#i am very tired so excuse my stupid posts

[helianthus21]

crack idea for getting armand and daniel back together is daniel accidently-on-purpose leaking his thoughts about how he wants armand to perform unethical experiments on him again to any vampire in close vicinity until one of them snaps and tells armand to take his fucking fledgling back

[eastofedean]

8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)

[astonmartinii]

how'd he pull that off then? | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem alternative! reader

google: how to charm max verstappen's crazy bff while being a loveable loser?

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

maxverstappen1

liked by liamlawson30, landonorris and 1,340,209 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: if only you could see just how rare she had her steak, damn vampire

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user1: category is random pairings

user2: i need the detailed play by play of how these two ended up friends

user3: i just know it’s gonna be something stupid

yourusername: being twitter mutuals is NOT stupid

user4: what did yall have in common though

yourusername: just because i’m a bit alternative i can’t be on f1twt, baby how do you explain valentino rossi?

user5: so who is taking one for the team and wifing her so we can get alt f1 for races other than zandvoort

landonorris: MEEEEEEE

landonorris: who said that?

landonorris: that’s crazy my cat took my phone and posted that comment

maxverstappen1: cats don’t have thumbs

landonorris: mine is super smart

maxverstappen1: you don’t have a cat

landonorris: one of yours broke in?

yourusername: you can say you like me lando i’m not gonna bite

oscarpiastri: don’t threaten him with a good time

user6: i’m sorry private school ass somerset quater zip fuckboy is gonna pull thee Y/N Y/LN

user7: i’ll believe it when i see it

yourusername: max i swear to god you gotta post the pic with the eyeliner

yourusername: we need the cool girls to like you

yourusername: there’s no cool girl representation in formula one anymore - come back kimi raikkonen the kids miss you (oscar you are cool though)

landonorris: actually there’s a new rule that if you compliment one of the papaya boys you have to compliment the other…. please

yourusername: you look like you’d fit in my pocket

yourusername: keep your car away from max this season and there’s more where that came from

landonorris: thank you!

alexalbon: good lord

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 198,450 others

yourusername: first ever nepotism friend

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user8: lando norris gonna make an all black quadrant collection as an excuse to get y/n in his clothes

landonorris: the problem is i want her out of my clothes, well out of all clothes really

user9: perv

landonorris: nuh uh

user10: no like literally ur so creepy

landonorris: @user10 i literally saw you in my comments saying that you’d bounce on it crazy style until i’ve literally reshaped your large intestine

user10: will you?

yourusername: he won’t

user11: are they flirting by proxy?

user12: shut up i wanna see how far they can take it

user13: @maxverstappen1 in your professional opinion, does lando have a chance

maxverstappen1: everyone has a chance with y/n, she has horrible standards. why do you think she’s friends with me?

yourusername: max?

maxverstappen1: oh yeah :( i’m sorry for talking down on myself. i am worthy and i deserve love

yourusername: good!

user14: poor girl is gentle parenting everyone in her life LMAO

francocolapinto: woweee

landonorris: am i a joke to you?

francocolapinto: not a joke, but not competition

yourusername: oh those are fighting words

francocolapinto: i gotta believe my hype

yourusername: delusion is not pretty

yourusername: @landonorris you’re pretty

landonorris: hehehehehehe

user15: my spidey senses are tingling… she is being way too nice to him

user16: i know she looks scary but by all accounts she very nice

user17: i’m not convinced there’s nothing there

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, georgerussell63 and 1,678,378 others

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landonorris: i am sick and tired of you people not believing that y/n would be with me

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user18: sorry buddy but look at her

user19: she looks like she makes him cry often

user20: he seems like he’s into that

landonorris: kinkshaming me, on my own post?

user21: bro just told on himself

yourusername: so what happened to the dramatic post-win parc ferme kiss?

landonorris: THEY WERE DOUBTING ME

yourusername: but i never doubted you

yourusername: so who cares?

landonorris: …. me

yourusername: well you’re my pretty boy and no one else’s so fuck them

landonorris: yes ma’am

maxverstappen1: keep that to yourselves please

yourusername: sorry maxy

maxverstappen1: he’s lucky i even let him ask you out

landonorris: she is her own person?

maxverstappen1: it wasn't in her best interests but i was feeling nice

maxverstappen1: DON’T make me regret it

oscarpiastri: oh thank god

oscarpiastri: i thought he was writing sonnets about you while single and was seriously close to getting him institutionalised

yourusername: eh i like em a lil whacky

oscarpiastri: a LITTLE?

landonorris: i don’t like your tone

oscarpiastri: spare me i’ve listened to you talk about that girl at LENGTH

user22: free my guy oscar

user23: free all of mclaren by the sounds of it

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 237,589 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: he’d make the perfect art donaldson, but no challengers because i don’t share

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user24: PLEASE GIVE ME ONE CHANCE

user25: boys hate lando because he’s got a fast car, men hate lando because he won the lottery with his girlfriend

user26: bad bitches do both

landonorris: who is art?

yourusername: we literally watched the film last night?

landonorris: oh? tennis?

landonorris: idk i kinda lost interest when the boys stopped kissing?

yourusername: what the fuck is in the paddock water? yall are all a lil fruity

landonorris: i thought you liked that about me?

yourusername: oh i love that about you

yourusername: but this is the second time i have had an f1 driver say they lost interest in challengers when it stopped being overtly gay ?

user27: y/n just out here snitching on the grid

user28: f1 challengers when?

user29: grill the grid but galex recreate the art/patrick scene?

alexalbon: first of all, flattered. second of all, why is and not lestappen?

georgerussell63: why on earth are you entertaining this?

alexalbon: don’t be boring george

user29: lestappen don’t need to be told to make out duh

charles_leclerc: excuse me?

maxverstappen1: i wanna ask questions but i fear it might provoke them more

landonorris: this is meant to be a post about how my girlfriend loves me, why are we talking about you people

alexalbon: you finally got the girl to like you and now you feel untouchable… watch your back

yourusername: ONLY ONE PERSON GETS TO WATCH THAT BACK SIR AND THAT’S ME

landonorris: exactly!

user30: you know what? i think i prefer the insanity on twitter to whatever this is

user31: ao3 is more realistic than whatever is going on here

oscarpiastri

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 893,209 others

tagged: landonorris & yourusername

oscarpiastri: very happy for you guys, never stay in the room next me to ever again.

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user32: I’LL STAY

user33: bro they gotta neuter everyone under every post of y/n yall are rabid

user34: i know i can treat her better than him

user35: he cannot handle all that

oscarpiastri: unfortunately, the noises would suggest he can

landonorris: omg you’re such a looker? listener?

landonorris: @yourusername what is the word?

yourusername: voyeuristic?

landonorris: yeah @oscarpiastri you’re that

oscarpiastri: not by choice last night, and i did not get off to it i just deafened myself via asmr to try and fall asleep during the … ruckus

user36: petition to remove lando from that relationship and replace him with ME

user37: put me in coach

maxverstappen1: welcome to my world, osc. you get used to it (i’ll send you my headphone recommendations)

yourusername: it is not that bad

maxverstappen1: it took me six months to find the headphones that would drown you out

oscarpiastri: hold up

oscarpiastri: SIX MONTHS

yourusername: we’ve been together for nearly a year genius

oscarpiastri: WHAT

landonorris: like we said … we wanted a parc ferme kiss reveal but SOMEONE kept missing the few races i managed to win

yourusername: i was at zandvoort, but unfortunately my loyalties on that day were with max

landonorris: i don’t understand why i was made to apologise to YOU about simply lovely

yourusername: you enjoyed it though?

maxverstappen1: do not include me in this

yourusername: i was defending your honour?

maxverstappen1: and stripping lando of his

landonorris: maybe?!

user38: i know way too much about these people

user39: crazy… they should keep going though

landonorris: for a man also in love, you’re sounding bitter osc

oscarpiastri: i am in love, but i am also traumatised

yourusername: drama queen

yourusername: love you too lando

landonorris: <33333

fin.

note: thought i'd bang one out before i tackle a certain final part of a certain series *cough cough* guilty as sin? heheheehe ... enjoy this while you wait! also lando is a villain in other side of the moon, so had to give him some love in between x

[moonshynecybin]

#thinkin about teen dad marc…. like diplopia year…. <- say more callie

eye got. SIX asks about this lmao. but anything for you elle ofc. required reading on this is @yekoc’s vale knocks marc up in like 2013/14 post found here go read it (AND THE REPLIES !!! ). foundational text.

but in this one. vale is jerry springer voice NOT THE FATHERRRR. which i think would make his specific commitment issues significantly weirder and more complex. and marc MUCH more neurotic lmao. he has a baby to look after !!! AND he’s doing death defying stunts !!!

so marc either gets a girl pregnant and keeps the baby or gets knocked up and keeps the baby. choose your own adventure. he’s a teen. diplopia year cwaziness. fully like. i am injured and may never race again which i can’t fix instantly and easily so i’m going to HAVE THIS BABY. tries to #win at teen pregnancy. and marc is part of a VERY tight knit little family so once he gets better he absolutely carts that baby all around the world and inside the garage. (which. he comes back because he both wants to and HAS TO. marquez family finances already depended on him, now you add a tiny sweet infant into the mix that he is responsible for. marc is already psychotic about winning because of natural competitiveness and the aforementioned family pressures this would literally make him worse. crazier.) babychamp t-shirts new meaning. bouncing her on his knee in the box in 2012 BIG ASS baby ear protectors. santi very seriously explaining shit about tire pressure to the side. kissing her little cheek in parc ferme.

and vale. meets this baby/toddler. LOVES this baby/toddler. and as his relationship with marc takes shape it’s a little different! marc’s i’m old for my age complex is 9000x more pronounced but VALE’S i’m young for my age complex is toooooo… so it’s weirder. yes they start fucking but it’s also like. less often. less free time more baby time they don’t hang out at bars as much but every time vale sees marc he gets to hang out with a hot person he likes and sometimes he gets to be goofy for a leedle baby that he is RAPIDLY gaining affection for. marc leaves her with vale (HUGE TRUST. THE BABYSITTING LIST OUTSIDE OF FAMILY IS LIKE TWO PEOPLE.) when he goes to the bathroom and vale reaches over to grab her favorite toy (bugs bunny plush iykyk) without thinking and it’s like oh. oh no. like he spends enough time with her that he KNOWS HERRRR… doesn’t have the rigidity of the fuckbuddies dichotomy because they hang out so often WITH the baby so he can’t write the whole thing off as much. truly what do you do if you love and want to coparent a child. but are also exceedingly scared of commitment and growing older. well.

anyways vale is a freak so he turns that over in his head for a bit. scared 2 death. chews on that for a while. but when it really gets too deep for him is hmmmm ranch visit. when marc rocks up with his toddler (hot pink tiny bike for her that goes 1mph. baby pecco and luca and franky braiding her hair.) lethally adorable in a too big yellow vr46 hat that makes vale’s chest feel like RIBBONS.) and then marc races vale like he’s going to DIE. for NO reason. in a fun vibey recreational session. and vale’s fucking in it now!! every time marc takes a corner too fast his heart seizes up and marc’s daughter flashes in his brain (the baby curl of her hair and the way she reached for marc laughing from the crowd last race…) ans cold sweat breaks out across the back of his neck because if something happens to marc then—

so he pulls back. still waves to her in parc ferme. still makes stupid faces to make her laugh (feels like he’s FLYING. feels like WINNING.) and does grabby hands with marc on cooldown laps (eye ALSO think he doesn’t realize that his marc feelings are a separate entity for the baby feelings lmao. like that he would be worried about marc regardless. the baby is a good excuse here…) but. it’s interfering with his focus. he has to win his tenth. he can’t be coparenting this kid (she’s turning FOUR he’s been giving her bday presents for THREE YEARS NOW.) and worried about marc like that because marc is a competitor. and marc doesn’t feel that way anyways. marc is a bastard to him on track. marc is crashing all the time (WITHOUT VALE THERE. he hears about marc’s summertime hand injury and is like haha. and the baby was WERE. who is HOLDING HER??). and suddenly uccio is at his door and marc is a saboteur. and he’s getting older and he’s slower and jorge is GOOD and that’s— that gives something for vale to grab on to. to self destruct this before it can implode by itself. to make sense of all of this.

and afterwards— after sepang and their text thread drying up and everything. she still runs up to vale allll the time… finds him in the paddock tugs on marc’s hand until he lets her go… and vale always picks her up spins her around sends her back to her dad… still gets her a bday gift… marc watching with a sad smile on his faceeeee… vale DOES get over things faster in this universe because he wants to be more involved for babychild but. it’s rough there for a while when vale is still lying to himself and marc is creating RIGID structures for who he lets in to his daughter’s life because she STILL asks him to call vale so he can read the bedtime story because marc does NOT do the voices right… and he CANT CALL HIMMMM

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Okay, so I’ve finished my taxes, and I’m basically out of the woods with some overwhelming work stuff, and everything turned out well with a medical situation with my mum, but I am still very tired, but I also cannot keep going without putting my preliminary thoughts on my very first viewing of season 3 down on a post…

It seems my worst characterization so far is assuming that these two idiots would learn to communicate. They haven’t, they’re stupid teenagers, they’re really bad at it, they get mad at each other for everything, and they don’t listen. And that needs to change soon if we want Wilmon endgame.

Boris, do you do couples therapy? PLEASE HELP THEM.

I think a big reason Wilhelm lashes out, besides getting caught up in his own head, is the fact that he’s also constantly afraid of saying the wrong thing and pissing Simon off. But the stakes for Simon are clearly higher. Wilhelm really needs to learn to communicate, but he’s dragging a whole life of terrible communication and zero support, so HOW is he supposed to learn, if he naturally feels afraid to open up?

It shows in the way he reacts to learning about Erik. Simon might be right, and Erik maybe just gave in to peer pressure, like everyone else in that school (which we see over and over again, like with the strike, and that guy who just repeats ‘yeah hilarious’ when Vincent tells him, and the graduation rituals and basically everything that everyone does at that fucking school), and maybe he wasn’t particularly homophobic. Or maybe he was, but if he had found out about Wilhelm maybe he would have changed his views (after all he was a stupid kid too)… But how would Wilhelm know? Erik is dead, there’s no way of asking him, confronting him about it. And people still call him perfect, and still compare him to his brother.

It must be so traumatizing to have held this person in your head as the one you trusted for everything, the one who would support you most, the one who probably knew you better than anyone else, who would love you and be there for you no matter what, and it turns out that he might not have accepted you at all. And just like that Wille is all alone and angry and afraid again.

(This is why it’s extra cruel that August posted that fucking video, especially how premeditated it was to share it over the whole world, but also then tell Wilhelm that his brother was possibly a homophobe. It doesn’t matter that he went through that horrible hazing, it doesn’t matter that he put a stop to it, and it doesn’t matter that he’s a stupid kid too, the fact that he did THAT to someone, anyone, is awful and he should have known better.)

So that scene in season 1 when Erik teases Wilhelm about his crush potentially changes completely. Maybe he didn’t suspect anything, maybe it was just a coincidence that he never used any pronouns…

And that makes it even more traumatizing that his parents still think of Erik as the figure of perfection, and Wilhelm, who is queer and scandalous and rebellious, is the real thorn on their side. Fucking Ludvig saying that Erik really was perfect, that he didn’t have “that darkness inside of him”, to his surviving son… But for all we know maybe Erik’s death was not accidental, maybe he did have “a darkness” inside of him.

On the other hand, that “darkness” doesn’t excuse Kristina at all. I am convinced that this depression/burnout that she’s going through is absolute bullshit. Sure, she might be depressed, she’s still grieving her “perfect” heir, and she’s going through a lot. But it’s like Wilhelm says, how convenient that she shuts down and breaks down now. She wasn’t like this when the video happened, because she could still cover it up. And she wasn’t like this when Wilhelm called her to scream that he was going to abdicate, because she could still drag him out of Hillerska. It was only when he told the whole world, and there was no covering it up anymore, that she suddenly became fragile with grief.

And even if it were true, even if she’s going through a severe depression or burnout, as a result of everything that’s happened, that doesn’t excuse her previous lies and manipulations. And it makes the fact that she still really wants Wille to become her successor, despite knowing what it could do to him, despite knowing that he’s already extremely anxious and that he does not know how to manage his own emotions, is evil.

(And even if she wants August to be the backup too, knowing how he is, knowing his own family history, and how it could affect him too, is evil too.) MORE on this later.

Kristina uses her breakdowns to emotionally manipulate Wille into trying to do his best to be the perfect crown prince, now indirectly through Farima and Ludvig. And Wille’s so concerned with her and her fragility that it affects his relationship with Simon. Because he’s anxious about the possible imminence of having to take over, of being the new monarch, when he can barely control his own feelings, when he just wants to enjoy his first relationship and just be in love.

Of course he made things worse for himself and Simon when he publicly revealed their relationship, but we can understand where that’s coming from. He didn’t want to hide anymore, he didn’t want to not be able to be himself anymore, not be able to be with the boy he loves. But they’re still forced to hide, because people start hating on Simon, because people won’t stop talking about them (as much as I HATED Wille shushing Simon, I also understood that he didn’t want anyone to hear their argument, because he didn’t want to give people more reason to talk about them, but also there’s probably a lot of ‘keeping up appearances’ embedded in his mind), because they are very different and almost incompatible for many reasons, and because being the crown prince means conforming to a lot of things (no tattoos, no cutting your hair shorter than, no nail polish, no expressing political opinions, etc etc), and so he has to remove the nail polish and he doesn’t want his foundation to be geared toward LGBTQIA+ people or mental health issues… He can’t express himself, he can’t be himself, because what he is or who he is for real is not compatible with his role or what is expected of him… he’s so repressed still.

(The whole nail polish scene, and the scene where Simon suggests that Wille’s foundation could be geared toward LGBTQIA+ youth, reminded me a little of Isak in SKAM saying that he wasn’t just going to start marching in the Pride parade or wearing makeup. Wille is not necessarily about identity expression, or at least he doesn’t think that he should be. He just wants to be himself, and be with the boy he loves, and that’s it).

As for Simon, he can do no wrong, and I absolutely agree with everything he says and does, but he has always been very idealistic, and he does come across as a little more naïve than I expected, especially with the whole social media comments and his song. It wasn’t the first time he experienced it, because things went south for him when he appeared on the video, so for him now to think that people are magically not going to be cruel.

But I understand how much he’s sacrificing for Wille, and Wille not appreciating it at all must sting. Just like he points out that he didn’t have contact with Micke for years, for Sara’s sake, and suddenly she’s living with him… that fucking hurt. Simon has always been very opinionated and outspoken, and he’s very authentically and proudly himself, but he’s also always molded himself to what other people need, like being a parented child and taking on too much in the house to relieve Linda, and taking care of Sara, and worrying about his father, and letting himself be manipulated by Marcus, and now basically giving up a lot of himself to be with Wille. And as a result Linda treats him like he’s a drug addict, and Sara goes to the father she didn’t want to have contact with, and Marcus talks shit about him to the press, and Wille doesn’t listen to him…

Sara saw the light (sort of), so maybe hopefully Wille will too. More on that later too.

Anyway, it would have been nice for someone from the royal court to sit Simon down and explain to him what being the boyfriend of a royal involves, so that Wille doesn’t have to figure out how to tell him all these difficult things himself. Wille is so used to some of these things, they seem so obvious to him, that he might not immediately think of how weird or outlandish it might seem to Simon. (THat scene with the cake, I mean… it was funny in a way, but I wonder how many terrifying thoughts crossed Simon’s mind, the obvious “wait what??? did I just eat poison???” but also “wait what??? someone’s trying to poison my boyfriend????” and “there are kids here, have they also accidentally been poisoned????”).

I really really hope that, since he’s being forced to go to Boris with August, that Wille will think about going with Simon, and trying to work things out. They need to be able to say all these things to each other, get on the same page.

More importantly, I need a callback to what Boris said to him in season 2, about the expectations of his family, about being able to make his own choices. Which Wille internalized beautifully with that speech to Simon outside his house.

Anyway, this is already very long. Moving on to more general thoughts:

- I did think that the fact that they sort of resolved the whole issue with the police report and the drugs felt a little anticlimactic. It was built up and built up and the whole season 2 finale was about that, and we had a cliffhanger and everything, and then… bye. I wonder if it will come back (more on that later).

- And for that matter, Alexander just became a background character. Did he even have any lines? I could barely spot him.

- August telling Wilhelm in front of everyone at the table that he’s sure Wille will fuck up on his own… rich.

- Also Stella and Rosh was sort of hinted at, it happened in a blink, and then Fredrika was… jealous? Confused? Homophobic? All of the above? But then… NOTHING. Stella was even missing in the last episode, because she was “sick”… (scheduling conflicts for Felicia? Actually sick?)

- I think it’s interesting that Sara preached and preached to Simon about giving people a second chance, including their dad, and then she… goes and does it? It wasn’t the first time she did, she was with August despite the awful thing he did. And then she goes and… gives August ANOTHER chance????

- Someone needs to tell Sara that she needs to stop getting wtih August, because every time they get together somehow, Wilmon go south… It seems these two couples cannot exist simultaneously…

- So I still have to rewatch, but… is August then in the middle of selling his father’s estate to pay Simon? Are any of his friends aware of this?

- I have a cultural question: what was the whole deal about travelling to the US? I mean, I thought they were asking if these kids have never travelled abroad, but they mentioned the US specifically, several times… Is that a thing in Sweden, traveling to the US? Not any other part of Europe? Not Asia? Just wondering. Made me curious.

- Still waiting for this season’s Elias song… just one episode left… If we don’t get one, or a callback to Revolution, I might claw my face off…

- Nils repeating that maybe Wille would have been better off with someone from the inner circle. Seriously, Nils, who do you mean? WHO? Who could you be referring to? Hmm?

- Something else about Nils… a part of me really wished that Wille would have asked Nils for confirmation on the Erik thing. Wille obviously doesn’t want to believe it at first, but then he does, and hearing it from August makes it even worse, so maybe hearing it from someone like Nils would be the final confirmation that he would need, that his brother was the worst. On the other hand, for him to ask Nils to confirm something like that, as a gay, and possibly hearing what happened to him as a result of it… that would have probably made it even worse.

- Really hate that Marcus was mentioned, that he came back to haunt Simon in a way, even if it was minimal. But props to Simon for not rising to the bait in that moment.

- Simon, my love, i understand that you’re upset and heartbroken, but… it would have been nice if you tried to get Wille to talk to you one last time, before breaking up with him on his birthday… especially seeing everything he’s going through. Not that your feelings are any less important than his, of course, but… are you trying to get him to jump out the window????

-Eternally saddened by the disappearance of the orange sweater. Eternally saddened by the fact that Wilhelm did not set foot in or around Simon’s house this season. Although who knows, still one episode left…

Things that I liked most:

- Seriously the chemistry between Edvin and Omar is OFF THE CHARTS. The intimacy coordinator this season was very good.

- Especially that sex scene. Not just because it makes me immensely happy when my favorite ship fucks, because holy shit that was hot, but also because there’s a whole theme around all the hate mail and messages and classism and homophobia and toxic masculinity that Simon is a target of, especially being Latino, whilst Wille, being white and privileged and high class and the heir to the throne, is probably seen as the “man” of the relationship (especially since in the video he’s also the one “in control” whilst Simon is the receiver), so it’s very VERY satisfying to see that they are both top and bottom at times, and they both equally enjoy it.

- Also the use of choir music during the sex scene, giving it a very holy feel, much like Elias’s Holy playing when they have sex again in season 2… seriously I NEED my Elias song this season or I WILL START A REVOLUTION.

- At first I was annoyed at the whole “school possibly closing” plotline, because I thought it was unneeded. Or that maybe it would play a bigger role in the whole video-drugs controversy. But the truth is that it was really good, how it highlighted these kids’ privilege and the absurdity of wanting to cover things up and uphold traditions, and it also worked wonderfully to highlight the divide between Simon and Wille. As Simon says to Wille, he only takes a stand when he has nothing to lose.

- Felice. Felice this whole season was magnificent. Her whole breakdown over the end of her friendship with Sara, showing how truly important it was to her. And Madison saying that sometimes breaking up with a friend is worse than getting dumped, and I AGREE SO MUCH. But then I also think she loses her sense of self, because despite being popular and beautiful, she still gets used and treated badly, by August (obviously), but also by Wille (the kiss), and worst of all by Sara (who in a way used her for her horse, but also for the clout). And in the meantime, she’s treated differently than the other students for being one of the few black girls, and she gets singled out for her hair… and yet, the school is using her to make themselves look good. And now she decides to give Sara a second chance, because she really missed her, because it really hurt to lose that friend, and Sara goes and… does that…

- One of my favorite things about Simon is how he is proof that just because you’re gay doesn’t mean that you have flawless fashion sense. And i can’t help but wonder how fashion and style icon/ELLE’s Best Dressed Man/OMR Beauty founder Omar feels about Simon’s fashion choices. Never change, Simon, never change.

- Vincent was every bit of the tremendous asshole that I hoped he’d be this season. Did not disappoint. I wanted to punch him in the face every time he opened his mouth. Marvellous.

- I’m happy that we got more Madison, but still not enough. Still, iconic. Forever one of my favorite characters.

- I don’t know what to say about Sara and Micke. Just maybe that, when he played that song in the car, even before they started singing, i just knew “oh fuck, it’s all going to shit soon…” I guess Sara felt lost enough that she was suddenly willing to give him a second chance. And the whole “is that going to happen to me?” bit really made me sad. That she understands that mental health and mental illness is unfortunately many times hereditary, and worries that she might become just like him… But despite not being entirely like him, with addiction problems and such, she was still unreliable like him, she did bad things to her family like he did… I was rooting for you, Micke, we were all rooting for you.

- I feel that August’s love for status and for the monarchy might be starting to fray at the edges. First with the fact that he was reminded of his own traumatizing initiation, and reminded of how the crown prince, his cousin and friend and idol, himself was part of that. Second with the fact that Simon points out that he might have an eating disorder, how he would probably not fare any better than the queen if he were in such a stressful position as crown prince or king, how difficult it is for him to handle stress and anxiety. And third with seeing how it affects Wille and Simon and realizing that something similar might still happen to him and Sara. And the fact that he reveals to Sara why he is the way he is, that he lets his guard down with her, might point to even more growth (even though I hate that Sara sort of gave him a “second chance” again). Also I feel the reality of how they, the Royal Court, would control his life is finally sinking in. Hopefully he will also soon realize that they also use him as a manipulation tool. So maybe he won’t let himself be manipulated by them much longer.

- I loved Wille’s ultimate outburst at his mother and father, i love that he told them everything they needed to hear, about their emotional abuse, their neglect. Unfortunately they still refused to acknowledge how terrible parents they have been, and walked off, instead of trying to resolve it. So Wille throwing around the gifts, as impulsive and tantrum-ish it might come across, makes perfect sense. He tries to talk and gets nothing in return. If he’s repressed it’s bad, but if he expresses himself then nothing happens either.

- And I love that Simon got to see what Wille is really dealing with. As privileged as he might be, he’s still lacking the most important things: unconditional support and love. No amount of money or status can make it better, and Wille is broken. The only thing is that, Simon saw how broken Wille was over the death of his brother, whom he loved very much, but I don’t think he quite grasps the gravity of Wille learning that maybe that beloved brother wouldn’t have been so cool with him, because he has never had to deal with a parent or sibling rejecting him for his sexuality. It’s something very different to be rejected by society at large than it is to be rejected by your own family, and not everyone has the emotional strength to deal with that. So for Wille’s parents to still like his potentially homophobic dead brother more than him, is heart-wrenching. But I don’t think Simon really gets that because he’s probably not surprised that Erik might have been like that, because in his eyes those privileged kids in that school (except obviously Wille, and Felice and Madison, who is asking about the non-binaries) are probably all massive homophobes.

- Despite this, I love that Simon sets boundaries nonetheless. I mean, it hurt like fucking hell for him to tell Wille, on his fucking birthday, that maybe they shouldn’t be together. But just because Wille is hurting doesn’t mean that Simon has not also been hurting too. And if they can’t comfort each other, and try to support each other when they both obviously most need it, then maybe they’re just not going to work. And it took a lot of guts for Simon to bring it up in that moment, in Wille’s bed, in the palace, where he’s basically trapped, with nowhere to go, no way to get away (I doubt he called Linda in the middle of the night to come pick him up more than two hours away in Stockholm).

My hopes for the final episode (I don’t think I have any predictions other than, open ending or not, Wilmon will be endgame and there will be a revolution, I just don’t know how):

- Wilmon talk. An actual, healthy, heartfelt talk. A reconciliation for the ages.

- That the fucking school will close and August won’t be able to graduate, and he’ll realize that maybe he shouldn’t have “lived for that school”, as Erik once put it.

- That Wille will realize that, if Erik was not the person he thought he was, then maybe he no longer has to live up to his legacy anymore. @foreverunraveling pointed out how, now that the big Erik revelation is confirmed, then maybe the queen’s trump card to manipulate Wille into being the ideal crown prince is gone. Wille doesn’t care about the monarchy really, but he did care about not disappointing his brother, the “perfect crown prince”, and now we know that he was far from perfect. Erik lived a double life, as Wille points out, there was “public Erik” or crown prince Erik, and there was “private Erik”, or the real Erik (or so Wille thought, now we know there was a “secret Erik” which was the real Erik) and Wille struggles so much with the idea of having to split himself in two, . Wille cannot live a double life, he withers away when he has to hide himself, and now he gets the opportunity to leave that stifling life behind, and blossom.

- That Simon will get a fucking break. I hate that his whole life was turned upside down from the moment the video was leaked, and it’s just never going to be the same, whether he stays with Wille or not, he’ll always be the boy from the crown prince sex tape, he’ll always be the crown prince’s ex, or the crown prince’s boyfriend. But I want some positive feedback for him, someone bigger than the woman and the little boy wanting a selfie. I want him to have his own fanclub or something. Maybe that’s too idealistic…? (I may be imagining something like that scene in Red White and Royal Blue, when they realize that there’s a whole crowd outside the palace all excited to the the Prince and his First son boyfriend… one can dream).

- I want whatever Felice said during the interview to be taken seriously, and for her to stop doubting herself.

- I want a genuine apology from August.

- Also one from Kristina.

- I get the feeling that the fact that August leaked the video might still come out publicly, what with the whole school issue. And in that case, I would like for it to be Simon might to do it, tossing the money from the settlement in his face. It looks like Simon still feels guilty about accepting it, especially when he chided Wille about his privilege and Wille (figuratively) threw the money back in his face. What if Simon does it literally?

- I really wanna know what’s going to happen between Felice and Sara now. The outlook is not good.

- Is it too much to ask to know what’s going on between Stella and Fredrika?

- Most importantly, is the whole thing with Erik going to come out eventually? And how will people react? With support for the monarchy, or with support for Wille?

I have so many more thoughts, but I’m slightly burnt out, and I really should take a break. Also this is way too long. Might have more thoughts once I’ve rewatched the first five episodes, calmly over the weekend…

Also this is very long and I’m sorry.

[qqueenofhades]

Is it normal that I’m legitimately so scared of saying pretty morally tame things like “I don’t want to talk about genocide because it makes me severely uncomfortable” or in general expressing my political opinion.

Like i’m not even kidding when I say that all my drafts are just my possibly offensive (probably not) political takes i’m just so scared of everyone leaving me it’s not even funny.

Anyway i also think that if you talk about Palestine but not Ukraine you are a victim of Russian Propaganda™️

I’m sorry I don’t know why i did this have a nice day ok baiiiiiii

Here's the thing. You and every other average social media user should not have to masquerade as a sudden in-depth expert on every single social, political, humanitarian, etc. crisis that we are dealing with in this wretchedly miserable excuse for a timeline. It should not be a baseline expectation on you that when you log onto your little social media in your little average life, you have to come up with The Correct Opinions on everything and if you don't, you're "perpetrating oppression" by not vigorously spreading misinformation, instead of simply admitting that you don't know what to do, you as an average citizen are not in a position of making this change and therefore don't actually have to spend every waking minute obsessing about it, and that maybe, just maybe, you'd like to spend more time informing yourself until and/or IF you decide you want to talk about it. This is the same as the Instagram Activists (TM) who traumatize themselves to the point of PTSD by constantly consuming torture and/or war porn and/or graphic content about murdered children because they "don't have the right to look away." Actually, you do. You are able to make choices to control your personal social media use and to set boundaries as to what you do and do not want to do and/or see, rather than insisting that the only moral choice is to literally mentally destroy yourself with all the weight of human suffering in the world and then expected to act as a de facto expert on all of it, on pain of being Cancelled. This is a stupid, irrational, unhealthy, and generally idiotic expectation. You should not have to take part in it. Nobody should.

Likewise, I think that this is a large part of why people are so scared to voice any opinion that goes against the Prevailing Groupthink: they are afraid of losing friends, of having nasty bad-faith internet trolls say mean things about them, being accused of being a "bad person," or otherwise being guilt-tripped, shamed, and blamed for not centering their entire existence around something that they cannot actually do anything about. Once again, people think the only way you can be Known to Oppose Something Problematic (tm) is if you post on social media about it all the time. Forget whatever you might be doing offline, in your real life, or otherwise; it "doesn't count" if you don't make a big virtuous display of your Rightthink, or you will be viciously harassed. Now, look, I am old and/or tired enough that I don't give a shit what stupid internet users say about me, but I can tell you that I sure did when I was younger, it was incredibly painful to be on the end of those kinds of attacks, and it's (again!) not something you should just have to expect as a baseline level of gaslighting and harassment. As I have said. This is Tumblr. It is a stupid blue website mostly for fandom and/or three in-jokes. This is not a platform where we are expected To Do Social Justice all the time, nor should it be. As for Elon Musk's Twitter: yeah. No.

Also: yes, if you do spend all your waking moments obsessing over Palestine, but say nothing whatsoever about Ukraine and/or openly support Russia, you are in fact very much a victim of Russian Propaganda and you 100% support genocide when it's done by an "anti-western" state that you support for that reason alone. You only care because you can use the cause to make yourself look morally superior, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with opposing genocide on a basic, universal, or fundamental level. The end.

(I hope you have a nice day too. The anger in this is not directed at you. I support everything you've said here and hope that you're able to set healthy boundaries and protect yourself.)

[stolaz-the-artist]

May you make a murder drones au of nexo knights Please 😢

MURDER DRONES SPOILER WARNING

I mean yeah, that's kind of obvious.

This Is gonna be a loooong post. Longest ask I've worked on.

I didn't need to make so many drawings but I had so much fun I just kind of had to.

im gonna do everyone a favor and kind of digitalize my writing under each page, just in case its hard to read.

Serial Designator C

"I don't know because you won't tell me!"

"Oh please don't run! if I miss it will just prolong your suffering"

"Oh i do wanna be dapper *sigh* but alas"

Clay: Are you . . . new drones?

Macy: Uh, sure?

Clay: Hm. . . Well I have been saying we need more bots

Serial Designator W

"C-100110010! HOW DARE YOU LOCK YOUR MOTHER UP!? You let me out this instant!"

"Wait . . . Prom queen?"

Lance: He's literally so ungrateful. Like you're so cool.

"How did you even manage to knock yourself offline?"

*Rebooting. . .*

"If the other one survived after all this time it's truly a miracle"

Serial Designator F (Fletch)

Post limb change

Him and Izzy are very close friends (She think its cool when its revealed he's a Disassembly drone)

Was "adopted" by two worker drones (That W killed in an attempt to get him back)

He's a bit taller due to his torso, but because his legs cant fully support him, he's constantly hunching

"Im so tired of this shit"

Gets called names like • Loose-limb Fletch

•Drop-A-Limbs

•Disjoint-Drone

•Snap-off Fletch

Fletch: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

Wanda: Literally barely anything. Just put the right limbs on

Wanda: Like what kind of idiot tried to connect Worker drone limbs to a Disassembly drone torso?

Macy Doorman

"Huh, knew illegal downloading all those Ned Knightly movies would come in handy"

"EAT PLASMA BITCH!"

Macy: One more buzzword and I'll do it

Jestro: . . . Equity Partnersh-

"Oh bite me"

Clay: Now im pretty new to this "Rebelling" stuff. But uh, do I have to fight my mom? Its just that-

Macy: YES!

Clay: sighhh Fine, lets do this

Aaron

"The hell happened to you?"

Aaron: So do you think they like video games?

Lance: Doubt it

Aaron: Then why are we here?

Lance: Blackmail

Aaron: Oh fair

One of Macy's best friends (And the friend she's had the longest)

"Super invited to my shindig next week"

Aaron, whispering: I mean, he's fun sized?

*sizzle*

Aaron, whispering: Ok so not fun

Macy: whispering: OH REALLY!?

Lance

Axl: Where's Macy

Lance: She went out

Axl: Out? Have she lost her mind?

Lance: Think so. Oh and Aaron went with her

Axl: Excuse me?

Lance: Yeah . .

Phone focus cuz tiny space

Wanda: This is so shit

Lance: I know right

Fashionista. Yes he knows there are non flip phones, he has one, but it just doesn't meet the same level of sass as a clip phone

Lance: Do you understand what will happen if you go out there? Let me spell it out; D-E-A-T-H! Are you out of your-

Aaron: I'll come lol

Lance: Yeah, no. You two gp enjoy dying. The hell you think this is, a shitty horror movie?

Axl

"Im gone for 5 min to get some actual edible snacks and everyone is dead!?"

Accidentally gave her the gun idea

Really fixated on food, spends a lot of time recreating food

His bigger legs make him a bit less flexible, but he packs a mean kick (home made)

Axl: There we go!

Lance: Aren't you worried someones actually gonna drink it thinking its actually edible- or drinkable I guess

Lance: But idk, people are pretty stupid here

Axl: Hm, no you're right

Decoration don't drink u'll die lol

Serial Designator J

"its tricked you! and if I promised you anything . . . It tricked me too . . ."

"Ha-ha! I-am so good-at-hiding!"

Is AD's most "trusted" worker (And with ,pst trusted I mean most easily manipulated)

Clay: What will the company do to us once we're done? How do we know the company wont get rid of us?

Jestro: Awh, im so sorry. You know the consequences of questioning the company

*virus*

Clay: Hm, fair enough

Monstrux

Merlok

Absolute Destruction

"The flesh demands invitation"

"Dropped this-silly"

Pre-skinning Merlok

Robot view

Monstrux: You look g-great, toots! hm . .

Monstrux: Have you considered a hat-tho

~*~

There's a few extra sketches I did for fun lying around, and if ya'll want that (plus the story line of what's happening) just tell me I would include it here but this is painfully long enough

(Oh and all relationships are kinda neutral here. They don't entirely line up with the show. Ship whoever I don't care)

Anyways, this took weeks to make (cuz of studying and the fact I got sick in the middle of it) but im rather happy with what I have came up with!

Always feel free to make asks like this! I enjoy them a lot! might take a while for them to come out cuz of school but I'll do my best!

(Also I'm aware some are a bit out of character, it was for comedic purposes)

[amichi-ameira]

motivations

I want to basically list out the reason WHY I wanna lose weight:

Parents and friends: I am always seen as the fat nerd and taken very unserious. Whenever there is food missing my parents will lash out on me the first instinct. My smaller friends also always make jokes abt being fat around me

Looks: Not only that but I wanna look in the mirror and not be in disbelief of my hideous body for once. I want that beautiful skinny legend build I can only achieve by starving. Whenever I stand next to my friends, I look like a fat aunty instead of a teenager, and it was furthermore confirmed by strangers calling me aunty from back when I was 12. I also wanna fit into trendier and cuter clothes and not having to ask for extra large for any time I wanna go shopping. The amount of times I go to clothing stores and visualize my outfits just to realize I’m a fat 🦆 is just soul crushing. And my parents pointing my weight during any argument isn’t funny anymore

Proving em wrong: I am TIRED of my parents thinking their stupid keto diet is gonna work and then going straight back to their diet of a 600lbs contestant, their excuse? They are old and I am not. I also want to enjoy my teenage years by proving them wrong by losing weight before summer. I wanna prove to my parents that I don’t need their 2 month extra care and year load of neglect to be skinny

also, I would LOVE if yall like or react with my post so my fat self can stay until I have built my confidence

[phoebepheebsphibs]

.Dead asleeP.

Title: Chapter 3: N3 Prompt: You were peacefully sleeping when you suddenly wake up to the sound of a heart monitor steadily beeping somewhere nearby, and realize you are in the med-bay with no memory of what happened prior to this. // After watching movies with your siblings all night and passing out in the tv room, you wake up to find that you're alone. What happened? Fandom: ROTTMNT Word Count: 5806 Author: PhoebePheebsPhibs Rating: Gen Characters: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, & Raphael (disembodied voices) Warning: Derealization, nightmare-ish stuff (Leo is stuck in a dream) Summary: Leo deals with the inconvenience of being stuck in a dream and getting reacquainted with the 'ghosts' that follow him. Notes: More chapters to follow (3 more, to be exact)

@shr00mi3writefight @tmnt-write-fight @that-0n3-shr00mi3

Posted to AO3 <-

Leo strode through the maze of death fairly easily. Yes, there were traps and snares and mystical kitchen supplies, but for the most part he went through unnoticed.

"I don't remember it being this easy," Leo muttered.

"It wasn't," a voice reminded flatly. "Remember, everyone stay together. Draxum said something about drifting off --"

"So... what happens when I reach the center of the maze? Do I win, or...?"

"I'm not sure," one of the voices mused. "Just let us know if you feel any different, okay?"

"Okay," Leo nodded. "So... how do we know each other? Outside of the dream world?"

"We're very close. We're family."

"What do you mean?" Leo half-chuckles. "I think Splinter would tell me and my bros if we had any extended fam."

"What?"

"Or are you, like, my turtle parents? You mentioned... I think you said 'Barry', as in Baron Draxum, so maybe you're other mutants or something? Or... are you related to Drax?"

 Leo turned left, then right, then left again. He could almost see the center of the maze coming up. But the voices were quiet. Leo could sense their discomfort.

"What? What? Hey, what did I say?" he asked nervously.

"...It's nothing. You just kind of... glossed over the obvious."

"Obvious?" Leo questions. "How? I basically went through every option!"

"I think all we can tell you at this point is that we're family," one of the voices stated. "I don't think you'd be able to hear anything more detailed than that."

"Why not?!" Leo grumbled, kicking at a stone angrily. "Why can't you tell me?!"

"We're not the ones doing it!" another voice chimed in. "We've been TRYING to tell you everything this whole time, Nardo!"

"You haven't told me anything! And nobody calls me Nardo but Donnie!" Leo snapped back.

And then the realization snapped him right back in the face.

"...No one but Donnie has ever... Family, you said you're... obvious... Oh my gosh, I am so stupid. Donnie... is... is that you?"

Silence.

"H-hey, Don-Tron, don't go silent on me now! I figured it out! I know who you are, I know -- I-I'm sorry for getting mad! Please, d-don't leave me again! Come back! Donnie? M-Mikey? Raph? Are you guys..."

Leo came upon the end of the maze, a giant statue of gold at its epicenter.

"...there...?"

The center of this maze was not the same as the real one at all. For one thing, it wasn't in the center of the maze at all. Either that, or the maze had been carved in half. Just beyond the statue, the Hidden City and its magical town square awaited him.

His eyes glossed over. He felt so tired and sluggish. Leo's mind was cleansed, his memories of the pizzeria and the events prior were wiped clear.

"...Oh, hey! The Hidden City! I've always wanted to sight-see here!"

Leo ran out of the maze giddily and approached a brochure stand.

"Excuse me, do you have any sites you'd recommend for a bona fide hero like myself? Maybe something exciting, or daring, or maybe even a relaxing spa?"

"First time here?" the Yokai asked from behind the counter.

"No, no no no no no no no no no. No." Leo huffed and puffed out his chest proudly. "It's my eighth time!"

"It's your 13th time, dum-dum."

Leo looked around nervously.

"Did you hear that?"

"Oh-ho, no, we're NOT going through this again..."

"Hear what, kid?" the Yokai asked, shuffling through supplies as Leo whirled around in circles, anxiously searching for the source of the apparition.

"That voice, I --"

"Leo, long story short, you're stuck in a dream-world that's all fake. We're trying to help you escape."

"But, what --"

"Every time you get to a new area, your memory restarts."

"And we can't tell you who we are for some reason because... uh... mystic curses are weird?"

"But what, kid?" the Yokai gruffed.

Leo looked back at her, confused. He blinked, trying to process it all. There was a flood of emotions running through him, each one tethered to a soul that was not his own, but strangely connected to his. Frustration, hope, irritation, redundancy, resignation --

"Um... never mind. I think I just went temporarily insane."

"Oh, COME ON!"

There was the frustration again.

"Look, do you want the brochure or not?" the Yokai stall-keeper growled, waving the paper in Leonardo's face.

"I'll take it," Leo said quickly, snatching the map and walking away briskly.

Once he was out of earshot of the Yokai, Leo hissed at the ghosts.

"Okay, weird brain ghosts -- what is going on?!"

"We've already told you. THREE TIMES OVER BY NOW," one huffed with exasperation. "Okay. Just... calm down, we all need to calm down... Alright. From the top. Leo: you are trapped in a dreamworld. Nothing is real, but it's trying to keep you here. It's TRAPPED YOU. We used a magic spell to infiltrate your dreams so that we could help wake you up!"

"How?"

"Well, first off we had to draw these really cool symbols around your bed and --"

"N-no, I mean how am I supposed to wake up?" Leo corrected.

"Oh. Well, according to Mikey -- er, according to the most mystically-inclined of us, we help you get through a certain amount of dreams like levels in a video game."

"How many?" Leo asked.

"Um... I... don't remember. Barry said it had something to do with the whole... sleep cycle?"

"Oh, he was referring to REM and NREM, which means there will be five. Or, well, three now that we've gotten through two of them already," a ghost with a nerdy voice interjects. "Sleep comes in cycles, you see. It starts off with awake-slash-alert, and progressively gets deeper and deeper. After awake and alert, then comes N1, then N2, N3, and finally the REM, which stands for 'Rapid Eye Movement'. Rem is when you have dreams."

"And NREM?" Leo asked, curious. "What's that?"

"NREM is 'Non-Rapid Eye Movement'. It's just dreamless sleep, a time when the body rests and rejuvenates itself, repairing and regrowing tissue and rebuffing the immune system. Studies show that 75% of sleep is NREM. An interesting science fact, but REM periods are short, though the longer you spend asleep, the longer the REM periods will be!"

"Does that mean that the longer it takes us to get him through, the harder each level will get?" a nervous voice asks.

"...I hadn't thought of that."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Leo asked, stuffing the brochure into his fanny pack. "Let's get going! Uh, do you guys know which way I should head?"

"Ooh, ooh, I do!" a cheery voice chimed in.

Leo watched with bewilderment as a fluttering golden light sparked before him, flying away and leaving a trail of shimmers in its gentle wake.

"Um... that was you, right?"

"That was Mikey. Uh, the mystically-inclined-light-guy one. He just ran off. He's not s'posed to, though."

"Not supposed to?"

"Well, Draxum said that getting off track would cause us to lose sight of what we're here for and pull us into the trap, but... if he's just looking for the way to the next dream, then I think it should be okay..."

"Cool, cool. Just so long as I'm not actually losing my mind... What do you mean by 'ran off'?"

"I mean that little beam of light WAS him."

"I thought I couldn't see you?" Leo wondered aloud. "What changed?"

"Mikey's been doing stuff like that the whole time. Anytime you see a golden light, that's him. You can't see what we actually look like, for some bizarre reason. You walk right through us."

"Have I been... walking right through you this whole time?"

"...Kinda."

"What does that even feel like?"

"Honestly, it doesn't feel like anything. And... I can't speak for the Mikey or Donnie, but it makes ME feel... lonely."

Leo swallowed sadly.

"...Sorry."

"Hey, it ain't your fault!" the voice kindly said. But their voice cracked, the vocal pitch shifted.

Leo felt a stifling, a sick knot in a stomach. The holding of breath, the looking away, a telltale sign that something was not as it seemed. Leo felt as though they were hiding something. Leo felt like there was a lie hidden somewhere. He tried to ignore it, and instead chased after the light, following the trail into the city streets. There were so many stalls and colourful people here, each one a personality extreme and boisterous. And each stranger Leo would have loved to get to know. He was a people person at heart, hence why he always took the role of 'face-man'.

"I didn't know that about you," one of the voices murmured.

"Didn't know what?"

"Oh did I forget to mention we can kinda read each other's' minds?"

"Wait, for real?!" Leo shouted as he stopped right in the middle of the street. "Are you kidding me?!"

"I never kid about ESP."

Leo fidgeted with his sash, adjusting and readjusting it as he swallowed the information given so nonchalantly to him.

"So what did you just hear?" he inquired.

"The people-person tidbit."

"Oh. Okay," he mumbled. Out of all the things he could think of, that was not the most embarrassing. "Now it's my turn! Think of something!"

"Well, uh, it... it doesn't really work like that..." the other voice responded.

"Oh, what? Boo! Totally unfair!" Leo complained. "How come you can hear my thoughts, but I can't hear yours?"

"Well, first off, we can't hear ALL your thoughts. Just the ones where you think to yourself, like a conversation. Secondly, you might not be able to read our minds, but you can feel our emotions."

"Huh?" Leo's stride slowed a bit, as he tried to understand.

"You can sense our presence, though you can't actually feel or see us," voice A explained. "Before, you could feel we were with you without being able to see or hear us at all! And Mikey -- the light guy -- said that you 'felt him' earlier. He'd made a beam of light around himself for you to follow. When you touched the light, you were actually holding his hand. You seemed to know who it was, and you even said his name! Mike was so excited..."

Leo slowly continued walking down the pathway, following the glittery sparkles that illuminated the path.

"...Can you do that?"

"Do what? Make light?"

"Yeah, can you make a light thing?"

"Why?"

"...No reason," Leo lied.

"He wants to be able to touch you, too," voice B snitched.

"Wha-hah-hat? No!" Leo opposed, laughing like a nervous wreck.

"I never kid about ESP."

"Narc," Leo grumbled.

Leo felt a swell of warmth. The sting of tears behind your eyes. Pride, longing, love. And then regret.

"Sorry, Leo. That's not my specialty."

"Specialty?" he probed. "What does that mean?"

"Mike-- The 'light guy' is good at magic and light-related stuff. The, uh... 'Narc' is good at bein' smart beyond all reason and buildin' all kinds of things! Me, I'm good at bein' strong. The tank, the shield... I can't make a light thing because that's not what I am."

"Oh."

"Are you... disappointed?"

Leo stopped again, and turned around. He tried to imagine a face to look at, to direct his thoughts.

"No! I mean, I'm a little bummed that I can't... y'know, feel you or whatever. But you sound really cool!"

"You think I'm... cool?"

"Yeah, dude! You sound like my brother, Raph. He's cool like that, too -- always strong, brave, working to make sure we're the heroes Splinter always knew we could become. And now I'm friends with a fricken' tank?! He would be so jealous; do you know how awesome that sounds?!"

Leo felt a short-lived pride. A small semblance of reassurance, a twinge of nostalgia. And then sadness.

"Thanks, dude."

"What's wrong?" Leo asked, reaching forward instinctively. He couldn't feel anything, but he sensed the loneliness the 'Tank' had mentioned earlier.

"Nuthin'. C'mon, let's hurry up and find Mikey before he gets too far ahead."

Leo walked along the streets. He noticed that the light was starting to dim. He also noticed that the dimming of the light made the other two ghosts -- Narc and Tank -- uneasy. He could hear soft whispers that they kept to themselves, thinking that maybe he couldn't hear him.

"Do you think that maybe he's lost? Does Mikey actually know what he's doing?"

"Of course he does. Draxum told him how the spell works --"

"But are we sure? I mean, I don't want to doubt Mikey's abilities -- but this is Leo's life at stake here."

"Keep your voice down! He might hear you..."

"Raph, this is a big deal. Leo has been comatose for seven whole days with no sign of recovery. I... I don't want to lose him."

"We won't. I'm sure we won't."

The two were eerily quiet. At first, Leo was afraid that they'd gone again, left him alone in the silence. But then one of them -- the Tank -- spoke up.

"We're still here, Leo."

"Oh, thank Pizza Supreme," the slider muttered under his breath. "You had me worried for a moment."

"You think we'd leave you?"

"I-I don't know," Leo admitted. "I... I'm not sure why. But I felt like... maybe? Like it happened before..." Leo stalled, slowing to a stop as foggy recollections came back to him. "I thought... I remember.... you left me? Or you went silent..."

"We didn't mean to," Tank responded. "The first time, you sorta... disappeared. You vanished, and Mikey had to search for you for a few minutes before we found you again. The second time, we were still with you, but once we came into the new dream, it was like everything reset, and we couldn't reach you anymore. We keep having to fight to reach you."

"Why?" Leo asked. "The light guy mentioned a curse, I think. Is that part of it? Part of whatever's keeping me trapped here?"

Tank considered it deeply before answering.

"I don't know. Mikey would know better."

"The light guy?"

"Yeah, the light guy."

"Where is he, by the way?" Leo wondered, looking around.

The streets were getting busier. The sparkles getting dim, almost completely faded.

"Well, that's not good."

"What do we do?" Leo asked. "How do we get out of here?"

"Follow me," Narc said quietly. "I think I can find 'Light Guy' using my ninpo."

"How am I supposed to follow you if I can't see you?" Leo reminded, not even considering to skimp on the sass.

"But you can hear me. Follow my voice, okay?"

"Got it," Leo said with a nod.

Narc started to talk. And talk. And talk.

Wow. Okay. He liked to talk a lot. Leo started to groan from all the things he went on about. He spoke of science, the stars, astronomy. He talked about black holes, and the theories behind what would happen if you stepped inside one. He spoke of the different classifications of stars, such as red giants and dwarf stars and why they twinkle or change colour in the night. He talked about the moon, and how he was convinced that there was a secret second moon.  Narc mentioned his favourite conspiracies. He spoke of the rewriting of history, the possible faked moon landing, the mysteries behind the Lost Colony of Roanoke. He talked about Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, the Jersey Devil, but he refused to touch the subject of aliens for some reason. Instead, he brought up biology. Microbes, bacteria, germs, single-celled organisms. The mitochondria were the powerhouse of the cell. Red blood cells, white blood cells, bone structure, muscles, how hair and nails were made of the same thing, melanin, mutations, and so forth.  To say he touched a bit on the subject of botany would be an understatement...

"Man, you would really like my brother Donnie," Leo noted. "He's totally into this stuff, too."

There was silence. Leo felt an awkward tension.

"Ahem. So, uh... do you guys like Jupiter Jim?"

There was a stifled cackle from Tank.

"Yeah. Yeah, we do. But not as much as Lou Jitsu!"

"Seriously?" Leo gaped, excited beyond measure. "I LOVE Lou Jitsu's films! And you may have figured it out by the genetic resemblance, but in case you didn't, did you know that --"

"Um, guys?" Narc piped in. "Have we been here before?"

Leo looked around at the stalls. There was a florist pop-up stand, a shoe shop set up against a stone cavern wall, a water fountain, a park bench, and a few other stalls that all sold shady-looking mystic trinkets.

"...I don't think so?" Leo offered. "It doesn't look familiar..."

"I could have sworn we came this way before..."

"Do you think we've gone in circles?"

"I thought so... But it's Leo's dreamscape. If he says no, then.... Let's just keep going for now, Mikey's trail is getting cold."

Leo followed the sound of Narc and Tank talking. He joined in, each one speaking of their favourite Lou Jitsu film.

They passed by a fishmonger, a jeweler, and a children's school for wizards.

Narc mentioned how some dreams hold deeper meaning, and some things represent deep-rooted fear or a danger. He mentioned how dreams were often used to predict the future, and how some people can even see future visions in their sleep.

They passed by a series of diners and Yokai eateries.

Tank wondered where Light Guy was. He started to worry about what might have happened to him. Tank seemed like the worrying kind. They discussed how someone could get lost inside Leo's mind. It unnerved him to think that there was a person snooping around his subconscious.

They passed by a florist, a shoe shop, and a water fountain.

Wait... didn't they just...?

"Do you guys see that?" Leo asked, pointing. "We passed that flower stand already, right?"

"I TOLD YOU we were going around in circles!" Narc whined.

"Wait, so we must've taken a wrong turn somewhere!" Tank deduced. "Maybe we try retracing our steps?"

The group go back the way they came. Past the flower stand. Past the diners. Past the wizard school. Past the jewelers. Past the fishmongers. Past the shady-looking trinket stands. Past the park bench and water fountain. Past the shoe shop. Past the flower stand...

Uh-oh.

"Wait, how does that work?" Leo wondered aloud, pointing in the two directions they'd come from.

"A common nightmare is going round in circles, moving around but never getting anywhere," Narc offered. "This might be something of that nature."

"Uh... what exactly happens in those kinds of dreams?"

"You never get anywhere, as to be expected. They represent psychological distress, usually related to interpersonal problems, work-related issues, or basically anything that revolves around a stressful or anxiety-inducing situation."

"Well, it's a good thing I don't have any of those problems!" Leo exhaled with relief.

The nagging feeling of swallowing your words, hiding the truth, lying. Leo could feel it in the others.

"What? What are you guys not saying?"

"Huh? Nothing! Nothing at all..."

"Uh-huh. Right. Anyway, Narc, how do we break out of the loop?" Leo asked.

"First off, hate that nickname. Second, try doing anything out of the ordinary? Maybe try... going off the path?"

"Alrighty then, let's think outside the box!" Leo whooped, jumping over the flower cart and racing away.

He could feel Tank and Narc close behind him as he ran in odd zig-zaggy patterns. He bobbed and weaved through the crowds, trying to maneuver through them as he searched for a new path to take. The crowds parted. There was a florist pop-up stand and a shoe shop.

"What the what?!" Leo yelled, throwing his fists in the air. "This doesn’t make any sense! How am I supposed to escape this dream prison thing if I can't escape a single avenue?!"

Leo started running again. This time, out of pure anger. He ran and ran and ran, hearing Tank shout after him. He ran and ran and ran, ignoring Narc's scoldings. He ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran.

Leo ran out of breath. He collapsed to his knees, laughing over the thought that he couldn't breath when he couldn't feel the effects of breathlessness. It didn't hurt his chest. It didn't even feel tight or constricted. He wasn't even tired. He couldn't feel anything other than despair.

Leo happened to glance down at the cobblestone path beneath him. There was dust, dirt, pebbles... and a sparkling glitter trail, just faint enough that you would miss it if you weren't a few inches away from it. He pressed a finger against the sparkle. It grew brighter against his fingerprint. Hmmm...

"Tank?" Leo called out. "Are you still there??"

"I'm here!" Tank shouted back, running up towards Leo, his voice gaining volume as he did. "What is it?"

"You said that Narc could make anything, right?"

"Yeah?" Tank confirmed slowly, his tone sounding wary. "Why?"

"Can he make something that can make these brighter? Or track them like a metal detector?" Leo asked, holding his finger up in the air.

"Well, 'Narc'?"

"First of all, you don't have to call me that, you know my name. Don't call me Narc. Secondly..."

There was a pause. Leo could faintly feel something like a soft breeze around his hands. He looked up in expectation to see something holding his hand, lifting them up to inspect. But he couldn't see anything. It made his heart sink.

"...I can work with this."

There was a rush of wind, a burst of electricity, and Leo had to cover his eyes or else he would be blinded. When he opened his eyes again, there was a strange bracelet-gauntlet-wristwatch-thing on the ground before him. It was glowing purple, and looked like it had been made from tangible light, like a hologram.

"What is this thing?" Leo asked, picking the device up and examining it thoroughly. 

"It's an enhancer; specifically it enhances ninpo. It is locked on to 'Light Guy's signature, so it will not only follow his magic trail, it'll also enhance it! And if he made it to the exit, then hopefully it lead us out of this loop."

Leo smiled as he placed the device on his wrist. A surge of something strange and powerful coursed through his veins, up his arm, and filled his lungs. It was exciting, brilliant, clear and logical, cutthroat but loving in its own nerdy way.

It was Donnie.

"...Don...?"

"Hmm?"

"This... Donnie, is this you?"

A pause, baited breath, terror and desperate hope fogging up the air with a tension so thick that not even Leo's odachi could carve through it. He could hear the audible gasp of shock from Tank, but the silence from Narc Donatello was deafening. Leonardo heard him take a deep inhale before answering.

"...You're not going to faint or get a memory wipe again, are you?"

"What does that mean?"

"This isn't the first time you figured out who I am, Nardo."

Leo swallowed.

"The last time... I forgot you?"

"I think you figured it out just as we were entering a new dream, so that might have been the cause."

"Oh. But.... it is you, right?"

Leo could feel the breeze around him shift, encompassing his arms and shoulders. He reached out for it, trying to grip it in an embrace if he could.

"It's me. It's Donnie."

Leo tried not to cry. But all he wanted was to hold Donnie close, hold him tight, say he was sorry for forgetting him, not recognising his voice or mannerisms at all. He wanted to apologise for so many things, he wasn't even sure what. There was a bubbling force in his stomach, urging him to say sorry for leaving them and the invasion and everything he was responsible for.

But instead, he just hung his head sadly.

"...I'm sorry, Don."

"It's okay, Nardo. We just want to help you get better. To get out of this."

"...So does that mean that 'Tank' is... Raph?"

"That's me," Tank Raph said, and Leo could hear the smile in his voice.

"So... so who's Light Guy?"

"You... you can't figure it out?"

"Well, I was gonna say Mikey, but Mikey can't do all that magic stuff you guys mentioned!"

There was another silence. Leo sensed their confusion, the withholding of information.

"What? What aren't you telling me?"

"Leo... how do you think I was able to make the wristlet?" Donnie asked.

"I dunno, brainpower? Imagination? We're in the dream world, after all."

"Yeah, but we can't actually do anything in here," Raph told him. "We can't affect the world around you, we can't even interact with you."

"So... so then how did you make this?" Leo asked, turning his wrist over to inspect the bracelet.

"With my ninpo.... But you don't know what that is, do you?"

"...Um... Yessss, I do?" Leo tries.

"You're lying. You don't know what that is. You can't even hear me say the word, can you?"

Leo squirmed uncomfortably.

"You said you'd only been to the Hidden City eight times when you've actually been here thirteen. In the last dream, Hueso said you saved the world, but you were confused by what he meant."

"Leo... what's the last thing you remember?" Raph asked nervously.

"The... the last thing I remember?" Leo reechoed. "Like... from the dreams?"

"No, from real life."

"I-I'm not sure," Leo whispered. "The dream world feels real, I can't really tell when the memories end and the dream starts... was... we had a sleepover... was that real or a dream?"

"We've had a lot of sleepovers," Donnie chimed in. "Are you thinking about the one you dreamt of? With all the snacks and pizza and--"

"And Raph exploded the Vitamin Water?" Leo finished. "That... that was a part of a dream?"

"Yeah. Leo... what was the last big mission you went on?"

"Uh... the Shredder?"

"Which Shredder mission?" Raph asked.

"What do you mean, which one? We... we got rid of him..."

"...Did we work with Big Mama to banish him?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Who's the leader of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?"

"Who? Is that like, some off-brand version of the Mad Dogs?"

"...Who is the leader of the Mad Dogs?"

"Raph is."

"..."

"...This is not ideal."

"Why? What's not ideal?? What aren't you telling me... is Raph not the leader anymore? What happened to Raph, why can't he lead??"

"Nothing happened to Raph, he just... Never mind. We need to find Mikey."

Leo wanted to keep prying, find out what was so devastating that no one would tell him... But the glowing device on his wrist began to glow, and the sparkles that had all but disappeared from the ground began to brighten, and by contrast, the rest of the Hidden City began to dim.

"There! Follow that glitter!"

Leo ran after the path, going in circles at least twice before the glittering specks led away from the path, down a different and unseen lane. Leo could feel a strange emotion rising up slowly. One that was lost, scared, feeling hopeless... but strangely tired. The exhaustion that weighed down this soul was crushing, Leo almost felt like he too would fall asleep if he wasn't wary. There was also a strange cloud of confusion surrounding the feelings. Leo could feel this person was lost, not just physically, but also mentally. They felt... Leo wasn't sure how to describe it. They felt like everything they knew was slowly fading away.

Leo pushed past a group of Yokai and saw the sparkling light that had attempted to guide him before, only now it was alone, laid limp on the ground, and growing duller by the second.

"There he is!" Donnie yelled. "Mikey!"

Leo felt the ghost of something move through him, purple light surrounding the small star on the floor. The light fluttered before suddenly vanishing completely. Leo gasped in terror before feeling something like a warmth over his shoulder.

"Mikey?!"

"He's okay," Raph soothed. "He just came out of the light form. Donnie has him now."

"Is -- is he -- what's going on, why was he on the floor like that?! Could you see him, why did he feel like -- like he was -- like he --"

"He's alright, just semi-incapacitated," Donnie informed them. "Angelo, wake up. Angelo?"

"This must've been what Draxum was talking about when he said not to get sidetracked," Raphael realises.

"Meaning?" Leo interrogated. "Sidetracked from what?"

"From you," Raph whispered. "If we stay away from you for too long, we'll 'lose sight of what we're here for', and become trapped just like you."

Leonardo heard a soft mumble, followed by a growing sensation of comfort. Mikey was waking up.

"Mmmm....? Wha... wha' happ'ned...? Who... who are you?"

"What? Angelo, it's me! It's Donnie!"

"Why... why couldn't I hear your name?"

Leo felt sickness rising in his stomach. Donnie and Raph felt like they were going to puke. Mikey's head was fogged up and cloudy, heavy with confusion and riddled with sleepiness.

"What's going on?" Leo asked. "What's wrong with Mikey?"

"I-I don't know -- Mikey, look at me. Do you recognize me?"

It became quiet for a moment. All eyes (invisible and not) were frozen to the spot where Mikey was found. Leo could feel the fear rising, the worry in Raph and the burning anger over the situation growing in Donnie. But then he felt clarity in Mikey, and the drowsy spell that had been cast over him dissipated.

"...D-Donnie...? Raph?" there was a sudden joyful gasp. "Leo!"

Leo blinked, expecting to feel or see something, a hug or a smile. There was nothing.

"L-Leo? Are you okay? Wait, why can't I touch you -- what happened, why are we... we..."

Mikey's voice softened as the memory came back.

"...Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, I --"

"You don't have to apologise, Mikey," Leo whispered, looking down at his hands.

"You know my name?"

"Yeah, I know who everyone is. But what happened to you?"

Mikey hummed quietly, groaning as he apparently sits up or stands with Donnie's assistance.

"I... I remember trying to lead the way out, but I went too far ahead. I almost made it to the next dream, but then -- then I forgot where I was, why I was there, I even forgot you guys, and the more I forgot, the s-sleepier I got..."

"That's why Draxum told us to stick together and stick with Leo," Raph reminded him. "We might've lost you. But we know what not to do now."

"You said you almost found the way to the next dream?" Donnie reiterated.

"Which way?" Leo's voice was filled with hope. He wanted to get out as soon as possible for his brothers' sakes. He couldn't bear the idea of them getting hurt because of him. Again.

Again? What --

"The way out is over there!"

Mikey's voice interrupted Leo's thoughts. He took in a deep breath before standing up and looking around. Up ahead, there was a small avenue that led to a cave tunnel.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive!" Mikey assured him. "A-although, somebody's gonna hafta carry me... m-my legs aren’t exactly working right now. I think I used up all my mystic powers."

"Raph's gotchya, big man," the eldest brother stated, noisily hoisting Michelangelo up and walking towards the cavern. "Come on, guys, we're halfway through this trial!"

Leo and Donnie followed after the duo into the cave. It grew dark, cold, clammy. Quiet and calm. Leo appreciated the calming atmosphere, as he felt anything but calm.

"You okay?"

"Are you asking because you can read my thoughts?"

"Guilty. Is it about what happened to Mikey?"

"Sorta. I mean, I'm upset over what happened to him, but mostly I'm scared. Is that what it's like when I enter a new dream?"

"So far, yes."

"And that means that soon, I'll forget again. I'll go full Groundhog Day."

"But we'll remind you of everything again."

"...But it hurts you," Leo whimpers. "I know it does. It hurt me to see Mikey so confused like that, even if it was only for a short minute. And I don't want to be stuck feeling alone anymore."

"We won't let you get lost, Leo," Donnie promises.

He can almost feel him take his hand, before realising it's just the hologram wrist tech he has yet to remove.

"But there's more... you guys aren't telling me something. You keep skirting the subject, avoiding things, pretending like there isn't an issue when I can clearly tell that there is!"

"We're just trying to not overwhelm you."

"Overwhelm me how? I mean, some witch or a crazy new mutant must've put a weird sleeping beauty spell on me, right? What could be more overwhelming than that??"

"...That's not what happened."

"Say wha?" Leo questions. "What does that mean --"

"Guys! Up ahead!" Raph shouts. "Do you see that light?"

Leo runs up ahead to see what Raph's commotion is about. As he does, a familiar drowsiness sets in. The light up ahead grows brighter, more vivid. Leo can hear noises and sounds like joy and excitement and cheering... The light soon becomes too bright and his eyes close to keep from going blind.

Leonardo emerges from the tunnel into a large arena, the walls painted black with red pillars and humongous skulls decorating them. The grandstands are filled with Yokai, each of whom looks like they'd have a warrant or a bounty on their heads. The dust blows around the ground as three spotlights are shone directly onto Leo's face, his body encased with armour fit for a gladiator. A screeching whine of feedback echoes over a series of loudspeakers before Big Mama's voice shouts over the commotion and applause of the bloodthirsty crowds.

"LADIES AND GENTLE-GERMS, I GIVE YOU... THE NEXT CHAMP-I-ON OF THE BATTLE NEXUS, NIGHTMARE EDITION!"

[pet-pet-peet]

Omg!!! Your latest post!! Its so freaking cute that I HAVE to request for part 2!! You don't have to write it. After that night, the reader start to have feelings for Lilia and they don't know what those feelings are so she start to avoid him again! Lilia got tired of this and did something that made her blush soooooo red!!! I hope you know where I'm going with this fluffy cloud plot!

P. S congrats!!

Thank yoouu! Omg this sounds so cute, I can’t even haha

* This is female reader, but I generally don’t use many gendered terms in my writing..just know that I’ll opt more for feminine ones if I add any (aka, probably good for anyone, but the occasional gendered term will be female)

I am trying to go through my drafts and post the ones I had done, this will not be inspired by canon!

Previous

Tw: shy reader, but not like super stuttery just very nervous and anxious; a bit ooc- but like…my simp heart, you can't blame me; kind of cheesy-

Pairing(s) Lilia x female reader who’s too shy to ask him to take her to the sky with him

It just wasn't fair- not fair at all. You would have imagined forming a bond with someone, who used to make you so timid, would cause more comfort. In your case, however, your true feelings began to sprout instead; they intensified the nerves. Anytime you were found by the fae, anytime he called out your name or lingered close, your heart lit abuzz. You couldn't shake the heat shrouding your nerves, the warmth in your face. It's grown to ridiculous levels, in your mind- just hearing his name caused you to cease functioning. As a result, you started avoiding him again. Ever since Lilia flew with you, he started talking with you more; walking you to your classes or dorm, passing notes via bat in history. You began to bond more and more, which is what originally caused your current predicament. Anything he did was enchanting to you, from his terrible cooking to his sly attitude when challenged. It made you feel like a stupid, cliche, lovesick fool; you didn't like it. You had enough to worry about. There were so many responsibilities you had to take care of, you didn't have time to fall in love. It was just a distraction, one you needed to distance yourself from. So you did just that. And it didn't go unnoticed. Lilia would patiently listen to your stuttered excuses, your reasons to not be around him. He would watch you turn a corner and immediately retreat back when you made eye contact with him. You began ignoring his notes in class, and cleverly found ways to avoid him on your way to your dorm. He didn't like it at all, but not because he craved your attention. He didn't like that you were holding in your emotions, he wanted to help you learn to be more open to how you feel. Most of all, he wanted you to communicate that with him over you avoiding him. "Gao~!" He yelled, appearing in front of you at the end of class, just before you could leave. He laughed at your little gasp of shock. "My dear, that was quite an adorable reaction! Perhaps I shall spook you more from now on?" You cleared your throat and avoided looking into his eyes. "Um..okay. I have to go, though..so.." Lilia frowned as he watched you fidget uncomfortably. He sighed, turning upright so his feet made contact with the ground. "May I inquire about your troubles?" You became noticeably more distant, making the old fae frown deeper. "Do they involve me?" You tense a bit, fidgeting with your hands before sighing and grabbing his. He allowed you to drag him away to a place with less people, patiently watching you after you let him go and took a deep breath. "It's just..that I've caught feelings.." You managed to get out, swallowing the nerves piling in your throat. Lilia hummed, "I see. I assume you mean for me, yes?" You nod in response and he begins to chuckle. Looking back at him, he has a sweet smile scrunching his face. "I'm very happy to hear you be honest with your feelings. Thank you for communicating with me, I cherish such trust wholeheartedly," to emphasize his point, he put a hand over his heart. You become nervous at his response, feeling as though it didn't exactly give any insight into how he feels about you. "So..do you? Have feelings for me, I mean.." The anxiety you felt caused your voice to soften. There was a hum from Lilia as he put his hand on his chin and studied your reactions. Your eyes darted away from his observant ones and he chuckled once more. "My dear," He whispered, his breath suddenly close to your ear. You were certain he could hear your heartbeat quicken. "If you wish for me to help you dance among the stars, I shall. As such, if you wish for me to cradle your heart in mine, I shall do that as well." You turned your face in his direction, but he had already moved out of your view and picked you up from behind. His crimson eyes looked into yours with amusement before he kissed your cheek and slowly floated outside. "Shall we go on a quick flight then, love?"

[real-godzekiel]

Sorry. I am quite tired today from school so I'm just going to cut to the chase and not be too detailed.

Note that I will discuss topics relating to self harm and mental illness (mainly dermatillomania and trichotillomania, but also body dysmorphia and substance abuse disorder) in this post. I will also show footage of the show that have blood and are discomforting. I also know that this might be obvious to some people, but I felt the need to explain why I specifically think this way.

I think Mirror Man has dermatillomania and Wine Mom has trichotillomania. Here is why:

You may have noticed that I draw scars on Mirror Man's hands. These scars are based on the ones people like me usually get from picking their skin.

(In the past, I used to put trigger warnings on these drawings. But now, realizing that most of these images are not focussed on these scars at all, I find it weird to put a trigger warning for things that many people visibly suffer from. Then, I would have to put a trigger warning if I ever post a photo of myself experiencing daily life because there are scars on my hands. That's like putting a trigger warning for someone who visibly still suffers from a bone fracture because it triggers people who are afraid of breaking bones. It's stupid. So, I stopped putting trigger warnings for images of characters with scars unless the scars are the focus. I am sorry if this is upsetting to some people, so DM me if you are concerned about something like this.)

Mirror Man's whole identity, at least according to himself, is based on removing his own imperfections to be perfect. I know that I pick my skin usually because I felt that it was not smooth enough, although I did not necessarily want it to be smooth because of body dysmorphia. However, Mirror Man probably thinks it was awful that his skin has imperfections here and there and likely he tries to fix it using methods that are not healthy.

This is kind of canon in the original animated short:

Although this might an exaggeration for the visuals of his song, I think it is safe to assume that he goes beyond just fixing his body with safe surgeries and make-up. He sometimes draws blood from picking his body without a reasonable purpose aside from "Oh God. Oh God. This does not look good. This is upsetting to look at and it is my responsibility to fix this."

Also, there is the statistic that many people with body dysmorphia also have this condition. Although this doesnt mean Mirror Man has this condition just because he kind of canonically has body dysmorphic disorder, I think it makes it more likely for him to have it. There is also talks about dermatillomania's relations to OCD, but I don't know enough, honestly. I don't even know if I know enough about dermatillomania to make this post, except that I have dermatillomania which might make it excusable for me to make this post anyhow. I do not know if I have OCD.

Ok, onto Wine Mom.

This might be kind of a stretch because 1. It is not certain if I have trichotillomania because I do not pull my hair very often anymore. 2. There is no canonical proof of her pulling her hair.

So, it's really just a headcanon from what is implied in the short.

The most important reason why I think she has trichotillomania or at least some hair-pulling related problems is because of her hair:

It is very uneven. This might just be a way to convey how unkempt she is or even illustrate the effects addictions have on your hair, particularly hair loss. (It may also just be Stauber's style, which is also likely. LOL!) However, I think it is not impossible that she still has some problems with hair-pulling.

Wine Mom canonically has substance use disorders and likely suffers from depression, seen by her gloomy dialogue with Claire. She might have anxiety, too, but that is more "headcanon territory." Either way, this definitely makes it more likely that she has trichotillomania. I might also mention the "hold her hair" part in Virtuous Cycle, but that is more of a reference to her substance abuse disorder. Either way, surprising amount of emphasis on hair in Wine Mom's sections of OPAL!

What I'm trying to say is: something is wrong with Wine Mom's scalp. This is me self-projecting and I am so sorry if it sounds like I am not taking this seriously or going through these theories well. It is really a stretch, but yeah. Headcanons.

Pseudofolliculitis on Wine Mom's scalp.

Dandruff, and she scratches it.

Bald spots that she hides by covering them with her long hair.

Another big headcanon is I believe she may have started pulling her hair a while before her substance abuse disorder. I think that Wine Mom, as a teenager, was introverted and nervous. She might have been frustrated with her hair because it discomforts her skin, so she started pulling them out, which turned out to be satisfying to her. Usually these types of "habits" are gratifying because they provide a sense of relief after pain and triggers some kind of reward system.

Either way, yeah.

I think Wine Mom and Mirror Man has these mental conditions that I (likely) have because I love these characters and it makes me feel comforted to think about it. Also, I like seeing how others interpret fictional characters' mental conditions in a way that does not sound like "I think this character has (condition) because I like sounding smart and pretending to know a lot about mental health." This is because posts like mine, I believe, are more of "I headcanon this because I think it may be compelling and also I relate."

Okay. That's it. Good night guys.

[feralkwe]

I'm like. I'm sorry if your (op of that one posts) parents sucked or whatever but personally, as someone who's parents did somewhat monitor their internet activity and still track my location, I'm really grateful they did/do that??? It saved me from a lot of trouble and it makes me feel safer knowing that they can generally see my location 😭

i absolutely wish we lived in a perfect world where that sort of thing was completely unnecessary. and ofc there are terrible people who are abusive and controlling and a danger to their own children who would use privacy invasion as a tool for those ends. i would never dispute that.

but "there is no non-abuse reason" is an incredibly dangerous blanket statement that is not only reductive and unhelpful to the people that op thinks they are protecting, but flat out incorrect as well. i will not make assumptions about that person's life and whether or not they have been a parent, but it seems a safe bet they have never been in my situation, which is sadly not rare in the least. they would sing a different tune if they had been, otherwise they would be a shitty and negligent parent, which is as bad as an abusive one.

and no, i am not going to elaborate on what that circumstance or experience is/was. that is not mine alone to share. that is the place where my now adult child gets to have their absolute privacy. they get to decide who gets to know their story. people like that op and those who reblog their opinions are gonna have to trust me. if they don't, i can't help that, but i am unburdened by regret because i succeeded in my job despite the cost.

tumblr very much is the "parents are the enemy" website. i get it. many of us grew up with parents who made terrible mistakes, didn't know what they were doing was actually bad, or yeah, were outright abusive and controlling. but also many of us were just kids who had needs that were met by parents making decisions for our well being that we didn't like. that very much happens. that's part of the responsibility of being a parent/caregiver. we were unreliable narrators in many ways, through the ignorance that sometimes accompanies youth and inexperience. context matters, and it is an unfortunate truth that it is sometimes difficult fully have all of it.

i don't say any of this to excuse abuse or to diminish experiences. it's a fact that abuse happens. neglect happens. we should be vigilant in following up when things seem off. we should listen to children in order to ask the right questions to find the truth of a matter. there should, frankly, be more checks in place to ensure parents/caregivers are not abusing their power and that they do not get to treat children like property. we as a society, especially in the u.s. where "parents rights" is often code for "forcing a child to adhere to a strict set of religious rules that strips them of their human rights," fail children every day because we dismiss them outright and deny them their free will in situations where their will is absolutely harmless and even vital to growing and becoming full and independent individuals.

but also sometimes a minor child's free will stupid and is absolutely going to lead them to a deadly place, and it is absolutely our job as caregiving adults to step in and say "no" so they can learn and live.

there is a difference because we live in a world full of nuance, and "this thing is always an act of abuse" is unhelpful to the point of ignorance, absurdity, and yeah, danger. i would have been negligent as a parent had i acted any other way. i am beyond tired of seeing otherwise intelligent and reasonable people propagate such an unnuanced opinion uncritically, especially people who have never had to face those circumstances that i and many other parents have endured in the name of preserving our children's lives. i know they are well-meaning, but their experiences are not universal. it serves no one to pretend they are.

i sincerely hope they never have to face those things, but i'll be absolutely damned if i am going to be painted with their broad brush of ignorance because they have the privilege of their innocence.

[whumping-valentine]

🦌 Fawn and Hunter - Part 3 🦌

"Restless Nights"

Content: Paranoid whumpee, fear of being SAed, uhhh idk this is mostly setup for the next chapter which will be much more whumpy.

1,100 words

(Not) continuing on with my part-a-day challenge (to the fullest) but I'll try to get a part out on the regular! Congrats, you now know what I'm like as a content creator! Rule of thumb, if I ever say "I'll try to—" or "I will be—" you can count on me to never deliver!

However, in my own defense, I've been working my job a shit ton recently, and am also working on a 12 book series, and also working on the series for Valentine that I'll be posting here, and drawing a lot, so I'm pretty busy, lol. But as always, excuse my writing quality for this mini series, I just shit these out into Google Docs and then copy and paste them here.

With that said, I humbly bring you all part 3! The next part is where the whump is really gonna start coming through, so stay tuned for that (and the eventual off-the-rails plot I thought of at 3 am while trying to sleep)

       Fawn was in a state of shock, and they knew it, too. They didn’t feel very much besides the anxiety that coursed through their veins. They should be frightened, and feel disgusted. They should be crying, and panicking, and trying to find a way out. Yet all they could do was sit up right on the old dirty mattress, hugging their knees to their chest as they stared into the pitch black darkness of Hunter’s basement.

       Eventually they fell back against the mattress, hands over their chest as their heart beat wildly, yet they felt nothing. Not even tired. Sleep was nowhere near on their mind. All they could think about was their own stupidity. How they managed to walk right into a psychopath’s literal trap. Thoughts of the future wavered through their mind, and none of the scenarios were favorable.

       Were they going to be killed? No, Hunter alluded to it, but said they were too pretty, whatever the hell that means. Was that really the only thing keeping them alive? What if they accidentally piss them off? What if they grow bored of them? But… What do they even want with them in the first place? Something nice to look at? A pretty pet? Where they going to be raped? They didn’t even want to consider the thought.

       Fawn couldn’t hear a single sound other than the sound of their own breathing and heartbeat. They couldn't even see their own hands in front of them. There were no windows, no connections to the outside world. It was sensory deprived hell, and as the minutes ticked away they felt like they were going insane.

       They couldn’t take it anymore, and sat up, slowly getting up to stand on their one good foot. They wobbled and felt weak, but once they got their footing they slowly hopped to where they saw the light string. Reaching out blindly in the darkness, they felt it in their hands, and pulled it. A click rang through the air, and the basement was illuminated, albeit dimly, but they could at least see.

       The basement was full of all kinds of clutter, like tools, weapons, boxes, taxidermied animals, bones, fur rugs, and mounted animal heads. There were a bunch of spiders, cobwebs, and cockroaches scurrying around. Good thing they weren't afraid of bugs. At least they had some company.

       The mattress was torn and covered in blood and dirt. Lots of dried blood, actually. How many others were here before them? How many others spent their last nights on this same, tattered bed? It all felt too surreal. It couldn't be real. This was a horror movie, or a true crime documentary in the making, and they were the next subject. Why them of all people? Life isn't fair.

They began to carefully and quietly sift through the various things Hunter kept down there. Looking through the boxes, opening drawers, peeking behind furniture. Inside a metal cabinet were multiple folders and papers. The papers being....

       ...Missing posters?

First came confusion, then came the wide eyed terror and the sinking of their heart. In shock their shaking hands dropped the papers, and when they got their bearings, picked them back up, examining them.

       There were some from different places, but most of them came from the same nearby town that Fawn had just moved to. They could recall seeing some of them around town, or in newspaper ads. Even conversations with the locals about how people often go missing... The oldest one of the bunch was ten years ago. The most recent was only from 6 months ago.

       Fawn felt sick to their stomach. Asking how many people were here before them was supposed to just be rhetorical.

       Fawn grabbed a knife that was sitting on one of the tables, and turned out the lights. It was old and rusted, but just having a weapon in their hands at least gave them the illusion of safety. They clutched it tightly in both of their hands, sitting on the mattress. They were restless and anxious, with their wide eyes staring towards the door in darkness. They could hear the floorboards creak above them, and they hoped and prayed Hunter wouldn't come back down the stairs.

       Especially if they thought they were asleep.

       Though much like Fawn, Hunter wasn't able to rest their eyes, either. However, while Fawn's may have been from fear, Hunter was far too excited. They tossed and turned, but all they could think about was their latest victim. When they remembered they had a bag with them that they removed, they jumped out of bed immediately.

       Moonlight was shining through the trees, seeping into the decrepit cabin through cracked and boarded up windows. Hunter went to the kitchen and picked Fawn's bag up off of the floor, curious to rummage through their things.

       It was filled with snacks and water bottles. There was a change of clothes, a pocket knife, a book on plant identification, binoculars, and finally, they hit the jackpot. A phone with no passcode! Just who was their little Fawn, really?

       Their lockscreen was a photo of two cats cuddling, looking like they took it themself at a shelter. Much to Hunter's dismay, it didn't seem like they had any social medias, but they did have lots of things in their gallery!… though they were mostly just photos of animals. They couldn't find a real name or anything that was truly personal.

       It wouldn't matter much even if they did have socials, because there was no signal out here. It wouldn't connect to the internet. Maybe they had something in their calendar?... no, nothing. No birthdays or events, except for some things relating to the Animal shelter. 

       Their phone was so void of anything that it was almost frustrating. Either they didn't use technology much, or they had absolutely nothing going on in their life besides their volunteer work. I mean, they didn't even have a passcode, Hunter was disappointed, to say the least.

      A weak knock coming from the basement door startled them out of their dissatisfaction.

      "Uhh… Hunter?" A meek, muffled voice called.

      "What?"

       "I… have to pee."

      "Okay."

      "I need a bathroom."

       "No you don't. You have a change of clothes right here, you can change in the morning."

       "What?!" Fawn was appalled, "But—"

       "You should be happy you're alive and shut up. Piss on the floor and go to bed."

       "But—"

       "Piss on the floor and go to bed." Hunter repeated, much more stern. It was silent for a moment before quiet thumps could be heard limping down the stairs. Poor injured thing.

       Hunter had a feeling this recent capture was going to be quite an interesting one. They listen well enough, but don't seem to really grasp the situation they've found themself in. It wasn't a worry, that just meant training them was going to be all the more enjoyable.

       Hunter smiled.

       They were going to have fun tomorrow.

[whowantslovergirl]

An: so the request got deleted by accident 🤧 but it was basically Pope being with someone like JJ (reckless lowkey stupid etc.) and they get into an argument SO WHOEVER REQUESTED THAT IM SO SORRY and you said you loved my stories so you get major kisses

💋💋💋

Pt. 2 is out!!

Reckless

Pope Heyward x reader (reader is female with she/her pronouns)

warnings: established relationship, cursing (mostly pope), arguing, yelling, reader lowkey being an ass, OBX3 SPOILERS, takes place when they were trying to get Kie from singhs house, suggestive jokes, and i think that’s it hope you enjoy my lovers 🤍

outer banks masterlist

Summary: Pope doesn’t like his girlfriend basically sacrificing herself

posted: April 2,2023

“Words! Words!” John B whispered yelled at JJ when he was giving unrecognizable signals. “They’re right there!” He said pointing at the guards with crazy eyes. “Then say that!” Pope said. “For real Jay we are far enough that you don’t have to do stupid hand signals.” You told him while laughing. “Oh yeah? Well do you recognize this one N/N.” He flipped you off. “Yea I do actually. But do you know this one Jay?” You put your hand into an o shape and put it against your mouth while sticking your tongue in your cheek and mouthed ‘suck my dick.’

“Oh you think your funny!” He yelled. “Oh now you can yell JJ?” Then you guys started arguing. John B and Pope were trying to calm us down and Cleo and Sarah was just shaking their heads. This scary guy with a gun was looking in your guy’s direction.

“Guys stop!”

“Who is that over there? Show yourself or I shoot!”

“Shit” You said under your breath. You got an idea. You got dirt and rubbed it on your face and messed up your hair very quickly. “What the hell are you doing?” John B said with disgust. “Shut up Johnny.” You started to get up.

“Wait Y/N where are you going?!” Pope whispered to you. “Just trust me Popesicle.” You said with a wink. “I’ll give y’all the signal to get the hell out of here before we get shot.” Pope tried to grab your leg but you shook him off.

“Hurry up or I shoot!”

“Hi! Hey! Excuse me? Please don’t shoot!” You say pretending to be tired and holding up your hands. The man look at you with confusion.

“Who are you and tell me why I shouldn’t shoot?”

“Hi my name is Jewel like the smoking thing that looks like a flash drive.” He doesn’t look convinced. “I am just looking for Luke Armstrong. He kinda owes me for something.” You started waving in a ‘get away while you can’ manner. They picked it up very quickly. You can hear your boyfriend wanting to stay and not leave you but they pulled him to get away.

“What are you waving at?”

“Oh nothing it’s just a lot bugs right?” He just nodded. “I can’t say sorry enough. I just found the nearest building just to ask for directions. Can I go inside to your headman or something?” He just nodded and motioned his gun to go inside with him.

Sucker.

_____

“We have to go get her!” Pope yelled.

“Pope just- .”

“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down JJ?”

“Yelling ain’t gonna solve anything.” Cleo said rolling her eyes.

“Exactly Pope she’s smart enough to not get killed or anything.” John B said.

“Yeah that really helps asshole.”

______

“Mr. Singh this is miss Jewel she’s asking for directions to…”

“Luke Armstrong.” You finished his sentence.

You see Kie and put your finger on your lip to tell her to shut up. She nodded then you saw Rafe. Wait Rafe?!?! “The fuck is he doing here.” You mouthed. She just shrugged. Mr. Singh noticed this and looked at you then Kie then back at you.

“Do you two know each other?”

You shook your head. “I’ve never met these people in my life.”

He just nodded and told the guard to take you to a bathroom to freshen up.

_____

You freshened up and hid behind the wall where Kie was.

“One of you have a diary I want.”

“Fuck!” You said a little bit too loud.

“Are you done Miss Jewel?”

“Oh yes! Yes ! Thank you so much!” You said with a smile that looked like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.

“It’s not a problem Miss Jewel.” He said with a pleasant smile.

“Thank you so much for hospitality. You have a wonderful home.” You said smiling and went out the house.

“Mr. Armstrong is on the other side of this wall by the way.”

You just nodded and left.

They didn’t suspect shit.

You walked to see a message that said ‘go straight til you hear your name.’ You rolled your eyes.

JJ thought of it.

_______

“Y/N!” You heard your name and started running towards the noise.

Everyone saw you with a smile on their face. Well expect Pope for some reason. “How did you get out N/N?!” Sarah asked you with a smile. “Oh you know just sucked his dick and he let me go.”

Everyone looked shocked.

“God! I’m just kidding he just let me go.” You said laughing. They all let out a sigh of relief.

You told them that Singh is looking for a diary. While you were explaining what happened you see Pope walk from the group.

“Hold on guys I’m gonna check on Popesicle.” They nodded and you went.

“Hey baby what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?! Did you seriously just ask me that Y/N!” Oh he never yelled before. “Ok the yelling isn’t necessary and yeah I did Pope. What’s wrong?”

“Jewel is looking for Luke? Really Y/N”

“Good thinking huh?” You smiled. Completely clueless on what the actual issue is. “You could have gotten killed! And that joke was not funny!” Pope was still yelling.

“Again the yelling, not necessary and I didn’t see?” You say spinning around. He rolled his eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me? You never take shit seriously! You think everything is a fucking joke Y/N!” Ok that was hurtful. “Pope nothing happened! And I can take shit seriously.”

“I can’t believe you would do something so stupid!”

_____

“Oh shit he’s madddd.” JJ said to the group. They all nodded. “I’ve never heard him so angry.” Sarah said. “That’s because she always does stupid shit like this. One time she threw a net at some guys who were shooting at us and got shot in the arm.” John B said with a smile.

“Oh yeahh. Yeah Pope went bezerk and shit.” JJ said also smiling.

“Is this really the time? Just listen to them yell.” Cleo said.

_____

“Pope it’s not that big of a fucking deal! Im fine just move on!” Now you’re yelling.

“You always do stupid shit like this! You never think before you act.”

“Oh I’m sorry that I’m not you Pope. I couldn’t give two fucks what the consequences are!” You say rolling your eyes.

“And that’s the problem! I can’t keep second guessing everything you do! Or worry when your not by my side Y/N! I’m done!”

You’re shocked.

“So you’re done? You’re breaking up with me right now?! I saved your asses! I risked my life and this is how you act!” He didn’t say anything.

“You know what? Fuck you Pope! If you wanna be done over me being a good friend and a good person then we’re done!” You walk away and he followed.

____

“Well that doesn’t sound good.” JJ said. “Just act like you didn’t hear anything.” They pretended to have a conversation. You say next to Sarah and Pope sat next to JJ. Awkward silence filled the room.

“I know this a bad time to mention this but while y’all were you know. I was texting on the dude who kidnapped us phone and I think that Singh caught on and he’s going to be here in ten minutes.”

What the fuck.

An: YALL this story>>>>>> My first Pope one was absolutely ass but THIS ONE OH MY but i hoped you enjoy this and again whoever requested this im sorry again you get kisses 💋 but until I post again my lovers 🤍

[xoxovampira]

listen the fuck up, i think (HOPE) all of yall are antifa on here, but for WHATEVER REASON, the only time y'all care about fascism is when it happens in countries you know a lot about. I'm tired of the only political shit discussed being America or some fucking western European country.

there's a very prominent neo-nazi party in georgia (WHICH MY CLASSMATE IS A PART OF????), with extreme conservative and puritan views. see the armbands and the flag in the back? that's the georgian neo-nazi symbol. don't ask me why the faces are blurred, my source for this is the nazi classmate himself, and he blurred it.

brief summary of how this sorry excuse of an organization formed: they broke into a nightclub because "DANCING IS SINFUL", destroyed the club obviously, beat up everyone who was there (girls, guys, university students, bartenders, EVERYONE). where was the police, you may ask? one of them was drunk and JOINED these shitheads, the rest showed up hours later for "unrelated reasons" and pretended none of it happened. you'll see that cops doing jack shit will become a reoccurring theme in this post. this all branches from the extreme upholding of "orthodox christian values" - they're doing all this in "God's name", AND THE CHURCH SUPPORTS IT. obviously, fascism in Georgia existed even before these fucking cunts, but they're growing stronger and recruiting more people these days.

SO, WHAT PROMPTED ME TO MAKE THIS POST? these days, they've gotten more physically aggressive. here are some examples:

they asked a random guy in the streets about his opinion on fascism, when he said he doesn't like it (FUCKING OBVIOUSLY), they beat him up (the police did JACK SHIT and pretended that the part security cameras glitched out WHEN THE NAZIS LITERALLY FILMED A VIDEO OF THEM DOING IT)

they killed a dog and kept beating it after death, and they beat up cats in the street (they filmed these as a video too)

they beat up the leader of a governmental organization Girchi, which is the most progressive party we have right now (with anti-governmental, anti-russian, and antifa anarchistic ideologies)

the Girchi leader was supposed to hold a lecture about politics for kids and uni students at a summer camp thing, and the nazis ATTACKED THE CAMPSITE AND THREW STONES AT PEOPLE.

update on the first one: an armed man in civilian clothes entered his HOSPITAL ROOM, some women tried to stop him, TURNS OUT HE WAS A COP, AND NOW THE POLICE IS PRESSING CHARGES FOR "ATTACKING A POLICE OFFICER"??????

1 - They didn't know he was a cop, 2 - they didn't even attack him just tried to stop him from going to the kid's bed because he was a threat, 3 - HOW THE FUCK ELSE WOULD YOU REACT IF A STRANGER WITH A GUN ENTERED YOUR KID'S HOSPITAL ROOM AND TRIED TO GO NEAR HIM?????

anyways, this shit is scary. the nazi party is recruiting minors, like my classmate, so that if they ever get arrested, the minors will have to be released because OBVIOUSLY nobody's gonna HAVE A 14 YEAR OLD ROT IN PRISON. even if they were all adults, as i mentioned, the police don't care, because they're doing this in the name of Christianity. they're posting xenophobic, homophobic, conservative and very christian nazi bullshit so that they can make people believe that they want what's best for people, BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT THE MAJORITY OF GEORGIA SHARES THOSE IDEOLOGIES. their name is literally "Geo National Unity" TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THEY'RE DOING THIS TO "HELP" US. EVEN IF THEIR IDEAS WERE MORALLY CORRECT, WHY THE FUCK AREN'T THEY BEHIND BARS FOR WHAT THEY'RE DOING??

i know I'm not the most coherent source of information, i know this just looks like a stupid rant, but this information isn't accessible in English, which means NOBODY OTHER THAN US GEORGIANS KNOWS WHATS GOING ON. the later this shit stops, the more fascists there'll be in Georgia, because no one wants to put a stop to this. cops are fucking pigs, as always.

I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS. I'M TIRED OF SEEING SWASTIKA GRAFFITI ON WALLS AND SCHOOL DESKS. I'M SICK OF FEELING THREATENED JUST BECAUSE I'M OPENLY ANTI-NAZI AND SOMEWHAT OPENLY QUEER. I'M SICK OF RELIGION BEING AN EXCUSE FOR THESE FUCKING DEGENERATES. NOBODYS DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I'm sorry for getting fucking emotional on a post that's supposed to be informational, but SOMEONE had to fucking say it. progressive people in non-western countries are in fucking hell, because nobody acknowledges any problems in places that doesn't concern them. anyways please fucking reblog this, for awareness and for help and what-fucking-ever. thank you for reading.

[evelina18-6-blog]

(this is so long, i am so sorry)

i understand why the artist was offended because your post made some pretty strong if not aggressive arguments, and i'm sure some assholes took the opportunity to send that person anon hate which probably made it feel more like a personal attack than it actually was, but i am honestly so sick and tired of people using their real life trauma as an excuse for every single thing. i may not have some deep, life altering trauma but i have my own issues and experiences and i too use fiction and art to cope but here we're not just talking about fiction and art, hell we're not talking about fiction at all. the ethics of shipping real life people are already questionable enough and i don't think there's a clear cut and dry answer but taking someone so repulsive, so downright dangerous, as Vargs and not only making cute artworks of him a if he's your casual anime boy, but also shipping him with a person who hated him, is inexcusable. just saying that you don't like or support Vargs is not enough when you have practically dedicated an entire account to making fanart of him. the Mayhem community is already messy enough and by doing that, they downplay what a piece of shit Vargs is and the pain he caused. (no matter how unintentional). also can we talk about Pelle for a moment? claiming to like him and pair him with such a horrible person? using him as a prop and completely ignoring his real life relationships and beliefs? how is that fair? people are already infantalizing him enough because of his mental illness and possible autism. how about realizing that Pelle is not a prop? that he was a person who deserves respect and that drawing him in the embrace of his friends murderer, is not being respectful to say the least? what about Oystein? no one seems to want to address were Olystein fits in this situation at all, why? was he not the person affected the most by Vargs? was he not his victim? putting his friend with his murderer feels like a huge fuck you to him. overall, painting someone in a positive light and later going 'lol im just kidding' is not good enough. Vargs (amongst others..) has spend the majority of his time insulting, belittling, even sexualizing Oystein, in an attempt to ruin his legacy and he has mostly succeeded because he's surrounded by cowards like himself who don't have the balls to stand up and speak the truth. the first thing people come across when researching Mayhem is the same bullshit about what a ''terrible'' person Oystein was and how he ''needed to be stopped''. this is the narrative Vargs has created and if you don't care enough to look deeper, you'll end up believing his lies and blaming a dead person. therefore such artwork, that completely rewrites the history and relationships of these people, can be very dangerous because it can actualy help Vargs into better selling his stupid narrative. i'm not saying that this particular artist is a bad person or that they're lying about their trauma or any bullshit like that, but art affects real life and the moment you post sth online you've opened yourself to criticism. do these Vargs/Pelle fics have more depth than initially presented? maybe. maybe they truly are a great psychological analysis of Vargs (although i don't understand why the hell you'd want to touch that with a ten-foot pole) but you can't blame people for not seeing that. whenever i see fanart of a ship, i don't sit wondering what the artist wants to say with their piece, i either like it bc i like the ship or i don't. if this is your copying mechanism, fine. can't criticize someone's copying mechanisms without sounding like an asshole i guess. but my advice is that maybe people need to take a better look at themselves and see how their interests affect others as well. you can do whatever in your own time but when you post it online it contributes to sth bigger whether you like it or not.

Don't worry about the length of your messages. I like that you elaborate. I agree with everything and thank you for your message. I honestly don't understand when this person says that she is NOT a fan of Varg, or that she doesn't like him and makes fun of him. I haven't seen anything mocking. I've only seen a great idealization of the young Varg, who was a horrible person, more violent than the current Varg. And a certain idealization of the "wonderful" intellect of the current Varg. I'm sorry to say that "the mockery" is poorly done. Like when you have to explain a joke, if no one understand it, it's because it's done poorly. About Pelle, I liked this: "claiming to like him and pair him with such a horrible person? using him as a prop and completely ignoring his real life relationships and beliefs?" Yes, that's why I said Pelle is not a ball that goes from here to there. I also agree that no one seems to think what's going on with Euro in this situation. In my case, it is almost the first thing that shocks me, it is a double offense towards him. That's why I wonder if there is something, deep down, against the Euro. Because romanticizing Varg SO MUCH, yes or yes, for me, brings with it some kind of sympathy for his ideologies, therefore, some kind of resentment towards Euro. When people attack Euro, they generally resort to two things: lies about the mistreatment of Pelle, and his political inclinations, painting him as an authoritarian extremist fanatic. And therefore, Varg as a person who was encouraged to go further and do "something that many would want to do." Varg is a failure who does not know how to value the only good thing in him, his musical talent. He did not know how to value the influence of Euro and the environment in which he found himself. Now he is a clown who needs to resort to ridiculing himself on the internet to stay current, so that his morbid followers consume him "as ironic consumption." It's an internet phenomenon. And he is free only because the Norwegian prison regime is very soft. I think he should be under psychiatric treatment because he can't stop being a bad influence, even on his children, or they should send him to hard labor, so that he can channel his anger through physical labor instead of the internet. Perhaps the girls who draw Varg romantically and the people who are big fans of him beyond his music do not specifically have his same ideologies, but they admire him in some way, and it is clear that his systematically offensive attitudes are not enough to stop them and scare them away I sincerely feel that they see him as a master. I see Varg as the typical cult leader, and I feel cringe at the adoration they profess of him. "i'm not saying that this particular artist is a bad person or that they're lying about their trauma or any bullshit like that, but art affects real life and the moment you post sth online you've opened yourself to criticism." What you said sums it up. I don't doubt that this girl could be harmless in real life, and that she has traumas and that her art and fanfics help her in her introspection. I fully believe her when she says it, but the debate does not end with whether something is therapeutic or not. It is up to her to choose what things to express her art on. She don't lack talent, why do you choose Varg? That's what's shocking, I mean, it's shocking that she brings Pelle into this and twists history to support her capricious ship and celebrate that more and more people join her ship. There you can see that she doesn't do it for herself, she wants more people to romanticize Varg and have the vision of Pelle that she has, which, in my opinion, is a bit humiliating and objectifying.