#i believe? or at least a character experiencing thay

[umbraticstickerz]

Apparently, I never posted these doodle pages of Wendell and Austin Whoops 😭

Body Horror and semi gore warning below cut

Fun fact about Insomnium was that she originally was gonna look a lot like Henry in the old version of the MiiBuddi au, allllllll the way back from when Wendell was still called AI and Austin looked mostly like the fnf mod design

[miss0atae]

Random thoughts about Pit Babe the series ep 13:

This is the last episode and what a ride it was. I'm sad we have to say bye to the first Thai BL Omegaverse and every characters from this series. Friday won't be the same.

▪️ Of course, Babe and Charlie are back together. Babe didn't really resented Charlie for making him experienced grief and faking his death. As always, Charlie has always been very lucky with Babe. It must be the power of love. I know I should be disappointed they didn't give them the time to talk about it but it was the last episode and to be honest I'm glad we didn't spend too much time on it. Babe experienced too much sadness and grieves in this series. At least, he didn't have to do it more for Charlie. They are very much in love and happy together and I'm glad for them.

▪️ Babe had his reunion with his father after so many years. He got the chance to express how he felt about this separation. It wasn't my favorite part of the series but it was needed for Babe. I felt like his father appeared too late on the story. It came at the worst possible moment, for me. I wish he was more involved. I can't even understand why he didn't come to Babe when he escaped Tony's place and became a racer. At least, they mended their relationship.

▪️ As for Alan and Jeff, I was really waiting for them to be together in previous episodes and I'm glad in this episode they didn't have to face any hardships. Alan saved his boyfriend and they are happy together. They may be less demonstrative than Charlie and Babe, but what matters is that they are in a loving relationship.

▪️ Winner was still a sore loser. It's funny how his name don't match his personality or actions. He got what he deserves. He was a terrible person. I never had any interest for him. It's not like he never got a chance to be better. Kim tried several time in the series to make him understand that his actions will face consequences and he never listened.

▪️ Tony died! Now, he will never hurt anyone again and all those children are free from his abuse and greed. Kenta is the one who killed him and I think it was the perfect choice. He has been the one who stayed the longest with him and he was brainwashed into believing crumbs of affection (mostly giving him a shelter and not letting him dying alone) was love. He did many bad things in the name of love because he thought he would one day be loved the way he deserved or because he thought he could only do that. This character moved me a lot. I'm glad his free now. It's sad that we didn't get anything after he killed Tony. We don't know what happened to him. Is he taking care of the children? How does he live with the guilt? Is he in contact with Pete?

▪️ Finally, it's time to talk about Way. He wasn't my favorite character but I felt pity for him. In the last two episodes, he tried to redeem himself. He apologizes for his wrongdoing and lies. He actively helped Way and Babe to take down Tony, as well. He also sacrificed his life... and I'm not happy about that. I'm not used to see people dying in BLs. It's mostly the bad guys who are dying because when it's not the case it hurts too much (Yes I'm talking about you History 3: Make Our Days Count. I will never forgive you for the pain!). Way wasn't exactly a good guy but I wanted him to have a real chance to make amends. I wasn't expecting him to die for real. Until the last moment, I thought his death wasn't real and he would appeared. Pete and Way never had a chance to have a relationship. I thought they were supposed to be together. Why?!

The series ended with a positive note because Charlie x Babe, Alan x Jeff and Kim finally being able to compete in a real racing team. However, I'm still feeling a little letdown by what happened to Way, but also about Kenta and Pete in some way. I still consider Pit Babes a really enjoyable series and I had so much fun watching it. It will be a pleasure to watch it again sometimes.

I also hope we'll get to see every actors again in another series, with maybe another pairing because they are all very good and have amazing chemistry. Special mention to Pavel and Nut who know how to be pretty criers. I'm not against any special episode (I know some people don't like them, but I like to stay more in a well-known world with characters I love).

[moderngroupieanonymous]

Backstage Blues

Confessions of a Modern Day Gr*upie: A Blurb

Description: This is a blurb, a non-chronological piece of my story that I think is relevant to share regarding what happens when you're scouted to go backstage to drink with the band and when to trust your gut when things go sour.

Warnings: Topics involving alcohol and sex will be mentioned. Definitely recommended for those 18+.

✯

I wasn't even planning to go to this show. But of course, it's those last minute decisions, those completely spontaneous tickets you buy at the door that end up leading to the most... interesting nights.

I had some friends from out of town visiting my city and they wanted to go to a show at a small venue down the street from me. Personally, I never say no to a show, so I agreed. It would be fun. What's hilarious about this show was that we actually went to see the opener, because we discovered them through a separate band we had seen quite a few times. In fact, I had never heard of the main band before. Last time I checked their instagram they had around 100k followers. We were seeing them for their North American tour.

Misconception about being invited backstage is you have to put hours into your appearance. This is fully false. This night actually I had so much going on that day that I barely had time to get ready at all. In 20 minutes I quickly ate a few bites of pad thai, touched up my makeup and added liner, and threw together an outfit consisting of an old black skirt, black flowing top, and knee high boots. My hair was fully just tossed into one of those messy buns (I'm cringing at this fanfic term bye) because I didn't have enough time to style it.

Getting to the venue that I arrived late to, I bought my ticket at the door and scanned the crowd to meet my friends who were already there for some time. I had been to the venue before, it was one of those old timey ones that have been around for years and years, which gave it a lot of character. Once inside, I began looking for my friends, taking in my surroundings while making my way through the small venue. While I counted the lingering stares from people as I walked by I immediately noted I was probably a little over dressed for the crowd/ fanbase (again, we were there to see the opener, so I had no clue what the crowd would be like for the main act). I didn't mind it though. I'm a firm believer in wearing whatever you feel good in. If you feel good, your energy is right, and your energy is what attracts others to you. It makes you magnetic.

Another misconception about being invited backstage is that you have to be front row. It's funny because my experiences have been quite the opposite. And once I tell you it makes a lot of sense. When a band is on stage they have no way of keeping track of you, they have other things to worry about, obviously. On their end, they don't have the opportunity to be the ones to invite you backstage. In a case like this, it's all up to you, aka being at the stage doors or waiting by the tour bus to catch the artists while they're not working (more of this type of story to come in my other writings). But no, this is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about being scouted to go backstage. Completely different. And much more... spontaneous? Much less... effort? Much... different, to say the least.

So, no. I was not front row for this show. Once I finally met my friends we stayed in the wayyy back of the venue the duration of the show (after we pushed our way to a decent spot to see the opening band). We actually were by the merch table, close to the bar where we were able to get a few drinks. I was honestly vibing to the music and we all were dancing and just having a good time. It was nice to experience a show with low stress since we genuinely were experiencing this band the first time.

As the night went on, I became distracted by this man who kept brushing past me and running around throughout the venue, tending to the merch table behind us, etc. I honestly at first thought he was a roadie, but I'd soon find out later in the night that he was the band's manager, the main act. I tried not to be too concerned by him as we listened on to the show. He, however, also noticed me, probably from the amount of times he may or may not have purposely brushed by me in his mysterious haste.

"Here, put this on, we love free advertising," I hear a voice from behind me, the manager, offering me a beer sleeve with the band's logo on it for me to slip my White Claw into. I laugh and thank him, accepting the sleeve and putting my now almost-empty White Claw into. I didn't think much of it at the time, my friends and I laughed at it and continued on with enjoying the music. He probably had it lying around and noticed my group having a good time in the back and just handed it out. It was 5 bucks after all, I checked the merch stand.

Not 20 minutes later I get another feeling that his eyes were on me again. Out of the corner of my eye I see him approach me the second time and I'm curious to find out what he'll come up with next. More free merch?

"You finished your drink?" he shouts over his band's music, noting I'm no longer holding onto the logo decorated beer sleeve I had slipped into my bag after downing the rest of my seltzer. I laughed and told him I did.

"Want me to get you another drink?" He says to me. Is this guy hitting on me now? I push this thought away for the moment because, obviously I will never say no to a drink. The bar was right behind us anyways, so what's the harm?

"I'd love that," I reply.

"Great, come with me backstage we'll get you a shot. You can bring your friends," he instructs me as he already takes off towards the back of the venue, expecting me to follow. Why was this dude always in such a damn rush for fucks sake?

I barely had time to grab my friends, tell them what was going on over my shoulder, and drag them with me as we weave through the crowd following Manager Man towards the restricted areas. It had become official. We were going backstage. Like I said before, half the time you're scouted to go backstage, it happens when you least expect it. Let's review so far though, what I've learned:

Wear what you feel most confident in, because you'll feel your best.

Being front row for this specific situation does not matter.

Enjoy yourself and your energy will attract others around you.

Manager Man lead us through a series of restricted areas, moving security ropes, and breezing quickly by signs screaming AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY, until we finally made it to the green room where the sounds from the stage all became a dull muffle. Taking in my surroundings it was as I expected any green room would appear. Instrument cases were haphazardly stacked in the corner of the room, clothing garments strewn on the floor, and every inch of tabletop space of the vanities were covered in half-eaten sandwiches, cracker boxes, water bottles, and various handles of alcohol. Super glamorous.

He poured us each a shot of Jameson served in red solo cups which I happily accepted, letting the brown liquor warm me from the inside out. My friends were chatting over the opening band's performance as Manager Man pulled me aside.

"So, you have any plans after this?" he muses. I told him not as of now (since literally 3 hours ago I wasn't even going to this show in the first place).

"Well, you can come out with us after. Hang on the bus with the guys and drink with the band," he says to me before taking a sip of his beer and allowing me to mull over his offer. I knew exactly where this was going at this point. I guess managers are in charge of much more than bookings and merchandise... they're even in charge of recruiting women to entertain the band after the show. This was where my first yellow flag came up, because truthfully, I didn't even know this band existed a week ago. Prior to this, all times I've hung out with bands I had spoken to them before, or we had at least followed each other on social media.

But, at this point, Manager Man needed me more than I needed him. He wanted dive bar recommendations for us to all go to after, and, it being my city, I knew every place they could be interested in. So for now, I thought we'd entertain the idea. After we said we were down for the after show, Manager Man gathered up our passes to wear so security wouldn't harass us when we stayed after the show.

We chatted a bit more. He told me he liked my name. He told me I reminded him of someone he knew. He handed my friends and I our passes and as he walked us out he again said my name a few more times to himself like he liked the way it rolled off his tongue.

After being lead back to the crowd, before we knew it, the band had finished up their encore and the concert goers began to clear out. We watched the roadies scurry about the stage, packing up the equipment as we chatted amongst each other while the venue cleared out. Security took note of our passes and looked between us and Manager Man, silently putting the pieces together. As the crowd thinned, I took note of other girls lingering with passes as well. Damn, more recruits? Manager Man definitely was a busy man. I had to give him props.

It was only when we were ushered outside by Manager Man and corralled to stand by the tour bus parked outside the venue where I really started to see what was going on. We really were there for the band members to pick and choose to join them on the tour bus. Other fans without passes who had gathered outside the venue in hopes of seeing the band too were also taking notice. It was at this point my friends and I really were getting turned off by the entire thing. Manager Man kept coming up to me in between his runs back and forth between the venue and loading the bus to check in with me, asking if we needed anything, and making sure he knew the bar I recommended to him from earlier in the night. He sure did cover his bases this dude. And one by one, I watched each of the band members load onto the bus.

That's when I saw him. One of the guitarists from the band, who was chatting with two guy fans about their set next to the bus. He was hot. I honestly was staring a little longer than I should have, and right when I was about to look away was when he noticed. He locked eyes with me as the fans continued to chat to him, and he also didn't look away. I then watched as his eyes slowly scan the length of my body and was almost shocked by how bold he was with it. My friends even took notice at this interaction.

That's when another girl, bolder than me, went right up to him and within 5 minutes they both went onto the bus together to join the rest of the band. Could I have done the exact same thing and have gotten onto the bus, leaving the rest of my friends behind? Yes. Would it have been worth it? No. Because clearly in this case, it doesn't fucking matter to these guys. In the case of living up to a certain image of being surrounded by women as the expectation of men in successful bands, clearly these guys were... dare I say... desperate. I saw right through it. And I know my worth.

I knew where they were going on their tour bus. I was the one who told them which bar to go to. Could we have gone to the bar anyways and have met up with the guys then? Sure, if I really wanted to see things through with the guitarist. I think it's okay to go to certain lengths to get the things we want from this scene, but I also think it's more important to value ourselves as individuals and the morals we have. And this situation just felt ultimately gross to me at the end of the day. So, my friends and I ended up leaving. I wished Manager Man a wonderful night with his guys as they head of to the bar I sent them to, and we want our separate ways.

Oh, and the guitarist followed me on Instagram a week after the show.

✯

AN: Hellooooo babies! This was a longer one... Not quite how you expected it to end, right? Well, don't worry, my success stories are well on their way. I think these side stories/blurbs are important to share because they're more or less lessons I've learned along the way of things that I've experienced in this scene. I want you all to be as informed and prepared as you can. Much more to come! xx

As always, my asks and messages are always open! <3

[hirmienworld]

Anyway what I really find amusing is that at least for me, I wasn't experiencing such a big amount of anticipation, conjectures, theories, character analysis, set and props placement analysis with such a large group of loyal and scrupulous fans.. maybe since the "Who is -A in Pretty little liars?" . Never I would have believed, in those days, that all this excitement would have been about a Boy's Love Thai drama.

"Only Friends" really is powerful.

Also, before getting into drama and BL drama, with all the binge watching of show on Netflix and other streaming platforms, I had forgotten how it was to have to wait a whole week for an episode.

[watchingblsnowandforever]

In less than a year, I have completed more than fifteen BLs (most of them Thai). I've binged most, but I watched a few while they were airing as well. It's easier for me to compare the different types of bls out there.

I have experienced a lot of conflict, some not so bad and some heart-wrenching. My heart being fully invested, I've fallen in love nearly as many times as I've been heartbroken. The only one that made me cry so far though, is Theory of Love. It's not my favorite, but I do love it.

Anyways.

I didn't know how to start this, so I just went off from one point.

All things considered, i like B&B. I love Cher's energetic and cheerful nature, I like how Boss (yes we're calling him boss) at least tries to open up himself to Cher despite his painful past.

It makes me smile at how Cher just wiggled his way in and refuses to leave.

I also love depression making a cameo. Like yes, that's a normal thing that people have, but he's getting therapy, and he's doing better now.

As i said, I've experienced a lot of conflict. Sometimes, I just need fluff. Like this show. Sometimes, it's okay if the characters are just happy and go through small everyday hurdles instead of one big obstacle that lasts more than half the show.

Case in point: Enchanté. We just get like 1 (one) episode of fluff and communication, and the rest is all conflict.

This is absolutely my personal opinion, and I do not want to hurt anybody or force anyone else to believe in this.

In real life, I really don't like conflicts or confrontations. And sometimes, i just want the characters to avoid that too. Just solve your problems together, be happy, you know.

[absolutebl]

10 BL Scenes I Wish We Had Translator Notes On

Inspired by a discussion in this post. Here are some BL scenes I really wish we had extensive notes from translators to read. Or that a language coach or linguistics professor would analyze. 

(Note: I don’t always have a picture of the scene in question.) 

1. Daisy & Touch’s Date in Secret Crush On You 

I did this one myself but I am nothing but a dilettante, I’d love someone more experienced with Thai nuance and the queer community do a full on analysis of the language use. 

2. Phun coming out to his dad in Love Sick 2

I haven’t rewatched in a while and I would probubly understand more now, but at the time this scene was SO confusing. The translated pronouns are all over the place and I wasn’t at all sure whether he even was actually coming out or not. 

3. Thun talking to his mom on the phone in He’s Coming to Me 

There a whole subtle thing that goes on when Mes overhears Thun on the phone, to do with “ter.” I think I got it, but also, I think I missed a bit of the nuances that’s insightful to their mother/son relationship. 

4. The ex-girlfriend, the boys, and the balcony in Precise Shot

A VERY odd choice as this is a Chinese censored bromance but I am pretty darn sure there is a whole subtextual dig at Taiwan and Taiwanese spoken Mandarin in this scene that went WAY over my head. I think it’s so rich for China to take a dig at Taiwan in an CENSORED BL. I want to know more about what’s going on.

5. The gendered(?) register code switch in the office kitchen in Old Fashion Cupcake 

Honestly the translations are just really really bad for this one (on Viki for Japanese in general) and I am super grateful I have at least some ear for Japanese because I can tell when they mess up (which they keep doing). It’s a marker of how good this show is that I adored it despite this. Still, I would like the nuance of this scene explained a bit more. I get that he switched into a feminine register but how exactly? To what degree? What are the additional implications of this? How rare is that for a man of his age? How mocking was it? Or does mockery not come into it? Is there a queer of gay coded implication to this behavior? I HAVE QUESTIONS.

6. Nuch’s speech in Not Me

We don’t get speeches in BL very often, especially not subversive ones from a queer person addressing a crowd. The language is by necessity completely different under these circumstances and I really really like to know how and why certain choices were made. 

7. Paitong’s speech of protection in La Cuisine  

I love the way this one is translated but I am not entirely sure that translation was accurate. The supportive way Pai talks about his sisters (including Kitty in that) made me so happy, I want to believe it is honestly translated but I am not 100% certain that the queer implications of that translation were thought through (in English). 

8. The frozen register usage from Prince’s mom in Sky in Your Heart. 

I did not like this BL but the language use going on when Sky visits Prince’s house mansion is CRAZY cool. There is a dialectic switch but also a register switch and I am pretty sure they are speaking in frozen (which no one really does IRL unless they are/are with royalty). I’ve never heard anyone speak Thai the way she does. 

* Note: Anytime you see Thai script subbed it means the characters are probubly speaking in a heavy dialect. So there are a few shows set in the north, like Siew Sum Noi that I would have liked a lot more linguistic info on, but the fact that I managed to find them translated at all, is kinda a miracle. 

9. Yaja time in Semantic Error

I think I fully understand the concept and I got the implications of the drunk conversation before the kiss. But I’d like to know, in that particular version of yaja time, if there’s anything else more subtly queer going in with these two. I mean we all known and could hear that JaeYoung executes the sluttiest “hyung” on the goddamn planet but is there something else happening linguistically? 

Often with KBL the culture around queer is so coded and so subtle I feel like I am missing a lot of the linguistic hints. Or maybe it just really is that repressed.

10. Mr Cinderella and the pronoun negotiations

I can’t pick a specific scene off the top of my head, although I am sure there is one. I understand from @squeakygeeky​ that Vietnamese I/you pronouns are pretty gender and power dynamic coded. This makes Mr Cinderella (the least Seme/uke of all VBLs) one of the most challenging on the actors and translations. I’d love it if they, and me, were given more information about this. Not just translation, but script choice, why those pronouns at that point in the narrative? Why the switch? Why NO switching? That kinda thing. 

(source)

[squeakygeeky]

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about tropes I normally hate and what it’s like to see them executed the way I enjoy. My Only 12% got me with the time skip. I very often hate them, especially in BL, but also in general. (Anyone else still scarred from Battlestar Galactica and Fat Lee etc. or is that just me?). This one was my usual least favorite variant, the time skip + forced separation and I still enjoyed it. Here’s what I think made the difference.

It didn’t suddenly show up at the end, it happened around the last third.

The characters were separate but kept it touch to a believable degree.

We got a montage of what happened during the time skip as it was happening instead of suddenly being dumped 4 years later and getting everything in flashbacks, if at all.

 Eiw especially experienced much-needed growth and change during the time skip, both because of the separation, but also inspired by Cake (which is important because it would be a problem if it seemed like he would be better off without Cake in his life at all forever).

Neither character changed to an unrecognizable degree

Despite the same actors playing the characters, they do seem like university students and not young teens now. I know I felt like the actors were way too old for their roles but now it makes sense. They seem like the right age for their current roles, even if they are a bit older.

They are being styled differently, but also manage to convey growing up through a difference in body language.

It’s very clear how the dynamic of their relationship has changed, even though they’re still best friends. Eiw isn’t the shy dependent one anymore. He’s in familiar territory, he’s further advanced in his studies, he has lots of friends, he has fulfilling hobby. More importantly he understands that he has a crush on Cake and seems to have made peace with that. There’s a little pining, but it’s nothing compared to the jealously eating away at Cake, which is made all the worse by the fact that I don’t think he’s aware that it’s romantic jealousy, so he’s jealous of anyone close to Cake. And Cake is now the one with actual competition.

There’s suddenly an element of sexual tension that wasn’t there before.

For the other aspects of this episode, I’m glad I’ve picked up enough about Thai to understand the teasing between Eiw and Cake over the fact that Eiw is now a year more senior in school. ‘Nong’ was getting translated as both ‘baby’ and ‘freshman.’ Very cute that Cake was willing to ‘phi’ him back.

We still have literally everyone they interact with knowing that this is the Cake and Eiw show, and their parents knowing they sleep over with each other constantly, but nobody really questioning it as something romantic except Tal, who himself likes Eiw, and Tal’s cute barista friend, who will definitely need to console him. So I have no idea how things will go when it all comes out so to speak.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Odd question but is izuru kamakura a person or a state of being

Like

Does izuru count as a separate being of hajime

Or

Is he hajime with simply to many talents

Meaning if someone gets all talents will thay become a instance of Izuru kamakura.

Initially, when I was created, I was just a void. It was more like I was Hajime Hinata’s body, with no identity or personality after it had all been wiped away.

But shortly after Hajime escaped from the Neo World Program, I was formed inside his head. Maybe that’s to mean that this whole time, despite being a hollow shell, I really was my own person, and he didn’t want me to go.

I think we are a unique case as well. Ayumu Fujimori and Nagito Komaeda have the same power as us, but neither of them experienced a second personality or character like me. Or at least they never claimed to.

That might be because neither Ayumu or Nagito had their personalities wiped.

Or it may be because the way Hajime acquired his talents, and the way they acquired their talents are different. You had to go through brain surgery and medical procedures. They just drank a magic potion.

Both are indeed possible. But to give a simple answer to the question, I am a separate being of Hajime.

Hajime and I are nothing alike personality wise. At most, we believe in the same things and fight for the same causes. However, our outlook on such causes are different.

What do you mean?

Hajime fought and protected people with his talents because he thought it was right.

I wish to do the same, but not for others sake. I want to know if there is any meaning to using these abilities.

...And to see if I can find a way to get enjoyment out of the life I have been given.

[thephantomporg84]

As much as I love the trope of characters that hide that they have a lot of negative feelings by putting on an act, I really wish it was made more obvious Dante's cuhrayzee wahoo pizza man act is partly a front, since it kinda seems like people don't notice? Sure there was DMC2 but DMC2 is treated as barely canon by most, and Dante's characterization was one of many big complaints about it.

Oh god I totally feel this Anon. 1,000% agree, as someone who love love loves this trope, too. Lol. It’s why I devour a good DMC story on AO3, especially if the writer knocks this trope out of the park.

But yeah. That was sort of one of my bigger nitpicks about DMC5 as a whole. Like. While I do appreciate that the game (and series, really) can be played and the story does mostly work if you’re not invested in it and taking it at face value / just want a good action game — which is a super helpful tactic to bring new people in with such a gap between titles — I hate how it ruins the context of a lot of stuff.

Vergil (as V) all but looks directly at the camera and says ‘I’m a bastard and did what I did because I was afraid/wanted to be loved and protected’ but Dante’s internal conflict is wayyyy more subtle and it’s cheapened if you really have to spell it out, imo — because I feel like the ‘negative feelings behind a goofy exterior’ thing is easy to portray hard to give real depth to. As in, it’s easy to make Dante be cuhrayzee and swing his chainsaw motorcycle around, but hard to show that it’s an act to fool others (as well as himself, probably to some degree). Unfortunately, on top of all that, lot of people aren’t gonna wanna bend over backwards like you, me, and others have done to discuss and pick Dante’s (or any character from any series, really) personality apart.

That said: I don’t think there are nearly enough contextual clues present in any of the games to make this more apparent, either. I remember some guy made a pretty good video a few years back about how the anime proves Dante is actually depressed on YT, and that video blew up and got nearly 100-150k views (which is a lot, esp. when you consider how dead this series was ‘till E3 2018), and a lot of people were ‘shocked’ and ‘never noticed xyz indicator’ before.

Like... If you give me a scene and have given me all the clues I need, but they’re super vague and I miss it? That’s on me, and totally my bad — another reason to replay the game with a more watchful eye. But I feel like DMC has left way, wayyyy too much out about how Dante feels to even do that, now.

I think one of the best examples of that lack of any kind of solid clues about Dante’s personality is in DMC5: In game, Patty calls to invite him to her birthday, and is loud and chatty and kind of annoying. Dante just seems to cringe and brush it off/hang up. If you weren’t familiar with the anime, then you might just brush it off as a gag, or see it as a brief throwback/cameo if you were. Either way, you could chalk it up to ‘oh wow wrong number / what an annoying girl haha.’ But then if you look in Before the Nightmare, which isn’t even available in any language except Japanese, we see that Dante is incredibly uncomfortable at the idea of being around ‘normal’ people, and I believe it even mentions that he plans to make it up to her.

This ties back into my complaints about putting so much meat from the story in the side material, and then not even making the side material available with the game or even easy to access. I feel like putting that kind of interesting characterization in side material is almost criminal lol. Because that makes the whole scene have so much more weight — especially because it sets up that this man is clearly uncomfortable with what he is, possibly now more than ever, and is about to be asked to kill his brother, again... because of what they both are. You also lose that family dynamic of Nero experiencing the same type of isolation as Dante without even fully understanding why.

And if that wasn’t enough, you also lose some AMAZING bits of characterization if you never read Before the Nightmare like:

Dante still sending Grue’s (from the DMC1 novel) two living daughters / their other caretaker (Morrison looks after them, too) money. Dante also had to mercy kill Grue’s oldest daughter. He sends it to them from using money out of his own savings.

The former patrons of Bobby’s Cellar (re-named Grue’s Cellar) and those in the mercenary world immensely disliking Dante, and fully blaming him for the deaths in that bar, Grue’s death, Nell Goldstein’s death, and the hospital invasion/massacre that happened in the DMC1 novel. So, Dante is even hated in the mercenary world, and shoulders the blame for a lot of stuff that he didn’t do / has probably lost a lot of work because of this — and a lot of it is stuff that Gliver (👀) did or instigated.

The caretaker of Grue’s girls absolutely hating Dante, even though the sisters defend him, and he most likely knows and just says nothing. The caretaker even remarks that she thinks he’s a bad omen and she ‘Hopes he’s dead’ and that ‘If he’s alive, I’d love to stick a shotgun up his ass’.

Lady noticing that the qliphoth is growing in Redgrave City, and then noticing the name on Dante’s guns later — then wondering what the connection was there — indicating how little even people like Lady really know about him.

Like, holy shit that’s just a few things and it already adds so much depth to Dante’s character that’s not there in the games alone. I know I’ve said a million times not to take the series that seriously or in realistic terms, but... I mean... even ridiculously goofy stuff like JoJo’s has really well developed, layered characters that will surprise you / break your heart in the blink of an eye. So it’s not impossible for something like DMC to make some stuff a little more apparent.

Oh, and as for DMC2 — if it hadn’t followed the trend at the time of randomly making your protagonist into a dark/angsty/edgelord version of themselves, and had given the angsty turn some logical explanation, then I don’t think it would have been quite so hated (at least, janky gameplay and rushed design aside). Itsuno said that’s the one he’d remake if given a choice to do a remake, and I can’t help but think he wouldn’t say thay without having some ideas on what he’d do differently.

(SORRY I KNOW THIS IS SUPER LONG. But it’s something that really irks me a lot because it could be SO GOOD if handled a little better lol.)

[deprssivewriter]

Errors in general and Nye in particular

Thanks to the best bro for motivation (even though you did it unconsciously).

It’s time to talk about concept and characters, yeah. Although today I will pay attention to the most unprocessed of them.

A brief digression: once upon a time there was a boy of fourteen years old and he wanted characters with angel wings. But he not only had given up on the wings, and he'd given the race the stupid name "Errors," and by the time he was twenty, he hadn't come up with anything better. So, in addition to the wings, Errors each have their own curse (there are only a few types, but more on that later). Accordingly, when they are severely or mortally wounded, the curse consumes them (who understood thay understood, who did not understand they will understand). However, even after the resurrection, the curse does not immediately go away, it torments the wearer for another couple of days (depending on the circumstances), while the body slowly recovers. Errors are born rarely from ordinary people, parents see the wings from birth, even though they are like in a hidden state. By the age of 3-4, Errors awaken their first powers, including their wings, and they can no longer keep them hidden, so for the next few years everyone can see their wings until they learn to control them. We continue to develop my insanity, Errors are immortal. You can kill them only by pulling out their wings, all other methods of killing lead only to rebirth. By the way, the Error itself can not pull out the wings, either, they will grow back in this case. It seems that all the most important things are indicated.

Let's go back to the one I originally wanted to write about. Nye. Initially, he was envisioned as a completely neutral character, but quickly enough something went wrong, and he became an asshole, which probably difficult to find. But a recent conversation with bro made me think about him. I really wanted to write something, and I asked her if she wanted to see something from the life of a certain character. She also said that she wanted Nye and Jack(another Error) to meet for the first time, and I was a little upset. It was in my mind in general terms, but I never thought about this moment in detail, however, as well as about Nye. Among all my characters, he is the only one who does not have a prototype from real life. Somehow, he just happens to exist on its own. Among other things, somehow it turned out that he was fucking special. In theory, the first Error appeared due to a freaking major failure in genetics, according to the theory, all the genes there should have been recessive (I'm not a biologist, so I don't quite understand what I'm saying, I warn you right away). Nye, in turn, was born an albino, which is also a fucking glitch in genetics, and with it came a new curse that no one had before. Nye is currently the only carrier of it (and probably the only one, I don't think that he wants to have a child). So, when I thought about him, I tried to put aside all my negative attitude towards him, and realized that in fact he is very strong, and it is quite possible that he was so twisted because of life. He had to deal with all this shit himself (Errpr’s powers, I mean). And even when he was able to find some information, he still had his curse, which no one had ever seen before. And I will remind you that he is an albino, so he periodically got severe sunburn. I also remind you that the curse begins to work when the wearer is seriously injured. His curse is carnivorous butterflies (yes, what will you do to me). They eat away at the place where the wound is, which is accompanied by hellish pain and not the most pleasant sight, in the case of death, the butterflies eat him completely, while he remains conscious for as long as possible (when I imagine what pain he is experiencing, I already wince). And to avoid suffering, he was able to subdue his own curse, which also happened for the first time in the history of Errors.

Nye has learned to spray his body on butterflies and thus travel long distances in a very short time, he has to wear a black cloak so that the sun can not burn him, and in case of which people do not see his rotten, butterfly-eaten flesh. Also, since some butterflies are extremely good at mimicry, he has learned to use them to turn into any person, which is also a great achievement. Let's go back almost to the beginning of the post, where I mentioned Jack. Nye took him away from his family around the age of 7 to take care of him, so that he would not face the same difficulties as Nye himself. Only Jack's family was good, they loved their son, even too much, perhaps even considered it a blessing that their son was an "angel". But Nye took him anyway. My main character, has a theory that maybe Jack's parents were part of a cult that hunted her once (ugh, in short, Error’s feathers are important shit and that very sect catches them as children until they can't control their wings), or at least were going to give it to them, and all their love is ostentatious, so that Jack does not master the ability to hide his wings for as long as possible. Given that I still haven't refuted this theory, it's possible that this is true, and Nye actually saved him (let's skip the point that after a dozen years, he began to treat him). I'm all for what, maybe Nye is just broken, like almost all of my characters. Yes, compared to someone else (I'm talking about the main OC, yes, her name is Tie), his suffering and pain are not so large-scale, but we all have a different psyche, none of us consists of iron or something harder. In addition, in the end, after almost a decade from the main events, Nye still comes to his senses and realizes that he behaved like an asshole.

Up to this point, I have not had any sketches with Nye, except for some very short snatches from the plot, because it is very difficult. It is extremely difficult for me to think like Nye from events of present, he is extremely adept at mixing lies with the truth, so that in the end you involuntarily begin to believe him.

"You know, I almost feel sorry for her. She has everything and nothing — no friends, no homeland, no family… She is a proud person, she never gives up, but her very contempt for death speaks volumes. She has nothing to lose, and she wants nothing but her own death, and she won't get it. Tie is smart enough to understand this and more… She hates us, fights with us, but even so, she understands that the truth is on our side. By blood, she is a person, but by birth she is tied to Errors and **. ***, Yuzuru, and even ****** can be forgiven and accepted. Tie — no, because the hatred of the traitor and betrayal is stronger than the arguments of reason… She knows how to show that she does not care, but she is a living being. She proved to everyone that she was ready to be the best, but it wouldn't change anything… She will live her life with the stamp, so she does not fall in love. Whatever she is, she is afraid that her children will turn out to be Error and live the same life. That they'll live in hell... "The good has sharp fangs" ... that's what Tie once said. Her drinking with *******, her friendship with demons, her lack of fear… God, everyone is afraid, even me, but Tie is not… She seeks her own death, and finds someone else's, " Nye said softly.

I'm sorry, some of the words are censored (?), because I'm not ready to talk about someone’s names yet. Let's go back to the other one. Will you be able to figure out where the lies are and where the truth is, without knowing anything about Tie?

While the real Nye is hard for me, I have a good understanding of the Nye of the future and, as it turned out, of the past. And all this demagoguery I spread only for the sake of the second.

When the curse first consumed me, I didn't immediately understand what was happening. Gradually, the white butterflies of “death" were killing me. I knew I was turning into food for them, but I couldn't help it. I just lay there helplessly, watching as they gradually absorbed my flesh and reached my bones. Everything happened very slowly, and I was conscious until they got to my heart.

But even after the rebirth, they have not disappeared. I didn't want to go through that excruciating pain again, I didn't want to be [eaten] again.

I tried not to get hurt, but it's very difficult, so I started wearing a black raincoat in all weathers to keep the burns to a minimum. That's something.

But in battle, it is more difficult to avoid a blow or even death. In one of these I do not know how, but just for a couple of seconds, I turned into a flock of butterflies, with the help of which I was able to avoid a blow. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, but it struck me. And ever since, I've been haunted by the thought that it's Me who can control my curse, not it.

With small steps, I began to master it, first scattering the individual parts of the body, getting used to the sensations and control over each of the butterflies. Then it was more difficult, it was necessary to learn not only to scatter the whole body, but also to spend as much time as necessary in this state. It's very energy-intensive, but I'm sure it will pay off for me.

Maybe with this ability, I can become something special, something more…

[panpraja]

Standing in the shower remembering that the word 'corpse' is derived from the same word as the French 'corps' meaning 'body' and how 'photographie de corps féminin érotique' just makes me think of cannibals and serial killers. Interestingly enough, my showering-self thought, words like 'corpus' and 'carcass', in Russian for instance, has the primary meaning of 'structure' or 'frame', and the meaning of, say, 'skeleton' as secondarily in context.

How unremarkable it would be if linguistically we went a different way and also adopted words like 'corps' or 'carcass' to casually talk about the 'female carcass' or 'the corps of the essay'. Unremarkable because it would’ve been nornal and would know otherwise. To be honest the etymology of the word 'body' in itself is extremely complicated, so perhaps to speak of the external cask of a human was not so much of a necessity or even mindset. Shower me reminded myself that they probably had a different word for it, but abstract me reminded me how the word 'hunger' as in starvation wasn't in the Thai lexicon until recent because its always been an abundant, fertile land. At least that's what I heard.

But back to bodies, I think as I exfoliate mine, we refer to dead people as 'bodies', as in 'a body has been found'. But do we really refer to the people themselves, or just the vessel they left behind? I think this varies from people to people on a subconscious ideological level. This is when I realized that although I am Christian, speak do God and do believe in paranormal forces, I now sit in the shower in an existential crisis realizing that I don't fully have faith in a 'place beyond'. How I came to this conclusion? I realized that in every language I speak, I choose to say 'my grandmother lays in the city-centre cemetary', as in she is her body.

Even though I believe in the soul and like the idea reincarnation, and this might just be a linguistic habit, I tried yet couldn't make myself think of 'her remains lay there' or 'her body' or that 'she' and grandpa themselves are in a 'better place'. Like, when we say 'a body has been found', we imply just the carcass, no consciousness or soul within it anymore, ergo a body and not 'someone' or a person. What are we, our bodies or this voice in my head that reads my own words to me as currently I type them?

I think it's because I am generally a very physical person, as in a lot of 'experiencing' other people is focused on physically hanging out with them, even if virtually via PlayStation, but if I seize to see them I forget they exist. I love my partner dearly, spiritually, I need that 'the one' connection to even get this far, yet even though that's the main criteria, it unlocks the other 80% of my relationship with him which is physical. As a scorpio I mean, yeah, all my chakras and planets are below the belt. The point is, I realized that for me, the person is their physical manifestation. And I can't even put into words what was my 'realization' in that. I guess it's the things they choose to do, wear, and even express is what I see as the person.

Which made sense to me instantly because I always say how you are not your thoughts and dark fantasies or forbidden thinking - you are what you make of them. The mind is a mystical but also sacred safe place. Main keyword in this shower-thoughts-discussion is 'safe', a place of simulation and imaginary journeys that have just as much effect on us as a real experience. One tea-drinking in the dark alone at night session changing your entire worldview, as I once wrote regarding character development. But then what do you DO with it?

So when people say I'm not myself because I act differently in from of different people, I argue that I AM myself - I'm expressing the many paradigms to my spiritual self, I manifest it, which is perhaps my only way of truly living different lives and reincarnate through every person I meet, story I write, image I create. I love my body and voice for the many ways it gives me the ability to express and manifest my soul and 'inner voice'.

As I dry my hair I think, functioning cannibals in a modern society might express the highest form of love by consuming to being consumed by their loves ones to truly be 'one'. Which I guess they'd be polyamorous. I swear I'm sane I just spiraled somehow and got fascinated.

[cooltrainererika]

Alt-talia: Apocalypse Of Rebirth

The title is way too cool-sounding for this fic lol.  

So this is my entry for 10/22; End of the World. …Despite the fact that it’s the 23. But eh, it’s par for the course for me.

This is based in my usual AU, “Alt-talia”. However, while I did think of writing something serious, I just wrote a giant monster of a fic, I need something light. So yeah… here’s something light. I might write a serious fic later, IDK.

Also, this fic uses things that probably wouldn’t happen in Alt-talia, and it would probably make more sense for this to take place over the Internet, but they’re here for for plot convenience. It’s late, forgive me please.

Also, everyone in Alt-talia who doesn’t speak English speaks in broken English. So keep that in mind. And this focuses on non-canon characters mainly, but I can’t come up with anything else and I need to sleep.

So yeah, enjoy.

————-

A certain December

Every so often, the nations held “casual” meetings. They were, by all intents and purposes, unofficial, none of their leaders involved, and much more informal in tone.

Today’s meeting, however, was quite more than informal-

“Why the hell you so calm?!“

“China, please!”

“Shut up, Thai!”

Mexico looked at the increasingly familiar scene before him.

There was China, ranting about how all the stores were out of candles again and how the factories didn’t produce enough.

When the news that the ancient long-count calendar was nearing its end was published, he would have never expected the circus that would have sprouted up from around it.

Well, at least most of them had common sense. Or at least they tried to hide their panic. Russia was maybe a bit more grumpy and even snappy than usual, and Japan’s eyes darted places constantly in increasingly faster speeds. South Korea, the poor kid, had apprehension clear in his movements, as businesslike as he tried to conduct himself. Now, Japan and South Korea were pretty logical people, particularly the latter, but the stress was probably just getting to them. Especially with how Japan just dealt with a massive disaster last year that was still fresh in their minds.

Even America merely sweat a bit more, saying things like “End of the world? No one’s gonna believe that! You really do think I’m stupid, huh? Hahahahaha-“ as his eyes darted.

Others really didn’t seem to care; France even grumbled about one of his villages being overwhelmed by doomsday preppers.

China, on the other hand, for whatever, godforsaken reason, dropped all pretenses of denying it. And he’d also apparently gotten a habit of buying every candle he could find. Something about a three-day blackout. Well, intelligence didn’t always translate to common sense, it is said…

But even then, the idea that this 5000-year-old man was the only one in the room who wholeheartedly believed that nonsense just boggled his mind. Sure, he kind of seemed like the kind of person who might panic at this, maybe, sort of, but when he remembered how old that guy was it floored him. Then again, age was often arbitrary for nations, it seemed. 

So there Mexico sat, alongside El Salvador, Guatemala, and Honduras observing the situation before them, for once in their lives not yelling at each other in favor of watching others yell at each other.

“Hey, I wonder if it’s ever crossed any of their minds that maybe they just ran out of space?”

Mexico glanced at China, who was now shouting in Philippines’ face, the poor woman being unable to do nothing but stand there terrified, while Turkey frantically searched for something on his phone.

“Should we tell ‘em?”

The Central American trio also took a gander at the escalating scene.

“Hey, do you want to watch the circus or start fighting again?”

“...The circus is good at least.”

“Then pass the popcorn, puto.”

In anyway, Mexico heard that events were going down, for real, in good old Chichen Itza on that date. They were nowhere near Guatemala’s fire festival, but if there was an excuse to have fun, he was gonna take; he was going to be enjoying the start of a new beginning, as certain people ran to their bunkers or whatever, expecting the end.

Because even when it seemed like the end of the world, life went on!

(Author’s note: The non-Latin American countries here come from these statistics (quoting Wikipedia) :  “ In May 2012, an Ipsos poll of 16,000 adults in 21 countries found that 8 percent had experienced fear or anxiety over the possibility of the world ending in December 2012, while an average of 10 percent agreed with the statement “the Mayan calendar, which some say ‘ends’ in 2012, marks the end of the world”, with responses as high as 20 percent in China, 13 percent in Russia, Turkey, Japan and Korea, and 12 percent in the United States.”. Look it up, it’s legit.)

[forever150429]

Cultural Influences in Skam France

So I see a lot of criticism about Skam France these days, and I'd like to clarify one or two points. Each remake is heavily influenced by its culture. Adapting the show is not just about having French characters eating croissants while the Italians eat pizza to fit the context. It's way deeper than that. Remakes are filmed in a way that targets primarily their domestic audience. That's why, as a French myself, I might be more predisposed to relate to Skam France on a deeper level than some foreigners.

I am not familiar enough with the other cultures to analyze how they impacted the other remakes. All I can say, is that my friend and I were really confused when we saw how praised the acting of og s3 was in Norway. Don't get me wrong, I like how they portrayed the characters, but they seem a little bit too emotionless for me. However, I learnt thereafter that it is the whole point: subtlety is what makes a good movie in Norway. I was therefore confronted to cultural differences. Keeping that in mind, let's address the most redundant complaints about Skam France:

Skam France is overdramatic

No, it's not. At least not from a French point of view. Characters' reactions feel pretty natural to me. I can totally picture those around me reacting or acting similarly in similar situations. Showing emotions is normal in French cinema or else we feel like actors don't know how to act. Plus, French people are drama lovers, in real life and in movies. "La vie en rose" isn't what most of us is experiencing. From what I've observed after living 2 years abroad, the state of mind here tends to be a little bit more pessimistic compared to other countries. Happy endings are for example way more numerous in American movies than in French movies. So it's sad, but even though I like sweet and peaceful moments, I enjoy the show way more when things go down and when characters are confronted with harsh, overwhelming situations because I can relate more. Episodes where everyone is happy, openminded and accepting are boring at best, unrealistic at worst. And portraying a coming out where not even one person isn't supporting it in France in 2019 would've honestly been utopic, even though coming outs that end well do happen. Just ask the cast. They said several times that they received lots of messages of people that weren't supported by those around them.

Skam France oversexualizes its characters

Once again, it's a French thing. French movies are famous for showing a lot of intimacy. Even I think that sometimes it gets way too sexual. I like how they portray these scenes in skam fr though. It looks more sensual than sexual. More of a physical connection than raw sex. It remains "pure". Trust me I've seen way worse than that ! It is acceptable to us, but I know you'll never see these kinds of scenes in a kdrama for example. See ? Cultural differences.

I don't like the humour in Skam France

Well everyone has his or her own sense of humour. At least to me, the characters are hilarious and conversations are totally loyal to teenagers' interractions. But it might also be because I understand those jokes more than I would understand British jokes. It's in my culture. Plus as good as translations are, sometimes humour transcends languages so it might be hard for foreigners to understand the whole thing. I sometimes look at translations and it saddens me to know that it can't convey the exact message. Choices of words are so important. I can't imagine how much I'm missing when I'm watching remakes in languages I'm not fluent in. Maybe that's also why I relate less to them.

Skam France is too art-oriented

Well, the editing, the lighting and the camera work are all executed in order to get a beautiful, ethereal, aesthetic result. But that's also a French thing. For the majority of us, we associate art with all these components. If they had filmed it in a more raw manner, the French would have seen Skam France as less "valuable". The show would have had less credibility in the audience's eye. It would look less professional.

Skam France music choices are inappropriate

Well it's a matter of personal tastes. They had a restricted choice of songs to begin with and even though thay could have stuck to less popular but more current songs, they included a lot of classical music and some people didn't like it. But in French cinema, its common to have classical music in dramatic scenes. So it fits perfectly in Skam France in my opinion. And I actually like the fact that they used unpopular musics, so I can associate them with their respective scenes. I guess it involuntarily adds to the artistic feeling of the show.

That's all I can think about for now. I do not claim that my point of view reflects all of the French population's opinion, but I believe it is important to consider cultural backgrounds especially when it comes to judging shows like Skam. Thank you if you read until the end! Feel free to add anything if you see something else !

[artemissarrows]

SOTUS The Series: Patriarchy & Queerness As Redemption

Okay, it’s been a little bit! But I have certainly been consuming a lot of queer content I need to discuss. First up is SOTUS The Series! It’s a Thai boy love (BL) show about an engineeing college that has a super-intense hazing culture. One of the freshman (Kongpob/Kong for short) stands up to the hazers who make them do endless squats and such….and ends up falling in love with the head hazer (Arthrit). It’s a romcom so you probably know where this is going.

I *hope* this goes without saying, but HAZING IS NOT OK and should not be lifted up as a normal part of a university experience. It is abuse, full-stop. One of the yuckiest things about the show for me is how the administration is totally and completely fine with it. People who are invested in the hazing culture (and, frankly, the showrunners) try to make the case that it teaches teamwork and problem-solving and stuff like that. Not really! More importantly, it’s incredibly damaging to participants and there are a lot less harmful ways to teach those lessons, if they’re really so important.

We could just leave it there--on a surface level, it’s honestly pretty enjoyable. The two leads have pretty solid chemistry and are quite believable (at least until the very end, when they’re equally as awkard three years on. But as my partner Mx. Arrows pointed out, they are painfully awkward engineer nerds on top of everything else, so maybe that’s actually realistic. Anyway.) It’s funny. It’s heartwarming. It’s gayyyyy. The supporting friend characters are also kind of fun and I like them.

But there are some other noteworthy things going on here that I’m interested in teasing apart, and which I’m not entirely sure the show intended. Let’s do that! Lots of spoilers after the cut (but again, it’s a romcom, there’s only so many things that can be spoiled). Note that I have only watched Season 1, I know there’s another season.

It’s about the patriarchy.

The more I thought about it, the more it seems reasonable to see the SOTUS (hazing) system as a useful dramatization of the patriarchy. When I say “the patriarchy,” I mean a system of dominance that gives men power over women; SOTUS also privileges older people over younger, straight people over queer people, etc.etc.. Here are some of the ways that we can see this system of dominance playing out in the structure of the hazing system:

The SOTUS system is run by men, exclusively. There are 6 or 7 head hazers, and they are all men

They belittle, berate, and punish their younger charges for doing things like looking the wrong way, singing slightly out of tune, or questioning their authority to mete out dubious punishments for nothing at all

It’s quasi-military, with uniforms for both the hazers and the freshman, and endless drills and the blind loyalty and authority that comes with military order

Women who are not freshman are present in the second tier of hazers, beyond the men. They are ancillary to the men, and their helpers. In particular they are the medics: they ensure that the hazers can assign their punishments etc. while also ensuring that it doesn’t get too out of hand and that no one gets hurt too badly. Without their assistance, the men could not do what they do, and could not enforce this system.

The head hazer, Arthrit, also uses sexism and homophobia as weapons to enforce control and order. Of course, he’s aware that the structure of SOTUS is headed by men. But he also taunts the freshmen in these ways too. At the beginning of the year, the hazers demand that the freshmen fill books with upperclass students’ signatures. In exchange for his signature, Arthrit demands that May, a female student who asks him, give him her number and take her picture. She’s clearly uncomfortable with the interaction; it happens in the lunchroom and she’s one woman who’s the object of the male gaze of 6 or 7 seniors. In that same scene, Arthrit also harasses Kong in a homophobic way. Again to get his siguature, he forces Kong to shout “I like guys!” three times loudly, and then to ask something like 10 male students if they’ll be his boyfriend. (He then doesn’t give his signature.) Mind you, this is something like day 2 or 3 of school in the show.

Arthrit is one repressed dude. More on that later.

It’s Also About Cycles Of Abuse

We’ve established that the SOTUS is all about dominance and control based on gender and other heirarchies--but that’s just the system in one particular point. What happens to this system over time? That’s where we get into cycles of abuse, and how SOTUS harms not just the freshmen who are on the receiving end of the abuse, but also harms the hazers themselves. Let’s look at Arthrit, the head hazer/one-half of the lead couple.

He’s an extremely homophobic and self-hating gay, at least to start with. Per above, he actively promulgates homophobia. He’s also deeply uncomfortable with expressing affection toward men, and Kongpob in partiuclar--though apparently fine with grabbing Kongpob’s shirt when Kongpob stands up to him during a hazing session. When they share their first kiss after Arthrit finally confesses his feelings, Kong tries to hold his arm and hand and he keeps shoving him off. Then they go on another date, where they meet a fellow student at the movies and Arthrit lies and says it’s not a date. (This is not the first not-not date they’ve been on together...this is not at all relatable. Not at all ^_^) Anyway, it takes him and painful time to do that.

He is a seriously repressed and emotionally stunted person, and being the head hazer is a major part of why. As head hazer, he berates the freshman, he enforces order, he snaps at them, he plays games where he makes them humiliate themselves for his attention and benefit. He is comfortable ordering people around. But when it comes to being in touch with his own feelings, he’s hopeless. It takes him forever to realize he has feelings for Kong. He’s deeply confused about it, up to the very second he kisses him. His friend Knott literally has to tell him to talk through difficulties with Kong and not let them stew. He spends most of the show running away from Kong, hiding from Kong, or otherwise finding ways to not open up to him. It would be funny, if it weren’t deeply sad.

Friends, this is classic toxic masculinity. At least his friend Knott has his head on straight and gives some decent advice.

I honestly get the sense that Arthrit is a quiet, introverted, and smart guy, who felt like he was forced by duty to become the head hazer, the one everyone looks up to. Even when he’s with his hazing friends, he seems aloof, apart, and alone. But guess what: he made that choice himself! When he’s sick--because he ran 54 LAPS IN A DAY for a hazing challenge--we see that he’s into comic books, and action figures. We learn that he also gets good grades, so is obviously smart. And even when he talks to his friend--the former head hazer who recruited him--about his feelings for Kong, his friend tells him, “be tough.” (His friend also implies that he hasn’t dated much...no surprise there.) Sigh.

Are we meant to envy Arthrit, feel sorry for him, or both? He’s at the top of the social structure of the school, but he doesn’t seems particularly contented, and in fact seems disconnected. He’s the person who seems to have it all, but has nothing. I’m somewhat curious if others share this reading of him as a discontented bully who longs for human connection.

We can also think about the succession of the head hazers, and how the head hazer before Arthrit chose him, and how Arthrit chose Kong. The one before Arthrit chose him because when he punished Arthrit for speaking out by telling him to greet a banyan tree for three whole hours, Arthrit did it. Then Arthrit chooses Kong because he speaks out and heckles Arthrit. It’s super interesting to me, but I think the thing is to identify people who have strong enough feelings about the system--and care enough--that speak out and therefore demonstrate leadership skills. They then turn those feelings of rebellion back into the system and coopt them. Toward the end of the show Kong starts to feel more invested in the hazing system and I was hoping that he would try to reform it; he doesn’t seem to that much. Kong says that he likes the teamwork and problem-solving aspects of hazing; he could do those things as head hazer and take the abuse out, but he doesn’t. Cooptation.

It’s Also About The Redemptive Power Of Queerness And Queer Love

This says it all.

They’re at a party, and someone asks Arthrit if he and Kong are dating. He says, “so what?” and throws his arm around Kong’s shoulder--and Kong seems pleasantly surprised that he’s able to do this publicly. This is just ugh, so beautiful, and Krist/Arthrit acts it so incredibly well. It’s truly the first time we see Arthrit truly, hugely, bashfully smile, in the whole show. It’s always been a sardonic smile, or a joke at someone else’s expense. But here, he’s just experiencing happiness and joy, even if he’s still quite shy about it and can’t look people in the eye while he hangs his arm over Kong’s shoulder. Queerness as redemption is a trope I wish would become a thing!!

PS, here are some screenshots of Arthrit making fun of Kong’s food habits. Enjoy the fluff <3

[cookiecuttercritter]

11/11/11 Tag

Thank you for tagging, @sunshineomeara!!

1. Favorite time of day to write?

At night! Usually between 8pm - 1 am (but never 8pm to 1am straight, it varies and i am a tired smol)

2. Would you ever want to have a wip turned into a musical?

I would love to see a How to Save the World in 12 Easy Steps musical! I actually have a musical episode and a ‘the cast starts a band’ episode planned. I just think that world and cast has the right amount of whimsy and ridiculous to work as a musical.

3. Favorite time period to write in?

Is like. 2010′s an acceptable answer?? Also fantasy make-believe land where everything is made up. I’m also exploring the possibility of an anachronism stew...

4. If you could give your younger self any writing advice, what would it be?

Just give yourself permission to write. You don’t have to know what you’re doing because no one really knows what they’re doing. You’re going to get better with every piece you write and you’ll be proud of yourself no matter what.

5. Are you a computer or pen and paper kind of writer?

Computer! I have poor handwriting O O F

6. Are you a pantser or a planner (do you just write or do you plan then write? Or in between?

I plan major plot points before (like making an episode list of HTSTW) then fill in the parts in between as I go. I really tried to make a good ol outline for All Our Diversions but I think in the end I’m going to use it more like an out-of-order event checklist.

7. What the thing you hate most about writing? What do you love about it?

I write real slow. It takes me forever to find the time to write and then forever to decide how I want the sentences to be. But I love that my writing can make people smile. I like to think I have a voice that comes through and works well with the genres I work with.

8. Take a second to basically sell your writing. Aka give me at least 3 reasons why your writing is amazing and should all read your wip. Love yourself and writing!

How about lesser-known world mythologies and chimera-hybrid animals? A shapeshifting crocodile queen and her mermaid right-hand man? Color-coded ocs and more folktale allusions than you can shake a stick at?!

All Our Diversions Dipped in Gold: A fast-paced fantasy mythpunk inspired by Thai epics and folktales about duty and distraction, memory and vulnerability, the breathtaking and the breathless, and at the heart of it all, a fiery, spirited, fingersmithing half-bird spirit guide. Now that she’s gotten her wings back, who knows where she’ll go?

9. Fuck, Marry, Kill - chose your own OC’s but you have to tell us your reasoning for why you chose those characters. You can, of course, use any OC but it’s more fun to use only your main ones. You can also do both if you want!

Not sure if this is the least or the most weird possible answer I could have chosen, but Fuck Khep. They are... uniquely experienced, as essentially a lightning spirit made up of the memories of several million people.

Marry Matcha because I think I need someone kind, thoughtful and smart like her to ground me. Also, she has magic powers. Living arrangement would be tough though, she’s a mermaid and can’t survive on land... But hey, if Akirah can make it work -

Kill Jaidyn. Sometimes, he fancies the idea of dying, but his hectic neck-risking life as the Chosen One hasn’t quite managed to end him yet. What would it actually take to kill him, I wonder?

10. How many wips do you currently have?

2 main wips, How to Save the World in 12 Easy Steps, which is on hiatus between seasons, and All Our Diversions Dipped in Gold! Which is sitting at just over 60 pages and a wip intro is past overdue whoopsies

11. If your wip got super successful, would you want a tv show or movie? animated or live-action?

I actually write in script format so this is an oddly fitting question! HTSTW is designed as an animated tv show (~10 minutes an episode??) and All Our Diversions is written to be an animated movie!

Tagging: @quirky-squid @warmstarsofmysummersky @sanguinewritings @annalise-inks​ @tenacious-scripturient​ @kaatiba​ @ccwritesstuff​ @erinoddly​ @a-place-for-stellas-scribbles​ @lilquill​ @letswritefuriously​

My questions for you!

1. Top 3 bangers on your wip playlist?

2. What’s a trope we’ll have to pry from your cold, dead, hands and why?

3. If you could have any author or writer, living or dead, read your wip once it’s finished, who would you pick and why?

4. Do you imagine your ocs as Actual People or Lil Cartoon People (you know what i mean)(if the latter, in what style?)?

5. Favorite line of dialogue you’ve written recently?

6. Favorite character dynamic you’ve written recently?

7. What’s an easter egg you’ve slipped into you wips? You know, the kind of inside joke you don’t expect the average reader to notice, that’s there more for you than anything else? reveal your secrets to me

8. How would you describe your ocs’ general style of dress?

9. What’s a topic you now know uncomfortably a lot about because of ““research”” and what did you “”research”” it for?

10. What are your favorite genres to read/write in and why?

11. Hot Take on your favorite genre(s), writer(s) or trope(s), go!

[jade4813]

I love your fanfics so much. The way you write makes me feel like I really am experiencing what the POV character is. I wish I could write like that. Do you have any tips for aspiring writers?

Nonnie, thank you so much! I actually do have some tips. Just stuff that’s helped me over the years.

1) Remember that even the best writers weren’t born that way. The absolute best writers had to get there. They had to practice their writing. They have to go through editing processes. Nobody ever gets the sudden desire to write, sits down, and writes War and Peace - or even Harry Potter - on the first try, with no need for editing or rewrites or polishing. It’s a process of gradual improvement. A lot of what you write, especially at the beginning, is going to suck in your opinion. And that’s okay! You have to suck a little to figure out why you think it sucks to figure out how to make it better! Seriously, you love my writing now, but believe me when I say that before “Year of a Relationship” (the first real story I posted online) were over a hundred really, really bad stories that nobody ever read but me.

2) Read a lot. Not only is it the best way to get a sense of voice and flow and plot structure, but it also is a great way to analyze writing without the pressure on yourself of self-critique. Find a story you know really well. Find your favorite part of it. Why is it your favorite? Why does that speak to you? Then take a step back and take a critical look at how it’s constructed, how the author used their words to create something you really loved. (It is also very useful to do this with writing that annoys you. You can analyze what you consider “bad” writing and it tells you a lot about what pitfalls to avoid.)

3) Embrace the thing in your writing that you hate the most. When you find something you think you “suck” at, it’s easy to try to avoid it. But that’s what you have to embrace and push yourself to improve. When I first started writing, my dialogue was…whoo. Let me tell you. I have a friend who I tried to write a story with, very early on in my writing career. She has since become a writer herself. We still call each other sometimes to remind each other of just how unimaginably bad our dialogue used to be. Seriously. So painful. But you can’t always write stories with no dialogue, so we forced ourselves to write dialogue. Lots of dialogue. Endless streams of dialogue. And we eventually got better. (But that first attempt was…wow. Seriously. You wouldn’t believe. So. Bad.)

Every time I find something I’m less comfortable with writing, I force myself to write it more. It started with dialogue. Then it went to character perspective. Chapter stories. Humor. And, most recently, NC-17. I’d written NC-17 stories before but I was never comfortable with that aspect of my writing. I didn’t think it was very good. So, recently, I’ve forced myself to write a lot more NC-17. It’s the only way I’m going to learn how to improve.

4) Remember that even the writers you love still think there are things that they are trying to improve. There are things they still think they suck at. (Or times they think their writing just sucks in general.) So if you look at your writing and compare it to others and think, “Oh, my stuff is so much worse than theirs,” or even “they do this type of thing better than I do” then remember that every writer feels that way. It’s okay! Just don’t let that feeling stop you from writing.

5) If you’re really feeling like there’s a certain area of your writing that you need to improve but doesn’t seem to get better no matter how hard you try, be creative about ways you can tackle them. You can always ask for feedback from readers. I wrote before I wrote fanfiction, but fanfiction is where I learned to write. Because it’s where I learned what worked and what didn’t and where I got feedback and support I needed to be better.

Constructing a Scene: Having problems even knowing how to construct a scene? When I first started writing, way back when, my friends and I did something we called “storylining.” We created characters based off ourselves. (I know self-inserts or “Mary Sues” get a lot of flack and at a certain point, they should. But when you’re just learning to write, go ahead and create a character loosely based on you! Learning how to write is hard enough if you break it down into chunks. If you’re trying to figure out narrative structure and how to even relate a plot, you don’t need to add an extra burden of characterization and finding a different “voice.” Figure out how to structure a plot with a character you don’t have to think about. When you get that down, you can move into more complex and dynamic characters.) Then we’d figure out what kind of scene we wanted to do and we’d “storyline it.” It was a cross between improvisational acting and writing. We’d play the characters and act out the scene - and since we were all doing it, it didn’t take long before we lost our self-consciousness. Not only did that help figure out how scenes are constructed but because none of us could dictate what the others did with their characters, it was phenomenal practice for those moments when you’re writing and “this scene was supposed to just have Barry talking to Iris and amping up the tension a little bit but now they’re having sex against the door when it was just supposed to be a kiss and oh my god what are you guys doing this isn’t at all what I had planned?!?!?!?!?!?!?!” (As an author, you’d think you are in control of what the characters do. You would be so incredibly wrong.) Plus it was just fun.

Dialogue: Dialogue is one of those things you just have to do. You have to listen and write. For something most people do practically every day, I found it surprisingly difficult to learn how to write dialogue that sounded like something humans would actually say. What helps when you’re starting is just to write the dialogue and then read it out loud. By yourself or with a (supportive) friend. Did it sound natural or jilted? If it sounded jilted, how would you say what you just wrote? Even if that’s not in the voice of the character, the first step is to just make it sound like something that a human being would actually say. Then you can ask yourself if it sounds like something that character would say and tweak it until you can hear those words in that character’s voice in your mind. But even if you miss that, if your reader isn’t left wondering why your dialogue sounds like two aliens trying to approximate human speech (unless that’s what you’re going for), you’ve at least kept them in the story.

Also, reading it out loud will catch some absurdities that even professional writers sometimes do. Like having two characters engaged in conversation in a room with nobody else around say each other’s names every two lines. (”Iris, what do you want for dinner?” “I don’t know, Barry. What about you?” “How about pizza, Iris?” “Barry, I don’t know. How about tacos?” “I had tacos for lunch, Iris. How about Thai?” “Thai sounds good, Barry…” Seriously. Read that out loud and see if you don’t want to scream.) Just skimming the story, you won’t necessarily catch that you’ve done it. But if you read the dialogue out loud, you might notice how ridiculous that sounds. Of course Barry’s talking to Iris! They’re the only two people in the room! Who else would he be talking to? McSnurtle? Iris knows her name! She doesn’t need him to say it! (Seriously, think about the number of times in one-on-one conversation that you’ve ever said the name of the person you were talking to. It just isn’t something people tend to do in everyday life.”

Fleshing Out the Character/Scene/World: Once you’ve gotten the basics down, you can tackle more complex issues in writing. Take a romantic scene between Barry and Iris. On a basic level, you can have them say that they love each other (and there’s nothing wrong with that, particularly when you’re learning to write!). But at some point, you’ll want to set the scene in a way that gives the reader a complete sense of their love for each other that goes beyond words. It’s not just Barry and Iris saying “I love you” but the two of them sitting together on the couch, relaxing after a long and stressful day. Her curled up against his shoulder, Barry playing with Iris’s wedding band as they link fingers together. How you convey that they love each other without needing them to say it.

It’s another thing that takes a lot of practice. But a lot of that starts with just observing - other people and yourself. One way I learned how to do it was to just watch people in public. When I was at a restaurant or a park or a food court or anywhere that I could take a few moments to do so, I’d watch a person or couple or group across the room - far enough away that I specifically couldn’t hear their conversation. What relationship did I think they had to each other? What mood did I think they were in? And specifically what made me think that?

Of course, a lot of that is visual, but don’t forget the other senses. Someone who’s rushing down the sidewalk because they’re late to work is going to be visibly distressed. Their steps are going to be brisk. If they’re wearing a long coat or a dress, the fabric of those items of clothing may be whipping around their legs from the force of those steps. But there are other things going on, too. They may be muttering under their voice. If they’re in heels, maybe their footsteps are louder because they’re walking forcefully as they lengthen their stride. Or you don’t hear their heels at all because they’ve lifted their weight onto their toes, ready to break into a jog at any second. All of that adds to painting the scene.

And there are some things you have to observe about yourself. Have you ever gotten so scared that you could taste your own fear? What did that taste like? Or when you got scared, did you shut down, your brain unable to process what was going on? What was that like? Have you ever gotten so angry that you could swear you could hear the blood rush in your ears? If not, what have you noticed about what you do, taste, hear, etc. when you’re angry? How would you describe that to other people?

It takes a lot of practice. If you don’t know where to begin (when you get to that point), pick a type of sentence or scene you might set using an adverb. For example, “Barry saw Barry look sadly out the window.” Then break it apart. What does she see that makes her think that he’s sad? Are his shoulders drooped? Head bowed? Eyes filled with tears? Does she hear his heavy sigh? Why does she think he’s sad? 

If he’s anxious, how does she know? Is he unable to sit still? Moving his legs restlessly? Tapping his fingers on the tabletop? Running his hands through his hair? Biting his lip? Breathing fast? Are his words quick and running together? Is she having a hard time catching his eye? All of that will set the scene.

Anyway, those are the writing tips I thought of off the top of my head! I hope they helped a little, at least!