#i can't even remember how it started
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
it's blake's turn for a messy sketch (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
#vitalis au#blake belladonna#strqyr.png#ive been. writing wf backstory stuff for past week#'writing' as in editing and changing my mind ten times over stuff#i can't even remember how it started#but it very quickly turned into 'sienna has to handle three grieving and very angry at the world orphan kids'#so i would say it's going. well.
394 notes
·
View notes
Text
On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Day 2: Timeloop / Xiao Qi and Jiu Ge
I am cringe and I am not even free
Feel free to reuse this idea but 24 hours are not enough for me to finish an entire comic. I could have taken the simpler prompt but nOOOOOO timeloop is too tempting. Past me why are we like this
#svsss#shen jiu#yue qingyuan#qijiu#qijiuweek2024#the basic idea for this was that both yqy and sj remember each loop#the loop started after their individual deaths in PIDW and resets them to close to disciple era#aka the time Yue Qi was in the caves and SJ presumably got away from the Qiu household or was already with Wu Yanzi#I imagine the first few loops they qi deviated so hard from the shock that they didnt even make it like 1 hour in the loop before beingrese#and then had a few loops just fucking around and finding out#eventually they realise that the other has the memories of all loops and so begins the talks and figuring how tf they can get out of this#maybe they resolve their issues with the promise or not your choice tbh#they try different plans and methods#but they keep dying (read: SJ keeps dying first and YQY either dies or sewerslides not soon after) and getting reset with no end in sight#until the last pages where the svsss timeline begins#SJ got replaced with SY and the system isn't letting YQY join him in death or smth nor letting him do anything about SY being there instead#And due to their closeness from being immensily tired from all the loops#YQY notices it immediately but can't do anything about it#the bonus for SY is that this timeline was very kind to LBH & co - 79 figured by now that keeping him in the sect and happy was their best#bet at staying alive - or well at least for longer#I'll continue this storyline in one of the future prompts of this qijiu week#btw the one with the cliff is just the whoopsie daisy timeline where SJ accidentally falls into the Abyss trying to keep LBH from falling i#79 had a bit of a good laugh about that one#cw death#cw violence#cw blood#cw angst
131 notes
·
View notes
Text
just. came across this panel and got unexpectedly and wildly emotional about aizawa becoming a dad. because like. he cares about his students, he's shown time and time again that he'll push them and fight for them against villains and the media and he'll go to his last breath to protect them but like. they're hero students and he's their teacher and he's tough and strict because he has to be to keep them alive. but then like--
it's morning and he's doing her hair. he's got the hair ties with the little baubles on them and he's doing her hair and she's been through so much crap and aizawa's never shown being demonstrably affectionate or enthusiastic around her the way that izuku and mirio are but like. he's been her dependable quiet shadow every time she's shown up in the manga so far, and he doesn't have to be strict or tough with her because what she needs isn't someone to teach her how to save others, it's someone that she can trust to be there when she needs, someone she can trust to do her hair with little bauble hair ties in the morning.
#i'm rambling i'm like incoherent#i'm sorry i literally just got to this panel and started? crying??#it's FINE i have more thoughts but they're all wrapped up in oboro and eri and how they both underwent experimentation that#remade them so much that they can't remember how to want things or like things or smile#and. how both of them are tied so inextricably to aizawa and aizawa doesn't even know about oboro yet at this point#but like. i want those two to meet#and i also want to explore how aizawa's survivor's guilt intersects with this whole mess bc like.#him becoming a dad--like everything else--is in some way tied up in that trauma#i jsut don't have words for it rn#aizawa shouta#eri bnha#tt reads bnha
190 notes
·
View notes
Text
imagine...
...that some things have changed (including some marigold ventures?) and Atlas May is like uh oh both lackadaisy & i are doomed, but if i set up my own death maybe only i'll be doomed and lackadaisy might have to shutter but perhaps more so on involved people's terms, such as mitzi being fine financially, but also if she thinks it's her fault that'll be good for maintaining my posthumous Image to her, perhaps she did some defrauding again? and i'll have mordecai, my trusted & effective gunman, be the one to fatally shoot me, & of course he doesn't want to, but it's Mere Work Ethic time, what's he gonna do besides argue at all maybe, ultimately refuse? (no) and he may hate it but he's not going to want to fully turn on mitzi or anything after because then what would have been the point
#the power of images to incoherently posit my Ideas#can't be concise but Can frame this completely with What If Atlas Did This Thing#if i start with ''so mordecai killed atlas'' there's no time to be like ''not cuz he wanted to; yeah no he wouldn't betray him;'' etc#but see: my tag:#mitzi and mordecai murder mystery#lackadaisy#mitzi may#mordecai heller#i bet that horatio absolutely did not ever do that. chaisis is trying to be a play on crisis btw#bristling fugue moments? don't try to verify it#for the life of me i couldn't find that one specific edit that ends with the ''I Want To Dream....'' dialogue doesn't it lmao. nevertheless#kind of what i meant to make when i ended up drawing Lackabowling & mordico. nicodecai. mordenico. you understand#not sure anyone can understand i'm trying to convey ''if mordecai had to noscope atlas (from afar i bet) a second would pass Very Slowly#from his perspective. how useful if he even has clock sound effect leitmotifs established'' or anything else. have fun be yourself. Post!#corned beef#(ha only now do i remember ''that's completely ambiguous whether it's a second or minute hand'' zoinks#oh well: A Second Feels Like Fifteenish or Mordecai Is Just Standing There Emoji For A Full Minute....either way i guess)
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yuma's unshakable trust in Astral makes me cry every time
#Yuma doesn't even think twice about jumping in and defending Astral every time#He just trusts Astral so much#When Mr. Heartland said that Astral was a bad guy Yuma immediately got angry and started defending Astral#and also with Luna he talked in defense of Astral#and even when Astral started to have doubts about himself Yuma was quick to reassure him#because he knows that Astral is a good person#and no one will change his mind#Yuma is like “Yes I know that Astral is weird and arrogant and sometimes makes no sense but he's a good person and I'm sure of it”#He has no idea about what the Numbers are but he knows Astral and that is enough for him to know that they can't be completely bad#and he is sure that Astral will never misuses them because he knows Astral better than anyone and he trusts him!#he trusts him even when Astral doesn't trust himself#and Yuma's trust is so important to Astral#he remembers so little about himself and doesn't know what he really is but Yuma cares so much about him#to the point that even his “baseless confidence” is enough to reassure Astral#because Yuma's power of believing in people is one of the things that Astral admires and loves the most about Yuma#and Yuma believing in him gives Astral hope that he will be alright#Astral even said that Yuma believing in him without hesitation made him happy#These two make me feel too many emotions#they are everything to me#I will probably talk about these scenes in future posts because I love them#but for now I wanted to have all of them in the same spot#I love this manga so much I want to talk about every scenes of it#(and seeing how much manga posts I have in my drafts that is likely to happen)#astral zexal#astral yugioh#yuma tsukumo#yugioh zexal#yu gi oh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
"I gotta have you talk about Barkov a little bit... 'cuz, you know, he's your Captain but like... What should we know that we don't know about this guy? He's so quiet, he keeps a low profile—I'm sure that's by design—but he's the quietest, incredible superstar that...When Chris Pronger was working there (VP of Hockey OPs/Senior Advisor from 2017-2020), I remember he used to say to me, 'Hey, this guy is a Top 5 player in the game.' Even when nobody was even putting him in the Top 10 at that time, you know? But what makes him so great? What do you know about him now that you thought you knew before you got there?" "You know, well, everything—because I'm with you! I knew he was in the league, I knew he was a great player but playing on the other side—I'd see him play twice a year and I wouldn't watch that much and I had no appreciation for how good he was. But the answer—I'm gonna give you an answer about Barkov and it's not gonna be good enough... 'cuz I can't answer that question about him yet, I still haven't gotten to figure it out. I don't know to do it justice but he's this extreme perfect blend of absolutely no ego and an incredible drive to be better at the same time. So usually the guys that are really driven have a bit of an ego. Ego's not bad always, right? Maybe I'm using the wrong word to describe it but he will put his teammates and his—everything—first, and it won't bother him one bit! That's exactly the way he wants it! He doesn't want to be the first guy out, he doesn't want to—it's not that he doesn't want to do interviews because of the media! Talk to this guy! You walk in our room—you don't know hockey and you don't know names—you can't tell if he's the 1st forward or the 13th forward by the way he treats people. That's absolutely the truth! And the reason he's not appreciated as much as a player is: I have never, ever once seen him even remotely cheat to the offensive side of the game to score a point. He just won't do it. That doesn't mean he's sitting back defensively! He doesn't give a rat's ass about his point totals, he just wants to win. So he's never gonna put the numbers up that he could. If Barky decided he was gonna generate points—if somebody'd convince him, 'Hey, Barky! If you just cheat the game and score—we'd got a better chance of winning!' I don't know, [he'd put up] 120, 130 points? Like he is brilliant but he will never, ever put the game—you know, what? He wouldn't put himself in front of the game. The game demands certain things and you can't get past that no matter how good you are. There are certain things you got to do in this game and usually those are hard things... he'd never once put himself in front of the game." "You can't score 120 or 130 without cheating a little bit, right? It's just a real—" "Yeah, except those guys don't call it cheating! They call it anticipating. Bad players cheat, good players anticipate." "They see things before they happen, Paul! That's what happens!" "Exactly, exactly!"
The Cam & Strick Podcast | 9.24.24 (x)
#paul maurice#aleksander barkov#florida panthers#2425#woe paul waxing poetic about sasha for (looks at stopwatch) almost 3 minutes be upon ye#this specific segment is so special to me#“im gonna give you an answer about Barkov and its not gonna be good enough cuz I can't answer that question about him yet”#PAUL#my favourite thing about all of this is even in a hypothetical situation where sasha suddenly started scoring more points#hed have to be convinced into by a teammate and that its for the good of the team#you see paul realise none of this sounds realistic and then adds the whole hey barky! wed get a better chance of winning if you-#utterly hilarious paul was like this sounds too ooc of sasha i have to fix this#and then drops that fucking bombshell like jfc paulson#sasha no ego my beloved#do you remember when they brought up the whole baby barky thing to paul and he started going on a whole monologue about#how different lundy and sashas games are and that ssha will always ALWAYS put the team first in all his decisions#and lundy differs in that sometimes he'll be more offensively minded if and when he can#yeah? yeah :)#also the anticipating bit#you can tell paul is relaying what players have been whining to him for years when he scolds them not to cheat LMAOOO#LIKE OKAY PAUL YOU ARE SO TIRED HUH#also rat's ass. topical!#he doesnt give a rat's ass about points but he certainly does care about one (1) special rat's ass#also this man monologues for so long i love him but please let me live man
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
my favorite scully moments from s2
after the x-files are shut down, she gets moved to teach at the academy, and in episode 1 she does a little monologue on how a person’s body is a physical manifestation of a lifetime, which one of the students describes as “spooky”
when mulder sneaks off to puerto rico in the same episode, she goes into his place to try and figure where tf he went, and prevents his sneaking about being caught by the investigators who broke into his home with the power of feeding his fish
lecturing about the dangers of eating raw steak in episode 2, then getting lost down a rabbit hole of worm science
when no one was answering the door in episode 3, she just walks in. this made me laugh hysterically, i cannot explain. both of these guys WILL enter your home.
every single time she is a bit of a medical nerd, like when she learns about the surgery that allowed people to survive without sleep in episode 4, which she describes as “incredible”
(and the freckles + flower earrings combo were also a fave)
when she scans the piece of metal that came from duane barry in a grocery store in episode 6, and the cash register goes crazy. and she denies involvement and just walks away LMAOOO <- honestly i'd do the same!!
she wakes up from her coma in episode 8 and wants to write a thank you note to the nurse that took such good care of her, only to learn no such nurse ever existed. scully got to witness the paranormal for once!!!!
in episode 9, someone brings up a volcano scientist in conversation, and she says she had heard he was brilliant, which means that somehow she is keeping up with volcano news. she is a woman of many layers.
being deeply worried about this scared looking grad student she just met, and once again not waiting for an answer to enter her room and figure out if she is okay
(and when said grad student is being consumed by a fungus, scully thinks quickly enough to get herself locked behind a door, keeping herself safe, despite being handcuffed and otherwise looking death by fungus in the face)
in episode 11, mulder walks into his office, only to learn she has been there and has been going through his stuff since 6 in the morning. queen of getting results!
in the same episode, an old man overdoses on mushroom pills, and she shifts into Doctor Mode, yelling about “ventricular fibrillation” and “milligrams of lidocaine” and it was, like every other time she goes Doctor Mode, so deeply satisfying to watch
when she meets the two cops in episode 12, and can immediately tell they are having an affair and that the detective is pregnant, and despite the detective pleading with her not to tell a soul, the absolute MILLISECOND she is reunited with mulder, she spills the tea. and he is SHOCKED! <- arguably my favorite moment in the entire series so far
(and, to make the woman feel more comfortable, she confesses to also having had feelings for coworkers before which. elaborate on that, please)
but she really does care; when the detective ends up in the hospital, scully brings her a change of clothing <3
when she is so shaken by what she sees in episode 13 that she goes to the FBI’s onsite therapist; she’s too scared to tell mulder how she feels because “i don’t want him to feel like he has to protect me”
(as if there was ever going to be a choice; he is the protector and he Will protect, it's just his nature)
((and then later sobbing into his arms, realizing she doesn’t have to always put on a front))
toads start falling from the sky in episode 14, so she rationalizes that they likely came from a nearby tornado. this is a scully-approved theory.
they’re investigating a murder in the same episode, and a teenager starts pouring her absolutely horrific trauma out to both of them, scully holds her while she sobs into her jacket
honestly any time either of them know weird information, i love it. she says that it would take hours for a snake to eat a man and then weeks for it to digest in episode 14, and mulder makes some funny remark but it’s sooo endearing to me. she knows her snake facts.
then in episode 15, she notes poison in someone’s blood, but specifically that the poison comes from pufferfish eaten in Japan… girl i’m crying, she just knows stuff!
during that same case, they get rooms near each other like always, and she knocks on a door thinking it’s mulder’s. he doesn’t answer. she walks in and hears water running, so she just talks to him through the door to the bathroom. and i love this so much. i love that they are close enough to just walk into each other’s rooms and talk from behind the door while the other showers. it’s such married behavior.
working on the case in episode 16, we see her at home wearing a flannel, checking her computer, still serving looks but now giving casual
(and seeing the art she keeps on her walls- little postcards of beach scenes <3)
in the same episode, she knows mulder left to go get himself in trouble, so she bursts into skinner’s office to ask for help. but she feels bad for barging in on skinner, so she apologizes to him. which was very sweet.
when mulder is gone, she goes to his apartment to look for clues, and falls asleep on his couch
(and when X knocks on the door, she knows he is hiding something, and screams at him to tell her where he is)
this whole monologue from episode 17, which i loved more than life itself:
“several aspects of this case remain unexplained, suggesting the possibility of paranormal phenomena. but i am convinced that to accept such conclusions is to abandon all hope of understanding the scientific events behind them. many of the things i have seen have challenged my faith and my belief in an ordered universe, but this uncertainty has only strengthened my need to know, to understand, and to apply reason, to those things which seem to defy it”
(and that is just Her, isn't it? the need to understand, to rationalize. the worldview shaped on science- if she doesn't understand something, it's because a key piece is missing, and she'll find it. because the world Has to work that way, has to be bound by a greater logic, even if it is yet to be understood. to imagine otherwise would be impossible, to imagine otherwise would be to abandon hope in everything, and she cannot abandon hope)
((and maybe the idea that the world being something she cannot perfectly comprehend is a failing of her own understanding makes me a little emotional. but still))
she says that the whole loaves and fishes deal was a parable in episode 21; she is not a biblical literalist
(she then makes some sassy remark about things generating spontaneously, and mulder laughs in the corner. good to know he thinks she is funny)
every single time she answers the phone, she says “mulder, it’s me”, and idk i just think it’s so endearing
she thinks she might have been infected with a killer disease in episode 22, but mulder calls, so she tells him she’s okay and to take care of himself out there.... those are the last words she chooses, just in case they never talk again </3
and every time she says unsettling things, like “could be the residue of burnt human flesh” or “darkness covers a multitude of sins”, both in episode 23, i eat that up
reassuring her student who has just become a detective that she is doing just fine!!!
and then going to said student's funeral when things do not turn out fine... she loves her students that she taught for like 3 months so much :(
getting pulled aside by skinner and her bosses after mulder just acted wild in episode 25, and denying that she had seen any top secret files even though they say they will fire her if she lies lmaooo <- she is a ride or die!!!
but also going to his place, demanding assurance that she is doing the right thing by assisting him, and i love that. i love a character who will break all of the rules as long as they believe they are doing the thing that is morally Right, and that definition is so deeply her own, but she is committed to it, and she'll do anything to stick by it. and he just says something about getting the code that he wants broken, and despite how awful he's being, she goes through with it anyway because it's the Right thing to do.
later, her being the one to realize that mulder should not leave the house after his father was killed because he will be the prime suspect (he does not listen to this sound advice)
he stumbles into her place with a million degree fever, and she carefully lays him down in her own bed, despite the fact that he is soaked in his dead father's blood. and she takes care of him.
this one honestly deserves its own post because it is so incredible, but: shooting mulder with enough precision to get him to knock off his wild behavior that was going to make him look like he killed his dad, but not actually HURT him, then finding out krychek was putting LSD in his water, knocking him out, and driving 2 days to New Mexico to get him where he needed to be. AFTER he had been acting wild because he was inadvertently drugged, and had accused her of spying on him and being a traitor. that level of love is deep. very very deep. she is a Lover.
#this is a reupload because i made a typo on the og post and i couldn't bear it so. v2. sorry to all who witnessed v1.#i'm trying to remember what i had said in the tags originally.#something about how she is just one of the characters of all time#she's smart... like when she figured out how to save mulder from alien poison or that he was going to make himself look guilty#and she's kind- when she let some random kid sob into her jacket and brought the detective clothes and tended to drugged out mulder#and she is brave- being willing to disobey her bosses to do the right thing and shoot mulder to save him and admit when she is scared#(even though she originally would not do such a thing- that is character development)#and she is funny but it's dry and understated so it doesn't get the appreciation it deserves#yes this whole post and tags are just a dana scully love post and that is okay. in many ways this is a love account.#hope to start s3 tomorrow because i'm not feeling well today but who knows... maybe i will suddenly perk up and feel better#and we can get started tn? can't rule it out i guess#dana scully#the x files#txf
35 notes
·
View notes
Note
How do you feel about Jack Drake?? What are your thoughts on him and Tim’s relationship?
Anon, I hope you were interested in a novel, because look, I am fascinated by Jack Drake. He’s key to a whole lot of what I find compelling about Tim as a character, and if I were in charge of DC, I’d bring him back to life. This would make Tim unhappy but would IMO make for good plotlines.
Jack and Tim’s relationship is Complicated (TM)...
Jack and Tim hug in Nightwing 20 / Jack impulsively yanks a TV out of the wall in Robin 45 / Tim grieves in Identity Crisis
“I could tell the truth. But I don’t.” - Robin 66
...and it involves a whole lot of Tim lying, and feeling guilty about lying, and thinking about telling the truth, and choosing again and again to keep lying.
And I think that’s great.
Below the cut:
Shorter version - key points about Jack
Really long version - my gentler take (vigilantism is choir and Jack loves sports) vs. my harsher take (Jack has some major flaws)
Final thoughts
Shorter version - key points about Jack:
He’s a bad parent. He’s self-centered, he consistently prioritizes his own comfort and interests over his son’s, and when upset, he does things like order Tim off to boarding school.
But he’s never a bad parent in an actionable way. He’s not like David Cain or Arthur Brown, who are abusive monsters. Jack’s not a monster! He just...kinda sucks.
He genuinely loves Tim. If Jack’s aware that Tim’s disappeared or is in trouble, he’s always worried and upset. He periodically resolves to be a better dad, and IMO he’s always sincere.
And Tim loves him, a lot. Tim’s protective of him and worries about him when he’s kidnapped or in danger, and when they’re reunited, Tim’s really relieved and usually hugs him (and Jack hugs back!).
...But they have very little in common, and that’s a problem. Jack doesn’t value the things that Tim values, or respect the people that Tim admires, or care about the things that Tim’s interested in. Tim lies to him a lot, but that’s partly because he correctly guesses Jack wouldn’t respond well if he knew the truth of what Tim’s up to.
The Batfamily is a surrogate family that Tim’s drawn to because of the ways his real family doesn’t meet his emotional needs…but also he feels guilty about that and disloyal. (And to the extent that his dad recognizes what’s going on, he's jealous and resentful!)
Very long version:
(LISTEN I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS)
Okay! So first: Jack’s a character who IMO is pretty up for interpretation. You can interpret him very charitably, and make excuses for the bad behavior, and fill in the blanks sympathetically when situations are ambiguous; or you can interpret him uncharitably, and emphasize the bad behavior. I don’t think either approach is invalid - it depends on what kind of story you’re interested in! I have enjoyed Bad Dad stories and also stories that redeem Jack.
My personal take on canon is that Jack and Tim’s relationship is in a gray area. Jack's definitely neglectful, and he does prioritize other things over Tim, but he’s never so bad that Tim can easily reject him, and he's never so bad that Bruce could justify taking Tim away. He's just...not great. Tim loves him, and feels loyal to him, but it’s a very mixed-up complicated love.
I have a gentler take and a harsher one which I switch between as the spirit moves me. xD
My Gentler Take (tl;dr: vigilantism is choir and Jack loves sports)
Here’s the core conflict: Jack and Tim are very different people with different values. Tim idolizes Bruce and Dick and vigilantism, and secretly gets involved, knowing his dad will hate it. He gets increasingly wrapped up in his secret world and lies to his dad...because if his dad finds out, he’ll make Tim quit.
This is a great setup for an ongoing comic. It’s practical, because it provides endless potential for plotlines, and it’s nicely thematic, because it maps closely onto relatable real-life situations with extracurricular activities:
Tim the drama nerd whose dad thinks he’s playing football and not in the school play;
Tim the closeted-queer kid secretly getting involved in his school’s politically-active Gay-Straight Alliance;
Tim the choir kid whose dad only values making money and wants him to go into the family business (and Tim keeps promising himself he'll give up choir soon, definitely soon, but maybe he'll stay in just a liiiittle longer, because they need him, you see, the last tenor left town, so...);
Tim the computer geek with the sports-obsessed dad (this one’s just canon);
etc. etc.
The extracurricular metaphor works pretty well for Tim’s relationship to vigilantism. Tim's involved in his "extracurricular" because he genuinely thinks it's important and fulfilling, and he values it and wants to be good at it. He idolizes Bruce and Dick because they're good at it. He's been collecting information about it since he was a little kid, and hiding it from his parents because he knows they wouldn't approve. And mayyyybe there's also an element of low-key rebellion against his dad, and maybe that's secretly part of the appeal. And yet also as Tim gets more and more invested, he starts to daydream: maybe I could tell my dad and he'd be proud of me and supportive. But he doesn't, because actually he knows his dad would be upset and angry and make him quit.
And - again, just like with lonely kids and extracurricular hobbies - one of the things that happens is that Tim starts getting his unfilled emotional needs met ... by people he knows through this secret hobby. And people like Bruce and Dick start turning into a surrogate family. Which Tim feels guilty about. And also as Tim gets more and more wrapped up in their world, he has to lie to his dad even more, which means the distance between Tim and his dad gets bigger and bigger and more and more unfixable.
I love this dilemma. It's simple, it's recognizable, it provides endless sources for conflict, and there's no obvious solution! Tim can't tell Jack: he'll make Tim quit! And Tim doesn't want to quit, because he loves choir / art / theater / whatever. Yeah, it’s difficult, and there are challenges, and sometimes he has doubts...but at the end of the day, he cares about it a lot. And everything he values is there, and all the people he admires and cares about are there, and all he wants in the world is to feel like he's one of them and belongs there. So he has to lie, even though he doesn't want to lie, and he feels guilty about it...
...but also he ends up lying more and more.
(Sidenote: I think it's important that Tim chooses to keep lying - Tim's narration often glosses this as "I have to lie to my dad," and that's certainly how it feels to Tim, but this... isn't quite true. He has to lie to his dad, because if he doesn't, his dad will get mad at him and try to stop him, not because he literally has no choice about it.)
Other Reasons Why I Like The "Secret Extracurricular" Interpretation
(tl;dr it complicates not just Tim's relationship with his dad, but also all his other relationships)
Tim's problems have some obvious parallels to Steph and Cass, who both become vigilantes while rejecting their evil supervillain dads. But Jack isn't evil. And that means the Tim-and-Jack relationship is ambiguous and complicated in ways that I like. Steph and Cass can just leave their Bad Dads in prison, and say good riddance, and feel very righteous and triumphant about it! Tim’s more complicated. Tim gets into vigilantism ostensibly out of duty and altruism, but secretly, he's also involved for straight-up selfish self-fulfillment reasons. He's lonely, and bored, and his life feels pointless, but he thinks that Bruce and Dick are cool and amazing and he wants to be a part of the things that they do. When his dad gets jealous of Tim’s relationship to Bruce, and feels like Tim’s looking for a surrogate family, he’s... not wrong.
And the ways in which Jack is not Actionably Bad complicate things from Bruce's POV. If Jack was a straight-up villain, it’d be an easy call to keep in touch when Jack finds out and makes Tim quit...but he’s not a villain, not really. So what do you do? Do you try to surreptitiously stay in touch with Tim even though you’re ignoring his dad’s express wishes and thus forcing Tim to sneak around? Do you respect his dad’s wishes and stay away from Tim even though you have a years-long relationship at this point?
Again: a bit similar to the extracurricular analogy. Say you’re the choir director and you’ve built this whole relationship with a kid in the choir, and you’re an important mentor to him and you care about him etc. etc. etc.... and then right before a big performance, his dad finds out he’s been secretly involved, and yanks him out. How would you react? Well, maybe kind of in some of the ways Bruce reacts. You replace him. You’re annoyed with him. You miss him. You want him to come back. You’re also worried about him. You’re upset with his dad. But also... what should you do, exactly?
Bruce and Alfred and Dick care about Tim as if he were part of their family, but he’s not part of their family, and there’s a lot of interesting tension there.
My Harsher Take
Jack never hits his son. But his temper is a big deal.
In his worst moments, he takes out his anger on Tim’s stuff - wrecking his room, or ripping his TV out of the wall and confiscating it. When he’s worried about Tim, he usually expresses that fear by yelling at him / punishing him / sending him away - threatening to send him to boarding school in Metropolis in Robin III, or threatening to send him to military school abroad in Robin 92, or actually forcing him to go to an all-boys' boarding school post-NML.
This is bad behavior! It is Not Good!
And you can easily connect the dots to a bunch of Tim’s terrible coping mechanisms, like the constant lying and or the fact that Tim’s go-to methods for dealing with interpersonal conflict are 1) repress it and pretend it never happened (most of his fights with Bruce), 2) withdraw from the relationship until he can pretend the conflict doesn’t exist (when his friends get mad at him in YJ, he quits the team for a while), or 3) literally run away from home.
Also, Jack is a Manly Man with firm opinions about how men behave vs. how women behave, and he thinks boys shouldn’t be scared and thinks Tim should date hot girls and pushes Tim to work out and wants him to play football and expresses period-typical sexism, etc. etc. etc. ... and though obviously this wasn’t what the writers had in mind at the time, all of that is certainly interesting to read backwards in the light of Tim as a queer character.
More Disorganized Thoughts on Jack Drake
Tim’s our hero, so we’re naturally more sympathetic to him, but it’s also true that relationships are a two-way street, and Tim doesn’t value any of the things his dad values, either. Jack at various points is shown to care about grades, business, money, boarding schools, archeology, football, a kind of macho bragging-about-dating-hot-women ethos, and a very public and performative kind of caring. Tim tends to respond with discomfort or disinterest or even disgust. When Jack gets on TV to try to rally the government to save his son from No Man’s Land, Tim isn’t touched—he’s mortified. When Jack makes some bad investments and loses money, Jack’s deeply upset and his self-image is majorly impacted, and far from being sympathetic, Tim’s annoyed and kind of contemptuous of the idea that this is a problem. Jack thinks fishing in the early morning and going to tennis matches is a fun father-son activity; Tim finds it exhausting and tedious. And so on.
This means that Tim often longs to be closer to his dad in theory, but this longing is more tied to fantasy than to reality. He rarely seems to enjoy spending time with His-Dad-The-Actual-Person. So for example, when Tim’s deadly ill with the Clench, he has an extremely poignant fever dream about telling his dad the truth and getting hugged…even as he insists in real-life to Alfred and Dick that he does not want them to tell his dad what’s going on.
The same is true of Jack, who IMO genuinely wants to be closer to his son and is continually declaring that he’s going to turn over a new leaf and get closer to his son…and just as continually backs out of activities or loses his temper when faced with spending time with his actual son.
Tim and his dad sadly get along best—by far—in Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder situations. When Jack gets kidnapped or is in danger, Tim worries for him (and Tim grieves him deeply when he dies). When Tim disappears or runs away, Jack’s genuinely worried about him. So e.g. they have a really moving emotional reunion and hug when the earthquake hits Gotham, and Tim panics about his dad’s safety and comes running home (and meanwhile Jack’s been panicked about Tim’s safety!). It’s the day-to-day, regular life stuff where they don’t connect.
Jack's written quite differently by different writers. Mostly, Tim's parents are at their least likable in his early appearances and early miniseries (this is where you get, for example, Jack and Janet being nasty at each other while a pained employee looks on, and Tim disappointed to once again get news of where his parents are via postcard - "I guess that sums them up! Never know where they’re going to be–or when–or even how long!” - and Tim alone on school break, and Bruce and Alfred thinking there's something weird going on with Tim's parents, etc. etc.). Jack's more sympathetic but still often unlikable in most of Tim's Robin solo, and he's almost invisible (but positively treated if he does show up) in Tim's team books.
For obvious reasons, Jack's remembered way more sympathetically after his death. Tim's completely devastated by Jack's murder, which he arrives moments too late to prevent, and he basically never gets over it. We see him grieving Jack again and again in Robin, and also in Teen Titans, and also in Resurrection, and again in the Halloween Special, and again in Batman: Blackest Night, and all the way up to the end of Red Robin. Tim also grieves for an extended time over Janet - he hallucinates a happy reunion with her when he's feverish in Contagion, and hallucinates her in the final issue of Robin, and the reveal-your-buried-emotions song in Robin 102 brings up his grief for her too (meanwhile, other characters dance or laugh or otherwise get giddy). Tim’s grief over his parents’ deaths is intense and long-lasting.
I'm not going to clip comic panels because this is long enough, but if you're curious, here's a nice and fairly lengthy compilation of comic panels with Tim and Jack.
If you're interested in a Jack-centric story with a softer-but-still-recognizably-canon take on Jack, I really like the way Jack’s narration is written in the one-shots Heart Humble (set shortly before Jack dies) and Never a Hero (Ra's resurrects him during Brucequest, and Jack's archeology skills turn out to be unexpectedly useful).
#tim drake#jack drake#ask tag#i wrote this ages ago and now i can't remember what i was going to add to it so oh well draft amnesty? sorry for the long wait anon!! <333#anyway i kept this carefully on topic and virtuously did not derail into talking about the other blorbo but tags are for disorganization SO#for me this kinda half-in half-out place where tim is with the batfamily is SUCH an interesting part of his relationship with dick#and i never stop turning it over in my head#he's kiiiinda replaced dick in that he's robin - but in a very real way he *hasn't* - he's NOT bruce's new son the way jason was#and early!tim makes a BIG POINT of how bruce is not his dad#and i think this relative distance from bruce is a huge factor in why dick is able to build a close relationship with tim at all#(because dick's still pretty estranged from bruce!)#and there's such interesting tension there when dick starts jokingly calling tim ''little brother'' or when villains call them brothers#because they're NOT. increasingly they would both LIKE to be brothers! but dick has zero official standing in tim's life#if tim got hit by a car in his civilian identity bruce and dick wouldn't even be able to visit him without his dad's permission#which jack would be pretty unlikely to give! jack doesn't like or trust bruce!#or like. this is morbid. but if tim died. dick wouldn't even be invited to the funeral you know?#and there's such interesting tension there for me in the contrast between this vigilante relationship that's very very close#but in their civilian lives no one would assume they're anything in particular to each other#anyway the 1st half of tim's robin solo has this thread of tension between tim's family life vs. his vigilante life (plus his mom's death)#and then the second half + red robin has the thread of struggling with grief in a world that's not fair + feeling lost/alone#and these two threads are a big part of my interest in tim as a character! jack's the backdrop that makes a lot of stories possible
516 notes
·
View notes
Text
ngl I think I give up on tumblr.
#like i mostly joined to meet people who enjoyed the same interests such as me#as I don't have that many irl#and while I have some amazing mutuals#it's just such a solitary experience as a writer#I get we are all busy but idk it feels very excluding#also don't let me get started on how my writing gets treated#I'll take myself somewhere else#I don't plan on writing any fanfics for the foreseeable future as I plan on focusing on other stuff#but if I do I'll probably only post ao3#much less effort#like today I got two lovely comments while I can't even remember when I last got a comment on tumblr#sorry for always complaining about this but i truly give up#I'll just use this to interact with the few writers I enjoy
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
we all remember how it was cannibalism & then the eroticisim of the machine & then mechs &c &c...
anyways is. is forcefem the next kink in the cycle
#I can't wait until all the jaded ironyposters start complaining abt how forcefem is overplayed#& how you're probably Not Even Into It#anyways this observation comes bc I have seen a lot more ppl joking abt it esp. cis ppl which is surprising#at any rate I'm glad it's getting normalized. it's Really Not My Thing but I remember when it was considered extremely problematic/#for a trans girl to be into something that. upon closer inspection it was perfectly reasonable for her to be into#so like. seeing ppl get all high and mighty abt being a true forcefemmer unlike those posers is gonna be a fun day for me#srry for tag rambles lol
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art.#It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off.#Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways!#There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough'#only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize -#-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*)#And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans.#The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement.#I really can't describe how grateful I am.#Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out.#Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house.#But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants.#I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry.#Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.
903 notes
·
View notes
Text
damn remember when ichigo went full hollow and orihime was terrified of him but when ulquiorra, someone she has only known as a hollow and kidnapped her by threatening to murder all her friends and spent her whole imprisonment intimidating her, asked her if she was afraid of him she said she wasn't
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
LIKE WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT????????
#did he just mindlessly stumble into these parallels#am i really not supposed to think that orihime being afraid of the monster that the guy she's in 'love' with turned into FOR HER#and her not being afraid of the guy who has done NOTHING but MENACE her ISN'T POINTED AND SAYS SOMETHING VERY CLEAR ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIPS#WITH THEM?#DOES THAT NOT PROJECT A VERY CLEAR MESSAGE THAT SHE KNOWS THE SOUL OF ONE AND NOT THE OTHER#THAT SHE CAN'T ACCEPT THE REALITY OF SOMEONE SHE'S ADMIRED FOR YEARS BUT APPRECIATES THE HUMANITY OF A FULL-TIME MONSTER?#ulquihime have a very ''i know i'm a monster but you treat me like a man'' type relationship#this is the pattern of ih scenes they're always Almost romantic lol#ichigo totally losing himself to his darker side in his need to protect her can easily be read as romantic#but then she??? completely rejects him?????????#AND THEN ALL BUT LITERALLY GIVES ULQUIORRA HER HEART!!!!!!!!!#REACHES TO HOLD HIS HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#bleaching#don't get me started about ichigo not administering the final blow with ulquiorra because both he and kubo fucking forgot how zanpakuto wor#ulquiorra could have been purified and gone to soul society and become a regular character but noooooooooooooooo#at least that scene is romantic af#even if AGAIN LIKE I KEEP SAYING an editor needed to be like uh hey sensei. remember. remember what zanpakuto do.#hey sensei. why don't we ever see hollows as souls in soul society. hey.#anyway.
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fans: so, when are you going to give Sunspot/Roberto DaCosta more of his storyline? Like, are you going to accurately depict his blackness and how that impacts him?
Marvel Entertainment:
#tell me i'm wrong#u can't#marvel#marvel criticism#roberto da costa#sunspot#roberto sweetie im so sorry!#they continuously do you dirty time and time again by erasing or whitewashing your blackness#like if he isn't drawn shades paler than what his original debute was in comics#then he lacks any common black features that let's u know he's black (when not stated verbally)#i can't remember what issue it was but he was getting out of water and his hair was curly----SCREAM#but most of the time his hair is....they don't even try#and don't even get me started on the la movies casting bc they do him dirty anyway#x men 97 was decent but ive been hearing things and idk how they'll handle roberto's story 🤷🏾♀️#like he is afro latino#the “afro” in afro latino means something (to many people)#anti marvel
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
12 notes
·
View notes