#i am trying though

[teddybeartoji]

baby go to sleep toji will give you a gmorning smooch -3-

.... technically... he could already give me the good morning smooch... considering how early it is 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

[coruscatingdust]

I really do not know how to engage with the world outside of myself. in the realm of my mind—the sacred world of ideas—i feel safe. i can explore my thoughts, organize them, critique them, question them, ask more questions and find more theories and get excited about this process of diving into a terrain of ideological possibilities, insights, and meaning.

the moment I step outside of my mind and interact with the world external to myself, I feel like a fish that has made the leap outside the sanctuary of her ocean. I’m completely out of my element and incapable of breathing. survival is not possible when the world does not have the oxygen that is suited for me. Every time I make a movement outside of myself, I transgress against myself by exposing my ideas to a world that sees them through their preconceived lenses.

Every encounter entails a risk: a risk of someone cutting the cords of my ideas, shooting rifles at the house I have built, by completely misunderstanding and twisting what I said. I think so much of what I say gets lost in translation—translating the contents of the intricacies of my mind the into the simplistic, monistic, and dualistic thought patterns prevailing in the world.

this is what I mean when I say the world does not have the oxygen suited for me. I can not survive in a world that demands me to choose sides, to conform, to stick to one narrative—a world that despises nuance and metaperspective. I am often attacked vehemently for sharing my ideas that try to see the underlying meaning and implications of things because my ideas do not fit into the preconceived notions of where our loyalties ought to lie (to a standard narrative). Many people, by employing the narratives given to them by the groups they identify with, easily see that what I am saying does not align with their narrative and therefore start to drill my ideas until my ideas are splattered all over the floor with ridicule.

and no, I would not call myself an “independent/free thinker” because that category and label too is used by a certain group of people endorsing a specific type of ideological movement and does not evade the problems of lacking in nuance. Besides, who truly is free in their thoughts, completely unsullied by the external world? By refusing to land on an ideological camp constructed by groups of people online, my ideas will never escape misunderstanding and derision.

But I will continue to ask myself: do I need to be understood? or do I need to understand? even those who cannot possibly understand what I am saying, so that rather than joining the war of defense and offense, I continue on in the journey of ideological exploration…of these two options I will gladly choose the latter.

[hotdyke-hardstyle]

and is the productive day in the room with us now?

[aimlesscomposer]

i feel like its okay to let the neurodivergent people on the neurodivergent website have fun and say silly things tbh?

like if a thing doesnt apply to you thats fair then it just doesnt?? apply?? to?? you??

not everything has to be a federal offense. not everything has to be a moral crusade.

sometimes people just want to say something goofy like "neurospicy" to make themselves feel better about their stuff or because they like the vibe and thats

okay.

if you don't like a thing, filter it. then you dont have to worry about it! because it just seems weird to get upset with neurodivergent people calling themselves a silly phrase they like because you dont.

its a lot like queer. its been reclaimed longer than ive been alive and im getting on up there. if you dont like using that word, thats okay. but getting upset and yelling at the people that do like it is kind of weird, and your energy and time would be much better spent doing literally anything else.

anyway, heres a raccoon

[lesbian-in-leather]

Also I don't think anyone reading my dovesso fic actually follows me on here but if you do!! I am sorry the latest chapter is so late I am working on it I swear

[justwriteyoudummy]

[cryoexorcist]

The more I think about it, the more I'm coming to want an au of Chongyun as a student in the Akademiya. He'd definitely study under the runes Darshan (I can't remember what that one is called), and probably travel a lot to study said runes too.

I haven't put too much thought into this yet, but I think having him enjoy being a student in an au vs him loathing it in mainverse would be a really interesting change of pace, I might have to think more on this and come up with an actual plot.

[kylerooz]

genderbent kyle

ok tumblr take my genderbent art and have a nice day

[rosenroteis]

Me, who has never played an MMO before, playing ESO: why are the gods so cruel

SO, who has hundreds of hours on ESO alone: You're in first person

Me:

Me: Third person sucks tho

[oni-dump]

I really want to be able to have fun with things for longer periods with high focus and not be struggling all the time..

But I can’t deny that things have felt a lot worse and much more difficult for me after this year battered me beyond recognition. lol

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[bacchuschucklefuck]

couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Trapped in a vicious cycle of pining? Try gay sex! (More things to learn over at Tiger Tiger!)

[goldenducks-zombieau]

talking with a character chat ai and

so im having fun i sent it btw

[triona-tribblescore]

I thoroughly enjoy the stage of huskerdust where they have yet to fully admit their feelings to each other uvu <3

P2

[pangur-and-grim]

Pangur is THRILLED that I have mono! her favourite thing in the world is napping with me