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mononijikayu · 3 months ago

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non ho l’eta — nanami kento.

“I’m okay, sensei.” you managed to say, though your voice wavered with the effort of holding back. “It’s just... a lot to adjust to, I guess.” He nodded, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes, a question left unasked, and you wondered if he knew—if he could see the turmoil in your heart. “You don’t have to do it alone, you know.” he said after a moment, his voice soft, almost a whisper. “Whatever it is you’re going through... you can talk to me.”

GENRE: Alternate Universe - Modern AU!;

WARNING/s: Angst, Fluff, Safe For Work (SFW), Age Difference (Reader is in early 20s, Nanami is in late 30s), Unrequited Romance, Falling In Love, First Love, Emotional Hurt, Comfort, Confession, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Loss, Letting Go, Mention of Depression, Mention of Mourning, Depiction of Physical Touch, Depiction of Depression, Depiction of Loneliness, Depiction of Grief, Depiction of Age Gap;

WORDS: 11k words.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: i told myself this was going to be only five thousand words but it ends up being so long. i'm really sorry. you've been dealing with how long this is. but i love this a lot. i wrote it listening to the song with the same title as this fic and just as much, i think about that manga i read years ago, after the rain. its a good story and the ending, where the ml lets the fl lead go because he cares about her youth - it was great. i hope you like it anyway. thank you for reading!!! i love you all <3

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A NEW BEGINNING MUST ALWAYS COME YOU THINK. As you settle into the quiet, unfamiliar countryside, the weight of the loss still clings to you. The days are filled with the sounds of nature—birds chirping, the rustle of leaves—but they feel muted compared to the life you left behind. The house is smaller, the town quieter, and everything around you seems to move at a slower pace. But inside, the grief swirls like a storm, refusing to be tamed by the peaceful surroundings.

Your beloved brother Yuuji, always so full of energy, has been quieter since the move. He’s trying to be strong, to put on a brave face for you, but you can see the sadness in his eyes. It was obvious, with how his smile never reaching his eyes like it usually does.

And it felt odd, it felt weird. You weren’t used to your brother being in this. And it hurts you. But you know that you didn’t know what to do to comfort him. You don’t want to drive him away by speaking to him about it. And you don’t want to hurt him by making him feel like you were overbearing either.

Your new house was still quiet. And you weren’t used to that either. Grandpa Wasuke’s voice would be ringing out through the house today, telling you both to go and start washing up so you could eat dinner. Or sometimes when you guys got home late because of sports practice, he would be too loud to scold you because you both forget to tell him that you were going home late and making him worried.

You miss your grandfather. And you were sure of Yuuji’s feelings being the same too. The silence was too loud, even between you and your brother. You wished it wasn’t. Because you were all you had now. One evening, as you both sit on the porch, the sky painted in the soft hues of sunset, Yuji breaks the silence.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” he begins, his voice softer than usual. “Being here, without him."

"Yeah." You mumble under your breath. "It...it is."

Your brother lets out a soft sigh. "I thought moving away would help, but...”

He trails off, staring at the horizon, his usual spark dimmed by the weight of unimaginable grief. You nod, understanding exactly what he means. The move was supposed to be a new beginning, but it feels more like an escape that didn’t quite work. And yet, you were stuck. And so was he too.

“I miss him so much, you know?” you admit, your voice trembling with emotion. “I thought...maybe if we came here, it wouldn’t hurt as much. But everything just reminds me of him. Even...even the silence......"

Yuuji looks at you, his lipspursed in a line. "I....I know."

"Grandpa’s voice is not here anymore and not hearing it anymore is just….” You feel the tears threatening to fall.

Yuuji turns to you, his expression a mix of sadness and determination. “We’ve still got each other. At least there’s that, sis.” he says, his hand reaching out to rest on yours. “And we’ll get through this. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but...we will.”

His words are simple, but they carry a weight of hope that you cling to. The grief might not vanish with a change of scenery, but at least you have Yuji by your side. And that, somehow, makes the pain a little more bearable.

The new town was picturesque—a small, idyllic place with rolling fields, charming cottages, and a slower pace of life that starkly contrasted with the frenetic energy of the city you had left behind. The local college, with its ivy-covered walls and quaint architecture, offered a promise of new beginnings and opportunities. Yet, beneath the serene surface, both you and Yuuji felt an underlying emptiness that was impossible to ignore.

As you and Yuuji navigated your first weeks at college, you found yourselves struggling to adapt to the quieter, more insular environment. The once-familiar hum of city life, with its constant activity and vibrant energy, was replaced by the gentle rustle of leaves and the occasional chirp of birds. The silence of the countryside, while initially soothing, soon became a reminder of the profound solitude you both felt.

The college itself was a small, close-knit community, where everyone seemed to know each other. The interactions were friendly and the atmosphere warm, but the sense of being an outsider in this new world was palpable. The academic workload was manageable, but your focus was often fragmented by the persistent ache of grief. Classes that once might have been engaging felt distant and abstract, overshadowed by the weight of your personal loss.

Every corner of the town seemed to hold echoes of the life you had left behind. The quaint coffee shop that you frequented, with its rustic charm and homemade pastries, became a bittersweet reminder of the comfort you once had. The local park, with its winding paths and serene pond, offered moments of reflection but also highlighted the contrast between the peaceful surroundings and the turmoil within.

The routine of daily life was a constant struggle between embracing the new and mourning the past. Each day, you and Yuuji tried to immerse yourselves in your studies and social activities, hoping to find distraction and connection. Yet, despite your best efforts, the shadows of grief seemed to follow you, making it difficult to engage fully with the present.

Yuuji’s energy began to return with the arrival of new friends. He introduced you to them one day—Kugisaki Nobara, a fiery and confident girl with a sharp tongue, and Fushiguro Megumi, a quiet and serious boy who seemed to understand more than he let on. You watched as your brother slowly began to resemble his old self, the grief loosening its grip on him with each laugh he shared with them, each story he told.

There was a joy in his voice that you hadn’t heard in months, a tenderness in the way he spoke about his new friends, and it warmed your heart to see him healing. You felt truly happy for him—how could you not? He deserved this chance to move forward, to find light in the darkness.

And yet, a small, stubborn pain lodged itself in your chest, growing a little each day. You couldn’t help but notice the way you were falling behind. No matter how much you tried, the sorrow still clung to you, as if you were trapped in a place where time stood still, unable to reach the same place of healing that Yuji had found.

You tried to join in, to share in his happiness, but it felt like you were on the outside looking in, a spectator in your own life. The laughter that once came so easily to you now felt forced, and every smile was tinged with a sadness you couldn’t shake.

Yuuji didn’t notice—or maybe he did, but he didn’t know how to help. He was so caught up in his new friendships, in the joy of finally finding some semblance of normalcy, that your struggles seemed to fade into the background. You didn’t blame him for it; you were glad he had found something to hold onto. But the loneliness was there, a constant reminder that while he was moving forward, you were still stuck in the past, unable to move on.

A lot of this was on you—that much you were painfully aware of. Yuuji had nothing to do with your unhappiness; he had been nothing but supportive, trying his best to bring some light back into your life. No, it was you who clung to the sorrow, who let it seep into every corner of your being until it became a part of you. You were the one at fault, wallowing in the pain because it felt like the only way to hold on to the past.

Maybe, in some twisted way, you were punishing yourself. The guilt gnawed at you, whispering that you hadn’t been a good enough granddaughter, that you had failed him in some way. And the thought of moving on, of letting go of the grief, felt like a betrayal. Because if you forgot, if you let the pain fade, what would be left of your grandfather? Wouldn’t that mean he didn’t exist anymore?

You couldn’t bear the thought. He was all you and Yuuji had, the one who had raised you, who had been your anchor in a world that often felt too chaotic to navigate alone. Clinging to him, to the pain, to the loneliness he had left behind—it felt like the only way to keep him close, to make sure he wasn’t forgotten.

You knew it wasn’t healthy, that it was holding you back while Yuuji was moving forward. But you couldn’t let go. Not yet. Not when it felt like losing him all over again. So you held on, hoping that by keeping the pain alive, you could keep a part of him with you, even if it meant sacrificing your own happiness in the process.

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YOU REALIZED THAT YOU WERE A NIGHT OWL. Because the night felt like a relief. Even if it was too loud, the night was kinder than the day. It was two sides of the coin, a mercy and a pain still, you think. The silence of the countryside was both a comfort and a torment.

The absence of city noise left space for your thoughts to swirl, allowing the grief to settle in more deeply. The memories of your grandfather, so vivid and cherished, felt both near and painfully out of reach, teasing you with their closeness yet reminding you of the distance that now separated you.

The quiet of the countryside, which had once promised peace, now seemed to amplify the emptiness left by his passing. During the day, you could distract yourself with the mundane tasks of settling into a new home, but when night fell, the stillness felt oppressive, as if the world had stopped moving just to remind you of what you’d lost.

It was a strange paradox—the night brought a certain relief, a break from the pretense of normalcy that the day demanded, but it also intensified the ache within you. The darkness was both a sanctuary and a prison, offering solace in its quiet yet refusing to let you escape the sorrow that lay just beneath the surface. In the night, you could almost feel him there, his presence lingering in the shadows, but it was a comfort tinged with the sharp pain of knowing he was gone.

The countryside, with its vast, empty spaces and endless quiet, had a way of magnifying your loneliness. What was supposed to be a balm for your grief had instead become a mirror, reflecting the void his absence had created in your life. And so, as you lay in bed, staring into the darkness, you couldn’t help but feel that the night, though kinder in some ways, also held a cruelty of its own—one that forced you to confront the depth of your loss in the silence that surrounded you.

During the day, you tried to lose yourself in the routine of university life, hoping that the distraction would somehow ease the ache. But even the familiar rhythm of lectures and assignments couldn’t drown out the emptiness that had settled within you. It was in one of these moments, as you sat quietly in the college library, as he approached you after the lecture, his usual composed expression softened by concern.

“May I ask you something?” he said, his voice low and measured. There was no judgment in his tone, only a gentle curiosity that made you nod in response.

“Why are you still here?” he asked, his gaze steady on yours. “Why are you still in university?”

The question caught you off guard. It wasn’t something you had given much thought to—not really. You had simply kept going, attending classes, completing assignments, because that’s what you were supposed to do. But now, confronted by professor Nanami Kento’s calm and earnest inquiry, you find yourself struggling to answer.

You hesitated, searching for words that didn’t come easily. “I don’t know, sensei.” you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I guess... It's what I’ve always done. For relief….But I just….I don’t….”

Nanami nodded, as if he had expected that answer. “But is it what you want? To be here?” he asked, his tone gentle but insistent. “Or are you here because it’s easier to keep going than to stop and face what you’re really feeling?”

The honesty in his words cut through the numbness that had settled over you. You looked away, unable to meet his gaze as the truth of his question sank in. Why were you still here? Was it because you truly wanted to be, or because it was easier to bury yourself in routine than to confront the grief that was still so raw and overwhelming?

“I don’t know, sensei.” you repeated, your voice trembling now. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

Nanami didn’t push you for more. Instead, he simply stood there, offering his presence as a quiet support. “It’s okay not to know anything.” he said after a moment. “It’s okay to take time to figure it out. But don’t be afraid to ask yourself these questions. Don’t be afraid to face what’s really going on inside.”

His words lingered with you long after he had left, echoing in the silence of your room that night. For the first time, you allowed yourself to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, it was okay to pause, to question, to not have all the answers right away. Maybe it was okay to admit that you were still hurting, still lost, and that you didn’t have to have it all figured out just yet.

From what you remember, the first person to truly notice your pain was your professor in Philosophy—Nanami Kento. He was always composed, with a stern exterior that didn’t betray much emotion, but there was a kindness in his eyes that softened whenever he looked at you and Yuuji. Perhaps it was because he understood, on some level, what it was like to carry the burden of loss.

Nanami–sensei never pried, never asked questions that would force you to confront what you weren’t ready to face. But there was something in the way he looked at you, a quiet understanding that made you feel seen, even in your darkest moments. He didn’t offer empty words of comfort or try to tell you that things would get better with time. Instead, he acknowledged your pain with a simple nod or a gentle word, as if to say that it was okay to feel what you were feeling.

You often caught him watching you during lectures, his gaze lingering a moment longer than necessary, as if he was trying to assess how you were holding up. He’d ask you how you were doing in a way that suggested he wasn’t just asking about your academic performance but about you as a person, as someone who was grieving. His presence was steady, a quiet anchor in the storm of emotions you were struggling to navigate.

In those moments, you felt a strange sense of comfort. Nanami didn’t try to fix you, didn’t push you to move on before you were ready. He simply let you exist in your pain, offering a silent understanding that you weren’t alone in it. And though it didn’t make the nights any easier or the grief any less suffocating, it was a small comfort to know that someone else understood, that someone else had been there too.

Somehow, it was easy to see in his eyes that he had gone through something similar, and that pained him in some way. And he hated that someone were to be in a position akin to yours, in a similar conundrum so young as you were. He took it upon himself to make sure you were both doing okay, often checking in on you, offering guidance, and making sure that neither of you felt alone.

The late afternoon sun cast long shadows through the office window, illuminating the neat rows of books and papers that lined Nanami’s desk. The quiet hum of the air conditioner was the only sound in the room as you sat across from him, feeling the weight of your emotions as you tried to make sense of your new life.

“Nanami–sensei.” you began, your voice soft but determined, “I’ve noticed you’ve been going out of your way to check in on me. I appreciate it, really, but I can’t help but feel like there’s more to it. You seem to understand what we’re going through in a way that’s more than just professional.”

Nanami looked up from his papers, his gaze meeting yours with a hint of sadness. He leaned back in his chair, taking a moment before responding. “It’s not easy to see young people struggling with grief and loss. It brings back memories of my own experiences, of times when I had to navigate similar challenges.”

You frowned slightly, sensing the depth of his feelings. “You’ve been through something like this yourself?”

Nanami nodded, his expression reflecting the weight of past pain. “Yes. I’ve had my share of losses, and while each experience is unique, it is normal. Seeing you in such heavy burdens….I must help in that. It is my duty.”

A moment of silence passed between you, the gravity of his words settling over the room. You could see the empathy in his warm brown eyes, a deep well of understanding that went beyond mere sympathy.

“I didn’t realize you had experienced something like this, sensei.” you said quietly. “It’s comforting to know that you understand, but it’s also hard to see how much it affects you. I’m so sorry about what happened to you, sensei.”

Nanami’s gaze softened as he looked at you. “Please don’t worry. I don’t mind. And I try to keep my personal experiences separate from my role as a teacher, but sometimes it’s inevitable. I can’t help but empathize deeply with students who are struggling. If it helps you, then maybe it would make it easier on you.”

You nodded, appreciating the honesty and vulnerability he was showing. “It’s been hard for us to adjust, with everything that’s happened. I understand, sensei. But….. Your support has made a difference, even if we haven’t always known how to express it.”

Nanami offered a small, reassuring smile. “I’m glad to hear that. I want to make sure you and Yuuji know that you’re not alone in this. Sometimes, just knowing that someone cares and is willing to listen can make a difference.”

There was a sense of mutual understanding in the room, a connection forged through shared experiences and empathy. The conversation had brought a sense of clarity, revealing the depth of Nanami’s compassion and the personal struggles he had faced.

“You’ve been a source of support and I want to thank you for that.” you said, feeling a sense of gratitude. “It’s good to know that...we have someone. It's...good. That I...I have someone, sensei.”

Nanami’s expression was one of gentle encouragement. “You’re welcome. If you ever need someone to talk to or guidance as you navigate this transition, don’t hesitate to reach out. My door is always open.”

At first, it was just a relief to have someone looking out for you, someone who cared enough to notice the cracks in your armor. But as time went on, you found yourself longing for more of his attention, craving the comfort he provided. His presence was steady, reassuring, a shining new light that gave you warmth in the cold uncertainty of your new life.

Every glance, every word of encouragement, every moment spent with him, stirred something deep within you. You began to realize that it wasn’t just gratitude or respect that you felt for him. It was something more, something that made your heart race and your thoughts linger on him long after he had gone. You were falling in love with Nanami Kento, and as frightening as it was to acknowledge, it was also something you could no longer deny.

The realization that you were in love with Nanami Kento crept up on you slowly, like the dawn breaking over the quiet countryside. At first, you tried to brush it off, convincing yourself that it was just a fleeting infatuation born out of your need for comfort in a difficult time. But the more you tried to suppress those feelings, the stronger they became.

It started with the way your heart would skip a beat when he entered the room, the way your eyes would search for him in a crowd, hoping for just a brief moment of connection. You found yourself hanging onto his every word, cherishing the conversations you shared, no matter how brief. His calm demeanor, his quiet strength, the way he seemed to understand you without needing to ask too many questions—it all drew you in, making you feel safe in a world that had felt so unstable for so long.

The more time you spent with him, the more you found yourself yearning for his presence, even when he wasn’t around. You would replay your interactions in your mind, searching for hidden meanings in his words, wondering if he felt even a fraction of what you were feeling. The thought of being in love with him was both exhilarating and terrifying, a delicate balance between hope and fear.

You knew it was risky, that opening your heart to someone else meant making yourself vulnerable again, something you weren’t sure you were ready for. But the warmth you felt in Nanami’s presence, the way he made you feel like you weren’t alone in your pain, was something you couldn’t ignore. And so, despite the fear, despite the uncertainty, you allowed yourself to embrace the feelings growing inside you, no longer able to deny the truth: you were in love with Nanami Kento.

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IT FELT WRONG TO FEEL GENUINE FEELINGS FOR HIM. But you just can't help yourself. You had found something warm in your life for the first time in a long time. And you wanted to hold onto theat feeling, even just for a little while.

You found yourself looking forward to Nanami's lectures with a new sense of anticipation, one that went beyond the academic content. It wasn't just about the subject matter or the intellectual challenge; it was the way his presence seemed to anchor you in a world that often felt tumultuous.

His voice, calm and measured, had a soothing quality that cut through the noise of your internal struggles, providing a sense of stability that was both comforting and invigorating. It felt like the sun in the morning sky, greeting you with all the warmth it could offer.

Every lecture became a sanctuary of sorts, a place where the outside world faded away and all that remained was the rhythmic cadence of his speech and the depth of his insights. His voice had a way of wrapping around you like a soft blanket, offering warmth and clarity in moments of confusion. It was as if he spoke directly to your soul, providing the reassurance you craved without even realizing it.

You began to pay closer attention to the little details of his presence, each one becoming a part of the mosaic of your growing affection. You noticed how he always carried a thermos of coffee, a small but meaningful ritual that seemed to add a personal touch to his professional demeanor. It was a simple thing, but it spoke to a side of him that was both grounded and familiar, like a quiet reflection of his everyday life.

The way he adjusted his glasses when he was deep in thought fascinated you. It was a small, habitual gesture that seemed to signal his immersion in the subject, his focus and dedication to his work. In those moments, when he was lost in contemplation, you saw a different side of him—one that was entirely absorbed in the pursuit of knowledge and understanding. It was a reminder of his depth, his passion for what he did, and it drew you in further.

And then there were the rare but genuine smiles that occasionally graced his lips. These smiles were not frequent, but when they appeared, they were like fleeting glimpses of sunlight breaking through the clouds. They were unguarded and sincere, revealing a side of him that was warm and approachable. These moments were precious to you, a sign that beneath his composed exterior, there was a person who experienced joy and kindness in the midst of his professional life.

Each detail, each nuance of his behavior, seemed to create a rich tapestry that captivated you. The combination of his voice, his habits, and his rare smiles painted a portrait of someone who was both steadfast and deeply human. As you became more attuned to these subtleties, you found yourself drawn to him in ways you hadn't anticipated. The more you observed, the more you appreciated the intricate layers of his character, each one adding depth to your feelings and making it even harder to keep your emotions in check.

In the quiet moments between lectures, when you would reflect on these details, you felt a growing sense of connection to him. It was as if the little things he did were speaking directly to your heart, creating a bond that was both profound and fragile. And with each passing day, the realization that you were falling for him became more undeniable, a truth that both comforted and challenged you as you navigated the complexities of your emotions.

Each day with the distance, your heart kept making a way towards Nanami–sensei, slowly weaving themselves into the fabric of your life in ways you couldn’t have anticipated. You found yourself looking forward to his classes with an eagerness that surprised you, your thoughts consumed by the anticipation of seeing him, hearing his voice, and perhaps catching one of those brief, meaningful glances that seemed to hold a world of unspoken understanding.

Your interactions with him took on a new significance. Every exchange, no matter how small, became a moment to savor. You began to notice the little things about him—the way he would adjust his tie with meticulous precision, the way his eyes softened when he spoke to you, the subtle way his lips would curve into a faint smile when you managed to make him laugh. These details became precious to you, feeding the growing affection in your heart.

But with that growing affection came a gnawing anxiety. You were all too aware of the delicate nature of your feelings, and the fear of rejection loomed large in your mind. What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if your admiration was one-sided, a product of your own need for comfort and connection? The thought of losing the quiet understanding and support he offered terrified you, and so you kept your feelings hidden, tucked away in the quiet corners of your heart.

Yet, no matter how hard you tried to keep your emotions in check, they found ways to surface. You noticed that you began to linger after class, hoping for a few extra moments with him. You found yourself volunteering for tasks you knew would require his guidance, just to have an excuse to be near him. And when he asked you how you were doing, his concern evident in his voice, you felt a pang of longing so intense it nearly took your breath away.

And then, one afternoon, as you were gathering your things after class, Nanami Kento and you bumped into each other. You blinked as you stopped. When you realized who he was, you gasped and bowed. You started to apologize to him. There was a hesitation in his movements, an uncharacteristic uncertainty that made your heart race.

“I’m so sorry, Nanami-sensei. I didn’t mean it—” you stammered, your voice trembling with the weight of unsaid words. The apology slipped out before you could fully process it, driven by a fear that you had somehow crossed a line, exposing too much of yourself.

Nanami’s expression remained calm, his eyes studying you with an unreadable intensity. For a moment, you feared that you had made things awkward, that the fragile connection between you might shatter under the pressure of your emotions.

But then, with a gentleness that both surprised and reassured you, he spoke. “May I walk you to your next class?” His voice was low and steady, grounding you in the moment. But there was something else in his tone, a subtle shift that hinted at a deeper concern, a connection that went beyond the formal boundaries of teacher and student.

You hesitated, the words catching in your throat. The offer was simple, yet the way he framed it made it feel like more—a gesture of care, a quiet acknowledgment of the unspoken feelings that had been building between you.

Unable to trust your voice, you nodded, grateful for the reprieve. Together, you fell into step, the silence between you heavy with unsaid thoughts, yet comforting in its familiarity.

As you walked, you couldn’t help but wonder if Nanami sensed the turmoil within you, if he understood the depth of what you had tried to keep hidden. And as the campus buzzed quietly around you, the world outside seemed to fade, leaving just the two of you in a moment suspended in time.

Finally, he spoke, his voice breaking the silence with a gentleness that caught you off guard. “You seem... different lately.” he said, his words careful, as if he was treading on fragile ground. “Is everything alright?”

The concern in his voice was genuine, and it took everything in you to hold back the flood of emotions that his words triggered. You wanted to tell him everything, to pour out your heart and confess the feelings that had been building inside you for so long. But the fear held you back, kept your words locked away.

“I’m okay, sensei.” you managed to say, though your voice wavered with the effort of holding back. “It’s just... a lot to adjust to, I guess.”

He nodded, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes, a question left unasked, and you wondered if he knew—if he could see the turmoil in your heart.

“You don’t have to do it alone, you know.” he said after a moment, his voice soft, almost a whisper. “Whatever it is you’re going through... you can talk to me.”

His words were a lifeline, and for a moment, you were tempted to grab hold, to let yourself be vulnerable in a way you hadn’t allowed yourself to be since your grandfather’s passing. But the fear of what might happen if you did—if you let him see how deeply you had fallen for him—kept you silent.

Instead, you offered him a small, grateful smile. “Thank you, Nanami-sensei. That means a lot.”

He nodded, his eyes searching yours for a moment longer before he looked away, the moment passing as quickly as it had come. But even as the silence returned, you couldn’t help but feel that something had changed between you.

Yuuji, ever the perceptive brother, began to pick up on the changes in you with his usual blend of curiosity and teasing. He’d comment on your newfound enthusiasm for school, his tone lighthearted and playful.

“Wow, someone’s really getting into their classes these days.” he’d say, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “Are you trying to impress a certain someone?”

But behind his teasing, there was always a hint of concern in his eyes. He knew you well enough to sense when something was amiss, even if you were trying your best to mask it. The bond between you and Yuuji has always been strong, built on shared experiences and mutual support. Now, with only the two of you facing the world, his worry for you was palpable.

You were acutely aware of his concern, but discussing your feelings for Nanami–sensei felt like navigating a minefield. It was a topic too delicate, too intricate to lay bare. The emotions you were grappling with were still forming, shifting and evolving in ways you couldn’t fully articulate. The fear of misunderstanding, the potential for things to become awkward or strained, made it almost impossible to open up to Yuuji about it.

So you chose to keep your feelings close, wrapped in the quiet spaces of your heart. Whenever Yuuji’s concern for you surfaced, you would offer a reassuring smile and change the subject, deflecting his probing questions with practiced ease.

“Just trying to find my footing, bro.” you’d say, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside. “You know how it is, trying to make the most of a new start.”

“You sure?” He asks you, a warm concern in his eyes.

You smiled at him. “I do. I’m fine. Really.”

Yuuji would accept your evasions with a nod, his worry temporarily set aside as he shifted his focus to lighter matters. But you could see the question in his eyes, the unspoken concern that lingered even as he attempted to mask it with humor.

In your heart, you appreciated his concern more than you could express. But the feelings you had for Nanami remained a private struggle, something you needed to work through on your own before you could even begin to share it with anyone, even Yuuji. For now, you hold onto the fragile hope that, in time, you would find a way to navigate your emotions, to understand them and perhaps, one day, to share them without fear.

As you continued to go through your days, the quiet moments with Nanami remained a solace and a source of intense longing. His presence in your life was a beacon, guiding you through the uncertainty of your new surroundings. And though you struggled with the weight of your feelings, you found a measure of comfort in knowing that he was there, a constant, reassuring presence in the midst of the turmoil.

Your interactions with Nanami–sensei became the highlights of your day. You’d catch his gaze during class, and for a moment, it felt like the rest of the world faded away. There were times when he’d linger after class, asking if you and Yuuji were settling in okay, if you needed anything. His concern felt genuine, and every time he spoke to you, you felt a warmth spreading through your chest.

But with that warmth came uncertainty. Nanami was your sensei, a mentor figure, someone who had taken on the role of a protector for you and your brother. The lines between student and teacher, between gratitude and affection, were blurring in ways that scared you. You couldn’t help but wonder if he could ever see you as anything more than just a student or a young person in need of guidance.

As the days turned into weeks, you found yourself drawn to him more and more, despite your best efforts to keep your emotions in check. There were moments when you thought you caught something in his eyes, a softness that made you wonder if he might feel something too. But those moments were fleeting, gone before you could fully grasp them.

Still, the longing grew, becoming an ache that you couldn’t ignore. You yearned for more than just his care and concern; you wanted to be closer to him, to know him beyond the walls of the classroom. But the fear of rejection, of ruining the fragile bond you had with him, kept you silent.

The conflict within you was a constant companion, as you tried to navigate your feelings while maintaining the façade of normalcy. You knew that falling in love with Nanami was risky, that it could lead to heartache, but your heart seemed to have a mind of its own, pushing you toward him despite the potential consequences.

You lingered in the classroom long after the other students had left, your movements slow and deliberate as you packed your bag. The quiet of the room was comforting, a stark contrast to the whirlwind of thoughts in your mind. Yuuji had already gone off to his club activities, leaving you alone with your thoughts—and with Nanami.

As you reached for your bag, you felt a pair of eyes on you, an almost tangible weight that drew your gaze. Glancing up, you saw Nanami watching you from his desk, his expression thoughtful, a subtle crease forming between his brows.

His eyes, usually so composed and distant, now held a depth that seemed to reflect his internal contemplation. The warmth of his gaze made your heart skip a beat, and for a moment, the world around you felt like it had narrowed to just the two of you.

You could feel the pull of his attention, the way it lingered on you with a quiet intensity. It was as if he was searching for something, trying to understand a part of you that you hadn’t yet revealed. The weight of his gaze was both comforting and unnerving, a silent conversation that spoke volumes.

Trying to steady yourself, you offered him a tentative smile, hoping it would convey the reassurance you struggled to articulate. But his eyes remained fixed on you, and you wondered what thoughts were running through his mind.

“You’re still here this late.” he said, his voice gentle in the stillness. “Everything alright?”

You hesitated, unsure of how to put your feelings into words. “Yeah, I just… needed a moment to myself.”

Nanami nodded, rising from his chair and walking over to you. He stopped a few feet away, leaning casually against the desk beside you, his arms crossed. Despite his composed demeanor, there was something warm in his gaze, something that made your heart flutter.

“It’s been a lot to adjust to, hasn’t it?” he said, his voice low and steady. “A new town, new school, after everything that’s happened.”

You looked down, your fingers nervously playing with the strap of your bag. “Yeah, it has. But… having you here has helped. More than you know, sensei.”

There was a pause, and when you dared to look up, you saw that his expression had softened even more. The usual sternness in his eyes was gone, replaced by a gentleness that made your breath catch.

“I’m glad I could help you.” Nanami replied quietly. He uncrossed his arms, his hand almost reaching out to you before he stopped himself, letting it fall to his side. “You have been through a lot. It’s only natural to need support.”

You felt a lump form in your throat. The way he spoke, the concern in his voice—it was all too much, and yet not enough. You wanted to say more, to tell him how much his presence meant to you, how much you looked forward to these moments alone with him. But the words wouldn’t come. Instead, you just nodded, your heart pounding in your chest.

Nanami Kento seemed to sense your inner turmoil. He stepped a little closer, his gaze never leaving yours. “If there’s anything you need, anything at all, you know you can come to me, right?”

The sincerity in his voice, the closeness of his presence—it made something inside you ache. You wanted so badly to close the distance between you, to feel his arms around you, to find comfort in his embrace. But you knew you couldn’t. Not yet.

“I know, sensei.” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Thank you… for everything.”

He smiled then, a small, rare smile that sent warmth flooding through you. “You don’t have to thank me. Just… take care of yourself. And your brother Yuuji, too. He seems like a good young man too.”

You nodded again, but as you turned to leave, you couldn’t help but glance back at him one last time. He was still watching you, that same gentle look in his eyes, and you knew then that your feelings were undeniable.

As you walked out of the classroom, your heart felt heavier with the weight of your unspoken emotions, but there was also a small, flickering hope. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that Nanami could feel the same way.

But even then, you were acutely aware of your limitations and the vast knowledge gap that existed between you and Nanami. He was older, more experienced, a man who had seen and done so much more than you could even imagine. It wasn’t just his age or his wisdom that set him apart—it was the way he carried himself, with a quiet confidence and a sense of purpose that you found both admirable and intimidating.

As much as you were drawn to him, a part of you couldn’t help but doubt whether your feelings could ever be returned. You were still so young, barely stepping into adulthood, while Nanami had long since found his place in the world. What could someone like him possibly see in you? The thought lingered in the back of your mind, a constant reminder of the distance between you.

And then there was the fear—the fear that he might not like you in the way you hoped. He was kind to you, yes, and he looked out for you and Yuuji with a care that went beyond mere duty. But did that kindness stem from affection, or was it simply his nature to protect those who needed it? You didn’t know, and the uncertainty gnawed at you.

The truth was, you couldn’t see how he would ever reciprocate your feelings. He was your professor, a mentor figure, someone who had taken on the role of a guardian in your life. To him, you were just a student, someone who needed guidance and support, not a romantic partner. And yet, despite all your doubts and fears, you couldn’t stop the way your heart leapt whenever you were near him.

The rational part of you tried to suppress those feelings, to remind yourself of the unlikelihood of anything ever happening between you. But the heart has a way of ignoring logic, and yours had latched onto Nanami in a way that was becoming impossible to ignore. You were in love with him, even if you couldn’t say it aloud, even if you didn’t think he could ever feel the same way.

So, you kept those feelings locked away, hidden behind polite smiles and carefully chosen words. It was safer that way, less painful than risking rejection. But even as you tried to push your emotions aside, you knew that they were there, just beneath the surface, waiting for the slightest opportunity to break free.

After a particularly long day of classes, you and Yuuji walked home together under the fading light of the setting sun. His friends were going to be busy tonight, so you were able to go home together. He insisted to help you with your school bag, but you kept insisting that it was fine. Yet, he was your older brother (by four minutes) and had pulled that card and carried your bag for you anyway.

The countryside was quiet, the only sounds being the crunch of gravel beneath your shoes and the distant chirping of crickets. Yuuji had been unusually quiet, and you could feel his eyes on you every now and then, as if he was trying to gauge something. Finally, as you neared your home, he spoke up.

"Hey, you’ve been acting kinda different lately." Yuuji said, his tone light but tinged with concern. "Is everything okay?"

You glanced at him, caught off guard by his sudden observation. "Different? What do you mean?"

Yuuji shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I don’t know. You just seem… I don’t know, distracted? Like your mind’s somewhere else. I noticed you’ve been staying late at school a lot too."

You felt a flush rise to your cheeks and quickly looked away, hoping he wouldn’t notice. "It’s nothing, really. Just trying to keep up with everything, I guess."

But Yuuji wasn’t so easily convinced. He stopped walking, turning to face you fully. "It’s more than that, isn’t it? You know you can talk to me, right? We’re in this together."

There was no escaping it now. You sighed, knowing that Yuuji wasn’t going to let this go. "It’s just… there’s a lot on my mind. And yeah, I’ve been thinking about someone."

Yuuji raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. "Someone? Like who?"

You hesitated, the words stuck in your throat. Finally, you admitted, "It’s Nanami-sensei."

Yuuji blinked, processing this information. "Nanami-sensei? Our professor Nanami? Who’s like… way older than you?"

You winced at the bluntness of his words. "Yeah, I know. It’s not exactly… ideal."

Yuuji softened, realizing that this was something you were struggling with. "Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. I just… didn’t expect it, that’s all. I mean, he’s a good guy, but… you really like him, don’t you?"

You nodded slowly, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety at finally saying it out loud. "I do. But it’s complicated, Yuuji. He’s older....and I don’t even know if he’d ever see me that way....I doubt it. I feel like I’m just setting myself up for disappointment. And it’s not…It’s not right. There’s so much wrong with it. I know.”

Yuuji frowned, deep in thought. "That’s a tough spot to be in. But you know, Nanami-sensei seems to care about you a lot. He’s always checking in on you, making sure you’re okay. Maybe there’s more there than you think."

You shook your head, the doubts creeping back in. "Or maybe he’s just being kind because he knows we’ve been through a lot. It’s not like he’d ever look at me the way I look at him. It’s….It’s wrong.”

Yuuji placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, his touch warm and grounding. “Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, it doesn’t mean you’re not worth it. You deserve to feel some happiness. Even if you never say it to him. Even if you don’t act on it, it’s how you feel. Wrong or right, it’s still human feelings, isn’t it?”

“I just… What should I do? It’s going to be bad, Yuuji. I don’t want to do things that would be bad for me and especially for Nanami-sensei. Over my childish feelings.”

Yuuji’s expression softened, his eyes filled with a mix of empathy and determination. “Listen, it’s not about being childish. Feelings are complicated and real, and they don’t just go away because we want them to. What matters is how you handle them.”

He paused, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “Maybe the best thing you can do right now is to take things one step at a time. Figure out what’s best without rushing or putting yourself in a difficult position."

You listened, trying to absorb his words. They offered a sense of perspective, a reminder that navigating your feelings didn’t have to be an all-or-nothing endeavor. Yuuji’s encouragement made you feel less isolated in your struggle, less like you were facing this alone.

“Thanks, bro.” you said quietly, your voice carrying the weight of both gratitude and the lingering uncertainty. “I guess I just need to give myself a bit more grace, and maybe, take a step back to really understand what’s best.”

Yuuji nodded, a reassuring smile on his face. “Exactly. Give yourself the space to figure things out, and don’t be too hard on yourself. Emotions are messy, and that’s okay, hm?”

You looked at him, grateful for his unwavering support. "Thanks, Yuuji. I really needed to hear that."

He grinned, giving you a playful nudge. "What are brothers for? Besides, I kinda want to see how this turns out."

You couldn’t help but laugh, the tension easing slightly. For now, the future was still uncertain, but at least you knew you had Yuuji by your side, no matter what happened next. And maybe, he was all you needed. Because at the end of the day, you know how it will all work out. How it will all end. But you let yourself dream anyway.

You were idealistic, often finding yourself lost in daydreams where you would gather the courage to approach Nanami. In those fantasies, you imagined asking him for patience, telling him that one day, when the time was right, you would be ready to offer your love completely. You pictured yourself standing before him, your heart in your hands, promising that with time, you could bridge the gap between your worlds.

But deep down, you knew this was nothing more than romantic idealism—a longing to experience a love that felt as profound as the feelings you harbored for him. The desire to be seen, to be cherished by someone as steadfast and admirable as Nanami Kento, was powerful, but it was also grounded in a reality you couldn’t ignore.

As much as you wanted to believe that your love could transcend the differences between you, there was a part of you that understood the truth. You were too young, too inexperienced, and no matter how much you grew, there would always be a gap that time alone couldn’t close. Nanami–sensei wasn’t just older—he was wiser, more grounded, and had already lived through phases of life that you had yet to experience.

The more you thought about it, the more you realized that he likely wouldn’t want to love someone younger, someone who was still finding their place in the world. His kindness toward you, his care and concern, came from a place of responsibility, not from the kind of romantic interest you wished for. You knew that he saw you as a student, maybe even as someone who needed guidance, but not as an equal partner in love.

This understanding brought with it a quiet, bittersweet resignation. You loved Nanami, perhaps more than you ever thought you could love anyone, but you knew that he wasn’t the one for you. The future you imagined, where you and Nanami could be together, was a beautiful dream, but it was just that—a dream.

As much as it hurt to admit, you knew you had to let go of that dream, to accept that some things, no matter how deeply you wished for them, weren’t meant to be.

The days that followed were a mix of emotions—moments where you felt determined to move on, followed by others where your heart clung stubbornly to the hope that maybe, just maybe, things could be different. But as time passed, reality became harder to ignore, and you found yourself slowly coming to terms with the truth.

You still admired Nanami–sensei, still cared for him deeply, but you began to see him in a different light. Instead of focusing on the impossible, you tried to appreciate what you did have—a mentor who genuinely cared for your well-being, someone who had guided you through a difficult period of your life. It wasn’t the romantic love you had dreamed of, but it was something valuable, something that had shaped you in ways you hadn’t fully understood before.

In your quieter moments, when you were alone with your thoughts, you allowed yourself to grieve the loss of that dream. It was painful to let go, but you knew it was necessary. Holding on to something that could never be would only cause more heartache in the long run.

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HE KNOWS THAT HE’S NOT A GOOD MAN. Because what good man can feel like this? Nanami Kento had always prided himself on his ability to maintain control, to keep a clear head no matter the situation. It was a skill honed through years of experience, of facing the harsh realities of life and coming out on the other side with a firm grip on his emotions. But lately, that control had begun to slip, and it all started with you.

At first, he dismissed the subtle changes in his behavior as nothing more than his natural inclination to look after those who needed guidance. You and Yuuji had been through a lot, and it was only right that he, as your teacher, offered support where he could. But as the days turned into weeks, he couldn’t ignore the way his thoughts kept drifting back to you—your quiet resilience, your gentle smiles, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke about something you were passionate about.

It wasn’t long before he realized the truth: he was growing attached to you in ways that went far beyond the boundaries of a student-teacher relationship. It was a realization that troubled him deeply, shaking the foundations of the discipline he had built his life upon.

Nanami noticed the way your eyes lingered on him, the subtle shifts in your demeanor whenever you were around him. He wasn’t blind to the affection you tried so hard to keep hidden, the way you seemed to seek out his presence, even if only for a few moments of conversation. There were times when he almost allowed himself to reciprocate, to let his guard down and acknowledge the feelings that were steadily growing in his chest.

But each time, he pulled back, reminding himself of the stark reality of your situation. You were young, with your whole life ahead of you, full of potential and promise. You deserve someone who could match your energy, someone who could grow with you, not someone like him—someone who had already been worn down by the world, who had seen and done things he wished he could forget.

It wasn’t fair to you, he thought, to burden you with the affections of a man who had lost his youth, who had seen too much to ever be truly carefree again. You deserved more than what he could offer, and the thought of tainting your bright future with the shadows of his past was unbearable.

So, Nanami Kento buried his feelings deep inside, locking them away where they couldn’t hurt you—or him. He told himself that it was the right thing to do, that maintaining a professional distance was the only way to protect you both. But no matter how hard he tried, those feelings remained, lurking just beneath the surface, ready to break free at the slightest provocation.

There were moments when he questioned his resolve, when the weight of his own emotions threatened to overwhelm him. But each time, he steeled himself, knowing that this was a line he couldn’t cross. He cared too much about you to allow himself to be selfish, to act on feelings that could only lead to pain and regret.

In the end, Nanami chose to distance himself, subtly at first, hoping you wouldn’t notice. He still checked in on you, still offered his guidance when you needed it, but he made sure to keep a barrier between you, a wall that kept his emotions firmly in check. It was agonizing, knowing that he was pushing away something that could have been beautiful, but he knew it was the only way to ensure that you remained unscathed by the harsh realities of his world.

You were too precious, too full of life, to be drawn into the darkness that he carried with him. And so, Nanami resolved to watch over you from afar, to be the steady presence you could rely on, but never more than that. It was his duty, his responsibility, to protect you—not just from the dangers of the world, but from himself as well.

No matter how much it hurt, no matter how strong his feelings for you became, Nanami knew he had to bury them deep, where they would never see the light of day. It was the only way to ensure that you remained untouched by the shadows of his past, free to find a love that was worthy of you, even if that love could never be his.

Nanami Kento had been wrestling with his emotions in solitude, believing that burying his feelings was the only way to protect you from the shadows of his past. It was a decision made with the utmost care, a sacrifice he felt necessary to ensure your happiness. But his internal struggle did not go unnoticed by his colleagues, Gojo Satoru and Shoko Ieiri, who were perceptive enough to sense that something was troubling their friend.

One evening, after a particularly challenging day, Gojo and Shoko decided to check in on Nanami. They found him in the teachers’ lounge, sitting alone with a cup of tea, his expression distant. Gojo, ever the perceptive one, noted the pensive look on Nanami’s face and exchanged a glance with Shoko before approaching him.

“Hey, Nanami!” Gojo greeted, his tone casual but with an underlying concern. “You’ve been a bit off lately. Everything okay?”

Nanami looked up, masking his emotions with a practiced smile. “Just a lot on my mind. Nothing to worry about.”

Shoko, who had been quietly observing, took a seat beside him. “It’s clear something’s bothering you. You don’t have to go through this alone, you know.”

Nanami’s smile faltered, and he sighed deeply, feeling the weight of his hidden feelings press heavily on him. “I appreciate your concern. It’s just… some feelings are better left buried.”

Gojo raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair. “Feelings, huh? Sounds like there’s more to it than just a heavy workload.”

Nanami hesitated before speaking, his voice low. “I’ve been trying to protect someone from my own shortcomings. It’s not fair for them to be burdened with my past, my complexities.”

Shoko’s eyes softened with understanding. “It sounds like you’re talking about… someone important. Someone who means a lot to you.”

Nanami nodded, his gaze fixed on his tea. “Yes, someone who deserves better than what I can offer. It’s better this way.”

Gojo, always one to push boundaries, leaned forward, his expression serious. “Nanami, it’s okay to feel like love is unattainable. It’s okay to have feelings and to struggle with them. But don’t forget that you’re human too. You deserve happiness, even if it’s complicated. And even if you don’t act on it. Feeling it is not wrong.”

Shoko nodded in agreement, her voice gentle but firm. “You’ve been carrying this burden alone, trying to shield someone else from your own pain. But it’s important to acknowledge your own feelings, to give yourself permission to be vulnerable. Especially for this person.”

Nanami looked between them, feeling a mix of gratitude and frustration. “But what if my feelings could only cause more harm? What if being honest means jeopardizing their well-being? I know it will.”

Gojo shook his head, a small smile forming. “Sometimes, it’s not about whether your feelings will cause harm. It’s about being true to yourself and giving yourself the chance to experience what you deserve. Love isn’t always straightforward, and it’s not always fair. But it’s part of the human experience. Acted on or not, it’s what it is, isn’t it?”

Shoko reached out, placing a comforting hand on Nanami’s shoulder. “You’ve done so much for others. It’s time to think about yourself too. It’s okay to be vulnerable, to let yourself feel and to hope for something more, even if it feels unattainable.”

Nanami’s gaze softened, and he looked down at his hands, the weight of their words sinking in. “I’ve been so focused on protecting them, on making sure they don’t suffer because of me. I didn’t realize how much I’ve neglected my own needs.”

Gojo smiled, his tone light but encouraging. “We all have our struggles. It’s part of being human. Just remember, you’re not alone in this. You have friends who care about you, who want you to be happy.”

Shoko gave him a reassuring nod. “And it’s okay to take steps towards finding your own happiness, even if it means confronting difficult feelings. Even if you don’t think it will be reality. You deserve a chance to experience love, just as much as anyone else.”

Nanami took a deep breath, feeling a mixture of relief and apprehension. “Thank you. It’s good to hear that. I’ve been so focused on the right thing to do that I forgot about what I need.”

Nanami had been immersed in his work that day, focusing on grading papers and preparing for upcoming lectures. He had anticipated a quiet day, free from the usual flurry of students and administrative tasks. It was your day off from school—a rare break for you to focus on your thesis, and he had expected you to be busy with your academic responsibilities.

Yet, as the hours ticked by, Nanami couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. He had noticed a subtle change in your demeanor over the past week, an undercurrent of sadness that was difficult to ignore. He had hoped you’d find solace in your time away from school, but now, the thought of you potentially seeking him out was unsettling.

When he heard the knock on his office door, he glanced up with a mixture of curiosity and concern. He wasn’t expecting you to be here today, not when you had so much on your plate. The sound of the knock was soft but persistent, and it made him pause, his thoughts drifting from his work to the possibility of seeing you.

You stood outside his office, your heart pounding with a mix of anxiety and determination. The past week had been particularly rough—filled with long nights and overwhelming emotions. The weight of your feelings for Nanami, combined with the challenge of coming to terms with them, had left you feeling both vulnerable and resolute. You had been wrestling with your emotions, trying to find a way to move forward, but it was proving more difficult than you had anticipated.

The hallway was quiet, the soft hum of the air conditioning the only sound that accompanied your thoughts. You had wrestled with the decision to come here, weighing the need for closure against the fear of complicating things further. Yet, the idea of not expressing your feelings and finding some resolution gnawed at you, making it hard to focus on anything else.

Taking a deep breath, you decided to face the uncertainty head-on. You lifted your hand and knocked again, this time with more resolve. The sound echoed through the hallway, signaling your intent to have a conversation that had been on your mind for days.

Inside the office, Nanami’s thoughts were interrupted by the knock. He stood up, smoothing his jacket, and approached the door. When he opened it, he was met with the sight of you standing there, looking both determined and apprehensive.

“Is everything alright?” he asked, trying to keep his voice calm despite the surprise and concern he felt.

You looked up at him, a mix of anxiety and resolve in your eyes. “I didn’t mean to intrude. I know it’s my day off, but… I needed to talk to you.”

Nanami stepped aside, gesturing for you to enter. “Of course. Come in.”

You entered his office, feeling the comforting, yet intimidating, presence of the space that had been a backdrop to many of your interactions. The room was orderly, with neatly arranged papers and a sense of calm that contrasted with the storm of emotions you were feeling.

As you settled into a chair, Nanami took his place behind his desk, his gaze steady and attentive. “What’s on your mind?”

You took a moment to gather your thoughts, feeling the weight of your emotions pressing against your resolve. “I’ve been struggling with my feelings for you. It’s been difficult to process, and I realized that I need some closure. I thought it might help if I talked to you about it.”

Nanami listened, his expression a mix of empathy and sadness. He had been preparing for this conversation, though not in the way he had hoped. The feelings he had tried so hard to suppress now seemed to rise to the surface, as he saw the vulnerability in your eyes.

“It’s not easy to hear.” Nanami said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “And it’s even harder to find the right words. I’ve been trying to navigate this situation carefully, but I realize now that you deserve more than just silence.”

You looked up at him, finding his smile to be tinged with a deep sadness that made your heart ache. Nanami crossed his arms, his gaze meeting yours with a weight of unspoken emotions.

“Most of all, my little one….” he continued, his voice steady but filled with a profound melancholy. “You deserve better than an old, unpassionate man like me.”

The words hung in the air between you, a painful truth that cut through the space. His admission, though gentle, was laced with a somber acknowledgment of the reality that had become so clear. It was as if he was trying to shield you from the hurt of unfulfilled expectations while grappling with his own feelings of inadequacy.

You could see the strain in his eyes, the conflict of wanting to comfort you while also maintaining the boundaries he felt were necessary. It was a moment of raw honesty, one that left you with a deep sense of both empathy and sorrow.

The room seemed to hold its breath as Nanami's words settled between you. His gaze remained steady, but there was an undeniable vulnerability in his eyes, a silent acknowledgment of the complexities that had become apparent.

You swallowed hard, the weight of his confession pressing heavily on you. “I didn’t come here expecting an easy answer, or my feelings to be returned, sensei.” you said softly, trying to steady your voice. “I just needed to express what I’ve been feeling and to understand where we stand.”

Nanami nodded, his expression a mixture of relief and sadness. “I appreciate your courage in coming forward. It’s not easy to confront these feelings, especially when the outcome is uncertain.”

There was a pause as you both took a moment to absorb the gravity of the conversation. Nanami leaned forward slightly, his hands resting on the desk as if trying to ground himself in the face of his emotions.

“I want you to know that my feelings for you are genuine. Even if they're not what should be. But I also understand that the situation we’re in is far from ideal. It’s not just about what I want but what’s best for you. What you need matters more than what I want.”

You took a deep breath, feeling the tears you had been holding back threatening to spill. “I understand. I really do. It’s just… hard to accept that something so strong and real can’t find a way to work out.”

Nanami’s gaze softened, and he reached out, resting his hand gently on top of yours. The contact was brief but comforting, a silent gesture of support and understanding.

“It’s difficult, and it’s painful. But sometimes, love means making choices that are hard and painful for the sake of someone else’s well–being. Love is letting go, too. And I believe that’s what I need to do now. Because if my love for you is true, then I would let you go. And let you live a life that you deserve, hm?”

You nodded, feeling the sting of his words but also the clarity they brought. “Thank you for being honest with me. I guess I needed to hear this, to understand where we really stand. To…to have closure.”

Nanami offered a sad smile, one that seemed to carry the weight of his own regrets and hopes for you. “I hope you find someone who can truly cherish you for who you are. You deserve someone who can give you the kind of love and support that I might not be able to offer.”

The finality of his words hung in the air, and you could sense the depth of his feelings—both for you and the situation you found yourselves in. As you stood up to leave, you felt a sense of bittersweet closure, a recognition of the reality that had to be faced.

“Take care of yourself, little one.” Nanami said softly as you made your way to the door. ”I hope you'll always be happy."

You offered him a small, grateful smile, a mixture of sadness and appreciation in your eyes. “Thank you, Nanami–sensei. I’ll keep that in mind.”

As you stepped out of his office, the weight of the conversation settled heavily on your shoulders. But along with the heaviness, there was also a sense of resolution. You had faced your feelings head-on, and though the outcome wasn’t what you had hoped for, you felt a renewed sense of clarity and a readiness to move forward.

Nanami Kento watched you go, his heart heavy but his mind clear. He hoped, more than anything, that you would find the happiness and love that you deserved, even if it was not with him. He'd have to leave soon. He thinks that it would be better, if he keeps his distance from now on. You do not need him anymore. And that's for the best.

And as the door closed behind you, he allowed himself a moment of reflection, grappling with the bittersweet nature of his own emotions and the hope that, in time, both of you would find a path that led to fulfillment and peace.

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the-bloody-sadist · 1 year ago

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in case no one else has asked, please list your top 10 BL manga/manwha? 👀

i am. very interested in what other media you enjoy, especially BL

Combining these two bc I didn't wanna leave the second out!

(I wasn't a big fan of Blood Bank personally but I'm so glad it helped you with your world building Lil Whale!!)

I'm hoping some of these are unheard of for you guys because THERE ARE SO MANY BL/YAOI AND I READ THEM CONSTANTLY BUT NOT SO MANY ARE FANTASTIC AND MIND-BLOWING AND SPECTACULAR AND DEEPLY PSYCHOLOGICAL! I'm pretty sure I'll end up listing WAY more than 10, mainly because I want to highlight ones I feel like a lot of people haven't read. ALSO because I read so fucking many of them that I've collected a stash and NOW IS MY CHANCE TO YELL ABOUT THEM.

Just a disclaimer, these are not in any sort of order, as they're all about the same level in my head, just grouped. I'll list the "big name" BLs that I adore after these! First up are the ones that either have a quiet fandom or aren't well known! Since there'll be so many, I'm not going to say much about them, just know that usually no BL/Yaoi is perfect to me, since there are many bad psychology tropes here and there or unnecessary cruelties that aren't exactly realistic etc., but overall, I like the way that the story and characters are handled and/or love the art.

Here's the top five of my top ten that's not a top ten bc there are so many (I just said I wouldn't group them but I lied my ass off apparently):

Jealousy [Scarlet Beriko]: This is one of those that emotionally hits so hard that it will stick with me forever and I will usually tear up just a tiny bit when I think back to the moments that made this one so beautiful. A lot of times a story with major hurt, angst, and tragedy won't wrap up with enough to make me scream and cheer at the end. But THIS ONE DID. And I stopped reading for a while when a big event happened because I thought it would end horribly and I'd have to suffer three weeks of fiction-induced depression for a man who wasn't even real. BUT NAY. The themes you get in this one revolve around loneliness (huge draw for me, it always hits), mafia-connected characters and the rivalries from that, self-destructive prostitution, and characters who have difficulty receiving love without freaking out. Are those even themes idk. OH WELL. YOU GET THE POINT. I want this one on my shelf. You might've heard of it, but the fandom is silent so I never did. T_T OH ALSO THE ART ON THIS ONE IS GORGEOUS I FUCKING LOVE IT.

Hitori to Hitori no 3650nichi [Hitomi]: First of all, favorite manga artist. FAVORITE MANGA ARTIST. I'm never exactly sure if the artist is also the writer or if the writer is never the artist or...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. Anyway! I listed this particular title because it was the first that I found by this person - but then I discovered it was a part of a bigger series, and there are like I DON'T KNOW FIVE DIFFERENT MANGA?? OR SOMETHING??? Related to this one. I don't know which order, I just know that I read them all in a frenzy. THE CHARACTERS. OH! OH THE CHARACTERS! Oh my gods, it's so good. LMFAO. The arcs these characters have are fantastic, and I loved the fact that the abuser in one is shown to be the victim of abuse in a prequel story, and that his anger issues and other elements of his personality came about to affect him and destroy him. Just...I don't recall the details, READ IT. That's all. Spectacular depictions of nuanced trauma within abusive relationships.

The Beast Must Die [Lee Hyeon Sook]: This remains one of my favorite depictions IN ANY MEDIA of a psychopath, because it's SO accurate and I'm SO fucking proud of the author for doing their research and OH MY GODS YOU GUYS IT'S ABOUT TO GET A DRAMA CD LET'S FUCKING GO! This story is so good. It's so evil. It's so psycho-thriller. It's so WELL DONE. It features a dark academia-ish secret society within a college setting who hunt people for sport, sometimes. LIKE. Come on. And the psychopath (dark hair) IS THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST! You could literally hear the summary and go "oh this is for Sadist". And I don't get a lot of those that deliver this well. SOMETIMES the art makes me twist my head a little but YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT CARE OKAY? It's just SO good. There's murder, there's kidnapping, and - most importantly - a main character who doesn't just DEAL with whatever the psychopath does. He's smart, he fights back, he learns to understand psychopathy to determine if he should remain with the love interest...it's fantastic. That's all. I will stop. *BANGS THE WALL*

Aporia [Seontae]: ALL HAIL THE HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIPS THAT STILL HOLD TENSION AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT AND SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!! This is my favorite BDSM-themed story. Everything is consensual, but is everything safe??? Not when it comes to the main character's emotions and tendency to sacrifice his wellbeing for a partner. BUT NOT TO WORRY, HIS SADISTIC LOVE INTEREST IS CONSIDERATE AND ATTENTIVE AND CARES ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!! This is, perhaps, one of my favorite depictions of a REAL sadist. A real one as in a realistic, irl BDSM-relationship sadist. Someone who is just as worried about taking care of his partner as he is about hurting him JUUUUST right. ANYWAY! THAT'S ALL! READ IT! HE'S LITERALLY ME!

Royal Servant [MasterGin, Chungnyun]: Okay, we were talking about healthy BDSM in the previous one, now let's talk about TOXIC BDSM-THEMES THAT I LOVE. Lmao. DO YOU LIKE MASTER/SLAVE DYNAMICS? DO YOU LIKE STORIES WHERE THE ARC LEADS TO THE ABUSIVE MASTER EVENTUALLY LEARNING TO NOT BE ABUSIVE AND LOVE THE SLAVE? YEAH ME TOO. I DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE THIS ANY FURTHER. AUTHOR OF ANGEL BUDDY, THIS IS THE ONE THAT I KNEW HER FOR FIRST.

A bunch of other good ones you may or may not have heard of (I won't describe every one of these unless I have something particular to say, so enjoy the pictures from them that I snatched):

Love me in the Wilderness [Wang Tao]

Neon Sign Amber [Ogeretsu Tanaka]

Zetsubou ni Nake [Shinou Ryo]: Guys. This story is UNIQUE AS HELL. I had to say something about it. The premise is that a man who was raped turns around and goes back after his rapist and rapes him back, and then they fall in love. IT'S....the amount of times my jaw dropped was insane on this one. SOMEHOW IT'S WRITTEN SO WELL. SOMEHOW THEY NAILED THE STRANGE REALISM OF IT AND HAD ME TEARING UP OVER THE INTENSITY OF THE RAPE SCENES. VERY WELL-PACED, VERY TRAUMATIC IN A GOOD WAY. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. The way they come to love each other after this crazy foundation of mutual rape is IMPRESSIVE. Kudos to the writer.

Love or Hate [Yeongha]: This is a very well-known one but there's like zero fandom so I think it fits here. Also a lot of hate going around for it? Which I never understood, fuck those guys. This remains one of the most beautifully-written that I've ever read, and I mean that purely in like...the ACTUAL writing on the page. I'm talking poetry, purple prose. I just recall being blown away by that, and no manga before or since has ever reached its level. For once I felt like the writer was also a novelist because of the way that they put things, and had a clear voice in the style. Did the main boy end up with someone I didn't want him to end up with at the end? Yes. But I felt like it fit pretty well, and it was sort of a tragedy, and it was supposed to hit you painfully in the gut. A lot of people were mad at the main character for that and I don't really think it's fair. In any case! A beautiful story with complex characters and intriguing dilemmas. Highly recommend it.

Shangri La no Tori (Birds of Shangri La) [Ranmaru Zariya]

Two in Six Billion [Denzou]

The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace [Upi]: Great story and character-building so far! I will say that once it became porn, it dove a little too heavily into it for me. Like I only needed one scene of the porn, I was enjoying the panic attack scenes much more. BUT YEAH, IT'S ONGOING, SO WE'LL SEE WHERE IT GOES! But the panic attack scenes were the reason I read it and yes, I did tear up.

Sleeping Dead and Living Dead [Asada Nemui]: I RECENTLY FOUND THIS ONE AND ADOOOOOOREEE IT SO MUCH. I DO NOT CARE THAT IT'S AN OLD SCIENTIST AND HIS ZOMBIE PATIENT. NORMALLY THAT WOULD HOLD NO SWAY OVER ME, BUT OH GODS, THE ART IS SO PRETTY AND THE STORY IS SO GOOD. I LOVE THE LITTLE ZOMBIE MAN! I LOVE THE LITTLE ROMANCE THEY'VE GOT!

Private Lessons [ANCO, Mongya]: It's cuuuuute what can I saayyyyy it has BDSM and threesomes and I liked it. Very entertaining. Scratches the BDSM itch and the little SUB WAS SO CUTE. Anyway.

Kingyo no Ubugoe [Gontaku Nido]

From Points of Three [White Eared]: Threesome dynamics!!

Silent Lover [Qiang Tang, Bai Li Jun Xi]: I STOPPED THIS ONE AT A CERTAIN POINT BECAUSE IT DIPPED INTO WEIRD M-PREG AND STUFF I CANNOT READ. But BEFORE all that, I was deeply ingrained in this one. It has a main character who can't speak (a particular weakness of mine) and he's OH SO CUTE and he's given as a sex slave basically to the emperor (emperor? idk he's a kingly man, something like that), and the emperor is evil but learns to be soft and yet it takes a LONG TIME SO I WAS BAWLING HYSTERICALLY OVER SOME OF THE HEARTWRENCHINGLY PAINFUL SCENES IN THIS FOR THE POOR YUU-ER. A good read until it decided to go the omegaverse-by-magic-potions route. I didn't stay to figure out where it actually ended up.

Yoru wa Tomodachi [Ido Gihou]

Toumei na Ai no Utsuwa [Hitomi]

Re:Birth [Misuaki Asou]: The singular omegaverse story in existence that I actually liked. Hopefully that says a lot. Mostly because it's about the omegaverse elements NOT being present for the main character and him trying to fake it because he's lonely and afraid that his partner (an alpha *shakes off the disgusting label because who the fuck thought alpha was a cool word*) will leave him if he finds out he's just a regular guy (aka beta I guess? ABO is weird idc).

Sahara no Kuro Washi [Soutome Emu]: MASTER SLAVE MASTER SLAVE---

Haru ni Kaeru [Kunieda Saika]

Incorrigible [Bbong]

Well Done! [ANCO, Mongya]

Nemuri Otoko to Koi Otoko [Zariya Ranmaru]

Even If You Don't Love Me [Pando]: It dropped off SUPER hard (it's ongoing still) but damn was it good in the beginning. I am sick and tired of where it's at currently but the psychological manipulation and the horror of a certain twist in the storyline was CRUSHING to me. I only wish that it would have gone a better way after it happened, because it slowly destroyed itself and became like a lot of tropey rape stories. The asshole just keeps being an asshole and it's not really where the story seemed to want to go with that. But otherwise, it started off strong and I'll give it kudos for that.

Bigger titles I'm pretty sure everyone has heard of that I enjoy:

Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai [Yoneda Kou]: Is it a little unrealistic that literally everyone in this story is gay apparently and wants to fuck one man apparently and/or rape him? Yes, absolutely. Does that matter once you're in the story and it's so good and all these unrealistic cruelties make a really strong bond between the main love interest and this self-destructive masochist who's probably not really a masochist but only interested in hurting himself because he doesn't know how else to handle his trauma from childhood? Ummmm yeah. Anyway! This one had a lot of inspiration and a lot of tears and a lot of obsession from me. I re-read it all the time, I watch the movie over and over, I listen to the audio drama and cry at my favorite scenes. Do I care in the end that it's a little unrealistic at times? No but I do laugh sometimes when I'm about to share it with a new person. Because BL is just like that generally and you've got to put up with a little of those tropes to find your favorite stories. THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP FAVORITES OF ALL TIME FOR ME BTW, IT'S ONLY SO LOW DOWN HERE BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN YAOI KNOWS ABOUT THIS ONE ALREADY, AND WE'RE ALL AWARE OF HOW GOOD IT IS.

ENNEAD [Mojito]: I will say that this is basically the best manga/comic/manhua...what's the Chinese word idk ANYTHING OF THIS MEDIA TYPE that I have ever read. It's not done, and people have been complaining that it's starting to fall into the common BL tropes but you know what I do NOT care. Mojito is a genius, Mojito is a master storyteller, Mojito is beautiful, Mojito is strong - I just love Mojito and this work. So much. The action, the horror of rape, the deep-set character conflicts and dilemmas and internal turmoils. Everything, nailed it. Nailed it. And not to mention it's set in FUCKING EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY AND THEY'RE ALL GODS AND THEY HAVE SUCH COOL BATTLES AND COSTUMES AND DUDE???? I'm so hooked. That's all.

Killing Stalking [Koogi]: OBVIOUSLY. I don't really need to say anything about this one except that yeah, some of the psychology is a little off and some of it is just super shallow. But I loved the characters and that's what mattered in the end. I fell in love with Sangwoo too and it ripped my heart out when I read the ending. I was depressed for like two weeks and it was the first story that had ever affected me that way, but I was also younger and this was one of my first yaoi/BLs and yeah. GREAT story though, fantastic storytelling, very lovable characters. Sangwoo was handled so much better than most "asshole/kidnapper/rapist" characters and I will never stop appreciating that, because a lot of writers tend to forget that your villains have to have redeeming qualities if you want us to like them (????). Jinx, I'm fucking coming for you. Suck my dick. KOOGI FTW.

Missing Love/A Married Man [In Hyerin]: Some of the DESCRIPTIONS of how trauma works especially of the sexual nature in this story are SO. SO. GOOD. However, I am beginning to grow VERY ANNOYED at where it decided to go with the most current updates of the story. The author did enough trauma to the main boy, now it's getting so incredibly excessive that it's overdoing it and the author's kinks are showing through. LIKE I GET IT. Okay? I do. But this one became too much and I need him to return to the actual story arc of going through that trauma so he can HEAL with the right person taking care of him.

MadK [Ryo Sumiyoshi]: I am into NONE of the kinks that would lead to me picking up this manga. I hate demons, I'm not a monsterfucker, I can't do extreme guro, and yet I SAW CANNIBALISM. THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT I THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A TRY FOR. And then accidentally I got obsessed because the plot is AMAZING and the writing is SO GOOD and who cares if I hate demons and monsters ALL OF THEM ARE BADASS AND HOT (??) AND IT CEASES TO MATTER. Good on the writer for making them appeal by personality alone and expressions and whatever else you signed a deal with the devil to make me like because it worked. Also the guro is beautiful, so it doesn't even matter. Hannibal levels.

Warehouse [Killerwhale]

Painter of the Night [Byeonduck]

Viewfinder/Finder [Yamane Ayano]

Given [Kizu Natsuki, Gusari]

Nii-Chan [Harada] (and basically every other work by Harada)

Sadistic Beauty Side Story [Geumsan Lee, Woo Yeonhui]

Dine With a Vampire [Pangin, Pinko]

Angel Buddy [Mastergin, Chungnyun]

My Partner's Tastes and Fetishes [Deok Hwa]

Interview with a Murderer [KJK]

On or Off [A1]

Steel Under Silk [Snob]

The Pawn's Revenge [Evy]: It was going to be SO GOOD! And then it dropped off harder than a boulder from a balcony and I have absolutely no idea why the author took it the way that they took it, but go off I guess. It's boring as hell now but it started off with promise and I enjoyed the art and character designs. Too bad, I suppose.

Caste Heaven [Ogawa Chise]: An old classic with all the sticky sometimes icky mostly ridiculous BL tropes but hey, it's cute. It's sexy. It's fun. I don't care.

Wet Sand [Doyak]: We're still in the beginning stage of this one but I'm excited to see where it goes! Plus the art SLAPS ASS like nobody's business.

19 Days [Old Xian]: I hate comedy, I hate fluff, I hate buddies that never become lovers, but none of that mattered when I picked this one up. The duality of man. Bite-sized chapters and ACTUALLY AN EVENTUAL ROMANCE that none of us thought we'd ever get.

Legs That Won't Walk [Black Apricot]: Although this one dropped off hard for me and I'm really just following it to see if it picks up again and does something interesting (it probably won't) I did enjoy it in the beginning. I just get tired of the "asshole just keeps being an asshole and nothing else but woobified slut keeps coming back to him??" without the strong and realistic undercurrent of Reasons Why Someone Would Come Back such as manipulation or threats or unhealthy attachment. Perhaps it was sorta there in the beginning with them but now I'm just like why are we still continuing this story.

Pearl Boy [Inking, Zoy]: *Awkwardly scratches neck* It's not the best okay? It's not. It's really not. I don't like half of the things that occur in this one, but the ART, bro. THE ART, BRO? That's what got me into it and what kept me into it, PLUS I do like little Jooha. I stayed for Jooha, too. Dooshik drives me a little batty most of the time and looks ugly for half the story to me, but when he's badass, he's pretty badass, so I can forgive him. I really don't know why he has such drastically changing appearances because I thought he was someone completely different for a bit LMAO. In any case, I have to admit I like the uhhhhh danger that Jooha gets himself into and the crazy things that make no sense but you know what he gets hurt and then there's comfort and rescue and they cry and I cease to care that it makes no sense. (Sorta, I don't actually cease to care I just laugh awkwardly and go okay sure that's how it works because it's so hard to find stories that don't do this LOL I'm beating a dead horse) BUT WHY DOES HE CUM PEARLS? WILL WE EVER KNOW? WHO THE HELL THOUGHT OF THAT AND WITHOUT A SUPPORTING MAGIC SYSTEM IN THE WORLD TO MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE? IT WENT DOWNHILL SO FAST AND THE ENDING IS TERRIBLE BTW. THE VILLAIN SUCKS.

That's it. I can't talk to much or I'll run out of words but HOPE YOU GUYS FIND SOME NEW READS!!

#why does Tumblr only allow a certain amount of images #what a crime #bl recommendation #yaoi manga #yaoi recommendation #bl manga #top ten #my favorites #my recs #yaoi #sadist’s answered asks #whump #fujoshi #yaoi bl #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #scarlet beriko #harada #killing stalking

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colleendoran · 2 years ago

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Misunderstanding

I received a note from someone who was upset I “failed to cite Scott McCloud’s Understanding Comics” in my research for my work on Neil Gaiman's Chivalry and the essays I wrote about it.

I really appreciate that people want to make sure credit goes where it's due, and I have a lot of respect for Scott McCloud's accomplishment with his wonderful book.

I haven't read it myself in some years, and didn't cite it in my articles because I didn't reference it. I don't even know where my copy is so I don't know what McCloud referenced, either.

The information in my articles re: illuminated manuscripts and the Bayeux Tapestry, as well as other theories about the development of sequential art from prehistory, not only predate McCloud's work (and in fact, predate McCloud's birth,) but they are so common and so well known in comics circles that asking me to cite them seems as weird to me as asking me to cite the information that George Washington was the first President of the United States.

A part of me wonders if someone is trying to play, "Let's you and him fight."

No.

But I’m happy to bring to your attention some reading material.

Stephen Becker in his 1959 work Comic Art in America: A Social History of the Funnies, the Political Cartoons, Magazine Humor, Sporting Cartoons, and Animated Cartoons was among the first to discuss the Bayeux Tapestry as comic art. I read that book sometime in the 1980’s. I think a lot of people assume the Bayeux tapestry as comic art was McCloud’s idea, but we don’t all walk around with a reference library in our heads, so there you go. I can’t find my copy of Becker’s work to quote, but I did find an article by Arthur Asa Berger with a mention of the Bayeux Tapestry as comic art in the summer 1978 issue of The Wilson Quarterly.

My first exposure to the idea of comics as descendant of fine art was Maurice Horn’s 1976 The World Encyclopedia of Comics which was my first read re: comics history. I still have my tattered 1976 edition.

While Horn scorned the idea that tapestries and manuscripts could be comic art (see, it was a matter of discussion way back then, so much so that authors were writing snarky asides to one another about it,) he believed the origin of sequential art was in the Renaissance sketches of Leonardo da Vinci - which I think everyone now agrees is kind of a bonkers idea.

I think Horn was just intent on elevating the comic art form by hooking up with da Vinci.

You go, boi.

Comics as descendant of art on scrolls is a very common theory, the easiest to trace being in Manga! Manga! The World of Japanese Comics by Fred Schodt published in 1983 when I was still a teenager. I can't find my copy to show examples, but this text is still in print and you can go read it for yourself.

I was introduced to manga by cartoonist Leslie Sternbergh and bought Schodt’s book at Books Kinokuniya on (I think) a trip to New York around the time of first publication of Schodt’s work. And years later took a trip to Japan with Fred Schodt and a group of cartoonists including Jeff Smith and Jules Fieffer, Nicole Hollander, and Denys Cowan as the guests of Tezuka Productions.

Here we all are.

So, I’m familiar with manga, see.

As for comics as descendant of cave paintings, hieroglyphics and ancient art in general, Will Eisner’s 1985 Comics and Sequential Art not only made all of those points, but made those points with comic art examples. Like these.

And this.

And more than a few words on this:

I find it amusing that someone is questioning why I didn’t cite McCloud when what you should probably be questioning is why more people don’t cite Eisner who produced his book eight years before McCloud published his and who is well known to have influenced McCloud.

Whatever. My book's autographed.

I also danced with Eisner. Eat your heart out.

Understanding Comics is a terrific work with huge advantages over every book (that I know of) about comics that came before: it taught comics entirely in the language of comics.

But the discussion in it about the origins of comics and my work especially re: illuminated manuscripts/tapestries, did not originate with McCloud. I research illuminated manuscripts because it’s my hobby and it informs my art.

I encourage everyone to read Understanding Comics because it is an outstanding work.

But it’s not the book that introduced me to the concepts of the development of comic art. It’s not even the point of origin of those concepts. So, there is no reason to cite it.

Also, shocking as it may seem, I occasionally come up with ideas on my own. While I'm younger than McCloud, I've actually been a comics pro longer than he has. So I've had plenty of opportunity to, you know, read things and toss things around, and decide for myself.

When I first read Chivalry and first begged Neil Gaiman to let me adapt it, my head full of the work of Alberto Sangorski and his art for Tennyson’s Le Morte D’Arthur, Understanding Comics hadn’t been published yet.

It's been a good twelve years since I last read McCloud's work, and I don't think I've spoken to him five times in the last three decades. But I'm pretty sure he never mentioned Sangorski.

I hope that clears everything up, and maybe introduces some of you to some works you might not be aware of.

Have a great day.

#understanding comics #comics history #neil gaiman #scott mccloud #chivalry #jules fieffer #tezuka productions #manga #will eisner

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bimir · 5 months ago

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it's not something strange or unique to say that after the last haikyuu movie, most of us got into it again, but at the same time, I know for sure that I'm not the only one who benefits the most from this re...union.

I went to see the haikyuu movie alone, and at first, it didn't hit me that much. maybe it was because I couldn't help but wonder how much I would have enjoyed it with my best friend, but we are grown-ups now and long distance.

after a couple of days, the internet was full of haikyuu content again, just like during lockdown, and because of that, I also got into it again and realized how much of a masterpiece it is.

haikyuu is well known, but in my opinion, it is underestimated and categorized by others as just a silly volleyball-sport anime. it saddens me so much that there are so many people who will never get to embrace this piece of art.

Furudate not only created a coming-of-age story, a story that inspired and still inspires generations to fight for their dreams, to engage in the complex mess of relationships, teamwork, and partnerships. haikyuu teaches you that if you really do have a dream, and if you are really ambitious, if you work hard for it, your time will come too. but it also teaches you that not choosing to be great is not a tragedy; your dreams of what a good life means can be different from the ideals of others: "life is unfair, but damn it, at the same time, it is really fair too."

so why did I go on writing about this? because I can't comprehend how haikyuu manages to be there for me at the best time—or the worst, better said—how it really took its "comfort anime" title seriously for me. I started haikyuu in my last year of high school: extremely stressed, depressed, and anxious, so scared of what the upcoming end would mean for me that I'd tricked myself into living by coming to the conclusion that I'd simply not make it to 18 if I didn't see a future for myself. it seemed only fair and the universe would do its thing, no? I know, kinda depressing and triggering, but it did help that miserable me then, it did help but not in the way I prayed it would. the universe didn't send me "death," it sent me life and hope through haikyuu. feeling so empty, so bland for such a long time, haikyuu managed to make me laugh and cry. it doesn't sound like much, but real ones know what I'm talking about. seeing their connection, their ambition, the troubles and feelings I was so desperate to put into words right in front of me saved me from my misery. I began to wish to live, to wish to be like them, to wish to fight, to wish to connect again with people.

now, after almost 4 years, I'm in my last year of uni. the main reason for my depression back then in high school was because I didn't know what to do with my life, what uni and career to choose. hell, I didn't know I would take this path until last autumn, but here I am, on my way to becoming a teacher. it's hard, really hard, but right now, after the new movie, I finally committed to start and finish the manga even though I knew bits and pieces of what happens. it was the best time to read it now. over these 3-4 years, I pondered why I couldn't start getting into the manga and see for myself what happens, but damn it was the best time to read it now. seeing them go all out on their path, learning that in order to succeed you need to fight and fight and fight, to push through, to overcome your limits, to push yourself, to not take it easy if you really want it, came at the best time as I got into a slump and a burnout from learning too much but also not learning enough. I've got to see all of the characters continuing to be pros while fighting for their way, but also choosing to let go of something they once loved in order to live a normal life.

haikyuu is like a reminder that there is more to life than just your high school/childhood years, that your path could take a 180-degree turn at any point, but at the same time, it makes you appreciate those times and not want to sweep your childlike wonder, your growth, and mistakes under a rug. Furudate was a genius for creating haikyuu, and I really hope and pray that haikyuu will continue to be there, to comfort and save future generations until the end of time.

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#manga #anime #karasuno #nekoma #fukurodani #aoba johsai #hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio #oikawa tooru #kozume kenma #bokuto koutarou #miya atsumu #fly #jump #my writing #yapping

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waterloggedsoliloquy · 1 year ago

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mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

#cecil drawls #long post #i love you guys

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coveholdenmyluv · 3 months ago

Text

I. Midoriya - New Beginnings

Synopsis. Stained and calloused, the commission has nurtured your palms into silent artillery and trained you to fight the wolves they throw you in with. Not at all accounting for the possibility that you too might learn to bite the hand that feeds you.

- Or alternatively - in which the Hero Commission recruits YOU to go undercover as a student in UA to keep a certain class, who already seems to be a magnet for trouble, in check...

It's safe to say you get a little more than what your briefing covered.

A story of the finding of self love, a family, and a new beginning.

Series masterlist.

Chapter warnings. slight manga spoilers in the beginning portion, though it isn’t obvious and not noticeable if you haven’t actually read the manga. blood. reader is very troubled. fluff. slow chapter.

Chapter synopsis. Have you ever wanted to chill with Keigo Takami and watch the sports festival? Well, here’s that.

Prologue: Beginning of the End. 10.5k words

The smell of copper inhabited your nostrils, along with the stench of sweat and humidity; it was stifling.

Your hair went disheveled and stuck to your dewy forehead whilst you laid upon dirt and what was left of the tattered ground. Your hero suit was torn arbitrarily and your aching limbs thwarted your ability to pursue your current goals of saving Japan, but most importantly, the man beside you. The ring wrapped snuggly around your finger now tore into your skin, and the newly acquired injuries that would surely leave behind their scars on your still young body were spewing out crimson liquid — the same crimson liquid you have gained familiarity with throughout the span of your entire life. Your own body is sizzling to the touch, you swear you're almost steaming, and figures familiar to you were littered across the expanse cage you have enclosed yourselves in, most just barely clinging to a steady breath.

"You were mine since you were young, Y/N. There was no use hiding and rejecting me." The monster with detached golden eyes declared. His hand clutched the thick of your throat, an action that causes your own to instinctively claw at his grip as tears gathered in the corners of your E/C eyes. Your legs, now dangling above the ground, went limp and would serve no more, they were as lifeless as your wilting will to live.

And then, an agonizing wave of invasion swept into the entirety of your body, it seeped and snuck its way into the nooks and crannies. It was as if there was a foreign soma forcing its annexation onto your soul, mind, and spirit. It came with a purpose — there was something it yearned from you, and it would not accept defeat.

And, unfortunately, it was succeeding.

You could physically feel that part of yourself being ripped and pried from the inside out, it was excruciating to your very core. Though, perhaps it wasn't as physical as you had first thought it to be. There was something that made up the entirety of yourself that was being pilfered right from your very hands and there was no struggle to be had.

"I will take what is rightfully mine, something that should have been done years ago." He continued with no quiver present in his voice and no bluff to be detected.

The man beside you must have realized that fact, for he groaned in protest and in a last ditch effort to frustrate the one sided exchange, his curled fist pierced a fine edged carmine sword into the monster's chest. He wouldn't, nor could he, allow even a fragment of the essence that fabricated your being to be pilfered. He couldn't ever bear the will to forgive himself if so.

Newly crafted tears slid down the fat of your cheeks, though their origin did not stem from the pressure being applied to your esophagus. You wanted to cry out and protest, you yearned to do so, but all that escaped your throat were croaks, rasps, and coughs. You had run out of fight and could save no more, for even the salvation of yourself seemed intangible.

"Mine."

You were hopeless.

But then, your name began to ring, your actual name — not that wretched hero alias you had been bestowed when young. Someone was calling out to you, the real you. That small and fragile girl curled into a ball in the warm pits of your own heart for she deserves no less of a home. The minute delicacy you treat with the utmost care because no one else dared to.

No one else, expect for him.

Because he too cradles his own self with the thick skin of his worn hands, for not even his own mother, and much less his father, had ever cared to. He, who you'd hold a million times over if that meant he'd receive the same amount of comfort you have been allowed.

Him and them.

They, who have allowed you into their found family with wide open arms and a spot within. They who saw you, the real you, and despite each finger on both of your hands being stained with the same crimson liquid currently spewing out of your figure, still handled every callous with the utmost care. They held your tainted hands and soul with their own contrasting ones because they love you.

They, both them and him, give you purpose; the will to live.

So when you hear your name being cried, that once small and fragile girl stands towering and impenetrable. An invigorating draft spreads throughout your entire body, one different than the blaze your skin is experiencing. The tepid feeling enveloping you feels right and like a security blanket. It's a sensation that you never want to slip from your grasp, you crave to feel it for the rest of however long your life filled with a never ending fight lasts.

Unfortunately, it is slipping and seeping through the cracks of your fingers and it has yet to seize.

Your name is still being called, you can hear it, only now it's louder and the hot breath can be felt in your ear. The voice is familiar, so near and dear, alike a feather on your cheek dancing across your skin to the soothing tune making its way towards your nose.

Then, you awake.

"Tickle tickle." Came a smooth but masculine voice. "Yo, sleeping beauty! Don't make me get Kitty on your case." You could feel the weight of his body inhabiting the space beside you, as well as the open palm laying atop of your shoulder where his head perches itself on. "Good morning, bed head. Where did you run off to in dream land this time?" He continued.

In a frenzy, your body suddenly shoots upright and your breath goes rapid while your head feels feverish. Your heaving causes your fingers to grip the sheets on either side of your thighs in an attempt to ground yourself whilst your bloodshot eyes look every which way frantically.

"Woah, hey hey, calm down." Said the familiar voice, though not as animated as it previously was, now sounding more intimate in tone. His face appears within your line of sight which causes your heart to begin to steady itself immediately. "You're safe." He whispers.

Keigo.

Shutting your eyes and reaching your fingers across your chest, you clutch your shirt, willing your heart to calm it's hasty thumping. Warm hands plant themselves atop your shaking shoulders, bringing forth comfort to your panic stricken self. After you allow yourself a moment to gather your bearings, your eyes hesitantly peek at your surroundings.

You realize you're in your bedroom with pale violet sheets enveloping your form. Your curtains are drawn, most likely the doing of the young man now trying his best to wiggle himself into your line of sight. That is the moment you truly allow yourself to gaze at him: his scar free skin and unruly dirty blond hair were the first to strike you.

You could have sworn his mane was shorter the last you had seen it.

His golden eyes were the same, though they were missing the clues of stress and sleepless nights. His vibrant red feathered wings were tousled behind his back, always appearing ruffled in the early hours of the day.

Using a palm, you touch your own forehead in an attempt to ease the slight headache currently possessing you. "Was it that dream again?" He speaks softly, both of his brows nearly meeting each other in a worried manner.

You sigh before you answer, "No, this was... different. It wasn't a memory- or at least I don't think so. It seemed too real for that. As if I could feel the pain, mentally and physically, that I was going through." You explain.

He cocked his head in confusion, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Your puzzled gaze meets his own and you hesitantly reply, "That's the thing... I don't even remember what it was about."

Keigo hums in ponderment while his lips purse, "I see... well, I made coffee downstairs if you want some. Hopefully it'll come back later." He suggests, though you aren't sure if reliving that dream sequence is something you desire. "Don't force yourself, you can always stay and rest if your head hurts too much." He reassures, and you surmised that he must have noticed the discomfort on your face.

Suddenly, sharp claws and soft paws anchored themselves into your thighs, almost branding you as dough in the process. "Ouch." You mutter as you rub at your tired eyes. "Kittyyyy-" You whine next and slip the small fur ball into your arms in an attempt to halt her affectionate assault.

"Told ya." The man at your side teased, "She doesn't want you to miss the introductions." He adds.

"Introductions?"

"The Sports Festival is about to begin, if you want to join me. Like I said, don't force yourself. I could always record it for you if you'd prefer, and then we can watch it during dinner instead."

'Oh, that's right. I promised I'd watch it with him.' You reminded yourself.

"It's fine, I'm probably just hungry." You chuckle lightly.

He perks up at your words and lifts a finger in the air as if to stop you from speaking any further. "Say no more, I made you a smoothie bowl! Topped with your favorites, of course." He declared with a smug grin.

"Thanks Kei." You say with a small smile tilting your lips, "I think I can deal with it for today."

He lifts himself from your bed and you notice that he is still clad in his crème silk pajama set, dressed to stay in for the day. "I know you can, trooper. I'll see you downstairs, don't take too long." He told you with a sing-song lilt to his voice. It's only when he's halfway out the door that you notice the two of you have slept in matching apparel.

You gasp in horror, "Did you copy my PJ's?! Again?!" You yelled after him.

"I had them on first!" He defends with the same amount of volume.

"I highly doubt that." You mutter to yourself bitterly.

Slipping the covers off of your body, you begrudgingly swing your legs to dangle on the side of your bed. Your arms instinctively stretch themselves above your head as you prepare yourself to take on the leisure day and your body begins to mourn the loss of comfort that your duvet provided. Kitty hops off of your bed and pads along the ground behind you as you slip on your fluffy house slippers and begin your journey to your personal bathroom.

Stepping up to the sink, you grab a hair tie and sweep your long locks out of your face to begin the cleansing of your teeth, albeit as groggily as humanly possible.

Today is the annual Sports Festival and also happens to be one of your very rare days off. The event is one that people from all over the country clear their schedules for in favor of tuning in. Always eager for a taste of what the next generation of heroes have to offer, and rightfully so, considering they will one day be the Pros patrolling their familiar streets. Graduating from UA, the only school that holds a festival as grand as this one, almost guarantees you a spot within the top 100 heroes. That fact being proven by most of the top 5 currently inhabiting the rankings having been UA graduates themselves.

Keigo, or Hawks as many know him, is apart of the minority so high in the rankings that haven't even spent a day on the campus. You are set to follow suit, once you are of age.

After you finish with your teeth, you turn the faucet to begin the purification of your face. Closing your eyes, you gently douse water into your pores to rejuvenate your skin. Once you feel adequately satisfied, your eyes flutter open and you lift your hand before you in aim to close the flow of the water.

Only to find that once your eyes adjust and clear their vision, water is not what coats your fingers, palms, and face.

Sanguine liquid paints the skin of your palms so heavily that even your fingerprints are not visible.

Your breath quickens and your body begins to tremble as you instinctively lift your gaze onto the mirror and gape at the reflection bearing itself back at you. Your unnaturally green irises stare petrified, but what causes your lip to quiver is the striking color of liquid that is splashed against your face. You forcefully squeeze your eyes shut and your palms slam themselves onto the surface of your counter; breath heavy as you attempt to ease your mind.

Red.

All you see is red, everything is red. You hate the color red. Red brings carnage and horror-stricken screeches preaching bloody Mary. Red draws out the nightmares buried from your past, a past your mind refuses to remember. The feeling of warm red liquid hauls the taste of bile to your throat, clawing and cleaving its way up into your mouth. You hate vomit, it makes you feel like you can't breathe or speak. You feel like you're drowning and the harder you swim, the faster you sink.

"Meow."

You halt mid breath and cautiously pivot your head towards the sudden noise.

You forgot Kitty had followed you into the bathroom, where she sat delicately on your counter whilst she groomed herself.

That's right, Kitty.

Keigo had allowed you to keep the once frail stray, despite the slight allergies her presence brought him in spring. It was only ever in that season when his nose would grow red and his eyes puffy. He even helped you choose her name, despite how stupid it may be. You both weren't as bright when it came to those matters, but you didn't mind. It was a name you both chose of your own free will, with no external power or matters crying in your ears for something different.

Red — Kitty's collar is red, and furnished with a bow littered with small sewn in fishes. You had picked it out yourself and attached a silver bell to the ring.

Keigo's wings are red, as well. The most vibrant shade of carmine you have ever seen, and they were stunning too. Those feathers littered around your home were soft and velvety, not once have they ever made you feel asphyxiated, it was the opposite really.

Your lips aren't naturally red, far from it,but in the past you had seen The Snake Hero: Uwabami flaunt her newest shade of vermillion on a billboard. You didn't feel stifled then, either.

You allow yourself to breathe at your own pace and in-take as much oxygen as your lungs can hold. "It's just in your head, it's just in your head. It's not real, nothing is. You're home, you're safe." You whisper to yourself.

Your eyes cautiously draw themselves back towards the mirror to risk a glance at your reflection.

Your green eyes still peer back into your soul, as expected, though your face is no longer obscured, showing off the beautiful tone of your supple skin. Shifting your gaze, it lands on the palms that are displayed before you and you begin to analyze every line and indent engraved into the pads of your fingers, until you clench them into tightly closed fists.

Your vision grows cloudy as you whimper, "How did you do it, Nagant?"

You guess she hadn't known the answer herself, which is why her situation ended as it did.

"How did you deal with the guilt?" You whispered into the vacant air, words lifted and towed with the flow of your AC. Questions that would never be heard nor answered.

Still, you steeled your piercing gaze and reminded yourself, "Purpose. This is my purpose." That familiar phrase that has been repeated since you were young. "What I'm doing is the right thing. I'm a hero." You say with a now steady breath, though the pit in your stomach remains as heavy as ever.

Finishing your morning routine in silence, you then head down the stairs of your shared penthouse and into the open kitchen where Keigo waits patiently. He hands you your favorite mug filled with coffee upon your arrival and makes his way into the living room where he takes his place on your plush modern couch.

"You're just on time, intros are about to start." He informs you with his own steaming mug in his hands.

Still standing behind your kitchen counter, the open layout allows you to view the flat screen TV without having to move a centimeter. "Yay me." You husked dispassionately, taking a sip from your cup and savoring the creamy taste on your taste buds. Keigo always makes the best coffee in your opinion.

"Shh, it's starting." He dismisses your remark with a wave, earning a soft chuckle from you.

The screen opens with the Voice Hero: Present Mic making his enthusiastic appearance. His boisterous voice was heard from your speaker, announcing the commencement of the annual event.

"Heya! Pay attention audience, are you ready?!"

They couldn't have chosen a person more fit than the voice hero himself, having the ability to uplift the audience with their energy and commentary alone. The screen pans to a lively audience who all express their excitement in their own ways.

You grab the smoothie bowl that Keigo had prepared for you, indeed being topped with your favorites just as he had promised, and made your way into the living area to join the man lounging on the couch. The moment after you take your seat and set your meal onto the coffee table before you, a light weight settles itself into the warmth of your lap.

"Morning, Kitty." You spoke softly while petting the fur ball that vibrated on your thighs.

Kitty was blessed with a silky grey and white coat of fur that fluffed up in every which direction, but most especially near her tail. She has hazel eyes embellished by natural black eyeliner which resembles that of Queen Cleopatra herself.

Kitty is one of the few privileges you were granted that other kids your age might also be — she is continuously a beautiful reminder of the joy you are allowed.

You hummed, "Hey, you fed Kitty, right?" You ask the man beside you, knowing his morning task was to do so. "She's been following me around all morning like she wants something from me." You narrow your eyes suspiciously.

The man in question nods in confirmation, before he looks to your lap where he gifts the kitten a disapproving glare. "You ate before your Power Nap, Kitty. You need to wait for lunch like the rest of us." He scolds before he leans himself nearer to you and shields his mouth with a palm to whisper, "She's giving you the feed me now look, don't fall for it Y/N."

Whether due to her keen hearing or Keigo's inability to undertone his voice, she very obviously caught his words and how hypocritical she thought them to be considering the dull expression she gave him and the bowl in his hands. It was almost as if she was questioning why he wasn't practicing what he was preaching.

You guessed she had seen him sneak in a snack before you joined him downstairs, which wouldn't have surprised you nor would you have blamed him if so. The strict diet the commission had you both sustaining did not allow much leeway, so anything extra you could sneak in during the day was considered a blessing.

"Wha- Did you see that, Y/N?! Your damn cat is calling me fat!" He yelled in pure anguish whilst pointing an accusatory finger her way.

"Keigo, you were nominated for this years "Sluttiest Waist in Hero Society" and the only reason you came as a close second was because apparently, EdgeShot activating Foldabody to lessen his amount of millimeters, was allowed. I think you're fine." You state blankly. "Plus... she's my cat and therefore can never do wrong in my eyes."

He squawks in offense before he decides to simply return his irritated gaze to the television you had both been ignoring.

Cats and birds never did get along, did they?

"The miraculous new stars who overcame enemy attacks with their hearts of steel! Hero course, Class 1-A!"

Out stepped twenty teens that marched their way onto the center of the stadium where they took the stage.

"Oh wow, what a colorful class." You chuckled through a snort, though you harbored no ill intent. The variety of the colors that made up the sea of first years was so vast, it humored you a bit. The screen panning allowed you to spot heads donning colors from brown to pink and even two-toned manes. The contradicting expressions of nonchalance and trembling fear over the attention they were harboring brought the both of you such hilarity that you couldn't contain.

You yourself weren't a stranger to lenses being shoved in your face — it's a package deal that comes with constantly being seen beside the number three hero.

"Ain't that right. Holy shit, that's Endeavors kid isn't it? The smallest Todoroki, I believe." Keigo says as he squints his eyes at the screen.

"Endeavors kid? He joined UA?" You ask, though it was a pretty stupid question. It shouldn't have surprised you that such a protégé would follow in his father's footsteps, but for some reason it did. You have never met the boy nor his father but you wouldn't stagger if that were to ever happen, seeing as both you and the two-toned boy rank similarly in the social hierarchy.

He nods his head and sets his, now empty, bowl beside yours on the coffee table. "Yup, did I tell you that I'm thinking of mentoring one of these kids for an internship?" He asks.

Your face contorts in slight perplexity, "What? No you haven't told me anything pertaining that. I thought you weren't interested in mentoring anyone from the next generation." You question the man as you shift to look his way, he doesn't gift you the same courtesy, instead opts to keep his gaze pointed at the screen displaying the rest of the first year classes.

"Not true, you're apart of the next generation and I'd like to think I've played a diligent role in your mentoring." He rebuts.

Kissing your teeth, your eyes roll dismissively, "That's different."

"How so?"

"You know how."

"Well, I had a change of heart." He states and you have trouble believing him.

"So, what? Don't tell me you're considering baby Todoroki, he's probably going to be scouted by his own dad." You remind him.

"We'll see. I have time, maybe someone else will catch my eye." He considers.

Slapping a palm to your lips, you snort, "Stop looking at them like you're at a pet store, Kei!" He grins and shrugs his shoulders at you. "Why the sudden change of heart anyway? Since when do you need a UA sidekick? Last I checked, the agency was doing so good that the sidekicks you already have are allowed two breaks per day." You ask him.

"Cause why not?" He says nonchalantly.

Keigo has always been blunt and a very good liar, so theoretically his answer would have fooled anyone else, anyone but you. He was present in your earliest memories which led you both to know each other like the back of your hands. Your existences played crucial roles in your reasons for being heroes.

The longer you looked at him as if he were demented, the more he let up on the front he was attempting to mask himself with.

"Look, it's nothing, okay? I promise. Just a bit of investigation on my own part, and I'm not even one hundred percent sure I'll be making any offers yet." He reassures you as softly as he can.

Hawks is a hero through and through, and a damn good one at that. You trust Hawks to handle the safety of the citizens with the utmost care.

But Keigo? The Keigo you have known and grown with? You trust that man with every fiber of your being, so much so that if he grew the strange urge to awaken you at some ungodly hour of the night and told you to pack your shit because he planned to run away with you, you'd grab your luggage and ask where to. So, if that man is telling you that this is no cause to worry about, you'll try your damn best to let him be and not worry about it.

"Fine." You relent.

"Quiet everyone!" Says a new voice coming from the speakers, stealing your attention. Standing tall on the designated stage was the R-rated Hero: Midnight, dressed in her controversial hero outfit. "Representing the students this year is Katsuki Bakugo from Class 1A!" She announces proudly, whipping her whip for emphasis.

With his hands in his pocket, an ash blond with scarlet eyes trudges himself up the metal steps exuding an air of boyish insouciance. The stadium settles into an eerie silence with the attendees on the edges of their seats, eager to hear what the student had to pledge.

"I pledge... that I'll be number one."

His declaration of war causes the throng of students before him to catapult aggrieved 'Boo's' in his direction, not at all pleased by his haughty assertion of dominance. Contrasting the sour group of teens, the man beside you cackles at the audacity.

"Can you believe the balls on that kid?" He says through a fit of giggles.

"I wonder if the puppy's bite is as strong as his bark." You add amusedly.

Midnight then officially begins the event by appointing an obstacle course as the first game they will have to compete in. It seems easy enough and may even be enjoyable considering they are allowed the use of their quirks.

The very obvious first obstacle was the narrow entry way in which the students rushed through to get to the rest of the hurdles, ignorantly paying no heed to the cramped space. Most students try their best to bulldoze their way through, almost molding themselves as one in the process. Though, suddenly their attempts get thwarted by a frosty sheet of ice billowing white mist along with it and effectively immobilizing and solidifying the students to the ground.

"Baby Todoroki." Keigo says, clearly impressed by the quick spring to action displayed by the teen who emerged on the other side of the entrance, successfully sauntering through the first obstacle.

Although a few managed to escape his frozen shackles, he was the first of the first years to take action and in the span of seconds, which was an impressive feat on its own. "He doesn't seem like much of a baby to me." You admit. Not only that, but his quick and skillful thinking has acquired him current first place, which was sure to garner the attention of quite a few elite pros, including the one beside you.

It seems that the few who promptly escaped the frost king's clutches were none other than his fellow classmates. Their difference in experience unquestionably playing a crucial role in the measures being displayed today.

"Are those... sticky balls?" Keigo asks from beside you, his face teetering the edge of genuine curiosity and mirth. He was referring to a small boy pulling at dark purple balls that lined the top of his head, which he used to ricochet off of.

Without warning, a guffaw slips past your lips which you eagerly attempt to conceal with a palm. "S-stop Kei... that's so immature and so not f-funny."

Colossal robots, that were once again swiftly subdued by the same two-toned boy, were the next obstacle that the school had invested in.

"That boy does not miss." Keigo remarks.

Unfortunately for the rest of the students, he had only hindered the mechanical objects momentarily, though that didn't seem like much of a hassle for the confident blond named Bakugo. The boy used the explosions erupting from his hands to carry himself up and over the obstructions. Following his perseverance, a few more of his class members make their way through, displaying their unyielding tenacity.

"Class 1-A doesn't waste time standing around." You comment. "It's interesting, just the one experience has drowned out their hesitance?" You murmur, not ready to admit to yourself that you were thoroughly impressed.

"Oh, I'd dominate this one." The pro next to you says as the next obstacle appears on screen — a landscape with various chunks of rocks stemming up from the ground like pillars, creating multiple dangerous cliffs leading to who knows where. The duality of the hurdles needed to be overcome presented the ability for a variety of quirks to make their marks. A girl with what you assumed was a frog quirk easily made her way across the thin tightrope, a support course student showcased her own inventions as she swung herself through the course, and a boy with engines in his calves did his best to glide on through.

And finally, the third test was a huge dirt field with hidden landmines, a minefield.

"By the way, these landmines are for games, so they're not that powerful... but they're loud and flashy enough to make you wet your pants!" Present Mic announces enthusiastically.

"Mic is in his Tengen Uzui era?" Keigo questions.

"That or UA wants to see how many lawsuits they can get in a day." You guessed.

As if proving truth to your words, many students acting impulsively haphazardly step on multiple mines, causing them to be thrusted into the air by the hot pink blasts. You had to admit, the sight was quite entertaining.

"Oh you've gotta be kidding me." You comment with a roll of your eyes as you notice the callow way Todoroki and Bakugo, who have both consistently kept the lead, seemed to be getting physical on the field all the while sustaining their pace to the finish line.

"And now we've got someone new in the lead! Rejoice mass media, it's the kind of development you guys love!"

Just as the brawl between the top two was growing interesting, a profound explosion was heard near the beginning of the field, and out came a green tuft of hair from where the blast originated, soaring in the air on a matching in color chunk of metal.

"Class A's Midoriya is in hot pursuit of first place... actually, scratch that, he's taken the lead!"

"Where the hell did he come from?" Keigo asks stupefied.

"I don't know, but... that was kind of badass." You answered, finding your interest piqued by the sudden change of events. If this underdog had a plan as to how he was going to land, be it with his quirk or not, then he might actually have a chance at taking first in the last few seconds.

"Holy hell, he used them as stepping stools!" Keigo yelled with a flutter of his wings, most likely caused by his sudden excitement.

Kitty, who had gone unbothered for most of the morning, had decided she had enough of the man's voice and hopped off your lap. The ball of fluff pranced her way up the stairs, presumably on her way to the comfort of your room. Not that either of you noticed since you were preoccupied lifting your jaws off the ground.

The teen had lunged himself in a way that seemed as if he had used the back of the former leaders as a means to steady himself so that he could slam the green slab of metal he was riding onto the floor, applying the pressure needed to activate yet another explosion to propel himself forward. The eruption of pink smoke billowed in the air, hindering only two of the three boys fighting for first place.

"He just violated his classmates..." You uttered in astonishment.

"Violated? He demolished and humiliated them." Keigo countered, "No way he's gonna stay in first though, right?"

Your lips pursed in thought, "I'd say it's fifty-fifty, we don't even know if he's used his quirk yet." You surmise. "But, to be honest? He stuck the landing, so the odds are looking pretty well for him. Gosh, what are they feeding these kids?"

"Fried chicken."

Surprisingly, the underdog was indeed able to sustain his rank and claimed first place in the primary game. It was far more impressive given the fact that, as far as you saw, he didn't seem to make any use of a quirk. Even throughout the second game, a Calvary battle that team Todoroki emerged victorious in, he pursued his consistency of foregoing quirk usage, and that fact alone was enough to puncture your skin with a hook and reel any spectator in.

With the start of the final game, one-on-one duels, tension was already palpable in the air, though not only for the competitors but as well as the audience.

"Ten bucks that Tokoyami takes the dub?" Keigo offers as he shifts in his seat. He donned a yellow headband designed to resemble a chick that swept the blond tufts away from his concentrated face, the orange beak protruding from the soft fabric only making his paired expression more comical.

You slipped on a similar hair piece, only instead of a chick, yours was that of a purple kitten with small ears jutting out from the top.

With a moist sheet mask being extended in your direction, you readily accepted the skin care he offered to apply on your face. "Hell no, that's who I was gonna bet on." You reply, doing your best not to obstruct the way his fingers gently smooth over any visible wrinkles.

"Womp womp, you have to pick someone else now."

"Fuck off, fine." You grumble and once he completes the application of the mask on your face, your head moves to the screen displaying the remaining competitors. Gliding your irises across the faces of your many choices, your first thought is to select the first that catches your attention.

"Hitoshi Shinso," You declare and finalize your statement with a nod of your head. Placed into your hold was another mask doused in nourishing serum causing the refreshingly cool slime-like substance to coat the tips of your fingers. "Give me your face." You order and hold your hands out towards your companion.

Keigo obliges and leans into you with his eyes closed as his brows express his confusion. "What? Why that guy? He hasn't really done much to stand out or at the very least enough to gain your trust in his victory."

"Have you learnt nothing, child? Always root for the underdogs." You mentor the grown man as the pads of your fingers glide over the sheet to secure it onto his skin. Though, after you take a second to clear your throat, you hesitantly add, "...Also I like his purple hair. I think it's cool."

The two opponents set to fight the first match of the day have yet to show off their quirks or even utilize them in any capacity that would aid them in garnering attention. So, in that aspect, it'd be safe to assume that they could both be considered the 'underdogs' of the bunch; though the reason you had chosen the boy that you did was because the purple hair managed to grasp your attention with a tighter grip than the green did.

"First of all, no way you're going bashful over a guy who looks like he hasn't slept since he left the womb, and second, I never received the memo that I'm suddenly the apprentice." He mutters as he slumps back onto the back of the couch once you complete the application. "Also, since when have we been basing skillset off of hair? If that were the truth, I'd have better hair than you." He adds with the cross of his arms.

"I do have great hair, don't I?" You bask in the compliment before you realize the backhand he dealt it with, forcing you to use your actual back hand across his chest. Folding in on himself, he feigns a critical hit as if your blow held twice the power it actually had. "Asshole. Pay attention, it's starting." You chide, because you know you'd never hurt him. At least, not intentionally.

"Are you ready?! I know you are with all that's happened, but it's now come to this. A serious battle!" Mic almost spasms in his seat from the excitement buzzing around the stadium.

Your lips purse in thought, "If we're being realistic, I actually don't have a single clue as to who'll win this round. We don't know either of their quirks so it'll have to come down to what they pull out of their asses."

"That or whoever moves first."

"Of course you'd say that. Either way, I have a feeling this'll be a short match. Let's just hope it's interesting." You further your predictions as the screen displays the pair of boys in topic.

"Why does he look like he's about to shit his pants?" Keigo asks, scrutinizing the boy as if he had offended him personally.

"Maybe he is." You add with a shrug.

It was only when you inspected his face, as well as the front profile picture allowed you to at least, that you noticed something.

You don't know what it is about the green haired teen, perhaps the way his smile wobbled in the corners or the fact that his bottom lip never ceased to be nibbled on, but every time you glance at him, be it his picture or on the live broadcast, there was something in the back of your mind crawling its way to the forefront, fighting for its place to be heeded. It told you that you needed to know more — or furthermore, it solidified that there was more to be learned about.

But, don't get it twisted.

It wasn't a feeling that brought you intrigue or that conspired any interest, you didn't even want to find out just what it was that your subconscious whispered about. It triggered your flight or fight, it spoke of danger and treading in discretion.

It irked you.

"I've changed my mind. My money's on Midoriya."

"What?!" Keigo staggers at the abrupt switch of your tune, "The guy who desperately needs a toilet? Why?" He asks as his golden eyes narrow in suspicion.

"I uh, don't know." You replied, to which this earned you a dull stare from him. "I'm serious! I've just got a gut feeling."

"Okay..." He drew out the word, before a yawn purloined his attention and he finally slid his misty eyes away from your face. "Well, your womanly intuition is rarely ever wrong, so I'll take your word for it."

You doubted the fact that you were a woman had played any role in his observation, you were simply built different when it came to the guessing game — or, that's what you had thought.

After Midoriya's victory in the first round only worked to prove your decision correct, your thoughts on the extensively intricate boy solidified themselves into your mind. Like tightly woven floss creating knots in every one of your gyrus and sulcus.

"I didn't even notice that guy was in general studies." Keigo mentions. "How'd he make it this far when competing against kids who spend their days training?"

"It has to be his quirk, a powerful one at that. There's no way he worked this hard to earn a spot in the finals only to remain in general studies. This means he actually aims to be a hero, so that begs the question: why the hell isn't he in the hero course?"

Cupping his chin with his palm, Keigo leans his elbows onto his knees as he squints at the television screen. "His quirk doesn't seem very combat oriented." He surmises.

Nodding your head and mimicking his pose, you continue, "And given the events of the sports festival, I think it's safe to say that UA doesn't have their priorities quite straight if they let this diamond in the rough slip through their cracks."

"Ha!" Keigo cackles and slaps his knee, "It also means your womanly intuition was right, once again!"

"Does this mean you owe me ten bucks?" You tease slyly.

"Tut tut, slow your roll Speedy Gonzales. Speed is my thing." He wiggles a finger in your face, "The festival isn't over yet, I placed my bet on the finals."

"These are the finals."

"Well, the final finals."

In the midst of your eye roll, you notice a riveting detail you hadn't quite heeded before. "Wait a second... his fingers... they're broken." You utter in bewilderment.

The solemn faced boy stood before the opponent he had quickly defeated in the first round of the pivotal arc of the tournament, clutching his left hand as blood stained the skin beneath his nose.

You hummed in thought, "The purple haired guy must have had some type of hypnotizing quirk, right? So, finger destroyer kid must have destroyed his fingers which in turn must have destroyed some kind of connection that allowed the quirk to function. Like if you unplug your desktop from its PC."

Keigo's lips purse in thought as he looks at the ceiling, "That adds up, maybe pain breaks that connection. I wonder how it's formed in the first place, perhaps eye contact?"

You huff airily in amusement, "That would be too OP, I'd be glad he seems to be on the hero route."

"There's no such thing as too OP."

"There is when we live in a superhuman society. Especially so when you're in the work field that exercises what makes us super everyday."

"Okay, fine. You win."

The next match was between a dual toned Todoroki and Sero with a choppy haircut. This duel consisted of Sero wielding a strong start, but ultimately resulted in Todoroki brutally immobilizing the latter with an unnecessary amount of ice. Leaving you to wonder why the victor has yet to flaunt his flames if he truly had the ability to wield them.

Electricity and thorned vines engaged in a brisk battle, the last mentioned emerging victorious by thwarting an all or nothing attack. Following the rapid fight was a speedy hero and a clever support course student using her opponent to her advantage in an attempt to attract attention to her creations, providing you with a very comical display. And though you felt pity for the boy, the details on her interesting inventions occupied your attention far more.

Underwear was on display by the time the match between Mina Ashido and Yuga Aoyama had concluded, resulting in hysterical laughter erupting from the man beside you clutching his stomach.

"Mina Ash-ido." You drawl out the pinkette's name, the sound feeling foreign on your tongue. "She's got a nice quirk, it's lethal. Not to mention, did you see those moves she pulled?"

"Yup, she has great control of her body." Keigo comments as he sheds the mask on his face, rubbing the remaining residue into his skin gently. "Her quirk is impressive, but she didn't rely on it heavily, which can be a common rookie mistake." He adds onto your assessment.

"Wow, you sound professional for once-" You begun to compliment the man, before his hand gets shoved on your mouth.

"Shh! It's Tokoyami, this is who my bet is on. Y/N, shut up." He oh so eloquently exclaims.

"You do know that we're not actually betting, right? I'm not putting any of my money on kids I don't know-"

His palm moves to drape itself on your entire face, effectively halting your arguments.

"From the hero course, it's Fumikage Tokoyami! Versus, all purpose creation! She was admitted through recommendations, so her abilities are UA certified. From the hero course, it's Momo Yaoyaorozu!"

"Creating to your mind's extent? That's gonna be hard to beat." Keigo admits, finally ridding you of the burden of his large hand due to your adamant pawing at his skin.

You sputter at the relief and gingerly peel away at your mask as well, chucking it into the bin beside you. "Oh? Scared she's gonna be the demise of your precious hatchling?" You coo teasingly.

The blond scoffs, "Puh-lease, there is no match for a dark entity that inhabits your own body."

"Maybe so."

And he was right. Four hits was all it took for that entity to simply shove her out of bounds. With no time left to conjure up a path to her victory, all the teenager could have done was create a shield to protect her body, which was ultimately all for naught. Dejectedly, she accepted her defeat and slumped her way off of the concrete battle field, brows furrowed and arms clutched to her chest in shame.

"Ouch. That was hard to watch." You murmured to yourself. "I was actually rooting for her at one point."

Sensing that the next match would not end anytime soon, considering it consisted of metal and rock meeting in repeated punches and jabs, you take your tub of Vaseline from the coffee table and delicately apply the creamy substance onto your lips. Once finished, you hand the container over to Keigo and he mimics the steps you have just taken. After that was your eyelash and eyebrow serum that you expertly work into the fine hairs with much care.

Special attention to vanity came as second nature to you, it was hauled along with quirk and fitness training. The commission values public appearance and perception, fake smiles and flawless skin were almost always juxtaposed with the combat oriented skills that carved the tight muscles under your clothes; they were drilled into your youth.

It allowed for a gorgeous mask to the monsters they create. So yes, a requirement to slip into their mold as the ideal protégé is to be what society deems as attractive. Applying care to your appearance was as important as learning how to wield a blade.

Luckily, both came easy to both you and the man beside you.

"Okay, I'm gonna be honest. I can't tell if this is funny or boring." He says, "They just keep throwing punches and have the same reaction to each one."

"Well, who do you think is gonna win?"

"I don't know, it could be a tie but, what are the chances of that happening?" He ponders your question.

"One is from class A and the other is from class B so either way they're both from the hero course, but I'd say it's still a fifty-fifty chance."

His lips purse in thought, "Mmm, I don't know about that." Keigo says, which causes one of your brows to contort in interest.

"What do you mean?" You question.

"Well, the silver guy is metal, right? I'm not sure exactly what type of metal, but the fact still stands. Metal can be pretty sensitive if not taken care of properly."

As if a lightbulb was suddenly lit beneath your skin, your eyes light up in comprehension, causing you to think of possibilities you hadn't thought of before. "Then, I wonder if corrosion affects him as well. Salt water could be his biggest enemy. And what of the guy with the hardened skin? Is durability his only weakness or does his quirk bring along similar disadvantages?" You reflect.

"And both contestants are down! It's a draw! In this case, after they recover, they will be subjected to a simple contest in order to determine the true winner, like arm wrestling!" Midnight announces with her hand slicing the air.

"Never mind." Keigo deadpans.

"Well, at least we can be sure that the next won't end in a draw. There's no way zero gravity and explosion can knock each other out at the same time." You suggest.

"Yeowch, that's a face only a mother could love! It's Katsuki Bakugo versus, and she's the one I'm personally rooting for, Ochaco Uraraka! Eighth match, start!"

"Explosions and zero gravity, okay this could be interesting." Keigo determines. "And she seems to be making the first move."

"But, he still hasn't moved an inch. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. And for who..." You say.

Directly following your words, Bakugo emits a powerful blast from his palm, which projects Uraraka back to where she had originally started. Blast after blast, no matter what clever trick the pink cheeked girl plays on the scowling boy, she is persistently hit and takes the explosions with stride.

"I can barely see shit." Keigo says, squinting as if that would aid in his pursuit of better vision on the other side of the screen. Because of the continuous explosions, the smoke doesn't dissipate.

"I wonder if they can see each other, and if they can't, then who is that giving the disadvantage to?" You ask.

The fight continues and the view doesn't improve, forcing the both of you to begin to envy the people present at the event, or rather their advantage on point of view.

All of a sudden, a foreign voice was heard yelling from the stands, "Hey! How can you claim that you want to be a hero but then subject that poor girl to this torture?! If there's such a huge difference in your abilities, then hurry up and send her out of bounds! Stop being a mean bully!"

Resounding murmurs and yells of disapproval ignite in volume, telling with how the crowd agrees with the rando.

"What are they booing for?" Keigo groans, hating the prospect of not knowing what the hell was going on.

"I don't know, but I don't think she's passed out or else they'd have announced a winner... so why are they so quick to announce her defeat?" You murmur, not liking how he demeaningly he phrased the words 'poor girl'.

"And why is he whining like a toddler?" Keigo unnecessarily adds.

A deeper voice, noticeably not Present Mic's, spoke soon after, "Was that a Pro speaking just now? How many years have you been a Pro? Let me tell you something, if you're saying that with a straight face, there was no point in paying your entrance fee, pack up and go home. I'd suggest looking into a career change." The voice finished, effectively halting the ruckus that the stranger had caused.

"Oop, I know he's embarrassed."

"Bakugo is being relentless because he's acknowledged the strength of his opponent who has made it this far. It's because he's aiming to do everything he can to win that he can't go easy on her or let his guard down. In other words, your complaints are pointless."

The smoke begins to disperse and you can now see both opponents standing only a few feet away from each other. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, large boulders begin to cascade from high up in the sky. The rocks fall at a violent velocity, making a headway towards the concrete floor.

With a gasp, Keigo announces astonishingly, "It's like a meteor shower in real life!"

"You've never even seen a meteor shower in real life, Kei." You tease.

Just as it seemed as if Uraraka had a chance at catching the blond off of his guard, he aims and fires a massive explosion towards the sky, knocking away every single object heading his way and sending the creator of the meteor shower back to where she had started. And though she managed to lift herself in preparation for a counterattack, the impact must have harmed her more than the others had and she collapses onto the ground, using the last bit of energy she could muster to attempt to crawl before falling unconscious.

She's done.

"I'm still mad that I couldn't see shit for the majority of that one. They should have had better camera angles, doesn't UA have a high budget? It's practically non-existent." Keigo shakes his head in disappointment.

In the end, Bakugo emerged victorious and so the first round of eliminations concludes.

"You'll live." You tell him impassively. "Anyway, who do you think'll win this tie breaker? I'm thinking the red head."

"Mm," He hums as he seems to genuinely ponder the thought for a second longer, "I think the same."

"The winner is Kirishima! He advances onto the second round due to Tetsutetsu's defeat from metal fatigue!" Present Mic announces, proving Keigo's earlier point correct which he will surely be a menace about.

"Told your ass there had to be a downside to the metal." He proves your thought process correct.

"I literally agreed with you."

"The first match of the second round is an exciting one! Unlike the others..." The latter portion is muttered lowly, "The man who won a huge victory in the first round, quite literally leaving the audience frozen, from the hero course, Shoto Todoroki!"

"Man?" Your head cocks in curiosity, "I thought they were around my age?" You mention.

"Well yeah, but he's not gonna call him a boy." Keigo answers.

"Well, why not?"

"Well, because it would be insulting."

"Well, why is it insulting if it's the truth?"

"Well, because of our fragile masculinity."

"Bingo! I'm glad you're self aware, at least."

"On the other hand, this guy barely made it past the second round! Let's see what he'll pull out of his inventory this time, from the hero course, Izuku Midoriya!"

"Okay, for real this time," Keigo assures, "What do you think of this match?"

"Well, we haven't seen anything quirk related from Midoriya, ignoring his broken fingers from his last match since we have zero idea how that occurred, and from what we could tell, Todoroki is a very well rounded student. Whether this is another short match will depend entirely on what Midoriya demonstrates." You judge.

"Ding ding ding! Correct again, my pupil. It also depends on their limits as well, whether they're physical or quirk related, they've both got them. Since we haven't figured out finger breaker's quirk, I'd say his lean on the physical side. I'm just wondering what're Zuko's." He builds on.

Humming to yourself, you use the opportunity to voice a question that has been teetering the edge of your mind. "I've been wondering, did Todoroki inherit Endeavor's quirk at all? All I've seen is ice, which I'm assuming is from his mother." You ask, before a sudden chortle escapes your lips involuntarily, "Which is kind of ironic. What are the chances of fire Mario and Elsa falling in love?"

He ponders your question for a second, before surrendering and rendering himself as useful as ever, "Now that you mention it, I don't know."

"Start!"

Present Mic's highly pitched screech acted as the push to start for both boys, Todoroki being the first to move and conjure up splinters of his icicles heading directly towards his opponent, giving the illusion that a hasty match is in the cards for the dual toned boy. Seconds away from being frozen where he stood, Midoriya avoided the attack by shattering the ice and hurling it back to its creator. Gusts of winter air fill the stadium, hugging person to person, effectively tussling hair and drying eyes.

"He mirrored his attack?" You utter questioningly.

"His finger," Keigo notices, "It's broken again."

"So, he negated it... with just a flick of his finger?" You ask dubiously, your eyes squinted in apprehension.

"Finger blaster." Keigo whispers in suspense.

Your head shakes with confusion, "That means, it's his quirk that hurts him. The same thing happened earlier, which means he has no control over whether it hurts him or not. Can he not manage the power output? If not, then that was an all or nothing attack, which means-"

"It's all he's got." Keigo finishes your sentence.

Astonished and baffled all at once, you breathily broach, "It's almost as if he's a toddler with a newly developed quirk..."

"Time traveler?" Keigo offers.

"Honestly, that's more believable than developing a quirk in your teens."

Hit after hit, the same attack and defense commences, and each time the pair of boys end up a closer proximity than before. Broken fingers being pushed to their limits, knuckles crunching with force, and alizarin crimson ejecting in streams. Little by little, the young aspiring hero protégé Todoroki exhausts himself, that fact not going unnoticed by you.

Sinking into the couch, you scrutinize the screen before you, "Huh, he's slower, almost sluggish in his movements. I'm guessing Midoriya isn't the only one giving all or nothing."

"Those powerful attacks must be taking their toll on his body."

You hum in agreement, "Which is to be expected. After all, having enhanced tolerance for low temperatures doesn't mean that you're completely immune to their effects."

Whether because of the mention of glacial temperatures or the AC directly above your seats, Keigo's velvet wings subconsciously huddle closer to his body, offering their unwavering warmth. "Finger blaster kid might be able to predict his attacks now."

Prodigious flames emit from the taller boy, exuding light that almost blinds you. "He's using his fire." You whisper, almost as if afraid one exhale would make it all disappear.

"Well, there's our answer, I guess. I just wonder why he didn't use it before." Keigo says just as mesmerized.

"Perhaps he felt he didn't need to."

Fire and ice against what seemed to be powerful wind currents was set to destroy both opponents, though luckily, UA bore some safety precautions. Pro hero Cementoss held no hesitation when creating his signature wall of cement in an effort to nullify the powerful explosion the teens would surely create with the combination of their quirks.

Unfortunately, not even the wall of cement was enough to halt the attacks, because though it minimized the effects, the Pro Hero did not succeed in neutralizing them.

"Jeez, I can't see a thing! Hey, who won the match?!" Present Mic asks Midnight who was still recovering from the explosion.

Green unveils itself from within a layer of thick billowing steam that envelopes the stadium, and there stands Midoriya, bruised and battered, on wavering legs that fail to uphold his weight before long.

"Midoriya is out of bounds!" She exclaims, "Todoroki advances to the third round!" Her palm slices through the air once again, finalizing the results.

Picking your jaw up off the ground for the umpteenth time, you sit taken aback at the outcome of the stress inducing match.

The next couple of matches were a blur, with some spent consoling the man beside you when his favorites would bear the short end of the stick. Todoroki vs. Bakugo was the grand finale, and while it had looked to be in the dual toned boy's favor at one point, it came as a surprise to many when he willingly allowed himself to act as Bakugo's Howitzer practice dummy. The blond emerges victorious, much to his dismay, as the first place winner of this year's annual sports festival.

His bite was indeed as strong as his bark, and what a loud bark that was. The Pro's resulted to restraining his body to a thick pillar of cement, with his mouth muzzled by a decently sized slab of metal.

"Yikes, that is not pretty. I wonder how hard it was to even get him in those things." You winced.

"He looks like he has rabies." Keigo tilts his head in inspection. "And a face only a mother could love..."

"Anyway, is it just me or are these first years very different from the usual. Like, weird kind of built different." You question.

Crossing his arms and facing you entirely, he ponders your question for a moment, "Do you think it has to do with the quirk singularity theory?" He offers.

Mimicking his motions, you shake your head, "I don't know. Either that, or there's something in their food."

Keigo chuckles at the thought, "Har Har, that's funny, but speaking of food~"

Rolling your eyes, you dramatically belly flop yourself into his lap and groan tragically at the mention of a topic very sensitive to yourself. "Kei, I will literally die if I have to eat protein shakes and avocado for lunch again." You whine, and you turn yourself to face him with the best puppy dog eyes you could conjure. "I'm craving ramen, real ramen, can't we sneak some of that for once?"

Unfortunately due to your tedious meal preps, you're only allowed to indulge in a small portion of your chow desires, and strictly during dinner time. Though, since being allowed to move in with the man before you, you've had a fair amount of leeway. 'What the commission doesn't know, won't hurt them.' is what Keigo always says.

"Do you want take out?"

"To be honest, homemade ramen is perfectly fine. As long as I can choose the toppings myself. We have some, right?"

"I think we should, it's probably old though, are you sure ramen is fine? That's kind of basic, no? I can order anything you want."

As you mull your response over in your mind, your lips pursing in thought, Kitty's soft paws came padding down the stairs. It seems she has awoken from her nap and decided it wouldn't be too much of a hassle to join you both once again. Taking her rightful spot on your lap, you bury your fingertips into her fur as she shifts herself to fit her own comfort.

You hum softly, "Yeah, ramen sounds perfect."

And you meant it, the thought of such a mundane activity with both Keigo and Kitty, still in your matching sleepwear, not worrying about whether your actions were at the approval of the higher ups, sounds like your personal heaven. It was as if you were but a mere civilian who never bore the burden of reoccurring nightmares and visits from demons of slumber.

Keigo knew that as well, which was why he so readily agreed to your request. He understood, just like he always had.

Going about your day and savoring the sweet taste of rare normalcy caused all thoughts of class 1A and the sports festival to appear as nothing more than dark shadows in the back of your mind. Blissfully ignorant as you were about the leaden presence hovering above what seemed to be such a bleak future, and the significant impact your soul would have to brace for.

What is it that you would find, and what was it that you would have to sacrifice to have a future at all?

There wasn’t much happening this chapter, but the next should move the story along much more.

- arlo <3

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