#i can call myself a scientist right? RIGHT????

[grison-in-space]

you know what else fucks me up about the US election? one of the things that has left me reeling in bewilderment and grief this month?

I'm a scientist, y'all.

That means that I am, like most American research scientists, a federal contractor. (Possibly employee. It's confusing, and it fucks with my taxes being a postdoctoral researcher.) I get paid because someone, in the long run ideally me, makes a really, really detailed pitch to one of several federal grant agencies that the nation would really be missing out if I couldn't follow up on these thoughts and find concrete evidence about whether or not I'm right.

Currently, my personal salary is dependent on a whole department of scientists convincing one of the largest and most powerful granting agencies that they have a program that is really good at training scientists that can think deeply about the priorities of the agency. Those priorities are defined by the guy who runs the agency, and he gets to hire whatever qualified people he wants. That guy? The Presidential Administration picks that one. That's how federal agencies get staffed: the President's administration nominates them.

All of the heads of these agencies are personally nominated by the president and their administration. They are people of enormous power whose job is to administer million-dollar grants to the scientists competing urgently for limited funds. A million dollars often doesn't go farther than a couple of years when it's intended to pay for absolutely everything to do with a particular pitch, including salaries of your trainees, all materials, travel expenses, promoting the work among other researchers, all of it—so most smart American researchers are working fervently on grants all the time.

The next director of the NIH will be a Trump appointee, if he notices and thinks to appoint one. NSF, too; that's the group that funds your ecology and your astroscience and your experimental mathematics and physics and chemistry, the stuff that doesn't have industry funding and industry priorities. USDA. DOE, that's who does a lot of the climate change mitigation and renewable energy source research, they'll just be lucky if they can do anything again because Trump nigh gutted them last time.

Right now, I am working on the very tail end of a grant's funding and I am scurrying to make sure I stay employed. So I'm thinking very closely about federal agency priorities, okay? And I'm thinking that the funding climate for science is going to get a lot fucking leaner. I'm seeing what the American people think of scientists, and about whether my job is worth doing. It's been a lean twelve years in this gig, okay? Every time the federal government gets fucked up, that impacts my job, it means that I have to hustle even harder to get grants in that let me support myself—and, if I have any trainees, their budding careers as well!—to patch over the lean times as much as we can.

So I've been reeling this week thinking about how funding agency priorities are going to change. I work on sex differences in motivation, so let me tell you, the politics reading this one for my next pitch are going to be fun. I'm working on a submission for an explicitly DEI-oriented five year grant with a cycle ending in February, so that's going to be an exercise in hoping that the agency employees at the middle levels (the ones that know how to get things done which can't be replaced immediately with yes men) can buffer the decisions of those big bosses long enough to let that program continue to exist a little while longer.

Ah, Christ, he promised Health & Human Services (which houses the NIH) to RFK, didn't he? We'll see how that pans out.

I keep seeing people calling for more governmental shutdowns on the left now, and it makes me want to scream. The government being gridlocked means the funding that researchers like me need doesn't come, okay? When the DOE can't say fucking "climate change," when the USDA hemorrhages its workers when the agency is dragged halfway across the country, when I watch a major Texan House rep stake his career on trying to destroy the NSF, I think: this is what you people think of us. I think: how little scientists are valued as public workers. Why am I working this hard again?

This is why I described voting as harm reduction. Even if two candidates are "the same" on one thing you care about, they probably aren't the same level of bad on everything. Your task is to figure out the best person to do the job. It's not about a fucking tribalist horse race. A vote is your opinion on a job interview, you fucks. We have to work with this person.

Anyway, I'm probably going to go back to shaking quietly in despair for a little longer and then pick myself up and hit the grind again. If I'm fast, I might still get the grant in this miserable climate if I run, and I might get to actually keep on what I'm trying to do, which is bring research on sex differences, neurodivergence and energy balance as informed by non-binary gender perspectives and disability theory to neuroscience.

Fuck.

[lilybug-02]

Bill nye the science guy?

More like

uhhh

Lilybug the insect enthusiast

mic drop

(idk its 4 am and i've had a long night. My braincells are currently diminshing as i type this lol)

Hey! I love all science! ^w^ I am a Geoscientist now after all!

Learning more about the world is what us scientists do best :)

[caninecowboy]

24 days!

[imgae-insertshockedgasps-16]

humans are space orcs

imagine someone with chronic joint pain, whose dream their whole lives has been to go to space and meet the aliens and be a scientist and learn

so they look up the requirements as a kid and go "fuck."

they wouldn't make the cut.

their dreams are dashed. hopes ruined. lifelong dre destroyed.

except....

they've never really said a whole lot about their pain. they don't particularly like doctors, and they think that they've been managing just fine, so they never saw the point.

so maybe... maybe if they just don't say anything, they can make it to space.

they spend all of their time training. doing physical therapy exercises so that their joints aren't so loose, soaking up as much scientific and mathematical knowledge as they can, teaching themselves to push through the worst of it in pursuit of their dream.

and they make it.

they make it to space! it was gruelling, tortuous work, but they made it!

their first mission is an exploratory one, with a diverse crew which only has one other human.

they're thrilled.

they have dozens of alien friends and acquaintances. they spend hours learning and researching alien planets and cultures. it's everything they've ever wanted!

but

it's exhausting.

they're in more pain than they've ever been, more frequently than they ever have.

they keep up their exercises as best they can, but even those are often too much.

they smile when asked if they're alright, tell everyone that "i'm fine! just tired."

but they need a break. they can't imagine going or being sent back to earth, this is their home now, with these people, on this ship. but they don't know how much longer they can take this.

one day, on their day off, a fellow researcher comes and knocks on their door.

"are you here?"

"not today islith."

"but we've been called! there are some exciting new discoveries that need further cataloging and investigation, and carlmoth thought you would enjoy the task!"

"i can't today, islith."

"are you ill?"

"...kind of? but i'll be right as rain tomorrow. it's my day off anyhow."

"nonsense! you should go down to medbay!"

"i'm alright, i promise."

"you get out here right this minute or i'll report you to medbay myself!"

"no!" there's a series of crashes and thumps, and then they open the door.

"oh, you look awful. come on, you really must need medbay, what if you're contagious." islith tries to grab them but they shy away.

"i'm not contagious, i promise."

"how can you possibly know that? what if you picked it up from a sample, or, or, garfon has been sick recently! humans can't survive cerian sicknesses-"

"i didn't catch something from garfon, islith," they sigh and open the door wider. "come in and let me explain."

"alright, but if i think you should go to medbay afterwards then i'm taking you there."

"sure, islith."

islith enters, notices the piles of clothes, rumpled bedsheets, the lights are off and the port window shut.

"what's wrong?"

they sigh again, "my body doesn't work like it's meant to, islith."

islith is wildly alarmed, "and you said there was no need for medbay?!? come with me right now and-"

"no! i can't, islith, you don't understand."

"then explain it to me."

"i've... always been this way, although it's gotten worse as i've gotten older. my body, it just isn't built quite right, there's something wrong with it that makes it not work properly and hurt often."

"you're right, i don't understand. why can't you go to medbay?"

"i'd... be thrown off the ship."

"what?!?"

and so they tell islith a story about a young child whose dream was to touch the stars.

"and now, it's too late. i'd get in huge trouble for lying to the government, especially for so long."

"well- but- but humans are so resilient! you hear all the stories!"

"not every human is the same, islith. some of us are born disabled, and some of us get hurt in accidents, just like any other species."

"well, then, well there must be something we can do?"

they look up in shock, "we?"

"of course we, you ridiculous creature," islith said with a fond sigh. "you didn't think i'd leave you to suffer, would you?"

"but, you could get in so much trouble!"

"that's alright, i don't mind. what else are friends for? and, anyway, we don't have to tell your government, we can tell mine."

"but i'll-"

"we don't have any rules like that. any of us who are disabled can still manage in space just fine with the right support, and i bet you could too."

"i- islith- i don't-"

"don't worry, we'll all back you when it comes down to it. you're out teammate, our family. no one on this ship wants to watch you leave because of something you can't control. now come on, let's talk to glidlep in medical, she'll understand."

and for years, things continued on that way, until eventually it was an open secret that the human with the exosuit was disabled and not technically allowed onboard.

and down the line, when nasa found out and was furious, the entire ship and more stood by their side.

[r3ynah]

THE FAMILY OF BEAUTIES

The girls the boys they all like Carmen.

(In this scenario Carmen is the fentons).

I just want to headcanon, that the Fenton's have a ethereal type of beauty, not sexy or hot. Ethereal, like if you didn't know that they're a family of Mad scientist, a obsessive therapist and a dead boy. they could've passed as deity's.

And the amity park's citizens can and will totally agree, they might've disagree and fight for a lot of things but the only thing they can agree on was the Fenton's was down to earth beautiful.

Like Jack Fenton for example, He has built that can seemingly bench you without any hesitation, but a himbo at heart, the greys of his hair compliments way it mixes with the black hair of his, if Jack isn't in his ghost hunting suit, he is pretty decent when it comes to his fashion sense, When Jazz first brought along her friends, the first thing they asked was if Jack was single, which caused Jazz to smack their heads individually with a newspaper.

And don't get me started with Madeline Fenton, because I cannot stop when it comes to her, My girl with her short straight Reddish-brown hair, looks like a masculine but also feminine beauty, Can and will bench you, if you have any ill intent towards her family, she came from a long line of riches if I say so myself. Tall as fuck, about 6'7 while Jack is 7'0. very elegant when it comes to fighting, that it looks like she's just dancing, Was titled as a Milf by Danny's classmate which made the boy groan in annoyance, Sam and Tucker calls out to Maddie and says "Mother is Mothering", just to get something out of Danny who looks at them with disgust knowing full well what they were trying to do. While Maddie is just happy for the kids to see her as a mother figure.

Now Jazz, My love, my girl. Her long Red hair that came down to her hips, and her blue eyes, made all the girls and boys in her college swoon, with her 6'4 figure she strutted down the halls with confidence, beauty and brains everyone would oh so called it, and her knowledge in martial arts didn't lessen her attractiveness, The humans and ghosts can agree with that delightfully.

And now her dearest sibling Danny, Danny is a nonbinary fuck that can gender envy anyone he meets, that's why he got bullied in the first place, he was too fucking beautiful and handsome at the same time, all the boys and girls of his school have atleast had a crush on him, He was the only cute boy there, what could they do? He stared at them with his icey colored eyes that made their legs tremble from the pressure, and that black hair that always seemed messy but in a good way. It didn't help when he got that lichtenberg scar, that ran up his neck and the side of his face. you should've seen him in P.E cause my guy got everyone staring at him.

And the Fenton family has fashion sense, if they really put their mind and soul into it, everytime they dressed up for a family reunion or just an outing it was a very sweet treat for everyone's eyes. like how it is right now.

The Amity parkers waved goodbye at the Fenton's as they went on and attended a gala they were invited to, it was supposedly because of the sudden rise and popularity of their works and how's it been helping the environment.

One citizen sighed as he looked at the car that family was driving as it slowly became smaller and smaller.

"You think they can handle Gotham, heard nasty thing bout that place." She questioned

"Girl, Gotham should be the one readying to handle them, that family may be beautiful, but their crazy." Her friend's answered

"well that does give them a more attractive look isn't it?"

"I hate how you're right."

__

The Gala the Fenton's went to certainly had an awkward atmosphere when they went inside, all the guest kept staring at them that it was starting to get creepy, did they overdress or underdressed, come on just walk towards start to talk or criticize them, because it's starting to get embarrassing for the family.

Gotham wasn't fucking prepared to meet the Fentons like as in, They had been awestrucked when the family walked in. A very tall man seemingly in his 40's with his hair gelled back, and a suit that fitted him too perfectly, gosh dang, even the homophobic guests couldn't help but stare, And then there was his Wife her straight her was curled and brushed out leaving a wavy effect that compliments her face shape, and that dress she was wearing was utterly gorgeous, fancy but also simple and mature, the heels certainly helped her height more and made her look more intimidating, The ladies blushed when she looks at them and smiles.

And don't get them started with the couples children, who looked adorable and elegant at the same time, The older sister had a aura that says: 'Im in your presence bow down' (And they would've if it was in a more private area due to the paparazzi's out the window). She wore a spaghetti strapped dress that had a slit on either side and was , making it more comfortable to move in for the girl, partnered by a white shawl made of silk, she had heels that also complimented he already tall stature, her hair was tied in a neat bun, with a few strands free to not make her face feel bare. And lastly the youngest everyone assumed, wearing a suit, double-breasted suit that was elegant and sophisticated it matched the way his hair is messed up for him to still look young, he was also wearing a black shawl that had specks of white making it look like stars. The family had a colour scheme of green, that made all gothamites present swoon, Including a certain family of bats.

(I might make a fanart of this later.)

[cypherscript]

The Ole Switcheroo.

The Justice League and the Justice League Dark are in need of some questions answered about the alarming numbers of tears in reality coming from this small nowhere town in Illinois and don’t seem to be stopping any time soon. So using every bit of summoning and containment magic the JLD have and the most prominent source of energy they could find in the city they decide to summon the owner of the energy. *** “And you’re sure this containment spell will hold whatever comes through,” Superman asks as he observes Zatanna and Constantine marking out the circle.

“Should, most beings from that dimension have very specific powersets but all of them include basic flight, invisibility and intangibility. Hence why the civilians of the city refer to them as ghosts.” Zatanna says as she finished her marking with a flourish. 

Batman grunts in response as he’s looking over data, J'onn focuses on Zatanna after she lists the powers, “I assume that is why I am here? Those powers are remarkably similar to Martian abilities.”

“Yes, should the being somehow escape we will need you to retrieve them if they become intangible.”

“Understood.”

“Ready John?”

“Let’s get this shiteshow started, luv.” John Constantine picks up a book and begins speaking in a voice of white noise and screams, the circle lights up an eerie green and wisping into the air before a flashing light reveals a white haired teen in a a jumpsuit floating in the air.

“What? How did I- Where am I?”

Batman steps forward, “That’s not important right, we just want to ask you a couple of questions about Amity Park.”

“Then I can leave?”

Several of the League Members share some looks before Batman answers, “If you aren’t a threat to this dimension.”

“Awesome, I can leave then.”

“That remains to be seen.” Zatanna cuts in, “First lets start with your name, can we have your name?”

“No, sorry but you can call me Phantom.” the teen chuckles at a joke he only knows.

“You can call me Zatanna then, the others are Superman, Batman, Constantine, and Martian Manhunter.”

Phantom perks up at the last name, “Wait, like a real Martian? I thought they died out a long time ago.”

“You know of us,” J’onn asks, perplexed.

“Yeah, there’s a few of you guys floating around the Zone,” Phantom shrugs before resuming looking at the circle, “Is this like a question circle? I couldn’t stop myself from saying that.”

“It shouldn’t be, it is merely a summoning and containment spell. Constantine?”

“Mighta slip some truth spellwork into it, had to be sure it was telling the truth. Pan dimensional beings aren’t really know for being trustworthy, Zatanna.”

“Constantine,” Zatanna shouts at the man in outrage.

“First of all,” Phantom interrupts, “Not an it, I’m a he and second I don’t exactly have a problem with the spell. Just be aware that it’s reduced your any number of questions down to three and then I get a turn asking the questions. Deal?”

“Deal,” Batman says before the two magic users can speak. “I’ve already thought of the most prominent question we needed answers for.”

“Alright, shoot.”

“We have been noticing an alarming number of dimensional tears in a small town on our planet and your energy reading is almost always in that town. Why?”

Phantom tilts his head stroking an imaginary beard, “Hmm, I’ll allow that as a single question I suppose. The dimensional tearing is a combination of a couple of reasons; the city is in a thin spot between your world and the Ghost Zone or the Infinite Realms as some of the older ghosts call it. The other reason is because there are a couple of human scientists who have punched a permanent hole into the Zone, usually natural portals appear and disappear at random and usually only for a few seconds at most. Honestly I surprised you’re worried about the portals now when the Bermuda Triangle has existed forever.”

“What does the- No, nevermind.” Phantom smirks at the Batman’s almost slip of a question. “You still haven’t answered my question; why is your energy signature always in that town?”

“Because it’s m̷̢̨̛̰͍̮̝̪̞͉̩̬͕̣̮̱̻̎͋̉͘ͅį̵͍̫̭̱̝̮̯̞̝̺̤̺̦̝͖̜̅̉̂̊́̑̿̆̈́̕͝n̴̫͎̼͇̭̾ẽ̵̱̭̗̥̱͕̒̋͛͂͆̑͝͠ͅ, I protect it by sending the other ghosts back to the Zone.”

“Who are the most dangerous beings from that dimension and are they a threat to this world?”

“That depends on who you- Me and Clocky. Wait really? Huh, I mean I guess I could see it; Space and Time. I guess this circle means like, the Truth and not what I believe to be true. That’s good to know. Anyways that’s your second question, best make the last one count.”

Batman thinks for a moment, looking over Phantom with a new eye at the revelation that he was the most dangerous, him and this Clocky being at any rate, “If there is an Incursion of beings from this Ghost Zone, how do we protect the earth.”

“You don’t. I do. That’s three questions,” Phantom snaps his fingers and the world blurs as it spins, coming back into focus as Phantom is now outside of the circle and the League is in it. Phantom takes on a sharp tooth grin as he pulls a notebook from inside his body, “Now my first question is for Martian Manhunter; what was Mars like when the Martians were alive?”

[luvv4j4ybe11]

✧Summary~Your bestfriends let your curiosity get the better of you.

✧Warnings~ A/B/O elements(retractable penis, knots, and bioluminescence cum(is that an a/b/o element?)), oral (m receiving), threesome(mfm), dirty talk, human reader, size difference, and I think that’s it. Lmk if I missed anything, enjoy love<33

✧Translations- Yawntutsip~darling, little loved one,

“You what?” Lo’ak asked with his brow raised, both brothers stopping in their tracks.

“I wanna see what you guys look like under your loincloths, I’ve heard other scientists talk about Navi anatomy but I wanna see one for myself.” You state plainly, both of them staring down at you with their brows raised and jaws slightly dropped.

Neteyam is the first to break the silence, walking over to you and crouching down at your level. “Babygirl..are you sure?” He asks gently while placing his hand on your shoulder, his fingers almost touching the middle of your back.

You nod your head quickly, sending him a reassuring smile when you do. “Yes teyam I’ll be fine. I can handle it, I promise.” Both of them smile devilishly at this, their gaze on you turning lustful. “Nah mama, I don’t think you can” Lo’ak says gravely, making Neteyam chuckle softly.

“Can’t promise you’re gonna be able to even walk out of here once we’re done with you.” He adds on, standing up to his full height to take off his loincloth slowly. Lo’ak walking next to him to do the same.

Your stomach was filled with butterflies as they were standing in-front of you, watching the last knot on their loincloths come undone before they fall down to the ground in sync.

You stare at them confused for a second, looking back in front of you to what seemed to be a very well lubricated slit of some sorts, which you assumed is where their cocks were.

You’ve heard the other scientists mention this thing called a knot that’s on the base of male Navi’s shafts that swells the closer the he is to his climax so when he pushes it into his desired mate, she’s sure to get pregnant. But they never talked about how their cocks were when “at rest” essentially.

They both look at you with the same smirk plastered on their faces, tails swaying excitedly behind them. “Can I touch?” You ask innocently, looking up at them with curiosity in your eyes.

Lo’ak bites his lip at your expression, while neteyam places his hand on your head. Rubbing his thumb back and forth on your skull softly. “Mhm, that’s why we’re doing this in the first place right, babygirl?” He questions lowly while tilting his head to the side, braids falling in-front of his face.

You nod to acknowledge his question before reaching out to the both of them tentatively, tracing the outside of their slits with your fingertips. Making both of them flinch and buck up into your hands softly at the soft touch.

After a few more minutes you see something coming out from inside both of their slits. And immediately after that, their dicks come out in front of you. Both of them basically the size and length of your forearm, if not a little bigger.

The thought of those going inside of you makes you nervous, but the ache in your core says otherwise. Making you rub your thighs together tightly.

You still keep your hands on the base of their dicks, not fully touching them but still too busy admiring them. Lo’ak has this knot at the base of his shaft just like neteyam, both of them slightly flat but swelling the more aroused they got.

Lo’ak looked more like a human than anything, but was just blue and fucking enormous in length and girth. Neteyam on the other hand had these ridges on the sides, which looked more like the diagrams of Navi anatomy you’ve seen before.

You look up at them with doe eyes, shuffling uncomfortably before wondering what to do. They both laugh at you hesitation,“You can touch mama” lo’ak says softly, rubbing your head affectionately.

You grab both of them firmly, the slick from where they were before aiding you in stroking them fluidly. They both groan at the feeling of your soft hands wrapped around them, both of them reaching down to touch you to reassure you.

They were both twitching and leaking all into your hands, the pre that came from their tips almost looking shimmery and shiny. As if it was glowing. You swallow thickly at this, scooting closer to them to observe them more.

“You wanna taste, yawntutsip?” Neteyam says thickly,his baritone knocking you out of your trance. “Mhm” you mummer quietly before taking his tip into your mouth, whining softly at the stretch it gave you. He tasted so…sweet.

You lick and suck at his tip hungrily, addicted to the taste of him. He groans at the feeling of your mouth on hip, watching how you struggle to get just his tip into your mouth.“Fuck babygirl, that good?” He chuckles breathily before tightening his grip on your hair. Trying to resist the urge to fuck your face and use you until he’s done.

Lo’ak groans needily at the sight in front of him, closing his hand around yours to fuck into your fist the way he wanted. You take a couple more licks of neteyam before switching to lo’ak, wrapping your hand around neteyam instead.

“I didn’t forget about you baby, don’t worry.” you tease before taking his tip into your mouth, letting the taste of him just dissolve on your tongue.

He hisses at the feeling of your tongue on his sensitive tip, instinctively bucking his hips into your mouth. “Fuck mama..” he groans lowly before throwing his head back when you roll your tounge in circles around him.

He places both hands on your head before fucking your mouth softly, making you whine around him and your eyes water. While neteyam was thrusting into your fist tenderly, not wanting to harm you at all.

You tighten your hold on neteyam and suck lo’ak harder, silently telling them to use you. They both pick up on this quickly, giving you exactly what you wanted.

Your the tears finally spill over your eyes as lo’ak uses your throat, causing little whines and gags to come from you. “You look so fuckin’ pretty like this mama,” Lo’ak growls lowly as your throat squeezes him every time you gag. “Such an eager little slut for us, so perfect.” Neteyam coos at you deeply as he fucks your fist roughly. Making you moan around Lo’ak desperately.

The nosies coming from the three of you made you squeeze your thighs together tightly, being used by these two gorgeous men and their dirty words making your pussy throb.

You rub your thumb up and down neteyams tip as your moan around lo’ak again, the vibration making him moan softly.

“Must want us to cum all over that pretty face huh mama?” Lo’ak teases, cocking his head to the side as if he was waiting for you to answer. Neteyam hums in agreement, hips stuttering slightly as his orgasm approaches. “Come one yawntutsip, be a good girl for us and let us make a mess on your face. We promise we’ll make your feel good after…”

A/N~ ‼️PLEASE READ‼️first thing I wanna say is that I’m kinda upset I had to change the character I had originally(neytiri) bc it’s was js too difficult to write her for this prompt, so that’s why I did lo’ n teyam. I did use Luna (@pandoraslxna) and blues (@blue-slxt) fics as a reference but I DID NOT copy them! So don’t even try to say that I did. That’s the last thing I want to happen so that why I’m addressing it rn, bc id never wanna copy my bbys like that☹️ i tried to fix some of the words so it wasn’t too similar but people will still have an opinion about this so 🤷🏽‍♀️. I can only do so much until it’s out of my control. But thank you guys for reading this. Day 10 will be otw later today. Stay safe and hydrated bbys🩷

Duces🫶🏽,

Luvv4j4ybe11

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Taglist: @pandoraslxna @neteyamswillow @neteyamsyawntu @zafrinaxyz @hotdsworld @plooto @alexxie @erenjeagerwifee @inlovewithpandora @somedays-i-just-feel-bad-bitch @marcelruizboba @km-ffluv @urlocalgayblueberry @koalalafications @rihnnx @neteyamspare @mewowsa @tallulah477 @skywonder

[itonashi]

I am ME.

SUMMARY : Known around the world — a genius scientist named [Name][Last Name]. Everyone sought to be her as she was deemed perfect. A young prodigy that managed to climb up the ranks alongside her friends. She met her demise at the age of 35. It shook the world. Tears fall because of her. Will there be another her?

PAIRING : aquamarine hoshino x fem!reader

WARNINGS : implied deaths, stalking, drugs, slow burn romance, murder, more will be added.

A/N : 2k words. goddamn.. hehe enjoy and pls remember im not an expert still in the adults world neither i am that smart LOL.

4 years later...

You're 6 years old right now. Well, physically. You do not have the patience to restrain myself from not talking all the time. Your babysitter is sleeping. You're infront of a tv. Remote beside you. Maybe, you should change it to a music show?

You're bored after all. No freedom so what else can you do? You change the channel to a music show. After you change it, The MC was announcing the winner for the music show.

"Let's congratulate, B-Komachi!" The MC exclaimed and the audiences roared at the mention of B-Komachi. The members went up the stage, taking the award.

"That girl... looks familiar." You muttered under your breath. A beautiful girl with a blue purplish hair color took the mic and start her speech while giving a heart gesture.

That's the girl you met before. She was interesting to say the least. Even from a first glance, you knew that she hailed from an abusive and solemn past. She was expressionless, she talked to you without any interest in the world and show the real her. To see her become an idol.. does that means she's lying to herself right now.

What drove her to be an idol? You met her only once and yet you feel like, she would be important later on. How captivating, you hope the future is kind to her.

"And that's all from me! Ai!" She waved and giving the mic to another member.

Idol. A career that isn't appreciate enough. Some people on the world looked down upon this career. Just singing and dancing, they said. It's more than that.

Idol need to have a perfect image. One wrong step, then scandal will come for them. Especially if you're a famous group. They have to lie. They have to please their fans. One mistake and it will be talk about for years even after disbanding. The entertainment industry is dangerous. Strict to the point they could take your life.

Idol is also human. They're not robot. They also have feelings. Idols are admirable, they need to have a strong mental to handle the hate. The world is unfair to them. There's so many cases on what happened to idols for the past years and some of it is cruel.

Every career have it's upside and downside. There's no need to compare.

You broke out of your thoughts when the front door opening. You didn't even realize your babysitter already went home. "[Name]." Your father called out to you. You stand up and walk towards him with a tiny smile on your face. Your father wasn't that bad now that you have observed him for 3 years.

He looks like he love your mother dearly. Before going to work, he would always give a kiss to the cheek on your mother. Your mother would blush a little. He carry you to his arm and bring you to his lap.

"I need you to make a decision, [Name]." He said with a stern tone. You tilt your head and nod. "Do you want the easy life or the hard life?" He added, starting into your eyes with a little smile.

You widen your eyes a little "I choose the hard life!" You give an eye closed smile to your father. You felt like being silly while saying that. You expect that if you choose the hard life, he would put you into the entertainment industry. This is the time for you to reveal how smart you are to your family. You aim to be the youngest people to be scouted into the world organization you were previously in. It is possible, in that organization there's no rules for age. You learn that when a child was born in that organization from a couple.

How's that child you see as a little sister figure doing? You hope she still love drawing and painting. Your plan starts now.

Your father sae the expression on your face and laugh "That's good, [Name]. In this world, there's no one living the easy life. Next week, you will follow me visit some director." Your father said with excitement. This is probably the second time you see him that excited — the first one being the time when you talk for 'first time'

He pat you on the head and left you alone on the couch. 'Did he do that just to left me on the couch?' You deadpan at your father but shrug it off. You lay on the couch and close your eyes, gathering the information you gotten for the 4 years you have been living in this new body.

One thing for sure, one of your friends had a baby at the same year you were born. You pray for the chances to meet the child. This time, there's no mistake. You want more connections than before.

"[Name], are you excited to see a child acting on the site?" Your father is driving the car to a filming site. He said the director is someone named Taishi Gotanda. You don't really remember the great things that Taishi guy have did since you weren't that keen on keeping up with the media world.

"Yeah! I'm excited! They're the same age as me, right?" You exclaimed. "No, you're the older one there." He said. Great, being the eldest means babysitting. Well, not if the children is discipline properly.

You arrive at the site and you scan around the site for a potential connection to be made with. Your father tap your back and you follow him behind his back. "Oh, Yoshino-san. Great to have you here." The Taishi guy shake your father's hand and he noticed you behind your father. You notice his eyes and smile while waving to him. 

'This is boring.' You thought while walking a little bit away from your father. "Yoshino-chan, please follow me." A staff called out to you. You faced them and nod. "Your father said that you would only see how the process goes. You don't need to do any acting." The staff stated while leading you to a waiting room. You only hum at her to show that you're still listening to her.

'What a quiet kid...' The staff thought. The staff left you as soon as you arrive at the waiting room. You saw three kids and overhear their conversation. "Bet her acting was so bad they had to cut it all out! She seems to be good at buttering people up, though!" The child with red hair uttered.

The red hair proceed to be kinda rude in your opinion to other people. She left not before noticing you though. She look at you up and down and left. 'Is this how kids are?' You sweat at the child behavior. You look inside the room and saw two kids who you assume is twin because of the similarities. The annoyed expression on their face is visible, probably because of that girl? She's Arima Kana , if you remember correctly.

The girl who can flick a crying switch. Well, whatever. You bow at the twin and introduce yourself. They notice you and bow as well. "Oh, I'm Hoshino Ruby! And he's my brother. Hoshino Aquamarine but call him Aqua." The girl claim. What a weird name for japanese people.. The first thing you noticed about the pair is their eyes. It was captivating enough to lure you in. I'm sure they would become a big part of the entertainment industry. A powerful duo, they would say.

"Nice to meet you.." Aqua greet you with a neutral face. An opposite personality of his sister. A smile crawled up your face. "Soo.. why are you guys here?" You questions their presence at the filming site. "I will be acting while my sister here well.. she's just here, I guess." The boy deadpan. "How rude!" Ruby exclaimed.

You nod and cross your arm "It seems like Ruby is the same as me. I will only be watching." You hope that a friendship will bloom between you guys.

Amazing. You lightly smirk at the acting Aqua did. He only act like himself but he was incredibly creepy with it as that was what's the director aiming for. Maybe, the main part of it was because he seems mature for his age and his eyes. You just can't seem to let go of the beauty. "How did you think about it, [Name]?" Your father ask you with interest towards the young boy. "It's amazing, father. Can I start acting too?" You replied while staring at Arima Kana who was crying.

"It's never to late for you to be like your mother." Your father stated while lightly smiling at you "I can get you a role. Make sure to past my expectations." He added. Looks like the expectations for results is starting.

After that, your father have been keeping contacts with the twin since he have taken an interest on the young boy. You occasionally met the twin and learn more about them one by one. Sadly, your father couldn't keep hold of the them — Director Taishi Gotanda did.

You appear on multiple drama show as a child actor and made a name for yourself. There have been talks that you would conquer Arima Kana the child actor prodigy. You don't intend to do that but if that's what happen, it will happen. But they have to stop the  comparison because every person have their own flaws.

You even got to do some photoshoot for a child's brand. Well, this will be memories in a few years. Atleast, you get to feel being a child again. A carefree child. Because of all the acting, you had to learn new skills everytime even things that you didn't learn in your past life. Naturally, you're good at it.

I guess you would still be a genius this time too.

When the death of Ai Hoshino happened, you attend the funeral with your parent. The people grieving over Ai's death make you recall the time your parent got into a bad accident and passed away because of that. You didn't cry because you had no connection to her but it still hurts to know that the stranger you have met before when they're a teenager to died when they almost turn into a full fledged adult.

You hope the people from Strawberry Production is taking their time to heal from the loss of a staff. You can only give prayers to them.

Later on, the death of Ai was just like a wind breeze that pass every day. No one talk about it after a week. Some may move on and some didn't. Ai Hoshino may you rest in peace.

A year of being in the entertainment industry — thanks to your father. You don't care if they call you a nepo baby. You're talented, that's all that matter. You were invited to a variety show and you were excited since you can freely show your talents there. No on can say a thing about it. No one will question it.

You met the cast and greet them. It was going well until they start talking about your acting career. "Yoshino-san, you really resemble your mother and your acting skill is incredible. Mind to share a tip?" The MC compliment your acting. "I can't because I am ME. I don't think much on what to do and just go with the flow." You said with a neutral tone. One thing about the entertainment industry, they won't question what the kids say since their still not mature for their age and just let out what's on their mind. Even if you have a sharp tongue, the people will love it. They don't mind it when a kid do it. At the very least, you have to have a character that will make people love you.

That would make people remember you for a long time.

"Yoshino-san, your father said before in an interview that you are a genius. Top at everything, is that true?" One of the cast commented. You smirk "Why don't you give me a question and let me answer it? I would prefer if it's a math question, though." With this, you will make moments for yourself. The cast laugh at your confidence and gave you a whiteboard. You will be competing with the 'smartest' cast, they said.

"69 x 4."

Ding!

A ring was made by you. The questions was too easy. As former scientist, you had to count percentage so this is a piece of cake for you. The cast beside you look at you bewildered. "276." You confidently said. "Correct!" The MC exclaimed. You know that they're looking down on you. You ought to prove them wrong.

After a series of questions, the people were speechless upon your smartness. The adults didn't expect this. Your mother look at you behind the swarm of staff and smile widely. You notice it and wave a little.

Soon, the filming ended. You were tired and hold out your arms to your mother. Your mom chuckle s and carry you up to her arms and kiss you on the cheeks. "You did good, my little angel." Your mother praises you. You snuggle up to her. Even though, you are an adult mentally but you want to indulge in this child body of your of receiving parent's love.

Even an adult wants to heal their inner child.

TAGLIST : @glitch-karma @kult-o @miyakoa @pandaswitch @serbian-x @nambii @bajifairyy @lumiriai

[NEXT] [PREV] [SERIES LIST]

itonashi © // don't plagiarize, copy or edit my works.

[f4g4um]

hey ok hear me out.

i’m a mad scientist, doing genetic experimentation. i’m working on gene synthesis and adding new features to humans, with the goal to modify what the very concept of human is.

and you? you aren’t just any test subject, you are the one who will prove one of my theories right. you were so against my work, a vigilante, screwing up the area around my lab, trying (foolishly) to convince my test subjects that they should not enjoy their transformations.

i catch you. of course i do. and for the first week i have you tied up. sometimes i readjust you, to make sure you aren’t too sore or aching. i study your body, your reaction to outside stimuli. i inspect you head to toe, paying no mind when i hear your breathing get heavy, or when you try to squirm away. i start to train you on how to make the tests go easy, how two taps means to open, whether it be on your cheek or the outside of your thigh.

i test out various aphrodisiacs, too, and drugs. see how they all affect you. there’s room in there for conversation, sometimes, but it’s light. you’ve accepted it.

you don’t expect it when you start to change. i do. i grin and grab out even thicker restraints, and you don’t even fight when i unbuckle you, just whine and let me when i strap you back into the examination table. i’ve got you right where i want you.

you start to get stronger, you can feel it. bigger, too, and furrier than before. you grow wolf ears, and your nose lengthens to a snout. every day you wake up, new changes have been implemented. you bide your time, while i watch and take careful notes of your transformation, and you are driven more and more mad by he instinct to hunt, to pursue, to ravage.

at some point, i get lax. i overestimate your obedience. you end up with your hands free, and now with significant height and strength on me, im all yours to play with. the doctor who trained you so well now reduced to a toy.

you pin me against the wall, against the table i had you strapped too. you fill me with your knot, drool while you breed me, while i feel your now monstrous chest rise and fall above me. your tail wags as you rail me, reduced to just the call of pleasure and the warm wetness between my legs

you escape in the night after reducing me to a fucked out plaything. “my experiment” goes back to normal soon enough. you loose the fur, the snout, the crushing power. you don’t tell anyone, but you miss it. and i know you’ll be back for more. i’ll just wait. i did train you myself, after all

[jrswritings]

Tingles and Giggles - Chapter Eight - Tyler Owens x Reader

Get caught up with Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, and Chapter Seven! Masterlist :)

Chapter Eight - Carried Away

On your way back to Prairie Winds most of the ride was silent, filled with the tunes of country music. Tyler held your hand in his and rubbed your knuckles with his thumb the whole time. Even though a couple of your favorite songs played on the radio, your mind was off in la-la land. Thinking about what a future with not only Tyler but with the Tornado Wranglers looked like. 

From what you had observed before, it was like being famous and being spotted out somewhere. Being surrounded by people reaching and trying to just touch you to then not wash that part of their body for as long as possible because you touched it. You never understood why, as you just viewed it as unsanitary. You could understand getting a picture with them or having them sign something that wasn’t a body part, but anything beyond that was unthinkable for you. 

“Whatcha thinking about over there, gorgeous?” Tyler asked, squeezing your hand. 

“Oh you know, things,” you said, looking over at him with a small smile. 

“Well when you solve all of the problems of the world, let me know,” he said, “I’ll be waitin’ for ya.” 

You giggled softly, leaning your head back and looking out the passenger window. The only problem in the world you were concerned about currently was what your life was going to be with the Storm Riders practically disbanding. You grabbed your phone from the back seat and started typing a text to the Storm Riders chat. 

“Hey, Ty?” You asked softly, staring at your phone. 

“Yeah, baby?” He said, slowing down and putting his right turn signal on. 

“Are you sure me and the two kids on my team can join the Wranglers?” You asked softly. 

“The more the merrier,” he said, looking over and giving you a reassuring smile. 

“Okay,” you said, pulling your other hand away from Tyler’s slowly so you could type faster and more accurately. 

‘Hey Team. It has recently been brought to my attention that Willow, Jade, and Tristan will no longer be with the Storm Riders, effective immediately. I’ve spent the morning with Tyler from the Tornado Wranglers and I will be joining them for the next season. He offered to take Finn and Asher onto his team if they were willing. My mind is set on joining as chasing has become my full-time passion. Without having a scientist, an extra camera operator, and someone to watch the weather besides myself, I don’t see the Storm Riders being able to chase safely. If anyone has any further questions, I will be available to talk in the morning.’ 

“You can put me down for joining the Wranglers,” you said, putting your phone in the cup holder and grabbing Tyler’s hand gently. 

“R-Really?” He asked, stuttering. 

“Why do you sound nervous about it?” You asked, “Yes.” 

“I guess I didn’t expect you to drop your team so quickly,” He said, looking over at you. 

“Well, without half the team I knew we wouldn’t be able to chase safely,” you said, “And I couldn’t risk Finn or Asher’s lives not having the science behind the storms.” 

“What about your own?” He asked, bringing your hand up and kissing the back of it. 

“If I die chasing, then I died doing something I loved,” you said nonchalantly, ���My parents know where I stand on my afterlife process and they agree with it. They know I’m stubborn enough to where I won’t stop chasing just because it could kill me.” 

“God damn,” he mumbled softly against the back of your hand.

“What?” You asked, looking at him.

“Call me forward, but I fall more in love with you the longer we’re together,” he said, “And there’s still so much I don’t know ‘bout you.” 

You didn’t even have to look as you could feel your cheeks turning a bright red. How could someone be so egotistical at one point and then so mushy-gushy at another? If storm chasing didn’t pan out, he could easily become an actor and win Oscars or something.

“Either you blush easy, or I really get you goin’,” he chuckled, “Before you get more flustered trying to reply know it’s okay.” 

You glanced over at the clock, 3:12 pm. You had barely spent eight hours with him and he already knew more about you than you had originally thought. 

“I don’t appreciate that you know so much about me yet I feel like I barely know you,” you said, looking at him from over the top of your sunglasses. 

“What do you wanna know, baby girl?” He asked, turning onto a dirt road. 

“Everything and anything,” you said, turning in your seat to face him. 

“Well, I’m sure I’m head over heels for you. I went to the University of Arkansas for meteorology but never finished. My first love of tornadoes came when I was with my aunt and while I was scared, I fell in love with it,” he said, finding a spot with a few trees and a tiny shack. 

“What’s this place?” You asked, figuring you had time to dig more out of him. 

“It’s technically my aunt’s cabin, but she lets me use it whenever,” he said, throwing the truck in park and killing the engine. 

“Is this where you always disappear to?” You asked

“Usually, we’re only a half hour away from Prairie Winds,” he said, getting out and coming to your side of the truck. 

“There isn’t much here, what do you come here for?” You asked, hopping out of the truck once he opened the door for you. 

“To give my mind a chance to think since Boone never shuts up,” he joked, shutting your door and walking up to the small porch. 

You glanced around the area, it was wide open beside a small group of trees with a fire pit in the middle of it, a huge stack of firewood piled between two of the trees. 

“I usually come here to think about life, aside from chasing,” he said, finding the key on his key ring. 

“What about the Black Mesa?” You asked. 

“That’s for the storm-chasing side of my brain,” he said, pushing the door open, “This is the family man side of me and the side that will eventually be left when the chasin’ side can’t keep up.” 

“There’s a family man side to you, too?” You asked, following him through the doorway. 

“Yes, there is, sweetheart,” he sighed, opening the small fridge in the corner and taking out a beer, “I know you prefer whiskey, but you want one?” 

“If that’s all you have,” you said, taking the beer bottle from him and twisting the top off. 

“We can sit in here and relax until it cools off enough for a fire,” he said, walking over to the radio and turning the dial slightly. Mostly static came through until you could barely hear the start of George Strait’s ‘Carried Away.’ 

You smiled slightly, knowing George was your parent's favorite country artist as they would always dance in the kitchen to his music. While you remembered watching them together when you were younger, you felt Tyler grab your hand and pull you close to him. 

“Can we try this again without me being buzzed?” He asked, setting his bottle down. 

“I suppose we could,” you said, setting yours down and flattening your shirt slightly from being scrunched up in the truck. 

He wrapped his arm around your waist, holding your right hand in his left. You slid your left hand up to his bicep and gave it a light squeeze. 

“I don’t take my whiskey to extremes,” George sang over the radio, “Don’t believe in chasin’ crazy dreams.” 

While swaying your hips together as if you’d done it all your life, Tyler rested his forehead on yours and hummed along softly. 

“My feet are planted firmly on the ground,” George sang, “But darlin’ when you come around.” 

You pulled your forehead away from his and looked into his eyes which were full of love and happiness. This made your insides warm up and soothe your thoughts that were going a million miles per hour. 

“I get carried away by the look by the light in your eyes. Before I even realize the ride I’m on, baby, I’m long gone,” Tyler softly sang while looking down at you, “I get carried away, nothing matters but being with you. Like a feather flying high up in the sky on a windy day, I get carried away.” 

He leaned closer to you, your noses rubbing together gently. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked softly, his lips brushing against yours.

Want more? Here's Chapter Nine!

Taglist: @fanboyswhore9 @faith719

[successfulgoddess333]

WHO AM I??

Hi baby

I’m going to talk a little bit about myself

I don’t wanna reveal too much

My face and everything else will remain anonymous for safety and privacy💕

Name:

My name is Honey(yes this is my birth name lol)

You can call me by my name or honeybee

Or even honeycomb

Do NOT call me beehive 😡

Unless it’s related to Beyoncè💕

Age: 23

Topics:

I discuss the void state, Law of assumption,Reality Shifting (I haven’t talked about this yet but will if you need more info)

And All kinds of Manifestation methods

How to talk to Honey!!!

Just dm me any questions I don’t take asks anymore so if you have any questions just feel free to dm me

Ethnicity/Nationality

My mom is Afro Peruvian, Indian,and Haitian

My dad is Jamaican

Sooo

I’m black hehe🤟🏾

I don’t do these I’m super private it’s soooo weird omg

What do I like??

Music food animals

Did I say music because

MUSIC!!!!!!

My favorite artists

I love all kinds of music

Even death metal occasionally

I like Harry Styles,Kid Cudi,Lady Gaga The Beatles,Ice Spice and many moreeeee

I also love movies

Literally almost any kind

But anyways

Let’s talk about something more interesting!!

Now that you know me(kind of)

I want you to know about this technique I discovered

It’s not new at all

In fact ppl on here have already talked about it I’m just late

As usual 😔

Anywayyyyyy

There’s a technique I want you all to try

It’s called the

“Wim hof breathing”

Method

No methods are needed But if you really want one

Then here you go pookie

(Found this on a website but it won’t let me copy the link😔)

WIM HOF BREATHING METHOD

Find a comfortable position.

Breathe in deeply through the nose or mouth and through the belly to the chest. Then let the breath go unforced.

Exhale through the mouth, then immediately breathe in again.

Take 30–40 such breaths in short bursts.

Take one final, deep inhalation then let the air out and stop inhaling. Hold the breath until you feel the urge to breathe again.

Inhale very deeply to full capacity and hold for 15 seconds, then let it go. This completes the first round.

Repeat the whole process, steps #2-6, 3-4 times.

After completion take time to meditate and enjoy the state of deep relaxation

After the very last step you should be a deep trance like state you should be really relaxed

I recommend that you let your next subliminal play

Which should be

Either a theta or epilson wave track or pink noise

Make sure your desired subliminal that plays after is Not a guided meditation you wanna still be in a trance

Start affirming in that point

And don’t stop

Just feel how relaxed you are feel that powerless body but powerful mind

Your body is at ease your soul and mind collide in such ways that allows you to breathe freely without any stress no harm

In the void state

Your main goal should be getting peace

Because if you’re entering just affirm

You’ll likely put it on a pedestal you’ll get frustrated and give up

It is not a wish granter bitch

It’s you

Baby you are powerful

Baby you are pretty

Baby you can tap in the void

And make the bring the 4D to your 3D and make it your home

Don’t use the void as a wish granter

Use it for peace

Don’t treat the 3D like the enemy

Treat it like a friend

After all it exists the way it does because of your assumptions

Whether you say this is hard or this is easy

Sugar, you’re right either way

Because if you assume something then that’s how it’ll be

If you think you’re pretty you’re pretty

But if you think you’re broke

Then you’re broke

If you think you’re rich

Then you’re rich baby

You could have wings

Superpowers

Be the biggest singer or rapper in the world

Star in the next Dune Movie

Be best friends with Ariana Grande

Be a Scientist

Be smarter than Albert Einstein(I mean was he actually super intelligent if he lacked common sense)

You could be get a bigger butt!!

I mean didn’t necessarily have a pancake ass

But I definitely didn’t have a Nicki Minaj

BUT I DO NOW!!!!

And bestie you can too!

Plastic surgery who???

Do we look like a Kardashian-Jenner?? I think the f not🙄

The void is our plastic surgeon

You wanna a smaller nose?

Got it

Tig ole biddies?

Got it

Nicki Minaj butt?

Got it

Floor length hair?

Got it?

Whatever you want to change about yourself

Got it!

And for the last time babies

You ALWAYS ENTER THE VOID EVERYTIME YOU SLEEP

Mentally just be

Physically sleep

In that moment baby

Forget the 3D and its fuck ass bob

Because the 3Ds not your enemy but its your puppet

You’re a ventriloquist CONTROL THAT MF

The 4D is you

The void is you

Quit saying what you can’t do babe

You CAN BECAUSE YOU ALREADY DID AND YOU STILL DO

“HoNEy I StiLL didNT gET inTO tHe vOiD”

YES YOU DID!!!!!!

You did it

You just didn’t know

Bro the void is just recognizing you’re asleep

And getting in contact with your mind

Which is where you already go when you go to sleep

So ha

Billie

There’s your answer

When we fall asleep

That’s where we go

The mf Void State

The only thing your cute ass has to do baby

Is just be aware

When Neville Goddard says just “BE”

Bitch just BE

That’s it

Be aware

Like that SpongeBob episode

“Be the crane”

Be the Void

It’s just you love

So why you stressing

Why complicate something YOU created?!

Baby girl make it make sense

Own your power bitch

I love you My darlings

Month is almost over

Bring me my success stories

Or I’ll be your sleep paralysis demon 😈

(Just kidding)

Or am I;)

NOW BITCH LOOK!!!!

YAYYYY

Imma keep pressuring you to listen to this(NOTE YOU DO NOT NEED SUBLIMINALS)

But I like this one🫠

Wrong emoji

I can’t find that cute one at the moment I’m rushing cuz I wanna eat my burger!

SLADE:

https://youtu.be/oKU8YIicYQg?feature=shared

THIS

because it’s soooo peaceful

Slade is the best

BYE BITCH GO GET THAT DREAM LIFE NOW!!!

I love you ⭐️💕

[disheveledtranquility]

I'm gonna call it: Sleeper is in this one. Just under different circumstances than the comics.

Eddie and the symbiote gets captured (the whole 'area 51' joke from the second movie) and they're separated while on the run.

Eddie starts feeling drained, exhausted, sick, and hungry like he first did when he first merged with the symbiote. But Eddie knows he's alone now, truly. Alone and on the run by himself.

They're both being hunted, both looking for each other. But Eddie is at a disadvantage. The symbiote knew this.

This can go one of two ways: something happened, and the symbiote failed to inform Eddie, thinking it was the best choice given the circumstances. And the symbiote growing inside him is slowly gaining enough awareness to protect him. To keep him safe until they can reunite later.

Or Eddie was told before the separation, and Eddie spends his time on the run trying to keep both him and the new symbiote safe while trying not to die in the process.

I'm hoping I'm right because of this part in the trailer here:

This scene looked off to me. Eddie's symbiote is stark black, and even with the lighting, the symbiote tendril shown seems more desaturated to me. Which makes me think this isn't his symbiote. Also, Eddie's reaction right before reaching out to it:

At this point, this isn't how Eddie is going to be reacting to his symbiote. And in these quick few frames he's almost shaking, hesitant. It's after the helicopter crash and Eddie looks healed.

So what healed him? And who is he reaching out to?

Little Sleeper, who he gets to meet for the first time. Sleeper has bits of yellow/gold and red, so the hue would fit.

Because another point in this scene snippet jumped out at me. After the crash. Eddie hunched inside but clearly not dead. But in pain and clearly emotional.

That helicopter is obliterated, having crashed from the sky with him in it. And there is literally no one else in sight. Not even human remains. So how did he make it out, virtually unscathed?

Maybe this is where Sleeper is strong enough to make an appearance, and to assure Eddie that he's not alone, that he's still protected. That together they'll find Eddie's 'other'.

Please if we can't have Dylan can we have the other Symbrock child, I need the world to know they have canon children.

Sleeper may be just offspring from Eddie's symbiote that Eddie helped nurture, but the fact that the symbiote wanted to raise it to be good, with Eddie, fucking sends me into outer space.

Would have loved the hybrid human/symbiote child Dylan who has the power to control symbiotes, but since this is the last movie...I'mma just cry to myself. Please give us Sleeper. Let Sleeper be the loving child of theirs.

Plus..."we have something he needs"

'we'

Not I, as in Knull wants to devore the symbiotes to take back the power. We. Eddie and his symbiote. It's specific.

Sleeper ends up being hella powerful. Enough that it can exist without a live host. Eddie being able to bond with one of Knull's symbiotes and form a mutual emotional bond with it to create such a being ( two when you count Dylan ) is a fucking threat on every level.

I mean, why is the separation of Eddie and his symbiote the theme here?

"This world can't survive if you stay together."

"If Venom lives, everything will end."

'Venom' of course, being Eddie and the symbiote's merged name. Which takes on a WHOLE new meaning when you think about the fact that Toxin is telling that scientist that if Eddie and the symbiote remain together...Knull is going to send that army. Because Knull doesn't like a good threat to his kingdom. And considering Eddie's symbiote betrayed its race just to be with him...

No one wants to deal with what Venom (Eddie and his symbiote) can create. Too powerful to control and too fearful of the possibilities. But that doesn't stop them and I'm really hoping I'm right.

I could ted talk about this all day.

PLEASE SONY. I'M IN YOUR WALLS AT NIGHT.

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

Burning Love

AI-Less Whumptober 2024: Day 26. Burning Fandom: MCU, Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier, f!reader Summary: When you and Bucky are captured, HYDRA scientists try to force you to use your powers to kill him. But you refuse to hurt the man you love, regardless of how much pain it may cause you... Word Count: 2171 TW: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Whump, Burning, Torture, Self-Sacrifice, Self-Inflicted Wounds, Laser Beams, Damaged Vision, Bucky Carries Reader, Happy Ending Notes: Thank you to @ohtobeleah for looking this over for me 💞 Part of @ailesswhumptober's event

“Doll, please, open your eyes.” The desperation in Bucky’s voice as he pleads with you breaks your heart, but it’s better than the alternative if you comply with his wishes.

You twitch your head as much as the leather restraint across your forehead will allow, your eyes squeezed tightly shut. Through gritted teeth, you grunt, “Not gonna happen, Sarge.”

The pain coursing through you is horrible, but knowing what it would do to Bucky if you gave in is enough to make it bearable—somewhat. Unlike his body, yours is more equipped to handle the damage caused by the laser beams you can shoot from your eyes. While it has taken maybe an hour to get to this point—where your eyelids and surrounding skin are charred, bubbly, and blackened like a flamed-broiled marshmallow—you would have cut through Bucky’s flesh in seconds. Which is why you are fighting so hard to protect him from your open eyes. 

“Turn it off,” a frustrated voice growls behind you. “We'll have to try something else.”

The searing sensation in your eyes disappears and you shift against the numerous restraints holding you into the metal chair. It feels so violating to have these HYDRA scientists hooking you up to their machinery, digging through your brain, and activating your beams as they see fit. You wonder if this is how Bucky used to feel back when he was the Winter Soldier.

As the scientists fiddle with the equipment behind you, you hear a tender voice call out to you. “Are you okay?”

“Right as rain,” you mumble. “How you doing, Buck?” The last thing you saw before you began forcing yourself to keep your eyes closed was Bucky being strapped into his own chair directly across from you.

“Horrible. Watching you barbeque yourself just to spare me…Doll, you can’t keep doing this. You won’t survive it much longer.”

You gave him a wry chuckle. “I’ve been accidentally burning myself with these things my entire life. I can take it.”

“For how long?” You don’t answer. “Please, look at me. I need to see you’re okay behind all of this.”

As much as you want nothing more in this world than to stare into Bucky’s loving gaze one last time, it’s not worth the potential cost. “I can’t. They could turn them back on at any second and…I can’t risk it.” 

“I’m not worth all the pain they’re putting you through. I don’t deserve this kind of sacrifice—not after everything I’ve done.”

Smiling in his direction, you whisper, “When will you stop blaming yourself for what they made you into and see the man you truly are? The man I love.”

It sounds like Bucky is about to say something else but, before he can, an angry voice from behind you barks out, “I’m tired of this game. Increase the power.”

Bucky screams, “No!”

Suddenly, the pain behind your eyes increases exponentially and the pressure within your head becomes unbareable. An inhuman screech is ripped from your lips. Something in your vocal cords snaps under the strain. You smell the faint whiff of burning hair mixed in with your cooking flesh and wonder if the last of your eyelashes have finally been seared off. Your bare toes scrap against the cold concrete as they involuntarily curl as all the muscles in your body contract. Every other part of your body is restrained by the straps holding you down, but you begin violently shaking as the tension within you becomes too great.

The small part of your mind that’s still coherent wonders if your eyes roll back into your head if you’ll fry your brain and end this torture. Maybe it is worth it to try.

You have no idea how long they keep your beams on this time—all your remaining focus and energy is on keeping your eyes closed. Bucky is screaming, crying, begging, but his voice sounds echoey and far away so you can’t make out his words. You aren’t sure what HYDRA will do to him once you’re gone, but you pray he fights them with everything he has.

Finally, the machine behind you is flipped off and your body sags against your restraints. Without them, you know you’d topple to the floor, no longer possessing the energy to hold yourself up. Everything hurts now, not just your eyes. But you’re still alive which means you aren’t done fighting.

You hear footsteps approaching and you recognize the voice of the man in charge as he curses, kicking one of the legs of your chair. “This is ridiculous. How many of you fucking idiots does it take to make her kill the Soldier? Just pry her eyes open, clamp them in place, and turn the machine back on.”

You grin weakly, feeling blood dripping down your chin where you had bit your tongue. With your ruined voice, you croak, “You can try, but the second any of you put a finger near my eyes, I’m burning it off.” 

The man beside you yanks on the restraint across your forehead, tightening it to the point you feel bones crack. You let out a soft whimper as the man growls, “Fine. We’ll turn it up to full power and leave it on. Let her burn completely through her eyelids. Then we’ll get the results we want.” You hear him turn and march away.

For the first time, your resolve wavers as a small sob bubbles up in your chest. Your body may be resistant to your beams and can repair wounds sustained from them, but it takes time. If these scientists can make you burn through your eyelids—and based on how everything is starting to look a little brighter through your closed lids, it seems like a very real possibility—then there is nothing you can do to stop them from hitting and killing Bucky. 

You hear the scientists murmuring and fiddling with equipment somewhere far behind you, but you still don’t dare open your eyes in case someone is still at the machine and flips it on the moment you look at Bucky. Yet it won’t matter for much longer if they carry out their plan. 

“Doll…” The word is whispered so low you can barely hear it.

“Buck…,” It’s hard to whisper with your ruined voice, the sound more of a croak than a real word. But you hope he can understand you with his super-soldier hearing. “I’m sorry. I-I can’t stop this.”

“I know. You’ve done so good so far.” Even in a whisper, the love in his voice feels like a comforting embrace. “But I have a plan. You just gotta trust me.” 

“I do. You know I do.” 

“Then when I tell you to open your eyes and turn on your beams, whether they’re making you or not.”

You sob, “But Bucky—”

“Trust me!” he hisses. 

“Okay…okay, I’ll do it.”

He lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Doll. Whatever happens, I love you. And this isn’t your fault.”

A single tear escapes your ruined eyes and rolls down your scared cheek. “I love you too. But we both know, it is.”

Bucky doesn’t respond. However, you can hear a soft scraping and shuffling from his vicinity. Maybe he found a way to escape. Or maybe…he couldn’t be asking you to kill him. After all the pain and suffering you’d put yourself through to keep him alive, he wouldn’t have you take him out now just to end both of your pain…would he?

But you promised to trust him and you do, so when you hear him mutter, “All the way down and to the right. Now!”, you follow his instructions.

Shifting your gaze behind closed lids as far to the right and downward as they’ll go, you open your eyes and blast without a second's hesitation. 

Your beams strike Bucky in the center of his left forearm, just a few inches above his wrist. Even though it is his metal arm, you are horrified. You thought he had found a way to get you to blast open his cuffs or melt his chair, and in a way, even killing him instantly would be better than this. His vibranium arm is advanced enough that it still allows him to feel sensations such as texture, pressure, and—what concerns you in this situation—temperature and even pain. Instead of ending his life with one blast, you are now forcing him to endure the same agony you have been going through. 

As the metal begins to glow under the intense heat of your beams, you want to screw your eyes shut once more. But Bucky told you to do this and you promised to trust him. Even though he is grunting and panting because of the pain, he isn’t telling you to stop so you keep your beams focused on his arm. 

Eventually, the red-hot glow expands and soon reaches his wrist. In moments, the metal restraint liquifies and Bucky wrenches his arm free. Without having to be told, you slam your eyes shut once more.

You can hear the sounds of fighting all around you: guns firing until their clips run empty, flesh sizzling against metal followed by screams of agony, bodies being flung around the room and crashing to the floor. 

But then everything goes silent.

For a minute, nothing happens. You are just about to call out when a pair of lips press lightly against yours. Jumping slightly, you quickly recognize the kiss. You try to lean into it but the strap across your forehead holds you firmly in place. 

Parting from your lips and pressing his forehead against yours, Bucky whispers, “It’s okay. You can open your eyes now. It’s just you and me.”

Slowly, you peel your eyes open. The world is cloudy and out of focus with huge black spots obstructing your vision. And yet, there was no mistaking the person kneeling in front of you. 

Weakly, you smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he murmurs back.

“H-how bad?”

Bucky’s brow furrows as he runs his thumb gently around the edge of your eye socket, the now cooled metal somewhat soothing against your damaged skin. “It’s really bad, but I’m hoping it’s worse than it looks. Once you get checked out—”

“Not me,” you whisper. “How badly did I hurt you?”

You can hear the smile in his voice even though you can’t make it out. “I’ve had a lot worse. And it’s because of you that it was as minimal as it was. You should’ve just vaporized my head from the very start.” 

“Nah. I knew we’d find a way out eventually.”

“Liar,” he teases. Then, with a more serious tone, he asks, “How’s your vision? You’re blinking an awful lot and that can’t be comfortable.”

You try to think of how to describe what you are seeing. “I can see some shapes, colors, movements…that’s about it. No details. But even that’s a miracle at this point. I’ve never burned myself this badly before.”

“Will they…will they heal?”

You try to shrug but you are still strapped to the chair. “They should. They always have before. Healing the burns is tied into my powers.” You swallow and flinch at the sharp stab of pain cutting down your throat. “My voice, however, might be another story.”

Bucky gently runs his fingers down the side of your neck. “I’m sure SHIELD has some specialists who can help you. But first, we’ve got to get back to them. So let’s get you out of that chair.”

He began unlocking each of your restraints and you can’t stop a moan from escaping. Your skin had been rubbed raw where the metal dug into your skin, and your muscles ache from how tensely they had been clenched in pain. Bucky must have noticed this, because as he undoes each strap, he massages the area, loosening up the muscles enough to ease some of the tension. But every inch of you still throbs in pain. 

As Bucky unlatches the last restraint, he asks, “Do you think you can walk?”

“I’m not sure. Everything hurts. But maybe once I get going—” You try to rise from the seat but barely make any progress before collapsing back down. You look up at Bucky sheepishly. “I guess that’s a no.”

Carefully, he lifts you into his arms and carries you towards the exit. You can’t see where you’re going and the slight bobbing of your vision as he walks is giving you a headache. 

Leaning your head against his chest, you let your damaged eyes drift softly closed. Then you mutter, “I think I need to sleep for a bit. Helps my recovery time.”

You feel Bucky’s lips brush against your temple. “Rest, Doll. I’ll take it from here.”

Nodding softly, you begin slipping into a deep slumber. You are still in a lot of pain, but you don’t regret a single moment of what happened. You’d do it all again if at the end you could be safe in Bucky’s arms once more.

[buckets-and-trees]

Peering In My Hollow Core

Characters/Pairings: Nomad!Steve x Morally Grey!Female Reader Word Count: 2.4k Summary: Even the best laid plans can go up in flames. You're both wrong, and yet also more right for each other than you know.

Content Warnings: explicit smut, DUBIOUS CONSENT due to sex pollen, masturbation, rough fucking/vaginal sex, unprotected sex/ejaculation

Logistical Notes: I claimed prompt 13 for @lunarbuck's Star-Crossed Lovers Soulmate AU challenge and also knocking off I1 "masturbation" for @the-slumberparty's August/September Bingo challenge. And because you know I can't resist... it's also using one of the prompts (first bolded line) for @witchywithwhiskey's Horror Movie Hoe-a-thon! And it's answering an ask I got from one very mischievous @stargazingfangirl18 that's been on my mind for the last two weeks.

Additional Notes: @biteofcherry and @vonalyn let me suss out how this evolved, so thank you for enduring my brainstorming! Eva also gave a line of dialogue inspiration that I found too delicious not to snatch up, and so that's bolded for acknowledgement as well (near the end). Title from Scars by Basement Jaxx.

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

“What’s your grand plan here, Doc?” The golden-haired, bearded hulk of a man, America’s golden boy now a rogue in the shadows is pacing before you. “Are you even a doctor?”

His tone is biting, angry, and you don’t hold it against him.

He did fall right into your trap.

“You’re a smart boy, you can guess.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

“I think it will bruise your ego more if I spell it out for you.”

“You should have thought of my rage before you put yourself in this situation, Doc,” he all but growls, still prowling back and forth across the living room floor. “What’s your exit strategy here?”

“You’re getting more volatile and heated, that’s good. That’s what I need.”

“Do you think this is a fucking game? You’re on dangerous ground.”

Your lips curl up slightly, but you try not to smirk. “I dangled myself in front of you. Good Captain America couldn’t resist trying to liberate the poor scientist who got wrongfully entangled with the remnants of HYDRA. You never even stopped to consider that I was dangling myself out in the wind to get you here like this, and you’ve read enough about HYDRA, you know what I gave you.”

“But why?” he barks.

“No one can beat you for strength. You’re driven, resourceful, able to evade an attack. Your weakness is caring,” you pause because he stops his pacing, he looks ready to spring, but doesn’t yet. His eyes haven’t left you for even a moment since he realized it’s you he needed to worry about, not save. “I need your DNA, blood samples, bodily fluid, and I can’t trap you with anything, but I banked on the one physical vulnerability even a super soldier isn’t immune from: a compound they initially developed as something called a sex pollen. In fact, I think you know they tested it on a super soldier, don’t you?”

He slams his fist on the table between you two, and it splits from his actions.

You shouldn’t have provoked him with that. It wouldn’t yield the results you were trying to manipulate him into.

“Easy, Nomad,” you raise your hands cautiously to ease the tension just slightly. “That’s what they call you now – Nomad is the moniker now that you can’t be Captain America out there to the world anymore.” He flexes his fists, another angry reflex, but one you know speaks to a slight de-escalation, self-regulation. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t agree with everything HYDRA has done.”

He lets out a bitter laugh.

“I don’t,” you insist.

“If you’re not in with them, you’ve made a deal with a devil you’ve vastly underestimated.”

“They’re a means to an end.”

“How can you be so foolish to think that?”

“No one will fund my research at the rate and without regulatory oversight the way they do. They’re desperate to have more of you but under their thumb, especially since you’re at the root of them losing their prize assassin.”

“You’re not stupid, so why are you giving them what they want?”

You lift your chin defiantly.

Steve’s eyes narrow. “Oh god. You can’t tell me… Really? You think you’re gonna keep your research and development from them in the end?”

“Look at what I’ve done so far,” you gesture. “You’ve evaded every attempt they’ve made to get you, you’re evading all the countries who are supposed to enforce the accords and hand you over, and yet I have you trapped here.”

“Why do you care about a super soldier serum?” he asks.

You shrug. “I’m interested in a serum, but I don’t need super soldiers. The list of your medical ailments before you were injected, and then you’re instantly cured of everything? Do you know how many people need even a drop of what cured you?”

“And you think I’d be opposed to that?”

You scoffed, “Yeah, easily. Once the research exists, it will get applied for things it was never intended to be used for, up to and including developing super soldiers for HYDRA and people who pretend they’re better than HYDRA.”

“So, who has made you this desperate?”

“You don’t get to know that.”

He scoffs now. “You don’t get to set the terms here if you intend to get what you want.”

“Don’t I? You’re uncomfortable. You’ve been uncomfortable for a while. It’s going to get worse, but I adapted the formula for what I gave you in that drink of water. All you have to do is ejaculate, and the toxin will abate from your system.”

“How thoughtful of you,” he deadpans.

Then his demeanor changes. He sniffs, and his eyes finally stray from you.

“You said this house is reinforced in its lockdown to keep me in until you initiate and secure your extraction with the HYDRA team?”

“Yes,” you answer slowly, trying to follow his line of sight and decipher what he’s looking at.

“I think you’re going to need to adjust your plans and priorities and do it quickly.”

You open your mouth to ask why, but then your mind quickly makes the leap. “They modified my ventilation system.”

“HYDRA has refused to be eliminated for decades. They can wait for a purebred super soldier and think they can get one in your womb today.”

The heat of humiliation floods your body. How could you have been so foolish not to account for a maneuver like this. They had clearly approved of your strategy too easily.

“Soon you won’t be able to think about anything more than my cock in your cunt, so you better start thinking of how you’re going to get yourself out of this, Doc, because Nomad is not who everyone knew Captain America to be, and I’m certainly not inclined to assist you in any way now. Been doing fine evading capture as you yourself asserted, I can probably figure out my own exit strategy here and fight off the sex pollen until I make it out. But for someone without any biological enhancements… I’m not optimistic over your odds. I read everything on HYDRA. This stuff was nasty when they first developed it, but you can bet they will have reverse engineered whatever you did to the formula to make it even worse.”

As if on cue, you start to feel the physical effects of whatever nearly imperceptible airborne toxin – imperceptible to you, but apparently not to enhanced individuals. Heat flares again in your body, but this time it is a pulsating sexual need.

You close your eyes to try and keep your breath steady and even, but after another moment, you whimper and draw your hands to your stomach as the poisonous desire pulses more strongly, the tremor of need undeniable.

Your eyes burst open again, seeking out the male across the room from you.

He chuckles darkly. “Oh, no. I’m not giving you anything you want. If you’re as brilliant as you think you are, you don’t need me to get out of your unfortunate predicament.”

Your body is yearning for him, but you know he’s serious.

You also know he’s right; you need to think fast.

You’re coherent enough to get both of you out of the lockdown state of the house now – because HYDRA was clearly going to come for both of your – you had a failsafe to get out in case there was some loss of electrical power. But could you get away in this state?

And you know if you get out, you’ll never get the DNA you need from Steve Rogers – you’ll never be close enough to or even see him again. You know that in your bones.

Over the next hour, at different points during the feverish state that overtakes you, you can sometimes hear the super soldier nearby, doing things around your home, undoubtedly trying to apply his own ingenuity.

He might be successful.

It hardly matters.

Now you’re in the shower, under a stream of cold water, trying both to alleviate the unbearable heat your body has peaked to and to hide the sound of your sobs as best you can. You’ve stripped down to a nearly naked state. You ripped off your shirt and pants in your room, left them on the floor, your panties are on the tiled floor outside the shower, but you couldn’t spare your hands to remove your bra. At first you were almost experiencing a sliver of relief with one hand between your legs, paying every attention to your excessively slick folds and throbbing clit, thrusting your fingers in and out of your cunt as well, but it was a false grasp at hope.

You don’t know when you slid down the tiled wall of the wet glass tomb where you think you may die, curled in on yourself, one hand still trying pointlessly to trigger the orgasm that will flush the desperate physical pain from your body, surely it must come.

You don’t know how long he’s been standing in the doorway of the bathroom before you try to shift pathetically, your eyes open, and you see him slowly stroking his hard cock, watching you. You shut your eyes again, in agony wondering how he can possibly seem so collected. Why isn’t he pumping his fist in a frenzy? You couldn’t stroke your clit fast enough, and now you can’t bear to touch it, but the heel of your hand can’t help bumping it as you try to fuck yourself on your fingers.

Then a rush of air blasts over your body.

You open your eyes weakly to see Steve reach to shut off the water, before he bends down and without a word grabs your limp body from the floor, drapes you over his arm, where you hand limply, bent in half, and he hauls you back to your room, and throws you on the bed.

You continue to cry and stroke yourself while you hear him unzip and unfasten, your body a trembling heap, facing away from him as he’s undressing.

“I’m going to fuck you, and then you’re going to let me out before HYDRA comes for both of us. You’re fucking clever and I can’t get out of here without you.”

You whimper when you feel his weight on the bed behind you.

He forces you into a kneeling position, but he doesn’t care that you can’t even prop yourself up, head and shoulders slumped down on the mattress, ass in the air. His left hand grips your hip, and he groans as he guides the head of his cock up and down the slit of your dripping cunt before he finally slides in. It’s deliberate, sliding down to the base, his hips pushing into yours. The way he invades and stretches you is painful, and yet you need it, keening at the fullness.

You do catch that his breathing hitches.

He needs this, too.

You’ll give it to him if he’ll just put your body out of its misery.

After a moment of slowly rutting against you, only shifting his girth inside of you a bit, teasing, perhaps warning, you whine, “move, please, more.”

“More than you bargained for,” he growls, then pulls back, and then thrusts back into you, adopting a brutal pace, both hands anchored at your hips now, slamming you back and forth roughly.

He pulls a first orgasm from your body quickly, but the second comes not long after when he reaches around to pinch and roll your clit between his fingers, still using your pussy for chasing his pleasure.

A third, and you’ve gone from whimpers and keens to crying out and a fresh wave of tears. This is rough and you’re over stimulated, and he knows. He leans over your back to smirk against your neck.

“Please,” you cry. You don’t know if you’re begging for more or for less because your body is screaming in exhaustion, but the fire is still tormenting your veins.

Because you haven’t been filled.

The smirk turns to a sneer against your neck, and Steve snarls, "You wanted it. You staged it. So, you're going to take it and keep fucking taking it until I'm done with your pathetic fragile body."

He’s pressing into places you’ve never felt before, and you cry out more, face pressed into the sheets. He pushes back up and pulls his cock out of you. His fingers work the clasp of your bra, and he pulls it off while he flips you over so you’re on your back. You can’t even open your eyes, but you feel him looming above you, kneeling between your splayed out thighs.

But then you feel something shift. He mutters a curse and is suddenly still.

You open your eyes and look up at him, but he’s looking at your chest. His hand moves up to trace his fingers over a scar near your collarbone. You look and see the same scar evident on his chest.

You reach up and your fingers quest along his bicep, and they do find a scar there, very faint but long, matching one you’ve had nearly your entire life.

Your eyes lock on each other now, and the acknowledgement there between you is terrifying.

There are more scars, but you don’t need to continue to confirm what you know.

You’re soulmates.

You’ve betrayed him before you even knew.

You’re still beholden to the drive of the sex pollen, boneless and exhausted, but this revelation drives with adrenaline through the haze, too hard to deny. It gives you enough to say, “We can’t deal with this now if we want to get out of here with a chance to escape HYDRA, fuck me and end this.”

He does, but he can’t look at you. He buries his head in the crook of your neck, and spears you with his cock. The fucking is rough, and you take it. It’s punishing penance and painful pleasure. You cling to him as he thrusts you over the cliff of ecstasy again, coming with you finally, and his spend pumps hotly into you. The physical relief from the torture is blessedly immediate. His hand ghosts over your lower abdomen where he’s just planted his seed. With his eyes closed, he touches his forehead to yours, then pushes roughly away and rolls off of you.

“Get up, get dressed, pack light,” he says, stone cold. “Between us we might get out of this dangerous trap. That’s all we need for now.”

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[whokilledjared]

the sluttiest thing a man can do is be himself. (& takes on social media)

Hi.

I'm lonely.

The moment I got "two weeks off school" in sophomore year, life went to 4x speed & I can't turn it off no matter how hard I try.

Maybe COVID-19 adolescence did numbers on me. Somewhere between the iPhone 5c and ChatGPT, 14-hour screen times have live-streamed to me a steady, homogenous death of culture.

Nothing is cool anymore. Nothing is sacred. Every movement is a trend, and every cult classic a sequel.

The value we place on things being beautiful, on being "cool," and our gatekept appreciation of how hard these things were to find: it's been co-opted, or perhaps stolen. It's been stolen by the new merchant class. "Disruptors" and "innovators" turning our lives into a burgeoning black mirror prequel. Soon, we'll graduate too, and we'll wring every morsel of value in each others' lives dry for cash.

Plain and simple, I think we're being manipulated.

Your dates are an algorithm. Your music is a social signal. And Zuck knows when you sleep.*

God. What the fuck are we doing???

“Individuation is becoming the thing which is not the ego, and that is very strange.” — Carl Jung

Recently, I deleted Instagram. My first impulse was to post a story or something, announcing my departure. But then, I thought that would be lame.

I got rid of my account, too. Kinda. Over 1 year, over 800 followers removed, and what remains of me is a little grey icon, and "JM_0000000010" where my name and face used to be.

yay.

There were many people I wish I could have been friends with, but I wonder, too, why I find myself so drawn to the validation of others. Does social media affect me worse, or do we all just choose to ignore it, languishing in private?

At any rate, this last year has almost felt like re-learning how to be a human being.

Personally, I think one of the biggest markers for maturity is when you become willing to disappoint the people you know in favor of what feels right to you, when you start to unravel the stories you’ve told yourself (or been told) about who you are and what you should be. In short, the sluttiest thing a man can do is be himself.

And sometimes, I think about every college student that has ever lived. My grandmother, my dad, and so on. Just consider for a moment all kids who graduated before 2010:

What was it like for the ones in 1940? To walk around, before a campus had computers? In 2006: To meet someone pretty, but forget their number? In 1999: To cram into dorms, and watch Seinfeld live on-air?

Would I, like my dad in 1988, have braved cold night, brisk wind, & landline phone-call just to knock and see if my friends were too busy to hang?

What stories could I tell if there was even the slightest chance of getting lost on the way home from a party?

Humans are social creatures. We crave our friends like water. To me, the clearest difference between Dasani and Instagram is that one of them comes in a bottle.

Yet despite these distractions and comforts we have in 2024, somehow, we still have engineering students. People who carve out time in their day to sit down, look at paper, and solve differential equations. But then, that's not so hard, is it? It just takes time. Precious, fucking, time.

At Meta, leagues and leagues of these engineers power behavioral scientists, who are competing for the highest salary. Their benchmarks? Your FOMO. Guilt. Anxiety. Obsession. The worse you feel, the more you engage with their content. The more you engage with their content, well, you're starting to get the point.

Try something for me: Open up Instagram, but don't tap anything. What happens? How many little animations? How many tiny nudges prompting you to get lost? Our home-pages are billion-dollar diving boards, hoisting us over engineered catacombs of subconscious quicksand.

My homepage is my FOMO, my envy, and my crushes. The pain and struggle of trying to be someone who I am not. My little existential crises, bundled-up, packaged, and shipped with a like button.

To abandon your social networks entirely, however, requires a safety net of close friends. After all, your friends are online, and you'd be miserable without them.

This is the problem with our monkey brains. Millennia of sociological natural-selection have made us quite great at feeling terrible. We're damn good at making tribal status games to play with, too.

Seeking refuge in quirked up septum piercings and boygenius listeners, my time in counter-cultural, alternative "scenes" between St. Louis and Tampa has shown me that even the weirdest of folks and the most removed can accidentally find themselves reduced to nothing more than high-school popularity contests. Even if I love them. Even if they're amazing people. We're human.

We can't "quit social media" as much as we can't "quit bottled water" Sure, we can, but it's inconvenient. And even without a bottle, we're still drinking water.

So I lost touch with my friends. I got no new updates on their lives. I forced myself into the inconvenience of not having a phone to reach for in fleeting moments of boredom. Suddenly, I was out of the loop. Suddenly, I was bored. And suddenly, nobody missed me. My only friends were the ones I had the time to text. Everyone else ... does not exist.

Weekends have become more valuable than ever. Without the empty social calories of seeing my friends' pictures, I find myself planning hangouts as often as my schedule allows. I have more lunches, more study sessions, and more is done in the company of less.

And I have the time to breathe.

And in this calm, I think I found my answer: it's my misplaced ambition. These fears of anxiety and people I thought I would miss, they seem represent something I want to see more of within myself. Something I want to develop, lean into more deeply, as an individual. And I think that's quite normal; to look out into the world and feel attracted to things we want to see more of. This is, I think, how everyone develops their own definition of beauty — and of coolness. It's largely the intersection of what we find most interesting, and what we want to see more of in the world. Because beauty and coolness, by definition, are rare and hard to find. If they were everywhere, nothing be beautiful, nor would anything be cool.

When we all turn into wrinkles and cataracts, bad backs and heart attacks, for a brief, glorious moment, our lives are going to flash before our eyes. In this moment, you'll see your story. The ultimate progression of you.

How much of that will be skibidi toilet and reaction clips? How much of that will be arguing on the internet? Can you tell me, just how much of your life will you have skipped over to pacify your intentionally-lowered attention span?

That girl whose number you couldn't find Those passing questions over coffee that you couldn't search on Google The boredom of a subway ride

Those are not inconveniences, they're what the older generations refer to as "life."

* (oh, but if you can't sleep, consider this aside: Google knows the angle you walk at, how fast you're walking, and they've got crowdsourced pictures of everywhere around you at all times of the day. fun bedtime thoughts <3)

[pandorafairy]

Finders Keepers

Neteyam x Daughter of Quaritch (first person)

Quaritch's daughter on Earth had cancer. As a last resort, she was put into a Avatar body and brought to Pandora. One night, she is sick of being stuck with the RDA and she sneaks out. Deep in the forest, she runs into a Na'vi boy.

Quaritch shoves his weapons into his pack as his squad loads up the helicopter behind him. His new body is somewhat familiar, despite being blue. He still has his scar and lethal eyes. He’s still my dad, even if I refuse to call him that.

My own body is still foreign to me: blue, tall, a tail, perked ears. I miss my human form, even if I was decaying, my body full of cancer. Quaritch found me when I was right on the brink, days away from dying. He told my mom he could help me, put me into an Avatar body like his where I could live longer. My mom was hesitant, she doesn't like Quaritch but she wanted me to have a life so she agreed.

Quaritch was hardly ever around growing up, he was way too career focused. He left my mom to do it all alone. But now, he has this newfound need to be a father. Maybe he feels guilty? Or maybe it's cause we're both blue. I don’t know, but either way he insisted I join him on Pandora since my Na'vi body will have no place on Earth. My mom didn’t want me to go but she had no choice; Quaritch always got his way.

Which means that I never get my way.

I cross my arms and stare at Quaritch. "I want to go with you."

“No,” he says gruffly as he jams his gun into it’s holster, “you’re not allowed out there.”

His voice echoes off the metal walls of the compound. “You can’t expect me to stay holed here!”

“Oh, yes I can.”

“I refuse to spend my life in this metal box!” I yell at him before lifting my mask and taking a puff of air. “It’s not made for me.”

“Your human body wasn’t made for you either, kid.” He doesn’t look at me when he says this but the words sting. I can’t help but think of my frail body and bald head. Quaritch turns and marches off towards the rest of his squad. I wish he would just let me out but he's so paranoid about the local Na'vi. He says they're dangerous.

"I'm going insane here!" I scream after him. He doesn't turn around as he disappears around the corner. God, sometimes I wish I had just stayed on Earth. Even if I had cancer, it's better than being here. At least there I had mom and friends. All I have here is a metal box, guns, robots, and psycho military freaks.

Speaking of, a group of them walk past me. Their camo uniforms are the only ounce of color in this place. They don't spare me a look as they pass but I know they see me. No one here dares to look at me. Maybe they're uncomfortable with my Avatar body? Maybe because Quaritch is my dad?

"UGH!" I scream, letting my frustration out. A few scientist looking people in white lab coats look in confusion. I stick my tongue out at them and take another inhale from my mask.

The thought of returning back to my small, windowless room, is enough to make me want to throw up. The hospital was better than this. My mom promised me it would be amazing here: the nature, the culture, the time with my dad (she forgot to mention that Quaritch happens to be an insane overprotective workaholic.)

I take a few steps towards my room before stopping. A few workers nearly ram into me. They step hastily over my tail, adjusting their hard hats before scurrying down the hall. Everyone here thinks I'm different. A freak.

I catch a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the steel walls. A strange blue figure stares back out me. I recognize the brown tank top and cut off shorts. But the swishing of a tail and the perk of ears; are still foreign. How can I ever know or even enjoy my new body if I'm forever trapped in here?

That's it. I'm going out. Screw whatever Quaritch has to say. I back track, immediately plotting the best way to escape the compound. Which soldiers to avoid, which ones I can bribe, and the best way to leave without a trace.

Quaritch might be furiouse but hey, he should've let me tag along.

~~~

Sneaking out was easier than I originally thought. I scuttle through an underground tunnel that the work cars use to get into the forest. I stay close to the walls, using my new sense of hearing to make sure no one is coming.

And of course, no one does. There probably isn’t a single person in this place that would notice if I went missing except Quaritch. I shove all those thoughts out my mind as I reach the end of the tunnel. Moonlight streams in from the end of it like a sigil of freedom.

My heart lurches in my chest. Finally, I can go outside. I take my mask off and tuck it into the waistband of my shorts. Chitters from animals I don’t recognize float through the tunnel.

I pause as I reach the archway that leads out into the night. The ground looks so soft, covered in greenery and plush plants. The trees are huge, they loom in front of me, making my heart soar. I haven’t been excited about something in so long.

I take one cautious step out, partially expecting for an alarm to go off. But nothing happens. I let a breath of relief followed by a little laugh. I’m outside!

I close my eyes and inhale deeply, smelling the freshness, pines, and the hint of something sweet that fills the Pandora air.

I open my eyes and take off into the forest. My eyes adjust naturally to the darker night and the two moons illuminate the path between trees. All the plants glow brightly and some even twirl as I pass by. All that time, I've been cooped up and missing all of this.

Animals call to each other as they swing through the trees. None of them approach me, they just swing by, seeing me as part of their ecosystem. A smile forms on my face as I keep running. I don’t think of anything. I just let myself enjoy this freedom, enjoy finally feeling at home in my new body

After awhile, I stop to catch my breath. My new body is filled with peace and serenity being in my rightful environment. I place my hand on a nearby tree and close my eyes. Maybe Pandora isn’t so bad.

I walk around the tree and halt, my breathe flying out of me. It’s a small clearing, covered completely by the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen. Long petals, all of them shining, some of them twirling slowly. A sweet aroma envelopes me. “Oh,” I gasp as I step slowly into the flower garden.

My mom would love these. She brought me tons of flowers when I was sick. My heart bangs at the sudden thought of her, alone in our small apartment. I reach forward and grasp a petal between my fingertips. It’s soft, much softer than I’d expected.

I think I could stay here forever and just get in lost in the beauty of it all. I mean, this is what my dad has kept me from? What is he so afraid of? I haven’t even seen a sign of the Na’vi…

“Bro, will you please just chill?” A voice cracks through the trees. I go rigid. It’s a boy’s voice. Young and adventurous. And definitely Na’vi. Great.

My hand shake nervously. I inch slowly to the ground before shuffling to the nearest tree where I stand and push myself flat against it, praying he won’t come this way.

“We need to go home,” another voice says, a more mature one, “it is past eclipse and dad will skin us.”

The voices sound like they're coming from my left but I don't dare to peek around the tree.

"Your such a wuss," the younger boy snaps. The voice is getting closer. My blood runs cold. I curse myself for never listening to Quaritch's lessons on how to fight.

Leaves rustle as the boys move closer to me. Please, please let them just walk by, I pray as I squeeze my hands together.

A branch snaps, piercing the air, followed by a loud smack and laughter.

"Ow," the younger voice cries, "Bro!" More laughter fills the air, presumably the older one. They must be brothers.

"You know bro," the young one starts, "I'll just do it anyway." The ground vibrates as footsteps sprint towards me. I go completely still.

The footsteps grow louder as the boy comes closer. I try not to think or breathe. There's a loud crashing from the other side of the tree. The boy runs through, sending a gust of air towards me. He didn't see me from my hiding spot.

I let out a breath of relief before patting the tree as though to say thank you. A moment of silence passes. My heart rate begins to slow. I take a few deep breaths. God, that was close.

I'm about to move away from the tree when a sharp spear shoves me back against the rough bark. A shocked gasp escapes my lips.

A boy stands before me, his fingers grasping the weapon and his amber eyes blazing. He's wearing a loincloth and woven headband where his ears lay flat against his skull. His lips are turned downward into a dangerous scowl.

My heart is banging against my chest. Quaritch was right. I shouldn't have come out here. I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

Suddenly, my neck stings. I let out a hiss as blood trickles down my neck. He just cut me! The boy doesn't say anything as he pushes his spear harder against my skin.

Fear races through my body. I don't want to die like this. I inhale sharply, ignoring the pain in my neck. "Please," I whisper as I slowly lift my hands up, "I don't mean any harm. I was just looking at the flowers."

A flicker crosses the boy's eyes but it's gone in an instant.

"I just wanted to see the beauty of the forest," I continue, my hands shaking.

The boy lifts his head slightly. His pupils widen as he studies my face. His eyes trail the line of my tanktop and shorts in disgust. Evidence of skypeople.

At least if I die, it will be in this amazing forest.

The boy goes still and he tilts his head as if he sees something in my expression. I meet his gaze, hoping to seem brave when a jolt runs through me. It feels like I've been electrocuted. His eyes light in surprise.

"Neteyam!" The younger voice calls from further in the forest. "Bro, let's go!"

Neteyam. He doesn't look away from my eyes. My body begins to feel warm and calm, despite the spear being held to my throat. It's like my body recognizes him. Like we've meet him before. His tail swishes slowly behind him.

"I'm for real!" The voice is louder. He's headed this way.

The boy, Neteyam, quickly shoves his spear away and takes a step back. I should feel relieved that the weapon is away but all I feel is the empty space where he once stood.

He shakes his head briskly, like he's trying to clear his mind.

"Dude," the young voice yells again, but I can hardly hear over the ringing in my ears, "dad is for sure gonna skin us now."

Neteyam looks towards the sound of his brother's voice. My tail flicks behind me, an instinctive movement I've never done before.

Neteyam turns his head towards me. "If you like these flowers," he says softly, "you'll like the ones under the Hallelujah Mountains."

He runs off into the forest before I have a chance to reply. He rustles through the leaves. Then, the low rumble of his voice mixes with his brother's until both of their sounds disappear and I'm alone in the forest.

You'll like the ones under the Hallelujah Mountains. My lips split apart into a grin. The warmth in my stomach is still there, fluttering out to my fingers and toes. Like my body is a magnet, fighting to find him again.

I push off the tree and make my way back to the compound. I should be worrying about sneaking back in or getting caught by Quaritch, but I don't. All I can think about is that boy. Neteyam. Who is he?

I don't even care. All that matters is that I see him again.

~~~

Thank you for reading <3

Ahhh, this was so fun to write!! I thought of this idea when I saw Avatar 2 again yesterday and I was like I have to do it.

I feel like this could be fun as a series?? I don't know, I do a lot of series so maybe this will just be a oneshot. Let me know what you think :)