#i am visibly autistic/disabled

[big-boah]

The only thing I have to say about the autism support needs & masking discourse:

There are people who haven't been talked to like a baby by a stranger in real life, and it shows.

[aroaceleovaldez]

what do you think about the charters (Nico, Percy and others) using mobility aids? (Especially after all the wars, fights, and other general injures they've probably got over the years)

I may be biased as someone who uses mobility aids, but I definitely think more demigods should have mobility aids in general. Nico in particular definitely could use it with how often he collapses and with how he generally exhibits some symptoms of low blood pressure at the very least if not POTS or EDS. I'm particularly biased to drawing him with my own crutches, lol (they have knee rests!!!!).

Also I always love seeing Grover with crutches. He was introduced as having a muscular disease - i know that's implied to be just cause he's actually a satyr, but also he's the only satyr to be described as "walking like every step hurt." So give him crutches!!!! He needs them!!!

I dont have any particularly strong opinions for other characters, except maybe usually giving Leo a prosthetic leg so he can thematically match his dad and sometimes crutches alongside that, and my friends and I have talked about Jason using a rollator before, particularly in Jason Lives!AUs. But regardless I always love discussing comorbidity between various other conditions and disabilities with ADHD and dyslexia and a not insignificant number of those comorbidities may require mobility aids. Functionally demigods are kind of more like intensive athletes with magic healthcare, and very few are on the level of like Nico where they've been through the wringer so much that it has lasting effects on them - actually very few in general seem to get a lot of physical damage that doesn't get healed quickly (i think in part cause most campers don't actually go on quests). mostly just psychological damage - so i don't think every demigod would need mobility aids, but like statistically there should probably be more just given the comorbidity stuff to begin with. Everybody who's come back from the dead should probably have more going on with them though imo.

[whinyvents]

It's 2024 and those of us who were actually diagnosed in childhood are still having to remind those who often dominate the online autistic community that diagnosis is not a privilege.

[thevoidshere88]

So....

Today my mother my big sister n her bf were making ableist jokes....

And I called them out for it but got ignored.

Then after a bath confronted my mother about her ableist language and jokes she made.

Of course ableists get defensive when called out.

YOU ARE NOT A ALLY OR SUPPORTER OF SPECIAL NEEDS / DISABLED PEOPLE IF YOU MAKE JOKES ABOUT RUNNING YOUR CHILD OVER IF BORN VISUALLY DISABLED YOU ARE NOT!!!! 🚫👎🏻❌

[a-5-m-0-d-3-u-5]

Please don't read this

[patch-is-disabled]

IDK man I know I just lost (not dead just out of my life) two of my closest friends this week but maybe this right now is what 3 year old, and 5 year old, and 8 year old, and 11 year old, 12 year old, and 13 year old, and 15 year old me was waiting for.

I’m in a dorm room I paid for with a merit scholarship, getting a degree in my favorite subject in the whole world, snuggling my cat under a heated and weighted blanket, reading and listening to music.

My room is clean, I’m on medication that works, I have mobility aids that help, my parents drove to visit me because they believe when I need help and can help me, I have food I feel comfortable eating, my comfort items are here, I’m fucking excited for a Monday, I’m excited to go to class, I have plans with a friend. Knitting club is Wednesday and tomorrow there’s an event at the GSA. I have time for naps, I’m not overwhelmed by homework, I get to go see one of my favorite internet D&D people live soon.

Like idk I still have a highly complex dissociative disorder, I can’t live independently, and some days are so hard but I’m so happy right now. I’m so sorry tiny me went through that and I’m so proud of them. I’m so grateful they got me here.

There’s media I like coming, my dorm room is decorated exactly as I want, my sister and I get along, my grandparents try really hard to use my pronouns, I never could’ve imagined this and I’m so happy. I’m so happy to be here right now and I’m so grateful.

[mythicalcoolkid]

One of my autism benefits is that I don't get social embarrassment from Public Autism Events because I simply cannot notice other people looking at me. I sat on the floor in stores until my 20s (still do actually), I rock in place, my partner will be like "I don't like going out because people there stare at me/us judgmentally because looking goth isn't common there, didn't you see that family giving us dirty looks...?" No. No I didn't. I am focused on my task (waiting in line, shopping, doing laundry) someone could be staring daggers at me and I will not notice. <3

[anaquariusfox]

I spent the evening looking into this AI shit and made a wee informative post of the information I found and thought all artists would be interested and maybe help yall?

edit: forgot to mention Glaze and Nightshade to alter/disrupt AI from taking your work into their machines. You can use these and post and it will apparently mess up the AI and it wont take your content into it's machine!

edit: ArtStation is not AI free! So make sure to read that when signing up if you do! (this post is also on twt)

[Image descriptions: A series of infographics titled: “Opt Out AI: [Social Media] and what I found.” The title image shows a drawing of a person holding up a stack of papers where the first says, ‘Terms of Service’ and the rest have logos for various social media sites and are falling onto the floor. Long transcriptions follow.

Instagram/Meta (I have to assume Facebook).

Hard for all users to locate the “opt out” options. The option has been known to move locations.

You have to click the opt out link to submit a request to opt out of the AI scraping. *You have to submit screenshots of your work/face/content you posted to the app, is curretnly being used in AI. If you do not have this, they will deny you.

Users are saying after being rejected, are being “meta blocked”

People’s requests are being accepted but they still have doubts that their content won’t be taken anyways.

Twitter/X

As of August 2023, Twitter’s ToS update:

“Twitter has the right to use any content that users post on its platform to train its AI models, and that users grant Twitter a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free license to do so.”

There isn’t much to say. They’re doing the same thing Instagram is doing (to my understanding) and we can’t even opt out.

Tumblr

They also take your data and content and sell it to AI models.

But you’re in luck!

It is very simply to opt out (Wow. Thank Gods)

Opt out on Desktop: click on your blog > blog settings > scroll til you see visibility options and it’ll be the last option to toggle

Out out of Mobile: click your blog > scroll then click visibility > toggle opt out option

TikTok

I took time skim their ToS and under “How We Use Your Information” and towards the end of the long list: “To train and improve our technology, such as our machine learning models and algorithms.”

Regarding data collected; they will only not sell your data when “where restricted by applicable law”. That is not many countries. You can refuse/disable some cookies by going into settings > ads > turn off targeted ads.

I couldn’t find much in AI besides “our machine learning models” which I think is the same thing.

What to do?

In this age of the internet, it’s scary! But you have options and can pick which are best for you!

Accepting these platforms collection of not only your artwork, but your face! And not only your faces but the faces of those in your photos. Your friends and family. Some of those family members are children! Some of those faces are minors! I shudder to think what darker purposes those faces could be used for.

Opt out where you can! Be mindful and know the content you are posting is at risk of being loaded to AI if unable to opt out.

Fully delete (not archive) your content/accounts with these platforms. I know it takes up to 90 days for instagram to “delete” your information. And even keep it for “legal” purposes like legal prevention.

Use lesser known social media platforms! Some examples are; Signal, Mastodon, Diaspora, et. As well as art platforms: Artfol, Cara, ArtStation, etc.

The last drawing shows the same person as the title saying, ‘I am, by no means, a ToS autistic! So feel free to share any relatable information to these topics via reply or qrt!

I just wanted to share the information I found while searching for my own answers cause I’m sure people have the same questions as me.’ \End description] (thank you @a-captions-blog!)

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

US food & drug administration (FDA) proposing ban on electric shock devices (like ones used by places like judge rotenberg center [JRC]) for self injurious behaviors or behaviors deemed aggressive.

was banned before, then was overturned. now propose new ban.

can submit formal comment here:

which. if can, please do. show FDA that there public support for ban.

not see if say only US people can comment.

edit to add: open until may 28th 2024

put under cut, some trigger warning about badly summarized info abt these devices & JRC

readmore

these devices different from modern ECT. modern ECT done under general anesthesia. these devices. ECT not without faults but these devices not same as ECT.

while there truly are behaviors in disabilities like autism that genuine cause harm to self or others, 1) using this shock device for those behaviors without consent or try other methods or think about underlying why, still issue, 2) many times used for behaviors that. staff just don’t like. like saying no. or refuse take off coat.

there videos online.

but let just say. GED-4, used by JRC (at very minimum used, past tense. not sure what model use now, but definitely still used. & still being defended on JRC website), shock for 2 seconds, lowest setting, shock at 45mA, highest at 90. don’t know what means? me neither, but to compare, tasers 3-4 mA. n frequently see survivors say they get more than 1 shocks. people shocked by these scream. put it lightly

old stuff wrote by survivor:

often see people only talk abt autism when talk abt JRC & these devices. not just autism. those diagnosed w conduct disorders, psychiatric disorders, autism, intellectual disability, & imagine other developmental disorders too.

though. need lower support needs autistic people & late diagnose autistic people decenter themselves on this. you all not typical target demographic for this. you not most affected here.

because. going be early diagnosed & visibly disabled & higher support needs people most affected.

also. majority people in JRC BIPOC. one old statistic say 50% Black people.

majority of these. are children.

& most these ugly facts & statistics not going be on JRC website. they going make everything pretty & appealing & downplay. & defend use of shock device on website

had to look through JRC website for this. just for my sacrifice please go fill out comment for FDA. link again: https://www.federalregister.gov/documents/2024/03/26/2024-06037/banned-devices-proposal-to-ban-electrical-stimulation-devices-for-self-injurious-or-aggressive

[hillbillyoracle]

For those with home related New Years Resolutions:

I’ve been a disabled homemaker for 5 years now so I wanted to share the resources that have helped me take our home from complete chaos to reasonably functional and enjoyable.

If you’re not functioning...

If you’re constantly tripping over things and getting injured, eating food that makes you sick, dealing with pests in the home, and struggling to complete basic tasks like feeding, clothing, and bathing yourself, then you should start with...

KC Davis aka StruggleCare aka DomesticBlisters

TikTok

Book

Podcast

Website

I recommend KC Davis’s stuff with a big heaping dose of “keep what works and leave what doesn’t.” She’s one of the few people I’ve seen talking about compassionate care focused on maintaining a level of personal functioning rather than maintaining a home. Her stuff has been very helpful to me during some very challenging times. 

I think her some of her best work is probably her videos on the 5 step tidying process, the ones on setting up bedside hygiene and food kits, and the ones on dealing with DOOM (Didn’t Organize Only Moved) boxes. 

That being said she has a tendency to use neurotype as a shield for not reckoning with other dynamics in a situation (gendered, narcissism, etc) when asked for advice by viewers which can lead to this “all people with neurodivergence are good” vibe which I find off putting (especially as an autistic person). I mention it because her bleh stuff was all I was coming across and I missed out on her good stuff for a while. It’s worth picking through though. 

Her book is a little better on the whole. 

If you’re functioning but still very overwhelmed...

If you can complete your daily activities of living pretty regularly but you’re still losing papers you need, rebuying items you didn’t realize you had, or looking around your home at a mess that feels impossible to clean, then check out...

Dana K White aka A Slob Comes Clean

YouTube

Website

Podcast

Books

I love Dana K. White’s stuff. Honestly, I recommend her to every level on this list but I think she probably shines brightest in this category. 

Her 5 step decluttering process is pure fucking gold. It’s a decluttering process that doesn’t rely on feelings at all - really helpful for those with trauma or alexthymia generally. She has multiple videos explaining it and even more where you can watch her go step by step with someone over the course of an hour and make a huge dent in some very overwhelming mess. Its the process I’ve used to go through over 50 moving boxes to declutter so we could fit in this much smaller space we moved to in April. 

Her day to day cleaning advice is also excellent. Her concept of dishes math has really helped me make decisions about what chores to focus on when I’m low energy. Her 14 Days to Opening Your Front Door series is amazing if you’re having to host for a given occasion but your home is a wreck. 

If you’re not painfully overwhelmed by your stuff but there’s still a lot of friction in your home...

If your stuff doesn’t overwhelm you but your home still doesn’t feel that good to be in, you’re still not finding things when you need to or it’s taking you a long time to find them, you create homes for things but they look terrible or they never seem to stick, then you’d love...

Cassandra Aarssen aka Clutterbug

YouTube

Books

Website

Podcast

Clutterbug types were kind of a game changer for me. It’s what really opened my eyes to why the systems that worked for me did not work for my partner. She is a Bee - lots of small categories that are all very visible - and I am a ladybug - big bucket categories that aren’t visible. When I reorganized our space according to the compromise between our types, Butterfly - big categories and very visible - all of a sudden the systems just worked so much better. There were many fewer fights sparked by things not getting put away or not being able to find things. So I really recommend her videos on the different types and examples of each. 

Quick word of warning, she does have regular videos about diet and exercise that I personally find pretty triggering to my disordered eating habits so I’m not subscribed to her and just check her channels every now and then so it’s easier to skip over videos where that might be a topic she talks about. 

Cliff Tan aka Dear Modern

TikTok

YouTube

Website

Book

Cliff Tan’s work is the most recent of these resources that I’ve come across but holy shit I cannot recommend it enough. 

Because my parents didn’t originally intend on my partner using the room she wound up using, there’s simply not space to keep some of the furniture and items in there anywhere else. Meaning she just kind of has to keep a fair bit of junk in there. But after watching (read: binging) the Dear Modern YouTube channel and seeing him completely change spaces by moving furniture around, I redid my partners room over the course of about 2 hours and it’s a completely different room. Way more comfortable and she’s already mentioned she’s getting much better sleep. 

So I really really recommend his stuff. Sometimes what you really need isn’t new stuff but just rearranging what you already have. 

If you’re pretty content with your home but want to streamline the process of caring for it...

If your home is pretty functional but regular tidying, deep cleaning, and maintenance tasks specifically keep falling through the cracks, then you might like...

FlyLady System

Website

The Secret Slob - YouTube

Diane in Denmark - YouTube

There are lots of systems out there for house keeping but I’ve yet to try or see one that seems to do better than FlyLady for me. Since with my illness my energy varies wildly, I don’t necessarily do things when her system recommends but I do them according to the priority her system ascribes to them as I’m able. 

FlyLady is a notoriously convoluted website so I really recommend learning from a secondhand source. The Secret Slob and Diane in Denmark are my favorites. 

Maintenance Lists

This Old House

There a lots of maintenance lists out there and honestly finding one and doing what you can is better than nothing. I personally like the ones from This Old House because they’re broken up into annual, seasonal, monthly, and some weekly tasks - which are essentially priority categories, similar to FlyLady. I’ve linked the winter one here but there are many others to pick through depending on what you want to work on. 

Bonus: Paper Clutter

My System

Link

This is what I’ve arrived at after years of experimentation. It’s an amalgam of a few different ideas from different systems in one place. I keep mind on my fridge but put yours where ever you’re dumping paper anyways. If you’re in a room or live in a car/backpack - I have ideas on how to organize it for those in this post too. 

Sunday Basket

YouTube Video

The Minimal Mom’s Video

She’s in Her Apron Video

Need something a little more robust? The Sunday Basket is probably be best version of a paper (and other stuff) system I’ve seen. Got something that needs dealt with? Chuck it in the Sunday Basket. The creator also has videos on long term paper storage ideas if that’s something you need as well. But her videos usually run an hour long so I recommend starting with either the Minimal Mom’s video or She’s in Her Apron’s video. 

Bonus: Digital Clutter

PARA System/Building a Second Brain by Tiago Forte

YouTube Channel

Website

Book

Essential Video

The branding on this system can be very productivity tech wonk which is off putting to me but when I finally started hearing what was at the core of it and applying it - my digital life was changed. I’ve linked my absolute favorite video he’s done here. Ignore the bit about it being the last in the series, most of us are already using some note app and if you like it you can always go back and watch the rest. But just applying what’s in that video to your digital systems will make things easier to find. 

Hope this helps someone out there! 

[the-delta-quadrant]

if the only reason you're considering medical diagnosis or legal recognition of your disability is to feel less like a fraud, don't do it.

it's not worth the effort nor does it actually work.

i got my autism diagnosis so i could get PIP. i got registered sight impaired so i could get PIP as well as some other accommodations. i got my ADHD diagnosis because i wanted to try meds.

i got my PIP and the benefits. i found out i can't go on ADHD meds.

for a few months, a side effect of getting diagnosed/registered was feeling validated and more confident in these disabilities.

that did not last.

every now and then i still wonder if i'm making my autism sound worse than it is, if it's really autism at all, if i just accidentally lied to the assessor because i wanted to be autistic. same with my ADHD.

with my vision, my eye conditions are an undeniable, visible fact. and yet i still feel like i'm making myself out to be more disabled than i am. i still think "i can read normal print, large print is just more comfortable, so i'm not really that disabled". i still think "i actually can see lots of things around me, so i can't really be that disabled".

i still feel like a fraud for using large text, magnification, a symbol cane, stim toys, a sunflower lanyard, not reading physical books etc.

i still feel like a fraud despite having 30 pages of diagnostic paperwork and certificate of visual impairment in my drawer. especially with my vision because no other vision impaired person's vision seems to be like mine at all. i am alone.

so yeah, if the only reason you want to get diagnosed is for confidence in your disability, it's not worth it. the doubts will come back anyway.

[actual-changeling]

I hope it turns out that Maggie is "just" a human. I hope it turns out that there is absolutely nothing supernatural or occult or celestial or whatnot about her, fuck, I hope it turns out it's NINA instead.

Fuck, I'm trying very hard not to be frustrated and upset, but I am. I am because it's been over a month and people are still taking Maggie's clearly neurodivergent, and more specifically autistic, behaviour and twist it into "oh look no normal human is like this she's so creepy she must be a demon or an angel" like are you LISTENING to yourselves?

YES she talks differently sometimes, yes she's emotional, yes she did ONE FUCKING SPELLING MISTAKE while she was literally sobbing her eyes out. People are like that, you know. People that don't drink and that didn't go to parties and don't socialize well exist. I'm that person.

I had absolutely ZERO thoughts about Maggie being a celestial because to me, she isn't weird. There is nothing off about her. She's like me, I felt SEEN, I felt recognized and acknowledged.

The worst part is that people LOVE headcanoning Muriel or Aziraphale or Crowley as autistic but as soon as it's not something people can either infantilize or twist into something else, they hate it. Muriel gets praised for the same traits that have people calling Maggie a villain.

Can we stop doing that? Can we stop taking people who are weird or visibly disabled or different and shoving them into the non-human box? Do you have any idea how dehumanizing that is for people who are like those characters?

We had canonically non-binary characters this season that are human, so why, and please fucking tell me WHY, is it impossible in your minds to have disabled humans around? Why does anyone slightly weird have to be a supernatural being?

Just because Maggie's behaviour isn't played off as a joke? Because she is allowed to be a middle-aged, lesbian autistic woman? Because you cannot infantilize her like you can with Muriel?

Please tell me because I don't fucking know.

[sunstonez]

FUNDRAISING BILLS AND GROCERIES

Hello my name is Valentine. I am a physically disabled, visibly autistic nonbinary lesbian. I really need help with paying my bills this month.

I have spent the last two years going through Canadian provincial courts to put my pedophile biological father in jail. I have succeeded and his sentencing date is set for mid June, but this has come with a huge financial cost to me. I had to go on long term disability leave due to the stress. I had to pay for travel between provinces over several years. I have been living off of 60% of my income while I am on leave from work, supporting not only myself but my spouse as well, a disabled trans woman. I have maxed out our credit card, and have several thousand dollars owed in a consumer proposal.

I was supposed to return to work in May (which would have added to our monthly income), but my employer literally forgot I was disabled, and did not properly prepare for me to return to work, delaying my return until July.

Right now are behind on our phone bill, power bill, and internet bill. The consumer proposal payment is coming up on the 16th. Not to mention the cost of groceries, laundry money, bus tickets, medication, etc.

My goal is to raise $650.00 CAD.

Pictured below are the outstanding bills. $97.29 for the phone bill, $216.11 for our power, and $201. 59 for the internet.

The remaining amount of 135.00 would go towards groceries, laundry money, bus fair, etc.

If you have questions please feel free to DM me or comment here. I can provide receipts and other documentation as proof.

Updates will be provided in the replies of this post.

P*yp*l: p*ypal.me/hepelva

E-tr*nsfer (if you're Canadian): salsamanders@gmail.com

Thanks so much for reading. If you can't help that's okay! Reblogs are beyond appreciated ����💕

[pixierainbows]

Hello Pixie

Sorry if this is too personal, if uncomfortable with my question just ignore or delete it 😊

I have level 2 autism and am trans

In one of your posts, you said you are trans too! It made me so so happy to see another trans autistic person with higher support needs

I rarely see level 2 or 3 autistic people who are trans!! I'm so happy to know I'm not alone.

BTW, Sunshine is a very cute dog, I love the pictures you post

Many many many people think Pixie very too disabled to understand gender . Them not really wrong . is complicated ...

birth family said pixie just bad bad bad kid . so pixie had no idea what trans was . did not know about anything like that even exist . until came to seattle .

pixie Okay now , mostly . Still have bad days . doctors not can fix everything . and . Even in Seattle not everybody is kind understanding , especially pixie so visible disabled . But . Pixie happy be alive almost always now . guardians and choice family love trans-pixie very much .

is not all fixed ! but , is much better now . is good enough .

[gab-has-adhd]

HELLO, I AM CURRENTLY IN A GREAT NEED OF HELP ⚠️⚠️⚠️

PLEASE STOP SCROLLING FOR A MINUTE AND READ THIS POST 🙏🏼

Thank you.

My name is Gabriel, I'm a 28 years old disabled agender person. I have ADHD, BPD, generalized anxiety, chronic depression and untreated PTSD. I am an artist, and I have no other job besides this one, for now.

This is my girlfriend, Olivia. She is 30, agender just like me, disabled just like me. She has BPD as well as untreated PTSD, and she is autistic.

For the last three years, we were surviving thanks to a monthly allowance she was given due to her being disabled and unable to find or keep a job. This allowance has been stopped due to her being judged "not disabled enough" and "capable of finding a job". She isn't. I don't want to give too many details about our life, but she is currently deeply incapacitated and cannot work. She has asked to get her autism diagnosed on a psychiatric level, which is necessary for her to be given the proper care for her issues.

We will now be given an allowance for job seekers. But we have learned today that this allowance, for the next two months, will be much less than it usually is because of complicated details I do not have the right mind to explain right now.

We will be given around 700€ for a month. 1400€ total, for the months of March and April. You can imagine how 1400€ for two months is a ridiculously low amount of money for two people.

I will try to find a tiny job that is compatible with my own struggles. In the meantime, getting help from other sources will really, really come in handy.

I AM AN ARTIST. I DRAW DIGITAL ILLUSTRATIONS, AND I AM OPEN FOR COMMISSIONS. ALTHOUGH I AM STILL STRUGGLING TO GET OUT OF A HIATUS, I WOULD BE VERY HAPPY TO GET MORE COMMISSIONS. HERE ARE A FEW EXAMPLES OF WHAT I CAN DRAW.

AND HERE IS MY PRICE CHART:

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN COMMISSIONNING ME, YOU CAN CONTACT ME ON THIS TUMBLR ACCOUNT OR ON @lubelzoldyck-artworks , YOU CAN ALSO SEND ME A MAIL AT shynesslubel.art@outlook.com 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

IF YOU ARE UNINTERESTED IN COMMISSIONNING ME, PLEASE CONSIDER D0NAT1NG, EVEN A SINGLE BUCK CAN HELP. YOU CAN D0NAT3 ON THIS LINK:

IF YOU CANNOT COMMISSION NOR D0N4T3 (AND I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY) PLEASE, PLEASE AT LEAST SHARE THIS POST AROUND. REBLOG IT, SHARE IT ON OTHER WEBSITES, GIVE IT VISIBILITY, I AM PRACTICALLY BEGGING HERE. PLEASE HELP US.

[ineffectualdemon]

The levels you get judged as autistic are weird

Because they are based on how well you communicate with neurotypicals (as I understand it, please correct me if I'm wrong) and don't actually cover the autistic persons level of need

Like I got level 1 because I am fairly articulate on a good day and as my husband puts it "you can seem human for roughly the first 15 minutes" (note he is allowed to say this, i find this humor funny and he's also on the spectrum)

I am educated, fairly well spoken, and can fake social niceties if I don't talk or if it's over text. This does not make me better able to take care of myself nor does it make me better than any autistic person who cant do that. I can talk good sometimes. Its just a fact not a judgement on my worth or anyone else's

But it sure is treated that way

I am not able to live independently. I can't handle if I'm asked to change the side of the road from my usual routine much less anything more disruptive. I can't manage my own finances. I have loud meltdowns in public. I visibly stim. Once my timer of being able to human breaks I will invariably say something wildly inappropriate and not understand why it's inappropriate. I can't arrange things for myself because I get flustered and confused. I need support on a daily basis

I cannot take care of myself even if you remove my chronic pain and fatigue.

Sure I could run an errand or go some place by myself before when I was still mobile but there was an over 50% chance of me having a meltdown on the way or once I'm there and needing help

And sure in the past I could go to new places alone ..if my husband took me the day before and walked the route with me and helped me write down very specific instructions and directions and be on the other end of the phone when i break down

Sure was once able to go to new places and events and then immediately get overwhelmed and lose my words and have a meltdown or dissociate in order to cope

And the after affects would mean I'm stressed out and physically ill for days after

Like I'm not saying I need anything like the support of high support needs autistic people

I am able to communicate my thoughts accurately through text most of the time

(not so much out loud. There I vary wildly between considered articulate and screaming with anger because I can't get the words! I know they are there but I can't access them and it makes me angry and no one else understands what's going on or why I'm suddenly angry)

I am aware that is a massive privilege and skill in my possession that allows me to advocate myself in way that is impossible for non verbal members of the communicate

You can advocate for yourself

But not same as me

And that's in my favour and I am sorry

So I try to advocate for you when I can

To have your back

Being non verbal, having intellectual disabilities, any number of factors could mean someone needs more support than me

And I am not saying we are exactly the same

But the fact that I am highly dependent on my husband to survive is just written off as not important because "I speak well"

And that's just a really weird way to weigh it in my opinion

Like yeah I don't seem to them like I should need to be dependent on others to survive but I fucking well am

Idk

The system just seems fucked to me