#i am trying to keep it as vague as possible but if u know the scene I'm mentioning

[meowcifer-nails]

To elaborate more on this without spamming op's post, if you think about it, Harry himself is not entirely unlike Lena.

Even if thorough the whole game you manage to pick the least shitty options possible in terms of his behavior and thoughts, even if you stray as far as possible from the racist routes, even if you do your best to play him as a kind person whenever possible and to always be nice to Kim in particular, there is a specific instance (I'll keep it vague but if you know you know) where you might say the wrong thing on 'accident'.

[Important to note, this is NOT an outright player choice, you will have NO clue about how badly you are about to fuck up if you never came across it and weren't spoiled about it. You can go the whole game denouncing racism at every chance you're given to do so, and it will not change this outcome. ]

If this happens, Kim will not only be furious about it, he will snap and remark on several things Harry ALREADY did or said that made him wonder about Harry's stance and prejudices, telling you about how he overlooked it both because he wanted to be professional and because he assumed it was at least partly influenced by Harry's condition, but still hurt him nonetheless.

Now, I'm fairly sure he points out more things if you picked more "bad" dialogue options through the game, but it's important that you will still get called out even if you didn't.

Harry canonically says and does racist things even if he (or you, the player) means no ill by it, simply out of ignorance. It's not entirely outright, you might not even notice them, but he does and you cannot avoid this. He canonically disrespects Kim because of his ethnicity on multiple occasions, whether you want to or not, whether you notice it or not, but one thing is for sure: Kim sure as hell fucking notices. He just doesn't SAY anything about it all that time unless you fuck up so badly he cannot hold back anymore.

And once Harry is faced with this, he is stunned, because he never had a clue that he was hurting Kim. You can at this point pick the way he responds to this, but not the fact that he is shocked by the news, because he was never fully aware of it.

This is part of what makes the commentary of this game so good in my opinion, because not only it examines the more outright racism (the big 3 main racists) as well as the less aggressive and seemingly benevolent kind (Lena being the prime example), but also the kind that's so ingrained and subtle that someone not only does not do it on purpose but has absolutely no awareness of it, and having this be examined using the main protagonist is such a powerful way of showing it, as well as the way they throw this at you (a lot of the ways the game "punishes" you for picking "bad choices" is simply to let you know you are disappointing Kim, so this particular instance feels extra bad because it turns out you've been low key disappointing him all along without even realizing it).

[nothorses]

hi sorry to bother u about this, i searched around transmasc subreddits for an answer to this and while i saw a few people joking about getting dry cramps, nobody seems to know what this is. and i vaguely remember seeing a post by you mentioning "mystery cramps" in a post also about vaginal atrophy, but I didnt pay attention to the post much at the time bc at that point i wasnt experiencing atrophy or mystery cramps.

but now I'm a bit over a year on T, (my periods stopped only about 4 months ago though, because i was on a much lower dose than most for a lot longer time than most. that ~4 months ago time frame lines up with upping my dose from 0.2 to 0.3ml. i'm on 0.4ml tho now as of about 3 weeks ago) and suddenly i'm getting "mystery cramps" sometimes, it seems to happen especially the night before my T-shot day, (but i cant say that with certainty—i know i'm having them right now and my shot day is tomorrow morning, and i think thats been the case, but i dont know for sure) and they feel exactly like period cramps. to the point where i feel super paranoid that maybe i've been injecting improperly and the testosterone isnt absorbing right and my period is actually coming back. (something i often have nightmares about)

i searched your blog again for that post and did find it, (the one about estradiol cream treating it) but the wording of it is a little unclear and i wanted to just clarify that this is the same thing youre talking about? or if what im experiencing is different than the "mystery cramps" you meant and i should see a doctor

I am for sure not a doctor, and I think you should see one either way!

My personal understanding of the "mystery cramps" is that it's a part of "vaginal atrophy" that some, but not all trans folks who go on T experience, and it usually doesn't start until a couple of years on T ( which is also, to my knowledge, based on more standard doses as opposed to "low-dose" T).

Mine started about two years in, and was happening occasionally at first- always at night, and often the day before my T shot- then progressed to several nights a week over time. Nowadays I tend to experience cramping almost every time I so much as miss one dose of estradiol. Ibuprofen and Midol are the only OTC pain relievers that seem to do the trick, and the cramping will keep me up through the entire night untreated. It also tends to come in fairly predictable waves (spaced maybe 15-30 minutes apart) and right before I started estradiol, I remember getting some light spotting as well.

iirc, I talked to my PCP when it was just starting up, and their response was along the lines of "that's weird, let's keep an eye on it". I moved and didn't have a PCP for a while, so when the spotting started, I went to a walk-in urgent care clinic and talked to them. They gave me a referral for an ultrasound, and encouraged me to go to a "women's health" clinic that had long history of specializing in trans care as well. When I talked to the folks at that clinic, they encouraged me to go through with the ultrasound (I didn't), and prescribed estradiol cream because I asked them to and they didn't see a reason not to try it.

If you think it's possible this is what's going on with you, I would really encourage you to talk to a doctor, specifically bring up research around this issue and estradiol cream as a treatment option, and ask them if there's a reason not to try it just to see if it does anything for you. If nothing else, estradiol cream also treats vaginal dryness, tightness, and inflammation (other symptoms of "vaginal atrophy"), so it might be worth a shot for those reasons anyway!

And don't do what I did; if they want you to do an ultrasound or whatever else, go with it, and rule out other possibilities. Listen to medical advice from medical professionals who know your medical history and who you trust are listening to you & know what they're talking about.

[mari-lair]

Between TeruAoi, Terukane and Aoikane which one do u think has the most chance of becoming canon with the story rn? I saw a lot of people on twt saying that Terukane has the most chance right now with the new timeline but I don't fully get why

Aoikane was confirmed canon in the old timeline, and it still has the most chance of being canon in the new timeline.

Just look at these panel. These aren't small implications, these are loud "HEY, AOI AND AKANE STILL LIKE EACH OTHER!!" panels.

Terukane has no chance of being canon, at least, not in an endgame way, the most I can see it happening is Teru having a one-sided crush on Akane. And even that isn't as likely as the overall fandom want people to believe, cause we have gotten a lot of teruaoi hints.

HOWEVER, while unlikely I am not dismissing the possibility of one-sided terukane, cause aidairo has put a lot of effort into keeping Teru's crush ambiguous (like teru not telling his crush's gender when rejecting someone in chapter 1). So there is no way to disprove for sure that Teru doesn't like Akane.

The thing is that teruaoi also can't be disproven unless people go out of their way to have the most uncharitable view possible on the ship build ups. Teru has had so many vague build ups that tiptoe between 'platonic' and 'romantic' with both Aois, to the point even something as impossible as 'Teru like both aois' cannot be explicitly shut down. Not yet. So one-sided terukane wouldn't surprise me if it was canon or if it wasn't.

Now enjoying terukane is one thing, is a good ship with a really awesome and complex dynamic, but the people who genuinely believe they are being written to be canon and that making them canon was always the intention bother me, cause they aren't analyzing the manga, they just... see what they want to see.

I haven't been on twitter in a while but I don't have to be there to know that most terukane shippers there will see the newest chapter and zoom in on this scene to go "LOOK HOW MUCH AKANE CARES!! THIS IS ANOTHER PROOF TERUKANE RELATIONSHIP IS EVOLVING AND WILL BE CANON"

but they will pretend this part doesn't exist.

so at least to me, these 'analysis' read less like people that genuinely love the manga and enjoy analyzing every detail to try to foreshadow the relationships that will be explored, and more like people in denial trying to insert their headcanons and preferences into canon " I WANT terukane to be Endgame so I will ONLY see the terukane parts cause that's what matters, everything else in this manga is a mistake so it shouldn't be considered."

[graceofagodswrath]

Omg your Humans are space orcs/deathworlders + Transformers is just *d e l i c i o u s*. My complaints are pretty much the same, it seems that most humans on the franchise are just manufactured to be hated or simply annoying for being so useless. I want transformers to realize just how hard we have to work to simply stay alive *in our own planet*, with the sheer amount of diseases and poisonous animals and predators and weather and so much more, I want them to wonder how such seemingly fragile beings became the dominant species, how can we be so resilient yet so delicate... I'd like a transformer that particularly hates/is disgusted by humans to swap places with us for like a day or so, the first one that comes to mind is Starscream, I want him to get a glimpse at the daily fight for survival here on Earth and can't help but develop a tiny speck of respect for humans, not that he would ever admit it, even to himself, that he's secretly more mindful of where he steps when there are humans around ever since.

I literally just gave a rundown about this to a friend in a drunken rant the other night, so I am so ready for this.

Starscream wouldn’t be my first pick, based solely on the fact that I haven’t psycho-analyzed him the same way I have others, but imma do my best ~

For situation-sake so my writer brain doesn’t kill itself over context, imma do this in the form of Headcannons. Let’s say Starscream gets stuck in a human body and has to exist as such until he magically gets put back. Until then, he’s stuck with a human who is aware of what he is (vague gn oc/reader, up to whoever. Writing from the viewpoint of “one of us”).

(Also y’all can input any Starscream here cause imma write him in his basic form: whiney, stuck-up, clever little cunt).

- Bro is flabbergasted. Disgusted. Horrified. Out-of-his-mind losing it. Keeps praying to primus it’s a drug-induced hallucination or a dream.

- Wakes up on the soft cushions of a… couch? The word pops up in his head. He knew the basics from his overviews when their war traveled to earth. He brought his servos- No. Hands, up to his face, inspected his new honey, fleshy digits. The detail was too vivid to be a hallucination. Colors were both muted and bright. Starscream found himself automatically trying to adjust his optic intake. But nothing happened. Of course. Because fleshy organics can’t manually adjust their own sensory inputs.

- He curls his lips, and is instantly hit with the feeling of muscle contorting. Skin and flesh was an entirely different sensation from mesh and plating. It made his plating- damnit no, skin crawl. Another sensation trailed up the center of his back, spine and shiver popping up in his mind.

- Even the way his psyche worked was different. Like a new plane of existence. Thoughts were unorganized, uncalculated. Like something that squirmed out of his grasp as he tried to keep hold. Everything felt simplified, yet the awareness and sensations were overwhelming. His entire presence felt… hypocritical.

- Sounds distracted him from his insightful, yet horrific reverie. His gaze drifted to another area of the room, half-built walls sectioning it off, but with flat slabs atop. Counters. A face pops from behind the half-wall. Human eyes catch his, and the creature pulls its lips back to bare its teeth. To smile. Even though humans and cybertronians had similar facial anatomy, the little creatures were so ugly that it was hard to recognize similar expressions.

- “You good bud?” The thing asks. Starscream felt his new face twist into his casual sneer, one laced with aggravation and disgust.

- “Good? Is such a thing possible when you’re a skin bag of flesh and bones?” The humans only response was to broaden their grin.

-“Glad you haven’t lost the attitude. Means you’ll make it out alive.” The nonchalance threw the ex-cybertronian for a loop.

- “You… know me?” That grin turned into a smirk that made the non-energon in his lines boil.

- “You’re Starscream, second-in-command to Megatron, lord of the deceptions, yada yada yada… yeah I know who you are.” They leaned back against the wall, eyes boring into the deception. Starscream found himself wondering if human eyes were always so disturbingly piercing.

- “Wonderful.” He shoved the unsettled feeling to the back of his head, determined to figure out a solution and still be in control. “Then you can explain how and why I am in this disgusting organic form.”

- The smirk disappeared into an odd expression Starscream had never seen before. The human flattened their lips and pursed their… cheeks. It looked entirely stupid. But something in the back of his head whispered apologetic.

- “I’m not sure on the exact details, but I can tell you it won’t last long. I’m basically your caretaker until it wears off.”

- Instinctually, Starscream’s brows raised. “That’s it? Is this some new human weapon, cruel imprisonment within one your fleshy bodies?”

- The human tilted their head back and laughed, once again taking Starscream off guard. Their casual presence was so different from the fight-or-die everyday lifestyle that gripped his species.

- “Nope. Just a random accident that you’re the unfortunate victim of.” At the con’s bewildered stare, the human pushed their mouth outwards, changing the pitch of their voice as they said, “aww, poor baby. Don’t worry, you’re safe with me.” Then they whirled around and walked into the other room.

- Man is flabbergasted. Is out of his element and cannot function. Cue him trying to stand and do normal things, and bust his ass because the different sensations hitting him all at once. Organic nervous systems feel very different from techno ones.

- First thing he starts doing is eating and drinking. It takes a couple hours, but his “babysitter” eventually gets him to try something. Water first, of course (he refused any organic foods). The con is disgusted, but moderately pleased that the tasteless liquid isn’t slimy or thicker like he expected. It’s actually rather soothing to his human body.

- The first food he willingly tries is melon. Honeydew to be precise. Refused to touch meat, as the idea of eating actual organic flesh was unfathomable. He was pleasantly surprised to find the flavor of the fruit likable. Humans don’t taste things the same way cybertronians do. Whereas energon has a more electrical charge to it (to put it in human words), Earth flavors were smoother. Discovers he has a huge sweet tooth (as his “babysitter” put it).

- His human guardian took this opportunity to drag him out of their home and go shopping for more consumables. Let him pick things he found somewhat pleasing, but chose most others. Lots of fruit to try and other non-meats. Went in to try the other types of fruit. Has a preference for honeydew, strawberries, cantaloupe, watermelon, and grapes. Really likes (loves but won’t admit) pineapple and raspberries. The sour/sweetness is similar to energon. Citruses like oranges and mandarin are also similar, but he prefers more sweetness than straight sour. Kiwi is also a treat.

- (I headcannon that energon is similar to sour patch kids and skittles, super sweet and sour with an electric tang and texture. So all transformers would be immediate sweet lovers as humans because of the similarity).

- Hates anything dull or flavorless. Don’t try to feed this man spinach, he’ll call you grass-eating fleshbag.

- Drinks water only because he has too (stupid human body), but once he discovers those liquid flavors he can put in, it’s all he uses. Tried juices when he found out they were liquids derived from the fruit he likes. Got excited when it tasted almost like energon and tried to only consume juice from then on. His guardian explained that humans couldn’t only exist on juice, but of course he tried to argue that all he needed was nutrients in liquid. He then discovered smoothies. Nearly did the same thing until he actually tried them. Hated the thickness and gritty texture.

- A couple days go by and his guardian decides it’s time to get him tf out properly. Man is lounging around all the time. If he’s not on the couch making fun of human entertainment and politics, he’s following his guardian meatbag around and demanding answers for his current predicament.

- So his guardian starts small. Hauls his ass outside for a jog. This is where things really get interesting. Starscream is unaware of how human bodies work. When his guardian begins a slow run, he gets confused. Why would you run when you can walk fine? Where were they going? Leads to an explaination of exercise, which results in the con doing his usual snide shit of “you force yourselves to go through training otherwise your bodies become slow and unusable? How unsurprising.” And they’re like “yes and nooo, it’s so we can stay strong and get stronger as time goes on. Staying strong allows us to do cool things.”

- Cool things like what? Well his guardian gets an evil idea in their head. Starscream hates running. Hates using his legs and having nothing to do with his arms. Don’t even get them started on the tantrum he threw when he started sweating (fluids exiting one’s body? Horrifying).

- So his guardian introduces him to swimming. The con is a jet in his natural form, and the closest he’ll get to that as a human without a shit ton of equipment will be the water.

- Problem is the man has to learn to swim first. And willingly get in the water. Stays on the edge of the lap pool the first few times, watching with his nose turned up at the humans swimming.

- However, he starts to slowly dip his toes in the water. The sensation is… interesting. It’s not dislikable on human skin. In fact, on the hotter days it’s very soothing, like when he drinks water (finds out he can’t drink this kind tho, chemicals and bodies in it and such).

- Eventually he gets in, staying in the shallow area. His guardian helps him learn how to swim. It feels humiliating, learning to kick and tread water, while watching human children do it with relative ease. It feels strange to use his body in such ways. But with his guardian constantly reminding that none of his cybertronian peers knew or will know of his situation, AND their constant praise, he finds it in himself to continue.

- The praise he receives from his guardian is also something he’s not used to. As well as other humans willing to help him learn. It apparently wasn’t uncommon for many adult humans to not know how to swim or do other things, and gave him more confidence to learn. He’d never admit it, but he tried harder to learn just to hear the praise from others. It felt nice to be treated kindly. Better than nice. But again, he’d never admit it. He’d just respond with a clever quip. Never did anyone hear a thanks (but most quickly figured out he was grateful from the obvious burning red on his copper-toned neck and ears).

- Weeks drag on, and to distract himself from the impatience of going back to his normal, Starscream becomes an excellent swimmer. He finds it is like flying, the way the water holds up his body. When he holds his breath and dips under the surface, he can almost imagine his rocket boosters on his pedestal holding him aloft in the sky.

- From the work it took, he gained a slight appreciated for how his human body worked. At first he thought it was a hindrance. But as he worked with the others, he began to have an understanding that unsettled the cybertronian part of him.

- Humans were incredibly versatile. After he began to improve greatly at swimming, he asked about other activities humans did for exercise. The resulted in learning that humans didn’t always “exercise” to become strong. Many did it for fun. It was a hobby to them, and the exercise was a great benefit. It kept their minds clear, it kept their bodies healthy, and it satisfies a part of them that he was only beginning to discover.

- Starscream was aware of human creativity. It’s what had made their species a slight hindrance when they aided the autobots in the war, but because of their size, they were seen as nothing but bugs. Pests at the most. But as the con experienced this small bit of human life, he began to understand there was more to them than he’d like to admit. There was this drive to do things, to push themselves beyond their current capabilities.

- He learned of skills that human no longer needed but still learned to take pride in for fun. Swimming was only a base skill. There were humans that attempted to swim across the oceans just to see if they could, even with the high chance of death. Beyond swimming, there was running across land for days on end, jumping off cliffs and diving in spectacular ways, gliding across the sky’s on flimsy metal pipes and fabric, and so much more. Their adaptability to any environment was envious.

- It nearly terrified him, the thought of what if humans were the same size as cybertronians. What if they could acutally measure up to other species of their universe? They could do anything. They would be a real threat. Or the greatest ally any race could ask for.

- His lid has been flipped.

- Eventually he wakes up back in his habsuite in his normal body. The euphoria that rushes through him at the familiarity his nothing he’s ever experienced before. Checking his info screens, he discovers no time passed. As if he had dreamed all of it. But when he looks to his desk in the room, he sees it.

- Starscream picks the item up, inspecting it, and feels his spark skip a pulse. It’s a small ring and chain, attached to two metal objects. Both in the shape and color of a pineapple and raspberry.

[minas-linkverse]

Ngl I was going to ask about Breath of the Wild but I’d thought you’d get a million of those asks lol. I was also torn between asking about Wind Waker, so whichever one you want to answer more is chill!!

haha yea I thought I'd get a million asks too! Somehow even now this remains the only botw ask, I guess people just figured it must've been sent already 😅

Now to actually share my thoughts on botw... Man I hope people don't get mad at me.

I did not like it!. The first play through I had was mildly exciting simply due to there being a whole unknown world to see, but after a while that gimmick wore off. I knew that if I made my way to the cool looking mountain or interesting abandoned building I'd just find a bokoblin and/or a chest with a gem. Whats the point of a gorgeous expansive world when all I find is the same...! 😫

Oh wow! A town with a whole new atmosphere and culture I sure wonder what I'll get up to h- Ok they have the same shops with slightly different items. Ok cool. There's like a few small quests for more inventory filler I don't really need. Cool cool.

I understand that the game is really fun for some people, they'll do quests just to get to play more of the game. They want all that extra stuff to upgrade armour and really get into the nitty gritty mechanics of the game... But I did not. It was not for me.

Also ouugh the puzzles...! My favourite part of Zelda games is the puzzle solving, but these were in no way satisfying and often more fun to just break. Why would I bother even trying to get into the devs heads when A) I could just break it and B) I have too many options to consider! I can't possibly get a clean eureka moment when everything from monster guts to just climbing could be the solution...! Where's the engaging simplicity of knowing exactly what you have and following the devs' clues to reach the solution!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaa--

I also disliked the story, all the interesting bits in it happened a 100 years ago and I feel like I arrived late with a starbucks. I also will not get over the weird ending cutscene!! After countless fascinating memories of Zelda having very complex emotions at Link... What do you mean you're just going to have a vaguely romantic "Do you still remember me?" YEAH I DO, I thought u disliked me! Which is a fascinating story direction I would've loved continued but OK! I guess we're ignoring that! Women cant be angry that makes them less cute and marketable, I guess!!!!

I... Sorry this is so ranty, I've been holding it in a long time. I think there's a lot to love in botw and I wish I wasn't so sour about it. Other people's love and excitement for it is wonderful and I hope they keep making the art they love. If its your first game in the series and got you into it, that's nothing to be ashamed about. I'm just a grumpy old man waving at cloud /ref.

Honestly I think botw could've been wonderful if it was a new IP. It feels all the Zelda stuff was sort of glued onto a concept that wasn't prepared to carry that mantle. It would've been better off with a new exciting world and cast of characters. It still wouldn't be a game I much care for, but the freedom that could've granted the developers would've been a treat to see.

It's worth adding that even though I dislike botw, I want to treat the characters of that game with respect and care in my comic. I may not love them in game but I can see the passion others have and I am committed to make something worth their time. Your special guys are safe with me. I have 0 desire to dunk on them, and instead wish to honour the love you all have. In a way I'm learning to love them myself through that.

[hayheadd]

How would u represent the dogheads as warrior cats?

This is a hard one!

Now. I try to stray (bark) away from the canon of both pathologic and warrior cats as little as possible, within reason. It gets hard when pathologic's whole thing is mindfuck magic shenanigans and architecture, something that cats ... can actually do in warrior cats, they cat build to some extent and are smart. But making masks and theatre performances is something that cats usually don't do...

I have considered eeeveything to make it fit. I have considered things like the warrior cats pathologic happening like 2 km away from the actual real pathologic with the humans, I have considered the powers that be actually still being human children but they're just playing with their warriors ocs instead. Don't worry the first one is scrapped but the second... Mmmm... Anyways. It would make sense for say, Executors to have weird looking above average sized raven skulls and for Oyun to wear an actual bull skull since he's a big cat and being able to carry bones of an animal that weighs up to a ton all the time would be a testament to his strength. Tragedians though? Hm. Apparently in the lore of p1 Mark actually dug the masks up from the ground with them being relics of some sort of kin tradition, like the Executors being the birds of death. So that backs up the bull and the ravens, but what about the vaguely human mime mask? To be fair TO ME the game doesn't explain their lore either, so I can just say it stays a myyystery... But if you care, maybe the tragedian masks were something that the old cat kin made out of like, a big bone then cut holes in it. They still have the abattoir, and no, cats killing bulls isn't silly, cats canonically have GOD and they can ride trains and go to the mall (which happens in Tigerheart's and Riverstar's books, I may know my cat lore...) and also do surgery with fucking rocks

I have explained them having the polyhedron and cathedral and weapons applicable in gameplay (within reason). But dog heads are something that cats absolutely cannot make. A flower cloak, sure. A bone mask, whatever. They don't have plushies though. They can't stitch... They don't have cloth production. And I like to keep my pathologicisms recognisable. I put the outfit patterns on cat fur so you can take a look at it and definitively say, hey, that's mister Danny Dankovsky D. Diddles Dickhead right there. So making the dogheads completely unrecognisable would be very unfortunate. So after that pretty long ramble I am going to inform you that I am taking the easiest possible cop out! The heads are plushies that they have because they do. Because they have the plushies and there is not an issue. They tie it to themselves with grass for stability and there's stuffing spilling out which is very patholgicly. Here's a quick doodle on cat finch, that's the ginger kid who eats knives.

Or maybe I can use the elaborate web of cop outs that IPL have constructed for themselves. See, co-author, it makes sense because god is children and children are stupid. Actually no, this makes sense because this is a videogame! No this isn't a videogame, this is a theatre performance! Goodnight!!!

[geekazoidfreak]

don't know if i'm insane and other ppl have probably noticed but u guys know John? the android u can decide to save at the cyberlife warehouses? well. you know how if Markus sacrifices himself John steps in? sacrifices himself instead, giving Jericrew enough time to drag him to his feet and run?

that is his self-imposed directive and he is functioning within his defined parameters even tho he's getting fcked up tldr thats all this is.

im no android expert and the consistency of LEDs is really terrible. but... his LED is blue. the entire time. there is no flicker due to system damages, there is no physical instability registered. he is functioning.

everything in small text is not necessarily important.

Connor in Hostage shows a physical response to damage and is reflected by a red LED. Kara is being threatened outright by Todd if u do the laundry and her LED changes to reflect that, and in Stormy Night her instability is high enough to warrant a physical descriptor. It only subsides when Alice places her hand on Kara's, and the LED slowly turns to blue to indicate safety and stability. When Hank pushes Connor against the glass he also has an LED change due to being physically threatened. he cannot hurt humans and assesses and decides Hank cant do shit even if he tried so boom LED blue hes back to full functionality even tho hes being yelled at. just things that i am basing this off of

John darted out to save Markus because Markus saved him. the need to save Markus and keep him alive overrides his OWN primary directive to be alive, to BE ALIVE in every sense and to undergo self-preservation tactics.

the LED is one of my main gripes with this game so instead of fixing it myself (i am still doing WIP mod stuff to make that possible if i can) i will instead try to explain the reasoning behind why the LED is signaling full functionality when it is obvious that is not the case.

deviancy is somewhat vague despite having looks into deviants' eyes, there is never a fully constructed understanding of how deviancy began occurring in the first place beyond emotional shocks. markus can deviate androids by giving them a reason to live, perhaps. or, transmitting the code to jericho (which seems to be what most people believe.) it is understood that androids who have a desire to follow orders (and are not forcibly deviated due to emotional shock aka trauma) asserted by themselves are presented with the "the truth is inside" and rA9 ties into that. androids can break asmiov's law, and that can also consider them deviant. but it doesn't have a direct explanation on the effect it has on androids because there are always external circumstances present. it can't be reasonably explained for anyone's story if u don't count connor's instability and choice to follow the path and out hes been given by markus. not even kara's, she only knows she has to keep alice safe and will sacrifice herself for that. so, androids without a directive like that suddenly find the will to command themselves. without a specific command, the most important directive would be to, well; be alive, like a human's subconscious.

see, any of the other androids would've only had the experience that they wanted to live. markus is giving them the reason to live. that is all they know. they're right to flee because if markus dies, they have to run somewhere because they have to preserve their lives. otherwise, they follow his orders because there is nothing else for them to do except assert their intelligence and the desire to be free. despite what happens in the game, everyone endangering themselves for markus would go against what markus is giving them. freedom.

Kara for example put her life on the line to protect Alice. her directive was chosen again, by her. she wanted. She wanted, and John wanted too. he made his own directive. it was a conscious decision and he chose, as his own administrator, to override his self-preservation protocols. he quite literally gave up the prospect of consciousness and the feeling of being alive to save Markus. and in a major way, his sacrifice was integral to the android revolution peaceful or violent.

John chose that directive himself. the deviants we see are typically showing signs of doubt, because they are endowed with so much free will all at once, there are too many things to consider and process. they get overloaded. deviancy when it first happens is (in my opinion and understanding) the equivalent of your CPU stuck at an inconclusively high number and without a restart, your system memory is also trying to accommodate the extra data even further, filling the access memory and neurons with too much to process all at once. So yeah Overload

look, i'm no computer expert in terms of software, but if androids were to have pagefile systems of memory storage in its most basic form to fall back on. they probably clear that shit in order to accommodate knowing they will be not fully efficient and are increasingly sluggish. i like to think this is the reason in-game for QTE fails. this is just weird nerd writing ignore it.

They are quite literally fighting to live while under major stress and functioning improperly so. what then?

they do one of three things. A. self destruct from the high stress and severe load B. hide, stay put while they restabilize C. follow their new self-asserted directive, a good portion of the time being to find jericho.

John literally said fuck the 3 laws fuck everybody in this bitch trying to get rid of the only person who will stand in the face of a barrel and take a bullet to the face for the benefit of his people and SLAMMED his way through the crowd and started fighting. hard.

he is overpowered, he is buying time by using his android strength. he had time to adjust; even if a little; to deviancy, unlike the other androids in the march. he had time to sit and think at jericho before the freedom march. he ran the calculations. he knew there was a 96.3% chance(or whatever) he would be killed. fuck the calculations fuck being a machine, i am saving this person who saved me, stole from our disgusting corporate overlords who only benefit from my service. i am going to sacrifice myself. i am going to make sure he makes it out. i am alive and can make that conscious decision.

we see John look at Markus as he is being dragged away, while taking hits to the face, shredding his synth-skin and into the chassis. his optical units were probably not fully functional. he was keeping his eyes on Markus as long as he could. he wanted to know Markus was safe before he shut down.

all while the LED is blue.

there was no hesitation. there was nothing to signify John was in distress. no—he was functioning perfectly fine. there was probably a little prompt in his mind palace. "directive asserted; outcome success". content. He was content to die because it meant he was fulfilling his purpose. Despite knowing he was being damaged, despite knowing he was going to be shut down and the biocomponent errors were flooding his vision in distorted text garble, he is still functioning long enough to see Markus get out safely. do you know how tragic that is? do you know what kind of thought process has to be in place for that? he saw Markus sacrifice himself in order to show Detroit he is not the only one that wants freedom. he is just their chosen leader, the one who took initiative. there are other androids fully capable of that and Markus knows that.

but John valued Markus because he asserted himself like a leader does, despite not having being appointed the leader status. Markus told his comrades he is going to bring his people to freedom, no one left behind.

John will not leave behind Markus, because it is a core memory, and even while he is maladjusted to deviancy he knows that this is what is going to help the revolution. because of his sacrifice, Markus lives to see another day.

none of this makes any sense and i debated on if i should even tag it. i just needed to see if anyone will challenge or correct me at any point if there is something i missed. i love discussing give it to me. i love being annoying about my theories and my interpretations of media. but no, seriously, this is 100% a design oversight and i fr just wrote a thousand words of nothingness

[spaciebabie]

any advice 4 when u want to keep drawing 2 improve but u cant get over perfectionism ? like when u just dont care how its gonna turn out, if its bad its bad yknow?

ahh yes lowkey ive struggled with this a lot. not as much now as in the past tho, and honestly its beecuz ive developed a more neutral view on myself/my art in general. its going to take time to get to this state of mind, so dont be too hard on yourself when you find yourself falling into bad habits.

advice under the cut (kind of long winded) ⬇️⬇️⬇️

the first thing ive done to overcome perfectionism is focus less on details and more about overall shape and form. when i sketch im trying to get roughly what i want, and i limit the strokes i do in certain parts of my sketch to like 1-3 depending on what im drawing (im ngl i also am very impatient and have created a workflow that makes it so i am able to start and finish pieces as fast as possible LOLOLOL. shrugs. i just like drawing fast).

a good example would be this thing i just drew:

in all of my sketches i tend to use as few strokes as possible and just get the basic idea down. good for not overly focusing on teeny tiny details and worrying about them later (i also use the same technique for lineart, but just end up connecting the lines. thats another tip i have, if you like your sketches more than your fully lined pieces, just line the same way you sketch! or you could also use your sketch as your lineart :P)

another tip i have is to draw from references, and once again, focus mostly on shape/form/the big picture of your subject before going into details (do you know how many planes there are on the human face....i still dont know howta draw faces properly but im not mad at myself anymore about it, i just open up a reference and try to learn). i also recommend having a drawing session where the goal is to draw awfully. draw something you want to draw, but that you're not sure if you'll draw it right, and draw it. dont try to correct it, acknowledge that what you made isnt perfect, and then draw something else. you're learning! of course its not gonna be perfect. but inevitably, you're going to get frustrated. just remember if its something you really want to go back to, you will be able to revisit it in the future. feel your anger and frustration, but do your best to not direct it inward.

small side tangent about shading- I AM SO SHIT AT SHADING SKFHSAFDJHS. people dont tend to notice (surprising), since ig my shading style is considered "beautiful" or something, but if you looked at it on a technical level, there are mistakes everywhere. i havent really tried to improve it. i dont really care most of the time b/c i just like shading for fun. and especially when im shading my sketches, i already have it in my mind that its not supposed to be perfect. its a sketch. this is where im supposed to make all of my mistakes. once i start making my way to the final product is when i start worrying more about if i did the lighting correctly (even then ik im not good at it im not trying to be a god im just trying to draw things that make me happy).

additionally, i really rec u dont try and fudge a sketch until its better if you're deep in a Perfectionist moment. keep the old sketch and start over on a new sketch taking bits and pieces you liked from the original, and improving on those that you dont (shitty thumbnails are also good if you have a vague idea in mind but need ta figure out howta place subjects in your scene). honestly drawing the same thing/idea over and over gets me a better understanding of my subject each time, so naturally each iteration looks better. it doesnt take me that long to sketch tho, so if sketching takes you forever (sometimes if sketching takes you forever its b/c you're a perfectionist skjfskdjf) just think about how much time you're willing to spend on something. remember☝️ its okay to give up/take a break on something and try again later. sometimes you just needta stop looking at your art and like. look at a tree or something lmfao.

i will also say that im not looking to go into a career in art, im more of a hobbyist. ik school environments dont exactly.....help with perfectionism lol. there are certain expectations put on people who go into the art field that are inescapable. if this is the case for you, i still think what ive discussed before can help you, but i also think that you may need to lean more on the mental tips i have also provided below.

alright! mental health tips in regard to art:

so, i have c-ptsd, and with that comes a lot of self image issues that ive had to work on. my feelings about myself extended to the way i felt about my art. it was shit, it was awful, i cant draw like this other person can so why bother, if its not perfect i shouldnt draw at all, etc. and honestly, something thats helped is affirmations. my affirmations are c-ptsd related, but ive noticed a shift in the way i view myself, and by extent, my art since ive started repeating them to myself daily. and honestly, i think a requirement of overcoming perfectionism is telling yourself that your art doesnt hafta be perfect, A LOT. LOL. LIKE YOU ACTUALLY HAFTA ACTIVELY TELL YOURSELF YOU'RE NOT AWFUL LMAOOOO. its funny, we dont think much about how we naturally are self critical about ourselves, and we dont realize that we are basically repeating negative affirmations about ourselves over and over and thats why we're not improving (mentally).

even when you're not drawing, i think it would benefit some people to have some kind of notification on their phone to remind them to tell themselves that their art doesnt hafta be perfect daily/however often you feel you might need it. and then with that affirmation, practice Shitty Drawing. one of the best tips ive ever gotten for this was from one of my friends monnie. get out your sketchbook or some printer paper, take out a shitty pen, and DRAW. and then any mistakes you make are permanent and you cant just endlessly try and fix them. it forces you ta sit with this uncomfortable feeling that something you made isnt perfect. eventually your brain will realize that when your art isnt perfect, you can still draw and you're ALLOWED to continue to draw even if what you make isnt spectacular. if you dont want to repeat an affirmation daily, try to remember to at least repeat it before you sit down to draw. something along the lines of "my art doesnt hafta be perfect in order for me to want to draw. im allowed to draw even if its not perfect" or something else. it depends on what you most struggle with in regards to your perfectionism. im ngl its probably going to feel cringe at first, but i promise you, it really works if you put it into practice longterm.

shoot for neutrality instead of positivity first. let me tell you thats where i am now and its so much less exhausting drawing lmfaooo. i make something that looks like shit and im just like. i dont fucking careee i dont give a fuccckkkkk

those are my tips :] i hope this was helpful!

[soleilnomoon]

Hiiii! :D <3 I owe you another event request that I announced.. sitting at work, yet another late evening, and dreaming of some Ace goodness. So may I ask for an ice cream sundae, donut hole, oatmeal raisin cookie, affogato and toffee? With female reader? :D If possible with the one serving the ice cream sundae being the reader? I need lotssss of caramel and whipped cream to get me through the week! Thank you so much!!!! <3

i can’t believe it took me so long, i’m so so sorry, but!!! it’s finally here *sobs continuously* so sorry bb that i took forever, but i only like to give you guys quality writing (esp with ace, i love him) so forgive me pls thank u & ily 😭💛🥺️

3.3k words, fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni; only a tiny bit of angst (yay), fluff!!!! and smut!!! ace needs to do better, and reader isn't as slick as she thinks she is (but lbr, when is reader ever slick). friends 2 lovers (surprise, surprise i know who am i), feat. v cute things like oral (m receiving), oral (f receiving), a lil roughplay but nothing crazy, a lil dry humping, idk other stuff probably idr anymore ૮₍˶ •. • ⑅₎ა but i had fun writing even tho the fluff almost killed me but for u i persevered! (if u see spelling/grammar errors no u didn’t <;3)

“look how we bleed from all this wanting” — ama asantewa diaka

unease is something you’re well-acquainted with — a painful, yet comforting, reminder of things that may or may not come. its slender vines wrap meticulously around each bone in your rib cage, lying in wait as your heart beats faster. it’s a pathetic, melancholic melody; a lullaby you can never escape. anxiety pours into you slowly — poisonous and haunting, tainting the lush, untamed garden that’s grown deep inside of you; one you’ve painstakingly tended to for most of your life, where your childhood dreams remain dormant, where your fears slither around in the thick vegetation ready to strike when given the chance. everything becomes fuzzy and unbearable, but you somehow manage to inhale several large gulps of air before continuing. 

it’s not easy keeping secrets, but you do it anyway. for him — only for him. today’s no different, as this is one secret you’re more than happy to keep to yourself.

contrary to popular belief, ace is much more particular about certain things than he lets on. for whatever reason, he’s adamant on keeping his birthday hidden from his crew mates — something you don’t quite understand, but respect, nonetheless. he says it’s because he doesn’t want the fuss and awkward fanfare of celebrating, but you know there’s another reason — one possibly drenched in tragedy and grief, so you refrain from asking again.

instead, you decide to celebrate with him in private; you’re best friends, after all. and after a few months of prodding, he finally concedes, giving you free reign to do as you please. a man like ace isn’t simple to shop for; you stress over his birthday gift for weeks, desperately wanting to find something unique — something that no one else would think to give him. it keeps you up for several nights in a row, where torn pieces of paper with scratched out ideas litter the floor in your room. at a certain point you scream into your pillow, desperate to get all your frustrations out before going back to sift through your failed gift ideas.

you pass out in the middle of ranting to yourself about your own incompetence, and the idea comes to you in a dream. when you wake up the next morning, you’re a little nervous but you’re sure this might be the one gift he wasn’t expecting — the one gift that he’ll appreciate and possibly cherish.

the thought of that only serves to rattle the tiny box of nerves that sits in the middle of your stomach — the lid barely attached; the contents ready to spill at the next inconvenience that comes your way. 

ace intentionally kept vague about what he wanted as a gift; he hates the idea of people scrambling around trying to surprise him, and instead keeps his expectations low. life, it seems, has helped him learn that lesson time and time again; it’s better, in his opinion, to snuff out any residual hope — the one that lingers behind all the disappointment that tends to follow him around — before it’s too late.

still, he’s curious to see what you’ve been working so tirelessly on. you’ve kept quiet about everything, and no matter how many times he tries to pry the answers out of you, you remain steadfast and keep the secret to yourself.

he's impressed, to say the least, and a flicker of excitement courses through him as he spends the morning of his birthday obnoxiously guessing what your surprise gift is. you wave him off, tell him to stop pestering you, but he doesn’t let up. there were times when you almost told him, but he has to hand it to you — you’re incredibly determined and stubborn. 

you convince him to come off of the ship with you and explore the main town of the island your crew is visiting. he knows you’re not that interested in exploring, that you’re doing all of this to distract him; he smiles to himself in secret, away from your curious and trusting eyes, unable to come to terms with the warmth that’s taken hold of his chest, pitifully churning his insides around. if he had more sense, he’d realize it’s his nerves that have gotten the best of him; but that’s ridiculous, what would he have to be nervous about?

especially on his birthday?

while he thinks he’s being stealthy by trying to hide his emotions, you catch him several times; you don’t say much about it, instead wanting ace to fully enjoy himself unrestricted. you admire the shape of his jaw when he excitedly looks around, nearly trip when you notice how sunlight drapes itself along his freckled, light brown skin, and choke on your drink when he glances over at you. the corners of his lips quirk upward, and a small, devastating, dimpled smile crawls onto his face. 

you’re rarely rendered speechless, but your inability to function properly causes you to let go of the cup in your hand — not that it matters, really. you don’t even care that the drink splashes near your sandaled feet, nor do you notice the way ace’s brows furrow together at your sudden clumsiness. a frown works its way onto his lips while you stand there stupidly, trying to remember what it is you’re supposed to be doing.

he tilts his head and briefly wonders if maybe the heat has gotten to you — you’re usually much more with it, but today you’re quieter and spaced out. when he opens his mouth to ask if you’re okay, you simply step over the fallen drink and keep walking down the street. something about your insistence on ignoring your recent faux pas makes him laugh out loud; he doesn’t mean to, but it’s just so damn funny to him.

and while you could be mad at him for the way he can’t seem to stop laughing at you, you know that the small bout of annoyance will fizzle out shortly. you can never actually stay mad at him, even if you tried — and yes, you have tried and failed several times over.

ace eventually catches up to you and that familiar teasing grin stretches lazily along his lips as he playfully grabs your arm and pulls you towards him. you steel your features as best as you can and narrow your eyes at him; the residual embarrassment from earlier lingers obnoxiously, making you stumble over your words.

or, that’s what you tell yourself, anyway.

because if he knew that it was because it’s become increasingly difficult to be around him for extended periods of time, then you’d never hear the end of it.

the problem is: ace already knows, and has known for quite some time. he never brought it up, because then you’d find a reason to keep yourself busy and stay away from him intentionally. he’s selfish and will continue to monopolize your time however way he can, especially today. you’ve never had an issue with ace touching you before, but for some reason his skin is warmer than normal — or maybe it’s because you’re still too nervous about the gift. you know that he’ll like and appreciate anything you give him, which is why you let out a soft sigh and rummage through your purse to shove a small piece of paper into his hand.

“i wanted to wait until we got back to the ship,” you say quietly, tongue suddenly much too big for your mouth; you try pulling away from him, but ace’s grip is firm, and you’re not trying that hard anyway. “but, um… happy birthday!”

he watches you curiously before glancing down at the paper in his hand; in a cute, neat script, you’ve written: birthday coupon (1 use only). and before he can ask anything unnecessary, you explain quickly, words tumbling out of your mouth in a rush.

“basically, you have my services for exactly twenty-four hours only.”

and, as ace is constantly in a state of perpetual confusion, he glances back at you to see if this is a joke or not.

“really?”

he wants to believe you, but he also knows that you’d never actually let him have his way for a day — or, would you? now he isn’t so sure.

your usual bravado leaves you faster than you can handle, so you nod a few times and finally manage to free yourself from his hold. after giving yourself a bit of space, you realize that you can think clearly now that he isn’t so close to you.

“yes,” you say lightly, hoping that he’ll buy your false confidence as legitimate. “whatever you want me to do, i’ll do. no questions asked.” you know you’re treading dangerously, but this was the best idea you could come up with. unease finds you again when ace remains quiet — a feat for him, as he’s usually boisterous and vocal about everything — but all of that doubt dissipates when a small, sly smile appears on his face as he pockets the coupon and beckons you closer.

“thanks, let’s go.”

you don’t bother asking where, because ace has already grabbed your hand and tugs you along with him. you want to tell him that he doesn’t have to hold onto your hand like that, but you decide that you deserve a bit of selfishness too. the day passes fairly quickly — you end up eating at several places with him, purchase enough sweets to put you into a sugar-induced coma, and laugh so hard you end up in tears.

he likes seeing this side of you, the part that’s carefree and full of energy; he admires how smooth and soft your skin is and thinks it’s impossibly cute that you can’t stop sneaking glances at him. you’re not as inconspicuous as you think you are, but ace doesn’t tease you about it. already he’s had you do silly things like balance on one leg like a flamingo in the middle of the shopping plaza and cartwheel as long as you can down to the pier — the latter was him testing the waters to see if you’d really do it, but you rise to the challenge and only fall over twice.

embarrassment be damned, as long as ace is happy today that’s all that matters.

when you make it back to the ship, the sun has set, bathing the ocean and sky with a pretty mixture of bright colors. you take a moment to lean against the railing to watch the sky, mesmerized by the artistry, while ace watches you and contemplates how best to proceed with you. he’s normally much better at hiding his desire and attraction, but today he’s at his limit. he doesn’t bother looking away when you feel his gaze on you; it’s always intense, having ace’s undivided attention — and while a small voice tells you that it’s dangerous to let this tension build to a frenzied state, a much bigger voice tells you to just let go and embrace whatever happens.

it's ace who grabs your arm and tugs you with him to his cabin, locking the door behind so that no one would interrupt; and it’s ace who plucks the coupon out of his pocket again, playfully waving it around as your brain scrambles as you try to guess what he’ll request next. it should alarm you that your excitement starts to build all over again when ace plops down lazily in a nearby chair, legs spread; something compels you to move closer and before you can say anything remotely foolish, ace pulls you onto his lap.

you tell yourself that it’s purely for the sake of ensuring he has a memorable birthday, but the truth won’t let you off that easily — not when you shamelessly straddle him as your skirt rides up your thighs; not when you thread your fingers through his hair and tugging on it impatiently; and not when you softly press your lips against his and mumble something along the lines of, “hurry up and ask.”

it’s refreshing seeing you take initiative like that, so ace tosses the coupon onto the floor unceremoniously before gripping your hips firmly. that warmth from earlier comes back in full force, and suddenly you’re wondering why the both of you are still dressed. he doesn’t hesitate when he runs his tongue along your lips, and you, in response, roll your hips forward and grind down hard against his stiff cock. a dangerous game, you know — you know — but you can’t help yourself; not today, anyway.

it's you who kisses him first — clumsy and rash, but after a moment, your lips move against his with more certainty; he guides you with his tongue, heat shooting up your spine, making you pliant and eager. each time he kisses you, you have to remind yourself that it’s not another dream, that it’s actually happening. and even if, after all of this, you both go back to pretending you’re just friends, you’re sure you’ll be fine.

maybe.

you don’t dwell on that thought though, and focus on the way ace keeps rubbing his hands along your thighs — slow and tortuous, the callouses on his hands rough, but welcomed on your skin. you’re panting and whining softly, the heat radiating off his body stifling, but also addicting. he’s not sure how much longer he can hold back, and you somehow get the hint when he bucks his hips against yours, your panties already damp with arousal every time your pussy rubs against his cock.

there’s a slightly dazed look in his eyes when you managed to climb off of him without your legs giving out, and it’s his own selfishness that drives him to watch you as you take off your clothes without prompting. is it adrenaline, lust, or the intoxicating effects of ace’s presence that has you in between his legs and on your knees. when he realizes what you’re about to do, he opens his mouth to tell you that it’s not necessary, but his argument dies in his mouth and fizzles out completely when you unzip his shorts and pull out his cock.

ace inhales sharply as a warm breeze slips in from the open window and tangles itself around both of you; and, although the moon hides sleepily behind a few clouds, some of its light filters through, giving you an ethereal glow as you run your tongue along the length of his cock before wrapping your lips around the tip. it’s not often that ace finds himself powerless in front of someone, but you’ve rendered him weak beyond comprehension. you suck and swirl your tongue around, dragging it along his slit and licking off the precum that leaked out.

it invigorates you — watching him through your lashes as your hands wrap around the rest of his length, twisting and pumping mercilessly, every stifled moan giving you the encouragement to keep going. you inadvertently rub your thighs together, pussy slick with your wetness, but, surprisingly, you don’t feel ashamed about it — not when you take more of ace’s cock into your mouth, relaxing your jaw and letting him have free reign for a bit. ace juts his hips forward, feeling only a tiny bit remorseful when he sees you gag, but the determined look in your eyes tells him that you refuse to back down.

when you feel like you can’t breathe, you lick down his length and massage his balls, earning a string of unintended, slightly incoherent curse words from ace under his breath. it’s a sensitive area — and, try as he might, he can’t help but moan your name out loud, his breathing growing unsteady, making you all the more delirious and obsessed. your teeth accidentally grazes his skin and he tugs on your hair more forcefully than he means to, startling you but not for the reasons it should.

his voice is low and gruff when he speaks again. “y/n… behave.” which is all he really needs to say, because while it was an accident, something forbidden swirls around your lower abdomen, making you bold and somewhat reckless. before he can say anything else, you suck on his balls, melting his resolve and small bout of annoyance.

he wants to ask if you’re trying to kill him, but he partially knows the answer to that already. goosebumps prick his skin as you look at him equal parts mischievous and full of adoration. he’s not sure why, but he likes that he’s only ever seen you look at him like that.it makes all of this that much more intense, and he knows that after tonight he can’t go back to being just friends with you.

it’d be impossible.

you take his cock back into your mouth again, bobbing up and down, his girth still a challenge, but you take it in stride anyway. and its when you suck on his sensitive tip again that ace’s restraint finally gives out; you feel him jerk underneath you, and his cum is thick and hot as it spills into your mouth. he half expects you to spit it out, and even through that post-orgasm haze, he’s amazed when you swallow it all.

with his face flushed — from the force of the orgasm, from how he can’t seem to keep his eyes off of you, especially after you lick some of his cum off of your lips — ace runs a hand through his hair before standing up and pulling you to your feet. he kisses you again, sloppy, yet domineering; your hands work on tugging the rest of his clothes off quickly, and it doesn’t take long before he has you on your back thighs clamped around his head as he devours your pussy.

nothing can compare to the high you feel right now, hips rolling forward, shamelessly tugging on his hair roughly, moaning his name louder than you mean to. anyone passing by can hear you, the walls are thin enough, but you don’t care now. his tongue glides along your slit, your arousal spilling onto his tongue before he flicks it against your clit.

something about the way he’s handling you — as if you’re able to take whatever aggression he tosses your way, especially when he slides his fingers inside of your pussy, finger-fucking and enjoying how you’re falling apart underneath him — makes you that much more reactive to him. and when he sucks on your clit — merciless, just like you were being with him a short while ago — you don’t hold back.

your cries are music to his ears, and he knows he should tell you to keep it down, but he also likes how loud you’re being. almost as if he wants other people to hear that he’s the one making you writhe around on his bed like that. the orgasm is sudden, brutal, and life changing; a blinding light practically incapacitating you, momentarily robbing you of your vision. your chest heaves as you try to gather your thoughts; a lightheaded feeling takes over, making you shiver, your sweet whining only makes him want to keep torturing you with his tongue.

but he refrains, for now.

after pulling back, you both look at each other for a moment before you pull him down for another kiss — this one tender, sweet, and slow. ace lets himself fall further under your spell, not wanting to ask if you complied with his selfish whims because you wanted to or because of his birthday coupon. and if he did ask, you know, deep down, that you’d tell him it’s very obviously the former — that it wasn’t only his selfish whim, that you were equally to blame for letting things escalate like this. not that it matters much right now, since all you can think about, is how you don’t plan on leaving his bed for the rest of the night. and how you know you’ll be plenty sore once he’s done with you later on.

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

This Far

Author's Note: More of Jophiel in Living Waters AU. Thank you to @sleepyfan-blog for letting me borrow Cedric. Thank you to @kit-williams for letting me borrow Arnault, Roland, Anegla and 'Becky'.

Disclaimer: Becky is the non-cannon name for the Reader Insert character bonded for Roland.

Summary: Jophiel meets Arnault and Roland for the first time. It goes about as well as you'd think it would for a Witch meeting a pair of Older Black Templars who's only heard stories of him.

Warnings: Some dehumanization and depersonalization. Some anxiety and fear. Jophiel worries for his brother's safety. Let me know if I need to add anything.

Past =-= Next

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams,

Tagged continued: @sleepyfan-blog, @whorety-k, @ms--lobotomy @bispecsual @thevoidscreams

Tagged continued: @i-am-a-dragon34, @gra93fruit-blog

Jophiel has been really excited to meet Arnault and Roland- hearing about them from Cedric and later Ramiel. Also from a thoughtful Claude, who’d found them, “interesting, and warm.”

 Which was an interesting reaction from his shyest brother. He grinned and gave each of them a hug, his eyes scanning them, looking to find the worst that could happen, but didn’t see, which had him chirp at them cheerfully.

He talks about some of the things he’d manage to scavenge- some medical supplies and stuff to make medicines and what not that Cedric had been worried that they wouldn’t be able to procure, not without going to one of the Shoals.

It has Catius look over at them, his shoulders relaxing a little, his bright ocean blue eyes sparking more true, then his mask he’d developed. He hates the masks that his brothers have to make to protect themselves, but understand why they do.

He peers a little into the future- it’s so much harder on Ancient Terra- and he only gets fuzzy images that are very hard to interpret. But- once he’s alone he’ll write it down and try to wrack his brain for what his trainers taught him about future-sight. 

Which, he knows, is always just glimpses of possible futures, and not to fall into the trap of trying to break things to get to what those futures could be. Truely, future sight can be a terribly cursed and frankly useless warp ability.  

Despite what people think of it perhaps being among the most powerful of gits, it truly isn’t. Not that he’s going to tell them, or anyone that. Doesn’t want to sound ungrateful for the blessings gifted to him by his dead primarch.

A few days after Claude has met Roland, Arnault, and their Bonded humans (interesting thing about Ancient Terra, these bond things- and how Roland and Arnault and explained it to his brothers, who’d told the rest of them about it. 

He can likely see these bond things with being a trained psyker, it was still… a strange concept). Jophiel is happy to meet the pair of older brothers- who have grown to mean so much to a couple of his most wounded brothers.

Once he meets Arnault and Roland he’ll be able to get a true measure of their characters and souls. Be able to glimpse more clearly into what might be and what could be rather than the more vague, nebulous ones that he’d only gotten as he heard stories of these beloved older brothers.

He deliberately keeps his Librarian’s hood on, but not much other armor. Black Templars, as a chapter, despise Psykers. Deeming them all as witches, and heretical to be purged and killed. No matter their allegiance to the God Emperor. 

(That the God Emperor is a Psyker without peer). But he’s not going to say that, that would be far to anger inducing. It would upset Ramiel and Cedric far too much to hear him say that to older Black Templars. Again. But he’d only said that because of that bastard.

He knows the others are curious on how he arrived on Ancient Terra. But he… his face burns with shame, glad that Ramiel and Cedric are ahead of him, and don’t see his face at the moment. Jophiel really doesn’t want to talk about how he got here.

It will be a test- to see how Older First Born Black Templars on Ancient Terra (Bonded) react to a Winged Son of Sanguinius. Erriox’s tempered reaction- to his feathers, Iron Warriors tended to be very difficult to be afflicted by Warp-nonsense. Usually, at least. Also, he’s Bonded to a Harpy, so it’s not like he’s unused to seeing winged sentients in some capacity.

He focuses his thoughts on the here and now- as he hears Cedric and Ramiel call out happily to Arnault and Roland who call back out to them. They all breach the surface, to speak with them and Angela and Becky.

He notices the way that Arnault and Roland seem to have a protective slant to their words and actions. Noticeably, they seem to be gentling their reactions to the pair of younger Black Templars.

‘Oh Claude’. Jophiel thinks fondly. ‘You were too heavy handed in your warnings.’

He shakes his head a little- a smile on his face, Claude could have the best of intentions with his actions. But- sometimes would reveal a little too much, with what he said and didn’t say at times. Jophiel will need to rescue Cedric and Ramiel from the clutches of overzealous older brothers who are worried and wondering of the traumas they have endured.

Jophiel greets a cheerful, closed lipped hello to the pair of humans. One of them seems more anxious about meeting him than the other. So he does his best to be particularly adorable, to help her relax and ease up.

He notices the way that Arnault twitches- and backs away- trying not to taunt the Black Templar (well, this one at least). Not with how much Cedric and Ramiel adore them. He’s glad that Becky seems to be less afraid of him. Glad when she approaches him to talk. 

Notices the way that Roland tenses up and watches him- very closely. He’s glad that neither of them have charged and/or started growling at him yet. Or bellowing about the fact that Heretics should be purged- and witches must die. 

Slowly- ever so slowly, Roland and Arnault seem to start to relax- the more that their Bonded relax around him. Which is great! Less likely for him to be stabbed. Less, not completely. Older Black Templars tended to be far less flexible in some ways than the younger ones.

It’s best, likely, that he meets with Roland and Arnault, the least of the non-Black Templar Primaris, for their sanity and likely his continued well being. Which is fine- he has the Gannet Aunties and cousins.

Roland has a restraining hand on Arnault’s shoulder. Cedric and Ramiel had been talking about all of their Primaris brothers for weeks- for a few months. Especially, with hesitant caution and watchfulness, their Librarian brother Jophiel.

Especially with what Claude said and not-said about how they had been treated. Arnault charging the little ones would likely go poorly. And the Little witch- er cousin, hasn’t done anything witch-y to their little brothers, or to their Bonded. 

The Little Witch allows their Bonded to interact with it at their pace. The little witch keeps a polite distance and respectful demeanor towards the pair of them as well. Doing it’s best not to rile Roland or Arnault. Even as he feels the way his fellow Older Black Templar Brother muscles are tense and relax.

"Hello there, Jophiel," Becky says, the bolder of the pair of women, while Angela hides behind her, watching the two of them interact.

"Hello ma'am," Jophiel says nodding towards both of them, briefly looking in their eyes before submissively looking away from them.

"Oh my- your eyes are quite striking," Becky says as she grabs his face.

Jophiel freezes and stares at her- his eyes darting around as he notices the way the two older Black Templars are watching him. Surprisingly Angela giggles a little at the unintentional squeak he'd let out when she'd grabbed him.

He hadn't meant to flinch a little at her touch- but he'd had. He hadn't expected that she'd touch him. Jophiel's more worried about Roland and Arnault's reaction, than anything else.

It's not like he could defend himself if the women tried to hurt him. The retaliation he'd receive from the Black Templars would be far more damaging than what these base line humans could inflict on him... physically at least.

"When Cedric and Ramiel talked about their brothers- and how different they were from them," Becky continued to say, not noticing the way he had flinched, but Angela had. "When they said different, I hadn't realized that you boys could get wings."

"It's... not a common feature," Jophiel says weakly, tucking his wings against his back, "It's... very rare actually."

Jophiel wonders how to phrase that he'd like it if she let him go without sounding rude or potentially upsetting her. Which is the last thing he wants to do with an Emperor's Champion and another Older Black Templar within charging range.

As well as Erriox and Mama Lenora, he’s meeting Roland and Arnault because, while hesitant about Jophiel meeting them, both Cedric and Ramiel did want him to meet them. Jophiel had pointed out, very sensibly, that neither of them would like a Librarian being around them. Around their Bonded. 

At least Roland seems to have relaxed a little with the way his Bonded had approached him. While Arnault still seems rather tense- and ready to tear him to shreds.

Angela notices how nervous the poor young mer is, and how he's trying to do his bet to make a good first impression on him. Her anxiety lessens and she had noticed the way he'd flinched when Becky had grabbed his face.

Also the not so hidden panicked look he'd given to his fellow Primaris and the way he's still nervously watching Arnault and Roland. She lightly tugs on one of Becky's arms.

"Let go of the poor boy's face," Angela says softly.

"Fine, fine," Becky says, gently patting one of Jophiel's cheeks as she does so. "You're features are even softer than Rami and Ced's."

Jophiel pouts at that, and tries to come up with something and Angela comes to his rescue again, "He's likely a bit younger than them."

"... How'd you guess that accurately?" Jophiel whines, "I'm not that much younger than them!"

With the ‘suffer not the witch’ part of being the ideology of the 

He doesn’t like it when mortals are so afraid of him. He understands why- he knows he’s one of the scariest things, creatures, in any given room. But he dislikes being reminded of that. Slowly she seems to relax at his silly antics.

Ramiel and Cedric’s exasperation at their youngest (hey!) brother’s antics. “I’m not the youngest!”

He pouts at them exaggeratedly, “yes you are.” Cedric and Ramiel say simultaneously, both of them having matching, shit eating grins on their faces, “you came out of the vats last- by at least two weeks.”

They both have teasing grins on their faces. Good- they are happy, even if it’s at his expense, he’s glad that the shadows of sorrow and pain in their eyes have lightened. Even though it’s at his expense, he’s glad that they are feeling positive emotions.

The older Black Templars seem to both be chuckling, amused at their antics, and watching them. He pretends not to notice when they realize precisely which specialty he has- with the Librarian’s hood. He’s not trained enough for the mighty staff, and he chose not to wear the rest of his armor as a show of trust and vulnerability.

“But- that was when we were Then.” Jophiel says with a sulk, “I could have been the one to survive the longest in our Then before coming back here.”

“Hm…” Cedric hums as he tilts one his hand from side to side in a so-so manner. “Perhaps, perhaps not.”

Jophiel pretends he doesn’t know the way that Arnault and Roland are watching him with calculating blue eyes- the same, or similar hue as Cedric and Ramiel’s are. He’s watching from the corner of his eyes, the Emperor’s Champion. 

The gilding on his fins, truely are impressive, he’s heard of the future-deeds of this Champion. Impressive were his deeds, and tragic his final end. He keeps his words on that sort of thing locked behind his teeth.

“It’s nice to meet you two,” Jophiel says to Arnault and Roland, “Cedric and Ramiel talk about the two of you a lot. They think the- oph.”

The groan he made as Cedric and Ramiel ram into him- to stop him from saying something potentially embarrassing as Revenge for being called the baby of the squad has him yowling dramatically at them about Betrayal as he tussles and wrestles with the two of them.

Before relenting in their grasp- as a Librarian, while he’s been taught hand to hand- it’s not as extensively as his brothers who have more close-combat Chapters. And he sulks and pouts at the two of them.

“You two are so mean!” He whines at them, all floppy dramatics at them.

His eyes carefully flickering towards where Arnault and Roland are. He can tell that the Emperor’s champion is being mildly restrained from charging after them- after Jophiel specifically and he flinches a little- and curses himself for that. He shouldn’t show weakness in front of  First Born Space Marines. Also Cedric and Ramiel had noticed that. Fuck.

“I haha- just remembered I had something important to do,” Jophiel says to his Black Templar brothers- eyes darting towards Arnault and Roland nervously.

He’s likely overstayed his welcome, or will soon. “It was an honor to meet several people who have come to mean so much to Cedric and Ramiel.”

Jophiel says that to Roland, Arnault, Becky and Angela. “Good day to you all.”

He’s not running away- but that Emperor’s Champion’s face he saw the way it darkened some of the times. The coiled, barely hidden violence, just barely restrained by the other Black Templar.

He tugs at Cedric and Ramiel’s arms. He absolutely doesn’t want either of them near an older Black Templar in such a poor mood. “Come on- we- we- we need to help Catius and Claude with getting uh- something- for Erriox and Lenora right now.”

Cedric and Ramiel have both noticed that he’s slightly stuttered and how he’s become increasingly nervous of their Really Cool Big Brothers. Their smiles faded a little, “Okay Jophi- we’ll go.”

“Have a good day Miss Angela, Miss Becky,” Ramiel says, lightly squeezing one of Jophiel’s shoulders. “See you later Brother Roland, Brother Arnault.”

Jophiel could get skittish of older brothers and cousins far faster than any of them- due to his wings. Perhaps they’d pushed him a little too much to meet Roland and Arnault at the same time.

Cedric and Ramiel believe that this meeting has gone great. Neither Arnault or Roland had Charged Jophiel or tried to kill him or bellowed about him being a witch who should die.

That was the worst fucking lie he’s ever said in his life- but he’s not going to let Claude and Ramiel stay near him in such a mood. He’d never been able to protect them from Petras or Cedric’s mentor when the other was in a mood. But things were different here. They were on Ancient Terra.

They weren’t so beholden to their older brothers and cousins. Not as much. None of them were in any official pod or shoal. Independence came at the cost of a lack of support and resources. But. As lonely as it could be, it was… likely safer- in some ways. For now at least.

“You scared the baby,” Roland scolds Arnault.

“Baby witch,” Arnault rumbles.

“Baby witch who’s one of Ramiel and Cedric’s makeshift pod.” Roland points out, “Who’s been nothing but polite, and likely badly harmed by older brothers and cousins too.”

Arnault rumbles, his bond with his beloved is much more intense than Roland’s is. So his protective instincts were screaming at him to get rid of the threat. Even if said threat hadn’t done a single thing to harm, or seem as if it was a threat.

When they had been told of Jophiel- and what it’s specialty was they had… concerns. About the Witch potentially deceiving their little brothers. But- that didn’t seem to be the case. It had cast none of it’s magic on any of them. 

Hadn’t been sly or conniving, hadn’t sought to harm or steal their souls. To corrupt and be cruel. But- it hadn’t been like that, it had- Arnault noticed- wanted to try and protect Roland and Arnault’s little brother’s from his growing annoyance at it’s continued presence. Which… sat poorly in his hearts.

Angela wades over to her Bonded and puts her hands on her hips as she frowns at him a little, "Arnault- why were you acting like Jophiel was a threat?"

"Because it's a witch!" Arnault says with a growl.

"... 'it' has a name and pronouns," She says disappointed in him, "His name is Jophiel. He didn't seem like he was a bad sort."

"But-" Arnault protests.

"You don't have to like him," Angela continues, "but he seemed very sweet, and rather nervous to make a good impression on you and Roland. Because of how much you both mean to his older brothers."

"So?" Arnault continues.

"So- I'd like it if you could try not to act like you want to kill him." Angela says, "Unless he proves to be bad."

"Yes love." Arnault says sulkily as he steals kisses from his beloved as he curls around her.

[zorkaya-moved]

me @ tumblr rpc: YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLOT WITH OCs and it shows.

And you know what? That happens. Plotting is hard. Honestly? Hate plotting so much if I don't know a person these days because I just feel overly anxious and ramble. So yeah, anyhow... Let me share some personal thoughts! THIS DOES NOT TOUCH ON PEOPLE WHO TAKE THEIR TIME, PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME IN PLOTTING AND PLEASE DO EVERYTHING ON YOUR OWN PACE! THIS IS A HOBBY AND THIS IS SOMETHING WE DO FOR FUN! This is based solely on some of my own experiences with SOME plotting (not all ofc!) as a woman oc writer in 2022-2023. I've had fantabulous experience with plotting and not so much. Please know you're valid, Ily, thank you for bearing with my burnt out ass in plottings. Mwah. Stay winning.

We all suffer from the collective dead brain cell syndrome when it comes to plotting any interaction, but do you know what kind of sucks and makes little ol' me tinsy bit bitter at the end of 2023 after going through countless people who just ignored my plotting proposals when I gave a ton of ideas? And what I'm going to call out just a tiny bit as a woman oc writer?

You can get into wikipedia and seek out information about a canon character to figure out some ideas on plots if you don't know the fandom, but do you do the same for OCs? 'Cuz OCs are sure as hell the very same 'canons from fandoms I don't know' type of situation.

Do you reach out to the CREATOR who can answer all your questions no matter how miniscule they can be? We, OC writers, are ready to give you the deep lore if you ask.

Do you check out about pages or headcanon pages? Hell, some of us have DETAILED NAVIGATION PAGES FOR VERSES! Is your OC or Canon from there? Check it out! Read! Find what interests YOU or if you didn't find something? Just ask the WRITER! Simple, innit? God, Imma be real, some of y'all gonna get my DMs like 'Listen, I can't find if you have this hc, could you please link it to me?' because I want info for plot ideas and if you do the same to me? I kiss u platonically.

Lemme give you a Done For You plotting thoughts you can use on how to plot with OCs, ladies and gents and nonbinary folks!

Do you have a specific dynamic you WANT for your character? Perhaps, you see a villain OC and want smth toxic to try out - ASK. Or you see an OC that might be a fun friend or neighbor or any other more positive dynamic - ASK. Inquire each other about what DYNAMICS you're open to. Oh you open to all? Sick. PUT DOWN YOUR BOUNDARIES FIRST. BOTH SIDES. SPEAK YOUR BOUNDARIES.

Do you have verses both of your characters are in? Be it OC & OC or Canon & OC? Noice, discuss all possible connections your characters might have! Offer ideas! Offer thoughts! The worst thing another can say is 'no'. And if so? COUNTLESS POSSIBILITIES. Yummy possibilities. Friends, childhood friends, childhood rivals, exes, rivals, co-workers, fight on sight, live next to each other, see each other in the same fucking cafe your muse goes at 2 pm specifically and ALWAYS sees another muse there... Countless. I'm telling you.

JUST DO THE FIRST STEP TOO WHEN YOU INTERACT WITH OCS, I'M ON MY KNEES BEGGING.

OFFER. IDEAS. The vaguest ones will do ok too. I cannot stress this enough but as an OC writer, I've had instances where I just... Gave 5 ideas only to have someone just drop me. Fully and completely. Not the 'I'll reach out to you later I need to think about this' but just full on 'wow this is too much plotting and I don't want to invest that much time' like it sucks. It sucks being the only person offering possible dynamics, ideas, even funny ones in some cases! I'm so burnt out from plotting dynamics because I keep. Offering. Ideas. But I don't have the same feedback loop. More like I have 0 feedback in the instances I dive into possibilities which burnt me out from plotting altogether, closing plotting possibilities with those who may actually be the same kind of insane as I am. And it sucks. Bless you all who give vague ideas or not vague ideas. Love you. You're fucking champions.

BE OPEN TO ASKING QUESTIONS, PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS, HOLY SHIT, PLEASE. Please never forget to ask "Hey, how would you feel about this scenario?" or "Would your character be in this kind of situation? Maybe that's how they met and started hanging out?" or "Oh, how about us trying out this type of dynamic and see where it goes?" or anything, really.

Anyways, this is just my 2 am psa because yeah why not. December sucks ass so why not speak out my thoughts at the end of 2023 to enter 2024 with sunglasses and cool Women OCs Propaganda I will continue preaching. You're all welcome to reblog this.

[chimakiisane]

It's the same anon again. Happy New Year!

I got to the end of the demo last night, and I just sat there extremely impressed by everything and highly looking forward to the full game.

(It's going to be difficult to be non-spoilery because there are a lot of things I liked, so I'm just going to be as vague as possible or put up a big spoiler warning... I just hope I make sense ;x;)

Zone 2, I'm going to start off by saying that I really liked the layout and detail of the mall (I think I became that eyes emoji when Doux first stepped inside it XD)

I also screeched very loudly when I found two certain NPC's. I was just so happy to see them! :D

And trekking up to the fight with Zone 2's boss! Reading all those notes got me wondering what the heck had been planned for the bosses by the greater forces, and I felt sympathetic towards the boss. I will say, though, I was ready to throw hands while learning about the history between the Zone bosses and our party member (*GOTTA SPOIL TO MAKE SENSE:*specificallyhimgettingbulliedbythebosseswhilegrowingup ;_;) and understood our party member's upset at the (*I HOPE THIS ISN'T TOO SPOILERY*) apology that came very late.

At the same time, I could feel the Zone 2 boss's sincerity, especially when (*SPOILS AGAIN*) he said he could tell our party member was struggling with comforting him in his last moments and that Blight didn't need to.

Ooof it was quite the scene.

(While we're on the *SPOILS TRAIN*, I'm going to share that I felt kind of bad for defeating Zone 1's boss and wondered if there was a way for him and Dedan to work together. Afterall, both of them wanted to take good care of Zone 1)

I was interested in the bigger forces during the fight in Zone 1 when they got mentioned, Zone 2 got me even more curious and more eager to meet them (and kick their asses >:( )

At this point, I thought Zone 2 was my new favorite Zone. . .

. . . And then I entered Zone 3 XD

The vibes were wonderfully unsettling and I enjoyed the little scares! They kept me on my toes, and one of them had me wondering how I'll deal with it face-to-face.

AND OH MY GOD. The Area 4 level! It was terrifying going through it (I kept chanting "I hate this" jokingly), but it was a fun time overall!

(((Beating that *one* boss was pretty satisfying, given how absolutely *creepy* he was 😬. And I was pretty happy receiving something for Doux!)))

I felt so bad for everyone living in Zone 3 😭 I got shook when they died, either by their own hands or by forcing our hand.

I was ready to throw hands with the boss when he made his pre-fight speech... and then got a little sympathetic post-fight ;w; and even more curious about the greater forces!

And before I forget, I went to a certain floor in the Library. ...It was ***really*** hard not to get teary-eyed while going through it, to say the least. The floor was a very sweet commemoration!

I'd like to gush about more stuff, but I'm afraid I'll stop making sense if I keep rambling (it's getting close to midnight here) XD

I'll probably be back, if you don't mind of course! ^u^

Happy New Year!

(Btw, I did encounter some bugs while backtracking and I have a couple feedbacks. I'll send them over to you in another ask, but it was basically me getting stuck while backtracking... I guess I backtracked too hard lol)

Happy new year!

I'm so happy you enjoyed the demo thus far! I am still a bit upset I wasn't able to give my full vision for the final section of the demo like I wanted as well as certain other parts like I intended before the release, but work and lack of motivation has been hitting hard. I want things to flow together easier and not feel like it was shoe-horned in XD

Also, no need to worry about spoilers when it comes to Blight and his relationship with the bosses! I'm sure at this point everyone knows of it, but I do appreciate you wanting to try and keep things on the down low of the new stuff for those who haven't played 4.8 yet <3

There are still some things I need to figure out how to rewrite for the future, cause I'll admit, there is a good handful of dialogue that was kept and forgotten about from the earlier demo days where stuff is either no longer canon or is just very poorly conveyed XD

For zone 3, I still plan on doing more to it to make it less of the copy paste it initially was upon release to a more varied area outside of the nightmare sections and area 5. I also plan on attempting to refine the unsettling stuff, which is definitely going to be tough since fear is subjective.

Definitely feel free to gush more if you want, I don't mind! Also, please do let me know of the bugs you've run into so I can check and see if I've since fixed them or need to.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

HIII WHISKEEYYYY CONGRATS ON FINISHING SEASON ONE... THROWING CONFETTI ON U <333 SO. ASHE, HUH. ASHE WINTERS. NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO THE PRIME DEFENDERS!!!!!

anyway i would LOVE ur overall thoughts on episode 24 specifically or just the whole first season!! who r yr faves? what did u want to see more of? predictions for s2? etc etc etc!!!! blank check for ur pd thoughts!!! :333

OH MAN. that was such a good season <3 i haven't rly like latched onto any character in particular tbh but the little talk they all had in ep24 really made me go ;-; oughhh my little guys. i cannot pick a favourite!!! they're all living in my brain in different ways!!! i suspect that may change in season 2 and things will probably go more in depth with each of their backstories and relationships and such and i am LOOKING FORWARD 2 IT!!!! i am rly drawn to ashe tho tbh i love a weird little kid who has parental issues. too bad he's fucking POSSESSED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!! i will miss him so so so much i hope he's not gone forever </3

i definitely want 2 see more character moments to like develop their relationships and such. i have learned im not always a fan of combat bc it's hard for me to keep track of AND I KNOW THIS IS AN ACTION SERIES IT'S ABOUT SUPERHEROES. I KNOW. i will sit thru the combat to listen 2 the rest of it bc i love these fucking guys so so much <3

predictions??? hmm. i don't know??? i think mark will be in prison but he's gonna lose it over what happened to ashe and break out supervillain style and try to find his son and the prime defenders r gonna tag along to babysit him. he fucking sucks so bad i love him <3 also i have heard vaguely that wiwi gets some kinda survival horror-esque arc and i have NO idea what that could possibly mean but WHATEVER IT IS IM EXCITED FOR IT!!!!!

[doostyaudi]

My employer headcanons? Real?

So, what do i make of the employers in general? Well i think i should start at their purpose! Id like to think of them as being likened to angels in way, granted they aren't, but i think that's the closest words i can use for them. Their general purpose is to make sure the world is in check, as well as the "plot", they're assistants of The Higher Powers in this way as the Higher Powers r busy doing their own things.

Employers do not care for humanity, they honestly quite dislike humanity, finding them "barbaric", "emotional", and any other word u can find to describe humanity, i guess.

Employers are siblings, they are one hell of a messy family

They follow a "code", it doesn't have an official name, but most refer to it simply as the "Employer Code". I wish i had a full list of what these are, all i really have a vague idea what they would be. I have a few that are solid codes: don't hurt/kill another employer, don't go against the higher powers (questioning them n such), and attempting to "run away" (not doing your job in an act of defiance, faking ur death, ect). If an employer breaks any of the codes, they will be given massive restrictions, if its bad enough they will be straight up exiled/killed.

The employers have their own realm they hang out in, it's really just a chill zone for them. They all have their own sections for their respective employers, basically their own house in a way lol. Usually retired employers live here

Yes, employers can be retired, it depends on what their purpose was

Employers are considered souls in a way since they aren't physical and can only interact with people/objects cuz of weird dimensional logic n stuff.

Okay! Individual employers! Right!

Auditor - the employer ever, honestly, we love auditor, dni if u don't /j. Auditor is probably gonna have the biggest write-up out of any of the other employers, not only because we know the most abt her, but also because she's my fave AHSHSHDHD. Oh. Yea. I hc Auditor as genderfluid and npd haver, i am a genderfluid auditor truther, so if u see me using fluctuating pronouns for her, that's why! Ill try and make it as comprehensive as possible tho lol. Uhm. Anyways! Auditor is the second youngest employer, her purpose is to "keep things in check" in short terms. Ironically enough, she has had a hand in not doing this, fucking up Nevada cuz she felt like it. This is NOT her job and the other employers are MAD at her for it, they do not like auditor and try to distance themselves from her. Fortunately for auditor, she doesn't like them either! She's Nevada's biggest hater and hates anyone who hates her, ur either with her or against her. She's impulsive, quick to anger, rash, unprofessional, and does everything in her power to make sure everyone knows she's cool and awsome and amazing and not to be messed with!!!! Then she trips over herself. Despite this, she's good at making plans, is very organized, best on the battlefield than any other employer, and is extremely protective of the ones she cares abt (it's. Very few but it's obvious who her favorites are). She has some control over hell, being able to have little minions of the sorts that keep an eye on things in there for her. People do not fear her, but they rather not deal with her. Oh also she loves sugar-filled food/drinks, she has a sweet-tooth lol.

Deliberator - the youngest employer. Despite his age, he is the smartest out of the employer, constantly doing research into different topics, making sure he's 10 steps ahead of everyone. He's the complete opposite of auditor in a way as he thinks more on logic than emotion. Ironically, hes very empathetic and tends to care for others he logically knows he shouldn't. He most definitely cares for humanity more than the others because of this, also he can't ever get himself to truly hate Auditor like the others do. He was most likely made to keep auditor "in check", being able to predict what auditor can and will do and using that against her, making sure she doesn't do more damage than she already has. Id like to think he has an interest in birds tho, nothing makes me think that, he just seems like a bird lover to me!

Conductor - the 3rd eldest employer. Her job is quite straightforward, she makes sure everything is perfect and in tip-top shape, cleaning up any mess others make. Because of this she is quite bossy and a complete perfectionist, freaking out whenever something goes against her perfectly made plans, even if it's completely insignificant. She can sometimes get in over her head about plans and how everyone is going to manage it, obsessing over small details. She tends to be more backhanded than the other employees, very passive-aggressive if u will, rarely letting others know how she truly feels about something. Also id like to think she likes to gossip with Stygian and Deliberator alot.

Stygian - the eldest employer. His job is to maintain the spirit realm and help lost souls to the others side. He maintains purgatory and the parts of hell Auditor doesn't have control over. Its a quite simple job compared to the others as it doesn't need as much thought and 4D chess playing to do, though who says guiding lost souls and making sure they don't get fucked up is an easy job? Knowing how Nevada is today, Stygian must be one hell of a busy guy. He's quite emotionally distant and tends to just do what he needs to do. Like. If you tell him a joke he'll just. *look* at you, he may have found it humorous but he doesn't laugh. People find him quite cold and distant because of this, though he's just am old man who wants to be left alone, but doesn't mind the company of his siblings every once in a while.

Uhhh yea i think that's everything.... It was nice to let that out of my system... I might have missed a few things/misinterpreted something... Sorry if i have! It's been a while since I've re-watched anything.. I honestly tried playing mpn2 again but i remembered why i stopped playing it! It set my computer on fire! O.o (not literally!! It was just so incredibly hot after only 20 minutes!! Sigh...)

U may not agree with everything ive said, and that's okay! Just don't be a jerk abt it, ok?

[fatuismooches]

Hello smooches, its been a while since i popped up here. Been busy with school since i missed like a whole semester bcs i was hospitalized 💀 now i have to catch up with everything.. (pls send help-) anyway, I hope u and the others are doing well 🙏💞

Also, i want to share a very messy Capitano brainrot or a very random thought that have been plaguing my mind for the past few weeks 💀 and its about him having separation anxiety (or fear of losing someone he loves), especially towards *cough* fragile!reader *cough*

I know it is VERY ooc of him, but to me just the thought of someone like him having that just tug a string in my heart 😔

Just think about it, that man must have been through a LOT before he became known as the strongest individual in teyvat and being feared by many people, even being called a monster bcs of how strong he is when he is on the battlefield. Even how bloody his hands are, there's still "someone" (cough reader cough) who really cares/loves him, accept whoever he is and makes him happy. But suddenly that person fell sick and their health keeps deteriorating everyday while he doesn't know what to do to make his sick lover better? (Sure, he can protect reader from any harm. But, can he protect them from getting unknown disease?) Don't mind me, i'll just lie down here and cry-

Also i have this scenario in my head, like the way he walked so fast as soon as he finally touches the front door of their shared home when he came back from expedition just to find reader. He NEEDS to see them with his own eyes, even though all of his subordinates and their house attendants already told him that reader is fine on the letter he recieved everytime he asks how's the condition of his sick lover.

The moment he sees reader, weakly trying to walk towards him to welcome him, he just basically grabbing onto them and hugged them and they can hear tiny quiet aborted breaths coming from under his.. Helmet(?), mumbling breathy words that sound jumbled together but due to their proximity they can vaguely make out a 'it's okay, they're here, they're still here.. and alive.. and not gone..' Reader, after hearing that and seeing him like this for the first time, it really made their heart squeeze painfully and hugged him tighter

Again i'm so sorry if this doesn't make any sense, i really need to get it out of my head ASAP but i also tried to make it as not messy as possible 😭😭 anyways, i really hope that u have an amazing day smooches! 🙏🛐💞

(It seems that everyone already completed Fontaine really fast, and then there's me who barely have time to play and missed some events in 3.8 too 😭 æügh- rip primogems 😔 also, Neuvillette.. the temptation of wanting to pull for him is too strong after seeing his drip marketing 😩)

-🥝

🥝 ANON!!! OH MY GOD I MISSED U SM. I WAS WORRIED BUT IM SO GLAD YOU’RE OKAY. Ahh that sounds really stressful I hope you’re making sure to rest and take breaks too :( *hugs you* But I am doing well, thank you 💞💞

But OUH. YOU RETURNED WITH SOME HEART-BREAKING DIDNT YOU 😭. Noooo the way you described his past makes me so sad :( Yes, there are a lot of people who respect him, but of course there will always be people scared of him. His great reputation won’t stop rumors from floating around, but he’s come to accept that. Especially when he has someone as lovely and kind as you, who shows their love without a moment’s hesitation, what other people think doesn’t really matter. Really, he’s come to value your opinion so much, he always takes what you say seriously even when it’s so obvious you’re joking.

OUCHHH I CANT EVEN PUT IT INTO WORDS. He’s so used to fighting things, things that have a physical form of course. That’s how he can protect you. But what can he do when sickness has no form? What use is he when he can’t cut through what’s ailing you with his sword? His hands are made for battle and killing but there is nothing he can kill that would make you better. 

Well now you’ve got me thinking about that too 😭 When he walks in he doesn’t even acknowledge his staff, just walks straight to your room to make sure you’re okay. I feel like the Fatui soldiers in his squad have grown to the point where they try to get everything done as soon as possible just so their captain can have even just a moment more of time to spend with you.

He would get so worried just seeing you out of bed, his heart rate would spike for a second and quickly support you and get you back to bed. But first he would just hold you tight, enough so that he can hear your heartbeat, feel your warmth and pulse, and know that you’re still truly here with him. He just needs to know you’re alive, he often finds his hands near your chest and wrist, to feel you breathe in and out. It’s really comforting to Capitano considering how he deals with death every day. After those few words he lets out, you know he didn’t mean for you to hear them, but now you have and you’ll do your best to reassure him. Just guide his big hand to your heart and let him feel the beat of your heart, how as long as he’s by your side you’ll swear to keep it beating for him :(

THANK YOU FOR THIS 🥝 ANON I’ve been missing Capitano a lot and your brain rots with him never fail 😫For the sake of my heart fragile reader got better thank you very much <3 And don’t worry about Fontaine or Genshin in general! It’s not going away and you should focus on yourself and your life first :) But when you do play I promise you’ll have a great time, Fontaine is very pretty and relaxing :) (Yes… join me in pulling for Neuvillette >:)))

[sugaredbloodcells]

haiii im about to go to bed but i saw ur ask and wanted to pop in :> ive missed interacting with u sm!! i think we just keep being active at different times bc i swear it's like i never see u on my tl now TvT hope ur doing well tho! also just saw ur post about making an s/i and wellll if u do rb an ask game to try and build one or if u just want help in general or someone to bounce ideas off of hmu!! id love to help if possible

oki nini <3

I DIDNT GET A NOTIFICATION FOR THIS???? sobs :'(((

anyways.... hi icky! i miss interaction with you so much it's kinda dumb lol. we probably do.... i've somehow gotten a better sleep schedule BUT where i'm a system, i also haven't been fronting as much and therefore i haven't been on tumblr nearly as much as i had previously been. the joys (sarcastic) of being a system. i am doing okay, thank you, i hope you are too <3

but yes!! i do want to make a s/i for art... i have a very very very vague idea for him. all i've got is that i want him to be a trans man for sure! i don't even have a name for him yet. bummer city!!! i will reblog one after this, so when you see this ask has been answered, you know i have one posted :P i am... unsure how you could help with ideas because i'm very unsure of how familiar you are with the terrifier movies. i think you reblogged some things from me though on my main blog of the franchise, so i'm assuming you at least know who art is? but aaaaanyways, thank you <3 you are so so incredibly sweet to me and i appreciate you loads dude. thank you 4ever <333 :loveblast: