#i can KINDA feel a burnout happening
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Love how busy your ask box is in the moment/gen
Oooh I'm glad! I'm just really energized right now I think. Like in general with life, not like I'm high off of sugar or something.
I guess I'm just happier than usual. Probably because I have a job and am finally starting to feel like an adult and no longer a kid or student.
Having a new media is also helping me a lot (and just drawing in general as I was pretty much not drawing for a while for some reason a bit ago).
But hey! Glad you like the busyness today! Hopefully it stays like this for a bit but I go back to work on Thursday so there will be some delay/cooling down soon :3
#eritalks#noart#asks#it def is a different vibe from my usual#i'll try to do more doodles or something#or random thoughts#but i'm not gonna force myself#because that is how i get burnt out#i can KINDA feel a burnout happening#but jumping from one project to the next is helping#i can either read a new media#doodle couples in a shitty but cute style#or work on comics!#or answer asks too lol#idk#just happy in general right now#and i guess that is bleeding into my posting habit#:3
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Half assed screens, but some of the glamours I might will use for Ieeha throughout the journey of Dawntrail!
#its funny cause im actually super nervous#in a way thats really similar to how i felt when heavenward dropped#im as prepared as i possibly can be i think for the way ieeha will look with the new graphics#while trying to remind myself to cling onto the hope of being able to mod him#maybe ill be positively surprised of how he looks but tbh i kinda doubt it with his key features being changed#but ill try to stay positive as much as possible at least#im sad that burnout + lack of PC made me miss out on so much of endwalker#i think thats why i dont feel ready for dawntrail yet... because i dont feel done with endwalker#but ill just do all the things im behind on after!!!!!!#ieeha de verral#ieeha#my screenshot#ffxiv glamour#also someone once pointed out i use the maid tights a lot#and they were right. but its still nowhere near how much i use the midan horn of healing#im serious its been the key feature of ALL of ieehas healer glams since...... when did midas drop? early 2016? since then#the field commanders gloves are my second most glamoured item most likely#especially since is for all classes.......#i want to use other headpieces but they either clip or arent visible under ieehas bangs#or they just look off#who knows what will happen in DT... maybe he'll find a new hairstyle or smth. he's had the same since like 2018#TIME SHALL TELL HEHE
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(๑╥﹏╥)੭ ♡
#❛ㅤ𓆩✦𓆪ㅤ:ㅤooc﹔ㅤㅤ/ㅤㅤchaos and aether simpery.#tbd /#ive been really Really low on social energy and Motivation in general#not kinda like in a burnout way! but close-ish#so i wanted to apologise for the time i take in getting back to messages / servers / threads#but also kinda like#appreciate how patient and understanding you all are with me ;;;;;;#i know a lot of us suffer from anxiety / depression / issues in general and i find it amazing how we're all trying our best#despite adversities and what comes our ways#i have this cyclical issue of burnout happening over and over and i dont remember my last genuine vacation#so it means a lot that i have friends and partners that can like! understand and wait for me ;;;;;;#it genuinely means a lot to me!!! makes me feel like i belong somewhere#despite its issues the genpact rpc was the one that im having the most fun in. and the one i feel like people understand#so thanks for being so lovely with me!!!#I'll slowly get back to DMs / threads / asks etc <333#just need to die a lil beforehand sksmflgmg kokomi is just like me frfr#vent /#just in case!
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KIKI'S DELIVERY SERVICE
#ramblings of a lunatic#MY FAV GHIBLI MOVIE FR#i was like. tearing up at the scenes that aren't even that emotional i am just. full of so much love for this movie fr#IT'S SO SWEET. IT IS SO SO SWEET AND SIMPLE BUT IT GETS ME. SHE GETS ME#and it's always good to refresh myself on the movies advice towards dealing with burnout#don't look at the thing you're burnt out on don't even THINK ABOUT IT find different shit to do for a week and have a ball#by the time you get back you'll feel better and remember why you loved xyz in the first place#it seems so simple but i genuinely struggle to internalize the message#I'm not normally given the luxury of taking breaks w/o losing precious time that could be spent working#but for hobbies and special interests and even hyperfixations (bc i can get burnt out on those if they happen to fast too intensely!!)#that's stuff i can take time off from#not entirely sure how (i am increasingly forgetting how to relax these days) BUT. i think some more ghibli movies might be a good start lol#maybe think about picking up a new book?? re-read some comics i haven't touched in ages. that kinda thing#anyway. patrick bateman meme voice. i have some gifsets to reblog
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"hE dOeSN't SoUnd LIke a tEEnaGeR" NOT ALL FUCKING TEENAGERS SOUND LIKE TODDLERS JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. THEY GAVE HIM THE VOICE BECAUSE OOH FUNNY MEME MAN MILES, GWEN AND PENI ARE VOICED BY ADULTS THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEIR CHARACTERS ARE
Sorry I'm having a fucking Lou moment
Unpopular opinion but I don't think Nicholas Cage was the best option for Noir's voice
#and then people complain that people are like oh hes 19 on their posts and then turn around and call me an idiot saying they called him 30#in the movie like BITCH YOU ARE DOING THE EXACT SAME THING BUT WITH NO REASONING BEHIND IT#listen i love spiderverse so much but noir is basically a joke through and through#they took him and went what if he was a total joke#even ham had serious moments in comforting miles. the best noir gets is wow this is traumatic and i love you guys#and everyone overlooks all his fucking lack of anything because ooh he said i love you isnt that great#as if spiderverse doesnt have male characters saying i love you all the time#peni also has this sort of problem but at least she actually has moments where she feels like a character and not a massive joke#spiderverse genuinely took a loudmouthed 17 year old with horrific anger issues and made him into a fucking silhouette of a noir detective#he deserves so much better. and i know they can do better! i wish they let him be emotional! i wish him saying he lost his uncle was less#eh it happened not much i can do about it. why is he so bland?#but the real spidey noir is passionate and aggressive and he doesn't just let things lie#im devastated because he's such an interesting character. sure every peter parker has anger issues but for noir it was what his entire story#revolved around. noir was angry at a world and a system he was stuck it that took everything from him that he couldn't change#and then he got the power to change it all with the price of putting himself in danger. he brings up his uncle at every possible opportunity#he loves his family so much he would turn to murder just to protect them. he loses everything in barely any time at all#and then he was just reduced into a funny hee hoo old man blocks emotions cuz violent#meanwhile im over here autistic highschool drop out recovering from burnout with massive anger issues who lost an astounding amount of#people in a short amount of time and is stuck in a world that hates my existence but i cant change it and maybe i see myself in him?#so maybe thats why i get defensive when people call him stupid or reduce him to just a joke#maybe thats why i headcanon him as autistic and genderfluid. maybe thats why i want to write them as more femme so that i can deal with my#own sort of femininity? because he's the only character that's ever had even a semblance of the brain shit ive got going on#i kinda wish he just wasnt in itsv.
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A little piece of heaven [Part 4]
Pairing: Wade Wilson x Original Female Character x Logan Howlett. Summary: In Wade's timeline, Iris is his supernice upstairs neighbor. In Wolverine's, she's his beloved dead wife. A/N: This is a Wattpad Fic with an original character of mine that you can find here. Warnings: Deadpool & Wolverine spoilers, kinda.
PREVIOUS PART.
Chapter 4: Wine, weed and Wade.
A week went by and she didn't hear much from Wade or Logan. She wondered if his new roommate had already figured out a way to murder him or if he'd gotten trapped in another reality all over again, yet she found the quiet good enough to begin grading her tests.
She got a carefully curated collection of sweet wine, a good stash of homemade cookies and an old Altoids box that she kept since high-school, with freshly ground weed. She was going to do just fine, she just needed a bit of Chappell Roan in the background and she was good to go.
Or hot to go.
Heh.
Iris didn't go out much on weekends. She usually just put on a good show and tried to retake the work she left during the week, like then, or listened to her playlist while she baked something, like she planned to do that afternoon. It's not like she didn't enjoy people's company, she was just much more comfortable alone, or next to Wade.
To be honest, her whole ex situation had made her a bit of an introvert.
But forty grades in and she was already starting to miss human interaction. And grading over 120 students, about an hour later, made her wonder what she was doing with her life.
She really needed a smoke.
Iris grabbed her cardigan, slipped on her flats and took a hold of the little Altoids box and her glass of wine before stepping out into her balcony. It was that time of the semester where every single student appeared to have lost all of their brain cells.
"Burnout, sugarplum?" she heard Wade's voice beneath her. She let out a sigh, smiling to herself, "Missing me already?"
"Feeling lonely without you" she played along dramatically, rolling a joint. There was a faint smile on her lips as she fidgeted with it in her fingers.
Wade chuckled, his voice carrying up to her. "Aw, come on, Rainbow Eyes. I was just about to raid your fridge. You know, for research purposes."
Iris rolled her eyes at that, imagining the ridiculous anecdote he would tell her once she inquired about his absence, "You craving my questionable left-overs, baby?"
She leaned over the balcony, just to check the reaction he had to the pet name. He looked up at her, mouth agape and then, slowly, he raised Mary Puppins in his hands, enough for her to gently lick what she reached of Iris' chin. Iris giggled loudly at that, and she could hear a frustrated groan from deep within's Wade's apartment.
"He's not taking this well, is he?" she whispered.
In response, Wade looked somewhere inside his living-room and yelled, "Can you shut up? I'm trying to flirt with your wife!"
Iris eyes widened at that and she could only see her friend disappear abruptly, being yanked by a clawed hand. Mary Puppins let a small cry when she was left on the floor, and Iris pouted at the thought, staying with her joint in hand curiously, to figure out what was happening downstairs.
She heard glass break, a few things being tossed aside and some muffled insults before she could realize there were at least 20 tests ungraded. She took a long drag of the joint and came back inside, barely able to imagine the chaos unfolding.
She paused the music, attentively trying to decipher the words being said. The rampage was somewhat comforting, and much more fun than any show she was starting to finish. She finished her joint as she stared at the student's name below her. Miles Morales.
Yeah, that was probably her favorite student. At least one kid who would get into college and appreciate her efforts to educate them.
She finished her joint, careful not to burn the papers. Then, she took a sip of wine and scribbled down the the few notes that praised the kid's wit.
He'd made a great fucking essay right at the end of the test. She smiled sweetly, correcting a few grammar mistakes and underlining the beautifully phrased answers Miles had written. Too focused to hear the heavy steps on the stairs, so the ring made her spill a considerable amount of red tint over the kid's test. She inhaled deeply.
She would have to photocopy it. Couldn't take the risk of anyone finding out she drank while grading, though she was pretty sure most of her colleagues did.
"Wha... What?!" she yelled out, a pinch of annoyance gripping her voice.
"Hey, you were the one giving me fuck me eyes ten minutes ago" She heard Wade's muffled voice let out, making her roll her eyes with a grin, "Don't play with my feelings like that!"
Iris stood up from her comfortable position in the floor and made sure that her knitted shorts were covering her butt cheeks completely, because lord knows what Wade would say if he saw all of that but, thinking it a little better, she raised the waistband and let it hug her curves comfortably. Let him stare for a while.
"Quit fighting or...?"
In front of her, as she swung the door open, where both her best friend and the man of her dreams (literally, that is). Iris raised her eyebrows, wondering what could she possibly have done to deserve this amusing visit, but Logan scanned her figure thoroughly and looked away, and she was once again self-conscious of the length of her shorts.
"'Sup" she tried to appear nonchalant.
"My, my, my..." Wade let out, giving her a little spin, "Look at you, tripping and working. I bet your students love you."
She giggled, stepping aside to let them in, "My students don't give a shit."
Her friend hummed in answer and took in the sight of her apartment. She guessed that, after a week (a bit more if she included the time he was out fighting the TVA) he couldn't see the faint changes she had worked on. A few more shelves, the baby blue paint all over the walls.
It was only a matter of time, she had bought the apartment after all.
"Did you do this all by yourself, sweet cheeks?"
"Who would've helped me, Wade?" she let out, turning to the fridge and walking over to promptly search what she knew Wade was looking for, food. And, just for the sight of moody Logan right behind him, two beers.
He looked good, Iris realized as she gave him the bottle with a gentle smile. I mean, Logan always looked good but it was even better when she was herself, looking at him through her own eyes; she wondered what could her version of that universe have done to put a ring on his finger.
Her ogling was interrupted by Wade putting an arm around her shoulders. She could see the reaction Logan had at that, his jaw clenching, his fists giving a silent warning. It was a lie if Iris said she didn't like that, so she rested her head on Wade's shoulder.
It was impressive how his mouth opened and Logan was pure rage. He said something about Iris' fuckable thighs, she wasn't really sure, but she knew it was more in a playful tone, than a seductive one. Either he was trying to get himself killed, or make his friend objectify her.
"I'm going to finish grading" she stated, gently nudging Wade to the table, "Eat your food, kids!"
He grinned happily in response, getting a hold of Iris' cabinets to take out the plates he was going to wash afterwards with the rest of her dirty dishes, because he wasn't a fucking animal.
"You're a teacher?" Logan inquired.
Iris, already settled on the floor (right in front of her very comfortable couch), looked up at him mindlessly and nodded. She just had five grades left. She was so going to finish them and take a nap, but the gaze burning her skin was a bit too distracting.
"What?" she giggled playfully, "What's so mind blowing about it?"
He opened his mouth to answer but nothing really came out. She realized there was definitely something mind blowing about it, but chose against prying too much and gave him a kind smile instead, taking a sip of what was left of her wine.
She wondered if the ring in his hand had her name engraved on it.
A/N: I'm sorry if it's too serious for a Deadpool Fanfiction but, well, you're in for an angsty polyamory slowburn, with a bit of comic relief interruptions.
#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#logan howlett fanfiction#wolverine fanfiction#deadpool fanfiction#marvel#logan howlett angst#logan howlett fluff#kind of a soulmates au#soulmates au#logan howlett smut#wade wilson x logan howlett#deadpool x wolverine
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─── multiple characters x reader
characters included: bruno, joesph(not the old man ya'll, he is kinda bad tho ngl), josuke, jotaro, giorno, mista
c.w. when ur sad/upset/overthinking/idk, aged up, fluff, comfort, established relationship, no y/n usage, hcs, jjba, some italian pet names (2), a few swear words
- it's been a while since i posted jjba content, it's also been a while since i posted overall. this probably isn't much but for right now until i recover from this burnout, it's all i have. i hope you enjoy :)
at times like these, bruno notices almost immediately that something's up when he walks into your shared home and is met with an eerie silence. it's not long before he's rushing into the bedroom in search of you, only to find you curled up in bed—hidden under covers as you trembled and sniffled lightly. his touch is gentle when he rests his hand on your quivering shoulder, voice even softer as he speaks—asking about what's troubling you.
"what's wrong, mia cara" whether you tell him or not, he encourages you to release whatever tears remain as he holds you, giving you a shoulder to cry on and lots of forehead, nose, and cheek kisses as he tries to soothe you. once you've calmed down, he'll ask if there's anything you want—either a necessity or just something you want, he's getting it without a second thought. he just loves you so much and wants to do all he can for you.
now joesph...is kind of a jerk when he finds you crying at first. he'd baby talk you as he pinches, squishes your cheeks, and flicks your forehead or nose while laughing his ass off, but when he notices that you're not giving him any snappy remarks, slapping his hands away, or laughing with him, that's when he knows something's wrong and he's actually worried.
and when he starts asking you what happened, he almost sounds like a fly that's been buzzing in your ear for god knows how long, but you know he means well, especially when he's giving you the warmest and tightest hug he can—holding you against his chest as you let his heartbeat calm your uneven breathing. he's definitely babying you for the rest of the day and he might tease you a teeny tiny bit, but only to make you laugh.
josuke would probably think he did something to cause you to feel this way and if that's the case, bro's apologizing profusely (please, he's so sorry). whatever the problem might be, expect lots—and i mean lots of short sloppy kisses all over your face while he whispers tons of "I'm sorry" or "it's ok" onto your face. he might refrain from asking what the problem is both out of fear and because he doesn't want to cross boundaries or upset you even more.
but he'll spoil you rotten for the entire week cause he wants you—his everything—to feel better and he wants you to know how much he loves you. cuddles, kisses, hugs, naps together, movie night, whatever the hell you want is exactly what he's gonna give you maybe even before you ask. (he'd probably cry w you, on a serious note).
i think that jotaro would sit there and wait for you to tell him what's wrong so he'll know if it's serious or not—if it's serious he'll stay and listen to what you have to say, but if it's not like you're crying because something is out of stock or something, he's leaving the room and not even sparring you a second glance.
anyway, if you need any type of physical affection, he'd be able to tell from your body language or if you ask him for it but either way, he's not gonna not give you what you want...he's a really good listener, would literally sit there and listen to all that you have to say with no interruptions and he'd cuddle with you until you fall asleep cause he needs to know that you're actually okay, but he's not leaving your side. at all.
ok listen, not exactly like josuke, but i think giorno would be such a sweetheart. he'd ask if you'd wanna talk about it and would be content listening to whatever you say to him while he's holding you in his arms to bring your frantic mind to a slow so you can focus on what you want to say. would definitely cuddle with you in bed—you'll pass out in like less than 20 minutes so yeah.
mista would be so worried but at the same time he's asking who did it with sex pistols in hand (bro's ready to kill a bitch for you). "amore mio, who do i need to kill?" "mista, please don't kill anyone..." he's drowning you in nothing but love (kisses, cuddles, hand-holding, etc). he'd let you wear his hat or play with his hair to calm you down if that's what you want. you're getting spoiled. no, if's and's or but's, you're getting spoiled. want food? he's got it. wanna watch something? the tv's already on. wanna nap? he's already waiting in bed. he'd also let you cry on his shoulder for as long as you need and he'll give you back rubs too. :((
#jotaro smut#jotaro x reader#jotaro x you#bruno bucellati x reader#bruno bucciarati x reader#giorno giovanna x reader#giorno x reader#josuke x you#josuke x reader#joseph joestar#joseph joestar imagines#jjba x reader#joseph joestar x reader#joseph x reader#joseph imagines#jotaro imagines#jotaro kujo imagines#jotaro kujo x reader#josuke imagines#josuke higashikata imagines#guido mista x reader#mista x reader
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Love in the Time of Socialism
joost klein x artist!reader
art, mush, and ramblings about life
warnings: depression (ish), burnout, reader character in some vague mental health funk
word count: 2k
a/n: slight prequel to blue is the colour of your eyes but can be read as stand alone. just same artist reader. vaguely romantic but just ramblings and getting feelings out haha. started this when I was in more of a bad mental state (lol) but im fine now so it got kinda tame by the end of it. still not proofreading anything
title from the song Love in the Time of Socialism by Yellow House
Rpf below the cut—
Normally Joost has to call you because its the only way you will actually look at your phone. Its more often that not you find yourself fixated on planning out your next project, and your friends have to force you back into reality. There was that one time no one had heard from you in over a week and thought you were dead, when you were just working. You hadn’t realized how many texts you missed and apologized for scaring your friends half to death. Especially Joost.
So now you leave your ringer on, and now they call.
Tonight, however, Joost calls and you aren’t in your studio. You are in your bed, where you have been for the entire day. and also most of yesterday. There isn’t a reason in your head specifically why this has happened. you MEANT to get up. Theres a list of chores and things to do just sitting on your desk, but you woke up late, so now nothing will get done. At some point it just became too stressful to even get up and look at it. You roll over and stare at the contact picture of him, smiling with some dumb fish eye lens he thought was funny. You debate not picking up at all.
But you can’t ignore him.
“Hi Joost.” your voice came through the phone more hoarse than intended when you answered, you don’t remember the last time you talked to someone. “Whats going on?”
“the others wanted to go out for drinks tonight, you hadn’t responded so I wanted to check you were joining us.” You could imagine him rocking back and forth on his heels in the middle of his living room while he talked, it was either that or pacing around.
“uhh..” Drinks at a bar was the last thing on your mind. In any other situation you would have loved to be around your friends, but right now you just needed to avoided as much as possible. “Not a good night, tonight. Sorry, I’ll have to join you guys next time.”
Joost felt like something was off, you sounded tired. “Is everything okay?”
“I’ll be fine I just… shit brain day. bad brain thats all. It happens.” You did your best to summarize how you felt without actually admitting anything, you weren’t sure how to explain anything anyway.
“ Oh Im sorry, would it be good, if I came over? I can keep you company, if thats okay?”
“you don’t have to, I’ll be fine tomorrow. I want you to have fun. ” you insisted, but he pressed on.
“I don’t mind, the group would understand. Have you eaten today?”
“Like… a meal? yes, or well, no. I had a soda..” You glance at the half drunk soda from the night before, now flat. “and uhhh..”
“I’ll pick something up.” You could hear him on the other end gathering things together, keys, wallet, probably his ipad.
“.. thank you. I’ll see you in a bit, I guess.”
-
Joost knocked on your door about an hour later. In that time you were able to get out of bed and make your way to the bathroom to change and make yourself somewhat presentable in front of a guest, and to the kitchen to make coffee despite it being 8pm.
You opened it to see Joost with a sheepish smile as he extends his arms out for a hug. “Hi.”
“Hi Joost.” you take the step to hug him, feeling his body heat contrast with the cold nighttime. “I’m glad you’re here.” the two of you head inside to your living room where he empties his bag of take out to reveal a couple different thai dishes and egg rolls. It was hard to not admit you weren’t at least a little bit hungry.
The two of you ate in mostly silence, making small talk about different projects you two have going on, or the fact that the two of you were in between projects. He done with touring for the time being and in the process of working on a new album. You loosely avoiding talking about any current work plans but mentioned one or two paintings you finished for a private gallery commission last month.
“ Just some paintings of animals and nature-ish symbolism. Honestly my heart wasn’t really in that one, but it payed the rent so.” you shrug and shove noodles into your mouth.
“Well now you have the time to work on your own stuff, right?” he commented, leaning back into your couch and looking down at you sitting on the floor instead of any of your own furniture. “Draw whatever your heart desires.”
“I mean I guess.. Im just glad to be done with the oil paints for now. I swear i think I was gonna die in my studio from all the chemicals. I dunno, I finished that whole project last month, I haven’t really been very productive since then.” you trail off and Joost gets a concerned expression on his face.
He sinks down from his spot of the couch to join you in the floor. The fluffy rug brushing against his legs as he adjusts his new sitting position.
“Its okay to take a break, you know.”
“I know I know, I just get frustrated. I never seem to have my energy directed towards the right thing. Whenever I have all those big projects from other contractors, I can brainstorm and think of all these interesting ideas I wanna work on, but I can’t because then I would get behind on the art Im being paid to do.”
“mhm.” he nods, to indicate he’s following along.
“ And then whenever Im done with those projects, I just get… tired. and my focus is gone. and Everything just feels…” you gesture the last bit with your hands, scrambling your fingers, to imply your thoughts. You aren’t looking at him, but you can still see him nodding in your peripherals. Joost always seemed to understand your thinking and explanations to things, even if you thought they were messy.
“Do you want to try painting right now?” he asks. you just shrug your shoulders.
“I don’t know what I would paint.”
“You can paint our dinner, or, or yourself, or your plants maybe?” he suggested and stands up. “Can I paint too?”
“Oh we’re actually doing this?” Not that you didn’t want to, but this self doubt had creeped into your mind again. That failing to produce something decent would prove that you’ve lost all your talent, your skill.
“yea we can have a little painting party!” he chimed, but he hesitated walking over to your studio to grab stuff, still giving you the space to reject his idea.
you looked away and started nervously tapping your fork against the table.
tap tap tap tap
“…sure. We can use my watercolors, Ive been wanting to use them more often anyway.”
the coffee table became a little more cluttered as you set up the paints for the two of you. Joost using an old set 24 pans and you using a newer set of watercolor tubes you were gifted last year and never opened. You watched as Joost immediately dipped his brush in water and started activating the blue paints, spreading it onto his paper in big random strokes.
“what are you painting?”
“not sure yet, maybe im painting you.” he looks up and smirks. you scrunch your nose up.
“why are you using so much blue. am I a smurf?” you joke and he just shrugs and points to your own paper.
“Just mess around, can’t be any worse than what im doing.”
tap tap tap tap tap tap
you fidget with your own brush for a few seconds lo get before grabbing a big mop brush and wetting your paper with clean water. Taking your smaller brush again, you pour out a small amount of yellow and mix it up with some more water. You hesitate for a moment longer before letting the brush lightly touch the surface, creating a burst of colour on the paper as the colour seeps onto the page. You make a few more random marks before switching to another warm colour and repeating the process, now watching the colours bleeds and mix into each other. You look at Joost paper and see that he is actually now trying to paint you, the blue fortunately was able to be mostly contained to the background.
“Do you ever think about what you would do if you weren’t a musician?” you ask.
“I dunno I think after this I could have a pretty successful art career.” he teases but sees in your face the question is more serious. “I don’t know. I started off with youtube, but if I wasn’t doing that… its hard to think about what my life would be like if I didn’t follow this path.”
“I always have this feeling deep down, that I made a wrong choice somewhere along the line. I was thinking about going to school for psychology, I also wanted to work with animals at one point, be a vet. I enjoy art, don’t get me wrong, but I just worry that in making it my job Ive just drained all the passion I had for it.”
You let the paper dry before staining the page with lines of dark burgundy, creating hands and a human heart. he hums as he listens, not adding anything, but simply letting you vent. beginning to piece together your mood from earlier. “I don’t have any jobs lined up right now, which is what Ive been waiting for, to work on my own stuff, yknow? I haven’t had the time ive wanted to make something for myself for a while. But now I just feel, I feel like ive been frozen.”
“things seem to be okay right now. I like what youve made. ” you look down and see the scribbles youve made with your paint. hands clasped over a broken heart. you shrug and smile softly, signing the bottom.
“Just a scribble, you can have it if you want.” You hand the paper over to him. “thank you for coming by, its… its nice being around you. Helps a bit.”
Joost takes the paper and studies it for a second. “I really like it, maybe I should come by more often.”
“If you bring the food we can have art nights whenever you want.” he holds up his paper. The blue bleeding into your skintone and hair since he didn’t wait for anything to properly dry. “I might stick to my ipad though, I don’t know why you like this paint.” he scrunches his nose at it. you laugh and it makes him smile.
You notice for the first time how bright his eyes look when he smiles, but you brush the thought away.
-
“Feeling a bit better?” he asks as he lingers by the door on his way out.
“a bit. like I said It was just a mood, I was gonna be fine tomorrow most likely… I still appreciate you coming over.”
“Don’t ever be afraid to call or text okay? Im always here to talk if you need. or just to listen.”
“definitely. Ive been meaning to uh, talk to someone about all this stuff anyway, you’re not a professional but ill keep it in mind.”
he grins and goes in for one last hug. you feel him slightly squeeze you and linger a little longer than usual before letting go. With one last glance he waves and head off. You see him pull out a cigarette for the walk back. It takes you a second to close the door. standing there watching him walk off until he turns a corner and disappears. Closing the door you sigh and go the clean up your living room.
You notice he left the portrait he drew of you. signed at the bottom with a smiley face next to his name.
It gets hung up in your studio above your desk.
#joost klein#joost klein x reader#joost fanfic#joost klein fanfic#joost klein x you#rpf#eurovision#artist!reader#vague mental state#mental health issues#whoops#mush#i hate endings#no beta we die like men
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I’m curious- and as far as I know, this hasn’t been asked already?- does anybody ever pick on Donnie? Or just straight up bully him, whether it’s physical or just verbal?
also- if another question isn’t too much- does Donnie ever go into autistic burnout? If so, how does he, and his brothers, deal with it? Surely, Donnie would feel awful and become behind in his work…
Ooooh, excellent question!
There's a bit of nuance (especially once he's older), but yes, Donnie did get picked on when he was younger. It was never "as bad" as it could've been, since Donnie had some special circumstances going for him-- Raph always being very protective of him for one thing, and being favored by the Hidden Hollow's leader for another-- but there was definitely some bullying going on, especially from other Tinker fairies. Not only were other Tinkers jealous of Donnie's talent, but he was also physically disabled, so.... yeah. People are awful.
I imagine it would've been mostly verbal bullying, but I can also picture other fairies threatening to push him off of high places just to scare him (before he designed his wing brace, ofc). Probably one of the biggest reasons why Donnie doesn't really interact/work with other Tinker fairies. Things definitely got easier for him once he was older and built himself a way to fly-- and it helps that by that point, Raph was pretty infamous for being big + strong + overprotective-- but he had a rough time as a kid.
Yes, Donnie does occasionally get autistic burnout. I always like to base his experiences off my own, so the answer to how he deals with it,,,,, is. that he kinda??? doesn't??
Can't spoil too much, but Donnie is in the position where he can't fall behind on his work. He's not allowed to. If he does, then bad things happen. So what does he do when he gets burnout? He forces himself to keep going and abandons all other activities that could drain his energy-- hobbies, family time, self-care-- and focuses solely on his work. It'll literally become the only thing he does. He only stops when one of his brothers inevitably pick up on it, and then Raph takes over by bargaining with the Higher Ups to get Donnie a break. Mikey and Leo are kinda in the dark about what Donnie's job really is, but ofc they'll still drop everything to try and help him rest (even if Donnie and Leo don't have the best relationship atm-- more on that later hehe).
there's so much I have planned for Donnie... he kinda embodies the idea of, like, "good people doing bad things for good reasons".
thank you for the questions!! :D
#rottmnt fairy au#listen i love mikey angst#but donnie angst just has so much flavor#i kin him too much to leave him alone#asked and answered
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it's not something strange or unique to say that after the last haikyuu movie, most of us got into it again, but at the same time, I know for sure that I'm not the only one who benefits the most from this re...union.
I went to see the haikyuu movie alone, and at first, it didn't hit me that much. maybe it was because I couldn't help but wonder how much I would have enjoyed it with my best friend, but we are grown-ups now and long distance.
after a couple of days, the internet was full of haikyuu content again, just like during lockdown, and because of that, I also got into it again and realized how much of a masterpiece it is.
haikyuu is well known, but in my opinion, it is underestimated and categorized by others as just a silly volleyball-sport anime. it saddens me so much that there are so many people who will never get to embrace this piece of art.
Furudate not only created a coming-of-age story, a story that inspired and still inspires generations to fight for their dreams, to engage in the complex mess of relationships, teamwork, and partnerships. haikyuu teaches you that if you really do have a dream, and if you are really ambitious, if you work hard for it, your time will come too. but it also teaches you that not choosing to be great is not a tragedy; your dreams of what a good life means can be different from the ideals of others: "life is unfair, but damn it, at the same time, it is really fair too."
so why did I go on writing about this? because I can't comprehend how haikyuu manages to be there for me at the best time—or the worst, better said—how it really took its "comfort anime" title seriously for me. I started haikyuu in my last year of high school: extremely stressed, depressed, and anxious, so scared of what the upcoming end would mean for me that I'd tricked myself into living by coming to the conclusion that I'd simply not make it to 18 if I didn't see a future for myself. it seemed only fair and the universe would do its thing, no? I know, kinda depressing and triggering, but it did help that miserable me then, it did help but not in the way I prayed it would. the universe didn't send me "death," it sent me life and hope through haikyuu. feeling so empty, so bland for such a long time, haikyuu managed to make me laugh and cry. it doesn't sound like much, but real ones know what I'm talking about. seeing their connection, their ambition, the troubles and feelings I was so desperate to put into words right in front of me saved me from my misery. I began to wish to live, to wish to be like them, to wish to fight, to wish to connect again with people.
now, after almost 4 years, I'm in my last year of uni. the main reason for my depression back then in high school was because I didn't know what to do with my life, what uni and career to choose. hell, I didn't know I would take this path until last autumn, but here I am, on my way to becoming a teacher. it's hard, really hard, but right now, after the new movie, I finally committed to start and finish the manga even though I knew bits and pieces of what happens. it was the best time to read it now. over these 3-4 years, I pondered why I couldn't start getting into the manga and see for myself what happens, but damn it was the best time to read it now. seeing them go all out on their path, learning that in order to succeed you need to fight and fight and fight, to push through, to overcome your limits, to push yourself, to not take it easy if you really want it, came at the best time as I got into a slump and a burnout from learning too much but also not learning enough. I've got to see all of the characters continuing to be pros while fighting for their way, but also choosing to let go of something they once loved in order to live a normal life.
haikyuu is like a reminder that there is more to life than just your high school/childhood years, that your path could take a 180-degree turn at any point, but at the same time, it makes you appreciate those times and not want to sweep your childlike wonder, your growth, and mistakes under a rug. Furudate was a genius for creating haikyuu, and I really hope and pray that haikyuu will continue to be there, to comfort and save future generations until the end of time.
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#manga#anime#karasuno#nekoma#fukurodani#aoba johsai#hinata shouyou#kageyama tobio#oikawa tooru#kozume kenma#bokuto koutarou#miya atsumu#fly#jump#my writing#yapping
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Choose a little hat. What's in store for you in your career this year.
Pile 1 - light blue
Working in a group will be succesful, the communication, the whole community feels good here. Creativity is flowing, you will have a lot of good ideas. Be confident, you have all ability to be succesful. But at one point, there will be a better option, or just something bad will happen. After that it's possible that you will even change your job. Or it's just a burnout and you will need a little vacation. Feels like a writer's block kinda. You need a little rest to get back your inspiration. It can be that there will be some disagreement in the workplace, some gossip or there will be a new boss? It's really chaotic at that point. It feels a little long, 1-2 months even. Even if you are not going to change jobs, you will probably go to another department in the company, or something a little bit bigger change will happen. But after that things will be calm and good again.
Pile 2 - dark blue
I think there are a little healthy competition here, but it feels like everybody wants to do their best. I don't feel it's really toxic. Even if someone is a little more agressive, you will be confident in your ability. If you doubt yourself in any way, you really shouldn't. Things are very stable here, everything is good. There will be either a big project or some big opportunity, and it will be very succesful. If you want to have a higher position, a promotion, there's a very good chance you will get it! You can change jobs, if you want, you will get accepted. But if you don't want, it's okay, it's not like you needed to. You will probably have more money than before, either a higher salary or you get a promotion, but you can even buy something you really wanted.
Pile 3 - green
It's either that you will have a new boss or coworker, or some of you can change jobs too. But I think it's more likely that with that new member, things will change a little. Or something in the company will change, the business policy, or something like that, a bigger change. Maybe there will be a cooperation and it will be very good. A lot of success here, very creative period. You will be passionate or passionate again to work. A lot of new ideas. Maybe you will travel too a few times, it feels like a further training or something like that, a conference, negotiation. There are some good news too. A very stabil workplace. Good salary. Your hard work will pay off.
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anyways as i mentioned earlier here is my absolutely nuts 'analysis' of Boboiboy having autism, and how each of the seven elementals kinda showcase a heightened version of an autism symptom-
so we're gonna go down in order (of manifestation for the elements)-
Boboiboy himself- he's just got the vibe, y'know? But also; it's been established he had no friends prior to moving in with his grandfather, which, y'know, is quite strange for a "normal" kid his age. He also tends to look at the people around him to know how to react in certain social situations (usually the person he looks to is Gopal which. Isn't always the best choice). Also the strong sense of justice is obvious (including that he goes so far as to help villains as well). (Yes this can be an autism symptom).
Halilintar (Thunderstorm). hear me out. Halilintar manifested due to overstimulation. I mean obviously the phobia of balloons is a huge factor here- but being in distress due to loud sounds is exactly one of the things that causes overstimulation for autistic people (could contribute to why he has this fear in the first place). One of the ways people might react to overstimulation is by becoming irrationally angry. Basically what I'm saying is that Halilintar spends most of his time on the edge of a meltdown-
Taufan (Cyclone). autistic joy. listen LISTEN. it's DIFFERENT from other people's joy, okay? a lot of autistic people experience emotions very intensely, it can full out take over you. also as far as i remember (it's been a while) he was the only one who had such an intense reaction to the mood changing potion- sure, the other people who had it were locked in one emotion, but none of them went as wild as he did- because he felt it a lot more intensely.
Gempa (Earthquake). i will admit, i struggled for a moment with Gempa- but honestly i think it's because he is, in my opinion, the one who's the most similar to OG Boboiboy. other than the heightened need to protect, which likely includes the sense of justice, I think Gempa is the one who masks the most out of all the elements. This is also why he seems to be the most neutral element.
Blaze and Ice. I'm doing these two together, because technically, their origin points are from the same thing: Burnout. It's just two very different responses to it. On the one side, Blaze is trying to, ironically enough considering the name, prevent burnout, by relieving stress (by doing things in the middle of night while no-one is looking and there's no pressure of social interaction). When there is too much stress, he falls into an overstimulated state similar to Halilintar's. On the other side, Ice represents the more depressed side of burnout- aka what happens after you actually burn out. It's why he's tired all the time.
Duri (Thorn). Okay so technically Thorn first manifested in battle but we're ignoring that. His tier 1 manifestation, as we all know, was mainly most definitely because Boboiboy got a concussion- but! Here's the thing; I don't think the concussion is why Thorn acts the way he does (though it's probably a part of it). I think, Thorn is just unmasked. The others all mask on some level, but Thorn just, doesn't. He doesn't really care how others might perceive him if he does 'childish' things or says things that no-one else understands because they didn't make the same connections he did, and he certainly doesn't care that deadpan telling someone their outfit is terrible might hurt their feelings, it doesn't even occur to him. He doesn't mask at all.
Solar. Again, technically manifested during battle. However once again we are ignoring that. It was established that the manifest condition for Solar (as Light), was for the elemental master (Boboiboy) to "expand their knowledge", and "read more". And, well, I know Boboiboy specifically read a bunch of science and history books and stuff, but honestly I don't think it really would've mattered what he chose to use to expand his knowledge, because Solar's main autistic trait is special interest. Because Boboiboy mainly focused on science and stuff, that became Solar's special interest, hence why he rambles off about formulas and stuff, and why he likes doing experiments. He hyperfixates on that stuff.
now. i could do the fusions... but honestly i haven't thought about the fusions enough to draw conclusions, so we're sticking with this
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Okay I have finally thought of an ask! Not sure if you remember me or not but that's okay. It kinda has to do with the summoning through pacts. I was wondering if you could write something along the lines of an MC who is usually calm, but a MC having a panic attack or is just scared and accidentally summons a brother? I'd like to request all of the brothers or even the dateables but I don't want to ask that much. Do whoever you want with this ask if you do it at all! ❤️❤️
Hi I totally remember you and never forgot this but got way too in my own head about it. I think I crawled back out now. Thanks for being patient with me. ♥ So first of all, I love the concept of accidentally summoning someone to you. Sure, the actual summoning spell is great, but the idea of panic-summoning and maybe not even fully intentionally? Amazing. I started writing how they'd comfort you but got too in my head trying to do everyone (and not feel like i was rehashing Burnout), so I have a few that are spawning future updates to Burnout (for the new side characters), and then some one-offs I'll share as I finish them as well. But! Here are some thoughts I had on alternative summonings when upset.
Characters: Everyone! :) and a GN!MC (reader) Rating: G Word Count: ~2.3k Tagging: references to MC struggling mentally/emotionally, some fluffy affection, mostly a think piece on unintended summoning. Spoiler warnings for OG game, most notably for end of season 2, a bit of season 3, and vaguely part of season 4. Nothing too big, but there nonetheless.
Lucifer's Ring of Light is a perfect fidget piece. Spinning it around your finger, rubbing your thumb along the band, pressing on the edges of the stones to let the dull pinch ground you. It's always there on your finger, always present, always twinkling in the corner of your eye as a reminder you aren't alone. It is not his any longer, but that doesn't mean he isn't still aware of it, that a little piece of him isn't still present in a little piece of its inherent magic. And when you're spinning it and digging it into your palm and distressed, he feels an echo of that pain. It pulls him to you. Perhaps, in your own way, you're admitting you need his presence, his strength, his help, and he is not about to start abandoning his loved ones now.
With Mammon's keychain of that chocolate lizard, your thumb knew all the grooves, the smooth spots and the rough ones, the little spot where paint was chipped away that you knew you shouldn't pick at but it just happened anyway, your nail catching on the rough edge. You fidget with it when anxious because you know Mammon used to fidget with it just the same, and isn't that comforting, to know that even a powerful ancient fallen angel would run his thumb along the very same ridges you do? It's almost like you can still feel the warmth of his touch there. And you can't really think your First Man ain't gonna know you as well as he knows himself, can you? That he doesn't know when you need him, when you're tuggin' on the pact like that?
Leviathan's script he gave you? You've memorized it by now. In times when everything is spiraling, you remember your favorite lines, the ones that remind you to stay strong. You recite them to yourself between shaking breaths. Because when you can't be strong and cool and calm yourself, sometimes it helps to put yourselves in the shoes of Henry, the shoes of the Romantic Lead, the shoes of the characters written to always have a happy ending. It is, you realize, the same way Levi puts himself in the shoes of the Lord of Shadows, wrapping the cool-clever-badass-strong cloak around him as an armor. There's no Lord of Shadows without his Henry, and there's no you without him. And just like how in book six, the Lord of Shadows gets accidentally bound to Henry with a spell and is able to feel when Henry's in need and the Lord of Shadows leaves his lair without knowing where he's really going just knowing that he's needed and he ends up following this magical instinctive pull to find Henry and get to him just in time to save him from his enemies who were-- ...well, let's just say that Levi won't leave you to fight your mind alone for long.
Satan wasn't wrong that cats are perfect for calming the emotional storm inside you. They're good little listeners, and their company is a great distraction from the voices in your head. Watching the little fuzzballs roll around, or nap in a sunbeam, or prowl through the grass, it distracts you from all the frustration and anxiety and worries. Whether it's watching neighborhood cats, or visiting a cafe, or popping into a shelter, you've taken to Satan's favorite hack for handling your wayward emotions. On the really bad days, it's nice to know you can vent and cry to them and they won't judge you or tell anyone your secrets. But did you forget, MC, the stories about cats that traverse the realms? They won't ever tell anyone, but they might wander from you to their favorite place in the Devildom and they might headbutt a certain blond demon's shin and chirp for him to follow them. They are, after all, very good listeners. And so is he.
With Asmodeus, you look at the photos of him on your phone, at your selfies together and how big you smiled beside him. You blink away burning tears to focus on how he looks not at the camera but at you, his body angled not to show his best side (which is every side of course) but to press always closer to you, and how no matter where you two were or what was happening your smiles were always so bright and genuine with him. When everything feels like too much and not worth it and you feel trapped and cornered by situations beyond your control, you find yourself clutching your phone and swiping through hundreds of pictures of laughter and kisses and hugs and twirls and snuggles and you whisper a promise that one day, soon, we'll be together again. Sooner than you expect, of course, because did you really think that he wouldn't feel your burning need for him across realms, hon?
Beelzebub just has to be comfort food, our precious glutton. When life without your demons is getting you down, it's the salty snacks, the sweet treats, the tubs of ice cream with the chunks of something extra to dig for like buried treasure. And whenever you indulge, you can't help but think of your gentle giant and what he'd have to say about everything. He'd be happy you're eating, of course, and then what would he think of your human world snacks? Which makes you think of your favorite Devildom snacks, and that just hits you with a fresh wave of homesickness. But somewhere out there, a realm away, one particular Avatar just gets this feeling, you know? Like the way he knows when Belphie is craving quetzalcoatl brains, or is napping in the garden. Just that instinct. And his instinct is telling him you need your favorite cupcakes. Surely Lucifer will understand how vital it is he takes these three dozen cupcakes to the human world right now. And if he doesn't, well, that argument with his brother can wait until after your craving is satisfied.
Belphegor of course is our star-gazing boy, and while you like the idea of looking into the sky to seek out any possible shared stars to look at with him, you can't always see the stars at night everywhere, and the human realm has day and night cycles that hide them for at least half the day anyhow. For Belphie, you have a pillow from him (that he either gifted or didn't complain about your stealing) that you keep with you -- not for sleeping, but for comfort. A pillow to smother your tears on the rough nights, a pillow to pummel on your frustrated days. A pillow you curl around and snuggle for a memory of contact now distant. And when you drift off in those fitful sleeps of exhaustion, you wander in your dreams to another dream unknowingly. He's with you when you rest, and the moment he can get away from Lucifer's watchful gaze, he'll be there to tug the pillow out of your arms to crawl into your embrace himself.
With Diavolo, well, he knows things. Usually it's because of Barbatos, or Lucifer, or his familiars, but you? MC, you're so much more precious than the 'usual'. If asked by anyone who doesn't know him well enough to call him out, he'd say the charm he placed on you was simply for matters of Devildom security-- after all, you know possibly too much, and that could make you a target to the wrong people! (Barbatos politely does not point out that it's because he misses you so much and wants to see what you're doing.) It's not that he wants to intrude on your life or anything, it's important you have the chance to be as wonderfully human as you are, but he just worries. Are you alright? Are you comfortable? You'd mentioned once the extravagance of the brothers' lifestyle, do you have enough income? The charm is just a minor thing, a little thing, just to make sure you're well. And when you aren't? Well, paperwork and meetings will wait.
With Barbatos, he's just such a badass god-like time lord, we don't even need a pact to be connected to him. You had brought up the idea of a pact once, and he had just given you that dangerous smirk and demurred that it wasn't so much a pact you desired, surely, as his company and his attention, both of which were already yours. It seemed like such a smooth line at the time, but you didn't realize the extent of it. How you're a bright twinkling point on every timeline for him, how you are the center of every universe he knows, how he orients himself in any reality by looking to you. So when something is wrong, when you're falling apart or in danger, it's like the spiderweb crackling of a timeline splitting. Like an itch at the back of his throat, an ache behind his eyes. The choices are to let you suffer alone, or to teleport himself to your side and help you through. Do you even have to wonder which option he chooses?
Simeon may have a complicated relationship with his blessing and his celestial light, with his place and his purpose, but one thing has never felt complicated: you. Every baked good he ever made for you was made with pure love, and every gift he bestowed -- from a little sheep plush sewn by hand to earrings made from his own feathers -- had all of his hopes and wishes and prayers for you inside them. Maybe that's why squeezing the soft little plush fills you with such warmth and comfort, and why the brush of the feather against your neck feels like a kiss. When you're struggling and upset, the gifts from Simeon make you feel grounded just a little more. And perhaps it's a prayer answered for him, too, that he just has a feeling when it's time to go visit you.
Solomon has been watching out for you longer than you know. It started in the little ways, simple defensive spells and barriers to protect you, reminding demons who looked a little too closely at you who precisely he was and what he could do. It graduated to teaching you to defend yourself, and gifting you various magical trinkets and charms to help focus and direct your growing magics. You still don't really know all the ways that he keeps an eye on you. But he does. Nothing is more important than you. When one of his spells alerts him that you're upset or in distress, well. He just so happened to be in the neighborhood, MC, and what a lucky coincidence that is!
Luke is such a literal perfect little angel baby. One who gave you his blessing, to protect you even when he can't. Everyone teases him for being so young, but he knows that you are the one human he wants to guide and shelter and protect. And sure, when he gave his blessing, it was under the assumption you might need protection from demons or fae, from magic and shadow. But that doesn't mean his blessing doesn't also guide and protect you in times of need that aren't external, MC. When you're at your lowest and feeling completely alone, he feels the pull, feels your pain, and what sort of guardian angel would he be if he left you alone?
Mephistopheles you don't have a pact with (yet?), but imagine your magic ripping open a portal to him without your conscious intent when you're feeling small and lonely and just so badly miss him and want him with you. Maybe you think of him because of the kindness he has shown himself capable of; maybe you think of him because you know he's the least likely person to tell the brothers or anyone else about you having a meltdown. And he's startled and confused when this portal opens before him, the magic somewhat familiar but certainly not demonic, and he warily steps through half-expecting some idiotic prank of one of the brothers only to find you curled up and small and fragile and all of his complaints and questions can wait. After all, clearly you can't even manage your own magic right now, so someone has to keep you from causing trouble.
With Thirteen, it's the little conversation crystal that she gifted you during The Three Worlds' Fair. Perhaps you turned it into a pendant, or perhaps it's just always in your bag or pocket, kept close as a charm for good luck and reminder of the fact you aren't alone. You don't think it would actually work across realms but still hold it tightly and whisper your frustrations or fears or doubts into it just to get things off your chest. But between your magic and hers, it does still connect, and she does hear your outbursts. And at first she just lets it happen, quietly charmed and amused you would use her gift as a secret diary. But when you're really struggling? Well. Reapers are meant to move between realms, you know. There's nowhere she won't go for you.
And Raphael is not an angel to be summoned on the whim of some human. But he is incredibly observant (even if he sometimes doesn't 'read a room' well). He is the one who reads between your lines more than you expected, more than you intended, more perhaps than you want. He sees the tension you hold, the dark circles under your eyes, the way your smiles are just a little slow and empty; he hears the silences where he expects to hear laughter or humming or conversation. And he nearly ignores it, because it's not his business, and you have plenty of other devoted fans already flocking to you, but then he realizes that in those moments you don't. In your pain, you are alone, and that is the most jarring observation of them all. So perhaps it is up to him to correct this cosmic error, and be the one to support the human who supports everyone else.
I hope you still enjoy, even if it's not exactly what you had in mind! ♥ and when i get around to the other little things this spawned, i'll tag you if you'd like.
#my writing#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me writing#obey me fanfic#obey me x reader#obey me fluff#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me simeon#obey me solomon#obey me luke#obey me thirteen#obey me mephistopheles#obey me raphael
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Vent comic.
I just needed to express some of the inner dialogue I’ve been having a lot of lately. I’m trying to process things on pencil and paper so they don’t swirl in my head so much and it does help a bit.
The reason I’m sharing something personal like this is because it feels more genuine to me, to share why I slowed down so much on posts for a while here.
I wouldn’t call this burnout. Because I still have the energy and desire to draw, and I get enjoyment out of it. I guess I’ve been having these moments of self-doubt and frustration about my skill levels and I’m sure others have felt this too, right?
My free time is too short and it makes me angry and sad sometimes. And I get annoyed when the final product doesn’t match what my vision is in my head. I get impatient. I want the end result to be easier to get to. I want to be proud of a fully finished piece of art but I haven’t been able to make one for too long.
I just kinda feel like a nobody that needs to hurry up and learn a skill so I can contribute something worthwhile to the world.
It’s something I’m working on actively. I will be totally fine someday. But I still want to be vulnerable here for a second and just express my feelings briefly in hopes I can get a little closer to feeling better again.
And when that happens, I’ll be able to continue doing my best. I’m looking forward to that.
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love finding out that my dog was taken to the emergency vet while i’m at minimum over an hour away (sarcasm)
two of my dogs are getting on in years and the other has arthritis so it’s not that i wasn’t expecting something to happen but fuck can it please not happen now
#im worried but it’s like. muted#i just feel kinda empty. this combined with stress and burnout and physical issues are all just making it horrible#it’s. i just really hope my dog can hold on until this weekend if she’s on her way out#i was just told today that she’s been lethargic and suddenly struggling to get in the car#my mum just told me she was walking in figure 8s#im just. tired. and sad. and i hate that i can’t be home right now#im going to head back again this weekend no matter what i think#whether it’s to grieve or potentially say goodbye or whatever happens#as long as im feeling ok anyway im watching to see if this headache could be something else. im planning to covid test in the morning#just in case#im just. tired.#vent tw
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Tadashi Hamada x Reader *Academic Burnout Comfort*
Warnings: Academic burnout, mentions of self-doubt and stress. Not beta read.
Summary: After doing your best in your academics, you still feel like you're falling behind or just on the wrong academic path in general. Tadashi helps comfort reader that if they want to take a break and rethink things, it's totally okay.
Word Count: 1, 729
A/N: I haven't written for Tadashi in so long, but this was very therapeutic for me. Also Oz Pizza is an actual pizza place in San Francisco, I don't own the rights to the name or anything. However, they do have great pizza imo. Since this one was a bit longer I put it under the "keep reading" line below.
You were only a year away from graduation, that's what you kept trying to tell yourself. All you needed was to get through two more semesters after this one, and you were already half way through this semester. Still, as you're trying to study for one of your class midterms for this semester, you couldn't help but start to psych yourself out by your own motivative words. You only had one more year, and yet this semester has already felt like it's been a year already. You finally got to the heart of what your major was all about, and while you enjoyed it at first, now it's been giving you nothing but stress. The things you were learning about for your major weren't exactly what you had imagined when you first wanted to go into this major. Still, you decided to keep with it, hoping that your passion that you had for it before would simply come back. But now, you were looking towards your midterm, and felt as if you didn't know anything. Were your grades going to survive this exam? Or even this semester? This was a prerequisite class after all, if you couldn't pass this class, you wouldn't be able to go onto the next class you actually wanted to do. You'd end up staying here for longer than the year if that was the case, or would have to take on more classes next semester to catch up… Was this what you even wanted to do with your life? That question really started to get to you, if you were this stressed out now, what would it be like when you started a job that would be doing exactly this? You finally pushed your notes and textbooks away from you, as you leaned back against your chair. You were lucky that you at least had a window in your office space. You always thought that San Fransokyo was gorgeous at night. The Sakura trees they planted right outside of the San Fransokyo Institute of Technology were finally starting to bloom, coating the campus in soft pink petals. Maybe a walk would help you to think, or at least the fresh air might help. Just as the thought came to you, your door was suddenly opened. You looked to see Tadashi Hamada, your long time friend. He also happened to be a long time crush of yours too, but as time went by, you two feel into a comfortable dynamic with each other that made you too worried to even ask him out on a date.
"Oh! I saw the light was still on, but I didn't know of you were here or not." Tadashi spoke up, explaining why he had suddenly opened the door.
"It's alright, I don't know if I want to be here right now anyway…" You let out a breath, standing up and grabbing your personal belongings.
"Hey, are you okay? Is there something I can do to help?" Tadashi asked, noticing how stressed out to looked.
You shrugged, not even sure what to say at first. He stayed just in the doorway, always being patient enough to wait until you were ready to speak your mind. He could tell that the thing on your mind this time must have been really important, you eyes seemed downcast, shoulders slumped, as if you were ready to give up on something.
"I was going to take a walk… Do you want to come with? I kinda feel like crying into a pizza…" You half-joked towards the end, you hadn't eaten much yet, too consumed with studying and time constraints.
"Uh oh, I've been there before… Yeah, of course I'll come with." Tadashi tried to sympathize with you, making you smile as he quickly went back to his own workspace to grab his things.
When the two of you make it outside, your gaze couldn't help but be brought up to the trees again, something about focusing on the way the branches swayed and moved with the wind helping ground you into the present moment. It was better than losing yourself in the "what if's" that seemed to be plaguing you. The fresh air did seem to help a bit, you assumed that at some point the air in your room became a bit stale, which only added to your fatigue. Beside you, Tadashi still waited patiently, as he at least recognized that you were at least taking the first steps to clearing your thoughts.
"There's this great pizza place called Oz Pizza just a block down from here, they give some pretty big slices, great for catching tears." Tadashi joked, making you let out a small chuckle.
"That sounds like a plan then." You spoke, as he lead the way to the pizza place.
It took a couple of deep breaths, and a minute in comfortable silence for you to finally feel comfortable enough to speak about what's been on your mind.
"I don't think I'm cut out for all of this, Tadashi…" You trailed off at first, convinced that there wasn't exactly an easy way to lead into the conversation.
"What do you mean?" Tadashi asked, not wanting to make assumptions and say the wrong thing.
"My major… School… Just, I don't know… I have a mid term in two days, and I keep looking at my textbook and notes and just can't help but think… this isn't what I wanna do." You started to vent at first, further explaining your mindset.
You told him about how things started off really good, but within this year you just suddenly can't help but feel as if you had a change of heart somewhere along the way. How that you feel so close to the finish line that you just want to get it done with, but also hate the idea of having to go for another year just to even do that. How you've spent so much time on this major and your classes already, that you don't want it to all be for nothing, but what's the point if it's not even what makes you happy? Tadashi simply took all of this in at first, letting you get it off of your chest before you both went inside the little pizza joint. He considered your words for a moment, and when you finally felt as if you were done saying all that you needed to say, he lead you inside to order. The two of you ordered, and went back outside, since the place was really only big enough for the ordering counter and the kitchen in the back, most of the seating was outside.
"Do you want my advice, to distract you and think about thing else, or do you want me to just listen?" Tadashi then asked you once you two were in a more private setting again.
"I think it would be nice to know what you think… see it from a different perspective maybe." You answered, as he simply nodded with a smile at first. He always did encourage others to see things in a different way.
"I think after this semester, you could take a break. You've been working hard for a long time now, and it can be a lot on your brain to process. If you don't want to take a semester off, you could always see what classes you've finished and if there's another major that brings you closer to graduation, or just something that just makes you happy again." Tadashi advised, trying to cover all of the "what if's" and "But's" that could be brought up.
"I can help you look up the different majors the school offers. You're at least almost done with all the general education classes, right?" Tadashi asked, trying not to stress you out more, but genuinely curious.
"Yeah, I'll actually finish my last class for it this semester… Then it's just more major requirements…" You answered, trying not to linger on the idea too much.
"Okay, when we back I could help you look into it, and study, if you want it. It might just be good to at least not feel alone while you're studying." Tadashi reached across to gently put his hand on yours in encouragement.
You tried not to think about the gesture too much, but you failed to hide the smile on your face when he did it, giving you away a bit. Soon enough, the man who took your order placed the slices of pizza in front of the two of you.
"Are you still planning on crying into a pizza?" Tadashi asked, changing the subject away from school, but his hand never left yours.
"Maybe. You're always welcome to join me, if you want." You joked in return, making him laugh a bit.
The two of you ate and decided to talk about things that didn't involve school for the moment. Instead the two of you decided to talk about any movies that were coming out soon, or plans over the weekend, or how Tadashi's family was doing. When the two of you finally finished up your respective pizza slices, you weren't feeling a 100% but at least you were a bit better than you were before. You had started to think about your major again when the two of you began your walk back to the school.
"Hey, (Y/N)?" Tadashi called out to you, snapping you out of your thoughts before they could get worse.
"Yeah, Tadashi?" You asked, taking a deep breath to try and calm you.
"If you do decide that school isn't for you anymore, that's okay. I just wanted you to know that I'll still be here for you no matter what you decide on." Tadashi reassured you with a warm smile, as you couldn't help but nod and feel yourself start to tear up a little bit.
He was always the type of encouragement you needed, that even if you decided to change your path, or not go to school at all, that he'd always still be there. The last thing you wanted was to somehow lose him in the process.
"Come on, we'll figure this all out. We're in this together." He further reassured you.
You were starting to feel a bit more confident that the two of you would figure it out together.
#big hero 6#tadashi hamada x reader#tadashi hamada#big hero 6 imagines#big hero 6 x reader#raes writing space#Comfort Character Comfort Prompts
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