#i am way more excited by this than i probably should be LOL

[jd-mp3]

HELLO?? SIRS???

[gayabeilles]

me, a former homestuck cosplayer, seeing all the other alastor cosplayers at the con wearing gray facepaint:

[bigbuffjoonie]

SCREAMS

Okay now that I’m more normal, this fic was so thrilling! Going through the mountain pass I was holding my breath too! The feeling of dread just building up until The Splashes just -chef kiss-!! Loved everything about this and I cannot wait to see pt 2! 💕

The Obsidian Pearl (I)

— pairing: mermaid seokjin x (f) reader — word count: 7.2k — warnings: yandere, descriptions of death/blood/violence — summary: Sailing through The Dead Man’s Passage is a death sentence and the whole crew knows it. But with the ship’s stocks dwindling fast, your captain is left with no other choice. When a haunting melody makes the crew jump ship one by one, you find yourself alone with the demon lurking in the murky red water. As the creature beckons you to jump into the icy ocean – “come to me, pet” – you find that you can’t do anything but obey.

“Captain, this is a bad idea.”

A hush falls over the deck, a few whispers being passed back and forth between the crew as they watch you challenge the captain’s decision. There’s an audible gulp somewhere behind you as the captain pins you with a hard gaze, his jaw clenched tight with annoyance.

He taps the map that’s spread out in front of him, voice leaving no room for argument as he says, “This is the fastest route.”

“That may be, Captain, but it’s not worth the risk. Haven’t you heard the stories? The numerous crews that have gone missing after sailing in this area? There’s a reason it’s called The Dead Man’s passage!”

Keep reading

[krysmcscience]

It’s finally done, guys – five whole pages of Narilamb AU comic AND MORE be upon you! (If you have trouble reading any of the text, view the full-size! These pages are huge!)

Yeesh, this took forever. <:)

There’s probably a ton of inconsistencies and anatomy/perspective wonkeries, but this was mostly just comic practice, so Oh Hekkin Well, Lol <:D

(Yes, I am aware the Gateway’s door isn’t present in the Afterlife, and the actual way in is just a pentagram portal. Yes, I put the door in there anyway because Artistic License, i.e. it felt more impactful for there to be a prison door of sorts to walk through to freedom, rather than just a bland boring portal on the ground. 😠)

anyway, i hate backgrounds so much lmao

Alternate ending and a buttload of bonus art under the cut, followed by goofy AU rambles and headcanon stuff:

I’m calling it the Revival AU. It’s not all that creative a title, and someone else has probably used it already, but I am too lazy to really care, LOL

Alternate ending page, which you will Definitely need to view the full-size for, Whoopsie Daisy:

The alternate ending was actually the first ending I finished things off with, because I had a brief badbrain moment where I forgot the emotional beat I initially wanted the comic to end on, and I tend to write comedy, anyway. I later remembered and drew out the proper ending, but I preserved and finished this one, too, because it still makes me giggle.

They had to go back for the followers off-screen in the AU’s real ending. And by ‘they’ I mean just the Lamb, because they weren’t about to ask three newly freed cats to go back into what used to be their prison. The Lamb DID spend some time watching Narinder and the bois enjoying the outdoors first, though:

In other news, here’s the Lamb and me making fun of my anatomy-drawing ‘skills’:

Meanwhile, if you’re wondering why the Lamb is just a-okay with how things went down vis a vis Their Murder, this bonus comic should answer at least some of your questions:

Ah, yes, also this is how they get engaged outside of the alternate ending. Forgot to mention that bit. XD (I already refuse to believe that Narinder is capable of flirting normally, so why would his initial marriage proposal be any better???)

Oh, and before any of them get a chance to actually head back to the cult grounds, there is one potential problem:

And by ‘problem’ I mean something Narinder intends to ignore for At Minimum a thousand years. Cuz he’s a petty bitch like that. :D

what do you mean i drew the lamb too tall compared to the background? clearly they’re standing on top of baal and aym lmao, why else would you think those two aren’t in this one??? (aym and baal got way too excited about finally being outside, you see, and their silly modes are nothing to sneeze at)

And, speaking of heading back to the cult grounds, I’m sure y’all would love to know how the Lamb’s followers felt about the brand new change in management:

It all went better than expected. <:D Tiny ramble now, feel free to skip down to the next comic.

Before you ask, no, the Lamb does not have any actual powers anymore, other than the immortality Narinder definitely grants them. The Red Crown just thinks it’s funny to suggest otherwise, and Narinder does nothing to discourage this. Also, the Lamb and Narinder aren’t actually married here yet, but, uh. Pretty safe to say that particular ritual directly follows the events of this comic. XD

Given how quickly he mellows out in canon, Narinder probably chills out a lot in this AU once he’s in charge of the cult, too, if only because 1.) He’s finally free, and 2.) He’s equally smitten with and distracted by the Lamb. He’s definitely in charge at least 95% of the time, though, because the Lamb never actually wanted to be a cult leader and, now that their time as a vessel is done, they just want to be a normal(ish) sheep who’s wholly devoted to their hot new divine husband.

Some followers do still have some valid concerns about these two being together, though, which I’m sure at least a few of you might share…

Unfortunately for any such concerns, the Lamb is a bonafide masochist in this AU. :D

They’re also 100% a sub, obviously

Anyone at all: Your relationship is problematic and potentially toxic

The Lamb: fuck yeah it is, it’s so hot~ OuO

Here’s just the last panel, made transparent for whatever nefarious purposes y’all might have for it:

Additional exchange Narinder and the Lamb have at some point, probably after the Lamb does a fatal whoopsie while out on a mission trip or in response to things getting a little too sadistic in the bedroom, ahaha:

Look, there is a very important distinction between life and death, and if you don’t understand that, then you’re probably not worthy of being the God of Death, anyway. (At least, according to Narinder, and ONLY Narinder.)

Last but not least, have these shittens:

~Such creative naming conventions I have utilized, lololol~ :D Anyway, there's a few deets on them in the rambles down below.

The rest is all ramble, so before I get to that, I’ll just say – likes and especially reblogs are very much appreciated!!! :D If you happen to really really REALLY like my stuff, meanwhile, I do have a link in my bio to my ko-fi page, where I’m accepting commissions and donations if you’re especially generous… ÓuÒ

Now, BE FREE IF YOU AIN’T DOWN FOR READING MY GOOFY RAMBLES

First ramble is re: Baal’s question of ‘Did it really work?’, since I didn’t feel like expanding on it in the comic proper, and it’s arguably pretty vague? He doesn’t ask because he doubts Narinder or his capabilities, exactly, but because neither Baal nor Aym have ever actually seen their god at full power before (he’s still technically not at full power here, either). It’s not expressly stated how soon the brothers were brought to Narinder after his imprisonment, but whether it was early on or after a length of time for Shamura to (somewhat) recover from his attack, he must have already been weakened, since I have no doubts that there was a huge battle that accompanied the Bishops working together to trap him. So, between that fight with all four of his siblings, sharing his power with a variety of vessels over time, and being chained immobile for a thousand years, he must have been severely weakened by the time he lent the Red Crown out to the Lamb, which would have only weakened him further.

I like to think this is how the Lamb is able to defeat him if they refuse to be sacrificed, despite how it took all four Bishops working together to subdue and chain Narinder in the first place.

All that aside, the three cats have been trapped in the Afterlife for so long that Baal also wanted verbal reassurance that they are all, indeed, actually able to leave it now – something that I headcanon isn’t possible without a significant amount of power (i.e. the Red Crown’s cooperation with its bearer/vessel).

(On a semi-related note, I don’t headcanon Aym and Baal as twins. I like sweetheart big bro Baal and snarky little goth bro Aym too much to have them be that close in age.)

Ah, teeny thing: If you noticed I switched up the art style for Narinder on the second page, that was intentional. It's sort of a visual indicator that there has been a Big Change for him - that being, how much power he has after sacrificing the Lamb. As for why I changed up his arms in the grass rollin' pic, I don't really subscribe to the notion that his arms are spooky bones because they're horrifically injured (beyond chain-chafing scars, that is), but rather just because he's the Bishop of Death, so he can change how normal-to-spooky they look at will. At some point I might doodle out how I imagine his appearance to range between least to most eldritch... 🤔

Next ramble, regarding Narinder’s feelings towards the Lamb...he was initially too focused on being freed from his imprisonment to form any real attachment to them. They were a tool for his use, first and foremost, but he did notice their intense devotion towards him. It was impossible not to notice, because the Lamb was always very happy to see him, even if it was because they died during a crusade (yet again). He wasn’t originally planning to revive them once he was freed, either, because he saw no real point to it – after all, they were already dead when they first met him, just as any other mortal would be when meeting him in the Afterlife, so death has very little real consequence in his eyes. But, once the chains were off, and it really sank in that he stood to lose the most devoted follower he’s ever had, he decided…why put their soul to rest for good or leave them stuck in the Afterlife when he could just as easily revive them again? And why not reward them for their hard work, anyway? Not only would it cost him nothing by comparison, but the future devotion that could come of it would surely make up for his (bare minimum) effort in reviving them.

He wasn’t expecting to get a full dose of that devotion and a smiling face so soon after killing them, though~ :3c (because the Lamb is a bonafide freak, and not-so-secretly into the fucked up power dynamics going on here, lol)

I should mention here that I am firmly of the belief that any non-god/vessel who crosses through the Gateway and into the Afterlife just straight up dies. So, Aym and Baal? Also straight up dead, from the second Shamura brought them through. Their souls were just never put to rest so that Narinder could have some company – if only according to Shamura. Narinder kept the two around mostly out of bewilderment, because honestly, who are these kittens, and what is Shamura’s game here, anyway??? They never even explained anything, they just tossed these kittens into the Afterlife and LEFT!!! At any rate, Aym and Baal being dead is how I explain why their souls apparently become lost in the void if they’re killed, along with the added complications required to revive the two because of it.

So, with those deets in mind, and given a bit of time, if Narinder hadn’t chosen to revive the Lamb, and also hadn’t chosen to put their soul to rest, they still would have woken up at some point, despite being as straight up dead as Aym and Baal. Who, don’t worry, were also properly revived while Narinder was waiting for the Lamb to wake up. Because I am also firmly of the belief that, first, the dead cannot leave the Afterlife without the use of a ritual/relic (and can't stay in the living world for long regardless), and second, dead followers’ devotion isn’t anywhere near as potent as that of the living, given how much more the living stand to lose.

Final ramble, regarding the Lamb’s feelings towards Narinder, and why they’re so devoted to him…

Well, you don’t spend most of your life on the run with your steadily-dwindling herd, trying to evade the ongoing genocide of your species, without becoming a little fucked up in the head. Maybe a lot fucked up in the head. Life is suffering, so might as well have fun with it, right? Maybe start finding death and pain to be kind of hilarious, even a little bit hot, once everyone you know and love is dead and gone, leaving you all alone? And maybe after that, there’s something comforting in how, despite the cold, cruel uncertainties of life, at least you can always count on the inevitability of death, patiently waiting for you until your very last breath? Who knows. Either way, as soon as the Lamb was killed, and they learned that the literal God of Death was offering them a second chance at life and vengeance via effective immortality, they were 100% ride-or-die-devoted all at once. Turns out death is kinder than life – go figure. (Of course, it helps that Narinder is 100% their type.)

They weren’t put off by Narinder’s thinly-veiled sadism or manipulations, either – they’re not too different in those regards, albeit opting for vastly different methods. It’s a very ‘two sides of the same coin’ sort of deal. In order to stay alive once they were made the last of their kind, the Lamb had no qualms with using others to their advantage, and that did not change once they were revived and expected to run a cult. They didn’t care for the position of authority, though – being a sheep and all, they’re much more of a follower than a leader, and thus greatly appreciated Narinder’s need for control. With how they had to keep on their toes for so long, the Lamb was also pretty good at reading people by the time they died, so they could recognize that a lot of Narinder’s posturing was just that – posturing. Dude’s 95% bluster and only 5% bite. He could obviously be vicious when he wanted or needed to (the Bishops' injuries were clear proof of that), but underneath his outer layer of cruelty was a generous layer of tsundere, and underneath all THAT was a soft squishy middle sibling velcro cat in desperate need of attention and affection.

(Which, for the record, he Did Not feel comfortable getting from Aym and Baal – Narinder still has no idea why the fuck Shamura sent them to him, beyond acting as keepers at best or trying to sabotage his attempts to escape at worst. Which, he thought HE sabotaged in turn, by guiding the kittens into being his devoted disciples instead. He thought he was very clever for it. ‘I outsmarted Shamura!’ he thought, despite that there was never anything there to outsmart. ‘What do you mean, Shamura sent your kittens to me for company?’ he demands of Forneus later. It may or may not lead him to pull Shamura out of Purgatory just so he can shake them and scream about how they should have Fucking Explained that!!!)

But, getting back on track as to why the Lamb was so willing to be sacrificed, I cannot stress this enough – if you pay even a minimal amount of attention to what he’s saying, Narinder is REALLY NOT SUBTLE about his intentions. ‘Death is of little consequence.’ ‘Followers are for you to use to your advantage.’ ‘Sacrifice a follower to absorb more power.’ So, yeah, the Lamb knew exactly what would be expected of them once the other Bishops were dead. They knew Narinder would expect them to die for him one last time. But, after all, death is of little consequence (not to mention hot), so when the time came, they wanted to see him freed, even if it meant oblivion for them in the end.

He’d given them a second life, and the ability to avenge their kin, and they felt indebted to him for that – so, while they were still pretty glum about the possibility that they might not get to see him free of his chains, nothing beyond their devotion and debt to him mattered. They never wanted all the drama and expectations that came with the Red Crown’s power, anyway, so, better for Narinder to have it back so that he could deal with it. What he did with the Lamb afterward would be up to him, and seeing as he was their god, they’d accept his decision gladly.

Were they in love with him by that point? Oh, obsessively so, but only in the devotional sense – romance was nowhere on their mind nor radar. That is, until he unexpectedly revived them again, told them he still needed them, and then offered down his hand to help them up.

The Lamb fell HARD for him in that moment. :3c

And now, a tiny shitten ramble. Lu and Li are twins, because sheep tend to have those a lot, and are conceived not long after the Lamb and Narinder’s marriage ceremony. Lu is the minutes older one, but Li is much more mature. I have put no further thought into these two, other than that they are utter menaces, birthed by the Lamb, cling hard to both their parents but especially Narinder (who spoils them rotten), and they are both genderfluid, using whichever pronouns/names they feel like at any given time. They are also both intersex, same as the Lamb, who was initially infertile up until Something Something Vague Magic, which I have also put no further thought into ¯\_(シ)_/¯

oh, and before anyone tries to suggest i headcanon this AU’s lamb as trending more female due to them giving birth or whatever, no, no, a thousand times no, they might have a vag, but they've also got a dick, and even if it's not as big as they'd like, they still know how to use it

Finally, the very tentative name for the Lamb in this AU is Yazdi, which is really just another name for the Baluchi breed of sheep XD (Not that the Lamb is this specific breed, I just didn’t like any of the other sheep-related names I found, ahaha...)

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW (collapses into an exhausted pile of goopy limbs)

[junkissed]

goodnight n go

member — fwb!vernon x reader genre — smut, angst, non-idol au word count — 1.7k synopsis — you keep coming back for more, but every night ends the same. maybe this time things will be different. warnings — mentions of alcohol, drunk sex, car sex, guitarist!vernon, rock band!hhu, no physical descriptions of reader, vernon is afraid of commitment, sad ending for this part but there will be a part 2 with a happy ending !! notes — before you ask, yes this is based on the ariana song lol but also inspired by black eye because it's been stuck in my head the past few days. as always, thanks to @onlymingyus for reading over this for me <3 i'm still on hiatus and requests are closed but i randomly had inspiration to write something for vernon so i hope you enjoy! i am planning on writing more for this story, but i'm back at uni and my time is already quite limited, so i'll try to write more when i can! reblogs, comments, and asks are super appreciated, it means a lot and helps me keep writing so please lmk if you liked it :)

“hey, you wanna get drinks tonight?”

as usual, that’s how it starts.

you probably should have said no. you’d played this game before. you knew exactly what hansol meant when he offered to hang out after band practice, because it was never just “hanging out”.

you don’t even know why you still go to practices anymore. for a long time you’d avoided them; it wasn’t really your style, and you were never interested in being a groupie for their local gigs. your roommate seungcheol always invited you to every practice, and every time you declined with the excuse of homework or other plans, but cheol finally convinced you to come just one time.

at first, it had been because he wanted you to hear a new song they were working on and he’d wanted to know how you liked it before they played it at an upcoming show. but then he’d introduced you to the rest of his bandmates, and after that there was no going back.

you couldn’t help the way your eyes always gravitated towards hansol, who insisted that you call him his real name instead of his stage name that everyone else called him. from the very first practice, you were captivated by him: the way his long fingers seem to dance along the neck of his guitar so effortlessly, the way his voice rasps when he sings, the way your breath catches in your throat when he grips the microphone stand and rolls his head back, lips parted in ecstasy.

he’s addictive, and it’s exactly the reason why you find yourself in the backseat of his car over and over again.

every time, it was easy to pretend that things would be different. you’d walk into the bar together and sit at the table in the back, order a few drinks, chat for a while about nothing. did you like the new stuff we played tonight? yeah, i know cheol is really excited to perform it saturday. you been doing any writing lately? mmm, a little. i’ve been feeling inspired. we could go back to my place and i could show you. except he never does.

hansol wasn’t a bad guy. he always paid for your drinks no matter how many times you offered to pick up the tab, he was polite, he listened to what you had to say. he just didn’t want more than that, and that’s where it all fell apart. you’d screw around for a while, then you’d part ways and wouldn’t speak to each other until next week. you never went to see them play shows, he never texted, you never called, never went on a real date besides meeting in the same bar down the street every thursday night after practice.

he seemed fine with that. you weren’t. and yet every time, you ended up back in his arms.

he groans into your mouth, pushing his hips into you and pinning you harder against the faded leather seats of his old honda. his lips are sloppy but eager, messily pressing his mouth into yours as his fingers tangle in the hair at the base of your neck. you can taste the beer and smoke on his breath, but for some reason it doesn’t bother you. maybe you’re used to it, or maybe it’s just because it’s him. you don’t want to know which reason is the truth.

he kisses you until you’re dizzy, and you can’t tell if it’s from the alcohol or from the thrill of kissing him once again. it’s a high you’re convinced you’ll never get tired of, although you’re not quite sure yet if it’s one that he will.

hansol always lets you set the pace, but tonight he can’t seem to keep his hands to himself. both of your shirts met the floor of his car what seems like hours ago, leaving you in just your pants as he makes out with you as if it’s the first and last time he’ll get that chance. his fingers breeze over your waist the same way they breeze over his guitar strings when he plays: careful yet greedy, each touch intentional yet impulsive as he grips your waist.

he drags his fingers higher and it sends a shiver down your spine, arching your hips up against him and rolling your head back against the seat’s headrest. if there’s only one upside to this relationship, it’s that he’s good at this. really good. if he weren’t, then you wouldn’t have spent so many nights letting him fuck you in the parking lot of your shitty local bar. it does something for your confidence knowing that he must feel the same about you, or else he wouldn’t keep inviting you out. at the very least, this arrangement is mutual, even if you wish it wasn’t.

his hips rock against your crotch again, and even through both of your clothes you can feel how hard he is. your mind is clouded, everything’s a haze, and all you can think about is how badly you want him. the warmth of his skin, the gentle scratch of his nails on the back of your neck, his long eyelashes that flutter against your cheek as he kisses you.

you feel your hands slide haphazardly down his bare chest, fumbling over his hips as you tug on the waistband of his jeans. none of it feels graceful, not like the way he handles his music. it’s sloppy, desperate, clumsy, and it’s everything you need right now.

he manages to lean back from you enough to undo his pants and push them down to his knees, but his mouth is back on yours in an instant. somehow you end up on your back across the seats, gazing up at him with slack lips as his thin silver chain dangles over your face. you might not remember a lot of what happens on these nights when you’re with him, but you’ll always remember this moment. him hovering above you with heavily lidded eyes, biting his lip and cursing as he pushes into you, is etched into your mind in a way you simultaneously love and hate. love because it feels so good, hate because it never lasts.

the rest of those nights never stands out in your memory. you remember feeling good, you remember trembling in his arms and gasping and moaning and crying in pleasure, but the images are too fuzzy to make out. you don’t really need to reflect on them anyway; you know he’ll just bring you out next week and do it all over again.

hansol kisses you once more after you’re both finally spent, but the kisses afterwards are always different. more… hesitant, more uncertain. none of the passion and desperation that you’ve come to crave from him. not what you really want.

“i can drive you home,” he offers once he’s finished cleaning you up. for once you think he might genuinely mean it, but you can never be sure enough to take that chance. you want him to drive you home. god, you want him to so bad. to have him come over with you and stay the night, stay another night and another until your apartment isn’t just yours anymore, that’s what you’ve wanted all this time. and it’s what you’ll never have.

“i’ll call an uber,” you answer.

“i’ll wait with you, then.”

the silence that settles over his car is heavy as you climb back into the front passenger seat. you want to tell him to get in the uber with you, stay more than just a couple hours with you in the furthest back corner of the bar parking lot that’s too far to be illuminated by streetlights. you want to argue that he’s too drunk even to drive himself, that he needs to come home with you and sleep it off together in the comfort of your bed, but you know it’s not true and it won’t work. this is a conversation you’ve had many times before. every night you’ve spent with him blurs into the next, always the same. 

sometimes you want to laugh at how naive you are, for thinking he’d eventually come to his senses and realize there’s more to you than a good lay before a gig. sometimes you want to grab him and shake him by the shoulders and tell him to grow the fuck up, give him an ultimatum and make him tell you what he wants from you or else put an end to it all. sometimes you just want to cry, to mourn your wasted time when you’re fully aware it’s never going to lead to something more, no matter how badly you want it and how hard you try.

no matter how many times you get your hopes up, no matter how many times you pray and beg and plead with god and the universe and every other higher power to get him to realize this can’t keep going on the way it is forever, nothing ever changes. you’re never going to stop running to him when he calls, and he’s never going to stop calling.

finally another car pulls into the lot, and you manage to pull yourself out of his car. you hear your name behind you and you stumble, swaying on your feet as he rolls down his window.

maybe this time will be different.

he says his usual goodbyes and goodnights, flashing you a loose grin and a wave as his engine sputters to life, and he asks if you’re planning on coming to practice next week. 

and you find yourself nodding.

you’re left standing there, your head and your heart pounding, watching his headlights fade as he drives away, until you’ve stood there for so long that your ride starts honking and calling for you to get in the car so you can leave.

maybe next time will be different.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, please consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

if you want to be notified when i post a new fic, you can join my taglist here!

taglist — located in the replies

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part One

Summary: Some of your closest friends betray you and somehow push you into the arms of someone unsuspected. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 5.7k Warnings: Mentions of cheating resulting in pregnancy and explicit language...I think that's it lol (Barely edited per usual lmao) a/n: You guys seemed really excited for this fic so I'm gonna make it a miniseries since even the poll results were so close so anyways I hope you enjoy! Requested by the lovely @kkusadmirer 💜

"Is everything ready?" I ask my best friend Jina for the hundredth time today. "Yes y/n calm down. This party is going to be perfect don't worry" she says with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes, making me even more apprehensive but decide it's best to just take her for her word instead of digging deeper. 

"You're right, I should probably just go back upstairs and get ready huh?" I say and start heading upstairs to take the curlers out of my hair and finish up my makeup in her old bedroom. "Let me know if you need help, I'll just be putting the finishing touches on everything in the meantime" she calls after me and I respond with a quick 'okay' before running up the rest of the steps I had been ascending.

I walk down the hallway lost in thought and am stopped in my tracks when I find myself bumping into someone, almost falling over but he luckily catches me before I even have a chance to stumble back more than a few steps. 

"Careful there" he teases and I look up and apologize immediately. "I'm sorry Mr. Jeon I wasn't watching where I was going" I say quickly and he smiles at my flustered state. "It's okay darling don't worry about it" he says in a deep tone that has always gotten to me. I take a quick step back to create some much needed distance and to cover up the awkwardness that had settled in. 

"Thank you again for letting us hold our engagement party in your home. Are you sure you still don't mind?" I ask him as well for the hundredth time as if we had time to change things with mine and my fiancé's relatives already on the way. 

"Y/n if I minded I would've said no a long time ago. Don't worry, I'd do anything for you, since you and Jared have been such amazing friends to my daughter. It truly means more to me than you know" he says placing his hand on my bicep to aide in showing his sincerity. 

"Of course Mr. Jeon. Moving to a new state in the middle of your Sophomore year of  college has gotta be difficult for anyone so I'm just happy we could be there for her" I say smiling up at him. He stares at me for a second, studying my features before breaking out of the slight trace he had caught himself in to continue the conversation. 

"I'm sorry you're probably wanting to finish getting ready and I'm holding you up" he says taking his hand off of me and stepping aside so I can walk down the hallway to my intended destination. 

"Don't worry about it. We've got plenty of time as it is so I'm in no rush. Thanks again Mr Jeon" I say, quickly wrapping up the conversation and walk into Jina's room. Before I'm able to close the door though he makes it a point to remind me of something I've always forgotten.

"Haven't we agreed upon calling me Jungkook? Mr. Jeon makes me feel so old" he teases and we both laugh at his words. "Thank you, Jungkook" I say and he smiles, satisfied with the change. "You're welcome" he replies with an heir of sensuality that leaves my brain buzzing and I close the door before either of us has the chance to say another word. 

He's always made me nervous but why does today feel different? It's not like his playful nature is anything new. He's acted like this since the first day I met him and when I had brought it up to Jina she just said he was being friendly so I never really gave it a second thought. 

There's no denying he's a handsome man and from what I can tell him and his ex wife had Jina when they were quite young so he's not anywhere near old enough to make it seem a bit strange but I tend to just deal with the butterflies by ignoring them as much as I can. 

He makes sure to be respectful when Jared's around and he hasn't crossed any lines to my knowledge so I don't mind it. It makes me feel confident more than anything and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. 

I shake off those thoughts and finish getting ready before I start to panic about being late and end up finishing up a lot sooner than I had planned and as I'm putting on my heels I hear a faint knock at the door. 

"Come in" I call out and my fiancé pops his head in from behind the door. "Aw I thought I would catch you while you were changing" he says with a fake pout leaving me smiling and shaking my head at him. "You'll get to do that plenty of times once we're married you pervert" I tease and he scoffs playfully. 

"You know, now that I think about it I kind of am a pervert aren't I?" he says while stalking towards me, making my breath hitch and my adrenaline start pumping but I have to tell myself to calm down before I do anything stupid. "After the wedding I warn and he backs off like he always does.

I smile and get up from the bed I had been sitting on and give him a quick kiss but he holds onto the back of my neck, keeping me there for a little while longer and deepening the kiss. "You look gorgeous" he whispers against my lips and I smile before giving him a quick peck and pulling back to look at him.

"You don't look half bad yourself" I taunt and he scoffs before granting me a sarcastic 'thank you'. "I'm kidding baby you look handsome as always" I say and he smiles at that and places a quick kiss on my cheek before taking my hand and leading me downstairs to where we're met with a few of our family and friends having already arrived. 

"You should've told me they were here sooner" I whisper to him while I wave at them as we walk downstairs. "I didn't want to rush you" he replies, giving my hand a gentle squeeze leaving my heart fluttering at how thoughtful he had been.

"Thank you love" I say looking at him as if he's the only one I need. "For what?" he chuckles, studying my features almost as if he's committing them to memory. "For wanting to marry me" I say and he laughs at my cute sentiment. "Thank you for saying yes" he replies and at that we start mingling together throughout the crowd and thanking everyone for coming. 

~~~~~

We part ways after a few more groups of people come in and around the time we're going to bring out the champagne I start to look around to see if I can find him so we can both be ready to make a toast once everyone's gotten a glass.

As I look around and ask a few people where he might be they point toward the far end of the house where not many people had wandered to and so I curiously make my way over to the room I had assumed he would be in but before I'm even able to put my hand on the door I hear the voices of not only Jared but Jina as well. 

"We have to tell her" I hear her say and stop short, my heartbeat immediately raising as I hold my breath, waiting for the response. "You told me you were on the pill though. How did this happen?" and at that my heart breaks. "I don't know I guess I forgot to take a couple of them and-" "And so what? You decided that screwing me without protection would work out just fine? Fuck Jina" Jared cuts her off and I hold my hand over my mouth to stop the sobs that I know are sure to come. 

"You were the one that said you wanted to stop using them" she defends. "Oh and so now it's my fault. Jina we both agreed to that and you know it" he says and at that the room falls silent for a moment before he speaks up again.

"What are we gonna do?" he mumbles, leaving the choice in her hands. "We need to tell her because I'm not getting rid of this baby. I don't care if you're going to be in our kid's life or not but either way we're telling her" she says, standing firm on what she thinks is right. 'She should've thought about that before she started fucking my boyfriend' I think to myself and wait for the conversation to continue.

"She deserves to know" she says in a hushed tone and they both agree moments later that they'll tell me after the party to avoid both of our families catching wind of it and at that I walk away as quietly as I can, heading to the bathroom across the house to collect myself before I even try to face anyone. 

'How the fuck could they do this to me? How could they do this to us? Did everything the three of us did together really not matter? All of this love that I gave Jared and he gave me made me feel like we were gonna last forever but I guess my wants and needs weren't enough for him. He wanted what he wanted and found that in my best fucking friend. 

I chuckle dryly at that thought and how ironic it sounds at the moment. The wants to avoid the drama of the rest of the family knowing? Well they don't have that kind of luxury anymore. 

I collect myself a few moments later and make my way out of the bathroom to intermingle again until I happen upon my soon to be ex fiancé in the crowd. 

"Hey honey" I say and I can see him trying to hold back the guilt at my words and I hold back from ripping his head off for the sake of what I'm about to do. "Should we go ahead and bring out the champagne and make a toast?" I ask and he nods his head agreeing wordlessly. 

"Great I'll ask Jina to help us out" I say and I can see how stiff his whole body becomes after I mention her name and he laughs it off and walks closer to me and I hold out my hand for him and guide us both over to where we've placed everything for the toasts. 

~~~~

"Does everyone have a glass?" I call out and everyone says yes and Jina makes her way around, filling everyone's glasses but her own. "Okay great Jina go ahead and grab a glass and then if you guys don't mind we'd like to pose a toast!" I say and everyone places their full attention on both Jared and I who are standing side by side. 

I watch as Jina tentatively fills her glass half full knowing full well that she won't be drinking any of that but I singled her out as a way to make her even more uncomfortable. Serves her right honestly but it's only just begun. 

"Okay everyone, firsts things first I would just like to thank all of you for coming. It is just so wonderful we could all gather here together and the fact that you all made the effort to come and celebrate Jared and I is just something that I won't ever forget so thank you again from the bottom of my heart" I say and hear murmurs of 'You're welcome's and 'Thank you for inviting us' throughout the crowd and I continue on after those die down.

"Another person I would like to thank would be my best friend who I couldn't have any of this without her including being able to host this party in her's and her father's wonderful home so thank you both for that" I continue and I look for Jungkook in the crowd and see him raising his glass to me and I turn my attention to Jina moments later and see the forced smile on her face and I smile back at her and take a deep breath before continuing. 

"You know Jina has been such a great friend to both Jared and I and the countless memories we've made together are something that I'll always hold close to my heart. One memory in particular is one that I think we'll all remember for the rest of our lives is one that I would like to share with you all" I say and I watch as Jared and Jina make nervous glances at each other but I hear the room fill with words mentioning how cute our friendship is and how it's nice to have close friends that get along. Oh boy they're about to know just how well we all get along. 

"This one actually just happened not too long ago, in fact it was just today wasn't it guys?" I say making eye contact with the both of them and I can see as both of them realize that they've been caught. 

"Yeah it's funny I was looking for Jared not too long ago to try to find where he had scurried off to and low and behold I found him and Jina having a cute little chat together just over there" I say and motion to the secluded part of the house where they had been and I see the crowd go from happy to confused. 

"They had been talking about how they had a surprise and they needed to tell me after the party but I figured that I would just give them an opportunity to say it now so all of us can hear it together. Would you guys like to share it with everyone?" I ask the two of them and wait a few moments before Jared tries to shut me down. 

"I think that's probably a conversation we should have in private right Jina?" Jared says, pleading with her to back him up. "Oh are you guys too shy? Don't worry I can say it" I counter, brushing him off. "Y/n I don't really think that's necessary" Jina now tries to reason with me but I'm way too far gone by now.

"Why not? Doesn't everyone deserve to know that you're pregnant" I say, pausing for the rest of the family to smile at the surprise and some of them start to congratulate her but before they can get too far I continue on. 

"Yeah she's pregnant with Jared's baby! Isn't that so sweet?" I say and at that point the room goes so silent you would hear a pin drop and I break it by continuing to rub salt into the wound. 

"I know right? It's so crazy isn't it? It was a surprise to me too. Congratulations to the both of you" I say and down my drink while they stand there speechless as does the rest of the crowd. 

"So yeah anyways thank you all so much for coming and get home safe!" I say and make an exit into the backyard while Jared and Jina chase after me. 

"Y/n, y/n wait. Please" Jina calls after me first, following as I make my way over to the clearing behind the house and away from prying eyes. "Why should I wait huh? It's not like you waited and thought 'Hey maybe it's not the best idea to be raw doggin my best friend's boy friend' or were you guys still fucking by the time you asked me to marry you?" I ask the two of them and they both just stand there in silence. 

"You know what, you guys are perfect for each other. The whore I thought was my best friend and the whore who chased after her because neither of you could keep it in your pants. Thanks a lot, have a nice life" I say and storm off into the small clearing behind Jungkook's house, praying they won't follow me. 

"Oh and another thing" I say before walking too far, "I'm keeping the ring to compensate for emotional damage you bastard" I spit at my ex and his jaw drops, never having heard words like that come out of my mouth ever let alone directed at him. 

"Baby wait I can explain" he says trying a pathetic excuse of trying to get me to get him to hear him out. "Pretty sure I heard everything I needed to hear when you were having your little rendezvous earlier" I say, fully admitting to listening in on their conversation. 

"If I never see either of you again it'll be too soon" I say and continue on into the clearing, walking just far enough to be out of their view. "We really fucked up didn't we?" I hear Jina say and soon hear Jared scoff in return. "We fucked up? No you fucked up! You should've been more responsible" he throws back at her and storms off. "What the fuck Jared don't you dare walk away from me" she yells and chases after him, following him back into the house. 

After taking a few deep breaths and convincing myself over and over again that this is for the best and I'm better off without them I slowly make my way back into the yard and sit on the bench that's furthest away from everything, hoping no one finds me out here. Luckily it does the trick and I'm able to avoid facing anyone from the party and soon hear all of their cars leaving and the place falls silent. 

"They're all gone now if you want to come inside" Jungkook says, walking over to me tentatively, making sure he doesn't do something to make me run off. I look up at him with a tear streaked face and try to smile but ultimately end up hanging my head, hiding what little emotions I've let myself show and he walks over and sits on the far side of the bench I'm on. He doesn't say anything, he just sits with me and lets me ride the wave of emotions I'm feeling but also letting me know he's there if I need him.

I let out a few shaky breath after having let a few more tears fall before collecting myself and drying my eyes. "I'm sorry" I whisper and he turns towards me with a confused look on his face. "Whatever for?" he questions, puzzled as to why I could possibly be apologizing. 

"For the show I put on back there. I was just so mad when I overheard them talking and I don't know, I felt like I wanted to humiliate them since they decided to fuck behind my back like how fucked up can you be to sleep with your best friend's boyfriend?" I spout off and then look over and remember who I'm talking to. 

"I- I didn't mean. I'm sorry Mr. Jeon" I apologize again and hang my head in shame. I'm met with a chuckle as a response and when I look up at him I can see that he's clearly very amused. "What's so funny?" I question and he continues to laugh. 

"I'm sorry darling, just seeing how horrified you looked when you remembered that you were talking shit about Jina to her father was kind of hilarious and honestly adorable" he chuckles and I let out a breath and smile at him, happy he wasn't offended by it. 

"I wasn't thinking straight, I'm sorry" I apologize again, feeling so so guilty for bringing all of this drama to his house. "Hey, you have nothing to apologize for" he says softly, placing his hand on top on mine. The one that happens to be sitting on my thigh and I gulp at the sight of his big hand enveloping the sight of my hand and now has his fingers resting high up on the inside of my thigh. 

"It's not your fault that they're both fucked up and you got caught in the crossfire okay? So please don't apologize about that again" he says and I nod my head mindlessly, my eyes still focused on the hand that is now squeezing my thigh in reassurance but I can't get past the feeling of having his hands on me like this. 

He stands up a second later, taking his hand off of me and I look up at him, almost as if questioning why he stopped and he simply smiles at my cute reaction. "Let's head inside alright? It's gonna start getting cold out here soon" he says and I nod my head, wordlessly following him back into his home. 

"Did you want a drink?" he asks and I jump at the opportunity. "Yeah I'll just take this" I say while grabbing one of the barely opened champagne bottles. "Did you want a glass?" he chuckles, watching as I take a big gulp out of the bottle. "No need, this is fine. Might as well not let it go to waste right?" I say and he hums in acknowledgement while poring himself a drink. 

I walk around his living room and take in everything about it, reminiscing about all the memories and shared laughter there had been here over the last couple of years and find my mind wandering a bit. "I'm really gonna miss this place" I say, meaning to keep it to myself but accidentally voicing it loud enough for Jungkook to hear as well. 

"You're welcome to come back here anytime you'd like" he replies, startling me when I realize he's gotten closer and is now sitting on the couch directly behind where I stand, facing the mantle and looking at the various pictures placed on it. Pictures of Jina, Jared and I over the years, ones that no doubt Jungkook had taken. 

"I always hated this picture" I say mindlessly and I hear him get up off the couch so he can see which one I'm referring to. "Oh the one where I took all of you to the beach house a few years ago for your birthday? Why? Didn't you have fun?" Jungkook questions, genuinely surprised with my reaction to it. 

"No it's not that, I had a great time. I just feel like I look like a wet dog in that picture" I admit and I'm granted with a little chuckle beside me. "Hey" I whine and glance over at him, my breath hitching when I realize just how close he's gotten. 

"You know what? Now that I think about it I don't really like that picture either" he says and I turn my body to fully face him, highly offended and demanding he explain himself. "I didn't like the way that Jared was touching you that day. He couldn't keep his hands off you and I know that it was making you uncomfortable" he says, lowering his voice an octave and causing a shiver to run through my body. 

"How did you-" "When a man really pays attention and cares for you he can tell from the slightest change how their woman is feeling. I guess he just never got the memo" he says, glaring at Jared in the picture and how he unashamedly has his hand placed directly on my ass while I'm wearing a swimsuit that I had already felt uncomfortable in in the first place. 

My mind goes into overdrive with what those words could've possibly meant. 'Was he paying that close of attention to me that he noticed something small like that? Has he been jealous of Jared? Does he care for me?' are just some of the questions that start swirling around in my brain and before I can register what had happened next he's gone and sat on the couch and is suggesting I come sit down as well. 

"You've had a long day don't you think?" he asks and I nod my head and sit on the other side of the couch making sure to keep proper distance between us. "Yeah I guess you could say that" I chuckle dryly and take a drink from the champagne bottle I still have in my hand but end up spilling it on myself. 

"Shit" I say and Jungkook quickly grabs a napkin to help clean up having spilled some on the couch as well. "I'm sorry" I apologize, constantly finding more and more reasons to apologize and he shuts me down again. "A little champagne never hurt anybody don't worry about it" he says, brushing it off and leaving me feeling a little less guilty. 

"Why don't I grab you a glass and give you some of my clothes to wear so if we have another little mishap it won't be as big of a deal" he offers and before I can refuse he's already given me a glass and is halfway up the stairs. Gosh my brain really must be working in slow motion already. 

~~~~~

After Jungkook gives me a big t shirt and sweats I change into them and tie the drawstring tight to aide in keeping the pants up and look in the mirror of the bathroom I had been changing in and realize how much of a mess I look like right now with smudges of mascara under my eyes and my nose all red from all of the crying I had been doing earlier. 

I quickly wash and dry my face and throw my hair up and out of the way since at this point theres no saving this look and just accept defeat, walking out in my now more casual look and find him sporting an almost identical one. 

"Feel better?" he asks and I nod my head and walk towards where he's standing. "Come here" he says holding out his arm and pulling me into a hug. I melt in his embrace and almost start tearing up a bit again, but push back a little and softly break apart from his embrace before the two of us sit down. 

"I don't know how to feel honestly. I feel angry and sad and betrayed and relieved and heart broken and I don't know. I'm just confused" I start and he nods his head, encouraging me to continue and so I do. 

"We've been together since before Jina and I had ever met and things had always been so good between us and then when Jina came along it felt like things had gotten even better if that's makes sense. We had our three amigos group going and whenever we were together it felt like the rest of the world didn't matter. Or I guess at least that's how I felt" I say and take a shaky breath in and out before preparing to say the next part. 

"When Jared and I got together, I told him right off the bat that I wanted to save myself for marriage and he respected that. I will admit that we both had gotten close to breaking that boundary I set  once or twice but he always backed off when I asked him to and I was thankful for that. Guys my age or guys in general don't really respect that sort of outlook anymore so the fact that he was more or less willing to date me after knowing that gave me hope for us" I say, letting everything off my chest.   

I down my glass and pour myself another one before continuing on and I take into account that he's watching my every move. "I figured 'If he had a problem with it and got tired of it then he would've dumped me' or 'He's had really good self control all of these years so that must mean there's something special between us'. So when he asked me to marry him I said yes without thinking twice. I had my knight in shining armor, the one who waited for me and I couldn't be happier" I scoff, taking another gulp of champagne. 

"Looks like he waited to have me but got someone else to fulfill his needs on the side" I mumble and down the rest of my glass before pouring another and I can see the concern in Jungkook's eyes growing but I pay no mind to it. 

"You know after all that I just can't help but wonder 'Was it all worth it? Was saving myself and in the end losing the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with worth it?' At this point my virginity is becoming more of a hassle than anything and honestly I don't want it anymore" I say, finally voicing how I had been feeling about keeping myself pure for a while. 

"I feel like it would be best if I just got it over with and went on with my life you know?" I say, finally looking at Jungkook and I can see how dilated his pupils are and how ragged his breath has gotten, doing a horrible job at concealing it.

"Can I ask you something Mr. Jeon?" I question, leaning towards him, a new gained confidence flowing through me from all the alcohol that I had consumed in such a short time. Downing glass after glass throughout our whole evening. "Jungkook" he rasps and I feel a fluttery feeling building in my stomach. 

"I'm sorry, I always seem to forget. Jungkook, can I ask you something?" I repeat placing my hand on his thigh, feeling the muscle tense up at the contact but he nods nevertheless and waits for me to continue. "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" I question, wondering what his experience might've been like. 

"Um, when I was about eighteen I guess. It was right before I graduated high school" he answers truthfully and I nod my head, mulling over what I plan to say next.

"It seems like a man of your age has had his fair share of sex am I right?" I ask and see him gulp at my assumption. "I guess you could say that" he responds and leans back a bit when I get closer. "Mr. Jeon do you have a girlfriend right now? Someone you might be seeing?" I ask, making sure that in my tipsy state I won't make the same mistake my hopeless excuse of a best friend and ex made. 

"No, I uh I'm not seeing anyone" he says quickly and I nod my head and wait a moment to get my words together. "Do you think you would mind taking my virginity?" I ask and at that his jaw drops, not expecting to be asked something like that straight away but in this state I guess you could say I'm full of surprises. 

"I- What?" he asks, confused and concerned as to if I actually meant what I said and not only that but clarifying to make sure he's heard me right. "I'm asking you if you would take my virginity. You said you'd do anything for me remember?" reminding him of his words from earlier in the day. 

"Y/n I think you might've had a little bit too much to drink" he says scooting back from me to create some distance but I close that distance moments later. "No I'm fine, I haven't even had that much silly" I say, slowly starting to slur my words but still conscious enough to make them coherent. 

"Look I think that's something you should keep until you have a chance to give it to someone special. Someone who you care about and cares about you too" he says, trying to softly reject me but it falls of deff ears.

"I care about you though. Don't you care about me?" I pout and he shakes his head and tries hard to hide a smile but fails. "Of course I care about you darling but I think you're too confused and too drunk to be making this sort of decision" he say holding my shoulders at arms length to keep me from getting any closer to him.

"It's okay Mr. Jeon I know what I'm doing. Oh! I mean Jungkook" I say cutely, leaning in a bit more and his arms give in, letting me get a bit closer so as to not harm either one of us. "Don't worry I won't tell Jina" I say and he clears this throat at the sound of his daughter's name. 

"Y/n I really don't think this is a good idea" he says, watching almost helplessly as I place my hand on his shoulder and use it to anchor myself as I climb onto his lap and although his words have said otherwise, his hands are the ones that guide me by my hips to sit on his lap, giving me a boost of confidence in my decision.

"Can you do this for me?" I ask and his eyes ping pong between mine, seeing how blown out my pupils are and notices how hot my skin has become. He stays silent and just takes in all of my features and waits for my next move. I lean in closer to him and run my fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck. 

"Just take it" I say against his lips and without a seconds hesitation he grabs the back of my head and smashes his lips against mine. 

It's a mess of lips and tongue and teeth, accompanied by the sound of him groaning and pulling me closer and me moaning at the feeling of being desired by someone like him. Someone strong and confident and undeniably sexy. Someone who wants me just as much as I want him but before I can fully grasp what's about to happen I feel myself slipping away and lose control of my body. 

"Y/n?" Jungkook questions feeling my body slump against him after I had broken the kiss and rested my head on his shoulder. He smiles at the realization that I had fallen asleep in the midst of it all and wordlessly stands up, carrying me off into the guest bedroom and laying me down to sleep there for the night.

"Goodnight darling" he says, placing a kiss on my forehead before walking out of the room and slowly closing the door behind him.

prev / next Series Masterlist

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @00frenchfries00 @bangtans-momma @coralmusicblaze @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater @marvelbun @j3nni-rs @evidive @beomieboi @forevrglow @jesssssmaybankk @teugiie @chaconnelatte @whoa-jo @snehal @xumyboo @mindurbuzznezz @diorh0seokie

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

[ponderingmoonlight]

Hi hi! I have a req- can you maybe please write a Megumi x reader where they get lost in a haunted house and the reader is too scared to move and Megumi helps her (as a stranger) and then it goes more from that ?

I fell in love with this immediately and needed to write that wonderful request of yours! Thank you so much darling, I'm crossing my fingers you like what I came up with 😭

Getting lost at a haunted house only to be saved by Megumi

Pairing: Megumi x fem!reader

Word Count: 2k

Synopsis: After your friends dragged you into a tunnel of terror at an amusement park despite your irrational fear of creepy stuff, you find yourself lost in your own panic. Until a sudden blue-eyed boy appears and helps you out...

Warnings: your friends are shitty, Megumi is a sweetheart, reader is obviously scared of creepy stuff lol

„This is probably the worst thing you ever made me do”, Megumi mutters, annoyed by the sheer sight in front of him.

When Gojo-sensei told them about a day off, he certainly didn’t see himself going to an amusement park with Itadori and Kugisaki. He should have stayed back, he could have read the new book he just bought, enjoying the silence of empty Jujutsu High while the others were out doing whatever they want. But instead, he finds himself surrounded by crying children with their hands covered in sweets, people bumping into him with every step he takes.

What on earth is he doing here?

“You’re such a pain in the ass, Fushiguro. How about going out and having some fun instead of making it your mission to look as if somebody killed your puppy? Geez.”

“Look, a haunted house!”, Yuji cries out, his eyes glossy from sheer excitement.

“Oh, I wanna go in!”

“I don’t wanna go in”, you protest while your friends literally drag you after themselves.

To be honest, the thought of going into a haunted house alone makes you want to leave immediately. If there’s one thing you hate, it’s creepy stuff. No matter if it’s as innocent as Halloween or things like horror films based on a true story. There is nothing worse than getting jump scared, feeling as if your heart will stop beating any minute, cold sweat running down your neck. No, there is absolutely no way in hell you will step one foot into this cursed place, you’ll just wait here and get some ice cream, you’ll-

“I really don’t wanna do this”, you whine into pitch-black darkness, heavy creepy music making you feel sick in an instant.

Your heartbeat hammers against your already aching chest, palm getting so sweaty that you are unable to hold onto the hand of your friend any longer.

“Hey, where are you? I-I think I lost you guys!”

No response, no sign of life. Just you, the darkness around you and your own blood rushing through your ears.

Fuck, you can’t do this alone. Where is the emergency exit when you need it? Is there somebody else around you?

“H-hello?”

No response, no sign of life.

Panic starts to rise in your chest, disturbing screams, violent laughter and creepy music drowning your head in nothing but thick fear. You need to get out of here as fast as possible.

Your wobbly feet carry you down the dark hallway. But instead of being able to simply sprint through the tunnel of horror, you are greeted by a never-ending hallway that is that is filled with macabre clowns decorating each and every centimetre around you. There aren’t many things that scare you more than strange dolls that look like Annabell herself, but clowns…You hated them since you were a child, no matter how friendly they looked.

And these ones definitely don’t.

“Are you lost, little one?”

That voice is close, too close for your liking. You rest your eyes for a second, pretend that this deep voice that shook you to your core isn’t really there. No, this must be part of the music, a stupid joke-

“I am still here.”

Something touches your arm. Out of instinct, you widen your glossy eyes, staring straight into the maniac grin of a clown.

A real clown.

Not just a doll.

Your body react on its own, a violent shriek escaping your lips.

Run.

As fast as you can, past the clown decorating the wall, straight into nothing but darkness while this little voice inside your head can’t stop laughing about your pathetic self. How old are you? 10?

It doesn’t matter. Your frightened eyes are darted fowards, adrenaline pumping through your veins while all you can think about is stepping through that door, getting out of this living nightmare as soon as possible. You just need to push yourself a little harder, get through this dark hallway right in front of you and it will be over, you are almost there-

You see stars. Before you are even process what happens, you bump into something hard and fall straight onto the floor with your head spinning in confusion. Was is a wall, a door? No, the dim light shows you the outline of a person. Your guts turn in an instant, the horrifying face of that clown you saw seconds ago still haunting your mind. Please, not another one of these actors.

It stretches out his hand, ready to grab you.

“NO!”, you scream on top of your lungs, crawling backwards in a desperate attempt to escape those fingertips.

Megumi can’t help but stare at your puny figure in sheer disbelief. Why the hell are you so scared? And why are you here on your own? Your thick and heavy breaths hang in the air between you both, distracting him from his mission to find a way out of here after Itadori and Kugisaki ran away like some 4-year old kids.

“Calm down, I’m just trying to find my way out of here”, he calmly announces.

You blink against the darkness around you, too stunned to say a single word. That is definitely a boy with a voice that could calm down entire oceans, making your heartbeat tame down in an instant.

“Let me help you up, okay? Give me your hand.”

There it is, his big hand stretched out in front of you. Like in trance you take it, palms still covered in cold sweat when he lifts you off the ground with ease. In the dim light you aren’t able to see anything but the outline of his features, his tall and actually quite muscular frame.

“We’ll get out of here together, just don’t let go of my-“

In the matter of seconds, your whole body clings onto his arm for what feels like dear life, nails digging into his firm biceps without mercy. He can’t leave you alone here like your friends did, there is absolutely no way in hell you’ll let go of this boy.

Much to Megumi’s fortune, the room is so dark that you can’t tell the deep blush creeping up his face. You’re a girl with a voice sounding so angelic that it caught him off guard, with your breast pressed against his arm-

Oh god.

“Let’s go”, he mumbles.

He forces himself to stare in front of him, to not risk a look at you while tumbling down the dark hallway with you by his side. But the second he opens the next door filled with red lights, his gaze wanders to his left side, gets greeted by your doe eyes immediately.

Time stands still, Megumi’s heart pounding as hard as yours when all he does is staring at your way too gorgeous but frightened features. You have to be around his age, even though it’s hard to tell in that strange light. But oh your face definitely matches your angelic voice.

“Thank you for not leaving me alone”, you mumble against his arm, eyes directed towards the next door ahead of you.

“There’s no need to thank me. How did you end up in here anyway if you are this scared?”

“My friends forced me and left me after the first door on my own.”

Megumi huffs in response. Well, that definitely sounds way too familiar. When he sees these two idiots again…

“But aren’t they aware of the fact that you’re scared?”

“Everyone is. But I guess they just thought it would be funny…”

“It’s not”, Megumi replies in an instant.

“You don’t deserve this. It might not make sense to them, but you are stressed. And no friend should want to see you like this for their own amusement.”

You swallow hard, still holding onto his arm tightly. Of course you know that he’s right, that your “friends” aren’t suppose to treat you this way. But you’d never say it out loud, would never confront them.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

His voice catches your attention just before you start to panic over another set of creepy dolls laughing in the corner, his arm moving you closer to him.

“Don’t look at them. Look at me.”

When you gaze up at him again, his world stops spinning for a minute. You really seem to trust him, your hands still intertwined with his arm, your body firmly pressed against his side. You look so lovely, seem like such a nice person. It becomes more and more personal to get you out of here.

“I’m sure we are close to the exit. Focus on me, okay?”

“My name is (y/n)”, you suddenly blurt out.

“I’m Megumi Fushiguro. Nice to meet you (y/n).”

Out of his mouth, your name sounds so relaxing, so melodic. His calm voice really suits the ocean of his dark blue eyes that never break contact with yours even though he walks down the hallway with you by his side.

“I think this is the last door.”

With a swift motion, he opens it. Slowly but surely his features get light up by lantern light, the cries and screams from the amusement park ringing in your ears again. You take a look around you.

He really did it.

You made your way out of the tunnel of horror.

“Thank you so much for helping me out”, you mutter, pulling him into a tight hug before you are able to stop yourself.

What would have happened if he didn’t find you, if he didn’t keep a cool head and lead you through the right doors? You rest your head against his broad chest, heartbeat calming down completely. How lucky you are to have met him.

“Oh – uh…No problem at all”, he mutters.

Megumi has to tell himself over and over to keep a straight face, to not allow himself to turn redder than the devil himself. But you hold onto him so tightly, so thankful for nothing but the fact that he guided you out of a haunted house.

“Who’s that girl, Fushiguro?”

You let go of him immediately, eyes darting towards a girl with short brown hair coming your way while dragging a pink-haired boy behind her like a bag of trash.

“After you left me alone in there, I met (y/n) and she helped me finding a way out.”

“Nice to meet you (y/n)!”, the other boy greets you instantly, a kind grin plastered on your face.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have helped him, Fushiguro fits just right in a tunnel of horror”, the girl comments dryly.

“There you are! We thought the clowns already ate you up!”

Oh no, not now, not in front of him and his friends. You want to sprint away, to hide yourself from your “friends”. But instead, all you can do is stare blankly why both of them approach you with a toxic smile.

“Is this what you consider funny? Dragging (y/n) in there and leaving her alone even though you know she’s scared?”

Megumi’s body tenses up immediately as he positions himself between you and the other girls. They really have some nerves, approaching you like this after what they did. There is no way he’ll let them get away with that.

“Huh? Who the hell are you and why would you care?”

“Because I was scared as well and (y/n) helped me to find a way out.”

He glimpses at you for the split of a second. It’s more than crystal clear that he’s lying. You need to stand up for him, defend him, tell them the truth.

“Oh, you’re braver than I thought (y/n)”, one of them mutters.

“Yeah…Well…We see each other tomorrow, okay? Bye?”

And with that, they disappear into the evening, their awkward walk leaving you speechless for a second.

“Promise me you’ll never let them treat you like this again��, he finally speaks up again.

“I…I promise….”

“Can you just give her your number so that we’re able to grab something to eat? I’m starving”, the girl next to him complains.

“Yeah, I’m super hungry as well!”

“Can’t you just shut up for a minute?”, Megumi hisses under his breath.

“But…would you mind giving me your number?”

-Bonus-

"Megumi-chan!"

His steps quicken in an instant, carrying down the hallway of Jujutsu High at high tempo. If there's one thing he's not in the mood for right now, it's definetely Gojo-sensei. Itadori and Kugisaki probably told him ever little thing about you.

"There's no running for me. Tell me, who's the girl you've been with today?"

He can't help but roll his eyes, the wide grin on his teacher's face simply driving him insane.

"I just met her today", he mumbles in response.

"Don't forget to use protection, I don't wanna be a grand-"

"CAN YOU JUST SHUT UP"

 Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp@wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @satoreo @luwumii @tachiharazsstuff @kentocalls @cheesemachine44 @ryva @kenjakusconcubine @baku2345 @komelrebi-san @deezy12299@busyreader17 @4pgletter @okay-it-is-ivy @iluvtoru

Gorgeous dividers by @saradika-graphics

[beef-brisket]

Devil and the Priest!au

(Feel free to change the name- it's 1am where I am, so my brain is starting to fry lol)

@things-arent-what-they-seem66 @fanofstuff01

---

Lucifer drove through the country side, he's been behind the wheel for nearly 5 hours. He didn't realize how much of a drive getting to this monastery. He knew it was remote but this is getting ridiculous- he should have brought snacks.

He glanced out his window every now and then to take in the scenery. He's currently driving past a large body of water, where he spotted a small island. He wishes he was over there, with no worries or expectations. With no one but himself. The Vatican has been on his ass lately about making this trip. Apparently, there was something 'dark- and 'unsettling' at this monastery. If any of the priests he knew were anything to go by, it was probably just them. He swore they refused to die, they had more wrinkles than brain cells.

Lucifer turned his radio up, some type of rock song was one, it was a big no no to be listening to music like this, it's his car. Driver picks the music, and the Vatican shuts their cake hole.

Finally, as the sun was setting, Lucifer arrived at the monastery. The large stone building loomed over him, maybe the Vatican was right, this place was unsettling. He felt like he was being watched, the multiple colours in the sky masking how decrepit this place actually is. Pulling out a brochure from his pocket, Lucifer couldn't help but smirk, they're really trying to market this place like it's a holiday retreat.

Lucifer: "Welcome to the Hazbin. Find not only sanctuary and enlightenment but also beaches and the best crab around!" ...right, definitely staying away from the crab then...

After an exhausted sign, Lucifer licked his car and picked up his bags. Making his way towards the large wooden doors, Lucifer couldn't help but dread the next two or three hours, all he wanted was to hop into bed and close the world off foe a few hours but he'd probably have to take the whole tour and- ew- meeting people.

He shuddered at the thought.

Lucifer: I wonder if I could convince them to leave the formalities till tomorrow...

Lucifer gripped a huge, iron door knocker and banged it three times. He knew this could take a while so he prepared to get comfortable- until the door was pulled open.

Priest: Hello! And welcome to the Hazbin! How can I assist you this fine evening!

Lucifer: uh- yeah- hi, my name Luicfer, I've been told to come here by the Vatican- I've been told you're expecting me...?

Priest: hm... Lucifer...

The man flicked through a small book, humming every so often. What's the point in having glasses if you still can't read a damn book.

Lucifer: look man- sir- it's been a long drive, I'd really like to just get to sleep-

Priest: ah! Yes! Here you are, Lucifer! Please, come right in! We've been expecting you for hours, your overseer said you would be here this morning- but better late than never I suppose!

The man moved aside to let Lucifer in. He really didn't like this guy, but that's not new, priest are pretty... eccentric.

The man shit the door behind him, using at least six locks to secure it.

Priest: pardon my manners, Lucifer! My name is Alastor- Father Alastor. And I'll be your superior while you're here

Ah, great. He has to answer to this... lovely man. Forcing a smile, Lucifer did what he did best: lie.

Lucifer: that's very exciting Father Alastor, look forward to working with you and getting to know this place more personally!

Alastor: oh, I could imagine! I'm sure you've heard a lot about me! I've been in charge of five other monasteries before this one! All saw a raise in volunteers and profits.

Lucifer: that's fantastic, Father. It's a real honor to be working on this project with you-

Alastor: "project", yes, that's one word to describe it.

Alastor lead Lucifer down a long hall, hebcouldbt believe how quiet it was. He was told there were at least 60-70 nuns and other workers here but it just seemed abandoned.

Thankfully, Alastor showed Lucifer to his room, it was large with a queen bed in the middle. It didn't have much furniture, just a set of draws and a desk out looking the garden. It was dead and overgrown, but the air was fresh, he'll have to start taking up writing again.

Alastor: well! Lucifer, it is a real pleasure to have you here! Tomorrow I'll show you around and I introduce you to some of the other occupants here- there are quite a few so I do expect you to introduce yourself to some of them in your own time.

Lucifer dumped his bags on his bed, and turned to face Alastor.

Lucifer: that understandable. Thank you for this Alastor, I'll see you in the morning-

Alastor: bright and early Mr Lucifer. I like to get the day started as the break of dawn

Of course he does.

Lucifer: great! I better get some sleep then

Alastor: yes, you should. Goodnight Lucifer

Finally, Lucifer was alone. Or at least he hoped. He still hasn't shaking that feeling from earlier. Except this time, he was certain nothing was watching him, Alastor seemed to be the only other living thing here. And that's giving the bastard a lot of credit. Not once did he stop smiling- Lucifer already wants to wipe that look off his face.

All Lucifer wanted to do was sleep, so he got comfortable and started to drift off.

[scatterbrainedbot]

I AM SPINNING I AM PACING I AM FULL ON FROLICKING IM SO EXCITED

@d1sc0rd1a THANK U FOR THESE TAGS

okayokayokayokay so pretty much all of these questions will be Officially Answered properly in the character design/intro pages im working on but also i am physically vibrating with excitement about the fact that you noticed all these details and i have very little self control so! lore dump time!!!

(minor tw for mentions of leos self-harm/self-destructive anxious behaviors and unhealthy coping skills)

- mikey does indeed have curly fur! i believe he would be considered a 'rex' rat (pictured on the left) for this trait? though the curls can be more easily seen on mice (pictured on the right). or, at least it seems that way. have not delved too deeply into the details of rodent genes and husbandry, but id assume its the same sort of mutation considering curly haired mice are also referred to as rex sometimes? either way hes a extra floofy bby 🧡

-as for raphie, unfortunately being more fluff and less shell than the average rapheal comes with its downsides. especially if you and your brothers occasionally encounter things like territorial dogs, hungry cats, or sewer crocodiles while exploring places ur dad said not supposed to go. (most of his scars will have more ninja related stories, but his ear i think got messed up from something very animal. probably around age 11 ish? old enough to sneak out from dads protection but young enough to not fully know how to handle himself alone against real danger. thankfully his ear injury looks worse than it actually is for the most part, as the damage was largely to the outer ear. his hearing wasnt super affected, except that he now has a bit of a harder time being able to track/pinpoint noises origins if its on his right side.)

-also yep! dons got some glasses that just clip/rest on the bridge of his nose! theyre mostly just for home use, as they do fall off if hes knocked around. in the field he has some goggles he tends to use (theyre helpful as they have multiple additional functions like heat-imaging, extra zoom/telescoping, and recording capabilities. but also theyll give him headaches if he wears them for too long without breaks). contacts are theoretically also an option but he absolutely hates the sensation of putting them in. so sometimes when hes tired he'll just not bother with either clips or goggles and just squint and struggle. leo hates when he does that lol.

-speaking of leo, he is def an anxious baby :) he has a few patches of fur missing on his hand cos he has the tendency to tug on it while hes thinking. he yanked and chewed on his own tail a lot when he was younger too, which is why when hes older he usually wears some wraps to cover the scars left from that behavior. he finds those scars specifically to be kinda embarrassing and shameful because they werent from any battle or life-lesson, just his own 'inability to control himself'. all of his brothers have repeatedly called him out on the fact that that is not a healthy way to think about his anxiety or mental health, but leo insists hes fine. hes kinda convinced himself that a proper warrior always has control over his own body* and his own thoughts, thus he should be able to just like willpower-brute-force his way into 'being better'. (this line of thinking pisses raph off so much he has to leave and go hit something)

Splinter also tries to talk him through some of that internalized guilt/shame/everything, but splinters very metaphorical, poetic, and indirect when it comes to talking about Big Things, which combined with how much leo gets caught in his own head, makes it kinda hard to gauge how much these talks actually help

*this is made extra fun considering leos also ftm trans, so he is faced with a body that fundamentally disobeys him perhaps more than the average rat-man.

-and im still going back and forth between a few species for splinter, but im leaning mostly towards an African Spurred Tortoise! they have these beautiful if kinda subtle geometric shell patterns and are the third largest species of tortoise in the world. the only thing that doesnt fit perfectly with Splints is that (allegedly) their lifespan in captivity is around 50ish years, whereas im p sure Tortoise Splinter is well over 75, probably closer to 90 when the boys are born and hes mutated into Old Man Papa.

but maybe hes just a particularly long lasting African Spurred Tortoise.

the Hamato family has taken very good care of him for many decades after all. :)

(well. until everything all fell apart, that is.....)

[enaelyork]

Howdy!

I just discovered your blog and I am excited to read your Cooper Howard stuff.

I have a (18+) request for Cooper Howard as The Ghoul. Could I have him, the reader, and Lucy, traveling to New Vegas together and the reader and Cooper can't get a moment alone togther. Like Lucy accidently keeps interrupting or won't take the hint to leave, so Cooper at one point just says to her to leave so he can fuck the reader. Lucy feels so bad and leaves, and then the reader and Cooper go at it lol.

No worries if you can't do the request, I just want to say your an awesome writer!

Thanks❤️

Hey Anon ! Thx you so much for this request !

I reeeaaaaalllllly like this awkward plot. Here we go ! You u enjoy it.

Pls be cool, english is not my first langage.

+ 18 DNI / Cooper Howard/ The Ghoul x Reader / P in V/ Fingering/ Piece of violence/ Unprotect sex.

Banners by @saradika

Word : +/-2.6 k

My ask for Cooper Howard is Open

You wanted him.

There was nothing consistent with this need. Firstly because your first altercation wasn't anything like a love affair (unless hand-to-hand combat fell into that category), then because...Damn, he's more irradiated than a hundred power plants nuclear weapons combined.

But it was eating you up.

Eating away at every bit of your mind and reason. Every movement he made, every word that escaped his mouth made your stomach twist. It seduced you in all its horror, in all its brutality and you loved to consume yourself in this deep obsession.

And him too.

Oh yes. Him too.

You didn’t immediately notice what was happening until that evening. At the end of a grueling journey through the wastelands, you decided to take a break to spend the night in a less dangerous place. And through the flames of the pyre lit in the center of the small makeshift camp, you had seen his eyes. The look he gave you struck you to the core. You had not given in to his gaze, to the devouring glow that it contained in the shadow of his hat. He abused you psychologically, so much so that his mere presence next to you tortured you. The fascination that he skillfully distilled in your veins was no longer enough to contain the attraction you felt for him, and he played on it. As for who would be trapped first in these torments, you had no intention of giving up ground easily.

- There's a reserve there. You say, pointing to the cabin on the top of the hill. I'm going to look for something to burn.

No one had refuted the idea, not even Lucy who sat on a stone cuddling Dogmeat without even seeing what was happening before her eyes. This child was so innocent that she did not recognize a predator when he cohabited with her, much less the issues that were taking place under her nose. The shelter had provided a rare moment of peace during which you allowed yourself to breathe. On the table you were facing was a pile of old paper and some dry wooden rulers, enough to burn. It was a bargain to grab and you quickly put the whole thing together in your hands.

-I want to hear it.

The cold of his breath caressed your neck and made what you were carrying fall at arm's length. Without turning around, your eyes rolled towards the shadow that towered over you in all its height. He was so close to you that one movement would have been enough for him to grab you by the hip and flip you onto the table and, damn, that idea was more interesting than it should be.

Him. There. Behind you. Probably way too close.

-Hear what ?

- What you want. I want to hear you beg me to do it.

The laughter that left your mouth spread throughout the room, surprising even you with its brutality. It was the smartest thing to do, the healthiest reaction, and probably the best option you had left to not give in to him. Without a word, you turned around to lock your eyes with his, your hands firmly anchored in the old wood of this crumbling table to keep them at a safe distance from what they coveted.

-I never do that. To beg. Yet your eyes screamed otherwise and you sincerely hoped he was too blinded by his pride to understand it. Your irises lowered to scan it up and down as if it were an impregnable vestige.

-You can use your guns, a rope, or even your teeth. You will never hear me do such a thing, especially to you. I know how much pleasure it gives you.

- Oh, believe me, there are a lot of things that would give me pleasure right now.

There was nothing worse than this precise moment, suspended in the storm that has been brewing above you for too long. The storm swirled with your every glance, every moment his body was near yours, but nothing had yet managed to trigger the lightning.

Leave.

Your instincts proclaimed. Leave before you die in his arms. And probably that was what you wanted most in the world.

- Only in fairy tales do monsters and princesses love each other. And this world is not one.

However, your arms were already too close to his neck, his radiating your hips and pulling you to him without you putting up the slightest resistance.

It wasn't a fairy tale.

His burning scent consumed your nostrils and your heart was about to give in for good.

- In this world, monsters like to destroy pretty things.

A nervous laugh escaped your lips which you tried to keep away from his, but your butt was already hitting the wood of the table behind you when, suddenly, a noise made you jump.

- You are there ?

-Holy shit! He cursed, leaping away from you before propelling himself towards the door, a bloodthirsty impulse waving his hands as he opened the door to reveal your traveling companion.

Lucy.

Her eyes were full of innocence from long years in a shelter. Her smile and the sigh of relief she heaved when she discovered you in the shed made you want to laugh. She had no idea what had just happened.

- Oh damn! I was terribly afraid of never finding you again.

She exclaimed, putting an end to any possible attempt at approach. While Cooper nervously contained his desire to strangle her, you advanced towards him, a perfidious smile on your lips.

- I never liked spectators…

This is how the little game began.

-------------------

There are worse things than fear. Worse than impatience There is frustration. The one that itches, that annoys, the one that deflates the ardor that takes hold of you as the days pass. A frustration answering to the sweet name of Lucy. It is difficult for you to express to your friend the desire to see her leave. Not forever. Just a few moments, the space that would allow you to put an end to this duel between him and you.

To the looks. To provocations.

And his growing rage for your teammate. You were angry with him, with the way he spoke to her, his resentment which constantly burned his lips whenever he spoke to her. Lucy had taken the team's instructions literally without giving anyone a break.

She had only followed an order that came from him. But in a sense, this charade amused you, allowed you to understand that you were not the only one to be a slave to your impulses. He wasn't so scary after all. So weak in his humanity, at least in what remained of it. In a way, this fact reassured you that you were attracted, and it was pure madness. Then came this famous day. The route had taken an unexpected turn. An ambush set up in a ruined housing estate had seriously delayed you. Worse, while trying to hide, you had fallen into a hole, scraping your neck and abs against an iron rod.

- Are you injured? Oh, god, you're hurt !

Lucy had torn a section of her suit to quickly wrap the bleeding wound on her neck before arriving to safety. Once away from the danger zone and inside a building whose structure had reasonably withstood the disaster, she invited you to sit down as if you were about to die.

- I'm fine, I assure you.

- I really have to check.

Cooper hadn't said a word. It was a silence heavier than the chaos itself. A heavy silence, from which one could expect to see the worst horrors ensue. He had taken the chair away from the one you were sitting in and hadn't even laid eyes on you. An unpleasant tingling was felt in your neck when Lucy applied a treatment there, then tied the fabric again at the height of the wound. Tearing you away from the strange worry that was emerging within you. - You need to take off your top.

He was there. He had done nothing, not even for a moment had he tried to watch over you.

But that’s what a team does, right? Cannon fodder and fuck fodder, that's all you meant to him. And now that he had to slow down, that he had to take care of you, he seemed immersed in deep thought, probably looking for a way to get rid of you.

- There is nothing. I assure you.

- Do not joke. Do what I tell you. The space between those few seconds seemed eternal.

Not with him. Not when he's in this room.

This is what you should have answered, instead you saw yourself witnessing disaster. Your hands tugging at your t-shirt before taking it off, letting it fall to the floor, eyes focused on him.

Free fall.

A few seconds, his eyes on yours, his gaze wandering over your bare skin, the tingling of the scratch on your stomach blending into something else entirely. And a shot fired into the void, startling Lucy.

- Do you see that gun, Mclane? Lucy nodded, lips quivering.

- If you don't leave this room immediately, the next bul' that comes out of his barrel will end up in your skull.

- But…but…I didn’t… She paused for a moment, glancing over at you before turning back to Cooper, horrified.

- Don't worry about that, I'll take care of it.

- Oh my God. Oh my God, I,.. I,…

- Come out now, Lucy, please hurry up.

There was no need to give the blush time to flood her cheeks. She was too pure, too carefree to witness this. Because war was declared now, and nothing would stop it.

A second later, his hand closed around your aching neck, pushing you against the table.

- Say it.

- Bastard.

His burning hands ran over your skin, incandescent, they transformed your blood into magma. It was pure madness, but nothing was delicious than the violence with which he held you in this position, his hips firmly fitted to your ass.

- Oh, stop, someone had to tell her, right?

- I almost died.

-And whoever tried to do that ended up with their skull exploded. This is how it works and if you want to know… You could feel his breath on his neck, his hand searching for the opening of your pants. You could have easily pushed him away, but it was just to contradict him. Because you wanted him, almost as much as he did and for far too long.

- I wouldn't have hesitated to shoot her, too, if she had continued to bother us.

- Liar.

Your words died in a hot breath, his fingers already making their way through your panties, sliding along your warm pussy. You guessed the smile that distorted his mouth as you discovered the extent of what he provoked in you.

- I need to fuck you. He whispers in a harsh, trembling voice into the crook of your neck. I only think about this. Only you and it messes up my priorities.

- Do it, then.

- Before, I want you to be at my mercy.

You giggled. It was out of the question to give him anything, yet his fingers caressing you made you less certain of your convictions. Your hips rocked to his rhythm and he was heavily satisfied with what he felt.

- So wet. So impatient. How long has it been, huh? How many times have you been touched while waiting for this moment.

- Too much.

Your hands moved to your back, reaching for the buckle of his belt, stroking the obvious erection in the seat of his pants. He wasn't going to bring you to your knees, at his mercy, without paying the consequences. You needed it, anyway.

Need to feel him inside you. Need it to make you forget the horror of the world in which you were moving. Because you didn't like reality, it was unbearable for you to think about the future that this disgusting world had in store for you. The waves his fingers sent through your body were so violent that you looked for support to stay upright. But he didn't see it that way: you had no right to stop petting him without asking his opinion. So, holding you firmly with one hand, he grabbed the second to invite you to continue.

-You can't just collapse like that, sugar. Not now, not after what you promise me.

The orgasm he provoked in you tore your soul apart. There was no way Lucy could have missed the sound of your voice, no matter where she had taken refuge to escape it. She heard it and it would probably haunt her for the rest of her life.

For a brief moment, he pulled away from you to turn you around to face him, taking off your pants, probably tearing a few sections of them in the process. Then, lifting you up to allow you to wrap your feverish legs around his waist, he pinned you firmly against the table.

His mouth crashed onto yours, devouring all of the air that tried to escape your lips. You bit him almost to blood, desperately, greedily. It was like your life depended on his mouth and what he was going to do to you. He devours you without respite, crushing my lips in a destructive kiss, then kissing your face, your neck, your jaw and your closed eyelids. His erect penis tickled the entrance to your vagina and this sensation made you lose the little reason you had left.

- Please. Please…

- Please what? He slowly rocked his hips to let his cock slide down the length of your sex.

-Please fuck me.

He laughed nervously. He had managed to get what he wanted. Like always. He had you and all your passion. You had never had to beg anyone in your life, but the world had changed and you had met Cooper Howard, two parameters which alone had transformed you greatly.

- I won't be delicate.

- Go ahead, I won't be the one begging you to spare me.

You felt dizzy because your body was calling for it. His hand came to rest against your throat as he stood up in front of you, dominant and impatient. You knew this was going to be exactly how you both wanted it to be, like animals, in a dingy old shed while some poor girl waited for you outside. Your bodies finally collided with rare violence, extracting a grunt of satisfaction and pain from you. His hips pounded against yours like his life depended on it, his fingers still firmly placed on your clit.

It was too much, too much.

Him, his gaze which never stopped contemplating your pleasure.

What he provoked in you. The expression he wore. You could no longer contain the slightest sound emanating from your mouth, so as if to save what was left of you, you brought a fist to your lips, muffling every cry that tried to escape you. But that wasn't how he saw things. Still pounding into you, he removed his fingers to grab your wrist, pulling it away from your mouth to pin it firmly to the table.

- Let it be heard. I want her to understand that she must never interfere between us again, understand?

You no longer had enough strength to speak, but your head was bobbing up and down frantically. You didn't care anymore if she heard anything, at this point in the situation the desire that was swelling throughout was so depraved that you were ready for him to fuck you in front of his eyes.

He was close, you could feel it in the way his hips met yours. It was painful and delicious at the same time, but there was no way you were going to cum without him. Not without seeing the orgasm distort the features of his face. And he didn't resist much longer, exploding in a deep, throaty pleasure, propelling you with him away from all this mess.

Then silence.

A moment of floating in which you slowly let yourself be drawn into. He had gotten what he wanted.

You too.

He stepped aside, giving you the chance to stand up before adjusting his hat on his head again. You glance at each other before guessing the satisfied smile that appears on his lips, the situation made you want to laugh.

Nothing was less certain than the fact that Lucy was still able to look you in the eyes now.

[missmonsters2]

Mirror, Mirror | Three

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

PART TWO

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Certain thoughts and feelings are starting to arise in Wanda whenver she looks at you (god forbid she touches you). Despite these feelings, Wanda has no idea how to shift the dynamic. Resigned, Wanda knows she needs to ask for help and the advice she gets is probably going to land her in another bizzare plan.

Warnings: best friends to lovers. shenanigans. jealousy, jealousy. sexual tension. pining. yearning. sexual thoughts. spicy (tumblr's version). stupid steve. neurotic nat. brat & stinky. bug as in shutterbug.

*explicit version will only be available on Ao3 & will be posted there after series is completed*

Note: another wacky plan that probably is gonna get Wanda in trouble LOL

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Series Masterlist || Library Blog || AO3

Count: ~3.8k

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Wanda lays with her arm behind her head, staring at the ceiling while she waits for you to finish in the bathroom. 

This was an opportunity, wasn't it?

Alone at night, in one bed, in close proximity—this would be the perfect opportunity for Wanda to make a move, isn't it? The perfect opportunity to create some sexual tension so that you'd look at Wanda differently. 

So...so, should she—Wanda gulps—cuddle you?

You and Wanda have cuddled many times in the past. It was nice to have someone to snuggle up to when watching a movie; the habit slid right into place so easily. 

But those times had been innocent. Wanda hadn't been thinking anything about it other than how comforting it was. 

Now—Wanda's thinking about other things. Touching would be exciting—exhilarating, even. 

Yet, the more Wanda thinks about it, the more rigid she becomes. 

Should she...should she just try to wrap her arms around you like usual? Or should she try to get a little frisky and "accidentally" let her fingers trail underneath your shirt?

Wanda blushes so hard, rolling over completely, and pushes her face into her pillow. She screws her eyes shut. 

God, she wanted to scream. 

"Are you trying to suffocate yourself to go to sleep?"

The sudden voice makes Wanda turn over. You enter the room with a tiny smile on your lips as you toss your worn clothes onto a chair in the corner. Your PJs consist of a worn-in oversized t-shirt and shorts, though Wanda knows the shorts are mostly for her sake as you prefer to sleep without them. 

Oh, if you only knew Wanda had absolutely no qualms about you sleeping without them. In fact, to be generous, Wanda could insist you sleep without your shirt, too. 

Wanda takes a deep breath, trying to will the blood in her cheeks to leave. Her head is slightly dizzy from the thoughts.  

"You know how I am if I wake up in the middle of the night," Wanda sits up and replies wryly, clearing her throat as it's suddenly dry. 

You grab a water bottle from your desk, opening it to take a sip before you close it and toss it towards her. Wanda catches it, opening it immediately to take a gulp of water. She stares at you as you apply chapstick to your lips for the night before you shut off the lights and make your way toward the bed. 

In the dark, Wanda feels her heart start to race with anticipation. The bed dips, and Wanda takes a shaky breath as she closes the water bottle and sets it aside. She lays back, staring at the ceiling, hearing your soft sigh of contentment of finally being in bed. 

You're lying on your side facing Wanda, but when she turns her head to the side, your eyes are closed as you breathe steadily, trying to fall asleep.

Wanda swallows. She wants things to change so badly. Wanda wants you to look at her differently, to notice that as the blueprint to your type, you could just have the original—if that was what this is all about.

So, Wanda turns on her side, blood pumping in her ears, making it nearly impossible to hear anything as she shuffles closer to you. You've only been on one date with Raye, and it didn't even end with sex. It's not cheating, Wanda tells herself. It's really not. 

When Wanda's face to face with you, her limbs almost feel numb. She wants to do something, but she doesn't even know what. The more she thinks about being bold, the shyer she's getting. 

Wanda's starting to chicken out. 

Wanda's hand pauses right in the middle of the space between you two. 

This is so stupid, Wanda thinks. She's never going to be more to you than just a friend. You're never going to think about her the way she thinks about you. You—

Fingers slide between hers, grasping her hand flat against the bed. 

"Do you remember the first time we had a sleepover?" Your voice carries through the quiet of the night, somehow gentle but crisp as it makes its way to Wanda's ears. 

"You mean when I cried because I'd never slept anywhere other than at home and was scared of the dark?" Wanda replies wryly. 

Those days were long gone, and right now, she's grateful the dark can hide her red cheeks. 

You laugh. "Yeah, but then you still didn't want to leave and made me hold your hand the entire night."

Wanda groans, caught between wanting to pull her hand away in embarrassment but liking the feel of your hand too much.

"I remember holding your hand so seriously because I couldn't let my best friend be so sad, especially after she wanted to stay despite crying," you chuckle quieter this time. "I kind of miss those days; they were simpler."

"What do you mean?" Wanda feels you stroking the back of her hand with your index finger in a small line.

"Back then, you used to cry about the dark and scraped knees, and I could make it better by just holding your hand. Now, you cry about boys breaking your heart and homesickness, and you're still sad after I hold your hand," You sigh like it's your fault.

"I'm not sad," Wanda insists, a whine in her tone. 

"That's why you crawled into my bed at midnight?" Even though Wanda can't see, she can tell you have your brow raised. 

"Maybe I just want you to hold me," Wanda bravely says. Her heart is doing that thing again, and she thinks she might actually be entering into cardiac arrest. The cowardly part of her backs out and softens the statement. "Maybe at 14, hand-holding was enough to solve the dark and scraped knees, but as adults, we need something else."

It's quiet, and for a second, Wanda thinks she might've made a terrible decision and wants to burst out crying. Her words are caught in her throat, and her breathing feels shallow. Even though she doesn't really want to, she's about to tell you she's just joking, but you move closer.

It's slow as if you're trying to be careful not to make the wrong move, like accidentally kneeing her in the crotch. You move like you're trying to make sure everything slots together perfectly. 

The hand-holding is gone with her arms over your waist, and yours are over hers. Your hand settles loosely against her back, the warmth of your palm seeping through her shirt. Her face is pressed against your chest, and the embrace is warm. 

Wanda doesn't know what to feel; it's too much at once. She feels warm, nervous, horny, content, and mostly dizzy. 

"So, you admit you are sad," you joke quietly in the dark. "I knew it, you lying brat."

Despite the dizziness, Wanda gumbles, "I'm not sad, you stinky accuser."

"So, you don't feel better then?"

There's a moment of silence again. Wanda doesn't know how to quite articulate how she's feeling. She is better, she supposes. But she also feels crazier. 

"Yeah, this is better," Wanda manages to say. "14-year-old us wouldn't even be able to wrap our heads around this."

Your chest rises and falls in quick succession with laughter. "Oh my god, shut up and sleep."

Wanda mutters something, but it's completely unintelligible. Time passes too quickly, and Wanda slowly starts falling asleep again. 

It's not quite the sexual tension she hoped for, but this was just as good. 

"Just a heads up, I expect to be the little spoon at some point. Return the favor, brat."

Wanda smiles. No, this was perfect.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Wanda takes a deep breath, letting her eyes flutter close momentarily. 

She knows she can't delay this anymore. Wanda's hit a wall in her progress, and she needs to admit that she doesn't know what she's doing anymore—not that she really knew what she was doing in the first place.

This was going to change everything—somehow make it more real. The thought of it makes Wanda somewhat glum, but she resigns herself before she takes another breath and rings the doorbell. 

Wanda hears footsteps approaching the door before it opens, and Natasha stands there with an iced coffee in her hand. 

"Oh, Wanda," she blinks in surprise, "I didn't expect to see you."

"Really?" Wanda asks dryly. "Even after you texted me that you were bored with nothing to do today 6 times in a row this morning?"

"Yes, and like the terrible friend you are, you were pointedly ignoring it," Natasha raises her brow at Wanda.

"I wasn't ignoring it," Wanda denies. "I'm here, aren't I?"

Natasha snorts but then opens her door wider, stepping to the side to let Wanda in. Once inside, they make their way to the kitchen, and Natasha begins fixing Wanda a cup of cold brew.

"Want anything in it?"

"Do you have oat milk?"

Natasha hums absently, but Wanda knows the redhead heard her. As her drink is being made, Wanda taps her fingers against the counter, feeling the nerves thrum against her veins. She's unsure how to bring it up but doesn't want to beat around the bush. There's a time crunch, and Wanda can't afford to waste any more time. 

"Natasha," Wanda says just as Natasha sets her cup down. "I'm in love with—"

"Bug?" Natasha cuts in. "Yeah, I know."

Wanda's jaw drops. "What?" She says before she slumps in her seat. "Is it because of our phone call a couple of weeks ago, or did you suspect all along?"

"No, I mean, kind of yes," Natasha scrunches her nose. "I don't know if I would say I suspected all along. You've always been close to Bug, but she was always quick to correct anyone back then that you were just friends, and to be fair, nothing happened. I think soulmates can exist as friends too." 

Wanda purses her lips but nods, and Natasha gives her a smile.

"But," Natasha interjects. "I did start to suspect after our phone call. I mean, you and Bug do everything together, so honestly, I wasn't that shocked if you both wanted to get married at the same time and live in houses next to each other. I think it was more the fact of how upset you got."

"Yeah," Wanda sighs, rubbing her temples.

"But mostly, I knew because Yelena told me."

"What!?" Wanda squawks. "She wasn't supposed to tell anyone!"

"I'm not anyone," Natasha sticks her tongue out. "I'm her sister. We gossip almost daily."

"Ugh, did she tell you—"

"How you took her on the worst date of her life and stalked Bug and Raye? Yeah," Natasha looks sympathetic. "I'm glad you went home instead of waiting outside while they did it."

"They didn't do it!" Wanda jumps up in her seat. "Apparently Raye got hung up on a phone call, so it didn't happen and she came home."

"Oh, really?" Natasha's brow scrunches together. "Raye—"

"What?" Wanda interjects. "Is Raye saying they slept together? What a dirty liar—"

"God, no—" Natasha rolls her eyes. "Calm the fuck down, jeez. Raye didn't say they did, but she didn't say they didn't either. Unfortunately, you won't be able to use that as an excuse to break them up."

Wanda groans, slumping back into her chair again. She reaches for her cold brew and sips at it dejectedly. 

"So, spill," Natasha prods. "After all these years, why did you suddenly get a change in feelings? Is that why you ended things with Vision on Yelena's birthday?"

"I don't know if it's sudden," Wanda mumbles but launches into a long monologue of everything that's happened since Stupid Steve dropped the information bomb on her and every single thought that accompanied each event.  

45 long minutes pass before Wanda finishes with how she's been more cuddly the last week but is having trouble moving past that. 

"Have you managed to create any sexual tension?"

"No," Wanda sighs frustratedly. "I don't know what to do! In our years of friendship, I've changed in front of her before and worn sexy outfits, and we already have physical affection between us. Nothing has ever happened and it was never weird. I don't know how to change things!"

"Why don't you just confess to her?" Natasha asks with a tilt of her head.

Wanda scoffs as if that's the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard. "Because she only sees me as a friend, so I can't confess until she sees me as a potential partner. It will clearly boost the odds of my confession being accepted, duh."

"Right," Natasha replies dryly. 

"So?" Wanda taps her nails on the counter impatiently. "Do you have any advice or should I ask Yelena?"

"As if," Natasha snorts. "Yelena's idea of flirting is bullying. It's a miracle that Kate hasn't tried to cancel her on social media. I highly doubt Yelena's method will work for you."

"So, what should I do?" Wanda laments. 

Natasha hums. "I guess it's true you've been friends so long that normal things other people would do wouldn't work for you. She has seen you in so many sexy clubbing outfits and hasn't done anything, and unless you start groping her private bits, I don't think physical touch will spark anything new."

"This is great advice," Wanda says sarcastically.

"But do you know how to make those things work?" Natasha asks, rolling her eyes at Wanda's tone. "You need to make her aware that you could potentially be hers."

"I've literally just said—"

"Right now, you're just her best friend that's probably going to end up dating another guy. And as long as she thinks that, those things will never work because in her brain, she can only see you as a friend," Natasha cuts Wanda off. 

"Okay, so..." Wanda drags out so that Natasha will continue on. This was making sense and leading somewhere!

"So, there's two new things you need to add to your relationship," Natasha pauses. "Awareness and jealousy—and not the jealousy like 6 years ago when you thought that exchange student was replacing you as her best friend."

"In my defense, Shuri was trying to," Wanda gripes.

"You know what you need to do?" Natasha ignores Wanda's comment. 

"What?" Wanda asks warily because Natasha has that smile on her face. And when she gets that smile, something crazy is about to come out of her mouth.

"Tony and Pepper's 10-year anniversary party is next Saturday, right? You need to bring a date. A girl date," Natasha grins. 

"But I don't want to date other girls," Wanda groans. "Plus, how am I supposed to get a girl to go on a date with me if I need to tell her it's actually to make someone else jealous. That's literally terrible to hide."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Natasha waves her hand nonchalantly. "I have a coworker who can help. She owes me one, so she'll do it without actually expecting anything."

Wanda is in disbelief. 

Natasha then perks up. "Actually, this is perfect because to really open up Bug's eyes, the person you go on a date with should be similar to her. Then, she'll think about how she could be dating you. This coworker is perfect for it; she's nice, if a little sarcastic, and has similar humor."

"Is she hot?" Wanda asks.

"Yeah, of course she is. I can't set you up with an uggo. That would never make her jealous."

"And she's into girls?"

"Yeah, she's single right now, though."

Wanda's eye twitches. 

"What?"

Wanda tries to take a calming breath before nearly yelling, "Why didn't you set up Raye with your other coworker then!?"

"How the hell was I supposed to know you'd fallen for her at that point?" Natasha winces.

It's a fair point, a completely valid one to make, but Wanda still holds a grudge against Nat for putting Raye in your path. 

"Also, why does your company have so many sad, single coworkers? I mean, I guess you're also single—"

"Don't get mean, or else I won't help you go shopping for a dress."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Another few days pass, and Wanda finds herself taking deep breaths to give herself courage again. 

Natasha just texted her that the coworker, Darcy, confirmed she was available, and everything was set. 

So now, Wanda just has to work up the nerve to tell you she has a date for Tony and Pepper's party. A girl date. 

"So," Wanda's voice is slightly shaky. The two of you are eating dinner while watching some trashy reality TV show that Wanda can't even focus on right now. Wanda wishes she hadn't said anything because now she doesn't know what else to say. "Are you, uh, excited for Tony and Pepper's party?"

You don't take your eyes off the TV, completely invested in what is happening even though you never watch reality TV on your own. 

"Yeah," you answer. "Raye will be back in town, and I'm bringing her along."

Wanda chokes on the potato that's just starting to slide down her throat. You turn over to look at her with concern as she grabs her drink. 

"You okay?" 

"Wrong pipe," Wanda gasps as she clears her throat. "What were you saying? Raye's coming with you?"

You smile, "Yeah, she's back in town later this week, but my photoshoots conflict with her schedule until the party."

"Awesome," Wanda grits out through her teeth with a forced smile. Suddenly, all that missing courage builds up in Wanda, along with pettiness. "That brings me to the fact I wanted to tell you I have a date to the party too."

"Oh?" You pause the TV, fully accepting that neither of you is watching it now with the conversation at hand. "Who's the lucky lad?"

Wanda actually hesitates. A part of her is nervous to tell you, even though she knows you'd never think of her differently or judge her. She sometimes wonders what's going on in her brain because if Wanda actually got with you, it would inevitably mean you'd know she was into girls. 

Or was she just into you?

Now was so not the time to be trying to figure this out, Wanda swallows. 

"Uh," Wanda starts, feeling a little sweaty. "It's actually with a girl. Natasha is introducing me to someone."

There's silence for a moment, and Wanda's gripping her plate of food so hard, even if she's trying to pretend she's not. In an attempt to take the pressure off herself, she stares pointedly down at her plate. 

Wanda's heart still feels like it will leap out of her chest and run to her bedroom to hide under her pillow.

"You're into girls?" You finally say after a long moment of silence.

"I think so," Wanda mumbles weakly. Well, she was definitely for sure into you. "I think I've always been but never really given it too much thought since I was dating Vis for a long time." AKA, Wanda's always been into you but never realized until recently. 

"So...now that it's really over between you and Vis, you want to try dating girls?" Your tone is careful, and Wanda wishes she could dive straight into your brain to find out what you were thinking. 

"Yeah," Wanda says, still looking at her plate. 

"I'm a little hurt."

The words make Wanda's head snap up. Your face does look a little crestfallen, even if you're smiling. 

"I guess you told Natasha first since she's setting you up on a date?"

"Oh," Wanda is caught off guard. "I mean, kind of? It just...sort of came out when I was with Natasha last. I wanted to tell you first, I just didn't know how. I think I was nervous. But I swear—"

"Relax," you smile at her. "You don't need to explain it."

"No," Wanda insists. "I did really want to tell you, but I just didn't know how to broach the subject, and I was trying to ask Nat for advice on what to do, and then it just spiraled."

You start laughing, which stuns Wanda.

"Man," you laugh into your fist, trying to balance your plate with one hand on your thighs. "Sometimes I forget how spastic you can be."

"Shut up," Wanda would throw a cushion at you, but you'd probably spill your food everywhere. 

"It's fine," you tell her sincerely. "I'm just...shocked is all."

"How come?" Wanda asks carefully, cutting up her already bite-sized potatoes even smaller to seem nonchalant. 

There's a pause, and Wanda peers through her eyelashes at you. You're lost in thought, trying to absorb the information.

"I guess...I just never thought about it either," you shrug. "I always thought you'd marry Vision and if not him, then another guy who is just barely good enough for you."

Wanda can't help but laugh at that because you've been somewhat vocal throughout the years that while you didn't mind Vision, you didn't think he was good enough for her. You got more vocal each time they broke up after getting back together. 

"So," Wanda says after the laughter dies down. "Do you think it'd be weird? Seeing me with another girl?"

You shift your weight, adjusting on the couch. Your face doesn't show much of what you're thinking, and Wanda's wondering if you're doing it to spare her feelings in any way. 

"I don't know," you finally say. "I guess maybe it depends on the girl."

The words give Wanda something to think about as you take it that the conversation has ended. You resume the TV, quietly eating your dinner, just as Wanda does. 

Wanda wonders if you're imagining yourself with her. She could definitely feel the shift in your thoughts as you process the information. 

It was out there. It was really out there that Wanda didn't just date boys. A part of her is actually curious about her date with Darcy, even though she knows that it's not really real. Wanda wants to know if she actually would enjoy dating other women or if she's only in love with you.

Natasha's right, Wanda thinks listlessly. If Darcy was anything like you personality-wise, as Natasha suggested, would Wanda be interested? If Wanda couldn't have you, would she resort to dating women like you?

Would you notice such a pattern? 

Everything is getting more complicated, and Wanda is starting to think she's digging herself into a deeper and deeper hole. In some ways, it would be easier to just confess to you outright. Yet, she can't bring herself to do it. 

There's a deep longing to make sure her odds are at their best when Wanda does. She badly wants you to feel the same, or at least be open to trying with her. 

It's probably wrong, but Wanda needs to know if it was a possibility that you'd get jealous—jealous like Wanda's been. 

Wanda really, really hopes you get jealous in the way it means you want to be the one dating her. 

"So," you say, breaking the silence. "Kind of weird that Natasha has a bunch of single coworkers, right? Wonder how they haven't started dating each other."

Wanda turns to you, a giant smile on her face. "That's what I said!"

There's no way in hell Wanda is ready to let another person have you.

PART FOUR

[omgsecretsecret]

Nap Buddies

Pairing : Han Jisung x gn!reader ; friends to lovers

Genre : fluff, fluff, fluff and fluff

Word count : about 800

Warning : cuteness

Author's note : this is my first Tumblr post ever (besides reblogging lol) so please be indulgent (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ ; the pics on top are not mine, credits to the owners

Prompts : from the list made by @quokkareactions

46. "Why don't we take a nap? We can be nap buddies."

34. "You gotta stop doing that." "What?" "Saying things that make me wanna kiss you."

Masterlist

◍｡⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠｡◍

It is the middle of the afternoon and you are in the recording studio with Jisung, settled on the small couch while he is on his computer chair working on some lyrics. You didn't mind coming here at first when he asked you to because it would help him concentrate to have you near. But right now you are getting a bit concerned.

He gives all his attention to his work as always once he gets into it, yet you notice the way he blinks so slowly and has to hold back yawns. You already knew he probably hasn't slept much last night but the dark circles under his eyes confirm your suspicions. He looks tired but you are pretty sure he's too focused on the lyrics to even realize it.

You sigh as you get up with a small groan, your body not really pleased to leave the comfy position you were in. You silently walk to him and stop behind his back, sneaking your hands on his shoulders to get his attention. You chuckle as he slightly jumps, the simple touch startling him. He looks back at you and you give him a soft smile, instinctively starting to massage his shoulders gently as you wait for him to take his headphones off. He quickly finishes writing down the lyrics he had in mind right now and turned around to face you. He could do all the details later, he had the idea.

"Yes ? he softly takes your hands in his as they slide off his shoulders.

— Well... You are obviously tired, and I'm sleepy too. you start and he speaks up before you can tell him your idea.

— I'm okay ! he protests.

— Let me finish ! you pout. So.. I was saying. You are tired, I am sleepy. Why don't we take a nap ? We can be nap buddies ! you give him the sweetest excited smile and he melts, his face softening.

— You gotta stop doing that. he chuckles, looking at you fondly.

— What ? you question, getting a bit worried that your proposition was too much.

— Saying things that make me wanna kiss you." he replies, his voice more shy than usual despite his attempt to hide his slight nervousness and appear confident.

You immediately blush, your whole body freezing on the spot. You were definitely not expecting that. You have liked Jisung for a while now, how could you not when he shoots his beautiful smile at you every time he sees you ? But you most definitely did not expect him to openly say he wants to kiss you.

"You... Really ? you look at him with hopeful eyes. He notices it, but he still hesitates to answer. After all, you did not tell him if you wanted to kiss him too or not.

— I mean... Yeah. he admits, deciding he should be honest. Is that a problem ?

— What ? No ! Of course not. I've had a crush on you for so so long. You can't even know how bad I've wanted to kiss you all this time. You stop him instantly, not wanting him to get you wrong before blushing, embarrassed at your own admission.

— It's okay, it's okay. Me too. I have liked you for a looong time. he quickly reassures you with a soft giggle and squeezes your hands still in his. I guess we're just two big idiots. he laughs.

— I guess so.." you laugh with him.

You both slowly calm down and look at each other fondly for a few silent minutes before Jisung carefully pulls you to sit on his thighs. You are a bit surprised at first but you just smile and let him do so, settling comfortably in his embrace. You wrap your arms around his neck to hug him.

"Can I get a kiss finally ?" he chuckles and you just smile before leaning in to kiss him tenderly, both of your hands coming to cuo his cute chubby cheeks.

You pull away after a few seconds of the sweetest kiss you've ever had, smiling at him softly. He grins back at you and you nuzzle your face into his neck, just relaxing in Jisung's arms. You stay like this a long time, simply enjoying each other's warmth, before you straighten up a bit to look at his eyes and speak up.

"So.. wanna take that nap ?

— Sure, babe."

◍｡⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠｡◍

do not repost, translate or rewrite without my written authorisation

[gotham--fc]

Will You Stay Here For A While Dear? - A Hilary Knight Imagine

I'm back with the next part of my Hilary series! what part are we at now i forgor You can find the rest of the parts linked on my masterlist, as always I can't tell you what to do but you really should read at least part 1 and 2 before you read this, but you do you

This ended up way longer than I anticipated, so it only goes up to the end of preseason, which means there will be at least 2 more fics of "main story" to be written and whatever else my brain comes up with

It's about 11.5k words, so read at your own pace lol, and I hope you like it as much as you liked part 1 and 2!

Title comes from the song “Billy Liar” by The Decemberists (and was also chosen by @grapefruit-personified)

It’s no surprise Hilary gets signed by Boston.

She’s been pretty open with where she wants to go. Yeah, she’s taken calls with all the teams, but Y/N knows she’s not entertaining any offers that aren’t from Boston. It’s no surprise they offer her a contract, and it’s no surprise that she signs it. Y/N’s happy for her, she really is. Hilary is excited and Y/N is excited for her. Hilary’s been fighting her entire career for this moment and after years of being given less, she finally gets what she deserves. In Boston, no less. Y/N’s thrilled for Hilary.

Y/N gets calls too. She gets plenty of calls. She talks to all the teams, talks through expectations and goals and all that jazz. She doesn’t get any offers.

And it’s fine. Teams can only sign three free agents so it’s limited and that’s fine. She’s still recovering from her concussion, so it’s not surprising. It’s fine. Y/N knows she’ll get drafted, that’s not even a question. It’s just where she gets drafted.

It’s a rough few weeks with no security. At least Hilary knows where she’s going and she’s already figuring out her move to Boston, but Y/N can't do that. She doesn’t even know if she’s moving or if she’ll get drafted by Minnesota. She half hopes not, given it’s a 22 hour drive from Boston to Minnesota, but that’s not something she can dwell on. She feels sort of like she’s floating through space while she watches Hilary pack. She has no purpose or sense of direction, can only watch Hilary pack up half of the life they’ve built here together.

“Babe?” Hilary’s voice snaps Y/N out of her thoughts.

“What? Yeah? What?”

“You okay?” Hilary asks, “You were pretty spaced out.”

“Yeah, it’s nothing,” Y/N shakes her head, then starts again. “It’s just… I’m just thinking about the draft.”

It’s something she’s been working on, they’ve both been working on, sharing what they’re feeling instead of burying it down. Y/N’s first instinct is still to say everything’s fine, and she’s fighting against it, but it’s hard. She’s trying. They’re both trying. They’re doing better.

“What about it?” Hilary asks.

“You’re going to Boston.”

“I am,” Hilary waits expectantly for Y/N to continue.

“And I don’t know where I’m going. And it’s hard to pack or prepare when I don’t know what I’m preparing for. And… I don’t know if I’m going to get drafted by Minnesota and stay here while you go miles away to Boston.”

“We’ll figure that out, no matter what happens, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Hilary takes Y/N’s hands, “Wherever we both end up, whether it’s Minnesota or Boston or New York, we’ll figure it out. We’ve been through worse, we can handle a little distance if it comes to that.”

“Yeah,” Y/N mumbles, “It could be a lot of distance.”

“I’ll never be that far from you,” Hilary says, “Even if we’re far apart, I’ll always be here. I’m a phone call away.” Hilary tilts Y/N’s chin up so they’re looking at each other. “I know I hurt you when I went radio silent on you and I know it’s probably still in the back of your mind, but I guarantee you that I will never do that to you again. You don’t have to worry about me not being on the other side of the phone, waiting for you.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

***

Draft day comes too soon and not soon enough. Y/N obsessed about it way too much but now that it’s here, she wishes she still had more time. Hilary isn’t here, she’s already in Boston setting up her new place. She said she’ll travel back and forth between Boston and Minnesota until training camp starts and she’s required in Boston full time, but that means Y/N’s alone right now and she thinks she might throw up.

She’s not technically alone. It’s the draft, so every player is here, including some of the already signed players. There’s players and agents and families and people from the league mulling around, Y/N’s own agent is a few feet away, chatting up a league exec about something. Even still, Y/N’s never felt so alone.

Then the draft begins. Y/N sits on the edge of her seat. She’s talked to the teams already so she has some idea of who wants her, but with every name called that’s not her, a pit in her stomach grows. She watches Boston go, and not pick her, New York, Montreal, and still her name isn’t called. She dreads Minnesota drafting her, but then they go and they don’t call her and she almost wishes they had. Finally, her name gets called. She gets up on shaky legs and walks to the stage. She shakes hands and hopes her hands aren’t sweaty, smiles for pictures and gets a mic shoved in her face as soon as she steps off stage.

“Did you know Toronto would draft you?”

“Um,” Y/N says, “I had an idea. I spoke to all the teams so I had an idea of who would pick me, so yeah, I guess I had an idea.” She didn’t.

“Are you excited to represent Toronto this season? What does it mean to you to play professional hockey in Canada?”

“Oh, it’s,” Y/N tries to think of what to say, “It’s indescribable. We’ve worked for so long and so hard to get a real professional league and I’m so excited to get started and Toronto is a great city, a great sports city with a lot of heart and a lot of history and a lot of hockey fans and I’m excited to be close to home.”

“Congratulations, good luck this season.”

Her agent takes her arm and drags her out of the spotlight and to a quieter corner. He begins talking contracts and all sorts of administrative work and Y/N just nods, everything going in one ear and out the other. Then, she has players, friends, teammates now, hugging her and talking about playing together and Y/N thinks she agrees to be at least five people’s roommate as she struggles to keep up with everyone talking and the lights and the noise. Y/N barely notices someone is leading her away until she’s in an empty hallway.

“You looked a thousand miles away out there,” Sarah Nurse says.

“I feel like I am,” Y/N says.

“You didn’t want to go to Toronto?” She asks.

“No, I…” Y/N rubs her eyes. She feels like she can’t see very well. “It’s not that. I’m not not happy with Toronto. I… I wish Hilary wasn’t so far away, but I’m not… I can’t fucking see.”

“You can’t see?!” Sarah freezes, “What do you mean you can’t see?”

“I’m… I just mean… I’m being dramatic,” Y/N says, “I just… everything’s blurry. It doesn’t look right. My head hurts. My ears are ringing.”

“Is it your concussion?” Sarah asks. Y/N shrugs. “You don’t have to go back out there. You can leave if you’re feeling bad.”

“Yeah,” Y/N says, “I’ve been so out of it lately. Hilary’s gone half the time and I was dreading getting drafted by Minnesota and she keeps telling me Boston’s not out of it, like they’ll draft me just because she wants me there. I have hopes on New York but I don’t know.”

“Toronto’s not the end of the world,” Sarah says, “And you and Hilary will be fine.”

“Yeah,” Y/N says, “Toronto. Yeah. Nursey I can’t go back out there. I feel like I want to lay in a dark room and try not to cry.”

“I’ll cover for you,” Sarah says, “Don’t worry about it.”

Sarah heads back out to rejoin the commotion and Y/N rubs her temples and pulls out her phone to call an Uber back to her hotel. When her phone turns back on, (she turned it off this morning when she awoke to what felt like a million messages from family and friends about the draft and what team she might end up on), she has a text from Hilary. Right. Because Hilary’s in Boston. Not here.

Saw the draft

Congrats babe call me when you get a chance?

Y/N calls her Uber first, then dials Hilary’s number.

“Hey babe,” Hilary says, “How was it? I thought I wouldn’t hear from you until later. I figured you would be celly-ing with your new teammates.”

Y/N doesn’t know why, can’t explain it, but she starts to cry.

“Shit, babe, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Y/N cries, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just feel awful.”

“I’m sorry, what can I do? Are you at your hotel?”

“No, waiting for an Uber.”

“What hotel are you at?” Hilary asks.

“What does it matter?” Y/N says, “You’re not here.”

“I’m sorry I’m not there,” Hilary says, “I wish I was with you right now. I was going to order you food to your hotel, but I understand if you don’t feel like eating anything right now.”

“You could’ve been here.”

“Baby…”

“You wouldn’t be the only one! There’s more than just those who registered for the draft. You could’ve come, even just for the night,” Y/N says.

“You know why I didn’t come,” Hilary says, “We agreed I should stay in Boston. I’m still setting up my place and I’ve got interviews and press stuff and,” Hilary sighs, “You said you felt uncomfortable with people knowing about us and that me being at the draft would be more of a confirmation that you’re ready for. You don’t get to be upset with me about a decision we both made together.”

“I want you here,” Y/N says, still crying, “We’re gonna be apart for a whole season and I just wanna be with you while I still can.”

“I know it’s hard and you just found out we’re going to be separated, and I’m sorry you’re so upset. We’re going to be okay. The season will fly by and we’ll see each other in February for the Rivalry Series and then Worlds in April. And we’ll see each other when we play against each other and we’ll find times during the season to see each other. I know this is new to you but I’ve done distance before and we can deal with it.”

Y/N wants to say I knew we wouldn’t end up on the same team from the start and how will we see each other? With what money? What time? And I just started skating again who says I’ll make the Worlds roster and who says I’ll even be at the Rivalry Series and of course you have experience and I don’t I don’t need you rubbing it in.

She says none of this.

“Yeah,” She says, her voice weak and quiet.

“I’m sorry it’s so hard. I wish I could make it easier.”

“My Uber’s here,” Y/N says as her phone vibrates with the notification.

“Alright,” Hilary says, “Do you want to keep talking on your way back?”

“No,” Y/N says, “I’m tired. My head hurts. I wanna go lie down and go to sleep.”

“Okay my love, call me in the morning.”

***

It’s hard, being in Boston.

That’s not true. Hilary loves Boston and she loves being in Boston and she loves playing hockey and she loves playing hockey in Boston. It’s not hard being in Boston. It’s exciting, rewarding, everything she’s dreamed of and more.

It’s hard being in Boston when Y/N’s in Toronto and the draft is happening and Y/N got drafted to Toronto and Hilary can’t be there to celebrate with her and now Y/N is upset and Hilary isn’t there to comfort her. Hilary understands why she’s in Boston and she understands why Y/N wants her in Boston, but she also understands why Y/N wants her in Toronto too.

It’s a complicated situation. Y/N isn’t ready to be out yet. That’s fine. Hilary gets that. After all, Hilary has been there. She’s been young and new to the public and just wanting to focus on hockey and not turn every interview into “so you came out”. Hilary has to remember she’s had years in the spotlight to get used to all of this, the public, and the fans, and the questions. Hilary came out, Hilary’s out, and yeah, it’s all anyone could talk about for months after, but now it’s over. Now it’s normal. Hilary’s out, and she’s still a pro hockey player and she’s still American and she’s still prepping for Worlds and the new league and there’s more to talk about than her sexuality.

It's fine. Hilary gets it and she’s not going to pressure Y/N into something she isn’t ready for. It’s frustrating sometimes, sure, like now when Hilary has to stay in Boston because Y/N’s scared if she’s at the draft that people will figure out Hilary’s there for her, and now they’re both unhappy. Hilary will never say it, but she thinks Y/N is too focused on other people, and too paranoid about people finding out about them. People talk, and people will talk, and people are already talking, and that won’t change whether Hilary’s in Boston or Toronto, or if she posts that she’s in the same place as Y/N, or that they’re hanging out.

But Y/N freaked out last time Hilary said anything. When Hilary came out, when she announced she wasn’t single, it was too much for Y/N, so Hilary can’t push it. She’s screwed up enough times already that she won’t risk losing Y/N for good. And yes, Hilary’s made a lot of progress towards forgiving herself and she knows she can’t dwell on the past, and she doesn’t, but she came close to losing Y/N and she will not let that happen again.

***

“Why the long face?” Kess says when Hilary’s face pops up on FaceTime.

“This is my normal face,” Hilary deadpans.

“Yikes.”

“Aren’t you busy being a bigwig for the Penguins?” Hilary says, “Why are you calling me?”

“I’m still your friend Knight,” Kess says, “Even when you’re a bitch. And for your information, I’m the biggest bigwig you know, so don’t piss me off.”

“Sorry Kess,” Hilary says, “I’ve been in a shit mood lately.”

“I couldn’t tell.”

“I will hang up.”

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Kess says, “I heard you and your girlfriend are on different teams.”

“It’s not like we can’t do distance,” Hilary starts, “We can. It’s just… She wouldn’t let me go to the draft. She said it would too obvious I was there for her and she isn’t ready to be out yet. And she called me crying after she got drafted and it’s not like I can do anything from here. And she’s not flying back to Minnesota until tomorrow and my flight isn’t for three days.”

“Change your flight,” Kess says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

“I can’t,” Hilary sighs, “She doesn’t want it to be too obvious that I’m going back and forth to see her. So I can’t fly back the same day as her because then people might figure it out.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Kess!” Hilary shakes her head, “It’s not stupid. It makes her more comfortable, it just sucks knowing she’s upset and I can’t be there.”

“Hil, why does it feel like you came out just to jump back in the closet again?”

“I didn’t!” Hilary insists, “I’m still out, it’s not like I stopped being gay. Y/N’s not out and I respect that. I was in the closet for years, Kess, I was semi-famous and in the closet for years. And things are different now. Before I came out no one cared about us. The only people who gave a shit about women’s hockey were us and a handful of people during the Olympics. I didn’t have thousands of people on the internet talking about me. I was still terrified to come out and no one even knew who I was. Can you try to see what it’s like for her? She’s young, new in her career, dating an older woman, in a sport that’s growing exponentially by the minute.”

“I do see it, and I empathize, I really do,” Kess says, “And I’m not saying anything she’s saying isn’t valid, just that you have feelings too. And clearly you feel some type of way about all this secrecy and you are allowed to have feelings about it. She’s not the only one in this relationship.”

“I fucked up Kess,” Hilary flops down on her couch. Her new house in Boston is pretty sparse. She has half unpacked boxes everywhere, a TV that sits directly on the floor, a recently purchased couch and an Ikea bedframe that’s still not built so she’s been sleeping on a mattress directly on the floor. The couch was a godsend, arriving that morning, so at least she can sit somewhere, since her kitchen table and chairs have been delayed twice.

“I hurt her so bad,” Hilary says, “And I almost lost her for good. I love her so much Kess. I’ve never felt like this with anyone and I am so terrified that I’m gonna screw up and lose her again. I don’t think I’d ever get over her, I think I’ll love her for the rest of my life and then some.”

“Wow,” Kess chuckles, “I never thought I’d see the day. Playboy Hilary is gone, her fuckboy days are over.”

“They’ve been over,” Hilary says, “I’m not 21 anymore, I can’t spend every night getting shitfaced at a club and taking home strangers and still wake up at 6am for practice.”

“I’ve never seen you like this, with anyone. I thought she wasn’t right for you because you suddenly started acting different after you met her, but I see now that it was everyone else who wasn’t right. I’m sorry I didn’t see it before, and I’m sorry I fucked up too and gave her a concussion. That…” Kess blows air out her clenched teeth, “…was not my finest moment. But, moving past that, I’m really happy for you. However, if you keep pushing your feelings down it’s not going to end well. Look what happened last time.”

“Yeah,” Hilary rubs her face, “Yeah. You’re right Kess.”

“I always am Knighter. Now get off your ass and finish unpacking your sad, empty house before I have to sic Keller and Brandt on you.”

***

“Are you okay stud?” Y/N tugs at the hood of Hilary’s hoodie as she looks out into the backyard at the dogs chasing each other. Hilary jumps a little and despite the surprise, her cheeks are slightly pink like they always are when Y/N calls her that.

The name started as a joke, after they watched Grease together for the first time. The next day, as Hilary tried to get “chang-chang, changity-chang-shoo-bop” out of her head, Y/N told her to “tell me about it, stud,” and Hilary turned the brightest red she ever has and didn’t respond for a full minute. The name stuck, and Y/N brings it out when Hilary’s least expecting it to watch her turn red and flustered.

“You’re quiet this morning,” Y/N continues.

“Sorry,” Hilary says, “I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Us,” Hilary grabs Y/N by the hips and pulls her in. Y/N puts her palms on the sides of Hilary’s neck. “I was thinking about us, our life, how much I love you.”

“Yeah? Tell me more.”

“I was thinking…” Hilary backs Y/N away from the door, “… that I love you more than anything and I would never do anything to hurt you, or upset you, or ruin what we have, you know that right?” Y/N pulls away a little.

“I feel like I should be worried.”

“No, you have nothing to be worried about,” Hilary says, “I’m not trying to worry you. I just want you to know that I love you and I want you to be happy and I want both of us to be happy and as in love as we can be.” Y/N gives Hilary a look that says and? “I just wanted to talk to you and I don’t want to fight and I don’t want you to think I’m pressuring you or invalidating your feelings, I just want to share how I’m feeling, no strings attached.”

“Wow therapy really did a number on you,” Y/N says, “Where did my emotionally stunted girlfriend go?”

“What I’m trying to say is that I understand you not wanting to be out and not wanting people to know about us and I would never ask you to do something you’re not comfortable with. I have been feeling like… I hate that I wasn’t there with you at the draft. And I hate that I’m not going to be with you this season and I hate…” Hilary sighs, “I want to be with you. I want to see you as often as I can, and I’m worried that you will get scared or anxious about people finding out about us that I won’t be able to see you. I understand the fear and the concern and I’m not suggesting you come out or that we start flaunting our relationship, but I want to be able to come visit you in Toronto without having to hide where I am or who I'm with. Do you... Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

“Is that… Are you…” Y/N huffs out a breath then fully pulls away from Hilary. Hilary watches helplessly. “Are you saying you want me to come out?”

“No!”

“You want me to… what? I either come out or I don’t, I don’t know what you’re asking me.”

“I’m not asking you for anything,” Hilary reaches out, but Y/N backs away, “Please, my love–”

“Don’t Hilary,” Y/N says, “Don’t.”

Hilary’s arms stay outstretched, in limbo. Y/N opens her mouth, then shuts it, then leaves, the front door slamming breaking the silence.

Things were so good. Hilary was happy. Every moment with Y/N made her giddy and her cheeks hurt from smiling but she couldn’t help it because every moment with Y/N was the happiest moment of her life. They spent the week following the draft going on dates, and spending every day together, staying in, going out, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was they were together. Even with the looming separation, they couldn’t be happier. And Hilary had to ruin it. Like always.

“Fuck!” Hilary swears.

The dogs start barking and Hilary lets them in. Hilary feels drained. She feels… like it’s over.

***

Y/N comes back hours later. Dinner is cold and wrapped in foil in the oven, Hilary’s poor attempt at keeping it warm, but the food has been sitting in there for at least an hour. Hilary didn’t eat, couldn’t eat, while she waited. The idea of food made her sick to her stomach, but she didn’t want Y/N to be hungry when she came home.

Hilary hears the door from where’s she’s distractedly moving clothes from the washer to the dryer. Laundry needs to be done and Hilary would’ve paced a hole in the floor if she didn’t do something, so she’s in the laundry room, wet clothes in her hands. She doesn’t say anything, not sure if Y/N wants to see her or talk to her or ignore her. She doesn’t move, barely breathes, and waits.

Y/N finds her soon enough. She charges into the room and Hilary isn’t sure what to expect. She expects Y/N to start yelling, with the determined look on her face. She certainly doesn’t expect Y/N to slap the laundry out of her hands and hug her tightly. Hilary hesitates for a moment, completely caught off guard, then hugs back, even more confused than before.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N mumbles against Hilary’s shoulder. “I should’ve heard you out. I should’ve stayed. I didn’t get what you were trying to say and I got frustrated because I hate not understanding things and ever since my concussion I can’t process things right and I’m so mad I’m still dealing with my stupid head, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t call your head stupid,” Hilary says and feels stupid for focusing on that. “I like your head the way it is,” she finishes lamely.

“I’m frustrated,” Y/N says, “All the time and I get what you’re trying to say. I get what you mean.”

“Yeah? You sort of understand now? I wasn’t trying to upset you, I just… I didn’t want to hide it from you.”

“I know,” Y/N says, “Amanda Kessel explained it to me.”

“What?”

Hilary pulls back abruptly. She feels like she’s getting whiplash from this conversation, from this whole day. In what universe does Y/N talk to Amanda Kessel? Hilary didn’t even think Kess had her number, and Y/N definitely doesn’t have Kess’s. Until now, Hilary supposes.

“I was really mad at you and I felt like you were backing off or, like not being clear on purpose so that I wouldn’t get mad? Like it felt like you wanted something from me but you refused to say it outright. And…” Y/N looks away. “And she’s your best friend and I figured if anyone knew what you were trying to say she would. And she did. She told me what you guys talked about. And then we talked about concussion stuff and it was kinda nice.”

“You… It was kinda nice?” Hilary says, bewildered, “Nice? Wh – I’m so confused. You talked to Amanda Kessel about me and it was nice? I thought you hated her.”

“I contain multitudes,” Y/N says.

“I’ll say.”

“Come on, let’s not have this conversation surrounded by your stinky laundry,” Y/N starts leading Hilary out of the laundry room.

“It’s clean!”

Hilary follows Y/N to the living room and sits on the couch. Hilary has no idea where this conversation will go, so she stays quiet.

“I’ve been unfair to you,” Y/N begins, and Hilary wants to argue immediately. “I’ve been making it all about me. After my concussion and… everything, things became about me. You took care of me and I got used to that. I haven’t been focusing on you at all. It’s going to be hard to be away from you and I hate it and I wish we were closer and I can’t change it and I got all in my head about coming out and people figuring out why we go see each other all the time. I never thought about how you feel about everything.

“I’m not ashamed of you, or trying to hide you or us. I never want you to have to hide part of yourself for me. I wanted you at the draft. I wanted… I wanted to come to Boston while you were getting your new place. I just want to be with you, all the time. I get scared and I let my fear control me. I don’t want to not see you because I’m scared people might find out. I don’t want to go a whole season without seeing you. I also don’t want every time we see each other to be spent stuck in one of our places, not going out or posting something. That’s what you were trying to tell me, wasn’t it? That you’re fine not being out with us, but that you don’t want the fear to dictate how we act.”

“Yeah,” Hilary says, “If I was better at speaking, yeah. That’s what I was trying to say.”

“You’ve been doing interviews for how long now?” Y/N teases, “And you’re not good at speaking yet?”

“Shut it or I will dump my dirty, stinky laundry on your face.”

“You said it was clean!”

***

They know the season is coming, but before it does, the Rivalry Series comes first. They have two games early November, then a few days to themselves before training camp starts. They tease each other good naturedly about it as they pack. They both know the Rivalry Series is important prep for Worlds, but they also know it doesn’t really mean anything. The results don’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but it’s fun to pretend like they do. And they both know that even if it doesn’t matter, they’re still going to give it their all and get pissed if they lose.

They fly out to Arizona together before separating to their respective teams. Y/N gets to the hotel Canada is staying at and gets her room key. She doesn’t know who she’s rooming with this camp. Jill isn’t here, and Y/N is upset about that. She feels like she hasn’t seen Jill in forever and she doesn’t know when she’ll see her again. She knows Jill’s been dealing with injury, but she hoped she would still be okay to play.

Her roommate is Jenner, which she finds out when she opens the door and Jenner is on the one bed Facetiming her kids. Jenner waves as Y/N puts her bags on the empty bed. She says a quick hello to Jenner’s kids, even though they don’t remember who she is. She doesn’t stay long, to give Jenner some privacy and to find her teammates she hasn’t seen in a minute.

It doesn’t take long to find Emma Maltais and Jamie Bourbonnais. They’re filming some Tiktok together and they’re loud enough about it that Y/N hears them from all the way down the hallway. When they see her Emma gasps and runs over. Emma hugs her while talking what seems like a mile a minute.

“Oh my god, thank god you’re finally here, Clarky’s being such a buzzkill and she won’t film with us but that’s okay because you will, right?”

It doesn’t really matter if Y/N wants to or not, she never really can say no to Emma Maltais. It’s something about her constant excitement, her puppy dog eyes, but Y/N can’t risk upsetting her. So she agrees and she lets Emma and Jamie direct her on what to do. It’s fun and it’s what Y/N misses when she’s in Minnesota and doesn’t have her national team teammates around. They record a couple and eventually they convince Clarky to join in and they record a couple more.

They goof around for hours and Y/N feels relaxed and happy about how this camp will go.

The US isn’t staying at the same hotel, but they’re not far, so Y/N gets to see Hilary when they both have free time. Hilary delivers her coffee when Y/N has early morning practices, and Y/N ends up crashing a few USA team bonding nights by sneaking into the hotel with Hilary. It’s easy to forget about hockey when they’re not on the ice and Y/N enjoys spending time with her team and Hilary and Hilary’s team, until she fails at sneaking back into her room the night before the first game and Jenner fixes her with a look that makes Y/N feel like a child.

They lose the first game. It’s a frustrating, 3-1 loss where every blocked shot, every puck that got stolen, feels like the hockey gods have it out for them. Hilary scores the first goal, then assists USA’s second. Y/N can tell Hilary’s feeling good as they head off the ice, Hilary’s loud voice echoing through the halls. Y/N feels like shit. She couldn’t do anything to help her team, and she wanted to come back firing from her concussion, show that she’s even better than before. Instead, she fumbled two passes, had all of her shots blocked by a defender so they didn’t even make it to the net.

They lose the next game too. The US goes up early, and Canada spend the rest of the game trying to catch them. Every time Y/N starts to feel like they’re back in it, the US scores, or someone takes a penalty and by the time the game ends, Y/N’s ready to wipe this whole camp from her mind.

If 3-1 is frustrating, 5-2 is humiliating. Hilary didn’t score, but she got two assists. Hilary comes away from camp with four points and two wins. Y/N leaves with zero points and zero wins and the belief that her time with the national team has come to an end.

She still has to see Troy Ryan though. He’s her coach now, all the time, and Y/N likes him, they all do, but she just had a horrible camp in front of him and now she has to fight for a spot on a roster and hope he hasn’t already decided her fate.

***

Training camp almost sneaks up on them.

It can’t, not really, because it’s marked in the calendar and they are all too aware of how few days they have left together. Hilary’s place in Boston is already fully set up, her having more time to prepare, and Y/N’s place is getting there, and she has the help of Sarah Nurse, her roommate. Even though they can both afford to live alone, Sarah argued there’s nothing worse than returning home to an empty house every day and Y/N can’t argue with that. So at least Y/N doesn’t have to be in Toronto all the time since Sarah’s there and can pick up packages she ordered, or set up the living room furniture with the help of their teammates who are already in the city.

The date looms over them, even as they try to ignore it and just enjoy their time together. Y/N finds herself doing things she normally hates, or wouldn’t do, just to do them with Hilary. They work out together, that’s normal, but Y/N wakes herself up at the ass crack of dawn to go running because Hilary is. She watches shitty TV shows that Hilary is obsessed with that she could not care less about, just to sit with Hilary on the couch for hours. They only have two full days together before they’re required to join their teams for training camp. Y/N does everything she can to spend as much time with Hilary as possible.

Y/N wakes up the morning of her flight and wants to bury her head under the blankets. She feels Hilary shift and shut the alarm off. Y/N groans when Hilary’s arms come back around her.

“Good morning sunshine,” Hilary says. Y/N responds with another groan.

“We should just stay,” Y/N says, “We should retire and live here forever.”

Hilary chuckles.

“You don’t mean that,” Hilary kisses Y/N on her head.

“I don’t wanna go,” Y/N says quietly, “I’ll miss you too much.”

“We’ll see each other in a couple of weeks for the Rivalry Series and we’ll have some time off at Christmas, and then once the season starts we’ll play each other every couple of weeks and we can see each other on off days,” Hilary says, “I’ll miss you too, but the season will fly by and then we’ll be together again."

"Yeah, you’re right,” Y/N turns in Hilary’s arms until they’re facing each other.

“We gotta get up if we’re going to get to the airport on time.”

The morning is quiet. They eat breakfast in silence, Y/N going over her mental checklist in her head, making sure she’s packed everything. Hilary’s on her phone, no doubt going over the traffic report. Hilary's flight is later in the day, and Y/N told her not to get up early and to wait until closer to her flight to head to the airport, but Hilary insisted on going with Y/N, even if that meant waiting at the airport for hours.

“We should be okay for traffic,” Hilary says, breaking the silence, “You all packed?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Yeah.”

After they finish eating, Y/N washes their dishes while Hilary brings their bags to the door and calls for an Uber.

As they drive, Y/N stares out the window at her former home, not knowing when she would be back. (That’s a lie. She knows when she’ll be back, she knows the schedule, she knows when she’ll be back in Minnesota). She looks at Hilary. She doesn’t know when she’ll see Hilary again. (Another lie. She knows they’re all going to Utica for preseason. She knows Hilary will be there).

At the airport, Y/N tugs her hood up and ducks her head. It’s hard to remain inconspicuous with Hilary fucking Knight beside you, and Y/N feels the tips of her ears burning with each step they take. Hilary, to her credit, is trying not to draw attention to herself. She has a hat pulled down low and sunglasses on, but she’s still Hilary Knight and a hat and glasses won’t change that.

They get through security fairly easily, both of them experienced travelers that they’re prepared ahead of time with all their documents ready. Y/N knows she’ll have to go through customs once she gets to Canada, and she hates that she has to do that and Hilary doesn’t, because Hilary’s staying in the same country. Y/N’s not upset at playing in Canada. She’s Canadian, she loves being in Canada and playing in Canada, it’s not that. It’s the fact that Hilary isn’t that gets her. She spent so much time worrying about Minnesota and the 22 hour drive that she forgot to consider the Canadian teams and the 10+ hour drives and the border. Even if they flew to each other they have to cross a border and go through customs.

Hilary goes with Y/N to wait by her gate. They find a table to sit at and set down their carry-ons. Y/N wants to put her head down on the table and fall asleep. Hilary seems wide awake, no doubt the coffee she drank before they left. Ever since Y/N had to quit coffee because of her concussion, she never went back. She sleeps better, she’s less anxious, she gets less headaches, and sure while she would like a quick caffeine boost on mornings like this, she’s okay.

“Do you want something to eat or drink?” Hilary asks, “I can go find something while you stay here with our stuff.”

“Some tea?” Y/N asks, “Can you fill up my water bottle too?”

“Of course, good idea.”

Y/N watches Hilary walk away from her and has to close her eyes. Even though Hilary is coming right back, it still feels like she’s leaving, moving further and further away with every step she takes. Y/N’s glad her flight is first. She won’t have to watch Hilary walk away.

Y/N doesn’t want to use up all her phone battery before she even gets on the plane, so she tries to find something to entertain herself while she waits for Hilary. She brought a book, but she doesn’t feel like reading. She ends up staring out the window at the tarmac and watching the planes take off.

“Having fun?”

Y/N jumps when Hilary sits beside her, placing her tea and water bottle in front of her. Y/N thanks her and blows on the tea to cool it down a bit.

“I know it’s probably not as good as, uh, Tom’s right?” Hilary says. Y/N rolls her eyes.

“It’s Tim’s and you know it,” Y/N says, “And Timmies isn’t known for their teas. They have them but they’re just regular tea bags in water. But they really went off with the double double. I might have to go back to coffee.”

“Nah, I bet you’re going to spend all your money on their little donuts.”

“Hilary you cannot be this dense,” Y/N says, “You lived in Canada before. You know they’re called Timbits. I can tell you’re just trying to rile me up.”

“And it’s working right?”

Y/N turns her head away so Hilary won’t see her smile. Hilary laughs, leaning into Y/N’s space and trying to get Y/N to stop avoiding her eyes. Y/N thinks of ‘accidentally’ spilling her tea on Hilary’s lap, but decides that’s probably a really bad idea. She settles for sticking her tongue out at Hilary instead.

Hilary brought cards, because of course she did, and she deals them a hand of Go Fish. After a few rounds, they switch to War, and then Slap, until others around them started giving them dirty looks, then they switched back to War. They’re halfway through a game of Crazy 8s when the PA announces Y/N’s flight.

“I don’t want to go,” Y/N says and she feels like a broken record with how often she says it.

“It won’t be for long baby,” Hilary stands up after Y/N and pulls her in for a hug. Y/N leans into it and tries to memorize Hilary’s scent and her voice and everything about her.

“Promise you’ll always pick up the phone?” Y/N asks in a small voice.

“I promise, cross my heart, scouts honour.”

Y/N reluctantly pulls away and grabs her bag. She hesitates, staring at Hilary, until the PA announces her boarding call again and she turns to the line that’s started moving. She hugs Hilary again and turns away quickly before Hilary can see the tears forming in her eyes.

The only problem with not having to watch Hilary walk away, is having to walk away herself, leaving Hilary standing by herself in the middle of the airport, feeling Hilary’s eyes burning into the back of her skull until she turns the corner and knows she’s out of sight.

***

Hilary supposes Y/N has a point.

Ever since Y/N’s concussion, and maybe for their whole relationship, things have been about Y/N. Not that Hilary’s been ignored, or neglected, but Hilary has spent most of her time trying to make sure Y/N’s happy, that Y/N’s okay and comfortable and comforted. It isn’t until she’s in Boston, alone, that she realizes she’s not okay.

It’s not that she didn’t realize what playing on two different teams means, of course she knows what that means, it’s just that… she didn’t quite process it. She focused on making sure Y/N was okay, that Y/N would be okay with the distance, that she didn’t focus on making sure she was okay.

Y/N never wanted to talk about Boston. She never wanted to hear Hilary tell her Boston was still an option, that just because they didn’t sign her didn’t mean they wouldn’t draft her. So Hilary didn’t talk about it, but it was always in the back of her mind. It was best case scenario for Hilary. She plays professional hockey in a city she loves, and her girlfriend stays by her side. Of course that wasn’t guaranteed, so Hilary accepted that New York would be okay. New York isn’t that far.

Of course, Hilary couldn’t rule out the Canadian teams. Montreal would be fine, a little farther, and sure there’s the rivalry, but Hilary doesn’t care about that. Hilary went through every scenario in her head, but she never really let herself think of anything but Boston. Hilary didn’t want to stress about something that hadn’t happened yet, so she didn’t. But that just meant she wasn’t prepared to hear Toronto announce Y/N’s name.

She wasn’t prepared for how helpless she felt, listening to Y/N crying over the phone and not being there. She wasn’t prepared for them both packing up their house, and having to split their belongings. Hilary wasn’t prepared to remember or decide who owned what, and who needed what where. She wasn’t prepared to go to the airport and then get on different flights.

The first day of training camp is tomorrow, so tonight Hilary is home and trying to prep. She’s packing her hockey bag, making sure she has everything, that nothing got misplaced in the move, and she notices her favourite towel is missing. Then she remembers it’s Y/N’s towel that she kept taking. And suddenly Hilary wants to cry.

She doesn’t. She doesn’t because she’s a big girl and they haven’t been separated for that long and Hilary can handle her girlfriend being in another country for a few weeks. It’s nothing she hasn’t done before.

She doesn’t call Y/N. Her finger hovers over Y/N’s contact before she redirects. Keller pick up on the second ring.

“What’s up Knighter?”

“Are you busy right now?” Hilary asks.

“I was about to go restock my fridge since I don’t think a singular open can of tuna will cut it for dinner, why?”

“Can I come with?” Hilary asks, “I mean, I don’t want to ruin your plans. I just… I’m bored. Wanted to see if you felt like hanging out.”

“Sure Knight,” Keller says, “Come over.”

***

“So,” Keller says as Hilary pushes the cart behind her, “You were bored enough to come get groceries with me?”

“Sue me for wanting to hang Keller,” Hilary says, “I could’ve called anyone.”

“And you still called me,” Keller turns around to wink at Hilary and stick her tongue out. Keller puts something in the cart. “How are things with the wife?” Keller asks. Hilary almost chokes on her own spit. “Heard she’s in Toronto. How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine,” Hilary says, “I’ve done distance before.”

“Not what I asked, but okay.”

“I’m fine!” Hilary insists, “It’s not like she died. She’s in another city. I can talk to her whenever.”

“Another country.”

“It’s not even a different time zone.”

“Do you really expect me to believe you were that bored? That nothing else is going on?” Keller says, “Do I need to call Kess and get her to beat it out of you?” Hilary sighs.

“I just miss her. Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not laughing,” Keller says, “Why don’t you call her?”

“We talked last night,” Hilary says, “And I’m fine. It’s not a big deal.”

“You’re only allowed to call when you’re in bed?” Keller asks, “Is it a sex thing? Do you only call to have phone sex?”

“You are the worst friend I have,” Hilary says, “It’s not… I can’t tell her. I’m supposed to be handling this better. I told her we would be fine. I can’t call her now and tell her I’m not fine. I’ll be fine. I just don’t have anything to do and I just think about her when I’m alone and bored. I’ll be fine when training camp ramps up and I have something to do.”

Keller stares at Hilary for a moment, not saying anything, then:

“You’re a real idiot, Knighter, you know that?”

***

Hilary is always thrilled to be on the ice, even for training camp which has a weird atmosphere of players knowing they have a spot and treating this like regular preseason, and players who know their spot’s not guaranteed so they play their hearts out every minute.

The first few practices aren’t very smooth. No one really plays well, but that’s to be expected. They’re coming from all over, different teams, different leagues, and it takes time to learn and build chemistry with each other. Hilary leaves practice feeling like crap even though she knows she shouldn’t, and she tries to act like the older, more experienced player, tries to take on the leadership role of telling everyone not to sweat it, that it’ll come, but it’s hard when she doesn’t believe what she’s saying.

Things get better. They always do. The team gets used to playing with each other, the coaches find consistent lines so they’re not switching it up every five minutes. Hilary feels confident about the season.

Her and Y/N talk as often as they can. It’s not as much as Hilary wants, but she has to make do. They have skype dates, which suck in comparison to real dates, but seeing Y/N’s face, even through her laptop screen is better than nothing.

It’s a few weeks of training camp and then the final rosters are announced. Hilary feels bad for the girls who get cut. It’s the reality of only having six teams and a limited number of spots. She knows she can’t make it better, but she still makes a point to reach out to all of them and compliment them on their playing and tell them to keep it up. The league will expand and there will be more spots and Hilary doesn’t want anyone feeling like they’ve lost their chance.

Training camp ends and preseason begins. Hilary feels like she’s going to vibrate out of her skin. All the teams are going to Utica. Y/N is going to Utica. Y/N is going to be in the same city as Hilary.

Their first game is against each other.

Hilary hates when she has to play against Y/N, but she also kind of loves it. She loves riling Y/N up, getting under her skin, watching her get increasingly annoyed by Hilary, and then having her joking lecture Hilary about it after the game. Hilary likes it when she wins and gets to gloat and brag about her win, but she also likes when Y/N wins because the easy, joyful confidence that borders on arrogance looks really damn good on Y/N. Either way, Hilary reasons, she walks away from the game as a winner.

Hilary doesn’t end up playing, Courtney Kessel deciding to rest her and a few other players, and to see what the rest of the players can do. That was her justification to Hilary when she told her she wasn’t dressing, that she already knows what Hilary can do, what she brings to the team, and she wants to see what everyone else can bring. Hilary gets it, even if it annoys her, and not just because she doesn’t get to play Y/N, but also because she hates having to watch from the stands and not being able to do anything for her team on the ice.

Boston loses, 5-2, and it’s preseason so it doesn’t matter and winning or losing isn’t the point, and Hilary knows that so she joins the team in the locker room and nods along as their coaches go over what they did well and what they need to work on.

Y/N’s waiting for Hilary outside the locker rooms. She’s freshly showered, her hair still wet and dripping on her shoulders, and she wears a smug smile that means Hilary’s in for a night of insults and brags.

“We both have games tomorrow,” Hilary says before Y/N can say anything, “So don’t expect me to stay up late listening to you gloat about a preseason game against undrafted invitees.”

“You’re no fun,” Y/N leans up on her toes to kiss Hilary.

“Come on,” Hilary takes Y/N’s bag from her. It’s not her hockey bag, that one gets handled by the equipment staff, so it's not big or heavy, but what kind of girlfriend would Hilary be if she let Y/N carry her own bag after she played a full game of hockey.

“I’m not going to play tomorrow,” Y/N says on the way back to the hotel.

“That makes sense,” Hilary says, “Make sure everyone plays and rest those who are already a guarantee.”

Y/N is quiet for a few moments. Hilary glances a look over at her and Y/N’s hands are shoved deep in her pockets and she stares down at her feet. It’s such a contrast to how Y/N looked at the rink. The smugness, the happiness seems to be sapped out of her and Hilary doesn’t know why.

“I’m pretty sure I’ll get cut,” Y/N says.

“What?” For a second Hilary isn’t sure she heard right.

“I’ve been playing like shit. Coach already took a risk on Spoons and she’s got more experience than me. He’ll want her more than me, and I just keep showing that I’m not back to where I was before my concussion and I’ll probably never be.”

“That’s bullshit,” Hilary says. Y/N scoffs. “I mean it! All of us are rusty, no one is at their peak and that doesn’t mean you’re going to get cut. You’ve played one preseason game, no one is expecting you to play like you’re in midseason form.”

“I played like shit at the rivalry games and I’ve been playing like shit all training camp. You’re not rusty, you got four points at the rivalry games. I bet you’ll score tomorrow and I’ll be lucky if coach even lets me ride the bench for the season.”

“Y/N…” Hilary doesn’t know what to say. Y/N’s been making great progress with her insecurities, understanding that one bad game or one bad practice doesn’t determine what kind of player she is, and this conversation feels like they’re back to square one. Hilary wants to rant and rave about how amazing Y/N and how hard she is to play against and list every good play Y/N’s made in her entire career, but Hilary knows Y/N won’t hear it. At least not right now.

“Do you think he’ll cut Spoons too? Or Maltais? She didn’t get any points today and she took a couple of penalties,” Hilary says.

“No, of course not. He’d be stupid if he did.”

“I wish you would grant yourself the same grace you give others,” Hilary says, “I wish you could see yourself the way I do.”

Y/N doesn’t answer. She doesn’t say anything the rest of the way back, and she pulls Hilary into her hotel room and drags her onto the bed. Hilary’s normally the big spoon, which is fine with her because she loves getting to hold Y/N, but tonight, Y/N pushes at Hilary until she rolls over, her back to Y/N. Y/N tucks herself against Hilary, her arms around Hilary’s waist and her nose pressed between Hilary’s shoulder blades. Hilary grabs Y/N’s hand and holds it tightly.

***

Y/N doesn’t play the next day. She sits with the other players who aren’t dressing and watches Toronto lose 5-4. She heads down to the locker room with the rest of the team and listens to Troy Ryan’s speech.

“Could’ve used you out there,” Blayre pats Y/N’s shoulder as Troy finishes and the team begins to trickle out.

“Oh my god yes,” Nursey pipes up, “Imagine if we had her in the neutral zone.”

Y/N doesn’t really know what to say. She doesn’t know what they think she could’ve done, and she doesn’t think she’s allowed to say that she doesn’t think she would’ve done anything if she had played.

“So,” Nursey nudges Y/N, “Should I vacate the hotel room for you and Hilary tonight or are you kicking her roommate out?”

“What? Oh,” Y/N fumbles around with her bag just to give herself something to do, “I don’t uh, probably, uh, I don’t know. I don’t know what Hilary wants to do.”

Everyone’s starting to trickle out of the locker room, so Y/N thinks it’s alright if she does too. She’s not looking up when she leaves, just wanting to get out of the arena and away from all things hockey as soon as she can.

“Hey Hilary Knight!” Sarah’s voice booms, “Do I get to stay in my own hotel room tonight or should I find somewhere else to sleep?”

Y/N’s head snaps up, and there’s Hilary, standing in the hallway, waiting for her.

“Nah,” Hilary says, “We kicked you out last night, Brandt can figure it out.”

“What are you doing here?” Y/N says to Hilary once the team has mostly dispersed from the hallway, “Don’t you have a game, like right now?”

“Yeah,” Hilary shrugs, “But we had to wait for you guys to clear off the ice first so.”

“We’re off the ice, so you should be on it,” Y/N says. Despite her words and her tone, Y/N is actually touched that Hilary’s here. Hilary, who should be with her team, who should be warming up, who should be using these precious preseason games to build chemistry with her new team, who should be acting as captain and putting hockey first over everything, is here, waiting outside another team’s locker room for a few minutes of conversation with her girlfriend.

“I’ll go in a sec,” Hilary says, “I just wanted to see you. I’ll text you when I’m back to the hotel? If you’re up for it we could grab dinner and hang.”

“I’d like that,” Y/N says. Hilary makes a move as if she’s going to leave, and Y/N drops her bag on the ground, and hugs Hilary tight around the waist. Hilary hugs her back immediately. Y/N closes her eyes, buries her head in Hilary’s chest. Y/N forces herself to pull back after a moment, she knows Hilary needs to go. Hilary doesn’t let her go far though, pulling her back in to give her a few pecks before letting her go.

“You really need to go,” Y/N says, “And I’m gonna miss the bus.”

“It must be the end of the world if you have to stay and watch me play and ride back with us later.”

“I’d rather not be put on house arrest for the rest of preseason. You know Troy would find a way to keep me away from all the other teams.”

“Yeah,” Hilary grimaces, “You better go.”

***

It doesn’t quite sink in until later, what being on two different teams means.

Yes, Y/N knows what it means and she knows they’ll be living in two different cities, she knows this. She’s been grappling with it since the league was announced, since before they even knew they were going to be on different teams. It occurs to her, later, when Y/N is giving Nursey an apologetic look as Hilary shows up at their hotel room, that they’ve been living in some sort of a bubble.

The Rivalry Series, preseason, they’ve been on different teams, but in the same place. They’re still seeing each other every day, no matter how brief, even if it’s just passing each other in the hall, they still see each other. They spend every night in one of their hotel rooms, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

Hilary flops on Y/N’s bed like it’s her own, throwing her beanie on top of Y/N’s suitcase on the floor. She grabs the tv remote and flips through the hotel’s limited channels. She sits with one arm behind her head, her legs crossed over each other, sweatpants low on her hips, shirt rising up. Y/N doesn’t even notice Nursey leaving.

“Are you just going to stand there staring at me all night?” Hilary teases. Y/N rolls her eyes and joins Hilary on the bed. Hilary shifts instinctively, letting Y/N fit under her arm. Hilary’s still channel flipping.

It strikes Y/N then, that she doesn’t get this anymore in less than a month. She only gets Hilary for another week or two at most. And then all she’ll get is a handful of times when their teams play each other. It makes her want to cry. In fact, she does, lowering her head and trying to make sure Hilary doesn’t see.

Hockey has always been Y/N’s safe place. Whenever she has doubts or insecurities, or when her brain won’t shut off, or when she just needs to be good, she has hockey. She’ll shoot pucks in a net in the driveway if she has to. Wherever she is, whatever is going on, she’s always had hockey.

With her concussion, Y/N didn’t have hockey. She didn’t have that escape when she needed to forget the world. And even now, even though she can play again, hockey doesn’t turn her brain off. She gets in her own head about hockey now. She’s not 100% yet and she doesn’t know if she ever will be and every second she’s on the ice, she’s paranoid about how she’s playing and every time she’s near the boards it’s like she can feel the phantom presence of skaters behind her, ready to shove her again. Every time she takes a hit she panics that she’s hurt her head again.

She realizes in that moment, hockey isn’t her escape, Hilary is. Every time she needs to shut her brain off, she’s turned to Hilary. When the media, when her head, when her fear threatens to consume her, she has Hilary to distract her until she feels better. And she realizes that soon Hilary will be miles away, hours away, and she won’t be able to just go to Hilary or have Hilary come to her and make it all better.

Oh god, Y/N thinks, how the hell am I going to last a whole season without her?

***

After preseason, the next leg of the Rivalry series comes. It feels like the month goes by so quickly, but Hilary loves it. She spends the whole time playing hockey and hanging with her friends and being with Y/N. She’s fought so hard for this league and now that it’s here, she’s spending every moment soaking it in and being grateful that it’s finally here.

The first game is in Kitchener. Y/N’s not from Toronto, but her hometown is only a few hours away, so she always talks about Toronto like it’s home. Whenever someone asks Y/N where she’s from, she’ll say Toronto. It took Hilary months to learn that Y/N didn’t actually grow up in Toronto.

“It’s just easier,” Y/N explained, “People know where Toronto is. I don’t have to try and explain where I’m from and everyone would just ask what the nearest big city is, or if it’s near Toronto. It’s just easier.”

Kitchener isn’t Toronto, Hilary knows this, but it’s only a few hours away. Y/N’s family will be at the game. Hilary hasn’t not met Y/N’s family, but apart from a few phone calls where she stuck her head in to say hi, she hasn’t really met them. At the Olympics, Y/N’s family had been there, but she wasn’t ready for them to meet Hilary, she wanted to wait until the Olympics were over. Then, her concussion, and they were almost broken up, and well, there just hasn’t been a good time.

If asked, Hilary wouldn’t say she’s nervous. She’s met lots of people’s families before, her partners’ families, her friends’ families, and everyone loves her. Hilary is actually really good at the ‘meeting the family’ thing that she never worries when someone’s relative approaches her. However, she loves Y/N. She loves Y/N more than anything and she doesn’t know if they know anything about their almost breakup or how awful Hilary was or if they know that it was partially Hilary’s fault that Y/N got a concussion.

What Hilary is mostly concerned about is that they know about all of it and they’ve already decided they don’t like her. That they’ll tell Y/N they don’t approve and Y/N will break up with her, for good this time.

It’s a bit dramatic, and Hilary knows how much Y/N loves her. Everything has been so good. A couple of bumps with the draft and being on different teams and not being out and they’re finally in a good place with all of it. They’ve been through so much and come out on the other side that Hilary knows Y/N isn’t going to throw everything away, throw her away, no matter what her family says.

It still makes her nervous though.

In the end, none of it really matters.

The US wins in overtime and Hilary and her teammates celebrate the hard fought win and going up 3-0 in the series. After the game, the locker room talks, and everyone finds their way to the buses and talks of what they’re going to do to celebrate when they get back (quietly, where the coaches can’t hear because they technically have a curfew because they have to leave for the next game tomorrow and they’re supposed to be resting and recovering) Hilary backs out of the celebrations and goes in the opposite direction of the bus. She’s already cleared it with the coaching staff and promises to be back in the hotel before curfew and she meets Y/N and her family in the parking lot.

“Hey, good game,” Hilary says to Y/N, “Too bad we were just better.”

“Shut up Hil,” Y/N rolls her eyes and gives Hilary a quick hug. Hilary turns to Y/N’s parents and offers her hand.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you – oh.”

Y/N’s mom ignores the hand and hugs Hilary. Y/N’s dad shakes her hand after the hug ends and as they walk to the car, Hilary doesn’t feel like an outsider, she feels like she’s part of the family. She pulls Y/N close to her side, kisses the side of her head, and keeps her smile pressed to Y/N’s hairline.

“What are you smiling about?” Y/N asks.

“I love you,” Hilary says, “I’m happy to be here with you. I’m happy to be a part of your life. I could do this forever with you, you know that?”

“Forever’s a long time,” Y/N says.

“Not with you it’s not.”

Hilary turns her head away and sees Y/N’s mom watching them, a smile on her face. Hilary doesn’t know what she was worried about.

***

They have a bit of a break for Christmas. Not a long one, but enough time to have the actual holiday off. The first game is January 1st, so they basically get Christmas Day off and are told they should report to their teams ASAP. Hilary’s fine with that, having lived the professional athlete life long enough to be used to missing holidays or just barely making them at all.

Hilary and Y/N had floated the idea around of spending Christmas together, but with their families in separate places, they decided to spend Christmas with their own families. Hilary wants to spend Christmas with Y/N, especially since they’re about to be separated for five months, but she sees her own family so little as it is, that she doesn’t have the heart to tell her mom she can’t come.

Hilary’s figuring out flights when she calls her mom to sort out their plans.

“Is it just you or is Y/N joining us?” Cynthia asks.

“Just me Mom,” Hilary says, “She’s seeing her family.”

“Is that what you want?” Cynthia asks.

“I want to spend it with her, but she doesn’t get to see her family ever and I respect that.”

“You know I love you and I would love you being here, but I don’t want you here if you’re going to spend your whole time on the phone with her. If your head is where she is then that’s where you should be too.”

“Mom,” Hilary says, “I can’t do that. It’s Christmas. I already made plans to come home.”

“You haven’t booked flights yet.”

“Mom.”

“I won’t be upset if you do come home,” Cynthia says, “You know I love whenever I get to see you, but I don’t want you sulking around my house on Christmas because you’d rather be somewhere else. We’ll come see you during the season and you’ll have the whole offseason to come see us. If you want to be with her, you should be with her.”

***

Y/N loves seeing her family. She hasn’t been able to be home much in recent years. She loves being home, but she can’t help being a little distracted. Hilary texted her ‘good morning’ earlier, but since then, Y/N hasn’t heard anything. It’s not the end of the world, since Hilary is probably busy with her own family, but it still bothers Y/N.

“How are you feeling about the season?” One of Y/N’s cousins asks. Y/N snaps back into the conversation.

“Oh, uh, I think it’ll be good. I’m excited to play,” Y/N says, “I’m… I’m nervous, because of my head, but the docs say I’m all good to play and hopefully no one’s gonna knock me head first into the boards again,” Y/N laughs.

Y/N keeps up the conversation, even though she’s half focused on her phone and the lack of message notifications. She’s too distracted to notice her own family looking at their phones, and too distracted to notice her mom getting up and opening the front door.

“It’s not fair that Y/N gets her present early,” Y/N’s cousin speaks up. Y/N looks up in confusion and almost chokes on air.

“Hi baby,” Hilary says, standing in the living room, bags at her feet, looking tired.

“Wh… What are you doing here?” Y/N stammers.

“Surprising you,” Hilary answers with a smile.

Y/N’s mom tells Y/N to take Hilary up to her room and get her settled before dinner. Y/N does, still in shock that Hilary’s here.

“I thought I might at least get a hug,” Hilary says once Y/N closes her bedroom door behind them, “After all, I did just fly all the way here to spend Christmas with you.”

Y/N takes Hilary’s bags from her, and drops them on the bed. Then she pulls Hilary into a hug. She takes a deep breath, taking in the scent and the feel of Hilary being here, with her.

“What are you doing here?” Y/N asks, not letting Hilary go.

“I want to spend as much time with you as I can before the season starts. I’m going to miss you so much.”

“I’ll miss you too,” Y/N says.

“Should we go back and join everyone?” Hilary asks. Y/N shakes her head.

Hilary did all of this, flew all this way, coordinated with her family, gave up Christmas with her own family, to spend it with Y/N. It almost hurts, how much Y/N loves Hilary. Y/N loves her so much, and she’s never felt as loved as she does with Hilary, and here, in her room, with the sounds of her family’s laughter downstairs, and with Hilary’s arms around her, Y/N can’t help but think how lucky she is.

And how much the next five months will suck.

[tototalks]

Three quarters through King’s Rising! 🛡️🗡️

This will probably be my second to last post covering the main story, and honestly what am I actually going to do with myself after the end of this trilogy? 🫠

- Laurent and Jokaste finally meeting each other girlboss to girlboss. Blonde bitch to blond bitch. I’m living for it. Feels like watching a game of chess.

- THE BABY!!! 😨 Hard to know if she’s telling the truth on this one. But I like that either way Laurent may be a schemer and plotter, but he will not put a child in harm’s way. (Personal headcanon that after he becomes king, he outlaws underaged pets and calls it ‘Nicaise’s Law’)

- “I’m just here.” - Damen has been through so much in such a short space of time. It makes sense he just feels numb as is burned out. He’s been endlessly supportive and needs that support reciprocated too.

- The entire conversation between Damen and Laurent finally being their true identities and selves. So so vulnerable and bare. Finally all out in the open with no more secrets. Being scared and doing it anyway. I adored this. ♥️

- I also love that they’re sexually passionate for each other. Laurent especially is finally getting to take charge of his own sexuality with someone he loves and trusts. Truly stellar writing throughout that whole scene. My heart aches in a good way this time. They can finally just be in love.🙂

- I can really get behind the idea of Auguste and Damen getting along really well had circumstances been different. I feel so robbed of the fact they never got to be brothers-in-law.

- Veretians will never not confuse me with their “your ankles are showing” fully laced and buttoned modesty contrasted to the whole “oh yeah the council view the consummation of marriage.” thing - poor Pallas lol.

- Watching Laurent and Damen banter and tease and smile and laugh is literally everything I wanted for them.

- Someone should tell Kyrina snitches get stitches.

- Jokaste: “he’s a snake.”

Damen (heart eyes): I know 🥰

- Damen seeing Laurent in Akielon clothing and fully Looney Tunes dropping a pitcher of water. Iconic. That’s your man, hun, take it in. You earned it!

- LAURENT DID NOT JUST PRETEND TO BE JOKASTE 😂😂😂😂😂

- Imagine being Nikandros and trying to give your friend some advice to take his best rider on their next Metal Gear Solid mission only for said friend’s feral albino cat who hates you to butt in and declare himself just that person. Wild. Someone help Nik.

- I love that every time something goes down everyone is like “well Kastor is dumb af so this must be Jokaste’s doing.” As 👏 she 👏 should 👏

- “Is this how you do things in Vere?” “What? Effectively?” Lol okay Elle Woods

- The Akielons and Veretians bonding around the fire. There is hope for peace.🥺

- LAZAR AND PALLAS??!! I AM IN FULL SUPPORT!! (I did this with Jord and Aimeric too, so please turn out better than that, I beg.)

- As someone in an intercultural and interracial relationship, I love that Laurent and Damen can rib each other about the differences in their customs and laugh about it while also showing each other the best of it. Accurate and sweet ♥️

- And off we go through Akeilos!! I am so excited for the final chapters! 🥰

[wandering-tides]

TNE Fandom where are you?

Sujin shippers where are you?

I have Fics to Rec

I don't really go out of my way to rec fics (and I dunno why I have never done this before on tumblr), but BY GOD, have these two fics taken a special place in my heart.

I ADORE everything about them.

They are both Suho x Hajin ships

But the ship aside, I am so incredibly grateful for the authors to have brought them to life and allowed us to read these absolute GEMS of a fic in this little, little fandom of The Novel's Extra.

Really, y'guys have no idea how giddy and excited I get at every update.

Now, the fic in question?

1. Flowers of Agápē by DescendedGaia (Not sure if the author has a tumblr or any other social media... but lemme know if you want me to tag you :) )

Kim Hajin is a failure. There's no two ways to look at that objective truth. It's a truth that resonates through how others look at and ridicule him. It's a truth that echoes infinitely inside his head, compounding and doubling down on his inadequacies. It's a truth, despite the unconditional love of two parents that soothe but cannot dispel those haunting doubts. Kim Suho is simply perfection. The desperate vessel and ideal of Hajin's "ifs" and wishes. Because Kim Suho, the protagonist of Hajin's novel, is everything Hajin wants to be for his parents and more. But, that same story falls apart at the seams the same way Hajin has lost faith in himself. Yet, as the common narrative dictates, everything begins anew with an innocuous email requesting to remake Hajin's novel, his desperation and desire incarnate.

*** Alternatively, the extremes of Korean culture break Kim Hajin into someone who feels much more acutely, and everything shifts to the left.

This is such a MASTERPIECE. Hajin's characterisation in here is just *chefs kiss*. For me, thats one of the biggest plus points in this fic. Hajin is so much more emotionally sensitive in here and feels far more acutely than in the orignal, as should have been.

This fic has been adressing almost all the points that made me frown at or dislike in the orignal novel and manhwa (and from what I can notice, almost every one too).

This fic is kinda a rewrite of the orignal novel, (tho the author follows the manhwa flow of the story) with added Suho interactions, and such good characterization of Hajin, I fell in love at first read LMAO.

So far, there aren't any major spoilers (unless you read the author end note, where they give their own tid-bits of the chap, which sometimes contain spoilers too, or go to the comment section which may sometimes give you spoilers to the novel lol) If you are caught up with the manhwa, or atleast the season 1 of manhwa, then so far there won't be any spoilers for you!

And I think i'll stop talking about it here cuz if I keep going, I think i'll end up giving in-fic spoilers Lmao

(Oh, btw, this updates every other thursday! So far, it's been consistent in its updates ^^)

So onto the next fic!

2. Mountain To No one by @thek1ngtalks (as k1ng0fn0b0dy on ao3)

There's a number on his smartwatch that leads to nowhere. Suho's gotten in the habit of texting it throughout his day. Today, it texted back.

_ Or, in a world missing Kim Hajin, everyone is worse off. Fixing this starts with (a lot of) text messages between a protagonist and his missing piece.

And Man.... where do I begin? I have SO MUCH to say about this fic but I think i'll end up spoiling the whole fic if I start lmao. It's just so good dammit. Just gonna say that this fic takes after the end of the novel, after the conclusion. Only couple few remembers Hajin in the orignl right? Well, in this fic, nobody does. But Suho is probably (???) Going to be the first to remember... I dunno tbh, the fic is only 2 chaps in (and yes, I really adore it already)

I love what the author did with Suhos character and how he is dealing with the aftermath of... everything. Same goes for Hajin, and I love where they seems to be taking this fic. How they characterizes these two main characters and everything.

Listen, I have a LOT to say but i'll just end up giving spoilers so really go read it for yourself. This is another MASTERPIECE of a fic and I am so grateful for its presence in this little TNE fandom TT

Really, thankyou for such amazing fics authors!!

And that's all from me!! Lol I was so excited while writing this XD (could you tell? Lol)

(I edited this post twice because of all the typos I ended up making in excitement LMAO)

[mintytealfox]

Hey.... hoi.... do you have any hurt/comfort headcanons for Norton and Alice?

OOOHH yes yes yes yes yes yes yeeesssss ;; I have MANY and they are LONG when covering BOTH sides so I will keep it to categories and just one at a time lol XD Unless yall want an actual NOVEL PFF

SO FOR THIS ROUND:

ARGUMENTS

Arguments have been on my mind recently for some reason and every relationship (friendships, lovers, familial, etc) has them cause feelings can get hurt regardless of intentions and apologies need to be offered. Some things that would normally fly might suddenly be taken wrongly on a bad day ;; which can cause confusion and hurt on both sides which then turns into an argument, that then turns into something that needs to be fixed properly.

SO

I think Norton would be a little more prone to take things the wrong way at times, while Alice has a more 'benefit of the doubt' mindset. But I have a difficult time picturing Alice saying anything that he would perceive as a jab. So I think it would be more along the lines of Alice extending that 'benefit of the doubt' mindset towards someone that Norton thinks has wronged him, (like calling him something or referring him as something that Norton takes as a slight).

Norton: "I can't believe you are taking his side??" Alice: "I am not taking his side, I am just saying that maybe what was said was taken wrongly...they didn't seem like someone who would say something like that" Norton: "??? So you aren't trusting my judgement in this??" Alice: "Its not like that, at all!" Norton: "?? What is it then?? Is my judgement wrong here too?? Have I just been wrong my entire life then??? Does my judgment not count cause I have been poor most of my life??"

And just blowing it up more than it should. Like, him not overly caring about the slight initially but wanted to bring it up to Alice hoping she would be like "that is nonsense, you aren't like that at all" only to hear, "well, what if that wasn't what they meant?" This surprising him and confusing him to the point that it now hurts for some reason he doesn't fully get why.

But his reaction might stun lock Alice and she won't notice right away that he is hurt and her saying 'that probably isn't what they meant' instead of 'oh don't worry, you aren't like that' and not shutting it down, now accidentally making his mind reel with "Am I actually like that?? She didn't deny it"

And this resulting in him needing some air and this alone time giving them a moment to figure out what the frick just happened and Alice able to analyze it in her head and then hurry over to Norton and put to words what his mind can't yet cause she is quicker with the draw in putting stuff to words.

But getting them in a situation where they are both heard and reassured they are on each other's sides would give them an opportunity to hug and apologize for hurt feelings and lashing out.

The image of them holding each other and Norton is resting his head on top of hers as they talk

Alice: "I am sorry, I didn't realize you were looking for validation.." Norton: "that isn't on you...I didn't know that was what I was looking for and put you in a bad spot....I want to protect you not put you in sour positions..." Alice: "you're allowed to get your feelings hurt, even when its me that is accidently doing it.." Norton: "I'm sorry.."

--------------------------

Now for Alice getting upset with Norton hmmmmmm

Ooooh her getting furious with him for keeping secrets from her about something that is hurting him or along those lines!

Like she had to leave for a month for a story and Norton couldn't go for some reason he made up but it was because he felt like something was wrong with him health wise and didn't want to slow her down.

So she doesn't find out until almost a month later that Norton has been sick for almost that entire time at home and didn't write a word about it in his letters to her. oooooh the pain she would feel ;;

Like she comes home like a half a week early and excited to show Norton only to find him in bed and his breathing sounds awful. This prompting her to drop everything and run to him feeling his fever and grabbing a cloth to wipe the sweat away from his face.

Alice: "how long have you been like this??" Norton: "not long..." Alice: "How long have you been sick????" Norton: "...what day did you leave...?"

Boi once she gets help and knows Norton is on the mend he is gonna get the tongue lashing of a LIFETIME

Just Alice SOBBING as she lays in bed next to him "how DARE you not tell me about this! You NEED to tell me these things so I can make a decision! You made the choice for me by not telling ME! How could you DO THIS to ME?? WHAT IF YOU DIED AND I WAS GONE??"

And Norton realizing he effed up on this one, just listens as she gets all this out. Once she is out of words, he turns on his side to face her and just pulls her into a tight hug and holds her to him

Norton: "I think it is safe to say....that we both agree that I did poorly this time.....I'm sorry.....I should have told you...and let you choose..." Alice: "promise me this won't happen again" -voice muffled cause her face is buried in his chest- Norton: "yea...I promise."