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kats-baku1999 · 3 years ago

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Hidden Secrets, Part Two.

wait I can’t believe you guys actually like part one (read that here) I was so insecure about posting it. I’m glad, I’m so glad. Everyone was asking for Bakugo’s suffering so here it is…

READ PART THREE HERE

warnings: I won’t even lie to you all, I have father problems, so this writing hit a little close to home. if in any way you think it’ll hurt or upset you, please don’t read any further okay? mentions of cheating and sex too. also there is some momo slander. I am so sorry.

It was as if the entire world stopped spinning for a second. Kirishima took a step in front of you and Haru, standing chest to chest with Bakugo. Bakugo glared at him, before looking at you. Every ounce of anger you felt towards him began bubbling up. There was so much you wanted to say. So much you wanted to scream at him. You couldn’t yet though, not in front of Haru.

“Kirishima, will you take Haru to your office? I know how excited he has been to see it since the renovation,” You forced a smile, and looked at your son who’s middle brow was creased, which was a for sure sign he was worrying about something, “It’s alright Ru, I will come meet you in there soon,”

“Yeah, come on little monster, I have a huge TV in there now!” Kirishima’s tone did not match the glare on his face, “The conference room is open you two,”

“Thank you Ei, have fun sweetheart,” Haru released himself from you, and let Kirishima take him. He perked his head back over Kirishima’s shoulder and gave you a small wave with his tiny little hand. You forced another smile and waved back, before turning around to face your ex boyfriend. His face was still frozen in shock, as he watched his old best friend walk off with the tiny little human.

“Please tell me what the fuck-”

“Go to the conference room, now.” You snapped and stomped away from him. Bakugo followed after, the boots of his hero costume echoing on the floor of the lobby. He clicked the door behind him as soon as he was in the same room as you.

“So did you just plan on never fucking telling me I had a kid?!” Bakugo yelled, his voice echoing. You turned around and glared at him, “When the fuck did you even find out you were pregnant?”

“Oh, I found out a few days before I found out you were cheating on me,” You laughed dryly, “I was going to tell you that night, but I got a little side tracked,”

“Bullshit absolute bullshit, you should have told me!” Bakugo yelled, not backing down, “Four fucking years! Four!”

“Cut the bullshit Bakugo, I came to your office two weeks before he was born, I ran into Momo and she said you would call me, that night I get a simple text that says you wanted nothing to do with him,” You yelled, jabbing a finger into his chest, “Then you just mysteriously move away with Momo, and no one hears from you, and now you are in Kirishima’s office demanding to know things?!”

“What the fuck are you talk about?! What text?!” Bakugo yelled, grabbing your hand and moving it away from him, “I just found out about the kid today! You still haven’t even confirmed that he was mine?!”

“Take one fucking look at him and tell me he isn’t yours, the only thing that even convinced me he might be from some magical conception is that he is so sensitive and caring!”

“(Y/N) what fucking messages? We haven’t talked since the night you left?” Bakugo’s voice lowered, “I promise you, if I would have known about him I would have, I would have-”

“What? Come back to me? Be with me?” Your voice was monotone and cold, he felt like he was talking to a stranger. A stranger that hates him.

“I mean, yeah maybe, or at least I would’ve been there for his first steps, words, breath, just anything,” Bakugo’s anger was subsiding for the first time in years, “Momo, that day, I know what you’re talking about, because she told me that her and I would never be happy as long as we were here,”

“Oh wow, so the person who you cheated on me with was also a liar, what a shock,” You scoffed, “Sorry, I’m sorry, I heard about her and Todoroki, and their affair,”

Bakugo paused for a second, shocked by your apology. Also by the fact that you even knew. It wasn’t public knowledge yet, considering it just happened two weeks ago. That was the one reason Kirishima was even acknowledging his presence again. He was the one who found them together, and despite his anger towards him, at one point Bakugo was his best friend. So he called him, told him to come to the bar he was at. When Bakugo got there, he found Momo practically on top of Todoroki. A poor, still oblivious, Todoroki who was convinced that Momo had left Bakugo. That she had called off their two year engagement.

“I didn’t realize Kirishima told you, still don’t know how he failed to mention my son-”

“Hey, don’t do that okay? Be mad at me for not trying harder, but don’t be mad at Kirishima, he knew if he would have said anything he wouldn’t have been able to see Haru anymore,” You sat down in one of the chairs, “To be honest, I had just planned on you never finding out,”

“That isn’t fair (Y/n), he is my son.” Bakugo’s tone of voice was frustrated and angry. He didn’t want to be mad at you, he knew he couldn’t be mad at you.

“No, he is my son, mine, I’ve done everything, I was there for all of the bruises and scratches, for when he got into my hair gel to try and make himself look like Kirishima, for his birthdays and Christmases, you weren’t there,” You snapped, “Sharing his genetics does not make him your son,”

“No but you don’t get to hold this shit against me, it wasn’t my fault,” Bakugo fired back.

“You’re the one who fucked her,” You sneered. Standing up again, running your hand through your hair, “You cheated on me with her, you chose her over me, you don’t get to be the victim here either, I don’t even get to be the victim, the only person who deserves to even act like the victim is my son,”

“I’m here now, I know now, and I want nothing more but than to get to know him,” Bakugo looked at you with pleading eyes, “To be apart of his life, of your life,”

“I don’t know, I can’t just tell him that you’re his dad, he has been asking for the past year, and he has so much more going on already,” You laughed, “He doesn’t have his quirk yet, it’s becoming evident that he might not ever have his quirk, so how do I tell him that his dad is the number one hero, and a person he idolizes?”

“So you’ve faulted me because my ex fiancé was a psychopath who didn’t think I needed to know about my son, and now because I’m the number one hero- wait, he doesn’t have his quirk?”

“No, no he doesn’t, that’s why we are in town, for Denki and Hitoshi’s wedding, and to see a doctor,” You explained, the tears finally spilling over, “I can’t just dump this on him too Bakugo, please, you have to understand,”

“I do, okay I do, but please I can’t just let you walk away today with him and not do anything, I have to know him, but I don’t want to make this a problem bigger than it needs to be,” Bakugo grabbed your shoulders, “Please don’t make me villain here, okay I don’t want to be,”

“As much as I want to, I can’t, I know I can’t it wouldn’t be fair to him,” You grabbed his hands off your shoulders and held them for a second, a small sob threatening to escape your throat, “But please don’t take him from me, he’s all I have,”

Bakugo stopped and tightened his grip on your hands. Forcing you to look up at him. His eyebrows were creased, furrowed up exactly like Haru’s always did. The same look of concern Haru’s always had on his face when you said something close to sad.

“I wouldn’t think about taking him away, so get that shitty ass thought out of your head right now,” Bakugo sighed, “He doesn’t even have to know I’m his father right now, not until your ready, but I would like to be your friend, your friend that comes around him, your friend that he gets to know like he knows Kirishima,”

“Okay, okay,” You mumbled, nodding your head, “You can pick us up and take us to his doctor’s appointment, then we can all go out with Kirishima after so he feels more comfortable, we can start there,”

“Okay, let’s start there,” Bakugo let go of your hands slowly, “Does he you know like anything?”

“Yes, Bakugo he likes things, heroes specifically, are you going to blow up this office if I say Deku is his favorite?” You wiped the tears off your face, and finally bust out laughing at Bakugo’s groan that followed, “I’m going to grab Haru, I’ll have Kirishima send you my number okay?”

“Okay, thank you, let me know about the doctors thing.”

You gave him a small nod and walked out of the room. Stopping the bathroom to rinse off the tears. When you opened up the door to Kirishima’s office, you found Haru staring at the large tv completely awe struck by the footage of Midoriya fighting alongside Bakugo. One of their earlier fights, they were just barely pros. You remembered it because that was when he and Shinso agreed to work together. That was the fight that introduced you to him.

— a few days later

“Momma, you’re doing your upset walk,” Haru whispered, as if he was telling some kind of secret. Shinso snorted into his coffee, and earned him self a dirty look from you.

“Your mother is just nervous over seeing her friend small human,” Shinso called you out, and earned another dirty look.

“Momma is friends with Dynamight, Uncle Toshi! She has even met Deku!” Haru’s eyes were sparkling as he said it, waving around his Deku plushie.

“You know, I’ve worked with Deku before, almost beat him-”

“In the sports festival, yes Uncle Toshi we knowwww,” Haru groaned, having heard the story at least fifty time. It was your turn to laugh. Haru loved Shinso, but when it came to his favorite heroes, being ranked under his own fiancé was a bit of a sting.. So poor Shinso tries to impress the kid every chance he can.

“You’ve told him the story at least ten times,” You backed up your son, shrugging your shoulders.

“You know, I was in the room when you came into this world little man, I deserve some props as a hero,” Shinso groaned, and Haru just laughed, taking another bite of his cereal.

“I know, but you’re a hero like you know a dad would be,” Haru said casually and both of you froze. He was trying so desperately to figure out what it meant to have a Dad. The last time Kirishima came to visit, he had even asked him if he was his dad because of their red eyes, and how Kirishima is always there for his big moments. Then he asked you if Shinso was his dad, because they both liked cats.

“Haru, our ride is here, we better go outside okay?” You smiled, changing the subject, “Give Toshi a hug!”

Haru jumped down and gave Shinso a quick hug. You grabbed your things, and your files about Haru’s past doctor’s appointments. After he grabbed his backpack you walked over and kissed Shinso’s cheeks, mouthing a quick apology. He waved you off.

“Let me know how it goes,” He smiled, and you knew he wasn’t just talking about the doctors appointment.

You picked up Haru and carried him outside. Bakugo waved at you both, and Haru hid his face again. Although he was excited to get to meet one of his heroes, he was also terrified. Bakugo pouted a little bit, and you gave him a small glare. He straightened up and forced a smile.

“I just need to grab his seat!” You forced a smile, trying to avoid how awkward this was. Bakugo shook his head.

“Nope, I bought one, it’s got all the things,” Bakugo sounded proud of himself, you raised an eyebrow but walked towards his car. He opened the door and you saw a seat, one of the ones with a cup holder, and in it was a collectible Deku doll that Haru had wanted for months. Along with a signed picture of him.

“Haru, look,” You whispered, making sure to tell Bakugo later that he can’t just buy his love. Haru’s face lit up though, and he quickly jumped down out of your arms. He grabbed the doll and picture, looking at you with wide eyes.

“Thank you Mr. Dynamight sir!” Haru grinned, before climbing in his seat so you could buckle him in. Bakugo stood behind you, and you could practically feel the grin radiating off of him.

“Call me Katsuki kid, all of my friends do,” Bakugo smiled, and got in the drivers seat. You walked over to the other side, and climbed into the passenger seat.

The ride was quiet, just the sounds of Haru playing with his new toy in the background. Neither you or Bakugo knew what to say to one another. So you just sat in comfortable silence, looking through Haru’s main doctor’s notes. Then Haru needed to blow his nose, and out of habit you opened up the glove box to grab a tissue as if you were in your own car. Inside it though you found Bakugo’s necklace that had matched yours, that you gave back to him when you left. You grabbed a tissue and handed it back to Haru.

“Yours is hanging up on the rearview mirror of my other car,” Bakugo mumbled, his eyes not leaving the road. You studied the side of his face, just nodding in response. It was odd that after all of this time he still had that dumb thing. You two had gotten them on your fourth time of hanging out, he had found them at a festival he made some appearance at. They were cheap, but you both wore them all of the time. The necklaces meant something to both of you, the day you took yours off was the day you knew it was over.

The rest of the ride felt tense. You felt silly over thinking the necklace. You figured he would have thrown them away at this point. When you finally got to the hospital, Bakugo went and found a parking spot. He went to walk in with you two but you shook your head.

“I’m not ready for the rumors to start surrounding Haru, so would you mind just hanging out here?” You whispered.

“Oh, yeah no you’re right, I’ll be here,” Bakugo nodded his head, looking a little disappointed. You climbed out of the car and grabbed Haru, who waved a tiny hand at Bakugo as the two of you walked towards the entrance.

You weren’t in the waiting room for long till you were called into the exam room. They did a few X-rays, and tests, on Haru. Then after about an hour you were sitting in the Doctor’s office as Haru played with his toys on the floor. The doctor say down across from you and showed you all of the test results.

“Well the good news is, Haru will most definitely have a quirk, his body is already adjusted to what his quirk would be,” The doctor smiled, “I’m guessing his father’s quirk has something to do with nitroglycerin?”

“Uh well we don’t actually know much about his father,” You lied, knowing Haru was paying attention now.

“Well Haru has high levels of it in his sweat glands according to the tests, but my only concern is that I think he has some kind of mental block keeping him from using his quirk,” The doctor explained, “You’re quirkless correct?”

“Uh yes sir, I am,” You nodded your head. Haru walked over to you and grabbed your hand. So you put him in your lap.

“Maybe he just won’t use his quirk because he doesn’t want to be different from you, since you are his sole provider,”

“No that’s not it,” Haru interrupted and you both looked at him, “It’s not Mommy’s fault, I just want to use my quirk when Dad comes back for us,”

You felt your heart break into a million pieces.

“Haru sweetie, have you known about your quirk?” You whispered, and he nodded his head sadly.

“I accidentally blew up Mira’s doll at the playground, but made her promise to not tell her parents so you wouldn’t know,” Haru hung his head, and avoided eye contact. Like he did whenever he thought he was going to be in trouble.

“Haru you could’ve told me, then we wouldn’t have had to do all these tests, why didn’t you-”

“I just wanted dad to be the one to help me,” Haru cut you off again, his eyes watering. You let out a sigh and pulled him closer to you. The doctor nodded his head, smiling softly at you.

The two of you walked out to the car again. Bakugo’s head perked up at the sight of you both. He jumped out of the car and opened the door for you to put Haru in. Bakugo raised an eyebrow at the sad look on his face, and then looked at you.

“Tell me he has his quirk? Or at least a hope of one?” Bakugo asked, and you closed Haru’s door. Glaring at Bakugo, before walking over to your door. You climbed in the car and didn’t say a word until you got the park where Kirishima was meeting you guys.

“Hey, Haru why don’t you go with Uncle Ei and play while I talk to Katsuki?” You smiled at Haru, who climbed out of his seat and went to Kirishima who had opened the door for him. Kirishima closed the door and walked away with Haru. Bakugo looked towards you with a raised eyebrow.

“Why did you do it?” You whispered and Bakugo just looked even more confused, “Why did you fuck all of this up?”

“What do you mean?” Bakugo’s tone was proof enough that he was annoyed. Not necessarily at you, but more so at the fact he could see Kirishima playing with his son so effortlessly.

“Cheat on me, leave me alone to raise him, leave him confused and upset because all he wanted was his dad,” Your eyes started water, tears threatening to spill over. Bakugo turned his head back towards you, your words stinging a little bit.

“I didn’t leave you alone, I didn’t know.” His voice was stern, “You can’t make me out to be the dead beat father in this situation (Y/n) I would have been there for him if I would have known he was alive,”

You let out a sigh of defeat, making eye contact with him. Bakugo felt his heart break at the look in your eyes. You looked.. Defeated.

“I know, I know it’s my fault okay?” You whispered, “I should have never kept him from you, I should have told you I was pregnant but I was selfish, and hurt, and-”

You were sobbing now. Your words falling off. Bakugo unbuckled your seat belt, and pulled you over the center console so you were sitting on him. He hugged you, tightly. Letting you let out every single sob, as he rubbed your back. You cling onto his shirt as you buried your face in his shoulder.

“I know why you were mad, and I don’t blame you but (Y/n), I would have been there for you both if I would have know,” He whispered against you, you pulled your head back and looked at him.

“I know, and I’m sorry, I still hate what you did to me, to our relationship, but Haru deserves to know his father,” You sighed, Bakugo reached up and wiped some of the stray make up on your face.

“So we’ll tell him?” He smiled hopefully, and you nodded.

“Eventually, eventually we will tell him, but for now I just want you to get to know him, ease him into it,” His smile faded a little but he knew you were right.

Bakugo stared at you and it settled in for him that it was never Momo. It was never once her for him, it was you. Back then, he was too scared to let himself admit it. Despite how long you two had been together when his affair with Momo started, he was scared. Scared of how much he could love a single person. Then he felt guilty because he had no reason to have that fear. He grew up watching his parents have that kind of love. It was his own selfish mindset that pushed him to that decision.. That pushed him to losing you.

You crawled back into your seat, flipping the visor down. Bakugo watched as you wiped the make up off your face. You turned back to look at him, smiling a little.

"I have a proposition for you, if you want to spend more time with him?" Your voice sounded a little nervous, and Bakugo grinned a little nodding his head, "Go to the wedding with us to the wedding? I mean you and Denki were friends right?"

"Are you sure? I mean I know how all of them must feel about me?" Bakugo laughed a little, and you shook your head looking back at Haru and Kirishima.

"They all love Ru, so much, so I think they will understand why I want you there, and besides Hitoshi does nothing but tell me to get back in the dating game," You rolled your eyes, and Bakugo laughed at you a little bit.

"How long has it been since you've been on a date if Dead Eyes is making jokes about it?" Bakugo was half teasing, and half curious what the answer was.

"Oh don't you start asshole, I have been raising our kid," You laughed, a genuine laugh. A laugh that made Bakugo's heart do some kind of internal flip. He smiled softly at you.

"You said our kid," He whispered, and you blushed a little.

"Our kid who is staring in here trying to figure out what's wrong," You laughed, pointing towards Haru who now had an adorable pout on his face. You climbed out of the car and ran towards him, picking him up and spinning him all crazy like. Bakugo smiled as he watched you two together. Realizing that all he ever wanted in life was right here, and in his reach again.

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tagging all of the people who replied to hidden secrets part one <3

there is going to be a part three, and i promise for everyone who asked for bakugo suffering.. it is coming because i am feeling evil >:]

@girl-who-likes-cold-bois , @leximoron , @shyonigirichan , @tspice283 , @heyomie , @beigeunburdened , @xoxo-teddybear , @silentw-lkr , @semhal , @justmewoo , @jazzylove , @nolimitsam , @da1chisjuicywatermelons , @ayoooooooooooo

#bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo fic #katsuki x reader #reader insert mha #bakugo angst

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aminiatureworld · 4 years ago

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Affection II

Characters: Childe, Ganyu, Kaeya, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,577

Warnings: None

Premise: Sometime we know something is impossible from the start. But still we walk towards it, even if we know it will hurt us. It’s only flirting, only a smile or a hug or some food. Even if nothing comes of it, there is nothing to regret. Even if it hurts.

In which the reader gives affection, expecting nothing in return.

Author’s Note: Evidently I’ve really missed writing these properly. I had such a great time writing, and I hope you guys enjoy these just as much as I did.

Also I’ve decided the version on Ao3 will now always be without bullet points, so if you prefer that format the link will be in the reblog.

Childe

You’d been floored by Childe pretty much since the day you two had met.

What had turned into the two of you meeting had started out a most unfavorable encounter. You’d gone to Lingju Pass, trying to survey some of the carvings of the old structure, and attempting to see the sort of methods used to construct such vast rocky complexes at the time. Unfortunately this goal had quickly turned into a goal of “don’t get caught”, as you’d found the Pass crawling with Fatui members. Though you weren’t nearly helpless, you’d also not come prepared for battle; and had spent most of the “fight” dodging around various blows while trying not to drop the expensive equipment that you’d borrowed from other Guild members.

Just as you’d come to the conclusion that the options were either drop everything and run or get thoroughly injured by a bunch of arrogant Snezhnayan soldiers there was a change in the air. The Fatui soldiers’ expression turned from one of glee to one of confusion, and then one of panic, as one by one a streak of blue began to throw them this way and that. As you regained focus of the terrain your realized that it wasn’t a streak at all but a person, a person who was wildly adept at sword play. Eventually the number of unconscious people had risen to five, and there was no one left but him and you.

“Need any help?”

The words might’ve been kind, had it not been for the smirk on the man’s face. Though you felt that the right answers would’ve probably been to scowl, you found you couldn’t, too wrapped up in the memory of this mysterious person darting this way and that, handling his water-made daggers with the grace of a ballet dancer.

“I’m Childe.” These words finally brought you back to the present.

“You’re a member of the Fatui.”

“I am.”

“Then why did you knock those guys out just now?”

“Boredom.”

You stared at Childe incredulously. Of course you’d heard his name, the man who, it was whispered, almost pulled Liyue into the sea. You’d formed a sort of mental picture of him completely divorced from the redhead now standing in front of you, bouncing slightly on his feet as he smiled cockily. He looked more like a rogue adventurer than one of the heads of a crime syndicate. Maybe that was why you found yourself infatuated, rather than afraid.

This infatuation only grew, fed by the encounters that you had with Childe. It seemed now you couldn’t avoid him, not that you wanted to. What had begun as a chance encounter multiplied into two, into four; soon enough you two had struck up a sort of friendship, one that baffled everyone else around you.

Of course you hadn’t lost all your sense, knowing quite well that the puppy love you were feeling could never be anything more. The way Childe talked about his work, about his duty to the Tsaritsa, made it very clear that he wouldn’t let a partner in his life or in his loyalties. And even if he changed his mind, why would he choose you? You were an adventurer sure, but you hadn’t even been able to properly defend yourself the first time the two of you met, and your oversight of that would’ve surely turned Childe away. Besides, Childe could probably make a partner out of anyone he wanted, if they were foolish enough. Why should that person be you?

Perhaps it was that knowledge that allowed you to be so free in your affection, spurred on by Childe’s own open nature. Hand holding, hugging, leaning one’s head on the other’s shoulder, it was the language of friendship that you two had adopted, and something that you greatly appreciated. There was something nice about a friendship in which one could be so open about caring about someone, without expecting things to go farther. Because you didn’t, you really didn’t. And though that might’ve been a bit painful, it was a small price to pay for Childe’s company.

“I’m going off to Mondstadt for a bit.”

“What?”

You drew away from Childe a bit to look into his face. The two of you were walking along the path towards Yaoguang Shoal, as Childe had taken a particular liking to the Starconches that lined its shores. Now he smiled awkwardly, squeezing your hand and shrugging his shoulders.

“I know, I know. There’s apparently this branch of the Fatui holed up there right now, and I’ve been asked to consult about something, though archons know what it is.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“I’m not sure, I think about two weeks? I’m not sure what exactly is going on, but the troops really must be in disarray if they need me skulking around for the next two weeks.” He let out a awkward laugh.

“I’ll miss you.” You replied, bumping your head into his shoulder and frowning. “It’s very boring without you.”

“I’m sure you’ll be perfectly capable without me.” Childe smiled, one eyebrow raised slightly. “After all, what would you do if I left someday, permanently. You’d have to find a way without me.”

“Let’s not talk about that.” You replied hurriedly, switching the conversation towards something more pleasant. Unfortunately however the words had already been said, and the damage had already been done.

It had been two weeks since Childe had left for Mondstadt, and though normally you might’ve been waiting at the city gates for his return, you found yourself on the familiar road towards Lingju. Childe’s words had been ringing in your ears for the past two weeks, and you’d found the more time passed the more you kept thinking about them.

What would you do if I left someday, permanently. Is that what Childe truly wanted? To leave? The idea made your stomach hurt, as you began once more to run all your interactions through your head, as if trying to find a flaw in the strips of memory you had of Childe. Was that what Childe truly wanted, or was it simply that he was sick of you? When he’d said “you’d have to find a way without me” did that mean he wanted to find a way without you? Perhaps you’d been too forward, too demanding. Perhaps he’d managed to realize your feelings and felt repelled by them. Had it been too much, meeting him almost everyday for some periods of time, eating lunch together and sometimes dinner. What about that time you’d invited him over to your house to play a game? Had that been too much?

You sighed, dragging yourself over the final ridge. Sitting down to take a rest you closed you eyes. You hated that your mind wandered this way, that no matter what you couldn’t help but ask yourself again and again, what had you done. What would Childe think about this sad person laying on the ground, the sad part was you couldn’t answer that question.

The sound of footsteps brought you back to the present, and you let out a suppressed groan at the figures in your line of sight.

“Don’t you guys ever get posted anywhere else?” You rolled your eyes, reaching behind your back to summon your polearm.

“You’re trespassing.” The voice that came out of the Electro Vanguard was so deep and distorted as to be hilarious.

“Lastly I checked you were neither a citizen of Liyue, nor Rex Lapis, so if anyone’s “trespassing” on public territory it’s you.” You sighed. “Oh well. Unfortunately you caught me on a day where I’m somewhat prepared.” With that you lunged towards the Hydro Legionnaire and the fight began.

Fighting when one is already frustrated is both a blessing and a curse. The fight itself was almost invigorating, the first Fatui hit the ground and with it you felt part of your worries fade away, if only for the small window of time which this fight offered. Was this why Childe fought so much? The though crossed your mind as you whirled behind the Pyro Bracer and pressed as much Electro as you dared into the back of his head, tripping him with the staff of your polearm on his way down.

Soon enough there was only you and the Electro Vanguard left. Unfortunately you were beginning to feel the other side affect of anger, that being misfocus. Being more versed in using your polearm as a sort of lightning rod your found the Vanguard much harder to deal with, more than once barely diving out of the way of the hammer he was swinging around, surprisingly light on his feet considering what the weight must be. Your anger was quickly draining, turning into something more akin to panic, and as you found yourself stumbling more and more you realized that today was really, really not your day.

The Vanguard was becoming aware of how fast you were tiring, a gravelly sort of laugh emerging from behind his mask. As you found your with you back to the slope you wondered if it was just worth it to make an escape. The Fatui swung his hammer once more, barreling towards you. Having nothing left to do you put your polearm out in front of you, hoping that your arms were strong enough not to recoil against the inevitable blow. Closing your eyes you thought of nothing, drowning in a sea of panic. If there was any coherent part of your brain it wished that you weren’t here, that you just stayed home, or swallowed you pride and gone to the gate. But it was too late now, and you were about to get hit.

However the blow never landed, instead a loud sound pierced the air. Whipping your arms open you saw the Electro Vanguard stumble, his hammer having been dropped on the ground. He was grasping towards his ankle, in which was stuck an arrow, glowing a faint aquamarine. Swearing the Fatui member glanced around, before stumbling away, dragging his weapon and his left leg behind him like dead weight.

“Some things never change, huh?”

“Childe!” You whirled towards your once again savior, face burning from embarrassment. “I took out the rest of them this time.”

“I can see that,” said Childe, surveying the area, a telltale smirk on his face, “very impressive. Although, if I may suggest, next time try to take out the Electro Vanguard first, especially since you don’t wield a weapon made for pure damage.”

“Is this turning into a teaching moment?”

“Absolutely not.” Childe laughed.

You found the sound catching, and soon a smile spread across your face as you let your polearm disappear once more. You ran up to Childe, and were about to throw you arms around his neck in a characteristic hug, when the thoughts of before came ramming back into your brain. Taking a step back you planted your arms firmly in front of you, hoping that maybe Childe hadn’t noticed what you’d been about to do.

However Childe approached you instead.

“You weren’t at the gate today.” He said coyly, lips drifting somewhere between a smirk and a frown.

“I’m sorry.” You lowered your head. “I just thought, well maybe that would be better. Since you said you might be leaving permanently and all, and since you were right when you said I’d have to figure things out without you, I don’t know, I thought maybe it’d be for the best.”

Looking up the expression on Childe’s face could only be described as one of complete disbelief. For a moment he stayed frozen in place.

“What in Teyvat do you mean I’m leaving permanently?”

“You said that! Remember… when we were going to pick sea shells you said that you were leaving.” You stepped back, cheeks flushed. “Or maybe you were just sort of sick of me or something.”

“Why would you ever think that?” Childe walked up to you, enveloping one of the hands at your side in his own and bringing it up towards him.

“I… I don’t know,” you replied, feeling very confused and very foolish, “I thought maybe that I was being too affectionate, or too clingy. I mean I know you don’t like me or anything like that. And I thought maybe that I was crossing the boundaries of our friendship.”

“I don’t like you? I’ve liked you since almost the first day we’ve met!”

“Not like that! I mean, like like, you know? As in… well, as in I… I love you.” You let your voice peter out.

“I love you too!” Childe let out. Shaking his head he smiled widely. “That’s what I’m trying to say. I’ve liked you since almost the first time we’ve met. I wasn’t trying to shoo you away.”

“What?” Your brain was short circuiting. Something had gone terribly wrong. You’d definitely been knocked out at some point, and was now hallucinating. There was no way Childe liked you, loved you. He could love anyone, why would he love you.

Childe stepped closer, moving so that your foreheads were almost pressed together.

“May I?” He whispered, voice almost shy. You nodded, a just as small “yes” escaping your lips before Childe cut off your ability to say anything more. It was a short kiss, sweet and chaste, and yet you felt everything around you suddenly come into sharp, almost lucid clarity. You weren’t dreaming. This was happening. This was Childe and he liked you. Childe like you. He liked you, he really liked you.

“Why?” You let out, when the two of you separated. Thankfully Childe remained close to you, being without his presence now would’ve been quite lonely.

“Why what?”

“Why me? I’m not, I don’t know, I can’t even knock out an Electro Vanguard without help.”

Childe let out a laugh, lovely as music.

“I don’t know,” he replied, eyes sparkling, “because you’re you. And I like you.”

And all of a sudden you found that that was enough.

Ganyu

The days that you accompanied Ganyu on her various errands were the ones in which you were most aware that you were on a level utterly below her.

Of course humans could never really measure up to adepti, after all they made the world and humans simply lived in it. Still in terms of humans, well you weren’t exactly pushing exceptional. If Ganyu represented all that was exceptional about the adepti, well then you represented the average human who didn’t like their job and overall went about their day as unnoticeable as an ant on the road.

Of course Ganyu never acted in a way that would betray the imbalance between the two of you. Indeed Ganyu was nothing if not kind, sweet, and utterly without a semblance of hierarchy. It was one of the things that you adored about her, the straightforward honesty she carried with her, and the way that she appeared not to judge living beings on a scale, even if that was the right of those who were higher and didn’t have to worry about said scale.

“Can you carry this for me?” Ganyu’s voice was soft and somewhat hesitant. You smiled widely, knowing that Ganyu simply had difficulty asking other people for help.

“Of course I can!” Scooping up the package that was stretched out towards you, you saw Ganyu let out a short sigh of relief.

“Thank you.”

“Of course! I’m always happy to help you. Where are we taking this?”

“Over to the funeral parlor. It seems that there are some tiles in here that are being used for a specific ritual. Hu Tao said that the family wanted it, I hope she doesn’t actually mean she pushed them towards it.” Ganyu let out a soft sigh. “She once suggested advertising for cremation. Somehow I feel that won’t exactly be welcomed by the people.”

“No one likes to be reminded of their own mortality. Ah, but Hu Tao is doing her best, and if these tiles end up being insulators, I suppose we can’t do much about it. I’ll make sure not to drop them anyways. Getting on Hu Tao’s bad side feels like asking for a prank.”

“You’re probably right.” Ganyu chuckled.

You blushed slightly, loving the way her laugh sounded, soft and open. You knew Ganyu struggled sometimes; she admitted to you herself that it was very difficult to live an existence defined by liminality. Was she an adeptus? Was she a human? She was neither, and yet both would claim her and call her other. In understanding this Ganyu had retreated into herself. Perhaps that’s why her laugh meant so much.

As you strolled down the docks an angry voice cut through the air.

“Qixing!”

Both of you turning around you saw Bolai, heaving slightly, teetering his way towards you. His face was stormy, and for a moment you wondered if someone had stolen something. His words when he caught up however revealed a very different motivation.

“I demand justice!”

“What for?” Ganyu asked, voice deadly serious once more.

“What for? For what Huixin said in regards to me! For the Liyue Qixing complying with disgusting rumors as to the ways in which I conduct my business and my finances. As to the way that you promised to help me then turned on me!”

“I see…” Ganyu sighed as you wracked your brain, trying to remember what she’d told you about the time that she and the traveler ran around trying to detangle various examples of tax fraud. “Have you considered putting up a formal complaint?” Ganyu meanwhile was still trying to keep professional, something that you admired her for.

“How am I supposed to trust the Qixing after what happened? No! I demand compensation now!”

“Sir, I’m sure you’re quite upset, but there’s no need to act in such a way. If you wish to clear your name, then we can meet in private and review the testimony and documents we received. If not, then I’m afraid there is nothing I can do for you. I’m very sorry.”

Ganyu turned back towards the direction in which you two had been previously walking. Evidently too agitated to think properly Bolai let out a strangled cry.

“We’re not finished yet!” Reaching out, he seemed to be attempting to turn Ganyu around by the shoulder. Having been standing there unthinking you now moved to block the action, knowing that Bolai didn’t really mean anything by it, but not trusting the man who looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel. Bolai’s hand instead smacked into the box in your hands, which slipped from your grip and fell to the floor in a great crash.

Time seemed to slow down somewhat after this, as Bolai stepped backwards and Ganyu turned around, face one of evident horror at the scene. You felt your face begin to burn as you looked at the unassuming box, which now looked a little bit the worse for wear.

“What…” Ganyu trailed off. Bolai waved his hands about in a panicked sort of way.

“That wasn’t me! That wasn’t my fault! It was this person they… I don’t know what they were thinking, getting in the way like that. How idiotic! This is nothing but a mess, a disgrace!”

Normally you wouldn’t pay Bolai’s words any mind, but now they seemed to pierce right through, as you realized all the trouble you’d just caused Ganyu. Glancing over towards her you found you could neither look her in the eyes nor stay where you were.

“I-I’m sorry!” You stammered. Moving to pick up the box you found your hand hesitating. Fearing that you’d just make things worse you pulled yourself and dashed in the opposite direction, speeding up the docks and towards the outskirts of the city.

Normally the view from Mount Tianheng was one that stole your breath away. Today however the mountain seemed completely uninteresting, especially when compared to the thoughts racing in your head.

How had you gotten here, how had you messed up so much? Ganyu didn’t need your posturing, your attempt to help. She was an adeptus for Morax’s sake! And who were you? Someone who couldn’t even carry a box from Point A to Point B. And now you’d just caused more trouble for Ganyu, when she already had so much to do.

“I’m such a failure.” You groaned into your palms.

“You aren’t!” You lifted your head at the soft exclamation, already knowing who the voice belonged to. Ganyu sidled up to the ledge of the mountain silently, fidgeting with her hands. “May I sit next to you?”

“Of course.” You replied, grateful that Ganyu was even talking to you. Smiling softly the Qixing Emissary let out a soft sigh.

“I love the view of the city from here.” She spoke softly, eyes on the horizon.

“I do too.”

“There’s something so lovely about watching everyone go about their day, isn’t there? To see the people work in harmony to bring prosperity and peace to the city of Liyue. To see how everyone continues on the legacy of Rex Lapis.”

“That’s a lot to see.” You joked, still feeling a little uncomfortable, as if Ganyu might in a minute get up and leave.

“But can’t you see it?” Ganyu’s voice was earnest and her eyes shined. “It’s wonderful how people do it, how they continue to make this city thrive, to keep the contracts of Morax alive and within living memory.”

“Perhaps it’s just harder for humans to judge it themselves?”

“Perhaps.” Ganyu’s expression shifted into something, almost shy, not quite melancholic. “Just like how you’re finding it difficult to forgive yourself.”

“I’m so sorry Ganyu. I don’t know what I was thinking! I just… I just, wasn’t thinking.”

“You were trying to be kind.” Ganyu replied, something almost akin to blush coating her cheeks. “And I have to thank you for that.”

“But I just caused more trouble…”

“You were trying to be kind,” Ganyu repeated, “like I said, you’re finding it difficult to forgive yourself. But you have to. You didn’t truly do anything that needs forgiveness.”

“But I was doing it for completely selfish reasons!” You blurted out, embarrassment and doubt turning into the words you never wanted to utter. “It’s because I like you, and not just because I was trying to be nice. But because, because maybe I wanted to do something for you, and then maybe I’d be good enough maybe.” Realizing how odd that just sounded you turned your head away. For a moment your words hung in the air, and the longer the silence continued the longer you thought about how utterly selfish you were.

“Thank you.” There was a smile in Ganyu’s voice, and as you turned your head once more you could see it plastered across her face.

“For what?”

“For telling me you like me.”

“But… but isn’t it just burdening you? After all I’m not good enough for you.”

“You are!” Ganyu’s voice was firm. “You’re absolutely good enough for me. And what you did, you call it selfishness, but I don’t understand that. Being kind to people you like isn’t selfish, even if you like them. Because this time you were genuinely helping me. Besides, if that’s selfish then I’ve also been terribly selfish.”

“How?”

“By asking you to accompany me everywhere. Because maybe, maybe I like you too.”

For a moment you wondered if you hadn’t accidentally slipped off the cliff, so weightless did you feel. A bit lightheaded you leaned forward.

“Really?”

“Yes.” Ganyu smiled nervously. Reaching out she took your hand in hers.

The two of you watched the sun set over the city of contracts mostly in silence. Every once in a while there would be a spurt of conversation, but mostly there was nothing but the sounds of the birds and the cicadas, and the pounding of two hearts, hearts both a bit ragged from the events of the day.

For what a day it had been. And how wonderfully it had ended.

Kaeya

If you could use anything as justification for your crush on Kaeya, he did flirt with you. Unfortunately he also flirted with everyone else in Mondstadt.

“How’s my favorite knight of Favonius?” Kaeya’s cocky voice was clear as a bell, and for a moment your heart flipped as the handsome knight came into view, smile as lovely as it had been the day before.

“Blessed by the presence of our beloved cavalry captain.” You replied in a singsong voice.

The first time Kaeya had used that line on you it felt like your soul had left your body and your heart had run a marathon. Unfortunately you’d heard him use practically the same line on Rosaria the next day, his favorite mysterious nun, robbing you of your fantasy in which Kaeya had any interest for you.

Your banter however was not without genuine feeling. You were utterly infatuated with Kaeya, having fallen for the handsome knight about two weeks into your own training. Originally having been an adventurer you’d joined the knights relatively recently after a series of Abyss attacks on the City of Freedom. As such Kaeya had by then already occupied an exalted position among the ranks, and the hours of being trained, teased, and flirted at by the mysterious cavalry captain had been enough to throw you head over heels.

Not that you’d ever expect things to develop more than they already had. Having a crush on the flirtiest man in Mondstadt did mean that you were praised every once in a while, but it also meant that the praise meant little more than empty words, and that there was always someone else who had heard them. Not that you begrudged those people, not knowing them or not caring. It was Kaeya’s right to be as he was, flirty and irreverent; and you’d never ask him to change that part of himself, or any other.

To do so would be to change the person you’d grown to love.

You trotted up the steps of the Favonius headquarters, opening the door with a slight “oof” before stepping into the cool building. Today was going to be a quiet sort of day for the knights, and you’d been assigned to pick up a few books from Jean’s office to be recorded by Lisa before being sent off to the Church. Going to open the door you paused at the voices inside.

“– saying it’s nothing.”

“And I’m saying that it’s becoming a distraction. I don’t want to control your actions Kaeya, but this pining has been slowing down your work, and we need you as one of our most crucial members to be on top of things.”

“I’m not pining.”

“What do you mean you aren’t pining,” Jean let out a snort, “as if it’s not obvious to everyone around you. Look, I’m not saying you have to break things off –”

“Good, because they haven’t even begun.”

“Then maybe that’s part of your problem. Maybe if you told them you liked them then you’d be able to get back on track.”

“I’m doing my best.”

“You aren’t doing anything. And that’s the problem.”

You didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, having made your way over to the library as to make sure that you were get caught, and to cool your head in regards to what you’d just heard.

So Kaeya liked someone. You shouldn’t’ve really been surprised. Kaeya was a wonderful person; intelligent, good with a weapon, polite, handsome. What person wouldn’t fall in love with him? And when everyone’s in love with you, well, it was unsurprising that eventually Kaeya would find someone who he loved back just as much. Then, why did it hurt?

You fought the urge to wrack your brain for the people Kaeya spoke most about, finding the act beneath you. Still, your mind wandered. Perhaps it was Rosaria after all, or maybe it was only because you remembered her. Perhaps it was the sword smith who came twice monthly to check up on the weaponry. Or perhaps it was the tailor, who could sew anything with the utmost care. Or perhaps it was a musician, or an archivist, or another knight. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Your head swam and you found your eyes stinging. Now wasn’t the time to cry, not when you needed to honor your appointment with Jean, not when you were somewhere where any one of your colleagues might discover you. Not where Kaeya might walk in any minute and realize what you’d done. This thought finally brought you out of the spiral of your mind. Making sure that any tears that might’ve escaped were wiped away you took a deep breath, steadying yourself before you walked out of the library and into Jean’s office.

Evidently you must’ve looked much worse than you thought, for Jean took one look at you and ordered you home, grumbling about how much trouble there had been recently. You thanked her half-heartedly before making your way out of the Headquarters, heart heavy as lead. At least work would’ve been a welcome distraction.

Arriving home you saw what Jean meant. Though you weren’t particularly teary, your face had taken on an ashen pallor that made it look like you’d either just gotten a shock, fainted, or had suddenly contracted consumption. Letting out a sigh you collapsed on the couch of your apartment. You knew you should probably do something, should eat or work on some extra work or something. But right now you didn’t want to do any of that. You just wanted to forget.

The knock that sounded at your door was extremely unwelcome, and you bit back bitter words as you made your way over to the door. Any protest however was silenced at the sight of Kaeya, hair slightly tussled, expression opaque, on your doorstep.

“Kaeya.” You meant to sound more peppy, but the action felt too tiring. “What’re you doing here?”

“Making sure that you’re alright. Jean told me that you looked unwell, and we can’t have our best knight getting sick, now can we?”

“I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

You went to turn around, when Kaeya reached over and place his hand on your forehead. Freezing you let out a sound somewhere between a strangled cry and a shriek. Kaeya didn’t react to this however, or the red quickly spreading across the bridge of your nose. Instead he let out a sigh, before smiling, something which also caused your heart to seize up.

“Not running a fever. I’m glad. Do you know what’s wrong by any chance?”

“Yes. No! I mean, I think, I, I just need rest.”

“You can tell me if something’s wrong. I might not be able to help, but I can try. Consider it the duty of the Cavalry Captain. Have to keep up appearances, even among the ranks.”

“Really Kaeya, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.” Kaeya’s eye seemed to pierce through your soul. “You seem… upset, exhausted. Please, let me help.”

“I can’t…” Your voice cracked and you turned your head away, mortified by your inability to control yourself.

“What do you mean you can’t?” Kaeya’s voice was filled with sudden worry. “Is someone doing something to you?”

“No! No one is. I just can’t because, because it’d be selfish.”

“What do you mean?” Kaeya’s tone had become utterly perplexed, and for a moment you felt the crazy urge to laugh. As if it wasn’t painfully obvious why you couldn’t. This was so tiring. You were so tired.

“Because it’s not fair of me to take away your happiness just because of my own feelings.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I heard you talking to Jean,” you explain, face burning, “she said that you liked someone. Or maybe you did, I don’t remember. Anyways you like someone and it’s not fair of that to hurt me, I have no right to your feelings. But, but it hurts, it really, really hurts.”

The silence when you finished was miserable. You weren’t even looking up at Kaeya, not wanting to see the destruction of a friendship you valued so much.

“Have you considered that the person I’m so infatuated with might be you?”

When you looked up you caught a wave of emotions, similar in strength to the ones currently going through you, plastered over Kaeya’s face. Happiness, sadness, regret, relief; all these things danced in his eyes. In that moment you loved him even more for it, for knowing that he understood, and that he too couldn’t hide the affects of having someone you loved so close and yet so far.

Saying nothing you walked over and slowly stretched your hand out. Kaeya took the hand in his, and you reveled in the small intimacy, in his calloused fingers enveloping yours.

“I’m not good enough.” You pointed out, voice soft.

“You aren’t the one who decides who I love.” Kaeya replied, voice firm. “To me there is no one else worthy in the world. Only you. And I hope that I can be the same for you, that I can be worthy.”

“Yes. Oh yes.”

For Kaeya was more than simply worthy. He was the one you loved the most, as well as the one who’d now made you the happiest person you could ever dream of.

#requested #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #childe #ganyu #kaeya #childe x reader #ganyu x reader #kaeya x reader #scenarios #my writing

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ickle-ronniekins · 4 years ago

Text

tangled up

request: from nonnie! “love those sharing a bed tropes... not saying you should do it but you should definitely do it”

pairing: fred x fem!gryffindor!reader

word count: 2.3k

A/N: ummmmmm love this request, i'm in suuuucch a fred mood lately

warning(s): brief mention of war, ~implied sexual content~ i suppose

tag list: @mintlibri @seppys-return-to-madness @how-do-life-does @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @semmelsemi @cottageoflove @laneygthememequeen @snakesonaplane-7 @keoghans @dreamer821 @wtfweasleyy @62442-am @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @obsessedwithrandomthings @thoseofgreatambition @harrysweasleys @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @hood-and-horan @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole @angelinathebook @highly-acidic @purplefragile @90shermione @zreads @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hollands-weasley @andromedaa-tonks @bbstrawberry0421 @princessof-theuniverse @cappsikle @mytreec @imseeinggred @idont-knowrn @flyingserpxnt @auroraboringalis57 @godricsswords @jejegu @annasofiaearlobe @starlightweasley @alwaysasadaesthetic @thisismysketchbook @izzytheninja @imboredandneedalife @hemmoporro | message me to be added loves!

The cool October air had a bit of a bite to it -- it seemed as though Bill and Fleur’s wedding was ages ago. You wrapped a blanket around your shoulders to reduce the chill in your bones.

Suddenly two redheaded figures appeared with a pop! onto the field outside of your home. By what you could see, they’d apparated just before the line of protective enchantments -- a type of advanced magic only a very intelligent wizard could do.

“Bloody hell -- you’re a life saver, you know that?” George exclaimed as he finally reached you, wrapping you in a warm embrace. “I couldn’t be there for one more moment.”

Fred rolled his eyes and explained, “He means at Auntie Muriel’s. Being a bit overdramatic, are we, George?”

The elder twin shot his younger brother a look of amusement as George dropped his bag onto the floor and ran a hand through his hair. “Overdramatic? Tell me, Fred, would you like to go back?”

Fred then draped an arm across your shoulder and peered at his brother. “And reject our best mate’s offer to spend time at her lovely home? That would be so rude.” George swore he saw his twin shudder a bit, no doubt at the thought of returning to their Auntie Muriel’s to endure more yelling and criticism. George shot him a very sardonic look, and laughed lightly.

“Glad you two decided to come -- it’ll be nice having someone else in the house. I haven’t had a proper night’s sleep in months,” you waved your wand to pull three teacups from the kitchen cupboard and started the kettle. You felt a sense of ease at having your two closest friends here. “Should be alright out here, at least for a while.”

Fred glimpsed around your tiny little house. It was small, but exceptionally tidy with a very cozy feeling to it. It looked much different than the Burrow, but still emanated that feeling of home. “Lovely place you’ve got.”

“Thanks, Freddie,” you replied, handing him a steaming cup of tea. He gingerly took it out of your hands. “Just one problem.”

The twins chorused together, “What?”

“I’ve only got one extra bed.”

If the room hadn’t gone so eerily still at your comment, you never would have noticed the small jab to the hip George gave his twin. Fred grunted a bit and stifled a cough. “Oh, no worry -- George already said he’ll take the floor.”

Fred earned himself an eye roll and another jab.

You waved them both off and blew on your tea. “Don’t be silly! I’ll take the floor. You two’ve just got to battle it out for who gets the bigger bed.”

As if on queue, George immediately hoisted his bag back over his shoulder. He began walking away and pointed toward your very tiny spare bedroom off of the kitchen. “This one here, yeah? Thanks again, Y/N, really appreciate you letting us escape the wrath of our aunt -- I’m absolutely knackered, hope you two don’t mind if I turn in!” and with a quick wave to you and Fred, George closed the door and you both almost immediately heard very loud snoring. You and Fred exchanged a laugh.

You made sure everything was in order for Fred before leading him to your room. But you noticed he hadn’t brought his stuff with him -- you saw his belongings near your front door. With a wave of your wand, you brought it forward.

“I’m really okay to sleep on the couch,” he told you, pointing back toward the front.

“I’m not going to have you sleep on the couch,” you replied, shaking your head. “Besides -- you’re not staying out there. I might be a bit dramatic, but the couch is too close to the windows and the front door, and though I’ve been safe here for a while..” you voice trailed off a bit, and you swallowed down the nerves bubbling up inside of you. “Just -- we never know where the Death Eaters are. You take the bed, I’ll take the couch.”

You patted Fred’s shoulder, ready to head back out to your front room, when he took your wrist in his hand and whirled you back around to face him. “If I’m not allowed to take the couch, neither are you.”

You crossed your arms and swallowed. “Fine,” you replied with a grin. “Have got tons of extra pillows and a massive blanket here somewhere -- let me go and fetch it. Go on then, make yourself comfortable.”

“Merlin, you are being thick today,” Fred chuckled, and you noticed traces of the young boy you grew to love. He caressed small circles on the back of your hand. “Would you just sleep in your own bed?”

“But --” your breath caught in your throat. You glanced at your own bed, easily big enough for two, maybe even three, and went against your better judgement before you could overthink it. “Just share with me, then. Nobody takes the floor.”

A hint of nervousness flashed across his features before twisting into a cheeky grin. You continued on when he stayed silent, “What’s the matter, Freddie? You’ve been my best mate for the better half of the last twenty years. I mean, I’ve seen you in your bunny slippers, for Merlin’s sake --” Fred flinched uncomfortably at the memory of you catching him, late one evening in Gryffindor tower, in bunny slippers his mum had knitted for him as a child. You had never let him forget it.

His grin deepened alongside the crimson red colour of his cheeks. “Listen, woman, they are soft and keep me nice and toasty, alright?”

“Whatever you say,” you replied before sliding yourself underneath your warm blanket. You patted the other side of the bed in an accidental sensual way and realized how that must’ve come across. You quickly cleared your throat and turned off the light before you could see his reaction. “Erm -- there are extra pillows on the couch if you need.”

You felt his body slide in next to yours, and you could still make out some of his facial features from the faint light of the lightning strikes outside. He was definitely still grinning. “I’m fine, really.”

You figured out quite quickly that neither of you were able to sleep, especially because it was only eleven p.m. and because of the wild wind and rain that were howling outside of your window. The words were spilling out of you before you could help it. “Fred?”

He turned on his side to face you. “Yeah?”

You were laying on your back, looking up at your ceiling in the darkness. “Are you afraid?”

When he didn’t answer right away, you turned your head to face him too. Each time the lightning struck it was bright and vibrant, and highlighted his features in a more intimate way than ever before. He threaded his brows together and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I am.”

It was weirdly comforting hearing him say that he was afraid. The man who didn’t have a serious bone in his body was actually scared. It was strange and unnerving and brought a sense of solace to you all at once.

You sucked in a breath, worried that your normal evening anxiety would show solely through the look in your eyes. You turned away to glance toward the ceiling again when you felt Fred brush his fingers gently against yours under the covers. Your breath hitched at the contact.

“I think it’ll be okay though.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I suppose I can’t..” it was so weird, hearing him speak like this. He shifted again. “I just think.. we’re more prepared than before. Think there’s more of us this time. Besides, we’ve done our studying, and we’re all brilliant wizards.”

A smile tugged at the edges of your mouth. “You are kind of brilliant.”

“Wow,” he breathed, and it was almost a whisper. You noticed the way the edges of his eyes crinkled as he smiled. “Can I get that in writing?”

“Care to return the compliment first?”

“Hang on,” he replied, placing his hands behind his head in a bit of a relaxed state. “I need to bask in this for a moment.”

“Oh shove off, you git!”

You playfully swatted him before he retaliated. Soon enough you were both sitting upright, thwacking one another with pillows and laughing into the darkness of the night. Fred fell to the floor with a dull thump, and you stifled lots of giggles and shushed him as he slid back into bed next to you. “You’re going to wake up George!”

You weren’t sure how long the two of you were swatting at one another. It could’ve been hours, or perhaps days. But then the storm grew more fierce, and you found yourself scooting closer to him in bed. Fred always had a way of making you forget about everything going on around you. It was always surprising to you how you’d be able to drown out the rest of the world, as long as you listened to him talk, or as long as you watched him work on his inventions with gentle hands. Even in lessons, back in school, when he’d teasingly wink at you from across the classroom, you were pretty much rendered completely useless for the rest of the day. When it was just you and him, the rest of the world might as well not even exist.

He must’ve noticed how you zoned out, because he asked, “What’s on your mind?”

You turned on your side to face him fully this time. “Just reminiscing.”

“Yeah? About what?”

“Remember when we bumped into one another in the corridors during our fourth year -- I was sneaking sweets up from the kitchens, and you were attempting to sneak into one of the classrooms to finish working on inventions?” You smiled at the memory. “And then Filch was roaming around, and we nearly got caught?”

Fred laughed. You were happy that he remembered. “Never sprinted back to the common room so quickly in my life. That ruddy cat of his was clawing at my ankles.”

“Between the fact that I’d hardly gotten any sleep that night and the adrenaline rush, I was bloody exhausted.”

Fred snorted. “Yeah, you fell asleep in the armchair next to the fire almost immediately when we returned and began to snore rather loudly, if my memory serves me correct.”

You grinned, not skipping a beat. “Yeah, my snoring is almost as embarrassing as those slippers of yours.”

You expected him to groan and throw another pillow in your direction, but instead he just deepened his smile and reached out and placed his hand next to yours on the edge of his pillow, your fingers almost touching. “I dunno -- I thought it was cute.”

You really hoped the steady drumbeat sound of your heart was drowned out by the sounds of the thunder outside. You weren’t so sure though. “Yeah?”

He wet his lips and nodded. “I remember having to wake you up because it was nearly four a.m. -- fire had died out and you looked so uncomfortable in that armchair -- I just wanted to carry you upstairs. Except..” Yeah, jinxes by the professors at each respective staircase. Boys weren’t allowed in the girls dorms, and vice versa. You knew exactly what he was getting at.

You felt a swift surge of confidence overtake you, so you gently moved your fingers a few centimeters before you slowly intertwined them with his. He didn’t flinch. Your voice was softer than you expected. “What else do you remember about that night?”

It was an opening -- you didn’t want to be so blatantly obvious about it, but Fred could always read you like a book. You hoped he still could, after all these years. Luckily for the both of you, nothing had changed. He took the opening. “I remember wanting to kiss you.”

You bit your lip, hoping to suppress the nerves that were bubbling up inside of you like fizzy champagne.

Fred laughed cheekily. “Never got a chance, though.”

Before you could think more on it, you nudged his leg with your toes and scooted closer to him. You could see the steady rise and fall of his chest, you were so close. “Then kiss me now.”

His mouth parted slightly in surprise, but nevertheless he inched forward and caught your lips with his. They were soft -- softer than you ever could have imagined, and so was the kiss itself. He tasted faintly of mint, and and you found yourself breathing in deeper when he trailed one solitary finger across your jawline and down your neck. The feel of him against you warmed up your entire body in a way that the common room fire never could.

He sighed against your lips before reluctantly pulling away. “Mmm we should’ve been doing this the entire time,”

You laughed softly and brought your fingers to your lips, hoping to still feel that electricity. “Yeah, we probably should have.”

All thoughts of the war seemed to subside as he leant in to kiss you again. Somehow, being with him, your limbs entangled together -- it was enough to make you forget about the war on the horizon, everything that was about to happen. As far as you were concerned, as long as Fred was beside you, tangled in the covers of your bed, everything would be alright.

He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes. His voice was rough and sensual and soft all at the same time as he wiggled his eyebrows at you. “Thanks for inviting me to sleep in your bed.”

You grinned and raked your bottom lip through your teeth. “Yeah, well, like you said -- we should’ve been doing this the entire time. Figured I’d get a jump start on what we’ve missed.”

He laughed and wrapped his arms tightly around your hips. Goosebumps sprouted on your skin as he lazily trailed his fingers up and down your spine and told you, “Knew you were my favorite for a reason.”

#fred weasley #george weasley #fred and george weasley #weasley twins #fred weasley reader insert #fred weasley x reader #fred wealsey x you #fred weasley drabble #fred weasley one shot #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley imagines #weasley twins imagine #weasley twins imagines #hp fanfic #hp fanfiction

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rcksmith · 4 years ago

Text

Spring breeze part.2 — Spencer Reid

Gif by @ssadrreid

Sumarry: Spencer never thought about falling in love with someone, but he certainly didn't expect that he would fall in love with Gideon's daughter. — season 3 —

Part.1 Part.3 Part.4

A/N: I was very happy with the return you guys had in the first part💖. I hope you guys like.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️ Couple:Spencer Reid / Gideon's daughter!reader.

Warnings: nothing, just very fluff.

— — — — —

Spencer straightened his tie for the hundredth time in front of the mirror, in several unsuccessful attempts to exhibit his best that day. It was funny and ironic how, after so many years wearing dress shirts and a tie, the universe seemed to handpick that day to do - no matter how much Spencer tried to fix it - his tie looked weird. The fabric was too far to the left, or too far to the right, or too wrinkled in the folds. No matter how much he undid the knot or changed his tie, still looked strange.

What a nightmare.

Reid was barely able to sleep with the notion that he would see you today, his body being whipped assiduously by unsettling waves of euphoria, his mind whizzing like a propellant, anxiety screaming in his mind and sending his sleep for miles away. That morning, the world seemed to be more stuffy, hot and torrid, and for a second, Reid felt himself under the heat of Egypt instead of autumn in Washington.

He could feel his heart speeding up with the steps of the clocks, his breath running away from his lungs, a thousand and one speeches being revised in his head to try to lessen the likelihood of speaking some bullshit near you. Because he couldn't ruin that chance.

Spencer knew he was not the type of guy to have dates whit women like you every day. In fact, Laila had been the only stunning woman who had looked at him a second time. But, well, to be honest, he knew that all that affection she had directed him had been side effects of the transfer. He had been her hero and it clouded people's rationality. And, to his disquiet and to the dread of his insecurity, you were above the beauty of Laila on stratospheric levels.

To make matters worse, the damn tie wasn't good! God, he was screwed.

Spencer gave up on that impossible mission, settling for and conforming to what the tie looked like after the twentieth attempt. He wanted you to see him as a handsome person, a man worth wasting time with, not a boy who only served to be your friend. You were beautiful on so many levels that... well, Reid wanted you to be attracted to him, too, to simplify.

He stepped away from the mirror and slung his work bag over his shoulder, trying to control the pounding of his own heart.

On the way to work, trying hard to avoid thinking about what him looked like in that damned imperfect tie, Reid wondered, for a moment, if you too were under the same emotions. Did you change your clothes several times because you also felt anxious too? Could it be that, like him hands, yours also trembled? Or, if he was lucky, was your heart beating as hard as him?

He hoped that was yes.

As soon as he entered the BAU headquarters, with anxiety as his chaperone, Spencer sat at his own table while pouring a “Good morning” to his colleagues.

“Arrived early.” Derek narrowed his eyes at him, in that suspicious look.

"I am never late." He was quick to hit and that caused his friend to raise an eyebrow.

"But you never be anxious to get here earlier."

Sometimes Spencer hated that his friends were profiles.

“I just like my job.” Reid started to unpack things of bag, trying to avoid the look of Derek who was still burning his back.

“Oh, I'm sure you like.” The double meaning in his friend's tone did not go unnoticed by Spencer, but he did not want to delve into the truths of that argument, much less think about it.

Emily and JJ arrived after a few minutes, with Garcia following behind and making their point that she was not to blame for buying those pairs of shoes, since they were practically begging her to take them. Normally, Reid did not look at the glass door whenever he heard someone approaching, or had a strong desire to see Gideon pass through them as well.

But that day... that day, seeing Gideon meant seeing you. And seeing you meant that you would go through that door. And going through that door meant that Spencer would see you come in. That was enough to make his gaze turn to those doors from minute to minute.

But time passed. Fifteen minutes flew by, then twenty, then thirty. Anxiety increased and now his agitated heart was tuned to his right leg, which did not stop quietly, shaking from top to bottom assiduously.

“What do you look for at the door so much, Reid?”

Prentiss asked the last question that Reid would like to answer, and that caught Derek’s attention, who, as expected, laughed amusingly and sank further into the chair, a sly, playful smile on his lips.

“Oh, he is expecting a member of the Gideon family.”

Spencer swore and, in that moment, he was never so jealous of ostriches for being able to stick their heads underground. If he were one of them, he would definitely do it.

“I'm not expecting Y/n.” he said, whit voice higher and thin than usual.

“But I didn't say it was Y/n.” Derek laughed and Spencer felt his cheeks go red.

This time he gave up hitting back, his let out a bad mood murmur and turned forward, forcing himself not to look at the door anymore. From that moment on, Spencer focused on focusing on the pile of reports in front of him, forcing his brain to disconnect from the things around him and concentrate on matters that demand his all attention.

The hours went by, faster this time, the case-free day was being used to finish late reports and giving the team time to recover the nerves and breath of the last case.

After noon, Gideon still hadn't arrived and Spencer started to feel slightly fearful. He was about to take his phone out of his pocket and dial Jason when JJ appeared, handing over more piles of reports to they that required to be finished today.

Derek gave a loud curse of annoyance, muttering something and back to writing again. Emily was used to the paperwork bureaucracy, but from the bittersweet and dissatisfied look on her face, Spencer knew that no one there shared the same delight him had with paperwork. He also knew that Morgan was exhausted because he had remodeled a property yesterday and was barely could to sleep, and Prentiss felt overwhelmed because she was dealing with problems with her mother and with the bureaucracy policy that Strauss pressed against her.

Then Spencer looked at the file stack itself. There was a lot of paperwork, but the amount of reports he would finish in two minutes was three times what his friends would finish in an hour. He leaned forward, looking over the table to see Emily and focusing Derek better in his field of vision.

“Do you guys want to give some reports? I finish faster anyway”

They agreed without hesitating or pretending modesty. Reid laughed, saying that his friends would owe him one, and went back to work.

After that, when Spencer finished the reports and lifted his head from the paperwork, the light in the world had dimmed to a dark blue hue, streaked by small, bright stars.

The breeze coming in through the large glass windows was fresh and invigorating, the scent of the night's wonderful promises was reminiscent of your perfume. And then he realized that neither you nor Gideon showed up all day. Something about him withered, the euphoria diminished until it became as small as the stars outside. The clock struck seven at night when Spencer got up and put his things away, millions of feelings buzzing in chest.

The unsettling sense of concern began to take place than had previously to been emotions of anxiety and excitement, and he pondered whether to ask Hotch about Gideon or to call himself. Reid looked around, looking under his colleagues, who were packing up to go home, and going up to Aaron's office. He could still see his figure under the marble table, the light from the room underscoring the serious and concentrated expression he directed to the documents. The air in that room looked different, maybe more dense, maybe more serious. But Spencer knew it was best to let Hotch do his own thing.

He ran the tip of his tongue over the corner of lips, reaching into his pocket and reaching for his cell phone.

“Hey, Reid." he turned toward Morgan, that signaled them to go to the elevator.

“Did you speak to Gideon today? Or did you hear Hotch say something about it?” The question came after he reached Derek, both of them walking out the glass door.

"Is it Gideon you're worried about or... his daughter?” He laughs shamelessly, pressing the elevator button.

Spencer stumbles over the words when says: “Wh-What? No. I'm just worried about him. It has nothing to do with… ”

As soon as the sentence was about to end, the elevator doors open. Instead of the usual void or presence of someone from the FBI, Spencer felt catatonic when he saw the female figure inside.

You.

In a burst, like a strong wind that blows and pushes things away, Spencer was struck by all the feelings and sensations that had been bubbling in his stomach all day. Euphoria, anxiety, insecurity and... animation. Suddenly, he was worried again about how he would look, what he would say, if he was presentable enough for you to look at him with... Well, Spencer didn't know how he wanted you to look at him, but he wished it were something that guarantee your affection.

He wanted to be something that excited you, that made your heart race. Just like his was now.

"Y/n...” He did not recognize his own voice. The intonation.

"Hey." You smiled genuinely, and it was able to make Reid's heart beat so fast that he feared you could hear. “I'm sorry I didn't show up and neither did my dad.”

“No problem at all.” He was sincere “Did something happen? Are you two okay? ”

The concern in Reid's voice was so palpable that you losing your breath. God, that man couldn't be real.

“I just remembered that Garcia is call me." Morgan tried to swallow a big smile “It was good to see you, Y/n.”

“Me too, Morgan.” You gave him a hand gesture that, for Reid, was lovely.

Spencer put his arm in the elevator door, preventing it from closing.

“Will you want to leave?” Always as solicitous as a gentleman.

“Oh no.” Now it was your cheeks that were softly red. “I came to see you actually.”

If nothing that had happened before was not enough to steal Spencer's breath, your sentence completed the mission. He put himself in an elevator, pressing a button and letting the doors close.

"I was going to bring my dad today, but ... well” You laughed “To put it succinctly, my dad has a list of things he wants to do before he dies, and one of them was rollerblading”

You and Spencer laughed. Half because he would have laughed at anything you said to see your smile, and half because he couldn't see Gideon having such a list. But he liked it. The feeling of knowing that Jason was having fun, enjoying life, not letting that job rip off all of his humanity, was comforting, joyful.

“Why do I feel this is not going to end well?" He joked too and you laughed.

“Because it doesn't end.” Your fingers ran through your hair “We ended up going to a place that had this, before he have work today, and he ended up twisting his ankle when he fell.”

You tried to no laught, because it was not something to play with, but after the fright passed and your father and you were entangled, they both burst out laughing. And now, reliving that, you didn't remember the hurt itself, but how great the fun between the two of you had been.

“He is fine?" But Spencer had a worried flash in his eyes.

“Oh, yes, the doctor said there was nothing much. He just needs to get some rest.” You smiled “I was going to call, but one thing led to another and when I saw it, it was too late to call. So I thought about coming in person.”

Spencer was known to have a photographic memory and a very high IQ, but at that moment, if then asked what you had just said, he would need a moment to remember. For the only thing he was concentrating on at that moment was the certainty that your smile could light up the whole of Washington. How your eyes held the stars' syntax and how the energy that emanated from you was... cheerful.

He realized that you were a cheerful person, outgoing and with an innate ease of making friends. You had that special touch that made people and the universe orbit around you. And Spencer knew it was one of the planets captured by your gravity.

"It is very sweet of you to come here to tell me that.” He smiled, but then realized what he had just said “N-not that you owe me any explanation! I just-I think it's cool that you worried and…n-not that I waited for you but… not th-that I didn't expect you too and...” Spencer stopped talking, giving up trying to find the right words to get him out of the mess he got himself into.

At times like this, Reid was used to people just dropping an embarrassed nod and leaving, or ignoring the avalanche of things he said. But as soon as the tone of your laughter echoed through the elevator and snaked through him body like a wave of energy, Reid looked at you more closely. You didn't give that embarrassed look, nor did you look sorry for him. You laughed lovingly and touched his arm.

"I was also looking forward to seeing you.” You summed up all of him thoughts in one sentence and freed him from all fears.

"Serious?" But disbelief was still present.

The elevator door opened and the two of you got out, walking to the exit of the building and being greeted by the cool, comforting breeze of the night.

“Yea.” You said as if it were obvious, “What do you think about going to a movie? It's not too late. ”

If Spencer had been told a few weeks ago that in a few days he would be on a date with the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, he would have scoffed. He would have thought it was a joke with a background of evil. Going out with girls was not on the list of things Spencer did regularly, but he was thanking any confusion or mistake the Universe had made to accidentally placed you with him.

To be honest, with you on his side, with you with him, Spencer felt like he had won in life. That all those years of school and university, when he only saw beautiful girls from afar and dreamed of what it would be like to have one this girls interest in him, had dissipated into the air. Dissolved in the breeze like smoke. During all the hours of film, the joyful and ecstatic conversations you both had after, Spencer could feel the connection in the air. Naturally, kind of magical.

Did he know you two days or two decades ago?

You told all of your adventures, all of stories, and listened carefully to every ramble and phrase Reid had to say. He felt, for the first time, completely important. As if everything he had to say was valuable as a diamond, rare as a tropical treasure.

He felt comfortable, relaxed, cheerful.

And when, at the end of the night while the two of you were walking along the lively and vibrant streets of DC, you took his hand and intertwined yours fingers, Spencer never felt so alive.

He had been born twenty-four years, but only now did he really feel what it was like to be alive.

tagged: @gublersuvula @peculiarinsomniac

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid #dr.spencer reid x reader #dr. spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds fluff #derek morgan #spencer x reader #spencer x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #mgg imagine #mgg fluff #mathew gray gubler #mgg x reader

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mrsbrekkers · 3 years ago

Note

Hi! I read your Jesper fic and it’s like my favorite that I’ve ever read honestly it was amazing! I was wondering if I could request a Jesper x reader where the reader is small and really sweet and he has a crush on her? And she like steals his clothes and he just gets rlly soft? Once again I love your writing have a great day/night and no rush!

hi there! we’ve talked over pm, but thank you again, those kind words mean the WORLD to me! i haven’t put my writing out there in a while, so this means a lot, thank you again :)

so i had a weird idea when i saw this when i woke up this morning. mind you, it’s been sitting in my requests for a few days, but i saw it and didn’t have a lot of ideas, but then inspiration struck me and brb i gotta cry over this. AHHHHHH

pairings! jesper x reader / kaz x inej ( being soulmates ) + nina x matthias ( also being soulmates ) + wylan van eck enjoying his pie

reader is again, gender neutral, but leans more female presented, BUT the pronouns they/their are used throughout

warnings! jesper and reader being the fluffest couple to walk the grishaverse, kaz endlessly shipping, kaz also pinning for inej, nina + kaz shipping reader and jesper, the crows in general shipping reader x jesper

word count; 3036 words

one-shot under cut!

this mood board was made by a friend and UGH IT TAKES IN THE FIC S O WELL!!! @r3tr0sp3ct !! thank you so much, SHFJD

5 WAYS TO TELL YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER YOU LOVE THEM

Courtesy Of Jesper Fahey, to my Dearest Y/N

5: Tease Them About How Short They Are

It was no secret that Y/N was the shortest of the crows. A mere five foot three, compared to the other Crows? They were short. Shorter than Inej by an inch or two, and by a foot compared to Matthias. Yet, it made them dangerous: able to move from place to place almost as swiftly as Inej. They were able to look unintimidating, when in reality, they could kill you, your family, and your relatives. They were able to lie their way through almost anything: another factor of people underestimating them. They were dangerous, which is why they were a part of the Crows after all. An asset, a leader even. Kaz saw them as valuable.

That didn’t stop the endless amount of teasing from the Crows though. And who had started it? Jesper Fahey.

First joining the Crows had been an impulsive decision, but one that Y/N didn’t regret. A family came with joining, and they’d lost theirs a pretty good time ago. What also came with joining was the teasing. Another day at the Crow Club, and Y/N, still relatively new to the Barrel life, was watching as Jesper gambled. They’d never understand the payoff of such quizzical acts of dumbness, but they stood there behind Jesper, confused.

Finishing the hand, Jesper glanced back at Y/N, chuckling slightly. Y/N’s eyes shifted, their glare at Jesper meeting him right in the eyes. It almost caused him to back down from what he was about to say, but he simply smirked the usual Jesper smirk. Flirtatious and bubbly. His hand swiftly moved, pulling Y/N to stand directly in front of him, the hand on their waist causing them to become flustered.

“You’re shorter than Inej,” Jesper inquired.

“I am not-” but Y/N didn’t finish their sentence. They’d already known such, but now Jesper was pointing it out. “So what?”

“It means I get to deem a new nickname for you! Inej would never let me call her anything related to her height, she threatened me with her knives. Or Kaz would glare at me, which scares me to say the least,” Jesper smiled now. He was going to have to find his way into Y/N’s good graces to fully engage in said nickname. They seemed conflicted for a moment, a pout making its way to their face.

“Does that mean I get to deem a nickname for you based on how tall you are?” Y/N asked, raising an eyebrow. They already had one in mind, considering Jesper was only a mere inch shorter than Matthias, the nickname still fit him.

“Well, that depends, Shortcake, what is your nickname for me?”

“Big Bear,” Y/N responded, smiling.

“Hmm, I like it. Shortcake and Big Bear. A powerful duo,” Jesper said, chuckling.

And thus, the teasing of how short Y/N was began.

4; Tell Them How Sweet They Are

The teasing didn’t stop there. Of course it didn’t. Because while the nickname ‘Shortcake’ was coined by Jesper, everyone had chosen new nicknames for how short Y/N was. Matthias called them Bubbles. Nina called them Babycakes. Wylan called them Munchkin. Inej called them Mini-me. And even Kaz had found a nickname for them; Firecracker.

But for Jesper, he wanted to find other ways to tease, or to tell Y/N what they meant to him, and low and behold, chance struck him. Eating with the Crows at one of the bakeries in Ketterdam, Y/N sitting next to Nina, with Jesper on their other side. Matthias sat next to Nina, squished between her and Inej. Wylan sat on the edge of the booth, opposite of Jesper, with Kaz sitting in a chair at the head of the booth.

Jesper glanced over at Y/N every once in a while, who was enjoying their creampuffs, he watched a bit of the filling be left on their lips. letting out a small chuckle, he watched Y/N turn toward him. “Hm?” They murmured, tilting their head. Sometimes Jesper wondered what someone like Y/N was doing in the Barrel. How Kaz had even found someone so sweet and kind roaming the streets.

“You got something a little-” Jesper raised his hand, his thumb brushing the pastry filling from Y/N’s lips. “There,” and with that, he chuckled before eating the filling. Y/N’s eyes had followed his hand the entire way, becoming flustered just as they had in the Crow Club just a few nights ago.

“That was my leftovers for later, Big Bear,” Y/N glared, their tone though was playful. The entire table now stared at them. Nina had a knowing look on their face, Matthias just seemed confused. Inej had let out a small laugh, Kaz’s eyes shifting to Inej upon hearing the sound. And Wylan? He just took another bite of his pie, his attention unwavered.

“Shortcake, you’re really telling me you would’ve saved any amount of those creampuffs as leftovers? I doubt it, they’re your favorite,” Jesper observed, making Y/N huff and taking another bite of a creampuff.

“They’re sweet and warm, of course I wouldn’t leave a single one for leftovers,” Y/N deemed, crossing their arms as they went to grab their last creampuff, but Jesper beat them to it, biting into it.

“Hmm, they’re not as sweet as you,” Jesper said, kissing Y/N’s nose, making them go cross-eyed with a smile.

“Hey! That was MY last creampuff!” Y/N said, coming to their senses after they realized Jesper had taken their last one. Before they could go to grab it though, Jesper raised it above his head. Oh, it was on. Before too long, Y/N was chasing Jesper out of the bakery, leaving the other Crows a laughing mess as they watched Jesper run, yelling for Y/N to catch him.

“Those two are soulmates,” Nina said, a wide smile on her lips as she watched Y/N practically topple Jesper onto the concrete, grabbing what was left of their creampuff and biting into it. Her eyes then shifted to Matthias.

“Soulmates.” Matthias agreed, smiling.

3; Save Them From The Bad Guy

Y/N was smart, Jesper knew that. They could probably give Jesper and Kaz a run for their money if they would like to. They were small, agile, talented. They were everything in Jesper’s eyes and more. But that didn’t make them any less susceptible to being overwhelmed during a job. They weren’t Nina Zenik. They weren’t Grisha, meaning if the right spots were hit they could indeed be overtaken.

But with Jesper by their side, that potential went down exponentially. Because whether Y/N believed it or not, and they did, Jesper would protect them with his life. They would do so for one another without hesitation. Which as Kaz put it: ‘is a dangerous prospect.’ The two didn’t care though. Well, in certain ways they did, but where was the fun in giving Kaz the satisfaction of thinking he was somewhat right? Answer: There was none.

Having just grabbed the package they needed during the job, Y/N and Jesper were about to be home free when they were spotted by the cashier, who undoubtedly worked for Pekka Rollins. Going eye wide, the two stared at the cashier for some time, and before they could come up with a Kaz level idea, the two bolted from the shop, Y/N’s hand in Jesper’s.

“We’re not dying today, Shortcake!” Jesper laughed over the commotion, the adrenaline of the job running through him as they ran.

“Hopefully not, Big Bear!” Y/N yelled, letting go of Jesper’s hand and breaking off from him. They were bigger targets together. Slipping through the crowds, Y/N ran as quickly as their legs could carry them. But speed could only make up so much when men who seemed twice your size were chasing after you.

Y/N knew Ketterdam well, but not Inej well. Not Kaz well. So when they came face to face with a wall that was too big for them to climb before the men managed to catch up, they scowled. Where the hell is Inej when you need her?

Turning to face the men who showed up, Y/N showed their hands. “Went after the wrong one,” They remarked, smirking. The men didn’t seem to be having it though, and as they stalked towards Y/N, a voice was heard behind them.

“And to think you’re usually the one saving my ass!” And then the three men fell, one bullet lodged in each of the men’s heads. Y/N looked up, smiling as they saw Jesper.

“Got the package?” Y/N asked, Jesper showcasing the bag of whatever it was Kaz had deemed they needed.

“I do, but I also have the most important package.” Jesper stepped over the bodies and took Y/N’s hand again, a wide smile on his lips.

“And what package would that be?” Y/N knew what he was going to say, but they wanted to hear it outloud

“Why you, of course!” Jesper winked, kissing Y/N’s forehead before they were off to bring the package to Kaz.

2; Let Them Borrow Your Clothes

Another night at the Crow Club, but something was unusual. Jesper was used to having a stalking Y/N behind him wondering how poker worked. This time though, they didn’t seem to be found anywhere in the Crow Club. It almost made Jesper not want to play. What was the point of playing if you didn’t have your lucky charm? There was no reason in his mind, especially as he began to have a bad streak of luck. So, standing from the table, he went to the booth Inej sat at, Kaz across from her.

“Have you guys seen Y/N?” Jesper asked, earning him a small smirk from Kaz, who simply glanced at Inej. He’d seen the newest Crow go to Jesper’s room while he’d gone down the steps. Kaz had been tempted to ask what they were doing, but he already had a feeling about what they were doing.

“They’re at the Slat,” Kaz said, deciding to rat out Y/N.

Jesper raised a brow. Weird. “Have fun you two! Inej, make sure he doesn’t come up with some more heist plans while I’m gone,” he joked, earning an eye roll from Inej. Turning from the table, he made his way out of the Crow Club, walking to the Slat and up to Y/N’s room, which was right next to his. Granted, they were really just tiny spaces meant to serve for the necessities. So, when Jesper arrived at their floor, he stopped in his tracks.

“Shortcake?”

Y/N turned, cursing as they realized they’d been caught. Instead of being adorned in their usual black attire, Y/N wore one of Jesper’s jackets.

“Listen, it was right there, it looked warm, I just really really . . . why are you walking towards me like that?” Y/N asked, watching as Jesper stepped towards them. If only they could see into Jesper’s mind, but the look in his eyes said it all. He was completely, utterly in love with the person before him. Letting out a gentle laugh, he kissed the corner of Y/N’s lips, earning him wide eyes.

“It looks better on you, although a little big, it’s perfect, Shortcake” Jesper said, in turn, he received a giddy laugh.

“Why thank you Big Bear. It is really warm, I may have to steal it,” Y/N remarked, crossing their arms and posing in the jacket for Jesper.

“You can’t steal it if I give it to you.”

“Hey! No fair. We’re criminals. I shall steal Jesper Fahey’s coat!”

“Mhm, now come on. I think you should show off your new attire at the Crow Club,” Jesper said, taking Y/N’s hand, but instead, they moved to stand beside Jesper, moving his arm so it wrapped around their waist.

When they arrived at the Crow Club once more, Inej glanced at Kaz, who now looked over his plans he’d been drawing out, his eyes on Y/N and Jesper.

“You’re so in on them being soulmates aren’t you?” Inej asked.

“Hmm, I don’t know what you’re talking about, my dearest Inej,” Kaz spoke quietly, making sure only she could hear.

1; Telling Them You Love Them

Whatever Jesper was planning, Y/N had a feeling it involved something big. They’d never seen him as frantic as he currently was. Then again, Jesper was a pretty frantic person at times, but still this probably took the cake for the most frantic. He had flowers, candies, creampuffs, not that Y/N knew all of that.

He was receiving different ways to tell people that you love them, and now he had no idea which one to go with. Nina told him pastries. Inej told him to simply be outright with it. Matthias told him some weird Fjerdan way they would do it. Wylan had shrugged, he’d never really been in love before. He hadn’t even DARED to ask Kaz for obvious reasons.

That left him with his own way of doing it. He wasn’t sure if Y/N would like it. He knew she’d like the cream puffs. But the candies? The flowers? Were they that kind of romantic?

It also didn’t help that when he’d asked everyone, he’d at first told them that he had feelings for Y/N, and they’d all replied that they knew. That didn’t help his nerves, because did that mean Y/N knew? Or were they just as oblivious as he was?

The night seemed simple enough - until it wasn’t.

The flowers didn’t smell right to Jesper, so he threw them out. The candies, as Nina revealed, were Y/N’s least favorite. The only thing he still had by the beginning of the night were the creampuffs. But he wanted to do this right. He had to do this right.

Entering the bakery, Jesper spotted Y/N at one of the booths, eating creampuffs. Well, there goes the last thing he had to give them. Making his way to the table, Jesper watched as Y/N raised their head to look at him.

“Don’t tell me Kaz sent you to come and ruin my night with some heist plans, Big Bear,” Y/N said, biting into their cream puff, humming in delight.

“Nope, just me. . . . just me,” Jesper murmured the last bit.

“Just you huh?” Y/N asked, finishing their plate and throwing it out. They stood, thanking the baker before leaving the bakery. Jesper followed behind. His mind raced with ideas on how to do this right. Maybe this was the right way? Stopping in one of the alleys, Jesper sucked in a deep breath.

“I love you!” He called to Y/N, who stalled for a moment, eyes going wide just as they did when Jesper had kissed the corner of their mouth.

“You make me rethink everything I know. You waltzed into the Crows lives, but most importantly, you waltzed into mine. I love you,” Jesper watched Y/N, seeing them laugh a bit.

“Go on, Big Bear,” Y/N spoke, walking slowly towards the gushing Jesper.

“I love the way you let me joke about your height. I love the way you get creampuff filling all over your face, you actually still have some on your lips. I love the way you joke with me during jobs, even when they go terribly wrong,” Jesper chuckled now, his smile wide.

“I love when you wear my clothes. They’re big on you. My jackets almost reach the floor. My sweaters reach your thighs. I love when you stand behind me while I’m playing cards, wondering how the game works. Or why it’s helpful. I love when you sneak into my bed late at night and lie across from me even with the small space we have, acting as if I don’t know you’re there. I love the way you chase me for your last cream puff and tackle me into the ground. But most of all, I love you . . . you, gosh do i love you,” Jesper felt out of breath. He wanted to yell from the top of rooftops that he loved Y/N. The things he’d do for them were endless.

“You know what I love about you, Jesper Fahey?” Y/N asked, tilting their head as they stopped in front of the breathless boy.

“What?”

“Everything,” and then they were on their tippy toes, their lips barely meeting Jesper’s.

The taste of cream puff filling hit Jesper first, a familiarity he knew with Y/N. Home. His fingers delicately moved to hold the back of their neck, his eyes shutting as he fully leaned down to kiss them. The pounding in his chest could likely be heard throughout the entirety of Ketterdam. He could feel the concrete underneath him, and it felt like the only stabilizer he had to keep him grounded. For if not for the concrete beneath him, he would’ve thought he was dreaming. Floating, even. But the feeling of their skin under his fingers, their lips. Everything invaded his senses and he didn’t want it to stop. He didn’t want them to stop.

Y/N had dreamed of this moment. The way Jesper’s slightly chapped lips would feel against their own, how soft his skin would feel, how his hair would feel. How he’d feel. Time felt lost, the world around them dimming as they let themself be consumed by this feeling. Nothing had felt so right. No one else existed except them.

Becoming breathless, Jesper pulled from Y/N, his eyes fluttering open as he placed his forehead against theirs. Then he felt the soft feeling of rain beginning to fall. “Isn’t that cheesy,” he chuckled, making Y/N laugh and take his hand.

“Ready to run through the rain, Big Bear?” They whispered.

Jesper didn’t answer, and instead he turned, pulling Y/N with him towards the Slat, their laughs being heard for miles.

238 notes · View notes

sunlightwoo · 4 years ago

Text

Maybe In Another Life

☀︎ pairing: soulmate!eric x g.n reader x soulmate!sunwoo

☀︎ genre: soulmate au, best friends to lovers au, there is some hints of fluff, but there is like really heavy angst cause of warning major character death,,, but there is hints of a love triangle going on, and twinge of slow burn in terms of lovers to exes to also strangers to lovers

☀︎ wc: 7.1k

☀︎ plot: you think that it’s strange that your soulmate bond is based on the colors that you are able to see. the more that you’re with them, the more present the colors are said to be. however you notice that the color in your life drains more and more away your life and know that it only happens when someone is falling out of love with the other. could that be the reason why you stopped seeing color with him when you thought that you were soulmates?

☀︎ a/n: this is now... my longest fic up to date and i’m impressed with myself these last few weeks since january when i started this idea but also concerned,, however: IT IS THE 18TH OF MARCH SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD SOOOO happy 19th birthday to me hahaha :) i decided to celebrate my birthday with this painful love triangle i wrote for myself with my ults and to be quite honest guys, no i am not okay HGUSEOGJNAEHSOUGJ anyways, i wrote this based on these two tiktoks : TT TT2 | and i hope that you guys liked reading this as much as i liked writing this!!

[ gina is listening to: daisy - pentagon ]

“He still hasn’t picked you up yet?”

Your head whipped over to look at Haknyeon, your coworker that was finishing up wiping down the last of the tables of the restaurant and you gave him a small smile as you shook your head in response. It had been over an hour since your shift had ended, and usually on days that you’ve had a long shift like today, your boyfriend Eric would have picked up since the busses would not be running that late at night.

“It’s Saturday, he’s probably running a little late at the dance studio today with practice and stuff.” You whisper softly and continue to glance outside the window to see that the rain didn’t want to stop at the fast race it was pouring at.

It wasn’t the first time that your soulmate had been running late from picking you up at work, but you couldn’t blame him. He had been practicing a new choreography that he had been creating with his friends these days and you knew that he was a perfectionist, one that was willing to practice until all of his limbs fell off to make sure that he had gotten all of the moves down in one go.

That was how you met him in the first place, since a mutual friend of yours had introduced you both to one another. It didn’t take long for you both to realize that you were each other’s soulmates until you noticed that your soulmate mark was color, since your life had always been monochrome until you spent more and more time with him. He was the one person that had brought the vibrant colors into your life, and you knew that you were soulmates.

Even though he had often been busy at the dance studio that he was often found at, he always made time for you to go on the little, but meaningful, dates that you always treasured. You remember falling in love with Eric slowly, but surely, as he had been nothing but caring and acting as though you were close to one another long before you had realized that you were soulmates.

And you loved him.

The sound of a car going off brought you back to reality as you notice the car headlights shining past the window and you recognize it to be Eric’s car. After bidding your goodbyes to Haknyeon and grabbing your stuff, you tried to outrun the rain that poured as you had gotten inside the car to see Eric holding a bouquet of flowers in front of himself towards where you were looking at him with a surprised and curious expression.

“What’s the occasion, Sohn?” You teased as you took the bouquet into your own hands, raising your eyebrows at him while he was already giving you a playful look on his face.

“I can’t spoil you once in a while?” He playfully retorts and you jokingly shake your head in response, just as he lets out a quiet laugh and held your hands into his before gently kissing your knuckles, “I just wanted to get them for you, because I know we haven’t been spending, much time together even if we are under the same roof.”

He wasn’t wrong; these last few weeks have been more off than you had felt it where it was days like today that made you think about how distant you were with Eric, compared to when you first started dating. You remember the vibrant colors that flew in when you first met him, remembering that the colors of the sky when it rained were gloomy, but still more colorful than you had imagined with monochrome, and since then you remember all of your colors being more and more full of love and illuminance.

“I love you, Eric.” You say with a small smile on your face, hand still in his as he started to drive once again while you were on your way back home and the three words that were reciprocated from his own lips made you feel full of love.

“I love you, too.”

Or it should’ve, as you weren’t sure what to think of it as you drove home in comfortable silence with your hand being held in his on the gear shift and your other holding the bouquet of flowers. However, what you didn’t notice until that night was that the starry sky looked a little dimmer as you looked out the car window, the moonlight that you had grown loving for its brightness became more dull than what you remembered seeing at night.

You were currently sitting on your couch with your phone in one of your hands, humming to yourself as the other was brushing through the soft locks of Eric’s hair in your lap. The two of you had decided on a lazy day and were currently waiting for your takeout that you had earlier to arrive as today was one of the few weekends that both of your schedules had synched up for a date night at home, and you were excited for it.

Despite the fact that you had thought about the idea of the color draining from the night weeks ago from the sky when you looked outside, all of the remaining colors of your life remained vibrant as you weren’t as worried as you thought it to be. You continue to go through your phone and hum when suddenly a giggle erupts from Eric that you look at him confusedly for a moment, when his eyes locked onto yours in a split second as a small smile paints his face.

“Is there something on my face?” He muses and makes a weird expression that made him look too exaggerated to you as you playfully hit his chest in retaliation, shaking your head in response as you smiled back at him.

But he had never giggled around you like that, not in a while and you were confused as to what might’ve initiated it now.

“No, but I’m guessing one of your friends texted something funny to you that you giggled?”

You watched as his face reddens for a moment at your words, and you were even more curious at what he might’ve been looking at on his phone that made you wonder what he might’ve been giggling about. However, it seems as though he might’ve caught onto your thoughts when he shakes his head in response and suddenly shows you a picture of who you recognized as some of his friends, Sunwoo and Hyunjae from the stories that you’ve heard, messing around at the studio they danced at.

“They’re just being dumb again,” He chuckles and sits up for a moment just as he mentions the both of their mere existences, “Reminds me, Sunwoo is actually coming over to give back the spare clothes that he borrowed the other day because he tore one of his other clothes the other day.”

For almost a split second you were nervous; you had never met any of Eric’s friends except for Haknyeon since you worked together, but in the three years that you had dated and been soulmates with him, you had never met all of his friends that he’s mentioned before. You were pretty sure that they knew of you, considering there were moments that he had come home playfully complaining about how they teased him about your existence, but you were also amused and confused at the very thought of never introducing you to his friends.

Was he embarrassed of having you as his soulmate?

Just as you were about to speak up, the sound of the doorbell rings as you close your lips shut, watching Eric leave from his spot on the couch to grab the front door as it leaves you with your thoughts once more. It drowned out the loud chatter that came from the duo that must’ve been at the door and the more that you had thought about him never introducing you to his friends, the more you wondered how much of your relationship was actually real considering the fact that these last few months, or almost an entire year, you had been having dates in your own home when you were able to have the time to.

“Prove it that your soulmate is real, Eric.” You hear someone say at the door, and you could only assume that it must’ve been Sunwoo, when suddenly the view of the two entering your living room is present in your line of vision.

You smile at the new individual that you had yet to introduce to and let out a small wave, when you notice how he had stood there with a nervous, but also an unknown expression on his face. On the other side of the spectrum stood Sunwoo with his mind suddenly in places that should not be in the areas that they were in.

When he had first heard about his best friend having a soulmate of three years, he wasn’t sure if they were even real because even though they had been friends since high school, never had Sunwoo once seen a picture, or even met the said soulmate that Eric speaks so highly of. However, now that he was standing in your living room seeing that you were real, he feels like he had been struck with cupid’s love arrow mixed in with all the possibilities of soulmates even existing.

All because his mark of the red string was tied to your pinky finger, even though you were already someone else’s soulmate.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Sunwoo, I’ve heard a lot about you.” You softly say and he nods in response, just when he hands over the bag that was slung over his shoulder over to Eric, before turning back towards where you both were standing.

“I’ve heard a lot about you too. Y/N, right?” He reiterates, making you nod in response and think about how you feel just a twinge of guilt from the fact that maybe you overthinking it all earlier and doubt Eric shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

“I’ll go and take my leave, since I am assuming you guys are having a night to yourselves, but don’t let me stop you.” He chuckles awkwardly, turning to greet his friend goodbye and leaves out of your apartment before you could even let out a goodbye, however you thought that maybe you should get to know him more considering that both him and Eric were well friends.

It was one of your goals that you plan on accomplishing and you could only hope that maybe you could understand why the color that was draining from your life was becoming more and more evident.

“Hey, where are you heading out to?”

The sound of Eric’s voice ringing out from behind you makes you turn around from where you were standing at the front door and you noticed how the colors that were in your vision were duller as his neon pink hair that you knew he had recently dyed became more monochrome. You didn’t want to jump to any more conclusions since the last time that you did had ended up where you both didn’t talk for almost a week and it was because you were scared of what was yet to come.

“I’m just going to grab some lunch with Sunwoo. I thought you had to help Changmin with the choreography today?” You ask as there was a small hum that escaped his lips when he closed the water bottle in his hand with its cap and you wondered why the small glance that he was giving you sent chills down your spine.

“I was going to get ready, but you’re going to hang out with Sunwoo again?” He replies to your question, and you nod in response just as you stood your ground from where you were still standing at the door.

For the past several weeks, you had been hanging out with Sunwoo on the days that you knew Eric would be busy on your free days as you wanted to be friends with him, given the fact that he was Eric’s best friend. However, with the price of somehow spending time with Sunwoo apparently had the cost of the other being more distant, as you found him staying at the dance studio longer than he usually would stay, even if it was later into the night.

Along with the distance that was created between you and Eric, the colors that you once adored while being with him continuously became duller and you knew what it was. You could tell that something was wrong with your soulmate bond with him, and you didn’t want to make the same conclusions that you made the last fight you both had, but who were you to judge when all the color in your life was slowly draining out?

The sound of a car horn brings you out of your stare down with Eric and you watch as he disappears back into the kitchen without another word, leaving a small pang in your heart that left you unsettled just as you decided to walk out the front door. You notice how Sunwoo was giving you a small smile by the time that you had reached his car and mumbles for you to seatbelt just as he starts up the car again.

From Sunwoo’s end, he knows that you were soulmates since he could never ignore the red string that was connecting his pinky to yours. However, he also feels guilty knowing that you were oblivious to that information, along with the fact that you were also somebody else’s, his best friend’s. He doesn’t know when he would ever confess to you that you were soulmates, because he knows that you would probably pick Eric anyways because of how long you’ve been together as a fated pair.

He never would’ve wished it upon himself to be the person to break a soulmate bond, even if it was for his own selfish needs.

Until then, the red string felt like a burning reminder that he almost could’ve had a happy ending, if he had met you sooner. The thoughts of him constantly practicing how to tell you that your soulmates haunted him, as he could never find the right words to say them, which was why his first resort was to ignore and push you out of his life, if you weren’t so insistent on wanting to be friends in the first place.

That was something that he had regretfully, but also selfishly took upon himself. He didn’t want to get close to you because he’s scared of the heartache that comes with being rejected by a soulmate. He knows that those heartaches are known to be deadly to people that yearned for a soulmate, like him, and there were ways for him to get rid of his bond before it was too late, but he also knew that it was unfair to both you and him if he were to sever the red string, being warned that he would never have a soulmate again if he cuts it.

Which was why he chose the selfish way out and continued to get closer to you just as friends, knowing that you were Eric’s soulmate and not his as the two of you were currently grabbing some lunch at a nearby burger and boba joint.

The two of you had planned to come here for days, since the minute that you both heard that it opened closeby to where you worked. Despite the fact that it was raining outside again, you still made sure that today was the day that you got lunch together, because it was the only other time that you knew that you were free before you were swamped with life responsibilities once more.

“The boba is really good here, I think I have a new favorite place now,” You smiled as the cold cup in your hand filled your taste buds with a delicious sweet flavor from the drink in your hands, “You didn’t have to pay for today though. I’ll have to owe you for next time.”

Sunwoo shakes his head at your words with a smile on his face just as he puts down the burger that was in his hands, taking a moment to finish chewing before he could speak again. If anybody were to look at you both from the way that you were unknowingly looking at the other, they might assume that the two of you were on a date, and you couldn’t help but think about Eric again as there was a flash of a frown that appears on your face until you remember that you weren’t out with him right now.

“It’s fine, Y/N. You don’t have to pay me back, today’s my treat, remember?”

You do remember, as the last time you guys talked about grabbing lunch was the day that you and Eric fought as he walked out the front door to cool off. That night you had called Sunwoo to see if the latter had arrived at his best friend’s apartment, in which he did, making you relieved as he had asked you for your side of the story when Eric had fallen asleep in his guest room. You had fallen asleep to reassuring words from him that the two of you would figure it out in the meantime, but you couldn’t help but wonder why Sunwoo’s words left a warmer feeling in your chest more than usual knowing he still has yet to meet his soulmate.

Was it normal?

“Sunwoo, what’s your soulmate bond, if you don’t mind me asking?” You say while crossing your arms on top of the table, curious as to what the latter’s bond was because he had never once mentioned it in your presence whenever you two had met.

“It’s the red string.” He replies, suddenly growing nervous at how you were already asking about his bond, unsure of how he was going to go at it now that he was caught off guard at your sudden question about it.

“By any chance, do you know where they might be?” You ask, now even more curious about the possibility of him finding his soulmate pretty soon if he was connected to his soulmate by a string that is known to appear if they’re closeby, however Sunwoo knows that he shouldn’t bluntly say it.

“I do know where they are, but I found out too late, because they already found their soulmate that isn’t me.” He grimaces, noticing how the sudden curiosity that was in your eyes reduces to now an expression that left questions in both your minds as the two of you now sat in complete silence.

And maybe the both of you realized something that you shouldn’t have known, because the rain outside that was downpouring became louder than the ringing that was in your ears from your pounding.

Maybe this was a mistake.

You were now living in constant fear, but not for the reasons that you had thought it would be because of. It was another rainy day, but this time in mid-August as the colors of your life around you almost matched the grey and gloomy clouds that were storming above you. The sound of your heart constantly pounding in your chest was making you nervous every time that you woke up next to Eric, unsure of whether or not the breaking point of your relationship will actually end.

You couldn’t even remember when you had last exchanged I love yous.

Your stomach churns at the mere thought of an empty feeling that used to be so filled with love and care, but now all you could ever feel around Eric was the constant worry of whether or not he still loved you. Did he even still love you, you think to yourself as the reasons why the colors draining from your vision erupted in your mind.

They would only leave if one of you had lost the love for the other, but you didn’t want to think that Eric didn’t love you anymore. You knew that he always loved everyone, platonically and romantically in your case, with his entire being to the point where he would always be willing to put their needs before his own. Could it be any different that he stopped loving you as the distance between you both grew deeper and farther?

The sound of the front door being opened and slammed shut makes you look away from where you were working on a new menu for the cafe, only to see an upset Eric walk straight past you and into the kitchen as you were suddenly confused at the sudden act.

“Is everything okay, Eric?” You called out to him quietly and just as the words had left your lips, he reappeared from the kitchen with an exhausted look on his face before speaking up.

“Can we seriously not do this tonight? I’m really not in the mood to argue or talk about it all.” He snaps and you felt taken aback from the sudden anger that was clearly evident in his words and at the tip of his tongue as you crossed your arms in front of him to stand your own ground.

“What’s your problem-”

“You, you’re my problem and I hate it.”

The three words that left his mouth leaves a heavy feeling into the atmosphere as the feeling of your heart grew heavier by the minute. There were definitely words that were waiting to be said as the two of you stared at the other, one with frustration in their eyes and tears filling the other. However, you weren’t sure what else to say, because you had never thought that you would suddenly hear him say that you were a problem to the burdens in his life.

“What problem am I to you, then, if all I’ve been doing is try to save the dying relationship that we’ve been avoiding?” You press, already hearing the rising tone of your voice from the fact that you were growing hurt from what he was saying, unsure where all of his thoughts had come from but you were also almost sure of where it was going to go, and you wanted to wait for the right moment to ask him.

“Everyday when I wake up next to you, the colors from my life start to drain and I know that it’s the living guilt that I created for the both of us-”

“Then when did you stop loving me, Eric Sohn?”

It’s silent again as his throat suddenly becomes dry at your question, his frustrated expression from earlier suddenly falling short as his eyes were now starting to avoid your pained ones. He knows he had started the fire this time around, not knowing how to deal with the almost monochrome vision that he had been experiencing the last few months, but he couldn’t let it go if he were to lie to you about when he had first stopped loving you, because that night was when he felt it that you also stopped loving him as well.

“The first downpour, when I gave you those flowers.”

Neither of you talked as you felt your heart pound even louder than it was earlier in your chest, but you weren’t even sure what else to say when you suddenly think of all of the fights that have piled up and climaxed to this exact point. The signs were all there, and you felt as though you were foolish enough to not realize that it wasn’t even healthy to stay knowing that there was something wrong in the first place when you first noticed the first wave of colors vanish.

Rather than saying anything, you grabbed your phone from where it was sitting on the couch and put on your shoes before leaving past the front door with a slam behind you. Despite the fact that there was a heavy rain outside, you didn’t care as you felt like you were being suffocated if you were to stay in that room with him any longer, and you allowed for your legs to let you run to wherever they wanted you to take you to.

That place somehow ended up being Sunwoo’s apartment after running in the rain for almost half an hour.

Your hand was raised to knock on the door, the thought of him possibly being busy past your mind as he opens the door with a confused look on his face, until he realizes that you were shivering drenched from head to toe. After dragging you inside, he takes it upon himself to grab some xtra clothing and blankets so that you could dry off, but he was concerned at the way that you had stood in the middle of his living room with no words leaving your lips to explain why you had run in the pouring rain.

“I think me and Eric just broke our soulmate bond.”

With those words hanging in the atmosphere of Sunwoo’s living room, there was a broken sob that already slipped past your lips as your knees buckled from beneath you, making you kneel with your head low crying with your arms hugging yourself. You were definitely feeling the immense pain that came with the slight sever of your soulmate bond and you weren’t sure what was even worse, the fact that you might never have another soulmate again or the actual heartbreak itself.

“I-”

“Can I wash up in your bathroom, Sunwoo? I don’t want to get sick in your own home.” You mutter almost inaudibly, not wanting to talk about it with him when you notice how he nods just slightly, before handing you an extra towel and the spare clothes that he had earlier for you to wear.

By the time that you were alone in the bathroom with your thoughts in the shower, you could feel the tears from earlier still stream down your face, but there was nothing else except for a numbing pain that came with them as you washed up. You hated the feeling of the heartache that came along with the fact that the person you had thought was your soulmate wasn’t the person, and now you weren’t sure what else to do.

It was when you finally dried yourself off and got dressed that the little bit of color that you once still had suddenly became monochrome and your heart sank into your stomach. A life that was once filled with color, that you were so used to in the past few years was now so easily gone as you were now greeted with the shades of blacks, whites and greys again, and you thought that maybe it was finally concluded that your relationship from fate was finished.

You walk out of the bathroom and head back to the living room to where you last saw Sunwoo, but it sounded as though he was in the middle of a call with someone, making you wonder who might’ve been calling since it was close to midnight. It wasn’t until you had gotten closer that he finished up the call and made eye contact with you, however there was a solemn look on his face that made you feel uneasy, since you had never once seen him in this scenario where he had looked like he was hit with bad news.

And it was.

“Hyunjae called from the hospital,” He whispers quietly as you noticed that there were tears in his eyes this time around, his phone clutched tightly in his hand and you could feel a lump in your throat with newly fresh tears that were already threatening to leave your eyes once again.

“Eric passed away in a car accident.”

A little over a week passes by.

You were currently collecting your thoughts and leaving the funeral home where Eric’s funeral was being held, heart feeling heavy as you were slowly walking back to your car in silence. There were many things that you wanted to say to his family, ones that made you want to apologize a million times for not being enough for him, but you also have heard his side of the story from Hyunjae the night that it all happened, because he was on the phone with Eric seconds before the accident.

There was something that made you feel sick as you sat in the passenger seat of your car, waiting for Sunwoo as you noticed something out of the corner of your eye; a speck of color. You weren’t sure how it could’ve gotten there as you were pretty convinced that the universe wouldn’t be able to give you another soulmate so soon, and why would they when you had lost touch of all color as soon as Eric passed?

The sound of a car closing beside you makes you turn to see Sunwoo, who had the keys in his hand, in which he was already looking back at you with a curious, but also concerned look.

“Are you okay?”

Those three words felt heavy like a lump in your throat as you wondered whether or not you should answer it with the utmost sarcasm that you can spare, or the truth. In the last week of mourning, Sunwoo had always been the one to check up on you despite the fact that he had also been mourning in his own time, the loss of his best friend feeling unbearable, but he didn’t want to go through the pain alone.

It was cruel of the universe to take him away from you, Sunwoo thinks as he remembers holding onto your shaking figure the day that Hyunjae had broken the news to him and his heart aches at the memory of you looking helpless. He hated how much you were in pain for the last few days, where it was hard for him to get you to eat meals and sleep during proper hours when you weren’t crying, but he knew that you also felt bad for having him around; yet somehow he didn’t mind it.

“I can see a bit of color today,” You whisper quietly, turning away to look out the window of the car and it stops, just in time as there was a slight hue of red that you were able to see from the traffic light that makes you not want to meet his eyes.

Sunwoo’s heart was now pounding in his chest and there was a feeling of dryness that was suddenly in his throat, words caught up in it as he wasn’t sure where he could even step in to tell you what he had been dying to tell you the last few months. The red string on his finger felt like it was tightening by every second that he was with you, but he wasn’t sure how you would feel about it, especially after the events of today.

However, it was you who had started to connect the dots, seeing as though the more that you have been spending time with him, the more hues of warmer and eventually cooler colors start to show up again in your vision. The only thing was that you knew about the various types of bonds, where the same person would not get the same bonds twice for different people, making you question what the actual bond might be.

“Sunwoo, I want you to tell me the truth… Are you also my soulmate?”

The light turns green and Sunwoo drives again, this time the tension that was between you both growing heavy as you were waiting for his response, when all he wanted was to buy some more time. He didn’t want to tell you the truth now, not like this as you were regaining color into your sight again, but it was almost like when you had asked him that question, his pinky had burned from the string that made him almost flinch at the pain it had inflicted onto him, which was why he had pulled over to the side of the road so that you can talk, without any other distractions towards any of you.

“Are you able to see where my red string ends?” He whispers to you quietly, in which you shake your head in response, wishing that you could in order to ease your stumbling thoughts, but there was nothing as he takes a couple moments to collect his thoughts and takes a deep breath to himself.

“I’m sorry for not telling you the truth when we first talked about it, Y/N.”

There was a small smile on your face, one that was on your face that expressed both pain and almost relief that his soulmate was nearby and that you weren’t going to be soulmate-less. You remember the one day that you had lunch with him when he mentioned who his soulmate was, but you didn’t think that it would be you, making your stomach churn at how guilty you felt knowing that you actually had two soulmates that existed right in front of your eyes.

“Sunwoo, you don’t have to be sorry, it’s not your fault that all of this happened. If it was meant to be, then I guess everything leading up to now was meant to happen…” You breathed out, feeling tears prick at the corners of your eyes when he suddenly reached over to hold your own hands into his, “But I’m going to need some time to just let this sink in. I want to be sure that it’s you, okay?”

He nods in response, feeling almost as if a weight had lifted off of his shoulders and there was the urge that he was holding back to just hold you into his arms right then and there in his arms. Time, he thinks to himself as he knew that it was also a big block as to whether or not your possible relationship could continue to blossom into something more, which was why when he had started the car back up and started driving again, he can only think of the best thinking to make sure that you two could keep going with what you had, and to him it was to bring laughter and teases to make you at least feel better for the time being.

“Sunwoo, what if we did this-“

“We say that we’re soulmates right now and kiss.” He teases, making you look at him with an amused look but shake your head in response with your hand still in his as you wonder where the sudden burst of energy had come from despite the moment that you had earlier.

“Sunwoo, no-“

“We officially become soulmates eventually,” He jokes and watches how there is a glint of sparkle in your eyes that he hadn’t noticed present before when he glances over to look at you, but he doesn’t push it as he decides to just keep your distance temporarily, “You’re not saying no, love, you have to say something.”

You thought about it for a moment, thinking that maybe playing the long game with him wouldn’t be too bad as you knew that maybe this was a sign that could test to see if he was actually your soulmate. Colors may be one thing, but would you also eventually see the red rope that he has been seeing the past few years of dealing with it?

“How about we play the long game?” You propose, looking at him with a small smile as he raises an eyebrow at your words of waiting a bit with him, “We see how the next year or so goes, and if more color appears on my end, then we’re soulmates. If not, then we can just overthrow the universe and see what happens then.”

“So it’s not a rejection then?” He whispers hopefully, suddenly feeling nervous at the fact that you weren’t opposed to the idea of him being your soulmate and feels his heart pound louder in his chest as he watches you nod in response.

“I think I knew back then that I was connected to you at some point, Sunwoo, with or without the red string visible to my eye.”

There was a shaky breath that left your lips as you finally felt a sudden weight lifted off your chest, seeing as though you were somehow finding your own way to move on from Eric’s passing. It wasn’t ideal, considering it was by testing the waters to see if Sunwoo was actually your soulmate, or if it wasn’t real since you weren’t even sure of what was happening in the moment, but you knew something was there.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks almost teasingly, and there was a smile that coats your lips, one that you haven’t been able to express in the past few days but somehow with him it almost came naturally because of how calming his aura came to be around you.

“Maybe during another downpour, we’ll see what happens.”

“Hey Y/N, thanks for letting me head out early it means a lot.”

You look up from where you were currently cleaning up behind the counter of the glass case that was once filled with delicious sweets, giving Haknyeon a small smile in response as you waved him off.

“It’s not a problem, Haknyeon. Besides, you better not be nervous because anybody who says no to marrying you will regret it.” You teased, watching the male stand at the closest table to the counter of your co-owned cafe blush a bit at your words.

“Yeah but… it’s raining hard out there tonight. Will you be able to get home dry?” He asks in which you nod in response, just as another individual has entered right on cue like it was meant to happen.

“He’s here to take me home, just go propose to your soulmate already.” You grinned, watching as Haknyeon gives you a soft smile and leaves before he can get caught in the rain tonight.

With an amused look on the latter’s face, your eyes met with Sunwoo’s, who had been standing against the counter that you were currently cleaning. There was an umbrella in his hand, along with a familiar jacket that you must’ve forgotten to take with you, but he brought it anyway because he knew that you would’ve gotten cold from the rain.

“You could’ve gotten sick, you know. That wouldn’t be good on any of us.” He teases and you give him a playful look, not wanting to be bothered with the jacket when in a split second, you felt his arms wrap around your waist swiftly, chin on your shoulder as he was swaying both of your bodies side to side.

Two years have passed since you remember talking about the effects of a downpour with him, the sight of it making you feel various emotions as you stared at the red string tied at the end of your pinky of your left hand that was almost parallel to the ring on your ring finger on your right. After opening up your new co-owned cafe with Haknyeon months after you and Sunwoo decided to play the long game, the rush of colors came along with that new success as you knew that it was for all the times that you have spent with him.

Every downpour and daylight that led to the very moment made you feel grateful that you made the decision to play the long game, because the promise ring that came with the downpour the night you both kissed felt like sparks. You probably would never forget how realizing that he was your soulmate felt, because it was the same electricity and love that overwhelmed you like you had when you first found out about Eric.

“Okay, let’s go home you big baby.” You giggled, shaking your head at his playful banter and took the jacket from his hands over your shoulders, before grabbing your keys to lock up the cafe for the night.

The two walk into the city with peace on your mind, the gentle downpour highlighted perfectly the illuminated city buildings that were around you both as you walked to your shared home together, and you wouldn’t want to have it either way. Whether it was a day with rain or sunshine, you knew that it couldn’t be too bad as long as you had someone with you with their hand in yours.

“Do you think he’s watching us, from up there?” Sunwoo suddenly mumbles softly, your hand in his as the sound of the soft drops of the rain hitting your umbrella resonates from on top of you guys and you hummed in response, nodding as you smiled and kissed his hand gently.

“I think he’d be happy that his best friend is the one to save me from being soulmate-less for the rest of my life, instead of someone that I could be with that might hurt me.”

“I don’t think I could ever want to intentionally hurt you, Y/N, or in any other life. You know that, right?” He says, joking slightly to relieve the small tension that was starting to rise, but you knew it was both of your worries that were talking and you couldn’t blame him.

The tomorrow is unpredictable and you weren’t sure what could happen to any of you by then.

“I know Sunwoo, and I know that you love me, like I love you.” You reply and suddenly you are pulled into his arms, hands cupping your cheeks as he places a soft kiss on your lips as you kiss him back and smile against his own.

There were small bursts of giggles that came from you at the flustered feeling of him spontaneously kissing you, but the shimmer in his eyes said elsewise as you knew that even though the entire universe was held in them, they were only meant for you to see. A galaxy that was meant to be lost in, but somehow you knew right where you were as you were both standing underneath a shared umbrella on a night of downpour, but this time it was flushed with colors and vibrant illuminations that made you feel ignited especially with him.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

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bvidzsoo · 4 years ago

Text

Late night Drifts

Author: bvidzsoo

Warning: physical abuse (nothing descriptive); swearing

Pairing: Hansol Vernon Chwe x female reader

Word count: 18, 157

Summary: Being top of your class was everything your parents have ever wanted. You were the perfect daughter, however, it was only them who were happy. Your life was stressful and filled with sleepless nights studying, just to please your parents. Until one day you discovered racing, and realized, it was the only way you could unwind all the accumulated stress. And it just so happened that one day you overheard your classmate, Vernon, talking about an illegal race taking place that night. You knew it was your cue, so with rolled up cash left on his desk, you made it clear you were challenging him. He wins = he gets a date / You win = he teaches you how to drift.

A/N: Hello, hello lovelies! And off we go with the first part of this series! I tried out something different this time, I hope it’s not weird and it’s still good, I’m a little nervous about it tbh. All the sentences in italic are the reader’s direct thoughts! I’ve never written in second person before so uhm...I hope it’s still fine. I hope you’ll like it and please let me know your thoughts. If there are people interested, I could even start a Taglist, I guess! Enjoy now!

Series M.List ~ Next Part

When younger, you’d quietly complain to yourself about having to wake up early in the morning, around 6 am, just to have breakfast with your parents; but as the years passed it just became a routine. You weren’t bothered by it anymore, sometimes, you’d even wake up earlier than you were supposed to. Like today, at 5:30 am, your eyes were wide open as you stared up at the platinum white ceiling of your huge bedroom. You knew it was the anxiety making you feel like this, the fear of having to face your father and mother today seemed to be more intense than usually, after all, you were getting your grading sheet at school. You hated days like today, you hated getting your grades. It was horror to sit through school, anxious, only to return home to get yelled at by your father, because once again, you failed to score higher at English than Vernon. Vernon Hansol Chwe. He was your nightmare at school. It wasn’t what he did directly to you, because there were almost little to no incidents, it’s what he indirectly made you go through. You hated him, but didn’t at the same time. It wasn’t his fault, and you were aware of that, but you couldn’t help the glare or sudden anger that engulfed you whenever you looked at him. If he only wasn’t as good at English as he was, all the torment from your parents would’ve been non-existent.

You were the perfect daughter, the one every parent wished to have and every parent praised whenever they met up with your parents and you. You were perfect, in their eyes, yes. You always listened to what your parents said, you didn’t talk back or disobeyed them, and most importantly, you always pleased them and got high grades. It would’ve been a shame if you didn’t, your father was a scientist and your mother a doctor. They wanted you to become either this or that, but you, you didn’t know. You had no idea what you actually liked doing, you never really had hobbies or free time to try out different things like any other normal kid did while growing up. That is, until, you stumbled upon some abandoned race tracks and saw a woman in her car going at a high speed, drifting around the curbs, and sporting the happiest and most careless expression you’ve ever seen on someone’s face. It struck you, you never felt like that before. You wanted to feel like that so badly. You just ran away from home, with the excuse that you joined a new study group to help you out with Chemistry, but the truth was that you just needed air and time away from your overwhelming parents. You weren’t even supposed to be in this part of the city, people could smell from miles away that you were rich and just by stealing your purse, they’d make millions. But you didn’t care, because in this part of the city, it seemed like people only stared at your for what you looked like, without too judgmental looks on their faces. It was weird, but refreshing. After the woman stopped, got out of the car and ruffled her long hair, you gathered all your courage and walked up to her, and asked her to take you on a round with herself. She was reluctant, but once she saw the desperate look in your eyes, she obliged and you were inside her car, screaming your lungs out at all the sharp and harsh turns she took. It was scary, but freaking awesome. You felt high on adrenaline and when she stopped the car, her name being Lexa, you begged her to teach to drive like that. Your driving instructor never taught you about speed, but this woman seemed to know it all. Lexa was reluctant, but she complied once again, when she saw the desperate look in your eyes. And that is how you became obsessed with racing, cars, and chasing that adrenaline that made you feel free and careless. It was the only hobby you had, the only thing your parents couldn’t control in your life, simply, because they didn’t know about it. And you preferred to keep it that way, knowing well the repercussions if they ever found out. But for you to be able to attend the events and races, you needed a good car. So, when you finished last year as first in your whole high school, your father granted your wish and bought you a Vaydor G37. The car was expensive, but freaking awesome. You knew you’d be better than half of the amateur racers, even though, you were one too. But for now, that didn’t matter, as you played with your fingers in your lap, waiting for the maid to place your breakfast in front of you. You could feel your father’s sharp gaze on you, but you ignored it as you glared at the table. Your mother hadn’t joined the table yet, that’s why you weren’t eating yet.

“John told me he had to change the tires to the Vaydor,” You looked up to meet your father’s gaze, knowing he hated it when you didn’t, “It’s the third time this month. Explain.”

You gulped, but kept your expression neutral, he can’t find out, “I didn’t pay attention when I got them changed and instead of the summer tires, they put on the winter ones. That was the first time. Second time, I got a puncture while I rode back home from school, a screw was left on the road from the new construction site and I didn’t know. And uhm…I’m not sure what was wrong the third time, but the vibrations coming from the tires felt wrong, I thought…it would be best to get them changed.” But the truth was that you raced too hard and burned out your tires, all adherence gone, which made it impossible for you to ride around the streets with them.

Your father didn’t say anything as he looked at you with a hard expression, tying to decipher if you were lying or saying the truth, “Safety comes first, Y/N, don’t forget that.”

“Yes, father.” You muttered and looked up at your mother as she walked in with a wide smile. Your father looked at her and his eyes instantly turned soft and he waited until she sat next to him, to press a kiss to her cheek. He was only ever like that to her, kind and lovely, never to you. You honestly thought your father hated you because you weren’t born to be a boy, like he so desperately wanted. Yet, he never tried to have another child with your mother, you figured he had enough of you and just didn’t want to bother with raising another kid. Your mother looked at you just as the maids finally walked in with your breakfast, placing the plates in front of you. Your stomach rumbled quietly and it made your mom chuckle as your father took the first bite, and then you both followed suit. It was the same old breakfast: toast with boiled eggs, a few slices of tomato and butter. Sometimes you’d get hot cocoa, if your father was in a good mood, but most of the time you were served with orange or apple juice. Today, water with lemon was served and as much as you were craving the taste of oranges, a little switch from your usually boring routine was nice, even if so small and almost insignificant.

“When will you know your grades?” Your father asked again, voice hard and you bit your lower lip as you lowered your knife and fork.

“Today, actually.” You answered, trying to hide the tremor in your voice, but it was pretty obvious.

“Great, I will make sure to come home early then.” He said and the grip on your knife tightened as you tried to hide the anger and fear mixing together in your stomach, hating the words your father said. But it made your mother squeal as she smiled at him brightly.

“That’s amazing news, honey! Let’s go have dinner, shall we?” She was the only excited one, your father actually started glaring at you, and you realized it was because you were glaring at him. Sometimes, your control over your body slipped and you did things subconsciously.

“Yes,” Your father spoke, turning his head away from you to look at his wife, “Let’s go have dinner, Y/N should—”

“I have a study group at 18:00 today, I won’t be able to join you, I’m sorry.” You interrupted your father, not caring right now that he hated being interrupted by you, as you let your parents know in a hurry that you weren’t available today. And actually, you weren’t even lying. You really did have to study for English, you hated to say it, but you were feeling uneasy after your last exam and thought you could work on it. A new guy from America showed up two weeks ago, DK, and when you heard he offered to help out those in need, you knew you needed to sign up. Vernon was from America too, that’s why you never could beat him, he was better as he was fluent. Your mother was American too, but she never bothered to teach you much English, either too busy with work or with your father. She wasn’t a bad mom, just neglectful sometimes.

“You study so hard, my dear.” Your mother’s arm extended over the mahogany table and you extended your own arm, letting her grip it, “How about this…if you get a good grade for your English exam, we go on a small vacation this weekend?”

That actually sounded wonderful, you couldn’t help but smile, warmness filling your insides. You missed spending time with your mom, but of course, your father had to ruin it all.

“We shouldn’t…I can’t this weekend.” Of course, he couldn’t. The only important things for him were work, antagonizing you, and taking your mother on expensive dates.

“Honey,” Your mother let go of your arm to cup her husband’s cheek, “It’s not a crime if the two of us spend a little time together, it’s been long since we had a mother-daughter get-away, right, Y/N?”

You quietly nodded your head, hopeful that your father would let it slide this time, but of course, he wouldn’t, “If Y/N scores a 10/10, you can go.”

You gulped, hating how trusting your mother’s gaze was, how happy she looked, “Of course, honey, she’ll definitely get the highest score. She’s our daughter after all…”

Yes, unfortunately, I’m your daughter.

After breakfast you quickly got dressed for school, your uniform still warm from getting ironed a few minutes before you had to put it on. You hated wearing skirts to school, but you had no other choice as it was in the dress code. You fixed your hair and painted your lips a soft pink, smiling to yourself in the mirror. Not because you were happy, but because you didn’t want everyone to see how miserable you were. You didn’t have any friends; besides Yoona, you didn’t want any more rumors than the ones already circulating around you. They said all kinds of things about you, but neither was true. They weren’t necessarily bad, besides the one calling you a freak and saying you broke someone’s hand in your freshman year; you didn’t. But people weren’t very fond of you nonetheless and you didn’t want to add onto the list of why you should be more disliked than you already were. You knew the smile looked far from genuine, but it was better than nothing, it lessened the harsh expression of your face. It probably got like that due to your father’s constant pressure hanging over your shoulders.

The car ride was silent, John stirring up casual conversation with your father from time to time, as he drove you to school before driving your father to work. Your car was still in the car-service, actually, Jihoon got a new engine that you were more than happy to test out for him. He was the one who approached you, surprisingly, after your first won race. He said he liked your car and could smell the money from miles away; he offered to help out with your car if you raced on his behalf from time to time. You seriously didn’t need the money, but it sounded like fun and it was weird how impressed everyone was by Jihoon talking to you, so you accepted out of curiosity. It took you a month to realize he was part of the Lee family, being the eldest son actually, and that they owned the streets at night when racing. He truly was the best, both at racing and fixing cars. Sometimes you’d even drop off cash anonymously at his house, when you wouldn’t need it anymore, and you had a feeling he knew but stayed silent about it. Both of you knew that he needed the extra cash from time to time.

Your attention was brought to John when he stopped the car, unlocking the doors. You were parked at the front gates of your high school, you sighed as you grabbed the doorhandle of the car. Partially you were happy to be here just because you would be away from your father and mother.

“Y/N,” Your heart jumped to your stomach when your father called out your name, deep voice booming in the car, “If you don’t score 10/10, I will have to believe you are incompetent and unable to perform well in a private high school. If you don’t raise your score by the end of the semester, your name will be cut from the family tree and I will throw you out without a second thought.”

A cynical smirk appeared on your lips as you opened the door and turned to look at your father, “You can’t throw out a minor, father, unless you want me to go to the police and press magazines. I’m sure they are buzzing to know more about the mysteriously wealthy and handsome Mr. Seo, don’t you think?”

His jaw clenched and John gulped loudly, shaking his head as subtly as he could at you, as you hurriedly got out of the car. You never talked back to your father, you had no idea what came over you, but you felt so fed up with his threats. If only he knew cutting ties with him sounded like heaven to you. You didn’t care if you ended up on the streets as long as it was away from him, you were never hungry for money or greedy for it. You didn’t care about it, you just wanted love from the two figures who were supposed to raise you. Instead, one hated you and the other one was barely ever home.

“Have a good day at work, both of you.” You bowed deeply before closing the door of the vehicle, staring at the tinted window of the backseat. You waited until John drove away and you couldn’t see the car anymore. A strong gush of cold wind suddenly blew through the area and it made you realize that you were glaring at nothing, once again. You hated how little consideration he took of your feelings and how little he made you feel. Your father truly was the devil.

Yoona’s schedule was rather packed on Monday’s and Wednesday’s, so you couldn’t meet up with her during classes. Which maybe was a good idea, poor girl, you hoped she didn’t think you only used her to have someone to complain to, but you seriously had no one else to talk to. You loved Yoona and how open she was and ignorant to the rumors about you, she was always quick to shut others up. She was only a year older, yet she felt like a mother to you sometimes.

The day passed by incredulously fast and you made sure to take notes in each class, until it was homeroom class time. Your legs were bouncing up and down nervously and loudly as you tried not to bite your nails, a bad habit you were trying to get rid of. Usually, you weren’t this nervous, but your father reminding you of his threat this morning and your reckless answer made you realize if you indeed didn’t score 10/10 at English, you were truly fucked, and you hated the sudden ache of your stomach. It seemed like you were the only one so stressed out as your classmates kept shouting around you, joking and chatting, making your ears ring. All you could do was stare at the door anxiously, waiting for your homeroom teacher to enter this damned classroom already. But the bell didn’t even ring yet, it’s still break time, you sighed and bit your lower lip, trying to calm your nerves. You didn’t mean to, but your eyes fell on a boy and your eyebrows instantly furrowed. His right arm was resting on his desk, his right cheek on it as he slept. He looked so peaceful and carefree that it angered you more. How could he just sit there, sleep there, when you were about to get your grades? You knew he didn’t give a shit about his grades, yet he was always top of your class, breathing down your neck all the time. When you started high school, you never thought you’d meet someone almost as smart as you, and that you’ll be challenged. But Vernon…he just wrecked your life and made it a bigger hell than it already was, and tears almost came to your eyes as you couldn’t look away from his peaceful form. You were jealous and angry, wishing that could be you right now. As your eyes lingered on him, you realized, his cheekbones were high and sharp, almost hollow looking like. You hardly ever paid attention to guys, you didn’t have the time nor energy to put into them, but sometimes you caught yourself dozing off and staring at the back of Vernon’s head. He wasn’t special, far from it, he looked quite normal yet his beauty felt a little foreign, compelling. That was another reason to hate him for, and you never thought more of it, content with the current thoughts of him. You didn’t like him, but you didn’t deny that he was somewhat attractive either. Yet, your heart still started thumping quickly when Vernon’s eyes opened abruptly and made eye contact with you almost instantly, as if he knew you were staring. You averted your eyes and straightened your stance, refusing to look back at the boy, even if he continued staring at you. You never really spoke to him, you didn’t have a reason to, only greeted him in the mornings if you arrived after him…but you did greet everyone, after all. Your legs started bouncing again as Vernon wouldn’t look away and it made the hairs on your arms raise, your anxiety doubling. Why is he staring now? Does he think I like him or something? Maybe he knows I don’t like him? But your attention was brought back to the door as it opened just as the bell rang, and your homeroom teacher in walked. The voices in the classroom started dying down and even Vernon looked away from you, siting up straight in his chair. You were glad, you didn’t think you’d be able to ignore him for longer if your teacher wouldn’t have walked in. You donned out every voice that was still speaking, you even ignored your teacher’s usual speech about how grades weren’t important and that they didn’t actually reflect your knowledge about life…if only he knew what he was speaking. So, you just sat there silently, anxiously waiting for your sheet.

Which turned out to be more and more difficult as you were amongst one of the last ones, for once, making you hate the fact that your family name was ‘Seo’. You have successfully eaten three nails by the time your teacher called out your name and you raised from your chair, legs feeling a bit like jelly, as you rigidly walked up to his desk to take the sheet from him. Your hands shook and you hoped no one noticed, but when you turned to walk back to your seat, you were surprised to see Vernon squinting his eyes at you as he was watching you, once again. Did I draw too much attention onto myself by looking at him? This wasn’t the first time though, why is he suddenly so attentive of me? You ignored his burning gaze as you finally started walking back to your seat, gripping the sheet tightly in your hands. You were curios but also afraid to look. Vernon got his sheet a while ago and you tried to read his expression, but he only shrugged and placed the sheet between his notebooks, seemingly unimpressed. You were hopeful it was because he scored lower this time, but you couldn’t be very sure, he reacted the same way each time.

Finally sitting in your own chair, you took in a deep breath and opened the sheet, staring at the names of the subjects and then the grade next to it.

“Don’t forget kids, I tell you this each time, but I feel like saying this again. Grades don’t define us and you can be whoever you want to be in life, or do whatever you want to do, despite the grades on that paper—”

Your whole body ran cold as your hands started shaking hard, chest constricting as if your lungs stopped getting enough air to be able to function. Your eyes ran over and over again the same row, your brain refusing to acknowledge the information. English: 9,55. You hated what you were seeing, you hated what your teacher was saying, you hated how carefree and light everyone around you seemed to be, you hated Vernon’s gaze burning into the side of your head. You suddenly couldn’t bear sitting in that classroom anymore, it seemed rowdy and hot, your head started pounding painfully as you jumped up from your chair, knocking two notebooks and your sheet off the table. All the eyes on you made your chest tighten further and your eyes snapped towards your teacher when you heard him calling out to you.

“Miss Seo, is everything alright?” You really wanted to answer him, but when you opened your mouth to say something, nothing came out. Embarrassed and unable to take the looks you were getting by your classmates, Vernon’s confused gaze, you stepped around your chair and took off, uncaring of the repercussions. Your teacher called out your name once again, sounding more worried this time, and you glared at Vernon when he still didn’t look away, knocking onto his table on purpose, which made his pencil case and notebook fall to the floor. And with that, you were out of the classroom and running towards the girls restroom, hearing footsteps following you hurriedly. You knew your teacher sent someone after you to make sure that you wouldn’t do anything reckless, and it made you want to cry that your own teacher was more worried about your wellbeing than your own parents. You hoped the person realized you ran out because you wanted to be alone, and that they wouldn’t follow you inside the restroom, and when they actually didn’t, you broke down crying in front of the mirror, turning on the faucet to silence your sobs a little bit. I don’t want to go home.

You hated the looks your classmates were giving you after your breakdown, but some were nice enough to check up on you. You didn’t like the attention and the fact that you had to lie to them, but it warmed your heart a bit that not everyone was heartless and mean to you. You were surprised to see your things neatly placed in your bag after you returned from the restroom with a girl, Hanna, who your homeroom teacher sent after you to keep you company until you felt better. You wanted to ask who did that, because you wanted to thank them, but decided to stay quiet and just lay low for the rest of the day as rumors of you already spread through school like wildfire. You hated it, but you tried to ignore them…and Vernon too. He shot you a questioning gaze after you got back to class, but you acted like he wasn’t even there. Your gut was telling you that it was him who gathered your stuff from the floor and placed it back into your bag, but why would he do that? You were never very nice to him, and you even knocked his stuff off on purpose when you ran out. Fed up with your constant thoughts of Vernon and what others would say now about you, you blocked everything out and hurriedly gathered your things once the final bell rang, signaling that school was over for the day. You were glad that you could finally leave this place, but your stomach ached when you remembered you had to return home, to meet your father. Running away right now sounded like the smartest thing to do, but once you left your high school, you stopped and looked up towards the sky. The sun was high up and shinning down, creating a warm atmosphere and you looked around to observe that everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Kids were laughing and hanging onto their friends as they groaned about how hard school could get, others kids were excitedly talking about what homecooked meal their mothers made, and some were just hurriedly leaving through the gates. You smiled, but it was a sad smile, because you never experienced any of those feelings. You wished your mother would be at home, waiting for you with a homecooked meal, and that your father would arrive earlier from work and praise you for your grades, deciding to take the three of you out to the arcades. But those were dreams you’d never experience, and rather than continuing to hurt yourself with such fantasies, you took off with a sigh. You followed the path that lead to the iron gates of the high school and bowed your head a little to greet the gatekeeper, who was happy to see you. Not many kids were respectful toward the old man, but you didn’t think lower of him just because of his job, sometimes you’d sneak cookies from home and share them with him. As the weather was a lot warmer than in the morning, you took your scarf off and gasped when something hit your shoulder. You were expecting someone to be picking on you, but when you turned your head and looked at the girl leaning against the stone wall, you let a chuckle fall from your lips.

“I told you to throw your garbage in the trash cans, Yoona.” You scolded the older girl, picking up her cigarette butt to throw it into the nearest trash can later.

“Yeah, whatever,” Yoona rolled her eyes, lighting another cigarette, “What the hell happened today? Your crazy classmates wouldn’t stop talking about how you stormed out after you got your grades.”

You grimaced as you leaned against the stone wall next to your friend, “I didn’t get a 10/10.”

Your answer was direct and Yoona sighed, glancing at you as she puffed out the smoke of her cigar. She knew about your parents, but not the whole truth. She only knew about them being obsessed with your grades and that they were very controlling and harsh to you. You didn’t dare tell her the other things, afraid she’d do something about it, getting you in more trouble.

“Oh, Y/N…” Yoona’s expression was sad and you melted into her hug as she put her arms around you, on the verge of crying, “If it feels too much later on, call me…or come to the races with me, you don’t have to compete or anything. Just be there.”

You hummed and circled your arms around your friend, feeling a bit better as Yoona’s familiar perfume entered your nostrils, “It’s a Wednesday, you know I can’t go out…and I have an English tutor now, we are meeting later for our first session.”

“Oh, really?” Yoona’s interest peaked as she finally pulled herself away from you, patting your cheek, “Do I know him?”

“Maybe, it’s this new guy from America…calls himself DK.” You muttered, puckering your lips at the hilarious name he went by. Yoona’s expression hardened and she scoffed as she finished her cigar, not looking very pleased.

“You know him?” You asked curiously, Yoona not being one to dislike someone.

“Of course,” She rolled her eyes and pushed off the stone wall, dragging her leather jacket tightly around her body, “He’s in my class. He’s very annoying, tries hard to befriend everyone and won’t shut up. He’s not even smart, most of the time only says stupid things—”

“Okay,” You raised up one hand to stop Yoona from rambling, throwing her an amused smile, “What did he do to you that you don’t like him?”

Yoona just rolled her eyes, displeased by how much you knew her already, “He’s all up in my business, won’t leave me alone after he heard me talking to my friend from the U.S. Fucking idiot…”

You started giggling loudly, making Yoona glare at you, but your laughter was contagious and she ended up giggling too, “You’ll figure it out, Yoona.”

“Yeah…hopefully before Johnny decides to smash in his nose.” Her tone turned sour and you gave her a pitiful look, knowing her relationship with Johnny hadn’t been the best lately. Yoona just sighed and you patted her side, reassuring her that you were there for her if she needed someone to complain to. The sudden sound of engine roaring caught your attentions and Yoona turned stiff, looking to the road, where a black car pulled up. The window rolled down and Johnny’s face came in view.

“Speaking of the devil…” You muttered quietly, making Yoona smirk at you.

“Hello, ladies.” Johnny greeted the two of you with a charming smile and Yoona looked at him before back at you.

“Want us to give you a ride home?” You appreciated her offer, but you didn’t know if your dad was already at home. He didn’t mind Yoona very much, he knew her parents, but he hated Johnny and actually forbid you from meeting up with him or with them when they were together. You didn’t want to test the waters furthermore today; you had already done enough in the morning and now with your grade too.

“No, no,” You shook your head quickly, declining her offer nicely, “You can go. I have to pick up some books either way, you don’t have to bother with me…”

Yoona nodded and took off towards her boyfriend’s car, but when she opened the door, she turned back to look at you and mouthed, “Liar.”

You chuckled and waved at them as Johnny gave you a nod before pressing a strong kiss against your best friend’s lips, leaving her with a sour expression as he rolled the window up and took off, the engine of the car creating disturbance to the pedestrians. You looked down at the other cigarette butt Yoona dropped and picked it up with a sigh, dropping it into your pocket, where the other one was. She never listened to you when you told her to throw them away into a trash can, so it became by now a routine to pick them up and throw them away yourself. You took off once again, headed home for real this time, your stomach churned nervously as you played with the cigarette butts in your pocket. Your parents knew you didn’t smoke, they stopped checking up on that since you turned sixteen, so you weren’t afraid of smelling like it. Besides, they knew most kids your age smoked and that it could just easily get into your clothes and hair when you walked by. You sighed at the thought of your parents and tried to enjoy the sun on your skin, welcomed after the cold winter you had. It was hard to walk home, because you were anxious, but the pleasant weather made you slow your usual long strides as you passed the corner of the high school and turned onto the next street. You took the two cigarette butts between your fingers and threw them into the trash can on the side walk as you walked by it, your scalp feeling itchy. Sometimes you made your ponytail too tight and it left your scalp sore, so you quickly undid the tight hold, releasing your long black hair. You thought of cutting it, it was slowly nearing the middle of your back, but your mother said a feminine woman needs her long hair, that it’s precious, and you should never wear it too short. That’s why your hair always reached your scapulas or even longer. I always wondered how I’d look with short hair…it can’t be that bad, right? Your thoughts were interrupted when you suddenly became aware that someone was walking right next to you. You became stiff and ready to speed up, uncomfortable, but when you stole a glance at the person walking next to you, your feet came to an abrupt stop. So did the person, who was scratching his nape awkwardly, looking at your guiltily.

“Uh, sorry.” Vernon’s voice was loud here, the cars and people walking by you were being loud, “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t scare me.” You answered him too quickly, body stiff as your eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, still…” He cleared his throat and you became curious, he never really spoke to you directly, unless you were paired up for a group project during class, “I just wanted to ask you…”

You raised your eyebrows, curiously looking at Vernon, a little annoyed that he was stalling, “What?”

“Are you alright?” Your eyebrows furrowed at his question and you glanced around, feeling uneasy. Why is he suddenly so curious about how I feel? It’s really not his business.

“I’m fine, why?” You snapped, crossing your arms in front of your chest in a way to show him you weren’t too fond of this conversation.

“Just wanted to check up on you.” Vernon muttered as he kept looking at you, the sunlight lighting his features. His skin had a warm glow and he was squinting as he was standing facing the sun, his brown eyes were lighter than you had anticipated them to be.

“Well…” You cleared you throat, feeling a bit flustered, “You didn’t have to.”

Vernon hummed and nodded his head a little, biting his lower lip, an action which caught your attention, “I know…you ran out of class and you didn’t look too good. Just wanted to make sure you’re better now—”

Your inhale was sharp and it alerted Vernon as your eyes snapped back up to look him in the eyes. Your heart was beating like crazy and you knew your face turned hard as Vernon gulped; you took a step to lessen the distance between the two of you, “Stay out of my business, Vernon, you already make my days a nightmare as they are.”

Vernon’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, clearly taken aback by your threatening tone and sentence, not having expected such hostility coming from you. After all, he never did anything wrong to you…directly. He looked lost for a second, you felt bad for being so mean to him, but before he could form a sentence, you turned and rushed away, willing yourself to catch the green cross light, which would turn red by the time Vernon realized you were running away and would stop him from following you. Your heart was beating fast as you turned to look back, to see him standing at the cross dumbfounded, his eyebrows furrowed as he raised one hand as if to ask you to wait for him. You were pretty good at reading people; you had anticipated his moves. You shook your head at him and took off, Vernon losing sight of you in the mass of people walking on the sidewalk.

You were studying in your room when you heard the front door open and slam closed. Your hands suddenly started shaking as your mother’s laughter carried through the big apartment you lived in, your father’s voice next as he answered her question. You dreaded this moment, you knew it was coming, but you were hoping it would come later. You knew your father was expecting you in his study, so, you rose from your desk and pulled your hair in a low ponytail. You glanced at yourself in the mirror and hated your expression; anyone would be able to see how scared you looked. You started glaring at yourself, trying to stop this horrible feeling brewing inside you, as you pointed a finger at yourself in the mirror.

“Stop it!” You snapped at yourself quietly, “Whatever happens, happens. Walk out there with your head up and don’t say anything unnecessary!”

When you heard your mother’s heels clicking getting closer and closer, you quickly grabbed the sheet and hurried to your door, opening it just as your mother raised her knuckle to knock.

“Y/N!” She exclaimed with a wide smile and placed her palm on your cheek, “Looking pretty today, how do you feel?”

You remained expressionless as you looked at your mother, jealous of her good mood, “Fine, I’ll go see father now.”

“Oh, right!” She exclaimed again and stepped out of your way, shooing you away, “We are supposed to leave in thirteen minutes for our date, don’t keep him up! Also, we should look for some vacation cabins in the mountains for our get-away—”

“We are not going anywhere!” You snapped and turned your head to look at your mother, jaw clenched. How could she not pick up on my mental state? How could she not read my expression when I’ve been hers for seventeen years? When she was my mother?

“Oh…” She cleared her throat, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, “Why…”

“I didn’t get the grade.” You muttered and sighed, taking off towards your father’s office. It was on the other end of the apartment and you had time to even out your expression and calm your erratic heartbeat for at least a while. When you stopped in front of the big, black, door you took a deep breath and ignored your mother, who was headed to their shared bedroom, and knocked on your father’s office door. There was a grunt coming from inside and you knew it was your cue to walk in, so, you opened the door with more force than needed and walked in, leaving the door open. He hated it, but you felt like you’d need to escape tonight, it made you feel safer. Your father glanced at his door and then at you before leaning back in his chair with a sigh. You didn’t sit as you came to a stop in front of his desk, just reached your hand out for him to take the sheet. He nodded once and took it, eyes running over the paper. Your heart started beating quickly once again and you clasped your hands behind your back to stop yourself from biting your other nails you didn’t get to in school. Involuntarily, your left foot started tapping against the floorboards of the office and you gulped as you looked straight ahead when your father’s eyes fell on you.

“What did I say?” His voice was hard, sheet crumbled up in his hands. Don’t answer him, let him scream at you, “I thought I was clear.”

When he fell silent you didn’t know what to do or say, so you just let your head hang low, avoiding eye contact with your father, “You are telling me that you’re unable to get a 10/10 at English? When your mother is American?! Is your brain perhaps too little for you to comprehend what you have to learn?! Are you dumb, Y/N?!”

That felt like the last straw. I’m not dumb, I’m more competent than you once were! Your eyes snapped up to meet your father’s, your glare melting into his, “How am I dumb? I got a 9,55, father! And I got a 10/10 at everything else! I’m top of my class and high school! What more do you want?!”

Your voice broke at the end of the sentence, and your body shook, you have never raised your voice at your father. He looked shocked for a second, but in a second also, he was up and storming around his desk to reach you.

“You ungrateful scum!” He shouted loudly, his deep voice made you jump, “I feed you! I give you money! I buy you clothes! I put a roof over your head! And this is how you pay me back? By talking back and thinking you are better than me?!”

“When did I ever say that—” The words died in your throat as the back of your father’s palm slammed into your cheek harshly. Your eyes widened as your head snapped to the other side, tears instantly sprung to your eyes. You remained like that, unmoving and quiet, fighting with your tears. I’d rather die than cry right now. Your father scoffed and you felt the sheet hit your head as he threw that at you as well, as he turned away from you.

“You have three months to fix your mistakes, Y/N. After that, I will not see you anymore in this house.” You gulped at his words, straightening once he walked away and you knew he wouldn’t hit you again. You remained in front of his desk as he walked towards his door, about to get changed for his date with your mother. A broken chuckle left your lips as you looked up at the ceiling, one single tear rolling down your cheek. Better make his life hell in those three months!

“I can’t wait to leave this fucking hell!” You hissed, unaware that your father didn’t leave the room yet. He hesitated taking his next step as he looked back at you with furrowed eyebrows, taken aback by your words.

“I wish I was never born into this fucking family.” At this point, you didn’t even care if he was still standing in the doorway or not, it just felt good to speak your mind aloud. You wanted to shout at the top of your lungs for your parents to hear what you had to say. You wanted everyone to know. I hate them. Your father gulped as he took one final look at you, his jaw clenched, before he shook his head and walked away with a scoff. All he could think of was that you were a spoiled, ungrateful brat. Meanwhile, all you could think of was the day you’d finally be able to run away. In three months, you’d turn eighteen, school would finally end, and you’d leave this shithole you hated with your whole heart. Screw them both, who gives a fuck about them anyways?

That night you went to bed crying, which resulted in having a puffy face once you woke up. Your study session with DK wasn’t very successful and once he realized you just weren’t in the right state of mind to study, he dismissed you and set another appointment for next week, saying your English was almost better than his and that you didn’t even need tutoring. You knew that, but you were hopeful that if DK helps you out, on your next exam you’ll get a 10/10 just to spite your father before you move out. While crying, you have decided, that no matter what, in three months you were out of that place. You didn’t want to stay there anymore, you’d rent out a small apartment downtown, find a job and finish your last year of high school. You knew your mother would secretly support you and give you enough money to survive for months, but you didn’t want anything that was theirs anymore…especially their money. When you looked in the mirror to get ready for a new day, all you could do was sigh. Your eyes were big and red and you knew you’d have to spend half an hour just pouring cold water on them to make the swell go away. But when you pulled your hair in a bun, you knew the greenish-bluish bruise on your right cheekbone wouldn’t go away with cold water, you had to put on makeup. This is why you didn’t tell Yoona exactly everything about your family, especially your father, she would’ve reported it without a second thought. You disliked your parents, yes, but they were still your parents. Right now, they were everything you’ve got and you could make them suffer in different, much more effective ways. You decided to let your hair rest freely today, knowing it would offer more cover for your cheek, even if the expensive foundation and color corrector did their jobs fairly well. At breakfast you didn’t speak at all to your parents and you refused to ride with John and your father to school, taking the bus instead as you were running late a bit to be walking. You were in a bad mood all day and everyone could see it, even Yoona, who was a lot more cheerful than yesterday. She promised to hang out with you at lunch break and you were thankful, you felt like you needed to be in her presence today. Vernon was becoming plain annoying with his constant staring and his attempt to talk to you in one of the short breaks you had between classes, which alerted everyone from your class. You threw him a harsh glare and he understood that you wanted nothing to do with him, so he went back to his desk and left you alone for the rest of the day.

You were fixing your makeup before the lunch break arrived, your geography teacher let you off early today, as you stared into your small pocket mirror. You pulled your hair behind your ear as you took out the little cushion and started tapping it lightly against your cheekbone, not much of the foundation had come off, but you wanted to be sure. Especially since you were having lunch with Yoona. As you stared at yourself, your eyes looking lifeless, your ears picked up a loud voice greeting someone from your classroom. You looked up, curious, and your eyes fell on Vernon’s table. A darker blonde-haired boy, quite scrawny looking with dirty clothes, was leaning against Vernon’s desk. He looked younger than the two of you, maybe he was your age, but his complex gave him a boyish look. Vernon looked panicked as he stared at the boy, pinching his ear and making the boy cry out. A few of your classmates glanced at them, but no one seemed as invested and curious as you were. Vernon looked like he got caught doing something illegal, it definitely picked your interest. In your mind, Vernon was this perfect boy, perfect student, whom never did anything bad. Seeing that look on his face, you placed your mirror down on your desk and sneakily continued to watch them.

“Hyung, I’m just here to tell you something important!” The young boy exclaimed annoyed, earning a few more confused looks as he wasn’t wearing your high school’s uniform…or any for that matter. Is he not in school? He seems very young however…maybe he just skipped classes today? Vernon’s eyes widened and accidentally connected with yours and you quickly looked down, absentmindedly flipping through your long-forgotten fashion magazine. You felt his gaze remain on you for a few more seconds before it was gone; you peaked up at them to see the younger boy hunched over Vernon’s desk as he was articulately whispering something. Now, that made you even more curious about what they were speaking, and you looked back down at your magazine. A model you didn’t like had their picture on the page, so, you gripped it and tore the page out, crumbling the paper up. There, this should do for a good excuse to pass by them. You cleared your throat, feeling like you were about to commit a felony, and checked if anyone was watching you, but no one was. You hummed to yourself and looked around, trying to look innocent as you started slowly walking towards Vernon’s desk. Your heart started beating faster as your grip tightened on the paper and you slowed down even more once you could hear the boy’s high-pitched voice.

“Hyung, I’m not kidding! They said they’ll pay really well!” Pay well for what? Your eyebrows furrowed as you became intrigued, eager to find out more.

“I’m not racing against Jun anymore, why can’t you understand that?!” Vernon snapped quietly; his eyebrows were furrowed as he was glaring at his desk. The young boy sighed loudly and you actually stopped walking, standing just two feet away from them. Jun? Vernon is racing? Is this what I think it is?

“Come on, hyung!” The young boy whined and you jumped when something crashed in the back, the paper falling from your grip, “It’s tomorrow night, on a Friday, your mom won’t be pissed if we go racing—”

“Shut up!” Vernon’s voice was hard as you made eye contact. Your face must have said it all because Vernon didn’t look pleased, you heard something you weren’t supposed to. You cleared your throat and walked to the trash bin, feeling the little smirk creep onto your lips. Vernon races? How come I’ve never seen him before? Your thoughts became a whirlwind as you turned to walk back to your desk, eyes falling onto Vernon. He was glaring at you and suddenly you felt powerful, like you were in control of this situation. Vernon was racing Jun? Last month I beat Jun…that means…I can finally beat Vernon at something. You were suddenly pleased and even your mood got better, something you weren’t expecting to happen anytime soon. You didn’t have to think twice as the bell rang signaling it was time for lunch break. The young boy hadn’t left yet and it looked like Vernon was scolding him as you reached inside your backpack and felt around it. You gripped your sandwich first and then the cold rolled up material. You took both items out and your lips widened into a big smirk as your eyes fell on Vernon, who was busy talking to the boy. This is it. I can finally show him he isn’t better at everything. He’s not rich, I have a Veyron, it doesn’t matter what car he has, I will beat him without a doubt. You took off, gripping your things tightly as you were headed straight towards Vernon’s table. Him and the boy stopped whispering when they felt your presence behind them and they turned both to look at you. You slammed the big roll of cash on Vernon’s table, making their jaws drop as the young boy looked back at you as if you grew two heads out. You felt powerful and proud, so, with a wink directed at the young boy you brushed past him to find Yoona and enjoy your lunch with her. You knew Vernon understood your message.

Classes passed by quickly and you were buzzing to get out of school, for once not even having thought of your parents since the incident with Vernon. You wanted to talk to him, but not at school, you didn’t want your classmates to start more unwanted rumors about you or Vernon. You might dislike him, but you didn’t want to drag him into unnecessary drama. So, you told Yoona that tomorrow you were going to the races and she was excited, telling you she’d be there too with Johnny and his crew, and that she’d cheer for you. She was proud of you and amused at the same time, she knew you disliked Vernon, so she understood how much this meant to you. It was childish, but Yoona didn’t judge you for it, even cheered you on, she could see something was wrong today. So, when you left the school gates, you walked down the street after you promised Yoona that she could drive you home tomorrow, and you turned the corner. You knew Vernon walked this way to get home, so you leaned against the stone wall of the school fence and took a deep breath in, suddenly confused why your heart was beating so fast. Am I nervous because I’m about to see Vernon? No, that’s stupid, I don’t have a reason to feel this way around him. You stood up straight when Vernon rounded the corner and his eyes fell on you, narrowing dangerously as he approached you. When he stopped in front of you, he remained silent and you rolled your eyes, opening your mouth to speak.

“I’m sure you know what I meant by that…” You trailed off and Vernon nodded wordlessly, “I’m challenging you to race.”

“I know.” Vernon nodded again, his voice seemed to be a lot deeper right now, and you didn’t even realize it when you blushed.

“I heard some rumors…” You started, trying to remain confident under his sudden intimidating gaze, “About a guy called Vernon who drifts better than Lee Seungkwan, is that you?”

A smirk appeared on Vernon’s lips and your eyebrows furrowed when your heartbeat picked up again, suddenly you felt hot standing under the sun, “It is me.”

You didn’t like the look on Vernon’s face, you felt like he knew he was making you flustered, so you took a step to be closer, “Well then, here’s my proposal…I win, you teach me how to drift. You win, I’ll go on a date with you.”

I can’t believe this is the proposal I’m making, I sound stupid. How do I know he wants to go on a date with me? Now I’m just blindly assuming and insinuating that he might like me, oh no…Your cheeks warmed up again and you hated the way Vernon started laughing, his mouth opening and showing his teeth.

“How do you know if I want to go on a date with you?” Vernon raised one eyebrow and you rolled your eyes, trying to mask your initial panic.

“Call it a hunch,” You answered back with a smirk, trying to fake your confidence that suddenly decided to disappear, “are you in or not?”

Vernon remained silent for a few seconds as his eyes ran over your face, his features softening. You bit your lower lip, feeling nervous all of a sudden as no boy looked at you like that before.

“I’m in.” He extended his hand for you to shake and you looked down at it, hesitantly shaking his hand. His grip was strong and warm, his palm surprisingly soft as it caressed yours, it was so much bigger. Your cheeks burned again and your eyebrows furrowed as you became angry at yourself and pulled your hand away, throwing Vernon a small glare. He seemed amused as you turned and stormed off, completely missing the smitten look Vernon was giving you.

You woke up feeling excited, which was a foreign feeling, as you usually dreaded having breakfast with your parents. Last night you tried to nurse the bruise on your cheek with ice and ointment, but the colors were still there and you had to cover it with foundation once again. You let your hair hang freely once again and once you were dressed; you went out to have breakfast. Your parents weren’t in the dining room, so you headed to the kitchen, surprising the maids, and asked them to let you have breakfast there. They were hesitant but didn’t try to argue with you when they saw the genuine smile on your face; they could see how your mood was strangely good today and decided not to ruin it. After that, you skillfully creeped around the apartment, making sure to avoid your parents as you headed for school, your long strides taking you to school quickly. Yoona and you got there at the same time so you asked her to take you to Jihoon’s car-service after school, she said she’d drive you home today after all, as your Veyron was ready to be picked up for tonight’s race. Vernon seemed to be smug as he offered you a few smirks here and there throughout the day, and when you returned from the restroom, you found a protein bar on your desk. Confused, you looked around and watched your classmates, who weren’t paying much attention to you. Vernon wasn’t in the classroom and you sighed, about to sit, when Hanna waved her hand at you. You raised your eyebrows at her in question and she just pointed at Vernon’s table before at the protein bar. You understood what she tried saying and with red cheeks you slumped into your chair, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Your gaze fell on the protein bar and just as you poked it annoyed, Vernon walked in with two of his friends and his eyes fell on you. You threw him a glare and hid behind your long hair, refusing to let him see the blush on your cheeks, I blushed enough yesterday. His ego didn’t need to be further fed. You found it amusing how sure he looked of himself, you knew he was convinced that he’d win tonight, but you also knew he’d be a sore loser. You haven’t seen many people with expensive cars at the races, even if the engine is the one that counts, your Veyron just naturally was faster and better than most cars they owned. It was why you were able to win so many races until now and why Jihoon approached you in the first place. He was excited to see the new engine he installed in action tonight, he would sell it for big money if you win.

Your parents were still out on their date when you left the apartment, you didn’t have to worry about them seeing you dressed ‘like a hooker’, as they called this style. It wasn’t even anything bad, just leather pants and a strapless crop top and your leather jacket. You wore your thick, plain, platformed boots so that you’ll seem taller but be able to drive at the same time. Once you got to the garage you smiled pridefully at your car as you unlocked it. You really loved the car; it was your most prized possession as it brought you many victories so far. Once you turned the car on, goosebumps appeared on your arms at the roar of the engine. It was humming loudly and it shook your car in the best way possible as you carefully drove out of the garage. You turned on the radio and chuckled when Yoona’s favorite song came on, rolling down the windows to let the chilly air of the night fill your car. You pulled your hair in a low ponytail so that it wouldn’t accidentally get in your face and disturb you, you were aware of what you did was dangerous. You were careful as you drove down the illuminated streets of Seoul, making sure you wouldn’t exceed the speed limit. Wouldn’t want to make your father hate you more and take your car away. You’d get there at least fifteen minutes earlier, and you’d lie if you said your stomach wasn’t whirling around due to nervousness. You gripped the wheel tightly as you shook your head, passing by a green light, trying to clear your mind. This really isn’t the time to be nervous about something that I will most definitely win. The engine change wasn’t very obvious, your car was actually a bit slower, but it still flew down the streets if you pressed the gas pedal. Jihoon assured you you’d definitely win, even with the slight change, and you promised to give half of the profit to him. Tonight, he was making good money, people would flock to him to buy this new engine which to them seemed like it was as fast as an original Veyron engine, people were easy to fool. You drove through downtown and past some warehouses, music getting carried to where you were currently, even though the meeting point was one block away. You slowed as you turned the next corner and shut the lights of the car off as the street was illuminated well enough by the lampposts but the reflectors brought by the people here too. The street you were on was a very long streets, on both sides were abandoned buildings, and cars were parked close to those building to leave space for the circulating cars, and people, to pass by. You honked softly and the mass of people in front of you started fleeing out of your way, creating a straight path for you to the start line. You slowly rolled by them, the loud music coming from different car speakers could be felt even in your car, you picked up on the slight vibrations. People who knew you greeted you with grins and tapped your turquoise car, becoming excited when they saw you weren’t about to park anywhere. They knew you were racing tonight and as you arrived to the start line, people started cheering your name. You started laughing as you turned the engine off and got out of your car, grinning at the people surrounding you.

“There you are!” Yoona exclaimed as she leaned against the front of your car, arms crossed in front of her. You chuckled and approached her, draping an arm around her shoulders.

“Did you think I’d miss tonight?”

“Nothing’s ever sure with you…” She was right and you rolled your eyes, having missed races not once because of your parents being home. They didn’t know what you did in your free time, but sometimes they’d forbid you from spending your Fridays out, even though you always said you were sleeping over at Yoona’s.

“Did you see Vernon?” You asked as you looked around, unable to see anyone familiar in the huge crowd around you. Butterflies in your stomach made you rub your tummy as you pouted and Yoona started laughing loudly.

“Don’t tell me you’re nervous?” Her eyebrows raised and you decided not to look at her, “And no, I don’t even know if he’s here. Maybe he chickened out—”

A loud roar of an engine made Yoona’s words unable to be heard and you whipped your head around, eyes falling on a red Honda Civic Type R. The windows were tinted and you couldn’t see inside, but you knew it was Vernon, no one else was racing beside the two of you for the next twenty minutes. Yoona’s eyes widened just a bit as you both watched Vernon get out of the car and you were confused when two blondes ran up to him squealing.

“Oppa!” They chorused and your face distorted into disgust as Yoona burst out laughing, leaning back as her head was thrown back. You looked at her, expression still the same, and it made her laugh louder and harder. Your eyes fell on Johnny, who was smirking, as he started approaching you, his eyes falling on Vernon.

“Brought along your Barbie dolls, eh?” He tapped Yoona’s thigh as he walked past, headed for Vernon. The two blondes clung onto Vernon’s arms and you finally looked at him, taking in his attire. He wore ripped jeans and a form fitting navy green blouse, a leather jacket keeping him warm from the chilly air. A few chains hung around his neck and his dark hair was pushed back. You were surprised to see Vernon dressed like this; you didn’t think his style would be like that. You’ve only ever seen him in his uniform and some loose gym clothes. You gulped and Yoona nudged you, eyes squinted.

“Stop staring at him, you’re making it very obvious.” She muttered as she leaned down as if she was about to whisper something to you.

“What?” You asked confused as you turned your head, Vernon just shook hands with Johnny, and you then looked back at Yoona.

“That you like him.” Yoona’s words hit you like a truck and you couldn’t help the very loud scoff that left your lips. Is she crazy? I like Vernon? Where did she get that from?!

“Did you take something before you—”

Yoona threw you a warning glare and you didn’t finish your sentence as you knew better, but your attention was back on Johnny and Vernon, it looked like they’ve known each other for quite a while as they talked casually.

“Taking her out for a tour?” Johnny asked with a grin as he placed his hand on Vernon’s Honda. Vernon nodded and untangled himself from the two blondes, a smirk appearing on his lips. Your stomach did a somersault and you gasped quietly, confused as to what that feeling meant and why you only ever felt so flustered around Vernon. Yoona can’t be right…

“Nah, I’m here to claim my prize.” Vernon’s eyes fell on you and your back straightened as you quickly smoothed your expression into a neutral one. You knew your cheeks were still burning, but it was so chilly outside, one could blame it on that. You chuckled as Johnny looked at you too, seemingly having realized Vernon was racing you tonight.

“I don’t know man,” He said with an amused smirk, patting Vernon’s back forcefully, “I’ve never seen Y/N lose before in that car.”

You couldn’t help but notice the slight envy that slipped into Johnny’s tone and it made you smirk; you always knew he wanted your car. He was pretty pissed when you refused to let him drive it, you weren’t about to let a lunatic wreck your precious car. If something happened to it and you’d had to tell your parents it was Johnny’s fault, you were sure you’d never get to see the daylight ever again.

“You’re still in, right, Chwe?” You raised your eyebrows mockingly and Vernon scoffed, opening his door.

“Why don’t you sit inside your car so that we get over with this?” You chuckled and pushed off your car, Yoona following suit as Johnny walked up to the two of you, grabbing Yoona’s nape. You watched as he stared her in the eyes, eyes narrowing the slightest at her, and Yoona’s jaw clenched as she waited patiently for Johnny to stop. You hated when he did that, tried dominating Yoona or got possessive to the point of hurting her, so you ripped your car door open and pressed down on the honk harshly. Both of them jumped and Johnny looked at you with a glare.

“Move along, dickhead, I haven’t got all night.” You snapped at him and he chuckled, releasing Yoona, who looked thankful as she pushed Johnny slightly back and walked away while shooting you a finger heart.

“Don’t crash.” You rolled your eyes at Johnny’s words and got in as he walked to the side where Yoona stood, circling his arms around your best friend’s waist. Out of nowhere, Jun showed up, holding a checkered flag. You closed your door shut and put on your seatbelt, melting into your seat. Vernon’s engine roared to life and you were quick to do the same, Jun having come to a stop between the two cars.

“You know the drill,” Jun shouted over everyone’s voice, “You’ve got 400 meters, whichever finishes first wins and gets the money.”

Vernon reeled his engine and you just smirked; eyes fixed on the checkered flag as Jun raised it. You always concentrated, how you start, is the most important thing. You can’t lose seconds and you have to be faster than the other one, it gives you already a very small but significant advantage. You gripped the gearstick and the wheel with your other hand, ready to shift it into drive. You hated how your eyes had to take a glance at Vernon and it annoyed you even more when you realized his eyes were on you. What if Yoona is right and I do like him? I do feel flustered around him. Isn’t it just because he makes me angry? A few days ago, I was convinced I hated him with all my heart. What is it that I truly feel for him then? Jun’s hand with the flag dropped and you shifted the gearstick just in a second, your foot pressing down the gas pedal. You didn’t look anywhere else as your car came to an abrupt start, the safety belt cutting into the exposed skin of your collarbones and your eyebrows furrowed as your car picked up speed in just seconds. Everything became a blur around you, all you saw was the finish line that was still far away, but you were getting closer and closer. You didn’t know where Vernon was, but having not seen him pass you, you believed he was still behind somewhere. Your stiff body almost felt relaxed, despite the contraction of your muscles to keep the car going in a straight line at such high speed, and your mind was silent. You didn’t hear anything, the radio was always off when you raced because you wanted to hear the engine, and your labored breathing felt almost relaxing. You felt in control and free, a small smile slipped onto your lips when you noticed Seungkwan standing on the side with a big checkered flag, flapping it around above him. You were close, just a few more meters. Your engine cried loudly as you pushed the gas pedal for another boost of energy, your car crossing the finish line before Vernon’s could. You let go of the gas pedal and hit the brakes, your car coming to a stop slowly but surely. People flooded around your car and your head rested on the head rest as you closed your eyes, surprised by how fast your heart was beating. Adrenaline always flooded your veins, but never this much. You opened one eye and glanced to your left, but Vernon’s car was nowhere. It confused you as you turned the engine off, undoing your seatbelt. People were cheering for you, your name leaving their lips as they tapped your car in congratulations, and you gripped the door handle to open it. Just as you pushed it open, it was pushed back closed and your eyebrows furrowed, until Vernon’s face popped up. He motioned with his finger to roll down your window and you did, still looking at him confused.

“What are you doing?” You asked, your voice loud, as Vernon threw the cash back at you, making it land in your lap.

“I lost,” His tone was hard and he looked displeased, “but you knew I would, so take your money back.”

You rolled your eyes and gripped the cash, raising it up between your faces, “I gave it to you regardless of the outcome, our deal was about something else—”

“I’m not your charity case!” Vernon’s voice turned harsh and you raised your eyebrows at him, finding it weird how pissed he suddenly was, “I’ll meet you tomorrow at noon at the abandoned sandy tracks half an hour from here. Don’t come with the Veyron, it’s not a car for beginners.”

You opened your mouth to snap at him that you weren’t a beginner, but Vernon turned around and stormed away, pushing people out of his way. You turned your head to see where he was headed, and you found his car just a few meters away from the finish line, 100 meter between yours and his car. What a dick.

The revving of the engine was a sign that you were doing something wrong and out of anger, you hit the brakes harshly, sending yourself and the person sitting in the passenger seat forward. Your heart was beating fast as you gripped the steering wheel with both hands, your skin melting into the material of the wheel. The seatbelt was cutting into your skin too and your jaw clenched when a chuckle came from your right. You knew Vernon was smirking in amusement, very pleased to see you fail once again. You thought you’d learn how to drift quickly and easily, but here you were, almost two hours later, barely being able to make one right turn. You didn’t know what it was that made it so hard, it couldn’t have been Vernon’s Honda, you’ve driven cars like his before thanks to Jihoon; you really didn’t understand what was the matter. I can’t believe I’ve been embarrassing myself for the past two hours. A sigh left your mouth and you glanced at Vernon, who’s right arm was perched on the windowsill and he had his smirk still on.

“You suck at teaching,” You had to say something to save yourself from further embarrassment, “That’s why I still can’t do it.”

It was so amusing to Vernon that he started laughing, his mouth widening and his teeth showed. Your heart only seemed to pick up its rhythm and your eyebrows furrowed as you harshly shifted the gear to start doing another round.

“Hey, hey—” Vernon was quick to notice your change of demeanor and your fingers tightened around the shift stick when he gripped your hand, “I think we had enough for today, Y/N…especially my car. I can’t have you burning down my brakes, sorry.”

“If you’d let me come with my Veyron you wouldn’t be here complaining—”

“And risk wrecking that car?” Vernon’s eyebrows shoot up and you looked at him, his hand was still on top of yours as if he forgot it there, “Hell, I bet your parents don’t even know you race…I for sure would bite my kid’s head off if I found out they raced with a car like yours—”

“Yeah,” You snapped, eyes blazing as you glared at Vernon, what does he know about me, “That’s why they don’t know. Let go of my hand now and tell me where to drive.”

Vernon gulped and if you weren’t so angry, you probably would have blushed at his reaction. He looked down at your hands as if he realized due to your words it was still on top of yours and he quickly placed it in his lap, clearing his throat as you looked away, “I’m quite hungry, let’s have lunch.”

“Just tell me where you live and I’ll call John to pick me up—”

“No!” Vernon’s voice rose a bit and you looked at him surprised as you were driving away from the abandoned race tracks, “I mean…come have lunch with us. My mom knows where we are and she’d be really pissed if I didn’t invite you for lunch…”

Your heart started beating fast again and you bit your lower lip, trying to ignore his words and the temptation to say yes, “I can’t stay.”

“Please—”

“No.” Vernon knew it was final and that he couldn’t try convincing you anymore, but he really wanted you to stay. He was amazed by you, truth be told. He didn’t know what was so attractive about you, because you might have been beautiful, but he never really cared much about looks. Something about the way you would always look at him, he felt some hidden feelings that you desperately tried to hide from him and yourself as well. He knew you had something with him personally, he didn’t understand why, but he hoped one day you’d have enough courage to tell him. It was the only reason why he never tried getting close to you, he was afraid honestly, that you’d reject him in a very unpleasant way and he wanted to save himself from the heartbreak. He didn’t even know you raced, he never heard of your name being gossiped at the races, however, he did hear something from Chan, who worked for Lee Jihoon. But you weren’t the only girl who’s name was Y/N, he couldn’t just assume so boldly. As you focused on the road, on driving back towards the main roads, you failed to notice Vernon’s intense gaze analyzing your every movement, expression. Your bruise had faded nicely, after icing it non-stop when you were home, but you could still faintly see it. So faintly, that one would have to be really close next to you to see it, or so you thought. Vernon clearly saw it and just as he opened his mouth to question what it was, you sighed.

“Yesterday…” You started quietly, your muscles having eased now that you were just driving around casually and Vernon wasn’t touching you, “I feel like I insulted you…”

Vernon’s eyebrows furrowed as he watched you, pointing towards a street, to which you turned, “Insulted me?”

“With the money…I didn’t want to make it seem like I was—”

But Vernon didn’t want to hear it, because quite frankly, he wasn’t insulted at all last night. He was pissed, because you won. And that was only because he really wanted to go on that date with you. However, now that you’ve been alone in his car for almost two hours, he didn’t seem to mind it that much, “I wasn’t insulted, Y/N. I know you are rich and that I have less than you, but it didn’t mean anything to me.”

Your eyebrows furrowed and once again followed Vernon’s instructions, which lead to a quiet side of the city, “Why were you so angry then?”

“I was frustrated, not necessarily angry.” Your lips pulled up into a smile and you glanced at Vernon.

“I probably should have warned you I drive a Veyron—”

“I heard Jihoon sold your engine.”

“It wasn’t mine. He bought it and wanted me to show it off so that he could sell it for more.”

“Smart.”

“I know.” You found yourself glancing at Vernon with a smile, which he returned, as he pointed towards a house at the end of the street. It was a dead end, and theirs was the last house. It looked normal size, white, and had a nice front lawn. You didn’t think Vernon was poor, but the quality of the house surprised you. It had a refreshing look and definitely looked cozy just from the outside. You parked the car in the driveway, like Vernon instructed, and turned the engine off. You both undid your seatbelts and got out of the car; your eyes glanced towards the house. The window on the second floor was opened and loud music was blasting through it. A smile had pulled onto your lips without realizing and Vernon cleared his throat to get your attention.

“That’s my sister…she’s a bit loud sometimes.” You nodded as your eyes fell on Vernon, who’s hands were in the pockets of his baggy jeans, it weirdly looked good on him. Vernon’s style surprised you. It looked really cool and was actually very fitting for him, now you realized. It would be weird seeing him now in his uniform, knowing his preference in clothes.

“I’ll call John—" But just as you grabbed your phone from your jacket, the front door opened and a middle-aged lady walked out, hands on her waist.

“Look at you two!” She exclaimed in English and your lips instantly pulled into a smile, her accent sounding an awful lot like Vernon’s, “I thought you’d never come home. Come on!”

Vernon grinned at his mother and took off, but you remained put, “Uh, ma’am I’ll be calling my father’s driver to pick me up.”

“Non-sense!” Vernon’s mother’s eyebrows furrowed as she stepped down a few steps, “Hurry up inside, I just finished the soup.”

“Ma’am, I really can’t stay for lunch—”

“Vernon, go get her!” And before you could disagree more, his mother walked inside, leaving the door open for you. Your eyes fell on Vernon and you shook your head, about to dial John’s number. I really don’t want to be here right now. My father is already pissed enough at me, I shouldn’t miss lunch today…especially since we are meeting with his business partners.

“If you don’t have lunch with us, mom won’t let me help you tomorrow or next week.” Your eyebrows furrowed at Vernon’s words and you looked down at your cellphone, hesitant to put it away. Would it really be so bad if I stayed? It’s just one lunch. Besides, I most definitely don’t want to meet Mr. Kim’s son, he’s too rude for my liking. You rolled your eyes and put your phone on ‘do not disturb’, putting it back inside your jacket’s pocket as you followed Vernon inside the house.

The house on the inside was exactly how you imagined it to be. Walls white with big windows to let the natural light inside and everywhere you looked, you saw family pictures. It seemed like Vernon’s mother really liked flowers too as you could find them in every corner of the house. There was a scent of homecooked meal and it smelled so much better than the one coming from your maids at home. It was a lot warmer inside than outside, so you decided to get rid of your jacket too after you left your shoes in the doorway. You’d usually wear flip flops at home, but when Vernon gave you none and instructed to just go straight ahead while he went upstairs, you didn’t say anything about it. You watched Vernon hurry up the stairs as you walked down the hallway, humming coming from where Vernon instructed you to head towards.

“Oh, good!” It was his mom, once you stepped inside the kitchen, the scent of homecooked food was stronger. The kitchen wasn’t very big, just enough for a few people to be inside, but when you looked to your left you noticed there was a dining room, the young boy from school was there actually. He was sitting on a chair, one foot up on the chair next to him as he watched something on his phone, picking his nose in the process. It was a sight you weren’t expecting, such a normal sight you never got to see at home, that it made you laugh. You actually started laughing so hard it alerted the young boy, who’s cheeks became pink and he shoot you a glare.

“Chan,” Vernon’s mom sighed as she glanced back to see what was so funny, “He was picking his nose again, wasn’t he?”

You only nodded as you tried to stop laughing, the boy actually got up and walked towards you with a small glare. You weren’t aware that Vernon had a brother, besides, this Chan boy looked nothing like Vernon or his mother.

“I’m Y/L/N Y/N by the way,” You spoke up as Chan stopped beside you, squaring you up with his eyes, as you watched Vernon’s mother.

“Yes, Vernon told me who he was going with. Wasn’t expecting a girl to want to learn how to drift.” Chan scoffed next to you as he offered you his hand once he was done taking your form in.

“Lee Chan.” You shook his hand and narrowed your eyes at him, “And Mrs. Chwe, I told you women like to race. Sometimes there’s more of them at the race tracks than men.”

“He’s not wrong.” You approved of his words, looking back at him, “You’re not related to the Lee family, right?”

“Do I look like I am?” Chan had a sharp tongue and you scoffed, watching him brush past you, “Let me put the plates, Mrs. Chwe.”

“You should be studying, Chan, dear.” Chan just rolled his eyes as he opened a drawer and pointed at the cutlery and motioned for you to take them. You grimaced at him but proceeded to help him out, it was better than standing awkwardly in the kitchen and doing nothing.

“Studying is a luxury that I can’t benefit of.” Your eyebrows furrowed as you walked alongside Chan to the dining room, setting the plates and cutlery on the long table.

“What do you mean?” You asked quietly, noticing one plate missing.

“I don’t have enough money to go to school, Y/N.” Chan answered with an impassive voice, but you couldn’t help and notice the yearning behind his words.

“How old are you?” You found yourself asking again, something tugging at your heartstrings. Am I feeling bad for him? He deserves to have part of education like everyone else. He seems like a quick-witted boy.

“Sixteen.” Chan muttered and brushed past you as he headed for the door of the kitchen. You looked at Mrs. Chwe as she brought the pot of soup to the table, still steaming as it had been recently finished. She had a sad expression as she heard your little exchange with Chan and it suddenly all made sense. He’s here because they are taking care of him. I don’t know his home situation, but if Mrs. Chwe took him in, it must mean that he wasn’t living well before at all.

“Vernon! Sofia!” You jumped at Chan’s shrill voice and Mrs. Chwe chuckled, taking a seat at the head of the table.

“Sit wherever you want,” She offered you a smile and you chose to sit on her left, the cushion was soft underneath your bum, “Can’t believe my son just left you to yourself, where are his manners.”

“It’s alright, Mrs. Chwe.” You reassured her, sitting patiently as Chan chose to sit across from you. You internally cursed and hoped that Sofia would take the seat next to you, but you didn’t have that much luck. As the girl came into view, she raced Vernon and jumped into the seat next to Chan, leaving Vernon with a glare directed at her. You looked at Vernon and tried to keep a neutral expression, knowing all eyes were basically on the two of you. His black hair was dripping still and he had changed from the clothes he was wearing earlier today. He wore black sweatpants and a tight white t-shirt, which made your heart beat faster. You never noticed that Vernon had muscles before and you were praying to all Gods that you wouldn’t blush upon seeing the way his t-shirt sat tightly against his chest.

“Finally,” His mother said with a sour expression and Vernon chuckled awkwardly, taking his seat next to you. You tensed up when Vernon’s knee knocked into yours underneath the table and Chan just randomly chuckled, making everyone look at him.

“Nothing, sorry!” He quickly dismissed it and greedily grabbed for the ladle to pour soup into his bowl. Vernon kept his eyes on Chan and the younger boy tried to mask his chuckle with a scoff. It was weird but you said nothing as this seemed to be normal for the other people sitting at the table.

“I’m Sofia!” Your eyes fell on the girl sitting next to Chan and you offered her a genuine smile.

“I’m Y/N.” She grinned back at you and stole the ladle from Chan, elbowing him when he filled his bowl to the brim.

“I love this soup, stop it!” He exclaimed loudly and scooted his chair away from the girl, throwing daggers at her.

“You won’t leave anything for us!” Sofia fired back and you sat quietly, your body once again relaxed. Vernon’s hands on the table kept clenching and unclenching and you stole a glance at him, he was watching his sister and friend’s banter with a glare.

“Stop it, kids,” Mrs. Chwe intervened and took the ladle from Sofia once she was done, “You always serve the guest first.”

“It’s alright, don’t worry!” You quickly dismissed her words, offering her your bowl when she raised her hand, “You don’t have to change your habits just because I’m here.”

Vernon’s mother smiled as she handed you back the bowl, “You seem to be the most well behaved here, my dear.”

Your cheeks became hot and before you could dismiss her words, Chan erupted into giggles, “Of course, Mrs. Chwe! Can’t you smell the richness? I could, even from miles away—” Before Chan could finish his sentence, he cried out and jumped a bit, glaring at Vernon, who was glaring at him back. You looked at Vernon and saw how his jaw was clenched and his mother sighed, taking her son’s bowl to pour some soup for him too.

“Rich or poor, Chan, in this house it doesn’t matter, yes?” Her voice was scolding and Chan grew smaller in his seat, as if he realized he wasn’t at his real home here and apologized quietly. Once you started eating your soup, you remained quiet and listened to the casual conversations from around. It wasn’t because you had nothing to say, it’s just that habits are hard to change, and at your house no one spoke while you ate…well, sometimes your mother would, until your father would reprimand her for it. You smiled softly when Sofia talked about her recent trip with her friends to a resort not far from the city and felt a bit bad when Chan confessed that he wouldn’t be going home this month either. You didn’t know his story, but it was obvious how much it bothered him that he couldn’t be there. Vernon answered his mom when he was asked something, but otherwise remained silent like you, stealing glances that you obviously noticed but ignored in order to stop yourself from blushing.

“Did Vernon manage to teach you something today, Y/N?” Mrs. Chwe asked you just as you finished eating and your eyebrows furrowed.

“He tried to…” You muttered and subconsciously threw a glare at Vernon, “But I didn’t do much.”

“You aren’t bad though.” You scoffed and whipped your head towards Vernon, for a second forgetting that it wasn’t just the two of you there.

“Saying that now to seem nice, huh? Who are you trying to impress?” Everyone remained silent at your snappy tone and you grew embarrassed, realizing you were acting out again. It was just getting to you. The atmosphere at the table, how nice everyone was to everyone, how Mrs. Chwe seemed to know her kids and didn’t even have to ask them because she already knew what bothered them. Even Chan was treated well and Mrs. Chwe was babying him, offering him more soup once he was done even though he probably couldn’t eat more. It was obvious that everyone was cared of and loved. Hearing Mrs. Chwe calling you ‘my dear’ wasn’t helping with the void you felt in your chest. It was making your stomach ache when you thought of going home after this, after the picture of a loving family was now forever imprinted into your mind. How were you not supposed to hate Vernon now? He isn’t just perfect at school; his whole life seems to be perfect. Everyone loves him and Chan even looks up at him, Sofia seems to love to tease him and no one seems to be always pressuring him. How am I supposed to look at him without envy?

“I’m sorry, that was rude.” You apologized quickly, realizing you’ve stayed quiet for too long.

“Don’t worry, my son isn’t perfect.” Mrs. Chwe’s words were so contradicting towards your thoughts about him, “Whatever misunderstanding you have going on, I understand. Just solve it quickly so that you don’t stay with a grudge.”

“A misunderstanding even I don’t understand.” Vernon mumbled underneath his breath and you looked at him, eyes widening just a little bit. Now you felt worse and you sighed, pushing your hair behind your back.

“Oh, dear!” Everyone looked at Mrs. Chwe surprised, she was looking at you with her eyebrows furrowed, “What happened to your face?”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you touched your face with both hands, looking at Vernon out of reflex since you knew him best from the table, to see if he could see something wrong. His eyes looked into yours for a second before they fell on your cheek. Your heart seemed to come to a stop before it sped up dangerously and you just cleared your throat.

“I’m clumsy sometimes,” It was a script you memorized a long time ago, “I have a cabinet in my bathroom that’s around my height and sometimes when I wake up, I’m dizzy and happen to run into it. That’s what happened.”

Everyone but Vernon seemed to buy it, Sofia even laughed, “You should be more carefully, why did you even put the cabinet there?”

“I wasn’t the designer of the apartment.” You joked with her, throwing Vernon a confused glance as his right leg was moving up and down fast, like when you were anxious. Chan and Sofia giggled as Mrs. Chwe stood to gather the bowls.

“Put some ice on it, it’ll go away.” Her voice was soothing and you felt like her, too, knew your story was a lie; but you decided to ignore it and thank her for lunch once again.

“When is Mr. Chwe coming home?” Chan asked as he stood to help Mrs. Chwe take the bowls to the sink. He saved your curiosity and you were happy that he asked before you could.

“I don’t know,” Vernon answered with a shrug, leaning back in his chair, “He took some extra shifts.”

“Yes, because you just had to buy that expensive car to race with.” Mrs. Chwe snapped from the kitchen and you looked at Vernon.

“I’ve been earning more money ever since, mom. You can’t say I’m not trying to help you.” Vernon got defensive, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Your eyes fell on the contracting muscles and you gulped, reaching for your glass to drink some water. Sofia smirked but looked at her phone when she saw you throwing her a questioning glance.

“As if we weren’t in debt before.” The woman sighed to herself, but everyone heard it, and the cash that Vernon threw back at you yesterday felt heavy in your back-pocket. He wasn’t a charity case, he said it himself, but why not give it to him when you seriously didn’t need it? You looked at Vernon and his eyebrows were furrowed as he sighed quietly.

“Thank you for having me for lunch, but I really have to go home now.” You spoke up and stood up, Vernon following your actions. Sofia shot you a pout but she waved as you walked to the kitchen, Vernon behind you.

“You should come more often.” Mrs. Chwe gave you a pat on the head and you bowed your head, waving at Chan, but as you went to step outside of the kitchen, you stopped. Vernon walked into you and your skin tingled as he grabbed onto your arms, steadying himself. You wanted to curse but focused on what you were about to say as you glanced back, having to look over Vernon’s shoulder. He was taller than you.

“Chan, ask Vernon to give you my phone number and whenever you have free time, call me if you feel like studying a little.” Chan’s mouth fell open and you winked at him, taking off again.

“For free?” Chan shouted after you and you chuckled, weirdly not bothered that Vernon was still holding onto you.

“For free!” You called back and Chan started loudly cheering, making Vernon sigh, “You should do the same, Vernon, the poor kid makes it obvious that he’d like to study.”

“You think I didn’t try doing that?” Vernon scoffed and finally released you as you went to pull on your shoes, “He’s stubborn and refuses to listen to me.”

“I guess my beauty is enough to give him motivation then.” You said cutely and Vernon could have sworn his heart stopped beating. You didn’t notice his sudden freeze up as you grabbed your jacket and phone from your pocket.

“Your beauty…” He muttered to himself as you sent a message to John to pick you up, his answer was immediate.

“So…” You looked back at Vernon, sneakily taking the roll of cash from your back-pocket, “We are meeting tomorrow too?”

“That’s the plan, right?” He asked, his voice sounding a bit chocked up and you ignored it as you nodded. Your eyes fell on the table behind him and your heart picked up when you realized what you’d have to do. You wouldn’t have done it, not in a million years, if it wasn’t your only chance to leave the money at him. Your heart started beating fast and Vernon frowned when he saw you closing the gap between you two. You grimaced to yourself as you let your left arm circle his torso, hugging him briefly. Your right arm extended and just as you managed to drop the cash onto the table, Vernon pulled you into himself. You gasped quietly and noticed how refreshing his scent was and the back of his t-shirt was still wet from his dripping hair that seemed only damp now. The hug didn’t last for long but when you pulled back, both of your cheeks were warm and you couldn’t look at Vernon.

“Uhm, see you tomorrow!” Not wanting to hear his voice and feel more flustered, you quickly opened the door and ran down his driveway, refusing to turn back around to watch him close the door. You could still feel his arms around you and how soft his clothes were despite his body being so firm. I think Yoona is right, I might like Vernon.

You couldn’t help the satisfied cry that left your lips as you took your forth successful turn, drifting just like Vernon taught you. You still couldn’t do it each time you tried, but this was the best you’ve done since you’ve been here so far. Vernon was proud as he gripped onto the board of the car, lips in a wide grin. He wasn’t bothered by how sharp your turns were, throwing him around in his seat even though he was buckled up, he was happy that you were happy. He’s never seen you with such wide smile before, and he was mesmerized. He never thought you could become more beautiful than you already were. Your heart was beating fast again as you decided this was satisfying enough to take a break, Vernon’s been complaining for half an hour now. You slowed the car down and stopped the engine when it finally came to a stop. You let out a breath and relaxed in the driver’s seat, feeling accomplished. You could finally do it; you were sure you needed more practice but you actually did it this time.

“That was pretty cool, Y/N.” You forgot you were with Vernon in the car and you became embarrassed as you looked at him, “Am I still a bad teacher?”

“It took me five hours in total to catch the hang of it, I wouldn’t tell anyone you’re very bright at teaching.” It made Vernon chuckle and you realized what he acted like in school was his real personality, he wasn’t faking anything like some people were. It felt nice to be around someone authentic and you found yourself staring at him. His black hair seemed to have wax on as it was twirled in locks and paired with the red sunglasses he wore it made him look very attractive. He had on some black ripped jeans and underneath his neon green oversized jumper he wore a white t-shirt, you could see the collar of it. When Vernon locked eyes with you, you quickly looked away and picked at the ends of your turtleneck; your knee-length skirt had ridden up a bit and was around your thighs, you’d have to pull it lower soon.

“I gave Chan your phone number,” You looked back at Vernon surprised, you didn’t expect Chan to actually accept your offer, “He said he’ll give you a call next week.”

“That’s fine,” You hummed and brushed your long hair behind your back, “The less time I spend at home, the better.”

You wished you didn’t say that, because it seemed like Vernon just remembered something and his eyebrows furrowed as his eyes searched your face. You did not forget to put on foundation today, so he couldn’t see anything wrong with your skin, but suddenly the area felt on fire. You hoped Vernon wouldn’t bring it up now that he couldn’t see it, but you were wrong.

“Why hide the bruise if I have already seen it?”

“I thought it wasn’t visible anymore, good you told me.”

“Wouldn’t want more people getting suspicious?” Your eyebrows furrowed and Vernon rolled his eyes, looking a little irritated.

“What happened?” You shrugged and sighed, trying to remain neutral.

“I told you yesterday, Vernon—”

“But it’s not the truth.” You rolled your eyes but Vernon’s burning gaze made you want to tell him everything. You didn’t know anymore which feeling was stronger: hatred or liking. But you wanted to tell someone and Vernon was willing to listen, maybe you felt like this because you knew Vernon wouldn’t directly go to the police like Yoona would.

“Everyone at school is jealous of me for being rich, for having everything I want and need. But I don’t have everything, Vernon. My parents don’t love, at least my father doesn’t, my mother barely spends time with me nowadays and the bruise—" You hated thinking of how you got certain bruises, your chest ached. You blocked the memories away and you didn’t think it would be this hard to say it. You were scared of how Vernon would react and what he’d think, would he see you differently? Vernon grabbed your hand and you became stiff, wanting to pull your hand away but keep it there at the same time. It was oddly offering you comfort.

“The truth is that—my father—he—hits me.” You muttered quietly and looked down at your hands, unable to look at Vernon. You didn’t want him to see the tears in your eyes, you hated being vulnerable in front of others. And now you were confused about what you actually felt for Vernon, it wasn’t helping. Vernon’s silence was making you uncomfortable and you glanced up at him, his jaw was clenched. He seemed fine, but his jaw gave him away. You knew he was angry and you sighed, pulling your hand away from his.

“Go to the police, tell on him.”

“No, I can’t do that. He’s still my father.”

“Do you even hear yourself?!” Vernon’s sudden raise of voice made you jump as you looked back at him surprised, “This isn’t a little disciplinary spank a parent does from time to time, Y/N. He’s abusing you!”

You didn’t need someone to tell you, you were well aware of that. You threw Vernon a glare and crossed your arms in front of your chest, “Thanks for stating the obvious—”

“No, don’t do that!” He snapped, undoing his seatbelt in his anger, to be able to turn towards you better, “This isn’t something that can be treated lightly, Y/N! You need to tell someone; he has to stop. He has no rights laying his hands on you, do you understand me?”

“Do you understand that I know but I won’t do anything?” You raised your voice as well, your glare becoming harsh, “If I want my life to be ruined forever, sure, I’ll go tell the authorities.”

“He can’t ruin your life for something he did knowingly that it’s wrong—” His words became white noise as you closed your eyes, trying to calm yourself. Vernon was the last person you needed lecturing from, especially since you were getting this treatment because he was better than you at one fucking subject. Your anger went through the roof and you snaped, unable to take his words.

“Shut up, it’s all because of you!” Vernon’s eyes went wide and he looked so confused, you felt bad for telling him that, “You’re better at English than I am, my father can’t stand that. I have to be best at everything. It’s why I could never stand you, unknowingly you made me hurt. And it’s a shit reason, I know, but it’s true…”

Vernon looked speechless until he started looking regretful and he grabbed your hand again, despite your glare, “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t apologize,” You scoffed, throwing him a look, “It’s not your fault. Don’t worry, I only have to put up with his shit for three more months. I’ll be moving out.”

“Does he know?” Vernon’s eyebrows rose and you scoffed again.

“Of course not. Why would I tell him? He keeps threatening me so I don’t see why I shouldn’t make his threats reality before he gets to proceed with them.” Vernon’s eyebrows furrowed as he thought and you raised your eyebrows at him.

“Come move in with us.” You weren’t expecting that at all and your eyes grew wide as you stared at Vernon. Move in with him and his family? That sounded weird, you could manage on your own too. It wasn’t that hard, right?

“I can’t, that house is already packed with you four and Chan spending his time there too.”

“Sofia would love to have another girl around the house, please?”

“Vernon, this isn’t something you get to decide. That house is your parents’ and I can’t show up unannounced, okay?” Your eyebrows rose at him and he sighed, knowing what you were saying was right.

“Fine, but think about it…” You nodded once and he took his hand off from yours, you uncrossed your arms, “Do you really hate me?”

You thought for a second as you watched him, not knowing how to answer him, because you didn’t know how you felt for him. You didn’t actually hate him, but you did envy him.

“I’m not sure how I feel about you…” You muttered and Vernon sighed, leaning back in the seat, “But I don’t think I hate you. I thought you sucked, but maybe you aren’t that bad.”

It made Vernon chuckle and when he looked over at you, your heart started beating quickly again and you blushed. If you constantly kept reacting like that it meant that you actually felt something more for him, right? Yoona must have been right, she never joked around with things like this one, and you bit your lower lip as the two of you watched each other quietly. You were always bold with others and merciless, not really caring if they got hurt by your words or not. You felt like you gave Vernon the wrong idea and now he might have been convinced that you hated him, which wasn’t true at all. You thought maybe you should be bold for once with your actions too and you cleared your throat, which made Vernon glance at you. He wasn’t making it easier but maybe if he saw you leaning in, he wouldn’t pull away in surprise. So, you leaned over the middle console and with your eyes on his lips, you tried closing the gap but Vernon was too far away. It would have been embarrassing if Vernon had not leaned in as well, pressing his lips against yours. It wasn’t as bad as you thought your first kiss would be, his lips were soft and you found that cute. It didn’t last for long either because Vernon seemed to be flustered as he stiffly pulled his head back, looking into your eyes.

“You might not be my favorite person in the world, but I think I like you.” You found yourself saying and Vernon chuckled, scratching the back of his nape as his ears and neck were red.

“Go on a date with me? Even if I lost the bet….” Vernon asked with a cheeky grin, looking just as flustered as moments ago and it made you chuckle.

“I made that bet because I knew you would lose, but sure.” It was time things took a better turn in your life and maybe Vernon was the starting point.

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sorryimananti-romantic · 3 years ago

Text

Mist | Choi San | Chapter 6

Pairing: Choi San x OC (Seohyun)

Genre: supernatural (ghost), romance, high school

Trigger Warnings: paranormal, death mentions, violence

Words: 14k

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my original character and the story. I do not own any gifs or pictures used.

Full story on Wattpad (don’t spoil here if you read there too)

chapter directory

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Seohyun woke up with a groan, her head feeling heavy. She opened her eyes, blinking as the events of last night came to her. San was no longer here though. She checked her phone, and there was a text from him, saying his parents had called him.

After a shower and a cup of coffee, Seohyun sat in front of the television, thinking what she was gonna do. It was Saturday so they had no school, and she'd caught up on her sleep. She wanted to go out, but it was risky. The ghost- that evil, evil thing could turn up anywhere. Plus, she had no idea where Gayoung and Youngjae were.

Seohyun bit her lip as she thought about solving this problem; there was no way this ghost would come to her senses with mere words. It didn't look like she had faith in god anymore too, so a simple exorcism would be difficult. So what could she do? She had never dealt with such a dangerous one before, someone who was hell-bent on killing her.

And this time, it made sense why the ghost wanted to kill her so badly. All the evil ghosts she'd encounter in her life had never had an actual reason to harm her except being angry at life and whatnot. But this woman; what she had said made sense. And if it was true...

She wished there was another mediator she could consult with. But there was the matter of it being an inherited-once-dead thing. She could consult with the shaman she knew. Maybe he could help her communicate with a wise old ghost who'd actually give her a few tips.

The ghost's words rang in her ears: Don't tell me you didn't know? When a mediator dies, there is a short time period during which there is no other mediator in the world. That's when ghosts can do whatever they want; trespass, interact with humans, and much more. She cursed the previous mediators for not making an account of their knowledge and findings. She made a mental note to write a mediator guideline for the next unlucky person.

Seohyun got up, deciding she'd go to the shaman herself. No point waiting; she wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. The shaman was not too far from where she lived. She would take a taxi, just to be safe.

Seohyun was wondering where those two siblings had disappeared off too. She had allowed them to come and go as they pleased; it was unusual for them to be gone so long. Seohyun reached the place where the shaman lived after 10 minutes, getting off and finding the doors locked.

"Just my great fucking luck," she sighed, going to the market right in front of that place and asking if they knew where the shaman had went. She found out he had moved recently. She mentally cursed herself for not keeping his business card with her; she would have to go home and check if she still had it. She usually made some other use of business cards, such as making airplanes and boats out of them. Her origami was going to be the death of her.

Seohyun was just calling for taxi when she felt her heart sink in, realizing the evil ghost was near. She quickly stepped into property instead of hanging around the street, but nothing appeared. Maybe she was going insane, finally.

After waiting for two solid minutes, she was about to sit in the taxi when she heard a voice say:

"I saw that pretty boy leave your house in the morning."

Chills ran down her spine as she finally met her eyes with the ghost. "And what of it?"

"I found it interesting that he has the sight. I was wondering how that could help me."

"What do you mean?" Seohyun paused- this was not happening.

"He can see me. He thought he saw me in the morning but I hid. So I, with the help of those two kids who were too scared to disobey me, led him somewhere. And if you are a decent human, you'd follow me."

"You're lying."

"Go ahead and check if I am," she countered.

With a wildly beating heart, Seohyun pressed call, once, twice, thrice. He was not picking up. She texted in the group chat if anyone had been in contact with San since today. And everyone replied they hadn't.

Seohyun sighed in defeat as she said, "Lead the way."

The woman howled with laughter, making Seohyun grit her teeth and want to strangle her, but she walked, taking her god knows where. Seohyun tried to ask if she really wanted to kill her, and if so, why wasn't she already doing it. Why wait?

They were out in a clearing, near the expressway where cars and trucks rushed in full speed. What was she gonna do, attempt a ritual? Seohyun didn't understand.

"Just tell me where San is. And don't even think about hurting me. You want me, you have me."

"Oh dear," the woman walked towards her, and Seohyun tried to keep her calm as she grew closer, circling her once before whispering in her ear, "I don't have you. Not yet."

Seohyun winced at her foul breath, the woman raking a nail across her neck, drawing out blood. "I can't give you a mortal wound. I can only hurt you so much. That's why you mediators have it so easy."

Even if Seohyun's neck was on fire from the pain, she felt a spark of hope in her heart. That would mean she could run- she could escape.

"But that doesn't mean I can't do it indirectly," the ghost smiled, baring her brown teeth, and it was the evilness in her eyes that made Seohyun gasp as she realized.

She had been stupid- but she had no guarantee that San was safe. That Gayoung and Youngjae were safe. She couldn't run, not exactly. The woman flicked her hand, and Seohyun winced at the sound of a car crashing. She turned sharply; the car had hit the truck. The car had crashed the other way, but the truck-

It was tumbling and was coming right for her- unnaturally.

Seohyun forgot about everything else and ran, but somehow the woman was able to control the movement of the truck. She jumped in an attempt to dodge, the woman was cornering her. She had no choice but to step on the road, but one of the speeding cars failed to dodge the crashed car and struck it, skidding across the road and hitting Seohyun with a tremendous force that sent her flying before her head hit the traffic barrier and everything went black.

The woman laughed even as she cried out in pain. She had emptied the last of her powers on this crash, and she screamed as she felt herself burn from the inside out. But Seohyun was surely dead- she had to be. If she was dead, this wouldn't happen to her.

The woman screamed one last time before disappearing into thin air- this time for good. But it was no good now. Seohyun lay unconscious on the road, bent in a painful angle as people surrounded her and called an ambulance. A student checked her pulse; it was growing weaker by the second.

Seohyun was rushed to the hospital as soon as the ambulance arrived; her heart flatlined once before she was revived again, having escaped death from a hair's breadth. She was put on hold for her surgery as they called her mother for consent.

Her mother had rushed into the hospital- face streaked with tears. She had only had time to touch her face once before she was taken to the operating room, and she sat on the waiting chair, motionless. Her friend, Aunt Yuri that Seohyun had always liked, had comforted her mother, making her drink water and relax a bit. All they could do was pray.

Seohyun's phone, which was now in Yuri's hand, rang. It was Yunho. Yuri picked the phone, inquiring if he was a friend, and when he assured her that he was indeed a close friend, Yuri revealed the accident to him.

Yunho had almost dropped his phone as he heard, terror washing over him as he realized it must have been the evil ghost's doing. He washed his face, sighing as he tried to control his trembling hands. He was not ready to lose a friend.

Yunho called and told each of their friends individually, keeping San for the last, frowning when he did not pick up. He decided to go to his home and check. Before he reached his home, he found San walking outside the house as if looking for someone.

"San, hey," Yunho rushed to him, "Why weren't you picking the phone?"

"I lost it, but then Gayoung and Youngjae admitted they had hidden my phone. I was just going after them; I don't know why they'd done so. What's wrong?"

Yunho bit his lip as he thought of how to reveal it to him. He told him then; Seohyun had been in an accident, and she was under surgery now. They weren't sure if she was gonna make it.

San put a hand to his head, shaking his head in disbelief. "Was it- is it because of the ghost?"

"Not sure," Yunho said, "But seeing how Gayoung and Youngjae hid your phone, it must be. Seohyun was trying to contact you all day."

"Shit. Shit!" San punched the air in frustration, his lip trembling. How had it come to this?

"Which hospital is she in? I need to go."

So Yunho and San took a taxi to the hospital, and Yunho kept a hand on San's trembling one the whole ride. He seemed intent to keep his calm. When they arrived, they asked the reception for Seohyun and rushed to the floor she was in. They saw two women right outside the operating room, and figured it had to be Seohyun's mother and her friend who'd picked the phone. They sat on a distance, and San put his head in his hands as they waited.

Yuri, who had noticed the two boys, came towards them, asking if one of them was indeed Yunho. "We're praying for the best, but the doctors say it's risky. You both should head home, this surgery might take a while."

"It's fine," San finally said, "I'll wait."

Yuri raised a brow but then nodded, saying she was going to grab some coffee for Seohyun's mother and she'd grab some for them too. After drinking and some comforting from both sides, having found Seohyun's mother fallen asleep, the boys decided to get some air.

They walked in the hospital garden which was pretty big, lit by several lamps, and some of the patients could be seen sitting or walking. San's eyes were on the ground; he was afraid if he looked up he'd cry.

Yunho patted San's back and he put his face in his hands, sighing. He'd never imagine this. And the way Seohyun had been last night, so scared, he should have known. The things she said, he should have believed it wasn't just her being paranoid.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa came along with Yeosang; the rest lived too far away and couldn't join at this hour. Yeosang looked visibly pale and he kept rubbing his hands as if he felt cold. Upon asking, Yunho told them she was still in surgery, and yes, her mom was here with a friend too.

They sat in the garden. Seonghwa had bought some sandwiches from home; he knew some of them wouldn't have had dinner yet.

"You should eat, San," he said, "We don't know how long the surgery is gonna be. It's no good if you're on an empty stomach." He handed him a sandwich and San halfheartedly nibbled on it. The rest of them were pretty much silent too, at loss for words. They found comfort in just being together.

After finishing, they decided to go up and check the situation and maybe go back home to sleep. San dusted his clothes as he walked, and stopped dead in his tracks as he heard a familiar voice call his name.

"San."

The rest of them paused, looking back at San, whose eyes were wide with terror. "What's wrong?" Hongjoong asked.

San dreadfully turned back as if not quite believing, and the water bottle he'd been holding slipped out of his hand.

It couldn't be.

In front of him was Seohyun, unscratched, smiling sadly.

She was a ghost.

-----------------

"Seohyun?"

San couldn't believe his eyes. Seohyun stood unscratched in front of him, but it was not her. It couldn't be. She was in an accident, how could she be in front of him like this?

A cry of pain escaped from Yeosang as he realized, covering his ears as if that could mean he was wrong. Hongjoong and Seonghwa looked at each other, and Yunho stepped towards San, stopping when he found him staring in the distance.

"How are you... here?" San managed to ask, walking towards her, but she took a step back, leaving San's hand dangling in the air. His brows were furrowed in a pained expression.

"I don't know, San," Seohyun said, smiling sadly. San went for her abruptly, and his hand went through her.

"No... This can't be...." San's knees gave out and Yunho rushed to him, massaging his back as tears finally escaped his eyes. He sat down, his face in his hands, now almost touching the ground. Seohyun bent near him as if she could touch him.

"It's my fault," San sniffed. Yunho wiped his eyes, looking back Hongjoong- pale with shock, Seonghwa clinging to him, holding Yeosang's trembling hand.

"It's not your fault. It's that witch's fault. And you have to listen-"

"It's mine," San whispered. Seohyun bit her lip as she began to speak but was cut again as he said, "I'm sorry I didn't pick your phone."

"I know what happened, don't worry-"

"I'm sorry-"

"CHOI SAN LISTEN TO ME FOR A SECOND!" Seohyun shouted and San jerked, forcing his head up to face her. "I don't think I'm dead. Not fully, at least. You have to go and ask the details."

"What do you mean? You're a ghost, doesn't that mean-"

"Maybe not. Please do that."

San nodded, explaining to the others that there was a possibility she was alive, though it did not make sense to him. They started walking to the building, and Seohyun said, "And please wipe your faces. Don't show that you know anything. I don't want my mom to know that I'm a ghost, even if I'm dead."

San winced at that but did so, and they went upstairs in the waiting area, where Seohyun's mother was crying. Yuri was patting her back but looked okay. Upon seeing San and Yunho with other friends, she whispered something to Seohyun's mother, who casted a glance at them and nodded, and Yuri walked to them.

"Seohyun's alive for now. She's in a coma. The surgery was successful but this was unavoidable, so we can expect her to return sometime within 3 months or more, depending on Seohyun now. Can't say anything about that. You guys should go home. They'll let you see her tomorrow."

Seohyun sighed in relief despite herself, and the boys finally managed a smile and asked San if she was here. San nodded, looking at Seohyun. She smiled happily now for San's sake, but he was still gloomy.

"You're gonna smile back or I'm gonna haunt you in your dreams, Choi San."

San let out a short laugh. "I guess you can do that now. Let's go out."

They went to an empty street and San asked Seohyun what had happened. She told him how the woman had used San as a bait for her to call her out. San told her that Gayoung and Youngjae had only taken his phone, assuring her he'd been home all day. Seohyun assured him it was still not his fault, that sooner or later this would've happened.

"So where's the ghost now? If you're still alive, won't it come after you again?" Seonghwa asked.

"I'll have to ask around," Seohyun said. "I can actually teleport now. I'm gonna try and find Gayoung and Youngjae. They must have been pretty scared if they did her bidding."

"Stay safe, Seohyun," San said, and Seohyun brought her hand near his face as if she meant to touch him.

"I will. Don't worry. Go home guys, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, we'll tell the others too now," Yunho said, "They'll be shocked."

"San, please tell Yeosang to stop trembling. I'm alive!"

San looked at Yeosang. He still seemed pale and his hands wouldn't stop shaking. So he did what Seohyun would have done for him; took his hands in his own, telling him it was alright. Seohyun was alive.

"I just can't believe it," Yeosang said, "For a second- when you said her name- I thought-"

"Yeah, I know, me too," San admitted. "It's alright. She's okay."

They waved her goodbye as they went home, and Seohyun cursed as loudly as she could, now that no one could hear her. Then she decided it was time to teleport to that hill, Gayoung and Youngjae must be given an earful.

She closed her eyes shut and imagined being sucked into space. The familiar tingling sensation ran from the top of her head to the tip of her toes; one moment she was here and the next, cold wind hit her face. She was there.

She peeked into the 'cave', basically a home to the ghost siblings. She found them sitting with their knees close to their chest. It was crazy how much they were like each other.

Seohyun cleared her throat and walked in, and the two of them stumbled back, almost falling.

"Are you alive?

"Are you dead?"

"Neither," Seohyun replied, "I did not know going into a coma would make me a ghost."

"Seohyun, I am so sorry-"

"Don't," Seohyun put a hand in the air, shutting them up. "Just tell me what made you do this."

"She threatened to hurt our parents. She knew where they lived. They're who we're staying here for, if she hurt them... I'm sorry," Gayoung looked down in shame.

"She actually asked us to 'take care' of San. We didn't promise her anything, just that he wouldn't interfere," Youngjae added.

"Well, thank you for that," Seohyun smiled, sitting near them. "It must have been hard for you both."

The two of them looked at each other, on the verge of crying.

"I swear if a tear falls down your faces, I'm personally gonna kick you out of this ghost realm."

Gayoung laughed a little, quickly wiping her eyes, and Youngjae did the same. They were just kids, Seohyun thought. They shouldn't have had to think it was their fault or anything.

"But what happened with the witch?" Seohyun asked.

"After she thought she killed you, we saw her screaming. We had just teleported to you when we sensed you were in danger. She just... vanished. And this time I mean like dissipated in the air like ashes. I guess she died again..." Youngjae said.

"Wow. Serves her right!" Seohyun sighed in relief.

"Did you meet San?" Gayoung asked and Seohyun nodded, looking grim.

"I don't think you should leave him alone tonight. He's gonna take this badly."

Seohyun's heart sank. She was right. Seohyun expected San to be alright, but that was just her own expectation. She wasn't actually so sure he would be.

"I don't know where he lives," Seohyun said.

"We'll take you to her," Gayoung said, holding out her hand to her and squeezing it, muttering an earnest thank you. Seohyun nodded, and they teleported once again.

It was an average looking house, much like the ones along the whole street. But somehow it felt more like a home than Seohyun's plain house looked.

"Do you think I can enter?" She wondered out loud, and Gayoung grinned.

"You should try. You should be able to since you're a mediator anyway."

Seohyun shrugged, taking a careful step forward. Indeed, she was able to enter. It seemed like she did have special benefits being a ghost. "I feel like I'm intruding."

"Oh he's your boyfriend, just go," Gayoung waved her hand at her, dismissing her as Youngjae grinned, wriggling hi brows at her. The two snickered, waving bye and teleporting back.

Seohyun stood awkwardly at the front door, afraid she'd be intruding their privacy. She paced back and forth, wondering if she should call San, or just go up and give him a little scare in the process. He probably wasn't in the mood for fun and jokes. She'd seen his face when he'd thought she'd die, and it was something she wished she could erase from her memory.

While she was biting her nails in confusion, she heard the front door open, and for a second, she panicked. But it was only San.

"I saw you from my window," he said, holding the door open, "Come in."

Seohyun bit her lip and nodded, entering. San closed the door behind him and led her upstairs. They went past his sister's room before entering his. Seohyun looked around, his love for plushies obvious by his large collection.

"Which one is Shiber?" Seohyun asked.

"That one," San pointed at the bed. It was a shiba plushie. San slept with it, it seemed.

"Poor thing," Seohyun grinned. San gave her a little smile as he motioned for her to sit. He sat on his bed and Seohyun brought the chair close. "Not how I thought I'd come to your home."

San shook his head, looking down. Seohyun almost leaned forward to touch him until she realized she couldn't. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not, to be honest," San began, meeting eyes with her, "I really thought you... were dead. When you appeared like that. I'm still not over that feeling."

Seohyun felt guilty. She'd found herself a ghost at the site of the accident, right when they were taking her to the hospital. She'd made it there, but she couldn't bring herself to step inside the hospital. She'd spotted San and Yunho from there. "I'm sorry."

"Oh no, you don't have to be," San shook his head, "Not your fault. I just wish I could... touch you right now. Hold you so I'd know you're real and it's not me going crazy."

"I know San," Seohyun almost whispered, "Me too."

They looked at each other sadly, and Seohyun put her hand in front of him, and for a moment San thought she was gonna ask for a high-five. "Put your hand here," she said.

San put his hand forward, and before he could touch, Seohyun pulled hers a little back. "No touching. Just... close. Like this," she put their hands close until there was only a hair's breadth of distance between them. San could have swore he could feel her warmth.

She smiled at him and drew her hand back. "The sibling duo was threatened by that bitch too. I feel sorry for them."

"That explains," San thought, "they didn't seem the type to just turn away like this."

"They apologized thoroughly. But it's okay now. It's only a matter of waking up from that coma... If I can make it."

"Keep your hopes up," San scolded and she smiled sheepishly. "How do you feel though? I mean, now that you're... a ghost. Does it feel any different that being a human?"

"I don't exactly feel weird inside," Seohyun realized, "But there does seem to be something different about this world now. It's like there's a veil over my eyes. Everything is a little cloudy now. Like I have bad eyesight."

"Does that mean you can't see me clearly?" San wondered.

"No, it's like there's a filter now. You know like the ones in the camera where you can decrease the clarity? That's how it feels. Weird."

San nodded. "Will you sleep?"

"I honestly don't know," Seohyun admitted. "I'll watch you sleep though. Maybe that might put me to sleep."

"I don't think I can sleep with you watching me," San huffed. Seohyun let out a short laugh and asked, "Do you want me to go?"

"No- stay. Please," he said, getting up to turn off the lights so there was only light from the little lamp on his desk. He lied down on his bed, facing her, watching her as she stood by the window, peeking out.

She was a ghost, San thought. He wanted her to wake up as soon as possible. He wasn't sure if he could live if Seohyun, god forbid, died and remained a ghost. He couldn't even imagine it.

As if sensing his thoughts, Seohyun turned, staring at him for a moment, those cheekbones pronounced in the shadows. She walked towards him slowly as he watched, and dropped to her knees in front of him, resting her head on the little space on the bed near San, and he crouched too, until they faced each other. She tested once, let her hand hover over his, putting it on top of him- but it passed through, making San shiver a little. So she drew her hand a bit back, until it almost touched at the fingertips.

They stared at each other, and San's eyelid drooped, shutting as he fell asleep. Seohyun closed her eyes too.

--------------------

Seohyun must have actually fell asleep because when she awoke, when she opened her eyes, she was not in San's room but in front of her body, lying still with tubes coming out of everywhere. Her mother was sleeping rather uncomfortably on the sofa.

Her mother. She looked disheveled, and it made Seohyun gasp a little with surprise. She had always seen her so composed, so calm and full of control. She couldn't bring herself to go to her mother when she'd seen her crying of relief, back when they'd heard that her surgery had been successful.

She was glad that her Aunt Yuri had kept her company. She would have to thank her when she woke up. If she ever did. Seohyun shook her head, ridding herself of such thoughts.

Seohyun figured this was where she was gonna wake up every time she slept. She peeked out of the window to see that it was already morning. She felt like she hadn't slept at all, which was weird.

Her mother groaned, rubbing her eyes as she woke up. She looked like she had forgotten for a moment where she was, and as she took in her surroundings, Seohyun saw realization hit her as she jerked violently.

Her mother stared at her for a long while, before sighing and throwing her head in her hands. She thought her state must have been a nuisance for her ever-busy mother, but then she saw the tears fall down her mother's eyes as she hastily wiped at them.

She fell back on her seat, laughing, probably at the situation. And then she spoke:

"When your dad left me, I thought nothing could break me anymore."

Seohyun's eyes went a little wide at the sudden mention of her dad, who had passed away due to his heart problem a little after Seohyun's birth. Her mother had told her fragments of her life with him; they had met at work and fallen in love, spending a few years together before marrying and having a daughter.

"Your dad... he had my whole heart. So you can't blame me for my lack of love because it went with him to the grave. I tried loving you, and I thought it would be very hard. But somehow... I didn't even realize that I already loved you, way before you were born. I loved the thought of you."

Seohyun's heart sank. She thought she was invading her privacy by hearing all this... But technically, her mother was talking to her, wasn't she?

"I realize now. Now that you're looking like your dad in his last moments, I realize how afraid I am to lose you. If you followed him, I'd just be an empty shell."

Seohyun wanted to hug her mom and tell her it was alright. She wanted to give her a sign that she was here... but she figured it would do more harm than good.

"I hope you come back, Seohyun. My little girl. I promise to be a better mother, just- come back."

Seohyun's eyes shone with silver as she smiled at her mother's word. So her mother really did love her. She watched as she got up, straightening her clothes. "I'm going to distract myself until you're back. And then I will give you all the time in this world. Take you where you want to. Act like a proper mother that I should have done years ago. I'm- I'm sorry for not doing that earlier."

She walked to Seohyun's body, planting a kiss on her forehead and Seohyun could have sworn she felt a tingle of it too.

Her mother left after smiling at her, and Seohyun inhaled. She needed to distract herself too.

------------

"I'm making a video of this, and no one is gonna stop me."

"What if someone sees it, Yeosang?" Hongjoong asked, shaking his head.

"I don't care," he replied as he did exactly as he had said. Make a video of Seohyun drumming furiously.

Except you could not see Seohyun and it looked like the drums were playing itself.

"I could start a YouTube channel and earn money from videos like these," he smirked.

"If you start earning money because I'm on the borderline of death," Seohyun had stopped drumming now, "I'll actually haunt you for the rest of my life."

San, who was watching the whole thing while sulking on the sofa, told Yeosang exactly what she had said.

"Good. At least I'll have company for the rest of my life."

Seohyun threw the drumstick, aiming for his head, and it hit home as he yelled in pain, a few colourful words escaping his mouth.

"You deserved it," Hongjoong laughed. Yeosang threw the drumstick back and Seohyun caught it, putting it down. She was done playing. She took the notebook they'd given her for communication and wrote: If I do end up dying, I'll help you all make money. At least I'll still be useful after death, you morons.

She held the notebook for them to read, trying to hide the view from San, but he ended up peeking too, and shook his head again, sulking even more.

"Back with her death jokes," Hongjoong looked at the book with disapproval.

Seohyun threw the book back at the table and came to sit with San, mirroring his sulking position. "It's so boring to have only you to actually talk to, no offence."

"Some taken," San said, "Be grateful I can see you. Imagine if I hadn't followed you that day."

"Actually grateful for that," Seohyun grinned. A ghost of smile crept on his face.

She heard the door of the warehouse open as the rest of them arrived. "Is Seohyun here?" Wooyoung asked, looking worried.

Hongjoong said yes, and he looked around saying, "Wherever you are, I'm so sorry about the accident, Seohyun. I don't want you to die, please come back! I can't lose you!"

Seohyun picked the pillow and threw it with considerable force at Wooyoung, who screamed and Mingi laughed. "Glad to see you're in good spirits."

"Are you okay though?" Jongho asked, having realized she must be sitting with San, "Does it... hurt or anything?"

San told them she said it was fine, it was just like being alive except no one can see her anymore which is making her sad and bored. He skipped the part where she had said that San was kinda boring these days too.

"Glad to hear," Wooyoung put the bag of snacks on the table. "I bought snacks, but... can you eat?"

Seohyun decided it was time to test that theory. She hadn't felt the need to eat, but she supposed theoretically she should be able to eat. She picked a packet of chips and opened it, the rest of them watching her curiously. She picked one in her hand, and then slowly put it in her mouth.

She could eat.

She danced in victory, making the rest of them laugh as Yunho hooted, "Time to loot the stores!"

"Nice idea!" She yelled back, coming back to sit with San, offering him some. He refused first but she made him open his mouth and put one in it. "This feels good. It's like being able to touch you."

San smiled. He felt that too.

Seohyun got up, going to Seonghwa and waiting for him to open his mouth. He was confused for a second but then opened, and Seohyun put the chip in his mouth. "This feels weird," he muttered, but smiled.

One by one, Seohyun put chips in their mouths, making them laugh. Yeosang filmed the whole thing, saying he was gonna make a compilation video once she was back.

San watched her with a curious look in his eyes. She had been acting a bit... different. More cheerful than she should have been. Or maybe he was too gloomy? When Seohyun came back, San folded his arms. "Did something... happen today?"

Seohyun got quiet for a second before she told him about how she had heard her mom talk to her. San wished he could hug her. Even though she sat right next to him, she felt so distant. His heart ached.

"At least now you know for sure that your mother does love you, in her own way."

"I suppose so," Seohyun sighed, folding her arms, watching Mingi and Wooyoung have a little brawl over who was better at drums, "I haven't ever seen her like that. Makes me want to not... die. Not that it's in my control anymore."

"Don't think like that," San turned towards her, "Your willpower is important."

"Is it?" Seohyun countered, and San narrowed his eyes. "I'll have to test that theory-"

"Do not even THINK of trying something reckless-" His voice was raising.

"I'd like to see you stop me-"

"HEY!" San got up abruptly, and everyone turned to look at him, "Does your life mean nothing to you?"

Seohyun instantly got deja vu. He'd said something like this before too. She stared at him as he groaned and pinched his nose bridge in frustration, pacing back and forth and then stopping again. "I thought your life meant something to you now. You had friends- you had us. We love you and care about you so much. I care about you so much. Your mother does. But all you care about is yourself?"

"San-" Blood rushed to Seohyun's cheeks as she realized, "I didn't mean-"

"You did mean it, Seohyun," San sighed, "I- I thought you finally had something to live for."

"San, I do. Believe me, I do."

San looked at her, shaking his head, and Seohyun felt like she could disappear. "Think about it, Seohyun."

He turned and started to go, and Seohyun grabbed his hand- or tried to- but it passed right through.

"I need some time to clear my head," he muttered as he left.

Everyone watched San leave the warehouse, and their eyes went back to where San had been standing, where Seohyun now stood. She felt disappointed in herself. She slumped down on the sofa, the others realizing she was still here.

"What was that about?" Seonghwa asked out loud. Seohyun just clenched her hair as she groaned loudly, cursing herself, glad nobody could hear her right now.

Hongjoong came and sat near Seohyun, saying, "If you want to talk about it, I'm here."

Seohyun thought it was sweet of him. He'd brought the pen and notebook too, placing it in between them. Seohyun took it, scribbling in it.

I messed up big time

Hongjoong read it, scooting a little closer, the notebook seemingly in her lap. She wrote again:

I'm a disappointment to San.

Hongjoong shook his head, "You're not. Trust me, you're not." He took a deep breath, having figured out what the fight was about. "I know you've had it rough, and you're not used to all these new relations. But whatever happened, you can set it right. San won't stay angry, but he'll be truly disappointed if you don't."

Seohyun thought about, and didn't realize her tears were falling on the notebook. Hongjoong could see it.

"You haven't cried since the accident, right? You're very brave, Seohyun."

Seohyun laughed a bit as she realized, making her cry even harder. She scribbled Thanks in the notebook, putting it aside. She knew what she had to do. Apologize.

She got up, walking towards the piano. Seating herself, she tested the keys, giving everyone a little scare before she started to play.

It was the piece Joon Hyuk had taught her. It was utterly sad but beautiful, and it had took her months to get better at it. As she played, she realized her muscle memory was better now. So she lost herself in the sadness of it, her fingers dancing on the keyboard.

When she was finished, she opened her eyes, breathing. it took her a good minute to come back to reality, and when she did, everyone was staring at her. Or the piano.

"Tell me someone got it on their phone," Yeosang mumbled.

Seohyun threw her head back and laughed out loud as she watched the boys fight over why no one took the liberty of filming this moment.

-----------------

That night, Seohyun was pacing in the park near San's house, wondering how she should make things right. A simple 'sorry' wouldn't suffice. She wished she could touch him, hug him. Maybe that would have put more depth to the apology.

She was out of options. And as she was muttering to herself about how much of a bitch she had been, San came walking in, stopping abruptly when he saw her still pacing and cursing. She hadn't noticed yet. So he shook slightly with laughter as he heard her rather colourful vocabulary.

Seohyun sighed, looking up, and finally saw San, her heart sinking to her feet. "Gosh, you gave me a scare," she put a hand to her heart as she breathed.

"It's not like you can die of a heart attack now," San said.

Seohyun paused, narrowing her eyes at him. "Excuse me?"

San shrugged, but lost his demeanor as he finally laughed. "Oh how the tables have turned!" Seohyun gasped, kicking a pebble at him, glad when it struck his leg and he winced.

She gave him a long look. "Are you okay?"

"I am," San said, motioning to the swings and they took one. As they bobbed lightly, Seohyun finally took a deep breath and said, "I am sorry, San."

"For what?" he asked, looking at her.

"For everything," Seohyun said. "I've been a terrible friend."

"No you're not," he smiled. "I just wish you'd give yourself more credit. You don't have to apologize to me. You should be apologizing to yourself."

"Damn, that's poetic," Seohyun said and she could've sworn she heard San mutter 'insufferable', but he still laughed. "Alright. I'll give myself more credit. I won't make death jokes again too."

"Now what would Seohyun be without her death jokes?"

"That is a very valid point," Seohyun smiled. "Alright, I'll just... be a better person. You know."

It seemed like San was enjoying her struggle to find words. "I know what?"

Seohyun's jaw tensed. "Be glad I can't hit you, San."

San smirked.

That cocky little-

Seohyun got up, searching for something to throw at San, who just laughed loudly as he ran away from her.

---------

Days passed. Weeks passed.

A month passed- yet Seohyun was not awake.

Every morning, Seohyun awoke at the hospital, no matter where she slept. She had made the warehouse her home now, since going back to her house was just a reminder that she was not alive, but not dead either.

She wasn't sure how she felt about this situation. The first few days, everyone had been super sensitive about what they said in front of her. But now, everyone was busy with school too. So Seonghwa advised her to attend school too, to not get behind her studies. But Seohyun said that technically, she was still in hospital which meant she could skip school now.

It took her one day without them, bored out of her mind, and she decided that yes, she would go to school too.

So everyday, she sat in her seat, not really paying attention to the lectures but still feeling like she was a part of this world. A part of the living.

And she'd help a lot of ghosts too. Ghosts didn't find her like they did when she was alive, but occasionally she'd stumble upon a lost ghost and help them out, saying she was 'experienced' in helping the fellow-dead.

She was out helping a ghost, a little girl barely 7 years old. She missed her mom and was still hanging on because she had to give her mom a gift, she had promised to. Seohyun's heart went out for the little girl, and she decided to help her.

Seohyun took the girl to her own house, and the little girl went 'wow' when she realized she could touch things now. So Seohyun gave her a nice page and colour pencils while the girl made a drawing. The gift to her mom.

Seohyun hadn't been home in quite a while now. She walked around her room, memories of San and Jiwoo coming to her mind. She smiled as she took the painting of Jiwoo in her hands.

"I'm done!" The girl said, and Seohyun placed the painting back, going to the desk.

"So your name is Yerim?" She asked and Yerim nodded. She had made a cartoon of herself and her mom, labelling it.

"That is a beautiful drawing, Yerim. I'm sure your mom would love it."

Yerim smiled and Seohyun pinched her cheeks. "Now let's give that to your mom."

Yerim guided her to her home, and they went inside, deciding to hide the painting in Yerim's room so when her mom would come, she'd find it, and think she had already made it before she died.

"Thank you, unnie!" Yerim hugged Seohyun and she marvelled at the feeling. She hadn't touched anyone since she'd been a ghost.

Seohyun picked the girl in her arms. "You're so light!" Yerim laughed and hugged her again. They got out of the house, walking randomly, Yerim still in her arms. The black cat started following them too.

"The cat can see you?" Yerim asked.

"Oh yes. When I was... alive, it was my friend. It's still my friend when I'm ghost."

"That's cool," Yerim said as she waved at the cat.

Seohyun asked, "Now that you have done what you stayed here for, you should go now. There's a better world, where you'll wait for your mom. She'll be there soon."

"Will she?" She asked and Seohyun nodded.

"Can we go to the park over there? I used to come there to play with my mom. It has so many flowers too."

"Of course," Seohyun looked at where she had pointed. The park was full of kids and their parents, playing around. "That's a nice place."

Seohyun dropped Yerim and she asked if she would be able to touch the cat. She squealed in surprise when she could.

"What's the name of this cat?"

"Ah. I haven't named it yet..." Was it Shiber or Byeol?

"You can call it Yerim!"

Seohyun paused. She got the strange urge to stretch her cheek.

"You're very cute, Yerim. I'll call her that," Seohyun smiled.

Yerim nodded, looking at the kids, and Seohyun watched her fade away. Feeling the sudden urge to cry, she shook her head and motioned for the cat to follow her.

After roaming around aimlessly, Seohyun reached the warehouse, finding it utterly dark. Not even the usual light was on.

"Where did everyone go?" She muttered, turning to go out, almost jumping out of her skin when she heard what sounded like a blast.

It was a party popper.

"Happy birthday!"

Seohyun turned to find everyone clapping and holding a cake, the only light in the room from the candles. San was laughing at Seohyun's horrified expressions. She truly had forgotten that it was her birthday. She shook her head, laughing.

"You guys, you're- how did you plan this?"

"It took us days to plan," San admitted, and Wooyoung said, "We had to think of a way you'd be busy today."

"But I was busy today because- no way. No way!" Seohyun looked at San in disbelief and he nodded. "I found her before you did and asked her to keep you busy. She was more than happy to."

"Wow," Seohyun shook her head, pinching her nose bridge but smiling at the effort.

"Blow the candles," Seonghwa said, and Yeosang took to his filming.

Seohyun felt strangely happy as she blew her candles, not bothering to make a wish. Hongjoong turned on the lights and she looked around, noticing the various gifts lying in the corner, and her favourite dishes on the table.

San led them to the table, where she cut the cake and made everyone take a bite from her hands. She couldn't thank them enough; this was the first time she had a surprise- or even a celebration.

"I wish the circumstances were different," Seohyun sighed.

San told them what she said and Yunho answered, "It doesn't feel any different. Only we can't see or hear you, so we have to visualize. Oh, and we get more jump-scares now."

Seohyun laughed, and they dug into the food.

After they all were done, they asked her to unwrap her gifts. So Seohyun grabbed the largest one first, which was from Yunho. It was a school bag, with space for laptop too.

"I noticed yours was kind of worn out," Yunho grinned. Seohyun scribbled on the notebook, saying 'Thank you for noticing! :)'. The others applauded him for the approval.

The next one was from Mingi. It was a beautiful leather band watch, which she loved, saying she wished she could put it on right now, and wondering for a moment that if she did, where would it go when she was back?

Yeosang had gifted her some chocolates from abroad, conveniently his father had been out of country. And since he knew her love for chocolate was one to be appreciated, he decided on it. Seohyun almost cried when she spotted her favourite ones.

"I do have another gift, but you'll have to wait for it," he admitted. Seohyun narrowed her eyes, scribbling 'It better be worth it' and moving on to the next.

Jongho had given her a scented set; shampoo, lotion and candle. Hongjoong got her a cap and sunglasses, rather stylish, and Seohyun had to admit she was impressed by his choice. Seonghwa had gifted her a black cat plushie- very, very similar to Yerim the cat. Seohyun admitted it might be her favourite gift. Wooyoung had gifted her a set of earrings, and she appreciated that it was just her taste. And San got her a couple ring, making everyone including herself gasp when they saw it.

"I didn't know what to get..." San scratched the back of his neck.

"No, I love it. It's so pretty!" It was just her style; a silver band with a tiny diamond in the center. Seohyun tried it on, showing it to San excitedly who laughed, approving. He wore his own too.

"Aw, this is so sweet. Except it looks like San proposed to himself," Wooyoung said, earning a smack from Seonghwa.

Seohyun took it off, handing it to San. "I'll wear it when I'm back."

"You wanna go for a walk?" San asked, and she nodded, getting up and asking him to convey her thanks to everyone, that they should keep this stuff here and she'll properly receive them and thank them when she was back.

After everyone said goodbye, San and Seohyun started walking aimlessly around, San telling her how it had taken them a whole week to plan, which included panicking over gifts too. Since it was their first time with Seohyun, it was more difficult to decide on what she'd like.

"I would have loved anything you gave me, even if it was stupid. I appreciate the gesture more."

"I know," San smiled at her. Seohyun was looking at him with a smile on her face, taking in the details on his pretty face, that she didn't notice a bike rushing and on its way to hit her.

Of course she wouldn't get hit, but out of impulse, San grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the side, "Even if you're a ghost, you should be careful-"

"How- how did you did you just touch me?"

San looked at her, then looked down at his hands, then looked at her again. "Did I?"

Seohyun frowned. Slowly, taking a step towards him, she touched his face, and they sucked in their breath.

She could touch him.

Seohyun laughed in disbelief, touching his face, feeling every angle and curve of it, and San's hands went to grab her hands, marvelling at the touch. He hugged her, not quite believing it until he could feel her arms around her.

Seohyun broke the hug, joining their foreheads, for a moment forgetting everything else as she kissed him. God, it had been too long. They kissed each other in a frenzy, until San felt like someone dumped water on him and he broke apart.

"How did this happen?"

"I don't know," Seohyun breathed, "I don't know, I-"

Seohyun fell to the ground, clenching her head in her hands as she cried out in pain.

"What's happening?" San asked, panic lacing his voice, and Seohyun muttered that she did not know.

"I think I'm dying," Seohyun said, wincing because of the sharp pain, "Or something's happening. I'm being pulled back. San- I'm scared."

San was sitting down with her now, holding her in her arms, caressing her head, "It's gonna be alright," he said, pressing a kiss to her head, "It's gonna be alright."

He didn't know how long he stayed there comforting her as she breathed and faded. And he did not know how long he stared at the empty space in front of him, where Seohyun had just been.

-----------------

It was utter chaos at the hospital- the doctors and the nurses were rushing around, everyone was borderline panicking. Seohyun was going into shock- her mother was crying hysterically as she watched the doctors go around her in a frenzy. A nurse told her to pray- she would either make it or pass away.

Her mother watched her heart beat flatline and the doctors resuscitate her. Her mother almost fainted as she watched the monitors- she was having flashbacks from the time her husband had passed away. Her friend Yuri came rushing in, leading her outside, rubbing her back and telling her it was better to wait and pray instead of watch what was going on.

Meanwhile, San, who had been staring at the empty space in front of him, where Seohyun had just been, slapped himself to reality and called Hongjoong, quickly telling him what had happened as he rushed through the streets, trying to find a taxi. The boys joined him, their faces pale, and they ran to the main street until they found taxis and drove to the hospital, not being able to calm their loudly thumping hearts.

As soon as they reached the hospital, they looked at each other once, nodding, scared for what they would get to hear. Most of them were trembling now- but they followed each other to the ICU, where they spotted the doctors coming out of the room.

Yunho spotted Yuri and ran to her, "How's Seohyun? What happened to her?"

Yuri narrowed her eyes at Yunho, "How did you know...?"

Yunho internally cursed himself before making up an excuse, "I was passing by here when I heard the doctors call the others to Seohyun's room- I called the rest. It wasn't looking good."

Yuri nodded, "She's okay now. She's awake, in fact. Look," Yuri pointed at the door that was slightly open, and Yunho saw her mother smiling through tears, holding Seohyun's hand, who was smiling too.

Yunho sighed in relief, almost falling on his knees. He thanked Yuri and motioned the rest to join him, and the rest knew it was good news with the smile on Yunho's face. They watched the mother and daughter smile and talk to each other, and they hugged each other in relief, their eyes wet.

Seohyun spotted the group of boys outside, waving at them. The boys waved back and they watched her say something to her mother, who nodded, getting up after kissing her forehead and coming out.

"I never thought Seohyun could have so many friends one day," Her mother smiled at them.

"It's good to meet you," Jongho said, and they bowed in greeting.

"You can meet her now- try not to be too loud," she laughed, waving at them.

The boys walked slowly to her room, taking in Seohyun's appearance- there were shadows under her eyes, a few scars on her face and hands, but her smile was the only thing they could see.

"Come here. I missed you all so much!"

Jongho went first, shaking hands with her, the rest coming one by one, holding back from hugging her or ruffling her hair because of the bandages on her head and everywhere else. They were all a little speechless, having seen Seohyun after so long now.

Even San was speechless- he had seen Seohyun everyday, but not like this.

"I thought you'd be happier to see me," Seohyun looked at San.

"I... I am, I just-" San shook his head, looking down as he trembled from trying to hold back his tears, "I really thought... that you were gone."

Seohyun sighed, pursing her lips. "I have given you all a hard time, haven't I?"

They all shook their heads, Mingi and Wooyoung rubbing San's back who was trying his hardest not to cry but ultimately failed. Hongjoong said they'd give them a moment and they left the room.

"San. Come on, look at me. San!"

San sniffed, wiping his eyes before looking at her. Tears formed in her own eyes and she wiped them.

"I'm so sorry, San. I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry for anything," San leaned forward, taking her hand in his- it had been too long. "Nothing to be sorry about, except scaring the shit out of me."

Seohyun laughed, "I scared the shit out of myself too, not gonna lie."

"I can't believe you're real," San admitted, bringing her hand to his face, reveling the feeling of her touch, "I am awake, am I not?"

Seohyun slapped his face lightly with her other hand. "Very much awake."

San took his sweet time not saying anything, just looking at her face, his lips on her hand.

"Say something, San. You're being weird."

San shook his head, kissing her hand. "I am never leaving you, ever. Get that in your head. No amount of death jokes are going to scare me away. You're stuck with me now until I die."

Seohyun flushed at the sudden confession. "Are you sure? I can make horrible jokes."

"As sure as I will ever be."

Seohyun smiled until she was laughing, tears running down her face. "God, I love you, San. I'm not leaving you too. Even if you're angry with me, disappointed in me, or whatever, I'll keep bugging you."

"Good to hear," San grinned.

"Come here," Seohyun motioned, and San asked her if it was okay. Seohyun just grabbed his collar and gave him a light peck on his lips.

"I can't hug you right now, but I can do this."

San smiled, returning the favour. They both stared at each other, smiling.

"Now that is a creepy sight I wish I will never see again. Tell me you got that on camera, Wooyoung."

"Right on," Wooyoung replied to Hongjoong, and Seohyun tried throwing her pillow at them, groaning in pain when she turned too harshly. San told her to calm down, throwing the pillow himself.

"It's our turn now, you've been seeing her for months now!" Yeosang shouted, and Seohyun laughed as she watched them push San out of the way, making him sit in the corner and pout while they sat in front of her, taking turns to talk to her.

"How did it feel while you were a ghost?" Wooyoung asked.

"Like I was alive, but not real?"

"Did it hurt when you became a ghost, or when you went back?" Seonghwa asked.

"When I went back, yes, I felt like my head was about to burst-"

"Can you still see ghosts now?" Mingi asked.

"I don't know yet-"

"Let her rest!" Hongjoong clapped once, "We'll have plenty of time to catch up when she comes home."

Seohyun pouted and Hongjoong patted her shoulder, "Glad you're back, Seohyun."

Seohyun smiled, wriggling her brows at him and they all waved at her before leaving, San coming to kiss her hand once before leaving. Seohyun sighed- he was being so soft.

Her mother came in, trying to stifle her smile but failing. "You have many friends now, it seems."

"I do," Seohyun nodded, smiling back, "I have a boyfriend too."

Her mother raised one eyebrow, putting her hands on her hips. "Lee Seohyun! Why didn't you tell me earlier? Which one was he?"

"The one who left last, San."

"Oh," her mother gave her a thumbs up, "How did it happen?"

Seohyun told her to sit because it was a long story, and then told her all about how she had met San, how he was able to see ghosts now too, because of her, and how they, at one point, started liking each other.

"Were you a ghost when you were in a coma?"

Seohyun bit her lip, nodding.

"And these friends knew?"

"They did. San could see me, but he couldn't touch me. At least not until tonight, just before it happened."

Her mother sighed, leaning back. "Is there a reason none of them, and not even you, bothered to tell me that you were a ghost?"

"I wanted to- I slept every night and woke up here, with you. I heard you talk to me. I couldn't break your heart, mom. Not when I wasn't sure if I was going to make it."

"I understand," She nodded, earnest, "How did this even happen?"

"It was an old ghost- a vengeful one. Apparently when you kill a 'mediator'- that's what they call me, there are a few moments before the mediator thing passes to another person. During those moments, ghosts can trespass and interact with humans and whatnot. At least that's what that bitch told me-"

"Language-"

"I'm talking about the ghost who tried to kill me."

"Oh, that bitch, go on."

"So apparently ghosts can't kill the mediators. So she tried doing it to me indirectly, which ended up killing her."

"Good riddance! But I hope you will have stopped seeing ghosts now. I don't want you to get in more trouble," her mother's eyes were full of worry.

"I don't think that happened, but at least nobody will try to kill me now."

The mother and daughter sat thinking for a few moments. Finally, her mother spoke, "You're getting discharged in three days. If you want to take a break from school, if you want to go on a trip, I can do that-"

"Thank you, mom," Seohyun smiled, "I just want to live like I had been living. Normally. We can go somewhere during the New Year holidays if you're free- otherwise, I just want to go to school, spend time with the boys, do normal stuff."

"I took extra days off," her mother nodded, "We can go visit your grandparents in the countryside."

"Sure! I haven't seen them in forever."

"You can go with the boys somewhere if you want to before New Year. I won't be home for Christmas- I have business in Japan. But if you want me home for Christmas-"

"Please, it's really okay, mom," Seohyun nodded furiously, "I won't be alone this time. Just promise you'll be home for New Year."

"I promise," she smiled.

"Done. I'll plan something with the boys."

Three days later, Seohyun was finally discharged, the bandages off her and she felt light. Seohyun took a look in the mirror when she got home- the wounds on her face would fade with time. She was alive, and that was all that mattered.

The boys had paid a visit every night, and it was time for her to return the favour. Seohyun decided she would buy something for them each- a Christmas gift, a gift because she woke up. She told them all to be there at night while she went shopping.

Two hours later, several shopping bags in her hands, she stood outside the warehouse. The air felt incredibly different now that she was alive.

Seohyun closed her eyes, relishing the feel of the wind on her skin, blowing the hair away from her face.

"Home."

------------------

"Hi guys!" Seohyun stood awkwardly, waving the bags in her hands. The boys all turned, hooting as they rushed towards her, and for a moment, Seohyun almost had a heart attack.

"STOP!" She shouted, and they stopped in their tracks, realizing their mistake. "One at a time, okay? Go back and sit."

They obeyed, muttering things under their breath and San approached her, taking some of the bags away from her.

"Can I hug you first?"

"Not fair!" Wooyoung shouted.

Seohyun laughed while San glared at Wooyoung, "We'll have plenty of time later, but here," She gave him a brief hug, sighing into it. It was the first time she was going to hug everyone after the accident.

She had been discharged from the hospital the next night, after the doctors made sure everything was okay. The bandages were off now, mostly. Some scars remained- one running down her temple as well. She had been home the past days, not being able to meet anyone, taking her time to get her energy back, only going out shopping with her mom.

"Alright," Seohyun placed the bags in front of the table where everyone sat, "This is going to be a random pick. I got you all gifts for Christmas, so I'm going to pick a bag. Here-" Seohyun picked one, "Yeosang!"

Yeosang got up haughtily, flipping his hair, motioning at them to applaud and they did, faces grumpy as he approached Seohyun and hugged her, almost picking her up in the air.

"Don't crush me!" Seohyun laughed, and Yeosang finally broke the hug, patting her head.

"We didn't get you anything for Christmas yet."

"You don't need to, you got me enough for the birthday-"

"We'll just give you food then," Jongho suggested.

"Deal," Seohyun winked at him, handing Yeosang the bag. "Open it."

Yeosang looked at her pointedly, opening the box to reveal a small flying drone. Yeosang gasped in surprise and Seohyun looked proud.

"I may have noticed you doodling drones in your notebook."

Yeosang laughed and thanked her, saying she knew him well. Seohyun picked the next bag.

"Seonghwa!"

Seonghwa pumped a fist in the air as he ran to Seohyun, hugging her.

"You hug like my mom does," Seohyun muttered.

"Glad you're back," he said, kissing her temple before he broke the hug. He opened the gift to reveal a set of-

"Hey, how did you know to get me these!" Seonghwa looked at Seohyun in surprise while the others tried to peek at what Seonghwa was holding, who took the boxes out to reveal action figurines. Seohyun smiled as she watched the rest laugh in approval.

"When you guys crashed my first date and took me shopping, I may have noticed you eyeing these in the shop- I don't know what category they are- I just memorized one of the toys of that set and went there and found it, to my relief."

"You're very observant," Seonghwa eyed her and she curtsied, earning another thanks.

"Can I come next?" Jongho said, pointing at the giant bear wrapped messily lying in the corner, "It's a bit too obvious now to pretend I don't see it."

Seohyun bit her lip, trying not to laugh, "Please do."

Jongho smiled, skipping to Seohyun, hugging her such that she was dangling in the air, arms flapping wildly at the side, and then the two skipped to where the bear was- it was about Seohyun's size. Jongho tore the wrappers and laughed-

"You really had to?"

Seohyun smiled at the apple necklace the bear wore- it was a special touch she added to Jongho's gift. "I mean, I could have gifted you a crate of apples-"

Yeosang laughed out loud, causing the others to laugh as well, "The apples wouldn't have lasted a day."

"It's not that bad!" Jongho sulked, dragging the bear to the couch and hugging it, pouting. Seohyun shook her head at him, picking the next bag.

"Yunho!"

Yunho hooted in victory, pausing in front of Seohyun for a second before spreading his arms, and Seohyun gladly hugged him, laughing because she barely reached his shoulders.

"Glad you're back, you dwarf."

"Thanks, you giant puppy," Seohyun shook her head, breaking the hug and handing him the bag. Yunho eyed her before fishing out a long box, unwrapping it.

Seohyun watched as his mouth opened in surprise, and he looked at Seohyun, then back at the boys, then back at her.

"What is it?" Wooyoung asked, "Don't make me get up now-"

"How did you get your hands on this!" Yunho laughed out loud, taking out a wand from the box, "This is Harry's wand, right?"

"Harry's wand!" Mingi wowed, and Hongjoong shook his head, "Isn't this too much! When did you get the time!"

"Actually, this wasn't a Christmas gift," Seohyun admitted, and Yunho looked at her in surprise, "You remember when we talked about Harry Potter all day in school when I was... alive? Before becoming a ghost, I mean-"

"I do," Yunho shook his head, "You're still alive, you know."

Seohyun waved a hand in dismissal, "Anyways, one of mom's friends was in UK, and I had asked her to get me a wand from there, so I asked to bring another."

"I don't know- isn't this too much?" Yunho looked at her hesitantly, and Seohyun rolled her eyes, looking at San who was laughing silently.

"Shut up. Next!" Seohyun announced, ignoring Yunho and picking another bag. "Hongjoong!"

"When is my turn!" Wooyoung wailed loudly, Mingi joining, and Seohyun watched as the two started playing rock papers scissors to bet on who would be next.

"How did you even bring all these here," Hongjoong asked as he hugged her, long and good, "Wasn't it too much trouble?"

"It's okay," Seohyun rubbed his back before they broke apart, and Seohyun handed him the bag. "Here."

Hongjoong looked at her pointedly, "This looks the smallest."

"I can assure you, it was the most expensive-"

"Hey!" Hongjoong laughed, "I'm not opening this."

"Stop being so dramatic, we're waiting!" Wooyoung shouted, Mingi doubling over with laughter.

"I'll do the honours," Seohyun picked the box and tore the wrapper apart. "I had to."

Hongjoong almost dropped the box as he held it- it was headphones- but high quality ones- ones he wish he could have to make him hear the sound betters when he composed in his laptop. "Seohyun-"

"Don't-"

"How can I accept this!"

"You know I could get you better things- my mom's loaded. She was all too glad when I told her that you were the guys I was buying gifts for. Please, Hongjoong, it's not much."

Hongjoong shook his head, "I know it's not much to you, but to us, it is. I'd appreciate it if you don't spend money like that again-"

"Shut up," Seohyun shook her head, "It's my first time getting someone gifts. First time getting someone something meaningful, first time I actually put thought into all of this. First time I was excited. Please," Seohyun wrapped his hands in hers, "Accept it."

"You're gonna make me cry now," Hongjoong laughed, bringing her in for another hug. "Thank you. I won't forget this."

"Thank you for accepting," Seohyun laughed, and Hongjoong went back, flaunting his headphones as he examined them.

"Okay, Mingi, you're next."

Mingi almost fell as he got up in victory, waving his butt at Wooyoung and earning a smack, skipping as he came to Seohyun and hugged her dramatically, picking her and actually making her scream-

"Drop me, you giant!" Seohyun slapped his arms repeatedly, and he finally dropped her, pretending she had hit her too hard. Seohyun slapped his arm again, finally smiling.

Mingi went to where his bag was- finding two boxes- his recent two favourite anime's action figurines.

"You remembered!"

"I also got you the recent volumes!" Seohyun fished out another bag from under the table and Mingi wowed, checking as if he couldn't believe it.

"You have good memory! When did I tell you which volumes I had?"

"Some time in school?" Seohyun smiled, "I didn't know what else to get you- I already gave you the drums, I could have waited till Christmas I guess-"

"Oh come on, they're yours-"

"They're yours now," Seohyun announced, and Yunho started clapping, "I mean, I'm a co-owner. Deal?"

"Deal," Mingi ruffled her hair, thanking her.

"Finally now, it's my time!" Wooyoung came singing, almost running to Seohyun as he crashed into her, spinning her and kissing her forehead, "I cannot tell you how happy I am that you are alive!"

"Even if I was dead," Seohyun began, "I feel like I wouldn't have been able to move on because of you-"

"Hush, now," Wooyoung shook his head, laughing. "Hey, mine is the lightest! Hongjoong!"

Hongjoong was too absorbed in his headphones to respond and San finally got up, telling Wooyoung to hurry up so they could have 'alone time'. Wooyoung unwrapped his gift-

"BTS' ALBUM!"

Seohyun flinched at how loud he was and San came to cover her ears as Wooyoung shouted in surprise and amazement, thanking Seohyun to which she nodded, still flinching as he ran around flaunting the album.

"You brought this upon yourself," San laughed, and Seohyun smiled as Wooyoung crushed her in another hug, thanking her again and again.

"You want me to take it back!"

"NO!"

"THEN SHUT UP!" Seohyun shouted as loudly as Wooyoung who only grinned.

"I knew there was something about you that I just had to make you friend-"

"Anddd that's enough," San slapped the back of Wooyoung's head, "Let's go to dinner after an hour, guys. Meanwhile, I'm stealing her."

With that, San put his arm on Seohyun's back, guiding her out as the boys 'ooh-ed', making her flush. Seohyun couldn't help but smile as San led her out of the warehouse, taking her at the backside where the boys had set up a small place with a tent and couches for when the weather was nice and they wanted to sit out.

"I wish we could go somewhere else, but I don't want to waste this hour," San said, leading her to the couches, pausing to look at her, his hands hesitant as he touched her face, "How have you been?"

"Oh please, it's not like we didn't call at nights the past two days- I'm fine, really."

San touched the scar at her temple, kissing it, making her flush deeper, "I'm glad to hear that."

Seohyun pushed San's chest, "You're being too... mushy."

"Mushy?" San raised an eyebrow, laughing as they sat on the couch, facing each other.

"You're sometimes too romantic for me to handle, you know that?" Seohyun folded her arms.

"I haven't even begun-"

"Exactly what I mean!" Seohyun shook her head, and San laughed, scooting closer.

"Tell me you missed me. Tell me you missed... us."

Seohyun bit her lip, scanning his face- the moonlight making his cheekbones appear sharper, his eyes dark.

"Can't say I didn't," Seohyun sighed, "Let me hug you first."

San brought her closer and she wrapped her arms around him, almost in his lap, her head resting on his chest as she sighed, melting in the embrace. "I definitely missed this. I could sleep right here-"

"Don't you think about sleeping now."

Seohyun smiled, burying her nose in his neck, inhaling the scent of him- it felt like nostalgia, like home. "I never thought I'd appreciate hugs one day- not being in contact for these two months really put me in my place."

San broke the hug, looking at her face, "I could tell. You got Jongho that bear- you know he doesn't really like skin-ship but watch him cling to that bear for the rest of his life. I realized then."

"You're right, I'm surprised you noticed," Seohyun admitted, "He and I are alike in that. I knew he'd love it. Oh, and also, I got you something, but it's not here yet."

"What did you get me?"

"Don't be too surprised when it comes," Seohyun grinned, "I wasn't too sure- yours was the hardest to think of, but it just happened-"

"Please, I'm curious now," San pouted, whining. "I won't be able to stop thinking now that you reminded me-"

Seohyun kissed him to shut him up, breaking apart to look at his reaction- satisfied to see his eyes wide in surprise and then narrow in challenge.

"I guess I could use a distraction. We do have an hour."

Seohyun laughed, kissing him properly this time, taking it slow- it was the first time they were properly kissing since she was back. San held her face delicately, letting her set the pace. Seohyun's hands were more urgent, running through his soft hair, caressing his face, his neck, roaming around his back and chest as they kissed lazily.

"Don't hold me like I'm gonna break, Choi San."

It was all San needed to hear- he kissed her with a force that got her arching back until her back hit the couch itself, and San broke apart to caress her face and draw her hair back.

"I love you, Seohyun. Merry Christmas."

"And I love you, you mountain," Seohyun smiled, "Now kiss me."

The rest of the hour went by as they kissed, murmured sweet nothings as they sat in each other's embrace, or just watched each other, hands caressing hands. The hour went by slow yet it felt like a flash once it was over and they were interrupted with Wooyoung shouting at them to come inside already.

Holding each other's hands, they went inside and sat with the boys to plan where to go for dinner. Yunho looked at the two and burst out laughing, Mingi joining him.

One by one, they all started laughing, leaving San and Seohyun who stared at them. Even Hongjoong and Seonghwa- the serious ones were laughing.

"Did you two only make out during that one hour?" Yeosang shook his head, "Look at how disheveled you both are."

San and Seohyun immediately looked down, but their clothes were straight, and their hair wasn't messed up-

It was only when all of them burst out laughing that the two realized this was a trick- and San covered his face as he laughed while Seohyun gaped at them, getting up in search of something- grabbing a small cushion and running forward to hit them-

"It was Yunho's idea, don't hit me!" Mingi wailed.

"You're still an accomplice," Seohyun laughed as she ran at all of them, hitting them once on their heads to 'get their brains to kick start'. "So what if we only made out? I'll ask you all when you finally have partners, you loners!"

-------------------

It was the first dinner Seohyun had with the boys since coming back to her normal life.

And it was chaotic, to say the least.

People had mistaken them for being a bunch of drunks one too many times, the way they were hollering with laughter and talking about ghosts as loudly as they could. But everything was okay- Seohyun hadn't felt happier in a while.

After a very lavish dinner, they all walked around the town, making fun of each other and playing, and before Seohyun could decide to leave for her home and bid everyone goodnight, Yeosang told her they had one last surprise for her at the warehouse before she went home.

"And why couldn't I get this surprise when we were back at the warehouse just a few hours ago?"

"You'll know why," Jongho teased, "Just come."

Seohyun rolled her eyes, secretly anticipating just what they had in store for her, and followed them to the warehouse.

"We'll be right back- stay here," Wooyoung said, dragging Jongho and Yeosang with him while the rest stood outside, waiting.

"Can I have a hint?" Seohyun folded her arms.

"Uh, nope." Hongjoong was firm.

"Is it something about a musical performance or a dance performance-"

"Can you calm down and wait?" Seonghwa laughed.

"Is this going to be a prank?" Seohyun raised her eyebrow.

"If it was a prank I would have been inside with them," Mingi raised his hand and Seohyun narrowed her eyes at him.

"Me too!" Yunho grinned, and Mingi and Yunho shared a look which set Seohyun pacing due to nervousness.

"Calm down," San laughed, his eyes full of adoration, "You'll love it. It's all I am allowed to say."

Seohyun pouted, eyeing the warehouse, not hearing anything at all. Another minute passed by which Seohyun had scratched near her fingernails out of nervousness when Wooyoung peeked out, giving a thumb up.

"Finally," Seohyun exhaled, and San took her hand in his as they walked inside.

They were greeted by the Siamese cat that Seohyun had gifted San, who finally named her Byeol. Yerim was their stray cat and Byeol was their pet cat, who loved staying inside the warehouse- her home.

Seohyun looked around. Everything was the same, except there was a projector now set up in front of the couches. "Are we watching a movie?"

"A short movie, you could say," Jongho took her other hand, leading her to the couch and making her sit in the middle, San sitting on one side and Yeosang on the other, and Wooyoung made sure everyone was sitting in front of the screen before he put the lights out, grinning as he sat on the floor mat in front of Seohyun. Seohyun playfully kicked his back, earning a slap to the leg.

"Okay, I'm starting it."

Yeosang clicked a button and there was static for a few seconds before music started to play- music she realized was from one of the samples she'd heard from Hongjoong. She raised her brow at him, and he just winked.

Seohyun went back to watching the screen, which went black and then a video clip started playing- she frowned as she realized where it was from- school.

"Hi," Wooyoung said, "I made a new friend today, but she's kind of scary so I don't know when I'll be able to get a proper vlog with her- ow!"

Seohyun smacked Wooyoung's head. The teacher was about to come in. Wooyoung hid the camera and Seohyun said, "I owe you one."

"You owe me nothing-"

"Should I tell the teacher what exactly you were doing?"

"Boomer," Wooyoung muttered.

Seohyun laughed out loud, "I never heard you call me a boomer!" She smacked the back of Wooyoung's head again, and he laughed out loud.

"This is exactly why you didn't hear me!" Wooyoung laughed, rubbing his head.

The clip changed and Seohyun recognized the scene again-

"I win," Yeosang smirked.

"Next game, come on."

Seohyun drew another blank page and the two restarted another game of tic tac toe. This time, Seohyun went first and she won. Seohyun put a line on her tally count.

"This will go on forever," Yunho, who was watching them, said, "Whenever Seohyun goes first, she wins. Whenever Yeosang goes first, he wins. You both have this figured out- why don't you just shake hands and accept the draw?"

"No."

Yunho laughed as the both had glared at him and said no in unison, flipping the page and starting another game. Mingi, who was filming, turned the camera to himself and shook his head.

"They're never gonna stop."

"We did stop," Yeosang laughed, "Only because the teacher came."

"So who won?" San asked.

Seohyun sighed, smiling, "We shook hands and accepted draw."

The scene changed again, and it was from when Seohyun had first seen the warehouse and revealed that she knew how to play the piano- apparently Jongho had caught her playing the melody that she remembered from Hongjoong. It followed by the clips of the truth and dare game they had that night- the one when Seohyun finally told the boys that she could see ghosts. Everyone had a good laugh over it and Seohyun felt nostalgic as she watched Hongjoong's Billie Jeans imitation and Yunho's golden retriever. Seohyun had stopped them from filming the ghost evidence back then.

The clips that followed were all... ghost evidence. The boys used to play games with Jiwoo- like cards, tic tac toe, or such games, and Seohyun watched with her mouth open in disbelief as the amount of 'evidence' clips passed.

"Good thing Jiwoo's not here- if she was, I would have personally seen her out of this realm."

San rubbed her arm, laughing, "You never stopped them from filming."

Seohyun just shook her head, smiling as the clips changed to a compilation of their last day with Jiwoo, of them playing in the water, playing games and just laughing and having a good time. Seohyun felt bittersweet at the memories.

"Now here starts the fun part," Wooyoung winked.

And sure enough, fun it was.

"It appears my definition of fun differs from yours," Seohyun flushed as she saw a compilation of clips of San and Seohyun being the most obvious couple- looking at each other adoringly, holding hands, talking, etc. "I feel exposed."

"This was my idea- to put these in," San admitted, grinning at her flushed self, "I knew you'd like it."

Seohyun rolled her eyes but smiled, and they all watched the various clips from their outings together, until-

"Oh," Seohyun realized why this gift from Yeosang was late.

The drums playing itself, the piano playing itself, food flying in the air, cushions being thrown- all Seohyun as a ghost, and she had to admit the direction of this movie was clever.

"I'm going to wait till the end credits to comment," Seohyun muttered, watching the day of her birthday, smiling because it really looked like they had filmed the whole thing.

Seohyun's grip on San's hand tightened when she saw the clip from the day at the hospital when she finally woke up- the 'creepy sight' Hongjoong had referred to and Wooyoung had filmed- the sight being San and Seohyun staring and smiling at each other, their foreheads joined.

"You really had to add this?" Seohyun kicked Wooyoung's back lightly, making everyone giggle.

"This is like the epilogue of the whole thing," Mingi said.

The video ended with a picture of the 8- which Jiwoo had clicked on the beach. The end credits rolled, crediting everyone except Seohyun- even Jiwoo.

"Come on, I must have made at least one of the videos or pictures there-"

"In case you haven't noticed, you barely use your phone," Yunho retorted, and Seohyun pouted.

"So," Wooyoung turned, "What do you think?"

Seohyun couldn't stop herself from smiling, looking up as she felt her eyes burn, and the boys started chanting "DON'T CRY", making her laugh harder.

"This really is a gift from all of you- the memories, though I think I should thank Yeosang first," Seohyun smiled at him, taking his hand, "Thank you. You didn't have to waste your time on this."

"It wasn't a waste of time," Yeosang shook his head, "I had this idea when you were still... a ghost. So instead of making it bleaky with only ghost memories, I decided to do something like this. Wooyoung helped me a lot too."

"You all make me cry too much," Seohyun wiped the corners of her eyes, "I was never this emotional-"

"Oh please," Seonghwa shook his head, "If we had a clip from every time that you cried-"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" Seohyun laughed, "Thank you, all of you. This, us here right now, is the greatest Christmas gift I could have from anyone of you-"

"Now don't go being all sentimental on us, Seohyun-"

"Ugh, you guys don't let me breathe!" Seohyun glared at Jongho, who was doubling over with Mingi, "I'm saying it again, and you all better not interrupt. I really love you guys. It's been a great few months, despite the bad things that happened. I wouldn't have made it back without you guys. Thank you for everything."

They all smiled, Seohyun taking time to make eye contact with everyone.

"Thank you for sticking with us, I guess," Seonghwa grinned.

Wooyoung nodded. "I know we can be a loud bunch-"

"You don't say," Seohyun muttered.

"See, you interrupt us too when we're all sentimental!" Wooyoung turned to glare at her.

"Hey, who's idea was it to befriend me again?" Seohyun shrugged, "You brought this upon yourself-"

"It was because we thought a girl in our group would so us good! If I had known you talked and sat like a guy-"

Wooyoung shut up when Seohyun kicked his back, harder this time, making everyone howl with laughter at the two of them bickering.

"Hey, she can be girly when she wants to be-"

"You're not helping, San!"

"It's imitation time, Yunho!" Yeosang called his attention and Yunho bowed, getting up and preparing himself to act like Seohyun.

He walked a few feet away, rolling his sleeves up, which already had the boys laughing, stealing Hongjoong's cap so he could complete the 'Seohyun' look.

"So here's how she walks-" Yunho hunched his shoulders a bit, his eyes darting here and there as he walked with light steps- a habit Seohyun had to make as less of a sound while walking as she could.

"It's because I look out for ghosts!" Seohyun folded her arms, slumping back as the boys laughed at the near perfect imitation, almost howling when Yunho slumped in the chair, sighing, legs apart but feet together, arms folded.

"That's perfect," Yeosang managed to say between laughter. Seohyun clenched her jaw, trying not to laugh.

"I feel exposed..."

"But that's how you really are like, baby," San scoffed.

"I could have been like one of those girls who's always walking like a model, sitting like this-" She tried mimicking those formal sitting positions, "And has her lashes fluttering every second, and is always worried about how she looks."

"See, I knew you'd fit in well with us," Wooyoung grinned, and Seohyun threw a pillow at him as San and Wooyoung started to bicker about Seohyun.

Seohyun smiled as she pet the cat that was now in her lap, looking around at the boys, all smiles and laughter, no worries. Yeosang noticed her expressions and raised his brows.

Seohyun smiled.

"This really does feel like home."

--------------------

Thank you for reading and supporting! <3

#choi san x reader #choi san angst #choi san fluff #choi san scenarios #choi san imagines #ateez au #ateez x reader #san x reader #san imagines #ateez imagines #san au #san fluff #san angst #san scenarios #ateez scenarios #ateez fanfic

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ncssian · 4 years ago

Text

A Favor: Part Fourteen

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: my quickest AND longest update to date?? who am i??

merry christmas for real this time. thank you sm for reading i never voice my appreciation for yall but it’s there i swear

tw: abuse mention

***

Cassian’s plan to grab his stuff and get the hell back home is intercepted by Feyre, who pulls him aside and proceeds to spill everything about her fight with Nesta to him.

His heart hurts for Feyre—he of all people knows what it’s like to feel unwanted by your biological family. But what did she really think would happen? Their entire friend group is about placing chosen bonds over blood bonds. Feyre can’t be that offended if Nesta prefers the company of her friends over her little sisters. And trying to talk to Nesta about her therapy? Jesus.

But Cassian has a feeling it’ll take both Feyre and Elain a long spelling out of things before they can begin to understand Nesta the way he does, and he doesn’t have time for that right now. He’s too distracted to even provide the comfort Feyre came to him for.

Somehow, he makes up an excuse and detaches himself from the conversation, leaving to find his coat and keys. Azriel spies him on the way to the door and gives him a look.

“Not a fucking word,” Cassian growls as he passes. Everyone else is engrossed in a game of poker and getting progressively more drunk. Feyre now sits on Rhys’s lap, once again content. Azriel only smirks but shakes his head, letting Cassian slip out of the penthouse unnoticed.

He takes the long way home, needing the night air and flashing headlights to clear his head. Once he gets off the freeway leading to town, though, he picks up his phone and calls Nesta.

She doesn’t pick up.

On the fourth call that goes unanswered, Cassian gives up. Fine. She doesn’t want to talk to him tonight. But still he finds himself driving past her neighborhood, once, twice, as if he’s listless without being able to talk to her. He has too many feelings he needs to get off his chest, and she’s the first person he always goes to for those things.

Try to consider her feelings.

It’s that thought that forces him to turn around and drive back to the cabin. They’ll both feel better in the morning, anyway. He can find her and talk as soon as the day starts.

It’s past midnight when he finally pulls up to the driveway, and still he’s disappointed to not see Nesta’s car there. Still he’s disappointed to enter an empty cabin.

The Christmas tree they decorated together sits unlit in the corner of the living room, their presents untouched under the fir leaves. Without turning the lights on, Cassian trudges upstairs and heads straight to bed.

Any sleep he finds is short and restless. His eyes shut sometime around three in the morning, and when they next open, early dawn light is streaming in through the windows. Snow flurries gently against the glass.

Giving up on the prospect of genuine rest, Cassian accepts that he’ll have to seek out Nesta with dark circles and a half-functioning brain today.

He already has a list in his mind as he heads downstairs: get coffee and breakfast for Nesta, get dressed, be at her door by the time she wakes at nine.

Then he reaches the foot of the stairs, and realizes none of that is necessary.

Straight out of his dreams, Nesta is sitting cross-legged on the ground before the coffee table, inspecting a puzzle piece in the cutest sweater he’s ever seen.

Cassian freezes with his hand on the banister, wondering if he’s still asleep. He watches her bite her lip intently, trying to fit the puzzle piece into a corner of the puzzle. It doesn’t fit.

“Fuck,” she swears softly, tossing the piece aside. Cassian clears his throat.

Nesta’s head shoots up, her focus broken. “You’re awake.”

“You’re in my house,” he says dumbly.

“That’s what the key you gave me is for, isn’t it?”

Hesitantly, like he’s approaching a wounded bear, Cassian walks farther into the living room. “Are you—I mean, are we…?”

“Use your words, baby.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. She doesn’t seem upset. There’s so much he wants to ask her: did she sleep well? Where did she get her Christmas sweater from, and does it mean she’s secretly been a fan of Christmas all along? Does she want hot chocolate or coffee with her breakfast?

“How was your night?” he settles on. He moves to sit across from her at the coffee table.

“Find where this goes,” Nesta demands, handing him a new puzzle piece and pointing to their nearly finished puzzle.

Cassian obeys, and Nesta talks while he works. “I was pretty pissed when I got home last night,” she says. “I wanted to tell you all about this stupid fight I had with my boyfriend, and how I knew he was right but I was still furious at him, until I remembered that you were my boyfriend, and I didn’t want to see you.”

Cassian pretends to focus on the puzzle, letting Nesta get her words out.

“So Gwyn called to say thank you for her present—you were right, by the way, she loves it—and then we ended up talking the whole night, and I told her everything about my sisters and,” she waves a hand, “the other shit.

“And at one point I realized that I was telling her the stuff I needed to be telling you. So I came here as soon as I hung up with Gwyn.”

Cassian looks up. “When was that?”

Nesta shrugs. “Five in the morning?”

“Nesta,” he scolds. “You’ll fuck up your sleep cycle.”

“Will you let me get to my point, damn it?”

Cassian shuts up and sits back.

Nesta is staring down at the puzzle, fiddling with her fingernails. Carefully selecting her next words like an attorney would. “I wanted to apologize for—the things I said last night. I was projecting my insecurities onto you, and I’m sure you already know it, but that doesn’t make it okay.” She looks up, face serious. “My sisters and I bring out the worst in each other. We always have. But I let that affect how I treated you when you had nothing to do with it.”

“But you were right.” Cassian can’t stay quiet anymore. “I mean, a lot of what you said was wrong, but at the heart of your point you were right.” It took Cassian all night to sift through what Nesta had said, to separate the truth from the meaningless words of hurt. He finally sees it now.

“I should have watched out for you last night, even if I couldn’t claim you as my girlfriend. I know how you are in new environments with new people and I left you to the wolves.” The wolves are his most trusted friends, sure, but they aren’t Nesta’s. And he was an idiot to forget it.

Nesta fixes another puzzle piece into place, and for the first time this morning, true regret passes over her face. “I didn’t enjoy hurting you. I hated every second of it while I was doing it. So as long as you know I didn’t mean any of it, I’ll be fine.”

We were good distractions for each other in your lonely little cabin, but deep down you know we wouldn’t last a day in the real world.

You were sad and desperate for acknowledgement when we first met, and you’re the same way now.

Cassian nods once. “I know,” he says softly. “You could never lie to me.” Even if some of her words had struck a little truer than they should have. Cassian realizes bitterly it’s because her insecurities are the same as his.

“So are you going to tell me about what the real problem was yesterday?” He dares to broach the elephant in the room.

Nesta stiffens, refocusing on the puzzle to avoid his gaze. “I already told you,” she says. “My sisters and I bring out the worst in each other.”

“There’s more to it than that, though.” When Nesta doesn’t respond, he adds, “Feyre told me her side of the story. It probably wasn’t all of it, but if it makes you feel better, I agreed with you.”

Nesta snorts derisively. “She was being unreasonable, but I made it worse. You know that, don’t you?” She raises a brow. “You know how I am.”

Cassian remembers their screaming match from the time he tried to get her a doctor’s appointment, and oddly enough, smiles. “I know you hate it,” he says, “and I know it’s frustrating as hell, but people stop taking your arguments seriously when you start flinging insults. It probably isn’t fair, but you’ve been in a courtroom. You know how it works.”

Nesta grimaces. “Believe me, the future lawyer in me is not proud of how I held up in last night’s fight.”

“Right there.” Cassian slides a section of green pieces over to himself and fits them into place, completing the rolling hills of the landscape scene. There’s only a handful of pieces left, all in the sky area. He waits for Nesta to be ready to speak.

After several moments of working in silence, she says, “My sisters have never really accepted me the way I am. I used to think Elain did back when we were kids, but then I stopped prioritizing her and she stopped understanding.”

Cassian knows Elain is pissed that her once-closest sister no longer cares to talk to her. But what he wants to know is why Nesta stopped answering her calls. Why she pulled away and went into isolation, and wouldn’t come out for anyone until a few short months ago.

Nesta clears her throat. “I was not a well-adjusted kid. I’m not a well-adjusted adult, either, but—I was even worse in my youth. I had a deadbeat dad, who I hated while my sisters adored him. I hated the life we had to live because of him, and I let that hate seep everywhere. Into everything and everyone else.” She blows out a breath and shakes her head. “There was no place closer to hell than that fucking one-bedroom apartment. I hated the person I was in that place—like I had no control over my emotions, my tantrums, my entire self. I was stuck in this childlike state of rage and I couldn’t move on, couldn’t grow up.

“No one could figure out what was wrong with me, so I had to take care of my issues myself. I read more books, I went out more often, I always had headphones in—I learned how to escape. I learned how to limit the destruction. Once I did that, I could care for Elain more openly. I could have civil conversations with Feyre, too. That’s where we went wrong, I think. I gave Feyre hope that I could be a better person, and once she latched onto it, she refused to let go.” Nesta picks at the sleeves of her knit sweater. “She never understood that I was cold and removed just because I was. She always had this belief that deep down, I secretly had a heart of gold and a shit ton of love to give. I never bothered telling her she was wrong, so her expectations of me grew. And so did Elain’s. And then I graduated high school.” She shrugs.

Cassian frowns. “That’s when you left your family and moved here?”

She nods. “The distance helped. For a short time, I thought I was free. No responsibilities or people to answer to. But then I met Tomas—my ex—and Feyre and Elain followed me to Colorado not long after my dad died. And even then I stayed optimistic, because most people would be lucky to have their sisters and boyfriend all in the same place. I thought I could finally have all the relationships a normal person my age was supposed to have if I just put in the effort.” She meets Cassian’s eyes. “I never told you much about Tomas, did I?”

His stomach sinks, but he shakes his head.

“It was not a fun first love. But the only reason I didn’t tell you about it earlier was because I didn’t know how to describe it myself.” She rubs her palms down her thighs, but it isn’t enough to hide their tremble.

“I know what to call it now,” Nesta says. “It was abusive.”

Cassian says nothing. He can’t. But his hands curl into hard fists under the coffee table.

“Lana made me work up to using that word.” She rolls her eyes, like the whole thing annoys and embarrasses her. “He was abusive: physically, verbally, emotionally. I’m not going to go into the details or anything, but it’s what was happening to me during those college years that my sisters needed me to be there for them.”

Cassian would never in a thousand years ask Nesta for information she isn’t ready to give, but in that moment he’s overwhelmed with the need to know everything—every little thing that’s ever been done to her, so he can draw up a list and exact calculated revenge for all of it. His voice is rough against the lump in his throat, out of fury or despair he doesn’t know. “Nesta…”

“I promise I’m almost done.” She holds up a hand.

Take your time. Tell me everything.

“This isn’t about him,” Nesta says. “This is about my sisters. Because even if I hadn’t been stupid enough to let that man waste almost four years of my life, I would have ended up in the same place with Feyre and Elain. They’d still be disappointed when they realized I couldn’t be what they wanted me to be.” She wraps her arms around herself in a hug, and Cassian wishes he’d sat beside her so those could be his arms.

She shakes her head. “I did my best so I wouldn’t be cooped up with them, wouldn’t be lashing out at them… and it still wasn’t enough. They wanted me to be nice, friendly, talkative. So I tried doing that too, even though I hated it. But around the same time things with Tomas started to get unbearable, Feyre found Rhysand and you guys. So now I had to hang out with my sister while she had a group of strangers constantly surrounding her, and go back home to a man who hated me at the end of the day.” She looks up at Cassian then, and her blue-gray gaze hits him with the force of a truck. “As soon as Feyre moved away to Velaris, I saw my way out. I finally broke up with Tomas. I gave up on all my relationships and I let go, and I don’t care if you or anyone else thinks it’s pathetic, or the bare minimum. It’s all I had to give.”

Cassian swallows roughly, unable to find his words. “It’s not pathetic, Nesta,” he finally says. “There’s nothing pathetic about doing what doesn’t come easily to you.”

There’s a million other things he needs to say to her, to make sure that she knows she isn’t stupid, or embarrassing, or not enough. But it all floats right out of his head when she heaves a big, dramatic sigh, as if a great weight has been lifted off her chest. As if Cassian’s measly words were all she needed to hear to feel alright.

She snatches up the final remaining puzzle piece and clicks it into place. “And we’re done,” she declares.

Cassian looks down at the table between them, which is now fully lit by the beaming morning sun outside. His eyes land on an empty space near the corner of the landscape, and his face falls. “There’s a piece missing,” he says.

“No way, where?” Nesta leans closer.

Cassian is already on his hands and knees, checking under and around the table for the missing piece.

“This is all your fault,” Nesta is saying above him. “You bumped into the table that time we were making out and all those pieces went flying.”

“Well, how fucking far could it have gone? Help me find it.” He’s serious now, searching the floor with intent. They can’t leave the puzzle unfinished. It was the only thing he could find in his garage all those months ago that could distract Nesta from anticipating her MRI results. And after the diagnosis, it had been a way to lift her mood, to give the two of them an excuse to spend every evening together—

“Sweetheart, it’s just a puzzle.”

Cassian sits up straight at that. “Just a puzzle?” He narrows his eyes at her.

“Well, it’s either that or an overextended metaphor for our relationship—are you crying?”

“No.” He blinks quickly. If there’s wetness there, he doesn’t know how Nesta glimpsed it.

He’s had a hard twelve hours. Nesta even more so. “I just feel really bad, about last night and everything else.” Because even if she acts like what she just spilled to him isn’t a big deal, he’ll never forget it.

He looks up to find Nesta laughing. Hand-over-her-mouth cackling. Before he can ask what’s wrong with her, she’s climbing up onto the coffee table, breaking up the puzzle and sending pieces scattering as she crawls across it. “Nesta—” he starts to protest.

She drops into his lap, winding her arms and legs around his powerful body. And she leans in and kisses him, long and deep and sweet. His hands settle into the curve of her hips, where they’ve always fit perfectly.

She breaks the kiss to fit her palm to his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she says. She never says that. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Her lips quirk up teasingly, but real guilt from the night before lingers in her eyes. Cassian realizes in that moment that Nesta could never hurt anybody more than she hurts herself.

“Don’t waste your apologies on me.” He nudges her nose with his. “Save them for people who’ll actually need to hear them.”

A real smile starts to bloom on her face. “I’ll try.”

Pride and love take his breath away, but he manages to say, “Thank you. For sharing so much of yourself with me.”

She makes an embarrassed noise and waves him off, but emotion shines in her eyes. Just to spare her, Cassian changes the subject. “Now what in the world are you wearing?”

She glances down at herself, frowning. “You don’t like it?”

“I love it.” The sweater looks hand knit, bright red with a green Christmas tree in the center. Balls of colorful fuzz decorate the tree as ornaments. “I want you to wear it every day,” he says.

“Over my dead body. I’d rather you help me take it off.”

Nesta’s hips feel especially snug against his as heat rushes to his crotch. She smirks like she caught him on a hook and leans in to whisper, “You look tired. Did you stay up thinking about my dress last night?”

Cassian swallows roughly. It might have crossed his mind a few times—not just the dress, but the fact that she had picked it out for him. He didn’t know that Nesta cared about things like that.

She rubs a thumb under his weary and reddened eyes. “After your anger faded, did you think about all the make-up sex we were going to have? Because I did.”

“Nesta,” he groans, dropping his head to rest against her chest. Either she plays him too well or he’s too easy to play, because Cassian is half a second away from damning everything to hell and dragging her to the living room carpet.

Until Nesta’s stomach growls loudly.

That’s when he remembers: it’s Christmas morning, he’s with the love of his life, and they’re both starving and sleep-deprived.

He looks up to find her eyes screwed shut in frustration. Before she can protest, he warns, “Don’t even think about it.” He pats her thighs. “Let’s get some food in you.”

***

Cassian makes them chocolate chip pancakes, and Nesta, feeling clingier than usual today, hangs piggyback off his body the entire time he cooks. She hasn’t slept in almost twenty-four hours, yet she feels like she was born anew this morning.

In the middle of breakfast, Cassian’s phone vibrates. He hardly even glances at it before turning it over.

“Who was it?” Nesta asks through a mouthful of pancakes. She hasn’t asked him about how his own night went, but she expects that his friends will want to call and talk to him at some point today.

“Feyre,” he says without looking at her. “She asked where I went last night.”

“Why’re you ignoring her?” She raises a brow.

Cassian looks a little surprised. “I thought we were mad at her.”

“No.” Nesta sets her fork down. “I’m mad at her. What’s your excuse?”

He shrugs. “Solidarity. I’m mad that you had your Christmas Eve ruined. I know what it took you just to show up there.”

“You’re the only one that knows.” Nesta supposes that not everything has been cleared up with Cassian after all. “Listen,” she tries to soften her blunt tone. “Whatever is between me and my sisters… you don’t need to concern yourself with it. You’ll never have to choose sides between us.”

He watches her closely, carefully. “Even if I want to defend my girlfriend?”

Her stomach flutters at that inconsequential word, but she doesn’t show it. “Even then. Feyre looks at you like an older brother. I’m sure Elain does too, a little bit. Don’t let me get in the way of that.” He probably feels guilty every time he texts Feyre, the loyal bastard.

Cassian looks at his plate, then nods resolutely. “I can do that.” He adds a moment later, “For what it’s worth, I do get where the girls are coming from. Even if they had a shit way of going about it.” His eyes darken as he remembers.

Nesta doesn’t know what he was told about the fight, but she chuckles at his moody face anyway. “I expected you to. You’ve always loved spending time with your family, and you’ve never known anything different. But the reality is this: the closeness you have between you and your brothers isn’t something that can be forced onto every group of siblings. And the more Feyre and Elain try to force it, the more I push against it.”

“It sounds stifling.” His face is open, understanding. “To feel like you’re always too much but never enough.”

Nesta pauses, stunned. Cassian is almost too empathetic sometimes, like he carries a thousand past lives within him. Maybe he spent his time learning Nesta by heart in those lives.

Or maybe she’s getting too damn sentimental. She chokes out a dismissive laugh, going back to her pancakes. “Just text Feyre back. Then we can have the rest of the day to ourselves.”

***

Late morning brings heavy snowfall and a chill that infiltrates the walls of the cabin. The Christmas tree in the living room is lit—something Cassian didn’t notice earlier when he came downstairs to find Nesta in his house. Realizing that she’s the one who lit it up first thing in the morning does something to his chest, but he pushes the feeling down where it can’t scare Nesta away.

The weight of the past day must finally catch up to her, though, because by the time Cassian finishes lighting the fireplace, she’s knocked out asleep on the couch.

“No makeup sex then, Nes?” he says softly. Getting up from the hearth, he goes to pull the fur couch throw over her body. Cassian settles at the end of the couch near her feet, taking care so she doesn’t wake, and picks up his laptop from the coffee table. He’s been slacking with his work ever since he got with Nesta, and he might as well catch up on it now before Rhysand takes notice.

The first email that pops up in his inbox is a corporate reminder about the annual New Year’s Eve fundraiser gala, hosted in some high-class hotel in Denver this year. Cassian reads the email once, twice, three times before reaching for his phone.

Rhys answers on the first ring. “Oh, so you don’t hate us,” he drawls.

“What?” Cassian is confused.

“Because with the way you’ve been acting at family events lately, one would have reason to think you don’t want to be around your family much.”

“Oh—no, this isn’t about that.” Cassian refuses to let Rhys linger on this topic. “I called about the New Year’s party.”

“What about it?” he says. “Other than that tacky hotel.”

Cassian decides to spit it out. “I’m not coming.”

Rhys is stunned silent over the line for a moment. “What do you mean, you’re not coming?” Cassian never misses company events, no matter how much he hates dressing up and driving out to the city to schmooze with donors.

But too many of his holidays have gone to Rhys instead of Nesta this year, and he finds himself unwilling to give more.

“I’ve been stressed as hell lately,” he lies, trying to stay quiet for Nesta. “I’m always the one driving hours to see everyone else, and I can’t go all the way out to Denver for another party. I’m sorry.”

“Bullshit,” Rhys responds. “You have nothing going on at work and nothing going on outside of it. What could you be stressed about?”

Cassian makes a mental note to find a hobby that doesn’t include his brothers, if only so he can use it as an excuse to spend time with his secret girlfriend in the future. For now, he has to settle with the truth. “I can’t tell you.”

It’s a petty card to play, but it’s a valid one. No matter how nosy his family might be, they know how to back off when a line is drawn, no explanation required.

Rhys’s voice softens. “Is it serious? Is it a health issue?”

Cassian nearly laughs, even though he feels bad for making Rhys worry. “No, nothing like that. But I still can’t come.”

“What can I do to make it easier for you?” Rhys tries again. “New Year’s isn’t the same without all of my family in one place.”

Cassian snorts. “Come over to my place then.” He says it half-jokingly, but then Rhys doesn’t answer, as if he’s thinking.

“The gala guest list is too big to fit in the cabin…” he ponders. “But I guess I could have it narrowed down at the last minute. The Mayfairs certainly won’t be happy about it, though.”

Cassian’s eyes widen, and he looks over at Nesta’s sleeping form. “Uh…” He scrambles for something to get him out of this.

“New Year’s at a luxury cabin, all of us reuniting at your home for the first time in months? I love it,” Rhys declares. “Better than fucking Denver, that’s for sure.”

Cassian coughs, then covers it up with a forced chuckle. “I’ll have the place ready by next week.”

The call is over before he knows it, and all he can do is stare at the phone in his hand wondering what the hell just happened.

You didn’t entirely lose, he thinks to himself. You’re spending New Year’s with Nesta.

Yeah—New Year’s with Nesta and his entire family. He drops his head back against the couch and groans quietly.

***

Nesta wakes up late in the afternoon to Cassian presenting her with a mug of eggnog and bad news about New Year’s Eve.

The idea of another party, especially one with her sisters present, so soon after the last one makes Nesta’s very bones ache. But she supposes she’ll just have to take the next week to recover and prepare, because she isn’t missing out on a holiday with Cassian for anything.

The way she’s started romanticizing simple things like the new year should probably alarm her, but it doesn’t.

They sit down to open presents with the TV playing lowly in the background. It’s nothing serious, and Nesta isn’t expecting to get anything much until she unwraps her present.

It’s a vinyl record packaged in an elaborate sleeve with the words Nesta’s Mix etched across it. She slowly pulls the record out of the sleeve, staring at it. “What’s this?”

“It’s called a vinyl.”

She spears him with a look. “I got that. What’s on it?”

Cassian turns sheepish, sprawled out across from her on the carpet. “I stalked your Spotify to figure out what you listen to. Then I made a playlist based off what I thought you’d like and got it turned into vinyl. It’s all new music…” He trails off at the look on her face. “But if you hate it, the B-side has your favorite songs on there. You can listen to it either way.”

“I don’t hate it.” Nesta blinks her burning eyes rapidly, staring down at the gift in her hands. She’s not used to receiving thoughtful gifts—or pricey ones. “Thank you,” she says plainly, trying to let her feelings speak for themselves in those two words. “I love it.” She knows she should be saying more, damn it, but what can she say?

Cassian reaches out to put a hand on her knee, his thumb stroking circles across her leg. She looks up at him and realizes she doesn’t need words. Leaning forward, she lands a kiss on his cheek and can only hope that it’s sufficient. “Where am I going to play it?” she asks.

“I was close to getting you a record player when I remembered I already have one. I’ve never used it in my life.” He looks at her more gently now. “So it’s basically yours.”

Nesta’s chest tightens painfully. Not because he’s giving the record player to her, but because he’s suggesting they own it together.

“My present is going to look so stupid next to yours,” she says quietly.

Cassian grins. “Now I really need to see it.”

Nesta buries her head in her hands in humiliation while he tears open the wrapping paper of his gift, and only looks up when she hears him laugh aloud.

He’s holding a copy of one of Nesta’s favorite romances, and the first of many of her books that he’s ever stolen from her and read. He turns the vintage paperback around in his hands. “I remember this one. I totally had a sex dream about it.” He gazes in reminiscence at the busty blonde on the cover.

Nesta snorts, but scoots closer to him eagerly. “Look inside.”

He flips it open to find dark scribbles along the margins, in every single margin.

“I annotated it,” Nesta says hesitantly. “With my thoughts and analysis on each scene. It’s probably dumb to critically analyze a ninetie’s erotica novel, but I thought you’d find it funny.”

Cassian is flipping through the pages more slowly now, taking his time to read each one. “I don’t think it’s funny,” he says after a moment, his eyes still on the book. “I think it’s more than anything I could have asked for.”

“Well, that’s a bit dramatic for a romance book—”

“Not the book.” He looks up at her with something in his eyes. “It’s all your thoughts.” He looks back at the book in wonder. “Written out for me in detail to keep.”

He starts to smirk, searching for a specific page. “I already know how you feel about the boat scene, but now I need to read about it.”

Nesta makes a noise of protest, grabbing for the book. “Don’t spoil the good parts yet.” She can hardly believe it. He finds her joke present good. “You always spoil the good parts first and get sad about it later.”

He makes a face. “True.” He lowers the book, growing serious. “Nesta.” He clears his throat, and her heart starts pounding. She can hear the words before he says them—

“You’re a really good gift giver.”

Nesta’s breath shudders out of her, in relief or disappointment she doesn’t know. Cassian is still staring at her in amazement, and she can only respond by throwing herself at him, her arms holding him tight.

He doesn’t falter under her weight, but pulls her closer. “Thank you,” he says into her ear.

She pulls back far enough to see him. His beautiful face is outlined with too many emotions for her to read, yet somehow she knows exactly what he’s feeling.

Overwhelmed, she leans in to place a soft kiss above his upper lip, then on his mouth. “Merry Christmas,” she whispers against his lips.

“Merry Christmas, Nesta.”

***

please tell me if you wanna be removed from the taglist so i can make space for other readers!

taglist: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens

#ncssianwrites #nesta archeron #nessian #cassian #a favor #nessian fic

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ourloveisforthelovely · 4 years ago

Text

Surprises (one shot)

Harry Potter AU

Request: Hey I was wondering if you could do a one shot with regulus black and the reader gets pregnant and it’s just like really fluffy

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: T

_________

Positive

You stared at the fourth muggle pregnancy with wide eyes. There was no way denying what this meant. Apparently, Regulus and yourself weren't as careful as the two of you believed. You sat stunned looking at the small pile of positive tests in front of you.

Oh boy, we’ve done it now.

You thought as there was a knock on the other side of the door. Sirius’ voice came from the other side.

“Hey, it's me...again. You’ve been in there a really long time, Y/n. You haven’t fallen in have you?”

Your eyes rolled to the door.

“No, I’m fine. Go away.”

Sirius groaned.

“But I need to go.”

“Go find a bush!”

You snapped. Sirius whined before going back to the kitchen where Remus sat reading the morning newspaper.

“She’s still in there and told me to go away. Can you believe that?”

Remus didn’t look up at his own lover before smirking.

“You have been pestering her every five minutes since she went in there. Sorry, but you get what you get.”

Sirius grumbled about no one liking him at 9 am in the morning as he walked to the refrigerator to look for a snack.

“I hope my brother gets home soon. Y/n is nice to him. He gets that sassy side under control. Maybe he can get her to come out of the bathroom.”

“Why is she in the bathroom?”

Sirius spun around as Regulus put his coat down. Regulus had been out on a job for the past week and a half.

“I don’t know but I need to go and she won’t get out of there. Go fix your girlfriend. She’s been mean to me and I have been nothing but delightful.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. He knew all about Sirius’ version of “delightful.” That means “I’m going to drive you nuts until you want to murder me.” If Sirius annoyed you, the most patient and kind person that Regulus knew, then he had done something stupid to deserve it.

“I’m sure that you have.”

Regulus replied before going upstairs. He gently knocked on the door.

“Get lost, Sirius!”

You immediately snapped. Regulus grinned. You were about to change your tune really quick when he spoke.

“Not Sirius but if you want me to leave again…”

You were silent for a moment before Regulus heard a bunch of things being moved around in the bathroom before the door opened.

“Reggie!”

You squealed his name before making a mad dash for him. Regulus wrapped his arms around you and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You looked exhausted and definitely a bit out of character. For it being almost noon, you were still in your pajamas.

“Are you okay, love? You look a bit peaky.”

Regulus commented as he took your face in his hands to try to figure out if you were getting ill. You seemed fine the previous evening when he spoke to you.

You sighed, knowing that you needed to tell him. Regulus was going to figure it out sooner or later anyway. There was only so long that you could hide this particular secret.

“I need to talk to you...alone.”

You wrapped your hand around Regulus’ wrist and tugged him into your bedroom as Sirius made a wide-open path to the bathroom.

“Thank Merlin!”

Regulus rolled his eyes at his older brother before closing the bedroom door behind him. He internally thought about how difficult it was living with Sirius again and wondered how he handled growing up with the other man.

Turning his attention back to you, Regulus titled his head as you started pacing the room.

“So are you going to tell me what is wrong or do I need to start guessing?”

You stopped pacing and thought about how to break the “happy news” to your very unsuspecting boyfriend. The two of you hadn’t discussed having a child in the slightest. Was Regulus going to be angry? What if he decided that he didn’t want anything to do with having a child?

Come on, Y/n. That isn’t the type of man that Regulus is.

You chided yourself before taking a breath and placing all four tests in Regulus’ hand. He looked a bit confused as he gazed at the sticks. You automatically shook your head realizing that he had no idea what the hell you had given him.

“Positive? What’s positive?”

Regulus questioned as his dark eyes rolled up to you for an answer. You couldn’t help but wonder if your baby-to-be would have his father’s eyes? A better question was how were you so 100% the baby was a boy?

“Y/n?”

Regulus’ soft voice pulled you from your now pleasant thoughts. You were surprised that you were so suddenly thrilled with the idea of what was happening to you.

“Those are muggle pregnancy tests.”

Regulus blinked a few times as he looked back down.

“Oh...OH! Oh?”

You couldn’t help but smile as his mouth dropped.

“Yes.”

You had hoped that you would be able to say more but you suddenly couldn’t speak as Regulus started looking at the multiple tests again.

“We’re having a baby?”

Regulus questioned softy. He knew this was getting a bit redundant but he wanted to make sure that he was hearing everything correctly.

“Yes...are you upset? I know that it isn’t a good time with this war and all...I suppose the pills that I was taking just didn’t do their job…”

Regulus tossed the tests on the dresser before pulling you back against him. He snuggled his face against yours breathing in the scent of your perfume. This was the last thing that Regulus was expecting.

In all actuality, Regulus never considered the thought of having a child. He never thought that he would be “good enough.” Clearly, his own father was no pristine example of what a father should be. Orion Black left everything to Walburga. If Sirius or Regulus made the slightest peep of noise when Orion was home, they were getting screamed at or hit over the head with a hex. There was no bonding whatsoever.

His idea of being a father was showing Regulus and Sirius off at family or business functions. He didn’t think that it was important to turn up to any of his son’s events or their births, for the record. If he even knew what his son’s names were or anything about them then it would be a shock for everyone.

Maybe, deep down, Regulus had a fear of being like his father if he had children of his own. What if he didn’t know what to do with the kid or found the child annoying? It wasn’t like he could just “send the kid back.”

My baby will be different...this baby will be half Y/n. Everything about her is wonderful so this baby must be wonderful too...I’m not my father. I’m not my father.

Regulus thought before finally being able to speak. He stood up enough to smile down at you.

“I’m happy! Beyond words, happy! It doesn’t matter if it's a bad time...it's a good time. You know that I’ll take care of both of you.”

You smiled. Normally you would have made some sassy comment that you were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. You would just need his help when it came to caring for the child. Today, however, Regulus’ soft comment of promising to take care of you struck a new place that even you were surprised that you had.

“I like the sound of that.”

Regulus tucked your head under his chin and enjoyed the quiet closeness of the moment. You wrapped your arms around his back, tightening your grasp on his body. For the first time that day, you were finally starting to feel better. After being queasy the past few days, you were relieved to not want to throw your guts up for once.

It was all nerves. You were only afraid to see how Regulus would react. Now everything will be fine.

You thought as Regulus gently tugged you toward the bed. He barely laid down before nestling back against you. Regulus gently stroked a hand over your stomach.

“So is the baby like the size of a bean or something?”

You shrugged.

“I’m not sure. I suppose we will find out when I have an appointment with a healer.”

“How are you feeling? I noticed that you were pale when you stepped out of the bathroom.”

You laid your head on his shoulder wanting to preserve the closeness. Suddenly you were very sleepy for the first time in a few days.

“Just a little queasy.”

Regulus wrapped an arm around you feeling more peaceful than he had in a long time. Even if the situation at hand was going to be a rough one, he knew that it would be okay since it was with you.

“I guess my pullout game isn’t as good as I thought.”

You rolled your eyes before snuggling closer.

“I guess not.”

_____

@amelie-black @truly-insatiable @fandomsxxregulus @realgaytrash @spiderxalmighty @lucasfilms77 @whymyparentscheckmyphone @teletubiswszpilkach @hazncalsgal @quuenofblacks @acciosiriusblack @fific7 @bennyberry @jessyballet @knreidy1 @rubyroscoe1 @criminalyetminimal @exhsle @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @hankypranky @summer-novak @shaylybaby2032 @emiwrites3reads @li0nh34rt @tas898 @marichromatic @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @stuckinsaudi1 @shitfaceddaniel @shitfaceddaniel @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @deanwherescas @wontlookaway

#Regulus Black #Regulus Black x Reader #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #request fic #Regulus Black request fic #timothee chalamet as regulus black #ben barnes as sirius black #andrew garfield as remus lupin #regulus x reader #reader x regulus #harry potter au #annon request #regulus arcturus black #sirius orion black #the ancient and noble house of black #Surprises #one shot #update

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disasterfandoms · 4 years ago

Text

This is Your Home Now ~ The Ryders x teen!reader imagine

@atjafshelby requested: “Okay so I was thinking maybe a teenage reader who was like Judd as a child, gets in trouble and needs help and stuff. But maybe she lives on her own so Grace and Judd take her in and try to help her? No rush though, thank you!!❤️”

A/N: I appreciate you sending me a complex ask. I’ll be honest, I had no idea how i was going to write this one when I first saw it. I tweaked it a tiny bit, and instead of being on their own the reader is in a group home. This may be part 1 if anyone is interested in part 2?

TW: foster care, mentions of violence, mentions of therapy.

Your POV:

Sitting in the principal’s office, you began to take in the various lame quotes around the room. “You miss 100% of the chances you don’t take” sure, whatever.

“You have to look through the rain to see the rainbow” this has to be the worst one of all. What rainbow? and why go through hell to be able to see a prism of light in the sky?

The door shuts loudly, pulling you from your thoughts. You roll your eyes when you see your social worker walking in with the principal.

“So, Y/N, you’ve been getting into more fights recently, including earlier today when you struck another student in the face for saying something about your family,” your principal read from the file, then looked up at you, “Anything you’d like to say for yourself?”

”yeah, they deserved it,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes at him again. Everyone here should know by now the topic of your parents is off limits, especially what he said about them.

“Just because someone says something you don’t like doesn’t mean you can assault them.” Your social worker scolded, probably hating her life for having to deal with you.

They went on lecturing you for another 20 minutes, but at that point you zoned out, focusing on the view out the window behind your principal. It was sunny outside, the trees on the outskirts of school grounds blowing slightly with the wind. You could see people walking out there, and instantly wanted to be anywhere but here, supposedly listening to how you’re a screw-up and if you “don’t get your act together” you’ll “never have a future.”

“Y/n, what do you think about the compromise?”

You snapped your head to the principal, trying to figure out what all you missed in the last few minutes so you could figure out to answer appropriately. You studied his face, before deciding agreeing would be the quickest road. How wrong you were, you wouldn’t have the faintest idea until an hour later.

“Sounds good to me, as long as I can go back to class. Ms. Neal is teaching about the wage gap and I want to see conservative boys lose their ever-loving mind.” you smiled, hoping they buy it for now. They both nod their heads, then you stand up to leave.

“I’ll see you after school, Y/N,” your social worker spoke confidently, seemingly proud of herself for her part in the supposed compromise. With that, you left the two adults to work out the details amongst themselves.

Going to Ms. Neal’s class quickly, you started to wonder what you agreed to. It had to be something significant if you weren’t getting in trouble for giving the star of the baseball team a black eye, which he deserved, by the way.

Class went by as a blur, your attention focusing in and out on class, except when it came time to debate your stance on the issue of the class. You loved to argue, especially with privileged, snotty teens who don’t know how well they had it. You were good at it too, you could be a lawyer if you had any shot of a successful life.

Sooner than you’d like, class was over, and you started to get up and leave. You were too occupied with making sure you had everything that you didn’t realize you were making a beeline into your social worker.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!”

“Hey, watch it!” You both say simultaneously, backing up and looking at who ran into you.

“Oh, there you are Y/N! Come on, I’m driving you back to the home to pack up your things” She signaled with her hand to come with her, and you obliged, confused.

“Pack my things? Why?” You asked while walking to your car. You know you’ve been in trouble recently, but being kicked out of the group home seemed a little extreme.

“Did you listen to the compromise at all when were talking about it? Before you agreed to it?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

“Not really, just figured agreeing would get me in the least trouble,” you replied, and you could see her smile a little as she shook her head at you.

“This last fight isn’t going on your permanent record, as long as you get anger management classes, and move out of the group home and into a foster situation with two loving people who know how to handle situations like yours,”

“Crap, I really should listen more.” You sighed and leaned your head on the window. You didn’t see how moving you out of the group home would help at all, it’s more change and more adjustment, and you were tired of both.

“Want to know about the couple?” You social worker asked you, but you barely heard her. You shook your head and put a headphone in, hoping this wasn’t a mistake.

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Judd’s POV:

“Are we sure about this, Gracie?” Judd asks, pacing between the living room and the kitchen, pausing every now and then to look at his wife. He stopped, turned to her, and rubbed his face before putting both hands behind his head, cradling it as he thinks about everything that could go wrong with this.

He knew they both wanted kids, and adoption seemed to be their only hope due to ther infertility troubles. But still, he argued to himself, a teenager? With this kid’s anger management issues, stubbornness, and troubled past, this isn’t what he necessarily had in mind.

“Yes, Judd, we’re sure. This kid needs our help, and a stable home to thrive. I understand you’re nervous, I am too, but we’ve been doing our research and interviewing with child protective services for months, and now they’re gracing us with a child that needs us.” Grace had walked over to him at this point, and taken his hands into hers. He looked into those beautiful, rust colored eyes of hers and took a deep breath. He knew she was right, she usually is, but he was still nervous.

He wrapped his arms around her, leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. “I love you,” he whispered. She looked up at him, grabbed the nape of his neck, and kissed him lovingly. After a few seconds, she broke away, and whispered, “I love you too, handsome.”

Before anything could further along, the doorbell rang. The two looked at each other, took a deep breath, and walked to the door. Grace opened the door, and they both saw the social worker, Malia, with a teenager that looked less than happy to be on their doorstep.

Judd quickly scanned the teen, noticing the frown on their face and the bruised knuckles they were sporting on their right hand. They had a suitcase in the other hand, and looked short in stature. Everyone looks short to Judd, though.

“Hi Malia, Y/N, please come in.” Grace states, welcoming their guest and their now-forster child into their home. Once the social worker guided Y/N in, the pair sat on the couch while Judd and Grace sat on the other, clasping their hands together and looking at the child who’ll be staying with them, being nurtured by them, for next couple years.

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Your POV:

The house is nice, you thought to yourself as you sit on the couch, waiting for someone to speak to you. You look at them, whose names you aren’t aware of yet, and study their features. The man was tall, and you can tell he’s been working for a while due to his build and the scratches and burns on his hands. The woman is much smaller, and seems softer, but you can tell they love each other just by the way they can’t keep their hands off each other.

“Judd, Grace, this is Y/N. Now, I know the department have given you their file, but do you have any questions about their history, or anything I can answer?” Malia asked, putting her hands in her lap. At least you know their names now, you thought to yourself.

“I don’t think so, ma’am. You’re welcome to stay for supper, though. Y?N, is there any allergies or diet restrictions we need to know about?” The woman, Grace, you remind yourself, asks. She smiles at you as she asks, and she has a pretty smile. You start to wonder why they wanted to take in someone like you.

“No ma’am, thank you for asking though. Can one of y’all show me to my room, though? I’d like to unpack and start on homework before supper.” You try to be polite, not knowing who they are once the social worker. Better to be safe than sorry, right?

“Of course, I’ll show you up there, and let you get settled.” Judd offers, standing up to guide you to where you’ll sleep.

You go up the stairs, and are impressed by what you see. This is better than the group home, at the very least. You head down the corridor he’s taking you through, and walk into a moderately sized room that had a full-sized bed, two nightstands, a dresser, closet, desk with a chair, and a door to what you assume is a bathroom.

“Take all the time you need to settle in. This weekend we’ll all go shopping and you can buy decorations for your room. Once supper is ready, we’ll call you downstairs to eat, get to know each other better. Alright?” He asked, looking as if he expected you to answer. You quickly nodded, and got to putting away your things and taking in the space. Maybe you actually belong here.

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Once supper was ready, you were called down, you stumbled down the kitchen, washed your hands, and then took a seat at the table. Malia had left, hopefully to bother another kid and leave you alone, and you sat there quietly, eating the dinner they prepared.

“So, Y/N, is there any hobbies you enjoy? Anything we can look into getting you, like an easel or a video game?” Grace asks, making conversation.

“Why do you care? It’s not like I’m your kid,” You rolled your eyes, then looked down and played with your food. You wouldn’t let yourself get attached to the idea of having people truly care about you, especially not now.

“Hey, you-” Judd started to raise his voice, but Grace cut him off with holding her index finger up to him, then spoke.

“Y/N, I know this is all too new for you still. You don’t know us, you do not know our intentions, and you’re past makes it especially hard for you to believe anyone would love you and care for you. But, and I mean this, this is your home now, Y/N, and we will not abandon you, no matter the obstacles ahead,” she paused, and looked to her husband. Judd nodded, and took a deep breath.

“Y/N, I was just like you when I was your age. I was going through somethin’, and it left me violent and not knowing who to trust. We want you here so we can help you through the hurt you’ve been through, and make you into the young adult we can already see inside you. We have two rules, don’t disrespect us, and be honest with us. Got it?”

“Got it,” you spoke quietly. The rest of the dinner was quiet, and afterwards you went upstairs to your room, lying on the bed, thinking about how this is going to be good for you. Maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.

#grace ryder x judd ryder #judd ryder #grace ryder #teen!reader #reader insert #writing #9-1-1 lone star #911 lone star #the ryders x teen!reader #grace x judd #apologies if this is god awful

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pinkplantmakesstuff · 3 years ago

Text

[Sat opposite me is none other then The Commander himself. We are in my office; surrounded by stacks of notebooks and stationary, this is no battlefield and it's clear The Commander is currently out of his depth.

I will admit I was shocked when he agreed to an interview; the Commander is infamously secretive about his private life and personal affairs, and there are terrible rumours about his foul temper and monstrous appearance. Sat opposite me however, is a young, world-weary man]

Exclusive interview continues under the Read More...

Let's start with some introductory questions, can you introduce yourself?

[There's a pause before he finally speaks, he's surprisingly soft spoken.] My name's Alec. [He looks at me, and I have to prompt him for more] Oh I see. Uh people refer to me as the Commander, but I'm, not really? I don't, well I don't belong to the Pact anymore? But apparently the title stuck. And I just, end up helpin' with stuff still. [He shifts uncomfortably, and I need to know what brought him to my office today, why he's changed his mind before I continue with the more personal questions.]

So, Commander, what's changed? Why an interview now? After refusing to talk to any journalists for so long, what caused this change of heart?

[There's a another long pause.] Well, I mean...a couple of people told me it might be...good for appearances, to you know talk to one of you people, instead of just... lettin' everyone make stuff up about me all the time. [I assume he means the rumours that make up most of his public perception - like the idea his mouth is full of flesh-tearing fangs- which I can now confirm to be false. He may have pointed fangs but they are small, and he seems more interested in gnawing at his own lip.] Oh, uh and you can just call me Alec I guess.

Well thank you for choosing to speak to me Comman-Alec, now lets move onto the more personal stuff; what is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?

[This seems to catch him off guard.] That, that is kind of, personal. [He grimaces and draws his arm tightly across his chest. "You said you didn't want people to make stuff up about you anymore, why don't you tell people so they know the real you."] I, well, ok. [He gives a defeated sigh but it seems I've swayed him around for now at least] Uh I'm a guy and I like other men. And, uh, there, might be someone. He's...[Alec mulls over his words for a minute, the "fearsome" fangs nibbling at his own mouth again] well he's like, there's a connection? It's hard to explain. ["You've just disappointed many potential suitors I suspect!" At this he lets out a surprised laugh, as if he can't believe what I said. "Is this potential someone your fearsome companion you've been rumoured to be spotted with? With fangs and horns even greater then your own?" At this he frowns, folding his arm in again.] He's not fearsome he's just, well he's great. [I've clearly struck a nerve so I choose to move on.]

Where and when were you born?

[Another one-armed shrug.] Dunno. Some small place. Don't remember it, don't care. And uh, I'm like, well I think I'm twenty? Something like that I don't know my birthday. I think it's in Winter. [At this it was mine turn to let out an incredulous laugh - which I admit was unprofessional of me. "I knew you seemed young but, only twenty? That's, you've done a lot for someone so young." There's another, lengthier pause.] S'pose so. [He doesn't comment on this further.]

Here's something you should know plenty about! What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

[He narrows his eyes at me, and then tilts his head thoughtfully. For a moment I thought he was going to demonstrate his magical capabilities I've heard so much about but then he simply shakes his head, a if deciding against it.] Magic. People don't like it. ["Yes I've heard the rumours of your powerful necromancy, as well as the tales of you being able to transform-" He cuts me off] I fight with magic. [Again I've struck another nerve, but I don't blame him. The rumour-mill has been particularly unkind to this young man, and it's no secret how many people view darker aspects of magic unfavourably.]

Lastly, for these introduction questions, are you happy?

[We sit there in silence for several minutes, and it seems he has no answer for me. I decide to move on quickly.]

Let's move onto the people in your life! What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

Uh, I don't. Well my family is, well she's a baker. We grew up together. And V-my... partner? [He catches himself, clearly trying to protect keep them anonymous.] I don't have any other family I guess. But, I'd do anythin' to keep them safe. [I don't push further but it's clear the Commander's family means as much to him as the next person. Something the rumours have lead people to believe is not the case.]

Have you ever ran away from home?

Yeah. When I was a kid. My friend - the baker. We left together. it was better after that. [Alec doesn't elaborate further to begin with, before realising he's only told me part of it.] From an orphanage I mean - it's the same ol' story about kids losin' family to the Risen then being taken into care when I was a baby. We hated it. We got old enough. We ran away.

You mentioned you have a partner, this mysterious V. Would you consider marriage or having children?

[Alec's demeanour almost doesn't change, but I've not spend years in journalism and not learnt how to read people. This question has clearly flustered the young commander.] Uhh, that's, kind of personal. I don't think about stuff like that? I, well it's just nice having someone around more now. [I was about to move on before he interrupts.] But, kids are good, if, I think I'd have liked too, if things had been different.

Let's talk about some juicy gossip! Do you secretly hate one of your friend?

What? [This clearly catches him off-guard, before letting out a bitter laugh.] No. I haven't got enough of those to secretly hate one of 'em. Plenty of people have made it clear how much they hate me though. I wouldn't be surprised if more of them secretly hated me too. [Another short pause, he shifts in his seat and I catch a peek at the small wings sticking out oh his back.] I'm too tired to hate any of them, especially secretly.

I see, so which friend knows everything about you?

[Almost subconsciously he touches his horns, they are short, stubby things.] I don't think, I have- maybe the two I mentioned earlier know the most. It's hard to talk about things. ["Hmm I'd picked up on that." At this he laughs, the minor tension that had started building up eased slightly.] Yeah I'm not great at words and stuff.

The next set of questions are asked my fans! Are you literate? Have you been to school?

Fans? [He shakes his head in disbelief before leaning back in his chair, hair obscuring his face slightly.] The orphanage wasn't much for teachin'. Next question. [I resist the urge to press further.]

The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

[He seems to spend some time thinking this one over before shaking his head.] Dunno. I guess I just assume most of the people I meet won't stick around long enough to be friends and...well I guess in a way they don't get to stick around I've....I've lost a lot of people. I guess that counts right? [He laughs slightly at this, but it isn't a happy one. Even the commander, who is oft described as cold is clearly affected by the ongoing tragedies he seeks to help stop.]

What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

I don't think I realised Sylvari could glow for like, ages. [He puts his hand up to his face slightly but he smiles slightly as he speaks, and it's only now I've realised he's without his infamous blind-fold. I mention this but he shrugs it off.] I still 'ave it. I just, don't want to wear it right now.

Do you have mental health or physical issues?

[He waves the stump of his missing arm, bandages still visible. Everyone's already heard about the fight against the fearsome Jungle dragon that cost him his arm, as well as the Marshall of The Pact .] Does this count? [He makes no mention of his mental health so I try to press further.] I'm fine.

What is your current main goal?

[Alec shakes his head, before shrugging again.] I'm not gonna talk about stuff like that, in case it puts people at risk, it's, well it's stuff that needs doing to help people.

Let's move onto something easy! Some choices! Drink or food?

Food. I like cooking. ["Really? The famous Commander, known and feared on the battlefield, enjoys being in a kitchen?" He smiles slightly and nods.] It's just nice y'know. I like making things a lot.

Cats or dogs?

Cats. Their senses are easier to see through and they can fit in smaller places. [Before I can ask what he means he continues.] I would like a pet one too I think.

Early bird or night owl?

I prefer getting up early, it means I have longer in the day to get stuff done.

Optimist or pessimist?

[He frowns again.] Don't know. I don't think things are ever gonna go very well. [He merely shrugs when I point out that he sounds like a pessimist.]

Sassy or sarcastic?

I wouldn't say I'm either to be honest. ["There have been reports from Queen Jenna's courts that you have been known to make the occasional sarcastic, scathing remark."] Well there are also reports I've got a huge dragon tail but that don't make it true either. [I don't point out that dry remark he made.]

You'll be pleased Alec, we are finally finishing up! Finally it's time for some "Have you evers". Lets start with have you ever been caught sneaking out?

Nope. I used to be unnoticeable, though, that's changed a...little. [He gestures to himself in what I am assuming is reference to his small wings and horns] Like I said earlier though, magic.

Broke a bone?

Nope not that either. ["Really? With your work on the field and from the battles I've heard, you've truly never broken a bone?] I guess that's just the one thing I got goin' for me I guess.

Received flowers?

I don't think so? Wait yeah maybe but they are from people I don't really know as thanks which is nice I guess- I give 'em to...my baker friend coz she likes to display them in her shop.

Ghosted someone?

[There's another pause, it seemed he'd been slowly getting used to speaking to me but this one has him quiet again.] Not....intentionally. Keepin' in contact is hard when you're constantly travelling. And writing is... not one of my greatest talents.

Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

Uhh to be honest I probably wouldn't realise it was a joke sometimes', and if I did and I don't get it then maybe they should have told a better joke. [He shrugs and I can't help but laugh at his honesty]

[There you have it readers, an EXCLUSIVE interview with the feared Commander himself. Nothing like the rumours who describe him as "The Beast", The Commander is just another war-weary fighter trying to do what's right.]

Thank you @the-mystic-dragon for tagging me this was so much fun to write! (Even if it took like, an hour, and I massively changed the format XD) This is written as if it's around mid to late lws3 and before PoF as well as in the au with Vasche! Vasche is @resonatingfern's wonderful character and Alec's "mysterious partner" in this. In terms of tagging, if ya wanna do one go ahead! Though I did change the format quite a bit oops XD

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #my writing #alec shadowdancer #gw2 writing

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mandowh0re · 4 years ago

Text

Remember Me

Chapter 2

Summary: While cleaning up the timelines that he broke, Loki meets and inevitably loses the one person that’s understood him in life. But he’s not losing you without a fight.

A/N: Another chapter within a week?? More likely than you think! Beta'd by the ever beautiful @edgyvege. Go show her some love!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2303

Happy Reading!

Loki’s lying in his bed, clutching the book you had loaned him close to his chest.

He finished the book the first night of having it, and he regrets not pacing himself because he still has six days before he can see you again and isn’t sure how to keep himself sane until then. He doesn’t have much to his name anymore, having missed eleven years of his life and his home having been destroyed. So it’s not like he can turn to his favorite books or activities.

The Avengers had reluctantly agreed, mostly out of guilt because of Thor’s previous loss, to let Loki stay in the compound under the condition that he did not leave, did not use his magic unsupervised, and did not cause chaos. It had been an incredibly difficult adjustment, especially on his part, but he was willing to do whatever it took to see you again. So he did not complain even once.

When Loki had returned from timeline 656, the timeline in which he first met you, he was broken but determined. He was on a mission and refused to get distracted until his job was done. He had to find you again. He didn’t know what he was going to do if he didn’t.

So when Mobius agreed to bring Loki to this point of the timeline, he had given Loki the information to be able to find you.

You were his insurance, a way to make sure Loki stayed in his place.

So after two weeks of near perfect behavior and constant sulking from the trickster, Steve and Tony agreed that Loki could leave the compound, though only under Thor’s supervision.

When he first saw you again in that tiny bookstore, he felt like he had been hit in the chest by Thor’s hammer. He thought he was prepared to see you again. Your bright eyes and soft lips were all he could think about the past several months. But apparently, he wasn’t prepared in the slightest.

But you being you, you gave him a sweet smile and kindly helped him find the book you had told him about when the two of you had first met back in timeline 656. Because no matter the timeline, you were always one to help others.

And then you did something he wasn’t expecting. The possibility wasn’t even on his radar. You gave him your own copy to read, telling him it was so he had to come back and see you. He felt his chest constrict in that moment, yet at the same time a spark of hope exploded inside of him. It was something that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Then when you asked him for his name, his heart broke again.

He had forgotten to even give you his name, because he had already known yours. Your name, your scent, your favorite laugh, your body.

He knew it all.

Yet you knew nothing about him. And after telling you his name, he was afraid you’d remember what he’d done to your city all those years ago. That you’d be afraid of him and reject him, just like most everyone else in his life. He wouldn’t blame you. He believed himself a monster, just like everyone else did.

But he kept himself from spiraling into his dark thoughts with the sole knowledge that the version of you in timeline 656 wasn’t scared of him. Not even before he explained to you what had really happened.

No, you had accepted him, helped him, and eventually loved him.

He could only hope that this version of you could do the same.

***

The day you met Loki, you were a bit shell shocked.

He left almost immediately after telling you his name, and you watched as he met up with a much larger blonde man before walking away. It took your brain one too many seconds to realize the blonde was Thor, making Loki the actual Loki. The Loki that reigned chaos and destruction to your beloved city all those years ago.

A few pieces of information struck you throughout the day, startling you each time:

Number one; you had actually hit on a literal god. The God of Mischief, no less.

Number two; he actually flirted back! What the fuck?

Number three; he never asked for your name.

And number four; you weren’t scared of him. More than that, you weren’t even angry with him.

You couldn’t for the life of you figure out why. Why he didn’t intimidate you. Why you felt as if you understood him. Or why you felt like you knew him, more intimately than just having heard of him. You had only spoken to the man once, for crying out loud.

The week passes by incredibly slowly, and every time you think about your interaction or of seeing Loki again, butterflies come to life in your belly and a smile slowly comes across your face.

But today is finally the day.

It’s a quarter past eleven when the door to the shop opens, the small wind chime signaling someone had entered. You look up from your current read and see Loki taking a few short steps to the counter. He’s dressed to the nines again, wearing a dark grey suit with minimal green accents.

He looks positively delicious, and you curse yourself for letting that thought slip. You slide your bookmark into your novel before setting it on a small shelf behind you.

“Hey! You came back!” You say, your voice a few pitches higher than usual. You really weren’t expecting him to actually return the book himself. In fact, you weren’t sure what you expected at all.

He nods, “Of course, darling. I wanted to see you again,” his voice is deep and his eyes are trained on yours, “And discuss the book, obviously,” He lifts the loved copy in his hand, held between his nimble fingers.

Warmth blooms in your chest and you smile shyly. Your eyes flicker to the window where you saw Thor waiting last week.

“Where’s your chaperone?”

Loki raises a brow, glancing to the window next to him.

“I saw Thor meet you when you left last week.”

Realization dawns on Loki’s face, “Ah, yes. I must be accompanied by my brother at all times outside of the Avengers Compound. It is a term of my arrangement.”

“Arrangement?” You ask, cocking your head slightly.

For a moment, Loki falters. He’s said too much, explaining his situation could cause more questions to arise, and he did not need that right now. Because how in the nine realms would he answer them?

So instead of answering, he sets the book on the counter in between the two of you and smiles, “Nothing for you to concern yourself, dear. I would much rather talk about the blatant misinformation contained in this book.”

His tone is light and playful, so you laugh and pull the book closer to you, “Misinformation? You mean to tell me that you didn’t give birth to a horse?”

Loki rolls his eyes, “Gods, no! I did no such thing. Nor am I the father of Fenrir, Jormungandr, or Hela.” He makes a disgusted face.

“That’s a shame,” You fake pout, “You just ruined my favorite book for me.”

He scoffs, “Darling, I am the living, breathing version of the character in your book. How could a novel be more interesting than the real deal?”

You look at him, a mischievous glint in your eye, and Loki feels his heart jump in his throat. He’s seen that look before. The way your nose crinkles just slightly, causing your eyebrows to scrunch, barely noticeable. There’s a sparkle in your eye, one that tells Loki every time that you’re up to no good.

It was one of the many reasons he fell so hard for you.

“You’re very handsome, I’ll give you that. But I just think Book Loki has more layers. Ya know?”

Normally, if you had made a comment like that, Loki would have pinned you against a wall and put you in your place.

But that was another time. One that Loki desperately hoped would come to him once more.

“Well, I think that if you come to know me better, you shall see I am much more… Complex than you humans have made me out to be.” His voice has lowered a few tones, sweet and smooth like honey.

He’s closer now, leaning over with his forearms on the counter, and you feel a warmth spread across your belly. You curse yourself and discreetly press your thighs together.

But unbeknownst to you, Loki knew every single one of your mannerisms, quirks, and habits. And by default, he saw the little movement you made, and had to use his glamour to hide the way his body reacted.

Conversation flowed from there, banter flying back and forth, your quick wit almost matching his.

It somehow felt normal to you. Comfortable. It was bizarre and pleasant at the same time.

But for Loki, it was just a painful reminder of what he lost so many months ago.

Before he knew it, there was a single knock against the front window, signaling that his time was up. The both of you glanced up to see Thor, dressed in jeans and a casual cotton jacket, peeking inside.

Loki sighs, “While I wish I could stay longer and chat, I fear I must take my leave.” He stands from the chair you had pulled up next to you and straightens his jacket.

Your heart drops slightly, not wanting him to leave, and you stand with him.

“Well, how about I give you another book to read?”

“I was already planning on coming back,” He smirks, tilting slightly downward, “But I shan’t turn down a chance to read a book.”

“Good, because I love this one too.” You tell him, grabbing the book from your stash. You rip a piece of receipt paper from the small printer and quickly scribble on it, then tuck it into the front cover.

“And my name is Y/N, by the way. I didn’t get a chance to tell you last week.”

Loki smiles and takes the book from you, walking towards the door.

“Well, Y/N, it has been a pleasure. I shall see you again next week.”

***

“Brother, I see you have another book.” Thor says as he moves to walk alongside Loki, who was already reading the book summary.

Loki only makes a hum of acknowledgment, but doesn’t say anything.

They walk in silence towards the secluded alley where Loki can transport them back to the compound without curious eyes.

The silence is comfortable, yet eerie. Thor is still recovering from the shock of having Loki back, though it wasn’t the same Loki he lost on that forsaken ship.

And Loki… He’s just trying to wrap his head around everything that has happened. Everything he missed because he jumped from 2012 to 2021. He didn’t get to say goodbye to Frigga. He didn’t get to have a last look at Asgard. And now the one woman Loki is sure he cannot live without, doesn’t remember him.

They get back to the compound without incident, and Loki heads back to his room like he always does, choosing to interact with the Avengers as little as possible, lest there be a fight.

He tilts his head up slightly, eyes screwed shut and fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, “Friday, is it? Where is the spider child?”

“Peter is in the penthouse. Would you like me to relay a message to him?”

Loki bites his lip. Is he really going to do this?

Yes, he supposes he is.

“Can you ask him to come to my quarters?”

“Of course.”

Loki paces, waiting for Peter. After several minutes, there’s a tentative knock at the door.

“Come in.”

It opens slowly, revealing a confused Peter.

“Hey, Friday said you asked for me?”

“Yes.” Loki nods, then hands the boy a small piece of paper.

The same paper you put into the book earlier in the day.

Peter, now fully in the room, takes the paper and shoots a curious glance at Loki, before reading.

I don’t know if you have a cell phone, or even know what one is.

But if you do, feel free to text or call me :)

555-555-5555

-Y/N

“If you tell anyone about this, I shall have your head.” Loki hisses, but there’s no heat behind it. Peter is one of the few humans Loki cares about dearly. The little shit had somehow managed to weasel his way into Loki’s notoriously cold heart within the first week.

And Peter knew this.

“Yeah, yeah,” He smirks, “Why are you showing it to me in the first place?”

“While I know what a cell phone is, I am unsure about how to acquire one. That is where you come in.”

Peter’s eyes light up, “Oh, this is going to be so much fun!”

Loki crosses his arms, fearing he may come to regret this.

***

“What do you want?”

“It’s been a while. Nice hearing your voice.”

“The feeling isn’t mutual.”

“Ouch.”

“Answer my question.”

“I want you to join us, of course. Thought that was clear by now.”

“Fuck off.”

“Well, figured I’d try... Anyways, I received word that Loki is back on Earth.”

“Not sure why you think I care, or how this concerns me.”

“I would like for you to bring him in.”

“I don’t work for you. Use your own goons.”

“He’s protected by Thor, and the Avengers by default. But you could easily-”

“Like I said. I don’t work for you. Why don’t you try intimidating one of your other experiments?”

“Star-”

“That’s not my name. Goodbye.”

***

Remember Me Taglist: @idunnomayn @savinasavers @stardust-walker @evelyn-4034 @dazedkrosupreme @sophlubbwriting

Permanent Taglist: @a-place-to-blog-marvel-stuff @yes-iamironman-blog @paradoxicalblueberry @the-regal-warrior @transparentparadiseglitterzombie @marvelgem @propertyofmarvel @avngrsinitiative @my-leg-is-not-a-chew-toy @lyricalstella-blog @just-the-daydreamer @hufflely-puffly

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a-libra-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Salt & Snow - Chapter 6

Ships: Ned Stark x Reader, Brandon Stark x Reader (?)

Summary: Ned finally returns to his childhood home, to the happiness of his siblings and Y/N ... though she’s also beside herself with nerves. As it turns out, the two of them are awkward teenagers.

Use this chrome extension to replace “Y/N” with a different name :)

“That’s the last of it, milord.” The servant tightened the leather straps on the wooden trunk, ensuring they were secure. Once satisfied, he nodded to the guide that would be taking the young Lord Stark down the mountain. The man was withered, but he expertly steered his mules, or so they said. Ned hadn’t realized how many possessions he’d collected in his years in the Eyrie, and felt bad for making the beasts carry so much.

The old mountain guide said it was fine, and it wouldn’t unbalance them. “You worry about stayin’ on that mule, milord. When’s the last time you descended?”

He thought about it. “Four years, mayhaps more.”

“Aye, it’s much the same. It’s still spring, it will warm quickly as we go down.” The old man guided him to one of the mules, a shaggy, dark brown one with long ears. Ned thought it was cute in an ugly way, and climbed up. He kept his eyes forward, ignoring how the Eyrie hung above them. He remembered the first time he climbed up here, terrified he’d fall the entire way, and then afraid the Eyrie would somehow fall from the sky and plummet to the ground.

I’ll be the one doing the plummeting, if this beast missteps. Ned was mostly, probably confident that wouldn’t happen. He wondered what sort of mule they gave Robert, the beast of a man. He couldn’t imagine his friend sitting quietly for the better part of the day. That thought made him smile a little, and sigh. Robert left a month ago, and now it was his turn. It was a bittersweet goodbye to Robert and then to Lord Arryn. The first month I couldn’t stop thinking about Winterfell, how I wanted to go back. It hurts to leave now.

It hurt, but it was time to go. He wanted to see his family again, to see Winterfell, and the godswood, and Wintertown and the forest surrounding them. He’d smell pines and fresh earth again — gods know the Eyrie sorely lacked in both — and the animals that ran through those woods. He wondered what had changed, what was the same.

Suddenly, Ned recalled a letter where Y/N described the repairs on one of the towers, the old one that was slowly crumbling. That made him remember the last one he sent, and he covered his face with a groan.

“Doing well, milord?” The guide asked, looking back. “Don’t look down.”

Ned merely nodded, glad the guide and the other servants were too busy navigating to notice his stupid face. Why had he written that? Why did he send it? She must be think he was an utter fool. She hadn’t even sent anything back yet.

No, letters are slow to the Eyrie, and I’m leaving, besides — perhaps it was lost.

The thought of Lord Arryn receiving it and sending it back was mortifying, even if the man would never read it. For days Ned’s mind had been racing about Robert’s departure, his own journey, and the stupid words he wrote down. He’d repeated them so many times in his head, hoping he was misremembering.

He groaned and laid his head on the neck of the mule. It smelled awful, but he stayed there. Y/N must have thought him a complete fool, how would he face her once he came home? It would be a long, long journey.

What in the seven hells did he mean by that?

Y/N stared at the words, her eyes running over them, which was a pointless act. She’d memorized these lines in particular, able to recall them in spite of her attempts to keep busy. She hadn’t responded, because how could she? Anytime she sat down and began to dab her quill, the butterflies battered against her stomach. She’d set her quill on the page, watching the ink soak into the paper, but Y/N only managed a few sentences before fumbling, misspelling a word, dripping ink everywhere and just giving up. She’d thrown several pages into the fire already.

I’m being ridiculous, I’m overthinking. Aren’t I? Hasn’t he always said kind things to me? Why is this different?

A week ago, Y/N dug through her box of letters saved over the years, hoping to assure herself. That was a mistake. She read through things she’d forgotten, phrases she remembered, looked over the little drawings he attempted, and her butterflies became relentless. She had to put the letters away and spent the entire day flustered and distracted.

She rubbed at her face and sighed heavily. She put the letter out of sight, knowing it wouldn’t be out of mind for a while. She ought to stop procrastinating, to send something back already; it’d been almost three weeks. Or was it four? She’d been procrastinating with everything imaginable — long boring books, needlework, studying maps, playing music, even riding.

I have to answer eventually. I really am thinking too much. Just write something safe! Something boring!

Instead of doing that, Y/N left her room and looked for something to do. Perhaps if she could talk about her feelings it would help, but she couldn’t. Not even to Lyanna. Her friend had stopped reading the letters, preferring to send her own, and Y/N was sure they weren’t as frequent… That, and she couldn’t imagine letting anyone read what she wrote or drew now.

Is it strange, how often we write? Has anyone noticed? A little voice nagged at Y/N. She and Ned were well past the age of innocent friendly correspondence. She didn’t speak much about it, secretly worried she’d be told to stop. The idea of getting “caught” wasn’t pleasant, but the idea of stopping was worse. The correspondence had become a comfort, a way to raise her spirits, warmth and confidence in her heart. She understood how some would find that emotion improper.

A servant hurried past Y/N, nearly hitting her and knocking her right out of her thoughts. The boy called an apology and kept running. In the great hall, she saw half a dozen men moving boxes, and one of the elder servants giving them orders. Savory smells came from the kitchen, and peaking inside, Y/N saw the cooks and their girls busy chopping and stewing.

She tried to recall the last time Winterfell was this abuzz. The death of Lady Stark cast a dreary curtain over the castle, and while it was gradually lifting, a feast still felt out of place. Brandon was away again, but there was never a big to-do for his return.

“Found you!” Lyanna called to her, and Y/N jumped. It was absurd how much she’d been lost in her head as of late. She was glad Lyanna didn’t tease her; instead, the girl asked, “Why is everyone so restless today?”

“I was just thinking that. Did you see the kitchens? I can’t imagine why we’d need so much sausage and stew.”

“They’re making dessert, too! I’d ask my father, but I can’t find him anywere.” As they talked, Lyanna and Y/N walked outside to one of the many yards inside Winterfell’s walls. Just like inside, there was a flurry of activity, things being moved and cleaned. Lyanna said half the horses had been taken, perhaps on a hunt for fresh stag. A sudden thought struck her, and she turned on her heels to face Y/N, nearly knocking the girl over in the process. “Y/N, what if… what if my father finally decided—?”

“He didn’t,” Y/N replied instantly. “He would tell you, Lyanna. It won’t be a surprise. Maybe something happened and he’s gathering some bannermen on short notice; maybe it’s about Brandon’s wedding. He has been gone for the better part of a month.”

“That’s all true,” Lyanna said, although she didn’t sound comforted. “Perhaps Father is entertaining some ladies for him. Oh, gods, we’ll have to make smalltalk with them…”

They sat on one of the many carts strewn about the yard, following the activity. Predictably, Y/N’s mind wandered to Ned, and she kept her sigh from escaping. She glanced at Lyanna, half-listening to her friend chatter about a hedge knight that visited months ago. He showed off some jousting in the yard for their amusement, and Lyanna was still enamored. Y/N’s thoughts were wholly preoccupied with the terrifying idea of telling her about the letters, the ones that had gradually become far less proper and more personal.

Suddenly Lyanna asked, “Did you have any plans today?”

“I have a feeling if I did, you’d pull me away.” Y/N said. “Why?”

“Do you still have your old brown cloak?”

Those grey eyes were gleaming with some sort of mischief. Perhaps it was the restlessness of the people around them, or her own anxious thoughts… but rather than steer away from trouble, Y/N turned toward it.

There were small collections of cottages directly outside the walls of Winterfell, mostly farmers and butchers who directly served the castle, and offered board to travelers during the large feasts. But if someone really wanted to find something interesting, they’d go to Wintertown. These were the more prosperous smallfolk, the merchants, innkeeps, blacksmiths, and so on. There was even a small sept, although most Northern townspeople had little use for it. Y/N had come here only a dozen times; to go, she and Lyanna would need an escort, and Brandon wasn’t eager to follow two silly girls around.

As far as they were concerned, the matter of an escort was silly now that they were women. Lyanna had no fear as she put on an old cotton dress and her grey cloak, while Y/N wore her brown and black dress she saved for riding and a deep blue cloak. Y/N tucked her pearl and jewelry away, and Lyanna pulled her own dark brown hair out of its braid until it was all around her shoulders, wild and free. The girls snuck quietly out into the yard, avoiding servants and guards, then drew their hoods up once they reached the gates. They waited, then Y/N pointed. Three sworn guards were distracted with a complaining merchant, and they slipped past the gate.

Once outside, they kept their hoods up, but giggled to one another. After walking a mile, they came across a farmer on the way to Wintertown, and asked if they could ride in his cart. The old man squinted at them, trying to focus his gaze.

“Are ye girls the swineherder’s daughters? Jeyne and … Milly, was it?”

“That’s our names. Can you take us to town?” Lyanna asked, putting on a false voice. When the old man agreed, she grinned so broadly, Y/N had to nudge her and give her a warning look. They hopped into the back of the cart and chatted while it swayed and hobbled along. The last time, it was an hour of walking before a cart passed by.

It’s good to see her like this, happy again. Y/N thought, glancing to her friend as Lyanna chatted. It’s been a dreary six moons. Or has it been longer?

Lyanna hadn’t been herself the whole time. Since her mother died, everything was bleaker. For the first moon, she just wanted to stay inside. After that she’d go out riding for hours at a time, and for once, Lord Stark didn’t scold her for it. Sometimes she’d rage, pick fights with Brandon or a guardman’s boy. Sometimes she’d just stay in bed. Those days were always the bad ones, Y/N knew, and she’d stay with her, writing or drawing or doing needlework while Lyanna laid there.

They’d get far worse than a scolding if they were caught at this game, but she just wanted Lyanna to be happy again. Wintertown was in sight, and they thanked the old man and hopped off his cart, too excited to wait for his mules to take them any farther. Y/N took Lyanna’s arm so they’d at least stay together, and they were off.

Just like the last time they visited, the town was buzzing. Thoughts of Ned’s words and Lyanna’s sadness quickly faded in the back of Y/N’s mind as they followed whatever interested them. A girl half their height was herding a group of sheep through the middle of a wide street, a woman was selling bolts of impossibly colorful fabric and thread, a blacksmith was loudly working on a sword. The girls watched all of it.

“Wait!” Y/N patted Lyanna’s arm excitedly, distracting her from the molten-hot red sword and the hammer that was beating down on it. “Do you see that?” She pointed.

Lyanna squinted. “That stall over there?”

“Yes, let’s hurry! Maybe he still has some!”

“What are you talking about?” Lyanna laughed, but followed along. She quickly realized why Y/N was so excited: There was a variety of colorful, fresh vegetables, but more importantly… fruit.

“You buying?” The man asked warily, mistaking them for the lowborn girls they were dressed as. Back in their bedchamber, Y/N had to remind Lyanna to tuck away her direwolf pin. “I’m selling, not giving. You girls got coin?”

Y/N ignored his tone and asked, “Are these from White Harbor? My father worked the docks.”

“That so? He on one of the merman’s ships, or the ray’s?”

“The manta ray, at the Whitetide docks.”

The man grinned, showing some missing teeth. He nodded his head like he was familiar with this mystery sailor. “Aye, with Lord Caspian’s fleet? His ships are good ones. These fruit come all the way from Dorne and the Arbor, but they’re still fresh.”

Y/N could see that. Her heart was racing at the sight of peaches, oranges, limes, figs… of course, Lyanna’s eyes went straight to the lemons. She giggled and shook her head. “They’re better when they’re baked in cakes. Have you had an orange before?”

“Never. Let’s get some. Four, if we could?” Lyanna asked the man, and he handed them over. Four was all he had, and Y/N paid, feeling a little sorry for taking so many. She wondered if the common folk could afford fruits. This cold preserved them well.

They walked around the market idly, more interested in the treats they just acquired. Y/N taught Lyanna how to peel the orange and the wolf-girl was delighted with how sweet and juicy they were. “This is wonderful! Why aren’t we baking these into cakes?”

“I suppose someone tried, and it didn’t work out well,” Y/N mused. “My mother liked to squeeze them into her water, or she’d just drink the juice itself. When you preserve the peels and dry them, you can scatter them amongst your things to make them smell good.” She thought about her mother’s hugs, and her favorite parlor, and the strong smell of citrus and exotic flowers that permeated both. She was a Northern woman, but took to the wonders of Dorne and Essos and the Reach, little treasures brought in on her husband’s ships. It was how her father courted her: With baskets of fruit, tropical flowers, strings of pearls and giant conch shells. Y/N smiled, remembering how her mother lit up when she told her about it.

“I can promise you, my little pearl, one day you will have such kindnesses paid by someone who truly adores you.”

“You know so many things. All I know is passable dancing, and horses.” Lyanna said, breaking Y/N’s reverie, of which she was grateful for. The Stark girl rubbed at her chin where some juices at dribbled, and Y/N handed her a handkerchief.

“You know swords and lances well.”

“Aye, but I’m not allowed to use them.” Lyanna frowned, but it didn’t look like her mood was lowering. She eagerly bit into a second orange instead. Y/N sighed and put the handkerchief back into her reticule.

“Can I have the peels?” She asked.

“Are you going to put them into my riding boots?”

“Gods, I’d need a bushel to mask that scent.”

Lyanna didn’t want to throw her precious orange, so she settled for lunging and chasing Y/N instead. Y/N shrieked and ran, glad for the headstart: Lyanna had to chew and swallow her orange pieces properly before tearing after her. Lyanna’s old dress was short enough that she didn’t have to pull up the skirts, but Y/N had the lighter cloak. She shrieked again as Lyanna grasped for it, but missed. “I’ll get you for that!” The girl hollered. “Come back, Y/N!”

They laughed and chased each other around the town like children, and no one cared. Some older women noticed and scowled, and a few children laughed and followed for a while, but no one stopped them. No one grabbed their ears and admonished them for the messy hair, dirty clothes and sticky orange-flavored fingers. They were little girls again, not proper ladies of five and ten, daughters of Stark and Caspian.

Y/N stopped suddenly, then yelped as Lyanna tackled her to the ground. She squirmed and coughed. “Lyanna! You’ll kill me!”

“Don’t start fights you can’t finish!” Lyanna responded. She realized Y/N was still winded and moved off her. “Oh, are you hurt?”

“No,” Y/N sat up and blinked the dust out of her eyes. Satisfied, Lyanna flicked an orange peel at her. Y/N picked it off her lap and ate it. Lyanna made a face, like Y/N just ate the peel of a lemon — then she remembered she saw her friend do that, too.

“Do you hear that?” Y/N asked. It was the entire reason she stopped. Both girls kept still and listened. They were on the edge of Wintertown, their game taking them to the very end of it. Out here was a few modest homes and small gardens, a crumbling wall, and the road leading to Winterfell.

“Horses,” Lyanna said. She listened. “Several of them, moving at once. It’s probably a retinue.”

“Is it Brandon? I can’t recall when he was supposed to come home.”

“It would be bad for Brandon to find us like this and tell father,” Lyanna said, but she laughed. She was like her old self today. Suddenly, she said, “Oh. We should have saved an orange for Ben.”

“But not Brandon?”

“His Lordliness can get fruit whenever he wants. He can ride to the Reach and pick it himself.” Lyanna scoffed. She stood up, pulled Y/N to her feet and they both dusted their dresses and cloaks off. The horses were closer now, easy to hear without them staying quiet. It had to be Brandon, or a nearby lord. It was too much commotion for farmers bringing food.

The girls walked to the crumbling wall and crouched down, eager to peek at the banners. They weren’t foolish enough to openly stare, even if this was Wintertown, they weren’t entirely safe. Y/N had a vague thought that Lyanna might have a dagger in her boot, but that wasn’t real protection. She kicked herself for not bringing something of her own, even if she had no idea how to use it.

“They’re taking their time,” Lyanna muttered. “Has to be a lord. A lordling wouldn’t bring so many wagons, and a merchant wouldn’t be so slow. If it is Brandon, let’s throw rocks.”

“Let’s not.”

“Fine, a single rock. I won’t hit his horse, she deserves better. It could always be Ser Roderick, or the Pooles. Maybe even Cerwyn —”

Y/N pulled her back, lower against the stone wall. “Shh.”

Two horses passed, carrying modestly protected Northern guards. Then four more guards followed, dressed in different leather and armor. Y/N squinted, not recognizing the arms on their surcoats. It wasn’t anyone sworn to House Stark. Then, what they wanted: The banners.

One man held a direwolf, and another one held a blue falcon. Lyanna shot up, and Y/N stumbled, as she was still holding onto her.

Then she looked up, and jumped to her feet just as Lyanna had. They both stared.

It was Brandon, as they guessed, and someone else. They rode ahead, followed by a few more men, one of them a fully-armored knight who wore the crest of a sky-blue and white falcon.

“Ned!!”

Lyanna was gone. She tore across a small field to the road, and the guards stopped all at once, their hands flying to their hips. That action snapped Y/N to attention, but she could only stand and stare. She watched the boy — no, young man — beside Brandon turn in his saddle, and his grey eyes lit up with surprise and happiness.

Y/N thought someone was sitting on her chest, then something was trying to get out of it. She was choked up, the world was spinning, and she could barely hear the words Lyanna, Ned and Brandon were all saying. Lyanna nearly jumped up on the horse, but Ned swiftly dismounted. He only had a moment before he was being strangled in a hug.

Brandon got down from his horse and said something to the guards. The horses shook their heads at the commotion but Lyanna shouted again, and two of the knights laughed, and Y/N was still.

Then Ned looked up over his sister’s head, and met eyes with her. Y/N took a step forward, then another. She forgot she was wearing an old dress, a cloak that was now dirty from running about, that her hair was out of a normally tamed and styled braid. Ned held out his hand, as though she was close and not ten or fifteen feet away.

Y/N shyly walked down the field to the road, trying not to look at the guards, or Brandon. Lyanna pulled away from Ned and grabbed her arm, pulling her the last two feet. “What are you doing, Y/N? Come over here!”

She was pushed in front of him. He was different in some ways, but not many. Brandon towered above him and Lyanna was just a little shorter. Y/N smiled at that, but quickly looked to her hands, which smelled of oranges and still had a little stickiness on them.

“It’s good to see you again,” Y/N could only say. She thought of all the clever and interesting words she sent before, and how they were failing her horribly now. Her mind scrambled for something to say, something she had written before, something good, but it was all jumbled.

She didn’t look at Ned as he replied, “It’s good to see you too, Y/N.”

It was quiet, like they were the only ones, but that was quickly interrupted. Brandon was beside them, loudly teasing, “It’s Lady Y/N, brother. I thought the South was supposed to teach you all those stuffy manners.”

“She’s always been Y/N to us,” Lyanna rolled her eyes. “More importantly, were you and father keeping this a secret?”

Her brother replied with a small smile. “Yes, it… it was supposed to be a surprise. I never imagined we’d meet you here.”

“And why are you two here?” Brandon crossed his arms. His good humor quickly left, as if he just took in their location and their clothes. He looked at Lyanna, then Y/N, and kept his attention on the latter. “Did you sneak out without a guard? Do you know how dangerous that can be? And why are you dressed like that?”

Y/N self-consciously pulled at her cloak as he questioned them, remembering the state she was in. Brandon’s words didn’t bother her, it was the realization that Ned hadn’t seen her in years, and this is what he saw as soon as he came back. Didn’t I have silly daydreams of him seeing me in the gown I made, or a new one? Why am I even thinking about that?

She was glad Lyanna and Brandon got into a little spat, to hide her embarrassment. She stepped behind Lyanna, half to shield herself, half to put some distance between her and Ned. She was steadily being overcome with an urge to hug him — wouldn’t that be natural? He was home now, but … it wasn’t that simple. So, she kept at Lyanna’s side, redirecting her attention on calming her friend.

“When I tell father about this, he’ll have words to say, especially since tonight he wants to hold a feast —”

“— If you tell him, I’ll tell about all that extra time you spend at the Rills!”

“It’s my job as heir to visit our bannermen and listen to their grievances!”

“Oh, yes, the pretty Ryswell daughters have much to say, I’m sure —”

Brandon went red and was ready to retort hotly, when Ned cleared his throat. He inclined his head to the men around them, all visibly impatient. Ned himself had some of that energy as he said, “Let’s go home.”

The way he said it, how could anyone continue to argue? Brandon stopped at once, knowing it had been years since his little brother had seen Winterfell properly. He patted him affectionately on the back, and Lyanna beamed. Y/N met eyes with Ned again, and they both turned away.

Brandon took his horse’s bridle. “Whose riding with whomst?”

“I’ll ride with Ned!” Lyanna blurted excitedly, and disappointment shot through Y/N so quickly, she felt a little sick. Don’t be stupid. That’s her brother, and she’ll just quarrel with Brandon, besides.

Brandon offered her a hand and easily swept her up on his horse. He asked if she was comfortable before swinging up himself, settling in like it was as easy as sitting in a chair. The problem is he put her in front, so his arms were loosely around her as he gathered his reins. Nervous as she was around these beasts, Y/N almost preferred riding behind him, although that was not always considered proper for a lady. Y/N had to hold onto him, especially with how far up she was. Brandon had a fine old destrier, once a great warhorse, still mighty and tall in her old age. She was perfect for taking him around the North, but Y/N thought she was entirely too big.

Lyanna happily settled in behind Ned instead of in front of him. Again, Y/N met his eyes. He had expressions that said so much, especially since he himself said little. She couldn’t read this one, though. Brandon called out, “Move on!” and the small escort went on the road. Y/N was thankful for the easy pace, and the steady gait of the destrier.

Her nervousness slowly settled as the four of them made conversation, with the Vale knight occasionally speaking up. Before long, the walls of Winterfell appeared before them, the proud white banners flying above. Ned looked up at the direwolf, and Y/N could swear some fatigue just melted right off him. The gates opened, and the guards keeping their station happily called to the boys, not noticing the state Lord Stark’s daughter and his ward were in. By the time their escort entered the yard, several servants, men-at-arms and children had come to see Ned come home.

Benjen pushed through all of them, eagerly running at his older brother. There was no shortage of hugs as Lyanna, Benjen and Ned reunited, while Brandon helped Y/N off the horse. Unlike his oldest brother, Benjen hadn’t developed an avoidance to his sister and her companion. He was only two years younger than them, and looked hurt as he said, “You all met him without me!”

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Ned said again. “I crossed Brandon on the road by chance, and then these two—”

“Isn’t it a wonderful coincidence?” Lyanna grinned. She was still standing close to Ned, all but hanging off him. Y/N allowed Benjen to squeeze past her to get to Ned.

While the three chattered, Y/N asked Brandon, “You truly didn’t know? Where were you coming from?”

“Returning from the Karstarks. Father didn’t tell me a thing.”

Lyanna and Benjen began dragging Ned to the great hall, and now servants and guards started gathering, having realized who he was and all were eager to see him. Y/N smiled, pleased he was so missed… and only slightly glad he was moving further from her. She was anxious of what would happen if they were in a small group again, or worse, alone. She almost wanted to stay behind, but Brandon called to her, lingering back so she could catch up.

Being alone happened far sooner than Y/N anticipated.

The next morning, she stepped carefully through the snow, watching for roots just slightly sticking out. The sun was beginning to peak over the stone walls, helping her navigate the quiet yard. This route wasn’t yet familiar to her. She’d only made it recently, and often without Lyanna. Her friend wanted to mourn in quiet.

Y/N descended into the crypts. She shuddered instantly, feeling a far stronger cold take hold of her. Her footsteps echoed off the stone and she walked steadily toward her destination, passing statues of long dead Lord Starks and their sons.

Lady Lyarra did not have a sculpted sepulcher, but she had a beautiful tomb and marker for her bones. Y/N held her reticule close, bringing it to her nose so she could smell the crisp, dried oranges and give herself peace of mind. She hadn’t even visited her own family’s crypt.

She gasped as the shadows shuddered, nearly dropping the dried peels. The torches were scattered about, some not lit, making the shadows grow and recede with every second. She heard something just a few feet away.

Y/N bit down a curse as Ned came into view, the shadows circling around him. He blinked at her, his grey eyes almost looking black in the limited light.

“Y/N?”

“Y-You scared me,” She shuddered. “I didn’t — I didn’t think there would be anyone here.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I…” Y/N paused. She couldn’t seem to steady her heart, not with Ned looking directly at her. He was so much taller than before. She turned away. “I wanted to pay my respects. To give a gift.”

He didn’t respond right away. Y/N thought of the letters, of the reassurances, the kindnesses she sent him when he finally heard the news of his mother’s passing.

Why was it failing her now? She squeezed the fabric bag between her fingers.

“You brought something for her?” Ned asked quietly. “Could I see?”

Y/N nodded. She stepped closer, but not enough to feel any warmth from him. The cold of the crypt was cooling her nerves. “Orange peels. I dried them. They… they smell nice.”

She felt foolish, but he smiled. It was slight, but it was there.

“This way.” He said. He took a torch off the wall and led her deeper in. Y/N forgot how far it truly was. The Starks had been dying for centuries, and soon they would have to dig deeper into the cave to make space for the future generations. Lyarra was buried next to her parents, neither of who had a statue either.

There were fresh blue roses on the grave, and older, smaller blossoms that had begun to dry and decay. Y/N recalled Benjen brought those. She arranged the orange peels neatly, happy with the fragrance they gave off in addition to the roses. Ned must have brought those.

She quietly prayed, and Ned kept quiet beside her, perhaps joining her, perhaps not. When she finished, her hands fell to her side. Her cold, bare fingers brushed with Ned’s, and she felt the soft wool of his gloves. His finger hooked around one of her’s, and she curled it.

“Ned, I don’t presume to know your feelings, but I can only imagine how much you must hurt. If I could only help — if you were only right here, instead of far away —”

“When I home come, I want to see you, and do all the things we said we would do. I want to watch you paint, and dance, and maybe ride a horse — because I know Lyanna will make us — but most of all, I want to hear your voice.”

Y/N felt her throat was dry, but she stayed put, wondering if her heartbeat could be heard bouncing off the walls. She knew if she looked at him, even with a glance, she’d lose all composure and just run away.

She almost did that, when a loud noise made them both jump nearly two feet apart. Ned instantly took her hand back to push her behind him, then touched his sword. He grasped the hilt and lifted it just an inch out of the scabbard.

“Gods!” Y/N let out a hard breath. The skinny orange cat that knocked the unlit brazier over. It didn’t have coal in it, but it still made a terrible racket. The cat hissed and ran back into the shadows.

“I see he’s still here,” Ned mumbled. He set his sword back, and his shoulders were still tight. “Damned creature.”

“He gets lost down here so often. If he were kinder, I’d carry him out.”

“If it’s the same orange cat from when I was a boy, he’d rather freeze to death than be touched for even a moment.”

Silly smiles graced their faces, in spite of where they were, in spite of why they came in the first place. Ned nervously touched the hilt of his sword. “Shall we return?”

As they stepped out of the crypt, Y/N had to lift her skirts to climb the stairs easier. Ned offered his hand, and she took it for the last few steps. He didn’t immediately let go, and she didn’t comment on it. Instead she asked, “Did they make you learn those manners in the South?”

“There’s all sorts of manners and noble bearing they expect. It’s exhausting,” Ned admitted with a shy expression, and Y/N couldn’t help but imagine him trying some sort of silly, formal dance she’d heard about.

“Give me an example.”

He stared at their connected hands, his ears and cheeks slowly growing redder. Y/N didn’t pull away, even if her own body was threatening to explode with nerves and heat.

She expected him to kiss her hand, like she’d hear the other girls gossip about. She felt his warm lips against her fingers, through her thin gloves, and it made her jolt. Some of his brown hair brushed against her arm. I might well and truly die now.

Ned coughed and hastily turned away from her, utterly embarrassed at his own behavior. “Th-that’s what Lord Arryn… what Lord Arryn said to do when … when meeting a lady…”

“Are you kissing other ladies?” She couldn’t help it. She giggled, the warmth in her chest bubbling up to her lips. Her hand felt like it was on fire. “Should I be jealous, Ned?”

Ned covered his face with his hands, and she laughed. She covered her own face to settle her silly, foolish giddiness. “Of course not,” He grumbled. “You’re the only one I ever spoke to, besides.”

“Oh, you must have talked to some in the Eyrie.”

“Some.” Ned’s grey eyes glanced to her. She met his gaze, and they held it as he continued, “Though I kept wishing you were there.”

Y/N had to look away again. She couldn’t giggle, her throat was stuck, her chest hurt and she hated how tongue-tied she was. She never imagined it would be this hard — whatever this was —

“What in the seven hells are you both doing?”

Looking through her fingers, Y/N watched Brandon saunter up to them. The older Stark tilted his head to his brother.

Ned could only manage to suspiciously avoid looking at him. Brandon glanced between them, and Y/N felt like she had done something wrong. She quickly said, “We were visiting the crypt to pay our respects.”

Brandon’s face fell, and he said little else. Y/N understood it would be time for breakfast soon, and the morning sun had long broken over the tall stone walls. The three of them walked back to the keep together, Brandon pointedly putting himself between Y/N and Ned.

#ned stark x reader #game of thrones x reader #got x reader #salt & snow #libra fics

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