he/they, it makes 0 sense, and so if your a "he/they" lesbian then your just straight, not everything has to be labeled lesbian Izzy, if your that just don't put lesbian out there for the entire world to know this for attention, this all falls with lesbain fetishing because you deny that your not feitshing over lesbians right? But always claim to go out of your way to call them lesbian and draw porn of them 24/7 sexualizing them but it's okay according to Izzy in their delusional fantasy world. 

conclusion, your fucking delusional and immature as fuck, you are damn well 18 years old on the Internet bullying minors, fetishing, and acting as child as you seem enough already, your the literal definition of second hand embarrassment and dont know what anything means because nothing clicks in your small ass brain, i wouldn't even be surprised if you dont respond to this yourself, because your a flat out pussy with being called out and get your friends to defend you because you can't defend yourself in your own battles, its really sad that you can't even defend yourself on this, because your scared and you know damn well im right about everything; gonna pull the hit block button and talk shit on your tweets what happened to "I dont want to bring this stuff on twitter.." because your using this attention seeking at this point. You realize nobody feels bad about you, I don't care if I'm being rude or not this is straight facts, your also an adult so stop acting like a fucking child and act your age it's sad to say I'm just a year younger then you and i act more mature then you, i dont spend my time playing with bonnie and monty dolls dressing them up everyday, do adults even do that.. like honestly this is so fucking sad to see, so moral of the story, grow up, stop bullying minors, and learn how to defend yourself in these situations, good day or night. 

[mycatwantstoeatpins]

[Description: series of tweets from a raconteur of repute (@JohannesTEvans):

Mermaid who's all tentacles who's worried about having sex with her girlfriend bc she doesn't want to hurt her with Too Much vs gf who's like (all caps) give me the tentacles please and thank you (end all caps)

magical sex worker who works with a fae who can turn invisible to do some really fun shots for porn and their (censored) OnlyFans

telepath who comes from a species that doesn't really have orgasms or an equivalent but going down on their partner they (all caps) feel it (end all caps) and they (all caps) very much (end all caps) would like to feel more overstim ahoy

guy calling in sick to work because he just had sex with his merman boyfriend for the first time this morning and he had no idea he was going to lay so many eggs and he can (all caps) kind (end all caps) of move but his shirts don't fit and he has 0 bladder capacity right now

woman who was fully prepared (and excited!) for her werewolf boyfriend's knot but the towels she put down were in (all caps) no way (end all caps) sufficient to cover for the aftermath

guy with the most painful hangover bc his vampire boyfriend drank from him during sex last night and it was extremely hot but the venom is wearing off rn and the low is (all caps) really (end all caps) putting the high in perspective

Same boyfriend awkwardly explains to his doctor a year later that he suspects why anaemia has suddenly become an issue and agrees to take supplements and to limit the Kinky biting sex

woman who comes away from kissing with her spider girlfriend at a party and comes away absolutely sticky with silk

mothman who keeps making noises too high pitched for their lover to actually hear but every time they fuck all the neighbourhood dogs start howling

man who has sex with a fertility god several times and was assured that he can't get pregnant but apparently what (all caps) can (end all caps) happen is that he can spontaneously start lactating between apologies the god is trying not to laugh uproariously

pixie who experimentally sneaks up to try a human's vibrator which is bigger than they are and comes so hard they pass out

snakewoman fucking her girlfriend and she's so into it and she's having a great time and in fact she's (all caps) so into it (end all caps) … she leaves a seal when she pulls out and her girlfriend is like "what is this" and she's like,,, oh my god,,, I will die of the embarrassment

man who has sex with his dryad for the first time and they get really into it it's only afterward he realises the whole room is covered with ivy, bursting with flowers, and that there are roses hanging down from the light fixture he is (all caps) not (end all caps) getting his deposit back

wait wait wait here's my best one yet werewolf with erectile issues who takes viagra and after twelve hours his knot (all caps) still (end all caps) hasn't gone down and his boyfriend is like "babe I know it's embarrassing but we need to call a doctor"

imo sex is funny because it's messy and ridiculous, kink and fetish even more so, and it's something that can be so much fun when treated light-heartedly and adding points of silly bits of messiness to monsterfucking (all caps) really (end all caps) has so much comedic potential

okay but merman who has ink sacs and when he comes too hard-- him and his egg stuffed boyfriend (all caps) covered (end all caps) in sticky black ink and the boyfriend is like. I want to be angry at you but the idea that you have ink sacs bc there's something big enough to predate on you terrifies me

(all caps) wait (end all caps) werewolf boyfriend who hasn't told his boyfriend he's a werewolf yet and it's the day before the full moon and he keeps going, oh, maybe, maybe we shouldn't, oh I have another appointment, I don't have time-- and the boyfriend is (all caps) completely (end all caps) caught out by the knot

vampire who plays into his boyfriend's kink but he barely feels it even when his boyfriend spanks his arse as hard as he can and the vampire (all caps) three times (end all caps) accidentally breaks the restraints his boyfriend has him in

(all caps) wait wait (end all caps) vampire into painplay and denial whose girlfriend wears pure silver piercings through her nipples and her clit so that He Can't Touch

/end description]

more on my Twitter

[radialarch]

so I can't actually look at your taskmaster posts straight on bc it's like looking at some sort of like higher being and I'm simply not strong enough. But I still want to ask you about it bc I really like TM!

Do you have a favorite season? A favorite contestant? Do you have thoughts on Liza Tarbuck's final task?

asdfa;j;kl anon i'm so sorry for the unhinged tweets but this is so funny to me. how do you watch the show. liza literally said alex had "a greedy bottom" on air & i HAVE to assume alex enjoyed this because it aired! on the television show which alex executively produces! god fucking bless.

also THE TASK was to "tell the taskmaster you love him in the most meaningful way" and at no point did anyone feel the need to pause & explain why having alex sit on a cake would be meaningful to greg, presumably because every single episode prior to this one had already made it perfectly clear.

there are such delightful moments in basically every series and if i talked about them all we would genuinely be here all day but here's some quick standouts:

series 5

the songs about rosalind were SUCH bangers? mark & nish's in particular was a triumph, loved when they revealed their musical talents. overall greg's dynamic with nish was SO funny. i really enjoy when they have secret contestant-specific tasks & want every single cheeky text revealed. sally is also... so hot, my god. nail that watercooler.

series 7

everyone had such a good dynamic, greg had a fantastic time, rhod tried to strip alex every episode, just chaotic as hell. james absolutely breaking in studio, phil leaning into the dick, everyone was game for anything & it really gelled wonderfully. sidebar the nearly-nude picture of greg is GREAT, i won't let anyone say anything otherwise.

series 15

"this is a show about pedantry" frankie is so correct and his delivery is impeccable, he made me cry-laugh so many times. ivo is a hopeful puppy and i loved it every time anyone suggested he needed a refund from eton. mae is obviously the hottest of them all but kiell subbing in for coc was also a delight. a lovely cast.

series 16

how are the sues so adorable???? i love that they became bffs immediately. also susan is the CUTEST, her outfits were incredible, and rada was obviously worth all thirty grand from the way she mimed every idiom to perfection. julian's dynamic with alex, also unmatched. genuinely the unhinged energy in this one was off the charts.

[honestlywtf04]

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

warning : angst, heartbreak, betrayal, swearing, crying, mentions of cheating, death threats.

summary : he may have owned up to it, but actions have consequences.

a/n: thank you to @venicebixch for reading this first and telling me to post this <3 - 💫

dear y/n,

watching you walk out of my room so aggressively and angrily, is an image i'll never be able to get out of my head.

your friends dm'ing me calling a 'piece of shit' or an asshole is something i don't blame them for. my actions have consequences.

the consequence was watching you move on. but not with anyone, but with my best friend. that shit hurts. when thomas showed me the picture you posted on your story of you and jett kissing, multiple emotions rushed through me. anger, unhappiness, heartbreak, betrayal, and so much more that i can't even put to words.

regret is something i would not feel. everything i would do, i wouldn't care about what anyone felt. but why were you the first to show me that?

why did i have to be so attached to you? why do i have to love you so much but be so stupid?

why did i sleep with her knowing that i shouldn't have?

you found out and you left. the second you stepped out of the door, it was like the ceiling was collapsing on top of me and no one was able to help me.

i felt like i was suffocating, i couldn't breathe. i was laying on the floor, disgusted with myself for hurting the one good thing in my life.

while i was pretty much dying in my room all alone, you were probably with jett. i never expected you two to be together at all.

you guys are together and now i'll never get you back. but i wouldn't expect anything else. you deserve to move on, as much as it hurts me, you deserve happiness and i hope jett is giving you that.

i miss you, i love you, and i hope that one day, you'll forgive me.

love,

vinnie the pooh

i sighed as i read the letter that i received three months ago.

when i first received it, i cried. you can't blame me, vinnie will always have a piece of my heart that will belong to him. that's the funny thing about first loves, they will always find their way back into your mind whether you like it or not.

jett and i celebrated our four month anniversary last week. you might think 'rebound' but he is far from that.

he was the one that told me that vinnie had sex with faith. he thought that 'bro code doesn't exist if he fucks up like that'.

he would spend the night at my house, rubbing my back to calm down my sobs. making me laugh at any time and any place.

as time progressed, so did our feelings. we never would've expected to be together but life happens i suppose.

as far as i know, vinnie cheated once. but that was one too many times. i don't know when or where it happened and i don't care.

my phone starts ringing 'jett❤️' is being shown on my screen. smile and answer the phone.

"hey baby, um how are you?" he asks sounding concerned.

"uh fine? why?" i ask, confused by his question and tone.

'"have you seen twitter?" he sighs. i furrow my eyebrows while mumbling a confused "no."

"i'll call you after i check it out," i hang up not allowing him to respond.

i open twitter and check whats trending. my eyes widen when i see 'y/n cheated on vinnie hacker with jett ashford' as #1 on trending.

huh?

i click on it, seeing a post of vinnie liking a tweet about someone accusing me of cheating.

my dm's being flooded with his fangirls saying 'cheater' or 'kys'

vinnie is one dumb motherfucker.

@y/n.y/l/n tweeted

i'm going live in a few minutes to explain the whole thing. the hate needs to stop.

💬 128k 🔁 70k ❤️ 259k

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"hello welcome everyone," i greet, biting my lip anxiously.

'homie hopper'

'downgrade😭'

'told y'all she's a hoe'

"you know what, i'm not gonna wait for people to join," i smile in frustration.

"let me just clear the whole thing, i did not cheat on vinnie with jett. i didn't cheat at all," i sigh, trying to calm down.

"vinnie lied, and if you want proof..." i stand up to grab the letter he gave me, not noticing that vinnie and the entire hype house house joined the live.

90k people joined the live

i walk back towards my phone with the letter in my hand. "this. this letter vinnie gave to me pouring out his emotions," i hold up the folded letter.

"i will not read the whole thing but i will read one small part," i unfold it and search for that one specific sentence.

"ah! 'why did i sleep with her knowing that i shouldn't have?' " i read. i check the comments seeing what they are saying.

'she's still lying, the paper is probably blank'

'still don't believe you'

"y'all don't believe me?" i raise an eyebrow. i see that nailea and jett are watching the live so i speak, "nai please join the live for more confirmation." i accept her request.

"hey," nai smiles when she joins. "hey. now please explain the whole thing, because i don't even know it, only you and jett." she nods.

"so i went to hype because i needed to talk to vinnie about something to get you for the anniversary that your mom passed away," she starts and i nod.

"so i went there and long story short he was fucking someone, i will not get into details but i'll just say that they were doing it," i lick the inside of my cheek, wanting to ignore the fury i'm currently feeling.

"he saw me and begged me not to tell you, he was crying and shit. it was kinda embarrassing," she mumbles the last part.

"so i left and told jett, just to see if he knew about it. turns out he didn't and i'm pretty sure that's when he told you," i nod in response.

"yes, he told me. jett was there for me the entire time that i was in my room locked up thinking about what i did wrong. we started getting closer and eventually started dating, no he's not a rebound so i don't wanna hear it."

"jett and i just had our four month anniversary last week, and three months before that, i received this letter from vinnie via mail," i hold up the letter.

"vinnie, i hope you're watching this and if you're not, then tiktokroom will post this. don't send me a letter talking about bullshit then lie to your own damn fans saying that i cheated on you. you wrote on this piece of paper saying that you felt betrayed that i got with jett," i pause to take a deep breath.

"well guess what, i felt betrayed that you slept with her the same week that marked three years that my fucking mom died," i'm not sad, i'm more pissed.

"so i'm sorry if what you wanted was sex but i was mourning the loss of my mom while you were having sex with someone that wasn't me."

'damn vinnie'

'we love you y/n'

'it happened months ago why do you still care 💀'

"believe me or not, i don't care. but i know the truth and so does everyone else that i know. vinnie you are not forgiven and you'll never be. fuck you," and with that i end the live.

"it's gonna be okay," i hear my boyfriend speak from behind me. i turn around and smile at him, not questioning how he got in.

"i know it will, i just don't know what he was thinking," i sigh. he grabs my arm, making me stand up and wraps his arms around my waist.

i smile and wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him back. "i love you," he whispers.

butterflies... wait what?

"i-it's okay if you don't feel the same way, i j-just wanted to get it off my chest," he looks down, anxiously waiting for me to respond.

i smile and connect out lips, he immediately kisses back. his tense body relaxing to my touch.

i pull away, heat rising towards my cheeks at the way he's staring at me, like the only girl in the world.

i love him

"i love you too," he smiles brightly, showing his pearly white teeth.

"i. love. you." he pecks my lips repeatedly after each word, causing me to giggle.

our moment is cut short when my phone starts blowing up. "it's gonna be about him just watch," i release a humorless chuckle.

i smile at him before unwrapping my arms and grabbing my phone.

@tiktokroom tweeted

looks like #vinniehacker account got banned on all platforms, including his twitch account after seemingly lying about his ex-girlfriend #y/n.y/l/n cheating on him with his best friend #jettashford. thoughts? ☕️👀

💬 200k     🔁 150k     ❤️ 483k

vinnie's pov:

"vinnie what the fuck!" thomas yells at me. i run my fingers through my hair. i can't log into any of my accounts.

"i don't know okay! i was just so fucking pissed!" i yell back.

"boohoo your ex moved on, deal with it! get this fixed or you're out of the house!" he threatens.

"you can't do that!" i stand up. "yes i can, you wanna know why? 'cause i own this fucking house. i made this for content, and if you can't do that, then you have no place here," he mutters, looking straight into my eyes clenching is jaw.

he gives me one last look before storming out of my room.

"damn your fans really turned on you," nikita teases. i look at her with a 'not now' look.

"oop- sorry," she walks out.

i take a breath of frustration.  "why do i have to be so stupid."

"i don't know, you tell me," i hear a soft spoken voice that i've been wanting to hear for months.

i turn around and my jaw almost drops at the sight in front of me. she is actually standing a few feet away from me looking so effortlessly beautiful.

oh how bad i want to sweep her off her feet and shower her with kisses telling her how much i love her.

"y-y/n? what are you doing here?"

"we haven't talked in months and the most recent thing i've heard about you on the internet is how you said i cheated on you," she steps towards me but stops once she's about five feet away from me and crosses her arms.

"i'm sorry," i say so quietly she can barely hear me.

"for what exactly?" her eyebrow raises, waiting for my pathetic answer.

"for everything. for cheating on you, for making up lies about you, for hurting you, and for ruining the best thing i ever had," i look into her eyes. the same eyes i fell in love with. i still have hope that she has the least bit of love for me. but she's with him.

"vinnie.. i forgive you, i do."

my eyes soften at her words.

"i still love you," i blurt out, but not regretting saying it.

"vinnie.."

"no please let me talk. i fucking love you, more than anything or anyone in this world. i am so damn sorry that i cheated, i have never regretted anything as much as i regret that. you have no idea how much it pains me to see all the pictures of you and jett on social media. or seeing comments on my posts about how happy you look and it's not with me. it hurts that i can't pick you up and kiss you or even hug you. i hate myself for hurting you, i hate myself for all the struggles i put you through, i love you and i strongly believe that somewhere in your kind heart you still love me even if you don't want to admit it," unwanted tears start slipping out.

every. single. word. i said, i meant it. i love this woman, i want to have kids with her, i want her to be my wife, i just want her to be mine again no matter what it takes.

she closes her eyes to fight back tears.

"vi-nnie," her voice cracks slightly.

"i will always love you-" my eyes go from upset to hopeful.

"-but, you had your chance and there is no going back," my mouth opens a little and more tears start falling out.

"what we had was beautiful, but that's in the past now. you have to move on like me. find another person to want to have kids with, another person to call your yours, find another person for you to love and another person that you'll want to marry," her words are heartbreaking, i don't want anyone except her.

"i don't want anyone but you," i hiccup. how could she tell me to move on?

"i'm sorry vinnie, but you have to move on," is the last thing she says before walking away leaving me there. heartbroken, sobbing uncontrollably. my heart is physically in pain from her heartbreaking words. how can she think i want someone else?

"i love you and i'm proud of you baby," i hear, jett? say from the hallway.

please don't say it

"i love you too," she whispers back making me cry even harder.

author's note: feedback is very much appreciated <3

[itsrapsodia]

I'll level with you I really didn't care for mid season 1 Yennefer, she got on my nerves. I did not like her and geralts relationship (it was bad for both of them tbh, geralts coming out looking worse though by far). The thing is though yennefer's scenes with Jaskier this season were so good, they're really cute and FUNNY together. THEY HAVE ACTUAL CHEMISTRY!!! As buds AND as a couple! i normally ship geraskier but show geralt can take a long walk off of a short pier. Yenskier's growing on me

oh man I definitely have Opinions about it. (Future Raps note: this got too long and it's twn critical, so it's going under a Read More fdkjgdf)

I also didnt like Yen on 1st watch, but I did on my 2nd, and I think it has a lot to do with the timeline issue. She had a BIG change of heart from 1 episode to the next, and they tell us it's cause she's spent decades in court and realized it's not what she wanted but we as the audience dont get to SEE or FEEL that change. She later wants a kid, and a casual viewer feels like just an hour ago she was ok with giving that up to gain power, it was a choice she made and it's so weird that she regretted that (in what FEELS like) immediately after and seems to be blaming other people for it.

more understanding of the chartacter helps get her motivations better, but i think she suffered the Too Much Info in Too Little Time curse, and also from the fact that the writers love to say a lot but show very little. Sometimes they won't even say it ON the show!! They'll say it on a tweet or an interview! This makes me extremely angry, if you can't tell!!!

Yen/Geralt suffers from the same, tbh. Even worse, the push for the relationship works to the detriment of Yennefer as a character imo. In s1 we're supposed to see them as this epic tragic love story, but again we are just TOLD that a long time happened in between eps 5 and 6. We are TOLD that they're bad for each other. We see some fucking FLASHBACKS in 2 minutes, with a voice over of them explaining how they felt so bad whenever they woke up and the other was gone. It's bullshit and most people didnt get it! That's why you get 10000 fics believing that this was only the 2nd time they met and it was only a couple months later. Cause that's not how you tell a story.

And THEN we have their reunion in s2, which i still think was terrible writing. It makes sense from Geralt's pov, cause he thought she was dead, but yennefer never thought that. FDJKGNDF yen didnt even THINK about him much unless someone else mentioned him!! And when she did she was mad and hurt! WHAT'S THAT "how is this possible?" LINE, it makes no sense. Their problem wasn't solved. Geralt doesnt even fucking apologize, they dont TALK about it.

So yeah it makes no sense for her character, but it DOES make sense for PLOT PURPOSES. They needed them to be together and happy and show them with Ciri as the Happy Family they could be, so the "betrayal" would hurt more.

It also totally ruins what could've been an interesting progression of Yen's character. You know. A girl who went from pushing her friends into an eel pond cause "sometimes the best thing a flower can do for us is die" to deciding that sacrificing the life of a child for her own benefit wasn't worth it ON HER OWN, and instead gave her the line "i didnt know she was your child"

anyway. ANYWAY DFKJGNDF this got out of control oh god. I haven't had COFFEE yet it's too early for this. sorry for my ramblings. I cant even remember what the ask was about, hold on- AH YEAH. yennskier this season was great, I agree. I liked them already but now I'm fully on board, they deserve the best ❤

KJFDNG ANYWAY IM SORRY ANON, IM SALTY ABOUT SOME THINGS.

[stylistiquements]

Day 1 : Soap Bubbles.

𐐪𐑂 Pairing : Sapnap x fem!reader {Playlist}

𐐪𐑂 Summary : You're being introduce to the internet in a peculiar way, it's up to you to decide what you're going to do with it.

𐐪𐑂 Word count : 1.4k | W: written part underneath

𐐪𐑂 Warning : very few swears

Masterlist | Previous | Next

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

The coffee that sinks inside your stomach brings out a grimace and a click of your tongue where the taste stains; too bitter, too acidic but you’ll drink it anyway and to the last drop; there is something about the idea of spending time with three best friends that is so made of spring and honey that you wish to miss none of it.

“Someone is lurking,” George contemplates out loud, and the call goes silent for a second as if to look for the intruder. And it would so easy to flinch, to hit the back pedal, because you almost feel like one being exposed front stage like that. But today- today is not that day.

It's not that you don't want to join the discussion, it's that it takes a second to warm up, to absorb the energy and become one with it.

And sometimes, all it takes is Sapnap to exclaim, “Panini head, my beloved!” for your smile synchronizes with his chuckles. Somehow, once noticed by the right person, life flows back naturally.

George and Dream greets you in trailing unison, like two kids forced to greet their unwelcomed aunt on a sunday afternoon.

“H-hey troublemakers,” you finally say. Your voice is still quiet, not reluctant, but rather uncertain. It doesn't bother anyone.

“I’m beating Dream’s ass at chess and he’s bitter,” Sap explains, and you silently nod, as if they were able to see you.

A long silence follows along, rythmed by clicks of mouses and keyboards and it falls in your ears like high droplets. It's comfortable. It's intimate, shared with friends only.

"We haven't heard from you in a while," Dream says. "I mean ... before the clout fiasco."

You wouldn't exactly call it a fiasco, even though you don't really like the idea of being perceived a little too closely from the eyes of twitter.com, but you do agree anyway, "I've been caught up on college essays lately."

"That sucks," George probably adds.

“Good thing you’re here, then,” Dream notes, simple as a breath. “This is a worry-free zone.”

It hovers for a second, carried by George’s approval hum.

You squint suspiciously, detective mode, at the profile pictures that light on and off before your eyes, “Thanks, dream.”

He scoffs a “sure” and you’re not sure why you sense a bit of irony stuck on the back of his teeth. You're so tempted to call him out, but you don't. Instead, you write a mental note of this odd moment.

“It’s because I told him about your three brothers and now he’s scared they’re gonna find him and kick his ass,” Sap explains as if he just read your mind.

Sometimes, there’s this thing in the air, though you’re miles away. Something like a connection. There’s this thing when you don’t need to talk for Sap to understand. Sharing one brain cell, you dismiss ironically. Probably coincidences and predictability, but it always sounds a little special, a little like something you’d wish to be out of this world, like morning dew and fairy circles. And it makes you feel safe, at home, just like snuggling up in the sheets during a stormy night. Your smile washes up the sleeve of your hoodie, covered palm carefully hiding your chuckles.

“Three older brothers,” George muses, and there’s no telling if it’s something meant for you to hear. “That’s kinda scary.”

“You better be scared, one of them is probably your FBI agent,” you tease mindlessly, though there's nothing scary about those three grown men.

“I’m British, Bunny,” he points out. Whether the exasperation in his tone is fake or genuine, that, you can’t tell, but you play it cool, grin carved so deep it almost hurts. Dream’s wheezes rise and fall in the background.

“Say that to his face then,” you outbid smirkingly after a second of silence, heels growing into the carpet to make your chair spin slowly left and right, so breezily.

“I’d praise you for the rest of my life if you-Oooooooh your ass is wacked. Your ass is so wacked, dude. You fucked up so bad,” Sapnap chokes out between strings of giggles.

“Oh no, my streamer is losing his game?” You theatrically pout. “My streamer Dreamwastaken, have you met him? Guess you don’t need any of my brothers to kick your ass.”

“Okay yeah- no- it’s not my fault if your- they’re distracting me, okay?” Dream defends.

Slowly, the energy lowers again and the call remembers peace as Dream admits defeat.

“I’m not playing against you anymore,” he mumbles through greeted teeth, your hoodie shelters a muffled giggle. “Let’s talk about y/n’s twitter fame instead.”

“Let’s just not-” you mutter, both because seeing Dream lose at something is a miracle that has to be witnessed once and because you’re somewhat reluctant. “Let’s just not talk about that.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea it would draw this much attention to you,” Sap admits.

“Well, you talk about her all the time it was only a matter of time before twitter finds out,” George taunts and you secretly smile, listening to the way your best friend tries to defend himself, mind flooded with the last memories you have of when you were able to see those chuckles for real.

“Yeah, Quackity already told me you guys talk behind my back,” you fakely muse. “That’s totally fine, I don’t wanna know what you guys are talking about at all.” It’s a lie, obviously, the idea creeps upon your mind with assumptions you can’t quite get a grip of nor let go.

“You and Quackity talk?’ Sapnap asks, hint of surprise, and you hum.

“Or rather, he talks to me. He keeps calling-.” Shit. The forsaken word traps itself into your mouth. It’s too silly anyway.

“Come on, just say it,” Dream pushes as if he knew too much, more than you even do, and your cheeks flush mindlessly. You don’t notice.

“Dream, quit it!” You demand.

“Quit what?”

“You talk as if you knew more than anyone did.”

“Maybe I just do,” he coos, so dream-like.

Oblivious or careless, Sapnap asks, “Is Quackity bothering you or something?”

“He-" you begin but stop to look for the right way to put it, "He triggers my flight or fight response.”

"I mean, duh," Sapnap probably rolls his eyes.

"But I like him. He's funny."

After a second of silence, George says, “Well that was unexpected.”

“Not so much, I think we’re both chaotic neutral people.”

“What is that neutral chaotic thing anyway?” Dream is confused.

Roll up your sleeve girl boss because now is your time to shine! You offer your best dream smp alignment chart to the classroom. They're speechless, but they listen carefully.

"Then you're more chaotic good than neutral. You're too sweet anyway," Sap says.

"I'd even say lawful good," George debates.

"That's because you haven't seen Bunny during her crazy cat hour."

"True," you note.

"She'll go absolutely batshit."

“What?" George burst between confusion and surprise. "We've never seen you like that."

"A lady never reveal her secrets," you retort. No one answer.

It leaves a second for your mind to enjoy peace. For your eyes to lay on c!tubbo on lawful good and think true, then on c!dream on chaotic evil and think also very true. You huff and it's like a wave; as sarcasm leaves your breath, an idea comes in.

"Sap, check your DMs," you request.

Surrounded by the evening lull, Sapnap’s laugh pops like soap bubbles, "God, you’re so stupid. Why can't you just marry me?"

“So, is it Sapnap approved?” You chuckle lightly to prevent Sapnap’s morning fresh laugh to fill your chest and leak everywhere.

“Just press ‘send tweet’ please,” he confirms with leftovers of a smile in his voice.

"George, get me out of here. They're doing it again," Dream whines.

"Doing what?" He asks, unbothered.

"Act like they're alone in the convo. Just get a room." And you don't get to stand up for yourself that you and your best friend are actually sent to another room.

"Well this one is chaotic evil confirmed," you mumble as you roll your eyes but the vibes are much peaceful, much more comfortable in here. "So ... hi."

"Hi," he chuckles in return.

Maybe that's for the best; a moment that needs to stay a little timeless, secretive and special. It hasn't happened in so long, you don't even remember the last time it did.

"I'm glad you're here. I miss you, you know?" He says, and it's hard to not feel so bittersweet about it. It's hard when longing involves a craved touch, a real smile and an eye contact. Your shoulder sinks in the chair a little harder.

"I miss you too. I'll be here soon," you promise. And soon couldn't come any sooner.

But the conversation, soft and free, will wash up any worries, as always, and you'll end up talking about everything and nothing, about streams and planned videos and college and god knows what. As long as it makes the two of you happy and smiling. Just like the old days, you'll both think and it's fair to say until the evening turns into night and night turns into fatigue.

"Are you sure you're okay about that clout?" He asks once again. "I know you don't like being exposed like that."

"Yeah, yeah don't worry too much about it. I'll try to make good use of it."

"I'm sure you will," he murmurs, but oh boy did he not know what was about to come until you two meet.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

Taglist : @open-minded-chip-101 ; @itsoakaa ; @gaysludge

A/N : so first of all it has come to my attention that 129 days from now on is actually my birthday so that's a weird coincidence lol. Hi how are you guys?? welcome to the first part I hope you liked it. I'm fairly new to the mcyt community and that's the first time I write for them, so bear with me. Feedbacks are always appreciated. Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

[simonalkenmayeris-still-dead]

wtf dude?

I already said, Simon, that I figured out you'd probably be on my twitter after I mentioned your full name. D'you think I don't know how technology works? Do you think I didn't figure you probably have a pinger when your name gets tweeted out?

The reason I replied to that tweet is because it was retweeted by a rabbi, and I wanted to make sure she knew about the content. That's it. If her DMs had been open, I'd have done it that way. But I'm not intimidated by you.

What, exactly, am I supposed to be afraid of? Will your friends send me bees again? Scary. I mean I am allergic so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe it is.

Amazingly, I don't have a problem with you hurting me. In fact, I don't really consider that you have. Like most people, I think you're an entertainment. When you attack me, and make up stories about what I'm doing (going to do) or why I'm doing it, that's funny to me.

The part I object to is what you do to other people. The way you act on a larger scale. You want to claim you're a cryptid and that every humanoid legend in the world is based on you - to the point of cultural appropriation. Dude, that's racist. Tone it down. Put up a disclaimer. Apologise.

We explained how your characterisation comes across and you used the lizard people myth "as bait". I could have afforded you the benefit of the doubt before that, but doubling down like that makes you antisemitic.

And today you decided I can't have indigenous heritage because you saw a pic of me on my twitter. MY DUDE. You accuse me of stalking but why the fuck were you trawling through my twitter account? That's literally the only image of me on the internet, btw, but that's beside the point. You have no fucking clue what it means to be indigenous in Australia, or in any other country, I presume, since you appear to have taken one look and decided I don't count. YEAH THAT'S RACIST.

But you know what? I'm not the victim. Let me be clear, I have white privilege. I have indigenous heritage, but I don't have culture. The actual victims here are the people who did grow up with culture and who Kristina would shit on because their skin isn't dark enough for her liking.

[mariaiscrafting]

idk how to tell you that now of all times, especially when a legitimate s/a victims assault and domestic abuse survivor has had her information leaked online for thousands to view and talk about without her consent regardless if the accused are guilty or not, is not the time to be cracking the "dreamblr is a dumpster fire lmao and this is amusing to me" agenda. There are better ways to critique the reaction that aren't entirely insensitive to the situation and victim.

hmmmm 🤔

this is a legit point, so I'm gonna answer it as genuinely as possible and take the criticism to heart.

ever since certain people decided to give me piles of shit for legitimately getting angry and arguing over the dream reddit thing, I don't know if yall have noticed, but I've largely shifted the way I treat discourse. generally, I treat it all with humor, even if deep down I'm simply uncomfortable or genuinely angry, I think basically to protect myself. like I'd "laugh" and talk about "eating popcorn" during the andi thing because getting legit angry at people hurt too much. so instead, I'd just push that down and pretend I was laughing at the absurdity of the fans in the situation, because that was so much easier to deal with.

all that to say, yeah, I reacted to this manatreed shit, the very little that I knew about it, laughing because it seems kinda absurd and also to protect myself. the entire situation is straight outta my worst dystopian nightmare for internet drama, and it just generally seems insane to me how people are treating this shit, I can't even explain it or go into it all..so instead of getting angry or expressing all my disbelief, I was like, how can I twist this to be wildly entertaining? how can I glean some entertainment out of this insanity? ah yes, by focusing on how ridiculous dream stans are, including rn. and they are being so ridiculous, for so so many reasons, right? the way they actually started to disown dream when the allegations were first thought to be true, when hes done so much worse shit and also all he did was supposedly tangentially know someone who allegedly committed sa; the way they all fucking wanted to believe this rando's receipts when it was popular, and then the second the tweets saying "stop believing this rando what's wrong with you guys" got like 12k likes, they fucking turned tail and started moralizing at everyone else; the way the exact same people who are like "I feel so bad for this sa victim, stop spreading doxxing info, etc" will retweet and make those threads nitpicking every single aspect of their lives; the very fact that they are nitpicking this victim's life just for the stupidly selfish sake of making themselves feel better by absolving their fave new cc of blame so they can still stan this guy they think is hot and mysterious without the uncomfy knowledge that he might be a predator (as if that's the part that fucking matters in all of this); the fact that you all got so utterly butthurt over dream calling yall gullible, to the point that people were replying w doxxed info on his priv twt, because yall cant stand to be even slightly criticized by your uwu perfect minecraft boy and need to be coddled and babied by him at all fucking times; the extreme and hilarious contrast between the shitstorm transpiring rn and the posts not two days ago trying to look into why the dt were befriending this rando, faceless cc, like yall were on fucking csi or some shit, as if the dt arent just a bunch of trolls who like messing w you idiots bc it's funny to them.

all of this is ridiculous in the way that its painful and unbelievable and horrible and apalling. but I like to turn my incredulity into something I can laugh about instead, because I'm so done with getting angry and sad and frustrated with you idiots. Like, am I fucking angry that people are basically taking this sa victim's dirty laundry and airing it out for the sake of the next cycle of their cc drama wheel? fucking yeah. but I'm not gonna go onto tumblr and start moralizing it bc it's out of my control anyways, what the fuck am I gonna do, make a smiletwt account and start telling people off until one of my virtue signaling rants gets enough likes to be noticed? what a miserable endeavor that would be, christ 🙄 no, dreamblr is within my reach and also blowing up my dash rn, so yeah, yall are what I set my sights on.

[electricprincess96]

only on tumblr and twitter will you see people being racist towards another minority for the sake of being progressive lol

It's funny if this person (or people but I'm more inclined to think same person, multiple accounts) took a stroll over to my twitter which admittedly I have never and will never link to my tumblr because they are just separate places and I prefer they don't mix, they'd see I'm a lot more UK focused over there, and more focused on football. Whys that important because the football team I support recently had one of its players called "a fucking monk*y" by an opposition player while playing against Sla*ia Pra*ue (I'm trying very hard to not have any of their fans see this because um.... well you'll see as I explain more) during a UEFA Europa League Game. The team then came out and called my teams player a liar and preceeded to make up allegations that he was actually the one who assaulted their player. Now there's video of the guy walking up, saying something to my teams player and then 3 other players around them react to what he said, so clearly something was said and it wasn't just something innocent or otherwise harmless but they continue to deny it, their fans have sent other players from my club racist comments on social media including calling them the N Word and Monkey and Banana Emojis and made a Banner calling my teams player the N word. As well as basically harassing any of our fans or fans of other British Clubs who have attempted to speak out about this. Thus far UEFA, the European Footballs Governing Body has not made a statement (this all happened last Thursday Night).

So my twitter has primarily been calling for better treatment for blacks especially in Europe, with a focus on Black Athletes in Europe and stricter punishments for people and clubs who partake or encourage racist behaviour (such as how this players club instead of even saying they'll investigate, went straight to victim blaming even though other people on the park heard him say it).

So that person does not know me, they can not make a snap judgement about someone and the more they go around like that the more they look like the racist (cause minorities can be racist, not just towards other minorities but in this case it is towards another minority). Just cause I don't talk about it here doesn't mean I don't talk about it period. The only reason the Asian Hate Crime thing even got brought up on this Tumblr was cause people were saying not supporting the CCP was anti Asian and I knew that was fucking dumb and I've talked about the dangers of the CCP on here before so it was an appropriate place to talk about it (also required more characters than a Tweet allows).

But yeah the whole thing seems like borderline Trolly so I can't even tell if it's real or not. Like unironically calling someone a Karen in March 2021 sets off some red flags to me not gonna lie.