#i assume if she drinks a regular amount of tea you get a lot more options for romance

[deergirlcock]

i bought mice tea like right after that recommendation post btw. just finished my first route and its so so so so cute i wanna play more but i also really should go to bed

[illfoandillfie]

Kinktober Day 3: Bukkake

Kinktober Masterlist | Regular Masterlist

Pairing: Primarily Ben Hardy x Fem!Reader and Lucy Boynton x Fem!Reader + also Lucy Boynton x Rami Malek + Gwilym Lee + Joe Mazzello

Words: 4,881

Warnings: bukkake (obviously), oral sex (f receiving), 69ing, cumplay, vibrators, some overstimulation, degredation (being called a slut).

A/N: This is something of a sequel to The Dinner Party. As soon as I saw bukkake was an option for day 3 I knew I had to do something with the borhap boys and then I’m too much of a whore to leave out Lucy so here we are lmao.

The day after the dinner party was a mostly quiet one. Ben treated you to a massage which was very appreciated, and then spent the rest of the day showering you in affection, ignoring your protests that you should be thanking him since he’d helped you live one of your biggest fantasies. You spent a long while talking about it too, going over everything in more detail now that you were in a better headspace to think properly. You talked through the emotions the scene had brought up and how close it came to what you’d been imagining. Ben confided which parts he’d liked most and which parts had made him worried and how he’d come close to safe wording once, when Joe had been spanking you. But for the most part he’d enjoyed it as much as you had and you agreed that neither of you would be opposed to something similar happening again. Although you also agreed that if it was a one-off event that would be okay too.   

Everyone remained in London for some weeks though it was hard to organise a group hang out again. You did meet up with everyone individually – Rami and Lucy joined you when Ben bought tickets to the ballet, you met Joe for dinner and drinks, and played a round of golf with Gwil – but it was difficult to find a time you were all free again. And not for lack of trying. It just seemed as if half of you were always busy at any one time. Lucy kept pushing though, eager to see everyone again, and eventually the planets aligned. A meeting fell through here, a lunch was rescheduled there, and all of a sudden everyone was free. There was some back and forth in the group chat about where to meet but eventually it was decided that your place would serve best again. It felt as if everyone was being careful not to reference the last time they’d all come over. It had felt like that every time you’d seen any of them. The most anyone had said was that dinner had been nice and it was good to catch up. But neither you nor Ben were keen to be the ones that brought it up either. For one thing you didn’t want to seem as if you were fishing for compliments, but there was also the uncertainty about far they’d read into such a comment. But even with the slight awkwardness, neither of you had any complaints about hosting everyone again.   

There was a lot less to prepare this time around, just a small afternoon tea rather than a full dinner. Ben did a run to the store to pick up a few necessities like milk and bread and a bag of apples so you could whip up a simple teacake. You had a quick tidy-up but didn’t need to go to the same amount of effort you’d required to set up for the dinner party. You didn’t have to worry about moving the furniture around, or dressing provocatively, or digging out sex toys, or anything like that. And when everyone arrived you sat around the living room on whichever chairs were available with mugs of tea or coffee, chatting casually, and snacking on sandwiches and cake. Some wine and bottles of beer got opened but that was as raucous as the afternoon seemed likely to get. At least, until an hour or so in when there was a lull in the conversation.   

For a moment all the talk seemed to stop. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. The silence was perfectly tolerable if a little odd considering how many of you there were. You were just about to ask Gwil how the project he was working on was going when Lucy spoke up.   “So that dinner party was fun.” She said, her eyes flicking from you to Ben and back again.   There was a chorus of agreement from everyone else and you giggled, knowing they were all thinking about what it had felt like to fuck you. Ben slowly lowered his beer bottle without it having reached his lips fully and your heartbeat sped up, wondering if they’d have more to say.   “I just have one small regret about the night,”   “Oh?” You felt as if every cell in your body had frozen in anticipation, wondering what Lucy might have regrets about. Had she disliked something that had happened?   “Well,” Lucy took a sip of her wine as if to fortify herself a little, “I wish we’d made out more. We could have made a show of it for the boys.”   Your body had started to work again but at twice the speed, your stomach somersaulting at the suggestion. You tried to keep your voice level, “Y-yeah, that, um, that probably would have been fun.”   Ben’s head had whipped around to look at you and in your peripheral vision you saw Gwil and Rami exchange looks. The same thought was on everybody’s mind but they were waiting for you. Slowly you turned to look at Ben too, already able to see the excitement in his eyes, “What do you say Benny? You okay to watch Me and Luce?”   “Uh,” he cleared his throat and nodded, “Yeah I’d like that a lot.”   “Rami?” you asked, sure he’d already have talked it through with Lucy but wanting to give him a chance to voice any discomfort, “Do you mind if I kiss your girlfriend?”   He chuckled softly, “No, I don’t mind at all.”   “Okay,” you glanced again at Lucy who had eagerly watched the whole exchange, and then back to Ben who nodded at you and took charge of the situation.    “Right. Lads, help me move the furniture a bit so the girls have some room. Babe, go and get a couple of blankets or sheets or something so that we don’t end up with spunk in the carpet.”   You hopped up and hurried to the bedroom as everyone else began rearranging the furniture. Lucy followed you and, to your surprise, so did Ben. He grabbed the pillows from your bed, pulling their covers off so they could be replaced with fresh ones as you dug through the cupboard for some clean sheets.   “Right, what did you ladies have in mind?” he asked softly as you all busied yourselves.   “Well, I guess, maybe me and Lucy will make out-”   “More,” Lucy cut in, “Not just making out, I want to fuck you.”   You gulped, “Okay. Me and Lucy will��fuck and you guys can all watch and jack off over us. How does that sound?”   Lucy nodded enthusiastically, “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”   Ben’s eyes flicked between you but he nodded, “That's what I assumed. Just to be clear though, nothing else?”  “What did you have in mind?” Lucy asked slyly, “I’d be up for blowing you guys too if you wanted.”  Ben laughed, though his cheeks flushed pink, “I wasn’t suggesting anything. In fact, I was going to say it’s probably safer if we put a no touch rule in place. I mean if you want things to be more like last time, obviously I’d be into that and I know Y/N would be too.”  You nodded agreement.  “But this is very spur of the moment, and a lot of planning went into last time. I’d at least want to talk to Rami about offering any, well,”  “Any of our holes?” You suggested, making Ben flush more.  “Yes, that.” He said with a small laugh, “It’s probably better if it’s a look but don’t touch situation. Unless you had other ideas.”  “No, that makes sense,” Lucy said, “I did talk with Rami about it already but the idea of me being shared around wasn’t brought up, it was just about everyone watching me and Y/N.”  “Then I think it’s for the best if we stick with that.”  “Yeah, whatever you guys are most comfortable with,” Lucy said, “As long as I still get to play with Y/N’s cunt.”  Ben smiled at having such a statement addressed to him, but he could see your excitement at the idea and was happy to agree on your behalf.    “Right well, I’m going to go make sure Rami knows whats going on. Why don’t you two go and get these sheets spread out, make it comfy for yourselves, and then I’ll go over the rules so everyone hears them and we can get started.”   You pulled Ben into a quick kiss, “Thanks babe. Love you.”   “Go on, go set up.” He laughed, handing Lucy the newly covered pillows, “Who knew we had two sluts in the group.” 

By the time you returned to the main room it looked quite different. The coffee table had been shifted aside, butting up against a wall out of the way. The couch, arm chair and a few spare seats from around the dining table had been rearranged too, creating something of a circle. Ben pulled Rami aside and you were momentarily distracted watching them chat, until Lucy threw a pillow at your head to get your attention. Laughing again, a little giddy with excitement, you helped her spread out the sheets, laying the pillows in the centre. She observed what you’d created with her hands on her hips.   “There, that should do. How you feel about toys? Got a double ended dildo we could use?”   “Ummm, nothing like that. Theres a regular dildo though and a vibrator. Plus y’know, cuffs and paddles and that.”   Lucy shook her head, “What about that one with the remote we used on you last time?”   “Yeah, I’ve still got that. What are you thinking?”   “I’m thinking the boys could control it. And maybe grab the other vibe too?”   You agreed and hurried back to the bedroom as Ben gathered everyone’s attention to explain the rules of the evening.    “So Lucy and Y/N have graciously offered to be tonight's entertainment but there’s to be no touching involved. You are allowed to talk to them, give them suggestions, make comments about them, call them derogatory names – the same sort of thing as last time. And, of course, you’re encouraged to enjoy yourselves fully and have a cheeky wank while watching them. As long as you keep your hands to yourself. Um, what else,” Ben paused as he watched you re-join Lucy in the middle of the circle, “There is lube, if you’d like to use it. And if you are going to cum, try to aim for the girls or at least the sheets and not our furniture or carpet. Of course you can also-”   You stopped listening as Lucy tugged you down to the floor, situating herself above you so she was straddling your waist. She grabbed your wrists as you reached out to touch her, pushing them over your head and pinning them against the floor as she leaned down to kiss you.   You couldn’t help but arch into her, Ben’s voice calling you a slut still ringing in your ears, as you tried to deepen the kiss. 

Ben had long stopped talking, all four of the guys completely focused on you and Lucy. You were vaguely aware of the sounds of them getting comfortable as Lucy let your wrists go. She sat up straighter and drew her dress over her head, revealing the matching bra and panties she wore.    “Came prepared?” you asked which just made her laugh.  “Now you,” she said, shuffling back so she could strip you too. You hadn’t put in as much effort with your underwear, not having expected to show it off for anyone other than Ben, but someone still let out a long low whistle of appreciation.  Lucy giggled as she resettled herself on your hips and leaned down to kiss you again, distracting you as her hand reached for the vibrator.   You jolted as she pressed it against your clothed clit, holding it there until you let out a soft hum of pleasure. And then, just as soon as it had started it stopped. Lucy sat up again and looked around at the entranced men, all of whom seemed to be a little dazed.   “Well c’mon boys. We wanna see your cocks.”   There was a sharp intake of breath and then you heard zips lowering as each of them complied with Lucy’s request.    She just grinned at you.  

You had enough time to glance around and see Ben in one chair, slowly stroking his semi-hard dick, before Lucy surprised you with the vibrator again. She held it against you, turning up the speed of the vibrations and using the tip to draw circles over your clit as you squirmed underneath her. Rocking forward Lucy let out her own soft hum of pleasure as she rubbed herself against the vibrator too.  From somewhere above you came a soft groan from one of the boys, though it was hard to tell who exactly when Lucy was once again adjusting the speed of the toy. She turned it up a notch, the buzzing getting louder as the speed increased, and held it firmly in place. Her other hand rested against your thigh so her back was arched slightly as she rocked against the toy, both of you keening and moaning softly as it drew you towards the edge.   You came first, mouth falling open as you shuddered with the orgasm, but Lucy kept the vibrator in place until she’d reached her peak too. She didn’t take much longer than you did but it was long enough to have you whining as the pleasure teetered on the edge of pain. You felt nearly breathless as she shut it off and put it aside.  

Looking up at your captive audience, Lucy asked, “What would you fellers like to see me do to the slut next?”  It was quiet for a bit. You waited, still trying to catch your breath, to see if anyone would comment on your fate.  After a moment Joe spoke up, “I think you shouldn’t throw stones in glass houses Luce. You’re as much of a slut as Y/N.”  Lucy laughed, “Fair point. So then what would you like to watch two sluts do?”  Joe didn’t even pause, “I think you should 69.”  “That does sound fun,” Lucy said, already reaching for your knickers, “Someone unclasp my bra for me?”  You let her work your underpants down your legs, watching as Joe happily stood up to help Lucy with her bra. She shucked it off and stood to remove her panties which gave you time to rid yourself of your own bra, leaving you both naked.   The next thing you knew as you settled back against the pillow, was Lucy lowering herself over your lips and the salty sweet tang on your tongue as you licked along her wet slit.   She hummed in response, and rocked against you, cooing about how good you were and how you were going to make her cum again, encouraging you to delve deeper and taste more of her.   “I said 69 Luce,” Came Joe’s voice and then she lowered her head to your pussy too, her breath warm as she lightly licked along your lips. 

Knowing that there were so many eyes on you was definitely a turn on, especially when you could hear the boys. They made comments about you and Lucy, calling you good sluts for keeping them entertained, grunting about how hot it was to watch as they stroked themselves. And then there was the sound of their strokes too, hands on skin, occasionally assisted by the wet of lube or spit. You could hear their hisses and hitched breaths mixed in with Lucy’s own sounds as she spread your lips with her fingers and lapped up your juices. The only problem was that Lucy’s ministrations were too light. Her tongue and lips felt nice as she traced them along your slit and flicked against your clit, but you wished she’d be a little firmer or faster. To compensate, or maybe in an attempt to demonstrate what you wanted, you sucked harder, pressed your tongue more firmly to her cunt. Which just made her climax sooner. She moaned when she hit her release, still bent over you but breaking contact so you were left wishing she’d just keep going.   She rode out her orgasm on your face and then sighed with satisfaction as she crawled off you.  “Lucy,” you pouted, wiping your mouth, “I didn’t finish.”  She clicked her tongue and mockingly pouted back as she knelt between your legs, “Boo hoo.” Her fingers lightly traced along your lower stomach, making you shiver, “You already came once, isn’t that enough.”  “I’d prefer more.”  She let her hand trail lower, down to your clit, “Hmm, my mistake.”  And then all of a sudden she was pressing two of her fingers into you, making you gasp. With her free hand she spread your lips open, offering the others a clear view of her fingers disappearing into your hole, all the while teasing you for being so wet and so desperate for more.  You moaned as she adjusted her pace, speeding up, fucking you hard and fast with her two digits, but it wasn’t enough to get you close to orgasm.   “Please,” you whined after a little while, but Lucy only laughed, continuing to finger you in the same way for a few more strokes before suddenly pulling out.  

Before you could so much as open your mouth to swear, Lucy was pushing something new into you.  Your voice cracked with your moan as she turned the egg on, the vibrations hitting all the spots Lucy hadn’t hit before. You were aware of Lucy kneeling over you as you writhed on the floor, unable to escape the constant stimulation. But, as you drew closer to the edge, it became harder and harder to take in what was happening around you. You were vaguely aware of one of the boys groaning but otherwise you were completely oblivious to the rest of the group, entirely consumed by your cunt and the release you’d so craved washing over you. Even when Gwil stood up aimed his cock at you, rapidly jerking himself until his semen painted your stomach, you barely had any clue it was happening. No one had stopped the egg, no one had slowed it. You gasped Lucy’s name, trying to tell her it was becoming too much but she didn’t answer. It wasn’t her fault though. You were too distracted to notice that Joe had gripped Lucy’s hair and pulled her around to face him. As you clutched at the sheets and wailed to god, Joe was groaning through his own orgasm, one hand holding Lucy in place so that not a drop missed her face. You only became aware that Lucy no longer had the controls when Ben shoved her down and told her to suck on your tits. Whoever had taken the controller from her, or picked it up when she dropped it, was kind enough to slow the vibrations to a less consistent pattern but they didn’t turn it off. Instead you experienced brief moments of piece between the harsh seconds of high intensity vibrations. And on top of that your nipple was enveloped by the warm wet of Lucy’s mouth. Joe’s cum spread from her cheeks and lips to your skin as she mouthed and kissed at every inch of your breasts. It must have made for a nice show because before long Ben was splattering his seed over Lucy’s back as Rami sprayed cum over your neck and into your mouth as you opened it to scream through another orgasm.  

When the egg did stop, you were panting for air. Lucy was on her knees again, facing away from you and giggling as she drew her fingers across her cheek and licked them clean, clearly putting on a show for the boys.   “You guys really must like seeing us be so slutty,” she laughed and you saw Ben and Gwil nod in unison. Gwil was already hard again, slowly stroking himself once more though Ben clearly needed some more time to recover. Sitting up, you glanced around and saw Rami watching you as Joe examined the controls of the egg. An idea had already formed as to how to get some revenge upon Lucy and so you held your finger to your lips before either Rami or Joe could give you away. Joe winked and Rami broke into a smile as you reached out for the discarded vibrator and quietly shuffled towards Lucy, her back still marked with Ben’s cum. Of course, both Ben and Gwil spotted you creeping up but they held their silence, Gwil telling Lucy to open her legs a little wider as if it would help get him off again. She obliged, her focus entirely on his weeping cock as she absentmindedly touched her pussy.   “I know I’m not allowed to touch you,” Gwil said, “but I think it would be alright if you helped me out, don’t you?”  “I suppose that would be okay,” Lucy said, hesitating for half a second before drawing her wet hand away from herself and reaching up to grasp Gwil’s cock.   It gave you the perfect opportunity to close the distance between you and to press the tip of the vibrator against her hole,quickly pushing it in as you turned it on. It didn’t come up against much resistance, wet as she was.   “What the f-oh!” She gasped as you thrust the buzzing toy in and out of her, adjusting the angle until her legs tensed and she moaned. And then you held it there as she dropped her hand and tried to bat you away. You tutted in her ear and told her you were just repaying her for what she’d done to you, beginning to properly fuck her with the toy, keeping it angled to hit whatever spot you’d located that she clearly enjoyed. The sight of you pumping the vibrator into Lucy’s pussy as you reached around to palm at her breasts obviously worked for Ben, his cock getting stiffer before your eyes. You heard Joe and Rami move towards you as well, though you couldn’t see how eagerly they watched as Lucy cried out and came.  You felt very pleased with yourself for about a second before the egg jolted to life inside you again and you matched Lucy’s cry with your own, your hand slipping from the end of the vibrator. It stayed inside Lucy for a little longer, her cunt clenching so hard that it kept the toy in place, but before long it had slipped from her, still buzzing where it lay on the sheets.  Joe still held the controls for the egg and adjusted them constantly, making the egg buzz higher and lower and stop and start so that you were barely feeling it beyond brief bursts of pain tinged pleasure.  “Fuck that was hot,” Gwil grunted, his thumb spreading precum over his tip and down his length, “Both of you sluts looks at me.”  You dragged your eyes up to his cock, watching how his fist sped up as he got closer and closer and then finally came again, making sure to hit you and Lucy’s chests. 

There was a cheer as you felt yourself be manhandled into facing Lucy. She winked at you and bent forward to lick the cum from your tits, keeping it on her tongue so that when she kissed you, you could taste it. It mingled with her saliva and yours, streaked over your lips as Lucy deepened the kiss, making sure her tongue met yours so she could share every drop. What sperm had newly been spread over Lucy’s chest soon smeared across yours as she pulled your in close, your nipples brushing as you got drunk on her kiss. You were still feeling buzzes from the egg inside you though you doubted Joe still had the controller since the pattern was no longer as random. However, Lucy had no toy shoved inside her cunt to keep her on edge. Instead she manoeuvred so that her pussy pressed against your thigh, leaving a wet trail where she dragged it over your skin.   You automatically lay a hand on Lucy’s back to hold you steady, inadvertently spreading the cum that had been left over her.   That did it for Ben who grunted as he dripped more cum over you and Lucy as you made out.  “Go on Luce, pin the whore and grind your cunts together.” Rami suggested, clearly enjoying seeing his girlfriend on top of someone else.   She didn’t need to be asked twice, gladly pressing you to the sheet again and climbing on top.   All you could do was whine at the inconsistent vibrations within you, looking up as Lucy pressed her pussy against yours, their slick mixing as she gyrated her hips. And then you felt it. Lucy had reached for the still on vibrator that had fallen from her. She pressed it between you and at the same moment, whoever now held the controller for the egg vibrator turned it up so that you felt the buzzing from inside and out. You screamed at the combination of sensations, pinned under Lucy and unable to escape.   Lucy was moaning too, getting off on you. And you felt a sticky kind of wetness as Rami’s orgasm landed on your mound. Lucy used her fingers to spread it across her pussy and then continued to grind against you, the white of his release adding to the creamy wetness that already existed from both your cunts.   You were the next to cum, unable to hold off as the egg got louder and faster. And then Joe who didn’t seem too fussed about aiming for either of you. His cum spilt onto the sheets around you but neither of you noticed. You were too busy whining as you once again became overstimulated and Lucy was entirely distracted by her quest for a final orgasm. By the time she reached it you were nearly crying, but thankfully she shook with her well earned climax and then slipped from you to lay on the floor.  

Ben had already zipped himself away and was quick to catch the vibrator and turn it off as whoever had the controls mercifully switched yours off as well.  You hissed when you tried to move, the egg still rubbing the sensitive spot but Ben hushed you and gently removed it from your pulsing pussy.   “Joe, Gwil. D’you guys want to get everyone some water?” He asked, though it wasn’t really a question.  They agreed and you heard their footsteps disappear through the doorway. Once they’d gone, Rami helped Lucy up as Ben helped you, leaning in to kiss your forehead softly.  “Are you both okay?” Rami asked, concern written in his features.  Lucy said yes as you nodded and, satisfied, they assisted you towards the bathroom, letting you each lean against them as you walked slowly.  Ben tried to insist on helping you clean up but you told him it was fine and shut the door so that you and Lucy could run some warm water and clear away the evidence of your debauchery.   Lucy laughed, seeming less worn by the second, as you scrubbed her back clean with a flannel, “That was a lot of fun.”  “Yeah it was. Really glad you suggested it.”  “Good. I was a little worried you wouldn't go for it after last time.”  “Are you kidding? Me and Ben were both kind of wondering if anyone would want to do something like that again. But we didn’t want to just ask for it in case it seemed like that was the only reason we’d want to hang out.”  “Think it’s safe to say everyone would be on board if you ever suggested a dinner party again.”  You laughed too, “Yeah, I think you’re right. 

Rami knocked on the door as you were washing yourselves so he could return your clothes to you and by the time you were both redressed the living room was almost back to normal. The chairs were still rearranged but no one seemed too bothered by it. When the boys realised you and Lucy were coming back, a round of applause broke out. You laughed, a little embarrassed, but gave a bow as if you were completing a performance, Lucy joining in beside you. She made her way to the couch where Rami sat, curling up and laying her head in his lap as she finally relaxed. You found Ben, sure you weren’t going to have the same emotional reaction you’d had to the events of the dinner party but wanting to be near him just in case. He was in an arm chair so you climbed onto his lap, resting your head on his chest as he wrapped his arm around you.   You felt tired and a little sore but very very satisfied and your heart was nearly bursting with how lucky you were to know such a wonderful group of people.   Ben’s hand was warm and heavy where it rested on your side but you didn’t mind. It was comforting. As was the gentle rumble of his chest as he spoke, laughing with Joe about something as if there hadn’t been an interruption 

Taglist: @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini

[blueluneacy]

Soaps and Special Drinks

I wrote a giant melone x reader off a fantasy i had at work. enjoy

word count: 4k

warnings: delusional yandere, not sfw, breeding kink, stalking, public sex, aphrodisiacs, forced drugging, major dub con, does making someone uncomfy at work count? idk but its there

You didn’t hear her until she called your name for the third time, and when you did, you nearly fell over.

“Oh god, what happened, what did I miss, I wasn’t asleep, my eyes were open!” You yelled, leaving your manager to jump.

“(Y/n), it’s okay, don’t worry!’ She said, laughing a bit to herself. “Don’t worry, I was just going to ask about what was happening and if you needed anything. But it looks like nothing is happening.” She sighed. You nodded, looking around the shop. You worked at a small, handmade soap. The soaps in here were beautiful, but the shop itself was quiet, only getting a few customers. The bulk of sales ended up being online at the owner’s etsy shop, with the actual building simply being in their family for the last 300 years, making it hard to part with. You didn’t mind, the soap was nice, you often got to take some of it home, and the work was easy. But you couldn’t deny that god, it was really god damn boring. 

“Yeah, I’m alright. Sorry, I’m just… Really bored.” You laughed, your manager just sighing.

“I can take the front of shop for a bit and you can play on your phone or something. You don’t have to just stand there all day.”

“I don’t mind it. Gives me time to think. Besides, I see you playing on your phone in front of shop all the time, I know that I can do it right here if I wanted to.” You hummed, your manager just rolling her eyes.

“I put it away when a customer shows up, don’t you worry. And what is it that you’re always thinking about, huh? A boyfriend?” She teased. You rolled your eyes.

“You know that I don’t have anyone like that in my life. I end up thinking about stupid stuff. Like what would happen if cows became four feet taller, or something.” You told her. It was a lie, of course, but you could never admit what actually went through your mind.

After all, how could you admit that you were just sitting there thinking about otome games and anime characters? It was nice to sit and think about lots of handsome men loving you. Maybe you played too many video games or watched too much anime.

“Alright, alright. Keep sitting with your weird thoughts.” She teased, the two of you laughing before the bell at the door rang as it swung open. 

The two of you stared as you saw the man walk in. He was so strangely dressed, and he was wearing a mask. Is this some sort of bad Dread Pirate Roberts cosplay? Half of his shirt was missing, which you sort of wanted to chalk up to bad sewing, but you also knew that it merely could be bad fashion. People around here are weird looking. He had choppy purple hair that covered one of his eyes, making you think that maybe the whole mask thing was meant to be an eye patch more than anything. You weren’t an expert in eyeball health. Still, you smiled brightly at the customer, not wanting to offend as you walked over to him, ready to assist in any way possible.

“Hello, Welcome! Is there anything in particular that you were looking for today?” You asked, Melone looking over at you before his eyes widened. God, you were just so… So god damn cute! The apron you were wearing hugged your curves so well, your body was so cute in the way you held yourself, smiling as you looked up at the man. He could just notice your tummy under the apron, a shudder going through his body as he saw your bright, smiling demeanor looking up at him.

“Oh, I heard that there were handmade facial products here? I’m looking for something a little more natural in my skin care routine.”  He replied, looking down to see your little name tag, smiling as he got the information. “Ah, I suppose then you could help me, (Y/n)?”

You forced your grin a little wider when he said your name, before nodding, waving him over and you brought him over to a little corner of the store. You don’t know why, but it seemed to only make you uncomfortable when people did things like read off your name tag. Which seems silly, after all, it was there for a reason, but still.

“Of course, sir, let me show you. Are you looking for something like a cleanser? We also have exfoliate scrubs, made all in house.” You told him. Melone just hummed, leaning over the products and moving a bit too much into your personal space as he pulled off his gloves. 

“You can call me Melone, sweetheart, no need for the formalities. And do any of these have scents in their formulas? I would hate to break out from oils…” He asked, touching his face lightly. You just smiled, shaking your head. You took note of his name, trying to keep yourself smiling

“Any scents that the product has is from the actual parts, not from anything we add. Like, our coffee ground scrub smells like coffee, because you know. We also have some regular facial soap, all in bar form, that we have, if you’d like to see. I can also make some samples for you, and we have a sink where you can try out some of the testers we have out.” You told him. He just smiled, nodding as he looked around a bit.

“That’s all well and good, but what would you recommend before bed? I need to remove my makeup, and so many cleansers are for the morning.” He complained. You just smiled, looking around and grabbing the giant pot of what you were looking for.

“Here we go! This stuff kills at removing any makeup. It’s made with shea butter, honey and rose water, with a little bit of tea tree oil in there for that calming feeling.” You said, reaching in and using a little spoon to put some on one of the little dishes your store carried, and then handed it to him. “Go on, go to the sink and check it out! You should also really check out our poppy soap too, it has poppy seeds in it which honestly? My skin has never been better.” You chuckled. Melone looked at you, before smiling and nodding. If that soap was what gave you such a glow, then he would definitely have to try it. You sighed as you went back to the counter next to your manager, watching the man as he washed his hands, his eyes widening before he grabbed one of the little papers you had next to the table, and a pen. Since everything here was served in whatever amount the customer wanted, the shop kept papers for customers to make a list of what they wanted.

“What is it now, daydreaming about a customer?” Your manager teased, leaving you to roll your eyes.

“Do you want him instead? He was all in my personal space.” You replied.

“Oh, cheer up, he wasn’t that bad. A little weird, but harmless. And you really need to get used to the idea that Italians don’t have a notion of personal space. You practically lost it when that old lady grabbed your hand.” 

“Hey, that was a while ago, that’s not fair! I think I’m used to it now, he’s just sort of creepy. Melone…” You mumbled his name to yourself, Melone’s ears perking up as heard you speak about him. Oh, your name sounded so good rolling off your tongue. He wanted to hear it over and over again, make you make the sound, scream it, moan it-

“I think I have my list ready, cara. Care to help me out?” Melone asked, coming over to the counter and leaning over it, handing the list over to you. You just took it from his hands, looking over the list before sighing.

“Can you get the bar soap while I get the cleanser?” You asked, writing down what you needed in the liquid before handing out the rest of the list to her. She nodded, walking off with a small smile on her face before you just sighed, going to get the cleanser. You grabbed one of the small glass jars you had, before putting it on the scale, taring it out after placing down the glass. 

“Five hundred grams, right?” You asked, only for Melone to nod. 

“Yes. It’s heavier, so it’ll be less than what I assume it’s going to be, so I might as well just go for it. I’ll use it anyway.” He replied, watching the way you reached into the pot and carefully scooped out the cleanser. You were so focused, he couldn’t help but imagine what you would look like in a domestic situation, maybe using a serving spoon to scoop out sauce for dinner, maybe just for the two of them. Maybe you would be in a cute little apron like the one you were in now, your feet bare and your hair loose as you grew heavy with his child-

In that moment, Melone felt a plan start to form in his mind.

The rest of the transaction went fine, in all honesty. Melone seemed as though he was suddenly in a hurry, that he forgot that he had something to do, purchasing his items and leaving with a quick “Ciao!”. You could tell that he was speed walking down the street, but you didn’t really care. Maybe you were over exaggerating, and he was just some normal gy, albeit oddly dressed. Still, it didn’t really matter to you. The fact that the store was empty meant that you could go back to your daydreams.

You were so grateful when the store finally closed. As the two of you locked up, you pulled your coat closer to your body, looking around.

“You should be careful now going home. It’s dark a lot earlier now, I’m afraid that maybe there might be some bad actors in the alleyways…” Your manager sighed. You nodded in agreement, the thoughts of how dangerous this city was becoming as Passione moved themselves in running through the both of your minds. Your manager had talked about moving, not wanting her kids to grow up here, and you couldn’t blame her. But both of you knew deep down that no matter where you went, the mafia probably lurked there somewhere.

“I will, don’t fret. Text you when I get home?” You asked, giving her a smile. She just smiled back and nodded.

“Don’t zone out and forget, alright? I’ll text you when I’m home as well!” She said, before waving, the two of you walking off in separate directions.

You hummed slightly to yourself as you walked down the street. You made sure to stay close to the streetlight, but you could swear that you could see something out of the corner of your eye, the feeling of being watched harsh in your stomach. You turned around often just to check, but no one was there. You must really be losing it today.

Still, it was like you were attracted to what was unknown. You instinctively started to move farther away from the streetlight, to try and see what exactly was going on in the shadows, but nothing was there. You barely even noticed how far you were in the dark until you passed by an alleyway. You didn’t even see the hand that shot out and grabbed onto your collar.

You immediately tried to scream, but you could barely make a sound as lips crashed into yours, your body pressed up against the wall as you squirmed. You winced as your head slammed against the wall, your vision tripling and a groan leaving your mouth and easily swallowed up by Melone. He pulled away, taking deep, harsh breaths, watching as you tried to focus on him.

“Don’t worry cara, it’s only me, didn’t mean to scare you, wanted to surprise you on your way home…” He cooed, pinning your hands above your head and moving to let his lips press against your neck, leaving light kisses and he hummed.

“Wha… Y.. You’re that guy from the soap shop! What are you doing, let me go!” You yelled, starting to squirm. Melone just pouted, as if you had told him a bad insult or you had genuinely hurt his feelings.

“Ah, don’t be like that, bambina. Are you mad because I embarrassed you at work? It’s alright, I’ll make it all better.” He hummed, reaching into his pocket to pull out a small vile. He used his teeth to pull out the cork, before letting a drop hit his tongue.

“Yep, it’s still good. Go on, drink this all down, and you’ll feel much better, carina.” He told you. 

“Like hell I’m going to drink anything you give me-” Perhaps you shouldn’t have spoken. When you opened your mouth and started to yell at him again, he just shoved the vial into your mouth, pouring the liquid in before covering your mouth with his hand.

“It’s alright, I know it tastes awful, but you have to drink it all, amore, otherwise it won’t work.” Melone hummed. You just sat there, holding the foul tasting liquid in your mouth before finally caving and swallowing. It wasn’t like you had much of a choice. When Melone felt that you had swallowed, he pulled his hand away, leaning over and pressing a gentle kiss against your forehead.

“Di molto… Good, thank you. It means a lot to me that would trust me like that.” Like you had any other fucking choice. You just let your eyes narrow as you continued to let them dart around for some sort of escape.

“What exactly did you fucking give me?” You hissed, Melone laughing a bit.

“Well, I suppose you’ll feel it momentarily, won’t you? Liquid medication only takes one to four minutes to assimilate…” He hummed. You swallowed, feeling that your mouth was starting to feel really dry. It felt like everything was getting hotter, until your whole body was on fire. You let out a soft whine when you finally opened your mouth to let out a few pants, suddenly out of breath, before squirming again. This time, to try and get rid of the heat that was engulfing you. 

“W-What is this?! Please, it’s so hot, what did you do?!” You cried out, internally cringing at how desperate your voice sounded. But Melone just ate it all up, leaning in to press his body against yours, the outline of his cock making you shudder. God, think, what was happening to you?!

“It’s one of the best aphrodisiacs out there. Only the best for you, bella, I want to make sure that you feel amazing throughout all of this…” He told you, before pressing his lips against yours. You tried to struggle, but god, you were feeling so weak as the drug coursed through your veins, and Melone’s lips felt so good against yours. You felt your knees get weak, your body slipping down the wall that you were leaning against as it became harder and harder for you to support your own weight. Melone just pulled away, watching you sink to the ground as if weighed down by your own lust, smirking to himself. You were so beautiful like that. Melone could see the way you were tugging at your clothing, trying to get them off in some relief from the hell that consumed you. He just chuckled, pulling you up and making you lean on him. You just ended up grabbing onto Melone tightly, trying to take deep breaths.

“Don’t worry bambina. I bet it hurts bad right now, doesn’t it? Maybe I should’ve opened you up first…” Melone thought aloud, before shrugging. Too late now. He reached down to start to pull your panties off, the other arm wrapped around you and firmly holding you against him. He shuddered at the way your soft body pressed up against him, holding onto him like it was the end of the world.

“Don’t worry, (Y/n). I’ll make this heat go away, make you feel all better. You’ll feel perfect and well once you’re fucked full of my children.” He hummed. Despite yourself, you just nodded, desperate for a suggestion that would mean that you would feel better. 

Melone practically jumped in delight, easily pushing two fingers inside of you, relishing in how wet you had become, to the point where you were starting to slick your legs. You moaned, gripping onto Melone tightly and starting to whine shrilling, babbling back at him.

“O-Oh fuck, that feels so good, fuck, please, Melone, pleeeeease…” You whined, already trying to buck against his fingers. It felt so good, but it wasn’t enough, it just wasn’t enough to satisfy you, to make you feel whole again.

“You’re tempting me so much, bambina. You make me want to fuck you right now, god, you’re going to be so full when I’m done with you, my cute little wife.” He told you as he added another finger, scissoring you open. God, if you could hold yourself up, Melone would have no problem getting on his knees and eating you out until you came all over his face. He wondered what cute, fucked out faces you would make after cumming five, ten, a hundred times for him. He felt his cock twitch in his trousers and did his best not to get ahead of himself. He wanted to make sure that you felt just as good as he did, but god, you were making it so hard with those cute faces of yours! The way you were clinging to him, gasping and moaning like a bitch in heat, begging him for more, it was all so much.

“P-Please, fuck, more… It’s still so hot, please, need you so bad…” You mumbled, moving to rest your head against his shoulder as he thrust his fingers into you. He let out a low moan at your words, his hips slightly bucking against you for it. He was so pent up, not wanting to waste a single drop until he found the perfect person to fill up with it, and here you were, all perfect and begging him to breed you full of his children.

“Aww, poor thing. Perhaps I gave you a bit too much…” Melone sighed, pulling his fingers out of you and leaving you to whine in frustration. He pushed his fingers into his mouth and just moaned, shuddering as he tasted your juices. You grabbed onto him tighter, begging for some sort of relief from this hell. When Melone finally pulled his fingers from his mouth, he let his own lips crash against yours, pushing your back against the wall and pressing your chest against his to hold you up while his hands moved to rip his cock out from his trousers.

It was nice, bigger than you expected, and you could see that Melone was well groomed about himself as well. In any normal circumstance, you would be continuing to scream, but as Melone started to rub his cock against you, slicking himself up with your juices, you just moaned.

“Yes, fuck yes! Please, more, give me more, god, fuck me already!” You cried out, squirming and trying to make Melone’s cock catch to try on your entrance. Melone just groaned, moving a hand to grab your hip, before pushing into you slowly. He threw his head back as he moaned, his nails digging into you as he started to move, only pulling his cock out half way before slamming back, leaving you to whine in return.

“Oh, cara, you’re so tight, fuuuuck… You’re so perfect, fuck, my pretty little wife, gonna be such a great mother, fill you up and keep you full of my babies-” Melone groaned, leaning forward and leaning on your shoulder, babbling his nonsense into your ear. And you just ate it all up, nodding and wrapping your arms around him and digging into his back, whining.

“Fuck, yes, please… Feels so good, please, Melone, pleeease…” You whined, holding onto him tightly as you tried to grind against him. Your words were enough to really spring Melone into action, starting to pound against you wildly, mouthing as your neck and leaving harsh bruises. You just scratched at him in return, leaving red welts that might even turn into bruises tomorrow. Melone groaned at the idea of you marking him so primally, the feeling of you marking him as yours just as he was marking you as his. 

“God, you’re all mine, aren’t you? Love you so much, (Y/n), gonna keep you safe, warm, all mine, I’m yours just as much as you’re mine, fuck-” His teeth dug into his lip as he felt the way you were clenching down on him, the signal that your orgasm was fast approaching. Really, it was a miracle that you haven’t cum once or twice already, but perhaps it was something in the back of your mind that was holding you back, keeping you from finishing.

“Mmm, I can feel you’re close… Di molto, that’s perfect, do you want to cum while I breed you? It’ll be a great way to make sure it goes as far as it can.” Melone groaned into your ear, his voice sultry and husky in a way that filled your foggy head with static, only pulling Melone closer as you tried to chase your own orgasm.

“Yes, yes please, fuck, it’s too much, I’m gonna cum, please let me cum, please-” You mewled, on the verge of tears from how pent up you felt, grabbing onto Melone as if he would disappear if you let go.

“Fuck, good, then cum, cum on my cock, make me breed you, gonna fill you up so much, so perfect and soft and round, do it, cum for me, God-!” His voice was practically as a howl as his movements became jerky, before finally thrusting in and bottoming out inside of you, finally cumming. It was the feeling of him pushing inside of you that one last time that set you over the edge, a loud keen coming from you as you squeezed down on Melone, starting to milk him for all you could. 

The two of you rode at your orgasms together, quiet panting and whimpers from the both of you as Melone finally pulled out of you. You practically collapsed as he let you go, free from the burning heat but now exhausted beyond all belief. Melone caught you, holding you up with his arms and chuckling a bit. You shuddered as you felt some of Melone’s seed drip down your leg, leaving Melone just to purse his lips.

“We shouldn’t be wasteful like that. I should’ve brought a plug, poor thing…” He sighed, reaching down to scoop up what fell and push it back inside of you. You moaned at the sensation, giving him a look to let him know that you were much too sensitive right now. He just laughed at your expression, before easily scooping you up in his arms.

“Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter. We have all the time in the world once we get home.” Melone hummed. You stared at him incredulously, trying to figure out what the fuck he meant. You started to squirm a bit, but you were much too exhausted to really put in an effort to get away from him.

“Hmm? Well, of course I’m going to bring my wife home.” Melone hummed, petting your hair lightly. Your face went pale at the realization, but there was nothing you could do. Even if you could get out of his arms, you were too weak to run away away from him. You were stuck, hopelessly trapped with a madman, forced to listen to his deranged cooing as he made his declaration.

“We have a lot more work to be done if we’re going to make you a mother.”

[slasherfilth]

You Are What You Eat – Chapter Three (Thomas Hewitt x Reader)

Luda Mae was a simple woman. She wanted simple things. Food on her table. A nice cup of tea with (y/n) every now and again. And for her baby boy to be happy. And she had quickly come to the desertion that two of those simple needs were far more entwined than she had first anticipated.  The day she had sent Thomas to the bakery had been a blessing in ways she hadn't fathomed before. Tommy had come home with the basket of goodies and a difference in his demeanour. He was never an angry man, but he did have an air of annoyance around him every time he was sent out to the shops. She didn't blame him of course and made sure to only send him when she had no other choice. She knew how people treated her boy. She would get weird looks, but with her own quick wit, people were quick to shut their mouths around her, she made sure of it. But Thomas was different. Thomas genuinely didn't want to hurt people physically, it would only cause more issues. And the second issue is that he couldn't verbally do it, like Luda Mae. So, he had to deal with very verbal threats and ridicule against himself. Despite being a very large man, people had learnt that he wouldn't retaliate and their awful behaviours grew bolder and bolder.

That being said, whenever he did return from town, he would generally be in quite a foul mood. One he would rid himself of in the basement alone, working. Because Holt never did appreciate a moody Thomas. However, today was different. She had been expecting him to be short, give her the basket with a huff and make a beeline for his work. But he didn't. Instead, he walked into the house at a leisurely pace. Holding a cookie in his hand while he gazed ahead, lost in his own thoughts. It wasn't an odd thing for Thomas to do, with nothing to say one would imagine you would spend quite some time in your own head. But Luda couldn't fathom what had brought on such a difference to his usual arrive-from-town demeanour. Maybe someone had said something that really affected him? But he wasn't angry or even frustrated. He was his usual calm self, perhaps even gentler than usual as he rested the basket on the counter, nodding in her direction absentmindedly.

"Thank you Darlin', did you meet (y/n)? Lovely girl, ain't she?" Luda watched on curiously as Thomas nodded, more enthusiastic than she was anticipating. Usually, she would receive a shrug as he never really cared too much for other people outside the family, they would usually make a comment about him or something, and Thomas had just learnt to ignore everyone. So this was more than a little surprising, but she couldn't help the grin that stretched from ear to ear.

"Yeah, she's a real sweet thing, that one. No family left though; the poor girl is probably lonely over in that big house by herself." Luda's keen eyes taking in every furrow and huff that Thomas made, his interest clearly displayed as he stayed and listened to her, his head tilting at her words. She felt like dancing inside.

"Maybe you could go over and keep her company. She keeps saying that big house feels lonely all the time. She also mentioned needing a few things fixed around the place. I'll tell her you can help." Luda shooed him away with her hands, appearing lost in thought as she began to unpack the basket. Thomas left immediately, but she could see he was still partly in a daze. Oh, her little boy was growing up! She hadn't seen Thomas react to anyone in a blatantly positive way since he was a child. Oh, how she would milk this. Maybe she would finally be able to cross off another dying wish of hers. Grandchildren!

-X-X-

You had been so busy with the bakery lately you barely felt like you had time for yourself or your thoughts. But ever time you did seem to get lost in your own mind, it would always travel back to Luda's son. God, you had been stupid to think that he was a teenager or something. You tried to convince yourself it was because you were unprepared for the very masculine man that walked into your shop. That was the reason you couldn't get him out of your head. Yes. You were just shocked. Sighing, you continued to make the new pie recipe with chicken meat. All the alternative meats you tried were okay, but they just weren't exactly what you were hoping for.

You just wanted a well-cut, well-fed red piece of meat for your pies. You didn't need very much with all the extra gravies and sauces, but it annoyed you that you couldn't find any, anywhere in town. The only place that stocked some red meat was the little store at the end of the road, and it was ridiculously overpriced for the pathetic amount you received, and it was god awful. Full of fat and grainy in texture. You wondered where he even managed to get something so terrible. You sighed and wondered if it would be worth perusing Luda Mae. Thomas was a butcher, wasn't he? Indeed, he would be working with red meat? And as if hearing her name filter through your head, you listened to a jingle of the shop bells. You looked up to see one of your favourite visitors standing in the doorway with a fresh basket of goodies.

"Darling! It's been far too long. I'm sorry I wasn't able to come out sooner, busy with the farm and all. Charlie can be a real slave driver when he's not busy boozing." You giggled as the lady rolled her eyes and took a seat in her usual spot. You absentmindedly began making her regular order and grabbing today's cake special.

"That’s okay! I understand I’ve been quite busy myself. I’ve been trying to find a nice meat pie with alternative meats, but it just isn’t what I want it to be sadly. A bakery without meat pies. I’m a fraud.” You sighed dramatically as you began to walk towards Luda with your drinks and plates. Setting them down, you took a seat with her, admiring her new basket. Oddly enough, you noticed a few drops of blood on the handtowel that covered the ingredients. You shrugged it off. It happens sometimes. Especially on farms, you would know.

“Ah, don’t beat yourself up. Everyone has the same issue here. I’m sure you will find something. Besides, you have a wonderful collection of desserts the town dies for. I’ve seen all those empty cabinets when I walk in.” Luda winked at you, and you flush mumbling to yourself.

“I’m just glad people like them at all.” You laugh half joking and half serious as you move for the food in front of you. Luda stops sipping her drink for a moment and nods, pushing the gift towards you more.

“Oh, yes, yes. Go ahead, dear. It’s not much, but I made a few things I knew you would like and also left a few recipes in the bottom for you.” You smiled wide; you really did love her recipes. They were so homely it reminded you of your mother on rougher nights when everything felt too much and too big for you. It was comforting. Although you assumed everything about Luda was motherly and comforting. Grabbing the basket, you pulled up the towel and smiled as you first saw the bouquet of flowers, you quickly grabbed them and got up to put them in a vase, to place front and centre in your bakery.

“I assume the gardening had been going well then, Luda? These are beautiful! And smell absolutely lovely. I don’t know how you do it in this heat. All mine would wither up and die.” You finished arranging the flowers to your liking as you heard the older woman chuckled.

Time and patients, my dear. And lots of water. Thomas goes and fetches me water form the lake almost every mornin’ for my flowers.” You flushed as you were once again reminded about the man that barely left your mind lately. And oh god, you had forgotten about all the little deeds he did for his mothers to make her happy. You were doomed. However, you kept walking back to your seat, unaware if Luda had noticed your sudden silence.

“That reminds me, Thomas came back in a mighty fine mood yesterday, which is different than he usually does when returning from town. Given his looks and all. Would you happen to know anything?” You froze for a moment, thinking back to yesterday—your surprise and anger at how people treated him and his mother so openly. God, you were still confused. Thomas looked like he could break your neck with one hand and yet people were so casually rude to him. You would be terrified to do that to someone so intimidating.

“A-Ah, yes. He -um- had a bit of a run-in with the locals…” You looked down, saddened that you were unaware of what would happen when he arrived. You wish you had stepped in sooner. “Some people in the bakery were saying some mighty rude things to him, but I shut them up with a warning. Ain’t no one gonna be rude to you guys in here, or they can find their asses on the curb.” You frowned and narrowed your eyes slightly.

“If anyone ever tries to tell me you aren’t a little angel, I’ll slap them upside the head, I tell ya.” You looked back to Luda, who was wearing her own little smile. You were confused. Wasn’t it wrong that people said things to Thomas? Luda laughed at your confusion.

“Thomas is quite used to the comments, but he’s not a violent man. He’ll just let it slide and come back in a huff of annoyance. But he was in a good mood yesterday. Not many people stand up for him. In fact, Charlie and I are probably the only ones who do. So, thank you (y/n). You’ve been nothing but an angel to our little family since you arrived.” You once again blushed a bright red. You began to wonder if you had any blood anywhere else in your body by this time. You mumbled out a thank you and continued to look through the basket. Not used to praise and certainly not accustomed to responding to it. Your finger grazed against something cold. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you wrapped your fingers around cold plastic. Usually, Luda would make you dry things so they wouldn’t go out of date quickly.

Looking down as you pulled out the packet, your eyebrows sudden disappeared into your hairline as you looked at the slightly bloody package of red meat. The packet was only so big, but it was more than enough meat to make at least a dozen small meat pies. You looked up at Luda questioningly. Wondering if maybe she had accidentally placed it in the wrong basket at home.

“Oh. Would you look at that? Thomas must have had some leftovers.” The way she said it was almost nonchalant, but you could see the surprise in her eyes too before it dissolved into happiness with a bright smile to match.

“Maybe, it’s a small thank you as well.” You hummed and turned back to the meat, deciding you would make a small batch of meat pies and give the Hewitts some to try as a thank you as well.

“Thank you so much, Ma’am. And be sure to tell Thomas thank you as well. Oh, you have no idea how happy this makes me. I’ll give you some pies to take home next time you come around! I’d love for you to try them and tell me what you think!” You excitedly stood up and made your way to the back, placing the meat straight into the cooler so it wouldn’t spoil. You moved back to Luda and gave her a big hug from behind, muttering your thanks a few more times.

“Oh, it’s nothing, dear. Like I said, you’ve been nothing but an angel to us. You deserve it. That being said, I did mention for Thomas to go visit your house at some point, you mentioned you wanted some help fixing the furniture and pipes, well Thomas is a bit of a handyman as well. And he seemed happy to come to help ya out.” You bit your lip and flushed a bright red before nodding. Oh god. Would you be able to handle the sight of him fixing things in your house? Using your tools? Maybe even shirtless since that’s how most men seem to fix things when it was this hot out. You tried to stop your cheeks for burning too brightly at the thoughts before shaking your head. No, bad (y/n). You only just met him, behave.

“T-That would be fantastic. He’s more than welcome to come at any time passed six.” Your breath out, hoping you don’t sound as stiff as you felt. You watched as Luda stood up and nodded.

“Alright, then I’ll send him over at six sharp tomorrow.” You could have sworn you seen a mischievous smirk curl on the older ladies’ lips. But you shook your head and gave her a hug before she left. Surely you just imagined it. She was just trying to be helpful is all. Yes. Helpful.

-X-X-

Hello! Sorry, this has taken a bit longer to be published. This chapter is a bit shorter as the next will be a bit more on the longer side and lots of you and Thomas getting close and friendly. And I can’t wait!

[missroserose]

Summertime Thing

Okay, so really I should be working on the first chapter of this (which I actually have a hard deadline for on the 18th, sorta—more on that later), but I promised @laveracevia and @redmyeyes and @notwhatiam (and also an anonymous Tumblr person) that I'd post the bullet point outline for my angsty wincesty teen Sam novel so here it is, all three-thousand-plus words of it. Still tentative and with a fair amount to fill in, but that's what makes it an outline. (Has anyone yet beatified the SPN showrunners for setting the bar for research so ridiculously low? Praise be unto them! 😂) So, without further ado:

• It’s the summer of 1999 and Sam is sixteen.

• They’re living in rural Arizona for the summer, in a little town in the Chiricahua Mountains called Bisbee that I definitely didn’t live in for three years.

• Bisbee’s a weird place. It used to be a wealthy mining town, but in the ‘70s the company pulled out and the economy crashed. Some of the residents are old mining families, some are old hippies and artists who moved there due to the picturesque scenery and bargain-basement real estate, some are early baby boomers looking for an inexpensive place to retire. There's a surprising amount of live music, an absolutely thriving conspiracy scene, and the local police blotter is a smorgasbord of weirdness.

⁃ John picked it because it’s the county seat (which means lots of local records) with cheap housing and residents who don’t ask too many questions. Dean loves it because it’s straight out of the a Western—several famous movies filmed on Main Street, and the theme-park-town of Tombstone is half an hour’s drive away. Sam hates it, but in fairness, Sam kind of hates everything right now.

• Sam’s getting regular beatdowns with the puberty bat—he’s growing what feels like an inch a week, his voice is randomly cracking, he’s ravenously hungry all the time, and his moods go from happy-go-lucky kid to moody teen to full-on young-adult angst on the turn of a dime.

• Most terrifying of all, his relationship with Dean is fracturing. Dean can tell he’s having a hard time of things, of course, and tries his best to cheer Sam up. Sometimes they get on great; other times, even being in the same room as Dean makes Sam feel like his skin is three sizes too small.

• The frustrating part is, no matter how much of a shit Sam is, Dean won't give up on him entirely, just gives him space for a day or two and then reaches out, like—“hey, come keep me company while I give the car an oil change,” or “hey, sounds like there’s a hell of a party going on up the gulch—let’s go sneak in, I bet they have booze, maybe we can get you laid,” or “hey, Dad said we can take the car, let’s drive to the new mall in the next town and go see a movie. Anything you want.”

⁃ Sam definitely picks Cruel Intentions, intending to make Dean sit through something he’d find boring, but it backfires—the incest subplot ends up making him even more uncomfortable and Dean, predictably, digs watching Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair make out onscreen.

• Dean is having the time of his life this summer. The town is picturesque, the bars don’t look too closely at his fake ID, Sam’s old enough to fend for himself mostly, and he even gets an evening gig as a bar back a few nights a week, which means he has a little cash. Sure, Sam’s been weirdly moodly lately, but it’s just puberty, it’ll pass.

• Sam, meanwhile, is on his own a lot, with John either out working, out drinking, or buried in his notes; he spends a lot of time walking down to the library over the post office, which is surprisingly extensive, but more importantly, air-conditioned. If he has a couple bucks he might go to the new coffee shop by the library and buy an iced tea for lunch.

• At some point when John’s gone, Dean brings home Tina, a local bartender. Weirdly, they don’t seem to be sleeping together, at least initially; mostly they just hang out, easy with each other in a way that makes Sam jealous.

⁃ Sam hates it when Dean brings home girls (for the obvious reason that he gets kicked out of the house, of course), but he actually hates it more when Tina starts hanging around regularly, all the more so because she’s always very sweet to him—but Dean’s into her and that means Dean’s attention is on someone other than him.

⁃ Tina keeps working on Sam, and eventually he confides in her—he hates their life, hates lying to people, hates the ceaseless travel and string of anonymous motel rooms and constant scrambling for cash, but Dean loves it and he loves Dean. She mentions having a sister that she has a complicated relationship with, too.

• One day John announces that they’re taking a day trip as a family together, and they drive up to the Portal-Paradise area, which is a sky island—a mountain forest surrounded by desert, surprisingly lush and peaceful, with stunning views from the peaks.

⁃ It’s also a fairly cursed place, with bullet-riddled “KNOWN HUMAN TRAFFICKING AREA” signs and a cluster of boarded-up hovels from the ghost town of Paradise that definitely don't look like a Bender compound waiting to happen

⁃ After they've wandered around a bit, taking in the gorgeous landscape and sheer relief of being amongst so much green after months in the desert, John has them all pile back into the car and takes them up to Sugarloaf Peak. As they're climbing the mountain, he mentions that the fire watch station at the peak is a great place to watch for {insert signs of supernatural phenomenon here}. Sam gets upset at that, accuses John of using their family time for hunting. Dean points out (quite reasonably) that their family time has always been hunting together. John goes into Marine mode and shuts down the conversation, Sam grumbles something about "just because it's always been that way doesn't make it right," and goes into a sulk.

⁃ As he's sulk-climbing up the peak, Sam becomes convinced at one point that he hears running water. John tells him that’s unlikely before monsoons start, and to keep climbing. Sam keeps hearing it, though, and asks Dean whether he hears it; Dean listens, but doesn't hear anything. Sam falls further behind, trying to see the source—he catches a glimpse of something shimmering amidst the few trees and strikes off looking for it—but there’s nothing there, only a cliff that he nearly goes over. Dean comes up behind him a minute later, urges Sam back up the trail.

• The next day at the library, perhaps driven by Dean giving him shit about hallucinations, Sam starts looking into the history of water in the area—they’ve driven over the San Pedro River but it always just looked to him like a muddy creek. He learns about the 1877 earthquake that broke the water table and reshaped the water in the area, lowering the San Pedro's level and transforming St. David from a malaria-ridden swamp into a town of artesian springs.

• Later that week, Sam’s sitting outside the coffeeshop possibly reading Flowers in the Attic when he hears the older woman at the table next to him insisting that mutants are living in Paradise, only coming out at night, kidnapping people and murdering them, mutilating their bodies and leaving them for the sheriffs to find (and cover up, naturally). Sam is only half-listening—conspiracy nuts are a dime a dozen in this town—until the woman's friend asks patiently where they're getting water from, and the woman says something about haunted springs in the forest. He pretends he’s Dean for a moment, cuts in on the conversation, says he’s doing an independent study project over the summer. The woman fills him in on not just the one disappearance, but several over the past decade, mostly border-jumpers and itinerants.

• Reading between the lines, Sam starts to wonder if there’s a vampire nest in Paradise; he takes down some names, starts putting the research skills he's been learning to good use. He looks up some of the newspaper records on microfilm, finding records—occasional mentions in the Bisbee Observer (and before that, the more legitimate and much less typo-filled Bisbee Daily Review) of people missing, reading up on the history of Paradise.

• He comes back from the library, excited to tell Dean and John what he’s found, only to find John gone and Dean and Tina halfway through a case of beer she brought; they invite Sam to join them, and Sam does. Drunk!Sam ends up talking a lot about how cool the sky island forest is and trying to convince Tina to come with them to see it, but Tina seems oddly resistant. She changes the subject, tells them about her sister, how she was so dominant that she couldn’t tell where her sister ended and she began. Sam starts to feel a sort of kinship with her.

• The next morning he wakes up, discovers that Tina and Dean are gone. He wanders out to where John’s working in the living room, tells him what he’s found. John, who got in late the previous night and is singularly focused on demon activity, is a little condescending towards Sam—there’s dozens of conspiracy theories circulating through town, and besides, if there were actual vampires in Paradise he'd have found some direct evidence by now, they’ve been here more than a month.

• Sam is adamant about going anyway—"you always say it's our job to look into things nobody else will"—and maybe John's a little swayed by Sam's passion (or maybe Sam threatens to steal a car if John doesn't take him). As a sop, John gives Sam the keys to the Impala and tells him to come back if he needs help; as he's about to leave, John calls Sam back, gives him a tenner and reminds him not to head out to the middle of nowhere without supplies. Sam stops at the Circle K, packs a couple jugs of water and some nuts and jerky, and takes off; he’s a little pissed at Dean for ditching him the previous night (and also for, he assumes, sleeping with Tina) so he doesn’t bring him along.

• A couple of hours later, he’s jouncing up the road. The road is empty, as usual, the sun is hot, as usual. Sam gets to the border of the sky island, where the sun is less ferocious, and pulls off at the first group of abandoned houses. He goes to investigate; the first two are empty, barely more than hovels. The third looks empty, but he spots a table with no dust on it; looking closer, he finds a trap door down to a cellar.

⁃ Sam knows he should go get Dean, but he’s still feeling jilted, so he goes and grabs a machete from the Impala’s trunk

⁃ Carefully, he makes his way down the rickety staircase into the basement, shining the flashlight around—and is nearly jumped by a middle-aged woman, yelling at him in Spanish. He has some high-school Spanish but not much; he manages to ward her off, convince her he’s not ICE or Border Patrol. She still doesn’t trust him, but he notices the two children in the corner, the chains holding them there. In Spanish: “Why are they held?” “Coyote,” the woman spits. “Went to demand more money from my family. Should have been back three days ago. Probably drowned in a bar.” Sam doesn't 100% understand but gets the gist—the empty water jug in one corner and stinking bucket in another tell most of the story. The disappearances, the mutilated bodies—it's nothing supernatural, just people doing awful things to each other.

⁃ Sam picks the locks on the chains, tells the woman to wait a moment; he goes out to the Impala, gets the food and a jug of water, gives them to the woman. She’s still wary, but accepts the gifts. She tries to give him a warning, something about water, though his Spanish isn’t quite good enough to make it out; she also presses on him a small figurine, clearly very old, something that looks like a mermaid.

• He gets back around twilight, finds Dean and John bent over photocopies of local records. John sees him come in, asks him if he found anything. Sam opens his mouth, intending to tell him about his day…then decides against it. Just says there’s no vampires. John grunts in acknowledgement, mind already elsewhere.

• The next morning, Dean's missing again, so Sam stalks off to go swimming at the community pool. He’s doing laps, trying not to think about anything, but Dean keeps coming to mind, the way his eyes met Sam’s when Tina was talking about her sister, the way they felt almost hungry. It keeps haunting him, something about that hunger—he's walking back down Main Street, past some of the shops and galleries that sell local art to tourists, when he sees a large painting of La Tlanchana that bears some resemblance to the mermaid figurine—the woman’s warning comes to him again, and two pieces click together in his mind.

• He starts researching La Tlanchana and her various legends and beliefs about her over the years, particularly drawn by the darker and more vengeful incarnations that the Aztecs worshipped. He starts formulating a theory about the disappearances, that they’re linked to…what? A haunted spring? A mermaid? He’s so tantalizingly close…

• He comes home when the library closes, all excited to tell Dean what he’s found and get his input, but John and Dean are both gone; Dean’s bed is rumpled, and the sheets smell like…well, they smell like Dean and Tina, in a way that makes Sam’s stomach flip with jealousy. It's not that he hadn't guessed that they were sleeping together, but...he’d thought Tina liked him. He’d thought…Dean belonged to him. Little things like the hollow of his hip when his jeans rode low, or the way his knees bowed out when he walked, or the tightness around his eyes when he was trying to hide something—

⁃ —does horny uncomfortable 16-year-old Sam sit on the bed and envision his brother and Tina together and end up desperately rubbing one out right there on the bed? Oh yes he does. Afterward, roiling with several emotions (of which only some are shame), he half-considers going to the bar to look for Dean—but he has more trouble passing for twenty-one, and besides, what is there even to say?

• The next day, Sam intends to sleep late to avoid Dean, but his brother comes in at ten or so, in a disgustingly good mood. “Come on, Sammy, you’ve been cooped up in that library too long. Tina was telling me about a cave up on Mule Mountain, supposed to be a great place for a picnic.” John is still gone, and Sam’s in no mood, but can’t really say no to Dean.

• The brothers strike out over Mule Mountain, watching out for snakes and wildlife, looking for deer. Sam tries to explain to Dean his half-formed La Tlanchana theory, but Dean just humors him. Sam, nettled, starts griping about Dean’s navigation skills, about the way he sounds like their father, about all the time he’s spending with Tina, etc.

⁃ Dean deflects, but Sam’s upset about a lot of things he can’t acknowledge, so he starts in on the major sore point in their relationship—ripping on John for trapping them here, for never letting Dean be a kid, for always demanding their unquestioning obedience and loyalty, etc. Dean tolerates Sam’s griping to a point but once he starts in on their father it’s only a matter of time before he’s threatening to kick Sam’s ass; when Sam gets to the “he’s never let you be independent” part, Dean informs him with no small amount of anger that John has offered to give him the Impala, let him take jobs on his own—but he refused, because he’s been taking care of Sam—

⁃ They’re so caught up in arguing that they miss the way the sky’s going dark—it’s not until the first crack of thunder splits the sky overhead that they shut up and look at the sky, which is incredibly threatening

⁃ Sure enough, a moment later it starts pouring, with all the ferocity of a full-on faucet. Dean whoops, shedding his shirt like it’s an old skin, and dashes for an overhang that might shield them from the worst of it

⁃ Sam swallows and follows, soaked to the skin and shivering as much from fear as from cold. Cue the most miserably sexually-charged moment possible—Sam tryiing desperately not to notice all those little intimate physical things about Dean that he loves, Dean oblivious and in his element watching the storm transform the landscape

⁃ There’s a moment—maybe Dean says something like “Whatever it is that’s been eating at you, spit it out, Sammy—“ where Sam almost confesses. But cowardice, or perhaps intuition, hold his tongue—some secrets don’t need to be told. So instead, he passes it off as moodiness, apologizes. Dean confesses that he’s not actually all that into Tina—she’s fun, and all, but he knows they’ll be moving on soon enough. He lets slip that John’s halfway convinced that there’s no case here, anyway; they’ll probably be moving on in a week or two. Reluctantly, they allows things to revert to the status quo; as a consolation, they find a waterfall and eat slightly soggy sandwiches alongside it.

• The next morning, Sam wakes up to an entirely different town—the hills are starting to turn green, people in town are making plans to picnic by the waterfalls, everyone’s mood is lighter. Sam realizes he’s already looking at the town differently—as yet another place that’ll be in the rear view mirror soon, not as a place he inhabits. He’s coming to terms with that—glad for it, in some ways—when something tips him off that things aren’t right. Maybe the crackpot dude tells him the cycle is beginning again, or he overhears some gossip about how Tina didn’t show up for her shift last night, or sees something in the police blotter. Regardless, he ends up convinced that Dean and Tina have run off to the sky island and that Dean is in danger. Sam once again channels Dean, steals a county truck and floors it out to the sky island, this time forgetting to bring any supplies.

• Sam arrives in Paradise but sees no sign of Dean or Tina. He realizes he's parched (even flooring it out to the sky island, it's a good hour's drive); he listens for the water sounds. Instead, he hears Dean’s laughter, low and beckoning. He follows it, finds Dean standing shirtless in a spring, the version of Dean that terrifies him, untouchable and threatening and irresistible. For a moment he's almost taken in—but he knows Dean like nobody in the world, and thus knows a copy when he sees one. Not-Dean smiles, shimmers, reforms into the more familiar mermaid form.

• La Tlanchana (or this version of her) tells Sam how he puzzles her. She usually kills violent men, and Sam has a lot of violence in his past, and a destiny of violence in his future—but he was kind to the migrant mother, and undid some of the horror she’s seen done in her land. She sings for him, a lullaby of sorts, luring him away from his life of violence and yearning—

• Sam’s about to submit to her song when Tina appears, tells her to stop, that Sam’s destiny is his own to choose. La Tlanchana sneers at her, the same way you did? and Tina says yes—I’ve chosen you. It’s been more than a hundred years, and you’ve seen so much horror, grown vengeful—but I still love you, your kindness, the way you give life in the desert. They sing together, their voices intertwining, until they turn to water, melding together.

• Sam shakes off the daze, goes back to the truck; a few minutes later, he finds the Impala, bogged down in the rutted post-monsoon roads. He shakes him awake, questions him to see what he remembers—Dean appears to have been hypnotized, or something similar. He uses the truck to pull Dean out of the rut, tells him to return to the town, everything's over. Dean will have questions later, but for now he goes.

• Once Dean is gone, Sam goes back to the pool, now a perfectly mundane little monsoon-fed spring. He takes out the little figurine of La Tlanchana, sets it on a rock nearby, tells both Tina and her sister goodbye, and thanks them for their help.

• Epilogue: Sam is beginning his junior year in yet another new school. The smell of the school is the same, as are the lights (flourescent) and the lockers (stamped metal that echoes when it slams); he finds the guidance counselor’s office, lets himself in. The counselor looks up at Sam, comments on both his excellent grades and his peripatetic record. Sam: “So, if I wanted to go to college…”

[sad-sweet-cowboah]

My Little Secret part 8

Summary: Filled to the brim with curiosity, you find out more about Arthur’s life and, well, afterlife. All the while you share some tender moments with him.

Warnings: It’s just fluff kiddos.

For the first time you could not wait to get to work. Excitement and anxiety took hold of you in anticipation of your next meeting with Arthur. Even when you woke up the next morning, your mind still reeled with the amount of information you received the night before.

Not only was Arthur a vampire, but he was also a famous outlaw. A double whammy that classified as both interesting and terrifying. You had so many more questions, an incomprehensible amount that would not even be covered in just one night.

As you headed out of the building, you heard a voice call to you from across the courtyard. You turned to see Sam jogging toward you, a huge smile on her face. She slowed down to fall in step with you.

“Hey Y/N!” Sam greeted somewhat breathlessly. “So… tell me how it went!”

“How what went?”

“Your date, silly!” Sam giggled. “Come on, give me all the juicy details!”

“Oh,” you said rather sheepishly. God, what could you even say? “It was… interesting.” You finally answered.

Sam’s eyes narrowed in suspicion at your tone. “What happened? Did it turn out he was a douche?”

“No not at all!” you rebutted. “The opposite actually. I learned… so much more about him than I thought I would.”

Sam’s eyebrows raised. “Ooh, did you sleep with him?”

“No Sam,” you sighed. “He’s just such a peculiar guy. So much more different than anyone I’ve ever dated before, but that’s what makes him so interesting.”

“Different how?” Sam pressed with curiosity.

You hesitated, unsure how to exactly word it without giving too much away. You thought for another moment before speaking again. “He doesn’t follow a conventional lifestyle, has a whole completely different diet even. Had a bit of a… wild past.”

“You make it sound like he’s part of a convent or something.” Sam said with a giggle.

You rolled your eyes, knowing full well it was the complete opposite. Could he even step foot inside a church? “That he definitely isn’t. But I’m still learning more about him, he said he might swing by my work later.”

“Wow, sounds like he’s really got a thing for you, visiting you while you’re sticky with liquor,” Sam laughed. “Next thing you know you’ll be walking down the aisle!”

You scoffed and gave her a gentle elbow nudge, though you couldn’t hide the smile on your face. “We’ll see how it goes.”

You spoke with Sam for a few more minutes before parting ways. You had a few hours until work and a large load of homework that weighed you down both physically and mentally. You made your way back to your apartment and settled with a cup of tea, ready to pore into your studies.

It impressed how much you’d gotten done in the span of two hours. There was only a month left in the school year, meaning final exams were soon around the corner. You were taking the time to wrap up projects you should have completed already, only your mind had been too warped thinking of Arthur. You managed to keep thoughts of him at bay until you were satisfied with the amount of work you’d completed for the day.

As you ate dinner and prepared for work afterward, your mind was flittering with questions you were preparing to ask him. Hell, what would be the first one? How many could you get through before your break was up? Would he still be around after you clocked out for the night?

You stopped yourself. There was still a chance he may not show up tonight at all, which spurred you to wonder about his job. What did his job entail specifically, and what jobs did vampires even hold? Were they something completely crazy or were they jobs similar to what regular humans had? You found yourself pondering too deeply, as an hour passed and you had an entire discussion with yourself on theoretical vampire politics.

Good thing you didn’t have a roommate.

You left afterward, your mind on autopilot as more questions and theories spread through it. You considered his life beforehand and how much you’d learned: an infamous outlaw from one of the most notorious gangs in history who made his mark in more ways than one in the state of Lemoyne. Why was he turned and when? Records mention he was last seen alive in 1899, assumed to have died. So what events transpired to lead to his final moments as a human?

Maybe you should write them all down when you have a chance.

You arrived at work sooner than you anticipated. Despite it being a weekday, it was karaoke night at the bar, which meant a usually heavier crowd. Tuesdays were generally a favorite night to work since you had to appreciate the patrons who were drunk enough to go up and sing. You settled yourself behind the bar as the first few of the night began to pile in. The sun was low in the sky, and you wondered when exactly he would wake up.

You kept yourself busy for the first few hours, passing out multiple beers and bar snacks while listening to the entertainment. The karaoke crowd was always the same few people, all of which had decent voices so it wasn’t a dreadful evening. You found yourself glancing at the door every time it opened, once again feeling both excitement and disappointment when you found each new body was not him.

Until it was.

You swore the atmosphere changed the moment Arthur stepped in. He seemed to have a different gait than everyone else, you noticed. Light on his feet and quick moments that reminded you almost of a big cat. You guessed in some weird way, he was.

His eyes locked onto you and smiled, making his way over to the bar. Once he reached it he pulled up a seat, placing himself in front of you. “Hey Y/N.” he greeted.

“Hey yourself,” you responded with a smile of your own, leaning on the bar. “Glad you came.”

“Glad I haven’t scared you off.” He jokingly countered.

Your smile widened, and you glanced back at your other coworkers in case any of them were watching. “So…uh, want a drink?” you offered with a shrug.

Arthur hesitated for a moment with a thoughtful look. “Did say I’d indulge, but I’d hate for a good whiskey to go to waste.”

You giggled at his reply. “Alright Mr. Morgan, you gonna sing instead?” you tilted your head toward the DJ booth. An older man stood up there, singing some old country song.

Arthur turned toward the show in curiosity, observing the man for a good moment before he shook his head. “I ain’t much of a singer,” He chuckled. “Least not in a long time.”

“Well, I guess you can just enjoy the entertainment then,” you said and then dropped your voice. “By the way, my break’s in an hour. I’ll be out back.”

He nodded once, flashing a subtle smile before he moved away from the bar.

And that next hour moved much slower than you liked. Despite having enough patrons to keep a steady workflow, your eyes kept drifting over to Arthur. He would watch the singers, nod his head to the beats of the songs, but would otherwise keep to himself. He moved around every once in a while, sometimes passing by you to briefly catch your gaze before wandering off into the crowd.

Once the clock struck to the next hour, you practically leapt over the bar to escape. After a quick bathroom and drink break, you made your way outside into the humid air. Even though the place was air conditioned, the amount of people would often make the air feel stuffy. You breathed in and leaned against the cool brick wall, your eyes scanning across the parking lot. Within moments you caught the familiar sight of his motorcycle, and you remembered with a jolt you’d left it behind at the restaurant last night.

“Hey.”

You flinched from his voice, turning to see him appearing out of the darkness almost silently. “Jesus,” you breathed, resting your hand over your heart. “You scared me.”

“Sorry,” he said with a slight chuckle, sidling up to you. “I tend to forget I don’t move like a normal human.”

Normal human. Those words sent a shiver up your spine, stirring up those memories of last night. A predator with a human face. You shouldn’t be afraid at this point, and you grounded yourself by reaching for his hand and interlacing your fingers with his. He didn’t hesitate to reciprocate. Little touches and moments to remind you he still has human emotions.

“How was your day?” he asked quietly.

You shrugged. “Same old, school then work. Boring as usual. How was yours?” you began, then realized it was a stupid thing to ask. “I mean – shit.”

He smiled in amusement. “Been nice so far, I get to see you.” He answered.

“Do you work tonight?” you asked next, thankful he didn’t make a fuss from your stupidity.

Arthur shrugged. “I’m on-call, I guess you could say. That don’t stop me from enjoying life’s pleasures though.” He gently raised your hand to his face, planting a sweet kiss on the back of it. Your heart fluttered in response.

“On-call,” you repeated. “Are you a doctor or something?”

“Or somethin’,” he replied lowly. “Anyway, I believe you had more questions to ask?”

As soon as he said that, your mind completely blanked. That entire mental list had disappeared within an instant. You frowned, trying to think of one, just any one, and failed. “Uh –” you paused. “What’s your favorite color?” you blurted out, inwardly cringing at yourself.

Another chuckle rumbled in his throat. “Blue, like the sky durin’ the day,” he answered with a sigh. “Somethin’ I miss a lot.”

Oh, maybe that wasn’t a good question to start with. “Sorry.”

He shook his head, smiling at you once again. “You’re alright, sweetheart. Got about 150 years’ worth of memories, ya know.”

Over a century. It however spiked up some of the prior inquiries you had. “So… what was your life like before you – er, turned?”

He leaned his head back against the wall, tilting his head up as his eyes searched the night sky. A look of faint longing crossed his face. His lips parted for a moment though no words accompanied it, as if he were trying to search for the right ones. “Well, I…” he trailed off, fixing his gaze to you. “How ‘bout you tell me what ya know, Y/N. That way I can confirm or disprove.”

The turnaround surprised you, however it made sense. Facts can become fiction over the course of time. “I know the most obvious, that you were an outlaw. You ran with the Van der Linde gang. You committed some heinous crimes of your time.”

Arthur nodded. “Any bounty poster or internet search coulda told ya that. What else?”

You took a deep breath, taking mental steps backward to the past few weeks. The museum in Saint Denis, Shady Belle, the library. Every place visited told the same story of him, the same few factoids without delving much into his personal life. It felt as if you were being quizzed.

“To be honest, there’s not much about you in history,” You admitted. “At least from what I’ve seen so far.”

“Wouldn’t expect otherwise,” he mumbled. “Back then people like me were a blemish to society, best left forgotten over time.”

“So were you really as cruel and heartless as history says?” you continue.

His smile turned rueful. “There was a time that I thought I was. I hurt a lot of people, killed even more…” he turned his head to face forward. There was an emotion in his eyes you couldn’t detect. “But I weren’t some killin’ machine. Didn’t like doin’ it, but I had to. I… we helped people too. As Dutch used to put it, ‘we save people that need savin’.”

“Really?”

He turned to look at you once again. “That surprise ya?”

“I…” you hesitated in thought. “A lot is surprising me these days.”

He huffed out hollow laugh. “Fair ‘nough. That life led to some interestin’ adventures. Robbed banks, trains, stagecoaches. Lived in multiple states when tryin’ to escape the law. Met some interestin’ folk along the way, took in a lot of ‘em too.”

“That’s something I learned, that many of you were just people looking for something better.” You remarked.

“Yeah, a bunch o’ lost souls fed with the promise we’d have a better life, only it ended with more bloodshed. Some were luckier than others, got out to live peacefully. Me, well…” he trailed off once more and gestured to himself with his free hand.

“You were turned.” You finished for him.

“Yes.” He nodded.

It fell silent between the two of you, and you pondered what to ask next. You chewed on your lip for a moment as a myriad formed in your head, many of which could possibly seem too prying or personal. Should you ask more about his life as an outlaw or about after he turned?

“You okay?” he asked, taking note of your silence.

You blinked, turning to look at him. “I am, I just…I’m not sure what to ask next.”

“Haven’t scared you any, have I?” he cautiously asked.

You shook your head. “Not since last night,” you joked with a giggle. “But there’s so much more to find out, like – when were you turned?”

“1899.” he said simply.

Well that made sense. “Okay, so how old are you?”

“36, like I said,” he continued. “Well…that’s how old I was when I turned. But I’ve physically been on this earth for 157 years.”

“And you don’t age?” you pondered, your eyes once again observing the faint wrinkles and scars that decorated his face.

“Nah, I’ve had this same unfortunate face for the past 121 years.” He shrugged.

You frowned at his response. Why did he always seem to talk down about his looks? “Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Acting as if you’re hideous when you’re not.” You pointed out.

Arthur shook his head in disbelief, a dry half smile crossing his lips that highlighted it. “Old habits I guess. Never had a high opinion o’ myself, hadn’t changed much over the years. Still surprises me that you wanna be with me, all things considerin’.”

You sighed heavily, reaching to take his other hand. You held them both, meeting his eyes directly as he stared at you in faint curiosity. “Arthur, I happen to think you’re easily one of the most handsome men I’ve ever met, that’s the truth. And…vampire, outlaw, whatever or not…I think you’re worth being with.”

Surprise shadowed Arthur’s face at your words, and then a shy smile crossed his lips as he ducked his head, expressing a short laugh. “You’re sweet, Y/N. Too sweet for my own good…” he let out a low breath and tugged you toward him, which you offered no resistance. His hands broke from yours and his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you so lightly to draw you in for a kiss.

You melted to his touch immediately, your own arms sliding around his neck to lock him to you. His lips moved against yours with little effort, his hands tightening just a smidge. His cool touch sent tingles along your bare skin. Your fingers threaded through his hair, prodding him to deepen the kiss. His tongue briefly met yours, sparking something deep in you that you wanted to chase.

He then parted his lips from yours, pulling his head back just enough to look into your eyes. Those blue-green hues were so gorgeous that it left you breathless. One hand left your waist to rest on your cheek, his thumb smoothing across the raise of your cheekbone. “Forgot what it was like to be like this…” he murmured.

“Like what?” you whispered, your mind still reeling.

“Bein’ sweet on someone,” he said, and noted your look of confusion. “Bein’ in a relationship, I mean.”

You tilted your head. “How long has it been for you?”

“Long time,” he sighed. “Lost count in years when they start to mold together.”

Your eyebrows raised. “Really? I find that hard to believe with someone as good looking as you.”

He exhaled a small chuckle. “I’ll admit some women have…tried over the years. Never did look at ‘em twice.”

“So what makes me different?” you ask, smiling a little.

Arthur tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, his smile mirroring yours. “You’re the first person to speak to me in a while. I tend to avoid most folk, but I won’t turn down a good conversation. Somethin’ about ya jus’ kept drawin’ me back. Your curiosity ‘bout me. Your excitement ‘bout your dreams n’ ambitions. And I ‘spose one o’ us has to be pretty.”

You giggled shyly, turning your eyes away from him for a brief moment. “Didn’t think I wasn’t all that special either.”

“Gotta say you’re wrong, sweetheart.” Arthur said to you. “More interestin’ than me.”

You laughed at his statement. “Now that I highly doubt, Mr. Morgan.” At that same moment, your phone vibrated in your pocket. It was the alarm you’d set to remind you to get back to work. Shoot, had your break passed that quickly? You sighed heavily and retrieved your phone to turn it off.

“Guessin’ you gotta get back inside.” Arthur said as a statement rather than a question.

You nodded solemnly, peering back up at him with disappointment. “I still have so much more I wanna find out.” You murmured.

His other hand raised to rest on your cheek, gently cradling your face in his grasp. “Always next time.”

You nodded. Tomorrow you had a morning class, which meant no time for idle chitchat after work. You were also working the next two nights, and it wouldn’t be fair to have him come here a second night when he had no concrete reason to stay other than to talk to you. “I’m free on Friday, if you wanna meet up again.”

A warm smile touched his lips. “Sure, where?”

“My house, doesn’t seem very proper to go out somewhere conventional when only one of us can eat.” You pointed out.

He laughed at your response. “’Spose so. Anyway, I won’t keep ya much longer…” he leaned forward to place a kiss on your forehead before his mouth traveled down to meet yours, eliciting such gentle tenderness in nearly made your head spin. He stepped back, releasing you. “Go on. Don’t want ya gettin’ in trouble.”

God, all you wanted to do was to stand out here and kiss him forever. Biting back a sigh, you bid him goodbye before glancing at the parking lot. The motorcycle stirred up the thought you had earlier. “Oh, you got your bike back. I forgot about it last night…”

“There’s perks of bein’ what I am,” he replied with a small smirk. “Cars n’ such ain’t a necessity to us, they’re jus’ fun to drive around.”

That certainly set an ease to the momentary concern of accidentally stranding him. “What, you turn into a bat?”

He snorted. “Nah, that’s jus’ fiction. Some things we made up ourselves.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Well, alright. Even more to find out. See you Friday, Arthur.”

He nodded, the amusement still plain on his face. “See ya Friday, darlin’.”

[vixey-chakraborty]

The Investment [Part One] & [Vixmus]

In which Vixey reaches out to a family friend for an investment...[takes place: late June, 2021]

@apennywasted

[tw -- none]

VIXEY: While Vixey trusted Jun’s judgement, she was still nervous to meet with Seamus MacTunnag. Even if she did know him through her parents, it only put more pressure on her to come off well. Since this meeting would reflect on them too. If he said no, she wasn’t sure where she would go next. Probably to InterPride. That was her next stop anyway, as she had to discuss the lease agreement. Or maybe this would just be a dead end. Vixey was still waiting for all of this to fall apart on her. Even if she did feel slightly bolstered by her various friends’ encouragement.

She had called Mr. MacTunnag and arranged to meet him at Hatter’s. It was a nice day, so she bought herself an iced coffee and sat out on the patio. When she saw him approaching, she stood up, reaching out a hand for him to shake.

“Mr. MacTunnag,” she greeted him with a smile. “Thank you so much for meeting with me. I really appreciate you taking the time. Can I buy you a coffee?”  [outfit]

SEAMUS:  Seamus had a visitor today, and it was one he knew fairly well, through her parents. They lived close to one another, their properties while not sharing a border fairly close, and he’d become fairly friendly with her parents after a bit of time living in Besydus. Rather than meet her on her farm, however, Vixey had asked him to meet her at Hatter’s for a discussion regarding her shoppe. 

While he was all too happy to oblige her, he needed to know what she was asking him, specifically, to invest in. 

Arriving a bit earlier than intended, Seamus had wanted to get a seat but had discovered that Vixey had beat him to Hatter’s already. He offered her a small smile when she stood and offered her hand for a shake. He took it, shook her hand firmly, before dropping her hand, unbuttoning his suit jacket, and sitting across from her. 

“Ah, that'd be lovely Ms. Chakraborty, thank ye kindly. Jus’ a regular coffee is fine, nothin’ fancy. But, I s’pose we should get right tah th’ point, aye?”

VIXEY: “Great,” Vixey said with a smile. “I’ll be right back and we can get started.” 

Vixey didn’t really want to “get right to the point,” but maybe that was just how she grew up. If you had a favor to ask someone, you started with pleasantries and worked your way towards asking after a long and meandering conversation. Vixey asking about Seamus grand-nephews (I know they have a birthday coming up!) Seamus commenting on the farm (It looks like you have a good crop of strawberries this season.) 

Seamus was a businessman, though. It made sense they were going to “get right to the point.” 

She grabbed the coffee and made it back to the table in just a few minutes. A few minutes that had filled her with jittery anxiety as she handed Seamus his coffee and took a seat again. 

“Right, so, I don’t know how much my mama has told you…” Vixey started and wondered if that was a good place. Maybe not. Maybe she shouldn’t assume anything. Her fingers fiddled with the cardboard cozy on her drink. 

“I am looking to open up a shoppe here on Main Street. A thrift shoppe.” 

SEAMUS:  He knew that it was not how people in Swynlake did business, getting right down to the heart of the matter. That was the way of businessmen in New York and Japan, people he had worked with who didn’t do roundabout or meandering business deals. It was easier, sometimes, to do things this way. Other times, like now, it might behoove him to do otherwise, but he wasn’t about to change his tactics in the middle of the situation. 

Vixey left and then she came back with his coffee and Seamus smiled. He thanked her. He was polite, took a sip of the coffee and nodded to tell her that it was alright. There was nothing complicated in it, and that was the way he liked these dealings, if he could get them this way. He didn’t mean to be abrupt, or forward. Any other time he would ask how the farm was doing, and had, how she was personally, and he still might, but he wanted to hear what she wanted, too. 

And that always, always came first. 

Seamus waited for her, patient, hands folded around the cardboard cozy around his take away mug. She started by talking about her mam and he grinned his crooked grin at her, the one that was, some would say, charming and others disarming. To him, it was just a smile. 

“Yer mam’s spoken a bit about ye, told me yer lookin’ tah expand out a bit,” he confirmed, then continued. “But I’d like tah know what yer wantin’ tah do with yer thrift shoppe, what I could be investin’ in. ‘S a smart idea, considerin’ th’ closest clothing shoppe is in NTO.”

VIXEY: You would think people continuously telling her that her shoppe was a good idea would make Vixey feel more confident in it. In a way, it did, but she kept being more caught off guard by the see through nature of business dealings. It wasn’t all like in the movies, which made it look dastardly and underhanded. 

Seamus knew why he was here, and he was getting right to the point. Vixey had to shuffle the notecards in her head around to accommodate for this fact. She took a sip of tea, wiggled in her seat a bit and then leaned over to pull out the binder she had been using to store all the notes and information on the shoppe. Inside was a bit of an aesthetic lookbook, pulled from magazines and Pinterest. Notes from several business start up how-to books, color coded by content and with a proper bibliography. There was a budget too, though probably not fully complete. 

“This is all I have on it so far,” she told him, pushing it toward him. “It’s simple, really. In concept. I just—noticed the lack of shopping and know how inconvenient that can be for families who aren’t as wealthy as some of the others in town. It kind of feels as if they can get left behind a bit…” She shrugged a shoulder. 

“I know I have competition with Tallulah Robinson, but I have a feeling we will be catering to very different needs in the town.” She wished she sounded more certain about this, but she was really just parroting what everyone else had told her. 

SEAMUS:  Seamus waited patiently for Vixey to get her wiggles out, the nerves clear. She probably hadn't been expecting him to be so to the point. That was okay. It meant he would be able to make an offer sooner, see what he could give to this project. He had high hopes for it, based on both what her mother had spoken of when they'd chatted and now. 

He was impressed when she pulled the binder out and set it on the table. His hands itched to leaf through it, see what information hid there, but he waited, waited patiently, his hands folded around his coffee. He would let her speak, and then he would look through it all and respond. 

The lookbook made him chuckle and he nodded as he skimmed through it. It was a good idea, a way to visualize the projected space, what she wanted to do with the business. Gave investors a sense she knew where she was headed. Her notes were good, too, the bibliography helpful. 

Then, there was the budget. That's where he came in. 

Closing the binder, Seamus tapped his knuckles against the cover, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he gave her a small smile. "This 's all good. Yer clearly prepared or as much as ye can be. Budget's incomplete, though I think yer aware. 'S where I come in ain't it?" 

Seamus knew it was. 

"Ye an' Miss Robinson will be catering tah different ideals," he agreed, matter-of-fact. "And tah be honest, I think yer shoppe has more traction. I know I'd've appreciated a place like this growin' up. Me family was a lot like the ones yer targetin'." 

He paused and then: "how much are ye needin'?" He could really give any amount. Hell, he could probably fund the entire project, but he knew to be careful. Vixey was just starting out. While her ideas were good, the competition (and potential competitor sabotage from Tallulah) were things he was definitely thinking about. 

VIXEY: Vixey waited anxiously while Seamus looked through the binder. At first, she just kind of stared at him, but when it was clear that he was going to be taking his time, she looked away. She took a sip of coffee. And watched people going by on the sidewalk. A family, a man with his dog, people who were hurrying to get somewhere, people who were moseying along. People taking pictures and people pointing. The sidewalk was swollen with tourists, as it often was in the summer. 

It entertained her for a bit, but it didn’t stop her from thinking anxiously about what Seamus was thinking. There hadn’t been any advice about how to organize your business. There were all sorts of things about the to do lists and the steps, but not putting it all together. She didn’t know if there was some industry format she was missing. If Seamus would know it and think her ignorant. 

She was ignorant, after all. About how business worked, anyway. And she wanted it to succeed. Even if she was still unsure about how much. 

The napkin she’d gotten with her drink was getting shredded in her lap. Her eyes snapped to Seamus as he leaned back and closed the book. She nodded a little at his question, unsure what else to say. It was the truth. She was here to ask him to invest. There was no getting around it really.  

Vixey managed a smile about the little anecdote he told. After all, that was why she was doing this. For families that needed it. It wasn’t frivolous. It was important. 

“Yes, well, uhm,” she tripped over her words but then managed to find them. “30,000 pounds is the total amount. I may have over calculated slightly, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

SEAMUS: Seamus knew she was only beginning her endeavor, that there were risks involved in backing someone who had no prior experience. He'd been one of those himself, once upon a time. But the ideas that he was seeing were good ones, a place to start. 

His eyes swept down to the napkin she had clutched between her hands, torn nearly to shreds and scattered on the tabletop. He refrained from drawing attention to it. She was clearly nervous, but his story seemed to have helped. That was good, then. 

Nodding, Seamus reaches into his coat pocket and pulled out his check book. "How's ten thousand pounds sound tah ye? 'S a start, gives ye a chance tah network. More experience fer ye and potential backers." 

VIXEY: 10,000 pounds?

That was more money than Vixey had ever seen in her life. She hadn’t known what to expect, or how much to except, when she met with Seamus today. Honestly, she hadn’t expected anything at all. Maybe a rejection. Maybe encouragement but no offer for a loan. And she would appreciate whatever she got. She would be humble and grateful.

And she was!

Ten thousand pounds was just...so much money! It didn’t even scratch the surface either, which was entirely wild to her. 

Still...she’d be an idiot not to take it, especially after she had worked so hard to get to this point. 

“Wow, yes. That’d be--that’d be amazing Mr. MacTunnag. Amazing, actually. Thank you so much!”

[benoitblanc]

tagged by @castelllans (ily caroline!!!) to answer some questions!

do you prefer writing with black pen or a blue pen? black 100%

would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? city, but not in a super crowded hectic bit. like near the natural history museum in london. in one of those super expensive row houses. as you can see, i haven’t thought about this at all XD

if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? i’d love to become proficient in italian. or tap dancing

do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? i actually don’t drink coffee at all and not much tea, but on the extremely rare occasions i have english breakfast tea, i take sugar

what was your favorite book as a child? besides harry potter? my love of crime fiction started really early with the a to z mysteries by ron roy. i loved ruth rose so much

do you prefer baths or showers? showers- i never have time for a bath

if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? a phoenix or a dragon!

paper or electronic books? absolutely paper

what are your favorite items of clothing? i have a t-shirt with the entirety of les miserables written on it in tiny text, and another with the entirety of the secret garden. i also love my stage management outfits, which are literally just whatever black clothing i can find the day of, but they always make me feel so badass

do you like your name? would you like to change it? i do, actually! my first name is extremely common and anglican but i think it fits me anyway. my middle name, what i go by on tumblr, is after fucking arwen undomiel- no, i’m not joking, i was legitimately named by my parents after arwen undomiel- so what’s not to like lol

who is a mentor to you? all the more experienced members of my production team are always so helpful and supportive and lovely. i miss them a lot

would you like to be famous? if so, what for? honestly? probably not. i’d like to be well-respected in my field but i don’t think that’s the same thing

are you a restless sleeper? yes, which sucks

do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? i’m a weird mixture of “absolute cynic” and “hopeless romantic” so... i suppose?

which element best describes you? air or fire

who do you want to be closer to? i forgot to answer this question last night- the answer here was copy-pasted from caroline with the rest of the game, sorry caroline- but there are several people i see on a semi-regular basis (during normal times) who i’m sort of friendly with but i’d love to be friends with

do you miss anyone at the moment? i miss all of my friends a ridiculous amount, but especially my idiot actors. (you all have probably heard at least one idiot actor story if you’ve been following me for any length of time.) they all mean the world to me, and i can’t wait until we’re all back in the theatre

tell us about an early childhood memory. when i was really little, like 3-5ish, i would always go to a family friend’s house while my mum worked. the family friend had three kids, one a year above me, one my age, and one two years younger. i have a handful of weirdly specific memories from their house, but my favorite is when the kid my age and i were playing on their swingset and when the mom called us in for lunch, she joked “oh, where are arwen and ben? i think they’ve swung into space! maybe to the moon!” i was maybe like four and i can still remember that she made us macaroni and cheese. it was a good day

what is the strangest thing you’ve eaten? i’m completely blanking on this one. i’ve eaten some weird shit in england but nothing too bizarre. elizabeth sponge, which is basically lavender-flavored victoria sponge, was pretty horrendous though. victoria sponge is such a perfect dessert and then you go and make it taste like perfume??? why???

do you like spicy foods? usually! as long as they aren’t too spicy

have you ever met someone famous? i went to elementary school with one of stephen king’s grandkids, aka joe hill’s son, so i’ve met joe hill. he and my dad would always talk about doctor who while they waited to pick us up. he actually wasn’t as weird as you would expect. my classmate, on the other hand, was exactly as weird as you would think a king would be

do you keep a diary or journal? i have made several attempts to do so and inevitably fail every time

do you prefer to use pen or pencil? depends on the situation

what is your star sign? pisces

do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? in between!

what would you want your legacy to be? that i did something good for the world. i touched someone’s life in some way

do you like reading? what was the last book you read? i adore reading. i would die if i couldn’t read. i’m currently reading my dear hamilton by stephanie dray and laura kamoie, but the last book i finished was a reread of the raven king by maggie stiefvater

how do you show someone you love them? just by being a shoulder to lean or cry on more than anything. also, lots and lots of teasing in a fun, mutual, bestie banter (or straight-up flirting depending on the person) way

do you like ice in your drinks? in water or lemonade, but nothing else

what are you afraid of? wasps and gas masks and failure

what is your favorite scent? the specific mix of evergreen, cold air, woodsmoke, peppermint, stale popcorn, something baking, and snow that you only get at christmastime

do you address older people by their name or surname? depends on how well i know them

if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? in london in one of the aforementioned row houses, doing the things i love and travelling as much as i could

do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? neither. lake supremacy. (i do enjoy pools and the sea, but lakes are best)

what would you do if you found $50 on the ground? attempt to figure out who it belonged to, most likely

have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? i think i’ve seen a couple, but i don’t remember making a wish

what is one thing you would want to teach your children? the boldest thing you can do is just be kind

if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? ...i don’t want tattoos, so nothing

what can you hear now? the hum of my air purifier

where do you feel the safest? my theatre is simultaneously where i feel the safest and where i have the most anxiety attacks. no clue why, although maybe it’s because i feel safe enough there to let myself freak out a little 

what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? i’m making it my goal this summer to overcome my phobia of thunderstorms. i’ve progressed to the point where a calm, rumbly storm actually makes me really happy now, which is great! i’d also love to just... stop having the aforementioned anxiety attacks but not sure how much i can do about that lol

if you could travel back to an era, what would it be? assuming none of the bigoted shit that was inevitably going down in literally any era is applicable, either the 1920s or 1940s

what is your most used emoji? 😂

describe yourself using one word? tenacious

what do you regret the most? i honestly don’t have many regrets, which is wonderful. the one i do have i flipflop between not giving a flying fuck about and going “oh god i really fucked up there!”, so it’s complicated XD

last film you saw? a rewatch of the avengers

last tv show you watched? technically both marvel agent(s) shows because i’m getting clips for giffing purposes- and side note the carter lighting designer owes me money at this point for making me go through this coloring bullshit over and over- but the last show i saw a full ep from was leverage

invent a word and it’s meaning. praecipience (n.)- the feeling of sickening anticipation you get right before something that you know is coming, like a cast list or an episode or opening an acceptance/rejection letter or an execution

tagging anyone who wants to do it :)

[geewithluv]

seokjin ♛ meeting her parents

Ｐａｉｒｉｎｇ：Kim Seokjin x Fem!OC Penelope

Ｇｅｎｒｅ：fluff

Ｗａｒｎｉｎｇｓ：none

Ｗｏｒｄ Ｃｏｕｎｔ：1k

Ａ／Ｎ： « this belongs in my headcanon universe and you can read the other parts in the masterlist, the description of the characters is [here] so you get a summary of who they are. »

ｍａｓｔｅｒｌｉｓｔ

Penelope’s parents insisted they meet Seokjin the second they heard she had become friendly with him. Of course, they didn’t hear it from her directly but ‘through the grapevine’ is what they told her. She had actually only seen him a couple of times at that point but her mother, a socialite, was appalled that her daughter even waited to mention meeting him.

 She held them off until she and Seokjin had been dating for a little over a month when insisted that she bring him along to a party they were hosting. They made little room for argument and Seokjin didn’t seem to mind the invite even when Penelope assured him that he could back out.

 Seokjin usually had no issue getting along with people and didn’t find himself to be too worried about the meeting up until the day of. That’s when he started overthinking it. Penelope had told him that they were going to stay with her parents for a few hours before all arriving at the party together. He was also informed that it was less of a party and more of a gala which meant pictures were going to be taken throughout the night and also of their arrival but Penelope’s parents assured her that they would not allow pictures of Seokjin to be distributed.

 This is when Seokjin fully realized the ability of Penelope’s family. Who hosts a gala just because? The Morrison’s apparently.

 “I can practically hear your heart racing, love.” Penelope leaned up against the door frame of the bathroom as Seokjin tried to figure out how he was going to do his hair.

 “Meeting your parents is a big deal.” He said simply deciding a side part would look more formal.

 “I’m aware. I’ve met my parents and they’re very intimidating.” Her voice showed little emotion. He glanced her at her before sighing.

 “Not helpful.”

 “They already like you, so don’t worry so much. There’s not much you could do to make them think I shouldn’t be with you.” She shrugged, joining in in front of the sink and fixing his tie.

 “They don’t even know me. How could they like me?” His eyebrows furrowed.

 “Have you forgotten who you are?” She chuckled. “They know a lot about you. More than the media and the fans. You guys know some mutual people. Besides,” she sighed, “my parents wouldn’t want to lose the opportunity to say that their only child is worthy enough to be tied to such a famous man.”

“They like me because I’m famous?” Seokjin asked as if he had never heard such a thing.

 “Yeah, it’s… not ideal… but they’re business people. My mom’s made a career off being around famous people. They’ll love you for Kim Seokjin and not Jin from BTS when they meet you. So don’t worry so much about wanting their approval. You have it, they’d marry me off to you if they could.” She rubbed his arms and exhaled. “Don’t wear a tie.” She said as she looked him over. Seokjin made a perplexed face at the sudden change of subject. “You can change right before the party and you’ll probably get it dirty so just bring it with. If my dad hates it he’ll arrange for another outfit. We’ve gotta get going.” She gave him a quick kiss and left the bathroom.

 He could tell she was a little nervous, despite convincing him that there was honestly nothing to worry about. But she was being way too blunt for someone not anxious. She was going into business mode and though it was kinda sexy it was a little scary to Seokjin as he wondered if everything concerning her parents was business.

 Seokjin soon came to realize that everything was business to the family. As much as Penelope cared about her business endeavors, she was a person outside of that and Seokjin admired both parts. Her parents, though nice and endearing, were very much business-oriented. 

 “Try not to drink around Jessica, she just started her sobriety and while she’s certainly going to relapse tonight we don’t want to be the ones her parents blame it on. Especially while we’re negotiating.” This is what Penelope’s father explained as they sat in the much too large living room. The two sectional couches seemed like armchairs given the amount of empty space in the room. 

 “Seokjin?” Penelope’s mother sweetly called his attention. He learned her name was Soonja and she insisted on being called as such.

 “Yes?” He acknowledged as she poured him some tea. She didn’t ask, just assumed he wanted some.

 “I wanted to make sure you knew how much we really value your privacy. There will be a lot of pictures being taken but all the photographers are my own I use them for so many events.” She explained and it seemed almost like a brag. “I know given your… status… that’d you’d like to remain low-key so I will personally make sure that no photos of you are released. I’d like to keep this relationship on good terms.” She smiled. He wasn’t sure if she meant his relationship with Penelope or her parents. Probably both.

 It was to no surprise that Penelope’s parents dictated what they wore. More Penelope, who was used to it. But they wanted to be sure that they matched perfectly. Her father even bought Seokjin a tie that matched Penelope’s dress. 

 “Are you alright?” Penelope asked Seokjin during their first moment alone in 2 hours. He merely nodded. 

 “They’re a lot to take in.” He admitted, not sure if she’d find that offensive. To his relief, she laughed in agreement.

 “You’ll get used to them. Or not and you just won’t have to deal with them.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.

 “If it means being with you I’ll keep being lectured about the hors d'oeuvres.” He kissed her lips.

 “Now let’s go and wow everyone.” She teased, backing away from him and heading out to the car.

 The party went well and Seokjin, surprisingly, had a good time. Her parents kept true to their word about the photographs and as they found the party to be a success they were warmer to Seokjin and introduced him to a few businessmen as ‘their future son-in-law’ which he later learned from Penelope was to boost their reputation among friends.

 Seokjin became as regular a guest as Penelope and even went to visit her parents with her and started buying them gifts.

[itsswimmingtragedycollection]

YouTubers are shitty people

First of all, deal with it, accept it, let it sink in so we can fix it like we should have done a long time ago. The more I get to know and learn about that community, the more I am convinced it’s specifically appealing to extraordinarily self absorbed, self important, egocentric, entitled people, and that’s no coincidence. I couldn’t put my finger on it for a long time, because it’s not until you come across a *few* actually decent youtubers that it becomes obvious. Reminds me of older generations and casual homophobia. They never see it as an issue because in their circles, everyone is doing it and it’s very well accepted if not even demanded.  The main reason I chose to call them collectively shitty instead of naming names, even though not *literally* every single one of them is shitty, is because they all (at least the very successful ones) seem to share certain character traits. But before we get into that, let’s discuss yt as a platform first. The best thing about it is also the absolute worst thing about it: ANYONE CAN DO IT. Politicians talk about farming as a low skill job, but that ain’t it, being a youtuber is. If you know how to film a video and have internet access, congratulations! Because that’s literally it. Now of course, some creators will put more time and effort and their additional skills into their work, but even if turning your camera on is all you got, it’s not an obstacle whatsoever. Just look at Tana Mongeau real quick. She sits in front of the camera, tells a whatever story, that could easily fit into THREE sentences, for half an hour, with minimal editing and bam! Hands down one of the laziest ‘content creators’ to this day, but still, in the yt world, she’s the 1%.  Other than Tana Mongeau, the more important problems with ‘anyone can do it’ are the factors determining who becomes the fairest of them all (which is what enabled her rise to fame in the first place). This is where we get political, but let’s get real, spilling the tea about who said what about who is so last year, in 2019 we’re looking at the bigger picture. The bigger picture would be, where we are as a society, which is not a good place at all. The situation is, a handful of people~the famous 1%~are fucking us in the ass for profit and effectively getting away with it.(Not really news) They are able to accomplish that with three main mechanisms: 1. Keeping people busy and stressed. If you have to get up early, work all day for shit pay and worry about paying your bills, debts, feeding yourself, keeping that job...you don’t actually have the time for much else. An average worker doesn’t have hours or days to spend on in-depth researching of socioeconomic trends, they’re mostly just going to rely on quick news they get from the media, which, as we all know, does not paint an accurate picture, to say the least. That middle class persona, who has a decent job, full 8 hours of sleep and some free time, with the rising rates of poverty and homelessness, is becoming a rarer and rarer occurrence.  2. Isolation. There’s this whole individualism thing that we got going on. You know the ‘We are all individuals for ourselves!! If you’re successful, it’s only because of YOU personally and if you’re a failure it’s because you’re stupid and unworthy!! Everyone is competition!! Asking for help is shameful!’ And also, belonging to a group (American, white, black, gay, straight, man, woman, trans...) is a part of our identity, but it’s almost like, identifying with a certain group means picking a side. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s great to know where you come from and to find a place where you belong, but individualism has us thinking that the differences between these groups are somehow irreconcilable, when, in reality, we have a lot more in common than not.  3. Providing you with an enemy. We all see this every day. ‘Mexicans are stealing your jobs! Immigrants are the biggest threat to national security! North Korea is our number one enemy!’ You know, usually people with virtually no political or decision making power in the country get to take all the blame. And if you’re an average person, stressed, depressed and isolated, and someone points a finger and says ‘This is the reason your life sucks’ instead of saying ‘Hold up, that’s not true, you’re the reason my life sucks, get that dusty dick out of my ass and let me take a break’ you end up throwing stones at people getting fucked just as hard as you.  (I would also like to point out that a big part of keeping this in place is fucking up the education system and rewriting history in a way that favors the existing situation so one feels less inclined to question it form an early age.) Now let’s get back to youtubers. The reason I wrote this long ass introduction is because youtubers come from the society and are very much a part of it. They don’t fall from the sky straight into our hearts, even though it might feel that way sometimes. In fact they are a product of it, because who thrives and who perishes is decided by the said society. People tend to gather around content that resonates with them, so just like a Trump supporter is very unlikely to endorse AOC, and vice-versa, we support youtubers that align with/represent our own beliefs and values the most. So upon taking into consideration the very shitty values and beliefs that we get shoved down our throats on a daily basis, it is only reasonable to assume they take part in deciding which youtuber we like and want to see succeed. And if we take a closer look at youtube’s it list, we will notice some pretty worrying similarities. First of all it’s rare to find one without a questionable past (and present) that ranges from racism, sexism, misogyny to bullying, lying, scamming...It’s so common that it’s not even that big of a deal anymore, it’s just a thing that happens. Kinda like apology videos. Who doesn’t have at least one these days? It’s hard for me to believe that out of hundreds of thousands of youtubers out there, we somehow accidentally cherry picked, almost exclusively, only the ‘problematic’ ones. And they are all ‘problematic’ in the same way.   Second of all, they are very self important. Also coincidentally.  When you make tons of money and have worldwide fame at a young age, and most of them are young, you start to think that you *must* be special. God must have put his finger on your forehead and made you better than everyone for all of that to happen to you. Sadly, this is encouraged by fans too. Even more so since today being rich is *the shit*  and the ultimate end game, so people will look up to them, admire them, idolize them etc. This leaves a very strong ‘you can’t sit with us’ aftertaste and frequent outbursts of entitlement whether it’s inability to take criticism, coming after regular people, letting fans tear them apart or  refusing to be held accountable for your bs and blaming other people. I think James Charles is an excellent example of an entitled youtuber. Even Gabbie Hanna handles criticism better. And he also categorically refuses to be responsible for any damage he does. Whenever a sister scandal occurs it’s either a) not his fault or b) he was a different person back then and has since done some personal growth so we can’t hold it against him.  Next, we gotta talk about that youtuber ego. We get to experience it any and every time someone asks ‘Why tf are youtubers getting payed insane amounts of money?’ They are a very easily triggered bunch and I can’t count all the times I heard ‘YOUTUBE IS A JOB NO ONE WORKS FOR FREE SO NEITHER DO WE JEALOUSY IS A DISEASE GET WELL SOON’  Here’s the thing though, no one disputes the fact that it’s a job. What is unfathomable to outsiders is, why would someone give a person five figures for saying ‘Buy this shit it’s really cool’ on camera? How is that possibly worth that much? Fact of the matter is, it’s not, but saying ‘By this shit it’s really cool’ to a shit ton of your followers, is. The youtuber ego is what happens when you can’t say ‘We earn money by exploiting the trust our fans put in us’ but you still have to justify your position so you say ‘First of all. We’re super special, original and unique. This is a very hard job, we work our asses of, if it was easy, everyone would do it.’ And then you star believing it. But more importantly, your followers believe it too. At the beginning I pointed out that anyone can to it because it’s a low skill job, so if you wondered why everyone is not doing it, it’s precisely because we’re constantly being told the opposite, and I gotta say, I don’t see anyone questioning it. Even though it’s not even remotely true. Take a look at any group, beauty gurus, entertainers, commentary channels, drama channels, whatever you choose, if you’ve seen five creators in a bunch, you’ve pretty much seen them all, not a whole lot of originality going on there. In fact, this ‘uniqueness’ is nothing more than some basic branding. Drinking coffee is so Emma Chamberlain, conspiracy theories are so Shane Dawson, racism is so Pewdiepie and so on.  Pewdiepie actually brings me to my last point. He illustrates what I want to say so incredibly well. As we all know, he’s been called out, multiple times, for blatant racism, antisemitism, sexism, overall regressive, aggressive, harmful standpoints. And absolutely nothing happened, he’s doing just fine. Why is that? Because, firstly, he never gets called out by his own fans. Like I said, we pick who we support, which means his fans gathered around him because they liked and shared his viewpoints in the first place. Not only did they not call him out, they defended him. How many times is Pewdiepie going to have a sister scandal and get away with it? As many as he wants. He’s never gonna be cancelled because the only people who have the power to do that, love his racism. He’s virtually untouchable. It makes sense why he acts like he’s got God by the balls. And, coincidentally, he is the most followed youtuber in history of youtubers with 80 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS. All the other shitty youtubers ™ stay relevant and slaying for the exact same reason. Their fans like them because they are shitty, it’s a vicious circle. Not ony are shitty youtubers ™ a reflection of how much we need to do better, they are to an extent preventing that from happening. ‘Such, such and such bad behaviour made this person rich and famous, so it must be good, and every time I watch their videos I am surrounded by people who think the same, which in turn, encourages me to glorify it even more.’  The whole reason I wrote this, is because we really, really, need to do better. I have seen people calling them out on things I mention here, but so far I never saw anyone connecting the epidemic of shitty youtubers ™  to our current circumstances as a society, which is definitely there. So instead of wrapping ourselves into the comfortable blanket of ‘as long as a lot of other people are thinking like me, everything is fine’ we should start asking for more from ourselves and others.  Pass it on, spread the good word. 

[luvknow]

barista au | han jisung

❝ what’s good ~? welcome to cafe glow!! what would ya like? ❞ ❝ can i just get a cup of water? ❞

HAN JISUNG

night/closing shift cafe au lait all day widely known as “the flirty one” sings/raps nearly every song that comes on the radio gets carried away with talking to the customers for too long

chan | woojin | minho | changbin | hyunjin | JISUNG | felix | seungmin | jeongin

sigh...

dear god.

prepare yourselves for The Closing Shift™

if pairing hyunjin and felix for the same shift was the second worst decision chan and woojin have ever made, then this was the absolute worst.

poor woojin has some of the most extra boys closing with him...

but he wouldn’t have chosen anyone else to do the job.

from dinner to closing, there was about an hour of chill time, where not many customers were in the cafe.

but the boys used this hour to prepare for the rush that would come in without any warning.

jisung was both fast and efficient when taking and making orders, so he was perfect for this shift.

but with the time he saved with his efficiency, he often talked with the boys or the customers and got distracted.

but woojin didn't mind too much because he his friendliness brought in a lot of tips.

although all the boys are handsome in their own ways, the customers tended to gravitate towards and fawn over jisung a little bit more.

it was so noticeable that jisung liked to use it to his advantage in order to milk out some tips.

"here's your order! you beautiful ladies have a wonderful day ~"

"you're so weird..." changbin often teased.

"as if you don't do the same, hypocrite."

you hated that your classes aligned inconveniently with cafe glow's busy hours because you were always stuck with one of the smaller tables with all of you stuff sprawled out.

today, you had been at the cafe for a couple of hours now and wanted something to drink.

it was pretty late and there was no way you wanted coffee, so water would do just fine.

except the line was going impossibly slow.

the other boys were busy making the orders while you saw one talking with a group of girls in front of you, laughing and flirting away.

you weren't angry at the group for having some fun - in fact, you wish you had the courage to flirt around like that, too - it's just that you had a lot of work to do tonight still and waiting in this line wasn't helping your frustration one bit.

the look on your face must have been a sight to see because woojin had to kick jisung to get his attention.

"hey, can you stop flirting for one whole second to help her?" woojin scolded.

"oh, i'm sorry!" he said, rushing over to you. "what would ya like?"

"can i just get a cup of water?" you asked.

"water? that's it!? you don't want any coffee or tea or anything fun?" he teased lightly, flashing you a toothy grin.

"no thanks, i had coffee earlier."

"nonsense, you can't just drink water here at cafe glow! tell you what, let me make you something, and it’s my treat for making you wait so long."

"oh no, that's ok -"

but jisung had already started making your drink before you could finish your sentence.

why was he so persistent!? literally all you wanted was to get a cup of water to refresh yourself and get back to your work, but of course, this boy had to throw off your flow.

you weren’t surprised though, to be honest. your barista looked like someone who would be spontaneous like that.

at least you didn’t have to pay for it.

“here’s your free drink!” he called out.

you took the cup of what you assumed to be some fruity iced tea. it was just the right amount of refreshing to kick you awake, but you really could have survived with just water.

“thanks for this. it’s really good.”

“no problem!!”

“but can i also get a cup of water anyways?”

“eh? for what?”

"so i don’t have to come up and go through this again.”

yikes, that sounded a bit harsher than you intended, but you were just being honest!

you heard woojin and changbin hold back their laughter behind the counter.

with a noticeable pout, jisung went to go get the water you so desired, and now you felt bad...

so you tipped them the same amount that the iced tea cost.

“thank you,” you repeated to jisung, hoping you sounded nicer than before.

“wow, she was completely unaffected by The Han Charm™,” changbin noted. “that’s a first.”

“yeah, what the hell...” he muttered.

“never mind the matter, she tipped us a lot! i like her,” said woojin.

you made a really big impact on jisung with your unimpressed attitude because he couldn’t focus the rest of the night.

he hoped that maybe his anxiousness would disappear as soon as you left the cafe, but you stayed until they closed and had to kick everyone out.

it was a wonder how you were so unaffected by his boyish charm. you were the first to resist it and jisung just couldn’t accept that fact.

maybe he just wasn’t your type? but that was completely ridiculous because jisung was everyone’s type, right!? or so he assumed.

he’ll get to you one day. he’ll make sure of it.

you’ll be smiling, laughing, and blushing all because of him in no time.

you came in again a couple of days later, right after the same inconveniently-timed class.

jisung was busy wiping down a table for a group of giggly girls near the entrance when he saw you walk in and immediately ditched the task to run up behind the counter before one of the other boys could take your order.

you were startled by his urgency.

“what’s up?” he said, panting slightly. “what can i get for you?”

“just a cafe au lait, please.”

“oh, that’s my favorite, too! cafe au lait all day.”

...

did he just rap your order to you?

you cock a brow at jisung in amusement. admittedly, it was very cute and on the inside you wanted to burst out laughing, but that would give away the mysterious demeanor you held, wouldn’t it?

jisung sighed in defeat.

“i’ll go get that for you...”

“thank you ~”

you went to find the best table that was available before you were stuck with another tiny one like last time, but alas, no luck for you.

the barista boy came over with your drink and you thanked him once more and usually workers in food service would get back to work after helping a customer.

but not this one.

this one dared to sit down across from you and stay there after he handed you your drink.

“uh... do you need something from me...?” you asked.

“no! i just wanted to talk,” he began. “so how was your day?”

did your barista really say that he ‘just wanted to talk’?

what was he getting at?

“my day was good...?” even to you, that sounded like a question rather than an answer.

“oh yeah? what did you do today?”

“i went to class and now i’m here.”

“class isn’t fun, so that can’t be the reason why you’re day went well. ah, it must be because you’re here with me, right?” he asked, giving you a flirtatious smirk.

“you’re right.” jisung’s face immediately brightened when he heard you agree. “i love coffee a lot, so that’s definitely the only reason why.”

his face dropped again to a deep pout and you almost feel bad about how much you were enjoying messing with him.

almost.

“how about you? how has your day been?” you asked.

“h-huh?”

in all the times that jisung had been talking to and flirting with his customers, they would usually flirt back or the conversation was just a lot of back and forth complimenting and never had much substance to them.

but none of the customers had ever shown any genuine politeness by simply asking how his day went, too.

and it was coming from you, of all customers, who looked like you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

why were you so mysterious like that!? it wasn’t fair!

“i asked you how your day was,” you repeated, not looking up from your notes on your laptop screen. “i promise i’m listening - i can multitask.”

“oh, am i bothering you?”

jisung could feel his palms start to sweat from being so nervous. you made him extremely nervous because you were so intimidating and he was definitely not used to being around someone like you.

it was kind of exciting for him.

“no,” you shrugged.��“i’m almost done.”

“o-oh, well in that case, my day was just all right.”

“that doesn’t sound good.”

“yeah... i woke up late and missed one of my discussion classes that takes attendance.”

“yikes, that’s not good at all.”

“i know. but my day became a lot better now.”

“oh, yeah? that’s good.”

for the first time, you looked up and smiled at him and it made his heart leap into his throat.

“is it because you like working here?” you asked.

“u-uh, yeah! i like it here a lot, actually. i get to meet a bunch of amazing people.”

“me, too.”

your days at cafe glow never changed.

you came in at the same time on the same days for the entire semester and each day was spent almost entirely with jisung, give or take the moments when he actually had to work and help customers and what not.

your time with him was also pretty routine, which mostly consisted of you doing homework or easy note taking that could easily be paired with talking with jisung.

it was surprising how well you two got along.

you thought he was just some flirty asshole who wouldn’t stop bothering you until you gave him your number.

but he really genuinely enjoyed meeting new people and getting to know them, even if you were one of the more difficult customers.

everyone in the cafe could tell how close you two were becoming.

especially all of his frequent regulars, who tried to keep him busy with them until they left the cafe.

“i don’t think they like me,” you scoffed as he rushed back to sit with you.

jisung missed the group of girls glaring at you before walking out the door.

“don’t mind them ~ they just want me all to themselves, that’s all ~ my customers tend to get jealous, but don’t worry! i’ll protect you!”

“oh? can’t imagine why they’d all fight over you,” you teased.

“hey, i’m trying to defend you and all you do is tease me!?”

“i’d hardly call that defending.”

“well anyways... don’t mind them, ok? so what if they don’t like you? i like you, and that’s all that matters.”

a short laugh escaped his lips and jisung thought his ears were deceiving him.

could it be that you actually laughed at something he said...!?

“i like you, too.”

“you’re in love with me, aren’t you?”

“thanks, you ruined it.”

as the semester came to a close, you had to break the news to jisung that your schedule for next semester would be completely different and you wouldn’t be able to see him during his shift anymore.

the weight of your words felt heavy and sank to the pit of his stomach.

it sounded like you were saying good bye to him, as if you’d never see him again.

you were the only customer left in the cafe just minutes before closing time when you told jisung.

he stood right in front of you, worry written all over his adorable face.

“but i’ll see you around though, right...?”

“i can try stopping in from time to time, but i don’t think our schedules match up. i have morning classes, so i don’t have a reason to study here at night anymore.”

“then just come to see me.”

“wouldn’t i be bothering you while you’re working?”

“i can multitask,” he winked, quoting your own words. “besides, it’s not like you haven’t been bothering me at work even when you’re just studying ~”

“if you want me to keep coming in just so you can see me, just say so ~” you teased.

“i do,” jisung admitted. “i want you to keep coming in so i can keep seeing you. please?”

jisung couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the blush creep up on your cheeks. with a confident smile, he dared to push it further.

“i’d miss you a lot.”

all of the unwavering confidence that jisung witnessed throughout the entire semester went out the cafe doors when you buried your blushing face in your hands to hide your embarrassment.

“ah, you’re so cute ~!” he gushed, pulling you into a tight hug.

“fine, i’ll come in as much as i can...!”

“i’ll hold you to that, you know.”

“i’ll give you my number so you can hold me accountable.”

“wow, i didn’t even have to ask you for your number? i knew it, you’re in love with me.”

“shut up, oh my god.”

[skeletorific]

I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Skeleton

The name changes. To some its known as Reaper’s Grind. To others, Bones and Brew. To still others, MarshMarrow. It depends who’s in charge that month. Regardless of the name, it is always painted in black script on a driftwood sign, carved so that it appears to be cradled by giant skeleton hands.

Most see this sign and assume its some kind of Halloween or Goth themed establishment. However, the caffeine addicted of the city know there’s no better place to get your fix. As long as your willing to put up with the quirks of the owners.

The cafe is a cozy space, varying levels of clean depending on who’s on staff. The walls are beige, with abstract murals of black paint covering the walls. Frequent patrons will notice that the murals seem to expand as time goes on. Every now and then they’ll come in to the walls completely blank, having apparently been painted over, only to start again. Rumor has it that if you squint you can make out swear words, or even bad jokes in the design. Squinting is not encouraged. There is also a shelf of books for customers to peruse or even purchase. Mostly trashy romance novels for reasons no one has ever been able to figure out, as well as joke books, science textbooks, car magazines, and, most bewilderingly, puzzle theory. 

The cafe has 8 owners, usually with only two or three on staff at a time. They all look so similar that most believe they’re related. Some will even call each other “brother” or “bro”, which seems to confirm it, but everyone worries it’d be racist to ask.

Papyrus is usually on staff in the mornings, which is a good thing. He’s a bright and perky presence to start your day with, and he does his best to create a welcoming environment for those on their way to an early morning commute. He specializes in perk ups, something to get help you shake off those last remnants of sleep while preventing those midmorning crashes. He’ll usually try to coax customers into the healthier versions. “REALLY, ALMOND MILK IS MUCH BETTER FOR YOU!” He also is very good at remembering small details about his regulars. Some of them come to depend on him as a daily reminder to take their meds. Now if only he was better at remembering names...he tends to come up with nicknames for people he sees a lot and they stick with him more than their actual names. An absolute sweetheart who keeps the store spotless, but if he tries to get you to sample his latest pastry invention, politely decline.

Sans is a less energetic presence to be sure (he can usually be found asleep and propped up in some corner if no one on shift bothers to wake him up), but he’s also a well-liked staple of the cafe. He has an easy, laid-back small talk that can set even the most agoraphobic introvert at ease, and writes bad jokes on coffee cups. His coffee is mostly pretty basic stuff, but if you know him well and ask him for the secret stuff....well, you’d be be prepared to deal with the fallout. That particular menu option is the last resort of grad students trying to get through their thesis. The effects are somewhere between Red Eye and Speed. One girl reported a full week of being unable to close her eyes, by the end of which she could taste color and was carrying on active conversations in a language that she did not know. It is varying levels of legal depending on who you ask. Just dont narc. And don’t ask in front of his brother. 

Its easy to tell when Red is on the clock, his motorcycle is easily the most ostentatious thing in the parking lot. So much so that he insists on a two parking spot bubble around it to avoid scratches. He also refuses to take off his leather jacket, wearing it over his uniform. No apron. Not a fuckin chance. His customer service is at best ehhh (unless he considers you attractive, in which case, prepare your flirtatious barista fantasies), but the boy makes a pumpkin spice latte so good it should be illegal. Spiced drinks as a whole are his specialty. When fall and winter roll around he brings customers in like flies to honey to get a taste of it, and it make the cafe smell amazing. Don’t tell anyone but he has a habit of “forgetting” to make people pay for their coffee when they look like they’re having a rough time. Not that he’d ever admit it, but he’s kind of a softie. Abysmal cleaning, and he’s usually making drinks for himself on the clock, but once you get to know the guy, he’s a pretty good dude. Also his music taste is fire and the cafe playlist gets infinitely better whenever he’s on staff.

Edge is a different story. While all of them technically own the store in equal parts and no one is legally in charge, it was pretty quickly discovered that mixing Edge with customer service was a recipe for disaster. So he takes on a more managerial role, dealing with finance, shipment, rent, and advertising deals. Everything needed to keep the place afloat. When he’s on shift (and he usually is), he can generally be found in the office unless the place is absolutely slammed. Though he’s not much for dealing with customers, he’s excellent at making gourmet drinks. His skills were made for Instagram. He also has just a biiiit of a soft spot for the kids that sometimes come in,  and may have quietly slipped in some more child friendly options to the bookshelf, as well as a couple action figures that Red swears look familiar. 

If you want a high octane burst without risking your life, Blue is your guy. I mean, the dude’s practically a walking five hour energy. He is more than generous with his definition of what a shot is, and blends in truly irresponsible amounts of sugar and sweetner for an extra kick. Kids naturally love the insanely sweet taste but it is not recommended that parents let them finish a full sized one. If Edge is on the clock he will straight up slap it out of his hands before people start bouncing off the walls. Blue is also incredibly sweet and friendly with the customers, and has amassed a decent sized collection of regulars who only became regulars due to a crush on him. He flirts shamelessly but never lets it go too far.

Stretch likes doing novelty drinks. Did someone say Unicorn Frappucinnos? The weirder and more poorly conceived the better. He also does most of the baking for the cafe. Muffet taught him a lot about pastries back underground, although it took a while to make the transition from spider carcasses to just...you know, normal flour. He switches the menu up a lot when he gets bored of making the same thing, although for some reason corndogs are always an option. The kitchen really is the best place for him. Leaving him unattended on the front tends to lead to miscief, especially if his brother is there to egg him on. He’ll loosely detach his hand only to enjoy the horrified looks when it pops off as he hands a drink to the customer. They get more negative Yelp reviews that way, but a lot of customers enjoy his sense of humor. He has absolutely tried to pull the Salt and Pepper diner bit by editing the playlist for the cafe 

Black is a bit of an odd duck in the cafe. He doesn’t have the patience to sit still long enough for managerial responsibilities. He’s terrible with customer service. His drinks arent bad, but the coffee is as black as his soul regardless of what they actually ordered. Even when forced to make something a little less straightforward he makes it incredibly bitter, because to him, coffee should never be sweet! If you don’t want bitter, don’t get coffee!! some wonder why the others even bother to let him on staff. But Black’s role is vital. Its inevitable that asshole customers pop up in a coffee shop. Entitled, being a dick to either the other baristas or even other customers. And this is where Black shines. Come hell or highwater he can get any customer out in less than a minute with little to no scene, both reducing the time they’re  in the store and the risk that watching the altercation might cause an anxiety spike in one of their customers. He just up and carts them out of the store, then returns a few moments later, quietly checking in on everyone involved to make sure no one was hurt or too shaken up. When asked what happens to these guys the only thing Black will ever say is “NOTHING YOU CAN PROVE”. He also keeps the place spotless. May or may not help Blue and Stretch with the pranks, though he’ll deny it to the bitter end.

While Blue may lowkey flirt with a few and Red may highkey flirt with a lot, Rus is flirting with everyone. No, seriously. Everyone. Not being creepy, but chances are you’re leaving with red cheeks that have nothing to with the hot drink in your hand. He’s fairly popular for precisely this reason, though very few have ever gotten a serious date out of it. The man makes a mean cappucinno, great herbal  teas and has those smoky bedroom eyes. There’s buzz that he’s also the one responsible for the ever evolving mural, though he never confirms it. Rus takes far too many smoke breaks and doesn’t clean worth a damn but is responsible for nearly half of their consistent customer base. He has a sixth sense for creeps. If he sees a date going on where one of them is looking exceedingly uncomfortable, he can effortlessly swoop in and charm the pants off them until the other asshole leaves in frustration. If he sees someone looking nervous he has ways of subtly getting out of them what the problem is. And if he ever gets the vibe that someone is being harassed he may or may not sic Black onto them without batting an eye. Much as he seems not to give a damn about anything regarding work, Rus takes it as a minor point of pride that their cafe is a safe space for people to get away from it all, if only for a couple minutes.

Bonus:

Axe is their maintenance man who comes in whenever equipment breaks, while Crooks is the night janitor who will often come in with his brother on daytime calls. Both of them are a bit too...unstable for regualar shift jobs. Maintenance positions allows them to be on their own if they need to be and generally avoid stressful triggers. Still, Crooks loves the cafe. On his good days he helps Stretch with the baking, and when the day is really slow Blue and Papyrus will teach him how to mix drinks. Axe is a little more grumbly about it but even he admits its kind of a calm space to be in. The man drinks exculsively black coffee though so he kind of misses out on most of the menu. When he’s in a good mood he competes with Red over flirting with customers. 

Special thanks to @jezziconvair who gave me the idea for a lot of the drink specialities and who Tumblr isn’t letting me tag for some reason!

[xuseokgyu]

This might be the longest one yet.......... rip. i had some stories to tell.... :((

My job is to mostly to tell people when they make mistakes lmao. i work in document quality control ? for a manufacturing company, mostly check the inspection paperwork and certificates for the medical/surgical devices. and then have to be like this... is not right. fix this. currently have a lot of prototype parts going through which have some added requirements but also they keep changing the prints so then obviously the paperwork then changes and its just been annoying cuz its redo-ing a lot of paperwork.

yeah, that makes sense and that is part of it sometimes... i also think im just not in the mood for certain genres of music at times lol.

lol yeah it was so funny in the beginning she was watching some mv's and kept sending me screenshots of jeonghan with different hair styles with this message "who is this????" and every single time it was still jeonghan. i was just like lmao you should just assume that its jeonghan at this point. her defense was that he looks really different every time he changes his hair. she can recognize him now at least. the only other ones she can recognize currently are s.coups (her current favorite member overall) and vernon (her favorite rapper in their songs - she really like how vernon raps). shes more rap biased lol.

thank you.. you are only a little late lol my bday was the 11th. the last time i played bingo i spent $40 total over two days (80 games @ $0.50/game) and won zero. its a skill... i only got close to bingo (1 space away) like 3 times total. it was really tragic... at one point the lady sitting at the same table as us was just like wow... i haven't seen you even get three in a row since i've been here (which was like an hour).

We went to the same kindergarten, then i moved away and then i moved back in the 8th grade (i also have known the friend that is getting into svt for the same amount of time since she went to that same school, though her family are basically neighbors with my cousins family, and they are really close, so i saw her a lot more overall but wasn't super close to her until more recently actually, when we went to the same wedding (my cousin's) and starting talking again)

also to help this make more sense (as in why would they remember me lol) my graduating class size at that school was only 22 people, and my cousins also went to that same school. my dad went to that school, the english teacher there had taught my dad when he was in high school, its extreme small town vibes. people would literally just recognize what family i came from and just start talking to me. and i'd just be frantically trying to figure out who they were. like oh god oh god am i supposed to know who this is?? have i met this person before???

actually the wackiest thing is one of my friends from when i moved (big school), her grandma, i found out after we moved back to the small town, used to babysit my dad and her grandmas house was literally a mile down the street from us... you could see her grandmas house from our living room windows. i was just like what?? her cousins also then went to the same school as me. and then we fell out of touch but then ended up going to the same college. where she would be like "i saw you on campus today" and i was just like??? i did not see you, where are you? i haven't talked to you in like 3 years wtf?? i'm not in touch with her anymore but my younger sister is currently roommates with her younger sister in college lmao. oh other bizarre thing... one of my classmate's (from the big school) relatives bought the house we sold when i moved in kindergarten, and idk for some reason a few years after we moved we went back to the old house for something idk, and my classmate was visiting her family at my old house at the same time. we saw each other and we just stared at each other like what are you doing here?? we had moved like hour away (highway travel times) lol so it was just so random. (wow i hope these made sense lol)

the heat was worse in the beginning of summer i think... or i've just gotten used to it lol. there was all that smoke though that blew in from canada a bit ago though. but thats almost become a yearly thing now unfortunately. lol your weather sounds like how the weather is here sometimes - i live in minnesota, we are known for our wildly fluctuating weather. extreme highs and lows.

I love piano in music! I had to learn how to play piano as a kid... my grandma taught (most) of the grandchildren. i'm not very good at it tbh i never liked to practice and i havent played in years lol. we also learned how to play the piano/read sheet music when i went to the big school for music class for a year. I feel like if you are able to buy a little cheap or used keyboard it shouldn't be too hard to teach yourself if you wanted to start?? at least simple songs. I guess learning to read music would be the hardest place to start if you've never read sheet music before?? but thats what cheat sheets are for tbh. write the notes in, write them on the keys whatever works. we had a foldable note cheat sheet thing that went behind the keys and said the name of the note and where it was on the staff behind all the keys. when I was learning i'd be like b b b where is the b im looking for... ah here it is *ding* ok and now c ... c . c. ah ha *ding* and then repeat until you can play at a normal speed lol.

oh hands down its Oh My! best summer song lol i love Oh My! .... You Made My Day is also my fav album... what about you?

also what's ur favorite cold drink (#2)? picked this one cuz I have been buying myself bubble tea like once a week almost uhhh all summer lol the tapioca pearls at this place are so much better than other places i've been to and this place has cheese foam that i have also become obsessed with (tho thats very expensive its an extreme treat myself drink add-on lol) the blended mango with cheese foam... so good.... its like $7 though. today i got the normal mango milk tea which i hadn't had in a while cuz i'd been going through the various types of regular? milk tea (made with different types of black tea - i love black tea i have um a lot of tea i think i have like 15 different types rn). Otherwise I almost always have ginger ale in my fridge lol its great for a lot of things and also just to drink. love ginger ale... i just love ginger honestly.....

Is 1am and I should be sleeping but I wanna answer this before reveal day!!!

Best job description 😂😂 I feel like your job is one that can become automatic very easily so I can see how the changes can be annoying

SCoups and Vernon are definitely the ones with more distinctive faces, they were the ones I recognized better first, same for my father... he knows the names of all the members now but he still messes up the three Js hahah Jeonghan Joshua and Jun always take a while for him to recognize, sometimes Wonwoo too, which drives my sister crazy cause two of her three bias are there 😂😂

These small town vibes are so cool! I love that you have this community and managed to form long lasting friendships!! I basically had the same classmates for ten years and as soon as we graduated I lost touch... I made great friends at college tho The pandemic has been hard, we are respecting our health and haven’t seen each other personally since it all started, but I hope once we can meet again everything will go back to how it was between us

I had a situation sort of similar to yours at school too ahha My mom was and had already been a teacher (P.E.) at my school for years so all the staff and a looot of the older students knew who I was, but I had no idea who those people were hahah To this day almost everywhere we go together we will encounter some old student of hers...

Is so cool that your grandma did that! But I can see how it was more a task than something you truly wanted to do so you probably wouldn’t be very excited heheh I was part of a choir growing up and we had sheet music but our teacher never truly showed us how to read it, I know the basics but is literally like a toddler that just learned the alphabet hahah

Oh my! really is THE summer song I completely agree with you there!! I also absolutely loove the mv and whole comeback seemed really cool

Oohh I only had bubble tea once and I want to drink it again!! I only know of one place that sells it here, it is still a pretty new “concept” so there’s not a lot of shops around... And I never had ginger ale! I’m super curious about it cause I’ve heard it being mentioned in, like, tv series, but I don’t drink sodas so I don’t know if I would break my “diet” for a taste heheh My favorite cold drink is lemon iced tea, the ones we have here are really sweet and kinda “sparkling”? (I don’t know how to say it... is almost like a soda but not really 😅) Even during the winter, we drink it during weekends cause is a “special drink” hahahah not a Brazilian thing, just in my house

[digitalyogesh]

Treatment of acidity

What is the treatment? Treatment of acidity

In solid individuals, the corrosive remaining parts in the stomach with the assistance of the stomach. A hiatal hernia causes the state of indigestion or causticity. During a heartburn, the corrosive can climb to the throat.

The components that can cause indigestion are pregnancy, dozing straightforwardly in the wake of eating a dinner, eating fiery food, drinking espresso or pop and corpulence. This can prompt side effects like indigestion, sickness, an acidic desire for the mouth and a couple of Treatment of acidity different indications. Now and again, causticity can be an i Treatment of acidity ndication of a genuine condition called gastroesophageal reflux infection. In uncommon cases, this condition may even require a medical procedure. Nonetheless like much of the time of heartburn, it tends to be treated with drugs and dietary changes just as way of life changes.

Overall causticity or heartburn can be treated with the assistance of prescription alongside modifications in your eating routine and way of life. An overall doctor may suggest treatment with the assistance of acid neutralizers. These stomach settling agents kill the impact of the corrosive in the stomach. In any case, if stomach settling agents are taken in overabundance they can cause results like blockage or even looseness of the bowels. In the event that assuming the indications turn extreme, there are H2 blocker meds that can assist with treating heartburn. They assist with mending the throat and hinder the creation of corrosive in the stomach.

How is the treatment done?

The best technique to treat acridity is with changes in diet and way of life. Most instances of sharpness are dealt with utilizing these strategies alongside drugs.

There are different prescriptions that are accessible for the treatment of acridity. The specialist will endorse medicine Treatment of acidity based on the seriousness of the indigestion condition. Stomach settling agents like Gelusil, Alka-Seltzers, Rantac and Zantac are recommended to treat acridity. This drug ought to be taken by the specialist’s solution for around 2 to about a month. Various sorts of prescription like stomach settling agents or even H2 receptor blockers, for example, famotidine and ranitidine work proficiently in treating indigestion.

In uncommon situations when drugs don’t have a lot of impact, a medical procedure called Fundoplication is utilize Treatment of acidity d to treat indigestion. General sedation will be managed before the fundoplication medical procedure starts so the patient is oblivious during the medical procedure. The specialist will then, at that point make a cut in the chest or the mid-region and supplement a little cylinder through the midsection. He/she will then, at that point make a counterfeit valve utilizing the top piece of the stomach. The technique will help fix a hiatal hernia and forestall the event of heartburn later on.

Who is qualified for the treatment? (When is the treatment done?)

You are qualified for this treatment:

In the event that you experience manifestations like a swelled stomach, heartburn and an acidic desire for the mouth require prescriptions and treatment for causticity.

On the off chance that you get in shape quickly alongside experience different indications of causticity, you should look for indigestion treatment. Treatment of acidity

Assuming you notice manifestations like indigestion, regurgitating, queasiness and acidic burping, you will require heartburn treatment.

In the event that these indications of sharpness are not treated with prescriptions inside up to 14 days, then, at that point the specialist may suggest a fundoplication medical procedure for indigestion.

Who isn’t qualified for the treatment?

A great many people who experience indigestion are qualified for this treatment with prescriptions. The specialist probably won’t suggest treatment in the accompanying cases:

On the off chance that the indications of heartburn happen just a single time in a week and don’t endure.

On the off chance tha Treatment of acidity t the sharpness condition improves with dietary and way of life changes. There is no requirement for additional treatment.

On the off chance that the prescriptions like stomach settling agents and H2 Blockers don’t work, this type of treatment probably won’t be viable. The specialist may then recommend a medical procedure.

Patients here and there are at a high danger of complexities from medical procedure. The specialist probably won’t suggest a medical procedure if the patient experiences; heart conditions, asthma, osteoporosis or la Treatment of acidity ryngitis.

Are there any results?

There are sure symptoms of the prescriptions just as the medical procedure utilized in the therapy of sharpness. The results include:

One result from causticity drugs is ailing health brought about by mal-assimilation of supplements.

Drugs for causticity can likewise prompt certain lacks like nutrient B-12 insufficiency and even makes one inclined to bone breaks.

Over-utilization of acid neutralizers can prompt results like loose bowels or even stoppage.

A result from this medical procedure could likewise be dysphagia, harm to the stomach and different organ Treatment of acidity s or pneumonia. Patients who additionally experience the ill effects of asthma or osteoporosis can deteriorate as opposed to improving.

What are the post-treatment rules?

It is prudent to make certain adjustments in your way of life to treat and forestall the state of heartburn. Coming up next are the means you should take after post heartburn treatment:

Take the drug in a convenient way as per the rules given by your PCP.

You ought to abstain from smoking. Stand by a few hours prior to resting or dozing subsequent to eating a feast. Rather than eating three major dinners in a day, eat 5 or 6 more modest suppers.

Exercise and stay fit. In the event that acridity is brought about by corpulence, it is fitting to get in shape.

The food sources that you ought to wipe out from your eating routine after an acridity assault are a pop, espresso, liquor, sleek or hot food and acidic food.

What amount of time does it require to recuperate? Treatment of acidity

In a fundoplication medical procedure, the cylinder embedded during a medical procedure will be taken out seven days after the fact. The patient will be released a couple of days after the medical procedure. Recuperation from the method may expect three to about a month.

With a course of stomach settling agents, the treatment should produce results in a little while.

What is the cost of the treatment in India? Treatment of acidity

The cost of fundoplication medical procedure in India goes from Rs 20,000 to Rs 80,000. Though, the cost for prescriptions to treat acridity range from Rs 35 to Rs 100.

Are the aftereffects of the treatment lasting? Treatment of acidity

Much of the time the consequences of a fundoplication medical procedure are perpetual. Notwithstanding, some of the time indigestion can reoccur. It treats the condition and the manifestations are mitigated. Treatment for corrosiveness with drugs is likewise productive however the manifestations can repeat.

What are the options in contrast to the treatment?

The utilization of Homeopathic cures like Argentum nit and Natrum Phos have been valuable in treating the state of gastroesophageal reflux. Regular cures like chamomile tea, apple juice vinegar, and aloe vera juice are likewise used to treat acridity.

nutrient B-1 insufficiency Treatment of acidity

[orange-in-the-overcast]

aaaand the 50 qs for the moonbeam

1. Their age?

77

2. Their sexuality/sexual preference?

Harold, she’s a lesbian.

3. Any siblings/Only child?

She is the one and only Liadon child.

4. Their favourite season?

She’s a big fan of winter, mostly because of the snow.

5. Who were/are their parents/guardians?

Safina and Elric Liadon. Please don’t ask her about them, she will cry.

6. Their gender?

Female.

7. Their date of birth?

Fantasy September 28th.

8. What clothing style?

She generally likes clothes that’re light and airy, and some splash of purple is a must in the vast majority of her outfits. She tends to wear either long skirts or loose pants, as skirts tend to not be very practical for adventuring, she’s come to find. Most of her clothes are fairly conservative, as well, but always cute. And she never goes anywhere without a pair of gloves.

9. What is their favourite food after a break-up?

She’s never had a break-up, but if she did, she would eat an absurd amount of chocolate pudding to make herself feel better. And then feel guilty about it later for eating so much.

10. Their favourite thing to do after a break-up?

She wouldn’t really know how to handle herself. She’d likely just try to bury herself in her favorite books and try her hardest not to stain the pages with all the tears she’d be crying.

11. What happens in the ‘honeymoon phase’ for this character?

She’ll be absolutely beside herself with how much she adores her girlfriend, and everyone around her will know it, too. She’ll constantly dote on her girlfriend with gifts and favors and more cuddles than she knows what to do with. Though she’s shy, once she’s gotten comfortable enough to express her emotions verbally, she will do so openly and often, constantly reminding her girlfriend how much she loves her and how beautiful she is.

12. How many serious relationships have they been in?

None as of yet. She’s a very innocent little moonbeam.

13. What is their nationality?

She’s a moon elf from Shaur.

14. What languages do they speak?

Common, Elvish, Dwarvish, Draconic, and Abyssal.

15. What is their profession/Education?

She doesn’t have a real profession to speak of. The closest she could ever get would just be “noble,” as that alone was more exhausting work than she could live with. When she was young, she was educated at the finest, most exclusive schools her hometown had to offer. At a certain point, though, she switched to homeschooling, and all her education came from private tutors.

16. Their favourite comfort food?

She knew someone back home who made the most wonderful hot cocoa she’d ever tasted. Drinking any other hot cocoa isn’t quite the same, but it still brings up fond memories and makes her smile.

17. What’s a food they hate?

She’s not really a fan of pomegranates. They’re much too tart for her.

18. Their music taste?

She likes softer music, more on the classical or acoustic side. Pianos sound especially lovely to her. If she’s feeling energetic, though, she likes jazzier music she can dance to.

19. Is there a story behind their name/meaning?

If there is, her parents never bothered to tell her. She assumes they just thought it sounded pretty and delicate, and so they gave it to her.

20. Something they do that seems childish to others?

She’s honestly still very childish in everything she does. Her innocence gets the better of her more often than not, and she refuses to do things like swear. She also tends to get very giggly, very easily.

21. What is their all-time favourite TV show?

She doesn’t have TV where she’s from, but if she did, cartoons would be her go-to kind of TV show. Steven Universe would probably be a favorite of hers.

22. What is their all-time favourite movie?

She would honestly, legitimately likes Frozen, though she would never tell anyone for fear of being made fun of. How To Train Your Dragon would also be a favorite.

23. How big is their family?

Only three living members currently— just Reyelle and her parents.

24. Are they close to anyone specific in the family?

She’s not really close to anyone in her family, quite honestly.

25. Have they got any allergies?

She’s allergic to pollen, so she tends to get sneezy and sad in the spring. She’s also secretly afraid she’s allergic to beestings, but only because she’s never been stung by a bee before, so she can’t disprove it.

26. Are they an emotional person?

Absolutely, though she tries to keep it under control as best she can. She’s constantly afraid of her emotions getting the better of her, and when you’re as sensitive as Reyelle, keeping them in check is a constant battle.

27. Do they get angry/lose their temper quickly?

Not at all. If you’ve made Reyelle angry, you know you’ve done something unforgivable. And even then she probably won’t do anything except cry in frustration.

28. What are some of their guilty pleasures?

She likes to sing to herself a lot, but always gets embarrassed if anyone catches her. She will also stay up until 3am reading on a regular basis, and again, gets embarrassed if people catch her up so late, especially if she was in the middle of reading a bad romance novel.

29. Do they have pets? Do they want pets?

She doesn’t have any pets, but she would absolutely adopt any stray animal she saw if she could.

30. Do they like kids? Do they want kids/have kids?

She’s never had the chance to be around kids, but she thinks they’re cute and wants to be their friend. She doesn’t know if she wants them yet, as she knows she still has a lot of her own growing up to do, but it’s something she’d consider for the future.

31. Who’s cuddle buddy are they?

She used to have a cuddle buddy when she was back home, but currently she’s severely lacking in cuddles. Hopefully Talia will change that soon.

32. Do they have any tattoos?

Nah, the concept scares her.

33. Do they have any piercings?

She does have pierced ears. It was a small amount of individuality she was allowed growing up.

34. What is their hair colour? Is it their natural colour?

Her hair is white with light blue tips, and all natural.

35. Do they like musicals?

I think she’d get a kick out of modern musicals. She’d definitely enjoy all the songs.

36. Do they like marmite?

She has no idea what that is, but now she’s curious and wants to learn about it.

37. Do they like glitter?

She loves the look of glitter, though it is a little difficult to clean up.

38. Do they believe in the supernatural?

She’ll believe in anything if you tell it to her convincingly enough, so yes.

39. Have they ever seen a dead body?

She hadn’t ever seen them until recently, but now she’s seen far more than she ever would’ve liked.

40. Have they ever had a near-death experience?

There’s one experience she’s had that she counts as near-death just because it scared her so much.

41. Have they ever broken a bone?

Thankfully, no, and quite frankly she’d be happy to never have that experience.

42. What are they like when they’re drunk/what kind of drunk are they?

She’s a huge lightweight, so give her a single glass of anything and she will immediately turn into a giggly, ultra affectionate drunk. She’ll tell you over and over how beautiful and wonderful you are and how happy she is to have you in her life.

43. Have they ever drunk underage?

She’s several decades overage by now, and she never drank until about her 40s or so. Wine was a fairly common accompaniment to meals at home, but she doesn’t like it all that much.

44. What is the first thing they do when they wake up?

She takes a few minutes to just admire the sunshine coming in through her bedroom window, happy to see it rise again.

45. Do they consider themselves popular?

Not at all. She’s mostly convinced that even the people she’s traveling with right now don’t actually like her.

46. How do they like their tea/coffee?

She’s not one for coffee, but she likes her tea with just a bit of sugar. Peach tea is her favorite.

47. What do they smell like?

Coconut, honeysuckle, and just a hint of new parchment.

48. Are they a virgin?

More virgin than the Virgin Mary.

49. Do they wear glasses/contacts?

She wears cute little round glasses. Her eyes aren’t so great.

50. Are they good at remembering significant dates? Anniversaries, birthdays etc?

If she’s your friend, you can bet she’ll remember everything important to you ever, including significant dates.

[johnboothus]

Is the Summer of Hard Tea Brewing?

What will be the next hard seltzer? That is the multi-billion-dollar question for alcohol producers.

It’s hard to imagine now, but if you’d posed that question this time last year, many in the alcohol industry might have assumed you were asking for the next flash-in-the-pan “innovation.” Now, with sales still surging, it’s overwhelmingly clear hard seltzer is no fad. As the wave of its enormous success crescendos, multiple producers are betting on the next competitor: hard tea, a ready-to-drink spiked beverage flavored in still and sparkling form.

Hard tea is not a nascent subcategory by any means. According to Nielsen data, hard tea sales reached $436 million in 2019, and they’re continuing to grow this year. In the 18 weeks leading up to July 4, hard tea sales surpassed $200 million — almost half of 2019’s total.

This remarkable growth has almost entirely come from two market leaders, Boston Beer’s Twisted Tea (launched in 2001) and Molson Coors’ Arnold Palmer Spiked (launched in 2018), but neither of these brands align with the formula that’s seen so many flock to hard seltzer. Each contains more than 200 calories and over 20 grams of sugar per 12-ounce serving; that’s double the amount of calories of the average hard seltzer, and between 10 to 20 times more sugar.

Many alcohol brands see this as an opportunity — a “better-for-you” beverage in the already-established hard tea subcategory that mimics hard seltzer’s low-calorie, low-sugar formula. With multiple such products already released this year, could this signal that the summer of hard tea is brewing?

Hard Tea: A Hard Seltzer Alternative?

Producers wishing to appeal to health-conscious drinkers currently have two options: compete in the now-saturated hard seltzer space or differentiate. With well-established brands like White Claw and Truly already dominating hard seltzer sales, many producers may feel that offering a hard seltzer alternative is the easier route to success.

“When seltzer became this big story and everybody said ‘the future of alcohol is seltzer,’ we felt as though we were seeing something different,” says Daniel Goodfellow, chief marketing officer at Crook & Marker. “We thought that seltzer was just getting the party started, demonstrating there is such a thing as an alcoholic beverage that consumers can drink and not feel guilty about. But as in every other beverage category, flavor is what’s going to pull them through.”

Goodfellow makes an important point: For regular drinkers of products like LaCroix, hard seltzer’s flavor profile is a familiar one. But for others seeking low-calorie booze, subtle hints of fruit may not be sufficient on the flavor front. If hard seltzer is the alternative to beer, then hard tea is an alternative to hard seltzer.

Crook & Marker currently offers five lines of low-calorie alcoholic beverages brewed from ancient grains, such as quinoa and amaranth. One of its lines, Spiked & Sparkling, closely resembles a hard seltzer (and bears striking resemblance to Truly’s original brand name). The other four — Spiked Tea, Spiked Lemonade, Spiked Coconut, and Spiked Soda — have bolder flavor profiles. The brand’s teas, lemonades, and coconut beverages have been the main drivers of the company’s 300-percent retail sales growth over the past year, Goodfellow says.

Other brands are betting on bolder flavor profiles as a hard seltzer alternative as well. In February, AB-InBev’s craft beer unit, Brewers Collective, launched a new line of products called LQD. Described as Brewers Collective’s “first craft beyond beer platform,” LQD debuted with four spiked products: two flavored green teas, a hibiscus lemonade, and an agave limeade.

Brewers Collective devised these products after in-house market research showed consumers were seeking hard seltzer alternatives at its on-premise locations. “Across the country, consumers were coming into our craft breweries and brewpubs and asking for seltzers, but also asking for different types of beverages,” says Lindsey Willey, director of beyond beer for Brewers Collective. LQD’s teas, lemonade, and limeade have low-calorie, low-alcohol qualities akin to hard seltzers, but offer “a more flavorful or fruit-forward option,” she says.

In June, Rhode Island’s Narragansett Beer launched its own hard tea in collaboration with local lemonade brand Del’s. Narragansett’s CEO, Mark Hellendrung, says the decision to launch a hard tea rather than a hard seltzer came from not wanting to become another “me too” offering in the seltzer space. Hellendrung describes the initial consumer response to Del’s Rhode Island Hard Tea as exceeding the company’s “wildest expectations.” (Narragansett’s Del’s Shandy, a half-lemonade, half-beer is also made with the local brand.)

“Right now, because it’s doing so well, we’ve had to really restrict where we’ve shipped it,” Hellendrung says. (Del’s Rhode Island Hard Tea is currently distributed in nine states, with more markets soon to follow.) “We’re producing a lot more in August and September and we’ll be able to release it full-throttle in September,” Hellendrung adds.

Learning from Non-Alcoholic Beverage Preferences

Tea is not the only non-alcoholic beverage to receive the spiked treatment in the wake of hard seltzer’s success. Many producers have also turned to lemonade and limeade (such as Crook & Marker and LQD), while others are instead adding ABV to coffee and kombucha.

A skeptical take on this trend could be that these brands are hoping for success by virtue of the now- recognizable “hard” moniker. But many producers say there’s strong evidence in the non-alcoholic RTD space to suggest that tea is a particularly potent candidate for spiking.

In July, Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) introduced a 100-calorie, peach-flavored hard tea following in-depth consumer research and over a year of development. “The non-alcoholic iced tea category gives us some clues about consumer preferences,” says John Newhouse, PBR’s brand manager. “In our research, we learned that over one-third of millennial and Gen Z consumers would be interested in trying a sparkling tea drink, especially if it contained a lot less sugar than the best-selling teas on the market.”

Newhouse continues: “The hard seltzer segment is obviously booming and here to stay, so better-for-you alcoholic drinks are proving to have a lasting place in the market. Compiling all of these data points gave us confidence that our lower-calorie, bubbly hard tea could gain traction.”

New York-based entrepreneur Kyle Cooke was also inspired by the popularity of non-alcoholic iced teas when starting his hard tea and spritz cocktail brand Loverboy in 2018. “For me, there’s a huge opportunity for hard tea because if you go into a supermarket or a grocery store, there’s an entire cooler dedicated to ready-to-drink, non-alcoholic tea products,” Cooke says. In contrast, when you browse the alcohol section, there’s “basically one [tea] option,” he adds.

“Twisted Tea has 93 percent of the hard tea market share and it’s gone uncontested for 20 years,” Cooke says. Not only does this prove that tea can succeed as an alcoholic beverage, it also offers a previously untapped opportunity.

Given Twisted Tea’s high-calorie and high-sugar formula, it’s safe to assume that it’s not traditional hard seltzer drinkers who have driven hard tea’s growth in recent years. But with an increasing number of low-calorie options in the segment, such as Loverboy, LQD, and PBR, hard seltzer drinkers could be tempted to switch to hard tea. And with consumers’ healthy perception of tea, a spiked version could perhaps be even better placed than hard seltzer to succeed as a “better-for-you” alcoholic beverage. “That was really the genesis of Loverboy,” Cooke says.

The Future of the “Beyond Beer” Space

The combination of hard tea’s stronger flavors, the popularity of non-alcoholic iced teas, and our perception of tea as “healthy,” make it a compelling contender to compete with hard seltzer. But with the former’s head start in the market, can hard tea ever approach the status of spiked sparkling water, or incite the cultural phenomenon that spawned viral memes and YouTube videos? Some producers say, yes.

“Sparkling water is a $22 billion category right now. Iced tea is a $24.5 billion category,” says Jennie Rips, co-founder of Owl’s Brew, a New York-based company partially funded by AB InBev’s venture capital arm, ZX Ventures. Owl’s Brew offers low-calorie canned “boozy teas,” as well as tea-based, non-alcoholic cocktail mixers. “If you look at that, and look at where spiked seltzer is now, I believe [hard tea] will be a major, major category,” she says.

Owl’s Brew co-founder Maria Littlefield adds, “Over the years, we’ve seen a lot of trends that started non-alc transfer over to alcohol four or five years later.”

For Crook & Marker’s Goodfellow, the question is not whether hard tea can compete with hard seltzer, but whether a range of “better-for-you” spiked drinks — seltzer, tea, lemonade, and low-alcohol canned cocktails — can one day compete as a combined category.

“I truly believe that when the history books are written, 2019 will be the year that everybody woke up to the emerging ‘better-for-you’ alcohol category,” he says. “But 2020 [will be] the beginning of its true maturation into a multifaceted category. Just like any mature category, such as beer, there’s room for everyone in that scenario.”

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