#i am very excited to be done with this island and have it saved on a lovely rainy day☁️🌥️☔️

[nordsea-horizons]

come visit the island on a rainy sunday afternoon☔️🌾

[date-a-jew-suggestions]

Missouri was my home, and I can’t go back because I’m trans.

Before the rest, I want to clarify: I do not get my hrt through a Missouri healthcare provider. This will not impact my medical transition, and I am so very lucky to not have to worry about that. Many, many transgender people living in Missouri do not have that luxury. However, I am hurt, and I am scared. I was not intending to move back to Missouri, because I am a lot happier where I am now. However, I’m very scared about the precedent that this sets. Missouri is the first state to pass legislation that restricts access to medical transition not only for minors, but for ADULTS. I would be very surprised if this was where their anti trans legislation stopped. Based on how they seem to be leading the charge against transgender rights in this regard, it seems very likely to me that within the next few years, trans peoples rights to public spaces in Missouri will be legally restricted. If this happens, I will not be able to visit about half of my family members.

The rest of this post is me coming to terms with that.

I flew to my home city, St. Louis Missouri for Pesach recently. I was so excited to spend the holiday with my family. Several members of my family were unable to get off work/school on the actual holiday, so I flew home on Easter weekend and we had our Seder on Easter. This is because in the USA, Easter and Christmas are federal holidays that get automatic off days, unlike Jewish holidays. The Seder happened at my grandma’s house and my entire extended family was invited, as is our family tradition. I had a lovely weekend with my family.

While I was visiting, I stayed in my grandparents house. Growing up I spent nearly every weekend there. My grandparents have always done their best to make me feel at home there. I have countless memories at that house of Shabbat with my grandma, playing games with my cousins and sister, climbing the big tree in the backyard, play dates with friends, doing all sorts of arts and crafts projects with my grandma, teaching myself to use a sewing machine on the living room floor, playing d&d in the basement, and big extended family gatherings for every Pesach, Rosh Hashanah, and Yom Kippur every year. It is one of the places that makes me feel the safest out of any place on earth. I would consider it my backup home. And as always, our Passover Seder was amazing.

This trip home coincided with my parents selling the house I lived in until I was 18. This has been in the works for a long time, so it did not come as a surprise to me. Even so, both my grandma and grandpa reassured me repeatedly throughout the weekend that I would always have a home at their house. That I could always come back, to visit or stay as long as I need. That this place would always be my home.

One of the things I did while I was staying there was make sure I had copies of all of the family records that my grandma had saved. Things like family trees, Ellis Island immigration records, death certificates, writings of long deceased relatives. I want to preserve as much of our family history as I can, because too much Jewish history has been destroyed by those who hate us. I already knew that my family has lived in the same city in Missouri practically since they immigrated, I think it’s something like 4 generations. Looking through these documents and reading things the previous generation of my family has written was fascinating and deeply moving to me. It cemented in my mind the fact that my family history is completely intertwined with the St. Louis Jewish community.

And of course, the synagogue I belonged to growing up is in Missouri. Where I spent the high holy days, where I was bat mitzvah’d, where I went to hebrew school every week. My Hebrew school teachers. My rabbis. I’ll be visiting it soon for my cousins Bat Mitzvah, and I’m hoping I might get a chance the day after to sit and talk with my rabbis. I feel like I need to say goodbye to them.

I can’t go back to any of these things. It has taken me a long time to write this post because this is so painful for me. I love my family so very dearly, and I have a big family. My cousins were like extra siblings to me growing up, I’m close with all of my second cousins and their partners and kids, my aunts and uncles, my great aunts and uncles, and my great grandparents when they were alive. I don’t go back to St Louis for the city, I go back for them. My grandparents have lived in St. Louis for their entire lives, and they aren’t going to move. Nor do I want them to have to, they’re so happy there. They have carved out a very comfortable and safe place for their family and friends. It’s just not a place I will be welcomed in for much longer, and that is out of our control. They will travel to visit me once in a while, but I know that me not being able to visit Missouri would drastically cut down on the time I can spend with them. And realistically, they are getting old. I don’t know how much longer cross country travel will be safe and feasible for them.

My family took a long time to get on board with my transition, largely because they were lied to by politicians and mental health “professionals” who were unqualified to treat transgender patients. I don’t want to spend too much time talking about that. To me what matters is that they unconditionally support me as a trans man now, and even though they were misinformed and said and did things that hurt me, they have always loved me. And they have made an incredible and effective effort to not only apologize for the harm they caused, but to change the way they treated me in order to express that love. My grandpa, previously the most old fashioned, socially conservative, and transphobic member of my family, will now call me to say things like “the other day this meshuggenah tried to tell me trans people are dangerous, I told him my grandson is transgender and to shut the fuck up. You shoulda seen the look on his face.” My grandma and mom both flew across the country with me to help me prepare for and recover from my top surgery. I could not have asked for better people to care for me post op.

Despite how supportive they are now, it’s only fairly recently that I’ve repaired my relationship with my family enough to enjoy spending long periods of time with them. It is still hard for me to talk to certain family members because I am trans. But the last few trips home have been the first times in a long time I have had a wonderful time with my family, which is something I missed and needed for so long.

I think that is going to be taken away again very soon. And it’s being pushed by the very same people who lied to my family and drove a wedge between us in the first place. This time it is out of our control.

To say I’m heartbroken would be an understatement. It’s hard for me to even conceptualize the concept that my ability to see my family is being slowly taken from me by the Christian zealots in our government. It feels like just now that I’ve been fully accepted and embraced, I’m being forced out again. And once again, it is under the guise of protecting people like me. They expect me to believe that this is for my own good. That all of the bullying and abuse and dysphoria I was forced to endure for my entire childhood was for my own good, because g-d forbid I be transgender and happy.

I had to move across the country to escape unsafe living conditions caused by white Anglo Saxon Christians, and now I’m uncertain of my ability to visit the family members I left behind. Ironically, this is a very Jewish experience. I imagine this is a much smaller version of the pain my ancestors felt when they immigrated to America and left their family behind in Russia and Poland. In a way, this experience connects me to my Jewish heritage in a profoundly painful way.

This was a long and rambly post. I’m just hurting a lot right now, and I needed to talk. Thank you to anyone who read this far.

[magenta-somethings]

What's your take on the new absolute universe? I'm curious as to whether you envision an absolute timkon (or like slightly different but still same vibes kind of pairing) and if so, how you'd explain/justify it.

Thanks for this ask, because it really sent me down the rabbit hole. I hadn’t even thought about Absolute!Timkon before this and now I have Thoughts. So many Thoughts. I’ve been doing nothing for the last two hours but having Thoughts. I’m even been driven to using capitalisation.

I’ll admit, I was a little skeptical about the Absolute Universe, but I was actually really impressed with Absolute Batman #1. If I’m correctly understanding what they’re doing with the Absolute Universe (which I’ll discuss more later), I’m excited to see more, because its optimism masquerading as cynicism and I think that’s fun and interesting and I appreciate so much more than just a dark, gritty take on the characters (which can be fun and interesting! But in small doses).

Also. I am not immune to woman with sword bigger than her. (Absolute Wonder Woman, save me.)

Rought outline of this post: my understanding of what the philosophy of the Absolute Universe is —> some analysis of mainline!Tim & how he could be translated into Absolute!Tim —> some analysis of mainline!Kon & how he could be translated into Absolute!Kon —> some ramblings about Absolute!Timkon & Absolute!YJ

[disclaimer: this is based on the comics I’ve read (Superboy (1994), Young Justice (1998), about 50% of Robin (1993), a fair number of modern comics) & what analysis I’ve seen of comics I haven’t yet read, as I’m just about to enter the Teen Titans era of my Kon (& Tim) readthrough. Also, Absolute Universe is obviously very new, so I am working off of limited evidence.]

[also. Spoilers for Absolute Batman #1]

So let’s dive into my understanding of what the Absolute Universe (AU) is trying to do.

These are Absolute Universe’s taglines:

Without the mansion…without the money…without the butler…what’s left is the Absolute Dark Knight! Without the island paradise…without the sisterhood that shaped her…without a mission of peace…what’s left is the Absolute Amazon! Without the fortress…without the family…without a home…what’s left is the Absolute Man of Steel!

So, the philosophy seems to be stripping superheroes of their ‘support beams’ (emotional, physical and philosophical), to force them to rely on a single essential part of their character. With Absolute!Bruce, based on issue #1, that seems to be his dedication to Gotham. And also bat-related trauma.

However, it’s not as straightforward as ‘characters are worse off’. The Absolute Universe taketh, but it also giveth. Absolute!Bruce isn’t an orphan—his mother is still alive, and still very much in his life. He also has a friend group! They’re his rogues gallery in the mainline, which probably doesn’t bode well for their relationships, but still! However, while this is giving something to Bruce, it can still be seen as taking away something from Batman—his isolation and his orphanhood.

Absolute!Bruce doesn’t—and never did—have his wealth, Alfred or his orphanhood, which leaves him with only his dedication to Gotham. And that’s enough for him to still become Batman.

From the promotional material I’ve read, AU (and damn, that acronym is going to be confusing sometimes) is all about appearing dark, so that light can ultimately triumph. It’s about the characters becoming heroes, even coming from circumstances which, by rights, shouldn’t lead them to becoming heroes. And that’s mainly done by worsening them circumstances, but also at times improving them.

So, what would this mean for Absolute!Tim & Absolute!Kon? What essential part of their characters would still drive them to become heroes, even with everything else stripped away?

Both of them are characters concerned with legacy & their responsibility to said legacy. In the process of writing this, I’ve realised there’s actually some very interesting similarities & differences between their characters in regards to this but that’s (mostly) for another time. What is important here, is that they did not invent the symbols on the chest. They inherited the legacies, and that means their drive for becoming heroes is fundamentally different to Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman’s.

For Mainline!Tim, I’d say that just as Bruce is dedicated to Gotham, he’s so, so dedicated to the symbols of Batman and Robin. He values them to the extent that when he thought Bruce & Dick were faltering in their roles, he stepped in and—when Dick didn’t want to take up the mantle of Robin again—ended up committing his life to Robin. It’s a duty he chose but one he now can’t abandon even after he has to make sacrifice after sacrifice. [sidenote: I haven’t read his not-Robin era of Robin 93 yet but my understanding is that a large part of why he did give up the mantle is to fulfill his duty as son (i.e. to obey his father)]. And so when he’s kicked out of the Robin mantle, it fucking stings because he’s sacrificed so much for it.

So, for Absolute!Tim, I think the commitment and duty to Batman & Robin has to be what stays. Which means what I think the ‘support beams’ that go is everything he ends up sacrificing/losing over his series — his parents, his friends, his life as Tim. Or, in other words, he starts the series as an orphan. Sorry Absolute!Tim, Absolute!Bruce has used up the living parent allowance. What could be interesting is if Tim is also introduced as having a more criminal/villainous background, since mainline!Tim’s background is respectable, upper class (akin to Absolute!Bruce’s background change), only for him to see Batman and be a convert to the cause. That even without a background where he's raised with the standard lessons on the importance of responsibility and being a good person, he still ends up committing himself to the duty of being Robin. [edit: to be clear I do mean villainous rather than low-income, because he would still receive those lessons--probably even more so--if Jack and Janet were simply poor]

I also think he wouldn't have seen Dick's parents fall. Yet he would still come to believe in the symbols of Robin and Batman even without that formative experience. Again, I'm picturing him, in his teens or even older, seeing Batman and/or Robin solving a crime (maybe even his own crime! or one he's at least an accessory to) and becoming a believer.

For Kon, the ‘S’ symbol wasn’t even something he was born into, but was *created for*. He’s desperate to prove himself worthy of the ‘S’ because, otherwise… what worth does he have? And that feeds into the other large part of his character, which is that the world doesn’t seem to have a place for him. He was created to be Superman, but then Superman came back. He lived in Hawaii but then Hawaii didn’t want him, there was Cadmus but then Cadmus had to disappear, he tried to make a home in Suicide Slum but that didn’t work out. The Ravers & then Young Justice broke up. For a time he has the Kents and Teen Titans but then he dies, and then is brought back just in time to be erased from existence. Only to be brought back into a world where Superboy was someone else & there’s *two* Superman (one being the former Superboy) & only like ten people remember him. That was a bit of a tangent but, basically, I’d say his relationship to the ‘S’ is being born for a legacy that ended up not really having room for him, and him having to struggle to make that space for himself.

For Absolute!Kon…. honestly I could see a couple different approaches. Despite what I said earlier about him being ‘born’ into the mantle being important, it could be interesting to see a Kon who chooses to take up the mantle more akin to what mainline!Tim did. Maybe a middle ground of Kon being created as clone, but given a normal, well-adjusted life where he’s unaware of his origins, with an adopted family who loves and supports him, & then him choosing to become a hero & try and forge a place for himself within the Superman legacy even though he already has a place in the world. Which I think is also funny because it would be a complete inverse of what’s happening with all the other Absolute characters. They’re all ‘would X character still be X without their support systems?’ while this is ‘would Kon still be Kon *with* a support system (from the get to)?’ Basically, really leaning into the logic of Absolute!Bruce still having his mother, where what drove Kon to be a hero was that he had nothing else, so why would he become Superboy if he has a life as Kon/Connor? And in asking that question, what is revealed as the essential part of Kon’s character is that he *cares*. He cares so, so much. Throughout his solo, a lot of his suffering comes from his repeated ‘screwing up’ (in quotes, because damn, a lot of it was just him being a kid) because it leads to people getting hurt, and he *cares*.

To be honest, initially I was thinking more ‘what if Kon wasn’t a clone but still struggled to find his place within the Superman legacy?’ but I’m actually liking the idea of ‘Kon is a clone but was given a normal childhood’ way more.

So! What would be the implications for Timkon? I think this would be fun because it would flip some aspects of the Timkon dynamic, where Kon is the one who has a pretty normal home life while Tim is the one couch-surfing, while reinforcing others, like Tim being the more obviously obsessed one (since he’s going to have fewer people to care about) while Kon is a bit more lowkey about it (but ends up equally devoted). This is also a Tim who would, in fact, be a lot more morally grey (kind of starting at his lowest points in Red Robin, with the possibility of going up or downhill) than this Kon, which could be interesting! Kon is, at his core, a kind person, one who believes in redemption and second-chances; he often extends his hands to even villains, asking if he can help them and trying to convince them there’s a better way. So there could be an aspect of Kon trying to get Tim to be more traditionally heroic, while Tim tries to get Kon to be more realistic about the darker setting they’re in; a weird parallel to Mainline!Tim trying to get Mainline!Kon to be more serious/responsible in the 90s era.

I also think in this universe, Kon might outright open his home up to Tim, after finding out he doesn’t really have a life outside Robin. And Tim would be Bewildered by this. Like I don’t think this Kon would be strict with his secret identity, even though he has a legitimate need for one, and that would confuse this Tim, who doesn’t really have a secret identity but only because nothing in his life as Tim is really important enough to protect. And then Tim would end up having his turn providing support to Kon after Kon starts being hit with the Inherent Trauma of Being a Superhero. (The whole thing about not being super strict about his identity? Yeah. That would definitely come to bite this Kon in the ass.)

Basically, it’s a Timkon that wouldn’t be the same as Mainline!Timkon because its not the same Tim and Kon. But I still think there could be that same devotion, developed through years of friendship (and then lowkey romantic tension).

As for how they would meet, I imagine Young Justice happening but, like, it forms even more casually/unintentionally than YJ98. The core four (& ideally Cissie/Anita/Greta) just keep running into each other, and then start hanging out because it’s nice being able to be around other teens who Get It (especially since most of them are probably going to have even less of a home life than mainline), and they accidentally stumble into both a friend group (if I had my way, they’d basically be a queer found family) & an unofficial team. And Kon would just be very casual about inviting all of them to hang out at his place (which, again, confuses the others).

If you've read this far, thank you for indulging me!

[shukakumoodboard]

then ghost of tsushima au👉👈

@rkaln oh my god, i just realised i fecking forgot to answer your asks (and you too anon!) hkdskghdfkg. i swear i didn’t ignore you, im just a moron

so as an apology, this one is gonna be LONG. buckle up bro-mies. under the cut!

welcome to kels one sole attempt at a True Longfic. and when i say longfic, this one—if i can ever pull it off—i mean 200k+ to fit everything i want in it. JRR tolkien whomst?

anyway. this fic is yet untitled, though the favoured contender is bushidō. that being said, im not… sold on it? for some reason? but lets get onto the fic itself.

the fic plan is a heavily modified spin on the plot of the videogame ghost of tsushima, which follows the tale of a samurai named jin, adopted son of the jito of the island of tsushima, and his descent into dishonour in pursuit of saving his home during the mongol invasion of 1274. it’s, in my humble opinion, one of the best games ever made. when i say there were moments in this game that had me sobbing, with tears dripping onto hands clenched so tight to my controller i nearly broke it, i am not being dramatic in the slightest. aside from the truly brilliant plot, it has jaw dropping graphics and my favourite play mechanics of any game ever. everything in this game is awe-inspiring.

also you can pet foxes. just saying.

in this fic, lee takes the place of jin as adopted ward of the jito (hiashi) where he is effectively the “lesser” second son of the jito. first son, ofc, is neji :) to take you very briefly through the beginning, konoha (which takes the form of tsushima island in this universe) is invaded, though the invaders are, in this case, suna, led by rasa ofc. (งツ)ว

what i intend to follow is a long winded story of lee battling to save his captive family from suna, and what lengths he must go to in order to accomplish such a monumental feat, even if it costs him his honour. of course, the entire cast of thousands have roles to play—tenten, an assassin; kakashi and gai, former samurai with a painful understanding of the choices lee must make; naruto, hidden son of the former shogun, leading a band of ronin and desperately trying to bring his wayward friend sasuke home. sakura, a healer who wants to be a samurai in a time where gender roles work against her, inoshikacho working through the temples to secretly subvert the will of suna, and of course, the sand siblings, beleaguered children of a mad conqueror who work to subjugate konoha island… until, perhaps… an unlikely partnership forms. i hope it will come to no surprise that this fic is not safe for sasuke huehuueheuheuheuheeHUEUEUUHEUHUE

not only is this meant to be a long fic but its also meant to span years in time as well — so im really excited to build a universe this big. however, i wouldnt expect this to appear anytime soon. im not going to do anything public until i have a solid outline built for all my character arcs and at least a list of general scenes for chapters, and thats not going to be soon. i have three things i ABSOLUTELY want done in 2025 before i even turn my head towards this, and when i do, it will be a slow crawl of a process, especially because right now i’m also in my final 1.5 years of my doctorate, and that means all my writing juice is going towards academia lol. but one day, so help me, i will bring this fic out of my brain and onto paper!

of course, i won’t talk about a fic without sharing at least some bits, so here’s some snips from my longer-than-some-fics idea sheet! two scenes i have planned and the drafted words to a really melodramatic confession god gaara get yourself together thats ur enemy winkwonk

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 23 thoughts

we’re back!! and i appreciate the TW in advance about the sensitive content in this episode from a few followers. thank you very much for the warning! 🙏

but i’m excited to see what is going on today, and i’m sure it’ll be a doozy. let us read the episode description... now how do these agents keep getting involved in crimes that they didn’t commit??

must be CSM. i suspect him always. saves time.

(author's note post episode: woah.... so much happened... i have many questions... and i love mulder and scully very very very much <3)

anyway! let us begin!

okay, yes, i recall after watching the last episode, the beginning of this one started playing, and it was super creepy, and here we are again. very blurry, and it looks like stuff is on fire and warped.

yes, the garbled voices and samantha yelling to mulder as i had accidentally previewed before….. everything is flashing and weird sounding… i do not care for this.

despite being a grown man, when mulder looks in the mirror he sees himself as a child. must be a fever dream. 

they see their parents fighting??? mrs. mulder is saying something about “her baby”….

cutscene to a sweaty mulder on the floor!!! and not on the bed.

A BED?! where is he?? this is not his home!!

and his white shirt is covered in BLOOD??? he doesn’t seem to realize this at first!!!!

so he calls scully!!!! at 4:50 on the morning!!! awww poor girl was dead asleep... but she wakes up <3

he’s in a motel room in rhode island?!?!?!? he doesn’t know how tf he got there and whose blood is on him!!!!!

didn't he spend time in rhode island as a kid...

oh i’m invested…….. how does a guy get in this situation…. and what is scully going to do about it?????

whose blood is it!!!!

(cheering at gillian anderson in the intro)

NOW WHO PUT MY BOY IN THIS SITUATION!!!!!

at 6:15 AM scully is pulling into the rhode island motel. THAT is EFFICIENT!!! oh i know she was flooring it to get there so quickly. also it’s april now btw

she is, indeed, going very fast. 

his motel door is open…..  and the shower is running…. she’s yelling to him

(something very domestic about yelling to someone while they’re in the shower; it makes my heart melt a lil)

but what is less domestic is when he mumbles that he “can’t get warm”, and when she pulls the curtain open he’s curled up, shivering as he sits in steaming hot water!!! 

oh sopping wet poor meow meow…. what has been done to you???

she quickly deduces that he is in shock (medical doctor moment!!!) and turns off the water. she tells him to get dry and gets a blanket, and he emerges with just a towel wrapped around his waist, which is a shocking display of vulnerability- but we can unpack that later 

she’s absolutely shifting into doctor mode (perhaps my favorite mode of hers) as she asks him if he feels nauseous or dizzy and wraps him in a blanket, looking into his eyes, tilting his chin to glance at every angle of his face 

oh shit this is SERIOUS. she pulled out the “track my finger” and “do you know what day it is”, like this is going DOWN. i mean i KNEW it was going down with the bloody shirt and the curled up grown man in the shower. but a doctor is not playing around when they ask you what day it is.

the last thing remembers was talking to her on friday!!! and it’s sunday!!! and he was in his apartment!!! so how tf did he get here???

but he packed a change of clothes… or maybe someone ELSE did?? is it a red herring?? did someone kidnap him???

she quickly finds his gun and TWO ROUNDS HAVE BEEN FIRED???? WHAT!!!

(okay, i knew that was going to happen because i read the episode description, but it’s still wild!!!)

he doesn’t remember anything at all… and she sits down to explain he needs to go to the hospital now

“possibly the early stages of encephalitis”, she says, and oh man, i don’t even want to google that 

(but i did. eugh...)

“if this is an aneurysm, it can drop you in a second” <- she is telling him to listen tf up and GO TO A HOSPITAL NOOOOOOOOOW!!!

OHHHH HE FINDS SOMEONE NAMED AMY’S KEYS!!! WHO IS AMY?????

so he drove here and checked into the motel on saturday…. and there is a car is filled with blood in the parking lot!!!!! with a registration citing amy and david.

oh my GOD he won’t go to the hospital DUDE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? YOU COULD LITERALLY DIE AT ANY SECOND, WHAT GOOD ARE YOU GOING TO BE IN AN INVESTIGATION WHERE YOU’RE BARELY EVEN THERE??? WHY DON’T YOU THINK SCULLY CAN HANDLE IT ON HER OWN?? GODDAMN IT, LET HER TAKE CARE OF IT, I’M SICK OF YOUR BULLSHIT, YOU ARE JUST GOING TO BE A HINDRANCE TO ANY PROPER INVESTIGATION, YOU PISS ME OFF.

okay.

there are tons of photos with faces cut out??? carefully cut out by some guy who is dripping blood onto them. which is... unpleasant.

ohhhh they show up at amy and david’s house and the housekeeper doesn’t know where they are… this is not an auspicious sign. he asks to look at a painting?? maybe he went to the place in the painting before???

he knows this house… but he doesn’t know why. it’s the house amy grew up in and it’s ALL SHE PAINTS???? which is absolutely wild. they go into a room where she’s painted it over and over and over countless times. i mean, i appreciate, having a muse but this was just next level dedication.

it’s near his old summer house!!!! see, i knew rhode island would be relevant. 

scully is driving him around in his big leather jacket. they find the house, which is very much falling apart, BUT HE WINCES AND GRABS HIS HEAD!!!! OH GOD!!!

he’s getting visions from childhood of his parents screaming about orders, and it not just being him, and YOUNG CSM (!!!) it must be from when they learned samantha was going to be taken as insurance that his father wouldn't expose the project, and it caused his parents to divorce 

he wakes up on the ground with scully over him (ohhhhh…….) and she carefully props him up. and it was “some kind of clonic event” 

my heart does flips when she is doctoring. but don't worry about that.

“i feel… really… good right now” <- LMAOOOOO actually the funniest possible thing you could say after such an event happening 

but he proceeds ahead with investigating the house

ohhh the score is spooooky and suspenseful… oh my god, scully finds someone with a gunshot wound in her heart!!!!!!!!!!! it must be amy!!! and her husband who is dead nearby!!!!!

then who tf was the guy cutting out the pictures!!!!

the cops have arrived, and they want to speak to mulder, but scully says she refuses “to believe that you had any part in this” (and that’s what a bestie is for)

the detective is clearly not believing that the first time mulder saw the victims was when he walked into their house with their keys that he somehow had. which yeah. okay, it does look bad. but listen. sometimes things look bad that aren’t in reality.

scully refuses to let them take him down to the station!!! he is getting his ass to the hospital NOW!! even if the police take him, okay??? he is going there.

YEAH, YOU TELL THEM!!!!!

and scully wants to take a look at the bodies. she tells mulder do NOT say anything else to the cops. somehow i don’t think he will follow this advice.

scully has her doctorly gear on and oh. she’s snipping something from amy’s head. oh god. hole. in her head. not from gun. whewwww.

NASTY. NASTY BAD. shoutout props team, i repeat as my grounding mantra. do you think the actors ever gagged filming this stuff?

that was a lot. she wants two examinations on her and to know WHY they died. 

head. hole. not good. 

mulder has a bandage on his arm indicating he must have been discharged from the hospital, and his he's laying his head on the table as detective curtis brings him a paper bag. mulder looks very sad.

at first i thought the detective was bringing him lunch, which would be a surprisingly thoughtful gesture, and perhaps indicate a shred of humanity in him. but no. he says that what is in the bag reveals that mulder knew the victims AND that they were shot execution style with his weapon!!!

it’s his bloody shirt… the bloody shirt from before. with both of the victim's blood on it!!! 

oh man… he explains that he does not remember but then he gets read his miranda rights…. NOOOOOOOOOO MY BOY

he has his hands cuffed and is in the bright orange jumpsuit :( free him!!!

but scully comes in and says she’s going to get him out of there!!!! “you’re a doctor, not a lawyer, scully” <- mulder, heed my words: do not doubt her power.

wow… times have changed. scully had to explain what ketamine was to detective curtis. because it was in amy’s blood. had it aired today, we would not need such a disclaimer.

he's baffled because ketamine is a veterinary drug and hey, mulder? why the hell do you know that.

(ohhhh, he probably learned it in mind school back in oxford. i was wondering if he was the kind of rich where he had horses, and therefore knew about their treatments)

detective curtis sucks. they find k in mulder and he doesn’t even give a damn. rude as hell.

(he does that gesture with his head that means “let’s talk away from the others”) "scully, you don’t have to do this” <- LIKE SHE WOULD EVER *NOT* DO THIS???? AND JUST LET HIM SIT IN JAIL????

ohhhhh she straight up tells the detective that he’s jailing an innocent man…. read him for filth!!!!!!

WAIT!!! one of the other cops is the one who was cutting out all of the photos!!!!

he pulls out a gun and fires?? hey man. what's going on.

it takes medical scully .5 seconds to determine that he is dead. and this guy also has that mark on his head that amy had!!!

this officer, now deceased, had become a joke for believing in aliens and other such creatures. scully says that the cutting himself out of the photos speaks to mental illness… and she finds a magazine of abductees with amy on the cover!!!

so both amy and this other officer had a deep puncture wound that went to their brain, and she thinks that they knew each other…

mulder is writhing about on the prison floor, while he recalls CSM and his father arguing, and fleeing to find samantha. and he remembers his mother beating on his father’s chest, yelling “not samantha, not samantha”…. then he shakes on the bars and screams for the guard!!!!!!!

he spent all night demanding to talk to scully!!!! and he just recently shut up!!!! wow!!! that's determination!!!

he’s sitting in the prison cell… “i heard you didn’t get much sleep”, she says when she walks in.

and this make me so emotional. she wants him to be okay SO badly, and they do this thing where they act like everything is totally fine and chill when things couldn’t be worse, and it makes me teary. they're trying to preserve normalcy, but doing so with a grin as if to say, what even is normal anymore? it's part of their whole "saying so much with so little" th

he says he did not kill those people, and she believes him, and she’s gathered enough proof to support that. OKAY DETECTIVE!!!!!

the blood splatter on the shirt doesn’t match the point of entry of the bullets!! so then how did the blood get on there????

scully theory time: amy believed she was an abductee, and perhaps she had contacted mulder. and her repeated house paintings were evidence of the treatment she was undergoing. 

she believes they were suffering from “waxman-geschwind syndrome” (i love that she knows this <3), which leads to vivid dreams 

it is also called dostoyevsky syndrome because he had it!!! fun facts with scully <3

but now he needs to know why he was there and why he didn’t stop the violence with amy and david, because he’s mulder and of course everything is his fault. but also, i don’t blame him, because i would feel the same way if i learned something horrific happened in my presence and i could not recall it.

she has arranged for his arraignment, and scully parks haphazardly in the parking lot of the psychologist’s office where amy was receiving treatment. and they find his car!! covered in dust!!

they go to speak with dr. goldstein, who says he hasn’t met mulder before. 

dr. goldstein uses light and sound to access repressed memories, which sounds evil. “it’s unconventional but it’s not invasive” <- girl what would the FDA say?!?!?

(this show relies an awful lot on repressed memories. how do you even know if you have any of those?)

the doctor insists that he is very ethical and seems deeply offended at their implications that what he does is morally unsound, but scully looks deep into his eyes and said “i know what you do”…. ohhh girl what do you know!!!

OH!! mulder remembers coming here WITH amy!!! so the doctor totally lied to their faces. and scully says he GAVE amy and mulder the ketamine, and whatever else he did started the blackouts and seizures

see, this is interesting, because now we know that ketamine can be useful in medical treatment of mental illness, but clearly dr. goldstein was just playing mad scientist.

she asks why tf he would undergo those treatments, but bam!!! more mulder doubled over in pain, recalling his parents fighting. he falls to his knees

“i’m fine” “no, i’m not going to take that for an answer. you do not belong at work. you need to be somewhere where you can be monitored” <- YES TELL HIM!!!!!!! stop messing around!!!

(everyone cheered)

the height difference here is super visible and it looks almost like a foot between their heads and it’s soooo <3

“you are a danger to yourself and a danger to me” <- OHHHH yes. convince him to do it for your sake if he won't do it for himself.

OHHHH BUT HE DOESN’T WANT THE SYMPTOMS TO STOP!!! he says he’s remembering what happened after his sister was taken away!!

well, maybe we can remember from a hospital bed?

he asks for the car keys and she keeps refusing, and just when i think she’s going to give in and let him have them, she says they can go to his mom's house, “but i’m driving” and that’s right queen you do NOT let that man behind a wheel!!!!!

off to his mother’s house

surprise mulder visit!!! he is barreling right in. she seemed so happy to see him... but this changes.

“you’ve kept things from me, you’ve kept secrets from me” ohhh she asks scully wtf is wrong with him…

HE SAYS THAT TAKING SAMANTHA WASN’T THEIR CHOICE??? he wants to know what happened that night and he doesn’t want scully to hear…. damn, that’s crazy 

so they go in a room and he ACCUSES HIS MOM OF CHEATING ON HIS DAD WITH CSM??? okay, so i thought i was seeing hints of this in the past, but like. they could have just been friends, so i didn’t think that much of it. clearly there was some sort of fondness, the genre of which is yet to be determined.

he’s saying that she betrayed their family to do so, and she SLAPS HIM ACROSS THE FACE!!!

“who is my father?” “what do you want, to kill him again?” <- OH MY FUCKING GOD????

(this is absolutely WILD because we know how much of a momma's boy he is, how he hugs her and tucks her in bed and kisses her forehead and has doted on her ever since her stroke; to hear him say all of this is deeply shocking and indicative of how unwell he is)

she says she won’t answer any more questions and he’s bleeding from the forehead…. 

he snuck out and took the car??????? LEAVING SCULLY IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE?????

what are they supposed to talk about!!!!!!!!

he rolls up to dr. goldstein's office and asks what he did to him. 

“i did nothing wrong” “you put a HOLE in my HEAD” <- medical malpractice lawsuit is loading, but that line delivery killed me

turns out he put a hole in his head to electrically stimulate his brain?? and mulder says to do it again???

absolutely nothing should ever touch your brain imo, but what do i know?

he shoots mulder up with some k and lays him down, straps him into a contraption and turns it on. 

it seems he remembers his mother being choked?? but you can’t tell by who because everything is so distorted. WHO HURT HER??

now goldstein is strapping him down even more, and putting ANOTHER HOLE IN HIS BRAIN (!!!), and it’s reminding me of that terrible drill from scully’s abduction that kept inching closer and closer

when a ton of cops show up to arrest goldstein!!! he leaves behind a bloody seat, but no mulder??? where did he go!!!!!

scully is here now too and goldstein wouldn’t snitch so scully is off to question him. 

HOLY FUCK he won’t answer so she straight up GRABS HIM!!!!! until he says mulder said he was going to “exorcise his demons” 

(she was wild for that one but also entirely understandable. you don't lay hands on him around her and walk away unscathed)

SO HE GOES BACK TO RHODE ISLAND??? where the events of that particular evening that keep being replayed again and again in his head went down.

the house is surrounded by cops, and she explains that the officers must NOT SHOOT, and he needs immediate medical care, and she is going in, so watch tf out.

it’s so so so quiet as she walks in…. she starts to yell his name and he says “leave me alone, scully” (he's out of his mind but could still recognize her voice... something touching there)

she opens the door and he’s in some kind of trance??!

WHAT THE FUCK HE HAS HIS GUN????? near his mouth. oh no. oh no oh no oh no.

(the hallucination cgi that gets cut between these very serious scenes almost makes me giggle)

he turns the gun on scully and says “GO AWAY” oh my fucking god…

“are you going to shoot me, mulder? is that how much this means to you?” (he nods)

he’s not himself he’s not himself he’s not himself he’s not-

she tries to tell him that he’s on powerful drugs, and he doesn’t even know if those memories are his, and this isn’t the way to the Truth, and put down the gun, but then he FIRES TWO SHOTS???

the police are rushing in, and he is still firing!!!!!!!!

he shot them all into the window?? or wall or something??? and he slumps over

and she rests her body on him oh my GOD. oh my GOD.

the vulnerability there of her shielding him with her whole body while he relives his worst memories (that may or may not have actually happened) in a hallucinogenic haze....... her need to heal him... and his need to protect her coming through even though moments before he was ready to kill her......... hold on. we need to think on it.

we end with a scully episode wrap up, which i feel we haven't gotten in a while. she says he was cleared of wrongdoing, but he still has no recollection of what went down that night. and his seizures have subsided. 

“but i’m concerned that this experience will have a lasting effect. agent mulder undertook this treatment hoping to lay claim to his past- that by retrieving memories lost to him, he might finally understand the path he’s on. but if that knowledge remains elusive, and if it’s only by knowing where he’s been that he can hope to understand where he’s going, then i fear agent mulder may lose his course, and the truths he’s seeking from his childhood will continue to evade him… driving him more dangerously forward in impossible pursuit”

(fade to black)

SO WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT.

hold on. there are a MILLION things to unpack here.

this episode really solidified to the utterly batshit lengths he is willing to go to try and reach the truth, to the point beyond self-destruction into like, self nuclear annihilation. like we just need to let that sink in for a second. holy fuck. i mean i KNEW he was haunted and i knew he was tortured and i knew he was going to devote every minute of his life to getting the Truth, but the recklessness with which he does so reached new heights here. he let some guy give him DRUGS and drill into his BRAIN. what the actual fuck bro.

also, what actually happened?? who actually killed those people and put him in their bloody shirt?? it’s left entirely ambiguous. beyond the visuals of CSM, there are no other clues. did the victims end their own lives with his gun after remembering stuff they had suppressed from dr. goldstein’s brain tickler??? or was he poorly framed? and if so by who and how and why??

and also. he thinks his dad might not be his dad???? can you IMAGINE him knowing that it is CSM’s blood in his veins??? holy FUCK bro. his mother seemed DEEPLY offended so i don’t feel like that is actually the case but you never know with these things. i'm going to assume those were the drugs talking because we know how much he loves his momma, but for that chilling thought to even enter his head, god, the turmoil and self-loathing it must have produced.

and scully… this was a mulder episode, but it also really was her episode. her doctoring, her sleuthing- she gets him out of trouble that someone worked overtime to get him into by discounting all of the evidence carefully constructed against him- her putting her foot down and saying get to the hospital, i'm not going to stand by and let this keep happening, and then putting herself in front of the gun for him, risking it all to try and bring him back from the brink. her covering him with her own body, holding him down, being there for him as he witnessed his demons dancing in from of him.

her grabbing goldstein by the neck, saying she will not lose anything else, not after so much has been taken from her; dammit she’ll grab what she has left and sink her claws in, and help who gets between her and her loved ones, be it a shitty detective or a grand murder conspiracy, because she’ll calculate the most efficient way to tear everything to the ground and then hold steady in the ruins

wow. need to sleep on this one for sure. it went absolutely CRAZY. but again, s4! it’s so dark! where is the laughter??

so, what do i think after approximately 24 hours have passed since i watched this episode? i enjoyed it! my mutual phoebe pointed out how scully is the one who is in charge here, which is a big change from her loss of autonomy that characterizes the rest of the season. and i have to agree. it felt good to watch her in her element, be it solving crime or diagnosing niche psychological conditions or putting her life on the line for mulder. again, it was centered on his demons, but were these not also scully's demons? watching someone she loves lose who they are under the influence of something that cannot be controlled? and the realization that he was desperate enough to consider such a thing an option in the first place? watching her best friend suffer- is that not also a form of torture?

it was nice to see him tortured for a change. it's been a while! and it's so interesting to watch.

so i liked the episode, but i probably wouldn't get down with a casual rewatch. again, a bit too heavy for kicking my feet up and relaxing. but i thought it was very interesting, a fascinating look into both of their characters, and as a whump addict i am deeply pleased.

[allieebobo]

Post-update poll for Merry Crisis

Yes! 'Tis the season for post-update polls! Here's the link!

I haven't done one yet for Merry Crisis, so—very excited to hear you guys's thoughts!

Here goes!

Edit #1: Lol it's been like, 10 minutes so I really shouldn't be already tracking answers but I'm so amused by the split-votes on this one so far.

Edit #2: Also very interesting how many of you are leaning towards MC moving back to Singapore—wasn't expecting that!

Edit #3: I love the music recs you guys have been sending in with ALL MY HEART. For the person who recommended cigarettes after sex, as stereotypical as the band name is, god that band truly has a vice grip over my heart and... ears? You have no idea how many times I listened to K. and Apocalypse. T.T Save me. My friends keep roasting me.

Edit #4: To the person who wrote "Nature itself must devolve before Nat and I are through," please know that I am now in love with you. Unfortunately I am not Nat.

Edit #5: for those who said they think Shay on the rustic island and Qiu in the art gallery/picnic = more on brand, I actually agree, but I thought maybe it would be too silly to have two bike rides w Shay back-to-back and the idea of shoving Qiu on a mosquito-infested island way out of their comfort zone is kinda entertaining to me. Just a thought. I'm still clearly undecided so your comments are highly entertaining. Keep em coming. I would be a terrible dictator if it ever came to that.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

61. The Island of Bad Dreams

LOOK AT IT

PLUSH AUREOLIN EXISTS

I NEED TO HAVE HER

Budsies finished her and sent me this picture and I'm so excited omg I'm screaming

I hope to see her in person soon <3

FINALLY here is Président Amaranth! He was originally meant to be a horrible, obnoxious idiot and then I accidentally designed him too cute and everyone loves him!!! He part-times as a drag queen and loves everyone

Just realized I colored his left sclera wrong but whatever I'll fix it when he's digitized

SILLI RAT

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

But when he closed his eye…

It could almost feel like nothing changed at all

And when he closed his eye

It could almost feel like he’d been there before

Because he has! It’s Death Irratino Island. A crunched victim lies, but it is NOT Goat Lord. Just some idiot.

MIDNIGHT: Logico. Hi. SLATE: Logico…

There’s a new person! ‘PRESIDENT AMARANTH’! 

AMARANTH: [snotty noises] FRENCH! [snotty noises]

A silhouette also looks at Lodge from afar. It’s Mr. Shadow… it’s FOLLOWING him!!

mr. shadow's theme

LOGICO: The last time I had a follower I fell in LOVE. And I NEVER WANT THAT TO HAPPEN AGAIN!!

Shadow stands there, and it almost looks… smug about it, even though it has no face.

LOGICO: THE FIGURE IS SASSING ME! MIDNIGHT: Don’t you have something you need to be doing. LOGICO: Yes…

So Logico searches, in the dead of night once more, on this horrible island. The Island of Bad Dreams. There is even a crystal skull on the ground - the SAME crystal skull that he had. The same one. The tears are soon to follow.

Shadow is watching Logi from the lighthouse, but the light turns on and is very jarring. Shadow squints and blocks its eyes. It wants to go now.

Poor Slatu. She is in the woods, making little noises over and over. Logi wants to give her a hug, even if she did it. 

MIDNIGHT: Logico. LOGICO: What. MIDNIGHT: Is it time to go back to the movies now. LOGICO: You idiot. You planned this whole thing just to save face, didn’t you? Just so there’d be DRAMA? You killed Irratino… MIDNIGHT: It’s really not very professional to accuse me of something with zero evidence

Damn, can’t argue with that. Logico hears Amaranth singing loud and clear.

AMARANTH: Ai ai ai, ai ai ai! Time to rob a gra-ay-ave!

Really? And he’s dancing in the ruined church. And he’s holding a broom. And the body is right there. For god’s sake, he did it!! But no, Logico is still daydreaming and stumbles about, and it takes him a good fifteen minutes to see the blatantly obvious answer standing in front of him. 

AMARANTH: Fine! An ancient sacred sceptre is buried on this island along with my namesake, the great French president Amaranth! I was going to recover the sceptre and use it to cement my leadership! Now look what you’ve done! You’ve destabilized Europe! MIDNIGHT: Maybe next time, don’t be so obvious. SLATE: I will save you and me, President Mauve.

Lodge couldn't care less. He stumbles to the shore where he stood and watched Irratino’s last heartbeat. His crying becomes inescapable. His precious, innocent, perfect goat man, his life taken. He faceplants into the gravel and sobs hysterically, when he suddenly feels a comforting hand on his shoulder.

It’s Shadow! It’s come to protect Logico. Does he really want that?? Logico stumbles backwards into the loose tide. Why is he so afraid of this thing, and not the countless serial killers everywhere??

LOGICO: NO NO NO, I AM NOT HAVING ANOTHER FOLLOWER, GO! 

He pushes the being away, and its GLASSES FALL OFF. Logico gasps like there’s no air left to breathe. For like 10 seconds, he’s making direct eye contact with the seemingly furious, motionless beast. But all it does is put its shades back on quickly with a gleam. Logico gasps but QUIETLY. Shadow stares at him, EVERYTHING blowing in the wind.

SHADOW: Shh.

It runs away into the darkness again, its cape madly flying.

The end!

Fucking new DeviantArt auto-generated tags.

President Amaranth is not 'the cowboy from Bambi'

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[starlightshore]

What projects are you currently working on? Both Undertale/Deltarune related and not related.

i got my hands in a lot of things always LOL

lots of stuff under the cut

Undertale / Deltarune

Fangames I Co-direct

- Fallen Fates - Undertale Prequel Full Fangame (?)

Fallen Fates is an Undertale Prequel that aims to follow the "What if you got to play as Chara when they originally fell into the Underground?"

Status: LONG Hiatus. Stuck on concept development as the lead project head is busy with his career. Hopefully, we can jump-start development soon! But we're not fully sure WHAT type of game it'll be. So despite being an old project, it's been rebooted and on hold. That said the team really does want to make this game regardless of how long it takes.

- Sensational Studio's Underswap - Undertale AU Full Fangame

An Underswap fangame that isn't what it seems... it aims to be an exciting re-imagining of Undertale with some Deltarune inspiration.

Status: VERY active development. While not publically discussed, the game has been in stead development this whole time.

- Alteration - Undertale AU (I'm a writer, NOT co-director)

On hold as the project lead is writing a draft. I help with the world-building and concept art. Not much I can say on this one as it's been rebooted.

My Projects

- Angel's Lullaby - Undertale Prequel Full Fangame

An ambitious Prequel that aims to be a "next console (DS) style prequel" that covers the Human and Monster War. Following a new protagonist, a Zombie, who is stuck between both sides of the conflict. Use your unique abilities to form a party and decide which side you'll join. Explore the Island of Monsters and uncover their past and secrets. Can you stop the war?

Status: MESSY. Ok so like. This is my fault 100%. We've switched engines MULTIPLE times and that meant re-coding things every time. Outside the battle system, the game's systems are 90% done. Cutscenes, dialogue, menus, save system, etc. So it's CLOSE to becoming a demo but I simply have been burnt out + don't have much time in the day to work on this. However, I DO think I'll keep working on this as the gameplay is fresh and exciting, and my love for the characters are coming back.

- NightFell - Underfell AU Full Fangame

Jackie is just a regular human teenager who stumbles upon a gateway into hell. There, they'll face the monsters who live on Mt.Crown and are stuck here. There's only one rule in this place: Kill or Be Killed!

A very different take on Underfell, that aims to place the Undertale cast and push them into an Underfell society instead of them having always been in one.

This is honestly my favorite project. It's built on the ideas I developed from a canceled fangame called Spookytale, with permission from Jevil to continue the concepts. My most favorite OC ever, Pumpkin, is in this game. While I am waiting for the DR engine my friend Lasers and I are working on to be made first, Nightfell is honestly the least ambitious and most fun game to make. While the story is a rough draft, it's the most complete. I ADORE this game. I'm so excited to make it.

- Fallen Royalty / New Royals - A webcomic / Video game Combo

An Everybody Lives AU that aims to take a hard look to what it'd be like to actually be resurrected. Deals with the themes of growing up, moving past trauma and accepting a second chance at life.

Originally an askblog from 5 years ago, Fallen Royalty is a rebooted comic that I work on. It has a video game adaption, New Royals, as well as video-game segments for the sidestories. Kinda stuck in development at the moment, as I got [redacted] to work on. But the newest Sidestory, DOWN, is in development and should be out soon-ish.

This is my magnum opus, my love letter to Undertale. I have to make a version of this story that's complete and to my best of writing. The tumblr askblog version, while finished, is missing chunks of the story. Follow me at @askfallenroyalty to see it's development

Danny Phantom

- Electrical Undead - my default AU full of headcanons.

In short here are the main ones: Danny has an electrical/light core + full inverted colorscheme + No clones, Ellie is an AU counterpart instead + Nonbinary Sam and trans Danny + sentient portal

- Lingering Spirits - Farmboy!Danny + Nobody Knows AU

When the weird new kid, Danny, moves into town, strange incidents begin to occur. Ghostly sightings, unexplained phenomena, danger around every corner... Can Sam and Tucker get to the bottom of it before the whole town breaks into chaos?

A Horror AU with an angsty, bitter Danny. When his parents are taken during the portal accident, Danny and Jazz move in with Aunt Alicea. After an incident, the family moves to Amity.

So basically: Fallen Royatly is my main thing. SS will require me every few weeks to work on things. FF and NF are on hold. Angel's is in development, typically worked on every Monday but has been on hold since I moved. When I'm burnt out on working on Undertale stuff, I'll work on Danny Phantom stuff. I always have something going on so I keep myself active.

[boydepartment]

Pizza Parlor- Lee Felix: Chapter 8.5

Description: Y/n is a stressed-out college student who has no idea what she is doing with her life. She is always wrapped up in nostalgia and her friends seem to know exactly what they're doing. Feeling insecure one night she decides to go on an old website. Club Penguin. Little does she know; she would encounter a certain penguin who was also having a rough night.

Stray Kids are idols, TXT is not.

Partial smau, mainly written.

Warnings for chapter 8.5: cursing!

WC- 50

back next

masterlist

                                                                                                ```

Song for Chapter 8.5: Scrawny - Wallows

Chapter 8.5: Happy Dance

Felix was truly over the moon, when you ended the call yesterday (well now a couple days ago??) saying you had to go on your trip to Seoul he almost threw up. BUT NOW he was over the moon. He gets to see you, her, Y/N, REALBOBFROMANIMALCROSSING, JOONSGF. He had to be prepared, like genuinely prepared. He saw the time on his phone, 12:43am. Quickly hopping out of bed he threw a pair of sweats on and a big jacket. He threw a beanie on over his now blond hair? Honestly, he didn’t know how that happened the staff just did it. Felix wasn’t complaining though.

He almost fell putting his shoes on and he rushed out, he had to be prepared, okay.

Wait, was this a date? Or just a meeting?

Shit he should’ve ASKED!

Okay either way, something nice right?

He walked out in the cold air and rushed to the nearest store that was open this late at night. He needed flowers, SHIT HE SHOULD MAKE BROWNIES! Quickly Felix grabbed whatever he needed. When he was done, he plopped it down on the counter, the cashier looked at him then sighed tiredly. Felix rushed home and quickly put water in a random bowl he could find then got the flowers situated.

Okay good, now time to bake. He was digging for the pans and then popped back up from behind the island.

                “Holy shit you scared me.” Minho said, “what the hell is going on?”

Felix’s silly little grin almost instantly gave it away, they all knew about this trip Y/n was so busy saving up for because Felix would complain about not getting to see her due to it.

                “Holy shit.” Minho said dumbfounded.

-------------------------------------------------------------------- Taglist: @bloofairyfox @yellowroses-world @g4m3girl @forevrglow @nepytune @rensimps @curly-fr13s @amara-mars

Taglist is always open :) if I ever accidentally leave out a tag please just remind me. I have horrible goldfish memory.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's note: Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the love this story has gotten recently!!! I have gotten a lot of love and comments and reblogs and I am just so happy everyone enjoys it! I pinky promise the next chapter is def gonna be good good!!! Heheheh!! I am going to try and finish the couple projects I mentioned yesterday this week, not the full blown fic but some of the little side series! That'll probably require another masterlist but idk we will cross that bridge when we get there.

Chapter 9 is completed it just has to be proof read and then I need to decide on some other things regarding this fic! Sorry that this .5 was so short, I had to fit something in for this hehe and I thought it was cute <3

Today is a slow college week so I will definitely have time to work on my projects here on Tumblr, I am so very excited to say the least.

I hope everyone is doing fantastic! Remember to eat and drink a lot of water! That is very important! If you can try to do some stretches! It feels really nice to stretch and crack lol

If any of you need anything my dms and ask box are always open <3

I love you!

[journalsouppe]

My spread for the Winds of Hoenn zine!! Gen 3 has such a special place in my heart and I was so excited to see this project unfold. It was a massive project that had some truly spectacular pieces of art, writing, and merch. As a big Latios and Latias fan, I was also so excited to flip through the extra mini book which had some silly sketches.

Gen 3/Hoenn will always be my favorite generation/region and I am so glad I get to own a whole collection of art that showcases my favorite things about it.

Writing typed below!

Zine Theme: the locations, people, and pokemon of the Hoenn region

Volume I: Places, II: people. Merch: pokemon. Deluxe hardcover edition.

Merch list:

Original and proxy trading cards

Holographic art prints (4)

6 Die cut stickers

Stamp sticker sheet (8)

2 wooden charms

Latios and Latias mini book

(2 die cut and 3 stamp stickers are being saved for when I replay emerald <3)

My thoughts: A huge but incredibly well made zine. Over 120 artists with 250 pages worth of topics. Each topic has around 1-3 pieces of art and most topics have a written piece as well. The art and writing are gorgeous, there’s so many small details I hope to adapt into my art. I’ve never seen pixel art in a zine before but it was so well done here, incredible! The additional merch is also stunning. The little Latias/os book is very silly and fun. The stickers are super cute. The art prints are incredibly made and large. And the wooden charms are charming. Not to mention the trading cards!!! I adore those 10/10 love this zine!

TYSM to all the creators involved!!!! This is such a wonderful zine that brought back so many happy memories tied to Emerald. You all did absolutely amazing!

An amazing book to use for environmental references. Many perspectives and art styles to study!

My comments

WALLY!!!!

POKÉMON HEROES LATIAS

Omg chocobo Latias/os

MUNGUS ‘,:(

The hardcover is soo nice

The trees in the southern island T-T

The casual daily life is so peaceful, esp love the pieces with Japanese inspired architecture!

MT CHIMNEY AND MT PYRE GO SO HARD????

I know skarmory is gen 2 but my gen 3 love is incomplete without him <3

Omg a lava cookie recipe

I love remembering all of these areas

I want to replay emerald so bad

Love the art style for the sky pillar! Perfect

RAYQUAZA STICKER!

[bonesbuckleup]

You’re writing a book?! What the hell that’s so exciting!!

I was gonna ask you about it bc I’m 👀🍽️ but then I saw the ask game you were having and realized that nr 17 fits perfectly >:) (ofc you can be as specific as you want/are able to be) I’m also really curious about 23, more specifically if there’s a place you often go to where you generally feel more productive?

(and if these have already been asked you can just pick whichever question you feel like you want to answer lol ♥️)

Answering out of order!

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

I have a standing desk in my bedroom with a walking pad. On that desk is a Bluetooth keyboard, a stand for my laptop, and a second monitor. There's also a lamp, some speakers, a copy of Save the Cat Writes a Novel, a bunch of notebooks, some scrap paper, a mug with pens, some thumb tacks, and a candle. I've got a white board to the left, cork boards, and a conspiracy wall of paper taped everywhere for easy-access notes. I'm talking full Pepe Silvia set up, to be honest. It is not elegant, but it gets the job done.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Rambling vaguely about my original projects beneath the cut. There are two: the one I'm about to rewrite that I've been submitting to agents, and then the shiny new thing.

Project One! A YA contemporary fantasy novel called Initiate. To steal my twitter pitch/aesthetic.

The women of 16-year-old Cal Townsend's family have two traditions--witchcraft and secrets. When her father suddenly dies, and Cal is sent to live with her estranged maternal grandmother on a remote island in Lake Superior, Cal unknowingly enters into both. Initiate has:

Great Lakes gothic vibes

A Superior-based magic system

Queer kids trying their best

Sentient shadows

Hauntings of various kinds

Breaking generational curses

So! Much! Ice!

ANYWAY. I am about to rip that one apart at the seams, so that's all I have to say about it. However, I am also working on a new one that would probably appeal to Batfam fandom fans, so why not pop it in here as well.

It does not have a title yet, and is only the crime mage boys wip.

Set in a world that's exactly like ours except magic is an unquestioned part of it, the vibe of the crime mage boys wip is The Outsiders meets Rear Window but, like, also with magic and Chicago. Basically almost everyone has the capacity to do small magic (light a cigarette with a snap of the fingers, etc etc), but a small portion of the population can't do any (null) and another small portion can do big magic (mages).

The Grayson brothers (I know okay shut up) are hanging on by a thread. Leo (23, null, Tired™️) has been his brothers' legal guardian for the past 5 years and works multiple jobs with long hours to keep them afloat. JT (18/19, on week 52 of being in a bad mood) was a promising mage who had his magic permanently cut off by the police after being in the wrong place at the wrong time-- effectively torpedoing every future plan he'd ever had in a single night and leaving him floundering. Miles (14, protagonist, text book flight risk) just wants to keep his head down and not add to his brothers' many problems.

To bring in some extra money, Miles secretly works for a PI and helps her gather evidence (photos of cheaters caught in the act, checking to see if people really live at addresses--low risk recon jobs, basically). But add in a witnessed murder, a DIY-vigilante who keeps putting himself in Miles's way, and a growing mages' rights movement sweeping over the city, and Miles is getting a hell of a lot more than he bargained for.

ANYWAY that one is still very much in progress, but please enjoy these picrews of the three brothers: Miles, JT, and Leo, in that order.

[theadventurerslog]

King's Quest VI: Heir Today Gone Tomorrow | Part 1

The Adventurer’s Log

King’s Quest VI: Heir Today Gone Tomorrow Part 1

Release date: 1992 (1993)

Introduction

King's Quest VI puts us back in the shoes of Alexander. It's been a few months since Graham saved them from Mordack and Alexander is pining for Princess Cassima. He's heard no word of her and has found nothing to tell him where the Land of the Green Isles is.

Valanice tells him it's been months and he essentially should move on and think of other things to which he sort of reluctantly agrees and she leaves. But then the magic mirror activates! As it does.

And Cassima's voice can be heard calling for Alexander and then he gets a vision of her. She 'feels so alone and doesn't know what to do. Alexander...'

You know, the chest of infinite gold and the shield that were the other two treasures Graham got back in the first game never come up again, but this mirror is sure getting its use. It's been in every game in some capacity except for V.

I'm about to get cranky for a moment, and I don't want that to give the wrong impression because I am excited for this game and have already had a great time with my first session, but this is one of the reasons I was cranky about the ending of KQV. They were deliberately building to this game, so why did they make the meeting between Alexander and Cassima that rough with such a poor first impression of Alexander? I can suspend my disbelief for this game for love at first sight (as silly as it is), especially for this series where it's a very common thing, but from Cassima's point of view, especially with the trouble currently going on there as we'll learn about, what is there for her to think about in regards to Alexander now? Just argh.

Anyway, this is enough to get the smitten Alexander going and he gathers a crew and ship and sets sail to find the Land of the Green Isles.

After three months of sailing certain lands are spotted, but when they get close night falls and a storm starts raging. They're dashed upon the rocks and ship wreck...

Title screen! Look at the 3D text.

And the adventure begins as Alexander wakes up on the shores...

He got his men safely to lifeboats but wasn't able to make it himself. And we have text again! Voice and text thank goodness.

I poked around a bit and lifted the plank to find a broken chest underneath that contained one single Daventry copper coin. Alexander's insignia ring was also on the beach.

Then there was one tradition to fulfill. Out into the water you go, sir!

It actually warns you of the undertow when you first enter the water, so you have a chance to back off, but you know. Gotta do it once. He gets swept out to sea and...

Well, down he goes. Sorry Alexander.

Fancy death screen in this game!

And snarky narrator message. I really quite like the narrator in this game. Did I mention this game has actual voice actors now?

Once I was done drowning poor Alexander (what do you think of your choices now, Cassima?) I set off down the path to find a branching path.

I've got a town in one direction a castle in the other. I went for the town first.

We've got a pawn shoppe, a book shoppe and an old man selling old lamps for new. I talked to him and Alexander questions his business practice to which he explains that 'there's always a chance he'll find a genie and be richer than a king! And there's always a roaring business in antique illuminaries.'

Unfortunately, newly washed up and all, I have no new lamps for him, so there's nothing to be done at this point.

I went to the pawn shoppe next to a very familiar voice because the shop keeper is voiced by the same person who voices King Andre in The Curse of Monkey Island and it's a very recognizable voice. When I first heard it in the let's play I perked up like 'I know him!' It might be silly but I always get happy recognizing a voice actor. It's just fun.

Like this pawn shop is fun!

There are so many things to examine and so many good descriptions.

I love this hatchet spiel. It's just an axe lodged in the floor, but off he goes...

And then! Examining the shelves brings up all kinds of jokes relating to the past games such as:

And

And a 'golden bridle finder, for finding those nearly-invisible golden bridles', a box of 'cat-cookie mix. "Play tricks on your friends," the box says' and 'self-adhesive emeralds. "What you use when you don't have honey." and something I greatly needed: "stairs traction pads; "Stop slipping off those narrow staircases." And there were more! But I won't list every single one.

There were also potions and things like "a bottle labeled 'Owl Courage Potion," for spineless owls.' and 'a small box of "Enchanted Sorcerer's Flea and Tick Collars." Among other goodies.

The shop keeper was surprised to find Alexander didn't know where he was and explains he's landed on the Land of the Green Isles. We made it! And Alexander explains how he reached here, following the stars...

He sure is. With Princess Cassima! For the best reaction.

He has a little more information: Cassima is in a dark time, things aren't well between the islands and the ferry is no longer running. Otherwise there isn't much info to get from him but he does have items on the counter the copper Daventry coin can be used on. Get one item but able to exchange it for one of the others any time. There's a mechanical nightingale, a flute, a tinderbox and a paintbrush. None of which there is currently a known use for, but I snagged the flute for fun. There's also a bowl of free mints for customers and I grabbed one.

I moved onto the book shop next.

Books! And more information to be had! But first there was a little table with bargain books.

Of course I had to take it, especially being free and everything. What could it be?

Very very confusingly boring. When I later tried to give it back to the owner he was aghast--he was trying to get RID of it.

The cloaked man wouldn't talk but examining him notes that he seems to keep watching you. He may have refused to talk, but the fire will be friendly instead.

I tried talking to it. There's a number of things that give you some kind of response if you use the talk command. I'd tried it on the Daventry coin earlier too and being a coin of Daventry had King Graham's face on it, so the message was something like 'only if King Graham were here to ask for his advice.'

Anyway the little book on the table was about court entertainment. One shelf had some silly guide books and the next had a book of poetry that Alexander had to read. There were a few he seemed to appreciate but then one in particular 'hit close to home' and he was quite taken by it. The page falls out when putting the book back the shop owner lets you keep it because he's already had to repair it twice and doesn't want to do it.

The poem in question:

I wanted to record it because this narrator reads it with so much gravity. And this boy is truly lovesick.

The shopkeeper had some more information. He also notes the ferry no longer runs between the islands. There's been much political unrest and it's been too dangerous to travel. He also mentions at least three islands but there may be a fourth. And that the Land of the Green Isles is said to exist on the boundaries of this world and the next. He mentions a ferry man to talk to and that's all for now here. Time to find the ferryman.

Passing through the archway in town led to this house with many roses along its gates and walls. There was a lady outside tending the flowers.

Before I could talk to the lady another woman came out and berated her a bunch and she went back insider after her. Very Cinderella and evil step-mother situation there.

The screen after has the dilapidated ferry. And a boy swimming in the water who tells Alexander to come on down. He claims he can show Alexander the way to the other islands.

Surely there's nothing suspicious here and we've had no bad experiences with the water already. What could go wrong? Obviously I jumped in after.

Yeah, it goes about as well as expected. Alexander drowns.

Reload! The boy keeps nagging you to come in but if you wait just a little he'll disappear in time.

Nothing to worry about there I'm sure. Ferry time!

The ferryman is willing to talk and invites Alexander inside. We learn a little more about the seeming weirdness of this place, though he doesn't much believe some of the wilder stories. He speaks fondly of Cassima and her mother Queen Allaria and how he used to take them to the other islands to help people. The King and Queen served their people. Then things got bad between the islands and the vizier shut down travel. Even if he wanted to travel now the ferry isn't seaworthy anymore. However, there is word of a map that may help that the pawn shop owner may know something of... He also let me take his old rabbit's foot and with that I left.

I stopped in at the book shop again and this time the robed man was gone, but a newcomer was there.

He wouldn't talk at first until showing Alexander's insignia ring and he recognizes the name thanks to Cassima telling him of a Prince Alexander of Daventry. He's the clown to the royal court and had seen her briefly when she returned. Unfortunately, Cassima's parents, Queen Allaria and King Caliphim, died a few weeks before her return. They say it was due to heartbreak and he's afraid she's blaming herself. She's sequestered in mourning, an apparently outdated tradition that isn't required, but the vizier says she insisted out of respect. He doesn't trust the vizier and is only staying at the castle to keep an ear to the ground. He wishes he could get a message to Cassima, but the only way he knows to do so would be through her pet nightingale, Sing Sing, but he doesn't know where she is, so he can only wait. He'll try to come back here in the future so we can talk more.

We have information and a contact!

With that I carried on to the pawn shoppe where the robed man was also. He still wouldn't talk.

The shop keeper indeed has a magic map that will enable one to teleport to the other islands as long as the user is near the sea. He would normally want a magic item in return, but with business bad due to the islands being closed off to each other, he's willing to simply take something valuable instead. Alexander offers his insignia ring :(.

It's enough, but the shop keeper does offer to keep it for him for a few days, so that if he finds something else valuable he can get his ring back.

After the exchange the robed man darted forward and snatched a mint and ate it. Then he started wobbling and acting drunk, staggered out.

Leading me to a "Seconds later, in the castle..." and a scene elsewhere!

The Master here gets mad at him for eating mint and had told him to stop that. With some effort he gets the information out of this fellow, who's name is Shamir, that Prince Alexander of Daventry is here. He knows that's the man Cassima met at Mordack's castle, so he knows of that, hmm. And that Alexander found a magic "smap". He's not happy; he thought he'd taken care of the only mode of travel. He orders Shamir to 'go to the other islands and tell them...' and the scenes fades.

Trouble is afoot!

But for now I have a magic smap, er, map, as well as a castle to go check out, which will be my tasks next time!

--

Points: 22/231 Deaths: 2 Time: 1:15

[meltotheany]

hi hi friends! i hope you’re all doing well. june was a little bit of a whirlwind for me, but i was still able to read six things that i can’t wait to talk about with you! june is also my army anniversary with bts, and this year was the fifth! which feels very insane to type! but jimin also dropped a song the exact day, so the month for sure is ending on a happy note! but let’s get into the six books i read this month! 💜 ✨ Jujutsu Kaisen, Vol. 04 by Gege Akutami ⭐⭐⭐ ➛ vol. 1 ★★★★ ➛ vol. 2 ★★★ ➛ vol. 3 ★★★ i really am loving every itadori and sukuna interaction/moment. honestly, sukuna was my favorite character in this fourth installment, and im not sure what that says about me, but here we are. my heart @ junpei, fully and utterly. mahito, after my fave scene with sukuna, thinks up a new mission to steal some remaining cursed fingers of sukuna. but besides that, we get to see the start of the good year event, which is a team battle of different schools, where the most exorcisms win. but obviously, itadori is a target all on his own. so, so, so excited to continue on, probably extra because of the cliffhanger ending feeling of this, too! trigger + content warnings: fighting / battle, violence, blood, gore, death, talk of bullying ✨ One Perfect Couple by Ruth Ware ⭐⭐ i feel like i really can’t talk about this book without getting into a little spoilery territory, so please skip over this review if you wish to know nothing about this thriller! (and i do say thriller and not thriller mystery because there really isn’t much mystery to this story whatsoever, which is also probably a reason i didn’t enjoy it as much!) but i picked this up because 1) i have enjoyed ruth ware in the past and 2) the girls were saying survivor meets love island and i will always be here for that set up! But instead of love island and survivor, we get lord of the flies and men’s rights activists. our main character, lyla, reluctantly agrees to go on a reality tv dating show, set on a secluded island, because her boyfriend is an actor and really begs her to do it because it could be very good for his career. lyla’s lab contract is up next month, and the funding renewal isn’t looking too good, so she also agrees under the condition that she can work on her paper and that she can only be on the island for two weeks. but after filming for only 24 hours, a big storm comes that is not only deadly but has completely made the people on the island not be able to contact anyone to come save them. And then she and the rest of the people are trying to survive while… red pill lord of the flies ensues. i really do respect making the villain who it was, and i respect the talk of the manosphere and the following these mens right activities accumulate on youtube and other platforms that also leads to the perpetuation of violence against women. but oh my god, i just hated reading about this man with all the sum of hate i have in my body. after that storm, that man would have been GONE by me and me alone and i would not have… done what they did at the end (even though that’s an important discussion too, and it does make sense, but again – i just hated reading about it!) i hope if you pick this one up, you have more fun reading it than i did, friends! trigger + content warnings (these will content some plot spoilers so please use caution or do not read if you do not need to know any tw/cws): extremely bad storms, talk of fear of water, extremely abusive relationships, blood, death, drowning, talk of loss of parent in past (one sentence), suicide mentions, not having the insulin that you need, grief, depression, loss of partner, grooming in past, and discussion of men’s rights activists throughout (always in a negative light but it is a lot) ✨ Heir of Fire (Throne of Glass, #3) by Sarah J. Maas (reread) ⭐⭐⭐⭐ “You cannot pick and choose what parts of her to love.” listen, 2015 melanie gave this two stars and i am 99% sure that was just because i shipped celaena...

[captain-kraken]

HAPPY WBW late in the day but better late than never xD

Is religion significant in your story's world, and if so tell me about the religions that you've developed.

I really want to have interesting religions in my story because I feel like they do so much to make fictional cultures feel really *real* and fleshed out and engaging, but I'm having a heckin lot of trouble building them out

Happy WBW! Thank you for the ask!

OOH you have no idea how excited I am to answer this question!! If you ever wanna talk about building religions, I am your guy!!

I’m gonna give you the “short” version because I could seriously write 10k words about this, it’s one of the most developed aspects of my world-building because theology is one of my interests.

Religion is very significant in Blue Blood and is heavily involved in the main arc of the series. There are a few different ones, but the main two are Heirosa and Sanpala.

-

Heirosa

Heirosa is centred around the existence of heiros, the natural magic that resides within every living thing. The main branch of Heirovir believe that everything is governed.by ten deities, who are split into three different categories: death, creation, and patron.

Some branches believe in different things. For example, the Sahde Heirovir (“pure” Heirovir) do not worship the patron gods, as they are not the same as the others in their creation. Whilst some people believe that only Eira is the one true god who controls everything.

Those who follow Heirosa have a number of things that they do. They visit the Solsun regularly to visit the god’s altars and pay their respects, as well as talk to them about anything that’s on their mind. Heirovir’s also regularly perform blessings, which is said to help keep the corruption levels down.

Anybody under the age of 15 is not considered responsible for their own contributions to the heiros corruption. Shortly after their 15th birthday they undergo a ceremony called Dilenu, where they receive a specific pendant called a “detloran” which is the symbol of an eye. It’s supposed to be a reminder that the gods are watching what you do.

-

Sanpala

Sanpala is the religion mostly worshipped by seabloods and those who work at sea. It’s the belief that water is the most powerful body of heiros and that it has the power to wash away all corruption, if it so chooses.

They also believe in the existence of Tura, a deep-sea god that is said to be so huge he can swallow a fleet of ships hole. They believe he is a lihero with tentacles, instead of a tail, and thousands of sharp teeth.

This is a word-of-mouth religion and has no written texts, only passed through stories and songs. There are no holy places to worship at and no major holidays. The only requirement to this religion is that you undergo a ceremony called Patharsi which is performed by anyone who has had the ceremony done themselves.

-

All my characters have different levels of faith in their religion, if they follow one at all. You cannot deny the existence of heiros, but you can deny the existence of gods.

Unfortunately though, the gods are very real in Sonhara. They’re just very flawed and are slowly being affected by the corruption that’s taking over the islands.

The main arc of Blue Blood involves the characters eventually finding the gods to find out why they aren’t saving the islands, only to find out that they can’t save the islands and that they have a lot of problems going on. So they all gotta figure out a new plan and work together.

(And yes, this was the short version XD)

[risefromhell]

I only have five volumes left and then I'm done with my first source after coming back into media. It is beyond exciting but also terrifying because of what's happening in the story

I am going to just hold out my assumptions on Eren are exactly as my instincts are. I'm going to hold out he's faking everyone out because he agrees with me

after all, I kept saying he felt like a twin to me almost the whole source to this point. If we are twins that would it also include him thinking the same as me; that if that island wants to stay free and safe it will need to become, at least in image, the giant powerful enemy they all fear enough to be left alone and stay safe as there is no way to easily change their image at this point?

is that true? is that what you're doing faking out your brother pretending to promote a very... triggering topic for me because of my history... and instead is using him to finally save all of the island?

That's why you fought back and first and gave in to do things your way, become the big bad, if just... to preserve their future?

oh please Eren don't trigger me by the end in a source that got me so excited and so happy, please let me believe in you.

and Levi too

[morievna]

Ch. 104.5 - On Fukuzawa’s mistake and Fukuchi’s motive and Last Judgement symbolism

*dies irae in background xD*

Woah what a chapter – I still not recovered from emotional meltdown from Given – and we got such exciting continuation in BSD. Honestly i hoped for more of Fukuchi’s POV on Tokoyami island, but Asagiri is such tease and I have to wait more XD

But before I start, I want to make things clear:

I will be a bit critical of Fukuzawa – I don’t want to be taken as I am dragging him or think that he is bad person. He is good person but flawed like everybody.

I know that Fukuchi is mostly hated by fandom…please remember that point of villain is not to be likeable, but that he is serving specific purpose in narrative – to challenge protagonist’s morale, methods and views on system they live in.

Ofc I don’t claim to be 100% correct - this is just my interpretation and super-deduction xD

Okay, so let’s start~~

I want to bring attention to that frame - it is significant because Atsushi was reminiscing about it when he was contemplating Fukuchi’s goal.

What is interesting is that in official polish translation this line is a bit different – something along this:

“Who is right or wrong – let it be decided by God’s Judgement!”

Ofc I am not stating that fan translation is wrong – I just want to point out how from symbolic perspective God’s Judgement = Final Judgement = Apocalypse fits story rather nicely:

Fukuchi is obviously associated with being god or god’s executioner– godlike status of ability + holy sword, nickname Kamui = god, also lion (his ability name) is symbol of god/christ, god=justice as he is seen as justice by others

DoA members count – 1+4 = god + four horsemen of apocalypse

Point of Last Judgment is to pass judgment on living and dead (here vampires) and basically create new world without evil, wars and sins (here abilities) – aka promised land - which is basically Fyodor’s goal

Fyodor specifically created plan with karma in mind – and practically The Last Judgment is about it too – “it will reveal even to its furthest consequences the good each person has done or failed to do during his earthly life” as wiki says.

I know DoA is more leaning towards Buddhism with angels, karma and rebirth - but this is angle is interesting too and judgment in afterlife is rather universal concept. Okay, maybe I am overthinking it too much, but it is fun to interpret that way.

So basically this arc is about Fukuchi judging humanity and serving them karma.

In previous chapters Atsushi failed judgment because lack of courage and trust in Akutagawa – which as result Fukuchi intended to kill him back then. On the other side, he recognized spirit and skill of Akutagawa and Tachihara – thus granting them rebirth as vampires. Imo once they regain consciousness in the future, it will work in their favour. They will be fine, don’t worry~~

And now Fukuchi was testing Fukuzawa with all that ‘guessing his motive’ and when Fukuzawa failed, Fukuchi passed divine judgment on him.

Okay, now moving on to Fukuzawa and why he was wrong~~

Basically xD

Fukuzawa is shown as person who rather makes decisions not considering bigger picture – like going for quick easy remedy to every situation.

Just like in Cannibalism Fukuzawa’s decision to trying kill Mori was depicted as wrong one (as it could result in PM returning to its previous mindless violence version). But there was Natsume Souseki to save situation.

Also his decision to kill advocates for war was temporary solution to stop war (and not thinking about root cause aka imperialistic agenda of government). It is also very ironic lil hypocritical that he went from ‘I won’t go to war because there is only killing’ to ‘let’s kill people responsible for war’ – as sole ‘killing’ wasn’t problem to him after all. And again karma got him – for continuing cycle of violence – as ADA was framed as terrorists to the public by corrupt politician which father he killed.

And then his guessing Fukuchi’s motive –

Firstly, Fukuzawa is portraying as it is only result of single traumatic experience, and not endless exploitation by government to the point of breaking Fukuchi as person. They had thrown him from battlefield to another without break. Ordered to torture civilians. And also government establishing Hunted Dogs, which basically has no true agency as without monthly check-ups they die -  so they can’t really oppose orders. Overall, in all BSD we are repeatedly shown that government is corrupt and is not to be trusted/relied upon – as they only see to use people for their own agenda and not common good.

‘everything for past 36 years has been weighting down’ as Teruko and Atsushi said this chapter.

Because ultimately Fukuchi is after systematic change. He is fallen idealist, who no longer believes that it can done without coercion, thus using One Order and Book to achieve that – creating world without wars and evil. Like a way to prevent more tragedies like these which had befallen him and his comrades.

Ofc it can be that he is seeing that as form of revenge - as stripping power from angels/politicians to make them rebirth to suffer the consequences from their action.

Which could be, because there is interesting change in Fukuchi expression:

Like from ‘shit he got me’ to ‘meh, not at all’ xD

‘Meh’ is when Fukuzawa claimed that Fukuchi is targeting ADA as punishing him for rejecting his plea to help him save comrades. Though it obviously hurt Fukuchi back then – still it is wrong assumption because karma is for everybody~~ Most of ADA have either dark past where they killed people (Dazai, Kyouka, Atsushi) or feel guilty for their inability to save people (Kunikida, Yosano) or have questionable moral code (Tanizaki, Kenji, Ranpo). Ofc I am not stating that they are bad people – they are not – it is just DoA plan to make people get karma for their actions.

To sum it all up, fighting Fukuchi is mistake  - story is repeatedly showing with AtsuAku, Tachihara(+Mori strategy) and now Fukuzawa(+Ranpo strategy). It is simply not about defeating him. Because he has right points about government corruption and need for change – though achieving it through tyranny is obviously wrong way to go xD

Ofc in bad scenario it could go in marvel movies way - with protecting status quo and Fukuchi simply dying, but we will see. I would preferred to see it more The Last Jedi way – like Rey and Luke arc – with Atsushi (with vampire Aku at his side and hopefully Kyouka too) igniting hope in Fukuchi that new generation can fix undoings of the past and the positive change can be achieved organically by kind people.

So last question – did that attack killed Fukuzawa?

Though I am not sure of that, but still I think he is going to die this arc – sorry - for below reasons:

Karma for misunderstanding Fukuchi 

Chapter 91 had very ‘one last time’ vibe with ADA members meeting

Don’t forget that Asagiri is big on trope ‘mentor dies as way to make his protégé grow up’ 

Especially, when you look how much Ranpo is coded as a kid – sweets, don’t wanting to take responsibility and his father-son relationship with Fukuzawa (which is very much emphasized in this arc) –  something just needs to happen to propel his character development, since he didn’t really get any since Mushitarou arc.

Besides, Fukuzawa’s ability stalls other ADA members development too – as he controls their abilities for them. After all, symbolically abilities stand for manifestation of dark part of soul – it is something everybody needs to deal and make peace by yourself, not have other one conveniently control it for you.

But still, probably we will have to wait to see – imo we will get Mersault next chapter with Fyodor opening Chuuya’s gate to unleash Arahabaki mode with black wings for more Apocalypse vibes xD

So that’s all for today^^ Thanks for reading <3