#i bought this book for my mother's birthday <3

[women-loving-art]

Mary Oliver, I don't want to live a small life, from Red Bird

[whytheylosttheirminds]

I Remember Everything - Rafe Cameron (Chapter 2)

Summary: You left the island two years ago, leaving the love of your life a shattered man in your wake. Now, when you return, you find the sweet boy you once loved has transformed into a monster of a man. How can you detangle the real Rafe from the terrible things he's done?

Timeline: begins toward the end of obx season 3 and is mostly canon.

Content: this story contains sexual content, alcohol and drug abuse, and brief mentions of violence. All chapters are 18+, minors do not interact!

(Prologue and Chapter 1)

You tried to close the door quietly behind you, wincing everytime it creaked, but as you tiptoed through the foyer into the living room you quickly realized your stealth was of no use. Your mother sat in her chair in the corner of the room, flipping the page on whatever cheesy self-help book she was worshiping today. She looked up at you and then to the oversized clock on the wall pointedly.

“Really? Sitting up under a single lamp light?” You rolled your eyes. “What are you gonna say next, ‘where have you been young lady?’”

“Actually, I was just going to ask if you had a good night,” she said in her all-too-familiar-guilt-trip tone. “But since I’m apparently such a stereotype, maybe I should ask where you’ve been. I’ll be the overbearing mother you’ve made up in your head.”

You just sighed. “I’m not doing this with you, goodnight mom.”

“Don’t forget we’re having dinner at the island club tomorrow night!” She called after you. “Just you, me, and Chip.”

You winced. “I don’t know if the Island Club is really my vibe anymore, mom.”

“Y/N,” your mother said in warning. “The other 51 weeks of the year, you are welcome to walk around like you’re better than all of us. But this week is my week and I want to have dinner at the Island Club with my daughter and my fiancé.”

In your twenty years on earth, you’d had approximately one million fights with your mother. You were wise enough by now to know which ones you were going to lose.

You sighed in defeat, “Alright mom, I’ll be there.”

Like she said, it was just one week and then you could get the hell out of here. Thinking of the night you just had with a pang of sadness, you thought, this time maybe for good.

Two Years Ago…

“Happy birthday, baby,” Rafe said, beaming.

“Rafe what did you do?” You asked.

“Got you something,” he shrugged, his casual tone betrayed by the big, bright smile on his face, his dimples on full display. He looked so excited it made your heart swell.

“You got me a car?” You said in disbelief.

“Not just a car, your dream car!” He extended his long arms, displaying the vehicle like a Price-is-Right model.

“You actually bought me a car?” You said quietly, shaking your head in awe.

“Do you like it?” He asked, now wringing his hands nervously. His sudden timidness made you weak, wanting to hold him in his vulnerability.

“Baby,” you said quietly before suddenly breaking out in a run toward him, leaping into his arms. Even in his surprise, he caught you, like he always did. 

You tucked your head into the crook of his neck as your arms and legs wrapped around him. He held you back so tightly, you thought he might never let go. 

“I love it,” you mumbled into his skin. “You have no idea.”

He pulled his head back to get a look at you. You had tears in your eyes as you beamed back at him.

“I love you,” you said before dropping a gentle kiss to his lips.

“You have no idea,” he said, before kissing you back harder. 

The kiss turned more passionate as he started walking the two of you toward the car, removing one hand from you to open the door to the back seat. He lowered you in slowly, both of you laughing into the kiss. You scooted backward to the other side of the back seat, pulling your legs to your chest to make room for him. For a moment, he just stood in the open door, taking you in. You giggled nervously under his hungry gaze.

“You gonna join me?” You asked, taunting him with the low, sexy voice you knew made him crazy.

“Just wanna look at you for a sec,” he explained. “Wanna remember.”

You leaned forward and started to crawl towards him, hands and knees sinking into the soft leather seat. 

“You have your whole life to look at me, baby,” you assured him. 

Once you were close enough to him, you stretched your neck forward and kissed him again, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him into the car with you. He gladly obliged and shut the door behind him. Once he was settled, you threw your leg over him and climbed in his lap, arms outstretched past either side of his head to hold onto the seat back behind him. 

“You're not gonna hit the road in the middle of the night and leave me here now that you’ve got your own ride?” He asked, close enough to your lips that you could feel his breath sweep across them as he talked.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you promised. “Unless you’re in the seat right next to me.”

You leaned in to kiss him again, but he pulled back before your lips met. You furrowed your brows in confusion.

“I got you another gift,” Rafe said.

“Rafe,” you said, “you already got me a car. I don't know what could possibly top that.”

Removing one of his hands from your hips, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a little black box.

“Open it and find out,” he held the box out to you.

With wide eyes, you took what was clearly a jewelry box from him and opened it slowly. Rafe reached up to turn on the car light so you could better see what was inside. It was a dainty gold ring, twisting around itself to make a small knot right in the middle. It was simple, but so beautiful.

“It’s a promise ring,” he explained.

You watched him watching you, realizing he was nervous, afraid you were about to reject his gesture. You could tell by the look on his face that he had more he was struggling to say, so you silently reached out your hand and placed it on his cheek, letting him know you were listening, that he was safe.

He nuzzled his head into your soft hand and closed his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. After a moment, he opened them into yours and took a deep breath.

“You are…everything,” he said, eyebrows knit together in sincerity. As if he could somehow look at you hard enough to make you understand. “I don’t care what our parents say, or what all the people on this fucking island say, you are it for me, y/n. I will love you forever. Even if they cut us off, if we have no money and have to live out of the back of this car, I don’t care, I want you. Forever.”

He searched your face for any sign that you’d reject him, or laugh at his earnest desperation. You’d never treated him like that before, but he had been raised to believe that vulnerability was weakness, and even with all the loyalty you’ve shown him, he couldn’t fight the thought that when he told you what he was really feeling, you’d shoot him down.

Instead, you simply said, “Well, am I going to have to put it on myself?”

He laughed, relief spreading through his chest. He took the box from you and removed the ring, slipping it on your left ring finger before placing a kiss over it.

You grabbed his face with both hands and looked at him hard, praying he’d believe you when you swore, “I will love you forever, Rafe Cameron.”

His lower lip flinched slightly as he fought back the tears he could feel springing up. He kissed you quick, hoping you didn’t notice. You did notice, but you kissed him back to take his mind off of it, knowing how much he hates crying in front of people. You slid your hands back to tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging gently in appreciation as he moved his lips to your neck. 

“Don’t leave any marks,” you whined. “My mom…”

“You’re 18 now, baby, she can’t do shit,” he mumbled before going back to sucking on the tender spot at the base of your neck. 

“Yeah, except stop feeding me and kick me out of the house,” you protested, though not exactly pushing him away.

“Like I said, we’ll just live in this car,” he joked. 

“Or,” you said, pulling back from him to separate his lips from your skin before it could change color, “you could leave your mark somewhere she can’t see.”

With those words, you lifted your shirt over your head. Rafe watched hungrily, your words and movements making him grow harder than he already was. You smirked as you pressed down on him, making him hiss. Eyes locked to his, you reached back to unclasped your bra, letting the straps slide away as you revealed yourself to him slowly.

“Fuck,” he whispered as he took you in. He’d seen you naked countless times now, but the way he always looked at you like it was the very first time was the hottest thing in the world to you. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” With those words, he sunk his head down and started pressing gentle kisses to the top of your breasts. 

“I love when you talk to me like that, baby,” you gasp and arch your back as he captures the sensitive skin just above your nipple between his lips and starts sucking, taking you up on your suggestion to mark you somewhere no one will see. 

 You grab the back of his neck for stability, lightly letting your painted nails sink into his skin, the blissful pain of it making his hips buck up into yours. You moan as his length presses perfectly against your clit. You’re so wet you wonder if it's soaked through to his jeans yet.

“You like this?” He asked before releasing his lips and sinking into a spot on your other breast to add to the masterpiece he was leaving on your skin.

“I love it,” You answered.

“It’s your day, baby, just wanna make you feel good,” he told you.

“You always make me feel good,” you whimpered as you continued to writhe on him.

He pulled his mouth from you suddenly and moved his hands to your ass, holding you up so you couldn’t push down on him anymore. You pouted slightly, and he smirked at your neediness. 

“Today’s all about you,” he said. He moved you off of him and laid you down on the seat, kneeling so he could hover over you. He caged you in with an arm at either side of your head. You twisted your neck to look at his arm, admiring the veins that ran up the side, committing the sight to memory. You loved everything about your boyfriend’s body, but something about his arms really drove you wild. Impulsively, you leaned over and placed a kiss on the inside of his forearm, loving how soft his skin was. 

The gentleness of the moment made his skin break out in goosebumps and he looked down at you with hearts in his eyes. The only thing in the world he wanted at that moment was to make you feel how in love with you he is, so he lowered himself between your legs and got to work on your third gift of the day.

Now…

Rafe had two meetings today to sell some of the melted gold, both of which went exactly how he’d hoped. He didn’t understand how the high from the sale could wear off so quickly. So, like most nights, he found himself at the Island Club bar, three bourbons deep. He chuckled to himself, shaking his head at the conversation he just had with Topper about Sarah not answering his calls. 

“What a cuck,” he said to himself under his breath. 

Little did he know that just a few yards away, inside the club dining room, the girl he used to regularly ditch all of his friends for was sitting down to dinner.

You liked Chip just fine, he was a deputy at the sheriff’s department and though you had never been a huge fan of cops, he seemed to genuinely care about helping people. He made your mom happy, and she appears to have worked through some of the anxiety issues she had in your teens, which you were grateful for.

Even though you were tucked in a dark corner of the Island Club dining room, you and your mother still clocked all of the stares from nosy neighbors, wine moms, and kids you grew up with. It was like an Elvis sighting, after the wildfire of rumors that had engulfed the island after your disappearance two years ago. Chip, however, seemed to be none the wiser to your storied past. You didn’t know if your mom had told him all that had happened, and you kind of hoped she wouldn’t. He seemed like a simple guy with a simple view of the world, and you’d appreciate it if your mom would let him stay that way.

Chip was telling a story about one of his coworkers getting their arm stuck in the vending machine, when a commotion from outside the restaurant cut him off.

“I pay just as much as all of you assholes!” A man’s voice bellowed through the open windows.

Your heart froze and you closed your eyes, recognizing the voice immediately. When you looked up, you caught your mother’s glare, she had apparently placed the voice, too. 

A glass shattered, followed by the voice yelling, “take your fucking hands off me, douche bag!”

“I’m just going to…” you set your napkin on the table and pushed your chair back.

“Y/N,” your mother said in warning. “We’re having dinner.”

“I’m just going to make sure everything is okay,” you said, hoping she didn’t realize that you were trying to convince yourself you had a reason to go out there just as much as you were trying to convince her. 

“You’re not here for him,” she said. “You’re supposed to be here for me, for your family.”

Chip’s eyes darted quickly back and forth between you and your mother, totally lost. The two of you gave each other a look that clearly had years of history behind it, and he decided he might want to just stay in the dark.

“I’ll be right back,” you said definitively, standing from the table. Your mother sipped her wine bitterly as she watched you go.

You made your way out onto the patio, following the booming of Rafe’s voice over to the bar. He was face-to-face with another member, a middle aged man who was jabbing his finger into Rafe’s chest as he yelled at him.

“Everyone here is just trying to have a nice evening and you’re over here running your mouth,” the man spat.

Rafe shoved the man’s hand away from him and looked to the much younger woman who was standing behind him.

“I’m sorry for ruining your date with grandpa here, sweetheart,” he joked loudly. “If you ever want to be with a guy who can get it up without a truckload of Viagra, you give me a call, gorgeous.”

The man shoved Rafe and he stumbled backward, laughing, clearly drunk.

“Woah there cowboy,” Rafe chuckled. “We wouldn’t want to make a scene, now would we?”

He was being smug, dripping with arrogance, and it was making you sick. You couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. You thought this time you’d be able to confront him, try to understand why he was treating people like this, but the twist of your stomach forced you away from the scene as you fled from the patio towards the beach.

Rafe was about ready to cock his fist back, too drunk to care about escalating the situation further, when he saw it again - a flash of long hair and a flowing skirt disappearing from view. He suddenly felt completely sober. He patted the guy on the back and threw back the last of his drink before following the mysterious figure down to the beach. 

You stood at the edge of the water, doubled over with your heels in your hand, trying desperately to catch your breath. Maybe your mother was right, maybe you should just keep your head down and act like the only thing that matters to you on this island is her wedding. But both of you knew that wasn’t true, that it could never be true, not when he’s here. Not when something has clearly changed him, and you can’t sleep at night not knowing what horrible thing could’ve happened to make him behave this way. Just because you buried your love for him, didn’t mean the ghost of it had stopped haunting you.

You composed yourself and decided to go back to dinner. You’d fake your way through the rest of the week. You’d lie low, send your mother on her honeymoon, and finally get off this island for good. But when you turned back toward the club, he was there. Standing ten-feet away, just watching you.

“It is you,” he whispered, the wind knocked out of him from the shock of seeing your face in the moonlight.

“Hi, Rafe,” you say, but it doesn’t come out in the confident, casual way you had practiced for the last two years, preparing for the moment you’d inevitably see him again. Instead it’s meek, shaking with your unstable breath.

“What are you…” Rafe is speechless. For just a moment, he’s that soft, insecure boy you used to know. The boy you loved, who loved you desperately in return. He must catch the faint smile you can’t hold back, because his mouth slams shut and his jaw clenches. His wide eyes become steeley again as his shield flies back up.

“What are you doing here?” He practically spits.

“My mom is getting married,” you say, no smile gracing your lips anymore. “I thought you would’ve heard.”

“Been busy,” he shrugs. “Believe it or not I have actual shit going on.”

You chuckle humorlessly, “I can tell.”

“The fuck’s that ‘sposed to mean?” He takes an angry step towards you.

“Just the way you were talking back there, and at your party the other night,” you say. “Looks like you’re the big man now.”

It was you at the party. Rafe shakes his head in disgust, this is the final confirmation he needed to make-up his mind about whether he’s pissed at you. He’d prepared for this moment too, not sure if when he saw you again, he’d want to kiss you or kill you. Right now he was leaning toward the latter.

“Yeah, maybe I am,” Rafe says. “Now that I don’t have all of you holding me back.”

There’s a flash of something you can’t quite place in his eyes. For just a moment, he’s not here, like he’s losing a battle to stay in the moment. You wonder what kind of demons are roaring in his mind. You wish you didn’t want so desperately to exorcise them.

“All of us?” You repeat his words back to him, wondering who else joins you in the club of people Rafe Cameron now hates. You look him up and down with soft, sad eyes. 

“What happened to you, Rafe?”

“I don’t have to fucking explain myself to you, Y/N,” your name shoots off his tongue like a bullet, nothing like the way he used to coo it in worship when he held you, or moan it in awe when he was inside of you. “Why don’t you just fuck off back to wherever you’ve been. You don’t belong here anymore.”

You just look at him, head tilted as your narrow eyes size him up in a way that makes him feel like an exposed nerve. You know the second you get home tonight, the tears will come, but right now you put on a stoic demeanor to match his own. This was the opposite of the reunion you had dreamed of. You thought you’d be back in the arms of the person who knew you better than anyone in the world, but instead you stand face-to-face with a total stranger.

You start to walk back up the beach in his direction, noticing the way his Adam's apple bobs as you get closer to him. Once you’re next to him, you look up into the blue eyes that you used to imagine your kids would have someday. So many things you’d wanted to say, hundreds of letters never sent, millions of tiny memories you’d hold onto forever, but now, with his frame looming over you, all you could think to say was,

“I hate your hair.”

And for the third time this week, he stood breathless as he watched you disappear.

(chapter 3)

a/n: THANK YOU so much for all the support on chapter one, I am actually blown away I did not think so many people would enjoy my words!! Special thank you to bestie @nadvs for all the inspo and advice!!! 🫶🫶🫶

taglist: @maybankslover @dark1paradise @lmg-stilinski24 @idkdudsworld @mimipanini09 @patis643 @readingsmuts

[sgiandubh]

News from Birmingham, part 3: verbatim

Verbatim means 'word for word' in Latin and it is often used in French to convey the idea something is being reported exactly as it actually happened.

Absolutely not sorry for the length, nor for the lost night spent on it.

So, here go the juiciest parts using the recording I am (for those joining in later) NOT allowed to post as is. Selection is mine and mine solely - editorial line and all the rest. Once I am done, I shall add my comments. It was hard for the girls to focus on what was being said on stage and write to me in DMs, at the same time. Recording everything was a risk, but also genius. The bits I am going to post are taken exactly as I heard them:

✔️on Blonde Bambino (yes, she elaborated and I had no idea when reporting live by proxy): '(...) and it's just amazing, he's the sweetest, sweetest thing and he looooves music. And, I feel like I succeeded being a mother purely because the other day he asked me if he could invite Kate Bush to his birthday'.

✔️on borrowed things from set: she regrets not having taken some things she liked from previous seasons. 'It's been a long time since I've borrowed anything (...). Terry gave me two nightgowns made in Season 1, she gave me one that was never used. And then she promised me a lot of things (...).' Wanted to 'borrow' something from her own surgery.

✔️on her involvement with the Blankfaces fashion label-cum- homeless charity in GLA: 'oh, that is Gerry who runs that, he is a friend of my husband's and he is just this amazing person who does grassroots organizing, you know, Blankfaces he's been doing for a long time. And I just met Gerry, you know, socially, and then I thought what he was doing was amazing, and I also found the clothes amazing and so I just bought them.' Further explains what Blankfaces does, the shop, the stories, including the food kitchen, but denies a more active involvement with the project/brand. 'I was just the other day at Hozier (...),he is amazing [cooing, booing] and I'm just paraphrasing from Andrew, and Andrew said this amazing thing, which was how we all want to be part of big things, right, you know to be a part of those things that would change the world, and all of that, but it's actually the small little things you do every single day, in your community, that have the biggest impact. (...) But you can buy their stuff online.'

✔️on producing a future movie based on Book Ten: 'I would not be in those competitions with Starz.'

✔️on her resemblance with Claire (oh dear God, not that question again!): 'As a kid, I was definitely not obedient, definitely not quiet and definitely not tidy, but as an adult, I ended up being more organized than I've ever thought I would be in my life (...) shocking (...). The world has changed crazy, (...) I used to talk to people and have opinions on things, but now it feels like a cesspool (...). I miss that space for conversation.'

✔️on 'Erself and the end of Outlander: 'well Diana came to visit, I actually don't know when it was, not that long ago, she came on set, sheeee... ugh, you'd have to forgive me, it was last season, it was so long ago, I can't remember what is what and I have to remember if she wrote something last season (...). Diana, she's created this world (...), she watches everything (...). But she's also allowed us to sort of make her characters our own and she's given us her blessing to do that, which has been amazing. And she still won't tell us the ending. [Voice in public: Sam knows!] Sammy... Sam THINKS he knows.'

✔️on the public impact of OL's Season 1 and sudden fame: 'I got this job so last minute, I was living in the US and I knew it was a US series that we're gonna be filming in the UK. And I read the first book so I was like, OMG sounds like an amazing show to film. But then I went from being cast to being in Scotland in one week. And then you're just like, you're working for 85, 90 hours a week. I didn't know who I was, where I was, what was going on. (...) and we went to Comic Con (...), I mean that whole year was a blur, an amazing blur, but a blur.' Had no expectations about what the show would become, it's now broadcast in 87 countries, 'it's insane, it's amazing'. Being able to be successful after 10 years is 'amazing'.

✔️on what she will miss most about Scotland or is she planning to stay in Scotland after OL is over: 'that's the million dollars question, I don't know. I mean, I think I'll... my husband is Scottish, so I think we'll always have something there, his parents both live there, so you know, we're not never going to be there at some point, but I don't know what is gonna happen after, but I am very, I feel, yeah, I feel like it's gonna be so sad not to... you know for 11 years, no matter like if we're gonna back in the United States or to London for a while we've always known we'd be back to Scotland at some point and be there for 10 or 11 months and so now I don't know, I don't know what the future holds, so....'

✔️on her and Tony sharing the same musical tastes: ' do Sam and I share the same music [Steve immediately BARKS: 'no, Tony, your real husband!'] Tony? Yes. Sam - no.'

✔️Sam's whisky or Graham's bourbon? 'Sam's whisky. I haven't tasted the bourbon, but bourbon is too sweet'.

✔️speaking about Steve - 'he's so mean'. In jest (?).

✔️her favorite part of making her own gin: 'tasting (...), trusting your senses'. The distillery changed, from the first to the second batch - the product's taste changed, a learning curve. They wanted to make sure it's still the same product.

✔️on regretting she did not start acting ten years earlier - mentioned not being ready for the responsibility of shooting 14, 16 hours a day, no sick days, etc: 'it's like a beast'. She felt OL came at the right time, was 'prepared and ready to be there' and eager to be given 'a shot (...): whatever you throw at me, I'll do it'. 'And I think for Sam was the same.'

✔️on memorable OL sets/places: Craigh Na Dun stones. 'The new place where we are, really cool. (....) Amazing stately homes like Hopetoun'. It's 'amazing.'

✔️on another parts in movies - she looks forward for 'good writing' and 'the character to speak' to her, in a new project, the people she will work with... Cliche AF. The Cut and The Amateur roles are 'not huge', the last she clearly said it was a small role, 'it's not my film, it's someone else's film'. She 'did not want to be working all the time, obviously with a small child'. Defined The Cut's plot as 'bizarre', and The Amateur as 'funny'. Loves her job, is happy with it.

✔️last question was asked by a French woman with a very thick accent, about traveling and learning things out of it - C. considers herself very lucky to have been able to travel all around the world as a model. Traveling taught her empathy, how to get over our very Christian centric view of the world. Mentions growing up in 'a very small village in Ireland, that was pretty much, you know, one church, one tiny school and one shop'. Her parents 'instilled a love of reading and learning'. Then she left Ireland to live in France and Japan, and traveled to Nepal. Nepal :'the trip that changed me and changed my life, because I was like seeing a completely different culture that had no correlation to anything that I grew up with, but it was the most beautiful spiritual awakening I guess I've ever had. (...) By traveling and by eating different foods and trying to speak other languages, which I try to do and I apologize to everybody because I try and speak your language, too, because I think (...) it's important to try and connect, because we expect people to come here and do that and it's so rude we don't go and do the same [ applause].' Being able to travel allows us to see how different and how similar we are'.

Ended with a huge thank you to fans, it's been so long that I wasn't attending a convention, 'but it meant the world to me to meet you all again, seen so many familiar faces, it feels so weird to be at the end of this show, because it has meant so much to me (...). Will see you all again soon.'

***

And now, for my comments and findings. Almost point by point:

Kate Bush, LOL (we'll never agree, C and I, on this one; but I can almost imagine Blonde Bambino cooing this - awww):

So, she basically repeated the same anecdote as last year, during promo. From Sade to Kate Bush, and hey, what about that birthday - 'the other day'? But let's not be nitpicky.

'Gerry' actually is Gerard McKenzie Govan, one of the three Directors and the founder of The Blankfaces CIC, a Community Interest Company (regular company with an increased social responsibility twist and, as such, heavily subsidized by the local authorities, too). More on him, here, for those who really want to know about him: https://www.glasgowwestendtoday.scot/magazine/the-man-behind-the-blankfaces-1391/. But that is not the most juicy part, actually - some blatant inconsistencies are. Like 'Gerry' being a friend of Nameless Husband's, but still she met him socially (huh? I thought he was a friend of Nameless Husband, hence a family acquaintance?). Also, C doesn't know shite about The Blankfaces, but still bravely fills in those blanks, like when she tells us fans Gerry has been doing Blankfaces 'for a long time'. The UK competent public authority, Companies House, says something very different and I can prove that the CIC was registered in 2018. Which is not really a long time at all:

'March 6, 2018 - Incorporation of a Community Interest Company' - see above. It also doesn't seem to be very well managed, at all:

Both its yearly accounts and its confirmation statement are long overdue (since 2023, in fact). The CIC is, actually, subject of an 'active proposal to strike off', which means it will be closed/dissolved, and rather sooner than later:

In their case, I suspect a compulsory strike-off, issued by the Companies House register. Fits with the legal criteria:

In a nutshell: because The Blankfaces failed to file its annual accounts and confirmation statement AND because it did not answer to the Companies House's two kind reminder letters, it will be forcibly dissolved in less than two months from now and there is NO going back on that decision, according to UK law.

Wouldn't C know about her Nameless Husband's Friend huge problems? I mean, how more tone-deaf and disconnected can you be, promoting a clinically dead business and inviting people to buy their clothes from their online shop?

Unless... Yeah, unless - but oooh, stupid shippers, slap a shipper, etc.

[Source: Moore and Stoke, an insolvency practitioners' firm based in Stoke-on Trent, UK - simply because they had the simplest and most recent legal explanation, see here: https://www.moorestoke.co.uk/active-proposal-to-strike-off/].

Compared to that, the fact that Tracula was nowhere to be seen at the recent Andrew Hozier-Byrne's concert in GLA is really peanuts. This is serious, legal stuff and please don't give me the 'she's an artist, she doesn't know shit about business' lame excuse. She is also a businesswoman, with her own spirits brand and several other companies, at least in the UK, Ireland and the US. Give me a break, #IYKYK.

Can't wait to be done with OL. Even the thought of a future movie based on Book Ten makes her cringe. Felt it in her voice and it was enough.

World feels like a cesspool? Why on Earth? She is a beautiful, successful and accomplished woman, with her own family and free from want. A cesspool is a very strong and strange word, in this apparent context. Unless.. but yeah, stupid shipper, slap a shipper. Missing conversations, expressing her opinion.... Not even LOL. It made me feel sad. Everything that happened to them since 2016 must be such a burden.

Sammy. SAMMY? Whoa, girl! Merci beaucoup, vraiment. Term of endearment, anyone? Compare with the stiff dead 'my husband' - again, the difference between a teddy bear and a guillotine is transparent in her voice. Also, DG - a difficult topic for her. She doesn't like 'Erself much and I think we all know why.

You tell me about 87 countries, Ma'am. I experience it every day, from the sidelines, so I can easily imagine what the impact could be for you. OL, that blessing and that curse. Also, when she is fed up with prodding and unwilling to kiss arses, she'd quip something along the lines of 'amazing' and be done with it.

Bonnie Scotland and the Day After. Another great moment of 'what the hell ever, just say anything'. Also, Caitriona Mary is a terrible, terrible liar - just like Sam Roland, you know. Her answer came out as incoherent and borderline illogical. Look at this: ' I mean, I think I'll… my husband is Scottish' - the 'I'll' part was her spontaneous starting to answer, about herself, but then inhibition kicked in and shit, she remembered she is married and had to somehow insert Tracula and both his parents (alive, just to make sure). Also, excuse me, hellooo: 'I think we'll always have something there'. Sounds like a flat, more like a pied-à-terre, but lo and behold, she suggests life is going to be elsewhere. What about that pharaonic McMansion, we so passionately followed the painstaking refurbishment of, double glazing included and borderline scandalizing the local heritage protection NGOs in the process? That doesn't really sound like 'something there', does it? That Bear Grylls flat looked more like 'something there', so where's the catch-22, here? What if I was right about McMansion being a fixer-upper she never planned to live in (where, oh where does The Happy Couple live? ooooh, ROFLMAO)? What if I was right about some other thoughts I am not ready to discuss yet? Questions, questions. And yes, London. IYKYK and very different from the emotional, savant blur. Also, for a very organized grown-up woman (her own words, see above), not knowing what the future holds... I mean I get it, but how peculiar, isn't it? Drawing a line, that question unsettled her. She was not planning to answer. She ended with a joke on not being able to see 'that yellow thing in the sky for five months in a row'. Get me out of this question and quick.

The music tastes' question was very clearly audible, even from the back of the room and I had zero trouble to distinctly hear it - it was also asked in a posh & polite British accent, so that helped a LOT: ' do you and Tony share the same music tastes?' The Freudian slip is simply inexplicable. Also, she answered Tony, not 'my husband' : Tony+ my husband in the same phrase is something beyond her strength. But why answer about S at all, that was NOT the question? Why? There are limits to dumbfuckery, after all. Also, Steve is such a pain in the arse. Who, in your mind and heart, is the real husband, C?

Whisky vs. Bourbon, she mumbled her answer, very uneasy, had to listen three times to untangle it. The Soup Nazi had to step in and bark the answer, train station megaphone style, for everyone to hear and get the memo. Now I understand why. And you should, too.

'He's so mean'. Definitely not in jest. Steve, that is. Fire that dick. Plus, later on, she quipped to him: 'you have the reputation of being like a strict schoolmaster'. Answer: 'maybe I am'. A cara nem treme, like they say in Brazil.

In that gin question, the Stan dutifully mentioned Tony (arse kissers, ALL OF THEM) - she could have mentioned him openly, she had a boulevard in front of her. But nope, she came back to mainly mentioning her own experience and a very vague 'we'.

'And I think Sam was the same' - conversations were had early on. In Central Park, London. And then things went very fast, as it sometimes happens. Sharing takes things on a very different level. I think this is exactly what happened to them.

Memorable places: they both are very moved by Craigh Na Dun, and it's absolutely normal. And Hopetoun - LOL, hello, of course ('The Door Faces North', pun totally intended).

Next two movies: so long for her Stans' delusions she was given a main role. She wrapped deception with grace and hid behind being a mom. ALL THE ANTI BLOGS WERE EERILY SILENT ABOUT THIS. I wonder why. Actually no, I don't. But sure, shippers twist things, shippers hide things. No shame, those people.

The last question, on travel, was my favorite one. I think it was perhaps the only time she felt able to fully express what she meant and wanted to. Many will jump on that Nepal reference and it is correct, but to me, on a very personal level, it spoke in many, many other ways. This is the C I have managed to embrace, reluctantly at first (I admit) and like a LOT. This is the witty girl I thought I have lost forever in that sea of painful innuendos, stupid Stans ass-kissing and blurring everything in the process, plus a Nazi minder on top. Fire that dick. Seriously. He wanted to end on a 'funny' Kumbaya note - she subtly managed to break free. Thank you, C. Seriously. The wonder you are and completely unaware of it. And the things you can do with words, if only you'd dare play with them some more.

Her tone at the end was emotional. Very. It was the same tone as for that 'partner everyday' gala speech. Oh, the things she wanted to tell all of us. And if we only knew. But hey, she promised we will meet again, soon. Perhaps in Paris? I'll gladly speak to you. In French.

A HUGE thank you. Both of you. I love you, girls.

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Blue Castle Book Club 2.0 - Chapter 3

Cousin Stickles is a fascinating character. She seems almost… not immune to the Stirlingness of her family – she’s definitely a Stirling in her own right – but off in her own world almost? She’s entirely unphased by the weather or by her companions’ moods. She wishes Valancy many happy returns on her birthday because that’s what you do on birthdays. The weather has nothing to do with it! She’s definitely with Cousin Georgiana in the ‘we do things because that is how they are done’ Stirling camp. Some Stirlings make rules and others follow them, and Cousin Stickles follows them.

Is it ever explained how Cousin Stickles came to live with them? Are they just the two outcasts of the Stirling family – two widows, one who married and then killed a Stirling and one who had the audacity to marry someone other than a Stirling? Cousin Stickles doesn’t seem to have been close with Mr. Fredrick Stirling, or if she was I don’t think it’s ever mentioned. Did Mrs. Fredrick just need help after Valancy was born and Cousin Stickles happened to be available? Honestly the tumblr shipping goggles are as reasonable an explanation for it as any.

Mrs. Fredrick announces that if a person makes up her mind not to have colds she won’t have them. Given the whispers about how Fredrick himself died from last chapter, one has to wonder if Mrs. Fredrick is especially touchy on the subject of colds and what can or cannot be done about catching them. Again, nothing excuses her treatment of her daughter, but she herself clearly has not been well treated either.

“Oh!” Mrs. Frederick had been a Wansbarra and the Wansbarra smile was not an asset. “I see. Well, it should suit you then. You are childish enough in all conscience, my dear child.” “I am twenty-nine,” said the dear child desperately.

I don’t have much to say about these lines except that I like them a great deal and Maud is very good at what she does. Her plotting is at times dubious, but her turns of phrase are honestly divine.

An interesting note: the house is filled with portraits of dead Stirlings, but Valancy has to guess what her mother and Cousin Stickles looked like on their wedding days. You would think, given the importance that the clan places on being married, that wedding portraits would be proudly displayed, particularly in this household where the other obvious indicator of marriage – a husband – is no longer available. But clearly Valancy has never seen portraits of either event. Was it not the done thing to do wedding portraits? We have photographs, no matter what era you think the book is set in. But no images of either wedding to be found.

John Foster enters the narrative! Let’s see what wisdom John Foster has to share:

“The woods are so human that to know them one must live with them. An occasional saunter through them, keeping to the well-trodden paths, will never admit us to their intimacy. If we wish to be friends we must seek them out and win them by frequent, reverent visits at all hours; by morning, by noon, and by night; and at all seasons, in spring, in summer, in autumn, in winter. Otherwise we can never really know them and any pretence we may make to the contrary will never impose on them. They have their own effective way of keeping aliens at a distance and shutting their hearts to mere casual sightseers. It is of no use to seek the woods from any motive except sheer love of them; they will find us out at once and hide all their sweet, old-world secrets from us. But if they know we come to them because we love them they will be very kind to us and give us such treasures of beauty and delight as are not bought or sold in any market-place. For the woods, when they give at all, give unstintedly and hold nothing back from their true worshippers. We must go to them lovingly, humbly, patiently, watchfully, and we shall learn what poignant loveliness lurks in the wild places and silent intervals, lying under starshine and sunset, what cadences of unearthly music are harped on aged pine boughs or crooned in copses of fir, what delicate savours exhale from mosses and ferns in sunny corners or on damp brooklands, what dreams and myths and legends of an older time haunt them. Then the immortal heart of the woods will beat against ours and its subtle life will steal into our veins and make us its own forever, so that no matter where we go or how widely we wander we shall yet be drawn back to the forest to find our most enduring kinship.”

I have heard that Foster’s passages are recycled from Maud’s own forays into nature writing, but I’m going to look at them more thematically because honestly I mostly skimmed them the first time ‘round and I’m curious if they’re all quite as on the nose as this one. Because this passage comes to us immediately following Valancy’s morose pronouncement that nobody loves her and she might as well go eat worms for all anyone would notice or care if she died. And John Foster tells us that the woods, like humans, must be deliberately cultivated if we want to win their friendship. We must approach them openly and earnestly with love in our heart, and that they will be able to tell if we’re just going through the motions and don’t really want to get to know them.

Valancy, as we already know, has lived a stifling life filled with keeping up appearances and doing things because that is how they have always been done. No one has ever been interested in Valancy for her own sake, not her family, not her peers, not even the adults in her life who might have been able to reach her, like the librarian in town. And so they don’t get to see her heart and are forbidden from knowing her secrets. She is desperate for love, but not so desperate that she will try to force it where it doesn’t exist.

We’re also given a very clear thesis statement about how John Foster loves: deliberately, and with his entire being. This is definitely not foreshadowing.

Colors mentioned:

Yellow neck

Black notebook

Not even John Foster can bring color into this world yet.

[alj4890]

Asked and Received

A Tobias Carrick/Open Heart one shot for Tobias Carrick Appreciation Week

Day 3: WWTD? Tobias buys an old lantern at an antique store. When he gets home and places it on his shelf, a genie appears and offers to grant him three wishes. How does he react? What does he ask for?

A/N going back to Book 2's canon and my HC for Tobias's family for this one. And of course, there's no doubt what or rather whom I HC for him will also be a part of this 😉

Masterlist

"Don't worry." Tobias readjusted his phone. "I'll be there."

His attempt to juggle multiple gift bags, his phone, and the Chinese takeout he'd bought all while trying to unlock his garage door did not end well.

His phone slipped out from between his ear and shoulder. He dropped the gift bags to try and catch it, thus causing all of them to dump out on the garage floor.

The only thing he managed to save was his dinner.

His younger brother's anxious voice could be heard buried beneath the bags.

"You okay?!" Phillip yelled out.

Carefully setting his takeout down, Tobias began to gather everything else up.

"Sorry about that." He told Phillip once he found his phone. "Dropped a few things."

"A few?" Phillip muttered in disbelief. "Sounded like your whole house crashed down around you."

"It wasn't my house." Tobias snorted. "Only the gifts I bought for Tabitha."

Phillip's daughter was turning five the following weekend. The Carrick's were gathering at the family home in Greenwich to celebrate as they did with everyone's birthday. Tobias even cleared his schedule for the week just so he could spend extra time with everyone.

He needed a break. After all the turmoil of Mass Kenmore losing its funding and the mad dash he'd recently done to save a young Edenbrook doctor, he knew he needed some time to decompress. The stress of the problems growing with possible shutdowns and layoffs had finally gotten to him.

Phillip chuckled. "You should see all that Jasmine has picked out for Tabitha. Between her and Mom, my girl is going to be the most spoiled five year old in the world."

Tobias grinned at the thought. His sister-in-law went through a lot to have her two children with Phillip. Jasmine had seen many fertility specialists and had multiple procedures for a slim chance at becoming pregnant. Tabitha was the first miracle for the couple. Spoiling the little girl became the norm in the family. It wasn't difficult to do given how sweet she was.

He was beyond the proud uncle of all his nieces and nephews. He made certain that their gifts revealed just how crazy he was about them and that he actually listened to all they told him. Tobias enjoyed spending time around Christmas and their birthdays to search for special presents that lined up with their interests.

This year, his niece was currently obsessed with the Disney movie, Aladdin. Phillip joked that it was because her mother's name was Jasmine which was why the little girl wanted to be that particular princess.

Tobias didn't care what the reason was. He only knew he had to find something special for her big day.

He spent the day at various toy stores around Boston, buying new dolls, puzzles, and games. Walking past an antique store, the idea to try and find her a real oil lamp struck. He went inside and as luck would have it, he found exactly what he'd hoped to find.

After dropping all his packages on the kitchen table, he took the lamp out of the box and set it on one of his couch cushions. He squatted down to see just how it would look to Tabitha.

The old brass lamp turned out better than he'd hoped. The engravings along the sides added more to the imagined mysticism one could pretend the lamp contained. He could easily see it sitting in some forgotten cave filled with treasures from long, long ago.

"Not bad." He said, running his thumb along the intricate engravings.

"Thank you." A voice said from within.

Tobias fell back with a gasp as silvery black smoke pooled out. It swirled around the room as sounds of thunder boomed and flashes of lightning penetrated the smothering darkness. Once it cleared, a man in a three piece suit was sitting next to the lamp.

"What in the actual hell was that?" Tobias breathed. "Who are you?"

"Isn't it obvious?" The strange man replied. "I'm the Genie of the Lamp."

"Right." Tobias got to his feet. "And I'm the man who is about to force you out of his home."

The stranger clucked his tongue. "I wouldn't try that if I were you, Tobias."

Tobias cursed as he reached down to yank the intruder off his couch.

He went right through the man and hit the couch cushion.

"I told you that you shouldn't try to remove me." The genie chuckled over Tobias's fruitless attempts.

"This is a prank." Tobias said, looking around for one of his friends. "This is nothing but an image projected into my living room."

"No, I'm, as they say, the real deal." The genie got to his feet. "I can see though that you're a doubting man."

"You got that right." Tobias muttered while looking for what was causing this hallucination.

"I thought dressing like this would be less startling to a man like you."

With a snap of his fingers, the genie now looked like one from storybooks, complete with turban, a long pointy beard, and lack of a lower body. The shimmery black smoke swirled where his legs had once been.

Tobias rubbed his hands over his face in an attempt to get his vision clear of whatever the hell was going on in his living room.

When he lowered his hands, he saw the genie still waiting with his arms crossed.

"Is this better or can I look more like a man of today?" Genie gestured towards his body.

"Do whatever you want." Tobias gave up and sat down. "It isn't like I really have a say in the matter."

"I wouldn't say that." The genie snapped his fingers and was once again a man in a suit.

Straightening his tie, he smiled at Tobias.

"Now then, you are the lucky individual of three wishes."

"Yippee." Tobias grumbled. "So I can wish for you to get out?"

"My my, aren't we an unwelcoming host?" Genie responded.

"Forgive me for not wanting a weird has to be some drug induced hallucination I somehow was cursed with in my house." Tobias bit out.

"Do you do drugs?" Genie asked.

"No." Tobias said. "But I could have been slipped something in my coffee from earlier."

"True." The genie conceded. "But you weren't."

Tobias continued to glare at him.

"Make your wishes and I will leave, never to return again." The genie promised.

"Then I'll take this lamp back for another." Tobias added. "There's no way I'll let you near my niece."

The genie let out a boisterous laugh.

"Ah, Tobias. I won't appear before Tabitha. She doesn't need me."

"What?" Tobias muttered in disbelief.

"She's a happy child who has all her needs met." Genie explained. "I only appear to those who have a great need for my assistance in their lives."

He smirked while watching the doctor get irritated over hearing that he needed help with anything.

"And," the genie pointed out, "this lamp isn't my only home."

Tobias leaned forward. "Like I said before, what?!"

"All oil lamps belong to me." He continued. "How do you think I appear before people from all over the world?"

"I wouldn't even begin to guess what a character from a story does." Tobias told him.

"Where do you think all the stories came from?" Genie smiled at him with a hint of mischief. "You don't think someone like me could possibly be a work of fiction, do you?"

Tobias lowered his head in his hands. He knew he had two options. One, he could continue arguing with this thing or he could take advantage of what could be his good fortune and make some wishes.

Lifting his head he gave in to the latter. It would probably save his sanity in the long run to just let this scenario play out.

"About these wishes," he hesitated, "this isn't some Monkey Paw type wish is it?"

"Meaning something horrific must happen to get your wish?" The genie clarified.

Tobias nodded. "Is it?"

"Not at all. My wishes are free and clear of any ill intent." He leveled his dark eyes upon the doctor. "Unless your wish is one that is to harm another."

"Not my style." Tobias told him. "My wishes have nothing to do with hurting anyone."

"Excellent!" The genie rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Now then, let's discuss some possible wishes."

"Discuss?" Tobias smirked. "Am I not capable of making my own?"

"They will still be yours," Genie replied, "but I have never taken advantage of one's ignorance when it comes to making wishes."

"For instance?" Tobias prodded.

"For instance, if you told me your first wish was to be in the perfect profession then I would point out you are currently in the perfect one for someone like you." He explained. "No need to waste a wish on something you already have."

"I see." Tobias's brow furrowed in thought. "Hmm."

"Might I make a suggestion?" Genie prompted.

"Sure."

"You are currently worried about funding for your hospital. Correct?"

"Correct." Tobias answered.

"Then I can fix that!" Genie motioned towards him. "Simply say the words and--"

"Can you fix two hospitals?" Tobias interrupted.

"Two?"

"Mass Kenmore and Edenbrook are both going to be shut down if someone doesn't intervene." Tobias explained. "And the people of Boston would suffer because of it."

"I see." Genie shrugged. "That can all be easily taken care of."

"Then for my first wish, I wish that you would make Mass Kenmore and Edenbrook have the funding needed to remain open and functioning at their best."

Genie nodded in approval before snapping his fingers. Within seconds, Tobias phone rang.

His eyes widened to see Mass Kenmore's Chief of Medicine calling him.

"Hello?" He listened to the excited doctor explain that the Board had made a deal with Solomon Health.

"We're saved!" She exclaimed. "We won't be dependent on state funding again."

Tobias ended the call. He couldn't quite believe that his wish had come true.

"Who ended up helping Edenbrook?" He asked.

The genie snapped his fingers again and an image of a man Tobias knew appeared in a puff of smoke.

"That's Leland Bloom." He turned back to the genie. "What does a tech billionaire have to do with anything?"

"He'll end up buying the hospital and keep all the staff." The genie explained. "In fact, he's now talking to Edenbrook's Chief of Medicine and their Board right now."

"Wow." Tobias sat back in awe.

"I know." Genie winked at him. "I am that amazing."

Tobias began to laugh. Only he would be the one to find a genie with an ego similar to his own.

"Now then, what shall be your second wish?" The genie prompted.

"I'm not sure." Tobias told him. "Honestly, all I've thought about lately is Tabitha's birthday and the whole funding fiasco."

"Hmm." The genie began to stroke his beard while thinking of something Tobias might need or want.

"Could I wish for my family to remain healthy and happy?" Tobias asked.

"You could." The genie responded. "But I don't see a reason to do so. They all have what they need for that to happen."

"I still wish it. Just to be on the safe side."

"Very well." The genie snapped his fingers. "Done."

He then leaned forward, a mischievous glint back in his eyes. "Now let's make this final wish more interesting."

"Interesting?" Tobias cocked an eyebrow. "Meaning?"

"Meaning something specifically for yourself." The genie explained. "You've already done your good deeds to those you care about and the city you reside in. Let's get something that will be only yours."

Tobias chuckled. "I can't think of anything I need."

The genie humphed. "I bet your mother would say differently."

"You don't mean--"

"Oh I do." The genie grinned with glee. "One of my favorite things to grant someone is the perfect mate."

"Hold on!" Tobias held his hands up. "I don't think I'm the marrying kind."

"You're wrong." Genie's smile grew larger. "You think that now, but there is someone out there made for you."

"Uh-huh." Tobias doubted that. "If you don't mind, I think I'll wish for something else."

"Such as?" The genie was quite curious what could be better than his own suggestion.

"How about a new challenge?" Tobias offered. "Something to push me on to succeeding."

The genie stroked his beard once more in thought. "A challenge, eh?"

He looked up at Tobias. "Say the words."

"I wish for a new challenge in my life, one that requires all my expertise to succeed."

An amused expression flooded the genie's face as he snapped his fingers to make it happen.

"So?" Tobias asked. "What's my challenge?"

"To win the heart of this woman." The genie waved his hand through the smoke until another familiar face appeared.

"Is that who I think it is?" Tobias gasped.

"It is." The genie responded, completely delighted to turn the wish into what he knew the man before him needed.

Tobias glared at him. "I thought I told you I wasn't the marrying kind."

"You will be once Chris gets a hold of you." The genie teased.

As he began dissolving into the silvery smoke he'd first appeared in, the genie spoke once more.

"Don't fight it, Tobias. Enjoy your life with those you love."

His dark eyes sparkled before disappearing.

"And that includes, Dr. Valentine." His voice echoed.

Tobias sat there staring at the empty spot on his sofa where the genie had been sitting. Still in disbelief over all that happened within the last few minutes, he reached over and picked up the lamp.

Giving it a slight shake, he chuckled to himself.

"Nice try, but there's no way Chris Valentine is meant for me."

He set the lamp down to begin wrapping Tabitha's presents.

A mystical voice spoke from the lamp causing him to stop mid step.

"Wanna bet?"

[randomgentlefolk]

CPC CHAPTER 165+166

The warning earned a chuckle from me lmao. Because why did I literally gasp while reading the first line xd

The warning for eps 166...didn't make me laugh at all.

Yayy Gwen is finally awake!! I guess thanks Leland for removing the thorny plants so she won't hurt herself :|

Nah cause Leland really dare try to kidnap a girl who asked whether he's okay after she herself just woke up from an intense nightmare 💀

Bro has the GUTS. THE AUDACITY. To start ranting about the kids he's kidnapping.

This scene is so emotional, and I am so glad Gwen is finally starting to know who Leelathae is. Though I won't lie, I'm a little disappointed that Leland is the one to tell her :/ I was expecting a family moment with Jack and the other pastel kids. But it's all good since she finally gets to know her :D

I would like to apologize in advance. Serpent Leland kinda made me laugh due to his abs lmaooo.

But it's pretty cool how Gwen and Frederick sees Leland as a threat (tho unintentional), though with different perspective. Gwen sees Leland as a big bad wolf while Frederick sees Leland as a serpent.

HECK YEAH!!! You go, Frederick!!! For once, his ability to misunderstand something is actually resulting in something wonderful and amazing!!

Aww the Possum immediately hugging Gwen <3

Oh uh whoops. Can Curtis see through that glasses? Hopefully...

Guys, Leland is throwing tantrum again :/ but i can see how using Laverne as a weapon against him is a really useful tactic. Considering how in the past, he bought Laverne to be a replacement for Jack. So turning Laverne against him probably feels like a 2nd betrayal for him.

OOHH....Aww man. Damn. I can feel that comb hitting Leland's hand and pushing the thorns in. Ouch...

NAHH NOT CELSO!!! My man this is why you don't scream your move when doing stealth move 😔

Did Frederick just do a Judo move.

I looked it up and this move is called shoulder throw or Seoi-nage.

BUT FREDERICK ACTUALLY, SERIOUSLY JUST SHOULDER THROW HIS FATHER, THEN PROCEEDS TO PLANT HIS HEAD ON THE WALL. Those laverne carrying are working. Plot twist he's actually buff lmao.

Ahwguwau Frederick actually learning from moments where he got hurt and being brave tho!! So proud of him <3

I love Aurelia and her comments man XD

Frederick immediately checking up on Gwen and making sure she wasn't hurt. These guys deserve their happy ending Lambcat c'mon :')

AURELIA FINALLY GIVING GWEN THE DIARY!!! PASTEL KIDS CHILDHOOD WJSJIWNSGEKA

But of course! Let's start from the beginning of chapter 166...

Lorena would be so proud if she see how Frederick tied his dad with her vines.

Yeah, Gwen definitely should start on the second page... Just reading the first page by glancing could lead to many misunderstandings.

May I just say, I love how Gwen is being stern(is that the word?) To Aurelia about how she needs to read that book and that she really want to know about her mother. Hah! Again, I love Aurelia's comment (this time about the war literally happening downstairs XD)

IT'S TIME. INTOOOOOO PASTEL KIDS CHILDHOOD WITH LEELATHAEEEE!!

(Cue that batman transition music (i forgot the era))

WUJWJWHWAIB THEY??? ARE ADORABLE!!! Awww Leelathae reading them a story with Jack and Gwen & Jamie's onesie!! Also their plushies!! I'm having cuteness overload....

HAJSYAISYAJ THEY HAVE MATCHING DRESSES!!!!! Maybe Leelathae sew them herself??? SJSJSHJAUS

Oh. Okay. That's not good. I suppose there's a side effect after giving birth to the children? That's...depressing.

But before we go deeper into that, birthday party!!

I must say, I absolutely adore how chaotic Lorena seems to be lmao. Look at her and her little sword XD and Maria looking really elegant. She really does give the eldest sister vibe. Gwen looks so cute with the pigtails! (I forgot the hairstyle name). Jamie with the fruits and Gwen with the fruit and cooking utensils!

Also it seems that the pastel family is having a small party for birthdays instead of big ones like the plaid kingdom. I wonder why they don't invite the plaid family over? Blaine and Lance would be 6 and 5 years old at this time, so they're probably at the academy already. But what about Leland and Isolde?

Man, this family is genuinely so wholesome and that makes me even sadder for what's about to happen. CAUSE DAMN??? Leelathae passing out while holding the cake, and Jack noticing like 😭 AND THEN JACK RUNNING TOWARDS HER LIKE MARIA AND LORENA RUNNING TOWARDS GWEN I'M GOING TO CRY.

R.i.p cake (i had to do it)

Ahh I see. Okay. So the left ventricle (which is a part of the heart) is weakening and it can't strengthen back up? That's what I'm getting, at least. I wasn't aware something like this could happen. I'm just researching, and is Peripartum Cardiomyopathy (PPCM) the correct term for this? I don't know anything about childbirth beyond what I learn in school so... this one's purely based on searching the symptom in google.

Okay, let's see... *puts on glasses and squint my eyes* *clears throat*

Peripartum cardiomyopathy (PPCM) or also known as Postpartum cardiomyopathy is an uncommon form of heart failure that happens toward the end of pregnancy or in the months following delivery, when no other cause of heart failure can be found.

https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/cardiomyopathy/what-is-cardiomyopathy-in-adults/peripartum-cardiomyopathy-ppcm

(This information is taken from American Heart Association website. I hope that's alright?)

Symptoms of PPCM that we've seen in Leelathae:

- Fatigue

- Shortness of breath

- Chest pain

- Feeling lightheaded or faint

- Dizziness

For now that's the only things I can note. I mean, I'm not even sure if that is what Leelathae is going through. But it seems likely. I don't have anything to add on this matter right now, so what if we go back to the story. Shall we?

"I'm going to perish...from a broken heart"

OHHHHH, OKAY DAMN LEELATHAE. Man... this reminds me of the broken heart syndrome. It's pretty interesting. If I'm not wrong, it's a heart condition that comes from extremely stressful situation or emotions. And it is possible to pass away from it. So yes, you can die from a broken heart.

Oh man this just got depressing real quick... The kids sitting beside Leelathae's bed, the medicines piling up overtime, Leelathe crying and Jack hugging her...

Leelathae :( she just wants to see her kids grow up and her husband man... and yet because a certain jealous man just had to steal a portrait...damn it Leland.

The witch!! It's her!! :0000

That's nice of her to offer to listen to Leelathae's vent :) though she does mistake her for a witch :')

THIS WHOLE TIME. IT'S THE WITCH LMAO. Okay actually being mistaken as a witch has a perk this time!! And does this mean Leelathae can bake??? Like mother like daughter real.

The panel of the witch hugging Leelathae is actually pretty sweet haha. They're besties now X)

I wonder how this spell will work....

That's it for now. 2 episodes in a post! Wooo! I gotta stop procrastinating... this post was so long lmao.

Mono out! (Ngl I'm still in lmao)

[spicykaraage]

Tenipuri Complete Character Profile - Akaya Kirihara

[PROFILE]

Birthday: September 5th (Libra)

Blood Type: O

Relatives: Father, Mother, Older Sister

Father’s Occupation: Company Employee (foreign company)

Elementary School: Kanagawa Second Elementary School

Middle School: Rikkai University Junior High School

Grade & Class: Third Year | Class 2-D | Seat 6

Club: Tennis Club (Regular, future vice captain)

Committee: None

Strong Subjects: Japanese, PE

Weak Subjects: English

Frequently Visited Spot at School: The tennis courts

World Cup Team: U-17 World Cup Japanese Representatives

Favorite Motto: “Time is money.” ➜ “There’s more than meets the eye.” [23.5]

Daily Routines: Drinking a bottle of milk everyday

Hobbies: Video games (fighting games) ➜ Video games “That ink game.” [23.5]

Favorite Color: Primary colors

Favorite Music: Hip Hop

Favorite Movie: Terminator 2

Favorite Book: Shounen Jump manga

Favorite Food: Yakiniku (short ribs [23.5]), sushi (salmon roe [23.5])

Favorite Anniversary: His birthday, Christmas

Preferred Type: “I like a cheerful girl!” ➜ “A girl who’s fun to be around!” [23.5]

Ideal Date Spot: A game center ➜ A VR experience facility [23.5]

His Gift for a Special Person: “A ticket to one of my matches. (Obviously I’ll win!)”

Where He Wants to Travel: New York

Thing He Wants Most Right Now: Wii ➜ Wii U [10.5 II] ➜ A new controller that he can play the ink game with [23.5]

Dislikes: Vice Captain Sanada, liver [23.5]

Skills Outside of Tennis: Being able to eat piping hot ramen in three minutes, can fall asleep as soon as he wants to [removed], he doesn’t get jet-lagged [23.5]

Spends Allowance On: Game centers

Routine During the World Cup: Playing games on his phone

[DATA]

Height: 168cm ➜ 170cm [23.5]

Weight: 61kg ➜ 58kg [23.5]

Shoe Size: 26.5cm

Dominant Arm: Right

Vision: 1.5 Left & Right

Play Style: Aggressive Baseliner

Signature Moves: Knuckle Serve, Speed Serve, Selfless State, Devil Mode, Angel Mode, Short Snake

Time He Wakes Up: 6:40am

Time He Goes to Sleep: 10:30pm

Blood Pressure: 150/90 mmHg

Favorite Brands:

Racquet: PRO STAFF 5.5 WILSON STRETCH

Shoes: DT WILSON (DYNOSPHERE Technology)

Overall Rating: Speed: 4 / Power: 3 / Stamina: 3 / Mental: 2 / Technique: 3 / Total: 15

Devil Mode: Speed: 5 / Power: 4.5 / Stamina: 2 / Mental: 5 / Technique: 1.5 / Total: 16

Kurobe Memo: “It’s hard to become a top-notch tennis player if one does not learn to control themselves when they’re excited. If he can learn to control his emotions on his own without the help of his seniors, then perhaps he can harness his physical abilities better.” [RB]

[POSSESSIONS]

What’s in His Bag:

A handheld game console and game cartridges // Sanada had confiscated them

Hair-styling products

A couple of pens // He doesn’t use a case and has them tied together with a rubber band

Bicycle key // There’s a poop keychain that he bought a long time ago attached (he got it during the 21st Overseas Training Tour in China)

Finger weights // He wears them since his grip strength is poor

A crumpled up graded test paper // He did terribly

Sanada’s calligraphy: “Restrain yourself and follow the social norms.”

Miscellaneous garbage

What’s in His Locker [C&S]:

Finger hands

Protein powder

Athletic tape // There’s also a small first-aid kit Yanagi made for him

[bubblegum-blackwood]

13 Books Tag Game

Tagged by @mothmage 🖤

1) The last book I read:

Ghost Of by Diana Khoi Nguyen. This is a book of poetry I read for my Intro to Poetry class - it deals heavily with grief, having been written in the aftermath of the death of the author's brother, and if you like free verse, concrete poems, or stream-of-consciousness-like verse, this would definitely be something to check out. Also Othello by William Shakespeare :3

2) A book I recommend:

If We Were Villains by ML Rio! It's about a bunch of theatre kids going to an arts conservatory to study Shakespeare. People fuck, people do drugs, people get murdered, and like half the cast is gay and repressed about it. The prose is really vivid, and overall, I'm just super impressed with the story and the characters Rio created!

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice. I know this is a Vampire Chronicles blog so that seems rather obvious but I truly was captivated by this book. Checking it out from the library was one of the best decisions I ever made.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

I'm going to cheat for this one and do a play instead: Hamlet by William Shakespeare. I first read it in school in junior high, then again on my own my sophomore year of high school, and I've flipped through it several times since then. As much as I love other Shakespeare plays like Much Ado About Nothing and Twelfth Night and Romeo and Juliet, I never seem to run out of things to say about Hamlet. It's just so rich.

5) A book on my TBR:

Ohhhh soooo many sdljkfklfjasklfsjlkjfskl. But my friend gifted me Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M Danforth for my birthday and I figure I should get around to it at some point 😅

6) A book I’ve put down:

A year or two ago, my mother came home from Target with Ramses the Damned: The Reign of Osiris by Anne and Christopher Rice, because she saw our goth mom's name and figured I'd appreciate it since I like the Vampire Chronicles. It's not the first in the series, and I was having a hard time connecting to these random new characters, so I closed the book after a few pages and it's been sitting untouched on my bookshelf ever since 😅

7) A book on my wish list:

Every year for my birthday and Christmas I ask for one or two Shakespeare plays because I want to collect the full set (of all the ones I'm interested in LOL). Next on the list is The Comedy of Errors.

8) A favorite book from childhood:

Ummmm I'm trying to think. I have an abridged version of Little Women by Louisa May Alcott that I read several times in fifth and sixth grade, so I'll go with that. (hilariously, I remember almost nothing about the plot of the book now)

9) A book you would give to a friend:

I'll go with Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen because that is currently the book that I have been badgering my bestie to read lol

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own

The aforementioned Ghost Of but also Girl's Guide to Leaving by Laura Villareal, also something I read for my poetry class, and also something I would totally recommend!

11) A nonfiction book you own:

So many, mostly for school. Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions by Lisa Wade and Myra Marx Feree (3rd edition) is something I bought for my sociology of gender class a few semesters ago, and I would highly recommend! It is very enlightening and full of interesting facts.

12) What are you currently reading:

Blood Canticle by Anne Rice! It's wacky as fuck but you know what, I'm actually enjoying myself. I just haven't gotten very far because I'm super busy with school this semester so I haven't had as much time to read for pleasure sadtoad.jpg

13) What are you planning on reading next?

The next play my Shakespeare class is reading is The Taming of the Shrew, so I guess technically that sfdasffasdf. For VC, I'll move on to Prince Lestat after finishing BCan.

tagging: @fofoqueirah @hekateinhell @covenofthearticulate @dorianslayyy and @leslutdepointedulac

[4uru]

All my sketchbooks :

From 2019 june (received the first sketchbook for my birthday) to now. 👹

Sketchbooks 1-9 (2019)

Sketchbook (10-19) beginning at 2020

Sketchbook (20-29)

Sketchbook 23 was the last of 2020

Sketchbook (30-40)

Sketchbook 31 was finished on 31 december 2021

Sketchbook 39 begun on 1st January (it like was 3 days before that bc i got impatient)

Sketchbook 1-9

Sketchbook 4 is where i put my foot down and decided to actually start learning how to draw. With the help of my mother (master's degree in sculpture and working as a product designer currently)

Sketchbook 10-19

Sketchbook 20-29

24 and 27 is Patroclus . 29 is David.

Sketchbook 30-40

All my modified + handmade sketchbooks

(My frankenstein's monsters)

Allow me to explain how, unasked :

Sketchbook 11 and 12 were my old school provided A3 trashy ass sketchbooks that i folded into A4s and re decorated (original cover art)

Sketchbook 13,14,15,17 are hand sewn. 13 pinpoints the moments i started my book binding shop retirement plans (original cover art)

Sketchbook 19 got the same treatment as 11 and 12 but more brutal. 19's pages were ripped of to make them A4. (Original cover art)

Sketchbook 20 was hand sewn (original cover art)

Sketchbook 21 is where i tried my first hard cover attempt. (Original cover art)

Sketchbook 22 is held together by hopes and prayers. I gutted an old leather diary and glued a hand sewn sketchbook to the leather body (original cover art)

Sketchbook 23 got the same exact treatment as 19 (not original cover art)

Sketchbook 24 is my pride and joy, my handmade hard cover sketchbook with patroclus on the cover looking slutty and holy. The hard cover is from a withered cardboard box🙈 (grey area)

Sketchbook 25 was me shamelessly copying cassandra jean's art. I was 13 and didnt know any better. let me live- (officer lock me up. Not original cover art)

Sketchbook 30 i made my mother merge two store bought sketchbooks together. It is also the sketchbook where i glued on and taped on extra pages and shit. It is crying for help. some of my best redesigns are there (original cover art)

Sketchbook 36 is my best work yet, it is perfect in everyway, looks very professional and neat, the spine is straighter than a flagpole and the pages are neatly sewn the hard cover is made from sketchbook 19's discarded hardcover remains i think...(not original cover art)

Sketchbook 39 is where i made the cover out of my old childhood book (an encyclopedia of sorts which gave me all my immortal hyperfixations dinosaurs and greek mythology) and i made my mother sew a 200 page sketchbook in the middle of the night. (Original cover art)

[zozobruh]

Tag game to better know you

Iva, my dear, tysm for tagging me @b1uetrees <3

what book are you currently reading?

I finally got around to reading Dune! It's going really sloooow since I have been working and trying to write my thesis at the same time, but so far so good! (The 1st movie def didn't do justice to some things oops) 

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

I haven't really been to the cinema this year. Objectively, I would say it was Banshees of Inisherin (which I saw with Iva ofc hehe). In terms of the experience of live screening it def was The Rocky Horror Picture Show! It was so fun, I loved people singing and making comments to the plot, epic

what do you usually wear?

Most days of the year you'll see me in mom jeans and a shirt tucked in them or a sweater over them for colder periods of the year. Recently I bought high-waisted wide-leg black jeans and I AM IN LOVE. For shoes I prefer the vans sneakers and dr. martens boots.

how tall are you

157 cm (5'2)

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Taurus. For celebrities ik that I share my bday with Pierce Brosnan, Megan Fox and Thomas Brodie-Sangster lol

do you go by your name or a nickname?

I go by my name (Klara). The only person that actually calls me Zozo is my boyfriend haha

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

Def not, but I still think child me would be pretty impressed with what we achieved and would probably think the adult me is cool af haha

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one?

Yes, going strong for almost 4 and a half years. I love my bf and I wouldn't trade what we have for the world. MUST protect <3

what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

Honest answer is that I think I'm average at everything lmao. I guess I'm good at planning, organizing and respecting deadlines. I'm bad at maths and quick thinking haha

dogs or cats?

I always say both, but if I'm put in a spot and have to choose, I'll say cats. I feel like kitties are just closer to my personality and I like their dynamic.

if  you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite  picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this  year?

I have been writing some rather emo poetry since highschool (I'm okay), so earlier in April, I wrote a little poem I liked:

Daffodil The reflection of water on the wall Mercilessly moving The time is taking its toll The tall glass vase on the table Mercilessly staying still The time is writing its fable As it slowly comes to kill A beautiful yellow daffodil

Recently, I got back into writing fanfiction bc of watching KP, here's my fave line from my fic (ofc titled after MCR) The world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me:

Kinn sits up and studies the night in Bangkok. The bright yellow lights of the buildings are reflected in the darkness of the river. The Theerapanakul headquarters are amongst the brightest shining buildings, shaping the skyline of the city.  Sometimes the building feels like his home, swarming with memories of his brothers and him playing, of his mother reading them stories and preparing them for bed. Growing up made it feel like a prison in which he exists, simply fulfilling his destiny.

what is something that you’d like to create content for?

Before I got into KP brainrot, I really wanted to write for Beyond Evil, but never got to it. But now, I do have a pretty well-developed idea for a BE fic! Everything is on hold until I finish my thesis tho

A wild part of me also wants to stream The Sims4 let's play hahaah

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

My brain got a bit too tired to be obsessed in the purest sense of the word, but I'd say KP (and the actors who play them) still has a pretty strong chokehold on me.

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Honestly nothing. The things I was excited about were great, but the things I wasn't excited about were shit so lmao, as expected

what’s a hidden talent of yours?

Don't think I have one

are you religious?

I'm not, however, I'd still say I'm somewhat spiritual. I grew up catholic, but I realized it's just not for me. Since it's hard for me to believe there's nothing at all, so the closest to what I'd label myself as is agnostic.

what’s something you wish to have at this moment?

a finished thesis, so i have more time to relax and do my hobbies after work, one can dream ah

A no pressure tag for @tr1edandtrueblue if you feel like doing this :3

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Get to know me :) In a very detailed manner and all of this totally unnecessary and unneeded

(I found these random questions/"get to know me" thingies from Pinterest and left out a few things) I just wanted to do this because I'm hella bored and definitely shouldn't be studying

Definitely not

First name: Guess 📚

Middle name: Maria

Nickname: My friends call me Grandma, Gran and gran-gran.

Age: young and sweet, only seventeen

Height: 165.5 cm

Birthday: 31st of July

Zodiac sign: I'm a Leo ♌

Sexuality: Pan 🍳

Fave color: light pink, light purple and dark green

Fave animal/s: dogs and cats, foxes. Red pandas are cool too and reindeers. Oh oh and turtles

Pets: three dogs and four cats (in two different places tho)

Shoe size: 38-39 EU

Hair color: orange ish

How long is your hair: down to my shoulders

Eye color: blue green brown ish something I really don't know, they're weird. They like often change colors weirdly idk what's up with them. So, I usually stick with saying they're green

Do you have glasses: I do 🤓

Any siblings: half big sister and half big brother, so technically one right?

Where are you from: That there is a mystery 🌎, unless you're fucking Sherlock, or another fictional detective, or a stalker

Last dream: A nightmare of my grandma trying to kill our whole family

Fave book/s: One of the harry potters and heart stoppers. Also I love this Norse mythology book I have

Last book you bought: Poison, and before the coffee gets cold

Favorite hobby/hobbies: writing and crochet 🧶. Also I really like DND 🎲

Favorite game: Sims 4, Minecraft

Fave song/s: We made it - Louis Tomlinson, lowlife - YUNGBLUD, Mars - YUNGBLUD Call your mom - Noah Kahan and arsonist - Alec Benjamin, Body - Mother Mother, Miserable man - David Kusher, Holding on to heartache - Louis Tomlinson, Golden - Harry Styles (I'm sorry I couldn't pick just one) Theres so many more tho

Favorite artist/s: Louis Tomlinson (he's mainly on my play list) and I also like Harry styles. YUNGBLUD, Noah Kahan, David Kusher, Jordan Suaste, cavetown, Conan Gray... I like too many artists, okay?

Last song you listened to: Polygraph eyes - YUNGBLUD

Fave movie: Harry Potter Goblet of fire, I don't really watch movies 🎥 Sweeney Todd is good too

Religion: I'm a Christian, like I belong in the church but I don't really believe into anything, but I respect everyone who does <3

Have you been to the hospital: A lot when I was a child, last time was because of my knees

Ever gotten in trouble with the law: Nope

Met any celebrities: I've met a few YouTubers, does that count?

Baths or showers: Showers. Definitely showers 🚿

What color socks are you wearing: white with light purple stripes at the top

Would you like to be famous: not really no

How many pillows do you sleep with: Two, well one the other one just is kinda there but it's never under my head, it's to prop the other one up

Do you own stuffed animals: I do 🧸

If you do, how many: Six, can't sleep without one of them (it's a bunny). I lied there's seven

What position do you sleep in: The Superman position, y'know? 🦸‍♂️

What do you eat for breakfast: I don't eat breakfast, sometimes coffee though, coffee with oat milk is the best

Ever tried archery: I actually have, was my hobby for a year or something, spoiler alert; wasn't very good at it 🏹

Ever fired a gun: Nope and won't

Favorite clean word: fluffy, it's nice to say

Favorite curse word: Fuck, I say that way too much someone help me

Longest you've been without sleep: 23 hours

Have any scars: I do, a surgery scar on my knee, one on my upper lip from my teeth going through it, small one in the corner of my eyes, a lot on my knees from falling down as a kid so much, and then some others

Are you a good liar: I think I am

Can you do any accents (besides your own): Not really and I don't have that much of an accent, I think. Though my friends tell me I have a bit of a British accent, which is bizarre, and I don't really hear it myself.

What is your personality type: from the 16 personalities INFJ-T 🌛

Can you curl your tongue: I can, I can also do the flower thingy

Left or right handed: right handed

Are you scared of spiders: Sort of, I don't mind them as long as they're not near me

Favorite food: lasagna and tortillas

Are you a clean or a messy person: Messy but in an organized way 📦

Most used phrase: "No shit Sherlock" "no wayyy" "just...why?"

Most used word: Probably some curse word... Or "what" "why"

Do you suck or bite lollipops: Bite 😬

Do you talk to yourself: all the freaking time

Do you sing to yourself: I do, everytime I listen to music alone 😶‍🌫️

Are you a good singer: I'd like to say that I am, but I don't actually know

Biggest fear: someone murdering me (during the night with a knife), dislocating my knee, or any other part that can be dislocated (it hurts so fucking much, cannot recommend)

Can you name all the states: Maybe probably, haven't tried

Favorite school subject: Psychology or English 📖

Least favorite school subject: MATH, and chemistry, physics is sorta alright but I don't like the math part

Extrovert or introvert: as introverted as they come lol

Have you been scuba diving: Nope, probably never will go 🤿 deep waters scare me

What makes you nervous: Literally everything, it's called anxiety ✨

Are you scared of the dark: not anymore, unless it's outside, sometimes it's scary inside too, but not too often

Do you correct people if they make mistakes: Sometimes but not to be mean to them, but not like minor mistakes, unless I wanna annoy someone

Are you ticklish: Not really 🪶

Have you been in a position of authority: I've been a scout leader for the past three years, can't do it anymore tho, does that count?

Have you ever drank underage: Once because my sister forced me to, A glass of champagne how rebellious of me

Ever done drugs: Nope

Ever smoked anything: Nope x2

How many piercings do you have: I have earrings and snake bites 🐍 I really want an industrial but idk if I have the correct anatomy

How fast can you type: Somewhat fast, I'm faster on my phone than on a computer

Are you a fast learner: Depends on the subject, but usually yes

Can you roll your R's: No I cannot 🐐

Do you keep a journal: Every now and then, I'm not very consistent. But I do do bullet journaling in the back of my calendar

Do you like your age: ✨Sweet sixteen✨ It's fine, I don't really care I'd honestly rather be older ⚰️

Do you like your name: I think it's very pretty, I used to hate it tho when I was young (still kinda do, most of the time). It's fine but I just don't like using it with people

How did you get your name: From my mom and dad lol. No it "tells a story" and it suits well for English which my mom wanted, it's somewhat rare here where I live. With the spelling I have

Dream job: I have zero clue 🔎

What was your first job: A week at a daycare. But my first actual job (something I got paid for) was in a coffee shop for a summer

What places have you worked in: In a daycare and a preschool and two summers in that cafe, never going back there it was horrible

Last show you watched: Chicago med 🩺

Last show you finished: baby reindeer

Favorite show ever: Big bang theory, Chicago med, what we do in the shadows and 911. Oh, heartstopper :)

What is your earliest memory: Sitting on a dresser and my dad telling me to wait for a bit, or being on my mum's shoulders while she was doing something outside (I'm not sure which one is first)

Happiest memory: Moving away, getting into the school I wanted with good grades

When did you start this blog: May-June 2022

When did you start writing fanfic: January 2022 (The next few ones a writing related because they were in this one list of questions I found)

What was your first fic: Fred Weasley/reader definitely not with a self insert *cough cough.

How do you come up with ideas for writing: They just come up when I try to sleep, or am doing something random, or something happens so I just write it out. I hate brain storming with all my heart because nothing good comes up when I try

What character/s do you enjoy writing the most: Sirius and Remus <3, but lately I've fallen in love with Percy and Oliver and starchaser is always fun to write. Also lily and Pandora are lovely to write, I just never really do it

What character do you not enjoy writing: Any authoritative figure because it's hard and when there's multiple characters because it's hard to keep track

Is there a fic you regret writing: Not really, I mean I'm embarrassed of some of my writings, but it just shows that I've learned and I can write better now :)

Favorite thing you've written: "When I..." A long fic about a suicide attempt and it was very comforting to write, but then I think I've written a few good hurt/comfort fics. There's like very small bits of the stories that I absolutely love, and loved to write

What do you like to write: Hurt/comfort and just sad things, I feel like I'm good at it. I like descriptive writing too and I've been trying to work on it lately

What don't you like writing: Smut, I feel a little cringe when I write it, and like longer fics, I feel I can't come up with a good enough idea for a one 🤔 Also, I don't have the patience for that

Favorite characters: Sheldon Cooper from the big bang theory. Sirius and Remus obviously, Regulus, and then I like the Weasley twins... There's honestly too many that I like. But to mention a few more: Nick, Charlie, Elle, Tara and Darcy <3 and the art teacher I can't remember the name of from heartstopper. Loki <3. Will Halsted and Sharon Goodwin are the best characters in Chicago med, fight me. Laszlo from what we do in the shadows.

Do you keep a journal: I have a few pages in the back of my calendar for bullet journaling

One bad habit: self deprecation, I apparently do that too much. Source: my friends

What did you want to be as a child: I really wanted to be a chef or a baker

Who's the last person you held hands with: My friend when dancing, if that doesn't count, then with the same friend at a school Christmas party cause I almost lost them in the hallway 'cause there were a lot of people. Before that, no clue

Are you outgoing or shy: Shy with new people. I'm shyly outgoing lol

Who are you looking forward to seeing: My bestie haven't seen her in over a year

What does your most recent text say: "Alright :)" Another one cause it was around the same time but to a different person. "It's just a little guy"

Do you have trust issues. Oh yeah

Favorite part of your daily routine: Everything cause it always goes the same way. We love structure over here. But if I have to pick one, cracking my back every morning cause it's so satisfying

What do you do when you wake up: Turn off my alarm if it's on, then I go through the notifications on my phone and just lay there doing random things before I gotta get up. Usually reading actually if I have enough time and oh, always listen to a podcast/music

Morning routine: What I just mentioned, but when I get up, I drink water and take my meds, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth. If I'm going somewhere I pack my stuff, and then dress up. If I'm not going anywhere, I usually start watching something and drink coffee in peace and then change clothes

Evening routine: I shower, wash my face, sometimes eat something and change into pyjamas. Mark stuff in my calendar, do my journaling and then I get into bed. I usually read before sleeping, a book or fanfic.

Do you like your neighbors: I don't really know our neighbors 👀 except the ones I dog sit for. Oh at least one of our neighbors thinks I'm creepy. (Literally steered their kids away from me while I was coming from school.)

Is your hair long enough for a ponytail: it is, I just often don't keep it in one. Unless it's dirty or I'm alone and need it to get it out of the way

How many languages can you speak: Two (actually three but I'm really bad at the third one) I picked french for next year tho :)

Can you cook: Yep, I'm quite good at it. I can bake too

Last time you cried: A few days ago because I was feeling like an absolutely horrible human being

How long does it take you to get ready: Like 10 minutes lol ⏱️

Favorite number: 5. Five is the Ultimate number, and everything either ends in five or is divisible by five. I've always liked the number five :3

Alright 😮‍💨

That was quite long, Sorry about that, I just like questions :)

If there is something you wanna know for some reason, feel free to ask. Like I said I like questions.

I might write more things here, if I think of something or find something fun

Feel free to use these if you want, I just want to note that most of these I did not make up myself and I don't know who did.

Enjoy this I guess I just got inspired and stopped studying for this, anyone I can blame on my English grade after this 👀

Also there's almost hundred of you following me, that's so weird....

<3

[boyjoan]

hello my dear henry! how has your january been!!!!!!!!!! have you had anything lovely to eat lately? have you eaten any new poems? i would love to hear about your life and i hope there's been plentiful kindnesses and wonders <3 love you muchly darling !!!!!!!

JAM!!! SHOUTING AND CHEERING it's so good to see youuu. Omg i have had some great meals lately due to my mother's birthday!! We went to a restaurant called Pizza Pilgrims in London and they are sooo bloody good. The owners went on a massive trip to Italy and learnt everything from experts on how to make the best pizza and let me tell you they deliver..god. i have NOT been reading as much as i would like but i bought amanda gorman's poetry anthology and i intend to read it as soon as i finish ultra processed people, a nonfiction book about processed food and the economics of what we eat - basically a book designed for meee!!

I also went to france so i have eaten. So much delicious cheese. And bread. God. It has been so wonderful.

MUCH love to you always sweetheart!!! Ty for checking in!!! <333

[grad604-kannonhen]

mid sem objects 3

The two art books:

Tekkonkinkreet art book Shiro:

Tekkonkinkreet is an animation film by Studio 4C, original manga by Taiyo Matsumoto. I was gifted this book for my 18th birthday by my mother and younger sister. The Shiro (meaning white in Japanese, also being the name of one of the main characters) version showcases the background art used in the final movie. Background art of animation movies, particularly hand-drawn ones, has always been one of my core artistic inspirations starting from Studio Ghibli. It has always been a dream of mine to collect art books and this is the first ever one I owned which already makes it incredibly special for me. Tekkonkinkreet has won many awards, one of which is the Japan Academy Prize for Animation of the Year; it incorporates hand-drawn illustrations combined with 3D technology which creates immersive camera movements while keeping the tactile quality of hand-drawn background. The artwork of Tekkonkinkreet stunned me and has affected my creative eye. The old nostalgic broken down cityscape and the density of the place are inspired by actual location in Japan and is depicted in the fictional reality, realistic fiction. It reminds me of the Tokyo Chaotic style named by Perimetron.

Tekkonkinkreet art book Kuro:

I was gifted the Kuro(meaning black in Japanese, the name of the other main character) version this year for my 20th birthday. The Kuro version showcases more of the behind-the-scenes works like the storyboarding process and initial sketches done by the art director of the film, Shinji Kimura. After having looked through the Shiro version first, looking at the sketches that came before all that deepens the world-building and makes it even more immersive. As a viewer we rarely ever get a chance to see the storyboarding process or initial sketches so it was a special experience for me.

Drawing tablets:

Wacom drawing tablet:

Wacom is a Japanese company famous for creating drawing tablets, founded in 1983 having its head office in Saitama prefecture Japan. This is the first ever drawing tablet I bought for myself. It's the smallest size sold from Wacom and honestly, it isn't the easiest thing to use, but it still is special for me because it is what enabled me to start digital drawing. Digital drawing as a medium was a complete change from the traditional paintings and analogue drawings that I did throughout my life up until then, and it has influenced my interest in Japanese internet culture. It led to me looking through many artists online with the same practice and learning from their beautiful works. It was also a tool that was essential for creating some university projects like the concertina or the awareness campaign. It is a beginning and an end to certain chapters of my creative journey and as crucial key object for the development of my illustration practice.

XP-Pen display drawing tablet:

The display drawing tablet was an upgrade from the small tablet. I only got this last year and it was a major turning point in my illustration process and workflow as well as my mindset as a creative. I used to not take illustration very seriously and was only little doodles on the side of school work I didn't want to do, thus why I spent a minimum amount of money for the smallest tablet available. However, as I drew more and more, like any other creative person, I started seeing my limits and lack of technique or skill. I abandoned drawing all the time, and I still do, but purchasing this large tablet marks a change in my efforts and the significance of illustration within myself that it's a good equipment that I own so I must use it up to its potential.

[scarfacemarston]

honey and candle for Abigail & sunflower for you for the gentle cottagecore asks :)

Thank you for the ask <3 I need to decide if I should answer these as her or not. lol I did start this as an rp thing, but I can't decide. Let me know what you think! Prompt here for anyone interested! 🍯 Honey: What is one thing you like about yourself? She actually doesn't have a lot of things she likes about herself. She doesn't hate herself! She really struggled with self-image and self-confidence when she was younger, but became more confident when she was older. She threw herself into everything. She's still hard on herself, though. She'd say that she likes her singing voice, the way she can speak her mind, and her eyes. Modern Au doesn't wear a lot of makeup, but she always tries to accent her eyes more than anything else. She also found that she likes her height! She used to be a bit self-conscious about it, but that's changed. She's able to do a lot of things her friends can't so she's fine with the tall friend designation.

🕯️ Candle: What is something you can’t go to bed without?  Canon: She was hardly ever able to own anything, partially because she lacked the money but also because it was one less item that could be lost or stolen. Instead, she relies on habits. She has to braid her hair and say her prayers every night. It's something she's done every night since her father taught her how to braid when her mother passed when she was born. Her father was a devout Christian and would pray every night, with her joining him as far back as she could remember. She always felt it was silly during her sex work days and her days as a thief, but she still didn't quite ever lose her faith. Modern Au: She has to read! She finds she can't go to sleep until she's read something. She'd prefer a book because of the escapism or she likes to learn new things. If she can't find anything else, she'll find something of John's, even if it's his mechanic magazine. It'll confuse her enough to get sleepy. Bonus: She also loves a good cup of tea. Canon Abigail views it as a treat as it always relaxes her for the rest of the day. John bought her some spiced orange tea for her birthday, and she considers it one of the best gifts she's ever had. It may not be typical, like chamomile tea, but she still slept well after that. For me! That is surprising! : D 🌻 Sunflower: What is one thing that brightened your day today? I made a peach pie, and I found everything I needed to start writing my thesis again!

[gnomeyflamingo]

✯ A Sim-ply Historical House Party ✯

Today Kiry is graduating High School. His absurdly wealthy & famous mothers have bought a TS2 re-creation of the Beaker House to host his themed costume party in. Ofcs, Acco, and Atreo are invited!

Atreo: “Omw, look at it! It’s exactly as described in our history books!”

Acco: “Hiya Kiry!"

Kiry: “Good evening and welcome! I appreciate the effort you put into your costumes, I can very easily tell you are meant to be Don Lothario and Pascal Curious."

Acco: “I’m so excited, congrats again on graduating and with such high grades!”

Kiry: “Thank you!"

Atreo: “I’m in awe, the attention to detail… I never knew your mums were so rich!”

Kiry: “They truly went all out. We even have a DJ and a juice keg for the occasion.”

Atreo: “Juice?! This party is gonna be amazing!"

Acco: “Pascal and Nervous were such a good idea for a couples’ costume by the way.”

Kiry: “I can’t even explain how right this feels. Seeing us both dressed like this is making me happy and highly flirty."

Atreo: “Yes!! Juice, juice, JUICE! Let’s all get dazed!”

Atreo: “Really? Cassandra? Don’s fiancée? Coincidence much?”

Zehra: “It's not. I did my research.”

Atreo: "You went through my trash again, didn't you?"

Zehra: "Ah you got me!"

Atreo: "It's a good thing I like you."

Kiry: "You… do? I need to process this information."

Most of the guests head into the courtyard to dance to the TS2 soundtrack. Everybody seems to be having a blast. It's a hot, sweaty night so the juice is flowing fast.

Acco: “I swear Atreo’s not paying any attention to me at all. I bet he still doesn't know about me and Kiry. I’ve told him like 3 times! I have a feeling he’s not gonna like it…”

Onyx: “Oh who cares what your stupid brother thinks? You’re happy, that’s all that matters."

Acco: “I suppose… great costumes btw guys.”

Onyx: “Who knew dressing as a 40-something Mum would feel this comfortable?”

Acco: “Denise you really look like Olive Specter. It’s scaring me.”

Denise: “Aw thank you Acco. You won’t end up in my garden tonight.”

Derya: “Do you need help?”

Zehra: “Ha! Not from you. I can’t believe you dressed as gold digger Dina.”

Derya: “Esma suggested we be the twins-"

Zehra: “You always leave me out! I wanted to be Nina and dream about hottub woohoo with Atreo.”

Derya: “Go and snipe at Esma then."

Derya: “ Wow Atreo, you totally pull off the Don look.”

Atreo: “Thanks, you make a good Dina.”

Derya: “You up for some roleplay? We could mess around in the shower?"

Atreo: "Oh Dina, we shouldn't. I’m engaged."

Derya: "It'll be our secret. Meet me in the bathroom later."

Atreo: “Hey! Cool costumes… You’re the Burbs right?”

Asmara: “Yup, John and Jennifer. Where’ve you been Atreo? I haven’t seen you in ages, we should really catch up… as friends I mean.”

Atreo: “Yeah… Sorry. Later. So does this mean you’re a couple?”

Asmara: “What? No!”

Aldo: “OMW I’m into guys. I told you this. We both have! Do you listen, like ever?”

Asmara: Yeah this is just a friend thing, we thought it’d be cute.”

Atreo: “Oh thank the Watcher.”

Esma: “If you’re Don Lothario, where’s your beard?”

Atreo: “Ugh I couldn’t grow it and my cheeks are just too silky smooth to glue on a fake one.”

Esma: “Your lack of commitment is disappointing.”

Atreo: “Hey you’re Nina, you’re meant to be into me!”

Atreo: “Are you excited for your birthday tomorrow?”

Zehra: “Not really, but I’m excited about yours! A young adult in two days! I wonder what your rolls will be?”

Atreo: “Yeah well, I’ve been trying not to think about it.”

Atreo: “The Watcher and their friends really don’t like me, so my future is looking bleak… Yeah not gonna dwell on it.”

Zehra: “Don’t worry my love. I will be there to support you every step of the way.”

Derya: “Sooo I’m heading to the bathroom just so you know.”

Zehra: “Uck you’re so weird and gross. I’m gonna hack your social bunny and tell everybody."

Atreo: "And I'm gonna go to set off the fireworks I bought real fast. My bladder bar is very low suddenly."

Atreo quickly heads up the stairs to light the fireworks he set up earlier, looking forward to messing around with Derya. He’s determined to distract himself from all the stuff he doesn’t want to accept is happening and is completely unaware of what he’s about to witness…

(for app) >> Next Page >> Previous Page

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[levi-supreme]

Rei, Rei! How was the pregnancy with Renée? How did you deliver the news to Levi and maman heheh

Lots of hugs :3

🥰

Charlotte my precious I— 🥺💖 I adore you so much TAKE MY LOVE!!!!!!! I'm gonna answer this below the cut because knowing me, I'm going to go sappy and talk too much.

Warnings: Block the tags #levi x rei and #reivi to avoid the cringe. It's EXTREMELY cringey hehe. Also talks about pregnancy and all that jazz so. Don't mind me and my unhinged thoughts.

So. It happened after the events of Dance with Me. It was about two weeks after Levi's birthday, and then I got worried because my period wasn't here. I was paranoid because my period was always regular, so I felt something was up. Levi and I bought a home pregnancy test kit, and oh boy we were so damn nervous when we were waiting for the results. That five minutes of waiting felt like the longest five minutes ever. Levi kept pacing back and forth, and I was just sitting on the chair fidgeting around and..... nervously waiting for time to pass.

And then..... once five minutes were up, we checked the kit and.........

We saw it. Two lines. On the test kit.

It took us a while before we registered that oh. It's positive. It's a baby. WE'RE HAVING A BABY. WE'RE GOING TO BECOME PARENTS. And then Levi and I just hugged each other and cried because we never expected ourselves to be so lucky (like.. oh god. We hit the jackpot on our first try...? hehe >//<).

We didn't know what to do, so Levi called Hange to ask for help because they were a gynaecologist. Hange then arranged an appointment for us at the hospital they work at, and that's how Hange became our gynae hehe. And somehow, Hange got Moblit along too, so they were the first two to know about our pregnancy.

Levi and I decided to wait before telling Maman partly because of superstition haha, and also just to make sure every thing went well, because Hange told Levi that the first trimester is the most crucial time. Once we were sure that everything was going well, we asked Maman over for dinner one night. I was about 10 weeks pregnant and even though my bump was tiny, it was kinda obvious too. After dinner, we told Maman to join us in the living room, and then, Levi just... casually slid over a sonogram on the table XD

Maman was like "eh?" until she took a closer look and realised what it was 🥺 she was really happy for us too!! We all just hugged each other and wept tears of joy haha. And then... knowing my mother-in-law..... she casually commented, "is the baby a birthday baby?" and then Levi and I just went (●__●) because... uh... indeed the baby was the result of some hot steamy birthday s*x LOL. She touched my bump and guessed our baby is a girl XD

But yes!! Aunty Kuchel was so supportive during my pregnancy, and Levi was being so attentive to me too. This was our first child, and we were all so careful with everything. My morning sickness was pretty bad at first, and then it got better by the second trimester. We listened to every thing Hange and Moblit told us to do, and we even started to baby-proof our house. Levi even wanted to buy books on parenting and all that to read.

Deep down, I know he's scared and worried, because he grew up without a father, and he's afraid that he can't be a good father to our baby. I told him I didn't have confidence that I'll be a good mother too. No one is born a good parent, and we learn along the way. I told Levi that I had absolute faith that he's going to be the best Papa in the world.

Come 16 September 2016..... my contractions started in the afternoon. Levi was so worried, he flew me to the hospital where Hange and Moblit worked. I didn't tell Levi, but I was really scared. What was I afraid of? The pain? Perhaps. Levi stayed by my side throughout. He was also really nervous too, but he tried to hide it.

Come 10-ish pm or so... Hange said I was really close, and you know... it's the part where you keep going 'PUSH!!!!'. And let me tell you.....

Ow. The pain??????????? I angrily told Levi that I am never giving birth again. I clenched his hand so hard while I tried to push. And then, at past 11pm, Renée Naomi Ackerman was born 💖

When Hange passed her to me, and the moment I saw her, I felt like all the pain I went through was worth it. Levi and I brought a little angel to this world, and we are going to give her the best we can. Of course, there was lots of crying (from me XD). Levi tried to hide it, but I know he shed a few drops of tears too. Moblit told him to cut Renée's umbilical cord and Levi was like ????? hahaha. Moblit had to guide him on how to cut the umbilical cord and boy let me tell you.... that moment was so precious too.

As much as we don't show our children favouritism and bias, Levi and I both know that Renée will always be our favourite child haha, because she's a (literal) gift to us ❤️

----

Okay this is all for my little journey with Renée hehe. Of course, if you wanna know about the twins and/or baby Charlotte, then hehe let me know. I adore you a lot my darling Charlotte, and thank you for sending me this 💘