#i bet she’s murdering ‘em

[britcision]

…….. hey gang fun fact

Most of the scans I’ve seen of the Dungeon World Guide say that Pattadol’s been told Mithrun’s partners die fast and she’s refusing to give into it

The official translation specifies that it’s only the guards

Just the guards who partner with him keep dying

Wonder how long he’s had the same four convicts

[meraxes-of-new-albion]

Any minute now.....

Aaaaaaaany minute now........

Three different places who ALL interviewed me TWICE.....

If you wanna call please do............

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: “This is the worst idea we’ve ever had.”

Vaggie: “Do we have a better one?”

Charlie: “Give up before I burn down half of Pentagram City??”

Vaggie: “That’s plan B, babe.”

Charlie: “It’s gonna be plan A for Already Happening at this rate!”

Vaggie: “Look, I don’t like it any more than you do-”

Charlie: “THEN SWITCH WITH ME!”

Angel Dust: “Said the bi lady to her lesbian lover.”

Charlie: “I’M NOT LOVING THIS! Why can’t I be the on who has to do the fake date thing!? At least I’ve dated guys before! Once!!!”

Vaggie: “Because-”

Alastor: “Ha ha HA… My dear, I’m afraid I DO prefer living, amusingly enough~”

Charlie: “Then keep the touching. To a MINIMUM.”

Vaggie: “Sweetie, the whole point is to trick people into thinking I’ve double crossed you so they’ll tell us about how they wanna double cross you. It’s not really going to work if the one selling you out is… you.”

Charlie: “But this is stupid- no one in their right mind is going to look at YOU and think ‘now THERE’S a woman who would date a MAN!’”

Angel Dust: “Biphobia~”

Husk: “Still fucking true.”

Vaggie: “Charlie c’mon- If you were a dude I’d date you.���

Charlie: “You’d figure out how to still be lesbian about it, trust me.”

Alastor: “Now there’s a thought! I COULD do my best impression of a lesbian, if that would help with the immersion?”

Vaggie: “What, like. Wear a pin?”

Charlie: “I do NOT need this situation to be in any way believable! The structural integrity of our HOTEL does NOT need me feeling this is even slightly more real.”

Alastor: “But our foes do require enough to be fooled by, I am afraid.”

Angel Dust: “Well that’s this plan out the window…”

Vaggie: “I can’t picture you as a lesbian.”

Angel Dust: “He’s not giving guy fucker vibes either, toots, bein’ fair.”

Husk: “It’s just fucker. In a platonic, shitty way.”

Alastor: “And you would know, hmmm~?”

Charlie: “Can’t we just dress me up as someone else?? Put me in a glamor, or-”

Vaggie: “No one is gonna hear you talk and not know who you are."

Charlie: "RRRGH."

Vaggie: "Which I love, by the way. Along with everything else.”

Charlie: “Well what if I just don’t talk! You- you could be into the silent, brooding types!”

Vaggie: “If I’d met you during the emo phase then yeah sure. But Alastor's the one who knows these assholes-”

Angel Dust: “WAIT go back- her WHAT phase!?”

Charlie: (SQUEAKS)

Vaggie: “Em… emoticon. Her. Emoji era.”

Angel Dust: “She was emo??” (at charlie) “YOU WERE EMO!?!? With the hair dye an’ the dead roses and shit????”

Charlie: “I was a TEEN! Kinda!! I was, barely through my first four decades of life-!”

Vaggie: “And dealing with a lot.”

Charlie: “-the whole ‘oh all of creation hates your home and you and everyone you love’ thing was starting to sink in, as well as all the, the murder and stuff happening just outside our house-”

Vaggie: “The hair dye made her happy so shut up.”

Angel Dust: “Oh we GOTTA get you back in your emo duds someday, Charlie Chip! This is GOLDEN!”

Alastor: “What, my dears, is an emo phase?”

Husk: “Angry at the world and making it the world’s problem by staying in your fucking room with the lights dim as fuck, turning it into a 3D model of all your psychological hang-ups and listening to tortured screams and shit.”

Alastor: “Ah. A lovely Saturday afternoon. I DO enjoy those.”

Everyone Else: “…..”

Alastor: “?”

Angel Dust: “Alright. So he’s maybe got some teen girl vibes goin’ on. That’s a start ain’t it?”

Vaggie: “….maybe we could say I lost my soul to him in a bet or something.”

Charlie: “Don’t even JOKE about that!!!!!”

Husk: “Fucking copycat.”

Angel Dust: “Copy what, Mr. kittens?”

Husk: (hisses)

Alastor: “Now now, Husk. Play NICE.”

Husk: “…you got it, boss.”

Alastor: (pats his head) "Very good."

Angel Dust: (CRINGING)

Charlie: "Alastor- could you um, maybe not??"

Alastor: "Hmm? Not what, my dear?"

Vaggie: "Oh you fucking KNOW what, pendejo." (glares) “Fuck the fake soul selling. I’d probably kill him if he talked to me like that.”

Alastor: “That MIGHT put a damper on our budding relationship, ha ha!”

Vaggie: “Touch me and you WILL die.”

Alastor: “Oh ho! A long distance romance I see!”

Vaggie: “That’s not convincing anyone either. You hold still, I’ll, ugh.” (grimace) “Touch your arm or something.”

Husk: “Eugh.”

Angel Dust: “Basic house rules.” (shrug) “Maybe it’ll work?”

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: “I can’t. I can’t do this.”

Vaggie: “Charlie it’s just for one evening-”

Charlie: “No. Just, just let all of hell plot against me! It’s fine.”

Vaggie: “Babe that is so not fine.”

Charlie: “It’s fine!!!”

Husk: “Carpet’s on fucking fire.”

Charlie: “Shit. Alastor- I need you to step away from Vaggie before I burn the hotel to the ground, starting with you.”

Vaggie: “Hot.”

Angel Dust: “Siiiiimp...”

Husk: (smirk)

Alastor: “I suppose disguising me as a FLAMING lesbian would be a BIT much.” (steps away) "Better?"

Charlie: (hugging vaggie) “Further please, Alastor. Further. A, a little more? Mm- no, further than that…”

(many steps later)

Charlie: “Juuuust a few more steps…”

Charlie: “Okay! I think I can finally be comfortable with this!!!”

Vaggie: “He can’t hear you, sweetie. He's half way across the hotel.”

Charlie: “Oh.”

[anisespice]

“ headshot ” || tokyo rev. 

synopsis: how the bonten execs. would react to a gun being pointed at you/your head. 

pairing: bonten x fem!reader

warnings: mature language, gun violence, reader cries in some, mentions of bodily harm (only on the antags), and i think that’s it

notes: thought of this while on a car ride, staring at trees…not sure what that says about me, but here she is lol i’m a little iffy on mikey’s since i think his was the shortest, but i liked keeping some of these open-ended. hope you enjoy!

manjiro ッ 

Wouldn’t react much on the outside, but on the inside that man could probably melt a building with his rage alone. It occurred during a small gathering amongst investors, corrupt and all. You had been by his side throughout the whole night until you left to go to the bathroom…that was several minutes ago. He’s already a paranoid man, so the moment the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, he gave Sanzu a pointed look—Find her.  

However, that wouldn’t be necessary. 

Before the cotton candy-haired gangster even had time to get excited about the potential hunt, some bootlicker came barreling through the crowd with you in a headlock, and a gun pressed into your temple. Both of you looked disheveled, no doubt your doing from putting up a good fight, he proudly noted. The fucker probably ambushed you in the bathroom, taking his opportunity when you left Mikey’s side—Pussy-ass bitch. He didn’t know if the guy was bold or just plain stupid standing smack-dab in the lion’s den, threatening the only life Mikey found precious. 

“Nobody moves! Or I’ll blow her goddamn brains out!”  

Didn’t matter, though. He’d surely pay with his. 

sanzu ッ

Over a game of poker, some guy whose luck just wasn’t on his side decided he deserved retribution—And you were unfortunately the one to pay it forward. You were perched on Sanzu’s lap, sitting prettily as you laughed at the silly men crying after taking a heavy loss from your man. For him, it was like nails on a chalkboard hearing you mock the table alongside that crackhead, his inferiority complex spewing venomous thoughts in his head that you needed to be taken down a couple notches. 

A death wish. That dumbass had a death wish. 

He abruptly stood, knocked the table over and aimed his sorry excuse of a gun right at you, rendering everyone else speechless. Sanzu barely reacted but felt you startle, cooing softly in your ear as he lovingly tapped you on the thigh in reassurance. You relaxed instantly, eyeing down the barrel of the gun with mirth as the guy began to shake. Blame it on the alcohol, blame it on the heat of the moment, or even the bottomless debt he just put himself in, but one thing was for certain—He fucked up big time, no rush. 

You couldn’t see it, but Sanzu had murderous intent hidden behind his calm exterior. And everyone at that table knew it as they scattered from the scene. Probably wasn't the smartest choice to bet his luck against yours, though. For someone who was already absolute dogshit at poker, Sanzu figured he’d be doing this guy a favor anyways. 

“How ballsy of you. Guess I’d better cut ‘em off.”

ran ッ

Not gonna lie, whoever decided to test his gangsta like that would surely need to evaporate IMMEDIATELY after because there’s absolutely no SHOT of them, they mama, they second cousin, or even that one neighbor who used to live by them, surviving this man’s wrath.

Especially if they tried it in his own home.

The poor guy didn’t even get to make his demands, Ran was on him so quick he damn near broke the laws of physics. You’d never seen a grown man beg for mercy to the point of literally pissing himself before, but it definitely lightened your mood. You even pointed and laughed, despite the tears still falling down your face from the unpleasant experience. Ran merely grinned adoringly at you as he twisted the assailant’s arm in three different ways.

“There’s my favorite smile ♡. I’ll make sure this fucker suffers for almost taking it away from me, angel.”

rindou ッ

It’s always the younger siblings that are the more unhinged. He already don’t play that bullshit when it comes to you, your safety becoming one of his main priorities the moment you agreed to be with him. Anyone who dared to compromise that would fuck around and find out.

And eventually, someone did.

To be fair, the guy who pulled the gun on you didn’t know any better. As far as he was concerned, he was doing his job in making sure unauthorized civilians in the building were to be eradicated immediately. Especially those who claim to know anyone from Bonten without some sort of proof.

Because your relationship was hush-hush to most, if not all staff, it was no wonder homie didn’t believe you. But, it didn’t matter. As soon as Rindou found out the commotion going on in the lobby had to do with you, and some dumbass subordinate holding a gun to your head???

That walking mullet made that guy’s trigger finger into a necklace and forced him to wear it as a reminder.

kakucho ッ

A wild card, truly. He can’t afford to be anything but mr. calm and collected, especially in hostile situations. On one hand, he knows that getting worked up will do neither of you any good. And on the other hand…

When he got the video of you being held for ransom by some backstreet lowlife, gun pressed to your temple as you’re forced to read out their petty demands, Kakucho wanted to set the whole city on fire. His entire being vibrated, teeth clenched so hard you’d need a crowbar to unhinge it. Even Mikey eyed him sideways for a moment before reassuring him that you would be found, and that those amateurs would be handled. Kakucho growled lowly, dual-colored eyes piercing through the souls of every subordinate in the room.

“If she doesn’t make it out of this alive, none of you will.”

© 2022-2023 anisespice ッ all rights reserved. likes, comments & reblogs much appreciated!

[drugsorgasmsandcheese]

i’m not going anywhere | j. miller

joel miller x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of joel’s suicide attempt, mental health problems, reader & joel being purely in love and devoted to each other i love it 💯, age gap (reader in 20’s, joel in 50’s), violence, murder, death, angst, reader being ellie’s mother figure YES MA’AM, flashbacks in italics, reader has a past with david, no word count cause i forgot 😔

i bet your shoulders can hold more than

just the straps of that tiny dress

that i’ll help you slide aside

when we get home

joel watches you from across the room, talking to some of the other women in jackson. he sees you laughing, the sight of your smile putting him at ease, knowing that you were at least comfortable.

it’s been a few months since the three of you arrived in jackson: yourself, joel and ellie. ellie was the first one to settle in, happy to be somewhere that wasn’t the QZ or the outside world, and you were soon to follow after her. all you ever wanted was a peaceful place to live, and jackson was the closest thing to it. and joel, he was the last, but only because he couldn’t settle until both you and ellie had.

the dress you wore was white and short, it hugged your chest tightly and pushed your breasts up like a corset would. joel didn’t know where you found that dress, but he’s glad you did. all he’s been thinking about is taking you home, slipping that dress off your body and worshipping you like a theist to their god.

he walks over, places his hand on your waist in a gentle grip and forcefully smiles at the rest of the women. “excuse me, ladies, need some time with my girl.” joel watches as the women nod enthusiastically, he doesn’t know if it’s because they like how he treats you or just like him. he doesn’t know because he can’t read other women, he’s only ever spent his time learning you.

“hi, honey.” you smile brightly at him, looking into his eyes with such care that joel feels himself melting under your gaze.

“missed ‘ya, darlin.” he tells you, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, causing you to giggle.

“was only across the room. could’ve joined in the conversation.” he hums, continuing to press a series of kisses across your face. “joel!” you squeal playfully.

“wouldn’t be able to focus when i got you by my side, darlin.” his southern twang hits in the pet name. “‘specially when you wear that dress. ‘s sin, baby, look at ‘cha .” he runs his hands up and down your hips, drawing you in closer to his chest. you smile at him, hands hooking together round the back of his neck. “feel so damn good against me, sugar.”

you giggle. “then do something about it, tex.” joel stares at you, hunger flashing through his brown eyes as he drunkenly takes you in. he’s drunk off you, the idea of you, the thought of you. he’s wrapped around your finger, and if he has it his way, you’ll be wrapped up in the sheets together in no time.

i’ve seen em carry family

and the steel drum weight of me

effortless just like that dress

that i’ll help off

that day was the worst. joel being injured meant you and ellie were left to your own. she trusted you, she always did, you had always cared for her. before marlene, before joel; there was you. you taught her the tricks with her knife, you taught her how to tackle, to fight, the same way your uncle taught you when the outbreak began.

two innocent, vulnerable women seen by themselves in the wilderness would’ve caught anyone’s attention. especially ellie, a young girl who seemingly looks alone and lost. you knew you should’ve fought harder to have her stay with joel whilst you collect supplies. it wasn’t her fault you both got caught in that position, you should’ve warned her.

but it was too late.

you were both locked up in delegate cages across the room from one another. david torments you by talking to ellie. he doesn’t know that you’re not the same scared little girl you were way back when your uncle was still alive, but he will know soon. when his time has come.

he seems giddy as he walks over to her, child-like charm in his step, maybe from all the years he’d snatched it away from other children did he take it for himself. you didn’t understand that before, but you do now. you understand perfectly. you know who he is, what he does, you watched and experienced it for an entire three days.

but, for whatever reason, you’re back in his trap, ellie by your side. making every killer instinct in your body heighten.

you looked over to her. she was sat down whilst you were stood up. she’s looking at you in what you know is fear, and for a second, her face blurs and you’re staring into the eyes of your fourteen year old self. you’re snapped out of it by david telling her to look at him, not you. his hand reaches behind the bars of her cell. that’s when you snap.

“move the fuck away, david.” you hiss, body pressed up against the bars of your cell. he looks at you, smirks, before turning back round to face ellie. you know you’re letting him win by reacting to his psychological torture, this warfare he seems to have mastered countless times, but he doesn’t know who you are now, what you’re capable of. so you showed him.

ellie stood watching as you stabbed him with his own machete. you didn’t notice she was still with you, but ideally, you should’ve known better. you should’ve known she doesn’t go anywhere without you.

you’re crying out, over and over again as you face the brute that is reality as it strikes you in the face, harder than the machete does to david. ellie almost faced the same fate you did, she’s seen too much, she’s been through too much, she’s only a kid. you could’ve done better to protect her. you could’ve-

hands cupping your face stop your train of thoughts and your actions. joel is knelt down next to you, looking at you with such sincerity and love that you can’t even process that his injury is healed and that he’s here. his hands feel so soft, so tender. they are calloused and rough from years of hard labour but the way he holds you suggests differently, like he’s spent a lifetime waiting to hold you.

“baby, look at me.” his texan accent heightened. “sweet girl,” his pointer finger gently taps your cheek “look at me. i got you. ‘s just us, baby, ‘s just us.” you feel ellie by your side again, and you unconsciously lift your arm for her to tuck herself into your side as joel welcomes you both into his waiting arms.

“‘s just us.”

—

you had come back to the house after being out in the school the entire day. you had never considered yourself as someone who liked kids, too sticky and messy for you. ellie was the only exception, and she had been with you since you were a teenager.

maria was opting to give you the job at the school per your request. you wanted something easy, something that didn’t require you to look over your damn shoulder every waking second. you wanted to settle, to rest, to find peace, and you finally had the opportunity to do so in jackson.

when you got to the house that joel, ellie, and yourself were staying at, you didn’t expect to hear shouting. you ran up the stairs, just in time to see joel leave ellie’s room. you glare at him, hitting his shoulder with your own as he walks past. you make your way over to ellie, but you can tell by the way she doesn’t look your way that she wants to be by herself. you whisper to her, before leaving and walking into joel’s room.

“what the fuck was that?” the venomous tone in your voice causes his gaze to snap towards you. “the fuck did you say to her.”

“calm down-”

“calm down? calm down?! you tell me what you said to her right now, joel.” you move towards him, finger pushing into his chest. he sighs, gently moving your hand away.

“started talking to me about loss. she doesn’t know what loss is.” he says with such certainty, like he’s confident in his words and that makes the urge to hit him heighten. joel shakes his head. “ain’t her damn father, either.”

“think about what you’ve just said.”

“darlin-”

“dont darlin’ me! ellie watched her best friend turn into a fucking infected and couldn’t do anything until i showed up! you know how much she begged me not to kill riley?” your eyes tear up. “she begged, pleaded with me, joel. i couldn’t risk it. i couldn’t risk riley hurting her. i couldn’t live with that.” your breathing is erratic. “then tess, then sam and…and you pushing her away isn’t helping.”

you’re angry, you’re in his face practically hissing at him. “we’ve all lost something, joel. she lost her childhood, her best friend. the only people she has right now are me and you, and if you’re not willing to be there, then fucking go! ‘cause i’m staying, with or without you i’m staying with her.” a tear slides down your cheek, and you’re quick to wipe it away.

“you may not be her father, but the way you act with her says otherwise, ‘nd i’m not giving that girl another person to lose. so either stay, or don’t bother. but if you choose the latter…don’t come near us again.”

—

“don’t tempt me, darlin’.” joel smirks, lips lightly grazing your cheek as they make their way back down to your lips. he pecks them one, two, three times before you’re pulling him in for a passionate and heartfelt kiss.

“not doing anything.” you laugh into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck, fingers twirling into the bottom of his curled hair and he elicits a hushed groan. “just showing my man some love, that so bad, tex?”

he pulls away, leaning his forehead against yours. “say your goodbyes, baby, ‘m taking you home.” joel lightly kisses your forehead. “ellie’s staying with dina tonight, means you’re all mine.” he smirks, kissing your forehead again.

“oh really?” you grin, now holding his hand in yours. his smirk widens, and it tells you that he’s not joking. that you have ten seconds to wander off to say your goodbyes or else he’s carrying you over his shoulder out of here. “i’ll be back.”

he watched you walk over to the women, giving them all a gentle hug as you wave your goodbyes. telling them that you best get home before ellie starts to grow concerned. when you’re finished, you walk back over to joel, who wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you into him as you walk away.

because i’ve seen you

and i know you

and i’m not going anywhere

“i’m scared.” he says. you look up at him, arms folded over your chest. it’s not long after your earlier confrontation about what he said to ellie. you’re both sat across from each other, him sat at the dining room table and you on the sofa.

“about what?” you ask.

“she…i can’t protect her. not like you can. i’m old an…and i’m tired, darlin’. i ain’t made for this, can’t look after myself, let alone a teenage girl and yourself.” he doesn’t look at you whilst he speaks. it’s like he can’t say it to your face, saying it to your face means the truth in his admission and he’s not ready to look into your alluring eyes and face the reality of his feelings.

“you’ve taken care of us pretty damn well, joel.” you sit up, arms no longer folded but bent and resting on your knees.

“but i won’t for much longer. i’m so much older than you, sweetheart, i’m fuckin’ deaf in one ear and i ain’t as sharp as i used to be. ellie needs someone to protect her, ‘s why she’s got you.”

“she has you too.”

“i can’t help her, can’t be the man you need, either.” he takes a deep breath in, and your eyes catch the way his hands slightly tremble. he’s never been like this with anyone, so vulnerable, so open. him and tess seemed to have their own dynamic. business partners, friends, lovers, whatever the fuck it was, but you can tell by the lack of eye contact and body language that he never opened up to her like he’s doing with you right now.

“when…when the dogs were there, smelling her. i knew they smelt something on her, but i didn’t do anything. all i could do was stand there and panic.”

“you couldn’t do anything. any movements we made would’ve made everyone suspicious.” you state.

“couldn’t even protect my own daughter and-” he shakes, you can see the tears in his eyes and he’s not even looking at you. “i failed her, and ‘m gonna fail you both now.”

you stand up immediately, walking over to his chair until you’re stood between his legs. your hands find their place on either side of his face, thumbs stroking his cheeks and brushing away his tears, forcing him to look up at you. you hesitate, but your thumb gently traces the scar on his temple, and you hear him take a sharp breath in at the simple, yet doting touch of the place that marks the darkest time of his life after the death of his daughter.

“you’ve never failed us. not at the beginning, and definitely not now. you’ve done so much to protect us, tex. taking on a fourteen year old girl is a lot, but taking on me, too? well, i have to applaud you for that.” he laughs. “but don’t think i don’t admire you for what you’ve done. hell, most men out there would’ve ditched us when they had the chance but you? you stuck by, guided us, saved us, loved ellie like a daughter. a…and, you’ve made me feel at home.” a soft smile graced your lips. “everything you’ve done for us, been for us? that’s home.”

because i’ve seen you

and i know you

and i’m not going anywhere

“i’ve got you.” you say, grabbing his hand, rubbing your hand over the watch. “you didn’t fail sarah, you’ve never failed ellie and you could never fail me.”

“but-”

“no buts. you will never know how proud i am of you and everything you’ve done for us. to open up like this…” you sigh “i just…i’m glad you did.”

he removes his hand from yours, wrapping them both around your waist and pulling you into him. his head rests on your stomach, and your hands find their way into his hair. “home.” he mumbles, and you feel the smile on your chest.

i bet your back can carry more than

just the weight of your button down

one by one they come undone

when we get home

you stand by as you watch joel enter the house. three days, three damn days without him by your side because he was on patrol. you couldn’t blame him, it’s his part in making the community of jackson safe. besides, you knew he’d lose his mind if he had to sit around all day and lack any form of agency. he’d been in this world for too damn long to not find a piece of his mind in protecting others, especially you and ellie.

joel walks over to you, embracing you in a tight hug as he places a small kiss on your forehead. it’s followed by one on your lips, to which he smiles slightly, tipping his forehead so it meets yours. “missed ‘ya so much, darlin’.” his texan drawl makes you laugh.

“missed you too, baby.” you place both hands on either side of joel’s face, pulling back slightly to admire all that is him. his scars, his soul, his heart, everything. “ellie’s missed you too. been waiting on your arrival the entire day.”

joel chuckles, kissing you on the forehead. “i’ll go give her this, then.” he pulls out a book from under his arm, something you completely missed when he entered your house. he holds it up to you, and you read the name. a soft smile graces your lips, and you feel yourself wanting to tear up.

“she’ll love it.” you whisper.

it’s a couple hours later, the three of you having just eaten dinner, and joel and ellie are sat on the couch together. the tv is turned on, but joel is nowhere near paying attention, all of it is on ellie. she reads out the jokes in the joke book he gifted her, he complained about the bad ones, laughed at the good ones, and even shared some of his own.

you find yourself admiring them both, smiling wildly as you watch their dynamic. you knew you had the best relationship with ellie, but nothing could compare to how joel was with her. like a father, he cared and loved her without overstepping ellie’s boundaries.

and that? that’s all you could ever ask for in a man.

i’ve seen you carry family

and all my insecurities

one by one they’ll come undone

when we get home

you stand before joel, blood splattered on your clothes and covered in bruises in visible places. you hated to know how you looked underneath. you sat perched upon the counter in the bathroom as joel runs a cloth under the running tap, dabbing it on your face to remove the dried blood.

it was a patrol gone wrong. you thought you could handle it by yourself, you had done in the past. but when your patrol partner had lured you into a raiders den, it had all gone south from there. they got a fair few hits and wounds onto you before you remembered who you were, and you showed them no mercy.

brown, puppy dog eyes stare down at you, it’s almost comical. a hardened man with the softest expression on his face, all because you were bruised and injured. he sighs, placing the cloth on the side. “need you to take your clothes off, sweetheart. see if there’s any more damage.”

your eyes immediately snap up to meet his, panic arising in your body so much so he saw it in your face. “hey, ‘s okay.” his hand gently cups underneath your jaw, keeping your eyes on his. “ain’t gonna do anything, baby. just need to clean you u-”

“no.” you shake your head feverishly, cutting him off. “no.”

“got to make sure you ain’t hurt anywhere else.” he stares at you, and he looks so concerned and worried that you cave. pulling off your jumper and shirt, stood in your bra and sweatpants, completely exposed.

joel’s eyes trace your body, and you feels his eyes catch the wounds, but the scars that cut across your skin in a variety of places. he stiffens up, hand hesitantly reaching out to gently trace one, much like you had done with his.

he looks up at you when he’s done, stepping closer with his hand on your hip, where the scar his finger had just traced lingered. he tips his forehead to meet yours, both of your eyes closing. “i gotcha, sweet girl. always do.”

he pulls back and grabs the cloth from the sink, running it under water again before he starts to clean the cuts on your body. he traces every scar on your skin, each time making you shudder from the sheer amount of love he dedicates towards you, ensuring your comfort and trust, much like you had done with him.

he’s got you. he always has, always will.

because i’ve seen you

and i know you

and i’m not going anywhere

falling on top of you, joel’s hands travel underneath the hem of your dress, pulling down your panties. you sit up, pulling the white dress over your head, now completely naked and bare in front of the man you love.

joel tips your head up so you look at him, admiring your body as you sit naked and bare. he starts to take off his own clothes, pulling you close to him so he hovers of you. he kisses you lips passionately, your arms winding round his neck as you pull him in closer.

he chuckles as you moan when he bites your lip, pulling away to kiss down your neck, your chest, all the way down until he looks up at you, asking for permission.

you nod, and let him ravish you.

because i’ve seen you

and i know you

and i’m not going anywhere

because i’ve seen you

and i know you

and i’m not going anywhere

because i’ve seen you

and i know you

and i’m not going anywhere.

a/n: fun fact, this was gonna end in tlou2 with joel and reader being murdered together but i said no <3

taglist: (if you want to be added, pls message me!!)

@theeblackmedusa @joeldjarin

[nikoniclove]

1 MILLION WORD CELEBRATION

[kissesforsatoru]

can I request separate hcs for Bonten!Mikey, Sanzu, Rindou, Ran, and Sanzu x Farmer!Reader? like there's this one time where the boys asked the reader for a date but their own secretaries are making fun of the reader bcs yk she's from a farm and she doesn't wear any fancy clothes that the city girls have 👀

BONTEN! MIKEY, SANZU, RINDOU, RAN x GN!READER

₊˚⌗ bonten boys reaction to their darling being insulted

⤷ cw : general yandere themes, violence, threats, descriptions of injury, death, murder, slight nsfw for rindous part

notes : you put sanzu twice and i haven’t a clue who you could’ve meant instead so i just did the four you asked for

mikey is pissed. who the hell do these people think they are to be talking badly about you when they're just dumb fucking entitled sluts. their only personality trait is being a good fuck, unlike you who's kind and hard working. he needs to put them in their place, so he fucks with them a bit. but if they dare to ever say anything bad about you again, they're dead.

“i heard mikey asked out that farm person that was here the other day”

“really? them?”

“i know! their clothes look so rugged, i bet they’ll show up in overalls and a flannel or something like that. don’t they realize that they can’t wear stuff like that on dates?”

“mr. sano is way out of their league, i don’t know what he sees in them if i’m being honest.”

“right. he should be going after people with more class than that farm freak.”

mikey, sighs and sets down his glass with a force that causes the strippers sat around the booth to jump and look in his direction. he ignores them, instead standing up from his seat with a pissed off look on his face.

“sanzu.” he calls to his second as he walks towards the back exist of the club they’re currently occupying. sanzu smirks, knowing exactly what his boss wants without him having to say another word.

he’s quick to lure the girls outside where his boss waits, a cigarette between his lips that’s already been half smoked. the girls giggle as they look between sanzu and mikey, which just makes sanzu’s smirk grow wider with a thrill of excitement and anticipation. what dumb bitches, he thinks as he gestures to mikey.

mikey takes another drag of his cigarette before he wordlessly takes it from between his lips and grabs one of the girls—the one who called his bosses play thing a freak, sanzu remembers. she giggles again, giving her friend a look as she nuzzles up to mikey with an arch of her back that makes the man holding her quirk his lip in disgust.

“i’m fucking tired of sluts like you acting like you’re better than everyone because your loose pussy gets you a little bit of money.” he says lowly, threateningly, and finally, the girl stops giggling.

“what?” she says, body going rigid.

“your only value in this world is to be used and fucked, then get passed onto the next guy that wants some quick, cheap pleasure.” mikey continues. the girl begins to struggle in his hold, but mikeys grip only tightens.

the other girl tries to back away as she witnesses the situation unfold between her friend and mikey, but sanzu is quick to grab her and keep her in place with a knife to her throat.

“so what gives you the fucking right to talk shit about people with real value, hm?” he questions, flicking the ash off of his cigarette before taking another drag and blowing the smoke in the girls face. she coughs, struggling to breath as the smoke clouds her lungs.

“you’re not shit, unlike y/n. you need to be put in your fucking place, you dirty bitch.”

the girl screams as mikey puts his cigarette out on her arm, flicking the bud to the ground before doing the same to her.

“don’t ever fucking talk shit about them again or i'll kill you.”

sanzu coudn't have been scarier the moment he hears an insult to his darling leave someone's lips. he's crazy, so he's not going to just rough 'em up a bit, he'll straight up kill them without hesitation. anyone whos speaks bad things under his darlings name is a waste of space in his eyes.

"what the fuck did you just say?" he asks, chin tilted up as he gazes down at the woman who just said something bad about you--a display of superiority that has the girl shivering under his towering form.

her lip quivers as she tries to muster up the courage to say something, but all that can escape is a nervous laugh. sanzu sneers, lip curing in distaste as he pulls out his gun and pushes it against her forehead. he unlocks the safety and pushes teasingly on the trigger.

"w-wait! i'm sorry! sanzu, i-i didn't mean it!" she starts to scream, her heart thumping so loudly against her chest that sanzu can practically hear it. he smirks, pushing it further into her head which only coaxes more ugly sobs and screams from her vile mouth.

"did you not fucking hear me? are you deaf or somehting?" i asked you what you just fucking said." he repeats himself, laughing bitterly and coldly as the look on her face contorts more and more into a look of pure terror. good. she should be fucking sorry that she ever uttered your precious name.

"i-i said, y/n’s clothes look like they were t-taken from the dumpster. i d-don't understand why y-you asked them out." she stutters pathetically as she repeats the disgusting words she said about you just a second ago.

"that's what i thought i heard you say. i was hoping for your sake that i was wrong." he says coldly, any ounce of amusement on his face disappearing.

“w-what?” she askes, voice wobbly and hoarse from all the screaming she just did. she gulps and gives him a hopeful look when he lowers the gun. but instead of putting it away, he hits her haid with the gun, causing her to fall to the floor. she doesn’t get a chance to do anything other than scream and cry before sanzu speaks again.

"filth like you should learn to keep their mouths shut." he says, aiming his gun down at her before shooting.

rindou would insult the hell out of whoever insulted you, and he won't hold back either. anyone that isn't you is already trash to him, but anyone that insults you? they're the filthy dirt on his shoes as far as he's concerned. and if they have the gal to insult you again, he won't hesitate to cut off their tongue so they can never say anything bad about you again.

"rin rin, do you have to go out with that person from the other day?" the girl on his lap asks in a high pitched, whiney voice that gives him a headache. he hums, tilting his head in question as he tries to recall the person she's talking about. she pouts, bouncing in his lap when he doesn't remember.

"the one that looks like their clothes were washed with mud because of how old and dirty they were." she describes, and rindous body goes stiff with realization--she's talking about you.

"yeah, i do." he says curtly, turning his head to take a sip of his drink. the girl pouts some more, but this time she leans into him and drags her hand down his chest, her breasts pushing up against him to make them look bigger. she giggles after seeing the amused look he gives her.

"but why would you want to go out with an ugly person like them when you could stay and have fun with me." she whispers, trying to sound seductive, but rindou was pissed rather than turned on.

he pushes her off of him, uncaring of the fact that she fell on the floor and spilt her own drink all over herself.

"hey, what the fuck?!" she yells at him, but he ignores her and just takes another sip of his drink.

"and why the fuck would i want a desperate bitch like you, hm?" he asks, setting his glass down on his thigh as he leans forward and glares down at her. she doesn't say anything, but the look of disbelief on her faces makes rindou want to laugh.

"y/n is far better than some whore that doesn't even know how to turn a guy on properly." he says motioning to his flacid dick.

"honestly, how useless can you be? i paid a lot of money expecting a good fuck, and this is what i get? some try-hard bitch that's entitled and thinks she can replace my y/n" he scoffs, a feigned huff of a laugh leaving his lips as he shakes his head.

"you'll never be anything compared to what y/n is to me. you're just some whore i'm using for pleasure, but y/n is my everything." he says sternly.

"if you ever say some shit like that to me again i'll cut you're fucking tongue off." dumping his leftover drink on her, he stands up and leaves.

ran is similar to mikey in the way that he'd definitely fuck them up. he's not going to let anyone talk shit about you and get away with it. but the difference between him and mikey though, is he's a bit sadistic and enjoys fucking up anyone that talks shit about his darling.

"who did that person think they were coming into the club with dirty, old clothes? and they talked to ran so causally! he should've kicked them out right away for embarrassing him like that."

"excuse me?" the woman jumped at hearing someone behind her. she quickly turned around and sighed in relief seeing ran with an amused smile on his lips.

"oh my, i didn't notice you behind me." she giggled. "i was just saying you should've had that person thrown out from the other day. it was embarrassing how they came in here looking like they just got dragged through the mud. they didn't contaminate you or anything when they touched you, right?" she joked and ran laughed along with her, forced and strained.

"of course, they didn't." he says once she comes down from her fit of laughter, and his faces falls.

"why would they? they're perfect. unlike you who was born trash." he says, and the womans face scrunches up in confusion. ran grabs her arm with a smile before dragging her upstairs to his own private section of the club, all the while she's yelling protests that go ignored.

he throws her to the ground and looks down at her with a displeased look on his face. when she tries to stand up, he presses his foot against her body and pushes her back down to the floor.

"you said it yourself, right? filth doesn't have the privilege of standing and talking so casually to me." he says as one of the bouncers enters the room and hands him a baton. the woman begins to scream as ran looks down at her with mock sympathy before whacking her side.

"shut up. you should've kept your fucking mouth shut if you didn't want this to happen." he says just as the woman starts to cry.

[lets-try-some-writing]

Let's do some au mixing.. Hmm.. What kind of opinion do you think the big five (or four and a half sorry Pluto) would have on your Pretenders? Would they provide any aid?

Would Earth try protecting Jack, Miko and Raf? If Megatron used dark energon would Cron provide his aid? I bet he would try do some dramatic ominous talking(he's still the Unmaker he has reputation to upkeep) while trying to ignore his roommates

Unicron: S̸p̴a̷w̴n̴ ̶o̴f̶ ̷P̵r̵i̷m̸u̵s̸ ̸w̸h̵y̷ ̴h̶a̶v̴e̷ ̷y̴o̴u̷ ̴d̷e̶c̴i̶d̸e̴d̶ ̷t̸o̷ ̴c̵u̵r̵s̴e̷ ̴y̵o̴u̴r̵ ̷s̶p̴a̴r̶k̶ ̸w̷i̷t̴h̶ ̸m̵y̶ ̶d̸a̸r̴k̵b̵l̸o̷o̶d̶?̸

Earth: *whispering* Is that really necessary?

Unicron: Shh let me have this

[Pluto hated that]

Anyway, yeeeees au mixing. I love au mixing. 99% of my daydreams are au mixes. That said, I am personally of the belief that in regards to the Pretenders, Earth would be losing her mind over them. They are capable of spreading and potentially infecting her humans, and that cannot stand. She would throw a fit over their presence, which would in turn set Moon and Unicron on high alert. Those are HER children and those THINGS that mimic her cousins need to burn in the pits of Kaon.

Unicron probably wouldn't be all that torn up over them. If anything, I think he would actually like the Pretenders because of their nature and tendency to slowly overtake whatever they are trying to claim. Of course he would shut up about his opinions regarding them around Moon and Earth. However, I think he would quietly aid them every now and then. Nothing too serious, just an extra boost here and there to help them kill the children of Primus. He champions Ratchet and Optimus a great deal. He thinks its fragging hilarious that a monster was made a Prime and a Doctor turned into a vicious murderer.

Moon is of similar mind to Earth, but largely because he and all other Cybrtronians are threatened by the Pretenders. If they can claim small hosts, who is to say they can't infect Titans? He's terrified of them and would constantly check his frame for potential infection. He would take great care to keep his EM field silent except for when absolutely required in order to fly under the radar. Mars would agree with him and hide his rovers and any sign that he lives. None of the nearby Titans want to touch the Pretenders with a ten foot pole.

Pluto though? He would want to hunt them all down. He would see Earth, Moon, and Mars's fears and would take it PERSONALLY. Especially since Unicron likes the Pretenders, Pluto would start trying to quietly fly closer to attempt a targeted strike (if he can convince Moon and Mars to let him)

[applebuttercringe]

Episode 5 immediate thoughts

Spoilers ahead!

-Oh hey it's the big guy who used to be on Caitlyns strike team.

-Get em Vi

-Jinx is betting on Vi's fights

-Average lesbian breakup experience

-Did she dye her hair black? Or did she just cry enough eyeliner onto herself that it turned it black?

-THE SISTER REUNION

-Vi is reminded by the shimmer tear that Jinx isn't fully in control of herself.

-Proud of Jinx though for being able to be in Vi presence without a breakdown

-Last time they saw each other Vi was fully ready to kill Jinx. Most brutal fight in the series. Now they can work together? Thats kinda rushed.

-Caitlyn using her detective skills again!

-"Peacekeeping operations" Yeah right Caitlyn.

-Caitlyn is full on racist

-Full on fascist

-The Caitlyn stans are gonna be fighting for their LIVES trying to defend her.

-This is the first time we've seen Mel not collected, or at least put together and considerate.

-ELORA!!!

-Mels brother?

-Mels brother!

-Well Vi got over basically all the Jinx stuff pretty quick.

-I mean this is basically what both of them really wanted, to be a family again, and it was achieved with very little ceremony.

-Did Jinx find out the mushroom aren't toxic by eating them? Does she eat every new thing she finds just to check?

-If Vi thinks this is Jinx lying why would she follow her?

-"BITCHMITTENS"

-Typical sibling behavior

-Vi is a child hitter confirmed. Considering Jinx's lingering trauma from Vi's reaction to the explosion in S1 Ep3, I'de think she would have a worse reaction to Vi hitting Isha.

-Whaarwhick is more savage than any beast in Noxus? Knowing Noxus from league I find that hard to believe.

-Wait, did Silco kill Vi and Jinx's parents? Is that why they split? I need to rewatch this frame by frame.

-Singed holding his daughter

-Singed real name is Dr. Reveck

-If Mel and Kino are surprised Ambessa has a love child, were they her hatechilds?

-Mel herself is a magical maguffin for the cult running a foreign nation. I thought she was just a super cool girlboss.

-Jinx is a jacket sniffer.

-Was Vander in love with their mom? I thought he was their adopted dad, has he been their bio dad the whole time?

-Vi defending Jinx 🥺

-Is that Singed daughter on the record Felicity is playing.

-Oh no young Silco is hot

-Felicity sounds like Jinx when she says "working up the nerve"

-That one tweet was right, Arcane music is horrifically literal.

-I don't care if it's rushed. This scene is straight out of a feel good fix it fic and I love it. Happiness and family for the Zaun sisters!

-Is this Salo after being healed by Viktor?

-Knew it

-Jayce, where ya been buddy?

-Viktor broke Jayce out so he could come see him. I mean it is probably not Viktor, it's the hexcore taking people over, but still.

-And once again the dynamic is reversed

-Just leaving Ekko and Heimerdinger in their huh?

-JAYCE STRAIGHT UP MURDERED HIM! HOLY SHIT! WHAT!?

-I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST GONNA BONK HIM TO KNOCK HIM OUT!

-WTF HAPPENED TO HIM!

Overall: Ok, so this felt rushed. The last 4 acts have been tearing these sisters apart, entirely centering on the traumas and outside forces that keep them from being a family. Then Jinx shows up and it takes one sentence to get Vi back, granted Vander being alive is big news, but Vi thinks Jinx is lying to her. Why wouldn't she be mad at Jinx?

Jayce straight up murderred a guy, I wish we got to see more of how he got to this point.

Caitlyn is still as much of a dictator as she has been all, but she does get consistently worse.

Mel is in a totally different story now.

Things are only looking up for Jinx and Vi.

Even with it being rushed I do like Jinx and Vis story here, I want happiness for them , sue me. But I don't see how they could possibly meaningfully redeem all the other characters in the 4 episodes left. Which means I think Arcane season 2 might not be peak anymore, entertaining? Yes. Interesting? Yes. Exciting? Yes. Peak? Maybe not. I still love it, but the cracks are showing.

[panphilosopher]

How Wednesday flirts: My love for you has no beginning and no end. It is cyclical, like life itself. It is ever-flowing, like the oceans. It is as boundless as the sky and as vast as the universe. When I see your face, I see my past, my present, my future. When I hold your hand, I feel everything inside of me expand. You are my everything. 

Enid, blushing madly: Oh. Em. GEE! W-Wends! You can't- You can't just say stuff like that!

How Yoko flirts: gal your ass so fine, I bet it looks even better on my face.

Divina, blushing madly: You really know how to get into a girl's heart.

Enid and Wednesday looking from a distance.

Enid: Why you never flirt to me like that, Wends?

Wednesday, already thinking about how she's going murder Yoko: I do not know.

[doe-eyed-fool]

Prey | Chapter Thirteen

Alastor x Fem!Reader

Warning(s): Harassment, Murder, Death, Gore, Blood

You didn't know how long you were staring into your vanity mirror for. Checking your face, your hair, making sure there was nothing out of place. But after a moment, you just...stared "Mimzy? You ever hear things that aren't really there?"

The shorter woman gave you a look after hearing that question. "Honey. That's something people say before they're sent to the nut house, you know?" She laughs weakly.

You sigh before finally looking away from the mirror. "Feels like I should be in there after what I heard earlier. Or thought I heard?"

Mimzy only shakes her head. "Y/n, hon. Alastor's ol place can be a little creepy at night, but you're safe there. Nothing's gonna happen to you. Alastor will make sure of that."

"But Alastor wasn't there. What if something did happen?" You ask. "I know he would have kept me safe if he were there. But it was just me. And that darn driver of yours was taking forever to actually get there, so that didn't help." 

"Yeah, sorry about him. He's not too bright, that one. I promise I'll get a more capable guy to come get you next time." Mimzy walks over to you. "Now pretty lady, it's time to dazzle the crowd once again!"

Your nerves had been eating at you since you left Alastor's home, a part of you wanted to cancel on tonight. But, you were already here. And there was a full house just waiting to see you perform. You inhaled deeply, and put on a false smile before rising from your vanity. 

"Let's knock 'em dead!"

And knock them dead you did. Another amazing performance, another rousing round of applause from the audience. As you were backstage, removing the makeup and getting changed back into your more casual dress, there was a knock at the door. 

You assumed it was Mimzy at first, but Mimzy almost never knocks before coming into your dressing room. You quickly smooth out your dress before approaching the door. You then thought it was Alastor, though, he'd still be working about this time. 

You opened the door and was met with Joe, smiling with a small bouquet of flowers. "J-Joe?" Your force your shock aside with a more cheery tone. "What brings you by?" 

"Well, how could I not come and see one of my favorite show girls? You sing so sweetly, and boy do you look ever so dazzling up on that stage." Joe says before handing you the bouquet. "For for, darlin'." 

You take them and give him a small smile. "Thank you, Joe. But I have to ask, how did you get back here? No one's allowed backstage unless you preform or-"

"Pay to see you?" Joe smirks. 

"I-I was going to say or work here. But yes, I suppose that too." You chuckle weakly before clearing your throat. "But uh, you know, you didn't have to do that. I do visit Alastor sometimes at work, you could see me then." 

"Yes, I know. But you spend most of your time with him when you're there. I'd like to have a conversation with you every now then." Joe winks. "But I guess who could blame you? He's your sweetheart after all." He mutters.

"We're engaged." You say a bit firmly. Everyone knew it. But it seems Joe needed it drilled into his thick skull. 

"Mhm." Joe hums. "But not married. Not yet anyhow." He leans in a little closer to you as he speaks. "I say you're still a free woman. Why not take advantage of that while you still have it?" 

You take a step back. "Joe. I am taken, married or not. Alastor is my-"

Your words were cut short by Joe's heavy sigh. "You're wasting yourself on that man. He couldn't give you what you really wanted. But I..." Joe stepped further into the room. "I could give you everything you wanted, and then some." His eyes look you up in down, sending a chill down your spine. 

"I bet he hasn't even properly bed you."

"Joe, that's enough." You tell him. "I think it's time you leave." 

"Y/n, don't be like that." Joe took another step towards you. Your blower back hit the edge of the vanity. "I mean it. Get out!" You rather loudly, hoping someone near by would here. 

"Y/n-"

"Is there a problem here?"

You and Joe both look to the room's entrance, in the doorway stood Mimzy. And behind her were two tall and bulky men, both glaring Joe down. Mimzy, also glaring at Joe, crossed her arms. "Well?" She asks sharply. 

Joe rolled his eyes and walked away from you. "Not at all ma'am." He stepped aside the two men. "Have a good night." He said before finally leaving. 

Mimzy take her eyes off him until he was out of sight, she then looked up at the two men. "Make sure he actually leaves the building. And do not let him back in here." The two men nods wordlessly before leaving you both. 

Mimzy walked inside the dressing room and shut the door behind her. "Y/n. Are you alright?" She asks gently. "Who was that guy?" You sighed heavily. "Joey Martins. He works in the same building as Alastor. And as you can tell, he has taken a liking to me." 

"A liking is putting it lightly. He's got the hots for you." Mimzy says with a frown. "If you want, I'll make sure that creep doesn't step foot in this lounge ever again." You nod your head. "I feel like that would be best. If Alastor catches wind of this, who knows what he might do."

"Oh I have an idea." Mimzy chuckles. "I would talk to him about this, but, I won't say anything if you don't want me to." 

"Y-Yes, I think I should be the one who lets him know. I might be able to talk him down from whatever he might try and do. Lord knows, Alastor can't risk loosing his job over beating the living daylights out of some fool, who's not even worth the effort."

"Is Al gonna take you home?" Asked Mimzy. You shook your head. "Says he'll be working late again." 

"Then I'll have one of my guys drive you home. One with some sense, I promise." She playfully bumps your arm. 

You smile lightly. "Thank you, Mimzy." 

Once you got home, you made sure to keep your eyes strictly ahead of you, ignoring the sight of the cellar before rushing inside the house. You sighed and shook your head. "I'm working myself up over nothing. Absolutely nothing." You inhaled and exhaled before heading upstairs to get ready for bed.

You took a shower, and slipped into your nightgown before walking to yours and Alastor's shared bed. You sat down and took a book from the nightstand, opening to the page where you last left off. After about twenty of minutes of reading, you started to feel a chill at your arms. You shivered before pulling the covers up over your legs, and continued reading.

You brought the cover up your body further, the colder the room became. At one point, you suspect the heater might be broken. You set the book aside and stand from the bed, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep warm. 

The light from the moon peaking from the drawn window curtains caught your eye, you turn your head towards it before walking over. You move the curtains aside, and down below, you could get a clear view of the shed Alastor used for hunting. 

It shouldn't have bothered you in the slightest. Even though you hated that he used that shed to aid in hunting woodland creatures, he always made sure you never saw it happen or knew about just what he hunted. But from the amount of antlers he had mounted on the walls of his home, you knew deer were his favorite. 

Yes, Alastor always made sure you never knew what went down in that shed, and in some way, it worked. You didn't pay much attention to it all. The shed itself did not bother you.

What did bother you, was that the door was open, and a moving shadow from within the light the shed gave off. 

'Alastor's home.' Was the first thing you would have thought. But you knew better. His car was not parked outside, he was not home. So, who was inside of that shed? You quietly backed away from the window, heart beginning to pick up in your chest. 

Nothing looked missing when you first walked inside. If it were a robber, they might have snuck in while you were in the shower. The nearest phone was downstairs in the living room. But going down there meant risking getting caught, and god forbid there were more than one waiting.

But if they made there way upstairs, and found you, you'd be caught anyway. So. It was either wait for death or go chase after it. If there was even the slightest of chances you could make it downstairs without getting caught, and notifying the authorities, you would take it. 

You walked to the bedroom door, and slowly opened the door to keep it from creaking, before tip-toeing down the hall and to the top of the stairs. You pause for a moment, listening for any voices or footsteps. When silence was all that lingered, you continued making your way down as carefully and as quietly as possible. 

Once you reached the bottom, you paused again. And again, it was quiet. You move to walk again, and that's when you heard it. 

'Y/n...'

Your hand shot to your mouth to keep the gasp from escaping.

'Y/n...Y/n...'

Was...Was that...

'Y/n!'

"Alastor?" You whisper. Another chill brushed against your skin, it's intensity turning into a light breeze. You look up and finally notice that the front door, was cracked opened. And just at the foot of the door, was a trail of blood, leading outside. 

Immediately assuming the worst, you rushed outside and looked from right to left, hoping to catch a glimpse of Alastor somewhere. Your eyes fell back to the blood, you followed it down the stairs and until it wrapped around to the side of the house, leading right towards the cellar.

It's doors were wide open.

You stopped, and stared at that cellar for a moment. Then you heard it again, louder this time.

'Y/n!'

Every step towards that cellar made your heart sink lower and lower into the pit of your gut, a new wave a dread washing over you with ever inch you grew closer. Then you finally reached the entrance of that damn cellar, it's darkness, the eerie silence that came with it, the blood that lead further down...

It made you want to wretch. 

"A-Alastor..." You said, barely above a whisper. 'Please hear me...' You thought as tears fell from your eyes. 'If you're down there...please, please answer me.'

"Alastor?" This time a bit louder, but not much. If that was Alastor's blood, if he was hurt...dying even...

What you be able to do? You acted without even thinking, assuming that it was indeed Alastor's blood, that it was indeed him calling your name. What would you do? You knew you should have stayed inside, you should have just called the cops, you shouldn't have come out here knowing there might be someone out here. The very same someone, who could have hurt Alastor. The very same someone, who could hurt you too.

Why did you do this? 

You began to descend the stairs of the cellar. 

Why are you doing this?

You move your trembling hands out in front of you, acting as your eyes in the dark. Eventually they brushed up against something solid. It felt wooden. Your hand moved around until it reached a knob. You grasp it and turn it, stepping back as the door opened. 

"Alastor?" You tried again. "Al-"

Your words cut short, as a wave of putrid odor filled your nostrils, causing them to burn, and a gagging sensation form in the back of your throat. There was no mistaking that kind of smell, that stench.

It was the scent of death. 

"A-Alastor..." Your voice trembled. Had your fears been true? Did something happen to Alastor? You took a step forward, hands still outstretched. 

Did whoever was out there, had they...killed your beloved fiancé? Was what you heard his dying calls of your name?

The stench grew stronger the further you walked in. Suddenly your hand brushed up against a string hanging from above. Your finger and thumb caught it, but you did not pull down. You did not want to see what you feared you might.

You stood there in the darkness, the smell of rot and decay lingering in your nose, stinging at your throat. You shut your eyes tightly and pulled down at the string, a clicking sound followed after. 

You move your hand away. And for a moment, you truly believed you were alone in whatever room you stumbled across. But the smell was quick to prove you wrong. You slowly open your eyes again, fully expecting to see the corpse of Alastor at your feet.

However, what you saw, made your mind scream and your heart stop all the same. 

It was something right out of a horror story. Hooks and chains hung from the walls and the ceiling. Blood covered the walls, giving it a brown and black stain, though some was fresh. There were a few tables littered with a variety of knives. And worst of all...

The corpse of a man, his front cut open from sternum to pelvis, displayed just feet from you. 

A nightmare. This had to be a nightmare. This wasn't real, it couldn't be. How could something so horrible, so disgusting, so grotesque, be happening right in front of you. It couldn't be. 

But it was. 

"Y/n."

You turn your head, wide eyes met the one person you'd hope to not see. Who you'd hope was not responsible for...this. Who you'd hope was not so cruel and wicked enough to do something so inhumane. 

Because he was not the type of person who would do this. You knew him, you knew him your entire life. He would not do this. 

Alastor would not do something like this...

"You weren't suppose to ever see this, dear."

And yet, he did.

Tags-

@martinys-world

@sirens-and-moonflowers

@catticora

[multifandommilfs]

Days and Weeks

Pairing: Olivia Benson x reader

Wc: 1040

Y/n is a teacher/prof, Janice is your colleague. S13 E5 spoilers. Fluff

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"So both of them confessed to the murder! Almost simultaneously even. I mean what were they thinking? Because if we hadn't dug up their baby's body, we could've charged them BOTH with murder by all means." She paced around your frame as you did your skincare by the sink. Her hands were gesticulating all over the place as she ranted about a recently closed case.

 

"But there's no evidence of trauma in the M.E.'s, wouldn't the case be baseless then?" You indulged yourself in one of her rare rambles, careful not to get all the soap past your lips as you washed the product off. It was understandable that with so much secret-keeping from the media, she had to get it out of the system one way or another. You'd rather hear it out than let anyone else take up that part.

 

With a direct view of her reflection behind you in the mirror, you saw as a frown creased its way between her brows. "It's not just baseless, it's a complete lost cause! Any first-year lawyer could've gotten them off without so much as an objection! And can you imagine what she wanted to charge them with?!" She appeared with hands akimbo beside you when she heard your brushing, knowing you couldn't speak.

 

Mint filling up the crevices of your mouth now, you cocked your chin up in reply to her rhetoric. "Manslaughter in the goddamn second degree." She deadpanned and a surprised noise came up from the back of your throat as you whipped to her, expressing, 'Are you serious?'

 

She widened her eyes for a split second which conveyed, 'Yeah, that was what I thought too.'

 

"Verdict?" You asked after finishing up, moving from the bathroom to bedroom. Olivia followed behind.

 

"A.D.A. wishes she got one, turns out the baby died of SIDS—sudden infant death syndrome. M.E. said it's not uncommon."

 

"What? And you just released them?" You made a split-second decision to not strip due to the chilly autumn night, getting under the covers as Olivia flicked off the lights.

 

"We had to, there weren't any charges to go on. Even though I wish there was a 'sending officers on a wild goose chase' charge."

 

You sputtered with laughter. "Yeah? I bet that'll be just as memorable. But you gotta give it to 'em, you don't see that kind of dedication nowadays." You adjusted yourself to maximum comfort, sleep already invading your senses after the long day.

 

She hummed, slipping under the covers. "Grief comes in many forms, but getting yourself into custody? And on Halloween? That's something I haven't seen before." She grumbled, draping half of her body atop of yours as you shuffled closer to her, a telltale sign that you wanted to hit the sack in about five minutes.

 

"We haven't talked about your week sweetheart." She lowered her voice so that it was just above a whisper, her breath fanning at your jaw, her hand enclosed around the far side of your waist.

 

"I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, Liv." Your words came out in a quiet murmur.

 

However when Thursday morning rolled around, it wasn't your alarm that awakened the both of you but the blaring rays of ultraviolet.

 

The peace scattered as you clambered out of bed. "I'll shower at work!" You said as you threw on an outfit, letting Olivia hog the shower. Her on-the-run job knew no bounds when it came to physical exertion while your job required minimal to none.

 

It seemed as if she took a one-second shower because she was hollering for you (or her clothes) the second you tossed two pieces of white bread into the toaster. And so you were rushing back into the bedroom, your ears victim to her colourful choice of words. “Something black!”

 

"Liv, that’s like your entire wardrobe.” You drawled loud enough for her to hear.

 

“Crew neck!”

"Long-sleeved or short?”

 

“It’s autumn Y/n!” Her words made you laugh as you unhung her shirt and picked out the rest.

 

You shoved her outfit into her arms by the entrance of the bathroom. “If it’s any redeeming I didn’t have a problem with the lingerie.” She spluttered, laughter pealing throughout the room. “I’ll redeem you when you tell me about your day!”

The toasts leapt with a satisfying ‘ching’ as Olivia hurried into the kitchen wafting with freshness. “The school surprised the students with a pop quiz the other day." You rushed out as you buttered the crispy golden-brown surface. “And?” She took the coffee from the machine and dunked it into a glass before heaving back a mouthful, stretching it out to you next with a straw in place which you took.

 

“Mh, so the thing is, I never knew things actually pop during pop quizzes. You shoved a piece of toast into her mouth and wolfed down what you could while dishes clanked into the sink.

 

“Janice popped half an hour into the test.”

 

“What?! Janice? I thought she was 6 months along!” Olivia spun to your busy frame, a hand over her mouth as she half choked in laughter.

 

 

“Time flies babe, she popped during the pop quiz.” Your look of cheekiness did nothing to quell her chortle even as she ran around the apartment gathering case files, her coat and yours while you scrubbed the dishes as fast as possible.

 

“So that was what you were holding back from me?”

 

“Hold back? Please, I could never." You slipped on your heels as she did hers, the both of you finally meeting at the front door. She did the watch strap on your wrist with practiced ease as you brushed her stray hair from all the morning chaos into place before snatching her in for a soft kiss.

 

“You better pray Cragen’s in a good mood, you’re thirty minutes late.”

 

“Says you, you’d be an hour late with all the traffic.”

You raised your hands in surrender as you filtered out the front door and soon, the apartment building. You were parted halfway to your respective cars before you heard her yell, “I’ll see you tonight!"

 

You blew her an air kiss in response, already knowing your Thursday night would be the highlight of the week.

[multipleheartbreakhotels]

I Sing You Joke

The Joking Starts When I Listen To The Music

February 25th 2006

Laughter. It's such a powerful thing especially when you make people laugh more particularly when you make your favourite band laugh. The first time I listened to them, was in 2004 on the radio covering some songs, I fell in love with them in an instant, the bass, the electric guitars, the drums, and the voice, especially the voice. Later in 2005, I heard them again, but this time with their songs. When I searched my local record shop, I had to dig very deeply since they were local artists. Once I found their single titled “I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor” I bought them immediately with a CD player. The moment I reached home, I listened to it non-stop, but there were unfortunately only 3 songs, until 2006. The beginning of the year with a new album by my favourite band is an excellent start the year, and to my delight, it was much longer than the other album of course, they also shared the same song which was one of my favourites at that moment, I brought the record home and listened to it religiously to the point where my roommate got sick quite literally when she got a fever I had to take care of her, so instead of listening to "Dancing Shoes" or "A Certain Romance" we listened to something my mother used to put when I and my brothers were sick, Mozart. I could only go to college while she was sick, I could not go to work or the pub, the millisecond she got well, I, well, we went to the pub. This was a very special night because not only was it for being back but also it was my 3-year anniversary for working in that pub, the time of my show starts at 11:05 it was 10:45 so shite luckily my roommate was also coming to my show, but she is equally late because we are both getting ready late

"MARYA WHERE IS MY BLUE DRESS?" Emilia yelled from her room

"IT'S IN MY ROOM ON THE BED" I yelled

back preparing my bag and ready to go, she came to my room

"Ok, but why is it here?" Emilia asked me

"Em?" I asked glaring at her, 

"Sorry," She replied,

she got dressed and we both ran to the pub, Lucky for us it was near and it was easy to run there for me since I was wearing Converse but Emilia was wearing high heels to feel fancy, how could you feel fancy in a local pub? I thought. I opened the door to the bar

"What the hell Marya it's already 11:10" the bartender Victor yelled

but before he could say another word I got to the stage removed my jacket and threw it not caring where

"Hello ladies and gentlemen apologies for my lateness, my best friend's lazy arse was weighing me down," I said into the microphone.

Laughs were coming from people who sounded like music to me, and after their laughs, they started to clap as a greeting for me

"Thank you Thank you" I said to the audience 

"So what shall I tell you today? Mhm Oh, tonight is a very special night, today is my anniversary and no it's not my romantic anniversary unless you think me being yelled at every time I come here late is romantic or sexual " I said

"Ooo Marya your so late it's already time to finish" I mimicked Victor and people started to laugh harder,

"Oi your such dirty-minded people ai......but anyways tonight is when I started to work in this bar the day I started to remove your innocents" I joked.

"It marks 3 years, imagine I was working here for one year, and I was still shocked that Victor has not killed me yet I am pretty sure the reason he is always behind that bar is that he is preparing to murder me, planning the day, and sharpening his knife, so if today is the last you will see of me let my last words be 'Thank you for letting all my friends plan a murder on me and not succeeding, and letting some random french bartender kill me instead' I see women are laughing more, I guess after seeing this you will know what tea to final spill to your ex-college-best friend-roommate" I said

taking the microphone from its holster and continuing speaking for 20 more minutes until I noticed a group of people standing next to the bar, there was a boy my age his back towards me with a leather jacket I wanted to get a better look at him when he finally turned to me, I stopped talking only for a second but it felt like hours, 10 minutes after I was done speaking

“Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and all the undecided I hope you pissed your pants and you will see me tomorrow night, I basically live her bye bye” I announced

and left the stage, took my thrown coat and bag, and placed them on a stool next to the bar. As Emilia was flirting with any living male soul, I sat at the bar talking to Victor, more precisely, the wall and drinking a bloody Mary,; it was my favourite drink.

"Excuse me, Sir?" One of the boys that I saw earlier from the stage,

"Could I get a-?" He said

not sure what drink to order, his friend that was sitting on the bar stool, the same boy with the leather jacket whispered something to his friend's ear

"A bloody mary, please? For the lady" He finally finished his sentence.

"I should be getting you drinks instead," I said with a smile,

"I get free drinks here so what would you like?" I added,

"How about their most expensive pint?" He asked with a heavy Northerner accent.

"Victor, the most expensive beer you have for this gentleman, please," I asked,

"You have 18 pounds, Marya?" He said,

"No, but I work here, so I give you customers, and you give me free alcohol" I marked.

"I give you money, not alcohol,"

"I give you customers, which means that come with free alcohol and money" I added.

"Fine, you work tomorrow also no holiday" He debated,

"Deal" I smiled,

and he placed the beer to the guy.

"Matt," He said

as he held out his hand,

"Marya, you don't need to know that though I already said my name on stage and it's on the board" I joked,

"And these your fellow shadows?" I asked,

the reason I called them shadows was because they were behind him and I could hardly see them from the light and choice of clothing.

"That's Jamie" He pointed to the blond guy dancing,

"I'm Nick," The brunette with green eyes said.

"Matt, I found a couple of lads come on" He said excitedly

"Will you excuse me?" He said as he finished his entire pint,

"You are excused," I said

and did a fancy bow, they laughed slightly and left, and then the guy next to me, who I assume was also Matt's friend showed me his hand in a gesture to shake it,

"Im Alex," He said in a hoarse or puberty voice with an equally heavy Northerner accent as the rest of his friends.

I shook his hand "Marya" I smiled,

his voice reminded me of something or more precisely someone, I could not put my finger on it though. We talked for hours about our favourite musicians bands, and books it was my favourite subject, and even baking. The night ended with them taking me back to my apartment, while Emilia went out with some lad from the pub.

"You don't have to it's unnecessary" I assured them after they asked if they could take me home,

they didn't exactly ask though they just said they would take me home,

"We are already walking out, and besides you live near us, it's okay" Alex reassured me with a smile,

it was a drunk smile, Matt was also happy to take me home slightly more drunk than Alex, while Jamie and Nick were flat-out drunk, we were all basically knackered.

"Wait, didn't you come to the bar with someone?" Matt asked slurring his words,

"She went with some random bloke, and they are gonna shag," I said,

"How are you sure they are gonna shag, detective?" Nick asked with a funny questioning look on his face,

"Well, her telling me Im gonna shag him tonight in a drunk whisper gave it away" I giggled.

When we reached my building

“I think that’s meh building,” I said slurring my words,

"Yup, it is" I added,

"Wait, wait, wait" Alex said quickly,

"Could you gimmie your number?" He asked while he was searching his phone in his pockets,

"Why not, if I can remember" I giggled,

while the rest laughed, he handed me his phone, and I gave his phone back after I typed my number.

"What does Bella, mean in Italian?" He asked,

"I am too drunk to know, but Bonita I am a pretty drunk bitch, well Bonita is only the pretty part" I giggled,

and he typed something in his phone.

"Well, we shall see each other in the next drunk street," I said in a fancy voice

"We shall" Alex answered in a tone equal to mine,

and he and his mates left. I got up to my apartment as best as possible trying to not let my neighbours think I was an alcoholic it was already bad that they called me a stripper just because I worked in a pub and I was a dance teacher, the moment I opened my apartment door and went to my room I fell asleep, knowing and not knowing how bad and good tomorrow will be.

Tags 💌: @ohladymoon @martinipoliz @i-m-a-leaf-on-the-wind @alexturntable @alexturne @drinkingbitterboy @arcticshadowturtles @cluedoenthusiast @dropofdrool @alovesreading @mywritingonlyfans @jetskisonyourmoat @bellaturner @almluv

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

My brain would not shut the fuck up for 2 seconds, so to satisfy it, have a compilation of out of context questions and shitty takes:

1. So I sold my soul to Alastor for jambalaya (would've done it for free frfr), what do i call you now? Sir? Boss? Daddy? AHEM, what do your souls even do? Will I just join the hotel? Cuz I'm fine with that.

2. Can Angel shoot webs out of his ass? (I don't know where the fuck this came from)

3. Husk, do you blink slowly at the people you trust and love? Cuz cats do that.

4. Charlie do you bleat like a goat?

5. Does Alastor taste like venison? Experience rut? Also, can you make different calls besides squeaks and bleats? Do your horns get stuck on shit? Ever broke Vox's screen with a 'love tap'? Also did you know there's a ship with you and your mom? That shit is vile

6. Do y'all know Lilith is just in heaven, drinking a slushie on the beach while y'all are out here suffering?

7. Luci what's your opinion on the other sins? (All of em)

8. Vox what your best 'Alastor got drunk and cuddly story?' Also did you ever convinced him to wear a dress? (I'm not talking about the bets, talking about you actually managing to convince him yourself, no strings attached, to wear a dress.) Is your dick a cable? Do you eat batteries? And are you aware of how creative your simps are? (ESPECIALLY ON PINTEREST ISTG PEOPLE ARE NOT WELL)

9. Vaggie, did you ever watch Encanto and notice that Mirabel sounds like you? Also, you're Spanish, right? (Yay, like me, matchy), what's your fave dish?

10. Val what was the fucking point of trying to drug Vox? Like? Even if it worked, Alastor would've fucked you up so hard your dick would come out of your mouth. Did you just think he'd be mad at Vox for getting fucking raped? Idiot.

11. Husk, did you ever perform in front of a crowd? Because if I'd have your voice, I'd never shut up.

12. Niffty, have you heard of Vox's employee, Baxter? He's like Sir. Pentios but a way better bad boy, about your height, and a mad scientist. Bet he could make experiments on your bugs and find new ways to kill em or sum.

13. Velvette, my fucking queen, on my knees for you, ugh, it's your voice or your personality, idk what, but I want it. Give it. I love u queen. What's your fave dress you ever made?

14. If Vox would be a princess, he'd be a greedy princess. I scouted the internet for anything, and after being reminded that El Dorado exists, I think the best I found is Chel. She's smart and greedy, and wants more gold. That's the best i found. Or just fuck it and you're Ariel but a shark. Now I have to draw that.

15. Angel did you discover you were gay back when you were alive or in hell? Also, how was it Italy? I plan on visiting and maybe going to a concert at it, cause the language sounds so fucking pretty and idk how to describe it, just beauty.

16. So, Alastor, is Niffty in a contract with you afterall, or did she just exist in your house one day and you just adopted her? Also, Charlie can now technically call you dad, cause your her mom's boyfriend, so maybe stepdad? Second dad?

17. Charlie girl, you did it! You fixed your mommy issues with your dad, your new mom, and your mom's boyfriend.

18. Hazbing hotel should be renamed issues hotel, cuz we got Daddy issues (Angel, Alastor, Husk I think?), Mommy issues (Charlie ((she kinda solved them)), Pentios maybe), parent issues (Husk ig, Vox, maybe velvette? Cuz if she was just 19 ((young kween, we stan u girl)), I imagine her parents sucked ((boo, tomato tomato))), uh, just straight up issues (Luci, Vaggie, I recon Val had a shitty life) and a shitton of trauma.

19. Alastor did you wear cattle shoes back when you were alive? Also, how is New Orleans? I think it looks really pretty and has a beautiful beautiful culture. Maybe if I have money, I'll visit! See where my fave serial killer murderer came from. Also, is French hard to learn? I'd like to give it a shot. Last thing: drop that lash care girllll, why do men have such pretty lashes? Scratch that, why are men like you so pretty?

20. Be gay, do crime, eat boys up, idk, peace ✌️

—a very sleep deprived bird anon

1. So I sold my soul to Alastor for jambalaya (would've done it for free frfr), what do i call you now? Sir? Boss? Daddy? AHEM, what do your souls even do? Will I just join the hotel? Cuz I'm fine with that.

"Boss will do just fine. And you can do as you please - I'm not like some, who require their souls to tirelessly work for them. I'll call on you if I have need."

2. Can Angel shoot webs out of his ass? (I don't know where the fuck this came from)

"Uh, no."

3. Husk, do you blink slowly at the people you trust and love? Cuz cats do that.

"Not that I'm aware of."

4. Charlie do you bleat like a goat?

"Um, no, I'm... not a goat."

5. Does Alastor taste like venison? Experience rut? Also, can you make different calls besides squeaks and bleats? Do your horns get stuck on shit? Ever broke Vox's screen with a 'love tap'? Also did you know there's a ship with you and your mom? That shit is vile

"I suppose my flavor profile might bear some similarities to venison, but I imagine I do taste rather different. I don't experience rut, I can make different sounds, and no, my horns do not get stuck - I can shrink them easily. I have broken Vox's screen while fighting and when he's attempted to wake me up, but I wouldn't qualify either as a 'love tap'. And I do wish you hadn't shared that."

6. Do y'all know Lilith is just in heaven, drinking a slushie on the beach while y'all are out here suffering?

"Yeah, you're not the first person to share that. But Charlie doesn't know, and I'm keeping it that way until I get more answers. It would crush her."

7. Luci what's your opinion on the other sins? (All of em)

"They're like family, and like most families, I get along with some more than others. Ozzie is definitely who I'm closest to, Bee's always fun, Lev's cool, Belphi's great, Satan and I butt heads sometimes, and Mammon... can admittedly get on my nerves."

8. Vox what your best 'Alastor got drunk and cuddly story?' Also did you ever convinced him to wear a dress? (I'm not talking about the bets, talking about you actually managing to convince him yourself, no strings attached, to wear a dress.) Is your dick a cable? Do you eat batteries? And are you aware of how creative your simps are? (ESPECIALLY ON PINTEREST ISTG PEOPLE ARE NOT WELL)

"I'm not telling you a whole story when you asked so fucking much. No, I haven't gotten him in a dress outside of the bet. Do you have any idea how much he hates deviating from his look? And no, my dick is not a cable, and I don't eat batteries. But yes, of course my simps are very creative. Right, Mel?"

9. Vaggie, did you ever watch Encanto and notice that Mirabel sounds like you? Also, you're Spanish, right? (Yay, like me, matchy), what's your fave dish?

"I haven't noticed that, and um... as I've mentioned before, I don't really have any memories before joining Adam's army. I used to think I was Heavenborn, but I get these flashes, and... I think I might be from Central America? I don't know. I do love tamales, I know that."

10. Val what was the fucking point of trying to drug Vox? Like? Even if it worked, Alastor would've fucked you up so hard your dick would come out of your mouth. Did you just think he'd be mad at Vox for getting fucking raped? Idiot.

"They weren't even together yet. Alastor wouldn't have even known anything happened, if you idiotas hadn't gotten involved. Voxxy just would have chosen to stay with me, and their little budding romance would have fizzled out as it should have."

11. Husk, did you ever perform in front of a crowd? Because if I'd have your voice, I'd never shut up.

"I mean, I used to be a stage magician, so... yeah."

12. Niffty, have you heard of Vox's employee, Baxter? He's like Sir. Pentios but a way better bad boy, about your height, and a mad scientist. Bet he could make experiments on your bugs and find new ways to kill em or sum.

"Ooooh, Vox, I want to meet Baxter!"

13. Velvette, my fucking queen, on my knees for you, ugh, it's your voice or your personality, idk what, but I want it. Give it. I love u queen. What's your fave dress you ever made?

"Everything I make is the best - how the fuck can I pick one favorite?"

14. If Vox would be a princess, he'd be a greedy princess. I scouted the internet for anything, and after being reminded that El Dorado exists, I think the best I found is Chel. She's smart and greedy, and wants more gold. That's the best i found. Or just fuck it and you're Ariel but a shark. Now I have to draw that.

"Haven't seen it, so I'll take your word for it."

15. Angel did you discover you were gay back when you were alive or in hell? Also, how was it Italy? I plan on visiting and maybe going to a concert at it, cause the language sounds so fucking pretty and idk how to describe it, just beauty.

"When I was alive, and uh... yeah, my family's Italian, but I'm from New York. Lived there my whole life. Neva' been to Italy."

16. So, Alastor, is Niffty in a contract with you afterall, or did she just exist in your house one day and you just adopted her? Also, Charlie can now technically call you dad, cause your her mom's boyfriend, so maybe stepdad? Second dad?

"Niffty is my friend - of course I don't own her soul! And I was already a father-figure to Charlie, but I never seriously meant that she should call me dad."

17. Charlie girl, you did it! You fixed your mommy issues with your dad, your new mom, and your mom's boyfriend.

"Uh... I don't think that's how that works..."

18. Hazbing hotel should be renamed issues hotel, cuz we got Daddy issues (Angel, Alastor, Husk I think?), Mommy issues (Charlie ((she kinda solved them)), Pentios maybe), parent issues (Husk ig, Vox, maybe velvette? Cuz if she was just 19 ((young kween, we stan u girl)), I imagine her parents sucked ((boo, tomato tomato))), uh, just straight up issues (Luci, Vaggie, I recon Val had a shitty life) and a shitton of trauma.

"Fuck off, my dad was awesome."

"And for the last time, I don't have 'daddy issues'. My mother did just fine on her own."

19. Alastor did you wear cattle shoes back when you were alive? Also, how is New Orleans? I think it looks really pretty and has a beautiful beautiful culture. Maybe if I have money, I'll visit! See where my fave serial killer murderer came from. Also, is French hard to learn? I'd like to give it a shot. Last thing: drop that lash care girllll, why do men have such pretty lashes? Scratch that, why are men like you so pretty?

"I did, and New Orleans is indeed beautiful. I strongly recommend a visit! And I must admit, I don't speak fluent French. I can speak some Creole French that I picked up throughout my life. It was never something I studied, though. As for your last question, I'm afraid I don't quite know how to answer that."

Note from Mel: Please only send one or two asks at a time. This was a bit overwhelming, and it makes tagging complicated.

[cevansbrat0007]

https://youtu.be/-KDS_NuXYHI

This is how I’d imagine Andy and jr ngl

Summary: Don't ever ask Andy about his business...

Warnings: Fluff, Girl!Dad Andy, Shady A.J., Cursing, Shenanigans, Brief Talk of Murder, Minors DNI

A/N: Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. All mistakes are my own.

___

You're heading into the kitchen in search of an afternoon snack when you almost collide with your son, A.J. At thirteen-years-old, he's already a good head taller than your 5"2 frame. The boy was growing like a weed – with no signs of slowing down. At this rate he was going to be taller than Andy by the time he hit sixteen. 

“Woah!” He , grabbing your arm in an attempt to steady you. “You really gotta start watching how you take those corners, Mom. I really thought you were about to run me over.”

“Sorry, honey. I was on a mission – need something yummy to tide me over until dinner. Preferably something crunchy.” You tell him before shaking off his hold so that you can wrap an arm around his shoulders. “We got anything good in here?”

“Probably not. RoRo ate the last of the potato chips last night.” He answers as he follows you back into the kitchen towards the pantry.

Well, that was disappointing. You’d kind of had your heart set on some salt and vinegar kettle chips. “That’s alright.” Sighing, you begin to rifle through the cupboards. 

Maybe you’d munch on a few sourdough pretzel bites instead. 

“Looking for the pretzels?” 

“Uh huh.” You turn to stare at him over your shoulder. “Why? Don’t tell me those are gone too?”

“Yep.” He confirms. “Dad and KitCat polished ‘em off a couple days ago.”

“Seriously?” You grunt. “But everyone knows that the ones with the honey mustard seasonings are my favorite! And they still ate them?” 

Wasn’t family supposed to love you enough not to eat your shit? Wasn’t that, like, a cardinal rule or something?

“Mom…I really hate to break it to you, but…” A.J. leans over to rest his forearms on the island, his expressive hazel eyes dancing with mischief. “We’re living with a bunch of heathens. And at this point, I really think they’re beyond help. They’re way too far gone.”

Now that makes you laugh.

“You’re probably just saying that because they didn’t offer you any.” You’re still chuckling as you decide to try your luck with some hummus and carrots you’d stashed in the back of the fridge.

“They were incredibly rude. Katrina flat out told me that hoped she offended my “delicate sensibilities”.” He grumbles with a snort. “And then she got mad when I asked her how many cats she planned on living with when she moved out after college.”

“Bet she didn’t like that one very much.” You mutter as you decide against the carrots in favor of some garlic pita bread. 

“She didn’t. Even called me a few choice names that I’d rather not repeat. Mostly because I can’t pronounce them. And I refuse to look them up.” He sniffs, turning up his nose in mock outrage. “I told her that if she wants to insult her baby brother, then she needs to do it like a normal person.” 

“Right…I’ll, uh, ask your sister to stop using the dictionary to insult you the next time I see her.” You dip a chunk of pita into your hummus before popping it in your mouth. Shit was good.

“Thank you! She’s worse than BiBi now.” 

A.J. tries to steal a piece of your snack, only to pout when you slap his hand away. You boy was seriously starting to resemble Andy more and more these days, from their facial expressions to their shared mannerisms. Sometimes it was downright scary.

“You’re welcome, darling.” You’re about to shovel another bite of food into your mouth when a thought strikes you. “Mm! Speaking of Bianca, I thought she said her boyfriend was gonna stop by."

"He did." He grunts with a shrug.

That’s…odd. You think. You hadn’t heard the door while you were upstairs. And even though you’d been laying down, it wasn’t like you’d been sleeping or anything.  

"What? When?" You cough as you choke down a piece of bread. 

“Eh, probably about thirty minutes ago.” Comes your son’s noncommittal response. “I caught him before he could ring the bell."

And now you were doubly confused. Because A.J. never really seemed to care about the boys his sisters brought around. In fact, he mostly ignored them unless they brought food or wanted to talk about video games. Otherwise, he just stared at them without blinking until his foe got too uncomfortable.

"Good thing you were by the door, I guess.” You motion for him to hand you a bottle of water sitting on the edge of the counter so that you can wash down your snack. “But where is he now?"

Another shrug. And then he looks off in the direction of the yard. 

“Dad took him out back. Might’ve said something about wanting to show him the new shed."

“But A.J., sweetheart, we’ve had that shed for over a year now.” Okay, you were officially confused. What wasn’t he telling you? And where was BiBi’s boyfriend?

“It’s new to Eddie.” He looks back at you with unrepentant eyes before striding over to the refrigerator to grab himself a couple of black cherry sodas.  

“Could’ve sworn his name was Everett, but –” You force yourself to stop and think about what your son just said. “Wait a minute! Why the hell did your father take him back there?” You quickly reach for a paper towel to wipe your hands. 

This was not good. 

“Honestly, mom…” A.J. pauses to crack open his drink. “It's best if you don't know. Dad says plausible deniability is always the way to go in these kinds of situations.” He takes a deep pull from the can before letting out a small burp. “Sorry.”

Your feelings of concern were slowly morphing into panic. 

"W-what situation? What happened with your Dad and Everett?" You look and sound as if you’re prepared to shake somebody, which prompts him to take several steps away from you. Your son was smart enough to know to keep himself out of snatching distance. 

“A word to the wise, mother. Never ask us about our business." With that, he spins on his heel prepared to walk away. “This conversation never happened."

Of course Andy picks that particular moment to join both you and your boy in the kitchen, draping a heavy arm atop his shoulder. By all appearances, he looks like he’s been busy toiling in the yard. And he’s rocking the dirty smudges to prove it.  

“Andrew – what is going on?" Your wide eyes flit back and forth between your husband and son, waiting for one of them to break. “And where is Everett?” 

“I tried to tell her, Dad.” Your son murmurs. Without missing a beat, A.J. hands his father the other unopened can of soda, which he graciously accepts. 

“I know, son. And it’s nothing, sweetheart. BiBi’s friend, Elliott, just stopped by to tell us that he’s gonna have to miss our barbecue on the seventeenth. Something about choosing to study abroad in Russia. Nice kid. Sent him along with well wishes to his family and prayers for a safe flight.” He offers you a one armed shrug coupled with an all-too innocent grin, letting you know that he’s over this entire conversation.

“But why would you –?” Shit. “I thought he was gonna spend the summer working for his Uncle in Salem? What did you do to him?” 

Just how much damage control were you going to have to do here?

Andy clears his throat as he sips his soda. “Listen to the boy.” He gives A.J.’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “And please, my love, don’t ever ask us about our business.”

“But I thought…” You look away for a second, squinting at your sock covered feet while you collect your thoughts and puzzle this out. “Why would you –?” 

You turn back to them, only to discover that they’re long gone. Groaning, you fetch some tylenol from a nearby cabinet and toss it back. And then you go off to find your shoes. 

Time to check the backyard. 

As long as that poor young man wasn’t somewhere buried in your garden, you’d leave your Barber Boys to their freaking business. But until then, well…

Your family might as well start calling you Nancy fucking Drew.

END

[running-with-the-feels]

I got thinking, for Satoshi’s revenge plot he’d have to go through some info gathering stage beforehand. No self respecting Lin Kuei goes in blind, so he’s had to have questioned someone about the Kombat Kids and Takeda before making a move, and really the only person that could feasibly be would be Eeron Black. He’s the only one that’s had multiple run ins with the kids that isn’t some wacky Outworld creature. Imagine if this is how he finds out about what Hanzo has been through and what he did as Scorpion. It’s all second hand hearsay and sounds too far fetched to be true, but what if?

Eeron: Takahashi Takeda? Quite the bounty you’re going for. He won’t be an easy one to pin down. Believe me.

Your best bet: get ‘em alone. Easier said than done, of course. He’s usually with that Briggs doll. She’s a tough nut to crack so best avoid her. If not her, then it’s probably Cage or that Shaolin, or worse yet, Frost. And if it’s Scorpion he’s with, don’t even bother. The fight will be done before it even starts. There’s no quick draw faster than that man’s rope spears.

Satoshi, not knowing who Scorpion is: You’re scared of a man named after a bug?

Eeron: I don’t fear nothing, kid. But Hanzo Hasashi has a kill count that puts whole armies to shame, you gotta respect that, and he’s taught your target everything he knows. There ain’t no killing him either, he just comes back more pissed than before. Trust me, if you want a lick of a chance: avoid the Shirai Ryu Grandmaster.

Satoshi: Did you say....Hanzo Hasashi?

Erron: Indeed I did

Satoshi, unable to decide if he's angry or elated: He's alive?!

Erron: For a given definition of the word

Satoshi: What does that even mean?

Erron: Well I told you how ya can't kill him, yeah?

Satoshi nods

Erron: Apparently he died, went to hell and then came back to kill the people that had murdered his family. Damn near caused the apocalypse to do it to

Satoshi:.....Did he succeed?

Erron: Far as I know, yeah

Satoshi, tossing some coins on the table: Thank you, for your information

Erron: Not a problem, pleasure doing business with you