#i can read ABOUT g.i. joe though

[kryptonbabe]

Yeah, Transformers are cool and all, there's no way I won't enjoy reading about post-biological alien creatures in a perpetual conflict over their system of beliefs, but I'm sorry Hasbro nothing will make me read or watch G.I. Joe, that's where I draw the line, nothing more joyless to me than the military

[gnome-adjacent-vagabond]

Psst hey *pulls you closer* Canon middle-aged queer relationships and multiple canon queer/queer-coded characters. *lets you go* Go watch Venture Bros.

There are WAY more than these but I can't put em all up here because queer coding is up to interpretation. I say that everyone in Venture Bros is queer until proven straight but that's just me.

I wrote a whole-ass essay and then accidentally deleted it so the wording on this will probably be off, but it feels important so I'm gonna try be succinct.

Minor spoilers ahead! Skip paragraph three if you don't want those, then resume on paragraph four.

Full disclosure, this is a show that started in the early 2000s and has a LOT of issues in the first few seasons as well as a couple in the later seasons. There are transphobic and homophobic jokes, ableism, racism, and sexism. Sergeant Hatred is a walking trigger warning for about three seasons straight. It goes without saying but I'll say it anyway: DON'T watch this show if you have multiple triggers or are easily offended.

Having said that, these writers realized the problems with what they were writing and have worked to remedy those issues through commentary, retconning, and public acknowledgement of the early seasons' failings. Their opinions evolve and so does the show.

Shore Leave is a flamboyantly gay man who was initially intended to be a one-off joke about the G.I. Joe series and the Village People. Instead he has morphed into a three-dimensional character who presents comfortably as both masculine and feminine. He's in a loving relationship with another gay man, Al, who is flamboyant but tends to be a little less flashy. Steve Summers and Sasquatch have been a happy couple for years now--and all because the epitome of toxic masculinity, Brock Samson, helps them find a quiet cabin away from the government hunting them. Brock's mentor, Hunter Gathers, is a canonically detransitioned trans woman who struggles with her identity throughout the show (I'm still waiting for her to retransition despite the show's cancellation). Hank is perfectly at ease in a hyperfeminine strength suit, and Dean also goes through identity struggles that are never played for laughs and are heavily if not explicitly queer-coded. Vendata's queerness is understated and exists simply as a fact rather than being joked about. Sky Pilot is similar, though slightly more in Shore Leave's camp in terms of presentation. Sheila and the Monarch are self-proclaimed swingers and could be read to be in a poly relationship with Gary, their henchman. Debbie St. Simone has a rather homoerotic obsession with Sheila and is almost definitely bisexual.

The Venture Bros universe is full of queer rep, and the creators of the show write it in with intention. Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick talk about wanting it to be treated as fact rather than completely defining each of their characters--they talk about how few women are in the show and why (Johnny Quest and G.I. Joe, the inspirations for Venture Bros, are heavily malecentric and there's constant homoeroticism in them for that reason). They acknowledge the flaws and work to improve themselves and their writing. This has culminated in a surprisingly moving series about love, death, grief, trauma, and change that radiates queer subtext from any angle--especially Dean's journey.

Try the show at least up to season 4. The first three seasons are on Netflix and the rest are on Adult Swim. If you still don't like it, that's fine. Thank you for trying! Just know that it's out there and that it's an example of how human beings can change and become better people. Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick aren't perfect and neither is the Venture Bros, but for what it is it's a damn fun (shockingly so) show.

[snickerdoodie]

“Sugar and Spice”

Summary: Everyone knew Jake Seresin was a charismatic player. Whether it was flirting with girls at the bar or charming his way out of any situation. But what happens when the blond pilot finally meets his match?

Pairing: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x f!reader

A/N: hey guys..I’m not even gonna lie I completely forgot to post this lmao, I got a liiittle busy with everything and it completely went over my head. But here it is! Finally! After two months. This also isn’t proof read, per usual, so sorry if anything sounds off. Enjoy!

Jake’s chatting along with Rooster and the gang when the door suddenly chimes open, taking a quick glance as any human would, but what he sees isn’t what he’s expecting. In comes you, dressed up in a simple white tank top and probably the shorted daisy dukes he’s ever seen, not that he’s complaining though . His eyes rake over your body before he travels further upward, smirking to himself when you accidentally make eye contact. Giving him a nod and a classic small smile, you make your way over to the bar, soon getting into a quick conversation with Penny.

“Well I’ll be damn,” He says into his beer, taking a long sip before wiping his lips with a grin. That causes Rooster to quirk a brow at the unexpected comment.

“What’s up with you? Find a new pair of tits to ogle at?” He quips, noticing Hangman’s intense stare across the room. Seresin shrugs, a smirk still plastered on his handsome face.

“‘Could say that. Could also say I might have just found myself my girl tonight.” And with that, Hangman scoots himself out of the booth he was sitting in and makes his way across the room, gaze dead set on you sitting at the bar, drink in hand. He ignores the unwanted calls and shouts narrowed to him from his friends, too caught up in his next words. Taking a seat on the empty stool next to yours, leering on your exposed skin before continuing.

“Hey there, what’s a pretty thing like you doin’ here sittin’ by yourself?” You turn your head to the sound of the voice, not even hearing him come up beside you. At first, you do a once over at the man, taking in his striking green eyes and Hollywood smile. Then you take notice in his uniform, his sunglasses perched on the fold of his shirt. Must be one of those pilots you keep hearing about. Turning your upper half to him, you smile.

“Doesn’t seem like I’m sitting alone now, does it?” You quip back, setting your drink down on the countertop. The man’s smirk grows wider as he rests an elbow on the wood.

“Aw, no need to thank me, just doin’ what’s needed of me.” You just now realize his country accent, standing out in certain phrases; it makes you fight back a blush. You raise a brow nonetheless.

“Is that so? Did you magically think I wanted you here, Blondie?” You know he wasn’t expecting the nick name when his brows raise for a split second before shooting back down to their original places.

“Eh, I don’t need’a think, I just know by heart. Y’know, with my magical powers ‘n all.” He imitates quotations at the end of his sentence. You huff out a laugh at his words, eyes cascading down to your watered down drink. Taking a sip, you focus your attention back onto the man in front of you. That stupid grin still plastered on his lips.

“Well can your magical powers tell you the name of the lady you decided to make your next target?” It came out a bit harsher than you intended, almost regretting your words. Truth is, you *were* enjoying his company and that southern drawl of his. He honestly was making your night a bit better than just sitting there alone, drowning in your drinks and mind while some overplayed Toby Keith song played on the jukebox.

“I’m afraid that’s somethin’ I can’t do. Care to help me out here?” Relieved he didn’t say anything about your earlier statement, you bite your lip with a smile, nodding.

“(Y/N),” you state, almost missing the way his eyes light up more at your declaration. “What about you, G.I. Joe? Got a name to the face?”

“As a matter of fact I do, gorgeous. Most people call me Hangman but I’ll make a special case and let you call me yours.” He winks with that cheshire grin. You fight back both a blush and a large smile this time at the cringy and overused line.

“Is that so?”

“I’d sure so hope so, ma’am.”

You both stay silent as you stare at each other. While you bite the inside of your cheek, he scoots himself closer to you, knees brushing against each other. You can smell his sandalwood cologne and the beer he’d been drinking previously before coming up to you. Hangman notices your lack of response and licks his lips, eyes flickering from your glass to your hair then to your lips before continuing.

“Tell ya what, sweetheart” he starts, catching your attention, “You name the game. If I win, you’re buying me dinner. But if you by some miracle manage to beat me, you won’t have to endure my charming company ever again.” He finishes, looking very confident in his proposition. You tilt your head and fully face your body towards him, your legs scooting between his as he widens his stance to make room. You swear you could have seen his adam’s apple bob harshly at the movement but you payed no mind.

You narrow your eyes slightly before a small smile stretches across your lips. With the confidence that this man passed on, you carefully lean forward so your palms are resting against his firm thighs. Bracing yourself as you lean in closer. Hangman bites his lip before tilting his head down, his chest heaving in a breath before he speaks,

“You gonna take up on that offer, darlin’?” He drawls out, voice raspy, almost sultry. You look him in the eyes as you lightly squeeze his skin, his smirk growing.

“Y’know what? I will, s’not like I’ve got anything to lose now is there, cowboy?”

I also tried to make my format for my fics a little more..interesting looking. I felt like they’re too boring so tell me your thoughts. Feel free to comment if you liked or disliked something! :)

[znivlho]

Out of jealousy.

pairing : storm shadow x male reader

genre: smut to fluff

cw: NSFW 18+, rough sex, anal, oral, rimming, riding, blowjob, creampie

anon's request :

i wish to request please! I've been good crazy for Storm Shadow since the first G.I Joe movie and i quiet have this thought in my mind(i think it'll be quiet long, I'm sorry) so the Reader is one of student in Arashikage clan (most likely like Snake Eyes) him and Storm Shadow had a great relationship, they trained together, studied together, hang out together. The reader was a place for him to come back whenever he get upset or his jealousy toward Snake Eyes flaring.

Storm shadow developed liking for the reader while reader remain think of it as friendship(well, they were a children back then). So when the Hard Master died and Storm Shadow left, he felt betrayed, angry, in pain both from the grief for Hard Master and abandonment by Storm Shadow. But different from other, the reader don't believe the accusation that was thrown to his 'friend'.

Back to current time, the reunion of this two happened, and of course it's full of fight with Reader end up getting kidnapped by Storm Shadow. Other hostages was put in cells while reader was put in his private quarters by request of Storm Shadow himself because the liking he developed in his childhood seem turn to something more (cough obsession cough). So yeah, the confrontation happened and something snapped in him and Storm Shadow end up fucking him hard and rough. I thinking Storm Shadow the type that will leave mark in every spot and places on reader, outside and inside.

This is my request, I'm sorry if it's so long but i appreciate it a lot if you write it 🙏🏻🥲

~

i love this request so much that i had so many ideas on how to write it, thank you so so much anon, please accept this emoji ⭐️ as a gift and please use it if youll request again🙏

NSFW 18+, read at your own risk.

you suddenly woke up, blinking your eyes open as you stare at the ceiling with a dim light open. where are the others? why are you even laying down on a bed while the others fight? is it over?

many thoughts lingered to your mind as you looked around the room, but then you saw a familiar figure beside you, staring at you with those fierce eyes of his. those eyes who you missed to look at every single day since you were kids.

"storm..?"

you called out, seeing your childhood friend who wore an white shirt along with a short sitting on the floor beside you, but you can feel his eyes stare at your soul. you were frozen on the spot, he was now infront of you, the man who you waited in your whole entire life since he left.

"w-where have you been?? youre all grown up.."

you sat up as you asked worriedly about him, seeing him after many decades that you though he was dead. the last words turned into a whisper as you slowly reached your hand to his cheek.

"why did you left..?"

you spoke up, you have many questions in mind about him. but he kept quiet, suspiciously quiet while staring at you with those eyes of his that you cant explain what is it express.

"why are you with snake eyes?"

he finally spoke up, but not the question you expect. you cant explain to him, how you were with the man he hated so much since he show up just for him to be replaced and the hard master left him out like he never existed.

you were also caught by snake eyes. the more the latter has been hanging out with you the more you and storm became distant.

"i.."

you slowly pulled your hand away from his cheek, but he suddenly and swiftly pulled you closer to him that your faces almost touched.

"why?"

his grip around your wrist tighten, his eyes were fiercely staring straight into your soul. he wasnt like this before, he changed a lot.

you looked away, trying to look away from that stare that you thought it would gouge your eyes out if you kept looking at him.

well, thats a wrong move for you to make.

his hand went up to your chin as he agressively pulled you closer, his lips connected to yours hungrily that he craved it for a very long time. his hand pushed you down to the bed on your back agressively, pouring out all of his anger that he take up back then.

his tongue went straight into your mouth, exploring each corner and crevice he can feel inside. biting your bottom lips hardly until it bleeds, making you whine in pain. his teeth captured your tongue, biting it hard enough that it left a mark that was gushing out blood.

you were in pain but it felt too good. you cant understand why you cant stop what he was doing to you even though it hurts that you gave in. the more he kissed you hungrily and agressively, the more you got used to it and the more you became more desperate.

his hands roam around your body, ripping the fabric that was on his way to your skin. the both of his hands felt your body for the first time in many decades he wished he would touch, roaming around like it was looking for something.

your body was fit to his own hands, muscular yet so tiny beneath him. holding your waist with both of his massive hands make him feel so satisfied, he cant choose which part of your body was his favorite but instead he would pick all of it.

he leaned away but then he started attacking your neck like his life was depending on it, so desperate he had to mark every inch he touches with bite marks and hickeys. most bites were hard and deep that he made it slightly bleed on purpose, sucking it after till it was swollen then move to a next skin he would find. he wouldnt leave an inch without his mark and he didnt care if people sees it, he wants everyone to know.

meanwhile, you were a mess below him. whimpering and moaning at every action he made that made you feel pleasure, sweat dripping down along with strands of hair curled around your forehead. you never thought that you needed this, that it was that thing that made you feel pleasure for the first time.

he leaned away as he looked at you full with swollen marks and hickeys around your neck down to your collarbone and ended to your chest, your hair all messed up to the pillow as you look at him with those desperate eyes of yours made him turn on so much.

but he still not satisfied with the marks he made, and he would love to put more around your skin.

he leaned down to your chest, playing with your nipples that are desperate for touch, he sucked on it like a newborn who seeks for their mother's milk.

it was the sensitive part of your body, your voice betrays you as you let out questionable moans. even though he cant see your full face, he was satisfied with those sounds that went through his ear like music.

he bit down both of your nipples, making it both have the same mark as it pops up swollen up from his sucking. he went down to your lower torso, your fine toned body was perfect to him he cant stop marking at it.

he then suddenly leaned into your head again as he lifted you up, making you lie down on your stomach while his hard breathing was loud next to your ear.

"mh.. ive been waited for so long.. look what you did to me.."

he huskily whispered to your ear as he leaned his hips to your ass, making you feel how he was hard beneath the cloth he was wearing.

just by feeling it make you jolt by how long it was, how you felt it twitching in the fabric as it touches you.

"seeing you with snake eyes makes me dissapointed, and angry.."

he continued whispering while his hands do the job to pull away the pants youre wearing, his lips biting your ear till it was swollen.

"do you like that bastard?"

he asked as he gripped down tightly on your hair, making you throw back your head just for him to see.

you didnt answer, you cant even for a single word. you can sense he was mad angry inside unlike the emotions he was showing.

he scoffed after not hearing any response from you as you felt a tip aligned to your aching hole.

without any warning, he shoved inside his throbbing cock to you without any lube, any preperation, just straight filling your insides up.

you screamed at the sudden movement, the pain aching around you especially inside. he didnt even move yet but his tip was hitting your prostate.

he whispered to your ear once more as he started thrusting into you hardly and aggressively, hitting your spot every thrust as you felt your insides will tear apart when this continues.

"ill ask that later."

you cant hide your moans, it was getting loud from time to time and he really liked it. seeing you a mess down below him makes him satisfied.

he picked up his pace as you were reaching your climax, his hand held your throbbing cock, teasing its tip as he suddenly matched the pace betwwen his thrusts and his hand going up and down to your throbbing cock.

you cried out a moan as you came, him following not a long after. you catched your breath for a while, but he suddenly flipped ypu together so that hes below you.

he pushes you up to sit while his cock still inside you, making you whimper by the movement as his cum drips down from your aching hole.

"that was just a warmup, (name)."

he whispered to your ear as his hands gripped down to your hips as he raised you up from his cock, then suddenly slammed you down.

earning a loud moan from you, he then continues the agressive and hard pace for a long time..

not only did he cum twice, for 6 rounds he took you in.

{bonus}

after taking care of you, let you wore his fresh clothes, changed the sheets, let you drank water, he crawled in the bed to you as his head rested on your lap.

your hands quickly move to his cheek as you caressed it, moving away his hair that was blocking his face as you leaned on the headboard.

"you know, i-" "we'll talk about that tomorrow."

you cut him out as your eyes were closed as you continued to caress his cheek, only for him to fall asleep quickly.

[birindale]

Hi I just wanted to double check something I am pretty sure I read on this blog. Is the origin of C'yra of D'riluth iii from the original cannon or was it a later addition? Also what does "of D'riluth iii" actually mean? I remember there being some vagueness to what it means

Okay there's a long version and a short version of this story.

Short version: It was a later addition. In 2008 Mattel launched a toy line called Masters of the Universe Classics, which could only be ordered through their website and was aimed at the collector market. One of the things they did was include "character bios" in a sort of homage to the G.I. Joe toys of the 80s, which featured 'personnel files' that gave specializations and a brief character history, including their real names (e.g. Duke was actually named Conrad S. Hauser).

Catra's figure was released in 2011 for about $65 USD. Her bio (which I've lifted from a Poe Ghostal review) is as follows:

We (I, and my friends whom I've pestered for opinions) are pretty sure D'Riluth III is the name of her planet, even though another planet in the same solar system (from the New Adventures of He-Man in the 90s) has the Arabic numeral 7, so including Roman numerals is a strange choice.

Long version: There was a fellow working for Mattel at the time named Scott "Toyguru" Neitlich, and he was (and remains to this day) exceptionally bad at things like 'writing' and 'creativity'. He was never very interested in She-Ra, though he loves to tell the story of stealing his sister's doll one year, so to him Catra is simply an agent of the Horde... which, in order to adhere to the 2002-2003 tv show, was now 5,000 years old. This bio directly contradicts the Filmation canon of Catra's mask having belonged to the Magicat queen, for instance, and introduces a number of confusing details.

One of the least popular was Adora being Hordak's "step-daughter" instead of his "adopted daughter", which was already kind of a gray area since he didn't exactly raise her. Scott digging in his heels on the matter was actually how I learned he'd written the thing in the first place:

Now you may be wondering, jeez, it's pretty confusing and the writing isn't great but aren't you being kind of harsh? Surely the push-back from the He-Fans was bad enough. Well give me a minute, dang. This is the long version!

I reached out to him about a year and half ago to ask 1. How it's pronounced, 2. If he could confirm that D'Riluth III is the planet, and 3. If he remembered how he came up with it. He told me the following:

Some backstory here--Scott runs a bit of a one-man content farm, in an effort to avoid paying hosting fees for advertisements or actually engaging in SEO. He is a marketing consultant.

He used to upload a 5-10 minute video every day, but shortly after I contacted him that dropped to only five a week, and his weekly "Director's Commentary" videos about MOTUC figures that he worked on (largely just explaining who the character even is in an unedited stream of consciousness, as his videos became slideshows of google images) moved to bi-weekly.

I was like, okay, he left Mattel in 2014 right? So surely once he's through that year he'll get to this new series.

Nope! He's doing 2015 too! So I reached out again in January, just to like. See if he was still intending to cover the 'real names', which imo should have been part of his commentary to begin with, but...

He had forgotten <3 I explained no, I was asking about these specific questions that I had outlined in my first email (I had replied to his last message in the chain for simplicity's sake), and he just said he'd be doing it soon. So I was like oh, cool, do you know if you'll be doing one a week still? since that would put a Catra video about 4 years out as he does them in release order, and he then promised he'd get to it soon and didn't answer the question.

Annoying, certainly, but whatever. Unless one of us dies horribly I can wait it out, right?

WRONG.

Scott, being an idiot, has not credited a single one of the images he lifted from google over his four years of mostly-daily slideshows. And recently, somebody fucking noticed!

So this guy--Ethan Wilson, a very talented toy photographer and reviewer--was informed that Scott (in his capacity as Spector Creative, the name of his YouTube channel/consulting business) had been using his pictures in videos. Actually, let me use Ethan's own words here:

I decided to dig a little deeper into Spector’s channel, and found 81 instances of my photos being used in 68 of the channels videos.  None of these featured credit to me for use of the photos, and 48 of the 81 instances removed or obstructed my watermarks.

-About This Spector Creative Thing

I very strongly encourage you to read through this linked post, as it gets worse! Somehow!!

Scott, not noticing these as they came in over the course of 10 days, logged in to discover his channel had been taken down. He emailed Ethan in something of a panic to ask that Ethan reverse the claims as a 'professional favor', as Scott got all his clients through his channel's "advertising".

Now you're never gonna believe this... but when he and Ethan came to an understanding, suddenly Scott didn't give a shit.

He released a libelous video claiming Ethan had no rights to the images (he does) and that Scott could use them all he wanted because of Fair Use (he can't) and emailed Ethan the following.

First of all: this is bullshit. Copyright is automatic in the US, trademark wouldn't apply regardless, and as Scott should fucking know by now Ethan doesn't have a 'channel', he has a blog.

Second, he shot himself in the foot with the Fair Use defense by outright stating that his channel is his exclusive advertisement for his business and that he depends on his content to make a living. He said in his first video that it was "educational" 🙄

So Ethan realized Scott was a Fucking Liar and decided he should just copyright claim the rest of Scott's shit, in order to protect his images and rights thereto. YouTube can't take the channel down again unless Ethan is willing to pursue legal action--which he isn't, because he has a full time job and two kids and even though he'd probably win, it's a lot of time and energy.

I and a few others were trying to convince him that it would be worth it anyway, and looking into identifying and contacting the other artists Scott's stolen from over the years, when... Scott released a book. His first-ever graphic novel [looks into the camera like i'm on the office]

drawn entirely by AI.

So we have a frankenstein's monster of copyright infringement masquerading as illustrations (with all the uncanny valley that implies), Scott's technically and practically terrible writing, and the plot is Greek mythology. There are four and a half typos just in the free sample, and that's not including the words in images like his map or logo. He claims the title is a registered trademark but it certainly isn't registered in his state, or federally, and it's already in use by several other brands, so I wouldn't believe him even if he hadn't demonstrated a lack of understanding of copyright & trademark as recently as last week.

So I'm kinda fucking done waiting for answers! I can't trust a thing out of this guy's mouth! And he's pretty stupid, so do I even care what he thinks? I have decided that no. No I do not. I'll check back in 2028 and if he's survived + actually followed through then maybe I'll give his video a watch but until then it is simply pissing me off to remember this guy exists.

Sorry this turned into a rant I'm just really starting to loathe the guy. It's been an infuriating week or two. But uh... No, it's only canon to this one action figure line that ran for a little over a decade. We're certainly not beholden to it, it's more of a fun little in-joke for the fandom these days. You see someone use C'yra and you're like haha I know her! It's fun :3 Regardless of Scott's bullshit I enjoy seeing it around, and it's not like he owns or benefits from it in any way when maybe 1% of the people using it know where it comes from (and the people who know it was him specifically may be limited to the followers that have watched me complain about it).

Thank you for asking, I really do love asks even if the answer isn't what I want it to be lol. I'm happy to verify or explain anything I can!

[swervesfirstblaster]

Heyyyyy I recently watched Transformers One movie and it has awoken my love for these guys that was dormant for a bit but even though I might re watch some of the cartoons but I really wanna read the comics.

I'm looking at list and reddit threads but some are a few years old (I'm curious about anything new that might have came out) or are heavy on crossovers so I was wondering if you, the most recently active blog I found talking about the comics has some recs for someone trying to get into them.

I like gay alien space dramas I just wanna know their many crimes

(sorry if this is annoying btw)

hello sorry for the delay i was trying to think of a good list for you and ty for trusting me on this <33 im gonna try to resume the best i can because theres many manyy comics and orders,so

1- the idw first continuity is the longest and most loved, you can try to start with this guide, theres missing some things by the end but if u read the comics until the end you will find whats missing bc the comics itselfs can guide you, also you can also start resding by the Idw Transformers Collection Hardcovers (they online for free) because they have the comics in order too, theres a comic called the transfomers continuum that resumes a little bit the events of this universe until a certain point so if u ever feel a little lost you can check that comic to see the timeline

https://transformersidw.tumblr.com/post/173140014525/sadly-the-idw-generation-one-comics-continuity-is

2- Theres fun crossovers that you can read whenever you want like transfomers/my little pony, transformers/exterminator, tf/star trek, tf/g.i joe, tf/ back into the future, etc also transformers shattered glass is very good stand alone mini series, we have two bumblebee fun minis too no need to read anything previously

3- The IDW second continuity not related to the first one, it starts with Transformers (2019) and has some mini series about others bots like beast wars, etc, i didnt read it so i cant have a opinion but i know its more focused on the bots on cybertron no earth or humans

4- Transformers (2023) is also a new continuity but by image/skybound where you can jump whenever you want, i highly recommend it

[readingtoinfinity]

G.I. Joe (2024) issue #1

And so it becomes. All of the setup so far has been leading to this; now let G.I. Joe and Cobra duke it out.

Even though it's a first issue it doesn't feel like the start. There's been buildup in both Transformers and the solo series, and some members of both teams aren't present yet. There's also the shocking switch-up of Mercer being a Cobra agent and the Baroness working for G.I. Joe, but I guess we'll have to deal with this now and there will be no shocking further developments I'm sure.

The issue is fine as an introduction. It's building on the previous themes about conflict and resources, and there's a strong focus on team dynamics I'm enjoying, but as of yet there's nothing to write home about. I'm hoping we'll see something spectacular soon, but for now I can keep reading happily.

[quetzalpapalotl]

Since you have an IDW2005 Optimus and Arcee reading list, do you have one for... all of IDW?

Yeah! I made one for a friend some time ago and polished it and uploaded it here. (I'm assuming this is about the 2009-2018 continuity and not IDW2)

The guide favors publishing order but it's organized by volume for a coherent reading experience. It also lists individual issues, so it works whether you adquired all the volumes or are reading chapter by chapter online or any combination. I tried to be clear about what is what and what's included in what, but if there's any confusion let me know.

IDW1 is divided in 3 "phases", in phase 3 there's a lot of crossovers with other Hasbro franchises known as the Hasbroverse. I included all the crossovers with Transformers, but not all the Hasbroverse series. I didn't include G.I. Joe volume 5 even though Skywarp joins the cast in it because if I did, I felt like I would have had to include all of G.I. Joe.

Now, and the rest is just me preaching so feel free to ignore, you don't have to read everything on this list. I am a completionist and I like doing this stuff, I also think it's good to know what actually happens bc most people here haven't read most of the continuity and there's a lot of misinformantion and silly discourse going around. But comics shouldn't feel like homework and I see a lot of people not making progress or giving up on the continuity bc they get tired of making themselves read slop.

More than meets the eye by James Roberts is Tumblr's darling, the one mostly everyone has read and talks about, so if you care about enganging with fandom that's the one you have to read. The Wreckers saga, Barber's exRID and the Winblade series by Scott sorta come second in that regard (Barber's stuff is actually my favorite). Aside from Wreckers and spotlight Kup, phase 1 is generally considered to be not very good, with phase 2 being where stuff starts getting good.

But maybe you will like the stuff in phase 1, I don't know. I'm not telling you what to skip, I don't know your priorities, that's why personalized guides like the OP and Arcee ones are for. What I'm telling you is that if you get bored of something, just go for the next thing. Or really just start by whichever series seems more interesting to you. If you must complete the reading, you can always do it after you're already hooked. And if anything is confusing bc you skipped something or for whatever reason you can always, always ask me about the lore.

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Transformers Theory: If The Decepticons Of TFA Found Out The Core Of Cybertron Is Organic...

[Note: Please Don’t Reblog This Without Permission. also even though this post isn’t really mature, I’m still going to put the mature audiences only and not for kids tags for this. also reading this theory is optional.] 

I think they would take as well as Sentinel, which would be them freaking out and assuming the position where they lay on the floor and start to rock back and forward as learning the truth about their home planet has traumatized them.

yeah, in Beast Machines, it ends up turning out that Cybertron wasn’t always a Metal Planet, and was originally a Organic World....that is until it was Cyberformed into a metal world and had possibly harmed some of the organic life on it, half of it being killed while half of it ended up mutated into “Demons” that would later become Predacons and Maximals.

Megatron, could be shocked at first but could end up taking it a bit better than Shockwave, Lugnut, Starscream, the Starscream Clones and the rest of the Decepticons....

Blitzwing could be fine either way, but still be really super surprised that their home world was originally organic and has a organic core.

I think Shockwave might not be able to properly process it and might even keep saying that it isn’t possible or logical, yeah, try saying that about Brawn marrying a Human like Cover-Girl from G.I. Joe....

I think it would not just freak out the Autobots that the core of their home planet is organic, but it could very well freak out the Decepticons...

but some could take it a bit better than most, and some could have a very serious freak out about it and start running around and scream to the well of allsparks in the sky, that it isn’t true and it isn’t possible...

but no matter how much they try to deny it, they will have to accept that they too, have organic heritage.

it could still ended up freaking the Decepticons and Autobots out, that it being possible for Cybertronians and Humans to have children, and well Sari is living proof that it is possible, even if it is by having the hatchling scan the DNA of the human parent.

so it could be possible that Primus has been hiding this truth, that the planet cybertron has a organic core and it was the body of the Allspark, until Primus’s core and good half was placed into Cybertron....so that could mean that Cybertron has two cores, one being Primus the Male Half and the other being the Allspark which is the Female Half and is also the organic half.

and if Primus were to fuse his core half with the organic half, and it being willingly by both sides, it could be like a relationship...

Tigerhawk is still the first romantic fusion and relationship, and I’m going to view them to be like the Garnet of the Transformers Universe.

Tigerhawk isn’t two people, and he isn’t one person, he is a experience.

the Oracle, could turn out to be the organic core of Cybertron, having become one and in the same with it’s original organic core before Primus came along and fused with the organic planet and had cyberformed into a metal planet.

Techno-Organic Cybertron is the future and evolution of all Cybertronians.

but it doesn’t still mean that it wont still freak out TFA-Megatron’s Decepticons...

it be interesting that it isn’t just TFA-Optimus who can be a helicopter mom....well, dad...

because of how he was listening in on Bumblebee, Bulkhead and Sari when they were trick-or-treating.

Megatron being a helicopter dad, would be interesting...

like if he listens on Blitzwing and Lugnut  in the same way Optimus did, but like if Shari (Shattered Glass Sari) is with Blitzwing and Lugnut when it happens.

like they could be out at some dance club, when it happens, and Shari could comments that Megatron (not the one from Shattered Glass...)

is being a helicopter dad.

the name Shari can be seen as a type of nickname for SG-Sari, and I think it fits her....because it can also be seen as coming from the words....

Shattered Glass Sari.....so it still fits.

I’m not sure what else to say about my thoughts about how the TFA Decepticnos would react to finding out that Cybertron has a organic core...

other than that I don’t think all of them would take it very well and would likely freak the spark out....and when that happens, they would need time to calm down and fully process the truth....it will still be funny if Sentinel freaked out about it and he could take even longer to accept it than the Decepticons.

even if this post isn’t really all that mature, but I rather it still be read by a mature audience only, and it being not for kids....and hope some can understand that.        

also, reading this weird theory is optional, so it’s okay that not everyone reads it. if I decided to talk more about the theory about the TFA-Decepticons freaking out and losing their minds over finding out that their home planet has a organic core, then maybe sometime I will talk more about it...

but for now, this is all I have at the moment and I guess I can think more about it and how it could go for the Decepticons after they learn that Cybertron has a organic core....                 

[wirewitchviolet]

Remember when we really tried to regulate children’s programming and advertising? So anyway in Raid Shadow Legends you can-

A friend of mine has noticed a rather obvious trend in fighting game youtube content for the past week or so, where suddenly it seems every big fighting game “influencer” is advocating quite out of the blue for new fighting games to switch to a “free to play” business model in the future. While that’s a horrible idea, and I might eventually circle back to why or write something else about it, it all comes across pretty damn scripted, like the result of some company starting to spend their advertising budget to push a game using that very model is, perhaps, paying or otherwise bribing anyone they see talking about the genre to advocate for their business model.

The thing of it is though, that’s not a scandal or anything. That’s standard practice for advertising these days. Which is, in and of itself, rather scary. So, history lesson time!

I wanted to start this off with a bunch of links and old news footage clips about the history of marketing directly to children, and hilariously enough every search I tried just kept giving me hour long video compilations of old toy commercials. Then another friend reminded me this Toy Galaxy video exists and yeah, this is perfect. Please just start this playing in the background as you continue to read, it goes over a ton of this stuff for me:

Granted some of us also prefer to just read, so as an alternative, here, here, and here are some substantive articles on the topic. And a follow-up here, from around 2000.

The short version is that after it was firmly established that kids watched a hell of a lot of TV and quoted it all the time, advertisers realized that hey, even if kids don’t actually have any money to spend themselves, it’s shockingly easy to get them completely and utterly obsessed with what they see on TV, and that can be exploited to get them pestering their parents to buy basically anything. But at the time, we weren’t QUITE living in the sort of hypercapitalist dystopia we have today yet, and there were enough people concerned about how terrifying the idea of brainwashing children to turn them into living spambots to try like hell to get regulations in place to keep it from happening.

Sadly this didn’t work. In fact it failed so badly I had to go hunt down all these links to try and make the mindset that “hey, He-Man is a line of action figures, why is there this TV show where a bunch of action figures are just walking around interacting with each other?” doesn’t seem completely alien. Not even getting into the concern over whether children would be able to differentiate when the show they’re watching took a break, and the next few minutes were going to be ads.

Actually I still need to unpack that one some more. When the gates first opened to this whole “aim television at children sometimes and not just adults,” the foot to get it in the door was that we could have educational TV. Like, for a good long while, TV aimed at kids just wasn’t a thing, and you’d just have the news or like, cop shows on at the times kids would be around the TV, and the big game changer to this was PBS launching with stuff like Sesame Street. And when I say that was the foot getting in the door, I’m saying stuff like G.I. Joe seriously argued (successfully, somehow) that oh yeah, we’re here to teach kids good life lessons just like the muppets there, look see?

But the idea was you’d have something that ACTUALLY had the sort of educational content on in your Saturday morning time slot, kids would be watching it with the explicit framing that “hey, these puppets or cartoon characters or whatever are going to explain a bunch of important life lessons, so do everything they say to” and then suddenly in the middle of all that educating rather than have a vampire pop up and teach you how to count, most channels would have a vampire pop up and tell you to just straight up eat a bowl of scratchy chocolate cookies for breakfast every day or whatever.

Those of us old enough to live through the 80s and 90s didn’t actually end up with that sort of scenario, because again, all the stuff we got was at least filtered through people jumping through a bunch of regulatory hoops and sincere efforts to separate out the real educational stuff to commercial free channels. Most of the actual impact had the form of creating these weird tonal shifts where there’s a clear demarcation between The Show, the lip service to “educational messaging,” and the actual formal toy commercials. The people who’d like to sell you toys would have preferred to have it all blur together, and again, we’ve got multiple generations obsessed with these things decades later, but people still had to twist themselves around to get mandated language in there like “you can pretend to do this with this” and “after the show, you can have this this do this” and such.

You also had a lot of “game cards do not actually talk” disclaimers, lots of emphasis on kids swinging the toys around and voicing them rather than really blur the lines by bringing in actual actors/voice actors. Here’s a good example of the thing although obviously blurring the fantasy line here would be extra inappropriate:

The point though was, again, the weirdos pushing the stuff they wanted to sell had to fight against regulatory bodies and serious advocates to get away with what they did at the time, and it’s kind of a problem how that’s no longer a concern for them. We’re past the days of kids being plopped in front of a TV and having that raise them, and into the era of “here have a computer/phone/tablet/still-a-TV to watch youtube on.” And youtube has absolutely no regulation whatsoever.

Weirdly, the concern here isn’t just about the sort of wild unchecked stuff children are seeing today, although I feel I’m obligated here to remind you that if you leave youtube on autoplay for a couple hours it is eventually going to meander over to white supremacist crap, if it isn’t cutting the middle man and just throwing nazi recruitment and bomb-making tips right into the middle of Minecraft tutorials.

The rest of the internet is also pretty terrible on this front. When looking for an article like the one I just linked I got slammed with image results of swastikas and SS officers made in Minecraft, plus this example of the sort of absolutely wild stuff nazis do to google bomb results for literally anything with propaganda:

Just a... tutorial on how to create a nazi flag in minecraft, on a wordpress page pretending to be the FAQ for a pizza restaurant. And let’s get a “monkey” in there too. But again, not actually what I was planning to talk about today.

No today’s concern is how, not just children today, but those now 30 or 40 year old kids growing up on He-Man, and their parents, really everyone, tend to watch a lot of random people on youtube the way people used to watch regulated broadcast TV. And advertisers are totally aware that not only are there no regulations on that, the people airing those videos are just doing so independently, and by and large not only have no problem whatsoever blending advertising scripts right in with their mainline content, but will probably do so for like, $100. Or maybe even just a pile of in-game scrip for whatever exploitative slot-pull mechanic the “free-to-play” game they’re being coached on how to plug. So in addition to the standard low-effort adbot approach of flooding any comment box anywhere with crap like this:

You’ve got people who people trust as wise experts on, in today’s example, fighting games, posting videos like this, and presumably working the same sort of comments in casually in other contexts.

To be clear I’m not trying to single anyone out here. I’m fairly certain anyone with a large enough audience on youtube (or twitter, facebook, instagram, wherever) constantly gets offers to sell out like this, and I can’t really fault them for taking them because the only ways to make money on the internet are to sell ads or ask nicely for donations.

... although actually no I kind of would like to single someone out because I just noticed that this particular example of disguising advertising as honest enthusiasm for both the product and its terrible business model is specifically for something from Riot Games. So much as I had to get into the nazi propaganda stuff, I need to take a minute to say screw Riot for having so much sexual harassment they eventually had to pay out a 100 million dollar class action settlement to everyone who hadn’t already individually settled with them for monstrous behavior, screw Riot for weird creepy stalker crap, and screw them again for using that unlicensed likeness for their weird parasocial depression twitter stunt, screw them for leaking internal discussions about diversity to nazi sites and using the resulting backlash to justify firing people raising legitimate concerns, and as an aside, screw everyone involved in starting a weird as hell witch hunt against me for agreeing to pass some of the details of that along. I’m half-tempted to scrap this whole post at this point because seriously I’ve never said anything even vaguely critical about that company before without a massive organized backlash. Not sure if that reflects on the company or just their fanbase though.

Anyway, forgive me for that little bit of digression. Point is, we are absolutely living in a lawless frontier right now where there are absolutely no rules in place in an equivalent role to broadcast standards, advertising can and does routinely disguise itself as anything but, and you’re probably better off just assuming any given statement made by someone with a decent sized audience on youtube has at least a 50/50 shot of just being someone’s ad copy.

And I guess I should also take a moment to get into “what no, making fighting games ‘free-to-play’ is a nightmare scenario,” huh?

So... there is a whole gigantic history lesson in how ever since we’ve had the infrastructure for “microtransactions” there’s been a bit of a race to the bottom in the game industry. You’re probably already really, really familiar with this. If you somehow aren’t, here’s enough explainer videos on the subject to last you a few months. Fighting games however have done a better job than most genres of avoiding that. They’ll absolutely charge you for a base game and sell you DLC later, but the pre-DLC model for the genre was to sell you a base game, wait a couple years, and release a special edition of the same game with some new feature/balance patches for characters/a couple new characters, and these days they’ll still give you those new characters, or they’ll let you pay the difference to grab just the new stuff if you already have the original release. And you know, by the nature of the genre, “here have 4 new characters on top of the existing roster” is a significantly more substantial and transformative add-on than the next-best-case for DLC expansions, here’s another pile of missions with a new story line. Monetization wise, fighting games are in a pretty good place.

If encouraged to go to a “free to play” sort of setup, presumably what you’d see instead is the introduction of the horrible mobile game banner pull hell, where you’re either ponying up cash for Fighter Gems or whatever to play the slot machine for each month’s new character or variation on an existing character (my hat is still off to the naming of gender swapped Mr. Big shown below), or maybe throwing your life away on some horrible in-game grind and accepting your losses if the few pulls that gives you just unlocks a new color palette for someone you already have. Or don’t have.

Now, I can also see, to be fair, a less exploitative version of this model. I mean, I literally can. If you’re running windows, you can too. Just go into the little search bar there by the start menu, look for “Xbox” and it’ll pull up this weird little storefront you probably didn’t know was there, and you can download the really good “modern” Killer Instinct for free there. Lets you play as the most boring character (and I think maybe one other on kind of a weekly rotation thing?) then you can just permanently buy whichever characters you like a la cart, and that’s fine.

But that’s not actually a particularly profitable business model. It’s possibly the most fun fighting game I’ve ever played, it’s coming up on 10 years old, but there’s no ongoing support, no sequels on the horizon, and here I am having to go all “you have Uno!” to let you know you can even play it (and half the player base just bought everything at once off Steam for like $5 because that’s way more convenient and the crossplay between the two doesn’t let you play with specific friends). Make a big push towards “free to play” as the hot new model and you know you’re just going to switch from decent regular content chunks to some gatcha garbage from at least a majority of publishers.

So in conclusion, advertising needs regulation, youtube is a cesspit, free-to-play is bad, and uh... yeah maybe try Killer Instinct I guess?

[weerd1]

A quick guide to the nine flagged posts I have.

I don’t post adult material (though I follow sites that do and think everyone on Tumblr should be allowed to post whatever the hell they want to and I will exercise my right not to follow them if I don’t like it) so imagine my surprise when I looked and saw I have NINE posts that are flagged! Of course, I’m not the OP, so I can’t do anything about this but have a snit.

This first one is a collection of GIFs of Star Wars characters losing loved ones.  Please note, there is not a hidden smut bomb at the bottom of the original post, @staff​. 

This one is me commenting on how much I like the DC Animated Universe. No nekkie Wonder Womans to be seen.

Here’s a great post with Scotty and Captain Picard sharing some time on the bridge of the classic Enterprise (no bloody A, B, C, or D).  They do not then engage in “checking each other’s warp core” in the final GIFs.  At least not in what was aired in the episode.  That might be Riker who had the 2PM appointment to follow up and always makes Ensign Jizzmopper sad.

Ah yes, the underground mutants of “Beneath the Planet of the Apes.” Stroke material for decades of horny...Atomic Bomb worshippers?

A really great story about an African-American woman who helped engineer Navy ships.  Must have been tagged by some CRT hater.

Once again, Star Wars.  Women of Star Wars though, so perhaps this one does arouse some prurient interest.  You all know how I feel about Phasma and Hera Syndulla.

A lovely collection of graffiti art featuring Princess Leia.  And nope, no surprise “Princess Lay-YOU” images at the bottom, I swear.

Perhaps the most risqué of them all, covers from “PS-The Preventative Maintenance Monthly” which is a comic book the US Army has printed and distributed for about 60 years to make sure young soldiers who can’t read a standard maintenance manual can have cartoons to show them the way.  I pointed out on the original that Joe Kubert did their art for several years (created by Will Eisner too). I am sure some lonely G.I. in a faraway land suffering a dearth of actual p*rnography has indulged themselves to the Will Eisner created Connie Rodd (or MSG Half-Mast; he’s a big chunk of man), but I don’t think we’re drifting into the adult material market. The Pentagon’s budget and policies are obscene enough without mislabeling PS.

And finally, a Captain America comic where he makes J. Jonah Jameson shave his Hitler ‘stach.  There are no erotic shaving panels included, sorry.

Honestly, the most obscene thing in any of these images is that you can see I have Amazon Music, which breaks my heart to pay for, but it allows my elderly mother to play lots of bluegrass and Waylon Jennings on her Alexa.  

So Tumblr: how about we just slightly get our shit together, huh?

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Pt 13

AN: Another part is up! Let me know what you’re thinking of the series so far because I’m thinking of ending it soon because I’d hate for it to go on longer than needed. But I am having a lot of fun writing it and love hearing back from you guys! Thank you all for those that have been reading since the beginning and if you’re just finding the series, welcome! Enjoy!

Steven Hyde x Reader

October 15, 1978

The Forman Kitchen

Point Place, Wisconsin           

The morning at the breakfast table, things still hadn’t changed between the three teenagers, but they were at least able to be around each other without fists flying, so y/n took that as a plus. Y/n could barley eat though. She had woken up feeling sick to her stomach; the thought of food repulsing her. She nibbled on her toast and couldn’t even sip on her orange juice without wanting to vomit.             

“Y/n, are you okay?” Kitty asked concerned. “You’ve barley touched your breakfast.”          

Y/n groaned. “Just feeling a little sick is all.”            

Kitty hummed and pressed the back of her hand to y/n’s forehead. “You don’t feel warm. Maybe it was something you ate.”            

Y/n groaned again and put her head down. “Maybe.”           

 “Hey Dad, can you pass the bacon?” Eric asked, stretching arm out.            

Y/n gagged and groaned. “Please don’t say bacon.”           

 Eric smirked and grabbed a piece, biting into it. “Mhmmmm…bacόn.”           

 “Please stop,” she grumbled, her stomach churning.            

“It’s so juicy and chewy and the fat at the end is the best part,” Eric continued, laughing.            

“Oh, God! Did you have to say that?!” she screeched as she made haste to the nearest bathroom. She could feel the contents of her stomach rising before she made it to the bathroom.            

“Did you really have to do that?” Kitty asked, disappointed.             

“Yes,” Eric responded. “Yes, I did.”            

Kitty shook her head in disapproval and brought her fork of food to her mouth.            

Red glared at his son before returning his attention to the newspaper.            

“What?!” Eric asked. “She started it!”            

“Oh, boo hoo, she broke your dolls,” Red mocked.           

 “G.I Joes,” Eric corrected.           

 “Whatever,” his father answered. “Whatever she did isn’t worth making her throw up over.”            

Yes, it is, Eric thought.            

Y/n returned to the kitchen, her skin ashen and her eyes sunken. “I think I’m going to go back to bed so I don’t barf all over the table.”            

“Well, okay honey,” Kitty said getting up and taking her plate to the sink. “I’ll bring you some soup later, okay?”            

Y/n shook her head, making a face of disgust. “Please, Mom. I can’t even think about food right now.”           

 “Well, you have to get some food in you,” Kitty responded. “Otherwise you’ll get even more sick.”            

Y/n nodded. “Okay. I just really want to go back to bed.”            

“Okay sweetie,” Kitty responded, rubbing her daughter’s shoulder. “We’ll see you later.”            

Y/n nodded and stole a glance at Hyde before she made her way upstairs.         

“Eric, I need you to mow the lawn later,” Red demanded as he finished his breakfast.            

“What? Why can’t Hyde do it?”            

“Because unlike your sorry ass, I actually have work,” Hyde replied.           

 Eric glared at him before turning back to Red. “Why do I always have to do it?”           

 “Because I said so!” Red barked.                                                 

                                                   --Time Skip—           

 “So, you think you got food poisoning, huh?” Donna asked that night over the phone.             

Y/n nodded before she realized she was talking over the phone. “Yeah, I do. Every time I move, my body screams at me. My back is hurting so much. And my stupid cramps aren’t helping any either.”           

 “Have you been throwing up that much?”            

“Yeah,” Y/n replied, wiping her sweaty and oily hair out of her face. “I think I pulled a muscle in my back or something because of it. Even my boobs hurt.”    

  “Nausea, back aches, and tender breasts,” Donna counted off. “Hey, you may be pregnant.” Donna chuckled at her own joke.           

 “Ha ha,” Y/n chortled. “You’re funny. Definitely not pregnant.”           

 “Yeah? And how do you know?”            

“Because I’m supposed to be getting my period in a few days. These could be symptoms of PMS. Or maybe both.”            

“Supposed to,” Donna pushed, putting emphasis on her words.            

“Shut up,” Elena laughed. “Stop saying that. I’m not pregnant. Eric would throw himself off a cliff if that happened. Or Hyde. Or Eric would push Hyde off a cliff. One of the three.”          

  Donna chuckled. “But seriously, are you alright?”            

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just can’t do much for a couple of days.”            

“Okay, well if you need anything, you know where to find me.”            

“Thanks Donna,” Y/n said. “I’m going to go to sleep. I’ll talk to you later.”            “Alright, rest easy. Talk to you later.”            

Y/n hung up the phone before turning back around and falling back asleep, feeling her stomach churning. Pregnant.            

The word echoed in her head as sleep quickly enveloped her.                                                                             --Time Skip—           

 “Guys!” Kelso called as he barged through the door in the basement. “The Omen is on TV right now!” He hurriedly made his way over to the television set, switching on the movie.           

 “Kelso, what the hell, man? We were watching that!” Hyde piped up.            “C’mon, it’s Halloween season!” Kelso argued. “Tis the season to be jolly!”            

“That’s Christmas, moron,” Jackie said from behind him.           

 “Well, whatever! I think we should get in the spirit.”            

The gang groaned as they leaned back into their seats.           

 “Hey, where’s y/n?” Hyde asked.            

“Oh, she’s upstairs sleeping,” Donna answered nonchalantly.            

“Still? It’s six o’ clock,” he responded. “She’s been upstairs since this morning.”    

“Well, food poisoning is a real bitch,” she replied. “And so is PMS.”           

 “Alright, TMI,” Eric said and got up to turn up the volume on the TV.            

“Oh, Eric, don’t be such a prude,” Fez said. “It’s completely natural. In my culture, we honor women whenever they go through their monthly ordeal. It’s kind of a big deal. We thank the gods and celebrate their womanhood. Then, we bring them flowers and chocolates and some candy too. Or whatever else they’re craving. They get a week off and can stay at home in bed while their husbands, brothers, fathers, or sons take care of everything.”            

“Wow…can I join your culture?” Donna asked.          

  Fez chuckled. “Sure, if you feel like eating bugs for breakfast.”            

Donna grimaced. “Never mind.” She turned to Eric. “Why don’t you do that for me?”            

“Because a woman shouldn’t bleed for seven days straight and still live,” he deadpanned.           

 “Yeah, I don’t trust anything that can bleed for that long and not die,” Kelso said.            

Hyde looked at him amused. “You can’t even be with a woman for seven days straight, let alone be there for her during her monthly problem.”           

 “Not true! I was with Jackie for three years!”           

 “And you cheated on me at least once a month!” Jackie responded. “Hey…wait a minute!”           

 “You guys, women are sacred. They need to be honored and cherished during this time because the pain they go through, we will never understand,” Fez said gently.            

 “We don’t understand?” Hyde said. “Have you ever been kicked in the nads?”            

“Okay, sure, but imagine getting kicked in the nads for at least 3 days straight,” Donna responded.             

“Oh, God!” Eric said, squirming in his seat. “I can’t even imagine that!”            

“Well, sometimes, it’s even more painful,” Jackie added.             

“What does it feel like?” Kelso asked, staring at her.            

“Well, it can feel like someone is taking a knife to your pelvis and slowly twisting it,” Jackie responded causing all the men in the room to squirm, except for Fez.            

“Fez, man, how are you not effected by this?” Kelso asked.            

“I grew up with five sisters,” he responded, shrugging. “Nothing I’m not used to.”            

“Are you guys seriously talking about periods?” Y/n asked as she slowly made her way down the stairs.            

“Hey, you’re up,” Donna stated. “How are you feeling?”            

“Pretty lousy,” Y/n said. “But I’d rather be miserable with company than go through it alone.” She plopped down on the couch next to where Hyde was sitting.            

“Are you going through your…girl problem?” Kelso asked nervously.            

“What? No,” Y/n replied. “I mean, I could be, but it could also be food poisoning.”           

 “Well, what did you eat?” Hyde asked.            

“Nothing out of the ordinary and nothing that you guys didn’t eat,” she replied.           

 “Must be the PMS thing then,” Donna said, laughing when Eric shifted uncomfortably in his seat.           

 “Can we please stop talking about my sister’s cycle? It’s giving me a very vivid image that I’d rather not have.”            

“Y/n, do you need anything?” Fez asked sweetly. “Chocolate? Water? A hot water bottle?”            

Y/n smiled at him. “Why, yes, Fez. That would be lovely.”           

 “Okay, I’ll be right back!” Fez beamed and hopped out the chair to run out the door.           

 “Hey, man, why are you taking care of my chick?” Hyde asked, stopping Fez at the door. “That’s my job.”           

 “Then why aren’t you doing it?” Fez shot back.            

Y/n’s mouth fell open in a laugh as she covered it with her hand. Donna and Jackie tightened their lips to keep themselves for laughing.            

“’Cause she didn’t ask,” he responded.            

“She shouldn’t have to,” Fez said calmly. “You should just do it for her. That’s how you keep your woman happy.”            

“Then why couldn’t you keep Jackie happy?” Hyde quipped.            

Y/n gasped. “Steven!”            

“No, no it’s okay,” Fez said, oddly calm. “You know, Hyde, normally that would bother me, but not today because I’m not the one having another man making my woman happy.”            

Hyde grabbed the nearest object—a magazine—and threw it at Fez, but before it could hit him, he slammed the door shut; the magazine hitting the door with a thud.            

 “He’s right, you know,” Y/n responded with a smile.            

“Do you really feel that way?” Hyde asked her.            

Y/n shrugged. “Not really. It would be nice though.”            

“I see,” Hyde said and stood from his chair, stalking his way to his room.           

 “Steven, wait!” she called after him. “I wasn’t being serious!”            

He flapped a hand at her without turning to look at her and slammed his door.            

“Wow,” Jackie said, puffing out her cheeks. “That escaladed quickly.”           

Y/n shrunk down in her seat, feeling guilty. “What else is new with this group?” 

 “This is great!” Eric beamed, causing everyone to stare at him in confusion. “Now Hyde is mad at you too! Not just me.”           

 Y/n groaned and stood up slowly. “You’re an immature dillhole. I’m going back to bed.”           

 “What should I tell Fez when he gets back?” Donna asked.           

 “That I’m upstairs and he can come up.”           

 “I don’t think Hyde will like that very much,” Kelso mentioned.            

“Who cares?” Eric griped.           

 “Look, I’ll deal with Hyde later,” Y/n responded, ignoring her twin. “Right now, I just want to feel better.” She trudged up the stairs, leaving the group alone.           

 “What a mess,” Donna said.          

  “Tell me about it,” Jackie responded. “Eric, are you still mad at them?”           

 “Of course, I am!” he responded, surprised that Jackie would ask him such a question. “How can I not be?”           

 “Well, you can try not being mad,” Jackie suggested sarcastically.            

 “Eric, give it a rest, yeah?” Donna said. “It’s been over a week.”           

 Eric growled and leaned back in his seat.            

 “He was supposed to be moved out by now,” he mumbled.           

 “Shut. Up. Please,” Donna snapped. “He literally has nowhere to go. You have to be a real prick to throw him out on the streets. It’s not like he murdered your sister.”            

“You just don’t get it, Donna!” he whined. The whole group groaned.            

“Yeah, yeah, yeah we don’t get it because it’s not our sister and we would be pissed too if Hyde was nailing her, blah blah blah. Seriously, Eric, I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say we’re sick of hearing about it,” Kelso said, irritated. He just wanted to watch the movie. Why wasn’t anybody respecting that?            

Eric furrowed his brows at his friends. “You guys really feel this way?”            

“YES!” Jackie, Donna, and Kelso said in unison.           

 “Oh. Well, then, fine,” Eric grumbled and stood up.           

 “Where are you going?” Donna asked.           

 “Since you guys are tired of hearing about it, I’m going to go somewhere else.”           

 “Oh my God, you are such a drama queen,” Donna groaned. “Just sit back down and watch the movie with us.”            

“Nah, I’m good. See you guys later.” With that, he grabbed his coat and shut the door, leaving the three teenagers left to watch the movie.            

“He’s gotten more annoying than usual,” Jackie commented.            

“You know, Jackie, normally I would be offended by that, but this time I have to agree with you,” Donna responded.            

“Well, now we can watch the movie,” Kelso said.            

The three sat in silence on the couch until Kelso tried to sneak his hand up Donna’s leg.           

 “Kelso!” Donna screeched as she slapped his hand away.           

 “Damn, Donna! I was just looking for the remote!”           

 “The remote is on the table, you idiot,” Jackie pointed out.           

 Kelso looked between the two girls with a hurt look. “Women are mean!” He stomped out the basement, forgetting the movie.            

The girls looked at each other and shrugged, returning their attention to the TV before Donna got up to change it back to the channel they were watching.                                                

                                                 --Time Skip—            

Y/n stared down at the home pregnancy test, shock filling her. Positive. The test was freaking positive. She was going to be a mother. Oh God, how would everyone else react? What kind of mother was she going to be?           

 “Oh, Y/n, how could you?” Kitty asked from behind her, hurt playing on her face.    

“Wait, Mom--!” Y/n tried to call after her mother before Red showed up at her side.           

 “How could you be such a disgrace to the family?!” Red shouted, his face turning pink. Kitty turned to her husband’s side and started sobbing. “Look what you’re doing to your mother!”            

“No, but Daddy—” Y/n said, tears welling in her eyes.            

“Wow, you’re such a whore!” Eric laughed as he suddenly appeared by their parents’ side. “And here I thought Laurie would be the one to get knocked up from some rando.”            

“What?” she asked her twin, tears cascading down her pale cheeks.            

“Wow, little sister, you certainly top me,” Laurie said, smirking.            

“Laurie?” Y/n questioned.           

 “I’m leaving you,” Steven said coldly, appearing in front of her. “You were just a fling. You knew this from the start. I can’t have a baby with a loser.”           

 “You said you loved me!” Y/n screamed.          

  “I lied,” Steven said and smirked. “I only strung you along so that I could nail you. Now, look at you. You’re fat and alone.”            

Y/n looked down and saw that her stomach had enlarged. “What?” she whispered.           

 “We can’t have you in the family,” Kitty suddenly said. “We can’t have a whore in the family.”            

“You have Laurie!”           

 “At least she didn’t get pregnant!” her mother shot back. “You and your mistake can get out of our house, out of our lives. You’re no longer welcome!”            

“No, Mom! Please, I need you. I need Daddy and Steven, please. I can’t do this alone. I need you more than ever.”           

 She went to grab his hands, but he jerked away from her. “Well, you’re gonna have to do it alone.”            

Tears cascaded down her face as she tried to blink them away, but as quickly as they appeared, they disappeared. Suddenly, Y/n found herself sitting alone in a total darkness, a single light shining above her.           

 “No,” she whimpered, looking around. “No. No. NO!”            

Y/n jerked awake, sweat coating her forehead. Her breathing was slightly heavy as she glanced at the clock. 2:08AM. She sighed and fell back onto her pillow, fingers threading through her sweaty and knotted hair. She couldn’t believe she’d been asleep for eight hours.            

Her room suddenly flooded with light as Kitty, dressed in her pink robe, hair a rat’s nest, stood in her cracked door. “Y/n, honey, are you alright? I heard you yelling.”           

 “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Y/n replied. “Just had a nightmare.”            

“Oh, honey, it’s okay,” Kitty replied and moved closer to adjust herself on the bed. “You know, when you were little, you would get nightmares all the time. And the only thing that would soothe you and get you to go back to sleep is when I would gently caress your hair until you fell back asleep.”            

Y/n smiled softly. “Too bad I’m older now, huh?”            

“Oh, nonsense,” Kitty said and leaned over, caressing her hair back. “You’re never too old for your mother’s love.”            

Y/n smiled and turned on her side, facing Kitty.            

“You wanna talk about it?” she asked her daughter after a moment of silence.            

Y/n thought about it for a minute. She actually wanted to talk to her about it, but she knew if she did, she could open up something that she really didn’t want to. Even if it were just a dream, Kitty would know that it was something much deeper than that.            

“No,” she responded after a beat. “I’m okay. Thank you, though.”          

  “Of course sweetheart,” Kitty cooed. She continued to smooth Y/n’s hair, effectively calming her down. Fifteen years later and it still works.           

 Y/n could already feel sleep overcoming her again. “Thank you, Mommy,” she mumbled as her eyelids grew heavier.            

“You’re absolutely welcome,” Kitty responded and leaned over to kiss her forehead. “I love you.”           

 “I love you too,” Y/n whispered before falling asleep once more.                                                                         

                                                 ⧝⧝⧝            

Y/n woke up the next day, just as horrible as the day before. She dragged herself out of bed and trudged downstairs to see her family eating lunch.            

“Morning Sunshine,” Kitty cheerfully greeted her. “You must be really sick to sleep in till noon.”            

Y/n grunted back and grabbed some orange juice and sat down. The smell of their lunch making her nose curl, repulsing her.           

 “How’re you feeling, kitten?” Red asked.            

“I’m okay,” Y/n responded. “Could be better. Still feel kinda nauseas and tired.”            

“You want some dry toast?” Kitty asked. “You haven’t eaten much.”           

Y/n nodded tiredly and put her head on the table. “I’d love some actually.”            

Kitty smiled and got up, popping bread in the toaster. “Oh, your foreign friend dropped off some stuff for you. I left it here on the counter.”            

“Hm?” Y/n hummed, looking at Kitty.            

“He said something to do with your menstrual cycle, so he dropped off a hot water bottle, some midol, and a box of chocolate.”           

 “Oh, come on, Kitty, not while we’re eating!” Red exclaimed, disgusted.           

 The whole time, Eric and Steven had been quiet. Steven glared at the gifts through his aviators. Eric rolled his eyes and continued to eat his lunch.            

“What a sweet boy!” Kitty laughed. “You know, I don’t think I’d mind if you ended up with him.”            

Y/n smiled as Kitty set a plate of two slices of dry toast in front of her.           

 “I’m going to make you some tea as well. You gotta get some liquids in you,” Kitty stated.           

 “Kitty, don’t put ideas in her head!” Red said, throwing down the paper he was reading.           

 “What do you mean by that?” Y/n asked, offended. “Is it because of his skin color?”            

“What?” Red asked, scrunching up his face. “God, no! I don’t want you dating anybody. You’re too young.”           

 “Dad, I’m eighteen,” Y/n deadpanned as she nibbled at her toast. “Eric and Donna have been dating since they were, like, eight.”            

“No, we haven’t,” Eric argued.            

 “Shut up, yes you have,” Y/n said.            

“Eric’s different,” Red continued. “Eric is a man, or as close of a man as he can get. Besides, Donna is the best he’s ever going to do.” He started laughing, but he was the only one who found that funny.           

 “Thanks Dad,” Eric deadpanned.            

“Red Forman!” Kitty exclaimed.            

“What? It’s funny!” Kitty gave him a hard look making him shut up. “Fine, it’s not.”            

Y/n managed a small smile before bringing a piece of toast to her lips. “Don’t worry, Dad. I’m not even seeing anyone.”            

Eric stopped mid-bite to give side eye to his twin sister. Y/n returned a hard, cold stare to her brother as if to say don’t you freaking dare.           

 “So, Fez gave you those huh?” Steven asked.            

“Yeah, I guess,” Y/n replied. “That was really nice of him.”           

 “Yeah, real nice,” he responded slowly.            

“It was,” Y/n replied, staring at her boyfriend in suspicion. “You got something to say?”           

 “No, why would I?” he responded. “Why would I have anything to say that my best friend is flirting with my…other best friend?”            

Kitty stood at the stove as she waited for the tea to heat up and squinted her eyes at Steven before looking to her husband who was giving him the same look.           

 “What’s your deal, Hyde?” Y/n asked him, growing annoyed with him.            

“Oh, nothing,” he responded. “I’m just saying that he’s never done this for another girl before unless it was Jackie.”            

“Steven, what’re you getting at?” Red asked him.            

“Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me, Y/n?” Hyde said, staring coldly at her.           

 Y/n returned the glare. “If you’re insinuating that Fez likes me, you are terribly, terribly wrong.”            

“Then why would he do it for you?” he asked impatiently.           

 “I don’t know!” Y/n responded, flabbergasted. “Because he wants to be nice?”            

“Nice, ha!” Steven hollered, causing everyone to look at him in surprise. “Guys don’t do things just to be nice.”            

Y/n gave him a look. “Why do you care so much what he does?”           

 “Yeah, Hyde. Why do you care?” Eric asked with a smirk.            

Steven realized what he was doing and looked at everyone who was looking at him with furrowed brows. He straightened his posture and looked down at his lunch, clearing his throat. “I don’t. I just find it rather odd.”            

“And if Fez does like me, what’s it to ya?” Y/n asked, cocking her head to the side.           

 “It doesn’t,” Hyde replied coldly, taking a sip from his iced tea.             

Y/n lifted an eyebrow at him before finishing off her toast.             

“Is there something going on between you two?” Red asked.            

The couple stole a glance at each other before looking to Red.           

 “No, not at all,” Y/n replied casually.           

 “Why would there be?” Steven asked.            

“I don’t know. You’re acting weird,” Red commented. “Stop it.”            

Steven grinned at him. “Yes, sir.”           

 “Here’s your tea, sweetheart,” Kitty said, bringing over a mug of tea. “And I put in some honey, Honey.” She laughed at her own joke.            

Y/n chuckled softly. “Thanks, Mom.”           

 “Oh, by the way, Sasha called for you yesterday,” Kitty said, sitting back down.            

Y/n perked up. “She did? Why?”          

  “I’m not too sure. She wanted to talk to you about something, but I told her you weren’t feeling well. So, I took down her number and told her you’d give her a call back when you feel better.”           

 “Yeah, I’ll call her back once I can stop vomiting.”            

“And yet, you’ve been able to achieve that this whole time,” Eric said sarcastically. “Must feel nice to finally be able to achieve something for once. Congrats, sis.”           

Y/n glared at him. “If I could control it, I’d do it on you right now.”            

“Okay, that’s enough,” Kitty cut in. “Finish your lunches.”            

“I can’t. I’m going downstairs to watch TV,” Y/n whimpered.           

 “Okay. Don’t forget your tea!” Kitty called out.            

Y/n turned back around and grabbed the warm mug between her cold hands and made her way downstairs. On her way, she grabbed the midol and the hot water bottle.            

At this point, Steven was seething as he watched his girlfriend take Fez’s gifts.        

 “Alright, well, I’m heading out for a few,” Steven announced, quickly getting up. “Thanks for the lunch, Mrs. Forman.”           

 “Oh, you’re welcome, dear,” she responded.           

 “Wanna come?” Hyde asked Eric.            

Eric looked up at him. “What for?”           

 “Just come on,” Hyde pushed and grabbed Eric by the shirt, tugging him out the door.           

 “But I’m not finished!” Eric whined.           

 “You are now,” Hyde said before closing the sliding door.            

“What’s with them?” Red asked.           

 “I have no clue,” Kitty responded, not caring. “They’re always up to something.”             

Outside, Eric shoved himself out of Hyde’s grasp. “What the hell, man?”            

“Get in the car,” Hyde ordered, unlocking the El Camino.            

“What? No,” Eric said, standing in his place.           

 “Get in. We have to talk.”           

 Eric crossed his arms. “I have nothing to say to you.”            

 “Great. Then you can just listen,” Hyde responded standing in front of the driver’s side door, waiting for Eric to get in. His arm rested on top of the car casually as if not a care in the world. “You going to get in?”            

“Why should I?”           

 Hyde groaned. “Just get in the car, man!”            

“Are you kidnapping me?” Eric asked as he slowly made his way to the passenger’s side.            

“Of course not.”            

“You gonna take me to the middle of nowhere, take my clothes after you convince met to skinny dip in the lake, and abandon me while I walk around naked and afraid like last time?”            

Hyde rolled his eyes. “I came back for you, didn’t I?”           

 “Three hours later!”           

 “For the love of God, just shut up and get in the car!”           

 “It was so cold,” Eric whimpered as he slid in the front seat and shut the door. “Where are we going?”           

 “For a drive,” Hyde responded and backed out the driveway. Once they were on the road, Hyde broke the silence. “Listen, man. This whole thing between you, me, and Y/n has gotten way out of hand.”            

“You don’t have to tell me.”            

“What happened to you shuttin’ up and letting me talk?”           

 Eric sighed, making a face. “Fine.”           

 “Look,” Hyde began. “I know you’re pissed off at us for dating and going behind your back—”           

 “And lying.”           

 “…Yeah, and lying about it. But I need you to know that everything I said is true. Y/n is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and when I say that I will do whatever I can to make her happy, I mean it. And this whole ending a friendship over it is stupid.”           

 Eric stared at Hyde in disbelief. “You’re serious about this? About my sister?”             

“Yeah, man. That’s why I’m here talking to you,” he responded and turned onto the main road. “I know we could’ve gone around it differently, but come on man, what would you have done? You’ve been saying that we need to put ourselves in your shoes, well put yourself in our shoes. Imagine if Donna was my sister, but you really liked her. What would you have done?”           

 Eric was silent for a minute. “Well, we probably wouldn’t be friends considering you kissed her and tried to get with her.”            

Hyde gave an exasperated sigh. “Man, will you focus?”            

 Eric thought about it for a second. “I guess I can understand that.”           

 “And I want you to know that I won’t disappoint her. I will take care of her and make sure she gets everything she wants and needs. I’m not going to be like the rest of my family and be a deadbeat and end up in prison. I will do good for her.”            

Eric turned his gaze to him and suddenly felt an anchor of guilt settle in the pit of his stomach. “Oh, man. Look, Hyde when I said that…I didn’t mean it. I was angry and—”           

 “It’s fine,” Hyde said, cutting in.            

“No, no it’s not,” Eric turned to face him. “It was wrong of me to say that to you. It’s just that…she’s my sister, man. My twin, you know? My favorite sister. I can’t help but feel, you know, maybe a little overprotective of her.”            

“No, but you were right,” Hyde confessed and turned onto the highway. “I probably was headed down that path anyway. But being with her has actually made me want to be better.”            

Eric looked at Hyde like he had two heads. “You look like my friend, but you don’t sound like him. Where’s Hyde?!”           

 Hyde chuckled and turned off the highway, noticing Eric calling him his friend. “I know. It’s sickening.”            

Eric laughed and turned back around, facing the front. He noticed they were entering downtown. “Hyde…where are we going? This isn’t just a drive anymore.”            

“You’ll see in a minute,” he said and continued down a narrow road before stopping in front of a super store. He turned the car off and sat back quietly. “Just so you know, this wasn’t easy for me to talk about it. So, if you tell anyone, I’ll deny the whole thing.”            

Eric nodded and looked at Hyde seriously. “I’m still not happy about it, but I guess I don’t have a choice but to accept it. You two really do seem happy.”            

Hyde nodded and looked down. “We are, man.”            

“Just…don’t hurt her,” Eric said. “Then I’d have to kick your ass and then I’d end up getting my ass kicked and then Red will kick my ass for getting my ass kicked and then he’d hunt you down like a dog and then he’d kick your ass.”            

Hyde sat there in stunned silence. “Wow…that’s…detailed. How long have you been sitting on this?”            

“Pretty much since I found out.”           

 “Wow.”           

 “Yeah,” Eric replied. “Also, one more thing. I don’t wanna hear or see you and my sister doing anything. The image of you two doing anything makes me want to hurl.”          

  “Deal,” Hyde chucked. “So, are we good?”          

  Eric looked at him for a moment and grinned. “Yeah, man, we’re good.”            

Hyde nodded and the two boys lifted their hands, bringing each other in for bro-hug.           

 “Can I just ask you one question, though?” he asked.            

Hyde hummed.           

 “Why her? Why Y/n?”            

Hyde sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t know, man. She’s different. She’s smart and actually funny, interesting, and genuine. Really sweet and cares about others beside herself. Besides, she’s smoking hot.”            

“Well, I’d never thought I’d hear my best friend put my sister and ‘smoking hot’ in the same sentence,” Eric retorted and pretended to gag. “Really, really unpleasant.”           

 “I know. I just said that because I think it’s funny,” Hyde laughed.          

  Eric slugged him in the shoulder. “And every time you say stuff like that, you’ll get hit.”            

They laughed lightly together before Eric slapped a hand on Hyde’s shoulder. “And, uh, don’t worry about my parents. Your secret is safe with me.”            

“Thanks, man,” Hyde replied. “Well, let’s go inside.”           

 “Why are we at this one?” Eric asked, joining Hyde outside the car. “You know there’s like three different stores in town. Why this one?”           

 “Because this is the biggest one in Point Place and they have everything I want.”           

 “Which is?”           

 “You’ll see.”            

As they entered the store, Hyde went for the first thing he saw: flowers. Specifically, half a dozen red roses. Then he went towards the freezer section, grabbing a pint of her favorite ice cream: mint chocolate chip.           

 “Ice cream?” Eric questioned.            

“I heard chicks really dig ice cream during their…problem time.”           

 “Yeah, Donna eats like four of those.”           

 “Damn,” Hyde sighed. “I’m, uh, I’m not very good at this. All I know is I want Y/n to feel better and I was kind of a jerk earlier.”           

 “Yeah, about that,” Eric piped up, browsing the ice cream flavors. “Why were reacting that way?” Eric’s eyes grew a fraction wider. “You were jealous, weren’t you?”           

 “What? No. I don’t get jealous.”            

“You so did!” Eric laughed. “You hated that Fez bought all that stuff for her because you felt like a bad boyfriend for not thinking about it earlier!”            

“You wanna get your ass kicked this early in the day?” Hyde threatened.             

Eric continued to laugh at him. “Just admit it. You totally did.”          

  Hyde rolled his eyes as he found his way to the soft drink section and grabbed a few bottles of ginger ale. “Okay, fine, maybe a little. But he shouldn’t have been hitting on her. She’s my chick. I should be the one getting all the stuff she needs.”           

 “And that’s what you’re doing now,” Eric stated, looking around. “Is that why you brought me here? To help you find stuff that she would like?”            

“No,” Hyde answered as they entered another aisle. He found a tin box of saltines and bent down to grab them. “I know what she likes; I don’t need you for that. I mainly brought you here so that we could sort crap out.” He picked up a box of assorted chocolates, something he knew she’d like.             

“You trying to tell me something?” Eric smirked, causing Hyde to chuckle. “Don’t you think you maybe going a little overboard?” He asked when he noticed Hyde putting everything in the basket.           

 “Maybe,” he answered honestly and led Eric away from the grocery section. “I just want her to know that I care.”            

“Well, she’ll definitely get that message,” the twin responded and noticed where Hyde was leading them. “Seriously? Condoms?”           

 “You don’t want me to knock her up, do you?”           

 “I’m still trying to accept you two and by you doing this in front of me is really bumming me out.”           

 Hyde laughed cruelly. “That’s kind of funny.” He quickly grabbed a pack and threw it in the cart. “Just don’t look at ‘em.”           

 Eric sighed and looked away. “What else are you giving her?”           

 “Besides a good time?”           

 Eric dramatically screeched and squirmed. “Please. Stop. Saying. That.”           

 Hyde burst into laughter, laughing at his friend’s discomfort. “That will never get old.”          

  “You’re a sadistic son of a bitch, you know that?”                                                        

                                                   —Time Skip—            

Y/n laid on the couch in the basement, wrapped up in a blanket, mindlessly watching tv. She was in and out of consciousness for the good part of the afternoon. Even though she was sick, she was still upset about her little dispute with Hyde.            

When did he become so jealous? Why would he think that of Fez? And worse of all, why didn’t he trust her enough? It hurt, but she was more curious as of why. She could feel her stomach beginning to churn again as it was ready to bring back up what she brought down earlier. 

Please, God, no. She quickly sat up, the room spinning for a minute, before she ran back to the bathroom and found herself with her head in the toilet. This had to be the forty-fifth time in the last couple of days of her spending time kneeling in front of the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach into the light green basin.            

She held her hair back as tears pricked the corner of her eyes. It hurt so much and all she wanted in that moment was just to stop. What in the hell did she catch that made her feel this violently ill? After she was sure she was done, except from the dry heaving, she wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet. She sat against it for a little while longer, wishing her stomach would calm down enough for her to get a good sleep in. She couldn’t help but let a few tears escape. Her back was hurting, her body was aching, and her throat was burning. And on top of all that, she started cramping earlier in the day and the pain hadn’t subsided.             

“Y/n?” she heard from the basement living room.           

 She groaned in response and heard footsteps approach the door to the tiny bathroom. She twisted her face in pain as another surge of nausea reared its ugly head. Hyde appeared in the doorway just as he saw her turn her pale and tortured face into the basin once again. He could hear her whimpers through each retched gag.           

 “Awe, Doll,” he cooed and knelt down beside her, rubbing her back. He gathered her long hair in his hands and tried to look anywhere besides the toilet. He gently shushed her and reassured her that he was there now for her.          

Once she was finished, she fumbled for the handle, and pulled down. Hyde handed her some tissues to wipe her mouth. She gratefully accepted it and sat up fully, leaning against the wall.            

“What’re you doing here?” she croaked. “I thought you were pissed at me.”            

“Well, that’s why I’m here,” he responded and helped her off the floor. He wrapped a protective arm around her waist and guided her back to the couch where Eric also sat.            

“Are you here to fight? Because this isn’t how I envisioned our first fight.”             

He gently sat her on the couch, handing her the blanket and chuckled. “No, that’s not why I’m here.”            

“Then what?”           

 “Mainly to give you these,” he responded and handed her the roses.            

Y/n’s face softened as she weakly grasped the flowers in her fists. “What’s this for?”           

 “An apology,” Hyde responded and took a deep breath. “I know I was a jealous jerk earlier and…I’m sorry, okay?”            

She looked at him in the eye. “Why were you?”            

“I don’t know,” he responded and rubbed his neck. “I just…I just didn’t like seeing some other guy bring you things that I should be bringing.”            

She meekly set the flowers down on the coffee table in front of her. “Steven, do you not trust me?”            

“What? Of course I do.”            

“Then why did you act like Fez was going to hook up with me and I wouldn’t be able to say no?”            

“No, it’s not that. I…I—can you hang on a second?” he turned around to look at Eric. “Can we get a minute?” he asked impatiently.           

 Eric’s smug look never left his face. “Sure. Doll.”           

 Hyde stood abruptly, intimidatingly. Eric laughed and ran upstairs.            

Y/n knit her eyebrows together. “You guys are okay now or something?”            

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat and sat back down. “That’s another story.”            

Y/n nodded. “You were saying?”            

“Look, Y/n, when I saw Fez jumping in to immediately take care of you, I guess it felt like I…wasn’t doing my job as your boyfriend. And then when you said it did bother you, I knew I wasn’t. And…that maybe what everyone thinks is true.”            

“Which is what?” she pressed.           

 “C’mon, you’re really going to make me say it?”           

 “Yes,” she responded sternly.             

Hyde sighed and tore his eyes away from hers. “That…I’m not good enough…for you. There. Ya happy?”           

Y/n sighed, giving him a sad look. “No,” she responded gently and grabbed his hand. “No, I’m not happy. You can’t think that. You can’t let Fez get to you like that and it really didn’t bother me that you didn’t jump up to help me either. I’m a big girl. I can very well go get the stuff myself.”           

“So, you don’t mind?”           

 She smiled gently. “No. Yes, it’s nice if you did that stuff for me and trust me, I’d love it, but I’m not going to make you do it for me. I want you to want to do it for me.”            

He smiled at her and kissed the side of her head. “I did get you some things though.” He leaned down and grabbed the white bag, laying out the contents on the table. “I got you some ginger ale and saltines to help you with the nausea and then when it passes, I got you some chocolates and ice cream to satisfy your cravings.”           

 The look of sweets made her stomach churn, but she smiled through it and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Thank you, baby.”            

“You’re welcome,” he said quietly and kissed her head once more. He noticed that she was shivering and gently stood. “I’ll be right back.” He high tailed it to his room and brought back a sweater. “Here.”            

She grabbed it gratefully and threw it over her head, inhaling his scent: musk and woodsy. He settled on the couch next to her as she cuddled his side. He grabbed the blanket and threw it over both of them.           

“So, how was your day?” he asked her.            

“Fantastic,” she responded. “I spent the day throwing up my body weight and writhing in pain.”           

 “Sounds like a blast,” he chucked.           

“Oh, yeah, it was like a party in the toilet,” Y/n responded and chuckled when Hyde made a face. “How was yours?”           

 “Well, you know, it was fine,” he responded.             

“You and Eric work things out?”            

“Yeah. He’s still not happy about it, but he seems to—or trying to at least—accept it. I made him see the bigger picture here.”           

 “Which is?”            

“Us doing it.”           

 “Steven!”            

He threw his head back laughing. “I’m kidding.”           

 “You better be,” she said and reached over, grabbing the ginger ale. She laid back into his side and took a sip. She hummed and set it in her lap.            “Thank you, Steven. This is probably the best thing anyone has ever done for me.”            

He smiled at her gently. “Anything for you, doll.”           

 “Awe that’s so cute,” Eric called from the staircase. “It makes me want to vomit.”            

Y/n scowled at him. “What do you want?”            

“Well, I wanted to talk to you,” he said and sat down in the opposite chair.            

“You want to yell at me again?”           

 “No,” he responded and looked at the ground. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted. I know I was an ass and I should’ve handled it better, but c’mon, my best friend and my sister, hooking up. I never thought that this would happen and to say I was shocked is an understatement.”           

 “I know,” she responded. “But you still said some pretty hurtful things, Eric, and you can’t take that back.”            

“I know and I wish I could. You’re my sister, the best one at that, and Hyde, you’re like a brother to me and I just…it hurt, okay? I can understand not wanting to tell anyone else, but to hide it from me? I felt like you couldn’t trust me.”            

Y/n cast her eyes down, feeling guilt. “I’m so sorry, Eric. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. Lying to you wasn’t easy for me.”

“Then why did you do it?”

 “How would you take it if we just straight up told you?”            “

Yeah, Forman, what would you have said if I straight up said, ‘I’m nailing your sister.’ I bet you still wouldn’t have taken that lightly.”           

 Eric shuttered at the thought. “Yeah, definitely wouldn’t have. But it still wouldn’t have been as bad as me catching you.”            

Y/n looked at her twin for a moment before letting out a groan. “Dammit, I hate it when you’re right.”           

 “Yeah, and it’s not like I’m not going to kill you or anything.”           

 “Well, to be fair you did try to disown us,” Hyde defended.            

“Okay, yeah, but I just didn’t want to look at you guys at the moment,” Eric said.           

 “But kicking us out of the group and the house was the logical answer?” Y/n squinted at him.            

“Yeah, not my finest moment,” he agreed and sat down next to Y/n, causing her to shift over. “I’m really sorry, Y/n. I hope you can forgive me.”            

Y/n looked at her brother, eyes getting all misty. “Only if you can forgive me.”            

Eric smiled at her. “C’mere little sister.” He brought her in and hugged her tight. 

Y/n reciprocated by wrapping her arms tightly. “I’m only two minutes younger.” 

“Still,” he chuckled. “Besides, if I don’t forgive you, then I won’t have a sister anymore.”           

 “We have Laurie,” Y/n responded, pulling away.           

 “Do you really want her close?”            

Y/n paused, pretending to think it over. “No, I really don’t.”           

 Eric chuckled. “Look, Y/n. I know I was a jerk, but you’re not only my sister, you’re my best friend and I don’t want anything to come between us.”            

Y/n nodded, smiling and wiped at her eyes. “Me too.”           

 “I’m still not entirely happy about you two and to be honest, I’m not sure if I ever will be, but I want you two to be happy and if it’s you two that make each other happy, then so be it. I just don’t want to see any of it.”            

“You got it,” Y/n responded, feeling lighter about the situation.           

 “I’m going to give you the same speech I gave Hyde,” Eric continued as Y/n’s eyebrows knitted together. “I’d never thought I’d have to say this to my sister about my best friend, but don’t hurt him. I may not be able to kick his ass, but I can for sure…try to kick yours.” As he was saying it, he knew it wasn’t true. Even if it was, he wasn’t going to do it anyway.         

Y/n cracked a wide smile, a smile that she hadn’t been able to muster for the last couple of days, and nodded. “Okay, bro. That sounds fair.”            

He turned to Hyde. “Just so you know, if you get her pregnant, I will have to find a new and interesting way to kick your ass.”           

 “Trust me, man, that ain’t gonna happen,” Hyde responded.            

“Yeah, we’re careful,” Y/n responded, adjusting herself to be laying against Hyde. Her stomach and back were starting hurt again and she was desperate to find some relief. Hyde threw an arm over her shoulders, bringing her closer. “Besides, Dad would literally stick his foot in both of our asses.”            

“And somehow, he’d still find a way to blame me,” Eric said.           

 “Hey, Y/n baby,” Fez called out, entering the basement. “How’re you feeling? You get my gifts?”           

 “Hi Fez,” Y/n greeted with a tiny smile. “I did, thank you. It was very nice of you, but I’m not feeling too much better.”            

“Sorry to hear that,” he responded.             

Y/n shrugged and snuggled deeper into Hyde’s side. “What’re you doing here anyway?”            

“Just wanted to come by and see how you were feeling,” he responded.            

 “No, you didn’t,” Hyde spit. “You came here to see if she was alone, didn’t you?”           

 Fez made a face at him. “What’re you talking about? No, I’m not!”            

“Yes you are!” he said and stood up. “Now, knock it off before I make you the first person to touch his chin to ass!”           

 Fez looked offended, placing his hand on his chest. “Have you been spying on me?!”           

 “Steven, honey, it’s not that big of deal,” Y/n said, trying to calm down the situation.           

 “Yeah, honey, listen to your lady,” Fez said, starting to get nervous.            

 “No, Y/n, he needs to understand respect,” he replied.           

 “I’m sure he gets it now,” Y/n said, signaling Fez to run now.            

“No, he doesn’t,” he responded. “If he—”            

He was cut off by the slamming of the door as Fez ran outside, away from him.           

 “He’s not getting away that easily,” Hyde commented before darting to the door.           

 “Hyde, no!” Y/n called after him. She jumped up from her seat, despite her stomach and head screaming at her.            

 Hyde ran out the door, causing it to slam against the wall. Y/n followed him out the door, ignoring the sudden faint feeling she had.            

“Steven, stop!” she called again, her voice weakened and wavering. She could see Hyde quickly gaining speed on Fez.            

 Fez screamed as Hyde tackled him to the ground on the Forman’s front lawn. Eric was behind Y/n in a flash, watching the scene in front of him unfold. Hyde struggling to get Fez in a choke hold, Fez fighting to get out of his grip, and Y/n yelling at him to stop.            

 “Steven, enough!” Y/n shrieked weakly, her voice quieting as the world started to spin, the edges of her vision darkening. “Steven, please…” 

Her vision darkened as she hit the ground, making the two boys suddenly stop to jerk their attention towards her. Eric dropped to the ground next to her.

“Y/n!” Steven shouted, letting Fez go and running over to her. “Y/n!”

 And that was the last thing she heard before she was swallowed by darkness.

Tags: @lieswithoutfairytales​ @mdittyz123​ @n-dg-wm​ @undead-sierra​ @random-thoughts-003​ @taysirene​

[adultswim2021]

Robot Chicken #37: “Day at the Circus” | October 29, 2006 – 11:30PM | S02E17

Nothin, and I mean NOTHIN, makes me drag my heels like watching Robot Chicken. I watched this using the method I described before of watching this during my lunch break in my car instead of eating food with life-giving nutrients. I literally drove away from my job and parked a few blocks away because while I mostly don't care what my co-workers think about me, I did not want to be “caught” watching Robot Chicken. The thought of this caused me to imagine myself as a huge ham, being cooked and served up by the small team of managers I deal with, while my co-workers devour me. My inner-monologue is preserved even though I’m completely cooked, and the entire time I’m thinking “hey cut it out!” and “I AM SECRETLY GAY”. I don't know what it means, but I thought it, and that's precious.

First a sketch making fun of some G.I. Joe guy who I guess only does snow stuff. They make fun of him. Do you get the joke? Remember that State sketch where the Justice League mocks Aquaman for only being able to talk to fish? It's like that, I guess. But... well, it's probably exactly as funny as that, and the only reason we like The State is because we associate it with youth. All not realizing that our lives would peak in 1997. Anyway, I didn't laugh at this.

There's a short one where everyone in Wizard of Oz barfs, and they all barf stuff that they are made of (the tin man barfs oil and gears, for example). Both the Strawman AND Dorothy barf straw, which I guess DEFINITELY reads as a joke about Dorothy sucking Strawman's dick? I GUESS? I don't know, I guess it makes enough sense. But it felt like a reach at the time, and I would've preferred that it was just interpreted as a weird anti-joke.

Thing Leaves the Family is about Thing from The Addams Family. I guess this might be my favorite sketch. You can see the punchline coming from a mile away, but this one is about as well-done as Robot Chicken gets.

There's a thing about a Leprechaun being at a bar trying to drink and people realizing they can catch him and get a pot of gold out of the deal. Meanwhile in a Leprechaun lair we see their pots of gold get depleted. One of them fills a pot with leprechaun shit. Actually you know what, this one's alright. The choice to make the shit green is pretty fun.

I also SORTA liked THE MEMORY GAME, a game show where players have to go through a cave filled with fatal booby traps, and the next player needs to simply remember what did the last player in in order to avoid all the traps, so the final winner only wins at the expense of several fatalities. Sold premise. Who was the first guy to do a sketch about a game show that kills it's contestants as punishment? Ernie Kovacs? Yes, actually, it's Ernie Kovacs. I'm pretending to not be sure about this but it's Ernie Kovacs. And I'm certain Terry Gilliam saw that sketch and ripped it off for the beginning of Time Bandits. Man, I love saying stuff I know about TV shows and movies.

Black Stallion sketch where a horse sounds like a black guy and accuses a white boy of racism. Eh!

The last sketch is about Oprah and Dr. Phil as buddy cops who use tactics used on the Oprah Show. That isn't a bad premise but this sketch grated on me. I guess I should give it up a little bit for the creative jokes but boy, I was ready for the episode to be over. My main beef with this show has always been that it seems far too pleased with itself at all times, so even when the jokes are good I still have to watch them be on Robot Chicken, which makes them bad.

And that's this one. It wasn't so bad I guess. Did I laugh? No.

MAIL BAG:

do you think adult swim should have picked up ren & stimpy's adult porno cartoon, and maybe the rest of the spike tv stable while they're at it

I so associate Nick & MTV toons as being a separate thing from Adult Swim that I don’t even have the imagination to picture such a thing. Ren & Stimpy on a TURNER-OWNED NETWORK?? Get real!

Also no, that show shouldn’t have been picked up by anyone

[wind-goddess-eri]

Lemons in the Hospital (Hannibal King x F!OC)

Okay, here me out. I was watching Blade and It was on my mind cause I’m weird. I made a little smut thing......Enjoy!

Warning ⚠️: mental hospital, death, abuse of power, needles are mentioned.

The Mental Institution seemed even gloomier today than usual in Nurse Stella Mercer's eyes. Granted that she worked in a hospital that not only took care of the physically, mentally and strangely disabled, but also for those with 'certain qualities'. Qualities like being vampires that were somehow disabled in some form or another, vampire slayers that couldn't work anymore, demons that passed as humans, like Nurse Mercer who was a half demon half human herself, that couldn't 'function properly' around human mortals. This place took care of not only humans, but the inhuman as well.

Working here made anyone's day gloomy but today the supply for candles as lighting only made it gloomier. The hospital was trying to cut back on using so much power so the main doctor ordered all the staff to use every candle available for light in rooms that didn't have light bulbs. The room Nurse Mercer was currently in was one of those rooms, filled with probably 100 candles or more out of reach of the three patients she had today. Running a hand through her light brown hair she sighed deeply at the sight before her.

There was Deacon, a vampire patient in here because of his mental disability he'd gotten a while back during one of his hunts in Africa. With his medium length hair that was pulled into a ponytail and his toned body he seemed to stick out like a sore thumb because his posture was that of a child's, clearly not looking like he was 'normal'. His case was so severe that he only had two options; Let his vampire clan kill him so the secret would be safe or come here, where all abnormality was welcome, even to humans who were the doctor's favorite type of patients. Deacon had somewhat of a bipolar personality; in one moment he'd act like a child and seemed to take everything around him like any child would. Other times though, when he was really mad he'd claim he was going to break out and kill as many humans as he pleased. Since he was a vampire, the staff took him seriously. If anyone tried to take away his bagged blood (which was how they fed their vampires) he'd become violent, so no one bothered him too much. It was only bagged blood, no harm no foul. He was calm today. None of the human staff were allowed to be near the vampires. Even if they worked at the institution, no human was allowed to know of supernatural beings. It wasn't hard to keep that secret when there were mind wipers working in the building.

Hannibal King was a curious case really. Clearly the man was human, with his tanned skin, muscled chest and arms but what gave him away most was his scent. His reflexes weren't that bad either. The ruggedy look he always had on also gave away that he was an aging mortal. With short cropped hair and eyes that just pulled anyone in he would have made a very impressive vampire, which he claimed he once was until he found a cure. No one but Danica believed he was ever really a vampire because none had ever changed back into a human. Danica knew all his thoughts and knew he was telling the truth. The fact that Hannibal had chosen to become human again scored him high in Danica's book, though Danica wished she could have that choice. Hannibal King had once been a human vampire hunter or slayer but had gotten into a bad accident on a mission with the daywalker Blade that had paralyzed him from the waist down. All he could now move was the waist up and was bound in a wheelchair for the remainder of his life. He seemed to take life as a handout; whatever he got he deserved. Sometimes though, he would write in his notebook with such vigor that he'd look like he was cursing the world for what he'd lost. Hunting was all he knew. The fierceness in his eyes almost made Nurse Spenser fearful every time she was around him, which was strange to her. Like somehow he'd be less human than what he was. Strangely though, him and his roommates Deacon and Danica, both vampires, got along well.

Casually Stella's eyes looked over at Danica Talos. She had black, messy hair with golden, yet unfocused eyes. Her case was simple, yet just as hard to believe as Deacon because it was hard to damage a vampire, let alone make it permanent. She was blind from an incident that was so freaky it actually blinded her permanently and nothing could be done. Since she'd also gone partially deaf she couldn't be allowed into the world on her own.

These three were now Stella's permanent patients. Only about four times before today had she actually taken care of them in the past six months she'd worked here; mainly because she'd only substituted for their main care giver before but now she'd been assigned as their permanent Nurse. Mrs. Cole, their old nurse, had passed away. Now she was responsible for merely three patients at all times instead of different patients every day. They seemed to like her enough to not complain. Deacon claimed that she was like an older sister to him, Danica always expressed her gratitude for Stella 'clean thoughts' by playing songs for her on her keyboard for her when she asked. Hannibal King always let Stella read his journal entries about his life before he came here. He wouldn't let any other read his stuff and he used violence to enforce that. He may have been in a wheelchair, but the man was still deadly.

As Stella gazed about the small common room the three of them shared, she saw that Deacon was playing with his toys (clearly mentally five years old right now), Danica was playing her keyboard messing with melodies and Hannibal was staring out the window. Straightening out her uniform, Stella made her way over to Hannibal and started to wheel him away. "It's time for your bath, Hannibal," she whispered in his ear trying not to disturb Deacon and Danica even though both could clearly hear her. They were still vampires even if damaged ones. Stella took him to the entrance of his door and walked away for a moment or two.

Before she knew it even happened, Hannibal had grabbed her hand and looked her in the eyes. She'd never seen that look in them before and could not distinguish what it was. "Don't leave me," he whispered so quietly that she knew not even the others would hear. She walked back to him from her short distance, getting even closer with every step. With ease she removed his hand trying not to blush because as much as she didn't want to admit it, she thought he was too sexy for his own good. Sweetly she smiled at him. "I must Hannibal. I have to get everything ready for your bath." With that she walked away again. Not even four steps later she heard the sound of glass break. Quickly turning around she entered into his bedroom and found that he'd taken his night drinking glass and broke it. As she bent down to pick up the big broken pieces she felt his eyes staring at her. She ignored him for a moment but when she used the broom and dust pan to remove the little pieces and still felt his eyes on her she turned around to find him staring at her ass. Slowly she raised her left eyebrow at him until he noticed she was watching him watch her.

Finishing up with the broken glass Stella turned to head for the trash can in the other room then heard a 'thud'. Quickly dumping the shattered pieces of glass into the plastic purple bin she turned around to find the source of the sound. Before she even took two steps she saw Hannibal at the doorway crawling towards her. Having no clue as to what to make of his suddenly strange behavior, she did the logical thing; her job. Making sure not to walk over someone, she paced herself carefully and picked him up, making sure not to squeeze too tightly and crush him with her demon strength and put him in his wheelchair and rolled him to the bathroom.

Speak of the devil, right as she turned the water on in the tub to the right temperature Deacon came in with a goofy child-like smile on his face. "What are you doing Nurse Mercer?" he asked in a child-like way, his voice sounding innocent. His ruby red eyes gleamed of curiosity.

She didn't turn to him as she answered him, continuing to adjust Hannibal's bath water. "It's time for Hannibal's bath Deacon." The water was perfect now.

Unexpectedly, Deacon's voice took on a tone of humor. "Ha ha, Hannibal's a dirty boy! Hannibal's a dirty boy!" Before he could continue his chant, Nurse Mercer got up, took Deacon by the hand and led him back to the common room the three of them shared. "Where are we going, Stella?" his attention completely distracted.

"It's time to play with your army men, Deacon," she answered. While setting Deacon G.I. Joe in front of him, she noticed Danica was wandering around, as if she was searching for something. "Danica, are you looking for something?"

She paused where she was at. "Just keep staring at me so I can see through your eyes where the bathroom is. I need to discard this shirt and puke in the toilet." "Why do you need to do those things?" Stella asked politely.

"For one thing, Deacon poured something all over me. Secondly, he made me swallow some of Hannibal's human food." With understanding she took Danica to the bathroom, ignoring her protests and led her directly to the toilet.

Quickly unbuttoning her shirt, Stella turned to leave. "Are you ok from here?" she asked again.

"Fine, thank you, Stella," she whispered as he regurgitated into the toilet. She hoped Danica wouldn't miss the bowl by accident SOMEHOW. She was a vampire after all.

When Stella came back to the other bathroom where Hannibal was, she noticed that he had already stripped down butt-naked on the floor. Using her massive strength, she picked him up and set him in his bath water. The soap slipped from her hand as she'd reached for it and dropped on top of his legs. Eventually getting to his back after she'd made her way from the legs up. Out of nowhere, she heard him speak. "You're very pretty, Stella," he whispered very quietly. Momentarily she stopped washing him and looked into his eyes, searching for the truth in them; and she found it.

Then she shrugged and continued washing him, remembering that this was her job. "I'm serious. You are beautiful," he continued, his voice a little louder than the first time. Again she shrugged, trying not to blush (which wasn't working). Her eyes did not meet his this time as she could tell he was waiting for her to answer but she remained silent. After cleaning his neck she reached for the shampoo and proceeded with going after his succulent, thick and short brown hair. As her fingers dug the cleansing product into his scalp, moving through the soft hair her attention was so caught up that she didn't even see him reach for her until she'd been pulled into the tub with him.

Too shocked to do anything else, she merely got out of the tub. In doing this, she'd noticed that both her white pants and undergarments were completely soaked. Slightly irritated she grabbed two towels, placed them next to the wheelchair, picked Hannibal up, put him back into it and placed the towels over his crotch. "Bath time is over." The words came out harsher than she'd meant them to be but he ignored her anyway.

Wheeling him to his room she heard him speak again. He seemed to be getting on her nerves a lot today. "You should change," he suggested. Apparently he seemed to not notice her predicament of having no extra clothes.

"Uh, no Hannibal. I don't have spare clothes here." There, that was logical, wasn't it?

Unfortunately he wouldn't let it go. "Just grab a towel. No use walking around in wet clothes." The way he said it was so calm that as he said this it actually seemed to make sense to her. So she did. Once she'd removed her wet clothes and the towel was around her waist (her shirt still on) she started to dry him off, sadly attempting to NOT stare at his crotch. Yes he was one of the sexiest beings alive to her but just because she was his nurse didn't mean she could just ogle his private parts while changing him.

While she was drying off his chest he'd grabbed her so quickly behind her neck and kissed her passionately. For a lack of better judgment, she merely gave in to his power he'd had over her from the moment she saw him, sitting in his window. She was his if he wanted her because somehow, this man had claimed her half demonic heart even though they hardly knew each other. "I've loved you since the first time I saw you, Stella." he whispered into her ear when he went to take a breath. This got her heart racing faster than it had ever gone before in her life. He pulled her face away from him so she'd look into his eyes. The lust and passion was evident in those brown orbs. "I don't care if you're half demon, I want you!"

With that he quickly unbuttoned her blouse and worked his magical hands over her skin, making sure to touch every inch of her flesh. For the first time in over twenty three years, she'd made a rash decision without thinking and just let her lust take over as she let him over power her body. Once the garment was removed he unclasped the front of her bra and released her breasts from their confines. His hungry mouth latched onto one of them, causing intense heat to build up in her lower abdomen. He taunted the tight nipple, making it hard as rock and just when she thought she couldn't take anymore, he moved to the other one, giving it as much attention as the one before. But she could only take so much torture. As the pressure built inside her she felt the need to create some friction, hoping it would ease some of the tension. Just as bare as the day she was born she rubbed her nude body against his slightly, only intensifying the build-up. Pushing him down against his mattress, she straddled his waist just above where she wanted him most.

His cock stood hard and firm, waiting for her make him sink deep within her. She kissed up and down his chest, tasting every inch of him before returning to his lips. Those lips looked like they needed a good sucking and she was happy to be the sucker to taste those babies. The pressure of his hands guiding her hips near his length brought back her fierce arousal. Without even another thought she rammed herself on his painfully erect cock. She couldn't wait for the foreplay; she needed a release as much as he seemed to need a good fuck. God only knew he looked like he needed one badly.

The feeling of his hard member inside her made her pant hard as she started to move fast, taking the lead instantly. Faster and faster she rocked her hips to match his as he used his arms to thrust up inside her, hitting that sensitive spot. Sweat started to pour over the both of them as they felt the tip of their orgasms. Bucking harder it was only seconds a few minutes later until they both completed the race to the finish with a mind-blowing, out of this world first rate orgasm.

Removing herself from on top of him she laid next to him, still not believing that they had just shared a passionate moment together and that he was in love with her. But as the seconds ticked by she started to believe because I DID happen. Both of their bodies were covered in sweat, the room smelled like sex, and the fact that they were both flushed pink only hardened the evidence.

Just as she was about to say something to break the silence that had been going on for several minutes there was a loud banging on his door. Apparently she'd locked it and forgot why at the moment. By the sound of the person's voice it was the doctor with his weird, raspy voice. "OPEN THE DAMNED DOOR!" he yelled. Not wanting to either upset the doctorshe quickly threw on her (now) dry clothes and helped Hannibal dress as fast as they could then opened the door with a smile. The look on his face showed his annoyance at once. "Why as the door locked?" he asked, using his calm voice suspiciously.

The answer came to her only that quickly because it was completely true. "Deacon was bothering Hannibal today so I locked the door while changing him so he'd have some privacy." Quickly her eyes darted to the movement of doctor's hand. "What's with the needle?" she asked, suddenly noticing how huge it was as he waved it around in his hand.

The doctor smiled evilly, like he always did. "It's time for Mr. King's check-up. Wouldn't want our little human to die on us, would we?"

Suddenly she noticed how eerily quiet it was. It was never this quiet, not when you had a vampire that never slept who thought he was five years old and another vampire who again never slept but played the keyboard almost constantly. Something felt wrong. "I'm just going to check on Deacon," she mumbled as she walked out of the room. Briskly walking to Deacon's room, what she saw made her heart stop cold. His body laid lifeless (more than normal) on the floor. His frame was perfectly still, flat on his stomach with a giant needle standing straight out from his spine. It was the same exact kind that Hannibal was going to be given.

Without another thought she raced back to Hannibal's room, not bothering to check on Danica, knowing that she was already dead. If the doctor was going to start killing off his patients, he would start off with the ones that would warn the others. In this case, it would have been Danica. At least she could have given a fair warning that would have alarmed Deacon, Hannibal and herself. Deacon would have probably just kept playing with his toys.

There he laid on his side, coughing and gasping on the floor, his life fading before her very eyes. NO! This couldn't be happening. Not when she'd finally found someone to love her just the way she was. She didn't know what to do since she had no clue what was in the needle so she started to freak out, pulling her hair and such. Kneeling next to him she took his pulse and found it almost non-existent. He only had seconds left to live. Pulling out the needle she was about to try and suck out the drugs he'd been given but his hand pulled her to his face. "Just let me die. Trust me," he whispered, a smile dancing his face she saw for the first time. And with that, the heart of Hannibal King, former evil-vampire slayer's heart stopped beating and he died.

[bqstqnbruin]

I wanna be like you

Alright y’all, I have 200 pages of reading to do by Tuesday, a paper and two discussion posts to do by tomorrow, and another three papers due by Tuesday so naturally I wrote a fic about Brock based on this photo. It’s shorter than what I’ve been posting recently (~1.6k I think?) but I still low key love this. 

I hope y’all like it!

___________________

Your very first family vacation was supposed to be relaxing, fun, and was definitely a much needed break from the reality of work and having to constantly clean up after a toddler and your husband. It was not supposed to start every morning with the same argument and whining from Brock when he knew what the outcome was going to be anyway. 

You were getting Noah dressed, your two-year-old rugrat squirming around while trying and failing to fight the fact that you were making him wear a shirt while Brock finished up in the bathroom. 

Brock comes out, towel around his waist, hair wet and shaggy as he sits down on the bed, ignoring the fact that he was now getting the clothes you laid out for him slightly wet. 

“Babe, get up,” you tell him, lifting him off the bed as Noah started jumping around the room. “Noah, don’t do that, you’ll get hurt.”

“Why?” Brock asks. Gesturing to the clothing on the bed, he groans. “Why are you making us do this?” He hated, more than anything, that you were making him match with his son while your outfit was completely different. For someone on an NHL team where the only difference between what they were wearing was the number and name on their backs, he hated matching with other people. 

“So if he gets lost, it’ll be easier to remember what he’s wearing,” you tell Brock, getting Noah down from the bed so he doesn’t jump on it and hurt himself. 

“I’m an adult, why can’t you let me wear what I want?” he whines, going over to his suitcase to pick out another outfit. 

“Do it,” you shrug, knowing he wouldn’t win, “For every single outfit in your suitcase, Noah here has a matching one.” You were so nervous about Noah wandering off while you were out for the day that you almost canceled the trip to Austin, Texas, multiple times. Your mom had told you that when you were little on family vacations, she would dress you and your brother all in the same color since it made it easier to describe you or to find you since she could look down and remember what you were wearing. Since Brock told you that you were in charge of packing, that meant you were in charge of Noah and Brock matching. “Babe, come on, he loves wearing stuff like you do. Remember the first time he went to one of your games with a jersey on and he got so excited?”

Brock looks at you, unconvinced, even though you had this same conversation yesterday. “Noah, honey, don’t you want Daddy to wear this shirt?”

“My shirt!” he yells, giggling and trying to grab it from you. 

“See? Please?” you beg, sticking out your bottom lip. “For me? For Noah?”

He rolls his eyes, a smile covering his face as he grabs the shirt from you, “Fine, but only because,” he stops, kissing you, “you and him are the most important people to me.” 

You can’t help but smile as he goes back into the bathroom to get ready, leaving you to keep Noah occupied until he is. He comes out of the bathroom, dressed in a white shirt and blue shorts, just like Noah. “Noah, look what Daddy has on!” you say, turning your son around to face his father. 

“Daddy!” he yells, running towards him with his arms up, signaling that he wanted to be picked up. 

Brock lifts him up off the group, Noah squealing in delight as Brock lifts him above his own head, bringing him down to kiss him all over his little face while Noah’s small arms wrap around his neck in a hug. 

“Aww, my boys,” you coo, loving the sight of Brock looking at his son with so much love in his eyes, while Noah looked at his dad like he was the best man in the world. “Are we ready to go?” 

Brock nods, grabbing what he needs to go explore the city, you taking what you need for Noah. “Noah, do you want Mommy to push you or do you want to walk with Daddy?” he asks. Noah buries his face in Brock’s shoulder, Brock letting out a laugh. 

The three of you leave the room, ready to go and wander around, your mind going crazy at the thought of Noah wandering off somehow. “Babe, are you ok?” Brock asks, seeing the worried look that was covering your face.

“What if he walks away from us at some point and we lose him?” you panic, rubbing Noah’s back as he starts to fall asleep in Brock’s arms.

“Do we need to put him on one of those weird child leashes?” he asks, clearly unamused at the fact that this was something you were genuinely scared about.

“No, those are creepy. Let’s put him in the stroller and go find some food?” you ask, trying to take your mind off what was probably your worst nightmare. 

“My buddy said Kerbey Lane was good, especially with Noah, here,” Brock suggests, using one arm to hold your now sleeping son and the other to reach for his phone to figure out how to get there.

“And then what about that toy museum? I’m sure he’d love that,” you tell Brock, who nods as he hands you his phone, taking your hand and leading you out. 

Noah wakes up on your walk to breakfast, squirming out of Brock’s arms and begging to be put down. “Do you want to sit in the stroller?” Brock asks him, only to get a fierce head shake ‘no’ from his son. Brock puts him down, letting him walk. Noah’s small hand can only wrap around one of Brock’s fingers as he holds on to his father’s pointer finger.

In true Brock fashion, he lets Noah believe that he’s strong enough to drag his daddy down the street by the one finger, Noah giggling as his small legs let him run as fast as they can carry him. Listening to Brock encourage his son the way he was, his laugh ringing through the street made your heart burst with love. 

You get to Kerbey Lane, ordering food and getting it in a thankfully short amount of time considering how much Noah was squirming around ready to eat, both you and Brock clearly needing coffee in an IV just to be able to keep up with the amount of energy your two-year-old seems to have. You sit there, enjoying yourself, admiring the way Brock’s smiles reached his eyes, nearly closing at the sight of Noah putting his pancake on his face, probably trying to make it into a mask. Brock takes the second pancake while Noah is looking at you, tearing pieces up to make holes for Noah’s eyes, nose, and mouth, sliding it back in front of him before he has the chance to notice.

Noah shrieks with excitement, putting the mask pancake on his face and sticking his tongue out, sending the three of you into what was probably an inappropriately loud fit of laughter considering how many other people were around you. 

“So what is at this toy museum?” Brock asks, paying your bill and gathering everything up to leave. 

“There’s a bunch of toys on display, but I’m assuming you were smart enough to know that by the name,” you tell, him strapping Noah into his stroller, his feet kicking up and down as he tries to fight his way out of the buckles. “But they also have a bunch of stuff people can play with like old arcade games and stuff.” 

“Hear that buddy?” Brock says, bending down to Noah, “Sounds like you get to play with cool toys today! Way better than what we have at home,” he tells him, looking up at you with a smirk on his face.

“Babe, whose fault is that? You paid for all those toys,” you fire back. He rolls his eyes, putting his arm around you and kissing the side of your temple as you set off for the museum. The entire walk there, Brock had his arm around you. It felt so, you don’t know, domestic? Is that even the right word? He was gone so many times during the year that you were often on your own when it came to Noah. Having him pretty much attached to your and your son was a much-welcome change to compared to the rest of the year. You loved it, even if he was annoying about wearing the same thing as Noah. 

You get to the museum, pulling Noah out of the stroller and resting him on your hip as you start to wander the building. Brock seemed to be in his element, acting more like a child than his son while looking at the vintage toys. You get to a set of action figures, Brock going crazy over how many looked like the ones his dad had described to him when he was younger. 

“Look, Noah,” Brock says, pointing to the superheroes, “You can be like them one day. Or like these guys,” he points to the G.I. Joes, “Or anything you want.”

Corny, you know, but you could help but melt at how Noah’s eyes lit up at Brock’s words. “I wanna be Daddy,” Noah says, reaching for his father who takes him in open arms. 

You swear Brock’s eyes glass over with the beginning of tears, as he kisses Noah on the forehead. “And look, you’re already dressed like Daddy. You’re almost there, bub,” you say, rubbing your son’s back. You send Brock a look that says, ‘I told you so,’ him mouthing back, ‘thank you.’

[stuckylibrary]

Group Ask 181

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Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

agustdynasty said:

Hello you lovely lovely people, I’m looking for a fic that I was in the middle of reading but couldn’t finish because one of those annoying “you have a virus” webpages that it would not let be back out of . It took place during the war and I believe that the commandos knew about stucky’s relationship. There is a scene in a church where an orphan child I believe asks them to put on a performance of Snow White and Bucky and Steve have to kiss since Bucky is Snow White. Thank you so much!

Anon 1 said:

Hi!! I’m trying to find a fic I read a while ago. Steve was an Omega and is set up to live with Alpha Bucky. It’s in a modern setting and they never met each other as kids. And they get really domestic and it’s super cute. Sorry I don’t remember much about the story

emmalostinwonderland and possibleplatypus sent in Season of all things* by Claudia_flies (complete | 26,466 | E) *chose not to warn

Anon 2 said:

Lost an au fic where Bucky was a SHIELD agent but Steve has still been frozen and Steve was lying/had designation problems in a D/S or A/B/O world. Bucky is an alpha and Steve is pretending to be but it makes him struggle a lot and they jerk off in the showers together because that’s normal for alphas/doms but Steve accidentally marks Bucky and it’s a huge insult in their culture so he’s offended and does it back and miscommunications until he figures out Steve is really an omega/sub

erika55wolf said:

Hi! I'm trying to find a post-winter solder fic where Bucky is on the run or homeless and doesn't even remember who he is. He was learning to be a person again and goes by the name Steve for a while because that's the only thing he remembers and feels strongly about. It was quite long, don't remember if multi-chaptered. It's possible Bucky was discovering he was gay and had sex for money, though I might be mixing it with another fic. Hope you can help!!! Thank you for everything you do

princessniitza sent in The Needle and the Killing Done* by spitandvinegar (restricted, oneshot |  7,549 | M) *rape/noncon

Anon 3 said:

Hey y'all! I read a fic a while ago where Steve painted all the avengers as saints or something along those lines and I can't find, I don't know if the author deleted it. Do you know any works like that?

Anon, princessniitza and skarabrae-stone sent in Ain’t No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down)* by spitandvinegar  (restricted, complete | 107,076 | M) *past rape/noncon, heed the tags

cyndagoaway said:

hey! haven’t looked at tumblr in a while and i was so sorry to hear about your last account! i’m looking for a fic so if you could help me out it would be cool. it’s a college au i’m pretty sure, bucky is a prostitute that meets steve at a bar, he’s hooking to pay off his student loans or something. so steve picks him up for the night and the next day when he starts college bucky is in his science class and they’re partners. sorry if it’s kinda vague.

Anon sent in Ain't No Rest Universe  by Kellyscams (series, ongoing | 314,093 | E)

Anon 4 said:

Ok this might be a bit vague but there was a fic I read a while ago where Steve and bucky were friends and then bucky moved away. Then Steve's looking for a flatmate and bucky comes to live with him. I seem to remember Steve had a stepfather that hurt his mum? Maybe guy called victor or smth? Thank you so much!

keepyourelectriceyeonme sent in G.I. Joes and 2AM Diners by OhCaptainMyCaptain (complete | 100,481 | E)

foolhappy said:

I’m looking for a fic I read a long time ago (I think just here on tumblr in a post?) where winter soldier Bucky doesn’t remember Steve but has habits left over from fighting alongside him, like keeping stuff in his pockets on one side, or describing things by shape instead of color because Steve was colorblind. Can you please help me find it again? 😭🙏

telvian said:

So I'm thinking my ask got lost in the move, or tumblr ate it. I'm looking for a fic with Viking bucky who falls in love with steve who is unknowingly the heir to some kind of irish land. He has a sheild birthmark and currently pierce is ruling his land. Bucky finds steve working in a brothel. Natasha is adopted by bucky after she tried to pickpocket him. Bucky is working on Thor's ship. Bucky is one of many sons to a Jarl, I believe this is shown at the start of the story. Thanks in advance!

agentseventyfive said:

Hey there. Thanks so much for all your hard work. Can you help me find a fic please. Bucky is staying in Clint’s apartment. Either injured or in recovery. He’s finding people interactions hard but starts to bond with Clints dog; sleeping on the sofa with the dog lying on him. Steve turns up & I think sleeps beside him on an air mattress on the floor? I’ve looked through the Lucky (Hawkeye) searches but the dog may not have been tagged despite having a big role. Thanks.

Anon 5 said:

Hi! I've been looking for this fic for almost an hour & it's driving me crazy, I was hoping you guys could help. So the details might be a bit off but it was shrunkyclunks. Bucky and Steve meet at a coffee shop where Becca works. It's Dom/sub and Bucky is a history(?) grad student (or some type of student) who ends up writing about captain america/the avengers and he ends up with a grant to open his own museum about the avengers. I think it also has Sharon&Wanda in a background relationship.

Anon 6 said:

hello there! I'm looking for a fic I read a while ago. It's post tws, bucky goes by James I believe but isn't really recovering the way they all hoped. Something magic happens and James somehow erases himself out of existence (?) So that Steve gets the old Bucky back. Somewhere at the end they get James back and Bucky goes back to his own time. I remember there was a scene in which Bucky enters James' old room and it's covered in papers and there's a gun with one bullet near the bed.

princessniitza, noneofusthesame, skarabrae-stone and drjezdzany sent in Memory* by orphan_account (oneshot | 23,934 | T) *chose not to warn

Anon 7 said: (past HTP)

There's a fic I lost where Bucky can't get off on being touched in any "inappropriate" zones because of past htp, and he can only orgasm when Steve touches him in innocent places (like arms, shoulders, etc) and praises him. Do y'all know what I'm talking about? Thanks!

keepyourelectriceyeonme sent in Need to Mean It, Concede It* by hjbaltimore (oneshot | 2,758 | M) *HTP

Anon 8 said:

Hello! I'm looking for this post-tws fic in which bucky moves into a friendly neighborhood before he meets steve again. i remember his neighbours were a lesbian couple and a woman he'd see run past every day. there was also some colourful clothing involved and a dog i think.

Anon sent in A Year in the Life of Sarge’s Person by Angst_BuriTTo, BlueSimplicity (complete | 189,125 | E)

Anon 9 said:

Hello :) I have been trying to find a fic, where the main theme is Bucky's arm and spine being operated on, so to speak, in order for him to recover after WS. I remember Tony putting together the best of the best surgeons from all over the world. I've searched through my bookmarks and my ao3 history but nothing jumps out. I remember something about Steve and Wilson finding Bucky being jumped near a lake i NY, but I'm not sure its the same fic. Can you help? Thank you.

drjezdzany and noneofusthesame sent in Thawed Out* by auburnnothenna (auburn), eretria (complete | 159,341 | E) *heed the tags!