#but also i am a complainer and i always Need to complain about criticism of my faves

[leojurand]

i see people on booktwt praising the radiant emperor duology very often and every time, instead of remembering that i actually had fun reading those books, i think about how flawed they are, and i wish i could understand the endless praise they get. but i sadly do not.

and then i remembered a tweet by shelley parker-chan about dunnett and her novels that actually explains, in a way, why their writing doesn't work for me. the tweet was a reply to someone and it was:

but Dunnett in general never feeds me the (emotional) food and I get frustrated. like bitch these power plays are so good but why don’t you make it JUICY. don’t make me have to use my imagination

it's actually very funny how this explains exactly the problems i have with their duology. clearly, dunnett is a big fan of subtlety. also very clear, SPC is not, and doesn't utilize it much (at all) in their novels.

and the complete lack of subtlety is something that really bothered me in the radiant emperor duology. that, hand in hand with the endless repetition, makes sure you don't have to use your imagination when it comes to the characters. ever. you will be told how they feel about each other and about what's happening and about what they've done and will do. constantly

but that, for me at least, doesn't make you connect with those characters more, and it doesn't make them more complex (in fact, sometimes they feel like two emotions in a trenchcoat lol). of course too little emotional food can leave you hungry, but too much can cause indigestion

the thing is, i don't need dunnett to tell me that, for example, nicholas was battling with the pain of gelis's betrayal and the profound grief of the loss of his closest friend post-SoG. i know he's dealing with those feelings, i'm seeing it, because he fucked off to be a menace in scotland and he's wearing all black and he's kidnapping people to torment them for a while (lol). and that's so much more interesting than writing paragraph after paragraph of his emotional breakdown. because, yes, i can use my imagination. i like doing that!

would the lymond chronicles be better if we got descriptions of how lymond is drowning in pain and self-hatred during basically every chapter in RC or CM? it's obvious that that's what's happening to him. i think it would actually make the books and the character worse, because doing that doesn't fit who lymond is, just like it wouldn't fit nicholas.

the constant repetition of how zhu, ouyang, and baoxiang feel are not "juicy" to me. they're fine characters and i like them. i would even say they're pretty interesting! but you could pretty much define each of them with a couple of words and you would get like. 90% of who they are. no subtlety. no imagination.

you can't define lymond with two or three or ten words. same with nicholas. even dunnett's characters who seem more simple and straightforward, like richard or julius, are more complex than that

another thing is that focusing so much on the emotional journey of the characters means that other parts of the book are completely neglected. the radiant emperor duology is a low fantasy historical fiction. but the historical part of it is given almost no attention at all. if i pick a histfic book, i want to feel immersed in the time period it's portraying. that didn't happen at all while reading these two books. you may like dunnett's minute historical details more or less (hell, i'm a huge fan and even i want to skip most of the historical mumbo jumbo in some of her novels (the ringed castle)), but goddamn she makes you feel immersed in the 15th and 16th centuries

anyway, the conclusion here is that SPC doesn't love dunnett's style, and i don't love their style. i will probably still read their following books when they get published, but i really, really hope they learn just one thing: sometimes (most of the time) books that are subtle, are better

[zenruu]

A Needlessly Thorough Analysis of What Hardening Actually Means for Alistair

You can also read this analysis in a Google Doc if you find that format more palatable: here.

(I do recommend desktop for the comfiest viewing in either case, but both should be serviceable.)

Disclaimer: If critical discussion of a character’s feelings, motivations, and reactions to certain in-game choices could be personally upsetting to you, maybe don’t read this. None of this analysis is me judging you/your choices as a player, I am simply looking through the lens of Alistair’s characterization and the in-universe consequences of choices. Of course this analysis will be colored by my own bias, it’s inevitable. I can’t realistically include every potentially relevant line of dialogue, but I’m always happy to discuss if you think there’s something crucial I left out.

Hardened Alistair is often described as learning to stand up for himself and becoming more assertive, but why? Is it an accurate assessment? Even Alistair himself reacts to the hardening dialogue by saying he’s going to start thinking for himself and looking out for himself more, so surely it’s true… right?

To the contrary, I would actually argue that hardened Alistair tends to put others before himself more than unhardened Alistair. Let’s start by looking at how he becomes hardened.

The Hardening Process

After meeting Goldanna, Alistair is understandably devastated to find that the family he’s been dreaming of his whole life is not what he had hoped. He’s just been yelled at and turned away by the sister he’s never met, the only family he’s ever had a chance of knowing. He’s lost his hope at finding that sense of connection and belonging he’s always been looking for.

If the Warden wants to harden Alistair, they need to tell him, “Everyone is out for themselves. You should learn that.”

The message being sent is basically: suck it up, move on, grow up. This is the way the world is. Stop being so idealistic.

The message Alistair seems to receive, however, is a bit more complicated. In the follow-up conversation after meeting Goldanna, Alistair tells you that his takeaway from the hardening dialogue was that he needs to look out for himself more. This is, obviously, perfectly in line with the common belief that hardened Alistair is more assertive and more willing to stand up for himself.

But is that the reality that we see reflected in hardened Alistair’s choices?

Pre-hardening, Alistair tells you many times that he feels like no one cares what he wants; he believes it’s unfair and openly complains about it. Hardened Alistair, however, knows that no one cares what he wants and he accepts that as the way things are and must be. Unhardened Alistair will freely say he doesn’t want to be king and fights against it until he can fight it no more, while hardened Alistair will accept it, even going as far as to say he wants it.

Why would he change so suddenly from saying it’s his worst nightmare to saying he wants it? Does he mean it fully? Is this truly him seeking to fulfill his own wants and meet his own needs?

What actually changes if he’s hardened?

he is seemingly less reluctant about becoming king

if romanced, he will agree to a threesome with Isabela

he will agree to make you his mistress if you push the topic

if not married to Anora and chosen to fight Loghain, he will execute Loghain and take the throne

if not chosen to fight Loghain, he will insist on being made king

if married to Anora, he will become king instead of being exiled if Loghain is spared (Alistair will still leave your party, however)

he will approve of executing Jowan in Redcliffe

With the idea of “hardened Alistair putting his own wants/needs first” in mind let’s break them down one by one:

Note: some lines of dialogue have flags for “hardened”/“changed”, alternatively referred to as Alistair’s motivation being changed from “good to glory” or “Alistair 2”. These all refer to the hardening mechanic. The screenshots do have text that’s a bit small, because I wanted to be sure that I included the flags that show when lines are exclusive to hardened Alistair.

Less reluctance about becoming king

All along he’s said he doesn’t want it. You could potentially make a case that he didn’t truly feel that way and was only saying it because he’s insecure (which he is), but I don’t find this to be a terribly compelling argument. 

This is hardened Alistair’s response to being told he would be a good king after he’s decided to sacrifice himself. There are several lines like this that I feel contradict the theory that unhardened Alistair only says he doesn’t want to be king because he’s insecure in his abilities. It’s not that his insecurities are not a factor, it’s that hardening him doesn’t get rid of those things, meaning that this factor alone would not change his attitude about accepting potential kingship. In fact, he still believes that realistically Anora is better suited.

I’d argue that someone who has consistently said one thing without fail and is now only changing the tune after basically being told to shut up and grow up may not be expressing their truest desires. He is going along with what Eamon is telling him, with what the Warden is telling him, with what he’s told is his duty and responsibility. For the greater good, not for himself.

And you might be saying that can’t be true, hardened Alistair says he wants to be king!

Personally, I’d argue that Alistair saying he wants to be king is much the same as your average person saying they want a job. Do most people want to go to work every day? No, not really, but you have to because it’s just what you need to do. So when asked, you’d say you want a job. Of course you would, because you have to have one. But removed from that necessity, would you still say the same? Likely not. I believe the same holds true for Alistair. If he wasn’t being told at every turn that him being king is what must be done, he wouldn’t feel a need to bow to that.

Hardened Alistair confidently wanting to be king is often accepted as plain fact, when it’s really not so cut and dry. We can dig into some of his dialogue and really look at his feelings on the matter.

Hardened Alistair is saying he wants to be king. Even he’s surprised by it. But what is the context of this line? He’s about to sacrifice himself. He believes that his sacrifice–not living to rule–is the single best thing he can do as king.

But is it pure happiness and willingness, or is it a man simply trying to make the best of a situation he’s locked into? I vote for the latter.

I often see the argument that having a Warden queen would make him happier with the idea of being king, but by all evidence it really doesn’t seem to be the case. Here is his response to the Warden confirming that she does want to be queen. Alistair still doesn’t like the idea of ruling. This isn’t a line exclusive to hardened Alistair, he will always have this line available.

“I wouldn’t be in this position if it weren’t for you” … “you owe me” … Even hardened, Alistair seems to see being king as something negative being thrust upon him. A punishment, perhaps? What would his response be to being told that being king is not a punishment?

On the surface, he agrees, but take a look at that VO comment for his actual feelings on it. He does consider it a punishment. This is indeed a line for hardened Alistair, as it occurs during the mistress conversation, which is a hardened Alistair exclusive.

Even if hardened, Alistair would prefer to stay a Warden if he can.

And if you don’t make hardened Alistair king? He’s grateful. Happy. Happier.

Agreeing to a threesome

Unhardened or hardened, he will push back when you suggest this. However, only hardened Alistair will relent and agree to it. Unhardened Alistair will simply refuse. Which one sounds more like someone standing up for his own wants?

This is the path the conversation goes if Alistair is hardened. His initial refusal and discomfort with the situation remains, but if you tell him to go along, he will.

He is, regardless, clearly not as comfortable with the situation as one should be. It certainly isn’t the kind of enthusiastic consent one would look for when asking someone to engage in a particular sex act. But he had fun, so it’s okay, right?

Well… did he have fun? Isabela jokes about borrowing him in the future and it seems quite clear that he isn’t interested in a repeat occurrence. Not only is he not interested, he’s awkward, uncomfortable. “Oh, but he makes a joke about wet frocks right after this!” He does. But it’s Alistair. He’s constantly making jokes to mask his discomfort.

Agreeing to making the Warden his mistress

Again, he will push back on this at first, only relenting if he’s hardened and you push the issue. If unhardened, he’ll stand by his original statement that he feels it would be wrong. Is he just saying he believes it’s wrong, or is that what he truly believes? Based on what we know of Alistair, I’d say it’s far more likely that he truly does find the idea of making the Warden his mistress to be disrespectful both to the Warden and to his wife, and that he is somewhat disregarding his own beliefs on that to bend to the Warden’s insistence that he take a mistress.

Whether he’s marrying Anora or not, his views on the matter are the same. He intends to be loyal to whoever he marries, and he knows he cannot do so if he continues the relationship with the Warden.

It’s clear that he finds the entire idea distasteful.

Much like the threesome, you do have to press him to get him to agree. He’s quite set in his beliefs on the matter, but he will acquiesce if the Warden pushes it.

Insisting on becoming king in the context of dealing with Loghain

These are the choices where I’d say there is potentially a case to be made that Alistair is making the decision he wants to make. However, I wouldn’t say that the decision being made is that he wants to be king. I would argue that becoming king is simply a means to an end to give him the power to get revenge in the way he wants.

In the first potential scenario here, Alistair will insist on being made king if he is not chosen to fight Loghain. Why? He wants Loghain dead, and he isn’t being given the choice to make that happen. He wants the power to make that choice, all else be damned.

Here you can see that hardened Alistair insists on taking the throne while making it abundantly clear that the reason for doing so is to take care of Loghain in the manner he wants.

Unhardened Alistair does the same. Why? Because the motivation remains the same whether he’s hardened or not. Unhardened Alistair simply hasn’t become so resigned as to pretend he’s any less displeased with it than he is.

In the second potential scenario, Alistair is chosen to fight Loghain and kills him. He finally achieves the goal he’s been working towards all along: getting his revenge on Loghain. He’s running on that high when Eamon immediately suggests he take the throne, he says yes, he’ll do it. There’s not really anything to break down dialogue-wise in this scenario, as his acceptance of the throne is the exact same dialogue as it would be in any other case. He simply says he accepts when it’s proposed.

Is it what he truly wants? Maybe. You could make a case for it. However, I interpret it more as running on that adrenaline high, feeling powerful and not fully thinking it over in the moment.

Accepting being king & marrying Anora if Loghain is spared

Alistair has been tunnel visioned on getting his revenge on Loghain the entire time, and this is the only circumstance in which sparing Loghain will not result in Alistair leaving and becoming a drunk. He both accepts marrying Anora (which he isn’t happy about) and sparing Loghain (which is very counter to his wishes).

He doesn’t like Anora and doesn’t want to marry her, but he does anyway. Hardened Alistair knows that marrying Anora is politically advantageous and prioritizes that over his personal desire to enact his vengeance, though he makes it clear to the Warden that his personal feelings on the matter have absolutely not changed.

Hardened Alistair goes along with marrying Anora after Loghain is spared and leaves the party, unhappy with the Warden’s choice to spare Loghain. If this line alone didn’t make his displeasure clear enough, there’s also this one:

He refers to the Warden’s actions as a betrayal. He’s obviously not happy.

Unhardened Alistair, however, stands his ground and refuses.

Approving of executing Jowan

Another case of a changed tune to go along with what the Warden is doing. Unhardened Alistair actively disapproves of the Warden executing Jowan. We could assume that hardened Alistair is just more pragmatic, or perhaps simply more willing to accept it when the Warden tells him this is what must be done.

There is no Alistair specific dialogue to look at here, just the approval points, so it’s really just a matter of looking at what we know of him and the situation. I would say in general Alistair values life and values mercy. Are there exceptions? Yes. Loghain, for example, whose crimes Alistair has judged worthy of death. Clearly unhardened Alistair does not feel that way about Jowan. Hardened Alistair though? He approves of his execution, but is it because he personally thinks it’s best or is it because he accepts the Warden’s judgment?

I would argue that it’s the latter primarily because it’s completely in line with everything else we’ve seen from hardened Alistair. There really are just no solid cases of hardened Alistair asserting his own will when compared to unhardened Alistair, so I don’t see this case as being any different.

In Review

In each case of behaviors changed by hardening Alistair, we see him putting his own wants and needs on the backburner in favor of an externally imposed sense of duty or to bend to another’s will because he accepts that his personal feelings are irrelevant. I’d go as far as to say that hardening is really a misnomer, because what we’re really looking at would be better called resignation.

I actually didn’t include every single line I found of hardened Alistair expressing the sentiments I’ve laid out in this analysis because I didn’t want it to be too long, but there is more in the game. Now I will get into less concrete analysis and a bit more of an explanation of my own personal opinions on hardening.

Aside from looking at what hardening actually means for Alistair, we can also question its necessity. Do you need to do it if you want to do certain things in Origins (threesome, mistress ending, etc.)? Yes. But I often see people argue that hardening Alistair is necessary for him to grow or mature as a person, and I completely disagree.

My personal opinion is that hardening Alistair is neither necessary nor kind.

In terms of helping Alistair to grow as a person, I maintain that Alistair will become more naturally “hardened”, or more accurately, he will mature on his own if you give him the chance to do so. Why do I say so? Look at Alistair in Inquisition. That is not the same idealistic young man we see in Origins, and this remains true regardless of hardening status. Whether it’s Warden Alistair or King Alistair, he’s clearly grown and changed.

Sure, you can mod the game to make the hardening dialogue more palatable, but that’s an entirely different discussion. As is, you’re required to essentially kick him when he’s down, and I simply do not find it to be necessary for his own personal development.

If it’s not already completely obvious by me doing all of this in the first place, I really, really love Alistair. Of course I’m quite settled and happy as an unhardened Warden Alistair truther, but I’m always happy to discuss and debate. I’m very interested in any thoughts you might have, whether you agree with my assessment or not (as long as you’re nice).

Thank you for reading my (almost sickeningly thorough) little analysis if you made it this far!

As a treat (or unhardened Warden Ali propaganda depending on your perspective), here's my Warden, miss Neria Surana with her very happy unhardened Warden husband:

[rebeccathenaturalist]

ETA: I wrote up a guide on clues that a foraging book was written by AI here!

[Original Tweet source here.]

[RANT AHEAD]

Okay, yeah. This is a very, very, very bad idea. I understand that there is a certain flavor of techbro who has ABSOLUTELY zero problem with this because "AI is the future, bro", and we're supposed to be reading their articles on how to use AI for side hustles and all that.

I get that ID apps have played into people's tendency to want quick and easy answers to everything (I'm not totally opposed to apps, but please read about how an app does not a Master Naturalist make.) But nature identification is serious stuff, ESPECIALLY when you are trying to identify whether something is safe to eat, handle, etc. You have to be absolutely, completely, 100000% sure of your ID, and then you ALSO have to absolutely verify that it is safely handled and consumed by humans.

As a foraging instructor, I cannot emphasize this enough. My classes, which are intended for a general audience, are very heavy on identification skills for this very reason. I have had (a small subsection of) students complain that I wasn't just spending 2-3 hours listing off bunches of edible plants and fungi, and honestly? They can complain all they want. I am doing MY due diligence to make very sure that the people who take my classes are prepared to go out and start identifying species and then figure out their edibility or lack thereof.

Because it isn't enough to be able to say "Oh, that's a dandelion, and I think this might be an oyster mushroom." It's also not enough to say "Well, such-and-such app says this is Queen Anne's lace and not poison hemlock." You HAVE to have incredibly keen observational skills. You HAVE to be patient enough to take thorough observations and run them through multiple forms of verification (field guides, websites, apps, other foragers/naturalists) to make sure you have a rock-solid identification. And then you ALSO have to be willing to read through multiple sources (NOT just Wikipedia) to determine whether that species is safely consumed by humans, and if so if it needs to be prepared in a particular way or if there are inedible/toxic parts that need to be removed.

AND--this phenomenon of AI-generated crapola emphasizes the fact that in addition to all of the above, you HAVE to have critical thinking skills when it comes to assessing your sources. Just because something is printed on a page doesn't mean it's true. You need to look at the quality of the information being presented. You need to look at the author's sources. You need to compare what this person is saying to other books and resources out there, and make sure there's a consensus.

You also need to look at the author themselves and make absolutely sure they are a real person. Find their website. Find their bio. Find their social media. Find any other manners in which they interact with the world, ESPECIALLY outside of the internet. Contact them. Ask questions. Don't be a jerk about it, because we're just people, but do at least make sure that a book you're interested in buying is by a real person. I guarantee you those of us who are serious about teaching this stuff and who are internet-savvy are going to make it very easy to find who we are (within reason), what we're doing, and why.

Because the OP in that Tweet is absolutely right--people are going to get seriously ill or dead if they try using AI-generated field guides. We have such a wealth of information, both on paper/pixels and in the brains of active, experienced foragers, that we can easily learn from the mistakes of people in the past who got poisoned, and avoid their fate. But it does mean that you MUST have the will and ability to be impeccably thorough in your research--and when in doubt, throw it out.

My inbox is always open. I'm easier caught via email than here, but I will answer. You can always ask me stuff about foraging, about nature identification, etc. And if there's a foraging instructor/author/etc. with a website, chances are they're also going to be more than willing to answer questions. I am happy to direct you to online groups on Facebook and elsewhere where you have a whole slew of people to compare notes with. I want people's foraging to be SAFE and FUN. And AI-generated books aren't the way to make that happen.

[22ayla21]

Since you already have you mind set on the family men (I am not eyeing phainon) what if their children got hurt? (Like not a normal kids fight, like an actual spar)

Injury

The reaction of the Amphoreus men to their children being injured during sparring.

Unlike his wife, who might immediately rush to the children with anxiety, Mydei first assesses the situation. How serious is the injury? Can they get up on their own? Should they call a doctor? If these are ordinary bruises and contusions, he will just chuckle, but if something more serious, his gaze instantly becomes heavy.

On the outside, he remains collected and unperturbed, but inside, anxiety is burning. Especially if the children do not immediately respond or look too pale. He quickly checks their condition, examines the wounds and only then allows himself to relax (if there is nothing critical).

Mydei will not coddle, but he will not leave them without support. He will sternly say that sparring is not only about strength, but also about the ability to avoid unnecessary injuries. He can lightly nudge his son in the shoulder: "Be more careful next time," and say something like "A good fight, but the technique needs to be improved."

If a child can't stand up or has a broken bone, their calm will turn to icy fury. Especially if the injury could have been prevented. The doctor will arrive before anyone can realize what happened. And if someone was to blame for the injury (even the child himself, due to arrogance), he will draw conclusions.

If the children do not complain and endure pain, he is proud inside. Even if on the outside he chuckles: “You are definitely my child.” However, he will make it clear that he respects their strength, but reminds them that wounds need to be treated, not ignored.

Once they are well, he can arrange for them to spar with himself, to show them how to avoid such mistakes. But perhaps he will add something that he will not say out loud - give in a little, allowing them to feel their strength.

Later, when no one is looking, he can discreetly adjust the blanket on their sleeping body or leave something useful next to them - bruise ointment or hot tea. And if his wife notices, he will grumpily say: “It doesn’t mean anything.”

On the outside, he remains collected and cool, but on the inside, he is worried and irritated – not at the children, but at the situation itself. He instantly assesses the extent of the injury and decides how to proceed.

He will bandage the wound himself, treat it, and if the case is serious, he will immediately take his daughter to the doctors. Despite his strict approach, there is always care in his actions.

After he makes sure that everything is okay with his daughters, he will point out their mistakes without unnecessary emotion. He will not grumble or pity them, but will clearly explain what exactly they did wrong so that it does not happen again. He may darken a little and say something like: “Fighting is not fun. A mistake can cost more than just a wound.” His words are harsh, but there is no malice in them – only a desire for them to understand the cost of their actions.

He does not stop believing in them. He will remind them that mistakes are part of learning, but if they want to inherit his fighting style, they must learn to respect their weapons and their bodies. Despite the seriousness of the situation, deep down he is proud that his daughters are trying, following in his footsteps, and developing their skills. He will not say it out loud, but perhaps later he will pat them on the back or briefly say, “Next time, don’t make that mistake.”

After the incident, he will monitor their training more closely, perhaps even change the approach to minimize the risk of injury, but he will not forbid them from continuing training. He will not let the incident break their confidence, but perhaps suggest new training methods to avoid similar situations in the future. After all, mistakes are not a reason to give up, but an opportunity to become stronger.

Despite his confidence in the strength and resilience of his children, Phainon never lost his head in such situations. When one of his sons was injured, his face instantly became serious, and he rushed to him without hesitation. Phainon's gaze became intense, and his actions were quick and precise, checking his son's condition. First, he always paid attention to safety and the rapid elimination of possible damage.

His children knew that he could be strict and demanding, but in such moments Phainon tried to hide his anxiety. He did not want to show his sons that their injury could frighten him. He spoke confidently, in a calm voice, even if inside he was filled with anxiety: "Are you okay? Do not worry, we will solve everything soon."

Phainon never left his children without proper care. If the injury was serious, he did not hesitate to send one of the servants or assistants for medical help. He stayed with his son, keeping him calm and promising that everything would be fine. Even if it was a minor injury, he did not allow his son to relax, monitoring his condition.

After the injury was treated, Phaenon never lowered his children to the point of making them think of themselves as weak or helpless. Instead, he tried to teach them resilience, as well as the importance of being careful and careful. If the son was at fault for getting injured due to hasty or thoughtless actions, he would explain how to avoid such mistakes in the future, but without irritation or anger.

At the same time, despite his stern appearance, he was incredibly proud of how his sons handled difficulties. When his son recovered, he often showed his pride through quiet words of encouragement, such as: "You did well, son. You are strong."

[kentoxo]

friction | reader (f) x crush!nanami pt. 3

pairing: reader (f) x crush!nanami

synopsis: [AU] you have always had a crush on nanami. since the day you were hired as his personal assistant, you've been right at his side combating numbers and making money within the finance department for the company you two worked for. but, things take a turn when nanami catches wind of your feelings, and rejects you. little did he know the weight of his mistake.

warnings: angst, heartbreak, sexual tension, jealousy (future smut)

a/n: another part out! it's a tad bit lengthy, so sorry about that! i also wanna apologize about how crazy the taglist looks (im so sorry). it wasnt letting me tag yall so i just spaced it out to make sure yall get alerted. if anyone has advise on how to fix that, pls let me know

all parts: pt.1, pt.2,

December | Tokyo, Japan | 4:45 A.M

It was finally Thursday, and you were spending your early morning tangoing with your vacuum. 

Despite doing a deep clean yesterday after work, your paranoia was over the roof. Nanami’s visit consumed you like a parasite, with nothing relieving your nerves. Even the sun could not bear witness to your franticness as you long turned on all the lights and began your cleaning venture. You didn’t want to risk Nanami calling you a slob if he saw even one wrapper on the floor. Nanami was quite the meticulous man after all, his eyes containing radars for this kind of stuff. 

As you began to dust your already dusted coffee table, you quickly grabbed your phone and dialed Haibara’s number. After a few rings, you hear a click and  groaning sound. “Nnnmmm… who?” He barely whispers. 

“Yu, get up!” You hiss. Haibara and you have long established your friendship, backing up your ability to drop honorifics. “I need your help, and now.” 

“Y/N?” He groans out. You hear some shuffling before a long period of silence. You continue to clean while Haibara tries waking up again. “It’s not even 6… why?” Though his voice was deep and hoarse from exhaustion, he sounded nothing less than a child complaining about waking up early to go to school. 

You huff, “don’t you remember? I texted you after work that Nanami is coming to my house today– in like an hour!” 

“‘n why does this have to do with me?” His voice sounded scratchy from the speaker of the phone. 

“What should I do? What kind of couches does he like? House smells?” 

“Y/N, it’s too early for this,” Haibara says through a yawn. “You wouldn’t even be able to buy another couch, even if you wanted to. No furniture store is open at this time.” 

You try to continue the conversation, but you were met with snores in response. Hanging up the phone, you let out a sigh. Nanami was coming over for work, not to criticize your home designing choices. You cover your face with your hands, feeling your cheeks tingle from embarrassment. “What am I doing?” You murmur to yourself. There truly was no need to be nervous. This was not a date. 

Even so… 

You spent the rest of your morning prior to your shift making sure you looked nice. You style your hair neatly, drape on a comfortable jumpsuit (despite Nanami’s comforting words in regards to you wearing pajamas during his visit), and begin working on coffee. You had managed to ask Tae (your newly hired corporate barista) for some instruction on how he makes Nanami’s favorite coffee. You certainly questioned the ingredients and methods, but you continued to follow the instructions. As you were pouring skimmed milk into black coffee, a gentle knock was heard at your front door. 

Your heart threatened to escape against your chest. You quickly give yourself a look in your hallway mirror before rushing to the door. Shaky hands sheepishly unlock the door, introducing you to a Nanami you have never seen before. 

Here he was before you, in a trenchcoat, black crewneck and black joggers. His eyes revealed his true exhaustion, with his under eyes slightly darker than usual. His hair was not parted from the side, but rather slicked back and wet as you assumed he showered before arriving at your place. True to the weather, his cheeks and nose were rosy from the cold. You saw him let out a relieving sigh when introduced to the warmth of your home. 

“Goodmorning Y/N,” Nanami hums, his voice hoarse from not being 100% awake. His hands were loaded with his briefcase and a big bag. Judging from the smell, it was the breakfast that Nanami promised he’d buy. 

Your mouth felt dry in awe, “good morning to you as well, Nanami. Let me take your coat for you.” 

“Ah, I’d hate to get your hands cold,” Nanami waives your offer. He puts down his things gently, being mindful of the breakfast. He begins to strip off his coat, and carefully hangs it on the rack by the door. “It’s unforgiving out there.” 

There were snowflakes on his eyelashes, “is it snowing hard out there? I haven’t pulled the curtains yet.” 

Nanami smiles and nods, giving his head a little shake to remove the remaining snow from his head, “I’m glad I didn’t invite you to my house instead. Otherwise, you’d be freezing like me.” 

You burn up, and quickly gesture to the slippers on the floor. “P-please feel free to get comfortable in the living room! I have the heat in there.”

He bows curtly, “thank you for having me.” You watch as the tall man walks towards your living room, taking a seat on the bigger of the two couches. You rush into your room and retrieve two blankets. Joining Nanami in the living room, you offer him your warmest quilt. 

“This’ll keep you warm while you’re here,” you hum. Nanami takes your offer and spreads the blanket over his legs. You see him shiver a bit before getting cozy in the blanket. 

“You’re too kind of a host,” Nanami expresses his gratitude once more. He then eyes around before chuckling, “ah, I left our breakfast and my laptop at the front–” 

“I’ll get it!” You jump at your words, quickly retrieving the items. You pass him his briefcase, and take the breakfast to your kitchen counter. “I wrote my wifi password on the table, please feel free to connect to it. A-and…” 

You walk over to your coffee maker, and lift up the mug of coffee you prepared for him. You carefully hold it with two hands, making a slow walk towards Nanami. He quickly understands, and raises his hands as high and close to yours as possible while remaining seated on the couch. Cold fingertips brush against your knuckles. He holds it delicately, his eyes narrowing down at the froth at the top. “Is this…?” 

“Your favorite coffee,” you say quietly. You look away shyly, hoping he didn’t see your nerves in your face. “I asked our recently hired barista how he usually makes your cup of coffee when I went to offer him the position. And so… yeah.” You shuffle in your place, waiting for Nanami to take a sip. But your nerves get to you first and stab at your calm facade, “andifyoudon’tlikeit,I’llbuyonefromoutside–”

Nanami takes a big swig from the hot brew, his Adams Apple protruding his throat from each gulp. A drip of coffee decorates his bottom lip, threatening to either drop on his pants, or begin its slide down his chin. He puts the mug down on one of the coasters of the coffee table and drags his sleeved wrist against his lips. “Y/N,” he emits slowly. “That was… very delicious.” 

You could melt right then and there. “R-really?” You felt the bubbles in your words. You were practically floating like one! His reassuring smile made your heart skip several beats. “I would never, ever judge you, but I didn’t realize that fig could work with coffee.” 

Nanami smiles warmly, his eyes wistful with nostalgia. He takes out his laptop and turns it on, rubbing the mousepad aimlessly with the tip of his index. “I was addicted to sweets, if that surprises you,” Nanami recounts fondly. “My mom was frustrated, unable to really keep sweets away from me. She was too nice, and would submit whenever I asked for a candy bar at the market.”

You giggle a bit, your hand covering your lips to mask the smile you had. “It’s crazy to think that you, Nanami, would be a sugarhead.” 

Nanami lets out a light chuckle, “surely, I like sweets every now and then. Just… in moderation. My mother was the catalyst for the dent in my sweet tooth. She stopped adding sugar in my tea. Rather, she would add half a fig into my cup, and pour the hot tea over it.” 

From the memory, your body suddenly felt warm and cozy. Imagining the combination of a fresh fig with green tea being poured over it… it was quite soothing. “It sounds like she was a lovely mother,” you hum. Your smile widened when seeing Nanami’s hazel eyes warm from the recollection. “What made you decide to add fig into your coffee instead?” 

Nanami shrugged, “nostalgia, I suppose. It doesn’t offer the coffee much of a sweetener, but you can definitely taste it. I suppose the memory is what makes it sweet.” 

You were floating. Being able to speak to Nanami like this– it felt like everything. You two don’t hang outside of work, besides holiday parties or work trips. Even then, all these activities are imbued with your job. Although Nanami was in your house to work with you, it felt different. The two of you can speak freely without eyes constantly flickering to you. As you were lost in your thoughts, Nanami cleared his throat. 

“Please feel free to clock in and start eating,” Nanami hums. He adjusts the blanket to cover his feet. “Today's work isn’t too crazy, and I’d rather you feel full and awake.” 

You take kindly to his consideration and return to the kitchen. You take a platter plate and begin to unload the bag of breakfast he picked up. You start taking out several breakfast sandwiches, your eyes wide at how many there were in that bag. “Nanami… how many did you get?” You exclaim, holding one sandwich in each hand. He looks over at you and smirks amusingly. 

“I didn’t know what you liked,” Nanami said, his smile still being tickled from your shock. “I just got one of everything.” 

You smile from his smile, and begin to stack the individually stacked sandwiches on the platter. Leaving the one you want on the counter, you bring the sandwiches near him on the coffee table. You look down at his mug, the coffee-soaked half-fig sat in the center of it. “Would you like another cup?” You offer kindly. 

His eyes meet yours, and after a pause, he nods slowly. You grab his mug and go over to the kitchen to prepare another cup. As you did, you decided to make two cups of his favorite coffee. The curiosity picked at you– you wanted to know what Nanami’s favorite coffee tastes like. As you prepared it, Nanami was tapping away at his computer. You tap on your phone to check the time, and realize you need to clock in now. Once you do that, you check your calendar and turn to look at Nanami. 

“You have a meeting in 15 minutes with the head of Sales and Strategy,” you remind him. 

“Thank you, Y/N,” Nanami hums from your couch, “I got so into responding to emails, I definitely would have forgotten. So, thank you again.” 

“Of course!” You chime. With both coffees done, you bring both of the mugs over to the coffee table and quickly go back to fetch your breakfast sandwich. You begin to strip the parchment paper from the sandwich and begin to eat it in the kitchen, with a few crumbs falling on the granite top. You walk over to the smaller sofa and set down your breakfast sandwich. You grab your own laptop from the drawer underneath the coffee table and begin to boot it up. 

You ate while waiting, enjoying the crisp bacon and cheddar cheese in the sandwich. Nanami looks over at you while you quietly dance to yourself. “I assume it’s good?” He begins, a small curve at the end of his lips. Cheeks warm from his words, and you nod while chewing on your bite. He leans over and brings his hand to your face. You froze while you felt his thumb gently rub your chin of all the crumbs you accrued as you ate. “Ah, m’sorry,” Nanami quickly retracts his hand, “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m really sorry if that made you uncomfortable, Y/N.” 

“Ah, it’s okay!” You quickly waive his concerns, “you were just trying to help is all. I appreciate it…” 

Silence ensues between the two of you. But Nanami stopped typing once more to comment on the two mugs. “Did you make yourself a cup of coffee as well? It doesn’t look like what you usually get.” 

You shook your head, “it’s a bit too cold for iced coffee. Plus, I wanted to try your coffee and see what the hype is all about.” 

He smiles sheepishly, “you might not care for it much. It’s a bit too bitter.” 

You shrug, “I’m still curious.” And that same curiosity bit you in the ass. You carefully lift the mug and take a sip, the taste of hot, acrid coffee tormenting your tongue. Quickly placing the mug down, you give Nanami the stink eye. “You… are very brave,” you let out as you take another bite of your sandwich. 

Nanami lets out a genuine laugh, “it isn’t for everyone, truly. But it warms my heart that you were willing to try it.” 

You look over at him, noticing the wistfulness of his eyes. It was worth it, albeit the foul taste. “It tasted much sweeter in my head when you talked about it,” you softly hum. “I’ll… continue to enjoy it vicariously through you.” 

“You’re good with not being mean, Y/N,” Nanami says through another gentle laugh, “I envy that about you a bit.” It was like he was shooting arrows directly at your heart. “A-ah, there’s no need to make everything a bad thing,” you let out nervously. You begin to log into your computer, “just because it’s not for me, doesn’t mean I should make you feel bad.” Nanami agrees with a nod, “you’re absolutely right.” He shifts a bit to get more comfortable in his seat, and looks down to make sure his feet are really covered. When he does, his eyes saunter towards the spare slippers you lent him. “Ah, Y/N, I hope I’m not intruding in you and your partner's space.” 

Where did that come from? “Hm?” You eye him curiously. 

He points down to the slippers, “these slippers are much bigger than your own.” 

“I like to keep a pair for when I have visitors like yourself,” you reason, “but you are absolutely not intruding. I’m… very single.” It felt a bit embarrassing to admit that to your crush, but what can you do? You didn’t want him thinking you were taken when you were readily (hopefully) available for him. 

“I see,” he comments quietly. Keeping his eyes glued to his computer, Nanami continues, “I apologize for even bringing up something sensitive like this.” 

You shake your hand, “it’s completely fine! Honestly, I don’t mind at all.” Fiddling with your thumbs, you look over shyly at your boss, “I’m like an open book so… whatever you are curious about, I don’t mind sharing with you. I trust you… quite a lot, Nanami,” you admit, your face completely hot. 

“And I you, Y/N,” Nanami peels his eyes from his screen to meet your own. “You’ve been nothing but an asset since your transfer, and I couldn’t be more satisfied with your work ethic and capabilities.” 

You look down at your lap, with your hands finding solace on your knees. “Thank you very much,” you reply humbly, “but I wouldn’t be like this if I weren’t under your guidance. I feel like I’ve progressed much faster within the company since becoming your assistant. I don’t say this quite enough, but… I’m very grateful to you, Nanami.” 

“You might sway me with your flattery, Y/N,” Nanami teases, “your words are so soft, it feels like you’re confessing.” 

“A-ah?” You exclaim nervously. You knew he was messing around, but it almost feels like… “d-don’t get the wrong idea! I just respect you a lot, is all… nothing more!” 

Hazel eyes narrow down at your face, and Nanami lets out a sigh of relief. He hovers his hand over his chest, closing his eyes in bliss. “That’s actually quite relieving to hear,” Nanami hums. Relieving? 

“Hm?” You asked, “what do you mean?” What were you missing?

“Ah no,” Nanami begins to smile again, “I had caught wind of a rumor that I was gullible enough to believe a bit. It made it quite nervous, truth be told. But you’ve now confirmed that it was nothing more than a silly rumor.” 

“A rumor?” You felt your body go cold. 

Nanami nods, while replying to emails once again, “I overheard some of our coworkers rumor mongering. Along the lines of you having feelings towards me beyond friendly ones. But I’m glad it turned out to be false.” 

Fingertips felt like ice, and your heart transformed into glass. It shattered moments after Nanami’s words. Everything that you adored about this man was quickly turning ugly. The idealization of your boss was crumbling, with your feelings following suit. This confirmed that your crush wasn’t light– it was deep and sincere. He broke your heart while head on with your adoration. Haibara’s warnings begin to taunt your mind while your sane mind tries to tend to your heart. 

You didn’t even get the chance to confess.

He practically threw away all of your efforts. Every time you would get him coffee so he didn’t have to get it himself. Keeping the staff in check constantly so he needn’t ever worry about the progress of the department. Always organizing all of his meetings and attending to things that were considered miniscule to him. Getting the new barista hired so he could enjoy his beloved coffee within the office. Memorizing all the goods that trigger his childhood sweet tooth. 

Your throat felt tight, with your chest feeling even tighter. Tears were threatening to gloss your eyes, with the power in your hands going weak. Your body was ready to go numb, and you wished nothing more than to ask Nanami to leave your home. But work just started, and you couldn’t just kick him out in the middle of his shift.

Your feelings were hurt, but you couldn’t afford being unprofessional. You nod, “just a silly rumor.” 

You put down the breakfast sandwich, as a wave of nausea quickly entered your system. You grab your mug of coffee and your laptop. Rushing over to the kitchen, you toss out the remainder of the bitter coffee and begin to make your way to your bedroom. Nanami caught light of your stride and looked up at you, eyes asking where you were off to. 

“I have a meeting as well,” you force out, “it’s confidential.” 

“Ah, right,” Nanami accepts. “I understand. Take your time, and good luck.” He looks back at his laptop, not missing a single beat when returning to his emails. 

With that lie, you close the door behind you, run into your closet, and allow your tears to pour out. Drops spill onto your keys, but you didn’t care. Helpless hands wipe away your tears, only to find futility in its efforts. In your silent woe, you let out your own sigh of relief, despite your pain-filled cry. 

You no longer had to torture yourself with the what-if’s. You no longer had to wonder what it would be like to be Nanami’s girlfriend. Your crush was at the end of its road. 

With a struggle (through tearful lenses), you take out your phone, scroll through your messages and tap on Haibara's name.

Taglist:

@blossomedfloweroflove @numblytemporary @everyoneandtheirmothers @animechick555 @inthedarkshadows000

@m-arj-1 @julk4e @hadassery @swoozleee @angxlsatvrn

@v1x3n @s-witch-bitch @furgusonn @watyousayin @thechaoticarchivist

@simp-manhwa @5sos-wdw

[ot3]

have u read the homestuck epilogues? what do u think of them if u have? and do u have thoughts on june egbert

when the epilogues originally dropped, i read candy but i did not go on to read meat because the experience of being a homestuck fan at the release of the epilogues was a pretty miserable and i saw no reason to prolong it.

i did not categorically hate everything the epilogues were attempting to do but i think they are fundamentally and irredeemably flawed for one extremely big reason: you can not release something as the official continuation of a work while also insisting it is not a piece of the canon. it felt like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too in a way that completely undermined the entire work. they released it with faux-ao3 tagging/styling, but weren't brave enough to actually release is on ao3. it had to be elevated Above fanwork, but if you got too upset about it they could always just point out 'well we said it wasn't canon' to deflect legitimate criticism. plain and simple, it all felt like cowardice. release something intentionally designed to provoke and antagonize a dedicated fanbase and then retreat to twitter to complain about how nobody can understand and appreciate REAL, SERIOUS, QUEER ADULT CHARACTER WRITING. but like. real, serious queer adult character writing still needs to be good and I'm not sure the homestuck epilogues Were that. having characters you know to be 100% fictional and are now being written by a brand new set of people pretty much look at the camera and say "if you think my character writing is OOC it's only because you don't respect my interiority as a human being" rang extremely fucking hollow to me.

i think it should be obvious to anyone who has been following me for any amount of time that i don't want or need sanitized and saccharine character writing to be pleased and my issue was not that the epilogues were dark, it was that they felt confused and contrived.

being a homestuck fan took up all of the formative years of my life, without exaggeration. it was the main thing i was into from ages 14-21 and has been incomparably important to me. so it's next to impossible for me to separate my feelings about my epilogues from what it felt like to be a homestuck fan during the absolute clusterfuck of these things dropping, especially since i haven't revisited them since. one event in particular that really soured me was an official homestuck team member who i was decently good friends with asking me to delete tweets i made criticizing some aspects of the epilogues. i found to be an extremely unprofessional to do as someone who is on the payroll of an IP speaking to a fan of that work, regardless of whatever terms we may have been on. additionally, i found the way she + the epilogues writers responded to criticism of the epilogues from the pretty significant demographic of teen fans on twitter to be at best condescending and at worst actively cruel.

it felt like a bunch of people who wrote shock fiction about a beloved cast of characters - something they were fully within their right to do, to be clear - but then could not handle the extremely predictable reception to it. my eventual homestuck reread is penciled in for 2029 and if i can bring myself to [re]read the epilogues at that time, im going to. we will see how my feelings change then

as for june egbert: love her, but this is once again soured by the way post-mspa era homestuck treats the concept of canonicity. john egbert is my number one favorite fictional character of all time. if you tell me "great news, she's a girl now" i am in fact overjoyed by that. i think its something that adds a lot of texture to the character. but i don't like people treating it like it's canon when it just simply isn't. i don't think you get points for portraying a transfem character until you have actually... portrayed a transfem character. i do not keep up with hs2 for reasons that are probably pretty obvious so i'm not sure if anything has changed, but to the best of my knowledge june egbert is not yet canonical there either. it's very frustrating.

but you see what i mean about canonicity: ignore the fact that we haven't discussed june egbert's gender in a single actual piece of fiction. the toblerone says she's real so she is! ignore the fact that the homestuck epilogues are official works that were on the shelves at barnes and fucking noble, they're "beyond canon" because weve put AO3 headers on. it feels like lategame homestuck treats canonicity like a switch it can flip completely independent of the works they are making, in whatever way is convenient for them. if the HS2 team (shoutout to floral, one of the best to ever do it and nobody deserves to be writing homestuck more than them) ever does get around to making june egbert canon, i will be standing by to pop bottles.

[stromblessed]

jayvik shippers need to understand that non-jayvik shippers are annoyed with you not because of not shipping jayvik, but because there is no escaping you.

you clog every tag on every social media platform. want to look at caitvi? jayvik posts tagged as caitvi for some reason. want to look at viktor posts? jayvik. jayce posts? jayvik. want to look at mel posts? jayvik. anyone talking about mel and viktor in the same sentence is obviously secretly talking about jayvik. (and by the way here's why every mel scene is secretly about jayvik and every viktor scene is secretly about how all he thinks about is jayce and why mel is inferior and jayce was a good boy and was right all along). you dominate the discourse and don't give room for criticism of jayce or viktor's writing and don't tolerate other interpretations. every theme in the show was about jayvik all along.

on my main blog, i write fic and make arcane posts - not complaining, staying in my lane, making my own content for me and my friends - and my tags, comments, and replies are full of people talking about jayvik and asking about jayvik when the ship is not tagged or present in my posts or fics, and jayce usually isn't even tagged because i just don't have fun with him as a character right now, and all people want to talk about or comment on is him or jayvik. so here i am, venting on my sideblog

this is a curse i specifically bear and cannot escape because as a fan of the writing of these aforementioned characters SEPARATELY, any and every algorithm is gonna shovel piles of jayvik posts 10 feet deep right up against my front door, and everyone on tumblr is "tagging for visibility" or whatever so there's no escaping it here either. blocking and muting does not help because either jayvik isn't always tagged, or jayvik is tagged at random and i end up hiding swathes of posts i actually do want to see. and there is also the fact that i WOULD be into jayvik because i do think it's fun, i WOULD have more fun discussing jayce specifically as a character who i think is a very fun hot mess, if social media wasn't making me despise both with a burning passion right now, which sucks

the only haven is Ao3 because people are still slightly sane when tagging their fics - at least with the relationship tags. jayvik shippers you do need to stop tagging mel though along with any other character who doesn't affect the plot of your story and i am dead serious

this is a vent post but i am also declaring - the reason why people are frustrated and annoyed at jayvik at large, as a concept, even if you yourself are a chill shipper and you don't see why we all can't just get along, is because the collective has poisoned the well and it's not fun for other people to be in the same space as you right now. there are a lot of you - be glad of that and happy, not every fandom let alone ship gets this large and energetic a following - but don't be surprised that people like me are gonna be mad because. it is irritating. and you're everywhere. and unfortunately there's nothing that any one person can do about it. it is an environmental thing and you just. need to come to terms and be aware, idk

[viperify]

Smutmas 2024 | ᴛᴏᴍ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ x ʀᴏꜱɪᴇʀ ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

I Appreciate You.

Short summary: After some persuasion, Tom joins you for Christmas dinner. Only then he finds out your parents haven’t exactly treated you well and seizes the opportunity to show you what it means to be truly appreciated.

Warnings: nothing, just fluff (for now…)

A/N: I have entered a bad case of writing block halfway through this, so I cut it short. I AM SORRY. I’ll take a day or two off and write a pt 2☹️

wordcount: 1,6k

Tom and you have been friends for a while – or rather study accomplices, as he would call it. Though lately, you have grown closer. Oddly close, at least if you knew Riddle, who wasn’t one to interact with others unless it served a purpose. You have known that from the beginning, so it never really appeared to you why he would be different towards you exactly – but you weren’t going to complain about someone tutoring you after all – someone who was equally as smart as pretty.

“You forgot pearl dust.” he sighs in disappointment, not looking up as he fidgets with his quill. “Tom it’s been two hours, my head is a mess. Let’s take a break?”

His gaze flicks from his quill to your eyes and stares at you briefly before speaking up. “I don’t take breaks. If you want me to keep being generous enough to help you, you do it my way.”

That’s how it goes every single time. You don’t argue against it – you just do what he says. The desperation to become better at Potions is greater than your ego after all and you have also come to notice it is better not to talk back to him. The last time you did, he wouldn’t even speak to you for two weeks after.

Tom clears his throat and you return your focus to the present. “It’s been an unnecessarily long time since you have started staring at me. Focus on your textbook.”

“Right, right! Sorry.” Your cheeks heat up and you repeat the brewing process from the beginning.

After what feels like an eternity, he is satisfied – as much as he could be. Tom obviously is never fully satisfied, always has something to criticize that you didn’t do right, something he says you would need to work on the next time you two meet to study.

There was always going to be a next time.

As you two pack up, you see house elves working on the Christmas decorations just outside the library, putting up a pine tree and some red and golden ornaments. It’s the Thursday before winter break, and you would soon go home to spend the time with your family. They have told you to bring a friend, though all of them have declined so far. You would just go alone. Until – well, you think about Tom.

“Uh, I actually have one more question.” You start, turning to face him. He raises his eyebrows expectantly signalling you to continue. “Soooo, I have been wanting to ask you whether you wanted to join me for Christmas dinner at home. My parents have asked me to bring someone along.”

“We aren’t friends. Besides that, I don’t celebrate Christmas.”

That’s exactly the answer you assumed he’d give, but you weren’t going to give up that easily. Your family has been talking about him often lately, about the Gaunt family, purebloods just like you. All the things they say you don’t understand anyway. It’s been like that since you were born, they always favoured your older brother over you. You have stopped arguing against it.

“Come on, Tom! It’s just a dinner, one evening. I know you don’t usually leave Hogwarts for Christmas break, I just wanted to give you the opportunity to meet my parents. They have been talking about you.”

He contemplates for a moment then. He is aware that his family, at least his mother’s side, has caught people’s attention. Apparently also the Rosiers’. Rosier family, part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. It would only be to his benefit to get to know them personally. And he hated admitting it, but lately - he has found himself strangely intrigued by you. A smart girl, who wouldn’t normally need his tutoring, not if he didn’t tell you to come back every week for another lesson.

“I suppose I will think about it. If I decide for it, I will join you at the train station.”

Your lips curl into a bright smile. “Thank you, Tommy! You are the best.”

He sighs. “How often have I told you to stop calling me that?”

“Sorry, sorry! I am just super excited to introduce you. They have been pestering me with questions about your mother’s family.”

You swear you see a slight spark in his eyes at the mention of his mother, though his usual stern expression returns just a second later. “Have a good evening.” he replies and leaves you behind at the library without saying another word.

-

There has not been a single sign of Tom when you board the train. Secretly you have hoped he would come and join you, though as soon as you leave the station you find yourself at peace with the fact you’d be going home alone for the break. The scenery shifts as you look out of the window, a thick layer of snow covering the otherwise green Scottish Highlands. You see deer scavenging for any grass they can find, scraping at the frozen ground with their hooves, the nearby hares’ white winter fur blending in perfectly with the scenery.

There aren’t too many students in your wagon, meaning you get to have a compartment all for yourself. Just like normally, your eyes grow tired, voices around you turning into a blur, and you fall asleep.

It wasn’t long until someone clearing their throat, taking a seat next to you woke you again. “So, what’s for dinner?” he asks, and you turn to face him.

Your face lights up at the sight of the person in front of you. “Tom! I am so happy you decided to come along!”

“I suppose it’s a welcome opportunity to connect with another renowned family.” he replies, and you nod, though slightly disappointed. “Of course.”

The rest of the journey, both of you don’t speak much. It’s a weird energy between you, something you don’t quite recognize. You are glad – as glad as you could be, knowing your family awaits you just outside – when the train arrives at your station. Both of you get off, and your mother’s and father’s faces light up at the sight of, not you, but Tom. They greet him first, ask him how the journey has been.

It’s only when you arrive at home that they ask you to help prepare dinner while Tom’s being shown around the manor. Even at dinner they won’t let him be and you wonder whether it was a good decision to bring him home with you.

In a moment of silence, your mother first looks at you, then at him. A smile forms on her face, something you only rarely get to see and you wonder what may be behind it.

“We are so glad you have decided to join us. Our daughter really couldn’t have chosen a better boyfriend.”

Oh.

You feel your heart drop in your chest at her words. They must have misunderstood the situation. Your cheeks heat up and you see Tom’s face changing into one of confusion.

Trying to save the evening, you quickly try to explain. “No it’s- we are not-“

“I am pleased to hear I am meeting your expectations.”

Tom’s words cut you off, and for a moment you aren’t sure whether you have heard him correctly. You blink a few times and shoot him a confused look, and he smiles at you.

Smiles.

You nod quickly, lowering your gaze onto the plate in front of you as you feel your cheeks heat up. For the rest of the evening, you don’t say much, even when you all gather around the Christmas tree. They ask questions about your relationship, which only Tom answers. He sits next to you and as the night progresses, his hand wanders up your lower back, snaking around your waist. You visibly shiver at his touch but decide to play along.

As soon as everyone has excused themselves to bed, you move away a little, escaping his grip. “Tom, I am sorry, they must have completely misunderstood.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize.”

“No really I-“

“Sshhh.” he whispers, his face inching closer to yours then, capturing you in a tender kiss. His hand rests on the back of your head, softly pressing you against him. You inhale deeply as you break apart, your eyes trailing up from his lips to his eyes. It’s only the candles on the Christmas tree that shine a dim light on both of your forms, yet you are able to make out the changed look on his face.

“We shouldn’t.” you murmur, shaking your head.

“I see the way you look at me in the library. And you perfectly know why I want to keep meeting you. Yet both of us are too stubborn to admit it.”

Though you hate to admit it, he’s right.

“I just didn’t think you would like someone like me.”

Tom huffs. “You never acknowledge your worth, and I suspect that is what your parents have taught you. They don’t see your potential. They diminish your achievements. Why do you let them?” he asks, and you rest your head on his shoulder.

“I have stopped caring a long while ago. You know how it is.”

Tom doesn’t reply after that, though his hand continues running up and down your back soothingly. You stay like this for a while, until he slowly turns his head, facing you.

“I will show them what it means to appreciate you.”

His voice is low and controlled as his face is a mere inch away from yours, his breath warm on your skin.

“I will show you what it means to be appreciated.”

[athetos]

Some thoughts from severance s2e3, and the season in general:

I 100% assumed the reason the goat people were asking to see their bellies was to see if they had belly buttons. Since the prevailing theory is that the goats are for cloning purposes, i figured they wanted to make sure they weren’t clones (clones not having belly buttons because they weren’t birthed/have need for an umbilical cord). If we take the pouches line at face value, I’d guess that they were told a rumor that MDR had pouches, to sow division and fear between the departments (like the fake uprising told to MDR about O&D, and vice versa).

The Export Floor. The fact that O&D used to deliver things there themselves, but then a courier was used. My theory is that someone saw something there they shouldn’t have. I don’t know how o!Irving knows about it, but I’m not here to discuss that right now. What I want to talk about is the name. The obvious one is exporting goods (or even ideas) to other countries, and this could simply mean it’s where stuff made by O&D gets sent up to the ‘outtie’ world. But there’s another possibility - export as in transferring data to another software/format. I think it’s this meaning that is critical, and has big implications for Gemma/Ms. Casey. They could be transferring the data MDR has refined to her chip, or in some way or another, working on “Cold Harbor.”

I am very firmly in the ‘that’s Helena’ camp now. I don’t think this is in character for Helly, as the extremely awkward conversation in the hall with Mark as well as telling Irving they ‘got him’ sealed it for me. I’m fairly certain that management knows it’s Helena; after all, they don’t activate her chip, although I won’t rule out she paid someone off/threatened them to do it. That said, I like to believe she compromised with the board to go down as herself, instead of as Helly. This would also mean that she can encourage Mark to go places that Lumon specifically wants him to see, instead of ones that are much more confidential. However, I think she’ll end up siding with the innies by the end, simply because the connections she will forge with them will be the only genuine and loving relationships in her life.

I didn’t mention this before, but i’m pretty sure Irving knows that Helena/Helly is lying, because he was the only innie who spent enough time outside to know that it was winter and she couldn’t have been gardening. He distrusts her, that’s why he only told Dylan about Burt.

Upon immediately seeing Dylan’s wife I assumed she was a hired actress. However it genuinely appears to be her (granted, I’m faceblind, but the voice sounded the same when she was with his outtie later in the episode). Lumon clearly thinks that this perk will keep i!Dylan in line, but I think it might backfire spectacularly, or at least cause significant drama - his wife is going to fall in love with his innie. Think about it, if their marriage is going through a rough patch, and she gets to spend time with a version of her husband who lacks all of the assumptions/grudges he has against her - basically starting all over… yeah, it’s gonna get strange. The way she talked about it to o!Dylan was like she was hiding it from him, almost like it’s the beginning of a potential affair…

(I also am still of the mind that either she or one of their children is terminally ill in some way, hence the benefits/insurance that Dylan is always looking after. He also complained a few times about having sore arms and jokes he works out. I feel this might be related somehow? But not sure…)

I stand by my theory that the board is actually the motherboard and is Kier’s (and his successors?) consciousness, or something of that ilk. The board was referred to as “it” in this episode (also “they”, but I believe that was meant as in plural, including Natalie). So I think we actually don’t have any proof that it’s multiple people or even people period. It will be like the export double meaning I mentioned earlier. Again, the board is hot on Mark staying and working because it wants him to finish Cold Harbor so it can begin the revival of Kier’s family (the rotation could potentially mean their minds being uploaded. Or something of that nature.)

No big theories or details to chew on here, but things that got big reactions from me: the Black Kier portraits I was expecting but still not prepared for. I desperately want to see Natalie’s portraits that she received; were they all biracial, all women, or both? The idea of genderbent biracial Kier family is killing me. This is like Hamilton (I think). Cobel definitely was going to die if she went into the building, she made the right call, I was terrified that her car might explode as she left. Phew. Next episode is going to be a roller coaster, I can tell. Shocked that he’s starting reintegration so soon but I’m here for it. Worried that Devon is going to get murdered. And I’m waiting for Cobel to get hunted down by Mark or for her to willingly seek him out as she realizes this is her only chance left to… do whatever the fuck it is she wants to do.

[genderkoolaid]

the fact that you guys always criticize radfems for having the “same views as conservatives”, and suggest that they analyze it because it must mean something, but are now crying alongside conservatives about women rejecting relationships with men? I would love you guys to look into this newfound alliance with conservative america. If straight (or bisexual) women were happy dating men, this wouldn’t be happening, but they aren’t, because men (no matter who they voted) are absolute trash to them. Any woman, no matter her political compass or involvement with feminism, complains about dating men. So maybe, instead of crying on the internet about women refusing to participate in dating anymore, which is completely their choice and no matter how you put it, what you’re arguing against is women’s choice not to date men, why don’t you try to have empathy? Women in south korea started the movement because over there, the situation with misogyny is unbearable. And if men are truly leftists they will understand. These days in America, men have been going around telling women: your body, my choice (yes, in real life). But of course, defend men and their right to women’s bodies! Conservatives will thank you for the hard work.

so I actually think that people just conflating radical feminism with generic conservatism are wrong and generally lack an understanding of what radical feminism as an actual ideology is. And yet I also still am strongly against your entire movement. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anyways again this movement already existed and then failed in the US. because female separatism sucks ass and inevitably alienates a ton of women, oftentimes the women who most need a strong feminist movement. but nooo im SURE that THIS time you generalize all men, it DEFINITELY won't result in bisexual women, sex workers, mothers of male children being harassed and rejected by other feminists for having "male energy" or "centering men" for having normal human relationships. that's definitely never happened before in your movement!

[jasperandhenryslovechild]

now that the shock of watching this trailer over and over and over again has worn down a tiny bit i need to ask, what the fuck is that hero costume and what does this mean for the preexisting canon dangerverse timeline

it is evident that these three costumes are NOT the same thing and it doesn't make me happy at ALL.

INDIVIDUAL BREAKDOWN/ELABORATION RAMBLE UNDER THE CUT

this one

is henry danger canon, like in the very last episode.

a muted version of the danger force canon one, with a fugly mustard hoodie with the strings tied so tight that it makes me question his breathing abilities and middle-schooler-who-just-discovered-what-mouse-is hair/j. he looks like he had to pull something together last minute unlike charlotte (curse me for cropping her out) who is literally THE COOLEST ONE HERE why is she not in the movie???? she is literally a fucking cyborg with purple hair someone explain this shit to me??? it's her superiority that allowed her to absolutely EAT THIS UP while henry looks like he just went dumpster diving

it's a vibe but it's also giving ramen noodles so im giving it a low 5/10 out of pity

danger force switches it up on us with this version

henry "we don't wear masks in dystopia, we're kinda above that" hart

this one is my favorite, it's cohesive and it goes together well. it's got the more grown hero vibe that ive always wanted to see in henry ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF HIS GROWTH AS A CHARACTER!! THE RETURN OF THE KID EPISODE IS LITERALLY ALL ABOUT HOW FUCKING DIFFERENT HE IS AND IM HERE FOR IT SO HARD!!! i will absolutely drop a df henry hyper analysis some day but for now this is what we've got

the shades of burgundy and washed out red throw it together well and i can totally see an explanation behind this costume vs the old one being a simple upscale/revamp. that jacket has pockets to hide weaponry, leather would probably be a lot easier to take a tumble in (+ the knee guards not shown in this picture and like the plastic covers on the sides of his legs that i don't know the name of, implies that he takes enough hard falls to need protection in these areas!), it helps camouflage well in dystopia because the 2 seconds of clips we've seen of that place show that it's pretty dark despite its bright neon flashing lights that give it an evil sanfransokyo at night sort of vibe. it's superhero-y, but it also doesn't have all those staple childhood iconic hero things either— if anything he looks kinda ashamed to be in a superhero show and that's okay/j

overall, 10/10 because it has nothing to do with the capitan man/kid danger brand, it shows henry evolving beyond that point in his life into his own entity after being so soley dependent on ray for his entire previous career in superhero-ing

now to address this fucking monstrosity we were given just a few hours ago

i want to preface this by saying i am not ungrateful. the things i am about to say come from a place of pure dissatisfaction yet constructive criticism. ive been waiting years and years for this movie and i will literally take an hour and thirty minutes of jasper and henry twirling in a circle and make 183829992 edits of it i don't care, i love henry danger sm and the movie looks pretty cool

this being said

dear costume team of henry danger the movie,

have you ever watched henry danger and or danger force? do you even know what you're designing for? be honest, did the producers hand you this stock image

and tell you to make it mean? because every time i look at this costume there is something else wrong with it and it PAINS MY EYES. it makes him look like a cartoony ass space crusader instead of a hero fighting crime one of the most dangerous if not THE MOST DANGEROUS city in the world.

let's break this down, shall we? head to toe motherfuckers.

only not complaining about the hair and it being slicked in the same direction it used to be because it's consistent throughout the entire trailer (unlike SOME danger force episodes... cough cough return of the kid....cough cough.......)

that mask. firstly, i have issues with there being a mask at all, because danger force establishes that there are no masks in dystopia. nobody moves a finger to try and put on a mask, henry even fights SUNGLASSES. those sunglasses ray forces on him to hide his identity are brawled against, he's clearly grown out of masks. putting him back in one puts him back in that kid danger box he's been working hard to build up and out of, a concept established throughout the entire finale of henry danger and further reassured in danger force.

and if you were gonna inarguably give him a mask for simple minded audience recognition, nickelodeon, the least you could do was make it a PRETTY MASK. red was an.. okay choice for the base, but making the silver SURROUND IT? BLACK OUTLINE???? you're trying so hard to be new and cool and it is just painful on the eyes instead. the black eyeshadow under it makes him look like one of those 2020 emo dsmp cc edits and it's just like a throwback to an era nobody wants to go back to. that face card makes him looks like he listens to believer by imagine dragons while chewing that magic bubblegum. his lips are PALE, SOMEBODY GET THIS MAN SOME IRON— OH WAIT, THEY WASTED THEIR SUPPLY ON THIS NIGHT REFLECTIVE SILVER MAKEUP THAT MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE A STOP SIGN WITH A FLASHLIGHT UP IT'S ASSHOLE

then we move onto the base of the costume itself. firstly, the navy blue undershirt cut out to expose his neck says nothing to me. it does not make the statement you guys thought it would— in fact, it makes the whole thing look a pit incomplete? unkempt? it looks like theres something missing and with that black eyeshadow i think it's a thick silver chain SORRY IM DONE I'M OVER THE MASK

the vest over it gives me even more issues. you can't pull up with an audio of ray manchester going "you're not a sidekick anymore, you're a hero!!" and have THEIR FUCKING LOGO ON HIS CHEST. IT'S NOT RIGHT. ON TOP OF THE FACT THAT THE ENTIRE VEST IN AND OF ITSELF LOOKS LIKE IT WAS ROLLED IN DIRT AND HAS THE COLORATION PROPERTIES OF A DYING SEAL, THE LOGO BEING THERE AT ALL IS A MASSIVE ISSUE.

the entire POINT OF THE FINALE was that henry wanted to move on from his life as kid danger. he sacrificed himself and faked his entire death to thousands of people in order to become his own person. he had no life outside of crime fighting because he has no skills or traits outside of crime fighting— he gave up his entire childhood for it so naturally it's all he can gravitate to as he moves forward in dystopia. being a crime fighter once more is a punch in the face enough that he will never really escape who he once was despite the fact that HE GOT AWAY.

HE GOT AWAY.

in NO WORLD WOULD THE HENRY HART I KNOW AND LOVE PROUDLY WEAR THE SYMBOL OF THE VERY MAN THAT FAILED HIM. ray manchester failed him throughout his entire childhood— failed at giving him a normal kid life, failed at providing context and details before or even during the time he accepted the job— and yet here the movie is. he is wearing a rip off of his old costume in an attempt to leave behind who he was. that is ironic, that is HORRIBLE. because by putting him in this FUGLY ASS DOLLAR STORE COSTUME, not only are you retconning the evolution he's been working towards, you are denying him the right to become something greater than just kid danger

in the old costumes, the designs were different because he as a person was different. his entire character arc throughout the hd finale to now was just that, becoming different.

this is not different— this is just an older version of the ghost he's been leaving behind time and time again. dragging him back to his roots. there are millions of ways to drag him back to his roots in the movie itself because those roots will never free him, that is the entire point of him post henry danger and there's so many ways to show that. but changing his costume, one of the only parts of his new hero identity that he himself gets to choose, to resemble his old costume so similarly is just blatantly saying fuck you to the current dangerverse timeline and who that has made him out to be.

my final question is, what does that mean for everything else?

cause like, if the hd/df costumes are no longer a thing in the movie, what happened to them?? why did henry choose this bullshit over the FIREEE costumes in his past?? why would he ever do that to himself bro

and also BLACKOUT?? DO WE NOT GET AN EXPLANATION ON THAT???? BECAUSE EVEN NICKELODEON THEM FUCKING SELVES MADE A THEORY VIDEO ABOUT BLACKOUT BEING JASPER AND THEN WE PULL UP WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER

LIKE GUYS I'M NOT GETTING IT ARE WE EVER GONNA GET AN EXPLANATION ON WHO BLACKOUT IS AND WHY HE WAS CAUGHT UP WITH HENRY— ALSO JASPER'S JUST TRANSFORMING RANDOMLY IN PUBLIC??? DOES THAT NOT NUKE THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF HENRYS MASK?????

i do have very good things to say about this teaser, do not let your eyes deceive you, but i also have these complaints that i don't necessarily need answered if not I just need them to be heard

if you've made it this far thank you so much for coming to my insanely long ted talk

[solarsturniolo]

you say you can’t watch the trips anymore bc nick is too rude but ignore the fact that for months on end matt was rude but everyone js said “oh that’s his mattitude” that’s pretty weird to me man idk

Matt has also gotten very rude. i’m not dismissing that at all. But nick’s piss poor attitude has been consistent for about a year now and i’m over it 😀 He can’t take any constructive criticism, he makes fun of and talks shit about his fan base CONSTANTLY, he never stops complaining, and quite frankly i find it so unattractive when people are like that. Matt has an attitude and he’s been getting worse recently as well.

Like they keep saying, they’re twenty one years old. they need to grow up and fucking act like it. Their behavior on the internet would be excusable for like 15-17 year olds, but they are adults. They can legally drink, they can vote, they can be drafted in the military. It’s about time someone (Laura) does their job and hires them a PR person because clearly they have ZERO training.

My life may be crazy now, what with all of the going out and going to frat parties and stuff that’s happening, but i am so much happier now that im not stuck in this Sturniolo Slum.

When Nick finally figures out that the world doesn’t revolve around him, and that he’s not always 100% right, then maybe i’ll give them a second chance. But i don’t see that happening anytime within the near future, because his ego is bigger than his fucking mouth. And this has absolutely NOTHING to do with his sexuality, before the sturniolo police decide to put me on blast. I’m a girl and i love pussy, but i still treat people with respect and decency, and i can accept and acknowledge when im wrong about something.

[skyflyinginaction]

can you get into detail about the OB confronting their OB versions?

The overblots reference their flaws and insecurities, going over them is pretty self-explanatory, but I am going to list them here: Idia is an interesting case, unlike the other OB victims in this post, he doesn’t face himself but his own brother. 

OB Ortho:

His phantom symbolizes Idia’s shadow of failing to protect Ortho; he blames himself for his brother's death. 

Instead of the phantom gettnig angry instead he consoles Idia and tells him to stop blaming himself and reminds Idia of what he has to do, its heartwarming becuase even as a phantom he still cares about his brother always encourages him. 

Idia: 

Idia realizes just how much he depends and how that dependence on ortho trapped him in the underworld and forced him to take on tasks that Idia himself didn’t. 

Idia is facing his own inner demons of his failure to protect himself and accepting his death, and accepting his brother's death, the last part is of him freeing himself of his shackles

OB Vil:

The shadow is a manifestation of Vil’s envy and resentment towards Neige and his overwhelming need for external validation. The shadow plays on his doubts that he will be remembered as an ugly, terrible person, crushed by all the boulders that are criticism. 

Vil:

Vil accepts his darkness and the ugliness of his actions. He does away with any labels he reaffirms his self-confidence, even when dressed in shadows mirroring when he was old. 

OB Jamil:

The shadow is lamenting its current situation and is full of self-pity, harbors contempt for Kalim, and blames him for the fact that he can’t act freely, as well as blaming others, such as his parents and upbringing, for being the problem. 

Jamil:

Jamil acknowdged that his upbringing played a factor in his problems as well as use to views other in contempt and held back so he can show off to others when he has the chance this caused him to hinder his own potencial and screw up badly. Jamil, who used to criticize others, now criticizes. Jamil criticizes his own shadow, stating that he is one of the main reasons for his problems; that it's his own narrow-mindedness is the reason that hinders his potential. 

OB Azul:

The shadow manifestation as his insecruites that refused to acknowledge his weak self to the point he hangs on to a powerful self image of being dressed in talents to not face it, this also highlights this obession he hangs on to desperately, he clings onto his shallow appearance resulting him in taking others talents and items to maintain that apperance this in turn caused him to be burdened by the weight of his sins. 

Azul: 

Azul acknowledged that he can’t achieve personal growth if he's burdened by the weight of his sins, and now realizes they aren’t things he actually finds valuable, and wants to find things with real value 

OB Leona: 

The shadow complains how it isn’t fair, and is frustrated that Faluana and Cheka believe the reason he isn't acknowledged is because of them. The shadow stated that he boasted he was better than anyone, but doesn’t try to compete on his own merit, fearing that if he competes seriously and loses, the pride he had been trying to protect will be in tatters. When his pride is in tatters, it would expose his vulnerability. That's the reason he was scared of hope, knowing how soul-crushing it is when it was destroyed making which was part vulnerability, and he couldn’t stand that; this is why he ran away. The shadow desired acknowledgment, assuming that people wouldn’t understand him, but in reality never worked hard to gain others' acknowledgment, which was the cause of his own misery, which was in no way to be anyone's fault but his own.

Leona:

Leona is disgusted with his past mindset but chooses to leave as a way of letting go of his toxic mindset, even Leona acknowledged that the cause of his own misery was in no part to be anyone's fault but his own. Leona using long live the king to reject his overblown self symbolizes his decision to break free from his own self-doubt and resentment 

OB Riddle:

The shadow manifests as Riddle's worst flaws in book 1. Riddle refuses to listen to the people around him. It also states that even when Riddle is smart, he is inflexible and unable to control his emotions; he is a childish and angry person who lacks humanity. The reason they defined his position as president there will be no place for him, fearing that without that responsibility, they will be alone

Riddle:

Riddle realizes he didn’t make sense in book 1 and acknowledged that he took one wrong turn and became a tyrant, and that he is wrong. When the shadow taunted him by reminding him of his flaws, he didn’t respond but remained silent in book 1. he couldn’t handle criticism because it was an attack on his sense of self, but the fact that he doesn’t respond proves how far he has come. He calls the shadow conceited because the shadow was trying to choose for him, and Riddle wasn’t going to let anyone decide for him

That was all I got for the boys confronting their ob forms. I could be wrong while I explained this, but you think you otherwise or have input to add, feel free.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for exposing my sister-in-law's secret during a fight?

Ok, this one is going to need a bunch of context.

I (29F) started to date my fiance F (31M) when I was 26. While he is the sweetest person ever, his family is a bit difficult and it was hard for me to fit in. They are a very traditional family of Japanese descent, very rich too, and his mother MIL (60sF) had a dream of seeing all of her three sons married to other rich girls of Japanese descent. I am white and from very humble origins, so I was not very well accepted at first. The thing that bothered me the most was the constant comparisons to my brother in law BIL's (34M) wife SIL (33F), who is rich and of Japanese descent. I was deeply in love with F and decided to fight for my place in his family; I started to take Japanese classes and ended up really good at it, and I was also the one who took care of MIL after her appendicitis' surgery. She recognized my hard work and we became closer and closer, at the same time she realized SIL didn't make the same effort for her and the family as I do, and she started to be very vocal about how I was her favorite daughter in law and how SIL should do better and try to be more like me. Suddenly, the tables have turned and SIL was the one being compared to me, no the other way around.

Of course she didn't like that at all and started to antagonize me and criticize every small thing about me. She would complain my dog would bark too much (which she did, but SIL was a little mean about it), and when my dog died, she made a comment about how finally she wouldn't have to hear her barking anymore (that stung a lot since I loved my dog with all my heart and she was like a baby to me), she would also complain about my apartment every time she visited me, saying it was too cheap (as I said, I come from humble origins) and her newest topic of complaining are my earrings: I like to wear cute and funny earrings (only at work and family gatherings, I don't wear them at social events or anything like that) and she always talks about how I'm too old to wear them and how tacky it looks. F and I noticed she's been progressively meaner the closer we get to our wedding (three months from now) and think she's trying to scare me away before I become an official part of the family.

One last piece of context: some months ago, F told me in confidence about how 6 years ago SIL's brother and sister in law died in a car accident and left an orphaned boy of 4 years old. SIL was the little boy's only family, but she refused to take him in saying she already had too much work with her own son (who was also 4 at the time). That didn't go well with the family; MIL and my father in law (who was alive at the time) assured her they would help with the kid and she would have all the support, but she simply didn't want the boy, so he was sent to the system. That was something MIL never forgave her for, since family is everything to her, and it was something only MIL, BIL, SIL, F and his younger brother knew. He told me that in confidence and asked me to not tell anyone. I promised I wouldn't.

Now for the actual situation.

Our last family dinner was one of F's cousins' birthday, so all the extended family was around. No kidding, I think there were around 60 people there or more. SIL, once again, decided to mock me about my earrings (little cherry earrings, very cute) and talked again how I was to old to wear them, how they were kid earrings etc. I've been tolerating her bullshit for so long now and after her comments about my dog's death, I was more sensitive than usual, so I snapped back and said that it's not because she dresses herself like an old lady that I have to do the same. She got angry at that and a proper fight started; we saying worse and worse stuff to each other while everyone stopped to watch. It ended up with her mocking my upbringing and calling me a gold digger, accusing my of only being with F for his money. That really struck a nerve because I heard that before at the beginning of our relationship and it always hurt my feelings, since I genuinely love F. Before I could even think about it, I said: "At least I'm not a heartless bitch like you. How's your nephew doing, by the way? Oh, you have no idea, right? Since you put him in a fucking orphanage!"

She got speechless after that and left the place, went straight to her car with BIL and went home. I didn't hear from her or him since them. F is furious with me since he told me that in confidence and now all the extended family knows SIL's secret. MIL doesn't care at all; she never got over what SIL did to that little boy and it's been a while since SIL isn't in her best graces.

Now that I'm calmer I feel a little guilty for exposing SIL like that, but she was always so awful to me that I can't really feel that bad. Mostly, I feel bad for BIL, with who I always had a good relationship and even defended me back in the day when the family didn't accept me very well. Now he's not talking to me either and, as far as I know, he's also not talking to F.

So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[timeagainreviews]

The Robot Revolution Will Be Televised

If headlines were anything to go by, pre-screened reviews of the latest episode of Doctor Who, “The Robot Revolution,” were mixed. The ending was referred to as “controversial.” My gut reaction was worry that it would be yet another lore change. I felt like the Babadook mum screaming, “Why can’t you just be normal?” There were a couple of moments that I felt could be divisive. Cat fanciers might have balked at the untimely demise of Lucy from number 7’s cat. Then there was the moment when our lovable robot pal, Scoot, vacuums up Alan at his most zygotic. But Lucy from number 7’s cat was quite literally RTD doing the opposite of saving the cat to let you know these robots are bad business. And the sperm and egg line is so camp that it’s going to be one of those “my girlfriend is a paving slab instances.” But we know the real reason this episode might spark controversy.

Was that the first cannon mention of sperm in Doctor Who? I certainly can’t recall another instance of the word in the show’s nearly 62 years of existence. The new Davies era has added quite a few new words to Doctor Who’s lexicon. We now have cosplay, sperm, and even incel. That’s two new additions in a single episode! Bravo! Jokes aside, it’s the incels who may or may not be mad about this episode. I’ve learned to turn down the volume of those types of people years ago. I often refer to it as background static because that’s what it is. The truth is, the only issue I have with Belinda Chandra saying “It’s the planet of the incels,” is that it’s a bit on the nose. But this episode is so camp that I’m not even upset.

The Chibnall era had the unfortunate knock-on effect on people’s perception of a woman Doctor. Because the show wasn’t very good, some people (idiots) blamed it on Jodie Whittaker’s gender. Another knock-on effect was how it made so any legitimate criticism of the era also had to first combat claims of sexism. It was a messy time in the fandom. But when the show is good and people are still complaining, then what is the complaint? No episode of Doctor Who is perfect, but this might be one of those times where if you didn’t like the episode, it’s probably because you’re an incel. You’d have to make one hell of an argument because, baby, I had fun!

My impression of Russell T Davies has always been that he’s a man who appreciates when Doctor Who is a little camp. He even refers to the Robots as “camp” on Doctor Who Unleashed. Part of Doctor Who’s charm is that it exists in a hyper-reality where Doctor Who is possible. This week, he leaned heavily on the retro-futurism of ‘50s B-movies, citing 1955’s “This Island Earth” as one of his main inspirations. Fans of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 will be well-acquainted with This Island Earth, as it’s the film they riff in the MST3K movie. It’s a gloriously corny bit of science fiction from Universal in their post-horror era. The AI Generator’s throne room could easily have existed on Metaluna.

However, the usage of retro-futurism here is also part of a growing trend in sci-fi to embrace vintage tech. In the Alien franchise, we’ve seen the return of the chonky mechanical keyboards of the Nostromo. The computers in Star Wars still look like absolute dogshit. And. I. Am. Here. For. It. It’s nice to see the Doctor using computer panels that resemble something the Second Doctor would have utterly destroyed. I’m reminded of “World Enough and Time/The Doctor Falls,” when they took the look of the Cybermen from “The Tenth Planet,” and updated their texture and materials enough to make them seem realistic. Things don’t always need to look how you expect them to, they can look how they need to look. The Doctor doesn’t need to pull up a Tony Stark-type HUD of holographic buttons for me to believe he’s on an alien planet.

Grounding this fantastic wonderworld in a bit of much-needed reality is Varada Sethu as Belinda Chandra. Belinda is a nurse who works hard for the NHS. She lives off of the least spoiled items in a community fridge. She’s a no-nonsense type who treats her work with the utmost sincerity. For the most part, nobody needs to tell us that Belinda takes her job seriously because it’s evident through her actions. Belinda doesn’t just sleep soundly; she sleeps on her stomach over her covers, presumably where she collapsed in exhaustion the instant she got home. This is precisely the sort of character work I’ve been missing from RTD since he returned. His work crafting the Tyler household was so strong that you felt as though you knew Jackie and Rose. I hope he keeps developing Belinda in this fashion.

We first meet Belinda as a teenager, talking to her dickweed of a boyfriend, Alan Budd. It’s clear from the outset that Alan doesn’t respect or even particularly like Belinda. He wants to possess and control her. He names a star after her but needs to associate it with her marital status by adding “Miss” at the beginning of her name. He critiques how she tears open her gift. He also steals the world’s most awkward and unearned kiss from her. In part, Alan is a knob and she knows it.

I found it a bit odd that Belinda would keep the star certificate all of these years later. But despite the irksome “Miss,” or Alan’s name on the diploma, it is still a bit cool to have a star named after you. Alan, as it would turn out, was the least significant part of that equation. In the words of Bilbo Baggins, “Why not keep it?” The episode wastes no time bringing the Robots into Belinda’s life. They drop in, break down some walls, terrify some nurses, and vaporise Lucy from number 7’s cat. RIP kitty. But things don’t happen so fast as to deny us a brief moment with the enigmatic and fourth-wall-breaking Mrs Flood. She’s up to her usual spooky shit. Very little new to report there. The question one must ask, however, is whether Belinda lives near where Ruby lived, or does Mrs Flood get about?

The Doctor tries to save Belinda, but as he’s chasing her, both she and the Doctor experience a “schwup,” in the space-time continuum, causing them to arrive at their destination at different points in time. Their destination? Missbelindachandra One is a planet whose name I would have read as gibberish the first few times in a book but is simply Belinda’s name as it appears on the star certificate, sans spacing, plus one. The Robots are the merciless hatchetmen of an imbicilic AI Generator. This is one of those rare moments where Doctor Who referencing current events doesn’t feel painfully dated, as the AI debate still rages on. You’ll be happy to know that anything you ever read on my blog is always 100% me. Fuck AI.

The Doctor has ingratiated himself into society on Missbelindachandra One. He holds the prestigious title of historian, which, when you consider megalomanics and their attitude toward accurate history must have been torture to the Doctor. Can you imagine trying to spin the AI Generator’s status as a bronze Torbjorn main as something cool? The Doctor truly is selfless. I’d have been stealing shit from the office every day. Call it quiet quitting, I call it fighting the power. My wibbly wobbly timey wimey lunch breaks would redefine the meaning of thirty minutes. Though, I do find the timing all to be a bit off. The Doctor says it took him a long time to rise to the role of Historian, but he’d been there for 6 months before Sasha 55 discovered him. Though, as we’ve learned from the Eleventh Doctor, any time sitting still is interminable. In an episode so fucky, it’s ironic that that’s the only timeline that confuses me.

Spoilers for the 1994 Jean-Claude Van Damme action sci-fi movie “Timecop,” but this episode reminded me of Timecop. Particularly, the moment when the evil Senator MacComb touches himself from another timeline, and the two melt into a puddle. It left an impression on 11-year-old me as it was one more way, like quicksand, which could totally kill me. Previously on Doctor Who, two of the same object or person co-existing has a plethora of effects, especially when those two items or people touch. Rose Tyler holds baby Rose Tyler, and the walls of reality weaken. Amy Pond touches her younger self, and nothing happens. Two of the same sonic screwdriver throw sparks. These diplomas throw us into a trippy Troughtonesque psychedelia where people age in and out of form like a Chris Cunningham video. It's a stunning bit of film making, and that shit reminded me of Timecop. 

Much of this episode reminded me of other stories. We have echoes of “The Girl in the Fireplace,” with a society of automatons (and people) taking a name too literally. My sister and I are watching through modern Who at the moment, and we found weird parallels within “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship.” The villainous Solomon even spurred my sister into saying “Incels make the best villains.” Too true, Rachelle. Too true. But the story which I thought of the most was the Seventh Doctor adventure, “Paradise Towers.” You have a dystopian future where society is thrown into chaos by an overzealous artificial intelligence. My friend Gerry and I both commented that the moment Manny showed up, we both thought of Pex. The big evil robot faces even compliment each other. I also thought of Futurama’s Femputer, which is really secretly a Fembot, which is itself a reference to The Wizard of Oz.

A man behind a curtain is exactly the issue. Alan Budd is our AI Generator. After Belinda inadvertently got Alan kidnapped ten years in the past (thanks to the schwup), he became a sadistic ruler over Missbelindachandrakind. However, due to a fault in programming, he runs on an 8-part cycle, rendering him and his robot thugs unable to hear every ninth word. Because of this, a rebellion was able to form against the AI Generator. But he too is fighting his own rebellion against himself, the Alan part of him that exists within every ninth moment yearns for death. He’s a pathetic figure, really. He’s an idiot’s idea of power. A very apt archetype for today’s leadership. I like to think it was a conscious decision on the effects department’s behalf to make one of his arms way bigger than the other. Alan is clearly working out at Onan’s Gym. It really is the cherry on top of an already stunning design.

Davies’ season openers are usually airier romps. Something to dip our toes back into the world of Doctor Who. Aspects reminded me of “Smith and Jones,” when the Judoon force the Doctor and his new companion into meeting through kidnapping. “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” while initially praised as a return in tone to the Star Wars franchise, has since been reappraised (perhaps unfairly) as a rehash of the original film. Similar criticisms have been lobbied toward RTD, which accuse him of recycling older concepts from Doctor Who. It comes with the territory when a writer returns to a franchise. You’re bound to see some of the same themes. But Doctor Who does this a lot. “The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood” is basically a rehash of “The Silurians,” with a dash of “Frontios” thrown in for good measure. “Rise of the Cybermen/The Age of Steel” is a reimagining of the origins of the Cybermen, swapping the mirrored “Tenth Planet” of Mondas for an alternate reality Earth. We’re in season two of this new version of the show, expect to see more “remixing” of the classics. You’re old now.

One thing which I hoped Davies would do is chill out a bit. Stop trying so hard and just let loose a little. This feels like that. When Rose Noble gave her speech about being non-binary in “The Star Beast,” I complained that it felt a bit clunky. It had that awkward David Lynch is your uncle telling transphobes to fix their hearts or die energy to it. It comes out a bit weird, but his heart is in the right place. But with this story, it felt more natural. Sure, lines like “You’ve taken coercive control and made it complete control of the whole planet,” are a bit on the nose, but as I said earlier, the camp tone affords those moments. This all feels very deliberate and considered.

Much of the script feels thoughtful, which in turn proves to be thought-provoking. One aspect to science fiction I’ve always wondered about was whether “humans” in things like Star Wars are like us. Belinda asks a question that you seldom hear come up in sci-fi, and that is whether or not Missbelindachandrakind share a similar physiology to humans. I love that not only does Davies ask the question, but he even takes the time to discuss the differences for no reason other than flavour. It’s nice to see Davies having fun with the ideas he’s bringing up. This tells me he’s engaging with his own concepts and developing them in a way that says, “Thank god we have more writers this year.” He’s not just in love with his ideas, he’s exploring them.

Some fans will have been disappointed that the skeletal ray gun effect from the trailers wasn’t the result of Daleks. I even saw fan theories that Alan’s golden form was the new look for Omega. This is exactly why I stay away from fan speculation as it’s never accurate. However, one clarification from the trailer for which I was grateful was the origin of the Doctor’s cream coloured costume. While the annoying side of the internet was busy melting down over the Doctor’s blue kilt, I was quietly hating on the cream coloured costume that he wears throughout this episode. Ncuti Gatwa’s Doctor Who costumes have been rather varied, but generally keep to a few themes. We see a recurrence of tartan patterns, overcoats, and tight fitting shirts. His costume here is the only one from the trailer which felt wrong for the Doctor. So I am very pleased that there was a story reason he was dressed so drab.

Ncuti and Varada have believable chemistry. I like that it’s not so cut and dry. The Doctor is trying to be flashy and cryptic, whereas Belinda is reserved and direct. She doesn’t appreciate the Doctor’s showing off, which is a quality I have always admired in companions. If you read my article about older companions, you’ll know I appreciate their less-than-starry-eyed approach to the Doctor. Donna Noble, Evelyn Smythe, Ian and Barbara, Tegan; none had time for the Doctor’s shit. Belinda is in good company, and I like that she holds the Doctor to a higher standard. Belinda has a good head on her shoulders. She won’t put her skills as a nurse to waste. And she certainly won’t let someone die in her name. She’s also brave in a way I admire. She’s ready to sacrifice herself to save lives.

One aspect of the Doctor and Belinda’s relationship that I’m less into is something RTD seems to be doing more of recently. Instances where two characters experience a lifetime over a short period to insta-bond them is a weak story device. Whatever method they employ to fast-forward character bonding steals real moments of discovery between the actors and the audience. There’s showing, and there’s telling, and this was telling. It doesn’t feel earned, it feels hollow. It’s the weakest element of this episode and I wish they would stop doing this type of shit. What’s the hurry? Why does the Doctor need to state how much he cares about and knows Belinda now? What purpose does that serve other than to reveal too much of the Doctor’s interiority? Shouldn’t we, as an audience, trust the Doctor’s judgment in people by this point? It feels cheap because it is cheap.

Despite the episode’s daft energy, real stakes are established beyond a cartoonish cat skeleton disbursing into the ether. The Doctor’s friend Sasha 55 is unceremoniously cut down by Robots moments after discussing her future travels with the Doctor. The way she was talking to the Doctor like “Take me to the stars,” she may as well have painted a target on her back. It’s the Doctor Who equivalent of a policeman one day from retirement. For their sake, we pretend to be shocked when they die. But we knew. We knew. That isn’t to say that losing Sasha 55 wasn’t an effective moment- quite the opposite. Evelyn Miller gives an effective performance in the short time she’s onscreen. I know people give Ncuti grief for crying too easily, but here it’s totally appropriate. We’re reminded of other would-be companions who didn’t live to see the day. Lynda with a Y. Rita from “The God Complex.” Astrid Peth. And now Sasha 55. RIP Sasha 55. I liked you better than “Orphan 55.”

Watching Belinda walk toward her fate of marrying the AI Generator and becoming incased in gold gave me flashes of Han Solo on his way to the carbonite freezing chamber. The orange lighting pushing through the foggy clouds cast a brilliant glow on Varada’s face, convincing me that she was always meant to be a part of the Star Wars universe. This was her “Empire Strikes Back” moment for sure. The strength in the moment comes from Belinda’s choice not to hide. The Doctor and Manny were working out a plan that sounded foolhardy at best. Anyone within earshot would know it was a doomed mission. Belinda alerts the Robots to her location. She goes willingly. There’s a selflessness to her actions that screams Doctor Who companion far more than the Doctor witnessing her life could ever achieve. Her brand of self-sacrifice is heartbreaking to see, and I wonder if it's completely healthy. I hope they explore that.

The same sombre tone follows us into the ending of the story. When the Doctor fails to bring Belinda back to her own time, we’re shown images of a wrecked earth floating in space. Something or someone has removed or destroyed the earth, and it’s legitimately creepy. It’s giving “The Stolen Earth,” and I’m here for it, again. Though the “Planet of the Apes” style half Statue of Liberty must have been a massive blow to the Weeping Angels. That was like one of their tallest soldiers. I joke, but I also don’t joke. I had to sit through “The Angels Take Manhattan,” and now you’re telling me it meant nothing? It makes you ask the wrong questions in the moment. Questions like “Isn’t that thing alive?” “Is it dead now?” And “Why is it always the top of the statue? Why not the feet?”

I mentioned previously that I might try and write these reviews along with a corresponding Saturday morning cartoon. However, I believe it was my adherence to this bit that delayed this article. After I had watched “The Robot Revolution,” I felt a surge of positive energy about Doctor Who and I really just wanted to sit in silence for a bit. I usually take that as a good sign after watching something. When I sit there quietly absorbing everything I’ve just seen. But when I hit play on that episode of Spider-Woman, the moment ended. So I don’t want to do that anymore. It seemed a fun idea at the time, but I would rather just abide in the time and space allotted to me by Doctor Who. A time which might not always be there. A space so fantastic that Doctor Who can exist within it. Here’s to season three.

[verstappenf1lecccc]

would you write a Nando x reader like a longish one where she’s a fan at the British Grand Prix like that’s her home country and all.. and Nando is all annoyed and everything because of the British weather but they fall in love after Nando has to apologise to the reader.. however Nando wants to leave the uk as its weather depresses him carries on all season racing then realises he misses the reader and comes back for her and is like home is where you are blah blah .. I want angst and lots of fluff and comfort.. I never see enough Fernando I need more please 🙏

But god i love the English

I am so sorry for how late this is being uploaded!! I really hope you like it :) once again i am so sorry for not posting this sooner.

Let me know if you guys like it and or want a part two :)

British weather, you’ve heard of beach weather or even sweater weather but what you might have not heard off was British weather. Bipolar, Unpredictable and frankly a nuisance.

If there was one thing Fernando Alonso would openly hate and criticize it would be the British weather, something about the cold and gloomy weather never sat right with his Spanish blood, it wasn’t that he wanted it to rain and be cold it was just the way the weather would pull a sad cast over the country pissed Fernando off.

He thrived in the salty Spanish atmosphere always groaning and making up excuses for when Lawrence needed him to come to the UK especially with the production of the new factory. He despised it and once almost semi threatened the older stroll into leaving if he had to visit the UK more than twice a year. That included the British Grand Prix. Let’s just say senior stroll was not pleased with his antics but hey who was he to judge.

Fate was a twisted thing when you come to think of it.

Fernando would never believe you if you would have come up to him months ago and say that he willingly took more than two flights a year to the UK, all for what you may be asking. He was doing it all for love.

The way they met was nothing short of a love story.

It was the British Grand Prix, and she was there eyes trying to capture everything the atmosphere had to offer, she’d work her butt off to finally afford paddock passes. It was her dream come true. A little fun fact about her was that she was painfully patriotic, she was the type of person to cry annually on the queens passing day, she was the type of person who wouldn’t mind giving her two cents whenever someone would dare complain about her country infront if her. She was also the type of person who considered one direction a national treasure and cried when Zayn left the band. she loved her nation and was proud to be British. It wasn’t a surprise that her favorite driver was Sir Lewis Hamilton, it was rather fitting but what was surprising was that her second favorite rather then being George was Fernando. Her friends found that bit rather ironic but alas.

Fernando had spotted her way before her sense even registered that she was far too deep into the paddock way beyond what her day pass allowed her to be, the Spaniards assistant was about to knock some sense into the girl but was stopped by a quick grunt from his boss.

Something captivated Fernando about her, it was almost like she had brought sunshine and brightness in her that she sort off over shadowed the gloomy weather. He liked that about her, Fernando was never shy especially when it came to getting girls number or talking with them but with her he almost was shy, a rather weird feeling for him. He wanted to get her name or her number before she could blend in with the hundreds of fans present. Fate had other plans. Before he would approach her security came to drag her away from the area and also ended up dragging Fernando away from his chance to get to know the girl. He ended up having a faint laugh over his luck.

The race ended up with Lewis winning followed by both Fernando and lance on the podium. It was one of the greatest moments for the team something Fernando would never forget. A double podium would be any teams dream but for a team like Aston Martin it was a miracle. Fernando doesn’t know why he said yes to staying longer in the UK with the team to celebrate the victory the logical part of him thought that it was due to the love he had for his team but a part deep inside of him knew otherwise.

Fernando knew someone was looking out for him when he ended up bumping his Aston Martin into a rather tipsy passerby, who might that passerby be you might be wondering? Well it was none other then the pretty girl Fernando had set his eyes on in the paddock. Fate really had a twisted way of bringing people together. But hey Fernando wasn’t going to complain especially if it brought him to her.

The first thing that registered in her mind was that the fabcy car she was ogling at had in fact hit her. She didn’t mind the part where the handsome Spanish driver came out and started apologizing rather quickly for her drunk mind to comprehend. She thought his lips were pretty and had accidentally said it out loud which only resulted in the Spaniard laughing.

Fernando knew she was drunk and he did his best to try and get a friends name or number to get the girl he now knew as yn home.

Alas she was not budging only saying that she lived just down the street and that she could walk. Long story short she could not. Not only that she ended up throwing up in his car and then going on a rather long rant about how perfect Britain is and when Fernando mentioned the weather she quickly shut him up by throwing up again. ladies and gentlemen at this exact moment Fernando knew that she was the one for him minus the throw up.

He had ended up flagging a cab down and had found out her number and address and made sure she got home safe. He made sure that she had a little something to eat prior to getting into a cab and that resulted in a still rather tipsy but more sober yn giving him her number.

It was exactly a week later when they went out on their first date and the rest is history.

2 years down the line and the only issue in their rather perfect relationship was the weather. To anyone’s SUPRISE Fernando had ended up traveling to the UK 24 times in each year that they have been together. Both of them knew this wasn’t an environmental or logical solution to their issues.

It was a no brainer to Fernando, when he had proposed the idea of asking her to move in with him in Spain. He knew how much he missed the Spanish sun and the salty air, funny enough he really missed his homeland. Fernando was one proud man his nationality being one of the many things he was proud about. He hates being away from her and hates the UK weather even more so when he suggests moving to Spain he really thought it would work.

Alas when the idea was brought up she simply said no, it left Fernando rather perplexed and confused as to why she wouldn’t want to live with him. He had taken it the wrong way, of course she wanted to live with him she bloody loved the bloke and didn’t was to be away from him but she didn’t want to leave the UK.

It was a weird situation neither of the patriots wanted to leave their country and settle somewhere else. Unfortunately this debate carried on for way too long and ended up in a rather tense argument which lead to Fernando saying “A la mierda, claramente amas este país y este clima miserable más de lo que me amas a mí. no puedo soportarlo más”

* fuck this you clearly love this country and this miserable weather more than you love me. i can't take it anymore*

and with that he had packed up his bags for the dreaded triple header, neither of them being mature enough to find a solution and sort things out before he left for the month. the way his words churned in her head made her eyes tear up and tore her heart into two. She didn’t mean to make him upset and make him feel like she didn’t want to live with him. She simply just didn’t want to leave the country it was all she ever knew.

On the other hand Fernando was miserable, a triple header was never easy especially when you had just argued with your girlfriend prior to leaving. He regretted his words and his tone, he hated how entitled he sounded. He didn’t want to hurt her but he genuinely just wanted to move to Spain with the love of his life, the other reason he wanted to get her to Spain was so that he could propose to her in the heart of his city. He had it all planned. He really didn’t know if she would even say yes after this fight.

It was 3 days into the argument when they first made contact. It was the first time they had gone so long without talking and it genuinely killed both of them.

Fernando being the older and wiser fox had called her in the hopes of her temper subsiding and to simply hear her voice. He had sent flowers to her apartment as a token of his remorse and in hopes of her texting him.

She didn’t pick up his call. That had left his head pounding with worry and his heart hurting, was she truly going to leave him.

She couldn’t take it anymore all she wanted was to jump into his arms and have him hold her close while whispering apologies in his native tongue.

So she did what every rational person would do, she booked a plane ticket to the next race. Surprisingly enough it ended up being Spain, she knew he would be smug about it after they had made up. It was a red eye flight and was well over 12 hours with the layovers. She didn’t mean to end up ignoring his call and had not even seen the message.

It was well into the second practice session when she showed up in the paddock and was simply directed to Fernando’s drivers room where she sat for the remainder of the session. She knew she should have given Fernando context over shutting down his idea. She wanted to apologize but it seemed like fate wanted to add a little drama into their lives and made Fernando crash his Aston Martin into the barriers jusy as the session was coming to a end. The red flag and seeing her man in the crumpled car were all she needed to end up bursting into tears. She knew that he was okay but as he aged she knew that although the accident looked rather simple it could have a higher impact on his body.

It was a quick stop at the medical center for Fernando before he made his way into his drivers room just to check if his love had called him back. What he wasn’t expecting was to be attacked by a crying mess.

He held her close as she sobbed into his chest, fear and anxiety making her a crying mess. But in Fernando’s eyes she was nothing but an angel. He held her close letting her rant about how stupid it was of him to have a crash and how she never wants to see that ever again. He let her ramble until she slowly calmed down.

He then peppered her with kisses and held her whilst he apologized for everything. For the way he spoke to her for the way he marched out and for simply crashing. He rambled on saying something along the lines of never leaving her especially after arguing and that he didn’t care about the miserable weather anymore and he just wanted to be close to her no matter what country it ended up being in.

His apology resulted in a fresh wave of tears escaping from her eyes and she quickly apologized for shutting him down and ended her ramble with saying that she just wanted to live with him.

Their quick turnaround and apologies continued for a rather long time which was followed by some rather interesting activities which displayed the passion they shared for eachother.

At the end of the day they held eachother close and the silk sheets covered them and came with the conclusion after much discussion with George and Carmen who were in a similar situation that they would end up partly in Spain and partly in the UK.

To be honest Fernando could care less where he ended up as long as he was with her.

Over the next week they explored the Spanish countryside and where Fernando grew up before he got down on one knee and proposed to her.

She obviously said yes :) But that is a story for another time