#i am working away at this like my life depends on it
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Indulgences my beloved! A way to grow in imitating God and being perfect as our Heavenly Father is perfect!
Did you [directed at anyone reading this post, intended in a sense of curiosity] know that the conditions to obtain a plenary indulgence are designed to fill you with the grace of God and guide you toward his virtue and away from sin? From the reuniting-grace of confession, to the I-reject-Satan-and-all-his-empty-promises of no-attachment-to-sin, to the grace of God-in-us in the Holy Eucharist!
The acts for the Jubilee year (in the as-yet-undescribed image above, I am in a hurry or I would transcribe it, I will try to come back in the next few days) include activities which, divorced from the context of Catholic indulgences, might be hard to argue against? For example, point three: "perform an extraordinary work of mercy such as a generous gift to the poor, or visiting nursing homes or prisons." Extraordinary, as in, something which is not part of the ordinary routine of life, something that cannot be dismissed merely on the grounds of being too hard to do regularly. A work of mercy, which in the Catholic context is associated with the 7 spiritual and 7 corporal works of mercy, concrete ways of living in imitation of Christ-- but which also implies an action that is done not because a person deserves it but simply out of love (unconditional, not dependent on romantic feelings). A generous gift to the poor-- helping people who desperately need a safety net-- a visit to nursing homes-- those who, in their old age, may feel desperately lonely or shut off from the regular goings-on of life -- a visit to prisons-- full of people both guilty and innocent who are often mistreated because of a hundred reasons, who are often deprived of social connection and who are, like it or not, people very much like the rest of us.
I have gotten very excited and up-in-arms in this post. I hope I have not chased people away, or come across as judgemental. I just think that this is so cool, and I want to show you, dear reader, why I think it is neat.
#catholic and loving it#projects to pursue#not because it is easy#or even because I want to#but because I want to become more like Christ#and I truly believe that is the point of Catholic indulgences#a hoard must be shared
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Just Don't Call Me Late For Dinner
transgirl Zane and picking out a new name.
âSo,â Cole asks with an air of curated nonchalance, like asking the question heâs about to ask might be uncouth, âDo I still⊠call you Zane, or have you um, picked out a new name?â
She glances over at him, pausing the mental calculation she and Pixal had been working on to pin him with a soft smile. The question was meant in good faith, an effort to be supportive, but they were currently held prisoner in the dungeon of a madman, âZane is fine. I have not had much time to think about my name, and considering our current situation I do not think itâs wise to split my attention.â
Cole chuckles a little at that which is good, she was trying to add a bit of levity to her words with the inflection of her voice, âThatâs fair. Just let me know if anything changes, yeah?â
âOf course.â She goes back to work, the conversation sitting in the back of her mind for her to examine later.
I would be happy to take a break and consider the matter of your name, Pixal informs her in that familiar matter-of-fact way, It could prove a good mental reset, though i imagine that term does not accurately ascribe itself to AI.
Thank you, but really, I am okay. I would prefer not to pick out a new name while in captivity. She thinks back at her, a dungeon is not quite conducive to the process. I would prefer something so important not be sullied by this experience.
Understood. Pixal says simply, and they move on from the topic.
Later, after everything is over and done and mostly-processed, Cole glances up at her as she enters the living room with a curious smile, âhow was the mall?â He asks her.
âLooks like you got a lot of stuff.â Lloyd comments from his spot on the carpet in front of the TV. Heâs laying flat on his back and reading a comic book above his head casually.
âIt was a total success!â Kai answers for her.
She supposes that is alright, considering he did most of the heavy lifting when it came to her new fashion choices. He had an eye for clothing- it was the main reason sheâd brought him along. Before sheâd rebuilt herself, everything she owned was bulky and big and picked out for how it hid her silhouette. With her new body, she found her old wardrobe⊠lacking character. Boring. But having been so ignorant to the fashion world, sheâd enlisted the resident stylist for his help. Thank the first master for all those magazines he got every month. Sheâd done her homework before they went out and knew somewhat what was in style and what she liked (they didnât always overlap) and Kai had helped her build outfits and pick out several cornerstone pieces in her new wardrobe.
âI am happy with our trip.â She says with a smile, setting down several bags. Kai took the liberty of showing off a few of her new things. Dresses, skirts, jeans and tops, sweaters and shoes. It had been a long day, but she felt exhilarated by the experience instead of exhausted and sad like she always had when shopping in the mens section.
âSpeaking of new things, given any thought to your name?â Cole asks again, the question much more casual than the first time heâd asked.
She wasnât completely unobservant to social cues, and sheâd certainly noticed and appreciated that they were all somewhat avoiding the name Zane for her since sheâd informed them of her new identity. Her life as of recently was full of a myriad of nicknames.
âI am⊠still thinking about it.â She admits a bit bashfully, âIâm not sure where to begin.â
âItâs a big decision. Do you need any help?â Jay says without looking away from the video game he was currently horribly losing at.
She takes a moment to ponder that before she sits down on the couch next to Cole, âI would be open to suggestions.â She says agreeably, âAre there any names you think would fit me?â
Cole humms and flips his sketch pad to a new page, scribbling Possible Names? On the top, âWell, that depends. What are you wanting? Something that starts with the same initial?â he thinks for a moment before he starts writing things down as he says them aloud, âZinnia? Zoey? Zuri?â
âZinnia sounds too similar to Nya,â She says with a shake of her head before shooting the girl a smile, âI mean no offense.â
âNone taken,â Nya says with a shrug, âI get it. What about something more technology based? Perl? Ada? Siri? Maybe Julia or Ruby?â
Jay curses as his character dies on screen before throwing his two cents in, âTera or Zetta, like the bytes?â He starts the level over again, âWe could get weird with it. Circuit? Mimo? Variable?â
âVariable!?â Kai repeats, looking at Jay like heâs grown a second head.
âVar is a beautiful name for a girl!â Jay insists instantly, defensively huddling over the controller in his hands.
âIâm not sure about that one Frosty.â Kai says frankly before his eyes light up, âHey, what about names having to do with ice? Iâll look some up.â He says excitedly, pulling out his phone.
While heâs doing that, she leans over to see what Cole has written down so far and to also stage whisper to him, âYou do not have to write down Variable.â
âItâs not that outrageous!â Jay pouts.
âOkay, what about Winter? Neve? Noelle?â He clicks over to another article, âThis one says Frostine but that feels a little heavy handed to me. Ooh, I like Ivy and Holly if you want something more nature-y. Aurora is nice too.â He narrates as he scrolls through different lists.
âNeve feels like something my Father would have picked in another life,â She says wistfully, âBut I am not certain it feels quite right for me in this one.â
âHow about Lena?â Lloyd offers up, peeking over his comic.
âIsnât that Fritz Donnegans love interest in starfarer?â Nya asks suspiciously.
âActually sheâs his twin sister.â Jay corrects, âWell they made her his sister in the third movie, before that it wasnât canon.â
âI thought the third movie was about Fritz Donnegans dad turning evil.â
âNo, those are the prequels. Thatâs the sixth movie they made.â Lloyd says as he flips his comic book back open.
Nya rolls her eyes, âIf itâs a prequel then chronologically that is the third movie.â
âWeâre getting off topic.â Cole interrupts before the conversation can devolve any further. He holds out his sketchpad for her to examine, âDo any of these speak to you?â
Zinnia Zoey Zuri Perl Ada Siri Julia Ruby Terra Zetta Circuit Mimo V Winter Neve Noelle Frostine? Ivy Holly Aurora Lena
âI like Perl?â She offers.
âThat didnât sound very confident.â Kai points out with a raised brow.
âOkay, so thatâs the closest. What do you like about it?â
She rolls the name around her head for a long moment, trying to figure out why it stood out to her, âIt is one syllable, like Zane. It does not end in an âaâ sound.â
âShort and to the point. I can work with that.â Nya tilts her head to think, âSage. Elle? Skye?â
âSkylorâ She reminds Nya with a shake of her head.
âJade?â Jay suggests, âOh, too similar to Jay.â
âAnd Harumi. Jade princess?â Lloyd points out with a cringe.
âOh, right.â
âWynn? Oh, hey, Wren? You like birds.â Cole scribbles down the new names while she mulls over his options.
âWren is closer.â She says slowly, âA high contender for sure.â
âBirds!â Kai says excitedly, âWhat are more one syllable birds?â
Lloyd closes his comic book again so he can think better, âLark?â
Nya taps her fingers against her chin, âHow about Dove?â
âRaven?â
âThatâs two syllables Jay.â Kai groans.
Jay throws his hands up in defeat, âIâm not good at this!â
âDove.â She repeats suddenly into the room, the name tasting sweet and comfortable on her tongue, âI think my name is Dove.â
âNya you got it!â Kai whoops before he deflates, âAw, I'm jealous she picked your suggestion.â
Nya sits back with a smile, preening at her choice.
Coleâs smiling ear to ear as he straightens up on the couch, âAlright, letâs try it out! A little role-play.â He turns his body to face her and pretends to hold a cup in one hand and a marker in the other, âAlright, Maâam, iâve got a Venti Oat milk latte with toffee nut and pumpkin.â He spins off the top of his head.
âI would not order that.â She interrupts, âI do not like toffee.â
âCan I get a name for your order?â Cole railroads on, giving her a meaningful look.
She doesnât roll her eyes at his shenanigans because this whole thing has been incredibly sweet, âMy name is Dove.â She tells him, the words fitting perfectly in her mouth. Thereâs a joy bubbling up her chest making her giggle as he pretends to scribble her name down on an invisible cup.
âItâs spelled D-O-V-E.â Jay explains slowly as Cole writes.
âJust in case you werenât sure.â Lloyds plays into the bit.
âShut up.â Cole rolls his eyes, but thereâs no real heat to it before he offers her a genuine smile, âThatâs a great name.â
âIt suits you.â Kai adds and Nya nods along.
âThank you.â Dove says, unable to hide her bright smile.
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More of the zombie apocalypse au comic!!
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#falconearringzombieau#traffic smp#ethoslab#smallishbeans#i am working away at this like my life depends on it#cw gun
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it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy
#its only our third time meeting but its so beyond fucking frustrating to feel like we spent the whole hour going in circles & lowkey arguing#& like she never actually listened to any of the things ive told her. like the ENTIRW REASON i told her i was seeking extra help after#dealing w arfid type noncense all my life was 'achieving goal x is always kind of tough but im trying to do it while also achieving goal y &#im struggling with finding a way to balance the two things' like thats IT & then as shes suggesting things to try im like idk of those are#worth the effort bcus they conflict w goal y & shes like. have you considered not worrying about that so you can focus on x?#like NO bcus thats what i was previoislt doing & it doesnt fucking work for me! & she was just not understanding what i meant by adding#variety or having 'better options' shes all like. ok but even if this new thing conflicts with goal y it can just be another option for you#like thats not the POINT i already have enough options i can switch between that conflict with that like the whole point is i need to fill#the gaps w things that are nutritionally different. like if im ok with something thatll use up a significant portion of ny daily values of#shit then i already have multiple options that i actively like well enough i dont wanna waste my time adding more that are things i think#are just ok but take more work. literally whats the point of that#& im like i think rather than me just thinking of random shit i think i could try itd be helpful if I could like get some guidance on like#what are some things that fall into somewhere into this category or this adjacent category while also not being this other thing & then i#cab like determine from there what i already like & can try & add more of & things from that list that sound like sth i can try#& shes like well idk theres a lot of foods out there. YEAH ABD ISNT IT YOUR FUCKING JOB TO KNOW ABOUT FOOD? like i gave fairly specific#parameters this isnt like a 'list every food on earth' type of question what am i even paying you for if you cant come up with a list#like that. & she jept getting hung up on like well lots of things that are the most calorically dense are gonna be like that like ok it#doesnt have to be the MOST dense maybe think about it like 'the densest things in this other category' which sounded straightforward to me#but she was just like continuing to argue & also like getting hung up on reminding me that everything is dependent on portions like#I FUCKING KNOW?? like if a serving of something is like 10% of my dv id rather find something where a serving is 5% etc. idk how thats like#a hard concept like whats the point of adding something to be like oh sure ill have a third of a serving & get 50 extra calories out of it#be so fr rn im so beyond frustrated still even tho its been hours since i talked to her this is more stressful & annoying than the stress of#just trying to figure shit out on my own i fucking hate having to try & re explain nyaelf ivee & over & have someone just talk over me &#fail to understand what im getting at. im one more shitty session away from quitting & just resigining myself to 70% liquid diet#anyways#texticles
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and when i live on my own ill be able to decorate like real life decorate ive never gotten to do that in real life b4
#like im not barred from doing it Nd i do like. a little bit kind of but its like. Idk my entire life is a very transient thing and im rly#rly rly not used to being in one place for a long time so as a kid we never rly decorated ever#and like obv i wont be Owning a house or anything like that so itll still have to be moveable but i can like. but furniture that i like and#stuff... ive never gotten to do that b4 even in um. wa. i didnt rly get to do any of the decorating even when i was in the actual house bc#him and the roommates umm. did all that. Okay well now ive sort of freaked it by making myself think of that so im going to go stare#longingly at the floorplan i did#bc umm. well ideally id like to move into one of the apartments thats right across the way bc theres a couple of apt buildings like right#there 5 min walk tops and one of the places Has an open one but no floorplan#i wont be movjng out for ages i just wanted to look at floorplans yk#but like i said no floorplans BUT theres one a bit further away not rly walkable bc its umm#youd have to walk on the interstate and stuff and um. no sidewalk and everything but theeeeeeeeee thing had a floorplan#still very close by like 2 min drive but yk. but i still did my little mockup floorplan with that apartment instead#i want it to be closeby so everybody can come visit and so that i dont die and explode . i dont rly want to continue living in this town#4ever once km like Normal and have savings and ive got everything worked out i wanna maybe move to chicago or something since il is better#for the transgenderisms. + ive always wanted to try living in a big city at least once and i think itd be awesome#but thats Ages and ages away like maybe 5 years depending on how good i am. weeee will see if 5 years in the future is like on the table 4#me LOLLLL 24 year old connor seems rly crazy to imagine. but anyways....#but itll be nice to move out and still be in town bc then i can have the same job yk . and maybe ill know how to drive atp and i can like .#buy a car ..or something . if i do know how to drive#which i probably should since this town very car dependent and i dont want my mom to have to drive me to work esp if umm. i dont live with#them ... im just rly rly rly rly rly fucking scared of driving but i know also in my heart that when i do know how to drive the bond between#me and that car will be crazyyyy like. idk how many of you followed me last year but you may remember my insane bond with angel my cart from#work and there was a lot gokng on woth that <- was Very delusional at the time and i was convinced that she was a sentient thing and had the#power to make my life better or worse if i upset her so i said good morning and goodnight to her every single day so that i could have a#good day . looking back on it probably was something to be concerned abt but whatever.... she is still my best friend and i do miss her#deeply#her bathtub and heater were my besttt friends when i was in wa LOL. i was quite unwell#bathtub is still in my room tho yayyy. heater lives with lamp now and angel is of course at my old job....#bathtub currently is holding a project i gave up on. everyone say thank.you bathtub im looking at her right now
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ok time to try to blame someone else instead of me
#being dramatic but idk im also trying to think abt why i am this way#in part to the fact that i inherently view myself as a burden and always have since a child since i could like. comprehend the things my mom#was going through for my life & moving the america etc etc#but like yeah i was basically as independent as couldve been in the PH bc i had multiple ppl who could take me places and take care of me#but in the US it was just my parents and our family and our X amnt of cars#idk i just keep thinking about how much i miss doing anything in my life and how i used to be a dancer a martial artist a potter like#there was so much to me and now because i refuse to learn to drive and get a car i just. am locked out of everything#bc my aspirations cant work out on 1 vehicle in sparse & spread ohio#like idk maybe its the fact that i always was just like im not allowed to have friends im not allowed to go out in the summer#im not allowed to visit friends or extra places or events#never really been independent until i basically ran away and even now im just#only partially independent bc sure i have money and i have my own space but. im dependent on a driver and other ppls schedules and it just#idk i cant not see myself as a burden all i can think of is that im not a good enough woman let alone wife and thats something no one wants#like i barely know how to cook i barely eat i dont clean i barely wash i barely provide like. yeah idk also ever since i had a breakdown#i feel fundamentally just. changed especially about food. and idk i have been asking for others to cook for me more but i still am waiting 4#the next time someone says you can make it yourself and i starve for the next 24 hours#idk dude i literally cannot see myself as not a work of labor. its all mama ever ranted at me about. very verbally very constantly up until#i stopped being difficult with her being the head of the family of like 12#whatever. whatever#im done blaming someone else im gonna eat my words with regret and shame :/
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thinking about daredevil yellow again im not. going to make it Guys.
#static.soundz#crying screaming and hitting the ground. so good. it made me cry really bad#bc whenever i think about jack n matt it always makes me think of me n my dad for various reasons#when matt said i couldnt feel his heartbeat inside me anymore. no words.#i rambled about it on my main but dd is very much intwined in an interesting and special way with my own heavy grief about my dad#and matt was a very important character to me during that time of my life for the exact same reason.#it's why i take a lot of very heavy issue when things try to make it so his dad died in his childhood as opposed to college#bc a) think it takes away a lot of the important nature of their relationship and b) my own personal projection#bc all grief at any stage is highly personal and unique and particular#but it really does feel like. matt is really just starting to become an adult (depending whether he dies when matt's in under or post grad)#(bc i can never remember which) but he's not quite a mega established one. there's still that lingering of childhood#so even though he's grown. it just hurts in a very particular way. they saw you grow up. but they didnt really see you become an adult.#they did not see the person you're going to be. that you are. that you're becoming. it feels like such a bizarre unfair moment in time.#bc why now? why not when i was younger? why not when i was truly an adult adult who is expecting to lose you now?#why at this moment and no other time?#but thinking about matt going i wish i told my dad how much i loved him.#more than anything when he goes 'i love you dad. did you hear? i love you.'#it made me cry like a fucking bitch. honest to god tearing up when i type about it. it wrenches my heart it twists it and it makes me wanna#drop to my knees and just weep and weep and weep. they are everything to me.#i have intertwined a lot of matt's grief with mine in a way that makes him so so so important to me. because as stupid as it fucking sounds#that comic and him as a character are everything to me. so genuinely. they were a lifeline my freshman year#when i was so depressed all i could do was read comics. or listen to music#i could do nothing else. i did. clearly. i did work and assignments. but dd was everything to me alongside dm#im sorry i am being an actual like nutbag in my tags im sorry i just have a lot of feelings. this story is everything to me ever ok? ok.
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i would share my builds but. iâm gonna be honest i just go with vibes. weapon would look pretty with certain character? itâs theirs now. artifacts seem even slightly useful regardless of whether or not theyâre the most efficient set? slap those bitches on. i play genshin like i play pokemon: with my favorites and while pressing as many buttons as possible until the enemy dies - teddy anon
OH YOU JUST LIKE ME FR FR
kazuha has the isshin sword even though i have an aquila favonia cause that goes to kaeya who i built because i like him, even when he did lower damage. i run kazuha as a dps even though heâs supposed to be support (i have a p well done diluc that does more normal attack damage but.. kazuha :] and kukis supposed to be like a hyperbloom driver i think but i have her as healer. my baizhu is currently using her set cause i like the burn reaction (w benny, who i still havenât built properly (just a ton of er for burst stuff) and only use for pyro applications lmao) even though heâs supposed to be like. a sub dps. he and kuki probably work well together but i canât hear that over the sound of my burst support childe who ran freeze with kaeya for an embarrassing amount of my early abyss runs. i still havenât attempted floor twelve and unless i get my shit together i donât think i will. strategy i hardly know her, i just go âunga bunga men prettyâ and that got me to ar 57. i have yet to level my mona despite her being a great support (she does have a r5 dragons tales for when i want childe to look pretty against the pyro flower but thatâs it) and my xingqiu still doesnât have good artifacts. my team âcompsâ are âdps dps.2 sub dps/applicator healerâ and i have not strayed from this in my entire time playing. chongyun is objectively bad for my current playstyle but that has not stopped me from trying. i will get a freeze team with him xingqiu and maybe kaeya if it kills me
#m1d : [chats]#teddy anon#woo lotta tags watch out#this got long but i. feel a lot about this game#i have a lot of âit worksâ builds but only like one solid one which is awkward but not the worst thing#âjack of all trades master of none; still better than a master of oneâ right#(i didnât use my fully built diluc for the longest time except when grinding cryo flower (chongyun) cause i donât like overloaded)#(i have a kazuha.)#(and regularly cringe when he isnât on my team)#ngl itâs embarrassing how dependent i am on kaz. heâs not there i donât know how to get the enemies together. what do.#before him it was heizou and his burst and before that it was aether and his skill/burst#me when anemo amirite (has a lv 20 jean and sayu i havenât touched in ages)#thatâs a lie sayu helps w crystalflies and unusual hillichurls#and diluc does go on both of those trips too#unrelated but thereâs a bird like three feet away from me#just. walkin about. you go little guy i hope you get all the worms (itâs well into the afternoon)#unrelated x2 but i have an au for a piece of media i like and itâs so annoying that only i and like one other person know about it. cringe.#please i want to consume fan content of my au but iâm the oNLY FAN IT SUCKS#birds back. hey guy. wanna hear about my [it technically spans three fandoms oh lord] au?#i do think this is a low point in my life#like iâll go to be judged and the guyâll go âyou made these three medias touchâ âthey hold hands actuallyâ âwhyâ âfunnyâ#what do anime minecraft and marvel have in common? me baby#if there is no god to save you then you must make your own#fun fact i first wrote that like ten minutes ago and got a nosebleed right after#if thereâs a god they certainly hate me. and thatâs fair
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its just not fair that my mom has to be completely dependent on me 100% when im barely 20 years old
#vent in the tags if u dont wanan read#its not FAIRRRR dude#for context my mom has literally never had a job. ever in her life. she met my dad shortly after hs and she was completely dependent on him#now hes gone and she has literally nothing to her name (my dad didnt have a lot put away) so now shes dependent on me n my brother#but its just not fair bc she had literally 30 years to get her life together and she just??? chose not to???#now suddenly im responsible for all her bad decisions while she gets to coast her way through life like she ALWAYS HAS???#she wasnt even a good mother to me yet i gotta bend over backwards to accommodate to her feelings???#we've gotten into so many arguments about this and shes always like 'ur making me feel guilty :(' YOU SHOULD BE!!!!#it just baffles me that she HAD so so so many opportunities to get her shit together and she just never ever took them#how is she not embarrassed#and shes constantly calling me lazy...mf i am a full time college student and work 30+ hours a week to pay YOUR BILLS#i dont even know what to do bc we have an actively bad relationship but i dont wanna throw her out
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remember when i used to draw. haha oh wow what a wacky and exhilarating period of time that was. anyway it will never happen again
#i just do not have it in me these days. too tired#havent installed my tablet on this computer and not prcticing with it constantly has made me impatient with digital art again#even traditionally i just dont have any ideas anymore. all the stories ive wanted to tell over the years#feel so pointless. theyre not going to come to anything. they only mean something to me#and im too tired to think about them anymore. too weird too off kilter too amateurish too embarrassing#looking through my art tag feels like looking at someone else's work again...#its very frustrating i dont know how to...i dont know what im doing. i dont know how to proceed#i have been trying to reevaluate my life recently and it feels. to borrow a phrase. like a house of leaves moments before the wind#i feel purposeless and directionless walking in circles and it is very very vital that i find SOMETHING to do with my time#and my nervous energy or i will tremble myself out of shape and become an anxious overly dependent pile of rot#and i cannot fucking go through that again...but i am so so very tired again.#coming back to what i suppose is just My Life after being away is like oh okay its forever. its making me quite useless#what do i do now. what do i want to do? if i was not ruled by fear and familiarity what and who would i be? i don't know.#what do i want to do?...
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The thing is, like...yeah, a lot of times, the Social Exclusion I've experienced has been from people I probably wouldn't have wanted to be friends with anyway. At the very least, if someone is willing to do that, if someone is going to be that judgmental over things that don't actually matter, then any actual friendship with them probably wouldn't last very long.
But...it still hurts. Because regardless of how you actually feel about these people, it's still another instance of somebody telling you that you're too annoying or too much or too emotional or too whatever. It's still one more thing that people don't even give you the choice to have? And if you hear this over and over again, if it happens everywhere you go, then after a certain point it gets difficult to not internalize it at least a little bit.
It's been 30 years of this and it never gets any easier.
#and obviously I DO have friends who mean a great deal to me. I'm not discounting that at ALL.#the sad unfortunate fact is that the vast majority of those people live far away from me#so if I want to find any kind of community that I can actually access on a regular basis...if I want to be part of like. an actual Group.#(as opposed to having a few distinct individual people I hang out with occasionally or speak to sometimes) then...that kind of.#depends on people in my general immediate sphere like. accepting me. on having several to a bunch of them accepting me.#I cannot control that! and I can try to be a kind person and live out my values and be genuine and patient and authentic and understanding#and all of the things that are important to me but I CANNOT CONTROL WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO. THIS IS NOT UP TO ME.#it's so incredibly frustrating whenever people go 'just love yourself' because yeah we SHOULD all work toward being okay with#ourselves but humans crave community. most of us need emotional support! me loving myself isn't going to guarantee those#things because OTHER PEOPLE need to be involved and view me positively for that!!!!! and generally they just don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!#(it also doesn't help that a lot of Groupsâą/communities/etc. have like. one or a few people who are kind of The Head Of The Group#and either explicitly or implicitly run everything. so even if the GROUP MEMBERS are okay with you. if that one or two people aren't then#tough luck you STILL are prevented from entering that particular social space)#sorry something like. happened recently. in this vein. and it REALLY shouldn't have upset me but. you know. it still did.#my entire life has been this battle of trying to figure out how to be 'good enough' and my fucking GOD I am so tired#WHAT ARE THE RULES!!! WHAT IS THE KEY!!!!!!#like do I just have to put out an ad on craigslist?? TELL ME THE SECRET HERE#In the Vents
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cherry popper â jake
jake x reader
getting your cherry popped by the sweet, popular athletic boy. who is also your best friend
adult content featured, read at your own discretion
[sorry not proof read]
âjake iâm a virgin.â
âokay? good for you? am i supposed to go running?â
your eyes never looked away from jake sim. athletic, popular and smart. triple kill.
and he was your best friend.
-
studying. thatâs all it was supposed to be. jake sim, your best friend, helping you with your college physics course. then it somehow turned into a human anatomy lesson. all because jake couldnât leave his phone alone for 5 seconds and was sexting a girl during the study sessions.
âjakeâyah! would you pay attention? i cannot fail this exam!â you scolded, slamming your pencil down on your notebook.
jake cleared his throat, awkwardly and embarrassingly putting down his cell phone, screen to the table. âsorry.â he apologized with a mumble.
âwhatâs so interesting about whoever youâre texting that youâd rather do that than help your bestie pass her physics exam?â you pouted, looking at jake with a frown and puppy dog eyes.
âoh well you seeâ,â jake began, but then his phone buzzed once before. he went to pick up the phone, but you snatched it before he could.
âwait, youâ,â he didnât even get the chance to finish his sentence of, âwait, you might not want to.â
you screeched, face screwing in disgust as you threw his phone to the couch. then, you whipped your head to jake in disbelief, huffing.
âi canât believe you! you seriously are sexting another girl while helping me?â
âhey, iâm sorry okay? but she sent meâ,â
you held up your hand to stop him. âdonât want to hear it jake.â you sighed. âcan you stop being a horn dog for like, two hours? i know you have a high sex drive, but i was hoping soccer practice wouldâve tired you out.â
you werenât mad at his sex drive. heck, if he needed to fuck like his grades depended on it, then so be it. you werenât the one to stop him. but it did annoy you he couldnât just turn it off long enough to help you study.
âif you canât focus, iâll ask someone else to help.â
âlike who? jay?â jake laughed, joking.
âheeseung.â you smirked, knowing heeseung was just as smart as jake. and although jake and heeseung were friends, those two also had a competitive streak against one another. especially when it came to academics and girls.
you also knew jake was protective over you. all the boys did, but his was extra. you knew he probably warned the guys that you were off limits.
jake scoffed. âabsolutely not, heâll help you pass with an a minus at max.â
âand you?â you asked crossing your arms.
jake smiled. âi can get you that a plus.â
âjake, you canât make miracles happen. i just need a minimum b average.â
âyou know i like to go above and beyond, baby.â he winked, causing you to laugh.
âletâs just get back to work, okay?â
âokay. only because my phone disappeared in the couch.â he pouted. âsheâs not gonna be happy i left her dry.â
you waved it off. âpretty sure she has a box full of toys to help her out.â
âdo you?â jake asked.
your head slowly turned to jake as you was writing down a problem. âdo i what?â you looked at him confused.
âhave a box full of toys?â
your eyes went wide. âoh, uh, letâs focus on the studying!â you rushed out and turned back to your text book, aggressively poking at jakeâs book.
after that, during the study session, jake would steal glances at you, wondering if his best friend did have a box full of toys. or even at least one toy.
jake has known you since you were six. growing up next door to one another in australia, it was fun.
beach days, arcade days, walking to school and back home together. watching him freak out over bugs that you had to be the one to get rid of.
you told jake everything. well, almost everything. he was open and free about his sex life with you. however, you werenât the same.
jake canât recall you telling him about times youâve been with a guy in a sexual way. let alone even kissed a guy.
an hour and a half passed, before you two went off topic once again. your brain was fried, and you couldnât imagine looking at another problem.
âim done for the night, i cant.â you closed your book dramatically, leaning against your couch, head thrown back.
âhave you kissed a guy yet?â
you lifted your head. âjake, where did that even come from?â
jake shrugged. âjust thinking about how you know so much about my sex life, but i know nothing about yours. let alone if youâve even kissed a guy.â
âi just donât find the need to tell you.â you mumbled, picking invisible lint from your leg.
âbut why? i thought we were best friends?â
âjake, we are. thereâs just never anything to tell, okay?â
âokay so tell me,â jake began, turning his body to face yours, leaning his side against the couch, âhave you kissed a boy?â
âof course jake.â
âwho? where? when?â
ânow you sound like me and my girl friends gossiping.â
âi can be that if thatâs what makes you more comfortable.â
you chuckled. âitâs fine jake.â you got comfortable leaning on your side to face him. âmy first kiss was in middle school when i went on holiday with my family. second kiss was in our upper years,â
âwith who?â jakeâs eyebrows raised.
you smacked your lips together, âuh, yang jeongin.â
jake gasped, then laughed. âhe insisted he wasnât even going to kiss a girl until he got married!â
âyeah well,â you shrugged.
âis that all?â jake asked.
you looked down, the floor suddenly looking fun. âwell, no. thereâs one more.â
âwho is it? when? tell me!â jake begged, getting on his knees, grabbing your hands in his.
you sighed rolling your eyes. looking at jake you said, âit was heeseung, just two months ago. more of a make out than just a kiss.â
jake let go of your hands. not mad at you, but shocked and surprised. but he was mad at heeseung as he told his friends you were clearly off limits.
âwhy heeseung?â
âit was at that party you dragged me to, jake. i was bored, you left me to go hook up with a girl, so heeseung kept me company.â
jake stared at you, unblinking. âso what? iâm not around and he takes his chance to get in your pants?â
âjake itâs not like that! all we did was make out, okay? he didnât want to go further, i didnât want to go further. it was just for fun.â
âwho else knew?â
âsunghoon and jungwon. but i begged them not to say anything.â
jake scoffed in disbelief. âdo you promise thatâs all you did?â
âyes jake. i donât understand why it bothers you so much! i havenât opened my legs like a slut for your friends, okay?â
âi donât mean it like thatâ,â
you stood up, now angry for some reason. âitâs getting late. you should go. iâm tired and i am sure you are too from practice. thank you for helping me.â
you walked off to your bathroom, knowing jake can let himself out.
and that he did. he walked out, ready to confront his best friend, forgetting about his cellphone, until he got to his shared apartment with his 2 other roommates, sunghoon and jay.
âis heeseung coming over?â jake asked.
jay and sunghoon were playing video games in the living room. jay answered, ânot that iâm aware of? he had a late practice then a study group right after.â
jake huffed. âsunghoon, i have a bone to pick with you!â
âwhat did i do?â
âyou knew heeseung made out with my best friend and didnât tell me?â
jay gasped like a teen girl. âno!â
sunghoon rolled his eyes, âit wasnât my business to tell! honestly, itâs none of your business too. just because youâre open about your sex life about other girls to her doesnât mean she has to be the same way.â
âbullshit! it is my business.â
âyouâre her best friend, not her boyfriend. she can be around any other guy without you butting in.â sunghoon stated. âeven if that means itâs heeseung.â
jake kept quiet, and just stormed off to his room in a mood. as he laid on his bed, thatâs when he realized he left his phone at your place.
he slapped his hands over his face and groaned.
êŠê·âĄê·êŠïž¶
the next day, you took jake his phone to his apartment. sunghoon answered the door as he was on his way to the ice rink.
you tried to hand it over to sunghoon but he shook his head. âyou give it to him. iâm in a rush, and i am sure jake has some apologies to give.â sunghoon patted your shoulder before leaving you in the door way.
you took off your shoes, making your way to jakeâs room. you knocked twice, and heard a faint âcome in.â
jake didnât even attempt to look up from his bed. âsunghoon if youâre here to just scold me before you leave for the day donât bother. jay already scolded me about my actions.â then he went on to say that he knew he owed you an apology.
âcan you say that a bit louder, i didnât have my phone recording?â you chuckled.
jake sat up quickly from bed. since he was laying on his stomach, he sat up on all fours in doggy style looking at you like a kid who just woke up for christmas.
âyouâre here?â
âwell first, you left your phone at my apartment. but now i believe thereâs an apology to be owed to me?â
jake nodded, getting off his bed, to walk to you as you stood in his door. he apologized for getting upset about you kissing heeseung.
âwhoever you have sex with is none of my business, okay?â
âjake, iâ,â
jake didnât let you finish as he pulled you into a tight hug. âiâm sorry. you can slut yourself out to whomever.â
you laughed, hugging jake back, patting his back. when the hug ended, you handed jake his phone. âi wonder how mad she is.â
jakeâs phone battery was at 0%. âwell, i guess weâll find out after it charges.â he laughed.
you and jake decided to watch a movie, in the meantime âsidelined: the qb and me.â
âugh, so cheesy and cliche.â
you elbowed jake. âi like cheesy and cliche!â
he pinched your cheek. âof course you do.â
you stretched when the movie ended. âi could use a nap. all i dreamt about was physics.â you shuddered.
ânap it is!â jake said and grabbed you to throw you over his shoulder, walking you to his room.
he threw you on his bed, climbing in next to you.
thatâs when you said, âjake, iâm a virgin.â
âokay? good for you? am i supposed to go running?â jake laughed. âhow does that affect me?â
âwell, i was only telling you because of earlier.â
âoh.â jake realized. âmy bad. but still, itâs none of my business who you have sex with, unless itâs me.â
you nearly choked on air. âand just why would i have sex with you?â
âbest friends have sex all the time.â jake said.
you both were laying on your backs, looking up at the ceiling during this conversation.
âjake not best friends. maybe friends with benefits.â
âand we canât be both?â
you sat up, looking down at your friend with confusion written across your face.
âjake? where is this coming from?â
âbaby, if you think i never thought about having sex with you not once since we were teens, you are mistaken.â
âjakeâ,â
âwhy else would i run off my friends and other guys?â
âthen why else would you have sex with other girls if you so called wanted me in bed?â
jake shrugged. âmy dick could only take so much of my hand, babe.â
you groaned, âjake!â and fell back on his bed. this time, he sat up. he rolled to his side, palm on your thigh.
shivers went up and throughout your body.
truth be told, you may have thought about sex with jake once or twice. it didnât really bother your head until you heard a girl in your class stating he once made her come so hard she passed out.
you wanted to know what that felt like. or if it was even possible.
âi heard itâs painful.â you sighed truthfully, turning your head to look into jakeâs eyes. as usual, he had on his puppy dog look, thick lips pouting.
âfor some babe, yes it is.â jake said, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. his thumb then glided softly from your cheek to your bottom lip.
âhow badly?â you asked in a whisper, the tension between you two thickening.
âit just depends on the girl, and if sheâs having sex with the right partner.â jake replied softly, his eyes flicking between your own and your lips. âfor me, making sure my girl is comfortable and relaxed. making sure i touch her in the right places.â
all while talking, jakeâs fingertips ghosted along your thigh, hips, sides, up the side of your breasts. your skin cluttered with goosebumps, your breathing fastening, both you and jake breathing heavily, just inches away from each other.
with one last flick from your eyes to your lips, jake slowly leaned in for a kiss, capturing your lips in his.
and more than you could imagine, his lips were so soft and thick. and he didnât straightly use his tongue. the kiss was so slow and sensual, building up the tension between both of you.
jake carefully hovered over you, so you were flat on your back, your hands raising to wrap around his neck. jakeâs right hand went to push down your pants and underwear as far as he could.
you giggled removing your lips. âmoving quite fast there, huh?â
jake smiled, âcanât help it baby, been waiting too damn long to be inside you.â
jake kissed your lips once more, before scooting down, taking off your bottoms completely, not even bothering to warn you.
his tongue met your core, and you immediately let out a loud gasp, at the unknown feeling. âoh,â you whispered out.
it didnât feel bad, but it felt weird. foreign.
âdonât worry baby, itâll feel good. give me a second.â jake said, and went back to your core, using his tongue, lips, teeth, and soon his finger.
âoh!â you squealed with a gasp, then moaned. your lower half began squirming, causing jake to hold you down by your hips with his left hand.
with him holding you down, the intensity amplified, and your hand went to his soft hair. jake added a second finger, your leg resting over his shoulder.
âtoo much, jake.â you sighed out.
âgotta stretch you out. im pretty thick, honey.â
âthat doesnât help, jake!â you groaned, in-between fussing at him and how good he was making you feel.
âto be fair, i asked if you had any toys.â jake chuckled, fingers still buried in you. only he was sitting up, eyes looking into yours intensely.
âi thought you were joking around.â you moaned as he worked his beautiful, lengthy fingers inside of you. you could almost imagine how his veins looked on his hands.
âyou still havenât answered my question, honey.â jake said, his fingers stilling inside of youâdeep and angled.
âfuck!â you moaned, annoyed he stopped. âyes jake, i have one fucking toy! now keep it moving, please.â you begged, and jake chuckled.
âanything for my bestie.â
jake worked his fingers inside of you, adding a third for a while, getting you used to the sensation. weirdly, not once did it not feel good.
jake could feel you getting wetter and wetter and knew it was perfect timing. he quickly undressed himself, then finished undressing you.
âwant me to wear a condom?â jake asked and you nodded. jake grabbed a condom from his bedside table, and put it on with quick ease.
you closed your eyes in anticipation of it hurting. jake noticed, and grabbed your chin in his hand.
âlook at me honey.â he said softly and you opened your eyes slowly.
he leaned down, so your noses touched, his tip waiting to enter you. he kissed your forehead once.
âdonât wait for the pain, itâll hurt more. try to relax for me, okay? eyes on me.â
jake kept his hand on your chin, your eyes looking into his. foreheads touching, jake eased in you slowly, you biting your lower lip trying to not scrunch your face.
âitâs okay, youâre doing so well for me baby.â jake cooed, kissing your lips. âdoing so well for your jakey.â
you let out a deep breath, your hands resting around his neck and shoulders, your legs open as he laid in between them, buried. your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders.
jake soon finished pushing himself all the way in, causing a low moan of pain to push past your lips. your eyes snapped shut.
âjake, i canât.â you cried.
âhey, look at me.â jake ordered and you did once more. âeyes on me, okay? youâre okay, i have you. itâs gonna hurt for a bit, but iâll take care of you.â
âjake butâ,â
âdo you trust me?â jake asked, caressing your cheek and you nodded.
jake attached his lips to yours, one hand playing with your breast and nipples, as he slowly, inch by inch pushed in and out of you.
the sensation of him playing with your boobs and nipples distracted from his dick rocking in and out of you.
soon you hadnât even noticed jake was able to pull out to the tip and push back in, your wetness leaking between the two of you.
âmy baby just needed some kisses and sweet talk.â jake mumbled against your lips.
jakeâs head rested against your neck, and his thrusts became faster and deeper if possible. but it felt good.
jake became a moaning mess, his moans and low growls seeming to turn you on more. he just started throwing praises your way, rolling easily off his tongue.
âgood girl. so good for your best friend, huh? always wanted to have your best friend fuck you? not as innocent as i thought.â
jakeâs next position had him on his knees, you flat on your back, your legs and thighs resting against the front of his body.
with how powerful his thrusts became, you were so glad no one was here because the sounds of skin slapping was so loud.
your hands reached to grip anything and everything it could. pillows, sheets, jake. jake had a tight hold on your hips as he began to pound into you, literally.
âjake!â you squealed, and felt your stomach tightening. âjake!â
âthatâs it baby, say my name, over,â thrust, âand over,â thrust, âand over until your voice goes out.â thrust.
you let out a loudâscream? moan? growl?
your body began shaking afterwards, jake bullying himself back into you after your cunt just kept pushing him out.
soon, jake went still inside of you, a loud moan coming out of his own lips, his grip on your sides tightened.
it felt so hot in his room, both sweaty from the sex. tension was still high, and you knew no way things could go back to the way it was prior to this.
jake removed his dick from you, still hard and wanting a second round. but he knew you had to get some rest before even thinking about another round.
he looked down on the condom, noting no blood, and removed it before throwing it to the trash next to the bed.
âat least you used the trash for something.â you joked. jake laughed knowing you always got after him for his lack of cleanliness.
your heart began thumping hard at the thought of what happens after this. meanwhile jakeâs heart was thumping because his body was ready for round 2.
before either of you could say anything, a knock came to your door.
âyo, horn dogs! jay brought us food!â heeseung yelled then laughed.
ah shit.
#fanfiction#enhypen x reader#engene#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen#enhypen au#reader x jake#jake sim#jake sim smut#jake smut#enhypen smut#virginity loss#cherry popper
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Day 7. Monster-kinktober: Tentacles + Squirting/Dom-sub
A/N: I have no idea why this involves wanting to get pregnant because Iâm not that person, BUT apparently my muse was, so here you have it. Enjoy?
Kraken x fem!reader || induced heat, tentacle sex, squirting, (light) dom/sub dynamic, breeding, (light) choking || tw: pregnancy talk
âAre you sure?â He asked for the thousand time.
âYes, I am. Give it to me,â you ordered, you had extended in his direction.
He passed you a little pouch filled with some kind of glittery powder. âNow I just open it and breathe it in?â He nodded, worry written all over his face. âDonât worry, it will be fine,â you assured him, even though you had no idea if that was true.
You had to argue enough with him to let you have the heat inducing powder. You two had been trying to get pregnant for a while and it wasnât working. When you asked the doctor (another kraken), they said you needed the powder, that would make you fertile for kraken seed. And also really horny. It was supposed to start kraken heat... and it had never been tested on humans. But who cared if it had been tried before? You wanted to be filled, and you wanted him to be able to fuck you full of kraken babies.
So you opened it and inhaled the glittery powder.
At first you didnât feel anything, but not two minutes later, your body started to feel really hot. So hot that you had to take your clothes off and throw them away. He stared at you, not saying or doing anything. You approached him like predator to prey, and he stepped back. You growled, actually growled, at him. You both looked at each other surprised when you jumped into his arms. He caught you with the help of his tentacles and you started pulling his clothes off, a need so big and profound within you that you needed to be filled ASAP.
He tried to shush you, trying to get your hands to stop tearing his clothes off, but you whined and all his fight deflated completely. He helped you get off his cloths and then yours, and you started jerking him off as soon as his dick was out. His groans mixed with yours when his tentacles joined the party and started sucking on your nipples some of them caressing your body and driving you higher in your heat. Youâve never felt anything like it.
Usually it took you a little while to be ready, but you were dripping wet and your brain was too dizzy to form coherent thoughts, you took advantage of his hands being occupied holding you up against him and pushed your hips down until the tip of his cock was in your entrance. He tried to stop you, but he wasnât fast enough and you pushed down, crying out when he slipped all the way inside in one thrust.
You didnât give him time to get ready, you were dripping wet and the need inside of you was driving you insane with desire. You bounced on his dick before he could say anything. You fucked yourself down on him as he groaned, his head thrown back and his tentacles sucking marks all over your body. Both of you completely crazy with pleasure and frenzy.
âSlow down,â he warned, a tentacle coming around your throat to stop your movements. His pupils were blown wide and he looked completely wild.
But you couldnât wait anymore, you needed him, so you started moving your hips again, making him groan exasperated as his tentacle closed around your neck a bit tighter. Not tight enough to constrict your blood-flow or airflow but enough to feel him when you breathed. It was exhilarating to know you were driving him wild, especially because you already felt like you were feral. You were bouncing on his dick like your life depended on it and you couldnât stop yourself even if you wanted to.
âCome on, come on, come on⊠fill me. Fill me with your babies, come on,â you chanted over and over, your words slurring because of your incessant movement. He groaned at your words, his body going rigid under you as you felt the first shoot of his come inside of you, driving you higher in your pleasure and making you come too.
He slipped his dick out, spent, but you werenât done, you needed more, your body needed more. You didnât know the powder was going to act so strongly on you, but you needed him to be inside of you constantly. You whined, begging him to fill you again, and he did. His dick wouldnât be up for a while, but he still had a bunch of tentacles he could play with.
And oh goddess did he play.
He replaced his dick with one of his tentacles, fucking in and out of you fast and hard, your body lax after the first orgasm. You couldnât bounce anymore, he held you still as he fucked into you. You were a puppet in his arms, and you couldnât be happier about it.
Thatâs when you felt a fast pressure running down your body and you exploded into a million pieces. But he didnât stop then. He kept going, the sucker inside of you latching to your G-spot as his fingers rubbed your clit until you were falling into the next orgasm before you could process the first one. And he kept going, and the pressure kept buildingâŠ
And it unleashed.
Something inside of you broke down and you felt a gush of liquid coming out of you, soaking him and making a complete mess under you as you screamed and screamed, unable to form words or thoughts over the blinding pleasure of your orgasm.
âI didnât know you could squirt, youâve been holding back with me,â he joked, his voice breathless. You could still feel his tentacle moving inside of you, solid and big, keeping you stretched and content.
You tried to answer, but the only thing that came out was some âughngâ, as he laughed.
âRest now, the next wave of heat will come soon,â he told you.
#kraken#kraken x reader#kraken x human#krakn x you#monster#monster fucker#monster imagine#monster x human#teratophillia#monster x reader#terato#monster boyfriend#monster fuqqer#monster kink#monster love#monster lover#monster romance#monster smut#monster x you#monsterfucker#monsterfucking nsft#monstertober#kinktober#monsterkinktober
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FFSâ Guide to Mattresses:
The following is a non-comprehensive list of questions I get asked a lot and is hopefully a good resource for anyone looking for a new mattress. I am not a scientist. I just sell beds. All bed knowledge is centered in the US, my apologies to international folks.
If this guide proves helpful you can consider popping a tip over on my Ko-fi to say thanks!
Whatâs the first step?
Well, first thing is gonna seem kindâve obvious but a lot of people get mattresses secondhand and donât think about it. Determine the feel you like! Thereâs no reason to sleep on a hard bed unless you like it, itâs not any better for your back. The three standard feels are firm, medium, and soft. Soft is called plush for stupid reasons. So find out which you like! Itâll narrow down what you look at, and save you time.
When trying out mattresses, use an A-B method. Do not compare every bed. Compare two at a time, otherwise you end up a confused mess. Pick one between the two that you like better, then put that one up against the next choice.
When you eliminate a bed itâs dead to you. Forget it. It was not as good as your new favorite and does not deserve to be remembered. If you cannot pick between two you will be tempted to try a third- this is the devil talking. A third will just make your life harder. If you truly canât pick between beds that are comparable and they both feel nice after feeling your feelings then pick the cheaper one.
Lastly, mattresses are a huge example of âyou get what you pay forâ. Investing will pay off. Donât get sticker shocked, budget what you can but know that mattresses can be freakin expensive. If you go into a store and see $5000 price tags, donât worry, thatâs not all they carry, but focus on the feel of the bed at first rather than price tag.
If you find one you love but itâs too much, the salesperson will know a comparable roll down or will usually try to help you get a deal. If you can admit, âI like this but itâs too muchâ theyâll work with you to find a solution.
What firmness is best?
This varies person to person but firm beds are not necessarily better for your body. Really. Thereâs two parts to a good mattress: support and comfort. Support goes underneath and is generally springs or incredibly dense foam. If a bed has good support, you can get away with lots of comfort.
The comfort layer exists to be gentle on your joints and pressure points. People who sleep on their side really need this comfort layer. Without this your shoulders and hips canât circulate blood and youâll end up tossing and turning every time your arm starts to fall asleep.
Back in the 1950âs when interconnected coils were the only thing on the market it made sense that you needed them to be firm, otherwise youâd get no back support. But nowadays coils are individually free standing, they do a much better job supporting bodies and bonus, they donât have to be rock hard.
Most people should get somewhere around a medium bed rather than super firm or super soft but it depends on the persons preferences as all three can be good for you.
How can I tell if a bed has good support?
Iâm so glad you asked. You lay on it. Thereâs a natural curve to the human spine. Lay first on your back. The arch in your lower back, thatâs your lumbar. A good bed will push up and fill that area. If your muscles are trying to maintain that arch all night without help it will cause back pain and tossing. The more a bed fills your lumbar the better you can sleep.
Next, lay on your side. Youâll want to focus on your shoulders and hips. Good support on your back is great, but a mattress should have enough squish not to pinch off circulation. Lay for at least five minutes on your side unless you hate it right off the bat, Iâm not saying every bed needs this in depth just the one youâre seriously considering. If you feel like you already need to roll over itâs too hard, go softer.
Should I get a topper?
A thousand times no. Toppers are used as a wide ranging bandaid from âthereâs a hole in my bedâ to âmy back hurtsâ. Commercially available foams in toppers are significantly worse than the foams found in beds. They break down faster and sleep hotter than what they make mattresses with.
The only scenario in which you need a topper is if youâre stuck with a bed thatâs too firm for you and you need it a little softer. Thatâs it. It can make your bed a little softer. It cannot fill holes or fix a bed with bad support. Generally aim to be over $200+ or the topper will break down ridiculously fast and be super hot to sleep on.
What do I do if thereâs a divot in my bed?
First off, waterproof protectors can help avoid this problem, so take your bed divot as a life lesson and use a protector on all beds going forward. Our sweat and humidity breaks down foam like nobodies business, causing permanent damage.
So you have a divot, what now? Depends how entrenched it is. When beds get slept on every night for years the foam where a body lays compresses down, and the foam around it stays untouched. Youâll naturally start sinking. But you can get up and walk or crawl along all the foam that isnât get slept on. If your divot is years deep it may be beyond saving but itâs worth a shot.
You can also rotate beds head to foot every six months and switch the side you and your partner sleep on or sleep all over the bed if youâre alone in it.
If the bed is over ten years old thank it for its service and get a new bed.
When should I get a new bed?
Itâs worth checking your sleep quality at ten years into a mattress. The average life expectancy of a bed is 7-9 years. Not because the bed gave out necessarily but because human bodies change. We gain and lose weight, suffer injuries and age. A bed that worked for us eight years ago might not be what we need anymore. So just general age check is good. This is subject to the kind of mattress, bed in a boxes average 3-4 years of comfort so check in sooner.
But additionally: if your bed has a deep body trench where youâve been sleeping, or if youâre waking up achey or in pain. Thereâs health problems that can reduce your sleep but a lot of people never suspect their mattress is sabotaging their rest, so keep it in mind.
How do I clean my bed?
Oh boy. You donât. This goes back to water proof protectors. Your bed is not something you can pop in the wash. But it is something you will sweat and live in for upwards of ten years. Dust mites, dead skin cells, dust mite corpses, dust mite feces, allergens, skin oils. All those things will seep into the bed over time and spoiler alert itâs not great to breathe it in every night.
Sheets only catch a fraction of it, so a waterproof protector keeps the bed safe from your sweat breaking it down, but it keeps you safe from all the things that can build up in a mattress.
If you must clean a mattress I recommend a professional steaming service rather than trying to do it on your own but take this going forward: always protect your bed.
When should I get a new pillow?
Does your pillow have a waterproof protector on it? If no the answer is probably âright nowâ. Doctors recommend keeping a pillow no more than two years. This is because theyâll lose support and get yucky gross over those two years. If you get a memory foam pillow and get a protector on it they can last way longer. My oldest pillow was around seven years old.
Cheap polyfill pillows you buy at Target or Walmart are really only going to last three months before they wear out. If you are using more then one pillow at night you need a new pillow. Every time you have to wake up and adjust the multiple pillows youâre losing sleep.
Memory foam pillows can be more expensive but will last exponentially longer so save up and spend $50+ on a pillow youâll actually get to use for a long time rather than $10 on one that will give you a few months of comfort.
What do I look for in a good pillow?
A good pillow is an extension of your spinal support. It should keep your neck aligned with your spine. Ideally, you are laying on a bed to try out a pillows height. It should match the width of your shoulder.
Most mattress stores can fit you for a pillow, but you can also bring a buddy to check your spinal alignment is straight. Side sleeping is most critical to get the height right. Back sleeping you just donât want it too tall to force your chin down, and stomach you want it low enough not to push your neck up.
I replaced my pillow, now what?
Okay so now you might curse my name for a few days. Bodies are creatures of habit and hate change. Your neck might be in agony on the old pillow but it's familiar agony. So when you boot that sucker to the curb don't throw it out right away. As if I'd ever actually throw away a pillow when I could just hoard it forever.
Start each night on your new pillow. If you wake up in pain, switch back to the old one. Each night you should be able to stay on the new pillow longer and longer until your neck is finally happy. If the new pillow is consistently an issue after a week or more it may be too tall/low for you, unfortunately.
If Iâm sleeping well do I really need to replace it (beds/pillows)?
Are you really sleeping well? Replacing beds or pillows is inherently stressful and a lot of peoples happy place is their bed. Itâs hard to give up aspects of that cozy zone. If youâre really truly sleeping well no one is gonna make you change.
But generally if you find yourself asking this question you may be trying to convince yourself that things are good enough and ignoring that they could be much better.
Get a sleep tracker if some kind. Let it run for a week or two to see how much youâre tossing and waking up. If itâs a lot and your bed/pillow are old, itâs a good bed theyâve served their time.
If you ever wake up to readjust pillows (or at any point youâre using more than one pillow or mattress) then yes. You need a new one.
Good sleep is the result of the least disruptions. Anything you need to adjust in the middle of the night deserves a hard look and a boot to the curb.
Why shouldnât I have my mattress flat on the floor?
Mold. Mold mold mold. Remember when I talked about how human bodies are humid? We put out a ridiculous amount of moisture as we sleep from exhalations to sweat. That builds up in the sponge under you and then your body heat maintains the ideal temperature to grow all sorts of nastiness.
You would not believe the amount of molded out beds Iâve seen. Even in the most arid areas, mold. Itâs not worth it. Do not leave your bed on the floor. Thereâs like 2â frames if you like a low bed. If you must have your bed on the floor tip it up against a wall to ventilate every day. Mold will not wait for an invitation.
Japanese futons get brought up a lot here and first off- they get moved every night and washed regularly. Then left to ventilate. They understand that if they left it there it would mold.
Why do I sleep in X position?
Generally your body really wants your spine to curve in the right ways. Sleeping on your back would be ideal if the bed gave you everything you needed but most beds struggle to fill the lumbar. So when your muscles canât hold your lumbar curve and want a break you roll onto your side.
Stomach sleepers are a case of back muscles fully declaring that nothing can support them and opting to invert rather than deal with poor support. Itâs fully the worst sleeping position.
Before I sold beds I was almost 100% stomach sleeper due to scoliosis and back pain. Sometimes side. When I got my new bed I switched to only side and occasionally even back, which astonished me. As my bed has become less what I need Iâve reverted to occasional stomach bouts and less back sleeping.
Why donât you like bed in a box?
Let me count the ways.
Box beds are the fast fashion of the bed world. They essentially corrupt the support part of the bed equation in order to get a product that can feasibly roll up and be compressed down. The foams are all lower density than they should be and give out quicker. The coils are significantly less steel.
The world cried out for an inexpensive bed and companies responded by giving you significantly less bed per dollar. They often use fiberglass as their flame retardant a requirement for all beds and thereâs many testimonials about how poorly thatâs gone for people.
But now the greatest sin of boxed beds is that they have the audacity to be marketed at the same price points of traditional beds that donât roll up.
This robs the consumer of longevity. Theyâre a rip off. I sell them now at my store and I will do everything in my power to turn folks away onto beds that will actually do their damn job rather than bed mimics.
If you have a bed in a box, please understand that youâll still get up to five years out of it, and youâre not foolish for buying one. Theyâll still always be better than an old broken bed, just look to replace it sooner.
What is a good price point for a new bed?
This is really subjective, but you can get a queen size bed with independent coils for around $600. Thatâs the lowest good back support Iâve seen. Youâll get ten years out of it and itâll be a bed.
Stepping into the $1000 mark gives better back support and pressure relief. Up from that theyâre going to get more conforming.
Beyond $2000+ youâre generally paying for cooling. Itâs the number one thing people want in a new bed but it costs more to give.
Rank Costco, IKEA, or bed in a boxes?
Bed in a box are my lowest tier, for reasons Iâve spoken of at length.
IKEA is next. Theyâre generally not boxed as of the last time I investigated ikea beds but theyâre also just bare bones. Not a lot of either support or comfort, they tend to be around dorm quality.
Costco is a bit of a cheat here. See, theyâre a wholesaler but mattresses arenât something that overstocks- theyâre made to order. Costco still wanted to offer a cheap option. So Costco gets beds made to order for really cheap. Now how can Costco offer it so much cheaper? By putting roughly 1/3 less stuff in it by category.
I had a spreadsheet laid out at one point to compare a sealy I carried against what looked like a comparable Costco bed. Every single component was shaved down. Each layer of foam, each coil, they all were about 1/3 less material than our better bed.
Now of course Costco sells boxed bed. So a non-boxed Costco bed is still better than an old broken bed and Costco will basically always take it back which is why they score higher than others but youâre still only going to get about three to five years out of it.
Do I really need a new boxspring? My old one is fine!
Is it really actually 100% fine? Is it just as old as the mattress? Are you willing to gamble the price of the new bed on the existing structural integrity? Itâs been load bearing for the lifespan of a bed and the amount of boxes that are actually good to continue service are few and far between.
A few reasons to get new boxes: new beds are made much more floppy than old style to accommodate adjusting on adjustable bases. Old boxes may not offer adequate support for a new bed. Ideally whatâs going under a new mattress is solid. No gaps. If you have slats itâs still ultimately better to put a bunkie board under the mattress rather than sitting it right on the slats. Also mattress manufacturers wonât warranty a bed that is on old boxes or improper support.
Adjustable bases are a wonderful replacement for box springs, bunkie boards should go over slats greater that 2â apart, and try to avoid frames that leave big open spaces under the bed.
If this guide was helpful you can consider popping a tip over on my Ko-fi to say thanks!
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Help Us Survive This Winter: A Fatherâs Plea â€ïžâđ©č
My name is Mohammed, and I never imagined that one day I would have to write these words, asking for help to simply keep my family alive. I used to work as a painter and decorator, taking pride in providing for my family and raising my two boys, Arafa and Mohammed, with love and security. But everything changed overnight.
Our home, the place where we built memories, was destroyed in a bombing. The car I depended on to make a living was reduced to ashes. We were left with nothing. Now, my familyâmy wife, my parents, my brother Ahmed, and my boysâare crammed into a school near the Port of Gaza, a shelter that is no longer a place of learning, but a refuge for the displaced.
The constant sound of gunfire and bombs haunt us day and night. Each explosion shakes the ground beneath us and tears at our spirits. My children, Arafa and Mohammed, once so full of life, now cower in fear. They have nightmares and cry in their sleep. The trauma they are enduring has stolen their childhood. My heart breaks every time I see the fear in their eyes, knowing that I canât make it go away.
We are living in survival mode. There is no money for food. No fuel to stay warm as winter creeps closer. No medicine to treat the constant sicknesses that come with our living conditions. And no warm clothing to protect my children from the freezing nights that are just around the corner. I watch them shiver, hungry and cold, and I feel utterly powerless as a father.
Weâve lost everything, and I have no means to provide for my family. Weâve reached a point where we cannot survive without help. I never thought Iâd be in this positionâhaving to rely on the generosity of strangers to keep my family alive. But I am here, pleading with you, because the alternative is unthinkable.
Please, if you can spare anything at all, it could mean the difference between life and death for us. Your donation, no matter how small, can help us buy food so my children wonât go to bed hungry. It can help us find fuel to keep warm in the brutal winter months ahead. It can provide medicine for my boys and warm clothing to protect them from the cold.
I know the world is full of need right now, but I hope you can find it in your heart to help my family. We are just one of many who have lost everything, but to us, your kindness could change our world. It could give my children a chance to feel safe again, to heal from the trauma they are carrying, and to survive the months ahead.
Thank you for reading, for caring, and for anything you can do to help. Your generosity will not only provide us with the necessities we need to survive but also restore a bit of hope in a time when it feels like all hope has been lost.
With all my heart, thank you.
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I just had a thought- how would Grim and the ramshackle ghosts feel about all the stuff happening to us?
Especially if the yandere(s) are coming over to our dorm too! Would they, depending on the severity of the yandere and their specific actions, range from supporting it cuz yknow reader gets to be happy with someone who treats them well and loves them to concerned because sweetie please get yourself outta there đ
I can imagine Grim is NOT alright with it and for a multitude of reasons, they are taking away your time with HIM, and once he pays more attention to the bigger picture? Yeah messed up things be occasionally happening that could very well hurt you!! He does not like that!!!
im just imagining Grim being visibly not alright and reader will not have it either when it comes to him, they are a PACKAGE deal and that is that no matter which yandere comes their way đŁïž
we have many people more alright with Grim being readerâs number one priority, or yknow silently(?) wishing it was them, poor Grim and Reader man encountering yandere after yandere đ
Grim would give us a look if we expressed any sort of romantic interest in any yandere I think lol
âPologies if it was too long or ranty, though I am curious who you think would be the most and least alright with this? I imagine Leona and Ace (legally required to bring up Ace heâs my all time fav next to Grim) would NOT like it lmao
.. first off, this is the longest ask ive ever gotten, I gotta just say oml thank you so much????? You, wrote all of this, fpr me?? đ„čđ„čđ„čđđđ this literally made my week thank you so much bestie đ„čđ second off, this inspired me to rant too, I hope you enjoy!- (not proofread btw)
So im mainly gonna focus on grim, no offence to ramshackle ghost fans, I just really like the silly little fire-cat/rat/weasel/creature. He was literally our first friend, our first companion (I bet Ace and grim bicker on who was your first).
And oh boy, guy is NOT HAPPY when he sees all these dumbasses vying for your attention and either trying to butter him up with tuna (which will not work on the mighty grim!) or ugnore him completely! Like you stated you and him are a package deal! Get the prefect and get their silly hungry companion!!
Now, grim surely uses his position as your closest companion as a safety net, they can't kill off the closest you have to family in this world! Guess they gotta live with him if they wanna have a life with you.
Ace hates that grim was your friend before him, feeling annoyed whenever he bullied (Juice) Deuce about being friends with you before him only for grim to butt in. Ace isn't too annoyed with grim though, and grim thinks that Ace is one of the better choises of the roster you have, they're both friends after all.
Of course most students in the cast don't liek "sharing" you with grim, especially the more territorial ones. Leona is probably the worst, I mean come on they're both feline looking creatures. With scent being a heavy thing for felines (yes even beastmen dont come at me) Leona is not happy to have his scent on you be muddied by the little rodent (the greatest mage of all, grim). Probably the worst choise since they're just gonna bicker to the end of the world..
Floyd doesn't like this either! Not fair that he has to share!! And with grim no less.. Floyd results in biting you instead of scenting, his chompers being good for nibbling on you. He also has the advantage that grim is sorta afraid of him (honestly who wouldn't be? Especially yan Floyd...).
Kalim tries to brime grim, with anything he could ever think off! Unlimited tuna for grim, and the best there is as well!! Nything grim could ever want on a silver platter, only if grim let's kalim marry you! That alone doesn't sound too bad, but that unsettling horrifying servant that follows Kalim around. He knows what jamil can do, and he sure does NOT want you with that dude!- guy is manipulative and creepy (he would definelty seperate you and grim!-)
Malleus... Malleus scares grim, guys is honestly horrifying. Threatening to curse him into an eternal slumber so he can whisk you away from him, he doesn't want that! You would also get sad id malleus did that, so luckily the possessive dragon had to share (for now...)
Whoever you choose, grim would probably disapprove, guy thinks of you as family (he will never admit that tho). He cares about you, and he is not okay with the invasion of privacy from these teenagers! >:(
I know you didn't ask fpr any drawing or such, but I couldn't help myself sorry đ€ hope you like my ramblings back at you!
#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere twst art#yandere twisted wonderland art#yandere ace#yandere ace trappola#yandere leona#yandere leona kingscholar#yandere floyd#yandere floyd leech#yandere kalim#yandere kalim al asim#yandere jamil#yandere jamil viper#yandere malleus#yandere malleus draconia#grim being a silly guy#i love grim sm best dude in twst fr
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