#i apologise for the way i make everything relationship related

[toshidou]

This is surprisingly not horny but i got a question,

Do you think any of the COD men have stretch marks? I personally think König and Ghost definitely have at least a few because they’re massive, but do you think anyone else does? And how do you think they feel about them?

I kinda think they wouldn’t mind them. It would be real cute if reader also has them and then they’re kinda happy that they match

this made me so soft and squishy you have no idea 🥹

i for sure think ghost has stretch marks on his thighs, signs of a man who grew quickly, only bolstered by the muscle growth from training. as for his opinion of them? he couldn't care less. there are far uglier scars on his body he's had to come to terms with, stretched skin is the least of his worries.

price has stretch marks on his tummy. although he used to have a defined abdomen back in the day, he's grown softer around the edges, and with that comes pretty lines of pink that mark his torso. price isn't one for insecurities, but sometimes he does find himself staring at his shirtless self in the mirror, a low huff accompanied with a subtle shake of his head as he mutters about the physique he used to have. but those moments never last long, after all appearances have never been at the top of his priority list.

soap has some around his biceps, he calls them his "tiger stripes" and he loves them so much, they're a sign of the hard work he put into building them up to what they are now. he'll have no qualms flexing his biceps and wiggling his eyebrows, showing off faded pink lines that stripe across bulging muscle. but the stretch marks he has on his ass? he may not be insecure about them, but the way you tease him for having such a rotund rear leaves him pink in the cheeks every time.

gaz has some on his hips and back. he's had them since adolescence, and they're not really something he's paid attention to until he catches your fingers tracing over them every chance you get. he finds it nothing short of adorably endearing, especially when he notices how instinctive the touch is to you, a mindless motion that coaxes your fingers to brush over scarred skin whenever you're both tangled together in bed.

[mv1simp]

Just Hold On, We’re Going Home ♥️

Max Verstappen x Fiancé! Reader

I got my eye on you, you’re everything that I see (I want your hot love and emotion, endlessly)

After a particularly bad argument with his father, Max is mentally checked out and needs to be pulled out of the dark place his mind has gone too. As his fiancé, you know just what to say to make him feel your love and bring him safely home.

Content includes: 18+ MDNI, smut, size kink, orgasm denial, I know I said I would never write subby max and that was apparently a LIE, but he’s more of a soft pure loverboy who needs you ok, you both have daddy issues, mild angst and childhood trauma, 3.1k WC

You can tell your fiancé’s mind is somewhere else right now, instead of at the intimate dinner you’re sharing at a cosy restaurant. You know this because you know Max well, having been friends before you two started dating, meeting as mutuals within the same extended group, and then online where you would both take a break from your demanding careers to enjoy a friendly grand theft auto competition.

Your friendship had gotten closer when you’d proved to be someone he could trust and always rely on. Especially when it came to talking about his father - a very multi layered relationship given that Max owed a large part of his F1 success to Jos’s discipline and the fact that, well, said discipline had involved emotional abuse on a good day and physical abuse on a bad one. It was a complex dynamic to unpack, and one that he didn’t really do with anyone - because he couldn’t trust anyone outside his family to not leak it to the media somehow. And within his family, the only one who came close to understanding was his little sister Victoria - who wanted to talk about it just as little as Max did.

However, you knew a thing or two about complex relationships with parents, growing up in a household with a luxury property developer tyrant of a father, and a homemaker mother who would never dare come between her husband and his demands for absolute perfection from his children, especially from you - the eldest. Similarly to Max, you owed a large part of your highly successful investment company and Oxford financial degree to your father’s attitude, which had been so sweet on days you performed, and then like a dark thunderstorm on the days you didn’t.

So you’d been the only one to see the look in Max’s eye one night when he’d had one too many to drink at a house party, and had wandered out into the garden by himself. You’d spotted him leaving, already having a growing soft spot for your friend at that stage, and had followed him out. It had taken you a while to find him amongst the dark sprawling bushes, but when you did, you promptly sat down next to the much taller Dutchman and didn’t ask him anything. Instead, you told him about the time you’d scored 99.9 on a notoriously difficult advanced calculus exam, and you’d proudly told your father about the result of your months of study, top in your class - and he’d responded by coldly demanding why you didn’t get the 100. What’d you say to him? Max slurred, morbidly intrigued by the story.

Nothing, I was way too upset I'd disappointed him. But I did go fight the Mathematics head professor about giving me the extra 0.1. You shrugged, telling him you probably should’ve just gone to frickin family therapy instead and saved yourself arguing for 45 minutes only to find out 99.9 was the highest possible mark anyways.

Max looked at you, blue eyes intense in the moonlight. You in turn looked back at him with nervous doe eyes, and when he didn’t say anything, anxiously started apologising. Perhaps you’d read his emotions wrong, you didn’t mean to overstep and relate to his own relationship with his father-

Max cuts you off to explain what had been on his mind. I’m sorry, you - you argued for 45 minutes with the department head for an extra 0.1? On top of 99.9? This time, when your gazes meet, you both burst into drunk giggles at the sheer absurdity of a five foot nothing, 15 year old schoolgirl going toe to toe with a grumpy old professor for such a thing.

He’d started opening up to you after that, bit by bit peeling back the onion layers, because you always met his confessions with no judgement because this was his narrative, and helped him reflect on his emotions and understand why, 20 years on, he still couldn't accept a compliment but easily responded to insults. And when you two finally became a couple after a very convoluted weekend in Ibiza - involving multiple schemes from both parties, various slutty outfit choices from Max that showed off his abs, and your use of one (1) Charles Leclerc to make his Dutch childhood karting rival jealous (a story for another time) - you’d heard the full tale of what Max’s upbringing had been like.

And now, 5 years on from the infamous Ibiza weekend, and sitting across from him at dinner as his fiancée, you know instantly from the look in his eyes what's troubling him. You touch his large hand gently to draw him back in, and with a startle he comes back to you, apologising. It’s been a shit last few races, yeah? You start, going straight to the source of his worries. And now a big one this weekend, Zandvoort, your home race.

Max sighs, nodding, grateful for your ability to pick up on what's on his mind without him needing to say it. On your drive home he rants passionately about all the bullshit decisions his team has been making and the problems with the car he's asked to get fix for months. You soothe him reassuringly, rubbing his hand where it rests firmly on your thigh as his other drives, chiming in to agree with his critiques and make him laugh with jokes to diffuse his tension.

And that night he shows you just how thankful he is for all your understanding, picking you up in a display of strength that always has you needy and dripping for him. He smirks as you beg him to take you to bed and fuck me, please Maxie, after he has you breathlessly stretched out on his large, thick fingers. Like the good fiance he is he gives you what you want, all his stress melting away with each strong thrust into your small frame underneath him, your tiny hands clinging desperately to his broad shoulders.

You're furious the next morning when you wake up to multiple calls that there'd been a massive PR scandal within one of your principal investing companies, sending your high profile clients into panic - including your father, who demanded you fly out to London right now to sort this out. You'd been ready to send your executive manager out instead, not wanting to miss this important race for Max - but he'd chuckled and reassured you he was sure he could handle it - having done some odd 200 races or another. So after giving him a guilty kiss, you two fly off in opposite directions. You'd meant to have arrived to the paddock by Saturday noon at the latest, in time for qualifying at least, but London takes longer than expected. You don't come until halfway through the race on Sunday, and see him take P2 after multiple mistakes on the track - both from him and his team. Despite the objectively good result, you know Max would not be pleased. Seeing the stormy expression on his face on the podium after he'd tersely greeted you post-race, you give him his space to cool off, knowing it's not personal. Instead you catch up with the other WAGs and laugh at Charles who still faintly blushes at the sight of you, thinking about Ibiza. But later, when you head to the Redbull garage, you hear raised voices arguing in Dutch - before Jos emerges from Max's room and storms away. You pause before deciding to go in, gently asking how he's doing.

Max, as you expected, scoffs and sarcastically asks how do you think he's doing. You continue reassuring him, being used to seeing him like this after a bad race, and place a soft hand on his shoulder to soothe him - only for him to rip it off you almost violently, making you flinch in surprise. He yells at you to stop pretending like you understood a damn thing, as if you'd have any idea what kind of high pressure he has to deal with compared to your comfortable office job.

You manage to hold it together as you tell him you're going to leave, you'll be flying back to Monaco and will talk to him there once he's calmed down. He rolls his eyes, telling you to get out, then and you make sure you're well away from the paddock and in the privacy of a car before you left yourself cry. Max had definitely been angry around you before, even enraged - but you'd never felt the full brunt of it come out and attack you so directly. Taking a deep breath, you focus on calming yourself down, as the argument brings up your anxieties from your own father - who had no problem raising his voice when he was angry. By the time you land in Monaco, you're ready to head back to the office, where you end up accidentally sleeping on your couch after tidying up the rest of your PR scandal.

The next day as you're coming home from work, unlocking the door to your shared apartment with Max, you stumble forward when the door is yanked open. On the other side is your rather panicked looking fiancee, who says that he'd thought that you- he swallows, looking like he was about to be sick -that you'd left. Forever. Perplexed, you tell him that you’d never do that, not without talking to him, and he launches into a frantic apology, saying that he regretted his words so much, that you didn't deserve to have him take his anger out onto you. Grateful for the sincere apology, you let him know with a genuine smile, saying that you're completely okay now, you had understood he’d been frustrated in the heat of the moment.

But Max's worried looks at you don't stop as you wander off to take a shower and then continue over your favourite dinner that he'd cooked, uncomfortable with the compliments you gave him about it - as per usual, still struggling to accept a kind word about anything he did. When you feel his upset gaze on you again when you're cuddled against his shirtless chest, watching a movie, you decide enough is enough and pressed pause to gently ask him what was on his mind.

That I just let all my anger out onto you like that without any hesitation. And the things I said about your job not being important - God, it’s something my dad would have said. His guilt at having hurt you with his cruel words make his blue eyes bright with the threat of tears. He says he couldn't just accept that you'd let it go because you thought it was fine, because it wasn't, not really, don't ever let me speak to you like that again, schat.

Bringing yourself up to straddle your fiance's wide lap, you settle in comfortably and closely examine the helpless look in his pretty eyes. It's rare for Max to get so worked about something like this, being the rather laid back guy he is off the track. But when he does get like this, all pent up from stress, his father’s expectations heavy on one shoulder and the fear of turning out like him on the other, there’s very few ways to pull him out of his head. Gun to your head, you’ll admit, you had your own personal favourite method for helping Max unwind. Because on nights like these, it's the the only time he'll hand the control over to you in the bedroom and the only place where he'll accept your compliments. With a teasing smile, you pepper him with gentle kisses, erasing away every tense line on his face.

Sure, Max you whisper breathily into his ear, biting the edge of it, I guess I did forgive you too easily. Maybe I should make you work for it, hmm? A delicious pink flush spreads across Max's cheeks, making you grin wickedly and press deep kisses into his soft mouth. He breathlessly whines when you pull away to tease your hand down his muscles chest, stopping just above his low waisted sweats. You can already feel how hard he is underneath you with the impressive semi he’s sporting. Choosing to ignore it, you climb off him and pull him along with you too. He follows you like a lost dog to where you walk over to the kitchen, dropping your hoodie as you went, to reveal a cute La Perla pink set underneath that he'd given you for an anniversary.

When you stop to lean against the counter, eyeing him coyly, he tilts his head down curiously - only to have you tangle your small hands through his messy, long locks and guide him all the way down, until he's on his knees below you. He looks positively delicious, all soft and flushed, as you coo that he needs to prove just how sorry he is, by putting that mean mouth of his to work and eating you out, yeah?

He nods eagerly, burying his large nose right into your core and breathing in, licking furiously through your thin panties and when he tries to yank the lacy garment out of the way, you swat his hand back, telling him no, not yet, he didn’t deserve it.

He whines openly then, teary and breathless against you as he kisses along your thighs, the swell of your ass, and then to your delicate ankle as you teasingly stop him coming any closer with a foot to his toned chest, your gold anklet dangling. Running a hand through his hair again, you tug on it firmly so you can smirk down at him when he begs you please, schat, I promise I’ll be s'good for you-

Your resolve is crumbling at seeing your normally in control fiancé reduced to putty in your small hands. Trying to maintain your willpower, you teasingly pull your pink bralette off first, enjoying the way Max's breath hitches, eyes wide with pure need, as he follows your hands ever so slowly slide your panties down your legs. But he still doesn't move, fists clenched into his thighs, desperate blue eyes looking up at you, waiting for your approval to touch you. You throw him a bone and slide one soft thigh over his broad shoulder, your other leg still leaning against the counter, giving him irresistible access to your dripping pussy. Go on then, baby, you tease, here's your reward.

He buries his tongue into you in half a millisecond, eating you out like he's kneeling at your altar and worshipping your thighs. His large hands squeeze your curvy ass, pulling you even closer onto his tongue as he hungrily eats you out like a starved man. You're moaning sweetly, telling him he's doing so good for you, it feels amazing, that you wonder how the world would react if they knew their favourite F1 champion was as good at eating pussy as he was at driving racecars.

Your praise has him keening, now desperately kissing and sucking your core, and somehow both your thighs have ended up draped across his strong shoulders, his large palms still squeezing your ass. This angle lets him slide in deeper than you’ve ever felt his mouth reach, face completely buried between your thick thighs, and with a few more talented flicks you’re lean back against the counter and squirting right onto his waiting tongue.

Dazed from the intensity of your orgasm, it takes you a few minutes to come down from your high, and Max slowly licks your clit in the meantime, toeing the line to overstimulation. Standing back up shakily from potentially the most mind blowing oral you've ever had in your life, you tilt his chin up to look at you with a gentle hand, giving him a kiss because he was such a good boy, all for me, yeah baby?

He nods furiously, almost looking like a cute Labrador with his blonde hair and blue eyes and you giggle at the mental image, telling him he’s earned his next treat. Max practically stumbles after you as you gently tug him up by his jaw and back over to the comfortable sofa, where he sits down after you playfully shove his chest. His muscular thighs spread wide to make a perfect throne for you to climb onto. He's still in his boxers, his bulge straining against the damp material, and you tease him with a smug smirk, asking if he'd already cum in his pants just from eating you out, like a dirty little perv?

He desperately moans out his No, no, promise I didn’t, held it all back to fill inside you, please- He becomes breathless from your mean hands that tease his cock further through his boxers. When he tried to redirect you, guiding your hand under his boxers to where he really needs it, you shove him away and tell him to keep his hands to himself. You demand to know why he thinks he deserves to put his gross, sticky cum anywhere near your sweet, precious hole, is he at least going to use some manners and ask politely?

Max pants, face flushed and blonde strands attractively stuck to his forehead as he feverishly begs you, please, schat, he needed to be inside of you so bad, he couldn't take it, hadn't he been so good for you already? You can tell your fiance is close to his tipping point, and you almost send him over the edge with a smooth motion as you slip his fully erect, huge cock out of his boxers and start lazily jerking him off. Sliding your fingers into his mouth for him to lick, you smirk as he does exactly that. Using his spit on your hands to give him a couple good pumps - making his breath hitch as he struggles to hold back his orgasm - you guide his throbbing length to your dripping pussy, which is so ready for a second round.

Max screws his eyes shut, head thrown back, as you wickedly torment him some more, dragging his tip teasingly along your puffy lips, drenching him with your slick. His hands dig into the sofa, desperately trying to resist the urge to touch you like you'd ordered him to earlier. And when you finally sink down on him, all the way to his base, he's moaning and begging again, tears in the corner of his eyes as you slowly ride him - edging his poor cock with the relief of your tight, warm cunny but not giving it quite enough pressure. And when your thighs are starting to get tired from the effort, and Max has ripped holes on your sofa while gripping the fabric, you know it's time to let him take control again.

Guiding his hands gently to your waist, you lean forward into his firm chest to whisper Maxie, baby, it's too much for you, can he please help you out and make you cum again-

His eyes snap open, wide blue eyes coming to stare into your pleading doe ones as you hand the power over to him, all dished up on a silver platter with a pretty please. He brings his forehead forward to lean against yours, your ragged breaths meeting as you feel shivers run up your spine in anticipation of what’s coming. Then, with an all too familiar smirk returning to his face, he tightens his hands into a bruising grip on your waist and easily begins bouncing you up and down on his fat cock. His wide thighs, which had been straining in an effort to hold back, now flex as he thrusts deeply into you from below, making you wail at the furious change in pace and you're screaming his name, proving once again just how good he makes you feel. You two barely last another few seconds before you're cumming, your name on his lips as he pumps an obscenely thick creampie into you.

You stay like that for a while, sweaty and tangled in each others arms, exchanging gentle kisses and loving affirmations with him still deep inside you, until sleep starts to take over. Later, after you'd showered because wow, that had been a particularly filthy session, you find yourself stroking his damp hair as he lies against your chest, the rest of his body on the bed to keep the weight off you. Thank you, liefje, he murmurs sleepily against you. At your inquisitive hmm? he presses a loving kiss to your skin, telling you his thanks was for always knowing how to calm me down. For always bringing me back home. I love you.

You smile in the dark, warmth blooming across your chest as you press a kiss to his head. Always, Max, just like you do for me. I love you too.

---------------------------------------------------------

A/N: SOO i never thought i'd write this but after zandervoot im manifesting the return of max supremacy with this. had to rewrite a bunch of times cause genuinly couldn’t picture max as sub instead of dom so lmk what u guys think!! Also… should i do a part 2 where its the reader with daddy issues instead hehehe 😼😼😮‍💨

[albertasunrise]

Work Wife - Five

Masterlist

Summary: Working as a Secretary at Miller & Sons Construction, you fall hopelessly in love with the eldest son Joel. What you don’t realise is that Joel’s completely in love with you too. What will it take for the two of you to realise whats’s right in front of you?

Pairing: Young Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose not to give any so the plot isn’t spoiled. This fic is 18+ (So… I decided I couldn’t leave this fic the way I had, before buggering off for a week… finished my book and had some time to kill in the evenings so managed to get this written 🥹… I do wanna give one warning for this particular chapter… If anyone is triggered by anything pregnancy related, read at your own risk. I apologise in advance, this chapter is pretty heavy but it will all come together I promise ♥️)

Series Masterlist - One Two Three Four

“You said yes?” Joel asked, frowning when you nodded in reply.

“Why?”

“Because we’re having a baby Joel!” You growled back

“Do you love him?”

“No, but-”

“So you’ll marry a man you don’t love because he knocked you up but won’t be with me?” He spat “You claim to be in love with me and I told you I’m in love with you but you decided that we’re no good for each other and carried on your casual relationship with Ant. Now you’re pregnant and marrying him?”

“Joel-“

“You never even gave us a chance.” He choked, hurt saturating his tone. “You never gave me a chance to fight for us.”

“We’re not good for each other Joel!” You argued and he let out an exasperated sigh as he ran his hand through his hair for what must have been the hundredth time that evening.

“How do you know?” he growled. “When we’re together, we are amazing! We make each other laugh and smile, and Sarah adores you… I know you love her.”

“It’s not that simple Joel.” You choked “I’m pregnant with another man's child!”

“And I will love it as if it were my own!” He argued, “If you give me a chance I will love you and that baby with every fibre of my being.”

“What about Ant?”

“Does he love you?” Joel asked and you shook your head.

“I don’t think so.”

“So you’re both willing to spend the rest of your lives in a loveless marriage, just because he got you pregnant?” Joel’s statement made you pause.

He was right. It wasn’t fair to either of you. Ant deserved to spend his life with a woman he loved and you deserved to marry the man of your dreams. Yet there was a baby to think about now.

“I’ll need to talk to Ant about this.” You stated plainly and Joel nodded.

“That’s all I ask.”

You both sat in a tense sort of silence for a while. Neither of you knew what to say. Joel watched you as you hugged yourself tighter, resting your chin on your knees.

“Are you happy?” He asked and you looked at him with a quizzical expression “About the baby?”

“I guess.” You replied with a shrug “I’ve always wanted to be a mum but I had hoped I’d be married first. Maybe a little older.” You paused, looking away again and fixing your gaze on something Joel couldn’t see “With the man I love.” You said quietly as silent tears started to slip down your cheeks.

“You were there for me when Sarah was thrust into my life.” He said as he stood up and made his way over to you, sitting down and pulling you into his arms “I will be here for you too! We’ll get through this together.”

“Really?” You asked, looking up at him through your lashes.

“I promise.”

You smiled at him, gave him a slight nod then rested your head on his chest. Soaking in the solid, calming presence of him.

“I’m scared Joel.” You choked, snuggling in closer to him.

“I know sweetheart.” He said softly as he placed a tender kiss on the crown of your head “But everything is gonna be okay.”

…

You didn’t go to the aquarium with Joel, but he wasn’t all that surprised. Come Monday morning you were back at your desk and putting on a brave face. Joel had promised not to mention the baby to anyone for the time being.

“I’m not going to marry Ant.” You informed him over lunch that afternoon.

“No?”

“You were right.” You confessed as you steeped your peppermint teabag in the mug in your hands, dunking the teabag in and out of the boiling water “We don’t love each other and it would be wrong to trap each other in a loveless marriage. Not fair on us or the baby.”

Joel nodded but didn’t say anything.

“He wants to be involved though. We’re going to try and work out a schedule once the baby’s arrived.”

“It’s great that he wants to be involved.” Joel piped up and you nodded and smiled in agreement.

“It’s not the way either of us wanted this to happen but there’s a baby’s coming and we’re going to love them all the same.”

“Of course you will.” Joel beamed, giving you a warm smile.

“There was something I wanted to ask you.” You confessed after a short pause.

“Shoot.”

“I booked an ultrasound. It's in a month and wondered if you would come with me?” You asked shyly, looking up at Joel through your lashes.

“Can’t Ant go?”

“He’ll be back at College by then so won’t be able to get back for it.” You answered nervously “I get it if you don’t want to come but I just thought-“

“Of course, I will come with you.” Joel stopped your rambling, placing a hand on yours “We’re in this together remember?”

“I remember.” You choked and he smiled sweetly at you.

“How far along will you be by then?” He asked and you gave him a sheepish look as you answered.

“Around 13 weeks.”

“So he knocked you up…”

“The night we went for drinks, yeah.” You confessed.

“We were a bit drunk and, apparently, not very careful.”

“Pip-“

“I know what you’re gonna say Joel and you’re right but in my defence… I was cut up over Simon and I was just looking for some meaningless rebound sex.”

“Hey, I’m not exactly one to judge.” Joel chuckled “Didn’t even know I’d gotten Eliza pregnant!”

“Was wrong of her to keep that from you.”

“It was.” He agreed “But she gave me Sarah and I wouldn’t change that for the world.”

“She’s a pretty special girl.”

“That she is.” He agreed with a grin.

“Thank you, Joel.”

“For what?” He asked with a confused smile.

“For everything.” You replied with a shrug “For talking me out of marrying a man I don’t love… for helping me keep my head.”

“You did the same for me.”

“Yeah but… I’ve made a lot of dumb fucking decisions lately. After the breakup with Simon, confessing my feelings to you and finding out you had a baby… I just kinda lost sight of shit for a while.”

“I haven’t exactly made stellar decisions either.”

“Well no but… despite me pushing you away, you’ve stuck by me and I… I’m just really glad you’re in my life.”

“I always will be.” He assured you, leaning forward in his chair “No matter what happens between us. I will always be here.”

You gave him a tearful nod and a small smile. Glad of your tea occupy your shaky hands. Things were scary and uncertain but you felt confident that Joel would stick by you no matter what and that in turn, made you wonder if not being together was the right decision after all.

…

You were just finishing giving Sarah her bottle when Joel emerged with two plates piled high with slices of pepperoni pizza.

“My hero.” You cooed at Sarah and you popped her over your shoulder and rubbed her back to coax out the burp you knew would follow. It had taken a few tries to find the best way to pull them out of her but after trying out many different techniques; back rubbing came out on top.

“How’s the sickness?” He asked as he placed your plate down on the table beside you.

“It’s, basically, completely disappeared.” You replied, “Thought it usually went on longer but I guess it can ease off sooner.”

“Have you spoken to your OB about it?”

Joel asked, trying to hide his concern at the fact your symptoms seemed to have vanished. Your scan was in a few days and you were a mixture of excited and terrified.

“I haven’t. Not had any concerning symptoms so I’m sure everything is okay.”

Joel nodded, giving you a small smile before you returned your attention to Sarah who was kicking and stomping away in her rocker you’d just placed her in.

“I am convinced she’s trying to march somewhere.” You chuckled as you placed her bottle down and picked up a slice of pizza.

“As soon as she’s able to walk we’re going to be in big trouble.’ Joel chuckled, not noticing how you had tensed at the word ‘we’.

You hadn’t spoken about the potential relationship that Joel and laid on the table a month ago. You had decided it was probably best to focus on the baby for the time being and perhaps revisit the conversation once you knew all was well.

Joel had already started to talk about how Sarah would react to a little brother or sister, and it both warmed you and terrified you in equal measure. You were thrilled to know that if you and Joel did decide to pursue a relationship with each other, he was all in with this baby. It also scared you how ready he was to take on another man's child. Would he change his mind further down the line?

He and Ant looked nothing alike which meant that when this baby was born, it wasn't going to look anything like him. Would he decide then that he didn't want to raise a child that wasn't his? You knew these thoughts were unreasonable. Joel was probably more excited about this baby than you were.

But...

That didn't stop the nagging voice in the back of your mind that told you that this man was too good to be true. Despite knowing him for several years and seeing how perfect he truly was, your hormones wanted to scare you… plant doubt in your heart.

"You're thinkin' loudly." Joel chuckled, pulling you from your thoughts.

"Just got a lot on my mind is all." You confessed. It wasn't a complete lie.

You and Ant had been speaking on the phone about him potentially moving in for a few months after the baby was born so that he could help. You knew Joel would hate that idea but you wanted to be fair to Ant. This was his baby just as much as it was yours and if he wanted to be there to help with night feeds and nappy changes then you were willing to let him.

"Wanna share with the class?" He asked and you shrugged in reply "You don't have to tell me." He said then before picking up another slice of pizza "Just know that I am here to listen. Whatever you wanna talk about."

"I know Joel." You replied with a small smile.

Sarah's screeching pulled your and Joel's attention back to her. She was grinning at the two of you and you felt like the girl knew that you loved each other. You pictured her doting over the baby growing inside of you. She'd be coming up to her first birthday by the time your little one was born. It was exciting to think about how they would grow up together. Perhaps Joel would build them a castle in the backyard so they can play and explore and expand their imaginations. When you thought about that future you saw it with Joel by your side. Perhaps a few years down the line, you may have a baby of your own. When Sarah and this little bean were a little older. It was a nice mental picture.

One that the more you thought about it, the more you yearned for it.

Perhaps it was time to revisit that conversation with Joel. He hadn't pushed you for anything. He was patient and supportive but you know it must be killing him, desperate to know how you felt about him. So you decided then and there that after your scan you would have that conversation with him. He deserved to have his mind put at ease. It was the least you could do for him.

...

Joel drove you to your appointment, his old rock playing through the speakers as Austin's streets shot past the window.

"Ant asked if he could move in with me after the baby's born." You piped up, unsure why you were bringing it up now.

"Oh?"

"It will be purely platonic." You assured him "He just wants to be there to help for the first few months. Take some of the load off."

"That seems fair."

"He's the baby's father and I feel like he deserves to be there."

"You're right." Joel's answer surprised you and you looked at him in shock, your mouth flapping as you tried to figure out what to say "If the wind changes your face'll stay like that." Joel chuckled, pulling you from your shocked state.

"You're not angry at the idea?"

"Why would I be?" Joel seemed genuinely confused.

"Just thought... Well, I assumed that you'd hate the idea."

"I get it." Joel replied, "I know if I was in his shoes with Sarah I would have wanted that option."

"So you're okay with it?"

"Do I have any right not to be?" He asked and you shrugged.

"Guess not."

"Look, we haven't made any promises to each other. Sure I hope that further down the line we might talk about us again but I understand that you have bigger things to worry about right now."

"Yeah?" You asked and he nodded.

"I will be waiting for when you're ready Pip." He stated with a smile that made your heart race "No pressure from me."

...

You were nervous as you sat in the waiting room and waited for your name to be called. Joel was a calming presence beside you. His hand holding yours and his arm resting gently against yours acting as an anchor, keeping you rooted in the choppy ocean of your mind. When your name was called you looked up at the nurse and smiled, giving her a shy wave and standing up, Joel's hand staying firmly in yours as you followed her into the examination room.

You were so nervous.

Up until this point, the only evidence you had that you were pregnant was the four pregnancy tests that you had taken. All firmly confirming that you were pregnant. You had felt foolish that you had failed to notice that you had missed a period but you had been so caught up in this whirlwind relationship with Ant that you had thought nothing of it. Now you were living with those consequences.

"So is this dad?" The nurse asked as she prepped the machine, pulling out the equipment she needed to perform the procedure.

"Just a friend." Joel replied, giving your hand a friendly squeeze.

"The father is back at College for his final year so Joel kindly came with me today." You said, "Baby wasn't exactly planned." You confessed sheepishly, pulling a chuckle from the nurse.

"They hardly ever are these days." She stated and that relaxed you. Glad that there was no judgment of your situation.

"Father to an unplanned baby, sitting right here so I can attest to that." Joel chuckled and you smiled brightly at him.

"Right well, the gel might feel a little cold so sorry in advance." She said sweetly "If you could lift your shirt and pull your trousers down a little."

You did as she bid and let out a shaky breath as you waited for her to start the examination. Holding Joel's hand tightly, you looked only at him and not the screen.

There was silence for some time. The probe slid around your pelvis, digging in at points for her, you assumed, to get a better look at your baby. When Joel's expression grew concerned, you looked over at the nurse and noted that her expression wasn't so jovial anymore.

"Are they okay?" You asked as your heart leapt into your throat.

The nurse gave you a tight smile as she said "I just need to fetch a doctor a moment."

"Why do you need a doctor?" You push and she shakes her head.

"I just want to get a second opinion before we confirm anything.

"What the fucks going on?" Joel growled and you squeezed his hand tighter, rolling your head and locking his eyes with your tearful ones.

"Just a moment." The nurse repeated as she got up from her seat and walked from the room.

It felt like an eternity before she returned with a female doctor in tow.

"I'm Doctor Sims." She said sweetly "Nurse Roberts has asked me to take a look at baby if thats okay?"

You nodded then watched as she took up the nurse's seat and resumed the examination. Hers taking a lot less time than the first. You could see it in her eyes.

It wasn't good news.

"I am so sorry to inform you that there is no heartbeat." The doctor confirmed and your heart shattered "From these scans, it appears that they stopped developing after around 8 or 9 weeks."

Around the time your morning sickness disappeared.

"We call this a silent miscarriage." The doctor continued "It's when the embryo or fetus dies but the body doesn't expel them."

A tight silence fell over the room for a while whilst you processed what the doctor was telling you. Your baby was dead.

The life you were growing that you had just started to get your head around was no longer thriving in your womb. The life you had imagined with Joel and Sarah had disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"What happens now?" Joel asked, knowing you wouldn't have the strength to ask.

"We need to give you a pill to expel the embryo." The doctor answered, trying to keep things brief upon seeing how you were silently falling apart on the examination table "To ensure we don't risk infection, we need to do this as soon as possible.

Joel nodded, squeezing your hand and dragging your gaze away from the lifeless shape on the screen.

"Pip?" He said softly and finally, you looked at him, your body numb.

"Do whatever you need to do." You said, your eyes empty of the sparkle that had been there when you first entered this room.

.

Joel pulled a blanket over your sleeping form and placed a soft kiss on your temple. After giving your permission to tell his mum what had happened, the woman offered to stay with Sarah so that he could take care of you. You stirred a little as he perched on the edge of your couch and rubbed your back affectionately.

"Will you tell him?" You asked.

"Tell who?"

"Will you tell Ant for me?" You clarified and Joel nodded in understanding.

"Anything you need." He replied as he leaned down to kiss you again.

He watched as you dosed off again. Placing his hand on your arm and giving it a few affectionate strokes with his thumb before standing and making his way to the kitchen.

Ant's number was stuck above your phone so Joel dialled it and waited for the man to answer, his stomach in knots. He didn't want to do this but he knew he needed to for you. He would tear himself apart if it made you feel even the slightest bit better at this moment in time.

"Hello?" Ant's familiar Texan drawl floated into his ear.

"Ant it's uh... It's Joel." He replied, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Hi man, what's up?" He asked, saying your name followed by "Is she okay?"

"No... she's uh... No, she's not." Joel confessed as he rested his brow against the wall beside the phone.

"What happened?" Ant's tone was definitely panicked and Joel felt sick at what he had to say next. What he had to tell this man who until this morning, he kinda hated.

"We went to the scan this morning and... Shit I'm so sorry to tell you this man but there was no heartbeat." Joel choked on those last few words.

"What?"

"Doc said the baby stopped developing." Joel explained, his voice now shaking as he told this man about how his baby was gone "They had to give her a pill to expel it so she's bleeding a lot right now."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"She'll be fine." Joel confirmed, hoping to put the man's mind at ease a little "Apparently it's common before 12 weeks." he didn't know if that brought Ant any comfort. It certainly hadn't brought you any.

"So I'm not going to be a dad?" Joel knew it was rhetorical.

"I'm so sorry man." He hoped his sincerity came across, but he was. His heart was breaking for them both.

"So am I." Ant replied, sniffing wetly before saying "Thanks for letting me know man..."

"Of course."

"Take care of her."

"Always."

Ant hung up after that. Placing the phone on its cradle he crept into the lounge and noted that you had fallen asleep again. Your cheeks and nose were raw from crying and your hair a mess as you'd tore at it earlier. All the emotions you'd not had a chance to feel coming down crashing all at once.

He wasn't sure how things were going to be. Whether you would want him or Sarah around after this. His baby would serve as a reminder of what you had lost. He wouldn't blame you if you pushed him away.

But he wasn't going to let you grieve alone.

You were in this together no matter what the outcome. He was going to get you out the other side no matter what the cost.

Next

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[thetriumphantpanda]

where you want your gift, girl? | Joel Miller

Summary | It’s your birthday and Joel, knowing it’s not your favourite celebration, is keen to show you that it‘s not always going to be a bad day, not if he can help it.

Warnings | birthdays, allusions to strained parental relationships, food & alcohol consumption, smoking of (1) cigarette, no/pre-outbreak AU, gift giving, explicit smut, rough sex, choking/breath play, brief spit play, oral sex (F Receiving), safe unprotected sex, dirty talk, creampie, cumplay, literally just filth tbh, no use of y/n.

Word Count | 4.2K

Authors Note | Honestly? It’s my birthday today and all I want is for Joel Miller to fucking rail me to celebrate - we can’t have everything we want I suppose, so we’ll have to deal with writing our fantasies instead! Happy Birthday to me - Enjoy!

Masterlist | Ko-Fi

You’d never really enjoyed birthdays. Other people’s, sure. The opportunity to treat your friends and make other people happy was something you’d always loved, but when it was you as the centre of attention, you almost hated it. The way people would train their eyes on you as you opened their gifts, the anxiety that you felt not knowing what it would be and whether you’d have to pretend it was the best thing in the world when you could think of a million things you needed above what they’d given you. It always made you feel ungrateful. Birthdays aren’t as exciting as you get older either, just another reminder of how far behind the rest of your friends you are, how little you seemed to have accomplished next to them in the same amount of years. 

It was no different this year, not really. Your mother had phoned you before you’d gone to work, asked if you received the card she’d sent in the post that had the customary $100 stuffed into it, before chiding you for not doing as you said you would last time you spoke and find a new job, something more challenging, related to that degree you’d spent all her money on. You sigh and hang up the phone before she can say anything else, a mumbled sorry that you were running late but thank you for the card. 

The only saving grace for your birthday this year was the fact it was a Friday, so you didn’t have to worry about drinking too much beer and having to go to work the next morning with a hangover. To their credit, your work colleagues had been quite nice to you - they’d pooled together to get you a gift card for you to spend on whatever you’d like, and Sandra from accounts had made you a birthday cake – red velvet because it was your favourite. Once everyone had eaten a slice, she put a Tupperware on your desk with two more generous slices in it, winking at you before walking away. 

“For your handsome boyfriend.” She’d said, giggling as she walked away. 

There was another saving grace for your birthday, you supposed. Joel Miller. Who had burst into your life in a whirlwind eight months ago when his beautiful daughter had spilled her hot chocolate all over your crisp new shirt in her hurry to get to the table so she could drink it. He’d been the most apologetic you ever thought you’d seen a man, helping you to wipe the worst of it off with napkins whilst Sarah profusely apologised next to you. You’d put a comforting hand on her shoulder, told her it was okay, and that you understood entirely, you’d have been as excited as her to drink hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows. Joel had insisted on paying for your dry cleaning, something you’re pretty sure only ever happened in films, and when you’d phoned him to tell him it really had been a minimal amount, he’d asked to take you to dinner instead, and the rest really was history. 

He’s phoning you now, his name popping up on the front screen of your phone, you smile as you answer it. 

“Hello, handsome.” You greet. 

“Good afternoon,” His southern drawl hits your ears, “Happy birthday, my darlin’ girl.” 

God, he makes you so happy, “Thank you, cowboy.” 

“You want me to pick you up and take you for dinner?” He asks, “Tommy is gonna look after Sarah tonight, so I’m all yours, whatever you wanna do.” 

You think for a second, sure, dinner out is a nice idea, but it’s been a long week, and you think what you want most is to be at home with him, “You think you could grill me a steak and let me drink beer on your couch instead?” You ask, slightly embarrassed that this is all you want for your birthday. 

“If that’s what you want, darlin’, then I’ll grill you the best steak of your life,” He chuckles, and then you can hear him cover the phone and speak to Sarah, who must be just back from school, “Sarah wants to speak to you real quick.” 

He passes the phone and it’s Sarah’s sweet voice that greets you next, “Happy birthday!” 

“Thank you, honey,” You smile, “You looking forward to some time with your Uncle Tommy?” 

“He’s gonna take me to the movies,” You can hear the grin on her face, “I already heard dad telling him not to feed me too much candy, but he never listens,” You chuckle, “I got you a present,” She speaks again, “I gave it to dad so you can open it later.” 

“Ahhh you sweet girl,” You coo, “I’m sure I’ll love it,” You reassure, “And I’ll be there tomorrow so I can thank you in person.” 

“Alright,” She replies, “Dad wants the phone back, but have a nice birthday with him!” 

You say goodbye to her, and then Joel tells you he’ll be waiting for you when you finish to bring you home. It’s only two hours until the end of the day, but you struggle to focus on the emails you’ve got to answer – you get through as few as is acceptable before the end of the day, logging out at exactly 5:30pm, box of cake clutched in your hand, handbag slung over your shoulder as you head out. 

Joel is leaning against the side of his truck, arms crossed over his chest so his biceps are bulging in the flannel he’s wearing, he’s also got one of his ankles crossed over the over. He looks so casual but as devastatingly handsome as he always is. He slips an arm around your waist when you’re close enough, pushing his palm into your lower back to press your body to his, dipping down to press his lips to yours. He’s gentle with it, opening his mouth against yours so he can slip his tongue into your mouth, letting his tongue meld with your own, kissing you slowly, like he’s got all the time in the world. 

“Get a room, you two!” It’s Sandra from accounts. 

Joel pulls away just enough to laugh against your lips, pressing his to yours once more before pulling away properly, opening the car door for you to get in, pressing a light swat of his hand to your ass as you hoist yourself up into the truck. 

Once he’s slipped into the driver's side and settled one of his hands on your upper thigh, he starts the drive from the city out to his house. It’s a quiet drive, Joel’s humming along to whatever is playing on the radio, you’re occupied with looking out the window. This is what you love about Joel, that he’ll sit in silence, won’t feel the need to make you talk, it makes you feel comfortable, knowing that he’s there when you need him, but he’s not going to force you to speak when you don’t want to. 

He’s pulled into the drive in no time, picking up the grocery bags from the backseat. You try and peak inside to see what he’s bought; you’re hoping he’s got the ingredients to make those mashed potatoes you like, and mushrooms that he’ll cook on the grill too. 

When he opens the door, you’re almost overwhelmed by the sight that greets you. There are gold and black balloons littering the floor, with one bigger helium balloon, weighted down so it doesn’t float along the ceiling, set in the corner with big ‘happy birthday’ lettering written on it. There’s a birthday banner pinned to the wall, and a selection of wrapped gifts on the coffee table. You have a sneaking suspicion that most of this is Sarah’s doing.

You giggle a little as Joel presses himself against your back, kissing at your neck, “How much of this was Sarah?” You ask, following him through to the kitchen. 

“She blew up all those balloons before she went to bed last night, and she did all the wrapping, but the banner and the big balloon, that was all me, baby.” 

You press your lips to his cheek, smiling as he starts unloading the grocery bags. Two ribeye steaks, and just like you wanted, mushrooms to grill, and potatoes to mash. He leaves you in charge of watching the potatoes whilst he grills the rest of the food outside. Whilst it’s resting, he mashes the potatoes with enough butter to clog your arteries, but when you sit at the table, and those potatoes are in your mouth, you can’t find it in you to care - it’s your birthday after all. 

“Everythin’ alright, baby?” He asks, cutting into his steak.

“It’s perfect,” You grin, spearing a grilled mushroom onto your fork, “Better than sitting in a stuffy restaurant anyway.” 

You finish your food in relative silence. Joel insists on doing the dishes even if he did most of the cooking, before he’s leading you back to the living room. 

Joel sits you down on the couch, treading as carefully as he can through the trail of balloons to get you a fresh beer. He kneels down on the floor between you and the coffee table, taking a glug of his beer, before reaching across the table for the first gift, setting it in your lap. 

“That one is from Sarah,” He explains, “She made me promise you would open it first.” 

“Rules are rules,” You shrug with a chuckle, carefully tearing open the wrapping paper. 

When you pull the paper from the material it was wrapped in you feel overwhelmed. It’s the exact same blouse that Sarah had tipped her hot chocolate over, just in black instead of white. The shirt had been a write off from the start, the chocolate leaving a stain that even the dry cleaner couldn’t get out. 

“She saved her pocket money for months to buy this,” He murmurs, pinching the silky fabric between his fingers, “Said if it was what brought us together, she wanted you to be able to wear it.” 

You can feel tears prickling at your eyes as you fold the material up carefully, “She’s such a special girl, Joel.” You whisper, watching as Joel leans back over the table to pick up another gift. 

“This one’s from Tommy.” He murmurs, handing you the largest box on the table. 

You rip the paper off and open the box, revealing an actual cowboy hat. You laugh, because Tommy has always said in order to properly fit in, you’d need a cowboy hat. Joel reaches into the box, pulling the brown Stetson out of its box, placing it on your head. 

“Suits you, cowgirl,” He growls, leaning under the brim of the hat to kiss you, nibbling your bottom lip as he pulls away, “Keep it on.” He demands when you go to take it off. 

“He didn’t need to get me a gift,” You mutter as Joel moves the two final gifts towards you, “And it’s a proper Stetson, this must have cost a fortune.” 

“Not that it matters, because everyone in this household thinks the world of you, but he thrifted it, mainly because you’ve rubbed off on him and he thinks getting a pair of Levi’s for half price because someone doesn’t want them anymore is the best thing since sliced bread.” 

You tilt the hat on your head a little so you can see under the brim, as he hands you an envelope this time, “These are from me.” 

You open the envelope and pull out a postcard with a from New Orleans. You turn the card over, Joel’s handwriting scrawled on the back. 

“Pack a bag baby, and let me take you away.” 

“Are you for real?!” You exclaim, “You’re going to take me to New Orleans?!” 

“Course I am, darlin’ girl,” He grins, “I know you’ve always wanted to go, and we’ve never been away together.” 

“Are you even real?” You ask, wiping your tears away, because you’re overwhelmed, no-one has ever been so thoughtful. 

“Last time I checked I was,” He chuckles, taking the postcard from your hands, replacing it with the last gift, a small box, “Go on, last one.” 

You take it from his hand, tearing the paper off it to reveal a small box. You open it, and sat inside is a silver necklace, a silver hoop, entwined with a smaller hoop. You’d recognise this anywhere. You’d spotted it in the window of the jewellery shop downtown. You’d spend so long looking at it in the window before deciding you couldn’t afford it, yet here it is, in your hands. 

“Joel,” You breathe, running your fingers over the delicate silver, “This is too much.” 

He presses a single finger to your lips to shut you up, holding his hand out for the box, taking the necklace out as he pushes himself up onto the couch, putting the delicate chain across your neck, “Do you like it?” He asks from behind you, mouth right at your ear, breath hot on your skin.

You turn around, wrapping your arms around his neck, feeling your hat fall off your head as he returns the embrace, “I love it Joel,” You murmur into the skin of his neck, “I love you.”

“I love you too, darlin’ girl.” 

You spend the rest of the evening curled up on the couch together. You eat the slices of cake that Sandra had sent you home with, drink more beer, Joel even sits with his guitar outside, playing some of your favourite songs whilst you smoke a cigarette. When the sun has fully set and you’ve let out a particularly loud yawn, Joel closes up the house, takes hold of your hand, and takes you to bed. 

You’re led against the sheets, getting yourself comfortable, when Joel comes back from the bathroom, leaning against the door with his thumb resting on his belt. He’s lookin at you with those deep, coffee-coloured orbs as you turn onto your side, propping your head up on your palm to look at him. 

“How do you want it, baby?” He smirks, taking slow steps towards the bed. 

You take your bottom lip between your teeth, because that is a very good question. Do you want him to be soft and slow like he had been that first time? So concerned he was going to hurt you with his size and strength that he refused to go any harder or faster than was strictly necessary? Or the time he made love to you after you’d looked after Sarah when he had to work late. When he’d walked into his house and found you painting her nails for her, watching a film that he’d never had sat through, his heart bursting with so much love that he had to push it all into you, whispering promises into your ear as he did so. No, you think, that’s not what you want right now. 

“I want you to fuck me, cowboy,” You rasp, “Hard.” 

He’s stood at the foot of the bed now, eyes dark with lust, “Well, what the birthday girl wants,” He murmurs softly, wide, warm palm clasping around your ankle, “The birthday girl gets.” 

He tugs at your ankle, pulling you down the bed in one swoop, your legs dangling over the edge as his fingers work the button of your work trousers loose. You lift your hips up so he can drag them, and your underwear off your body, before he tugs you into a sitting position to work your blouse over your head. Your palms cup his face as you kiss him, your lips giving attention to his plush bottom lip as his hands reach behind you and work the clasp of your bra undone, dragging that off your body so you’re finally bared naked to him. 

He pulls back, trails his eyes over your naked body, before placing his hand on your chest, right between your breasts, pushing you back down onto the bed. He trails his hands down the expanse of your sides, coming to the meat of your thighs as he settles his face between them. Normally this is where he’d tease you, use that mouth to trail soft kisses up and down the inside of your thighs, stopping to nip at the soft skin every once in a while, but he surprises you tonight. 

Joel uses the flat of his tongue to lick a single stripe up the seam of your pussy. Then, he takes his hands, puts them on the backs of your thighs to push your legs back towards you, spreading them open further, baring the entirety of your spread, aching cunt to his face, before that tongue of his is diving into you, licking the slick that has been slowly gathering there from you, groaning at your taste. He drags his tongue up to your clit, using the tip of it to lightly flick at your clit, which has a quiet whimper leaving your lips as you tangle your fingers in his soft curls to keep his head anchored right where it is. 

You’ve never really known a man quite as enthusiastic about eating your pussy as Joel Miller. The way he groans into your cunt as he laps at you, the way his fingers dig bruises into your skin as he holds your legs open for him, it all adds to the way he has your teetering on the edge of your first orgasm of the night in minutes. You’re bucking your hips into his face, chasing that burst of pleasure you know is so close to you. 

You can hear the obscene sounds from him, the way he sucks your clit into his mouth, rolls his tongue over it before letting it go with a pop, or the way he literally slurps the slick from your entrance. It’s when he slips two of his fingers inside your slick cunt that you’re really done for – fingers stretching you open, a poor substitute for what’s to come, but it’s good none-the-less. 

All of a sudden, that fiery burst of pleasure is setting your skin alight. Your body is arching off the bed, pushing your cunt further into Joel’s face as he sucks your clit through your orgasm. You can feel yourself clenching around his fingers as you let out as high-pitched shriek of his name as your body wracks with pleasurable aftershocks. You lie there, warm and pliant as Joel stands once he’s worked you through your orgasm. He takes off his shirt, and you marvel at that body, the one you get to enjoy, broad and strong for his work, but soft around the middle, just like you love. He’s looking you directly in the eye as he undoes the button on his jeans, belt from earlier seemingly lost in the bathroom before. You’re smirking as he drags his jeans and boxers down his legs, stepping out of them, stood before you in all his God damn glory. 

He is, quite possibly, the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. Especially when he’s got his cock gripped in his fist, pumping himself as you spread your legs for him, pushing yourself up the bed so he can settle between your thighs. 

You can feel the throbbing length of him slipping between your soaked folds as he finds a position, he’s comfortable with. You’re the one that reaches down between you and lines his cock up with your aching core, but it’s all Joel when he thrusts himself inside you, right to the hilt, in one go. He’s leaning forward, head rested in the crook of your neck, your name hissed out into your ear as he adjusts to the tight clench of your cunt. Your nails are already digging into the meat of his biceps when he drags himself out of you, before slamming back in. 

He revels in the way his rough thrusts make your tits bounce, dipping his head to take one of your nipples into his mouth, gently nipping at the puckered bud with his teeth before soothing it with the pad of his tongue. He laves the same attention to the other, never once letting up the pace of his hips. 

“This what you wanted, darlin’ girl?” He chokes out, looking down at you writhing in pleasure beneath him. 

“More.” You gasp, hand reaching to grab at his wrist which is planted by the side of your head, propping him up. 

He puts most of his weight on his other hand, letting you drag his other palm to the delicate column of your throat, where the sheer size of his hand covers it in its entirety. He rests it there for a moment, continuing to pound his cock into your pussy, but then he’s adding pressure to the side of your throat, giving you that delicious dizzy feeling to your brain, before he’s releasing the pressure. You’re grinning up at him, moaning his name as his hips continue to slam into your own. 

“Like that, don’t ya?” He asks, “God you look so fuckin’ good with my hand around your throat, pretty girl.” 

“Always fuck me so good, Joel,” You cry out when he shifts his position slightly, cock brushing that sweet spot inside you, “Do it again.”

So he does, he squeezes his fingers around your throat again, your mouth dropping open as a crazed giggle leaves your mouth. You wish you could step outside your body right now and watch, watch what the two of you look like – his hand around your throat, the way he’s pounding into you so hard you’re sure you’ll be sore in the morning. 

You’re both breathing heavily as he trails the hand that was around your throat to grip at your jaw. He squishes your cheeks together, pursing your lips as his mouth claims your own, growling into you as his tongue licks at yours. He’s so fucking overwhelming right now, thick cock splitting you in two, strong body laid across your own, mouth on yours, and it’s still not enough. You want to peel his skin off and climb inside him, let him consume you whole. 

Joel pulls back, hand still on your jaw. 

“You my pretty girl, huh?” He asks, and you can only nod, his hand stopping you from talking, “Belong to me, right?” 

His hand goes back down to grip your throat, gently though, with no pressure, so you can talk to him now. 

“All yours Joel,” You purr at him, “Only ever gonna be yours.” 

“Open your mouth,” He demands, using his hand to gently shake you, so you do, “Stick your tongue out.” 

You do just that, staring straight into his eyes as he leans down, ever so slightly, and spits into your mouth. It’s warm, wet and utterly filthy, and you think it’s the entire reason that you can feel your slick dripping down onto his sheets now. Joel doesn’t even give you the time to swallow, chasing the saliva he’s just put into your mouth with his tongue, giving you the sloppiest kiss you’ve ever received. 

“Fuck,” He spits out, pulling back from your mouth, “Ain’t gonna last much longer, darlin’ girl,” He confesses, those rough thrusts slowing ever so slightly, “Put your hand on your clit for me, let’s do this one together.”

Your hand slinks between your bodies, seeking out that sensitive bud, still reeling from the orgasm he pulled from you, it doesn’t take much work from your fingers to have you teetering on the edge, but you want to do this together, you have to hold on for him. 

“Where d’ya want it?” Joel chokes out as your pussy flutters around him. 

“Inside,” Comes your begging plea to him, “Come inside me, Joel.” 

Your work your fingers across your clit a few more times before you’re coming around his cock, the nails of your free hand digging half-moon shapes into the meat of his shoulder. He manages three, maybe four more thrusts before he’s stilling inside of you, grunting out your name as the white-hot spurt of his spend fills your aching cunt. He fills you up so perfectly, holding himself there for a moment before he lets out a slightly pained sound, pulling himself out of your pussy. 

He sits back on his knees, watching the white trickle of him cum seep from your spent hole. He takes one of his fingers, scooping his cum on it before bringing it to your lips, where you suck it into your mouth, running your tongue over it to catch every bit of the taste of him. He falls forward, forehead pressed to your own, kissing your lips softly, before he moves to lie on his side of the bed. 

You push yourself up into a sitting position, leaning over to kiss him softly, mumbling that you’ll be back in a minute as you pad to the bathroom to clean up. When you come back to his room, he’s already under the covers, your side pushed back and waiting for you, so you clamber in, seeking out his torso under the covers so you can wrap your arm around him. He pulls you flush to his body, slick and warm from sweat, but you don’t care. 

His arm is draped across your shoulder, his fingers tracing slow and soft across your skin, as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head.

“Happy birthday, darlin’ girl.” He whispers to you as he turns out the light. 

“Best birthday ever,” You mumble softly against his chest as you let your heavy eyes closed, “All because of you, cowboy.” 

[nuninho2000]

what's your opinion to all weasleys?

Well , let's start with the parents:

Arthur: I like Arthur, i really enjoy his fascination with everything related to Muggles, it reminds of those kinds of scientists, explorers and collectors on whatever are things found in Nature and then takes home with observing and studying , he's a great role model father that is caring, understanding but can be put his kids in their place when enough is enough and his relationship with Harry and Hermione and the way he takes care and watches over then is really underrated

Molly : I like Molly too , she's the definition of what a realistic mother looks like , she's not a perfect mother but always is trying her best and what's her kids to shine and have success especially in school, sure she can be a nag sometimes with her overprotective side but she is the best mother than you could ask for , in some ways she reminds my own mom and the way she welcomed Harry and show he's part of the family is good

Bill : I like him , he's a very cool old brother that has a cool job and is that kind of brother that everyone loves and the brothers friends look up to , he's a good looking and stylish guy that is patient and helpful, i love his relationship with Fleur and i think are great pair

Charlie: he's the Weasley sibling that we have less showing but just like Bill we can see that people love him especially his teammates from Quidditch like Oliver Wood , his work with dragons always fascinated me because i love dragons and the thought of him working on dangerous job is really badass

Percy; unpopular opinion but i like Percy's character arc and appreciate his development from a snobbish person and is a student role model who is ambitious and wants more , his ambition got the better of him and act really bad during book 5 the way he spoke to his father and how he was ashamed of him , ignoring his mother Christmas present was out of line, to be honest I don't blame him that much for not trusting Harry because despite knowing him they don't get along but the main reason why Percy sided with the ministry was because of the promotion and his ambition got the better of him and when was finally reveal that Voldemort returned and Harry was right all along his pride didn't make go apologise to his family and he had it coming when his siblings ignored him and twins and Ginny throwing food at him but i was really he came around in the end and finally apologised, made amends and fought in the battle of Hogwarts side his family

Fred Weasley : smart person and was a talented wizard that was a great duo with twin brother George, his death was really sad not only because he died next with Percy when everything was alright between them and the fact he died with a smile is heartbreaking and fitting his character

George Weasley: I like him , i think in terms of personality i like him more than his brother Fred , he's a great mastermind and was the best Quidditch player among the twins, i love how protective he is with Harry especially in book 2 when Harry said he would do anything to get the golden snitch and even got mad at Oliver for it , along with Ginny consolidated Ron when he thought his rat was killed

I find it so relatable he gave his pass away brother's name to his son because my name is a tribute to my dead uncle that i didn't know but from the people that knew him said he was a wonderful person

Ron : he's my favourite Weasley character and one of the characters i like the most in the series and he's in my top 10 HP favourite characters, he's brave , funny, smart, passionate, loyal, lovely person and a character that i have a ton of respect for .

He's the best friend that any person likes to have and the best friend and company that someone like Harry and Hermione should have , without him the Golden Trio wouldn't be complete and we readers couldn't have a better person to show us how the Wizarding World works .

Ginny: the lovely girl who conquered the heart of our beloved protagonist and his soulmate.

What can i say about Ginny? The shy girl that wasn't exactly shy had a good growth throughout the series and showed how brave and reckless she could be by fighting against the possession of a memory of Tom Riddle with 11 years old and hang on until it became inevitable, fought against her own trauma, had many friends, was popular, become a Quidditch player which was dream considering that use to practice without her brothers consenting and notice but the peak was when her wishes and dreams became real when the love of her life and soulmate kiss her in front of many people and started dating, unfortunately and was necessary she understood when Harry broke up with her not because he stopped loving her but to protect her .

With Harry, Ron and Hermione haunting for Horcruxs she alongside Neville and Luna restarted the DA and fought against the Carrow and tried to steal the sword of Gryffindor and fought in the battle of Hogwarts .

After the battle she and Harry rapidly started dating again, got married and had 3 wonderful kids and she realised her dream of becoming a Quidditch player for 4 years and then started to write about sports after retirement.

I love the Weasley family, what's not like, right?

[cutielights]

ITS HERE!!!

I think exactly one person voted ‘No’ on The Poll :p <3

100+ followers rottmnt fluff alphabet!

Leo

Activities- what do they like to do with their s/o?

He loves going swimming with you, beach, pool, waterparks? They’re all game in his eyes

Beauty- what physical attributes do they like the most about their s/o?

He loves your hands, cuddling and absentmindedly playing with your fingers

Comfort- how would they comfort their s/o through a bad day or a panic attack?

“Hey, hey I’m here, breathe, it’s me, Leo, remember?” He’s practiced in these things. Guides you through the 5 4 3 2 1 method

Dreams- how do they picture their future with their s/o?

When it crosses his mind, he pictures it with kids, training them to be ninjas. But that’s in the future, he’s in the now

Equal- are they the dominant one in the relationship or are they passive?

You guys take turns, kind of looks like a competition to the outside eye

Fight- how easy is it for them to forgive? How do they fight?

The thing he does most is sulk for a few days, silent treatment. Depending on who he thinks was truly in the wrong, he’ll confront you or apologise himself.

Gratitude- how grateful are they? Are they aware of how much their s/o does?

He is so insecure about not being enough for you. He is so grateful you put up with him, please comfort him, he needs to know you actually love him and don’t hate him, super aware of everything you do

Honesty- do they keep secrets from their s/o, or do they share everything?

The secrets he keeps are more of, ptsd related things. Doesn’t want you to worry about his nightmares. Can be coaxed into telling the truth, usually with cuddles after said nightmares

Inspiration- has their s/o inspired them?

Inspired? He’s definitely more open with his feelings now, healthier coping mechanisms

Jealousy- how jealous are they?

Possessive Jealousy? No. Insecure Jealousy. Plays it cool on the outside, but nervousness runs rampant in this boy’s skull, what if you think that guy is better than him? What about that yokai? They’re conveniently attractive and oh god they’re making jokes and you’re laughing?! Oh no oh no oh no

Kiss- are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

It was awkward to say the least. You both knew you wanted to kiss, but didn’t know how to express it. Kinda went like; “So-“ “Are we gonna-“ “y’know…”. after some failed attempts, you finally kissed

Love confession- how did they confess?

He confessed in the middle of a Jupiter Jim marathon. It was accidental as he thought you were asleep, after panicking and saying he didn’t mean it, you returned his feelings

Marriage- what are their thoughts on marriage?

Scares him half to death. Not that he doesn’t want to, it’s just- he feels he’s not worthy of marriage

Nicknames- what do they call their s/o?

Baby, Honey, Love of my life

On cloud nine- what are they like when on cloud nine? Is it obvious?

Zones out just staring at you with simultaneously the most dorky, smug, and lovestruck smile on his face

PDA- their thoughts on PDA, do they practice it?

110% he gives you kisses in public, he is holding your hand, either piggybacking you or the other way around, it’s game

Quirk- a random ability they have that is beneficial towards the relationship

His ability to clock you feeling down the moment it happens is wonderful if not otherworldly

Romance- how romantic are they, is it cliche or creative?

He can be cliche, nights at Hueso’s, but also mixes it up a bit with nighttime strolls or Hidden City shenanigans

Support- are they helping their s/o achieve their goals, do they believe in them?

Of course he’s helping! Maybe a tad too enthusiastic at times, but he wants the best for you

Thrill- do they feel the need for new things? Or prefer a relationship with routine?

He is doing new things all the time with you, but only new things you want to to ofc, may give you a nudge outside the comfort zone every now and again, just to help things along

Understanding- are they empathetic?

He might not seem it at first glance, but he is empathetic. Helps you through nightmares, injuries and anything that may ail you

Value- how important is the relationship to them?

Holds it above his own mental sanity

Wildcard- random fluff hc!

He is an arms guy, jumping into your arms or picking you up and spinning you around in his

Xoxo- are they affectionate, do they like to kiss and cuddle?

He is kissing your cheek to get attention, on the hand when being overly dramatic or romantic, on the forehead when cuddling, so very affectionate

Yearning- how do they cope when they miss their partner?

Quite sulky, whiny about it the whole time, saying things would be so much better if you were simply in each other’s presence. As for coping? He cuddles a pillow at night until you return

Zeal- are they willing to go great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?

He is ready to do anything. Stay in the prison dimension? If it means you’re safe. Steal a cake? If it makes you happy

Raph

Activities- what do they like to do with their s/o?

He loves working out with you. Buuut if that’s not your speed, he won’t complain about getting pizza

Beauty- what physical attributes do they like the most about their s/o?

He can’t pick a favourite! Perhaps your height is his favourite, he likes using you as a teddy

Comfort- how would they comfort their s/o through a bad day or a panic attack?

He’s bringing you ice cream and a shoulder to cry on after a bad day, maybe even some flowers too

Dreams- how do they picture their future with their s/o?

He gets very anxious about the future, especially the future of your relationship. Sits down to have a very serious talk about it, would you want to get married? Would you want kids? Can we afford kids? How do we acquire children? Takes it seriously and doesn’t marry himself to one particular future

Equal- are they the dominant one in the relationship or are they passive?

You both stand on the same level of equality

Fight- how easy is it for them to forgive? How do they fight?

Snaps if he’s particularly stressed about something. Apologises after taking a few deep breaths. It’s extremely rare for an argument to last more than a day

Gratitude- how grateful are they? Are they aware of how much their s/o does?

Oh my man thinks you’re way out of his league, will forever be eternally grateful for you and everything you do

Honesty- do they keep secrets from their s/o, or do they share everything?

If he has secrets, he wouldn’t be able to keep them for long, they eat away at him. Mind Raph helps him tell the truth before it does some damage to the relationship

Inspiration- has their s/o inspired them?

You’ve definitely inspired him to take more time to himself, and just relax, even just for a bit

Jealousy- how jealous are they?

He refuses to call it jealousy, he just refuses to. He knows you would never do anything with that person, that conveniently attractive person, with a great personality, and you’re laughing at their jokes?! “Haha, yeah we just need to go… somewhere else.”

Kiss- are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He’s getting better with practice. The first was at a drive in theatre, neither of you were really paying attention to the movie, something about a cafe owner going broke, he blurted out the question so quickly you didn’t even hear the sentence. You had to ask him to repeat himself twice before he had calmed down

Love confession- how did they confess?

With flowers in your favourite colour, he stood on your fire escape and poured his heart out in front of you

Marriage- what are their thoughts on marriage?

It crosses his mind often, he’s very concerned about the future, dislikes that he can’t just know what will happen. As for marriage itself? He’ll ask someday, but not now

Nicknames- what do they call their s/o?

Shortstack

On cloud nine- what are they like when on cloud nine? Is it obvious?

He’s obvious. But in denial with it, even when called out

PDA- their thoughts on PDA, do they practice it?

He’s not one for PDA, preferring cuddles in private

Quirk- a random ability they have that is beneficial towards the relationship

His pure strength and size is good for many things, including amazing cuddles

Romance- how romantic are they, is it cliche or creative?

Cliche, he knows it’s cliche, but it’s cliche for a reason right? Flowers, candles, the whole shebang. People wouldn’t keep doing it if it didn’t work!

Support- are they helping their s/o achieve their goals, do they believe in them?

He would! Would help you set realistic goals and work up to the ultimate one

Thrill- do they feel the need for new things? Or prefer a relationship with routine?

He likes his routine, throwing in a surprise here and there

Understanding- are they empathetic?

Yes! Ofc, he is. Doesn’t want you to suffer, cuddles count as therapy right?

Value- how important is the relationship to them?

Important, he is making sure you are safe 100% of the time, he knows what a pain villains are for stealing s/o’s

Wildcard- random fluff hc!

Piggybacks! Or carrying you bridal style, just imagine all the things you can see up there

Xoxo- are they affectionate, do they like to kiss and cuddle?

Yes and yes, not so much as PDA, but as general cuddles for movie nights

Yearning- how do they cope when they miss their partner?

Won’t try to outwardly express this to anyone, shows up outside your window, if that’s not possible due to some unspoken reason then he probably just messages you, staying up later than he usually does

Zeal- are they willing to go great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?

Man is ready to jump off a building for you

Donnie

Activities- what do they like to do with their s/o?

Going to conventions, dancing, pure enjoyment of the other’s company

Beauty- what physical attributes do they like the most about their s/o?

Any facial markings or scars, stretch marks included

Comfort- how would they comfort their s/o through a bad day or a panic attack?

Asks before doing absolutely anything. “Can I come in?” “I’m going to come closer, is that okay?” “May I touch you?” Does his best to calm you down, if not, then he’s finding the root of the issue and eliminating it

Dreams- how do they picture their future with their s/o?

He pictures his future quite often, the vision changes from time to time, but your always next to him in it

Equal- are they the dominant one in the relationship or are they passive?

Says he’s the dominant one, but really likes when you’re the dominant

Fight- how easy is it for them to forgive? How do they fight?

Fights actually don’t happen that much with the two of you. If you do fight, he only lets it last a few minutes before cutting contact and giving you the silent treatment. Forgiveness is given in a few days and you guys are on good terms again

Gratitude- how grateful are they? Are they aware of how much their s/o does?

He can forget sometimes, but he spends a day without you and takes it all back, realising how much he relies on you

Honesty- do they keep secrets from their s/o, or do they share everything?

According to the internet, honesty is key to a healthy relationship, so he does his best although honesty is quite difficult sometimes, in general

Inspiration- has their s/o inspired them?

Inspired in the way that you give him new insights he himself hadn’t considered fully yet, set on one path, helping him see the bigger picture on things

Jealousy- how jealous are they?

It’s through the roof, although, he’s in denial about it

Kiss- are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

It didn’t happen until at least six months, awkward at first, but followed your lead after some reassurance

Love confession- how did they confess?

He had a whole plan on how to do it, like a months long plan. You got there first, catching him off guard

Marriage- what are their thoughts on marriage?

He’d get married if you really wanted to but, he doesn’t see the point exactly. That doesn’t stop him from being emotional on the day however

Nicknames- what do they call their s/o?

Darling, Significant Other

On cloud nine- what are they like when on cloud nine? Is it obvious?

Gets extremely defensive about the fact that he’s definitely not on cloud nine that he forgets to act like it

PDA- their thoughts on PDA, do they practice it?

Absolutely not, especially not in the first few months. Hand holding is acceptable, and the occasional hug

Quirk- a random ability they have that is beneficial towards the relationship

The ability to force himself to stay up all night, caffeine helps of course. You guys can just talk in the dead of night, as we all know, that is the best bonding time

Romance- how romantic are they, is it cliche or creative?

Gets creative with it, but isn’t shying away from flowers. Better yet! Mechanical flowers that bloom in the day! They never die!

Support- are they helping their s/o achieve their goals, do they believe in them?

Much like his red older brother, helps you set realistic mini-goals, and then helps achieve them. Not too hands on however, wants you to accomplish it yourself

Thrill- do they feel the need for new things? Or prefer a relationship with routine?

Routine. Routine. Routine. Cannot function without it. If there’s something new he needs to know about it at least a week in advance and that’s being lenient

Understanding- are they empathetic?

He is empathetic, just not the best at expressing it

Value- how important is the relationship to them?

This is so important to him, you would not believe

Wildcard- random fluff hc!

He pulls you onto his lap when working on something, refusing to let you leave

Xoxo- are they affectionate, do they like to kiss and cuddle?

After the initial phase he most definitely is, but only in private will you get kisses

Yearning- how do they cope when they miss their partner?

Calls and messages 24/7, if that’s unavailable? Workaholic

Zeal- are they willing to go great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?

He’s ready to destroy his inventions for you. Yes- he has backups, but that’s beside the point!

Mikey

Activities- what do they like to do with their s/o?

Let’s go, come on we’re going to paint New York with graffiti. Loves cooking with you and showing you techniques he learned recently

Beauty- what physical attributes do they like the most about their s/o?

Loves your hair/fur/whatever, running hands through it

Comfort- how would they comfort their s/o through a bad day or a panic attack?

Comfort foods, but never overboard with it, too much is unhealthy. Movie nights and gentle words

Dreams- how do they picture their future with their s/o?

He honestly doesn’t think about it all that much, preferring the moment. But he does picture his future with you in it

Equal- are they the dominant one in the relationship or are they passive?

Passive, prefers standing on equal ground with people

Fight- how easy is it for them to forgive? How do they fight?

Dr feelings isn’t letting fights go unresolved, preferring to talk it out and get to the bottom of the issue

Gratitude- how grateful are they? Are they aware of how much their s/o does?

He’s super grateful! Does occasionally let it slip, but just tell him and he’ll remember himself

Honesty- do they keep secrets from their s/o, or do they share everything?

He wouldn’t keep secrets on purpose, likely the only reason he hasn’t told you anything is because it hadn’t come up in conversations yet, or he’s self conscious about it, not wanting to be a bother, but never out of malice

Inspiration- has their s/o inspired them?

Inspiration in the sense that you’re his favourite muse? Yes! Inspiration in the sense that he’s changed? Probably not

Jealousy- how jealous are they?

He tries his best to not get jealous, but sometimes he just can’t hold it back, Dr delicate touch tells the person you’re taken

Kiss- are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Rooftop rambles at night are a must in this relationship, it happened under the moonlight, you could taste the pizza on his breath

Love confession- how did they confess?

He tried making it romantic, he really did, but one disaster after another passed through. He was about to just leave and take it as a sign you guys weren’t supposed to be together until you confessed instead

Marriage- what are their thoughts on marriage?

He’s up for it if you’re up for it, but only after a while, when you’re both adults, just to be safe

Nicknames- what do they call their s/o?

Baby, Honey, CutiePie, Angel, Wonder

On cloud nine- what are they like when on cloud nine? Is it obvious?

He physically has heart eyes, most obvious in his cloud-nine shenanigans, zoned out whilst staring at you once and added way too much baking soda it was a disaster

PDA- their thoughts on PDA, do they practice it?

PDA all day, as long as you’re okay with it ofc, mostly just hand holding and an arm around your shoulder

Quirk- a random ability they have that is beneficial towards the relationship

His ability to completely clock whenever you’re down avoids most complications

Romance- how romantic are they, is it cliche or creative?

He gets creative with it, thinks the traditional things are nice, sure, but overdone

Support- are they helping their s/o achieve their goals, do they believe in them?

Oh absolutely he believes in you! Supports your goals and helps out with what you may need

Thrill- do they feel the need for new things? Or prefer a relationship with routine?

New things. Hidden city dates all the time because it’s the most unpredictable, carefully avoiding the law enforcements.

Understanding- are they empathetic?

Absolutely! Have you met this boy? Sureee Dr Delicate touch isn’t empathetic, but that’s not a problem with you guys, he hasn’t met you yet.

Value- how important is the relationship to them?

You’re pinned in his contacts, he adores baking or cooking anything for you, overall one of the most important people in his life

Wildcard- random fluff hc!

Has one of those jars that have the lolly sticks with things to do with a s/o written on them, you made it together! Orange stick for an indoor date, green for outdoor, white for something that can be done anywhere

Xoxo- are they affectionate, do they like to kiss and cuddle?

Affection levels at 110% he’s giving you all the attention you deserve and could ever want

Yearning- how do they cope when they miss their partner?

He spams messages for a while, but if you’re not responding for some reason, listens to music in order to zone out. Takes his mind off of things ya know?

Zeal- are they willing to go great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?

He would go to the greatest lengths. This man would have taken Leo’s place in the prison dimension if it meant you were safe and alive

[pollen-blogs]

Rants from a tired writer: Tragic Backstories

Dear writers and readers/viewers (depends on medium), for the love of everything please PLEASE understand how to use tragic backstories for antagonists properly!!!

An antagonist's traumatic past is an EXPLANATION for their poor behaviour, not an excuse!! That kind of backstory is here to show that it's rare for someone to do bad things just for the sake of being bad; a lot of the time, antagonists have a reason for behaving antagonistically (or you could have someone like Emperor Belos who has a reason for behaving antagonistically but also does bad things just for the sake of being bad, which is awesome).

That's why sometimes it rubs me the wrong way when fans of a certain piece of media dislike an antagonist's redemption arc just because they felt like the show was throwing them a pity party. Of course, there are times where writers are guilty of doing that, and I'm criticizing them here as well. The antagonist's traumatic past is here to humanise them, to remind the audience and characters that in spite of it all, they're still a person. In cases where the antagonist is redeemable, this can make the audience and characters sympathise with or even relate to them.

A lot of people hate her but I don't care, I'm going to use her as an example anyway: Akito Sohma is one of those redeemable villains that gets humanised through her and Tohru's shared experience of being ostracised and abandoned.

No, you're not supposed to feel bad for Akito because she cried and said she felt lonely. You're supposed to feel bad for Akito because Tohru is the first person to treat her as a human being and not as a God, as well as validating her fear of being left behind by saying that she feels the same way. + You're supposed to feel bad for Akito because she is denied the right to be herself in every single way possible, including, but not limited to, her gender.

Akito getting redeemed does not take away all the pain and trauma that still affects the members of the zodiac that she hurt. In fact, not all of them forgive Akito, and that is okay. Akito herself states that she would have been fine not being forgiven at all, she just wanted to better herself. Her apology wasn't even done through words, but actions; she could not bring herself to say "I'm sorry" to all of her family because she didn't want them to think she was apologising just to make herself feel better or to gain their forgiveness. Anyway, I love Akito so much and I will write love letters to her in my analyses every time I have the opportunity to do so, you're welcome.

However, there are times where writers really do mess up and just want you to feel bad for their poor little moral scapegoat. I have not made a She-Ra critical post in so long, but who else fits the bill more than Catra? Her traumatic past does explain her resentment and violent tendencies towards Adora, but the show lost me the second they tried to make it into an excuse. Not only that, but making Adora "leaving" Catra a central point of the tension in their relationship when Catra was given multiple chances to leave just made me want to bash my head into the nearest wall.

The big problem with Catra is that she does not change, nor is she held accountable for her actions for longer than one episode. The only thing that did change is that she does not physically abuse Adora anymore, but the verbal and psychological abuse does remain. And lastly, the viewers and characters are considered objectively wrong for not trusting or liking her even though they have legitimate reasons not to. Of course, I'm not saying that the characters are not allowed to forgive her, but forgiveness is earned not owed, and Catra has done nothing to earn it, and it would have been nice for at least one character like Adora, Entrapta, Scorpia or anyone to have said "I'm glad that you're trying to become a better person, but I don't have to be there to witness that. I wish you the best but I don't want you in my life anymore."

Well, I have said my peace. I might start posting more writing takes on here while still talking about my favourite shows/books by using them as examples, let's see how it goes! I love writing so much so I'm very glad to be able to express that on my socials :)

[airrec]

Dreamnoblade Cinderella AU turned sideways bullet point fic

Content warnings: referenced gaslighting, past non-consensual body modifcation by way of fairy godmother, implied one-sided Awesamdream with all that entails, hopeful ending I swear. Very much pre-relationship Dreamnoblade but they're intended to head that direction post-fic.

Turning someone from an animal into a human for fairy godmotherly magical royal ball-related purposes is, ehhh, not without consequences.

Techno can't change back.

Look, he was fine being a hedgehog, okay? Well, it's not like he really had any idea of what he was missing out on - hedgehogs aren't the most intelligent or aware of creatures out there - but he was content snuffling around and just kinda keep on keeping on his way through life.

He can't go back to that, though, so here he is. His social conversation skills are distinctly limited, and his accent just makes people think he's a foreigner who doesn't speak much of the language, but this just works out in his favour by providing him a very convenient excuse for his awkwardness.

He gets a job, with a sharp stroke of luck he feels may have had a hint of fairy godmotherly influence, at the local dye shop and one of the first things he does when he gets his first weekly pay is to dye his own hair bright pink - he has to grapple with stuff like personal identity now, and the soft brown hair the colour of his long-gone fur always catching the corners of his vision was starting to do something unpleasant inside his chest, so away it went.

A couple of months down the line, he sees Dream again.

Dream was always good to him - to all the little garden animals, along with the ones he was actually in charge of - he remembers. Gentle hands brushing down the horses and looking after the hounds in the kennels and scratching the fluffy cheeks of the kitchen cat. Diligently filling the bird feeders and carefully checking the woodpile for mice and hedgehogs like Techno himself, once winter swept in and they started to hibernate.

Dream looks miserable.

Now, Techno wasn't really in the loop with the whys of everything, because quite frankly he was grappling with a lot that night, but he knows that Dream went to some fancy party and didn't make it out when he was supposed to. In fact, he didn't leave the palace at all.

It's weird, because when Dream's companion ushers him into the tailor - directly next to the dye shop - Dream catches his eye and both of them know they recognise each other.

Another week passes before Techno sees Dream again, and this time Dream approaches him and says, "You were the coach driver, weren't you? That night?"

Techno was, so he nods. Dream questions him more, mostly just stating what happened - the fairy godmother, the animals turning into people or into other animals, the magical clothes that appeared in glints and sparks. Techno nods to every one of these. Dream just looks relieved that someone else is agreeing that this course of events is what took place.

"I didn't want this," Dream says, sounding upset, frustrated, maybe even a bit... scared. "I just wanted to go to the ball, to have a good time - dance a bit, eat some fancy food, listen to the music - is that a crime? Now King Awesam won't let me leave, and he keeps trying to tell me that I'm not from where I'm from, or that I've been there longer than I have, or - and he's got everyone else doing it, too! They're all lying to me, and I - it's been terrible, up there."

This sounds like a vast understatement. Dream looks very unwell, if not physically, even to Techno's inexperienced eyes.

"I didn't want this either," he offers, and even if it's the truth it seems like the wrong thing to say, because Dream pales and starts apologising.

As though he could have stopped a fairy, honestly! No one can do that. Techno doesn't know much but he does know that.

"Bruh, ain't your fault," he says, stabbing into the dark for something to make this conversation start going better. "You know how fairies are: everything has a price."

Everything has a price indeed, because at that moment Dream is caught up to by a group of royal guards and swept back up to the palace. Techno narrowly avoids a beating by mumbling and walking away before he can be properly questioned and - that's that, perhaps.

Except no, of course it's not, because once upon a time, back when Techno was just a young thing, huddling down for his first ever winter hibernation, Dream saved his life.

He'd been in the wood pile that had been set aside for some evening bonfire at the lord's estate, unknowing of the danger, and Dream - kind Dream, conscientious Dream, had poked in and around, checking before the event got going, and he'd plucked Techno from his nest before it could turn into his fiery tomb, saving the life of the little hedgehog long before any of this fairy business had ever happened.

So Techno owes Dream. And besides, this King Awesam sounds like a right piece of work, and Techno has lived a whole life being small, in a world where being small is practically a crime for how the small are punished for it. Dream's a different kind of small, and King Awesam a different kind of big, but in the end it's all the same, really.

There's a crow that lives in the tallest tree of the local forest, and Techno knows that this crow is sometimes a man with black crow wings instead.

Sometimes he helps out the creatures of the forest. For a price. Techno doesn't think that some blackberries are going to suffice this time, but - crows like shiny things, right?

He still has that necklace, the one from Dream's outfit that night that changed everything. He'd pulled it off his neck and left it in the carriage, where Techno had found it when he pulled away towards the palace stables, probably because of sensory issues, if Techno had to guess. He'd tried it on himself, just out of curiosity, but it had pinched too much. When the night drew on and Dream never came back and the carriage turned into a pumpkin again but Techno didn't turn back into a hedgehog - he'd taken it with him as he left, escaping the minor chaos.

He takes it with him to barter it for Dream's freedom. He can only hope that it's enough.

(It is.)

(There's a cloud covered night, and a long black rope, and a window open in a room in an isolated tower of the palace.)

(Two men go in, and three men leave.)

[mailjeevasfan]

Im the person who asked about ftm reader x wammy boys and Light, it was great so...any headcanons about those same characters finding out about their S/O's eating disorder I'm tryna get over it but your fics make me so happy -🕸️ (if that emoji is available for your anons!)

thank you !!!

TW ED! look after yourselves ily guys

dn boys x gn!reader

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dn boys finding out about s/o’s ed ❦

light

i feel like you’d kind of have to explain it to him in detail for him to understand better if that makes sense ? after he begins to understand better, he might want you to speak to a professional. he’d be very concerned about this and would want to help, but would be afraid to say the wrong thing. if you weren’t comfortable doing this though, he’d do everything he could to ease you into recovery

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l lawliet

he has troubles with his own diet, even if it’s a very different kind of thing to what you’re struggling with. my point is that he understands having not the best relationship with food. he would use this to try and relate to you on some level but would use his logic and analysis more. he’d research a lot more about it and monitor you, not in a suffocating way but in a more secret way. he’d try his best to get you back to a better diet

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mello

understands troubles with eating to a certain extent, similar to l. will try and be as comforting as possible but may be blunt at times. he’d be so worried that he’d end up snapping, but would ofc regret it. he would apologise for this and promise to help you in any way he could. just tell him what you need, whatever’s going to help you, and he will do it

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matt

i always think that in general, matt likes to avoid problems in any way. when it comes to his s/o’s problems, he’d try and use distraction as a way to help them through it at times. so at first, he’d be a little lost, unsure of how to handle this issue. he’d eventually get the hang of things after he understood your struggles more specifically, and he’d give you a lot of positive encouragement. he’d reassure you a lot around eating and try and keep your mind off of it when he knew you were having challenging and upsetting thoughts.

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near

he’d probably do a lot of research on the topic of eds and keep it specific to whatever you’re struggling with. he’d maybe have an emotionless way of dealing with things, but he’d definitely reassure you a lot and provide you with a lot of comfort, even if that isn’t what he’s used to doing.

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[mechacringekitty]

incredibly messy essay of my thoughts on darkstalker, straight from my DMs with a friend because they demanded i post it [which means it has incredibly improper grammar]

hes an awful awful person, unapolagetically, and i think there are scenes and areas where he could've been written better. or had more nuance, like his dynamic with arctic [why do they hate each other ?? theres no explanation given, really, besides the fact that they do] but people who reduce him to a monster just baffle me. he loved his mother, he loved whiteout, he tried to love clearsight even though he did it wrong. and clearsight/darkstalker is a really iffy territory, because he did love her and he thought he was loving her right but he wasnt he was kind of controlling and bad! the earrings !! the earrings that kept her from seeing the bad futures !! but he also loved her, he did. their relationship was doomed from the start but he tried. she loved him back too, thats why it didnt work. thats why it hurt so much. he loved his mother too,, the few brief interactions they got in arc 2 hurt me to my core because fuck foeslayer loved him too, even though she realises he's done bad things. and whiteout!! whiteout!! she's one of the only characters we see darkstalker actually properly caring about in a way that doesnt really hurt them somehow. i think she loved him too,, she tried to warn him, she did :( ive thought about them a lot, maybe darkstalker trying to calm whiteout down at times, or them hiding with each other while arctic and foeslayer fought. arctic and foeslayer make me really ill too but this rant is getting long enough as it is. darkstalker lost a little of his pizzazz in arc two because of how domination focused he was and the writing went more focused on making him this evil, hateable villain [imo] than a relatable and understandable villain. which is the best kind of villain. i hate the peacemaker thing i hate it i hate it and that scene in book ten makes me cry every time because he was hurt by it he was so hurt by it. he didnt need a second chance, he needed to die, he needed to reconcile with himself and accept that there was no way he would ever save any of it. something like him coming to his senses, him realising everything he's done is awful and hurtful and he's not ever going to be able to fix it, but he can at least apologise even if the icewings dont accept his apology, not all of them, they'll understand they havent been hating a monster without feelings this whole time,, and maybe some of them can start to understand him and they can start to heal and they can stop hurting each other. but he needed to die and it needed to be on his own terms and i think foeslayer shouldve gotten her peace with that and i think if i were here i wouldve chosen to die too. the world is so different from what either of them knew and i would be tired of trying to change and i would be tired of trying to fix it and i think ending that legacy right there and right then with the two of them together wouldve been good. and maybe foeslayer can tell darkstalker she loves him - maybe she never had time when he was a kid - and maybe he can tell her too and they can leave that world together with the knowledge that they tried but they dont have to try anymore.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hello! I want to make a petition for jason todd with a reader who basically has a personality and background of yui komori, that is, she is super kind, sensitive, shy and who went through a very traumatic situation related to kidnapping and abuse and who because of that she is very scared and has post traumatic stress disorder, i hope it's not so dark for you and i don't want you to write this if you don't want to.

⚠️ I don’t believe I accurately depicted PTSD in this…like at all, most of my info on it came from the NHS website on PTSD. So please take this depiction with a pinch of salt.⚠️

Jason has a body littered with scars, wether it be the ones on his body, his heart or his mind. Scars that could turn anyone away and despite knowing that he has the ability to push you away whenever he wanted, to offer you an opening to leave when things started getting serious, he never could when you held his face in your hands and looking at him with those worried eyes of yours; Looking through him and into his soul as though he was anything but a broken man.

Jason becomes soft, sweet and overbearingly domestic when he’s with you because all he wants for you in your relationship was the best treatment, for to him, you were the most precious thing to have ever walked into his life and he never wants to take advantage of that. To Jason, to take advantage of a good thing were a bastard move and those who did that sort of thing weren’t worth their salt nor worth their partners time nor love.

There were days where Jason would stop reading and instead watch what you were doing from the corner of his eye, smiling to himself as he vowed to himself to never let moments like these slip from his fingers, to never let you slip from his fingers and protect you to the best of his abilities.

Jason would be willing to do anything you wished/desired, he believes that if he were to find some interest in your hobbies, he’d find all the more things to share with you and receive in return. It’s his most favourite thing in your relationship, when you share things and in return learn even more things from the other.

Jason has always been taken aback by everything you did for him and even though you knew he could do them himself but you always insisted that you could help him as payment for everything he’s done for you in return and how you felt helpless and or useless for standing on the side lines whilst he patches himself up from his nightly vigilante activities.

He’d always tell you that it wasn’t your responsibility to clean up after him but whenever he’d come home, nursing a couple more bruises and cuts then usual, you were already out of your shared room with the first aid kit with a determined look on your face as you tell him to sit on the nearest flat surface as you disinfect his wounds and ice his bruises.

Meanwhile Jason would stare at you adoringly, only snapping out from his stupor when you tended to a particularly nasty would on his side causing him to hiss out a harsh ‘fuck.’ Causing you to drop everything in order to apologise profusely for causing him more harm and it wasn’t until then that Jason clocked how you became rigid and on the defensive within the blink of an eye; all the while with a frightened look upon your face and how you’d made yourself look small compared to him as though you were trying to show that you were of not threat to him.

Jason took this sudden moment of realisation to recall the moments where his aggression would slip out accidentally and how you’d react by way of flinching, backing yourself into a corner, your breath hitching in your throat, avoidant eye contact or straight up apologising for things you had nothing to do with whatsoever.

Originally he was pissed that you had past experiences of what he assumed were abusive and or manipulative relationships but was quick to realise that by giving into his anger would only make you more hesitant in opening up to him about your past, your problems and might even cause a crack in your relationship.

So he calmed himself down through some deep breathing, clearing away his mind of some violent thoughts aimed towards the people that had dared in laying their hands on you with harmful and the most vile of intentions; before looking over at your scared form with soft eyes and said; ‘you should never be made to apologise for things that aren’t your fault or doing, sweetheart. You just caught me by surprise is all, we’re alright, we’re okay.’

‘You. did. nothing. wrong.’ He states firmly but what broke his heart even further was your soft response of ‘okay.’

The next time something similar happened was when you began experiencing nightmares of your time being a sacrificial lamb for a household of vampires, stuck in the middle of nowhere. You honestly thought you were going to die there with how often they fed off you that you still got the scars from every place that they’ve ever fed from.

sometimes you’d have moments where it was as though you were stuck in that household again, experiencing the piercing of fangs digging your skin again and again, and again, and again, and they’d always occur in the parts of your body where you’ve been bitten before, one, twice, even multiple times. You would even remember the feeling sensation of lightheadedness from how ‘carried away’ they’d get during their feeds.

It didn’t matter whether or not they needed to feed on you as often as they did but it wasn’t like there was anything you could’ve done to defend yourself. You were a human going up against the supernatural, you were fated to loose that fight real fast and you didn’t wish to think of what could’ve happened has you died trying; you wondered even less about what they’d do to your body afterwards.

you reframed from looking at them when you got changed for bed or went into a shower. Hell you barely looked into any reflective surface in fear of your eyes drifting towards the fang marks that littered your neck and be transported back to that hellhole.

One night, it had gotten so bad to the point where you couldn’t bring your self to going back to sleep and seek a safe haven within the kitchen, where you helped yourself to liquid magic in the form of tea/coffee; Focusing on the taste and the way it goes done your throat more so then anything but also being hyper aware of your situation, going so far as to bring down with you a metal bat that Jason got for you.

Not those aluminium ones that bent after a couple of hits, but bats mad out of proper strong stuff that would do more damage to the recipient of the blows, rather then the bat itself.

So when Jason awoke to you not being in bed, he’s immediately presuming the worst has happened and is quick to act by flying down the stairs, but back in the kitchen the frantic sound of feet clambering down the stairs had you already on your feet, bat in hand as you readied to defend yourself.

‘Woah! Sweetheart! It’s me!’ Jason would say, hands in the air when he noted the bat in your hand. ‘Nightmare?’ He’d ask, having been in your place a fair share of times. So if there was anyone to note the signs, it was Jason. ‘Yeah.’ You said weakly, still gripping the bat despite feeling better knowing that it was only Jason. Your body however was still very much coming down from acting upon your inbuilt fight or flight instincts.

‘Mind if I join you?’ He then asked, gesturing to the space next to you.

‘Please.’ Was all you said.

‘Okay.’ With that Jason made himself a strong coffee and stood on the other side of the kitchen as to give you space but he could tell you appreciated him not delving deeper into it and he couldn’t blame you, the trauma of the past never truly goes away and it’s never an easy topic for one person to tackle on their own.

Right now you can both attempt in catching up on those shows you’ve been meaning to catch up on tougher.

[justatypicalwizard]

Wants Within | S. Shinazugawa | Chapter 6

✦ Sanemi Shinazugawa x femReader!, college au, reader is adult

✦ Synopsis: You're a college student taking classes with a very strict lecturer- professor Shinazugawa. Because of an unfortunate even you got on his bad side so now you're trying everything to regain in his eyes. Well, you most certainely didn't expect that kind of attention.

✦ Word count: 3k

18+, minors do not interact

The trip back went smoothly. It was less tiring than climbing up, sun reaching and caressing your face with its warm, autumn rais. You and your professor talked about your schedules, are you happy with them, about the university itself, some weird or funny situations related to it and so on and so forth. It was nice to have a normal talk with him, making him less and less scary in your eyes. Now, he was not the enigmatic, attractive professor that could make your life in college a living hell with one of his assignments. Now, he was just young, interesting and strict.

Back at the resort you were all staying in, life came back to its normal pace. Students were everywhere, completing some assignments, talking to their professors, chilling on sofas and doing all sorts of other things. Your major had one more small trip around the resort to gather at least a few samples for everyone. You had the biggest amount of different containers.

After dinner, people taking classes with Shinazugawa were supposed to gather in the main hall to deal with the samples. They were supposed to be taken back to the university for further research, but first they had to be secured. They were mostly simple things, but they demanded time.

Everyone was slowly finishing, but you weren't even in the middle. All the morning samples were still waiting. You also didn't know how to manage them, Shinazugawa only gave instructions for the ones everyone had.

In the corner of your eye, you see the white haired man coming your way. You were one of the last people sitting in the hall.

''When you finish with the standard ones, come to my room and we'll deal with the morning samples.'' He gave you instructions and you gladly nodded.

✦

Some time later, you finally did all you had to do here and started to pack the rest, about to headt to Shinnazugawas room. You made your way up some stairs and into the quiet part of the resort. Apart from the noisy area that the students occupied, this one here was totally peaceful.

You were just about to turn the corner to face your professor's door, when you heard a voice.

''We need to talk, let me in.'' You were unfamiliar with the woman that was talking, but she was definitely pissed.

Peeking around a bit, you spotted Shinazugawa standing in his room's door frame and a small, black haired lady. It was the same one you saw in the morning, smiling at the speaking professor. Was she one of the Kocho sisters?

''We have nothing to talk about.'' Shunazygawas voice was harsh, like you've never heard it.

''Oh yes, we do. This happens all over again, because you won't talk to us.'' The black haired spat out. ''You own her a big apology.''

''I already apologised, many times in fact.'' The white haired man kept his cool, but it was visibly running out.

''It was not sincere. She doesn't believe you, we don't believe you.

''I told you everything I had to say.''

''You're lying. There must be something that you're hiding. A diploma? You left her because of a diploma? Did she disturb your work so hard? Or maybe she was unwanted competition and you did it to kick her out of the rat race, hm?'' Her voice was venomous, burned out with hatred. ''Or did you just use her? You knew she only wated to have sex in a stable relationship and you played the fiance just to get her? Or you had a romance? Tell me, what was it?''

This was some deep shit that you were not supposed to hear. You could nearly imagine Shinazugawa doing all those things to the slender, fragile woman that the Kocho looked like. But would he really do that? What was the reason that he broke the engagement?

''These are some wild assumptions that I would never dare to do. You think about it too much and come to crazy conclusions. I've already told the both of you why I'm no longer with her.''

''It's bullshit.''

''It's true. You just can't suck up the truth, that your sister is not so perfect after all.'' He finally snapped out at her. ''Like I said, I won't talk about that any longer. All this here is unprofessional and please leave me alone, I'm waiting for a student. She might be here anytime.''

The younger Kocho looked pale, yet her face was smooth. The anger must have been deeply rooted within her and she taught herself how to control it.

''It's not the end of it.''

With that, the woman left.

You waited for some time, back sticked to the wall, breathing as quietly as possible. You felt so stupid. Not only did you hear something you shouldn't have, you never actually thought about turning around and walking away as soon as you realised you shouldn't be here. You just stood there, listening with curiosity to everything they said. Now, you're also curious. Is Shinazugawa the bad guy, or maybe that Kocho also did something?

All in emotions, you finally made your way to the door, knocking gently on it. It swung open, to reveal an angry face that faced away as soon as he realised who came. If you didn't know about the talk from just a while ago, you would think he is angry with you. Now, you felt sorry, that he had to hide his emotions so much and pretend like nothing ever happened.

Gesturing, he let you in. It was clean, none of his things particularly visible. Just a pair of glasses and a book on the nightstand, some papers on the desk and his phone tossed on a shelf. Apart from that, the room looked like every other hotel room.

He took the samples from you and instantly started talking about them. No smalltalk, chitchat, scolding or jokes. You weren't surprised by this. After such an emotional rollercoaster, you would be crawling under your bed sheets.

Somewhere halfway through the samples that you both managed in silence someone knocked on the door. Shinazugawa glanced at the entrance with anger still lingering in his eyes. He excused you and opened, revealing a tall woman with long, black hair.

She was dressed extremely pretty. It looked as if she picked a fancy pyjama set for purpose. It was not too comfy to look unprofessional, but it was also not everyday dressing. She had a loose, white dress, some sort of a knitted cardigan on top and soft, silky shoes that looked very delicate and classy. Her long hair was let loose, framing her form. A small smile planted on her pink lips, while she looked at the white haired man.

Compared to that goddess, you looked like Sith.

''May we talk to you, Sanemi?'' It was the first time you heard someone talk to him by his first name.

''I'm busy, as you can see.'' He pointed your way and the goddess gave you a glance.

She blinked with her long lashes a few times before crooking her neck and giving you a small smile. You smiled back, feeling like a rabbit in front of a speeding car. They didn't know you knew, but you knew. You tried to look as shocked and puzzled as you could.

Looking behind the tall beauty, you spotted the shorter, scarier one standing behind her. Her expression was a whole other world. She was dressed casually and had a serious face. Putting her hands on her sister's hips, she moved her gently aside, pushed through Shinazugawa and standed next to you, looking at your hands and investigating your composure.

''Leave.'' You stared at her, eyes wide.

''You can't do that, that's my student and we are in the middle of something.'' The white haired man came closer to the short woman.

Younger Kocho burned holes in his face, heering the 'in the middle of something' part. You knew what she was thinking about and you felt very uneasy. You didn't want to get dragged down into this.

Standing up, you grabbed your phone and notebook, all of them looking at you. Stepping aside, you walked to the door.

''I'm sorry for taking your personal time, professor. If you are busy, we can reschedule this. I really didn't want to bother, sorry once more.'' Maybe you tried to help him a bit, giving the sisters a hint that you were the one that asked to come here. Or maybe you just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible and that was the first thing that came to your mind.

Whatever, you were standing outside the door, the younger Kocho looking at you in a judging manner, the older still with that smile plastered on her face and Shinazugawa with a shocked and apologetic look.

''I'm sorry for the disturbance but we have some urgent matters to discuss.'' The older sister nodded your way, before closing the door gently.

Even though it was all over for you, you started to feel curious. Now, when you were safe in your own personal space once more, you wanted to hear what was going on, who was guilty, could you really look at Shinazugawa the way you looked at him before?

But wait, what way did you look at him before?

He was smart, very, very smart. Like, sexy smart if you're into science stuff. That coldish and demanding manner scared you at first, but now you saw that it has a purpose. His excitement and passion about the things he likes. The top two buttons of that damn white shirt of his. His slender hips and wide arms, toned muscled under the fitted tee. His white hair, always messy and those pale, lavender eyes that could pierce through you, but also turn you on so hard.

Oh gee...

You had a crush on him. The tension you felt about him being such a charming man now added up with the connection you thought you had. The small talks and the fact he showed intentionally or not, his human side made you fall.

Ah! You would think about it later. Now, you need to know what they are talking about. Thinking and analysing, you registered that this was the last room on the corner. Just next to it was a small balcony, connected to the corridor. If Shinazugawa had his window open, you could hear if you would stand on that balcony.

Not wasting time, you rushed to the place. You felt nasty, but also so good. You won't tell anyone, that was a promise you made to yourself, no matter how many things you will hear and what they will be about, you won't tell anyone. You just had to know, if Shinazugawa was a bastard and you're a stupid goose, or was it not his fault.

Reaching the balcony, you thanked all the gossiping gods. His window was open, right next to the balcony and his blinds were down so they wouldn't see you here. Keeping your breath in, you listened to what they were saying.

''This was far too much. You come here, interrupt my planned study session, kick out MY student and start a fight.'' You heard Shinazugawas voice.

''I said we need to talk. Besides, I don't believe in that 'study session'. You always liked to mess around with a lot of girls.'' The younger Kocho started.

''That was in highschool and you're out of your mind. It's disrespectful of you to even think about her in such a manner.''

''I know you.''

''You know shit.''

''Why do you defend her so much? You don't care about others.'' The short woman was still striking him with questions.

''Because she's my student and you're attacking her. You're basically calling her a bitch that sleeps with me to get good grades.''

''Then why does she have such good grades?''

''Because she's a good student for fucks sake. She also has some bad ones just like everyone else.''

''What, did she suck off your dick bad?''

''Enough!'' You heard the white haired shout.

''Shinobu, that was out of line. I think that girl has nothing to do here.'' The third voice stood up.

''Don't ever talk about my students like that.'' he was still fuming.

''That's not what we wanted to talk about here.'' The older Kocho stated in a quiet voice.

You didn't know how that Shinobu reacted, but they just kept talking.

''I just want a real explanation of why you left. You told that it was because of the misunderstandings, but I don't see what I did wrong.'' The older one kept talking. ''That's why I feel like you're lying. Just tell the truth, please.''

There was a second of silence.

''If I tell you everything, will you leave me once and forever?'' Shinazugawa sighed.

''Yes.'' The younger one answered quickly.

''Great. Did you ever consider Kanae, that I never wanted that engagement? I don't know what you told Shinobu, but she pressured, and finally offended me for so long that I finally proposed to you just to have it off my head. She threatened me that if I don't propose to you she will talk you into leaving me right away. And you know what?'' He paused for a second. ''I believed her. I was scared that once again, I was not enough. You wanted a husband and a family, I was just a mere boyfriend. I was scared, because I didn't want to do that, but I was more scared of losing you. We were together for so long then, at least that was in my stupid mind. I thought that it won't change much between us. We were in college, living together and having fun, starting our careers. Well, I was wrong. You guys, both of you, started to bombard me with hundreds of expectations. You never considered my emotions. The two of you talked between yourself about how I'm supposed to talk, act, behave, think, everything. I didn't get to decide whether I could do something or not, your needs were always the first. I felt like I was dating not Kanae, but both of you. The fucking good and bad policemen. You always had something to say, to add, to correct in me. And there were two of you. I had no one who could show me what a toxic relationship looks like. Do you recall how because of a tea with your parents I missed Genyas graduation? Shinobu said, that Genya had average grades so it's nothing special, and your parents what to give me a job proposition.''

''Because they wanted, and it was a far better job than you could gain yourself with the education you had. You had to start to think like and adult!'' Shinobu spat out.

''I was thinking like an adult! You are the two who are stuck in highschool drama. Me and Genya are fucking orphans, I took care for him for as long as I remember. Do you think there is anything more important for me than him? Yet, I missed it, because I was stupid enough to believe you, that if don't come, you will break up with me.''

''You should have priorities, your wife should be on...'' He didn't let her end.

''Kanae was never my wife. She was never more important than Genya, and you know why? Because I was the only fucking adult then, you two acted like brats. Do you really thought, that at twenty two I would still act like that fifteen year old sneaking through your window? That we would be sweethearts to the end of time? Grow up! Yes I did tell you that I will always be yours, but I was fifteen! That didn't mean anything and you know damn well we were too young to make any serious decisions. Yet, you stuck to your perfect life scenario and treated me just like a component that has to fit in. I was sick of that. I'm a person with feelings and dreams that I want to pursue. You never acknowledged that I've grown and changed. People grow up and grow apart, that's how life works. Please just let go of me, you destroyed too many things. Please just stop and vanish from my life. All you gave me at the end was anxiety and hundert missed opportunities to be myself. I wanted to be myself, not labelled as your boyfriend. You rooted out my feelings for you yourself. Now please, just go.''

Silence fell upon all of them. That was way deeper than you thought.

''I'm sorry I wasn't your perfect man and that I didn't grow to your expectations. We just naturally started to drift apart and we both must accept it. It's over Kanae.''

After a short while you heard the door opening. They didn't even say anything and they are leaving. Guess they really didn't consider such an answer. Then, you heard the voice of the older one once more.

''Sanemi, you need to know that I still have a place in my heart for you. If you would ever want to reconsider, I'm here. I can change for you.''

''Stop Kanae, I don't want this. I doubt you'll ever change, just go look for your knight on a white horse. I don't say I don't believe that you'll find someone like that. I just want you to know that it won't be me. We've been together for over eight years, but now, it's over.''

''Can I kiss you one last time?'' She asked.

Your stomach sank a bit. A goddess like her kissing Shinazugawa. What if he remembers all the things she loved about her and reconsiders? Even if not, the image of them sharing one last passionate kiss was just hurtful.

''No, please don't touch me.'' Was his only answer.

Now you knew that he definitely had enough of her. If he didn't even want to do her that last favour, she must have hurt him enough.

You heard the door close. They were both gone. 

SERIES MASTERLIST

[tleeaves]

See, everything about this screams "bad idea." He prefers bustling cities, I crave quiet nature out in the middle of nowhere (I do quite like cities though because of the stimulation every so often - a balance is my preference). He loves to swim, loves the beach, used to go out clubbing and drinking a lot before life got in the way. I have a deep phobia related to water and a dislike for most beaches, I detest the idea of clubbing and if I drink more than a glass of something I'll make myself sick. He enjoys capitalism, I am generally anti-capitalist. He's accident prone and has the scars to prove it, and I am an over-worrier who's been too careful about basically everything my whole life. He actually seems eager to see me whenever we catch up and for so long I treated him with indifference, and now I fear the tables have turned. I don't even know why he'd want to keep seeing me in any way. When we first met, he'd basically picked me out as a liberal arts feminist with dyed hair and opinions on queerness from That State down south, and I'd pegged him as some uptight rich douchebag's neglected son from overseas who views the world in shades of black, white and grey in between straight lines with an obsession over the corporate world. I thought he'd hate me. But he's so sweet to me. He's never inappropriate (except for when he asked my relationship status way early on, and I had briefly considered scolding him). He's actually good at listening. He's weirdly shy. And fun to tease because of that. He won't say he wants to see me and when I bring it up he just laughs and goes "I thought by asking when you were free would make it obvious?" If I leave one of his messages as just read and he feels he should have said more - he'll actually add more like he's worried about it. I don't know why he ever worries what I think of him. He's had much more intimate experience and I am an awkward virgin who half-expects to die that way too unless I give in to certain alternatives. He's a perfectionist and idk how he hasn't burned out yet. He's highly intelligent. Can consume what would be deadly amounts of caffeine if it were me. He dresses neat and has the nicest glasses. When I mentioned plants - heaven forbid - he actually asked me about them and let me yap for ages until I gained self-awareness again and stopped and apologised. He dismissed the apology and said he'd learned heaps from me that he'd never known before. This has never happened when I talk to a guy about my gardening hobby. It's not even a big deal. This is bare minimum shit and I know damn well I expect flowers, nice dinners, and actual dates beyond coffees from someone serious but it's just enough for that tiny crush I've been trying to kill since it first peeped green from the soil.

And some days I can't help but want to ask him... if I was any other woman and we'd met under any other number of circumstances... would he still be talking to me? Would we be friends? More? Less?

[josefavomjaaga]

Ciao Josefa! How are you?

I just wanted to ask you about the relationship between Eugène and Louis Bonaparte. No snippet about it comes to my mind, but if you or someone else already talked about it, would you like to send me some link? Thanks in advance!✨️

Thanks for the question, and no, I do not think I ever have. Mostly for the reason I've mentioned in the other very lengthy post about Hortense's and Louis' marriage: I do not think I could offer enough sources from Louis' side.

My gut feeling is that Eugène started out quite friendly towards Louis and slowly was dragged onto Hortense's side in the marital squabble. Which is probably quite natural, considering this was Hortense, his beloved sister. However, he for a very long time seems to have tried to bring about a reconciliation, forever stuck in the thankless role of a family mediator that he himself had chosen.

While Hortense claims that she managed to hide her unhappy marriage completely from her brother (which may or may not be true), Eugène must at least have been aware of her ambiguous feelings as a bride, because he wrote to her a very long letter full of encouragement and brotherly advice (it's interesting that Eugène had been sent away on a mission immediately before the marriage was arranged and the wedding happened, some historians seem to assume on purpose, so Hortense could not have induced him to intervene on her behalf).

From now, in his letters he will dutifully greet and embrace Louis together with Hortense and occasionally inquire after Louis' health. I do not think he held any ill feelings for Louis originally (Eugène was in general not good with holding ill feelings 😋. Okay, Masséna possibly being an exception). Tensions slowly start to trickle into the correspondence from 1805 on at the latest when Hortense lets Eugène know rather bluntly that Louis had (allegedly) complained about Eugène not writing in the same old familiar manner to him, now that he was a prince, but in a stilted, official way (which then later led to Eugène apologising in advance towards Louis about having to send him an official, very formal information about the birth of the first vice-regal princesse).

These tensions may, on Louis' side, also stem a bit from the Bonaparte-Beauharnais tensions that broke out as soon as Eugène was named viceroy of Italy and that completely troubled Eugène's relations with Murat. But when it came to the prospect of Eugène's royal marriage, Marie-Hélène Baylac cites from a letter Louis wrote to Hortense in late 1805, where he seems quite interested in the project, can't believe Eugène is still clueless himself, sends all his best hopes and congratulates Hortense on soon hopefully embracing her brother at such a happy occasion. So, no apparent ill feelings on his side either.

The most interesting bit I've come across so far is a letter Eugène wrote to Hortense after the death of her oldest son, and after she had recovered enough to make plans for taking the waters - alone! - in the Pyrenees, which then led to her hiking tour in the mountains and her getting pregnant with a certain Napoleon III. A pregnancy that destroyed every resemblance of normalcy in Hortense's marriage, precisely at a point when at least Louis was very ready to forget everything and start over.

The interesting bit is that in a letter before Hortense embarges on her solo trip - a step that was utterly unusual and must have raised quite some eyebrows in society anyway - Eugène in a letter implores her to not do it. To please think of her husband, her second child, to not make it look as if she was turning her back to her family, to mourn the boy together with the family etc. It's almost as if he knows - or guesses - what will happen.

After the open break-up between his sister and his brother-in-law, he then, if a bit reluctantly, lets himself be drawn completely over to Hortense's side. But as late as during Eugène's and Hortense's exile in Bavaria, when Louis wants his older son to join him in Italy and does not trust Hortense's people to bring the child safely to him, he insists that one of Eugène's aides accompany the boy.

And finally, after Eugène already has had his first stroke and is sent for recovery to take the waters in Marienbad, he there encounters - besides Goethe - his brother-in-law. He does not write much about this meeting, only that Louis had aged so much he barely recognized him (Eugène, by that time, had gotten so stout that Louis may have had similar problems 😁).

I kinda hope that the two of them at least ended up making their peace with each other. Louis was only three years older than Eugène, his birthday was one day before Eugène's, and I always felt that as far as their character was concerned, they had much in common. These two should have been friends.

Thanks for the Ask!

[otakusheep15]

Hello! May I request a match up for Obey Me please?

She/her pronouns

Bisexual leaning towards male

Positive traits: quiet sometimes, obedient, patient, helpful, kind-hearted, sweet, affectionate, reliable, loyal, understanding, empathetic and (apparently) smart

Negative traits: self-deprecating, almost 0 ego & self-confidence, self-doubting, anxious, worry & stress easily, bottling up emotions, slow thinker, gullible, naïve at times

Hobbies: reading, playing badminton, crafting from time to time, manga & anime

Characters I specifically do NOT want to be matched with: Mammon, Beel, Belphegor, Diavolo, Simeon, and Luke

Extra things to my traits: I probably overthink under pressure. I cry easily out of frustration, so I don’t really express my anger because I hate yelling and I would rather stay silent than hurt someone with words. I am sensitive which means I’ll also easily cry if someone I respect or admire starts yelling at me. I bottle up my emotions because I don’t want to be a burden on anyone (like my friend cried when I told her a few things… I refuse to share more with anyone else close to me T^T) It’s hard for me to believe when my friends say I’m smart because it doesn’t reflect academically (although it could be because most of them lean towards arts and humanities while I lean towards sciences). I enjoy studying chemistry! I prefer to follow rather than lead because I associate it with taking risks which I absolutely avoid at all costs if I can. Also because I’d rather follow rules and not get into trouble. I tend to be ‘invisible’ to attract the least amount of attention, because I despise being in the spotlight. I apologise too much even if something might not be my mistake, because I want to avoid conflict at all costs. When it comes to love, I tend to give my whole heart into the relationship, which would explain my loyalty. I have been feeling this laziness for a few years, but my friends believe it might be depression according to my situation.

Thank you so much, have a lovely day/night and please take care!

Hi, we are literally the same person. I relate to most of this on a personal level lol.

Anyways, I would match you with Leviathan!

I think the two of you would get along really well, as you have quite a bit in common. You're both pretty quiet, so you could just relax and enjoy each other's company without the need for conversation. Your patience and kindness would be a huge plus in the beginnings of your relationship, as Levi would be quite slow to open up. It would take him some time, but with your help, he'd get there eventually. Once he does, he's very affectionate and loving, if a bit nervous. The both of you are also very loyal to each other which is something he values a lot.

Both you and Levi also have a lot of negative traits in common. You're both very self-deprecating and anxious, but I actually think this would work out quite well. For as self-deprecating as Levi is towards himself, he would do anything within his power to hype you up. He is your biggest fan and number one support system. In the same way, I can see him starting to treat himself better, especially if he has you helping him. If you're ever stressed out, his room is a sensory safe haven. The cool lighting helps relax you immediately, and he has so many pillows and blankets to get comfy in. His room also has a lot of distractions if you need a brain break, and he's more than happy to share them with you.

Badminton is definitely not a hobby Leviathan enjoys participating in, but you better believe he is, once again, your biggest hype man. Whether you just play for fun or you're seriously competing, Levi is right there to cheer you on from the stands. If he wasn't so anxious about drawing attention, he'd probably make a sign and everything. Other than that, you both have pretty similar hobbies. Levi only really reads manga and light novels, but he's not opposed to regular books if you have any recommendations for him. He'll read anything you recommend, trust me. He also loves art, especially drawing. Craft dates would be very fun for the two of you, especially if you happen to enjoy the same mediums. Obviously, he also loves anime and manga. A lot of your time spent together is in his room watching anime. he also lends you his manga collection since he trusts you to take care of it.

And, look, you and Levi have a lot in common. I usually match him with people I think have a similar vibe. I also think he would be surprisingly good at helping you overcome a lot of your more "negative" traits. As much as Leviathan looks down on himself, he would not feel the same way about you, regardless of how similar y'all may be. If you're feeling insecure, Levi is right there to hype you up. If you need to vent or talk about something, he will listen to you without any judgement. He'll also give you honest advice if you ask for it. He would encourage you to open up to him because you make him want to open up as well. You make him better whether you realize it or not, and he wants to return the favor. Of course, he would never force you out of your comfort zone, as he knows how horrible that can feel if you aren't ready, but he wants to help you like you help him. Your relationship would be all about mutual growth and assurance, and not a day goes by where he doesn't encourage you to be your best self.

Rules for matchups

[codgod]

OKAY. slightly more comprehensive and hopefully more useful tips for writing qmariana because the other post i made was kinda a mess. this one also is but hopefully less so. this is basically me expounding upon everything i already said + adding info from a lot of the tags i got on the original post pointing out stuff i didn’t mention

also going to mention again that a lot of this IS related to slimeriana because that’s the main flavour of qsmp fics i read BUT they should all work as general pointers. slimeriana are just gonna end up as my go-to examples for what i’m talking about. and second disclaimer that i barely speak even basic spanish so there are probs gonna be even more things i may have missed or messed up, i’m forging through with the power of youtube auto translate

all that said, here:

he’s not great at speaking english —

it is okay to write a character not being good at speaking a language! i don’t know why everyone seems to be fine with writing charlie speaking broken spanish but not the other way around. so many times i’ve seen him written as speaking perfect english and then just sometimes swearing or having a few lines of dialogue in spanish, if even that. that is simply just not how he talks

common things i personally have noticed mariana does: repeats words, says words that sound similar to the one he wants but not Quite [think words that rhyme or have a similar sound to them, like nipples and pimples lol], he’ll often get frustrated and switch back to spanish and just rely on the translator, especially for longer or more complex sentences/statements, there’ll sometimes be pauses between words or he talks slowly. he tries his best to speak english around the english speaking server members but again, will also just speak spanish and use the translator if he’s gonna be talking a lot

other small things: he swears quite a bit, and has a few favourites [namely mamahuevo (eng equivalent is cocksucker) is the one that comes to mind. and i don’t feel like i’m writing this out correctly but also chinga tu madre (fuck you/fuck your mother? i think?). in english the first one that comes to mind is motherfucker]. also calls kids mami/papi a lot, not even just juanaflippa

he’s almost always written as either too nice OR too mean —

he’s not a one-dimensional piece of paper just there to either dote on slime or make his life hell. he jokes and teases and he has a bit of a harsh sense of humour sometimes, but he’s very rarely malicious in his actions. if he’s really in the wrong about something he’ll get defensive, but will eventually end up apologising

that said, again, he’s not always nice! he gives as good as he gets when slime picks fights with him, he and bobby had a very playfully antagonistic relationship as far as i could tell. it’s like picking playful fights is part of his love language

he was always very sweet to juanaflippa though :D except a few teasing jokes here and there. he was a good dad, besides the murder JHVSJD

speaking of his sense of humour —

it can be very… blunt? for lack of a better word? he says some bizarre shit with a completely straight face. best example i can think of is him suggesting he and charlie could play a porn game together because they wouldn’t have to talk. obviously that’s cc not character, but it carries over. or, alternatively, the circumcision bit on day 1. basically if u watch charlie more, look at his sense of humour and translate it into spanish — there’s a reason they get along so well :D zero normal people in this relationship. the most you’ll get is them occasionally passing the “straight man” role back and forth, getting bewildered at each other but ultimately going along with whatever the bit is

he’s not a cheater! —

i know. i know ppl like the angst. but he never actually cheated on slime, not beyond being kinda flirty with other men but then pulling back and saying he was married whenever they returned that energy. he’s a bitch, but a loyal one /silly

but seriously, qmariana loves his family so much. he always wanted things to work out between him and slime. the only mc skin of his that actually shows his hands has him wearing his wedding ring, for christs sake. he’s not an absentee father, and he’s not a cheater, he just likes to joke flirt with his friends

he’s very open about his emotions! —

i have never once known this man to hide his feelings or be stoic in any situation. if he’s sad he cries, if he’s angry or frustrated he yells and swears, if he’s happy he laughs. if you are writing mariana as a person to keep his feelings hidden you are Doing It Wrong. the most he might do is hide one emotion behind another, but he’s almost always showing something

he LOVES music —

this man will sing at any given opportunity. he quotes song lyrics out of nowhere constantly. english, spanish, doesn’t matter, he loves music. it is literally always worth it to have him singing a lullaby to juanaflippa in a fic because it is both very in character and very cute