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theorangelifeofriley · 3 years

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Honolulu: Pearl Harbor, Punchbowl

July 24, 2021

We were to meet our driver at 8am this morning for our day at Pearl Harbor and the Punchbowl. There was much confusion about what to pack, since Pearl Harbor doesn’t allow bags at all – except maybe a small clear sandwich bag. I brought my home made wristlet – made out of a clear sandwich bag and some duck tape. We all packed things in my little wristlet for the day.

We got down to the little sitting area next to the pull-through driveway and our group was congregated with our guide for the day, Olav. Olav told us that we didn’t actually have anywhere to be until 1:30pm, so we had some time to make sure that we all had what we needed. And also that he would be with us all day and we’d be in the same car all day. He also strongly recommended hats and water bottles. We made several trips back up to the room to grab things. We also learned that Olav is unvaccinated, doesn’t believe in COVID-19, and is a staunch Republican who believes in his “Constitutional rights.” He is also an incredible font of knowledge about Pearl Harbor, and only occasionally threw in some of his slanted views. There is no way I’m going to be able to capture, or remember, all the information he told us – it was a continuous stream of knowledge for about 8 hours.

Eventually, we had all of our stuff, and we walked to the 15-passenger van, parked on the street behind the hotel. After we got settled, Olav took off through the city to the Punchbowl. The Punchbowl is a volcanic crater in the hills surrounding Honolulu. The center is a bowl – the crater – and they punched a hole through one of the crater’s rims to allow entry into the bowl. Hence the name – Punchbowl. Inside the Punchbowl is a national cemetery. There’s a monument at the end of it, and on the steps up to the monument is where Hawai’i holds memorial services for Veteran’s Day and Dec. 7. We’re not allowed to get out inside the Punchbowl, but we can drive through. Lining the driveway in the Punchbowl are Banyan trees donated to the US from China. China was our ally during World War II, and we helped to defeat the Japanese who had invaded and were conquering China. There are 48 trees, which represent the 48 states at the time of World War II. They’re beautiful trees that have been groomed to prevent additional roots from taking root.

The area is quiet and calm, and beautiful. There are no traditional white headstones like in Arlington. Instead, the headstones are flat. They used to be white wooden crosses but were changed to flat stone headstones to respect other religions – and allow for easier maintenance.

From the Punchbowl, we drove to Pearl Harbor, and to the USS Missouri BB 63, which is now a museum. As we drove through the city, Olav pointed out a neighborhood that burned when a bomb went astray on Dec. 7, 1941. He also described in detail what happened on Dec. 7, 1941 – the day Pearl Harbor was attacked. We learned about the SS Cynthia Olson which was sank en route from the mainland and Honolulu by a Japanese submarine on the morning of Dec. 7, 1941. The passenger ship was carrying two soldiers to Honolulu but was a passenger ship. There’s a photo of the Cynthia Olson as it was sinking taken by a Japanese soldier on the submarine. The Cynthia Olson got a may day call out, and another passenger ship heard the call. That second passenger ship confiscated all the passenger’s binoculars and assigned watch duty to the passengers. When that ship landed, the USA government confiscated all of their radio records and logs. Olav believes the records were confiscated because they show the time of the Cynthia Olson’s may day call. If that call happened before the bombing at Pearl Harbor, but was ignored, it would look very bad for the US military command.

As we entered the Pearl Harbor base, we drove to a parking lot and Olav left us to get an officer who cam back and searched our van for bags. Once that was done, we drove over the bridge to Ford Island and the USS Missouri BB-63. BB-63 stands for Battle Boat 63 – the 63rd battleship the US built. This is necessary because there have been four USS Missouri’s. The current USS Missouri is a submarine that was also docked at Pearl Harbor today. Of course you can’t call it BS-63 (battleship 63) – so battle boat 63 it is. The BB-63 was the last battleship built in the world, the most powerful, and the last one to retire. It was launched during World War II, saw battle in the Battle of Okinawa, was where the Instrument of Surrender was signed by the Japanese to officially end World War II, served in the Korean War, was decommissioned in the 60s, then refitted in the 80s, saw duty in Desert Storm, before finally being retired in the early 90s, then being made into a museum. Its parked in Battleship Row – where all the Battleships were anchored on Dec. 7.

Olav told us a lot about how the Pacific Fleet came to be in Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7 – but then he seemed to contradict himself. The first story was that FDR ordered the Pacific Fleet to all be at Pearl Harbor as a “show of strength” to deter the Japanese. The Admiral of the Pacific Fleet thought this was stupid, because normally the Pacific Fleet rotated between several locations, and there was not enough of a supply chain, let alone docking berths, to allow the entire fleet to be in Pearl Harbor. He resisted, basically told FDR he was dumb, and lost his job. He had worked on the supply line, though, and worked on the docking situation too – which is how Battleship Row came to be.

As he told this story, I gathered that the next Admiral did as FDR wished and assembled the entire Pacific Fleet in Pearl Harbor. Olav made a point to say that FDR ignored the military advisors, and his Admiral, and all their knowledge to demand the fleet be in Pearl Harbor. Later, he told us that every year, the Admiral of the Pacific Fleet was required to inspect the fleet in Pearl Harbor. This always occurred on the Monday after the first Sunday in December. In 1941, that was Dec. 8. The Fleet was required to report to Pearl Harbor 24 -48 hours in advance of the inspection. Which then means that the fleet was assembled in Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7 in preparation for the inspection on Dec. 8 – which doesn’t seem to have a lot to do with FDR.

The deck of the Mighty Mo is covered in teak, which they did to preserve the steel deck, to lower the temperature inside the boat, and to provide a natural nonslip surface. The teak on the deck has been replaced three times, all using different processes. One time they messed up trying to save money by putting 1 inch of Douglas Fir below 1 inch of team (instead of 2 inches of teak) – not realizing that Douglas Fir rots faster than teak.

During WWII, the Missouri was attacked by a Kamikaze, which was captured perfectly on camera. We saw the place where the Kamikaze’s wing impacted with the Missouri. We also saw footprints on the deck where our personnel stood as they buried the Kamikaze pilot at sea as directed by the Missouri’s captain.

We toured the inside of the ship, which was interesting. They had several displays with stuff from the Missouri, the history of the Missouri, remnants from the Kamikaze attack, etc. We walked through the galley, the kitchens, the offices – including the dental office – the food lines, including the donut shop, the fast food line, and the Truman line, so called because the Truman family visited and used that food line. There were crew quarters everywhere – berths stacked 3 high, and each sailor’s locker. The kitchens were crazy – the appliances were huge, and they had everything you could want! Well, all the kitchen toys you could want. The Missouri was the first ship to have a network of interconnected computers which they called MO-Net. This was all before the internet was created. The inside of the Missouri was extensive – it seemed to go on and on. We saw throughout the ship ammunition chutes. And a couple of places that would be vulnerable to armor piercing rounds which can pierce through 16” of steel – so these areas were outfitted with 17” think steel. The guns on the ship were huge and could take out a target 25 miles away. The guns had to be fired over the water, because the rounds were fired at twice the speed of sound, and the concussion would tear the ship apart if the guns were fired over the ship. Missouri, the state, was responsible for providing the fancy silverware and place settings – which is interesting. There was a great map that showed where all of the different USS Missouris served. We saw the Chief’s lounge, and the Captain’s lounge, which was also used as a war room, and the tables can be used as operating tables in a pinch. It was a great insight into what the ship would have looked like while it was in service.

When we were finished touring the inside of the boat, we went to the deck, and then to the Quarter Deck. On the Mighty Mo, the Quarter Deck has been renamed the Surrender Deck, because it was where the Japanese surrendered to the Allied Forces to end World War II. Olav told a story about how MacArthur stepped out of the navigation bridge to walk down to the Quarter Deck but noticed that the Japanese contingent hadn’t arrived yet. So he went back inside, saying, “I’m not going to wait for them. They will wait for me.” He also told us that the British brought a fancy table they wanted to use for the signing, but the papers they were signing were too large to fit on the table. The Missouri’s Captain ordered a seaman to grab a folding table from the ship, and they used that. One of the Japanese had a false leg, and as he was coming up to sign the papers, he stumbled and hit one of the legs of the folding table. The crew, who knew it was a folding table, held their breath for the rest of the ceremony – hoping that the table didn’t collapse. (It didn’t.)

On the Surrender Deck, there is a plaque where the table was and the documents were signed. There’s also a display with replicas of the documents. On the replicas, you can see that the Canadian representative signed on the wrong line on the first document. There’s a picture of someone making sure that he signed on the correct line on the second copy!

They’ve positioned the Missouri so that the bow of the battleship points to the bow of the USS Arizona. The ship that started the US involvement in WWII and the ship where WWII ended pointing to each other.

We finished on the Missouri, went to the gift shop, got some Dole Whip, and then drove to the Pearl Harbor Memorial area for lunch. Lunch was at a permanent food truck outside, and was decent, although Meg and Marie didn’t like their nachos or hot dog. After lunch, we went to watch a 20-minute movie about the attack on Pearl Harbor, before making our way to the ferry to the USS Arizona Memorial.

Olav detailed how the attack happened but of course I’m not going to remember everything. There were three waves of attacks – the dive bombers, the torpedoes, and the other type of bombers. Eek. They came from different directions, and in two separate waves. There were about… or over?... 300 planes in total. The battle lasted for 2 hours. Most all of the ships that were sunk were eventually retrieved and put back into service, except for the Arizona, the Oklahoma, and the Utah. The Japanese adjusted bombs? Or torpedoes? With an additional fin that allowed them to fun in the shallow waters of Pearl Harbor and hit Battleship row. I think Olav also indicated that the aerial bombers were not the ones that caused the most damage, generally – it was the torpedoes.

The ride out to the memorial was quick – the warnings about not misbehaving on an active Navy boat were almost as long as the ride itself. Once the ferry docks, we disembarked, and headed back to the back room. The memorial itself is a white concrete building. The architect was a survivor of the Nazi concentration camps and wanted to build the memorial to remember the lives that were spent to save and free so many across the world, including in the concentration camps. The structure is a loose U-shape. The low point in the middle represents initial defeat at Pearl Harbor. The inclines on either side represent the slow climb to victory in Europe and the slow climb to victory in the Pacific. There are seven cut outs along either side and the top, which were for structural integrity, but have later been said to represent a 21-gun salute. The structure is situated across the middle of the sunken USS Arizona – the ship heaviest hit by the attack on Dec. 7. 1,177 seamen were lost with the Arizona and never recovered. Another 41 of the survivors, or relatives of those lost, have chosen to be interred in the Arizona.

As soon as I set foot on the dock, I smelled the oil or gasoline from the wreck. You could see it on the water, too. There is oil still leaking from the ship and will continue to leak for decades more. There were a lot of people at the memorial, but it was mostly quiet, as is fitting. We walked right back to the room where the names of those buried here are displayed. It’s made of the same marble as the headstones in Arlington. The room is beautiful but somber.

Just outside of that room is a hole in the floor of the structure that is situated over a part of the ship. I didn’t see much there. Outside, on either end of the structure, there are two white buoys that represent where the bow and the stern of the ship are. There are also pieces of the ship, like the gun turrets, and the flag staff, that are still sticking out above the water. It was a moving experience.

After the ferry back to the main site, we went and toured the USS Bowfin – a retired submarine that is only 27’ in circumference. It was tiny, and holy cow does it seem miserable to have served on it. They call it the Silent Service – the work of the submarines. The Bowfin was launched on Dec. 7, 1942, and was therefore nicknamed The Pearl Harbor Avenger. The kitchen was tiny, and only had minimal toys. Olav tells us that the food was cooked on the mainland, frozen, and placed in the submarine’s freezers.

The worst thing was hot bunking. There were only 36 bunks on board the submarine, but about 86 sailors on board. So they rotated beds – multiple people shared a bed. With the temperatures on the submarine running in the 90s or 100s, the beds were wet with the other guy’s sweat. Yuck.

The doorways between the areas of the ship were so small and short too! It was a workout to squat and contort myself through the doorways.

After the Bowfin, we drove back to the city Olav was kind enough to drive us to Costco. This Costco is the busiest on in America. I didn’t go in, but the parking lot was crazy! Anne, Aimee, and Marie went in to get food for the next few days, and they did a great job! Then, it was back to the hotel, and our time with Olav was over. He is a knowledgeable, talkative tour guide to be sure!

Back in the room, some of us split up for naps and downtime until dinner at 6:30. Rileys, Drew, and Todd stayed at our place to watch the Olympics and drink the 5th of rum we bought the night before. Todd made us a whole series of frozen drinks that were great, and did the job! We had a raucous good time watching Men’s Street Skateboarding, where the athletes wiped out more than they landed tricks. It was brutal!

We had tacos for dinner, and continued watching the Olympics, and the activity on the ocean. From our view from the living room and our balcony, we can see all the hundreds of surfers always hanging out on the water, and the couple that actually make surfing runs. There’s a lot of boat traffic, including a lot of boats that go out to watch the sunset. There’s also a surprising number of large cargo ships that travel pretty close to this beach. It was a great time tonight!

#alohabeaches #july24 #2021 #hawaii #honolulu #pearl harbor #punchbowl

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newcaptainofsquad9 · 4 years

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I Can’t Handle You Being Back~Chou Tzuyu x black! fem! reader {4}

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Pairing: Tzuyu x reader

Summary: You’re still acting careful around Tzuyu as the both of you start to practice more and grow closer as you both had did five years ago. Your rekindling friendship starts to bloom to something more as you guy's duo performance at JYPEs showcase crawled closer, your feelings start to grow into something more until someone gets in the way.

Word Count: 2, 917

Writer's Note: Chapter 4! I hope yall enjoy and keep the comments coming, I'm glad you're loving the fic. If you have any requests send them my way and if you sent some in I'll get to them soon.

Another music show performance of I Can’t Stop Me drained me for the entire day. We arrived back to the dorms and I collapsed in my bed immediately and groaned while Jeongyeon flopped on right beside me.

“So, how’d I do this time?” I asked with a muffle caused by the pillow.

Jeongyeon nudged her shoulder against me.

“You did amazing as always,” she said. “Now are you really going to stay in bed? It’s not even eight yet.”

“No, no! Y/N the day has just begun!” Sana shouted, jumping onto the other side of the bed, squishing me in between her and Jeongyeon. “We’ve got so much planned!”

I’m able to turn onto my back to meet Sana’s face clouded in over excitement.

“Like what?” I said.

The moment the words leave my mouth, Dahyun and Nayeon strolled into the room with huge grins on their faces.

“We’re all playing games!” Nayeon announced. “Mina’s getting her switch step up now!”

“You got to join us Y/N!” Sana said as she wrapped me in her arms.

“Fine!” I said as I struggled a bit in her grip. “Just let me get up already.”

Jeongyeon’s already on her feet, pushing a giggly Sana playfully while she helps me to my feet.

“So,” I said as the five of us trek down stairs. “What are we playing?”

“Well, I kind of stalked your Instagram again and found your Twitch account,” Sana said, rather innocently with her hands behind her back. “I found that you love Dragon ball fighterZ so I begged Mina to buy it!”

“We both found it Sana,” Nayeon groaned.

They both bicker a bit; Jeongyeon and I met eyes with faces matching in confusion.

“You could have just asked instead of stalked,” I said.

“I know,” Sana said. “I just didn’t know how to ask. I know you’ve been with us for almost a month now, but it’s pretty crazy to have you here after five years.”

Sana’s eyes cut to the floor. Her excited demeanor now replaced with something more reserved and sheepish. I take her hand with a grin before shaking her gently.

“And I’m not going anywhere anytime soon OK?” I declared.

Sana nodded and pulled me into a bear hug before she skipped over to the carpet of the living room where Chaeyoung and Mina sat putting the Switch together.

Tzuyu, Jihyo and Momo sat on the couch facing Mina, Chaeyoung and the television. My eyes landed on Tzuyu, nothing but a smile spreads across her face. It’s not huge or anything, yet I still don’t know how to act around her. She defended me a few nights ago, not only in front of Onces but the entire world: it set the entire internet a blaze. Of course the loyal Onces stayed true and cheered Tzuyu and I on in helpful ways. (There are some that are already shipping us and dubbing us “Rush Hour line” due to whatever reasons, even though Tzuyu’s not from China and---they got the spirit but it’s still tone deaf and a bit racist on both of our parts.)

Then of course the netizens had their take on it, but I don’t pay attention to them that much anymore.

“You could sit here if you want, Y/N,” Jihyo said as she gestured to the spot between her and Tzuyu.

Tzuyu nodded, solidifying my decision as I take the seat.

Nayeon sat beside Momo and purposely covered the gap of space between her and Jihyo while eyeing Jeongyeon.

“Oh, Jeongyeon no more room,” Nayeon said. “Guess you’ll have to sit in my lap.”

Jeongyeon shook her head, yet the redness of her cheeks remained. She slapped Nayeon’s arm.

“Quit playing,” she whined, then whispered something to Nayeon, who moved her arms immediately and smirked.

I look between Jihyo and Tzuyu, trying to ask what’s the deal between those two. Jihyo caught on as she leaned in towards me with a giggle.

“They’ve somewhat had a thing since pre debut,” she explained. “They love each other to death, but it’s really complicated at times.”

“Oh, makes a lot of sense,” I whispered.

The living room filled with the opening music to Dragon Ball FighterZ blasting around us.

“All right!” Chaeyoung announced as she hopped up. “Who’s ready for the greatest tournament the world will never witness?”

“Why would it be never Chae?” Tzuyu asked with a snicker.

“Because we aren’t playing it for Time to Twice or V live or anything,” Chaeyoung said. “Unless you guys want to.”

A collective unit of no’s came from everyone.

“Week got a week off before that stupid KBS JYP special we have to rehearse for,” Nayeon groaned. “I need time off from the cameras and time to get drunk.”

She rose to her feet, and disappeared in the kitchen.

“Grab me and beer too!” Jeongyeon called.

“Are you guys even playing?” I asked.

“Nope,” Nayeon and Jeongyeon said in unison as they each cracked open their beers respectfully.

“What about the rest of you?” I said. “I know Sana happened to spur this on during the last minute.”

“Oh I’m defiantly playing,” Chaeyoung said as she wrapped her arms around Mina. “Mina is too, right babe?”

Mina giggled and nodded.

“I’ve been playing since the game dropped, but I only played it with my brother back in Japan so I haven’t tried it out on Switch yet,” Mina explained. “Playing on camera won’t be a bad idea for future uploads for Once.”

“I’m playing too!” Sana said with a grin. “What about you Dubu?”

Dahyun shook her head.

“Nope, I think I’ll kick back, and cheer you on as much as I can,” Dahyun said as Sana wrapped her arms around her.

“I’ll sit this out too,” Jihyo said. “It’ll be interesting to see how long Nayeon and Jeongyeon stay sober this time.”

Nayeon gives Jihyo the finger; Jihyo pushed her playfully and I turn to Tzuyu, who’s eyes were on me then averted to the TV.

“You playing too?” I asked, while trying not to seem like I caught her wondering eyes.

Tzuyu shrugged.

“Why not?” she said. “As long as I can play against Chae first.”

Chaeyoung let out a roar.

“You’re on Tzu!”

***

A few hours crawled past: Dragon Ball FighterZ night escalated with Mina and I going up against each other with a tied set. It’s 3 to 3, this game would settle. Sana, Jihyo and Tzuyu huddled up behind me while Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Momo rallied behind Mina; Jeongyeon and Nayeon were slumped on the couch, cheering us both on when they could.

“C’mon babe, you got this!” Chaeyoung shouted.

I bit down on my lip as Mina zoned out my final character, Goku with her own, Vegeta. This was not only a stressful, but the final fight was reflective of Goku and Vegeta’s rivalry that ran deep in the anime. My heart pounded in my ears as the time of the round continued to slip by as I waited for any mistake. Mina didn’t yield as she fired the energy blasts my way. I blocked every one, even through Chaeyoung’s insistent cheering. My hands started to twitch and I took a deep breath.

“You got it Y/N! Just focus!”

My body jolted at who shouted just as loud as Chaeyoung: Tzuyu.

I moved, jumped over Mina’s blasts and then she vanished. Vegeta appeared behind Goku, aiming to make the finishing blow. My finger almost slipped from the analog stick, but I blocked and reflected the hits Mina tried. There’s the opening I needed! I struck. Getting Vegeta up in a simple combo and ending it with a level 1 special move to ensure victory.

“Nooooooo!” Chaeyoung groaned.

“Damn,” Mina said. “Great stuff Y/N. Good games.”

We shook hands, then giggled it off with a tight hug.

“Great job Y/N!” Jihyo cheered as both she and Sana took me a bear hug.

I melted into them, even allowing Sana to kiss my cheek before she pulled back with a chuckle. Jihyo kept her arms around me however, and whispered a quick ‘I’m so proud of you’ before slinging off to deal with Jeongyeon and Nayeon. They’re already asleep: Jeongyeon’s head laid on Nayeon’s chest as they snored softly.

“Can someone help me get these two to bed?” Jihyo asked.

Mina, Sana and Chaeyoung helped upon request as a confused Nayeon grumbled over who won.

“Congrats Y/N!” Nayeon shouted with a smile.

I mumbled a thank you and watched everyone file out the living room. All except Tzuyu, who took my hand--and I froze. My heart pounded yet again, proof that I’m still alive and Tzuyu hasn’t crushed me. Dahyun caught my gaze, then threw a wink my way as she left the room arm in arm with Momo. I’m not even going to ask what they’ve got going on. It’s complicated and I’ll figure out with time.

“I knew you could win,” Tzuyu said. “I doubted it a lot since Mina’s so good.”

I shivered as she walked around to face me; she looked nervous too.

“You sure you believed in me till the end?” I asked.

Tzuyu nodded sharply.

“You have this face where your entire body goes still and you just become sharper,” she explained. “You look pretty--ah! Pretty lame when it happens.”

Tzuyu’s face grew red; I scratched my arm in embarrassment. Maybe this is real after all. Still same Tzuyu being sly when giving a compliment.

“Yeah, and it was totally lame cheering me on right?” I countered.

Tzuyu shrugged and turned away.

“I-I should let you go rest,” I said. “Pretty long day, right?”

Her head whipped back to me, the red color in her face left.

“I-I wasn’t going to yet,” she said. “Um, is it OK if we talk? I-It’s about our KBS performances in a few weeks.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course,” I said.

Tzuyu let go of my hand and gestured to the couch. We sat, giving us enough space between but not as much as we gave a dew weeks prior. This is the first moment we’re alone, no other members or managers among us. Just Y/N and Tzuyu. I can’t help but think back to five years ago: how exhausted we were in the JYP dance rooms at 5 a.m. as sweat clung to us. We didn’t care though; the smiles continued even through the hardships until--

“Y/N,” Tzuyu said. “Are you all right?”

I met her confused gaze and I couldn’t help but think back to the days of Sixteen, my elimination and eventually her own elimination. The tears that she shed, begging me to stay on Korea and breaking her heart by saying no.

I shook my head at her question.

“What about you? Tzuyu?” I asked. “You were right about before, I have no idea how much I hurt you while leaving.”

“Y/N--”

“I’m so sorry Tzuyu,” I said cutting her off.

Tzuyu destroyed the space between us and hugged me flush to her, shocking me in the process.

“I’m sorry too,” she whispered. “I frightened you, didn’t I? You’re back now, that’s all I ever wanted was my best friend back.”

Her voice shook. A hint of tears threatened to spill but I pulled back to cup her face. Our eyes met again, even through the emotion that clouded and covered her face, she still looked beautiful. She leaned in, making my heart pump faster and faster.

“Your heart is so loud,” Tzuyu said with a giggle.

I inhaled as she pressed a firm kiss to my forehead.

“I-It’s just excited to know we’re on good terms, right?” I said.

“Yes,” Tzuyu groaned. “What else do I have to do to prove it to you?”

Her question made me blush a bit at how close she once was. Tzuyu must have picked up on it as her face grew red.

“You don’t have to do anything else,” I let out quickly as I grabbed her hand. “Well, you could help me brainstorm what we could do for our KBS performance.”

Tzuyu nodded, her face brightened up.

“Yeah! Well, Momo unnie is doing a solo so that leaves the nine of us. I think Chaeyoung, Dahyun and Sana are doing a set. We could pair up together if that’s OK,” she suggested.

I nodded as Tzuyu rubbed her thumb over the back of my hand.

“Yeah, we should pick a song. What about something from Rihanna,” I said.

Tzuyu chuckled as a wistful look overtook her face.

“Oh gosh, do you remember our performance on Sixteen? What song was it?” she asked.

“Oh my God, I remember!” I said. “We were too young to be dancing to S&M anyway!”

Tzuyu fell into a fit of laughter that I thought I wouldn’t have been able to see ever again. It’s like she said, we’re best friends again and I can’t help but feel like I can’t function from all the excitement bubbling up inside.

“Would you want to do that song again?” she asked.

“Not really--”

I was cut off by a yawn that forced itself abruptly.

“We’ve got plenty of time,” Tzuyu said as she stood. “You need to rest.”

“So do you,” I said as she took my hand and led us up stairs.

The door to Jeongyeon, Momo and I’s room was shut, so I had to be a bit careful of stepping in to not awaken them.

“Well, thank you for believing in me,” I whispered. “And becoming my best friend again.”

Tzuyu only nodded and brought me into her arms again. I hugged back, burying my head against her chest. She had hints of perfume from earlier, along with the warmth that she always carried whenever I needed her. Now she’s back and I didn’t need to worry anymore; I could breathe around her. I relaxed in her arms so much so that I didn’t want to let go; Tzuyu didn’t either as she gently rubbed my back.

“You sure you’re all right?” Tzuyu whispered, the sensation of her words warming my chest.

She pulled back to examine me, her arms not yet leaving my back.

“Y-Yeah, I just miss your hugs is all.”

Tzuyu smiled, kissed my forehead and squeezed me tightly again before letting me go.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight,” I said, leaning the frame of the door until she disappeared in her own room.

I did the same, albeit, carefully in case Jeongyeon and Momo were asleep. My hunch was right: Jeongyeon was snoring softly on her bed and Momo laying on her own while scrolling through her phone.

“So, did you kiss her goodnight?” Momo teased.

My breath caught in my throat even at the mere thought.

“N-No, “ I stammered. “We hugged. W-We’re friends.”

Momo shrugged.

“So were Mina and Chae and now look at them.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered as I got in my own bed. my mind still on how warm Tzuyu felt.

We just got back to being friends again, but I couldn’t help but think about how it would be if I did kiss her. No, she’s my band-mate. I can’t think like that, not anymore.

***

Morning arrived quickly, even through the nonexistent dreams I still thought of Tzuyu and Momo’s words. Maybe I should talk to Jihyo about how Mina and Chaeyoung happened, even with Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s situation there had to be some agreement between the other members.

I waited until one groggy and hungover Jeongyeon rolled out of bed to help with breakfast, and for Momo to slunk behind her groaning about food. I shot a text to Jihyo for her to meet me here to talk privately. A knock soon came, forcing me to sit up and take a deep breath.

“You can come in!”

Jihyo entered with a toothy grin and a sigh.

“Sorry, I had to make sure Momo didn’t take all the food again,” she said as she sat beside me on the bed. “What’s up? Are you holding up OK?”

I nodded sharply; Jihyo noticed the nervousness and slid close to put an arm around me.

“Breathe Y/N,” Jihyo reassured. “We didn’t overwhelm you yesterday, did we?”

“No, of course not. It was really fun!”

“Yeah?” Jihyo said as she squeezed me gently. “What about the other members?”

“Ah, about that!” I said. “It’s about a member uh, Tzuyu.”

Jihyo nodded. The smile dropping from her face.

“She hasn’t been giving you hard time, has she?”

“N-No, actually the opposite,” I said. “She’s been really cool. So cool in fact that I-I- our friendship picked up right where it left off five years ago. Jihyo I think I might like Tzuyu. Like her in a romantic way.”

Jihyo nodded throughout every word, but stopped once I finished.

“Yeah, I had a feeling,” Jihyo said. “She always had eyes for you only, you should have seen her whenever you sung or performed five years ago. Saying she was mesmerized would be too simple.”

My face grew hot.

Really? I saw pieces of it last night, but to this level?

“Nothing’s simple with any of us, is there?” Jihyo asked. “That’s why I’m going to let you do what you think is right as long as it doesn’t hurt either of you emotional, physically or harm your public image. However, I do have to let you know one thing before you let Tzuyu know anything.”

“W-What’s that Jihyo?” I asked.

“I like you too.”

57 notes · View notes

pickalilywrites · 3 years

Text

it’s my first fic since i started my job ❤ i hope you enjoy ^^

..........

You and Me at the End of the World

Falbi. SF8 AU.

11194 words.

Read on Ao3!

»»————- April 3, 2026 ————-««

Falco wakes, a sigh escaping his lips. He feels an incredible weariness in his bones as if he had run a marathon yesterday even though he hasn’t really had PE in a month. He hasn’t had PE since his teacher had run off just like everyone else did when they heard that an asteroid was hurtling towards the earth and set to destroy life as everyone knew it. Everyone Falco knew just up and left their jobs and homes to pursue their dreams: his classmates dropped out of school to become idols or viral TikTokers, the mailman stopped delivering mail to Falco’s house and decided to fly to every place in the world he had always wanted to visit, and even the principal of Falco’s school had resigned but not before advising all of the students to drop out of school because it was useless now that they were all about to die.

Many people had taken the principal’s advice, but not Falco. He still goes to school on the weekdays and spends the weekend completing homework assignments that will never be graded. A few students had visited the school even after the principal had closed the school down, but they had stopped coming after they saw how many of their peers had dropped out and saw how even the teachers didn’t bother coming back.

It doesn’t bother Falco that he goes to school every morning and studies in an empty classroom all day or that he has to fish out study plans from the notebooks his teachers left behind just to give himself something to do. His parents have asked him why he bothers going to school when all of his classmates have pretty much given up, but Falco really doesn’t have an answer. If he had to say anything, it’s probably that he doesn’t have anything in particular that he wants to do.

Falco acknowledges that he’s never been incredibly ambitious like some of his classmates have been. His talents are unspectacular. He knows that he’s neither athletic nor smart. He’s always been average. He never studied too hard because he knew he’d never get the highest score in the class and he never exerted himself too much in PE because there was always someone stronger or faster than him. It isn’t something that ever bothered him, and he’s grown to accept that part of himself.

He doesn’t have any special interests either. Sure, Falco enjoys playing video games and playing sports like any kid his age, but he can’t see himself wasting the rest of his days on them. Some of his classmates even asked him to join them. Falco has had multiple offers: join a band as a bassist even though he’s never touched a bass guitar in his life, become a part of a dance crew despite his coordination being awful at best, start a video channel pulling off different stunts and tricks to gain a little bit of spotlight before they all died, among others. He declined all of them in the end, preferring to be alone, and even now Falco doesn’t regret his decision. He’s content being a normal kid living out the rest of his tedious life as monotonously as he always did.

His parents live quite normally too except for the fact that they quit their jobs like everybody else did when news of the asteroid came out. Rather than return to their jobs every morning, his parents go out on long walks together, often visiting places from their younger days. They usually leave long before Falco wakes, but his mother is always sure to leave out a freshly made breakfast for Falco and his older brother Colt.

Colt hasn’t made any drastic changes to his lifestyle, not like some other people his age. He, too, dropped out of school like many of his peers and Falco’s classmates, but he usually spends his time visiting internet cafés or playing baseball with his friends. The elder brother once curiously asked Falco why he bothered going to school and the younger just simply shrugged. Colt never bothered to ask again, and Falco was fine with that.

Falco rolls out of bed and heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth as he normally does. His hair looks like a mess. Since news of the upcoming apocalypse, people either care excessively about their appearance or they don’t care about it at all. Considering his circumstances, Falco should probably fall in the latter category, but he fixes his bed head all the same, patting down the cowlicks and running a comb through his hair to get rid of all the tangles.

After washing his face and getting dressed in his school uniform, Falco wanders into the kitchen where his breakfast is waiting for him. On the stove sits a pan with fluffy scrambled eggs mixed with little bits of crispy, dark spinach leaves, and sweet gruyère. Falco twists the knob on the stove with a sharp click before popping bread into the toaster. As he waits for the eggs to warm up, he fixes himself a glass of orange juice.

Falco ends up splitting the eggs in half, leaving a portion for Colt whenever he decides to roll out of bed. He sits at the kitchen island by himself, munching on some generously buttered toast in between bites of egg. It’s a much fancier breakfast than his mother used to make. Scrambled eggs were usually plain except for a dash of salt and pepper, but his mother has become more experimental with her cooking now that the end of the world is evident. It’s a good change, Falco thinks as the blend of savory bacon and salted eggs melt onto his tongue. It probably would have been nice if his mother had decided to be more adventurous with her cooking beforehand, but it’s not as if having regrets about this can change the past so Falco just eats the rest of his breakfast before dumping his plate in the sink and calling out to his brother that he’ll be heading to school. He doesn’t even wait for a response from Colt before heading out the door.

Ever since news of the asteroid, Falco has begun seeing very interesting people on his way to school. Some of them are familiar to him. Others he’s never seen before in his life. They’re not all strange, of course. Sometimes there are just kids running up and down the road kicking a soccer ball or couples holding hands as they take a morning stroll. But there are more than a few eccentrics on Falco’s way to school.

Lately, there have been people claiming to be superheroes. They have superpowers, they insist. Some will rush up to strangers on the street and show off their powers, but Falco has never seen any proof of their alleged superhuman talents.

Some people post videos online demonstrating their special gifts. Falco has seen a handful of them, mostly because his friend Zofia keeps sending them to him every few days when she finds them particularly funny. He finds them mildly intriguing, although he’s fairly certain that most (if not all) of the videos are either staged or edited to look real. He’s never been fully convinced by any of them.

On this particular walk to school, Falco passes by a person who claims to be able to create seismic shifts and another person who she can talk to animals. Neither person is particularly believable. Falco only gives a passing glance when the first person begins to demonstrate their powers by spinning in a circle and letting out a low groan that begins to grow into a loud shriek. The earth, Falco notices, does not shake. He’s even less interested when the animal girl starts shouting post-apocalyptic prophecies about how giant bugs will inherit the earth once the dust has settled on the earth after the asteroid impact.

Falco reaches the school gate and pulls it open himself because there isn’t a teacher there to welcome him like there used to be. He leaves it open to save trouble for anyone who ends up coming after him, although he highly doubts anyone will be joining him. He walks across the courtyard where some of his former schoolmates play soccer, looking at them briefly but not bothering to bid them good morning. When he gets to the building, he pulls open the door and steps inside. The sound of his shoes against the speckled tile echo across the empty hallways as he makes his way to his classroom.

As usual, it’s empty. Falco could probably sit anywhere he wants, but he ends up at his old desk, the second seat in the third row from the right. He sits down with a thud and lets his backpack fall off his shoulder. He pulls out his notebook and looks at today’s lesson that he copied from his homeroom teacher’s planner earlier last month: geometry, English, social studies, art, and science.

Falco dutifully completes his assignments for the day. He even double-checks his answers once he’s done. Maybe he’ll look over the answer key after school if he feels like it. He spends his break staring at the window at the kids playing ball in the field or playing pranks on each other in the quad. He doesn’t make any attempt to join them.

At 2:15, Falco packs his things. He puts away his pens and pencils neatly in his case, zips up his backpack, and slings his bag over his shoulder. As he walks to the door of the classroom, he thinks he imagines footsteps running down the hall. It makes him wonder if the impending apocalypse is making him go mad because he can’t imagine why anyone would be here when the world is going to end in a week. When he pulls open the door, he sees his friend Zofia about to reach for the door.

“Oh, good,” Zofia pants. She bends over, hands on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. Ashy blonde locks are falling out of her ponytail. “I was afraid I missed you. You weren’t replying to any of my texts.”

“We’re not allowed to use our phones in school,” Falco says as he looks down at her.

Zofia looks up, an expression of mild disbelief on her face. “Geez, I can’t believe you’re still doing this.” She straightens up and sighs. “Our teachers probably appreciated what a goody-two-shoes you were back when they actually cared about their jobs, but I assure you that they don’t care at all now that the world is about to end.”

Falco rolls his eyes and walks past Zofia. He can hear her following him from the extra footsteps that accompany his. “What do you need? I thought you were busy trying to pet ‘every dog in the world’ or whatever before the asteroid strikes.”

Zofia’s arm links with Falco’s and she flashes a cheesy smile at him. “I realized it was impossible so I settled for petting ‘as many dogs as possible.’ I’m pretty satisfied with my work, so I’ve decided on pursuing something else.” She doesn’t immediately follow up with what it is she’s working on, and Falco knows she’s absolutely itching for him to ask.

“... What is it?” Falco asks.

“I’m glad you asked!” Zofia says, tugging him closer to her. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and flips through it for a bit before finding what she wants to show Falco. On her screen is a long post on one of the message boards their classmates post on. “There’s this girl. She’s totally crazy.”

A glance at the phone screen confirms Zofia’s words. It’s a post that looks like it’s been circulating through message boards of different middle schools in their area. The original poster is someone named Gabi Braun, aged 14, and she attends Liberio Middle School across the city. Her post is a call for all people with superpowers to contact her so that they can save the world together.

Falco looks at Zofia and wrinkles his nose. “And you’re showing me this because …?”

“Because she’s absolutely crazy, but she’s interesting,” Zofia replies as she pockets her phone. She smiles at Falco. “Let’s go visit her.”

“What? No!” Falco says. He yanks his arm away from Zofia. “You said she was nuts! Why would we look for her?”

“Because the world is ending in a few days, so we might as well do something stupid,” Zofia replies. She links her arm around Falco’s again and pouts, batting her eyelashes up at him. “Come on, aren’t you the least bit curious? There’s a girl our age who thinks she can save the world if she gathers enough nutjobs who think they have superpowers.”

Falco isn’t curious at all. “I have homework,” he says to Zofia, which he knows is the wrong answer. Although Zofia hasn’t tried to convince Falco to stop going to school like the rest of their peers, she has been pretty vocal about how stupid she thinks Falco is for living the end of his life so mundanely.

“You also have a friend,” Zofia says. She begins to tug at him after every other word, trying to get him to follow her. “A friend you care about deeply and don’t want to see hurt if she ends up walking into some creep’s trap.”

“Then why are you going at all if you know it might be dangerous?” Falco mutters, but he knows Zofia’s right. His normal school life consists of him going straight home after classes and doing his homework, but it occasionally includes him reluctantly following Zofia sometimes to make sure she doesn’t get into too much trouble. He’s not too surprised when he ends up walking with Zofia to the meeting place the poster mentioned in their message.

Normally, Falco and Zofia would have taken the bus into the city, but it’s difficult to flag down a bus. The schedules are erratic at best and oftentimes buses don’t show up on schedule at all. It is the end of the world, after all.

It’s a curious thing, seeing the city at the end of the world. It’s a little bit like how the movies portray it, but not at all like the movies at the same time. Cars fill the street while drivers honk their horns and shout at each other to hurry up because they don’t want to spend their last days on earth stuck in traffic. The doors and windows of so many shops and buildings are smashed in and their contents gone. If people aren’t running around and screaming at each other on the street, they’re walking around like it’s a normal day save for the fact that they’re all looking for the next thing they want to do before they die.

“I’d suggest going to the mall downtown or something later, but it’s probably ransacked like everywhere else,” Zofia says with a wistful sigh.

“We could have just gone to the arcade in our town,” Falco mutters. The internet café and the arcade in their town is a mess because none of the gamers there bother to clean up their trash anymore, but at least there are still computers there and nobody has hauled off the arcade machines.

The two wander about the city and linger near the subway station entrance the message board poster had mentioned. There are people going up and down the stairs to the subways and some kids skating around and doing tricks on their skateboards. Adults pass by hurriedly with their phone stuck to one ear, rushing to make plans with someone on the other end because they have limited time left. It feels like Zofia and Falco are just standing frozen in time while the world rushes around them.

“Who do you think it is?” Zofia whispers in Falco’s ear.

Falco scans the scene, his eyes quickly flitting over anyone that didn’t look like a middle schooler. He doesn’t think it would be any of the skateboarders, so he glances over them too. Whoever this Gabi Braun is, she doesn’t have any interest in anything aside from saving the world with her impossible idea. She must be looking for people just like he and Zofia are looking for her.

Finally, his eyes land on a girl their age with a stern expression on her face. Her dark eyebrows are knitted together and she turns her head from side to side every few seconds as she scans the subway station, her brown hair whipping from side to side. She leans against the railing near the subway entrance, her arms folded across her chest. Somehow, she looks familiar, but Falco doesn’t know why.

“Her,” Falco says. He raises his hand and points to her only to realize it’s rude and quickly lets his hand fall to his side. He’s about to jerk his head over in the girl’s direction, but Zofia has already seen who he was pointing to and starts dragging him over.

“Excuse me,” Zofia says, catching the girl’s attention. The girl’s gaze is intense, her brown eyes scrutinizing the two of them, but Zofia doesn’t shrink away from the girl like Falco does. Instead, Zofia holds out a hand cordially and gives the girl a friendly smile. “You’re Gabi Braun, right? I’m Zofia, and this is my friend Falco. We saw your message reposted on our school forum and wanted to help you.”

The girl looks at them suspiciously but takes Zofia’s hand, shaking it reluctantly. “You really want to help?” Her eyes flit towards Falco, who looks down immediately. “Why do you want to help me?”

“Hmm,” Zofia hums and tilts her head to the side. “Because the end of the world isn’t something I’m particularly looking forward to.” She looks over at Falco and, with a grin, elbows him playfully in the ribs. “And this guy doesn’t have anything better to do, so I had him come along.”

“What were you doing before?” Gabi asks curiously.

Falco purses his lips. It’s not that he’s ashamed about how he’s spending his last days. Living plainly is a far better choice than some people have made. Apparently, some people decided that murder was something they needed to check off their bucket list. If you ask Falco, he thinks being a normal student is far better than being a last-minute murderer. Still, it’s not something he wants to say out loud to a stranger.

He kicks at the sidewalk and mumbles, “Just … homework and stuff.”

To his surprise, Gabi doesn’t ridicule him or ask why. She simply nods as if this is a perfectly normal way for someone to spend their last days. She doesn’t ask them any more questions, somehow satisfied with Falco’s answer. She’s already digging around in her back for something and pulls a laptop out of her bag.

“I’m still waiting for people to show up, but I wouldn’t be surprised if nobody ends up showing,” Gabi says, gesturing for the two of them to sit beside her. Her tone doesn’t sound disappointed at all. In fact, she sounds rather like she expected this to happen.

Zofia sits on one side of Gabi, peering curiously over the brunette’s shoulder as she types away. Falco wants to sit beside Zofia. It would be more comfortable than sitting next to a stranger, but he would have difficulty seeing the screen. Reluctantly, he takes a seat next to Gabi.

“I’ve been looking at videos,” Gabi tells them. “People have been submitting them after seeing my message on the school forums.”

“Is there anyone particularly interesting to you?” Zofia asks.

“Not really,” Gabi says. She opens up a folder on her screen and a video file pops up. She presses Play. “Technology lets you edit anything into videos now. Some of these powers look super fake, but I still have to take a chance in case they do have powers and are interested in saving the world, right?”

The three watch the video play out. There’s a man on the screen claiming to have pyrokinesis. He’s wide-eyed and staring at the camera, holding out his hands with his palms to the ceiling. His explanation of his powers is similar to everyone else who has posted these kinds of videos on social media: he was just born with them and never bothered to reveal them until now for fear of being ostracized.

The flame doesn’t ignite right away. It’s a flicker — a spark, really — that grows into the smallest flame. The fire is hardly the size of the man’s fingertip, but he looks delighted just the same. The three children watching are not as thrilled.

“You really think this guy can save the world?” Zofia asks, raising her eyebrow.

“I don’t think this guy can save anyone,” Gabi replies. She’s so brutally honest that it would be funny if they weren’t discussing the fate of the world. “But I’m taking whatever help I can get at this point.”

They spend the rest of that afternoon looking through applications. Most of them are just internet trolls and Gabi has to roll her eyes more than once before closing out the applicant’s video. There are a few promising candidates Gabi moves to a separate folder but only when Falco and Zofia also agree that the person might be worth looking into. They go through written applications too, often filtering out any CVs that aren’t descriptive enough and sometimes those that are too descriptive and more fitted to some sci-fi character description than an actual person. Gabi calls a few numbers from the short list of people that the three all agreed on, but nobody ever picks up. Nobody shows up either. Still, Gabi doesn’t seem to be discouraged.

“Why are you doing this?” Falco asks at one point while they’re watching a video of a man who claims he can read people’s thoughts.

“Hm?” Gabi says, looking away from the video.

“Just … this whole thing,” Falco says and vaguely waves at the screen. “You know it too. This might not work, so why even bother trying to save the world?”

Gabi frowns and her eyebrows knit together like she doesn’t quite understand Falco’s question. “Well, what else would I be doing?”

Falco doesn’t respond because, well, he doesn’t have an answer. It’s not like he knows what to do with the rest of his life either. If Zofia hadn’t convinced him to come here, he’d just be at home with his head stuck in a textbook. Even if it’s useless, whatever Gabi is doing is far more interesting.

»»————- April 4, 2026 ————-««

Falco’s parents drop him off at the edge of the city. His mother had wanted to drop him off closer to his destination point, but Falco assured her that it wasn’t necessary. Besides, there were a lot of weirdos in the city, he reasoned, especially now that the apocalypse was coming. She reluctantly allowed him to be dropped off at the edge of the city, but not before giving him a can of pepper spray and a baseball bat in case he ran into anybody cruel enough to mug a middle schooler.

He doesn’t have any trouble meeting Gabi at the library they agreed to meet at. Zofia isn’t there with him after deciding this morning that saving the world wasn’t what she wanted to spend her last moments doing. She did, however, request that Falco send Gabi her best wishes, which Falco promised to pass along.

The two of them sit on the tenth floor of the library at a table by the window. The library isn’t exactly empty, but it’s not exactly filled up either. There are a few other visitors in the library with them. Some are seated at tables or couches, but others choose to sit between bookshelves, folding up their legs so that people can walk around if they need to get through. Hardly anyone pays attention to Falco and Gabi. They’re too busy flipping furiously through their books, eyes scanning the pages in seconds, as they try to finish their reading list before the world ends.

While Gabi watches more videos of superpowered applicants while Falco gathers books on powers that interest them: pyrokinesis, psychokinesis, time travel, to name a few. As he gathers research articles, he also stumbles across the section of the library dedicated to outer space and celestial bodies and decides to grab a few books on asteroids and meteors as well. There’s a slim chance that they might help, but Falco might as well try.

Gabi doesn’t talk much to Falco, too engrossed in her research to hold a conversation with him. He doesn’t talk much to her either. He does, on occasion, glance up at her to observe her progress, but she always seems to be staring at the screen with the same dissatisfied frown on her face. Every once in a while Gabi will lean over and ask Falco about whether or not a certain candidate looks promising, but his answer is almost always no and she goes back to staring at her screen.

At noon, the two take their lunch break. Gabi hadn’t brought anything. She tells Falco she was planning on just grabbing something from the snack machine near the elevators. The library remains one of the few places that was relatively untouched by thieves and vandals because not many people think “let’s rob the library” when they hear that the world is ending. Because Falco’s mother has a tendency to overpack his lunches, Falco decides to split his meal with Gabi. He figures that a sandwich is far better than whatever half-filled bag of chips Gabi would end up grabbing from the vending machine.

Falco munches on his katsu sandwich. It’s a favorite of his: two slices of pillowy milk bread with a thick cut of juicy pork cutlet covered in crispy bread crumbs wedged in between. A little butter and mustard give the sandwich a little bitterness that makes the tip of his tongue tingle and savory tonkatsu sauce drizzled over the thinly sliced cabbage underneath the katsu complete the simple but scrumptious sandwich.

He looks over to see if Gabi is enjoying her food as much as he is, but she’s scarfing it down so quickly that he isn’t sure she’s even taking the time to taste it. In between bites, she’s scrolling through her laptop with greasy fingers, frowning. A glance at the notebook beside her tells Falco that Gabi hasn’t found many promising candidates.

“Do you really think this is going to work?” Falco asks. He’s halfway done with his lunch but Gabi is a bite away from finishing hers.

Gabi shrugs. She doesn’t look up as she answers. “I don’t know. It’s worth a shot, right?” She scrolls a bit more before she pauses, her fingers hovering above the touchpad. Her eyes flicker over to Falco so suddenly that he nearly drops his sandwich. Gabi narrows her eyes at him suspiciously, her attention entirely on the boy. Her gaze is intense and she scoots to the edge of her seat, leaning in towards Falco. “You’re awfully skeptical about this plan for someone who’s trying to save the world.”

Falco gulps, trying not to shy away from her intense gaze. If he were a turtle, he’d be curled back in his shell right now. “I just want to make sure we’re not wasting our time,” he mumbles.

“Falco, do you not believe that people can have superpowers?” Gabi asks.

Falco is about to shake his head and say that that’s not the case but before he can Gabi settles back into her seat, arms folded across her chest, and announces, “I have a superpower.” She says it quite loudly, loudly enough for her voice to be heard across the entire floor, but people are too preoccupied with their reading to pay much attention to her although a few readers do shoot her a dirty look for being so loud.

Falco is not quite sure what he expected Gabi to say, but it wasn’t that. He sits there awkwardly, sandwich still half-finished in his hands. After a moment, he asks, “Er, what is it?”

Gabi pops the last bit of her sandwich in her mouth and wipes her fingers on her jeans. After she chews and swallows, she leans towards Falco once more and gives him an impish grin. “I can read people’s minds. Telepathy,” she tells him. She doesn’t wait for him to ask for a demonstration.

Gabi puts one hand on Falco’s chest and stares deeply into his eyes. Falco’s heart is beating wildly in his chest. If by some miracle Gabi doesn’t hear it, Falco’s certain that she’ll be able to feel it underneath her fingertips. She doesn’t say anything about it, though, just continues to stare at him with those intense brown eyes of hers as she reads every single thought racing through his mind right now, like how he’s never been quite this close to anyone, how he’s never had his heart beat quite this fast, or how he thinks he might just die right here right now before the asteroid even hits.

Suddenly, Gabi’s face breaks into a smile and she pulls her hand away, Falco’s chest feeling achingly empty now. Gabi is laughing now, but Falco doesn’t have any idea why.

“God, I didn’t think you’d believe me,” she laughs. She’s laughing so hard that it’s difficult to make out what she’s saying. “I didn’t think you’d believe me, but you really did. You’re really gullible, aren’t you?”

Falco blinks, confused for a minute as he tries to process what just happened. “You … can’t read minds?” he says a beat too late.

“No, god, but you thought I did,” Gabi laughs.

“Then what’s your power?”

Gabi’s still giggling as she answers. “Something else. It’s not important. I’ll tell you if it ends up being useful.”

She’s laughing. She’s still laughing. It’s a laugh that comes from her stomach and has her clutching her sides. People are glaring because it’s disrupting the peace, and Falco feels like he should tell her to stop but he finds that he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t even mind that she’s laughing at him. He just likes the sound of it.

»»————- April 5, 2026 ————-««

They sit with a pack of chocolate-covered biscuits shaped like little bamboo shoots between them. While Falco eats them one at a time, usually popping one in his mouth after he’s read a few pages of whatever book he’s reading, Gabi shovels them into her mouth by the handful without even looking. They’ve gone through their fifth pack of the little chocolate biscuits and it’s not even noon yet.

“Do you think you can do it?” Falco asks at some point.

“Save the world?” Gabi asks. She sucks her thumb, trying to get the chocolate off. Falco nods and Gabi says, “Well, who else if not me?”

“Literally anyone else,” Falco replies because, well, they’re only kids.

“Right, and just die young, dumb, and stupid like every other kid our age,” Gabi says with a roll of her eyes. “No thanks. I’d rather have died trying to do something. Besides, it’s not as if the adults are having that much luck either.”

Gabi slides her laptop over so that Falco can see the screen. On it, a video plays of a rocket shooting into space. The caption on the bottom reads “NASA Space Missile Failure.” Falco vaguely recalls hearing about the missile launch earlier this morning. The scientists were excited about it, hoping that the missile would collide with the oncoming asteroid and shatter it into smaller pieces that would burn up in the atmosphere, but it seems like they had been excited for nothing. Apparently, they had miscalculated the trajectory of the missile and it would miss the asteroid completely.

“That sucks,” Falco says finally. He’s not exactly sure how he feels about the news. He should probably feel disappointed, but he feels the same way he did a month ago when he heard the world was ending: perfectly indifferent.

Gabi shrugs. “Armin said it wouldn’t work. He said their calculations were off,” she says. She glances at Falco and adds, “Armin’s a genius. He’s my mentor’s husband.”

“A genius? Is that his superpower?” Falco asks. If Gabi knows someone who’s a literal genius, he doesn’t see why they’re doing all this work. Shouldn’t this genius, whoever he is, have all the answers?

Gabi thinks for a minute, her lips pressed into a thin line. “I’m not sure. My mentor just says Armin’s a genius, but he’s way too humble to admit it,” Gabi finally answers. She frowns, leaning forward with her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand. “He can’t help us though. He’s busy tending to his fish.”

Falco isn’t certain he’s heard her right. “His fish?” he repeats.

“Yeah. He’s a marine biologist. He likes to have some fish at home,” Gabi explains like it’s the most normal thing in the world to take care of your fish when the world is about to end. “He says it calms him down to see them swim around.”

Falco is still trying to wrap his head around all of this — Gabi and her willingness to save the world, the genius she just spoke of who just wants to take care of his fish, and the asteroid hurtling towards the earth. He doesn’t understand any of it. “So it’s okay for you, a kid, to try and save the world while a literal genius is taking care of fish at his house instead of trying to prevent the apocalypse?”

Gabi blinks. “Yes,” she replies as if there could be no other answer. “Because it’s what I want to do. And it’s what he wants to do. Why should we be doing anything different?”

“But shouldn’t you be doing, I don’t know, kid things?” Falco asks. He’s starting to feel a little frustrated talking to her. This isn’t what she should be doing at all. This isn’t what they should be doing. They should be enjoying the last few days they have together. They should be playing games at the arcade, or wandering around the empty mall, or eating snacks at the park, not … whatever this is.

“Maybe. Probably. But I don’t want to,” Gabi says. She turns the laptop back and starts typing away. “I don’t like the idea of doing something just because the world is ending. I’ve always done what I wanted, so I don’t have any regrets. This is the only thing I want to do now.”

It’s more than Falco can say. Like Gabi, he doesn’t have anything he wants to do, but then he’s never really ever wanted to do anything. All his life he’s been floating from place to place and participating in whatever was expected of kids his age: attending school, joining a sports team, learning an instrument. He didn’t care about any of it. He doesn’t have any regrets about it, but he does feel a sudden wave of admiration for Gabi. She’s saving the world now because she feels like it, but she could just as easily leave this task for another if something else strikes her fancy. Falco wants to know what it feels like to pursue something so impulsively.

He wants to want things. He wants to be with Gabi. He wants to help her save the world.

“Is there something you want to do before the world ends?” Gabi asks. She’s just asking to be polite. Her eyes are already glued to the screen of her laptop, her face turned away from him. “You don’t seem to be as into the whole ‘save the world’ thing as I am.”

Falco shrugs even though she’s not watching. “I don’t mind it.” Falco could leave it at that. He doesn’t have to say anything else, but he does. “There isn’t really else I want to do anyway,” he tells her, but it’s a lie.

He wants to hold her hand.

»»————- April 6, 2026 ————-««

Falco has never looked forward to anything as much as the researching sessions he has with Gabi. He’s never really looked forward to anything before, actually, and he’s not sure why being surrounded by books and looking at (mostly) fake superhero videos with Gabi appeals to him so much.

He likes a lot of things about the way Gabi works. She’s quiet and focused, eyebrows knitted as she decides whether or not to call another applicant that probably won’t pick up. She never gets discouraged even though things don’t look promising. They’ve probably called dozens of people and only a third have actually responded. Most of them turned out to be trolls, which isn’t surprising considering they were taking submissions from strangers on the internet, but Gabi still carries on. Maybe it’s Gabi’s passion and stubbornness that has drawn Falco to her, but it feels like it’s more than that too.

He feels, in a way, like Gabi completes him. Before he met her, he was wandering aimlessly. Now he doesn’t know what he’d do without her. Staying at home and studying seems unbearable when the option of being with Gabi exists.

Falco isn’t sure how Gabi feels about him. He doesn’t even know if she has any feelings towards him — if she likes him, hates him, or just feels completely indifferent. At any rate, she doesn’t seem to mind spending her last few days on earth with him, and that makes him feel a little better about the world ending. Occasionally, he thinks about how Gabi probably wouldn’t notice if he stopped coming to help her. Well, she might notice, but Falco doesn’t think Gabi would change her routine. She’d just continue saving the world with or without his help.

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” Falco asks at one point. Gabi looks at him with a raised eyebrow and he elaborates “We hardly know each other and we’re just here … saving the world together.”

Gabi frowns, a thoughtful look on her face. “I don’t think it’s weird,” she says to Falco, and he feels his heart flutter in his chest. “A lot of weird stuff has happened because it’s the end of the world and we just happened to meet each other. If a total weirdo had showed up instead of you, then maybe I would be saving the world with them and we never would have met.” She doesn’t seem to mind the thought of working with a total weirdo in place of Falco.

Falco slumps in his seat, deflated, but Gabi doesn’t seem to notice.

“I’m glad it was you though,” Gabi continues.

Falco lifts his head. “Really?” He scoots closer in his seat, curious. “Why?”

Gabi twirls her pen between her fingers, looking upward as she thinks. After a moment, she shrugs. “I don’t know,” she answers. “It just feels better knowing I’m working with someone. It’s better than working alone, I guess. I might feel the same way even if it were someone else, but I also might not. Still, I’m glad it’s you.”

It doesn’t really mean anything. Like she said, it could have been some other kid who ended up answering Gabi’s post and helping her with her impossible quest to save the world. It could have been some other person sitting with her and looking up useless articles on asteroids and meteorites. It could have been someone else having this conversation with her. But, Falco reminds himself, it wasn’t. It’s him sitting beside her, eating snacks and discussing the end of the world. It probably isn’t fate that they met, but it kind of feels like it is.

»»————- April 7, 2026 ————-««

Tired of the same snacks from his pantry, Falco decides to try the café on the first-floor of the library for some new things to eat. He had asked Gabi what she wanted and she told him to just get her anything.

The first floor café is relatively well-stocked for the end of the world, but maybe it’s because bookworms prefer literature to satiate their appetites rather than food.

The display case, usually filled with dessert sandwiches with slices of strawberries and kiwi and slathered with whipped cream, is cleaned out, but the shelves behind the cash register are still stocked with different kinds of chips and candies. Falco scans the shelves, looking for his favorites: baked potato chips covered in rich butter, little rice crackers flavored with soy sauce and red pepper flakes, and chocolate cookies in the shape of tiny hamburgers.

Falco stares, for the longest time, at the other snacks and wonders what Gabi would like, if she has a preference for anything. Maybe he should have paid more attention when they were eating together to see if she ever seemed to gravitate to certain foods he brought or commented on any of the snacks they ate together, but he can’t recall anything. He feels stupid for not noticing, but he also doesn’t want to keep Gabi waiting and ends up grabbing whatever grabs his attention.

He arrives at their designated research table, huffing from the flights of stairs he had to climb. Falco deposits the snacks rather ungracefully in front of Gabi, letting them fall out of his hands and onto the table. Gabi looks up from the noise, her eyebrows raised, but she smiles when she sees that it’s him and Falco’s heart flutters almost painfully in his chest.

“These are yours,” Falco says, shoving Gabi’s share of the snacks towards her.

“Thanks.” Gabi picks up a snack with a gray cartoon cat on the wrapper. It’s a puffed corn stick. Pizza-flavored, the wrapper says. She opens it with a grin. “How did you know these were my favorite?” she asks.

“I … I don’t know,” Falco says. “Must have been a lucky guess.”

But it doesn’t feel like it.

It feels like he knew, from the beginning, what she had wanted. It’s like he had let his instincts take over when he had randomly chosen snacks for Gabi and somehow selected her favorite ones. It was as easy as picking food for someone he had known for his whole life, which is impossible because he hadn’t even known Gabi a week ago. Maybe, then, he had known Gabi in a past life and that’s how he happened to pick her favorites. Or maybe they really are fated to be together and knowing things like her favorite food are just second nature to him. The latter two explanations are almost impossible and yet so much more likely than the first explanation. He doesn’t know how to explain it though, not without seeming crazy, so he doesn’t say anything.

»»————- April 8, 2026 ————-««

Tomorrow is the end of the world and they are no closer to saving everyone from the asteroid hurtling towards the earth than they were yesterday. In fact, they are no closer to saving the world than they were a week ago when this effort began or even a month ago when they had first found out the world was going to be destroyed. Their attempt to prevent the world’s end was futile and their effort today will probably be equally useless. Still, here they are on the tenth floor of the library doing the same thing they did yesterday.

The sun is about to set and it’s almost time for them to head home. Falco wonders if they’ll be here tomorrow spending their last moments at the library when the world ends or if Gabi will call it quits and suggest they spend their last day without each other. He’s too afraid to ask.

They pack up silently, Gabi slipping her notebooks and laptop into her bag as Falco arranges the books into neat stacks on the slim chance that they’ll return tomorrow. Falco notices that Gabi packs the same way she always does — quickly, dumping everything into her backpack as if she doesn’t care if they get damaged — and it stings a little bit that she doesn’t pack a little slower this time like he does just so that he can spend a few seconds more with her. Maybe he shouldn’t be so disappointed because it’s obvious she doesn’t care for him more than she would care for a coworker or a classmate she was randomly paired with to complete an assignment.

Falco is silently pining when Gabi speaks, startling him.

“So, the world ends tomorrow,” she says easily. It’s like she’s talking about the weather. “Are you satisfied with how you spent your last days? No regrets?”

They’re two questions that seem related, but Falco’s answers for them are very different.

He is satisfied with how he spent his last days. The past week perhaps isn’t as spectacular by other people’s standards. Falco didn’t go bungee jumping or skydiving or deepsea divings like some of his peers. Some people would argue that the way he spent his last few days was as boring as the way he spent the past month, although Falco would argue that it was infinitely better because he had Gabi. He’s convinced that however he chose to spend his last days, as long as they were with Gabi, he would be happy. He could even watch the grass grow with Gabi and he’d be completely content. So, yes, he’s completely satisfied with how he spent his last few days, but he has many regrets.

He regrets not meeting Gabi earlier. He regrets not being able to spend more than a week with her. He regrets not doing things with her that kids their age should be doing: playing soccer in the field, catching butterflies by the river and letting them go, and hanging out at the arcade and beating their high scores. But most of all, he regrets feeling this way about Gabi and not being able to tell her.

Falco doesn’t answer her question. Instead, he asks, “Do you?”

“No,” Gabi replies with a smile and it makes Falco feel a little better about the ache in his chest.

»»————- April 9, 2026 ————-««

Falco doesn’t expect Gabi to call him the next day. Before bidding each other goodbye yesterday, Gabi suggested they not see each other again.

“You should spend the day with your family or something,” Gabi said to him. “Your parents probably want to spend their last day with their kids. I’ll just do this by myself. And, you know, thanks for everything.”

He had wanted to tell her that it was fine if they spent their last day together. He spent his whole life with his parents. He should at least spend one more day with Gabi if this is his last one, but he bit his tongue and said goodbye to her with the fakest smile before turning on his heel and walking as quickly as he could to where his mom would pick him up.

Falco was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling when Gabi called and told him to meet him at the bottom of the hill near the outskirts of his town. She said her mentor was coming back today and that they could visit her to see if there was still a possibility of saving the world. Falco didn’t even question her or ask if they really have any hope after their days of research lead to nothing. He just leapt out of bed, told his parents he would be out and that he loved them, and biked up to the hills where Gabi asked to meet him.

When he gets there, Gabi is already waiting for him, bundled in a navy peacoat and a gray scarf tied loosely around her neck. Her face breaks out in a grin when she sees him and she waves a gloved hand to greet him.

“How did you get here so fast?” Falco huffs once he finally reaches her. The hill gets too steep for him to bike, so he gets off his bicycle and walks with Gabi beside him.

“My uncle Reiner drove me here,” Gabi replies, shoving her hands in her pockets. She rolls her eyes, but her mouth twitches with a smile. “He says he wanted to spend a little more time with his favorite niece before she becomes famous for saving the world.”

“You really think we’re gonna do it?” Falco asks.

Gabi shrugs. “I think if my mentor thinks so, we probably have a good chance.”

They arrive at the mentor’s house at the top of the hill. It’s small, more like a tiny cabin than an actual house. When Gabi knocks, they’re greeted by a blond man with big blue eyes. The man smiles when he sees Gabi, pushing his tortoiseshell glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Hello, Gabi. I guess Mikasa told you she’d be coming back today,” the man says. He looks over Falco. “Hello. You must be Gabi’s friend Falco. I’m Armin.” The man offers a hand for Falco to shake.

Falco nods, wondering why the man’s name sounds so familiar. It’s only when he’s shaken the man’s hand that he remembers Gabi had mentioned Armin a few days ago when they were researching in the library. He’s the genius that likes to spend his days taking care of fish.

Falco follows Gabi when the man invites them into the cabin. Falco’s a little taken aback at how simple the interior is. The living room is small and the kitchen is smaller with only the essentials. There isn’t even a microwave.

“Sit down,” Armin says, gesturing at the dining table in the middle of the room. He heads towards the kitchen cabinets where he takes out three mugs. “I’ll make tea for us while we wait for Mikasa.”

“Can we see your fish later, Armin?” Gabi asks. She’s already settled down in a chair, kicking her legs back and forth. It’s clear that she feels at home here. When she notices that Falco hasn’t taken a seat yet, she gestures for him to sit down at the seat closest to her. To Armin, she continues, “I was telling Falco about you and he was curious about what a genius would be up to at the end of the world if he wasn’t trying to prevent the apocalypse.”

Armin chuckles. “Do you like fish, Falco?” he asks. He smiles when Falco makes a surprised noise, an answer stuck in his throat. “Sure, we can take a look a little later.”

Over apple tarts and tea, Gabi and Armin fill Falco in on Mikasa. She’s Armin’s wife, Gabi’s mentor, and the key to saving the world. Mikasa has a superpower, Gabi explains, that allows her to identify other people with superpowers and what those powers are. She helps people utilize their powers, but she took off for a month when the end of the world was announced to gather people with powers that might prevent the asteroid from crashing into the earth.

“Did Mikasa tell you if she met any promising people?” Gabi asks. She’s licked her plate clean and cinnamon sticks to her lips.

Armin shakes his head, a resigned smile on his face. “Unfortunately, no. She said all the candidates she met didn’t have any sort of useful power, but who knows? Maybe she’ll meet someone on the way here that can stop the meteor.”

“Ah, it’s a meteor now?” Falco asks, sitting up in his seat.

“It’s been one for a while,” Armin says. He glances out the window for a second. It’s not blue like it was when Falco woke up this morning. It’s orange now., not like a sunrise but more like someone has set the sky on fire. “We should be able to see it soon. The estimated time of impact is soon if I recall correctly. Hopefully, we get to see Mikasa soon.” His eyebrows are knitted together in concern, but Gabi looks just as unbothered as ever.

“I’m sure she’ll be back soon,” Gabi says. She collects her empty plate as well as Falco and Armin’s before depositing them in the sink. It’s an awfully normal thing to do considering the fact that the dirty dishes won’t matter when the earth is destroyed. She lets them soak in the sink and then turns to Armin. “Can we go see your fish now? Falco hasn’t seen them yet.”

“Sure,” Armin says with a smile. He gets up from the table and gestures for Falco to follow him. “Let’s go see the fish.”

Armin leads the children to a side room. Inside is a large glass fish tank with so many plants, shells, and rocks that Falco doesn’t see the fish at first. He and Gabi crouch beside the tank, their faces not quite touching the glass. Falco can see neon fish the size of his pinky darting back and forth between plants. He spots a miniature catfish the size of his thumb hiding behind a rock while a school of ten or so black and white striped fish zips around the 50-gallon tank. There are many more fish that Falco spots, lots of which he doesn’t know the name of but Armin patiently points them all out and tells Falco both the scientific and the common names of each fish and their habits. It’s clear that he loves it, taking care of the fish and looking after them, and Falco thinks he understands a little bit why Armin has chosen to spend the rest of the world like this. Occasionally, Gabi pipes in with whatever she remembers about each fish, usually their behavioral patterns she’s noticed when she’s visited, and Armin always grins whenever she speaks.

The three don’t notice when Mikasa arrives. They’re too busy staring at the fish swimming back and forth in the tank without a care in the world. The fish can’t grasp the fact that the world is ending. After all, their world only consists of the four glass walls that encase them and anything outside doesn’t concern them. It’s only when the door to the room opens and Mikasa steps in that the three realize that she’s returned. The fish, however, just keep swimming.

“That’s a nice way to spend the end of the world,” Mikasa comments. She has a tired smile on her face. She wears a soft cream-colored turtleneck, a long black coat hanging over her arm. “I see Gabi has joined us. As has her friend.” The woman nods at Falco.

“H-hello,” Falco stammers. He’s not sure what he was expecting Mikasa to look like. Perhaps like a woman with all the answers, someone who looked like she had seen the world, but she doesn’t. She just looks like any other woman, maybe a little more tired than other women, but still just a normal person. She doesn’t look like she has an amazing superpower, but then again neither does Gabi nor any of the potential candidates that claimed to have powers. “I’m Falco.”

“Ah, yes,” Mikasa says with a nod. “Gabi mentioned you before. I’m Mikasa, her mentor.” She drapes her coat over a nearby chair and walks over to join the three of them beside the fish tank.

“Did you find anyone?” Gabi asks. She looks out towards the living room, craning her neck to see if Mikasa had brought someone they didn’t notice.

“No, nobody that could save the world, if that’s what you’re asking,” Mikasa sighs, shoulder slumped. “Although, I did run into a guy who was convinced that the only way to save the world was to destroy it. I got away from him as quickly as possible.”

“Probably a smart decision,” Armin says with a nod, and Mikasa smiles in reply.

“Well, shall we go watch the end of the world together?” Mikasa asks, putting an arm around Gabi. She looks around at the others. “I heard it was going to be quite spectacular. Like a meteor show in the middle of the day.” Her eyes settle on Falco and her smile begins to falter. Her brows knit together and she opens her mouth as if she’s about to say something.

Armin notices the change in her demeanor and looks back and forth between Falco and Mikasa. “What’s wrong? Are you …?” It seems like something clicks in his head and he quickly turns to Falco. With a hand on the boy’s shoulder, Armin asks quickly, “Falco, do you have a power you haven’t told us about?”

The question startles Falco and he jerks away from Armin’s hand in surprise. “I … I don’t know,” he says, stumbling over his words. He’s never felt like he had any kind of superpower. He’s never shown any sign of being special. He’s always just been … normal.

“You … do you not know?” Mikasa asks, her eyebrows raised. She looks at Gabi. “Falco can save the world.”

It’s too much for Falco to take in when the world is about to end so soon. He has too many questions like: What power is he supposed to have? How come he didn’t know about it before? Is there still time to save everyone or is it too late? He opens his mouth to ask, not knowing which one will come out of his mouth first, when he feels a comforting hand on his elbow. Falco looks over to see Gabi standing beside him, somehow calm despite this revelation.

“What’s his power, Mikasa?”

“He can travel back in time,” Mikasa says, still staring at Falco with her intense gaze. “Under the event of an unexpected death like, say, getting hit by an asteroid, he can go back in time and prevent it from happening. But only if he remembers that it will happen in the first place.” Her eyes flicker towards Gabi for some reason.

“What … what does that mean ‘only if I remember’?” Falco asks Gabi.

Gabi’s biting down on her lip, expression contemplative. Finally, she tells Falco, “My power is that I’m unforgettable. If you reset your time after the meteor hits, usually you won't remember what happened, but you will if I use my power. You’d be able to remember me and everything we’ve done together. If you go back in time, maybe you can find a way to save the world because you’ll know what to expect.”

“Then … then that’s good news!” He doesn’t know why everyone around him isn’t jumping up and down in excitement right now. They’ve found a way to save the world. If not this time, then the next time or the time after that. “Isn’t this good news?”

“I mean, it is,” Gabi says. She doesn’t sound as confident as she usually does. Instead, she’s hesitant, almost shy. Falco doesn’t think he’s ever seen Gabi shy before. She’s looking at the floor now, kicking at the hardwood floor with her sock-clad feet. “It’s just that … I have to make you fall in love with me to make you remember me.”

Falco’s mouth falls open and no words come out.

“It’s not like it’s hard,” Gabi says almost hurriedly, more because she’s embarrassed than in a rush to save the world. She’s shed off her embarrassment and assumed her usual confident demeanor. “I’m very lovable, you know. It’s just …” Her voice trails off again.

“She has to seal it with a kiss,” Mikasa finishes, and Falco can see why Gabi was so embarrassed. His cheeks redden just from the thought of kissing Gabi. Mikasa adds rather apologetically, “It’s just the way it works, her power. She needs to kiss you.”

“Only if you’re okay with it, of course,” Gabi adds. She’s still avoiding his gaze, her eyes on the floor. “I’m fine if you’d rather not. You might just be stuck in the loop all by yourself. It’d be a little less painful since you won’t remember each time but still -”

“I’m okay with it,” Falco says.

Gabi looks up, surprised. “You are?”

“Yeah,” Falco says. “I’m … I’m fine with it. Let’s save the world. Together. That’s what our entire plan was, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah,” Gabi repeats and she smiles. It’s different from how she’s smiled at him before. It’s a little bit bashful, a little bit excited. It looks nice on her, Falco thinks, and he’s so distracted that he’s surprised when he realizes she’s holding his hand.

Mikasa tugs at the elbow of Armin’s cardigan and the blond man nods. Taking Mikasa’s hand, he turns to the kids and says, “We’ll be out there just to give you two some privacy. Hopefully, we’ll see each other again soon.”

The door shuts softly behind the two adults. Falco doesn’t know if they wait in the living room or if they’ve gone outside to admire the sky. From the window, Falco can see that the sky has changed from a burnt orange to an explosion of different colors: shades of violet, pink, blue, and yellow all together almost like a watercolor painting. There are streaks of white in the sky. It’s like a meteor shower in the middle of the day just as Mikasa had said.

When he turns to Gabi, she’s looking at him with her hand still holding his. She’s chewing on the inside of her cheek, but she smiles when she sees he’s looking at her.

“Are you still up for it?” Gabi asks.

“Y-yeah,” Falco says, his voice cracking. He feels his face flush, but he likes the sound of Gabi’s giggle even if he’s the one she’s laughing at. He licks his lips nervously and leans in just the tiniest bit. “Is … is it okay if I kiss you?”

Gabi bites her lip and nods. She leans in too and Falco takes it as his cue to close his eyes and close the gap.

He doesn’t know what to expect from this kiss. Maybe warm lips pressing against his while his heart threatens to beat out of his chest. Maybe Gabi’s hands gripping his arms while his hands hover awkwardly around his waist. Maybe the world ending and, when his eyes open, Falco waking to thoughts of Gabi and how to find her next. But none of this happens. Instead, Gabi puts her hands on his shoulder and pushes him gently but firmly away.

“I can’t do it,” Gabi says.

“Wha-?”

“I can’t do it,” Gabi repeats with a shake of her head. She looks upset, but Falco doesn’t know why. He wonders what it is he did to offend her. Maybe she doesn’t want to kiss him. Maybe she finds him repulsive and doesn’t want to kiss him even if it means saving the world. Falco thinks this would be the case if Gabi didn’t look so apologetic. “I can’t kiss you. Not like this.”

“What do you mean?” Falco asks, panicked. He takes a glance at the window. Outside, the meteors in the sky look brighter. It’s like a million stars are falling to the earth. It’s only a matter of time before the world ends. He doesn’t know why Gabi is doing this.

“I don’t want to kiss you just to save the world and I don’t want you to kiss me for the same reason,” Gabi says, taking a step away from him. She shakes her head, tears pricking her eyes. “I want you to kiss me because you like me, not because you have some responsibility to save the earth so … so find me again and kiss me. Find me again and tell me you like me and kiss me hard. And then … and then we can save the world.”

But he wants to kiss her now. He wants to kiss her because he likes her. He wants to kiss her because the world is ending. He wants to kiss her even if the world isn’t ending. He wants to tell her that, but he doesn’t have the words.

Ever since Mikasa had revealed Falco’s power, everything has suddenly made sense to him. Falco understands now why his life felt so empty before he met Gabi and why he never felt the desire to do anything. He knows why he was so drawn to her when they first met that day in the city and why he felt like she completed him. It’s because they were meant to meet each other, meant to be together, meant to save the world.

Falco wants to kiss her so badly. He wants to hold Gabi’s face in his hands and put his lips on hers and kiss her until the world ends and when he wakes up again he’ll find her and kiss her again and again and again. He wants to tell her he likes her now and that he’ll like her again. He wants to tell her that he’d like her even if the world weren’t about to end, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t get to tell her anything.

A bright light flashes from the window. All Falco sees is Gabi and then white, and then nothing.

»»————- March 9, 2026 ————-««

Falco wakes up and rolls out of bed. He brushes his teeth in the bathroom and brushes out his hair before blearily heading down the stairs where his mom is making breakfast. His father hasn’t left for work yet, he notices, which is rather strange. His mother hasn’t finished making breakfast yet and his brother isn’t dressed for school. He stares at them, wondering why they’re acting so odd. It takes them a moment to realize he’s there.

“The world is ending next month,” his mother tells him. She points at the TV screen that Falco’s father is staring at. On it flashes a picture of an asteroid hurtling towards the earth. The little banner underneath the picture says it’s far too big to burn up in the atmosphere. Scientists have no hope of human survival.

“If I knew, I would have slept in,” Colt mumbles.

His family looks shocked by the news, but Falco doesn’t feel anything. He grabs a banana from the fruit bowl in the kitchen and starts to head out the door.

“Wait, where are you going?” Colt asks him.

Falco pauses by the door. “I don’t know,” he says after a moment. He’s not sure what to do now that the world is ending. There isn’t anything in particular that he wants to do. “I’ll go to school, I guess.”

He leaves after assuring his parents that it’s fine, that he really doesn’t mind going to school because he isn’t sure what else to do. He stops by his mailbox and looks up at the sky. It’s clear and blue, no asteroid in sight.

He takes a deep breath and then releases it. It sounds like a sigh.

#falbi #snk #sf8 au #falco grice #gabi braun

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legends-live-in-memories · 4 years

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I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1

lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.

im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.

Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.

So… a disclaimer before I begin…

I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…

If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)

This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion,

which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.

Now onto the fun stuff

I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing…

AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).

So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.

The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.

i don’t give a solid fuck.

Not one.

Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically.

And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.

This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss.

AND BOI is it a miss.

SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)

25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story,

24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,

28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,

37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,

41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,

44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,

47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,

48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,

51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,

66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,

67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,

68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,

69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,

70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,

71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,

73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)

77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,

New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,

That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because.

Too bad it means nothing.

Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)

Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.

Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing.

I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time.

How’s that for a ‘first’ post?

#mlb #opinions my guy opinions #i dont wanna tag this as salt #but mlb criticisms and analyses #IHTMO #the hashtag for this series #thomas astruc #miraculous fandom #miraculous ladybug #miraculous: tales of ladybug and cat noir #yes the government name again #come get yall juice #miraculous

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shiishki · 3 years

Note

okay wait, i changed my mind. you should answer all of these questions as well, if that's what you want from me >:)

oof there's a lot of it, that's what i get for wanting to be ✨aesthetic✨

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

vowels (and the importance of being me) - hunny

honeypie - jawny

pretty young thing - michael jackson

mirrors - justin timberlake

sunflower - red orange county

paradise - rude-a

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

a therapist.

ok someone else.. uhh,, my grand grandma because i only have scratches of memories but i dunno if that counts since she passed away...

*rummages through ancient scripts* uhh ok someone who isn't dead.. uhm,, tommie? yeah I'd like to meet them if i could meet anyone on earth

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

ok, the closest german, english or polish book? nvm i have english

"suddenly was. So I just said thank you a few times too, and Mum" ironically this is one of the normal lines in this book

4: What do you think about most?

the fact that I'll have to do something after school. and I don't know if i want to go to college or get a job bc i have no legitimate idea on what to do with my life. it gets overwhelming, just the lack of knowledge about the actual experience.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with, tho i sleep with just shorts in summer

7: What’s your strangest talent?

not sure if it's a talent, but i can fall asleep anywhere

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are pretty. boys are pretty

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

by me, yes. no one else has written a poem about me specifically. nvm, tommie wrote one and it shall rest on my wall, or desk, i need to find a place for it

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

uhh i think last month?

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

i don't think so, but i am hella afraid of the possibly gigantic, terrifying things in the ocean depths that humans haven't discovered yet

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

yep, beloved legos as a lil child

13: What’s your religion?

i can't ever remember the name, but i believe gods (from all religions) exist in some way or form. so i believe in different pantheons and etc.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking my doggo, skateboarding, thinking about how to make the lives of my characters worse

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

uhmm the arctic monkeys? or the strokes

17: What was the last lie you told?

i know what i want

18: Do you believe in karma?

yes, the rule of three specifically

19: What does your URL mean?

i don't know. it's something me and my sis came up with and that's just my whole identity now.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

uhh greatest weakness.. i can't finish things. strength is that I'm very stubborn so maybe I'll finish that thing out of spite

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

i grew up thinking crushes were like unicorns. my ex was odd enough to argue with that i didn't love her if i didn't have a crush on her. but I think if i had to guess.. selena gomez, especially in the role of alex russo in wizard of weverly street

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nope

23: How do you vent your anger?

i write angry letters. sometimes they're sad letters. i write a lot of letters. except i never send them out and no one made a movie about them :}

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

jars and witchy bottles, books? scented candles

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

phone calls are stressful enough as is, i don't need you to see my reading off what i frantically wrote to not stumble over my words

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

i think so, yes, but that won't stop me from becoming better

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hate flies buzzing right by my ear, love cat purring

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if I'd been born in a place where it was illegal for me (nonbinary) to live, in a time when others thought of me as a curse?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

they be chilling.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right arm, doggo, left arm, pillow

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

fresh air and doggo, because doggo is with me and I can't live without open windows

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

i dunno tbh

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

which one is less homophobic?

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

every gender is my opposite gender. selena gomez and justin timberlake

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to make it easier for people down the line

36: Define Art.

make thing, thing goes woo

37: Do you believe in luck?

yis

38: What’s the weather like right now?

it's nice actually, very sunny, slight breeze

39: What time is it?

12.59 am

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

i don't, but i once crashed into a fire department vehicle with my bike. bike ded.

41: What was the last book you read?

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

i legit ass don't know what gasoline smells like.

43: Do you have any nicknames?

many variations of my name, aka. Luce

44: What was the last film you saw?

i think it was Robin Hood: King of Thieves, but it might have been that half of spider-man homecoming i managed to watch with my poor internet

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

oh man i dunno... it's not an injury, but i was very sickly as a lil kid and almost died :)

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

once, years ago

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

hmmm horizon zero dawn i think

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

proud pansexual ^^

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

not really, i don't think they're big enough to be actual rumors,, meh

50: Do you believe in magic?

yis

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

meh. they suck, i know they suck, that's it.

52: What is your astrological sign?

cancer ♋

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i attempt saving. attempt

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

for my own money, sweets. i bought lizards for my cats so they can brush their teeth from my dad's amazon acc

55: Love or lust?

luv

56: In a relationship?

nope, i buy my own cookies

57: How many relationships have you had?

1, kinda toxic toward the end, very stressful, don't recommend

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nu ><

59: Where were you yesterday?

on the fields walking my doggo

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yep, a pastel pink hoodie in my closet uwu

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

yis, thicc warm socks

62: What’s your favourite animal?

cats

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

cuddles and food.

64: Where is your best friend?

bold of you to assume i have a best friend.

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

tommie-hildebrandt, kageyuji, nekomas-kuroo, joyful-soul-collector

66: What is your heritage?

I'm a demon boi from Poland tho that's not a thing to be proud of, i mean, look at the economy. awful.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

sleeping, trying to sleep.

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Pinkton. or Satan.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

this is such an odd combination of words i had to look it up. yea.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

a friend who won't laugh at me when i ask them to order smth for me because I'm too anxious to.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

excuse me? i am saving the doggo wtf. f u boss, I'm gonna sell my tragic story to the news.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) i tell my parents. b) live the hell out of them uwu c) nope uwu.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

history maker - dean fujioka :]

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

3332

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

communication, trust, some more communication.

77: How can I win your heart?

let's not pretend to be something else to please each other, and bring some bitter chocolate.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

maybe. it could. i don't have a say in it since my sanity is held by tape.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

eat the pizza. stop caring about others not liking me/parts of me. just living for myself uwu.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

uh i dunno how the american sizes work and i don't wanna look it up so, 39, 40 fits too.

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

demon boi

82: What is your favourite word?

socks.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

the bloody organ that sits in your chest and pumps blood into your body so you don't die.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

uhm im not sure if that counts as a saying, but fake it till you make it

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

blinding lights - the weeknd

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

oh a normal question people use for ice breaking, sea blue and pastel variations of it.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

like my wallpaper? or the actual picture that sits on my desk? or how my desk looks like atm? it's ugly, a lot of papers and pens and schoolbooks.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

donald trump. or the next asshole who'll try to take the rights of the lgbt and poc away

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

this. this is the question.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

yo there's a pizza somewhere in the refrigerator, want me to heat it up? we can have a sleep over and talk about our feelings :3

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

telekinesis! or shapeshifting! i could do such fun things with telekinesis ^^ yeah I'd totally eat some radioactive veggies

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

that time my "friends" got me into shoplifting, half-hour is more than enough to punch some sense into my brain and develop good music taste

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

can i save this one? i don't think i have an experience horrible enough to be erased haha

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

sleep as in.. uh no thank u. but I'm down for a sleep over with sam smith ^^

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

just me? what about my pets? my fam? it's lowkey illegal for me to go just anywhere without them owO

uhhmm, greece. imma become part of the greek pantheon out of pure spite. and maybe toronto canada.

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

not any that i know of o.o

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

i think i may have but i honestly don't remember

98: Ever been on a plane?

nope, i dunno if i like planes, but I'd probably sleep if i were on one.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

yeet.

#that was long #probably because my stubborn ass wanted to make pretty formatting #shiishki.rambles #shiishki.interacts with tommie

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cordonian-literature · 4 years

Text

The Aftermath - Ch. 2

International News

Summary: Drake finds news about Riley and goes to tell Liam

Word Count: ~2.7k

Warning: Mention of character death

*All characters belong to Pixelberry, except those that are unique to my story (I’ve also used some characters and fictional instances from Donna Tartt’s “The Goldfinch”)*

Catch up here!

Tags: @captain-kingliamsqueen @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @gkittylove99 @lovablegranny @loudbluebirdlover @mom2000aggie @kingliam2019

- DRAKE -

Taking the leftover pizza out of the microwave, Drake eats his dinner leaned against the kitchen counter, facing his empty living room. He had Bartie over last weekend. When the boy walked in, the entire place felt more illuminated. Not only was the place more lively with some company, but Drake was finally able to see exactly how boring his cabin was — of course, the initial plan was to go camping, but it started raining, so Drake thought his place would be the next best thing. But alas, it wasn’t. He did his best to make the place a little more fun and to make Bartie’s time with him enjoyable. All he wanted was to give his nephew a break from courtly life. When Savannah came to pick him up Monday morning, the house felt dim again. He knew that even if he preferred being alone, he wouldn’t enjoy it as much as he would’ve enjoy being with friends or with the people he cared about.

Tonight was supposed to be the night that he and Liam went out drinking, but Liam had to reschedule due to an overload of meetings. Drake didn’t take it personally, and was recently used to Liam distancing himself from everyone.

After Riley had left, Hana, Maxwell, and Drake went to Los Angeles to try and find Tariq by themselves. When they got him to give an announcement, it was sent out in the middle of Liam’s and Madeleine’s engagement shower, even though the group wanted desperately to do it quietly. Drake remembered Liam’s face after Madeleine had calmed down the crowd and was giving her own thoughts about how the court had treated Riley; Liam had scanned the crowd for her face, his eyes passing over the faces of his three friends, no Riley in sight. Afterwards, Drake had to tell the entire group that Riley had left the night before. He thought she was bluffing, so he did nothing to stop it.

The court remained in New York for another long week, in an attempt to try and find Riley. They’d gone anywhere they thought could help find her, even the bar they first met her at and her old apartment. They even tracked down Daniel, Riley’s co-worker. Liam had gone as far as to tell Bastien to do a background check on her parents and had a security team monitor her mother’s house for any signs of her.

Drake had been the one to put the issue of finding Riley on his shoulders. His guilt for letting Riley leave that night was something that he knew he would take to his grave. Sometimes he’d work with Olivia and Maxwell — Hana had left court after there was no sign of Riley returning. They’d send small search parties internationally and contacted any establishment that they thought she would have any association with.

Of course, nothing turned up, but Drake still kept his eye on international news, while Maxwell and Olivia continued their own searches. Even though they’d all lost hope for finding Riley long ago, she still remained in the back of their thoughts.

The two best friends were beginning to distance, but Drake was glad that him and Liam were at least trying to stay connected — even though he had moved out of the palace a while ago, his cabin wasn’t a ten minute drive away.

After putting his plate in the sink, he took out his phone and decided to scroll through the internet and current news.

Out of all the states in the country Drake paid attention to in his search, he slowly began to ignore New York. He figured that if she didn’t want to be found, that would be the last place she would go.

He begins pouring himself a glass of whiskey, when he stumbles upon a vague article title:

America Left in Shock as Country's Largest Museum is Bombed Over the Weekend.

With the slight hope that the museum wasn't in New York, he clicks on the link and reads about a bomb going off in a new exhibit in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. He almost exited out before noticing that an internationally known CEO had been found dead and a Senator was badly injured.

He keeps scrolling and sees the subtitle Known Visitors around Time of Incident and Their Conditions. Beneath it was a list of names with either “dead”, “injured”, or “unknown” written in bold next to them.

He scans through the names, as he's always done with any list ever since Riley left, a dull hope in the back of his mind that one day there'd be a list with her name on it. His heart gives a jolt when he reads “Riley Brooks injured”.

- Liam -

After hours of back to back meetings with dignitaries and ambassadors from all over the world, Liam finally gets a chance to close his eyes and lean back in his chair. A rare moment of peace.

He didn’t mind the workload. In fact he embraced it. It allowed him to distract his mind and his heart from the void Riley had created when she left. Years after her departure, Liam never stopped putting the blame on himself. He regretted the heartache he put her through during the Engagement Tour. He regretted that she had to suffer her name being dragged through the mud by hundreds of thousands of people around the world. He regretted every moment he didn’t tell her that he loved her. He regretted every moment that he didn’t cherish her. Every moment he hadn’t held her in his arms had been a moment wasted.

Of course she’d want to leave me, he told himself routinely. I never deserved her. What type of man forgets to cherish such a precious being? How did I forget to cherish the woman who stood by my side even when she was experiencing Hell?

Diving head-first into his work was a necessary reprieve from this thoughts. He would never want to forget her, but he hated remembering how he didn’t keep her safe. This life of loneliness was his punishment, and he believed he deserved it.

When the door opens and the light thud of Drake’s foot steps barrel towards him, Liam doesn’t open his eyes, but asks, “How are you Drake? Did you have a nice weekend with Bartie?”

Drake freezes. “How did you know I spent the weekend with him?”

“Maxwell told me.” He looks at Drake and goes to fill a glass of scotch for himself and some whiskey for Drake. “He usually calls to tell me how his day’s been going. That day he was particularly upset. Sunday, I think it was. I heard Bertrand or Savannah trying to cheer him up in the background, though I couldn’t make out the most of what they were saying through the sobs.”

Drake takes the glass of whiskey. “He cried to you? About what?” Maxwell crying or showing any emotion wouldn’t have been surprising when Riley was around, but after she left, everyone had bottled up their feelings. It seemed unnatural, but everyone was so focused on hiding their own emotions from one another that they didn't even notice that they were all doing the same thing. Lately though, the walls they had built around themselves were crumbling. Their decade of ignored pain was becoming too much to handle, but none of them were ready to face it yet.

Liam sighs, looking down at his drink. “About how Riley never got to meet Bartie.”

“She saw him in Paris.”

Shaking his head, Liam says, “It’s not the same.”

The men take a moment to finish their drinks, the silence hanging between them, as was usual when anything about Riley, her social season, or the Engagement Tour ever came up.

“Speaking of Riley,” Drake starts, pulling out his phone. “She’s in New York.”

“What?” Liam jolts to attention and reaches for the phone, scanning the screen that Drake opened up for him. When he looks at her name, he can’t take his eyes off of it.

Riley Brooks. His Riley.

Injured, but alive.

The article was uploaded less than two hours ago.

Disbelief, shock, pain, and hope all flash through Liam’s face when he looks up at Drake, who explains what happened at the Met, and when he’s done relaying the information that he has, Liam takes a moment to absorb it all. He pulls out his own phone and looks for more articles to read; he was alive with the need to see her name again, the need to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. After all this time, it felt too good to be true.

He’s only able to type “The Met NYC” before he looks back at Drake and breathes, “Maxwell and Hana. We need to let them know.”

Drake takes a moment to respond. Liam scans his friend’s face, and is shocked to find himself expecting Drake to disagree.

And he does: “I don’t think that’s the best idea right now. We should take our time and approach this slowly.”

“Not the best idea?” Liam stands, abandoning his phone. He blinks a couple times, making sure that he's really in the moment, and that he really just heard those words come out of Drake's mouth. “When will it be the best idea?” He stands, leaning against the table to close the distance between himself and Drake. “Eleven damn years isn’t a long enough wait for you?”

“Liam that’s not what I meant. I just think we should give her space. Reach out to her. She's been hurt—.”

“Space?" He turns around and begins to pace. There are too many words, and he doesn’t know how to get them all out. After a desperate decade of trying to find her, trying to find the only woman he’s ever really loved, he has to wait even longer? "Where was ‘give her space’ when you ran after her car the night of my coronation? When you wanted to jump on the plane to New York and follow her?” He took a moment to stare down at Drake. “Do you understand how hard it’s been, religiously searching for her name in every one of Bastien's daily reports? Waiting for Maxwell or Olivia or you to call and say that you've found her or had a lead? Do you understand how hard it is, traveling without her by my side, or without her waiting for me back home? How hard it is, during every damned press conference,” his voice breaks, “being asked of my marrying or at least producing an heir? I can’t get over it. I can’t get over her.” He puts his head in his hands. “Ten damned years and she’s still the person I work to be a good king for...." He takes a deep breath, trying to control his volume. "I understand that you are in pain as well, Drake, she's a sore wound to pick at, but we’ve all been hurting. Maxwell cries about how his ‘little blossom’ would have enjoyed the last Beaumont Bash and how she would have made it more memorable, or how there’s no one else he would want to star with him in his ‘breakdance opera’. We have been calling Hana incessantly over the past five years about returning to court. Do you know what she said to me a few weeks ago? She said she doesn’t want to return without Riley. That it won’t be the same without her. And when I gave my speech to the court and to the people at Applewood last month, it felt just like that, so so empty. All these years—.”

A knock on the door interrupts Liam. He leans back, dusts off his clothes and takes a moment to compose himself, making sure no tears escaped him. He calls for the person to enter and Olivia walks in.

“Liam,” she starts, but stops herself as she notices Drake sitting in front of his desk, and how tense Liam’s shoulders are.

“What is it, Duchess Olivia?” Liam asks.

“It’s Riley,” she starts, all business. “She’s in New York, but has been injured after a bomb went off in a museum she was visiting. I don’t know which hospital she might be in, but I have a list of places I assumed they'd put her.”

“We know about Riley,” Drake scoffs. “Since we know where she is, finding the hospital they put her in shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Actually, there’s quite a number of hospitals she could be in. I called some to check if her name was on their list of patients brought in from the bombing, but they said the hospital they put the victims in would depend on the type of injury. And since I’m not exactly in New York, they wouldn’t let me know if she was there or not, and said I’d have to be there in person for them to give me information.”

“I’ll have Bastien look into it,” Liam suggests.

“Hopefully he’ll have narrowed it down before you get there,” she says.

The men fall silent, looking between themselves and Olivia.

“What?” she spits, taken aback. “You two have been an emotional mess because of her for the past decade and now that you know where she is, you don’t want to see her? You’ve given up, just like that? At the most crucial moment? I didn’t take you two for such cowards.”

Drake stands, balling his fists. “Giving her space isn’t called being cowardly.”

“Maybe not,” she speculates, “but what is cowardly is letting someone you love leave without fighting for them.”

Liam puts his hand up, asking for peace. “We will go.” Drake looks back at him, but Liam doesn’t meet his eyes. “We were discussing whether we should tell Hana or Maxwell yet.”

“Tell them before you take off. They’ll catch up.”

“Will you be accompanying us?” Liam asks.

Olivia’s face falls. “I think it’s best if you all greet her first. If she’s to receive a reminder of Cordonia, I’m sure my face isn’t one she’d want to see first.”

“Nonsense,” Liam claims.

Drake looks back at Liam. “I’ll go tell Bastien,” he says. “Get some things together, Liam. I don’t know how long we’ll be gone, but pack quickly. Hopefully we’ll be able to take off within the hour.”

...

Liam had taken many trips across the Atlantic after Riley left. Though more than half of his trips were for political conferences or parties, the other times Liam would come to just absorb the atmosphere of the city: the constant motion, the consistent energy of people always going somewhere, needing to be in another place, waiting to start something new, unafraid of any interruptions as long as no one stopped moving. It reminded him of her.

Looking down at the water under the plane, Liam imagined what Riley would have been thinking about on her first flight to Cordonia with Maxwell and Drake. Was she nervous, excited, regretful? All of the above? He wondered if she ever crossed the Atlantic again, after she left. Did she ever dream of visiting Cordonia, the same way Liam dreamed of greeting her at the airport after all that time?

He couldn’t even remember what it felt like, to be in her embrace, to force himself not to look back at her during courtly functions when they were on the Engagement Tour. He carried the memories of their stolen moments like talismans, and more than anything he wished he had savored those moments more.

After the men are off of the plane, Bastien told them that they all have to go through a mandatory security check, a precaution after the city had been closed off for the weekend. He notified Liam and Drake that he wasn’t able to get farther than what Duchess Olivia had found. He suggested visiting the hospitals one by one.

“That could take days,” Drake protested. "There has to be a faster way."

Liam thought about contacting Riley’s mother, hoping that the woman had heard something about her daughter and could help them locate her. He decided against it, not only thinking that the woman might not be alive, but he thought it better to respect her family’s privacy. After all, they were in the same city. Their reunion was inevitable.

#the royal romance #cordonia #liam x mc #liam x riley #kingliam #drakewalker #trr #rileybrooks #liam rys #choices fanfic #the royal romance fanfic #trr mc x liam #trr fanfic #trr fandom

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pochapal · 4 years

Note

rank every year of the 2010s from best to worst i want some pochapal lore

[warning for discussion of my fucked up mental health and my myriad traumas. we’re really opening the pandora’s box here gang]

ok time for me to overshare on the internet again! super long post because i can’t shut up and you asked for it. anyway, by objective ranking:

#1: 2012 - halcyon era, my personal peak. spent the whole year writing hunger games oc fics with my deviantart fanfiction besties whom i still think about all the time and always hope are having the best possible day. if you were here for this era understand i still hold you so closely and dearly in my heart <3.

#2: 2013 - god i was such a good example of a human being back then. was the year my writing like actually took off and i had a healthy balance between creative stuff and a social life (said social life consisting of spending lunchtimes at school breaking into classrooms and discussing fandom shit with five other people. reading homestuck updates in the music room on one person’s really shaky mobile data...legendary). highlight of the year and maybe my life was in the april of 2013 when i got out of failing to submit a hard deadline essay by telling my english teacher i wrote a whole novel over the two week break and then producing said novel. god i wish i had that level of like. fucking confidence back me back then knew what i wanted and how to get it.

#3: 2010 - the last year of childhood. i was 12 and played pokemon all the time with my friends and went places and had a moderately successful youtube channel and it didn’t matter that i was bullied so badly at school because i was basically high off life. summer of 2010 was so good specifically. i’d used to get the bus with a friend and go see movies and break into historical sites and get into normal childhood mayhem and maxed out my pokewalkers twice a month and i was buzzed because i had two (2) whole friendship groups to choose from and that was such a huge deal to me the terminal social outcast. it was so simple and carefree and even though everything and everyone involved in this era grew up to suck except for one specific person i kinda really miss it.

#4: 2018 - this was the first year i wasn’t depressed to the point of nonfunctioning. it was 20gayteen, i was on antidepressants, i was as close to thriving as i got at uni (going into town with people once a week, attending art and culture events, getting good grades across the board), i started to write for fun again, i got my cat whom i love dearly, i was exhibited in my uni’s city’s literature festival, GOD i actually nearly attended a pride event that year can you imagine. this year was basically my life’s second peak. miss getting the 8am train and daintily sipping on a cherry coke to keep me from passing out. wish this time could have lasted longer.

#5: 2019 - kinda absolute middle of the road year not for lack of anything happening but because the overwhelming amount of good and bad things cancelled each other out. so like there’s the fact that i was at the top of my uni game this year, was basically making the first steps into a professional writing career (covid i will never forgive you for killing all that dead </3), finally saved up enough to buy myself a gaming pc, and the summer after the homestuck epilogues, but equally 2019 was the start of the Pochapal Gender Fiasco which is by far the most horrible thing i am still currently undergoing and i burnt myself out mentally about halfway through the year (being stuck overnight in a hospital for a panic attack absolutely horrible horrible irredeemable) and then got like super death plague flu that i was sick with for three months (literally recovered less than a month before rona hit. god’s cruel karma.). so like...it kind of averaged out? the good shit was good but not as great as other years and the bad shit was awful but nowhere near as terrible as it could have been. gotta give a shoutout to 90% of my current mutual cohort for following me in 2019...omelette route gang make some noise !!

#6: 2014 - oof. this year essentially marked the start of a four year long downward mental health spiral because everything fell into awful alignment. i’d just turned 16, finished secondary school, had all my friends up and ditch me at once, was home alone for a whole summer, and was hit with Sudden Intense Body Image Issues that i couldn’t explain until uh. after very recent developments lmao. this one goes out to the me of july 2014 who did nothing but lay in bed and listen to the same two marina albums on a loop because fuck i’m attracted to men and also my facial and body hair are really starting to come in and if i think about this for too long i will literally kill myself because oh god i can’t handle getting older which is clearly and definitely the issue going on here. my brain fucking broke super hardcore and it’s a miracle that an overeating disorder was like the worst thing i walked away with.

#7: 2015 - downward spiral year two!! i was so volatile this year it was such a mess. i was totally socially isolated after a brief stint of falling in with a group of people at the start of my first year of sixth form until january where in quick succession a) it turned out every single one of these people was friends with the person who sexually assaulted me whom i obviously had a lot of complicated feelings towards and b) baby’s first crush came out as bisexual but in the “women and also trans women” kind of way which tore me up so terribly in ways i couldn’t begin to understand. no words for the experience of seeing a girl kiss a boy and crying so hard at night you threw up because you could never be her no matter how much you wanted it. actually kinda get the sense what was going on there was bigger than just some crush lmao. then after that i was so mentally ill i basically attended school less than half the time and it was the only year in my life i failed my exams. i ended up having to resit my entire set of first year a level exams because jesus christ was i in such a bad way it was a miracle i even showed up to them. all i did was either have anxiety attacks or enter bedbound depressive slumps for weeks at a time. but it’s okay because it gets worse.

#8: 2016 - downward spiral act iii: the spiralling. prefacing this by saying that i actually had two whole good months (april - may) in that i was functioning enough to do my exams and finish school with decent grades. the rest was super extra mega terrible. my school attendance for year 13 dipped below 65% and literally the only thing that kept me from being kicked out was the fact that i was naturally smart at the subjects i took and also because the school would have a lot to answer for after letting me get to that state despite having a hefty file on how damaged i was. keep in mind every single part of this was fully untreated btw - i was just floundering around and letting it all fester. i spent three solid weeks going to school but locking myself in the bathroom all day every day and having mental health episodes then going home like nothing else happened only to continue the breakdown that night. then things got kicked into fucked up overdrive when i moved out to uni and was cut off from what little support structures i did have. it was so bad all i did was cry all the time and never went anywhere to the point where three separate sources recommended me to the wellbeing and crisis counselling service that i stopped going to after two sessions because i was fucked up in ways cbt techniques could not even touch. at least i tried to make an effort for the first two months of uni which like. good for me?

#9: 2017 - what lieth at the base of the spiral. helltrench year. i was at literal rock bottom. i stopped going to class, i didn’t hand in a single piece of work. i lied to my parents and would book trains each day only to go back to my student flat and sit there and contemplate suicide. like i would just slump on the floor in a catatonic state and vividly contemplate one of four or so ways i could end my own life. i only didn’t because i wanted to wait until the summer to collect my last student loan and transfer it to my parents as an apology for my death which obviously didn’t end up happening. honestly i can’t remember much of the first half of 2017 that’s how bad it was. i remember taking a gender studies class and the teacher made it Weird that i was the Only Male Student in the room and then she sent me a scolding email after i walked out halfway through a class and never returned. apparently i got into a lot of online discourse in this year but i don’t remember anything other than being put on a blocklist by the milkfic author over ace discourse which is funny if you have the context. mostly i just baited terfs and weirdo freaks to get them to say horrible things to me as what i guess amounts to some kind of digital self harm. anyway breaking point came in late august when i got kicked out of university and then nobody could ignore it any more so there was no choice left but for me to seek out help and recover enough to function which luckily i did. i really Do Not remember 2017. you could tell me anything about that year and i’d probably believe you.

#10: 2011 - extra circle of hell for this little fucked up gem of a year. on the surface it wasn’t actually that terrible, until the Summer 2011 Domino Effect Of Bad Shit. up until like may/june it was a pretty all right year! i was 13 and had a surprisingly successful youtube channel uploading pokemon soundfont remixes to an audience of i think ~350-400 subscribers at my peak? anyway then i got hit with the early summer triple combo of childhood friends moving away, cute and quirky sexual assault at the hands of a person in my friend group, and then having some Really Great and Super Appropriate interactions with adults on deviantart. like obviously there’s the actual ptsd-inducing event which totally disrupted and killed the person i was right up until that moment and reshaped every facet of my life for better or worse (there’s an alternate timeline where that didn’t happen and i got into electronic music and/or coding instead) but really it’s the events that followed in its wake which were kind of more fucked up. so like all of a sudden i was super aware of my body and me growing my hair out and being mistaken for a girl in class suddenly became this Less Innocent thing and i ended up spending hours overnight going to transgender questioning forums and looking up hrt timeline videos and having the wikipedia article on tracheal shaving saved because it was a life raft to me whose voice was imminently gonna deepen and i was simultaneously reeling with constant trauma flashbacks and the whole thing was so so fucked up. then i was on deviantart and i don’t remember exactly how but a small group of furry guys ten to fifteen years older than me started messaging me and encouraging and requesting me to produce nonsexual fetish stuff for them and talking to me about stuff like if i’d ever thought about growing up to be gay and i didn’t think anything of it for a long while because they called me a very talented writer and it felt so good to have someone be nice to me after being so alone and isolated for months on end. anyway the only reason i got out of that before it got bad was because they invited me to one of the big furry sites and i was weirded out because i thought it was a porn site and thinking about sexual stuff was a huge trauma trigger so i just ended up blocking them all and pretending like it didn’t happen. at the time half this shit didn’t bother me but in retrospect holy fuck 2011 was such a damaging year. to think if like three events didn’t happen i wouldn’t be the fucked up mess you see before you today.

god fuck this turned out super long but i’m not apologising because this was a therapeutic exercise for me and also constitutes as one of the biggest pochapal lore dumps of all time. come get your food or whatever.

#Anonymous #long post #read all of this if you have vested interest in knowing intimate details about my life or whatever

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years

Text

32. God Bless the Child

Previous || Word Count 7132

The next year was eventful for a tremendous amount of reasons.

First and foremost, Grace had a World Tour scheduled for the end of spring, entire summer, and beginning of fall. That meant that Hazel had the chance to travel, stuck with staff most of the time, or her mom the OTHER portion of time. She didn’t want to do that. Hazel liked seeing new things and traveling, even being around crowds of people, but she was going through puberty and often just wanted to chill with her friends or even by herself, to write poetry, maybe record some of her raps, and work on comics. Of course, Grace told her that if she could do that anywhere, it was in the tour bus.

Simon’s final book was going to be released in the summer, and he was going to begin working on the movie production for the (hopefully first and not only) film in the fall. Whether or not the studio would want to make more would depend on the success of this film, and the budget would be determined by what types of sales this last book made.

Grace was always going on about “an ecosystem,” a concept that one of her favorite influencers spoke about. Basically, she believed that whenever you had the chance to give people that you knew of/believed in a shot, you should do that. So, Simon wanted to get the studio in business with the tech company that he currently worked for, for numerous aspects of the production.

Simon already had multiple prototypes for animatronics and pointed plans for various aspects of this movie. A deal like that could really help the company (that he may or may not be staying at once he finished with this huge movie project), which also might be a situation in which he could be working on many of these things and get paid from his company as well, in the meantime for the work that fell under the studio’s umbrella. It would help all of them, and save money and trouble in other areas where he might have problems with CGI concerns and such.

Simon had been preparing for if Esmoroth took off big his entire life. He still had models at home, and years worth of world building, sketches, schematics, simulations, mini movies, files of programming for how various scenes looked in his mind.

These things being considered, whenever Simon put his and Grace’s schedules side by side at the beginning of the year to find opportunities and plan special events… well… They were not matching up very well. “I don’t like this Grace. I know that sometimes we take a few days apart, but our longest stint has been 2 weeks and 4 days… This calendar makes it look like we might see each other in increments of 6-8 weeks at a time, more than once and the fragments in between are…” He started breathing hard and she wrapped her arms around him from behind. He placed his hands over hers. “Okay. You’re right. We can do this.” She just smiled. She hadn’t said that, but that was basically what she wanted to convey. “Montanus’ arrival is scheduled for the 4th of July weekend.”

“Yeah. I’ll be flying out there. Are you coming?”

“Can’t. But, I’ll be there for the christening… which… you have a show the night before, so… Are you going to be there?”

“I’m planning on it. My show the night before is a few hours away, so I should be able to make it the next morning and still dash out to the next venue.”

“Sweet. Then, I’ll catch the show that night.”

“My period is that weekend.”

“Ugh. I mean… not that I don’t still love you then…”

“We both know why you’re here,” she said, chuckling.

“Because I can’t function outside of your divinity,” he replied, quicker than she was prepared for. He made note of all the spaces that he would have to possibly see her on this tour and started looking into the accommodations that he would need whenever he did.

Grace had hit after hit after hit on her album, her old original stuff was starting to receive a resurgence of streams and her pages were getting more traffic than her current team was able to handle some days. But, she simply reached out, within her ecosystem for others that might be able to join said team and make things flow better. Meanwhile, she didn’t get onto social media much. One of her problems with fully letting down her walls was the fact that surfing the Internet always made her have to take a look at how people viewed her. She had to start considering that no matter how well she did or how hard she tried, someone out there would have a problem with her, and because she was famous, it would be a lot of someones.

Hazel was online more with her work. She liked to enter freestyle challenges, submit her spoken word, publish her poems. She called her current brand of creativity “Doetry,” and she had a pretty increasingly large following. Simon usually helped to administrate, because Grace was never great at that type of thing and also because he didn’t trust Internet weirdos enough to not be involved.

She was going through things, but he never censored her or intruded. He monitored to make sure that nobody was making her life any harder than it had to be, being raised in NYC and the daughter of a very public figure, and also Simon, who was important enough, depending on who you asked… and he was getting to the point where he might reach notable fame.

May 19 was a Tuesday that year, so they would be spending the previous weekend celebrating Hazel’s birthday and her actual birthday would just be a school day that everyone on social media sent her birthday wishes on. Simon took time off to take Hazel, Lucy, Lindsay, Alex, Todd, and Louis to Grace for the weekend. The way that the schedule was set up, she wouldn’t have had the time to leave and come back and go to her next venue, but they would have the time to come to her. Hazel suggested that she just miss out, but Grace was NOT going to do that, especially with the year that Hazel had been having. So, she paid for Hazel’s friends to come with.

Simon found it fascinating that these kids’ parents were entrusting the children to him to get on a plane together, travel to another state, spend more than one night there, and fly them back home safely.

He supposed it was similar to a Scouts trip, or a school trip… but he was just the “parent” of another child. He wasn’t a scout leader or teacher. Then again, those were just people too, he guessed. He would NOT feel comfortable sending Hazel on a plane with any of these children’s parents, except for maybe Lucy’s.

But, Simon found that his old scouts instincts kicked in when being responsible for a group of kids, but this time around he had that nagging dad-like behavior that the past couple of years around Hazel had given him.

Being off for Hazel’s birthday, she arranged for them to have a spa day retreat. The kids and some of the staff were included in this, though not as advanced a day as Grace and Hazel. Whenever they met up and had their indulgences, Simon could barely keep his hands off of Grace. Hazel felt a little bit slighted.. It was HER birthday, after all. They didn’t have to be cozied up the whole time. Of course, Grace presumed she wanted to spend most of her time with her friends, and whenever they finished with cake and began listening to music and chilling, Grace and Simon left them with the Nanny so that they could have some alone time. Hazel aired her grievances to her friends. She hated that Grace was on tour. She hated that their home life was separated into different worlds that she had to board and unboard. Lindsay understood it perfectly. Her dad was sometimes not home for weeks or months. Sometimes, she didn’t see her mom (who actually lived with her) for days. Sometimes, whenever she did see her, the woman was busy with making appearances and performing shows, and she DIDN’T have a nanny. She just had to be at home by herself a lot. Whenever her dad was there, he’d have his friends over a lot. They would disrupt Lindsey’s quiet, but she would be grateful that she wasn’t alone. She would LOVE if her parents tried to include her in their worlds like Grace and Simon did with Hazel.

Lucy’s parents were usually there whenever she needed them, but they didn’t seem to be very happy. They were always together, but the only time that she saw them smile at each other or talk to each other was whenever they were out in public. Her father was a politician, and her mother was a public figure, simply for being his wife and being a good conservative wife who followed his guidelines. Lucy… didn’t care for any of it. She would’ve liked to just have two people who love each other like Grace and Simon seemed to.

Hazel felt a little better, because apparently, she had pretty good parents. She also didn’t feel a little better, because she still felt dissatisfied.

Whenever Simon and Grace made it back, after the others were asleep, Hazel talked to Simon about letting her stay home with him after the school year ended. Both Grace and him loved her, right? So, she should be able to stay home, near her friends, in her comfort zone, and then she’d see Grace when she got home, and she’d be crazy excited about it, like she used to be when she didn’t get to see her everyday. Like she was whenever she saw her this weekend!

Simon reluctantly let her know he would be much busier in the summer than he was at the moment. He was at home with her and the Nanny as much as possible, but he reminded her that there was less than a month left of school and then she would be with her mom again. Her mom had ONLY been gone now for about a month… Hazel didn’t know if he could hear himself basically saying, “It’s only a couple of months away from your mom, both of you changing over that time in different ways and potentially growing apart, then you get to be awkwardly thrown back together because I’m not actually your parent and can’t wait until she can take you back!” He didn’t say that, but that was what she heard. She nodded her head, sadly, and Grace chimed in to remind her that she’d be on tour with her! They hadn’t been able to be together in almost a month and after one more, they would! Hazel smiled. “Of course, Grace. I can’t wait. We’re gonna have a lot of fun.”

Hazel finished off the school year with the Nanny and Simon. They flew out to meet with Grace, in June, spent a couple of days together, then Simon was headed back home, to focus on his stupid important things, Hazel couldn’t help but think. And she was pissed at him, too. She had been mopey and basically on autopilot most of this time, even with Grace trying desperately to cheer her up whenever she had some free time.

She just wanted a summer where she could hang out and have fun if she wanted to. Grace asked her to at least give her a couple of weeks to prove that this could be a fun experience. However, Grace kept running into that troublesome hassle of the public being pushy and entitled. Hazel and she kept either getting rushed in and out of places and trapped for a while, bothered every few minutes when they weren’t holed up, or surrounded by staff getting things done in between performances. Hazel lasted two weeks, then cried and begged to go home and be able to see her friends. It broke Grace’s heart but she promised to let Hazel go back with Simon after the stop in California for her baby brother’s birth.

Grace felt super rejected and cried about it, but if that was what Hazel really wanted, she didn’t want her career to make her feel stressed out. Her mother was quite a smartass about it. “Who would have thought that it might be difficult to focus on a demanding career while raising a child?”

“I didn’t call you for this.”

“Of course not. What did you call for?”

She wanted to know how the surrogate was. Grace didn’t know what it said about someone that they would rent out their body to grant someone else a child, but she could totally understand the flipside. Whenever Simon mentioned babies, she was extremely willing to adopt again, even the smallest baby that they would be able to be matched with… but nothing statistically made her have an inkling of wanting to actually change her entire body, probably for the worse so that she could potentially die to bring someone else into the world that she would immediately begin having to take care of and put everything into. It was hard enough to do with Hazel, and getting harder all of the time.

When that child’s period came around in February, Grace picked her up from school, gathered up the products she was most interested in (products from Grace’s own line), provided snacks, emergency meds, just in case, and any information that Hazel wasn’t certain about. Simon came over with a gift basket of stuff that had been suggested to him by browsing nice things to do for periods. They really wanted her to be comfortable and safe. She just wanted them to stay the fuck out of her room and let her lay down and write poems.

She didn’t get how Grace had period yoga, and heightened self care. The LAST thing Hazel felt like doing was caring about anything, even self. She wanted to rest and to rage. That was it. Grace would buy her flowers and say something silly like, “Whenever my period comes around, sometimes, flowers make me feel happier,” Then just… leave a pot with an orchid, or geraniums, or a peace lily in her room… to have to what? Care for a flower now TOO, as well as self?? Hazel hated the way her period made her feel. She spoke to her therapist about it and was advised to speak to her mother and potentially a gynecologist about it as well. Hazel put that conversation off, though.

She seemed her happiest whenever she was able to go to her grandparents’ to wait for the baby with them. Grace… didn’t understand…

Simon explained, “You don’t remember being 12 and not wanting to be around our parents?”

“Our parents sucked though! And she WANTS to be around my parents!”

“She wants to meet her baby uncle,” Simon told her and wrapped himself around her.

“Has she mentioned anything to you? I know that sometimes she feels more comfortable telling you stuff than she does me, since you aren’t her parent…”

He let go and frowned, “Wow.”

“I mean… There’s paperwork, Simon. You aren’t…”

“I know, but, I step in as much as you did before that, maybe even more. I understand that she technically isn’t mine, but she's important to me, too, Grace.”

“I know, but…” she sighed and shook her head, “I’m not trying to start a fight. Of course you’re as present as any father has ever been for her. I wasn’t trying to downgrade that, and I didn’t mean to sound like I was. I just wanted to know if she’d said anything to you about me.”

“No. She’s not talking to me. But, she does express herself via Doetry.”

“Her content is so angry and dark…”

“What she shares, at least…” Grace threw him a warning look. “I’m not saying make it a habit, but maybe taking a peek into her personal stuff might give you some type of clue as to what she needs right now.”

"I'm not snooping into Hazel's things, Simon. There's a reason that she shares what she shares and hides whatever she hides, IF she's hiding anything. I don't want to parent that way."

"Okay."

"And I'm also saying that you shouldn't."

"Noted."

"Okay… what I meant by shouldn't is don't do it."

"So, it's an order?"

"Yes."

He sighed. Hazel WAS Grace's daughter, legally, and he didn't want to do anything that he didn't have permission to. "Okay." It took him longer to say it than Grace had gotten accustomed to, but she knew he meant it and that it was hard for him to agree to this wish. She strummed his cheek with her thumb and he leaned into it and smirked. It was also easy to make him forget whenever she upset him. She leaned up just enough to kiss him on the nose and he blushed. She giggled. “What?”

“The fact that you’ll blush when I kiss you on the nose when you literally have been putting your nose right in between my thighs for almost 2 years.”

He blushed even more and shrugged his shoulders, “I’m blushing then, too. You just don’t notice because you’re usually quivering in pleasure.”

Sha gasped, “Cocky,” she said and elbowed him playfully.

“Confident… and accurate.”

“You don’t have to SAY it,” she said, now blushing herself.

He didn’t call her on it. Just seeing it was enough. Simon kissed her on the forehead and whispered, “I love you…” Her smile vanished and he furrowed his eyebrows, staring at her mouth in disappointment. “Sorry. I thought…”

“No… Don’t be. I guess it had to come up some time…” She stared at her hands. “I don’t know how to… I feel like my actions should… I know sometimes people just need to hear it, I just…”

“Please, stop.” He laughed, but was red and she had a feeling not from blushing. “You’re making it worse.”

“I just… Had an immediate flashback to the first time you told me and… I don’t know. This was so different, and you’re so different, and I have no idea why my brain is doing this to us…”

He wanted to say because of what he did to her, but hell.. That was really long ago and like she said, everything was different now. One day, she HAD to forgive him! He shrugged his shoulders, “You can’t control how you feel any more than I could.”

She frowned and nodded. Then, fortunately, Hazel came rushing in, "He's coming!" Simon and Grace both rushed into the birthing quarters where Mrs. Monroe, the documentation crew, the surrogate, midwife and such were. Hazel and Simon stood out of the way while Grace rushed to the surrogate and asked the midwife what she should do. (She was designated as her birthing partner, as she felt bad that her parents didn't seem to see her as anything more than a vessel) Grace spent a lot of time reading up to try to prepare for this.

It was a powerful time. It LOOKED as painful as it sounded from everything she read that discouraged her, but she tried to be strong for the surrogate. Simon was really impressed with how much Grace was able to do for her. He knew that she had become very empathetic over the years, but it was honestly a side of her he still hadn't seen. Meanwhile, Mrs. Monroe looked on, excitedly, but useless.

Whenever Montanus was born, Grace and the surrogate were both crying and Grace complimented her and told her how she was stronger than (Grace) could ever hope to be. When Grace tried to show her the baby, Mrs. Monroe cut her off and collected him, then gave the nurses some instructions for seeing to her. She was about to have delivery day photos taken.

"None with Astrid, Mom?" Grace wondered, still holding the woman's hand.

"You can, if you insist," she said. "Bad enough your father is late. I don't want to hold everyone up."

Grace was going to say more, but the surrogate squeezed and tugged her hand to get her attention and shook her head. "I signed up for this," she said, quietly. "It's not like he's mine…"

"You held him. You changed. You grew. You hurt. You bled. You cried. You.."

"Signed up for that." But she looked sad. Ao sad that Grace decided at that moment of she EVER DID have a surrogate, it was going to be a fellowship. A sisterhood. A loving connection in which she repaid the person with respect as well as her fee. She was a human. How her mother was able to just plant Montanus inside of her and basically discard her afterwards made Grace feel sick. She didn't even go with Simon and Hazel to see the baby. She was more concerned about this woman who had to put on a strong face after a really hard job.

Later, when she had to leave and also send Hazel off with Simon, she cried on him. "I'm not gonna do that to my surrogate. It was really mean, right? That was so cold…"

Simon rubbed her back, "Grace… it's a business transaction."

"He's not a transaction! He's my brother and he JUST got here, and Mom's ALREADY treating him like an asset. She messed up one kid and she’s had two decades to learn better emotional intelligence. The restart doesn’t look good to me.."

"She's bad at the emotional stuff, but she's trying," Simon offered. You aren't like her and you'll never have to be. You can treat your surrogate as sweetly as you please. But...I have to agree with your mom that they didn't need to connect. That'd just make it harder.

"She couldn't even say hi to him? After all of that?"

"It's what they agreed to. She would have taken one look at him and tried to keep him."

"She wouldn't be able to. He's from my parents' DNA. It was just… so uncomfortably cold. You should bring a baby into a warm life. I was too upset to even see him. I didn't want to give him the negative energy I had."

Hazel shrugged, "You didn't miss anything he looks like… a potato."

Simon gave her a shove and she wondered what was wrong with the truth. "He hasn't developed his looks yet. But he was cute in that it's a new life way."

"I… did not see that," Hazel admitted.

"You saw a potato," Simon repeated.

"Yep."

The christening was closer to the end of Grace's tour. She was going to be seeing her parents, new brother, Simon, and Hazel all again for the first time since she'd been on the road alone. Hazel and Simon went early so that he could help his dad with some things and Hazel would stay with her grandparents while he was doing that. Grace arrived in the morning and headed straight to the church.

They were supposed to wear neutral colors and earth tones, meanwhile, Montanus was styled to be in brilliant white with silver and gems. Grace had flashbacks to seeing photos of her own day. She had been draped in gold and yellow and dressed in something that was probably more expensive than reserving the building. She had been "clothed as the sun," and now nearly 25 years later, they had a boy "clothed as the moon."

Her mother told her that she has her outfit selected. She has to change in a room that brides generally used and Grace was a little thicker than when she had initially been fitted, so she squeezed into it and was far more voluptuous than she wanted to be in a church. Non-believer as she was, it simply seemed distasteful. She loved her halo crown for the event. It was pretty fancy, as she seemed to be reprising her role as the sun.

The officiant said something about the sun giving light to the moon, just as she, as his sister and godmother would give her own form of light to him and other poetic and sweet things about love and support, God and stuff and he blessed the baby and allowed them to put him on display for another photoshoot.

Grace ducked out, because she was STARVING, so of course Simon and Hazel came with, as they hadn’t had a chance to spend time with her in weeks. Old stomping grounds made them feel nostalgic and gave Hazel more fodder for imagining them as kids. She loved those times. Them, her age or a little bit younger or little bit older - she wished she knew them then. She wished for adventures like theirs with HER friends. She would never let it turn out how they were for a while, but she was also glad that they had each other now. The past few weeks with her and Simon had been very challenging, as he was more strict in Grace’s absence than when she was home, but he wasn’t abusing it. He just didn’t have Grace there to override him putting his foot down. Hazel hated THAT, but he didn’t care about certain other things, like she got to hang out with her friends longer, stay out later, and stay up later. Grace was a little more about her keeping a certain structure, which was fine a few years ago, but now it was unnecessary to Hazel and fortunately, Simon didn’t care because it was summer. So long as she was upfront about what she was doing and checked in, he was pretty chill. BUT, if she went outside of the boundaries, he was VERY strict. Almost like he felt betrayed. She hated to make him feel that way. They worked out well, though. At the end of the day, they were always friends again.

Grace noted that they had a few inside jokes and stuff while they were at lunch. People kept looking at the trio, in their fancy dress at this little burger dive. A few people came to see if they could get autographs and stuff. Grace was pretty open to that, even when it was uncomfortable. Simon reflexively wanted to step in, but she would brush it off and give him a look to ask him not to, so he gathered his sense of territory and possessiveness and choked it down. He didn’t have consent to defend…

Then… Something else happened. They were getting ready to get into the car and someone rushed up on them for an autograph. Simon would have been impressed with his quick reflexes if it didn’t go so… terribly infuriating…

He stopped the person in their tracks and they threw their hands up, and said that they just wanted a photo with Grace. Simon let go of the guy’s collar and looked at Grace. Hazel had her hand over her heart. Apparently Simon wasn’t the only one caught off guard by the Flashlike fan. “You okay, Haze?” he asked.

She was breathing hard and staring at the man. Grace stooped down to get on her level. “She’s fine,” the man said. “Could I get a photo?” Grace took a deep breath, ignoring him and repeated her question to Hazel. She wasn’t sure why her baby girl was reacting so intensely. Sure, it could be that this motherfucker came out of nowhere, but also… she could have known him from before, because they were in the same area they used to live, OR she might have had something recently happen that made this spook her today. WHATEVER the case, Grace was concerned and trying to talk to her. “I’ll just get a photo and leave you to it.”

“Chill,” Simon warned. He was getting pissed at this person and also worried about Hazel, because she still hadn’t responded. The guy scoffed and Simon clenched his fist. Realign your patience, Simon. Realign.

“Haze?” Grace repeated. Hazel took a deep breath and nodded.

“Sorry. He scared me. I’m fine.”

“Told you she was fine,” the dude said, really annoyed. Simon bit his lip and was practically digging holes into his palms with the balls that were his fists.

Grace wrapped an arm around Hazel and politely told the man, “I’m not currently taking photos. We just stopped to eat and we have to get back to something.” She was now too upset to take a photo. This was her boundary.

She opened the car door for Hazel and the man said, “Ugh, you were signing stuff inside, I saw you.”

Simon stepped in front of him and reiterated, “Yeah, but she told you no, so I advise you to step away from Grace and her daughter. You’ve already startled her and were extremely insensitive about it. You didn’t even apologize to her.”

“She said she was fine, just like I said.”

“She also is clearly not fine, and you, as a grown man should have been keen to it and respectful of that, especially considering that YOU were the one asking for something!” Simon’s canines were bared and Grace had to admit… she was not against seeing this Simon emerge again… not in this situation, at least.

“That’s not even her real daughter…” CRACK! Hazel called Simon’s name. He didn’t hear her. He had taken that balled up fist that he had been tempering and connected it to that man’s jaw. Grace held Hazel back and said softly, “Maybe cover your eyes, Baby.” Because she wasn’t gonna interfere. Simon looked at the man after he had punched him onto the pavement and some people had gathered. Then, he remembered! He turned towards Grace and Hazel, worried that he had just royally screwed up. Hazel’s face was alight with amusement and Grace’s alight with… something else.

“It just snapped…” He explained.

“It’s okay. We all mess up, right MOM?” Hazel asked, smiling at Simon.

“Yeah, Haze, but he didn’t mess up. Sometimes, people deserve it.” She took Simon’s swinging hand in hers as the ex-fan rushed off crying and complaining about pressing charges. “Let’s get back to my folks so I can tend to this.” She kissed his hand and smiled at him. He smiled back, swelling with pride. Hazel took his other hand and kissed it. These two hand kisses were very separate and different things. But, both mattered to him more than anything in the world.

“I lost my patience, but i don’t feel bad. Nobody’s gonna hurt either of you, as long as I’m there. You ARE Grace’s REAL daughter.”

“I know that, Simon. I’m yours too,” she said with the casual shrug of her shoulders, but he knew that it was a huge thing for Hazel to say such a thing.

Simon got to hold the and he was extremely enchanted. "Grace! He's so beautiful. Oh my God. He looks just like YOU!"

Mrs. Monroe offered, "Or, he looks like ME? Grace got her beautiful genetics from me."

"Yes, Mrs. Monroe. You look like Grace, too," he said, not turning away from the baby in his arms. She frowned and folded her arms. "Grace, if we have a baby, I hope they look just like Monty!"

"His name isn't Monty," Mrs. Monroe said. "It's Montanus. It means mountainous. He's the highest point of my life."

"Wow, Mom. Screw me then, huh?" Grace joked. This kid really WAS precious.

Mrs. Monroe said, "You put me through months of HELL, and quite frankly depression and misery. But… after a very long and painful journey pity of my body, we looked at each other and I felt like seeing your face delivered me from all of the worst of all of that. I'd been given grace, and I told your father after he snuck that hideous photo of me gawking at you that would be your name. We were going to call you Soleil. Like the Sun. But, I met you and I said, No. This is my Grace." Mrs. Monroe cupped Grace's chin and Grace smiled while Simon's eyes watered.

"That's a beautiful story." He nuzzled Grace with his nose and whispered, "I can't wait until we have a beautiful birth story."

"You certainly CAN wait," Mrs. Monroe said and eyed him up and down.

"So, you put Grace in THAT dress and let me look at THIS baby and you think I'm NOT going to think about knocking her up?"

"He's joking. We don't even do that,"Grace said.

"Doesn't mean I'm joking. LOOK at him, Grace. This has got to be the most beautiful baby that has ever lived!"

Grace scoffed, "Um. No. I'm sure that was me as a baby."

"I don't know… I can't imagine any baby ever looking more adorable than this one." He shook his head and looked at him, then pulled him close to hold against himself.

He heard Mrs. Monroe whisper, "I think he thinks he's ready for one." He shut his eyes to listen to the infant breathe. He… hadn't held a baby since he had been helped in holding Hope when he was a little boy. He'd had a similar reaction to her… but he didn't know what she looked like anymore and he didn't even have feelings for her anymore. He remembered her as someone who was lost way too soon, someone that he accidentally hurt, someone who would remind him to always handle the innocent with extra care. "I would kill for you," he whispered and kissed Montanus'" head. For his own. For Hazel. For Grace.

Grace wondered, "Can I hold him?" The way that he was feeling about this baby… He didn’t want to let him go… but then again, Grace was still not wanting kids and Simon rationalized that holding “Monty” was gonna change that for her, so he reluctantly handed him over in the hopes that she might be swayed. “Wow…” She said staring into big brown eyes, like her own but more bright and full of wonder. He reached out for her and she let him hold her finger. “Okay. I absolutely want one,” she joked. Simon smiled. He knew the feeling, even though he also knew that SHE didn’t really mean it. She did have a point, they still hadn’t actually had sex. They had… done a lot. Very gradually over the past year and a half, but not that and she seemed to get anxious whenever things approached it. Simon always stopped and confirmed whether or not she wanted to do more. That out that he gave her, she always took it. It was why he kept checking. He worried that if he didn’t, she might just go along with things, and that could be something else to resent him for down the line. Affirmative consent. It was a small price to pay to keep the amount of trust that HAD been rebuilt intact, and maybe someday it would pay off.

Someday was closer than he’d thought. They eventually surrendered that baby back to his parents and Hazel, not wanting to cry jealousy, but feeling a way retired to her room to meditate and write before bed.

Simon and Grace retired to her room, afterwards. “I am lovesick with baby fever,” Grace said. He was on her like prey, with his hands sliding up her sides and his nose tracing her neck. “Slow down, Gray Eyes,” she said with a chuckle, looking at them in the vanity mirror. How many times had they looked at themselves in that mirror when they were younger? It was never like this… They didn’t even look the same to her. They didn’t feel the same, but somehow, everything was all coming back to her, just being in here, with him.

The good and the bad. Luckily, she would be able to say goodbye early in the morning and not see him for a couple of weeks. Tonight could just be… fun. She tried to push out the old thoughts, the old fights, the old Grace and Simon. They were Simon and Grace before The Apex and they had become another Grace and Simon. New and improved.

“This dress really isn’t helping in the “slow down” department.”

“I’ve gained a little weight,” she said, a little self consciously.

“Mmm hmm,” he said, appraisingly, tracing but not touching the curves of her cleavage. She hadn’t given him permission. Simon was very disciplined, now. Very diligent in not crossing any boundaries, but he certainly danced the fine line.

“Will you please help me out of this dress?” She whispered, not taking her eyes off of the obediently trained blond man in her mirror.

“Yes, ma’am.” He carefully unclasped the back and slowly unzipped, revealing each inch of her skin with utmost reverence and full throttle desire, contained, but entirely visible as she studied his face. She stepped out of the dress and carefully placed it aside. He noted that specifically, because he remembered how she used to just toss them on the floor. He was making more and more notes of how much more thoughtful she was about her things and surroundings. “Grace?”

“Yes, Simon?” she was cleaning off her makeup, still in her undergarments and halo crown.

“I just wanted to thank you for letting me back in. I know that it takes a very big person to be able to do that and I’m grateful that you’re so big of a person and I’m also proud of you. You’ve changed a lot in a lot of ways that I tried to stop before, because I was scared that you’d outgrow me and leave me behind if you came to be this bigger person. I’m glad that I’ve realized that becoming a better you was exactly what type of person who could give me another chance. It makes me want to be a bigger, better person. It makes it easy for me to be good, and I’ve realized that I do it for you, but also for myself. I feel better, and I just want you to know that you’ve done so much towards that.”

She wanted to make a joke about how he must’ve really wanted some tonight to be spilling all of this, but he was so genuine, she was entirely too touched. Between that and his protecting Hazel earlier, not to mention Hazel claiming him?

She set her cloth down, turned around and kissed him. No other response was needed.

The kissing grew, she didn’t break apart while they carefully made their way to the bed and… well… it wasn’t really a discussion or a question. The time had come. Simon opened his mouth to confirm that she was sure and she silenced him with her lips while she took off his clothes.

At every point that he wanted to ask her for permission, she took initiative while simultaneously kissing him to stop the question. If she thought too hard about it, if he asked her about it, she would think too hard about it - If she thought too hard about it, it might never happen.

At some point, she began crying. Simon panicked. He tried to pull out, but she clasped him tightly with her legs and held on to him, sobbing into his ear. Were they happy tears, or had he made a mistake? It was fucking with him. “Grace?” he whispered, slowing down, at least. She urged her hips to make him speed back up and he started crying too. “I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong!” he whimpered, terrified of her tears right now.

“Does… it mean something to you, Simon?” She asked in an insecure voice that he hadn’t heard in so long that he forgot how she sounded when she wasn’t sure of herself.

He lifted his head to look her in the eyes, moving her chin to face him so that she couldn’t avoid it.

“Everything. It means everything to me, Grace. You mean everything to me.”

She sobbed and began to move her hips again, somehow holding on even tighter to him. “Never let me go again. Never push me away.”

“I promise. I won’t. I swear on my life.”

She’d mentioned before that her period was that weekend, but she wasn’t on it. The stress of touring probably knocked her off of her schedule. At any rate, she wasn’t one it, as she had planned to be. That worked out perfectly for Simon that night, but he wasn’t even thinking about those details at the moment. He had to spend the rest of the night making sure that she knew things wouldn’t be like they had been before.

A couple of weeks later when she came home from the tour, Hazel and Simon had her welcome home party under way. It was lowkey - just the 3 of them and the cat. Simon cooked everyone’s faves, and they didn’t ask tour questions. Hazel kept using “Mom” and “Dad,” despite the official paperwork. Grace felt super at ease, considering.

“Hey… We have to talk about something, as a family…” Hazel and Simon looked at each other, both a little worried, as she sounded super serious out of nowhere. Did something happen to her on the tour? Were they about to have to kick somebody’s ass? What was she about to say?? “I have an announcement…” She took a deep breath and took something that she had on her person out.

Simon gasped and got up to rush over. Hazel asked, “What is that?? What’s the announcement??”

Simon took both of Grace’s hands and searched her face, “What do you want to do? You know I’ll support anything. If you aren’t ready, I understand…”

“UNDERSTAND WHAT?? WHAT IS THAT, MOM???”

“I’m ready,” Grace told Simon, then to Hazel, “Mom’s… having a kid…” She winced, unsure of how Hazel was going to feel about a bio on the horizon. She SCREAMED. “OMG! Lindsay and Lucy are gonna be JEALOUS. SO JEALOUS! Lindsay thinks her kinkajou is SOOOO cool… and it is, but I’m gonna have a SIBLING! Oh… unless we’re being quiet?”

“For a while. I’m still… taking it all in…” Grace said. She looked at Simon. She was scared shitless.

“I’m going to do whatever you need.”

“I know. I trust you with my life.” He smiled brighter than anything she had ever seen. She collected Hazel and him, “Both of you.”

#If They Didn't Get on the Train #AU Infinity Train #Infinity Train #Nesha Fanfiction #Infinity Train Fanfiction #fics

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ronninoir · 5 years

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Can I Steal You for a Second? CH2

Summary: Adrien is forced to participate in a new dating show, but becomes more excited when Ladybug says she’ll participate as her civilian self. AKA: AU where Adrien doesn’t know Marinette, the superheroes are 22 and Gabriel is mean and ruthless but not Hawkmoth.

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Chapter 2

As predicted, Tikki wasn’t for it. “Marinette! You can’t leave Paris unattended and just chase after your prince charming! Being Ladybug doesn’t work like that.”

“But Tikki, I have to. I’ve been in love with Chat for 5 years and haven’t said anything! I was too nervous because he flirts with everyone and” a little bit of excitement sped through Marinette as she remembered something to help her argument. “he already knows. How do you expect him to trust me if I break his heart by backing out now?” The grin on Marinette’s face was devilish.

She walked away from Tikki and took a seat on her chaise. Pulling two cookies from a box on the desk, Tikki flew over and handed one to Marinette before she began to munch on the other.

“Just because you two are yin and yang doesn’t mean that you’re meant to be together romantically. Not every Ladybug and Chat Noir pair end up married. You shouldn’t use that as an excuse to do something crazy!” Tikki argued after she had swallowed her first bite.

“That’s the thing though, Tikki! I love him. I’ve loved him for so long and I just want to get his attention in a different way! What if this is the way I’m supposed to complete him? What if this is our fate? By doing this show?” Tikki didn’t look convinced, so Marinette tried a different approach.

“I’m also supposed to protect the black cat superheroes, correct?” Tikki gave a slight sigh and a nod. “How am I supposed to protect him if I let 30 girls throw themselves at him without keeping an eye on them and him. He needs me to be there.”

Marinette finished her cookie as Tikki processed what she had said. After about 30 seconds of Tikki not looking up from her cookie, Marinette continued, “Look, I’ll put in my application. If they reject it, then it wasn’t meant to be and I’ll just keep an eye on Paris while Chat is away. He can’t be mad if the producers were the ones to make me break my promise. But if I’m accepted, then I get to fight for him. I get to be there for my other half. I promise, I’ll find a way to be Ladybug and a contestant. I’ll stay on super high alert for akumas, scope out all of the best transformation shots, and even see if I can get one night off a week to do patrol. Ladybug won’t fall to the sidelines.” Marinette paused, making direct eye contact with her kwami so she’d know how serious she was. “Deal?”

Reluctantly, Tikki looked up into Marinette’s eyes. “You’re not going to let this go until I agree, aren’t you?” Tikki responded with a sigh, “Fine, we have a deal.”

Marinette couldn’t wait to begin.

---------------------------------------------------

The next day, Marinette had already enlisted the help of her best friend Alya for her mission. Alya didn’t know the real reason she was interested in auditioning for the dating show, as that would involve revealing both her and Adrien’s identities, but Alya did know about her huge obsession with Gabriel Fashions, and by extension, Adrien, and so she was fully supportive of Marinette following her odd dreams by participating in the show.

“Girl, I cannot believe you’re doing this!” Alya squealed as she dug around in Marinette’s closet.

“Yeah me neither,” Tikki muttered in Marinette’s purse. She was loud enough that Marinette heard the sly comment, but Alya, who was too distracted editing the video anyway, could not.

Becoming a contestant on a reality TV show was a lot more than Marinette had expected. She had to fill out a 6-page questionnaire, answering questions such as, “What is your current annual salary?” “Do you drink alcoholic beverages?” and “Why would you want to find your spouse on our TV show?” It was oddly a lot of work and some of the questions really made Marinette think.

After the paper application was done, she needed to record a video of herself answering a series of questions and then pick anywhere from 5-15 pictures of herself. Then she would pack them all up and mail them to the studio.

Alya had been called as soon as the paper application was done. She helped Marinette pick out the perfect photos (there were 8 of them, all of them showed off Marinette in a very good light and also showed her being a good person) and directed the video.

As it turns out, the hardest part of the video was finding the perfect outfit. After 10 minutes of digging, Alya found the perfect dress, one that Marinette had designed, that made her look beautiful and professional without too much stiff-ness. Once the lighting was adjusted and everything was perfect, Alya began asking her questions.

These questions were similar to the ones on the paper application, which helped because she already had her answers ready to go. She started off with a summary of herself, then moved on to her dating history (none, except for Juleka’s brother, but that was one date), then with her ultimate fantasy date (traveling to see the different fashion shows around the world), what her family was like, her traveling dreams, what she would do on a date in her hometown (obviously stroll around the Eiffel tower and all the sights, as well as baking with her parents), some of her special talents (thankfully she had some finished designs lying around and it gave her an excuse to talk about her dress), and finished up the video with a tour of her house. That part was fun because she got to show off her room and the bakery, where her parents were hard at work.

Once the whole thing was done, Alya began editing on her computer. Marinette began cleaning up her closet and was only half listening to Alya’s comments, most of which were very sarcastic.

“I should make a blooper reel to add to the end of the interview, this stuff is comedy gold!” Alya called to her with a laugh. Marinette pinked remembering how many times she had to do some of the questions before she got it sounding okay.

“Honestly, Alya, they want to see my personality. As long as it’s not too embarrassing, I won’t say anything.” Alya’s squeal of delight made Marinette roll her eyes.

“When you make it, you’re going to have to keep me updated on what it’s like to date none other than Adrien Agreste!” At that comment, Marinette couldn’t help but giggle.

“You sound really cocky for someone who was just joking about my blooper reel!”

“Confident, not cocky, sweetheart!” Marinette smiled, despite herself. Alya’s confidence and excitement was contagious. She was also hoping her Ladybug luck would carry her most of the way through this process, even if Tikki didn’t think that was fair.

“Anyway, Alya, you know they take the contestants phones from them once they arrive! No cell phones, no social media, no communication with the outside world. I even heard that there is no internet.”

“Ugh, I couldn’t survive without internet! That’s why I didn’t audition! I couldn’t imagine being in a situation like that and NOT blogging the whole thing!”

“But what about Nino?” Marinette asked with a raised eyebrow. Alya had been dating Nino, Marinette’s other best friend, since she moved to Paris in high school. The thought that Alya would ditch Nino to go on a dating show seems kind of extreme.

“Nino would get over it. He knows I love him and would only go on the show to promote my blog. Can you imagine how many more followers I would have if I could promote the Ladyblog on National Television! It would be amazing!” Another squeal from Alya although Marinette didn’t smile.

“But, Alya, girls aren’t supposed to go on the show to promote their own things. They do it to find love. You can’t go on the show for the wrong reasons!” The rising anger in Marinette’s voice became very obvious, as well as very uncalled for, and it startled Alya a little. The thought of Alya, or anyone for that matter, using her kitty to promote themselves made Marinette fume with fury and she couldn’t stand the thought of him being used like that.

Thankfully, a smile broke across Alya’s face, “Relax girl, that’s why I didn’t audition! I couldn’t imagine using a person like that!” Alya then turned to Marinette with a smirk on her face, “Plus I knew that Nino wouldn’t know what to do without me while I was gone!” Alya began to laugh, and not long after, Marinette joined in, although her laugh was a little forced. She still couldn’t get over the fact that some of the girls could be there for the wrong reasons. At least Marinette will be there to help steer Adrien in the right direction. AKA: her.

--------------------------------------------------

About a week later, one of the producers of the show was sitting in a dark office, stifling a yawn. The office was small and boring, only holding a cramped desk, a computer, a chair, and an over-flowing pile of packages. He had been the unlucky one assigned to sorting through all of the potential contestants. The deadline for applications was yesterday and they had to wait for the mail to come in today before he was to start going through it all.

He swiveled in his chair bitterly. Come and work on this new reality show, they said, it’ll be fun, they said. He rolled his eyes and began grabbing packages and ripping them open. He began downloading all of the videos onto the computer and labeling them with the girl’s name. After that was all done, he began flipping through the applications while watching, or rather ignoring, the same girl’s video, which he played on the computer.

The hardest part of the job was finding 30 girls who fit both Adrien’s list of things he’s looking for in a girl, as well as Gabriel’s things. And when it came to it, all of the girls HAD to be Gabriel-approved, or it was going to be his head.

Truthfully, he felt like a creeper looking through all of these pictures of the potential contestants. All of them included at least one swimsuit pick and they were all between the age of 21 and 25. That was all good for Adrien, but for him, a married guy... not so much.

After a few more hours of work, he was going bleary-eyed and was ready to go home and give his wife a big hug and not tell her about this. The last video/application he looked at caught his eye. It was this pretty, petite girl with blue-black hair and a very nice smile. He thought he recognized her, but that couldn’t be possible. He checked her application again and noticed she was from Paris too. Her last name, Dupain-Cheng rang a bell as well.

As he continued watching her video, during the house-tour, she showed the camera into a bakery. Yes! That was it! She was the daughter of the owners of the Dupain-Cheng bakery! Man, they made the best pastries. He had even considered stopping by on his way home tonight, to get his wife something sweet.

Well, that settles it. She just has to be on the show. Completely ignoring the two requirement lists he had been religiously using, he moved her application into the “Casting Interview” pile, shut off his computer and headed out for the night. The Dupain-Cheng bakery wasn’t too far out of his way, and if he hurried, he could make it home right as dinner hit the table.

----------------------------------------------------

Weeks went by and Marinette had almost forgotten about the show and her application. Everything was normal: working in the bakery with her parents, going to classes and completing projects for University, and even her patrols with Chat were normal. He hadn’t brought up the topic of the show, except to confirm that she had applied. Life was normal.

That is, until she received a phone call from a producer saying that they would like for her to come in for an interview, a photoshoot, and some medical testing. She was thrilled, called Alya right away, and was able to clear the weekend in her calendar. The next night, on patrol, she told Chat just because she couldn’t contain her excitement.

“They said that just because I was called doesn’t mean I’m guaranteed a spot, but that I’ve made it to the top 50!” She let out a small squeal as Chat wrapped her in a hug and spun her around.

“Oh, Bug, this is wonderful! You are going to have a great time! They told me that this is the easy part! In fact, since most of you are going to be on the show with me, I’m not allowed to even leave my house during that weekend, for fear that I’ll see one of you.” Chat let out a short laugh at that, “Not that I’m normally allowed to leave the house, but now I’ll be under a heavier lock and key.”

“Don’t worry, kitty, after the whole weekend is done, I’ll come and get you and we can run around the city so you don’t feel too trapped.” She leaned forward and flicked his bell, giving him a seductive smile.

Chat gulped a little before responding with a choked, “Sounds good.” Ladybug couldn’t help but laugh. It was easy to make him flustered when she directly flirted with him, and it would provide better ammo once she was on the show. How he was going to survive 29 other girls flirting with him though, she had no idea.

Before Marinette knew it, the weekend of her interview came. She was pushed into a hotel room with 9 other girls and was forced to interact and bond with them. They started out with the interviews, where the girls were escorted one-by-one into another hotel room and interviewed by 3 of the producers. They asked simple questions and Marinette felt really good about it.

Then, once all 50 girls were done, they were served dinner and sent to bed. Early Saturday morning, they were escorted to the nearest hospital, where they would be getting some medical tests done. They did it in groups and rotated through. Some went to get a physical, some went to get the psych exam, some went to a drug test, some went to get fitted (the producers thought it would be easier this way and therefore could have the seamstresses working on clothes for the girls who get cast) and some went to get tested for STDs (what they thought Marinette would be doing on this show, she had no idea).

Then came the part that Marinette had been most nervous for, the photoshoot. She was never super comfortable in front of the camera, as she was usually the designer behind it. Thankfully, they were photographing them as a group first, then breaking them up for their solo shots. Marinette’s group was in the middle, and it allowed plenty of time to watch and get tips from other girls. One of the girls in Marinette’s group named Sasha was a model and she was more than willing to give everyone some helpful tips.

Once it was all over, the girls were forced to go to a pool party at the hotel and mingle. Marinette met lots of really nice girls there, and even had a little fun. She almost forgot what they were doing all of this for. She did notice that some of the girls didn’t get-along with everyone and one particular girl named Lila, seemed to be collecting a cult-following of other potential contestants.

Marinette wasn’t impressed with Lila and elected to steer clear of her while she could. She reminded her too much of her high school bully Chloe Bourgeois, and she’d rather not go down that road.

Finally, it was time for bed and almost time for her to go home. She enjoyed being with some of these girls, but she couldn’t wait to sleep in her own bed, as well as see Chat Noir tonight. The superheroes had been a popular topic among the potential contestants. Some had never been to Paris before and were hoping to see a glimpse of the super-heroes. Even though Marinette knew that wouldn’t be happening, she couldn’t help but enjoy the excitement that her presence could potential cause.

Sunday morning came with breakfast and a meeting. Something super formal that told the girls that they would be receiving a phone call from a producer whether they are cast or not. They were also reminded to not tell anyone about the beginning of the journey, as it would spoil the fun for some of the viewers. Although Marinette knew Alya wouldn’t let her get away without ALL of the details, she agreed to their rules anyway.

Before she knew it, she was back in her room, hugging her parents and waiting for the sun to set so she could meet up with Chat. She passed the time by helping in the bakery and as soon as dinner was eaten and cleaned up, she excused herself for the night and ran upstairs.

She had barely come close to the Agreste Mansion when she saw someone standing at the window staring at her. Adrien was waiting for her. The thought made her heart soar, and his facial expression when he spotted her helped a ton. He quickly transformed and jumped out to meet her.

“How was your weekend, milady?” He asked as they ran towards the Eiffel Tower.

“Oh, it was so much fun,” the sarcasm was clearly heard and it made Chat laugh. “There was so much testing done and so many questions, and so. many. girls.” Ladybug let out a groan as they both touched down at the bottom of the tower. “Race you to the top and I’ll tell you what I can.”

“You’re on.”

Once at the top (Ladybug won by one second), Ladybug told him everything that had happened, only leaving out the STD test (he was going to be super awkward about that and she didn’t want to be the one to tell him) and any specific girls she had met. She didn’t want to spoil his thoughts on any of the girls just yet. Although she did mention one girl, if not by name.

“She was just horrible, Chat. I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it, but the other girls were flocking to her like she was their queen. It just didn’t sit right with me.”

“Hopefully she won’t make it past this level. If she does though, I’ll be able to spot her and eliminate her night one.” Chat said confidently while Ladybug played with his hair.

“We are just going to have to wait and see though.”

“Speaking of spotting people...” Chat trailed off and Ladybug looked around, wondering who he could have seen from this high up. “Are you going to reveal your identity once you’re officially cast or should you just get it over with now?”

Ladybug’s hands froze in his hair. She had been waiting for him to ask this, so thankfully, she had discussed and rehearsed this moment with Tikki.

“Neither,” she replied as nonchalant as she could.

Chat sat up fast and turned to look her in the eye. “What?”

“I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think it would be fair to the other girls if you already knew who I was. How are you going to convince the cameras, as well as all of France, that you are seriously looking for a wife out of these 30 girls if you already know one of them super well? It would show favoritism and I can’t support that.” The dumbfounded look on his face made her smile.

“B-but, I need to know! You have to tell me! It’s only fair!” She rolled her eyes at his whine. He could be such a baby sometimes.

“Yes, it is fair for the other contestants. Plus, it’ll be more fun if you can pick me out of a crowd. It’ll make the game on your end more exciting.” He groaned and laid back down to where she could continue scratching his head.

“I hate when you’re right,” was all he said.

----------------------------------------------------

A couple more weeks came by and Marinette was starting to get nervous. Because of Chat, she knew that they started filming in 3 weeks, and yet she still hadn’t received a phone call. Thankfully, Alya understood her stress and swore to not call her until she found out.

“Maybe they are just running behind?” She suggested helpfully as she spun in Marinette’s desk chair. “Maybe they want you freaking out so you’ll act more desperate on the show.”

Marinette let out a strained laugh and then fell silent as she stared intently at her phone.

“Have you ever heard the saying, ‘A watched phone never rings?’” Alya asked, stopping her spinning to eye Marinette in her desperate position.

“That’s not a real saying,” She replied without looking away from her phone.

“Even so, it’s true,”

The days went by so slowly, Marinette was sure an akuma was responsible. By the time Friday rolled around, Marinette felt as though she’s lived through a whole month. Tikki tried to talk some sense into her, but Marinette wouldn’t hear it.

She ended up working the whole day in the bakery, which helped take her mind off of things. When she took her lunch break, she quickly escaped upstairs to the apartment before her Maman could ask her to do something else. She quickly made her lunch and began eating.

“Could I have that strawberry?” Tikki was sitting by her plate, staring hungrily at the very sweet-looking strawberry.

“Sure, Tikki,” Marinette responded with a smile. How lucky she got to have a kwami with a sweet tooth. She didn’t know what she would do if she had been stuck with someone like Plagg, who’s constant need for cheese, and expensive cheese at that, was hard to maintain.

She heard a ringing and a vibrating from the counter that jerked her out of her thoughts. When she looked at her phone, it was an unknown number. Marinette’s heart sped up as she reached to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is Pierre from the TV studio. I’m calling to talk to Marinette Dupain-Cheng?”

“This is she.” She had to take a sip of water because her mouth had suddenly gone dry.

“Hi, Marinette. I just wanted to call and let you know that you’ve been cast on this season of The Bachelor! I am currently sending you an email with your packing list, everything you need to know pre-filming, as well as when the car will be at your house to pick you up. If you have any questions, feel free to email us. Congratulations and we will be seeing you in two weeks!”

Marinette was staring at her plate with her mouth gaping. Tikki gave her a quick nudge and she started, suddenly realizing that she needed to say something to the man.

“Thank you so much! I’ll see you in two weeks!” She quickly hung up so as to not say anything stupid.

“Congratulations, Marinette! You’re going to have your work cut out for you, but I know you’ll be able to pull it off!”

Marinette couldn’t believe it. She’d made it. She’d be able to go on a proper date with Adrien and possibly get him to fall in love with her! She didn’t realize she was screaming until her mom ran up the stairs, a worried look on her face.

“Marinette, what’s wrong?”

“Maman! I made it! I got cast on the show!”

Sabine engulfed her in a hug and dragged her downstairs to tell her Papa. He was so excited, he told the whole storefront, which resulted in spattered applause and a very red-faced Marinette. Numbly, she moved back upstairs to finish her lunch.

“What an exciting day, Marinette!” Tikki said, resuming her work on her strawberry.

“And it’s only lunch! Wait until I tell Alya!” A wonderful thought then crossed her mind and a slightly manic grin spread across her face. “Oh man, wait until I tell Chat!”

Let me know if you wanna be tagged for updates!

@legendaryneckjudgestudent

@discoveringmiraculouswriters

#can i steal you for a second #ml fanfic #ml fic #MLB #miraculous ladybug #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #ml ladybug #ml ladynoir #alya cesaire #ml bachlelor au #ml au #the bachelor #bachelor! Adrien #ml chat noir #chat noir

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yoon-kooks · 5 years

Text

Witch Hazel- Pt.4

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: FanficWriter!Jungkook, Idol!Reader, College!AU, Angst, Fluff

Summary: There are two students in your art class with a secret: you and the quiet Jeon Jungkook. You’re a problematic idol singer, infamous for your ice cold reputation and perpetual resting bitch face; he’s the artist and author behind the viral comic series based on a certain ice queen idol. After a blowup of destructive rumors, lost motivation and inevitable solitude, you stumble upon Jungkook’s comic and find a new and unexpected light.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: none

Parts: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // ?

A/N: my hope is that the idol industry can one day become a safer place for those who have dedicated their lives to making others happy ❤️

“Let me guess, you’re the type who needs to feel needed but also pushes people away?”

“How would you know that, Bunny Boy?”

“It’s my power.”

“You have powers too?” Snow blinks her pretty blue eyes. “Can you read minds?”

“I certainly can’t read minds,” Bunny Boy laughs. “But I am pretty good at reading hearts.”

“Oh yeah? What’s my heart feeling right now?”

“Well for starters, you seem to be annoyed by me prying too deep.”

“You are annoying.”

“And you also think I’m kinda cute.”

“I do not!”

You giggle into your phone screen for the hundredth time as you read through the latest Witch Hazel update. With the reveal of another character with secret powers, you wonder what Snow will make out of him. A friend? An ally? Or perhaps just someone who gets her.

Beneath the last comic panel of Snow rolling her eyes at the unofficially named Bunny Boy, you find cute little comments from the author.

“all i hope is for snow to take care of herself during this hiatus”

“even if it’s only a tiny amount, maybe witch hazel can help supplement as new snow content for now;;;;;;”

“ah i didnt mean to sound as if i were anywhere near snow’s level or anything;;;;;;”

“i just hope she knows she doesnt have to carry any burden all on her own”

“she has people on her side”

Your face doesn’t know whether to smile or shed tears, so you do a combination of both. It’s true, you’ve always felt alone. Always. No matter how many staff members it takes to produce an album or how many fans buy that album, you’ve never once felt that people could look beyond your idol music, your icy eyes, your mask.

But that’s exactly why you’re taking a break. You need to separate your worth from the music attached to your name. You need to prove to yourself that you’re more than what the critics and magazines say. And you’re only realizing it now that you can’t do it alone.

If only you had your own jk.seagull in your life. You’re sure the two of you would mesh well together.

“Where is that kid?” Taehyung pats the empty seat next to him before class starts. “He never skips class. I remember one time he literally rejected a date with a super cute girl because he ‘had to get to class’. Can you believe that?”

“Knowing Jungkook, I’d believe it,” you shrug. It does feel oddly empty without his presence, though.

“Oh really? You know all there is to know about the mysterious phenomenon that is Jeon Jungkook? It sounds like you guys got real acquainted on that date the other day.”

“It wasn’t a date, Taehyung. It was a meeting for a group project that you didn’t show up to.”

“Well it all evens out since Jungkook didn't show up today. Who knows, maybe you won’t show up tomorrow.”

“I’m sure he has a good reason for being absent. Unlike you.” You have to admit, it does worry you a little. Especially after the hints of doubt Jungkook expressed about his own beautiful art. You wish he knew how amazing of an artist he really is.

“What are you talking about? My reason was valid.”

“Having your cock sucked for five hours straight is not a valid reason, by the way.” You roll your eyes. “Let me guess, today you have a threesome scheduled after class and dinner date at 5?”

“Ouch, you don’t have to be so harsh, Y/N.” Taehyung pretends to be offended, but he doesn’t deny your comment either. “You’re really his type, you know.”

“I’m whose type?”

“Jungkook’s.”

“Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”

“I’ve said this before, but you’re a lot like Snow.”

“How?”

“In how you present yourself,” Taehyung says. “You and her both come across as cold and heartless, but somehow I don’t buy it.” He doesn’t buy what? That you’re just as much of a bitch on the inside too? Ha.

“Jungkook must have weird taste then,” you shrug. Because in your opinion, you’re not exactly an easy person to love.

“But-” Taehyung is cut off by the professor starting class. You don’t know what more he could’ve said to make you change your mind anyway.

“There won’t be any lecture for today’s class.” Your professor is busy typing away at her computer, perhaps trying to get caught up on paperwork and grading old assignments. “Instead, I want you all to take this time to work on your group projects. You may leave the classroom if you must, but remember to stay on task!”

With that, your classmates jam out of the room as if they were just freed from prison. You hear a couple of friends deciding which boba place to try out. Another group, the overachievers of the class, head somewhere outside to actually work on the project. Taehyung, too, looks as if there’s somewhere else he needs to be.

“So I-”

“Go ahead and get laid,” you sigh, shooing the boy away with your hand. “We’ll work next time when all three of us are here.”

“Thanks, Y/N! You get me,” Taehyung waves bye before dashing off.

You wave back as the hall clears out around you. It seems everyone else has found somewhere to go. Everyone except you.

But it’s fine. You’re fine.

Buzz! You jump at the sudden phone notification that seems to echo off the walls of the empty hall. Oh look, it’s a text from your only friend.

10:32AM jinnie❤️ “good morning ^O^// just checking in on you”

10:33AM jinnie❤️ “how are you holding up with everything?”

“I’m fine!” you mumble rather aggressively to yourself, sliding your ass down onto the filthy hallway floor before texting back. Your chunky guitar case sits in your lap like a baby so it doesn’t get dirty.

10:34AM Y/N “i miss seeing you at work everyday :((((”

10:34AM Y/N “lololololol jk”

10:35AM Y/N “fuck work, am i right”

10:36AM jinnie❤️ “Y/N”

10:37AM Y/N “😒”

10:37AM Y/N “im fine”

10:38AM jinnie❤️ “thats exactly what people say when theyre not fine”

But you are fine. You’re completely fine with sitting all alone in an empty hallway, texting your only friend who also happens to be your manager.

10:39AM jinnie❤️ “what are you doing now?”

You pick up your guitar and start walking away. Obviously, you can’t tell him what you were actually doing because it would worry him too much. But you can’t lie to him either.

10:41AM Y/N “if you really must know”

You wait until you arrive at your new location before answering Seokjin’s million-dollar question. You’ve found your place.

10:45AM Y/N “im practicing in the music room before my theory class starts”

He sends you the Surprised Pikachu meme but also a few supportive comments.

10:46AM jinnie❤️ “good luck!”

10:46AM jinnie❤️ “and if you ever need something, please reach out to me!”

10:47AM jinnie❤️ “ill be checking in on you every now and then, but please enjoy your time off~”

10:48AM Y/N “thank you seokjin”

With your manager off your back, you settle into the empty music classroom and pull your trusty guitar out of its case. The flat and out of tune strings remind you of how long it’s been since the last time you touched the guitar. Because despite carrying it around wherever you go, it’s all for show.

In all honesty, you’re too afraid to let others hear, and yet, part of you wants them to know. You want them to know you’re an artist in your own right—without the judgment. But that’s asking for too much from this cruel world. Especially when you know you aren’t there yet.

One by one, you turn the pegs on your guitar, fine tuning each string by ear. That’s always been your secret talent, and maybe that’s how you’ve never been off-key since the moment you said your first words. If there was one thing you had going for you as an idol, it was that.

Once all the strings are tuned, you just sit there, staring at your fingers curved naturally in the C chord position. The muscle memory is still very much ingrained in you, but so are the scars. The last time you actually held your guitar, you were told you weren’t good enough. So you ended up settling for something else.

Today, however, you want to change that. You shouldn’t let several people’s opinions determine what you can or can’t amount to just because they were the professionals of the industry who supposedly “knew” what they were doing. They didn’t know you then, and they certainly don’t know you now. They don’t even know your real name.

But that’s okay. Having a secret identity makes you feel as though you can someday become a true superhero, someone who makes the world a better place from behind the scenes. In that sense, you want to be someone like your current favorite person on the internet, jk.seagull. You don’t know him, nor do you know his real name.

All you know is that his craft makes you happy.

With the funny fanfic boy in mind, you glance up to make sure the coast is clear before taking your first strum. Despite the dullness of your old worn-out strings, what your ears hear is crisp and bright.

You aren’t sure how much time has passed since you began singing along to a melody only you know, but you’re suddenly pulled back into reality with a single mention of her from outside the classroom.

“What do you think about the Snow news?”

“It’s honestly sad.”

“With how little she contributes to her music, I really don’t think she deserves a break.”

“She should just keep going. How hard is it to sing a few songs? I hope she knows she’s letting a lot of people down just so she could relax.”

“Or better yet, she should just retire early.”

You set down your guitar on the piano bench. You’ve heard quite enough and you’re ready to slam the door on the noisy group passing by. But by the time you peek your head out from the crack, the group is already at the other end of the hall. You do, however, find a surprise sitting right outside the music room.

The boy who was supposedly too sick to come to class is too busy sketching away to notice you staring at him.

“How long have you been sitting out here?”

The tiny hairs on the back of the boy’s neck stand up as his drawing hand freezes at the sound of your voice. He turns around, looking up at you as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing.

“Since I started sketching.” Jungkook shows you a simple yet pretty drawing of a flowery spring field. By his art standards, it couldn’t have taken him long to draw that one page.

But it isn’t until you start flipping through the rest of the pages in the sketchbook that you realize he’d been sitting there for quite a while. Each page is similar to the last with only slight differences in between. When you fly through the pages like a flipbook, you see the whole picture.

From the first sketch of spring flowers, snow slowly covers the field until only a single flower remains in a winter wonderland. If you go in reverse, you can watch as the snow melts away until that one flower disappears amongst its brethren.

“What kind of flower is that?” You point to the one that somehow managed to blossom through the thickness of the snow. Maybe if it were colored in, you’d have a better idea.

“A strong one?” Jungkook shrugs as if he’s not the artist who knows the the answer. You hate yourself for cackling along at his lousy joke. He closes his sketchbook as a way to change the subject. “Why aren’t you in class?”

“Funny you should ask. The professor dismissed our class to work on the group projects. And then Tae ditched to go do his usual skirt-chasing shenanigans because somebody in our group didn’t show up.”

“Sorry,” the boy bites his lower lip with a hint of regret. “I didn’t really feel well enough to sit in class today.”

“Then why didn’t you just stay at home?”

“I still had this project to turn in and finish for my other class.” He raises his sketchbook. “And besides, music is the best medicine.”

You feel your cheeks burning up. The last person you expected to catch you messing around with your guitar in the music department was the art student who was supposed to be out sick. “How much did you hear…?”

“All I heard was one song…” He assures you for a slight second before going in for the kill, “…that you kept replaying over and over and over-”

“I get it. You heard a lot,” you hiss. “You better not tell anyone! Not even Tae.”

“I won’t,” he promises, chuckling at your distress. It seems the kid’s gotten comfortable enough around you to start clowning you. “It’s a nice song, by the way.”

“Really?” You want to believe him, but you have a hard time doing so. When all you’ve heard was brutal criticism for the past few years, it’s difficult to accept any compliment without feeling like there’s ill intent behind it. It feels wrong to feel good about yourself.

Besides, maybe he’s just complimenting you out of obligation. Like he’s trying to be nice, even if he doesn’t actually feel that way about your song.

“I’ll burden the pain so you don’t have to,” he says.

“What?”

“That’s a line from the lyrics, right?”

You nod.

“It’s a very Y/N thing to say.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jungkook shrugs and swirls his Sailor Venus keychain around his index finger. “Just take it as a compliment, Y/N.”

If not for his soft teasing smile, your mind would still be filled with doubt. Instead, you accept the compliment and gain a tiny bit of confidence back.

“Come in for a second,” you start walking back inside the music room. “And close the door behind you.”

Jungkook does as he’s told, his eyes glued to your guitar as you pick it up off the piano bench. There, you do something you’ve never practiced but had always hoped to perform as Snow—your own acoustic version of one of your songs.

It doesn’t matter that you’ve never practiced or touched your guitar in years. You know the key, the chords, the strum pattern. And you know how to make it your own. Not Snow’s or anyone else’s.

When you’re done with your mini acoustic performance, the boy can’t help but chuckle. He’s about to clown you again. You can feel it.

“What??”

“It’s nothing.”

“Jungkook.”

“It’s seems like you don’t hate Snow as much as you lead on.”

“I was only trying to show how I would’ve done the song if I were her.”

“Ah, so you criticize Snow so much because you think you can do better?”

“Not necessarily better… just differently.” You hope that answer is enough to satisfy the boy. But it’s not. He only nods with an awfully suspicious smirk. “What now??”

“It’s cool that you want to be a songwriter.”

“I never said that I did,” you say with a slight pout and hmph. You’ve never once mentioned your true dreams to anyone besides maybe some random kid at camp when you were ten. You’d hate to announce your bold aspirations with the utmost confidence, only to flop and fail before achieving anything. You’d rather keep it a secret until you perhaps “pop-off” as the kids say.

“Sure.” He doesn’t believe you.

“Are you always this sassy when you’re sick?”

His long locks flow as he shakes his head. “I’m feeling better now, actually. Thanks to your medicine.”

Maybe the kid was faking his sickness all along. Then again, Taehyung did say Jungkook wasn’t the type to skip class under most circumstances. Perhaps there was something else that was bothering him.

“Wait, you weren’t upset about Snow’s hiatus, right?” You remember the gossip from the noisy group that had passed by earlier. The beating you took from their words still stings.

“To be honest, I was worried about her at first with everything that went on,” Jungkook says. “But I think she probably just needed some time away from all that.”

“Probably,” is all you say, doing your best to downplay the amount of relief his words gave you. He isn’t upset or let down; he just wishes the best for your well-being. And as an idol, that’s all you’ve ever asked for. “You know, you’re the nicest Snow fan I’ve ever met.”

“You know a lot of other Snow fans?” Jungkook tilts his head at your odd statement. Oh right. You’ve only really met other fans as Snow, not as Y/N. Now you sound suspicious.

“Oh yeah, for sure. My friend, Seokjin, reads Snow smut all the time,” you force out a laugh while making a mental apology to your manager. Then you decide it’s best to change the subject before you blow your cover. “Speaking of fanfiction, I need your opinion on Witch Hazel!”

“What about it?”

“The new bunny character.” You whip out your phone for direct reference of the comic. “He’s funny, right?”

“He’s good at teasing Snow,” Jungkook looks at your phone screen of the bunny saying that Snow thinks he’s cute. “I wonder if he’ll make her fall for him.”

“I want him to.” Your eyes light up without knowing. To have Snow fall in love is wishful thinking, but a large part of you craves romance deep down—even if it’s only for the fictional version of yourself. “But at the same time, he’s not Snow’s type.”

“What’s Snow’s type?”

“Huh?” You somehow managed to fuck up again, so you shrink yourself and hope to disappear. “I don’t know… Why would I know what Snow’s type is…? It’s probably not a playboy like the bunny, but I wouldn’t know that…!”

“So you think she’d like someone more… considerate?”

You nod. “Probably just someone who takes the time to get to know her.”

“I guess we’ll see in the upcoming chapters.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” You can’t quite hold back a smile. After all, your day always feels a lot better when it involves your favorite little comic.

Jungkook must’ve noticed your face because he makes a comment. “I am curious, though, as to why you like Witch Hazel so much when you clearly don’t care for Snow herself.”

“For me, it has nothing to do with Snow.” To mask your smile, you make a cute duck face instead. “Reading it just… makes me happy.” As much as you’d hate to admit it, it’s been a long time since anything has given you good vibes the way that one comic does.

“That’s good,” the boy says, gathering his things to head to his next class. “It’s the same for me with Snow’s music… in case you were wondering.” And with that, he leaves you with something to think about.

If Snow’s music is Jungkook’s medicine, Witch Hazel is yours.

By the time you get home from school, you’re still smiling like an idiot after what Jungkook had said. Snow’s music makes him happy, and the mere thought of that makes you happy. It’s in (very rare) times like this that you remember why you chose to become an idol in the first place. It’s why you endure the pain.

With your mind clouded in an unfamiliar wave of emotion, you pull out your phone and tap on Jungkook’s contact information. After changing his contact name to something cuter, you start composing a casual message just to say hi.

Jungkook. What if I told you a secret?

Delete. You’ve never deleted a message so quick. You don’t even know which secret you would’ve told the boy. That you’re his crush, Snow? Or that he’s yours? Not that you have a huge crush on him… You swear it’s just a tiny one!

Regardless, you shouldn’t be sharing any of your deepest secrets with him—at least not for now. It’s not that you don’t trust him. It’s just that it’s a tricky situation to be in.

Your eyes move from your guitar, to the stacks of handwritten sheet music beside it, to the album that won you your first award—where the pain all began. Even the most supportive fan could not imagine what you’ve given up to be the idol that you are, to be someone with a name.

The only thing you can do now is take it all back. And only then will you let Jungkook in. But until that time comes, you don’t belong to him or anyone else.

4:44PM Snow “Are you free to talk?”

4:46PM Jimin “Yeah”

#bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts angst #jungkook fanfic #btsboulangerie #bts fluff #bts imagines #jungkook x reader #bts college au #bts idol au #jungkook #bts #bangtan #witch hazel

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zerotosiki · 5 years

Text

Bonus Stories of a Little Too Much Part 2

[MAIN] || [BONUS 1] || [BONUS 2] You’re here

Description: A lot of drama involving Lila and Marinette being lovey-dovey with Damian, as usual. The class wants a redemption but Marinette still feeling salty with them. Marinette finally can tease her boyfriend back. Lila still hoping for Hawkmoth, while the said person is stuck at the party.

Word Count: Roughly around 5290 words? Wow.

AN: It’s been a long time since I posted the bonus part one, right? Ehe, I’m just happy I can finish this even when I still drowned in my college assignments orz. Anyway, I’ve prepared a lot of salt and sugar in one packed for this one! Isn’t that great?

Maribat inspired by @ozmav and the songfic “A Little Too Much” inspired by @officiallyathiana.

Bonus Story 4. “Lila! What’s the meaning of this?!”

“Hey! Don’t ignore us!” Alya shout, breaking the lovey-dovey scene and upsetting Damian’s mood, again.

Marinette just sighing and release the hug, much to Damian’s disappointment, “What again, Alya? Isn’t this enough for you? I already answer all of your questions.”

“But… You never told me that you already have a boyfriend!” Alya exclaimed, pointing accusingly at Marinette.

Although Marinette isn’t impressed with her response, at all. She just crossing her hands while questioning a simple question, “And why would I?”.

“What?..” Alya is flabbergasted with Marinette’s question, she faltered for a second, “Because we…”

“Yeah?”

“…Aren’t we friends..?” finally, she asked this, although Marinette can see Alya is very hesitant when she questions this.

Oh well, She doesn’t care anymore.

“Yeah, I thought about that too. But after you guys started bullying me, I throw that title away, far from my mind.”

Alya looks stunned before her face turns rage like she’s been ridiculed by Marinette’s words, “Bullying you..? We never do that! The one who’s bully here is you, Marinette!” pointing at Marinette, “You always bully Lila when we clearly told you that Lila is just trying to befriend you! And guess what you did after that?” she throws her hand up in the air, feeling frustrated, “You just throw away her kindness and start bullying her, just because you’re jealous of seeing Lila get close with your crush!”

Oh kwami, Did Marinette seriously heard that? She knows her classmates have been blinded by Lila’s lies, but she didn’t really think that their blind will turn them into this stupid brainless person! She sneers at Alya, “…Her kindness? Which part do you think Lila is being kind to me?! How can you never saw her looks sends to me?! Oh I know, it’s probably because–” her voice becomes louder and louder until Damian holds her hand to remind her.

“Habibti..” comes his soothing voice which makes Marinette relax while she stared at his deep concern eyes, she then sighs, releasing all of the tenses muscle that she even doesn’t realize.

“Dami… Right… I’m… sorry, I lost myself for a second there…”

Damian pulls her in and gently rubbing both her hands in circle, “No, don’t be. You have every second’s right to be mad at them. Hell, I’ve been trying to hold back my anger and if your so-called-friend says for one more time, I’m afraid…”, and then he smirks, the same smirk she loved, “we have to bury another one, Habibti.”

Marinette just slaps his arm and murmured, “Oh shuush, we don’t kill, Dami!”. She tried to be serious but her smile and her mischievous eyes said the otherwise.

“But we can dream, Habibti,” he purred into her ears, and satisfied to see Marinette yelped so cutely, he even forgets that they still have audiences in front of them! He wanted to tease her more, not before his brothers cut him rudely, though.

“AHEM!” Dick firstly said out loud,

“..As much as we love to see you guys being lovey-dovey…” Tim continued,

“..Don’t do this in front of us. That’s disgusting and you’re corrupting our eyes, goddamnit!” Jason finished with his usual foul language.

Apparently, there’s someone who agreed with Jason “He’s right! And don’t ignore us again, dammit! We’re still talking!”

Damian scowl, he’s not happy his brothers interrupt him although they’re right (Damian won’t ever say that out loud though), he needs to focus on this bigger problem before he can tease Marinette again. Damian then stood protectively in front of Marinette while he glowers at the class, “…I highly suggest you back off and leave this place immediately, if you guys care for your lives”.

The class visibly flinched at Damian’s harsh glare and scared with his cold voice but sadly there’s one person who stubbornly stands in front of him, “Wha—? Who are you to order us like that? You’re just her boyfriend! And why would you want to be with her anyway? She is just—-”

“Finish those words and I will finish your life, Césaire,” he hissed and… Can you see the glint in his eyes?

Alya gulps but she won’t give up, okay?! Not to a stranger like him! Nino, her boyfriend has been tried to pull her in, but she won’t let it! If all her friends already scared of his empty threat, then it’s probably just her alone against them, “..I-I’d like to see you try, Marinette’s boyfriend!” She mocks him.

He twitched, seriously this girl is either really brave or really stupid, probably the latter. He looks down on Alya and mocks her back, “Oh? Is that a challenge I heard? Okay then—”

“Dami..” Marinette tried to warn him but Damian just put his hand over hers and smiling gently at her worried face.

“Don’t worry, Habibti. Trust me, I got this.”

Nino, who stands behind Alya all this time, cowering in fear, deciding that this is the best time to defend his girlfriend, he pulls Alya and stands in front of her, completely shielding her from Damian, “W-what? You’re going to hit a girl? That’s not a cool move, dude.”

Damian just rolled his eyes, stating the obvious, “No way I would waste my punch on her.” He’s not declining his question, though. He indeed will not afraid to hit a girl if she really deserved it, except his habibti, he doesn’t know if he has a will to do that, even if he really did that, it’s probably just for practice but if for the other reasons? he knows he won’t forgive himself for the rest of his life.

Damian takes out his phone, not breaking his stare at the class and signaled with a simple word, “..Do it.”

Suddenly there’s loud alarm sound comes from all over the place which makes all people except Damian (He already prepared for this) flinch.

“W-what is this?!”

And somehow the loud alarm sound changes into broken sound (you know like bsst, bsst sound?) then finally there’s a feminine voice comes out, the very familiar voice. Lila tensed when she heard this voice, how come she’s not? When she recognized that voice is her own voice.

“I only tell people what they want to hear,”

“There’s nothing you can do about it anyway,”

“People can’t resist when they hear what they like to hear,”

“If you don’t want to be my friend then fine,”

“But soon you won’t have any friends left at all and trust me I’ll make sure you never get close to Adrien in class or anywhere,”

“So I’ll give you one last chance,”

“You’re either with me or against me.”

And then silence. A disturbance silence for Lila. She is very nervous, she afraid that her kingdom will fall because of this fake recording.

Lila clearly remembered at that time, when she threatens Marinette in the bathroom, there’s just her and Marinette! There’s no one else besides them… So there’s no way there’s someone who records their conversation and by the look of surprise on Marinette’s face, Lila knows that Marinette doesn’t have any clue about this too.

Alix, the one who quick realizing on what was really happening, spins around to glare at Lila, “Lila! What’s the meaning of this?!”.

Followed by the sweet little Rose, “Are you really lying to us all this time, Lila..?” her voice trembled, her eyes are teary, and her friend, Juleka was beside her, holding her close and glaring at Lila too.

Max was staring at his phone, terror overtook his face, he gulps and told them, “…It seems after I searching on the internet, I found something that contradiction with what Lila’ve been saying to us…”

Then his robot, Markov, explained further, “Lila has said that she saved Jagged Stone’s kitten but Jagged Stone never has a pet cat. In fact, he was allergic to fur. That’s the reason he has a pet reptile, which he named Fang.”

After that, the chaos happens, her class is shouting at Lila while Lila paled, she stammered, “Please! This is a misunderstanding! I would never lie to you guys! You’re my friends after all!”.

“Then explain this all!”

“Can you show us the song that Jagged Stone wrote about you?”

“Did you really close with Prince Ali? When I am with him, he never mentions about you at all.”

Overwhelmed by all of the questions, Lila turns frantically to the person who she sure will defend her until the last minute, “Alya! Please, you don’t believe this, are you?”

Alya looks conflicted with what was happening, she is thinking something before she shakes her head and snapped at Damian, “You have gone too far! Are you saying that Lila has been lying to us by showing this voice recording? Which I don’t believe it at all! Not only that, but you could also have faked it!”.

Marinette just stare at her past-best friends, she really disappoints with her, she shakes her head and remarked, “Oh Alya, I thought you want to be a Journalist… But it seems you lack something that journalists should have.”

Damian grunted, he agreed with Marinette, “That’s not fake. If you still don’t believe it. Well then…” he then grins sadistically, “You should mentally prepare yourself because this is just the beginning.”

Before Alya can ask further, there are alert sounds coming from various phones, including her own phone. She checks it and there’s one new message and it contains just a… video? She hesitated to open it but after hearing the gasp from her friends and the horror looks on their faces, her curiosity is winning over. So she clicked on it.

Lila, the only one who isn’t receiving the message, clearly confused with what is happening. The horror looks on her classmate is worrying her. She demands an answer to Marinette’s group, “What are you doing?!”. But no one replies because they were busy with themselves.

Marinette is watching the video with big surprised eyes before she stares at her boyfriend, sending a confused look. Damian just watching the whole video through her phone with a satisfying smile.

The Wayne Brothers are watching the video with different reactions, Jason occasionally commented, “Oh wow, she really falls that hard, huh..?”. Dick is watching the whole video with concern looks, he scrunched up his face. While Tim just watching with unreadable expressions. Although their eyes are gleaming because of something. And Lila didn’t like it. At all.

Alix is clearly furious after she watches the video, “You really have been lying to us!! You even threaten an innocent girl!”. Seeing the confused look from Lila, Alix rudely shoves her phone at Lila’s face, “Unless you can explain about this too!!”.

Lila scowled at Alix’s rude behavior before takes her phone. She plays the video, and the second the video played, the color instantly drained out of her face. This is when she threatens Kamelia at alley back then!

“You…! I don’t care who you are but now then you have already upset me, you will face the consequences too.”

“What? Just like you did to Marinette?”

“Not really, but maybe I will. I will find your friends, your family and then turn them against you, just like what I did to Marinette.”

“Aah! So my hunch was true. You’re the real bully here, Lila. Not Marinette.”

“Whatever you say, no one will believe you anyway. Because I already turn them all against Marinette. Although I don’t feel satisfied because Marinette still looks brave even if she was being bullied by her own friends”

“You should remember this, Kamelia. You better not crossing your line or I will make sure, that threats will come true. And maybe I will get to turns your lovely boyfriend against you too.”

This video is clearly showing her face. Her rage face. But how? She doesn’t remember that Kamelia bringing any cameras, she even hasn’t taken out her phones! So how..? Unless.. her glasses are actually—. Recognition dawned on her face.

But, it’s already too late. Now no one will believe her lies. Not even Alya, the girl just blankly staring at the video, playing it over and over again, desperately trying to find the odd things to prove that the video is just a scam. While her boyfriend, Nino, just stood beside her, held her hand gently, trying to comfort her and himself too.

Lila finally frustrated with what is happening, she then glared at Damian. It’s because of him! This chaos is happening because of him! Her lies have been exposed because of him! She takes a step forward and snarled, “Who are you really? You can’t do this!”

Hearing her silly question makes Damian rolling his eyes in annoyance, he decided to drop a final bomb, “Who am I? I am a f*cking Wayne, of course, I can do this.”

Once again, the class turns into chaos.

“You are The Damian Wayne?!”

“But you’re Lila’s Damibear!! She said you’re her boyfriend! ….Is that a LIE too?!”

“Damiboo?! How could you do this to me? You’re ganging up against me with Marinette!” Lila is really desperate for fixing this chaos, although she knows her chance was slim but at least she won’t know the real result if she just gives up now, right?

Of course, her final attempt is nothing to Damian, he just scoffs at Lila, “Now you told me this? We’ve been talking and you just realized I’m your supposed boyfriend, which is untrue. If you really dating me, which is delusive, you won’t treat me like a stranger,” his glare then turn to the rest of the class, “And if you guys decided to use your little brain and searching through the internet instead of believing blindly in what this Liela said…” he hissed in his coldest voice, “Maybe I won’t do this to you all and maybe you won’t find the truth this way.”

Unfortunately, the tense atmosphere didn’t last long, because his brothers decide to break it, by laughing, at him!

“…Damiboo? Damibear? Did I just heard right?”

“Oh my bats, that’s so funny! I can’t ever get tired hearing those nicknames.”

“It seems your nicknames now isn’t just Demon-spawn, brat.”

A vein popped out in his neck, Damian glared, hard, at his brothers, finally losing his temper, he went to punch at his brothers, clearly want to give them a lesson, “Will you guys be serious for a goddamn second!”

But Marinette sadly decided to stop him, now, by gripping tight his arm, “No, Dami! Don’t kill your brothers, please!”.

While his brothers just cheeky replied, completely ignoring the murderous glares from Damian, “We’re always serious… But there’s always time for teasing you, Baby Bat.”

Bonus Story 5. “We want to apologize!”

Watching her boyfriend tried to control his temper, Marinette decides that this is time for them to leave this chaos. She’s satisfied to know that her classmates finally learn the truth but just watching Lila constantly making excuses to pull her classmates back into her kingdom is really tiresome. Right now she is really tired, dammit! A nice bath and cozy bed are apparently the best ideas at the moment.

“Dami, we should go now. I am sure you and your brothers are tired from the long trip.”

He blinked, breaking his glare, and turn his gaze to Marinette’s smiley face, “Yeah sure, let’s do that. But I need to do a quick call before that” and he just smiles at her confused stare that silently sending a message, “What are you hiding?”.

Luckily he doesn’t need to make a call because he got a call from someone right after he said that. And apparently, it was the same person he planned to call.

“Hello, this is Damian…”

“…”

“…It seems you got the evidence too, right?”

“…”

“*chuckle* I already told you I’m not just any normal rich kids.”

“Now that I already did my part, you should keep your promise. After all, you already lost the bet.”

“…”

While Damian is calling, Marinette turns to Tim, who stood closest to her, “Do you guys already know about this before?” referring to the chaos and Damian’s mysterious call.

Shaking his head, Tim turns to his brothers, silently asking the same question. Jason just shrugs while Dick is shaking his head too. Out of these three siblings, Dick is the most surprised about this situation. While he knows that Marinette’s classmates are bad but he didn’t think that it was this bad, like really really bad. And he was flabbergasted to see his youngest brother were planning all of this behind their back. A lot of questions struck him, “Since when he plans this?”, “How come him and the others aren’t noticing this?”, “Is this the reason why Damian can’t play guitar well because he is focusing on the other matter whenever he practices?”.

“Well, at least now we know how much he is serious about you, Mari,” Dick said out loud while messing with Marinette’s hair, earning a cute pout from her.

Marinette was about to protest when she was cut off suddenly by Damian who pulled her away from his brothers. Although they just silently staring with an amusing glint, “Chill out Damian. We won’t steal her from you. Although being possessive is not good, baby bat. One day Marinette will be tired with your possessive side and decide to—”

“Uh, Since you guys already met Marinette and I’m sure you are tired, so you guys should go back to the hotel, right now.” Damian hurriedly pushing his brothers out of the way, and not a minute later, he comes back alone. His brothers might have returned to the hotel.

“I’m done. We can leave right now”

Marinette just raising her eyebrow at Damian’s behavior, “Are you really sure that I don’t have to worry about whatever you’re planning right now, Dami?”

“Of course, Habibti.”

“…If you say so…" Marinette then turns around to search her best friend, Adrien.

All this time, Adrien has been silently watching the event. He, himself, was glad too that Lila’s problem finally has been exposed. Although he felt a bit jealous of Damian’s abilities. Compared to him, who couldn’t do anything, he really felt so useless.

"Adrien!” Marinette shouts, breaking off his thought.

He looks up to see Marinette waving at him with her usual kind and concern eyes. She mouthed a goodbye which he responded with a wave and smile. Maybe now Adrien can relax for a little bit. He checks his phone and then decides to visit his girlfriend. He really needs a hug right now. After all, watching Marinette being lovey-dovey with her boyfriend makes him miss a certain Japanese-sword-woman.

When the class notices Marinette is about to leave, they run to Marinette’s group with Alix being the lead, “Wait, Marinette!”. Damian, being the overprotective boyfriend, immediately stood in front of Marinette, blocking the path of the class. Obviously, the class stopped when they see the cold gaze from Damian but they wouldn’t run away, even if their legs trembled in fear, their eyes sparkled with determination.

Marinette just quietly staring at the class, debating to answer them or not but when she notices their determination’s looks, her kindness side can’t bear to ignore their plea. “…What do you guys want?”

“We want to apologize!” Alix said firstly, followed by the class bowing at her, “We are very sorry, Marinette!!”

Of course, they will apologize right after they know the truth. But does they really mean it? Marinette couldn’t help feeling a little skeptical, especially with them. Trust is an easy thing to give but they also easy to be broken and once they broke, they are harder to fix it in any way.

Marinette sigh, mentally, she is so tired, she didn’t even notice that her grip on Damian’s arm tightened, “Raise your head guys. No need to bow…”

The class slowly raised their heads, they were still doubtful because that was not the answer they wanted to hear. They think Marinette will immediately accept their apologies because Marinette is a kind person after all and not only that, they’re friends, right…? But hearing the hesitant in her voice made them think otherwise. “But Marinette–”

“I know you guys are apologizing right now… But frankly, let’s be real, did you really think I will accept it right now? Just because you guys knew the truth?”

Seeing the anxious faces from her classmates, Marinette just continues, “You guys have been hurting me physically and mentally for a long time. I don’t want to hate someone but I’m afraid I can’t accept your apologies right now…”

Hearing her broken tone made the class feels very guilty. They only realize the reality now. They’ve broken their friend, their everyday ladybug, their class president. The same kind girl who always beaming with smiles, now just a girl with a broken heart who smiling bitterly at them.

Alya trying to hold back her tears, right now she was disgusted with herself, how can she call herself Marinette’s best friend when, she, herself choose to believe Lila over her best friend? The whole class also feels the same way. They feel betrayed, sad, angry and more.

Truth to be told, they are so lost now. What must they do to gain Marinette’s trust again? No, more precisely, can they get it? Or do they have to live with guilt haunting them for the rest of their lives? Is—

Their train of thoughts was broken with someone’s laughter, “This is ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!” lord and behold, the blonde sass-queen is here.

“CHLOE?!”

“What? Why do you guys look so surprised?”

“But why were you here…? I thought you’re a busy person?”

“Of course I am. But after I notice the commotion, I decide to stay a little bit. Just for a precaution. Maybe someone will need Queen Bee’s help. Not only that, I get to watch an interesting event so that’s a win-win for me.”

“Wha-? You think this matter is funny?!”

“Oops no, I don’t mean the one you guys knowing the truth. Frankly, I don’t care about you guys. What I mean is I get to watch that liar being arrested.”

“WHAT?! You mean Lila?”

“Duh of course. Who is the Liar in here if not Lila?”

“Wait, speaking of Lila, where’s is she?”

“Now you guys just realize that?”

“Ugh…”

Chloe rolled her eyes and spoke in a sarcastic tone, “While you guys were being a pathetic chicken who lost their parent and didn’t know their way home, Lila was arrested by one of the officers. That girl was really something. Until the last minute, she still didn’t admit her crimes.”

Leave it to Chloe for insulting someone right after she comes. Although thanks to her, the class right now seemed to forget their sadness. Marinette silently thanking Chloe for that. But how come she doesn’t notice Lila being arrested?

“Did you already know about this too?” she asked her boyfriend, the master behind all these plans.

“What do you mean?”

“Pretend to be innocent is a futile move, you know. Let me just change the question, is the person you are calling related to Lila arrested?”

“ah… Maybe?”

“Dami…”

“It’s true Habibti. I don’t know for sure because I didn’t realize it either. Besides, I’ve been captivated by your beauty.”

“Damian!”

The said person just laughed even when she hit his arm. Ugh! How embarrassing. How come she always being teased?! For once, she wanted to be the one who teases him!

Now her classmates are unsure of what to do, although some of them were smiling amusingly, probably because they see how she and Damian’s act at each other. While Chloe openly smirks at them, clearly amused by how flustered Marinette was.

Marinette cleared her throat loudly, she really wanted to leave asap, so she left her last message, “At least if you really want redemption from me. The least you guys can do is by helping our superhero, Ladybug, defend this city from Hawkmoth. You must release any negative emotions you felt immediately because of this event. That way, Hawkmoth won’t have the chance to destroy our city. And maybe, helping her discovering Hawkmoth’s identity is also a good idea.”

Then she left with Damian, she hoping her classmates really took her advice seriously.

Bonus Story 6. “What are you doing, Habibti?”

That night, Marinette visited the hotel where Wayne Brothers were staying with a box of macaroons on her hand. Of course, the older brothers (Dick, Jason, and Tim) were happy because they miss Dupain-Cheng’s food. They immediately launch themselves at the box macaroons while Marinette just sweatdrops at their silly behavior.

She turns around searching for her boyfriend but when she didn’t find him, she asked them, “Where is Damian…?”

“Oh, Damian? He is taking a shower.”

“Oh right! Marinette! We have an interesting video for you.” Jason suddenly spoke, he is grinning like he is going to prank someone.

“Huh? What kind of video…?”

Now it’s Dick’s turn to grin, “You know Damian was practiced singing and playing guitar for a month..? Well, although on the outside, his perform looked so perfect. But actually, he was really struggling in the beginning.”

Jason nodded, “Yup, he always chanted the same word over and over again to boost his confidence. And let just say, it’s was interesting to watch the perfect cocky Demon-spawn turns into that state.”

Tim spoke, reaching into his pocket, “Wait, let me just show her the video…” but he suddenly halted and looked at Marinette, “…That is, if you’re interested too, Marinette.”

A video showing Damian’s weakness..? This is a good chance for her! Now with that video, she can tease back him~

Marinette nodded excitedly, “Of course!”.

“Okay let me just send it to your phone, okay? I know you want to tease him with that.” Tim then grins at her.

After Tim sent the video, Marinette sat on the couch and started watching the video while waiting for Damian.

5 Minutes Later, Damian comes out only to see Marinette sitting on the couch although he can’t see what she is doing because her back is facing him. He looks around but he couldn’t find his brothers anywhere, Where are they? He shakes his head, thinking it was not worth worrying about his brothers, they are probably gone doing their usual business.

Damian approached Marinette and curiously asked, “What are you doing, Habibti?”.

“GyAhh!!??” Marinette shrieks, almost dropped her phone in the process. She turns around to see her boyfriend with a towel on his shoulder, his hair is also not gelled as usual and they looked damp.

“Da-Dami?”

Her boyfriend just looks at her while raising his eyebrow, “Yep. Now, what are you doing? You looked so focused there.”

“I-it’s just a random video I got from your brothers.”

When Marinette mentioned his brothers, he can’t help feeling suspicious. Because his brothers are always up to no good. Especially Jason, he likes to prank him, while Tim always teases him and Dick just doing the pacify between them, “Them..? Can I watch it too?”

Although Marinette’s response get him felt more suspicious, “N-no!”

“…Why?”

“Be-because it’s just a random video. You don’t need to watch it!” Marinette tried to hide her phone but when she hid it, she accidentally touched her screen phone which made the video she was watching play.

“I am Damian Wayne, a son of batman, an ex-assassin, a grandson of Ra-ul, and not only that I am a genius person who can do anything. Of course, I can do this! This is just a simple task! Yeah, a simple task!”

Damian frowned upon hearing his voice while Marinette grimaced at her own carelessness. Since the cat is already out of the bag, she reluctantly handed him her phone.

“This is what you called a random video?”

Marinette scratching her head while sheepishly laugh at his question, although that just annoyed him more. Suddenly he got an idea. He threw carelessly her phone, which gains a surprised gasp from her,

“Wait my phone–!”

Damian stated the obvious, “You don’t need that anymore.”

“But—”

He did not stop there. He pulled Marinette’s outstretched hand until their faces were very close, “Why would you watch it if you already have the real one here?”

“!!!” Marinette’s face instantly flushed, she can smell his scent, his mint shampoo, and not only that, his forest green eyes are watching her like watching his prey, it’s already made her felt all-jelly.

“It seems I need to teach you again. I don’t like sharing.”

“But it’s just a video! And it’s about you too!”

“The fact that the ‘me’ in the video get more of your attention than her real boyfriend who’ve volunteered to go all the way here is upsetting him.”

She turned her head, avoiding his attractive eyes, “You’re so silly, Dami.”

Of course Damian is not really upset with her, he just wants to tease her, like usual. The way her face flushed and how hard she tried to avoid his eyes are really amusing for him to see. He really felt lucky to have this cute, smart and brave girlfriend. She is really perfect in any way. He embraces her gently, loving how exactly it feels when hugging her. He can smell her scent, blueberry and vanilla flavors. He then spoke softly, “…I miss you.”

“But we just met this afternoon..?” she teased him which earned a grunt from him. Marinette happy because she finally can tease him back!

She giggled then return his hug, “Okay okay, I miss you too, silly.”

After that, she released the hug, much to his disappointment. She stares at Damian determinedly, “Now, take back my phone and start telling me how you can get those shreds of evidence!”

Mini Bonus.

When Lila was in a police car that would take her out of Paris to be returned to her home country, she still hoped for her final reinforcements. She hissed, “Hawkmoth! Where were you??! I need your help, dammit!”

But sadly, or not, her last reinforcements never comes.

-While in Gotham-

Gabriel have to attend a partner business in Gotham, which made him reluctantly left Paris for a while. Although he doesn’t know if he can sense the negative emotions when he was far from Paris. Well, it’s time to try it.

This partner business is very important to him. Because somehow the richest person in the Gotham, Bruce Wayne, CEO of WE too, interested in his proposal and wanted to discuss it more directly. Of course, he is delighted with this news. If he succeeds in partnering with WE, he can get more investors! But since Bruce is a busy person, he sadly can’t leave Gotham. Which leave him no choice to left Paris and go to Gotham instead.

When he arrived at the party hosted by Bruce, he immediately searched Bruce in the crowd. But sadly he couldn’t find him yet. Instead, he met with other business people and was invited to talk.

At first, he doesn’t notice the buzz feeling until that buzzing feeling succeeds to take his attention. This feeling! It’s negative emotions! And it’s a big one too! He felt giddy and ready to leave asap to change into Hawkmoth. He intended to say goodbye to his crowd but stopped because he was called by someone, it’s the Bruce himself. Talk about bad timing, he grimaced at himself. He reluctantly greets Bruce while Bruce is smiling and thanking him for coming all the way here. Bruce keeps talking to him, clearly unaware at Gabriel’s dismay.

[MAIN] || [BONUS 1] || [BONUS 2] You’re here

And that’s the final part of A Little Too Much! :) And yep, Bruce can’t come along to Paris because of his partner business with Gabriel while Gabriel can’t change into Hawkmoth because of Bruce, lol. Is that a mere coincidence or…?

Taglist:

@persephonebutkore @bungou-stray-alies-tales-of-aly (I’m sorry I can’t tag you for some reason?) @northernbluetongue @bluerosette23 @schrodingers25 @kris-pines04 @clumsy-owl-4178

I think that’s all? I’m sorry if I miss someone but please tell me if I really miss someone who wants to be tagged!

#songfic: a little too much #daminette #damian x marinette #marinette x damian #maridami #damimari #my attempt writing

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probskay · 4 years

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434 Usher Lane, Appt. 6

A reimagining of Edgar Allen Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher. Back when I first read the story, I found Poe’s version to be held down by the language of his day, but thought the concept was earnestly terrifying. As a result, I wrote a modern version of the story. The original story has been transcribed below.

As I stepped toward the apartment, I felt a very particular sense of sadness. It was a dilapidated and weary building, one that had seen the sorrows of a dozen years and never spoken of a single one of them. The rain gutters were falling off, a few of the windows were boarded up, and there was evidence of re-plastering in some places. There were 6 mailboxes out by the door, hanging on the wall. Apparently, anyway. Numbers 1 and 4 had fallen off, and it was clear no one was going to put them back on.

To make matters worse for this already wretched building, it was essentially isolated. Any other buildings that used to be nearby seemed to have been leveled, for something to be built in their places. Nothing was ever erected, and odds have it nothing ever will be. The closest building to this apartment is at least a block away. Why Roderick chose to keep living here despite how terrible the place is made no sense to me.

The porch of this particular building had two doors. One of those doors led into a small hallway, visible from a small window in the door, and the other led to a stairway that went up, also visible from a small window in the door. The hallway contained apartments 2, 4, and 6, leading me to believe apartments 1, 3, and 5 were upstairs. A cold breeze blew through my jacket, making it clear that I should head inside.

The small hallway was still chilly, but it at least protected me from the breeze, which was a gift. However, the air was musty and filled with dust, which couldn’t have been good for my lungs. Thus I elected to get into Rod’s home as quickly as possible.

I walked down the end of the hall to the door labelled 6. I knocked on the door and waited for Rod to answer. I held my jacket up to my face while I waited, to keep the dust out. However, after a couple minutes and two more knocks, there was no answer.

I went to the other doors and knocked on them, too, but they threw up dust as if protesting my hand rapping against them. Obviously no one had used those doors in a long while, and the rooms were unoccupied. I sighed behind my jacket, and returned to Rod’s door. I knocked on it once more, louder than before, and waited.

Moments later, Rod opened the door up.

“Ah, you’re here!” he exclaimed.

“I am,” I replied.

“Come in, come in,” he said. “God, it’s been too long since I’ve seen you. High school sure has been a long time ago, huh? Even college, as a matter of fact.”

Rod led me into his house. His front room was poorly adorned, filled only with a blue love seat and a small desk with an old computer and some other device I was unfamiliar with. It must have been providing him with internet. The desk had a wooden chair seated at it.

He walked into the kitchen, which was cleaner and better furnished than the rest of the home. For one thing, there was a dining table there with 3 chairs, matching that of the one by the desk, as well as a proper refrigerator, stove, oven, and various cupboards.

“Rod, what’s up with this apartment? It’s empty and abandoned except for you. I’m honestly surprised the place hasn’t been torn down yet,” I said.

“Take a seat,” Rod said, pulling a chair out for me. “And yeah, that’s true. I’m basically squatting here. The landlord died, and the city is still looking for his most recent relatives. Or were, anyway. It’s been 4 years and they haven’t found anyone, or they gave up and haven’t bothered the place. Either way, home sweet home. This place provides for all we need, free of charge. Electricity, water, and heat. The only thing I have to get myself is food and a stable internet connection. Food is fine, I just walk up the street with a shopping cart I keep hidden behind the apartment and head to the local superstore. There’s also a prescription place in there so that I can keep Maddy medicated.” Roderick paused and looked wistful. “Or, well, so I could keep Maddy medicated.”

Madeline was Roderick’s twin sister. They were only fraternal twins, so they didn’t look too similar, but they had always been by each other’s sides. Their family was very wealthy, and the two of them lived through all of high school without either parent after they died. Rather simply, they’ve been independent for basically all of their lives.

“What happened to Maddy?” I asked.

“She got sick,” Rod began. “She has some sort of heart condition. I can’t leave her alone for too long or she might do something drastic. You know what I mean.”

I shook my head. “I’ve never heard of a heart condition that would make someone,” I put up my hands to make air quotes, “‘do something drastic.’” I cocked my head at Rod. “Are you sure she isn’t just depressed? Or anxious? There are plenty of therapists she could talk to about this. Keeping her isolated in a place like this can’t be good for her.”

Rod shook his head, looking somber again. “No, she had a heart condition. She’s dead.”

“Oh,” I responded. We both sat in silence for a few moments, heads hung low. Eventually I spoke up again. “What should we do with her?”

Rod looked back up. “Well, I tried talking to her about a last will and testament, but all she ever told me was that she never wanted to go anywhere. Now that she’s dead, I have to interpret what that means myself, and I think she wants to be buried in this house. I prepared a place a little bit in the basement, but I’ll need your help actually putting her to rest.”

I stood up in indignation. “You want to bury your sister in this abandoned old apartment? No, she deserves a proper burial, or at least to be cremated. Maddy shouldn’t just be thrown into a basement and forgotten. She was a good girl, you know this.”

Rod sighed. “She told me what she wanted.”

“She’s mentally unwell, Roderick. You can’t just take her word like that.”

“You know the ill still have will. We’re obligated to fulfill her request, even if it doesn’t make sense.”

I stepped backward, once. “I’m not following through with this.”

Rod sighed. “You can either help me with this and stay the night, catch up with me a bit, or you can just go. I don’t care which you do. To be honest, I can bury her myself. I called you here because I’ve been feeling lonely.”

I clenched my fists and stared Rod down. He made no motion to move. I sighed and let go of my hands. “Fine, Rod. I’ll help you. It’s… unfortunate that this happened. I feel awful.”

Rod stood up and put his hand on my shoulder. “Me too. Hopefully things will get better once this is all said and down. I’ll probably leave after tonight, anyway. Too many painful memories in these halls.”

I nodded.

Rod walked further into the apartment, and I followed him. He led me into a bedroom, where his sister laid on her bed, over the blankets. She was utterly still, and her cheeks were still flush with blood.

“My. She died recently, hasn’t she?”

“Yes,” Rod answered. “I called you just after I heard her last breath. I cried for a good while too. My tears are dry now, though. I just want to see this through to the end.”

I nodded. We walked over to her, and I picked her up, cradling her in my arms. She was still warm, too.

“It’s unfortunate that death plays these tricks, isn’t it? She still feels so lively.”

Rod nodded vigorously. “If I hadn’t heard her stop breathing, I would have thought she was still alive. Death isn’t kind to us.”

Rod led me out of the bedroom and into a hallway. There were two other doors and a stairway leading down. Rod went down the stairs, and I followed him. Downstairs, I saw a washing and drying machine, but not before I noticed a huge section of the wall had been pulled aside, revealing a hole behind it.

“You built Madeline a tomb,” I stated, aghast.

“Well, digging into the floor wasn’t going to work. At least this way I can seal the wall back up.” Rod pointed to a bucket of plaster he had next to the wall. “Just lean her into there, and then help me push the wall back.

I gently laid Maddy into the tomb. It felt as if she had sighed as I put her down. I shuddered at the thought. It must have been her body settling and releasing gasses from when she was alive.

I helped Roderick shove the wall back into the slot where it was meant to be. There were thin cracks on either side, and Rod took to filling them in with the plaster rather quickly.

“Plaster doesn’t seem like the right solution for this stony basement wall,” I said.

“Likely not,” Rod replied, “But it’s the best I’ve got. This place is abandoned anyway. I doubt anyone will notice or care.” Rod sniffled. “It’s what she wanted,” he finished.

He finished sealing up the wall, and kneeled in front of it for a while, silently. “I’m sorry, but could you give me a few moments alone?” He asked.

“Yes,” I replied. I walked back upstairs, and returned to sitting at the kitchen table. He returned after a few minutes as well.

“It’s going to be a night before I’ll be able to sleep again,” Rod said.

“Maybe we could pass the time watching a movie?” I suggested.

“I don’t know. I just feel awful. I don’t know if anything can really help me.”

“Let’s give it a shot anyway,” I said. I pulled out my phone and started looking through a couple apps for a suitable movie.

I found something. “Have you seen this movie?” I asked.

Rod shook his head. “I haven’t been watching many films.”

“Perfect,” I said. I turned the movie on and set my phone up so that we could watch it together.

Not even after the opening credits had finished did I hear a loud sound coming from downstairs. “Did you hear that?”

Rod chuckled to himself. “We made a mistake, friend.” He said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I’ve heard those pounds many times before.” Another pound. “She’s been pounding at the door of this place for months now, desperate to escape. She’s wanted out more than you or I could ever understand, but I was scared.” The pounds continued in earnest. “I didn’t want Her to leave me alone in this wretched place. You see, it wasn’t Her who held me here, but the other way around.” Every time he referred to her, I could feel some sort of intensity behind the words. “I gave Her pills to reduce Her will to fight me and to break out of here. I had been drugging Her to keep Her in a nearly infantile state so that She may never leave me, and now I’ve done something much worse. I’ve buried Her alive in that basement. If I couldn’t have Her, no one could. Now here we are, and She rattles in Her grave to escape.”

I heard one final, deafening pound from below. I stood up in shock. “You mean to tell me that you knew she wasn’t dead, and you had me bury her anyway?”

“She’ll be here any moment now,” he replied.

I picked up my phone and stepped away from him, and toward the exit. “You mean she’s-” I didn’t finish my thought, as she was standing in the doorway. Her clothing was bloodied and covered in stone and dust, as were her arms similarly bruised and bloodied. Stone jutted out of various wounds in her body, but she simply stared at us with an intensity I never knew nor could ever know. There were bags under her eyes and bruises on her nose and forehead that made me shiver in their utter grotesqueness.

I stumbled backward as Roderick laughed, his mind broken, and Madeline jumped atop of him and began to strangle him with her beaten and broken arms. His cackling was replaced by death rattles as she crushed his windpipe with her bare hands.

I turned heel and fled that building, plowing through doors and rushing back to my car.

I jammed my keys into the ignition and turned them. The car failed to start twice, during which I heard a scream so inhuman that I could never attempt to describe it again. On the third attempt, my car started and I sped away from there faster than I had ever driven before.

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annypuff · 4 years

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Hello! How are you? I hope you are doing well ☺ i had a question for you! I want to get into digital drawing, but I don't have a tablet, and honestly not much money either HAHA. Do you have any recommendations on what type of tablets I should be looking at? Or even some tips? I would really appreciate it! Your art is amazing

hi!! i can tell you personally what i’ve been through if that will help! sorry, i get super into these things!!! lol so this is gonna be long, sip some water and grab a snack lol

i started digitally drawing in 2005 on ms paint with just a mouse haha.. and it wasn’t until maybe like 2009 i got a wacom bamboo fun tablet! which isn’t the kind with a display. I got it for like, $60-70CAD at the time, at one point had to replace it but it was still the same style of tablet.. and i had been drawing with it for over a decade! I was using ms paint but at some point i switched over to adobe’s flash (like an old version that i was able to get for free) and then paint tool SAI (which i got a “portable” version of... aka pirated lmao) anyways, wacom is on the pricier side but ive heard many great things about the brand huion? they’re a cheaper alternative and i believe they’re just as good! you definitely should watch some youtube videos about them though! so many of my friends (who are just casual artists, or just starting out!) just bit the bullet and got huion branded stuff and they love it so far.

however, some people have come up to me about how they can’t seem to fathom drawing without looking at their hand, so they opt for display tablets. this is where even ipads and other mobile tablets can come into play to. so i bought my display tablet, an old wacom cintiq, secondhand, just like, 2 yrs ago and i love it so much and i totally understand why people would rather skip the regular tablet “phase” and go straight into display tablets. it’s pretty much the closest thing to putting pen to paper except, digitally! but it is EXTREMELY pricey! you’re essentially buying a powered monitor lol depending on the sizes and brand, it can go anywhere between $300-2500! im going to mention huion again bc, yup!! very good alternative, more affordable brand! now if you’re thinking mobile tablets, i just recently got myself the samsung tab s6 lite, it’s a good mid-tier price and they support many other drawing programs and recently they released clip studio paint (what i use) for android and its fine so far! there’s many other mobile drawing software out there too, i suggest looking up on youtube as well as i cant seem to recall the names lol. but honestly, i only ever use it if i wanted to draw digitally on the go lol. this is very privileged of me. i know a lot of artists solely use their ipads and procreate, which i get why it’s so amazing but literally like that post i reblogged had said, it doesn’t matter what you have, it’s how you use it!!

currently i use clip studio paint as my software, but i bought it (on sale!! it goes on sale a few times a year) lol after i started making a stable income (again i feel very blessed) i also got SAI officially hahaha. i literally don’t know how to use photoshop properly :’D GIMP is a free drawing program, i think it reminds me of photoshop though so i didn’t really use it much. I actually haven’t gone around looking at any other drawing software, as i just keep advertising CSP to my friends and they also bought it.. so i would once again resort to youtube for that lol but i love CSP bc they have built in 3d models you can pose!! lol and backgrounds and other assets you can download, etc... when it’s on sale i goes down i think to 70? maybe less, i can’t recall. i don’t wanna advocate uh.. “portable” versions but uh... there’s that option too ;) (not sure if CSP has it but i think SAI’s is around somewhere on the internet...)

in the end, it really is an investment if it’s something you want to hone!! huion is something you should definitely look into and if you want to keep doing it in the long run, you can upgrade much later! I would say, if you can somehow test how well you can do with a non-display tablet, i would just go with that for budget purposes. if it wasn’t for my impulsive nature, i probably wouldve stuck with a non-display for a very long time lol.

oh also this is me assuming you have a laptop or a computer, if you’re running solely on mobile then an ipad alternative would be the samsung s6 tab lite, or anything similar, esp if you’re just going to be using it for drawing!

im so sorry this is so long LMAO my INFP ass just wants to be as helpful as i can... TLDR: try huion! LOL and trial versions of drawing programs!! to see which you feel more comfortable with hehe

#omg im so sorry anon i jsut flooded with so much info #i get REALLY passionate about this shit #if you have any SPECIFIC questions PLS dont hesitate to ask!!!!!

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serendipitous-magic · 4 years

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Question Game - AKA Oversharing Hour

I was tagged by @the-angry-pixie! And I’m a chronic oversharer, so this was fun. I’ll put most of it under a read more line because there’s a LOT.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen?

Black. Dunno why.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city?

City city city city city city city city. I’m already going fucking batshit as it is, trapped in suburbia. I want to be able to actually do things, anything. Anything other than just being around the house and / or work. (And I felt like this before the pandemic started.) If you live in the city you can walk out your door and be somewhere else within like 5 minutes. A city park, a cafe, a train/subway, a local attraction, a museum, an artist’s booth, an outdoor market, etc. etc.

Living in suburbia is like, well, to go literally anywhere you have to get into your car first and drive like 10 minutes minimum to get out of the neighborhood, and then if you want to go anywhere that’s not the grocery store you have to drive 20 minutes to get to another area of town, and then once you get there that’s the only place you can be without getting into your car again and getting a nice shot of anxiety from having to drive in traffic and have aggressive drivers roar up on your ass because you’re going 5mph above the speed limit and they want to be going 15mph above, and god help you if you have to merge, and oh by the way this is your only option to get around because public transit doesn’t really exist in any useful way in Big Suburbia, and nothing in within walking distance of your house except like 2 playgrounds and maybe one (1) gas station. (I hate it here lmao)

If I was trapped in the country I’d probably be chill with it for about a week, and enjoy the break, and the on day 8 I’d snap and go on a murdering spree out of stir-craziness.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be?

I want to learn German and eventually be fluent in it. But since I’ve already started trying to learn and I don’t know if that counts, I’ll say cinematography. As in the actual working of the camera and lighting and all that. I can dream up some pretty striking images but actually getting the camera to do the settings needed to capture them is another story entirely.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?

Nope. I drink coffee and tea both, and I don’t put any kind of sweetener in either of them. I used to put a shitton of sugar in my coffee and honey in my tea, and then I had some mild eating disorder struggles in college and I never got back in the habit of putting stuff in my hot drinks after that. It just tastes wrong now, after being used to plain black coffee.

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

Either the Harry Potter series or The Hobbit. My grandma would take care of me a lot when I was really little because my parents both worked full time to support us, and every single time I was at her house she’d sit us down at the dining room table and read something to me. Not Junie B. Jones or anything, either, but real, big, thick books. I loved the shit out of Harry Potter and The Hobbit; I would request them repeatedly. We pretty much went back and forth; we’d read Harry Potter, and then The Hobbit, and then when a new Harry Potter book came out we’d read that, and then The Hobbit again, and so on and so forth.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

Showers. I love baths, they’re magical, but ain’t nobody got time for that unless it’s a special occasion. I got too much shit to do to spend an hour lying in the bathtub.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be?

Vampire. Purely on the basis that if I was immortal maybe I’d finally have time to get my to-do list done and accomplish things. I’d miss the sunlight though.

8. Paper or electronic books?

Paper. Here’s the thing, I really want to enjoy ebooks, but they just don’t hold my attention at all. Maybe I’m too conditioned by the internet to have a short attention span when I’m looking at a screen, idk.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

I have a dark gray hoodie from the Seattle Aquarium from when I went on a road trip across America with my BFF a few years ago. It’s still my absolute favorite thing. I also enjoy my hiking boots a lot. (I wear them all the time, really they should just be called “everyday boots” haha)

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it?

I like my name and I would also like to start going by something different. Probably just because I’m a restless soul and I feel the best (and least trapped) when I’m on the move or when things are changing. The second I get somewhere I want to be somewhere else. That’s just how I am. Gwen is a cool name (I’ve personally met maybe 3 people in my whole life with the same name, face-to-face), but there’s a lot attached to that nickname that I don’t necessarily want to carry with me when I eventually escape my hometown and start down a new path.

11. Who is a mentor to you?

A friend and former professor whom I usually refer to online as Producer Man. He’s a producer (as you may have guessed) who kind of took me under his wing after I was in one of his film classes in college. We work together on film projects now and he’s teaching me bit-by-bit (usually by way of long, rambling, tangential stories / lectures) about the industry. He’s a really good guy. Like, he for sure has a case of Old White Guy sometimes, but his heart is absolutely in the right place. “He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit.” He’s always leaving $10 tips at coffee places and working himself to the bone to get his students connected to jobs and internships that will help them with their careers.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for?

Yes, my stories. Actually, “famous” is not the right word. It’s just that fame is so tightly associated with success in our society. I want to be successful. Whether I’m widely known or not is pretty inconsequential to me. I want to make stories and I want them to have an impact. Books, film, etc. It’s about as simple as that.

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

Oh yeah. I have trouble sleeping as much as I should because I usually kind of jerk awake in the morning with this vague feeling that I forgot something or that I’m late for something. Also I stay up later than I should because I’m a night owl, and yet I like being up early because early mornings are great. And usually if I dream at all it’s something kind of stressful, like I dream that I forgot something important or did something wrong. I’m a Stressed Bean.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person?

I think so, yeah. I’m pretty obsessed with the idea of romance (I mean look at my OTPs), but heteronormativity got me fucked up enough that I’m bad at actually navigating real romantic feelings or relationships because society never prepared me for The Gay.

15. Which element best represents you?

Fire, probably.

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

My mom. We fight a lot and there tends to be a lot of tension between us. It’s a long complicated story. It boils down to, she really hurt me when I came out as not-straight at 15 and she lost all of my trust and even though she’s working on being less homophobic we’re still kind of trying to repair that divide seven years later.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

Dude, I miss everyone. I’m an introvert and I’d love to be at a big party right now. I miss socialization. (As does everyone.)

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

The first time I experienced deja vu, I was about eehhh 6? And I legitimately believed, for several years of my life, that I had future-predicting abilities. Like, supernatural-level future-predicting abilities. Because I didn’t really know what deja vu was, so I thought, every time it happened, that I had already ~seen~ that moment in my dreams or something. 🤣

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

Hm. (My immature ass brain yells “DICK.” No, brain. Those were dark heteronormative times. Also, grow up.)

Probably some of the sushi in Seattle. I actually love sushi, it’s just that when it has full-on legs and eyeballs I start getting a little squeamish. I like the rolls and the kind where there’s some fish meat laid out on a nice little bed of rice, that’s delicious. But when they brought out the whole shrimp with legs still attached, I was like “How in the (redacted) am I going to chew / swallow that.”

20. What are you most thankful for?

That I happened to be living with family when this pandemic hit. I was supposed to move out (and across the country, actually) as of... like 4 days ago, as it happens. That was the plan. Plane ticket was gonna be booked for 7/15/20. Obviously, things didn’t quite work out that way, because of the pandemic and a few other reasons. But I can’t imagine if I had been in an apartment living with roommates, or in an apartment on my own struggling to get by, when this happened. A lot of people couldn’t pay rent and lost their homes. I was very, very lucky to be where I was, when I was, and very lucky that I have family who let me stay in their house pretty much indefinitely while this clusterfuck of a year happens.

21. Do you like spicy food?

Yes! I looooove spicy thai food especially. I miss the massaman curry from a local Thai place so much 😭

22. Have you ever met someone famous?

Um. Maybe? I met Veronica Roth once at an author talk in the library where I work, although it was before I worked there. And I met some guy from New Zealand who’s famous for his sword fighting skills because my dad does sword fighting stuff. Don’t remember his name though.

23. Do you keep a diary or journal?

Yep. I have to write down everything or I forget. (I often say I have the memory of a goldfish.) Also, I have this compulsion to record and preserve my experiences in life, because I feel like our time on Earth is so fleeting and if I don’t write down what’s important to me, I’ll forget it and lose it.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil?

Pen. Pencil gets smudged.

25. What is your star sign?

Scorpio, which is ironic because they’re supposed to be ~hyper sexual~ I guess, and I’m like gray-ace or something in that zone.

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy?

Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal? Are you okay? Do you need help? This is an intervention.

27. What would you want your legacy to be?

My stories. Life and sentience, as we experience it, is made up of just that: experience. And I read somewhere that, on some level, the human brain doesn’t differentiate that much between real life experiences and fictional experiences. I think that’s true. If you read or watch or hear the right story, it can really touch you and change the way you see life, or even change the way you live life. Stories have an incredible amount of power, both in individual people’s lives and in larger society. A huge amount of power. I want to be able to give people experiences that will Enrich Their Lives (do I sound like a lifestyle coach yet? 🤦🏼‍♀️), but also stories that actively do good in society. Positive representation, body positivity/neutrality, diversity, healthy relationships (Hollywood has a real problem with that). Hope. It’s the best thing I can think to give society, and storytelling is what I love to do.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read?

I love reading. I wish I did it more. Part of my problem is that I get caught up in the hectic Rat Race of modern society and I never feel like I have time to sit down with a book for hours. Another problem of mine is that I start too many things at once, meaning I currently have like 5-10 (I lost count) books that I started reading, and I want to finish all of them, which means no progress ever gets done on any of them.

I last finished The Goldfinch, and I am currently working on The Secret History, Good Omens, Dune, a book my dad wrote, Directing Actors, Shot by Shot, The Way of Kings and I forget what else.

29. How do you show someone you love them?

Physical affection, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and gifts, in that order. If I’m close to someone, whether romantically or not, I want all the affection. And I’m kind of dying in quarantine.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks?

Depends. I usually don’t put any in, because it’s just gonna water down the drink and get in the way of drinking it (you know when the ice attacks your face?), but I don’t really mind ice in my drinks.

31. What are you afraid of?

Helplessness. I Have Control Issues. ✌️ Also stagnation.

32. What is your favourite scent?

Amber. Or any scent that’s kind of autumn-y. You know what I mean. Some other examples include dryer sheets, wood smoke, cigarette smoke (my big sister used to smoke a long long time ago, and although I never saw her do it, I still associate the scent with her), pine resin, rain, that Mahogany Woods scent from Bath and Bodyworks.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?

If they introduce themselves as Pam I call them Pam. If they introduce themselves as Mr. Brown I call them Mr. Brown.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

If “money is not a factor” means I have an infinite amount of money to spend as I wish, then: buy land, build film studio complex on land, found company, hire fellow creatives, make movies.

If “money is not a factor” just means that I don’t have to work 40 hours a week to afford rent, then: move to Chicago, rent a nice studio apartment, write stories, maybe work 15 hours a week at a used bookstore or coffee shop to get me out of the house and socialize. Go to museums, go to the park, walk along Lake Michigan, go to gay bars, ride the train, brave the Illinois winters, own a cat, paint, play guitar. Build my actual career on writing / storytelling. Probably also do some filmmaking.

Alternatively: buy an RV (not like an American Trailer Park shitty RV, I’m talking the NOICE ones), buy good film equipment, be a freelancer, live in RV driving around to wherever the next filming location is. Life is a road trip and I’m doing what I love. Writing, storytelling, filmmaking. My home would travel with me. Writing in cafes; roadside attractions; early mornings on the road with coffee in the cup holder as the sun comes up; being able to go anywhere to film; always experiencing something new.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

I’ve lived in a landlocked state my whole life, so I guess swimming pools. And, listen, I CANNOT get water in my mouth at the beach without wondering exactly how many kids have peed (or worse) in that water. (I know that’s a thing with pools too, but pools get cleaned.)

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground?

Wonder what some poor European is doing in America right now. But if it was $50, I’d probably yell “DID ANYONE DROP THIS?” and then take it if no one speaks up.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star?

A few times, yeah.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children?

Grades are not the end-all-be-all. Skip some homework assignments to spend time with friends. Skip class sometimes. I’m serious. If you make school your top priority, even over your own personal life, you will come away with good grades and a lot of regret and missed opportunities. Learning is HELLA important, and very very little of it happens inside a school building. Get a 15 hour weekend or after-school job in high school, befriend your coworkers, and have fun with it. Use your paychecks however you want. Join a school club - one that you’re actually interested in. Do stupid shit. Light your textbooks on fire after graduation or go to the 24 hour Wendy’s at 2am with your friends or kiss that person you met at summer camp or sleep on the porch because it’s too hot to sleep inside. Be smart and safe, but follow your whims. If you let yourself fall into routine, apathy will poison you.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

I already have a couple small ones, but the one I want next is a four-leaf clover. Don’t know where. Maybe my right inner wrist or maybe an ankle. Or like behind my ear. Luck has saved me so many times. (See above, with how I happened to be living with family when COVID hit.)

40. What can you hear now?

Swamp cooler downstairs, the clock ticking in my office, cars outside, people moving around the house. I’m surprised the neighbor kids aren’t shrieking their absolute heads off as per the usual.

41. Where do you feel the safest?

When I’m alone and unobserved.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

TMI warning, but I absolutely despise public bathrooms. How am I expected to pee when there’s somebody sitting like three (3) feet away, with only a partial wall between us, hearing everything that’s going on? My fight or flight response simply will not allow it. It’s too awkward and therefore Not Safe. Either that public restroom has to be empty except for me, or it has to be so loud and bustling that ain’t nobody hearing anything. Anything in-between and I’m in hell.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

The ‘80s. Let’s be honest, even that far back makes my life (as a woman, and as a gay person) hella difficult. But, consider this: it’s the ‘80s. Furthermore, consider this: a part-time job might have actually supported me and paid rent back then 😱 Holy fucking shit. Sign me up. I just wouldn’t want to go any further than than like 1980, because again: lesbian. Being a woman in the past = even harder than it is today, being gay in the past = even harder than it is today, being a gay woman in the past = oh no.

44. What is your most used emoji?

In order of descending frequency:

😂🙄😊😁🤦🏼‍♀️👀😬🌈🤷🏼‍♀️😙

45. Describe yourself using one word.

Creative

46. What do you regret the most?

Wasting my entire teenage experience. (See #38.) I did quite literally nothing with my life except homework for like 18 years. If I had taken even a tenth as much time for myself as I did for school, I would be so much farther along as a person today.

47. Last movie you saw?

In the theaters? ........ uh. Shit, I don’t actually remember. It’s been like 5 months. (As it has for everyone.) But the last movie I watched was Lights Out, because I’ve been watching the director’s youtube channel. You could tell it was low-budget and that the director was still kind of finding his stride, but it had a lot of heart behind it and the creators clearly gave a fuck, which made it enjoyable. I am firmly in the camp of “not everything has to be a Magnum Opus or have a multi-billion dollar budget to be a good movie.” If I engaged with it and got some sort of emotional experience out of it, and if it had a good message, I consider it a good movie.

48. Last tv show you watched?

I don’t usually watch a whole lot of TV shows (who has the time?) but I think the last thing I watched was either The Witcher or that new Unsolved Mysteries miniseries on Netflix. Oh and I was watching Dead to Me because I just love Linda Cardellini’s face and I want to wrap Judy up in a blanket and cuddle the shit out of her and protect her from all things 🥺 My precious beautiful unstable sweet murder baby.

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning.

Apapanic. It’s where you’re so stressed about things that half of your brain is panicking but the other half is so overwhelmed that it circled all the way back around to being calm to the point of apathy, so you just kind of sit there like

#about me #tag game #except as usual i'm not gonna tag people because I don't have to social energy to ask people to do things #sorry i know that's kind of cheating #if you wanna overshare just say I tagged you lol #personal #tmi

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