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forsakenmissives · 2 years ago

Text

Bird on the Wire

Merlin Wyllt and Arthur Pendragon are office enemies, with Arthur being Merlin's boss from hell, always sending his work back to him with disapproval and disappointment. Merlin wishes for nothing more than to see Arthur keel over, and he tells OnceAndFutureKing – his best friend in the popular mobile game Excalibur Online – as much. Of course, he gets the shock of his life when he and OnceAndFutureKing finally meet, only for Merlin to discover... his online best friend is the same awful boss he's been complaining about? Merlin has managed to avoid getting fired from his job at Avalon Inc so far, but it seems his luck has finally run out.

Rating: T

Word Count: 11.6k

Full text and author's notes under the cut.

Or, read on AO3.

A/N: My gaming experience consists of otomes, osu, Minecraft, and Genshin Impact. I have no clue what I'm talking about when I write about their quests and whatnot. This fic is actually inspired by a manga, but hopefully this is different enough that it's not an exact copy...? I don't know. I just wanted to get out another fic. I feel like I've been in a rut when it comes to fic writing, so I'm just getting out what I can, LOL.

...

“I should just quit. My boss is seriously from hell.” Merlin hit send without a second thought, before a slime hopped across his path, and he raised his staff to strike it with magic.

His companion, OnceAndFutureKing, laughed, or at least typed LOLOLOL. “That bad?” He swung his sword, the weapon making a swooshing noise as he did so. “You should quit.”

“He’s really the worst,” Merlin agreed. They stopped, and Merlin turned to King. “He makes me redo everything I submit! I can’t actually be that bad.”

“Too strict.” King swung his sword. “I say quit.”

Aloud, Merlin sighed, rolling over in bed, while his avatar stood idle. “Can’t,” he finally typed. “The pay is too good. But I still hope my boss dies, LOL.”

King LOLed again too. They continued on with their quest, reaching the next checkpoint. From the corner of his eye, Merlin watched the world chat, but it was mostly the same old same old. He looked at his HP before turning to King. “I think we can finish another lvl.”

“Yusss.” King’s avatar, a (rather cute, in Merlin’s opinion) brown bear in shining silver armour, donning a red cape, swung his sword, and Merlin bit back a smile at the habit. They’d had a lull in their questing, the levels getting suddenly harder once more, so they instead spent time doing 1v1 and completing side quests and events, but they finally racked up enough points and upgraded weapons to take out the equally upgraded monsters. Now, they ran headfirst into the abandoned castle that lay before them, ready to continue their journey.

Merlin tossed his phone onto the bed beside him, burying his face in his pillow and sighing. Some time spent playing Excalibur Online after the worst experience of his life – work – was exactly what he needed. King was a great partner also, good at the game and fun to talk to. They’d been playing together for about seven months and while King had originally been a complete noob, his in-game skills now threatened Merlin’s, OnceAndFutureKing always appearing next to CourtSorcererEmrys – Merlin’s username – on leaderboards. A smile took over his face as he thought about their first meeting. The little bear had been running into the next fight, sword glinting in the bright sunlight, but he would only last a couple seconds before his avatar would disappear and pop up once again at the last checkpoint. After the third try, Merlin stepped in, blocking the monster’s next hit.

“New?” he asked.

OnceAndFutureKing remained silent.

Merlin raised his staff and a bolt of lightning struck the monster dead on, a critical hit, and soon, the path opened up to them once more. “The levels get really hard, right?” He started down the path, OnceAndFutureKing still silent but following behind him. “You need to stay behind your max lvl. Fight smaller enemies or do 1v1.” Behind his screen, he smiled and added, “Noob.”

“WTF is a noob?” OnceAndFutureKing finally spoke. “Also I’m deleting this soon.”

“You’re a noob,” Merlin replied, “and doooon’t. The quest gets more fun from here.”

“Hm,” OnceAndFutureKing said. Then, “Not a noob BTW.”

“Did you google it?”

OnceAndFutureKing didn’t reply. Merlin bit back a laugh, then suggested they continue on questing together now. “I’ll 1v1 you if you need more pts,” he added.

“Ok.”

And so they went, and Merlin found himself grinning the longer they played. OnceAndFutureKing didn’t say much, but that was alright because Merlin had enough to say for both of them, like how rude the customer on the phone was or how, at lunch, the newbie spilled an entire bowl of soup down Merlin’s front, or how when Merlin went to make dinner, he was all out of the main ingredient. Finally, his eyelids were growing heavy, and he slipped up more often than not.

“It’s late,” King said.

“Yeah,” Merlin replied.

“Thx for your help.” King swung his sword, and his red cape fluttered in the breeze. “Can I add you?” Merlin agreed and added him back, and they’d been questing partners ever since.

“Do this again.” Arthur Pendragon dropped the print-outs Merlin made on his desk, nearly knocking over Merlin’s tea and sending his pens rolling off his desk. “The colours don’t fit the theme and the target audience is unclear. Clean it up and try again.”

Merlin met his supervisor’s sharp eyes with a glare of his own. “Geoffrey said it was alright.”

“Mr Monmouth can barely see a millimeter from his face,” Arthur replied. “Besides, he’s not the one in charge of you and this project.” He leant in closer, so Merlin could see the varying shades of blue in his eyes. “I am.”

Merlin grumbled but acquiesced, turning away from Arthur to pull up the file once more. He heard Arthur shift behind him and then the sound of his shoes that probably cost three times Merlin’s pay on the wood floor. Merlin squinted at his computer screen before Arthur said, “And I know you enjoy doing things at your own pace, but for Christ’s sake, Merlin, remember this is a job. Send me the new design by midnight please.”

The “please” was more spat out than said, and Merlin made a face at his screen. “Yessir,” he replied, not turning around. Arthur didn’t reply, and Merlin wondered if he finally pushed the great, prattish Arthur Pendragon to the edge, but after another couple of seconds, the clicking of his shoes rang throughout the room once more. Merlin sighed, shoulders dropping, only for them to go right back to his ears when he checked the time and saw it was already six. Merlin had planned to work overtime, but not past seven, and he knew he’d be working up until the last minute on this stupid flyer. Once again, he sighed and just barely stopped himself from slamming his head into his desk.

At eleven, all the lights had been shut off, and Merlin had even turned off the lamp at his desk, finding the colours more accurate when it was just the glow of his computer screen. He leant back in his chair, legs stretching out under his desk and arms reaching above his head. When he tilted his head back, he saw another light on – Arthur’s office. The prat had his head low, curved over documents scattered across his desk, and he had a pen trapped between his teeth.

Merlin sent him a glare, though it went unnoticed, then, when an alert popped up on his monitor, he got back to work.

Five till midnight had Arthur at Merlin’s desk, now curved over him instead of documents. Merlin swallowed as his supervisor studied the design over his shoulder. His cologne was still a strong scent in Merlin’s nose, even after a full day at the office, and Merlin was itching with the need to get out and away. Finally, Arthur took a breath and stood up straight. “Well,” he said, “it’s not terrible.”

Merlin’s jaw dropped. “Not terrible?” he cried. “It’s ‘not terrible’?” He shoved his chair back, running over Arthur’s foot in the process, making the man shout, but Merlin didn’t care, rising from his seat. “You are evil, Arthur Pendragon! I should file a complaint – I should sue you! This isn’t work! This is torture!”

Arthur was still wincing, hands fists at his sides, but at Merlin’s words, he froze, studying Merlin with a curious expression. The sudden change had Merlin stuttering mid-rant. Oh. He’d really done it this time. Arthur was actually thinking through the logistics of firing him, who would take his place, when to give him his pay, if there were any other openings needing to be filled. Okay. Merlin was fucked.

He was bracing himself for his inevitable dismissal, but all Arthur said was, “Just send me the file, Merlin. And don’t talk to me like that again. Hear me?”

Swallowing his shock, Merlin nodded quickly. “Yes, Mr Pendragon, sir.”

Arthur scoffed. “We both know you don’t mean that, so don’t call me that again.”

Cautiously, Merlin let a smile appear on his lips. “Yeah.” He took a seat once more, avoiding Arthur’s foot when scooting his chair back in, and Arthur watched as he sent him the file. “Anything else?” he asked, heart still racing just a bit.

Arthur sighed. “No, Merlin.” He placed a hand on the back of Merlin’s chair, and Merlin swore his finger brushed against Merlin’s collar, but then he pulled away, and left with a quiet, “Goodnight, Merlin,” tossed over his shoulder.

Merlin rubbed the back of his neck. “Goodnight, Arthur,” he replied, but the man had already gone back into his office, the door shut and locked behind him.

Work went more smoothly the next day, though it still wasn’t great, and while Arthur not pestering him was a blessing, it was at the same time awful because it was clear Arthur was instead avoiding him. Very strange.

Merlin, of course, told OnceAndFutureKing all about it while they played Excalibur Online together. This time, another of Merlin’s online friends joined them, DruidKnight having met him a couple months after Merlin first started playing, then stumbling upon him and King while they were questing, only to make their duo a trio. DruidKnight hadn’t been online as much, busy with A levels, which both Merlin and King emphasised the importance of, though for different reasons.

“It’s just what’s best,” King had said, while Merlin put a lot of exclamation marks and said, “Succeed so you don’t have to work under a demon boss!”

DruidKnight agreed with his own round of exclamation marks.

Now, the three of them were completing a side quest. “Did u c abt the guilt meetup?” DruidKnight asked.

“?” King swung his sword.

“Are you meeting your guild?” Merlin asked. DruidKnight was their friend, but he was in a guild with a few other people. Merlin had thought about joining one himself, but he was content to play as he did now, by himself or with King and the occasional pop in from DruidKnight.

“I think so…,” DruidKnight said. “U n king should meet!”

“?” King swung his sword again.

“U guys r just rly close… and close in age…” DruidKnight waved his own sword. “U should!”

“Are you calling us old?” Merlin asked.

“Not u,” DruidKnight replied. “U r cool. But king…”

“HEY,” King said. “But I wouldn’t be against it. WBU, Emrys?”

Merlin hesitated, fingers hovering over the keyboard.

“We don’t have to,” King quickly added. “Only if you want.”

“I do,” Merlin replied finally. “I just don’t want it to mess with our gaming.”

“It won’t,” King promised. “DM?”

DruidKnight waved his sword again. “Pls dont forget me emrys….”

Merlin laughed. “OK,” he replied to King. Then, to DruidKnight, he said, “Of course not. You are my first knight!”

DruidKnight’s cape fluttered, and he waved his sword. “Yayyyyy!”

But anxiety still weighed heavy in Merlin’s stomach, even as they cleared more levels and even managed to get some rare drops from the monsters. When DruidKnight finally said he had to get some studying done, Merlin was ready to use that as an excuse to leave, but King stopped him, picking up the meetup conversation Merlin had been ready to abandon.

It wasn’t that he thought King was catfishing him, and he certainly wasn’t catfishing King, but Merlin had the worst foot-in-mouth syndrome, and King was arguably the best friend he had at the moment ever since moving away from his small hometown of Ealdor and leaving behind Will, his first best friend, now most everyone else being work colleagues, and he heard horror stories of meetups gone awry, where the players lost the chemistry they had before and now their profiles read Last visited 4y ago. Merlin didn’t want that.

But at the same time, the idea of a meetup was exhilarating. For as many meetup horror stories he heard, he found just as—no, twice as many that went well. One even happened to Will, who had introduced him to Excalibur Online right before Merlin had moved away to Camelot, the other likely running high on endorphins still from his successful meetup. She’d been a girl named Freya, who apparently lived only in the next town over, which was still a good ways away, but shockingly close for someone online. That’d been a little over two years ago. Last Merlin heard, Will was thinking of proposing to her.

He didn’t want to marry King or anything like that, but such a successful meetup still had him forcing down his nerves. “When works for you?” he asked.

“I’ve got a big work thing coming up,” King admitted. “But maybe after that? A month and some from now?”

Merlin nodded, though King couldn’t see him. “Me too. How about a month and a half from now? We can talk about it more when the time is closer.”

Their avatars idled for a moment, and Merlin wondered if King was getting cold feet too. A breeze made King’s cape lift, the red splaying out behind him, and Merlin spun his staff. Finally, King said, “Sounds good,” and Merlin let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding.

They continued to play Excalibur Online like nothing had changed, though Merlin got sweaty palms every time he thought about the looming meetup. DruidKnight joined them sometimes, and they’d clear more levels before he’d disappear once again.

In real life, meanwhile, Merlin found himself hating Arthur Pendragon more and more, the man always having some complaint about Merlin’s work, always some new order more challenging than the last.

“I’m not the only person in the department!” Merlin complained to King after they completed a side quest. “And I know I’m not that bad at my job! I know it!”

King was quiet before he swung his sword and said, “Maybe it’s favouritism.”

“Favouritism? LOL,” Merlin actually laughed aloud, “maybe he’s a sadist.”

“Think about it,” King said. “He trusts you to get the work done, and maybe he sees your potential.”

Merlin worried his lower lip between his teeth. “Maybe,” he finally agreed. “But I still think he could give more to other people. I’m only one person.” King swung his sword, and that’s when Merlin remembered. “You’re a supervisor, right?”

“Yes…”

“I bet you aren’t half as bad as mine. In fact, working for you would probably be paradise in comparison to this.”

“Maybe LOL,” King said. “Not everyone is happy with me.”

“Really?” Merlin rolled over, holding his mobile over his face. “What happened?”

“Got scolded big time by my subordinate,” King answered. “It was really humiliating. But it was a nice wake up call IG.”

“You didn’t fire him, right?” Merlin asked, thinking of his own blunder in front of Arthur. “As a supervisor, you don’t know just how much stress we’re under. You only get our finished products.”

“I didn’t fire him,” King said. “I probably should’ve, but we’re all hauling right now trying to meet deadlines. I don’t think I blame him.”

“Good,” Merlin replied. “Always sucks when things get that bad, but it’s nice that you’re so forgiving.”

King swung his sword, and the conversation came to an end. Together, they went back to fulfilling the main quest.

Merlin watched with narrowed eyes as Arthur stopped at Gwen’s desk. Gwen had been the one to show him the ropes when he started working at Avalon Inc, and she was the one coworker of his he ever considered inviting over for a cuppa. Of course, he never actually did, but he thought about it sometimes, and he thought about it again watching Arthur say something to the woman, which had her glancing over at Merlin, only to see him already looking their way. Flustered, Merlin turned back to his computer. Maybe he could ask another day.

He was going over another’s presentation when he felt a present at his back. Merlin stopped typing and looked up, only to see Arthur standing over him. “Hi,” Arthur said.

“Hullo,” Merlin replied.

“What’s that?” Arthur asked, nodding at Merlin’s monitor.

“Um,” Merlin said, and then, “a presentation.”

“Yours?” Arthur leant forward, and Merlin felt heat along the back of his neck. “Doesn’t look like your work.”

“It’s not,” Merlin confirmed. “It’s Gilli’s.”

“The new intern’s?” Arthur asked, and Merlin nodded. Something like a ghost of a smile flickered across Arthur’s face before he straightened up and patted Merlin’s shoulder. “Kind of you, but I know you’ve got plenty of your own work to do. Best to be doing that instead, yeah?” He caught Merlin’s gaze, and Merlin took a short breath before nodding.

“Right,” he said, “yeah. Right. Yeah.” He nodded again. “I’ll just tell him it’s good, and—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Arthur cut him off. “Just tell him to send it to me as is. I can look it over.”

“I’m sure you’ve got your own work too,” Merlin replied, but Arthur just shook his head.

“Don’t get dedicated now, Merlin.” His hand slipped from Merlin’s shoulder, and Merlin found him oddly bereft without its warmth. “Tell him to send it to me as is, then send me your own work when you’re done with it too.”

Merlin nodded, ducking his head and licking his lips.

Arthur stood there for another second, and Merlin wondered what else he had to say. When he met Arthur’s eyes once more, he was surprised to see the slight flush in the other’s cheeks. Even the tips of his ears seemed to be turning red. “About your work, actually,” he began, and oh, so he was turning red from annoyance, great, “I just wanted to say you’ve improved a lot.”

Merlin blinked.

“So, uh,” Arthur cleared his throat, “keep up the good work.”

“Um,” Merlin said.

“That’s all.” Arthur nodded once to Merlin, then again to himself, before he pivoted and practically marched back to his office, leaving Merlin to stare after him, his own cheeks a bright red, matching those of Arthur’s. Merlin blinked again, rapidly, before looking toward Gwen’s desk. The woman sent him a smile and a thumbs up. Merlin tried to smile back, but he was sure it appeared more as a wince. Still, Gwen kept her thumb in the air until Merlin turned back around to get back to his work.

Since then, Arthur hadn’t done anything weird like he had that day, but he did give Merlin less work, and he also hadn’t sent many things back to Merlin to be redone. Then, the main stressor at the office, a project that would be seen by the CEO – though, Merlin rolled his eyes, that was only Arthur’s father, so maybe it didn’t matter that much – was completed, and when Arthur got back from the meeting, pink in the cheeks and with a forehead shiny from sweat, he stopped by Merlin’s desk and said, “Good job.” At least that’s all he said, and Merlin found himself breathing easy by the time he retreated into his office.

Merlin thought, then, that his life was looking up, but of course he had to be proven wrong when he stepped into a little cafe on his way to work. He thought he had a simple order, but the barista, a teenager in a black apron with curls Merlin wondered if he’d have should he ever let his hair grow out, glared at him the entire time with piercing grey-blue eyes, like storm clouds, and when Merlin stumbled on his way to grab his drink from the boy, the little prick clicked his tongue at him. Merlin refrained from doing something stupid and immature back.

He gave him a two-fingered salute on his way out the door.

Of course, as soon as the door swung shut behind him, a lorry thundered by and sprayed mud all over him, ruining his clothes and forcing him to be thirty minutes late to work. Merlin wiped the same fingers he used to flip off the kid across his eyes, clearing away the mud, and cursed karma. The kid had started it anyway.

By the time he was able to get a new lid on his tea, the drink had gone cold, and Merlin found himself making a new cup altogether at work, feeling his cheeks heat at his tardiness. Still, he liked having something to drink while he worked, and he wasn’t going to stop now.

He was more than ready to collapse into bed and play Excalibur Online when the day ended and he finally got to go back home. DruidKnight and King had already started playing, and Merlin rushed to catch up with them.

“DruidKnight,” he said, “you are so sweet… pls… never change. Don’t let the world harden you… pls…”

“Ofc not,” DruidKnight replied. “Did smthng happen?”

“What didn’t happen today?” Merlin answered. “First I got disrespected by a kid then I had to be late to work then—.” Merlin set his phone down. Well, work wasn’t that bad. He backspaced, the message ending at “work”.

“Sounds rough,” King said.

“I didn’t even get to enjoy my drink,” Merlin whinged.

DruidKnight killed a slime that crossed their path. “Need 2 raise my hp,” he said. “Hold on.”

They went over to a fire pit, and Merlin gave DruidKnight some of his raw ingredients so that the boy could make more food items with higher HP. DruidKnight waved his sword. “Yesssssss,” he said. “Thx ilu emrys.”

“YW,” Merlin replied, smiling at the boy’s warmth. He was surprised DruidKnight hadn’t wanted to join in on his and King’s meetup plans, but he did worry a bit about DruidKnight’s attachment to him. Merlin might only be twenty-three, but there was an ocean between that and DruidKnight’s teenagehood. Still, he figured this was an adolescent thing, and DruidKnight would grow out of it eventually.

When the food was done cooking, DruidKnight tossed Merlin two pieces, and Merlin quickly added them to his inventory. “Thanks,” he said.

“Np,” DruidKnight replied, before tossing one to King too. “Ok we can keep going now.” He added a little happy face at the end, and in real life, Merlin smiled. They beat some low-level enemies, DruidKnight challenged King to a one-on-one, and then they went on to the next level.

They were collecting the enemies’ drops when DruidKnight continued: “Oh when r u guys mtg? Thats gna happen soon right?”

“Yeah,” King replied, while Merlin spun his staff. “We don’t have a date yet, but we’ll figure it out soon.”

“Hav fun,” DruidKnight said. “Hav u guys met any1 from EO b4?”

“No,” they both answered.

DruidKnight hummed (Hmmmm) before he waved his sword. “GL then. Its rly fun.”

“Have you met your guild yet?” King asked.

DruidKnight waved his sword again. “Soon,” he said.

“GL to you too then,” King replied, then swung his sword.

“Thx,” DruidKnight said.

They continued with their quest.

Merlin started when he saw a DM from King. “How about this weekend? Saturday?” the message read. Merlin swallowed, fingers shaky when he replied in agreement. King sent a happy face, and Merlin watched his avatar block a blow from a goblin’s staff, while DruidKnight did a magical attack, getting a critical hit in, though the monster still lived. Merlin’s own avatar, human-like, though he had wings like a falcon and wore a witch’s hat, stood idle, and he rushed to join the fight, especially when some lower-class mobs spawned, nuisances to the main fight.

It was Tuesday night, meaning there were really only three days between now and when Merlin and King would meet. Sleep did not come easy when he finally put his phone down and went to bed.

Saturday came much too soon. They’d agreed to meet at a Starbucks a couple blocks away from Merlin’s flat, and he was surprised to find that King lived a similar distance from it. So, they were in the same area. Briefly, he wondered if perhaps they’d met before, but Camelot was such a huge city it was hard to believe. If they had, Merlin was certain it’d only have been in passing, getting on or off the tube, brushing by each other on the way home. Nothing remarkable.

He fiddled with his neckerchief, a bold fashion choice suggested by Gwaine, another one of his coworkers and one not meant to be trusted, but Merlin was in such a panic by the end of the day Friday he was willing to listen to anyone. Besides, Gwaine was the only one who seemed to have any luck on their floor in scoring dates. Even Arthur seemed to be perpetually single, though Merlin knew not a small amount of his female colleagues had their eye on him. Plus, Merlin would rather get struck by lightning then hit by a bus before he went to Arthur for advice.

Now, he was regretting the choice, as in his worry, he began to overheat, and he was sure his cheeks and ears were turning a furious red. At least his neck was spared, hidden as it was under the patterned fabric.

He continued to wait, drinkless and alone at a table, which earned him an annoyed look from one of the baristas, and he was considering giving up and going home, when the door jingled. Panic surging once more in his belly, Merlin kept his eyes on the floor, until a pair of sneakers entered his sight. He looked up.

It was that fucking kid from the cafe! He blanched, but the other didn’t seem to notice, as all he did was hold up his mobile and go, “Do you play Excalibur Online?”

“Um,” Merlin said, and then, “yes.”

“Oh,” the kid replied. “Cool.” He took the seat across from Merlin.

This kid was a supervisor…? A manager, for real? He couldn’t be older than sixteen, maybe seventeen. Merlin swallowed and drummed his fingers on his thighs.

“So,” he began, “did your project go well?”

The kid looked up, eyes still like the sky before it rained, and Merlin swallowed before sticking out a hand. “Um, the name is Merlin. Nice to meet you.”

“Mordred.” The kid took his hand, giving it a hesitant shake. “Pleasure.”

Another moment passed before Mordred leant back in his chair. “Project…?”

“You mentioned it before,” Merlin said.

Mordred appeared to think for a moment before his eyes widened and he nodded. “Yeah. It went well. The costume for one of them didn’t fit, so we had to start that one over, but otherwise, everything turned out okay.”

Costume…? Was this kid part of a theatre group? Merlin thought about all of the times King talked about work. It never sounded like he did theatre, and he never gave any indication he enjoyed the arts – at least, not enough to participate in them – but he supposed King might have assumed Merlin wouldn’t understand. Merlin nodded.

“Ah,” he said. “That’s good….” He glanced around, then pointed to the counter, where a queue had started to form. “Um, maybe we should get our drinks? Or we could go somewhere less crowded?” It felt weird to offer, but this entire meetup was turning out completely different from what he expected.

Mordred frowned, tilting his head. “Shouldn’t we wait for the other members first?”

“Huh?” Merlin stared blankly at Mordred. “I thought it was just the two of us….”

Mordred’s frown deepened. “But it was LastHighPriestess and WarlordSunGod who planned this?”

Merlin blinked before it clicked. “This isn��t—I think you have the wrong person. Are you here for a guild meetup?”

Mordred nodded, finally losing the frown. “Are you not part of the Old Religion guild?” Merlin shook his head, and Mordred ahhed before rising from his seat. “Sorry then. Um. Good luck with your meeting.” He nodded his head to Merlin one more time before the door jingled as another group of people walked in, and this time, Mordred aha’d in recognition. Merlin refrained from burying his head in his hands.

He heard Mordred say something to one of the people in the group, a woman with bleached blond hair and heavy eyeliner, looking much more like the kind of person Mordred would hang out with, and Merlin sighed before sinking deeper into his chair. He once again thought about going back home and tried his best not to feel like someone stood up on a blind date. Unsure of his next move, he pulled out his mobile once more, deciding to play some Excalibur Online, thinking it might soothe his nerves as it often did.

It did not.

Upon opening the app, the first thing he saw was a private message from King.

“Something came up at work,” it said. “Do you mind waiting ~45 minutes?”

Merlin did, but at least he understood sudden changes in work schedules. He shot back a reply, telling King that it was fine, and tried to ignore the eyes he sometimes felt on the back of his head. He knew if he turned around, he’d see Mordred looking over at him. Kids these days, Merlin thought, feeling not unlike an old man, so fucking weird.

After another handful of minutes passed, Merlin started up Excalibur Online again. Luckily, DruidKnight was online, and Merlin quickly went to join him. “Want to continue the quest?” he asked.

“Ah,” DruidKnight said, and he waved his sword, “i wld but im w my guild…”

“Really?” Merlin bit back a laugh. “I’m supposed to be meeting someone today too.”

“R U FINALLY MTG KING?!?!?” DruidKnight suddenly got frantic in his sword-waving, likely spamming the button. Merlin allowed himself a quiet laugh, still aware of his very public surroundings.

“Yeah,” he replied. “But King is late. Said work came up.”

“Oh…,” DruidKnight’s cape fluttered, “i can still talk to u tho!”

“Thanks, Druid,” Merlin said. “But you should really focus on your guild.”

“Its ok! I like talking to u!”

Merlin smiled. “I’ve got an hour before King comes so…”

“Owww,” DruidKnight said, “but dont u think he seems like a hard wrkr?”

Merlin LOLed, though he did agree. “A bit.”

“Hes quik on his ft n smart. A real match 4 u!”

“Aren’t you laying it on a bit thick?” Merlin asked. “Is he really that great?” He found himself nodding in agreement, but while DruidKnight was pretty earnest, it was usually directed toward praising Merlin.

“I still like u the most,” DruidKnight promised.

Merlin went to reply but paused when he saw a new message from King.

“Okay,” it said, “I’m ready.”

When Merlin focused on the game again, DruidKnight’s speech bubble just finished saying, “I hav 2 gt bck to my mtg now!”

Merlin spun his staff, while DruidKnight’s avatar ran up and down the path before it finally said: “Nxt time u meet! Pls invite me!” Merlin blinked, surprised at the sudden boldness, before he typed a cautious “sure” in reply.

Meanwhile, OnceAndFutureKing had sent another round of messages.

“Wait,” the first one read, “is it the Starbucks at Darkling Station?” The second one was him double-checking that’s where Merlin was, and the last one… Merlin’s grip around his mobile tightened.

“Is it ok if I call you?”

Merlin glanced at the door. Outside, strangers passed by in technicolour, and around him, he heard voices overlap in conversation. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, he supposed, and sent King his number.

He was teetering on the edge of a panic attack, full of regret and embarrassment at his complete breaking of the Internet 101 rules, when his screen darkened with an incoming call. Arthur Pendragon flashed at the top of his screen, and Merlin held back an annoyed groan. Arthur rarely called him when he was off work, but when he did, it was never anything good.

“Hello?” he asked. “Is something the matter?”

“Merlin?” Arthur sounded incredulous.

“What is it?” Merlin asked. Why’d he say Merlin’s name like a question? “Is something wrong?”

“Where are you right now?”

“At the Starbucks near Darkling Station,” Merlin answered, hesitant, while worry bubbled in his stomach. “What is it?”

“That’s the one south of Avalon, right?” Arthur asked.

“Yes,” Merlin stuttered. “Is this about work? I’m kind of busy. And I thought with the project being over—”

“Just stay there,” Arthur said, and Merlin heard the murmur of a crowd through his phone’s tinny speaker, and then there was the jingle of the door, except Merlin heard it through his phone and in real time, and when he looked up, Arthur was standing in the doorway, scanning the Starbucks until his eyes landed on Merlin. His face was flushed, and his knuckles were white from the grip he had on his phone.

Merlin rose from his chair, practically on instinct, his fight or flight kicking in. “Arthur?” he asked. “What are you doing here? I meant it when I said I’m busy. I—”

Arthur held up his phone, and a familiar avatar was idling in Excalibur Online. Merlin paled and sunk back into his seat.

“Oh,” he said, voice little more than a whisper. “You’re – haha – OnceAndFutureKing. Of course you are. And I complained about—you’re King. Right. Of course.”

“Emrys?” Arthur prompted.

“My middle name,” Merlin answered, trying to hide his face in the neckerchief he was now extremely grateful for. “It’s Ambrose. Emrys is the Welsh equivalent.”

“Merlin A Wyllt,” Arthur recited before nodding. “I see.”

Merlin wished a hole would open up in the ground and swallow him whole. He stayed silent while Arthur looked between him and the counter.

“Have you gotten a drink yet?” Arthur asked. “I’m going to go order one.”

Merlin shook his head.

“I can get you one,” Arthur said, but Merlin just shook his head once more and rose from his seat.

“I can get my own,” he said, and with this small defiance of Arthur, he felt a bit more like himself, tugging the neckerchief down to better expose his face, though he knew he was still red in the cheeks, and standing straighter. “Come on.”

When they got their drinks, Merlin thought they might sit down again, but someone had managed to snatch their table. Merlin stared morosely at his previous seat before Arthur nudged him and nodded to the door. “We can get a proper meal somewhere else,” he said.

They walked in silence for a bit, though Merlin ached with the need to say something, before Arthur cleared his throat.

“So,” he said, and Merlin glanced over at him from the corner of his eye, “I’m your demon boss from hell.”

“When you say it out loud it’s a bit….” Merlin coughed into his fist before rolling his shoulders back. “Yeah. You are.” He took a sip of his drink before narrowing his eyes. “I don’t get how you couldn’t put it together. Even if I weren’t talking about you, the habits were too similar.”

“You didn’t exactly tell me what I said – or, he said,” Arthur argued. “Just that you wished I’d die, and that I’m the devil, and that I should go to hell. Stellar reviews, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Merlin glared at the pavement in front of him. “You really are awful, though.”

Arthur gave a noncommittal shrug. “I wasn’t great for a long while, sure, but I think I’ve improved.” He lifted his cup to his lips. “I took your advice.”

“What?” Merlin lifted his gaze to look over at Arthur.

“I’ve brought you up before,” Arthur explained, “to yourself.” He thought for a second. “It was back when you ran over my foot. Or a bit after that. Sometime around then.”

Merlin cursed under his breath.

“You don’t forget your subordinate running over your foot, Merlin,” Arthur said. “But you brought up me being a manager, and you reminded me of all the work I don’t see. The work you do. I guess I started thinking about that more from that point on, and I tried to make the work a bit more even. And threw in some encouragement.”

“You always looked constipated,” Merlin told him. “I thought perhaps Uther threatened to take away your Rolls-Royce if you didn’t say something nice.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “You can call me Arthur, but you should really make sure to call him Mr Pendragon when he’s around.”

“I do!” Merlin protested. “You just never listen to me.”

“Clearly I’ve just proven that I do listen to you,” Arthur said. “So. There.”

Merlin scoffed. “You’re such a kid.”

“Kids don’t drive Range Rovers,” Arthur replied.

“So Daddy did take away your Rolls-Royce.” Merlin raised his brows in mock surprise.

“No,” Arthur snapped, “that’s what I’m using my next paycheck on. Then he can threaten to take away my Royce.”

Merlin glanced over to see Arthur already looking at him. His lip quivered for a moment before he burst into a laugh. At his reaction, Arthur grinned. After he collected himself, Merlin stopped. “Did you know it was me?”

Arthur paused too. “In the game?”

Merlin nodded.

It was clear Arthur had an answer, but he hesitated, lips parting while he looked off to the side. Merlin stepped closer when people had to walk around him. Arthur took a step back, running into the display window of the bookstore they stopped in front of. “Not really,” he finally said, “but I considered the possibility. When you ran over my foot, when you got mad, it sounded similar to the way Emrys talked, so I thought maybe, but I didn’t know, not really.”

Merlin took a sip of his drink, so he didn’t have to reply right away. “I see.”

“And you had no idea I was…?” Arthur trailed off, but he needn’t finish the question.

Merlin shook his head. “Not a clue. I should’ve realised it, though.”

“Well,” Arthur lifted his drink in mock cheers before continuing on with their walk, “I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Why not?”

Arthur took a sip. When he swallowed, he said, “You wouldn’t have kept playing EO with me otherwise.”

Merlin went to argue, but he knew it was true. He wasn’t even sure he could keep playing now. Arthur was a good companion in-game, but Merlin knew a lot of their conversation would be stilted, knowing he couldn’t complain to the extent he wanted with Arthur being the one he was complaining about. The conversation was prevented from continuing when he spotted a restaurant up ahead they could eat at. They finished their drinks before stepping inside. He’d been to it before, the place having good vegetarian options that weren’t just fancy salads.

When they found a seat, Arthur continued: “You haven’t talked about it as much, though.”

“What?”

“Work,” Arthur said. “You haven’t had as much to say about it. Or me, at least.”

Merlin fiddled with the curling edge of the paper menu. “Well,” he said, “you haven’t been as awful as you used to be.” They continued to talk even after they got their food, and while it wasn’t the easy conversation they had in-game, it also wasn’t the terse chats they had at work either.

Still, Merlin felt queasy with every lengthening pause between their words, until finally, he stood. “Loo,” he said quickly, before making a hasty retreat.

At the sink, he splashed water on his face, and in the mirror, he reminded himself that this was Arthur – bossy, rude, stupid idiot Arthur – and he knew how to talk to Arthur, and he knew Arthur wouldn’t fire him for something outside of work. If he didn’t fire him for calling him awful and evil to his face, nor for running over his foot, he for sure wouldn’t fire Merlin for playing a video game with him.

“Get it together, Merlin,” he said before pushing himself away from the counter and going to the door. He pushed it open, and he was ready to leave, only to run into someone. He stumbled back and held in a noise of surprise at the face.

“Merlin?” Mordred asked.

“What are you doing here?” Merlin took another step back.

“My guild decided to eat here,” Mordred replied. “One of the members’ brothers runs this place.”

Merlin stared. “Oh,” he said.

“Did you find who you were looking for?” Mordred asked.

Merlin nodded.

“Not going well?”

Merlin shook his head.

Mordred glanced around, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, before he suggested, “I could sit with you guys maybe? Just for a bit. To break the ice.”

Again, Merlin shook his head. “It’s really alright,” he said. “You should spend time with your guild.”

“No,” Mordred held up a hand, “they won’t mind.” He studied Merlin for a second before stepping back out the restroom, Merlin following. After Merlin pointed out their table, Mordred nodded and led the way back. When they reached the table, Mordred waved. “Hi.”

Arthur nodded. “Hello.”

“This is Mordred,” Merlin cut in. “He plays EO too.”

“Really?” Arthur leant back in his chair. “Going to play with us?”

Mordred dipped his head before taking a seat. “If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t,” Arthur replied, as Merlin sat back in his chair.

When they logged on, Mordred made a small noise. At Merlin and Arthur’s twin inquisitive looks, he shook his head. “You guys have a lot more points than me. I’m a bit, ah, intimidated.”

At that, Merlin smiled. “No worries. I’ve been playing for a while, so.”

“My weapon is OP,” Arthur explained, and his avatar swung his sword.

Mordred nodded, while his own avatar spun its staff, much like Merlin’s did. He was also a bear, much like Arthur, but where Arthur wore armour, Mordred’s avatar wore deep green robes. KingSlayer was his username. Arthur gave a laugh.

“Unfortunate usernames,” he said, and Mordred gave a small smile.

“I had a bit of an emo phase,” he explained.

Merlin raised a brow. “Phase?” He looked over at Mordred’s clothes, all varying shades of black, complete with boots perfect for a mosh pit. Mordred held his phone in front of his face, preventing Merlin from seeing his expression, though he could still see the teenager’s cheeks darken.

“Whatever,” Mordred said. And then, he gasped, “Look!”

The three of them held their phones closer to see a rare, high-level beast – a gryphon with white wings and a sharp beak, tongue out and ugly as it hissed at them. Merlin glanced at Arthur to find him already looking back.

They nodded and got to work.

Mordred tried to help, but his low level and weak HP, along with an unfortunate critical hit from the gryphon, had him dying early. “Sorry,” he said aloud, but Merlin just waved the apology away with a distracted hand.

“No worries,” he said, before Arthur told him to move and use a stunning spell, so he could go in and get the gryphon in the stomach.

They continued on like that, the pair of them giving orders only halfway said, the other knowing what to do from memory. They were a seamless team, and it wasn’t long before the gryphon was dead, disappearing in a shimmering haze, and leaving behind coins, a sharp claw, and two shining feathers.

“Yes!” Merlin cheered, reaching across the table to take Arthur’s hand in a poorly thought-out high-five. Poorly thought-out, as his fingers had a different idea, and instead tried to lace with Arthur’s own. Merlin nearly dropped his phone, releasing Arthur’s hand and sitting back in his seat. “Sorry.”

Arthur coughed into his serviette. Mordred leant forward.

“That was so cool!” he said. “You guys are really good.”

“Thanks,” Merlin replied, finally looking over at him, and grateful for the distraction from his blunder. “Lots of practice. Too much, probably, for a working adult.” He nodded his head. “You should focus on school. You’re still a student, right?”

Mordred nodded.

“Make sure to go to a good university,” Arthur added. “It’s good to have a plan for the upcoming years, especially when you’re about to become an adult.”

“Get into a good university, so you don’t have to have a trash job,” Merlin said. “Make sure you have a good boss when you work too.”

“My shift manager is nice,” Mordred replied.

“That’s good,” Merlin said, and then Mordred rose from his seat.

“I’ve got to get back to my meeting,” he told them, “but it was nice meeting you.”

Merlin and Arthur gave similar sentiments, and it appeared that Mordred was going to leave, when he stopped and looked back at Merlin. “If you ever do an offline meeting again, invite me, okay?”

Bewildered, Merlin nodded, though he wasn’t sure he’d remember Mordred’s username. He supposed he knew where the kid worked, but he wasn’t keen on seeing him again, no matter their apparent shared passion for Excalibur Online. Seeing Merlin at his job might remind Mordred of their meeting, and he didn’t really want that.

Mordred gave them a wave before disappearing behind a room divider.

“Merlin,” Arthur said once he was gone, “I want to keep playing EO with you.”

Merlin blinked before his gaze dropped back to his phone. “Yeah,” he agreed, “me too.” He fiddled with the ringer button, flicking it on and off, before he left it on “off”, and he looked up at Arthur.

“Look,” he said, “I’m sorry.” He swallowed and was grateful Arthur didn’t immediately react to his words. “I know I’m not the best employee, but I do care. About my job, I mean. I mean, about the work I do. And – I’m sure you get told this, but – I admire you. Or, not you, but what you do. You’re capable.” He went back to messing with his phone. “You’re a good leader.”

Arthur remained silent.

Merlin cringed, regretting his honesty.

“Thank you,” Arthur finally said, and Merlin looked up from where his thumb pressed against his mobile’s power button. “I appreciate that a lot.” His cheeks were ruddy, the colour even going across his nose, but he met Merlin’s eyes, and he seemed sincere. “And I don’t think you’re a bad employee. Insolent, sure. Disrespectful? In a way I never even thought possible. But it’s clear that you try, and it’s clear that, for all your whinging, which is what you do, don’t even try to deny it, you enjoy what you do. At the end of the day, you care, and that’s what I consider most important at Avalon. People can suck up to me, or to my father, all they want, but if I had to choose between them or you…,” Arthur trailed off as what he was saying seemed to catch up with him. Merlin watched as his tongue darted out to swipe across his lower lip. Part of him wanted Arthur to finish that statement, but as Arthur only continued to stare, fingers twitching where they held his serviette, Merlin spared him.

“Thanks,” he said. “That’s nice to hear.”

“Well,” Arthur cleared his throat, shaking his head so his hair fell more across his eyes, “don’t expect anything like that again. I just figured, if we’re sharing how we feel.”

“Right,” Merlin said. “No. I agree.” And then, because he has chronic foot-in-mouth syndrome, he added: “So you choose me, huh? Just this once? Or every time? Because it sounds like it’d be every time.”

“Merlin.” Arthur glared at him from across the table.

“It’s okay, Arthur. I know you can’t help me being your favourite. That’s just how it is.” Merlin grinned as he spooned up his curry. “I get it.”

“Um,” a voice said from behind him then, and Merlin turned around to see Mordred standing there, hands shoved in his pockets. He pulled one out to point at the mess of dishes on the table. “I forgot my phone.”

“And you didn’t notice till now?” Arthur asked.

Mordred nodded while Merlin handed him the device. “Thanks,” he told Merlin. He glanced at Arthur but said nothing, and with that, he left, shoving his phone into his pocket, hand following soon after.

“Wonder what his problem is,” Merlin said.

Arthur crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat. “Teenagers,” he replied.

Things continued to go well after that. At work, they weren’t exactly friends, but Merlin felt the pressure on him lessen. Still, he continued to do his best, and Arthur appeared pleased – Merlin rarely had to redo assignments now. Outside of work, they met up surprisingly often, though they mostly used the time to play Excalibur. Surprisingly, Arthur was good at keeping his work and personal life separate, and Merlin was grateful for the reprieve.

Despite the positives, Merlin found DruidKnight playing with them less and less.

“He’s got A levels, doesn’t he?” Arthur said when Merlin told him his worry. “Those are starting soon, right?”

“They’ve already started,” Merlin replied. “I just think it’s odd…,” he trailed off as a slime hopped across the screen. He killed it before continuing: “Do you think everything’s alright?”

Arthur shrugged, and Merlin delivered a kick to his shin that had him whining. “He’s fine,” Arthur finally said. “He’s a kid. He’s probably got mood swings. Or maybe a girlfriend.”

“Maybe,” Merlin agreed, but he didn’t think so.

He ended up going back to Mordred’s cafe.

“Morning,” he said, while Mordred glared at him. He made a face at the teenager’s expression. “Is there something wrong?”

“No,” Mordred replied. “I was running late this morning and didn’t have time to put in my contacts.”

Merlin blinked. “Do you not have glasses?”

“Broke them,” Mordred said. “Haven’t had time to order new ones.”

So Mordred hadn’t been glaring at him. Not today and not back then. Okay. “Isn’t that a problem?” he asked. “At school or anything?”

Mordred shrugged. “I usually wear my contacts.”

Merlin hummed then placed his order. As Mordred wrote it down, Merlin deliberated on whether or not he should ask his next question. He finally decided as Mordred went to print his receipt. “You’re a teenager,” he said, making Mordred give him a concerned look, “so you know what it means if a kid starts avoiding you, right?”

“Uh,” Mordred replied. “I mean, we aren’t that different, are we?”

Merlin narrowed his eyes, and Mordred backtracked.

“It’s just,” Merlin continued when Mordred stuttered to a stop, “we used to play EO together, not all the time, but often, and I know there’s A levels, but they’ve also already started, and it’s like he looks for reasons not to hang out. He’s a good kid, but I just get worried, you know?”

Mordred stared at him. “He’s probably fine,” he finally said. “You might just be imagining it. Besides, you said it yourself, A levels are here. Even if they’re already underway, they can be really draining. He’s probably passing out as soon as he gets home.”

Merlin messed with the frayed edge of his sleeve. Another stylistic choice he was starting to regret as it itched against his palm. “You think so?” he asked. “I just think it’d be fun to quest with him again.”

Mordred gave him something like a smile. “Yeah,” he said. “I’m sure it’s fine.” He waved a hand. “He might even invite you on a quest soon himself. So. Don’t give up. Or something.”

The words hung funnily in the air, until Merlin broke through them with a laugh. “You’re right,” he said. “You’re right.” He nodded and sent Mordred a relieved grin. “Thanks. I’ll try not to let it get me down anymore.”

Mordred nodded back, and Merlin stepped away, and soon he had his drink and was heading out the door. He thought Mordred might be looking at him as he left, but when he glanced back, Mordred was focussed on another customer’s order. Merlin shrugged and continued on his way to work.

The next day, DruidKnight was back, and this time, he offered to help Merlin in a special event that had been going on throughout the week. Merlin accepted. It seemed Arthur and Mordred had been right – he had been overthinking it.

Arthur was quiet at their next meeting.

“Is everything alright?” Merlin asked.

Arthur shrugged.

“Is it a work thing?” he prodded. “I won’t tell anyone, if it is.”

“Not a work thing,” Arthur replied. “I just got an odd message from DruidKnight.”

“Did you?” Merlin asked, to which Arthur nodded, and angled his phone so Merlin could see the DM.

“I know about you and Emrys,” he read, “but I won’t give up.”

He looked up at Arthur. “He knows we work together…?”

Again, Arthur shrugged. “Maybe he wants to work at Avalon when he finishes school?”

“Why anyone would want to do that,” Merlin began, making Arthur shove him. On screen, his avatar shuddered at a critical hit from the skeleton they were fighting. Merlin glared at Arthur. “Thanks.”

Arthur’s lips curled upwards at the corners. He remained silent as he typed a reply to DruidKnight, and Merlin let his game idle while he scooted closer to read over Arthur’s shoulder. Best of luck to you, he said. Merlin raised his brows.

“Could sound a bit less like an ass,” he said.

“I’ll fire you,” Arthur replied.

Merlin rolled his eyes.

Merlin hated to admit it, but he liked Arthur. And he wasn’t just talking as a supervisor or as someone to play games with.

He knew, objectively, the man was handsome. He was all muscle – practical strength – and golden hair and crystalline eyes, eyes like God took the sky and put them in his irises, and for all his teasing, he could be startlingly honest, and it was clear that, for all the potential nepotism, he wanted to do well at work and he cared about those under him, even if he had trouble expressing it. Very much an “I push you because I care” mentality. Merlin wasn’t much of a fan of it, but for Arthur, he supposed he could be.

He had already liked OnceAndFutureKing plenty, and maybe he had spent a night or two dreaming what the other player could look like, whether he had dark hair or light, eyes like the sea or eyes like the earth, whether he was tall or short, and maybe he did one time wish things could go for him like things went for Will and Freya, but he was never serious about it. And he never thought OnceAndFutureKing would turn out to be the same man he worked under.

But every piece of Arthur Pendragon coming together into a perfect puzzle had Merlin struggling to keep hold of his heart, and he found himself with a very annoying crush.

Gwen, having been through something similar – and by that he meant, everyone on his floor had had a crush on Arthur at one point or another – was very sympathetic. “He clearly likes you best,” she told him. “The only thing is – dating your boss?”

“He’s not technically,” Merlin said, but that was enough indication to both of them how far gone he was.

“Get well soon,” Gwaine told him, while Lancelot, who worked on the floor above them but also was in a relationship with Gwen and had come down to eat lunch with them, did his best to look like the reminder that Gwen once had a crush on Arthur didn’t send him into a spiral about her current affections for him. Merlin just barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

Lancelot’s presence had Merlin turning on Gwen, though, saying, “Dating your coworker?” He tsked, shaking his head, while Gwaine cheered, seeing as he was rather experienced with dating coworkers.

“He does like you most,” Gwaine said after calming. “It’s a bit obvious. Absolutely killing George.” Another intern, George was, efficient and intelligent, and Merlin admired him to an extent. The only bad part about George was that when Uther had stopped on their floor to discuss something with Arthur, he made it clear Merlin’s job was the intern’s as soon as Merlin got fed up and quit or was fired. Unfortunately for Mr Pendragon, it appeared that wasn’t going to be anytime soon.

“Would you quit if it meant you could date Arthur?” Lancelot asked.

Merlin hesitated. Gwen began to grin. “No!” Merlin finally said. “No. I wouldn’t. I’m not that unprofessional.” But the damage had been done, and he left his lunch break with burning cheeks and ears that glowed red.

Before work, he stopped by Mordred’s cafe another couple of times, the teenager much less annoying now that Merlin understood he wasn’t glaring. Sometimes they talked, but for the most part he would just get his drink and go. Still, the drinks were better than Starbucks and cheaper, so he found himself returning more and more.

Meanwhile, Arthur got another slew of strange messages from Mordred, each one growing in vitriol, until Merlin read them through again and said, “I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”

“Really?” Arthur asked, eyes locked on the final message from Mordred, one that read: U R DEAD KING. EMRYS WILL C. FR. “You think so?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “He doesn’t think we’re coworkers.”

“So what does he think we are in—,” Arthur scrolled through the messages quickly, “oh. He thinks we’re—oh.” He swallowed. “So does that mean he…?”

“I thought he did,” Merlin replied, “but I don’t say anything because acknowledging it means to encourage it.”

“But you were rather concerned about him not being online,” Arthur said.

“He’s a sweet teenager trying to complete his A levels and get into a good school,” Merlin told him. “Tell me those weren’t the worst years of your life.”

Arthur thought it over before giving a weak shrug. “Childhood is rough.”

At that, Merlin leant away to give him a long look. “Not quite what I was going for, but. Sure.” He disliked Uther by virtue of the man being his boss, and a billionaire, and for slapping rainbows on things during Pride month all while giving disgusted looks at the gay flag Merlin kept in a mug on his desk, but now he found his opinion of him souring for Arthur too. Awful man, truly. Maybe he should quit. Any money from Uther felt increasingly like dirty money.

He blinked and shoved those thoughts away before he could study them further. “If he were backing off, I’d say to keep up the delusion. But maybe we should tell him the truth, if only so you don’t get more messages like that.” He nodded his head at the message proclaiming Arthur dead.

Arthur agreed.

Later that night, when he’d gone back to his flat, Merlin got a text from Arthur. It was a screenshot of his and DruidKnight’s DMs. Arthur’s explained that they were just coworkers and were not together in any romantic capacity, which stung Merlin more than he liked, and DruidKnight’s said, “Oh.”

Arthur had sent a shrugging emoji with the screenshot. Merlin wasn’t sure what to say to it either, but he supposed it was better than a death threat, albeit a weak one.

When Merlin saw Mordred a couple days later, the teenager seemed more cheerful than usual.

“Something good happen at school?” he asked as he took his drink.

Mordred shook his head. “Just got some good news.”

Merlin ahhed. “Well,” he smiled again, “have a good day then!”

Mordred actually gave him a proper grin. “You too!”

Again, Merlin felt eyes on him as he left, and this time, when he turned around, Mordred was looking at him still. He lifted a hand in a wave. Merlin hesitated, then waved back.

“Have you ever considered,” Arthur began when Merlin went into his office at lunch, “that Mordred is DruidKnight?”

Merlin blinked as he took a seat in front of Arthur’s desk. “No,” he said. “Why?”

“Maybe because he is,” Arthur replied. “And because he fits the bill?”

“Really?” Merlin tapped a finger to his chin. “But Mordred is so…,” he made a face, “you know. And DruidKnight really is sweet.”

“He sent me death threats,” Arthur said.

“You know he wouldn’t actually kill you,” Merlin argued.

“DruidKnight is Mordred.” Arthur pulled out his lunch. “That KingSlayer was an alternate account of his.”

“I just don’t know if—”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, “they’re the same person. At that first meetup, he was clearly hanging out for your sake. And when he left? He was probably trying to figure out if he wanted my head on a spike or a platter.”

“That’s because Mordred is a creepy emo teenager,” Merlin replied, accepting the bowl of pad thai Arthur passed him. “You probably intimidate him. You’re very…,” he studied Arthur with narrowed eyes, and found it a bit like looking into the sun, “intimidating.”

Arthur scoffed. “He likes you, Merlin.”

“What does it matter if he – if either of them – do?” Merlin speared a square of tofu with a bit more force than necessary. “It’s not like I like him back, and you’re not my keeper. You can supervise me at work, but not in my personal life.”

“God forbid I try to be your friend,” Arthur snapped.

“Micromanaging my life is not being my friend,” Merlin snapped back.

“I’m your supervisor!” Arthur argued. “That’s what I’m supposed to do!”

Merlin really regretted his thought about Arthur having a good work-life balance. “So pick one, Arthur. Supervisor or friend, because you sure as hell can’t be both.”

“And why not?” Arthur rose from his desk, hands slamming down on the wood. “You had no problem with me being both before!”

“And I didn’t want to kiss you silly before!” Merlin replied before he realised what he said, and his hands flew to his mouth. “Pretend I didn’t just say that,” he said from behind his fingers.

Arthur stared at him, eyes wide. “Merlin,” he said, but Merlin was already spinning on his heel and running out of his office. At his desk, he began gathering his pencils and pens, and in his head, he was writing his resignation letter, which looked a lot like a suicide note, and Arthur was shoving past George and Lancelot, who once again took his lunch with Gwen, and the closer he got to Merlin’s desk the quicker Merlin worked to shove his papers and the framed picture of himself and his mum into his satchel until the bag fell from his chair and Arthur reached his cubicle.

“Merlin,” he repeated, and Merlin swallowed, cheeks bright red in the bright office light. Arthur met his eyes, blue on vibrant blue. Arthur took another breath. “Merlin,” he said one last time, “you’re fired.”

Merlin exploded. Taking Arthur by the arm, he pulled him back to his office, apologising to Lancelot and George on their way back. When they entered the small room, he shoved Arthur back down into his chair. “I can run over your foot! Curse you to hell and back! Do a thousand little other things that would have anyone else out the door and jobless, but you fire me because I – like everyone else on this stupid fucking floor, might I add – think you’re not awful to look at?”

Arthur stared up at him with wide eyes, his own face flushing with every word. “The difference is that I don’t want to date anyone else on this stupid fucking floor,” he replied. “I want to date you.”

Merlin froze. “What?”

“I won’t fire you,” Arthur said, “though you threaten to quit every other week, but I don’t want you to feel… pressured. I know you’re incredibly headstrong, and I could never make you do something you truly don’t want to do, but—”

“Shut up,” Merlin said, and he glanced back to make sure the blinds covering the windows of Arthur’s office were closed. They were. He took a step closer to Arthur, who sunk further into his chair.

“What?” The word was little more than an exhale.

“I said,” Merlin moved even closer, and he was practically in Arthur’s lap now, “‘shut up’.” Arthur opened his mouth, but anything he had to say was stopped by Merlin’s lips on his. Arthur remained still underneath him, and then Merlin properly straddled Arthur’s thighs, and Arthur’s hands ran down from Merlin’s shoulders to rest at his waist.

“You’re ridiculous,” Merlin said when he pulled away. “You hear me? Absolutely ridiculous.”

“Right,” Arthur agreed, clearly uncaring of what Merlin said, more focussed on his lips rather than what came out of said lips. Arthur swayed forward, his hold on Merlin’s waist tightening. Merlin’s mouth curved into a smile, one that was hard to get rid of, even as Arthur’s lips and tongue worked at his.

It was a rather unprofessional display for Arthur, but unprofessional must be what he wanted, since he apparently wanted Merlin too.

Later, after too much time had gone by and Merlin still hadn’t emerged from Arthur’s office, he said, “We should probably talk about this.”

“Are you sure I shouldn’t fire you?” Arthur asked.

“Absolutely,” Merlin replied. “If I’m leaving here, it’s on my own terms.”

Arthur hummed, and Merlin felt the rumble of it in his cheek, where he had it pressed into Arthur’s shoulder. The fingers of one of his hands trailed up Merlin’s back until they curved around the nape of his neck, then they tangled into his hair. “Gwen and Lancelot are doing fine.”

“Gwen and Lancelot are the kind of couple that will have a wedding in June and have two-point-five kids and live a wonderful life,” Merlin said.

“And I take it you wouldn’t want something so traditional?” Merlin could hear the smile in Arthur’s voice, even as his eyes slipped shut while Arthur’s fingers ran through his hair.

“I like the idea of a wonderful life,” Merlin murmured. “I don’t think I can give you kids, though. Sorry about that.”

“I think you could do anything you put your mind to, Merlin,” Arthur replied, voice equally low.

Merlin hid a smile in Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur sighed, relaxing further into his chair, Merlin following easily. “I take it you won’t go any easier on me if we’re together?”

“Of course not.”

Merlin nodded. “Right, right. Well, if you’re game….”

“Very.”

“Then I’m definitely willing to give us a go.”

He felt Arthur’s lips against his cheek and, at the same time, his heart leapt in his chest. He supposed he should get used to it.

“Me too,” Arthur agreed. “Most definitely.”

“I’m not sure why you think sending my boyfriend death threats is in any way a good tactic to get me to like you,” Merlin said as he walked into Mordred’s cafe. Mordred opened his mouth, cheeks flushing red as some of the other customers looked over at them, but Merlin continued: “Besides, you’re, like, twelve. I’m way too old for you, kid.”

“You’re only twenty-three,” Mordred finally replied. “I turned eighteen two weeks ago.”

“I knew you when you were in diapers,” Merlin said, flat.

Mordred blew a raspberry at him, proving his maturity. In response, Merlin flashed him a backwards V. Just like that, recognition flashed in Mordred’s eyes and Merlin knew he made a mistake. “I was still seventeen when you did that!” he said. “You harassed a minor!”

“No, I didn’t!” Merlin replied, snatching his two drinks and making a hasty escape. “Stop sending Arthur death threats!”

“I’ll just send them to you instead!” Mordred shouted, voice carrying even as the door swung shut behind Merlin.

Outside, Arthur stood, tapping away at his phone. Merlin held out a drink to him, and Arthur accepted it after putting the device into his pocket. “Seemed lively in there.”

Merlin hummed innocently, taking a sip from his drink, before glancing back into the cafe, where Mordred now stood getting lectured by an older woman with long blond hair tied into a braid. His head was bowed, but Merlin could see a smile still curling on his lips. He rolled his eyes. The kid was fine.

Arthur continued to study Merlin, and Merlin finally lowered his drink. “Remember the kid that clicked his tongue at me? Well, I might’ve done something not so polite in response.”

“How you aren’t banned from every establishment in Camelot is beyond me,” Arthur replied.

“You’ve never flipped off a kid?” Merlin asked in disbelief. “Wow, what a saint you are!” He took in a breath, ready to continue, but Arthur cut him off, wrapping an arm around his waist and drawing him into a chai-flavoured kiss. Merlin blinked rapidly when Arthur pulled away. When he focussed once more, Arthur had just licked across his lower lip. “Uh.”

“Don’t think saints kiss like that now, do they?” Arthur asked.

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Remind me to never defend you from Mordred again. In fact, every threat he sends you I want printed and framed. You can hang them in your office. Consider it motivation.”

“Motivation for what?” Arthur kept his arm around Merlin’s waist as they began the walk to Avalon. “I’ve already got everything I want right here.”

Again, Merlin rolled his eyes, but his heart jumped in his chest, and he hid in his smile in the next drink from his cup. Arthur noticed anyway, and the grin he wore in response made it all worth it.

...

A/N: Thank you for reading. :3 You can see where I lost some steam, LOL, but I wanted to push through and finish this anyway because I have, like, eleven other WIPs. I'll come back and edit this later, maybe. Probably.

If you enjoyed, please consider liking and especially reblogging this post, because that really makes my day, and maybe leave a kudos and comment on AO3. If you want to, of course. Thanks again for reading! <3

#bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #merlin fanfic #my writing #my fic

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strawheart-pirate · 1 year ago

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☙ • • Rules • • ❦

First things first.

I absolutely do not tolerate any form of racism or hate. This place is safe for everyone no matter their gender, sexual orientation, religion,... If you have to be an asshole just leave already.

If you want to follow me you have to be 18+. I will block anyone without an age identifier (18+/20s/lvl 23/whatever...) in their bio or pinned post.

Content

This blog has SFW and NSFW content. Minors do not interact with NSFW content.

I'm caught up on the manga and anime, but I will warn for spoilers in my writing and art and for everything that might be triggering. I will add a content warning above the cut of every post which I recommend to read before going any further. All actions are consensual, if not stated otherwise.

Requests

I have my requests closed, because I'm just getting started. But I'd like to open them someday for special occasion. I will let you know, when the time is right.

Beside, my inbox is open and I don't bite. Except you do.

For future requests...

Requests work best, if you give me the type of reader, a character and a prompt/setting/kink/whatever you like and especially what you don't like! To request some NSFW/smut you have to be off anon and have an age identifier in your blog (18+).

What I write

I only write for One Piece. Reader: f!Reader, afab!Reader, gn!Reader Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Robin, Franky, Brook, Law, Shachi, Penguin, Kid, Killer, Ace, Sabo, Mihawk, Shanks, Rosinante (might add more characters to the list later) Will not age up a character or write for minors, minks or other species. Will not write incest. Period. I do not write gore, yandere or dark themes just yet. May be a thing for the future. But I do write kinks in my NSFW/smuts.

If you request something, please have patience. I will either write your fic or let you know if I can't accept it. I won't let any ask unanswered. But do always remember that I'm doing this for fun and don't need a reason to decline an ask or if writing takes longer because life gets in the way.

All content unless otherwise stated belongs to: ©Strawheart-pirate. Please do not copy / modify / translate / repost my writing, banners or art on other platforms. Comments, reblogs or likes are highly appreciated!

#strawheart-pirate.blog #strawheart-pirate.rules

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m1ckeyb3rry · 4 months ago

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I’m laughing so hard I can’t wait to read this officially in reos version!! Omg wait is it time to play guess the wc again…haven’t done this since the first quarter of Karasu bfb….hmmmmmm

STOP these pics alone are giving Reo conversion moment….im convinced you just sprinkle some sort of magic character propaganda dust into ur writing atp

LMAOOO FR omg imagine kdrama nagi….40min eps weekly I would fr eat that shit up

NO FR JJK audios are always insane (Gojo taking over daddy’s home will forever be an insane phenomenon)

FRRRRRRRRR THE S2 HYPE IS SOO REAL I bet we’re gonna see a bit of Karasu in action first ep too!!!

Poor chigiri he deserves compensation for that fr….but LMAOO nah fr hollyhock otoya >> regular otoya jkjk we love goofy otoya too but he would SO say that (yet again proving Karasu supremacy…)

BROOOOOOOOOOO THIS SLAPS???????? Im crying yuki tweaking out the moment you started the sentence I already imagined him just like that like “NO we CANNOT this is literally the OPPOSITE of what we were paid to do???” Ok but wait….what if…..what if this was the long fic…..here we have a yotd bllk crossover they kidnap her and then they’re like welp guess we gotta run from our boss…yotd spinoff plot…ok but anyways maybe im just enamored by the fact that karasus got his own little crow SHEJSHSS

Im CRYJNG THE SONG yet another product of your crazy rizz…ok but is the song good though….

Also im crying WTF is that yuki face on the right LMAOOOOO I’m ngl angry yuki lowk kinda….but wtf is the one on the right I’m sorry it’s like Shidou possessed him

- Karasu anon

HAHAHA OMG ON THE TOPIC OF THE OAEU I LITERALLY FOUND THE EXACT VIDEO TO DESCRIBE THE UBERS DYNAMIC IN IT i’m crying…just need to finish sae’s version and then things are abt to go crazy fr (also barou looks so handsome in this video bro i need him)

i’m literally converting myself tbh 😭 reo is just so perfect nagi is lucky i make him outdo himself in this fic because normal fandom fanon nagi could never compare w peregrine reo (tbh canon nagi lowkey might not be able to either LMAOAOA only men that can beat peregrine reo are peregrine nagi and bfb karasu)

okay wait speaking of nagi and dramas i think it’s so funny that he apparently likes watching dramas?? i think at one point (maybe second selection w barou) isagi’s like “i could’ve watched two episodes of an anime in this time” and nagi’s like “yeah or one episode of a drama 😒☝🏻” HAHAHA bro plays fps games you’d think he’d be into heavy shounen guns and violence type of stuff but honestly besides his video games he kinda has very cutie pie chill interests 🥹 like even his favorite song i listened once and it’s so calm??? truly a man of many contradictions

YESSS KARASU FIRST EP ego’s def going to announce the top six so we’ll get tabieitaken and nagi (and rin + shidou but who gaf abt them) although i wouldn’t be surprised if the first ep starts off with a flashback of reo and kunigami losing to shidou since that game is what kinda builds the hype for shidou and sets him up to be more “villainous” than even karasu and otoya (who are the third selection antagonists) as well as setting him apart from the rest of the bllkers which foreshadows him going to the u20s

somebody save chigiri fr 😭🙏🏻 honestly i think it’s funny when you actually watch bllk or read the manga besides the haircare chigiri is actually one of the most boyish characters??? idk how to put it but especially in the anime he just gives such strong BOY energy tbh fanon chigiri is closer to bachira than anything 😩 but FR hollyhock otoya lowkey does gag regular otoya i’m afraid (but tbf hollyhock otoya would be so proud that regular otoya is the way he is FJSKDJS) and YESS karasu supremacy he truly has such “me and my girl don’t argue she tells me to shut up and i do” energy like that man would be so delighted that someone wants him he’s not questioning ANYTHING

HAHAHA FREE YUKIMIYA only one with an ounce of sense between the three of them…ofc otoya’s like “😨 baddie alert 🚨‼️” so HE’S not saying anything 😭 and karasu’s just a softie he can’t kill her when he realizes she’s like. younger than him. it’s not by a ton probably a couple of years or so but still he’s used to killing like corrupt people or people who have wronged their clients meanwhile reader is just a girl she literally knows nothing…like when he’s about to kill her she wakes up and immediately calls for ness (unfortunately there is a brief ness era in the beginning) and karasu feels soooo bad because she’s like terrified and plus he knows ness was deadass INVOLVED in the plot against her life 😭 karasu number one gentleman fr 🤩 not killing a girl because she offers her half-brother’s life in exchange: LAME (@ otoya) not killing a girl because she’s crying and tells you she’s scared: WHAT A MANNN MAYBE CHIVALRY ISN’T DEAD

i fear this was meant to be my long fic (i came up w the idea a WHILEE ago) but i was never satisfied with how it turned out + i was annoyed by the mc’s lack of agency (crow and cackle karasu >> hollyhock otoya BUT hollyhock y/n >>>>>>> crow and cackle y/n) when i tried writing it especially in the beginning so alas it will remain a fond memory for us all 😩🙏🏻 HAHA karasu’s pet crow is so cuteee though i think it’s so funny to imagine when karasu pulls up w reader yukimiya’s just like bro stop adopting random creatures 😒 BUT a mutual of mine inadvertently reminded of this crazy detailed outline for a pokémon au i have in my drafts so perhaps i will revisit that after the oaeu and see if there’s anything salvageable from it or if it’s another doomed plot (lowkey it’s sad asf though icl the angst is real)

hmm the song is pretty good!! i wouldn’t say it’s my favorite but it’s not bad by any means…unfortunately i just cannot listen without remembering our crazy memories (this is the guy who i only texted about demon slayer and specifically akaza…like i would just send him paragraphs about how hot i found akaza even though me and akaza were never locked in like that but i found it funny that it pissed him off SO BAD and at the time i didn’t know why 😭 then he asked me out and i was like ??? you’re not akaza ??? LMAOAOA jkjk i was much nicer abt it but truly it’s proof that nothing can stop a man when he’s determined to ask you out NOTHING)

i fear this may be the one thing we disagree on i think he looks so fine on the right 🙏🏻 idk he just looks kinda cocky and sassy which is more in line w his mc vs bm match self but i honestly like the splash of personality it gives him LSFJJSJS

#answered asks

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fallynleaf · 10 months ago

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i'm on track to put the most amount of work into the least read fics for International Fanworks Day and Femslash February this year, but i finished one extremely niche project (fanfic of a fanfic...) and am decently far along on what has got to be one of the most ambitious fics i've attempted lol (considering some of the stuff i've written, that's saying a lot). i'll just say that it's testing my pro wrestling match literacy more than any project i've attempted so far...

i also tried something WILDLY different, which is that i wrote my first story in Japanese! i've written a few senryu poems before, but that's the only thing i'd written in Japanese besides answers to textbook questions and like tweets and DMs.

a friend shared a link to Galette's (an independent yuri magazine) call for submissions for 「140文字の百合」 ("140 character yuri"), and i ended up deciding on a whim to attempt to write something. my vocab knowledge specializes so heavily in pro wrestling, though, i feel like that's sort of all i'm able to write about with any degree of confidence, so that's what i wrote lol.

i got a few friends who are fluent or near fluent to look at my story just to make sure the grammar and such was generally correct, and then i worked up the courage to ask a Japanese friend on twitter to look at it for me haha and help me make sure that it sounded natural.

my friend liked my story and only had a few tweaks to suggest, which is encouraging! i ended up being glad i tried it because it was fun for both of us.

i can't post the story here haha because i'm trying to honor the submission rules, but i'll try to remember to share it in three months. i highly doubt mine will get selected for publication in the magazine, but it's fun writing with such a tight constraint like that.

i told my friend i was going to try writing one with asexual characters next, so i've tentatively committed to attempting to write another one around may!

what else have i been up to...

i actually have been pretty caught up on my TJPW translations!! i've been doing great with time management lately, which is unusual for me lol. i'm trying to work on them for 1.5-2 hours every day until the translation is finished. then when i don't have a translation i'm working on, i've been trying to use that time for just reading in Japanese.

i started Dungeon Meshi a few days ago haha because i have an insane plan to read the first 9 volumes (+2 chapters of volume 10) and then pick up Harta volume 75 and read the whole magazine (including Dungeon Meshi chapters) from there lol. we have an informal book club going for Harta in the wanikani forum, and i got easily talked into participating, but my friend convinced me to hold off on reading the Dungeon Meshi chapters unless i was caught up (to the point where Harta 75 picks up at), so i decided i'll just get caught up first and then start Harta lol.

i was kind of worried about the difficulty level of Dungeon Meshi because i heard it had loads of relatively uncommon vocab, but i ran my digital copy of it through mokuro, and it parsed it really well, so i've found it to honestly be kind of a breeze to read, though it is a pretty wordy series, so i'm not flying through 100 pages in a day or anything like that.

the vocab is def somewhat hard, but instant lookups make that not an issue (and i can read almost all the kanji, so it's easy to look stuff up manually when mokuro makes a mistake). honestly the grammar feels generally pretty easy to me? easier than some of the dialects i've gotten stumped by in "easier" manga lol, that's for sure.

i'm really enjoying the manga so far! it's triggering a lot of my nostalgia for D&D, and i'm finding the story engaging and refreshingly different, and the art is really good. the illustrations are super clear, which is really helpful when you're trying to read in a language you're not super proficient in.

i'm wondering if it'll help me get better at reading recipes in the Japanese cookbook i own, haha. the ingredients lists in my real cookbook look almost exactly like this lol (and a lot of cooking verbs are also helpfully illustrated in the manga)

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astraphel · 2 years ago

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I deleted my Camellia & Moonlight Sanemi story because I'm editing and reworking it! I'll expand on the story, break it into more chapters, then publish it under a new title.

The original story still exists and will remain on Archive of Our Own.

Consider it a first draft. I know people love their fics and wouldn't want to delete every bit of the original. Besides, it's fun to look back and see how my writing has grown.

I've always intended to write a "Part 3" for the original, involving the Reader and some manga spoiler scenarios - up to the last chapters. Not necessarily a play-by-play of what's seen in the manga, but not being passive in the story's narrative either.

I wanted to give some warning about that. I'll indicate when manga spoilers start in the new title so people can read comfortably.

Also, as always, my Reader characters are heavily OC-leaning. Writing in the second person present tense gets me in a good flow, and some pretty strong character voices pop out that I can't deny!

I'm aiming to get the first chapters of the new story published in the next month! Until then, you can always read it at Ao3 <3

#camellia & moonlight #astraphel #aishasbiceps

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hopeswriting · 2 years ago

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I believe that all of the tenth generation look at Tsuna as their moral compass.

If Tsuna killed someone by accident would the tenth gen look at him differently. I see so many fics in the past where their bonds are so strong but suddenly collapses all because he got a bystander or some oc they know killed lol. Honestly, do you think Yamamto or Hibari, Ryohei or even gokerda would have a changed opinion about him.

Reading your posts I started to see Yamamto is a bit unhinged and that made me love him more because your analysis of him were really awesome.

Who do you rank as the most moral in the tenth gen besides Tsuna?

hi nonny, thank you for the ask! and thank you for liking my analyses! 💖

okay so, i’ll have to first disagree with the premise of your ask here, because i personally don’t think all the guardians look at tsuna as their moral compass. like mukuro and hibari come to mind first, because they’re already firmly their own person and totally independent from tsuna when they first meet him, and it stays like that throughout the whole manga. chrome is the same too, not connected to tsuna in such a way he’d be something like her moral compass.

ryohei and lambo value and care about tsuna’s opinions a lot, for sure, and they totally have the power to influence their own, but when it comes to lambo especially i think they’re also too much their own person to not be able to take their own stand when it comes to it. and it might be a bit weird to say that about five years old lambo lol, but i just think spending his first five years of life as purely a mafioso is plenty enough time to do lasting damages, and for his and tsuna’s morality to never quite align to the point lambo would solely use tsuna as his moral compass going forwards (especially when tsuna, does not, in fact, take lambo away from the mafia world, the very opposite.)

gokudera of course values and cares about tsuna’s opinions even more too, and is all but too happy to let them influence his own, and does use him as his moral compass, but for me it’s because he’s, once again, happy to disregard his own to follow tsuna’s instead. like, plenty of times he jumps first to violence and tsuna has to stop him from it, so he clearly still has a pretty firm moral compass of his own.

yamamoto though. he’s actually the only one i’d say does look at tsuna as his moral compass. and like gokudera he still has one of his own, but not only he disregards it for tsuna’s instead, but makes tsuna his moral compass entirely. and actually @ our-happygirl500-fan added this very interesting addition to one of my posts demonstrating just that and showing when the shift happened, what with yams being resolved to “kill” daemon after tsuna first killed byakuran during the future arc.

so yeah, i just had to cover that first. now about that trope i was also used to see often enough back then... honestly i find it super funny now you made me think about it again now, because, like, not only killiing people comes with the job for a mafioso, but it’s also the most basic thing about it? even the killing of innocent people, or simple bystanders or whatnot, even by accident or whatever? like, that’s just a tuesday for mafiosi? cannot not be one?

and i get that it’s a lot less about the killing and much more about tsuna being the one to do it, but surely by that point tsuna would be as much a mafioso as any of them (actually which timeline are we talking about here, present or future? because it’d change things depending on the answer)? surely?

so what i’m saying is that i don’t buy it at all lol, though absolutely no shades to people who wrote or are still writing it, because i totally get the appeal of the narrative implications of this trope. but no, i don’t think it’d change the opinion of any of the guardians about tsuna, and least of all that it’d made them turn their back on him, even if the oc in question was someone they were very close to or something. not after everything they went through. not when getting someone killed is so common in the mafia. and especially not when tsuna killed byakuran in the future arc right in front of them, and none of them gave a shit about it (though again, i understand it’s about how innocent whoever gets killed was, so byakuran is of course a different case here, but still.)

i do think it’d be off-putting at best because it is tsuna we’re talking about here. and they’d be some getting used to too, and some adjusting to do at first, more or less rough depending on how relevant who got killed was and how they got killed, but they’d eventually get over it. not back to the same dynamic they had before, because i think it is bound to change their dynamics (it’s no fun and not interesting if it doesn’t), and maybe they wouldn’t ever grow as close again as they were before either, but i don’t think for a second it’d change their resolve to stand by tsuna’s side no matter what and to the very end.

what would be the actual last straw that would make them give up on tsuna though? personally i think... i think if tsuna liked doing it, then that’s an entirely different story. if tsuna killed them on purpose, in cold-blood, just because he wanted to independently of other factors that might or might not have been forcing his hands to do it, and if he never comes to regret it at all, then... then he wouldn’t be the same tsuna they resolved to stay at the side of no matter what anymore, would he?

and it’s interesting you said yams is more unhinged than he first appears to be, because when you asked me who i think is the most moral among the 10th gen except for tsuna, my first thought was “well, not yams for sure” lol. and you know what, i stand by it because, like. yams of course is a good person and cares about being a good person, but all bets are instantly off the second you cross the line. see him and daemon once again. see him and his fight with gokudera against gamma, though of course this isn’t really an example of his morality, or lack thereof.

for me yams is moral, but only as long as it’s easy for him to be, as long as it doesn’t cost him anything he cares about to be, and only as long as the other party is playing nice with him too. and like, i guess reborn doesn’t call him a natural-born hitman for nothing, huh? so for these reasons i’d actually put yams pretty low on the list.

on the other hand i’d actually put mukuro pretty high on that list, and i mean. well, that’s just canon, isn’t it? all his anger and hate and prejudice is because he’s painfully aware the world wronged him (and so many others) when it should have never been allowed to. it’s because he realizes how immoral the world is allowed to be without any consequences, and because he cares that no one seems to give a shit about it or is willing to do something about it except for him. so yeah, for me mukuro goes in the “has a pretty solid morality” category, even if he does disregard it whenever he needs to because for him the means justify the end.

basically i think i’d put it like this, from most moral to the least moral: (tsuna) > ryohei > mukuro > hibari > lambo > chrome > gokudera > yams

and this feels like the right moment to say i am talking about morality here, and not whether they’re good or bad people, because for me they don’t necessarily always come together. (by which i mean, i do think they’re all good people independently of where i put them on this list, so please don’t come at me telling me i’m slandering them when i’m not lol.)

i put ryohei second because he’s the most normal one and the one who lived the most peaceful civilian life, you know? the one who had to confront the least the world is unfair at times, and so can get angry with his whole chest when he witnesses wrong being done, and do something about it without thinking about it twice.

then mukuro for the reasons said above, then hibari, even if i actually think he’s pretty much neutral about it. because discipline can’t really play favorites and still be fair, can it? but overall i feel like he can bother doing the right thing even if he doesn’t get to bite anyone strong to death in the process lol.

then lambo also for the reasons already said above, because even if i think he never truly unlearns what he learned during his first five years as a mafioso, meeting tsuna and living with him and being taken care of by him made, of course, a huge impact on him in the good way.

then chrome, even if i actually feels she’s pretty much neutral about it too. but she wants what mukuro wants, and wants to protect him and make him happy, so for me she wouldn’t hesitate doing the most fucked up things if that’s what it’ll take, and would never think about it again lol.

then gokudera because he’s a mafioso to his core first even more than lambo, and finally yams for the reasons also already discussed above. tho actually i’d just as easily put yams before chrome instead too.

super curious about what anyone else thinks about this tho. discuss? 👀

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr meta #sawada tsunayoshi #vongola tenth gen #khr asks #Anonymous

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willowfolksong · 3 years ago

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hi i just found your blog recently, i almost finished all of the fics and i love it? you're such a talented writer! im so excited to see the next chapter of your miya twins fic btw! then i saw your request are open so im so excited to send one! may i request some angst to fluff with unrequited to requited love trope (actually it's friend to lovers too hehe) and the character is akaashi x f!reader? like they're childhood friend and he's been in love with her for a long time but he knows she's just not into that at that time like she always thought that 'the right person will come at the right time' so he still waiting for her then one day she sees akaashi differently and just realized the the right person always with her all of this time. im sorry if this is too specific>< and im sorry for my broken english too. thankyou and have a good day!🥰

paper planes and shojo manga

- Akaashi Keiji x Reader

- SFW

a/n: hi anon!!!!! first of all, don't apologize for your english!!!! I understood you perfectly! Second, thank you so much for your words. 🥺❤ I feel so happy that you think that way about my blog and my writing! And about my miya conundrum fic too!!! Honestly, thank you. I'm beyond grateful for words of love like this! ❤❤And here's your request! I'm such a sucker for unrequited to requited love, so I had the best time writing it. And dont worry about being too specific! Specific requests are the best! hope you like it and always tell me what you think and if you need anything changed!

Love,

Willow ❄

Requests are open! ❄

The first time you two meet, you have a manga book in your hands. And it's funny, because neither of you can read yet. That's why you're there, on your first day of primary school.

"I just like the pictures and the colors" you tell him, turning the page "Wanna read it with me?"

"I wouldn't call it reading if we're not actually reading" he tells you, but sits beside you nonetheless.

You talk about everything you see, pointing at every characters you think is cute and theorizing about what you think they're probably saying. He nods at all, absentmindedly.

That day, he makes his first friend.

He sits beside you, and you like to throw little paper planes at him when he's not looking, and pass him small notes with silly jokes and dumb drawings of the teacher. He keeps all of them, stuffed in the bottom of his backpack until middle school arrives, and he empties the bag on the bed and every little paper you ever passed him during class comes falling down, like snow. He looks at them— eyes scanning your handwriting in those bright colors you like to use, from the glittery pens you insist on buying. He takes them all and puts them in a jar on his desk, right next to the picture of the two of you in front of the school.

He realizes he likes you in your second year of middle school, when you start talking about boys as more than just regular people to hang around with. You still read manga— and now that you can also understand what the characters are saying, it has become more like an obsession for you, so it's in a comic book store where he first notices. He's examining a book he grabbed from a nearby shell when you come running towards him, face flushed and out of breath.

"Okay, so don't look now" you tell him, and he refrains from pointing out that he can't look at anything, since you're both surrounded by shelves "But the guy on the register is really cute"

He frowns, having lost any interest in the book in his hands "What?"

"He's really cute" you say again, giggling "I need to buy more stuff so I can spend more time in front of him"

You end up buying the two new volumes of your favorite manga series, as well as a complete new set of one you've heard people talking about, saying it was good. He stands behind you, having bought nothing for himself, as you twirl your hair around your finger and laugh at the jokes the guy working on the register makes.

Akaashi goes back home to stand in front of the mirror beside his bed. He doesn't look at all like the guy from the store. His hair and eyes are dark, and he's wearing nothing but a simple white t-shirt and some pants. He looks to the side, to the desk where he has more stuff about you than himself.

He pushes the twinge of sadness in his chest aside, in favor of texting you to see if you got home safely.

He catches you in his arms and spins you around with ease, resisting the urge to bury his nose in your hair. He's sweaty from the game, and it's already good enough that you let him hug you in your nice dress.

"You did so good Keiji! You're the best in the team!" you yell, when your feet touch the ground again, shooting an apologetic look at one of his teammates passing by your side in that exact moment.

"I wouldn't say I am the best" he says, chuckling fondly "But thank you. And I'm glad you came"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world! It's so fun to watch you play volleyball!"

"Is it?"

You vigorously nod "It is! You're also the only one that puts some passion to the game. Are your teammates even trying?"

He refrains from telling you that you're the main reason for his excitement.

You have your first date ever on your third year, arguing that it's your last chance for dating anyone from class anymore, since you'll all probably be going to different high schools.

'You could date him', he thinks while he listens to you ramble about the lucky guy, nodding along as you walk down the school hallways.

'You could date him', he thinks as he walks you home, and you insist for him to come inside with you to help you stay calm.

'You could date him', because there's a picture of the two of you during a school field trip by your bedside table, and the stuffed animal he won for you in the summer fair is resting against your pillow.

'You could date him', he says to himself, as he waves goodbye to you and watches you walk away, on your way to a date with a boy that doesn't knows about your favorite food, or color, or about the little things you do when you're nervous and everything else that makes you simply you.

You call him later, when he's already in bed and dozing off, to tell him the date didn't go as you expected, and the guy turned out to be kind of a douch bag. You're not crying, but you sound so utterly disappointed and tired that he can't just go to sleep and not do something; so he turns on his laptop and spends the night googling any new manga you haven't read yet. He ends up learning a lot about genres and styles of drawings, and when the morning light shines through his window, he has a full list of recommendations ready for you.

It's been a long time since he figured out how reading cheers you up.

He finds out about Bokuto Koutaro thanks to a high school volleyball video, in wich the passion for the game is so clear on the ace face that Akaashi actually spends the whole match following him around with his eyes, intent on every one of his moves. He decides that he will be attending Fukurodani Academy the next day, and it's beyond thrilled to find out that you'll also be going there.

"So you'll keep playing volleyball in high school then?" you ask him on your way home.

He nods "Yes, I think so"

You hum, pushing a lock of hair behind your ear "And you really want to be on Fukurodani's team because of this Bokuto guy, right?"

"Well, they do have a pretty solid team, it's not only about him" he tells you, watching as your mouth forms a perfect 'o' "But yeah... his passion for playing did impressed me. It's so different from the guys I've played with this three years"

You wink at him, amused "Should I be jealous of this guy, Keiji? The way you talk about him is too much"

He laughs and grabs his bag a little tighter. You should hear how he talks about you.

Bokuto Koutaro turns out to be more than just the guy that impressed him enough to chose to attend Fukurodani Academy. He soon becomes Akaashi's friend, and by extension yours too. He has a bubbly personality and the most loud voice Akaashi's ever heard, and his mood is as ever changing as the moon, and he can be a little overwhelming at times, but being with him is fun regardless, and soon the three of you become an inseparable trio, despite Bokuto being your senpai.

"You should tell her" Bokuto says one day after practice, completely out of the blue "Want me to tell her for you or something?"

Akaashi pauses, avoiding Bokuto's eyes because he knows, without asking, what he's refering to "I'm not following"

When Bokuto says your name, he blinks and pushes his locker room door closed "I mean, you would have to be blind not to see it"

"We're just friends"

Bokuto shrugs, both of his hands behind his back "I mean, sure. But like, the way you look at her. It's the same way I look at the ball before serving"

Akaashi laughs at the analogy, taking his stuff to go home "I bet it is"

You start dating Konoha on your second year of high school, and Akaashi stands in front of his mirror the day he finds out, the same as he did many years ago after you flirted with that guy from the comic book store. Once again, nothing but normal eyes and hair stares back at him. Konoha has blond hair. Maybe, he was always too plain for being something other than your friend.

Bokuto tries to cheer him up, and even goes as far as to give Konoha the cold shoulder for a week, until Akaashi asks him to stop, because this isn't anyone's fault. Bokuto also offers to tell you about his feelings, but Akaashi quickly dismisses that option. You don't see him as anything but your best friend, and he would never dare to ruin that.

He keeps himself busy by reading the manga he knows you like, in the places you used to hang out before your days were filled with dates and romantic escapades. He hangs around Bokuto more, plays volleyball more, and tries to put upside down the picture of the two of you he has on his desk, right next to the jar still filled with all the paper planes you sent flying towards him a long time ago. It lasts for a day, before he has to place the picture back up again.

He needs to see your face before going to sleep.

He hugs you a little too tight after his game against Eiwa High, during the Tokyo Nationals. He's thankful for Bokuto distracting everyone else on the team— including Konoha — with his yelling about winning and looking cool, and this time, Akaashi does buryes his nose on your hair.

"You were as cool as always" you tell him, leaning forward to whisper in his ear "Much more cool than Bokuto, but don't tell him I said that"

"Your secret is safe with me" he reassures you, and the two of you laugh at the same time.

"I kind of miss you, you know?" you tell him, and it's so sudenly and he's still recovering from that victory high, that your words punch all the air out of him "I'm sorry if we haven't been spending that much time together... I never realized having a boyfriend could be so draining"

"Are you happy?" he asks you, and you stop talking to look him in the eyes.

"What?"

"Are you happy?" he asks again, and he doesn't wants his thoughts to linger on how much it takes you to answer.

"Yeah, I am"

"Then that's all that matters to me"

You end up breaking up with Konoha a couple of days before him and Bokuto's graduation, and Akaashi can't say he's glad, because he isn't. He's just relieved. Bokuto is leaving, but you're staying with him, and things might return to normal now. To the way they used to.

"It's just weird, you know?" you tell him, as the two of you walk back home after dropping Bokuto at his place "I don't... feel bad"

"You don't?"

"I mean, yeah. I'll probably miss him. But not too much?" you say, frowning.

Akaashi nods, not too sure on what to answer "I see"

"It's just... you know? I've always thought that the right person would come at the right time. It's silly, right? Might be all those shojo mangas I've read, acting up on me"

"I don't think it's silly" Akaashi says, because somehow, he thinks he feels the same.

His right person came around twelve years ago, and its walking by his side right now.

"Well, maybe Konoha was never the right person. And maybe high school wasn't the right time either" you reason, taping your bottom lip with your finger "What do you think, Keiji?"

He thinks walking home beside you is the best feeling in the world.

He's going to a different college. He's going to a different college and you're not sure why, but the thought leaves you in tears. He tells you one day, during lunch, his eyes never leaving his bento. He wants to major in Literature. You congratulate him, telling him you know he'll do great. When you get home, you throw your bag in a corner and plop on the bed without even taking your uniform off.

The next day is not any easier, and you start to question your attitude. Akaashi and you would remain friends, you're sure of that, even if he goes to a different school than you for the first time ever. So then what's the problem? You don't find it that day, but when you get home, you notice for the first time that you have an entire wall covered in yours and Akaashi's pictures.

"I've never asked you this" you tell him, sitting cross legged on his bed, with a Math book on your lap "But what on earth is in that jar?"

Akaashi follows your gaze, and you notice him hesitate for a moment before answering "The little airplanes and notes you used to throw at me when we were in primary school"

You blink, something heavy taking hold of your throat "You kept those?"

"Yeah"

You go back home and like a robot, walk towards your closet and dig around your stuff without really registering what you're doing. You find your old backpack in the back, a light layer of dust covering it. You empty it on the floor. Inside, its every little note Akaashi sent back, those times he didn't think the teacher would caught him passing notes to your desk behind his back.

You sit in the middle of the mess and cry, because you've realized for the first time that maybe you've been in love with Akaashi forever.

You ask him to meet you at the store he's been accompanying you since the two of you met, to buy the mangas you love. You notice him eyeing the cashier wearily, but he doesn't says anything and you're too nervous to point random facts out. You stop in front of a shelf on the back, the one with the shojo mangas, and turn to him slowly, taking a gulp of air.

"Something wrong?" he asks you, worry evident on his face.

You pick up a random book out of the shelve to your left and open it, not paying real attention to anything inside "Say, Keiji..."

"Yeah?"

"What do you think is the best way of confessing to someone... in a shojo manga?"

He eyes the book in your hand, and then looks back at you "I don't know. I suppose it depends"

"Depends on what?"

"On the characters" he explains, and you nod, chewing on your bottom lip "Sometimes an out of the blue, surprise confession is best for certain characters. After you never even noticed they liked each other"

"Right"

He shrugs "Those are pretty common"

"And other times?"

He hums, glancing at his side and taking a look at some of the titles lined up there "Other times it's something that happens after a long wait, and you know at least one of them has been pining from afar"

You swallow down your nerves "And those are... those are the best right?"

His gaze snaps back to you "What?"

"Yeah... you know..." you say, fumbling with your words "Sometimes a girl has been in love with a guy for a long time, but it's been entirely oblivious too and even dated other boys" you notice him tense, clenching and unclenching his fists, but you're too busy burning a hole in the pages of the book you're holding to life your eyes towards him "And then one day... the girl wakes up and can't stand the idea of the guy just slipping away, and the pain just makes her realize that she's in love. With the guy, of course" you clear your throat "Might have been for a long time"

He takes a couple of seconds to answer, and when he does, his voice is nothing but a whisper "And how would the girl confess her love then?"

"Well..." your hands are trembling as you talk, and you wet your lips before finishing your sentence "She might do it in a comic book store. You know. Self-conscious literature and all that"

Akaashi says your name then, and you weakly nod and don't put up any resistance as he takes the book from your hands, grabbing your shin and making you look him in the eyes.

"Do you want me to show you what usually happens after a shojo manga confession?" he asks, his breath ghosting your lips.

"Yes please"

He kisses you softly at first, a feather light touch that leaves you wanting more, because you've never felt this much from just a single kiss. You almost whine in relieve when he halfheartedly places the book back on the shelf to take your head in both of his hands and part your lips with his, deepening the kiss and pushing you against the wall. His tongue tastes of desperation, and bottled up feelings, and his body fits against yours like a puzzle you've spent too long trying to solve.

"I'm sorry if this... if I'm ruining anything" you tell him between kisses, and he throws his head back and laughs— the most beautiful sound you've ever heard.

"Ruin? I've been waiting my whole life for you. And I was willing to keep waiting forever"

You chuckle, eyes filling with tears— this time of joy "Good thing our shojo manga doesn't have the budget for that many chapters, huh?"

You go to different colleges, but your newfound love remains strong. Akaashi would end up working for a manga magazine later on, and you think it couldn't have been any more fitting for your own shojo story, as you sweep the dust off the desk where now two jars full of little paper planes rest together.

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dextixer · 3 years ago

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RWBY fandoms poorly disguised hatred of rewrites and fix-it fics.

Rewrites and fanfictions that modify or even attempt to fix a work are not an uncommon sight in modern fandoms. More often than not they are received in the way that those works are meant, as something that fans want to do to ADD to the work in question, or to fix the things that they deem or perceive to be not so good.

I have seen such works in many fandoms, Mass Effect, Warcraft, Harry Potter, Familiar of Zero etc. Many times fanfictions dont even label themselves as "fixing" anything but still go out of they way to change things for the better. Although there are times where the authors very clearly mention what in the original work vexed them and what they intentionally went out of their way to change.

In most of these fandoms such works do not really gain much attention besides the positive attention of those who choose to search for them and read them.

This is not the case with the RWBY community.

At the end of the day, RWBY is a very flawed work for many people. It is flawed yet still enticing enough for creators to lose themselves in it. Remnant is a world of opportunity for any aspiring writer. It is a world that both has very clear concepts, yet is also so vague that it can be modified to almost anything one wishes. This is of course a verdant ground for fanfiction and rewrite creators of various kinds, not to mention animation creators.

And yet there are still people to this day that go out of their way to hate RWBY rewrites and even fanfictions, for the sin of not being RWBY. In my opinion that is quite frankly insane.

It is quite common for me to see people not even READ or even bother to look into the rewrite projects or fanfictions that they then decide to talk about and pan. Some people even go further and create lies about those projects.

The more extreme behaviour such as lying or outright hatred of course applies to a subset of the community, not the entirety of it, as such i will not put the blame on the fandom for that, but the wider fandom itself still has a problem too.

It is not uncommon to see an opinion that the very CONCEPT of a rewrite is arrogance. That even if you are not boasting that the fact that you even DARED to write and consider yourself "able" to write something as "great" as RWBY, is heretical. In my opinion this is just a horrible opinion that forces rewrite projects to drift away and consider the fandom as something to avoid rather than to embrace.

This kind of mentality has progressed so far that it has even spilled over to projects like RWBY:Queendom. When more details about it were announced, parts of the fandom showed their ass publically, they INSTANTLY started shitting on it, trying to find ways to somehow put it down, even going into full on racist category by being derogatory to japanese creators of anime/manga.

At the end of the day i think that rewrites and fix-it fanfictions should be accepted for what they are, attempts by people to fully realize a world that they think has not been realized by its creators. And if many other fandoms dont have problems with that, neither should the RWBY fandom.

And yet, sadly, it seems that the longer the show goes on, the more entrenched some of the fandom are in their open disgust and hatred of even the concept of rewrites, and it is quite saddening.

I hope that the fandom course corrects at some point, but until then, let us all support these works by sharing them if we are able. Especially that since even deciding and going through with creation of these works is a feat that many would not even dare to attempt.

#rwby #rwby discourse #rwde #best of r/rwbycritics #rwby discussion

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helena-thessa · 3 years ago

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Hi Helena! Big fan of your writing here🥺♥️ Your rivamika fics are my safe space 😭 (if you have time to answer) i’d love to know when you first started shipping them, why, and what made you continue to love this ship (or anything else to do with your journey as an RM shipper)? i love your characterisation of both levi and mikasa individually, but even more so, your portrayal of their dynamic as a couple, which is why i wanted to ask so badly ☺️ x

Hey anon! Oh woah, first of all, thank you so much. Second of all, oh god, you probably shouldn't have handed me the mic. heh 😅

I’m afraid to look at the word count of this response, I’m sure it’s much more than you bargained for, but I appreciate the question and enjoyed thinking through my response (: Most importantly, I’m so glad you find my stories as a safe space. It’s really an honor. Thank you for sharing with me 🖤🖤

TL; DR As a longtime reader, writer and lover of stories and story-telling, by being someone who pays attention to how stories are crafted and deliberately developed from beginning to end, I sincerely thought Isayama was setting up rivamika as an endgame relationship. So, I read into and interpreted meaning out of ALL their interactions and became deeply invested.

I don’t necessarily ship them cause of the parallels, age gap, enemies to lover trope, height difference, or some of those common reasons and/or kinks. I’m more basic and boring than that. I love the concept of them coming together as though it’s inevitable.

They both are unbelievably strong, selfless, and have suffered so much loss— so, no one else could truly understand them as well as they can understand each other. They both probably would have always settled for a stable, simple life, and been alone and lonely even without realizing it— instead, they find each other, and realize what it means to actually no longer be alone, to do more than just survive. It’s this understated bond, as opposed to a dramatic and passionate romance, that I envision in them and that I love so much.

Then, the passion, heat, the romantic "spark"— I think that’s an added bonus, the cherry on top, the perfect final puzzle piece. They’re both so physically capable, can speak through their actions, and don’t show much need or capacity for emotional/ verbal communication, so the ability to connect with each other through physical intimacy and mind-blowing sex seems like another given.

Still, at the end of the day, for me it comes back to their ability to fully depend on each other, to the inevitability. Not like some soulmate trope where they 'have no choice' in it, but like the stars aligned to prove it's right. How each of them have only one other person on the whole planet who could see and understand them, to be on par with them, to make them realize there’s more to life than settling and surviving, and they happen to find it in each other.

You asked, I rambled 😅 Here’s a breakdown of my thought process in my rivamika journey. For those who make it to the end or want to skip to the end, I'll finish with the excerpt of the very first rivamika scene I felt compelled to to write.

I've tried before to re-watch and remember the exact scenes, exact moments, that initially captured my full attention, but I guess it was all of them, the gradual and cumulative compilation of their earliest interactions.

Mikasa always appearing cool and indifferent, and paying no attention whatsoever to others fawning over, like Jean initially falling for her, but then her strongly reacting over Levi in the courtroom showed how uniquely capable he was at getting under her skin.

Of course, the scene in the forest chasing the Female Titan was a critical one. I think of that as the first time both Levi and Mikasa were truly able to see the other's strength, mental and physical. And for them, orphans and trauma survivors who have suffered extensive loss, I think that seeing strength in another person made them feel less alone. Less alone in a deep, quiet but cataclysm, life-altering sort of way, even if not a romantic one. Like they didn't know it was something they didn't have, something they didn't expect to get from life, but then found it with each other.

(Even when we found out Levi was an Ackerman, I was disappointed if it meant they were immediate relatives, but willing to accept it wouldn't be a romantic end to loneliness, it would be a familial end to loneliness. But... the author never explored that. Not once.)

In that forest scene, manga and anime, the way that Levi pauses to really look and see Mikasa and think about who she is, what she’s gone through, and how strong and dedicated she is now— that was a defining moment. It was also a visual demonstration of Levi breaking character, from aloof and ruthless, to considering and curious. I thought Yams was showing both of them do that on purpose.

Then, Levi getting hurt because of Mikasa in that scene felt like another clue. Sure, it was while saving Eren, and sure, it could have been meant to humanize super-soldier Levi, or sure, it could have been another aspect of how Mikasa rushing into things over Eren ends up hurting other people that later changes in her character development, but it felt like a very pointed statement about Mikasa being a vulnerability for Levi. And that's swoon-worthy, right? Most of us have been exposed to and conditioned by stories about how special and romantic it is to be the one and only girl who can make an otherwise disinterested or unattainable guy actually pay attention to her, and so admittedly I fall right for it.

I’m sure I’m forgetting plenty, but the opening of season 3 felt like confirmation. When Levi figures out Kenny's behind things and entrusts Mikasa with instructions to share with the others, instructions about fighting people instead of titans that ultimately everyone else besides her struggles with, and when Mikasa lets Levi hold her back from chasing after Eren, her most important way of trusting and having faith in Levi, I honestly took that as cues from the author that rivamika was endgame. I let myself get truly invested from then on. That’s that understated bond I was referring to. To me, that unspoken but undeniable trust is the most important dynamic.

Seeing them fight together or fight similarly has always been fun and powerful and fulfilling.

I'm newer to the snk club. I was originally an anime-only fan and started watching in fall 2019, I think. I wasn't on tumblr, twitter, or anything else to see fandom discourse. So, I didn't know that the rooftop scene of Mikasa fighting Levi over the serum was such a staple for our ship until much later. I love the scene just like many do for all the reasons we do, but I don't think the actual scene was pivotal for me, so much as it's aftermath. I thought it represented two things.

One, it was an important marker in Levi's characterization. Hands-down one of the most striking scenes to me is the one where Levi is in the alley, somber and alone, listening in on Eren, Armin, and Mikasa talking together. It artfully shows his longing for hope and connection. So, when Levi chose Armin for the serum, that represented Levi choosing hope. And when Mikasa ultimately gave up fighting Levi and didn't choose Armin, which Armin finds out about later on, I see that as an important marker in Mikasa's development. It puts a wedge between her and Armin/Eren [Armin, because he knows she would have let him die, and Eren, because Armin is too special to him and he couldn't look at her the same way after realizing she would have let him die]. That distance between her and her childhood friends is one I don't think could ever be healed completely, one of those painful lessons in growing up. By doing that, it then also puts a distance in Mikasa's own childhood self to her current self. I thought that matured her and separated her out in a way that was another clue toward eventual rivamika developments.

That's a whole other conversation on Mikasa, but I’ll stay on track. Her love for Armin was absolutely authentic and fierce, but at the end of the day, at the core of her being, she chose survival over hope. Meanwhile, Levi chose hope over survival. To me, that was soft, fertile ground for the reasons why eventually, if/when Mikasa found hope and chose hope, that could directly tie together with her inevitably in coming together with Levi. Again, less butterflies and fireworks, but more natural and in a way that was just a given.

I wrote Beyond the Walls before reading the manga from the Marley Arc and on, so that's why most of that story is her journey into embracing that hope. *manga spoilers* There's a lot of meta, criticism and talk about Mikasa's silent, off-screen and subtle style of character development in the Marley Arc and afterward. I won't go down that road, I'm still processing the end of the manga to be honest, but I think it's fair to say she does eventually end up choosing hope over survival when she lets go of Eren and saves humanity instead. I love the “Stay with Me” line and think it’s perfect; a simple but profound display of trust and their deep-rooted bond in a really understated way. *end manga spoilers*

Here's something I always wanted to talk about in full but haven't. It honestly reads to me like Yams was building toward rivamika, and didn’t do anything to stop that until too late. There are tools authors can use to ensure we stop shipping a pair or start shipping a new one; love triangles are commonly used in every artistic medium and we’ve all been persuaded by these tools. But Yams didn’t use these tools to make sure readers didn’t feel convinced by rivamika. For all the reasons I listed above, more I'm forgetting, and for the following:

If he wanted us to think they were family and it would be incest, he should have added in a conversation between them realizing they were (close) family and that they weren't the only ones left in their biological family like they thought. But he didn't.

If he wanted us to think it was completely inappropriate between a child-and-adult and student-and-teacher, then he could have done something to ensure Mikasa looked childish or Levi looked older, but no. They barely look ten years apart. I do think it's unacceptable and that there's a power imbalance between a child-and-adult relationship regardless of that, and that there can't be true consent when one is a superior and another a subordinate, so I personally age-up Mikasa in my head and try to handle his position of power responsibly in my writings... but the point being, by the end of canon, there's no inappropriate or non-consensual romance between them, yet there's a lot of history and chemistry that could naturally lead to an age-appropriate and consensual relationship. If Yams didn't want us to think so, he could have made it more clear that there were reasons it wouldn't happen.

The only thing that makes sense to me is the author planned on rivamika endgame but was shamed/pressured out of it (either internally or due to others) OR that the author somehow accidentally created such vibrant chemistry and an incredible dynamic between them. Like, he didn't put enough convincing substance of eremika in, didn't make Levi look old enough, didn’t have one of them do something unforgivable in the other’s eyes, etc. Those are some of those tools he could have used. Romance was never a key component in snk. And since we now know Yams planned or needed eremika endgame for sake of plot and the conclusion of the manga, I personally think he didn't know what to do with the riveting rivamika substance and chemistry being much more convincing to readers. Once he had them so well built-up, maybe the only option he felt he had was to just stop putting the characters together. We get little-to-no rivamika interaction, platonic or practical, after season 3 all the way up until the very end. But there was so much of it beforehand ?? So, it simply doesn't make sense. I think the author just straight-up cut any and all interactions out between them because it was too convincing and moving, more convincing and substantial than eremika. But, as the end of canon shows, we needed to have some eremika buy-in. It's messy writing and unskilled in the romance department, but considering for how long and how complicated snk has been in a creative process and how lackluster the eremika romance (the main and apparently pivotal romance) is developed, I think it’s plausible to say the author effed up.

As far as writing fanfiction goes, there's just so much room to explore them. In canon, we aren't given enough insight into their individual perspectives, let alone their dynamic together, so it feels like a blank canvas to work from. I think that's part of why I love to write them, and also why I don't necessarily read much of them. When I first started shipping them while watching the anime, I read a few of the classics that were canon-verse, but I haven’t really read much since. For me, exploring and discovering them as a writer is the most fun. (It's one of the reasons Naruto and Harry Potter have such large fanfiction collections. There's so much world-building and so many characters, but there's also so much left to the imagination.)

In general, I'm drawn to strong characters, especially women, who are multidimensional enough to be real, vulnerable and soft. Mikasa is the pinnacle of that. I don’t necessarily like to write about her love or infatuation with Eren, but I do respect and admire and consider it integral to her character and her amazing capacity to love. We can have strong, kickass women who falter when it comes to love but are still considered strong for it. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive and Mikasa is a beautiful example of that.

And Levi is strong, but real and vulnerable too; he’s honestly a fantastically developed character, from Petra explaining to Eren in the beginning how he’s not the amazing hero he’s painted to be to the public, to how Levi genuinely cares for Erwin and others and chooses hope despite all he’s suffered.

The end of the manga wrecked me a bit. Kind of like Games of Thrones. You have something that was so epic and well-done for so long, a rushed ending that isn't immediately sensical and isn't fulfilling is hard to stomach. Eventually, I'll move on from the denial of that and process what I think and feel about it. The whole reason we have fanfiction is to expand on canon, but it's made me put rivamika on the back burner until I figure it out. So I'm a little less hyper-fixated on the pairing right now even though interacting with you all and asks like this remind me what brought me here in the first place. 😊

To conclude, I’ll share that the very first rivamika content I wrote was a compilation of moments I thought could be inserted into season 3. These are still moments I plan to edit and publish one day. For anyone that actually read this far, I’ll put a rough and unedited excerpt of the first scene I ever wrote about them.

Thank you again anon 🖤😊

BEGIN EXCERPT [after the rooftop fight for the serum, immediately following the ceremony where Eren touched Historia by kissing her hand]:

Part of her was embarrassed at such a flagrant act of disobedience to a superior, especially to one who saved her and countless others' lives in the past. But mostly, she was anguished by the situation Captain Levi put her in once he revoked the serum meant to save Armin and planned to use it on Commander Erwin instead. Her current ostracization and self-loathing was not entirely her own fault. Anger she felt toward herself was just as easy to wield against him.

It must have shown in the grit of her teeth or defiant tone, because he turned to look at her, more aloof than curious.

Like a flint struck to steel, it ignited the fury she felt toward him.

“I shouldn’t have hesitated. I should have just killed you,” she answered him at last, piercing him with eyes darker than the night.

He wasn’t concerned. “You’re good, but not that good.”

Her hands fell to her side, fists clenched as she stood with a single, fluid movement. Before she could let loose a threat, he sighed.

“What’s the problem, Ackerman?” He was dismissive, his shoulders relaxed and posture loose.

The fire too furious to contain, she went sailing for him with the same speed from the battlefield. Her fingers already curled, she tightened her grasp as she swung her fist into his gods-damned apathetic face.

Levi wasn’t unprepared. He easily side-stepped her, then snatched her wrist to steal her momentum. Though he tried to toss her aside, she was no less fast; Mikasa dug her heel in and spun, her other arm shoving hard into his chest.

Too graceful to stumble, Levi used the chance to hook her second arm too. He caged both her wrists in a grip so strong, she was sure it bruised her bones. Still, he only looked at her warily, almost bored.

“Shouldn’t you be grateful? I chose Armin.” If his reminder was meant to ease her anger, it had the opposite effect.

Fury and desperation gifted her additional strength. She shoved into his chest hard. Levi shifted backward, nearly forced into loosening his grip; within that split second of an opening, Mikasa slammed her elbow into his chin, rocking his head backward.

“You did,” she seethed, but as fast as the fire inside her exploded, it was doused. Her next words came out broken and damp. “But I didn’t.”

Levi remained stern and otherwise unmoving as he attempted to flex his jaw through the spasm of pain. As the momentum of the fight died down, he loosened his hold on her wrists and evaluated her distraught frame.

Mikasa immediately released her own hands and turned away from him, eyes stinging from tears she refused to shed as she focused on the stars ahead. Admitting the harsh words aloud hurt her far more than any injury she could inflict onto him.

Not only was Armin one of the only friends she had, but he’d been a steadfast one throughout almost all she could remember of her life. After the trauma of her childhood, it was Eren and Armin who embraced her, whom she learned to love. Now, though, there was a wedge between her and Armin she was not sure could ever be removed. What was worse, as deplorable and selfish as she knew it proved her to be, was the painful wedge it now put between her and Eren too.

Once again, she found Levi standing at the peripheral of her sight, close enough to see but far enough to be a blur at the edge of her watery vision.

“You almost killed me.” Levi repeated his earlier words, but he said them with an odd bite, torn between frustration and patience. “You would have killed me to save him.”

Too late, Mikasa realized he hadn’t meant these words as an accusation, but an odd form of validation. She bit her bottom lip, teeth puncturing too hard; the tang of metal was sharp on her tongue when she swallowed blood.

“You thought about letting your closest friend die,” Levi said quietly, tiredly. “But I did let mine die. I left him for dead, when I could have saved him.”

Mikasa was startled from her selfish reverie, for the first time acknowledging the sacrifice he made on that fateful afternoon. She’d been too absorbed in her own relief, and then, her own regrets to consider what the decision had done to him.

For a brief moment, she considered turning to face him, but the stark reality of the matter made her refrain. How could she feel pity for his loss, when his loss enabled her gain? An uncomfortable knot tightened in her stomach.

“Tch,” Levi sighed. He was only one notch less taciturn, but for him, that was soft. “You’ll live with your guilt, and I’ll live with mine.”

His words granted Mikasa’s tears the permission to spill. She buried her face further into her scarf, both hands trembling at the worn threads. As quietly as he arrived onto the roof, Levi disappeared from it.

It was rare for him to indulge in alcohol or celebrations, but Erwin’s absence felt more tangible than his presence ever did. Levi distracted himself with the chaos of the few remaining Scouts that Erwin had died entrusting his legacy to, and attempted to drown the pain with whatever drink Connie Springer shoved into his hands.

He found Hanji with their ale long-forgotten about on the table as they half-stood from their seat, frantic while explaining some morbid experiment in great, vivid detail to an unsuspecting and slightly horrified MP officer.

Though Levi wordlessly took the seat beside them, Hanji paused their rant to slap him hard on the back, an enthusiastic greeting flying from their drunken lips. The MP took this chance to excuse himself, a pathetic attempt at politeness, but Hanji either didn’t care or didn’t notice.

“Ah, Levi,” they smiled at his drink, though it didn’t entirely reach their one eye. “Where you been?”

Levi didn’t answer. “You know, shitty-glasses, you’re even more unbearable about your experiments when you’re drunk.”

Hanji waved dismissively and reached for their ale. Years spent in battle and command together had gifted both of them with an eased familiarity, and sometimes, genuine friendship. In the same manner he ignored their question, Hanji ignored his lack of response and went on with their original inquiry.

“Careful, Captain,” Hanji warned lightly. “Now that there’s far fewer Scouts, you having a favorite might cause some division.”

Even though Hanji meant the words, there was a glint of mischief that twinkled in their remaining eye.

“It’s not favoritism,” Levi countered bluntly, turning his vision toward the young man on the far side of the room. “Eren is simply the best chance that we have in this war.”

Hanji laughed as if he’d made a joke and Levi looked back to stare at them, unable to be surprised at their quirks or oddities any longer, but still a touch curious about what spurned this current demonstration.

“I wasn’t talking about Eren,” Hanji said at last, a pointed nod toward his injured chin.

Levi blinked. He didn’t realize he was nursing his injury with the hand not on his drink. As though it were too hot to touch, Levi dropped his hand.

Hanji was not judgmental, nor inquisitive. In a war-torn life of losing too many cadets entrusted to him, the fact that Levi found a soldier with the strength and skill to remain safe was not only rare, but worth special attention. Still, it made him too lenient.

“Sometimes I think you’d let her get away with murder,” Hanji chided halfheartedly.

When he thought of Erwin dead in his grasp, sometimes he wasn’t sure if he already had.

#my asks #my thoughts #rivamika #rivamika fanfic #lena writes

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