#i can feel that the description of my blog is going to be more accurate for a bit.

[paxcallow]

you have a new son agent zanotto. its okay he does this to everyone.

[biblically-accurate-dca]

i'm doing DCA/FNaF themed fundraiser commissions!

hello everyone! i'm writing this post to promote Ahmed Hammad's campaign! (vetted here!!)

i would recommend reading the post he's written on his situation as it will give more detail and information than i will be able to... but i've been in contact with him for a while which is why i'm making this post now!

if you DM me with proof of a donation of at least $20 i will sketch you anything you want!

if you're interested please read my rules and price list under the cut!

and please reblog this post if you're unable to donate! thank you!!

PRICE LIST

they will only be sketches as that is all i'm currently able to manage. no lineart, no backgrounds.

for $20 it'll be limited to bust shots & half body sketches ONLY.

for $40 or higher i will do full body sketches OR colored half body sketches (flat colors only)

for $60 or higher i will do full body sketches with color (flat colors only)

for $80 i'll do basic shading for any kind of sketch!!

for $100 and higher i can doodle you an extra bust shot/half body sketch with your request but that's all i'm able to offer at that point.

RULES

no NSFW requests. this means both sex and heavy gore.

no hate speech.

i will do ships as long as they are not incestuous or pedophilic.

i will do self inserts.

i will do DCA OCs.

i will do other fnaf characters if you don't want anything DCA related.

i have a limit of 3 characters per drawing !!

if you're requesting a custom design you NEED to send me a reference image or a detailed description of their apperance first. i will NOT go searching through your blog to find a reference.

please specify if you'd like me to draw the DCA in a specific way (e.g. biblically accurate or stylized) otherwise i will default to biblically accurate.

if you have any additional questions or are unsure about anything feel free to ask.

i have the right to decline any request if i feel i am unable to do it.

[o-sachi]

─── Sachi's Selfship Event ✦

Heya, here's my event for my 500 followers milestone. It's been fun writing my silly thoughts and sharing it on this blog. Thanks for all the support y'all have given me. But, as I've mentioned in my last post, I'll start writing on a different blog.

eermmm... update?

✦ The Event ───

Basically, you tell me about your selfship and I give you a set of headcanons based on the SFW alphabet (see content under the cut for the alphabet). For moots and followers that I recognize, I’ll do 10 letters. For everyone else, 8 letters. And for anons, 6 letters.

For fandoms, please keep it within Blue Lock, Wind Breaker, Mashle, and Kaiju no. 8!

✦ Instructions ───

Send me an ask containing the following: your chosen character, your chosen letters, your likes & dislikes, love languages (receiving and giving), hobbies, interests, basic description of your appearance, picrews, random facts, some of your own lore about your selfship, etc. —literally everything that can help me write a more accurate set of headcanons

* Since some people might not be comfortable sharing their info, I’ll keep the asks in my inbox and tag you on your post instead. But if you’re on anon, I have no choice but to answer the ask.

✦ Rules ───

1. Do not rush me with your request. If you’ve sent me an ask, I’ve definitely read it.

2. Only one selfship per person!

3. Do not include any nsfw information in the ask that you will send me.

Note: Depending on the amount of asks I get, I might not be able to fulfill all of them. Of course, moots and followers take priority!

Fulfilled Letters !

✉️: Letter for Lumi ✉️: Letter for Candy ✉️: Letter for Amy ✉️: Letter for Rye

✉️: Letter for Maru ✉️: Letter for Chiya ✉️: Letter for Miro✉️: Letter for Jei

✉️: Letter for Mari ✉️: Letter for Luvlyycy

Check under the cut for the letters you can choose from ~

These are just general descriptions for each letter, but based on the info you'll give me, I can delve into it deeper and provide stuff beyond what is written here.

A - Affection How do they show their affection for you? Do they get bouts of cuteness aggression?

B - Best Quality What they think is/are your best quality/ies and why

C - Comfort How do they comfort you when you're sad and down?

D - Dates What kind of dates do you two like to go on? How frequent?

E - Early Relationship How did you two get together? What was it like when you were just first starting out?

F - Fights What do you usually fight over? Do you quarrel often? How do things get resolved? Who says sorry first?

G - Gifts Their favorite gift that they got from you or a gift they've given to you. Do they like receiving gifts? If so, what kinds?

H - Hugs Are they a hugger? What kinds of hugs do they prefer? What about cuddling?

I - Intimacy What makes you feel connected at a deeper level? What kind of romance do you have?

J - Jealousy How jealous are they? How do they deal with it?

K - Kisses How do they kiss you? Do they like kissing?

L - Laughter What are your inside jokes? What do you usually laugh about together? Who's funnier?

M - Memories What is your most cherished memory together?

N - Nicknames Do they like nicknames? If so, what do they like to be called or what do they call you?

O - Other People What do other people think about your relationship? (Family, friends, co-workers, etc.)

P - Patience How patient are they? Who's the more patient one between the two of you? What happens if they lose their patience?

Q - Quirks What are some quirks you adopted from each other? Or what are the quirks that only come out when you're together?

R - Rituals What are some things in your routines that you like to do together? Is it common or unusual? How frequent is it? Is it a daily, weekly, or annual thing?

S - Support How do they show their support for your hobbies and interests? How involved are they?

T - Time Apart How do you spend your time apart? Who caves first? Who handles it better?

U - Uniqueness What sets you apart from other couples?

V - Values What are your shared values?

W - Wildcard Random headcanon about your relationship

X - XOXO What are the little things that they do for you? Do you notice them or maybe they go unnoticed?

Y - Yin & Yang How do you complement each other? How do you make them a better person? Or how do you make them happier? Are you two opposites or are you more similar to each other?

Z - Zrandom (sorry ran out of ideas, forgive me) Pick a theme or any topic and I'll make a headcanon for it :)

Again, for moots and followers that I recognize, I’ll do 10 letters. For everyone else, 8 letters. And for anons, 6 letters.

[hummingbee-lievable]

Song of the Day #24:

'Mile Magnificent' by Molly OfGeography (released 2019).

An apartment when it's empty echoes lovely, bright and clean

Sing odes to green-blue water that we stole so it comes free

All things end, it's part of living; forest fires feed the trees

Lift your glasses full of sunshine, sing a toast to gasoline

Track #4 on 'Myths'.

Fun fact: Molly refers to this song as 'The Song My Producer Said I Was Not Allowed To Name “CHICAGO IS BETTER THAN NEW YORK”'.* Honestly, her descriptions for so of the songs on this album are hilarious:

'1) The Song That Made My Producer Go, “Wait, What Was That Bit About Worms?”

2) The Song My Producer Said I Had To Append A Parenthetical To So That People Would Be Able To Find It Because The Lyrics Never Mention The Title Once But I Was Raised On Fanfiction So Joke’s On You, Pal! I Love A Long Title With A Parenthetical In It!!!

3) The Song That Is Sad'

Pretty dang accurate, honestly. Also, I think she has a Tumblr!!! *Gasp.* What if I...tag her???

@ofgeography Hiiii and thank you, your music is amazing.

I did it bees and knees (yes, this is my hip modern way of including every kind of person, fight me or provide more hilarious options; I'm content with either option).

I have had a fun time perusing this flavourful dose of humanity's wild website and I think my fun fact today should be her story where she becomes a donut god:

You're welcome, singular entity that reads this blog (that entity being my sister and/or the rogue bots, doesn't matter, we're all friends here).

Personal blurb: Alright, full disclosure time: I discovered this artist because of the 'Good Omens' fandom. Someone said we were missing out on feelings and shared this song, and when I tell you I felt those feelings, I certainly don't mean that I danced to this on repeat for several months (and her 'Hanahaki (Bloom)'), often at 3 in the morning in the bathroom. Of course not.

Pro tip: dancing with your toothbrush in your mouth is a choking hazard, but in the spirit of Alanis Morissette, I recommend doing it anyway:

One of my favourite books in the world is 'The Overstory' by Richard Powers. In it, one of the themes that arises often is the concept of pyrophitic serotinous plants (it's okay, I won't remember it either). They are plants that need fire to open. (There are actually different types of pyrophitic plants, from passive to fire-activated but I probably shouldn't start talking about that because you'll need to pull out the duct tape.)

(Technically, 'serotinous' plants are a category in which plants release seeds over a longer period of time, and it doesn't matter how they are released, but the seeds that open by fire fit into this category.) The eucalyptus tree, the lodgehole pine, and other trees encase their seeds in resin that can only be melted by fire (thereby releasing the seeds).

The thing that I love about this concept is this: we need to burn to grow. I recently read this book called 'Life in Oil' about the Cofàn tribe in Ecuador who were drastically impacted by oil companies. And the thing was: Yes. They were impacted horribly (physically, psychologically, environmentally, the works). They also survived. They figured out, through tumult and trial and falling apart, how to keep going.

This song screams to me of that same instinct. I mean, look at us. This is what we do, isn't it? We fight, we fall, we continue. We're just like every other aspect of nature in that we are born, and in our fight to continue, we impact everything around us. We're just a part of the cycle and eventually we will decay back to where we belong and serve as soil for our children. And all we'll be? A story. And after a while, not even that. Just a whisper of what was.

In a way? I find that freeing. We might as well live the life we want to live; how little it will matter. (This isn't absolution, please don't go murdering people.) I just mean that I don't have to put so much weight into every little thing. Not everything has to be joyful or depressing (and if we really think about it, everything is always a balance of both). It can just be what it is.

We are as we are. And we don't have to love ourselves for it, but we don't have to hate ourselves either.

I love the lyrics to this song. For a long time, I misheard 'We're animals of love/ the city never makes us beg' as 'the city never makes us pay' and I don't know why? But I kind of like that image.

We are animals of love. And that's okay.

We are the cogs in a continuous cycle and we always will be.

I think often of this monologue (content warning for the video, it's gory, but you don't need to watch it, you can just listen) from 'Midnight Mass' so often, in regards to this:

We just are. Everything just is.

[euniexenoblade]

I'm transmasc and I don't think I completely understand the discussion around TMA/TME.

I'm pretty sure I mostly agree with you. Like, "transandrophobia" is not a helpful or accurate description of the transmasc experience, and I can see how it could be used to belittle what transfems go through.

Transfems definitely get more attention from hate groups. Transmasc erasure sucks, but it can definitely be a blessing when the bigots are picking their targets.

I keep seeing posts comparing trans men to incels and MRAs. I haven't seen many transmascs who would warrant that comparison.

That's not to say it's necessarily an unfair comparison. On the contrary, it probably means that there's a lot of transmisogyny going around that I'm not seeing. And if I'm not seeing it, that probably means I'm inadvertently participating in it.

IDK why I felt the need to send this to you. I guess I was hoping you'd tell me how to do better, which totally isn't your job. Feel free to ignore me and/or tell me to fuck off.

I'll send you $20 for tolerating my bullshit. Have a nice day.

Ok I wanna answer this before I get too high (I'm honestly feeling it already). Thank you for the $20, when I realized I forgot to pack a lunch today that money helped me eat still so legit thank you.

So first off, "trans women get more attention from hate groups, transmasc erasure sucks but can be a blessing." (I can't copy and paste on this screen, so I'm paraphrasing) yes but I wouldn't call erasure a blessing, no matter who it's for. They're two sides of a very fucked coin, on the one side transfems get lots of attention and vitriol, and the erasure of transmascs makes it harder for some transmascs to understand they can be trans. But on top of that, the form of transfems we see are never real representation, 99% of the time it's a transmisogynistic ideal of trans women, it's the weirdo white boy spreading lipstick all over their face just before they smash the mirror in a fit of "dysphoria" kind of shit. Though transfems have extreme visibility, our actual selves are not visible, we are ultra violet rapist horn dogs or we're the super ignorant, super emotional crybaby.

And, a side tangent, cuz you sorta did a thing the transandrodorks do that is frustrating. It's not a measurement of what's "worse." That's not how oppression works, that's not what we are saying, we are talking about the forms of oppression.

Men are not oppressed for being men. They can be oppressed for a variety of things, racism, ableism, interphobia (is this the right term I forget), homophobia, etc etc. Masculinity is rewarded, masculinity is the desire, patriarchy exists so men get to be above women. Things like "misandry" do not exist, they are inventions of violently misogynistic men, your MRAs, your incels, your conservatives (this includes liberals btw).

The person who coined "transandrophobia" used to talk about wanting to correctively rape lesbians. I'm not gonna go at someone's kinks, but the blog was not presented as a kink blog, I literally went there myself and read the posts when this first popped off and they come off as true lesbophobia in the context of their blog and coupled with the misandry posting, this person literally looks like MRAs and incels. The defense the community uses is "it's a kink are you kink shaming?? It was on a private locked blog!" Which, the latter, no it wasn't, I literally went there and looked, and the former. Idk I think if you're saying you want correctively rape lesbians while also talking about misandry and counting "transandrophobia," you look misogynistic and homophobic.

The main writers people follow for transandrophobia related content are straight up liars, who make shit up, and one specific non horse entity consistently cites himself as his own "source" and when he doesn't, he cites terf blogs that are connected to kiwifarms and sites of the sort. They will take bits talked about in feminism and present it as a thing they discovered and present it as transandrophobia. Ie. "Men can't show any femininity and can't cry and that's misandry" despite things like this are discussed at length in feminist texts, men can't do these things cuz that makes them more "woman" in the societal lens. Yeah it's fucked, but it's misogyny, not misandry.

I am, consistently, misgendered by the transandrodorks, and so is every other trans woman that disagrees with them. And it's definitely intentional.

Then there are token trans women who don't know much of anything about feminism or transphobia and will straight up harass you for saying women are oppressed. They often weaponize transmisogyny against other transfems, they misgender, suicide bait, or in velvetvexations case, will stalk your blog for two days even though you ignore her and when she's sees you're on a date with your wife, she goes to your wife's blog and starts messaging her instead. Legit, this woman is one of the worst people on this website, the only reason she's not seen as communismkills 2 is cuz men like her.

On top of this, terfs consistently support "transandrophobia" as a concept and constantly say that transandrophobia is compatible with terf ideology. The transandrodork community is ripe with terfs and crypto terfs. Like that one who said he hoped a friend and I get raped, cuz saying "men arent oppressed" warrants wishing rape on people. Or the trans guy that outright said "trans women are male" and tripled down harder saying "trans women don't experience misogyny and oppress transmascs cuz they're really men," claims that were so wild that even velvetvexations couldn't agree with them lol.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: not every person that believes in transandrophobia is a bigot or a bad person. A lot are just young transmascs who are under read about oppression and history, and this terf/transphobe community swoops in and pretends to be representing them and sucks them in. For every disparaging transmisogynist piece, there's two more that are talking about the problems of transmascs. So when you tell these guys "that's a hate group" they don't remember the post calling trans women men, they remember stuff about T being super illegal. So they think we are attacking them for having a problem, not the actual bigotry on display.

Honestly, if these people would just stop misgendering trans women, they might have more trans women who'd be nice to em. But that's the consistent trend.

Transandrophobia is a violent, transmisogynistic ideology that is propped up by terf ideology. That's why they are compared to MRAs and incels.

[kkotda]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KKOTDA (DEAR-KOI) ˖°𓇼

for a month with so little notable (national - us) holidays, august sure is a busy month for dear-koi (both this blog and i have our birthdays in august!). to celebrate, i am planning on opening rolling slots for art requests! it'll be on a first come first served basis. i will close requests on september 1, 2024 (no more requests will be accepted when september starts)

what this means:

all of my followers, mutuals or not, are eligible to participate! please no requests sent with anonymous! they will not be honored! (i don't plan on publically posting requests unless given explicit permission! so please allow images in your ask box or dms open!)

please continue reading to learn how to participate and other important rules!

how to participate:

in an ask (or dm if we're mutuals), tell me what you'd like! character only art and selfship are the ones i'm most comfortable doing, but i'm willing to hear out other requests (oc's for example). maximum of 7 requests (characters) per person are allowed! note: you will not need to provide me with any sort of monetary compensation in order to participate! i will not accept any monetary compensation! (i don't have the means to do so). this is supposed to be all in good fun, to practice and develop a style i think suits me! so taking money for making your request a guinea pig would make me feel all types of guilty (if you really feel the need, tell me your favorite song(s)! i'm always open to new music! better yet, donate to a palestinian family!) for selfship art requests, please also include a picrew from which i can color pick (i.e. the more accurate the picrew's colors are, the more personable it can be!) and reference poses. if the picrew is not accurate, please feel free to provide preferred hex codes or color 'swatches'! vague descriptions like dark brown aren't very helpful and might make the situation uncomfortable (though i will of course honor any changes that are needed!). i will honor character requests from any media even if i am not a part of said fandom group! (i will ask for no idol/celebrity requests though because i am uncomfortable with that, sorry in advance for any inconvenience!) for oc art, please provide as many details, references, picrews as possible. i absolutely do not want to mess something as precious and valuable as an oc up. i will try my very best to fulfill your request to fit the image you had in mind! tl;dr: give me so much information i have to spend days reading (also i forgot to say this but if you'd like a background that isn't white, you're more than welcome to change the color! transparent is also an option!)

ok to draw:

people (characters, etc), small animals (like pets), sfw (suggestive is also okay with enough reference pictures!), chibi

not ok to draw:

nsfw (i'm not that good yet, i'm sorry T-T), gore/horror, overly complicated things (i'll let you know if it gets too complicated)—basically just ask, and i will tell you!

please keep in mind:

i am slowly getting back into drawing (but i was never good in the first place tbh...) so i'm still very much learning! my art style currently is still a lot of mimicking (i do not use fanart as references, please don't misunderstand!!!), and as such i will ask you all to keep your expectations very very low T-T like rock bottom low...

default art will have a white background! i can and will color if colors are provided! (but there won't be any crazy good rendering, i'm sorry ;-;)

the purpose of this event is me practicing and learning art, but it's also me giving back to my beautiful friends who make the world go round! thank you so much for trusting me with your request(s) and i will do my utmost to make it come to life! if you'd like a 'portfolio' of sorts, please search the lovekoi tag! it is my art tag that i'm using and all of my stuff will be there (there's not a whole bunch though unfortunately >.<)

if you have any questions, please ask! i feel like i've left out a lot of things...

and finally, some parting words:

dear-koi has come a really long way i think. i moved here on a whim and essentially lost all of my previous mutuals (i should've just shared the url... </3) but you all found me again! and new people found me too! i'm so honored to have been worthy of the follow to following transition, you guys will not believe the squeals every time people i've looked up to like big time became mutuals with me... it's still crazy to me actually... but that aside, thank you for spending my birthday and dear-koi's 1st anniversary with me! here's to many more!

i love you all, please remember to smile today ᰔᩚ

[kikyan]

Yandere Scarabia Headcanons

TW/CW: Dark content up ahead!! Yandere specifically!! Themes will include yandere, possessiveness, violence towards reader, manipulation, mentions of stalking, and obsession! Proceed with caution!!

DISCLAIMER: These are my interpretations of his/her/their persona and none of these is 100% accurate. I don't condone any of these actions in real life and all of this is purely fictional and should be taken as such! Underage characters will ONLY  be given SFW headcanons, please respect this decision!

Banner made by @herestrish​ pls don’t steal!! Also huge thanks to my friend, Verizhe, for helping me with these headcanons and tbh for proofreading my other stuff they’re such a huge help! 

Kalim Al-Asim 

Luckily, I’m updating more and more so this blog doesn’t die. Okiedoki, time for Kalim headcanons! Kalim was always a character I liked and hated. Like I loved his bubbly personality but at the same time I just knew his over-positive and enthusiastic personality was going to be annoying to some. His personality is also the same when it comes to you and your relationship. That aside, his traits would be over-protective, clingy, possessive, and manipulative. 

To keep it really simple, all these traits revolve around one thing and one thing only, his bubbly personality. He’s easy to befriend as he’s actively there to educate you on his culture and their customs, always there to lend a helping hand and just overall keep the party going. Those puppy dog eyes that you just can’t say no to them. To say the least, he’s very clingy. His S/O is someone who he can get along with, which is almost everyone. Someone he can get behind and support their ideals and morals. Someone ‘good’, it’s a very bland description but it’s one that makes sense. He’s clingy because he loves to be around you! If he sees you around the hallway, expect him to forget everything just to run up and greet you. Sometimes even ditching his previous task just to help you with yours or just spend time. When having lunch, expect to see Kalim offering you a spot at his table or inviting himself to yours. If you happen to fail a subject that Kalim excels in, he’ll happily offer to tutor you! Same with if you both fail a subject, it’s okay because Jamil can tutor both of you! I often describe overly clingy people like gum stuck at the bottom of your shoe but it’s different with Kalim because you want to get rid of the gum. With Kalim, you just can’t bring yourself to turn him down. Bringing us to my next point! 

Manipulative. By no means do I want to infantilize Kalim because he’s 17. He knows what he’s doing. Using his bubbly personality, how could you ever turn him down? He’s a great housewarden! Kind, reliable, jump head-on in front of danger to protect you, etc. You get the picture, which is why Kalim would use his reputation to get you to be with him. It starts off small, inviting you out to dinner, a study session, etc. His puppy dog eyes and his please make it so hard to turn him down you feel like you HAVE to say yes. At first, it’s small and something you can easily get out of when needed. “Sorry, I have a club!” or “Sorry, I promised Grim I would help him study with the gang.” At first yeah, but at some point, Kalim started to fight back. “It’s okay, [Reader]. Maybe next time you won’t be so busy!” and “You’re always busy, I’m sorry to bother you.” It doesn’t sound too harmful, right? It’s not, but he says it in front of people. Rumors spread and murmurs get to you, “Rejecting Kalim again?” and “Poor Kalim, he must have spent all day planning this…”. It’s not just your attention he craves, he craves your attention and praise. He’ll buy you expensive jewelry and trinkets. At first, you accept because a small gift for helping him study isn’t too spontaneous. Then the gifts keep coming and their value keeps multiplying. Rejecting them doesn’t work because then Kalim gets sad. “Oh, you wanted something better? Why didn’t you say so! I’ll find something double, no triple its value! Of course, you’d never want something so basic!” He says it in such a cheerful tone that to everyone it’s just playful Kalim but that doesn’t stop the stares and glares you get from the other dorm members. They call you an ungrateful bitch and how you’re using Kalim. They may even intervene and tell Kalim that you’re just using him, but he’ll defend you to the end. 

“Can you believe it, [Reader]? Someone said you were using me for my gifts but that’s not true!” Quite frankly, in this case, you’d be painted as the villain. He’s very overprotective and possessive of you. After all, you’re his lovely S/O! He loves to spoil you and spend time with you, even if you want to or not. He of course loves you and wants you to have friends so I don’t think he’d isolate you, but he does want them to know you belong to him. What better way than marriage?! Don’t be surprised when Kalim asks for your hand in marriage, of course, it’ll wait till after graduation but regardless! He may enlist the help of Jamil, who has no other choice but to help him. Despite being against it, he goes with it. Thinking you could confide in him, he convinces you to go along. You have no magic and no understanding of how this world works. What if you can’t find a way back home? If that's the case, why not stay with Kalim? Not only do you get his name but untold riches! Way better than your life back home, no? Not to mention, you’re powerless here. Kalim and his family name can grant you protection. I doubt Crowley would let you live here at the dorms past your life here at NRC. Being with Kalim is like a dream come true! You’d be wise to accept. Jamil always did look at things on the more logical side, a solution that benefits both parties. Kalim gets you and you get his protection. You can expect him to stand up for you when things get rough. If anyone chooses to pick on you, he’s right there to defend you. 

On a scale, he’s a 5/10. I don’t think he’d harm you physically or do anything against you, but he’s such a manipulator. His words are soft and lovely. You melt like butter when he tells you how much he loves you, how much you mean to him. It’s true, under his love you’ll be protected and his love is so sugary sweet. Just like sugar, too much is bad for you and overbearing, his love is suffocating. You’ll live a lavish life at the cost of your privacy and your attention. Keep your eyes on him, yeah? 

Jamil Viper 

Alright, let’s get into this man’s life. Jamil. Dear lord, his traits are overprotective, possessive, manipulative, and obsessive. How did I reach that conclusion? Well, let’s dive into Jamil’s life. Honestly, he never interested me as much until we got to book 4, I genuinely believed him for a second with the whole Kalim situation but then I realized, shit. He got me. Jamil is a character to whom I want to introduce a new scale, one that I thought of using for a while but I guess never got to use it. Revealing that at the end! 

Okay so, I want to start off with a trait and then get my point across smoothly. So, starting off strong, Jamil is possessive. His possessiveness stems from his fear of losing you to someone better than him, like Kalim. In book 4 we’re introduced to Kalim’s and Jamil’s relationship. One of a master and a servant, as much as Kalim doesn’t treat Jamil like that, it doesn’t change the fact that that's how it is. Jamil was born into a servant family and Kalim into their masters. He has had to be their food tester, has had to prepare the food to avoid someone poising it, shit he probably has taken a bullet for him at some point. If not now, maybe in the future but that’s the way it is. He’s there to serve, granted he can also live a life of his own, but it’s not really living if he has to hold back to let Kalim live more comfortably. Jamil wants to show his abilities, he wants time in the spotlight that he has to, unfortunately, give up to Kalim. This is why I see him as possessive, his S/O is HIS. Just his, a little indulgence if you will. His little secret. Kalim can have any and everything, just not you. If Kalim ever were to take an interest in you, god forbid, Jamil would be quick to guide Kalim away. 

“No, you don’t want them! Your family is very high up, they won’t settle for [Reader]. It’s better to pick someone better, trust me Kalim.” Maybe even slander you? “[Reader] can’t cook, besides they’re an outsider. Your parents would never approve of someone so useless and mysterious.” He’d even try to get him into an arranged marriage so that he can’t get to you. Yeah, he’s that possessive. Which ties in with his obsession. However, you manage to catch his eye, he’s hooked. He is constantly observing you, gathering what information he can on you, and seeing what you like and dislike. He’s not stalking you as you may think, but the information he gathers on you is scary. If anything, it’s to be a better partner. He knows what you enjoy so you can talk about your hobbies and interests, he knows what meals you like so expect him to make them often. He knows what makes you tick, and how to get under your skin but he also knows what you support and seek in someone. He knows things about you that you’ve never revealed and he claims you’ve said before and just forgot. 

Manipulative. He can and will gaslight you. Try his hardest to make you see his side of the story. He’s not above using his ability to make you listen to him. He rather uses it as a last resort, but if he needs to, it’s there. Unlike Kalim, he will isolate. You start losing friends. He’ll end up taking too much of the time that eventually you start turning down invitations and start spending time with him. You’re slowly losing your friends and actively choosing to seek out Jamil now. That’s what he wants, while yes he played a part in it he managed to shift all blame to you. Yeah, he asked you out at first but now YOU’RE the one seeking him out. Not him. All is according to plan. Aside from isolating you, he’ll do what he can to make you keep your attention on him. Look at him. Speak to him only. Love him and nobody else. Stay with him forever. You start seeking him out and that’s when he knows he’s won. He’s so overprotective, constantly looking after you. He has a tight schedule that you follow, it’s for your benefit he says. Eventually, your life starts to be dictated by him. I want to say that after a while, he trusts you around Kalim. You can assist him in his duties and you can lighten his load. You can help him study, you can run errands, can watch over him, etc. At some point, he’ll let the power dynamic get to him and have you do impossible tasks. His relationship with Kalim is the same as yours, except he's the master and you’re the servant. He does love you, but he sometimes lets it slip. He just enjoys the roles being reversed for a bit. 

What's the scale change I want to make? It’s rope, chain, and saw. The rope is soft, their control over you is minimal and it’s usually held with rope. A knot that isn’t too secure but can come undone. The chain is a little bit stricter, there is a key to remove but it’s usually only given after you’ve made them happy for a while. The saw is that these crazy ass mfs took your leg babes, they sawed that bitch off!! Their control is so strong they clipped your wings, and you’re not leaving. So why is this relevant, well. . .I see Jamil using that as a last resort. We jumped a couple of chapters so let me start at the beginning. If you like Vocaloid, there is this song called ‘purgatory and the canary girl’, and honestly, that's how I see your relationship with Jamil. I feel like you’re a doll, a bird in a cage for his viewing pleasure only. You’re not something that he has to give to Kalim or the Asims. You’re his. His to control, his to enjoy, his to exploit, his to love, etc. This is something he can have. He hates being second. He hates having to give up his well-deserved spotlight because his status says he can’t have it. He hates it, he loathes it but it’s okay. He’s willing to give it all up, as long as he can keep you. So like a caged bird, he’s not letting you see anyone. You’re not interacting with anyone aside from him and the people he lets near. If you escape him, yeah he’d probably be one of the few who are willing to look for permanent solutions to make you stay. So yes, he might cut your leg(s) off to ensure you don’t leave him. 

His scaling aside from the saw is a 9/10. Man is committed to doing anything as long as you gaze at him only. Would he take your eyes? Now I’m getting sidetracked but no because I see him as someone who still wants you to look at him. However, if the cage isn’t enough he’s willing to clip a few wings to get you to depend on and rely on him entirely. He’s dangerous because he’s not above certain limits, he’s fine with keeping you as you are. 

[schizo-bbgs]

How did you study about military gear? I'm currently trying & searching sources and looking for some tips.

I really like your work btw. Keep going✨️

Hi! Thank you so much, I'm excited to share some knowledge with someone. <3 I tried summing up methods that have helped me the most: 1. lots of research (vids, blogs, magazines, loadout lists,...) 2. store/product photos 3. military photos (not airsoft!) 4. damtoy loadout showcase vids I first started off with doing extensive research on cod operators. Cosplay guides by shadeops21 (DeviantArt) are a huge help with the most accurate loadout lists.

Next step was looking up product photos & studying the functions, shapes, different angles. Store/product photos are my most used refs, they're in high resolution & you'll see every detail thanks to a well lit environment. I also collect military pics in one huge folder, not only for pose refs & inspo, but also as refs on how the gear is used. Product photos will lay flat, worn gear will always look different!

Make sure to learn how to differentiate airsoft from real military pics, airsofters (except for dedicated reenactors/milsimers) tend to have wacky tastes (ugly, black amazon gear and fake, glowing NVGs,...).

The gear of Damtoys is incredibly accurate & precise, watching videos of the dolls being dressed will also give you an idea on how accs (pouches, glow sticks, radio systems, ...) are attached to the equipment.

My strongest interests lay in SOF, so I'll also collect magazines with expert info, insights & loadout descriptions (K-ISOM (German) SPECIAL OPS (Polish)). To my advantage, I do have friends who are either huge military nerds or in active duty, I'll sometimes ask them questions and learn about the features and (dis)advantages of various pieces of gear. It's a life hack, but you'll achieve your goal either way if you're determined!

After you got a feel for the basics, you can start accommodating knowledge. Study drawing/recognizing the most used equipment first, western modern kits are very repetitive (as the products are so good, they don't need to be replaced). Headsets: 3M Peltor ComTac, Sordin, Ops-Core AMP Helmets: Ops-Core, Crye AirFrame, Team Wendy, MICH 2000 Plate carriers: Crye JPC, Crye AVS, First Spear, Lindnerhof, AGILITE, LBT Slick & 6094 Gloves: Oakleys, PIG FDT Alpha, Mechanix, Petzl, Nomex flight gloves, Outdoor Research Ironsight After that you can start looking up more niche or less iconic brands and gear, you'll be a nerd in no time. I hope this is helpful and I'm sorry for the late reply. If you ever need help or info on something, feel free to dm me on Twitter or Tumblr!

[katsukiizmoon]

Fanfiction Writing / Reading

Hi everyone, I wanted to make a little post on general fanfiction writing and reading etiquette etc for everyone. For reference I've been writing fanfiction since I was 12, I'm now nearing 23 and I've been on tumblr since 2013. There's links to resources for those that would like them.

-> GENERAL ADVICE

Color Coding Dialogue On Tumblr: While using color can create visual contrast in things like titles or description, using it to color code dialogue can cause problems for those who are neurodivergent or vision impaired. For instance, I have trouble reading things where the dialogue for one character is bright in color. This means I miss out and can't read and support many new writers.

Showing support for your writers: I don't think demanding reblogs is an appropriate response. However, as someone who has been here for a long time, it's important. You can show your support by commenting, liking, reblogging (and reblogging with tags gives brownie points). Generally : liking will be lost in a sea of likes over time making it harder for you to find that fic again but shows you thought it was good, reblogging shows you enjoyed the fic enough to share it with those on your blog (you can even have a side blog dedicated to fics) and would like to find it again, reblogging with tags or comments says that you enjoyed it enough to share it, push it higher in the tags and that you had thoughts. This helps motivate writers ! Feel free to send them an anonymous ask if you're shy, expressing that you really enjoyed their work.

Use of italics and bold in works: Italics and bold should be used to indicate stressing or importance of certain words. EX: "no you did it!" vs "no you did it" ! You don't need to italic entire dialogue unless it's in certain situations (flashbacks, memories, whispers, etc)

Plotting & Timing: Plot and timing can be a really useful tool! Understanding what your characters are doing and having the plot move smoothly is important when writing. It prevents gaps and promotes interest. Even some of my works move a little too fast, and it can sometimes cause confusion.

READ, READ, READ: Reading is probably the fastest way to increase and broaden your horizons as an author. It allows you to gain a larger vocabularic range and new metaphors. And it helps you find what could be plot holes and more.

SMUT ; Cum Timing: I've written this before, it can happen but it's unlikely. I'll make a whole post dedicated to.. smut. But for now. Here's some other scenarios and miscellaneous notes: -> bottom cums really early on, then the top cums later -> top cums extremely early on, proceeds with oral on bottom -> top can't get it up (this happens a bit with drugs involved) for a while and gives pleasure to bottom, then stops and gives up on an orgasm

Those are a few of my main, overall tips but I'm going to link you to a bunch of resources, too. I understand more than anyone what it's like being new to this. But one of the biggest pieces advice I'm going to give you is:

Allow your writing to be objectively "bad" at first. It always comes with practice. My first fanfictions I used "~" like it was a goddamn period. It's okay.

-> RESOURCES

"writing resources : words are hard"

"describing feelings, emotions, and tone"

"au prompt list"

"how to write medieval smut"

"starting a new paragraph"

"writing resources: world building"

"writing fight scenes"

"ways to further develop main characters"

There are tons of writing blogs on tumblr. You can send them an ask anonymously if you have any questions and they may respond with some good resources. Being a little more on the accurate side, even if you accidentally fuck up a bit, gives you brownie points a LOT.

Have a nice day OwO !

[ask-sebastiansolace]

"Welcome! Got some things you might find useful on your endeavor, for a price, obviously."

Warnings:

This blog may contain depictions of gore, swearing, possibly NSFW topics and more.

Sexual rp is completely out of question and if you try you will be blocked on sight. Some suggestive asks are okay. key word SOME, I am a minor ☝️so I will decide what I'm okay with and what I'm not

viewer discretion is advised.

This is an askblog/roleplay blog, and although most parts will be based in canon, lots of headcanons will be brought up! Though, I will try to keep it as canon as I can.

Roleplaying Info:

"Sebastian speaks like this."

Actions will look like this.

[mod speaks like this! though oftentimes I speak in tags!]

Description (from the wiki):

Sebastian runs a makeshift shop in which he sells items and supplies to prisoners in exchange for any research they've obtained along the way. He also supplies items to the player through Dead Drops, requesting credits in exchange for items to be left at the Submarine Dock. Sebastian does not see convicts sent by Urbanshade as his enemies and is willing to help them in exchange for their research.

also apparently this man is 31 years old

Hi, this is mod Duck! The mod behind this blog :] I made this blog just for roleplaying and fun, so regardless of fandom, feel free to drop an ask and interact!! Be warned if you want to do actual rps, I am not good at those, but I will try so go ahead 😼👍

call me by whatever pronouns you see fit! I do not care! my mod blog is @xxmoonduskxx !! so if you have any questions for me in particular, ask there! :D

current status: ask box is OPEN!!

answering

^^^ sometimes I forget to update this!! not always accurate

[mrsjavierp]

Where you belong?

Chapter 9 - I'll be your Dirty Little Secret

Javier Peña x latin!f!reader

Summary: Running away from life as you always knew to start a new position as Head Chief on a DEA Office, far away, on Colombia. There, you'll face violence, as you never thought you could. There, you'll meet Javier Peña, your stubborn agent...

Warnings (to the whole fic): +18!, angst, smut, cheating, last relationships, drug dealing - Narcos Universe (not so accurate), bad spanish, english is my second language, use of Y/N and Y/LN. No physical description of the reader, only your clothes (sometimes). The POVs are shifting between reader (first person and Narrator - 3rd person)

(If I forgot anything, tell me, pls!)

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: Thanks for your feedback, hope you enjoy this chapter! Hope to hear from you all soon! I gotta say I'm really fucking horny for Javi lol

Tag: @creedslove | @pedrostories | @mjoee13 | @immyowndefender | @iamsherlocked-1998 | @pedroswife69 | @szde8-blog ***

Narrator's POV:

“Oh, cariño, you're never off the hook, not with me.” - he responded to you, joining you in the bathtub. - “Fuck, cariño, are you trying to cook us? This water is insanely hot!”

You laughed, still feeling fuzzy.

“I like it, Javi…” - you coo.

Your bodies glue as if they were magnets. Your skin, even with hot water, crawls. He sat behind you, covering you, feeling you, getting drunk on you again.

“God, I could stay like this forever, cariño…” - he kisses the back of your neck, softly.

“Me too, Javi… Me too.” - your words come out slowly.

He notices how you melt on top of him. He is relieved that you don't seem desperate to leave him again. 

His hands start to touch your waist lightly, with the tip of his fingers. 

You groan, Javier smirks. 

“Cariño?” - he whispers in your ear.

“Yeah?”

“You know you didn't follow my rules, do you?”

“What do you mean by that, Javi?” - you answer, clueless. You didn't recall that had just happened, your mind was still kinda foggy from all those orgasms.

His smirk grows.

“You came without my permission, cariño. I didn't forget that.”

“And what are you gonna do about it?” - you tease.

His hands started going down your body. You shiver.

“Javi…” - you try to form a sentence and fail.

“Cariño, don't make me be meaner that I intend to… Is how they say: don't do the crime if you can't do the time.” - his hands are on your thighs, avoiding where you need them the most.

“Oh, fuck… But Ja-javi, I-I-I warned you…” - you try to argue, your voice barely came out.

He laughed. 

“It wasn't yours yet to take, cariño…” - One of his fingers got inside of you, without any warning. - “You're mine now, cariño.” - A second finger enters. 

You bite a moan.

“I wanna hear you, cariño. No more denying what's mine from me, I already told you that. I hate repeating myself.” - his tone was serious and he put in a third finger. 

“Holy shit, Javier!” - you exclamate. He barely let you get used to his fingers before he put them inside of you one by one.

His smile is growing by the second.

“That's what I wanted to hear…” - his other hand went to your throbbing clitoris, circling on. - “I know you can be a good girl, cariño. You just needed me to help you get there…”

“Javi, please, I'm still sensitive from all of it, I w-won’t be able to ho-hold…” - you didn't want him to stop, but let you come without any permission. Your legs closed, trying to figure out how to obey him.

“Cariño, I know, that's why it's a punishment.” - his tone was so… Arrogant. The hand on your clitoris circled a little faster. - “If you start to get closer, tell me, okay?”

“Javier, for God's sake!” - you yell again.

“Your pussy is hugging my fingers so tight, I already miss you on my dick, cariño.”

Your mind is still foggy. Javier seemed delighted to see you so… So his. His cariño, his baby girl.

A couple minutes later, you held on the bathtub’s rim and yelled, mixing English and Spanish, to Javier have mercy on you.

He smiled widely and responded:

“Promise me that you're not leaving me again, that you're mine…” - his circular motions on your clitoris got even harder and faster. - “Promise me!”

“I promise, Javi!” - you yell. 

“Oh, do you? Are you sure, cariño?” - Javier mocked you.

“Yes, Javier, I do! Please, please let me!”

“Let you what, cariño? Use your words.” - he continued in a ruthless rhythm.

“Javier, for crying out loud, let me come!” - you yell so loud you're sure someone heard you. 

Not that any of you cared per say. You can't remember the last man who made you shake like that.

You can feel Javier's smirk behind you.

“I don't know if I believe you, cariño…”

“Javier, I swear to God…” - you manage to respond.

“You can come, cariño.” - he whispered, like music to your ears.

You come hard, squirting in the bathtub, still holding the rim.

You come screaming Javier's name.

And Javier, at that moment, could die a happy man.

You both took an actual bath, after. And one that cleans you. 

After a few minutes, you both get out, get dry and go to bed.

As you both walk naked back to your room, Javier asked:

“Do you mind if I sleep here, cariño?”

“Peña, for the fucking love of God, you just fucked my throat and pussy and you're asking if we can sleep together?”

“Of course I am!” - he said, as he joined you in the bed. - “It's your bed, your room, your apartment…” - he leaned towards you and his mouth right next to your ear. One arm held you close to him and the other held your pussy, cupping her. - “But you belong to me, cariño. And this pussy is mine. I'm not letting you run away again.”

You tremble under his hands.

“Javi…”

He had a smile on his voice, you could feel it.

“I love when you call me, you know?

“Oh, yeah?” - you moan. 

“Yes, cariño. When you do it, it confirms where you belong.” - he whispered, in a way that made you shake under him. - “Yes, cariño." - he repeated. - “You belong here. Don't forget about your promise.”

“Javi, I won't…” - you managed to respond.

“Good to know, cariño. Buenas noches, Hermosa.”(Good night, beautiful.)

“Good night, Javi.” - you respond.

He kisses you lightly and you both pass out.

***

You wake up alone in your bed.

Fuck, it was payback for leaving him… God, I'm so stupid... - you thought 

But then, you smell coffee from your kitchen.

You get up naked, without realizing it and walk towards the smell.

Javier was wearing only his boxers, preparing coffee on your machine. 

He turns to you, with a wide smile and a lustful look in his eyes.

“Good morning, cariño.”

He hugs you and feels you against skin. You're so soft.

“Good morning, Javi… I thought you left without saying goodbye.” 

“I couldn't do that to you… Not before coffee.” - he jokes. - “Let's have it… I think it's ready.”

He served you and poured himself some in your white mugs. You both drink it, sharing an intimate glance.

“God, that was good, Javi. Future coffee duties are your responsibility in my apartment.” - you smile at him.

He seems genuinely happy to share that moment. His free hand went to your cheek and fondled you.

“Cariño, it's still early… Do you mind serving me breakfast?” 

“Sorry, I didn't get it, Javi… You want to eat something?” 

“Yes, cariño. Sit on the table and open your legs, please. I'd like to have your pussy as my first meal.”

You look at him, in disbelief. 

“We don't have all day, cariño. Go ahead.” - he sat down, waiting.

With your still very much naked body, you sat down in front of him, just like he said.

Javier devoured your cunt as a starved man.

Again.

***

Walking back into his office with a huff, carrying a file with some information on one of Pablo’s Sicarios, he hands it to Steve, who sits at the desk in front of his. 

“Got this from the FBI’s archive.” - and hands it to Steve. - “Seems that our boy Luiz is more than just a sicario, look.” 

Steve passes through the file, interested. 

“God, I need coffee.” - he complains. - “You and your lady friend didn’t let anyone sleep in the fucking building…” - he mocked.

Javier looked at Steve, with his eyes widened. 

“What the fuck, Murphy?”

He laughed.

“Dude… You should really keep it down. Seriously. Our boss is our neighbor, if Connie was here, she’d kick my and your ass. Stop this kind of shit.”

Javier stared at him, without saying any words. You both were actually really fucking loud. Seconds later, the phone on his desk starts to ring.

“Agente Peña.” - he picked up.

“Hello, you…” - you say to him, in a sexy tone. 

You’re looking through your office window, as Javier’s posture flinches. He’s not expecting you to be this bold at work. He knows you’re really uptight about these things.

Javier clears his throat and tries to put on his usual stoic act.

“What do you want?”

“Not saying my name, pretending to be annoyed so as not to alarm Steve… You’re better at sneaking around than I thought, Javi.”

“You know me so well… What do you need this time?” - Javier responded, ironically. 

Steve looked at him, confused.

“You, Javi. I need you. This morning wasn’t enough… Come here to my office.”

He looked at your window, observing your sly smile. 

“Well, that certainly gets my attention. I’ll be there in a bit… You should know I’m in a terrible mood, I did not get much sleep last night” - he teases you in the same annoyed tone.

Steve looked at him, shocked.

“And that’s your fault… You barged into my place, did you forget about it?”

“I didn’t forget. I’ve been remembering every minute of it.”

“Oh, you've been remembering?” - you're a little surprised.

“I certainly have…” - Javier tries to hold back a smirk.

“Control your face, Javi. No one can know about us… Not even Steve.” - you recall him.

“I may not be able to do it if you keep talking to me like that.” - his tone is serious, but you know what he actually meant.

“Stop it…” - you laugh.

“You’re the one who called, you stop it!” - his tone sounded harsh, but his eyes on you were full of lust.

You’re both having so much fun with all that teasing.

“That’s true, I did… So stop fooling with me and come to my office, Javi.” - you whisper.

Javier holds back a smile and respond:

“I’m on my way.” - he hangs up.

He gathers some random files, to help him disguise his visit to your office. As he does it, Steve asks:

“Hey, where you going?”

“Y/LN’s office.”

“Good luck and I hope she doesn't kill you...” - Steve snorted.

Javier rolled his eyes and knocked on your door.

“Come in.” - you tell him, in your normal voice.

Peña stepped in, closing the door behind him.

Without looking at him, reading a file in front of you, you demand:

“Lock the door and close the blinds, Peña…” - the same cold tone that hid all your arousal.

His face holds a smug grin, anxious. 

You get up, look at him, sit on your desk, as he is across the small office, after he closed the blinds.

He stared at you, you can tell he's holding back his urge to pull you into his embrace. 

“Did you miss me?” - you teased Javi.

He gives up on the little self control he's got and comes closer to where you're sitting on the desk. His fingers softly moves along your legs and then your back, as he leaned down your ear and whisper:

“I did, cariño…”

“I missed you too.” - you coo. - “I know it’s not like me to act like this while we’re at work, but… I can’t think about anything else besides how you ate me up on my kitchen table…”

Javi smiled like a kid on Christmas morning. He pulled you closer, kissing your neck before leaning his head back, breathing in your scent. 

“I don’t see how that could possibly be a bad thing… I was looking forward to doing a replay of that for the entire day, I couldn’t think of anything else… Oh fuck, you smell so good… Please don’t tell me it’s the same fucking perfume you used in the first night we’ve got together…”

“Okay, I won’t tell you…” - you respond, with a sly smile.

“Fuck, you’re gonna kill me, cariño…” - he whispers and kisses you passionately.

The way he touches you is so addictive.

“Oh damn, you’re wearing that shirt that smells like me… The one from the first night…” - you observed.

Javier chuckled.

“I thought it’d be perfect for today… It smells like you and you’re all I can think about.”

“No one noticed, right?” - you question him, kinda afraid. - “Not even Steve? You know we have to be careful…”

“Calm down, Agente Y/LN.” - he said. - “Steve didn’t notice, I’m sure he thinks we’re arguing. Changing the subject a little, to help you relax, I was thinking…” - Javier starts, as his hands move to the flounce of your dress and slowly lifts it. - “We could go on a date tonight, would you like it?” - His hands go to your pussy, to find out that you’re not wearing panties. - “What a dirty girl, cariño… You forgot about wearing panties, when you picked this dress today?”

“I’m not Agente Y/LN for you and I’m not providing evidence against myself to you, Agente Peña…” - you mumble, as he felt how slippery your pussy was, so wet for him already.

“Oh, you’re not, Agente Y/LN? Interesting…” - he coats your folds, moving his fingers as you slightly open your legs and and looks at him.

“Oh, fuck…” - you moan almost inaudibly. - “It’s no-not ‘Agente Y/LN’ for you, Peña… It’s Jefe Y/LN.” - you answer.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” - he pretends to be remorseful, as his index finger teased your hole. You know he’s not sorry. - “Jefe Y/LN, tell me…”

“Ye-yeah, Peña?”

“Did you or did you not forget your panties on purpose this morning, so you could mess around with me?”

You moan, looking at Peña’s smirk. Sometimes, you wish to punch and kiss his face at the same time. 

He inserts his index finger on you, slowly, torturing you.

“Yes, I did.” - you confess, between moans.

Javier’s smile grows and he puts his middle finger. 

“That’s it, cariño… I just wanted the truth.” - he responded to your confession. His fingers continued to work and you could feel your orgasm building on your gut. Javier seemed to know your body better than any man who ever touched you.

“Oh, Javi!” - you moan softly. - “That’s so good, keep going.” - you demand.

“Do you think you can demand anything in your position, cariño?” - He asked. His voice was arrogant as usual. - “No, cariño, I’m done with you calling the shots for the past few weeks. It’s my turn now.” - he toys with your pussy for a bit more and takes off his fingers.

“You’re mean, Peña.” - you groan, missing his touch. 

He smirks, looking deep in your eyes. Without saying a word whatsoever, he pulls you off the table and spins you, so you turn your back on him. He lifts the remaining fabric covering your ass and slaps you.

“Fuck!” - you hiss. - “What are you doing, Peña?”

You hear his belt opening and zipper going down.

“Giving you what you asked for, but in my way.” - answer. - “Hold on the desk, cariño.” 

You obey, as he slides into you, with his big fat dick.

Javier’s hands traveled, one tapping your mouth and the other on your throbbing clitoris, circling it fast.

He bit your flash, to shut him up and not alarm what was going on behind your office’s doors.

Both of you came just a few minutes later, holding back all your noises.

Gasping for air and tucking himself into his pants, Javier asks:

“So, I pick you up at 8?”

“Yeah, knock on my door at 8h… But where are we going, Javi?” “Será una sorpresa, cariño.” (It’ll be a surprise) - he said.

*

At 8 PM sharp, Javier knocks on your door, wearing that black leather jacket that fits his broad shoulders, black pants, boots and button shirt. He was sweating, but had nothing to do with the weather: that night was, surprisingly, a bit chilly.

You opened the door, with a big smile on your face. His eyes widened when he noticed your pretty dress: a bit different from your work clothes, your dress was short, loose and white, hugging your waist and loose in your hips. 

You two, as a couple, were almost a Yin and Yang picture. 

“You’re gorgeous, cariño.” - Javier recognized.

“Thanks, Javi… You’re not so bad on the eyes yourself.” - you respond. - “Wanna come in for a drink?”

“As much as I’d love to, I’d rather just go… I’ve got no self control, cariño.”

“Okay, lead the way, Javi. I’m quite curious.”

* Javier takes you to a bar downtown, however, he didn’t know that was a reggaeton dancing night. You insisted on staying, as you were eager to see him dancing. 

A few drinks later, you begun your plan:

“Come on, Javier! You’re Tex-Mex… You’re telling me you can’t dance?” - you tease him.

“It isn’t a can’t, it’s a won’t dance.” - he rolled his eyes.

“Oh yeah? Let’s see.” - And you simply get up and start dancing by yourself, luring looks.

Javier was astonished at how bold you were… Your body moved sensually and naturally as the music played.

A random guy tried to approach you, inviting you dancing, and the fire from Javier’s desire turned into a sea of jealousy flames.

As you’re about to turn the guy down gently, Javier finished his drink in one sip and he scared the guy off.

“I thought you weren’t dancing with me, Javi.” - you whisper in his ear, provoking him again.

His hands pulled your hips to touch his, leading you to dance with him. To your surprise, Javier was actually a good dancer. He spins you, making you stay at the same position he fucked you earlier, but with all those clothes dividing you.

“Well, I wasn't, to be honest… But you’re something else, cariño.”

Javier's voice was so full of desire… Since your ex, you couldn’t remember the last time he or any other did that to you. Javier not only expressed you by using words, but by showing you, touching you. 

“Oh my God, Javi… You’re making it so hard…”

“Hard?” - he asked.

“Hard for me to resist you.”

He spinned you, so you could look at him. His eyes were warm, burning for you. At that moment, it felt like only the two of you were there, at the bar, with those sexy reggaeton songs playing.

“Why are you still holding back, cariño?” - he asked, in a tone that made you feel something else in your chest. He wasn't demanding, he wasn't angry. He wanted to understand you, make you feel comfortable with him. One hand was on your waist, holding you against him and the other fondled your face, not letting you look away. You could feel his big body embracing you, holding you firmly, not in a way as if you were fragile, but as if you were precious.

“Javi…” - your voice was nothing more than a whisper. - “How about we continue this somewhere more private? We can go back home… My place or yours?”

“Yours, cariño… Let's go.”

***

Arriving at your place, you both are a bit nervous, not knowing exactly what to say or how to begin an awkward conversation.

“Care for a drink, Javi?” - you ask him, while serving you one more shot of whiskey,

“Sure. Neat, please.” 

“My kind of man…” - you joke, smiling and handing him the drink.

You toast, in silence.

“So…” - you start. - “Are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room or not?”

“Well… We can do it, of course. But if you don't wanna do it right now, it’s okay…”

“We kinda have two options: we could actually talk about it or we could do something more… Interesting, per say…”

“I’m listening, cariño…” - Javier lifted his chin and eyebrows, his eyes full of lust, his mind going through possibilities on what you both could do.

You just look at him with a mischievous smile, not responding to him verbally, also fantasizing all the things you’d wanted to do, without knowing how to begin.

Next

[horseimagebarn]

hello friends welcome to the horseimagebarn weekly interaction recap where i respond to all the asks reblogs comments etc i received in the previous week every single friday

however as some of you may have noticed i have done you all a disservice in that i missed last weeks recap due to life reasons that i will not specify but i will tell you i have been listening to weezer more than normal which i believe is ample insight into my life at the moment

i beg your pardon in this slight as i take my duty as the horseimagebarn curator very seriously and i know i have dropped the ball a bit recently by decreasing my posting frequency and missing out on last weeks recap i sincerely apologize and it will not happen again

to atone i shall include posts from the past two weeks in this weekly recap so that you may see all i have had to say

i do not know who you are idespisehorses or why you have such hate in your heart but i hope you know you greatly soured my 9 11 and every day after

she horse on my image til i barn

horse masseuse thats awesome i am glad your mom enjoys my posts and i wish you and her both very well however i have found my niche as it were on tumblr and i enjoy the folk here very much and i dont think i would get on as well with the facebook crowd and i am not doing this for fame or community though the community here is very nice and enjoyable and a welcome benefit i do this out of love for the craft however i do look at horses on facebook from time to time

thank you for your praise my friend you see i always found image descriptions to accurately convey the physicality of the image only and never the emotions or aura of the image so i felt that for something debatably non vital like horse images i might try to employ a more abstract and possibly more spiritually accurate manner of writing image descriptions

never do i feel more satisfaction and joy than i do when i find out the names of the horses in the horseimagebarn this account does excellent work

it is no worries some horse images are not for everyone

yes my friend i tag my horses based on ten key emotions though i am planning on adding more when i have the time to go through and resort my posts as i want people to be able to use the tags to find a horse image that reflects whatever emotion they are seeking perfectly if you have any suggestions for new tags please let me know

please spare me for my sins against car tumblr i fear i will never recover from this

yes this is true and i have read that a horse if old enough may die due to a lack of teeth if it grinds them down enough in its life

you can always look at horses on google sweatybeard the horses can sense negativity

my homie has spotted me in the wild hello homie

congratulations sylvia42

my friends you touch me deeply with your messages and i appreciate your patience greatly it heartens me to know so many people enjoy my efforts i have never risen to such heights as i have on this blog and i appreciate you all so much

i am happy for you my friend i deeply wish to go on a trail ride one day with a horse but i live in a tourist town so it is approximately one million dollars to do such and i am trapped within the throes of capitalism i am glad no horses were harmed on your trip and i am pleased to know you had a wonderful time

shoutout isaac

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Strongest

Author's Note: More of Ramiel in Living Waters AU. Thank you to @sleepyfan-blog for letting me borrow Cedric.

Summary: While gathering medicine plants and animals, Ramiel hears a familiar and dreaded voice. Before he can decide to confront or avoid his mentor, Jophiel asks for help with something.

Warnings: Canon typical violence, panic, kidnapping, and description of injuries. Let me know if I need to add more.

Past =-= Next

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams,

Tagged continued: @sleepyfan-blog, @whorety-k, @ms--lobotomy @bispecsual @thevoidscreams

Tagged continued: @i-am-a-dragon34, @gra93fruit-blog

A few weeks go by with nothing much of note happening, even if his scales itch with the yearning to move and be useful. He helps his brothers Primaris, and First born alike. Even if it’s limited to Arnault and Roland (who are both wonderful).

It sometimes feels like he and Cedric are being slightly dishonest with them about the ‘shoal’ that they belong to. What with all of them being Primaris Marines and all ‘scout aged brats’ in the words of Erriox. Who had given them a Look after his first meeting with Catius.

Thank the God Emperor for Jophiel and Claude being blessed with accurate Foresight- and Erriox, despite wanting to stay and ask them all questions. That conversation, or series of conversations the First Born Iron Warrior will have with them, once he gets back.

Unfortunately he’d only been able to briefly meet Catius before being called away by his not-warband of First Born Iron Warriors for some help dealing with something that was Important and he couldn’t delay leaving.

‘Yeah, that conversation with Erriox is going to be a painful one.’ Ramiel thinks to himself, wincing a little as he continues to swim, gathering some materials at Cedric’s request.

He had pointed out to the others that the Iron Warriors not-revenge for pulling a grox-shite maneuver like this was going to be more calculated and planned out. Since he will have the time to think over his questions and come up with his own reasons for why they did this.

Jophiel had hummed and shook his head from side to side a little saying that, “It will work itself out. In time.”

“That is kind of ominous Jophie,” Ramiel had said slightly sternly to the youngest of their squad with a slight frown.

“He’s already adopted all of us with Mama,” Jophiel says with an easy grin, “So it’s not going to be as bad as you or Cedric worry it will be.”

“How do you know that?” Claude asks, half suspecting the answer the other will give him.

“I Saw it,” Jophiel replies, “Granted, I don’t see much nowadays on Ancient Terra, but it’s a clear image in my mind when I look for it.”

“Not all that you See is immutable,” Claude points out, “nothing is, things can and do change.”

“True,” Jophiel says, “But I have a good feeling about it.”

The others had dropped the issue, as it would be counterproductive to try to argue, since it’s what happened anyways. Jophiel had said that he’d wanted Catius to meet Mama and Elder Brother Erriox last because the First Born was from Pre-heresy and would know the habits and rules of Ultramarines, especially those of Catius’s age range.

And how Catius being not surrounded by Ultramarines would be flagged as outlier behavior for his gene-line. Which is true- but they had their reasons, really good ones, for why they are doing what they are doing.

Ramiel continues to swim, shaking his head a little, pulling his thoughts away from the past as he continues carefully gathering more medicinal plants and bits of what-not. He’s carefully plucking some sea urchins- careful to be sure that he’s harvesting sustainably, when he hears a voice that makes his body treacherously shake and his eyes go wide.

He stuffs the sea urchin into the pouch and carefully looks around his surroundings- his helmet scanning and trying to target something dangerous due to the rapidly spiking adrenaline and hormones rushing through his body.

There- over there he spots. H-he spots. Someone that he hadn’t realized was on Ancient Terra until this very moment. Someone he needs to warn Cedric about, the others will be told as well. Since this First born is a Primaris Killer.

His mind’s a whirl with thoughts. Black Templars are highly migratory, and he hopes and prays to the God Emperor that he hasn’t been spotted. He listens on the vox-channels, no words- nor orders are being specifically barked at him. For now at least.

He slowly considers his options, part of his training hisses at him that a Black Templar doesn't run, that they rise to face whatever challenge comes their way with ferocity and courage. Another part of him, something un-astartes-like and small whispers I don't want to die again. Everyone dies, how, when, what way, and where is something no one knows until it happens to them.

He is glad for his Chaplain colors as it makes him more difficult to see in the ocean's depths. Ramiel gets a message from Jophiel, the Blood Angel primaris space marine is asking him to get Cedric and he gets a location ping. He silently thanks the God Emperor for Jophiel’s sense of timing. He responded that he will get ahold of Cedric and head to his location swiftly. He finds Cedric easily enough since they were gathering ingredients for medical purposes in the same area.

"Jophiel is requesting medical aid, I have his location. Let's go.” Ramiel says to Cedric. He takes a deep breath and quietly tells him,”I heard the Honorable Chaplain Captain Petras’s voice earlier.”

Cedric’s eyes go wide, darting around the area and says after a moment of silence, “let's see what Jophiel wants our help with.”

Ramiel nods in agreement and he heads in the direction that Jophiel is, Cedric following after him. He occasionally pauses and tugs Cedric in the right direction as he understands why his fellow Primaris Marine Black Templar is a bit distracted. Both of them start moving faster when the scent of blood in the water hits their noses.

Ramiel swears silently when he sees Jophiel, both of his wings are broken and it looks like he had a run in with the stabbing part of a blade.

“By the Throne, what happened?” Ramiel asks.

Cedric is pulling out his medical supplies as he assesses Jophiel’s condition. He notices the wound patterning and his hands don't shake, but his tail lashes out showing his upset.

Jophiel croaks out, “One of the… Psyker trainers from Titan, are on Ancient Terra.”

“That is… thank you for letting us know,” Ramiel says, keeping his voice low and soothing.

Ramiel and Cedric exchange significant looks with one another. And Cedric asks, “where is Claude? He was with you last check in.”

“The trainer from Titan realized Claude's Warp touched as well and decided to… personally train him.” Jophiel says and looks down guilty, and back up at them, “I tried to explain that wasn't necessary. He deemed this a suitable punishment for my disobedience and lack of respect.”

“I have more unfortunate news,” Ramiel says, after Cedric gives him a gesture that Jophiel was stable enough, for now. “I heard the Honorable Chaplain Captain Petras’s voice earlier today.”

“When it rains, it pours,” Jophiel says shakily, almost nonsensical. “Bad news comes threes.”

“Thanks for warning,” Ramiel says after trying, and failing to come up with something comforting or soothing.

He has also contacted Catius who is going to arrive in a few minutes. He was helping the Gannet Aunties with something before Jophiel sent out a request for aid.

“Why didn't you send out a distress signal?” Cedric asks.

“Anyone could pick that up,” Jophiel says, “I didn't want to be picked apart by opportunistic First Borns. There is the taste of Chaos nearby.”

Ah. There is the Blood Angel Paranoia. Although, hearing that there are some Chaos Marines nearby has Ramiel and Cedric’s hands to their weapons, their bodies automatically go into a readied stance. Eyes and Other senses trying to find the potential enemy, or several.

“You are physically stable enough to move, if we are careful,” Cedric states. “Do you need some… extra iron? I know that expedited your healing factor exponentially.”

“I… want to hold off on that, For now.” Jophiel says.

He is Hungry or more accurately, Thirsty. But, it's not overwhelmingly difficult to ignore the gnawing at his mind and belly. For now, at least.

“I am here,” Catius calls out, noticing that Claude is missing and Jophiel is wounded. “What happened?!”

Ramiel gives him a run down of the situation as he knows it and Catius rubs his face, having taken his helmet off.

“Once Jophiel is more recovered we can… try to find Claude.” Catius says, his mind a whirl of thoughts and emotions, “best case scenario, Claude somehow escapes the… trainer before we attempt rescue.”

Catius duck's under Jophiel’s other shoulder and with Cedric wrapping his arm around his torso, the start to drag him. With Jophiel trying to help them move, Ramiel has his head on a swivel as he looks for potential threats and is guarding the other three.

“For best healing practices,” Cedric says carefully, “we need to get him out of the water, his wings at least.”

The question becomes, where can they stash Jophiel that is safe enough for him to recover in that is not below the waves.

“Not the Rock with the Gannet Aunties,” Jophiel says suddenly, “those Alpha Legionaries bastards are there. Constantly since they bonded with Lana. Who knows what they'd do if they found one of us wounded.”

[gothcsz]

𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒆 / Chapter VIIII.

GIF CREDIT

PAIRING: Javier Peña x Original Female Character

SUMMARY: After months of dancing around their emotions, Javier and Paloma finally address the tension between them head-on.

WORD COUNT: ~9.2k

RATING: 18+ Mature topics such as sex, drugs, murder, the occult, religion, cannibalism and other triggering matters will be explored in this body of work. Minors DNI.

CHAPTER SPECIFIC TAGS: smuttt, bulge riding, dry humping, protected p in v sex, dirty talk, javi being an asshole, angst, crime talk (if it's not accurate don't @ me), descriptions of violence against women, vomit mention, slut shaming(?), detective!javi is very gorgeous ME, other things that I'm probably forgetting.

DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS: The Javier Peña referenced in this body of work is solely based off of the character that appears in Netflix’s Narcos and not the actual person. Very canon divergent and I will tweak things as I see fit to compliment the narrative of this story. While efforts have been made to be accurate in terms of canon timeline, a lot of details will be fictionalized, including the usage of the song(s) that Paloma will perform throughout the story.

A/N: we did it… we did it joe !! javi and OFC finally [REDACTED] !! thank u to everyone who has been keepin up w this foolery so far, it makes my lil heart happy to see engagement < 3 also wanna say that years of watching criminal minds is finally starting to pay off and i rly hope u guys are enjoying the crime aspect of the plot because i'm havin A LOT of fun writing and developing it !! shit is gonna get twisted and intricate so brace yourselves for where we're about to go !!! the smut in this chapter is heavily inspired by touch it by ariana grande so i def recommend giving that a listen bc i feel like it just fits their vibe so well (i may or may not have used some of the lyrics in the dialogue.. oop!) last thing sooo irrelevant but mayor abbott looks like jonathan bailey (bridgerton hive RISE!!) in my head so take that as u will xoxo always feel free to drop any type of feedback/support on this blog or ao3. i'd really appreciate it <3

♰  read on ao3. ♰

♰  playlist | pinterest | series masterlist ♰

As the sun casts its golden rays over the quiet outskirts of town, a grim discovery awaits the two men. The body of Jessica Valdez, the young girl reported missing from their neighboring town, lies lifeless in a shallow ditch. Javier stands beside Sheriff Leighton, their expressions grave as they survey the scene before them.

Reporters and curious onlookers have gathered, drawn by the spectacle of flashing lights and the somber atmosphere. A small group of people whisper amongst themselves, their hushed tones mingling with the distant sound of camera shutters clicking.

Romeo’s authoritative presence looms beside him, a pillar of strength in the face of another tragedy. His eyes narrow as they push through the gathered crowd, commanding respect and order in the chaotic scene.

They duck beneath the yellow crime scene tape, ignoring the questions being hurled at them by the press.

“Are there any indications of a motive for this murder?” 

“Is this connected to the similar incidents in the area recently?”

“Is there anything the public can do to assist with the investigation?”

Javier’s stomach churns with sorrow as he takes in the sight. The body lies face down and sprawled in the dirt. He clenches his jaw, steeling himself against the wave of frustration threatening to overwhelm him.

Another failure on their behalf and all he can think about is the kiss shared between him and Paloma.

“Talk to us, Cecelia.” 

“Well, at first glance: the body is still fairly warm so she was alive a few hours ago. It looks like she was held captive somewhere due to the bruising on her wrists and ankles. There are signs of malnourishment and she has smaller injuries scattered throughout her body. I won’t know more details until I do the autopsy.” The coroner answers before continuing,” Her chest is completely slashed through, just like all the others. Still our guy. Or girl–– you never know nowadays.” 

Javier’s jaw flexes out of exasperation, mirroring the heavy sigh that escapes the sheriff’s lips. The weight of this repeated revelation settles over them like a suffocating blanket, casting a shadow over their efforts to uncover the truth.

Despite their tireless pursuit of justice, they find themselves no closer to catching the culprit or unraveling the mystery shrouding these towns. It’s fucking infuriating. 

Amidst the tangled threads of his personal life, Javier has momentarily lost sight of his purpose for being here. He has been too immersed in his own character transformation and entanglement with Paloma, overlooking the harrowing reality unfolding around him: innocent women continuing to fall victim to brutal, senseless violence.

The gravity of his oversight has a mixture of guilt and despair settling deep within his chest. 

Javier prides himself on his prowess, his ability to navigate the most intricate of cases and weather the toughest of storms. As a seasoned field agent with a string of accolades to his name (some undeserved, others very well deserved), he’s faced down challenges that would make others quiver.

Yet here he stands, feeling utterly impotent in the face of this whodunit in the confines of a sleepy town.

It gnaws at him, this sense of inadequacy, like a persistent itch he can’t scratch. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, a humbling reminder of the unpredictable nature of crime and the limits of his own expertise.

He needs to be better.

“What’s interestin’, though, is this,” She stands, motioning for the two men to follow her and they share a look before wordlessly complying. Cecelia hands them both a pair of latex gloves, instructing them to put them on.

They make it a few feet away from Jessica’s body and that’s when Javi sees it.

“Is that vomit?” 

Cecelia nods, “It is. I’m betting it’s hers. The interestin’ bit isn’t that she vomited–– but the contents. Take a look. Tell me what you see.” 

Javier is the first to kneel with Romeo looking over his shoulder. He eyes the evidence, pushing his aviators to the top of his head, making out the larger chunks in the grossly colored bile.

He can’t discern what it is right away and Cecelia encourages him to use his hands, which has him looking at her ludicrously and muttering how gross this shit is in Spanish before doing as suggested.

Poking his latex clad fingers in the mess, Javi analyzes the contents and that’s when he sees a symbol marked in ink on one of the scraps.

“It’s flesh. Human flesh.” 

Shit. He sees it now, the mark is a tattoo and he quickly barks out an order to have one of the lingering deputies come take pictures of it.

“Son of a bitch is feedin’ people… people. Would explain Nina Thorton’s missin’ leg. What the fuck is goin’ on here?” The sheriff sounds defeated and Javier just remains silent as he mulls over all this new information that’s been revealed.

Kidnapped, held hostage, fed human flesh, murdered, dumped.

All the other victims up until now have only been taken then killed. None of them held captive for long. Not all of them consuming flesh.

But then there’s Nina and her postmortem severed leg.

Fuck, the answer is right there, interwoven in the intricacies and lack of details in the cases. 

No more fucking around, no more helping girls sneak back inside their homes, no more distractions. He has to focus on doing his job.

He will catch who did this, he will prove himself to be qualified to do what he was brought here to do.

Javier remains kneeled and deep in thought as Romeo and Cecelia continue on with their observations. He looks around to study their surroundings, wondering if there is anything else that is right in front of him that he cannot see.

“Three outta five have been brunettes around the same age. I think that’s something worth considering now,” Javier breaks up the conversation betweens the sheriff and coroner, both of them turning to look at him as he stands from his kneeled position and begins to take off the gloves,” Seems like they found their type. There’s got to be a purpose for the consistent victimology.” 

They’ve migrated over to Jessica’s body now, both men doing last minute look overs before she is transported back to her hometown for her parents to identify and for Cecelia to preform the autopsy.

When a deputy comes over to take the last bits of photo evidence, he looks sickly but Javier ignores it. It’s not until her body is turned upright, exposing her mauled chest, that has the younger officer hurling over and throwing up, some of it landing on Romeo.

“God fuckin’ damn it, Andrews, spew that shit elsewhere. Fuck, not only are you contaminatin’ the crime scene but you got it all over my damn pants.” 

The sheriff goes on a tangent, chewing the officer out and threatening to suspend him for two weeks with no pay. It’s harsh, Javier will admit, but he doesn’t say anything, remaining stoic with his arms crossed against his chest as he watches it unfold.

Eventually, everyone trickles out. Even the nosey reporters and townies. Javier wants to stay, walk around the area to see if anything else was left behind. Maybe something was dropped or buried nearby, and while they had assured him that others have already done a thorough search–– he’d feel more comfortable if he did it himself.

“Ya mind stoppin’ by my place so I can change? Kid ruined these.” Romeo’s gruff voice has Javier losing his train of thought, too engrossed in looking out into the vast area of the woods as the sun slowly begins to set. 

Right, they arrived together, driving from the station in Javier’s cruiser.

“Sure.” He replies plainly. His plans for the evening now include getting Romeo situated so that he can come back here and investigate all on his own. He might even drive to Fayette to retrieve the autopsy from Cecelia as soon as she completes it.

With the Leighton home being on the other side of town, this gives the two men time to talk the case over; going over all that they know and all that they’ve discovered. Romeo confides in Javier about feeling inadequate about the way he’s doing his job and, in a turn of events, Javier does the same. In his own way.

The mutual understanding is a relief, though the guilt of his kiss with Paloma is palpable and it makes Javi feel like a fraud.

Across from him is a man who has extended nothing but kindness and trust, offering camaraderie and a sense of belonging. Yet, despite this, Javier found himself drawn to his daughter in a way that was both exhilarating and forbidden.

It feels wrong, achingly so. A bitter realization that despite their mutual longing, their connection can never be fully realized. It’s a harsh wake up call: if he truly wants to better himself, he must shed his bad habit of losing himself in women and distance himself from her.

What a discomforting prospect, the inevitable separation. But he knows it’s the only way forward. He understands that in time, they will both resign themselves to the reality of their infatuation.

It’s a familiar ache, this sense of inevitability that haunts his romantic endeavors like a relentless specter. Javier knows the drill all too well; it’s not his first rodeo in navigating the treacherous terrain of severing emotional ties.

His love life feels like a series of missteps, a cursed labyrinth from which there’s no escape. Despite the initial allure of each new romance, he’s come to anticipate the eventual descent into disappointment. No matter how promising the beginning, the journey always seems to lead to the same desolate destination.

With him hurting them beyond measure.

Fuck the idea of reinventing himself here. He can find peace and monotony anywhere else.

Javier will follow through with his responsibilities, and the second he’s able to peel out of Seminary–– he will, leaving her behind as a bittersweet memory. A beautiful yet unattainable dream that he will carry with him for years to come.

As they pull in to the Leighton residence, he sees the woman that lives in his head perched up on the fence that surrounds the immediate area. Her baggy jeans are hanging low, exposing the sheer fabric of her underwear. She turns as she hears the sound of a car approaching, and her lips pull into a smile once she sees who it is.

Paloma fully expected to wake up the following day filled with regret and plagued by a hangover. The only thing she experienced was the latter, but it had quickly been nursed by a greasy breakfast and some yard work.

Javier had kissed her back, that was enough to feed into her delusions that he does want her. All inhibitions have been dropped, she’s prepared to lay herself out for him–– to tell him that she’s wanted him since the moment they met.

It might seem premature, an impulsive plunge into the uncertainty of his reaction to her feelings, but the tender memory of their shared kiss eclipses all rational thought. She finds herself irresistibly drawn to the possibility of something more, unable to resist the pull of her emotions.

His touch still lingers on her skin. His hands tracing the curves of her body with a hunger that left her breathless. She can still feel the way he had grabbed her ass then gripped onto her hips, pulling her closer to him.

But it was his mouth that left the strongest impression. His tongue had explored the depths of hers, tasting and teasing her with a ferocity that made her feel alive.

In that moment, she had felt desired, cherished, and wanted. It was a feeling that she hadn’t realized she craved so badly until last night. She knew that she would never be able to forget that kiss and the way it had made her feel.

She’s giddy, her excitement bubbling up like fizzy soda, reminiscent of the first time she ever kissed a boy. Except Javier isn’t a boy–– he’s a man. A man whose expertise and skill are a potent aphrodisiac, heightening her arousal to levels she never thought possible.

She’s been hot for him all day, even touched herself to the memory of his soft lips, the tickle of his mustache, against hers then imagining them everywhere else. The mere thought of it is enough to send her heart racing, and she knows that nothing will satisfy her until she has him in her arms again.

Romeo gets out the car, muttering that he’d be right back and Javi opts to stay put. He does not want to speak to her, knowing that the second he gazes into those beautiful brown eyes–– he’d buckle. He needs to build animosity between them; it’s the only way for them to definitively be able to separate from one another.

But she doesn’t make it easy, of course. Because the second her father is inside, she’s practically skipping over to the driver’s side of the cruiser.

“Hello officer. Here to bring me in for all those crimes I committed last night?” She teases as she leans her forearms against the rolled down window, the cowgirl hat perched on her head complimenting her so well.

Javier swallows thickly, taking a lengthy drag of the familiar cigarette between his lips. He can’t outright ignore her so he decides to be short instead.

“M’not here for games, Paloma.” 

She’s taken aback by his tone, her smile faltering.

“Well excuse me for tryin’ to make conversation. Wasn’t aware that you’re in a mood today.” 

There’s a pause despite her attempt to add a teasing tone to her words to lighten him up. It falls flat.

“And I’m not looking to have a conversation. You can go.” 

Her brows cinch together at his dismissal, this is not how she was expecting for this to go.

“What’s goin on’? Is this because we… because of the kiss last night?” She lowers her voice towards the end, red blooming across her cheeks but she keeps her composure.

“Jesus,” Javier chuckles humorlessly, shaking his head. It sends a sharp pang through her heart.” Why do you always think that’s the fuckin’ problem whenever I don’t want to talk to you? For someone who claims to be a grown woman all the time, you sure as shit don’t act like it.” 

She stills, the buoyant confidence that had propelled her toward him evaporating in an instant, replaced by a wave of hurt at his unexpected chilliness. What has gotten into him?

“Drop it and move on, Paloma. We just found Jessica Valdez’s body dumped out in a ditch. S’not the time to be hung up on a damn kiss.” 

The sound of the screen door shutting close breaks her away from him and the trance she’d seemingly gone into. Another victim, another tragedy to confront… and here she is acting like a smitten teenaged girl.

The urge to cower and crawl into herself, to surrender to the overwhelming embarrassment and sorrow, threatens to engulf her entirely. She remains silent, fighting back the surge of frustrated, angry tears as she pushes off the car and trudges back toward the house.

Javier exhales heavily once she strides away without a word, feeling a weight settle on his shoulders. He had braced himself for a snide remark or some form of verbal retaliation, but her silent departure was far more impactful.

“I’ll be home late. Don’t wait up.” Her father murmurs as he passes her, planting a tender kiss atop her head. He lingers there for a moment but she doesn’t question it, knowing it’s because of what they found today and she doesn’t even mind that he hasn’t told her about it.

As he breaks away, she conjures up a semblance of a genuine smile, masking her turmoil, and nods before he affectionately pinches her nose and continues on his way.

She doesn’t look back, she doesn’t cry or go inside–– instead she picks up her discarded gardening gloves and proceeds to channel her energy into the simple act of mowing the grass.

She finds herself alone at the open bar as the party continues in full swing. It’s been days since Jessica’s death, and the tense conversation she had with Javier still lingers in her mind.

“Drop it and move on, Paloma.” 

Unlike the last time they went without speaking, there is much more tension between them now. The worst part about it is having to act as if nothing is wrong in the presence of her father.

No daddy, everything’s fine! It’s not like I threw myself at your co-worker not once, but twice and both times he made me feel like a fucking idiot!

She lets out a disdainful sigh, her fingers curling around the glass containing her coveted cherry root beer since she’s decided to part ways with alcohol and any other substance for the time being.

The two men are busy mingling with other guests and have been since the moment they arrived. Despite her efforts to divert her gaze elsewhere, her eyes keep involuntarily drifting towards Javier’s broad figure.

The event had called for formal attire, so when he strode in wearing a meticulously tailored all-black suit, her breath caught in her throat. The sharp lines of his outfit, coupled with the crispness of his button-down and the matching tie, made her momentarily forget why she was so upset with him. He looked too damn handsome.

It’s brutal how the things we desire most often seem to radiate the brightest when they’re just out of reach.

Observing him mingle effortlessly with others is entertaining. Contrary to her expectations, he appears completely at ease in this bustling social setting, a far cry from the disdain he expressed for large gatherings that morning in his kitchen.

He’s acting a lot more extroverted and… smile-y. It pisses her off as much as it melts her heart.

They make their way over to her and she makes a point to not even look in his direction. Though now she’s caught between her father and Javier as they order another round of drinks. 

It really doesn’t help that they’re shoulder to shoulder. The heady aroma of his cologne, laced with the familiar tang of cigarette smoke and the faint hint of whiskey, infiltrates her senses, making it impossible to outright ignore him.

Javier Peña is like a blazing beacon and she’s the foolish moth drawn inexplicably closer to his flame. But she knows all too well the danger of getting too close, like a moth singed by the heat, the allure of his brightness can be killer.

Javier had assumed that with news of Jessica being found dead, their attendance to this party wouldn’t be mandatory.

Well, he thought wrong. It is a cruel reminder of how life goes on, even when tragedy strikes.

Another dead girl, another over-the-top party.

Which is why he’ll give it an hour–– tops–– to shake whoever’s hand and meet whoever else, then he’d leave. It’s a simple plan, the only thing making it difficult for him is his proximity to the woman he’s desperately trying to cut ties with.

She looks so beautiful tonight, donning a calf length simple black dress that hugs all her curves just right. 

“There they are! My Law and Order! Y’all keepin’ the townsfolk in line?” The boastful voice of Mayor Jonah Abbott draws near and Javier suppresses the urge to roll his eyes.

Foolish of him to think he wouldn’t have to interact with the titular birthday boy tonight.

He greets both men with a firm handshake, and when his attention turns to her; Javier has to drown the subtle spark of frustration with his drink at the way his eyes rake over her body.

“And of course, Miss. Paloma. They say a smile is worth a thousand words, but yours? It’s worth a million dreams.” He brings her hand up to his lips to plant a kiss against her knuckles and all she does is offer him a polite smile. Here we go…

“Mr. Abbott—” 

“Jonah, sweetheart. Been tellin’ you to call me that for years now.” 

Her smile threatens to twitch out of annoyance, “Jonah. Happy Birthday. Thank you for invitin’ us to your home.” 

“Always a pleasure to have you ’round. I heard about your performance up in Dallas. Shame I missed it. Woulda loved to hear that beautiful voice of yours and seen you up on that stage.” 

Javier can’t help the subtle grunt he emits at the mayor’s overt flirtation, causing for her to just briefly glance up at him with a bemused flash crossing her stare.

The familiarity of Jonah’s behavior strikes a chord within him. Once upon a time, Javier was just like this–– an arrogant charmer with a penchant for flirting with anything in a skirt. Standing here amidst the other man’s smooth talk, he sees through the facade with clarity born of experience.

It’s a performance, an act to charm his way in between Paloma’s legs, though Javi can clearly see that she’s not falling for it. Does Romeo notice it too, he wonders? Or is he blinded by the mayor’s charisma, unable to see that this man clearly wants to sleep with his daughter.

Then again, Javier’s opinion on this is irrelevant and invalid since he too has been in the same predicament since meeting her. At least he didn’t do it blatantly in front of the sheriff’s face.

Or, in a turn of events, perhaps Romeo doesn’t give a damn. Jonah Abbott presents himself as a viable candidate to be with his daughter; a young politician with deep pockets and a keen interest in her.

Javier can’t shake off the mental picture of the man’s wedding ring adorning her finger, of her transforming into the perfect, submissive wife, tending to the household and filling this place with snot nosed kids. But such a scenario doesn’t align with her fiery and headstrong nature. She’s far too independent and spirited to succumb to the confines of domesticity, particularly for a man like Jonah.

Then again, why the fuck does he care?

“Well as you know, I do two shows every weekend at The Whiskey Fox. Could always stop by and see me and the band.” 

“A busy man like myself always has a full schedule. Though I reckon I should make some time to be out in the community. Wouldn’t hurt to stop by for dinner and a show.” 

He winks at her and of course he does it when her father turns to order himself another drink. Javier’s jaw flinches.

“Now Romeo, why have you been keepin’ this badass motherfucker hidden from me? I knew we had someone new joinin’ the force but I didn’t think it’d be the Javier Peña. A goddamn American hero— right here in Seminary, Texas!” 

As Jonah begins his praises, pairing them with a harsh slap to his shoulder, Javier remains cool and calculating. He refuses to be swayed by empty compliments.

Meanwhile, she breathes a silent sigh of relief as the spotlight shifts away from her, and she finds it amusing at how everyone seems to talk about Javier.

A hero. A true patriot. Such a brave soul for fightin’ the war on drugs on Uncle Sam’s behalf.

If only they knew the truth––if they had even a glimpse of the darkness he’s had to face, they wouldn’t be so quick to idolize him.

The label of hero, bestowed upon him since the demise of Escobar, sits uneasily on his shoulders. The adulation feels like a burden he never asked for, a title he never wanted. It’s a reminder of the complexities of his past, the mistakes he’s made, and the ghosts that continue to haunt him. Javi despises the word, resenting the way it overshadows his true self and the countless sins he harbors in silence.

“Gotta keep ’em humble. Keeps the head on straight.” Romeo banters back, pulling one of those haughty, rich men laughs from the mayor. 

She cringes at the pretentiousness echoing in the air.

The men break out into small talk leaving her feeling awkward as she swirls the almost fully melted ice around the empty cup. It’s not until Jonah is getting ready to move on to a new set of guests that the attention is turned back to her.

“And you, pretty girl, owe me a song. Specifically that one Linda Ronstadt song from the Fourth of July barbecue last year. Remember? S’only fair… consider it a birthday gift from you to me.” 

Despite her inner discomfort, she maintains a face of cheerfulness, though her stomach sinks with apprehension at his request. Memories of the barbecue flood her mind, vivid recollections of his relentless pursuit despite her repeated, albeit polite, refusals.

The word ’no’ is on the tip of her tongue, but knowing all too well the persistence he’s exhibited before; she succumbs to the weight of the occasion—his birthday—and the anticipation in his eyes.

“Blue Bayou, I remember. Does the band know it?” She inquires, her gaze flickering towards the live band stationed near the open area of the dance floor where a throng of people sway to the music.

She’s secretly hoping that they don’t, but the song is very popular so her hope dwindles.

“If they don’t, they will. I’ll introduce you when it’s time.” 

With a tight and forced smile gracing her lips, she simply replies, “Okay,” accompanied by a subtle nod. His wicked grin spreads larger, almost daring Javier to react by punching him square in the jaw.

Regardless of how he feels towards her and their situation, it irks him to no end how this man blatantly disregards her boundaries.

Her body language screams apprehension, evident to anyone observant enough. However, Mayor Abbott is too fixated on persuading her to comply with his wishes to take notice. It’s apparent that he’s not accustomed to hearing the word ’no’.

Javi just holds his tongue, an insult threatening to slip out, as he finishes his drink with a practiced air of nonchalance.

The mayor finally says his goodbyes before walking away and her shoulders drop instantly.

“Guess I owe ya twenty bucks.” Romeo mutters, digging into his suit pocket for his wallet. 

The laugh she gives, though slight, simultaneously soothes and torments his heart.

Damn it all— this is going to be torture but he must endure.

“She bet that he was gonna pull somethin’ like this before leavin’ the house. I was dumb enough to think he wouldn’t.” He explains to Javier as he slips his daughter the twenty dollar bill which she slyly stuffs under the fabric of her dress by her chest.

The action, seemingly simple, is so hot to him.

“How many times do I have to say m’not a damn show pony that does tricks whenever it’s asked? He’s so lucky that I’m polite and that it’s his birthday— If not I woulda told him to shove it—-” She doesn’t finish her sentence as they’re approached by a group of people that she doesn’t recognize nor care for.

She feels like an afterthought as they bombard the men with questions about the recent cases and other related topics, so she takes that as her cue to leave, ordering another mocktail before slipping away towards the dance floor.

She is fully prepared to turn her brain off to enjoy some semblance of normalcy before she’s thrown back in to the confusing pit that is her current status with the former DEA agent.

Attempting to convince herself that she’s enjoying the moment, she sways to the lively rhythm of the music, lost in her own solitary dance. A few partygoers approach her asking to join her which she declines; peeved by all the unwanted attention she’s getting.

This isn’t even her party. She holds no merit here.

Javier only catches glimpses of her from his peripheral, engrossed in a conversation with a man who remembers him from his sheriff days in Laredo, before he left for Colombia. The discourse drones on, punctuated by forced laughter and idle pleasantries. Each word falls flat, devoid of substance, yet Javier remains steadfast. Anything to keep him and his mind away from her.

Suddenly, the screeching sound of microphone feedback reverberates off the opulent walls of the ballroom-style space and she winces at noise.

“Excuse me, sorry–– I’m not very good with these things.” The man of the hour apologizes, his voice crackling through the speakers. She inwardly curses, anticipating what’s to come next. Setting her now-empty glass down on one of the nearby tables, she smooths her hands along the velvety fabric of her dress, ironing out any wrinkles, and hastily fixes her hair as best as she can without a mirror.

With a deep breath, she pushes down her nerves, summoning a smile to face the adversity when he introduces her. She steps onto the stage, the room erupting into scattered applause as she approaches the microphone.

♫

Midway through the song, to her surprise, Jonah joins her on stage, transforming the solo performance into an unexpected duet. Despite her inner discomfort, Paloma maintains a composed expression and tries to conceal any hint of surprise in her body language as he draws nearer.

Her unease heightens when he pulls her close against him, the heat of his body against hers as they sway to the rhythm of the music during the instrumental interlude of the country song. She reluctantly complies, her compliance more a result of avoidance of potential consequences than genuine willingness to dance with him.

The sight of his possessive grip on her waist, pulling her into an unwelcome dance, ignites a surge of vexation within Javier. He feels the tension in his muscles coil tighter with each step they take, their bodies moving in sync to the rhythm of the music. It’s unbearable to watch, the image of Paloma in Jonah’s arms twisting like a knife in his gut.

Without a word, Javier makes his escape, his strides purposeful as he navigates through the crowded room. He mutters a vague excuse to Romeo, the urgency in his voice betraying his need to flee from the suffocating scene unfolding before him.

Finally stepping out into the cooler night air, Javier takes a deep breath to soothe his frazzled nerves. He makes his way towards a gazebo that’s right by the large pond, putting as much distance as he can between himself and the party inside.

Leaning against the railing of the structure, he retrieves his trusty pack of cigarettes from his pocket, hands trembling slightly as he lights one. Each drag offers a fleeting moment of respite from the turmoil brewing inside him.

Inside, the song ends and she wastes no time in descending the stage, a sense of urgency propelling her movements. She refuses to linger, her mind consumed with the dread of another unwanted encounter with the mayor. Surveying the crowded room, she searches in vain for her father or Javier, but they’re nowhere to be found amidst the sea of faces.

Determined to escape the party atmosphere, Paloma makes a beeline for the exit, craving the solace of the summer night air. Stepping out onto the back porch, she inhales deeply, the breeze offering a welcome reprieve from the stifling heat of the event.

The night is alive with subtle sounds—toads croaking in the distance, the distant murmur of conversation—but it’s the solitary figure in the distance that captures her attention. With a sense of inevitability, Paloma finds herself drawn towards the silhouette, her heels clicking softly against the pavement as she descends the steps leading to the gazebo.

When she approaches, Javier remains steadfast, his gaze fixed on the tranquil expanse of water before him. The rhythmic puff of his cigarette punctuates the silence, a tangible barrier between them. Despite the tension hanging in the air, Paloma presses forward, her resolve unyielding as she closes the distance between them.

“We need to talk.” 

He stands like a statue, the weight of her words are heavy, yet he remains resolute in his silence, hoping that she’ll simply give up and leave him be. But Paloma is nothing if not persistent, her frustration bubbling over as she confronts him.

“Fuck, Javier will you at least look at me?! Acknowledge that I’m standin’ here tryin’ to speak with you?!” Her voice crackles with pent-up emotion, her southern accent thick as each word is laden with an intensity that he can’t ignore.

Reluctantly, he turns his head slightly, his gaze skimming over her figure with resignation. It’s a small concession, but it’s enough to stoke the fire of her frustration to new heights.

“I dunno why you’ve decided to be such a jerk to me all of the sudden,” she continues, her tone laced with a raw edge of hurt and confusion. “You’re tellin’ me that I’m bein’ childish a-and that I need to move on from the kiss but we both know it’s so much bigger than that. We’ve been dancin’ around it since the moment we met and I’m tired of pretendin’ like I don’t want you.” 

His eyes close briefly, a fleeting moment of vulnerability before he retreats behind his stoic facade once more. His fingers find their way to the bridge of his nose, pinching tightly as he struggles to find the right words to respond. But before he can form a coherent thought, she presses on, her voice trembling with the weight of her confession.

“I told myself I wouldn’t care if you didn’t feel the same way,” She admits, her voice growing softer now, tinged with a hint of desperation. “But that was before I got to know you. Before you somehow wriggled your way into my heart and overtook my mind entirely. We became friends, and I-I didn’t want to screw that up. But then we kissed, and in that moment, I knew you wanted me just as badly…” 

She draws closer, her hand reaching out tentatively to rest on his shoulder, the touch sending a jolt of tension through his body. It’s a silent plea, a manifestation of her vulnerability, and it’s all he can do to keep his composure still as her words wash over him like a hurricane.

“Every time I see you I don’t want to behave, Javi. I’m tired of being patient, so let’s pick up the pace and finally give in.” 

He flicks his finished cigarette out into the water, the ember trailing like a shooting star before disappearing into the dark abyss below.

Slowly, he turns to face her fully, the summer air crackling with tension as he takes in her determined stance. His hand shoots out, grabbing hold of the wrist that had just been resting on him, his dark eyes boring into hers in an act of intimidation.

But Paloma doesn’t back down, her gaze unwavering as she meets his stare head-on. Instead, she brings her free hand up to rest against his chest, the heat of her touch seeping through the fabric of his shirt as she steps closer, closing the gap between them until his dress shoes are toe-to-toe with her pointed heels.

He doesn’t make an effort to step away or decline her advances, his resolve crumbling in the face of her determination. Her words have jumbled him up completely, the sudden revelation of her feelings catching him off guard and leaving him reeling. The direct mention of what they’ve been indulging in for the past few months digs into his achilles’ heel—his tendency to fall in love in the damndest of times.

He stares down into her eyes, a storm of conflicting emotions raging wildly. The lust swirling in her gaze stirs something primal and raw within him. Any rational part of his brain seems to shut down in that moment, his thoughts consumed by the overwhelming desire to kiss her again, to lose himself in the exhilarating whirlwind of emotions that she evokes from him.

“It’s obviously insane, m’not a fucking idiot I understand the repercussions…. but we both know what we want, so why don’t we…” She whispers, tilting her head up until their lips brush against one another.

“Why don’t we fall in love?” 

It’s not clear who makes the first move, but their lips are interlocked in a passionate kiss—a fierce collision of desire and pent-up longing that surpasses the one they had previously shared. Paloma’s hand on his chest clenches the fabric of his shirt while Javier relinquishes his grip on her wrist, his own hands rising to cradle her jaw in his palms.

The taste of the lingering cigarette smoke mingles with the faint bitterness of alcohol on his breath, a heady combination that heightens her desire. She moans softly into his mouth, her tongue intertwining with his in a desperate attempt to savor every fleeting moment before it inevitably slips away.

Javier, consumed by the intoxicating sensation, slowly walks her back until her back is against the sturdy pillar of the gazebo, his movements now possessive and urgent. He deepens the kiss, molding his body against hers as if to merge their souls into one.

Her touch is addicting, a bittersweet symphony that resonates in the depths of his bones. Despite the warnings screaming in the recesses of his mind, urging him to stop and pull away, he finds himself unable to resist the magnetic pull she exerts over him.

Breaking the kiss, Javier’s lips trail down the side of her mouth, blazing a trail of heated kisses along her jawline before descending to her neck. His teeth graze her delicate skin, resisting the urge to leave a trail of marks in their wake as his tongue traces a path along her neck and up to her earlobe, where he bites down gently.

“Is this what you wanted, nena? For me to shower you in my fucking attention?” He husks, his voice thick with desire and a hint of frustration. His words swim between them, a question laced with layers of longing and palpable need, as he continues to lavish attention upon her neck, each kiss and caress fueling the flames of their mutual desire.

Paloma just whines, arching herself into him as her thighs rub together to relieve the tension of arousal that is assaulting her core.

“Yes, Javi, that’s all I want. I want you to talk to me, to touch me, to make me feel good.” 

Her hands are now against his broad shoulders, fingers curling into the fabric of his suit jacket as she feels the muscles beneath tense at her touch. A low, guttural groan escapes his lips in response to her words, a primal sound that sends shivers down her spine.

“I can make you feel good, hermosa. Better than any fucking culero (asshole) in this town.” He murmurs, his voice dripping with possessiveness. With deliberate intent, Javi begins to hike up her long dress, the fabric yielding easily to his touch until it’s gathered at the top of her thighs, exposing her black, lacey panties. His hands roam lower, trailing a path of electricity along her skin until they find purchase behind her thighs, gripping the soft skin firmly as he effortlessly lifts her into his arms.

She wraps her legs around his waist, anchoring herself to him as he hoists her up against the solid pillar of the gazebo. She feels his hardness pressing up against her clothed cunt and it has a sharp pang of pleasure sprouting at her core, igniting a fierce heat to course through her entirely. His touch is addicting, sending waves of ecstasy rippling through her body as she surrenders to the intrinsic urgency of their shared horniness.

The pure conviction in his tone only adds to the intensity of the moment. She wants nothing more than to be completely ruined by this man. She wants to be his, and his alone.

Javier grinds his hips up, the friction between them firing up every nerve ending. Her pussy throbs with need, aching for more of his touch. She can feel every inch of him pressing against her, his hard cock straining against his pants, begging to be released.

As their bodies move in perfect harmony, she wraps her fingers in his hair, tugging at it lightly. His lips move from her neck and crash against hers, a wild, passionate kiss that leaves them both panting for air. It grows more frenzied, their teeth clashing together in a desperate and selfish need for more. She moans into his mouth, the sound sending a jolt of electric arousal straight to his cock. He grinds harder against her, his hips moving in rhythm with hers.

She can feel her orgasm building, a fierce heat blossoming at her pussy. Her whimpers turn to animated moans as she writhes against him. The last time she dry humped someone to completion had been way back in high school and that had been an overall embarrassment so it’s never something she revisited.

Not until now, with Javier who is making her feel like she’s the only girl in the fucking world.

His fingers expertly cup her breast, teasing her hardened nipple through the fabric of her dress. She arches her back, pressing her chest into his hand, silently begging for more. He takes the hint, groping her and squeezing it gently, relishing in the way she shudders.

Her eyes close in ecstasy as he continues to knead her tit. His other hand trails along her inner thigh, inching closer and closer to the heat between her legs. When he finally reaches her core, she gasps, her body trembling with need. He doesn’t touch her, instead he digs his fingers into the soft flesh of her thigh.

“If this is what you wanted so fucking bad then go ahead and take it, needy girl. Go on, make yourself cum by grinding that wet pussy all over me.” 

She mewls, throwing her head back as she feels her orgasm building. She’s such a sight to bear witness to, how her swollen lips part and his name slips from her tongue like a hymn, making his cock twitch.

Her wetness seeps through her flimsy thong, leaving a damp spot on the fabric of his dress pants. He can feel it seeping through the material and it drives him mad. He needs to be inside her, to feel her walls fluttering around his cock as they finally give in to each other…

But first, he wants to watch her unravel just like this.

“I’m close, Javi…” His lips hungrily devour the tender flesh of her neck again, making her eyes roll back as their hips continue to move at a sensual pace. The metallic zipper of his pants brushes against her sensitive clit, sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through her body. She can’t help but cry out in sweet surrender, her voice louder than before.

His large hand clamps over her mouth, preventing her screams from echoing out.

“Don’t get us caught, chiquita. Wouldn’t want your daddy comin’ out here and findin’ you like this–– all cockdrunk and begging to be fucked.” 

His dirty and abrasive words are like fuel to the flames of her impending climax, sending her spiraling out of control. Her rhythm stutters, her body writhing uncontrollably as she bites down on the skin of his palm as the orgasm overtakes her entirely.

All that can be heard is their heavy, shared pants. His hand falls from her mouth as she falls limp in his arms, her body jolting every now and again with the aftershock of her intense orgasm. 

She peppers tender kisses along the bare expanse of his jaw, silently berating him for having his shirt buttoned up for once and the pesky tie restricting her from licking and biting against the tantalizing skin of his neck and collarbone.

“Need… need to feel you, Javi, please.” She whines against his ear, her hands trailing down from his broad shoulders, over his chest, then down to his belt buckle. She can still feel the swell of him pressed up against her sopping cunt and despite just coming hard; she’s craving to feel all of him.

This is the pivotal moment where he knows he should exercise restraint, where the noble path of virtue beckons him to rise above the consuming tide of desire. To explain to her that they can and never will be anything but an unattainable fantasy.

But he doesn’t, instead Javi lets her untuck his dress shirt from his pants and helps her with unbuckling his belt.

“We shouldn’t do this, Paloma…” Is all he can say in an attempt to keep it from happening but she shushes him, her hand slipping beneath his boxers as she wraps her manicured fingers around his girth and begins to pump him slowly.

“Mierda,” He curses in Spanish, his forehead falling gently against hers as his eyes flutter close at the overwhelming feeling of her softer, smaller hand jerking him off. Her thumb glides over the tip, spreading his excessive precum over the length of his cock.

“But we want to… oh you’re so big Javi. Gonna be feelin’ you for days…” She sounds like something out of a wet dream and he simply can’t hold back any longer.

He instructs her to grab his wallet from his suit pocket and to retrieve the condom he keeps in there, receiving a playful eye roll from her but she doesn’t push her luck–– she needs him badly and she’d go absolutely feral if he decided to deny them both the pleasure of fucking.

His strong hold on her keeps them secure against the pillar, she rips the small package with her teeth then pushes his pants down enough to release his erection, rolling the latex on easily.

There’s a moment where suspension hangs in the air, both of them staring into each other’s lust blown eyes.

“Don’t think about it too much, please. Just fuck me.” 

Her insistence is such a turn on, spurring him into reaching down to ball up the thin layer of her panties before he yanks them off, the sound of the fabric tearing apart causing her to gasp. Stuffing the ruined material into his back pocket, he readjusts his hips so that the thick head of his cock presses up against her exposed and puffy folds.

“Such an impatient little thing, hermosa. I shouldn’t even give you what you want. Should just walk away and leave you here a desperate and wet mess.” 

Gripping onto the base of his cock with his free hand, Javier nudges it between her slit and teases her, the head repeatedly brushing against the pearl of her clit.

Her breath hitches, rolling her hips to entice him into entering her, “Please, Javi, I’ll do whatever you want just plea–– oh f-fuck!” 

He sinks into her pussy, leaning forward to bite down on her shoulder to keep his own sounds of pleasure at bay as he feels the way her fleshy walls contract around his cock, stretching her with how thick he is.

Her fingers return to intertwine themselves in his hair as he begins to set a delicious pace, fucking into her with a passion that’s making her see stars. The feeling of his teeth digging into her skin is an added stimulant to the already immense pleasure.

“Damn it you’re so tight. Feel so good wrapped around my cock, pretty girl. You satisfied now that I’m giving you what you want, huh?” He grunts out, nipping at her jawline as all she does is keen and moan, too overwhelmed with how good he’s making her feel. “Spoiled little thing, gonna fuck that right out of this tight little body. So you can learn, fuck, learn how not to be such a fucking pain in my ass.” 

She’s too wrapped up in the feeling of him brushing up against her cervix to fully process what he is saying against her skin. Their lips slant over each other as they kiss messily, the way he fucks her making her brain melt.

There’s no thoughts up there, just the feeling of him as he continues to break her open with his delicious cock.

His hands fall down to her waist, holding on tightly as he goes from languid thrusts to a quicker, more brutal pace as they chase their orgasms.

She’s glad that they’re far away enough to where no one can interrupt this moment, though the idea of there being an onlooker does entice her more than she’d ever admit. 

Her legs tighten around his waist, the pointed heel of her shoes digging into his backside as she feels a knot forming at the pit of her stomach, indicating that she isn’t far from coming undone.

“C’mon nena, be a good girl and let go,” His thumb finds itself being pressed against her soft lips and immediately she opens her mouth, licking around then sucking the digit and maintaining eye contact through it all. It has Javier grunting out a few expletives before letting his saliva coated thumb drop between them, rubbing tight circles against her clit.

This has her clenching around him and crying out, which causes a smirk to tug at his lips as he puts more pressure onto her clit.” Tan bonita así, toda lista para mi. (So pretty like this, all ready for me)” 

She tugs harshly at his hair at the sound of his Spanish, her arousal topples over and her second orgasm hits her like toppling bricks. She squeezes his cock tightly inside her, her legs an iron grip on his waist as she bites down harshly on her bottom lip, almost drawing blood, to keep her intense whimpers and moans from spilling out and drawing attention to them.

Satisfied that he’s made her unravel on him, Javier fucks her through her orgasm relentlessly until he’s spilling into the condom, burying his face in her neck, right where he can feel her pulse, and grazing the skin with his teeth. He wants to leave a mark, for her to walk around with evidence of him on her body but that’d be a wrong move atop of all the other wrong moves he’s made tonight.

Paloma breathes heavily, mind hazy as she tries to recollect herself from the throes of passion bestowed upon her by Javier Peña. They stay there, embraced in one another before he pulls out of her with a grunt and she whines at the loss of him.

Her legs unwrap from his waist as he tentatively sets her down, discarding of the condom into the water as he tucks himself back into his pants and she pulls her dress down, not even bothered by the fact that he ripped her underwear right off of her.

“That was a mistake.” 

His statement cuts through the night air and she’s already struggling to catch her footing on wobbly legs, the effect of being fucked hard and good.

“Javi––” 

“No, Paloma, I’m fucking serious.” He asserts, his voice taking on a sharp edge, landing like a heavy blow on her already rattled nerves.

“All that sentimental bullshit you were saying before… it means nothing to me. You’re just a distraction–– a pretty face that’s been keeping me from doing my damn job. Now, there’s another life lost, and instead of finding answers, I’m too busy babysitting you.” 

“Don’t you dare pin your incompetence on me, Javier,” She shoots back, her tone tinged with anger and frustration,” I’ve seen my father struggle with this bullshit for months now–– it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you. S’not my fault you’re not as clever as everyone thinks you are. All the praise you get for being such a fuckin’ hero and yet… look at you. Unable to meet the expectations.” 

She adjusts the thin straps of her dress back up her shoulder, wincing slightly as she brushes against the bite mark he accidentally left against her skin, knowing that she’s going to feel that atop of the soreness between her legs after this.

She braces herself for the inevitable discomfort that will follow, both physically and emotionally.

Javier’s jaw tightens, muscles rippling beneath his skin as he fights to maintain his composure. He knows better than to let her words get to him the way that they are.

This is exactly what they need, some intense fight to fully shatter the illusion of their involvement.

“Look at you, Paloma,” He sneers, his words dripping with contempt as he levels a scornful gaze at her. “Throwing yourself at me every chance you get like a whore. I used to pay for shit like this, but you? Oh, I didn’t spare a fucking dime. Giving it all up for free.” 

Her jaw drops, a surge of anger and indignation flooding her senses as his words cut through her like a knife. She raises her hand instinctively, intent on delivering a stinging rebuke in the form of a slap across his jaw. But before she can make contact, his grip tightens around her wrist, arresting her movement with an iron grip.

“Don’t be stupid, querida,” He mocks her, his voice laced with disdain as he delivers each word like a venomous dagger. “Now that I fucked you one good time: Leave. Me. Alone. How ’bout you go back inside and fraternize with the mayor. I’m sure he’s eager to give you all the male validation you’re clearly chasing after.” He tilts his head, glaring at her in contempt. “Better yet, run off to your junkie, criminal boyfriend; won’t be long before he knocks you up and you’re stuck living in a run down trailer park in this shitty fucking town.” 

Paloma’s heart shatters at his callous words, tears welling up in her eyes and streaming down her cheeks unchecked. She gazes up at Javier, but the man before her is no longer the sweet, charming figure she thought she knew. His eyes, once warm and inviting, now glint with coldness and malice, rendering him unrecognizable to her.

“Fuck you,” She spits, wrenching her hand free from his grip with a mixture of anger and hurt flashing in her eyes. Despite the tears welling up, she summons every ounce of defiance to shoot him a disdainful glare. “You’re a piece of shit, Javier Peña.” 

With those final words, ones he’s heard a plethora of times before, she whirls around, her footsteps echoing loudly on the wooden stairs as she races to the nearest bathroom.

Ignoring the throbbing ache between her legs, she finds solace in the confines of the lavish restroom, allowing herself to unleash the torrent of tears pent up inside. Feeling foolish and utterly used, she wonders how she could have ever fallen for a man like him.

Meanwhile, Javier is left grappling with the sight of her heartbreak now etched into his memory. Pushing aside his own conflicted emotions, he knows he can’t afford to let their tangled affair distract him any longer.

This is what you both needed. He reminds himself, looking out into the water as the silver moonlight reflects off of the surface. Harsh, but she’ll get over it.

With a resigned sigh, he retrieves another cigarette, the familiar ritual offering a fleeting sense of calm amidst the storm raging about.

[pygmi-cygni]

hey! hope your having a good day/night. i was just wondering how to make the sentences blend together better? and also any tips on like how to go into more detail? sorry if that sounds stupid lol. sorry if you already wrote about this!

I did touch on this on my writing blog @pygmi-says-hi (which has all of my writing advice/writing tips, go check it out!) on this post but I can also write about it here!

As far as details go - here are some do's and don'ts :)

don't: be too flowery.

too many adjectives or adverbs gums up the sentences and makes it hard to read. If you are trying to convey something's appearance while also describing important plot details, it's important to keep it streamlined and informative. The thesaurus is gonna be your best friend.

Keep the descriptions concise and separate from the plot sentences. My rule of thumb (not the law, do what you want, this is my process) is to keep action descriptions (fight scenes or movement montages) short and sweet, and spend more time on the exposition paragraphs. That way, the readers know what the setting looks like beforehand so that the action can still be fast-paced and easy to follow.

don't: worry about the little things

naturally, humans fill in the blanks with their imagination. You don't have to go into every nook and cranny to provide a well-rounded setting. Atmospheric writing is a way to convey the accurate mood/vibe of a setting that avoids 'white room syndrome' (aka not having any description and feeling lost without a location). Get the basics outlined and move on.

do: keep it consistent

overdescribing certain places/things and underdescribing others is not a good way to go. maybe your story works best with minimal setting and heavy emotions. or it has a sumptuous environment with richly detailed clothing and merchandise, but the plot is slowly meandering. as long as it conveys your story well, that's all that matters.

that being said - keep the style consistent. the audience will get confused if you hyperfixate on something and then ignore other things of potentially more importance.

do: prioritize

what really needs describing? what could do without the adjectives? outlining this reduces the 'heavy' feeling of paragraphs bogged down with setting descriptions.

do: maintain the vibe

group the descriptions and details together. find synonyms with a similar feel to them. example:

slimy, viscous, gelatinous, gluey, oily all kind of have the same vibe, but slippery, slick, gluey, sticky have a different vibe. the first set of words feel gross and alien. the second (to me) feel like an earthier description.

they might mean the same thing, but the sound and feel of the word has a different tone. play around and see what works!

xox hope this helps!

[intothegenshinworld]

 💛*₊“𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬”

a/n: this is my first post of the ebg! these can be read as x reader but will have some selfship lore bits hidden in them! || !! tw for the spiders in his cave ig TuT

You have to thank the Acting Grand Master for giving you the opportunity to meet Albedo.

Sure, at first you had cursed her for giving you the task of sending a letter to 'a camp' on Dragonspine (what a vague location), but if you had denied her request you would've probably never met the alchemist.

'A camp' had been an accurate description to describe Albedo's home. 

'Home' would've been a compliment too grand for the dump he lived in. 

Your eyes unwillingly observe the area he occupies. A sleeping bag is spread out on the ground, next to it a makeshift fire, and the remaining space of the cave is filled with lab equipment and books. 

You wonder if all alchemists lived like this. 

"I apologise," Albedo's voice echoes through the cave, "I hadn't expected any visitors."

You force your eyes away from a spider that scurries away from the sudden noise. With a bit of luck, your eyes land on his turquoise ones. 

He is pretty.

"It's alright. If anything, I feel like I should be the one to apologise for bothering you." An awkward chuckle escapes your lips.

You remember the alarmed expression he had moments ago. Albedo had been so immersed in his experiment that he hadn't heard you approach. By the time you greeted him, he nearly made the concoction in his hands explode by mistake.

"Don't worry about it." Albedo puts some wood onto the already burning fireplace, giving it a longer lifespan. "Please, warm up. I'll make something to drink in the meantime."

And while you weren't too happy to sit in the company of god-knows how many spiders, the warmth from the fire wasn't something you were going to refuse. Not after spending nearly a full day climbing Dragonspine on your own.

And with the help of both the fire and the hot chocolate he had given you, your body temperature returned to normal. 

"So," Albedo sits down next to you. "I assume you're here for the Knights of Favonious."

You nod. No sane person would visit Dragonspine without good reason. Of course you'd be here for buisness. 

When you remember the letter Jean had given you, you reach in your bag to retrieve it. 

"The Acting Grand Master had requested me to hand this to you. It seemed important, though, I don't know much aside of that."

His hand takes the letter from yours. 

You observe how his eyes move over the words and his expressions change. Albedo seems to think for a moment, and then he stands up. 

"I'll draft a reply. It's getting dark already, so I believe it'd be better for you to stay tonight."

Your expression sours.

Albedo continues after he carefully observes you. "Don't worry, I have a spare sleeping bag."

"One filled with spiders?"

The snarky comment escapes your lips before you realise you had said it out loud, and your hands fly up your lips in surprise.

And as if it couldn't get worse, 

Albedo laughs.

The sound is warm and gentle, and your cheeks flush in embarrassment.

"You're afraid of spiders?"

"Well. You're obviously not, it seems."

His smile remains on his face. "If it comfort you, I'll give the sleeping bag a thorough check and remove any spiders in the area before you'll fall asleep."

"I suppose spiders are the lesser evil compared to the hillicurls on the mountain." You mutter, remembering how the monster would get more active in the dark.

In the end, you agree with him. 

While Albedo, the chief alchemist, writes a reply to the letter he received, you lay in the warmth of the spider-free sleeping bag while the fire keeps you warm.

© intothegenshinworld. This content above is made for the genshinblr ebg of October 2023, hosted by @i23kazu! Because of this, content like these will contain selfship lore. After the ebg, the blog will return to its usual content!