#i bring up allowances because these people are almost always 13 years old

[3moe5me]

being a poor figure collector is interesting because I always see middle class people (who definitely have enough money to buy a genuine figure) saying "well not everyone can spend £100 on an anime figure🙄" to justify buying bootlegs, and the "£100 figure" in question is a Hatsune Miku prize figure you can find for less than £10 on eBay or literally any figure retail website. if my broke ass can save what little money I get to indulge in my hobby then you can save your sizeable 'monthly allowance' to buy a genuine figure

[recurring-polynya]

I like how your lieutenants math headcanons post implies Yumichika does tax evasion. How else does squad 11 afford repairs for all the times it has presumably been trashed by enthusiastic brawling.

This is not the first time I have accused Yumichika of doing a little light embezzling, you know, as a hobby.

One of my favorite ironies of the Gotei-13 setup is that you become captain by merit of being good at beating people up, but then the job itself is like 49% paperwork and 49% management, with ass-kicking taking up the other 2%, if you're lucky. I think the actual most important function of a captain, and the one thing that cannot really be delegated to a lieutenant, is asking for money.

It's always very vague what all of the non-specialist squads do with their time and resources. I imagine though, that in addition to whatever Bullshit-of-the-Day Yamamoto makes his captains do, they have general standing duties. I imagine there's something similar to a bid process that goes into this. When there is new work that needs to be done, any captain that's interested in taking it on would have to provide a proposal for why their squad is suited for that task and what resources they would require to get it done. (Or sometimes Yamamoto might make everyone submit a proposal, whether anyone wants that job or not). At the end of the year, they have to provide accounting of their costs and summaries of their accomplishments. A savvy captain is good at figuring out which tasks are going to bring in cash and acclaim to their squad, which, in turn, is going to allow them to recruit better people, reward their high performers, and provide their officers with interesting and rewarding work. A proven track record is going to go a long way in winning future work, but so is knowing how to work the system. Here's where the system is pretty broken (I say, with utmost affection), because if you look at say, Squad 6, Byakuya a) knows all of the secrets of writing Proposals Central 46 Loves to Get because his grandfather was making him write these things for his allowance when he was 10 years old, b) people love to do favors for him because he's rich, and c) he can use his own money/money the clan approves as a discretionary fund for planting cherry trees and buying everyone dress uniforms, so that stuff never has to show up as a line item so his expenses always look super-clean. Other captains have their own techniques for getting cashola--no one understands what Mayuri does, so when he asks for 12 million kan to develop illuminated shadow-defeating inflatable armor (with color-changing LEDs), they're like "sure, sounds legit." Unohana just asks very politely and drops some vague hints about her very precise knowledge of anatomy. This is also the reason that Squad 10 is constantly doing all of the worst jobs-- Hitsugaya bids on everything and is extremely honest and ethical. Even Ukitake plays the game better than he does.

But you know who does not? Zaraki. Zaraki could not give two shits about this. He does not want to read the monthly RFP roundup newsletter. He does not want to write memos. He just wants to fight things. Give him something to fight. I think Squad 11 officers already get paid below standard rates because most of them did not graduate Shin'ou, which bumps them way down on the Gotei-equivalent of the GS scale. As you say, they break their own shit, constantly. And on top of that, I think Zaraki also has almost no concept of what money is worth. He's a simple guy with pretty simple desires. He lives on base, has, like, three outfits, and goes drinking sometimes. You can't even buy a really sweet truck in Soul Society. He comes from the literal worst part of the Rukon, which probably didn't even use money-- everything is luxurious to him.

I think a lot of the Squad 11 guys buy into the Zaraki lifestyle. They're also from the Rukon, they're just happy to have a sword and their weekly booze. But on the other hand, they are vastly under-compensated relative to their work. I think everyone has a roommate, whereas most seated officers in other squads get personal quarters. There are strong fighters elsewhere in the Gotei, people with experience and fighting knowledge, that would consider joining Squad 11, but they're not taking the pay cut. They can't keep seated officers. Every so often, they get an insane person (Renji, Iba) who joins for some limited period of time. It ups their vibe enormously, and then that person leaves after they've worked through whatever personal shit that led them to join Squad 11 in the first place.

So, Yumichika does what he has to do. He reads the the monthly RFP roundup newsletter, and if anything sounds like it involves a lot of violence, he uses his graphic design skills and his rock-bottom budget to put together a nice little proposal, and sends it off with Yachiru to Squad 1. Zaraki is not even really cognizant of this process, he just knows that sometimes they get good jobs that he likes. For as low as his budgets are, Yumichika still knows how to pad them out extensively, and how to file for project year extensions.

He's also the one who controls intra-squad expenditures. Yes, we would all to spend our entire budget on "swords", but unfortunately, we have to pay for the mess hall you buffoons exploded last week if you ever want to eat again. Yumichika may give off the appearance of extravagance, but he is very much the "pulls into the drivethru and orders (1) small black coffee" to the rest of Squad 11's "McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!"

Also, for the record, he very much does do some straight-up embezzling. Eye feathers don't pay for themselves, you know.

[cr1mson5returns]

my fav version of tim drake is similar to the post of yours that made me follow you

my fav tim drake is that time he got an uncle to avoid adoption taken to the extreme. hes never been robin, not a bat, but he does follow them on patrol taking pics and occasionally intervening and they cant quite manage to stop him. hes dick grayson's nemesis because he no matter where he is, all he can think about is finally getting that kid to sit down and eat a proper meal and take a nap. jason comes back from the dead and tim has been deterring batman from violence with a squirt gun instead of a robin and jason almost hates him more for it. damian thinks he is an excellent operative, held in high esteem by his grandfather, and at first tim doesn't know what to make of that but then starts putting him to use for shenanigans. you get the idea

Oh, God, but Tim maintaining a professional relationship with Ra's al Ghul is everything I've ever desired? This weird old undead motherfucker is constantly bugging him about joining up and being his right-hand man and conquering the unruly world together and bringing peace and justice once and for all, blah blah blah, but Tim just isn't interested in that. Sounds like a lot of responsibility to have at his age, frankly. He's good just calling in the occasional favor and redirecting Batman's fury with the League of Assassins.

Also, like...I've officially started tagging these things "morally gray tim drake has my heart" because he does, y'all. He does! I do so very much enjoy the interpretation of Tim Drake as a morally gray character regardless of age (but especially in the Red Robin run) and I do think it's a valid way lens through which to see him.

The thing that makes Tim stand out to me is this undercurrent of tone to everything he does which implies that he views himself as inconsequential to the narrative. I might be in the minority here and that's fine(ish), but I've always thought about what would drive an emotionally abused and neglected 13-year-old child to try everything in his power to save his hero from killing himself and/or becoming public enemy #1. And maybe I'm projecting, but it always seems to come back to: "Well, I don't trust anyone else to be capable of doing it." He tried to talk to Dick, and Dick wouldn't take Robin back up, but Nightwing wasn't what Batman needed. And sure, they could've waffled about and tried to find someone else to be Robin. But Tim was right there and in the absence of anyone else he felt was qualified to do it, he just...did it.

Tim sees Batman (and Nightwing and Robin by extension) as being so incredibly significant to the overarching narrative. He knows that Batman doesn't really reduce crime, not in a city with local politics as corrupt as Gotham. He knows that it doesn't functionally matter if Batman gets this guy and not that guy, because it all shakes out the same. When there's a huge crisis, when Gotham City needs a symbol of everything that's still good here, still worth saving, Batman shows up and saves the day. Batman isn't allowed to succumb to human flaws like grief, despair, and outrage. People need him to mean more than that. Tim will do whatever it takes to secure and maintain that almost otherworldly level of heroism for Batman. If it gets him dirty in the process, he doesn't mind. Tim Drake won't be remembered. Batman will.

Of course, this is also why I think it's so fucking funny that Tim is at a point where he's just throwing death wish ideas at a wall until something sticks and hollering at the universe, "JUST KILL ME ALREADY!!!!"

[levitatingbiscuits]

I love some of ur atla metas revolving katara sm! People are really hard on her, when in reality she suffered the most in the show. I think people try to use her to prop up sokkas barely existing issues so he's more relevant, and as a way to excuse aangs flaws, but you don't do that.

Thank you! I am, first and foremost, a Katara stan. I'm like Aang straight out the iceberg. 10 year old me saw her and was like OH YES SHE'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and that hasn't changed in 13 years.

People tend to play suffering Olympics for this show specifically to shit on katara, even though it's primarily her trauma that the narrative focuses on as a lens through which to explore the war. Tellingly, most of her suffering she goes through alone, without the support she offers to everyone else.

People try to play whataboutism with Aang and Sokka's trauma, even though the show straight up tells us that she is their living emotional crutch and the reason they were able to move on. Katara can't move on. No one helps her move on. When she tries to take matters into her own hands, to heal herself the way she heals others, she's condemned by the fandom (and Aang and Sokka that one time), called selfish and cruel and a million other things.

I especially hate when people bring up the Air Nomad genocide as a gotcha, when Katara is also the sole survivor of a genocide, a genocide she personally witnessed and was in danger of dying in. People forget that bloodbending is very obviously a metaphor for the generational trauma she inherits ON TOP of the traumatic murder of her mother, who died in her place. Katara knew very well that Yon Rha was there to kill her for her bending. Her survivor's guilt is actually worse than Aang's, even though it's less focused on, because she never truly gets over it. She spends the rest of her childhood trying to fill the empty space her mother left. And she SUCCEEDED. For her father, her brother, for everyone else she supported and mothered. For the child she named after her mom, a child that carries on the almost extinct legacy of Southern bending the way Tenzin does for Airbending, even though her importance is just as downplayed as EVERY OTHER ASPECT OF KATARA'S LEGACY INDEPENDENT OF AANG'S. Katara fills that empty maternal, caring role for EVERYONE in the gaang but zuko and herself, then she plays the same role for Korra because she's Aang's successor.

That's why it's so galling that she never got to resolve the bloodbending story herself. Sokka and Aang do it for her while she's busy trying to repopulate the Air Nomads, because God forbid she be allowed to do anything separate from her husband. Legend of Korra shits on Katara almost as much as the goddamn fandom. "She doesn't get a statue because she didn't do anything after the war but mother Aang's kids" is the actual justification bryke gave for no one honoring or idolizing her the way they do for the rest of the gaang in LOK. And God forbid she get a fight scene or even attend her own granddaughter's mastery ceremony. After all, that's Aang's legacy, not hers. She was treated like a convenient broodmare still pining for him 2 decades after his death and training and healing his successor and being neglected and isolated by her kids, because of course she's not allowed to move on and be content without him. Katara is never allowed to heal from her losses. She's always, always left to suffer in silence and deal with her pain alone.

No wonder this fandom props up Aang and Sokka by undermining Katara. The creators did it first :/

People didn't used to be such weirdos about Sokka. This is 100% a result of the ex-klance people latching on to zukka due to the superficial aesthetic similarities. Remember all those Lance stans who would insist that he's the one who suffered the most and would shit on every other character to make him look better? And transplant the character traits of other characters on to him, ESPECIALLY the girl of color popularly shipped with his supposed love interest? (Waterbender/moon spirit sokka is just altean Lance with a fresh coat of atla paint.) That's literally what they did to sokka in the "Renaissance." Before that it was primarily the hard-core kataang/aang stans insisting that Katara's narrative mattered less than the male characters'. I still remember the rape and death threats I got back in like 2018 for arguing that she deserved better than to end up a permanently benched housewife healer propping up Aang's legacy rather than securing her own in LOK. Then the zukkas came along and insisted their misogyny was woke because it was in service of fetishizing a gay ship with barely any basis in canon. (Cmon guys, jetko is RIGHT THERE and their interactions are not exclusively about one guy's various girlfriends. Just saying. Hell, Zukaang has the most basis of any atla slash ship, but people aren't attracted to Aang so they don't bother. Mark my words, the upcoming atla movie is gonna cause a zukaang Renaissance.)

That got long lol. This is probably gonna be controversial but I don't care, I'm right. Appreciate you nonnie!

[msclaritea]

Where to Watch ‘Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest’ — 2024 Edition

Blind Items Revealed #2

February 10, 2017

With his popularity waning because he is not on television each week, this A list mogul is threatening to pull his production deal with the parent company unless he gets back on the air now. Thirsty f**ker. Always likes you to think he prefers being behind the scenes. Nope. His ego is HUUUUUUGE. So, now the company is going to overpay for a worn out franchise from a different network.

Ryan Seacrest/American Idol/NBC

Blind Items Revealed #5

July 13, 2021

Except for making some things blind items, I have left it entirely in the words of the tipster.

I was invited to spend time this past Memorial weekend hanging out with this animator/writer/illustrator/one hit wonder (#1) who had a short lived series on this almost network several years ago. The show attracted a significant cult following when it aired on (#2) and this person still has a strong fan base within his subsection of pop culture. To this day, he never appears out in public where he might be recognized or allows any photos to be taken without wearing his signature disguise that he’s worn since the inception of his show. (He didn’t wear it Memorial weekend when out with me. I completely didn’t recognize him when I first saw him.) Everything online, including his Wikipedia bio, is fake and written by him. He will do anything and everything to keep people from knowing any personal info about him. He desperately attempts to project his age much younger than his 54 years and while his real first name is very close to his fake persona, his last name is not.

To say that he is a horribly racist individual doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of his deep seated racism. A very nice and genuine friend of his that I met last year, he refers to as, “that rich Jew”. He believes everyone in the Little Armenia section of LA hates white people. He was upset that his neighborhood is being “invaded by Mexicans”. A kind friend of his, who happens to manage a very popular bar, graciously let us cut to the front of the line to get in because he was getting angrier and angrier at having to wait. When talking about his friend that got us in the bar, he continually made disparaging comments about the fact that the guy only dates black men. He repeatedly said throughout the weekend that he doesn’t like inviting this person to his house for parties because he brings a boyfriend and hates having black people in his house.

He texted me Sunday afternoon and inquired about lunch and thrift shopping (something we have in common). I said sure and hoped that Saturday’s deplorable behavior was just due to having an off day. Nope. As soon as I picked him up, he was in a horrid mood. When I called him out on it, he said that he could just not talk to me at all (tempting but awkward). He asked what I had done all morning. I told him the fun I had and the great places in LA I visited. He laughed and said he thought I was probably sitting in my hotel room waiting for him to call. (Pro tip: when in LA be sure to visit the immersive art exhibit at Cakeland LA.) I suggested we eat lunch at El Coyote. I had always wanted to eat there. He got more irate and asked who I thought I was that I could pick where we ate. Not wanting to argue with someone with the temperament of a four year old, I let him pick lunch. While waiting for our food he asks me who I think is gay in LA. (I’ve been an avid reader of CDAN for over a decade; I know my Hollywood gays.) First name that comes to mind is the mogul (#3). He says he’s heard that #3 might be gay. Next up on my list is the talk show host/game show creator (#4)’s ex boy toy, (#5). He says that he has met #5 numerous times and there is no way he can be gay because he is so nice and gives back to the community. (That may be true but Helen Keller could tell #5 is gay.) I tell him I’ve always thought this A+ list mostly movie actor (#6) was gay. He replied with the antiquated and false notion that #6 can’t be gay because he’s married with kids. He wasn’t joking. He actually believes this! While we were dining outside, he randomly starts yelling at me out of nowhere. People stopped eating and were staring until I told him to calm down because someone was going to call the police on him. His ability to go from zero to unhinged, screaming rage is only surpassed in speed by JLo’s ability to call the paps when lunching with Ben.

After lunch, we went thrift shopping. The first spot we hit, he found a book he wanted to buy. It was $2.75. At the counter, when told the price, he said he didn’t have any cash. I stepped up and paid for the book. As soon as I got outside, I was berated for paying for the book. He said he had cash and he told the sales clerk he didn’t to see if he could get the book for less money. It was $2.75. The money was going to a charitable organization! He literally complained about everything, including his constant inability, due to his size, to easily get out of my rental car, a Ford Mustang. He argued that getting out of my own car, a Mini Cooper, would be much easier. (No way.)

After I dropped him off at home, I had a delightful dinner at El Coyote. I decided that there was no way I could spend another nanosecond with him. Life is too short to waste time with someone like this. I used my points on Southwest to fly to CA. To change my flight to an earlier one would have cost me over 28,000 points. I called Southwest and asked if I could please change my flight and not be charged the additional points. The customer service rep said she would need a reason to tell her supervisor why an exception should be made. I told her who I spent my weekend with and what had transpired. Southwest allowed me to change my flight without using any of my points; even they realized what an ass he is. I do feel sorry for his long suffering partner and the unmitigated nightmare it must be to live with him. He’s looking to restart his career with another series. Miraculously, he got a pitch meeting with some executives at Amazon. To the surprise of no one but himself, there was never a second meeting. This man is a vile, narcissistic human being.

#6 - George Clooney

#1 - Angus Oblong

#2 - "Adult Swim"

#3 - David Geffen

#4 - Merv Griffin

#5 - Ryan Seacrest

#6 - George Clooney

Blind Items Revealed #4

November 28, 2023

Apparently the wannabe Ryan Seacrest and the launch of his new venture was sparsely attended. They were expecting hundreds of people and got maybe a dozen.

Mario Lopez/Shoe collection

[blurglesmurfklaine]

top 5 childhood movies

OMG YES THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!!

Going in reverse order bc ✨drama✨

5) White Chicks

Did this movie age poorly? Probably. Is it hella cringey looking back? Heck yeah. Can I still quote half of it from memory? You bet your ass I can!

Idk why but me and my brothers/cousins used to LOOOOOOOOVE this movie and we probably watched it at least once a week, and whenever it was on cable for sure

But also terry crew singing a thousand miles??? Everyone needs that in their life

4) Elf

I could watch this movie day or night, summer, spring, fall, or winter literally WHENEVER and I will always cry because the power of love and Christmas bringing people together????

I remember when this movie first came out I actually HURT MY STOMACH from laughing so hard, it’s just truly a classic ��💞💞

Also I am gay for Zoe Deschanel

3) The Princess Bride

I don’t think I discovered this movie until I was like 12 or 13?? I saw the cover in a $5 dvd bin at Walmart but it was the cover that was an ambigram and I was like WOAH WORDS and asked my mom if we could take it and she was like HELL YEAH WE CAN bc she knew the movie.

I almost didn’t finish watching it once I started it bc it looked Old and Boring but then my dad walked in and was like “YOURE WATCHING THIS MOVIE??” And lost his shit and kept telling me how badass it was and I was like aight I’ll keep watching

So yeah I judged it by its cover BUT LOOK AT THIS COVER

CAN YOU BLAME ME???

2) High School Musical 2

I’m putting HSM2 bc personally I like it better but let it be known that the original still has all my love and respect 💞💞

I beg to differ, but my dad SWEARS that I would literally watch this movie as SOON as we got home from school EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don’t think it was eeeeeeevery day but. I know I did have the entire script memorized at one point so that when I got bored in school or at church I would just hit “play” in my head until something interesting came along and that’s why I’m bad at math

I also had. SOOOOOO much merch from this. A backpack, pants, a night gown, an alarm clock, a jewelry box, a blanket… bc for YEARS every birthday and Christmas I just got HSM shit because everyone Knew that was My Thing. And it was FANTASTIC. I was living my best life tbh thanks Zac Effron

1) 13 Going On 30

The year is 2004. I am seven years old. My mom takes me to the movies, just me and her, no stinky brothers allowed. Jennifer Garner. Mark Ruffalo. Tons of 80s music. Romance. Best friends to lovers. Reconciliation. Existential Crisis. Vienna by Billy Joel. The obsession begins.

This is the first movie I remember seeing in the theaters even though I am TOLD we also saw finding Nemo??? The good ole hippocampus hadn’t developed long term memory yet tho so 🤷🏽‍♀️ the chokehold this movie had and still had on me…. When it was released on DVD oh lord. Oh LORD I never stopped watching it. I would play the bonus feature game, watch bts, go to scene selection and watch the razzles scene over and over.

And you know what? IT STILL HOLDS UP! ITS A GOOD FUCKING MOVIE AND THEY DONT MAKE ROMCOMS LIKE THAT ANYMORE WHERE DID THEY GO???

Also I’m incredibly bisexual for Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner it only took me ten years to figure it out 👉🏽😎👉🏽

Thanks so much for this ask! It was incredibly entertaining!

Send me Top 5 Anything

[lavelans]

alright i need to type up my rook's backstory before it dissipates from my brain like a dream

iulia mercar was found and adopted by nonmage soporati parents when she was very young, about 5 or 6 years old. they loved her, but once she started manifesting her magic, pushed her to capitalize on it for them to move up in standing.

now, her magic manifested relatively late, around 12-13 years old, so she was able to compare the way people treated her before and after she developed her magic. it never sat right with her that mages were put on a pedestal just for having been born with magic, superior to those without.

worse was when she actually came to understand the practice of slavery in tevinter. she didn't understand why some were different, that they would be subjected to such treatment while others were fairly compensated and treated relatively equally. but soon she recognized that, whether she liked it or not, that was the way things were, so she kept it to herself.

she ended up joining the imperial army after her parents, in no small part for her parents' approval. she was a fast learner and quickly rose in the ranks, becoming a key asset. because of this, she was often placed into leadership positions during their military operations. she believed in collaboration and that everyone has something only they can bring to the table, regardless of whether or not they had magic.

some of the higher-ranking mages raised her eyebrows at her treatment of non-mages as equals, as well as the fact she came from a soporati family and wasn't even their blood. but because of her skill, they turned a blind eye.

some of her other superiors, however, saw her potential, and ended up recruiting her into the shadow dragons. after joining, she felt empowered by the fact that there were so many others like her with the same values and ideology as her. over time, this caused her to become more and more outspoken in her opinions, culminating in the debacle with the visiting dignitary and the slavery ring.

she is efficient and quick-witted. her way of thinking is always one of collaboration and what gets things done fastest. someone comes to her for help? what's the quickest solution? who in the group has the skills to best address the problem? and of course, this line of thinking to her time with the veilguard.

she is also confident but cocky at times. her skill allowed her to get away with almost anything, so at times she tends to run her mouth out of habit.

(that's it for now, not adding too much since this all might be subject to change after playing lmao)

[ashslaysworld]

Legally Blonde (2001)

One of my favourite movies that has absolutely changed my brain chemistry has to be Legally Blonde. I remember the first time that I ever watched it I was 13 years old and I had just found it on Netflix. People who know me know that if there’s two things that I love most in the world, it’s pink and love. I always thought that Reese Witherspoon is one of the most beautiful women in the world, and Elle Wood’s journey into independence and being an amazing lawyer was so inspiring to me, especially considering how into debate I was, and how impressionable I was as well. 

Legally Blonde is based off of a novel written by Amanda Brown, which was written from her own perspective as a woman who was super into fashion in the law program at Stanford. The movie was considered a box office success, making 133 million dollars more than the initial budget of 18 million. The makers of the film tried to make the movie consumable for young women, especially considering at the time women who were considered beautiful almost never had roles where they were smart, driven and talented. 

The producers enlisted the help of Reese Witherspoon, who was already somewhat known in the industry to captivate the attention of the public, and a movie that was based off of a woman’s real experience in a field that was predominantly male-driven was interesting and refreshing. At this time, a lot of movies which featured women as the main character had begun to show, Starting with Clueless in 1995, The Princess Diaries in 2001, and Mean Girls in 2004. 

I feel as though a lot of men were opposed to watching the film as it doesn’t suit the general masculine and male content that a lot of men are interested in. I believe that it is rooted within the idea that men are not allowed to enjoy certain types of movies due to how girly and women-centred the movies are. 

In 2001, around the same time the movie was released, the Netherlands had legalised same-sex marriage. Even though in the United States same-sex marriage was not legal, the movie brings up a gay couple who speaks in court. Not in a negative way, but normalising the existence of same-sex couples everywhere.

The movie was conventional in the sense that a beautiful woman was pining after a beautiful man, with a love story to die for, however, instead of finding her happily ever after with the person she altered her life for, she found her own happiness in her career and love in someone who really loved and cared for her beyond appearance.

When I first watched the movie, I hadn't really thought about the possible negative repercussions of perpetuating a woman as just a "dumb blonde", and upon watching the movie you will find that it has far more depth than just that, from the relatably heartbreaking moment when Elle realised that she had been broken up with because Warner simply didn't think she was able to match his level of success in the future, however, in popularised clips you will mostly really see the moments where she displays those stereotypes.

Female empowerment is very important in this day and age. "Girlhood" and being there for other women is extremely important and Elle Woods is able to handle it with grace and poise, even if she has to work with her ex boyfriend's new fiancé, Vivian.

After watching the movie again, I found that I had a new-found respect for Elle and her dedication to her studies. When I watched the movie the first (til eighth) time, the idea of college was just so far away that I didn't really think about the academic rigor that she had to go through to not just graduate from college as a fashion major, but to be the valedictorian of her graduating class in Harvard Law School is nothing less than impressive.

While I was reading the more recent reviews about the movie, I found that people tended to be very critical of the movie, saying that Elle was simply not realistic, however, that's exactly the stereotype that Elle Woods was trying to break. Just because someone is beautiful and dresses in pink simply does not mean that she is unable to do what a man in plain clothes can do. In fact, I believe that it is far more unlikely for someone to know whether a red dress is actually made of "low viscosity rayon with a half loop top stitching on the hem" or if you're simply being fooled.

[cumulohimbus]

There is a forest (& prairie marshland) with public trails about a 13 minute drive away from where I live. I went and visited it today for the first time in about a year (last I'd tried the road was blocked by a bunch of trees that had been blown down in a gnarly storm and no set date for cleanup).

It was a wonderful trip, as always!

There's a historic, reconstructed log cabin from the 1860s that guests can just...go inside. There's also an old classroom that has largely been abandoned since I've lived here. Sometimes it's unlocked (it wasn't this time), but I am hopelessly attracted to snooping around so I've poured over everything inside on previous occasions when someone left it accessible. Sadly, the floating dock has been removed from the area though :c

Not many people know about this place; a local family leases it out to the county and it exists as an educational space for students in the area, but I rarely see any mention of it in the town news, and when I've asked, most folks have been unaware of it. Unless I've brought friends with me, there are never any other humans around at this place. I love it!

I visit the forest to feel alive, and I see something new every time. Today, as I was driving down the minimum maintenance road to get to the site, a saw a blue jay in the conifers--my favorite local bird. There were also great blue herons and great egrets with massive, gorgeous wingspans. I saw a chipmunk watching me from the side of the trail. I almost stepped on a frog who shot me a flustered glare as I apologized to it in passing. I brought a jar with a few of my isopods from the thriving population I locally sourced and have been maintaining for the past couple years--I released them near the water's edge by a log surrounded by nettles. I hope they'll join with their local brethren and live happily there, helping to keep the soils fertile and healthy. As I was heading back to my vehicle, I briefly stepped off the path to go check out the largest ant hill I have ever seen in person! It was magnificent! A trail guide I found suggested they were harvester ants. I very gently tapped the side of their mound with a dried stalk of rhubarb to see if they were a defensive species, but they just continued on with their business as if I wasn't there. A few crawled over my boots, but never up high enough to actually bite me.

But I'm not writing all of this just to describe my hippie nature experiences, I'm bringing it up because there is one thing that has stayed consistent across every time I have visited this place: this gut feeling that I'm somewhere I'm not supposed to be.

The site is not marked with anything saying "No Trespassing"; there are some trail markers, "No Hunting" signage, and a sign near the entrance with a bit of info about the location that basically says "you're in the wilderness and responsible for your own safety, please leave this place as you found it or better". There's also a mailbox with cans of bug spray and the aforementioned trail guides inside.

The only part of this place where my presence would probably have been frowned upon was in the classroom (and on the floating dock while it was there; I liked to give the rope it was tied to some slack--making sure it was still secured to the wraparound deck--climb on, and use a big stick to punt myself out deeper onto the little lake). Otherwise, this place is open to the public. I'm allowed to be there. I'm allowed to exist in that wild space. If I wanted, I could probably sleep in the log cabin overnight provided I didn't start any fires, though I would ask the people who own the property before attempting that.

Being there reminds me how much I need spaces like that--NOT perfectly manicured city parks, NOT campgrounds or RV resort sites--spaces that are left to their own devices for months at a time, where the only other humans I'll encounter are any that I bring with me.

Being there reminds me how few of those spaces there actually are, especially how few allow outside guests.

One of the birds singing at the site today sounded an awful lot like a human whistling, and I froze for a second, listening for foot steps, half expecting someone toting a shotgun to approach and ask me what I was doing there despite my presence explicitly being perfectly allowed.

I wonder and mourn for all the people who don't get to have the experience of visiting a place like that; or are "trespassing" if they do. It sickens me to think that even in a place where it's completely fine for me to be, I've been conditioned to feel like I'm doing something wrong by just wandering mundanely around the trails.

I will miss this place when I move a good distance away from it next month. It's kept me sane during some hard times. It was my special little secret to share with those I could tell needed it or craved it. It was a place to get high (on some occasions, literally) on reality, to feel--for once--real and connected with the surroundings.

If I ever have an expanse of my own wild land to do with as I please, I will let people explore it to their heart's content, provided they are respectful of it.

[alexskarsgardnet]

New Interview! Alex is on the April 3, 2022 cover of The Sunday Times Culture magazine!

Alexander Skarsgård interview: ‘I nearly ran over Greta Thunberg’

The star of Tarzan, Succession and now The Northman says good looks are a mixed blessing

by Jonathan Dean (Sunday April 03 2022)

“That cemetery is where I’ll end up one day,” Alexander Skarsgård says, looking out to the yellow Katarina Church in Stockholm. With blue skies above it, the colours match his country’s flag. He grew up streets away, but mostly lives in the US, where he made his name in Zoolander and The Legend of Tarzan, plus the television shows True Blood and Big Little Lies. Oh, and Succession. He left his country 20 years ago, to become the screen hunk who brings more to a role than big hunks tend to. Yet as we look out to the graveyard, it seems that you can take the Swede out of Sweden, but even the most successful ones come back in the end.

He is sprawled on the sofa, legs spread like cranes. This is how he has to sit. The man is 6ft 3in. We have met to talk about The Northman, a violent, strange, brilliant Viking blockbuster with Nicole Kidman as Skarsgård’s difficult mother. But first a word on those Swedes because, for a country of just ten million people, they really do punch above their weight in the world.

Within minutes the actor mentions Abba, Vikings and Greta Thunberg. It is Swedish bingo. The tech pioneers Daniel Ek (Spotify creator) and Markus Persson (Minecraft) crop up. As does Skarsgård’s famous actor father, Stellan. Only Max Martin, who has written 25 US No 1s, is missing from this full house of Swedish soft power.

Skarsgård cycled past Greta on his way to meet me; she was on a protest. “She’s how we sell our country now,” he reflects. “And I almost hit her with my bike.” Skarsgård smiles. “Greta is like a modern-day Viking — and, like Greta, the Vikings refused to fly.”

Skarsgård ’s childhood was very Swedish. When he was a boy he played next to Viking rune stones on the island of Oland, and was allowed to pick Viking middle names for his younger brothers. For the first he chose Adolf, before his folks said no. Instead he went with Orm — which means snake. “I was used to being the oldest child and had a lot of attention,” he explains. “Then there was somebody cuter than me, so I called him snake.” He gave his other brother the name of a god whose brains are smashed into the sky. Still, the runes were magical to him, inscribed with Vikings who went to far-flung places.

No wonder Skarsgård was picked for Succession. If you need television shorthand for somebody young and a match for a business behemoth like Logan Roy, make them Swedish. Skarsgård’s Lukas Matsson is a rude revelation as the chief executive of the streaming platform GoJo, who may well have brought down the Roy media empire. The actor does not yet know if he is back for series four, but the word is that he will be.

The best scenes in series three were with Matsson and Logan Roy (Brian Cox) in the garden of an Italian villa. The men discuss takeovers until Logan begins a monologue about America . . .

“And Matsson drifts off,” Skarsgård says, laughing. “He is bored. There are all these sycophants in Logan’s life, including his kids — he is a demigod. So what is funny is when he talks about America, instead of going, ‘Tell me more!’ Matsson goes, ‘He talks a lot. I don’t really need him. He’s old and kind of boring.’”

It is a great role. But Skarsgård did not always have it so easy. Born in 1976, he started acting at seven, before quitting at 13. He had found fame in a TV show, but it was tough to have people talk about who you are when you do not yet know yourself.

National service followed, and then six months at Leeds Met studying English and living with a drug dealer. “I basically just hung out and had fun.” Then, seven years after he gave it up, he returned to acting.

“Dad was happy,” Skarsgård says. His father also made it big abroad in everything from Good Will Hunting to Mamma Mia!. “He’d come home from set when I was young and I’d think, ‘If he is having that much fun on a Monday morning, why am I against being an actor?’”

The visionary and bonkers Northman is his hardest role to date. Skarsgård is Amleth, a Viking prince avenging his father. In one extraordinary raid Skarsgård is half-naked, half-wolf, tripping, taking a chunk out of someone’s throat. He is naked and bloody a lot. Think the superb and ghastly Belarusian war film Come and See meets the vivid horror of Midsommar. Yet still you won’t be prepared for a nude Ethan Hawke barking like a dog. I am staggered, in an age of franchises, that this $90 million, weird violent epic was made. “So am I,” Skarsgård says.

Still, Amleth is exactly the sort of role that Skarsgård wants. A wish-fulfilment part that marries the Viking history that beguiled him as a boy with the challenging work that he did not get at the start of his career. After scoring a role in Ben Stiller’s fashion comedy Zoolander in 2001, offers dried up. “I was left auditioning to play the boyfriend of a girl who gets killed in scene four of a low-budget horror movie,” he says of Hollywood.

In Sweden he worked in films that barely paid enough to buy a ticket back to LA. That must have been depressing? “Absolutely,” he says. “I was questioning why I was in the industry.” It was not until 2008 that things changed, when The Wire’s creator David Simon cast him in his Iraq war HBO series Generation Kill.

Charlize Theron once said that it is hard for an actor to be hot. “When meaty roles come through,” she explained, “pretty people get turned away first.” Did Skarsgård have that experience? “As a good looking blonde woman,” he jokes, “I can relate.” He pauses and tries out a few answers.

“I don’t really know if that was the reason I wasn’t getting roles,” he explains eventually. “Starting out in Sweden, there was stuff about being tall and blond …” He laughs. “But most people here are tall and blond. Still, after my first job I was on a stupid ‘sexy hunky hot list’ and then people didn’t take me seriously. If you want characters with depth but have been labelled ‘a dude who takes his shirt off’, you’re not going to get those offers.”

He finds much of his Hollywood life bizarre. He’s dated a string of famous women including Alexa Chung and is a fixture on the gossip websites. But he’s not on social media, will never google his name. “This industry is incredibly ridiculous,” he says. “In meetings people are really insecure and eager to please. But it’s a strict hierarchy. If people at the top say something is good, people fall in line. Also, menial trivial bullshit stuff becomes very important to people. As an actor the value placed on how important something is can become laughable to me.” His real ambition is to have lots of kids. His twice-married father has eight. He wants nine.

Does he know people similar to his billionaire character on Succession? “A little — Stockholm’s a hub for people who start ridiculously successful companies. A lot are programmers, not dudes who got the girl. They sit in the basement and drink Dr Pepper then, suddenly, like the Minecraft guy, outbid Beyoncé on a house in the Hollywood Hills. I like the idea of Matsson being in that rat race of the ultra-wealthy, because it never ends. I’ve been on yachts and seen owners glance at the yacht next door, because it’s 5ft longer. It never ends, does it?”

Sure, but Skarsgård is an A-lister with access to great riches like his Succession role? “I live an incredibly privileged life,” he admits. At 45 he has a reported worth of $15 million. “I don’t really have to work — I’ve made enough. I could retire, which is extraordinary. But I don’t feel the need to broadcast that with expensive clothes or cars. That radiates insecurity. When you see somebody with a $1 million watch? That’s peacocking. It can feel like they’re overcompensating.”

We wrap up. He has a meeting, but then texts me to go out for a beer. When he turns up, he arrives on a bike with a practical handlebar basket and we talk town planning until a couple of friends turn up, one with a tiny baby. It couldn’t be more Swedish. He is wearing normcore chic like he has just walked out of a slightly more expensive H&M. He gets a few looks, sure, but he is at home here — and it is where he will end up.

Excerpt not included in the article (x):

"It was just a treat – when you have all those elements come together. A script that is so impeccable and tight. And someone like Jesse. Then you work with Brian Cox? It's the best ever. To play around with that was nice. I went straight from that villa to Iceland to shoot a scene of me as a viking slave in shackles, dragged through the mud. That was within 48 hours."

How not laugh when saying that daft, “You know Mark?” line? "There was a bit of, 'Will the audience clock it's Zuckerberg we're talking about?' In one version, I said, 'Zuck told me. Oh, you know Mark?' Then we just stuck with Mark. We tweaked it. It's constantly evolving."

The Northman opens on Apr 15

You can purchase the print issue here.

Sources/Thanks:  Article:  Jonathan Dean for The Sunday Times Culture (x)(April 3, 2022), Images:  Our edits, Originals by photographer Charlie Clift via: The Sunday Times Culture (x, x), charlieclift instagram (x, x), & April 9 insta story (x, x) & JonathanDean_ twitter (x):  “Delighted to announce that ALEXANDER SKARSGARD is on the cover this Sunday looking like this.”

[buckysimp101]

Deleted Scene 5- Love at First Grade (18+)

Single Dad!Bucky Barnes x Single Mom!Reader; Teacher!Bucky x CEO!Reader

request: Love at first grade request- maybe some drama with one of the kids being mad at one of the parents? Maybe Becca at y/n leading to Avery then being mad at Bucky?

warnings: preteen angst! this piece takes place a couple months before the epilogue, Avery is 13 and Becca is 12.

a/n: this is it friends, the end of Love at First Grade. i feel like i’ve done as much for this fic as i can, and i’m truly grateful for all my readers! i’ve gained an additional 400 followers in the last two months, bringing me up to 500 now, mostly in thanks to this fic! and the masterlist has close to 700 notes! 

Series Masterlist 

“It’s not that I don’t want you to hang out with your friends, Becca. It’s that your dad and I don’t know these friends or their parents. Not only that, we already have something planned this weekend, it’s Nana’s birthday,” you warned the sassy twelve year old in front of you. Her big blue eyes welling with a mix of tears and anger as if you had told her to throw away all her hopes and dreams and that she’d be grounded forever. As Becca and Avery had gotten older, they’d obviously remained good friends but they had each expanded their circles and made more friends that weren’t always mutual.

The one thing that you and Bucky made sure the girls did before going over to their friends’ places were you made sure to get to know their parents or guardian. You both were a little wary over random people watching your girls and you just wanted to make sure that you could trust the adults, and that meant trusting your gut in some cases. Avery and Becca, however, did not appreciate how involved the two of you were in this process. They’d each whined multiple times about how their friends’ parents don’t do it for you, but you do it for them and it makes them not want to hang out with their friends. You both apologized, but you knew it was for their safety. Even after emphasizing that a million times, you still ended up in this situation with Becca and Avery ever so often. 

“Nana has a birthday every year! Why can’t I just go to Ashley’s house! Caroline and Michelle get to hang out with her all the time, their parents trust her mom! Why can’t you just trust her! Just trust ME!?” Becca yelled at you, stomping her foot in anger as her angry tears spilled onto her cheeks. You sighed at her dramatics and shook your head, refusing to yield to her request for multiple reasons. You didn’t like to give in when the girls showed their asses like this, when they took on bratty attitudes to try and get their way by making you want them to leave you alone. 

“Rebecca, we’re not doing this. After Nana’s birthday dinner, if you want to go to Ashley’s house, you have to ask me in advance so your father and I can meet her mother. We can discuss this more later, now go do your homework please.” Apparently that was the wrong answer, because Becca decided that was the time to go off.

“UGH! I hate you, you’re not even my real mom why do you CARE!?” She yelled as she stomped her way out of the kitchen to her bedroom, slamming her door behind her, the noise and her words causing you to wince. You leaned against the kitchen counter, breathing deeply to calm yourself and trying to prevent the tears that were pricking hot and heavy from behind your eyes from spilling over.

A throat cleared from behind you, and you whipped around to see Bucky standing with a squirming Tessa in his arms, his brow raised in question. 

“What’s goin on here, sweetheart?” He asked as he sat Tessa down so she could run to give you a hug, he’d just picked her up from the daycare at his school and she was usually extremely snuggly when she got home. You picked your daughter up and held her close, allowing the tears to fall lightly in her hair.

“Mommy, it’s wainin’ inside!” She squealed as your tears landed on her, you huffed out a laugh and apologized to your almost three year old, wiping the wet spots and sending her to play in the next room. Bucky approached you slowly and wrapped his arms around your waist, tugging you close, and allowing you to rest your head on his chest. You relayed everything that had just happened with Becca and your voice wobbled when you told him her last words before she stomped away. Bucky’s eyes grew wide as he heard you repeat Becca’s words. She’d never acted out in such a way before, and sure she was twelve and it was bound to happen, but her saying that you weren’t her mom hadn’t only hurt you, they’d hurt Bucky too. 

“I’m gonna go talk to her,” Bucky spoke as he pulled away but you shook your head.

“No, Buck. We need to give her a little bit..then I’ll go talk to her. Don’t need her thinking I couldn’t handle it and sent you to her,” you spoke quietly, wiping your eyes as you convinced yourself that you’d talk to her later. 

“If you’re certain…maybe you could talk to her when I go to pick up Avery from practice?” He asked slowly and you nodded your head in response. Bucky leaned down to press a comforting kiss to your lips which the two of you were pulled out of quickly when a shrill squeal sounded from the kitchen doorway followed by a set of tiny feet running full speed at your legs.

A few hours passed, and Bucky was heading to pick Avery up from soccer practice, Tessa was content playing in her playpen, and you decided to go speak with Becca. 

You knocked lightly on her door, “Becca? Can I come in please?”

“It’s your house. Why do you even ask me,” you heard her grumble from the other side before hearing the lock click and the door cracking open slightly. You pushed the door open and saw Becca making her way back to her bed, her eyes still blazing with slight anger, though it had dimmed a little. You went and sat down at the chair at her desk and folded your hands in your lap. Letting the silence settle between the two of you.

“Well? Here to tell me how rude and disrespectful I was?” Becca sassed, her tone biting. 

“I’m here to find out what’s going on, Becca,” you spoke slowly and quietly, making sure your tone was neutral. 

Her nostrils flared in response as she spat back, “why do you think something’s wrong!? Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine, I’ve just got this random woman telling me that I can’t go to my friend’s house when that’s not her job.”

The anger had resurfaced, but there was something lingering under it, something you’d missed earlier. 

“Becca, I know you’re upset that I told you we can’t allow you to hang out at your friend’s house this weekend. But you know it’s your nana’s birthday and we have a birthday dinner planned, and you also know it’s been your father’s rule for years that you don’t go to a friend’s house unless he knows their parents. It was a rule we both had for you and Avery and one we both agreed on years ago,” your tone was still neutral, making sure that Becca understood that it wasn’t just you laying down the rule, but it was a longstanding one that Bucky would back up too. 

“BECAUSE SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS AND THEM NOT THINK I’M A BABY, OKAY!” 

Becca’s shout caused you both to rear back in shock of her words. You didn’t speak immediately, instead you allowed Becca to gather her thoughts and speak to you instead.

“It’s embarrassing when all my friends get to hang out all the time outside of school, whenever they want, but I have to ask for permission every time and I have to make sure that my parents basically approve of my friends,” her words disappeared into a whisper as fresh tears sprang to her eyes. You stood slowly and moved to sit down next to her, rubbing your hand on her back as she cried softly. 

“Becca, are these friends of yours picking on you?”

She sniffled and shook her head, “no…not really..they just think it’s crazy that I have to ask you. They don’t have to do that.”

You sighed before responding, “I’m sorry if this rule embarrasses you, Bex. Really, I am. But you have to understand that your father and I just want to keep you as safe as we can. We’d love for you to hang out with your friends, but we just want to make sure that we can trust their families before sending you there. There are some not very nice people in this world.”

Becca nodded her head in understanding, her breaths coming in more evenly now, and you continued, “But also, you knew what this weekend was. I have no problem with meeting Ashley’s mother, but it has to be on a time when we don’t have other important things planned.” 

She nodded again, “I know…I just wanted to hang out with all of my friends and they’re all going to Ashley’s house this weekend…I didn’t want to be left out.”

You understood where she was coming from, remembering your intense FOMO from your childhood, but before you could even respond Becca was adding on to her statement, “I’m sorry for what I said in the kitchen…about you not being my real mom…I just wanted you to feel as bad as I did…” she trailed off, her sentence causing tears to spring up in your eyes. 

“I think you’re better than my real mom. You’ve never left me. You love me and you care about me. You love my dad and you care about him. And I was just upset. I’m sorry, mama.”

You were full on crying this time as you scooped Becca into your arms and hugged her tight. You felt Becca’s tears wet your shirt as the two of you just sat there. 

“I’m sorry if the rules seem a little harsh sometimes, Becca. But I promise your father and I just want what’s best for you. Always. We want you to have friends and to hang out with them, but we also just want you to be as safe as possible.”

“I know, you both do a good job at keeping all of us safe, sometimes it just feels like a lot.”

The two of you sat in silence for a little longer until you heard the doors to Bucky’s car shut outside. As you pulled apart you wiped tears off your cheeks and Becca’s, she looked up at you with a weak smile before hugging you once more.

“Come on Bex, let’s go see your dad and sisters. Make some dinner. And we can talk about you going to Ashley’s house next weekend, yeah?” 

Becca’s grin grew as she nodded and jumped off the bed, running out the door to greet her dad and sisters. Even though things weren’t perfect, and they would never be perfect, you loved your family with all your heart. And you knew that no matter how upset you made her, one day Becca would truly appreciate the love you and Bucky gave her. 

She told you so herself eighteen years later when she had her own child. 

a/n 2: even though i won’t be taking any more requests for this specific fic, that doesnt mean i’m done with bucky requests! if you have any requests for bucky barnes, send them my way and we’ll see what we can do! thank you all!!

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[wornoutmouse]

Fun fact: demon slayer starts in 1912 and ends in 1927(or at least that's when the Tashio era ends). Using that math Tanjiro (as long as he kept his health good) would very well be alive today at the ripe age of like 78 if my math is correct since he started as 13 in the series. (My math probably wrong asf)

Power imbalance, power bottom reader, knife play,  blood but not blood play...

He hated you.

Your very being irked him more than anything he'd ever experienced in all his centuries of living. You were clumsy, boisterous, and played that arrogant music all throughout your home while walking around half naked. Well in Muzan's opinion you were half naked, he couldn't even begin to describe his disbelief at the trend of exposing skin. 

It didn't help that you had that insignificant filth running through your veins. At first he was unsure, after all this was a completely different country than Japan, not to mention your darker skin and coiled hair. But no, he could smell and recognise the Kamado blood running through your veins just as strongly as it had run through all your ancestors. 

Completely undiluted. 

At the very beginning when you first moved in, you  came to his home. Knocking aggressively on his front door already getting off to the wrong start. When he opened it, you slipped past him and walked into his living room barely even saying hello as you put poorly decorated sugar cookies on his obsidian coffee table. "This is a nice place you got here Mj." 

Muzan's eyes twitched, that joke had long since gotten old since he moved to America. 

Now that you were closer he could definitely smell, the century old stench of rivaling bloodlust simmered just below your onyx skin. At any moment he expected you to attack him in some way or form. "Anyways I'm here to say hello neighbor, my name is Y/n and I'm your new best friend!"

Your happy attitude also agitated him to no end. Even though the knowledge of demons had dwindled down to only a few select families, even basic humans were wary of him as their baser instincts made them aware of his dangerous origins. This fact had long since forced Muzan to only prey on the elderly to survive. You had stayed a bit longer babbling about some nonsense that Muzan never acknowledged as he watched you from a good distance.

"You know you really got to add more to your wardrobe than 1963 suits." You walked from the back of his home, an area that he didn't even notice you wandered to. Finally getting bored, you open his door bidding your farewells. 

Just before leaving you stop and with a cheeky grin say, "If you ever need anything just come on over. We Kamado's are known for our kindness." 

Since then he'd been on edge around you. The point of relocating was for him to keep a low profile but now it seems he'd have to come face to face with an old nemesis reborn. 

Muzan snapped out of his thoughts with a flinch as he pierced his hand with his nail. He watches the dark blood well up from the wound and drip down his wrist. In the end this world had long since lost its hostility dwindling the average human incapable of basic combat. Giving you were no doubt a great descendant, Muzan failed to see you as a true threat.  

But one can never be too sure

🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢

You heard a knock on your door, soft and hesitant. "I don't think I'm expecting company." You checked your watch and peered out of a nearby window. It was at least 8 at night, you were braless wearing sweats with a red T-Shirt and on your way to bed.  In the back of your mind you visualize your two grand-uncles Inosuke and Zenitsu coming over to make you spectate their fights. For two old dudes they still had enough strength in them to do hip breaking nonsense.

You open the door shocked to see your next door neighbor standing before you. For once he wasn't wearing a suit that cost more than your house. His attire was still expensively dressed but in a more casual sense, that being a black dress shirt and slacks. His sleeves were rolled up displaying his pale skin. "Can I come in?" A dazzling smile you had never seen before practically blinds you as he walks past you into your home.

When Muzan walks in his eyes immediately dart to the clear as day Nichirin Blade sword displayed recklessly on your living room wall above your couch. "You like it?" A hand on his shoulder makes him jump, "Got it from my grandpa, he says it's really special but I feel like he's exaggerating. You know how old people are." Muzan shakes out of his stupor. "I don't quite understand what you mean by that, however I do know that it's much more wise to listen to your elders than ignoring…..It could save your life."

Muzan replicates you and puts a hand on your shoulder gently squeezing. This was it, he'd go in for the kill and it would be over, the amount of blood he'd pump into you would be enough to watch you meet a satisfying end of combustion completely untraceable if the police were to get involved. How he wishes he'd be there when your poor grandfather walks along your remains splattered on every surface in your living room. Unable to do a thing as he's finally in his last stretch of life. 

The beauty.

Muzan's finger only twitches in the slightest before pain sparks from his own neck. "The thought of you coming into my own home unprovoked and at night no less, was the most obvious sign one could ask more." You had his hand gripped so tight your veins popped while your other hand held a small pocket knife that burned  brighter than any Nichirin sword he'd ever encountered. He didn't understand, he was quick enough to kill even the best of the ancient Hiroshima. So how did a little foreign girl like you get the upper hand?

It was embarrassing and almost laughable if any of his pillars were alive to tell the tale.

You press the blade harder before bringing your other hand to caress Muzan's cheek,  "Did you think I'd be just an ignorant descendant of an infamous hero?" You clicked your teeth disappointingly. "How naive, you've really become lazy after all these millennia huh?" You walk forward, pushing Muzan back with seductive strength. He allows you to push him into your couch,  I say allow because at any time he could have stopped you.  

Muzan is most definitely not holding me at gunpoint right now. 

The knife never wavers even as you climb into Muzan's lap, pressing it even closer against his jugular. "You do know getting beheaded will not kill me, and I doubt this petty little kitchen knife will get the job done in the first place." Your lips draw into a smirk and you press the knife closer as you trail it down his chest, "That may be true but it's gonna take one hell of a time for you to grow back." Your hand jerks down, popping his shirt buttons open.

Muzan watches with interest, your eyes light up as more skin becomes exposed. The tones of your dark skin contrast strikingly as you caress his pectoral with the tips of your fingers. "For a 1,000 year old grandpa you look decent." Still threatening his life with your blade, you kiss him. It's deep and carnal. Your lustful desires being made known as you grind in his lap. The flesh of your ass snuggly hotdogs the forming outline of his cock. "I've always wanted to be with a demon. You've had to of become a real freak after living this long!"

When you pull away Muzan's thin lips are pink and a bit swollen. He is out of breath despite needing none, "You have a lot of nerve for a mere human." With your free hand you loosen the belt of his slacks, only standing to pull them off, pleased when Muzan voluntarily raises his hips to aid you. 

Don't get him wrong, he was still planning on killing you and ending your wretched bloodline once and for all, he just needed his mind to clear itself. Your scent, your confidence, strung him along like a puppet. His hands grip onto your ass cheeks like a lifeline. Molding them between his fingers, even giving them a shake through your sweats. His nails elongate and puncture the thick fabric as if it was nothing more than a spider web. 

Your sweats are tugged off completely leaving your lower half nude. Muzan moves his hands to hold your ass again but your blade politely makes itself known. You are out of breath and clearly flustered. "Watch yourself, demon, I'm the one calling the shots, don't forget that." Muzan bites his tongue with sharp glare. He raises his hands in surrender, "Of course." 

Muzan can feel your wetness against his leg and it's driving him insane. "Hey…" red eyes refocus on yours, "You ain't got any diseases do you? And you can't get me pregnant right?" Muzan smirks hands enclosing around your ass despite your protest. "I can, however it will cost a lot more than doing it once." The odds didn't seem in your favor but you were in no position to stand down and grab a condom and Muzan knew it.

You curve the blade towards his chin, "If you are lying and give me some ancient unknown disease or I find out you have superman sperm, I will kill you." Muzan links his lips, "Wasn't that the plan from the beginning or have you had a moment of level headedness?" Your wrist is quick and precise, cutting a thin slash along his jawline., not enough to scar and it barely even bled, but the threat was clear.

You grab Muzan's dick and use your thumb to attack the underside with fast strokes. Said man doesn't react outwardly, the only sign being his eyelids lowering by a fraction. "Were you always this well endowed or did you adjust this part too?" Muzan was not amused by your insinuation. Deciding to once again display the true power imbalance this situation had, he loops his arms underneath your large thighs and lifts you just enough to thrust his cock against your hole. 

From there he let's go, making you plop down on his length, making you yelp and allowing him to lean back with a relaxed sigh. You were so warm and tight. Now even though I explained what had happened with great detail,  keep in mind that in reality it all happened within a fraction of a second. 

Your large and in charge persona was cracking.  You gripped Muzan's sides tightly as your pussy spasmed around his girth. "F-Fuck it's too….." you trail off not wanting to give Muzan the credit he was truly due. 

It takes a few moments for you to get your bearings all the while Muzan and his dangerous jaw swayed in the crevice of your neck. A viper playing with its prey. The blade is back against his neck once again making his cock twitch. If he were human this would be a dangerous feat.  Your grip never slacked nor lessened against his neck, slicing into a growing wound that dropped dark blood down his chest and to his abdomen. 

His dick stretched your pussy and made it weap on each downstroke. Muzan's hands grip onto the cheeks of your ass with gritted teeth.  Your insides gripped him ever so slightly.  Sucking him back in as if he belonged there.  He felt used and it felt good.  His black ringlets stuck to his face from sweat and his red eyes grew in intensity. 

He couldn't see much of your body, hell he could barely even touch. In the back of his mind humorous thoughts such as how he knew Tanjiro would lose his sanity if he knew his granddaughter was being bedded by the man he despised. But the more you bounced, the more you squeezed, the deeper you cut into his neck proved that you were truly the one in charge. 

"Oh God you're so deep!" Your deep almond eyes shut themselves with pleasure. Muzan could feel your legs shaking with exertion at the same rhythm your pussy twitched. His balls felt tight after having no action in over a dozen years. "F-Faster." He has no care for your blade, only wanting to cum and feel the sweet ecstasy he knew your creamed pussy would provide. "Come on human, go faster." Muzan locks lips with you, gaze hardened and intent on proving some sort of point.

Tossing the knife you wrap your arms around his neck pulling his head closer. Red eyes target brown ones as his hands take a stronger grip on your ass. He uses his strength to bounce you. The sound of his balls slapping against the curve of your ass is just as disgusting as it is sexy. Your nipples rub against his through your tank-top making you both moan. The feeling blood stains your shirt making you shiver from the cool wetness

The couch you rest on bangs against the wall behind you the faster you both go. Muzan's feet are planted firmly in the ground, his fangs further elongated. He looks feral and it is in this moment where you get a glimpse of the horror many people felt when he took their lives. "Focus little Kamado, you wouldn't want to disappoint me now would you?" 

Muzan's hips meet yours, spreading the tempo. Your juices coat his lap before finally you tense up completely into a cramp inducing stance as Muzan impaled you on his cock one last time. "Ahh.." Muzan empties himself within you with a relieved sigh. 

Maybe the Kamado bloodline could go on.

[lily-drake]

Photograph

Based on

Thank you @johannaiii for letting me write this!!!! It was so much fun and it was a really good prompt!

Talia didn’t like the process of giving birth, in fact she loathed it.  She swore she would never, and she meant never do it again.  But when she was giving birth, and she found out that she was having twins, and she got to hold her children that she sacrificed and suffered for, she loved them.  When she learned that one of them was a girl, she knew that her father would be furious and demand her death.  So she immediately summoned one of the monks from the Tibetan temple that her father was allying with and gave them the girl.  She demanded that they train her and protect, and that she would never, ever be mentioned to Ra’s.  She even killed the nurses who helped her give birth to make sure that there was no one left who would know.  It wouldn’t be hard to find replacements for them anyways, it’s not like their lives were significant.  They had served out their use, now there was no need for them.  When it was time she presented her son, Damian, to her father claiming him to be the only child and heir to the Demon’s Head.  Ra’s was very pleased with her and she felt pride at being able to carry out her task properly that her father was very much pleased with her and her child.

Even though Marinette, as she had named the child before she had given her up, was no longer in the league, she made sure she was still in her daughter’s life.  Once every year she left for “training” purposes with Damian and went to the ancient temple in Tibet to visit her daughter and make sure that the two siblings got to spend time with each other.  Marinette was growing up so fast and the monks would report to her of her daughter’s progress.  They told her that Marinette was destined for greatness and to be a powerful leader, and that pleased Talia greatly.  The man in charge of her daughter's training, Master Wang Fu, would show her photos of her daughter and her accomplishments; she wished that she would be allowed to do the same for Damian.  But the League and the Temple of Order, while partners, were two separate entities when it came to how they were trained and taught.  She smiled as she saw her children sparing on the temple’s grounds, each assessing how strong the other had become since their last meeting a year ago.

They were both 6-years-old now, and Marinette had lost one of her top baby teeth.  She wore the traditional light blue training robes the monks wore while Damian wore his traditional black and red armor with his katana sheathed on his back.  She watched her children and a small smile graced her lips as she watched the two.  They were opposites in almost everything, yet they were still so similar.  Damian’s fighting was aggressive and forceful while Marinette’s focussed on out maneuvering and tiring out the opponent from a distance before striking where it hurt the most.  Their personalities were like fire and ice with Damian being aggressive and mighty while Marinette was soft and humble.  Damian was assertive and forceful in the way he spoke, while Marinette was gentle and descriptive.  Though, like she said before they had many similarities that helped to cement their relationship.  They both were very artistic, in battle they both would get up and personal with their challenger if given the opportunity, both were very intelligent and soaked everything up like a sponge, and both were highly competitive.  The sound of metal being hit together sounded from the training grounds as Damian and Marinette fought with their respective weapons; Damian with his katana and Marinette with her two daggers.

“You’ve definitely improved since the last visit, 'ukht, but so have I.”

Damian announced as he went in to sweep his sister’s legs all while bringing his blade down towards her.  Marinette used her daggers to lift Damian’s blade and flipped backwards as Damian tried to perform his strike.  She was very flexible and graceful when she was in the air.  It sometimes looked as if she were flying when she performed some of her stunts.

“Maybe you have, Xiōngdì, but I seem to still have the upper hand.”

Marinette replied with smugness dripping from her voice as her brother glared at her.  Marinette carefully crafted her words to manipulate while Damian spoke his mind and used his to order and command.  They were opposites, but they completed each other in a way few will ever know.

The day Damian and Talia were to begin their trek back down the mountain Fu ran up to Damian and placed a piece of paper in his hands.  He bowed respectfully to the old man and looked at the picture.  It was a picture the old man had taken a few days ago.  Marinette was smiling brightly and had her arm around his shoulder while he had his arms crossed in front of him and leaned into his sister’s touch with a small smirk.  They were both in their training clothes and stood in front of the mountains that hid and protected the Temple of Order.  He smiled at it and glanced at his sister who was waving goodbye with a big sad smile.  He simply nodded and left not knowing that this would be the last time he would for many years that he would lay eyes on her once again.

~~~~~~~~~~

The Order, it was gone, destroyed!  Marinette felt tears rush down her face as she watched her friends and mentors perish in the flames of miraculous magic gone astray.  She could feel the cold wind passing by her as Master Fu dragged her away, but she couldn’t remove her gaze from her home that was falling into pieces.  What would Damian think, she had to leave something for him to let him know she was okay!  But she was never given the chance because she couldn’t pull away from her master.  They were the last ones left, and Marinette couldn’t wrap her mind around it at all.

~~~~~~~~~~

Damian and Talia hiked the trial many months later, and as they neared the top they could sense something was definitely off.  The top of the temple would usually be in view by now. When they finally reached the top they froze as they saw the ruins of the burned and destroyed temple in front of them.  Talia was the first to break from her daze and ran to the ruins searching through them to find any remains of her daughter.  Damian soon joined his mother, but it was no use.  Damian and Talia believed the worst had happened to her, and with silent tears flowing down his face he stabbed his sword into the ground in front of the burnt remains and fell onto his knees in front of it.  The sword would serve as a gravestone for the fallen warriors here, but it specifically would serve as Marinette’s grave marker.  She was a brave warrior, one of the best, and she was gone now.  Talia stood by her son’s side and soon kneeled in front of it as well with her hand placed on her son’s shoulder.  As they traveled down the mountain Damian swore that he would never be vulnerable again, he would never care about anyone ever again, because the pain he felt was too intense and never wanted to feel it ever again.

So both He and Talia took on more missions, Talia was rarely at the base, always gone doing whatever her father needed.  The training in Tibet never happened again, and Damian grew closer to his grandfather.  He trained harder, attacked ruthlessly, and channeled all his pain and rage into his strikes.  He held onto the photo that Fu had given him of the two of them so many years ago.  He had it tucked away in a secret place in his room where no one would ever find it, because he wanted to keep her with him in some way.  Never again, he wouldn’t be hurt like before ever again.

~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette lived with Master Fu in a tea parlor under the guise of Marin Fu.  She helped him run his parlor and distribute his charms to the people through the teas she brewed while he placed charms on people through the massage therapy he did.  Fu let her be home schooled as she already knew way more than any normal school could teach her.  She would just be repeating things when she could be learning more new material.  She was also taught how to better practice her magic and use the miraculous.  She was going to be the new guardian one day, she was going to be the last guardian one day, and that thought scared her and brought back all of the nightmares.  She locked that night and anything before the fire back up in her mind only remembering what she needed to when she needed to.

Fu wanted her to interact with people though, so with the money he made he sent her to a gymnastics class where she could still retain her skills and get better at them.  She honestly loved the classes and she felt so free when she did them.  Nobody could beat her, in fact she advanced to level 10 quickly and was well on her way to the elite by the time she was 13.  And that’s when Hawkmoth struck Paris.

Lady Rouge and her partner Chat Noir made a decent team, but he was nowhere near her skill level which often annoyed her.  He wasn’t a true black cat, her brother was.  He was her balanced counterpart, and this cat was just a stand in.  And as time went on the imbalance continued the boy became corrupted by the destructive energy of the ring.  She had continually told Master Fu about it, but he would not listen.  And then it was time for him to pass, and she became the grand guardian, the last grand guardian.  Tears fell down the young 15-year-olds face as she watched her mentor's spirit leave him in his peaceful slumber.  He was so old, and it was just his time for him to go, but now she had nowhere to go, but she knew what she had to do.

“Hello, M’lady.”

Chat Noir said in a flirty tone as he spun his staff as if the speed he was doing it at would impress her.

“Hello, Chat.”

She replied terse with her arms crossed in front of her as she leaned on the railing of the Eiffel Tower and gazed at the sky that held little stars due to all of the lights of the city below them.

“Are you not excited to see your soulmate?  Come on M’lady,”

He said grabbing one of her hands with a large smile and deep voice,

“let me take you out somewhere, just the two of us.”

It took everything in Marinette not to break his wrist in that moment, but she had to play along.

“Okay.”

Chat’s eyes widened and his leather tail began to move side to side in an excited manner.

“W-wait, really?!”

“You know what, ya.  This week has been really tough and I could use it.”

Chat’s smile turned into a smirk and a dark twinkle lit up his eyes.  He took a step back and held his hand, his ringed hand, out for her to take.  SHe smiled at him gently and innocently and took his hand, and as he was about to pull her forward she took hold of the rings and ripped her hand off, taking the ring with her.  There was a blonde boy with green eyes staring at her with shock and hurt written all over his face, then eventually anger.

“I am revoking you from being able to wield the Black Cat Miraculous.  You are not compatible to wield this power as you are not my balanced counterpart.  The ring has been corrupting and harming you after all of your exposure to it when you are not the right one to wear it while I hold the earrings.  Thank you for the help you have given me in the past, but I’m afraid that I can not risk hurting you any longer.”

The boy stared at her with wide shocked eyes and nodded.  She could see that he too had now noticed the change as with the ring it didn’t feel like he changed at all.  She helped him get to his house and left after shaking his hand and thanking him one last time for his help.  And as she was about to leave the property she heard the sound of something above her opening and through the now open window she saw an akuma flying out of it.

She quickly caught the akuma and crashed through the glass window into the dark room.  Before Hawkmoth could even realize what had happened she had tied him up in her yo-yo and he was pinned in place with the tight cord.  If she pulled it any tighter it would cut into his skin and draw blood.  She grabbed the broach from the middle of the suit --which was as hideous as his akuma designs, if not worse-- and watched the man detransform making sure the camera on her yo-yo recorded the whole thing.

“You will be subject to the curse of whatever your abused kwami sees fit for you, and then the people of Paris will have you.”

Was all she said as she brought the man onto his knees so he could properly respect the kwami and the God’s they are.  Nooroo appeared and stared down at the man in front of him with an angered fiery glare.

“Gabriel Agreste, you have abused me and my miraculous for too long!  I bring upon a curse upon you, that no one will ever believe a word you say, and that your craft of manipulation will only work against you!”

And with that, pain courses through Gabriel and the wings of a butterfly were branded on the left side of his chest just above his heart.  She left soon after that and sent the footage for the police.  She watched from a distance as the police took him in, and told one of the officers that Adrien was innocent and had no connection to his father’s scheme.  Once she was sure Gabriel would not be able to escape his justice she pulled the horse miraculous from her yo-yo and summoned a portal to wherever she needed to be next.

~~~~~~~~~~

Damian was in the cave training when Todd burst in and began to run towards him with a stupid smug grin on his face.  Damian rolled his eyes and watched Todd stop in front of him holding something small and flimsy in his hand.

“Demon Spawn,”

He breathed out, his smug smile growing wider,

“Did you have a girlfriend in the league?”

Damian was….confused.  He had no such thing, but as Todd showed him the thing in his hand his blood froze.  It was the photo of him and Marinette.  How did he find it?!  Why did he even have it?!

“Give it back, Todd.”

Damian growled lowly hands gripping the hilt of his sword tightly.

“She is!  Guys, Damian had a-“

He tackled Jason after that and wrestled the photo out of his grip and held it close to him.  He glared daggers at Todd and made absolutely sure that the old photo was still intact.  Once he was sure.  Todd was back on his feet and Damian had the urge to run him through with his sword for daring to rummage through his belongings and to dare touch his picture.  He opened his mouth to spit out fiery words of anger, when a portal opened right in front of Damian.  A girl walked out of it and the portal immediately closed.  It was absolutely silent in the cave as the other occupants who were also there stared at the person.  The girl was rigid as she stared Damian directly in the eyes, and he felt a familiar pull to her.

“Kaalki, Tikki separate.  Tikki spots off.”

She spoke quickly, and her voice, and those words, and he knew who she was.  But that was impossible, because she had died, hadn’t she?!  Arms wrapped around him and he could hear sniffles and he felt his arms wrap robotically around the small frame of his sister.

“Xiōngdì, I missed you so much!  I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you sooner!  Th-the Order was destroyed and Fu woul-wouldn’t let me leave a message, and-and someone was misusing the Butterfly in France (sniff).  And-and…..”

She took a long shaky breath in and sighed,

“I missed you so much.”

It took a while to realize that silent tears were falling down his face, and he hugged her even tighter against his chest.  Because his sister, his twin sister was alive, and she hadn’t died in the fire and destruction of the temple.

“It’s okay, 'ukht.  I’ve got you.”

They stayed like that for a few precious moments before Todd yelled,

“What the f*!”

———————

Permanent Taglist:

@aespades @adrestar

[artdev]

I’m probably gonna get attacked for this lol

Tommy Character Analysis

From a sane yet angry child

The character of Tommyinnit is one of the worst characters on the entirety of the Dream SMP. Yes, the other characters have their flaws, and they have all done some very horrible things, but Tommy has continuously made bad decisions. These decisions have done nothing good for himself and have caused suffering for the other members of the SMP. In this essay I will provide reason to the fact character Tommy fucking sucks and every other character, yes including Dream, are so much better and have redeeming qualities to their characters. I will give a disclaimer: this is about THE CHARACTERS not the CONTENT CREATORS

Tommy’s First Days on the SMP

Tommy’s first day on the SMP was the last day of peace that server would ever see. From the get-go Tommy did nothing but cause nothing but problems for the original people on the server (Dream, George, Sapnap, Bad, Sam, Ponk, Callahan, and Alyssa) which resulted in a ban from not only from Dream, after refusing to obey under his exile he was put in, himself but also from George. The bans were lifted but everything spiraled from that point on. Tommy was the spark that started the disc war. This was a war that spanned over a series of months because Tommy would not stop killing Dream, so in return Dream confiscated tommy’s discs as a punishment, it was Dreams server, so he was not going to let Tommy go around causing problems without consequence.

Quick history

L ’Manburg

L’ Manburg started out as nothing but a drug caravan, started by Wilbur and tommy, would grow into a large country separated by large black walls keeping everyone out and let only a select few in. After a war Tommy did the only selfless thing, he would ever do in his whole time on the SMP. He gave up one of his discs for L’Manburg’s independence, after losing a dule with Dream. In all this tommy keeps up his thieving and antagonizing ways.

The election

The election was Wilbur’s attempt to regain power and respect within his country, there were multiple parties, POG 2020 (Wilbur and Tommy), SWAG 2020 (Quackity), Schlatt 2020 (JSchlatt). POG 2020 was the overall winner but was beat out by 1% by Schlatt and Quackity who had formed a coalition. With Schlatt as the president and Quackity as the Vise President the country is changed to Manburg, the walls are torn down, and Tommy and Wilbur have their citizenship is revoked and are banned from Manburg.

Pogtopia and Manburg v Pogtopia

Pogtopia was the ravine that served as a base for Tommy and Wilbur after the election. This is when techno (my fuckin beloved) had joined and sided with Tommy and Wilbur with the promise of chaos and war. With techno on their side, they start to build up and prepare for war. The war between Pogtopia (with the old residents of Manburg) and Manburg (pretty much everyone else on the server). The war ended with Schlatt having a heart attack in the remains of the destroyed drug van, Tubbo becoming president of Manburg, followed by Wilbur blowing up the country, with assistance from techno, and his grand death at the hands of his father.

Exile

Tommy was sent into his third exile by Tubbo after Tommy once again was causing problems for Tubbo and the new L ’Manburg. Tommy was sent thousand and thousands of blocks away from the greater SMP and he was not allowed to return unless he wanted to die. After spending months in exile with Dream coming by every day and taking Tommy’s things, and tommy almost taking his last canon life, tommy had escaped exile and went to the closest place he could go. Tommy set up a base under Technoblades retirement home and was soon discovered by Techno. Despite Tommy stealing Techno’s items and just being a annoying ass bitch, Techno let Tommy stay. With the help of techno tommy was able to sneak in and out of L’ Manburg.

Final L’ Manburg War

After a confrontation in the remains of a now destroyed community house, Tommy had sided with Tommy, another declaration of war, with Dream and techno going to blow up L’ Manburg. Tommy planed with the other members to gather resources to face off the most powerful people on the server. In the end L’ Manburg lost and was destroyed with nothing left but a sizable crater in its place.

The end of the disc war and drams imprisonment

The end of season two of the SMP was the end of the disc war, after tommy and Tubbo meet up with Dream at the top of a large mountain, where the three fought to get the discs. Dream eventually leads the two brits to a bunker where Dream had been collecting the attachments on the server, like Tommy’s cow henry, Ghostbur’s sheep Friend, and open slots for other pets and Skeppy. While Dream was going to kill Tubbo he was stopped when the entirety of the SMP, lead by Punz, came through the nether portal that led into Dream’s base. They surrounded Dream and caused him to surrender, and landed him in pandoras vault, a large prison built by Sam under Dreams request. Whist Dream has been in prison Tommy has visited a few times and has done nothing but was nothing but an annoying child to an already suffering man. During what was supposed to be Tommy’s last visit he ended up being locked in the cell with Dream due to a potential security breach in the prison, meaning tommy was stuck with Dream for what was only supposed to be a week. Tommy was stuck with Dream for more than a week, like was stated in the terms and conditions of the prison, this extended time alone with Dream was bad for the both of them and it led to tommy losing his last canon life. Tommy was revived by Dream three days later and was freed from the prison shortly after, now out and full of fresh trauma.

Present events

After being revived and released back into the world tommy swore that he would kill Dream. As of tommy’s most recent lore stream there was an attempt. Tommy armed with invisibility and fire res pots, under the cover of Ghostbur paying Dream a visit, snuck into the prison to kill Dream. When tommy finally go to Dream’s cell, he got to trigger happy and took out the axe to soon which ended in tommy being caught by Sam and left Ghostbur stranded with Dream on the other side of the lava. Now that Dream had Ghostbur he would be able to bring Wilbur back and that exactly was happened, Wilbur is now back and as crazed as ever with 13 and a half years of isolation on top of that.

Tommy and His Trauma

I will not ignore Tommy’s trauma, nor will I downplay what he’s been through, cause truly been through a lot. That being said his trauma should not be used as an excuse to blow off what he’s done, if one is going to do that you better danm well not go around and ignore others trauma. Tommy has been through some horrible things, his exile, Dream’s manipulation, being beat to death in prison then being revived, losing not only a brother figure but also a place he called home, as well as the manipulation from Wilbur, these things can really do some damage to a kid or an adult. Tommy though uses his trauma to excuse any wrong thing he does. There are characters on the SMP with similar trauma, Jack Manifold was the first character to come lose all his canon lives but he came back out of spite, both Tommy and Jack went through something similar. Jack, however, doesn’t use this trauma to make excuses for being a massive prick. Jack uses what he’s been through as motivation, while it’s one of his motivations to do something bad, but he doesn’t use it as a hindrance. Now let’s look at someone has experienced the same things as Tommy, Tubbo, Tubbo went through almost everything Tommy went through plus more. Tubbo was manipulated by Dream, saw his country get blown up TWICE, hell he had to mourn the death of his best friend on TWO SEPREATE OCCASIONS, he was killed by someone he thought he could be trusted, was manipulated as well as verbally abused by Schlatt when working in his cabinet. Tubbo has gone on to build his own little town, start a family, he had run a country pretty danm well and created NUKES. Tubbo doesn’t let what happened to him hold him back from doing great things or keep him stuck in his old ways, Tubbo was able to break from what he originally was, a side kick, and has done wonders.

Tommy and His Relationships

Keep in mind this is not about whether Tommy cares about people it’s about how he acts and how that affects others. Tommy cares people so I cannot shame him for that, but despite that he still causes problems for said people.

Tommy and Dream

Tommy and Dream have never gotten along, anyone with fuckin eyes can see that from a mile away, they are always at each other’s throats and always butting heads. Dream is normally pretty levelheaded, until Tommy comes around. When Tommy was trapped in the cell with dream that was bad from the start, but the extended time was even worse. Tommy has always been an aggressor towards Dream, during the war for L ’Manburg when Dream was meeting with Wilbur, Tommy lashed out at Dream and put the independence of this new nation on the line to try and fight Dream. Now on to more recent examples, Tommy’s death. When Tommy was trapped with Dream in the cell Dream was pretty stand offish, if anything he was excited at first, being stuck in a cell with no one to talk to is pretty fuckin lonely. That excitement was sure to be short lived. Tommy is quick to start antagonizing Dream, hitting him, hurling insults at him, and just being all around unpleasant, Tommy would also take things like Dream’s clock and books and throw them into the lava just to upset him. Tommy also killed the one thing in prison that Dream had, a cat that he named hope, another thing Tommy took away just to show “what happens to things you care about”. All these things would build up over time which lead to Dreams burst of anger and caused Tommy’s death.

Tommy and Technoblade

Time to get absolutely PISSED. Techno was never a person to Tommy, he was just the Blade, a weapon to be used till he was not needed. Ever since Techno first logged on Tommy though he had scary dog privileges, getting mad at techno for when he went and assisted Wilbur in the destruction of L ’Manburg when techno had made it clear he was not a fan of government. After Tommy had fled from his exile he went to hide under Techno’s home without Techno’s knowledge, before he was discovered by Techno, he would steal from him and use them in useless ways, such as decorating his hidey hole with gold blocks or how he stole Techno’s gapples and ate them when he didn’t need to, practically wasting them. Once he was found by Techno, Techno let Tommy live with him despite being a leach, he let tommy eat the gapples, and even assisted in getting tommy in and out of L ’Manburg, he even hid Tommy from dream and lied to one of the most powerful people on the server to keep tommy safe. Techno was very patient with Tommy and what does Tommy do? He goes around and goes back to Tubbo, the man who exiled him in the first place, actively backstabbing Techno, and when him and Dream team up and destroy L ’Manburg for the second time he has THE GULL to get mad and shame Techno for it, it’s fucking awful.

Tommy and Tubbo

Tommy and Tubbo are great friends, I can’t lie about that, but he still manages to make shitty decisions that affect him. When Tubbo was president of the New L ’Manburg Tommy started causing trouble, all starting when he (and Ranboo) burned down George’s house, forcing Tubbo to put his vice president under a probation. Even after being put under the probation, he still caused problems. Tommy made Tubbo choose between the safety and freedom for his country or his best friend staying, in the end it was tommy’s fault for being casted into exile, he just wouldn’t behave and follow the rules. He also constantly pushed Tubbo’s trauma to the side to put a spotlight on his own, making him the center of attention, ignoring someone who’s supposed to be his best friend. Now, I will say, he did do something good for Tubbo, during the final disc confrontation he gave Dream the disc’s they were fighting so hard for in return for Tubbo’s safety, I have to give credit when credit is due.

To The C!Tommy Apologists

I know people are going to come after me for this, to any Tommy apologists reading this, please just can it /nm. In canon tommy is about 20 something? You can’t keep using “Oh HeS a ChILd!’ CC!Tommy is a child. Yes, I understand he’s traumatized, so is every other character on the SMP, he isn’t special. Also, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LEAVE US DREAM APOLOGISTS ALONE. All your arguments are so similar and you all thing dream, who is obviously mentally ill, deserves the everyday beating which is incredibly fucked up. Now I know not ALL Tommy apologists are like this but it is a lot of them, regardless of what dream did, he does not deserve to be rarely fed and he does not deserve the constant torture. Also please stop wit the whole ‘dream is obsessed with tommy’ shit, I can’t remember the tag for it at the time of writing this, but it is the creepiest thing I’ve seen and everyone portrays dream to be some yandere stalker and its just not poggers to be honest, and it comes off as very predatory which is ALSO not poggers. To any tommy apologists friends I know IRL this is not directed at you and just know I love y’all.

[uwuwriting]

Soulmates w/ Dabi, Shirakumo and Keigo

Request: Hello! I just read a few of your writings &I'd just like to say they're amazing! Anyways, may I request some hc's for a soulmate AU w/ Dabi, Shirakumo, & Hawks?(all separate)- anonymous

Soulmate Aus have a shit ton of tropes so I went for a different trope on each boy bc I love them all. My man Dabi has dipped the last few chapters and I’m getting kinda deprived, although I appreciate him not burning my baby Shoto to a crisp so we good. Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: angst with some fluff

 Dabi/Todoroki Touya II Interchangeable eye color

-Dabi’s outlook on love is really negative. 

-Growing up the way he did and in the environment he did, the possibilities in him believing or cherishing love and soulmates was low. 

-When he got his soulmate sign he was around 12. 

-It was the darkest moments of his life and he hated himself to no end. 

-When he woke up on that fateful Sunday morning he thought that he was hallucinating. 

-Then he imagined that this could be an after affect of his trauma, just like his hair. 

-His mind though drifted to his soulmate. 

 -He didn’t have a mark up until now and your eye color changing was one of the many soulmate signs out there. 

-As he stared at his left eye, the e/c orb staring back at him, he began to cry. 

-Sobs wracked his body as he clutched his eye. 

-This was unfair. 

-He shouldn’t have a soulmate, what good could he be to anyone?

-He is a failure and he is gonna bring down his soulmate as well. 

-So he hides it. 

-Puts a patch over his eye to conceal the new color blooming around his iris and when his family starts questioning it he buys contacts. 

-Natsuo helps him even though he doesn’t understand why his brother doesn’t want a soulmate. 

-Years pass until he finally meets the person that has changed his life. 

-Shigaraki was being a brat as usual, whining about needing new members for his little group. 

-Dabi couldn’t care less.

-This  whole charade with these losers would only aid him reach his ultimate goal. 

-He didn’t care about Shigaraki’s shitty ideologies and otherworldly desires, he just wanted his revenge. 

-His eyes scanned the so-called hide out in utter boredom, his gaze landing once again at the bar’s door left slightly ajar in case someone came looking. 

-He didn’t expect for the door to open though. 

-And as the grease old door creaked open a figure stepped into the room, clad in black from head to toe. 

-A mask was covering half of your face leaving only your eyes visible. 

-You scanned the place before your eyes landed swiftly on him, knocking the breath out of him as you locked gazes, e/c orbs baring into his own. 

-The vibrant blue on your left eye had him gasping for air. 

-It was stunning. 

-You moved to talk to Shigaraki, your voice albeit monotone and cold, sent tingles up his spine making his hairs stand at attention. 

-His eyes were glued on you, one of his hands subconsciously going to the left side of his face where his mark should be visible.

-It felt as if his contact burned his eye and he quickly took it off, not minding about possible infections since he didn’t wash his hands before touching his eYE DAMMIT YA NASTY AF. 

-His body was drawn to you, his mind screaming at him to talk to you to go close to you. 

-You knew he was your soulmate. 

-You had known the moment you stepped into the bar; no one had such a beautiful blue hue in their eyes other than your soulmate. 

-Despite your mutual desire to be close to each other you  held off for months. 

-Months of keeping distance, months of giving each other the cold shoulder. 

-It would all reach a tipping point soon and Dabi would finally understand what it’s like to truly love someone. 

-Until then though, suffer in your mutual pining. 

Shirakumo Oboro II Red string of Fate

-The string around his pinky finger always lay motionless for years. 

-It was slack and lifeless, no sign of his soulmate being remotely alive. 

-It really worried him, he thought that he might be one of the few unfortunate individuals who didn’t have a soulmate. 

-He talked to his friends about it and they all reassured him that his soulmate was just too far away from him so even if they tugged at the string he wouldn’t be able to feel it. 

-This reassured him all throughout middle school. 

-He started getting a little discouraged when he saw all his classmates getting their soulmate signs whether it be names tattooed on their wrists, one of their eyes changing color or a strand of their hair, other could hear faint music if they concentrated hard enough while others were unfortunate enough to feel their soulmate’s pain. 

-Shirakumo was left staring at the red string surrounding his finger. 

-He had thought about tugging at it, making the first step instead of waiting for the person on the receiving end.  

-But on this day, the day when both Aizawa and Hizashi got their respective signs he found himself tugging at the string. 

-At first he pulled lightly watching the string grow taught slowly and then go slack again. 

-He waited for what felt like a century before tugging again and again, more force being put in his pulls every time. 

-After an hour of waiting and tugging he was done. 

-Eyes downcast with a frown on his lips, he was ready to let this whole soulmate thing go. 

-At the end of the day he doesn’t need the universe to tell him who he should fall in love with; who he is destined to be with. 

-Then he felt it. 

-The lightest tug at his finger. 

-His eyes followed the red string as it straightened a few times before going limb again. 

-Aizawa walked in on him pulling the string like crazy, excited giggles leaving his lips when his soulmate responded with their own pulls. 

- “Shota I did it. T-they answered!”

-This whole string communication business lasted until the first day of high school. 

-As Oboro walked through the halls of UA he felt the string shift on his finger. 

-It was as if it was wrapping tighter around his finger, almost to the point that it hurt. 

-Maybe he was about to meet his soulmate that’s why the string was thinning. 

-Wait, meet them??

-He wasn’t ready to meet them!!!

-What if they didn’t like him? What if his hair was a bit too cloudy for their likes? Oh god his hair must be a mess because he flew here. Maybe he can dash into one of the bathrooms and fix it real quick. Will he be too loud for them? What-

-Lost in his own thoughts he completely missed the person standing in front of him and soon he was crashing into them, a small grunt leaving his lips as he maneuvered himself to cushion their fall. 

- “Oh God I’m so sorry, I was totally zoned out. Are you alright?” 

- “Why are you apologizing? I ran into you.” 

-He let out a chuckle as you scrambled off of him, dusting off your skirt before offering him a hand. 

-As he took it he felt his pinky being released from the pressure. 

-Right before your eyes you witnessed the red string that connected you both unwrap for your fingers, illuminating for a moment before completely disappearing leaving a sense of familiarity and warmth in its wake. 

-You both stared wide eyed at each other before awkwardly introducing yourselves. 

-It didn’t take long for you two to actually fall in love and if you’re being honest it’s was so easy to fall for him that you believed that even if you weren’t soulmates you would have loved him. 

-Even after years, even after that fateful summer, the sense of his presence and his warmth never left you; it was as if he wasn’t gone and he was still somewhere out there. 

-You were half wrong in that one….I think. 

Takami Keigo/Hawks II Name tattoos

-He got his tattoo when he was 13. 

-It had really awful timing if he was being honest. 

-The hero commission was isolating him completely, even from the few friends he had made around the facility he trained in.

-He couldn’t even begin to imagine what they might do if they find out he had a soulmate. 

-He truly wished he had a different soulmate sign or no soulmate at all. 

-He did everything in his willpower to hide the calligraphy of your name on his left wrist. 

-Bandaging it up, covering it with a watch even scribbling over it like he used to do when he was 9 and bored. 

-But at some point it became harder to hide it, harder to conceal the beautiful name that was printed on his wrist. 

-So he confided in someone. 

-One of the caretakers at the commission had taken him under their wing ever since he was a wittle toddler, he trusted them with his life. 

-When he approached them frantically grasping his wrist in attempts to hide the letters, they were both delighted and saddened. 

-It was nice knowing that this poor child had someone out there that was meant for him and would make him happy, replace every single one of these awful memories with new ones.

-Memories he would like looking back to. 

-But just like Hawks himself they knew that the commission wouldn’t allow this person to get involved with him, at any costs and they knew how far these people could go in order to guarantee Hawks’s undivided concentration. 

-So they helped him; they bought him some make up to cover it up and taught him how to apply it correctly. 

-By the time he was out of the hands of the commission *at least not in close reach* no one apart from them knew of his soulmate’s name. 

- “Now listen here Keigo, I want you to take good care of them when you finally meet them. And never forget that you deserve nice things, don’t let anyone take your happiness away.” 

-He did find his happiness. 

-It didn’t happen right away but it did come sooner than he expected. 

-He had learned about the new transfer student who began attending UA in the middle of the year. 

-He never heard their name but he knew they existed. 

-Turns out they were quirkless but were determined to become a hero despite their shortcomings. 

-After a few months he bumped into them and oh lord his wings have never been puffier. 

-He was  relaxing on the roof, away from prying eyes and loud people, just him and the birds *he found his people at last*.

-When he heard the door open he almost leaped off the building but paused at the sound of a soft voice. 

- “Oh I’m so sorry I didn’t know someone was up here.” 

-Turning around he came face to face with the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes upon. 

-For the first time in his life he stumbled over his words, a swift ‘It’s alright’ escaping his lips and before he knew what he was doing he was inviting you to sit with him. 

- “Wow you can see everything from here.” 

- “The view is better up in the sky if you ask me.”

-After a long pause he added. “I could show you if you want.” 

- “How can I trust you? Hmmm?” you teased. “I don’t even know your name.” 

-He let out a chuckle before continuing. “Could say the same for you but since I’m a gentleman I will grace you with my name. I’m Keigo Takami or Hawks if you wanna go with my hero persona.” 

-He saw your eyes widen as you stared at him, your eyes darting to his covered wrists. 

-Quickly you composed yourself straightening your shirt and extending your hand, the black letters of his name delicately engraved on your smooth skin. 

- “Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N L/N.”  

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[alicemitch09writes]

(un)loving miya atsumu

fourteen.

loving miya atsumu

Dear Atsumu,

I hate how much your face is the first thing that comes to mind when I think about the word - ‘happiness’ and ‘love’. Happiness, because it radiates off your bones, no matter the situation, in court when up against strong opponents, thwarting plays with a setter dump or when you’re up serving, or when pulling off nasty quicks with your brother or any other player, off court when you fight with Osamu over the last ice cream at the convenience store, when you share a stupid joke with your dad, or even when you’re with the people you care about. Love, because you do everything with just the right to too much amount of love, pouring your everything in it, pouring your heart in the things that make you happy may it be volleyball, Osamu, your family, Mika- not a single wasted opportunity to convey your love and happiness. Nobody compares the way you do.

You’ve set a standard for almost everything, which is why you expect nothing for the best to be at the receiving end of both happiness and love.

I hope you know that to me; you are the embodiment of both happiness and love. Because I really hate how you remain the embodiment of these two words I have difficulty expressing.

Your name literally translates to 'to devour' and in a sense, you are someone who happily, readily accepts love and happiness on a daily basis, allowing it to fill you up to the core and share it with everyone.

You are everything that is everything – the sun after a stormy day, the sunshine in my veins, the kiss of the wind against my skin, the light to my darkness, my sunflower. You are everything to me, and to you, I offer, my whole heart, which you don’t have to worry returning, because it’s yours. Always has been.

     - (Y/N)’s letter, 1 out of 13

"MIKA!" launching yourself at your big sister, engulfing in a hug, the two of you laughed. Breaking away, you held your older sister an arm's length, taking her in. "You're home! You're here!" The excitement was evident in your tone, a bit of confusion as well, at the joyful arrival of your big sister.

"Just thought I'd surprise you!"

Frowning slightly, you ask again. "But how about school?"

"I'm on break!"

"Alexander and Pien?"

"The family's currently on vacation in Spain," sensing another question coming, she furthers. "the parents were the ones who arranged this trip, because they know it would mean the world to me and I would never want to miss my little sister's big day."

The grin on your face softened, engulfing your sister into a hug again. "I'm just so happy you're here,"

"Me, too."

Despite everything that went down, before anything else in the world, this was your sister – your best friend by design. After months apart, talking to her virtually for a year, having her in person was such a delight. Seeing her home was probably the best graduation gift you could ask more.

Swaying into your hug, relishing in the feeling of her touch, Mika slowly opens her eyes, seeing the twins, finally remembering that they weren't alone.

"Oh, no! I'm so sorry!" dropping the hug, she turns to the twins. "Atsumu, Osamu, hello!"

"Welcome back, Mika-nee," says Osamu.

"H-Hey Mika-nee," Atsumu stutters.

Something unsettled in your belly, coming at a screeching halt at the reunion. You could feel Osamu's eyes on you. Balling your hands into fists, you swallowed that ugly feeling, wearing a smile on.

"Shall we head inside?" Nobody seemed to notice the slight crack in your voice, which you were thankful for. Lowering your head, your eyes easily found your graduation pin, a reminder. 

Atsumu, however, seemed out of it. Even in the presence of his first love, he didn't seem the least happy to see her. In fact, he almost looked, dare you say, troubled.

While the three of you were taking off your shoes, the house filled with joyous noises from both families, you turned to the blond-dyed teen worriedly.

"Atsumu, are you alright?"

Is he alright? How was he supposed to feel? Mika was right there! Mika, the person he's been in love with since he was 9. Love, right? She's always been his standard, the perfect girl for some just as perfect as him. Boyfriend be damned. Mika was there. Mika was here. Shouldn't he be happy?

"Atsumu?" At the sound of your voice, he worked on a feeble smile, worrying you even more.

Snapping out of it, he quirks his lips up. Before you can say another word, his grandparents come barrelling down the hall to greet you three.

Atsumu's smile was worrying.

"How I've missed Japanese food!" Mika gushes at the table, eyes bright at the food on display – especially at the seafood, care of your uncle (of course).

Laughing, the twins' father turns to her. "What's wrong with Dutch food, Mika-chan?"

Aside from sushi, there was an assortment of dishes like tempura, sauteed vegetables, salad, grilled meat, roast beef and chicken, and two cakes. With a feast like this, calling for the occasion, it was enough to water anyone’s mouth.                                          

"It's alright, but kinda bland." they laugh at that.

You sat next to your sister, Kaoru on your other side. Across you sat the twins, Atsumu directly in front of you. Catching his eye, he quirked his lips up – smile seeming forced.

Your mom was all smiles, lifting her glass up. “Well now, let’s make a toast to our graduates!”

"To our bright and wonderful children!” your uncle seconds, joyfully, loudly. “To Atsumu, Osamu, and (Y/N)! Cheers!"

"Cheers!" Everyone was clinking their glasses against each other before digging in.

The adults were usually doing the talking, exchanging pleasantries about this and that, while the youngins were on a world of their own. It only made sense why the (extended) table was divided into two – young and old.

Lifting his gaze, Atsumu could see you chatting up with his grandparents, a pleasing and polite smile on your face. As his grandma was sharing about her newest hobby, you were wiping Kaoru’s face clean, much to the younger boy’s displeasure.

“Atsumu, I hear you’ve been scouted by a pro-league?”

Suddenly called by Mika, he was suddenly on the spot. Normally, he would preen, just to keep those bright (e/c) eyes on him. When in truth, he wants another pair of eyes on him.

“Oh, uh…yeah, that’s right.”

“Pfft, what kinda energy is that?” booms his dad’s voice, ringing throughout the room. “Give it more life, Atsumu!” Beside him, his mom pats her husband’s arm, smiling per usual, but had a loving look in her eyes.

“What team are you joining?”

“MSBY Black Jackals,” he replies, staring at his plate. “they’re based in Osaka.”

Atsumu still remembers the day you approached him, shared with him how a scout agent had approached you first, then asked for Atsumu’s contact information. He was so over the moon after you told him that.

“Oh! So it’s close by!”

“Yeah.”

“That’s nice, you don’t have to worry about university and just continue doing what you do best. I’m jealous.”

Atsumu works on a faint smile, happy to hear it.

You watched the whole exchange from the corner of your eye, taking a bite of sushi before washing it down with soda, swallowing down the lump in your throat as well.

“Nee-san,” something pat at the corners of your mouth, Kaoru grinning. “your mouth was messy!”

Smiling, you could only pat his head in gratitude. “Thank you, Kaoru.”

“And how about (Y/N)-chan?” the Miya’s grandmother asked you suddenly, bringing the attention to you.

Now at the center of attention, you set down your plate. “Um…I’ll be studying at Hiroshima University.”

“Hiroshima! That’s four hours away from here?” whines the twins’ mom, to which your uncle and mom shrugs easily.

“Well, it was her decision.”

“Waseda was also in her list, but she opted for Hiroshima University.”

Nearly choking on his drink, the twins’ father turns to you. “Wa-Waseda!?”

“Dad, calm down!” Atsumu berates, embarrassed. Beside him, Osamu just helps himself to another serving, handing his grandfather another, too.

“Don’t underestimate Waseda, Atsumu! That’s one of the most prestigious schools in Japan!”

Atsumu knows that very well, because you told them about it. Just that…

“Well, she didn’t pass.” Huffs your uncle, but goes on to explain rather excitedly. “So she went for the next big thing – Hiroshima University!”

“Dad, didn’t we already tell you this?” Osamu frowns, rice sticking to his cheek. “We also told you she passed the exams.”

Their dad deflated at that, scratching at his cheek. “A-Ah, eh…you know your old man, he’s getting old and his memory’s failing him.” Everyone in the table laughs, even young Kaoru!

“Still, Hiroshima’s a long way from here, (Y/N)-chan,” their grandfather turns to you. “Why not join Osamu at Kobe University? Or Atsumu in Osaka at Kansai University?”

Shrugging, you reached over to refill his glass. “I wanted a change of pace, I guess. Also,” sitting back, you brushed strands of hair behind your ear, exposing your conch piercing. “I had a bit of epiphany when we had our class excursion there.”

The adults smile at your words, Mika, most especially.

“Well, I know you’ll do well there which is why we want you to have this,” from his pocket, the twins’ grandfather produced three envelopes – for you, Osamu, and Atsumu. To say that the three of you were shocked would be an understatement. “Here,”

Ever so carefully, the three of you took the envelope with both hands.

“Go on, open it!” says their mom excitedly, recording with their phone.

“OH MY GOD MOM, YOU’RE EMBARRASSING US!”

“Open, open!” their grandmother clapped her hands excitedly, sharing the same sweet smile as her husband.

Glancing at each other, the three of you seemed to share the same idea.

“On three?”

Nod.

“One,”

“Two,”

“Three!”

Outside the window, the wind blew, sending a draft it in (L/N) household. One glance and you were greeted by a world painted in pink hues, blushes of nature come in falling petals – spring has come alright.

In your subdivision, there was only one cherry blossom tree that was planted in the playground just behind your house. At the epicentre of your neighbourhood, like a heartbeat that connected each household to its beating. When spring comes, it blooms, shedding off its petals, scattering against the wind everywhere – for everyone to see.

A chance to bring spring into their homes, to enjoy moments like these without having to worry about leaving. Like a hanami at home.

“Ohhh.”

“…we got money.”

“Granny, Gramps, thank you so much!”

“Use the money wisely now!”

“I’m jealous,” Mika tells you, watching the twins. “you three got to share moments like these, have been for years. But now,” her smile falters a bit. “you’re off on your separate ways. Will you be okay?”

Your big sister will always be your best friend, one deigned to you since you were born and because of blood. But having friends of your own was another story, especially worth noting just how quiet you can be, which is why when they moved to Hyogo and were introduced to the twins, it made her feel settled. The three of you were inseparable, always together, a bond she envied.

At this point in your life, there was no denying the consequences of growing up.

“We all have our own different dreams and ambitions, so it’s only normal that we chase after it.” Taking a sip of your drink, your eyes catch on Osamu. “Osamu’s not as ambitious as his brother, but he’s just as competitive – especially when it comes to his future and happiness.”

“True, but a shame that he’s not going pro like his brother, they would be such a team!”

It would, years of watching them grow together was enough of a testament. The most powerful twins in volleyball.

“They’ll always have volleyball and each other. But when it comes to happiness, that’s another story.” Recalling Osamu’s soft gaze on the finished onigiri he made, the tale he shared afterwards. “Osamu’s happiness in with cooking and food.”

Humming, Mika takes her own drink, sipping in.

“And the thing with Atsumu is that’s he’s always looking forward, never once settling on the past knowing that it will hold him back. In fact, he’s always looking ahead that he tends to forget what he’s doing in present time.”

“It sounds like he’s taken to heart your club motto, huh? ‘We don’t need memories’.”

It was such a powerful motto – moving and inspiring all at once. From the moment your eyes saw Inarizaki’s banner when you were young to the moment you became manager, that motto has stuck with you the most. You love that motto, love its implication and even took it by heart.

“We can’t always be ruled by our past after all.” You set your drink down. “How else are we going to move forward?”

Atsumu stared at the ceiling before him, having given up tossing and turning for the past few hours. After the third hour, he threw in the towel – he was restless, unable to fall asleep from everything that’s happened today. It’s as though he found himself at an impasse – unsure of what he’s been holding on to, unable to comprehend how he should feel with everything going on.

Mika was home. Feelings he’s had for her…surfaced. He thinks. Atsumu broke into a sigh, sitting up, he was a mess.

Suddenly, he heard rummaging from below him, muted light glowing from below.

“’Samu?” he called out.

“Ah, shit.” Osamu craned his head, meeting his eyes. “Sorry, ‘Tsumu. Did I wake you?”

Shaking his head, Atsumu noted that Osamu was dressed up. “Where’re you headed?”

“Out.” He pockets his phone and wallet away.

“By yourself?” When his brother shakes his head, Atsumu shifts from his spot, asking again. “With whom?”

“…with (Y/N).”

Atsumu was silent for a while, coming to realization how Osamu sneaks out a lot in the past. It shouldn’t be a question and should be easy to tell who he usually hung out with late at night.

“Can I come?”

Osamu’s blinked at that. Atsumu waits, hopes. He watches as his brother looks at his phone, then back to his brother. Eventually, he exhales through his nose, wearing a half-smile as he nods slowly.

“Yeah, come on.”

Smiling, Atsumu feels excited as he gets down from his bunk and quickly changes. Following his brother's lead, ever so quietly the twins trudge out of the house, careful not to make any loud noises (which honestly, they shouldn't even bother for everyone in their family were heavy sleepers), door closing shut behind him. It amazed Atsumu how his brother does it all with practiced eased.

Spring evening was chilly, biting at his skin, nipping his nose. Good thing he thought of putting on his hoodie.

Together, the twins head out their house, bypassing their gate and turn, towards the (L/N) house next door where a figure waited.

Dressed in an oversized hoodie that stopped by your mid thighs, gazing up at the night sky in thought, in waiting.

"Yo, (Y/N)."

Lowering your head, (e/c) eyes widened slightly once realizing your best friend didn't come alone. At this, Atsumu raised a hand in greeting.

"Hey, (Y/N). Mind if I tag along?"

You shrug easily, standing to your full height. "Sure, why not."

Spring night was cool and crisp, biting almost – remnants from winter’s past.

Three teens walk along their quiet neighbourhood, cruising along houses for some few blocks until reaching a brightly lit establishment just next to the main road.

Upon entering the store, the cashier – a smiling, tired-looking woman, nods at Osamu and you, eyes shining in familiarity. A recurrence, it seems. Despite the wee hours of the night, the stillness of the silence, bright lights flooded the establishment with a multitude of goods lined up, budget meals prepped and ready, everything seemed liked a sight for any customer.

Following after Osamu, the two cruised through the aisles, his brother grabbing some chips and a seasonal onigiri, the twins nearly towering over. Reaching the end, he felt a chill, realizing he was by the frozen section, with you eyeing the selection with pursed lips.

"Aren't you full from all the food we ate earlier?" Atsumu laughs, standing next to you.

"Lest you forget, Osamu has a black hole for a stomach. I'm on my period, so I have cravings." Saying this, you stare at the selection of ice cream.

"How about curfew?" You were such a stickler for rules, this was so new to him.

Shrugging, you picked up strawberry and chocolate brownie. "Osamu and I sometimes pass off as adults. Plus, this neighborhood tends to be complacent when it comes to curfew."

He smirks. "So you're using that to your advantage, huh? Smart girl."

Your only reply was bumping your shoulder against his, putting the strawberry ice cream in his hands. Which he decidedly takes.

Over your meals, the three of you share laugh, meals, and talks. Unable to help himself, and taking a page from his mother, Atsumu takes a selfie to commemorate the moment, uploading instantly to his social media.

To any other bystander – or whoever sees Atsumu’s selfie, it was nothing more than a teenage hang out with your childhood friend and brother. Rather picturesque of perfect innocence, measured smiles, occasional banter highlighted only by the lights of the sleepy convenience store, saturated by the spring evening.

A moment that sent a lurch down each of your hearts at the knowledge that moments like these were numbered. Caught up in the moment, Atsumu desperately wished for time to freeze, wishing his life was always like this.

Nostalgia filled the night, between childhood friends – like that year of silence meant nothing. It was enough to choke Atsumu, bring him to tears with how much he's missed this. Memories from his past painted into his present with bright hues and ink, he wanted them to stay, etched on his skin - unready to have them washed away when the morning comings.

Late-night snacks ended up with the twins sneaking their game console to the (L/N)'s household, talks continue even as you three were playing video games until the wee hours of the morrow, filled with more talks that piled conversation over conversation, talking as though they had a clue – leaving you all breaking into fits of silly laughter.

Just as you landed second in Mario Kart, Osamu conked out first.

"I swear, he sleeps like a fucking log," Atsumu says, watching you carefully set Osamu's head on your lap, patting his head gently.

Smiling softly, you carefully take the blanket you snuck and tucked him in, and yourself, too. Atsumu stood to turn off the console and the TV, filling the room in darkness. However, the glow from the moon outside was enough to illuminate the living room.

"You'll be heading off to Hiroshima, right?" he whispers, reaffirming the question thrown to you earlier that day, you nod. "Wow,” sitting next to you, on the edge of the sofa, he settles in. “big step."

"I figured that I'd like to open my horizon, have a new pace."

Atsumu remembered the peaceful look on your face when they had their class excursion there, smiling at the memory and a bit on the history of the city.

"Like a fresh new beginning, huh?"

Nodding, eyes beginning to droop, Atsumu carefully brings your head to his chest, falling back. "Like you...you'll be off to Osaka...for MSBY Black Jack'ls" you slur. "Osamu's staying here..."

Humming, he brushes away hair from your face, listening to your voice against Osamu's snores.

"You seem t'be doin' fine," he almost laughs at how thick your Kansai was when you were on the brink of sleep. "'ve always been." Taking an inhale, through your exhale you say, "you don't need me, Atsumu, you never have." and then you slipped off to sleep.

How he envied the friendship you had with Osamu, the one thing that connected you both in the first place. Taking your left hand in his, fingers slotting together, scarred fingers touching against each other, he noses at your forehead, lips a hairsbreadth away from your skin.

“Oh, you have no idea just how wrong you are, (Y/N).” lips pressed the lightest kiss, the moon and the stars as his witness. “I’ll always need you.”

You must've heard him in your sleep, because you were smiling, adorably. It was the last sight he saw before Atsumu slipped off, as well. 

Dawn broke out slowly, as it always did in Hyogo, light streaming, searching almost for signs of life in the living room. With the sun slowly making its way up, light follows upwards, eventually finding three bodies knocked out in the living room - sleeping rather awkwardly with two boys sandwiching a girl, peaceful, lost in silence. Somewhat, it was a familiar sight.

Waking up to the smell of breakfast, Atsumu woke with a start, blinking wearily as he took in his surroundings. Right, he snuck out with Osamu and stayed over at the (L/N)’s.

Lifting his head, a ghost of a smile found its way on his face when a mop of (h/c) came to view, your hand still in his. Strands of hair littered your face, which he quickly swept away, causing you to stir.

"Good morning, sleepyheads!" a cheery voice greeted from the kitchen. "Hope you like pancakes!"

Fresh out of bed, with her hair in a messy bun with an apron on was Mika, she looked pretty, adorable even. Atsumu should've been happy by the sight of this, captivated even. But he felt nothing.

At the mention of pancakes, Osamu sleepily lifts his head, in alert, eyes still pinched close. Slowly, you rose from Atsumu’s chest, having used it as a pillow last night, rubbing at your eyes.

“Mornin’ (Y/N),” he laughs.

Blinking your eyes open, with the sight of Atsumu in front of you, between his legs, realizing your sleeping position from last night, instantly your face heated, darkened. “A-Atsumu! A-Ah…Um…G-Good morning…” folding his legs back, he did a stretch, Osamu slowly coming to beside you. “Did you sleep well? Does your neck hurt? Your back?”

Your concern was honestly adorable – like your morning self, it made his heart warm.

“No worries, I slept great!”

True to his word, the rest of the morning went swimmingly over heaps of pancake and another selfie.

“I fear you’ll be taking after your mother in that aspect.”

“Wow, selfie whore.”

“SHUT IT, ‘SAMU!”

After breakfast, the twins had to head back home, to greet their grandparents while you started packing. When lunch came, the twins were back – freshly changed and all. At the sight of them, your mom couldn’t help gushing that ‘it takes me back!’ to which your uncle laughed at heartily, welcoming the boys in before they both left for work.

“Oi, Kaoru what’re you doing?” Osamu asked, watching how as your brother stood on a dining chair he grabbed, pushed it against the wall as he reached up, tying something by the window.

Squinting, you asked. “Is…that a teru teru bozu?”

“Yep!” he smiled, letting the doll face outside, getting another balled-up doll from his pocket. “Nee-san’s birthday’s in a few days, don’t want it to rain then!”

“Kaoru, aren’t you a little too old for superstitions?”

“I’m only 13!”

“Yes, but there’s no scientific proof that they prevent rain from coming. Plus, it’s spring, it’s not so hot of a season for rain to fall.”

Miffed by your explanation, he turned, nearly toppling over had he not righted himself quickly. “You don’t know that, nee-san!” Kaoru hopped off the chair, pouting at you.

“Yeah, what the brother boy said!” Atsumu seconded.

“Better safe than sorry!”

You could only sip on your drink in reply, hiding the smile. Osamu gave you a funny look, amused.

“Plus, it has to be sunny on nee-san’s birthday! We’re going to-“ before Kaoru could finish, Mika appeared, slapping a hand on his mouth.

“Hey, how about I make us pasta for lunch?”

Instantly, Kaoru’s face brightened. “Yay, pasta!”

“By the way, (Y/N),” she calls to you. “Reiki’s coming over with the pizza you like that his friend makes, the spinach one and garlic shrimp?”

At the mention of the aforementioned pizzas, your lips quickly quirk up. It was so hard to find those specific flavors around Kobe, the last time you had them was probably before Mika left. Thankfully, Reiki, being the social butterfly that he was, knew a lot of people.

“Your boyfriend has my many thanks,”

Mika laughs, making you realize a little too late on the words that left your mouth. Sliding your eyes to Atsumu, you were surprised to find that he seemed relatively fine, cordial even.

When Reiki came with the pizzas later, pasta ready and waiting, you all feasted, but not before Atsumu insisted on a selfie with everyone.

“I swear, you’re turning to Ma and it’s scaring me,” Osamu tells his brother with a disgusted frown.

“Watch your mouth, ‘Samu that’s still our Ma!” Atsumu angrily bites off his pizza. “Is it so wrong to capture moments frozen in time!?”

“Wow, that was a rather poetic way of saying it,” you noted, nodding your thanks at Reiki would gave you two slices each of the pizzas.

“Come on now, let’s not fight!” Reiki says calmly, undeterred by the twins. “Let’s just eat, yeah?”

A long-distance relationship seemed to work fine for your sister and Reiki. Clearly, distance makes the heart fonder with how lovey-dovey they seemed. A peek over at Atsumu, and you’d half-expect him to go batshit crazy. But no. If anything, he seemed perfectly fine.

“Atsumu, do you have a minute?”

As Atsumu walked off with your sister, you could only watch, lips quirking into a smile. For some reason, you felt fine with that, too.

It was probably when they first moved to Hyogo that Atsumu’s eyes fell to Mika, the ever-smiling, ever-kind oldest daughter. There were plenty of reasons to like her: she was pleasant, polite, pretty, smart, athletic, and kind. For years, Atsumu has always set her as his standard for his ideal woman, even assured himself that he was at her level (which shouldn’t be so hard, thanks to his genetics).

For the first time in the forever, he thought of finally confessing to her his feelings, that chance that he’s waiting for so long.

And yet, as the two enter the backyard, the door sliding shut behind him, Atsumu turns to Mika, with a question that’s been burning on to the back of his head for a while now.

"Why did you do it?"

"Huh?" Mika looks up in surprise, letting go of the door handle.

"Why'd you to talk to him?" Atsumu felt his patience running thin, anger building.

Mika's perfect face falls into confusion, exposing the cracks underneath. This was clearly not what she intended to talk about, but Atsumu didn’t care, he was leading this conversation now. Honestly, it feels like he’s finally seeing her for who she really is – for the first time, the rosy lenses he had of her were torn away.

Him, being their dad.

Pressing her lips together, a fist to her mouth, contemplating on her response. "...I just...I wanted..."

"A connection?" he finishes for her, an educated guess.

Mika nodded. "He's still my dad, you know? I just thought...I could get to know him..."

"And that hurt (Y/N) in the process," Atsumu threw out, rather impatiently, almost accusingly. "did you know that?"

Pain crosses over her face, bleeding through from her eyes down to the upturn of her lips, hands fisting on her chest.

"Maybe you wanted a relationship with him,” shaking his head, he thinks of you “but not (Y/N)." Of all his memories with you, one where he's caught your eyes on their dad, feeling his stomach twist at the longing in your eyes, hurt him the most. You may have had your uncle, but having your own father was a different thing. You told him that Mika was studying psychology, he couldn’t help but think how ironic that was.

"I'm not perfect, Atsumu."

Atsumu scoffed. "Don't I know that?"

He was an older sibling himself. Older by five minutes, he was still regarded as the oldest, has as much responsibility despite that minute difference.

"Older siblings aren't perfect," Mika says. "We make mistakes, we hurt people, even our siblings." She very clearly wanted to discuss something else, something that clearly wasn’t this. But now that Atsumu’s taken control, she felt herself lose rights.

"Did you tell him about our graduation?"

Mika fell silent, mouth pulled into a line.

That was enough of an answer.

Atsumu tried to imagine how the young you must have felt, the horrors you had to face, to witness, how your young, impressionable mind just paused and came to a screeching halt, to a horrible realization of how fucked up everything was now - he could only feel immeasurable pain, choking him. When that happened, did it also take away the life and spark in your eyes? The joy of life?

He loved his dad very much, his dad was one of the best men in his life who always encouraged him and Osamu to pursue their dreams, always at the frontline for them, and loved his whole family. Had he done what your dad did, he would also feel just as crushed. What he did was inexcusable – to you, to Mika, to your brother, to your mom. Scums like him didn't deserve a second chance.

"I can't believe you did that."

Without waiting for her to reply, Atsumu walked back inside the house, back to where his brother and you were.

Late at night, you stare up at the ceiling, hugging ‘Inari’ – the fox plushie given to you by the trouble children – close to your chest. Mind filled with thoughts, just swimming over you.

Earlier, Atsumu had walked back in the house, the same worrying smile from a few days ago, eyes losing its usual luster. Yet, he assured you that it was nothing, ruffling your hair affectionately.

Mika then walked back in the house, all smiles – but even she had a weary looking smile. Before you could approach her, Reiki rushed to her side and the two scurried to the kitchen. Thankfully, Kaoru, hadn’t picked up on this, busy trying to beat his two nii-sans in Smash.

Shifting your head to the side, to where Mika’s bed was, your sister was dead to the world, deep in her slumber – peaceful and calm. Lifting yourself from your bed, covers dropping, ever so carefully you dropped your feet to the cold floor. Still hugging Inari, you walked away from your bed and to one of the boxes, staring at the contents – some books, stationary.

Bending down, you dig through, careful not to make a sound. From the box, you pulled out a wooden picture frame, hand painted blue, with sunflowers sticking on the top left, a few petals on the upper and lower. And in frame was the photo of the Inarizaki Volleyball Club. It was taken the moment everyone returned from Tokyo. Smiling fondly, fingers smoothed over the sunflowers, taking in everyone’s smiles.

At the center of the photo was you, sandwiched between Atsumu and Osamu, wearing wide grins. When your juniors handed you the frame, you were so sure you’d break out then and there. But it didn’t end there, because Coach Kurosu – tears spilling down his face, gave you his gift, too. Gently setting Inari down, frame sitting next to him, you plucked a small, thick, black cloth.

Sitting crossed legged, you opened it up, smiling at the familiar kanji of the club’s motto.

‘We Don’t Need Memories’

“Such a powerful statement,” you whisper into the silence.

Kita once shared that he wasn’t a fan of the motto – being a man brought by the small things, on how doing the minimum on a daily basis is already enough of an assurance for any needless worries. Yet, it fires him up when he’s up with his team mates.

Coach Kurosu also mentioned, overly fond of the motto, that nothing should ever hold you back from the challenges that life will hurl at you.

Smoothing over the smooth kanji characters, a wave of memories rushed over you – first stepping into the gym, applying as manager the same time the twins had their try-outs, introducing yourself as manager before the twins engulfed you into a hug, seeing Aran again, meeting Kita and the rest of your seniors, meeting Suna, Ginjima, and the rest of the team, being there when the twins got their jerseys, their first official match, making your way to nationals, the twins debuting their dyed hairs, the incident, Kita’s captaincy, him berating you for resigning and convincing you to stay, the painful and cold second year, walking out during preliminaries, breaking down in the club room, having to tell Atsumu he was chosen for the Youth Camp, meeting Sho-chan at nationals, resigning only to be brought back, arcades with the trouble children, sunflowers given by the juniors on your birthday, training in Asano and Yoshimichi, training the new recruits, warmer days in the club, nationals with with Sho-chan, smacking Atsumu in the face, the retirement and turning over, graduation – so many great memories, good and bad. They were definitely the time of your life, if not, the greatest. A chapter that’s come to a close, but filled with so many turning points.

Patting the banner affectionately, a single tear slips down your face, landing on the banner, what a deep tangent you’ve found yourself in.

March 23, your birthday.

It fell on a Sunday, on a perfect sun shiny day, just as your family had expected.

On your birthday, it was decided that it would be spent at Sunflower Hill Park at Ono. Seeing as it was a special day, everyone had to dress their best – you included, being the birthday girl. Mika immediately busied herself prettying you up, even getting you to finally wear the dress that Kita had gifted you sometime back. It’s been gathering dust in the closet since he gave it, unsure on when to wear it.

“It’s just my birthday,” you grumbled, Mika immediately shushing you busily brushing your hair aside to work on your eyes, her face pinched into concentration.

“It’s not ‘just your birthday’, (Y/N).” she says, lighting brushing over your eyes. Setting down her eyeshadow palette, she picks up a blush set, instructing you to smile, exposing your dimples.

“19,” you say aloud, announcing to the world freely. “I’m at the peak of my adulthood.”

“You know, you’ve always been an adult all your life.” Mika teases, brush circling your dimples. “But that doesn’t mean you should be down on your birthday.”

“Studies show that it’s only natural to have birthday disappointments the older you get.” You rebuke, watching her frown cutely, setting her blush down, brandishing a mascara in her hand.

“And studies also show that you don’t always have to have that kind of mindset,” she rebukes back, twirling her mascara madly before taking out the wand. “Open your eyes and look up.”

Gulping, you do as she says, feeling the wand passing down your lashes.

“Birthday disappointments can also be stemmed from high expectations – either from childhood or from adolescence. And here’s the hard truth: you actually want to celebrate your birthday, but you just don’t know how to tell people.”

Capping her mascara, she instructs you to close your eyes, which you do, before you’re assaulted with a mist-like spray all over your face. When she tells you to open, you find yourself staring at yourself in the mirror – struck at the person staring back at you. Mika did a great job, highlighting your features, brightening your whole face, it was easy to see now the resemblance between you two.

“We’re not mind readers, (Y/N), we’re your family. And because we love you, we want to celebrate the day you came to bless our lives,” Mika smiles, smoothing your hair.

Helping you put on your dress, even lending you her sandals, she added some finishing touches like earrings and a sun brim hat.

“I look like those stereotypical animes shown in the summer.” You comment about your reflection in the mirror, to which Mika rolls her eyes at.

“Would you stop, you look beautiful!”

Taking her words with a grain of salt – seeing how pretty she was in her own dress, you smiled and the two of you walk out the room.

“Are you two done, now- Ah, how pretty!” coos your mother, pressing her hands to her mouth, eyes watering.

“Mom, you’re being dramatic-“

“My girls are so pretty! Especially the birthday girl!”

Beside you, Mika looks pleased with herself, especially at her work.

“Happy birthday, sweetie,” says your mom, taking your face in her hands, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

Swallowing down hard, fighting off tears that have strangely formed, you smile at her. “Thanks mom.”

“Alright, let’s go down now! Everyone’s waiting for us!”

Anxiety rose up, heart in your chest as you three descended the stairs, where you could hear people chatting about in the living room. Everyone was there – your uncle, Kaoru, Reiki, the Miyas, even the twins. It was Atsumu who saw you first, doing a double take, taking you in.

And then his mom squealed at the sight of you. “Ah!!!!! (Y/N)-chan, you look so pretty!” everyone turns to you, much to your horror. “Happy birthday, sweet girl!” she says.

“…thank you, Auntie.” Your voice was quiet, raspy.

Being the center of attention, everyone’s smiles on you was unnerving.

Self-consciously, you duck under their gazes, face burning.

To your surprise, your family had long planned this together with the Miyas. What made it extra special was the fact that it was just days after the three of you graduated and of Mika’s return. An outing of two families, in a field of little suns spread across the field.

At the sight of tall, bright yellow and brown flowers, your eyes sparkled in child-like wonder. Sensing your excitement, Mika, with her uncle’s camera slung around her neck, hooked her arm around yours, giggling and pulling you further in the park, leaving Atsumu and the rest to follow after.

The adults were discussing amongst themselves, discussing where they should set up, Reiki happily stuck around them, ever ready to help around, while Kaoru was running off to join his sisters. Alone with his brother, Osamu elbows him.

"Is something wrong with you and Mika-nee?" Osamu asks him, feeling the breeze against his skin.

On the way to Ono, with the twins, you, Mika, and Reiki, in Reiki’s car, there was a noticeable avoidance between Atsumu and Mika. However, the two easily played it off. Mika was busy chatting up with her boyfriend, Atsumu looked over your shoulder, as you answered birthday greetings.

Even way before that, the two of them were masterful in their way of seeming fine, but when they interacted, it felt rather stiff.

Sighing, Atsumu’s eyes found Kaoru, who was giggling as Mika was getting you to pose in front of flowers, you, clearly embarrassed, tried to talk your way out of it.

"I confronted her about their dad," Atsumu grumbles, hands in his pocket. Eventually, you caved in your sister’s whims, posing demurely, before Kaoru cheered you to try other poses.

Osamu's eyes widened. "Are you an idiot!? Why would you-"

"Did you know that she also told him about our graduation?"

Osamu stopped at that, at its implication, their eyes going to the older (L/N) sister, showing the photos to you.

"Damn."

"I know. Pretty shitty of her."

"Wow, 'Tsumu badmouthing Mika-nee, that's new."

Scoffing, he lifted his head to meet his brother’s. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Shrugging easily, Osamu explains, as their parents walk southward into the park, where an open area for picnic was. "Almost a year ago, you were nothing but praises for her, wouldn’t shut up about her on and on and on.” Breathing out a laugh, he shakes his head when he adds. “Heck, even if she farted you'd think it was cute."

Atsumu's face wrinkles, cringes. "That was before."

“Still,” walking ahead, he stares his brother down, feeling a chill run down his spine. “you never let us forget. Never let (Y/N) forget that.”

Up ahead, the (L/N) siblings were soon joined by Reiki, who took the camera from Mika, opting to take photos of the siblings. (Y/N), who was sandwiched between her older and younger sibling, all smiles for the camera.

“A year ago, it was as though your mission was to make (Y/N) feel so shitty about yourself, all because of your stupid little crush. It took her finally deciding to leave for you to snap out of it.”

Swallowing thickly, Atsumu vaguely remembered that moment of panic, like something had clawed into his chest. Immediately, he feels a sense of shame – for everything he had done to you.

"'Tsumu, you realize that you never said you're sorry to (Y/N), right?"

The hardest pill to swallow was realizing that despite the year he’s had, devoted to making up to you, it just wasn’t enough. Actions may speak louder than words, but just saying those words were just as important. Especially because it was worth noting that, sometimes, Atsumu’s actions can be contradicting to his words and may confuse you. You, who’s suffered quietly all this time, who forced themselves to power through, who unselfishly put others before yourself.

“I’m way past that now,” determination was thick in his tone, strong in his words.

Osamu felt proud to see it, loved to see it. They were nearing their parents – who finally found a nice picnic spot, just right next to the playground hustle.

"Didn't you say that Mika-nee was your one true love?" he couldn’t help but say, egging on his brother, never letting him down on his fuck up.

Osamu nearly fell back as Atsumu tackled him, slapping a hand to his mouth, lest anyone heard it. "KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, SHITTY 'SAMU!"

"Wasn't she though!?"

"I was a kid!" he reasoned out. "I didn't know shit!"

"Clearly still don't now!" Osamu yelled slapping his brother's hand away from his face.

"FUCK YOU!"

"Now, now, Atsumu, Osamu, no fighting on (Y/N)'s special day!" calls their dad, hands on his hips. Beside him was their mom, smiling as she took photos of the sunflowers all around them.

"Oh, oh, oh, sweetie, let's take a photo with the birthday girl!" hooking her arm around her husband's she didn't give him time to back out before dragging him with her, smiling sweetly at her sons. "And no fighting, Atsumu, Osamu, it's a special day!"

Speaking of special day, Atsumu’s eyes turned to the fields, where you were – feeling his heart settle at your familiar frame, your gentle expression as you gazed at the vibrant yellow sunflowers. He remembered that field trip when they were younger, remembered where your eyes were staring, dug through the display when no one was looking and snuck it in his bag, feeling giddy all over, remembered the smile that came to your face.

It was brighter than any of the sunflowers.

Under the clear blue skies, the sun was shining bright, smiling down on everyone – especially a particular group down at Ono Sunflower Hill Park, circling a girl dressed in white, balloons in hands, all wearing smiles as they sang to greet her.

Their singing echoed out in the field, the wind carrying on their love for the girl in the middle, the girl whose heart was just filled with love with everyone around her.

A simple white cake, decorated in the same flowers that surrounded them was presented to her, and a single candle stood alit, waiting.

When the singing dwindled down, the girl stared at her cake, closed her eyes, and then blew.

She was now 19.

What a lovely day to be loved, feel loved, and be celebrated by love.

Emboldened by his talk with Osamu, brought also by epiphany, Atsumu finds himself carefully approaching Mika.

“Mika-nee, can we talk?”

Reiki, having sensed the mood, excused himself, but not before kissing his girlfriend on the forehead and taking Kaoru with him away from the playground.

Squirming under his gaze, remembering his blow-up on her days before, she fixes him a pleading look. "Atsumu, look, I don't want to fight with you-"

"I'm not sorry for blowing up on you like that, Mika-nee.” He starts, meaning every word. “But I am sorry for intruding into your family business. I just care for (Y/N), she's..." he swallows thickly. "she's been through so much."

Mika’s expression softens, eyes shining. "You really care a great deal about (Y/N), huh?"

“Always have, always will.”

“I’m glad.”

Mika smiles sweetly at him, fiddling with her hands. “It’s just…he’s still my dad, what he did was unforgivable, but the idea of reconnecting with him,” she sniffles, wiping a tear. “how could I not? And then I thought, that maybe (Y/N) would be on board with the idea…” she shakes her head, laughing incredulously. “Clearly, I forgot that I can’t force it on her, can’t fix the trauma he did.” Her face pinches, pained and regret.

The old Atsumu would have rushed and comforted her, assured her that she did great. Emphasis on the old, the Atsumu now just stared, letting her wallow on her mistake.

Covering her face, she groaned into it, before fixing herself up, slapping her cheeks together. “Wooh! How embarrassing of me! Looks like I’ve got a long way to go!” she laughs. Atsumu can’t help but laugh with her.

Even now, her ability to smile through the pain, shoulder her burdens, amazes him. There was a reason he admired this young woman before him, but seeing her open up to her flaws made him admire her even more.

And then he felt it, the urge, something clawing at his chest, words that needed to be said.

“Mika-nee, actually,” the older girl looks up at him, waits patiently. “I…I like you.” Back when he was younger, he had envisioned the perfect confession – something almost like this, with the sun setting behind them, painting them in the afterglow. That was one of his two options for confessing, the other being in the letter he poured his heart in, with your help. “I liked you, Mika-nee.”

It feels freeing to finally say that, to let the person know how much they meant to them. Even if it were no longer the case.

She smiles, sweetly again. “I know.”

Atsumu looks up at her, surprised. Mika’s smile remains.

“E-Eh?”

“I received your letter,” his eyes widen, confusion crawling over. “(Y/N) snuck it into my things before I left for the Netherlands.”

You did that for him? You.

Looking back, his eyes could only widen, realizing that it had been during the incident. Atsumu is assaulted with guilt all over again, brought by your unselfishness, just unsure with what he could say.

“I always thought that it would be the two of you, you know? You three were thick as thieves, enough to rival the three musketeers. But you and (Y/N)? I always felt like there was a great bond between you two.”

“N-Nee-san…actually…I-“ Everything he did to you in the year following the incident came to mind, his self-hate rising, Mika deserved to know.

Instead, she gently shakes her head. “It’s not me you should be telling that to, Atsumu. It’s (Y/N).” taking his arm in her hand, she cups his chin, (e/c) eyes meeting his honey browns, smiling and squeezing on to him arm encouragingly. “Go.”

Coming to, he nods and quickly starts running. Before fully leaving the playground, Mika calls him. “Oh, and Atsumu? Thank you so much for your feelings!”

“Osamu,”

“Hm?”

“Remember when you told me about your first love?”

“…yeah.” He sighs, heavily. “The umeboshi to my onigiri.”

“That’s a funny analogy,” with your arm over his, you leaned against his shoulder as the two of you walked along the pat. “but very fitting for someone you love.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it off. What’s yours?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” you look to the field.

“Ah, yes.” Osamu nods, following your gaze. “Sunflowers.”

Leaning against his arm, you murmur. “…he’s my sunflower, Osamu.”

Osamu doesn’t say anything for a while, watching how Kaoru and Reiki raced beside them. Two people missing from their group. “I know he is.”

“And you’re my chicken noodle soup.”

He snorts, looking down at you. “Why?”

“It’s my comfort food, remember? Also, you’re my best friend. You should feel honored.”

“Strange analogy you got there.” He waves at his grandparents, enjoying themselves watch the children play in the fountains.

“Not as strange as your umeboshi and onigiri,” you remind him, teasingly.

Rolling his eyes at that, he can’t deny the gentleness of your voice, its weight and wistfulness.

“Thanks for being my best friend, Osamu.”

Patting his hand over yours, he replies. “Always.”

Breaking away, you smile gratefully at him. He lets you walk off from him, taking a new path.

“Stop sounding like you’re about to die, (Y/N). S’not funny.”

Laughing, you could only tuck your hands behind you. “I’m just feeling nostalgic!”

“Where’re you going?”

“For a walk!”

“Geez, aren’t you tired of walking?”

“Nope,” and you walk further in the new path, Osamu watches you go, but doesn’t follow.

With all his heart, he wishes, for your birthday, all the best for you. Keeping his eyes on white, it slowly shrinks as you walk further and further, away and away, until you were out of sight.

Huffing and puffing, he looked around wildly, searching for (h/c) in a white dress. Atsumu almost cursed at how big of an area the park was, felt pathetic that he was winded out after some runs – he was a fucking athlete, god damn it! About to join a pro-fucking-league-

"Are you looking for someone?" a voice asked him, turning, Atsumu nearly sagged in relief when he found who he was looking for.

You.

"You," he says breathlessly, lips stretched into a wide smile.

Your face scrunched into a light frown, wondering, before producing a handkerchief in your hands, patting his sweaty face. “Have you been running around the park?”

“Nah, just now.” Your frown softens a bit. “Like I said, I was looking for you.”

Tilting your head to the side, confused, you asked. “Why?”

Atsumu opened his mouth, only to stop, realization getting the best of him. Shiiiiiiit.

Suddenly shy, he laughed it off, nervously, uncaring that people were looking at him funny. Concerned washed over your features, which warmed him from the inside, especially with you looking at him all pretty like that. But heck, even without the makeup, you were something else.

“Come on,” you opened a hand to him, an invitation.

Atsumu stared at it, at the scar on your middle finger. Placing his in yours, his larger hand over yours, the two of you began to walk hand-in-hand. You took him by the fields, deep in, as though to hide you amongst the flowers, to be one with them, to a secret place for you both.

For all his life, he couldn’t imagine having to miss out on the feeling, like everything he’s known his whole life is nothing compared to the bright, vibrant yellows and browns around him, in the girl dressed in white, leading him through. And he let you.

How is it that he’s never noticed? Why had he never thought of seeing you? It feels as though he’s led a life blind.

With a tug, the two of you exit the field and into a clearing, all Atsumu can focus on was your smile.

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” you laugh, walking a few steps to the path. “walking across a sunflower field, I mean.”

Atsumu can’t keep his eyes off your smile, even as the both of you sit on the grass, facing the famed 'Sunflower Tower' made of Mikage granite.

The two of you found yourselves in your little hideaway, with nothing but the sky, the sun, the flowers, and the tower, and of course, each other.

“Sounds like something fresh outta a fairy tale,”

Nodding, you fold your legs, drawing your knees near. “Sunflowers are quite tall, after all. Tall and tough flowers.”

“Like me?”

Laughing, your turn to him, staring at him for a while. “Maybe. Especially with your blond dye.”

At the mention of his hair, he runs a hand through it. “…I’m, uh, thinking of keeping it.”

“You should,” your eyes follow his hands carding through his hair, dark roots slowly showing through. “it’ll be your signature look.”

Running a hand through the back of his hair, he fists them there, unable to look away from you.

You.

Amazing, smart, patient, kind, selfless, beautiful you.

“(Y/N)…” your name came easy through his mouth.

Tilting your head, letting strands of hair slip off your shoulders, you parrot back, “Atsumu…”

Just when did everything seem to feel different between you two? And just how long had he missed the way you look bathed in the sunlight?

Fidgeting a little, Atsumu could feel his strength leave him, being at the receiving end of your gaze. However, looking up, he also draws strength from them.

“I, uh, I kept them,” at your frowned confusion, he shyly – oh so quietly, adds, “your letters.”

Immediately, your face burns, feeling goosebumps run all over your spine. “Ugh,” slapping your hands over your eyes, you wish you could also slap the cringe away. “why.”

Atsumu smiles, despite your apparent horror, shrugging easily.

“It’s a reminder, I guess. A reminder that someone actually liked me. Genuinely and truly. Thought of me. Appreciated me. Written and practically poured her heart out in paper, when it’s the fucking twenty first century. Living proof that someone did that for me, but I was the asshole who humiliated her for something so genuine and heartfelt.”

You would’ve argued then and there, having seen the many love letters he and his brother received from his fan club over the years. And yet, the only one he recognizes are yours.

“Atsumu,” words were failing you, so you just sighed. “that’s behind us now.”

But the look on his face wouldn’t go away, eyes darkening – a dangerous storm brewing, festering.

"You can't return my feelings,” you say kindly. “that's not your fault neither is it your problem."

"Y-Yeah, but I could at least try to-"

"Atsumu, stop. Just, stop.” Turning to him, you take his hand in yours – the one with a scar, fingers rubbing comfortingly. “Please.” You’ve thought about it for a while, a long while, it needed to be said. “I'm not going to force you to like me back, it's not right and it's just wrong. Just because I liked you doesn't mean you're obligated to return my feelings when you clearly don't like me like that. That's that."

"B-But-"

"Besides, I've already accepted it – that my feelings can't reach you." swallowing down it all - the heartache and pain, you lifted your gaze and offered a smile. "If all you're worried about is me forgiving you, rest assured that I have."

"But I don't deserve your forgiveness!" he all but screams, shocking you, his eyes were wet and filled with so much remorse, pain, helplessness, and regret. "I've been an ass to you, (Y/N)! I hurt you while you were already hurting," he remembered having to listen to your cries, muffled behind your hands, the forced smiles, the pained look in your eyes, your back turned to him, his panic of not being able to find you during practice. The realization of the distance between both of you because of him. "I walked around you even though you were breaking from the inside. I might as well be worse than your deadbeat, asshole of a father because I wasn't there for you. I hurt you just as he did! I failed you! I-I-"

A gentle hand touched his elbow, shaking him, he looks up, meeting your kind (e/c) gaze. And that smile, that same kind smile that stretched to your eyes, reflecting an oh so loving gaze he knew he didn't deserve. Even without saying a word, you understood everything he wanted to say, all the sorries that's been resting on his tongue, heavy with the weight of his sins, of the burdens of hurting you, of the love he's had and continue to have for you.

He didn't deserve you.

You didn't deserve him.

But you both loved each other just as much.

"(Y-Y/N)," his voice was barely a whisper, wet and croaking. "I'm so sorry...!"

Enveloping you into a hug, he cries into your shoulder, repeatedly saying “I’m sorry” over and over again.

And you just hold him, caressing his head with your other hand.

“I’ll always love you, Atsumu,” your confession just tore at him, tears leaking more. “you will always be my first love, and that will never change.”

Atsumu hugs you tighter, cries harder. “I love you, too.”

When you let go, there was a smile on your face – a radiant, bright, reflected in your eyes that it brightened up your whole face. Like a sunflower greeting the sun, Atsumu found himself smiling, too. Released from the embrace, in his eyes, he feels his heart fill with a bittersweet sense of warmth and twinge.

Despite it all, it still felt good. It felt really good. Talking to you, settling things with you, loving you – it felt right.

Certain people come into our lives whether we like it or not, and you were no exception.

Sadly, just because you came into their life doesn’t automatically guarantee that they’ll stay with you forever. You can only have them for a time.

One of them may end up as your first love, but it's not guaranteed that they will be your last. They'll be just that - your first love, the first person you offered your heart to, but not the person who gets to keep it.

You were his forever person, the first love he realized too late.

end.