#i appreciate all she has done for me
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i havent been on tumblr (like regularly) for half a year but im glad to see this hellsite still working
#i have been too tired and busy#pretty much lost interest in a lot of things#(like the fact i dont play any of my mobile games anymore)#and my boss/landlord/old neighbor is now on my ass constantly#i nearly lost it when i realized she came into my room when i wasnt here#i am tired all the time bc she has me working three days in a row instead of splitting it up more#so i havent had it in me the clean#she isnt even the owner of the damn house but she insist i have everything clean always#it isnt even that messy and she cant even talk!!!#ive seen her closet and helped her organize it before#i appreciate all she has done for me#but damn does she leave a hole in my chest and stomach constantly#arkons thoughts#also have to pretend to be cis and like an agnostic christian#which is hell#but i had to pretend with my parents too so
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I think it’s so ironic that the Pony Express escapes a lot if not all blame in discussion. I can’t even say I am excused from it but it’s just how hard people circle back to the characters alone without considering the environment they were made to be in.
Why would they design a ship where only two of the rooms lock? Not the bathroom? Not the sleeping quarters? We assume that all the companies in the universe are this shallow and careless to their workers but we explicitly know the Pony Express in extra vile. They are fed processed slop pack they can’t even really cook and the ration of those pack is meager at best. They hired and made people with a plethora of conflicting demeanors and beliefs work together on a mission where cohesion is important if not an outright necessity and punish them for not being happy about it. There’s no social protocols, not chain of command other than Captain’s word/choice and the only way to enforce that is with a literal firearm. They don’t allow them to celebrate freely and even took away leisure activities that would make them less stir crazy. They are only allowed a few hours of sleep despite their being no other real responsibilities or work on the ship, no matter the position or its importance. With any crew, with any level of synergy, this was a powder keg waiting for a spark.
I’m not saying characters that made mistakes didn’t make huge ones, but I think part of the horror is that at least for some (this is targeting Jimathan) those mistakes are partly made by a force of the hand. There’s a running theme of lack of choice and being forced into something and the very nature of how The Pony Express expected them to function plays a big part.
#like even I forget that all actions taken in the game were people trying to remain in protocol outside of Jimmy#Anya couldn’t have jus stolen the scanner and got the gun cause she’s a sensible person and knows she’d be in legal trouble#or get everyone’s credits docked or just hoping that there’s some chain of command for this sort of thing#Daisuke only really acted in accordance to his direct superiors because he’s an intern he wouldn’t know the first thing about protocol or#what to do in any situation. like this is essentially implied to be his first real job#Curly may be the captain but he still has to follow rules and procedures and we see with the letter the Pony Express likely has very shady#and shitty ones. he gives the best not depressing or totalitarian options he can otherwise everything is just his word which aren’t even his#or like him just asserting his position with the gun which he wouldn’t do#Swansea follows the book begrudgingly because he’s trying to stay right and not fall back into who he once was#I feel like it’s not incorporated nearly enough that the environment they were dropped into heavily affected their actions#say there was a single person higher than Curly or a plan of action when a crew member is considered a danger to himself or others#I think it’s fascinating how people will stick to protocol and break when they get scared or to their limit#cause the game shows how normalcy deteriorates and I think discounting what the characters where put through by the company takes a way a#real and scary aspect of what happened to Anya because as a friend Curly didn’t do enough for her at all his comfort was there and he#appreciated but it was a distracted sort of care but as a Captain he didn’t protect her but he’s was a Captain of the Pony Express like what#if they told him to wait to? he still should’ve done something because Anya was actively suffering and Jimmy should’ve been reprimanded but#he’s a captain with orders like the Tulpar isn’t his ship in the same way like#god I wanna explain this in a way that makes sense but the Tulpar is like designed to breed animosity and work on the bare requirements one#needs to get things done that’s not how people work and if anyone deviates or interrupts that it literally has nothing to handle it#it becomes clear that if any social unrest happens why they just say fuck it and give the Captain the gun because if something happens the#blame can easily be placed on the person they put in charge despite what they put them#in charge of like this is just like work place harassment irl because often the perpetrators are not punished but the supervisors for not#stopping them with meetings or cuts or whatever but the environment the company fostered is rarely fixed or blamed#like why was this allowed to occur? and honestly that is because Jimmy did what he did#ask me about this if this is confusing cause I worded it crazy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#the pony express
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Another thing that's already enchanting me on this very spontaneous C1 re-watch is Vex and Percy and going back to the very beginnings with them. When I watched C1 the first time, I missed so many little things that I notice now. Taliesin was very quiet the first couple of games and Percy is really barely a character for the Kraghammer arc, but already there's this little glint of just this fondness every time Laura addresses him as Vex, which she does comparatively often, even if it's still not much. And of course the arrow thing is ALREADY going on, and in episode 15 he rolls a nat20 on a really cool arrow and she smoches him right on the mouth, and it's not much different than when Scanlan or Vax also randomly kissed Percy out of a spontaneous whim a few episodes earlier; at this point they're not in love or anything, it's just a hint of flirtation, nothing serious at all. And yet there is an affection there that is hard to overlook, even this early in the game; something that they will both come to truly realize much later. I can't wait for the rest of it!
#critical role#perc'ahlia#also. i am so fond of early-c1 taliesin's percy#i know i just said he's barely a character yet but there's something very sweet and soft about him all the same. idk man#once the briarwoods arc starts percy gets quite a bit darker for a good long while; this early percy is just... kind of cute#and vex my beloved. it took me quite a bit for vex to grow on me the amount that she has done during my first go-round; i don't know why#so it's a treat to rewatch and get to really appreciate her right from the start#that goes for all of them tbh#c1#adventures in cr
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more rejuv things but its. its just this guy again, im sorry shes all i can draw
#everyday im like i wanna draw :] and then i just end up with this thing on the page#i refuse to draw hands holding. because i cannot and im too lazy to figure it out#oh yea a couple of these i havent posted before because theyre lame to me but ill put them here for now#anyways!!#i was gonna say something about a couple of these but i forgot#oh well#pokemon rejuvenation#does she. lose her ribbon in blacksteeple. i forgot#she still has it to me..#to me her c15 hair tie is a torn part of the ribbon#anyways again. yesterday i finally figured out what the rejuvrp is. very cool stuff im so incredibly intrigued by it#i have no idea whats going on! but it looks so cool ill try to read it more later.#oh right again about the rejuvrp thing. the character designs ive seen are so so so cool i want to draw them so bad#i think i have to ask about that first though and there is! no way i am going to do that!!! i do not want to bother them#and i think my heart would explode from the fear of it all before i even typed the message.#that and im very lazy! theres a very good chance i wouldnt even draw it in the first place#anyways unrelated but i think if i get another comment from someone on something i Will Actually Explode.#i see someone said something and it kills me on the daily. what is happening... thank you.. i appreciate it very much...#sorry to whoever read all of that. um. hi youre really cool and i hope you have a good day/night#i think being on twitter has done something to me i have to leave it immediately. anyways back to twitter#wait actually i should go back to playing rejuv. im still in the grove from when i first posted the gym leader melia au. im afraid to leave#also play pokemon rejuvenation no i will not stop saying that everytime i post one of these
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damn remember when ichigo went full hollow and orihime was terrified of him but when ulquiorra, someone she has only known as a hollow and kidnapped her by threatening to murder all her friends and spent her whole imprisonment intimidating her, asked her if she was afraid of him she said she wasn't
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
LIKE WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT????????
#did he just mindlessly stumble into these parallels#am i really not supposed to think that orihime being afraid of the monster that the guy she's in 'love' with turned into FOR HER#and her not being afraid of the guy who has done NOTHING but MENACE her ISN'T POINTED AND SAYS SOMETHING VERY CLEAR ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIPS#WITH THEM?#DOES THAT NOT PROJECT A VERY CLEAR MESSAGE THAT SHE KNOWS THE SOUL OF ONE AND NOT THE OTHER#THAT SHE CAN'T ACCEPT THE REALITY OF SOMEONE SHE'S ADMIRED FOR YEARS BUT APPRECIATES THE HUMANITY OF A FULL-TIME MONSTER?#ulquihime have a very ''i know i'm a monster but you treat me like a man'' type relationship#this is the pattern of ih scenes they're always Almost romantic lol#ichigo totally losing himself to his darker side in his need to protect her can easily be read as romantic#but then she??? completely rejects him?????????#AND THEN ALL BUT LITERALLY GIVES ULQUIORRA HER HEART!!!!!!!!!#REACHES TO HOLD HIS HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#bleaching#don't get me started about ichigo not administering the final blow with ulquiorra because both he and kubo fucking forgot how zanpakuto wor#ulquiorra could have been purified and gone to soul society and become a regular character but noooooooooooooooo#at least that scene is romantic af#even if AGAIN LIKE I KEEP SAYING an editor needed to be like uh hey sensei. remember. remember what zanpakuto do.#hey sensei. why don't we ever see hollows as souls in soul society. hey.#anyway.
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one of my many guilty pleasures is watching toxic dating shows and it has become standard that all the women have had „work done“ like at least botox, lip fillers and usually breast implants, sometimes a bbl, many have an onlyfans and all of them are aspiring influencers; anyways, weirdly the thing that puts me off the most is the makeup. sometimes they will interview the women in the morning before they got ready and did their hair and makeup and they always look so much better, good even despite the obvious injections and stuff. especially when the lashes are off. they look so silly and the women always, without fail look better without any makeup. what are we doing to our queens…
#rambling#and the men are like ‚i like when she has had work done‘#which proves to me that its more about submission than anything because have you seen these womeb?#they only cast already conventionally attractive women bro you dont appreciate beauty bro#you just want them to spend all their money and mind on looking like a sex doll#because it shows you she has embraced her status as object and decoration next to you#men dont deserve women
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somtimes a boy's just gotta recognize the girl he used to be and acknowledge what she did for him and then move on to keep living his life knowing she's watching proud of what he's done
#i really feel like i am a boy who used to be a girl#and I don't really acknowledge that because it can be really triggering for my dysphoria#but that girl learned about being queer#she has childish crushes on girls and callrd herself a lesbian and learned about the existence of trans people#she did most of the work to get me where i am#and sometimes i feel like she was someone else entirely#and it's a little weird to feel like the boy i am now was never an innocent kid#but that was the girl. she let me become who i am and stepped aside#but i think she'd be proud of what I've done#how far I've come#so i just wanted to appreciate her for a minute#good job younger me. you got me here. i appreciate all the work you did <3#transmasc#ftm#personal#oliver talks about himself again#transgender#please be kind I'm just thinking about my own personal experiences with gender#feel free to reblog though#queer#lgbtqia
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Hm yeah Frimmel is kinda driving me insane nowadays
#IT'S. SO. BEAUTIFUL. AND. SO. TRAGICCCCCC AHHHHHH#himmel was happy to just be a blip in frieren's unimaginably long life! frieren didn't even realize how much that blip meant until decades#after he passed away! SHE'S CHANGING. SO MUCH. IN SUCH POSITIVE WAYS. AND HE HAD SUCH A BIG IMPACT ON IT!!#himmel is the biggest romantic ever like holy shit no one has ever done pining like he has. and it makes him so fucking endearing and cool#he isn't flawless either he's vain & dorky & has made mistakes. I actually really appreciate that all of the og 4 were lowkey weirdos#I totally get why he loved frieren too she's so fucking cool & interesting. I love a lazy yet powerful autistic aroace queen#and omfg the ost is so bittersweet and beautiful just. I'm dreading when the last episode comes out cuz then wtf do I do?#besides read the manga and read more fic and start writing some. the manga has been on hiatus what do I do when I catch up?? someone help me#frimmel
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…
#tw cancer#currently sobbing bc#my former high school classmates and i graduated back in 2015 and still have a whatsapp group together#our form teacher is in too and by now she's already retired… and so has my former english teacher#she gave us his email address last year but i never got to write to him or forgot… i also heard he battled cancer and it hurt sm to think#about bc i loved him sm as my prof#and now i was typing out the email after all this time and ended up thanking him for all his influence bc boyyy he just#he's done so much more for him than he'll ever know. he's the reason i grew to love the english language#and why i had the confidence to write in it and speak it and enjoy it… back then he supported me so much#and gawd im crying so much thinking about the things the english class did for me a decade ago… time fucking passes like this huh#just… teachers honestly never know the influence they have on the kids. can be good or bad but gosh if it's good then it lasts forever#and i guess that is true for everyone.. good people have an effect on you forever. i strive to be kind to have that effect too :') and#appreciate those who did just that for me#i hope he writes back to me.. and i hope he's been well#gawd. tears. yeah anyway just wanted to let this out somewhere#sigh
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Mel for the unhinged character bingo!
yessss YEEEESSSSSSSSS
#ask me#so Mel is in the unenviable position of being a very strong character whose rights I support and whose wrongs I also fully support#BUT the way she's treated broadly in the fandom is so pervasive and so consistent and so frustrating to me that#I am in full -must protect my blorbo- mode with her at all times#-Mel's story is over so the only thing left for her to do is die-#-if Mel dies then J can get together with V and they will appreciate her for her sacrifice bc she died a hero who rejected Ambessa-#enough! enough I say!#what about proving to ambessa that she can take the throne for herself? what about the angst of defying her mother and her home country#and opposing those in Piltover who DO want war and want to raze the undercity#what about the magic that she's heavily foreshadowed to have and how it's different from hextech#and how it directly opposes but also parallels what is happening to Viktor#what about her -friends- abroad and the plot Mel was cooking through all of season 1 that has not been revealed yet#there's so much potential for her to have to confront the fact that J was slowly becoming a monster through season 1#and that she can't ignore the undercity forever#also what if whoever Ambessa says killed her brother comes after Mel too!#it is very frustrating to see Mel get dismissed as dead or evil or irredeemable or whatever when she is consistently#the most interesting person in the room in every single scene she's in and the character who shows the most conviction and change#so yeah i will take a bullet for her she is my blorbo I will despise any character who hurts her#and I would cradle her in my arms if she gave me a chance - which she would never! - but a girl can dream#however I also enjoy leaning into the idea that Mel is perceived as being a devil from the outside - Mel leans into it too when it serves#but it's in direct opposition to her ironclad values and the personality that she keeps hidden a layer down#I genuinely think that Mel will have a happy ending - or at least as happy an ending that an Arcane character can get lol#like I fully believe she will take the throne (Piltover) in the end but I can only guess at this point what that will cost her#I love putting Mel in situations but mainly to play with both how creative she can get and also how fucking far she will go to win#which is ANOTHER thing we know is probably true about Mel but has not been put on display yet#also Mel has already done a great job at separating what she wants for herself as a person from just being Ambessa's daughter#but Mel still deserves to get plenty of great therapy for that situation because OH GOD THAT CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK#also Kino is dead? maybe dead?? at least Mel fully believes he's dead so she needs therapy and hugs for that too#I am super normal about her can you tell
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Oh little people in my phone, we're really in it now 😔😔
#it's lay on my bed yell into mattress hours#I can't tell if I'm reasonably stressed. over stimulated. or emotionally heightened because of the steroid I am on. but#today has been too many things and I feel.#sooooooo done#so done with everything#it raining and I haven't seen the sun in ages. I have bronchitis and haven't been Not Sick in a whole ass month#I have so many things to get done before Christmas which is IN A WEEK JESUS CHRIST#my CAR isn't drivable which SUCKS and it needs new TIRES and probably very expensive ENGINE REPAIRS and#my dad says he can fix them but I still have to take it into the shop just to make sure we know for sure what the problem is but#the it's already going to be in the shop and HES SICK and also like. busy. and doesn't have time to fix car#and so I might as well just pay out the fucking wazooo for them to fix it#but idk how long that will take#and I'm borrowing my grandmas car which is GREAT! like I'm so grateful to have that as an option but also! I feel BAD because it's her car#and she does actually use it and like. I don't want to take that away from her for too long#because then I feel BURDENSOME#and my mom just told me that one of my relatives just passed away and I didn't know her too well but her mom ALSO died last year like#On Christmas Day like very traumatically and I feel soo soo bad for all my cousins who have basically just had the entire Christmas season#ruined for them because they will have lost their mom AND their grandma around that time#and that HORRIBLE like oh my godddddd#and like#this holiday seasons is feeling very weird and different and worse and not BAD But like many things have changed this year and as someone#who does NOT enjoy little changes in routine and appreciates tradition uh. hehe the lines are blurring and it's stressing me outtttttt#and I got home and I had to pee and I look like shit because I've been running around all day#only to realize I left my keys Inside The House and my roomate had locked the door when he went to the gym and#thankfully the gym is a stones throw away from our house but he wasn't answering his phone#so I had to GO THERE. THROUGH THE RAIN. looking like the amount of tired and done that I am. and walk into the gym that is naturally PACKED#because it's right after work. and do the walk of shame past the v friendly gym owner who I haven't seen in MONTJ because I've been SICK#and haven't been able to work out which i ALSO FEEL GUILTY AND BAD ABOUT and#walked past all the Busy Fit Gym People in my normal person clothes to the very back where my roomate was and stand there while he finishes#his silly little reps to get his keys from him
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:’)
#my mom has so much hatred resentment towards me and she has treated me like absolute crap yet she expects me to make her bracelets#most of them she don’t even wear#she throws tantrums all the time and cops an attitude with me on a regular basis#she acts so ungrateful#she has told me she doesn’t care about me making her bracelets and a few years ago when I baked her a cake and I forgot a task#and she screamed she didn’t have to appreciate it and left me with#bruises on my arm#At 18 y/o she has strangled me once again when I tried to reason with her while trying to help her with the vacuum#tonight I had enough of her and my sister being assholes that I lost my temper and whipped my popsicle on the ground (washed it off + ate i#I shouldn’t have done it but my mom screaming in my face while ridiculing and dehumanizing me for troubling thoughts I have always had#Hypocritical since she throws tantrums on a daily basis#She will act like I am lazy and gaslight me if she doesn’t get her way#She is so possessive and entitled she expects me to cater to her every whim while being so nasty and rotten to me
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"reading under the red hood and it's pretty good i think" - jason todd fan who has only seen the cartoon adaptation of under the red hood
#getting my hands on the comic for utrh is cracking my entire brain open about werewolf fic like you don't understand#the cartoon movie was pretty tight but the comic is more robust. and yall the themes for werewolf fic...they're all coming together#now if only i could write the girls fighting FR I'M TOO SOFT YOU GUYS OTL#i'm just feeling insane over the first confrontation with bruce and how Jason tells him that 'gotham is evil'#and 'you have to fight her where she lives' and 'i live there' LIKE#it's only fueling my crazed impression that the end to Jason's philosophy has only two ends#when he's done what he's set out to do and rid the world of evil by cutting it out (which is futile; blind and toothless etc but details)#either: he changes his philosophy and becomes the very type of villain he hates or he dies himself. because he also deserves death#'i live there' ARE YOU KIDDING ME???#sorry if this is Not News to people or if Jason has had some serious growth vis a vis this entire mindset but like.#I'M INSANE ABOUT IT. I'M CHEWING ON IT FOREVER#and bruce is the wrong person to try to sway Jason off this path. theres way too much baggage too much history too many complicated feeling#but...tim...? >.>#tim i think has enough 'this is not my philosophy this is company policy and i'm the worlds okayest employee' energy to eventually do it#like obviously stuff would need to Happen for it to be possible lol but you guys. this is what made jaytim so tasty to me in the first plac#tim being capable of meeting jason halfway like bruce can't; tim being able to hold the conversation with jason without it collapsing#tim having rebuttals to jason's arguments that might actually get somewhere with him eventually...#i'm not saying it would be fast or easy or even make sense in canon lmao but think there's a lot of fic potential there owo#like tim's vicious streak is something jason would appreciate. :3c#local jaytim fic author rambles about jaytim in the tags once again more at eleven lol anyway#jason todd#dc
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"Rick is the better scientist!" "actually, Reagan is the better scientist because-!!" shut up shut up shut up we all know the best fictional scientist is ALPHYS from UNDERTALE
#jeremy hater moment#hate hate HATE looking up reagan on anything and seeing her compared to rick like leave my girl alone !!!#STOP BASHING HER!!!#istg anytime i see rick and reagan in the same post i'll think ''god help me''. this is making me hate r&m fans so bad#where was i. oh yeah#in comparison to both of these characters i personally think alphys comes out on top both in a better written and better story arc stance#like don't get me wrong!! i love reagan!! but alphys will always be first in my heart#alphys is an amazing example of the ''good person who's done bad things and has to live with themselves'' character archetype-#what with the amalgamates and locking them away and hiring mettaton to stage stuff for the human just so alphys could be apart of it all-#and her arc about forgiving herself and finally giving the families closure and bringing their relatives back home and confessing-#what she had done and just. overall- everything about her story and her time interacting with frisk and undyne and everyone-#it's amazing how toby fox created this- this AMAZING little dino gal and wrote her with so much love and. just. AH!!!#alphys is. an amazing character. and i wouldn't have had her story go any other way.#(also if any of the details here are inaccurate please be nice 😭 i haven't replayed undertale in fuck knows how long)#like i said i think she comes out on top for any fictional (mad?) scientist in any media tbh. she's so sillay ♡#(sorry to reagan. even if i love her character and overall just. her in general i'm giving alphys this one. she's the og 💥‼)#one last thing: outside of everything i've mentioned alphys is just SUCH a charming character overall !#alphys appreciation club 4eva *peace sign*#(also i think reagan and alphys should meet and become friends right... neow!!)#(should i tag rick and reagan??? i'll tag em for organizational purposes)#reagan ridley#rick sanchez#tw rick and morty#<- for blacklist#inside job netflix#im not tagging r&m LOL#alphys undertale#undertale#dr alphys#this is ok to reblog by the way
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife�� I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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#my son is almost 5 and is at a stage where he asks constant questions#about everything all of the time#and it’s fine I do my best to answer what I can and we look up what I can’t and it’s fine#but he has also been asking a lot about his extended family#people he only sees sometimes as well as people he knows have passed away#right now I’m listening to him quiz his dad on every single family member he has and asking “did they die? are they dead?’’ afterwards#he just heard a name he recognized and said “oh yeah they DIED’’ super loud and confidently#I’m honestly surprised he didn’t follow it up with ‘do you miss her? because she died? how did she die? are you super sad?’#like he does with me every time we have this talk which is every night now#he’ll also ask about things that person liked and what they liked to do and stuff and it’s very sweet#he just also makes me cry a lot#i appreciate him wanting to know more about his family and stuff#it’s just hard sometimes because he will ask a really big question out of the blue and as I’m trying to figure out how to answer#he’ll either move onto a different topic or keep asking the question again and again until you can answer#we talk about dying A LOT#he’s very curious about it#I knew this stage was coming so I’ve done my best to prepare for it but I still feel dumb a lot when I can’t answer things
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