#i am very very tired now
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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in honor of last season’s poem being called “”end poem”” (all quotes mandatory) this season i made one out of pieces of the actual end poem
#letting me just download the minecraft font? for free? a mistake#if you or a loved one have been suffering from RED TEXT you may be entitled to compensation#my art#my poetry#secret life#goodtimeswithscar#grian#secret life spoilers#sorry tumblr user livvi3love for not making one with all the deaths again#if you (or anyone) did want to illustrate this one as well you’re more than welcome to but i am not expecting anything#i can do an explainer thing again like i did last time but that is for tomorrow#right now i am just. very tired#but for now i will confirm yes the colors Matter#i literally made this on accident against my will#i was trying to DRAW
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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Happy mermaaayyy I was able to make it just in time :]]
thank u @vivid-bun for brainstorming abt these guys with me!!!
#obey me#obey me mermay#obey me mermaid au#mermay#obey me! shall we date?#obm#obey me fanart#obm!swd#obey me mammon#obey me lucifer#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#first time drawing everyone except 1+2…. this made me wanna do actual character references for em#+ need more diverse bodies!! they all kinda the same :/// now that I have a general idea of how I want everyone to look like I can go from#there#all based off their demon forms#very classy rock hiding Belphie’s hand…. I am so tired of drawing hands. ty Levi belphie and asmo for not needing hands drawn#ty csp users that uploaded mermaid poses I could reference 🙏🙏🙏🙏#anyway……🐟🍽️.#devilishdelights
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went to a mall to buy a computer mouse and literally every drop of energy in my body left me
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breaking the sign in two by how hard im tapping it
#im putting the word queerbait in a very tall box on a very tall shelf and none of you get it back until you actually learn the definition#sjonnies edits#queerbait#queer media#queer#queer issues#there are real queerbaits! a lot of them! but i am SO sick and tired of everything that's not explicitly stated be called queerbait#or when the focus in an action movie is not the full romance#would the hero and the girl have kissed in a straight action movie? sure. but even now more often than not that doesn't happen or the focus#is different entirely#the world doesn't change overnight. but you know what helps changing it? watching the media that's implying it! NORMALISING THAT MEDIA!#showing the studios that it isn't popularity suicide. encouraging actors to diversify and give them the respect they need without turning#every conversation an actor playing a queer character into what their sexuality is!#venom#deadpool and wolverine#loki#911#<- which. btw. fucking INSANE thing to say#also queer characters CANNOT be used for queerbait#QUEER CHARACTERS CANNOT BE USED FOR QUEERBAIT#they can be buried! but they CANNOT be used for queerbait because they. are. queer.
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for a second, you did the bad thing and bargained about it.
if it meant that you would never be numb like this again, what would you give up?
maybe it's the childhood stuff or the religious trauma or how your dad doesn't believe in medication, but this is how you are, right. you need to have a counterbalance. suffering has to have its own reward. there needs to be a point to it. and if you're happy - if you could just be happy, and the world could actually fill in enough space that the edges of your spirit actually meet the horizon of your body - you would need to pay for it.
your passions? that one seems fair, but how could you actually be happy without them. well, you'd never be numb again, so maybe you'd be able to find joy in the small things like you used to. gleeful, you'd make coffee and breakfast into an artform. you'd find a way to make it make sense, somehow. you'd move on. it'd be different, but it would be doable.
your lover? your friends? this would be hard. you owe so much to your community. still, you could maybe make yourself a small home in the woods. you could live a quiet life, one devoid of friendship - but also without this horrible grey mist. a life like bigfoot, then. you'd figure out how to make the most of it.
your hair. your teeth. all of it.
sometimes you are jealous of mental illness as it appears in media: a big stroke of a meltdown, a firestorm that resolves prettily in therapy. it is flashing lights and thin teenagers. you've absolutely had breakdowns that stole the show - but life after resolved into a pixel art of things you managed to piece together afterwards, not a tapestry of a heart made suddenly-beautiful. that people could pick up blades as if they weigh nothing, that the way it all appears is as a cry for help, not a slow backsliding.
you have to stop the thought: i'd give up everything.
but also - be real. you'd never give up your dog. nor your best friend. nor the way you feel walking while through deep fog. you'd never give up the last bonfire of summer, the reckless laughter of halloween. so you do still love things.
maybe that's the problem: you know it should be easier. you have everything you could possibly want. so how come you are still trapped? still yearning?
#writeblr#warm up#dlkfjsldkjf#ive been dealin w/some pretty bad [ mental illness ] for about a year now. like the kind i got at 19#and ..................... i have everything i want.#i wish it was easier for both of us#it is easier in a lot of ways. i am glad i stayed. but ya lol i am so tired in the Very Bad No Good way
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Uhm, possible spoilers i think for Marble Sky [made by @somerandomdudelmao in which you should go and check out if you haven’t read rn cause they be very cool very cool and very cool]
but—OMG I LOVE THIS BIRB AUUUHGHGHHGUGHUHURHUEHGI—
IN WHICH THEY ARE PERFECTLY FINE AND WE SEE SO SO MUCH OF THEM NYYYGUUH—
Guys guys guys — please trust meee she is A-OK and she is gonna be a teacher to Oscar as they make a pacifist alien befriending club
I am not in denial i have no clue what you’re talking about—
I ain’t got a clue what these so called ‘jars’ even look like yet but i sketched a thing out immediately and then at that point my intrigueness started to fade, and then the ref came out and for some reason that boosted my interest even further. But i know what a bird’s brain looks like now so thats something.
I just think she seems very cool
I may have also did some other doodles a week or 2 ago that i didn’t post cause the social of anxiety was kickin in high those days but I’ll put them under the cut if thou wishes to see
That is all ok buh byyeeee go see marble skiessssss
#I saw this woman for less than a second and now i am dreading everything in my life#OUUGHHH she was only there for like 1 single scene AUUUGH#I SHAKE YOU GIVE HER BACK GIVE HER BAC-#ok imma head out now because in case you couldn’t tell my brain needs sleep due to the fact it is past midnight rn#haha little do you know the reason i posted this at midnight was because I STILL got that anxiety in me—#AH HA HA haaaaa..#…#anywho#enjoy#have a very good day#am tired#oufff#have a good day#my drawings#marble sky#weeeeeeee ok bye
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yknow im starting to think that one (1!) two-hours-long-makeout-session would fix me and my problems
#this post was written at 3am. please ignore <3#i am. actually on a serious note. very yearny right now#but im so so tired. honk shoo mimimii#okay anyways here are the actual tags >#fangedfagyearning#mlm#gay#mlm yearning#t4t mlm#nblm#gay yearning#mlm thoughts#mlnb#ftm mlm#gay mlm#t4t#t4t yearning
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happy february to them and absolutely nobody else
#fairy tail#fairy tail fraxus#fraxus#fairy tail laxus#fairy tail freed#laxus dreyar#freed justine#fairy tail fanart#i am SO embarrassed to post this#freya if youre reading this look away#only sketches bc im super burnt out#i WANTED to add mira to this but only remembered halfway through#this was also meant to be for valentines day but took me longer than expected#can you tell when i got tired lmao#also that sleeping one.. i just KNOW freed's hair gets everywhere#realistically he probably has to plait it otherwise he wakes up w a rats nest#<- from someone who used to have very long hair#i love my cringe gay fanart#raijin tribe art may be coming bc the tism is getting to me#uuughhh im so embarrassed gonna go kms now
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PEW PEW POW
#crimestompers#sax#ruthie#dev#sam and max oc#sam and max#🎨#hi guys . i forgot to make devs car beat up because i am not good at cars ( yet ) . sorry#we can pretend its before it got fucked to hell and back . okay ?#realizing now i forgot a ton of shit on the car . i am very tired
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big man...why is he so big...(hes full of love)
#mine#original#oug im tired!!! sleepy!!#what hve i done this week... i processes like 30 orders bc i had such a backlog OGUG. did 2 drawings for my portfolio. did this drawing#also did sm good planning! and sketching!#i was gna colour my portfolio drawings but im. pretty worn out so now maybe i will not#my lower back has been rlly sore also so . im gna try n avoid sitting at my desk heeh#its like half 12 whilst im queueing this....gna hve sm lunch soon. adn then read maybe. i finished my book this morn it was ver good#foxen bloom by. someone. cannae remember !!! very good nice an short#its a nice day..might go 4 walk#ive started on the sleeves for my jumper uehue !!!! am def gna run out of wool so annoying....will b short like. half a ball.#im gettin close 2 finishing my blanket....kinda...i ordered too much wool for that kjbsdkjbs#yes yes reading. i should do yoga maybe. world of pain#okay goodbye
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It’s officially the 14th for me which means it’s the day of the birth! I am now the ripe old age of 29
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For the 20th anniversary of The Minish Cap, I drew my MC Link interacting with some other MC Links from other Links Meet AUs(basically)! I was not ready for this anniversary so I was rushing. Anyhoo, under the cut are the Links featured:
Mirrored Links - Mini - My Link! I uh have to rewrite the ML story lol so uh don’t read it. He’s grumpy 24/7, 4 feet tall at 19 years old, and would definitely hate being with other versions of himself lol.
Limited Hero - Minish By @limited-hero - We got nothing on this guy except for like 2 drawings, and I can tell he’s brimming with energy and joy. Very energetic, the type of person Mini hates to be around :D
There isn’t a name for this uh this is Felix Lineup of Links(👍👍👍) - Sprout By @clowns0up-felix - Adorable. Love them. Very pinchable cheeks. I was originally going to draw Sprout kicking Mini in the shins(cause he deserves it lol), but I did not have the time for that.
Links Converge - Cori By @linksconverge - Head patssss. I love him he’s so cute! All of the MC Links are cute tho…but I like him :) He gets head pats :)) because I didn’t know what else to do with him :)))
#links meet au#limited hero#lh minish#mirrored links#mirrored mini#sprout#mc link#linksconverge#lc cori#art fever#anniversary art fever#can. can you guys tell I’m very tired while writing this. cause I am lol#now imma hit post and hope i don’t hate these later 🫣
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told community id post this here later (its been about 10 hours)
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#animation vs minecraft#avm#ava tco#ava the chosen one#ava tdl#ava the dark lord#freedom guy is also mentioned#okay gonna add this now this thought in particular is very funny to me#i would say something about parallels but i am too tired from school to explain or put that thought into actual words#maybe thats why i made it into a comic#oh well hope you enjoyed this short thing :>#lilacsart
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"I'm the dog they put with cheetahs to keep them from going crazy in captivity" x "I'm the cheetah that is threatening to go crazy" 4 ever
(I make a webcomic about them)
#GODDDDDDDDDDD I love them#theyre so.....#I just.#good. theyre good#I need the comic to come back NOW...#no I dont. I havent finished enough yet#I've finished 7 episodes so I gotta make 3 more minimum but 8 more ideally. which is. a big gap..#anyways I got up early to draw this cause I couldnt sleep#and someone shared it in a server I'm in and I was like. oh I have to#but now I'm super tired and I can sleep#so good night. enjoy my beautuful art of my beautiful vampires#'good ngiht' it is 10 30 am.#sleep. she betrays me yet again.#anyways working on coming back working on kickstarter stuff working on book 4#working on commissions working on my patreon...#work work work work#trying to be forgiving of myself LOL working like 50-70 hours a week and still feeling like its not enough#imagine if I WASNT on meds rn. I'm focusing better and there's still just way too much sheesh#super need some support but also I'm chillin#I was assigned an editor and she has not given me a single note#so I'm like uhhh. rlly feeling aimless and lonely#I'm doing very good work its some of my best stuff#but...#yeah. idk. just a lot HAHAHA#but I got like 45 mins to do a quick drawing#for my mental health...#time and time again#adam and steve#ttawebcomic#adam
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