#i am trying to follow the advice of no matter what you say nothing will change a person's mind if they've already decided what the truth is

[chappellrroan]

life when you stop caring about fandom discourses

[medicinemane]

.

[vaspider]

Look. A little advice.

Once you get to a certain amount of Known on the internet or a subsection of it, or even in a subsection of a RL group of people, there are going to be people who will make up a version of you which exists only in their heads and which has absolutely nothing to do with who you are. It might better resemble who you were twenty years ago or it might never have had anything to do at all with who you were then or are now.

You cannot stop this. You cannot prevent this. Once you get a certain number of followers or a certain amount of attention, that's going to happen: people will make up stories about you which either look through a fun-house mirror at some small aspect of who you are and twist it and blow it up until it doesn't resemble you at all, or which just have absolutely no basis in fact whatsoever.

This is just another kind of parasocial relationship; it's the kind which really sucks to deal with, because it's so negative and so pervasive. It's very real, and the frustration you feel about it is very real. Nobody wants to be known incorrectly.

But. You can't control this. It's gonna happen. No matter what you say, no matter how precisely you say it, the people who want to misinterpret you will find a way to do so. This doesn't mean 'don't pay attention to what you say,' or 'don't be purposeful and precise with your language,' but it does mean 'don't obsess over the people who are determined to get you wrong.'

You can be the most anodyne, run-of-the-mill, unremarkable human being, and the people who are determined to hate you will find something that they can point to and say 'ha ha! I told you that Spider danced with the devil at midnight! I witnessed it myself!' (It will not help the situation if you are, say, self-admittedly stubborn as fuck, long-winded, and sometimes kinda fucking obnoxious, but please realize that in the end, it doesn't really matter. This is gonna happen no matter what.)

The people who matter will look at what's being said, wrinkle up their foreheads, and say, 'uh, man, it looks like Spider was actually playing with his dog at 9 am?'

That said, if you don't have elephant-thick skin from being a marginalized-gender human being who's been on the internet since before the web had pictures, there are some things you can do to make it easier when people making things up about you starts to get on your nerves:

Establish protocols for when it becomes too much: have someone read your messages, turn off your notifications, have time where you purposefully disengage.

Establish protocols for how you interact, period: "I will block people without guilt if they engage positively with the people who spread untruths about me." "I will answer everything in public so people can't lie about what I said, because it's right there in public." "I will not answer work-related stuff in DMs, that has to go to the work email." Whatever it is, create some boundaries for yourself. Stick to them. The people who push you to bend them aren't doing that for your benefit but theirs.

If you get someone who really hits your Weirdo Alarm, trust it. Yeah, block and report, but also, take screenshots and store them somewhere that isn't easily erased. I have an 'Internet Weirdos' folder, which makes it a little easier to deal with when people start doing things like 'making threats of physical harm to me and my family.' Don't fuss, just take a screenshot and chuck it in the folder. Having that record makes it easier to just forget that it ever happened, because you have a paper trail if anybody starts doing something Real Weird.

Spend time offline, with people who do actually know you.

Don't get lost in the version of you that someone else makes up in order to make up for the shit that's missing in their own life. You aren't required to play the part that someone else is trying to script for you. It is never to your benefit, only to theirs; you gain nothing by standing in that role for them, and you lose precious seconds of your one irreplaceable life.

You could be using those seconds to look at this video of how to pick up a duck, which I think we can all agree is a better investment of your time.

[triptuckers]

sparring sessions - percy jackson

Request: yes! "ok so ik it’s kinda (by kind of i mean VERY) cliche, but i was wondering if u could do like an angst -> fluff where like percy and reader get into a fight n stuff and he like admits that he loves them??" Pairing:  percy jackson x reader Summary:  when an argument between you and percy gets heated, some things are revealed Warnings:  mentions of injuries and blood, arguing, angst Word count:  858 A/N: raaaaaahhh I LOVE me some cliche's LETS GO !! thanks for you request, enjoy!

it started out as an innocent sparring session between percy and jake, a hephaestus kid. a couple kids from hermes, hephaestus, and athena decided to get together to train. you and percy also joined.

you'd been at camp longer than percy, so you had trained him in the beginning. the two of you often train together even though percy is now better than you.

but somehow he still looks at you while sparring with someone else. if it's to read your facial expressions or just because you're in his line of sight, you're not sure.

but today it nearly went wrong.

while percy and jake were sparring, percy was looking at you and too late to block jake's sword. he managed to make a deep cut in percy's arm.

the session was immediately ended and percy put his sword away. while the other kids continued their training session, you walked away. you couldn't stay there and be around percy right now. clearly he hadn't listened to you.

but percy, having seen your face, follows you.

as soon as you get to percy's cabin - which provides you with more privacy than your own - you turn around to look at him with an irritated look on your face.

'I told you to ignore me if you're sparring!' you say.

percy frowns. but nothing bad happened? why are you mad at him? besides, he can't look away from you when he's sparring. he thought you knew this.

'and how am I supposed to do that?' says percy, watching as you take off your armor and neatly put it away. 'you're the one that taught me. of course I need to see if you think I'm doing a good job.'

you pinch the bridge of your nose between your fingers. you're trying so hard to stay calm right now.

'of course I think you're doing a good job, percy.' you say. 'I know you're good at what you do. but you'd do a great job if you would listen to my advice and avoid getting stabbed.'

percy makes a soft offended noise. 'first of all, I didn't get stabbed. I got nicked!'

you groan out loud 'percy! come on, don't be stubborn!'

'I'm the one being stubborn? you should see yourself when you're sparring. you want it to be perfect but fighting never is! it's messy, no matter how good you train someone.'

'I'm going for a walk.' you say, before you get angrier and say things you don't mean.

you grab your armor and walk towards the door, but he steps in front of you, blocking the doorway.

'oh no, you're not. we're not done yet.' says percy, crossing his arms over his chest, displaying the cut on his arm that he didn't have time to heal yet.

'got more to say?' you say.

'yes. you never did actually tell me what I did wrong.' says percy. 'you're mad, I can tell. but you didn't tell me what it was that I did that's made you mad.'

'yes I did. I told you that you need to ignore me when you're sparring. focus all of you attention on the opponent, not me.'

'I can't do that.'

'can't focus on the opponent? I noticed.'

'that's not what I meant!'

'then what do you mean!'

'I meant I can't ignore you when I'm sparring!' says percy loudly. 'I can never ignore you, don't you understand that? whenever you're near you always have my attention, I can never look away. even when you're not near me I'm thinking about you. gods, you're always on my mind because I love you, okay? so I'm sorry if I can't look away from you when I'm sparring!'

you hadn't realised how close you were to each other. now percy's face is close to yours, both of you breathing heavily.

you knew percy liked you, obviously. you wouldn't be staying in his cabin almost every night if he didn't. but this? even though you knew percy had liked you for a long time, you hadn't been together for that long.

'you love me?' you say in a soft voice, feeling your anger and irritation ebb away.

percy closes his eyes and shakes his head, as if he just now realises what he said. then he sighs and when he opens his eyes and looks at you, there's nothing but sweetness in them.

'yeah. I do.' says percy. 'I've loved you for a long time, actually.'

you smile and want to say something but percy's eyes widen.

'wait, shit, is that too soon? should I have waited to say it? oh gods if I-'

'percy.' you say, shutting him up by stepping even closer to him.

'it's okay. I love you too.' you say.

percy grins and his eyes twinkle. without warning, he puts his hands on the sides of your face and crashes his lips against yours. he can feel the smile on your lips.

when he pulls back, you're both smiling.

'you still want to go on that walk?' says percy.

'definitely not.' you say.

percy laughs and kisses you again, your argument already forgotten.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rulesHere’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost, steal or translate my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

[riiwrites]

“Go for it, Itadori!”

SUMMARY : it seems the sunshine of jujutsu high has developed feelings for you! such a shame you’re a little too clueless to realise it though. oh well, looks like he’ll have to turn to his friends for advice!

GENRE : fluff with a smidge of angst!

A/N : i am currently starting up a new taglist specifically for jjk, so please click on the taglist link and specify what you want to be tagged in for future posts. this is my first time writing for jjk so please be polite, i was a bit wary on starting something new. enjoy!

masterlist | taglist | main page

Ever since Yuji Itadori had laid eyes on you he knew he was in for it.

You had timidly walked in with your jujutsu uniform on, twiddling with your fingers in a nervous manner as you looked down at them wary and all.

He just thought you looked oh so cute.

So when he hears he’ll be tagging along with you in missions, he knew that was the perfect way to start.

“Hey!” He calls out to you as you’re packing up your things when everyone begins to leave the classroom. “Im Yuji, Yuji Itadori!” He extends his hand.

You turn to look at him and you take a moment to study his face, his cheerful eyes full of so much light you swear you can feel the light radiating off of them. You can’t help but crack a little smile, meeting his hand with yours as you shake it gently.

“Y/N, Y/N L/N.” You say softly, and he swears he could just melt from how sweet you speak. He already knows your name from when Gojo introduced you to the rest of the class, but you could repeat your name over and over again and he would never get bored of it.

A few months go by and you two are as close as ever. You are constantly with eachother no matter the occasion and have become completely inseparable.

Megumi and Nobara begin to notice it too. They think it’s sweet, sure. But they can’t help but notice how Yujis cheeks light a certain shade of pink everytime you look his way..

“So, what’s the deal with you and Y/N?” Nobara blurts out randomly. Luckily, you weren’t able to attend the little hangout your friends had invited you to, so you weren’t able to hear into this excruciating and painful conversation Nobara was about to have with Yuji.

Yuji looks up from his dessert he was eating, eyes blown wide with a frozen look on his face, visibly not expecting this sudden question. “Um, I don’t..follow..”

“Oh you know exactly what I mean, Itadori!” Nobara huffs, her eyebrows furrowing as she crossed her arms, clearly not backing down from this until she gets thorough answers. “I see the way you look at her, so does Fushiguro.”

“I do..?” Megumi questions with a slightside glance, seemingly only piecing together what’s going on right now. Nobara sighs loudly as she leans back in the booth chair. “Seriously? Try to keep up, Fushiguro..”

“H-hey now I don’t understand! You don’t get to just make up assumptions about me that you obviously know nothing about?!” Yuji stands up from his seat dramatically, evidently flustered at this sudden attack.

“Oh yeah? And what assumptions that?” Nobara asks with a raised eyebrow.

“That I like Y/N!! I don’t!!”

“I never said anything about you liking them?”

Silence fills the small cafe as shame and embarrassment creeps up on Yuji like an insect.

“..Oh.”

So yeah, he’s not sly with it.

With that established, Nobara and Megumi (by force) made it their duty to hype Yuji up so he can confess and you two can be together.

Now see, Yuji had saw signs beforehand that you may reciprocate the same feelings. You fidgeted more than normal, you also had that same tinted patch on pink on your cheeks when you see him, and your eyes light up with the same amount of sparkle as his when you speak to him.

What? He notices!

So when he finally musters up enough courage to confess that he likes you whilst you two are out together at your favourite boba shop, it’s safe to say he was rather shocked at the response you give him.

“Huh? I already know that Yuji!”

He shoots his head up to look at you, eyes as wide as a grape as he blinks numerous times.

“S-say what now?!”

“Yeah! Otherwise you wouldn’t be my friend!”

Whoop, there it is.

“..R-right! Yeah! Just wanted to be clear..!”

Safe to say, he’s super embarrassed. I mean, can you blame him? You just friend-zoned the poor boy into oblivion! So, when he gets home, he turns to another friend for advice.

“Listen, brother. You just have to show them what you’re all about!” Todo says with a confident look. “Show them what all that trainings been for, eh?!” He flexes his muscles, to which Yuji gives him a dreadful look.

“I don’t wanna make them uncomfortable!” Yuji argues.

“What? Brother a little flexing won’t hurt anybody!”

Yuji had little hope holding out for Todo, but he supposed a little advice was better than none. With Todo’s last words ringing in his mind, he set off the next morning with a confident look and chest held high.

“Go for it, brother!”

The next morning came and you and Yuji were currently on your way in Ijichi’s car to a local neighbourhood which held a limited number of cursed spirits that were tormenting the citizens. You both sat next to eachother as you chatted to him.

“So, did you get home safely?” You ask him, referring to last night after the ‘boba tea friend-zone’ incident.

“Oh! Uh, yeah totally.” He says with a faux chill tone, looking out the window as he places his hand on the back of his neck. “I actually got into a fight with some cursed spirits while walking back..”

Well, that part was a lie, but he had to make an excuse somehow!

You gasp in worry, eyebrows knitting together in concern as you reach to touch his shoulder. “Oh goodness, are you okay?”

Yujis face flushes, but luckily you can’t see that due to him looking the opposite direction. So he sorts himself out before he takes a deep breath and turns to you, his face now neutral and unbothered.

“Yeah, I’m chill..” He emphasises the ‘chill’ with a huge stretch of his arms, flexing them to you subtly with a nod. “Just got to put my training to use, slaying them curses like nothing matters, you get me?” He says with a ‘gangster’ like tone that Todo had previously taught him.

You take a moment to process what he’s saying, blinking a few times before withdrawing your hand and backing away a little.

“Yuji, are you sure you’re feeling okay..?” You ask, your face and tone only increasing in concern and worry. Yujis expression falters, realising he’s only making you feel worse, which isn’t what he wanted at all.

“N-no! Im good really..! Sorry! Im sorry!” He apologises, taking your hands in his and lowering his head repeatedly.

Ijichi has never been more confused in his life.

After that, Todo was officially ticked off the list for ‘asking for relationship advice’ and he was strictly forbidden from trying to contribute.

“The best thing to do is to flourish them with compliments! You gotta give them a flashy smile and charm them with your romantic gestures!” Panda exclaims with a gleam to his teeth.

“Isn’t there a word for that..?” Nobara asks “What’s it called?”

“Love bombing?” Megumi replies.

“Yeah! You don’t want to do that to Y/N!” Nobara says with an intense shaking of her head.

“Woah woah hey now! Let’s not get too hasty throwing around words.” Panda argues. “A little complimenting never hurt anyone!”

Suddenly, Yuji got deja vu from Todo all over again.

“Trust me, pal. Once you get them with your words, they’ll be swooning all over you!” Panda says with a thumbs up. “Go for it, Itadori!”

Yuji couldn’t help but hesitate, but he pushes through that uneasy feeling and takes the advice with a heavy heart.

The sky was filled with bright that complimented the colour of the dark night, but Yuji wasn’t interested in that.

Not when the most beautiful thing was right beside him, staring up at the night sky with a cute smile.

“You like the stars?” He asks quietly, eyes focused on your face.

“Yeah, they’re unreal.” You reply, a slight glimmer in your eyes as you speak.

“..You’re unreal..” He responds, to which you look at him instantly just to make sure you got your hearing right.

“..Im sorry?” Yuji almost backs down when you say that, but he has to try.

“Y-you’re unreal, you’re so beautiful.” He continues, leaning closer to you. “I could look into your eyes for hours because they’re just so pleasing to look at!”

Pleasing? Okay maybe he has to rein it in a bit!

You back away instantly, and his heart breaks a little.

“I-..I have to go home..” You say abruptly, standing up and grabbing your things. Yuji is set into panic mode.

“W-what? Why?” He says, his tone and demeanour now completely changed.

“You’ve-“ You stop for a moment, choosing your words wisely before you speak. “You have been acting different recently, Yuji. You’re not yourself.”

“No, no I have been myself! Really, I have!” He attempts to reassure you, scurrying to get off the grass and up to try and get you to stop.

“Well, you haven’t been my Yuji as of late.” You say a matter of factly, and that statement breaks Yujis heart into a million pieces. His expression falters, and he looks defeated.

“Y/N, please..” He says weakly, standing there.

“Yuji I just think you need to have some time to yourself for a while, call me when you’ve thought this through.” You whisper as you walk past and away from him, leaving the poor shell of a boy by himself as he stands, completely and utterly stunned at this sudden reality check.

Everyone noticed the lack of cheer and sun radiating off of Yuji the next day, and it made people feel uneasy.

As soon as he stepped into class the room had a lack of colour and lack of light to it, it felt..dull.

But the others can easily piece together what happened.

“Pandas advice didn’t work?” Megumi asks as he looks at Yuji moping on his desk as the bell rings.

“Or Todos, or yours or Nobaras..” Yuji mumbles as he holds his head in his hands. “They hate me..”

“Got your text!” Panda announces as he walks in the classroom, followed by Toge and Maki.

“Yeesh, that bad huh?” He asks.

“Your advice didn’t work. They got freaked out and went home..”

Maki raises an eyebrow. “What did you do?”

Yuji was about to reply, but Nobara interrupts. “He freaked them out with weird compliments.”

“Are you serious?” Yuji covers his ears at Maki’s raised voice.

“Aghhh! I know I know okay?! It was bad enough that I took Todos advice too a—“

“You took Todo’s advice? My god you really are an idiot.” At this Yuji flinches, snapping his head up with a defensive look. “Hey! You gotta be nice to me I’m weeping over here!!”

Maki sighs, before pulling up a chair and sitting down across from Yuji. “You wanna know why they aren’t getting the hint?”

Yuji hesitates for a moment but slowly nods. Maki takes a breath before answering.

“It’s because all they are focused on is how much you’ve changed around them recently and they aren’t wanting to go out with someone like that.” She explains. “They want you for you, not some Todo or Panda lookalike.”

“Im a good guy you know..” Panda mumbles.

“Have you atleast done the most basic thing and asked them out on a date?” Maki asks.

Yuji thinks for a moment, before his eyes go wide and he slaps himself on the head. “Damn it!!”

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me..”

The clock read 10:15pm, you were currently finishing up some homework on your desk when suddenly a phone ring interrupts you from your studies.

Yuji! ❤️ is calling…

You can’t help the little smile that escapes your lips but you hold a little worry, just what was he going to utter out now..?

Still, you pick up the phone, holding it to your ear.

“Hello?” Theres a moment of rustling and background sound before you hear his voice.

“H-hi! I thought it through, can we talk?”

Your smile grows wider and you nod, although he can’t even see you. “Of course we can Yuji..”

“Great!” You can hear the excitement and relief in his voice through the phone. “Because it would be a bit awkward if you didn’t look out your window right now..”

Say what now?

Your heads snaps up from your work as you stand up from your chair, walking over to your window.

It was absolutely pouring it down with rain outside, but that never stopped Yuji. There he was, drenched from head to toe in water from the blistering rain as he stands there with a dopey smile on his face, phone in hand.

“Open up for a moment?”

You rush downstairs and put on your raincoat and slippers before opening the door and walking towards him, he waits until you’re right infront of him to speak.

“Is it okay if I ask you to not speak until I’ve finished?” He asks, you nod.

Yuji nods mostly to himself, before taking a deep breath in.

“You’re right, I haven’t been myself recently.” He starts, thinking of his words and picking them thoroughly. “But, I’d be lying if I said I have been myself at all around you.”

You raise an eyebrow in confusion, parting your lips.

“When I’m around you, you make me a different version of myself. You make me feel in such a good way I never knew was possible.” He continues, looking into your eyes as he does. “You make me feel all fuzzy it makes my stomach hurt, you make my heart beat out my chest like I’m dying.” He laughs nervously as he speaks, to which you smile and giggle yourself.

“W-what im trying to say is..I like you, Y/N. More than a friend and more than anything. I have since the moment I laid eyes on you.”

Your eyes widen a bit, your smile widening as the same familiar patch of pink spreads across both of your cheeks. A moment of silence fills the air before he speaks up once more.

“Would you like to go out with me?”

In that moment when you look at him, you don’t see anyone else. You see Yuji, you only see Yuji and that’s all you’ve ever wanted.

So your answer is borderline clear when you open your mouth and say..

“I’d like that alot.”

TAGLIST : @melluvsuu

✿ riiwrites ; please please please don’t plagiarise or repost any of my works on any other platforms! especially without crediting!

[lovebvni]

'Advice From Your S/O' ( Pick-a-Pile ) (old)

I haven't done a pick-a-pile lately, I had covid then life got in the way, but I'm back with some shifting advice from your s/o! 

You will be picking a number between 1 and 5

Breathe in....

Breathe out...

Now, what's the number you heard?

[pile 1, 2, 3

4, 5]

pile 1

Pile 1!

Conformation this pile is for you: Have been having nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night, feeling like things aren't going well for you, 9, 999

Cards: 9 of Swords, Page of Cups, 9 of Pentacles

"I see you've been disappointed with your situation, but you know, things are going to get better. Take a break, look to your material life more than you look to shifting right now. Take a break, stop thinking about shifting. I think you're obsessed." Wow, your partner had NO trouble giving this to you straight up. They are basically trying to say take a break. Think about something else, be creative!

Things I kept seeing/hearing: memer, laughs a lot, is in physical or mental pain, obsession, Addison Rae, overachiever

pile 2

Pile 2!

Conformation this pile is for you: You have a mental illness of some sort, you want to work with a deity, you have a cat (or pet)

Cards: The Devil, 5 of Wands (R), 8 of Cups

You guys may have also been drawn to pile 1

"Hello, my love! I want you to be happy. What's wrong? Do you need to rant? I'm here for you if you do! I love you SO SO SOOO much! I was asked to bring you advice. Positive change is coming. I know, that really isnt advice but you NEED to know that happiness is coming to you, CHANGE is coming to you. You feel suck but, you're actually slowly moving forward! I'll always be by your side to hold your hand, dont worry!"

Things I kept seeing/hearing: The colour purple, 555, blue, deities, 'It's Nerf or Nothing!"

pile 3

Pile 3!

Conformation this pile is for you: You love listening to music, weirdcore, Simp/kin Bakugou, cook, denki kinnie 1, 111, 1111, fighter,  fire sign, childish

Cards: 7  of wands(r), king of wands, Ace of Cups, Ace of Swords

"HII! I'm going to be honest with you, you're not TRYING to do everything you want to! I know you want to do great things but you WONT PUT WORK INTO IT! Can you PLEASE actually try to put work into what you're doing? Put effort into it. You're wasting your potential. Once you do this, something new is coming! I promise, pinky swear!!"

Things I kept seeing/hearing: 111, 1111, January, New Beginnings are coming, JAM SESSION!!, artist, learner

pile 4

Pile 4

MENTIONS OF ABUSE/NEGLECT!!

Conformation this pile is for you: Shoto Todoroki, Hyper, 555, 1010, overachiever, doing more than needed, hard working, shifting for an escape, falling, box (LMFAO WTF??), spiritual, magic wand, have a snake

Cards: The World, Page of Wands(R), 10 of Swords, 5 of Swords, The Tower, 8 of Wands

"Hello. You are my world, I want you to know that. I am sending lots of love, because I know that there is a lot going on with you. The parental figures in your life do NOT treat you the way they should. I want you to know, I'm sending you signs and messages, I don't know if you're getting them/paying attention to them. I want you to know there are NO rules you have to follow, nothing you do will effect your journey negatively, okay? Every thing is downhill from here, a smooth ride, you are going to shift soon. Don't loose hope."

Things I kept seeing/hearing: Nicki Minaj, Billie Eilish, finally, endings coming, childish, blonde hair, red 3.

pile 5

Pile 5

Conformation this pile is for you: Shinsou, 333, 33, artist, drawing, roblox, Katsuki Bakugou

Cards: The Hanged Man, 3 of Pentacles, 3 of Wands, The Empress (R)

"WITHIN TIME YOU WILL SHIFT! CALM DOWN! Take a break, focus on what you want to do in your cr, do you like someone? Talk to them! Work on your script, do whatever! I love you! No matter what, I'll wait for you! Success is coming, you're almost at the top of this mountain!!"

Things I kept seeing/hearing: 333, Black, blue, sunglasses, cars, friends, online friends.

[evilbihan]

Kuai Liang is not "nice"

This is technically the second part of my character analysis for Kuai Liang, so be sure to check out the first part focusing on Kuai Liang's personality, goals and his relationship with his brothers and Harumi.

This part will focus on how Kuai Liang treats other characters and upon closer inspection, the image of the "sweet wholesome guy everyone adores" that the fandom crafted for him starts to crumble very quickly.

Kitana and Mileena:

Mileena: My bond with Kitana can't be broken. Scorpion: I'd once thought the same of mine with Bi-Han.

Why exactly is Kuai Liang trying to make Mileena doubt Kitana's loyalty to her? We have all seen Kitana's tower ending. She has gone out of her way to secure her sister's reign, she defends Mileena fiercely and is genuinely worried about her. It upsets her to see other members of the court conspiring against her sister. Kitana is nothing but loyal to Mileena, in a way Kuai Liang was never loyal to Bi-Han.

"I'm disappointed in my brother's decisions and therefore everyone else's siblings suck too." That's not a healthy or mature mindset. He's projecting his own family issues onto Mileena and Kitana, who actually share a wholesome bond, and tries to create distrust and dispute where there is none. And why? Out of jealousy? It's hard to tell, but this was uncalled for.

It's particularly awful because Kitana is actually trying to help fix Kuai Liang's relationship with his own brother while it seems Kuai Liang is trying to ruin hers with Mileena.

Kitana: You've broken Kuai Liang's heart. Sub-Zero: It won't be the only part of him I damage.

Kitana: I understand congratulations are in order. Scorpion: How did news of my marriage reach Outworld?

Kitana: Weapons. Soldiers. Whatever you -- Scorpion: I have all that I need to defeat Bi-Han.

She's also offering him her and Outworld's support and is really just being nice to him, yet he never once shows gratitude and even tries to plant doubts about her in her sister's mind behind her back.

Nitara:

Scorpion: If you would only feed on lower species -- Nitara: Humans are a lower species.

"Lower species"? What species exactly is Kuai Liang talking about here? What's his definition of a lower species? Tarkatans? Netherrealmers? One could assume he means animals, but then why doesn't he say so? Instead, he's using a term that's often used in f*cist language. Who or what he's referring to isn't specified either, but it's definitely a questionable choice of words regardless.

Let's be honest, the mindset that there's "lower species" that are not deserving of life, as Kuai Liang basically implies by claiming Nitara should feed on them instead, says quite a lot about the kind of person he is. No matter what he's speaking of here, I still think this is pretty fucked up from any standpoint, especially because Kuai Liang doesn't explicitly say that he's talking about animals.

This is just my opinion, but even if he were to "only" be talking about animals here, I think it's downright wrong to say any animals are a "lower species", given the fact that we very much depend on certain animals for our own survival. Even if we give Kuai Liang the benefit of the doubt, he still sounds incredibly uneducated and ignorant. To not value the life of other creatures is not a good look on him, but then again we've seen how much he values his own brother's life so the bar is quite literally in hell.

Raiden:

Scorpion: Liu Kang's revelation has shaken my faith in him. Raiden: Understandable, given what he chose to hide.

Reptile: Am I right to put faith in Liu Kang? Scorpion: He's always proven worthy of mine.

Oh, has he now?

Kuai Liang is beginning to sound two-faced. He's certainly not conflicted because he still continues to follow Liu Kang and advices others to do the same. He also doesn't openly criticize or doubt Liu Kang like Tomáš and Bi-Han do. But he himself has lost some of his faith in Liu Kang, yet he judges Bi-Han for having done the same thing? Where does any of that make sense?

Bi-Han:

Scorpion: You would shed your brother's blood? Sub-Zero: Because you choose to stand in my way.

The first blood shed was Bi-Han's, not Kuai Liang's, but because Bi-Han doesn't bear a visible scar, no one acknowledges that.

Kuai Liang is once again showing manipulative behavior here. Blaming everything on his brother and pretending he did nothing wrong. Guilt tripping Bi-Han for something he himself has done.

Kuai Liang's actions are not even the biggest problem here. You can somehow justify what he did with him being hurt/angry when he found out about the true circumstances of his father's death. It's the fact that he refuses to take any responsibility for what he did and acts completely innocent although he's anything but, that shows he's not who the fandom makes him out to be.

Even Bi-Han stands by what he does. Kuai Liang can't even own up to his actions.

Liu Kang:

Liu Kang: You allow vengeance to consume you. Scorpion: I should not punish Bi-Han for his crimes?

So, Liu Kang seems concerned with Kuai Liang's thirst for vengeance. What's even more noteworthy is that we have Kuai Liang, a mortal, speak to Liu Kang, a literal god, about punishing someone else as if he's entitled to do so? Should it not be up to Liu Kang to decide whether Bi-Han deserves forgiveness or punishment? Do we need to add a god complex to the list of Kuai Liang's flaws?

There's nothing honorable about vengeance. It's honorable to be the bigger person and to forgive.

As Chinese philosopher Confucius said:

“Love thy neighbour as thyself: Do not do to others what thou wouldst not wish be done to thyself: Forgive injuries. Forgive thy enemy, be reconciled to him, give him assistance, invoke God in his behalf.”

Kuai Liang has none of that honor he claims to value.

Tanya:

Tanya: Liu Kang says we can trust you. Kuai Liang: As long as Outworld's goals don't conflict with Earthrealm's.

Let me translate it: "No, you can't. I'll stop being a reliable ally and might betray you as soon as our interests no longer align." Which is fair enough, he doesn't owe Outworld his loyalty. It's, however, funny that that's exactly what Bi-Han did with Liu Kang/Earthrealm too, but for some reason Kuai Liang is still delusional enough to think he's a more honorable man than his brother?

Kung Lao:

Kung Lao: I bet I could be Shirai Ryu. Scorpion: First, you must learn humility.

Also Scorpion:

Ashrah: I'd do well to follow your example. Scorpion: Then start by studying my kombat.

Quan Chi: Your brother told me of all your weaknesses. Scorpion: A short conversation, sorcerer?

Kuai Liang is a hypocrite who doesn't practice what he preaches. These are just two of many dialogues in which he comes off as overly confident and boastful. He will try to force his own values and ideals onto others but will not uphold them himself. These dialogues are not even the only example of his hypocrisy, but more of that to come later.

Smoke and the Shaolin monks:

Scorpion: Was it worth it, training with the Shaolin? Smoke: Let me show you what I learned.

Yet another example for Kuai Liang's arrogance. "Was it worth it?" What's that even supposed to mean? Admittedly, this might not sound as bad compared to everything else he's said but I invite you to go and listen to this specific intro and pay attention to the tone of his voice. To me, it very much sounds like, as a former Lin Kuei, he thinks there's nothing the monks can teach him and Tomáš anymore and therefore he sees training with them as a waste of time. Overall, Kuai Liang seems to hold little respect for his allies. He might not outright say it, but there's definitely a superiority complex there.

Johnny:

Scorpion: Your mansion was unduly extravagant. Johnny Cage: It came with the megastardom. Package deal.

What gives Kuai Liang the right to judge Johnny for what he does with his money that he's earned from his movies? Judging people and acting like he has the moral high ground over them in any situation is something Kuai Liang does a lot. That alone might not automatically make him a bad person, but it's tasteless and impolite nonetheless.

Johnny Cage: With your skills you'd be a hit, Kuai Liang. Scorpion: Do I look like an entertainer?

Again, if you listen to the actual intro, the distaste in his voice is obvious. He seems to not have much respect for Johnny's profession or for most of his allies' professions, really. Remember his reaction to Tomáš training with the Shaolin monks?

Rain:

Scorpion: Like a dog, you bit the hand that fed you. Rain: You've no right to judge me, Earthrealmer.

He doesn't -- because did Kuai Liang not do the same to Bi-Han? It doesn't matter that Bi-Han chose the wrong side, Kuai Liang's oath was to his grandmaster, not to Earthrealm. Bi-Han broke his oath to Earthrealm and by breaking his own oath to his brother, Kuai Liang is no better. And as I already explained in the first part of my analysis, Kuai Liang always meant to overthrow Bi-Han, even before Bi-Han abandoned his duties to defend Earthrealm. Bi-Han gave in to corruption and became a traitor, Kuai Liang was always a traitor in disguise. Kuai Liang is yet again being a hypocrite in this situation and displays double standards.

Kenshi:

Scorpion: Do not let Sento become a crutch. Kenshi: I could win this fight with or without it.

Does anyone else think this comment sounds a lot like ableism? Who is he to tell a disabled man how to handle his disability? Kenshi is a badass, he's proven that countless of times and he doesn't need Kuai Liang's advice, but Kuai Liang has a habit of acting like he knows better than others.

Bi-Han (again):

Shang Tsung: It was all too simple, pulling your brother's strings. Kuai Liang: It sickens me that he was so easily exploited.

Bi-Han fell victim to Shang Tsung's manipulation, yet here Kuai Liang is, blaming the victim. Meanwhile, Tomáš:

Smoke: I rue the day I ever met you. Quan Chi: No sense dwelling on the past, Tomáš.

Tomáš regrets ever meeting the sorcerers because he rightfully blames the people responsible for this whole mess, Shang Tsung and Quan Chi, not Bi-Han. Kuai Liang is miles away from the same level of emotional maturity Tomáš has.

Scorpion: "Bi-Han's trail has led me to Sun Do." Li Mei: "I'll abide no vigilante justice, Kuai Liang."

Scorpion: If you know where he is, tell me. General Shao: As if I would spill your brother's secrets.

Scorpion: I need help to find Bi-Han. Johnny Cage: Y'know I was only a TV detective, right?

Kuai Liang is making his own family feud everyone else's problem.

SPOILERS: At the same time, when Bi-Han will crash Kuai Liang's wedding in the dlc according to leaks, Kuai Liang will "apologize" to those who attended that they got dragged into his war with Bi-Han, once again painting his brother as the villain. Could he be any more duplicitous? I think the main reason why Smoke is not mentioned in any leaks is because the writers might deliberately not want him to be there because the way Kuai Liang acts (wanting to kill Frost, leaving Bi-Han to suffer and die) would go against everything Tomáš believes in and they can't have someone make Scorpion look bad, so they decided to just have Tomáš not be there at all. If that doesn't say it all, I don't know what will.

Kuai Liang:

Scorpion: I won't be consumed by vengeance. Scorpion: How can your father's death not burn you.

You know it's bad when your own alternate self starts judging you and criticizing your ways.

Geras:

Scorpion: I want to see the moment my father died. Geras: You are not ready to receive that knowledge.

I wonder why Geras denied Kuai Liang's request. Is he concerned that actually witnessing the event will make Kuai Liang lose his mind completely and he will make even more of an effort to kill Bi-Han? He surely seems to think Kuai Liang is too unstable to receive that information. But then again, Kuai Liang already wants to kill Bi-Han, he already tried to do it and he already knows what happened. When will he be ready in Geras' opinion? Once he already forgave Bi-Han (which seems like it won't happen at all)? Would that not just reignite his old hatred? Could it be that there's more to the death of Kuai Liang's father than we know? Is there something Geras is trying to hide from Kuai Liang on purpose?

Ashrah:

Ashrah: Bi-Han can be redeemed. Scorpion: I don't see how that's possible.

It sounds a lot like Kuai Liang doesn't want it to be possible. He wants to deny his brother a chance at redemption. He's also once again acting like he knows better than everyone else. It's getting to the point where he seems self-righteous and out of touch with reality.

So, tell me again, after all that, why are we calling Kuai Liang a nice guy?

To conclude this, Kuai Liang only appears "nice" in direct comparison to Bi-Han, not necessarily because he's a better person, he's just the more agreeable one of the two. Take Bi-Han out of the picture and it's plain to see Kuai Liang is really not that nice. I also don't see how Kuai Liang is the poor, traumatized victim that never did anything wrong in his life, as fans like to describe him as. Yes, he suffered as well, but victims can also become aggressors. There are plenty of situations in which that's the case for Kuai Liang. Again, this is not hate or an attempt to completely demonize him, just to show that the fandom has a wrong idea of who Kuai Liang is and what he's like.

[youneedsomeprompts]

I am currently writing a story, and almost every character I’ve introduced so far uses she/her pronouns. I keep having to use their names over and over and it looks redundant and odd. I’ve used epithets a few times but I absolutely hate having to do that.

Is there any advice you have for this sort of issue, and if so, it would be great if you could share some! Thank you :)

Multiple Characters with the Same Pronouns

Having multiple characters with the same pronouns in one scene can make describing the scene a little difficult. I'm not sure if I have entirely new tips for you because you already pointed out the three most common ways to refer to a character (name, pronouns, epithets (a term used to characterise a person/thing)) and what the problems with each one can be. But I'll try my best :)

Repetition of Pronouns

First off, there is nothing wrong with using the character's pronouns a lot, as long as the reader can follow. A good thumb rule is that all fitting pronouns following the mention of a name (or an epithet) are referring to that mentioned character.

"Eleanor stormed out of the house. Her feet carried her aimlessly down the gravel path. She didn't care about the stares and she wouldn't slow down no matter what they would call after her. She had her mind made up."

This example is rather clear because there is not much back and forth between multiple characters with the same pronouns. It is very obvious that every 'she' and 'her' refers to the character named Eleanor. Now, if we have, let's say four characters in a scene that use she/her pronouns, we can still try to apply the same rule. Use an epithet or the name when the focus wanders from one character to the other. In between, when treating the same character, you can easily use their pronouns.

"Eleanor gritted her teeth. Why did she have to listen to her mother's long sermons? It wasn't fair. Everyone knew she had more important things to do. But now her mother's eyes bore even more accusingly into her. 'Do you think this is a joke, Eleanor?' Mother's voice flipped as she drew out the syllables of her daughter's name. 'Oh, leave her be, mother!' Ivy chimed in. She was always ready to defend her elder sister. She was such a sweetheart, Eleanor thought. Meredith, of course, had a different opinion. 'I don't know why Eleanor should get a different treatment than we. All she does is make trouble, and now there isn't even a consequence, or what?' She wasn't hateful, she just had a very strong sense of justice. Too strong maybe, Eleanor thought. People were different enough; a good reason to treat them individually and not by some harsh standards that Meredith so liked to set."

I don't know if this is the best example but I hope it demonstrates a way to deal with the problem. Just as using pronouns a lot, it's also alright to repeat the characters' names quite a few times. It can help the reader 're-centre' in the story and be clear about which character is actually doing what.

Epithets

As to epithets, you don't have to use them excessively if you don't like it, but I feel it can be a great way to loosen up the story a bit here and there. As you said, with quick changes of focus between the characters, there is not much possibility to use the pronouns because we have to 'reintroduce' the characters whenever the focus of action changes. We don't always want to use their name for that. So? Epithets? Maybe it helps to find the right epithets for your story. Maybe it doesn't feel cohesive to use attributes like 'the red-haired woman' or 'the grim-looking, old man'. Maybe it fits the story more to use the characters' roles like 'the teacher' or 'the butler'. I think when using the fitting epithets it can feel so coherent that you don't even notice them. E.g. Of course, character X is the driver, so we refer to them as the driver every now and then. Of course, character Y is the father of Z, so we can use epithets referring to their parental role. This, for example, can feel very natural, but what exactly feels natural is individual to every story/scene. It can be one way to look for the epithets that are most natural to the character to not interrupt the flow of the story. Or it can be another way to look for the epithets that most set the character apart from the other characters to make a clear distinction of who exactly is acting right now. You can make this choice again and again with every new sentence. And of course, there are a lot more ways to categorise and choose epithets (I could maybe make another post about that if there is interest). But I hope this may already help a little :)

Let me know if you have more questions about this topic!

[cripplecharacters]

I have a small cast of fan characters, for a little story that I do post on here but purposely has a very small audience. All of them have various disabilities. (One is deaf, one has a facial difference and unrelated speech issues, one has a congenital limb difference and autism, one is blind… there are others.) I only have one of those disabilities (autism), and the more I write, the more I feel like I shouldn’t write. I follow this blog, look up resources, and try very hard to avoid any harmful tropes. I make it known that I am open to issues being pointed out to me so that I can do better.

But time and time again I feel like I am doing more harm than good. Tonight I have reached the point of wondering whether I should even keep writing these disabilities at all. It’s not that I don’t consider the research worth doing, or that I don’t want to put forth the effort. It’s not that at all. It’s just that I am so overwhelmed and scared of getting things wrong. I don’t want to contribute to any harmful depictions in any way, but I feel like I will mess up no matter what. I feel like it’s arrogant of me to write characters who deal with things I don’t, and that no amount of research can give me the nuance or awareness to write things I don’t experience. I feel like nothing I could do in this situation would be good or right.

Because on the other hand, I don’t want to get rid of the characters’ disabilities, since that’s bad too!

I try very hard to write in a respectful and informed way. But at the end of the day, I don’t have those others disabilities, so maybe I just shouldn’t be writing them. Is it better to avoid writing what I don’t personally experience, and just stick to my own disability?

— MicronLizard

Hi!

Of course we have to write about experiences other than our own. Otherwise our stories would be boring--we can't only write people exactly like us all the time.

Please write disabled characters of all types. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. You won't know everything and that's okay! It's okay for your work to not be perfect representation. And there are plenty of resources out there to help you fix mistakes. Run ideas by us, get a sensitivity reader, ask around disabled communities if anybody is willing to give feedback!

Even if you've done all your research, you won't create a character that resonates with 100% of people with your character's disability. Everyone has different experiences. Some disabled characters that others love are not what I want to see represented; that doesn't mean it's bad representation!

The goal is just to write something beyond a trope. It's impossible to capture every single nuance of the messy reality of disability within a story. If you are so scared of writing "good rep" that you don't include it, we won't get any more rep. Imperfect but well-intentioned representation is far better than stereotypes or no representation at all.

Mod Rock

Hello!

From this ask, I don't see any way in which your writing would be doing harm. As you mention: you research, you try to avoid harmful tropes, look up resources, are open to feedback, put in effort. Plus on the basis of this ask existing and us answering it, you talk to other disabled people about writing disabled characters.

Just based on this, you're doing more than 90% of published writers who write disabled characters, and more than 99% of writers who only share their stories online. I know that this blog might give off a different impression based on the complexity and specificity of asks we get and advice we give, but the average writer doesn't know there's more than one sign language nor that most blind people can see a bit, most of them refuse to say the word "amputee" in favor of basically anything else. A ridiculous amount of people are under the impression that the only good story involving a disabled person is one that ends in a cure. The bar is on the floor.

Most of the harmful representation we reference in all the posts, the tropes that get repeated all the time, they are a result of not doing research and not looking a single thing up, simply not caring. Most "representation" is done from memory, literally whatever the author thinks the disability is. It's not a rare occurrence to see a disabled character and be able to tell that there wasn't even a Wikipedia article involved when creating the character, let alone actual disabled humans. Half the time the memory isn't even from a real source, it's just a different badly made character.

I can see your worries, but logically speaking, you seem to know too much to do a lot of this dumb shit. You don't have to know literally everything to show something with depth and nuance, things that most writers don't consider as an aspect of disability representation in the first place. We have a "don't just ask us 'how to write a disabled character?'" rule in our FAQ because of this - people don't expect there to be any nuance and are surprised to hear that we aren't actually a monolith. A lot of people, and I genuinely mean it, don't differentiate between disabilities. There are writers who write about their deaf characters using braille to read and their blind Japanese characters using ASL to speak. I see artists confuse mobility canes and white canes. Don't even start me on the nonsense that goes on in the realm of mentally ill characters.

If every writer did what I mentioned in the first paragraph of my reply, life would be awesome. There's a difference between a mistake in the grand scheme of things and literally not seeing disability as something worth thinking about for more than a few minutes. Like yeah, there is a chance that when reading, a reader with disability X might go "oh, the author isn't X" because there was an oversight in how the character did some activity on page 71. So what? That's bound to happen literally no matter what you write unless it's an autobiography. Toph Beifong is considered a beloved character that's still one of the best blind characters in media even though she falls into tropes and gets stuff wrong. Trying to make something absolutely perfect is counterproductive and ironically enough will result in less good representation.

You might decide to scrap your character with a facial difference because you think you shouldn't write them, but I promise you that the new indie horror game dev won't. Characters that will be the pain of my existence, made by people who couldn't give less shit, will keep being made into eternity. There's no avoiding it. There will be ninety-nine horrible characters made that might as well have had "ableism" as their character concept. If you decide to not scrap yours, we will have the 1% that was made with respect and sincerity in mind.

No one reasonably expects 100% accuracy from works of fiction, I personally expect research and respect. If you're doing that, your work will probably be at the very top of representation I've seen. Keep writing.

mod Sasza

[just-a-ghost00]

Advice from passed on loved ones and ancestors

I saw a post lately about how the tarot community is mainly about FS and love related content and it really made me think about my own practice and consumption. I think tarot is first and foremost a tool for spiritual growth and so I want to do more readings on those themes. Today, we are asking your spiritual support team to share with us advice meant to help you grow and thrive. You get to pick your group by choosing between the following emojis : 1🦄 2🍊 3🏊🏼‍♂️

Group 1 🦄

I will start this reading by interpreting the emoji you picked. To me, the Unicorn represents magic, lightheartedness and trust in the Universe. It represents purity and open mindedness. So I guess the first piece of advice that your team is giving you is to embrace whatever is coming your way. Instead of having a combative appproach, fighting people and things happening in your life, resisting change or wanting to control the outcome of things, try a more passive approach. Being passive doesn’t mean doing nothing. Being passive means that you allow things to come to you as they are and you learn how to work with them instead of working against them. For instance, let’s say you are given the opportunity to work on a project. Your first instinct may be to want to take the lead and create everything from scratch. But maybe instead of doing that, you could work on this project basing yourself off of the work your teammates have suggested or what your mentors have done before.

Now, moving onto your cards, you got the following : 4 of wands, knight of swords, the Emperor.

You are advised to count on your family and closest friends on your journey. At the moment, this course of action is the best thing for you to do. I’m hearing don’t underestimate the knowledge and power of others. Some of you may feel like your loved ones wouldn’t be able to understand what you are going through or provide meaningful help. Spirit is telling you that you are wrong thinking so. You would be surprised with what your people can do. Especially if we’re talking about an important father figure around you. The second piece of advice is to communicate clearly with people around you in a way that asserts your power and authority. That doesn’t mean that you should be agressive but definitely don’t be afraid to speak up your mind. Your ideas are valuable and you matter. No one should be able to walk over you as they please. Let people know that you are mature enough to make your own decisions after weighing the pros and cons. By doing so, you will prove people in your community that you are driven and reliable. The third piece of advice is to not be afraid to be more masculine, more dominant and communicative, more demonstrative in your relationships. If you were afraid of coming off too strong to a certain person you love, spirit is saying "we’ll be having none of that BS". On the contrary, you have to show this person all of you. Including the bossy side. Don’t dim your light for anyone. No matter how much you love them. Your spiritual team is telling you that embracing your power and your masculine will strengthen your bonds with this person. Because they like to know that their partner can handle things on their own and doesn’t need them to thrive. They like to see a strong, independent and confident partner. The brighter you shine, the more they’ll be drawn to you. That is also true for any person that’s a part of your tribe. How can you expect people to find you if you don’t let yourself be seen? Send the signal. Burn oh so bright, beautiful spark 🔥

Group 2 🍊

Sweet group 2 you picked the lovely orange as your emoji. To me, oranges represent joy, fun, warmth, gentleness, Summer. You are encouraged to have fun and do things that make you happy. Self care is a major theme for your reading I feel. I’m told that you tend to overwork yourself and be very harsh on yourself, especially when you feel like you’re not being as successful as you should. I’m also picking up on people not being happy about their body image. You could feel guilty about eating food and spirit is saying just do you. No stress. You’ll be okay. Go at your own pace and do your best. You are enough ❤️

Now moving on to your cards you have the following : king of cups, 9 of wands, queen of cups. I’m getting several interpretations for this combination of cards. So I’m going to do my best explaining them. First of all, there’s a message for people who are in a connection with someone that is a bit difficult at the moment. You may feel like you are constantly the one making the effort to make this work. Your team is advising you to pour in your own cup instead. A relationship takes two to tango. If that person is not willing to express their own feelings and show you that they care about this connection, it is not your job to do it in their stead. Maybe they just are not mature enough to be in your league and that is not your fault. Your job is not to save this person. Your job is to uplift yourself and hopefully this person will feel inspired to do the same if that is their cup of tea. But you shouldn’t focus on you just for the sake of their well being. You should do it for your own. The second scenario that I am picking up on is for people that are single. Your team encourages you to keep moving forward and hold on. You have been working very hard lately and they want to reassure you on the fact that you are close to victory. Very soon your hurdles will be over. You are asked to be gentle with yourself and pat yourself on the back because not only do you deserve it but your achievements are going to be spectacular. You may be on the verge of manifesting a precious connection without realizing it. As I was typing that the autocorrect function changed precious into previous. So maybe this person is someone from your past coming back under your radar. This may be someone you deeply wished to be with in the past but never got the chance to be with them or someone you where with but went their separate way for some reason or another. No matter your situation, the major keywords are : self love, self care and gentleness. Don’t repress your emotions. Feel free to express them in creative ways. Don’t give up on your dreams. A peaceful time is coming your way so do not despair ✨

Group 3 🏊🏼‍♂️

Hello dear group 3. I will start your reading by interpreting the emoji you picked. You are advised to either practice a physical activity or to dive into your emotions. You can also work with water energies to enhance healing and inner peace. You may be the type to enjoy going to the swimming pool or the beach. If that is your case then this is your confirmation sign.

Moving on to your cards you got the following : 5 of wands clarified by the king of cups, 6 of cups, knight of pentacles.

If there is currently conflicts in your relationships in general, you are encouraged to soothe your interactions with them. Try to reconnect with your partner, your family, your friends. Extend that olive branch. Invite them to dinner or to hang out in nature. It is important to rekindle connections at this time of your life. Do so at your own pace, slowly but surely. Take the time to get to know people or rediscover the people you know. Reconnect over past memories, activities you used to do at the beginning of your relationship. Try to put water in your wine. Meaning, you have to temper yourself and try to find a common ground with the people around you. If a friendly offer is made to you, don’t reject them because of past experiences and struggles. Don’t be petty. If help is being offered to you, see past your grudges and reluctances, give yourself and this person the opportunity to learn from each other and start anew. You are encouraged to clean the slate and start on healthier bases. Even if people are being a bit tense around you, adopt a peaceful approach. Soothe people’s worries and show them they have nothing to fear. Try to mediate if you can. Instead of working on your own look out for people that share similar interests, similar responsibilities or experience. Get out of your shell and out of your comfort zone. Get out of your way and try to understand others. Give others the chance to understand you. You are encouraged to work on your empathetic skills. 🕊️

[genyasbf22]

Genya having a crush on a Male! Reader (rewrite)

Note: I changed the ending part at 4 am because I realised it was rushed…..enjoy your daily dose of doomed yaoi

Trope: angst

PS - Reader is a minor !! Please don’t be creepy thank you very much

You always knew what you were. You never really was attracted to women, and honestly, you didn’t really care. When someone asked you if you had a fiancé/girlfriend, you had no problem telling them you weren’t into girls. You were very much aware that being attracted to the same gender was only gonna cause you problems, not being able to marry, not being able to have kids, not being allowed to love your partner in public.

But who cares ? You were a demon slayer. Love didn’t matter. You were gonna die sooner or later, so finding love wasn’t your priority. You had friends anyways, very good friends. One in particular.

On the other hand, Genya Shinazugawa had no idea of what sexuality was. He was always taught that men falls in love with women. I mean, its normal right ? Never in his life he has imagined that maybe, men who loved other men and women who loved other women existed. When he grew a little older, he vaguely heard of homosexuality. And don’t take it to heart, but it grossed him out at first. Boys who likes boys ? That’s so weird…why on earth would someone refuse to love a girl and date a man instead ?

-

You two met a long time ago, before you officially entered the demon slayer corps.

It was the final selection. You were about 14 years old. You had to stay in those dark, hostile mountains for 7 days, trying your best to survive against demons. You saw multiple people your age getting killed, and to be fully honest, you struggled keeping your calm (which was understandable).

While you were trying to figure out if a demon was following you, you saw a tall, black haired boy from afar. He looked around your age, and you wanted to team up with somebody to feel safer. So you came up to him. It caught him off guard that you talked to him at first, He was probably expecting to work alone.

He refused to team up with you at first, assuming that you were ”too weak” and that ”you’ll slow him down”. How rude, why would he assume things about you when you two didn’t even know each other ?

For some reason, he ended up accepting anyways.

Nothing special happened during those 7 days. You two barely spoke to eachother. Just slaying demons and trying your best to survive.

Sometimes though, you could notice him staring at you for a little too long. But you didn’t pay much attention to it.

After the final selection, You said goodbye to Genya, telling him to be careful out there, and to take care of himself. He simply ignored you. What was his problem ?

Month later, you saw Genya again during a mission. What a coincidence you thought, maybe it was a sign for you two to become friends ?

You tried your best to be as patient, as nice to Genya as possible. He ended up ”tolerating you” enough to stop him from yelling at you all the time (which was a great start !) After achieving several missions together, you two slowly grew closer. Your personality matched his surprisingly well. You learned a lot about him, and he learned a lot about you. Genya started to open up to you about his brother and his struggles, asking you for advices. You were always very patient and made sure to tell him that you’ll always be there for him, which he was grateful for. He never told you, but you were his first real friend and his best friend, ever.

But things started getting weird. Well, i wouldn’t say weird, but complicated at least.

It was the first time in a long time Genya hadn’t met someone who showed so much interest with him. You were always carefully listening to whatever he was saying, the spark in your eyes never leaving. It flattered him a lot. He admired you so much, the way you fight, the way you spoke, the way you act with people. There was a desire in him that wanted to become closer to you. The more he hung out with you, the more he wanted you to spend time with him.

He didn’t know what that feeling was at first, obviously. He thought it was nothing but pure platonic appreciation. For him, being jealous whenever someone gets a little too close to you was completely normal. For him, his heart thundering in his chest whenever you complimented him was nothing but ordinary. For him, feeling his cheeks burning when your face was too close to his was a common thing. It’s normal right ? Boys don’t like boys. People like that are absurd. He’s not one of them. He’ll never be one of them.

One day, Genya had a big fight with his older brother, the wind Hashira. You hated that man. You hated the way he treated your dear friend. You had warned Genya about Sanemi a lot, telling him to never say anything about him eating demons. You knew damn well what he could do, and you wanted to do anything to prevent that from happening.

But Genya just didn’t listen. You knew he was stubborn, so when you saw him bleeding from his cheek after returning from the wind Pillar’s domain, you weren’t surprised.

You were anxious, you were tired, but you couldn’t be mad. Not at him. Genya was devastated from what just happened, he needed your presence and your support. You knew his relationship with his brother was putting him into a lot of pressure, the only thing you had to do was to find a way to cheer him up a little.

You didn’t have much time to do something for him. It was evening, shops were closed, so you couldn’t buy him any watermelon, like you usually did. It didn’t really matter anyway, Genya needed your reassurance, nothing else. So you helped him clean his wound and stayed with him for the rest of the day.

The sun was set, the night was slowly rising. You had to go home soon. You looked at your friend one last time. He looked back at you.

He loves you, you love him. It was pretty obvious, but ignoring that feeling was easier. You knew Muzan was going to attack the corps sooner or later anyway, you’ll probably die soon, but why does it matter ? So many thoughts running in your mind, oh how you wished life was easier.

You stare into Genya’s eyes. How perfect this man is. And suddenly your hand feels empty, aching to hold his. Suddenly you want to grab his face and kiss him, feel his lips against yours, fully love him the way you always wanted to.

But you can’t do this, you can’t do this to him, you can’t ruin you two’s friendship you knew he cherished. So you stay quiet, suddenly avoiding his gaze, looking down at the floor. You say goodbye, you tell him to take care of himself, to stay safe. He smiles slightly, waving at you.

And you’ll never know, you’ll never know how much he wished you could’ve done it, you’ll never know how much he craved your affection. You’ll never know how much he adored you, how much he needed you.

- - -

Author’s note: I’m sorry 😭

[funnier-as-a-system]

okay, this is gonna sound super stupid, but I desperately need advice:

does talking to other people in your head to comfort yourself count as being on the plurality spectrum?? I'm not educated on it by any means, and sometimes its just my own thoughts, and sometimes theres other people in my head. Am i just making this all up??? Im actually kinda nervous ab this , so any advice is welcome ,,

(other info: I also disassociate sometimes too, just going throughout my days just living in my head / talking to myself, or feeling like nothing is real ,, )

It very well may be plurality! In fact, I'd say it almost certainly sounds like it!

In plurality, there is more than one self-aware self or being occupying the same body. This includes situations of multiple people sharing the same body who talk to each other (and comfort each other). The question for you, then, is this: are these people you talk to self-aware? Or are they simple figures you imagine to bring you comfort? (There's no shame in the second, btw!)

Since you talk to them, it seems like the best course of action may be to just ask them whether or not they consider themselves their own people, or headmates. If they answer "yes", well, that's that, isn't it? You've got multiple people in your head who can think for themselves! (And if you feel like you're controlling or strongly guiding their answer, well, that's an indicator in the other direction, isn't it?) Now, this may get a bit tricky since it's sometimes your own thoughts that you talk to, but I assume there's a distinction between your thoughts and these other people that you can make and recognize whenever you talk to yourself or them. I also acknowledge that self-doubt is an annoying burr when it comes to things like this, and your initial reaction may be, "But what if I just imagine/make up their answer?" – in these cases, there's not much you can do except do your best to trust your headmates that they're speaking for themselves, but if you're especially worried about it, looking for corroborative evidence of plurality – like switches, memory gaps, differences in opinion between yourself and your headmates, etc. – may help you shut down those fears of making it all up. Speaking of...

The dissociation you mention also sounds like another indicator that you may be plural, as systems often experience dissociation like that. Granted, so do those with immersive daydreaming, but that just loops us back around to the question of whether or not these people in your head are temporary figments of your imagination you conjure up for the purpose of comfort or a daydream narrative, or just people living in there who comfort you when you need it. And if you've got a feeling one way or the other just based on the way I'm talking about them... follow it. It's probably the right one.

I very much doubt that you're making all this up; whether or not you're plural, you're definitely experiencing something, and you wouldn't request advice if that something didn't matter to you. With all honesty, I'm trying to do my best to cover all possibilities here just in case, but if this weren't already a conversation about you questioning if you're a system, I would be suggesting that you look into the idea of plurality from the moment you mentioned these other people in your head.

In conclusion, while I'd never decide for someone else whether or not they're on the plurality spectrum, it does sound very, very likely to me that you are. "I have people in my head who comfort me and aren't just my own thoughts." is a very, very plural thing to say.

If you'd like to learn more about plurality, I recommend checking out morethanone and healthymultiplicity.com. They're good resources for those new to plurality, as well as those questioning if they're plural.

I hope this helps!

[cpericardium]

So! I've gotten a host of messages and asks regarding recent disk horse and I wanted to address them as a collective.

I know I have anon asks off, I won't share your URLs, but I do want to thank you for asking and clarifying some of the frankly vile things people have been saying about me, my girlfriend, and friends. I value those of you who offered your words of support, and didn't jump to believe screenshots taken out of context and lies written with the utmost confidence and none of the facts. I am a little tired of having my morals questioned and my views conflated with every single person I associate with, but there it goes.

tumblr user cpericardium suspiciously silent on the subject of Gaza: does this mean you support ethnic cleansing???

My reticence when it comes to posting about topics like I/P is because:

-This is a fandom blog intended for lighter topics, except maybe the occasional vent about life stuff, which I usually hide under a cut. I don't have sideblogs. They seem tough to maintain and I don't post nearly enough to justify it. If I were to make one it would be for another fandom or maybe just the freakier bugs. I simply prefer my social media experience to be stress-free.

-Anti-slacktivism. It's a documented thing: posting about an issue makes you feel like you're doing something, you get that little shot of dopamine, so you don't actually go out and do something that effects meaningful change. I'm trying to do less of that. I'm good with the friends and people I follow who choose to post about it and this is a strictly personal belief, but when I engage in activism, it is offline or it is a donation. You're not going to hear about it.

But don't you reblog lgbt and women's rights posts?

Yeah, and that's usually when I want to save a post for one reason or another (e.g. to talk about with someone on discord later). The bottom line is that the main purpose of my blog is not to post political takes or to spread awareness of anything. It is just a collection of my interests (fan stuff, bugs) and hopefully a way to share those interests with like-minded people.

I will state my views clearly for the record: I support Palestine. The ongoing genocide is heartbreaking and so is the violence against protestors. Additionally, I am against antisemitism and the harassment of Jewish people in the name of supporting Palestine. This shouldn't even need to be said.

Is your girlfriend a Zionist?

No.

Does she support Zionists?

No.

Wasn't she in the military?

Yes, years ago.

But the military is evil?

It is. She's extremely hardcore anti-war and anti-military, does not believe the US should even have an army, and actively PMs strangers on reddit to try to convince them to not make the same mistake. If they're dead set anyway, she gives them detailed advice on how to survive. Because she actually cares about the human cost of war, not the social clout gained from shunning or sneering at people who make wrongheaded choices. I have seen her doing this, seen her seeking to understand their reasons for joining so she can systematically explain—from personal experience!—why they're not going to get any of that out of the army. It is a hell of a lot more effective than bitching them out or writing callout posts or starting whisper campaigns about them. She cannot delete those years of her life no matter how much she regrets them. There is only forward. I think we can all agree on that.

But what about all those things she said. "I regret nothing, I have no qualms, VA nipple money etc."

Well you have to understand that while of generally upright character, she is a bit of a scamp. She believes she fundamentally should not have to explain herself to randos who do not know her, who have never, not once, interacted with her, who are clearly digging for dirt and will twist anything she says no matter how banal. People see what they want to see and they look for evidence to reinforce their preconceptions; they'll go so far as to make alts to join servers, cherry-pick screencaps, crop them, and conveniently fill in the rest of the narrative for curious onlookers. So she decided to exaggerate and amplify and twirl her mustache like a supervillain. Give them a show, as it were.

To be clear, I'm not sold on this strat because it makes her look cartoonishly evil to people who can't understand sarcasm and hyperbole. But her friends and I are aware of her actual beliefs from actually talking with her for more than one (1) second instead of immediately believing two mysteriously cropped screencaps from a thirdhand source, and also aware that she did not in fact do those things people imagine she did. And isn't that what matters? Real-life harm? Do you even care?

Re: screenshots/so-called proof from shakertwelve & lakesbian's "callouts"

Girlfriend addresses them here. I will also note they have spread lies about me and other people before.

[rafyki]

Goth! Nico/ Surfer! Percy AU Part 6!

Sorry for the little wait, I couldn't find a moment to write lately o<-< good thing I had this half written already! Anyway, have some more Nico&Leo dynamics and some more pining - and also, I promise things are gonna move forward soon!! (but I needed more setup before our two boys finally start properly acting on their crush lmao)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

You can also read it on AO3!!

~~~~~~

Percy didn't come to the beach the next day, the day after that, and for the whole following week.

Nico wasn't sulking about it, he was not. Maybe panicking a little inside, questioning every single word they had said to each other and trying to find in them some hidden reason that would push Percy to never go back there and leave the country just to make sure he wouldn't see Nico again. 

But he wasn't sulking.

“Take that pouty look off your face, goth boy, you're gonna scare the customers away”.

“I’m not pouting”.

“You kind of are though”, Leo said. “Which is fair, I guess, you miss your surfer boy”.

Nico felt a blush coming up to his face at the same time of the familiar find annoyance he associated with no one but Leo.

“He's not my-”, he started, then stopped and took a deep breath. “I'm not pouting”, he just said again. “It's not like he lives on the beach, right, he must have a life outside of surfing”.

Maybe he was trying to convince himself more than Leo, but that didn't matter.

The way his eyes moved around scanning the beach was automatic, as was the sigh that escaped him. Maybe he was being silly, and a little pathetic - he knew that, but still couldn’t help the way his heart kept falling again and again, nor the way the empty chair before him (Percy’s chair) seemed to lay in wait just like Nico was.

He definitely needed to find some way to distract himself.

“Sure, which is why I told you to ask for his number”, Leo replied. “And if you had listened to my genius advice, maybe you could be texting him right now, instead of sulking and hoping he shows up”.

“Why are you even here, Leo?”, he said, ignoring Leo’s last words and trying instead to change the subject. “Jason’s not coming today, you know that”.

“Am I not allowed to visit a friend? My dear friend who’s pining and suffering and definitely needs my support?”, Leo said, accompanying his dramatic words with an overdramatic hand on his heart. 

Nico just rolled his eyes at him.

“I definitely don't”, he said, even though the truth was that he actually enjoyed the company. Leo’s presence was the only thing saving him from a long and lonely work day. “And non-shift days for Jason are usually when you have your dates”, he added.

“I knoow”, Leo said, a pout forming on his lips. “But Thalia came back yesterday, so today is their brother-and-sister date”.

“Ah, that’s right, Jason did mention that”.

“Can’t interfere with siblings time”.

“So you had nothing better to do today and came here”.

“I came here to save you from your loneliness, goth boy”, Leo said. “Also, I do enjoy your company”.

Nico smiled, and offered him ice cream as a silent thanks. 

“It reminds me of when it was the other way around and you helped me when I was pining for Jason”.

Nico made a face at the memory, then laughed. “Oh my god, you were terrible- absolutely pathetic”, he said. “Thank god you’re together now”.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m gonna say when you and your surfer boy will finally get together”.

Nico’s smile faltered, his heart jumping and then growing heavy at the words - like it couldn’t decide if he felt more pleased at the idea of it ever happening or more glum at the prospect of Percy never going back there.

Few long moments of silence followed, and Nico’s mind went back to the thoughts tormenting him.

And there was also something else, something that Nico was trying not to focus too much about. 

Leo looked at Nico in silence for a while, his cheek resting on the palm of his hand. Nico could almost see the gears turning in his head. “Are you worried about him?”

Nico looked away. He felt stupid thinking about it even more than he did when panicking and making everything probably bigger than it was. 

Logically speaking, it was unlikely that Percy would stop coming to the beach just because Nico was there - there wasn't really anything between them, after all and, from what Nico knew about him, the ocean and surfing were way too important for Percy to give up. 

But it had been a week, and Percy usually came at least two or three times a week, even just for an hour (Nico spent way too much time thinking about him and looking for him to not notice this) - yet, there the beach was, full of people but with no Percy in sight. Nico felt his heart fall again as he scanned the shore around him, looking for familiar black hair and beautiful eyes. He couldn't help but wonder if something had happened, if Percy was doing alright.

“You know he might just be busy”.

“I know”.

“So I think there's no reason for you to worry about him”.

Nico sighed. “I hate it when you make sense”, he said. “Jason is definitely rubbing off of you”.

“That's what love does to a man!”

Nico felt that now familiar pang of not-quite-jealousy as he looked at the smile growing on his friend's face. His eyes scanned the beach again as the thought of I want that too crossed his mind, side by side with the image of two sea-green eyes and a soft smile.

~~~

Nico didn’t expect anything to happen. He spent the whole day waiting and waiting in the hope of Percy showing up, his heart feeling heavier and heavier with every passing hour. 

The truth was that, simply put, he missed Percy - which was stupid and ridiculous, but Nico had been dying to talk to him again, to feel his eyes on himself again, to be on the receiving end of his smile, to get to know something more about him.

He’ll come back at some point, he told himself. Maybe. 

The sun was coming down, the sky colored a pretty shade of yellow and orange and red. The day had felt infinite, time dragging on and simply refusing to pass by, but Nico’s shift was finally almost over. He looked at his phone to check the time, wishing the next fifteen minutes would simply come to an end faster.

He cursed all the gods of all the pantheons ever existed when he saw someone sitting before him. God, how he hated when customers did that.

He forced his usual work smile on his lips and looked up. Then did a double take - the girl sitting in front of him looked strangely familiar, even though he was pretty sure he didn’t actually know her.

All the while taking her order (just a cold water bottle - who even came to a beach kiosk at that hour to ask for nothing but a water bottle?) Nico kept thinking and wondering; maybe she just came there often? But there was something about her that kept pulling at Nico’s memory.

It hit him at once when she was handing him the money to pay.

Ah, it was her. The girl who usually came to the beach with Percy. Nico felt his heart starting to beat faster at the realization.

Would it be weird to ask her about Percy?

Yes it would!, his mind yelled at him. 

But at the same time, every cell in his body was telling him that it didn’t matter, that this was too much of a lucky chance to just let it pass by.

Lost in his thoughts like that, he was definitely taking way more time than necessary to get her change.  

He was worried, he missed Percy so much it was frankly absurd. And he thought his friends would probably back him up in this

“Here”, he said, as he finally handed her her change.

She thanked him and went to turn around. “Uhm!”, Nico started before he could really think about it and stop himself. “Excuse me-”

She turned to look at him again. Was Nico imagining the weird look in her eyes? Yes, she was probably simply annoyed at being called back. “Yes?”

“Ah- sorry”, Nico said, feeling so incredibly stupid. Maybe he should just back out. But then he thought of the long day he had had and of the hole he had felt the whole time. He pushed the words out.

“Uhm, you’re a friend of Percy, right?”

“Yes”, the girl said, nodding. This time Nico was almost certain that there was a weird look in her eyes that he couldn’t exactly interpret - but she looked more curious than anything else, so he counted it as a sign he could go on.

“I just- I just noticed he hasn’t been coming here lately…?”, he said, trying and failing to will his heart to calm down a little. “... is he alright?”

“Oh yeah, he’s been talking about you!”, she replied. “He’s alright, he’s just out of town. He went to New York to visit his mum”.

“Ah, that’s good”. 

The relief was soon pushed aside when the words the girl had said finally hit him.

He’s been talking about you.

What?

He only vaguely registered the girl saying goodbye and waving at him before leaving.

Nico waved back, feeling numb. He hoped his expression wasn’t as dumbstruck as he felt.

He’s been talking about you.

Percy had been talking about him? Nico’s heart was playing athletics in his chest, the butterflies taking residence in his stomach were throwing the most chaotic party ever.

He’s been talking about you.

He put his face in his hands, hiding behind his palms the foolish happy smile that was growing on his lips.

Suddenly, the day didn’t feel as bad as before.

[peachyloveswriting]

I really enjoy how you write Knives and Vash. I enjoyed the one with the sick reader so much.

If by chance could you do something with reader who has bad anxiety and panic attacks?

Maybe for Knives the reader is already feeling down because they are not allowed outside (sorta like seasonal depression I guess) and they feel of no use to him.

For Vash maybe something about how he says he wishes the reader wouldn't follow him and the group to Wolfwood or one of the others and they over hear him. He just wants them safe of course. They feel useless even though they have been able to keep safe so far. Feeling unwanted sends them into a panic.

Lately I have been pretty down and my anxiety about the smallest things have sent me into a panic.

Much love <3

I'm really glad that you've enjoyed my work so far and I hope you feel better soon. For now let me do some comfort and fluff. I'm in the mood right now. Also I've noticed that I sometimes accidentally write in first person so if I switch up on you guys I'm sorry Lmao.

Miscommunication and Self doubt --- Vash & Knives

SUMMARY: It doesn't take a lot to make someone feel worthless, maybe people should pay more attention to what they do.

Millions Knives

Artificial light, the only light that fills every room I've been in for the past four months. When was the last time I felt the suns on my skin, I had a fresh breath of air? God I have no clue. Ever since Knives took me in I've been stuck inside this tower with no hope of ever seeing the outside again. Just to make matters worse I get to watch everyone else do something useful while I sit and hope for a day that will never come. It fills my heart with dread every time I think about it.

I have no special duty, I don't run errands, I don't do chores. I sit and I act as a wall piece all day everyday. I stand by Knives side, accompanying him wherever he wants me too. Watching him play his piano, I feel particularly let down today.

Between the solemn notes and my aching heart, I don't know which was the straw that broke the Camels back, but I fell to my knees. Tears slid down my face and ragged breaths left my mouth, I sobbed, covering my eyes with my hands. Suddenly the melodious tune stopped making its way into my head and someone grabbed my shoulders.

"Petal?" Knives shook me with worry, he's checking me over for the source of my crying, but no injury is visible. "What's wrong?" He pulls my hands away from my face and cups my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. "Speak to me." His hands are gentle as ever, it's almost hard to believe that he's actually touching me.

"What's my point?" I choke out. "What's the point of me being here when I do nothing for you?" I pull away from his touch, another wretched sob falling from my lips. His face softens as his hands fall back to his sides. "Why haven't you killed me yet?"

Through my teary eyes I can see his blades slithering out from behind him, coming right for me. My heart sinks and I feel sick, he was actually taking my advice. This wasn't really the way I wanted it to happen but it was death, the sweet release. Closing my eyes, I patiently wait to feel him cut through me, to tear me apart and never wake me up again. Instead, I feel the blades carefully wrap around my back, pushing me forward.

Opening my eyes, Knives grabs my shoulders once within reach and pulls me against him in a hug. His blades slip off my back but stay close, I can't tell if he's actually debating on killing me or if he's just trying to keep me in place. Against him, I sob. It's hysterical at this point, I'm so lost. He has no reason to keep me here so why am I still here?

"Why?" I have no special purpose for him. "Why am I here?"

One of his hands rubs my back while the other holds the back on my head close to him, he's holding me so gently. I feel like he's scared of hurting me, but why? I serve no purpose to him. Even still, he lets me cry into his shoulder, and even rubs my back in an attempt to comfort me. It's almost like he really does care.

"You're here because I want you to be. I enjoy your company and... You're very interesting to me." He pulls away. "but I don't understand what makes you think I'd kill you. I clearly have a reason not to."

He moves his thumb to swipe away my tears. "I'm sorry it's just... I've been stuck in here for so long I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't... I don't want to be stuck here for the rest of my life. I don't even do anything, I want to do something. I don't want to feel useless."

He leans closer. "I can assure you that you are not useless, you offer me entertainment, company, knowledge, and more. My want is for you to be comfortable, if you are not, I have failed. If you wish to leave I will escort you out?" His offer is kind, I'm taken aback by it. Seeing the way he usually treats things, this was not at all what I expected.

I shake my head. "I do want to leave but not like that! I just want to go outside..." I lift my hand to wipe the wetness from my eyes. "I don't wish to burden you, Knives."

He sighs. "Yet again, you're not a burden." Letting me go completely, his blades retract and he stands. "Come with me." He extends a hand to me. "I shall take you outside."

Taking a deep breath I grab his hand and pull myself up. "Thank you." He doesn't say anything in return, quietly leading me towards his room. Walking through the door I'm greeted by a large bed, I was sure he had never used it. It was untouched, sheets laid without a single wrinkle at all. It was like he'd never even touched it. He pulled me forward towards the large sheath of curtains, brushing them to the side. Bright sunlight fills the room and he pulls open a sliding door, turning to the side he gently tugs me forward. I can already feel the breeze hitting my skin before I ever step out. It feels reliving to feel the wind blowing in my face again.

Stepping out onto the small balcony, I press my hands against the rail and close my eyes. Behind me I can hear the door shut and Knives approaching. The air smells clean and the sun is purifying. I could relish in this moment forever, it makes it even harder to believe I'll have to go back in, I don't want too. I'd rather stay out here where I can feel myself at peace with the world, where the wind blows all my worries away.

"Feel better?" I open my eyes to see Knives leaned on the balcony rail beside me, resting his face in his hand. The corners of his lipa twitch up into a ghostly smile, almost non-existent.

"Much." I adjust my gaze to the city below. "Good. I'll be sure to accommodate you more often. I had never thought to ask how you were doing or what you might have needed."

I take a deep breath. "Thank you, Knives."

He stands up straight. "It's good to see you smile again." At the mention I could suddenly feel the smile on my lips, I hadn't noticed it before. "That's what you'll do for me..."

I look at him confused. "If you want to feel of use to me, smile more. It looks good on you."

Vash

"I'm going to sleep. Good night." You waved everyone goodbye before you claimed into your tent. The outside was illuminated by the flickering fire, Meryl and Roberto had already gone to sleep. It was only Vash and Wolfwood left after you. For a long time it was quiet, sleep was beginning to creep in and you were comfortable. That's when you Heard it.

"Why did they have to stick around?" Vash pokes at the fire with a stick. Wolfwood looks up at him in wonder "Huh? You mean Y/n?"

"Yeah... I just wish they wouldn't stick around." You don't get to hear him finish the sentence, you cover your ears and dig your face into the pillow. Something in your chest aches deeply, the thought of leaving the group after becoming so close to everyone hurts. To think the best out of all of them wanted you gone hurt the most, you didn't do anything to make him hate you. Was it that you didn't contribute? Everyone played their part but you... You were just there.

You don't do anything but cook and help set up camp for the night, it's not much at all compared to what everyone else does. Meryl's got a job with Roberto, Wolfwood is trying to keep you all from dying, and Vash.... He was looking for his brother, trying to save the world. That's more than you could ever do for the group, you bring them down. You get in the way of everyone's objectives, you don't contribute, what's worse than dead weight?

When you uncovered your ears, it was eerily quiet outside, the fire wasn't crackling anymore and Vash and Wolfwood had grown quiet. Heart heavy in your chest, you moved your blanket off of you and climbed to the entrance of your tent. Peeling it back you stick your head outside, the fire is almost out, Vash and the others are nowhere to be seen. You assume they've gone to sleep. Crawling out, you wrap your blanket around your shoulders and walk over to the truck.

The wind nips at your exposed skin as you reach up and grab your bag from the top, it slips from your hands and falls heavily on your foot. Your mouth shoots open to call out in pain but you hiss through clenched teeth instead. After hopping about, you pick the bag up and sling it over your shoulder, stopping to look and back sure you haven't woken anyone up. The silence gives you an answer, you pad back to your tent, quickly undoing it to pack it away in your bag. It fits snugly with all your other items as you tie it back. With everything ready, you tie the blanket securely around you as a coat and begin to walk away from the camp site.

The air is cold and lonely as you venture into the desolate night, from afar strange creatures call out, sending chills through your body. While running with the group, you fared well, managing to keep out of trouble. Alone, you weren't sure you were going to make it. Looking back at the tents, you realize they're much smaller than before. It would be pointless to turn back now, it hurts to leave like this but if Vash didn't want you there you were willing to leave. Albeit bringing you to tears in the process.

For the next day into the night, you traveled alone, not a soul in sight. The heat from the suns has just worn off and the cool nights air breezes past. You haven't stopped since you started, your legs burn with intensity, and your eyes threaten to close. It would be unwise to camp in the middle of the dunes, you searched for a rock face to settle down against but there were none in sight. You realize now that your choice to leave so suddenly without thinking it through wasn't a good idea, you couldn't go back now, they'd certainly have moved on by now. You'd just have to get by until the next town.

Suddenly, from behind you begin to hear shouting. It sounds like your name from somewhere out in the distance, certainly you had to be going crazy. Then it came again, closer this time. You turn to see what's calling out for you, running up on a Thomas, Is Vash.

"Vash?" Your eyes widen in surprise as he jumps off the Thomas, throwing you into the sand, hugging you.

"I was so worried. You scared me. I followed your footsteps for two days!" He pulled back with a smile on his face. Just before he was saying he didn't want you around, now he's acting like he misses you.

"You wanted me to stop following you." His smile falls. "So I left."

His heart falls to his stomach. "What do you mean?"

You blink at him. "You said you didn't want me to follow you around anymore. I overheard when you told Wolfwood."

Vash sits up, pulling you with. "I could see why you wouldn't want me around anymore, I don't do a whole lot..." He frowns, keeping your hand in his. "That's not why I said it." He tips your head up to look at him. "I said it because I'm dangerous. If you stay around me long enough you'll get killed."

I stare at him in silence for a moment. "What bout the others?"

He nods. "Them too. But Wolfwood and Roberto know how to keep themselves alive. You and Meryl... She only has a chance because of Robertoz but you." Vash sighs. Tears start to burn your eyes as you look at him. "Me... I'm worthless." It comes out as a broken sob, one that you can't stop from escaping.

Slumping forward, your head collides with Vash's shoulder. Shaking and sputtering, you sob against him, his hands rushing to soothe your shaking body. He engulfs you in a hug, hands rubbing your back and brushing your head. "Don't say that. You do an amazing job of staying out of trouble and you're an even better addition to the team. But I'm scared you might get hurt one day." His hot breath tickles your skin as he talks. "I want to keep you safe."

White hot anger rushes over you, you raise your head. "Then do that! Don't just send me away and expect that to be even better, it's worse! If you want me to be safe then show me how to use a gun."

His eyes are wide with surprise. You've never yelled at Vash like that, it hurt seeing you so angry. "If that's what you want, I'll do it."

You nod your head. "Yes. Anything to help, please."

"Of course. Let's get back to the others though, you need to eat and get water before you pass out. Sit in front of me so you can rest for a bit too." He takes your hand and pulls you to your feet. "I'm really sorry I made you feel this way." He adverts his gaze as he leads you to the Thomas. "I had no idea you could hear me, it was nothing but the best intentions, I swear."

Vash helps you climb onto the Thomas first before grabbing reigns and hoisting himself up behind you. "I know. It still hurts though."

His face softens. "It won't happen again. I swear. Just stick by my side and you'll be safe."

[parvulous-writings]

Miasma // Halsin x Reader

Summary: Halsin's rescue of Thaniel goes drastically wrong. Gender Neutral reader (they/them pronouns where they had to be used)

Warnings: Angst, character death, no resolution/comfort. Depictions of grief, anger. Violence. Wonky pacing, maybe? Unresolved ending, also - sorry for the hurt in advance!

Words: 3.7K

Notes:  My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!  Original character list - please request for these too!

"The magic is delicate." Halsin had warned - the words now rang in your mind like a knell. "I will need your help if I am to survive- the portal will sap my strength." You had vowed to aid him - to defend the portal that Silvanus had helped him to create. And you had tried. You'd thrown almost every spell that you knew into the shrouded, cursed dark that surrounded your party and the portal, done near everything you could think of to keep the danger at bay. But, somehow, it wasn't enough. Something had gotten through your defenses, though you could barely recall what exactly it was. An arrow? A crow, touched and warped by shadow? The more you dwelled upon the thought, the more your chest began to tighten. What did it matter, what it was that ruptured the portal and caused it's premature collapse? No matter the form of the assailant, it did nothing to change the chain of events that had since then transpired. A gentle voice breaks you from your spiralling thoughts; "At least he is with Lady Shar, if nothing else..." You feel your face contort into a scowl at Shadowheart's words - Halsin was not a worshipper of Shar, why would he be happy that he is with the lady of sorrow? If anything, you thought, it would enrage him that the one who's shadows had laid claim to him, was the one he would be 'with'. But you say nothing to Shadowheart, you know for a fact that the only things that would pass your lips would be words of venomous spite. Not that you didn't like Shadowheart - you were actually quite fond of her, she usually would say things how they were, without sugar-coating them. But in this instance, using the name of Lady Shar to try and bring you some false comfort only made you feel worse.

The trek back to camp was coated in a stony silence. The rest of the party were waiting for you to say something, some words of wisdom or hope, but you said nothing. You did not wish to speak. All you wanted to do was ignore the grief that had settled into your heart. To shove it down, and ignore it. But you couldn't. You and Halsin had become close after you and your rag-tag team of friends had saved the Emerald Grove from the goblins. He had given you advice on how to get to Moonrise Towers, and had offered his aid on the journey. Of course, you had said yes - initially because you knew you'd need all the help that you could get, but as time wore on, and you spent night after night talking with him, you couldn't deny the fact that it was starting to feel like something more was blooming between the pair of you - and Halsin refused to deny it either. Though nothing between you and the druid had been made official to the others, he had told you time and time again; 'When I have righted what has been wronged, and the Shadow curse lifted... Then, we can focus on one another, my heart.' You had thought about those words often - they had spurred you on when you had first entered the shadow cursed lands, knowing that this, this was the place where you could finally end Halsin's century of distress, and fretting.

And yet it had all gone wrong in an instant.

The silence had followed your group into camp, and settled itself amongst you all as if it were a friend, and not some unwanted and unwelcome state. Even Astarion had stopped his quipping and teasing upon seeing your dour expression. He had never seen you in such a state - not even when he had accidentally woken you when he had gone to feed on you one night, almost three months ago at this point. That night you had been mildly disgusted initially, but you were definitely willing to let him feed from you if it was going to help his prowess in battle. You had been optimistic, in truth, despite the dangers. That was something about you that was always apparent, and always had been. Though some of your travelling companions had thought you... Not all there, at first, you had managed to prove quite a few times that you were persistent enough to almost always pull through.

You had made a direct line for your tent, ignoring the attempts of Karlach to approach you, and hopefully comfort you a little bit. The fabric flaps drew together behind you as you retired to your one place of isolation. The tiefling was confused, and a mite hurt, at the fact that you had just completely blanked her. You had never done that before - the worst you had ever done was tell her to stay in camp for a while, and more often than not, you had good reason to do so. Her gaze fell upon Wyll and Shadowheart, two of the companions who had set off with you that morning, before she began to march over, determined to know who or what caused you to become so withdrawn. "What the hells happened out there?!" Karlach could hardly contain the irritation that bubbled in her chest, spilling into her voice. Wyll was the first to speak, his face a mask of self-reproach. "Halsin was trying to retrieve Thaniel - the spirit of these lands..." He began to explain, glancing briefly to Shadowheart, who's lips were fixed in a clear frown. "Right..." Karlach said slowly, "... I'm assuming something went wrong, by the look on everyone's faces..." "... We weren't able to defend the portal he had entered entirely... It collapsed, and... He's gone." Karlach's face fell as it all clicked into place in her mind. That's why you were acting so strange. "... Oh." Was all she could manage. She couldn't even muster up any rage at the circumstance, she was just stunned. She hadn't had a chance to get really close to Halsin, but he was a nice guy, there was no denying it. He had been courteous to all of them - a kind hearted soul, who always lent an ear to anyone who needed it. To Karlach, he had been a good laugh. Most evenings, on the short walk back to their tents, she and him would share a good few jokes with one another before retiring to rest. The loss of the druid would weigh heavily on her, though not as heavily as it would do you. Wyll cleared his throat, glancing towards your tent. "I think I may try and speak with them..." Shadowheart scoffed at this, causing Wyll's head to turn. "Good luck," Were the only words that the half-elf offered him, her voice dripping with sarcasm, before she turned away, marching herself right back to her tent to isolate herself for a while. Karlach followed suit, with nothing of meaning left to say. She meandered back to her own tent, seeking to settle herself down in the mountain of various pillows she had stored in there, to have a good cry.

Wyll did not return to his tent, however. Like he had said, he was going to try and talk with you. Try being the operative word. There had been a handful of times that you hadn't exactly been open to talking with anyone, and Wyll fully expected to be one of those times. He tried to peer through the tiny gap left between the flaps that marked the entrance to your tent, but to no avail. He cleared his throat quietly to announce his presence - but there was no answer from him. He carefully parted the fabric before him, crouching down a bit to get closer to you. Your tent was the smallest out of the whole group's, purely for the reason that, before the adventure began, you didn't have a lot to bring with you. Even now, with so much more to your name, you are more likely to leave some of your belongings with your fellow party members. "Go away." Your voice was low, not quite a threat, but close. "I don't want to talk to anyone, about anything. Leave me be." "You know," Wyll began to speak, completely ignoring your request, "I don't think Halsin would want you to spend any time moping after him..." You started to push yourself up into a seated position. Even in the dark, Wyll could imagine the look on your face; a deep set scowl, eyes narrowed and glaring daggers at the perpetrator who dared disturbed your 'peace'. In this case, of course, that was him. "You have no right to-" "Yes, I do." Wyll's voice was calm, despite your ire. "I'm your friend - one of your closest by your own admission, if I remember rightly..." He said as he crawled into the tent to join you - in the hopes of making you feel a little bit less alone. "I know you and Halsin were close..." Close wasn't exactly the word that the warlock had in mind, but he didn't want to rub salt in the wound. You had lost a man that you loved, and Wyll knew that grief wasn't an easy thing to deal with. "But, we did what we could - defended him and that portal as much as we were able to... He didn't ask for anything more..." "But he did - he asked us for his help to heal the-" "I know... But that was before we got overwhelmed by shadow-cursed harpers, and Gods know what else..." Wyll interrupted. "We did what we could, and he'd be happy with that... Even if we didn't manage to heal the curse..." His voice was tinged with a hint of sadness, despite trying to ease your pain. "He wouldn't want you to sit here, isolating yourself as punishment... But I understand you need time to mourn.. So, how about, tomorrow morning, you and I go for a walk around the outskirts of camp? We can talk all things Halsin.." You consider it for a moment, before nodding quietly. "Good.." Wyll smiled in response to your acceptance - there were times when you could be extraordinarily stubborn. He'd seen it himself at various points on your adventure together, and he was quite glad that he didn't have to be on the receiving end of it. "I'll bring your dinner to you, if you'd prefer not to join the rest of us..." You nod again, and Wyll begins to shuffle out of your tent, leaving you be for the evening.

You didn't join the others for food that evening - not that there was much to join. The group sat mostly in silence as they ate, all starting to feel the absence of their druidic friend. Lae'zel did try to make conversation, having found that her ideals didn't exactly align with Halsin's, she didn't get as close to him as some of the other had done in the same time. However, no one could find it in them to respond, besides Astarion, who snapped at her to stop talking for a moment. Even he was feeling down about the loss of Halsin - even if he had only grown 'fond' of the wood elf because he found him amusing. But the time night had fallen - or at least, what the group had all assumed to be night, as both night and day looked eerily the same under the shadowcurse - everyone had returned to their tents to rest.

The night - like so many before that you had all spent in the shadow-cursed lands - was cold, and very very quiet. The dead branches of various trees clashing against one another were the only sounds to be heard. No birdsong could be heard for miles. That was unless you counted the raspy sounds from the undead birds that sometimes came close to camp. They'd scurry away before they got too close, though. But there was something, off in the distance, that was slowly making it's way closer and closer to camp. Of course, no one was really aware of it until it was right on your doorstep. You had initially thought that the heavy footfall approaching your tent in the middle of your rest was Karlach - she'd often come over to you after a long, hard day. "Karlach," You spoke, your voice slightly muffled against the rough material of your makeshift pillow. "Now really isn't a good time.. Go back to your own tent." You expected to hear the footsteps retreating after this. Karlach was never one to try and encroach your personal space, especially after such a blunt request. However, this wasn't the case with this now unknown intruder. Something twigged in your mind that this might not be someone who meant well. Either that, or Karlach really wanted to have some company. You started to push yourself up onto your elbows, and when your eyes finally managed to focus on the figure slowly starting to crawl it's way into your tent, you could have sworn you heart stopped.

Halsin.

Immediately you were alert - were you still dreaming? No, you couldn't be, it didn't feel... Fuzzy enough, to be a dream. But it never feels like a dream when you're in the middle of it. You hurriedly push yourself into a more upright position, trying to kick the raggedy blankets off of your legs for more freedom of movement. "Halsin-" Your voice caught in your throat, leaving it as little more than a mousey squeak. Your chest felt tight, heavy. For a brief moment, there was a flicker of hope - he was alive! But as your eyes began to focus on the massive form of your once lover, you began to notice that some things were amiss. There were clusters and clumps of some dark mass, something not quite natural. Some of the clumps glowed and flickered with an eerie and dim bluish light, casting a foreboding shadow over your beloved's stoic - and entirely too-still - features. You recognised those growths - the telltale calling card of the shadows when they had wrenched their claws so deep into a living thing that nothing but a husk remained. You had seen it earlier that day; the hundreds of undead harpers, githyanki, dogs and birds that had assaulted you, your party, and the portal that had undone everything for you. The last stage before the host of the growths was devoured, and became nothing more than a shadow doomed to roam the desolated town, caught entirely in their own pain and grief. Though, the thought of that final form was pushed to the very back of your mind just at the moment it had popped in. Surely, though, if Halsin had managed to find your camp, there must be something of him left in there? As soon as the thought crosses your mind, you've moved to rest on your knees, bringing your face closer to his. "Halsin, you're alright..." There's something screaming at you in the back of your mind, telling you that this isn't right, that something is dreadfully, dreadfully wrong, but you elect to ignore it. For once, you just wanted to try and focus on the positive side. "You..." You couldn't quite place what it was about Halsin's voice that felt off to you - was it too deep? Too scratchy? Who cares, he's here, he's home. You didn't have to bear with that godsawful weight in your chest anymore, you could just move on, and think of this whole affair as nothing more than a blip on your adventure. You open your mouth to speak, but Halsin beats you to it. "Failed." His voice was so low it almost sounded like the chords in his throat were rupturing as the words left his lips - or perhaps they already had. It hits you like a stone to the head, and you freeze in place, paralysed by the realisation you should have had much earlier. This was not a dream, and Halsin was in front of you, but, he had been corrupted. Whatever drive he had to get back to you - whether it had originally been love, lust or something else - had now been twisted into something sick, something that longed to make you suffer as it was.

Before you could even open your mouth to respond, a thick hand was wrapping around your throat - squeezing, constricting, cutting off your air and your ability to cry out for help. Your hands dart to his wrist to try and alleviate some of the pressure, but you know that there's almost no point. With Halsin's great size, came great strength - you wouldn't be able to easily escape from this, he had the upper hand. You try anyway, clawing at his hand and forearm like a wild animal, trying to break skin and hurt him enough to have him flinch away from you. But that moment never comes. In fact, you could swear that he's applying more pressure to your throat. "Don't. Struggle." The grating voice of Halsin growls at you. You try to tell yourself that it's not him, but of course... the face looming above you would convince yourself otherwise. With the corners of your vision starting to blur and fade, you grow desperate. You begin to thrash and kick at him - and you manage to land a few good blows to the undead elf's ribs and stomach, not that it made much difference to the beast of a druid. You think at one point one of your feet dislodges a pole keeping your tent upright. At least, that seems to be the reasonable explanation for the structure collapsing on the both of you, obscuring your view even more. Your kicks start to weaken as Halsin applies even more pressure to your windpipe, obviously intent on robbing you entirely of your ability to breathe. You stop moving - in part to try and conserve what little oxygen you have left, but also because... What's the point in struggling against Halsin? Not only was he much stronger than you, but he was also... Right. You had failed him, despite the fact that you had tried your damndest to complete the task he had set you. Though it broke your hear to admit it to yourself, there was little you could do to deny it, even with the discussion you had had with Wyll earlier that night.

You had just about given in to the inevitable fate set before you, when the weight pressing down on your neck was just... Gone. You immediately sat up, spluttering as air finally reached your lungs, making you feel light-headed, but promising your survival. "Get the fuck away from them!" Karlach's roar was unmistakable as your scurried to pull the fabric of your tent off of your head to see what was going on; Karlach, greatsword in hand, was moving to swing at the corrupted Halsin - whilst Lae'zel, a determined look on her face, was mere moments away from doing the same, marching over from her own tent to join the fray. Gale was by your side in an instant, grabbing your hand and pulling you to your feet. "Come, quickly," He ushered you over to his tent as he spoke. "Inside, Shadowheart will check you over in a moment," His gaze turned back to Karlach, Lae'zel and Halsin for a moment, watching as the Tiefling and Githyanki lay blow after blow into the flesh of the thing that had tried to kill you. They were only just able to keep him on his knees, and it looked like his skin was shredding where he had been hit. His only sounds acknowledging that he was being attacked were grunts of effort as he tried to through off their hits and get back to his feet - which did not work. He wasn't even bleeding; a greenish-blue liquid dripped languidly from his newly-formed wounds.

"Stop looking, you don't need to see this." Gale told you firmly, taking your shoulder and guiding you more forcibly into the tent. "That's not him, anymore... You know that, yes?" He tries to soothe you. "That wasn't Halsin - just an... Echo of him, if that." Despite his kind words, tears begin to streak down your cheeks. You feel Gale's arms wrap around you, and your legs give out for a moment. You can't do this. It's too much. How is one person meant to handle all of this - the mindflayer tadpoles, the fate and wellbeing of their companions, helping as many people as they can on the way through the environs they must travel - and still walk tall? It is too much of a weight, a burden you can no longer carry. This overwhelming grief is just the straw that breaks the Rothe's back. You don't remember much of what happens after that - besides the sobs that start to wrack your body, making you heave with each breath. Gale lowers you to the floor, and you can vaguely hear him saying something to you, though you can't quite make out the words. You don't try to figure out what they are, though. You just want this to stop - for the emotions that feel too big for your body to just cease, and leave you in peace.

Your companions come and go throughout the night, each taking a turn to sit with you, to try and soothe your sorrows. Nothing really works. After many hours - though it feels like days to you - the tears finally stop falling. You're exhausted, and can't bring yourself to move off of Gale's bedroll; and no one dares to try anyway. It's Wyll who's with you as you finally drift off into an exhausted sleep. He doesn't move to tell the others, though, in case you should wake and need his company. A frown is etched into his features as he watches you - he knows all too well how much this grief can tear someone apart from the inside. He makes sure that you've got a blanket over your shoulders to keep you warm. "Don't you worry... You'll still have us," He whispers, not even caring if you can't hear him. "No matter what, we'll stick by you... And we'll get you through this. For Halsin's sake, not just for yours..."

The druid would have wanted that much for his lover, at least.