#i can't believe how much of it i lost in those couple weeks i was sick gatdamn.
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yoongelectric · 4 months ago
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Make the time - CA
summary: after weeks of not seeing each other you decided to surprise your boyfriend on his vacation
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warnings: pet names, p in v, rough sex, oral (both receiving), fingering, edging, doggy, choking
genre: smut, fluff
You had already lost count of how many days it had been since you had last seen Carlos, your work and the tennis season had made it impossible for you to coincide and although your boyfriend had asked you over and over again to go on vacation with him now that the season had ended, you felt a pain in your chest every time you had to say no, your responsibilities were not something you could abandon whenever you wanted, not that it wasn't a tempting idea, your insufferable boss, all the extra hours you worked without being paid enough and the horrible work environment got you closer and closer to quitting.
It was on a cold Monday in January when you woke up to a message from your boyfriend saying good morning and a photo of him lying under the sun on a yacht, his hair just at that length you loves, a pleasure that you could have very few days a year before your boyfriend's barber ruined his brown locks, his skin tanned by the Brazilian sun and the light reflecting on his toned muscles made you start the day with a burning sensation between your legs.
The deep void you felt in your chest from missing your boyfriend so much and this morning when your boss seemed especially irritable formed a tragic mix making you explode and finally quit, you knew you would regret your impulsive decision but at least now you hated your life a little less.
Proud of yourself for the decision you made, you called your boyfriend to tell him, but it went straight to voicemail, you started to think about what could he be doing, swimming maybe? taking a nap? having lunch with his friends? then you had an idea, you would find out for yourself.
Excited by the thought of ​​surprising him, you texted Alvaro asking him to help you out, you bought the first plane ticket to where your boyfriend was, you packed your suitcase full of flowy dresses and tiny bikinis and you headed to the airport.
On his part, Carlos was checking phone all the time. You hadn't answered his calls all day. He knew that it was already nighttime in Spain and he was starting to worry. His friends' attempts to distract him with music and alcohol only managed to piss him off more and just when he was about to call you once again, his brother's voice took him out of his thoughts.
"Carlos, put that phone down, man, look, I brought you a girl to distract you a little" Alvaro's joking tone went unnoticed by Carlos, who was about to tell him to fuck off, but that’s when he saw you
He got up in a hurry and ran to hug you, with so much emotion that he lifted your feet off the ground.
"I can't believe you're here, love, I almost beat the shit out of Alvaro. Did you got days off? How long are you staying?" Your boyfriend began to ask non-stop, in disbelief that he finally had you there with him. He grabbed your face and looked at you for a few seconds. "You're really here, I'm not imagining it." He smiled, hugging you again and making you laugh full of joy
He realized he had been holding you for too long when his friends told him to let you go so they could greet you too.
The night went by peacefully, y’all had dinner, a couple of drinks and lost track of time talking about everything and nothing at the same time, you’d always liked your boyfriend's friends so you only noticed what time it was when you saw that your boyfriend's eyes began to close on your lap while you caressed his hair.
"Carlos, are you sleepy? We can go to bed if you want" your boyfriend nodded his head and you could notice the subtle giggles of those who were still there, to whom Carlos gave a threatening look.
You got up and took your boyfriend's hand who led you to his room, it was small but cozy, with a nice navy vibe to get you into the vacation atmosphere, you felt Carlos's arms wrap around your waist from behind and his lips giving you a kiss on the cheek.
"I missed you so much, dear, thank you for coming."
"I think today's events prove that I was going to go crazy if I went one more day without seeing you" you grabbed his hands and leaned against him enjoying his touch, the relaxation your boyfriend provided made you yawn.
"Let's go to sleep, tomorrow we’ll have the whole day just for us" your boyfriend said smiling at you as he lay down and extended his arms for you to throw yourself on him.
You don't know how long it had been since you fell asleep but your restless boyfriend woke you up. The room felt hot and his breathing was heavy, you moved your hips slightly and felt his hardened member poke your ass.
"Baby, haven't you fallen asleep yet?" You rubbed your eyes trying to get the sleep away.
"sorry, y/n, I didn't want to wake you up, you can go back to sleep" he hugged you again and you heard him grunt as his pelvis touched your hips, your tiredness was dissipating more and more and the only thing you felt was a growing desire for the man next to you.
"Carlos, just say the word and I'll help you that, love" you laughed softly.
"No, beautiful, you're tired, I don't want to bother you, we have plenty of time for that, it's just that having you here in my arms after so long…I just can't help it." He took a deep breath and the air made the hairs on your neck shiver. "I'll go fix it myself."
"You're not going anywhere." You stopped him with your hand on his chest and straddled him. "I'm awake now."
Your boyfriend smiled under you and pulled you by the neck towards him to kiss you hard and passionately, you moaned into his mouth and rocked your hips on him, gently grabbing his hair, you felt his erection in your pussy getting harder and your boyfriend's hands holding your hips and moving you back and forth on his dick.
Carlos moved his hands under your shirt, grabbing your breasts and circling his fingers on your nipples, making the wet patch on your underwear grow by the second.
“carlos, please- just” a moan escaped your mouth as your back arched into his hand.
"shh, love, you have to be quiet, tell me what you want me to do to you" your boyfriend whispered in your ear, going down to kiss your neck, sucking and biting leaving purple marks on your delicate skin.
"You're not doing anything, I want to make you feel good" you said, trailing kisses from his neck to his stomach, your boyfriend's habit of sleeping only in his boxers giving you easy access to his skin, you sucked and licked his toned abs while your hand played with the waistline of his boxers.
"shit, I missed you so much, I'm dying to have your big cock in my mouth" you continued teasing him, kissing his member over his underwear, you felt how your boyfriend pushed his hips against your mouth indicating that he couldn't stand it anymore
"then do it, stop playing with me, princess"
You freed his dick from the confinement of his boxers and watched hypnotized as it hit his stomach, hard as a rock and the tip angry red, the vein that ran along one side swollen from the amount of blood that passed through it and a drop of precum coming out, your mouth watering, licked along his shaft while your hand expertly played with his balls, you looked up meeting your boyfriend's look of pleasure, Carlos looked so handsome like that, lips pursed and his brow furrowed looking at you with lust.
You could only think about making him feel good, so you grabbed his cock with one hand and wrapped your lips around his tip, your tongue drawing circles on it, your boyfriend held your hair into a ponytail but he didn’t push your head yet, he just needed to grab something and see your face clearly.
You pumped your head a few times, your tongue pressing against his length, working to open your throat so you could take more and more of him, until your nose was pressing against his pelvis.
After being there for a few seconds, you let go of his dick, a string of drool connecting your mouth and his member, your thumb gently caressing his slit as you spoke.
"I want you to fuck my mouth, baby, use me however you want, Carlos"
“shit, y/n, you’re going to be the death of me.”
A moan of pleasure escaped from your mouth when your boyfriend pushed your head down his cock, at first he took it slow, feeling how your tongue worked skillfully on him, but when he finally lost control he began to fuck your face without mercy, the only thing you could hear were both of your moans and your gagging, squeezing your throat over his cock.
your boyfriend's face of pleasure turned blurry by the tears that accumulated in your eyes and fell down your face, but you wouldn't have wanted it any other way, you missed so much when your boyfriend used you just the way he liked, being quiet because of the people sleeping in the next rooms had been long forgotten.
your boyfriend pulled your hair to get you off his cock
"shit, love, I need to fuck you, I want to cum in that pussy of yours"
You wiped the drool around your mouth and the tears that ran down your cheeks with the back of your hand and lay down with your back on the pillows.
"damn, so wet just for me, I love you so much, sweetheart"
Your boyfriend ran two of his fingers through your folds, applying pressure to your clit as he leaned down to suck on your nipples, your back arching and your hips thrusting into his hand seeking more friction.
"Carlos, please, more, make me cum, please, I need it" you couldn't think straight, the only thing that came out of your mouth were pleas.
"as you wish, beautiful" without warning the hand on your clit was replaced by his tongue, his hands gripping your hips tightly and pressing you against him.
Shocked by how sensitive you were, you tried to close your legs over his head, but his strong arms stopped you.
Carlos's tongue worked quickly over your clit, sending you over the edge in seconds. You gripped the sheets tightly, and your head leaned further onto the pillows, and just as you felt your climax about to hit you, your boyfriend pulled away from you.
The cry of frustration you left made Carlos laugh.
"not yet, y/n" his hands moved to caress your thighs while he left kisses on your stomach "not so quick, let me enjoy you a little longer"
"we can stay up all night, carlos, but please I need it now" you felt like crying
"oh you can count on us being up all night"
You felt him ease two fingers into your hole in a single movement, curving them inside you and pumping them while pressing down on your stomach, overstimulating you with pleasure, he stretched out his thumb to draw random figures on your clit.
"Come on, make a mess on my fingers, beautiful"
His words like a trigger making you finish on his fingers with a moan of his name, his movements slowed down and went softer waiting for you to come down from your high.
"Fuck me now, I want you inside, love"
"God, woman, you are insatiable" your boyfriend laughed, flipping you so that you were on all fours.
You looked over your shoulder, smiling at him, “and you love me for that.”
Your boyfriend slapped your ass, watching it jiggle hypnotized, leaning in to kiss and bite your cheeks.
"Fucking hell, I'll never get enough of you"
"Carlos, please"
You felt him spread your buttocks with one hand and ran his dick through your folds to collect your juices. eased his cock inside you in one movement and you heard him grunt as he pulled your hair. He stood still waiting for you to adjust to his size
"Move, baby, i want it hard please" the desperate look you gave him making him lose all control.
Your boyfriend began to slam his hips onto you, slow but hard, making you feel every inch, the grip on your hip and the slaps on your ass surely leaving marks that you would have to cover tomorrow.
Your moans and his grunts were the only thing that filled the room as the two of you seeked your orgasms.
"Carlos, I'm so close"
At your words, Carlos pulled you towards his chest by your neck, choking you just right and drawing circles on your bundle of nerves.
"Then come for me, I want to feel you finish on my cock, princess"
the way you grabbed his thigh and your walls clenched on his member made him cum at the same time as you, filling you with his seed.
"God, thank you, I love you, you are the love of my life" you heard your boyfriend whisper in your ear as he squeezed your breasts and slowed down his thrusts.
Your boyfriend pulled away, and after quickly cleaning you up, and lying down he hugged you from behind.
"I missed you so much, you don't know how happy I am that you're here" Carlos said as he gave you kisses on your shoulder.
too tired to answer you just smiled at him and held his hand, falling asleep in seconds.
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profundcherrylady · 6 months ago
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SINGLE DAD!SAE ITOSHI
A/N: This isn't my usual content, but I was thinking about this scenario and I had huge baby fever so I couldn't NOT write it. I love Sae too much y'all. Also sorry for any spelling mistakes english ain't my first language.
Warnings: Mentions of death and grieving, Sae tries forcing his daughter to either eat her vegetables or go to school hungry (he doesn't go through with it)(this is a very brief scene but it could still be triggering to some people). STILL MOSTLY FLUFF I SWEAR.
Contents: Sae being a girl dad fr, y'all can't change my mind on this one, also Rin being an uncle. That's pretty much it. A little ooc (Rin mostly)
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"Papaaaa" Mao complained, her voice echoing across the house and making Sae drop the dishes he was washing and walk across the house into her room to see what was going on... this time. Although he had a pretty good idea given her recent tantrums.
"Can't sleep?" he inquired, but he knew the answer as soon as she saw her curling up in her little bed and pouting, her doe teal eyes looking up to him as if to give him pity. "No, Mao, you cannot come sleep in my room."
"Why not?!"
"You've already been sleeping there all week... come on, you're a big girl, you can sleep on your own room."
"But I wanna be with you..." he sighed. It had seemed she had inherited his stubbornness, because sometimes it felt like there was just no way of making her change her mind when she was set on something. He leaned against the door a little, thinking about what to say that may change her mind.
"I know I was away for a while the last couple of weeks and I understand you missed me, but I can't have this conversation with you every single night."
"Why do you go away in the first place..."
"You know why, I have to for work." he countered, "And do not ask me why I can't bring you along, we've talked about this countless of times before. I don't go away for fun. If I bring you with me, you'll want to go everywhere with me and then you'll get fussy and mad because I'll be working all the time, or worse, you'll get bored to death in the hotel. Believe me, staying here is best for you when I go on business trips."
"But I just wanna be with you!!" his eye almost twitched in annoyance at the sight; he knew that tone of voice all too well. It was another tantrum coming his way, but still, he tried to remain calm for her sake.
"You're with me now."
"So can I sleep in your room?"
"No." then she threatened to start crying. He let out a low, defeated huff, holding back the urge to roll his eyes. She just wasn't giving up, was she? Pushing himself off the doorframe, he looked back at her before speaking. "Fine. Come on."
"This is the last time." he knew damn well that was a fat lie, but he still had to at least pretend to be firm. She would grow up to be a spoiled child otherwise, or at least that's what he was used to tell himself.
The little girl beamed, quickly jumping out of bed and running towards her father. She hopped with her arms up towards him asking to be carried, to which he complied. He wrapped his arms around her small frame and lifted her up, watching as she clung onto him as if he just came back from war or something. Could he really blame her, though? She had lost her mother and he was away all the time; it would be strange if she wasn't feeling lonely.
"Papa, sing me a song." Sae reconsidered his life decisions for a moment there, not gonna lie, but how could he honestly say no to those pleading eyes?
"Fine..." he sighed, his voice soft and low as he began humming whatever song he could think of on the top of his head. Still keeping a secure hold on her, Sae began rocking his daughter to further lure her to sleep. He held her with one arm so that he could close the door of her room, the soft click assuring him that everything was in order, and then started walking a few steps towards his.
By this point, little Mao was sound asleep on his arms, and he almost chuckled at the thought of his daughter refusing to sleep until she was with him. He carefully opened the door a few meters away and walked quitely to the bed, trying his best to not wake up the sleeping child on his arms, and set her down to rest. Once tucked in and comfortable, he let out a sigh of relief. Finally, the brat was asleep and he could be at peace. She could be so clingly and energetic sometimes... not that he cared that much, even though her restlessness was exhausting, it showed that she felt safe and loved enough to be her enthusiastic self around him without any regrets.
It was weird to him, like an unfamiliar sense of pride that surged at the sight of her young daughter bouncing around and playing endlessly. He would often look at her and think about how different her personality was from his, and how much it reminded him of her mother. Sae tried not to though, as he despised comparing his daughter to his late wife over and over again, but sometimes he just couldn't help it. From the way she smiled to the color of her hair... they were just so alike each other. He still kept all the memories from her close to his heart, which in a way made him feel guilty. Sae knew just how much his daughter yearned for a maternal figure; someone to talk to and educate her about girly stuff that he may not understand. He would watch her staring at the other kids with their moms and act like it really wasn't a big deal to avoid making him feel like he wasn't enough, but Sae knew better. It was obvious to him that his daughter absolutely adored him, and he was sure she thought he was enough, but he also knew that she missed having a mom. She missed her mom. He missed her mom too.
Normally he would avoid talking about it. It had been hard enough trying to explain to this small child that her mom wasn't coming home that night, or ever, let alone process his own grief at the loss of the only woman he once loved. If he cried, he had to do it when his daughter wasn't looking, because the last thing he needed to add to his worries was worrying his daughter to the point of avoiding everything that may set off a bad mood on him. It wasn't her fault, he just felt his heart break everytime he took her home and she pointed at a framed picture of her mom exclaiming 'Mama!' Or 'Hey mama', 'I'm back, mama', 'Miss you, mama'. He would hold back his tears and take a deep breath whenever she tried asking if she could visit her mom in the place she was at (as he initially had told her it was a place where she couldn't come back), having to explain carefully that she couldn't. She would get mad and ask why a bunch of times, but he didn't have the heart to tell her 'She's dead' straight up. He really tried to just give her an excuse like that she was sleeping forever or something, as if she was in the sleeping beauty, but then she just began asking if a true love kiss from him would wake her up. She was a child, after all, and she hadn't quite grassped the concept of death yet.
He let himself watch her sleep for a few moments, sinking in the stillness of the night. Taking care of a young child made this moments rare, and he treasured whatever rest he could get. He reached out to the nightstand and picked up the heater remote, pressing a couple of buttons to turn it on a bit; just enough to keep the room warm, as he knew nights at that time of the year could become fairly cold and he didn't want his daughter getting sick. And as expected, she got very evidently more comfortable as the room became warmer, falling into a deeper state of sleep. She had only carried her favorite bunny plushie from her room to hold onto and apparently that was all she needed to fall asleep. He plopped himself onto the bed as well and fell asleep almost instantly from the exhaustion of the day, not even caring about closing the door or the half-washed dishes he left on the sink or even the fact that he hadn't even changed his clothes. He was DONE for the day.
Although, the next day he most definitely regretted it.
He had to wake up early and finish cleaning all the mess his daughter had left throughout the day, plus now he had to make breakfast, wake her up and get her to school. Sae was a rather organized person and he would normally not find himself in this type of situation, but it seemed like ever since he became a father he was running short of time for everything no matter how much he tried to plan in advance.
"Morning." Sae greeted his still somewhat sleepy child as she yawned and climbed the chair infront of her to eat. "Slept well?"
"Mhm..." Mao mumbled, rubbing her eyes with one arm while she still clung to her favorite plushie with the other. He placed a plate on the table for her and then one for him, along with his usual morning coffee and the only damned brand of juice that she liked for some reason and that he had to drive for an hour to buy.
"Come on, eat. You have preschool today."
"Can't I skip? It's snowing so muuuuch." the kid dropped her head onto the table and sighed, clearly displeased about going to school.
"Apparently it's not snowing enough to cancel your classes. Now, please, eat."
He watched intently as his daughter took a close look at the food, pouting and feeling now rather down since she wasn't allowed to skip school. She took a couple of bites of her breakfast and she had a few sips of her juice, then she pushed her plate a little to indicate she was done.
"Thanks for the food." she was about to get off the table when she was interrupted by her father's stern voice.
"Not so fast. There is no way you're full with just that."
"Yeah I am..." such an obvious lie.
"Why aren't you eating? And I want the truth."
She pouted, AGAIN, before reluctantly giving an answer.
"It has green peppers on it..." and there you have it; this was the real challenge of Sae's day.
"I told you, they're good for you."
"But they're gross! Can I eat something else please?" this is Sae's life now. Even winning a soccer match was easier than getting his daughter to eat her vegetables.
"Mao, I spent a lot of time making breakfast for you, can you please finish your food? You still need to get ready to go to school. I don't have any time to make you more breakfeast; I have to go work."
"But... I really don't like them... please?" that was the last straw for him. He didn't mean to sound cruel, but he was tired and didn't know what else to say.
"Mao Itoshi, you're staying on this table until the last bite of food on your plate is GONE. If you don't, you'll go to school hungry and I'm not making you anything else after I pick you up. You are eating this one way or another." he almost instantly regretted the harsh tone of voice he had used, as he saw his kid's eyes begin watering. He passed his hands through his face in exasperation, took a deep breath, and walked around the table to pick her up. He exhaled, trying his best to remain calm before speaking to her again, as he could feel Mao's tears on his clothes and the little shudders she made at the effort to hold back tears. Sae patted and passed his fingers through his daughter's hair in a poor attempt to soothe her, but the damage was already done. She was holding thay bunny plush in her arms like a lifeline. "Sorry, okay? I didn't mean to be so hard on you. I woke up early to make your breakfast and you just took a few bites of it... I got frustrated, but that wasn't a reason to force you to eat something you don't like. I'm just saying, green peppers aren't the end of the world; they can be tasty."
"I guess I can eat them..." he sighed.
"No, you'll just be eating them out of guilt. You shouldn't do things you don't want to just because you're afraid of someone's bad mood." he thought for a moment. Mao eating the green peppers wasn't the ideal result now, she was hurt and vulnerable and that would only teach her that she should fear and comply which wouldn't end well on the long run... still, he did spend his time making her breakfast and didn't want it to go to waste. "Tell you what. I'll eat the green peppers for today, if you promise you'll at least try them next time, and I'll find another recipe to try to make them taste better. Sound good?" she nodded, still hiding her face from him by pressing it against his clothes. "Good. Now, I really don't have more time to make you more breakfast, so let's pick out the stuff you don't like just this once, and only this one time. I seriously need you to try to learn to eat your vegetables."
"...'kay."
"Let's hurry then; you still need to get ready for school."
Sae for sure was missing having some help on the raising of his daughter. He would never admit it though, he would try and pretend parenting was the easiest thing in the world when in reality he was fighting for his life everyday trying to shape this little human into a good person, and refraining from helping her while she failed at tying her shoe countless of times before admiting she didn't know how to do it (this is why he only buys her velcro).
He left the tiny sparkling pink shoes on the ground as he heard the doorbell, then looked at the clock hanging from the wall nearby. 8:14am, who in the world was it this early? Sae indicated his daughter to stay still on the couch before walking towards the door, and right after seeing the face on the other side he furrowed his eyebrows in surprise.
"Rin? What are you doing here?" his little brother then proceeded to push him aside and step inside as if it were his own house.
"Move, I didn't come here for you." his eyes traveled the room and eventually fell on the little girl sitting on the couch, and in a blink of an eye he had lifted the little girl up and hugged her tightly. Despite her surprise, she could obviously recognize her only favorite uncle.
To everyone's surprise, Rin absolutely adored his niece. Sure he had problems with his older brother but he didn't have to take it out on an innocent child that had done nothing to him. Besides, she was so adorable and bubbly and so NOT like Sae. Rin sometimes would stare at her in amazement, wondering how it was possible that this was truly Sae's spawn; yet the teal eyes and lower lashes were unmistakable. She was an Itoshi alright.
"Umclw Rwin!" her voice came out muffled, as she was currently being burried on his chest, but the sentiment was there.
"What are you doing here?" Sae was straight to the point, not caring about his cold tone of voice this time. And he says he doesn't have favorites.
"I just came back from my morning run." the younger Itoshi explained, still not looking at him in the eye. "Thought I'd stop by to say hello."
"To her."
"Yes, I didn't want to talk to your pathetic-"
"Language."
"Shut up."
"Don't hug her when you're still sweaty and gross, she just took a bath." he continued scolding Rin, earning a groan of frustration from him.
"Your dad is so annoying." his niece giggled at the obvious beef between his dad and uncle. She didn't really understand it but it was funny from her point of view. "Such lukewarm rules he has."
"Lukewarm!" she repeated.
"Rin, stop teaching her those words. Mao, say bye to your uncle; we have to get you to school."
"Awwwwww, can he come with?"
"Fine, whatever will get you to actually go to school. Rin, let's go."
"Don't boss me around." he complained, walking with his niece on his arms towards the door and setting her down. "Let's put on our shoes, shall we?" he took the shoes Sae had set down earlier and helped the kid put them on with ease. Of course, he had dealt with this countless of times before. Sae had the bad habit of using him as a free nanny for whenever he had to travel, which was often.
"Uncle Rin, how do you go running with all this snow? It's so cold!"
"When you run, you sweat and then it doesn't feel so cold." he finished tying the kid's shoelaces and took her by the hand, then Sae picked up a scarf wrapped it carefully around her neck.
"Don't take it off." he warned, watching as she began squirming to get away from the scratchy scarf. "It's cold out, I don't want you getting sick."
"Okay, papa." he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before taking her free hand and not so subtly making Rin let go of her as he finally opened the front door. They were quickly hit by the cold winter air, and Mao shuddered a little at the sudden change in temperature.
Stil, Sae made sure his hand was holding hers tight and that she kept herself on his field of vision. There would be someday in the future where she wouldn't need him to hold her hand; he had to treasure these moments and not let her go while he still could.
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multi-fandom-lunatic · 4 months ago
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I just seen your post on JKR and then Rick Riordan, oh my gosh, where do I even start?
Sit down, I've brought the tea.
So I'm in my 30s, and as you may guess, I was reading Percy Jackson as the books were being published. I joined, I think, just as The Last Olympian came out. I was definitely here for The Lost Hero, and considered myself a longtime fan by then, so, as you may guess, I was in the fandom for quite some time.
I bore witness to everything Rick Riordan did, from fan harassment and bullying to racist remarks he made about his characters. I watched firsthand as he posted how happy he was with the movie casting choices as they slowly came out.
I was watching Supernatural at the time; it was the season where Michael and Lucifer were squaring off, Jake Abel was there, so Season 5 (it ended at Season 15), and I was happy that someone I knew was playing Luke.
Anyway, he was very happy; he would make posts about shooting, being on set. He only started openly hating the movie AFTER it flopped at the box office... I guess it didn't give him the fame and fortune he had expected? Shines a new light on that hate, doesn't it?
I haven't checked in a very long time, but I believe he has deleted those early blog posts where he praised the movie and the sets, taking pictures with the cast and saying they were all perfect. He even said Jake was exactly how he had pictured Luke. Come to think of it, he has buried his blog, as it is not at all easy to find anymore after the whole incident with that blog post on Gaza/Israel.
When I heard he was now making a TV show, I watched him and the cast carefully. The TV show seems to be a slight success, so he's very happy to praise and support it. But what if it flopped?
He would be slagging them all off. I think a lot of actors were put off Percy Jackson on disney as his reaction to the first movie was so unprofessional and he enjoyed letting everybody know how much he hated it.
Back to the fans now, I saw Rick Riordan every week blocking fans, then posting their usernames and pictures/screenshots of what they had said to be blocked by him. The majority of them were young fans telling him they had watched the movie and liked it. He was posting pictures of little kids' profiles and sending his fans out to hunt them down online and harass them. It happened all the time and he enjoyed it so much he even made a Q&A about it on his website (since took down) he knew about the fans bullying other fans too, he openly encouraged it.
I was actually one of the first people to start a Rick Riordan call-out group; this was when I was about 19 or 20. I was documenting his toxic behaviour back then, that was before the problematic aspects of his books came to light. The man has been vile for a very long time.
I am quite happy running a tutorial blog for gifs right now, but if I had the time, I would start a blog with all of my old content back. Sadly the older stuff is lost as it was on my original blog which has been dead for years, but anybody else around 30 who was online during the fandom's original run can tell you how much of a jerk he is. We used to call him Uncle D*ck and a friend of mine actually messaged him with a list of everything problematic he was doing.
He turned very nasty.
The nice guy act is just that, an act. His new Rick Riordan persona came out maybe four years ago now?
There's a reason he posted a lame ass post about harassment in book publishing and how he's going to self reflect upon his own actions when his buddy James Dashner was exposed a couple of years ago. There's a reason he ran from Twitter and there's a reason now why the official Percy Jackson book twitter is often set to private/public without replies... he can't hide his true nature much longer and people are once again waking up to him.
I would not allow my kids within feet of Percy Jackson, that's toxic shit right there.
Oh my goodness. That's some toxic shit right there.
I'm became a PJO fan in early 2023, for context (literally by reading Solangelo fanfiction) and I am beyond disappointed in other PJO fans for ignoring this and myself for not doing adequate research.
The whole movie/show drama is very interesting, definitely did not know about how he began hating it AFTER it flopped. Like, I've always seen it played as him hating it because its book accurate.
But it makes more sense this way. Honestly, I watched the show when it came out and it's not very book accurate at all. I've been scratching my head wondering why he was so kind to it when it was not even that good. But now it makes sense.
Thanks for telling me, anon. Good to know about this, sad it had to be this way.
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realcube · 1 year ago
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WRATH & LUST . t.kei / y.tadashi
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synopsis ✧ you hate tsukishima kei. you do everything in your power to make his life miserable but nothing works. now you have no choice but to fuck his best friend
cws/tags ✧ college au , enemies to enemies who screw, cursing, slut-shaming (both ways)
parts ✧ i. ii. iii. iv.
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your friends call it 'inexplicable hatred', 'misdirected anger' and 'envy' but they couldn't be more wrong.
your feelings towards tsukishima kei were completely rational in your mind. he carried himself as though he was better than everyone and treated those around him like filth, yet he's still tolerated and his shitty attitude is even deemed charming by some self-loathing girls at your college.
it irritates you to no end how he behaves. too cocksure and too sassy; no dignified man should never act in such a manner, you believe. you could go on about other reasons you dislike him — his style atrocities and his punchable face, to name a couple — but you shan't.
you intended on going about your life, simply hating him from afar as you didn't see the need to stir up petty drama. but he made it impossible for you to do so.
one day he was sat behind you in a maths lecture. the seats are tiered so he is slightly higher up than you are. while making notes, his pen slips out of his hand and tumbles forward, landing somewhere under your desk.
you do the polite thing by making an attempt to search for it, but it is dark under the table you can't seem to find it.
a couple moments pass, and he remarks lowly, "are you just going to stare it?"
white hot rage courses through you at his comment. what ever happened to 'please'? to 'would you mind'? you were about to do him a favour by fetching his pencil and he still has the audacity to be snarky.
fuck that, he can pick up his own damn pen. you leave it alone and try to focus on the lecture.
you make it through the whole thing without him bothering you again, probably using a spare or borrowed pen. once the class has been dismissed, you gather your things and wait for the people in your row to start filtering out so you can leave, that is when you feel a gentle tap on the shoulder.
you turn around and lock eyes with a tan, freckled boy with mousy brown hair, he wears an awkward smile and point to your desk, "excuse me, my friend dropped his pencil and i think it landed under your desk. could you get it, please?"
his voice is meek and demeanour similar to that of a shy puppy, which is why it almost pained you to scoff at him and say, "tell your friend to stop being such a cunt, then maybe."
you rush out of the door, keen to get as far away from those two boys as you can. yet as you leave you hear the blonde's voice mutter in your wake, "what a moron."
after marinating on the situation during the retelling to your friend group, and a group vote, you came to the conclusion that perhaps your response to yamaguchi — you learned his name from one your friends — might have been a bit severe. but in your defence, you were peeved by the comment tsukishima had made prior.
it's as though manners and etiquette are totally lost on him.
ೃ⁀➷
two weeks passed since your last little altercation with tsukishima, and you were proud to say you haven't been involved in any conflict with him since then. mostly making snide remarks in passing or exchanging dirty looks in the hall.
however, that all changed when your professor was late to one of your classes. they expressed in the past that they prefer students to wait outside the lecture theatre when they aren't present, so naturally this caused many people to be clogging the hallways.
there was a long queue of people waiting to enter, you stood far away from the door, while tsukishima and yamaguchi happened to be standing opposite. you couldn't help but notice the outfit tsukishima had on: skinny light brown trousers with a black belt, and a pressed short-sleeve white shirt, that was a bit see-through.
you didn't know much about this guy but from his slightly toned figure, which was made apparent by his choice in clothes, you could tell he does some sort of sport. probably basketball, considering how tall he is, but maybe golf. he acts like a golf player.
lost in thought for too long, your finally yanked out of your own internal monologue by a familiar voice snapping, "what are you staring at?"
you blink, and before you even have time to process what he just accused you of, you blurt out, "has anyone told you that you're dressed like a slut today?"
yamaguchi must slap a hand over his mouth to suppress his burgeoning laughter. tsukishima's eyes narrow at his friend's offensive display, before they snap back to you and he argues, "really? me? i'm dressed appropriately. take a look at what you're wearing."
he motions to your outfit: jorts and a tank top. maybe not the most stylish choice but definitely not as whorish as his attire. "it might be more revealing but still not as slutty as you."
he rolls his eyes like what you said was contradictory, wearing smug smile. he wants you to believe what you said is nonsensical and 'proved his point' but all it does it anger you to no end.
not fond of his facial expressions, you retort, "don't pull stupid faces and play dumb. you're already dumb enough as is, so it isn't a very becoming look on you."
with furrowed brows, he opens his mouth to say something, but you cut him off, "and i can see your chest through your shirt. no one wants to see that!"
"you say that while your tits are out, have some self-respect."
"at least i have tits. you're wearing a short sleeve to show off the muscles you don't even have!"
yamaguchi is thoroughly entertained by this squabble, which is why it pains him to chime in, "uh, tsukki. the lecturer is here, let's go."
as much as he wanted to get the last word in, tsukishima glances between tadashi and the empty halls before he decides his education is actually kinda important and begins to make his way inside the theatre. it was good timing because he didn't have a witty response anyway.
your heart is beating rapidly, though you're unsure why. you gaze at the empty walls for a minute to collect yourself before heading into class as well. you totally won that fight, is what you tell yourself.
ೃ⁀➷
ever since the disagreement you had with tsukishima in hallways of the maths building, what was once comments and glares has escalated to threats and insults being made boldly in each other's face.
despite the fact you ate him up the first time, you've been on a losing streak since then. you feel as though nothing you say gets under his skin anymore.
you've tried belittling his face, his smarts, his personality, his mother but nothing seems to work. you even tried to ridicule his glasses but that didn't work either!
"hey, four eyes!"
"hey, five guys."
what the fuck? you weren't sure if that was a dig at your diet, your weight or your quantity of sexual partners but regardless, you could not let that slide.
verbal abuse wasn't working so naturally the next option was physical. you attempted to trip him in the halls but his legs were so long he stepped over you without even noticing. you attempted to pour milk over him but tadashi noticed and pulled him out of the way. you considered pushing his knees while he was standing in front of you but you realised that if he fell backwards his weight would crush you and you'd probably die.
all of that was so elementary and childish though; high school bullying at best. you need college level bullying. you thought about planting weed in his bag and calling the campus police on him but your friends said that was 'too far'. you thought about leaking his nudes but firstly you don't have them and secondly, he's already walking around college half naked anyway so he likely wouldn't be phased by it.
the hard thing about trying to torture a boy like tsukishima is you don't know enough about him to know what will truly drive him insane. you know he cares about his grades but sabotaging his test scores is beyond your means. he doesn't have any dignity so you can't humiliate him. even if you tried, his little gremlin of a best friend would probably catch onto you anyway.
that green haired boy was just as bad as his handler. always gawking at you to make sure you don't try anything; literally glued to tsukishima's ass at all times — it's so gross. and it gave you the most disgustingly perfect idea.
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genericpuff · 11 months ago
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This plot point annoyed me so much! I thought she was finally going to open up to Persephone about the reasons why she hated Hades so much, about what he did to her, but no! They just introduced a new yet unnecessary character to the story 🤦🏼‍♀️
What are your thoughts about it?
oh yeah it annoyed the piss out of me too and for one very big reason that is CHRONIC in LO:
It's a solution to a problem Demeter didn't have.
This happens to a lot of characters throughout the comic. They'll have some kind of plot-driven conflict or character-driven flaw, and then it will be solved by something else entirely that had nothing to do with their original problem or doesn't line up with the theme of their storytelling. Minthe had insecurity issues and a toxic relationship with Hades? Just give her a classroom full of children to babysit! Hades had infertility issues? That's fine, Persephone somehow fixes those issues because at the end of the comic they have babies and Hades has his happy ending so it's fine! Hera was in an unhappy relationship with Zeus and had trauma from her past as a victim of Kronos? No problem, just make her an all powerful fertility goddess! Persephone accidentally causes winter which kills possibly thousands of people? Gaia is here to save the day, and also she's the one who makes Persephone return to the Mortal Realm for a couple months with full visitation rights. Apollo is a serial rapist who's attempted murder on several occasions, even against his own father in an attempt to take the throne? Community service, that'll solve it.
Demeter is one of the biggest examples of Rachel's inability of writing an actual cohesive plotline. She writes like the only goal is to come up with new twists to keep people reading each week without ever considering what themes or questions she should be answering throughout. So when she does pose questions, the answers often wind up being severely disconnected because she can't be bothered to actually plan out a plotline with narrative structure, she just needs 'things' to happen. To put it bluntly and simply, she writes like how a 13 year old on Wattpad would write, no actual thinking about the material she's presenting, no consideration for the curtains and what color they are, just "make the things happen so that people will keep reading because that's what writing is!"
Demeter's problem wasn't her failing to understand Persephone. It was people failing to understand her when she had reasonable cause to both be wary of Persephone moving to Olympus as well as Hades and his intentions with her daughter. But because Rachel needs to have the perfect happy ending for her self-insert power fantasy couple, she resorts to gaslighting both Demeter as well as the audience by extension into believing that the solution to Demeter's character arc... is understanding Persephone more.
Like first of all, the moral "people just want to be understood" is way, WAY too "baby's first storyline" at this point in the story especially when we've tried to tackle much bigger topics like sexual assault, and when we know how complex Demeter's backstory is. There's no way she needs to be told by Hebe that people just want to be "understood". She absolutely knows this already, and has been fighting to be understood by her siblings and peers and family for centuries, but of course, everyone sees her as just "the contrarian".
But then the final solution is... the sudden appearance of Demophoon as her long-lost child, and Hades giving her the volcanoes. That's it. She doesn't get to actually become Queen of the Mortal Realm, she never really gets closure over the past 2000 years of abuse from everyone around her, Hades just - like with everyone - buys her affection and she gets a new baby to pour her attention into instead of Persephone and we're all just forced to go along with it for the sake of Rachel's fantasy.
Rachel can't write (¬_¬;)
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redgoldblue · 6 months ago
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so assuming Avery is actually pregnant / doesn't early-trimester miscarry (which is not a given), there's two reasonable ways this can go, right. number one is she gets an abortion, the plotline is used to pull them all back together again, and they all have some collective hurt/comfort about it. number two, the one i would write - don't get me wrong, i'm all for women getting career-driven abortions, but hear me out - is the one where she does have the baby. under the cut bc it got long.
she goes to med school at first while pregnant - Max is right, it can be done, people in my cohort did it - and either gets lucky with the timing of the actual birth being during holidays, or just works her way to getting time off for a few weeks around it. And then... there's a baby. And you know what else there is? There's two dads (because we're 100% Mamma Mia-ing this bitch. they never find out who the bio dad is and they never seriously try. Baby comes out with Avery's exact skin tone so that's no clue.), and an entire cruise ship worth of backup babysitters. So Avery goes back to med school, and leaves the baby with Tristan and Max.
And, yes, raising a baby while also running an infirmary with a rotating cast of temporary substitute nurses filling Avery's role isn't the easiest thing they've ever done, but Robert loves fulfilling grandparent duties any time he's not on duty; Rosie gets one of those strap-on baby carriers and walks her (i don't know why i've decided the baby is a her but i have now) around the engine room pointing out parts and explaining concepts and hey, the baby never complains about her Michigan stories; Corey gets a cart and a bundle of clean sheets and pushes her down the corridors until the smell of laundry powder automatically makes her start laughing.
Max and Tristan make a pact to send Avery at least two photos a day - which ends up getting supplemented by everyone else who's with Baby - and FaceTime her most days, and whenever she gets a few days off she meets them in port. (The most expensive part of baby-raising ends up being her flights to wherever the Odyssey happens to be at the time, at least until Robert finds out and figures out a way to start paying her 'maternity leave', despite her insistence that the whole point of this is that she isn't maternity-leaving and he should probably be paying himself that and anyway, isn't she technically not an employee right now?)
And the thing is, during this time, Max and Tristan start... realising some things. Like how neither of them feel like they've lost their only partner, because they.. haven't. Like how the co-parenting's been working out better than either of them expected, because they fell instantly (minus a few minor bumps) into a shared rhythm. Like how sometimes they look at the other one holding Baby and feel like their heart's about to explode.
Also, they've both started sleeping in Max's bed. Because Baby's spent so much time sleeping in the corner of the infirmary that now if she wakes up at night and can't see both of them, she starts crying inconsolably. And obviously Max's suite is more suited to multiple inhabitants, and they're usually too damn exhausted to even remember the first time they were in this bed together.
(usually. most of the time. and when they're not, they don't make it the other's problem)
So at the end of the first year of this, the last two days of the year's last cruise have been packed with crisis after crisis after demanding patient after crisis, and as soon as they finally wave the last passenger off they hand Baby gratefully over to Robert and go crash out in Max's bed.
Avery was supposed to be meeting them on board tomorrow, but her last exam gets unexpectedly moved up by a day (believe me, med school loves to pull that kind of shit on you), so a couple hours after the passengers have gone, she shows up to surprise them. And finds Robert (a known ody3 shipper) first, who lets her take Baby with minimal captainly sulking about it, and while she rocks and kisses Baby, tells her (as a known ody3 shipper) that the two dads will be on the Pelican deck, but they're probably asleep.
Avery kinda frowns at him, but doesn't question it, and takes Baby up with her to Max's suite to find them. And they are both fast asleep, on either side of Max's bed with a space carefully preserved between them (because it's usually where Baby would be and they're both terrified of accidentally rolling onto her in the middle of the night). She's also exhausted after exams, so she crawls into it, lies on her back with Baby on top of her chest, and goes straight to sleep.
Tristan and Max wake up before her, and when they look across at each other, at Avery and Baby between them, they both simultaneously realise, oh. oh. oh, this - this three, two-and-half, four people, all together - this is it. this is the love, this is the children, this might even be the home - the second, third, fourth bucket list items to happen in this bed.
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rekino2114 · 5 months ago
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Yooo~ I loved the Veronika full alphabet so let's go with our favorite despair queen Junko enoshima Full alphabet~
Junko enoshima fluff alphabet
A/n:Since I already did some letters for her, I'll just copy those. Also, I went full despair au mode for junko because soft yandere despair junko is best junko
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🛍A=affection(how affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Junko is incredibly affectionate with you. She literally can't go five minutes without touching you in some way, hugs, headpats,kisses, everything is free game as long as it's some form of affection. She doesn't care how many people are around. She will hug you tightly and pepper your face in kisses every time she sees you
🛍B=baby(do they want a family? How are they with kids?)
She's surprisingly ok with some kids (monaca) but she's not really that into having them. It really depends if you want to, but she'd prefer to just be with you
🛍C=cuddles(do they like to cuddle? How do they cuddle?)
She really loves cuddling, whenever she wants to cuddle she'll just go searching for you,wrap you up in her arms until you can't complain anymore (why would you?) And bring you to the nearest couch to cuddle. She is obviously the big spoon
🛍D=Domestic(do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
She has invited you multiple times to come live with her in her mansion, and you decided to so that once you finish school. She doesn't need to know how to cook or clean as she has maids and servants ( and sometimes mukuro) to do that for her and you
🛍E=everything (you are ........... example: my life,my world)
"You are the person that I want to rule alongside with, the despair I'd feel if I lost you.......it's the only form of it that I would absolutely hate"
🛍F=flirting (how do they flirt? Does it continue even after they're in a relationship?)
She flirts sooooo much, compliments are literally an hourly thing with junko, and she always has hands on you. She was hugging you and calling you hot even before you got together, so imagine how she is now
🛍G=gifts(what gifts do they like to give you? When?)
Junko is just very rich, so she absolutely loves spoiling you. Whenever she has to go abroad for a photo shoot, she always comes back with some souvenirs and photos of her in a bikini. Shopping dates are also one of her favorite things to do (poor mukuro who has to hold onto all of your bags)
🛍H=hug(do they like hugs? how do they hug?)
I already talked at length about how affectionate she is, so it's no surprise she absolutely loves hugs. Her hugs are really tight, and most of the time, you end up with your head in her chest (she does it on purpose)
🛍I=I love you (how fast did they say it? Do they say it often?)
She said it pretty early in the relationship. from your first meeting, she could feel there was something special about you and that you had a special connection. Junko believes in love at first sight and soulmates, so she knew you were destined to be together even during your first weeks as a couple. She also says it sooo often, at least three times a day, either through words or text. She also expects you to say it back or she gets all mad and pouty
🛍J=jealousy (how jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)
She gets jealous very often, while she knows she is ,in her own words, very hot and rich and the most amazing girlfriend ever. She just can't help but hate all those bitches who try to flirt with you, she also feels a bit of pity because they think they have a chance. But on the other hand she gets to make another person she despise feel absolute despair so that's nice
🛍K=kisses(how do they kiss you? Where do they like to kiss you?)
This girl lives for kisses. She kisses you literally every time she sees you. Be it soft pecks to greet each other or full-on steamy make-out sessions on her bed, she doesn't care as long as she gets to press her lips into you. She kisses you literally everywhere, often leaving marks of expensive lipstick brands on your skin, but her favorite place are your lips, they're so juicy and kissable to her.
🛍L=love confession(how did they confess to you?)
Her confession was.....weird to say the least, at first she just went up to you and said "hey, I'm your girlfriend now" when you asked explanations she actually started confessing and saying how much she was crushing on you and loved you and that she would do anything for you (she left out the part that she wanted to rule the world with you for when you'd be more accepting to her despair) when you said you felt the same she beamed and hugged you and told you how good of a choice that was and how she would be an amazing girlfriend
🛍M=mornings (how do they spend mornings with you?)
She wakes up kinda whenever she wants to, and so you have to, too, since you're trapped in her embrace and snuggled into her (not that you'd ever complain she's incredibly comfy)
🛍N=nights (how do they spend nights with you?)
The same goes for nights, she goes asleep whenever she wants to and so you mostly stay cuddled with her while she rambles on about how much she loves you or how she's gonna bring despair onto someone until she feels sleepy
🛍O=overprotective (how protective are they of you?)
How protective junko is of you depends on the occasion. If nothing is wrong, then she's not that protective, even if she likes to stand near you at all times just to be safe. She also just has a feeling for bad people, so when she sees bad vibes coming from someone, she'll be extra close to you. She has the strength to defend you. She also assigns mukuro to basically be your personal bodyguard whenever she's not with you.
🛍P=pet names(what nicknames do they like to call you?)
She just calls you whatever she has in mind at that moment: babe, baby, cutie, pookie bear, darling, my despair filled partner, my love, you know, the classic ones
🛍Q=quizzes(how much do they remember about you?)
She does remember the important things like your birthday, favorite color, those clothes you said looked good on her (all of them) your favorite way to kill someone, but she might forget some minor details you mentioned in passing
🛍R=rain(how do they spend a rainy day with you)
She doesn't really like the rain too much, so you'll just stay in and scroll on social media while cuddling
🛍S=service (what are some acts of service they do for you?)
(OK....does bringing despair on people you don't like count as acts of service?) Expect for that she also likes running baths for you whenever you're stressed, she then joins you and you two just relax together in peace
🛍T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
She puts effort into everything she does for you but especially into anniversaries, it's the day she started dating the most amazing person in the entire world, she treats it as if it's both of your birthdays together
🛍U=unhappy (how do they cheer you up?)
Normally, seeing someone cry would bring her nothing but joy. The despair on their face feels amazing to her. But with you, she actually hates it. She doesn't fully know why, but she knows she genuinely hates seeing you in any kind of pain, so she instantly hugs you and tries to wipe your tears and makes you smile, she later bought you whatever you wanted. If it was someone who made you sad then she'll just torture them while you watch, she even asks you how you want to kill them.
🛍V=value (How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?)
Junko doesn't really understand why you mean so much to her. She doesn't want to watch you feel despair or anything like that. In fact, she wants to see you smile because of her. Any form of you being not with her or in pain makes her feel despair, but it's not the despair she wants to feel she genuinely hates it. So she'll just bring despair to everyone but you, because she loves you
🛍W=wound (how do they react to you getting injured?)
She just asks mukuro to patch you up and instantly goes to kill whatever hurt you. Even if you just fell in a bush of roses or something, she'll cut it just because. Nothing hurts you and gets away with it
🛍X=Xtra (a random fluffy headcanon)
She has so many pictures of you on her phone, it's not even just of you two, sometimes it's just photos of you doing the most normal things ever that she took because you looked cute (some of them are of you sleeping) her phone gallery is like 80% pictures of you ans 20% sexy pictures of her that she sends you
🛍Y=yes (how do they react to you proposing to them?)
"Hehe, I knew you were gonna say that. What kind of despair rulers would we be if we didn't get married? Oh, I'm already starting to think of the ceremony, yes absolutely I want nothing more than to be at your side forever and bring despair to everyone else together~"
🛍Z=zzz (how is sleeping with them?)
She holds onto you incredibly tightly but somehow always in a way that makes you feel very comfy. She also kinda sleep talks something and mutters I love you or despair while she sleeps
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sp4ceboo · 1 year ago
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Stray: Lee Dokyeom x Cat Hybrid!Reader
A/N: so there are a lot of hybrid AUs out there where the members are the hybrids but it got me thinking about dk with cat hybrid reader (i heard dk was allergic but dw i got it covered)
tw: 18+ because of eventual smut, swearing, hybrids are not treated well by society, a bit of trauma from reader being treated badly, reader doesn't have a home or food at the beginning, reader is extremely emotionally repressed whoops, mentions of death + starving, not really slow burn it's just long and has weird pacing because i refuse to cut out some bits, dk is a huge ball of sunshine, it starts off waffly but gets sm better i promise, cheating and breakup (not dk and reader),
wc: 11.7k (oops)
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you'd had your dealings with humans, and most weren't pleasant
as a hybrid, you didn't fully belong with cats or humans
the latter often thought you were inferior, and treated you as much
you find your fully cat form is much more agreeable to your human form with ears - it feels less obvious that way, even though normal cats can smell that you're a hybrid
still, the world isn't kind, and you don't have a home
you'd stood up for yourself at your last job - a secretary in a huge office block - pointing out that you got a much lower salary than the comparable human employees, and had been promptly fired
briefly, a human couple had taken you in, but once they realised you were a hybrid, they kicked you out
which leaves you where you are now, wishing that you were just one or the other and not both
the winter is especially harsh this year, and your soft coat, matted from too many days on the streets, doesn't do much to keep out the cold
the wind is cutting, and you find yourself slinking through the back gardens of some low rise flats, wondering if anyone will spot you and think you're just a stray cat
you can't believe you're stooping this low, but you'd rather this than death by frostbite
like hell you're just going to give up now
it's not like you'd stay permanently without the home owners knowing you're a hybrid, anyway - you know how that ended last time
the muffled sound of laughter floats towards you, and you scale a fence, following the noises until you make your way into a rather overgrown garden
warm light spills through the glass doors, and you curl up on the patio, at the edge of the beam cast by the full kitchen
by full, you mean full
there must be over ten guys in there, all crammed shoulder to shoulder around the dining table, laughing raucously
they're all human, from what you can tell
you can feel a bit of the warmth seeping out from the miniature crack under the door, but before you dare inch forward, further into the light, one of them turns around
he's got a sweet face, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he laughs at one of his friend's jokes
the hackles on your back rise as you feel his gaze on you
you've learnt that when humans smile it doesn't always mean they're good people
retreating quickly, you find yourself thankful for the crowded garden, slinking behind a bush to get out of sight
you immediately feel the lack of warmth, the laughter more muffled from here
for some reason, an empty feeling wells up inside you, like you lost something
like you strayed from the path of your destiny
but deep inside you, the survival instincts tug you away from the warm kitchen and the warm smiles
those instincts haven't failed you yet, so why would they fail you now?
however, despite your so called survival instincts, you find yourself in the same garden a week later
again
you'd visited a few times, but they didn't really count, because all you did was peer furtively over the fence, ears swivelling vigilantly
you'd caught sight of the guy who spotted you before, peering outside and frowning
you assume he's the one who owns the bottom floor flat
you hope he was wondering if he should get his garden in order, because if he was, you whole heartedly agree - you almost poked yourself on the brambles a few times
right now, the Guy is washing up, his sleeves rolled up and his hair a bit of a mess, elbow deep in the soapy sink water
his glasses keep falling down his nose
the kitchen lights are on - it's almost dark, and the night's chill is creeping further into your bones
it's been so long since you've been inside that you find indoor lights kind of... mesmerising
it might seem strange, but you almost crave the fake yellow light the light bulbs give off
the Guy suddenly stops washing up and you almost fall off the back fence that you're perched on, thinking he's seen you
then he bobs his head in time to a beat you can't hear while busting out some quite respectable dance moves, and you realise he's just listening to music
it must be some pretty good music - now he's singing, and you can hear it faintly
wow, he's good
he also looks pretty engrossed
that's your queue; you jump down from the back fence, your paws pattering against the frosty patio as you approach
there's something that always draws you back here
and it's not just because of the warm air radiating from his badly insulated flat
still, you're wary - he might seem friendly, and you might feel a certain pull towards him, but that doesn't mean anything
lots of things have felt right that weren't
you're not making any mistakes this time
you're tired of being mistreated because you're a hybrid, and tired of being seen as a pet and not a person
never mind if this ends with the Guy feeding you caviar some cats could only dream of, if he looks at you funny, you're not going to even set foot in his mess of a garden again
with that thought, you curl up beside the glass door, happy to bask in the lingering warmth from the kitchen and enjoy the artificial light
turning your head, you peer at the Guy over the lip of the door
his shoulders are turned in your general direction, but he's looking studiously at the dishes in the sink, shimmying his shoulders and tapping his foot along to the rhythm of the music, so you decide to stay a little longer
that's when the grey clouds coalescing above you decide to start snowing
you feel the fur on your sides fluff up in response, and you wrap your tail around your paws, edging an inch closer to the door
the air is bitingly cold, and you wonder if you'll make it through the night if the snow settles
you haven't eaten a real meal in ages, and you're suddenly aware that it means your poor little cat body has even less insulation
you're certain that if you don't find shelter soon, tonight will be your last
but do you really want to seek help from some random human?
it's ended badly before, but you know it could have ended worse
you won't let that happen again
abruptly, you stand up, tail lashing in irritation at yourself - like hell you're going to come crawling into some human's home, ears pinned back like you need their help
it's not your fault you were born a fucking hybrid
you're halfway down the patio when a warm gust of air blasts down your spine
you wonder if hallucinating heat is an early symptom of hypothermia but continue resolutely making your way towards the back fence
'hey,'
you whip around, a snarl half forming on your face in shock, but it's just the Guy
he leans in the doorway, a smile on his face and his eyes sparkling
'you can come in, if you want.'
the warmth coming from inside his flat is absolute bliss
you're a metre away from the open door, but you can feel your bones defrosting, and you know however hard you try, you can't leave now
not now that he's offered
not when his kind smile triggers not zero, but minus one alarm bells in your head
you approach but hesitate, knowing you're being too quick to give in - he doesn't know you're a hybrid, and you don't know if he's secretly evil and plans to skin you as soon as you step through the door
just to be safe, you stop just out of kicking distance, staring up at him quizzically
surely, he wouldn't voluntarily let a hybrid into his house - you're much more expensive to look after than pets, because you'd basically be another human in the house who can't earn enough to pay bills
you're considering backing out, even with that delicious heat emnating from his kitchen, when he moves to the side so you have a clear path in
your eyes widen a little
you feel like he's being too nice
he laughs a little at your indecision, squatting down so he looks smaller and less intimidating
'come on. i know it must be way too cold out there. i'll let you out whenever you want to leave, if that's what you want.'
that's the final straw
you step over the threshold and bolt
you're not even sure where you're going, but you swerve away from a room where there are clothes strewn over a chair and the desk filled with clutter - that's definitely his bedroom
the only other room that isn't the bathroom or the kitchen is a dusty room full of cardboard boxes and a bed with no sheets on it
a guest room, you assume
flattening yourself against the floor, you crawl under the bed
quickly, you tuck yourself behind one of the boxes which had been artfully stuffed underneath the bed
once you're settled, it occurs to you that that was frankly rude of you
the Guy let you into his flat, and the first thing you do is sprint past him and invade his guest room
but then again, he probably thinks you're just some feral cat who he saved from becoming a feline icicle, so your behaviour would make sense
you tense when you hear footsteps pass the door, but he doesn't come in, just walks into what you assume is the bathroom
a few minutes later, you hear the shower turn on, and you relax a little more
maybe he'll let you be for now
curling your tail over your nose to stop yourself from snorting in the ridiculous amounts of dust under the bed, you wedge yourself further behind the box and close your eyes
it's amazingly warm in the Guy's flat, you'll give him that
warm enough that despite the hunger that's been gnawing at your stomach for the past week, you find yourself falling into a sleep deeper than you've been able to reach for ages
you'll get to sorting out the details of your little invasion of his flat in the morning
for now, you're happy to sleep
when you wake up, he's gone
understandably, though - he must work pretty hard to afford a nice-ish flat like this, and it is also twelve noon
unfortunately, he doesn't appear to have any cat flaps, so that means you'll have to momentarily shift into your very naked human form to let yourself out the back door
you wonder if you should check in his fridge if he's got anything to eat, but then you decide against it - he's already given you a place to stay for the night, no need to eat his food as well
ignoring the call of the fridge and the shower, you pad over to the back door, pausing when you see something propped against the glass
it's a little whiteboard, and as you approach, you make out the writing
it's got 'hi, i'm dokyeom, dk for short :D' written across the top, with a little flow chart beneath
it starts with two options: 'are you a hybrid' with a box for ticking under 'yes' and 'no'
under the option for 'no', it says 'i'll buy cat food' and under 'yes', it says 'there are spare clothes in the guest room and towels in the bathroom (both clean, don't worry), help yourself to anything in the fridge'
you sit down on your haunches, shocked
so he did consider that you could be a hybrid?
and he's alright with it?
plus, he managed to leave clothes in the room you were sleeping in, and you didn't wake up?
maybe your instincts aren't as good as you thought
or maybe your body thought you were safe last night - safe enough to not wake you up when the Guy (dokyeom, you've learnt from the mini whiteboard) came in
you cock your head, staring at the whiteboard for a few moments longer before making your decision
honestly, it's not hard to choose
you make your way to the bathroom, already eagerly anticipating a shower
sure enough, he's left a towel on the rail, and you're quick to hop into the shower, shifting into your human form and turning up the heat high
it's strange to be out of your cat form, your body suddenly seeming too large and ungainly, your senses immediately dulled
but in a way, it's also freeing - you haven't been able to be like this in ages, as clothes unfortunately don't shift with you from cat to human form
you feel more real this way
that's the problem: you can't exist as just one or another, both animal and human are part of your soul, your essence - you can't just pretend that one half of you doesn't exist
eventually, you drag yourself out of the shower
you're aware that he might have limited hot water, and what kind of guest would you be if you used it up before he even got a chance to get home?
wrapping the towel around you, you slip into the guest room to put on the clothes he'd left there
it's a pair of black tracksuit bottoms, a large white t-shirt and a grey hoodie, all obviously his
even in your human form, you can smell the mixed scents on his clothes
there's the fresh smell of clean laundry, a hint of aftershave, and his own unique scent: you can't quite put your finger on it, but it feels... cosy
it's a smell that's all over his house, actually
barefoot, you enter the kitchen again, scooping the whiteboard off the floor so you can write on it
you tick the box under 'yes'
underneath that, you write a quick note:
'thanks for letting me stay. i'll be out of your hair in no time, i just needed somewhere for the night. you're very kind, dk. thank you so much :))'
signing your name and setting the whiteboard down on the counter on the way to the fridge, you rummage around, wondering what you can cook
you're pleasantly surprised - the contents of his fridge aren't awful, and although they could be organised a little better, it's thankfully not full of expired ready meals or anything like that
feeling better than you've felt in ages, you wander around his kitchen until you find his rice cooker, and then you get cooking
you're absolutely ravenous, but you make sure to make enough for him too - he's been unnecessarily kind to you, this is the best you can do for him
you're just finished washing up your dishes when your instincts prickle
it's a sensation that happens a lot when you're in your human form - it means that your cat form would be picking up something that your human senses are too dull to detect
rushing back to the bedroom, you slip out of the clothes he laid out for you, hastily folding them before shifting back to your cat form
logically, you have no reason to fear
he's been nothing but kind to you, but he's still a human
and humans aren't always as nice as they seem
you feel so much more secure in your cat form - smaller, faster, better at avoiding sticky situations, better at surviving
your ears twitch as you hear a key scrape in the lock
that must be him - dk
you stand indecisively in the middle of the guest room, your claws sinking unconsciously into the carpet before you hastily retract them
by then, he's toed his shoes off and is in the kitchen
you hear a soft 'oh'
he's probably found the whiteboard on the counter, moved from where he left it, and the dinner you cooked for him
he calls your name then, and you almost jump out of your skin before you remember you wrote it on the whiteboard
feeling far too nervous, you trot out into the corridor, nudging the kitchen door open before entering
he's right there, leaning against the counter, his smiling eyes bright as he looks down at you
this is the first time you've really seen him, really realised you let your guard down and allowed some random guy to let you into his house
he looks absolutely huge
like, he could crush your cat form in his bare hands if he wanted to you, although you realise that's not that great of a feat considering your small stature
he would also tower over your human form, but then again, that's not much of an achievment
still, it makes you take a small step back
humans have unquestioned power over hybrids - you're pretty sure if he killed you right here and now, no one would know or care
and if someone did know, the case would be as likely to make it to court as you are likely to become a billionare next week
your hackles begin to rise, and you mentally run through your escape options
unfortunately, none avoid you shifting into your naked human form, even if it's just for a few seconds
you're beginning to panic
a lot
but then, he crouches down, just like last night
slowly, keeping his movements predictable, he reaches his hand out towards you
'i won't hurt you,'
you relax just a tiny bit, ears twitching, waiting to see what he'll say next
'promise.'
of their own accord, your hackles lower, and you find yourself inching towards his outstretched hand
'you don't have to leave, you know. it would be nice to have some company. plus, i don't want to make assumptions, but i'd rather not let you go if you have nowhere else to stay.'
part of your brain wonders why he's being so nice
the other part, the part that you've shoved down for so long, surfaces like a long lost ache, reminding you how lonely you are, reminding you how much you miss simple human interaction
dipping your head forward, you sniff at his broad palm, before lightly licking his fingertips
he chuckles, albeit a little nervously, as if he's scared you're going to bolt at any second (to be fair, if you were him, you wouldn't write off that option either)
his other hand comes up to rub behind your ears, and your eyes close at the feeling
the beginnings of a purr start to form in your chest, and you know that's when your fate is sealed
the permanence of that thought unsettles you
pulling away, you head towards the radiator, settling close to it, glad that your cat form means that you don't have to talk to him
he grins brightly at you, picking up the plate you left on the counter and putting it in the microwave for warming up
'thanks for the dinner, but you know you don't owe me anything, right?'
you blink up at him from your spot on the floor
he's literally the kindest human you've ever met
then again, you haven't met very many kind humans
that night you sleep curled up on the sofa - it's much more comfortable than wedged underneath a bed, and his cushions smell nice
in the morning, you hear dk get up, but he tip toes around quietly
cracking an eye open, you yawn, eyes blinking into focus as you watch him quickly scribble on the whiteboard, his brow furrowed in concentration
he glances your way, and for some reason, it shoots a bolt of panic through you, and you duck your head back down, closing your eyes
it's not that he's threatening - quite the opposite
it's just that you're not used to this; not used to being in such close proximity with another being for prolonged periods of time, not used to interaction with humans after avoiding them for your own sake for so long
you hear some shuffling, the sound of the fridge door, and then his footsteps approach
as he walks past, he brushes a hand lightly down the soft fur of your back, as if in greeting
you almost twitch at the feeling
you wonder how long it's been since you've let anyone come that close
not daring to move a hair, you wait until you hear him ease the front door shut
the second he's gone, you jump up, eager to see what he wrote on the whiteboard
it's on the counter, so you shift into your human form and put on some clothes - you're not sure what his rules about paws on tables are
there's a fresh t-shirt on the guest room bed, but you opt to wear the one you wore yesterday
a smile plays on your lips as you read what he wrote
it's a short but sweet message extolling the virtues of your cooking and telling you to help yourself to the fridge again, followed by a question asking if what food you would like and whether you prefer cat food
still grinning, you write your reply, explaining how you can eat both human and cat food and how you love tuna in either form, adding a short shopping list of ingredients and asking how his day was
once you're done, you decide to explore his flat properly
it consists of two bathrooms, two bedrooms, a tiny room with a washing machine and various bits and bobs crammed inside, and the kitchen which sort of melds with the living room (if you could call the couch and TV in one corner a living room)
you spend most of your time snooping around his bedroom, just to sate your curiosity
it's not neat, but it's not messy either, and the smell of him is strongest in there
you're sure his desk should be buckling under the combined weight of his pc and the impressive amount of paraphanalia that's collected upon it
it's not that it's dirty - it's actually pretty orderly, there's just... a lot of stuff
there's a mug full of pens which says 'dude kisser' on it (you're not going to question that one), a haphazard stack of books - the top one of which has a fuzzy bookmark sticking out, a pile of mismatching keycaps, a group photo of dk and twelve other guys with moustaches and other flattering things lovingly drawn on, and tons more stuff you couldn't explain even if you tried
the chair has a lot of clothes draped over it: nice, comfy clothes, like the ones he's lended you
you're tempted to explore further into his room, but you feel kind of rude so you scuttle back to the kitchen/living room to make the happy discovery that he owns a nintendo switch
that means he probably has some more complicated games lurking around but you're happy to settle with mario kart for now
it's not something you've played before, although you've heard some of your human ex-colleagues talking about it
by the time dk returns, though, you're a pro
well, maybe not a pro, but not inept, either
by then you've made dinner and left it out for him like yesterday - you feel kind of weird doing nothing but playing video games while he goes to work, and at least cooking for him makes you feel a little useful and not like some awful parasite taking advantage of him
he tells you about his day as he eats at the dinner table while you sit in cat form on the chair next to him
he smiles the whole time, and you find yourself relaxed and content, infected by his happy virus
once he's done with his debrief, he unthinkingly asks how your day was
you look at him and give him your best deadpan meow
he laughs and you find it a bit dazzling - he hands away smiles as if they're free, and honestly it kind of restores your faith in humanity
'what if you blink twice for yes and once for no? how about that?'
you blink twice at him
dk grins, his eyes lighting up; he's so excited you can almost imagine him clapping his hands and kicking his legs like an enthusiastic little kid
'do you like pineapple on pizza? is it wrong to wear socks and sandals? how about socks in bed? are tomatoes a fruit? is it right to have toilet paper over? or do you like it under?'
he bombards you with random yes or no questions, each one getting weirder than the last, but you find his delight in your answers is more than enough to let him continue
after about half an hour, he either runs out of questions or decides to spare you, asking instead whether you want to watch a movie
that's how you end up curled up on the sofa beside him
he'd insisted on a horror movie, even though you'd said no, very clearly blinking only once
you would leave but you think it's kind of entertaining how bad the makeup and plot are and how violent his reactions are (they consist of a lot of flailing and terrified squeaks)
despite your reluctance to watch a horror movie, he's actually more scared than you are
the poor thing is tense as anything, his mouth hanging half open as he stares wide eyed at the tv, transfixed
you're actually too busy watching him that when the jump scare pops up on screen, you jump about a foot high, landing hissing on his lap with your tail all fluffed up
your claws accidentally come out and prick him through his jeans and he yelps
'ouch - shit - ow - '
you hop off his lap and watch him dramatically curse and pretend to be wounded, both of you distracted from the movie now
eventually he calms down and goes back to watching, but not before he picks you up and plops you back on his lap, one hand anxiously smoothing down your back as you both wait for the next jump scare
after a while he goes so far as to pick you up and hold you to his chest, hiding his face in your fur every time the music warningly crescendos, whispering to you how utterly terrified he is
even still, his grip stays loose enough for you to move away at any time if you want
you'd think that after your previous experiences with humans, you'd hate him anywhere near you, but you don't
you don't mind it at all
it's kind of ridiculous actually, the way you feel safer than you have in months when he clutches you to him while watching a literal horror movie
you don't think much of it though
he's just a guy who's letting you stay for a bit
you don't plan to stick around
a week later, you find yourself writing an apology on the whiteboard that you'd been putting off since watching the movie
dk is welcoming and warm and friendly but you're sure he must be wondering why you haven't shifted into your human form yet
sometimes, you wonder that yourself - there's something in his eyes that instantly puts you at ease
the day before yesterday, you'd planned it, changing into your clothes - his clothes, and sitting on the sofa, ready to greet him, but the moment you heard his footsteps up to the front door, you just couldn't
your cat form still feels so much safer, even though you have nothing to fear
well, apart from all the explaining you'd have to do once you shift into a form with a tongue that can talk
you don't want to see the pity that would spring into his eyes, or worse, disgust
you're scared of the change it will bring
you're scared to let your walls down
you're scared to bare the soft, vulnerable part of your heart
clenching your teeth, you force yourself to relax, the marker in your hand shaking from how hard your fingers had been clenching around it
you lean against the counter for a while, writing messages then rubbing them out, needing to tell him why but also terrified of what he'll say
solitude has been your only companion for so long, you find that you don't have the words to express what you feel
you don't know how to tell him how you hadn't realised how lonely you were until he let you in
you don't know how to articulate the warm feeling inside you when he smiles at you, as if he doesn't care whether you're a human or a hybrid - because he doesn't
you don't know how to say how eternally grateful you are to him for finding something soft and gentle and innocent within you that you thought you lost years ago
in the end, you decide to keep it short, an apology that feels more like an excuse, but it's the best you can give him
sure, you don't plan to stay here with him forever, but you owe it to him anyway
your restless for the remainder of the day, pacing around the flat and the garden for a little too, tail lashing agitatedly
you've almost convinced yourself to go and rub out your message completely when you hear the front door open and dk comes in, calling out that he's home
peeking around the corner, you see him down the hallway but he doesn't spot you
he's got a strange look on his face, one you can't decipher yet, and there's a flowery scent on him that you've smelled only one time before
you wait just out of sight, not wanting to see his face as he reads
slowly, you venture out, feeling far more nervous than you should be
he sits down on the floor opposite you as soon as he spots you, signalling for you to do the same by patting the spot in front of him
you sink down on your haunches and curl your tail over your feet, nerves a tight ball in your chest
'you don't have to shift if you don't want to.'
the words immediately give you space to breathe, and you feel kind of silly for being so worked up about it all day
'i know hybrids aren't treated well at all, and i'm okay with whatever form you feel most comfortable in, you know? you can shift when you're ready, and whether that's tomorrow or in a decade or never, that's fine. you don't owe me anything.'
your chest feels tight at the earnesty of his words, and you know that if you were in your human form right now, tears would be welling up in your eyes
getting up, you close the gap between the two of you and rest your shoulder against his knee, needing to show your gratitude, needing to be closer to him
he rests his wide palm on your back, a silent assurance
'it's nice to have you here. i used to share with a bunch of my friends - the ones coming over tonight that i told you about this morning, actually - and sometimes it gets lonely in a flat all by myself. i like talking with you.'
you meow, nuzzling against his other hand as he lifts it to stroke the silky spot between your ears
it's amazing, how simple his words are but how he can use them so well, articulating how he feels so boldly
he smiles down at you and you look back up at him, leaning against his hand before he gets up, groaning and cracking his back
his friends will be here soon
he'd warned you this morning, informing you they were noisy but harmless and that if you didn't want to see them, you could hole up in the guest room
they're the first people he's had over since your first night in his flat, and you feel kind of nervous about so many humans, but dk will be there, and you're determined to at least attempt to meet them
anyways, if they're all anywhere close to him, you'll have no problems
still, you stay in the guest room, ears twitching with each arrival
they laugh and chat, their voices carrying through the flat as they jokingly rib each other
occasionally, they have a little karaoke break where they all stop talking to sing along to the song playing on dk's speaker
then there'll be peals of laughter that follow, usually after an exaggerated falsetto note or a scuffling noise which you assume is dancing
it's after their laughter dies down a little when you finally whip up the courage to approach
poking your head into the kitchen, you peer in
there's twelve of them, not including dk, all sitting around the dining table, an array of soju bottles and mainly empty takeaway boxes arranged around them
you're pretty sure they're the same group that you saw the first time you found yourself in dk's garden
one of them spots you in the doorway, and he grins, leaning with his elbows on his knees and opening his palms to you
cautiously, you trot over to him, and he scoops you up, tickling your chin
one of dk's friends across the table gapes at you - he's a bit more drunk than the others (or he holds his liquor less well), and the guy you're sitting on chuckles at his expression
'dk, you got a cat?'
that's the drunk one speaking, his speech a little slurred as his eyes well up with tears
he's a sad drunk, it seems
'dk, you're a dad - '
dk scratches the back of his neck, watching his friend sniffle
'well, hoshi, not a dad, but - '
the guy still holding you adjusts you in his grasp, letting you catch the thoughtful frown on his face
'why didn't you tell us? i thought you were al - '
he's cut off by a sassy looking guy
'jun, just because you want to have a baby shower for a cat doesn't mean all the rest of us do.'
this causes absolute chaos, and the one holding you - jun - lets you down on the floor so he can stand up in order to argue with the sassy guy about the benefits of cat baby shower
navigating your way through the mess of legs under the table, you make your way over to dk
he grins and rubs the spot behind your ears, and you lick his palm before someone grabs you around the middle and cuddles you
you hear dk telling the boys to be careful and it warms your heart a little that he's still looking out for you
he doesn't need to be worried, though
dk's friends are as sweet as he is
you sit with the boys for the rest of the evening
they all leave eventually, trickling out in ones and twos
the last one left is the one they call cheol - he seems to be the protector of the group, and he makes sure dk is alright and helps him clear up a little before he leaves too
once he's out of the door, dk crouches down in front of you
'you okay?'
you blink twice and he grins
'they can be pretty overwhelming and noisy at first, but they're my best friends.'
there's pride shining in his eyes, and you can't help but agree with him - despite their banter, you could tell that they care so much for each other, and for him
'i didn't know whether you wanted them to know you were a hybrid or not, i hope you don't mind that,'
you blink twice again, meowing and padding forward to rub against his shins
you're not quite sure what makes you do that, what primal part of you tells you to put your scent on him, but he chuckles, smile as bright as the sun as always
he scratches at the spot behind your ear and you purr, leaning your head into his touch
'oh - '
you look up, the wonder on his face making it seem like he just made you sprout wings and flash neon
it's cute that he's so proud that he's made you purr
it's been a few months since you first started staying with dk, long enough for the two of you to have a little routine
you cook and clean and generally try to make yourself as helpful as you can around his house while he's at work
he'll write a message for you on the whiteboard every morning, and you'll write your reply during the day
you always come out to greet him at the front door, no matter what
then he'll eat the dinner you made and answer your whiteboard message
from then on, you'll watch a movie with him or just chat
your communication has become easier - sometimes, he'll get his laptop out and you'll type what you're saying, but recently he's gotten scarily good at reading your body language
and no, you still have not worked up the courage to shift into human form yet
you're studiously ignoring the fact that the longer you leave it, the harder it gets
you're also ignoring your previously stated intentions of not staying
you know that this can't go on forever, and even if dk can understand you to an extent, that's not enough and you cost him extra water bills and food
you know he's too kind to bring it up but it eats away at you inside
you're happy to remain blind to the fact that you can't have a proper conversation with him until you shift into human form for now
you tell yourself that you'll deal with it later, whenever later is
another thing that you refuse to acknowledge is your feelings
your fear that you won't be good enough if or when you show him your human form, your fear that you're a dead weight, and worst of all, the growing realisation that he's stupidly fucking handsome
you'd realised but you hadn't realised until one day, after he got back from the gym
his skin had been covered in a light sheen of sweat, and he told you he was going to shower before eating
you'd kind of just blinked at him, too entranced by the amount of skin his tank top was showing
like, what does this guy not have?
he took a little longer than normal in the shower - you heard him absolutely belting out the lyrics to some ballad you'd never heard before, so you trotted down the hallway to listen more closely
and then the door to the bathroom popped open, along with a billow of steam and a delicious lee dokyeom
there was a towel around his hips, low enough to make your stomach twist, and the water rolled down the planes of his chest in a way that made you want to shift into your human form right then and there, just to wrestle that towel off him and kiss him until you ran out of breath
instead, you yowled and jumped about a foot in the air
he just laughed, running a hand through his wet hair to push it out of his eyes before crouching down, telling you he didn't mean to scare you
you meowed and kept your eyes on his face, not on the gap that had opened in the towel due to his bent knees, and definitely not on the wonderful sliver of tanned thigh that showed
the image of dk, damp and glorious under the tinny light of his bathroom, cloaked in steam, often circles around your mind to this day
and it's not just that either - he's also funny and kind and sweet and you feel yourself drowning in his eyes when you look at him too long
just as a reminder: cats do not like water
let alone drowning
the sound of footsteps on the pavement outside dk's front door shake you from your thoughts
there's clearly two people, and you hear dk's voice as the key scrapes in the lock
he's speaking in a tone you've never heard before, low and emotionally charged, like he's angry
you peek into the hallway as the front door opens
dk steps in, followed by a girl you've never seen before, but her scent matches that flowery scent you've smelt on dk a few times before
something sinks inside you
you didn't think he had a girlfriend, which now, in hindsight, seems like a really, really stupid assumption
he's handsome and kind and considerate with a smile brighter than the sun
but then you notice something else - the obvious frown on dk's face
there's a sort of tension in the air, crackling and heavy, like a storm's brewing and there are dark clouds swarming above
she ignores it, instead spotting you and immediately crouching and patting her thighs to try and entice you over as dk shucks off his shoes, face like thunder
she says something to him in an airy voice about him not telling her he had a cat
he shrugs, not mentioning that you're a hybrid and staying silent, which kind of alarms you, because the dk you know is friendly, warm - even when he's angry, it's always firey, nothing like the frigid detachedness in his eyes right now
cautiously, you approach, not really sure what to expect - you're sure she's his girlfriend; now you think about it, you did hear dk's friends discuss it briefly, you just didn't understand at the time
she reaches out to stroke your back, but it brings the cuff of her oversized leather coat near your face
you get a smothering whiff of heavy, masculine cologne that you know is not hers and is definitely not dk's
there's no hint of aftershave, no smell of fresh laundry, and not even a trace of that scent on him that makes you feel warm and comfy
and if this isn't her coat, and it's not dk's, then who's is it?
cheater
hissing, you recoil, your hackles up as you swipe at her hand with your claws out before she can lay a finger on you
you're kind of taken aback by the violence of your own reaction - the tension in the air must be getting to you, too
'oh. it doesn't like me much, you're sure it's not one of those hybrids, right?'
dk's frown deepens into a scowl you've never even seen a hint of on his face, his eyes flashing, filled with something absolutely livid
'let's talk in the kitchen.'
he doesn't even look at her when he says it, and as he turns to go, you can see how hard he's clenching his jaw
you head to the guest room to give them privacy while dk's girlfriend slinks after him
even across the apartment, you can hear too well
it's partly your enhanced cat hearing and partly that new timbre in dk's voice - he's not yelling, nowhere close, but his words carry through the walls
it's the angriest you've ever heard him
you've seen him angry before; frustrated, annoyed, down right incensed, but it always passes quickly, the sun breaking through the clouds with ease - dk doesn't hold grudges
you catch 'cheating' from his sentence, and then suddenly, his girlfriend raises her voice, like she's the one who should be angry, screaming that she doesn't get why he's so worked up over this
that's the exact moment where you want to march into the kitchen and fucking injure her, somehow
punching her in human form would be preferable but you'd be down to claw her eyes out in cat form too
who is she, to cheat on dk, the kindest man alive, then tell him it's nothing? tell him she doesn't know why he's worried?
she doesn't know what she's taking for granted, and she's a fool for that
plus, from what you can hear, he's being half as angry as he really deserves to be, anyway
you sit there in a tense, seething ball of rage, protective and furious on dk's behalf until he puts his foot down
his voice is quieter, more subdued, but he's moved to the kitchen door and you hear him clearly
'get out.'
mentally, you pump your fist in triumph - he should have kicked her out the moment she had the audacity to tell him he shouldn't be getting so worked up about her cheating
in fact, he should have never have let her in in the first place
you hear her screech something over her shoulder about breaking up, as if that wasn't already obvious
honestly, you're kind of embarrassed on her behalf
she should be winning awards for how far her head is up her own ass
dk shuts the door behind her
he doesn't even slam it, just eases it closed like he always does and plods to his room
you hear the rustle of the blankets as he slumps down on the bed, hear the shaky sigh he lets out, and then the heavy silence
you get up and go to his room - the door is ajar, so you peek in
you don't go in; he has every reason to want to be alone, so you hover in the doorway
he lifts his head up and gives you a valiant smile
he looks exhausted
you hop up onto the bed and wait, not wanting to crowd him if he doesn't want contact, but he picks you up and sets you on his chest
you can tell he's fighting with his words as he formulates something to say to you
he stares up at the ceiling, avoiding your eyes until he covers his own with his arm, hiding the upper half of his face in the crook of his elbow
'i found out she was cheating this morning, but i'd suspected it for a while before. i wanted to talk it through with her, give her a chance, you know?'
he squirms and you realise your claws are coming out and poking his chest so you withdraw them and attempt to relax
'she told me i was overreacting, and... yeah. i guess i should have listened to my mum. she's always right.'
he laughs, but it's a loose, raw sound that echoes weakly around the room, and he still won't look at you or uncover his eyes
there's a moment of silence, thick and suffocating with heartache
a sob wrenches from his chest
it's a sharp, painful sound, like he's been holding it in for hours
the floodgates open
dk covers his face with trembling hands, tears leaking out from under his palms
you never thought seeing someone else cry would hurt this much
nudging his hand with your nose, you let him hold you close, rubbing your cheek against his and gently lapping the tears off his face, even as they soak your fur
you feel helpless, like the pieces of his heart are in your hands and you don't know how to fit them back together
he just clings to you, eyes tight shut as his sobs begin to subside
you stay there with him, wishing you could do more as he hides his face in your fur and hugs you close to him
you don't know what that girl was thinking when she decided to cheat on dk
actually, she probably wasn't thinking at all
you kind of want to tell him he's too kind and trusting for his own good, but you know that even if dk was capable of not being like that, he would choose to be the way he is
his hand strokes down your back, and you watch him from where you rest your head on his collarbone
he's staring at the ceiling, and although his eyes are red and a bit puffy and he's sniffling, his crying has subsided a little
dk props himself up on his elbows and gives you a sad smile
'sorry about that. and thanks, too, i - i needed that.'
you huff, tail flicking and smacking against his abdomen - as if he needs to be sorry
nuzzling into the hand he brings up to rub your head, you lick his palm, nudging it with your nose
then you hop off the bed and wait for him to follow you into the kitchen so he eats his dinner
you don't take your eyes off him, not even when he goes to sleep
you curl up in the corner, happy to sleep on the carpet, but he pats the mattress next to him and you can't refuse
it's nice, to sleep beside dk, his body warm and near as he reaches across the bed to run his hand down the fur of your spine and beckon you closer
over the next months, you watch dk heal
you help him heal, too
at least, you hope you do
you make sure to stick close to him
you've slept curled up at the foot of his bed every night since the day of the break up
he calls his mum the day after, and a few of his friends too
he stays strong and determinedly brave in front of the boys, not shedding a tear, but he cries on the phone to his mum
he also cries over a few emotionally fraught kdramas during the first week before you sit on the remote and refuse to move until he chooses another genre
truth be told, you were getting kind of sick of the same plot with different characters, and the pile of tissues on the coffee table in front of the sofa was growing frighteningly large
exactly a month has passed since the break up when, over his dinner, dk announces to you that he's finally installing cat flaps for you
he also mentions that he wants to introduce you to his friends properly, as who you are
the latter comment kind of makes you nervous
his friends are some of the most welcoming, commendable men you've ever interacted with, but a niggling part of your brain wonders if they'll be more sceptical than dk
what if they tell him you're taking advantage of him?
or that you're just a hybrid and don't deserve the kindness he's giving you?
because after all these months with dk, you realised you're not just staying for the roof over your head or the warm meals
you're staying because of dk
you care about him
a lot
not just because you're sort of a little bit hopelessly in love with him, but also because he's kind of... your best friend
he's so sweet and silly and and considerate and funny it makes you want to punch a wall sometimes
you'd protect him with your life
you don't really know how to say it to him, though
there's nothing more you can do in the house, and the words don't seem right on the whiteboard
you wait out the hours until he gets back from work, doing chores around the house or out exploring the neighbourhood through the newly installed cat flap in the back door
or singing in the shower, like you are now
dk's bathroom has very good acoustics
it means you can belt your heart out, happily knowing that dk won't be home for another few hours
you're singing one of the songs dk's friends had been singing the other night
it's kind of sad but also kind of a hoe anthem and the chorus has something about not understanding something - you don't remember the rest of the lyrics
it has a good tune, though, and your own singing combined with the splashing of the shower seals you off from the outside world
which means that when dk gets home early, you don't hear
originally, the only explanation for a female voice coming from his bathroom that he can think of is his ex, but that's dumb because she never had a key in the first place
also, her voice can't even compare to yours
because it is you, he realises
it's you in the shower right now, oblivious to the fact he's home early and is hearing your voice for the first time ever
a little bolt of nervous energy shoots through him, and he panics
what's he supposed to do? should he shout that he's home?
he decides he doesn't want to scare you just in case you panic, so he approaches slowly, hoping to knock on the door and let you know
he soaks up the sound of your voice, a smile playing on his lips, because of course you sound amazing
he's about to knock on the door when the handle turns
wait is all he gets out before suddenly, there you are, right in front of him, wrapped in a towel, cat ears peaking out from your hair that's dripping onto the tiled floor
his brain freezes
shit, you're pretty
you gape at dk
you didn't even hear him come in, let alone him walking down the hallway
this is probably karma from that one time you saw him fresh out of the shower
you'd known that it was inevitable for him to see you in human form at some point, whether it was intentional or not
you just didn't expect it to be so soon, and definitely not like this
oh no
he didn't hear your singing, did he?
instinctively, your hand comes up to make sure the towel around your chest is secure
you're seconds away from shifting and running, but you're rooted to the spot, paralysed by his eyes on you
he blinks a little, as if he's coming to his senses
'...hey,'
that's all he says, his voice soft and wondrous, his eyes sparkling the way they always do, sweet and inviting as the smile pulling at his lips
'hi,'
unfortunately for you, it comes out half strangled and breathy, but a grin immediately appears on his face, his eyes scrunching with happiness
he hasn't looked away once, gaze roving over your face as if he's committing you to memory, and you feel a hot blush begin to creep over you
'i, uh, let me go change.'
you scurry back into the bathroom, almost tripping over the bathmat as you shuck on a shirt and trousers, small tremors going through your hands
you tell yourself it's fine
because it is fine - you're not scared of dk, you trust him, it' just... you should have shifted for him ages ago
placing your hand on the door handle, you take a deep breath
turning back to the mirror, you hastily fix your hair before biting the bullet and opening the door
dk waits outside, leaning against the wall, still smiling
when you peek out, half hiding behind the door, his grin widens, and he opens his arms
you barely need to think, your body just moves, and then he's got you tight in his embrace, your nose pressed into his chest: just like that, any semblance of unease or self consciousness you were feeling evaporates like the space between you
slowly, you breathe in, then out
he smells like he always does - laundry, aftershave, and the scent that you've begun to associate with home
you sigh, resting your forehead on his chest so you don't have to look at him when you speak
'well, that wasn't so hard for me, was it?'
he laughs, eyes dancing, and with that, everything is back to normal
it doesn't matter which form you're in, it's still dk, and it's still you
you talk to him for ages - first over dinner, and then the two of you move to the couch, losing track of time as you fill him in, answering every question he fires your way
his sincerity makes your heart flutter: he clings onto your every word as if it's precious
in the end, you wind up telling him how you got to the situation you were in before
you lay yourself bare, letting your walls down for him to see the scars on your soul
you're not sure when the tears pricking at your eyes spill over, but dk wipes them away gently, spreading his arms for the second time tonight, letting you soak the front of his hoodie with your tears
he tucks your head against his shoulder, his hand rubbing up and down your back the way he always does
his heartbeat is comforting under your ear
you fall asleep like that, held safely in dk's embrace
things continue as normal, even with your human form revealed
you realise how stupid you were for worrying so much about things changing when you shifted into your human form
you talked to dk about how you feel like a burden, how although he doesn't mind, you don't like relying on him to pay the bills, and how you want to get a job
he reassured you that it was fine but after seeing the look of determination on your face, he realised there was no point in opposing you
so he pulls some strings (more like cheol pulls some strings) to get you a part time job in the local library
it's just three days a week, but the important thing is that you get paid and treated the same as any human would
your boss is a little old lady with very thick reading glasses
she bakes you cakes sometimes, and once she's fed you a slice or two, she forces you to take the rest home
it's not anything like your old job, but neither would you want it to be
it doesn't pay your bills either, but it's a happy compromise
dk claims that coming home every day to a meal that you cooked is worth the money of those bills a hundred times over, anyway
you also officially meet his friends
they're sweet, a bit noisy and chaotic at first, but they make sure to keep you included in the conversation despite all the private jokes that they seem to have
they act a bit like a huge family unit (they bicker like brothers)
despite their closeness with each other, it doesn't push you away
they didn't even care that you were a hybrid
you caught a knowing look pass between the one called joshua and the one called jeonghan when dk introduced you, but you're not really sure what it could have been about
you were probably just imagining it, to be honest
anyways, aside from occasionally attending their boys nights (on demand, they always clamour for you to join them), the little routine you and dk made is still very much the same
you still cook for him, except now you wait and eat dinner with him
there's never a dull moment with dk, and he makes you laugh until you can't breathe
he's made it his personal goal over dinner to make you laugh so hard you snort food up your nose again
you talk about everything and anything to him
he'll tell you about a funny thing at work and you'll tell him about a customer at the library and somehow that will bring you to a debate on hogwarts houses
today he sits across from you, the food on his plate already all long gone and eaten while you're just finishing up with yours
'you know, i'm allergic to cats.'
you gape
because he's what now?
'you're what now?'
'well, not to you, i guess. maybe you're hypoallergenic?'
now you think of it, you do remember one of his friends almost saying something about that the first time you ever saw them
it might have been jun, you can't quite remember
'you know, when you first sat next to me on the sofa, i was panicking because i didn't know what to do with cats.'
you snort
you address him as you get up, dumping your plate in the sink before proceeding to dive onto the sofa
'you didn't know what to do with cats? you just stroke us, dk.'
he follows suit, and you're propelled upwards due to the force that he lands on the sofa cushions with
'yeah, but it's different from how you stroke dogs. it doesn't matter, anyways, because i still got you to purr.'
he crosses his arms and smiles smugly
you throw back your head and laugh, realising why he looked so proud when he found the spot behind your ear
actually, you laugh so hard your stomach hurts, and it's only egged on by the small indignant noise that leaves him at your reaction
eventually, you need to catch your breath, and as you wipe the tears from your eyes, you glance over at dk
your heart lurches
he's staring
there's this look on his face, in his eyes, that burns
his lips are slightly parted, and suddenly the air between the two of you is charged in a way that makes your heartbeat pound loud in your ears
his gaze flicks down from your eyes, down to your mouth, then back up, and all of a sudden, you can't breathe
you can't even think as he leans closer, his breath ghosting over your lips
your head spins, fear and elation fighting for control
is he... is he going to kiss you?
his hand comes up to cup your cheek, his slender fingers warm and so undoubtedly right
like it's meant to be
'can i kiss you?'
his words come out so softly that you could almost believe you imagined them, if not for that look in his eyes
it's deep and immense, full of want, full of longing
it sweeps you up in its arms, promising you the love you only dare to dream of
it's beautiful
it's everything
also, it's fucking terrifying
panic grips your swelling heart and crushes it
he can't want you, he shouldn't - you're a hybrid, he's a human, it will never work, you'll just get hurt when he realises you're not good enough, when he realises how much harder it is to be associated with your kind, you can't disappoint him -
leaping off the sofa, you shift into cat form and sprint for the back door
you shoot right through the cat flap and run, legging it to the end of the garden and launching yourself over the fence
despite your speed, you still spare dk a backward glance
he sits, frozen on the sofa, his head turned towards you, eyes wide and bewildered
they're brimming with regret and what you'd like to imagine is sorrow
you never thought the ache of yearning in your chest would be returned, so you let it carve out a space for him in your heart
you didn't think he'd try to fill it, you didn't think he'd be dumb enough to want a hybrid like you
that night, you try to leave
you try to walk down the road, away from dk's house, away from dk and his comforting scent and warm hands
you can't
your soul seems tethered to his, and you can't bring yourself to cut the strings
you spend the night sitting in the garden next to his, tail curled around your paws, bathed in the glow of his kitchen lights that don't turn off until around three am in the morning
you shiver in the dark, fighting with yourself until you decide to go back, to talk it out with him because that's what he deserves
you hate to slink back to him after being such a coward, but you need him to know that you do want him, that if you were a human, if you were good enough for him, you would have kissed him in a heartbeat
quietly, you slip through the cat flap make your way into the guest room
it's changed so much since the first night you spent in it - dk moved most of the boxes out of it, making it your room, even though you sleep in his most of the time
there's a selfie of you and dk, wrapped up in blankets for movie night, and a group photo of you and the boys halfway through the most chaotic game of cards you've ever participated in
you're determined not to lose this, lose them
you're determined not to fuck this up more than you already have
quickly, you shift and change into your clothes, just to stand in the middle of the room, not entirely sure what to do with yourself
you remain there, silently fretting, until there's a soft tap on the door
your breath catches in your throat but you manage to wheeze out a somewhat convincing 'come in'
dk peeks in and leaves the door open - you're aware that he's left it that way to give you a clear escape route
he chews on his lip, running a hand through his hair, and you notice that he looks tired, as if he hasn't slept all night
'i heard you come in, and i just wanted to say that i... i'm sorry. i didn't mean to overstep the boundaries. i just - you're... i'm sorry i messed up. asking to, um, you know, wasn't a good idea on my part, i don't - i didn't know what i was doing, i kind of just...'
he sighs, looking at you sheepishly once he realises he was rambling
'please don't go?'
that's the moment you give in
you let go of it, of everything, and let yourself fly into freefall
stepping forward, you hook an arm around his neck, sinking your other hand into his hair, bringing his face down to yours to fit your lips to his
he makes a soft, awed noise, his fingers curling around your waist to press you closer to him
he tastes divine, like heaven, like the best kind of destiny
the feel of his lips against yours becomes everything you'll ever need
hesitantly, you begin to pull away, words already forming on your tongue, but then he darts forward to steal another sweet, sweet kiss from you, and then you're drowning in him again
he tangles his hands in your hair, his fingertips brushing over your ears, tracing their shape as if to show you that he doesn't care what you are
when he eventually breaks the kiss off, he presses a finger to your lips before you can draw a breath
'don't tell me i don't know what i'm getting into. i thought i lost you, i thought you were leaving, and i couldn't... please, just let me love you.'
he immediately cringes at his own words, and you let your head fall forward until your forehead rests against his chest, huffing out a laugh
'i'm sorry i freaked out before, i - i got scared. then i didn't know what to do so i just kind of ran. i didn't mean to scare you.'
he pouts cutely, in a way that makes you want to poke his cheeks
'well, you did. i - '
you cut him off with a kiss, just to taste him again if not to shut him up
his hands find your hips, drawing you closer to him
'i think i love you.'
the confession slips out of you, mumbled onto his lips before you can stop it, but all he does is smile into the kiss
'i think i love you too.'
when the boys find out, they tease dk mercilessly while somehow also hyping him up
seungcheol, jeonghan and hoshi all claim to have known about it from the start, although everyone knows hoshi is just saying that
jeonghan purposefully sits next to you just to quietly tell you about how he managed to get dk drunk enough one time for him to confess that he was in love with a cat
dk gets pouty about it later, so you kiss his face all over until he smiles again
in fact, he pretends to sulk a lot to get kisses from you
sometimes, you'll catch him just staring at you with a huge grin on his face
he makes a point to hold your hand in public, telling you that he's proud of having you
his sweet words make it easy for you to brush off the stares of the people on the bus, easy for you to ignore the way they whisper
sometimes dk kisses you and loudly calls you disgustingly sappy pet names in front of them, just out of spite
you realise now that they don't really bother you, not when dk doesn't care about them and not when he loves you the way he does - unconditionally
he shows it in the way he hangs onto your every word, in the way he cooks your favourite dishes for you, in the way he holds you, in the way he kisses you as if you're the most precious thing in the universe
you take every opportunity to show him how much you love him, too
hence why you're up early, cooking breakfast for dk
it's a saturday, and the sun leaking through the curtains woke you, even though it didn't even affect dk - he remained snoring beside you, his legs tangled with yours and his arms locked around your waist
you'd eased your way out of his grip and replaced yourself with a pillow, pressing a light kiss onto his forehead before shifting into your human form and pulling one of his t-shirts over your head
most nights, you sleep in your human form, but he'd been hogging the blankets so you'd shifted into your cat form in a desperate effort to make it easier for you to squirm into his blanket burrito
'what're you smiling about, huh?'
you almost drop the pancake you were transferring to a plate already heaped high and steaming with others
his arms wrap around your waist, and you sigh as he kisses your neck
'actually, i was thinking about how rude it was of you to steal the blankets last night, you sneaky little bastard.'
'hmm, my bad.'
he nips at your neck before his tongue flicks out to brush over the same spot
his hands wrap around your hips, and you sigh noncommittally as he sneaks his fingers under the hem of your - his - t-shirt
'babe, the pancakes will get cold - '
'don't care.'
you don't even try to shake him off as he continues to kiss at your neck from behind, nudging the collar of your shirt to the side so he can suck a hickey onto your shoulder
the air of the kitchen is cold on your bare legs, but he's nice and warm and solid, and you lean back into him, eyes closing as he laves his tongue over your skin
a low purr emnates from deep in your chest, and you feel him pause at your back
'that's never happened before,'
'and?'
'it was kind of hot.'
you huff out a laugh, but it's cut off as he spins you around, gripping your chin so he can kiss you
dk kisses you passionately, like he woke up with the one desire to taste every inch of your mouth, his teeth grazing dizzyingly over your lower lip
he grins against you when you moan at the feel of his tongue against yours
hooking your arms over his shoulders, you draw him closer
picking you up, he deposits you on the island, not breaking the kiss
he slots himself between your legs, his fingers skimming over the tops of your thighs, pushing the hem of your shirt a little higher
hooking an ankle around his hip, you nestle your heel in the small of his back, nudging him closer
something in your stomach pulls wonderfully tight when you feel the grind of his hardening cock against your clothed cunt
he chuckles at the involuntary noise that leaves you, one of his hands coming up to cup your breasts as he leans down, palms dragging down the length of your thighs as he hooks them over his shoulders
he helps you shimmy out of your underwear, chucking them carelessly over his shoulder
and then, just like that, he's got his mouth between your legs, spreading your pussy with his fingers, his eyes disarmingly guileless
his tongue is divinely velvet as he sweeps it through your folds
he tastes you as if your essence is the nectar of the gods, teasing the pleasure out of your body, holding your trembling thighs up with his big hands
as you come, convulsing around his tongue, he looks up at you with stars in his eyes, as if you're a goddess
it's ridiculous, the way he can make your heart flutter while fucking eating you out like a man starved
he straightens, kisses you with honey drenched lips that bear a virtuous smile, and lifts you up in his arms so he can make love to you on the sofa
he makes your eyes roll, makes your toes curl, makes you cry his name, sets you alight with his touch
and when he sends you over the edge, coming with you, when he scoops you up in his arms, sets you on the bathroom sink to clean you up, when he kisses you in the shower, you know one thing
you are willingly trapped in his gravity; you orbit him as if he is the star at the centre of the universe, yet somehow he looks at you with a light in his eyes, like you are the sun, the warmth on his skin, the reason for life
you love this man, irrevocably so, and somehow, miraculously, he loves you back
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metaphoricgibberish · 6 months ago
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Nights Like This One: XXIV.
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"For the first time since she made it to Jackson, Joel looked like Joel, older now, more wrinkles around his eyes, that deep set between his brows, gray threaded through his curls. But he looked like Joel, her Joel. And she would have cried, if she had any tears left, if she wasn't still terrified that this— that he— could disappear before her in the blink of an eye."
paring: joel miller x ofc rating: 18+ mdni word count: 4.3k a.n. what a wild ride. i can't believe this fic is almost over. i first drafted the outline on christmas eve in 2023. i had covid and i was miserable, sitting with a mask on in my parent's living room. a couple weeks prior, the laundry room at my own house had flooded, and i remembered wishing, in my sick stupor, that joel miller could come fix my fucking drain for me. so, sitting on my mother's couch (not so unlike lily sitting on her mother's ratty armchair) i dreamt up a fic where joel miller was hired to renovate a woman's home. i'd been reading pablo neruda earlier in the day (not unusual, he truly is a poetic genius) and these two lines from Tonight I Can Write kept rattling around in my head: "Through nights like this one I held her in my arms. I kissed her again and again under the endless sky. // Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms, my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her." and I thought about how beautiful it would be to incorporate those lines, to have them be the cornerstones to the two parts of this story. I've been living with these characters screaming in my head for almost an entire year. I love them and this story so dearly. I know fanfiction gets a terrible reputation, i know that people who don't read it (even some that do) don't truly understand what an art it can be. and sometimes i get sad, or angry with myself for focusing so much of my time (and my $120k creative writing degree) on writing things i can never publish. but i really do love doing this. it brings me so much joy and it makes me happier than i can express when it makes you all feel something too. my dream, since i was ten years old, was to write something that other people loved, that made them happy, made them sad, made them feel something. and i always thought that would be a book, hoped it would be, and maybe that's still in the cards someday, but for now, i'll take this. thank you so very much for reading. there are two chapters left after this (maybe three if i decided to break the next one in two). my sole focus after this will be the human condition, then i have two more fics in very early stages that i'm excited to get out (eventually). happy (actually happy this time) reading <3
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natalie668 · 1 year ago
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Lost Girl
Lost boys fanfic, will be multi-chapter fic.
Lost boys (Michael as well) x reader.
Watching them through your dream had you worried, most people have 1 or 2 soulmates. You believed 3 is the max amount recorded, yet here you are dreaming of 5 men, well if you can call guys in their 20's men.
Sitting up in bed, you peered over at your phone. It hadn't long stopped beeping its annoying tune, it's 7am and you had to hurry up and get ready for work. Rubbing your eyes you swing your legs over the side of the bed, you peer down at the 5 names written on your arm; Michael, David, Marko, Paul & Dwayne. Supposedly the order of names in when you will meet each of them.
You have yet to meet a single one of your soulmates, but you guessed that having only just had your birthday 2 weeks prior it wouldn't really give you much time to have met them anyway.
Walking out of your quaint little bedroom, you make your way over to the bathroom, stripping off you begin turning the knob on the shower toas hot as it can go, (which really is pitiful) the landlord still hasn't been and fixed it even though you had alerted him to the fact its been playing up since you had moved in when you'd turned 20. You guess you can't rush these things.
After you've gotten yourself ready, you set off to work, you've been working as a receptionist in a Library since you had turned 18. You had been to college and finished between the time of finishing high school and turning 21.
As you make your way through the busy town, you can't help but sigh seeing the various couples holding hands making their own ways to work. Every day you see it, heck you even see it with working in the library. You can't help but just wish that one day you'd meet your own soulmates.
The work day went quickly, answering phones, scanning books through which people came and dropped off, passing books onto those who placed them on the correct shelves.
There was a thunder storm wracking through the sky as you made your way home, you were not going to spend a fortune getting a taxi and get stuck in traffic just to go 7 streets over. just as your were rushing past a tree when an almighty bright light shot straight in front of you hitting the tree a massive crack was the last thing you heard and an almighty pain and didn't see again.
~*~*~*~*~
The first thing you heard was screams, and the second thing you noticed was the fact you were lying on a beach, you could feel the grains of sand underneath your fingers, peering down at yourself you were wearing the same clothes you had gone to work in, yet you were nowhere near home, the nearest beach was 200 miles away and you don't think you would have not noticed going in a car to get there. So where the hell were you.
Standing up brushing the sand off my clothes, I looked towards where I could make out some steps, I set off to see where the hell I had turned up.
As soon as I got to the steps I could see rides, people dressed like they were from the 80s and a lot of people running around. I stumbled forward heading towards a shop which I could see had a newspaper stand out front like I'd seen in American movies. I peer in and spot the year 1987, I stared in shock, I looked to the top corner, it said 'Santa Carla' I felt like I was going to throw up, I could feel myself getting light headed. I stumbled over to a bench and placed my head in my hands.
I had somehow ended up in America in the late 80s, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?
I peered around trying not to throw up, my brain was going a million miles a minute, how the hell had I gone back in time. The last thing I remembered was walking home in the thunder storm and seeing a bright light and then nothing.
I panic, feeling my chest, my arms trying to find burn marks, nothing appeared to be on me, 'I must have died' I couldn't help thinking. 'How else would I have ended up going back in time, to freaking America'. A sob escaped my lips, I couldn't believe this was really happening, I pinched myself sharply on the arm to double check I wasn't dreaming.
I stand up from the bench when I finally feel like my heart isn't going to beat out of my chest, I slowly walk down what appears to be some sort of boardwalk, I get towards the end and lean against some metal bars which over looked the sea. Wiping the tears from my face I start to worry about where I am going to sleep tonight, how I'm going to live.
A sharp pain slices through my arm, I look down at my arm, the name 'Michael' is practically glowing red'. Turning around I spot another person grabbing their arm in pain, his eyes meet my own, his head turns to look me in the eyes as he steps towards me, "Hi, I'm Michael," he says as he takes a tentative step towards me. You can tell he's nervous, hell; I'm nervous. I've just gone back in time, and now I'm meeting on of my soulmates?!
"Uhm, nice to meet you, I'm Y/N" I say stumbling over my words, I look him up and down, he's pretty; wild dark hair, dark eyes. He's beautiful. I can't help but feel plain while stood next to him.
He steps towards me, his hand caresses my arm, in the spot where my soulmate mark is, he looks towards my arm and spots the names written on there. A frown marred his features, he slowly takes in the names; his frown turns into a scowl. It makes his face seem to take a different look, his eyes seeming to yellow out of nowhere, which surely must be the light?
His fingers grasp my wrist bringing it closer to his face, he looks up at me, "I think you should come with me, y/n." he says as he looks around at his surroundings like he's expecting someone to jump out at any moment.
Chapter 2
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seat-safety-switch · 10 months ago
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I love my fireworks, say all my neighbours as they cram a flimsy plastic tube full of low-yield explosives. Surely everyone in my community will also appreciate them. If not, they are some kind of Grumpy Gus and are not invited to the block party cookout. Friends, I can tell you this right now: I am not going to that barbecue.
As you might have imagined, the residents of my area of the world like to shoot off a bunch of Roman candles when they feel like it. Sure, fireworks are fun and all, but I feel like if you're burning three or four hundred dollars worth of illegal noise-and-light generators every couple of weeks, you might as well just take up smoking again.
At first, it was a lot of fun. Very festive. It helped the community spirit, even if all the dogs were constantly terrified and kept trying to chew through a fence to escape. Ol' Ray down the block lost a finger trying to grab onto what he called a "Winky Sprinkler," though, and then everything changed.
Once there was a scent of blood in the air, it became a competition. Ray needed to "make it worth" his sacrifice, so he started amping up his production. Bigger shows. Coordinated by electronics. More frequently. This drew the ire of another rich asshole (Bob Winsome, who used to own the Ford dealership) with poor impulse disorder, and soon the two of them were getting up to a night-time artillery show that the police were not equipped to stop, mostly because they were at the doughnut store or trying to knock over a casino for some quick cash in the retirement fund at the time.
Nearly every night became a terror of pop-pop-pop. although I am very good at ignoring troublesome noises, those noises are usually generated by my own car while I'm driving them. Not constantly happening while I'm trying to focus on my usual problems: things like "why is this bolt stripped," and "where did this pile of wires I just cut through go to?"
As the Constitution says, though: "fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." After one particularly rough night of having exploding munitions going off directly over my head while I was trying to find the origin of some faint valve clatter, I decided to respond in kind. A friend of mine, who will be called Millie Teri for reasons that are about to become clear, loaned me a couple pieces from her private collection. I had myself a patriotic parade that night. Courtesy, of course, of some army bases didn't really pay too close attention to what they listed on eBay. That's what they call "taxpayer value," even if I did have to technically buy the low-shrapnel M107 flash shells twice.
I had expected to draw a truce after demonstrating my superior firepower, much like how French tourists can shut down any discussion of cheese. After bombarding both rich pricks' homes, however, it soon became apparent that the dickheads blamed each other for the massive destruction wrought on their properties, and refused to believe that a belligerent third party could have done such a thing to them just for "several months of sleepless nights courtesy of constant 120dB outside noise."
After the mutually-assured destruction finished, though, I never saw or heard another fireworks display from Ol' Ray or Bob Winsome. If they ever find an identifiable chunk of either of their bodies, we'll probably have a pretty cool tribute at the funeral using up whatever unexploded fireworks they have still left in the scorched remnants of their family homes.
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fandomfluffandfuck · 9 months ago
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I may have been reading a bit too much omegaverse but I stumbled upon your stuff on ao3 and uh now it’s not getting out of my head so I’m here
may I request omega!Steve + alpha!Bucky having a sparring session that escalates beautifully?
For reference, my ask box is no longer open for requests, but this is from before I closed it, so I will be writing for this ask.
Also, before we get into it, I semi-recently wrote another lil thing here on Tumblr about Steve and Bucky sparring that you might want to check out, although that prompt fill is much, much angsty-er and not omegaverse specific.
And, lmao, that's fair. I haven't been thinking a lot about omegaverse recently, but every time I am on my omegaverse bullshit I am on it and into it.
And I was really thinking about what I could do with sparring and omegaverse and smut, reading your prompt, but then... I had a thought: omegaverse, fighting not sparring, and something similar to this iconic scene from Captain American: The Winter Soldier.
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Then, things got angsty. I'm sorry, lmao. I didn't mean for it to happen! It just did.
So, consider the idea that Steve and Bucky were bonded mates before Bucky fell and "died" during the war. Bucky is Steve's alpha; Steve is Bucky's omega. Yet, when Steve wakes up in the modern world, not only has history been rewritten to say that Captain America was an alpha but, also, his relationship with Bucky has been erased. It had to be because if it weren't, that would mean that either (a) they would have to claim that Steve and Bucky were an alpha-alpha couple which they don't want to do because that'd make them queer and that's not a good propaganda pawn or (b) they would have to claim that Bucky was the omega, swapping Steve and Bucky's designations which is... plausible... but, that would mean admitting that omegas went to war and, that, again, is unpopular and not good propaganda. So, they just destroyed their relationship entirely and reassigned Steve's designation.
Steve isn't sure how to feel about his life being eroded like that. His relationship; his very, very strong feelings about what society tells omegas, especially omega men, they can or can't do; his history; his understanding. But, as fucking confused as he is about all that, warring with himself and trying to figure out where he stands, it is easier to let it be. Without his bonded mate--really, with having just lost his bonded mate according to his body, that doesn't know it's been seventy years, it thinks it's been just a handful of weeks since Bucky "died", his mating cycles haven't started to try and re-calibrate, triggering themselves to get back on tracks. Bucky was the one his heats were synced to. His grief puts a halt to his regular cycles for now anyway. Besides, the suppressants that exist nowadays are so much better than those from Steve's time.
So, yeah, it's much easier to let the world think he is an alpha, using scent-blocking deodorant and body wash and all that, letting people believe that it's just the chivalrous thing Captain America would, of course, do because his alpha scent is so fucking strong, if he didn't, he'd have a multiple-block line of omegas trailing after him throughout New York City.
They don't know the truth.
No one really does. There are just one or two high-security clearance people at S.H.I.E.L.D. in medical that know because they're synthesizing an extra strong heat suppressant for when Steve's body does decide it will try to realign itself without his mate. The secret needs to be kept.
However.
That all fucking changes in the blink of an eye when, finally, fucking finally Sam, Nat, and Steve track down the Winter Soldier, or rather, the soldier tracks them down to a rundown metropolitan area, all empty warehouses, junk cars, and beat up loading docks. They're running (or flying, in Sam's case) through cracked concrete and warped metal, swearing they see the soldier around every corner and hearing him, too. Their coms are haunted by whispers of each of them believing to have heard his footsteps just ahead, the sound of his arm recalibrating just over their shoulder, his weapon cocking behind them, or the eerie, all-around them sound of his breath through his mask, filtered and almost Darth-Vader-esque (Steve knows that reference, thank you, Sam).
It's hours of a wild chase, running in circles.
A death spiral.
Until...
Steve chokes on his own spit, sweating through his stolen museum uniform, as he's rushed from behind.
He's hit.
There's a nanosecond of stunned shock before he registers what's happening--it's the muzzle of a gun shoved into his back unforgivingly and trying to throw him to the ground with the impact. Steve bends under the weight but throws his own mass to the side, not letting himself get pinned to the ground and effectively evading the heavy gun pressed against him. He's lucky that the soldier doesn't just shoot a hole through him.
As he rolls away from the impact. His back stings with hot, vicious pain. He slams his shield to the side and CLANG! rings the dinner bell. Metal on metal. The large, bulky machine gun the soldier is carrying clashing with his vibranium shield. The vibration of the hit rattles Steve's teeth in his jaw. He won't let himself be stunned again, though.
So, he throws more of his mass behind his shield when he gets both feet on the ground and strips the soldier of his biggest gun. But not before he fires off a handful of shots against his shield at point-blank range. The POP, POP, POP of the gun is so loud Steve is momentarily deafened, his ears ringing so badly that there's no sound at all. The heat of the gunpowder combusting radiates through Steve's shield back into his body--he can feel it in his arms. His heart races. The combustion is all he can smell. He doesn't need hearing or smell, though. Not when he's so close. He doesn't mind being burned alive, either. Not in his frantic state of mind. He's right fucking here. This is the closest they've come. They need to make this happen. And they need it now. So, he can take it.
He has to.
Another shove and the soldier loses his grip entirely. The big, heavy gun skids across the ground, scraped up and scratched on the concrete before finally slowing to stillness impressively far away from them. Already, though, the soldier is moving to grab another.
Steve needs to beat him to the punch. Brute force.
And so, he has no choice but to swing the shield away, leaving himself open to be hit, but sacrificing safety to hold onto the muzzle of the next much smaller handgun the soldier rips out of its holster.
Steve can't let him have it.
They struggle in the overcast, humid weather.
Strength-to-strength.
Hand-to-hand.
Breath-for-breath.
They're shockingly on par with each other, even as the soldier's arm recalibrates with a mechanical war cry, whining sharply through the ringing in Steve's ears. But ultimately, the handgun goes flying, too. Landing on the magazine, jostling it, and making it pop off in a random direction. It doesn't hit either of them. Steve doesn't hear Sam or Natasha close by either, so they're safe for now. He focuses on the fight he has in front of him, trusting they'll keep themselves out of harms way as best they can.
The gun just goes off once and then slides across the ground just as the other one had. The dragging sound of it is sickening like nails on a chalkboard. Steve wants to wince but can't risk it. His eyes have never been more goddamn open.
The soldier has a knife next. Not another gun.
Steve, through his exerted panting, lets out something of a sigh of relief, at least that shit can't make as much terrible, sharp fucking noise. It's also, y'know, good that the threat of having holes shot through him isn't as pressing. A knife is still bad, but he can work with a knife. He can.
He will.
Steve backs up, giving himself room to play. Both side-stepping for real and faux rushing in, Steve blocks every stab, cut, and swing the soldier throws his way, forcing him to make moves he wouldn't if he weren't brawling with Steve.
With more and more missed hits, Steve can see he's getting frustrated. He isn't tiring out because Steve isn't tired out. Not yet. He can do this all day. But the soldier is getting angry--it's the only flash of emotion he's seen on his face. Granted, he's never seen this much of his face before with his goggles gone. His mask is still firmly in place, though. Only his eyes are exposed--especially his eyebrows are exposed, 'cause they're so dark and expressive, furrowing in aggravation with what must be a vicious snarl.
The next thrown stabs are reckless. He's leaving himself open. Steve takes the window he's giving, exploiting it and using it to his advantage. Punching in.
Steve manages to get the knife away from him, too, but not before the soldier strips him of his shield entirely. It rattles against the ground like a coin dropped, rolling around its rim with an obnoxious clang!-groooooiinng-roooooiing-ooooooiinnnng-rnnnnng-rrrrrnnnng.
They're fists to fists then.
It could only be more vulnerable if they were bare knuckles to bare knuckes. That'd suck worse. The soldiers metal arm could surely best his flesh and bone to a bloody pulp easier than Steve could fuck over his metal architecture.
It's a rushing, messy blur of body-weight-thrown-behind-them punches and knee-sweeping kicks, getting knocked down and getting up, rolling and turning and tucking. At some fucking point, Steve's face down on the floor, fist thrown out into nothing but concrete, and he's gasping through his gritted teeth. His ribs hurt. He sees fucking red but it washes out, running pink and then clear like a bloody wound rinsed clean behind a faucet, as soon as he feels the soldier's organic arm wrap around his throat like a boa constrictor.
Shit.
Steve opens his mouth, gasping, not through his teeth this time. He fights that much harder. Motherfucker.
He twists like an alligator in a death roll, except he's not holding onto prey. He is the prey, and he desperately needs not to be. In the soldier's grasp, he lifts his leg and kicks it back hard. The soldier barely grunts, and instead of being deterred by his thrashing and kicking, he hauls Steve's body back as if he weighs nothing at all.
Steve twists harder and harder and harder and ends up with his nose in the soldier's armpit, his neck twisted and strained harshly to the side, tendons screaming at him. His vision is just starting to go fuzzy at the edges without oxygen, getting choked by the soldier so intensely, when--
Steve's choppy, barely successful inhale that fights to happen under the instinctive need for air, his lungs spasming and chest heaving even while his brain knows he won't find any oxygen--that inhale, it brings in the barest hint of a devastingly familiar scent.
Bucky.
The scent that's wafting off of the soldier's underarms is undeniably alpha, and it's choked with the acrid scent of distress and exhaustion. But, deeper, beneath that unpleasant, unwashed scent, it's just... that's... it's-! That's the smell of his alpha. Seventy years long dead. His alpha.
His alpha smells like sweet tobacco and fragrant cigarettes and summer sweat and well-loved leather and deep, old woods. His alpha smells like home. His alpha smells like himself. Bucky. His alpha used to smell, most of the time, like Steve. They were always all over each other, of course.
Steve can't tell if the soldier smells like him. For one, he's always slathered in scent blockers, so he's not even sure what he smells like without them anymore. And for another, the moment is there and then gone, so he doesn't get more than a single, earth-shattering whiff.
It's a faint whiff, even though the soldier's smell is so strong, but Steve knows what he fucking smelled.
He knows the truth.
His body knows the truth, dropping limp beneath Bucky, reacting so viscerally to his alpha. All the fight drops out of him.
Alpha.
His body screams for his alpha.
Steve doesn't even fucking do anything, he can't. His hindbrain works a million times faster than his conscious, logical brain. He folds to his alpha because that's what his innermost omega demands. That's what it wants. That's what it needs.
Bucky.
He needs Bucky.
He needs his alpha.
He misses his alpha so fucking much.
Steve whimpers, the call of his mate's designation right there on his lips, "a-alpha," but it dies before he can get it out. He doesn't have the air for it.
And in a fucking flash, before he's even processed what's happening in his logical brain, he's hard. His body and hindbrain are working overtime to push him. Hitting hyperdrive. He's wet. He's gutted with the sudden onslaught of heat rushing into him.
Heat.
Steve is on the cusp of spilling over like a little Dixie cup beneath a pouring, rushing faucet.
Pheromones. Fever. Slick. Cramps.
Heat.
He's tripping.
He is.
He is spilling over.
Steve is unraveling. Every constructed asset of Captain America peeling away beneath the terror and celebration he exists undeather, knowing that his bondmate is alive. Terror for what's become of him--what's been done to him--and celebration for knowing he's still alive, even if alive may be a stretch. He is a shell.
He is a shell because Steve's Bucky wouldn't choke him intent to kill. But the soldier does.
The soldier is.
The soldier is going to do him in.
The soldier would--the soldier will choke him out. The soldier will kill him. He will because he's been giving the opportunity on a silver platter, Steve's body limp. His instincts can't be overriden. The pure relieve and horror he feels. The rushing, rising tide of his stunted heat suddenly overcoming him. The soldier would murder Steve if not for Sam, who does a flying kick to Bucky's shoulder and knocks him away from Steve.
Bucky growls roughly, even more frustrated than before. But, something in him has changed. His eyes dart between Steve and Sam uncomprehending what's happening. There's the darkness of primal instinct behind those eyes. Steve desperately wishes he knew if it was his natural alpha instincts or whatever perverted, twisted instincts whoever did this to him placed in his broken mind.
This is Bucky, but this isn't Bucky.
Steve watches, heart throbbing in his crushed, hurting throat, as Bucky scrambles to his feet. Body lifting and moving with deadly precision, his metal hand clutches at his flesh and blood shoulder. It's sitting at an awkward angle compared to the rest of his body. Sam's kick must've dislocated it. Steve can't shove down his own growl, territorial over his alpha who's been abruptly dangled in front of his face, just out of reach.
Although Steve's possessive, mate mate mate protective instincts turn into a whine quickly. One of his hands lifts without his conscious input and stretches out toward Bucky. His fingers tremble, aching to soothe the hurt he's masking and aching to be soothed himself. Moments from every heat he's spent with his alpha over their life together flash before his eyes as his alpha's eyes bore into him, confusion plain as day, then realization, then horrified fear, and then he's scurrying away.
Bucky doesn't bother to grab a gun, knife, steal his shield, or anything. He's just high-tailing it out of there--there one moment and then gone the next and leaving Steve to deal with the aftermath.
Alone.
With no mate.
Entirely devastated.
Steve is choking and sputtering after being choked, feeling wet and sticky between his legs as the fever of heat really starts to sink its teeth into him. Jesus Christ. One smell of his alpha and his grieving, out-of-wack body has locked itself into a tailspin. Jesus Christ. He's so fucked. So not fucked. He remembers what his heats were like after the serum. They're unstoppable. Worse than they ever were when he was just a runt omega. He needs his alpha.
How's he going to survive one without him?
What is he supposed to do?
Steve has just begun to comprehend some of what unfolded, and he already feels helpless. He's crushed. There's nothing he can do.
Steve swallows a pathetic cry, stuffing it down his throat.
A cramp roils through Steve's shivering body. He ends up collapsing forward into a ball, his cowl-covered forehead hitting the concrete ground with a desperate, defeated clunk.
His ears are still ringing. His heart is still, of course, pounding. His nose tells him he can still smell his alpha, his perfect, familiar scent crowded by the scent of so much fucking pain. And his eyes squeeze shut that much tighter. So, he can't hear what Sam is saying. He can't see Natasha rush over. He can't parse out the questions they're asking him or the way they're touching him gently, trying to figure out where he's hurt, how badly he's hurt. Steve can do nothing but try and fail to grapple with the impending doom of knowing he's in for a week of agony without his alpha.
His alpha who is alive.
He has to find him.
He needs him.
P.S. if you enjoyed this pain™️ you'll like this orphaned fic, "it's gotta get easier somehow ('coz, i'm falling, i'm falling)"
I forgot about it until I finished this little drabble, but I've had it bookmarked forever, so, it probably inspired this subconsciously!
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idontplaytrack · 2 months ago
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Rejanis request!?! I'm at your service :)
Could you write some angst around Regina finding maybe an old suicide scar or maybe Janis wanting to get a semicolon tattoo? Ofc if that makes you uncomfortable you don't have to write it!
She left that girl at home
Janis ‘Imi’ike x Regina George
Warnings: mature themes. Mentions to suicide, past struggles with mental health. Coarse language, little bit of smut.
“Know a lot of girls
She's not the same
Waist long hair
Hides the pain
And the way she talks
About beauty and change
I still can't believe
What she was up against”
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“Hey, Reg? I want to get a new tattoo.”
Regina hummed, “Yeah? What?”
It took Janis a couple of seconds to respond since she was looking in the mirror in front of her to picture where she wanted the new tattoo. “A semicolon.” Janis answered, a soft sigh leaving her lips as she walked over to join Regina on the couch. Regina stopped moving, as though that one word was a big speech that was hard to process.
Janis let out a chuckle at Regina’s concerned expression then nodded, “You know what it means. I got through that part of my life and I’m okay, I’m happier than ever.”
“Was…was it because of…me?”
“A lot of things led up to it. You know how my parents were…fighting all the time. So I was at yours a lot until we fell out. But then I was just home all the time with all the yelling, cursing and swearing, the broken walls and doors and glass. I don’t know, one night…I just lost it. I wanted all that chaos and fear to end, but I had nowhere else to go to. No one else to turn to. You were…my only friend at the time. It felt like it even though I had Karen and Gretchen, because you were the only one I could trust. So…I…attempted.” Janis explained, pushing down the several bracelets on her wrist. Regina looked at it in a whole new light. It was an unspoken fact, how she got those scars on her wrist. But knowing why? Regina’s heart began to hurt.
“It wasn’t because of you, no. It was because somehow, losing my best friend felt like my world came to an end. You gave my life purpose, gave me a safe space. And then shit happened and all that went away without me having any other way to cope.” Janis continued, Regina held onto the brunette’s hands, listening attentively.
“When did that happen?” Regina’s voice was quiet, small. Unheard of for the Apex Predator.
“Like, two, three weeks after I got kicked out of school for lighting your backpack on fire.” Janis replied. A painful lump formed in Reina’s throat. She gulped, eyes glossing over with tears. “I’m okay.” Janis squeezed her hand.
“Anyway, I woke up in the hospital. And my Dad, he uh, I’ve never seen him cry in my life. I saw him sobbing. Then he saw me, awake. He hugged me. I don’t remember him showing me any affection growing up. And as shocked as I was, I needed that hug. Other than for the obvious reason, he also later told me Mom gave him divorce papers to sign. He signed them, we moved out into an apartment after I got released from the psych ward. The last time I saw my mom… was at dinner the night I ended up in the hospital. I don’t know where she went, but I was glad to have her out of my life. She…”
“She was a bitch, I know. You put tinsel in your hair and she freaked the fuck out and cussed you out.”
“She only wanted me to talk to her in Hawaiian.” Janis recalled, “It was so hard because no one else used it at home, and she just expected me to know. Well she tried to teach me at one point but I could never really sit still, so.”
“Well now you’re pretty much fluent.” Regina remarked, brushing her thumb over her knuckles, “So jokes on her, she was just pushing you too hard and had too little patience.”
“Yeah, Dad taught me. Spending summers here at home definitely helped.”
“So when are you planning on getting the new tattoo?”
“Well…I already have an appointment for tomorrow to get the traditional tattoo so I’m just going to ask while I’m there if they’re okay to do the semicolon for me too. Otherwise I’ll just find another place around here or go back another day.”
Regina liked the fact that the heaviness didn’t linger. Janis said she was okay, and she was. She was more than just ‘okay’. Her girlfriend was thriving, as was she. “Alright.” Regina nodded, leaning closer to press a kiss to the artist’s lips. “That was a pretty heavy conversation.” Janis started, “If you need a minute to just…feel, I get that. I can go to the other room for a bit.”
“It was, but thank you for telling me all of that. Thank you for trusting me, thank you for still being here. I love you.”
“I know, I know you do. I love you too.” Janis kissed her back, stroking the blonde’s cheek with her thumb.
Regina broke away from the kiss with a smile, “Are you nervous? About the tattoo? The traditional one. It looks very intricate.”
“Little bit.” Janis admitted, chuckling, “It’ll be worth it. It’ll mean a lot to me too, to have that part of my culture be a part of me.”
Their evening went on to be great. They had dinner at a fancy restaurant for the night— Regina made the reservation to give Janis a treat. And with the view of the ocean? Warm breeze blowing in their face? They couldn’t have felt more content.
After dinner came a walk on the beach near where they were staying for the remainder of the trip. They were staying with Janis’ family in the beginning but then moved over to a hotel after a week because they wanted some privacy. “Do you ever think about moving home?”
“I do, and I did. But I need more…opportunities. I don;t think I could get that here, though. Spent five years of my life here before uprooting to Chicago now we’re living in New York, as much as it sounds like a cliche. That’s where I could see me, be myself.”
“I agree with you, it’s a nice place to be. For creative things, the food, broadway shows. You said you’ve only ever seen The Lion King the whole time you lived here. I get it.” Regina chimed in, “We’re building a pretty great life for ourselves right now.”
They’ve been together coming up to a year now, and with a year left until college is officially done. So far, everything looks pretty damn good. After a good thirty minutes on the beach, the pair trekked back to their hotel before the sun fully set. They took a shower together, got dressed in comfy pyjamas and cuddled together under the covers to watch some TV to end off their night. Or not.
An innocent peck on the cheek swiftly turned into something longing and passionate. Regina kissed her over and over, slowly easing her onto her back, their lips never separated. “You wanna?” Regina muttered.
“Yeah.” Janis nodded eagerly, kissing Regina harder. Regina laughed, and retaliated. Janis moaned softly, making Regina want to hear more of that.
“I love you.”
“Mm.” Regina hummed, “I know, I know you do.”
“Fuck.” Janis whined, “Fuck me.”
Regina squished the smaller girl’s face by holding her chin, “As you wish.”
Their trip to Hawaii was much needed. It was Regina’s first time meeting Janis’ extended family and got to know them. But getting to know Janis like that, her opening up that much? Regina just wound up feeling more love and admiration for her girl.
“Good to be home.” Janis sighed, dropping her duffle bag on the hardwood floors.
“I actually can’t wait to go back.” Regina admitted.
“Yeah?” Janis chuckled, “The humidity didn’t bother you?”
“Well, actually the weather was pretty damn good for my back.”
“Oh, that’s true.” Janis recalled, smiling then leaning in for another kiss, “We’ll go back on our next break. Promise.”
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🏷️Tag list:
@arandomeee @ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128
💭A/N:
This one turned out way shorter than I thought it would. I’m sorry😭
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milaisreading · 1 year ago
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🌱🩷: ITH STORY IS HERE! CLAP FOR ME MEETING MY DEADLINES! It's like 5 minutes before midnight here!
Pairings: Yukimiya Kenyu x Manager!Yn (Post-Blue lock)
Warnings: Reader uses she/her
⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️
🎄Dec 17th🎄
"Marc! You can't run away like that! You give me a heart attack whenever I can't find you!" (Y/n) scolded the 10 years old boy, who pouted up at his aunt.
"Buuut~ I am so excited to see Santa again! Please, I don't want to be late." The boy said as he earned a sigh from the older.
"I understand, but please understand me too. Munich is a big place, and these Christmas markets are always so crowded, you can easily get lost. Especially when you don't know the language, Marc."
The boy pouted a little more before eventually nodding his head, albeit very slowly.
"I promise, we will see Santa tonight, we just need to wait for a friend of mine. He really wanted to join us."
"Who?!" The boy asked, his eyes brightened from curiosity.
"You know him, he plays for Bastard. Yukimiya Kenyu."
"The pretty player?! Uwah! He will really spend the night with us?!" Marc asked in excitement as (Y/n) chuckled and nodded her head at his eagerness.
"Of course. Now, let's go back to the entrance of the market. Yukimiya said he will meet us there." Marc nodded his head, grabbing her hand tightly as she dragged him along.
"I can't believe I got to meet so many pros! Your job must be exciting! Working with them and all."
(Y/n) smiled softly at Marc, shrugging her shoulders as she thought over his words.
"Well, they are my friends first of all, so I don't see it much as a job.  But yeah, I kind of am lucky knowing such great players." (Y/n) laughed as they finally approached the entrance. To her relief, Yukimiya wasn't there, yet.
"Now, be patient while waiting."
"I will! I will! I can't wait to meet Yukimiya! I want to ask him so many questions! Mainly how he plays so well and how he developed those skills."
(Y/n) looked at Marc, nodding along as she thought of the brunette.
'I wonder how Marc will feel after he hears our announcement later this week.'
☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄
1 month prior...
"So, when do you think we should tell our families we are engaged? My mom will probably faint from those news." Yukimiya chuckled as the two left for their apartment after another day of paperwork and training. (Y/n) hummed, looking at the night sky and back at Yukimiya.
"I don't know yet, Kenyu. I really want to tell it to the whole world, to be honest with you. But I don't know how to approach this with my dad and big bro." Yukimiya chuckled at her words, trying not to move closer, just in case someone recognized either of them.
"Come on, I am sure they will love me. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? Them telling me they will break my bones if I hurt you?" He said it in a very joking manner that (Y/n) felt bad for dragging him into all of this.
'If you knew.' She chuckled nervously, looking up at Yukimiya again.
"How... how about next month? Both of our families will be here for the holidays. We can invite them all to a dinner and rip off the band aid, you know?" (Y/n) suggested, in the back of her mind already prepared to see her dad and brother faint. Yukimiya hummed thinking the plan over.
"Not a bad idea. Our families can meet each other and the engagement can be announced that way. I like the idea, actually." Yukimiya agreed as (Y/n) sighed in relief.
"Good. Now, enough of that. What should we make for dinner?"
"I don't know. I feel like eating out or ordering tonight. How about some pizza? A new pizzeria opened not too far away from out apartment." Yukimiya suggested.
Afterwards, the couple talked about different things from today's work and plans on how to host their families.
☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄
Present time...
As (Y/n) kept on listening to Marc's rambling, she felt a soft tap on her shoulder, causing her to look back at the person.
"Ah~ Kenyu, you are here. Was it hard to get here?"
The brunette smiles softly and fixed his glasses as Marc grew quiet, staring up in awe at the man.
"Well, it was. The traffic is crazy, and with all the snow that fell it made it even harder." Yukimiya admitted.
"But, I am here now! What are the plans?" The footballer asked as (Y/n) placed Marc in front of her.
"Marc here wanted to see Santa first, afterwards we could walk around a little and get food at the end. My treat-"
"Nope! I'll be paying." Yukimiya quickly interrupted her, then got down to Marc's level.
"Hello there, I am Yukimiya Kenyu. Your aunt told me a lot about you. Is it true you want to be a pro footballer?"
"Yes!" Marc exclaimed, letting go of (Y/n)'s hand trove closer to Yukimiya.
"I am also a huge fan of yours!"
"Really? Your aunt forgot to say that." Yukimiya laughed, glancing at a flustered (Y/n).
"I am! I am! I really enjoyed watching your last play! That goal you made with Hiori's assistance was so spectacular."
As (Y/n) watched the duo interact like they are close friends, she felt like some weight was lifted off of her shoulders.
'Hmmm...' She chuckled and smiled softly at them.
🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️
"Marc, look over here." (Y/n) said, taking a picture of the boy while he sat on Santa's lap. Yukimiya quietly watched them, waiting for (Y/n) to return to talking to him.
"He is a really sweet kid." Yukimiya said to (Y/n), who looked away from her phone and up at him.
"He is." She nodded.
"He also likes you a lot."
"Well, I took care of him a lot when he was younger and my bro and sister-in-law would visit Japan. I think that's why he is so close to me, and I love him, too." (Y/n) admitted, discreetly moving closer to Yukimiya as Marc talked to Santa.
"And he likes you a lot, too, Kenyu." The words surprised the brunette and he looked over at her.
"Really? But, he just met me."
"Doesn't matter. He really looks up to you and your passion for the sport."
"Well, he will be over the moon to have such a handsome and talented uncle, soon." Yukimiya said, faking a smug look as (Y/n) hit his arm softly.
"You just had to go there." She rolled her eyes as Yukimiya laughed a little.
"You love it, don't lie."
"True." (Y/n) shrugged her shoulders. The brunette smiled in victory, but then his face turned serious.
"So, do you feel a little easier about the dinner in 2 days?" Yukimiya wondered, moving his hand to grab hers, making sure nobody saw it. (Y/n) took a deep breath. For a moment she watched Marc get up from his spot and saying his goodbye to Santa.
"I felt like throwing up the whole day, but now that I see how well you and Marc get along, I feel a lot much better." (Y/n) sent a soft smile towards Yukimiya.
"I am glad. If it continues bothering you, just tell me, ok?" Yukimiya said seriously, earning a nod from (Y/n).
"Aunt (Y/n)! Yukimiya! Can we go and eat now?!" Marc yelled as he ran up to them.
"Sure!"
"Yeah, let's eat now." The two adults agreed, letting go of each other's hands before anyone could see them.
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mrsfezziwig · 3 months ago
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Dear Stray Kids: Bang Chan
As part of the cheer up week for our lost children, I want to write to each, starting with our glorious leader.
𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 ℬ𝒶𝓃ℊ 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓃,
Young man, do you know that you don't need to be so humble? I wish you could see yourself the way that Stay does because it hurts that you don't believe you deserve all the love, awards, and commendations you have! For a long time, I have wanted to tell you that you need to let yourself shine! We all know you went through hell during training, that you may have considered ending your life, and that the Stray Kids members saved you. Watching you go through the loss of a member was painful even though I was not there to see it first hand and I hate that you apologised for something out of your control. JYPE is wrong to do that to you and we know that you must have been traumatised by it. We love that you would see us weekly like our therapist and obviously we miss you being part of our weekly routine but honestly, more STAYs get why it was necessary than it may seem. Some of your comments about yourself really broke us, because it was clear you truly don't see the absolute pureness that lives inside you. Before I never believed in Star Children, those sent by the universe to bring light and peace to as many lost souls as they can but now I absolutely do because you are one. Please make time to nurture your own mental well-being because even the strongest break eventually and, I can't lie, after Moonbin died and you said you couldn't eat or sleep I thought we would lose you to the Hell that South Korea can be too.
For some reason, you don't let yourself bask in the fact that you did it—you survived it, you became everything you dreamed of and more. You were tenacious and full of sheer will to make it, so please don't let your love for the other members stop you from letting your light shine. Give yourself more lines and more centre time because you earned it, and Stay wants to see your bright soul and smile more than your abs. Not that we are complaining, but I think most Stay would agree. Hearing your voice and seeing you dance is far more valuable. We want to see you relax and let loose as the idol you should be rather than hiding your light under a bushel.
'Genius' is an adjective I will forever link to you, because it was your raw emotional intelligence that saw how the members would fit together so perfectly. Not only that but your ability to find beats out of nowhere just shows that music is your purpose for being here. I love watching the recording behind-the-scenes videos just to see how, even when exhausted, you glow and laugh, proving your soul was crafted for music. Somehow you take the most everyday noises and mould them like clay to satisfy the ears and if anyone says you guys are 'just' noise music then they haven't even bothered to listen to your songs.
For many of us, Stray Kids make those hard days easier and help us handle the times we want to disappear. Thank you for being a leader who is steadfast and immovable, bringing so much joy to people all over the world. Just by being the respectful, kind, honest, and down-to-earth man you are, you show your younger fans what a real man is, who deserves their love and who does not. Some people say you are the reason for demanding such high standards in their relationships, and for me, as someone old enough to be your mother, I am relieved knowing that someone is teaching today's teens what is right and what to demand from someone.
Stay love you so much, and as a fandom, we want you to get some sleep! Please take a break and some time to absorb the past 7 years and rest. Honestly, if we received a statement that you were taking a couple of months off or maybe even a full hiatus, we would probably rejoice because your health is so important to us! It’s true that you are nearing 30, and if you don’t take the time to decompress while pushing yourself so hard, it will affect your long-term health! Rather than another album, we want to see you chilling for a bit, shaking off all the stress of the nonstop comebacks and touring. We’d prefer longevity over more music; you’ve been pushing for 14 years. Letting go a little isn’t illegal, and we all want a healthy, happy, fulfilled Christopher Bang over Bang Chan the idol.
Love yourself as much as we do, and we will never have to worry about the mistakes and the fear that you will burn out. You are human, so being self-critical is normal; however, it's obvious that the pressure of your trainee years has made you terrified to stop working. You never, ever, ever, EVER have to worry about whether you are doing enough, working hard enough, or putting on the best performance because your humanity is what we love most. Even bleary-eyed and with your hair sticking up everywhere, you are perfect in our eyes. So, take a break, for fuck's sake, we aren't going anywhere at all! And when you make it back refreshed, hop on a live so we can see your face and chat a bit. No matter what the future brings for you, keep that child-like love for the world that you have and we will smile indulgently at you all the while. It is obvious that that is the genuine you, not the forced persona of so many idols. That you are universally loved by kpop stans, not just STAY, speaks volumes about your authenticity and humble nature which is something I have only ever seen for you.
On that note, I shall go now. I pray you finally accept just what an unstoppable force you are, that the kids accept your hugs and there is never another pineapple in your burger!
With love from
𝒜 𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓎
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mattyriddlegf · 5 months ago
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The Stupid Closet (31)
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Happy Sunday release day everyone! Only 5 more chapters to release after this one, I can't believe we're almost at the end!
Enjoy!
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It was finally Saturday and your first week of classes was finished. You and Mattheo had studied together in the library a couple times, working on your divination project. It felt so natural to have full conversations with him and joke around although it was awkward at certain times. The two of you were adjusting to a new normal.
The group decided yesterday to hang out tonight, it’s been too long since all of you have gotten together and you all were feening for some quality time and alcohol.
You were in Draco and Blaise’ dorm for the first time since you and Mattheo broke up and it felt weird. While the two of you were on decent terms, the room alone took you back to that night. The night you first kissed him.
You’re in the room alone, trying to get the last bottle of vodka Draco had stashed in the closet. The very same closet. Blaise and Theo were getting more alcohol, Pansy was getting ready for the party (she had an obsessive need to look perfect for every event), and Draco was talking to Professor Snape or something so you were in the room alone at the moment.
You reach your arm up, trying to grab the bottle off the top shelf but Draco had pushed it to the back corner so it was out of your reach. You left your wand back in your dorm so magic wasn’t going to work…
You continue to reach, standing on your tippy toes until the door opens, Mattheo walking in.
You glance his way for a moment before you turn back around and continue trying to reach until he walks up behind you, touching your back lightly and grabbing the alcohol. 
“Thank you” you mutter out as he brings the bottle down to your level. Your faces are only inches apart as you both touch the vodka bottle, the only thing between you two.
“Sure” he whispers as he looks between your eyes and lips, “this feels familiar”
You look up to him and he has those eyes. THE eyes. The ones that say ‘I need you right now’.
“Stop looking at me like that” you say quietly, just above a whisper.
“Like what?” He asks, smirking.
“Like that.” You can barely hear yourself respond.
The eye contact was giving you goosebumps making you realize just how much you missed it. 
“You look good” He says as you part your lips.
“But-” You start to say before he grabs your cheek and connects your lips with his. The instant this happens, you melt. God you had missed this.
The kiss was soft and slow, you could feel every way your tongues danced together. It carries on, slow and sensual for a good minute or two before you pull away, “Mattheo…”
He raises his eyebrows waiting for you to explain yourself.
“I can’t. I’ll fall right back and-”
“Why is that such a bad thing?” He asks, his voice soft.
Before you can respond, Blaise, Theo, and Draco walk in with alcohol forcing the two of you to back away from each other. Theo seems to notice but continues talking to Blaise like nothing happened.
Pansy and Daphne walk in just moments later and immediately Pansy is reciting the gossip she just heard in the hallway walking here. As this happens, Theo finds his way to you, “Wanna tell me what happened with you two?” 
You glance across the room and see Mattheo looking back at you, “we kissed, it was nothing”
“It wasn’t nothing in the fall…” he trails off, looking at you. You had always found Theo’s dead eyes to be so beautiful…that and his italian accent.
“I don’t know” you turn towards him, “this is all just really weird”
“I know how to help” Theo states before he walks off and grabs a full bottle of liquor, “forget it ever happened”
“I like the way you think Nott” you smirk before taking the bottle out of his hands and taking a large swig of the alcohol. It burns going down but you know that it’ll kick in pretty soon and you’ll completely forget about the kiss.
An hour later and you were all playing strip poker. You had lost your shirt but everyone had decided to ultimately gang up on Draco and he was practically naked by now.
You get up from your spot and stumble your way over to Mattheo’s spot, reaching for the bottle in his hands.
“I think you’ve had enough” he says, bringing the bottle out of your reach.
“No I haven’t” you pout, still trying to reach for it. 
“Oh really? How many fingers am I holding up?” he asks. He holds up his hands but your vision sways a little bit so you give him your best guess.
“Six” you slur, holding your own fingers up.
“I only have one hand up. You’re done for the night” He stands up and grabs you by the arm, guiding you to the door of the dorm, “Theo can you help? She’s drunk, I’m taking her back”
Theo stands up and guides your back. The two of them lead you to your very own dorm. Once the door is open, you run to your bed and lay down on your stomach. Mattheo sighs as Theo starts walking up to you, “wait.”
This stops Theo in his tracks, “Let me do this. Please.” Mattheo pleads to him.
Theo looks between you and Mattheo for a moment before snapping his eyes shut and rubbing his forehead, “alright fine but-”
“I know” Mattheo finishes his sentence as Theo walks out. He hesitates for a second before he shuts the door.
Mattheo walks over to you and lifts you off your bed but you resist, wanting to sleep, “nope, you gotta change first”
He sits you up but leaves you sitting on the bed as he shuffles through your dresser drawers, finding something for you to wear to bed.
He comes back with the very same shirt you had kept of his. As he tries to put it on you, lifting your arms over your head you respond, “not this shirt”
“Why not?” he asks, not stopping trying to get it on.
“Because it smells like you” you slur, pointing at him. He continues putting it on, even with you being difficult, “it makes me want to sleep with you”
He tries to hide his little smirk as he laughs, “Is that right?”
“Yup. I couldn’t give it back because I love it too much” He was desperately hoping you would replace the ‘it’ with ‘you’. I love you too much is what he wanted to hear.
“It looks better on you anyways” He responds. You close your eyes, suddenly sleepy, “let's get you in bed, yeah?”
As you lay down and get under your sheets, you say, “Matty”
“Yeah?” 
“I liked the kiss. I miss you.” 
He hesitates before responding, “me too”
You close your eyes to go to sleep and only a moment later do you feel him lean down and kiss your forehead before walking out and shutting the door. 
It doesn’t take you long to fall asleep, Mattheo’s kiss invading your dreams. It was happening all over again.
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