#i can totally function on 7 hours of sleep!!

[chemicalarospec]

what if you said: I care about my intellectual development

but your brain said: you care about gay people more

[etherealrin]

✧₊⁺ thinking about nerd!karasu...

nerd!karasu who wears heavy rimmed glasses whenever he's in class or studying. though he wears contacts most of the time and whilst playing football, he houses a firm belief that wearing his glasses make him a better student.

nerd!karasu who accidentally becomes your academic rival after placing above you one too many times in the test rankings. it pisses you off how he's so good at analyzing your facials, knowing exactly how to press your buttons. and he wasn't even a psychology major!

nerd!karasu who's in love with anthropology and can occasionally be found on weekends sitting in random cafes near campus. according to him, he's "people watching."

nerd!karasu who needs a matcha latte every morning or else he cannot function at the 9 AM lectures he foolishly thought he could wake up for when he was doing course registration.

nerd!karasu who despite being known as "studious" somehow has time to be the star player of your university's football team, and a full time gym rat. does this man even sleep?

nerd!karasu who is often caught at the convenience store at stupidly late hours. one time you witnessed him microwaving a buldak carbonara inside of 7-11 at 3 am. why were you there? to get a red bull (so you could continue your all nighter.)

nerd!karasu who's keenly perceptive; he knows when you're feeling down. if he's feeling generous that day, he'll ask if you want to grab pastries together (when you're in a bad mood he almost always pays.)

nerd!karasu who during midterm and finals season is too tired and locked in to gel up his hair so you're blessed with the rare sighting of his raven colored locks falling naturally down his face. his bangs get into his eyes and he has to shake his head to clear them.

nerd!karasu who has this infuriating (hot) habit of lifting his shirt up to wipe his sweat in the too-warm lecture halls, giving everyone a glimpse of impeccable washboard abs. he winks when he catches girls staring.

nerd!karasu who's favorite subject is chemistry, which you happen to share with him. your professor had just assigned a month-long lab report that would total 20% of your semester grade, so you were really praying that your partner wouldn't be a complete bum. when karasu’s name and yours are called together, you're not sure whether to be relieved or distressed. on one hand, karasu was insanely smart. on the other, he was annoying, your number one competitor, and kind of beautiful. scratch that, he was majestic.

karasu wastes no time tracking you down after the professor is done, his smirk making you self-conscious.

"would ya look at that, sweetie. it's us two, again."

"yeah well, don't drag us down," you shoot back, rolling your eyes. you pretend he has no effect on you, that his deep eyes don't draw you in with a magnetic pull.

and maybe nerd!karasu had pure, academic intentions when he invited you to his room to work on the report. maybe he didn't mean to lean in too close, to flirtingly tease with you.

you're trying to type and he's making it impossible because he insists on "making sure you didn't mess up his pc settings." what that really entails is his hot breath on your neck as you attempt to finish up the document. karasu is staring shamelessly; you're trying not to think about any of it. you're in his room, sitting in his chair, with his things surrounding you—worst of all, he's way too close. every little spike of his purplish hair, you feel against your skin.

"you're turning red," he notes, peering at you through his black rimmed frames.

"maybe if you got off m- huh?"

karasu's pulling you in by the waist, expression unreadable and eyes shining with anything but the intent to do schoolwork.

"we're practically done now. i think that we should stop studying the reactivity of elements and start looking at attractivity instead."

a/n: karasu and his cheesy chem pickup lines…we've seen nerd!gojo but wb karasu!! even better bc imo this is so canon.

masterlist!!

[keoriwnch]

( ☕️ ) — MORNINGS: WERE MADE FOR YOU ── SAM WINCHESTER

summary! ── Sam Winchester is an annoyingly perfect morning person, and you are not. Waking up without him next to you is already a struggle, but when he tries to coax you out of bed with coffee and soft kisses, you realize maybe mornings aren’t so bad—at least, not when they start with him.

warnings! — Pure fluff and domestic softness,  Slight grumbling and playful bickering, Excessive amounts of Sam being sweet and smug,  One (1) threatening breakup that is immediately revoked.

notes! — Because Sam is totally the type to wake up at sunrise, go for a run, grab coffee, and then spend an hour reading before you even think about getting up. This is just self-indulgent fluff with sleepy cuddles, soft kisses, and the ongoing struggle of dating a morning person when you are not.

( ☕️ ) — WORD COUNT: 595

The first thing you notice is the absence of warmth. You reach out instinctively, your fingers brushing against empty sheets—still faintly warm, but missing the solid presence of Sam Winchester. You groan, rolling onto your stomach, burying your face into the pillow. It smells like him, hints of cedarwood and soap, and you’re tempted to fall right back into sleep. But the faint sound of pages turning and the occasional sip of coffee makes you crack an eye open.

There he is.

Sitting up against the motel headboard, long legs stretched out, a book balanced in one hand and a coffee cup in the other. His hair is a little messy, still damp from a shower you clearly slept through. The sight of him—relaxed, completely at ease—makes your heart squeeze in a way that’s almost unfair this early in the morning.

“You’re watching me again,” Sam murmurs without looking up, that small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

You huff dramatically, rolling onto your back and throwing an arm over your face. “Why are you like this?”

“Like what?” He finally sets the book down, turning his attention to you, amusement dancing in his hazel eyes.

You wave vaguely in his direction. “Up. Awake. Functional.”

Sam chuckles, shifting so he’s leaning over you slightly, his hand finding its way under the blankets to rest warm against your waist. “It’s not that early.”

You peek up at the clock. 7:13 AM. Gross.

“Mmm, nope,” you mumble, pressing your face into his side, feeling the soft fabric of his hoodie beneath your cheek. “Too early. Not happening.”

He sighs, though you can hear the smile in it. His fingers trace lazy circles over your hip, a silent, soothing rhythm that makes you melt further into him. “I already got breakfast,” he coaxes, his voice soft against the top of your head. “And coffee.”

You groan dramatically. “I should break up with you on principle.”

Sam chuckles, leaning down to press a slow, lingering kiss to your forehead. “You won’t.”

You sigh, shifting slightly to peek up at him. “How are you so sure?”

His smile softens, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Because you love me.”

You scoff, but your cheeks warm anyway. “That’s a bold assumption, Winchester.”

He hums thoughtfully, tilting his head as if considering. Then, before you can react, he leans down, pressing a feather-light kiss to the tip of your nose. Then another against your cheek. Then your jaw. Then your lips—slow, deliberate, as if he has all the time in the world.

Your breath catches, fingers curling into the fabric of his hoodie, and he grins against your lips like he knows exactly what he’s doing.

When he finally pulls away, his eyes are warm, filled with something so steady and sure it makes your chest ache in the best way.

“Okay, fine,” you admit, sighing dramatically. “Maybe I do love you.”

Sam chuckles, dropping another kiss to your forehead before moving to grab the coffee from the nightstand. He hands it to you with a smug smile, which you take with a grumble.

“That’s what I thought,” he murmurs, watching as you take a sip, the warmth of the drink chasing away the last remnants of sleep.

You narrow your eyes at him playfully. “One day, I will get you back for this.”

He smirks, leaning back against the headboard, effortlessly smug. “Looking forward to it.”

You grumble again, but secretly, you think mornings aren’t so bad after all.

Not when they start with him.

Thank you for reading! ─── I hope this story brought a little light and warmth to your day. If you enjoyed it, feel free to leave a note, reblog, or share your thoughts. Your feedback means the world to me and helps keep the magic of storytelling alive. Stay safe, be kind, and see you in the next tale. <3 - keori

[certifiedposeidonhater]

PERCY JACKSON HEADCANONS PART 4!! 💙💙

1. He has a list of everyone he has ever hurt, or killed. Nico is second on the list, right next to Bianca. Sally is first.

2. He gets scared and triggered when he accidentally spills or breaks something, even when it’s only him in his cabin

3. He has a lot of quiet moments and flashback where he just remembers all the wars, everyone who died.

4. He has nightmares about Bianca and Nico, and about Beckendorf and Silena

5. Immediately zones out whenever someone starts to yell at him. He can’t control it his emotions just automatically turn off.

6. Gets numb sometimes. His feelings just go away, it takes a while for them to turn back on and he hates that he can’t control it. Usually happens after a bad nightmare.

7. Really good at covering bruises and marks on his skin bc he had practice from G*be

8. He still flinches slightly whenever anyone raises their hand at him. It’s gotten better over the years, but you can still see it if you’re paying close attention.

9. DEFINITELY has high functioning depression

10. People nicknamed him Pretty Boy

11. He can sing really well but he is a STRICT shower/driving singer and he doesn’t sing around anyone else.

12. He can’t taste salt very well so he always orders extra salt on everything

13. He gets TERRIBLE migraines that take him out for whole days at a time

14. Everytime anyone makes a joke about how dumb he is, it actually rlly hurts him, but he’ll never bring it up

15. Cries silently cs he’s used to G*be getting mad at him for expressing emotions. He could be in a crowded room sitting RIGHT next to somebody and he could start crying and nobody would notice unless they were looking at him.

16. He loves kids but is scared to be a father bc of G*be and his dad

17. Percy doesn’t like chaos, even though he thrives in it. He appreciates routine.

18. He accidentally got involved in a drug ring when he was 8. I said this before but g*be would kick him out and there would be older guys wandering the streets, and it was better than being alone so he would hang out with them. But they were involved with some shady stuff so if he was around them, then HE was involved in that shady stuff.

19. He LOVES halloween. He goes all out and has the best decorations and costume every year.

20. Him and Grover have matching shark tattoos that they (illegally) got on Percy’s 14 birthday. They’re behind their ears. Percy somehow kept it from Sally until he was 16.

21. Nico nicknamed him “narcolepsy boy” after Percy once fell asleep in the middle of Piper and Drew screaming at each other.

22. More about the drug dealer stuff: he once got arrested. But before he could even call anyone, a random man bailed him out of jail, then mysteriously disappeared. That man definitely was not related to Triton in any way, shape, or form 😉😉

23. After Nico disappeared, Percy spent 4 days in bed because he was so exhausted and consumed with guilt he couldn’t muster the energy to get up.

24. Him, Silena, and Beckendorf once accidentally burned down one of the cabins. (It totally wasn’t the Apollo cabin. (They totally didn’t use greek fire. (And they DEFINITELY didn’t blame it on the Stolls.)))

25. Once when he was 6, he and his mom visited Montauk. They were hanging out by the beach when his mom went to go get more marshmallows for smores. Percy got distracted and started playing tag with a tiger shark that somehow ended up all the way at Montauk. They were missing for an hour, and when he reappeared, Sally was TERRIFIED. Percy convinced himself that the whole game of tag with the shark was a dream, then he found out who his father was, and realized that it wasn’t a dream.

26. has a very irrational love of the number 8. But his lucky number is the number -584. No one knows why. HE doesn’t even know why.

27. When he can’t sleep, he bakes. So once, when Percy was going through a really bad insomnia phase, he made 4 different cakes in one night.

28. Also bakes when he’s upset. Though, when he’s upset, his baking suddenly specializes in pies. After Apollo showed up and Percy fought the big statue thing, he made a bunch of pies. Sally brought them to work with her that monday, and there was enough for the whole congregation, and there was STILL leftovers.

29. Makes THE BEST bolognese ever. (He got the recipe from his mom.)

30. NEVER drinks water unless it’s the only thing he has. He will always drink soda or coffee.

31. Favorite soda is Dr Pepper, but he is a sucker for Shirley Temples.

32. Has a collection of different Dr Pepper t shirts.

33. Once ate a bag of glitter. It was blue.

34. Tore his esophagus open by throwing up.

35. When Annabeth first said “I love you” to him, he short-circuited and said “thanks.”

36. G*be acc did hurt Sally in front of Percy a few times when Percy was little, but it was so traumatizing and Percy was so young that his brain blocked it out and so he forgot about it until years late

37. Once fractured 3 of his ribs and didn’t notice until MONTHS later

okay hope you guys enjoy. Comment or ask me if you want a more thorough explanation on any of these!

[soapyghostie]

It's me again! Thanks for doing the last one. I LOVE Drayton, but finding content for him in general isn't very easy! Let's shake it up a little though. What's Michael Myers like when he's not killing people, just.. at home? Either with a (G/N) reader or on his own. (Maybe some before and after comparisons?) -☎️

Hey Anon! I’m so glad you liked it! This was so fun to write because Michael is one of my all time favorite slashers! Thank you! 🤗

Michael Myers

Michael Myers is a recluse. He likes to keep to himself most of the time and likes to be unbothered. When people bother him it pisses him off. That’s why he stalks and kills anyone who steps near or in his house. Take Laurie, for example, in the original movie; he basically only stalked her and attacked her because she stepped foot on his front porch. 

He is also a total homebody. He never steps foot out of his house unless he is going out killing or for his personal needs: food. 

He loves to spend time in Judith’s, his older sister’s, room and stare out the gigantic window in there, stalking people some more. Hey! He’s gotta make sure there are no intruders, okay? 

Michael is artsy. In his spare time, which he has a lot of spare time, he’ll create paper mache masks. He’ll create all different kinds of masks: creepy masks, animal masks, Mardi Gras masks. You name it! He’ll usually paint them. He has all sorts of different colors to paint his masks with. Michael has a pretty steady hand so his masks usually turn out pretty clean and painted with many different colors. 

This man never sleeps. The most sleep he’ll get in a day is 30 minutes to 3 hours. The amazing thing is that he functions just as fine as a normal human-being with 7 to 8 hours of sleep because I could never. 😓 During the night, he’ll lay in his bed, stiff as a rock, and stare at the ceiling. He’ll just listen to all the noise around him waiting for the front door to creak open to announce an intruder that will unfortunately never be seen again. 

Now when you came along, everything flipped upside down for Michael. At first he didn’t like all of the changes that came with living with someone, but over time it stopped bothering him. It even gave him a sense of comfort to know that someone loves and is willing to take care of him. 

Michael can’t cook for shit. While he was living on his own, he would steal a lot of fast food. I mean a lot. He also loves his sweets. He kept a bowl of sweets in one of the top cabinets in the kitchen. However, when you came along is when he had his first ever home cooked meal. After that he never ate fast food again. 

He follows you everywhere. Going to the store? He is across the street, stalking you. At work? You can see him peeking in at the closest window to your desk. Don’t be alarmed. He’s just making sure nothing happens to you. 

Michael likes to watch you sleep. Yeah. I agree. It’s creepy, but it’s Michael. What do you expect? He’ll stand in the corner of your bedroom and watch you the whole night. Again he is just trying to protect you. You know that people like to intrude into his house a lot right? 

You and him like to do movie nights. He’ll only watch horror movies though; anything else and he’ll leave. He especially likes gory horror movies. If you're scared, he may or may not let you hold onto him during jumpscares. 🙂

[froggerland]

You’ve probably heard by now but I just wanted to make sure you know that you can register free for virtual Terror Camp this weekend Dec 6-8! It’s a blast every year, lots of unhinged fandom plus really cool scholarship and amazing speakers

#Terror Camp

So sorry I totally overlooked this but thank you for the info!! Luckily I did see it before and registered, unfortunately I couldn't make it to a single "presentation" tho (cries in western/central european) (I could've stayed up but unfortunately I need 7-8 hours of sleep or I will not function properly)

I will watch most of the recordings tho once they're out and I will be very annoying about it probably

[exploredawhatifs]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @xottan for the tag!!! This beginner is humbled and honored that you'd think to tag me so ended up doing this instead of sleeping.

How many works do you have on ao3?

(4) in my heart; (6) according to ao3. The first (3) were meant to be one thing, but I didn’t know better. Thought a series would tie them together as one unit more than it actually did.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

157,510… I have mixed feelings about this. I love writers who have an economy of words so I suspect proper editing would cut that crazy number down, but I don't have a proper editing process.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Marvel Cinematic Universe and Sherlock with an eye towards some anime one day

4. Top five fics by kudos

By pure kudo count, the top three go to the three parts of the

For Appearance’s Sake series (Frostiron) followed by

The Doctor’s Choices (a Johnlock WIP) and

Bend Thee Aghast Challenge (a Frostmaster WIP)

but the kudo rank is nearly identical to the posting dates so with only a four month Ao3 career, I’m not sure kudos is a fair way to judge the work

5.Do you respond to comments?

I do now! @lokislonelylady helped me get over the initial comment response fear and I’m forever grateful. Writing and posting also gave me more confidence to leave comments for others’ works and @xottan was the first writer to respond at length. That was a game changer. I didn’t expect responses and still don’t, but it was nice to feel a connection (thank you!!), so now I make it a point to respond to any comments I get as soon as I can or at least before the next post. I don’t get many so it’s easy enough

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Angsty… maybe Unbinding (part three of that first series)? I was told the last part was a bit depressing before the comfort hit.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uh… only 2 works have an actual ending so far… but I suspect The Doctor’s Choices will be the happiest ending of what I have in the works.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not on the fics itself, not yet. More for not knowing what I’m doing, like tagging. The first version of tagging for For Appearance’s Sake series was a mess. Also for not understanding the ship I first ventured into. 

9. Do you write smut?

Ehm. Yes. Not sure that I'm particularly good at it, probably not but I only have one story that’s not explicit/dark, and that was just for a therapy assignment.

10. Craziest crossover?

None as of yet

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not yet. It’s early

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but that sounds cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet. I’ve never even had a beta reader… collabs sounds interesting. 

14. All time favorite ship?

Great question. This one is hard. It was Johnlock for a long time. I started reading in the MCU eight months ago, and the MCU has so many creative pairings that I’m just confused. That said, based on the various works in progress and ideas popping in my head, it must be Frostiron at the moment.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

None. This question prompted me to go fix what I hated about the wip and so, I'm good. I consider Fools’ Scheme a work in progress. Technically, it functions well enough as part 2 in the series in terms of moving the plot along, but considering the whole thing suddenly deviated to an emotional, happy ending, that middle part really needs some emotions massaged into make it work better with part 3, but emotionss are so hard.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’d love to say action with a bit of world building, but who knows? It’s hard to judge your own work, and based on the comments from the English professor in college… this ESL kid was barely understandable.

Realistically, the strength I can confidently talk about is speed. Based on the past four months, I average about 1200 words an hour when at a computer; 600 an hour on my phone (though to be fair, usually when I’m writing on the phone… I’m also supposed to be doing something else… like work). Makes me question my career choice (zero writing involved in my day job). With this writing speed, I really would have been making bang during Dickenson’s day where writers got paid per word.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Emotionsss. How other writers put emotions on paper is beyond me.  I do okay with fear and anger but the feels? like love and sadness? Absolute crap, and I don’t know that it will get better since the moment my writing starts down that path, I nope out of there so fast that I’m done writing for that day or it pours out of me in an unfiltered melodrama that I can't imagine anyone wants to read and I’m a wreck for half a week.

Other than that, choppiness. I focus so much on the action and plot that some of it comes out short and action, action, action without the why... this is especially true because my adhd has me jumping from scene to scene or even story to story as I write. Literally Johnlock for ten minutes, then it’s Frostmaster for a paragraph, jump to two separate Frostirons I have going on in the back, and a random Loki & Nebula that’s brewing before jumping back to Johnlock. =.=;;; my brain…

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Yesss. It would be fun to do it in the way Groot is handled in the MCU.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

MCU - Tony Stark/Loki, though it was without even understanding what Frostiron was. I must have read like five Tony Stark/Loki before jumping into writing an unplanned novel, and in all of them, Tony was pretty mean to some weak version of Loki. My fix was to make Loki a bit stronger so that he could send Tony to prison… turns out most people in Frostiron sees them together. Halfway through writing them, I suddenly realized why;;; They’re so alike.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It varies from moment to moment. Literally, it’s the fic I’m working on and since the last thing I typed is Let’s do ‘Just a slave’, (Thor & Loki) that is the one at the moment, even if it was a therapy assignment. 

It’s not representative of my usual stuff but I did manage to write it in a single sitting of three hours and found it fun, so I guess it counts.

***done!***

Well, that was interesting. More challenging and fun than I had imagined.

Tagging someone: I also tag @lokislonelylady, though, like @xottan says, no pressure. Don’t know if you can even write until you’re fully healed. Sending my love and gratitude either way! Honestly, there should be an amazing commenters’ version of this because @lokislonelylady , you brighten people's day with your comments! I have learned to comment just as much thanks to you.

And while there's really no reason anyone else will stumble on my tumblr, but if you do and you’re writer, consider yourself tagged! (if you want)

[feralkwe]

ship ask game. pre-relationship 5, general 10 and 12, + 7 and 10 for domestic? pick whatever ship you want lol

so i was gonna do a different ship, but you have an elidibus avatar, i have an elidibus avatar. let's not be coy. you are all gonna unfollow me if i don't get other interests soon.

let's go!

I - 5: what would their lives be like if they had never met?

this one is very funny to me, given that he's an essential part of the plot on at least three occasions and she functions to stop him in it. i imagine if they hadn't met, there wouldn't be much world left. tho, idk maybe she'd have survived it all and come out the other side of all the rejoinings fully intact. huh. wow. i have to think on that one a bit. ope.

II - 10: What are their parallels, whether in their personalities or their histories?

oh i love this one. idk who would ever sit and draw all the parallels between the wol and elidibus. that certainly could not be me. i would never think about the fact that they both consider their duty to the world the top priority even over the personal self. i absolutely spent zero hours thinking about how they both love the world enough to sacrifice everything to save it. and, if i'm honest, i've never noticed that they're both a little obsessed with one another over the course of their bizarre twists of fate.

i like to think meeting the wol in the past influenced elidibus as he went forward as warrior of light. kit certainly pressed onward to see the world saved in part because she knew what he sacrificed to give her that chance. i also h/c that kit being a warrior inspired him in his paladin form, but you're not here for my silly lore headcanons. i also think his choice to possess ardbert was strategic as part of that obsession.

for kit's part, she never really recovered from what she had to do in sos, which is a nice paper cut that pandae poured lemon juice all over.

II - 12: do they hide anything from each other, big or small?

before setting off to elpis, elidibus warned her that she could not use these little jaunts through time to change the events of the past or influence the future. so obviously when they meet for pandae, she doesn't tell him what she knows. right or wrong, it is a choice she made out of what she saw as a duty to the world. that's okay lol because he totally thought she believed his ruse too, right? those are equal things, for sure! so initially, yes, they were both keeping pretty big secrets. arguably hers is much worse.

i think in a world where they were allowed to be together that honesty would be a big thing. kit dislikes lies, and lying seems counter to the fundamentals of who themis/elidibus is. they will both do so out of necessity, but if we're dealing with a world that isn't tearing them apart and making them mortal enemies, no, i don't think they would hide anything from one another.

IV - 7: who worries the most?

oh, i'm pretty sure this yoke is bore evenly. it's just who they both are, imo. my god, will someone invent therapy?

IV - 10: who is more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

well that is a disgustingly cute question that is gonna take me back to that 'in perfect world where they actually get to be together' place. my initial gut was to say kit, because elidibus is too duty-bound, but uhhhh i established in fic that he considers her the one exception to always putting his duty first. him. it would be him. "just five more minutes to cuddle, pls. no, the convocation won't miss me. it's fine. i can be late. only nabriales will complain. he can go fuck himself."

i'm so cringe. please take me out back and shoot me.

thanks for the ask! i'm almost sorry i'm a one-trick pony right now. almost.

ship ask game questions here.

[dave-cobb]

LUCY LAVERICK HIRSCH, 5/10/40 - 7/11/24 My mother, Lucy Laverick Hirsch has passed away at 84. I was in the ER with her when she left us.

She developed extreme Osteoarthritis in her hips and shoulders and had been having mobility issues for the last six years, including a spinal compression fracture. These issues accelerated over last two years with her being unable to walk more than a short distance or stand without discomfort. On Friday, June 27th she woke in severe pain, unable to stand up or walk at all, and went to the ER who evaluated her physical condition and transferred her into a skilled nursing facility.

She was there for two weeks, with no change in her mobility. While her memory had been declining the last few years, it had been getting noticeably worse the last few months, with a sharp decrease in her mental acuity while in the skilled nursing facility. In the last few days, she’d also been fighting some sort of rapid chest infection, which is what ultimately made her body shut down completely on Thursday, July 11th 2024 at 12:44pm; she was heavily sedated and sleeping when her body finally succumbed.

Her passing was a release to her, definitly a burden lifted — it happened quickly, without pain or prolonged suffering.

Per Lucy’s wishes, there will be no memorial service. In lieu of flowers or condolences, we hope that her passing can shed light on and help de-stigmatize Borderline Personality Disorder — a mental health diagnosis that Lucy sadly rejected and unfortunately never sought treatment for. I truly believe she would have been happier had she been able to seek help. You can make a donation in her name to Emotions Matter, a non-profit resource for families impacted by BPD: https://emotionsmatterbpd.org

____________

Upon her passing, my feelings about her are, to say the least, complicated. Any grief I have about losing her was processed a long time ago, alongside a decade of therapy trying to understand and accept a mental illness that she denied and never sought treatment for. While I had managed to establish a boundary that enabled me to have a functional relationship with her, she was never the mother I wanted or needed. I have a lot of anger and resentment about her decades of emotional abuse; that’s not to mention her decades of serious financial irresponsibility as well, which was a burden to both of her husbands, and ultimately me. She had pushed pretty much everyone in her family away, spent all of her money, and I was the last man standing.

I’ve pushed through years of painful therapy to really understand that her behavior was largely beyond her control and came from a place of fear and deep depression. She was a very unhappy woman, who took out her unhappiness on the people closest to her, while putting on a happy, likable face to the rest of the world.

Jason and I have spent the past seven years trying to make sure she was safe and comfortable amidst her limited mobility, even amongst constant, ongoing patterns of gaslighting and lashing out. I had resigned myself over the last few years to hold both truths: that my feelings for her involve a lot of pain, and that she’s also a human being to whom I can offer grace and dignity as she passes.

It’s been awkward when people console me during all of this — I’m not particularly sad, and I feel pangs of guilt when people expect me to be sad. It’s too complicated to fill in all the blanks with people, so I am trying to be gracious. But it weighs on me.

She was completely sedated with her in the ER for about four hours. Hilarious side note: I put on a movie on the hospital room TV to pass the time until she was gone, thinking I picked something light and innocuous and dumb with A DOG’S PURPOSE — which was absolutely the wrong choice and I was a total sobbing mess but for all the wrong reasons? Forced catharsis perhaps? Regardless, the stupid dog movie helped.

Eventually I started softly whispering to her, “it’s okay, you can let go now, don’t be scared.” I gasped as I literally watched her vitals start to drop slowly as I kept talking to her softly and gently, encouraging her to move on. “You can let go now. It’s time.”

I even joked with her, “and you know, you were a total pain in the ass.”

I don’t believe in an afterlife — so I don’t mourn her loss, but instead mourn that she had a lifetime of pain and confusion. I mourn that I never truly had an authentic mother-son relationship, but rather had to craft myself into a theoretical “good son” version of me that fit her mercurial needs. I mourn not really having positive family memories with her, but only ongoing drama and heartache that, as the “good son”, I often had to placate and soothe.

As I kept speaking to her softly and watched her vitals nearing zero, I said “I hope you can find peace.”

I truly hope that my mother actually heard me and somehow found peace when she passed.

I know I finally have.

[dianagj-art]

Hello again!

I did this lil silly survey a long while ago :)

I wanted to ask if you would mind to answer a few of my questions again :3

If not, that's totally fine! No pressure!

How many hours do you sleep per night?

How many hours are enough to get through the day and how many are a lot for your standard?

Is caffein (in any form) part of your morning routine or your 'last resort'?

How do you feel over the day before and after consuming caffein (if you consume any)?

For example: sluggish, foggy, awake, exhausted, grumpy, just tired, etc.

Thank you a lot for (maybe) participating!

If you want, I can add you when I post the results, but I can also leave you out :)

hiii!!!

-8 or 9 in a good day

-If you mean minumum hrs to function like 4, but to actually feel good enough to do stuff with 7-8 hrs. I dont have "too much for my standar" bc I love to sleep and sometimes I sleep up to 12 hrs on weekends

-Coffee is not my morning routine, but is my mom's and I like how it tastes so, if she makes some I also get some

-It doesnt really affect how I feel trought the day

I love these little surveys so pls do tag me<3

[potterandpromises]

sorry for not winning you an arcade ring: chapter 8

Mabel and Theo spend the morning together. [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7]

Also on AO3

(Picks up the morning after the last chapter.)

With a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, Mabel leaves her room in search of water.

Theo's curled up on the couch, facing inward, all too vulnerable for this building. She watches him for a beat too long.

He stirs. Her cheeks redden.

She opens the fridge and checks behind a container of leftovers for something cold, briefly considers the gut milk. 13% alcohol. It could still be a hangover cure, right? maybe? No sense chancing it, though. She's getting married tomorrow. The rehearsal is today. 48 hours from now, it'll all be over, the killer brought to justice.

(Unless something goes horribly wrong, of course.)

Mabel had sort of forgotten how last night ended: alone, fitful, embarrassing. Theo said something to her, a mystery for after the mystery is solved. The online English-to-ASL dictionary she uses has a reverse search function. She'll start there, investigate her two hunches: playful insult, or endearment.

She fills a glass of water, drinks it down, fills it again.

Behind her, Theo groans, eases himself off the couch.

They lock eyes and his unguarded neutrality turns to sheepishness. She won't ask, not today.

She sets her glass down on the counter. “Good morning," she signs.

“Good morning.”

"You can..." She gestures vaguely in the direction of the fridge and pantry.

He nods, and it's only a little awkward. She meant what she said: after tomorrow, she'll stop asking him for unreasonable favors that lead to him sleeping on her couch in his blue jeans. (But, her brain helpfully reminds her, he could have simply rode the elevator six floors down. It wouldn't have been hard. Or they could have shared; she wouldn't have minded. Unfortunately.)

She starts the coffee. Theo shuffles around her, his hair still ruffled from sleep. She's got to stop letting her gaze linger too long. Or not. Maybe she doesn't have to.

He pours himself a bowl of cereal. She sips her coffee; burnt.

“Do you ever think,” she starts tentatively, “about what it would have been like if we’d been friends as kids?”

He looks at her for a long moment, expression totally unreadable, which is rare for him. “Z-O-E would still be dead.” Her chest tightens. “I think.”

“I’m not talking about Z-O-E.”

Mabel’s wondered, more then once, if they could have been friends back then. She knew who he was, sort of, saw him trailing behind his father. Her aunt informed her of his deafness and she had not considered friendship a possibility, had almost not thought of him at all.

They’d had more in common then they could have known. Mabel and Tim solving mysteries, Theo living out a conspiracy. The Hardy Boys breaking into their neighbors’ apartments while Theo stole from the dead. Or, she realizes, he probably did know those things about her.

As a kid, as a teenager, she'd been an awful detective. She'd never imagined, even in the safety of storytelling, that something unusual and dangerous had been going on in his life.

If she had known, had figured it out or been told in some alternate life, what then? Could even just the second half of the tragedy been prevented? The truth is, if they'd gotten in each other’s way like her and Tim did, she doesn’t think she would have had the patience to either learn ASL or communicate in other ways. Maybe it takes being 29 to really know each other. That’s a cold comfort.

"I don't think we’d be here." Theo spoons cereal into his mouth, chews thoughtfully.

“We don’t know that.”

“No, we don’t.” But he gives her a long look that suggests high confidence in his guess.

Of course she would prefer a universe where Zoe did not fall and Oscar did not go to prison, either because Theo never crossed paths with any of the Hardy Boys or because he was one of them. (Somehow, she does think that would have made a difference, through the power of friendship or some such bullshit.) She would take her resurrections, Zoe and Tim, over this new relationship. But the thought carves a pit in her stomach and no one's offering a trade.

She pours herself a bowl of the same cereal Theo’s eating, and sits down across from him.

This can’t be it. This can't be almost over.

[cosmoshard]

Hello again!

I did this lil silly survey a long while ago :)

I wanted to ask if you would mind to answer a few of my questions :3

If not, that's totally fine! No pressure!

How many hours do you sleep per night?

How many hours are enough to get through the day and how many are a lot for your standard?

Is caffein (in any form) part of your morning routine or your 'last resort'?

How do you feel over the day before and after consuming caffein (if you consume any)?

For example: sluggish, foggy, awake, exhausted, grumpy, just tired, etc.

Thank you a lot for (maybe) participating!

If you want, I can add you when I post the results, but I can also leave you out :)

Hmm lets see~

hours per night is usually around 7-9, 9 is perfect amount, 7 is functional, 11 is excessive but only happens in times of sleep deprivation. I’ve survived off of 5 hours before but I can only do that for a couple days before I crash completely.

coffee or caffeine in general is usually a last resort for me, I prefer tea with less caffeine and more flavor options :3 green tea and earl grey are my favs✨

Caffeine is interesting, I don’t experience any hyper energy at all, its more like someone driving over a bumpy road and sliding everywhere, and then after caffeine its like a newly-paved road. Smooth sailing. My mind is reined in and I can finally focus. Unfortunately it only lasts a couple hours before I feel even MORE tired then before😭 I will take a nap after coffee crashes and this is coming from someone who cannot physically nap on a whim.

Thank u for the questions! I love to info dump my weird analysis’s on people :3 u sleep well and have a chaotic good day!

[djpachipikachu]

Hello again!

I did this lil silly survey a long while ago :)

I wanted to ask if you would mind to answer a few of my questions :3

If not, that's totally fine! No pressure!

How many hours do you sleep per night?

How many hours are enough to get through the day and how many are a lot for your standard?

Is caffein (in any form) part of your morning routine or your 'last resort'?

How do you feel over the day before and after consuming caffein (if you consume any)?

For example: sluggish, foggy, awake, exhausted, grumpy, just tired, etc.

Thank you a lot for (maybe) participating!

If you want, I can add you when I post the results, but I can also leave you out :)

woag im part of a sleep study how exciting

1. how many hours do you sleep per night?

per night it varies a Lot ,,, most of the time it seems to be 6-7 hours but i often only sleep 4-5 hours or go 9-11 hours when im given the time

2. how many hours are enough to get through the day and how many are a lot for your standard?

5-6 hours are Enough for me but not like . really well functioning , and a lot would be 9+ hours bc i feel groggier with that much sleep , either way im usually very sleepy no matter what shrugs

3. is caffeine a part of your morning routine?

caffeine doesn’t do anything for me usually so no i dont rly have it

4. how do you feel after consuming caffeine?

i usually feel lightheaded or dizzy

i dont mind being included in the results💪💪 i hope this helps :]

[sewercrocodileart]

Hello again!

I did this lil silly survey a long while ago :)

I wanted to ask if you would mind to answer a few of my questions again :3

If not, that's totally fine! No pressure!

How many hours do you sleep per night?

How many hours are enough to get through the day and how many are a lot for your standard?

Is caffein (in any form) part of your morning routine or your 'last resort'?

How do you feel over the day before and after consuming caffein (if you consume any)?

For example: sluggish, foggy, awake, exhausted, grumpy, just tired, etc.

Thank you a lot for (maybe) participating!

If you want, I can add you when I post the results, but I can also leave you out :)

1.- I sleep between 7 and 9 hours now! (better than the 2 hours I used to sleep because bad dreams)

2.- I'm functional with 5hrs at least! 10hrs is much for my standards plus having naps, is strange for me

3.- No, I don't like drink caffeine when I wake up, I have all the energy I need when I see the sun on the sky jajaja!

Tough I try it when I was studying, doesn't work to wake me up, end more sleepy and with my face on the middle of the street xD

4.- Of the times I try, before just sleepy, after I end more sleepy, tired and more grumpier than usual

And yes please! Want to see the results!

[stephuart]

Hello again!

I did this lil silly survey a long while ago :)

I wanted to ask if you would mind to answer a few of my questions again :3

If not, that's totally fine! No pressure!

How many hours do you sleep per night?

How many hours are enough to get through the day and how many are a lot for your standard?

Is caffein (in any form) part of your morning routine or your 'last resort'?

How do you feel over the day before and after consuming caffein (if you consume any)?

For example: sluggish, foggy, awake, exhausted, grumpy, just tired, etc.

Thank you a lot for (maybe) participating!

If you want, I can add you when I post the results, but I can also leave you out :)

-I roughly get around 6-7 hrs of sleep. I go to bed at 1am then get up at 8am for work. I have insomnia so I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back to sleep.

-During my college years, I ran on 2-3 hrs of sleep, now I need at least 5 to be able to function.

-8+ hrs is too much for me, my brain will not allow me to sleep that much.

-I get migraines so I stay away from the stronger stuff like Coffee, Tea, and Energy drinks. But if I really need a boost I just get a soda or eat some chocolate. Not really the best way to start the day, but rather be tired than risk getting a migraine.

- Even with a little energy boost I still usually feel tired, not sleepy just tired.

And go ahead and use this for your post.

[jacazull]

Hello again!

I did this lil silly survey a long while ago :)

I wanted to ask if you would mind to answer a few of my questions again :3

If not, that's totally fine! No pressure!

How many hours do you sleep per night?

How many hours are enough to get through the day and how many are a lot for your standard?

Is caffein (in any form) part of your morning routine or your 'last resort'?

How do you feel over the day before and after consuming caffein (if you consume any)?

For example: sluggish, foggy, awake, exhausted, grumpy, just tired, etc.

Thank you a lot for (maybe) participating!

If you want, I can add you when I post the results, but I can also leave you out :)

Hi again!! I remember you!!! ^^

I totally don't mind~

Hmmmm I wanna say I average at 7 hours, sometimes 6 or 8.

My body literally can't function with less that 5 hours of sleep or I'll be like a zombie. Knowing I have to work and be on my feet usually keeps me going until I get back home.

10 hours or more feels like a lot, my body doesn't let me sleep more than that in one sitting lol.

Caffeine doesn't particularly energize me (it almost puts me to sleep sometimes), so it's not a part of a routine or last resort. I just like the flavor. Energy drinks are also way too sweet for me, so I don't touch those. If I play with a little fidget I can keep myself from yawning though!

I hope this helps your findings!!