#i am... shook and quaking and also a terrible person so sorry

[essiefreds]

This one’s wild. 

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18,  Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22

Word Count: 3125

Tagged: @hotemotionalmess

Almost the minute you walked into headquarters the following day, after a night of restless sleep filled with dreams that you were positive had been nightmares, but that you could not describe in detail, Director Fury intercepted you. 

“What have you learned?” he asked, looking and sounding patient, although his question made you wonder if he was really willing to be so. 

“Uh… probably what you already have hundreds of files on,” you replied, wanting to step around him, but not wanting to risk it. “I just had him tell me about himself." 

"You ate dinner with him.”

“Yes,” you confirmed. “I think he’s been craving human interaction, but he hasn’t been able to form trust with anyone enough to ask them to spend time with him.” You lifted your shoulders. “I didn’t exactly give him a choice yesterday, but I think I must’ve convinced him I’m trustworthy, because he asked me to eat with him.”

Also, no one’s called it ‘had dinner with him’. Why is that? Is it because 'had dinner with him’ makes it sound like a date, or something? Maybe. No one’s comfortable with the idea of the super soldier dating when he’s barely ventured out of his apartment, apparently.

Director Fury did not relax, but he did say, “It’s a start,” so you supposed that was as close as you were going to get to approval. “What are your plans for today?" 

"I’m going to give him some breathing space,” you responded, gratefully moving around Fury as he stepped out of the way, but walked with you towards where you’d established a space for yourself in one of the many sectors of SHIELD’s headquarters. “I don’t want to overwhelm him with my presence, however accepting of it he seems to be.” You paused. “Does he have a way of getting in contact with people down on these levels?”

“Of course,” Fury said. “Why?" 

You lifted your shoulders. "I told him that whenever he wants to eat with me, he just has to let me know. I wanted to make sure that he has a way of doing that.”

Director Fury was silent for a moment as you started down a hall towards the vacant room that you’d claimed as an office. You did not have an official job title with SHIELD, other than Agent Y/LN, but since the space had not been occupied, you took it as your own. You always worked better in solitude, rather than with people all around you, talking and moving around. 

“You should discuss a direct line of contact with him, see how he feels about that,” Fury finally said as you reached the door to your office. 

“Really?”

He nodded. “Whatever gets him moving into the future. If he prefers to have contact with you whenever he wants it, and if you’re comfortable with it, of course, then we should give it to him.” He paused, studying you carefully with his one good eye, and seemingly his eye patch as well. It was kind of an unnerving feeling. “But it’s just for work purposes, obviously. We’re not trying to create a relationship, here." 

Something within you protested strongly to this, but you forced it to stay silent as you replied aloud, "Of course, sir. Strictly professional." 

"Good,” Fury said. “Send me a memo when you decide to head up there.” He turned, and walked away, leaving you to enter your office on your own. 

As soon as the door was closed, you allowed the protesting part of yourself speak its mind: Not form a relationship? What the hell is the cyclops thinking? Of course you want to form some kind of relationship with Steve! How else are you supposed to convince him that he can trust you with the task of helping him adjust? He needs a friend right now, not another SHIELD agent who is only focused on getting the job done. He needs someone who is working to help him, and not just the agency.

There were solid points in that argument. Forming bonds with people that you wanted to help had always been a large component of actually being able to assist someone. When a person felt as though you were a friend, they automatically expressed more trust in you, and were willing to tell you more, and with less hesitation. If Director Fury wanted to get Captain Rogers back into the world sooner rather than later, than it was incredibly necessary that Steve felt like you were his friend. 

And you wouldn’t mind being his friend, either. You liked him, quite a lot. He was kind, had a sense of humor, and genuinely seemed interested in you, in your life. Under completely different circumstances, you would not hesitate in trying to befriend a man like him, perhaps even going so far as to ask him on a few dates. 

But, because of the current situation, that latter part was completely impossible, and apparently, the former bit was at least a little bit unorthodox. Although you couldn’t understand why. Things pointed in SHIELD’s favor if you befriend Steve.

It meant that, once he actually did adjust to the 21st century enough to be on his own, that someone in SHIELD would still have contact with him. No doubt the agency would still keep tabs on him, but didn’t it make sense to have someone doing so in a more ethical way? 

Annoyed, you sat down at your desk, and poked at the snow globe that sat on the surface. You’d need to talk to Director Fury about it in more depth, once you actually had something to report, and could prove that you were managing to get things rolling. 

The day passed normally. You sorted through some files that had to do with other assets that SHIELD was debating sending you in on. Namely, Anthony Edward Stark. You knew Stark (how could you not), and that SHIELD had been trying to get him on board with some undisclosed project. They’d gone so far as to help Stark save his own life, even, and you knew that they were just waiting for the perfect opportunity to cash in on that favor. The downside, however, was his attitude about the whole thing. Stark hating owing anybody a favor.

According to the files that had been sent to your office a few days prior, they wanted you to try and shift that opinion. 

You didn’t think you’d be able to do that. Your work was dealing with trauma victims and war veterans, and apparently, helping ninety year old men adjust to a future they had suddenly woken up in. You could not change the minds of playboy billionaires. 

Also while camped out at your desk, you sent an order in for the most popular movies that had come out during the 1940’s, as well as a few choice films from the 1950’s that you might be able to move onto. Because of SHIELD’s vast resources, digital copies of all the movies, as well as a portable DVD player, were delivered to your office within an hour. These joined the collection of modern movies that you had brought from your apartment. You had a plan, and hopefully, it was a good one. 

At one o'clock in the afternoon, you decided that you’d stalled as much as possible, and headed upstairs to Steve’s apartment. On the way, you passed by an intern, who was ushering down the hall with a cart that looked like the one that dinner had been brought up on the night before. 

“How is Captain Rogers today?” you asked the intern, who blinked at you. 

“Uh… normal? I don’t know.”

“Great, thanks,” you said, refraining from rolling your eyes. You supposed that normal was a good word, though. 

You continued down the hall to the door, which you noticed was the only door in the hall, aside from the elevator near the other end. It was kind of startling to realize that this entire floor belonged to Steve, and yet he did not choose to venture beyond that door. There was no reason for him to, however, was there? The hallway was not decorated, had nothing to offer. 

Maybe you could change that. You’d have to think on the best way to use the space, to help with your goal of welcoming him to the 21st century. 

You knocked on the door. About a minute passed before it opened. You did not think too long on the implications of that, especially because, once the door had opened, and Steve saw it was you standing on the other side, his eyes lit up considerably, and he smiled. 

“Hi,” he greeted. 

“Hello,” you returned, smiling back. “How’s your day been so far?" 

"The same as it usually is,” he replied. His eyes drifted down to the bag you carried with both hands. “What’s in there?" 

"A surprise,” you answered. “Can I come in?" 

"Of course,” Steve said immediately, stepping out of the way of the door. A big improvement from the day before. 

You entered the apartment, and set your bag of DVDs on the sofa. Steve joined you in the main room, and looked at the bag curiously. “I hope this surprise isn’t anything too surprising -”

“Why don’t you let me show you?” you suggested, and he nodded after a moment of hesitation. You reached into the bag, and after rooting around in it for a moment, you pulled out a copy of the oldest movie that had been delivered to you. You turned around, and held it out to Steve. 

He stared at it for a moment, and then he lifted his gaze to meet yours. “Casablanca?" 

”Casablanca,“ you confirmed, holding it out further, in an effort to encourage him to take it, which he did. "Have you seen it?" 

"Of course,” he answered. “It came out in 1942." 

"Oh, good,” you said. “You can explain it to me while we watch it, then." 

"Wait, what?” he asked as you turned back to the bag, to go about setting up the portable DVD player. “I don’t - I thought you were supposed to be explaining modern things to me?" 

"Yeah, and I will,” you said to him, pulling the player and it’s power cord from the bag. “We’ll take turns. We’ll start with a movie that you’ve seen, and then I’ll show you a movie more recent, and then we’ll watch a movie that neither of us has seen. That way, we’ll be even.”

Steve did not appear to know what to think of this. He watched as you plugged in the portable DVD player, and then turned around to look for somewhere to set it up so that you’d be able to watch it together. 

“Here,” he said at last, handing you Casablanca, and going to retrieve the table from the night before. “This should work, right?” he asked, holding it up with one hand. 

“Yeah,” you agreed, pleased that he was willing to cooperate. 

He set up the table for you, and you set the DVD player down on top of it, before putting the DVD itself into it. You then turned to look at Steve. “You’ll probably have to actually sit next to me on the couch, this time,” you said, smirking. 

“If you don’t mind,” he replied, hesitantly. You responded by patting the empty cushion beside you, and after a moment, Steve moved around the couch and settled down there. He was clearly uncomfortable, at least for the first few minutes while you prepared the movie. 

By the time you’d hit play, he had relaxed, at least enough to actually lean back. 

“So��� what’s the premise of this movie?” you asked him as the opening credits started to flash across the screen. 

He glanced at you. “Uh, well, basically, this guy has to protect a woman and her husband from Nazis,” he explained. 

“Why?" 

"I can’t tell you that, it’ll spoil the movie.”

“But it’s almost two hours long,” you complained. 

He chuckled. “Just watch. It’s pretty good, I think." 

"You would think so,” you sighed, but turned your attention to the DVD player nonetheless. 

Throughout the movie, you continually glanced over at him to see how he was handling watching it on such as small screen. He seemed to be enjoying himself, however, despite the difference in viewing than what he’d most likely experienced back in his time period. It was probably due to the fact that the movie was familiar to him, and that he wanted to pay attention, just in case you had any questions for him. The plot of the movie was strange, and you found yourself asking questions. Although they were about the movie, they were also check-ins, to see if Steve was still doing all right. He responded amiably and patiently to each one, which was a good sign, that it wasn’t a strain for him to watch the movie on the small screen. 

However, you decided that it was probably a good idea to maybe get a bigger one set up, at some point in the future. 

Once the movie was over, and the credits were rolling, Steve looked at you, clearly waiting for your assessment.

You had to be honest. “Uhm… I didn’t like it.”

You were relieved when Steve let out a laugh. “That doesn’t surprise me in the slightest." 

"I just - were we supposed to be rooting for that Rick guy and the girl? Because, excuse my language, but Rick was a dick." 

Steve merely laughed harder, as you continued to complain about the movie. "Like, okay, it’s obvious they had a past relationship, right, but… why? He was the worst, Steve! And like, is the movie supposed to be romantic? Because it’s not! It was really, really, bad! And the premise of the movie, of people being stuck in Morocco, waiting to try and get to Lisbon, that’s great, but why wasn’t the movie about that?" 

"It kind of was,” Steve managed through his laughter. 

“No! It was about this jackass of a man, trying to fight against this love for a woman that he had once upon a time, while also trying to make sure she and her husband can get to the United States. I don’t… I don’t get it. It pissed me off.” You shook your head. “This movie is supposed to be a staple film, and it just… it was terrible. Although I do appreciate that it was kind of an original story. Most movies nowadays are just repetitions of something that already exists. Casablanca actually made me feel something, whereas a lot of movies today don’t make me feel anything at all." 

"Profound,” Steve said once he’d finally stopped laughing, and you were tempted to hit him, but you didn’t. “So, I’m going to guess that love in modern movies isn’t portrayed that way?”

“Not at all,” you responded, and he laughed again. “And, as such!” You reached for your DVD bag, and pulled out a modern movie that was known for it’s romance. Pulling it out, you offered it to him, and he frowned to himself as he took in the cover art. 

“What’s… what is this?” he finally asked, looking at you.

“This… is a modern romance movie, that takes places in the 1940’s,” you responded, smiling at him. “And… I don’t like it, but I don’t like romance in general. And I thought it was important to follow up a romance movie from the 1940’s with a romance movie from the early 2000’s." 

"How early?” Steve asked, handing it back over so that you could put it on. 

“2004. So like, it’s not super new, which is good for you, and it’s a familiar setting, being that it takes places in your time period. Right?”

“I guess we’ll see,” Steve said, although he sounded apprehensive. 

“Also, it’s super sad,” you said, and then you pressed play. 

“Wait, it’s sad?” Steve demanded. “I don’t want to be sad!" 

"Shh,” you hushed, pointing to the screen. 

Steve fell silent as the opening credits of The Notebook began to play. 

Looking back, it probably hadn’t been the best choice, but sometimes it was better to jump square into a pool than it was to linger on the edge of it for an extended period of time. Steve did not speak the entire time, unlike you during Casablanca. Instead, he watched the movie with rapt attention, his expressions varying between many different emotions throughout the film. 

At the end, you reached over to pause the credits, and then turned to him. You were thrilled (probably because you’re evil) to see a tear running down his cheek. 

“And that, Captain Rogers, was a romance that someone can get invested in,” you told him. 

“Yeah, uhm, huh.” He said, using his hand to wipe at his face. “That was… something." 

Immediately, you could tell that something was wrong. You stood up, cautiously, not wanting to invade his space. "It… it hit home with something for you,” you said, softly, watching as he covered his face with his hands. Even as you said this, it hit you: Agent Carter. 

“Oh, shit,” you cursed, cradling your own face in your hand. “Steve, I - shit. I didn’t even think about it. I’m so sorry." 

"It isn’t your fault,” he muttered, but he did not raise his head. 

“Yes, it is, I should’ve… I shouldn’t have just jumped into it like I did. I should’ve thought out it, thought about how it might… parallel. Dammit.” You couldn’t believe how stupid you’d been. “I’m… I’m really, really sorry. I should… I should go." 

"That might be a good idea,” Steve agreed, still not looking up.

Something inside you was screaming, probably in a mixture of rage at yourself, and horror that you’d already fucked up so terribly, and on the second day. As quickly as you could, you gathered up the remnants of the movie day you’d been having, sticking the two DVD cases and the player into your bag. You then headed for the door of the apartment. That thing within you was still screaming, although its focus had turned towards Steve rather than yourself. It was insisting that you shouldn’t leave him alone. 

You paused next to the door, and glanced back at him. He still sat on the couch, his head hanging in his hands. He did not look to be moving at all, not even to breathe. 

You closed your eyes, briefly, and exited the apartment. You’d have them set up surveillance, to make sure he didn’t try anything damaging to himself, but you knew that staying in the apartment was a terrible idea.

[monochromemedic]

I had been stuck in the Dark World for who knows how long. The days didn’t seem to matter down here. No sun, no moon, just the vibrant green grid that coated the sky that would twitch and surge with occasional frequency.  When I first got here, I fought hard to get back to the surface, to fight for any sense of normalcy, for home but after a while the dream began to fade. The options began to run dry when compared to the dangers that surrounded me. And so I settled. I survived. I searched for food, begged for shelter from kind Darkners. I did what I had to to live. The Queen was not an option. Whispers from Darkners told me how I was just what she was looking for, that would help her expand her reign to the Light World. As much as that would probably help me, I didn’t want to ruin the lives of others for the chance to see my family, as much as I missed them with every passing minute. The sound of bustling cars and the blinding lights of neon signs stung my senses, my palms pressing into my eyes to drown out what I could. Damn it this place never slept did it? There was always something, some sort of noise. Whatever bags I had under my eyes were probably made cartoonishly drastic with the lack of pure rest I was getting. ‘Supose it was better then being dead... My body felt heavy, and I knew I’d have to find a place to rest or I’d fall asleep mid crossing of a road and get run over by one of those goofy cars I’d seen. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad... I recalled the time one of the car’s rear bumped into a fire hydrant (or at least I thought it was) and made a squeaking sound. The darkness of a certain alley called to me, the silence a sweet lullaby to the roaring around me. Was it dangerous? Oh yeah. Was it stupid? No shit. Was I going to do it? The shadows the engulfed me were perfect and if it wasn’t for the underlying stench of garbage it’d probably be ideal. Still beggars couldn’t be choosers and if tonight was good enough I would have to consider having this as my permanent sleeping spot. My back slid against the cool wall across from the dumpster, eyes half lidded as they read the advertisements littering above. Why the hell did the Queen have ads anyway, if she wanted she could monopolize any products she wanted... Despite the quiet I couldn’t shake the feeling that creeped down my spine. The presence of something other then myself around me. I tried to close my eyes, I was in the city after all. It’d be concerning if I didn’t feel like people were one second from crawling up my ass. Though I had to admit I didn’t expect to actually feel something begin to touch me. My eyes snapped open, elbow prodding into a blurry shape that yelped and tumbled backward, it’s grasp my on shoulder tearing a hole in my already worn shirt in the struggle. “Hey! What the hell?!” I barked, standing over the perpetrator. My shoulders slumped when I saw what looked to be a doll staring up at me with wide eyes, an over exaggerated smile permanently spread across it’s face. The creature’s jaw opened wider with a clack, it’s small body shooting upwards to stand on it’s small pointed feet. “WOAH WOAH WOAHAH- [Live worms]!”   The darkner’s voice was deafeningly loud, a shrill tone that cut the air like newly sharpened blades. “ I THOUGHT YOU WERE [Roadkill]. NICE TO KNOW I WON’T BE [Sleeping with the fishes] T0NIGHT!!” Well he had a certain way of speaking that was obvious. What the hell was going on with him, he talked like he was constantly being cut of random clips of other people speaking. He talked like a youtube poop or any other shitpost that would randomly shove memes into them for a quick laugh. “You thought I was dead? I was just... I was... uh.” I looked around me, eyeing the dirt and debris. “I was... going to sleep... here.”  Dammit, telling people I had to sleep in such ratty places were always a blow to the ego but I suppose it was better then saying ‘Oh I was just sitting down here to die’ The puppet shook his head and waltzed over to the dumpster, his small hand smacking the side with a sense of pride. “ [Finders keepers, losers weepers] HUMAN, YOU PICKED A GOOD SPOT. TOO BAD [so sadd] I GOT HERE FIRST. THOUGH FOR A DEAL I SUPPOSE I COULD [Share the love~]” “Got here first... what are you talking about?” The Darkner let out a laugh, distorted echoes filling the air as he leapt inside, a solitary hand popping out to beg me to come closer. This was a terrible idea, but despite my best judgement I followed, and witnessed what I could only describe to be a makeshift bed inside.  The puppet laid on top of musty mats and raggedy rugs, a single stained pillow resting just beneath his head. My god was he living in here? The creature continued his laugh, lurching only a few inches away from my face. “ [Sweet deal] ISN’T IT? J3ALOUS, [baby]?”  I shirked back, cheeks reddening at the tone of his last word. I was most defiantly not jealous, in fact I was filled with remorse, something his pride did not help with. “It’s... uh something. I guess this means I’ll have to find another alleyway um, sorry for bothering you-” “SPAMTON.” “What?” His hand shot out towards my chest, fingers wiggling for a handshake. “SP-SPA MTON G SPAMTON, [Number 1 rated salesmen 1997]” He announced, an extra flair of bravado laced his titled. His hand was surprisingly warm for what it was made of but nothing that would be described as body temperature.  “Jenna. Also 1997.” “WHAT A YEAR. LISTEN LIGHT nER, I AM DEALSMAN [yes/no?]” “Um... y-yes? I don’t-” “THEN LET ME MAKE A DEAL YEAH? FOR ONLY [many] KROMER, YOU MAY STAY IN MY [Privately owned] ALLEY. IT’S A REAL [steal] YOU’RE ROBBING ME [deaf] HERE!” My brows furrowed as I searched his face for any context clues for what the hell he was trying to say. Kromer? What the fuck was ‘kromer’? The only thing I knew of currency down here was dark dollars not kromer... even if he did ask for dark dollars he didn’t name a price, he just said many. And the amount of dark dollars I had was zero. “Uh I don’t have kromer. I don’t even have dark dollars I’m kinda broke Spamton, in case you couldn’t tell from uh...” I trailed off realizing saying that sleeping in an alley wasn’t a very smart thing to say to someone who slept in an alley.  He seemed surprised by my words, beginning to tug on my coat, flipping my pockets to see if I was really lying. I had to push his mitts off me a couple of times, to which he eventually got the idea the way his hands began to rub at his extended jaw. “NO KROMER... WHAT CAN YOU DO?” “What do you mean?” He seemed to sense my change in tone, his grin beginning to wobble nervously “[Whoopsie daisy!] LET ME START AGAIN. DO YOU HAVE A [trade]? A [skill] TO [Exchange for goods and services]?” he croaked. I eyed the ground, rubbing the back of my neck. What the hell was I good at again? “I mean, I can draw, I suppose...” “ARTIST? WOW OWOW!” Spamton’s face lit up before digging in the dumpster, pulling out a few napkins and a ball point pen and shoving them into my hands. “WHAT A [trade] TELL YOU WHAT. YOU DRAW A [one-of-a-kind masterpiece] AND YOU CAN STAY THE NIGHT!” “You’ll let me stay... if I draw something for you on this napkin. Am I getting that right?” The doll nodded feverishly, basically hovering over my shoulder as I played with the pen. This was certainly the weirdest way to pay someone that I could imagine... well no but one that was in the realm of reality. I had to ask Spamton to give me some space a few time, the feeling of his breath on  my neck making me more then nervous as I drew. God he was like those kids in school that would ask for drawings but ten times worse with the amount of personal space he’d give you. Besides I needed something to draw and with nothing on the mind why not draw the most interesting thing in front of me. I held the finished doodle out to Spamton only to have it snatched out of my fingers so fast I swore we could have started a fire. “WOAH...” The puppet sank inside of the dumpster, his face softening  as for once in what seemed like forever the alley way grew silent. “THIS IS... ME?” “Yeah. Sorry I didn’t know what to draw, you kind of put me on the spot. Besides everyone likes drawings of themselves right?” I shrugged, being pulled away from my thoughts by an overdramatic sniffle. Was he... crying? Not quite, just damn well close. Spamton’s shoulders quaked as a warm smile returned to his cheeks, slipping the napkin into his pocket with glee. “SO GOOD... THANK YOU.” “It’s really nothing, honestly that was a pretty shitty drawing.” “WHAT? YOU’RE [&#!^]ING ME! THAT WAS [BIG SHOT]” He was screaming again, hands gesturing wildly about. “It wasn’t but thank you. I wish I was better to be honest. I’m not very happy with my art, not at all.” I turned away from his gaze, unsure of why I was overcome by a choking sensation building my throat.  Why the hell was I telling this stranger this sort of stuff anyway? I mean I could hazard a guess it was the fact that this was the longest conversation I had had with anyone since I had gotten down here but with how things were it could be some magic power the doll possessed to tell him my deepest darkest secrets. “YOU DON’T THINK THIS IS [Big?]” “No.” “WHY NOT?” “I don’t know. I just... I think it doesn’t look the way I want it to. Doesn’t look good to me, and I don’t know how to fix it. Which I guess is a little funny considering how long I’ve been drawing. Just keep... drawing and drawing and never improving, least not how I’d like. It’s just garbage to me.” Spamton’s face seemed to fall, his glasses fading to a dark inky black.  “YOU FEEL? NO GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO? YOUR [passion]?”  “Yeah.” A laugh ripped from his chest, his head lolling back with each chuckle. I felt my soul began to crack, a shame flooding my body with how hard he seemed to laugh. Did he find this funny? Humorous?  I felt tears prick my eyes as I snapped my head back to glare at him, his head glitching back to stare back at me. “YOU’RE JUST LIKE ME, JENNA. A [slime] A REAL [slime]!” With a quick motion the puppet jumped to the ground, his hand resting against my arm as he spoke.  “YOU’RE A REAL [BIG SHOT] YOU KNOW THAT? STAY AS LONG AS YOUR [Greasy little heart] DESIRES!” Well... that was unexpected. He’d really let me stay here as long as I want cause I was pathetic? Or did he just feel sorry for me? What was going on? And why was he calling me a slime... or us a slime?  “Oh... uh thanks? I didn’t think I was being  much of a big shot whatever that is but I apricate it. Really.” His head clacked with every little nod, leading me to a pile of cardboard boxes and patting them with the grace of a car salesman. “BEST [Seat in the house] ALL FOR YOU. [Night night forever]!” Spamton beamed, awkwardly swaying side to side before stumbling back to the dumpster a few inches away and crawling inside of it, much like a wild animal. I couldn’t help but laugh a little. This guy was weird. Kinda creepy but also kind of funny. I honestly couldn’t pinpoint a feeling on him but at least he didn’t want to hurt me just make weird ass deals and make me ‘big’. Did that mean famous? Was this guy so into my art he wanted to be some sort of manager? I rubbed my eyes and let out a yawn, the excitement of the day finally beginning to fade. God I forgot how tired I was, that little guy made me feel like I was gonna go into fight or flight.  “Hey Spamton?” “YES?” his voice echoed from inside the metal container. “...Thank you.”

[secretobsessionstuff]

i’ve missed madix and riley a bunch lately!! so maybe when you’ve got the time (and inspiration ) would you write something for them? maybe with the phrase “hey, you passed out. don’t sit up yet, just relax.” (or something along the lines of rhat) for them? i hope you are staying well & healthy, and happy new year!!!

Sorry it took me so long to get to this prompt. Anyway enjoy this fic that is in no way inspired by my life. 

“I know you’re nervous, but you have to eat something,” Madix said to Riley as they drove into the student parking lot.

It was early, around 8 o’clock in the morning, and neither of them had had breakfast yet. There was a coffee shop inside the building that Madix hoped would have his favourite donut. Next to him in the passenger seat, Riley wiped his sweaty palms on his thighs for the millionth time. Riley was certainly not hoping to eat a donut because his stomach was already queasy from the nerves. It was the master’s thesis presentation day, and he dreaded what was to come. A full day of watching presentations was not appealing, especially since he was the second to last person. Riley wished that he could have been earlier and just get it over with, but instead he had to sit through other people presenting their research.

When Riley didn’t respond – too focused on wiping the sweat on his pants – Madix carried on. “There’s still a while before we all meet in the lecture hall. At least get something to drink.”

So that’s what Riley did. He carefully sipped his tea (coffee would simply make his hands shake more) while Madix ate a decent breakfast. He munched on his donut, forever worried about his boyfriend who looked around nervously. Madix reached his hands across the table to grab onto Riley’s. “It’s going to be fine. It’ll be less than an hour and then you’re done!”

“Forty-five minutes is so long.” That is an ungodly amount of time for one person to talk continuously. Riley thought back to his undergrad thesis that was only 10 minutes and even that was terrifying! He did not want to ramble in front of a whole room for an hour.

“And the whole thing is fantastic,” Madix insisted. “You practiced for me a billion times and it always sounded great.”

“I wish it could just be you in the room.”

“Then just look at me the whole time.”

Riley let out a nervous laugh. He supposed looking at Madix for an hour straight didn’t sound too bad. “Okay yeah, yeah. It’ll be fine. It’s fine.” 

Madix raised Riley’s hands to his lips and gave them a kiss. “It’ll be more than fine.” Then he pushed a donut towards his boyfriend who was looking far too pale that morning. “Now eat something goddammit.”

Later when that donut and tea were sitting uneasily in Riley’s stomach, they all found themselves in the lecture hall. Riley tapped on the table in front of him, waiting for the presentations to begin. The first half of the day wasn’t terrible. The presentations were interesting enough that Riley could forget about his own. Well, his taping fingers and bouncing legs never really forgot about what was to come, but the panic didn’t start until his time slot got nearer. By the time the lunch break came around, Riley’s stress was rising higher. Of course, he completely ignored eating again because the ache in his belly was more than a little stress stomach-ache.

His time slot was next. Every inch of his skin was on fire except for his hands that were cold and clammy. From beneath the table, he felt Madix put his hand over his bouncing leg.

Madix leaned over so that he could whisper. “Please breathe, you’re as white as a ghost.”

Riley wished that he could be a ghost and disappear. Instead, he settled for a trip to the bathroom. Maybe he could flush himself down the toilet. “I’ll be back.”

As Riley stood up from his chair, he needed to catch himself on the desk in front of him. He reached his sweaty palms out to save him from falling forward as the edges of his vision got dark. Whoa, his head felt funny. And God, his stomach felt worse. As if he were drunk, he swayed out of the door. Madix didn’t follow him but that was okay because he needed a moment to himself.

Riley felt like he was dreaming as he walked down the hallway. Once in the bathroom, he braced himself on the sink and tried to take deep breaths. Sometimes he swears that his eyes have dimmers, and in that moment, he thought for sure that someone was dimming the lights behind his eyes.

The darkness didn’t spread luckily, but the nausea was certainly spreading through his body. Oh fuck, he really did not want to be sick just minutes before his presentation. He also didn’t want to risk presenting with a vomit-stained shirt, so he knelt to the floor in one of the stalls.

The still water in the toilet taunted the choppy seas in his own belly. Actually, he wondered how his stomach could have been anything more than a dried-up wasteland. The only thing he ate or drank that day was a donut and a tea. Still, his stomach was mad and didn’t like the stress that ran through his veins.

A harsh gag came up Riley’s throat, but it was dry. Oh God, oh no! He couldn’t believe this was about to happen. His stomach spasmed again but still nothing came up. His chest burned. He didn’t want to do this; he didn’t want to be here. Another gag grated up his throat.

Meanwhile, Madix was getting more concerned with how long Riley had been gone for. The current student was wrapping up his presentation, and then there would only be the question period before it was Riley’s turn. That’s it. Madix left to find his boyfriend.

Madix opened the bathroom door just in time to hear a strangled noise come from one of the stalls. He could see Riley kneeling on the floor. Riley moaned miserably after letting out that choked gag. Madix swore under his breath and mumbled, “Oh deer…”

He stood behind Riley who left the stall door open. He watched as Riley’s shoulders quaked with each empty heave. “Well shit, Ry.”

Riley was too focused on the roiling of his gut to be surprised by Madix’s sudden appearance. He sniffled as snot ran from his nose. “Ugh – I’m sorry.” He coughed which triggered another rough retch. “I can’t. I – hic.”

“Alright, alright.” Madix got to the floor next to Riley and put his hand on the boy’s trembling back. He needed to calm him down before anything worse happened. “Remember to breathe.”

Instead of breathing, Riley decided to make thing worse for him. “Is it my turn yet?”

“I’m not sure…” Madix bit his lip in worry. “How about you focus on calming down before worrying about that.”

Riley really wanted to get up. His time had run out and no one would care that his stomach was in knots. “I have to get back.” A belch burst from his mouth that left saliva dripping from his lips. He wiped it away. He made a move to get up, but a heavy hand stayed on his back. “I haven’t actually puked yet.”

Madix clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “That’s because there’s barely anything in your stomach, baby.” He hated the fact that he could feel the tension in Riley’s muscles. He hated the way Riley’s legs shook as he tried to get up. “You’re hurting yourself.”

“What else am I supposed to do? I have to do this.”

Madix stayed quiet, unsure how to respond. He had no clue what time it was, but he guessed that the lecture hall would be waiting for the next student. Madix sighed and backed up with his hands in the air. “…If you say so.”  

Riley sniffled and stood up with legs that trembled as bad a newborn deer. Once he became upright, those lights behind his eyes flickered for a moment. That dream-like sensation returned and he couldn’t tell which way was up. There came another flicker of his vision before the lights died out completely.

“Riley!” Madix shouted as his boyfriend went limp. The boy’s legs buckled awkwardly, and some unconscious part of Riley’s brain made a last-ditch effort to catch himself before blacking out. His arms came reaching out towards Madix.

“Ah okay, I got you. I got you.” Madix caught Riley before he could fall to the ground. They became a tangle of arms, and Madix wasn’t prepared to untangle the mess. He heard Riley mumbled something in his semi-conscious state, but it was all gibberish. “Shh, You’re okay.” It was good that he only really blacked out for a second.

“Ugh…Madix.” Riley’s eyelids fluttered opened, but soon closed again. There was no way for him to hold his own weight. His head rolled forward onto Madix’s chest as he was being carefully lowered to the ground.

Madix gently sat Riley up against the wall. They were no longer in the stall because Madix had stumbled backwards to catch his boyfriend. He clumsily brought them both to the floor just as Riley’s eyes began to regain clarity. Madix put his hand on Riley’s pale cheek and slightly rubbed his thumb across his dry skin.

“What happened?” Riley mumbled. He squinted in the florescent light of the bathroom and moaned in pain. Everything hurt. His mouth was dry, and the nausea was as persistent as ever. In his disoriented state, the only thing he knew for certain was that his belly was being stirred up. The thumping of his heartbeat was a ticking clock telling him that he was still screwing up. He put his hands on the ground, about to stand, but then he saw Madix’s sweet face.

“Hey, you passed out,” Madix said softly. “Don’t get up yet. Just relax.” He gave Riley’s shoulder a squeeze. His boyfriend really did look awful with dark sunken eyes and a grimace of pain.

Riley groaned and wrapped his arms around his torso. He wanted to say something to Madix, probably sorry or thank you, but the only thing that came out was a wet gag. He followed it with a weak heave, the first one to not be dry. A small amount of pale vomit spilled past his lips and landed on his shirt.

Madix cooed, feeling terrible that his boyfriend had to deal with this. “You’re alright, baby. Let it happen.”

Riley let out a shallow burp that brought with it a thin string of bile and frothy saliva. A hiccupped seized his chest and forced his shoulders forward as another small gush of sick dripped down his chin. Riley wanted to cry but his eyes were too dry. “Ugh, what am I going to do?”

“I’ll tell you what you’re going to do,” Madix said as he ran a paper towel under cold water. He came back with the wet paper and gently wiped Riley’s face. “You’re going to sit here until you feel ready to get up – until you won’t pass out when you try to stand – and then we’ll talk to someone about rescheduling. We’ll see about getting you a more private presentation.”

Riley moaned. “I don’t like any of this.”

“I know you don’t,” Madix said. “I’ll help you fix this. There must be accommodations for mental health.”

That seemed like the best Riley could hope for. He accepted that there was no way he’d be able to go on today. It was irresponsible for him to push himself anymore, and Madix managed to convince him that he didn’t screw anything up. Things happen and most people are understanding.

“However,” Madix began with an intent look, “that doesn’t mean you can just not eat or drink. Like I said, you’re hurting yourself, and I don’t like seeing like this.”

“I know...I’m sorry.”

Madix gave his boyfriend a sad smile. “No need to apologize to me.” 

[retvenkos]

OH. MY. GOD. Lottie, this is amazing!!!!!!! I’m quaking at your talent,,,,,, I’m shook,,,,, ohmygod, where does one even start when complimenting your writing??? Where to begin???

I feel like I have said this once before (and I actually do try to refrain from being a broken record, although you wouldn’t know from the reviews I write), but I feel I simply must applaud you on the way you flesh out the worlds that you write in. The characters always inhabit these multifaceted worlds that are drenched in realism and familiarity, and it never fails to strike me just how easily you incorporate characters of your own fathoming into a piece of already established canon. They’re all side characters and they feel like they belong in the world! Your worldbuilding skills are truly something else. I feel like every time I read a fic of yours, I am actually there and these people are characters from canon, just briefly mentioned and now getting their time to shine. I just,,,, adore how you take liberties with canon, but still ground them so firmly in the reality of the world,,,,,,, it’s enchanting.

And then,,,,, your characters are so cleanly characterized. Everything makes sense. Everything is in character. Everything has reasons behind it and feels genuine (even with the difficult characters like Kaz). And. It’s. So. Crazy. It’s so cool! I don’t know how you do it - I know it goes back to how you ground things in realism, and you use quotes or aspects from the established canon and rework them so they feel new, but still call upon the feelings associated with that canon experience, but it’s still just,,,, beyond me. I am in awe of your ingenuity.

And then, we really have to talk about what you did with the prompts, friend, because !!!!!!! ohmygod???? Not only did you subvert expectations with some of the prompts (don’t tALK TO ME about the “tell me about the stars” prompt i’m an emOTIONAL WRECK—), but you make minor changes to them that not only give them a unique and more personalized feel, but also just drench them in meaning (”whatever that means foR US.” FOR US, LOTTIE.). It’s a joy to hear the prompts in the voice of these different characters, and it made for a really special read as sometimes, I completely forgot that you even chose that prompt, and it only occurred to me afterward, when I looked at the top to remind myself of what you used. The flow of the writing! The organic inclusion of the prompts! I am blown away by your glory.

(And also, Lottie, you gotta stop with the mentions of Jordie,,,,,,,, I am still not over his death,,,,,, and the reader using their deductions skills to figure out who Kaz was talking about had me quaking,,,,, when they mention Jesper and Kaz just flips his shit before breaking down,,,,,,,,, sTOP. NO. I’M NOT EMOTIONALLY READY FOR THIS.)

As a quick recap: you’re blessed with talent beyond the scope of my mortal understanding; I’ve been cut to the bone and won’t recover for the next 48 hours - if anyone needs to find me, i will be sitting on the floor of my bedroom, contemplating the glory of this fic; I’m terribly sorry for making you wait, but I just knew I had to sit down for this, and still, I was not prepared. I was never ready.

rule the world

A/N: This fic was written for my beautiful friend, Olive's (@lxncelot) , writing challenge! After much deliberation and procrastination whereby I spent an hour listening to the songs on her song prompt list, I finally decided upon some prompts... And ended up writing three entirely different fics for them. This is 1 out of 3...

Prompts (all from Olive's dialogue and song prompt list) : 5) “I knew it would end, just… not like this.” | 6) “Tell me about the stars.” | 9) “There’s no turning back, now. | 19“)I want you to be happy. Whatever that means.” | 35) “I don’t want to talk about it.” / “No one ever does, but we do it anyway.” | everybody wants to rule the world — tears for fears

Fic 1 | Fic 2 | Fic 3

Y/N was lying on a stone. She could feel it digging into her forearm and it was beginning to hurt. But she didn't dare move. Not when Kaz was lying on his stomach, not even a foot away. They were so close that if Y/N shifted to the right to remove the stone, she'd brush against his shoulder and ruin the comfortable silence they'd fallen into.

It was all Jesper's fault. In all fairness, a lot of things were Jesper's fault, but the fact that Y/N was spending the next five hours on a stakeout with Kaz and not Inej was definitely Jesper's fault.

'Let's pick names out of a hat', Jesper had said cheerfully, brandishing his hat.

Of course, Y/N had picked Kaz. Kaz hadn't looked too thrilled at the prospect but they'd fallen into a quiet rhythm that meant lying in silence, a pair of binoculars in between them.

"You're a better stakeout partner than Jesper."

Y/N jumped at Kaz's rough voice breaking the silence. "Eh? Why?"

"Why do you think," Kaz drawled, raising his eyebrow as he turned to look at Y/N. "He talks far too much, can't keep still for longer than two minutes and never seems to pay any attention to the target." Kaz turned back to face the front. "You can move that stone, you know."

Y/N cursed silently, leaning to the right, her shoulder brushing the fabric of Kaz'd coat as she flicked the stone out from under her arm.

"Better?"

"Shut up, Kaz."

Kaz's lips quirked up into a smile for a moment. He reached over and picked up the binoculars again, looking through them. "Now, why is Petrov pacing up and down in front of his gates at this time of night?"

"Waiting for someone?"

"That was rhetorical, Y/N, darling."

"Of course it was," Y/N muttered, sighing. She rested her chin against her crossed arms, barely able to see anything through the dark of night - not to mention the giant green bush in front of her.

"Oh, hello." Kaz shuffled forward, his foot tapping Y/N's to get her attention. "We have movement."

Y/N leant closer to Kaz, looking around the bush. "That's an expensive-looking carriage."

"It is indeed," Kaz replied, handing the binoculars to Y/N.

Y/N took them, her fingers brushing against his gloved ones for a moment. "Oh, Saints, that's Madame Orlova."

"I suspected as much," Kaz said, his tone dark. "I noticed the lotus embossed on the side of the carriage.

Y/N watched as Madame Orlova stepped out of the carriage, her dark blue cloak swishing around her as she turned back to look at the occupants of the carriage.

Two girls, only a few years younger than Inej and Y/N, stepped out, wearing pink and white silks, their hair piled on top of their heads with a lotus pin sticking out the top. it didn't take a genius to work out why they were there.

"Kaz, please tell me we're not just going to sit here whilst this happens."

Kaz was silent for a moment. Y/N turned and looked at him, taking stock of his scheming face - eyebrows pulled together, eyes narrowed slightly.

"There are four men guarding the house - the rest of the staff have the night off. Including Petrov, Madame Orlova and the two girls, that's eight people. The guards should be easy enough - take the first two down at the door, the second two down as they guard the bedroom. Madame Orlova... she'll be trickier but one good knock to the head and she's out."

"Petrov? He was a prizefighter."

Kaz turned to look at her, his eyes dark. "How many bullets do you have?"

"Enough."

"One good shot to the head. That's all he needs."

"I thought we needed him for information?"

"No, no, no. That's what Inej and Jesper are doing. I just wanted to see if Petrov was as disgusting as the streets were saying he is," Kaz replied, shrugging. "There isn't actually much point to us sitting here other than to make sure Petrov didn't leave for his warehouse."

Y/N sighed, dropping her head. "I hate it when you do that."

"Everyone does, I'm used to it," Kaz said, smirking. He pushed himself to his knees, wincing slightly. "Now, come along, darling Y/N, I do believe there's a Madame you'd like to fight."

The first two guards had been easy to take down. All it took was for Kaz and Y/N to sneak up behind them, whack them around the head with their respective weapons, and then step over their unconscious bodies.

They'd moved with surprising efficiency - perfectly in sync with one another. It was almost creepy.

"Promise me you won't go in guns blazing when we get to Petrov and Orlova," Kaz said quietly as they walked across the carpeted floor to the back of the house.

"I make no promises, Kaz."

Kaz snatched up Y/N's wrist. He seemed to register what he'd done and quickly let go as if he'd been burnt. "Y/N. You have to trust me - wait until I tell you to move, not before."

Y/N frowned, staring at Kaz. "Do I detect a bit of fondness, Mr Brekker?"

Kaz rolled his eyes. "No. I don't want you ruining my plan."

"Of course you don't, Boss," Y/N muttered, letting out a hefty sigh.

The next two guards stood outside the door to Petrov's private quarters and were just as easily taken down as the first two. Y/N didn't wait for Kaz as she marched down the carpeted hallway, dim and dark since most of the lights were off save a few walls sconces.

Petrov's private quarters were big. But it didn't take long to find the 'room'. Every man like Petrov had a room - Y/N had been in enough of them to know what to look for and how to find it.

Kaz caught up to Y/N and blocked her way with his cane, smacking her in the stomach. "Slow. Down."

Y/N let out an irritable sigh but forced herself to take a deep breath in and calm down. She had to trust Kaz. She had to trust that Kaz knew what he was doing. Which, nine times out of ten, he did. Even if his plans went from B to K faster than Jesper gambled his monthly wage.

The door was locked but Kaz made quick work of the lock, opening it in probably less time than it took to lock it. As it swung open, Y/N was assaulted by incense and felt herself freeze, her mind far back in the past.

But then she got saught of the two terrified girls, sitting on the bed, dressed in sheer silks and golden jewellery. Y/N brushed past Kaz and cautiously approached them, shoving her revolver back into its holster.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Y/N said quietly, crouching in front of them. She unbuttoned the cuff of her shirt and pushed it up, showing off the lotus tattoo that was still engraved into her skin. "I was like you. I'm going to get you out."

"Y/N -"

Y/N turned to look at Kaz over her shoulder, her eyes fierce with determination. "We're getting them out, Kaz."

"You know they will likely bed dead before the week is out."

"Better to die free than to die in chains."

Kaz gave her an almost imperceptible nod, the muscles in his jaw clenched tightly. "Fine."

Y/N pulled out a knife and slice through the fabric tying the girls hands to the bedpost. "Come on, before anyone comes this way."

Kaz stood aside as Y/N lead the girls out the room and into the dim light of the corridor. He followed behind, locking the door so that no one would notice the girls were missing.

"Well, Madame Orlova, you have truly outdone yourself this time."

Y/N and Kaz froze. They could hear Petrov's voice getting closer, the clicking of Orlova's heels like the sound of a bomb waiting to go off.

"Get them out of here," Y/N said, pulling out her knife and twirling it between her fingers.

"Y/N, don't be stupid," Kaz said, standing in front of her, blocking her path. "We don't need to kill them now, we can just go."

She looked at him, meeting his gaze. "Get them to the gates then come back. I'll be fine in the five minutes it takes you."

"We should just leave now, we got what we need," Kaz said, showing off a sealed envelope he must have stolen from the room whilst Y/N freed the girls. "There's no point in fighting Petrov or Orlova - no matter how much they deserve death."

"Do you trust me?"

"No."

Y/N smirked. "Wise."

She didn't wait for Kaz to answer her back as she walked away from him, ducking to the left and into another part of the house. Kaz tried to grab her wrist, to pull her back to him but his fingers brushed her sleeve as she walked away - just out of reach.

The entire house was dark as Y/N walked along the corridors, her footsteps quiet even as the carpet changed to wood. Petrov and Orlova had split up - Petrov had gone to his office at the other end of the house, locking himself away with a bottle of alcohol, presumably to prepare for his evening's entertainment.

Madame Orlova, with nothing left to do but wait, was just wandering the halls, her dark blue cloak still wrapped around her shoulders, the chiffon silk rustling with every step.

The greenhouse was lit up by a few, tiny lanterns dotted around the flower beds. Y/N would have thought it beautiful if it didn't remind her of the Lotus. The pond in the centre of the large, glass room had numerous lotuses floating around, koi fish swimming around underneath them.

Madame Orlova paused, sensing Y/N's presence. "I wondered when you would come back."

Y/N took a slow step forward, the hilt of her knife digging into her palm, reminding her that she was in control of what was happening.

Orlova turned around and smiled. Her black hair was tied up into a tight bun, blue lotuses pinned into it. Her eyes were soft as she looked at Y/N. "My darling, Y/N. You made your way back to me."

"Don't," Y/N snapped, taking a small step back. "Don't. You ruined my life."

"I saved you!"

"No, you didn't! You took me from my family and murdered them! You didn't save me from anything. You ruined me at the Lotus - you watch as men took me and used me. You stand in your office as your girls are murdered so that a man can get off. You save no one, Orlova. All you want is the money."

Orlova tilted her head. "Don't tell me you believe that Dirtyhands saved you. If anything, Y/N, he's walked you to your death. Without him, you would have died a long time ago."

Y/N walked forward, trying to conquer her fear. "I would rather die free than die in silks and chains, Madame Orlova."

"Fine."

Y/N dodged back as Orlova swung at her with a dagger, the blade missing her face by inches. She threw her knife up and caught it, spinning around so that she was behind Orlova. As Orlova turned and came at her, Y/N lurched forward and stabbed her with her knife.

She felt the blood drip onto her hands - the blood of the woman who had ruined her and her life. Y/N looked up at her, taking in the shock on her face.

"You... bitch," Orlova panted, blood staining her teeth. "Don't think... I'll let you live that easily..."

Y/N smiled. "You'll never get to see me die, Madame Orlova. Now, I'd like my knife back."

Y/N pulled the knife out and let Orlova fall to the floor, her blood seeping into the cracks between the tiles, running into the koi pond and beginning to turn the water red.

Y/N looked up at the glass ceiling, staring at the night. She was finally free.

Kaz couldn't deny the relief that went through him as Y/N appeared around the corner, walking down the corridor towards him.

"You're covered in blood," Kaz said, as they walked out of the house.

"I don't judge you whenever you're covered in blood," Y/N muttered, panting slightly. "The girls?"

"They ran as soon as I got them to the gates. I told them where to go if they ever need help."

Y/N looked at Kaz, surprise clouding her features. "Which is where?"

Kaz rolled his eyes. "I don't think I would ever hear the end of it from Inej, Jesper or you if I just let them run with nowhere to go."

Y/N laughed and Kaz just watched her for a moment, trying to memorise her at that moment. She inhaled sharply, suddenly, and reached a hand out for the wall, a hand pressed to her stomach, taking short steps forward as she tried to keep walking.

"Y/N?" Kaz asked, frowning.

Y/N stopped walking. Kaz limped around to face her and put his gloved hand under her chin and tilted it up. Her eyes were glassy as she met his gaze and her skin was pale and clammy. Kaz dropped his eyes to the hand pressed to her side and noticed the blood beginning to drip down from between her fingers.

"Y/N," Kaz repeated, hoping for any sign that she'd heard him. Y/N blinked and exhaled softly, swaying dangerously on her feet. "Can you make it to the rendevous?"

Y/N shook her head, closing her eyes, seemingly regretting the action. Kaz looked over his shoulder, hearing someone approach. It didn't take him long to register the fact that it was Jesper and Inej.

Kaz debated making Y/N walk to meet the other two but as he looked at her again, he knew she was telling the truth and that if he tried to make her walk, he'd end up carrying her. Which was an issue in itself.

Y/N swayed again, her eyes shut. Kaz turned back to her and tapped her face, trying to get her to stay awake. He knew how blood loss worked - everyone in the Dregs did. Kaz had experienced it far too many times and recognised the signs of when it was getting into dangerous territory.

He wrapped his hand around Y/N's wrist. Her pulse was sluggish and weak and her breathing had gone from shaky to fast and shallow.

"Y/N," Kaz said, tapping her face again, feeling her cold skin through his gloves. "Y/N, stay awake. I need you to stay awake, alright?"

Y/N's eyes half-opened and she looked at him, unfocused and confused. "Kaz. You're going to have to catch me."

"What -"

Y/N swayed to the right, losing her balance and falling into Kaz. Kaz dropped his cane and caught Y/N, stumbling slightly at the dead weight in his arms. He awkwardly fell to the ground, cradling Y/N in his arms and desperately trying not to let the ocean drown him.

"Saints, I can't lose you too, Y/N. Please. Hey, hey, stay with me, Y/N," Kaz said, shaking her shoulders. "Y/N, tell me about the stars - tell me anything about them."

"Why... why now? You don't normally listen," Y/N muttered, her words slurring together.

"I'm listening now. What about the one about Vasilka?"

"You don't believe in them, Kaz -"

"I don't but I'm listening."

Y/N's eyes closed. "I knew it would end," she whispered, struggling to get her words out between pained gasps of breath. "Just..."

She trailed off and Kaz shook her again, trying to keep her awake a bit longer. "Just what, Y/N?"

"Just not like this," she said, her voice nothing more than a hushed whisper that came and went like a gust of wind.

Kaz felt Y/N go limp in his arms and the ocean very nearly began to drown him. He looked up as Inej and Jesper appeared, both pausing as they stared at him.

At that moment, Kaz was nothing more than a scared boy, holding onto the one person he couldn't live without. He shifted his leg, bringing Y/N closer to him, her head lolling against his chest. As he spoke, fear overwhelmed him and everything he wanted to say was lost.

"Help me," Kaz said, his voice cracking slightly.

The pile of paperwork was never-ending. Kaz felt as if he'd barely made a dent in it, yet he'd been working on it since early that afternoon. His hand was beginning to cramp up and he was very aware of the fact he hadn't moved for several hours.

Someone knocked on the door. Kaz looked up, already knowing who it was. He'd began to recognise the footsteps of the people who visited his office the most - from Inej's silent footsteps to Jesper's loud and clumsy ones.

But it was the knock on the door that told him who it was, waiting to be let in. Which was why Kaz hesitated for a minute.

"Kaz, I'm coming in either way, whether your say yes or not," Y/N called, her voice slightly muffled by the door.

Kaz rolled his eyes, looking back down at his paperwork. "Come in, then."

Y/N opened the door and walked inside. Kaz had resumed writing, the sound of his pen scratching against the parchment breaking the silence.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," Y/N said, approaching him. "Not like I almost died or anything."

"Unfortunately I can hear you talking, therefore your body is working fine."

Y/N rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I actually thought that you were concerned about me," she muttered, sitting down in the chair that was always opposite his desk. Y/N put her feet up on the desk, ignoring Kaz's sigh of opposition.

"Which one of them sent you up here? Inej or Jesper?

"Both, actually," Y/N, replied, picking a sweet out of the bowl on Kaz's desk and sucking on it.

"I'm fine."

"Kaz, when was the last time you left this room?"

Kaz paused, having to think about it. "Last night."

"Which was what day?"

"Friday."

"Kaz, it's Tuesday."

He looked up, slightly perturbed by that. "Oh."

Y/N sighed, crossing her arms. "Kaz, look, I don't want to do this either but -"

"Then don't," Kaz snapped, glaring at her. "I'm perfectly content to sit in silence and not do this coddling shit."

Y/N stared at him. "Saints, Kaz! Did you lose all your emotions whilst I was bleeding out in your lap?"

"So? What if I did?" Kaz asked, leaning forward.

Y/N narrowed her eyes at him. "I can't lose you too."

"What?"

"That's what you said to me as I lay there, bleeding in your arms, barely conscious. You said 'I can't lose you too'." Y/N paused and looked at Kaz closely, her eyes narrowed slightly. "Too implies that you've already lost someone. I know it isn't Jesper or Inej because they're currently downstairs enjoying my dinner. I doubt it was a member of the Dregs since, well, since you refuse to let yourself get close to anyone. Therefore, using the powers of deduction that, frankly, I didn't know I had until now, it has to be a family member. Surprised you had a family, in all honesty, and that Ketterdam didn't just spit you out in the harbour."

Kaz flinched slightly at that. As Y/N spoke, he was growing more agitated and uncomfortable, the ocean beginning to rise and pull him under once more, sweeping the ground out from under his feet.

"So, in order to have a family, most people tend to have parents - a father or mother. But since you sell yourself as an orphan, I doubt it was your parents. Which leaves me with brother or sister. And from the way you act around Jesper, I'm going to go with brother, since -"

"Enough!"

Kaz slammed his hands down on the table, knocking over a pile of paperwork from the force. Y/N flinched, startled by his outburst.

"You know, if you'd just talked, I wouldn't have been so harsh," she said softly, looking at Kaz as he tried to get his emotions under control.

"I don't want to talk about it," he snarled, pushing himself away from his desk and retreating to the other side of the wall, ducking under the arch.

Y/N, unphased, got up and followed him, leaning against the arch as Kaz took his blazer off and rolled his sleeves up. He all but ripped his gloves off and plunged them under the running water.

"No one ever does, Kaz," Y/N said softly. "Who wants to talk about their trauma and their pain? But we do it anyway." Y/N paused. "If I am to stand any chance of understanding you, I need to know at least something. I don't want to keep trying if there's... if there's no point."

Kaz closed his eyes. His shoulders slumped and he braced himself on the sink. "Jordie," he grounded out, each word forcing him deeper and deeper into the darkness of the sea. "My brother's name was Jordie."

Y/N nodded. "That's all I need, Kaz," she said softly, turning to go.

"I was twelve."

Y/N turned back, startled. "Pardon?"

Kaz turned around, leaning against the basin. "I was twelve when he died. We'd left our family farm after our father died and came to Ketterdam for a new chance. The first few days were everything young me could have wanted. But then the money ran out, we were scammed and... and the plague swept through the city."

Kaz paused, inhaling shakily. He was using all his courage and strength to tell her this. But he knew he had to. Because he trusted Y/N and he wanted to at least try.

"Jordie and I both caught it. He died and I thought I would too. But then I woke up on... on the Reaper's Barge, lying on top of other dead bodies, Jordie next to me. I couldn't do anything as they tipped us into the water..."

Y/N was silent as Kaz paused. He was clutching the edge of the counter tightly, his knuckles white.

"I got to shore and the rest is history," Kaz finished, not wanting to subject himself to the memory any longer. He looked up at Y/N, his eyes haunted. "I lost him, Y/N. I just sometimes feel like I'm in a room where the light can't find me... like I'm in the depths of the ocean once more and there's no escaping."

"I get it," Y/N said softly. "The windowless rooms at the Lotus - I felt as if the darkness might just swallow me up. Now that I'm free I spend every day trying to make the most of my freedom and of the pleasure of just... well, just being free."

Neither one said anything for a moment.

"I want you to be happy," Kaz said suddenly, his voice hoarse. He was staring down at his feet, refusing to meet her gaze. "Whatever that means for us."

Y/N smiled to herself and nodded. "I'm just happy being free for now, Kaz. And you gave me that. I don't need more right now."

Kaz nodded. He looked at Y/N as she stood up and approached him, coming to a stop just a few feet away.

"We're good, yeah?" Y/N asked, hoping she hadn't made things weird.

Kaz tried not to smile. "We're fine. I won't deduct your pay for making me go to therapy."

"Well, if you hadn't locked yourself away, I wouldn't have had to conduct it in the first place," Y/N countered, smiling.

Kaz looked at her as she smiled and wished he could pause time. Because in that instance, she was just so perfect.

Without thinking, he reached out a gloved hand and grabbed the tips of her fingers, holding them lightly. As he held her hands, his walls came tumbling down until they revealed Kaz underneath - an unbroken, pure, innocent Kaz who was still capable of loving someone.

Y/N looked at him, her eyes showing only a slight hint of surprise as he held her hand, their walls tumbling down. She smiled and nodded, understanding what this meant to Kaz. What it meant for them. Even as the walls tumbled into rubble, Y/N stood right behind him, unshakeable and unbreakable.

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Sealed With A Kiss

For @propertyofpoeandbucky‘s 3k Disney Challenge (#iyllas3kdisneychallenge). Congratulations again, hun!

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Reader  |  Word Count: 2505 Warnings: Minor swearing

Prompt: “I have made the decision to trust you.” “A horrible decision really.”  - Tangled

Chaos was erupting all over the base. A ship unlike any you’d seen before had descended from the sky, claiming to be coming in peace only to open fire on the Avengers facility without warning.

The entire team was in action, Tony’s armada of Iron Soldiers on the march, but the strange creatures with their sickly grey skin and bright orange armour were practically immune to bullets and missiles. Their armour appeared to be a type of shielding which protected them from any projectile faster than a fist.

The only ones who didn’t seem to be having an issue were Wanda and Strange.

Their magic ripped through whatever technology these odd invaders were using, but the sheer number of - what you’d mentally started calling safety cone aliens because, let’s face it, they looked like traffic pylons - were making it hard for the two magic wielders to keep up.

The only other person looking like he was enjoying himself was Bruce who’d Hulked out and was currently ripping into the ship high above.

While everyone else was occupied, you raced back inside and down to the secure facility in the basement.

What you were about to do was a terrible idea, but you didn’t feel like there was any other choice.

You needed help. The team needed help.

He was your only option.

Striding down the long narrow hallway, you came to a stop at the door and placed your hand on the palm plate.

“Recognize, Agent (Y/N), access 216KL9.”

The lights around the door turned green, and you walked through when it opened, pacing toward the glowing golden cage. Beyond its barely seen walls sat the aptly named God of Mischief.

“Loki.”

“Ah, darling, (Y/N). Come for a visit?” He blinked innocently before the smug smile curled his devilish lips.

“Considering the ceiling is raining dust down on you, I’m pretty sure you know I’m not here for a social visit.”

Thor had returned with Loki not long ago when the former Prince’s presence had no longer been welcome, nor safe, on Asgard. Loki had gotten in and out of trouble so many times, the people of Asgard had demanded his removal from their realm for not only their sake but for Thor’s as well.

Why he hated his brother so much, you’d never been able to get more than the token ‘he stole everything from me,’ the cop-out Loki used when he didn’t want to admit to what the truth really was.

And you had tried to get him to talk. It was part of your job after all.

Returned to Earth, no one had wanted him running loose on this planet either, and he’d ended up in this magic made cell Thor’s people had created.

You’d been brought in to try and get a read on him. As a profiler for the Avengers, you helped get in the head of killers and psychos all the time, but Loki was an entirely new challenge.

He spoke in quips and insults, half-truths and lies. After months of being locked in this room with him, though you knew he often was playing with you, you also thought he might actually like you a little and respect you for not giving up on him.

You’d also been especially careful to never, ever, call him a monster.

It was how he referred to himself on more than one occasion, and possibly the most honest interaction you’d ever had. Loki believed he was a monster, and so a monster he had become.

It saddened you.

He wasn’t a monster. Yes, he’d done some rather atrocious things, killed quite a few people, but that didn’t make him a monster, only a pawn in someone else's end game.

Through weeks and months of misdirection and sarcasm, you’d come to know him quite well. He loved Frigga, and her death had broken a piece of him.

He loved Odin, too. Even when he spoke with vitriol and spat curses on his name it was only because he blamed his adopted father for not allowing him to see Frigga, to be there when they sent her into the stars.

He admired Thor even as he refused to admit it, and envied what his brother took for granted.

As you’d known Thor for some time as well, you thought perhaps Loki was trying to fool himself when it came to his brother. The King of Asgard was not the brash, quick to temper male Loki claimed he was. Maybe he had been, but Thor had grown up, gone through a lot of the same terrible things Loki had. He’d had to come to terms with his only brother betraying him constantly. That would be enough to mature anyone.

Still, now was not the time to be analyzing the brother’s relationship. You’d come here for a reason.

“Do you know anything about the creatures attacking us?”

Flopping down on the wide chair he liked to use when speaking with you, Loki reclined casually against one arm before throwing his leg up over the opposite. He looked bored, but you could tell he wasn’t. It was all an act to appear superior.

The cell was furnished no different than a studio apartment would be, complete with bed and private bath. He was a prisoner, but a well-kept one.

“How am I, a prisoner, to know anything? Can I see through walls to what is attacking you?”

Rolling your eyes, his shenanigans not needed, you muttered, “Pasty grey skin and some kind of orange armour. It’s bulletproof but not magic resistant.”

He rolled his head back on the chair. “Hm. Not ringing any bells.”

“Cut the crap, Loki.”

His eyes drifted your way, smile twitching his lips before he grinned and dropped his foot to the floor. “Testy today, aren’t we?”

“I don’t have the time for these games.” Turning on your heel, you marched for the door.

“Wait!” he called out, lurching to his feet only to tuck his hands behind his back and try to look uninterested when you paused. “They call themselves the Morin-gata. I came across them when I… fell.”

“From the Bifröst?”

“Yes.” He turned to glare at the wall, but keep an eye on you.

“And did you have problems with them?”

He snorted. “I would think not.”

“Why?” you asked returning to stand mere inches from the shimmery gold cell wall.

In an instant he was before you, the same distance from the wall you were, but it no longer made you flinch. You were used to his abruptness.

“Because, my dear, I am a GOD!” he roared, arms lifting to the ceiling as the lights flickered off.

The golden glow of his cage was much more present now you were in the dark. “Shit… they must have caught the power grid!” Only the panel beside his cage and the door in the wall remained lit up, running on their own power sources.

“Hm,” Loki huffed. “Pity. Scurry off, little mouse. Runaway and assist your team.”

You stared after him, noting the disappointment in his eyes when he returned to his bed and flopped down upon it. “Evidently you weren’t listening. I’m no good to my team without a gun. I’m not some enhanced mortal, Loki. If I go back out there, I’ll likely end up dead.”

He froze, then materialized back before you. “Then stay, darling. I’ll protect you.”

“Why?”

He blinked. “Excuse me?” 

“Why would you protect me?”

Shrugging, he tried to brush off his slip of the tongue. “You’re an intriguing Midgardian.”

“So you like me.” You grinned wide.

“I didn’t say that,” he scoffed, but his lips twitched.

Rocking up on your toes, you snickered until another explosion had a chunk of concrete ceiling coming down beside you.

Yelping, you jumped to the side where the panel to release him from his cage was located. “How did you deal with the Morin-gata!?”

He was still glaring at the chunk of concrete when he answered. “They fear those with magic, therefore, they feared me.”

“Because you are oh so powerful?”

“My darling, (Y/N),” he lifted his head, tilted it to the side, and smiled when he looked at you. “You have no idea.”

Making up your mind, you nodded. “I have made the decision to trust you.”

“A horrible decision really.”

Sending him a condescending glare, you slammed your hand down on the panel. “Recognize, Agent (Y/N). Access 216KL9. Release the barrier.”

“Access denied.”

“Excuse me?” you muttered, staring at the panel in shock.

“Access denied.”

“It seems you cannot let me out. How unfortunate.” Shrugging, Loki wandered back to his chair.

“Computer, list those who can release Loki from confinement.”

“Thor. Captain Steve Rogers. Tony Stark,” the computer responded in its monotone voice.

“Well, they’re a little busy at the moment!” you snapped. “Override! Emergency protocol Alpha 657 Charlie Tango Whiskey.”

“Override denied.”

“What!?” That couldn’t be. No door, nor cell would remain locked under that protocol.

“Sorry, darling. It appears I get to sit this one out.” Smirking, Loki threw both legs up over the arm of his chair.

“Damn it, Loki! This isn’t funny!”

“Actually, I find it quite amusing,” he chuckled.

You made to give a quippy retort when the ceiling cracking above you grabbed your attention. Before you could fully lift your eyes to it, it gave way.

“No!” Loki shouted.

One moment you thought you were dead, the next, you were wrapped in Loki’s arms near the door, his front plastered to your back.

“What… the… hell!” you screeched.

“Mmm…” he snickered. “Oops?”

You elbowed him in the ribs. “You lying sack of shit! You’ve been able to get out of there all along?”

Loki barely even grunted. “It seems so, doesn’t it?” Dragging you closer, his face soon found its way to the skin of your throat where he inhaled greedily. “So this is what you smell like. Exquisite!” he growled.

You didn’t want to admit how badly he made your thighs quake, or how the faint scent of sensual musk wafting from him smelled divine. “Loki…”

Again the building shook, more debris coming down on your heads.

Twisting to look at him, you found blue-green eyes full of curiosity looked back. “Help us.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“What do you want?” Those same eyes turned sharp, calculating, and you wondered if you’d made a mistake.

“Freedom.”

“I think you’ve already accomplished that.” You tilted your head toward the cage he was no longer inhabiting.

“Indeed. Then what more have you to offer me I cannot just take for myself?”

“Isn’t taking things which don’t belong to you what put you in there in the first place?”

“Hm, are you being cheeky, pet?”

“Stating a fact.”

A shimmer of green and gold washed over him, changing his attire from simple tunic and breeks to leather and metal. Black on black, a hint of gold and green here and there, a cape snapped at his heels, and the horned helmet appeared on his head. “There is one thing I desire which I could take, but will be even more rewarding if it is given freely.”

“Oh? What’s that? I can guarantee no one is going to hand you the Earth no matter if you help or not.”

He smiled, a look so wicked, so intense, so… hot you felt your panties dampen. “I want you.”

“Wh-what?”

“No cameras, no recording devices, no observers. Just you, (Y/N), and me.”

You stared at him, stunned. “Why?” you were finally able to ask.

He spun you around so swiftly, you were incapable of resisting. Strong hands lifted you up, a hard body pinned you against the door, and you found yourself less than an inch from his face.

“You sit beyond my cage day in and day out, asking questions, forever picking away at my psyche. Do you honestly think I would not find you intriguing?” His thigh thrust between yours, holding you up so his hands could delve into your hair. “You ask these insufferable questions, then sit with the patience of a mountain, unmoving, waiting on an answer I do not wish to give. I deny you access, yet you still pull truths from my head I had no wish to discover. You strip me bare, little mortal, and think I will not take retribution? That I will not seek penance from you in some way?”

Floundering, feeling very out of your depth when faced with the strength of the implacable Asgardian, you slowly licked your lips. Mouth dry as sandpaper, you whispered, “And… what will that be… my penance?”

His hands tightened in your hair to the exact point when pain and pleasure mixed. “I will repay you in kind. As you stripped me bare, so will I strip you.” His eyes moved down, took in the cleavage laid bare by the opening of your top.

It wasn’t like you’d had any warning, nor time to get suited up. Everyone had grabbed what weapons they could and bolted into the fray.

But the heat of Loki’s gaze caused a fire to light inside you. Swallowing to wet your mouth, you asked, “And then?”

His eyes snapped up, widening at your lack of fear before a wicked light gleamed to life in those blue-green orbs. “And then, sweet, delicious, (Y/N). I shall take my penance in the coin of pleasure, and you will scream my name, beg for me, plead with me until I am satisfied… or Ragnarok comes.”

His mouth had drifted closer to yours with each word until there was barely a hair of space between you. With the lust on his face, the heat of his thigh wedged firmly between yours, and the way his breath washed over your lips, you could only give a helpless whimper.

“Do you accept my terms?”

You made to nod only to have your head held motionless by the tight grip of his hands.

“Words, pet. Give me your word.”

“I… accept.”

You expected him to release you, or smile in triumph, but his eyes softened as he closed the distance between you instead.

The brush of his nose against yours came first. A tentative caress while his hot breath tickled your lips. It nudged at you, causing your mouth to fall open on a quiet gasp and moan. Lips parted, he gently licked the plump flesh of your bottom lip, nipped it with a softness yet unseen when it came to the God of Mischief. Teeth bit down, tugged, pulling the flesh between his lips where he played with it until you groaned and skimmed your hands up his chest.

“A bargain made and sealed,” he whispered, “with a kiss.”

When he finally pressed his lips fully to yours, every thought you had flew straight out of your head. All but one.

It was a bargain you were happy to make.

-The End-

[squirrelly831]

Long Distant Girlfriend Pregnant [Seokjin and Yoongi]

This is part of the daddy!au. Basically an alternative to how they became dads. So the ocs are the same people they are married to in the au :D

Some of these are canon and I’ll let you know which ones are. In this part Yoongi’s is canon.

Enjoy~

Seokjin

Naeun let out a sigh of relief as she exited baggage claim with two months worth of necessities in the suitcases behind her. She was back in her home country and she was so excited to be home. She looked about for her family who were supposed to pick her up.

“I’ll take these” a hand reached out and took her luggage from her. Naeun was about to decline the offer when she turned to see her boyfriend of five years, Seokjin, in front of her with a radiant smile. “Welcome hom—“

Naeun ignored his greeting as she jumped up and hugged him. Seokjin let out a chuckle as he held her close to his body and his head pressed against her vanilla smelling hair, “I missed you!”

“I missed you more.” He pulled back to see her promise ring glisten under the sun’s rays. He took her hand and pressed a kiss to it, “Your family is waiting at home, come on.” He lead her from the airport neither phased by the fans who took pictures and gossiped.

The night before Naeun was set to leave, Seokjin and her spent one last night together. It wasn’t unusual that they didn’t use a condom. She was on the pill and they wouldn’t see each other for about five months. He was about to head off to tour and Naeun had another semester left of the institute she attended in Paris. They just wanted to be as close as two people could be in that moment not thinking of any consequences.

It had been a month since her trip to Seoul. Naeun had dealt with terrible nausea and morning sickness, but didn’t suspect being pregnant until the month passed and her period didn’t assault her. After pressure from her dorm mate, she bought several pregnancy tests that only confirmed lingering suspicions when she saw the two lines.

Naeun was glad that her dorm mate was there when the tests gave her a positive reading. She crumbled to the bathroom floor and cried which alerted her dorm mate who ran to the bathroom to see Naeun sobbing. She was scared, but excited. Seokjin was the only man for her, but he wasn’t just hers. He was BTS’s. He was his fans. How could she tell him about the pregnancy when he already had so much on his plate? What about her university? She was so close to graduating and she couldn’t take off when the finish line was right under her nose. Naeun, against her dorm mates advice, decided to silence her communication from Seokjin for the first month after the discovery. She wanted to figure out what to do. Abortion was out of the question, but she wasn’t sure if Seokjin would want to raise a child when he’s so busy.

A knock broke her thoughts. She looked up from her textbook as a second knock echoed, “Coming” she called out. Naeun crawled out of bed where there was piles of notes and recipes for her project. She swung open the door expecting her dorm mate to be outside with an excuse of losing her key, but her heart stopped when the door revealed her boyfriend. “Seo-seokjin?” Her voice squeaked as she stared at him.

Seokjin walked past her with a solemn look and entered her dorm, “You may want to shut it before the others see who I am.” Naeun said nothing as she gently shut the door and locked the bolt. His back was still to her as he tried to formulate what he wanted to say to her. The moment BTS landed in Paris, Seokjin grabbed a taxi and went straight to Naeun’s dorm. His mind had been on her for the past month since Naeun began to ignore him. He tried to figure out what happened and what made her shut him out, but couldn’t come up with anything to cause her silent treatment. He walked into the living room as he glanced around for just moments as he heard his girlfriend trail close behind. With a clenched jaw, Seokjin turned to Naeun, “Why have you been ignoring me? What did I do wrong?”

Naeun gnawed at her bottom lip as she tried to think of the words to say. Her hands tugged and twisted the bottom of her sweater as her eyes blurred. She choked on her words as she finally spoke up, “I’m sorry…” Alarmed, Seokjin ushered Naeun close to him and held her in his arms. “I didn’t mean for it to happen…” Her hands were pulled off her sweater and Seokjin wrapped them in his own.

“Baby–Jagiya–talk to me… What happened?” With how upset she was, Seokjin had expected her to confess to cheating.

Naeun pulled away from Seokjin and wiped her face, but her tears continued to fall. “You’re going to want to sit down.”

Seokjin sank to the love seat, his eyes focused on a picture of him that Naeun had framed in the living room. He couldn’t face her, not when he was prepared for something like–

“–nant.”

Seokjin’s ears tuned in at the last second and he looked over at Naeun who looked like she was seconds from collapsing where she stood. “What?”

“I’m pregnant… 2 months now…” Her legs quaked, “I didn’t know how to tell you–you’re an idol, a really famous idol, and we’re not married. And I–” a tear fell as she watched Seokjin’s head turn to face forward again. He said nothing as she stood there ready for everything to fall apart.

Seokjin’s lips parted into a smile as his eyes fluttered back to his panicked girlfriend. There was nothing but love in his eyes, “Come here…” He opened his arms and Naeun nearly collapsed in his arms as her legs gave just as she went to sit by him. He kissed the top of her head as her face pressed in his chest. Sobs echoed in the room as Seokjin combed his hand through her hair, “Shhh, it’s okay. You must have been so scared and pressured dealing with this alone” he cooed. “You’re not alone anymore, okay? I’m here for you-both of you. I love you.” Seokjin wanted to reassure Naeun she wasn’t going to be alone in the pregnancy. Once she was calm, Seokjin knew they would need to talk about what their next steps would be. His main concern was their relationship and the wellness of Naeun and their baby.

Yoongi

When Katelyn and Yoongi were outed by media about their relationship, it didn’t go too well for them. Especially for Katelyn. She was some non-Korean foreigner who didn’t fit the ideals of Korean beauty and just dated Yoongi for his money. Katelyn never fought the hate that she got because it came with the territory of dating a man who was world wide famous. However, Yoongi did and went as far as press charges against those who threatened to spread malicious rumors against her.

Their relationship wasn’t a perfect one. She had dated him for a good 3 years and it had its share of bumpy roads. However, even with the bumpy roads, Yoongi never let Katelyn call it off. He was the most sensible of the two. The rational thinker than Katelyn who acted off her emotions. Yoongi refuses to let her walk out of the relationship without sitting and discussing it even if it meant taking a night away from each other. It was his determination that kept the two together and Katelyn learned to communicate better to make them work.

However, neither of them expected their relationship to turn long distance, but while she helped her parents settle back in her home country, Ireland, Katelyn’s father took a stumble off a ladder and hurt himself. She extended her stay much to Yoongi and her disappointment. But Yoongi understood the situation, Katelyn was the only child and she knew her parents didn’t have family in Dublin. So, while she stayed, she decided to transfer to the nearby university to attend her classes that she was still in back in Seoul.

Katelyn didn’t expect to see Yoongi for a few more months. He was on a break before a tour and she was overwhelmed with finals. She made plans to go out to see him during the break, but she was surprised when she returned home to see Yoongi on her couch with her parents. She was ecstatic to see her boyfriend who went up to Dublin to spend some of his off period with her.

It had been two months since that day. It was the last time she saw Yoongi in person as he went on tour. It was also they last time they were intimate with one another which lead her to this moment.

Katelyn’s mother squeezed her shoulder as she read the test results, “You’re pregnant–” her mother stood there for a moment as she absorbed the information. “BRADAN, WE’RE GOING TO BE GRANDPARENTS!” Her mom hollered as she ran to her husband.

Katelyn’s mouth felt dry as she read over the pregnancy test for the fifth time. She was pregnant. “Holy shit…” She cursed herself for telling Yoongi not to wear a condom. For her not thinking of the consequences of that night. She thought back of the backlash she received just from the dating scandal. That would be nothing compared to the shit they’d receive if the news got out about her pregnancy.

After discussing it with her parents and Yoongi’s parents, Katelyn decided it was best to return to Seoul. Yoongi would be home in the next month and they could decided where their relationship would go from there. However, she was scared of what would come of this pregnancy. Would Yoongi want to stay with her? Would he want to deal with a child? Katelyn knew the answers to both of those, but her mind played devil’s advocate. She refused to tell Yoongi of the pregnancy until she saw him when he came back on tour. It wasn’t something she was willing to talk about over phone or text.

By the fourth month of her pregnancy, Katelyn had readjusted back in Seoul. She returned to her old apartment, transferred back to her old university, and picked up a job at the nearby daycare. She got a text from Yoongi to let her know that he had arrived back to Seoul. Her hands shook, she hadn’t even gotten around to tell him she was back in Seoul. Katelyn let out a shaky breath as she sent a text asking for them to meet up which Yoongi immediately replied with pure excitement.

Once her work let her out, Katelyn hopped in a taxi and headed to her apartment to see Yoongi, Jimin, and Taehyung outside. She swallowed hard as she approached them, “Hey” she stuttered. “What’re all you guys doing here?”

Yoongi gave her an apologetic look, “They insisted on coming… Sorry.”

“We wanted to see you! We didn’t know you moved back” Jimin grinned.

Taehyung looked her over noticing her stiff expression. Katelyn glanced back at her best friend and her eyes dropped. His eyes followed her gaze down her stomach and a flicker of realization hit him. His lips fell as he nudged Jimin, “We didn’t mean to interrupt. We just really wanted to say hi, so we’ll head back to the dorm.” Taehyung gave a boxy smile. Jimin went to protest, but Taehyung grabbed his arm and pulled him away. As they walked passed Katelyn , Taehyung hugged her, “Congrats. He’ll be really happy. Relax” he whispered. He let her go and winked at her as he watched her shoulders relax.

Once the two were alone, Yoongi noticed how scared she looked. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

Katelyn sucked in a breath, “Can we talk?” She noticed a concern look cross his face.

Yoongi straightened as he nodded, “Sure.”

Katelyn walked to her door and pulled out her keys to unlock her front door. She opened it wide for him to follow her. Her blood pulsed in her ears as she vaguely heard the door shut and lock. Her heart hammered against her chest.

“Katelyn.” Her name shocked her back to reality. Yoongi stood in front of her with a worried expression etched on his face as he looked at her, “What’s wrong? You’re worrying me.”

“I-I–” she shook as she sucked in a breath. “Damn it, I told myself I can’t get panicked–” His eyebrow rose as he watched her. “Well–When you surprised me in Dublin–that night we didn’t have protection and–” she ran her hand in her hair.

Yoongi looked off to the side as he thought on it, “You’re pregnant?” He guessed. She looked down and nodded prepared for the worse. Yoongi took a seat on the couch as he took in the information, “That’s why you suddenly moved back to Seoul.” He had his hand over his face and Katelyn’s   heart dropped. Suddenly he let out a laugh, “Thank god.”

“Wha-what? How is this a thank god moment? Am I missing something? I’m pregnant! We’re not married. Your fans hate me.”

Yoongi’s hand fell into his other and he rubbed them together, “I thought you were going to leave me. I was not ready to fight you on that.” His hand raked through his hair, “Fuck, we’re having a kid. Fuck that sounds so surreal. Do our parents know?”

“Yea…” Her eyes mirrored her cautiousness. “I’m sorry, am I missing something. You’re not shocked or mad.”

“Oh, I’m shocked” he laughed. “We totally fucked up not using protection, but what’s done is done.” He held out his hand and she took it. He pulled her on his lap and his hands fell on her stomach and waist, “I’m sure you’ve been stressed out about this.” His voice fell an octave as he spoke, “But we’ll handle this. Together.” His hand traced her stomach, “My real fans will be happy for us. I won’t let anyone hurt you. If getting married now will make you feel better we can.”

“We’re not even engaged.”

Yoongi looked up at her, “Fuck engagements. I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I want to be with you the rest of my life. I don’t give a fuck about some engagement.”

Katelyn’s eyes watered as she leaned down and wrapped her arms around his neck. Yoongi held her tightly to him. “Why are you so smooth with your words?” her voice cracked as she let out a laugh. “I was so scared you’d be mad.”

“It takes two to make a kid, Kat. I couldn’t get mad at you for that. I’ll talk to Namjoon and the others so I can take some time off to be with you.” Katelyn pulled back to protest, but Yoongi shook his head. “I want to be here for the rest of the pregnancy and birth. I love you. I want to be with you through this, okay?”

Katelyn nodded as tears slipped down her face, “Okay…” She pecked his lips as a smile grew on her face, “But you’re not skipping our engagement. I’ve been looking forward to your proposal and you’re not ruining that for me.”

Yoongi’s head fell back as he let out a loud gut laugh, “Damn, you’re bossy. I guess I can do that.”

Part II | Part III

Credit to gif owners

Written & revamped by Squirrelly831

♕ REQUEST

☮ BTS MASTERLIST

∞ ULTIMATE MASTERLIST

[seokjingiggles]

Full Speed Ahead

genre: fluff, angst

member: jimin

words: 2779

Wild animals can have bigger hearts than humans.

I had a lot of fun creating this and I would love to do more requests hehe :)

Again, thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy it! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

What began as a minor quarrel at dinner escalated into a monstrous fit of yelling, insulting, and slamming doors within minutes. You were enjoying a romantic steak dinner with your boyfriend when you brought up “the topic” for the millionth time this week.

“Jimin, it's not that I think you don't love me anymore. It's just that you leave before I even wake up and come home an hour before I fall asleep. I literally have you for just an hour a day. I'm your girlfriend, aren't I? Don't I deserve a little more of Park Jimin than your stupid band?”

Being needy was one thing, but bashing his best friends was something Jimin could not and would not tolerate. Ever.

Jimin abruptly stood up from his chair, not bothering to push it back in. He glared at you with stone cold eyes as he stormed closer to you.

“Call them stupid one more time.” His voice sliced through the air.

You knew you were getting into dangerous territory, but to be honest, you were tired of his bullshit and stubborn enough to not consider what you were getting yourself into. 

“If you think seven boys singing a bunch of lousy songs for eleven year old girls is more important than spending quality time with your girlfriend, then yes. Your band is very stupid.” You crossed your arms in defense to conclude your first move.

Fury flashed across his already flaming expression. He menacingly hovered above you and stuck a finger in your face, just inches from your widened eyes. Maybe you were going overboard.

“You don't think I try to come home sooner? You don't think I work my ass off in that practice room so I have more time to be with you? You don't think the company hates me for lying about sick days? You don't think the fans despise me because of you? I go through a lot of shit for you, Y/N. And if you’re stupid enough to not realize that and be thankful, then you can leave. I've only been good to you. What have I gotten in return? Nothing.”

You pressed a hand against his chest and pushed him away. He was exaggerating things just so he could be right. He was trying to put all the blame on you and it was time to defend yourself. You smacked his finger out of your face. Jimin looked as if steam was spewing out of his ears.

You narrowed your eyes and snarled, “Are you fucking blind? I iron your clothes, wash the dishes, clean the house, do the laundry, buy the groceries, make breakfast, lunch, and dinner, take out the trash, wash the windows, vacuum the floors, and I even bring you homemade lunch every day! I call your parents when you’re disgusting enough to not want to talk to them. You haven’t seen them in two years and your mother cries every time she calls because she misses you. She asks me how you’ve been but I can never tell her the truth. I don’t even know myself and I fucking live with you! I guess I’m the servant of the house based on how you’re treating me. Definitely not your girlfriend that shares a life with you. Next time, I’ll tell your mom that you’re doing just fine. Neglecting your family, spending all of our money, wrecking the house, staying up late doing who knows what. Yeah, she’ll definitely appreciate that from the son she worries so much about.” You were breathing hard and Jimin’s chest was heaving from bottled up anger. He was smoldering and you didn’t want to hear any more of his bullshit excuses. You walked straight past him and locked the bedroom door behind you, making sure to slam it hard enough to make the chandelier tremble. You stood with your back against the door. Rubbing your eyes with the palm of your hands, you knew you had taken it too far. 

Jimin’s hasty footsteps thrashed towards the bedroom. The door shook as he pounded a fist against it.

Clearing his throat he snarled, “You've always been a slutty, needy bitch. I can't even remember the last time I enjoyed having sex with you. Hell, I despise kissing you. You talk about Jungkook way too much to “just be friends.” I've seen how you look at him. I've seen how your eyes glide across his muscles. I’ve seen how you shamelessly bite your lip when he talks to you. You never look at me that way anymore...And you're telling me you miss me? I'm such a dumbass for ever believing in your bullshit. You never loved me and I wasted so much time and money on you. I deserve better than scum. Get the fuck out of my life. I can't even breathe right knowing I'm in the same building as you. Go fuck yourself.”

And with that, he grabbed his coat and left the apartment, shutting the door with enough force to make the entire apartment quake. You jolted as a picture of Jimin and you fell and shattered on the ground. That was the first Christmas present you had ever given him. Your back slid down the door until your butt plopped on the floor. The tears you had been holding back for the past few weeks had finally defeated you. You sobbed loudly into your hands, wailing apologies and yelling at yourself for being so selfish and vile. You felt enraged and hurt. This was really it. Jimin had left for good this time. His piercing words lingered and made your head throb. He was right. He didn’t deserve you. He deserved someone who understood his busy schedule and accepted him for who he was. You felt sick to your stomach and ran to the toilet to retch in the bowl. You winced when you saw your complexion in the mirror. Your makeup was smeared all over the place, your hair was a tangled wreck, and your eyes were red from bawling tremendously. You had to avert your gaze from the mirror, too disgusted in yourself. 

It was time to move on.

You didn’t want to be this person any longer. You didn’t want to be the girl always waiting for someone else. You wanted to be with someone who wanted you, who needed you. You wanted to share love with someone so strong that nothing could wear it down. Park Jimin wasn’t that someone.

You packed a hefty duffel bag with various clothes and possessions. This time, you didn’t bother to wash the dishes or clean up the broken glass from the picture frame. The last thing you did before you left the apartment was write Mrs. Park’s phone number on a piece of paper that you stuck to the fridge. Jimin never bothered to save his own mother’s contact in his phone.

As you waited for a cab to pick you up, you took several long, deep breaths. You had no idea what the hell you were doing. You didn’t have any family in the city and most of your friends were also friends of Jimin’s. You didn’t want anything to do with him right now so you were on your own. You checked the time on your phone. It was getting pretty late and the city wasn’t getting any warmer. You rubbed your hands together as you saw two beams of a car’s headlights scythe through the air. Your cab arrived.

“Hello there. Do you need any help with your bags?” the driver said as he turned his head to face you.

“No, no. I’m fine, thank you.” You placed your duffel bag next to you and let your hands rest in your lap.

The cab driver sensed your weary tension and smiled kindly. “Alrighty then. Where to this late at night?” 

You hadn’t thought this far yet. Looking through the window at the moon, you concluded that you would figure everything out in the morning. “Just get me away from here. I don’t care,” you murmured and rested your head against the window.

The man sighed and started the engine. He seemed nice enough. You hoped he wouldn’t ask anymore questions about you.

The ride commenced with ease. You closed your eyes and set your mind free. You ignored the pestering responsible portion of your brain that refused to stop blaring at you to go back. You fell asleep, careless of everything, ignorant of the world around you, and oblivious to Park Jimin.

Within an hour, Jimin was back at your shared apartment. He originally had planned to see his friends, go out for drinks, and not worry about the next step. But when he pulled into their dorm’s driveway, he realized that he had taken your car keys on accident. His fingers fondled with the pink Apeach character keychain he gave you for Christmas three years ago. Jimin was pretty terrible at giving sentimental gifts, but you loved his first Christmas present all the same.

What the hell am I doing? She must be devastated. I shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t have said those things. What is wrong with me? 

Jimin bolted home and scurried up the stairs to the third floor of the apartment complex. He was already crying imagining how hurt you must have been. He felt so shitty for everything he had said, everything he had done. Unlocking the door and bursting in, Jimin said, “Y/N, I’m so so so sorry for everything. I didn’t mean any of it...Y/N? Where are you? Y/N??” 

His hands were shaking as he turned the knob to your bedroom. You weren’t there and all of your clothes were missing. Not wanting to believe what was happening, Jimin tore through every room, every closet, searched behind every door, ran down the hallways asking the neighbors if they saw you, and called all of his friends begging to tell him where you were. He trudged back to his apartment empty-handed and crying. He lost you. You were gone and you were never coming back. Jimin messily ran his fingers through his hair and screamed your name at the top of his lungs with no response. He stomped his feet and dug his nails into his arms in frustration. Why did he do it? Why did he spit out such horrid lies at you? Why was he such a ravaging beast? You were right. Jimin didn’t care about anyone. He wasn’t considerate of his actions and he didn’t have the heart to tell his mom he was dying on the inside because he had so much love to give you but with so little time each day. He didn’t know how to tell you that he was tired. Tired of having to put on a smile everyday to please his fans. Tired of leaving when it’s still dark out and coming home just to kiss you goodnight. He hated putting you in this situation. You deserved so much more than what he could offer. And now, he couldn’t give you anything.

Jimin collected himself enough to sit down and text you. He couldn’t pour out his heart through texts but he tried anyway. He left you hundreds of texts and voice messages confessing things that he was too shy to say aloud. You didn’t respond. His heart broke at the realization that he was nothing to you anymore.

You woke up to the screeching of tires and your head almost hitting the car seat in front of you. You yelped in shock as you saw what made the cab stop so abruptly. Two deer, a male and a female, jumped, just feet away from the vehicle. You watched in awe as the male deer licked his mate’s ear as she searched him for wounds. Seconds later, they scurried off the road and into the darkness. Ironically, it was the most humane behavior you had witnessed today. They looked out for each other. The animals blindly ran into the road, unknowing and naive, and mercilessly faced death. But it didn’t matter because they did it together. They shared a bond so intimate that they were willing to risk it all for their love. They suffered together and cleaned each other’s wounds. And in the end, they ran off, untouched, and even more in love.

You checked your phone.

479 texts and 24 missed calls from Park Jimin

He loved you, and you loved him.

“Stop the car!” you hissed, hot tears forming around your eyes.

The driver swiftly hit the brakes and turned to face you. He was grinning, as if he knew what you were about to request.

“I’m sorry, but can you take me back to where you picked me up? I don’t know where we are and I wanna go home. I love him and miss him and wanna kiss and hug him. I wanna  be in his arms and cuddle up until we fall asleep, his hand around my waist and my hand stroking his hair. I wanna see him again and tell him how much I regret saying all those things and leaving him. I wanna forget about all this and start over. I wanna tell him everything’s okay and that his mom loves him. I wanna be with him forever and the thought of him being alone, thinking that no one wants him will kill me unless I see him again. Take me home.”

The poor driver blinked with wide eyes. In his twenty-three years of working as a taxi driver, he had never seen a girl empty her heart teeming with that much love before. He spun the car around and raced home, full speed ahead.

You thanked the driver and handed him whatever cash you had on you. You bustled out of the car and practically threw yourself into the apartment complex. If you didn’t get to him soon, your heart was going to burst.

You fumbled with the keys in your sweaty hands. They slipped and you reached down to get them. As you crouched down, you heard crying from the other side of the door. Hand on the doorknob, you took a deep breath. What did you do in your past life to deserve Jimin? You started the fight that made him decompose.

You heard his faint, quivering whispers from inside. “Why, God...I’m begging you. Y/N. Please come back. I can’t live without you. I can’t...”

You found yourself inside the living room, walking as fast as you could, beelining towards him. His face was in his hands and his shoulders were shaking. His toes were curled and his disheveled hair stuck out in all directions. He looked up at the sound of the creaking floorboards. Jimin’s face was red and blotchy. You shrunk at the sight of his condition.

Unsure if you were really standing in front of him, Jimin hesitated and stood up quickly. He wiped his nose and made desperate eye contact with you. Your eyes watered.

“I’m sorry,” you both uttered at the same time.

You paced towards him and clutched his hands. “Jimin, it was my fault. I had no right to confront you about something I know you can’t do anything about. I was just frustrated and lonely because I barely get to see you anymore. What the hell was I thinking walking out on you like that? You must’ve been worried sick. My heart aches just imagining you sitting here by yourself crying, thinking that you fucked up, even though I’m the one to blame.” You searched deep into his eyes, your look telling him things you couldn’t muster to say.

He squeezed your hands and replied in a raspy voice. “I didn’t do any better by screaming at you like that. The shit I said was cruel and unfair. I didn’t consider how and why you were feeling so alone. I’ll talk to the company and try to change the schedule. I’ve always wanted to see you more. I would drop everything just to be with you. And when you disappeared, I felt like I was going to die. My life lost purpose. Everything around me crumbled because I thought I lost you,” he whimpered as he gathered you into a hug.

“But you didn’t. I’m not gonna let you lose me. Never again.” You snuggled up to him, placing your ear against his chest. You felt his heart thump steadily and your lips curved into a smile. His cologne had worn off and his musky scent swaddled you.

You were glad to be home.

Uhh I was nOT expecting the rebranding yesterday !!! They’re really growing up now :”))))

Tyvm for requesting and reading! Accepting requests/asks! ❤️

[thealfanator]

Dandelion’s Tales ~ Chapter 1

So I sat there like a fool, staring into the slight bursts and fizzles at the bottom of my mug.  Tiny explosions spat back at me like a wild cat.  For what seemed like sheer boredom, I shook the drizzle contents around and around, watching and listening more to the liquid whistling to me.  Sighing, I slowly put down the cup and looked around the tavern; gazing at the dancing women and playing bands.  I tried to hide my dorky, stupid smile at the same time as my slapped my eyes away from the various pairs of tits.  I cleared my throat.

“Dandelion!” she called me from the end of the table.  She startled me like I’d startle myself from the middle of a silent night – in a cold sweat from too many nightmares.  Nightmares such as: “what’ll happen when I run out of ideas for my stories” or “what if I run out of women” or maybe even “what if mead and ale go extinct”.  I chuckled at my stupidity before I realised she was still standing there with her hand out and prodding me for a refill.

“Yes.” I began.  Even I noticed the slur in my voice, however it was subtle.  “Mead. Again.”  I handed over my tankard; for a moment I thought I threw it at her, but I heard no clash on the floor and, frankly, I couldn’t care less.  My dreary, tired eyes and continuous slur of a drunk man carried me on through the night like an irresponsible father.

             So there I was, alone and fiddling with my crimson tuft of clothing, wondering what I’m doing with my pointless, insignificant life. Once again my reactions were skewed and before I knew it, three commoners were sitting opposite me with wide eyes like they were huddling round a campfire.  “What do you want?” I said in an accidently rude way.  I immediately apologised and greeted them with a smile as if I’d just splashed cold water on my face.

“Are you… Master Dandelion? The one who made the Chameleon?” the woman stuttered in an anxious tone.  I permitted her fits of laughter with a nod and smiled again.  The other two men stared excitedly too and I slapped them a nod with my hat.  “Can you tell us one of your stories?”  She asked. Suddenly and almost without my consent, my back stood straight – proud and ready for storytelling.  The slur in my voice vanished and my eyes became brighter.

“Well!  As you asked, of course!  Gladly!  I’ll tell you the story about this time when I met a loyal friend…”

I was wandering on horseback through a fairly green place.  Plants everywhere, overgrown foliage.  There were canvases of embedded greenery which felt almost carefully or strategically placed for view.  The whole area seemed like a painting – and it was pleasant! Splodges of trickling streams echoed around corners and atop rocks.  Trees stood so high you couldn’t even see the Sun!  Fungus and moss hung down and complemented the ivy curtains of the forest. I actually developed a habit for stopping and sucking in the peaceful, fruity air into my nostrils whilst also trying not to choke on the annoying little fly things I came across (to which I waved them away with my hat).  I’m sure that you’re not surprised that I also had a bunch of papers and journals stuffed under my armpit.  Chasms of knowledge cramped in my safe haven!  Anyway, I’m getting off task.  I trotted along with my horse until I came to an equally overgrown, tiny and abandoned village.  I didn’t mean to go there; I simply needed to pass through there to get to another place (to deliver those papers I talked about).  But, as you obviously thought, Curiosity got the better of me.  I dismounted and took tiny steps through the silence whilst clutching my papers.  I suppose they were my defence because I was certainly no swordsman!  I came to a door which was half ajar and, since I thought it was empty, I pushed it slightly to conjure various screams from the hinges. Before I entered, I subconsciously threw a few, short nervous breaths into the building like entering letters through a small slit of a door.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Master Dandelion is nervous and cowardly.” I am not a nervous person!  In fact, I’m probably the bravest person you know; I was just taking precautions because I’m a sensible human being!  Next thing I knew however, my caution was chucked down the drain as I sensed a random force at the back of my head as darkness greeted me to the floor.

**

Ow.  That was the first thing I said when I awoke.  My first thoughts consisted of multiple “Where the fuck am I?”s.  The next thoughts were that I realised my ankles were bound to the ceiling and other bloody sacks full of body parts were also on the ceiling with me.  It didn’t take long before blood was throbbing through my head and I immediately started feeling queasy.  I looked around.  Blood painted the walls followed by flies jumping around in enjoyment at the stench. As I’ve said, the blood-bursting sacks reeked.  I tried to plaster my nose with the palms of my bound hands to cover the awful smell but my urge to gag did not deflate.  I struggled, making grunting noises as I flailed to uncuff myself from the tiny, wooden shack in the middle of nowhere.

             Then I realised it wasn’t me that was grunting. I heard something through the slit of the ajar door on the other side of the room.  I figured out by now that that must’ve lead to the outside.  Anywhere was better than this fucking place. Ceasing my efforts, I listened hard. I heard exactly what I thought I heard: grunts of a large, inhuman beast coming from outside this room.  It sounded gigantic as every time the noises stopped, the earth would vibrate like it was taking a large, gulping step.  Outbursts of fiery anticipations made by this fascinating unknown sent shivers up my spine!  I almost wished I had my journals to write about this…

“Hello?” I wailed nervously, “Is anyone there?”  I knew it was wrong – calling for help at something which was obviously a threat – but I’m the stupid bard Dandelion who knew nothing better than the calligraphy at the beginning of words.  As you know now (and unfortunately for me), the snorts of curiosity pulled me into this thing even though I knew it was dangerous.

“Shut it!” came an anonymous whisper from behind me.

“Hello?” I called, surprised.  “Please, help me!  My crimson suit will get horribly ruined…”

“Shut the fuck up.” I heard footsteps crawl around the outside of the building on the patchy, wet mud that I presumed was there.  Suddenly, the creature I had been familiar with once before made groans of agony after clashes of sword smacked rocky substance.  I tried wiggling out of my prison again, but the ropes denied me once more.  I heard wailing, like a stray animal, but I couldn’t tell which one it was; the human or the beast.  Moments of silence pass.

             Suddenly the door smashed open, flooding light and making me sneeze uncontrollably.

“Sorry.  I have terrible allergies to sudden changes in atmosphere!” I apologised.  The whispering “shut it” man didn’t reply but did rip off my ties that bound me upside down – to which I thanked him profusely.  I tried to shake his hands but he barged past me, sheathing his sword heading outside.

“Get on the horse.” He said in a gravelly voice.  We both travelled on the same, brown horse into the green forest once again.  I’m just happy I got out of that blood-painted cell!

**

On the way to my unknown destination, I took a deeper look at my saviour.  Muscly.  He was muscly, and very strong.  He wore no shirt, so his bulky arms and large chest blazed in the Sun.  I traced my eyes down his back (as I rode behind him), and followed his scars like a trail.  He only had one sword; evidently not a Witcher, unfortunately.  However this was an interesting tale, and he was a soon-to-be ally I didn’t know I had at the time…  He wore trousers (thankfully!) but they were incredibly worn down.  He had a thick brown beard, little head-hair, and, from my experience, a deep and quaking voice.  My conclusions led me to believe that he was a warrior.  Simple minded – and uses the sword to make decisions.

             We reached a clearing.  A small patch of dry grass surrounded by boulders.  It looked enclosed; that’s what he thought too. The horse came to a stop.

“So?  Mind telling me your name?” I asked.  He replied with a punch to my stomach and rapid binding to my wrists with tough leather.  He then used the bottom of his boot to kick me to the ground.  “Brilliant!” I coughed, “That’s a great start.”

“You don’t talk unless I tell you to.” He roared.  I opened my mouth again to bribe him but I decided against it.  He, ignoring me of course, started doing his own thing! Tucking into his satchel and withdrawing weapons and sharp tools.  He tried his very best to just simply ignore me – when he wasn’t swatting away the flies which jabbed his sweaty forehead – but ended up giving me a monologue.

             “The creature will be here very soon.” He growled whilst fiddling with the tip of his shiny sword.  I kept my extremely misbehaved vocal chords shut.  “We need to prepare.”  But then he stopped and seemed to think about what he said.  “I need to prepare.” He corrected.  Satisfied that he was all ready for the fight, he wrapped me around a dense tree with reassured ropes.

“Look, I know you don’t trust me…” I began.  “but I’m just a mere bard!  I’m not gonna attack you or… anything.” He wasn’t listening.  I sighed before prodding a leaf with my shoe, but also trying to not get my suit dirty.  I looked at myself and decided it was already too late.  You couldn’t even see the crimson if you tried.

             I then heard it roar.  The massive rocky giant came out from within the trees and shook me terrified with a gaze alone.  I’m sure Geralt had told me that this was a rock troll, but I fear I might have been mistaken (mainly because I wasn’t really listening).  It had a thick, rock-like exterior with a face of what seemed like a hundred mangled tongues glued together into a skull shape.  Oozes of blood protruded between the cracks between its skin when it walked but it looked comfortable with that; as if it was used to pain.  It walked slowly and rhythmically.  My captor and my saviour drew his sword as I wiggled my way around the ropes across my chest – looking for a loose end to squirm out of and help him.  He, throbbing with adrenaline, started to jab the creature but I wasn’t really paying attention to that.  I heard them battle whilst I fiddled with the ropes once again, and again and again.  After what seemed like centuries, I broke through and stood up; looking at the fighting man.  To my fright, he was already bleeding on the forest floor.  But so was the creature.  It moaned up against a tree however it had started developing a plan to get back up again and finish us both.  To my saviour’s protest, I swiftly grabbed his bloody sword from the mud and threw it like a spear to the eye of the troll.  It immediately flopped, the life weeping from it.  It made a final, depressive shout before leaving the world and gifting us silence.

“Dandelion.” I said, “my name is Dandelion.” I swiftly offered him a hand up from the ground. Hoping he’d hurry up because the cuts I’d developed before were hurting, I smiled and chuckled a bit. Reluctantly, he agreed and I helped him up whilst he clutched his wound.

“Dune.  Guess the feeling’s mutual.”

**

So, my new ally, Dune, and I huddled ourselves around the campfire we made that evening; dressing our wounds and eating from the supply of food which he kindly offered me.  I sighed.

“What brings you here?” he asked.  I thought about it for a while and realised my initial goal – to deliver some papers – had officially gone out the window.

“Nothing much I guess.” I replied, “It’s kind of been a long day, mostly forgotten…”

“Tell me about it.” He chuckled before launching himself at a chicken wing and then sucking his fingers to detach the grease.  “Look… Dandelion, you’re welcome to tag along with me for a little while,” he smiled warmly, “I’ll keep you safe.  I mean, I don’t see you as the adventuring type – so I can’t imagine you making it back to wherever you need to go in one piece.”  I smiled again.  I didn’t even need to say ‘thank you’ because he could sense it as my eyes lit up.  I nodded.  Then he continued after getting up and packing his bag.  “We better get moving.  Here, we can travel on horseback to the nearest village and get ourselves organised.”

**

They looked like they’d gone to sleep, tankards in hand.  I finished the first part of my tale (to which I needed a good few top ups of ale), so I was pretty knackered too, but I pushed their floppy arms away and left them at the table – dozing until the morning.  I thought it would be best to sober up for now, then I will happily return to the inn to tell another story.

Hello!  I’m so glad to be back.  I love writing stories based on the Witcher and I hope you enjoy this one just as much as you did the others.  I upload chapters every Monday so stay tuned!  Please leave me feedback if you have something you would like to discuss with me, and I hope you have a good week :)

[harrystyleswriter]

One of Those Days

This is the first piece of writing I am posting that wasn’t requested. I’m always writing, I have dozens of one shots ready to go, I just don’t know if anyone will like them. So I decided to post something that wasn’t requested.. If you want to give me feedback, that would be GREATLY appreciated (just please don’t be mean) Also, this is short, i’m sorry!! Enjoy (: // It was one of those days. One of those days where the littlest things made you angry, and your anger quickly turned into tears. When you went to the fridge on your lunch break, you discovered that someone had eaten the lunch you made for yourself. Did this annoy you? Yes. But you tried to tell yourself it wasn't a big deal, you would just run down the street and grab something. When you got back to your desk and opened up your purse, you discovered that you had left your wallet sitting on the counter in your kitchen. At this point, you were upset. You didn't want to burden any of your work friends, even though any one of them would've bought you lunch, or shared what they had brought. But you really didn't want to bother anyone, so you sat back down at your desk and went back to work. The rest of the day had only gotten worse. You spilled a cup of coffee all over your desk, all over some important paperwork. Which meant you had to redo it. You had wrote down the wrong time, and you missed a meeting (it was important) and now your boss was upset with you. You had so much extra work since you had to do everything that you did before lunch over again. That's why you were leaving the office two hours late, starving and upset. You were rushed this morning, and you had an apple for breakfast, but this wasn't enough to get you through the entire day. The one thing that kept you from bursting into tears the second you were in your car, was knowing Harry was home. He had been gone a lot lately, he was super busy promoting his new album, and even though you were incredibly proud of him, you missed him a lot. You had a terrible day, and all you wanted to do was go home, eat some dinner, take a hot shower, and cuddle up with Harry in your bed. That was the only thing that stopped your tears, not because you depended on Harry, but because it was one of those days. When you walked through your front door to see that Harry had company, you knew tears were coming. You didn't want to be rude, but you also didn't want to be around other people right now. You said a quick hello to everyone, giving Harry a quick peck on the cheek before you walked into the kitchen. Harry could sense something was up, the kiss on the cheek you gave him was the kind you gave to your mother, and that was so unlike you. But he didn't say anything; he had guests, he didn't want to start something when he didn't know why you were upset. You saw the takeout containers on the counter, and you were relieved, you were starving. But finding out the containers were empty brought a lump to your throat. The tightness in your throat happened every time you cried, and you knew it was only a matter of time before the tears came. You did your best to hold yourself together, at least until you could get to your bedroom. You made a quick sandwich, but it was nearly impossible to swallow, and you had truthfully lost your appetite. Once you had tided up the mess from your sandwich, and the mess Harry and his friends made, you made your way upstairs. You were done. You couldn't blame Harry, it really wasn't his fault that you had a bad day, it just sucked that he hadn't told you he was having friends over. It would've been nice to know, so you weren't depending on him to make you feel better. Once you were in your bedroom, you decided that a bath was a good idea. You originally planned on having a shower, but that was when you thought you'd be able to curl up with Harry afterwards. If you couldn't, you had no reason to be in a hurry, so a relaxing bath sounded perfect. You went out of your way to make it a relaxing environment. You tidied the dirty clothes up, placing them all in the clothes hamper. You lit a few candles, and broke out a rose scented bath bomb (one you had been saving for a romantic bath with Harry, but that was the farthest thing from your mind right now) and you even decided to use a face mask. You had a terrible day, so you decided that you needed to take care of yourself tonight. Once you were settled in the bath, the water was the perfect temperature, you had found the perfect playlist to listen to as you soaked, it started. You knew it was going to happen, you were an emotional person (you always thought it was really annoying an inconvenient, honestly) and you would be lying if you said you didn't cry often. You cried when you were happy, sad, angry, overwhelmed, so when the tears started, you weren't surprised. It was one of those days. You let yourself cry for ten minutes, and then you forced yourself to stop. You took a few deep breaths, wiped your eyes, and changed the music to something more upbeat. You had your moment, and now you needed to move on. You enjoyed your soak for just a bit longer before you got out and wrapped yourself up in a warm towel. You felt much better, but it was still one of those days. You changed into a pair of shorts and an old shirt, and you crawled underneath the sheets on your side of the bed. It was 10:00, so it wasn't jearly, but it was much earlier than you usually went to bed. You were a night owl, and often found yourself awake at all hours of the night. But you needed sleep, the heaviness of your eyes was telling you that. If the front door had been shut just a few minutes later, you would've been asleep. But now you were awake, and Harry would be coming up shortly, which meant you were going to have to talk to him. You didn't want to. He hadn't done anything wrong, you knew this, but you just didn't want to talk to him right now. All you wanted to do was sleep. So you kept your eyes shut, in hopes that Harry would think you were asleep. You heard his footsteps come through the bedroom door, and into the bathroom. He spent a little bit longer in there than usual, not that you were keeping track. It had been a good five minutes since Harry came upstairs, and you thought you were clear. You thought you could just go to sleep, and talk to him in the morning. "I know you're awake, Y/N." Shit. You slowly opened your eyes, smiling at him awkwardly. He couldn't help but laugh a little bit, you were just too cute. "Yeh avoiding me tonight?" You didn't know what to say, because you totally were. But if he would've been alone, you wouldn't have avoided him. You couldn't tell him that, because he would think you hated his friends, and that was so far from true. You enjoyed his friends, hell, some of them were your friends. It had just been one of those days. "I'm not. Just tired, had a long day." It wasn't exactly a lie, actually it was the truth. It just wasn't the full truth. Harry crawled into bed, instantly tangling his legs with yours, wrapping his arms around you. "Wanted yeh to hang out with us tonight. Everyone thought you were mad at them, pet," Harry quaked. You hadn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings, especially not his. "I'll send them all a message tomorrow, it definite wasn't them. It's just- it's one of those days," you confessed. You didn't like to bother Harry when you were feeling this way, because it was nothing. You knew you were going to wake up in the morning and be back to your old self, so there was no sense bothering him with it. But more often than not he dragged it out of you, he knew you too well. "I'm sorry, love. Want to talk about it?" You shook your head, "not really, actually. It's stupid, I'm going to wake up tomorrow and I'll be fine. I just want to sleep, if I'm honest." You wanted this day to be over, you just wanted to sleep, and you knew Harry would respect that you weren't ready to talk about it, he always did. Harry pulled you a little closer, grinning at you. "Okay, go to sleep, lovebug. But first, you'd better give me a proper goodnight kiss! None of that nanny cheek pecking you gave me when you got home. That was ridiculous, and we both know it," he teased, gently bumping your nose with his. You of course gave Harry his kiss, and then you were off to sleep just minutes after. There weren't even words to describe how grateful you were to have Harry in your life, because without even trying, he made one of those days not so bad.

[smithya93-blog]

Bird Brained- Chapter 6

Show your support by reading the next chapters on Wattpad!Maze left the infirmary and wandered the palace. He held his arm in a sling and wore his obscene feathered cloak in a way that conveniently displayed the bandages that crossed his chest. He was after all an eccentric person at heart. Maybe if he gave enough of a shit about anything he could have been a good actor or poet. Too bad he hated writing and had a terrible memory.

As if by the grace of Nepetes herself, he found Lekan headed down the hall toward him. Play it cool, he thought. Let the prince introduce himself. His stomach quaked at the dramatic nature in which he had fallen into the other man's life. There couldn't be a better way to make a first impression. He greeted Lekan with a short nod in acknowledgement.

"You're awake."

Maze cocked his head "I have been for a while now... " Lekan laughed holding out his hand to shake.

Wrong hand.

He shifted his left to awkwardly shake brandishing the sling. The prince winced.

"Oh.. my apologies does it hurt?" "The pain is mild.. The cleric here is lovely." "Yes Lupit is well respected for her healing magic." "I would agree she has patched me up well." He patted the sling feigning a wince. This felt too formal "Although she wants me to remain in one place until my injuries heal."

"You are more than welcome to stay here while you recover." Could he stay forever? Lekan was on the verge of melting. This was him. This was the scrappy looking man who saved him that night.

He needed to stop referring to him that way. Scrappy wasn't the most accurate term. The man had shaved, his hair neatly trimmed and taken care of while he was resting. Although it looked like he was graying early, he could be no older than the prince himself. His features were rough but held a softness to them that Lekan found striking.

Maze smiled brightly. "Should I take you for the Head of House?" "My mother holds that title for now."

"So you are the prince then.."

Lekan was surveying him intently.

Oh this felt amazing.

"And your name is?"

Lekan was taken aback by the question. "Oh.. Lekan.. Well... that's... you can call me Lekan" Maze gave him a short bow. "I thank you for your hospitality."

"The pleasure is all mine.." He paused waiting for Maze to introduce himself.

"Maze Suvroc, Shadow of the Morning Star." It was so wordy. He hated it but damn did it make him look really good.

"Maze.."

Lekan showed the stranger around.  Maze oo'd and aww'ed at the grandiose nature of the palace, as if he hadn't been living there for the last six months.

--

"Explain yourself." Arthula looked furious arms crossed. After their tour Lekan had brought him into the great hall to meet with his mother. Maze felt the full weight of her gaze as he was scrutinized. All eyes were on him and with only six people in the room, it was excruciating.

"I.. deserted the regalia.. I wanted to take a tour of the region... try to find myself" He bit his lip hating how that sounded "I.. ran into some rough company... situations I could not avoid.. I just want to start my life fresh."

"So you're a coward" Lonan asserted himself into the conversation.

"No I found the Regalia boring." He scoffed without acknowledging Lonan hovering behind him. "Idolizing military power turned out to be duller than I expected."

Arthula looked over to her son not believing an ounce of what Maze had said "Well?"

"His... his family is in shambles, he should stay here while he recovers and sorts out his estate." That may have came off way more eager than he wanted it to.

"I understand that." Arthula began "but, is it safe to just assume this man is really who he says he is."

Ulyss stepped forward clearing his throat. "If I may your grace.. Maze and I went to boarding school together." He looked back at Maze who greeted him with a weird little hip wave.

Maze nodded "We were roommates."

Lekan nodded at his mother "They were roommates."

"He would, in my honest opinion go missing off of the face of the earth for four years and then return from a near death experience at the side of the road." Ulyss continued his eyes not leaving his former friend.

Arthula sighed "Fine, I'll have another room made up." She motioned for Lekan to follow her and Ulyss joined them.

"You.. didn't run away this time though did you.." he muttered under his breath as he passed Maze by.

What was that supposed to mean?

He was offered dinner at the long table alone. It felt very... lonesome. At that time of night everyone else had already eaten, so leftovers were warmed for him. They had also left him a chalice of wine. How kind of them.

Every clink against the dinnerware rang throughout the high ceilings of the empty hall like cannon fire. Footsteps approached him and Lulit made herself comfortable on the table

"So.. How's it going?"

"Your mother is terrifying."

"You think it's bad, I have to live with her."

"I will too if I can play my cards right."

She laughed "Your so optimistic."

"He likes me" "Ulyss has like a week over your head"

He grumbled downing another glass of wine.

--

"So.. what is it about him?" Arthula and Lekan took to setting the room together for Maze. The staff were all finished with their work for the day. The family had very strong feelings about letting them have their free time.

It's not like they couldn't make a bed themselves.

"You'll call me crazy."

"Should I?" she let the comforter drop over the bed.

"Maybe"

"Then tune your mother in on why she should consider you crazy my summer flower." She sat down watching him worried. "You've always been too kind for your own good. Picking up all manner of broken or tired animals, this boy is not someone you can fix. Who knows where he's been.. Or.."

"I think he was the one who saved me.. that night I was ambushed."

Arthula balked at the statement. "What.."

"When.. I woke up and heard the struggle outside. I saw three figures. When the Guard came in... I saw his face.." he sat on the bed and rubbed his face. "You might think he is trouble.. but I know he was fighting back against those intruders." He looked at her pleadingly "If it was him, I owe him my life."

Arthula pushed down the worrying warnings she wanted to give.

"Just... stay close to Lonan.. He can stay because his estate has essentially been torn apart by looters. Don't tell him that.. Tell him there was a fire or something. We can figure the rest out later." She waved her hand. "Do not.. Under any circumstances allow yourself to be alone with him. Do you understand me?"

"Mother.." "No buts... not until we can trust him." She shook her head. "Have Lonan fetch him.. I am retiring for the evening." She kissed his forehead taking her leave.

--

He most certainly did not ask Lonan to fetch Maze and he most certainly did not heed his mother's words. He returned to the great hall to find... "Lulit? What are you doing here"

She jumped off of the table. "Interrogating the suspect."

"What is he suspect of?"

"Trying to kill you."

Maze nearly choked on his food "Hey! Im.."

She laughed shaking her head "As mom thinks of him."

Lekan shooed her off "Go to bed."

"Why?"

"Just.. go.. I need to talk to him"

She rolled her eyes strolling off. Not before giving Maze a thumbs up behind her brothers back.

He waited until Lulit was out of the hall before speaking. "I see the wine has been treating you well."

Maze glanced at the half empty vase before him. "Oh.. it came that way." It most certainly did not and Lekan knew that.

"If you are done eating, I would be happy to show you to your room." Lekan held out his arm for Maze. He pulled himself up taking it and allowing the larger man to escort him.

Guests were situated in the tower beside the family's quarters. Up the winding stairs different rooms spun off with a communal shower at the base. Lekan explained that the castle had been built that way and to put in individual amenities would disrupt the traditional feel of the palace. Maze felt like it might just be a ploy to force snooty guests to have to walk to take a shit.

His door was at the top of the staircase.

"I apologize in advance, we did not plan for any guests." He laughed "but.. I can say I am not disappointed to have the company" Maze released his arm so he could unlock the door. "Do you need clothing?"

"Ah.. I should tomorrow."

"I can have a squire go and fetch things from your family home" he was deciding to ignore everything his mother told him tonight.

"That's alright, those things can rot there.." he ran a hand through his hair sighing. "I'm not a fan of the.. family. I'm looking to make a new one."

Lekan looked at him bewildered. "Not.. a fan?"

Maze pushed the door open not wanting the conversation to continue much longer "Oh.. it's complicated. As families are." He took stock in the room, the canopy bed, the simple dresser and wardrobe arrangements and the small lounge area. He could sleep here and Lekan wouldn't be the wiser that his crow was missing. The prince followed him in.. damnit.

Not that he didn't want to welcome Lekan into every aspect of his life. He was just worn out, and making more trouble for the prince probably wouldn't be good for either of them at the moment.

"I'm not sure I understand?" Lekan followed up on the previous statement.

"Just.. I was never really close with my parents.. they didn't want any more kids so I was an only child. They thought.. one to carry on, save the rest from the misfortune." he caught Lekans progressively more inquisitive look. "That misfortune being my mother" Maze flopped back on the bed "She was a witch, not it the literal sense but she.. really knew how to make a house feel like a prison." He laughed. "I left to find my own way without them. Just the clothes on my back, and the shoes on my feet" and the feathers he grew from being an unfortunate moron.

Lekan nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry you had to experience that" which in essence, was what Maze expected. One who grew up in a cooperative functional family couldn't really understand where he was coming from. Lekan didn't need to get it, just understand it was a sore spot for him.

"So... why are you letting me stay here?"

Lekan stroked his beard contemplatively. "In all honesty. I think your interesting... and someone I want to keep an eye on.."

Maze chuckled shedding his cloak and flinging it over a chair, Lekan stared at it.

"Feathers?"

"I was advised against it but I don't take advice well."

"Why feathers?"

"Family crest is a crow"

"Is it?" Lekan found that very curious "I accidentally adopted a crow."

Maze sat up feigning surprise "Really? How coincidental."

Lekan chuckled "It might have been meant to be."

An awkward silence filled the space between them. Shit, he had nothing fun or interesting to talk about. If he had actually gone on a real venture to find himself he would have some funny stories to tell or some quip about crows he met on the vast plains but..

"Is this your first time in the capital?"

"Yes" he lied blatantly.

"Oh.." Lekan seemed to be disappointed in that response.

"Show me around sometime?"

"I would be honored."

Maze smiled as the prince took his leave closing the door politely.

He spent about five minutes pacing his room before heading back to his nest.

--

A swift rapping at the door woke Maze the next morning. Lekan was already awake, preparing for the day and went to answer. Ulyss emerged from the doorway with a tray "Good morning my prince, I brought you breakfast" Lekan was thrown off by the gesture.

"Oh.. I was on my way to go eat with the rest of-"

"I thought it might be nice if we could have breakfast together."

Lekan nodded slowly "All right..." Well, Ulyss was supposed to be wooing Lekan.. the man could enjoy it if he wanted to.

Ulyss set the tray down at the coffee table and took a seat in one of the lounge chairs. The prince took stock in the food before digging in. "Did you cook this?"

"Yes.. I enjoy a little culinary work when I have the time. All faeish recipes of course, I've gotten quite good at preparing the food." "It's fantastic." he praised Ulyss royally.

It was just eggs, anyone could cook eggs. Hell with one more chromosome Maze could make eggs and that wouldn't be considered a phenomenon.

Ulyss reached out sliding a hand down Lekans shoulder.

"You know.. I've grown quite fond of you Lekan.." The prince looked up with a mouth full of food. "Oh?"

Ulyss laughed resting his hand on the other man's thigh. "I.. would hope you feel the same.."

Lekan made this face. It looked to Maze almost like he was in pain. "I would appreciate it if you would-"

Ulyss sighed interrupting his rejection. "I just want to please you my king."

Ok that's far enough. Maze took his leave from the nest screeching incessantly and dive bombing the newcomer. Ulyss threw himself back swearing and swinging his arm "WHAT THE HELL" Maze felt maybe he should just go right for the throat. Going in claws first- until he was grabbed by the midsection and tossed across the room.

Lekan was astounded by his careless toss and burst into a stream of apologies, as Ulyss bolted from the room screaming. Maze was not injured by the throw, however the wind had been knocked from him. He laid on the bedspread gasping for a moment before Lekan came to check on him.

"Oh.. I'm so sorry... I didn't mean.." his eyes betrayed a hint of tears.

Wait.. no don't cry.. not over this.

He squawked and slowly stood back up. Resting his beak on the hand on the bed and gave him a reassuring look.

Don't cry over me.

Lekan stroked the birds head sighing. "You really startled me.. and Ulyss I guess." He winked at the bird. "I'm sorry, I would never intend to hurt you my little crow." He took a moment to stroke the birds back and make sure it wasn't injured before returning to his morning routine. Maze wasn't wholly sure he could fly right now. He put on a good little show just now but, geez that blow could have killed him if he hadn't hit the bed.

Once Lekan left he needed to get to his room and get dressed before anyone noticed he was missing.

He hopped to the balcony looking down. Sure.. he could shimmy his way across the rooftops... but at crow size that was like a mile of sliding and maneuvering. It would take like an hour. He could probably glide into one of the lower rooms.. sneak out the door and up to his room.. where his door was locked.. he did manage to do that before passing out.

Curse his forethought.. well.. Balcony hopping it was.

He righted himself and tumbled from the balcony hitting the roof below hard. Yeah great start to the morning. He hopped himself along the copper plates of the rooftop.

The roof was not made for crow feet. He kept slipping slowly toward the lip with each step not able to catch a grip. He made it to the foot of the tower and clung on for dear life, as he contemplated having to climb it. He beat his wings finding little purchase but eventually working his way up to the first ledge. Then the second, painfully he scaled the balcony with the incessant wing beats, pulling himself onto his balcony and collapsing on the floor switching to his human shape. He lay there wheezing for a while when he heard a knock at the door.

Lulit pushed her way inside smirking at him.

"Saw you had a little trouble getting back over here.. thought I'd drop in and make sure you didn't fall off."

"you're so kind"

She grinned "You should really lock your door at night.. oh and breakfast is starting soon... so chop chop." She took off back down the stairs.

      He joined Ulyss and Lulit at breakfast. Lonan sat to the side to the side eyes boring holes into Mazes head. "Sorry, couldn't find the shower." He took a seat at the table and made himself a plate.

"Wheres Lekan?" "He has some business today with mom" Lulit responded without looking up from her book.

He nodded at Ulyss "What happened to your face?"

"The princes feral crow"

"Feral crow?"

"It went berserk. Just absolutely attacked me as if I was some villain!"

"Well... what did you do?"

"NOTHING! I.." Ulyss ran a hand through his hair trying to calm himself, still clearly overwhelmed by the experience.

Maze felt a prick of pride at his exasperation.

"I just brought him breakfast.. you know.. to schmooze him a little."

Lulit stood quickly realizing that the conversation was turning in a direction she did not want to be a part of. Lonan watched her leave without a word and returned his attention to Maze.

With Lulit out of the room Ulyss continued, nodding toward Maze.

"I've learned that kind of thing always works for an early morning rubdown." He chuckled.

Maze fairly choked on his fork. He did not find that funny. "What's that supposed to mean"

"If I am going to be his husband, that doesn't mean I can't dive in early."

"If you dive in too early the water would be dirtied and unworthy of bathing" Lonan chimed in with his outdated and offensive opinion.

"You are now officially out of the conversation" Ruit muttered harshly. They looked at him with disgust.

"How can you even say that.."

"Ones fist time is sacred" Lonan responded wiping his face.

"Not really.. I mean if you think that for yourself fine.. but you can't decide that for someone else" Ruit muttered into his eggs.

Lonan scoffed "I have long since lost that experience, I will not allow his pool to be sullied."

Ok this analogy was getting old.

"He's not a pool or an object.. he's a person and.." Maze burst out "You know what.. You have that conversation with him, and see how he feels."

Ulyss laughed "Oh how your tune has changed since school. It's nice to know at least some of us can grow up" He shot a dirty look at Lonan.

The knight huffed and stood from the table "Ruit.. we are needed at the prince's side."

The squire rolled his eyes leaving his half eaten plate to follow his Sir from the room.

The two former roommates found themselves alone and with a strange tenseness in the air.

"Do you think I did something wrong?"

"Maybe.."

Ulyss looked across the table at his old friend with a pained look in his eye.

Maze set his fork aside. "Look... crows are smart right.. maybe he thought you were a danger to Lekan.." he shrugged. "Was he interested in your schmoozing?"

Ulyss said nothing contemplating that statement as he chewed through a piece of bacon.

"Would schmoozing be inappropriate at this time?" "Dunno... I don't know him.." he lied "but he seems like a gentle person.. He's probably been schmoozed his entire life."

"So he would know better.."

"He might need bodyguards to protect him but I don't think he is as defenseless as they make him out to be."

Ulyss smirked "Always keen.. As crows are I guess."

Maze ignored the comment finishing his meal.

He watched Ulyss and Lekan sneak out of the palace later that evening from the top of a turret.

He would let Ulyss have his date with Lekan in peace. Despite the mornings event he knew Ulyss to be of decent background, and after their conversation felt that he wouldn't need to chaperone them.

---

"So.. What do you think.. Do I have a chance?"

"I don't know man.. I'm not an expert on my brother"

"You know him better than anyone else"

"Actually I think you might." She pulled away from her book. "When you got here Lekan stopped talking to us about his problems. He talked to you."

"I'm subjective you are not." They both went quiet for a while. Maze playing with the charm around his neck anxiously.

"What if he doesn't like me?" She turned to face him unsure of how to answer "What if.. I do all of this and, he doesn't want me?"

"It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" She went back to her book.

"Wow.. wise words coming from you!"

"Some poet wrote that."

"Of course they did."

"If he doesn't want you.. well.. respect his decision." She shrugged "What else can you do.. if you love him support him."

Maze nodded.. Was love too strong of a word. Did he really love Lekan, he owed his life to the man sure, he felt joy in the confidence Lekan held him with. All of his secrets and feelings. He wondered if their relationship as people could be as close.

The evening's dinner met Maze with a very rude awakening. Ulyss sitting at the head of the table beside Lekan holding a bubbling conversation with the man. Something in the pit of Mazes stomach dropped. The appetizing meal before him went untouched in the revelation that, Ulyss might.. Actually have a good chance.

Did they even have anything in common? Maybe he had rushed into this. It was hard trying to think about the needs of others. Being a crow was a selfish pleasure, being someones partner was.. ugh. One night stands were ideal for him, he never needed to worry about feelings and compromise. Ulyss was intelligent, charming, handsome... all values Maze knew were appealing and yet none he had himself.

He left the dinner table early that night. Unbeknownst to him, Lekans eyes followed him out as he left.

-----

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