#i can just picture this the most earnest child in the world

[variousqueerthings]

FRASER: Ray, all right. Listen. When I was little, my grandparents took me on vacation to Aklavik. VECCHIO: What, for a little sun and sand? FRASER: Oh, hardly. It's a thriving urban center. Anyway, one day I — I wandered off alone when they were window shopping. There I was, all alone in a big city. The point is, Ray, that I became hungry. Very hungry. And I knew no one. I, I had no money. I — I was desperate. VECCHIO: So you ate a polar bear. FRASER: Well, don't be ridiculous, Ray. I boiled my shoes. My, my oxfords. My left oxford, to be exact. Boy, did my grandmother ever tan my hide over that one.

so many things fraser says as par for the course and it truly explains so much about *waves hands* all of that

[wolvndmouth]

Guys. I think about this shot a lot. Seven (7) times a day, minimum.

This is the exact moment Wade realizes that Logan looks at him, like really looks at him. Logan’s eyes have always been reading Wade in every way they can. Annoyed and scowling aside, he tries in earnest to understand who Wade is through his cracked humor and self-depreciation. No matter how angry he is, no matter how confused he is, he has eyes on Wade. When they’re staring at each other from opposite sides of a gun, when they’re sitting across each other in the diner, when they first fight in the Void, when they argue in the Odyssey; each one of these scenes have a moment where Wade is showing his cards and Logan, even through his rage and thirst to hurt, stills himself to listen and learn for as long as he can.

The man has no choice in the matter. Charles left him with the burden of knowing what it is to be loved, even at his most difficult. He’s felt the healing that comes from someone being able to look past his defenses and aggression and have the patience to plant compassion in the spaces of him that need it the most. He hasn’t been able to bring himself to unbury all the good he had before the bad, but it doesn’t stop him from having the guts to be gentle and kind when someone least deserves it. One of his gentlest moments is when he takes Juggernaut’s helmet off Cassandra to save her, and his wish to be the man that Charles thinks he is is what strengthens his ability to comfort the displaced and love-starved child that Nova really is. It is that same hope that allows him to take a chance on Wade. All Logan can do is hear him out and do his best to see the merc for who he truly is. It takes him some time, but from the moment they met in the bar, to joining Wade’s world, Logan’s gaze never wavers; it only changes as he grows to understand Wade more. He is able to look past Deadpool, and see Wade Wilson.

‘Never take your eyes off an enemy’ evolves into looking at a mirror to his own soul. Wade is everything Logan is, and everything Logan isn’t. They are yin and yang down to the very cores of their being, and for Logan, it’s a tough pill to swallow when he realizes just how easy it is for Wade to love. It’s not only consistently thrown in his face with Wade’s repeated reminders of what’s at stake, but Wade showing him the picture of everything he has left forces him to reflect on the walls he’s built around himself and why. He has made so many mistakes, and he can do nothing but examine his own failures as an X-Man and as Logan himself. He is astounded by Wade’s ability to survive with his heart so crudely stapled to his sleeve, and when he looks at that photo, there’s a piece of him that almost wouldn’t mind being a part of the portrait. He thinks of a world where Scott doesn’t have to beg him to put on the suit. Where Jean, Storm, and Beast aren’t dead. Where Charles is still there to remind him everyday that he matters. Maybe a world where Charles could meet Wade and remind him that he matters too. But “when they fix your world” becomes “if they fix your world”, I imagine in the bitterness of that, Logan starts off repulsed by Wade’s openness to overfill his cup and share what overflows. It’s a slow eventuality, but inevitable nonetheless; Logan learns how to let Wade pour into him. His eyes soften and steady towards Wade as their relationship progresses. When being introduced to Althea, it’s obvious that something inside him has calmed, and the soft nod he gives is the only way Logan knows how to say that actually wants to be there. He’s answered Wade’s call and didn’t walk away. Logan can finally look at Wade with a sureness that he’s not going anywhere.

[GIF by bettercallcohen]

And I think Wade can feel that. Wade is so open because his universe is so small compared to everyone else’s. 9 people. 9 people who make him feel seen, make his heart full, and that make him feel like he belongs somewhere. So when he’s presented with the chance to add #10 to the Polaroid, when someone can actually see him through his vulgarities, through the violence, through his cancerous mutation, it’s more than just surprising when it’s someone like Logan. It’s been a long time since someone’s looked at him like he’s home. No one has looked at him that way since Vanessa. And he probably felt like no one would ever look at him that way ever again. But then here comes Logan, all eyes on him, shredding him to pieces and picking him apart. Wade is the only person he knows in this world, and Wade is the only person in this world that knows him. Logan is forced to confront the idea of being seen and being needed by someone again. Wade comes to him in a crazy, desperate attempt to save the people he loves, and instead he finds one more person to violently stitch into the fabric of his existence.

It’s intense, probably for the both of them, but Wade only knows intensity. Maximum effort. Nothing is off the table, nothing is left behind. Wade’s eyes are as loud as his mouth and bear a burden of their own; a burden of honesty when it comes to conveying his feelings as being one of the only things the Weapon-X experimentation left true and untouched. He sees the truth and they speak the truth. He could see right through Logan from the moment they met. Where Logan could only see a traitor, the Worst Wolverine, Wade saw someone that could teach him how to be a hero. Where Logan could only see himself as the wrong guy for the job, Wade knew this man was the only one capable of saving everyone and everything he loved in this world. He just wasn’t expecting Logan to become part of that world.

Wade is a tractor beam for both the jaded and the gentle, and there is a softness in his eyes that is warm and inviting and penetrating all at the same time. For Wade, it’s not hard to look at Logan and see the tired parts of himself in him. He sees in him the familiar longing for death. He sees a world where he doesn’t have Cable’s time machine to make things right, where Vanessa and Peter are still dead, and he’s blowing out birthday candles alone. Logan is a mirror in his own right; a reflection of not only his failures, but his fears as well. The fear that there may be a day where his luck runs out, and being crazy isn’t enough to save his world.

Crazy is what Wade does best, and the two of them have more than enough instances where “your crazy matches my crazy”. But it’s not hard to see that the way Logan looks at Wade during those moments morphs from a sharpened hostility to a warm familiarity. Though the context of this last scene is Logan fulfilling his duty as a wingman, it is the very second Wade realizes that the other man’s gaze has lost its vitriol and conviction has taken its place. It’s the moment Wade figures out that Logan is serious about wanting to stay, serious about learning how to live in his universe, and serious about his change of heart towards him. It’s a Logan that has accepted his twin flame, and is comforted by the thought that he has someone now that can not only take everything he can give and more, but can bite back just as hard. It’s no secret that Wade holds a space for Logan, but he’s never been concerned with whether or not Logan has done the same. So the moment he’s met with a gaze that is as sure and true as Logan’s is, Wade knows there’s not only room for him to bare all, but now there’s someone that won’t shield their eyes and look away when he does.

[natasha-in-space]

Unironically, I think that Saeyoung would enjoy carrying his S/O around in his arms the most out of all mysmes characters. Take a moment to think about it. He knows he's in good physical shape. But nobody else does. He avoids talking about it or showing it off. It's a rather big contrast compared to his other skills and accomplishments he loves bragging about in the chatrooms, even if he often muddies the truth to keep everyone safe from his true identity. And when someone does notice the defined muscle in his arms, he's rather dismissive of it. A strange: 'Oh, yeah, I got some muscle' attitude, before he casually switches the subject. I kind of feel like he has very negative connotations about his own physical strength.

Saeyoung is a protector. It's his best AND he's worst quality simultaneously. As a child, he was too weak to protect Saeran. He used his brain, not his muscle. Now, he's a grown man. A strong, grown man who's probably much more capable of protecting someone physically when push comes to shove. But instead that strength is utilized by him for shady jobs at best, and downright horrible crimes at worst. His strength does no good for him. But he's forced to maintain it nonetheless. To remain alive. In order to protect Saeran, he needs to remain alive. To protect his brother not with his muscle. But with his brain.

Now, imagine this. His perspective on himself changes greatly when you come into his life. You help him believe in himself, to fight for what he thinks is right, to have hope into the bright future where he actually deserves to be happy and free, along with his family. He has viewed himself as nothing but a fraud, a forever tainted fallen angel, but you make him see the good and earnest man inside him that has always been there.

And with you, he can use his muscles for good, for the first time in his life. He can make you smile, squeal, and giggle in delight as he effortlessly sweeps you off your feet and twirls you around, joining you in your fit of laughter. He can help you carry the groceries on the way to his car, such a simple and mundane gesture, but one he finds himself enjoying almost too much. He can make you feel safe as he carries you up to your shared bedroom, since you can just relax and nuzzle into him without any worry in the world.

Because he's got you.

I'm skeptical that Saeyoung will stick to the same workout routine he had to follow while being an informant. Once his father is out of the picture and he knows his family is safe, he can allow himself to relax. Indulge a little. But I do think he'll maintain some of his muscle mass, specifically in his arms. As time passes and you settle into the quiet life of domestic bliss he's always dreamed of, his shape will become more supple and round, but his arms will always be there to remind you that he'll forever be your anchor.

And for him to remember that his strength can now be used to make someone happy.

[somanywords]

headcanon anon back again !! don't worry about the smaller details of the movie, my headcanons are mostly based just on vibes.

these are my scotty headcanons :)

⏤ he's autistic. my proof is that i'm autistic and he is literally me as a child.

⏤ spoiled as hell. look at him. only child raised by an extremely loving and doting mom. there's no way she didn't spoil him.

⏤ more of a science and math nerd, but he does enjoy history and english as well.

⏤ gets the WORST spring allergies.

⏤ can technically cook, but only if he has very clear step-by-step instructions on what to do. so he can only make stuff like boxed mac and cheese.

⏤ kinda likes doing class presentations because he feels proud of the work he put into it, although he does get kind of shy when he actually has present in front of the class.

⏤ he always double-knots his shoelaces because they will come untied if he doesn't.

⏤ he simultaneously likes scary stories and the one who gets most freaked out by them. he'll pretend not to be scared though.

and my benny headcanons !!

⏤ he's a morning person. it was his idea to wake up at eight o' clock in the morning to go play at the sandlot.

⏤ he has younger siblings. he just gives me older brother vibes idk.

⏤ he refuses to admit when he's sick. he could be dying and he'd still be like "i'm fine, you guys are overreacting."

⏤ says he doesn't like little kids, but he's still really great with them.

⏤ literally the most earnest person in the world. says exactly what he thinks, whether it's positive or negative.

⏤ you can tell he's an oldest sibling because he's bossy as hell. like if he tells his friends to stop doing something and they ask why, he's always like "because i said so."

⏤ adding onto the last headcanon, he always explains why if they ask again, but his initial reasoning is almost always the "because i said so."

⏤ sometimes he'll just lay down and toss a baseball in the air while bored. he has smacked himself in the face doing this SO many times.

that first one--your word is going enough for me! :D also yeah. only children 🤨 OMG i can totally picture him sneezing up a storm in the spring too poor guy. benny has SUCH older brother vibes, he's so good at adopting kids. oMG the last one lmaoooo i love it. all of these are so fun, you can really get a rounded sense of who they are as characters here! great stuff!

[ashrifts]

@deathfavor asked:

❛  i'm going to make sure nothing bad will ever happen to you again.  ❜ ( okay hear me out here but them pre-tenjiku )

in a world where the light of the law cannot reach the downslopes to drugs and death slithering in the shadows the haitani brothers have always called home, there's only two rules that will always ring true: you cannot trust anyone but yourself, and the only currency worth anything more than money was spilled blood with a name attached to it and a debt it neglected to repay.

at twelve, ran does not simply witness, but enforces this factㅤ───ㅤthe first pay is enough to get rindou brand new glasses, and they no longer have to sneak into the cinema theatre in between functions, and they spend hours arguing over which vending machine to drop their loose change in, and ran eats so many new desserts that rindou had panicked when he wouldn't wake up the day after. at thirteen, this becomes routine, and they become the kings of the world.

they never needed anyone else but each other; not the parents out of the polaroid pictures ran keeps in his pocket, not the bosses who believed them pawns in ran's own chessboard, not the fickleness of teaming up with people who would betray them when the opportunity arose.

this kid may be strong, but he is foolishㅤ───ㅤand the most foolish thing of all is the part of ran that wants to believe him.

ㅤㅤㅤ‘ㅤthat's a tall promise.ㅤ’ㅤㅤand arrogant, too. ran grins.ㅤㅤ‘ㅤi can look after myself just fine. i have been looking after myself just fine a~ll this time. i don't need you to do it for me.ㅤ’

yet. yetㅤ───ㅤthere's a tight curl to his smile, almost a grimace, and a shadow over his eyes, almost resentment. he doesn't understand it now, but in five years, in seven, in seventeen, he will look back at this moment and realize he'd just been a child, even with the blood smeared on his hands, even with the ability to choose who lives and who dies with a smile on his face. he'd just been a child, and no one but his own little brother had looked out for him.

they never needed anyone else but each other, after allㅤ───ㅤbut what happens when one is gone? when the debt collector has an overdue debt of his own, and only death can pay it off? before meeting izana, ran had never thought of his past catching up to him, because he'd be strong enough to fend off anyone who came for his throne... but the person who had broken his dreams in the first place sits at his prison cell's bunk bed by him, with words so earnest, compassionate, it almost makes ran laugh to his face.

he doesn't. he stops smiling, and he looks at him in the eye, assessing.

ran does not believe in much, but he believes in izana's strength, and he believes in his ambition. he realizes, too, that izana would gain nothing from betraying them, that whatever he needed from them, he'd take if he truly wanted it, and no honeyed words would be necessary when his fists had already spoken convincingly enough. he didn't need to win ran over, not when ran had willingly chosen to follow him, even if izana saw his obedience as submission or cowardice. these words were honest, so ran allows him the same honesty in return.

ㅤㅤㅤ‘ㅤthat's not something people can control. not even you.ㅤ’ㅤㅤhe tells him bluntly, but not unkindly. there's a foreign softness to him that smooths out the edges of his voice and warmths the indifference in his eyes as he tilts his head, closely, carefully observing the very first person he considered an equal. subordination is as new to him as it is to the rest of this vicious generation, and his own words feel oddly clumsy in his mouth in a way they never have before. he doesn't know if it's the unknown budding comradeship throwing off his game or something like wonder at someone wanting to protect him. he doesn't know how to rationalize it, so he does not know how to accept it... but it doesn't feel belittling. it feels... reassuring, and that in itself is a newer experience than being bested in a fight.ㅤㅤ‘ㅤwe'll look out for each other when you make our team, right? i watch your back, you watch mine, all that corny stuffㅤ───ㅤand in the case i bite the dust first... then you do your best to make sure nothing bad happens to rindou.ㅤ’

he allows his new grin to wash out the melancholy mood from the air, playfully holding up his pinky finger.

ㅤㅤㅤ‘ㅤhow's that for a promise?ㅤ’

[hukkelberg]

i have no idea if you care about asoiaf/got at all but i cannot stop thinking about pen as master of whisperers in the asoiaf universe. sorry i just needed to put this somewhere

imma be real with you i have never watched a full episode of GOT since the first season came out BUT im addicted to spoilers for shows ill never watch and i read asoiaf crossovers semi regularly ssjjdhs so im earnest in my reply but mostly uninformed

i really think she'd excel at this post you're sooo right to visualise her there she's very like. varys/littlefinger adjacent my questions begin with 1) how does she get there 2) who is she serving under

first one's kind of easy cuz you can sort of transpose most of her background without moving around a lot (while i am STRUGGLING to picture the bridgertons in such a hard place, portia featherington? Fits right in.) i think she's a daughter of a minor lord house, vassal to a major region's house (not the bridgertons tho. it'd be fun to see her under simon's father's house, depending on who they are), but like, important enough that philippa is betrothed to at least the second son of that major house. this does nothing for pen, who's the third child and also ""ugly"" (but also with a very fetching figure as she grows, which is dangerous -- this is a very ugly world -- and i think not something she'd wise up to immediately but which would mark her interactions with the world). she'd probably get sent to serve as a handmaiden and i think she could, by a stroke of luck and genius, be positioned in a good family (it could be the bridgertons, but i think it'd be more interesting if it weren't). that's around when she begins training her ears and gathering people. when her lady goes to king's landing for whatever reason, it follows that penelope rebuilds another, bigger network of information so as to keep herself and her lady in safety. Like i said, this is i think a very natural progression to her character

what intrigues me is 2) who she serves under, bc the master of whisperers is an official post, which means she has visibly risen through the ranks for a skill which relies in secrecy (which parallels the whistledown reveal in some way, but invites its own questions abt pen's position), so who would she do that for? who the king is in this world also dictates what the vibe is like (were u picturing like, same world and people + bridgertons, or a supplantation?)

[silverwhittlingknife]

snippet (post-Batman and Robin 6)

Flamingo shoots Damian.

Flamingo shoots—

Damian might never walk again because Dick didn’t protect him and Jason is sneering and Dick is punching him and Gordon is shouting, shouting, shouting, but Dick can’t hear him, the only thing that he can hear is Jason.

“Don’t tell me the kid’s mother can’t find a Lazarus pit! They brought me back! How can you live with yourself—he’s still dead because of something you can never admit!  You just couldn’t stand the fact that you were always gonna be in his shadow!”

(It never ends.)

The cops pull him off Jason before he does any serious damage.

(It never ends it never ends it never—)

(What kind of monster hurts a child?  What kind of monster—)

He talks to the al-Ghuls because they may be monsters but Dick would make a deal with any monster in the world if it meant that Damian could walk.  And he sends Damian to Talia, because he has to.  And he sends Alfred with Damian, because Damian’s a kid even if he pretends he’s not and he ought to have someone looking after him.

And Dick stays behind.  Alone.

And.

The body is right there, and—

I’m sorry, Bruce.

Jason’s wrong about everything.  Though that’s nothing new, of course.  Dick would give anything to be in Bruce’s shadow again.  And he doesn’t need to ask the al-Ghuls about a Lazarus pit.

(Dick can find one himself.)

* * *

Dick flies to England.  He should spend the downtime resting, or preparing for battle, or researching what’s to come.

Instead he spends most of the flight arguing with Tim.

Not the real Tim, of course.  The real Tim is—somewhere.  Probably not England.  No, the argument he’s having is just taking place in his mind.  Tim is calling him a hypocrite.  Pointing out that they had a whole fight about Lazarus pits.  Saying that he should know better, that he does know better.

Dick, however, is winning the argument.  

He wins the argument several times while he crosses the Atlantic and then again that evening, staring up at the ceiling in a crappy hotel, rehearsing all his justifications.  There are a lot of justifications, but they all boil down to one thing: Batman is important.  Bruce is important.  

More important than my parents? Imaginary-Tim says.  Than yours?

Yes. 

It sounds terrible but it’s true.  Batman is more important than other people.  So much more important than Dick ever realized before he had to live without him.  They can’t do this without Bruce.  Everything is falling to pieces.

You’re not even here, he tells Imaginary-Tim.

Dick can almost picture Tim here, which is probably a bad sign about how long it’s been since he slept.  The Tim frowning at him in his imagination is younger than the real one and his face is tensed up in the way he used to get when he thought Dick was making bad decisions.  The I’m-worried-about-you face.  Alternatively: the you-seem-broken-how-do-I-fix-it face.  

Dick is not a fan of this face.

I know what I’m doing, Dick tells him.

Visual hallucinations can be a symptom of delirium or psychosis, Tim says, frowning.  Don’t you think your decision-making ability is compromised?  

Then he’s in another corner of the room, looking even younger, earnest, wide-eyed.  Dick.  I really think this is a mistake.  You think so too.  That’s why I’m here, right?

For a moment Dick misses him more than he can bear.

[apompkwrites]

reader impact || first meetings: unreconciled stars

series masterlist characters: scaramouche, fischl, mona genre: fluff summary: a game has been released entitled genshin impact, consisting of otherworldly abilities relying on the basic elements of nature. the game follows the story of an interdimensional traveling twin in search of their other half. along this journey, they meet different characters that live in this world. including you. notes: i'm sorry fischl and mona's aren't that good :(( this is actually my first time writing for them but i hope you enjoy <33

scaramouche's playthrough -

oof scara

scara scara scara

this boy hates his chat and at this point they don't care.

it's not like he'll badmouth them, right?

think ludwig.

that's him.

he's a very angy boy please--

as for what he does?

much like childe he'd do a lot of pvp games.

he's not too keen on showing off his personal life.

he prefers that boundary between his viewers and himself, y'know?

he honestly doesn't even understand why his viewers like him.

he knows he's a mean person and yet here they are :/

he doesn't take requests from his viewers he just kinda plays whatever he wants.

imagine his viewers' surprise when they see him streaming genshin--

they asked why a lot.

"it seemed cool."

this man just wants to play some good ol' anime games.

his chat calls him soft and he just glares.

anyway now he's actually playing.

he's not really into mondstadt's characters they're all... okay to him.

he feels a bit better in liyue.

not because it's pretty oh no no no.

because look at all the enemies outside >:))

he'll clear the whole field don't test him.

anyway, now onto the unreconciled stars event :00

this man really doesn't like katheryne--

anyway at this point he's tasked with find fritz, which he doesn't really want to do.

he sees the dude on the ground but that's only after he sees someone standing next to him.

and then he sees someone standing next to him :0

"is the guy on the floor sleeping?"

"i believe so. i've tried everything, but he won't wake up."

he will pause to look at your outfit.

it's so complex but it's so cool!!!

his chat suspects something's up but... he'll just snap at them like he normally does.

but he'll silently admire you <3

also yOU'RE T I N Y ! !

and then paimon points out your clothes and the cameras pans up your body--

"heh... and by "this person over here," you mean me, right?"

he will choose the "those unique clothes are quite beautiful" option in a heartbeat.

he doesn't care that his chat is teasing him, he just wants you to know :))

he's kinda sad when you leave, though...

"please come back soon..."

his CHAT HAS NEVER SEEN HIM SO SOFT BEFORE

skip to a few events later when the constellation is revealed to be leonard's.

the sudden cutscene catches him off guard because he's prepared to fight someone.

"hi! sounds interesting... mind if i join you?"

he won't say anything but he will physically relax at the sight of you.

you make this man soft please--

he's lowkey angry when his character is teleported away from you :(

(name): the sixth of the eleven fatui harbingers

HYPEHYPEHYPE

YOU'RE SO COOL!

of course he doesn't say that but his chat can tell that's what he's thinking.

this man's eyes go wide when you order the fatui around.

please help he really likes you. you're so assertive and cute and cool and just AGH--

fischl's playthrough -

fischl can and will do cosplay streams.

her fans like to watch her because of the "character" she puts up for the camera.

honestly she just does this because she genuinely enjoys cosplaying and bringing characters to life.

oz is the nickname for her pet bird :))

she definitely gets a lot of trolls in her chat that make fun of her for her cosplays and "dumb" way of speaking.

in which case she'll just yell at them using her "dumb" way of speaking.

she really does care about how people see her but her chat comforts her a lot after, so she feels better after a few minutes :))

the games she plays are very fantasy based and take place in worlds that don't exist.

once she gets into a game, she'd pick her favorite character and cosplay as them everytime she streams that game.

sometimes she does sewing streams where she actually makes her own cosplay with her fans.

they like to make it with her if they have the materials :D

genshin impact was a game her fans recommended because they actually want to see fischl cosplay the characters.

they will beg her to do the cosplay creation on stream.

(they defintitely know who she'll choose to cosplay but it's fine)

when she reaches the unreconciled stars event, she's really excited to learn about the fated meteorite granting sleep upon touch.

she's ready to go around teyvat in search of an answer when...

"katheryne! vassal of the immernachtreich, do mine ears deceive me, or didst thou cry out mine holy name in earnest supplication not one moment ago?"

some of her chat is obviously confused by your speech but her long time viewers can understand some of it.

oz, who fischl had brought with her to play, seems excited to see your familiar flying to you :)

fischl is just as excited as he is!!

please you speak just like her and you're voice is so nice and it actually sounds like the developers put thought into what the speech would mean in "proper speech."

"a pleasure to meet you again, katheryne."

YOU'RE FAMILIAR IS JUST AS COOL AS YOU ARE!!

some of her viewers will beg for her to skip through your dialogue.

when she sees those comments, she will purposefully let your dialogue play out, proceed to read out that same dialogue, and respond to you as if she was actually talking to you.

not just to spite them but because it's also a lot of fun for her <3

"it would seem the gods have blessed us with meeting such a well-respected being!"

translation: she's really excited to have met you.

as soon as you spoke she decided she would cosplay as you.

she's already planning out all of the materials she'll need and how much time it would take.

if your familiar is a bird, you best bet oz will be in her photo shoots for your cosplay.

most of the time you're on screen, she'll talk to her viewers about you in her classic chuunibyou style <333

she's really sad when it's time for you to leave :(((

"... goodbye, fischl. you are a good listener. i enjoy chatting with you. to be honest, most of the other adventurers in the guild only ever talk to me when they wanna hear (familiar)'s reconnaissance reports... this little journey we had... it was a great adventure. i'm just sorry that is has to end so abruptly..."

she might cry wait--

she relates to you even more now :(

"ah! what am i doing? i totally broke form..."

you're too cute pleas--

mona's playthrough -

mona does a lot of nightly streams.

it's very rare for you to catch her streaming with daylight.

she likes to share things about astrology while sitting outside drinking something warm.

she'll do a lot of nightly gaming streams as well.

mainly calmer games that people can vibe to in the background.

she prefers to keep her streams lowkey and chill, much like the life she wants to lead.

if only she had the money to do so...

yes, mona is still struggling with money even as a streamer.

she greatly appreciates any donations her fans give to her because she practically relies on them to pay her rent and daily necessities.

of course, it's not like she's completely struggling, just enough to barely get her by.

anyway, her fans ask her about playing genshin impact, inticing her with their talk about the stars and night sky in the game.

she's the type of player to take her time in the environment and take a lot of pictures of her character at night.

she's actually really excited when she hears about this new event centering around the stars and sky :D

soon enough, she gets around to the part where she is need of an astrologist.

she's HYPED to hear there's an astrologist in the game.

"someone looking for me? who is it?"

she will squeal, please.

look at you!!!

your whole design has stars and is space-themed and you're so cute and you're voice is so soothing ! ! !

she really likes listening to you talk about astrology because your voice gets even softer than before.

that scene where you go to the cliff??

please she has that scene as her lockscreen <3

you just look so cool when you start to do your process.

you're so focused and the way they animate your process in the game is beautiful.

and then the fatui harbinger interrupts one of your meetings :00

you grab onto mona's character and teleport away in a cloud of stars and specks of your elemental vision.

she's kinda embarrassed when you scold her about getting involved with the harbinger--

but not only are you really cool and awesome, you're super strong, too!

please be sassy more she really likes how proud you sound :))

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from random Tumblr posts in May 2022

“My cereal is loud and it's demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and god so thoughtlessly.” “Um, actually, I'm womentally ill“ “Not only did they not work, they destroyed the paper.” “I swear if someone referred to me as “my love” I’d prolly die on the spot.” “I know it’s your first gala, but it’s important you don’t get lost.” “Unfortunately, the truth is that you’ll probably always feel less loved or seen than you actually are.” “I've been told to "stop being so passive-aggressive." I have since decided the proper course of action is to become fully aggressive.” “I’m trying to get hit by lightning.” “I’m not immune to how corsets make breasts look.” “ I could understand being a car guy 30 or 40 years ago, but all cars are so fucking ugly now.” “Why does everyone have swords in that picture?”       “It’s either a masterpiece or a disasterpiece.”   “Like what are you, Catholic?”   “I think one of the most important parts about film and tv analysis is never forgetting that no matter the genre or setting, the story is probably being filtered through the perspective of a person who lives in California.” “Teal and orange truly is the greatest color combo in the world. Like name one better combo.” “I learned that "Old Book Smell" is caused by lignin — a compound in wood-based paper — when it breaks down over time, it emits a faint vanilla scent.” “Do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?” “You're a hazard to society.” “I want an intelligent, earnest, tremulous, sincere, responsible, mature partner.” “Just this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.” “Who knew that potassium was so important to wolves' health?” "Why does your soap need internet?" “Were you dropped on your head as a child?” “In my defense, if I’m dropping thousands of dollars to see open vaginas and assholes, I really don’t want my background entertainment to be friggin’ baseball.” “Just trying to fucking survive being lost in the jungle.” “Mark your territory!!!” “People who live in areas where there are native lizards should never take that for granted. You can just go outside and see a little guy hanging out. What’s better than that?” “I’m sooo strong and masculine my arm doesn’t even shake when I’m holding a pot over the sink while I fill it up with water” “It’s ok to mourn the foods you can’t eat anymore.” “ If you found out that your dad has 120k followers on TikTok what would it be for? What would your dad's TikTok niche be?”

[twistedtummies2]

Christopher Lee: A Sinister Centenary - Number 26

Welcome to Christopher Lee: A Sinister Centenary! Over the course of May, I will be counting down My Top 31 Favorite Performances by my favorite actor, the late, great Sir Christopher Lee, in honor of his 100th Birthday. Although this fine actor left us a few years ago, his legacy endures, and this countdown is a tribute to said legacy! Today’s Subject, My 26th Favorite Christopher Lee Performance: The Creature, from The Curse of Frankenstein.

Of all the performances on this countdown, this one is arguably the most important of the lot. As it was for Boris Karloff, Lee’s performance as the Frankenstein Monster is, in essence, what truly started his career. He’d appeared in films and even some TV programs before Hammer’s 1957 reimagining of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein – which started a whole new series of films and is widely regarded as the true beginning of the Hammer Horror franchise – but it wasn’t till the actor tackled the role of The Creature (as Hammer called the character, in reference to the book) that Lee’s career finally began to take a real uptick in prosperity. The film also started Christopher Lee’s long-standing relationship with Peter Cushing: the two were frequent screen partners on film, and in real life, the pair were extremely close and bosom friends right up until Cushing’s death. The two had actually appeared onscreen in the same film before, in the 1948 screen version of “Hamlet,” starring Laurence Olivier, but they never actually met until this movie, and it was with this movie that their close partnership – both before the cameras and behind the scenes – began in earnest. So, with these facts in place��why is The Creature so low on the list? Well, first of all, allow me to point out that placing the Creature this low does not, by any means, indicate I dislike this portrayal of the Frankenstein Monster, nor does it mean I think this is one of Lee’s less impressive roles. Far from it! This is one of the first versions I think of, with the former point, and for the latter, it’s definitely clear to see why this role became such a big help to Lee in the future. The problem lies largely in the writing and direction: while “Curse of Frankenstein” is largely a most magnificent picture, its depiction of the Creature is, in my opinion, somewhat confusing. This version of the character is clearly inspired by Boris Karloff’s mute, lumbering portrayal, but has a different twist: Karloff’s Monster was a hapless and tragic figure, more often a character one felt sorry for than genuinely hated or feared. He was basically an overgrown child who didn’t quite know what he was doing or how to respond to the world around him. Anytime the Monster killed people, it was usually either out of a sense of self-defense, or just an unfortunate accident. This is not the case with Lee’s Creature: Lee’s Creature is also childlike, but a far more broken, disturbed child. Right from the start he has violent, downright sadistic tendencies, as he kills people with little to no provocation, and seems to genuinely enjoy the murders he commits. However, they still give the character a touch of pathos: the way it plays out, in terms of how Lee performs the part and the way things are framed and illustrated, seems to indicate the Creature isn’t entirely in control of his actions. It’s almost like there’s a split personality there, as he can go from a shambling, confused figure to a bloodthirsty killing machine with disturbing ease and believability. You truly get the feeling something went wrong in the making of this monster, making him much more unpredictable and dangerous. I do like this concept – and I also have to say I really love the design of the Creature, which harkens to the character of Cesare from The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, who arguably has some similarities to this portrayal of Frankenstein’s creation – but I wish we could have gotten a more consistent depiction of the character. Whether they be evil or good, it would have made some parts of the movie easier to follow. Still, Lee throws everything into the part, and the Creature remains an iconic and important milestone in his career. Tomorrow the countdown continues with My Number 25 choice!

[annaizscribbling]

I WANT TO KNOW!!! ABOUT ELLIE!!! i wanna know about the pink girl!!! shes very cute and sweet (and reminds me a lot of patton kinda) and i want to know more about her.

first of all, when i think of her i kinda think of jules from euphoria, but like in her pastel stages when she wasnt fucked up (/pos). shes so bubblegum. like, hubba bubba girl, yknow?

can i learn a little about her home life? what inspired her to be the way she is? shes been very fluffy since she was a child, clearly, but why? why not be angry at the world?

also you may already have talked about this but i havent scrolled through ur entire calypsokimm tag so i dont know, how did she meet the other girls?

I love Ellie so very much and will happily talk about her <3 fair warning I don't have quite as much backstory laid out for her like I do for Calypso (Cal has the most complex story by far, for obvious reasons, but the other's all have stories, most are just not as detailed/still in development) but there is still going to be so much.

I haven't watched euphoria do idk Jules outside of like, pretty pictures, but I can confirm that Ellie is very hubba bubba bubblegum girl

As I've mentioned in passing, my OCs were originally going to my own sides, but I very quickly decided I could do more with them as their own people. Ellie was set to be the bulk of my emotions, my vulnerability, and my more childish tendencies. I did not want one side to be morality, because I would have given that job to Logic/Athena, which probably tells you something about me as a person lol.

But she would have taken on Patton's character type, as bubbly, oblivious, honest, childish, and angelic in terms of virtue.

Most of the girls have names that fit them perfectly because of like origins and meanings and even what countries they came from, but not Ellie. I looked it up just now, and it means 'light' which is surprisingly fitting for her.

The reason I named her Ellie was simply after my childhood dog. She (the dog) is very old now, but still with us and deeply loved. We first got her when I was around seven or so, and at the time, I adored the name, and always loved to play pretend using it as my character. When we got the dog, my brother suggested it and here we are 11 years later.

All of my girls embody different parts of me, quite literally, because that was the original plan. Ellie literally has the name I used to play pretend with as a kid, and is the name of my oldest pet.

She's unique in that way, as well as her color scheme even. She's color coded with light blue (nod to pat) and pink. Her hair is dyed blue save the ends, which are still her natural brown for some reason.

As for her personality, Ellie is incredibly sunny. She lights up the room as soon as she walks in, she's so good at charming people with earnest conversation and an easy going excitable nature that draws people in. She's lighthearted, funny, giggly, and has a special knack for understanding people. She can be impulsive, wild, and high energy at all times. Sometimes she's reckless, filled with a deep wonder and adoration for the world around her and the things within it. She feels like she's bubbling over with a profound joy for everything around her.

The world is beautiful, to Ellie. It's gorgeous and overwhelming, but so so worth it.

She can be observant, but only when it comes to a person's character, how they work, what they like, and the things that make them special. She won't notice the new curtains or remember what she had breakfast or lots of other basic things that drive Athena to the brink of insanity, but she knows Athena's tells for when she's especially upset, or the sweater she wears when she's thinking about her boyfriend, or even the food she makes when she didn't sleep well the night before. Ellie is good at people, she understands them on a deep and empathic level, she just doesn't notice that she ran another red light by mistake.

Her emotional intelligence comes across as older than she is. In her late twenties, she manages to carry both her almost innocent giddy personality and her very calm, mature, almost ancient understanding of anyone she comes across. She cares, in an honest and loving way that's so genuine it's nearly startling. She almost effortlessly knows how to comfort people, whatever your love language is when you need it, or even what type of person you need. She can be tender and motherly, she can be playful like a sibling, supportive like a friend, or just a loving figure who'll listen to you when you have nobody else.

She's the closest with Bree, but Ellie is good friends with all of her roommates. She makes a point of coaxing Athena and Luna especially into being more open, and she's managed to get them to open up more, so they're able to have friendships where they can all be vulnerable, even where they hate it.

Ellie really is a special person, on some level she knows it. It isn't through grand gestures or a global impact. She doesn't really care too much about leaving her mark on the world or being infamous. Ellie is just different, she understands people. She loves them. She is unique

Alright I'll give some actual background now. It'll explain some of that.

Ellie grew up pretty middle class, her parents had a rocky relationship even before she came along, but they kept their struggling relationship under wraps and just stewed. Ellie was an only child, as her parents quickly realized that having a child didn't fix anything for them, and having another would just be more difficult.

Ellie would never grow up feeling loved by her mother and father.

She was always provided basic necessities as well as entertainment, but was never close or even wanted around her parents, not unless they were in public.

Her parents weren't rich, but were well established in their social circles. They came from a very large extended family with high expectations for how well a family should get along. From neighborhoods, coworkers, friends, and family, it was important to Ellie's family that they looked like the ideal family.

From as young as six years old, Ellie knew when to smile, when it was okay to hug her parents, and when she was expected to sit in her father's lap or hide behind her mom's leg. It never felt real to her, it just felt right. Mom and Dad smiled and laughed with her in public, dad would scoop her up, bouncing her and saying something silly whenever grandma was watching them. Mom would nod when Ellie made a cute comment to Mom's friend. They never said it explicitly, Ellie just learned what was expected of her, what made Mom and Dad happy.

And Ellie really wanted them to be happy.

They fought and screamed at home. They hated eating dinner together, it always ended up so tense and snappy when they did. Ellie didn't understand the numbers and names they were talking about but they made everything scarier. She never knew when the air would break and it would become a true fight. Ellie would be tersely sent to the other room, and Ellie would sit far back on the couch with her hands in her lap, fists around her dress, and her eyes locked straight ahead. She tried desperately not to hear it, or think about it. It was too scary to listen to the yelling.

She wasn't sure if she loved how they seemed to love her when they weren't fighting, or if she just feared the anxiety that rose and bubbled in her chest when they fought.

So she learned. She learned to do good things. if she cleaned the kitchen, Daddy wasn't as annoyed when he came home. If she complimented Mom's body a whole bunch, she'd be lighter, and less likely to start snapping at Dad. She memorized all of their favorite movies and books, so she could always bring them up or play them on TV. It was a quick way to distract them after dinner, if they made it through dinner at all.

They liked when she was cute and quiet. They liked when she made simple friends and did easy activities with them. They liked when she did arts and crafts to put on the fridge. They liked when she was curious about all the right parts of their jobs. They liked when she made safe lighthearted jokes, but only when the mood was correct.

Ellie learned all of the subjects that set Dad off. Ellie learned what tones lead Mom down an angrier path. She learned when and where to interrupt before either parent upset the other.

When she was ten, her father ended up getting a hefty promotion. It changed their dynamic, for the better at first, but everything quickly came back to the stressful everyday life she was so accustomed to.

Then she met Bree, one of her new neighbors.

Ellie had always worked hard to keep herself under control. Make sure all of her qualities were kept under wraps and easy to digest. She kept her positivity dialed all the way up, kept herself as quiet as possible, and never pursued anything impulsive, loud, adventurous, or unpredictable. There was a deep longing inside of her, that wanted nothing more than to throw on her favorite neon blue cardigan and run barefoot through the park, play with other kids, die laughing at a schoolmate, get messy in the mud on a rainy day, finally listen to loud music and scream it without caring who hears, and do things at the drop of a hat.

As desperately as she wanted it, none of that was an option, not in her family. She wasn't sure if she was angry, even as an adult reflecting on it, she's not sure. Adult Ellie might be angry on her younger self's behalf, but little Ellie wasn't angry, just very very scared, and very sad. Her little body was nearly in tatters trying to keep so much love held back, but there was no one to receive or give her the love she craved.

So she spend her days fantasizing about the person she wished she was, but could never be.

But Bree was like that. Bree was very much like that person she wished she was.

Bree was loud. She loved attention as much as she loved giving it. She liked shiny things and singing at the top of her lungs to songs in a language Ellie doesn't know. She loves swooshy dresses and glitter, and is constantly affectionate with her family and friends. She did fun things, she climbed trees, helped her mom cook, ran down the street to meet with her friends, laughed without monitoring her volume, made messes she begrudgingly cleaned. She could be whiny or pouty, but it never stuck and she was always ready to pull herself up. She was feisty maybe petty, and fun. Bree was so fun and Bree's parents didn't dislike the way she had fun. They reigned her in if she got too wild, but they loved her, even when she was difficult or loud.

It shocked Ellie.

Because it was everything Ellie had every dreamed of, living just three doors down.

Somehow they became friends after meeting a few times at block parties and the local pool, and Ellie was introduced to a brand new world. It was like the planet turned upside down. For the first time in her life, Ellie could be herself.

They could be loud, spontaneous, wild, silly, childish, messy, and everything else a 10 year old child was supposed to be. Bree's house was a safe place, with a family who was charmed by her gentle soul and sweet friendship with their youngest daughter. It was a friendship that saved Ellie from the brink of giving up, even as young as she was.

And life went on.

Ellie had neither the desire or the ability to articulate what her homelife was like, so her friendship with Bree was a simply a solace from it all, and the two grew and remained almost impossibly close. The two even ended up at the same school after the next summer, and their days were filled with each other. Endless memories and shrieks of laughter filling their days.

It was the happiest few years of her entire life thus far.

Then her parents took her out of that school to switch her to another. She silently lamented the loss of seeing Bree daily, but still spent copious amounts of time with her outside of school. Things were still okay, things were still happy. She was okay. Everything was okay. Her parents were difficult, but there was peace, life was worth it, and her love for the world had a place to go. She just had to smile

Then Calypso happened.

Ellie loved Cal. She was accepting another person into her life, almost to the same extent that she trusted Bree. Cal was soft and kind, good and pure and gentle. Calypso was not, and the pain of that betrayal nearly broke her.

She spiraled for weeks, barely sleeping, eating, or even getting out of bed for anything but school. Her parents paid little attention, but Bree's family did express some concern that Ellie's own parents pretended to care about. The fighting had been infinitely worse lately, with nonstop screaming, breaking things, kicking each other out of the house. She wasn't sure if it ever got physical, and she was terrified of finding out. Ellie barely saw them, but when she did, she'd just smile. She was so good at smiling. Smile. Smile. Just smile.

She hated Calypso, missed her, loved her, grieved her, despised her.

But Calypso revealed the truth to her, in a terrible, cruel way that ached just to think about.

Ellie lied in order to survive, and it hurt.

It was that simple.

Good thing Ellie liked a challenge

[not-a-coral-snake]

for @lamenweek Day 4 prompt: Family

Laurent cannot find it in himself to forgive Kastor. 

He tells himself it doesn’t matter. It’s not his place to forgive Kastor. Aside from a few crude remarks the morning of his trial, Kastor has done nothing to wrong Laurent. It was Damen who he wronged, and Damen has, to all appearances, forgiven him. 

Laurent cannot. It makes little difference anyway, he tells himself. Kastor is dead. If Laurent’s feelings towards him have changed, it doesn’t matter to Kastor.

It matters to Damen.

Damen speaks of Kastor to Laurent, from time to time. Not overly frequently, but when something reminds him of his brother, some quirk of his or a story, Damen will say. Laurent learns that the pastries served at a banquet had always been Kastor’s favorites; that Kastor and Damen had used to lurk on a particular balcony and drop leaves onto the heads of passerby below; that Kastor’s preferred sport was discus, which he had tried to teach Damen when Damen had been so small the weight and momentum had been enough to pull him off balance onto the ground. 

Laurent recognizes these kernels of information for the offerings that they are. Offerings on several levels, really: first and foremost, bits of stories given in equal exchange for the stories about Auguste that Laurent is learning to share with Damen. Stories given in reassurance, as well, that Damen does not hate or resent him for having killed his brother. Laurent is grateful for this: he cannot deny that there had been a moment he had been afraid, after he killed Kastor, that the universe would be cruelly, ironically just and Damen would turn away from him. And at the simplest level, the stories are a gift for Laurent to get to know Damen better, to understand his childhood, his family, how he became the man he is today. 

Laurent smiles at the stories, nods, laughs in the right places. But he cannot let himself simply be charmed by them. Cannot hear Kastor’s name and not remember Damen, drugged and beaten and shackled to the floor that first day in Arles, or prone on blood-slick marble in Ios. Sometimes, Damen will recount a story that occurred when he was thirteen or thereabouts, and all Laurent can think of is the older, thicker scar on Damen’s abdomen, picture a man already grown to adulthood fencing with a child. He was already trying to kill you then, he wants to say, and does not. 

Laurent had fenced with Auguste at thirteen. He can remember the earnestness of youth, feeling, as Damen had, proud to be grown up and taken seriously. To imagine himself having been in any danger on those occasions is alien, absurd. 

Laurent doesn’t like lying to Damen. Doesn’t like keeping this from him. But telling the truth would serve no purpose, would only be picking at a barely-closed scab. Still, he worries that Damen will be able to tell his true feelings, whether Laurent says anything or not. Damen has grown adept at reading Laurent, can read his mood from movements and inflections and hesitancies that Laurent doesn’t even know he has. 

When enough time has passed that Laurent has despaired of the matter resolving itself on its own, he finds a quiet afternoon to visit Kastor’s grave. Pushing down his feelings about the man has done little to help; perhaps it will help if instead he gives those feelings time to be heard. Like granting an audience to an irritating courtier: unpleasant, but contained, and eventually ended. 

Kastor’s grave is a nice place, quiet, peaceful. He had received a proper burial with all the customary rites and been buried with his father and ancestors. Damen, giving orders from his sickbed, had made sure of it. 

Laurent stands there for a minute, letting himself feel the stillness of the place. Then he gathers his thoughts.

“I will never understand you,” he says. “I could never have done what you did. You will tell me, I presume, that of course I don’t understand you. No one could, without knowing the world as you knew it. But I think you’ll find that I have had a closer perspective than most. My brother was the heir, and not just the heir, but the favored son, the one who excelled at everything. And the court was not shy about making it known to me that I was the spare child, the disappointment. My own father—

“But my brother loved me, as Damianos loved you. And nothing, nothing in this world or any other, could have driven me to betray him for my own gain.

“And now, I am king. My brother is dead, my father is dead. I have what you wanted. All of it. And if you asked me if I would trade my fate, give up my throne to have my brother alive again, well, I wouldn’t even have to think about it. I would give up the kingship in a heartbeat.”

He stands there for some time, thinking of duels and scars and the long quiet afterwards. Thinking of a boy and his brother, riding ponies over golden fields. And then he begins the long walk back to the palace. 

He is still feeling contemplative and a bit sad after his return to the palace that evening. Damen notices, as Laurent half-knew he would. “Something’s bothering you,” he says. 

“I went to Kastor’s grave today.” 

“Oh?” Damen says.

Laurent says, “Some of the time . . . most of the time, when you tell me stories about him, I can only think about how he hurt you.” 

Damen goes still. Laurent presses on: “I know he was your brother and I know how you love him. Anyone would know, listening to how you talk about him. And I know there’s no use in holding onto the wrong he did, but—”

“I think about that too,” Damen interrupts gently. “Nearly every time I think of him. Most of the time when I think about our father, too.” 

Laurent swallows, reassessing. “That’s why you tell me childhood stories of him,” he says. “To remember the good also.”

“I don’t want to forget that there was good,” Damen says. “And . . . I try to convince myself that I was not naive to believe that Kastor loved me. Maybe that’s foolish, but . . .” he shakes his head, voice grown small. 

Laurent wraps his arms around him, leans his head on Damen’s shoulder. He wants to say, ‘of course it’s not.’ But he’s no longer a person who can believe that, and he doesn’t know if Damen is anymore either. 

“I’m not going to let anyone hurt you like that ever again,” he says instead. 

“My Veretian snake,” Damen says, and pulls Laurent closer.

[newbornnebulae]

Truth is a loaded gun

The truth of the matter is, Dorian has grown to care for his friends. It's the only reason he makes the choice that he does.

A character study of Dorian in episode 5, because Robbie made some WILD decisions. Also on AO3

Dorian’s thinking of Dariax as he speaks to the disembodied voice that had visited his dear friend the previous evening already. As he bargains with it, his mouth moves faster than he can keep up. He’s bluffing, he thinks, when he says yes, yes he would trade the crown, an undeniable danger to the world in Poska’s hands, for his friend’s safety.

Maybe he doesn’t know himself as well as he should because when he searches inside for the lie that should be there, there’s only truth. He’s always considered himself a good man, reasonable, logical, moral… but he can feel the ring of honesty in his words; he would truly rather the whole of Emon burn down (again) than allow something to happen to his friend -friends, he corrects himself. 

It’s just that he can’t get the image of Dariax’s eyes gone jet black out of his head. The colour of his eyes are too lovely to be hidden in such an unsettling manner. The handsome dwarf doesn’t have enough self-preservation, or any for that matter. It’s all too easy for Dorian to imagine him falling prey to the crown and to the Spider Queen. Every time Dariax makes to reach for the crown with his bare hands, Dorian can feel his own chest constrict.

If Dariax were to turn into a darker form of himself, Dorian doesn’t believe he’ll have the strength to deal with it in the same way they’d dispatched of Alternate-Fearne. With the crown gone, there would be nothing of that nature to worry about. Dariax could continue to be his stupidly charming and pure self.

It’s beyond frustrating to Dorian that Orym had used Gilmore’s enchanted box just to send away a damned note. More than that, he’s upset with himself for insisting they hold onto the cursed crown in the first place.

Almost from a far away perch, he could see and hear himself snap at Orym unreasonably, time and time again. What makes it doubly worse is that Orym hardly ever responds in kind, doesn’t point fingers or place blame. It never makes Dorian feel better, only guiltier.

He knows it’s his own fault they are in this mess; the only reason Dariax is forced to continue carrying the crown is because Dorian had insisted they keep it. Dorian knows and the whole group must think it too. But all Orym does is quietly observe his outbursts. It’s annoying that Orym can remain so calm even as he confronts Dorian, while Dorian keeps having these hot flashes of anger he can hardly control.

Dorian finds himself to be more irritable as they traverse through the jungle, the heat and humidity of the place getting under his skin. Aside from his frustration with Orym, he eyes Fy’ra Rai with distrust, bristles at Opal’s prodding, and can’t help but grow annoyed at Fearne’s flute playing. It’s irritating when she plays poorly, the sound grating against his patience. It’s bothersome in it’s own way when she plays well, an uncomfortable jealousy prickling his skin.

The only person who hardly gets on his nerves is Dariax. 

Partly it’s from a sense of guilt. At Gilmore’s, Dariax had looked at him so earnestly. 

“If you want to keep it, we’ll keep it,” he’d said, unquestioningly supportive even when Dorian couldn’t give the group a good reason why. He’d seen how frightened Dariax had been after his dream with the Spider Queen. The dwarf had made an admirable attempt to act as though everything were fine, but it is plain to see that everything is not fine. 

There’s something so remarkably straightforward about Dariax, some would say simple-minded. As someone who doesn’t know the first thing about being straightforward, Dorian appreciates that about him.

Where Dariax is earnest and charming, Dorian is reserved most of the time and politely posh at his best. Dariax goes along with anything, easygoing and generous with his warmth. The only thing Dorian is generous about is imagining a generous amount of terrible scenarios that could happen. He can, at any given point in time, come up with more than twenty reasons why something is a bad idea. He’s rational in the worst of ways. 

As far as adventuring goes, Dariax has significantly more experience than him. The dwarf is never afraid to wander into the unknown. Dorian prefers to know where he’s going, how long it will take to get there, what dangers there might be, so on and so forth. It’s an effort for him to relax, something he’s had to learn how to do.

It was all learned, Dorian’s charm. Growing up, he hadn’t possessed an ounce of charisma. But he’d practiced until he could murmur polite platitudes in his sleep. He studied others, trying to figure out how people worked. He stood in front of his reflection, training himself to stand confidently, move naturally. Sheltered child that he had been, it had been important to have a certain image.

Slipping into Dorian Storm, a charming bard, was all the easier for it later on.

Unfortunately for him, the awkwardness still comes out sometimes. Dorian is still kicking himself for his display at Gilmore’s. Attractive men made it difficult for him to retain his composure or think straight. He’d gotten flustered again at the pageant, seeing Dariax in the clothes he himself wore everyday. 

He should consider himself lucky that he’d managed to remain cool in front of the group for so long. Next to Orym, he’s supposed to be the other reasonable one. Well, the group still likes him just fine and Dariax still looks at him with respect and admiration at the very least. 

While Dorian does his best not to read too much into the other man’s words -Dariax is the type to say things without thinking them through- he can’t help but think he’s Dariax’s favourite out of the whole group. Dariax looks to him for leadership, wakes him up after having a nightmare, sleeps back to back with Dorian out of everybody else.

It’s flattering, it’s nice, and it could be why Dariax is Dorian’s favourite.

It’s not the whole picture though. Dorian thinks on how he’d said to Poska all those weeks ago, “If Dariax doesn’t like you then I don’t like you.” Even back then Dariax had had his trust, as much as he’s able to give at least. Perhaps it has to do with the week of memories they’d collectively lost. Dorian doesn’t know how else he could have so much respect for a dwarf that he’s seen with shit in his beard. 

As much as Dariax seems to seek him out, Dorian gravitates toward Dariax in turn. It’s impossible for Dorian to be totally truthful about himself, but with Dariax, some foolish part of him wants to be. While the circus Dariax believes in does not exist, Dorian had not been completely dishonest about his situation. It’s the most he’s ever shared with someone. 

The thing is, Dorian has never had a best friend before, but if he had to guess, Dariax is the closest thing he has to one. Emon be damned, Dorian’s not ready to give that up anytime soon. 

[eri-baby]

chongyun crushing on a shy/dense noble fem!reader

a/n: this idea has been on my mind for a long time now, and i'm finally posting it! chongyun is probably very ooc, but listening to his character's voice-over's gave me the idea that he's just an earnest guy and i found that adorable.

i picture that chongyun first saw [ ] at a banquet where all the wealthy and influential were invited. she was quiet, reserved, rarely speaking to anyone. it was hard not to notice her when gossip about her was circulating all around the room. they called her a mist flower because she's "a cold person" and yet they appreciated her beauty. [ ] is expected to become one of the leaders of liyue in the future, maybe even one of the qixing, because of her family's influence and her being a well-educated young woman. chongyun ignored the rumors about her and respected her resolve to make liyue a better place.

from that day onward, chongyun wanted to know more about [ ]. they were similar, after all. chongyun and [ ] were both cold in the eyes of the public. he thought he would be able to get along well with her. he had nothing but respect for her.

whenever he had a comission, he asked clients or locals within the area about the noble [ ]. he discovered that [ ] often travels around liyue to personally watch over the state of each area. if anything were ever amiss, [ ] herself is the one who creates solutions and funds them. she shut down businesses that were swindeling people, found new jobs for the innocent workers involved, and earned back money for the victims. he found more admiration for her.

xingqui turns out to be somewhat childhood friends with [ ]. they spend time together every now and then. xingqui described her as a well-meaning girl who can never get her point across because of how awkward she is. she focuses more on the problem at hand and solving it rather than interacting with others which makes her come across as prickly.

chongyun was excited when he heard that [ ] had spoken about him. she asked xingqui about the young exorcist, and commented that exorcists like chongyun help maintain liyue's glory. it took him two months to stop centering all conversations around [ ]'s passing comment.

he has attempted to speak with her, even frequenting areas she was said to be seen in often, but the most he would get were glimpses of her before she scurried off or was escorted away by one of her chaperones. it disappointed him greatly that he never had the oppertunity to speak to her since he was so invested in her and her work.

i think he would barely realize his own feelings for a total stranger. xingqui and xiangling are sick of hearing about [ ]. they're scared of the day [ ] actually talks to chongyun. she's the only other thing on his mind other than training and exorcism.

he was disappointed and ready to give up on ever talking to [ ] after months of trying, until he was assigned to a comission in her estate. apparently weird things have been happening in her room. items have been misplaced, at night there were whispers coming from the closet, banging noises were coming from the walls. it caused her family great distress.

chongyun was, needless to say, stressed about making an appearance in [ ]'s household. how should he introduce himself? how should he speak to her? will he be able to speak to her? what should he bring? he bothered both xingqui and xiangling as he asked all these questions over and over again. xingqui was so annoyed that he finally relented, telling chongyun that lady [ ] is fond of the glaze lily flower. chongyun was gone before any of them could say another word.

the local florist in liyue harbor had not even a single glaze lily in stock. chongyun had to go all the way to a faraway town where a different florist was. he was lucky it was a colder day. with a boquet of glaze lillies in hand, he was ready to travel back to lady [ ]'s estate. on the way back, he passed by a little girl who was in tears. the little girl had dirt stains on her clothes but no injuries. she begged him to save a girl who had gotten trapped in a cave. the little girl was looking for her doll and she asked the girl, who's physical description matched [ ]'s, to enter the cave with her. the girl relented but inside they were attacked by a ruin hunter. the girl managed to get the young child out of the cave before rubble fell over the other entrance. it had been a long time but the girl still hasn't turned up.

chongyun immediatly dropped the glaze lillies in his hand and rushed to the direction the little girl pointed in. the cave had two openings, one of which had been blocked by rubble. chongyun went through the second one. he found at the other end lady [ ] fighting off a ruin hunter with her bow. chongyun finished it off for her.

he immediatly dropped down beside her and asked her if she was okay politely. she had no idea what to say, in fact she wasn't even expecting any help, and nodded quietly. he noticed that her ankle was swolen so he used his cryo vision to ease her pain. he quickly helped her up, even carrying her despite his fear of triggering his congenital positivity. he was lucky that the weather was cold and so was the cave, and that [ ]'s body temperature was also cold because of her vision.

"I am Chongyun, from an exorcist family. I was heading to your home, Lady [ ], to deal with the evil spirit in your room, until the little girl you had rescued stopped me and asked me to help you."

"I... see. We'll have to double your payment for saving me, Exorcist Chongyun."

"Oh, no! My services are free of charge!"

she became quiet and smiled to herself. he could hear her quiet giggles, making his cheeks heat up slightly. he worried about his congenital positivity.

both of them were somewhat awkward and dense. the truth was that they were both panicking. chongyun had no idea what to say and neither did [ ].

chongyun was the first to speak after a few minutes of awkward silence

"I'm sorry I don't know what to say to you."

"I have no idea what to say as well."

they both laughed together about being dense in social situations. from then on, conversation flowed somehow a little easier because they found that they had something in common. the more they spoke to each other, the more similarities they found.

it turns out that her reputation of being a cold person was a result of her being misunderstood. [ ] doesn't know how to say things other than straightforwardly, and when she panics she has a tendency to freeze up making her tense in conversations.

chongyun as well had a one-track mind. everything he did was to become a better exorcist, which made him terrible at conversations especially outside of the exorcism business.

she spoke about the responsibilities of supporting the nation of liyue and her dream of traveling every inch of their lands and waters because she wanted to be one of the pillars of liyue in the future. it was her dream to become a qixing, like ningguang, to support liyue's growth.

he shared his dream of becoming the greatest exorcist. he wanted to find an evil spirit or demon that wouldn't avoid his congenital positivity, and to be able to control his congenital positivity. his dream was to rid the world of all evil spirits as the greatest exorcist in all of history.

they each shared the hardships of reaching their dreams and their desires to reach their goals. it was everything and more than he imagined talking to her. he had always wanted this oppertunity to speak to someone similar to him.

they reached the outside of the cave only to be met with servants from [ ]'s estate. she was taken away from him and rushed back to her home while he was thanked for saving her. apparently there was no evil spirit in their estate, at least not a real spirit. they were abyss mages planning something terrible again and [ ] was the victim. her family sent servants to pick her up from this town, only for them to hear from the little girl about what had happened. chongyun was greatly compensated for his help. he didn't even get the chance to say goodbye to [ ].

weeks had passed without chongyun seeing nor speaking to [ ]. he sent her a "get well soon" present but received no response. each passing day made him more and more depressed, which xingqui was not used to. xingqui told him that [ ]'s family was probably trying to keep her away from the public and were being overprotective but it didn't make anything better.

aether came in with paimon and a package in hand. he had somewhat a smug smile on his face, having some awareness of chongyun's crush on [ ]. he said that he had been comissioned by lady [ ] to deliver the package to chongyun directly. without allowing aether to finish his sentence, chongyun took the package from the blond's hands and carefully opened it.

inside it he found a letter and a jade insignia. the jade had an intricate glaze lily symbol carved on it with other symbols chongyun could not recognize. he brought out the letter and read it.

Exorcist Chongyun,

I apologize for not sending you a thank you note earlier nor seeing you at all these past few weeks. I haven't found a perfect oppertunity to escape from my family until now. My leg is fully healed, and I can even run. Please be assured that your present and the glaze lillies you had intended to give me have reached me. The little girl I was helping gave them to me and said they were from you. Thank you for such thoughtful presents.

I am aware that you don't accept payments, so instead I have sent you this as a gift. It's an insignia that identifies colleagues of mine and allows them to enter into one of my private and personal cottage. Rest assured, there will be plenty of cold sweets for you waiting there and the cottage itself is kept cold.

Please see me at Guyun Stone Forest. The insignia will lead you to me.

From [ ].

he barely finished that letter and he was already out. as the letter stated, the insignia did lead him to the secret cottage. on one of the mountains, there was a contraption made of stone that he would place the insignia in and then a stairway would appear. it led him up to a snowy floating island with a cozy cottage.

[ ] was sitting on a swing supported by a tree and waved to catch his attention.

"Greetings, Exorcist Chongyun."

"Hey, Lady [ ]."

[whimlen]

Books I read in January and February 2022

A Man Called Ove, Fredrik Backman

A lovely book about grief, found family, and finding a way to live again after a loved one is gone. I found myself laughing and crying many times, and probably looked like a crazy person when I was doing both at once. This book is a new favourite of mine, absolutely heartwarming, whilst at the same time dealing with heavy themes.

Crossing, Pajtim Statovci

As an Albanian person, I had never read a book about Albanians or being Albanian before, and finding this book by chance in my library was such a delight. As I read the synopsis in the library, and found that the main characters were queer and trans (like me!) it genuinely made me teary eyed, never mind when I actually begun to read it. (Is this what people meant when they said representation matters. damn.) This was a complex and fascinating story about friendship, love, identity, self hatred and nationality. It was beautifully written and it means a lot to me in a way I can’t convey. I know this story is going to stick with me for a long time.

The Eye of the World, Robert Jordan

I really wanted to get into classic/high fantasy this year so here I am! I absolutely loved Robert Jordan’s world building, you can just tell how much detail and thought and thousands of years worth of history he put into this world. Although I do enjoy Jordan’s attention to detail, I did find this book a bit slow and convoluted at times. I think it would’ve benefited from being edited down a bit shorter. Nonetheless, I am excited to continue on with this series.

The Most Beautiful Stories, Beatrix Potter

A really sweet compilation of Beatrix Potter’s stories. I never read her books as a kid but still found it an enjoyable experience, the illustrations were my favourite part. I was a little bit :O at some of the very -in the times- lessons and punishments these little child animals received lol. (Makes very much sense considering these stories are from the early 1900s)

Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI, David Grann

If I would recommend you to read any book on this list it would be this one. I think EVERYONE should read this book and be aware of this story. This book is narrative non-fiction and follows the Osage Indian Nation in the 1920s, when they were the richest people per capita in the world due to an oil deposit discovered on their land. Then people in the community begin to be murdered, and when the numbers rose to over 25+ murders, the newly established organization the FBI gets involved. This book was very chilling and really outlined the worst horrors humanity is capable of, especially when done by people you considered to trust and love.

Edenbrooke, Julianne Donaldson

A really sweet historical romance set in 1815 England. It had my heart so full and was so enticing throughout I couldn’t put it down. It reads like Jane Austen but written in a way that’s more modern and accessible.

The Battle of the Labryinth, Rick Riordan

I’m going through my first reread of Percy Jackson, which I hadn’t touched since I was 9-11, and all I can say is wow ! Rick Riordan still has me in his clutches, even 10-ish years later, it still holds up. I think this book is my favourite in the series so far, but I still have the Last Olympian to go- excited !!!

The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde

I listened to this on audiobook in a single day when I went glassblowing. It was clever and witty and the exact thing I needed that day! (It’s available on Spotify if anyone is interested!) The Picture of Dorian Gray is one of my favourite classics, and although this was very different and not a new all time favourite - Oscar Wilde did not disappoint!

Heart of the Fae, Emma Hamm

An enjoyable read, but probably my least favourite of the year so far (I’ve been pretty lucky with some bangers listed above^) I really enjoyed the Irish mythology component of this book, and I really loved the main character Sorcha. Since this was a Beauty and the Beast retelling, I was disappointed to find that I wasn’t really feeling any chemistry between the two main love interests. I found that the pacing of their relationship, and the entire latter half of the book was a bit off for me.

If you read all this hello ^—^ here is a special gift for you: ❀

[astronomiaa]

mayu:)

THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT. This has been sitting in my inbox for like a month or so by now because I kept forgetting 😭

favorite thing about them

It’s a little difficult for me to think of something in particular about Mayu, since I don’t know her character all that well in comparison to everyone else. Due to the nature of being killed off first in the main games, she doesn’t get much screen time aside from BoS (which I don’t entirely remember and haven’t gotten the opportunity to play it myself).

I guess I would have to say my favorite thing about her in particular is that she’s genuinely very earnest and dedicated to her craft - just like Morishige, which is what makes them such good friends. She’s a HUGE drama kid, and one of her most memorable moments is in the Hysteric Birthday manga when she and Morishige are set loose on everyone else lol.

least favorite thing about them

Admittedly, Mayu is not the smartest when it comes to dangerous situations and some of the choices she makes can be incredibly frustrating.

For example in BoS: All teenagers are subconscious to some degree, especially girls, but Mayu being worried about her looks to the extent that she runs away from her friends when she already had suspicions about the true nature of the bruises was top-tier horror movie tropes level of dumb. After her bad feeling being proven correct with Nana’s death, she should’ve confided in her friends (especially Ayumi who has prior knowledge of the occult) who might’ve been able to prevent or at least stave off her repeat death.

That might be me being a little harsh, but even Seiko (a big sister to like.. four kids, and a sympathetic soul) knows not to go fooling around with Ghost Children.

favorite line

Sorry, but there’s nothing from her dialogue that particularly stands out to me! I also can’t really remember much of her dialogue.

brOTP

She and Ayumi are stated to be really close friends since they had similar interests in fortune telling and charms, and I think it really shows with how Ayumi takes her death probably the hardest. I wish we got more time to see them actually interact, instead of most of their character’s being focused on their potential romantic relationships.

OTP

I don’t really ship her with anyone in particular, but I guess mayushig since they’re pretty much canon anyway (though I slightly wish they didn't go from “they’re like brother and sister!” in blood covered to “they actually liked each other this entire time” later on). Had they lived, they probably would’ve taken the world by storm and become famous with their theatre skills lol.

random headcanon

In the first game when Ayumi and Yoshiki find her in the infirmary playing with the ghost children, I don’t think she was telling the truth when she said she wanted to stay behind because she felt bad for the kids - and I think those kids probably knew it too but empathized with her situation. Truthfully, she just didn’t want to face the full reality of having to move to a new place, where she has to start over.

unpopular opinion

I don’t think I have any opinion of her that might be especially unpopular? I just think she’s Neat.

song I associate with them

through the eyes of a child

favorite picture of them

Mayu: Break a literal leg acting Mochida <3