#i apologize i talk a lot
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
hinamie Ā· 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
3K notes Ā· View notes
beescake Ā· 11 months ago
Note
im a sollux kinnie and ur art is great. like a delicious meal. 1 million courses. my compliments to the chef.
AOGHHH TYSM I REALLY APPRECIATE IT
Tumblr media
in gratitude i present a little guy doing setup for the first time šŸ
2K notes Ā· View notes
divorcedfiddleford Ā· 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
leave the door ajar
1K notes Ā· View notes
steviesummer Ā· 1 year ago
Text
inspired by and as a direct follow up to this post by @strangersteddierthings:
Eddie is horrified. He remembers the day Steve is referring to, though clearly not as well as Steve does. He calls out as Steve raced up the stairs and hears his door slam.
ā€œFuck.ā€ He stares blankly at the wall in front of him. He canā€™t believe things went so bad so quickly. Heā€™s been trying to get to know Steve better, get closer and damn if he didnā€™t just blow the hole thing. Heā€™d shown up early, told Steve he needed to prepare as an excuse to spend some time with him. Despite everything that happened over spring break, Steve had remained guarded, standoffish no matter what Eddie tried. At least now he knew why. Heā€™d fucked things up before heā€™d known there was something to fuck up.
He feels even worse about calling him a bully. Sure, Steve had looked the other way and even laughed at some of the mean jokes others had made, but he was far from the worst. That dubious award went to Billy Hargrove, but even without him, there was plenty of people who did far worse than Steve did. Especially because Steve is right. He did hit first, metaphorically at least. He can justify it all he wants as trying to protect himself, but that doesnā€™t make it right. Steve all but admitted that as he said the same thing. He feels nauseous at the realization that maybe he was just as bad as those he decried. That for all his talk about accepting outcasts and defying convention, he was just as prejudiced. Swallowing hard, he heads back to the dining room and looks at the clock. There is no way he is going to be able to run the campaign today. Heā€™s not going to be able to focus or even play without thinking about how things might have been if he hadnā€™t driven Steve off all those years ago. He grabs the phone and dials Garethā€™s number. ā€œEmerson house, Sheryl speaking.ā€ ā€œHi Mrs. Emerson, itā€™s Eddie.ā€ Eddie is proud that he manages to keep his voice even. ā€œIs Gareth there?ā€ ā€œOh, yes! Let me go get him for you.ā€ ā€œThanks Mrs. Emerson.ā€ Eddie focuses on breathing while he waits. ā€œEddie? Hey man, whatā€™s up?ā€ Eddie breathes out. ā€œHey Gareth. Look, I know its last minute, but weā€™re gonna have to postpone Hellfire. Something came up.ā€ He could hear Garethā€™s frown through the phone. ā€œPostpone? What happened, did Harrington do something?ā€ As if he couldnā€™t feel worse. ā€œNah. Iā€™ll explain later, but can you call Jeff and Frank, let them know? I gotta call the freshman, too.ā€ ā€œAlright, but Iā€™m going to hold you to that.ā€ ā€œFair enough. Talk to you tomorrow.ā€ Eddie promises before hanging up. He weighs his options for how to tell the Party. Eventually, he decides on calling Mike, know that the younger teen wonā€™t push too much. Heā€™s dialing the Wheeler home before he can second guess his decision. ā€œThis is Mike.ā€ Eddie feels a rush of gratitude that Mike is the one who answered, rather than Nancy or one of their parents. ā€œHey Mike, itā€™s Eddie. Listen, Steveā€™s not feeling great and having Hellfire here isnā€™t going to help. Can you call the rest of the Party, let them know weā€™re gonna move it to another day? Iā€™ll keep an eye on Steve.ā€ Eddie knows Mike is a confused, given how adamant heā€™s been in the past about not canceling or moving Hellfire, but as he expected, Mike accepts what he says at face value. ā€œSure. Need us to bring anything?ā€ ā€œNah, Iā€™ve got it. Pretty sure he just needs some peace and quiet so he can rest. But thanks.ā€ They say their goodbyes and Eddie puts the phone back on the hook.Ā  With that done, he checks that the door is locked and faces the stairs. Now for the hard part. Heā€™s not sure what heā€™s going to say, if there is anything he can say that will fix this, but he has to try. Even if doesnā€™t change things between him and Steve, Steve deserves at least that much. Every step feels like it takes effort, chest heavy with guilt, but it only takes him a few moments to get to Steveā€™s door. Itā€™s closed, which doesnā€™t surprise him. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts before knocking. Nothing. ā€œSteve?ā€ If it wasnā€™t for the quiet sound of Steveā€™s breathing he could hear through the door, Eddie would think he had left. He glad that he at least didnā€™t drive Steve out of his own home. He rests his forehead on the door. ā€œIā€™m sorry.ā€ Eddie hopes Steve can hear how much he means it. ā€œYouā€™re right, I fucked up. I made an assumption and took out my anger at other people on you. And that wasnā€™t fair and itā€™s not okay. But I want you to know that Iā€™m sorry. Even if it wasnā€™t you, I shouldnā€™t have done that.ā€ He lets out a hysterical laugh as he realizes - ā€œAnd despite that, you still humor the kids when they talk about D&D and agreed to let us play here and didnā€™t punch me in the face, which makes you a better man than I.ā€ He falls silent, listens as Steveā€™s breathing slows. He isnā€™t sure how long he stands there. He wonders how many other people he hurt this way, without even realizing. Knows he wants to do better, be better. He sighs, feeling his shoulders slump. ā€œAnyway, I canceled Hellfire for today. I told everyone something came up, donā€™t worry about that. Iā€™ll make up some story, make sure they know its not your fault. And uh, Ā let me know if you want to hang out again or something. I know Iā€™ve been around a lot; didnā€™t realize that I was making you so uncomfortable, which is probably another thing I should apologize for. Anyway. Yeah. Iā€™ll see you around, okay?ā€ He waits a moment for an answer, but when none comes, he backs away from the door and walks downstairs to gather his stuff. It hurts, but he knows Steve deserves space and to be the one to initiate contact. He has some thinking to do, anyway.
3K notes Ā· View notes
fatuismooches Ā· 8 days ago
Text
Dottore and his segments get a taste of their own medicine after giving you a job of your own. (In other words, you ignore their need for attention in favor of your work, they get pouty, just like you did.)
Tumblr media
As of late, a peculiar sight had made its way into the lab. Actually, peculiar wasn't even strong enough of a word for the agents to use. They had nearly tripped over their feet once they saw the new area of their working quarters in the lab.
In addition to their Lord Harbinger's desk (that was shared amongst the segments depending on the day), there was now another desk on the opposite side of the room, and the cute decorations on it were quite noticeable. Photo frames and stationery. A comfortable and plush chair with a blanket that dropped over it.
... A plushie version of the Harbinger that laid on Dottore's desk, commissioned by you to motivate him.
(A side thought - the number of desks the Doctor had was something to wonder about. One in the lab, one in the office, one in the bedroom - no wonder things were always scattered around the place. But that was something for another day...)
And most importantly, you, Dottore's spouse, standing next to their Lord, rocking back on your heels nervously as he introduced you as their new co-worker.
ā€”
It all began when you approached your husband with a very simple request.
"Dottie, I want a job!" You said with enthusiasm, smile as wide and proud as ever. The scientist paused his work and turned to look at you with a blank expression.
"... A job, you say?" You only puffed your chest out more at his confirmation.
"Yes, a job. I mean, being your lover is already a lot of work for my poor back, but I want to actually work with you! With your research and stuff, like the old days!" Your excitement was completely serious and were it not for your health, it would have been infectious for the scholar. Rarely did he ever meet anyone who was truly interested in his work. But of course, certain restrictions have held you back for a long time now.
"We've already been over this. My work is too dangerous for you," the Doctor sighed as he turned back around to continue whatever he was doing.
"I know, I know, but I meant other kinds of stuff. I've been thinking like... a desk job! It doesn't have to be anything dangerous! I could... sort papers for you? Oh, and you have one of those fancy stamps, right? I could stamp them too! I could rewrite your notes... ah, and the best part - I could help you write reports too! You always liked my essays, didn't you?" You were doing your best to provide Dottore with a convincing case, snuggling up against his firm back. Only another sigh escaped your husband, not really that convinced.
"Come on..." you inhaled his familiar scent, tinged with that laboratory smell that never seemed to go away, but somehow brought comfort to you. "I've been so bored lately... and lonely," you muttered the last part pointedly. "I just want some work to take my mind off things!"
Indeed, there was always limited entertainment and pastimes to occupy yourself with. It was especially boring on days you couldn't get out of bed, or when no segment could afford you attention...
"And you know what, I could give those agents of yours some writing tips, too!"
Yes, there had been many times his employees were not up to his standards, despite how many of them fawned over him (for some odd reason)...
"And I'll be helping you too! It's good for everyone."
Of course, you always felt rather good about yourself if you managed to help him, being the Second Harbinger and all...
"I suppose I shall give it some thought-" Before the man could finish his sentence you started squeezing him tightly while hopping in delight.
"Oh, thank you! So, when do I start? Do I get one of your huge desks too?"
"I didn't say yes yet, darling."
"Shh... we both know what you mean!"
ā€”
And that was how you now clocked in at "work" every day with the agents (later than normal, but you had special privileges.) It was daunting at first for the poor souls, even the ones who secretly admired you from afar (being in the fan club and all.) Even though initially you were merely sorting papers, you were the most important person in that room.
However, soon enough, going to work in this dreary lab became a lot more cheery thanks to your sweet demeanor. Somehow, the atmosphere had become a lot less tense since the last time the segments visited.
The agents had little to no problem speaking to you like a normal person, after you had graciously given them tips on impressing the Harbinger.
"Psst..." you were hovering behind an unsuspecting agent, reading the report she had for Dottore, who jumped at your whisper. "You know, he might click his tongue if you give him that." Although her mask covered her face, you could see that half surprised at how you popped out of nowhere, and half agreeing with your words. Perhaps she felt comfortable enough to spill the situation to you.
"I-I am well aware of that," she deeply sighed, "but no matter what I write, my Lord always seems to be unsatisfied..." You patted her shoulder in sympathy. Having worked with Dottore since the Akademiya days, you knew very well of his distaste for certain things.
"Well, that's why I was hired, friend! To make his and your life easier! See, look here, that's a no-no, he wouldn't appreciate those details, mhm, but this needs to be elaborated on more, uh huh..." Of course, being the good spouse and employee you were, the report was converted into the best one that had ever landed on the Doctor's desk.
On your lunch break, they provided you with some juicy gossip about anything they could get their hands on (the fan club had long reaches, apparently.) Frequently you had to debunk things about Dottore... (the handbook was swiftly revised.)
Needless to say, things seemed to be going well. You looked happier. Motivated. Having new "friends" as your company (that still watched their mouth around you after a single glance from the segments.)
However... an issue arose after a while. One that seemed entirely stupid and impossible.
Now that you were so caught up in your work, when the segments finally had some spare time to come to you, they were... rejected. Yes, they had come to you, fully expecting your devoted attention and kisses that you always gave them without hesitation, but now turned away. (Even more embarrassing, sometimes in front of the agents who kept their eyes glued to their strange chemicals.)
ā€”
It was Omega, of all segments, who was turned away first. The most confident and charming of the bunch left uncharacteristically silent. He had come up behind you and traced his hands against your neck, always being the one who had no shame in touching you. You only softly giggled at the sensation and caught his hand in yours.
"It seems you've been busy for a while, dear." In truth, it was mostly you seeking him out and not vice versa, but the segment hadn't seen you invading his office in a while. The space had gotten too quiet without you.
"Mhm! But I can't imagine how much work you do. My desk is nowhere as cluttered as yours," you smiled as you felt the segment kiss your lashes.
"What do you say to a break with me?" Omega offered, already knowing what your eager response would be.
"Nah, I can't right now."
...
Your words took a few seconds to process through his head.
"Pardon?"
"I have all this work, 'Mega, and other people need my help," you shrugged your shoulders as you swung your legs. "But don't worry. I'm sure we can spend some time later!" You kissed him on the cheek and pulled your chair in before continuing your work.
Omega, the greatest segment, was reduced to a blankly staring man who had been deprived of his lover's attention for the first time.
He was irritable for the rest of the day.
ā€”
Beta was next, the poor thing.
You were always the one he blew off steam to, always willing to listen about his gripes and complaints, offering him consolation in the form of kisses and soft words.
However, you hadn't come to visit in so long, the segment was all pent up and now the agents were beginning to fall victim to him.
Fine then - he'd seek you out. Not because he needed you or missed you or anything of the sort. You were just... halting his progress with the lack of your presence. Yes, that was it.
And so the scientist, donning his grand pink bow tie, swung by your desk.
"So this is where you've been? How boring." Beta was not a segment that you'd want to do paperwork. He much preferred to be hands-on.
"Ah, Beta!" You brightened in delight at seeing one of your lovers. "I missed you!" At least you were always honest about your feelings.
... But to cut a long story short, Beta faced the same conundrum that Omega did.
Someone got turned into a floating Ruin Machine that day.
ā€”
By now all the segments had experienced being turned away from work. Alpha's signature scowl had become permanent. Zandy was pouting the whole day as he missed his parent. Foxttore kept to himself with a pathetic sopping wet eye. His segments were fighting with each other inside his mind, a great nuisance.
All because you were too absorbed with your work to pay them any attention.
... The Doctor was now realizing that it sounded like a very familiar tune sung by you. So this was what you felt for days on end? Now, it was easier for him to understand why you were always upset if you were ignored too much.
Still, it was mortifyingly embarrassing that his segments were reduced to this pitiful state just because you rejected cuddles a few times. Regardless, it was up to him to solve the issue. After all... he missed you too. He wanted you to be around him more often again.
And so the Doctor made his way to his beloved.
There you were, all cozy on your seat as you sorted through some papers. Really, he had no clue you'd be this productive, to be honest. At least it was proof that your health hadn't gotten worse, considering how well you were handling this.
"Aren't you the one who kept saying to take breaks?" His voice made you jump a bit, having not heard him walk up.
"It's you, Dottie! I was wondering when you'd come around. And of course, I take breaks, Dottore. I have lunch with the other agents!" Ah, another party that's been hogging your attention.
"You know, this job has been pretty fun, Dottore! Everyone's real nice, we make jokes, I get to write about interesting things..." You continued to go on about the research and while usually he'd be intrigued by your findings, this time he had enough.
Dottore picked you up like a long cat as you squealed from the sudden grasping.
"What are you doing?!"
"You're coming with me," was his cut and dry response as he lifted you into his arms.
"B-But I have to work on the big report for Pantalone!" Dottore's eye twitched at the mention of the banker.
"Someone else can."
"But I-"
"I'm not listening to anything you say further," he plainly said as he walked with you cuddled into his chest as you gawked at him.
Could he be... jealous? A wee bit lonely? You kept your guesses to yourself as he eventually bought you back to his room and laid you on his bed, not even saying anything to you before sitting at his desk.
Did he simply miss your presence that much? You felt a bit bad neglecting your lovers that much. But to be fair, they kinda did the same... sometimes. You got up to console your silly husband, who was just a man in your hands.
"Hey... I missed you too, dear husband... but I had to make sure no one stole the title of best assistant from me!" Dottore only sighed at your foolishness.
Of course no one could ever replace you.
"I know you'd rather die than admit it... but don't worry. You're lucky I'm sensitive to your feelings," you teased as you kissed the top of his mask. "I'll pay more attention to you and the segments, before they cause another headache for you, love. You'll give me some vacation time off, right?"
You laughed at your own joke before Dottore pulled you into his lap, biting down hard on your neck.
ā€”
"Beloved, would you care to join me in discussing your work?"
"You fool, they're obviously coming to my lab to activate a new Ruin Machine."
"But [Name] is supposed to play with me today!!"
"As if, they're far too busy to join you all with your silly games."
"You all will stress them out with this arguing. Now, why don't you join me for a cup of coffee instead?"
"Grr, gr gr, grr!"
It was good to be loved so deeply.
Tumblr media
385 notes Ā· View notes
shalom-iamcominghome Ā· 6 months ago
Text
Basically, most all my posts on this topic can be summed up as:
List of people responsible for antisemitism:
Antisemites
List of people NOT responsible for antisemitism:
Jews
999 notes Ā· View notes
Text
Hey so you remember this thing that everyone on mathblr got excited about recently?
Tumblr media
This is the hat, and it's what's called an "aperiodic monotile". This means that no matter how you arrange copies of this tile, you can never get an arrangement that will repeat infinitely (think of it like the irrational numbers of tilings). This was big news in mathematics as while sets of more than one tiles have been found that are aperiodic (e.g: The Penrose Tiles), this was the first tile that's aperiodic by itself, hence "monotile". (There are some caveats to this but that's not important for understanding this post)
However.
If you look at images of the hat tiling, you may notice something.
Tumblr media
If you look at the tiles labled 1 and 2, you'll see that one's a reflected copy of the other. In fact, any infinite arrangement with hats requires you to you mix unreflected and reflected tiles. Which raises the question: is it possible to have an aperiodic monotile that doesn't need reflections?
Presenting the Spectre, A chiral aperiodic monotile.
Tumblr media
Using only translation and rotation, any arrangement of copies of this tile will never repeat.
Tumblr media
Mathematically speaking, this is really fucking cool.
The paper on it is still in preprint, but hopefully I won't need to retract this post. A copy of it can be found here and a post going into some more details of how the shape was discovered is here.
3K notes Ā· View notes
pokeberry5 Ā· 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
inspired by those textposts about dick rocking up to the rest of titans with tim for the first time and kori et al. being like: is that the stalker kid???
bonus:
warm ups:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
2K notes Ā· View notes
inkskinned Ā· 1 year ago
Text
it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being ā€œfixableā€. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
2K notes Ā· View notes
bananafire11 Ā· 12 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
art block battle lets fucking goooo. ty for handing over custody of your critters for this /j tags below
@carnivalcentipede @minty-sweet-art @youkaimaiden @kittycarly @unknownhyperial @youlookhomophobic @friendlybageldemon @hon3ybrewery @djh4l0v3rv3r @acreepylittleguy @lovelyroseghost @itisstillnotme
157 notes Ā· View notes
essektheylyss Ā· 6 months ago
Text
One thing that I feel is really interesting and often forgotten about Essek is that fundamentally, his characterization has been from the start based upon his desperation for external perspectives and connection, which, along with much of his narrative and mechanical positioning, means that he actually has an extraordinary and almost (but not actually, as I'll show) counterintuitive capacity for both growth and trust.
(Buckle in. This is a long one.)
In particular, I would argue, knowing now that many places where the plot touches Ludinus have long been marked for connecting back into the current plot, that he was quite possibly built as a prime candidate for radicalization by the Ruby Vanguard. He felt isolated from his culture, he was desperate for other connection, and he was certainly of the type to believe he was too smart to be drawn into such a thing, given his initial belief that he could control the situation and the fallout. If things had gone any other way, he easily could've been on the other side by now.
As such, he has been hallmarked by being fairly open to suggestion, perhaps for this reason, but the thing about that kind of trait is that it is both how people are radicalized and deradicalized. This is certainly true of Essek, who experienced genuine kindness and quite frankly strangeness from the Nein and was able to move from the isolation the Assembly had engendered to meaningful and genuine connection, largely propelled by his own internal reflection. By the time Nein are aware of his crimes, he's already begun to express regret to an extent and, furthermore, doubt in the Assembly, including explicitly drawing a line against Ludinus, even in a position where he was on his own and probably quite vulnerable.
Similarly, when the Nein reach the Vurmas Outpost some weeks later, he has moved from regret for the position he's ended up carrying a heavy remorse. This makes sense! He's fairly introspective, seems used to spending a lot of time in his own head, and was left with plenty to mull over. It's not some kind of retcon for him to have progressed well past where the Nein left him; it just means he's an active participant in the world who has done his own work in the meantime.
This is another interesting aspect to him. I've talked about this a bit before but I cannot find the post so I'll recap here: antagonists in D&D have significantly more agency than allied NPCs. Antagonists are active forces, against which the party is meant to struggle; allies are meant to support the PCs, which means they tend to be more passive in both their actions and their character growth. Essek was both built as an antagonist, in a position that gives him significant agency, and also was then given significant opportunity to grow specifically to act as a narrative mirror for Caleb's arc. Even when he becomes a more traditional D&D ally, he still retains much of that, though he occupies a supporting role.
I believe that this is especially true because of the nature of Caleb's arc, which I've already written on; the tl;dr of this post is that Caleb is both convinced that he is permanently ruined and also desperate to prove that change is possible. Essek is that proof, because he is simply the character in a position to do so. But this also means that his propensity for introspection and openness is accentuated! He has to do the legwork on his own, for the most part, because that's where he is in the meantime.
But he still ends the campaign necessarily constricted; he is under significant scrutiny, he's at risk from the Assembly, and he goes on the run fairly soon after the story ends. He spends most of the final arc anxious and paranoid, which is valid given the crushing reality of his situation. It would be very easy to extrapolate that seven years into this reality, he would be insular, closed off, and suspicious of strangers, even in spite of the lessons he's learned from the Nein and their long term exposure.
So seeing his openness and lightness now is surprising, but at the same time, given this combination of factors in his position in the narrative over time and his defining traits, it's not by any means unreasonable.
But one thing that I found so delightful is how much trust he exhibits, which is obviously a wild thing to say about Essek in particular, given much of what he learns is both earning and offering trust, which was something he says explicitly in 2x124 that he's never really experienced: "I've never really been trusted and so I did not trust." It makes up much of the progression of his relationship with Caleb, and the trust that he is offered by the Nein in walking off the ship is the impetus he needs to grow.
But I think it's easy to talk about trust when it comes to people who have proven themselves to you or to whom you've ingratiated yourself, and that's really the most we can say about Essek by the time he leaves the Blooming Grove. There is this sense in a lot of discussion of trust (not solely in this fandom) that it is only related to either naivete or love, but there's far more to it. Trust at its best is deliberateā€”cultivating an openness to the world at large is a great way to combat cynicism and beget connection instead. It allows a person to maintain curiosity and be open to experience, but it can be incredibly difficult to hold onto.
It is clear that the Essek we meet now is a very pointedly and intentionally trusting individual. He trusts Caleb and by extension Caleb's trust in Keyleth, as he shows up and picks up a group of strangers from a foreign military encampment and walks in without issue. He trusts the Hells to follow his lead moving through Zadash and to exhibit enough discretion so as to avoid bringing suspicion upon all of them. He trusts that Astrid will respond well to his entrance, but he also trusts himself and the Hells enough to execute a back-up plan in the case that she doesn't. In the end, he even trusts them enough to give them his name and identity.
He doesn't scan as someone who has spent half a dozen years living like a prey animal, afraid of any shadow he runs across in an alley, withdrawn into himself and an insular family, which would've been an easy route for him to take. He scans as someone who has learned the kind of trust borne of learned confidence and a trained eye for good will and kindness, which are crucial weapons one would need for staving off cynicism in his circumstancesā€”as if he has survived thanks more to connection and kindness than paranoia and isolation. (If we want to be saccharine about it, he scans quite poignantly as a member of the Mighty Nein.)
So it is easy to imagine this trust and openness as a natural progression of his initial search for perspectives external to his own cultural knowledge. Though he makes those first connections with the Assembly to try to vindicate his personal hypotheses, he finds in them exposure to the deepest corruption among Exandrian mortals, which could'veā€”and did, for a timeā€”turned him further down that same dark path.
But it's also this same openness to exposure from the wider world that allows the Nein to influence him for the better, and in spite of the challenges he's certainly faced simply surviving over the past seven years, he seems to have held onto this openness enough to move through the world with self-assurance and a willingness to extend the kinds of trust and good will that he has been shown.
(I would be remiss not to mention that I was reminded about my thoughts on this by this lovely post from sky-scribbles and their use in the tags of 'light' to describe Essek's demeanor this episode, which is really such an apt word for it.)
343 notes Ā· View notes
royalarchivist Ā· 8 months ago
Text
I love the QSMP. Not only has it introduced me to many amazing international creators, it's also introduced me to the French and Brazilian community, who are so sweet, funny, and chaotic in their own unique ways. I love seeing fans sharing their culture and learning from one another, and I myself have learned a lot this past year. I think it's incredible how QSMP brings so many different people together ā€“ all of us united in our love and passion for this project and its goals.
But passion can often evoke strong emotions, and these strong emotions aren't always positive.
The past few months, I have seen multiple waves of hate, bad-faith generalizations of communities, and racist remarks directed at fellow fans ā€“ especially those who are part of the French / Brazilian community. This kind of behavior is inexcusable, and is in direct conflict with the mission of QSMP, which is to break language barriers and unite communities.
We are a global community with a variety of people from different backgrounds. Miscommunications may occasionally occur because of cultural differences and/or language barriers, but we should use these moments as opportunities to learn and engage with other people rather than assuming the worst about them and starting fights.
Although certain issues can be resolved with communication, sometimes itā€™s better to block and move on. Avoid spreading negativity or hate, and save yourself the headache of interacting with people who are just looking for someone to argue with.
No matter what community we're a part of or what languages we speak, we're all here to have fun. Please remember to be kind to each other. We have more in common than we have in conflict.
228 notes Ā· View notes
beanghostprincess Ā· 7 months ago
Text
Sanji and Usopp during The Sabaody Incidentā„¢ won't leave my mind.
Usopp standing in front of Sanji protectively because he is wounded and he can't fight, so Usopp will do it for him ("I'll do what you can't do").
Tumblr media
There is just something about Sanji's expression when he realizes he might actually lose Usopp. This is my interpretation, at least. He is literally frightened.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Usopp helping Sanji stand up to run away. This is crucial for something I want to point out later: Sanji needs help to stand up. (Also, Brook disappears trying to protect them both and saying he will do anything to save them even if it costs him his life. I am feeling sick).
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Sanji being self-sacrificing and blaming himself for not being able to protect them/act sooner is not new. But he does manage to gain the strength to fight when Usopp is the only one left with him and the possibility of losing him is even more real now.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The thing that I love the most about this is not Sanji sacrificing himself for Usopp, because he does that. He is like that. But Usopp not running away or moving in the slightest because he refuses to leave Sanji on his own.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Something I'd like to point out too is that Sanji actually touches Kuma before Usopp disappears. He tries to fight and protect him and Kuma could've easily sent Sanji to Momoiro Island right away, and yet Sanji was just sent flying far from the scene and forced to see Usopp disappear in front of him.
And I am not saying that "not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew" but not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew.
Not to mention that we can't deny (right after Water 7/Enies Lobby) that Usopp is one of Sanji's strongest bonds within the crew. This specific scene focusing on them both is more than enough to prove it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Sanji seeing Usopp disappear in front of his eyes without being able to do anything to save him.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Remember what I said about Sanji needing help to stand up seconds ago? Well. This is him the moment Usopp disappears. What adrenaline and the power of love do to a mf.
Tumblr media
They are so "I can lose everything, but not you. Oh God, not you" shaped.
321 notes Ā· View notes
howlsofbloodhounds Ā· 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media
Me in light of a recent reblog.
69 notes Ā· View notes
mellybabbles Ā· 7 months ago
Text
Misplaced Royalty - An Undertale Fanfic
Bad sanses x nonbinary afab reader I have high hopes for this one Info under cut!
Misplaced Royalty - Chapter 1 - MelatoninDepicts - Undertale (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own] Hello! I've been thinking about a concept like this for a while, and thanks to the help of @swiftmitsu, I've finally gotten around to starting it!
Here are the designs, some are big differences, others not so much.
Killer - Butler
Tumblr media
Dust - Assassin
Tumblr media
Cross - Knight/guard
Tumblr media
Horror - ???
Tumblr media
Nightmare - Outcast
Tumblr media
(Art is by me, please do not repost) REBLOGS ARE SUPER SUPER APPRECIATED!! Please do consider giving the fic a shot
147 notes Ā· View notes
theconstitutionisgayculture Ā· 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
I've only known him for two hours but if anything happens to my new son I will kill everyone in here and then myself
1K notes Ā· View notes