#i build displays for other people too though I charge for that

[browngonzo888]

I have a pretty decent job

I can go to one of the two restaurants nearby for lunch, I can have tea or soda or ice cream if I’m out of energy, every contract worker gets paid regardless of how many people show up. It’s $50 a day, not much but there’s a load of perks like keeping the larger portion of sales should one of my woodcrafts sell, and I get to be by myself most of the time. Of course happy face makes happy place, I must be on happiest behavior when someone visits me.

Sometimes I still think about the coworker I got rid of.

She was an older woman who was happy to indulge in the same things I did. But she was a toxic person. I didn’t know until after I added her onto my work roster. I share my shop with other people so I don’t have to work every day. Anyway, this lady was kinda nuts apparently. She commissioned the lady next door to make saddle bags but they weren’t to her specifications. She demanded to keep them and not pay for them. Then she namecalled the leather worker on fb. She was an antivaxxer, calling everyone else weak-blooded (her daughter made her take the vaccine anyway, so I wonder if she was plain lying and trying to pretend she didn’t take the vaccine) oh and she kept missing days of work. Just not pleasant to everyone else but liked working with me.

After finding out she made the workplace anxiety inducing for my fellow coworkers, I asked my boss to help get this woman’s crap out of my shop. She was booted. I was stiff but formal with her, saying it wasn’t a good fit and she lived too far away from work.

I still feel kinda bad for taking away a really peaceful job from her. She was a senior and probably would have never found a more decent one. Every time I drink a $1 Dr Pepper or close shop for a peaceful lunch, I remember how fleeting it is to lose a good gig.

[youngwonhui]

✦ live on my knees, make you see | ch. 3

*•. member: choi seungcheol x afab reader

*•. genre: angst, strangers to lovers; kinda, corporate and family drama, life and misunderstanding happened in general; eventual smut

*•. wc: 10,986

*•. warnings: MDNI, smut late in the chapter

*•. cross posted in AO3

*•. masterlist

tag list: @lol6sposts

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3

It was lunch as you were making your way through the office building’s backyards when a figure stops you midsteps. Just when you thought things were smooth sailing on your job, there’s always another thing—or in this case person who just there to make everything feels like hell.

“Do you think you could ruin my reputation and then live happily ever after?”

“If you have some shred of reputation you certainly wouldn’t be doing this would you?” You steadied your stance, the figure who turns out to be your old boss makes their way to approach you.

“I know a type just like you. Acting all justified, high and mighty, like you’re the boss of this place. But i ruin people just like you with a flick of my hand you know that!” Hands on his hips as his voice raises abruptly along with his emotion.

It’s getting really hard for you to be the bigger person.

“Then your reputation certainly spoke too low of you. As you turns out to be a bigger bitch than i know.”

“I have friends in higher ups you know! Do you think i’ll be doing this thing alone? You’re a dead meat, i’ll make sure you’re never be working again in this industry.”

At times like this, you secretly thank yourself for having a workplace experience as diverse as you have. Empty emotional threat now bounce off of your skin like this. What’s hard is not to react to this kind of idiocy. Blurting out words like there are no consequences. Trying to suppress a smile, your eyes remain to the huffing and puffing figure of your ex-boss in front of you.

Seeing the lack of reaction from you, his anger grew and begin to walk closer to you. Hands raised and you were ready to cover yourself when a loud bang suddenly heard from above.

“You better think twice before doing what you’re thinking of doing.”

You recognize those voice. Seuncheol’s word booming deep and aloof but still carrying those authority that commands the room. Or in this case, the backyards. Strangely the action somewhat amaze you. Painting Seungcheol in a whole new light. You scold yourself for thinking such a thing at time as dire as now.

Just like most other time in your smoke break, Seungcheol are perched on his window. Facing down like some sort of modern time rapunzel. You almost chuckle if not for the rigid expression displayed on Seungcheol’s face. Gone was the relaxed curved of his brow as well as the ever-so-present pout on his lips. Only unfamiliar lines on top of the face who brought you comfort.

“Who the fuck you think you are?!” Your ex-boss yelled to Seungcheol. His hand pointing angrily as a new wave of anger brew over Seungcheol’s words.

“It doesn’t matter who i am, now take a step back and away to wherever gutter you came from before i send out all the recording of you committing your crime to the authority. Heck i could even charge you for harassment.” Seungcheol muttered his last sentences, a smirk playing on his lips. Although there’s nothing playful in said smirk. His statement though, sets the same curiosity from you as well as the angry man by your side.

“What fucking recording are you talking about?”

“The backyards as well as the backstreet alley are fully equipped with cctv,” Seungcheol jerked his head to make a point. You automatically looks around and surely, true to Seungcheol’s word there are several cameras you could make out just with one quick glance. “So before you tries to embarrass yourself even more, just step back and be gone.”

“Y-you don’t have the right!! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!!”

“I own this fucking building, i can do whatever the fuck i want.”

This is taking too much of your time and your lunch break ended ten minutes ago.

“Please do yourself a favour and don’t start any ruckus. Not here and not certainly at the office.” You tries to suppress a smile as you passed the frozen figure of your ex-boss.

Ducking your head slightly, you made your way back inside. A sigh of relief when you couldn’t hear any footsteps following you.

You have many things to talk with Seungcheol.

\\

Before you knock for the second time, Seungcheol already opened his door. The smile displayed on his face are the polar opposite he’s shown you earlier today.

You only shot him a look before stepping inside his apartment confidently, acknowledging the little steps that follows you. Of course Kkuma is on your side now. Arriving at his sofa, you sat with a huff before crossing your arm. Wasting no time, Seungcheol filled the space beside you. Kkuma already scooped in his arms.

“Now, are you up for pizza or just some snack? My friend gifted me a lego set please help…” Seungcheol’s words trailed down as he notices your state of silence. Your gaze still set to the coffee table to avoid his gaze. “Are you okay, are you hurt?”

“Are there any other thing you forgetting to talk to me? Other than the fact that you own this place?”

“What? My house?” Seungcheol’s smile grew bigger, the dimple almost lure you out of your will to confront him.

“You’re being funny right?” You almost balked. “You owned this whole building and just casually mentioned it when my ex-boss are confronting me? Which, that i can handle on my own by the way.” Your slight dig at his action didn’t go unnoticed by Seungcheol.

“I trusted that you can handle it gracefully, it’s just that i’ve seen enough of that man using the place as a designated space to bully people.” Seungcheol’s reasoning makes sense to you. Your boss has been in the company for much longer time than you. Who knows what nasty deeds he’s done to an innocent employee far from the office scrutiny and to Seungcheol’s very own ‘backyards’. “Besides, you should’ve decked them right from the start. We could maybe file for self-defense as we send in the footage as evidence.”

“You’re joking right?”

“Maybe. I like making you laugh.” You rolled your eyes at his words, the smirk on his face only grew bigger.

“You’re impossible.”

“You’re dating this impossible.” Now it’s your turn to smirk at Seungcheol’s words. A playful tug on your lips that piqued Seungcheol’s interest.

Dramatically turning to your face him, Seungcheol only laughs at your antic. Kkuma now has escaped her father’s grip and fleeing somewhere. Little pats of footsteps echoing the room.

“Are we dating?” In turns, Seungcheol almost balked at your question. His lips stuttered to make any answer and failed cutely. “I don’t recall you asking me of such question.”

Scoffing out a laugh, Seungcheol remained by his disposition as your smirk are threatening to blow into an all out laugh.

“Do you not want to be? Dating me?” Seungcheol’s words are accompanied by his hand slowly snaking around your waist. He knows firsthand that you’re immune to a surprise tickle attack. So you secretly anticipate where he’s going for his next move.

“I don’t think that’s the proper question?” Your further teasing only sends Seungcheol’s annoyance higher. A small noises of disapproval as he rolls his eyes. Half-defeated as he lay back to the sofa while his hand still holding tight to your side.

On a stretched silence, you bit your lower lip instinctively when you notice how close you have ended up by Seungcheol's side. Your eyes are quick to notice the sliver of smirk on Seuncgheol’s lips. But it was beaten by how quick he steers your body on top of him and positioning you to straddle him. Your own hands flew to grab a hold of his shoulder. It almost knock the breath out of you, but the smile that rewarded to you are almost impossible to reject.

“Okay Y/n, here’s the question. Would you like to go out with me? Officially.” Seungcheol’s voice lured you closer. With each and every word, you found yourself lessening the space between the two of you. Until your lips hovering barely a centimetre before his.

“On one condition. Never hide anything from me, ever again.”

Your whispered words slowly tapered to silence. Capturing Seungcheol’s lips with a replied sigh. There’s a new and certain affinity to cup his cheek for you. Feeling the muscles twitch and spasm as he kiss you back with the same ferocity. There’s an additional glee when your thumb meets his dimple. Growing deeper with his smile.

Familiarizing yourself with the new side of Seungcheol, the one that grip you so gently while leaving trails of burning with his every touch.

Pulling away from Seungcheol’s kiss was the hardest. You blinked to the sight of half-lidded Seungcheol. Ultimately in the same state of you, it brought a sense of pride in your chest. Your delicate touch traces one dimple, down to his chin, and to his other dimple. It felt like an enough point to make. Despite your enjoyment of such intimate times, you meant your every words for Seungcheol to never keep another secret from you.

It goes unnoticed. The weight of Seungcheol’s every nod.

\\

“Y/n, are you sure that you’re safe?”

Chan’s question came days later, while eating lunch together with your team at the new ramen place that just opened up nearby.

“Why should i not be?”

“Come on, Y/n we all heard of ‘you-know-who’ came to the office a few days ago.” Jisun added.

“And we all know he was looking for you.” Soyeon finished.

“One, i am capable of protecting myself. Two, none of us are going to be in any harm. Three, if anything we got a new evidence to incriminate him further.” You give a pointed look to each of the three. Sending the subtle order to bear no worries and just kept with the lunch.

The three shared a look before continuing so. It was not long until Chan exclaiming his delight of the tasty noodles with that you best can describe as aggressive frown.

“Just out of curiosity,” Jisun questions, chopsticks struggling to reach for a piece of the tempura. Soyeon easily grabs it and putting it in Jisun’s dish. “How do you even manage to get more evidence to incriminate ‘you-know-who’.”

“Let’s just say, the building’s security are cooperating well to maintain peace and safety.” Clearly you weren’t joking. But the thought of Seungcheol that day brought a rush in your vein and a giddy feeling in your smile. So you wouldn’t blame your coworker of thinking that you’re just being silly.

Fisnishing with the lunch, you decided to scrap your smoking break when you see the time. Heading up to the office together, the three friends are in the middle of very deep conversation regarding a hypothetical roommate of a rat. Simply amazed, you haven’t paid attention to your surrounding. Completely incognizant of the figure in a baggy t-shirt and a big fluffy bucket hat. Loitering around the front of your office.

But you were aware enough of Chan who suddenly stopped midway of his convincing argument.

“I see, is this how the building’s security keeping the peace and safety?” Chan’s words eventually makes you realize of Seungcheol’s appearance.

“Oh, Seungcheol?” Wordlessly, Seungcheol made his way to you. A smile and a cup of coffee in his hand. “Wait, Chan, you know him?”

“Y/n, we work here longer than you do. We at least know who own this building.” Soyeon’s answer didn’t surprise you. If Chan knows, consider that Jisun and Soyeon know as well.

“We also knows who kept making their way upstair-” Jisun’s teasing words are cut short as Seungcheol is barely two meters away. Rendering you in loss of words as the other two quickly tries to dismiss their friend’s unfinished words and hurriedly leaves you with Seungcheol.

Placing the coffee in your hand, Seungcheol plant a quick kiss which you reply with a playful slap to his chest. Seungcheol only mouthing ‘what’ with a shit eating grin, while you’re craning your head to scope anyone who you might know that could be seeing you.

“You weren’t smoking downstairs after lunch, so i decided to come here. Just in case.” A sense of accomplishment colouring Seungcheol’s words.

“Now, what if i hadn’t walk out here?”

“I would just call you.”

“What if i’m in a meeting?”

“I could drop this at the receptionist. They look kind enough to bring this to you. As well as some lengthy message.”

“What if i wasn’t even at the office?”

“Then, i got a coffee for me. You can’t make me lose Y/n. And yes, i have the answer for everything.” Seungcheol slips his hingers to your vacant hand. Still smiling like he won a prize in a candy shop.

“Fine then Mr-Have-The-Answer-For-Everything. Are there anything you want from me? Because It’s way past the lunch break.”

You can see how Seungcheol’s lips grow gradually tighter. As if he’s preparing himself to do, or to say something you might not accept. At the same time you also prepares yourself. The silence and the heat from his touch lingers among the ticking seconds.

“It’s Hansol. He asked me to tell you that he wants to meet you.”

Seungcheol kept his eyes to you. Unwavering gaze like he’s keeping you within his reach just in case you crumble like that night you met Hansol. In return, you took a deep breath and squeeze Seungcehol’s hold for support. You can feel his trust, in every actions he’s shown you. It makes you feel grateful to have met him through these circumstances. It builds your own trust to him as well.

“Thank you for relaying the message. Can i give you the answer tonight?” A smile instantly lit up in Seungcheol’s face at your answer/question.

“You could take all the time you need.” Seungcheol pulld you into a hug. In which you melted into it like a warm blanket at a cold night. “You know where i am, and i’m always one call away.”

As he pulls away, you smiles before kissing him. Weights hanging in your every steps as you make your way back to the office. Seungcheol holding tight to your fingers isn’t helping much. Yet eventually you left him with a ghost of smile. And a question lingering in your mind.

\\

“You’ll tell me if i make a mistake right?” Your voice are barely a whisper, yet Seungcheol can hear it from across his living room.

“I will. Even though i doubt that you would. And so does Hansol.” Seungcehol assures you. “He’s a good kid.”

“Really? I wouldn’t know.”

The night after Seungcheol told you that Hansol was asking to meet, your answer surprised him. But not long, as you both are finishing each other’s plate of dinner Seungcheol admitted to you that he believed that you choose the good thing. That one meeting would not hurt anything that has happened between you two.

On the next weekend, Seungcheol kindly lend his apartment for Hansol to meet you as he took Kkuma for a walk and then dropping her off to his brother’s place.

Now, after packing treats and a few hairpins for Kkuma, Seungcheol has spend minutes trying to calm your nerves. Even offering to stay, but you kindly refused. Your conscience felt heavy, because Seungcheol has put himself involuntarily as a mediator. Even willing to vacate his own house. You didn’t want to burden him more deeper in your own ‘familial’ matter.

After Seungcheol eventually left— with a lingering hug and whispers of sweet whatnots, you were left with your own thought. Sitting idly in Seungcheol’s spacious living room as you wait for time to rolls by to when had Hansol agreed to came by. Sighing, you tried to calm your nerves as you massaged your own palms.

At times like this, you appreciated having someone by your side. At times, it used to be your mom. But now, the only person passed through your mind is Seungcheol.

In times as fast as you couldn’t comprehend, Seungcheol has made a place in your life that you’ve never thought was devastatingly vacant. How the emptiness never bother you too much, but now, being alone in the same space you used to spend together, the feeling strangely adding to the nerves of meeting Hansol.

Before you know it, a sudden wave of sleepiness hits you and for a moment you fell asleep on the sofa until the familiar bell rang and you jolted awake.

With hurried steps, you almost trip over the rug on your way over. Catching your breath, you looked through the peep hole to see Hansol. If you looked longer, you might notice that Hansol looked almost the same as you. Catching up on the breath he spend to calm down the frazzled nerves.

You opened the door resolutely. Although you cannot help to keep your eyes away to anywhere but Hansol. It helps you that you’re familiar enough with Seungcheol’s place to navigate ways as you make a beeline to the kitchen. Hansol following with a silent steps behind you.

The place that you’re used to spend countless nights in felt a little surreal. Especially now, vacant of Seungcheol and occupied with Hansol instead. But you continued, preparing tea in silence.

You opted for green tea. Along with the stretch of continuous silence. Even after you placed a cup in front of Hansol.

The stretch felt like hours. You’re almost halfway down your cup of scalding hot tea. Feeling the calming warmth already dissipating as Hansol kept with his silence. At first you’re comfortable with letting Hansol talk on his terms, but you feel like he’s waiting for something. As if he’s trying to find his words.

You almost surprise yourself with how calm you’ve become. The initial anxiety has lessen, along with the green tea. While you had noticed how Hansol hasn’t even touched his tea. His hands fidgets with every little surface he found but the teacup.

“That night,” you paused as Hansol looked up from the much interesting pattern of Seungcheol’s table top. “I- i have to admit that never in my imagination that i would see you. Seeing that you know who i am, you roughly knew the history how we came to be. And honestly i have never expected anything, not even you knowing my existence. So, the way you’ve been acting every time we met are just- just beyond my thoughts. Although i didn’t blame you for it.” You whispered that last part, and met with another silence. At this point, you truly didn’t know why Hansol has asked to meet you, “All i’m saying is we lived years without being in each other way. I believe we can do better. I already apologize for getting in your way.”

“My way,” Hansol’s voice are a mere whispers. How it sounds bitter and hollow doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “I was in middle school, i remember that it was the day of Sofia graduating elementary school. He sat me down that night, and he told me about you. A family he left back in Korea, how you were about to be in high school. That day i know everything and i didn’t do anything. I couldn’t tell dad to be brave, nor do anything to help. He shown me a picture of you when you’re still a baby. He was so young and so was your mother, but so are you. Just a baby. Ever since that day, there’s always this barrier that i felt with dad. I couldn’t fully blamed him, so i blamed myself.”

“Wha- why are you blaming yourself?”

“Because that was the time when your mother was sick Y/n, she asked dad to help her to take care of you but he- he’s too afraid to came here and do the bare minimum. Y/n i am so sorry, i didn’t know what i was expecting when i moved away from dad years ago. But i know if i ever met you, i have to beg for your forgiveness- it’s been years, i’m so—”

It barely registered to you that Hansol was already burst into tears, choked up in his own words as he turns to you and fell flat to the floor. Clenched fists rests on top of his lap as he kneels. A painful sobs rocking his shoulder while you’re still processing his previous words.

The memories of your time from high school was never a fond one. Your mother sickness was a wake up call for you. It stopped your obsession from a family thousand miles away and lets you focus on your mother. It was always you and your mother, but the way that she fell ill, she needed a professional helps so a distant relatives offer a care but it was in her hometown, Daegu.

It was not easy to part with your mother, but she had insisted you to stay in your current school because your records has been excellent and how important and prestigious it is to have. She doesn’t want you to left all such good things behind because of her.

Knowing your mother was in a good hand, thus begins your own determination. To be as successful as you can. So you’ll be able to take care your mother on your own.

If not in school, you were working part time. If not tutoring, you’re studying. If not sleeping, you’re finding ways to get a simple one-day gig for easy money. With that, you passed through high school and on to college. Never forgetting every available weekend you took a late night bus to visit your mother. While countless other nights spend being with yourself in a house as empty as you feel.

“…p- please forgive me.”

What you’ve done next felt strange even to you. How your muscles move without much thought. After drifting to your memories and back to present where Hansol still on his knees and sorrowful tears. Making no sound as you kneels beside Hansol and wrapped your arms around him. His sobs grew to silence as you rub a soothing circles on his shoulder. Not knowing your own tears staining Hansol’s jacket.

“I- i didn’t mean to be so rude. But when i saw you were running away from me, even avoiding to go to work, and then you met Sofia that morning- i was just. My guilt was eating me alive, Y/n please forgive me.”

A sigh escaped your lips, the million words you’d like to say only came out as a murmur to help Hansol calms down first.

“I understand. You don’t need to apologize anymore Hansol. I forgive you.”

Hansol held onto your hand like it’s a lifeline, as his sobs continues and gradually lessen to a small sniffle. Yet you can still feel the damp spot on your own shoulder. For one last time, you pat Hansol’s back before pulling away. Holding back a smile as you see the aftermath of crying on Hansol’s face. The sharp edges of his face soften with the reddish hue. Maybe because the slight puff under his eyes that you’re never used to.

To be fair, seeing Hansol in real life is never an occurrence that you thought you would have to get used to.

“I’m sorry, i didn’t mean to be a wreck like this.” Hansol sniffles, as you handed him the boxed tissue by the table. A laugh now escaped your lips. Wet, throaty, and followed by Hansol’s.

“Didn’t i told you no more apologizing?”

Hansol, already on his feet extended his hand to you. Helping you back to the chair. Trying to compose yourself, you headed back to the kitchen. An excuse to make more tea, while you let the wave of awkwardness pass and Hansol to calm himself down.

“You know, Seungcheol hid his expensive liquor on the lower cabinet.”

“Huh?”

Before you know it, Hansol already hunched down beside you. Rummaging through the cabinet you hadn’t explored yet. Putting down the empty teacup, you peered into the new space. And truly, there, lined up many bottles of various alcohol you have never seen before.

“All this time i thought he only drank beer.” Your raised eyebrows follows Hansol’s little smirk.

“He does. But he likes to buy all kinds of liquor just because he can. Drank one sip and then straight to the cabinet here.”

It doesn’t surprise you that Hansol knew this little details. After hearing how close the two are, you had suspected what kind of relationship they have. Like birds of a feathers perhaps.

You had silently admit that you sometimes prefer a good cocktails like a simple negroni or martini. But making one has been a hassle throughout, so you often opted for beer. Hansol nodded in reply, hands busy making a mix of highball for him and a negroni for you. He had quietly admit that he used to do a part time in a bar as he learned to Dj.

With alcohol in both of your system, you can see how Hansol began to relax. Just from the way he slightly leans back on his chair. One hand rest on his leg while another on his glass. Wiping condensation on his glass out of amusement. Strangely he looks at peace.

“Can i ask you something?”

You answer with a hum. Letting the familiar bitterness coating your tongue. The taste welcomes you like a familiar surprise.

“How are you not mad at me?” You caught Hansol’s brief glance to you, and then taking a gulp of his highball. Only a bitter smile left on your face.

“Who says i’m not?” It amused you a little when you notice the slight rigidness in Hansol’s face. “Well i’m no longer mad, that’s the full answer. Its years of bearing grudge, anger, and envy. I decided i have enough with these feelings. Like a child blaming the world for everything that didn’t go their way. Although the self-deprecation remained sometimes. Eventually it all just went away, maybe because i’m tired and my mom being sick is like a wake up call for me out of these stupid obsession of my past. Of you to be honest.” A smile appear on your face at the thought that pops up as you stare at the half-empty tumbler. “You know, at the last months before she passed, my mom used to say this to me each time i came to visit. Before i left, she would hold my hands tightly and wishes for me to live for myself and be happy. To chase what i love and live the way that i’d invite happiness with open arms. It’s as if she’s trying to say goodbye every time, so that she know i’ll leave with no regrets.”

“I’m ready to apologize my whole life Y/n.” The words rang heavy in the air. Being buzzed had relaxed both of you, yet the words remain weighing down your own shoulder. It doesn’t even feel like it lessened Hansol’s heart. Your smile are clouded with a frown.

“You’ve said your sorry Hansol. That’s enough.” Taking a deeper breath, you mustered a smile before finishing the last drop of your drink. The ice has melted, making it fully watered down. “What’s happened happened, it’s up to me and you now to live our life. We’ve done it quite well actually. You on your own, me on my own.”

“I couldn’t really said i’ve done well. Living my life.” Hansol’s smile accompanied with a bitter chuckle. You purse your lips, nodding as commiseration.

“You might. To be honest, maybe i do too. What’s important is trying to do our best, every time in the future.” Your small shrug replied by Hansol’s chuckle. His glass empty and his tears dried.

The silenced air felt lighter now.

Maybe it’s the alcohol in your system adding to the effect, but the weight lifted between the both of you proving the unsaid agreement from a long misconstrued past. You kinda missed the quiet scuttle of Kkuma’s footsteps. A squeaky toy in her mouth.

“I’ve been kind of avoiding Seungcheol ever since we met. I should apologize to him as well.” Your frown brought Hansol’s smile wider at his admission.

“That, you should. Maybe we can gift him a bottle of expensive Gin to say sorry for making him leave his place on a weekend.”

“You know he wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole.” Hansol muttered matter-of-factly.

“That’s where we secretly drink it. So it won’t go to waste.” Trying to suppress a laugh, Hansol on the other hand, applauded your silly idea.

“Speaking of Seungcheol,” Hansol rubbed his nose while glancing to you through the corner of his eyes. The teasing smile brings you back to the memories of a playful kid you used to barely know. “Since when, are you two together?”

You raised your eyebrows at his question. In return, Hansol shrugged in nonchalant smile. Hiding behind it is a sliver of mirth you never thought you’d see in a lifetime.

“Hmm, let’s see. It hasn’t been long to be honest.” You mumbled throughout. Suddenly feeling shy at the question of your relationship life. “You see i was just starting to work at the office downstairs a few months ago. I got lost on my first day and knocks on Seungcheol’s door at like, 8 AM probably. He’s barely had his eyes open the first time we met.”

Hansol coughs interrupted your train of thoughts. When you look over, you don’t expect the furrowed on his eyebrows as Hansol tries to open the bottled water you just handed over.

Rather curiosly, you gaze at Hansol as he downed almost half of the bottle. Your curiosity grew even more when Hansol stammers his words at your simple gaze.

“What is it Hansol? What are you trying to say?” You pressed on. Unassuming smile on your face while you propped your head on your palm.

“Didn’t you both met at college?”

“No, we just went to the same college. We don’t really know each other then.”

When the frown on Hansol’s face grow deeper, your curiosity does the same. Your heartbeat grew as you let your gaze urging Hansol to elaborate more on his question.

“It’s just—” Hansol tries to look away, but he shifts in his seat before focusing his eyes back to you. “Back then, i know about you through him, before Seungcheol dropped out of uni. He mentioned someone he fell in love with, and he showed you to me when you’re working part-time at the florist nearby. I have my suspicion of who you are and then Seungcheol showed me your old photo with your mom in social media. Wait- what’s happening here—”

Sensing the same confusion radiating from your rigid frame, Hansol clams to himself and trying to find some sort of reasoning. In the end he found none and only resorted to doing nothing as he watched you glued to your seat, expression growing darker as confusion eats away your thoughts.

Millions of image flashes in your brain, remembering every time you stare at Seungcheol’s perfectly sculpted face. How he smile and laugh so hard at his own little antics in his own attempt to make you smile. It turns you now to wonder what kind of thought passes by his head when he harbour such secret to himself.

And what might other little secret he has kept hidden and wrapped in a box. Awaiting the perfect time to unravel.

It turns your stomach upside down. The dawning thought that you might not know Seungcheol at all. The man you had grown to love and laid yourself bare of any inhibition. How it scares you now that he’s becoming one of the rock you clung on to in this life. Right after your mother.

Yet it all crumble to a lie. Somehow. It doesn’t anger you that some truth had never reach your knowledge and you’re determined to dig it out of Seungcheol.

Just how much of reality he has presented and whether what your feeling has been built all upon lies.

The fated afternoon unfurling another wave of uncertainty in your life.

Somehow Seungcheol sat in the eye of the storm.

\\

It was the sound of the door unlocking that snap you out of your thoughts.

Unable to discern time passing even before you told Hansol that you need time for yourself. To which he reluctantly did grants you.

Not before you make him promised you not to tell Seungcheol anything regarding the day. Especially of your newfound revelation. You noticed how Hansol looks like he’s torn between worlds. Yet he make his promise to you.

The sun has gone far down. Seungcheol’s place strangely feels more homely when it’s dark. But now there’s a big floating elephant occupying the familiar space.

Quickly after the front door was shut, Seungcheol appears in front of you. The smile in his face are adorned with his dimple. Even after you cast your eyes on him. You know he could feel the questions from the small quirk of your eyebrow. Seungcheol still make his way to you.

“How did it went? How do you feel?”

“Years after my mom passed, i always keep her words in mind. I go by my day like i used to do for years. I thought i’ve done my best. Until i start to work in this building. I realize that I haven’t been living for myself. I don’t think i ever was, with the way i pushed people out of my life and act like i don’t need anyone’s help. And i met you here, for what i thought for the first time. I accepted your help and welcomed you into my life. Happily.” Taking a pause and a deep breath, you stood from the sofa and approach Seungcheol. Each step heavier than before as he kept his eyes to you. Only when you’re facing each other that you noticed the lines in his face. Ones that grown deeper each time he’s scared or worried.

“Y/n-”

“But then today i learned that those were not the first time we met. So tell me, who are you?”

Seungcheol remained where he stood as a shuddering breath fills his lungs. Rubbing his face before glancing to anywhere but you. As his silence grew, you heart shrink. Crashing down in fear of a realization that the love you chase and happiness you feel are possibly just a smoke and mirror in Seungcheol’s hands.

“I’m still me. Please believe that whatever Hansol is telling you, it’s a misunderstanding. Please let me explain.” The words came to you like a chilling rush. Bringing you back to life but it left you in the cold. “D-do you remember when you were working part time in the library? When we were still in college? W-wait no, the night bus you usually took when you visit your mother—”

“What?"

“Please let me explain Y/n. I—” Seungcheol took your hand, he couldn’t mask the disappointment in his face when you flinch at his touch. “Like this, you used to comfort me like this. Recently, and back then when i hid in the corner of the library at night.” Your frown only left Seungcheol to hold your hand tighter. “Before dropping out, all i did was having a breakdown over things i couldn’t control. But you— you were just the same as me, yet you comfort me every time. Not saying anything or even ask my name as you hold me back then. I still remember you even offered me water and snacks that you save to get you through the night shift in the library.

But even before that, i met you at that bus. The midnight and the cheapest one you took to go back to Seoul after visiting your mother in Daegu. I heard someone on the phone telling their mother that they were warmly dressed to sleep throughout that freezing bus ride. I didn’t know it was you when i left a scarf on your lap as you were sleeping. And when you found me the next time, hiding from the world in that library just a few nights after, you were wearing that scarf.”

“…and Hansol?”

“After you quit at the library, i admit i kept on accidentally bumping on to you on every part time job you did. Even until i dropped out and work with Hansol in the studio, i only told him about someone i’ve been making my songs about, then showed him one picture of you and he told me nothing. Nothing. Even after we got officially signed together, then we got busy with work and you— you were graduating.

After that I never saw you anymore, even when i intentionally took the late night bus to Daegu hoping to bumped into you. Until— until that morning when you knocked on my door and i thought i must’ve positively gone insane from work.”

The words rushing out of Seungcheol’s mouth raises million questions in your head. The memories coming back to you quickly and it burns to your mind. All the things you missed as you don’t paid enough attention to your own life. Too busy living for your mother and old obsession.

“That scarf…”

“Y/n?”

You hadn’t realized your whispers and the tears in your eyes. Too busy staring at the man in front of you. The image suddenly clicks as you slowly enveloped Seungcheol in a hug. A feeling you came to love more, knowing that every fibre of your being is right where it supposed to be.

With a sigh of relief, Seungcheol put his hands around you and pulls you closer. Your tears scares him to death but the warmth in your touch comfort his thought somehow. He can only savour the present. Fear that it slips through his hands like it did back then.

“There are possibly not many meaningful things i kept in my life. But that scarf, maybe one thing that give me strength and comfort everyday.” Your words prompted him to hitch a breath.

“I know, you wore that often. I almost had a heart attack when you came here wearing it the first time.”

“You should’ve told me from the start. I could’ve thanked you and known you properly. Even back then—”

“I was only a wreck back the—”

“Hey, don’t say things like that. You’re not a wreck. You’re a good person, and a good friend. You’re enough.”

Seungcheol has to fight the smile in his face. Your words has sent his heart to overdrive. He pulls away only to close in and kiss your temple. The two of you sharing a content sigh as the familiar comfort wrap you both after a whirlwind of an emotional day.

“I’m sorry, i should’ve told you sooner. And for unintentionally being the reason you and Hansol met. How do you feel? Meeting him?”

“It was surreal. Like a dream. Ones that start so suddenly, and then you woke up with the most vivid memories only to forgot about it moments later.” You slowly confess. It earned a nod from Seungcheol. Still holding you tight. “But i’m glad it happened. Meeting you, and Hansol. I feel like it all had to happened somehow. No matter how absurd the process was.”

“Are you sure you’re glad meeting me?”

You nodded with a smile. Seungcheol’s eyes scans your face slowly, capturing your sight to his memory. Like he won’t let this moment end without remembering every little corners and creases on your face.

“Despite how and what happened, i wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m sorry. For not recognizing you.”

Wordlessly, Seungcheol bows his head to hide his face to the column of your neck. The constant closeness deepens the smile on your face. The rise and fall of tension throughout the day has let you to melt into his touch completely.

“I can feel you itching to say something.” Seungcheol’s low whispers heats a patch on your skin. You’ve been trying to focus on other things for awhile now. But the weight of Seungcheol’s touch, even on your clothed skin are feeding into the new excitement deep behind the initial butterflies that filled your guts. “I can also hear your heart drumming in your chest.”

“Of course you can.” Your quiet retort pulls Seungcheol back to straightened. The familiar looks in his eyes never faze you. But right now? Him looking at you through his incredibly long lashes as his dimple slowly deepened with every second passing. Your quiet resolve slowly melting under his gaze while you can feel Seungcheol tightened his hold on your waist.

“So what is it you want to say Y/n?” The smirk on Seungcheol face as he utters your name sink the feeling deeper in the pit of your stomach. His teasing nature felt familiar in your mind. But him utilizing it to quickened the blood in your vein as well as making you want him are beyond your thought.

“There’s nothing that i want to say though.”

“Hmm,” Seungcheol paused to take a look down to your lips and shamelessly let his gaze lingers. “Then i guess we have to do something with those idle lips.”

You shook your head in disbelief before decreasing the distance yourself. His lips welcome you gladly and softly. As much as Seungcheol loves the taste of your lips, he kept his desire at bay as he lets you take control. For now.

Touching every surface of skin at your disposal, you nib and tug hungrily into his plump lips. Couldn’t care less about Seungcheol’s growing smirk. Not when he cradles the side of your face gently, yet the feeling of his coarsed palm along your cheek are just fuelling your desire more.

Seungcheol gladly drinks in every little noises that escaped your lips. A sense of pride would’ve filled his mind but the way his every senses are filled with you are setting his focus to savour your taste more. Cherishing how his heart leap and fell faster just with just the scent of your skin closer to him.

He really thought he was well and truly mad.

Hungrily chasing Seungcheol’s lips, your eager steps brought the two of you to the sofa. Seungcheol fell down with an ‘oomph’ and you waste no time to straddle him and planting your lips back on.

Now it’s your turn to cradle his face as if you’ll lose him if you don’t.

You almost whined when Seungcheol pulls himself away from your lips. His eyelids flutters open before groaning and tipping his head back over the sofa.

Unknowing of the flustered and heaving state of your own, you only stare at Seungcheol incredulously. As if he’s grown a second head.

“…what is it?”

“No, i—”

Seungcheol doesn’t wanna waste his words. Lunging himself back to you. Capturing your lips with a new intensity. Puffs of warm breath escaped as he angled your head in his hold. Deepening the kiss with the way his tongue moves against yours.

Your own hand relent to the delicious pleasure while clenching the fabric of his hoodie.

Replying the same fervour of his kiss as you nibble on his tongue in hunger. Swallowing the deep bellied groan from the man under you. It spurs Seungcheol’s next action. You can feel the heat from his palms as they moves lower, resting briefly on either side of your hips before making a slow move to the bare skin under your shirt.

“Y/n i don’t want to rush you.” Seungcheol whispers low. Lips hovering barely on yours as your nose brushes against each other. You slowly closes your eyes to savour even the slightest touch.

“Choi Seungcheol.” You know he hates it. “It’s been years ever since an unknown stranger placed a scarf to my lap on that freezing bus ride. At first i was apprehensive. Who could it be and where it came from. But then that bus was so cold.” You almost wince at the memory. The times where you only could afford so in your tight college budget.

“It was, truly it felt like a torture. That really justifies their price huh?”

“It really does. And i took that scarf because riding on that bus and arriving to the city in the morning gives me the perfect time for my early class. Yeah, i sound like a maniac. I wasn’t thinking that time. Certainly wasn’t even thinking of myself.” You smile as you paused, raising your hand to caress Seungcheol’s face. A smile blooms in your face when Seungcheol’s eyelids flutter close at your touch. “I didn’t know it back then but a kindness from stranger might be the first step i took to meet you. Took me years even without knowing you, to know that i was waiting for you. Do you think i have anymore patience left in me?”

“Only you Y/n, that can say such words that makes me so happy and turning me into melting puddle. And then looks so sexy while saying it.” Seungcheol words are chasing you. Closing the gap between you once more.

Effortlessly, Seungcheol lift you up with his grip securing your legs. Thankfully you found your balance quickly. Circling your arms around Seungcheol’s neck and your legs wrapped around his hips as he makes his way somewhere.

You truly couldn’t care. Too busy kissing Seungcheol deeper as his tongue explored your mouth.

Until he gently lowers you into a soft surface. A bed. Your mind quickly provides. Seungcheol’s bed, to be exact. You took no time to lay back down and bringing Seungcheol with you. Lips still tangled in kisses. His long bangs slightly grazing your face as he caged you between his strong arms.

Seungcheol makes it quick to whip himself out of the giant hoodie he’s wearing. But still leaving him in a tight compression shirt. You wonder if he’s just done working out today. The way the shirt tightly clung into his defined muscles makes your hunger took a deep dive down.

It truly didn’t do his muscles justice when Seungcheol have the affinity to wear baggy clothes.

Your hands quickly wanders off from his back, arms, and eventually stops where his shirts end. Your fingers tried to pry the tights shirt off but to no avail. Seungcheol leaned down even closer, one hand lift up to cup your chin.

The touch feels so gentle yet it burns.

“Baby, do you want something off?”

“You’re driving me insane.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

In a swift motion, Seungcheol straightened up to take the compression shirt off and set himself snug in between your thighs. Kneeling tall on his bed, letting the ambient lights bounce off of the smooth and defined muscles of his whole exposed torso. The thought of drooling as a response feels appropriate in your mind. But what came out of your mouth are just an inaudible whispers of amazement.

Seungcheol took pity of your state and dive down to plant a kiss to the exposed skin above your pants. You followed his action through half-lidded eyes. Seungcheol’s hand are proven nimble despite its size as he quickly unbuttoned your pants and eventually took it off of you.

“Have i ever said that you smells so good. All the time.”

You murmured a laugh but it was quickly replaced with pleasured sighs as Seungcheol plants kisses along your navel. His hands leaving heat all over your thighs. Making himself comfortable as he lowers down to be on his knees.

“Shut your mouth, Seungcheol.”

“Will do darling.”

Biting your lips, you tried to suppress a moan but failed as you can feel the rumble of Seungcheol laughs against your inner thigh. From that moment on, you accept that Seungcheol can easily drove you mad just from his voice alone.

You can’t wait to explore more in that. For now, you enjoys the way Seungcheol took his time to find his way around the exposed skin on your body. A frustrated mewl escaped your lips when Seungcheol obviously taking too much time. The anticipation in the pit of your stomach are fuelled with every kiss he left on your skin.

“Fuck, Seungcheol p-please,” your breath hitch as Seungcheol places lingering kiss at the base of your thigh. “Either eat me out or don’t do anything.”

“So fucking demanding, and so fucking hot.” Seungcheol hand flew up to toy around the fabric of your panties. His eyes drinking at your state on top of his bed. Heaving breath and basked in the warm lights of his own bedroom. “We have to do something about that huh? Me shutting my mouth.”

You don’t need to crane your neck to see that Seungcheol has placed his head lower. His hands drag you by your leg to have you closer to his reach. All while also removing the last piece of clothing that’s covering your lower half.

“So beautiful, baby. Don’t ever hold back those moan for me.”

“Cheol. Shut. Up.”

“As you wish, baby.”

With one last kiss to your lifted knee, Seungcheol smirks before disappearing from your line of sight. The words previously let out through your gritted teeth are quickly replaced with moans. Echoing through the room with reckless abandon.

“Oh- fuck S-seungcheol.”

Half of your thought are filled with the urge to laugh, because how good Seungcheol is making you feel. The other half are gone from its respected place as the same man is skilfully moving his tongue into your already sopping core. You can feel the slight vibration as Seungcheol chuckle through his successful ministration. He brought up your anticipation only to return to making out with your labia.

You sighed at his action. He was clearly on a mission. To steal all of your breath as he continuously nibble and bringing more friction as it feeds to your desire. The delicious edge in the pit of your stomach are seemingly close as Seungcheol buries his face deeper. Uncaring of how he’s needing oxygen to breath. He’s busying himself to pleasure you. Gasping every now and then before diving and applying pressure around your clit with only his tongue.

“Fuck-”

Your words are cut short when Seungcheol replaces his tongue with his finger. Clenching the soft materials of his sheets, you almost wail. His mouth never left your gushing core as his finger helps you closer to your orgasm. Thighs trembling and all that.

Seungcheol one hand kept around your thigh to let him continues his ministration. His other hand couldn’t help to slip into your wet cunt. Ignoring the growing tent in his pants. One finger, thick enough to build its pace slowly. Easing into the steady set of movement Seuncgheol has set up with his lips and tongue. Continuous shiver runs down his spine every time he can feel your legs quiver or when you moan with reckless abandon.

When Seungcheol added another finger in his motion, you almost wailed in both surprise and pleasure.

“S-Seungcheol, Cheol please-”

“Please what baby?”

The low hum of Seungcheol’s reply can be felt close to your cunt. Adding warmth as well as added intensity to the coiling pit of pleasure in your guts.

As if on cue, Seungcheol retracted his fingers altogether. Making himself lower to dive back in to devour your cunt. The wetness on his fingers are making it easy for him to slip into his own pants and try to release the tension on his cock. Meanwhile the constant build up of pleasure has left you somewhat hanging, but the little yet impactful movements of Seungcheol’s plump lips around your clit are bringing you straight to another high for your release.

The sheer intensity of Seungcheol’s lips on you, are making the most sinful sound you ever heard. Wet squelching noise accompanies your breathless moan as your hand tries to grab on anything that would either help you to your release or hold you down through the whirlwind of pleasure.

When Seungcheol feels your body almost shuddering tight to another close, the hand in his pants move faster. Sloppier. Driven from the remnants of your wetness on his fingers, now mixing with his own precums. Seungcheol can’t help to moan as he hums it straight to your cunt. It all sent your body to a crescendo, not long as you held on tight to the soft duvet around you.

“Ohhh fuck- fuck Cheol.”

Your body quivers uncontrollably, but Seungcheol one big hand is strong enough to keep you still as waves and waves of pleasure runs through your every nerve straight to your core. Sending your wetness straight into Seungcheol’s open and welcoming lips. Strings of babbling noises escaped your lips as you let yourself be carried through your eventual release. Seungcheol continuous moan sent steady vibration, getting you through to calm your racing heartbeat back to clarity.

Not long, until you eventually cognizant enough to feel and see that Seungcheol are now the one lost in pleasure. Chasing his own release with one hand shoved into his pants and the other trying to find leverage for him to rise up from the floor.

“…fuck, baby. You tastes too good.”

With a somewhat unimaginable core strength, Seungcheol managed to bend down and catching your lips into a heated and sloppy kiss. You can feel remnants of your own wetness as Seungcheol cups your head in one hand and kisses you in hurried fervency. Chasing his own release, his hand kept its steady pace on his cock while his brows grow taut and lips hovering barely on top of yours. Puffs of hot air blowing straight to your face as Seungcheol eventually groan into your clavicle.

You can feel his warm cum painting your belly as Seungcheol has his face still hidden into your skin. Your hand instinctively flew to bury your fingers in Seungcheol messy tuft of hair. Proving to ease him down from his bliss as Seungcheol lets out comfortable hums.

“I love being held by you.” Seungcheol mutters as he plants lazy kisses along your exposed skin. Setting himself snug on his side while enveloped by your hand as you continue to play with his hair. Still not finding your words or the strength to get up, you only managed a nonchalant hum as a reply.

Clarity hasn’t found your fogged up mind yet.

“What baby? Cat got your tongue?” Seungcheol teases, his hand snaked around your figure. Bringing you flush to his chest. A whisper of smile on his face. The dimple grow deeper, setting Seungcheol’s face seemingly glowing inside the dim room.

“Excuse me for being spent after someone decided to take ages to make me cum.” Your words instantly changes the look in Seungcheol’s eyes. You fear you’ve awaken a sleeping giant.

Although with the way Seungcheol’s muscles look, even with the minimal light in his room, he can actually be considered as a giant. The image flashes of his taut abs in your mind brought a delicious shudder down to your spine once again. All while Seungcheol’s heated gaze remains on you.

With a single tug, Seungcheol has managed to pin you down while the gaze he hold also captures you frozen, within the closeness and the mixture of scent between the two of you enveloping you whole.

“We have to do something about this, then?” Seungcheol whispers lowly against your lips.

You barely register Seungcheol’s question. As if it bounces off of your focus from the man who now laying almost on top of you. Without you knowing, his hand travels to hold your legs opened for him.

“..huh? What?”

“I remember someone did say they have no more patience left.” Seungcheol smirk, his one hand managed to propped himself up, but not crushing you. While the other has found itself caressing your hip under the still remaining fabric of your shirt.

The new heat and excitement rendering you silent as Seungcheol savour the stuttering breath he received just from a simple touch. He never gets tired of being amaze at the minuscule changes in your face. The brief moments he saw of you getting lost in pleasure just from his fingers and lips are proven to be some sort of a drugs for him.

He’s eager to have you more.

“So fuck me then, Choi Seungcheol.”

With a grunt, Seungcheol dives in. His lips captures yours with new ferocity. Barely a second apart just to yank your shirt off. Gone was any semblance of sanity as you manage to hear little clinking of your button flung around somewhere around Seungcheol’s room.

Seungcheol is just a man. Who gives in so easy with your simple taunt. Yet he won’t let you have it completely your way.

“You can’t stand feeling so empty huh?”

Seungcheol’s words sets off your moan, his hands which gripping your thighs hard to force it open also adding the hunger in you.

Messy hair and abs glistening in sheen of sweat, you cannot held back the whimper in your throat. Desperation runs through your vein. Seungcheol kneels between your wide open legs, his clothed cock stood dangerously close to your core but not enough.

“Good thing i make you cum so hard right? How else are you gonna take my cock?”

“Please- fuck, i can.” You sounded like a fool, but priorities stand first.

“Uh-huh, you wanted me so bad baby? Can’t even waste the night sleeping huh? You have to make this cock fuck you good.”

Incoherent plea escapes your lips, Seungcheol smirked at the sight. His fingers now play with your slick core, making sure you’re wet enough. Truthfully, Seungcheol himself can’t wait to bury himself deep into you. The thought send shudders down his spine.

“Ju- just fuck me Cheol, i’m on pills.”

Seungcheol has a plan to edge you out for tonight, but your words truly sets him off of all restraint. The image of you, face contorted in pleasure and whispering his name in needs. It rushed his blood straight to his cock.

“You don’t know what those words make me feel Y/n.” Seungcheol lowly whispers. His lips tracing close on the column of your neck and the newly exposed portion of your skin.

“Then show me. Fuck me good and hard.”

Your words quickly shorted with a gasp. Seungcheol’s finger which has been steadily playing with your clit are pulled away abruptly. Scrambling to take off the sweats he just wore, chucking it away in abandon.

You catch the sight of Seungcheol’s cock, standing tall and it almost sent you jaw in slack. You never knew you had these innate feeling of hunger for Seungcheol’s cock. Especially after seeing its size.

Seungcheol gives your pussy one swipe before lining up his cock to the entrance. Slowly pushing to the hilt, Seungcheol coaxed you in a sweet whispers of praises. His cock filled you so deliciously, enough for you to pushed the initial pain aside.

“That’s it baby, feels so good. Doing so good taking me.”

Your only response was a moan, in a mix of delight and lingering sore.

His long hair almost touched your glistening forehead as your hand flung to take a hold of Seungcheol’s back. Unconsciously raking your nails but the sensation only resulting in a low groan from the man on top of you.

With the slightest nod from you, Seungcheol thrusts in a slow pace. Yet enough to sent shudder down your spine. Feeds your appetite deliciously while Seungcheol chuckled above you.

Half of him is delirious on how good you’re making him feels. Spurring his thrusts faster with you whimpering as a result. Your chest heaved with every breath and it invited Seungcheol to squeeze one of your tits in his hand. It only drove you crazier.

The same sensation engulfing the two of you escalated. Filled with pleasure and incited with greed. A familiar burn certainly visits you once more. Weaving close with pleasure to blankets you delightfully.

The long torturing time of Seungcheol trying to keep his excitement and desire at bay has resulted in the same disbelief. At first when you knock on his door a few months ago. And now, filling you so deep while having encouraging noises of pleasure as your best reply to his thrusts.

“Oh, fuc- Cheol please.”

Seungcheol smirk against your heated skin between the valley of your breasts.

“Is this good and hard enough for you princess?”

Shameless mewl resonates against the air. Mixing into the same wavelength as the sound of Seungcheol’s hips slapping against the peak of your ass. The sound only sending your pleasure knotting tighter in your guts.

He knows that he’s close. Stuttering sets of movements paired with gradual rigour to keep pushing. The warmth enclose from your core are inviting him to just bury his cock deep and lay it rests.

“C-cheol, just please, let go.”

In between your gasps of word, Seungcheol merely growl. Sheer force of control in his core while his hand grip your side and pulls you upwards and close matching every thrusts.

Your hands are quick to find purchase to anything around you. Trembling hold against the taut muscle of Seungcheol’s arm and the other to the soft duvet. It flows familiarly, the pleasure. Snapping close as your orgasm crashing down your whole body and reducing it to a mere husk while your nerve exploded in dances of lights.

Seungcheol drinks in your sight and sloppily thrusts until his own orgasm coursing spark through his veins. Mixture of whimpers and groans filled the air as Seungcheol kept his cock ramming into you even after spurts of cum paints your core.

Almost collapsing to you, Seungcheol held his weight on his elbow. Closing the distance to plants lazy kisses around you. Peppered with praises.

Thankfully you’re too spent to let this spark your hunger once more.

Maybe it’s worth checking out later.

For now, you’re barely cognizant as Seungcheol begins to clean you up. But now a pair of boxer suffice for him before pulling you close under the duvet.

The conscious part of you want to gaze into Seungcheol’s sleeping face all night. So free of inhibition and strangely freeing to the part in the corners of your mind. Where you keep all the things you cherish throughout your life.

It used to be unbearably empty. You have a feeling it’ll be filled with many more from now on.

“Baby,” Seungcheol deep and hushed tone graze your ears. A lazy smile adorned his face. Eyes still closed while his dimple inviting a kiss from you. “What got you thinking so hard?”

You kiss his dimple anyway. Sealing it to your memory.

“Choi Seungcheol, I’m being serious. Please don’t keep any secret from me now.”

Seungcheol eyes widen for a split second, the guilt visible in the twinkle of the dark orbs. Silently, he raises one hand to graze the flyaways that falling to your face. His thumb stops to caress your cheek.

“The morning when you knock on my door. It brings me such rush of memories. Everything, that happened in my life, i don’t know why it somehow leads me to you. At first i thought that such thing as fate is corny but then i fell for you. Much harder than when i used to in college. Then i realize i was always thinking about you. The songs i wrote, how i pulled through any hardships, somehow you’re there in my thoughts. It scares me how you became such a big thing in my life i can’t even begin to start how to explain things to you without sounding like a mad person along the way. I truly am sorry, i will be honest from now on. I could never lose you”

Your eyes frantically searches Seungcheol’s. How it glistens in the dark with his confession. You smiles at the realizations. How all your life you’ve been down with such burdening thoughts of the past and how you’ve been fighting to keep things from getting you on your knees every time. You couldn’t have the time to look at your surrounding and live just the life that you’ve been inspiring others to.

“I wish-” you choked back a smile. “I wish i recognized you the first time. I wish i could meet you for the first time once more. Then, i could get to know you sooner, and we could’ve gone through it all together.”

“Do you regret it? Meeting me at all?”

You shook your head violently. Craning your neck to kiss the tears that pools by the corner of Seungcheol’s eyes.

“You see me. Makes me see past my own fears and eventually face it. I could never regret meeting you.”

Seungcheol pulls you flush into his arms. His warmth enveloped you, now with more profound feelings deep in your heart.

Faint memories of your cold nights in the bus and hidden aisle of college libraries grazes your mind. The resulting rollercoaster of your life in these past months culminating into a weird resolve around Choi Seungcheol.

You could never know what would happened in the future with you and the recently connected ties with Hansol. But you could agree that it brought you a little peace of how it all rolls out. In addition of the knowledge that you have Seungcheol. Always there and ready to lift you up.

You pulls away to looks at the man in front of you. The thought that he sees you past your own views surrounding your world completed the piece you hadn’t know you’re missing your whole life.

prev chapter ||

whew, it's done!

[marlynnofmany]

Singing the Return

(A followup to Singing the Approach)

Our ship touched down like usual, with the captain in the cockpit along with a pilot (it was Kavlae’s shift), talking to the locals about where to park. In a slight departure from usual, this landing pad wasn’t anywhere near the ground. It was on top of a cactus-tree-thing that thankfully (very thankfully) didn’t sway in the wind.

I waited in the cargo bay with Zhee. He was a little twitchy, flicking his antenna and shuffling his legs and generally not holding still. I wasn’t about to say anything about it, but I suspected Zhee wasn’t a fan of heights.

Luckily for him, the landing pad was broad enough that he didn’t need to get close to the edge. Unluckily for him, Captain Sunlight had suggested that he be part of the delivery crew today because he’d been there when we met the clients before, and they would be expecting him.

With the amount he was flexing his pinchers, you’d think he was the one the clients had offered to give a tour of their skyscraper cactus city.

As the bay door started to open, Zhee asked me, “Did you check if that belt has a full charge?”

“Yes I did,” I told him, pushing the button on my gravity belt to display a full line of power lights. “And Mimi even looked it over for loose wires or whatever. I’m all set.”

“Good,” Zhee said, angling his torso so that his front half was higher — the Mesmer equivalent of standing up straight. I was continually amused by how much praying mantises resembled centaurs, and how much this particular alien species resembled Earth bugs. This wasn’t the time to bring it up, though.

The door was open all the way now, and there was Captain Sunlight, come to lead the way out. I could see a cluster of many-limbed locals waiting outside in the bright sun. The landing surface looked like it was made of red rocks mined nearby. Hopefully they were stable on top of this cactus-tree. The captain waved us forward: Zhee with the crates on a hoversled and me singing my best approximation of the local greeting song.

I’d practiced it on the way here. It was high-pitched but slow, like a songbird in slow motion. Or, more accurately, like a songbird trying to sing like a whale. This particular culture interacted regularly with their ground-bound evolutionary cousins, who wouldn’t have made it past the first climbing spike on these cactus towers.

The Tree-grabber in front stepped forward, chirping a reply song, then switching to the more recognizable trade language. “Greetings! We are delighted to smell you.” He waved his mousy ears happily, all four arms folded in front of him.

“And we you,” replied Captain Sunlight, whose people actually said that kind of greeting themselves. Her yellow scales were extra bright in this sun. “Would you like to inspect the merchandise?”

They would. Zhee did his part by prying open the crates with his mighty mantis arms — I don’t know why the supplier of these fruits insisted on packaging them this way, but it was good we had him along — and the Tree-grabbers all made a big deal of sniffing the fruits. The antigrav belts in the other crate got sniffed too, though thankfully they didn’t stink.

I could smell the fruits from where I was standing; that sour smell made my eyes water even at a distance. But no one was paying attention to me, busy as they were with signing for the delivery on the tablet that Captain Sunlight held out. Zhee put the lids back on. I wiped my eyes and admired the view. It was a nice scenic desert scrubland out there, with only the other cactus-trees in the way. I could see the entire sprawling city where the Ground-grabbers lived, and just barely make out the buildings on the distant Air-grabber mesa.

“Are you still interested in a tour?” someone asked.

I turned back and smiled without baring teeth. “Yes please!”

The lead Tree-grabber was returning the tablet to Captain Sunlight while the others moved the crates onto their own low-tech wheeled cart. Behind them, a hatch slid open in the red stones of the landing pad. Zhee towed the hoversled back toward our ship as soon as it was empty.

Captain Sunlight looked up at me. “Travel with care,” she said, which was a polite way of urging me not to trip and fall off the cactus.

“I will,” I told her. “And I have my phone if anything comes up.” That covered a lot of ground. We’d already discussed keeping an eye out for possible delivery needs: offworld items that I might tactfully suggest to the locals. They wouldn’t have thought to ask about the antigrav belts if the subject hadn’t come up in conversation the last time we were here.

“Then kindly follow me to the handpath,” said the many-limbed monkey-mouse. Dang, what was his name? I thought. He had a name. It translated as just a sound. Chirp, right, that’s what it was. I knew that. Totally professional over here. I kindly followed Chirp in the direction of the handpath.

Which was over the edge, because of course it was. Metal handrails like the kind I usually saw at swimming pools waited next to the steps. Chirp led the way.

I set the gravity belt to “catch me if I suddenly plunge downward,” and followed.

I like climbing, right? Big fan. I was all over the playground as a kid, and I never really stopped. It’s particularly fun when I get to be “the one who can reach things high up,” or otherwise be appreciated for climbing a tree or a spaceship or what have you. Occasionally I’ll meet someone else who enjoys being above the ground. Most species seem to prefer being on a safe, level surface.

Not these guys. Wow. I was glad that Captain Sunlight had insisted on the gravity belt, because this was intense. The entire city street system were basically ladders on the outside of skyscrapers.

“This handpath is designed with elders and the occasional visitor in mind,” Chirp called up to me. “Artificial steps and platforms placed regularly.” When I looked down, I saw that he was indeed standing on a platform already, which even had a railing around it. There were more ladders on either side, and other platforms that could be reached with the help of metal handholds.

“That’s very considerate,” I said. Other cactus-trees were close enough that I could watch the agile citizens scurry along the surfaces, using only the natural cactus spikes and small branches. Wild. “Do you have any handpaths inside?” I managed to make it sound casual as I stepped down onto the platform with a perfectly normal heart rate. There was a door here that I hadn’t seen from above.

“There are some,” he said. “Mostly for emergencies.”

I had to laugh. “That’s the opposite of where I’m from.”

“Really?” He perked up in curiosity. “How so?”

“We have tall buildings like this that we made,” I said with a wave toward the towering plants. “Nothing on Earth grows this big, but we can build it. And we do all our travel between levels inside, except for emergency escape ladders on the outside.”

“Fascinating!” Chirp said. “I suppose if you make the whole things yourselves, you can make sure the inside is strong enough to support as many rooms as you need.”

“Yeah, definitely,” I agreed, laying a palm against the smooth cactus wall. “These are pretty soft at the core, huh?”

“Oh yes, that’s why the rooms are kept strictly to the outer layer,” Chirp said. “Come in; let me show you.”

He opened the door and I got ready to duck, since it was just under human height, then a rapid succession of shadows passed over us.

Chirp made an irritated click. “Air-grabbers, come to get in the way again!”

I looked, curious to see what they actually looked like. Both the Tree-grabbers and the Ground-grabbers had complained about them last time.

They looked a lot like I expected: bats with skinny arms held close while they flew. Everybody seemed to have six limbs on this planet.

And varying opinions about personal space. The Air-grabbers fluttered around the cactus towers, inspecting anything that caught their interest. They circled people carrying groceries. They poked their heads into open doors, only to get shooed back out. They arrowed in on the spaceship parked above. And they flew past me repeatedly, almost enough of them to run into each other. High-pitched voices floated on the breeze, but none of them addressed us directly.

“Inside,” Chirp said, opening the door. I followed him in. He shut it firmly, leaving the squeaking cloud of bats outside.

The ceiling was a bit low here, but at least this was a proper civilized room, not something carved directly from the wet cactus innards. Multiple desks, counters, and couches made it look like an info center, or some other kind of “just arrived from above” hub. I wondered if there was a lot of travel between cactus cities here. Several locals waited in line.

Then someone else rushed in after us, complaining in her own chittering language, and she pulled up short when she saw the tall alien bent over by the door.

“Hello,” I said.

“My greetings,” she said, edging sideways. “Pardon.” With a quick arm gesture that was probably polite — one to her chest and three outward — she hurried off to stand in line. Everyone else was staring.

I’ve been stared at plenty in my time, so this was only a little awkward. I waved. Small windows that I hadn’t noticed in the walls flickered with passing shadows.

Chirp said, “I apologize for the Air-grabbers. They hardly make a visit pleasant.”

“Is there any way to ask them nicely to leave?” I asked. “I assume you’re tried discussing it with their leaders?”

“Many times.” Chirp looked tired. “They don’t care. As far as they’re concerned, the air is their territory, and it’s our poor luck that we have to breathe it.”

“How rude,” I murmured, not wanting to cast judgement on an alien culture. But my present audience more than agreed.

“Yes, they are very rude,” Chirp said, working up to a proper rant. “Shouting at them does no good, since they just find it funny. Bad weather will make them leave, but that’s a problem for us too, and hardly something we can conjure up on a whim. Though they did seem to dislike the sound of the wind through the observatory when half the windows were left open; that we could probably do on purpose. Not very helpful here, though.”

“What kind of sound was it?” I asked, half an idea forming.

“A very high shriek,” he told me. “Almost too high to hear. The wind did some strange things with those windows.”

“I wonder if you could ward them off with noise,” I said.

“Maybe,” he said, not sounding terribly optimistic. “Like I said, yelling doesn’t help, and that’s loud too.”

Somebody else scrambled through the door, complaining. This guy didn’t even see me, just slamming the door and hurrying forward like he was ready to have words with whoever was in charge here. Maybe he was. More shadows passed over the windows.

“Can I try something?” I asked. “A quick loud noise? I’ll do it outside.”

He looked curious at that. “Go ahead. Just make sure not to startle anyone on the handpaths nearby.”

“Of course,” I said. Then I turned my back on the staring eyes, opened the door, and stepped out to where I could stand up to my full height.

No Tree-grabbers nearby. Perfect. I put two fingers in my mouth and let loose with the most ear-piercing whistle I could muster.

Startled bats changed course in midair, flapping and diving to get away, a cloud of chattering alarm and confusion. Judging by the shadows, some of the ones from above had lifted off as well.

I watched for a moment to see that they kept their distance, then I ducked back inside.

“That seemed to work,” I told Chirp.

Chirp was rubbing his ear. “I’m not surprised. Very loud. How well did it work?”

I waved him outside to take a look for himself. He perked up when he saw how far the Air-grabbers had moved back. “That’s the best result I’ve seen yet! I’m sure some of it might be from the surprise of it all, but even so.”

“You said the wind shriek was almost too high to hear,” I said. “Do you think the Air-grabbers can hear sounds that you can’t quite pick up?” Their ears were bigger, but what did I know?

“Now that,” Chirp said decisively, “Is an idea worth pursuing.”

“So there’s this animal on my planet called a dog,” I said. “And a certain kind of whistle that only they can hear…”

By the time my tour was over, I had a representative of the city very interested in having us deliver some offworld noise-makers that might help them keep the peace.

(The rest of the tour was nice; they had some impressive architecture inside those cactuses, and everyone greeted me politely. I didn’t fall off the side once.)

When I climbed back up the ladder to the landing pad, taking care not to focus on the long drop behind me, I was surprised to find a handful of Air-grabbers perched there in conversation with the captain.

Chirp made a disapproving grunt, but said nothing as we walked over.

“Ah, welcome back!” Captain Sunlight said to me. “It looks like our next visit will involve a delivery of fruit to the other above-ground city in these parts.”

The Air-grabber in front smiled with sharp teeth. “Ours is the best.”

“As you say,” Captain Sunlight agreed politely.

“We will need the items delivered directly to an entrance,” said the Air-grabber. “Not to the high ground. Is that something you can do?”

Chirp muttered something that sounded like “Knew it.”

“I’m sure we can manage that,” Captain Sunlight said. “Our ship has some very stable thrusters, and talented pilots. And, failing that—” She looked at me. “Someone experienced with antigrav belts and high places.”

I chuckled and turned off the safety. “That you do.”

~~~

There's an exciting mini-project coming out next week! Details here!

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[octosan]

I've seen the take that Veilguard's lore handling is the way that it is because it was largely worked on by a team that isn't familiar with Dragon Age, and I... don't know about that.

Like it's kind of funny in retrospect, but

For all the mistakes the Vows and Vengeance podcast made, that show felt more to me like an example of a story trying to incorporate relevant Dragon Age lore, but being written by people who weren't well-versed in it.

They had Tevinter class divide and bureaucratic apathy as a major plot point that affected the main character's life. They had Solas employing middlemen and tricking characters to get some of his work done instead of doing everything himself. They had multiple references to the faiths of the setting, including Davrin referencing worship practices in Dalish culture (they even used the term The Beyond, the Dalish term for the Fade that even Inquisition kind of forgot was a thing even if it was not the Dalish character using it.) They had a cult other than the Venatori as an antagonist at one point. They had an instance of racially charged conflict between Bellara, an elven Veil Jumper, and a Tevinter templar, that originates from the templars looting elven artifacts (something that is implied to happen often.) They at least tried to depict an example of regular Qunari culture in the village in Par Vollen that the protagonists wind up in briefly. They had Lucanis, a Crow, actually carry out an assassination of a non-combatant character. They had multiple demons playing mind games with the characters trying to get their bodies as hosts, in addition to a demon that just rampaged, and even referenced despair demons being ice-coded. They depicted the Fade as a chaotic and emotionally-driven realm, with spirits and demons everywhere--and fittingly Arlathan, a forest with a lot of influence from the Fade, was itself a dangerously chaotic and shifting place. Bellara explains what Veil Jumping entails and actually veil-jumps (and it's accordingly treated like a big deal for the characters). They reference Genitivi and Varric as prominent authors in the world-building. They had grenades. They even brought back the idea of being "Fade touched" with Drayden. They had asfkdksadfgkb HAD A MABARI.

Also the podcast wasn't constantly reassuring you, patting you on the back, and repeating information to you every second so that's nice.

I thought most of the companions came off better here too, with the idea that this is just supposed to be a snapshot of them. I remember enjoying their inclusion the most and trying to speculate what traits and flaws were on display that might get expanded on in the game (for example Emmrich's attitude of trying to "parent" a demon failing spectacularly, or Davrin being depicted as actually taking his clan's faiths seriously despite not being among them anymore.) Taash not realizing they're nonbinary until long after meeting Drayden, who had their own personal issues with their family about their identity, feels like some kind of missed opportunity though (I mean realistically the podcast was just supposed to advertise the game so I know why this is, but still.)

idk if this is a hot take. like imo the podcast wasn't "good" good and again there were clear mistakes in the lore, a lot of the stuff set in Antiva for example, like it was messy. But I had more of a sense that these were people new to the setting but trying than I did with Veilguard.

Idk to me the problem was less that the writers in Veilguard didn't know anything about Dragon Age and more that it was an extremely sanitized and simplified version of the lore, one that couldn't even take into account the world-changing decisions you made in previous games. With a helping of things being shoved under the rug to avoid Discourse. Like it felt more intentional to me, for the most part. And then you have all the visual errors that come from just reusing assets which is an RPG staple at this point (someone pointed out that the Chantry symbols in Minrathous are wrong, for example.)

[seriesxwriting]

Hi! Can I ask for Damon Salvatore and the female reader where Damon follows the female reader because he is jealous like about Elena in episode 7 of season 6 in Withmore Medical Center Fundraiser

Thank you for the request, sorry for the wait I’ve had a lot of these to get through, I hope you enjoy the read <3!!

She’s mine she just doesn’t know it yet

Series: The vampire diaries

Pairing: Damon Salvatore x Female Reader

Summary: Request ❤️

Warnings: kissing, little bit of fighting, erm drinking?

Ring Ring

I walked over to my bed in my towel as I twisted my hair up in another. Damon was ringing. My forehead wrinkled wondering what he wanted, so I reached over and picked it up.

“Hello?” I answered taking a seat now on the bed.

“Ello ello, you alright?” Damon answered, the sounds in the background of his call made it obvious he was driving his car. I laughed at how he’d answered the phone.

“I’m fine, how are you?” I answered back shaking my head a little while smiling too myself.

“I’ll be great in about twenty minutes when I come and pick you up”. He responded without a question in sight. My brows knitted together.

“Damon- I can’t, I’m busy tonight” I told him as I felt my forehead sweat a little. I probably would have preferred hanging out with Damon.

“Busy? Doing what?” He questioned, his tone changing completely.

“I uh- I’ve been invited to a dance outside of town- it’s nothing major just a charity thing” I told him trying to play it down a little.

“A dance? Out of town? By who?” He asked all very quickly. I sighed deeply taking a long breath in.

“A boy i met recently, his name is Liam” I admitted, though I didn’t want to. I didn’t want Damon to get the wrong end of the stick, Liam was lovely but he wasn’t Damon. I just didn’t want him to think it was a date, I didn’t want either of them to think it was a date.

“So you’re going on a date?” He quizzed sounding a little taken back.

“No- I- I don’t know what it is, I’m just going out with a friend for the night” I told him, unsure of how he was going to take it.

“Alright” he eventually said after a few moments of silence.

“I have to go… I have to finish getting ready” I told him with a smile he obviously couldn’t see.

“I’ll see you later, enjoy your night” he told me a little plainly. Anyone could have seen through that.

“Thanks- goodbye” I replied sounding a little defeated myself.

I didn’t want him to find out what I was doing this evening. Especially not like this. He had plans for us, I could only imagine what we were going to get up to. I put my phone back on charge and carried on getting dressed. And tried not to think too much about Damon.

Not so long after, Liam was knocking at my door coming to pick me up. He was in a suit and had a wide smile across his face. “You look- outstanding” he blinked gazing upon me as if I was a god.

“Not too bad you’re self” I giggled coming out of the door and locking it. “I’m excited to spend this time with you” he put his arm out even though we were just going to his car. I gave him a warm smile and took hold of his bicep. “It’ll be fun, plus I love a dance, and for a great cause” I shrugged. Liam chucked and opened my car door for me.

The ride to the dance was quite a long journey, it was at least half an hour forty minutes away. At times the silence was a little awkward but we managed to fill it with laughter. But I think it was mainly my fault. I was only half in the car, the other half of me was still sat on that bed talking to Damon.

When we arrived Liam again put his arm out and we entered the building. The decorations were amazing, there were lights everywhere, a huge display of champagne glasses all stacked up on each other, chandeliers drooping from the ceiling. “It’s gorgeous in here” I gazing completely amazed by all the work put in.

“It gets bigger every year as more people recognise it” Liam told me, but he wasn’t looking at all the details, he was staring at me. I blushed under his eyes and he chucked. “You do look incredible tonight” he told me taking my hand in his. “Such polysyllabic words tonight” I raised an eyebrow trying to brush the compliment under the rug. “What can I say, straight A student” he brush off imagine dust off his shoulder making me laugh.

“Would you like to come meet my parents, they’re over there” he subtly nodding to the side of the room. But when I looked closer I realised that they weren’t alone, they were talking to another man. And that man was none other than Damon Salvatore. What the hell was he doing here- and how he look so handsome in a suit. I was going to need a drink for this.

“Why don’t you grab us some drinks first and then we can head over” I tilted my head pleading him with my eyes so that he couldn’t say no. “Now you’re getting the hang of it” he chucked rubbing my arm before heading off. As I turned around, Damon was standing in front of me. I jumped slightly, my eyes widening. “what the hell are you doing here” I hissed while pitching my eyebrows together.

“Coming to support- childline?” Damon looked around for any signs of what the charity was for. “It’s a disability charity” I shook my head trying to contain my laugh. “How’d you even get in, you weren’t on the list” “I’m a vampire y/n, I don’t need a list” he looked at me like I was stupid and to be fair it was a stupid question. “Well how did you know where I was?” I put my hands on my hips.

“Oh that part was pretty mundane I just tracked your phone” he shrugged his shoulders. I sighed taking a deep breath in not knowing what to do in this situation. “Oh look your dates coming back” his eyes gleamed at the new material as Liam came holding two drinks.

“Hello, I don’t believe I’ve seen you here you must be a new member” Liam smiled completely oblivious to the fact that Damon was about to eat him alive. He passed me my drink of white wine, to which I held my tongue for. “Damon Salvatore, newest member of- the charity” he looked at me side ways and raised his eyes “disability really is hard” “yes, it can make the simplest so difficult, that’s why we work to raise money to help fund an easier life for those who suffer with disability” Liam nodded, he seemed really proud of what he did.

I smelt the white wine as they were talking but decided against taking a sip. Damon saw what was doing and tutted. “You do know, y/n doesn’t like white wine right?” He shook his head condescendingly. “Damon” I whispered in horror. “Oh- I didn’t know- have you two already met?” “Oh me and y/n go way back, don’t we” he smiled a little psychotically.

“We have- mutual friends” I smiled awkwardly at Liam who looked like he wanted to melt into the floor. “Oh come on it’s more than that” Damon rolled his eyes really enjoying this. “What are you doing” I hissed at him dangerously. “So uh did you two come together?” Damon asked Liam turning back to him. “Yeah, y/n is my date” he nodded. I almost choked on the air.

I coughed into my hand as they both stared at me. “We didn’t actually clarify w…” but Damon cut me off. “That’s amazing im so happy for you both, it’s nice to know y/n is with a man who can’t even get her drink right” Damon patted Liam on the chest. “Is there a problem?” Liam stepped a little close to Damon, with a serious face slapped across his own. “You tell me?” Damon chuckled turning to me after “confident this one huh” he wriggled his eyebrows.

“Damon” I whispered begging him not to cause any problems. “You need to leave us alone, or there will be a problem” Liam gritted his teeth together. He put his drink on a near by table as if he was getting ready for a fight. I didn’t know what to do. “You know… Im just not convinced you’re right for her you know? I feel like I’m a good judge of character and- you’re just not cutting it” Damon told him, again being overly condescending.

“Who says you have a right to decide that?” Liam laughed, but I watched as that just pissed Damon off more. “I do” he shoved Liam, not too hard but he still stumbled back a little. With that Liams whole face changed and he swung for Damon. He ducked it not even having to think about it and shoved him again. Just making him more and more angry. Liam tried to punch him again but Damon blocked it and push him a little harder making him fall onto the floor.

“Stop it!” I called out noticing everyone was watching. “Damon outside now!” I pointed to the doors. Liam stood up from the floor and slipped his arm around my waist. Damon scowled at us both before turning around and leaving through the doors. “What a prick” Liam exclaimed once Damon was gone. “I’m gonna go talk to him” I weaved my way out of his arm. “Why? Just let him be he’s gone now” “because I lied- we’re friends- we’re more than that liam we’re close- I need to find out what his problem is”.

Liams eyes looked sad, as if he knew he’d already lost. “Okay” he finally answered taking a step back from me. I gave him a small sympathetic smile, because when it came to Damon I knew Liam always lost too. I fluttered out of the doors and into the cold night. I saw Damon sitting on one of the fences looking up at the night. I wondered over to him coming in front and resting my arms on his knees. “Damon” “I’m sorry” he told me automatically before he even looked at me. He was now. I could see he was sorry.

It was written all over his face. “I am” “I can see that…” I sighed getting a little closer to him. “Why are you sorry” “for coming, I should have just let you enjoy your date and if you picked him then..” he shrugged his shoulders looking back up to the moon. “What- do you mean if I picked him?” I stuttered feeling my throat go dry. “Hm, I suppose that is confusing, I would have had to make myself an option for you to pick him”.

I blinked in disbelief. Is he saying he came here to pick a fight with Liam- because he was jealous? “If you were an option Damon, i wouldn’t be here..” I replied in a small voice. His head turned to mine at the speed of light. “I am an option- maybe not a very good one- I’m a jealous, headstrong, stupid option but- I am one”. I chuckled to myself brushing my thumbs over his knees. “You’re the only option I want” I whispered looking down at the floor.

Damon jumped down from sitting on the fence, yet still towered over me. He lifted my head up with his pointy finger so I was looking into his eyes. “All this time I was jealous of these boys looking at you, talking to you, dating you- and all this time, really you liked me?”. I nodded my head as goosebumps traveled all up my skin under his touch. “Hmm- well we’ve wasted a lot of time then” Damon told me making my laugh.

“We can make up for it” I brushed my hands up his arms feeling his biceps, which were much bigger than Liams. “Might as well start now then” Damon smiled pulling me in for a kiss.

Finally, heaven.

All series masterlist

Masterlist of masterlists

Damon Salvatore masterlist

The vampire diaries masterlist

[blaydie]

Gender neutral reader x Blade

Synopsis: An accident at the accommodation resulted in a late-night stroll to the store. Tensions were high as things grew heated between you and Blade. After resolving your issues, you were met with yet another challenge just before entering the store. He was sure no one would recognise him while he was dressed undercover.

Word count: 1.3k

Contains: Slice of life, subtle displays of affection, Blade in casual attire, gender neutral reader, fluff.

Duty calls. Except, it wasn’t duty at all. It was an evening stroll to the store to stock up on food supplies after a kitchen incident. Burnt food. A completely wrecked pan too. You were guilty as charged for destroying the pan, but he was the one who forgot it was on the stove in the first place. 

By your side was Blade, his appearance concealed from head to toe: a black beanie, sunglasses, surgical mask, and a matching black outfit to go. If you weren’t handed money before heading out of the door, you would question whether you were sourcing these items ethically with his mysterious appearance or if you were robbing the building. 

It was tense. His strides were far too long for you to keep up, trailing behind greatly while he effortlessly walked ahead. Though he claimed he wasn’t upset, it was clear he was throwing some form of tantrum. The two of you had been screaming at one another in the kitchen, managing to alert the rest of the Stellaron Hunters who were present.

“Can you slow down?” You call out, though he doesn’t pause. He turns his head to address you. 

“Perhaps you should train more.”

“You’re ridiculous. If you learned how to properly tend to a stove we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Who in the right mind puts a hot pan directly into cold water?”

“I was panicking.” You mumble, not expecting him to hear it over the strong gusts of wind.

“You were panicking? I was the one who had to put the fire out while you stood there, doing nothing, yelling down my ear.”

With a displeased grunt, he slows his pace down and waits for you to reach his side. There would be no point in forming an active rivalry with someone he is forced to work with and live alongside. If life wasn’t already some form of misery, dealing with that would be the deciding factor testing whatever remains of his patience. 

Blade doesn’t hate you. He’s mostly indifferent to the people around him. There are times when he appears more distant than others, but he’s mostly pleasant company on rare occasions. 

“Would you like to walk around the pier before we head back?”

“Why?” Blade stares down at you, a lock from his bangs escaping the beanie as his head tilts.

“You like it there, don’t you?”

“Sometimes. We’ll see what time it is when we’re done.”

“You look so different like this.” Stringing the conversation along, you attempt to distract him from the previous heated scene.

“What?”

“Casual. It’s strangely off-putting.”

“Do you think I sleep in a suit?” Blade scoffed. He wasn’t offended, simply baffled by how idiotic you make yourself sound on occasion.

“I wouldn’t put it far past you.”

“Do you say the same thing to the others?”

His question was met with silence. Amused by your unspoken answer, he snickers. 

“I see how it is.” He added, returning his vision to the road ahead.

“It’s nothing personal. When I first met you, I got the impression that you were overly formal, even in your downtime.”

“That means I was doing my job right.”

“I suppose. You’re not as bad as I thought you were.” While it’s true you struggled to bond with him at first, you feel yourself becoming more comfortable by his side as days go by.

“You’re bearable.”

“I’ll take your compliment as a sign our argument is officially concluding.” Leaning over, you press your head against him before he nudges you away, a humorous huff of air exerting from his nose. 

Now in the main streets of the city, the amount of civilians and the volume of surrounding areas drastically increases. Crowds were bustling around street food stalls and vendors were flagging over customers from afar, children innocently playing in the fountains which sprayed out from the floor while their parents watched on nearby benches. 

Despite it being overwhelming, you found an odd sense of peace while being in this area. Blade kept his head low and made sure you remained close to his side. Losing you amongst the crowds would only prolong the outing for much longer than necessary. 

As you drew closer to the store you usually go to, you felt an odd amount of eyes on you. Getting glances in public was something you had grown accustomed to, but this was far more than a handful. Blade didn’t seem to notice, continuing his saunter to get things over with.

Just before you reach the storefront, the squeals of young girls echo out from behind. Footsteps rapidly charged, their words becoming registered as they inched closer.

“Is it really him?! Are you sure?!” One of them exclaims, clearly eager to grab a glance. 

“It is! It looks just like him!”

“Get your camera out!”

Storming in front of you and blocking your path is a group of youthful girls, the smiles on their faces wide as they gaze in awe at Blade who stands puzzled in front of them.

“Ah, I can’t believe it! I loved you in the new drama! May I please have your autograph?”

“You did so well! When is your next movie going to be out? We saw the film set on social media!” Another says, gawking as though he was the first man she had ever laid eyes on.

“My next movie?” Blade furrows his brows, glancing back at you with a frantic sense of horror in his eyes.

“How to Steal a Heart! The romcom!”

“Please sign my notebook! Can you write my name and a note too?”

“Give him a moment. He’s still growing used to fan interaction.” You interject the girls who were waddling closer, stretching your arm as a makeshift barrier.

“Okay, thank you, manager! You’re so lucky. I would love to have your job!”

“I have a pen if you need one!”

While they continue to gush, you pull Blade aside, his cheeks bearing a pink tinge from embarrassment. Initially, you had thought your cover had been blown. It had, but not in the way either of you were expecting.

“Are you alright?”

“Who do they think I am?” Judging by the tone, you can tell he was overwhelmed. It was sudden—you feel the pressure too.

“There’s a movie out now in cinemas with the debut of a new actor. He had quite a large social media presence which landed him the role.”

“I’d rather the guards have caught us.”

“Are you going to sign their books?”

“I’m not the person they think I am!”

“If you don’t, it’ll cause more of a scene. They’ll start to question who you are. We don’t need any more attention on us.”

“Nothing I have done could amount to me deserving this. Why does this never happen to anyone else?”

“Enough of the self-pity. This is what his signature looks like; do your best to replicate it.”

Analysing the unique features of this man’s handwriting, Blade grunts and turns back to the girls who were eagerly waiting for him. Reaching forward, he takes the pen and begins scribbling on the notebooks handed, quickly getting them out of the way. Just when he thought he was done, the girl who asked for a photo tugged him by the arm and raised her phone.

“Can we do the heart pose with our hands? I do one half and you do the other!”

“…” Blade stares at you, the nod of your head giving him the answer he needs. “Fine.”

It was a sight to see. With a few more flashes of the camera, he was finally free, the girls scurrying away when they were content with what they had forged from him. In one swift movement, he snatched you by the forearm and dragged you inside.

Speeding through the aisles, Blade gathered everything necessary and dumped it in the basket while you checked out at self-service. When all items are bagged, you make your way outside and are instantly directed on a different route. The area became quiet; you and Blade seemed to be alone on this narrow path. After a few more minutes of following the desolate road, the sparkling lights of the pier finally come into view.

“So, when can I get your autograph?” You tease, shooting him a glance as he takes his sunglasses off.

In a sudden motion, he takes your wrist and grips it firmly in his gloved hand. Using the tip of his index finger, he traces the letters of his name onto your palm, invisibly engraving himself on your skin.

“I don’t believe I need any more fans this evening. We have to head back soon.” Even though he carried the same monotone voice, it seemed softer than usual. This was his time to relax after enduring an excessive amount of unnecessary stress this evening. Having you by his side wasn’t so bad after all. What would he have done without you?

[rosiesdisneydrama]

Some Random World Building for GF x SKY

I wanted to draw something for the new year, but I have no spoons for drawing right now. So, instead, I'll drop some world notes on the GF x Sky AU. Hope you all enjoy it.

If anyone wants to ask about stuff for this AU, PLEASE DO. I love getting asked about my aus!

~ The Mystery Shack features displays of the various animals/creatures from Sky! With only a few cryptids from around GF making appearances to round things out. (They get cycled depending on the season.)

A lot of the Sky creatures’ names are a mix of their official and fan names or have an extra suffix added to show that they’re not just regular animals. (Ex. Calling the Mantas “Light Mantas” and their starry versions “Cosmic Mantas.”)

He did that because they were all familiar enough to him that he could make something that Ford could have potentially made for it. While also all being magical/strange enough that he could get away with making stuff about them that would interest tourists and locals enough to pay Ford’s bills.

They’re all real creatures in this universe too, they just live in the Realms of Sky which is really hard to get to without the help of a Sky Kid or a Sky Spirit. So Ford’s never seen them before during his travels because he hasn’t had that access ticket to get there. When he sees Stan’s exhibits, he just assumes they’re totally made up because it’s his sibling who’s the one talking about them.

Then he sees something that makes him realize that maybe, just maybe, there’s more to his brother than he realized.

~ Stanley is seen as the “Cool” old man by the town youths because he’s so… Different from everyone else. He’s in his late 50s/early sixties but he’s got half his head shaved, is covered in tattoos, and completely chill about them just hanging out. (He does charge for any snacks they don’t bring with them though.)

And, when they ask for it, he gives them genuine advice if they ask him about getting their heads shaved or getting tattoos. Even piercings, despite not having any himself. He tells them things they ought to know about doing those themselves.

What the best/safest way to do them is, how they need to be cared for over time, what they should do to avoid infections, and more.

And he takes them seriously.

He doesn’t shrug off their questions or their thoughts/opinions. He listens to things they’re going to him for help/advice. And it’s been that way for years! There are more than a few adults who went to him for advice as teens and now they advise others to do the same.

He’s also openly part of the Queer community. Not a “scream it from the rooftops” type, but he doesn’t hide that he likes all genders and doesn’t fully identify as a man himself. (He just knows that everyone is attractive and he’s not a chick. But that’s about it.)

He doesn’t know all the terms and flags but is actually very happy to help people figure themselves out.

(He may have been the one who helped get the two officers of GF together. Just made a comment about how nice their relationship was without knowing they weren’t actually an Item. They promptly had their “Wait you can DO that?!” freak out and he awkwardly excuses himself to let them talk it out.)

~ Stan remembered being the Cackling Cannoneer due to Traumatic Events. (Near-drowning experience.) And while he's happier to have memories of that life to help him in his current one, he really wished that wasn't how it had all come back to him.

There are days where he misses being in the Sky Realms and the people he knew there, but he tries to not let himself linger on those feelings for too long.

But what he has been enjoying is relearning and experimenting with the magic (gestures, spells, and so on). Most of them are harmless or have purely cosmetic effects, a few he used to lock up places so that people can't get in, but there are a few that he's figured out (or even made) that have proved very useful for getting out of tight spots. Especially in the woods around Gravity Falls.

He's made a book that he keeps hidden in the basement that has his "confirmed" notes on Sky Magic. It's a mix of a reminder book and a "Notes for Teaching Someone Else If I Have To" book.

[immortalbumblebee]

BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZO BENZOBENZOBENZOBENZOBENZOBENZOBENZOBENZOBENZOBENZOBENZOBENZO

BENZO

Damn, I don't wanna rush to conclusions...but I think this person wants some Benzo content.

Fine by me, Lads. *cracks knuckles*

Trinkets, Bobbles, and Meet-Cutes

Masterlist

Benzo’s shop smelled of metal, oil, and faintly of spices—a mixture of his odd inventory and the incense he liked to burn when the air got too stale. As he adjusted the display of tools and shinies, his ears perked when the bell above the door jingled.

“Be right with ya,” he called out without looking up, brushing dust off his hands.

“I’ll wait,” came a voice from the door, smooth.

Benzo turned, only to feel the air in the shop shift. You stood there, framed by the doorway, dressed in an array of shining trinkets and baubles. Rings glittered on your fingers, bracelets adorned your wrists, and even your hair shimmered with delicate pins. The necklace resting at your collarbone caught the light just enough to make it impossible to ignore.

Benzo only gazed at you for a moment, goblin brain already piqued with interest as his eyes trailed back to his work. "Yu always dress like a magpie come to life, or am I just lucky?"

You smirked, stepping further in. The door shut with another jingle behind you, almost announcing your arrival into his life. “Depends. You always greet your customers with bird analogies, or am I just lucky?”

He chuckled, leaning his elbows on the counter. “I call it like I see it. What brings you here, shiny one?”

“Business,” you replied, voice hardening as you ran a hand along the counter, approaching slowly but with confidence in your step, “I heard you’re the guy to talk to if you need quality and discretion.”

“Might be,” Benzo said, watching you with open curiosity. “Question is, what’s your kind of business?”

“Oh, you know,” you said airily, calloused finger lightly touching a display of glass crystals he had on hand. “A little trading here, a little selling there. I’ve got a collection you wouldn’t believe. But,” you added, tilting your head, “it’s always fun to see what someone else has to offer.”

"I don't show inventory to competition." He said, suddenly cautious, but your lips only slid into a smirk.

"We're on totally different leagues, old man."

Benzo’s gaze flicked to your jewelry again, lingering for a second too long before he caught himself. “You wear half your collection or just the highlights?”

The banter flowed easily after that, a verbal dance that had both of you grinning. Benzo’s sharp wit met your charm head-on, each playful jab and retort building a rhythm of chemistry between you.

Eventually, the talk shifted to trade. You leaned casually on the counter, one hand adjusting his bracelet while the other gestured to the tools behind him. “I’m after a Valdianie. And maybe that lockpicking set I see over there.”

“Ambitious,” Benzo said, scratching his chin. “You’ve got expensive taste.”

“Don’t I?” you replied, your grin widening. “But you’ve got a soft spot for people who can appreciate good craftsmanship, don’t you?”

“Flattery won’t get you a discount,” he warned, though the corner of his mouth twitched upward.

“No,” you said, tilting your head, “but it might make you reconsider charging me triple.”

What followed was a haggling session so layered with innuendo and flirtation that it felt less like a negotiation and more like a game. You pushed, he pushed back, and all the while, there was a spark of something more simmering under the surface.

By the end, Benzo leaned back, shaking his head with a laugh. “You’re a menace, you know that?”

“Maybe,” you said, pocketing the lockpicks and slipping the wrench into your bag. “But I got what I wanted, didn’t I?”

“At a price that’s robbery,” he muttered, though his tone lacked any real heat.

“Come on,” you said with a wink. “You enjoyed every second of it.”

Benzo watched as you sauntered toward the door, the jingling of your bracelets and the sway of your step leaving an impression he couldn’t shake.

“Hey,” he called after you.

You paused, glancing back.

“Don’t be a stranger,” he said, smirking. “I might not survive the next round, but it’d be worth it.”

You grinned, tapping one of your rings with a playful flourish. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Benzo.”

The bell above the door jingled as you left, leaving Benzo standing there with a grin he couldn’t quite suppress.

And he wasn’t even mad about the price.

[decks-writing-blog]

Whatever the Fuck Benrey is: Chapter Nine: Can't Hurt

Chapter One

Previous Chapter

~

Benrey read whatever he could find online, searching specifically for weird and interesting stuff, until Gordon fell asleep on the other end, his soft snoring coming through the phone. He then read a little more just in case. Gordon had sounded awfully shaken after all. A not unfamiliar quality to his voice, he’d been that shaken or worse during much of their trip through Black Mesa together, but… Benrey now knew how fragile he was. And he’d decided Gordon was his pet so it was his responsibility to make it better.

Eventually he had to call it good enough though as he didn’t know when the hotel manager was likely to return and he needed to be gone before then. So he closed the web browser and shut the computer down, making sure to turn the monitor off as well.

“’Kay, uh, gotta get off the computer now before I get caught. I’ll call you later or text… I don’t know, whatever I feel like. Doesn’t really matter ‘cause you can’t hear me anyway. Bye.” He hung up and started back for his room.

~

He waited until the sun was fully up before pulling his phone off charge again. Gordon hadn’t texted. Not surprising, he’d have heard the ping but he was starting to get restless. Playing games was great and all but… no multiplayer games or anyone to chat with while playing was less fun. Something else to do again for a little while would be welcome.

‘awake yet?’ he sent to Gordon.

He stared at he screen for five minutes before giving up; apparently the answer was ‘no’. Maybe a good thing… unless Gordon was having another nightmare. Perhaps Benrey should’ve gone back with him. He’d thought about it but during the first trip nothing dangerous had happened and then on the car ride back, all the nosy, annoying, bothersome questions had convinced him not to. But if Gordon’s mind was an enemy… it couldn’t kill him though, could it? So it was probably fine.

Pocketing the phone, Benrey turned his attention to the window. Lifting the closed curtains, he stepped under them so he could look out and see if anyone was around. … No one seemed to be so he grabbed his new camera before walking through the wall, putting him out back behind the hotel.

It was warmer out here already, the pleasant desert heat starting to set in. He’d never given his enjoyment of warmth and heat much thought, they just felt nice, but perhaps Gordon was correct and he was cold-blooded; didn’t produce much heat of his own. Did that matter? … No, but it was kind of interesting.

Shaking off that thought, he started making his way around to the front of the building so he could follow the sidewalk. It would perhaps lead to somewhere interesting, right? Upon reaching it, he slowed his pace a little. He had nowhere to be, nothing to do, and no one coming to bring him back to the Black Mesa facility.

He fiddled with the camera, turning it on. Gordon had called it cheap when getting it for him but it was far from a shitty disposable one. It had digital display, making it feel fancy to Benrey. As he walked along he snapped a photo of anything that caught his eye. Roadkill, the way the sunlight glistened off the jagged edges of a broken window, what at first look like more roadkill but upon zooming in was actually just an old boot that had been run over a few times, and other such things. A lot of it wasn’t really that interesting but he’d never been in Tuefort unsupervised for more an hour or two before.

People passed him, going both ways. The sidewalks were bare enough that his slow pace didn’t bother anyone enough to bump him or tell him to go faster. No one paid any attention to him whatsoever. If he tried to talk to any of them, they’d brush him off, say they were too busy. He’d need a cop uniform if he wanted anyone to heed him. … Gordon had stressed he not cause problems though and borrowing a cop uniform to join their ranks, even for a little while, would undoubtedly cause some. Especially since cops were a lot like the military, right? They liked to shoot things. Getting shot if he got caught trying to sneak in would likely call attention because of the whole healing, not human thing – which Gordon would probably classify as a problem – and he was expressly forbidden from shooting back if he could even get a gun.

What if he did it anyway though? Or if he was breaking the rules, what if he did something properly fun? Like steal a car. He’d never driven in real life before but he could probably figure it out. A car chase with the police had to be even more fun if it was real, right? Not that something being fun in a video game necessarily made it fun in real life but it sure seemed like the kind of thing that would be.

There was car parked on the side of the road ahead. An old rusted blue pickup truck that if video games were anything to go by would probably be pretty slow and clunky to handle. So not exactly the fastest chase but for a first time might be good. He slowed to a stop as he reached it. It was empty, its owner nowhere in immediate evidence

Normally, he’d have just phased through the door and tried to figure out how to steal it from there. It seemed as if it might be fun so why not go for it? But if he did, Gordon would be mad. Not that making him mad was a big issue or anything but… it would mean no PS3 for sure. And Gordon might start hating him again. Not a huge deal but he was just starting to like Benrey and ruining that would be lame.

Also, Gordon might do more than just start hating him again. He might change his mind about keeping him secret from the rest of the scientists. Some or all of whom might decide to try to get Benrey back into Black Mesa’s custody, Gordon may even assist them in such an endeavor. With a car, Benrey could theoretically escape and evade any such attempt much easier than on foot. He could drive out of Tuefort and go anywhere in the world; lose them so thoroughly they had no hope of ever catching up. But that would mean no more Gordon or Tommy or the rest of the Science Team unless they came with him. Tommy was the only one who might and that was a big ‘might’. Probably he’d be alone, possibly for a long time. No one to play games with if he ever did get a console and TV of his own somehow.

And so, he lifted the camera and snapped a photo of the truck before turning away and resuming walking down the sidewalk. Following the rules wasn’t all bad anyway. He was always telling Gordon to follow them, mostly just for fun now that he wasn’t a security guard anymore. So Gordon doing the same to him was justified.

As if blessed by resisting the urge to stop behaving, his phone pinged in his pocket. Putting his camera away, he pulled it out instead. Gordon had responded. ‘I am now. Good morning.’

Not wanting to attempt texting and walking – he’d seen people on TV doing so walk into poles a few too many times to risk such an embarrassment himself – he continued walking until he found a bench he could sit on while he typed out his reply. ‘not gonna ask if im still behaving’

‘No. I trust you. Don’t betray that trust or no PS3 for you.’

Benrey had made the right choice for sure; Gordon trusted him now. Neat! ‘sleep well no more nightmares?’

‘None that I remember.’ Not a ‘no’ though or any kind of confirmation that the rest of his night had been good. ‘Thanks for last night. I appreciate it. Do you think we could have a phone call before I go to sleep tonight?’

‘sure’

‘Thanks. Talk to you then. I need to go eat breakfast.’

Well, now Benrey had something interesting to do later. Not until tonight though. … Bubby was supposed to come back to Tuefort today, right? Benrey closed his text chat with Gordon and scrolled until he found Bubby’s number.

‘hang out when u get back to 2fort play games maybe?’

It was only a few seconds before the answer came. ‘No’

Seems getting back on Gordon’s good side didn’t mean he was back on everyone’s. Not surprising but still…‘:(’ He put his phone away and resumed walking.

Not even five minutes went by before his phone buzzed again. It was Bubby. ‘Fine. We can hang out. I got nothing better to do anyway.’

‘sweet text me when u get here’

***

With the half the survivors off on their rescue mission deeper into the facility and a few more dropped off at the hospital, there were only a few of them left to begin the salvaging of resources, research documents, experiments, computers – even the damaged ones, as long as the hard drive was intact or other parts that could be sold or reused elsewhere – and anything worth taking in general. A small enough number that even Breen was all but forced to bodily help as well. Gordon’s single hand gave him the perfect excuse to drift between assisting Dr. Coomer and Tommy instead of going off on his own like everyone else was doing.

Most of the work involved breaking into the living spaces not marked as belonging to any of the known survivors. They were looking for bits of experiments brought home, research papers, or anything else related to the work done by the scientists of Black Mesa. A lot of scientific advancement had taken place here, some of it with the potential to be pretty big, anything that could be salvaged would likely be worth the effort. At Gordon’s suggestion, they were also collecting personal artifacts to send to families who’d lost loved ones. Which added a whole new layer of work; putting things into boxes marked with the appropriate person’s name.

Naturally, going into unexplored rooms revealed more bodies. Well into the process of liquefying, some were genuinely hard to tell if they were human or alien. After last night’s nightmare, that was even more unsettling than it otherwise would’ve been. Gordon used his missing hand as an excuse to not be the one to drag them to new body pile in the center area to be burned once they were all done here. That left him to search those rooms alone and sadly, the smell didn’t leave with the body. Somehow, he managed to not vomit until the third such room.

By the time his body gave on heaving his guts up, allowing him to straighten, darkness danced at the edges of his vision. He swayed as he left the corner and stumbled out of the room. The smell seemed to follow him, closing the door helped only a little. With a groan he leaned his back against the wall next to and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. Surely a break was warranted.

He pulled out his phone and pushed it open. ‘Hey.’ he texted Benrey because he hadn’t closed their chat.

‘yo’ came the answer a short time later.

‘What you up to?’

‘hanging with bubby u?’

Perhaps Gordon should be worried about that given what happened the last time Benrey and Bubby got buddy-buddy. But he’d moved past that with Bubby a while ago now and seemingly Benrey now too somehow. ‘Taking a break.’ He wanted to talk more but what could he say to continue the conversation? And Benrey had just confessed to being busy hanging out with Bubby so all he added before hitting ‘send’ was, ‘Don’t have much time though. Talk to you later.’

‘k’

Gordon was sort of starting to not be bothered by how bad his texting was. Enough so that reading back over their prior conversations was somewhat comforting. Not as much as more conversation would’ve been but enough to keep him sane until Dr. Coomer announced his return with a classic, “Hello Gordon!”

Putting his phone away, Gordon looked up at him. “Hello Dr. Coomer.”

“Did you find anything in the room while I was disposing of the corpse?” His voice was chipper as always… or not always, but most of the time. Was he really chipper or was it something else making him speak like that? Some kind of speech impediment that effected his tone? He definitely had some kind of speech something going on so… maybe. Regardless he certainly didn’t seem bothered.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Not lose your mind.”

“Well, it helps that my mind is in my brain which is inside my steal-plated skull.” He tapped the side of his head. “That makes it quite hard to lose. Have you lost yours? I could help you find it. What does it look like?”

Seemingly Gordon had indeed lost his mind because it had been his idea to come back here to help any survivors they could and he’d volunteered to help with this too. Why had he done that? He could’ve just let it be, not come back to help anyone because he was already out. Surely he couldn’t have been blamed for such; he owed no one any more than he’d already given. But here he was… and he was about to get up and continue, wasn’t he? The research was important but more than that was taking care of the bodies. Burning them in a big heap wasn’t the best funeral but it was far better than letting them continue to rot alone. And their loved ones deserved closure in the form of whatever could be gotten to them alongside the news. Breen hadn’t been planning to do the latter until Gordon had pressed him to, making Gordon’s presence valuable.

And so with a heavy sigh, he stood. “Nah, I’m sure my mind will turn up on its own eventually. For now, let’s go back in here and finish searching it for stuff.” Before Dr. Coomer could answer, he turned and headed back in.

~

Despite their plans and best efforts, they were unable to finish going through the whole living area in a single day. Gordon could perhaps still leave on the morrow, let the rest of them to finish the job. Tempting but he should at least finish making sure people who’d lost loved ones would be getting what they could of said loved one’s possessions. It was the only thing left he could do.

And so after exchanging greetings during the promise pre-bed phone call with Benrey… “Also, I’m probably gonna be staying another day.”

“Why?”

“Gotta finish with this area then most of us are heading back to town. Except for Breen,” at Gordon’s suggestion because he was the head of Black Mesa and thus should stick around until everyone else was out, “and a few others waiting for the rescue team.” After that would come the long arduous process of sending teams down to save what all they could to bring back from the other areas of the facility since it’d be a long time before it was operational again and some of it would be needed at wherever their temporary setup ended up being. Not to mention, hiring the people to even start fixing it couldn’t start until as much of the top secret stuff was removed as possible.

“Lame.”

Lifting his coffee half way to his lips, Gordon paused to look down on the phone, currently on speaker and resting on the couch’s armrest. It was a bit precarious with how close to the edge it had to be to allow the charging cable to reach it but as long as he was careful not to bump it, it should be fine. “Why’s that lame?” He hadn’t expected Benrey to care much.

“It’s boring and your rules are dumb, making it more boring.”

“You got plenty of video games though.”

“Yeah, no online games though and no one to play with. Bubby’s worse at Melee than you and you only got one hand. He doesn’t even like it, said it wasn’t ‘very fun’ don’t know what I see in it.”

“Well… sorry. I’m sure you’ll survive though.”

“Barely.”

“Just uh… continue to behave, please.”

“I will, I will… only ‘cause you promised to buy me a PS3 though so you better keep your promise.”

“Well, when I do head back, Breen’s lending me the company card to rent a space to store all the stuff we’ve already recovered and to rent a building to start setting the lab up in if I can find a good one. And uh… we’re kinda owed something nice, right?”

“Ooh, naughty. Gonna steal some money, huh? I could report you for that. But uh… I ain’t a security guard anymore so… I guess I can look the other way. Just once, only ‘cause I want it real bad.”

“It ain’t stealing. He’s lending me the card and I’m like basically second in command of the company now anyway. I’m calling multiple shots on this salvage operation so… I probably won’t do it but it’s a fun thought, huh?”

“Boo! Lame. Gordon Goody-two-shoes-man over here being a big loser. I finally let you steal something and you chicken out.”

Gordon chuckled hard enough to almost spill his coffee. He had to lean forward and put it back on the coffee table in front of him. “Don’t worry, man, I’ll still get you a PS3, soon as I can, I promise. Gotta worry about getting a more permanent place to stay first though which is gonna be expensive because … duh. But soon as I get back, I’ll play more Melee with you or whatever you wanna play, ‘kay?” That actually sounded like a good time.

“Yeah, ‘kay.”

“Now, uh, in the meantime…” He paused to retrieve his coffee cup, giving him a bit more time to figure out how to word this. He hadn’t given it as much thought as he should’ve before calling. Benrey had given him a good opening angle though. “You said that uh… you like playing games with people. Obviously we can’t over the phone but maybe uh… you play something and talk to me while you do, read the text and stuff, maybe talk to me about it a bit? It wouldn’t exactly be hanging out, watching you play something, but it’d still be less lonely, right?” And more importantly would keep him on the phone with Gordon for potentially a long time, hopefully even all night, if he was willing.

“Don’t you gotta go to sleep soon?”

“Nah, skipping a night of sleep won’t hurt.” Or at least not as much as the nightmares he’d likely have should he attempt to sleep. He’d spent the day rooting through dead people’s stuff and occasionally coming across the dead people themselves, after last night’s nightmare, that was bound to make getting good sleep impossible. So really, not trying to sleep was likely to be more restful in the end.

“Really? You sure? ‘Cause uh… don’t humans sleep every night?”

“Usually, yeah but only because not doing so makes us kinda tired. One night isn’t a big deal though so since you’re like… bored and lonely, hanging out over the phone should help, right?”

“Oh, okay.” Benrey, as expected, didn’t need much convincing. And staying up apparently wouldn’t do him any harm either, making it a win-win. Having a non-human friend was fantastic. “I haven’t started Wind Waker yet so I’ll do that one.”

“Sounds good.” Gordon finally took a sip of his coffee. Brewed as strong as he could bear it, he winced a little at the taste but he’d likely get used to it long before the night was through because it was going to be a long one. Benrey should help make it bearable though.

~

Doing the same stuff as the day prior but this time after a night of no sleep was both harder in some ways and easier in others. Harder in all the ways staying up all night made everything harder; trouble focusing, mild headache, general overall ucky lethargic feeling. Easier in that, emotions and thoughts dulled by exhaustion were harder to stir into despair even upon discovering another forgotten body behind a locked door.

Even when it got up to start shambling towards him he didn’t feel as bothered as he should. Instead he raised his gun hand and riddled it and the headcrab controlling it full of holes. His gun hand wasn’t as loud as normal guns but that didn’t mean it wasn’t loud.

“Wow, that uh… woke me up a bit, I think,” he said over the ringing in his ears as he watched the headcrab zombie fall.

“Fine shooting, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer said, patting him on the shoulder before stepping forward to bend down and grab the corpse’s wrist. “I will drag this to the corpse pile now while you continue our search.”

“’Kay, see you in a bit.” The adrenaline had been the exact thing he needed. He was doing just fine.

They finally finished a few hours after lunch, just a bit too late in the day to justify going back to Tuefort today. Instead Gordon sat down with the rest of the group again. While they all set to chatting, he folded his arms into a pillow for his head on the table in front of him. Surely a quick nap while everyone’s conversation floated over him would be fine. If the nap lasted long enough maybe he wouldn’t even need to go to bed proper tonight… wouldn’t that be nice?

~

Gordon woke with a jolt, his heart racing, his breath fast. Despite that, the dream was already starting to fade from his mind, leaving nothing clear in his memory other than that his dreams had conjured the mass of rotting flesh again. He could almost still smell it even now… no not almost, could.

The headcrab zombie he’d killed had been close enough that some of its gore had splashed on him when he’d shot it. Tired, he hadn’t changed his clothes, especially since a shower wasn’t available; this part of the facility had run out of reserve water yesterday. There wasn’t enough to be overpowering but it did make his stomach churn with nausea.

Shaking his head, he reached over to the nightstand, fumbling along it until he found his glasses. The clock read 11:35pm. Dr. Coomer must’ve brought him to bed, either immediately or once bed time rolled around. His nap had lasted a while. … It didn’t leave him well rested by any means, especially since he’d still had nightmare but it had helped a little anyway.

With a groan he dragged himself out of bed and over to the light switch so he could see well enough to change clothes into something that didn’t have the smell of death clinging to it. Once done, as was becoming habit – whether good or bad was hard to tell – he checked his phone. Benrey had texted several times since their last exchange.

‘yo want to do another call before bed?’ ‘u good?’ ‘tomy said u fell asleep at table wierd place to fall asleep but ok’ Each was about an hour apart, according to their time stamps.

Having been off charge all day, the battery was running low so Gordon wondered back out the living room area to retrieve the charger, bringing it back to his room to plug in while he sat down on the bed to reply. ‘Yeah, exhausting work so took a nap, lasted longer than I thought.’ Should he apologize for worrying Benrey. That’s the vibe he’d got from the texts but… it was hard to tell for sure with just words on a screen. Much more likely, Benrey was bored and thus looking to converse to pass the time. Probably best not to assume anything. ‘You keeping yourself entertained?’

Perhaps lending credence to the idea that Benrey had been worried by Gordon’s lack of response, his reply came swift. ‘sort of im bored call?’ He was saying he was bored though so probably just that. There was no reason he should care enough to be worried.

As Benrey had done to him, instead of responding, Gordon pushed the keyboard back in place, allowing him to call. The charging cable meant that he had to keep it on speaker as it couldn’t reach to his face comfortably but he’d likely have to set it so eventually away like he’d done before.

“How often do you need to sleep anyway?” he asked as soon as Benrey picked up. How many nights in a row could he depend on Benrey to keep him company while everyone else was asleep?

“Uh… like once a week or every other week if I’m really not in the mood. Humans gotta sleep more than that, right?”

“Yeah, we gotta sleep uh… most nights, missing a night here or there is fine though, not an issue at all.” And he didn’t need to mention the whole eight to nine hours thing. Not that Benrey would care but if he told Tommy or Dr. Coomer that Gordon was intentionally not sleeping as much as was recommended, they might try to bother him about it. And then he’d have to explain he wouldn’t be able to sleep well anyway so might as well try to avoid the nightmares via not sleeping until the was too exhausted for them. … Or maybe they wouldn’t care either. Gordon was the only normal human in the group, the weakest among them by far. Why would any of them care about how fragile he was?

“But uh…” he continued before the pause could carry on for too long, “that means, the other night, when you were here and joined me in bed you, um, didn’t need to, right? You just… wanted to?”

“Yeah, bro, you’re warm, it’s nice. Won’t happen again.”

“Nah, it’s fine, you can… I mean, uh… it was nice. So you know, if um… again wouldn’t be bad if you wanted to and… stuff. Only if you want to though… or um… uh…” He shouldn’t have brought it up but if Benrey were physically here right now it would’ve been really fucking nice. So it was probably a good thing he wasn’t because Gordon’s desperate loneliness was pathetic and he really needed to get over it. Especially if it was making the thought of cuddling Benrey of all people sound appealing. Not that it had been bad, just he shouldn’t want to do it again. But could he really be blamed whilst in Black Mesa, the source of his nightmares? Once out, surely it would be better.

“Uh… maybe. Let’s talk ‘bout something else, huh?”

“Yeah, good idea.” Anything would do as long as he wasn’t alone in this horrid little room. He’d go back to Tuefort tomorrow, in the same car as Tommy or Dr. Coomer, didn’t matter which, and then things would go back to being good.

Next Chapter

[mxtxfanatic]

That was a pretty fair tangent, actually! English isn't my first language, and I figured that the word "dehumanization" would fit since, according to google, it is "depriving a person or group of positive human qualities". I am aware that it has been used mostly to justify terrible things, but I figured that just using this broad definition would make sense. Dehumanization as in taking bad people and demonizing them so much, ignoring the fact that there even is one thing about them that's not cartoonishly evil, they're not even seen as human anymore, you know what I mean?

However, you are right that how I used it may appear to be insensitive. Especially considering that the group of people actually being dehumanized in mdzs is the Wens, all of them, including the victims of the cultivation world that feels justified in their hunting down of them. It was just the most obvious word to explain how I felt about this trend.

And you are right, It's not like we're all a trigger away to mass murder, I guess that, in my frustration, I used too much exaggerations. What I mean is that this mindset of taking for granted that the people that do bad things are inherently bad and evil, and that because you know you're not, you won't ever do bad things is not only naive, but actively harmful to the concept of self reflection and growth, you know what I mean?

It fosters a sense of stagnation that I despise more than anything.

I know what you mean, and tbf it wasn’t your response that annoyed me, or really even anything I’m seeing in fandom atm, it was just a good opportunity to talk about it and how I feel about that usage. Really feeling the “not my first language” bit though cause I’m going through the same thing with Spanish now and dictionaries are really not your friend when it comes to nuances and applications of words 😭

I see what you’re saying about how people who view themselves as “inherently good” demonize “bad behavior” to dissociate themself from the possibility that they, too, can do bad things, but this is exactly the material issue of dehumanization I was talking about. A person who thinks they are inherently good is not dehumanizing someone else because they think the person’s “evil actions” make them bad but because they have already decided that that “type” of person is inherently evil by birth and/or status and their actions prove they are inherently evil. Still using mdzs as an example, the cultivation world think they are inherently good because of their birth (clan-focused sects), therefore doing things like mass murdering refugees and turning the other way on a known serial rapist is acceptable, even though those actions based on their own stated morality are wrong. On the other hand, Wei Wuxian is inherently evil, inherently in the wrong not because his actions are bad or his morals skewed but because the cultivation world has decided that Wei Wuxian as a “servant’s son” (status), he is not allowed to question or overshadow them. Thus, the dehumanization that Wei Wuxian faces is not an accident or a product of ignorance, it is an intentional wielding of power specifically being used to oppress him, justifying their eventual murder of him and his charges. The cultivation world, itself, is never in danger of this same dehumanization because even as they fully display their corruption and depravity, they hold all the power.

So the real issue becomes: do people who think they are incapable of harm actually believe that, or are they building a case to mask their material harm against someone else they’ve predetermined as undeserving of humanity?

[floof-writes]

WARNING: this post includes some negativity about something you might love: D20’s The Seven, specifically choices made by Sephie about Sam Nightingale’s actions and backstory

TL;DR- (Disclaimer, I'm only to episode 5) The way Sephie chose to play Sam makes her seem aloof, toxic, disingenuous, and attention-seeking compared to the rich found-family themes of past Fantasy High seasons and to her fellow characters in this season. Less importantly but still frustrating, she doesn't follow the 'one leveled spell a round' rule. If she had all these flaws and was also funny, I might forgive her. But, alas.

Watching The Seven right now for FHJY and while I have countless good things to say about it, forgive me for instead ranting about the fan beloved Sam Nightingale. While I understand that many people love it, Sam/Sephie’s stage mom backstory gets on my fucking nerves. Especially the viral video thing in episode 5. Sephie blows up a bit (a bit in a comedy show! They're always doing bits!) into something big and then chooses to duck out instead of committing and resolving. I LIVE for emotional moments in D20, I seriously do, but whatever Sephie has been doing just doesn’t work for me. It feels cheap. D20 emotional moments have a ton of build-up through comedy/resistance, and I hate to say it, but Sam is not a funny character. I’m not saying she’s not realistic- she’s traumatized and is going through a lot, but Sephie is playing her in the wrong genre. D20 is a comedy.

Here's the thing: Ally also gets criticism for playing Kristen in a really explicit and overt way, trampling over other roleplay with her trauma, and that is true (sorry Kristen, ily!), but at least what Ally did is funny. Sam isn't. Sephie almost nailed it when Rebecca revealed she was getting divorced- her reaction was both real and comedic, but later when she called Penelope it felt forced/spotlighty/too soon, especially considering she didn't even have a mirror charge left. And that attention-seeky vibe isn’t helped by the fact that Sephie chose to play an ex-child actor: a real-life tragedy that almost always comes off as cheap when fictionalized.

But the parallels between Ally’s Kristen and Sephie’s Sam don’t end there! One of the biggest reasons people were annoyed by Kristen was Ally’s (and to an extent, Brennan/fellow player's), absolute ignorance of the rules about concentration spells, which made her really overpowered in season one. My argument against this as a newbie dnd player was always ‘rule of cool, it was fun to watch and fun to play so it doesn’t matter!', but as a more experienced player I finally understand that frustration even though I tried not to feel it. The same thing happened with Sam in ep 4- she casts two leveled spells in a single turn with Quicken Spell (Lightning Bolt and Fly, and again later with Enthrall and Suggestion), which makes her seem crazily overpowered despite the fact that she’s a 3/6 multi-class among a 9th level druid and a 9th level cleric. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good multi-class, but she shouldn’t be outstripping them so handily (Yielle also fucking slayed this fight though).

[A proposed alternate turn for her second mistake: Quicken spell to Enthrall and then use her winged boots and second action to attack the harpy and catch Penny (a ranged cantrip (LIGHTNING LURE) or a weapon attack if the DM allowed that to cause her to drop Penny, opposed strength with Danielle’s Bear Totem advantage if not). It would have been just as cool and displayed better teamwork, plus it was an opportunity to roleplay bonding and show gratitude for the Feather Fall that saved her fucking life.]

In fact, for me, there’s only three rather subjective reasons why I adore Kristen so much and find Sam super annoying: 1. As we've been over before, Kristen is funny. Sam is not. 2. I personally really relate to Kristen’s Overpowering Trauma (tm) and as an amateur actress, find bitter child actress plots absolutely inconceivable (Disclaimer:Jeanette McCurdy’s ‘I’m Glad My Mom Died’ made me fucking lose it). And 3. Kristen's story is about finding love (of herself through romantic but most importantly platonic relationships), supporting others, and understanding the world. Caring so much she self-destructs. Even her famous rule-breaking was usually caused by a conflict with Bless, a spell she cast every time to protect her friends. But Sam has thus far rarely displayed unselfishness, despite knowing the Maidens for nearly twice as long as Kristen knew the Bad Kids by the end of Season One. Kristen was self-centered in that Ally often drew the focus of roleplay towards their character's own issues and sub-plot, (or by being the purest form of the new player paradox and asking to do something crazy.) Sam is self-centered in that same way, and also in that she is literally selfish. Antiope says 'I have an opportunity' and instead of saying 'I get it, the pressure of having a parent who doesn't understand you changes everything, but even then a part of you still wants what they want for you' she says 'so you won't be there for me? How could you?'. Penny saves her life before being snatched into the air like a mouse to a hawk, and Sam is the only one who can fly but she plays the harp instead of helping her in return.

ALL the maidens lost months to more than a year of their lives. All the maidens are grappling with generational expectations, trauma, and pressure just like Sam. The big what-if at the end of highschool. I was only going to point out Antiope and Penny, but this actually seems to be a major theme of the season, since Ostentatia and Zelda also have overt themes of this.

Look, if you’re gonna play angsty, there’s a trick to it. There's this highschool level acting advice I've heard so many times: The worst choice you can make on stage is to be bored, because what is the audience to do except be bored as well? Similarly, if you choose to play disconnected, then how is an audience supposed to connect? In a group of people who have vocalized endless support for you, ‘I’m fine, I'm fine' (as shown in episode 5's viral video scene) is just dishonest, and it's honestly a betrayal of Sephie’s fellow actors who are working to improvise a history of openness and support with Sephie’s character, just so Sam can seem aloof and angsty. Break down in their arms, Sephie! Get flustered and run away! Either ‘I Kiss Her And Skateboard Away/I Burn Two Luck Points To Stop Riz From Finding Out’ OR ‘I Need Everyone To Dogpile On Me Right Now/I Kiss Everyone On The Mouth’ levels of teen angst are needed for this to be actually funny. Sam could've had something unique and iconic up there with Kristen and Fig's struggles with being known, but she isn’t cringefail enough. She's not relatable, and she claims to be bitter but really she's just mean. And again, I never said she isn’t realistic- real life people do the ‘I’m fine’ thing. Real life teenagers make a big deal out of something to tease out sympathy/curiosity over a Hidden Trauma and then duck out of an explanation for the attention of it all. But it isn’t funny and it feels OOC for a maiden who had a year and a half to become fucking codependent (/pos) with these other six girls.

Rant over, something positive to end the post: TaleSpire is so fucking cool! Physical battlemaps are awesome but you couldn't do a 700ft+ chase battle on the dome's tabletop. They really took advantage of using a virtual tool this season and did something they couldn't do otherwise. (Plus the fact that TaleSpire is treated like video game software and has a one time purchase fee instead of a subscription based model is fucking awesome!)

[can-of-pringles]

Recap of the Mother Mother and Cavetown concert from last night! It was such a blast, had a great time. Was very hot though... I don't know why they bother doing summer concerts in Texas /j

It was kinda fun being able to tell who was a Cavetown fan and who was a MM fan. A couple of people had frog build a bears with them. Also random but I saw someone there with a Ghost shirt?? I almost said nice Ghost shirt but didn't have the courage to 😅

At one point in between bands, people in the pit had started stacking cups and it became this whole thing, they got the cup tower pretty high! And the people who were in charge of the big screen displays focused on it more than once. People would cheer about it lol. Also, the amount of pride flags I saw was wonderful. It really was awesome. MM had a small trans flag on stage! And of course Cavetown had flags too. I almost made a joke to my mom (who went with me for MM) saying "What's gayer? A MM and Cavetown concert or a pride parade?"

Meet Me At the Altar was good to hear live, I'll admit. They had picked up this little rubber ducky and asked the crowd what its name should be (I think it ended up being Carl?)

(Here's a couple of pictures I took. In this whole collection, just a reminder that some pictures are better than others...)

Cavetown was great! He asked the crowd a lot if we were staying hydrated and were ok. I didn't get a good look but someone had to be escorted out because I think the heat got to them and they collapsed? Hopefully they're ok :/ but nothing (more) bad happened afterwards.

The mushrooms were fun and the frog bit too. I got so nostalgic hearing Lemon Boy, This is Home, and Boys Will Be Bugs 🥺

And then the grand finale that I had been waiting for! Mother Mother! Absolutely amazing live and they had such a great vibe and atmosphere? Ryan's speech right before they played Grief Chapter almost caused me to tear up 🥹 he had so many inspiring speeches.

I loved hearing both Haylofts live! And Bring Me Back to Life was a pleasant surprise! Wisdom too. My seat was pretty close, I think about three rows down from the pit to the left side. That's the closest I've gotten. Plus the seat in front of me was empty the whole time!

(I have more photos but you know how it is)

Overall a really good experience for my second concert. I'm very exhausted though and will probably need a few days to decompress. I might post some of my video clips if y'all are interested.

[saintsenara]

for 16 of the very normal asks, rather than an illicit substance, write them a prescription, suggest a course of treatment, or give them a referral

screaming! thank you very much for this cunningly-adapted question from the very normal fic writer ask game, anon!

16 [asenora's version]. write each of your fics (or a selection of them) a prescription, course of treatment, or referral to a specialist

well. let's do this for my main multi-chapter wips. plus a couple of extras. for fun.

---

the plot of one year in every ten hinges on harry displaying a run of extremely reckless behaviour - which builds on symptoms evident since his childhood such as impulsivity, fidgeting, hyperfocus, difficulty concentrating on tasks he finds uninteresting, irritability, and so on.

all of which is to say... he's clearly got attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. 50mg lisdexamfetamine every morning.

---

voldemort - at least as we see him in scylla and charybdis - isn't going to bother following up with a psychiatrist [which i doubt any psychiatrist considers a great loss] and so nothing is going to be done about the extremely sinister manifestations of his complex post-traumatic stress disorder [which looks, if you're so inclined, quite a lot like antisocial personality disorder... often known as sociopathy].

he might want to go and have his atrial fibrillation looked at though - even if his canonical fear of doctors isn't going to make him the easiest person to give an ecg...

[and, as always, it probably wouldn't hurt him - or snape - to go and see a priest...]

---

sirius in the war of the roses has a leg injury i'm keeping obscure as a future plot-point for now. he also has a kidney infection - luckily he hasn't died in the department of mysteries so he can lie on the sofa feeling sorry for himself until his course of antibiotics is done.

lupin won't visit him once.

---

the titular subluxation is probably going to need surgery, i fear - especially because rodolphus won't give up brandishing his wand at people he'd like to kill, which is aggravating the injury.

i'm not sure how such an avowed blood-supremacist would feel about muggle inventions such as x-rays or mri scans, though. he's struggling through with his sling and his pain relief potions, like thousands of stubborn idiots before him.

all percy needs is a backbone, but you can't get those on the nhs yet.

---

a caesarian section from someone who actually knows what they're doing comes too late for merope in the shack at the end of the lane, but hopefully she's able to heal from her birth trauma and smack dumbledore in the face for blaming her for her own death in the afterlife.

---

i am invested in the headcanon that walburga black suffered from post-natal depression - as seen in lamentation and nor all that glisters gold - and i think that antidepressants and a series of sessions with someone who [very much unlike orion] actually listens to her would work wonders.

---

and poor wee tom is wracked by scarlet fever in the velveteen rabbit. this is easily treatable nowadays with antibiotics. in the 1930s, the doctor who visits the orphanage [and decides to charge a pretty penny for it] can only advise mrs cole to wait and see whether he pops his clogs in the night.

i'm not saying that - had he gone through childhood in the post-penicillin age - tom would have had less of a thing about death... but i'm also not not saying that...

[other answers from this ask game]

[feckcops]

Total solidarity with Palestine is the only anti-racist position

“Centuries of colonial machinations, turning Palestinians into objects to be managed for the benefit of others, made it thinkable that a solution to European antisemitism could be found, not in the murderous wealth of Bavaria, but by ethnically cleansing these worthless people and building a new society in this barren desert. That Palestinians had a life before this erasure becomes their ‘narrative’, a story the natives like to tell …

“Racism ensures that, though sensible moderates never ask me to share the dinner table with Holocaust deniers and display polite restraint, Palestinians are expected to coexist constantly with people who lecture them about the ‘right to exist’ of the state built atop their burned homes. And Palestinians are usually expected to shut up about it, to show endless patience for the traumas of the people who murder them. Leftwing commentators explain to Palestinians that theirs is not really a colonial experience at all; they shouldn’t say that, since it might offend the coloniser.

“I have spent several years writing about rising antisemitism, thinking about its causes and the range of its deadly and destructive consequences. To think that opposing antisemitism demands even the slightest equivocation about settler colonialism in Palestine is like arguing that feminism in the Jim Crow American south should have entailed support for moral panics about black men raping white women. Both views (no matter how often they are endorsed by the ‘lived experience’ of Jews after centuries of slaughter or white women in a violent patriarchy: trauma is not a university) seek shortcuts to safety whose essential racism lies in making exiled and colonised Palestinians or lynched black men into collateral damage.

“In Palestine, settler-colonists armed to the teeth understand themselves as victims even as they pulverise others. The others – whether they march peacefully towards their old homes, or fire rockets at an enormous Iron Dome, or just mourn for their lost loved ones – are always the lurking, violent, dangerous threat. The dispossessed are, if they fight back, blamed for their own dispossession. They are chided, like children, for losing their temper with an abusive parent who should be allowed to beat up the child in peace.

“Palestinians are not unique in this condition; it is the crudest logic of racial violence everywhere. When slaves rebelled on plantations they too were terrorists, disrupting the serenity of the world. What gave them such a violent temperament, their masters asked, and made them so hostile to the peace that reigned while they were in chains? All that is safely in the past now, and academics celebrate the long-forgotten agency of the oppressed, seeking to be free. But in Palestine, it is not past – as indeed on American streets police lynchings are not really past either. The homes and health that Europeans have are like jewels and if others want them – migrants from elsewhere – those people are threats to be drowned at sea in their thousands. The whole world remains saturated by a colonial set of colour lines, dividing properly human lives from expendable ones.

“In this bind, the most sympathetic thing western journalists do is to focus on dead Palestinian children. They are helpless, blameless: pure victims against Israel’s grotesque claim to be the victim. This is how humanitarianism strips its objects of humanity. Palestinians deserve our support because in their abject weakness they do not (contrary to Israel’s charge) really threaten anything. Outsiders wince at resistance and stress the enormous inequality of arms: Palestinian weapons are barely weapons at all. To these supporters, Palestinians cannot be political subjects, people who fight for their freedom from domination as their allies from Algeria to Vietnam once did too. Given that the Israeli state and populace has as little interest as every other colonial society in surrendering their supremacy, the expectation that Palestinians should quietly go on dying in order to merit international support constitutes an insidious form of their dehumanisation. If bullish western rightwingers see them as savages to be managed, generous western liberals see them as dying exotic flowers to be treasured on windowsills.”

[pbandjesse]

Today was a lot of fun but also absolutely exhausting and full of way to many people. Also my mouse isn't doing well and it makes me really sad. But I am trying to keep him comfortable. It's the least I can do if he's going to go soon. 

It just sucks because he seemed fine and fluffy this morning. I slept weird. Getting woken up by the smoke detector battery dying at 3am. And then waking up at 730 to Jess texting me she was running late and wasn't sure when she would get to the fair. And I was fine with that I just wanted her to let me know her ETA and we would change accordingly. 

James came in the bedroom around 8 and I let them know we would leave later then planned. So they had time to take a bike ride to the museum and get some baked goods and come back. I was able to just lay in bed and doze for a while. Getting up when Jess was leaving. 

I got ready and was having my pretzel from the market yesterday for breakfast when James came back. They got ready too. And made themselves a bagel. We left a few minutes later then I wanted but it actually all worked out. 

We made sure that my mouse baby was good. He was fed and fluffy. And sweetp was missed on and secure. And when we got outside Mr Will was there. It was nice to see him!! Hugs all around and then we were off. 

It was a pretty solid ride. I made James listen to 100gecs to loud. They said their ears were ringing. So we switched to something not as intense. And had a nice ride out to Crownville, which is the actual name of the town where the Ren fair is. Hilarious. 

We got there just as Jess was texting me she was parking. And we ended up parking only a few cars away! What amazing timing. 

After we parked me and James finished putting our accessories on. James was in charge of the backpack today which was a huge help. And I felt really cute. But mostly I just loved looking at my husband who looked so handsome today I couldn't barely stand it. Just looking like a prince and I was so happy to be with them. 

Honestly all of our outfits looked great today. I felt very cool. Temperature wise we were like perfect for the first couple hours but then I did the sun came out we were s bit overheated which was a little tough. But we were still having fun. 

I loved looking around and people watching. I'll admit I was a little overwhelmed. We were committed to seeing the first joust. But beyond that there wasn't much of a plan. Which is fine but a little stressful. 

We saw a building with miniatures in it and so we paid out little admission and went in and it was so worth it. Journey to Venice. The man we bought the tickets from was very nice and him and the other woman there complimented Jess's nails. Which were jelly red with bones on them super cool.

And the display was incredible. The mirror room was great. I loved seeing all the candles going back into space. Then in the main room was all these tiny building like you were in Venice and you open the doors and lights come on and sometimes you were looking at yourself in a costume in a scene and sometimes you were looking into a shop and sometimes it was just. Mirrors. Peppers ghost. They even had a true mirror! Which James very much didn't like but it just felt familiar to me. I have seen myself from so many angle. Looked into my own eyes. But I get why they might be uncomfy. 

We would make most of the full loop of the fair after that and it was decided we would get a snack for the joust. We were going to get potato wedges but then they were sold out. So instead me and Jess would save us front row seats for the joust and James would go get us french fries. We appreciated James greatly today for standing in food lines for us. 

The women next to us at the joust loved my bat bag, Lewis. Multiple women today would also me about him and compliment him and it was exciting and validating to tell people I made him. Jess said she likes that I say I msde him even though the stuffie part was bought and she needs to be able to use that same logic, because she agrees I made lewis, I transformed him into a bag and that's making. She just feels weird saying she made things out of things that already exist and I think because I have been an advocate for found object art for so long I barely see the distinction but I also understand her worry about being a liar. I made Lewis, I helped actualize his new form. And I loved being able to tell people that. 

The joust was fun. It was fun cheering even if we didn't sit in Keegan, my favorite jouster's, section. Sir William was funny and fun too. People in Keegan's section had signs and tshirts which was hilarious. Jess asked James if this is what watching sports is like, the excitement, and James was like. This is a sport, it's Maryland's state sport! 

The joust itself was short but the show was kind of long. I liked the new rider they had that was supposed to be Mongolian. We actually saw a handful of people dressed in Asian medieval wear. Which was awesome. I loved seeing that. We were talking about the PA Ren fair and comparing a lot today and this one for sure feels more real. Like more lived in and more like a village. The PA one feels more like a town with shops. Both are great but it's fun to compare and contrast. 

After the joust we would continue our walk. Going in and out of shops. Jess wanted to get he chair braided. Apparently she's always wanted to try that but it sounded like a nightmare to me. Keeping s tight braid. Paying for it?? No thank you. But she had talked about it and wanted to try it. When we first got to the fair we had checked in and there was a long wait so we would come back after the joust and only had to wait a few minutes. She brushed her hair out and then the girl did the crown braid. But it sort of stuck out on the side and I asked them to fix it and they did a which Jess said thanks for speaking up for her. And it was pretty but I think would have looked nicer with bangs or farther back? I liked the little flowers they put in it. She said she probably won't do it again but was glad she tried. But step for her! I think the pictures of her getting it done look really pretty so if nothing else there is that. 

Next was figuring out what to eat. This is always an ordeal and specifically then when it was legit lunch time.We decided based on a short line. And got a ride bowl for Jess and two egg rolls for me. Jess gave me some of the rice. James was trying to get our waters filled but we were struggling. I snapped at James a little and felt bad.i had walked us really far away with our food to try to find somewhere to sit and eat. Eventually fining some rocks next to a bush that were flat. Jess and me would eat while James continued to look for water. Eventually finding it at the first aid station. 

I apologized to James when they got back. Jess told me I was being unreasonable when I told her why I was upset and she was correct. I can't expect James to just fix everything. That's not a fair standard. But I was also just a little overheated and overwhelmed. Still no excuse. 

I felt better with some water. And it turned out we were standing next to a lady selling lemon sticks. So Jess bought me a lemon stick. Thank you Jess. James ran into a DND friend and that was cool. Was nice to see him. We would also run into Jessica Leibowitz and her friends later in the day. It was cool to see people we knew. 

I was struggling with how busy it was though. I would have liked to take more pictures but I was just a little overwhelmed by the amount of people so setting up my phone was to difficult. I tried my best to capture what I could.  And I was enjoying looking at stuff in the shops but I also felt like I was constantly in the way. That would be my biggest complain for today. Just to many people. But I still had fun.

Me and Jess were really getting tired though. So we found and open bench to people watch at, while James went to get their own lunch and bring us back a frozen lemonade. 

Me and Jess just talked and enjoyed people watching. Even if the sun was to hot. We were both struggling with that today and just being tired. I was having fun but I was frustrated with myself for having such low energy. 

James would get a little lost coming back. So in trying to find them we lost our bench. Thankfully found another quick and we sat while James inhaled their sandwich. We told them we weren't  in a rush but they felt like they were making us wait. Which was silly. We were both tired and sitting was not a problem. 

We would keep walking after that. To a few shops we had missed. To refill our waters at the first aid station. We decided to start walking to the exit. Checking out everything by the front we had missed. We got to try different honey, the mango flower was my favorite. And it was just a lot of fun. 

But the day was drawing to an end for us. We were beat. I was excited to take my shoes off in the car. 

We walked Jess to her car and I helped her get out of her dress so she didn't have to drive in a corset for 2 hours. And then we went to our car and took all of our stuff off too. I was very happy to take my leggings off. I felt a lot less hot. The day was surprisingly warm in the end.

We ended up driving behind Jess for a few miles. Only losing her when we stopped for gas. She would get home about an hour after us. Safe and sound but extremely tired and sore. 

Our drive was much shorter but I was very uncomfortable by the end and just desperately wanted to be home. 

When we got back here I found that baby mouse was sitting in the water tray I have for him in there (it's just a jam jar lid) freezing cold. I dried him up as best I could but he was squeaking every time I touched him. About an hour later was when I realized his legs were moving. I don't know what happened. If I did something or what but I feel horrible that he's hurting. He even bit me! To small to break the skin but clearly telling me he was in pain. I fed him and tried to keep him warm. But I am not sure he'll be here tomorrow and it breaks my heart. I just hate to think he's in pain right now. I hope he's at least comfortable in there right now. And he'll pass in his sleep. 

I have been resting since we got home. Getting up to take a shower was a struggle. I am just so tired. But at least I am clean now. I have been resting with James for a long time. They had gone out briefly to get milk at the store. But they are home and we are  getting ready to sleep. 

Tomorrow I hope to have a cozy morning and then my class at awah. I hope that one is fun. I hope it's a very good day. I hope you all have a great night. Send good vibes to baby mouse. That he is peaceful and pain free. I love you all. Goodnight 

[ice-knife]

9, 10, 12, and 26 for russo ♥

OH VERY FUN QUESTIONS!! we shall build russo together this way 💕 // non-spoilery rook questions

9. What is Rook like on the battlefield?

russo is as quiet on the battlefield as he is in conversation. he definitely prefers fighting with other, more flashier combatants so they can distract the foe and russo can exploit that weakness. you don’t expect someone as tall as him to move like he does, but he’s like a shadow

10. Does Rook know their history? Do they know of the HoF, Hawke, the Inquisitor?

so this is a funny question specifically because. he’s vaguely aware of the inquisitor but house de riva wasn’t a house that worked with the inquisition, and while houses de riva and caldera did work together when trying to track down zevran in the free marches, russo was too young of a recruit to know the details about that, let alone to know much about hawke’s involvement there

but he does know about the hero of ferelden! not necessarily due to the fact that fyfa stopped the fifth blight, though. more due to the fact that russo witnessed fyfa helping zevran to decimate house arainai. he got to watch her stab somebody in the face, i think. Fun Times

12. Does Rook have any family? Do they keep in touch?

i am not being original by saying that russo and viago have a family-type bond, nor am i trying to be lmao. he really likes viago though! nobody can piss those two off quite like each other. teia simultaneously wants to study them both under a magnifying glass and knock their heads together

as for blood family, i don’t think russo has any </3 i’m hammering out his backstory still, but i doubt he has any living family. maybe a distant aunt or smth he’s vaguely aware of and occasionally, briefly wonders how life would be different if she had taken him in, but not a woman he ever met in person

26. Rook is in charge of the grocery list. What’s on it?

he’s a really good pick to handle the grocery list because he has a knack for remembering things people have said they wanted to try but haven’t yet, or things that others have specifically said they love. he remembers favourite tea blends, orlesian candy that catches the eye in a window display, the cooking wine someone swears by, such like that. and one he’s listed everything everybody else needs and wants, he adds fish for himself. motherfucker goes crazy for good salmon