#i can never pick anything i stg

[aew-kun]

I'm gonna be so real rn I wanna watch a Star wars film but can't because I can't fucking pick one 💀

I wanna watch Clone Wars movie (I've seen it several times this week and that can't be healthy) 😂

Wanna watch AOTC & ROTS (Anakin, Padme and Obi Wan 🙌🏻🙏🏻 - don't want ROTS to end the way it does tho lmao)

Phantom menace (actually isn't my favourite but Qui Gon is amazing)

A new hope (it's been watched so many times and due to wanting to watch the others I can't commit to it this time-)

ANY OF THE NEW TRIO BECAUSE ITS PRIDE MONTH AND STORMPILOT. 😭

So yea- instead I'm gonna do everything related to Star Wars but pick a damn film 💀

↓

The worst part is that I still have projects like Rogue one & Solo that I haven't even seen yet- 😶 AND THERES SHOWS I COULD EITHER WATCH OR REWATCH-

[girlboypersonthingy]

valentines day with lucifer pleaseee

YAASSS IM SUCH A LUCIFER SIMP *bangs on table* I love him so much, it’s a problem. Like look at him… 🥹 thanks for the request and ENJOY!

(I don’t own this picture)

Lucifer x reader- Valentine’s Day 🤍

Whether you two have been together for 3 weeks or 3 centuries, he will ask you to be his valentine every. single. year.

Baby boy is such a hopeless romantic I stg

Goes all out too! Would never just get you flowers and chocolates. From the king of hell?! No way. Only the absolute best for his love.

In this case, this is your very first Valentine’s Day together!!! D’AAAWWWWW

You come home/back to the hotel the day before valentines and there’s red and pink balloons every where, rose petals all over the ground, the lights are dim and soft. Very much a romantic movie scene type thing.

“(Y/N)~” Lucifer calls out to you sweetly, softly as he watches you look around at all the new decor.

When he finally has your attention, he holds his gloved hand out to you, beckoning you to come to him.

You can’t help but smile as you run to hug him. He laughs softly against you before he pops the question, his arms gently squeezing you against him.

“(Y/N)? Will you be my valentine, sweetheart?” And all you can do is laugh and hold him even closer.

“Oh, Luci~ Of course I will!”

OBVIOUSLY this dork makes you a cool ass duck as a gift. It’s one that really relates to you, has something to do with your looks or personality or an inside joke between the two of you. It’s special just for you ��

Def wants to take you on a nice date somewhere. Maybe a fancy restaurant, maybe to a bar, maybe a coffee shop for some caffeine and sweets.

Def asks you what you want to do and leaves the choice to you. He’s fine with whatever as long as he can hold your hand and give you kisses every 2 seconds so often.

DEFINITELY picks you up in a fancy ass car with a chauffeur and champagne and everything!

Whatever you decide to do, he’s sooooo distracted the whole time. There’s so much on his mind rn and it’s all different thoughts about you, most of them innocent 😈

I mean how is he supposed to keep his thoughts 100% clean and innocent when you dressed so nicely for your valentines date and you keep laughing extra loud at his jokes and blushing bright red at every compliment he shoots your way.

Of course he dresses to the nines as well. He looks great in white, don’t get me wrong. But him in a deep red suit with pink accents for valentines?!,!!??!,? PLZ 😍

He also loves the way people stare when you two go out together. Sure, it’s not totally conventional for the king of hell, Lucifer himself, to be so deeply in love with someone of your status but that’s what really bonds you two. It’s not some arrangement or a deal made for your soul or anything besides true love and attraction for each other.

He loves and trusts you so much, you’re so different from everyone else who fights for his attention.

And you’re just thanking your lucky stars, wondering how the hell you pulled him. He’s so perfect omfgggg

He is sure to ask you if everything is to your liking, how you’re feeling, what you want to do next. He’s very observant and considerate.

It’s hard to even eat or drink or whatever you’re trying to focus on bc he keeps staring at you and holding your hand and winking at you Everytime you guys make eye contact.

Don’t get me wrong! He’s lovey dovey and super sweet all the time but on this holiday of romance and love, he’s going 1000 times harder!

He would totally take you back to his house to finish off your romantic evening.

Probably puts on some music and takes off his coat to get more comfy.

Offers you a drink and goes to make it himself, adding some cute little garnish to it just to be fancy for you.

Sits on the couch in the living room with you and keeps his hands on you in some way. Touching your thigh, holding your hand, rubbing your arm or your back.

Proceeds to talk your ear off about everything and anything as his hands roam your body subconsciously.

Luci definitely talks a lot, rambles on and on to you all the time. Hope you’re a good listener ;) he doesnt have many other loved ones to talk to you so you get to hear it all

He talks so much he probably often tells you the same story over and over again. You tell him “Yes, Luci. You told me this already.” with a sweet smile at least once a day.

Tries to kiss you but accidentally bumps his head into yours instead.

Now you’re both laughing so loud, blushing so bright red and can’t maintain eye contact for more than a second or two.

He probably cracks a joke to ease the tension in the room too. And even worse, it’s some lame dad joke or a pun lmaoooo

Leans in again, much slower this time. His eyes flutter shut and he purses his lips as he approaches.

His kiss is scorching hot but so so soft.

Maybe you guys have kissed before, maybe not. But this kiss hits different. Maybe it’s the Valentine’s Day sweetness in the air, maybe it’s because he’s so goofy and silly and comfortable with you all the time, maybe it’s the drinks you’ve had tonight, maybe all three?

But this kiss…is the most passionate you’ve ever shared with him.

[roses-for-rosalyn]

Hey sweetheart, I have this idea about cop!Ellie and cop!reader I've never shared bc I'm so shy to ask, but if you are open to write about it here it is.(sorry if something doesn't make sense inglish is not my first lenguage)

Well Ellie and reader are work partners and they don't really like each other because Ellie is kinda mean?(she is the director btw) but there's a tension between them anyways. So they have a night shift together and on the way in the car the reader begins to flirt, like touching ellie's thigh, and she stops in a field and fucks the reader brains out<33

-💌

This took forever but I hope I did your idea justice!

a/n: sorry I haven’t written anything in so long, life is crazy

Ellie x reader

Wc: 3k (roughly)

Minors dni 🔞 (I will jump through your screen and poke you in the eyes I stg)

CWs: police officer! Ellie and reader, play girl Ellie, fem reader, cop stuff idk, enemies to lovers (ish?), thigh riding, overstim, oral (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), multiple orgasms

—

As a small town cop things rarely became dangerous, so on the rare occasion things did go awry no one was really prepared. You got a call about a car speeding through town at about 90 miles an hour. It quickly becomes a chase with Williams at the wheel. Before she even starts catching up to the car you both begin bickering on what roads to take to catch up and who can read the license plate better. The world becomes a blur as the car picks up speed, the roaring of the engine and the sound of the sirens make it hard to hear anything.

You attempt to shout over the noise, “Williams we might be able to catch them if we take-”

“Shutthefuckup I know what I’m doing!” She yells back even louder, more irritated because you dared tell her what to do. She didn’t even let you finish and she missed the turn that would have taken you ahead of the car to block their path.

“Williams we’re gonna lose ‘em.” You couldn’t convince her, you’re not sure anyone could have. The car takes a sudden turn and she misses it, she quickly reverses and turns down the dirt road only for the car to disappear from sight. She tries to make a few turns but it’s useless, these roads went in every direction with thick woods surrounding them. Even townies got lost in there.

She slows the car down eventually coming to a stop in the middle of the road and quietly mutters “Fuck.” under her breath.

“Maybe you should have listened to the directional advice from someone who was fucking born here instead of trying to do everything yourself.” You can’t help but notice you scolded her like a primary school teacher, but she makes it so hard when she acts like this.

“Please I don’t need a fucking ‘I told you so’ talk right now.” She huffs.

“I hope you know this is completely your fault, I can’t fucking believe-”

“I swear to god if you keep talking I’m going to kick you out of this goddamn car.” She turns and looks at you straight in the eye, challenging you. Her tone is eerily calm. You narrow your gaze but say nothing, turning to look straight ahead. And with that she drives you both back to the station, defeated with only half of the criminal's license plate.

- -

Patrol partners are supposed to be friends- Or at least friend-ly. That’s what anyone would assume, you have to spend every day together, not getting along would just result in various inconvenient miscommunications and misunderstandings.

Yeah, well you weren’t that lucky. Your patrol partner is Ellie Williams aka “Williams” according to her various male coworkers. Her female coworkers tended to lean more towards nicknames like “whore” or “slut” considering she hooked up with a couple of them and then acted like she barely knew them at work the next day and did it all over again. She had to start finding hookups outside the station last month because all her go-tos had refused her unless she wanted something serious. On top of that the few that she got with turned the rest of the girls against her, all she had left was you and all the guys at the station- and you didn’t really count since you were forced to be with her. This meant recently she was particularly irritable considering she couldn’t find a lot- if any- women to relieve any of her tension, so patrolling with her for the past 30 days has been hell.

On a more positive note it made gossiping with your coworkers over coffee the best part of your day. They would talk about their hookups which would inevitably lead back to shit talking Williams- which you would enthusiastically participate in considering how she treated you on the job. However they all agreed that they tolerated it for as long as they did because the sex was good. And you believed them because they had to put up with some crazy bullshit from her. A tiny part of you yearned for them to explain just how good it was, but you’d never ever give in to that curiosity.

Williams- on the rare occasion she would say anything- was mean, she would make snide comments all the time no matter what task you were taking on. She had some sort of superiority complex because she was- admittedly- very good at her job. She had transferred from some big city to your small town station and she had much more experience. She was incredibly skilled at taking people down when she needed to. However, compared to her old job, barely anything happens here. When something did happen she would insist on taking over the task almost every single time, the only thing she couldn’t trump you in was de-escalation. She was terrible at communication and that was most of the job. Calls would mostly be noise complaints or welfare checks, so you took the lead for those and it drove her crazy. She couldn’t stand being inferior to anyone, especially on the job. So you were squabbling constantly.

And for some reason tonight she was in a particularly bad mood. You’re stationed on the side of the road, keeping watch for anyone disobeying any road safety laws and Williams is silent. Not particularly unusual, but her body language was odd, she was weirdly tense. She sat fidgeting with her hands, picking at her cuticles, occasionally glancing up if she heard a car. Nothing in you wanted to show you cared at all for her, because you didn’t, but at this point you were so bored you didn’t care if you started one of your usual squabbles.

“Something wrong Williams?” You tentatively ask.

“ ‘m fine, just tired.” she says, still not glancing up.

“You seem offly tense for a tired person.” You try to push her a bit.

She finally looks up at you, her expression remaining neutral “Considering your observations, you really think now’s a good time to test me sweetheart?” God you hated when she called you that, she refused to refer to you by your last name, always resorting to some condescending nickname.

You roll your eyes, just as you were about to respond a staticky voice interrupts, asking for anyone available for a call about a noise complaint about two minutes away. Ellie picks up the walkie and calls in saying she could take it and starts the car.

You drive there in silence and to no one’s surprise it’s Mrs. Taylor. She frequently calls at night whenever she hears her teenage neighbors so much as talk loud enough for her to hear. And every time she would make you both walk over to them and ask them to quiet down.

This time though when you got out of the car you could hear muffled music coming from the neighbor’s all the way from Mrs. Taylor’s lawn. You walk up to her door, Williams following silently, and knock gently a couple of times. You hear soft shuffling, a lock clicking and then the door opens revealing the grumpy old woman’s tired face. She’s wearing a long dusty pink robe, striped pajama pants and ratty slippers, clearly she had been recently woken up by the noise.

“Hello Mrs. Taylor.” You smile politely.

“Hello dear.” She smiles back at you, but falters for a moment when she spots your partner, refusing to acknowledge her presence. She used to babysit all the kids in the neighborhood, you were always her favorite. She treated everyone else like they were some sort of pest, especially outsiders.

“Neighbors bothering you again?” You already knew the answer, but you felt the need to be polite.

“I can’t sleep with all that ruckus, rotten children they are. Too bad too, they used to be the sweetest when they were little.” She shook her head.

“Alright we’ll get it all sorted out, you can go back to bed.” You nod your head.

The old woman smiles before reaching forward and pinching your cheek while saying “You’re so good to me dear. Come over for dinner some time so I can make it up to you.”

“Just doing my job ma'am.” You reassure her.

“Well, goodnight. Call me tomorrow morning and we’ll sort something out.” She begins shuffling backwards, and grabs the door handle.

“Good night Mrs. Taylor.” You wave at her and she closes the door.

“God you’re unbelievable.” Ellie scoffs from behind you.

“What?” you turn around to face her.

“Would it kill you to be nice to me like that once in a while?” For the life of you you could not figure out where this was coming from.

“You have to earn it.” You retort, while beginning to walk to the neighbors house. Ellie just huffs and jogs a bit to catch up to you, god forbid you get ahead of her in any way.

You make your way to the house, the bass rattling your teeth by the time you're on the front stoop. Ellie takes her usual spot behind you and you knock loudly, bashing your fist against the door. Hopefully someone hears so you don’t have to make a scene, they weren’t bad kids. Sure enough the music turns off and the door opens slowly revealing a set of scared, round eyes.

“Hey Kelly.” You knew her well from the past complaints, she was pretty polite especially for a teenager. The poor girl was practically shaking. “You probably know why we’re here.” She nods slowly. “Ok, so just do us a favor and turn your music down so we don’t get another call from Mrs. Taylor alright?” you say gently, knowing when you’re in uniform everything about you was intimidating enough without you having to yell.

“Th-that’s it?” She asks, her whole body shaking with adrenaline at this point.

“Yup, just make sure this doesn’t happen again. Shouldn’t have the volume that high anyway, it’s bad for your hearing.” You smile, “Probably don’t want to go deaf by the time you’re 20.”

Kelly just nods again “O-ok thank you. We’ll keep it down, promise.”

“Alright have a good night, stay out of trouble.” You turn away and Ellie does the same.

The walk back to the car is silent except for the steady hum of cicadas. You’re about to put your seatbelt on when Ellie says “So what do I have to do?”

You pause your movements, “What?”

“What do I have to do to earn it?” When you still look confused she elaborates “You being nice to me. What do I have to do to earn that?”

“I don’t know. With the way you treat me it’s almost like you enjoy me being mean to you.” You let out a dry laugh.

She slowly leans towards you, “Oh, I do.” She says, her tone changing completely, her voice becomes raspy and deep, almost like a whisper and a smirk tugs at her lips. “I love making you mad, but something tells me you’re even more delightful when you’re all sweet like that.”

“Williams what-” She leans even closer, inches away from your face and suddenly you forgot everything that wasn’t Ellie. You couldn’t utter a word if you tried.

“Tell me.” Her eyes flicker from yours to your lips. “What.” Her lips are so close you can almost feel her words. “To do.” You let out a sigh and give in, abandoning all logic you press your lips against hers. She stiffens but then her hands automatically move to cup your jaw so she can deepen the kiss. Her tongue swipes across your lips, inviting them to open. You can’t really move, unable to completely process what’s happening. She’s so warm and soft and everything you didn’t expect.

She starts making her way down to your neck, exploring your reactions as she kisses and sucks at the sensitive skin. A small whimper escapes from your lips, and Ellie is sure she’s never heard something more intoxicating.

“Williams-” She finds a particular spot behind your ear that causes you to let out a quiet moan, making you forget how to speak for a moment.

“W-we can’t do this here, you know that.” She stops and moves her head to meet your gaze.

“You’re right, we should probably find someplace where we don’t run the risk of teenagers or Mrs. Taylor finding us.” That wasn’t what you meant but it was probably the first time she had ever agreed with you the entire time you’ve been partners.

--

She pulls off the road into a field and as soon as she parks she immediately starts where she left off. Somehow she knew exactly how to reduce you to a whimpering mess in mere moments. In between kisses she whispers “Take off your belt.” Her tone was so sure and dominant it sent a wave of arousal straight to your center. You do as she says, you forgot you had put on your utility belt for the call, but she clearly took note. You try not to move too much as she continues marking up your skin. She stops again, “Now get in the back.” She doesn’t wait for your response before taking her own utility belt off, leaving it in the front seat and opening her door. It was a little more work in a patrol car considering there were bars separating the front and backseat, but at this point neither of you cared much.

Ellie is first to sit down in the back and shut the door behind her, you do the same and crawl over to straddle her lap. “You feelin a little eager, sweetheart?” She looks at you with that obnoxious smirk on her face, but this time it didn’t annoy you as much as it usually did. You kiss the grin off her face before moving to her neck, listening to her little sighs and moans as you press your lips to her soft skin. The noises she’s making send arousal straight to your aching center and you begin to grind down on her lap, desperate for some kind of relief. She starts taking off your belt with trembling, eager fingers and throws it off to the side. You reach for hers as she untucks your shirt and begins unbuttoning it as quickly as she could, leaving you in your tank top. Your lips meet hers and the kisses grow hungrier by the second, each of you becoming more and more eager to undress the other.

As you begin to unfasten Ellie’s shirt she sighs in frustration, “Jesus christ all these fucking layers are driving me crazy.”

You laugh and say in between kisses, “Gotta make you work for it Williams.” With that she rips off your tank top, and immediately begins groping your breasts over your bra. You moan into her mouth and begin to grind down onto her even harder. Ellie notices and spreads her legs a bit, moving your leg in between hers so you were straddling her thigh. Relief rushes through you as you lower down onto her muscular thigh and begin moving your hips back and forth. She reaches behind you to unclasp your bra leaving your top half bare for her. She can’t resist breaking the kiss to move her focus to your chest, taking your nipple in her mouth with a satisfied hum. A soft whine escapes your lips as her warm tongue circles your sensitive nipples. Her hands have a steady hold on your hips, encouraging you to move against her thigh, harder and faster. Yours have found a home in her hair, tugging harder and harder as your pleasure builds on itself causing Ellie to groan as arousal begins to pool in her boxers.

“Get up.” Ellie commands in a hoarse whisper that sends butterflies straight to your cunt. You climb off her and lean against the car door. The sight of you in the dim moonlight, topless with spread legs and unzipped pants, a fucked out expression on your face almost has Ellie coming right then and there. She unties your shoes and gently removes them, before grabbing the hem of your pants and tugging them down in one swift motion. She crawls between your legs and wraps her arms around each of your thighs, gently kissing a path to your dripping cunt. A wet spot had formed on your panties causing your face to become hot from embarrassment, but Ellie seemed to have a different reaction “God you’re so beautiful, it’s driving me crazy.” She begins teasing you over the fabric of your underwear, running her fingers up and down your slit. A whimper escapes your lips as a silent plea for more, but she continues teasing. She finally pulls the fabric of your underwear to the side and takes a moment before gently blowing on your soaked folds.

“Please-” you manage to whimper as the cool air from Ellie’s lips hits your warm center sending a pleasurable shock through you. You would expect for her to make you beg for it, but she immediately obliged, licking a line from your dripping entrance to your clit. You gasp and grip on to her hair, searching for anything to hold on to as pleasure overwhelms every one of your senses. Ellie groans at the feeling as she begins gently licking at your clit, teasing you. The sound sends vibrations through your lower body and you moan at the feeling, now losing any control you had over the volume of your voice. She begins moving her tongue in circles over your sensitive bud as she teases your entrance with a slender finger. You let out the loudest moan yet, encouraging Ellie to plunge her finger further inside you. It slides in easily, arousal practically coating your thighs at this point. Suddenly she hits the spot causing a desperate whiny “Oh fuck,” To escape from your swollen lips as you clench lightly around her finger. She adds a second, the feeling of her two fingers causes a satisfying amount of pressure to fill your cunt. She hits a spot that you swear sends white light through your closed eyes and keeps hitting it with every rough, slow thrust of her fingers. Your hips begin to move, trying to get her to fuck you harder but she only pins your down by your waist with her free hand forcing you to endure her painful pace. “Ellie,” you whine, “please- I-“ you cut yourself off with a moan.

“What do you need sweetheart?” She pauses briefly to look at your fucked out expression and your arousal has dropped all the down her chin. The very sight almost does you in.

“Please,” you beg her in hopes she’ll spare you the humiliation of asking her.

“Mm mm,” she lightly shakes her head “words baby.” That was a much better nickname, the way she said baby made your cunt flutter around her fingers

“P-please-” you sigh before finishing “-fuck me harder pleasee.” You think that’s probably the most pathetic you’ll ever sound but Ellie obeys. She sucks your puffy clit into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the hypersensitive nub before moving her fingers faster. She picks up speed until you can’t think about anything but Ellie’s mouth and fingers. The pace was practically inhuman, you tilt your head back as a silent scream rips it’s way through you before you moan “fffuuckk,” in a high pitched tone. She continues moving her hands rapidly in and out of you curling them at just the right angle. You begin to flutter around her fingers and she knew you were close.

“Almost there baby?” All you can do in response in moan, she has you practically incapacitated. She giggled a little “Good, come for me.” As her words reached your ears your pleasure finally hit it’s peak. You begin writing against Ellie’s fingers as you roughly clench down on them. Your pleasure rips through you in overwhelming waves, moans uncontrollably leaving your lips as Ellie’s fingers continue their brutal pace. She doesn’t let up though, she keeps going as your clit grows more and more sensitive. You tug at her hair but she doesn’t move, she continues as your hips begin bucking against her arm that was pinning you down.

“Ellie it’s too much I can’t-”

“You can take one more can’t you sweetheart?” She asks sweetly as she fucks your sensitive hole with no mercy. You just nod and she continues sucking and licking at your clit, occasionally moaning which only enhanced the overwhelming pleasure. This time you were more tightly wound up and faster. It didn’t take long before you approached the edge again, the feeling twice as intense. You almost worry as it begins to build and build, just as you thought you had reached your peak it kept going. You finally topple over the edge as Ellie’s teeth lightly graze your clit, the feeling sending you into overdrive. You tugs Ellie’s hair harder than you ever had before as you make a mess all over the seats and Ellie’s mouth and fingers. She laps it all up contently, actually backing down when you pushed her away this time. She leans back into her knees and tries to catch her breath.

A smirk grows on your face as you begin leaning towards her, “it’s your turn.”

—

Idrk how I feel about this but at least I finished it 😀👍

Reblogs and notes are always appreciated and encouraged 💕‼️

Hopefully I will start updating more but I can’t really promise anything lmao

[writingduhh]

in one of the chuckle sandwich episodes, schlatt says he has a 2 y/o nephew. this made my mind wonder to how he is with kids. either it be his nieces and nephews or your own!

OMG HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?!? SCREAMING 😭

▷ Initially, he might come across as a bit awkward around unfamiliar kids. I mean he’s this huge tough looking dude, I doubt he’s trying to go accidentally scare some kids.

▷ He takes the slow and steady approach. Probably starting by just smiling at them and offering a treat, making sure they know he isn’t a threat (I stg little kids are so scared of big men)

▷ After they’ve gotten used to him I bet the second he walks in the door the kids are screaming his name, running up to him asking to play or hold them.

▷ You can practically sense the fear in his eyes when handed a very young baby. The fragility of infants is initially quite daunting for him. They’re so tiny. However, with a few awkward readjustments and learning to support the delicate head, he gradually eases into a more comfortable state.

▷ He will never outright ask to hold a baby, but he’d never turn down the chance. (Just casually watching baseball with a baby laying on his chest 😩 sorry I can’t)

▷ With older toddlers and kids he’s a little more rough, as in holding them upside down as they just squeal laughing.

▷ Definitely gives endless piggy back rides

▷ I feel like he’s the type to rough house with kids. Whether it’s wresting, spinning them around, or playfully throwing them on the couch.

▷ Absolutely SPOILS them! Anytime he’s visiting you best believe he’s bringing a gift. He’ll occasionally take them on a little shopping trip, letting them pick whatever their little heart desires.

▷ Has special nicknames for each kid. I could see him calling his nephew Big Man or Tall Guy just to be ironic. For a girl I could see him doing something sweet like princes or even just sweetie, a classic.

▷ Overall I bet kids absolutely love him because he probably loves to play and is always willing to do anything they want

[theylikeholdinghands]

A ramble of major spoilery thoughts after the prime premiere screening (episodes 1+2)

Under the cut. Very big spoils, I’m warning you.

My head is jumbled after the masterpiece I witnessed and all I’ll summarise are reactions and some stuff y’all already know from other screenings

Episode 1:

CROWLEY AS AN ANGEL OH MY GOODNESS HE WAS SO HAPPY AND JOYFUL AND HIS HAIR WAS STUNNING. Aziraphale definitely had love heart eyes at him and the whole “oh look at you, gorgeous” thing was legit. Crowley said that and Aziraphale smiled thinking it was aimed at him and then turned as he realised what he meant, the whole cinema room went awwwwww.

No one told me Gabriel fucking rubs his naked self fully against Zira whilst hugging him, I actually died.

GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY DOES PLAY WHEN CROWLEY IS RUSHING TO THE BOOKSHOP TO PROTECT AND APOLOGISE TO AZIRAPHALE. AAAAAAH

The whole cinema erupted in laughter when Crowley had to do an apology dance and I was screaming. He did end it with a ballerina pose I cannot. Aziraphale said he had to do that apology dance in 1650, 1793 and 1941 (so I hope we see that in the 40s minisode)

Aziraphale being all adorable listening to his records before he got interrupted by Gabriel aaaaaah

GABRIEL SAYS “I LOVE YOU” TO AZIRAPHALE AND ZIRA SAYS THANK YOU and then goes “I…hmm” SAVE IT FOR YOUR HUSBAND

Aziraphale is so sweet with Maggie but he has no fucking clue how to be a landlord i stg. Maggie also mentions the lockdowns, so the lockdown audio clip is canon.

Episode 2 Part 1 The Minisode:

The way Aziraphale enters this episode, dramatic ass bitch

I absolutely loved Azicrow’s initial argument about Crowley being evil and killing the goats and then the reveal he never killed them. ZIRA’S SMUG FACE BECAUSE HE KNEW CROWLEY WOULD NEVER HURT ANYTHING. Plus why do they look like they’re gonna kiss in that argument, I saw Zira looking at his lips… maybe his beard

Ty’s character is so camp when flirting with Zira oh my goodness

Gabriel’s long hair reveal got the crowd roaring

CROWLEY TEMPTED AZIRAPHALE INTO EATING AND HIS REACTIONS OH MY GOODNESS

The way they work together to trick the angels into thinking the kids are brand new is comedic gold

The very final scene of the episode is absolutely stunning. They’re both vulnerable and I love the line “I’m a demon, I was lying” comes back in so many ways this episode

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW EVERY REVIEWER SAID FRANCES MCDORMAND WASNT GOING TO BE BACK AND YET WE HEARD HER AND SAW HER NAME IN THE CREDITS

Episode 2 Part 2 Present Day:

CROWLEY SLEEPING IN HIS CAR, MOVE IN WITH YOUR HUSBAND DUMBASS

AZIRAPHALE CALLED THE BENTLEY “OUR CAR” and said he learned how to drive 90 years ago

Crowley’s romantic wooing involves a downpour of rain, sheltering under an awning and looking in to each others eyes to realise whats been there the entire time… ARE YOU OKAY CROWLEY

Crowley didn’t know Jane Austen wrote novels and knew her from a crime background. He picks up Pride and Prejudice in Aziraphale’s bookshop aaaaaaah

When Gabriel is alone alphabetising Zira’s books, he comes across P&P and reads the first sentence. THEN PICKS UP ANOTHER BOOK AND ITS THE FUCKING GOOD OMENS BOOK. NEIL I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS

Anyway these are my initial reactions so sorry for the ramble. I hope y’all who haven’t been to a screening get to indulge and look forward to whats coming in just over a day now!

[expired-monster-craft-smp]

Leon Kennedy headcanons because he has infected my little homosexual monkey brain like the plague

- Bites the skin on his lower lip as a habit and picks at it mindlessly

- Like he won’t even realize his lip is bleeding

- Leon has sharp canine teeth and is constantly accidentally biting his tongue, the inside of his lip, and the inside of his cheeks like, exceptionally hard (almost always has a small open wound in his mouth, lots of scars)

- Prefers plain mint gum over spearmint gum, usually only chews sugar free gum as well

- Super flexible (which is canon tbh) and he loves doing stretches

- He sleeps and sits in strange positions because of his flexibility so things that are super comfy for him might be damn near impossible for others to do

- (slight chreon) Chris has definitely gotten distracted by Leon stretching because goddamn why he is so flexible???

- Leon prefers thicker soups over thinner ones

- The least picky eater imaginable oh my god he’ll literally eat nearly anything if you tell him it’s edible I stg

- (RE2 Leon and a bit of RE4) A little insecure about his babyface, like if he walked into a bar he would definitely get carded and he’s just kinda like “man :(“

- Used to be a dog person but now he’s kinda afraid of them due to the trauma he has with dog B.O.W.s

- Leon is often compared to a cat by Chris (he thinks the man is very cat-like, especially with how he likes to sit/sleep and his personality)

- Doesn’t smoke but has hit a younger coworkers vape once and his eyes teared up from him trying to hold in his coughing (he liked the flavour though, it was strawberry kiwi ice)

- Prefers pistols and close-combat weapons (such as his knife) over semiautomatic weapons

- Leon is autistic. That’s all I have to say about that

- Violently bisexual but in denial about liking men (he’s already bad with women, he doesn’t wanna think about how it’d go with men 💀)

- Like to sit in ways that stretch out his legs, likes to stand/lean against walls so he can stretch his legs. He takes up a lot of room because of this but he will move if needed

- The only reason he’s still allowed to have his license is because he works for the government

- Usually though the government will provide him transportation for everyone’s safety

- Can only cook really simple meals and can never eat/deal with meat a few days after a particularly rough mission

- He more often than not has nightmares and is an extremely light sleeper

- Leon really doesn’t get a lot of sleep and has to resort to sleep pills fairly often

- His one-liners and jokes keep him grounded as he does missions

- It’s also why he prefers to wear fingerless gloves! The gloves protect his palms but being able to feel things directly to his fingers can be helpful in keeping him grounded and focused on the mission

- HATES insects and will kill them but will gently take spiders out of the room and outside with the cup and paper trick

- If he’s drinking to relax he’ll have a fruity cocktail or something sweet but if he’s drinking to forget/cope he’ll choose something that’ll burn his throat going down

I have way more so I’ll probably make another list at some point <3

[mushroommanstan]

How about this: Y/N likes to do yoga poses/stretches in the nude, Tomura wants to get in on that after observing *coughpervingcough* in her closet for so many days

When it first happened, it was an accident.

He was just snooping around your room for the discarded underwear he’d find all over the place when the door suddenly opened and the lights flicked on.

Panicking, he was fortunately right next to your closet, so he just hopped in. Maybe quietly searching for some of your bras in the mean time.

Anyways, you were always an unpredictable person, but he never could have believed that the first thing you did when entering into your room was take your clothes off.

The more you kept undressing, the harder it was to control himself. When you took your bra off it made your tits jiggle in a way that almost had him cumming in his pants, but he stopped himself immediately. No way is he going to blow his load before you even take your pants off.

When you do, all that’s left is your pretty pink panties, and from the slits in the closet door he can clearly see how you’ve soaked through them. He can only dream it was him making you feel that way and it was

You finally pulled your panties off, revealing the last of your perfect skin to him. He gripped his cock harder, strokes going faster and faster as your legs spread farther and farther as you performed the splits for him.

As he looked over your delicate form, your smooth body intentionally straining as you continued stretching, he couldn’t help but feel ashamed. Like he was defiling a work of art. Not that that stopped him, no, instead he pinched and pulled at his balls as punishment, occasionally squeaking from the delicious pain. As you went on, he could feel himself getting close. It had been a long, long time since he’s felt like this, oh god it was going to feel so good! Just a little more and-

You maneuvering into the downward dog position, ass perfectly on display was enough for him to finish. He came so hard his legs quaked, his eyes rolled back and his mouth hung open in a silent scream. He could see white spots from how hard he came, but they didn’t fade, they just got bigger and bigger until-

A loud thunk made you jump, it sounding like it was coming from your closet. You readied yourself as you pulled back the closet doors, figuring it was a raccoon or something, and color you surprised when you saw your passed out boss, dick still out and cum everywhere. Like, this guy jerks off like maybe once every 2 months, so imagine how backed up he was. All over your clothes.

You sighed, looks like you’ll have to redo your laundry. Other than that though, you didn’t really care. If anything, you were flattered. Maybe a little horny. I mean, all those nights of masturbating to him only to find him masturbating to you.

You smiled, picking up your discarded panties and stuffing them in his gaping mouth for when he woke up. Other than that, you just closed said doors and took a shower, business as usual.

Since then, it had become routine. Every Tuesday and Thursday at 7:45, he would scramble into your closet for the show to start. Of course you never told him you knew, that would take the fun out of it. For now, you’d wait for him to muster up the courage and plunge into your wet heat as you “unknowingly” presented it to him. Maybe you “accidentally” leave one of your vibrators in your closet for him to play with, the melodic buzz filling the room and making a shiver go down your spine as you touch yourself right in front of him.

For now, the mental image of him and the shameless noises of him going to town on all your clothes was enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Again, didn’t quite do what you asked, hope that’s ok. I stg I had to write this like twice because Tumblr wouldn’t save. Smh. Anyways, hope you liked it.

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - John 1:20

i honestly hadn’t considered that John would have access to a bunch of other info, like the FTL planning to leave everyone behind, via the politician he’s puppeting around. he’s practically running the government of this unspecified country at this point. i mean i guess it was good practice for everything he’d later end up doing as Emperor 

‘I’ve got plans for that arm’ um. what. y'know what i really really don’t want to even know

for a guy who keeps saying he didn’t want to nuke anything he’s reallyyy leaning into the nukes every chance he gets

something i find very interesting is that John possibly also has powers besides necromancy that he’s seemingly glossed over a lot? even though they’re very toothy, he can apparently grow roses, and earlier C— talks about him potentially stabilising the North Glacier like that’s something he could definitely do. i wonder if it is actually possible to use thalergy, the life energy stuff, which really never gets mentioned that much tbh, in a similar way to thanergy?

ok how on earth is ‘Cows exhibit mourning behaviour for other cows’ such a goddamn impactful line. like its a really chilling moment of John confirming that he’s willing to start a nuclear war rather than let the ships leave. and it’s also objectively fucking ridiculous

John’s reflection here on his friends doubting him, and how ‘People don’t forgive, not really’ is very interesting considering his actions at the end of HtN, where he asks Augustine if they can have a ‘fresh slate’ in the wake of him killing Mercy. idk really what i’m trying to say here, but i do wonder how much John really meant what he was offering there 

well what with Ianthe, Harrow, and Kiriona, John certainly took M—’s remark about recruiting teenage girls in the next cult to heart

what i’m personally choosing to take away from this chapter is that multitasking is the true villain of the Locked Tomb universe. get some sleep and stop trying to do six things at once kids, or you might just end up nuking the entire earth

‘I can’t Sister. It’s too big’ i’m quite frankly a little disappointed that John didn’t take the opportunity to make a ‘that’s what she said’ joke here

holy crap, the nun shooting herself is certainly a moment. this is really leaning into the eldritch horror of what it would be like to be a human and aware of the Earth literally screaming at you

there’s such a tragic contrast between M— literally begging in her last moments for them not to shoot John vs Mercy being the one to kill him & John killing her so horrifically in return

John’s been essentially levelling up in necromancy as all of these chapters have progressed, but it’s a truly horrifying level of power he displays here. it’s not even the nukes that end up killing a lot of people, because John points out that he was able to just straight up snap the necks of about half of the entire world population

so much about this chapter is just walking the line between absurdist comedy and abject horror, but there is something just so … viscerally disturbing about the mental image of John literally just eating dirt as he consumes the soul of the Earth 

THIS is where the Barbie comparison comes in??? this?! John modelled a body for the remains of the soul of the partially-absorbed soul of the earth after BARBIE?!! talk about taking Barbieheimer to a whole new level

‘I drank them in, and it wasn’t enough’ someone better at comedy than me has probably made a very Hungry Caterpillar joke about this chapter 

‘You and I went full fucking Hungry Caterpillar’ DUDE. ok i stg i made the Hungry Caterpillar annotation immediately before i read like the next page and saw this 

‘I picked you to change [...] I still love you’ well, there’s some form of answer about how John actually got his necromancy in the first place. there’s something so awful about being a human being given powers you just straight up can’t really comprehend by a being so much bigger than you out of love 

the message reads ‘THE/TOWER/HAS/REACTIVAT’. at this point i can’t really think of anything else it could say other than ‘reactivated’. and given this is the chapter where John describes himself as becoming God, there’s something very poetic about the chapter heading being John 1:20, in which John the Baptist confesses that he isn’t the Messiah

[angeledeggs]

Could you do the m6 and courteirs with a short [like around 5ft] s/o?

Yes!! Relatable, I'm barely above 5'2 also 😭😭

Asra💜:

Way too smug about it

Like, they're only around 5'5-5'6, it's not like it's a big height difference, but they still while just look at you and start snickering at your height.

He'll probably rest his hand on your hand and grin down at you, just to mess with you

Makes a few comments about you being 'pocket sized' and things of the sort, and won't stop making horrible height jokes

(Asra literally makes dad jokes stg)

Will always just tilt their chin up when you go to kiss them, just to play with you a bit until they finally lean down and kiss you

Julian🦠:

Oh my god he loves it.

He has no end of adorable nicknames for you, as he's nearly six foot, and will call you thinks like, "שורטי" or "tiny" just to mess with you.

Will definitely do that thing where he'll just slowly start leaning until he's using your head as an armrest as he smirks down at you.

Will purposely not lean down to kiss you and be like oh no?? Are you not tall enough?? Before he starts laughing his ass off.

Will like, manspread by grabbing onto the tops of doorways just to flex that he's taller lol.

Muriel💙:

Thinks it's cute.

He's around six foot but probably will only tease you about your height sometimes.

After all, he does think it's very cute and he doesn't want you to be insecure about it.

He'll always lean down to give you a kiss, or pick you up if you'd prefer that.

Might pay your head though, just for convenience (that's what he tells himself, at least)

Nadia💎:

Her heels are even more useful, now.

She's slightly above average height too, but will definitely tease you.

She might give you some of her heels if you like them to be a bit taller, but she loves your height

She thinks it's adorable, honestly.

Will probably call you something cute cause of your height like "छोटा" or "tiny".

She dosent do that thing where she uses your as an armrest, but she definitely might pretend to sit her cup on your head for a few seconds to mess with you, because she's silly. (eee she's so silly I love her!!!)

Portia🧡:

Finally, she's taller than someone!

While she might only be a couple of inches taller than you, she will absolutely flaunt it.

She might even wear heels and insist you're shrinking.

Just like her brother, if she's able to, she'll use your head as an armrest to mess with you.

She probably also loves to give you forehead kisses and stuff cuz of the height difference!!

Lucio👑:

As if he wasn't cocky enough.

He's doing literally everything in his power to tease you.

Like, literally, he's leaning on your head, setting things on your head, pressing a tape measure up your height, all he can do to mess with you.

It amuses him to no end, especially if you laugh or get grumpy about it.

He's a little shit though, and probably does it just cause he thinks it's funny.

Thinks it's also very cute though.

Valerius🍷:

He never says anything about it.

But that doesn't mean he can't totally mess with you for it.

He'll definitely hide some of your heeled shoes if you have any for fun, but he will give them back if you ask.

He'll like, very subtlety lean against you so that the height difference is more obvious.

If you slouch, he just grins a bit, cause that makes me you look even shorter, and he also definitely stands to his full height.

He likes being taller, it makes him feel more confident. Dosent mean he dislikes your height though, he really adores it.

Vlastomil🐛:

This motherfucker is tall as SHIT

Like taller than Julian lever kind of tall not as tall as Valdemar (SHH IGNORE CANON SHHH SHHH) but this bitch is just like TALL.

He's usually taller than everyone else, but having such a height difference on you makes him chuckle to himself.

He'll tease you by comparing you to one of his worms, and will probably pat your head and playfully push it down.

Might even measure you once or twice and be like oh, yes, you're very small, haha

Volta🍰:

Valdemar💉:

JSNSSJS THEY LITERALLY WONT SHUT UP ABOUT IT

Insists that you must have been "destined" to be short, to be their side table.

You think it's bad that Valerius might tap his wine glass against your head? WELL VAL IS LITERALLY 10 TIMES WORSE

They'll set their tools or papers on your head for minutes at a time and literally won't take them off till you start begging.

Might tug you up to kiss them just cause they can, or deny you kisses until you figure out a way to reach them.

All in all, they're very happy about it.

Very happy.

HEHSSHSHDGD SHES LITERALLY SO SHORT

Like I'd say she's around 5'2 MAYBE 5'3 so she's just happy to have a partner that's her height.

She dosent really tease you, more like she just jokes sometimes about how she's happy to have someone the same height as her for good kissing.

She also like might wear heels and be like oh my god what did you know turns out I'm taller.

She also jokes about you two having it good because you both 'get hit by rain last'.

She honestly loves it she thinks you two being the same height is so awesome .

Vulgora⚔️:

They are so smug.

They're only around 5'5 or PERHAPS 5'6 there's only a couple of inches in height difference, but they'll never miss the opportunity to tease you about it.

They might even wear heels just to show that THEY are taller, NOT you.

They kind of make it a competition, just like everything else.

But they also won't miss the opportunity to compliment your height, mention that they think it's adorable.

Will lean on your head and give you a few forehead kisses because you're the perfect height for it

❀

[thetoaddaddy]

I dont think i ever really explained why I like the idea of Jiraiya living a more troubled/neglected childhood. Honestly I just like the juxtaposition of the rich girl from the most influential family, the tragic orphan full of resentment, and the white trash hick from the slums.

Have I hooked you? Long sorta in this essay I will type of explanation of my reasoning post. Trimmed so you don’t have to suffer through scrolling a big long post unless you volunteer to it. And I welcome reblogs with your own thoughts added to it or comments. I like having these kinds of discussions.

It makes for a fun dynamic and puts together three very different social classes that make up the Sannin and the most common 3 classes of society. Tsunade has everything from money, social status and livin in the rich how dare the neighbours put up an extra twinkle light we’re contacting the police neighbourhood. Orochimaru lost his family but lives fairly okay being a ward of the Hokage/state plus as a genius kid with potential to end the war with his big fucken brain and lack of empathy he would most likely be treated more special. Jiraiya hiding his money in the floorboards of his room cuz he knows his parents will steal it to buy into their addictions and he’s well aware no one really expects him to be nothing more than a failure.

Plus we don’t have any characters who have a troubled relationship with their parents in this way. Yeah we got dead parents and asshole cold distant rich clan expectations parent tropes. But not too much on poor and abusive. Which is weird cuz its pretty common to be low income with some garbage parents. (Not to say that’s the case all the time of course) Nor do we see much for alcoholism or similar addictions just ruining a family. The most he ever speaks about his parents in canon is that they were civilians. Kinda cold imo. Like I get that most likely kishi figured no one cares that much from where Jiraiya came from but that throw away line had me thinking and this headcanon came out.

So it’s pretty poetic that Jiraiya grew up full Glass Castle from a nothing neglectful civilian family and made something of himself with his own determination rather than being crutched with clan powers or high blood relations. He’s a nobody who proved people wrong and grew beyond his upbringing. His life we see on screen has always been pretty born under an unlucky star/he had to claw his way for anything he’s wanted and nothing was ever given to him. So it makes sense to me anyways that his early life was just as claw his way out from falling off the face of the earth. He could have just picked the easy way and not rise above being some drunk gutter rat that is just a direct product of his upbringing. But he focused on trying to get out rather than keep the cycle going. He picked the academy and proved he was not just above the curve but the grit he already had from surviving his broken home made for a determined courageous motherfucker. With that he became rich and renowned. All on his own.

I think that gives him more interesting motivation than the canon basically being ‘on my quest for pussy brb🏃‍♂️’ Like damn can we please uncreepy him kishi i stg. And I like to ignore his railroaded prophecy ass I must find my destiny stuff. That ruins his accomplishments. Honestly as a fairly empathetic person who grew up poor and hungry why wouldn’t he take pity on three war orphans and try to do good by them where he was never given that comfort? It’s far more compelling and interesting story than some crazy old toad told me to do it and I took those words so fucking literally it led the rest of my life.

I like to imagine he’s simply more wayward and never felt satisfied staying put(especially with all the horrible memories Konoha gives him). It also makes more sense for him to have this kind of chip on his shoulder over being some average guy who had an average upbringing. He can handle himself not just in battles but in dealing with the more uncomfortable situations like traveling through poor areas with the know how.

Like he knows how to speak crackhead and the slum folk clock him as one of their own. I wouldn’t call it street cred or anything. He just has the street smarts beyond that of an average person and it shows. Plus in some verses I like to think he travels hoping to find love as well. Can’t find one’s soulmate staying put in a village can they? ;)

Not every character has to be tragic I know. And this is just what I think. You don’t have to agree with me or accept my interpretations. He could have easily just brushed off the subject cuz he keeps people at an arms length. Which he does for the most part.

But I feel like with the Sannin era we were left with such well cooked and seasoned snippets that it became kinda frustrating that the rest was kinda undercooked or plain still in the damn deep freeze. So we get brain zoomies and try to fill in the big ass gaps. I want to know how three of the most interesting and important ninja of the shinobi world grew up. It’s fun to imagine and make these types of interpretations. Even if it is answered one day in a mini series or a book, I’ll still probably prefer what I and my moots cooked up. Cuz honestly we put more care and deep thought into these characters than kishi does at this point 😭

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

cactus + jasmine

tysm!!

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

i am just perpetually doing a study on pirates. stg all i consume is pirate media aside from this fandom (currently reading black flags, blue waters in my free time), which is mainly for the novel im working on but its become A Thing by now

aside from that im always doing art studies/writing studies. i love learning about writing as a craft so ive been looking into more books ab the process of writing rather than just reading "good" writing

also marketing but thats just my usual interest in it. i just,, love learning a lot so ill pick up info on whatever i can whenever i can. (i actually hate school but i love Knowing Things so i just continue to pursue education anyway)

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

hmmm not really? post-hyperfixation i can never touch the media again, but thats only been a couple atp (and when i say never touch i mean literally never think ab again). if anything i usually have to limit myself on replays/rereads otherwise i will ruin it for myself (cough cough literally any music i love ever)

the only one i can think of is only bc it is physically impossible to get a hold of the book, which is the chevalier de saint-georges: virtuoso of the sword and the bow by gabriel banat. the cheapest copy currently is $1000+ so i will simply never see it again (even though id absolutely love to)

oh also treasure island by robert louis stevenson. ik its like The Classic Pirate Book but thats like. all it is. it was nice to get it out of the way and im glad i read it so i could see where a lot of modern inspo came from, but i dont need to read it again

[whitelikeroses]

Ship of the Week!

Gonna start posting these here too because why the hell not. I love to scream with joy about my ships. Starting off strong with one of my favorites (actually they're all my favorites), Blacksmith's Familiar! Which is my name for the ship comprised of Blake/Yang/Penny (I named it for the fact that the ship name for Yang/Penny is Blacksmith) Now let's get into it!

These three are, as I so affectionately refer to them, my 'THEY COULD HAVE BEEN SO FLUFFY THEY DESERVED TO BE FLUFFY' OT3. I mean, notice how in the pictures above, Yang lets Penny pick her up, and Penny lets Blake lift her when she hugs them! Anyway Combat Kitty happens to also be one of my favorite rarepairs. One of my favorite things to talk about regarding it is how Blake must know how Penny felt in the early volumes, being different but being able to pass being both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because they can blend in, they aren't targets. A curse because they can't be authentically them. And then you have Yang. Yang who has never been anything BUT authentically herself. Yang who doesn't care that Blake's a Faunus or that Penny's a robot. Because they're still them! And she loves them! And they should be able to love themselves too! Yang Xiao Long who goes out of her way to remind them that not only are they wonderful for everything that they are, but she'd never want them any other way. I hc that Yang runs warm, and thus she appreciates that Penny is cool to the touch. Her favorite times are when Penny and Blake are leaning into her on either side, snuggling into her while she wraps one arm around Penny and uses the other hand to gently pet Blake's ears. Think of the affection in her eyes as she gazes at each of them. Yang's always worn her heart on her sleeve, and that means Penny and Blake are never left in the dark about how she feels about them. This is great for Blake, because she never has to worry about empty promises from Yang. She means and does what she says. It's also great for Penny, who has always struggled with the nuance of interacting with people, and struggles when people either don't say what they mean, or worse, suddenly change their behaviors. Penny's bluntness and slight inability to lie also helps. It helps Blake for the same reason Yang's earnest nature does, and it helps Yang because of her issues with people leaving her, lying to her, and in Raven's case, even trying to manipulate her (I hope I'm making sense). I am so delusional about these three I stg. They would be SO obnoxiously in love that Weiss would have to take to wearing earmuffs in their vicinity to ignore the stream of loving words, and a blindfold to ignore the sweet gestures they'd constantly exchange. Like They're so adorable I could DIE Anyway, Thank you for reading! I have been delusiona- I mean Apex and this has been a Ship of the Week post! See y'all next week!

[aladaylessecondblog]

FHW but omegaverse 6

Author's Note: He's a vampire so there'll be blood drinking. Reference to jerking off. stg I have 5 million other things to write but nooo, this is what gets written. no smut unfortunately.

--------------------

Torovan had been certain, absolutely certain, that if anything were wrong he'd have scented it. Felt it. However muted the bond was, he could still pick up bits of Sadrith's mood and how she was feeling.

Irritation, mostly. She didn't like being beholden to anything like this. Now that he bothered to pay attention to what he she was giving off, it was obvious. A dash of panic, fear--of him. He supposed that made sense...some omegas had been taught to be fearful of alphas. Perhaps she had been one of them. She'd said she never presented, but surely she'd have read about it, and what was reported in books was often more extreme than necessary.

The problem remained: the bond was there, and there was no reversing it. They would simply have to deal with it. Sigurd no doubt would think him a fool, he'd thought himself a fool when he realized what he'd done. Surely, he thought, she must know who he was.

But it was obvious now that she didn't. She didn't know him, and there was the slightest of feelings that she didn't WANT to know him...

...there was also something she didn't want him to see. Perhaps she just hated the idea of being perceived as lesser? Some omegas felt that way...but most got over it if they were bonded to a good alpha.

The next couple of days were spent largely apart, with him easing the burn in his blood while holding that scarf of hers or one of her blankets to his nose, trying desperately to keep that weak scent present, to fool his body into thinking it was her body bringing this pleasure, and not his hand. It was odd, though--his ruts weren't usually so bad. No sooner would the deed be done than he would want it again. His nigh-legendary self control was becoming ever harder to maintain in the face of such overwhelming desire. Yet at the same time each finish was less satisfying.

He simply knew he could NOT indulge in her, however much he wanted to. Her blood called out to him as much as her body did, and it was that same blood that would ruin him, as it had in the past. It would drag him back to what Sigurd had saved him from--how could she not know what she was, with this blood coursing through her veins?

Her scent would be enough to get him through this...and if anything were wrong, he'd do just enough to keep her in good shape. She didn't want this either, after all.

But as the two days passed, he felt less and less from the link, as if it were fading into the distance.

Dragonborn--Sadrith, he corrected himself--didn't seem to speak much. She slept, but if he checked on her it was a fitful sort of rest. She'd look up at him and mutter something about 'the shadow man' and then turn away. A nightmare, she said, and that--that sent a fear of his own running through his mind.

Was she seeing his darker half? The side of him that Sigurd assured him was gone...he decided that first night to keep his distance more, to see if that might ease things.

It didn't seem to. She stayed in the tent the second day, claiming utter exhaustion. He noticed on the third morning that she didn't come out to eat, and he remembered, suddenly, he hadn't seen her eat for at least a day.

The answer to all his questions were given the moment he lifted the tent flap and was hit with the horrible, overwhelming scent of distress.

Sadrith was in pain, mentally, physically. She was barely awake, and didn't seem to have seen him yet. All her focus was on the skooma bottle in her hands.

"So that's it," he said, "I should have guessed."

"Torovan," Sadrith mumbled, "S'rry. Can't stay awake..."

She lifted the bottle to her lips but he snatched it away before she could drink.

"Do you not know the damage this is doing? The damage it CAN do?"

"I n'd it," she reached clumsily for the bottle in his hands. "Mind fuzzy, hard to get going...threats...but I needed...more...last few days. Can't stay awake without it. Sleep...not good."

"Skooma is the entire reason you're in this shape!" he snapped, and felt a pang in his chest when she flinched and fell back. "Sadrith--skooma blunts your omega reactions. And the more you drink, the worse it gets. The bond--"

"Why d'u care?" Sadrith slurred, "You don't wannit. Can't feel anything. Better."

You did this to her, he thought, Look at her, look at your mate. You rejected her and she's resorted to the skooma to stop the pain.

But the skooma had only made it all worse. The weaker the bond became the more fragile her own health grew - he could only assume he had been lucky, due to...what, he wasn't sure. Perhaps because he was a vampire, or rather, that he was undead?

"Been'n skooma my whole life. To help. The mind whirlwind." Sadrith gestured vaguely, and looked up squinting, as if she couldn't really see him right.

That explained so much. Had she not been on skooma the whole time for--whatever she was talking about--would he have been able to scent what she was sooner? To think of the time they'd lost...in addition to the pain he'd caused.

He looked through the bag at her side, taking out five bottles of skooma--three of them empties. He found her waterskin, and bringing her up into a sitting position, lifted it to her lips. She didn't argue, but drank deeply. She ate in the same way when he offered her a bit of bread and cheese from another one of her bags.

"S'tired..." Sadrith mumbled, and curled against him, breathing deeply. She trembled for a moment, and moved even closer, burying her face in his neck.

Then another feeling.

The fear of abandonment. Unbridled terror at the idea he would leave.

When he didn't shrink away, when he wrapped both arms around her, she breathed deep and exhaled shakily.

It did not take long at all for her to fall asleep.

-------------------------------------

For Sadrith, it was a confusing blur of time, those few days.

Feeling tired, she'd taken a little more skooma, but then found when she did sleep the actual quality of it went down. The bond had been thinner and thinner for her...and then the skooma had stopped helping what was wrong with her mind entirely.

And everything was pain. She hadn't wanted to eat, drink, nothing.

The urge to seek him out, to curl close, to cling and refused to be move had been terribly insistent. But he'd already shown he didn't want her, or the bond, and on top of being used to resisting persistent intrusive thoughts, she refused to give in. He didn't want her and she would not beg.

But the longer she resisted, the worse things felt. Sluggishness turned into barely wanting to get up at all; listlessness and fatigue that wouldn't go away. It wasn't until she woke up to find him in the tent that she realized how badly she wanted him.

And then all she could think was him, his scent, keeping him close. Any thought of resisting had faded and left her only with instinct--instinct that felt to her like the compulsions she often had, the ones she tried so hard to fight back. He gave her water, gave her something to eat - and the resistance she'd had to doing both was suddenly gone, now he was the one helping it along.

Sadrith kept close, and when he embraced her she got as close as she could, buried her face against his neck and finally, FINALLY she could relax.

Then she felt all the anxiety receding, and she slept.'

------------------------------------

She woke to nothing.

Or rather, Torovan wasn't there, but Sadrith was surrounded by his scent; that spice and musk that completely enveloped her. The enjoyment stopped the moment she picked up that he was angry, and for a few minutes she thought it might be at her. She gathered the fur cloak of his that he'd left, pulled it around herself, and relaxed again.

It was alright. She was alright.

Him. Him. Home. Safe.

The words ran through her mind before she could really lock onto them.

(Everything was fine. She was exactly where she was supposed to be.)

She thought so, at least, until she felt the pain in her gut. The skooma--she wanted it, needed it. Maybe it had blunted the bond too much but...maybe a small sip wouldn't hurt...

No sooner had she started looking for it than the tent flap opened and Torovan appeared, with a bowl of stew he pushed into her hands.

"What'd you do with my skooma?" she asked, after scarfing it down and putting the bowl aside.

"I threw it out, it was doing you harm. You could've--you could've died. You could've killed both of us, taking that poison."

"It's the only thing that helps." A feeling came then, the familiar sensation of a rushing river in her mind. The river she tried so much to avoid. "You know what you would be on it? That's what I am off it. It would make you fly, but for me...it's...it's the only thing that keeps me on the ground."

What use was there in keeping it back from him? He'd feel it soon anyway, this typhoon in her mind.

"My mother tells me Akatosh gave me the dragonblood and soul...and Sheogorath cursed me, so I wouldn't turn into Tiber Septim." She looked down, and took a sip from the waterskin he handed her next. "A few healers she took me to said it's an affliction they see now and then...attention issues, high energy, creativity, an inability to make myself actually DO a lot of things. Said that types like mine do well adventuring, so..."

Gods above, it felt so good to have him there, to not only see but feel his interest in her well-being. Like it had been at Helgen, she asked herself: was this what having an alpha was supposed to be like?

"I found this little cure quite by accident when I was a child..." She took a deep breath, unable to stop herself going on. This. This was another of her curses, and she hated it. Sometimes she just couldn't shut up. "...my mother traveled with a khajiit caravan, and one of the khajiit left his skooma out. Everyone panicked when they realized I'd drunk some of it...until they found me quietly sitting and mending one of the tents. They'd never seen me so calm, and the next morning I was tentatively offered a smaller amount. I've been on it ever since."

Another deep breath.

"It's the only thing that helps. I've tried herbs and potions of every kind, but...nothing else touches it. Then when I began to suspect...it muted the bond...I figured...I needed my mind clear more than I needed a mal--an alpha that didn't want me anyway. I thought I would rather...ah...w...seal myself away from this, than...lose my mind again and be stuck chasing whatever good feeling I can scrape out-out-out just to--get through the day. I've served my-my purpose and what am I for...now?"

She hated mixing her words up like that, because then she'd realize she was making a mistake, trip, and stumble further. The harder she forced herself to speak the worse it got.

This is why I need the skooma! I can't be a hero if I sound like a babbling fool!

Torovan wasn't speaking--she felt concern from him, but she was sure he was judging her. She was always sure that everyone was judging her...and right now she was simply too tired to wear the mask of the fearless hero.

Go ahead, she thought, Tell me how weak I am.

He didn't do that.

Torovan let out a long breath and (seeing she was done eating and had put the bowl down) raised her hands to his bandaged face. "You have served your purpose in prophecy, and find yourself at what you feel is a dead end?"

She could see concern in that one exposed red eye of his, feel it from the bond, that seemed stronger every moment. Gods, she was luxuriating in an OCEAN of good feeling right now. She could shut her eyes and die happy, drowning in the sensation.

"You seem as if you know the feeling," she said quietly.

"Let us say," Torovan gave a dry chuckle, "That I do. Sigurd saved me from being nothing more than a line in the books of history, and now...well. I want to aid him."

"Funny you didn't claim him, if you were so close." She paused. "You might not have gotten stuck with me."

"Sigurd's not an omega. And what do you mean, stuck?"

"You didn't want..."

"I was...hasty. I'm--" Torovan stumbled, and tightened his grip on her wrists. His eye shut. "I'm sorry for rejecting you. I could have killed you...and all I could think was that I wanted to be left alone. You have no idea the surprise I felt...when I realized..."

"When you realized what?"

"When I realized Azura had given me a mate." His eye opened. "She and I have never been on the best of terms...so for her to have made you...what you are...it puzzles me. Especially since you are every bit a reckless gremlin. I never thought that if I were fortunate enough to get an omega, or a mate...that it would be someone like you."

"Did you want a meek and mild omega? Someone to keep a house, to bear your children, nothing more?"

Touching him was wonderful. The feeling of knowing he was scenting her, and being scented in turn...

"Of course not. I never thought to have an omega at all. I thought to spend my life without one. To use my time to help Sigurd in whatever endeavor he might be undertaking...to disappear altogether."

"It doesn't work like that." She breathed deep and leaned in closer, and spoke with her nose right against a scent gland. "You go on existing anyway. Trust me, I know. I wanted to just stay up on the mountain but...it's not suited to my taste, to be alone. I hate being perceived, but I crave company."

"The same as me." Torovan laughed.

His hands moved again and he turned her head--now it was his turn to take a deep breath of her scent. He growled, and Sadrith felt the slightest jerk in her gut. Desire.

"If I was feeling better," she said, "I would..."

"You don't know me. I rejected you right off - why would you WANT to?"

"This feeling. I want more of it." Sadrith looked away. "Without the skooma I seek the easiest possible joy in every situation, and..."

And she was craving it now. Too much bad feeling of late, she wanted to soak, drown, in the good.

"...and I never get anything done."

"You're in no condition for that..." Torovan started.

"I won't be in any condition for anything anyway." Sadrith shook her head. "You can probably already feel the mess in this head of mine. If you can do anything to fix it...or if you'd let me have a sip of--surely a little won't hurt."

"A little could still kill you right now." There was a pause. "I suppose there is something I could do, but--"

"Then do it." Sadrith replied instantly. "I don't care what it is. Do it."

"I haven't even told you what it is. There's that recklessness again." There was a slight sound of a chuckle. "I hesitate to suggest it because it's...you would be putting yourself under my power, even more so than you already have."

"How?" She was impatient--for answers, for relief.

"A vampire's thrall does not go straight from a normal state of mind to their thralldom, there are...stages of influence. I hesitate to offer this option for...obvious reasons. It would allow me to...meddle in your mind, and I prefer not to tempt myself that way."

"Have you done something like that before?"

Torovan was silent for a long period. Agonizing, for her in the current state - she was trying so hard to keep her attention centered on him, so much so it only added to the pains in her body from the skooma withdrawal.

She felt--something dodgy from the bond. Something was wrong. He was hiding something, something that he was frightened by. An easy 'yes' to her question that he didn't want to give voice to.

"A time or two," he finally said. "I would be biting you again...and it would almost certainly--"

"If you were suggesting this a few days ago I would have thought you crazy. Biting again will...reinforce the bond, won't it?"

"Have you already forgotten that you would be in danger of falling under my influence...or in danger of my draining you dry."

"Keep my mind clear, and you can do what you like with me," Sadrith said, after a long pause. "I can enjoy nothing with my mind in this condition...and if you wanted to do anything terrible with me you'd have done it already. You could have killed me easily, just by letting me drink the skooma."

"Which would have offed me as well...or at the very least, put me in a condition like yours for quite some time. Fated mates suffer immensely when one dies."

He seemed intent on informing her again of the risks, and Sadrith heard them. But all she could think was relief, and pleasure. The relief of a clear mind and the pleasure of his skin against hers.

Even just his hands on her own was wonderful.

--------------------------------

When she made it clear a third time she wasn't afraid to take the risk, Torovan did what he had done the first time he bit her. He had her lay down, get comfortable, and expose her neck. He looked over the mark he'd left. The wound, however healed up it was, was cleaner than he'd wish. It was almost faded, and that--that sent an unpleasant sensation through his body.

How he wished they were spending this rut of his otherwise - how he wished she was taller, that as he had her he could have his face against her neck, consume himself with her scent as he--

"What are you waiting for?" Sadrith finally piped up. "You're making me nervous, just--staring like that."

This rut cannot be over soon enough, he grumbled to himself. There was much they had to discuss, and much he had to figure out HOW to discuss with her. Would she welcome him so sweetly if she knew the truth? Would she be so eager to put herself under his power, if she knew what a terrible temptation it was?

No.

He would wait to tell her.

But in the meantime...

"Would you prefer I take the bandages off?"

"No," Sadrith said, "Keep them on...it doesn't matter to me. When we get to Riften and the face sculptor works her magic, you can show me the face you want me to see. Of course if you'd rather--"

He was moving down before she could say more, and when his fangs grazed her neck there was a sense of elation. What he would have felt before, had he not been so angry.

The instant his fangs sank into Sadrith's neck she gave out a moan that went straight to his cock. The instant her blood crossed his tongue, it was difficult not to draw back so he could claim her properly. Instinct was clawing at the door, begging to be let out, and it only swelled in prominence the more he drank.

(There had never been much information about a vampire drinking the blood of the omega he claimed, and nothing at all if a fated mate was involved. But her blood sang in his veins, thrilled him as nothing else had in a very long time.)

He finally forced himself to pull back when he heard Sadrith whimpering about it being, "Too much."

The bite was healed to stop the bleeding, but the mark of it remained. As he wiped off the last few drops from his lips he reveled in the sight. This time there was no anger. This time, there was only the thrill, the satisfaction of marking her.

"Now," he said, "I need you to stay as you are."

It was almost frightening to go back. To lay a hand on her face, to reach into her mind as he had done to others centuries ago, and twist what was there. He felt the rush, the chaos all around him, and slowly, bit by bit, he was able to adjust things. Not perfectly at first, but enough to calm the storm Sadrith was so afraid of. He could feel her relief through the bond as it calmed down, the utter joy at the increasing lack of chaos.

It was like putting on an old comfortable robe, to fiddle with a mind. Almost too comfortable. But she had asked for it, and when she opened her eyes she smiled up at him.

"Thank you...the bite was incredible but..." She gave a sigh, "...my mind is my own again."

There was a pause.

"...but...you might want to do something about...that."

"Hmm?" Torovan had been dwelling on the peace she felt, the joyful calm, and he realized he hadn't heard half what she said. "About what?"

Sadrith shifted her leg. "You're, ah...aroused. If you aren't going to let me do anything about that you might want to--"

As much as he wanted to let her, she was still recovering, and he'd taken her blood anyway. She needed a sweetroll...and some rest. He found a half crushed sweetroll in her bag, and when pressed she ate it. But there was a question to follow.

"How much longer will you be in rut?"

"Ah--another four days, if the pattern holds." It would, he knew. He could set the clock by when his cycle stopped and started.

She shifted again.

"Then see if you can control yourself another two. And we can give you a reward for helping me out."

Even in her current state, still weakened, freshly bled, she was flirtatious. Gods above, this woman was intoxicating.

And he would not again make the mistake of turning any of it down.

[yes-divine-ruler]

🍬 The Evans (and how they feel about chewing gum)

another concept by @v-love and I, we’re sooo creative i stg

Evan Peters

- His favourite is bubblegum

- Loves blowing bubbles, gets upset when it's only small and it pops

- Will challenge you to a competition and sabotage you when you're winning

- But loves to just watch you chew it, he thinks it's sexy when your temples flex

- thinks it's good exercise for his jaw

- looks super cocky while he's chewing it

- has to get bubblegum that has a long lasting flavour

Tate Langdon

- he likes the peppermint 5 gum SPECIFICALLY

- will stick his gum under any surface when he's done with it

- often falls asleep with it in his mouth

- you know he's flirting with you when he offers you his gum

- he'll write a cheesy pick up line in it and re-wrap it to give it to you

- you chuck the wrapper away and never see it

- the next time he does it he makes sure he tells you to read the wrapper so it doesn't happen again

- "I may not be 5 gum... But I can stimulate your senses."

Kit Walker

- likes cinnamon gum, but he's found a good brand that does it well and now he won't go back

- always chews it with his mouth open and you have to constantly remind him to be polite

- uses it to ease his anxiety

- will chew peppermint gum when he knows he's seeing you because he likes to have minty fresh breath, but will spend the rest of the day thinking it could've been cinnamon

Pre-Death Kyle Spencer

- LOVES spearmint

- just as much as he loves spearmint shakes and mint tea (maybe more)

- Has to hide his gum under his pillow from his frat

- Will never let anyone in his frat take a piece if he has it on him

- likes to stick his chewed gum everywhere like Tate

- uses slightly minty lube because he loves the tingle

- always drinks cold water while he chews his gum so it goes hard

Franken-Kyle Spencer

- LOVES grape bubblegum

- will get so pissed off if you try to give him anything else

- chokes on it sometimes and you have to give him the heimlich to get it out

- he becomes hyper-aware of the choking and doesn’t want it to happen again

- so he concentrates super hard every-time he chews gum

- then he can't get anything else done so you have to hide it from him

- he will accidentally kill someone who smells like the minty gum

- cries if he can't get a bubble going, and will slobber all over your shirt while you comfort him

- sometimes the gum falls out of his mouth but you tell him it's okay and give him another piece

Jimmy Darling

- not a big gum fan but will devour a pack of orange tic tacs in one sitting

- if one drops on the floor, he'll still pick it up and eat it

- has a secret stash in his bedside drawer

- likes to watch Ma Petite eat them because then they don't seem so small

- they comfort him when he's on stage performing

James Patrick March

- if he wants minty breath he'll just drink a mojito

- makes him feel like he's chewing toothpaste

- gets so overwhelmed by all the flavours, he thinks gum is way too new-age for him

- you'll get bullied if you don't like the basic flavours

- "my love..why are you chewing on that childish flavor. so unnecessary, please take into consideration how it'll make your breath feel in your mouth."

- has a soft spot for original bubblegum, if he tastes it when he's kissing you he'll take you right there on any surface

Kai Anderson

- doesn't care for the flavour as long as something is in his mouth

- spits it in your face when he's angry at you

- pulls it out of his mouth in strings, twirls it around his finger and puts it back in his mouth

- purposely chews the flavors you like just so he can talk real close to your face and you can smell it

- thinks there's a BIG difference between beloved peppermint and fucking spearmint

- but if you did something he didn't like, he'll make sure he only has the flavours you don't like to rub it in

Peter Maximoff

- takes every single packet of gum from the aisle in Walmart to annoy the workers for fun

- shows off his huge collection of gum to you in an attempt to impress you

- would fuck with gum in his mouth

- it always accidentally falls it in your mouth during sex, but when you start chewing on it, it drives him crazy

Colin Zabel

- loves anything you're chewing

- whatever you have on you, he'll take

- he'll think about you the whole time he's chewing it

- feels sad when the flavour runs out and his jaw hurts and he has to spit it out

- always puts it in the bin

- will save the wrapper every time as a keepsake

[xxwhiskeyxx]

Music Through Your Eras Tag Game!

Thanks you @ifritfan for the tag <3!!

1️⃣first song/artist you remember liking: Honestly, first song and artist that comes to mind is Katy Perry and Wide Awake. I had that shit on repeat 😩

👶middle school anthem (age 11-13): I was a baby emo at the time so probably If You Can’t Hang by Sleeping with Sirens or some NateWantsToBattle song or I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace

🚗roadtrip must have song: My main playlist is 200+ hours so there’s a lot. But I usually Sleep Token, I’m so Hot by Chrissy Chlapecka, Post Malone, blackbear, Nickleback, Yung Gravy, and Ghost

🙈Guilty pleasure artist: ABBA…I grew up on momma Mia dammit! Shakira and ICP are also a favorite, I love blasting it while zooming down backroads. Especially chop chop slide, Hips Don’t Lie, Loba, and in my room, both great speeding songs. AURORA is also an amazing guilty pleasure, her voice is so unique I could listen to her for days

💯I know all the lyrics to: Look Whose Inside Again and Bezos 1 by Bo Burnham. I had a major hyper focus when it came out and I really love Look Whose Inside Again

😭a song that makes you cry: Look Whose Inside Again by Bo Burnham, My Love My Life by ABBA (Mamma Mia edition), anything by Cigarettes After Sex, and YNWIM by Yot Club

🤬A song to yell to: Das a lot…I can scream to most of my music but I guess Without Me by Dayseeker, most Falling in Reverse Songs, High on Me by Saliva, anything by Corpse, and Gossip by Maneskin

❤️‍🔥 Current favourite music video: I don’t actually watch music videos often, but I guess Spillways by Ghost, I love the creativity behind it and from memory, I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace and All Around Me by Flyleaf

🥰current favourite band: Incredibly hard to pick but based on how much I listen to them, honestly Ghost. I never get tired of their music, sometimes I switch from my Ghost playlist to my main so I don’t possibly get bored or I wanna listen to something specific in the playlist but I’m never bored of Ghost

🏟️Would kill to see them live/again: I’ve never actually seen a band I love in concert. I’m a broke bitch and don’t have a lot of money mostly but I’m going to see ghost this September with my friend so I know I’d love to see them multiple times

🏝️if you could listen to one song on repeat for the rest of your life: Either something by Three Days Grace or Bezos 2, that song is in my head like elevator music everyday all day I stg. Either that or No Cock like Horsecock, I’ll add a link for anyone that wants to listen ;)

🔁stuck on repeat: Dance Macabre by Ghost, Wake up by AWOLNATION, Ordinary by Chris Catelyst, You Won’t Miss Her by Jutty Taylor, Mary on a Cross by Ghost, Cassandra by Cos Sylvan, Look Whose Inside Again by Bo Burnham, 10 Miles High by Jutty Taylor, Negative Witness by Cos Sylvan, and I’m So Hot by Chrissy Chlapecka

Tags: @switchplate-2 @slptkns @batsghuleh @sodobabe @serene-sun @p1nkcanoe @fr3akingtf0utrn @chaos--reincarnated @seanceofghouls

For anyone who wants the horsecock song. For those who know, this is Mounty’s song :)

[firecrackerhh]

You do nothing but get into constant fucking drama with other people in this fandom for no other reason than goddamn clout, that or you’re legit too fucking unaware to understand why people think your behavior is rightfully fucking irritating to everyone around you, and I’m not sure which potential option makes me disrespect you less.

You irritating fucks constantly get under this fandom’s skin for legit retarded fucking reasons and then you act surprised when people tell you that you’re fucking wrong?

You’re so fucking media illiterate you can’t even tell the difference between slapstick and actual abuse in a cartoon and you wanna fucking lecture people about topics you clearly have no business fucking talking about!?

Read the room! Assuming you’re fucking capable of it you goddamn retard. Jesus fuck!

What the fuck is it with the most brain dead people in this fandom thinking they have the right to speak on fucking anything dude, what the fuck!?

If you can’t tell the difference between a character kicking another in the balls Vs a gay man being physically abused by his bitch ex wife, if you legit believe that both require deadly seriousness, then you’re just retarded dude, I’m sorry to tell you.

Not that you care probably, I’ve seen you like one of my posts where I use the word retard, guess ableism only bothers you if it’s directed at you. Kinda hypocritical ngl.

Like yeah you would still be annoying af but at least it would be morally consistent if you hated every instance of the word instead of cherry picking.

Christ never watch the 3 stooges, you might get an aneurism lmao.

Didn’t you fucking say you were gonna leave the fandom? Or is the attention you get by being a lolcow too fucking sweet to ignore?

Maybe more people would be willing to have good faith discussions with you if you weren’t acting so fucking morally superior about everything you goddamn mental midget. The fucking gall.

You ain’t superior to anyone, you’re nothing but an irritating parasite getting high off the attention like a fucking heroin addict looking for a hit of dope, fucking tragic. At least if you were honest about being a fucking attention whore I would respect you a little bit, but nah you wanna bullshit others (and probably yourself) into thinking that any of the shit you say actually has any value. Tragic.

If you’re gonna leave, leave. It’s beyond obvious you don’t fucking belong here if all you wanna do is start shit and make other people miserable.

People recognizing slapstick isn’t actually abuse, isn’t fucking abuse apologia you retarded sack of shit, holy shit, how the fuck can people like you even exist?

I stg if you just love harassing fans cuz of a fucking character they like or because they clearly have better media literacy than you do, then you seriously need to touch grass, leave people the fuck alone you goddamn dumbfuck.

“Don’t harass this person guys!!!” You don’t even fucking bother to use the marker tool in your photo app to hide people’s usernames you fucking sack of shit! If you really cared about people not being fucking harassed you would fucking do the bare minimum!

Tho considering you’re the same person who said “it’s no wonder antis and criticals don’t like you guys!” I expect nothing less, if anyone sounds like an abuse apologist here it’s you.

The entire fandom shouldn’t have to suffer cuz a few people here are assholes, you’re one of them.

Stop fucking projecting onto people so fucking obviously, it’s pathetic af.

At least I’m honest I’m a fucking bitch and I have no qualms in admitting it. I know who I am.

Christ at least Squidiot was fucking funny to laugh at in hindsight, you’re just pathetic and irritating.

Grow tf up or get the fuck out, take your fucking dogshit takes with you.

🧨🔥~Firecracker out~🧨🔥