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manychocolatefactories · 4 years ago

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CatCF Milk Chocolate: Part 1, the kids

About this version: Milk Chocolate was inspired originally by a mix of the book, the vibes of the 1971 movie and the Tim Burton movie aesthetic. A bit more goofier and whimsical than the other versions. In term of era, I thought of it as a mix of 1960s, 1970s and 1980s.

In this version seven Golden Tickets are spread throughout the world, and each time one is found the same female reporter (her character is a reference to the musical) goes to interview the children. Another recurring joke is that while the hunt is going on for the Tickets, there are all sorts of ridiculous debates on television such as: do the Golden Tickets really exist, or is this just a hoax ? Do the Golden Tickets give cancer? Can animals go on a tour like humans? What happens if a Golden Ticket winner dies before the tour? Are the Golden Tickets linked to the rise of youht delinquence? Are the Golden Tickets a proof of Wonka's alleagiance to the obscure sect of the Golden Bird?

First Winner: Augustus Gloop

(Based on Augustus Gloop)

This Augustus was actually based on an idea Stained-by-the-sea allowed me to "borrow" a bit. Stained noted that Augustus always made him thought of this section from the movie "North", about Buck and the Texan parents. If you don't know what I am talking about, I'll leave links down there. And this is such a perfect matc I had to dig a bit down there.

This Augustus is basically a mix of all the archetypes associated with Texas and Nevada. But more precisely, he is basically "Buck" from North - a boy whose family (and his own mindset) embody the motto "bigger is better".

The Gloop family always thought that they should be "the biggest and the bests" and that "bigger is better". Ironically, the Gloop parents themselves are regular-sized people, but they clearly enforced this mentality on their son. Augustus is a big boy. Literally. He is tall, he is thick, he is fat, he is very, very big. He is probably one of the tallest, and definitively the largest boy on the tour (in fact, he once or twice gets stuck in the doors of Wonka factory). He eats ten meals per day, and we are not talking of regular sized meals. We are talking piles of ribs, kilos of potatoes, entire chickens... His parents also prepared for him a "big" and "best" future - paying the local sportive teams to claim he is a sports champion despite Augustus never setting a foot on a sports field, arranging his marriage with the local beauty queen of the state he lives in, already preparing the three different houses he will live with his fifteen kids... As a result, Augustus isn't just big and fat physically, he also has a massive and bloated ego. He thinks that he is the best at everything, and that he should have absolutely everything he wants.

The Gloops themselves are actually the masters of the state they live in, so to speak. They are the wealthiest and most influential industrials of the area: they built highways, casinos, hotels, private villas, they are cow-farmers, owing a lot of slaughterhouses, and also dig for oil and gold. They want their business to be the "biggest there ever was" and all they do is exaggerately big: their villas are enormous, their hotels are everywhere, their farms hosts several thousands cows, their mines are among the deepest in the world...

Trouble is that, due to their expansion and consumption of everything, they are a threat to the landscape and the environment - destroying forests to build their roads and buildings, drying out the lands to feed their farms... in fact, part of the reason why their state looks like the most desertic parts of Texas and Nevada is due to their actions.

Think... Buck from North. Think Art Land from Mar Attack. Think an evil (and obese) version of Clay Bailey from "Xiaolin Showdown". In fact, if I remember well in one episode Clay turns into a sumo for one of the Showdowns... this would probably be Augustus' appearance in this version: sumo Clay Bailey. (Edit: Yes, I checked out, it is episode 23 of the series).

Second Winner: Clarence Crump

(Based on: Clarence Crump)

Clarence didn't had any kind of personnality in the original drafts outside of a desire to prove he was right. As a result, I decided to have a lot of fun and create my own character.

The idea of vanity has already been touched several times with the other brats, but I wanted to give it its own character and kid. I also wanted to create a polar opposite of Augustus, denouncing the fact that being skinny can be just as bad as being fat when in excess. As a result, Clarence Crump is here a boy obsessed about being thin, and proud of being too skinny for his own good.

Mr. Crump is a pseudo-health guru that keeps writing phony and very dangerous diet books, the kind that will advice you to stop eating altogether to lose weight. As for Mrs. Crump, she is a beauty pageant champion (local and regional, and while she acts as if she was some national beauty champion, she always failed at nationals). From their union was born a child who inherited their vanity, pride and obsession with "health"

Black haired, very pale, very thin, very slender, to the point his bones show, Clarence delights in being skinny, and works as a teenager model promoting the "thin-fashion". He is also the embodiment of fat-shaming, never missing an occasion to insult fat people (in fact he often calls Augustus a big fat cow). He uses however the excuse of health for that (a trick his parents taught him) - promoting extreme thinness by talking about health and fat-shaming people in the name of health allows one to be much more horrible than normally accepted.

A good proof of how Clarence actually is just very vain and obsessed with being thin, and not at all defending health - Clarence condemns sports for being unhealthy, because according to him "muscles are unhealthy because they don't make you look beautiful, they make you look ugly".

He always wears short and black sleeveless tank-tops, the point being that he needs to show as much as his body to the world as possible, to be a "living example". He even wears his black short and tank-top during the tour (despite it being winte - the only thing he wears on top of his clothes to not get cold is a skunk fur coat).

Third Winner: Miranda Grope

(Based on: Miranda Grope)

This character was based on Dahl's own character of "Miranda Grope" from early drafts of the story, the horrible and atrocious girl allowed to do "whatever she wants".

In my version, the Grope parents are hippie-like people, the father having a very long beard and being covered in fleas, while the mother is covered in flowers and oss (plants that grew over her), and both always wearing rose-tinted glasses. They are the kind of parents that refuse authority and orders, seeing these (and social norms as a whole) as a "dictatorship". They prefer to trust their daughter to find her own way in the world, believing that experience is the best teacher in life. The result? They lazily raised her by telling her they would never forbid her anything and that she could do anything she wanted.

Miranda is a devilish little girl who does only what she wants, and becomes extremely violent when prevented from doing something. Or when people say something she doesn't want to hear. Or just when people she dislikes are near her. She shouts, the screams, she insult, she kicks, she hit, she throw enormous and terrifying tantrums. She has a very wide range of insults, and a truly evil mind : most of the things she wants to do are borderline crimes. It seems for her only chaos and destruction is "fun", a true little punk.

Miranda has a disastrous haircut because she cuts her hair herself, and she is always wearing the same clothes that she rarely washes): a white shirt, a blue sweater with long sleeves, and a plaid tiles skirt. An outfit that looks strikingly like a school uniform - but it is pure irony, because Miranda hates more than anything in the world school. She doesn't go to school, and the only time she went near one was to try to burn it down. (Her appearance is in fact based on Lauren Child's illustrations for Miranda, if you are wondering).

Fourth Winner: Veruca Salt

(Based on: Veruca Salt)

For this Veruca, I wanted to do something slightly different... here, Veruca doesn't want everything just because she is a spoiled rich brat. She is still one, but she is also the product of post-WW2 consumerism.

This Veruca was born surrounded by advertisements, logos, slogans and product placements. On television, in the streets, in shops, in journals, at the radio... She grew up with them and was influenced, brainwashed by them. As a result, she is obsessed with obtaining everything that was advertised, and she herelf looks like a walking billboard since she is covered in big, flashy logo and keeps reciting different brands' slogans and mottos. As soon as she sees something she saw publicity of before, she needs to obtain it at once. She is a true zombie, only hearing the call of the shopping mall and of the television advertisements.

One idea I had was that the Salt parents actually worked for (or where at the head of) a wealthy advertisement company, known to produce, design and create all kinds of famous publicities and slogans - and that they used their daughter as a guinea pig for their tests, and delighted in Veruca being so addicted to consumerism. In fact, they may have named her Veruca because at the moment of her birth they were working on advertisements for an anti-wart product, so that's all they had in mind.

Fifth winner: Herpes Trout

(Based on: Mike Teavee)

I went with this version of Mikee Teavee with the focus on "violence" already present in the original work, but also heavily used in the opera (and touched a bit in the 2005 movie).

This Herpes Trout is the embodiment of the fear of kids becoming violent upon watching television and playing video games (his only two passions in life). He has a true fascination with guns and firearms - US soldiers shooting aliens, gangs shooting each other, cowboys shooting at bandits, it's all he ever plays and watches. Herpes worships violence, and is absolutely obsessed with war (here I am thinking of all the wars present from the 60s to the 80s, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Glasgow Ice Cream Wars...). War propaganda and the fight being glorifyed heavily influenced him - as a result his biggest dream is to go at war in some foreign country to kill everyone there and come home a hero.

Herpes comes from a family of rednecks and hillbillies from the deep country. They are not poor however, they are wealthy enough to have television and several video games, but they are uneducated people full of stereotypes, discrimination and hate. They named their son Herpes because they ignored what it meant but just thought of it as an "intelligent" name. Herpes has everal brothers and sisters, and all have a disease name.

Herpes himself is a big and strong kid, who followed body-buildings process a la Charles Atlas and military training, becoming impressively muscular. However, he retained a soft, childish and chubby "baby face", which kind of ruins the effect of this massive, muscular, almost adult body. Always dressed in a military outfit, he carries everywhere with him guns and firearms, the question being: are they real? Or are they not?

Sixth Winner: Violet Glockenberry

(Based on Violet Beauregarde)

I wanted with this version to take back the idea of a competitive and "sportive" girl obsessed with contesting and winning - introduced in the Tim Burton movie.

This Violet is a tall, muscular and strong girl. She won numerous sportive competitions, but this doesn't make her just arrogant and prideful like in the Tim Burton version. In my version she is also very aggressive and violent (a bit like in the original novel). She is a nasty and rude bully easily prone to anger (in fact, if she keeps chewing gum it is mostly to calm her down sot hat she doesn't punch everyone around). Her parents originally pushed her towards competitions to manage her anger issues, but sports only gave her more strength and destructive power. In fact, they became terrified of her, while she considers them losers here to serve her - she basically thinks of herself as self-made, literaly.

Seventh Winner: Charlie Bucket

(Based on: Charlie Bucket)

For this Charlie, I wanted to go with a Charlie similar to the original illustrations of the character: blond hair, blue eyes, a white boy...

Basically, he is the original Charlie. Very sweet, very innocent, a gentle kid, the best of the group.

However I changed slightly his background. Charlie in this version is not the grandson of four grandparents, but rather the big brother of four younger siblings - and his family here struggles with trying to feed five children (and a total of seven mouths) despite having very humble and low-paid jobs. I think Charlie has taken the role of a parentive figure for the siblings, but at the same time him spending so much time with young children helped him keep in touch with his "childish" side.

#charlie and the chocolate factory #catcf #milk chocolate #retelling #charlie bucket #violet beauregarde #mike teavee #augustus gloop #veruca salt #miranda grope #clarence crump

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queernarchy · 4 years ago

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Statement of Elizabeth Williams, regarding a box of tapes found in the basement of her student house. Statement given October 18th, 2018, 105 Hill Top Road, Oxford.

[INT. OXFORD, 105 HILLTOP RD, UPSTAIRS BEDROOM]

[TAPE CLICKS ON]

[SOUNDS OF BETH STUTTERING, APPARENTLY SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING TO SAY]

[A SHAKY INHALE]

BETH

Right. Um. I, uh. Right.

[PAUSE]

BETH

To be perfectly honest, I’m not really sure what I’m doing. I- I found this. It’s the only one I’ve found in the box that’s blank. You know, I’ve never actually seen a tape recorder, like in real life? It’s quite - Well, I’m not even sure I know how to use it. Except … I do. Because I turned it on. I hit the button and now I’m talking to it, like it’s a person. Like I’m crazy, which … I might be. God, I might be.

[BREATH]

BETH

I probably am. In fact, I hope I am. I hope I was just dreaming it all up. Another sign of an overactive imagination. Spending too much time with those books and not in the real world, as mum would say.

[PAUSE]

Even if it was real, there is no reason for me to be talking to you - no, to this. [TO HERSELF] It’s a tape recorder, Beth, it’s not a person. [BACK TO NORMAL] But I am. It feels right to, to tell you. So I’m going to. I’m going to tell you what happened and then it’ll be over. And I can go back to my life.

BETH (STATEMENT)

I’m not great at this. The talking, the explaining, the storytelling, it’s not really my thing, at least not anymore.

When I was a kid it was easy, you know? I was always latching onto one thing or another, letting it consume my brain and then going on and on about it to whatever poor soul I could corner long enough into listening. My parents didn’t let me use a computer until I was well into my teens - something about them making nightmares worse? It was all bollocks, really, how would they know that if they never actually let me use one? But, anyways, before that I used to spend hours in the Wokingham library touring the sections. Once, when I was twelve, I read a book on oceanography: Vanished Ocean: How Tethys Reshaped the World, and spent a solid week scouring the corners of every bookshelf for anything I could find on ancient supercontinents or vanished fault lines before giving my report to the first unlucky and unsuspecting librarian who happened to be out in the open. [LAUGHS] Poor Mike.

I never cared what the genre was, nonfiction, mystery, fantasy, that was never important to me. I just loved the pursuit, and the compelling joy of walking through a new world. It was like a secret between me and the writer, something that we knew that nobody else did.

I always dreamed of being a writer too one day, but like I said, the storytelling part never actually came natural to me, no matter how many books I consumed. I suppose it must have been that lack of skill that bugged the people around me to no end. My father spent most of his time at work and I didn’t really get along with my brother or sister, but let’s just say that my mum was never as ... enthusiastic about my new interests as I was.

It wasn’t her fault, I was deeply, deeply irritating. But to my credit, the minute I realized that, well, that’s when I finally started to shut up. Thinking back, I think that’s where it started. I had always kind of been afraid of pretty much anything and everything. But when I got old enough, I started to routinely feel a gripping terror bubbling up through my stomach, my chest, shaking my limbs and rooting me to the spot whenever I spoke for more than a minute at a time.

All this to say, a few years ago I graduated secondary school with absolutely no skill in writing, the one thing I actually enjoyed, and a lot of anxiety. It seems inevitable that I would end up studying library sciences, doesn’t it? It’s practically what I’ve always done anyways - sorting and researching. And a future as a librarian with a couple cats and a cozy cottage, surrounded by books, well … there are worse things. Much worse.

I moved into student housing right before my first term started at Oriel. I call it student housing, but it’s not, not technically. The actual dorms were a bit out of my price range, so when I saw an ad looking for flatmates in Cowley, only a 20 minute bus ride from the college, it seemed meant to be. There were ten living here all together, to start. George moved into his boyfriend’s place last year, leaving nine of us. [DARKLY] Well, eight, now, I suppose.

It was a proper house, renovated a few years back, I think, but it was already thoroughly trashed by the time I showed up. It was one of those places that, the minute you walked through the door, you could just feel the grime lurking between the worn couches and stained mattresses, that musty smell of overuse. I tried to ignore it, I did, but one Friday night a couple weeks after I’d settled in, I waited until everyone had gone and walked to the closest shop to buy a blacklight. It went about as well as you’d expect. I spent that entire weekend scrubbing this house from top to bottom. I even cleaned Sam’s room. It’s not like I’m a germaphobe or anything, I just like to know where things have been. And if they dirty again, well, at least I know it’s the slobbery of my friends rather than that of strangers.

I didn’t touch the basement, though. None of us ever did. I’m not sure why, it was always just an unspoken agreement between us. I must have asked about it when I moved in. I must have. I mean, it would be one thing if it just never came up, if it was just an unfinished and unsafe part of the house we didn’t go down to and that was that. But, you know, thinking about it now, we didn’t even mention it, not once. It’s amazing, isn’t it, what you can ignore. Right up to the moment you’re devoured by it.

I don’t remember the exact moment things started to feel wrong. Can’t have been more than a couple weeks ago. It was subtle, at first. Doors swinging closed on their own, misplaced items, shadows that didn’t really ... fit. All things that could be chalked up to the mind playing tricks out of boredom, or fatigue - just a consequence of one too many sleepless nights. I didn’t really think about it too hard, even when Sam brought it up at breakfast, started insisting the place was haunted. That was easy to dismiss, she’s always going on about some supernatural this or that and I don’t believe in ghosts, but even that would have been easily digestible as an explanation.

It was like that for a few days, and all the while, that feeling of wrongness lurked in the background, pulsing beneath us. I honestly don’t know if I would have even taken notice if Milton hadn’t started behaving the way he did. Milton is - was - every bit the hipster film student of your wildest imaginations. I swear, I saw him wear a beret once, completely unironically. We’d been friends, as I was one of the few people who would listen to him ramble on about whatever arthouse film had caught his attention that week. We got on fine, well, actually, for flatmates at least. That’s not to say that I always liked him - I’d acted in a few of his student films, just by convenience, and he wasn’t exactly the most easy to work with. Everything always had to be just the way he wanted it, down the most minute detail. I swear, if he could have tied strings around our limbs and puppeted us from afar, he would have. [PAUSE] Sorry, that’s … that’s poor taste.

It had to do with the cassettes. You see, Milton had always insisted on using magnetic tape for his recordings, refusing to even entertain the idea of a digital camera. Something about being more authentic - I never understood it, but far be it from me to get in between a film major and their precious ‘analog charm.’ He loved those tapes, and we all got used to seeing dozens scattered throughout the house at any one time. Which is why it struck me as odd when last week, they vanished entirely. When I asked him about it, he just said that he'd been editing a new project that he needed them for. I wasn’t sure what kind of project would require that many cassettes all at once, but he certainly spent enough time working on it. He’d be locked away in his room for hours, sounds of whirring machinery coming from behind his door. When he did come out, he was exhausted, gaunt. I tried talking to him about it, you know, but he’d just ignore me.

It was strange behavior, sure, but not supernatural. Perhaps I would have chalked it up to stress, just a bad week, but that’s when the nightmares started. I had always had them, just a side effect of my anxiety, but they’d died down a couple years ago, after I moved to Oxford. One sleep after this started, though, I saw Milton. He was sat at a desk, a mess of cassettes unspooled into piles of thin black magnetic tape scattered across it. He was tangled in tape as well, almost every limb bound by it. He stared at the pile in front of him with dull eyes, completely still.

I didn’t realize until the tape began to lift his arms that he wasn’t just tangled in it. The long, metallic strands were embedded directly into his skin. The strands controlling every movement, he grabbed a spool, and, very slowly, raised it to his mouth. His jaw unhinged, farther than anything natural, and he began to stuff the tape down his throat. Again, and again, and again, until the entire pile was gone. I had never felt relief the way I had when I finally woke from that dream. I didn’t know that was only the first time that I would have it.

I woke from one of these nightmares late one night, heart beating fast and body sticky with sweat. I climbed downstairs, trying to clear my head, and found Milton sitting in the living room, staring at our small television screen playing his movie. At least, that’s what I assumed it was. There was no coherence, no audio, just rapid, violent black and white images that flashed across the screen sporadically and bits of static that faded in and out at random. Occasionally, I’d see the corrupted and disjointed image of my own face cross the screen, along with the other actors. The pattern was hypnotic. Every few minutes, the images would perfectly align, shaping spindly, bony legs that almost seemed to reach beyond the glass face of the TV.

After a while, I finally managed to ask him if he was alright, if the cassette had become corrupted somehow, if there was any way to fix it. He had always been so fiercely protective of his tapes, and with the state it was in I expected him to be furious, or devastated, at least concerned. But when he turned, there was none of that written into his face. Just a calm, blank expression. He studied me carefully for a long moment, before finally speaking. ‘We should feed our guest. She’s so happy to have arrived, and she is very hungry.’ He smiled after he said that. When he did, I could have sworn I saw that thin black film tape weaved inside him - webbed in the back of his throat and threaded right through the fleshy center of his tongue. I went back up the stairs immediately and locked my door, sat in bed until the sun came up.

I managed to avoid him the days after that. I thought about telling the others, trying to explain it to them, but I knew it wouldn’t end well. They wouldn’t believe me, why would they? I wasn’t even sure that I believed me. I thought about moving out, of course I did, but I had nowhere to go. No money, no real friends outside of the ones I already lived with. And who knows if I was just overreacting, imagining it all. So I decided I’d just ignore him as much as I could until he went back to normal or I’d saved up enough money for a new place.

It didn’t last, though. It was three days ago that it happened. It was late, and I had carelessly lost time sitting in the kitchen, studying for my history exam. I was alone when he walked in. He didn’t say a word, just, met my eyes with that calm look, like an invitation. Then he turned, with a finality I had never seen before, opened the door to the basement, and vanished down the stairs.

I shouldn’t have followed him. I could have just walked away, went upstairs and buried my head in my pillow. But I didn’t. I had to know. To see.

So, I walked down those old stone steps, dodging cobwebs. I don’t remember if I closed the door behind me, or if it did that part on its own. The cellar was warm, far too warm for October. It was unfinished, and empty save for an old, lidded cardboard box that sat neatly in the center of the room. A long, jagged crack ran through the floor and up into the far wall, as though the foundation had been damaged in an earthquake or something. Milton stood facing away from me, towards the crack in the wall, whispering something I couldn’t quite make out. I called out to him, and he turned to face me, expression wild with … something. Excitement? Panic? He had started to say something before, all at once, dozens of shadowy, spindly tendrils, adorned with what looked like coarse hairs crept from the crack and began to wrap themselves around him.

I felt that familiar terror bubble up, running cold through my veins, stronger than I’d ever felt it before. I wanted to run or scream, but I couldn’t. He didn’t scream either, but I could see the fear growing in his eyes, silently pleading. He didn’t move, not even as the tendrils began to … unspool him. They reached into him, breaking into his body like plaster, and pulled. He was hoisted from the ground, his limbs yanked in different directions and elongated. They just dangled there, arms and legs and head only still attached by threads of dark, magnetic tape, like an old, torn doll hanging together by string. And then the tendrils began to move him. They took their time puppeting him, and at the end, they pulled up his head, forcing his gaze to meet mine. His cheeks were strung up into a grin, but I saw the tears that flowed freely down his contorted face.

I don’t know how long I stood there, watching him stripped him apart, piece by piece, slowly and deliberately. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks, although I couldn’t tell if they’d come from the terror of it all or simply because I no longer possessed the ability to blink. I watched and watched. And when it was over, and he was gone, I waited. I waited for them to take me, a part of me just relieved that I didn’t have to watch anymore. I had already shut my eyes tightly before I understood that I could. I felt my hands twitch, regaining their will. When I finally opened my eyes again, I was alone, in that old, dank basement, with nothing but that long dark crack, and, in the center of the floor, the cobweb covered cardboard box, now open, and filled to the brim with tapes.

I don’t remember the rest of the night with any real clarity. I know I stood there for a while. I know at some point I calmly bent down, picked up the box, and walked it upstairs. I spent most of the last two days just staring at it. I’ve missed all of my classes. Sam has come to see me a couple of times, to ask how I am. This morning she actually brought me a plate of spaghetti. Imagine that, spaghetti for breakfast. I do appreciate the thought, even if it makes no practical sense whatsoever. Must be an American thing. She did mention that a man stopped by yesterday. Short, greying hair, lots of weird scars, asking about ‘strange happenings’ in the house. Sam told him about her hauntings, and apparently he had been, less than impressed. He told her he was sorry, and that she should move out, and then left without another word. [LAUGH] Creep.

I finally got up the nerve to look into the box. It’s pretty much what it says on the tin: Tapes and stationary. And cobwebs. So many goddamn cobwebs.

Nobody has said anything about Milton. I expect in the next few days someone will notice he’s gone. How do you explain something like that? I’ve been seeing it again, though. My nightmares … my nightmares have been getting worse. I keep ending up back there. I just watch, and watch, and watch, and I can’t turn away.

BETH (POST STATEMENT)

Statement ends, I suppose.

[STATIC RISES]

[STUTTERS, CONFUSED]

…. Statement? I, I don’t, I didn’t -

[STATIC FALLS]

[A SHORT SIGH]

I don’t feel better. I really thought I would. I don’t know why. Why in the world did I think that telling my stupid story to this thing would make me feel better?

The box is still sitting at the foot of my bed. I want to get rid of it, I do. So why don’t I just toss it? It would be so easy. Just … throw it out. But I can’t.

[RIFLING THROUGH THE TAPES]

Oh, huh -

[STATIC RISES]

This tape’s blank as well. I thought I’d sorted through them all, but I guess I missed one. Hm.

[TOSSES THE TAPE ASIDE]

They’re quite interesting, you know. I haven’t played any of the tapes yet, but I glanced at a few of the written accounts. Some of them are so illegible I can’t even read them but others are. Compelling. They make me feel, right. Scared, but [SIGHS]. I don’t know how to explain it.

I did some research on them, the ones I read anyways. I say research, I mean some quick Googling, a bit of asking around. They’re not real. The Magnus Institute, that’s the logo printed onto the stationary, isn’t a real place. And, as far as I can tell, these people … these people don’t exist. Anywhere. I mean, I found a few names that match but nobody who lines up to the descriptions and when I reach out to them they claim to know nothing about any of it. One of the people I called, Timothy Hodge, his name is, actually gave me the number of his psychiatrist. [LAUGH]

So maybe it’s fiction. A collection of short stories about fictional people and fictional suffering. Just a practical joke. Except, I know that it’s not. I can’t explain how, I just … Know.

I should probably move out. Only an idiot would stay in this place, after something like that. When I leave this room, I’m going to have to walk by that basement door. Every single day.. I should leave. I want to leave. I will leave. Just, not yet.

I need to understand, to unravel the mystery, and I’m getting the feeling that there is something in this box that’ll help me do just that. I’ll try to record whatever I find out. I do have another blank tape, after all. [HM] End recording.

[TAPE CLICKS OFF]

#the magnus archives #tma #tma fanfic #writing #horror #okay this is the thing i've been doing obsessively sjkdlfsf #i recorded it for myself because it's so fun to and also genuinely spooks me to listen to #anyways i should probably go make a spreadsheet for my internship bye guys #probably nobody is gonna read this so i dont even need to say but just in case ...please dont take her from me she took so much time #unreality #short story

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mfranklin21ahsgov · 4 years ago

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Election 202 Presidential Candidates Assessment

Green Party (Howie Hawkins / Angela Nicole Walker)

Monitor and Prosecute White Racist Terrorists

Federal Investigations of Local Police Misconduct

Community Control of the Police

End Mass Incarceration—Treat Drug Abuse as a Health Problem, Not a Criminal Problem

Legalize Marijuana

Decriminalize Personal Possession of Hard Drugs

Drug Treatment on Demand

Decriminalize Sex Work

Fight Corporate Crime

End Warrantless Mass Surveillance

Pardon Whistle Blowers and Political Prisoners

I agree strongly with pretty much everything on this list but there are a couple that I think could be worded a little bit better or I am just misinterpreting what it says. The one that bugs me the most is, “End Warrantless Mass Surveillance” because I can’t tell if it is saying there should be camera like in the streets because people don’t consent to them? If that is the case, then I do not agree with that at all because I think cameras are necessary to catching crime and maybe even preventing crime because they know they will be on camera. I really like the what they are saying about the policemen and how they have to be held accountable for their actions and just because they are are policemen, it doesn’t mean they just have the right to do anything with no consequences. I think legalizing weed would be smart because it is proven to be not as bad for you as alcohol and people don’t become aggressive so maybe people will make the switch to weed as they already are.

The beliefs of these candidates to coincide with the beliefs of the rest of the political platform which would be expected in my opinion because if they didn’t then why wouldn’t the candidates just run under a different party unless they knew they couldn’t compete with Biden and Trump.

Republican Party (Donald Trump / Mike Pence)

-As we all know by now, Donald Trump loves his “Men in Blue”, which I respect, but there is one problem. Donald Trump will rarely admit something they have done is wrong when in reality, they do a lot of things wrong and they need a quick reform and that would just be a start to getting this country to come closer together but he is a very stubborn person and will likely never do that. Donald Trump has given money to cities to help them restore their equipment when in reality, what they need is longer, stricter, harder, and better training. Students should not be criminalized for what they believe in.

I agree with Donald Trump in the fact that policemen are very important. I personally do not think policemen are doing more harm than good on the individual basis, but the many people are perceiving this whole situation is that all policemen are bad because a few cops are and with social media, the bad videos are obviously going to go viral much quicker than the good videos. With this being said, the few bad cops are making all the good cops look bad and so people could say that “policemen are doing more harm than good” but I think policemen get too bad of a reputation because of a few sick and cruel cops. I am not agreeing or disagreeing because didn’t put this on his website, but policemen definitely need more training and it needs to be harder to become a policeman. I do not understand why he can’t see that even with the few bad cops, people are just asking for a change and they aren’t getting it so they will continue to be angry.

This website agrees with the republican website and I wouldn’t even be surprised if the people who made the Republican Party website helped out with the Donald Trump Website and vice versa.

Peace and Freedom (Gloria la Riva / Sunil Freeman)

End mass incarceration and police brutally and end racism.End mass incarceration of oppressed and all working class people. Fully prosecute all acts of police brutality and violence. Free Leonard Peltier, Mumia Abu-Jamal and all political prisoners!

After reading through the rest of their ideals, it is really difficult for me to say that I would identify with this group or agree with them. I don’t think very much time was put into this website because one of their points was just, “end racism.” Ok... and how are you going to do that? That is what I want to know. I can’t say everyone, because there are always exceptions, but 99.9% of the United States wants to end racism. Saying that doesn’t help whatsoever. They gave no suggestion on how to end racism but if for some reason they were elected all of the sudden racism would just end? This website sort of gets on my nerves the more I read about it. This is sort of off topic, but one of the points made on this website is “Shut down all U.S. military bases around the world—bring all the troops, planes & ships home.” In my opinion, this is just super dumb. Yes, nobody likes war, but if you shut down all the military bases everywhere then all of the United States citizens will be at risk and people will come tot he United States to attack. It seems as if whoever wrote this website doesn’t think that there are still bad people in this world except for cops. I don’t see how a platform can have so much hate towards policemen but yet have faith in the rest of the world to not harm our citizens. I could have interpreted this whole thing wrong but it was really weird reading this and thinking that people actually believe in it. I do agree for the most part about the criminal justice though.

For the most part, this website agrees with the party platform but the party platform website was much broader than this website. This website went into like a few specific case scenarios but didn’t really cover the overarching theme.

American Independent (Rogue de la Fuente “Rocky” Guerra / Kanye Omari West)

-Dear Mr. Rocky de la Fuente, The issue I am concerned about isc riminal justice. I am concerned about this issue because because it is a very big issue in 2020 and different candidates want to handle it in different ways. I am currently a senior at Acalanes High School and I am researching this issue for my senior Government class. Please clarify your stance on this issue. Thank you so much for your time and good luck.

Sincerely, Mitchell Franklin

[email protected]

(Yes this was sent, I just put it here so I could fill the space with something. If he responds, then I will edit this blog post)

Libertarian (Jo Jorgensen / Jeremy “Spike” Cohen)

-We claim to be the “Land of the Free” but yet we lead the world in incarcerations. This is not to say that we should should just start letting people out of jail, but she thinks that if the crimes are not violent and if they are are drug related, then those people need help more than anything which I completely agree with. Putting them in prison will just make them even worse and maybe even turn violent. There should be no law that prohibits a person from owning an object. Whether that object is a gun, or if it is a drug. If there is no victim, there will be no crime which means she will decriminalize everyone who falls underneath that umbrella.

I agree with what Jo says because people are getting put in prison way too easily as if it is going to make them a better person. It is a known fact that putting people in prison will not make them a better person. In fact, more times than not, it makes them a worse person. What these people need is education. I disagree with the fact that all frugs should be legal. I think I interpreted that right from what she said because she said “owning an object should not criminalize anyone” but the fact of the matter is, with the worse drugs, people get addicted, then they resort to stealing which has a victim so why not just stop that from the beginning. I think they should but other than that, I really like her ideas of keeping the non violent people out of jail because it will only make them worse.

This is pretty much exactly what the party platform website said. Both this website, and the party platform liked to focus on having less people in prison and not convicting people of crimes that are not violent.

Democratic Party (Joe Biden / Kamala Harris)

-Today, too many people are incarcerated in the United States – and too many of them are black and brown. To build safe and healthy communities, we need to rethink who we’re sending to jail, how we treat those in jail, and how we help them get the health care, education, jobs, and housing they need to successfully rejoin society after they serve their time.

1. Our criminal justice system cannot be just unless we root out the racial, gender, and income-based disparities in the system.

2.Our criminal justice system must be focused on redemption and rehabilitation.

3. No one should be profiteering off of our criminal justice system.

I completely agree with all three of these main points. There was one more main point, but it was sort of summarized in the top section. The bottom one is really important. If people are making a profit off of incarcerating people (not the government because it is insanely expensive to house inmates) then they will want to keep having people incarcerated so that needs to stop, and if Biden is elected, his plan is to make sure that doesn’t happen. Another one is making sure the policemen are not being racist and if they are, they need to be punished because there is a very large number of black and brown people and part of that is because due to the people who arrest them in the first place.

This website is very similar to the Democratic website because these are the Democrats who are running for office. Both websites focused on focusing in on reforming the police foundation and incarcerating less people which is very important to a healthy community, state and nation

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clueda · 4 years ago

Note

⭐ (😍)

Reblog this if you want readers to come into your ask box and ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story, section of a story, or set of lines.

Or, send in a ⭐star⭐ to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about!

CW: SELF HARM

Hello anon! So, I am going to talk about chapters 8 and 9, which comprise the conversation Mike and John have early in John’s time at St. Bart’s where Mike tells John about Sherlock’s troubled past at the school. Y’know, the living in the roof and all that.

Firstly, the reason I chose to talk about these two chapters is because they plague me to this day. I have gone back over this fic a couple of times over the years to re-read and change little things here and there - punctuation, wording, etc. But I have been back over these two chapters more than any other parts of Juxtaposition combined because I never feel truly satisfied with them. I think it’s because they are such a huge but necessary piece of exposition, which is by its very nature a very difficult thing to pull off with tact, but I chose to do it in the most cliché/tactless way possible - a character verbally telling another character some important backstory. I think if I were to go back and write this story again, I’d go about this bit in a different way, which is why I am never 100% done editing these chapters.

That aside, there has been one major change to these chapters over the years. When I first published these chapters, Mike originally found Sherlock on the roof not just with track marks from needles, but also with self harm injuries, too. That, or he saw razor blades around Sherlock’s mattress in the attic, I can’t quite remember. Either way, self harm was very much a part of Sherlock’s backstory. But there came a point, I can’t remember when, when I decided to take that out of these chapters. I think I made that decision because I had re-read them and felt that it wasn’t necessary, and also that it was very, very clear I was projecting myself too much into the story. At the time I wrote these chapters someone very close to me was struggling with self harm, and I guess I had used chapter 9 in particular as a way to sort through my feelings about it, to process a particular incident I had gone through. There isn’t anything inherently wrong about using one’s own trauma to fuel a story, or using art as an outlet for difficult feelings - in fact, these can be good, healthy things. But looking back over these chapters, I must have decided that I didn’t need this story to do that for me. That these chapters were not the place for that for me. Perhaps they were when I first wrote them, but when I re-read them, they no longer felt helpful to me; they just felt gratuitous. So I took it out.

Something a litte more light-hearted related to these chapters: someone stole them! I got a message sometime after posting these chapters from a reader who had noticed that another AO3 writer had copy-pasted these chapters in particular into their own work. I read that work, and they hadn’t even been subtle about it - they had just changed the names and a sentence or two here and there and added a ‘this work is inspired by Clueda’ in the author’s notes. It didn’t make me angry, it kinda just bewildered me. Anyway, the reader who had informed me of these goings-on had left a stern comment on the work, and maybe I did too? I can’t remember. But as far as I am aware, the writer took it down. There is no such thing as originality, and the best artists get away with daylight robbery, but this instance of plagiarism was so blatant, so unsubtle, that it left me slack-jawed - and kind of impressed by their confidence.

Finally, as with a lot of the locations in St. Bart’s, the Doyle attic is heavily based on the attic of my old boarding house. It will surprise no-one that I attended a boarding school (something something maybe this whole fic has too much of me projecting, actually, something), and the first time I went into my boarding house’s attic, I was like, okay I am writing something about this space. It was creepy as hell. Dilapidated, crumbling, full of weird old shit - in chapter 9 Mike mentions an eyeless rocking horse: that was in there, as were the decades-old textbooks. It was once used as bedrooms, I think, which blew my mind. To think that so many people before me had found a home in this ancient nook at the top of the building, now unloved and used as storage. I could be misremembering, but I think you could even get out onto the roof - yes! I think I just remembered that some of the older pupils used it to sunbathe! Me and my friends had a great time making each other jump in there, scaring each other with old, creepy objects. So that’s where the attic came from. We weren’t allowed in there (I think I only went in twice, and each time was thrilling because of the danger of getting caught), so I wonder if any pupils know about it now, or if the knowledge of it has been lost as those who did know about it left the school.

So that’s my ‘director’s commentary’ on chapters 8 and 9. This has been a really fun trip down memory lane. Thank you, anon, for letting me ramble about these two chapters. I hope you enjoyed reading about them! xx

#asks

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theonyxpath · 5 years ago

Link

Questions! We get questions every day, and while a lot of them start with “when”, as in “when is my favorite book coming out?”, a fair number are more about some integral things that aren’t obvious to folks if they haven’t been lucky enough to read this blog regularly.

Unlike you, my fine friend, who no doubt already know a lot of the following! But I bet there’s a few things in there even you can use brushing up on!

“In order to put out so many game lines, Onyx Path must be a big TableTopRPG company with lots of employees, right?”

Well, we work with a lot of talented freelance creators, but there’s only four actual staff members, so no, not really big at all. There’s myself, as founder and Creative Director, Mighty Matt McElroy as our Operations Director, Lisa Thomas as our Office Manager, and Mirthful Mike Chaney, our Art Director and primary Graphic Designer.

The hundreds of writers, editors, artists, designers, and developers we work with all around the world are all freelancers – that means that they are hired with a contract. Sometimes per project, sometimes for a time period to do a particular agreed-upon set of goals.

“You mean that those lovable scamps from the Onyx Pathcast – Dixie, Eddy, and Matthew – aren’t staff members?”

Correct! Although the Pathcast is one fun thing that they do for us, and their biggest responsibilities lie in shepherding our projects, all three of them are freelancers for us. Albeit freelancers who are part of our weekly meeting to cover how all our projects and the company in general are doing because they are just really great at what they do.

Being freelance also means that our creators can easily take part in other projects for other companies – which is something I encourage. More experience from any source means that a creator is building their expertise, and that means better and better projects for all of us.

We also hire consultants when needed – sometimes for long periods, sometimes on a project – to cover viewpoints or areas of expertise we need to have. Sometimes to cover the nuts and bolts, day to day needs of part of our business, like working with translation partners or like James, our Kickstarter concierge, that our usual crew don’t have the bandwidth for.

TC: Aeon Distant Worlds art by Michele Giorgi

“I heard Onyx Path was secretly still owned by White Wolf, and that you, Rich Thomas, were still with WW.”

That sounds like an internet rumor, and we all know how reliable those are!

So, no. I left WW a few years after the merger of WW with CCP and started Onyx Path Publishing in 2012. I am the sole owner. Other than being a licensee of the current White Wolf/Paradox, we have no other connection with them on a business level. Again, let me underline that no other company has any sort of ownership of or ability to control Onyx Path.

Also, Eddy Webb does not own Onyx Path, or even part of it. Because I’ve heard that rumor, too. He owns Pugsteady, which is a very good company all on its own.

M20 Book of the Fallen art by Michael Gaydos

“But you do own Exalted, right?”

Nope. Exalted, Chronicles of Darkness, and the World of Darkness books that White Wolf/Paradox allows us to publish under license still belong to them.

Beyond the fact of WW‘s ownership of those IPs, what that means for you noble readers and players is that Onyx Path has limits as to what we can publish based on what the owners of the game lines are comfortable with us publishing. For example, we get a lot of this sort of question:

“Why won’t you make Hunter The Reckoning, Demon: The Fallen, or, OMG, Mummy 20th Anniversary Editions?

And the reason is: we would – if it was cool with White Wolf/Paradox. Unless they give the OK, about these or any of the books we publish under the license with them, we have no legal right to just put out a book. This has been true for us going back to when CCP granted Onyx Path the license, so it’s not something nefarious, just how this license works.

The Realms of Pugmire game lines, Cavaliers of Mars, Dystopia Rising: Evolution, and Legendlore, are also licensed lines as well, with different sorts of contracts that specify different things as part of their terms.

The game lines we own, and therefore have a much wider latitude on how the lines develop, are: Scion, Scarred Lands, They Came From Beneath the Sea! and the Trinity Continuum. Without outside approvals, we can move a lot faster with our decisions as to what projects to do next, and how fast, and in what order, and where they are sold, and, well, just everything.

So if it seems like you’re hearing and seeing a lot more hoopla about our owned lines lately, that’s a huge part of the reason: we can just decide on Scion Pantheon Journals in a meeting Monday, and they can go on sale on RedBubble on Wednesday.

By Jove! That’s actually what’s happening this week! What a coincidence!

TC: Aeon Distant Worlds art by Sam Denmark

“You didn’t announce anything new at GenCon, and the First Draft section is getting kind of thin. What’s up? You guys out of ideas?”

Far from it! I think the Project Progress section here on the blog can be, or at least, has been, misleading in this regard. What we’ve had happening for the past year or year and a half, has been a kind of bloat brought on by us finally finishing a bunch of old Kickstarter and other projects, and being up-to-date on current Kickstarter and other projects.

Plus, we have multiple pitches that we’ve been waiting to hear on – relating to my notes above about approvals from our Licensors. Doesn’t make sense for us to get writers started until the projects have been given the green light.

Most importantly, we’ve several bigger projects still under wraps: from working out just what we want to do all the way to finishing the outlines for writers. For example, now that we ran the Trinity Continuum: Aberrant KS, we’re working on TC: Adventure! and actively discussing how to bring all that’s awesome about a pulp-genre setting to modern audiences, while dealing with the more problematic aspects of the time period.

Oh yes, there are still many games we want to create and we are all set to develop more projects for our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

Kickstarter!

Keep an eye out in this space as well as on our social media for the Deviant: The Renegades Kickstarter that will be launching after August wraps up!

Onyx Path Media!

This Friday’s Onyx Pathcast features our Terrific Trio deep in anticipatory antics about upcoming games they’re excited about!

Today in the media we’re mainly going to talk about our Twitch channel! As you can see from the schedule, we have games planned for Scion, Pugmire, TC: Aberrant, Scarred Lands, Vampire, and there’s so much more to come! Please do check us out and if you have an Amazon Prime account, and aren’t already subscribed to a Twitch channel, you can subscribe to ours for free for exclusive content! Here’s the channel for you, and thank you so much for keeping up with our content: https://www.twitch.tv/theonyxpath/

And if you missed it, here’s episode zero of Paws & Claws, our Pugmire actual play on the Twitch channel: https://youtu.be/Y519d9Cmx7g

We have of course produced videos beyond that, including this video here where Matthew asks for your They Came From ideas: https://youtu.be/ek8x-eoJ2Tc

And the Onyx Path News went live today. Find the link to today’s episode here: https://youtu.be/XE1kAsRYIJw Matthew talks all about new releases, Kickstarter, Backerkit, community content, our media, and his favourite authors!

We’d be remiss if we didn’t promote some of our favorites too. As our main focus is on our own Twitch today, we’re going to point you in the direction of only a couple more channels, but the big list of streams will return next week!

Here’s Occultists Anonymous (who are also appearing on our Twitch channel) with their Mage: The Awakening actual play: Episode 36: After emerging from Atratus’ soul and getting a frenzied call from Mammon, Wyrd the Seer and Songbird investigate their cabalmate’s disappearance. https://youtu.be/GopIcUu-rAU

And the excellent Story Told Podcast continues their superb Dragon-Blooded actual play here, so do tune in if you’re interested in Exalted: http://thestorytold.libsyn.com/fall-of-jiara-episode-12

Drop Matthew a message via the contact button on matthewdawkins.com if you have actual plays, reviews, or game overviews you want us to profile on the blog!

Please check any of these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games!

Electronic Gaming!

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)

On Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

Our Sales Partners!

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio2, and they have the 5e version, supplements, and dice as well!: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands

Scion 2e books and other products are available now at Studio2: https://studio2publishing.com/blogs/new-releases/scion-second-edition-book-one-origin-now-available-at-your-local-retailer-or-online

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link! And NOW Scion Origin and Scion Hero are available to order!

As always, you can find most of Onyx Path’s titles at DriveThruRPG.com!

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, we’re offering a selection of Scion pantheon themed journals on our RedBubble store!

Conventions!

Save Against Fear: October 12th – 14th GameHoleCon: October 31st – November 3rd PAX Unplugged: December 6th – 8th 2020: Midwinter: January 9th – 12th

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Many-Faced Strangers – Lunars Companion (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Contagion Chronicle: Global Outbreaks (Chronicles of Darkness)

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad (Scarred Lands)

Vigil Watch (Scarred Lands)

Pirates of Pugmire KS-Added Adventure (Realms of Pugmire)

Player’s Guide to the Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Contagion Chronicle Jumpstart (Chronicles of Darkness)

Lunars Novella (Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Redlines

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Wraith20 Fiction Anthology (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Titanomachy (Scion 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)

Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Development

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

TC: Aeon Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Manuscript Approval

Geist 2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

W20 Shattered Dreams Gift Cards (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

W20 Art Book (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

Post-Approval Development

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

V5 Chicago Screen (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Let the Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Editing

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

TC: Aeon Ready-Made Characters (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Hunter: The Vigil 2e core (Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition)

Chicago Folio/Dossier (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Post-Editing Development

Memento Mori (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e Companion)

DR:E Threat Guide – Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

DR:E Jumpstart (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

Heroic Land Dwellers (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Indexing

ART DIRECTION FROM MIKE CHANEY!

In Art Direction

Contagion Chronicle

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant

Hunter: The Vigil 2e

Ex3 Lunars – Contracted.

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – Contracted. Sketches already coming in.

TCfBtS!: Heroic Land Dwellers – Contracted. LeBlanc doing the splats.

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed – Thinking I throw a bunch of this at Vince and Trabbold.

Ex3 Monthly Stuff

DR:E Threat Guide – Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties – Michele is doing the critters.

Deviant (KS) – Contracted.

Trinity RMCs – Getting Riley on these this week.

Cults of the Blood God (KS) – Mark is in to do fulls and cover.

Chicago Folio – Lemme see who I got left post KS art buy for Cults. I am gonna try to get Paul Lee to do the fulls.

Mummy 2 (KS) – Got Matthew’s notes.

In Layout

CoM – Witch Queen of the Shadowed Citadel

Dark Eras 2 – Files with Aileen

Trinity Continuum Aeon: Distant Worlds

VtR Spilled Blood – For Josh.

DR:E Jumpstart

Aeon Aexpansion

Proofing

C20 Cup of Dreams

V5: Chicago – Inputting errata.

Geist 2e – XX’s and then Indexing.

Signs of Sorcery – Inputting errata.

M20 Book of the Fallen

DR: E – Inputting errata.

At Press

Dragon Blooded – Deluxe at Studio2, shipping.

Dragon-Blooded Cloth Map – At Studio2, shipping.

Dragon-Blooded Screen – Shipped to Studio2, shipping.

Trinity Core Screen – At Studio2.

TC Aeon Screen – At Studio2.

Trinity: In Media Res – PoD proofs coming.

Trinity Core – Printing.

Trinity Aeon – Printing.

Shunned By the Moon – PoD proof ordered.

Today’s Reason to Celebrate!

Born on this date in 1921 – Gene Roddenberry, who, love him or leave him, got Star Trek on the air and set the stage for many, many, folks’ first introduction to science fiction – and utopian science fiction at that! Plus, because why not, this is also the birthday of William Marshall in 1924, who appeared on Star Trek as Professor Richard Daystrom, and whose amazing voice graced us as both Blackula and the King of Cartoons! Also, to continue the Star Trek theme: in 1938, Diana Muldaur, who appeared on both the Original Series, and on STtNG as Dr. Pulaski, was born, and last but not the least likely to get it on on an alien planet, William T. Riker’s portrayer, Jonathan Frakes, was born in 1952. (Bill Clinton was also born on this date in 1946, and while we all know he’d give Riker a run for his money, he was never on Star Trek – just a US President.)

#Onyx Path Publishing

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thesportssoundoff · 6 years ago

Text

The 2018 UFC Calendar That Remains And One Man’s Stupid Attempt To Book It

Joey

July 23rd

Before we begin, I began this project the day before the UFC's debut in Boise. I figured all things considered it would take me about a week give or take to flesh this whole thing out. It took me a week JUST to get through October. I got to the Denver show on Friday and that was when the UFC dropped all sorts of news about Edgar/Korean Zombie and Mike Perry/Donald Cerrone co-headlining said show. I haven't edited it. I'm not going to edit it. IF ANYTHING, I think not touching what I did before Friday is an important piece of the puzzle. Nothing really puts this project into perspective like having to look at what you did and then something immediately changing that renders it moot. Everything AFTER the UFC in Denver was done pretty much on Sunday night.

The UFC released their schedule this week for the rest of the year. There's a lot of fights upcoming, perhaps more than you can shake a stick at. You're talking 14 events, 7 in the US, 1 in Russia, 1 in China, 2 in South America (Brazil and probably Argentina), 2 in Canada and 1 in the always cool Australia. If you give the UFC it's usual average of 12 fights a show then you're looking at probably 168 fights across the course of four months. We've got 3 in September, 2 in October, 5 in November and 4 in December which is about close-ish to what we got last year. Of course two of those cards are on Fight Pass, one is on Big Fox, five are on PPV and unless I'm mistaken the remaining 6 are on FS1. I did this in the beginning of the year (foolishly I might add) but now with the year coming to a close, I might as well take one final swing at it am I right? Here's my belief on what we're going to get from the UFC to close out 2018 from show to show and as Brock Lesnar once lovingly said "From sea to shining sea!"

September 8th

Dallas, Texas

UFC 228

Main Event: Tyron Woodley vs Colby Covington

Co-Main Event: Valentina Shevchenko vs Nicco Montano

There's really nothing immediately on the docket to feel comfortable about as a headliner. A natural-ish fit would be Ortega vs Holloway in a rebooking but Holloway's return to action is unknown. Jeremy Stephens, if he beats Aldo of course, could fight Edgar or Ortega for an interim title fight here if need be. Frankie is apparently a week away from being able to train again so an early July to early September set up is plenty of time for a dude who is well known for his ability to be ready regardless of the circumstances. Already announced we have Zhabit/Yair and Jon Dodson vs Jimmie Rivera plus it seems pretty likely that Montano vs Shevchenko is getting announced soon-ish. That's not a main event and shouldn't be confused as such BUT it could be a respectable #2 on the bill.

September 15th

Moscow, Russia

UFC Fight Night

Main Event: Mark Hunt vs Aleksei Olynik

Co-Main Event: Shamil Abdurakhimov vs Andrei Arlovski

Consider this a mild, tepid dipping of the toe into the Russian fight market. The UFC's first event in Russia is a Fight Pass card; not even cracking the likes of FS1 or a PPV setting. While China got Anderson Silva and Kelvin Gastelum, Russia was getting Fabricio Werdum and Alexey Oleynik. That's still a fine main event but clearly not on the same level as the perceived GOAT and the top MW prospect in the division. That fight got USADA'd and in its place, we got Hunt vs Oleynik which is totally fine. A co-main event of Curtis Blaydes vs Alexander Volkov fell apart with Blaydes being hurt and Volkov opting to get paid to weigh in as a UFC 226 replacement. The UFC cut prices before the event to, in so many words, allow for poor people to get into the event and seats apparently are going to be at your standard UFC Fight Pass levels where they open up the bowl sections and ground floor only. There's been some rumors of the likes of Islam Makachev, Jorge Masvidal, Jimi Manuwa, Petr Yan, Nikita Krylov and Mairbek Taisumov (!) all getting a chance to fight but I'm betting when all's said and done, we're looking at Arlovski and Abdurakhimov being our co-main event of the evening. Or morning depending on where you are.

September 22nd

Sao Paolo, Brazil

UFC Fight Night

Main Event: John Lineker vs Raphael Assuncao

Co-Main Event: Alex "Cowboy" Oliveira vs Neil Magny

The UFC's brazilian ranks are being casually wiped out be it due to injuries, ineffectiveness, fighters leaving or retiring. The last show of the year from Brazil needs A GUY but finding A GUY who can headline is sort of tough in this market. The one thing I hold steadfast is the possibility that they could actually try giving a female fighter a chance to headline (Gadelha vs Calderwood at 125 lbs was something I thought of). I even figured Demian Maia is always like a phone call away as well but I can't think of a guy I'm excited to see him fight (or just a guy for him to fight at all). Gimme Lineker vs Assuncao in a true #1 contender fight since Marlon Moraes' two amazing highlight reel KOs probably vaults him about Raphael even with the loss. Also keep an eye on Formiga vs Pettis here as well since it's a natural "no shit" #1 contender fight at flyweight.

October 6th

Las Vegas, Nevada

UFC 229

Main Event: Conor McGregor vs Khabib Nurmagomedov

Co-Main Event: Holly Holm vs Ketlein Vieira

We've already got the unofficial official announcements of Sean O'Malley and Frankie Edgar/Korean Zombie for Vegas. One of the rumors going around is that the UFC plans on doing something, likely an interim placeholder title, for Holm vs Vieira. If so, you should absolutely do it on THIS card because the only way you're going to get folks excited about that fight is if it's got a McGregor-esque support attached to it. Conor vs Khabib will probably happen this year, if not in October then I'd bet in MSG. Conor vs Khabib IMO is a serious test of what is or isn't a big buyrate these days. The last BIG fight we had was Gennady-Canelo which did (IMO) a somewhat surprisingly meh 1.2 million----and this should beat that and comfortably. If it doesn't then we've got shit to talk about. Conor/Khabib, Holm/Vieira, Edgar/Zombie, O'Malley plus Darren Till (who apparently is a lock for this card) seems like a damn good top 5 to me.

October 27th

Moncton, Canada

Fight Night on FS1

Main Event: Rafael Dos Anjos vs Kamaru Usman

Co-Main Event: Ilir Latifi vs the winner of Glover Teix/Corey Anderson

I don't know what necessarily is in Moncton but the UFC tries in theory to go to new markets and bring special cards. The problem is they always tend to get picked apart due to injuries. As for this card? Well there were rumors that Usman vs RDA was the next fight to make in the Fall sometime and this seems like a fine enough time for it. Usman could also be a sleeper for the 170 lb title picture if there's an injury or whatever. As for the co-main? By all accounts Ilir is expected to be back in the middle of the Fall and so I'm betting this could be a good enough time. Latifi vs the winner of Glover/Corey Anderson isn't a perfect fight but there are worse fights to be co-main events. If anything it's a relevant fight at a division that's still trying to figure out what relevant is. Throw in PVZ vs Rachael Ostovich (come on now it HAS to happen) and Elias Theodorou for good measure for main card related purposes.

November 3rd

New York, New York

UFC 230

Main Event: Jon Jones vs Daniel Cormier

Co-Main Event: Brian Ortega vs the Jeremy Stephens/Jose Aldo winner or Max Holloway Third title fight: Cody Garbrandt/TJ Dillashaw winner vs Marlon Moraes Yoel Romero vs Ovince St. Preux Chris Weidman vs Paolo Costa

I'm betting that we're going to get the Jon Jones news any day now of a one year suspension redacted to July. If so, I'm betting the UFC puts Jones vs DC together with Cormier knowing that win or lose, the Brock fight awaits. DC seems really open to fighting at 205 lbs in the interim while he waits for Brock so I'm guessing/betting that if it's not Jones then it's a Shogun or a Gus here in this spot. The co-main event is a little more....prickly. Until I hear something about Max Holloway, I'm going to continue to believe that the rumors about him suffering something traumatic during his weight cut are true enough for me to not think we see him again this year. That means Ortega's going to have to fight somebody for the belt and if so, the winner of Stephens/Aldo lines up pretty damn well time wise. If Stephens knocks off Aldo then he'll have earned this shot no questions asked. The third title fight (because MSG tradition says three) was a toss up between Mighty Mouse coming back, the rumored Nunes/Cyborg fight or the TJ/Cody winner. Marlon Moraes is coming off of TWO 1st round finishes of the highest order and I think that puts him above Assuncao who has a better overall resume (and the win tie breaker) but no flashy "This is my title shot" moment. Moraes has that. As for the rest of the main card? Yoel Romero vs Gus seems like THE perfect fight to make but Gustafsson is seemingly not up for a Romero clash. That could in turn open the door for Romero vs OSP since they seem to gel up timeline wise (Romero had surgery, OSP has a family matter he's dealing with). Chris Weidman vs Paolo Costa is a rumored fight the UFC wants to put together for MSG and I'd be totally okay with that fight for both guys. Throw in some "names" on the undercard and this card could/should be the 2nd biggest show of the year. If Jones vs DC III with two title fights doesn't get people excited then I'm not sure what else there is to offer y'all.

November 10th

Denver, Colorado

25th Anniversary Fight Night

Main Event: Tony Ferguson vs Dustin Poirier/Eddie Alvarez loser

Co-Main Event: Donald Cerrone vs Mike Perry (at 170)/Kevin Lee (at 155)

The UFC has built a whole marketing promotion for this one so this show might get a big damn deal. Tony Ferguson vs the loser of Poirier/Alvarez seems like a natural-ish fit for this card given that Ferguson is expected to be back by the end of 2018. Ferguson isn't getting the Khabib/Conor winner and I get the feeling that if Poirier wins, he's getting the title shot. This is a damn important stay busy fight at lightweight for both guys. As for Cerrone vs Perry? Donald Cerrone is a big deal in Colorado and if he stays at WW, this is a damn good fight for him. Otherwise? I like Cerrone vs Kevin Lee as a fight if Cerrone TRULY wants to try 155 lbs again. He shouldn't but if he does? Good fit for me. I like this fight a bunch. Throw in Sage Northcutt (!!!!!!!), Chad Mendes vs Mirsad Bektic, Do Bronz Oliveira vs David Teymur, Cat Zingano vs Rocky Pennington and the Rivera/Dodson winner vs Alejandro Perez and we're off to the races!

November 17th

Buenos Aires, Argentina

Fight Night

Main Event: Santiago Ponzinibbio vs Leon Edwards

Co-Main EVent: Dominick Reyes vs Jan Blachowicz

Take two! The UFC heads into Argentina (after flirting with a November 2017/Feb 2018 visit) and with Ponz healthy and ready to go, I'd imagine Argentina is about to experience a Ponzi Scheme. Ya like that? I like it. Ponzinnibio vs Edwards feels like a great piece of matchmaking given their respective winning streaks and the fact that Till, Covington and Usman have all leapfrogged them in the division. Good easy work here. The co-main is more about finding out what Dominick Reyes CAN'T do at this point. I've seen him steamroll dudes with enough ease to get a little curious/froggy as to what necessarily else he's got for us. I am, dare I say, intrigued. Jan has proven himself again after an up and down UFC run. The time is now and it'll never be more ready than now for thesetwo. Blachowicz might even be overqualified for the job but who cares? There's plenty of fun developing Latin American talent to find a spot for on this show, like Julio Arce, Moggly Benitez, Vicente Luque (Brazilian with Chilean roots), the eternally underrated Enrique Barzola and some of the other fine Latin American fighters in the UFC and trying to get into the UFC.

November 24th

Shanghai, China

UFC Fight Night (likely on Fight Pass)

Main Event: Francis Ngannou vs Marcin Tybura

Co-Main Event: Walt Harris vs the Arlovski/Shamil Adburahkhimov winner

Would the UFC try to run back Anderson Silva in China? I'm not sure they wouldn't consider it. As more and more decent Chinese fighters start to filter into the UFC, the Chinese market seems to actually be on the verge of finally breaking through. If there's one thing the UFC is frequently "good" at; it's sending big dudes to foreign markets to try and appeal to casual audiences with size. With the likes of Song Yadong, Li Jingliang, Guan Wang, Kenan Song and some of the Chinese female mixed martial artists at the ready; the undercard should be loaded up with local-ish talent who can be relied upon for undercard support. With that being laid down? Go big at the top. I can't think of a more direct message to send to Francis Ngannou than to put him on a Fight Pass event while still getting max value out of him with a big main event for an international crowd. Ngannou vs Tybura is a fine test for Francis and it trumps a rumored JDS fight which doesn't make a whole bunch of sense given that JDS is coming off his first win in forever while Ngannou has dropped two in a row. Throw in a Yushin Okami fight as well just to confirm you hate your audience. We all know you do! Also would be totally down for Li Jingliang vs Chad Laprise or someone of that ilk.

November 30th

Las Vegas, Nevada

TUF Finale

Main Event: Derrick Lewis vs Justin Willis

Co-Main Event: One of the TUF Finales (below that though and another TUF finale, Brad Tavares vs Thiago Marreta)

If big dudes throwing punches isn't your thing then November might be a rough month for y'all. I ALMOST went with JDS here but I'll pass on that one to be honest. Lewis vs Justin Willis is a good test for Willis and with a lengthy stretch of time off, the Black Beast can maybe get his back right. Wouldn't be opposed to Mark Hunt vs Lewis II either. This is the last TUF of all time and it features HWs so might as well give them a HW fight too.

December 1st

Adelaide, Australia

Fight Night

Main Event: Israel Adesanya vs Derek Brunson

Co-Main Event: Alexander Volkanovski vs Josh Emmett

The Australian/Kiwi/NZ fighter's revolution is still off and popping. Right on time too as the UFC is heading to Australia in December with dudes like Tai Tuavasa, Dan Hooker, Alexander Volkanovski, Jessica Rose Clark and Israel Adesanya at the top of the run. RIGHT off the jump we've got a problem as Yoel Romero and Luke Rockhold are out of the division, Weidman and Costa are matched up, Jacare and Brunson are matched up and you've got Gastelum waiting on Whittaker. That in turn leads us to Adesanya vs Derek Brunson win or lose vs Shoeface. At this point I feel like Adesanya has been sped up so fast that it's basically a lock that he'll take on a Brunson type next. That brings us to the co-main where it's time for Volkanovski to get a bigger name. Dude's earned this shot. Volkanovski vs Emmett makes sense or even Volkanovski vs Lamas, Bektic or any of THOSE guys would be damn cool. Throw in Tai Tuavasa vs a fun punching bag and you've got one hell of a top three and Tyson Pedro vs Devin Clark too.

December 8th

Toronto, Canada

UFC 231

Main Event: Rose Namajunas vs Karolina Kowalkiewicz/Jessica Andrade winner

Co-Main Event: Junior Dos Santos vs Mark Hunt 2 Anderson Silva vs Uriah Hall Stephen Thompson vs Gunnar Nelson Jordan Mein vs Michael Chiesa

The UFC is going to try and give Toronto something special. This SEEMED on paper like the perfect spot to roll out the Whittaker vs Gaselum title fight but Rob is out into February. An interim fight here doesn't make much sense I guess. The best option is probably the most likely option and that's going to be a 115 lb title fight at the top of the bill. In the mean time and in between time, I'm a big fan of the idea of giving the strawweight division EVERY chance to succeed. Maybe a 115 lb title fight won't draw a major crowd on its own but JDS vs Mark Hunt 2 and Anderson Silva (!) makes for a damn fine balance of options across the board for a main card. Throw in two good WW fights plus every Canadian under the sun in the prelim spots and I think we're good to go here!

December 15th

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

UFC on Fox

Main Event: Alexander Gustafsson vs Luke Rockhold

Co-Main Event: Anthony Pettis vs Al Iaquinta

Outside of just popping a number for old time's sake, the UFC really has no incentive to do anything "big" here. It's a finale for Fox, one last chance for them and the UFC to put on a good show before Fox goes into bed with pro bowling and the UFC moves on to ESPN. The main event is a fine enough rebooking as Rockhold's debut at 205 vs Alexander Gustafsson still SEEMS like a pretty great idea. It's not a Milwaukee showcase without Anthony Pettis as the dude looks to continue his career rebuild at 155 lbs. I'm not entirely all in on yet on his return BUT I'm loving the idea of it. I ALMOST went with Mighty Mouse here vs Sergio Pettis as the main event but I don't know if that fight happens on Fox since there's really no major incentive for it to be on Fox. Throw in Mackenzie Dern vs Jessica Aguilar in a showcase fight/test for Dern and Edson Barboza vs David Teymur and we should be fine enough to go here.

December 29th

Las Vegas, Nevada

UFC 229

Main Event: Amanda Nunes vs Cris Cyborg

Co-Main Event: TJ/Cody loser vs Dominick Cruz

Carlos Condit vs Robbie Lawler Cynthia Calvillo vs Michelle Waterson Khalil Rountree vs Jimi Manuwa

And so we might as well end the year hot. With the final show in Vegas, it sure seems like some form of Nunes vs Cyborg is happening. In truth it's the biggest fight that WMMA can conjure up currently so I have no issue with that. Beyond that though? I think no fight is going to sell like that one will so you might as well support the undercard for thee last remaining WMMA anti-fans. Don't want to see Nunes vs Cyborg? Well how about a rematch of the best WW fight ever @ your mom about it? Lawler should be back by then and Condit has already said he wants one more go of it at 170 lbs. If ANY fight is going to get people up for one last final run, it's that one. TJ or Cody vs Dom Cruz buys us some time for Assuncao and company to maybe get a title fight in the interim. That and TJ vs Cruz 2 still has some high upside appeal to me. Calvillo vs Waterson may not appeal to everybody but Waterson is usually in a fun fight and I'm still high up on Calvillo's upside. Khalil Rountree probably fights four times between now and this show but I really think Rountree vs Manuwa can be a bonkers striking battle. Throw in Zhabit Magomedsharipov, Claudia Gadelha vs Felice Herrig, some combination of DWTCS guys, a HW fight of a high caliber and plenty of fake rumors about a second title fight and we're off to the races!

#MMA #UFC #Scheduling #Match Making #Fucking Hell

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shirlleycoyle · 4 years ago

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My Life as a Meme: ‘I Can’t Believe You’ve Done This’ Revisited

In November 2007, an entirely contextless video of me being punched in the face went viral. You might have seen it. It still does the rounds every couple of months, often when something notably bad happens that warrants a response of disbelief. In these strange times, it’s managed to remain endlessly prescient.

For the uninitiated, the video in question is an 11-second clip in which, aged 16, I appear wearing a dressing gown cord around my head, a chain necklace, some children’s sunglasses and a black T-shirt. I sit down and address the camera, ostensibly about to tell the viewer what I was thinking. I am immediately interrupted by my friend Tim, who appears stage left and lamps me. Rather than react in pain or anger, I err more towards disappointment and dismay, bewildered that something like this could happen. “Ah fuck. I can’t believe you’ve done this,” I said. End scene.

It’s been nearly 14 years since I uploaded the original video and to this day it still prompts questions. Who was the guy who got punched? Why did he get punched? Who punched him? What was he thinking? Why did he react that way? Why did he leave YouTube?

In recent years I’ve come to appreciate and even enjoy its bizarre status as an enduring piece of internet history, but my relationship with the clip in the decade that followed its inexorable rise hasn’t always been easy. To understand why, it’s useful to remember that the internet in 2007 was, for better or worse, a very different place.

Having spent the best part of my school years filming stupid skits with mates instead of studying, there was something semi-appealing about the prospect of being able to put videos online to share with friends. It began in mid-2003, when myself and a group of friends would have been in our early teens. Inspired by the likes of Jackass and Bam Margera’s CKY movies, our impressionable young selves set about ignoring all relevant safety warnings, hurling ourselves out of trees, riding scooters into curbs, and racing tyres down hills on skateboards.

At the age of 14 or so, I had envisaged cutting the footage into a chaotic feature-length video of “stunts.” I’d probably have soundtracked it with music from the Tony Hawk games, alongside countless other homemade skate videos people made circa 2003 that probably featured a mix of Ace of Spades or Guerilla Radio. I still have a box full of VHS-C tapes kicking around somewhere, which can only be viewed on one of those absolutely insane VHS adapters. Having not watched any of it in well over a decade, I can safely say that the content contained within those tapes is unequivocally shit.

All of a sudden you're everywhere and it's out of your control. You either try to fight it and get destroyed, or embrace it and try to cash in.

Looking back, the whole endeavour was entirely aimless, but aside from coming away with mild head injuries from time to time it was an innocuous way to spend my childhood. At the very least it also means I have a bizarre, tangible record of my youth that I’ll be able to laugh at one day when I’m old and wizened.

By summer 2004, we had started filming on Mini-DV, which opened up a whole new world of editing possibilities. Plugging a video camera into a computer and capturing footage directly to editing software is pretty much a given for today’s generation of content creators, but back in the early 2000s, this was revolutionary.

We’d eventually gravitate away from ‘stunts’ towards more structured skits and sketches. Nothing was ever scripted per se, but we’d usually start out with a rough idea of something and see how it played out.

There was an ambitiously misguided 'silent horror' short, soundtracked by Mike Oldfield’s Tubular Bells, in which someone chopped off ‘my cock’ (a banana) with a garden shear. We considered this to be the absolute pinnacle of comedy.

There was an ill-advised 'Ballers' skit in which we ventured out in sports gear to make a mock training video taking the piss out of a guy at school who fancied himself as a bit of a gangster; this painfully middle-class white kid who listened to rap metal and liked basketball. He obviously never saw it and there's no question that we looked like idiots filming it at the local park. It’s probably quite offensive in hindsight.

The author at the Bristol Climate Change Protests in September 2019. Image: Shanya Buultjens

There was a James Bond 'spoof' that involved misquoting portions of dialogue from that scene in GoldenEye where Q gives Bond an exploding pen. It was funny to about three people. One of them was my mum.

One time a mate of mine fell out of a tree when he tried to swing from a branch. He landed on his back and ended up coughing up blood. He didn’t go to the hospital even though he probably should have. He’s now a doctor and a father.

Mercifully, none of this stuff ever made it online, but I did sell a couple of DVDs to people at school who rightly/probably/hopefully never watched them. In an ideal world, I'd own the only copies. I'm also fully aware that writing about this now only makes it more likely that one of the four people that still have a copy will dig theirs out. Please do not do that.

In 2005 and 2006, YouTube was very much in its infancy. This was the time when clips were limited to about 100mb and you could only upload about 30 seconds worth of footage at a time, which basically made it perfect for bursts of frenetic, inane content. As the platform grew, it became a dumping ground for skits and footage that we’d accumulated over the preceding years. Much of it went completely unnoticed until late 2007, at which point things started to get a bit weird.

The truth is that, nearly a decade and a half later, I’m still processing it.

The clip that people have come to know started out as an aimless skit filmed in Summer 2006. We hadn’t planned anything, least of all me being punched. In the footage building up to the event, I pushed Tim off the chair, he fell and hit his head on a filing cabinet off-camera. Rather than react to Tim, I sat down and proceeded to ad lib something that I’d venture to guess would have been considerably less funny than the act of violence that followed. Unprompted, Tim upsided me and I reacted with an inexplicable, completely incredulous response, which has followed me online ever since.

The footage sat on a tape until July 2007 when I decided to upload a brief segment under an ambiguous title. Fast forward to November and the video had somehow blown up, had its comments section relentlessly spammed, been ripped countless times and had offensive Wiki pages written about it. I also received a few direct messages which could at best have been described as ‘worrying’ and at worst ‘threatening,’ which was nice.

To this day, I’m none the wiser as to how it blew up in the way it did. I originally uploaded the video under the title ‘ ___________’ but the video somehow found its way onto 4chan where it spread like wildfire. The earliest mirrored link I could find was from January 2008, by which time it had been re-uploaded by multiple accounts, the most prominent of which had already clocked up almost double the number of views compared to my original upload.

At the time, going viral wasn't really comparable to any other experience and it certainly wasn't something I could discuss in solidarity with my friends. All of a sudden you're everywhere and it's out of your control. You either try to fight it and get destroyed, or embrace it and try to cash in. After yanking down several other videos on my YouTube channel, I opted for the latter.

When the video blew up, I got a call from a friend who informed me that the video had made the front page of Break.com. I peripherally knew what that meant: they offered a buyout scheme for videos that made the front page, which meant that I could make some money from it.

As it transpired, this wasn’t such a great idea. After signing a release form with some pretty appalling terms, over the following months I had several unnerving interactions with researchers for various TV shows looking to license the clip. Each offered far more favourable terms than those of Break. One of them harassed a bunch of my mates on Facebook. I think he even offered to pay one of them for my contact details.

By that point, it was all too apparent that I had completely fucked it. Break had the rights and I couldn't do anything with it even if I wanted to. At just 18 years old, I had sold out. In the short term, I used the money to buy a TV, which was great, but I soon started to get the creeping feeling that this was a decision that would come to haunt me. At that point, it was easier to disassociate myself from the clip, abandon YouTube, and move on with my life.

And yet, for the best part of 14 years the questions have kept coming: no, it wasn’t staged or scripted, it wasn’t a set-up, I didn’t know it was coming and, yes, it hurt. It was also very funny, which is presumably why I felt the need to upload it in isolation in the first place. Incidentally, Tim and I are still friends and contrary to some of the absolutely insane comments people leave on YouTube I can confirm that neither of us are in prison, the punch wasn’t a reaction to some sort of disagreement and he’s a lovely bloke.

To be clear, the lack of context wasn’t a deliberate choice to add intrigue either. I’d never even considered the possibility that anyone outside my circle of friends would see it. To me it was just another daft clip that a few mates would find funny.

Around the time I’d started to make peace with the issues around ownership, in 2018 it came to my attention that Break had shut down and its owner Defy Media had gone bust. The site was subsequently purchased by Yeah1 Network, but to this day I have no clarity whatsoever on my legal rights to the video. Any attempts to receive guidance have either turned up dead ends, or led to suggestions that I speak to IP lawyers, whom I have neither the means nor the time to deal with. Incidentally, if anyone has any insights in that area, I’d love to hear them.

Having said this, there’s something quite empowering in taking something embarrassing and admitting to it before someone else can point it out to you—a bit like taking ownership of an amusing surname. I’ll leave it to you to figure out what gags can be made from the name ‘Weedon,’ but I learned quite early on that if you make the jokes yourself and beat others to it, no one can fucking touch you. It’s much easier nowadays to hold my hands up and admit that I shouldn’t have sold the rights, make a joke of it and move on. At the very least, it makes for a good anecdote at parties.

As I suspect is probably the case for old content creators, if you can even call us that, the real story about I Can’t Believe You’ve Done This isn’t in how it’s aged and endured, or even how it’s impacted my life. For me, it’s tied up in issues of rights, ownership, and monetisation. As mercenary as it might be, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t regret missing out on a slice of the pie when it came to YouTubers being able to monetise their content sooner. On the one hand, that's probably a very cynical view for something that was created by a bunch of teenagers who were fooling around making videos for fun in the noughties, but on the other, that's just the world we live in now.

Perhaps the strangest thing about my experience with it nowadays is the way people engage with it on a day-to-day basis. The comments vary from young people discovering its origins for the first time, surprised to discover that it is in fact a 14 year old video and not a recent creation filmed for Vine or TikTok. At the other end of the spectrum are those who are incredulous that someone with a video that has 9.2 million views and an account that’s amassed over 15,000 followers without really trying would step away from the platform and not want to make content.

The truth is that, nearly a decade and a half later, I’m still processing it. I love seeing how it’s been re-interpreted in modern mediums and that positive association has made it easier to accept. Charles Cornell turned it into a sad song. It got sampled in a KIll The Noise track. I had a nice interaction with The Sidemen about it. Will Smith even featured it in an insane Instagram post during the pandemic. I DM’d him to say thanks and he obviously didn’t reply.

To that end, a small group of us have recently started work on a film project exploring the nature of the meme, how it grew, its impact on my life and my relationship with the internet at large. In doing so, the hope is that, while answering some of the burning questions that other people still seem to have, I’ll ultimately be able to make peace with the whole thing.

@Twotafkap

My Life as a Meme: ‘I Can’t Believe You’ve Done This’ Revisited syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

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foreignquarry · 4 years ago

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VOICE OVERS

DISCLAIMER:

unfortunately, due to storage limitations and glitches with my computer during the editing process, I lost a lot of the drafts and practice cuts that featured some experimentation. I’ll try to instead describe the different things I tried.

-- voice over --

third person narration -----

the sections of the film that involve third person narrative prose describing scenes at odds with what the viewer sees. initially, i used my own voice for this, in a sort of rough cut just to help with pacing. using this rough cut made me think that using my voice was not the right way forward, just because i wasnt personally happy with the performance i managed.

last year, i did a lot of experimentation with my voice and vocal performance. i developed different techniques to explore the unhuman aspects of communication, especially through a lens of technology. i used a piece of software called Lyrebird to generate a synthetic vocal avatar - an artificial intelligence trained to mimic my own voice. at the time, i used this to distance my physical self and parody my inability to express myself.

SADLY, this software was bought out by some company and is no longer accessible as it was, and no longer for free. it’s hidden behind the facade of this other, new software that im not familiar with and dont care to learn. there are other methods of vocal avatar generation that i may investigate, but this ruled out this option at this stage.

instead, i tried to use some generic text-to-speech programs to generate synthetic voices. i hoped that this would help add to the eeriness of the film, and the feeling of it being abandoned and devoid of humanity. i used a white-sounding male-sounding British-accented posh-sounding voice, to parody this sort of David Attenborough nature/museum documentary. of course, this sort of voice being a voice of God in film, through tradition, speaks to bigotries and patriarchal authoritarianism. like, we need white men to tell us what the things we are seeing are. this was something i was back-of-the-mind-conscious of at the time, but hadn’t fully questioned it. although it’s maybe a conceptually sound idea, it didn’t at all sound good, or right. with this automated voice in particular, the film was lacking a human quality, i felt. there are no humans visually present in the film, and there is a stark absence of humanity in the way the stories are reanimated from the stone. my human arm has been digitally removed, and the traces are all that remain.

the next thing i tried was a more intentional and intimate style of performance, modelled after the recent trend of ASMR videos.

Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR), sometimes auto sensory meridian response,[2][3][4] is a tingling sensation that typically begins on the scalp and moves down the back of the neck and upper spine. A pleasant form of paresthesia,[5] it has been compared with auditory-tactile synesthesia[6][7] and may overlap with frisson.

ASMR signifies the subjective experience of "low-grade euphoria" characterized by "a combination of positive feelings and a distinct static-like tingling sensation on the skin". It is most commonly triggered by specific auditory or visual stimuli, and less commonly by intentional attention control.[1][8] A genre of videos which intend to stimulate ASMR has emerged, of which over 13 million are published on YouTube.[9]

I’m interested in this form of vocal performance in the way it attempts to target and illicit a specific physical reaction. Ed Atkins has spoken about the way technology develops, seeks to conquer various physical senses, ie, IMAX cameras making screens too large for one person’s eyesight, or sound systems rattling bones. ASMR attempts to create euphoric physical feelings, comparable to orgasm. as such, there is a sort of unspoken sexual quality to a lot of these videos and to a lot of these vocal stylings. often, and indeed usually, the speakers or performers in these videos are attractive women.

in this episode of the podcast Reasonably Sound, Mike Rugnetta makes the comparison between this sort of work, and the sexist history of the female voice assistant, in early telecoms and switchboard operators, up to the present, female Siri or Google Home. there are, maybe unsuitable or offensive, connections to be made between this sort of outsourced female labour, the sexual qualities of ASMR, and sex work. but, i dont think it’s really my place to touch on it. there’s just some interesting dynamics around service and power in this form.

the episode can be found here:

http://reasonablysound.com/2014/10/02/whisper-quiet/

anyway, technically, this phenomena doesn’t really exist, scientifically. it does exist in the minds of people who watch this stuff. so, there’s a fun pseudo-science sort of thing here, that compels me too. like a sort of witchcraft to do with audio frequencies.

in this vocal performance, then, i tried to allow my voice to take on these ASMR qualities. i whispered the words into my microphone from a very close distance, to encourage uncomfortable mouth sounds, saliva pops, and microphone peaks. these sounds are ASMR triggers, but also betray the audio recording in a few ways. it’s uncomfortable for the viewer to hear mouth and body sounds so loudly. it reveals the work as an unprofessional one, working with what would be considered to be bad recording practices. it also brings qualities of a human body, and particularly gross qualities at that, to the film, lending it a subjective human presence.

i feel mixed about how this has worked overall. i think it totally creates the correct responses in a viewer, but there’s no denying that in being the Voice of God for this film, i am painting myself to be the God of this world. my narration, although at odds with what the viewer sees, speaks to my authorial power, and im not sure this is a power i want to be spoken about!! as a middle class, white man, i think i need to question more thoroughly what it means for me to give myself authority in this context...

this was something Dave Beech mentioned in our crits with him, recently.

this is all in my head as i continue to experiment with the narration and voice over in this film. i dont anticipate i will have brought this any further by the end of the project, but that’s ok. here is a video showing the current way my voice is sounding in this passages:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzgbVBFhvRc

first person stories ---

now, this is also complicated.

at the beginning of the project it felt very important to me that the stories would only appear visually, as text, and not as audio. in the writing i have gone to lengths to recreate, phonetically and visually, regional accents and period grammar. understanding my limited ability as a voice performer, i felt it would be gross and inappropriate for me to perform these texts myself. that it would be sort of equivalent to cultural appropriation, especially as im not actually from the South West (unless u go some ways back down the tree).

however, this being said, i ended up opting for a sort of version of a performance. i experimented with different styles of delivery, attempting accents and different styles of voice. i also experimented with isolating select frequencies. the OM frequency of the tuning fork is the one i chose to isolate, producing a distant-sounding voice that is hard to identify as mine:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hQDgEWFRIM&t=41s

for a necessarily female voice, however, this proved to be tricky. immediately in the crit, it seemed people could identify the recording as a poor attempt at an impression on my part, even though i thought i had done quite well with my shakespearean old woman impression. i ended up taking this audio and distorting it even further. the vocal inflections and sentence patterns are still identifiable, and when watching the text it is easy to follow along with the sound, but it is so distorted and modified i dont feel it can be traced back to me anymore. the femininity and the quality of the accent and the age of the caracter are all identifiable as well, i feel. over the course of this video the clip becomes more distorted, as if the stone tape is losing its fidelity on playback:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2A6jY-C1UA

i find this absolutely successful, especially on the speakers with which i listen to it. although as i continue working i might go back on this idea.

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theliberaltony · 6 years ago

Link

via FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to FiveThirtyEight’s weekly politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.

sarahf (Sarah Frostenson, politics editor): We’re back with a snake draft of 2020 Democratic presidential contenders, but this time with a twist — we’re picking the … VICE PRESIDENT.

I know — we don’t know who the presidential nominee is yet. But let’s face it: Even if the primary field grows to 20-plus Democrats, only one can win the nomination. So we might as well talk about who would make a desirable running mate (if not commander-in-chief). And before you scoff, a candidate’s choice for VP can signal a lot about what he or she prioritizes or considers to be a campaign weakness.

Remember, we’re trying to pick someone who’d make a good second-in-command, although our picks tend to diminish in quality as the rounds wear on. The rules are as follows: Four rounds, so between the four of us, 16 potential 2020 Democratic veeps. Let’s determine the order. (I’m going to write our names on paper and recruit someone in the office to draw them out of a hat while Nate orders some Chinese takeout.)

natesilver (Nate Silver, editor in chief): I’m pretty excited about this, I gotta say.

(The VP draft, not just the Chinese food.)

geoffrey.skelley (Geoffrey Skelley, elections analyst): All about a well-balanced meal, or presidential ticket.

sarahf: The lineup:

Clare

Nate

Geoff

Sarah

natesilver: Pretty happy with the No. 2 pick here.

sarahf: I can’t believe I have to go twice in a row. I hate

drafts. Anyway, get us started, Clare!

clare.malone (Clare Malone, senior political writer): mmmmk

Cory Booker

natesilver: bad pick

sarahf: good pick

clare.malone: Here’s my reasoning:

I’m going to operate for a moment on the premise that the “electability” factor that Democratic primary voters say they are going for in 2020 is a stand-in for a centrist-type candidate, and probably a white person. Under those conditions, a white candidate would want to pick Booker for his identity and ability to appeal to black voters, which is a big part of the Democratic primary electorate. But Booker also appeals to the establishment wings of the party and has the sort of resume where you wouldn’t mind setting him up to run for president someday in the future, but with a West Wing office.

geoffrey.skelley: Booker would have been my first pick, too.

sarahf: Still think it’s a bad pick, Nate?

clare.malone: Yes, he does on principle, which I respect.

natesilver: There are two obvious picks, and Booker was maybe the third-best pick after those two obvious ones.

sarahf: Well, then. I don’t suppose I should delay the draft any longer.

You’re up, Nate!

clare.malone: I’m on tenterhooks, with bated breath, etc.

natesilver: I’m going with … Robert (“Beto”) O’Rourke.

clare.malone: bad pick

(I, too, have my principles.)

natesilver: No, it’s a great pick.

geoffrey.skelley: You guys are on a roll.

natesilver: Here’s why: 1) There’s about a 55 percent chance (per Betfair) that the nominee will not be a white dude. 2) If the nominee is not a white dude, the VP probably will be a white dude. 3) The other white dudes are too old (Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders) or would cost Democrats a Senate seat (Sherrod Brown). Hence, Beto.

sarahf: Hmm, I think Beto’s lack of resume disqualifies him (section IV in this article) as VP material, but not necessarily for a presidential run because in that case, charisma matters more than experience.

clare.malone: Nate is just coming at the likelihood of who will be at the top of the ticket differently than I am.

O’Rourke is the right pick if you’re doing Nate’s reasoning of a minority candidate being the nominee.

In that case, O’Rourke is popular, white and young, which would make for a good VP.

natesilver: See, I thought the lack of a resume would make him even more qualified to be VP since it’s a job where you don’t really do anything. He could go around the country eating ice cream and staying at weird motels and blogging about it.

sarahf: Maybe, but I’d argue that VPs have historically been a pretty overqualified bunch.

clare.malone: What do you think is his motel chain of choice?

natesilver: Lol, Beto doesn’t stay at chains, Clare!

clare.malone: You don’t think he’s racking up Holiday Inn Express points?

geoffrey.skelley: A corollary to the craft beer track is the local motel track.

clare.malone: (I love a Holiday Inn, by the way. Always my preference on the road. As is McDonald’s over Burger King.)

BRAND LOYALTY IS IMPORTANT AS AN AMERICAN

sarahf: OK, Geoff, take it away with pick No. 3.

geoffrey.skelley: I made up a little rubric for leading presidential contenders to get a rough calculation of who might best balance a ticket or meet some missing criteria for the major contenders. And this will shake things up, but I think Illinois Sen. Tammy Duckworth best hits the mark of the remaining options out there.

sarahf: Interesting pick.

Do tell us more.

natesilver: “Interesting” is a euphemism for “bad” where I come from.

geoffrey.skelley: She’s got one hell of a story.

She’s the first disabled congresswoman, having lost both of her legs while serving in Iraq as a helicopter pilot. And she is someone of mixed ethnicity from the Midwest.

Outside of Biden, I’m not really sure of the foreign policy credentials of any of the other Democratic presidential candidates. Booker is on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, but Duckworth’s military experience would be an asset.

clare.malone: I’m going to offend Foggy Bottom here and say that people don’t care about foreign policy all that much anymore.

geoffrey.skelley: I think Duckworth could be a presidential candidate someday if she doesn’t get involved in 2020.

natesilver: She was born in Thailand, to a U.S. citizen, so there would probably be debate about her eligibility, a la Ted Cruz.

And I did have her on my list, as I think she’s one of the more plausible nonpresidential contenders who could become VP.

But … like … the fact that she hasn’t expressed any interest in the presidency — doesn’t that also mean she might not want the vice presidency?

sarahf: Her military background is definitely a win for Democrats, but like Nate said, I’m not sure she wants so high-profile of a gig.

clare.malone: She also just had a baby, which might have something to do with not wanting to run right now.

sarahf: OK, I’m here with picks 4 and 5! And I think you all will agree I have some very good picks.

First of all, Vice President Julian Castro.

natesilver: Not bad.

One of my top 2 is still on the board, though.

sarahf: I’m a little surprised no one has claimed him, but my thought is that Castro already has the grooming as a former Cabinet secretary. And I think his message as a Latino American challenging Trump is powerful.

That said, I don’t think it’s powerful enough to win him the nomination. (I just don’t think he has enough name recognition.)

geoffrey.skelley: I wrote Castro’s theory of the case and agree there’s definitely an “I’m running for VP” vibe.

clare.malone: He seems sort of a dull penny in a race filled with shiny pennies.

natesilver: But sometimes that’s what candidates are going for. Tim Kaine is in the “dull penny” bucket. Mike Pence, too.

clare.malone: I agree he has experience and the resume, but there are lots of other people who might make a more interesting choice with similar resumes.

And this is true, Nate, but are we in that era?

geoffrey.skelley: Castro would probably be a decent choice for Biden, Sanders or Elizabeth Warren.

natesilver: Democrats could also talk themselves into thinking they need to double-down on the Hispanic vote.

Maybe Sanders or Warren, Geoffrey. Biden might need to pick someone who is more identifiably to his left?

geoffrey.skelley: Fair point regarding ideology — where Castro stands on a number of issues is a big unknown.

The Electoral College would also complicate — if not exclude — a Castro choice if O’Rourke were to become the nominee.1

sarahf: Guess that means no O’Rourke-Castro ticket in our future.

But OK, my next pick is Amy Klobuchar.

geoffrey.skelley: arrrrgh

Probably could’ve waited on Duckworth and taken Klobuchar, but the first pick is fun and splashy.

sarahf: Klobuchar’s Midwestern chops make her desirable electorally.

And with four women already among the major candidates, if a woman is not at the top of the ticket, she needs to be in the second spot.

natesilver: My suppositions are that 1) there will not be two women on the ticket; 2) there will not be two people of color on the ticket; and 3) there will not be two white men on the ticket.

But you could have a white man and a nonwhite man, e.g. Biden and Booker.

Or a white man and a white woman, e.g. Beto and Klobuchar.

sarahf: In which case, Nate’s first scenario could render my pick useless, but I’m not so sure a woman will win the top spot.

Also, at this stage Klobuchar is the highest-profile “moderate” to throw her hat in the ring, which could help someone like Kamala Harris or Sanders if they were to win the nomination, although I probably agree with Nate that two women on the ticket is not going to happen.

natesilver: Klobuchar definitely has the electability thing going for her, she’s not too old, and no big issues re: her qualifications.

sarahf: OK, remind me how snake drafts work … Geoff is up again?

geoffrey.skelley: This is kind of tough — I have a pick in mind, but I think she’s unlikely to take the No. 2 slot, so I’ll wait. So I’m going with Colorado Sen. Michael Bennet instead.

natesilver: ehhhhh

I guess he’s in the Kaine category of nonshiny white dude.

sarahf:

But TBF, there are several possible nominees that fall into this category.

geoffrey.skelley: If the nominee is a woman and/or a minority, he’s a sort of bland Kaine-esque pick that might be needed. He hails from a battleground state, is Western and went viral recently with his floor speech during the government shutdown. Who knows, he might even be eying an under-the-radar presidential bid.

clare.malone: dull penny

But I guess a dull penny is still legal tender.

natesilver: Is Colorado really a battleground state anymore? Probably not with Trump on the ballot.

clare.malone: My favorite part of that Bennet floor speech was how uncomfortable Alabama Sen. Doug Jones looked to be caught on camera sitting next to the rant.

geoffrey.skelley: I get the dull penny point, but it’s also worth remembering that the presidential nominee is NOT going to want someone who outshines them.

sarahf: Fair.

natesilver: Is it my pick now? One of my top two — the one who isn’t Beto — is still on the board.

sarahf: Well then, take ’em off, Nate. Who is it!?!?

natesilver: Kamala Harris

clare.malone: fuck

You stole my pick.

And it doesn’t even go with your theory!

Not fair.

It goes with MY theory.

geoffrey.skelley: Well, I was tempted to take her both times. But I don’t think she’ll take it unless it’s as Biden’s VP. She can camp out in that California Senate seat, which isn’t up again until 2022, and wait for another chance in 2024 or 2028.

natesilver: I mean — I said earlier there’s a 55 percent chance that the nominee isn’t a white dude. That means there’s a 45 percent chance that it will be a white dude.

clare.malone: Wait, is that how percentages work??

natesilver: Clare, the way percentages work is that if you say something has a 29 percent chance of happening, that actually means there is a 0 percent chance.

clare.malone: ahhhh

natesilver: Biden-Harris is a very natural pairing, especially since Biden will have to shore up support on his left.

Beto-Harris could also work. It’s a bit more of a Clinton-Gore dynamic.

The thing is, though, that we could also very easily wind up with an unnatural arrangement where a deal is brokered on the convention floor.

So I like Harris’s VP chances partly because I like her presidential chances to win, but also to be one of the runners-up if she doesn’t.

clare.malone: OK, I’m up.

Stacey Abrams.

natesilver: Hmm

clare.malone: Since Nate stole my pick for my theory of the case for this chat — that the top of the ticket will probably be white — I’m going with Abrams as a popular black candidate who’s a rising political star.

Although I know there’s buzz about her running for the Senate.

natesilver: “Hmm” isn’t passive-aggressive like “interesting.” I’m generally hmm-ing about whether I like the pick.

clare.malone: But Abrams would be a really interesting, bold move for whomever the nominee ends up being. And Abrams would get a huge boost in national profile.

sarahf: Plus, even though VPs don’t necessarily help the ticket carry their home state, it could be an interesting move for Democrats to pick someone who hails from the Deep South.

geoffrey.skelley: Beto-Abrams: Losing to Win.

natesilver: But are there going to be questions about her experience level? Especially since a black woman isn’t likely to get the benefit of the doubt?

clare.malone: Definitely a criticism that would be leveled.

Then again, maybe we are in the midst of busting up the experience paradigm in presidential politics.

natesilver: Last full round, then a lightning round?

We used to go six rounds back in my day.

But we can treat this as a semi-lightning round, a “thunder round,” if you will.

OK, Clare, we need another pick from you.

clare.malone: I know, Nate. I’m thinking.

geoffrey.skelley: Lot of boring white guys out there.

clare.malone: I’m going to switch my theory of the case midround and operate with the theory that a minority will be at the top of the ticket, so I’m going with the wunderkind of South Bend, Pete Buttigieg.

A lot of the top tier people are taken, but he’d be an interesting Midwestern pick … despite his experience problem, obviously.

geoffrey.skelley: For what it’s worth, Abrams has more experience than Buttigieg — she served in the Georgia House of Representatives for about 10 years and was that body’s minority leader more than half that time. Buttigieg has been mayor of South Bend, Indiana, for seven years.

clare.malone: Well, she’s been picked and the pickings are slim!

sarahf: Potential VPs like Buttigieg, Abrams and Beto are all challenging my notion of the kind of experience a VP should have as an elder statesman or stateswoman.

clare.malone: Brown is someone you’d WANT to pick here, but the possibility of losing the Senate seat is obviously a big problem.

natesilver: So … uhhh … do we think a presidential candidate is going to feel safe picking a gay/lesbian/bi VP candidate?

The country is progressive, but it isn’t that progressive.

This is also relevant to Tammy Baldwin and Kyrsten Sinema, both of whom would also be interesting choices.

clare.malone: Yeah, Tammy Baldwin is maybe a better choice, actually.

And yes, Nate, that’s an open question for sure.

natesilver: OK, my pick?

sarahf: Yup.

natesilver: I am going with …. Pennsylvania Sen. Robert “Bob” Casey Jr.

sarahf: Deep cut.

natesilver: From a crucial swing state, but a Democratic governor would pick his replacement.

He also seemed to at least flirt with the idea of running for president, so he’d probably be interested.

geoffrey.skelley: Abortion politics make him a problematic pick, although the geography makes perfect sense.

And Tim Kaine’s personal pro-life position didn’t foul up Hillary Clinton, so maybe Casey would work for someone like Harris, too.

natesilver: I do agree the abortion thing could be an issue, although his record has shifted to the left over the years.

And he’d be the choice of a candidate who wanted to pivot to the center — someone like Warren. The Harris-Casey fit seems weird, but in theory that could work, too.

Booker-Casey is also not crazy.

geoffrey.skelley: All right. I’ve got some swing state women in mind — I’m going with Sen. Catherine Cortez Masto of Nevada.

natesilver: Very deep cut.

geoffrey.skelley: Latina from a battleground state with a Democratic governor who could appoint her replacement.

natesilver: Yeah, it all makes sense.

geoffrey.skelley: Not a well-known name, but again whoever is at the top of the ticket may not want a high-profile pick. Instead, he or she may be looking for balance.

natesilver: O’Rourke-Cortez Masto really rolls off the tongue

sarahf: OK, I’m up. One “thunder pick” and then a “lightning pick” to take us home.

My thunder pick is: Sherrod Brown despite reservations about picking him earlier.

natesilver: Pretty good for the Thunder round.

Sorry, thunder.

(Reading too much NBA stuff so was thinking about the Oklahoma City Thunder.)

sarahf: He has the policy chops and geographical pull a ticket might need — Senate seat be damned.

geoffrey.skelley: He would make a lot of sense for many candidates.

natesilver: Brown has a real crossover appeal between the left and the “beer track” that makes him very interesting.

But it would help if Ohio weren’t soooo far gone as a swing state, or seemingly so.

Like, I think he’d put Ohio “in play” but not necessarily make the Democrat the favorite there in a 50-50 national race.

sarahf:

LIGHTNING ROUND

Gavin Fucking Newsom

natesilver:

geoffrey.skelley: Say wut.

sarahf: Look, he’s got the ambition: two-term mayor of San Francisco before a quick stint as California’s lieutenant governor. And now he’s the governor of California! Depending on the tone Democrats want to strike in opposing Trump, he could be a formidable foe.

That said, I freely admit he’s a wild card. And a bit of a trollish pick from me.

clare.malone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I have to say something here.

The recent New Yorker profile of him was fucking amazing

sarahf: It was, Clare. And may have inspired my choice.

clare.malone: I have very rarely seen the bald insecurities of a politician so perfectly laid out.

sarahf: But enough of my nonsense. You’re up, Geoff.

geoffrey.skelley: Sticking with Tammys, I’ll take Sen. Baldwin of Wisconsin.

sarahf: Nice. She’d made my list before I went renegade.

geoffrey.skelley: She said she isn’t interested in running for president, but maybe the VP slot? She would be a battleground senator from the Midwest, and as one of the most liberal senators, she’d be a friendly pick on the left of the party.

sarahf: Democrats are going to need that Midwestern cred.

natesilver: Clare claims she can predict my pick.

clare.malone: I think I know…

natesilver: It’s a pretty boring pick.

Kirsten Gillibrand.

clare.malone: booo

Not who I thought.

natesilver: Gillibrand’s just … I mean, out of the various presidential contenders who aren’t too old, she was the one left standing.

geoffrey.skelley: And she’d take it, too, I suspect. Unlike some of the others.

natesilver: Which is a bit damning with faint praise. But she’s theoretically got appeal to different parts of the Democratic base. She’ll probably raise a lot of money.

clare.malone: That’s a BIG thing, I think.

Very useful to have that fundraising know-how around.

natesilver: She has to perform reasonably well in the primaries. Have a “surge” at some point, even if she doesn’t win any states. If she totally flames out, I don’t think it works.

clare.malone: OK, I’m going to pick who I thought Nate was going to pick because I just want to.

natesilver: Haha, OK. I’m wondering if you’re going to pick who I thought you’d think I’d pick.

clare.malone: …

Doug Jones.

Nate used to LOVE talking about Doug Jones as a presidential nominee.

And Jones is a moderate, up for a tough re-elect in 2020.

Why the heck not!

geoffrey.skelley: It’s going to be hard for him to hold on as a red state Democratic senator, so why not?

natesilver: Haha, I thought you’d pick Dougie J.

He’s a classic Nate last-round pick.

clare.malone: Yes, he is.

natesilver: And I was probably going to take him if Gillibrand weren’t still on the board.

clare.malone: In that case, I feel somewhat vindicated.

sarahf: A final look at our VP-2020 teams. Tweet at us whose lineup you like best:

2020 Democratic vice presidential draft

February 2019

Round Clare Nate Geoff Sarah 1 Cory Booker Beto O’Rourke Tammy Duckworth Julian Castro 2 Stacey Abrams Kamala Harris Michael Bennet Amy Klobuchar 3 Pete Buttigieg Bob Casey Jr. Catherine Cortez Masto Sherrod Brown 4 Doug Jones Kirsten Gillibrand Tammy Baldwin Gavin Newsom

#IFTTT #FiveThirtyEight #politics #538 #A FiveThirtyEight Chat

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daniellethamasa · 6 years ago

Text

Hey all, Dani here.

So you might be asking, “hey Dani, wasn’t Gen Con at the beginning of the month? Why do a wrap up now?” Well, I had one of my blog buddies say she would love to read about my time at Gen Con, especially as she wants to start trying to diversify her conventions, but she also wanted more information first.

Plus, when you get a little removed from an event (or a book/movie/etc), it is easier to distance yourself from any super happy or super upset feelings you might have had at the time, and you can write a more factual and balanced review of everything. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Gen Con is a gaming convention, and it features hundreds of game developers and companies, as well as business that sell game accessories. Now when I say gaming convention, the easy assumption is that I am talking about video games, but I don’t think I have seen any sort of video or console type game there. No, this is a gaming convention for tabletop gaming, which means board games, card games, dice games, and tabletop RPGs like Dungeons & Dragons.

This year was the 51st Gen Con and it was even bigger than the previous year. The photos don’t even come close to showing how large or crowded this convention is, because there are just so many wonderful geeks in the world, and events like this really help you to see how not alone in the world you are. It is currently held in Indianapolis, Indiana, and it is an amazing experience. The convention itself takes up the entire Indiana Convention Center, plus they have also spread out into several of the nearby hotels, and Lucas Oil Stadium (which is the arena where the local NFL team, the Indianapolis Colts, are based). What I love about having part of Gen Con in the football stadium is that they house the gaming library there, and if you have purchased a pass to use the library, then you can go there 24 hours a day through the four day convention and borrow a game to play. Yes, a bunch of lovely geeks swarm through this holy house of jock-dom for four whole days.

We actually went to Indianapolis a day early, on August 1st, so we wouldn’t have to wake up at 5am the next day to make the three hour drive. It ended up being the best decision we could have made. We were able to pick up all of our tickets that day, and also just relax a bit. Okay, so we also went to an Irish pub (O’Reilly’s Irish Pub) for my birthday, which then turned into the Irish pub and then a Scottish pub (MacNiven’s). So I had a Shepard’s Pie, and then we had bread pudding for dessert. At the Scottish pub we had Scotch Eggs. Then we went to a comic book store (Downtown Comics) too, so naturally I picked up a few things.

And that’s just all the fun from the day before the convention. Now let’s get to the actual first day of Gen Con. It was a mad house, and we went straight for the Critical Role booth, because there was some cool merchandise that we were hoping to get, and we waited for a good half-hour or so to actually make it to the booth. But I ended up with dice and shirts and even a map for the current campaign, so I am super pleased.

I’m not going to lie guys…we spent most of our money on day one. There are just so many cool games and accessories and costume pieces. It is a geek wonderland. The first day of the convention was also a cool day because we got to meet Joe Mangianello. Now most people will probably recognize Joe from being in the show True Blood, or possibly from the Magic Mike movies. What you may not know is that he is a massive geek, loves D&D, and actually has a really cool gaming dungeon in his home. We waited for almost an hour to meet him, but it was totally worth the wait…and I got him to sign my Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition Player’s Handbook, so that is also pretty awesome. Oh, and the game pictured below is A Song of Ice and Fire, and it is sort of a battlefield strategy game based on Game of Thrones. We watched it being playtested and it seemed pretty interesting. Of course neither my fiance nor our other buddy who went with us has seen the show (or read the books) so it was just a cool looking game to them.

Day two of the convention we spent a lot of time just running around and checking out some of the games. At most of the game developer booths, you can sit down and play the game before you buy it. Okay well if it is a shorter game you can play through the whole game, but longer games they pretty much prefer you to just play a few rounds to get an idea of how the game works. There are a lot of other people around who would also like to try playing the games. The highlight for day two of the convention for us was actually that evening after the convention center closed. We met up with the owners of our hometown game store and they actually bought us dinner at this bar (The Yard House). My fiance and I run a couple D&D campaigns for them and they wanted to thank us for everything we’ve done for the store. Free food is definitely the way to do that. But after that, we had tickets to go see Critical Role live. It was my second time going, but my fiance’s first, and I was so glad I got to share the experience with him. Oh, and there was a surprise guest star for the episode of Critical Role…Khary Payton, an actor some people may recognize from the Walking Dead.

We had an extremely lazy day for day three of the convention. Critical Role Live ended around 1 am, and then we had to walk back to the parking garage where our car was parked (only to discover that the parking garage had closed for the night, so we had to run around to figure out who to contact to get to our car). By the time we made it back to the hotel we were staying at, it was around 2:30 am. Because we were also low on spending money, we just decided to hang out at the hotel, enjoy the pool, watch some TV, and play some of the games we had purchased. The only convention event we had on our schedule for the day was going to Dungeon Master, which is a live interactive show. It ended up being a very entertaining show, but the real reason I got tickets for this particular show was that it was being opened with a concert by The Library Bards, and they are a geek parody band who makes covers of Top 40 hits by making them into geeky songs–for example “Zombie” by the Cranberries becomes a song about Deadpool and Harley Quinn cosplayers called “Black and Red”, and Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off” becomes a LOTR/Hobbit song called “Gandalf.”

Finally, we made it to day four, the last day of the convention. We played a couple more games, and made a couple more purchases with the little spending money we had left. I will be completely honest everyone. I hate the last day of a convention. The last day means that I have to go home and return to my regular day-to-day schedule. It means leaving a place where I am surrounded by thousands of people who like a lot of the same stuff I do, and going back to a place where only a small percentage of people actually understand me. Leaving a convention after having such a great time is always difficult. But on our way back to our car before the three hour drive back home, I decided that we needed to get something to eat, and after walking past this pizza shop over a dozen times, we finally stopped into Giordano’s to get some Chicago Style Deep Dish pizzas.

I guess I should talk about this last picture. There are a lot of booths at Gen Con that give out these little ribbons that you can attach to your convention badge. For many attendees at the convention it becomes a scavenger hunt to collect as many as possible. I have seen people with enough ribbons hanging from their badge to make a long scarf or sash. It is impressive. We only went to Gen Con for one day in 2017, so I think we got one or two ribbons. Obviously this year I did much better, but I’m still hoping for a more impressive collection next year.

Next year I also plan to attend a few panels and/or workshops, because we didn’t really do that this year. There is a whole section of the convention that is a Writer’s Showcase, and they have some great industry professionals there to hold classes on worldbuilding or magic or editing, etc. The guests of honor this year were the duo behind S.A. Corey, author of The Expanse series. Previous years have had Patrick Rothfuss in attendance. Margaret Weis was there this year as well. So next year I definitely want to spend a little more time in the bookish side of Gen Con–though I did walk through that entire area on the show floor, and I will show off everything I purchased in my August Wrap-Up post.

Wow, okay, this post got pretty long. I hope you all enjoyed this look into our time at Gen Con. If you want me to talk more specifically on the games that we playtested and/or purchased, let me know. Because we found quite a few really fun games, and I like talking about more than just books. I’m your average geeky girl, with many geek hobbies.

Anyway, that’s all for today, and I will be back soon with more bookish content.

Gen Con Wrap Up Hey all, Dani here. So you might be asking, "hey Dani, wasn't Gen Con at the beginning of the month?

#Books!#Conventions #Critical Role #Dungeons & Dragons #Gen Con #Pathfinder #Review

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loisinherlane · 8 years ago

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Title: Domino (Revised Chapter 1v1 (aka Season 1 Episode 1)

Summary: The war ended. The witches were vanquished. Domino had fallen. Though only sixteen years had passed, the Magical Dimension had done its best to forget its failures and move forward. But just as the dust seemed to settle, a new trio of witches seeks the same power their elders were denied. Without the royal family of Domino, no one knows where the Dragon Flame they use came from--but the strange girl from Earth may have answers.

Notes: Am I entirely finished with this chapter? No. Am I going to post any other chapters soon? No. But I wanted to get this out there. This is a revision of a fic near and dear to my heart. Unfortunately for readers on its original site of posting, I will not be continuing there. This first version of chapter 1 is a tumblr-exclusive, and once I finished editing, I’ll also post this on AO3. But for now, let me explain a little more.

Some of you around my age may remember a show called Wi .nx Club (censored to prevent tagging). This was my favorite show for a long time. However, as I’ve grown older, I’ve noticed more and more problems with the show, and as much as I loved my fic idea (based off of my dad’s complaint about Bloom’s abandoning her parents in the first episode), I had too many other ideas to contain. So, here this is: a large rewrite that completely overhauls the first season, changes a few characters significantly (basically this is less girl hate and more LGBT friendliness along with a few more adult themes ((but not too many because I’m too ace for that)) ), and is basically a big venture on my part. If you could, please, please talk to me about this. This story means so much to me. But I won’t make this note longer than necessary. Here we go.

Though all contact with Earth had abruptly ended after the disappearance of the Earthen fairies--a disappearance sadly preceded by their retreat into a small, glamoured area where they erased all evidence of their existence from the world and the memories of Earth’s other inhabitants--Earth was still regarded as a somewhat forbidden tourist attraction. With rich foliage to rival Lynphea, a strange sea life only comparable to Andros, and a resiliently adaptive variety of cultures, the World Without Magic was a fascinating getaway for many, so long as they could afford the hefty fine if caught or evade capture. Visiting Earth was a chance best taken when the opportunity presented itself.

For this reason, Crown Princess Stella de Soleil-Lune of Solaria saw absolutely no problem in stopping mid-transport to Alfea (for her second first year) on Earth. She didn’t have to be there for a few hours, and so long as she didn’t arrive more than half an hour late, it wouldn’t really matter. Her parents hadn’t bothered to wish her off this year, so no one knew exactly when she left, and it wasn’t out of the line for her to run late. It was the perfect plan.

Landing in the middle of a town called Gardenia, Stella intended to spend her detour examining how Earth’s shopping fared. Of course, landing in a forest-y clearing only to be greeted by an ogre derailed those plans.

Episode 1

The Earthen Fairy

There was no one but Bloom home in the Peters household during the summer. California summers brought on all sorts of fires, and Mike was always busy with the fire department, aiding anyone who needed help. Summer was also the time the flower shop flourished, so Vanessa rarely had time off. Occasionally, Bloom stepped in to help, but mostly she spent her time at home or out with Selina and Andy. Each morning, Bloom would rise at 8:30, just in time to tell her parents goodbye before they left work, and then she would find something to do, or fall back asleep.

“There's our little blossom. Always a late bloomer,” Mike teased as he finished up the last drops of his coffee. Bloom half-heartedly glared at her father before taking her seat at the kitchen table and stretching out, setting her feet on her father’s lap.

Vanessa was scanning her phone to check on flower orders, and she sighed loudly. “Look at this. This man wants to send flowers to his boyfriend, but his boyfriend is allergic to certain flowers. And all he says is, ‘Don't use the flowers he's allergic to.’” She sighed and set the phone down on the kitchen table, her nails lightly clicking against the screen as she closed out her calendar.

Bloom smiled sympathetically and patted her mom’s arm. Vanessa returned the look as she squeezed Bloom’s hand. Mike, refusing to be left out, joined in, his paler hand stark against their tanned skin.

“So you're both getting off at five today?” Bloom asked her parents, finally waking up enough to grab a piece of toast. She took a knife setting on one of the empty plates and carefully spread butter across the surface, smoothing it evenly.

Mike nodded, stretching his arms over his head and grunting with the effort, though it seemed to be more a huff at the day itself. He stood up slowly and began to gather his things for work, which wasn't much, as he tended to keep everything at the fire station. Vanessa hesitated.

“I think I may have quite a few orders today,” she sighed. “I'm not sure.”

Bloom perked up a little at the idea that she might have something to do. “Do you need help?” she asked eagerly.

Vanessa tried not to hide her worried look as she pushed her dark hair behind her ear. “No. No, don't worry about it, dear. We’ll handle it.”

“Oh, Mom, come on. I only broke one vase!” Bloom whined.

“One four hundred dollar vase,” Vanessa countered, straightening her overalls and checking her reflection in the window once more. Bloom flushed a little red, though the effect wasn't much with the fieriness of her hair. She rolled her dark blue eyes and crossed her arms.

Mike straightened up from where he’d been adjusting his boots. He smiled at the two ladies as he grabbed his keys. “Alright, ladies. I'll see you tonight. Good luck at the shop, Vanessa,” he said softly, leaning in for a kiss. Bloom averted her eyes and made a face. Mike laughed as he pecked his daughter’s forehead. “Are you going out with Andy and Selina today?”

Bloom frowned at the mention of her friends and shook her head, slumping back into the wooden chair. “No. Andy has his family reunion, and Selina’s at this… fantasy convention thing.”

“Ah. Well, don't sleep all day then,” he teased, finally moving towards the door. Vanessa kissed her daughter goodbye as well, and then Bloom was left alone.

On a day like that, there wasn't much for Bloom to do. Unwilling to do nothing and being entirely awake, she grabbed a baseball tee and a pair of jeans, getting dressed and ready to go. Bloom’s brand new(-ish) bike was dug out from the back of the garage, where she shakily mounted it and rode off to the park. She never went any further than that, as she didn’t trust her bike-riding skills to take her any farther. Both Andy and Selina were busy, so she was alone with Kiko, dropping her bike against a tree as she bought an ice cream. The park was fairly bare, for a summer day, but it was hot. Most people were probably reveling in their air conditioning.

“What a boring day, Kiko,” Bloom lamented, setting the bunny in her lap. He was kind of an odd rabbit, fur a little bluish in tint, and he never ran off, no matter where Bloom took him. She’d found him one day in the backyard. When she opened the door to go inside, he’d dashed in front of her. Her parents had been a little hesitant with Kiko at first, never wanting him outside of his cage, but it soon became apparent that as long as he had his litter box, there would be no messes. The Peters decided not to question their luck, and Bloom kept her strange little friend. “I just wish something interesting would happen for once.”

Kiko just gave her a funny look. After a moment, his ears perked up, and he darted off into the woodsy section of the park. Bloom shot up, alarmed.

“Kiko!” she yelled, abandoning her bike and running after him.

Following the pitter-patter of little bunny feet was difficult. Luckily, Kiko seemed intent that Bloom follow him. Pausing every once in awhile so she could catch up, Kiko led her to another clearing, too deep in the trees to be visible from civilized areas.

“Kiko, what are you--” Bloom froze. They hadn’t quite exited the shaded shelter of the trees, but the clearing was brightly lit by the sun, and the two figures before her were, well--

“What the hell do you want?”

The girl looked like something out of an RPG, glittering orange shorts and top that almost looked like lingerie, the translucent skirt of her--was it a dress?--almost like sunshine, like the rays visible in the air on a sunny day. Three small wings protruded from her back, and Bloom vacantly wondered if her was pulled into pigtails to keep them from tangling. She swung what looked like a scepter haphazardly.

The . . . thing she was fighting was hardly fazed by her efforts. A smile spread across his muddy yellow face.

“What a weak fairy. You don’t even use your powers,” he said slowly. Bloom couldn’t decide if it was an unfamiliarity with the language or an affectation, but it certainly fit the role he was playing. He did seem to have an odd accent. She couldn’t quite place it.

Bloom looked down to Kiko. “Fairy? They must be roleplaying or something,” she shrugged, prepared to return home. Kiko darted around her feet, preventing her from moving. “Kiko!”

The girl in the clearing was knocked back, but instead of landing, her wings fluttered. She hovered a few feet above the monster and stuck out her tongue. “You can’t get me from up here!”

His lips curled, and small red . . . gremlins darted out, jumping towards her. The girl screeched.

“I am Stella de Soleil-Lune, crown princess of the reunited Solaria! If you harm me, my parents will show no mercy!”

Bloom hesitated, looking at Kiko. He stared at her expectantly. She looked back at the girl and her terrified face.

“But what do I do?” she murmured. After another moment’s trepidation, she grabbed a stick, ran forward, and smacked the monster from behind. “Leave her alone!”

The monster spun around a little, more out of surprise than pain. Both he and the girl stared, and for a second, Bloom’s heart stopped. Oh, no. Had she interrupted some sort of game after all?

Then the girl took the moment to act, the gremlins having stopped without any orders. A bright light shot from her fingers and destroyed the gremlins.

The monster growled menacingly at Bloom. “You little--” He tried to grab her wrist, but the moment he touched her skin, Bloom cowered, and a warm pulse rushed through her. The monster was knocked away.

The girl’s brows shot up. “Hey, you’re a--”

The monster huffed and turned away, grumbling, “I don’t have time to deal with you. She’s the one I want.”

“But you can’t have me!” The girl raised her scepter high, closing her eyes. “As crown princess of Solaria, fairy of the sun, moon, and stars, I call on the power of the heavens to banish the one who threatens me!”

Bright light flooded the area, and yet it didn’t seem to blind Bloom. When the light died down, only the girl--Stella, she remembered--and Bloom remained.

Stella smiled brightly in a sort of way that made even Bloom a little flustered. “I’m so glad you’re here! I thought--” Suddenly, she wavered, her expression faltering into something weak. She blinked a couple times, then collapsed, her attire disappearing in a shimmer of sunlight, leaving the girl in odd, yet regal, attire. Exchanging a quick look with Kiko, Bloom knelt down beside her, hesitantly placing a hand on the girl’s clammy forehead.

“Shit.”

What was she to do with an unconscious girl in the middle of the park? Bloom was only a few inches over five feet, and Stella seemed to be fairly tall. No matter how skinny she was, Bloom was sure she couldn’t carry the girl home, or even out of the forest to the rest of the park. Aside from that dilemma, she wasn’t sure she wanted anyone to see Stella. Whatever had just occurred wasn’t normal, and there were only four people on Earth she would trust with that. Her parents being at work, she elected to beg Andy to duck out of his family reunion. He, at least, could carry Stella. Not that he was particularly pleased with the situation, but he’d never been able to say no to Bloom.

(“Why didn’t you call your dad? Or an ambulance?” he asked with a sort of fond exasperation as he set Stella on the couch in Bloom’s living room. She pulled the soft blanket from the basket and carefully draped it over the stranger.

“Dad’s at work, and an ambulance--”

“Yeah. Alright,” he said, brushing it aside as he left. Suddenly, Bloom no longer felt like telling him about her adventure.)

When her parents returned, there wasn’t much she could do to explain the sight of an unconscious, unfamiliar girl.

“We need to take her to the hospital,” Mike insisted.

“Dad, we don’t even know who she is. What if they do something to her?” Bloom fretted.

Vanessa knelt down by Stella, looking her over briefly. “Honey, we don’t even have first aid training. What are we supposed to do? She’s clearly… ill,” she said, stroking Stella’s hair lightly. Stella stirred, eyes flickering open. The Peters stared intently, ready to see what she said as she awoke.

“If the sun’s not out, it’s not time to get up.”

Mike made sort of a frustrated look, and Vanessa sighed.

“Young lady, you’ve slept past sunset. I think it’s time to get up,” she prodded.

Very slowly, as if in protest, Stella opened her eyes and sat up. Abruptly, she slammed her hands on the cushion of the couch and scanned the room until she caught sight of Bloom. “You! Thank the moon and stars, someone I can trust. I need to borrow your phone.”

Bloom hesitantly glanced to her parents, who didn’t know what to tell her. Fingers trembling, she pulled her sky blue phone out of her pocket and handed it to Stella. The girl frowned in confusion. “Oh, did I forget to unlock it?” Bloom asked, reaching to take the phone back.

Stella didn’t seem to hear her. “What planet are you from?” she asked slowly.

Bloom raised a brow. “Earth?”

Stella stared at Bloom suspiciously before she understood that Bloom was being completely honest. A look of wonder spread across her face, and she bounced eagerly.

“I found a real life Earth fairy? That’s-- That’s crazy! We thought you were dead! Have you been in hiding all this time?”

A fairy. Stella had said that before, but… Surely Bloom wasn't really a fairy. That was crazy. Magic wasn't real. And yet she had no explanation for what was going on.

Question after question came flying, but they only served to heighten the confusion of her hosts. Mike and Vanessa turned to look at their daughter again.

“I have no idea what she’s talking about,” Bloom insisted. “I told you. I was in the park when I saw her fighting this . . . thing.”

“An ogre,” Stella interjected. “He’s been attacking a lot of princesses lately. My parents didn’t want me to travel alone to school, but . . .” She hesitated, like she didn’t want to get into that.

Mike sighed, running a hand through his graying blond hair. “About half of that made sense. Look, why don’t you call your parents, and we’ll see if we can figure this out.”

Stella crossed her arms over chest. “Well, I would if your phone had intergalactic coverage. Earth is so woefully behind. Oh, but I’m sure with an Earth fairy being properly trained at Alfea, everything will be better.”

“What’s Alfea?” Vanessa asked.

Stella stared blankly. “You . . . don’t know what Alfea is?” When she realized the name had no recognition in any of the three, she sighed. “Alfea College for Young Fairies. It’s a training school. And the best one in the Magical Dimension. Magix City is home to all three of the best schools. Alfea, for fairies,” she reminded, “Red Fountain, for Specialists, and Cloud Tower, for witches.” Her lips snarled at that last bit.

Mike shook his head and looked at Bloom. “This girl must be suffering from heatstroke. I’m going to call a doctor.”

Stella pouted, her wide brown eyes flashing indignantly. As soon as Mike grabbed his phone, it flashed into a carrot. He froze as the carrot slipped from his fingers, and Kiko hopped over to investigate, mouth open and teeth bared to take a nibble. Stella smiled sheepishly and pointed her finger to lift the carrot into the air.

“Sorry. I’m not really good at controlling that yet,” she explained.

Bloom stare in awe. Half-convinced that the scene at the park had been some crazy hallucination, she wasn’t sure what to make of this. “You-- You’re really a--”

Mike and Vanessa exchanged a solemn look while Stella brightened.

“Stella de Soleil-Lune, fairy of the sun, moon, and stars, crown princess of the reunited Solaria,” she said delicately.

Bloom smiled shyly. “Um. Bloom Peters.”

“Fairy of . . . something!” Stella supplied. “I don’t know what you did, but that ogre couldn’t touch you. It was amazing. And you weren’t even in fairy form! I had to rely on this.” She paused sadly, a little disappointed in her abilities, spinning her ring around her finger.

Bloom hesitated. “You did finish him off.”

“I sent him about ten kilometers away. But thanks,” she replied.

The room fell silent, and Bloom looked back at her parents. They only stared at her, then looked to Stella.

“What’s fairy form?” Bloom asked after a moment.

Stella furrowed her brow. “You haven’t transformed yet? Most fairies can by thirteen. I was an early bloomer. I did it by twelve,” she said proudly.

Bloom shook her head. Stella sighed and tossed the blanket off her legs, riding to her feet. She held two fingers up on each hand and crossed her arms over her chest. In a flash of light, the form Bloom had seen earlier, pigtails and all, reappeared. Mike and Vanessa gaped.

“So,” Stella said, “let’s see you try.”

Bloom didn’t know where to begin.

Stella was clearly unaware of how to teach someone something that was so integral to her.

“Okay. Well. Um. Hold up your fingers like this,” she instructed, showing Bloom how her index and middle fingers were together while the others were folded on both hands. Bloom copied the position. “Okay. Then, to, um-- Well, this creates sort of a . . . channel of magical power. You want to make a burst of energy that will allow you to transform. By crossing your hands over each other, the energy from both sides meets, and--”

Bloom nodded and did as she remembered Stella doing. Nothing happened.

“No! Okay, yes, I mean. That’s what I do. But you have to find your own technique,” she explained. “A lot of fairy families have techniques specific to them, but I mean, even then, you really just have to find what works for you. And sometimes it depends on powers. Certain focuses need to be charged in different ways. I don’t really need any of that, but I just think it’s easier to have the energy close during transformation--”

Vanessa interrupted. “Is this something you should be doing inside the house?”

Stella started, as if she’d forgotten they were there. “It’s harmless. Really. And Bloom needs to know how to transform if she’s going to go to Alfea with me.”

“Alfea,” Bloom repeated, intrigued by the idea. Mike shook his head.

“My daughter is not going anywhere, especially not some school we’ve never even heard of.”

With a dainty huff, Stella lifted her shoulders. “I just told you! It’s the best place Bloom can go to train herself. She’s a fairy! She needs it.”

Bloom slowly lowered her arms. Looking back at her parents, she hesitated. “Um. When does school start? Maybe I can consider it,” she tried to mediate.

“Um, problem,” Stella pointed out gently. “I’m on my way to school. And I’m really kind of late. My parents are going to kill me. School starts in like three days. I’m supposed to be moving in now. But I’m sure Ms. Faragonda will turn a blind eye if I bring you!”

Bloom looked back at her parents. Vanessa smiled as she placed a hand on her shoulder. “Maybe next year, honey. I don’t think--”

Stella sighed. The ring around her finger began to glow, and the color drained from her face. “Oh! I’m so sorry to dash off like this, really, but if you’re not coming, I have to go. My parents are trying to track me, and if they find out I’m on Earth--” Her face lit up. “Aha! I can say the ogre attacked me. That will work. Yeah, I was transporting, and I fell on Earth because he attacked. But I still ought to go. Thank you so much. May the moon and stars bless you.” She pulled the ring from her finger and tossed it up until it turned back into the scepter Bloom had seen her carry. In another flash of light, she disappeared.

Eventually, the Peters decided that the best thing to do was forget about the encounter. Bloom was still unsure of the existence of magic, and her parents were unsure of what to do with the knowledge. Summer passed; school resumed, and Bloom spent her time with Selina and Andy delving into fantasy novels and homework.

As for the crown princess of Solaria, she elected to remove their part in the story when she arrived at Alfea. After all, why would anyone believe there was a fairy on Earth? She’d already been nearly expelled. It was better to stay on the straight and narrow this year. Her suitemates never had a clue that Stella was involved in any incidents other than the decimation of the potions lab.

#megan writes

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satelliteofmstielove · 8 years ago

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K17 Time of the Apes

Monkey wrenching

General notes

Ah, more Sandy Frank. That name just warms my heart. Oh wait, that’s the rage at having to watch another one of these things. Okay, so maybe it’s not quite that bad, but man, it’s not good. This is the last Sandy Frank episode for KTMA, giving us two seasons of freedom from the hot dog dropped on the beach, until Season 3 when we get to watch almost all of these movies again, but with better riffing.

Like Cosmic Princess [K10], Fugitive Alien [K12], and Mighty Jack [K14], Time of the Apes is actually assembled from pieces of a TV show. The original show was called Saru no Gundan (“Army of Apes”) and aired in the early ‘70s. Apparently, it’s not too bad, if Planet of the Apes adaptations (one might say “rip-off” instead, but hey) are your thing. I can see how, without bad dubbing and half the story cut out, it could be a fun watch. In this form, however, it’s…well, it’s on MST3K.

This episode is unique- Joel’s not in it! I don’t know the detailed backstory, but I guess he had to be out of town that week, so they just taped the episode without him. Having just Tom and Crow in the theater makes for a slightly different feel. Let’s go watch some monkeys, shall we?

Prologue

The Mads are having trouble getting the Joel on the phone. Unfortunately for them, the bots are in a trolling mood and aren’t being much help.

It sounds like the Mads send Time of the Apes as retaliation for the bots’ unhelpfulness. Something similar happens in several later episodes, such as Hobgoblins [907]. It seems like Pearl was especially prone to this.

Mr. Potato Head is back on the desk this week. Dr. Forrester takes out his anger on it by ripping off its nose. Or maybe he just felt like dressing it up differently, at that exact moment.

Movie pt. 1

Does anyone else automatically sing “Sandy Frank, Sandy Frank” along to the opening music? I can’t help myself.

Crow sits in Joel’s usual seat.

At 3:06, Tom already says he feels kind of a void without Joel in the theater. He’s also not too happy about sitting right next to Crow, it seems. He tells Crow maybe he should empty his load pan because he doesn’t smell very good. So…did anyone ever figure out what a load pan was actually supposed to be? I’m not sure I want to know, now.

I never noticed before how peppy the music in this section of the movie is.

Crow doubts the monkeyhood of the animal at 5:41. Tom thinks it’s a possum, Crow guesses lemur. Crow was closer- it’s actually a loris.

6:55- Crow continues his already storied career as an incorrigible punster.

Servo mentions Joel’s absence again at 7:16, wondering where he is.

At 8:32, Crow’s already got this movie’s number.

Wow, this advanced scientific compound’s wiring does not seem up to code.

Crow mentions doing experiments in science class at 10:10. I know it’s probably just a joke, but Joel probably would do experiments with the bots for fun. Probably not “destroy the monkey freezing plant” experiments, though.

At 10:48, Tom mocks Crow’s time as a Christmas tree from several episodes ago, which Crow does not particularly appreciate. He compares being frozen to “drinking a Slurpee real fast.”

Tom also calls commercial at 11:23.

When Johnny starts calling for his uncle at 13:10, the bots start up calling out other names. Sort of a proto version of a joke they’d use in multiple later episodes, most memorably in Pod People [303]. They start it up again at 16: 27.

Some of the camera movement and editing choices in this movie are so strange.

Tom begins whistling at 18:47. After a little while, Crow asks him how he gets his “blowport” to pucker to make that sound. Tom says it’s a special program, but…Also, if anyone knows what song(s) he’s whistling, I’d be interested to know.

At 20:48, Crow says Joel should be there, and Servo says he’s getting a little concerned.

Trace has made Josh laugh at least three times so far in the episode. He’s on a roll. Has been for the past few episodes, actually.

Crow mentions Joel’s absence again in a riff at 22:36.

I don’t know why, but Crow’s little “Mm?” at 23:18 is adorable.

The bots decide to go look for Joel as they leave the theater.

Host Segment 1

The bots discuss where Joel might be, and go over where they’ve already looked. It’s sort of cute how they don’t know all the rooms on the ship.

They quickly degenerate into arguing, unsurprisingly. They really are like young siblings.

Crow calls Tom a “spasmodic crofisator” (crophysator?), a term that would be used again at least once in Season 1. It sounds like an insult but I’m not sure what it means. Maybe they don’t know, either.

Gypsy shows up to break up the fight, carrying Joel’s jumpsuit in her mouth. Does Joel only have one jumpsuit? I always sort of assumed he had at least a couple. But I guess in KTMA he only ever wore the one on camera, so maybe he did only have one. He only had one on camera in Season 1, too. Actually, the only season where he clearly had more than one jumpsuit was Season 2, where he had at least 5- teal, bright red, cyan, light green, and his classic maroon one, which he wears in every episode after it first shows up in Godzilla vs. Megalon [212]. Mike wore the same green one throughout Season 5 (unless you count the navy one in Mitchell), got a royal blue one (Zombie Nightmare [604]) and a teal one (The Creeping Terror [606]) in Season 6, and then switched between the three of them for the rest of his time as host. You know, in case you wanted the brief jumpsuit history of MST3K.

Crow doesn’t know what a pod bay is either. Tom is not taking things seriously and activates a “wah-wah-wah” noise. Does that satellite have those built in?

Apparently the only possible conclusion one could reach after finding Joel’s uniform is that he’s floating naked in space. They don’t seem too concerned for his safety, just more interested in seeing him in an embarrassing position. These are the monsters you created, Joel.

Movie pt. 2

The way this is cut makes the story feel really choppy. Was is this bad in the version they used for the Season 3 episode? Probably.

The fire in the movie makes Crow sneeze at 28:52. Somehow. I wonder if Trace is a little sick- his voice cracks, too, at 29:08.

TV23 time and temperature at 35:41. 6:42, and 56°. I wish they’d tell us AM or PM, but I guess the people actually watching when this was on wouldn’t need to be told that. It was probably PM, since they taped during the day and played them in the evenings. I’m not sure if they showed them at other times on the channel as re-runs or not, though. Tom from mst3ktemple.com would probably know.

At 37:24, the bots start talking about how good it is to get your shoes off when you’ve been on your feet for a long time, despite the fact that neither of them wear shoes and only one of them could. (Unless you count that time from Danger Death Ray [620] where Tom wore the shoes on his head and hands. I don’t.)

Crow starts singing about taking the “ape train” at 46:41. It annoys Servo, but apparently Crow has to do it or his head will blow up. Personally, I think he may be exaggerating.

Immediately after, at 47:01, Tom mentions Joel void again. Crow says they’ll just go look at him through the telescope when they get out of the theater again. I guess that means they did locate him outside at the end of the last host segment, even if we didn’t get to see it.

Movie thing- why does the action scene on the train have such slow, ponderous music? I guess it’s not really that much of an action scene anyway.

Host Segment 2

Crow’s wearing Joel’s jumpsuit, which is ridiculously adorable. I wonder how he managed to put it on. It probably would have been entertaining to watch.

Servo and Crow discuss the implication of Joel being stuck outside, with themselves being the only ones who could let him in, all the while ignoring his pounding on the door outside. They like the idea of forcing Joel to do their will in exchange for saving him from the dark vacuum of space.

What does Crow have against breadfruit plants? Do they take up too much of Joel’s time?

Predictably, Tom’s still on about babes.

Crow also suggests sending him adrift with a sextant, charts and a toaster. Servo objects to losing Lucille the toaster, something about four toast slots. I hope hope hope that it’s just because he’s likes making four pieces of toast at a time and not for some other reason…speaking of which, what kind of fun does Crow think Joel would have with the toaster? I guess he’d tinker with it. He wouldn’t have anything else to do, since the sextant and charts sure aren’t going to help him navigate anywhere in space.

The bots decide the pounding they’re hearing is space barnacles that need removal, to justify messing with Joel some more, but get Movie Sign before they get a chance.

Movie pt. 3

At 51:41, I agree with Tom- I’ve never seen anyone that unconcerned about a UFO.

Josh sneezes at 54:12. Crow/Trace says “gesundheit.”

Tom forgets Godo’s name at 57:05. Usually forgetting how to say characters’ names is Joel’s thing. I guess someone had to do it since he’s wasn’t there.

Did Sandy Frank even attempt to make this part coherent? Was it 5 pm on a Friday and he was just like “Eh, this is good enough, those kids won’t know what’s going on anyway”?

Servo calls commercial again at 1:01:43.

At 1:03:23, Crow is unimpressed by Tom’s joke.

1:04:46- Servo mentions Joel again, though I’m not sure whether he means Joel is a naked ape, or someone who is going back to his country. Is he saying that’s why Joel went out into space in the first place? I guess it could be.

Tom and Crow discuss the Academy Awards at 1:06:12.

The cliff in this flashback is, like, the least treacherous cliff ever. You could walk up that.

Host Segment 3

Cambot plays some old footage of Joel (from Invaders from the Deep [K01], with the long hair and turquoise jumpsuit- wait, he did have another jumpsuit in KTMA. Does that invalidate my whole spiel about jumpsuits from earlier? Oh nevermind). It freaks out Tom and Crow for a second because they think they’ll be in trouble. Have we ever seen this part before? I can’t recall if that little bit is in the snippets video of the three missing episodes.

Inevitably, the bots get into another argument, this time about whether the Joel behind the door was real or simulated. Usually the human has to break up the fighting. If something else didn’t interrupt, I wonder how far it would escalate.

Anybody know who that was behind door #2? Whoever it was, he terrified the bots. Maybe just because he was huge? Or perhaps they don’t like baldness.

Things get a little trippy when Tom starts playing with the laws of reality. He seems to have that power. He does something similar in Gunslinger [511], and Crow doesn’t like it any better then than he does here.

Movie pt. 4

At 1:15:17, Crow and Servo talk about whether or not humans have the same number of hairs on their bodies as apes. Crow thinks so, Servo doesn’t believe it.

I think we’re all starting to get impatient along with Crow. This is dragging on forever.

Down to 54° by 7:45, so I’m guessing it is PM, at 1:27:24.

Ah, we’re finally back on track- Wizard of Oz reference #14 at 1:29:23. I knew they’d return someday. The last three episode haven’t had any, at least that I could find, so my original theory about there being a WoZ riff in every Joel episode has been disproven. I still predict that there will be at least one in every Joel ep in the series proper, though.

The impatience continues.

At 1:31:20, Servo says that if Joel were there, they’d have run out of monkey puns much earlier. Is that because they’d have said more of them in a row to annoy him, or because Joel’s presence discourages the creation of monkey puns?

Something about Tom’s timing at 1:32:07 is just great.

Very brief Wizard of Oz reference #15 at 1:33:55.

Movie thing- So they do explain how they got back to their own time, it just makes NO SENSE. I wonder if Tom still feels like exploding.

Servo forgets Godo’s name again at 1:36:16, calling him Gobo.

1:36:58- uh, what other organ were you thinking of, Crow?

Tom falls over onto Crow as they start to leave the theater, but manages to get back up.

Once again, I can’t not sing the Sandy Frank song along with the credits.

Conclusion

We get a rare outside shot of the S.O.L., along with floating-(semi)-naked-in-space Joel, as represented by an action figure of some kind. I…don’t really think Joel would look like that with his shirt off, but hey.

Tom and Crow contemplate life without Joel. They only seem to recall all the mean stuff Joel has done to them since their creation, but they still do say they miss him a little.

They also talk about how they actually like each other, although that “You’re the greatest” remark from Crow could have a bit sarcastic. Hard to tell. I prefer to interpret it in a positive light.

I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but Alexandra Carr is now in the credits as the Fan Club Coordinator and Production Assistant. She’d continue to be on the show’s staff for a long time.

Joel is also still listed as starring in the episode even though he wasn’t there, just like Trace was still credited for Crow in the eps where he was gone.

At least in the copy I linked, the sound on the tape starts flipping out in an amusing way at the very end.

Thoughts on the Movie

This movie is…really goofy. I won’t go in-depth, since we have to watch it again in a few seasons, but man. Actually, it’s quite refreshing after two confusing 70s TV-movie dramas in a row. It’s not really any less confusing, but it’s much more entertaining to watch. This is also the second movie in a row with a really annoying child, although Johnny is much more amusing in his annoyingness than the kid in City on Fire (Gerald? Was that his name? I don’t care enough to go check). That kid was just not very good, whereas Johnny is not that terrible, he just kind of a spaz. Fits in with the rest of the movie, I guess.

Review

This was a pretty solid episode. Of course, the definition of a solid episode in KTMA versus Season 1 and beyond is quite different, but this one measures up to what they’ve done so far. Josh and Trace kept the energy nicely throughout. The two of them always played off each other well (favorite riff- Crow: Let’s buy these guys a tripod, whadda ya say?). This episode didn’t provide nearly as many laugh-out-loud moments as the last one, though, which reinforces to me that three really is the magic number. Something about having all of them together brings it up to the right level. The movie itself was pretty lively this week, which probably helped make up for losing a riffer. If it had been say, Cosmic Princess with only Tom and Crow, it might not have worked as well.

#mst3k #KTMA #K17 #Time of the Apes #ACFGEG #Bam two in one month #It can be done! with the right amount of procrastinating homework

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placetobenation · 6 years ago

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As many of you are aware, WWE Network is pretty packed with all sorts of content. And as you may also know, we here at Place to Be Nation love long term, in depth projects. So, as part of this initiative, members of the PTBN Staff are choosing programs at random and after watching each program, they will share their thoughts, notes and recommendations with our readers. So, settle in and enjoy this epic ride through wrestling history!

Smackdown! October 31st 2002

Run Time: 83 Minutes

Why Jacob Why???: Since this edition be running right around Halloween, I thought I’d pick one of the more Halloween-centric WWF/E shows. Plus, it’s an excuse to watch the Smackdown Six.

Best Segment

OhhhhhhhhYEEEEAAAAH!

Aaron George: Matt Hardy enters the Halloween party with a boom box blasting his theme song. Sure he could have entered without it, but what kind of Mattitude would that project? Before long he’s declaring Moolah and Mae Young to be “Version BC” and quickly notes that their Mattitude has all dried up. We would have been treated to sheer perfection if only he had blasted that sweet boom box on his exit.

Brian Bayless: While seeing John Cena dressed as Vanilla Ice and rapping was great and ended up elevating his career, I though the brawl between Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle backstage at the party was the best of the night. It had everything from comedy (We saw Brother Love revealed behind the Scream mask & costume, the same costume Angle was using to avoid Benoit earlier in the show) and a wild brawl that saw Benoit break a bottle over Angle’s head just before getting put through a table with an Angle Slam. And poor Shannon Moore got tossed across the room by Angle.

Jacob Williams: It feels like cheating to pick the entire Halloween party. At the same time, it’s hard to narrow it down because a lot it was very fluid. If I had to pick one bit, it would be Tajiri’s romantic encounter with Mae and Moolah. His facials were classic.

Calum McDougall: “OOHHH YEAAAH!!” – there was only one winner in this one for me and it was Matt Hardy at the Halloween Party. From him coming in with his own music playing on a boom box to calling Mae and Moolah “Version B.C.” and everything in between, it was brilliant stuff.

Dave Hall: Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit brawl at the Halloween Party. The seeds of this segment lay in the earlier segment where Benoit was looking for Kurt, who was hiding under the Scream outfit. Following Angle’s match with Eddie, Kurt comes back to the party looking for Benoit. Kurt’s approach to the “Scream Character” believing it to be Benoit was a good call back to the earlier segment, and I loved seeing the cameo by Brother Love. The brawl between the two men following this was awesome, using the tables, wall and other party elements.

Best Match

Uhhhh stay out of Riverdale!

Aaron George: It’s the brown water match and it’s not even close. Sure every other match on the card was technically better, but Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson gave us a “stiff” (as per Tazzzzzzzzz) match that will always be etched into the annals of time as simply the best to take place in a pool of liquid shit. They can tell us it’s chocolate, but honestly what kind of chocolate has that consistency? It’s liquid human shit which is clearly their metaphor for the poopstorm that is coming in the form of this feud. Was the ref rolling around silly? Sure. Were Torrie’s chops DIRECTLY to Dawn’s breasts the best since Flair/Steamboat in 89? Absolutely. The best part was after the loss Dawn gave Torrie a look that clearly said, “Yeah? Well I’m going to fuck your dad.” A threat I have often used but have very rarely carried out. I can only imagine Vince McMahon Sr. looking down from Heaven, beaming with pride as his son carried on the family business. ******

Brian Bayless: Edge vs. Chris Benoit was an excellent TV match. The work was crisp and the finish made sense as it continued the friction between Angle and Benoit, who were the Smackdown Tag Team Champions.

Jacob Williams: On a show with some quality wrestling, the opener between Benoit and Edge felt like the most complete match. I love that they could come out and just have a great, straight-up match to start the show.

Calum McDougall: As good as Edge vs Benoit and Angle vs Eddie were, my favorite match was actually Brock Lesnar vs. Rey Mysterio. This match had three distinct parts to it – the early section with Rey out maneuvering the big man, followed by the middle part where Brock throws Rey around like a rag-doll and finally the end where Big Show comes out and manhandles both of them, looking like a complete beast in the process. Great stuff for the short time it was on, and call me crazy, but I wouldn’t mind seeing another Brock-Rey match in 2018.

Dave Hall: Kurt Angle vs Eddie Guerrero. On a show with so many options for the title of Match of the Night, Kurt and Eddie absolutely stole the show. Kurt was a wrestling machine, and looked amazing in the ring, while Eddie was crisp and quick. The two men countered each other finishers, and put on a clinic. The match built really well to some great action in the last few minutes, and a decent ending for a TV match. Benoit’s interference was appropriate to the storyline, and I loved how he took out Eddie and Chavo as well, demonstrating he was not working with them.

Most Cringeworthy Moment

Trojan Vince! Don’t let it in the city!

Aaron George: I’m not going to say that Stephanie McMahon isn’t an attractive woman, but on a show with the aforementioned Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie, does EVERY person who comes into Steph’s radius have to fawn on her as though she were Helen of fucking Troy. Are those the tits that launched a thousand ships?

Brian Bayless: Eric Bischoff making out with Stephanie McMahon after he was in her office wearing a Vince McMahon mask was something I never need to see again in my life. It was creepy in the worst way possible.

Jacob Williams: Sorry Michael Cole, but awkwardly perving out during the women’s pool-of-chocolate-sauce match can’t compete with Bischoff forcing himself on a woman 20 years his junior in a weird incest roleplay.

Calum McDougall: The piped-in cheers every time Stephanie McMahon was on the screen. Now I know that all of the cheers on SmackDown at this time were piped in, but there was no reason for Stephanie’s to be top-tier babyface loud other than pure ego. Only Brock and maybe Edge got louder “cheers”. I don’t know whether them going to these lengths to show Stephanie as being popular is cringy or outright infuriating, but it certainly rubbed me the wrong way.

Dave Hall: Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson.This segment showed us just how far women’s wrestling has come in 16 years. This match was horrible to watch, with the two women degrading themselves in little clothing and in a pool of chocolate milk. I hated every moment of this match, including the customary referee gets rolled over spot. I am so glad the women’s evolution means we don’t have to see this crap any more.

Funniest Line/Moment

Hashtag Tajiritoo

Aaron George: I’m still laughing at the image of Al Wilson dressed up like a greaser. Still.

Brian Bayless: Tajiri’s facial expressions while Mae Young forced him to be her boyfriend. He is one of the more underrated comedic performers in wrestling.

Jacob Williams: Again, I can’t say enough about Tajiri’s face after the Mae Young smooch. I love Tajiri.

Calum McDougall: “He’s saying Do La Ray, you know what that means Cole? It means “I’m beating up Kurt”” – Tazz doing his best to boost the sales of his Spanish to Red Hook dictionary.

Dave Hall: With so much good “in-ring” action, there were not a lot of amazingly funny lines. However during the Eddie vs Angle match, Tazz made the comment “I like Guerrero… I like Kurt… I like everyone on the Smackdown roster except you Michael Cole”. Also John Cena’s “Vanilla Ice Costume” was a great reminder of how he broke out in the WWE. But when he told Stephanie that Vince was looking for her, and she called him out, and he then did the “damn, I look stupid moment”, I laughed out loud. Was a great reminder that John Cena has more in his character than the hustle/loyalty/respect stuff we have seen since about 2005/06, he can do good comedy and was willing to poke fun at himself.

Highlights

Remember when we weren’t insufferable pricks??

Aaron George: The entire concept of doing a Halloween show was a TON of fun, and made the show instantly memorable. They should do more theme shows today. I know that they are actively going for homogenous, but a curve ball like this would be more than welcome. The costumes were almost universally silly. Faarooq playing Charles Wright was bang on, and while you’d think that Chuck Palumbo dressed as a Native American would go down as 2018’s most offensive, you’d be horrible mistaken as the honor easily went to the fan dressed as the Rock in full blackface. Almost all the matches were top-tier television matches. “YEAH MY DURANGO, NUMBER 95,” is possibly the most Rob Zombie lyric ever. There is something beautiful about Chris Benoit simply avoiding Edge’s top rope dropkick rather than finding a way to kick him six times on the way down. Benoit also sells a turnbuckle drop in what can only be described as “like when you’re about to uppercut Von Kaiser in Mike Tyson’s Punch Out.” Teenage Brock Lesnar is always a blast to have around. Kurt Angle staring angrily into the audience as they chant “You Suck” is waaaay better that the smiling Kurt we get today. He STILL doesn’t get why they are booing him. He also has the best near falls in the business. I could also watch Brock throw Rey Mysterio around all day. Even then he was one of the better sellers in the business. Speaking of best in the business: Tajiri’s kicks. Oh and the Brother Love reveal was great.

Brian Bayless: The party segments backstage were amusing enough and some of the costumes were funny (Chuck Palumbo as a Native American and Disco Tajiri) while some were just lame (Phantom of the Opera Billy Kidman). And while not as good as Edge vs. Benoit, Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero was a solid match ending with Benoit whacking Angle with the belt setting up Eddie to hit a frog splash for the win. Matt Hardy with his Version 1.0 character was amusing and I liked his entrance into the party. The Pudding match between Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie was surprisingly intense and I can only imagine how hard Vince was laughing backstage after Torrie tossed ring announcer Tony Chimel into the pudding. And of course, Al Wilson dressed as a greaser was a sight to behold.

Jacob Williams: The Halloween stuff was a fun throwback to mid-80s TNT campiness that gave everyone a chance to show their personalities. I love any situation that shows that the wrestlers all hang out backstage and are basically coworkers. Smackdown had a nice roster who were either fun characters, amazing wrestlers, or a combination of both. Tazz and Cole are a fun commentary team that really fit the show.

Calum McDougall: The way the Big Show was presented was really good. It’s hard to imagine in 2018 that there was a time where people actually believed that Brock Lesnar couldn’t beat the Big Show. At least I believed that anyway… Tazz trying to call the Torrie/Dawn “match” as an actual athletic contest was excellent stuff. I watched this show on the Friday before WWE Evolution, and this really does show how far women’s wrestling has come in the last 16 years.

Dave Hall: Pretty well the entire show was a highlight. The in-ring product was amazing, and as much as I wanted to hate Chris Benoit, I loved his match with Edge and his brawl with Angle. Matt Hardy Version 1 was great, and a good reminder that Hardy always the better “character” to his brother Jeff. Brock Lesnar was awesome in the ring, although I felt he sold a little too much at the end of his match with Rey. Big Show was booked as the monster heel he excelled at. This show was a reminder of how good all these guys were in 2002, and also how much WWE missed the mark with so many of them over the years.

Lowlights

Aaron George: Big Show wrestling in his street clothes is awful. Is that business casual for him? He just looks like a god damn slob. His line delivery is worse. Is he bored? Stoned? Or did he simply study at the Stephanie McMahon “Petulant Child” school of acting? Seriously go back and watch how she says REY MYSTERIO in the opening segment when she gives him a match with Brock. Who on Earth talks that way? What on Earth was the point of the Bischoff/Stephanie kiss of weirdness? I know that she’s a sex symbol for the ages, but poor Eric simply doesn’t know what to do with himself after kissing the slutty witch of the east. Fuck Big Show for clearly ruining what could have been an awesome dream match. While I’m at it like me correct something I said earlier: there is no way Vince Sr. is in Heaven. Especially when you have a best friend named “Toots.”

Brian Bayless: One of the main goals was to build up Big Show as Brock Lesnar’s title opponent for Survivor Series and man did he fail tonight. His street clothes looked was terrible, his conditioning worse (he was gassed after beating Rikishi in a match that lasted under three minutes long), and the cut a terribly long promo that no one seemed to care about. Stephanie McMahon’s segments were all awkward tonight too.

Jacob Williams: The feud between Lesnar and Big Show was lackluster. Show looked so bloated and out of place in his biker dad jeans against a young stud like Brock. Show gasping through his promo and Brock’s stilted delivery of an S-Bomb in his response didn’t help matters. The women having to wrestle in a kiddy pool filled with Ovaltine was not a high point either.

Calum McDougall: The Big Show promo was unnecessarily long, he made the point, then made it another 2 or 3 times before Brock finally appeared. Also, Eddie Guerrero’s very noticeable bacne is a sad lowlight in retrospect.

Dave Hall: The only real lowlights for me were the segments involving Stephanie. The first segment seemed just an excuse to show off Stephanie’s breasts, while the kissing segment with Eric Bischoff, while humorous, was not necessary. With the amazing in-ring action, it made Stephanie’s part in the show seem really self-indulgent.

Wild Card BABY!!!

Wrestling!

I Can’t Believe This Got Over: It’s not rap. It’s bad slam poetry. It became worse slam poetry. – AG

Al Wilson Tidbit #1: Paul Heyman created the Al Wilson storyline and according to Torrie Wilson, Heyman gave her the option to use an actor in the role or her actual father and Torrie went with her dad because she rarely saw him and thought it would be fun as he used to act when he was younger. – BB

The Award for Most Misplaced Optimism: “Exciting times ahead in WWE after the signing of Scott Steiner.” I don’t think this one needs much explanation, let’s just let it sink in. – CM

Best Babyface in Peril: Person in the bear costume. – JW

Number of Sexual Assaults: 3! Mae Young accosts Tajiri. Eric Bischoff forces himself on Stephanie. (who is into it???) The letch in the Kane mask filming Dawn Marie. Someone should show Randy Savage footage of this guy to clearly demonstrate lust in the eyes. There is no way his hard on didn’t pierce someone’s back in front of him.

Al Wilson Tidbit #2: According to Dawn Marie, the toughest thing for her to do was kiss Al Wilson. However, Vince McMahon loved watching them kiss and even said he wanted to see “tongue.” – BB

Memories Are Forever: Looking at Brock and Kurt in amazing ring shape, and much smaller than recent years, Matt Hardy’s early character development, John Cena’s freestyle rapping and Edge using more counter wrestling really brought back some amazing memories of what these guys could do at the time. Watching this show made me think of the little things that seem to be missing today. – DH

Best Tidbit: According to Wade Keller of “Pro Wrestling Torch,” Brock Lesnar was originally going to defend the title against Hulk Hogan at Survivor Series 2002 but Hogan backed out, reportedly due to refusing to put Lesnar over. After contemplating between Chris Benoit and Big Show as replacements, Vince McMahon ultimately decided to go with Show despite Heyman pushing for a Benoit/Lesnar program. – BB

Best at Fooling Security Staff: The master of disguise Eric Bischoff strikes again. Twice now in 2002 Easy E has managed to get past SmackDown security just by wearing a mask. Extra points awarded for a good Vince impression, but points deducted for this not being as good as Billy and Chuck’s wedding. – CM

Al Wilson Tidbit #3: Dawn Marie also said that the Al Wilson angle was supposed to go on even longer with lawyers and Torrie’s brother added to the storyline but that all got nixed. – BB

Least Likely to Still be Full Time in 2018: Out of everyone on this show, who would have thought that it would be Rey Mysterio, the man of 619 knee operations, who would be the only one still wrestling full-time for WWE in 2018? – CM

I Really Tried…: I found it so hard watching Chris Benoit on this show. I really wanted to just overlook and hate him, but his match against Edge was amazing, and his brawl with Kurt was also great. As much as I wanted to, I just could not hate Benoit in this show, and I find myself really conflicted because of this. – DH

Final Thoughts

Come on! We needed one shot of this smoke show.

Aaron George: This was a fun, easy watch littered with great television matches and memorable moments. It’s easy to think of Smackdown as the “B” show, but it was clearly running on all cylinders here. Now someone please give me 75 minutes of Brock Lesnar manhandling Rey Mysterio! RATING: 7/10

Brian Bayless: The Halloween party theme worked really well and usually the WWE Holiday themed shows tend to be weak. It is also memorable for the creation of Cena’s rap character. We had a really good match and an intense brawl between Angle and Benoit. The Big Show segments were terrible but overall a fun show that breezed along. RATING: 7/10

Jacob Williams: This was a finely constructed piece of wrestling television. The Halloween stuff was enough to give the show a unique feel without smothering it. Just about everyone on the show looked to be pretty over and had something at least semi-meaningful to do. Plus, there were good matches to round everything out. Aside from the questionable Big Show spot, Smackdown looked to be in a pretty great groove at this point, so this show was a breezy watch. RATING: 7/10

Calum McDougall: It’s easy to see why SmackDown in ’02 was highly thought of at the time and is fondly remembered to this day, this stuff holds up so well. I had a smile on my face from start to finish, as this took me right back to when I would watch this on a Saturday morning. It was a fantastic trip down memory lane. It would be difficult to put on a bad show with this roster, and the quality of matches that they can and did put on was outrageous. I loved this, excellent stuff. RATING: 9/10

Dave Hall: This episode of Smackdown was awesome. 4 great matches, some good brawling out of the ring, John Cena giving us some freestyle and some good booking made this card one I would watch again. The only thing stopping it from being a 10 out of 10 was the Dawn Marie vs Torrie Wilson fiasco, and Stephanie’s self-indulgence. I may just need to watch some more Smackdown from this era… RATING: 9/10

And we are out! Where will the Network Adventure travel to? Which Coliseum will be conquered next? Which of these assholes will quit the project in an indignant rage??? Find out in TWO WEEKS!

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

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theonyxpath · 6 years ago

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Let’s start serious and move towards our yearly Thanks blog at the end.

I’ve heard from a lot of you asking if the recent messages that White Wolf have posted on their social media are something that will be bad for Onyx Path. As of this writing, everything we’ve heard from over there is that it’s business as usual between our companies. We are still going to be sending projects over for approvals, they are still the ones who OK our pitches for new WW-IP projects, and we’re still running our successful Chicago By Night KS, the first licensed V5 TTRPG supplement.

So fear not, True Believers!

I mean, I just had to channel Stan Lee there, after last week’s MMN blog.

Which was, oddly enough, the least commented-on blog I think I’ve ever posted. Very strange, but I’m just assuming you were all in mourning for Stan, too.

In case you missed it last week, here is the lovely graphic our own Impish Ian Watson made to show what game lines are wholly Onyx Path‘s, the ones at the top, and which are licensed from whom:

I actually didn’t think we’d need it again so soon, but there does seem to be a fair bit of confusion out there, so feel free to point to this if you need to explain things to a friend.

And that’s one of the awesome Chicago By Night full-page pieces up there at the top, illustrated by the amazing Michael Gaydos. More Chicago Kickstarter news – we’re headed into the last week! – down below in The Blurbs!

Trinity Continuum: Aeon art by Sam White

A bit of related news:

One of the first times I ever heard of Matthew Dawkins, who is our Chicago By Night developer, was when he interviewed me for his YouTube channel a whole bunch of years ago. From then, his Gentlemam Gamer videos have taken deep dives into many of the White Wolf (and other) games, and were very helpful in explaining aspects of V5 during this last year.

Now, Matthew has agreed to create a series of Gentleman Gamer videos for our Onyx Path games starting with the pantheons in Scion 2nd Edition, and you’ll also be seeing Matthew in other ways too, as he helps ramp up our online gaming presence. More on that in the weeks to come!

BUT DON’T WORRY, his dulcet tones are still going to be appearing weekly on the Onyx Pathcast – which this coming Friday features Dixie interviewing Jacqueline “Jax” Bryk with a one-on-one covering not just her work with us, but throughout the TTRPG biz, and how she has become one of our industries leading lights for safe play game writing.

Trinity Continuum: Aeon art by Marco Gozales

And now, the thanks!

Let’s start with the newest member of our Monday Meeting team, Dixie Cochran:

I am thankful that the whole Onyx Path team gave me the opportunity to work on these books in a greater capacity this year. I am thankful that Eddy, Matthew, and Rich are always supportive and willing to answer my many questions, and that Rose Bailey recommended me for this job as she moved on to a new stage in her career. I am thankful for all of my amazing Chronicles of Darkness and Exalted developers, writers, and fans, who continue to do amazing work and be a wonderful community. I am also thankful for lovely editors and indexers, Word’s “track changes” function, and Oxford commas.

From the art and layout side of things, there are these points from Mirthful Mike Chaney, in no particular order he tells me:

Thankful our first Storypath IPs are really close to being done and ready to release.

Thankful our non WW stuff has been continually well received…

Thankful that Wraith 20 is almost done… and Scion…

Thankful my wife is still as into 40k as I am… now if I could only get her into D&D 5e.

Thankful that the midterms weren’t an utter shitshow.

Thankful that I still get to work with all of you and still get to make game books after all these years.

Our marketing guru and developer/writer extraordinaire Monica Valentinelli shares these thoughts:

I’d like to thank fans for their continued support and enthusiasm. People are really excited for the games we make, and that’s the reason why I do what I do.

Here’s Eddy Webb, with his thanks:

I continue to be thankful for all of the fans of Realms of Pugmire.

I am thankful that Monarchies of Mau is shipping (and ahead of schedule!)

I am thankful to find so many people who are really excited about our upcoming Storypath games like Scion, Trinity Continuum, They Came From Beneath The Sea!, and Dystopia Rising: Evolution.

And I am thankful that there are still people who love and support Onyx Path Publishing.

Mighty Matt McElroy takes a long sip of coffee and sez:

I want thank everyone who has had the time and energy to introduce an Onyx Path game to someone new. Whether that is inviting someone to join your gaming group or running a demo at a convention, this past year has been an amazing opportunity to meet new gamers around the world.

Our behind-the-scenes keeper of the flame, LisaT has these thanks to share with all of you:

I am thankful again this year for the opportunity to work with so many talented and creative people. And this year I had the opportunity to meet a number of them face to face along with many fans of our products. I’m looking forward to meeting even more of you at PAX Unplugged in Philadelphia in just a couple of weeks. So if you’re in town stop by and become part of what I’m thankful for for next year!

Impish Ian Watson, lord of Bloodlines modding, also does some other stuff he has thanks about:

I’m thankful that, after years toiling in the word mines, the Trinity Continuum and Æon are almost done, and we’ve done a significant chunk of the next two supplements, plus Aberrant. I can’t wait for people to see the fruits of our labours.

I’m thankful to Trinity‘s Kickstarter backers for having faith in us.

Let’s see what sort of thanks Mr. Dawkins has to share:

Yo Gentlemaniacs, it’s Thanksgiving night, and this is the happiest time of year for all the maniacs, brother! You know, me and all my little Gentsters, we got a lot of things to be thankful for. Number one: we’re thankful for being happy and very healthy. We’re thankful for having time to share with our loved ones. We’re also thankful that Gentlemania is still the strongest force in the universe. And after the turkey’s done, after the blessings are all done, I can tell you what the Gentleman is mostly happy about: it’s SURVIVOR SERIES TIME! And I’m thankful for my team of Gentlemaniacs!!

That, and Onyx Path are pretty cool.

Uhhhhh. He may be cracking under the pressure. Hard to say.

From me:

I sometimes sit at my desk, stunned by the realization that I still get to do this after all these years and I’m thankful for that – a lot! Thanks to our creative freelancers who continue to find delightful new ways to verbally and visually describe our game worlds, and our full-time folks who orchestrate all this rampant creativity into the formats and pages that we all love to read and play. Thanks to all of our associated partner companies that give us the reach to deliver and communicate this thing we do to all of you!

Which, of course, actually brings me to all of you and all of our community who have supported us through our growing pains, lo! these many years, and even through pains not of our choosing! Without this intricate eco-system that includes all of us and all of you, we just would not have been able to keep building all our game lines and worlds!

Thank you.

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

KICKSTARTER:

Lo the darkness that lies like a pall over Chicago.

The V5 Chicago By Night Kickstarter has passed 200% funding and continues to knock through Stretch Goals like the El through a sleet storm! Congrats to the whole team and all our backers, as we continue to build the Chicago Folio with Cam, Anarchs, and Independent sections and the Let The Streets Run Red Chronicle Collection, as well as activate additional projects too!

We’d be thrilled if you’d give it a look here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/200664283/chicago-by-night-for-vampire-the-masquerade-5th-ed/description

And here is a Q&A Matthew and several of his writing team held on his Gentleman Gamer YouTube channel that goes into a lot of their thinking about Chicago By Night and then they answer questions from the chat: https://youtu.be/v8YbbzEPuiI

Next up, we’re working on the Kickstarter for They Came From Beneath the Sea! (TCFBtS!), which has some very different additions to the Storypath mechanics we’ll be explaining during the KS. They take an excellent 50’s action and investigation genre game and turn it to 11! Our current plan is to start on Dec 18th but run it extra long into January!

ELECTRONIC GAMING:

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is both rolling and rocking!

Here are the links for the Apple and Android versions:

http://theappstore.site/app/1296692067/onyx-dice

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.onyxpathpublishing.onyxdice&hl=en

Three different screenshots, above.

And our latest, the dice for Werewolf: The Forsaken 2e:

ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue you bought it from. Reviews really, really help us with getting folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

Vampire: The Masquerade: The Endless Ages Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: Rites of Renown: When Will You Rage II (Kindle, Nook)

Mage: The Ascension: Truth Beyond Paradox (Kindle, Nook)

Chronicles of Darkness: The God-Machine Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Mummy: The Curse: Curse of the Blue Nile (Kindle, Nook)

Beast: The Primordial: The Primordial Feast Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Vampire: The Masquerade: Of Predators and Prey: The Hunters Hunted II Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: The Poison Tree (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: Songs of the Sun and Moon: Tales of the Changing Breeds (Kindle, Nook)

Vampire: The Requiem: The Strix Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Forsaken: The Idigam Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Mage: The Awakening: The Fallen World Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Vampire: The Masquerade: The Beast Within Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: W20 Cookbook (Kindle, Nook)

Exalted: Tales from the Age of Sorrows (Kindle, Nook)

Chronicles of Darkness: Tales of the Dark Eras (Kindle, Nook)

Promethean: The Created: The Firestorm Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Demon: The Descent: Demon: Interface (Kindle, Nook)

Scarred Lands: Death in the Walled Warren (Kindle, Nook)

V20 Dark Ages: Cainite Conspiracies (Kindle, Nook)

Chronicles of Darkness: Strangeness in the Proportion (Kindle, Nook)

Vampire: The Requiem: Silent Knife (Kindle, Nook)

Mummy: The Curse: Dawn of Heresies (Kindle, Nook)

OUR SALES PARTNERS:

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there!

https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

And we’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

Here’s the link to the press release we put out about how Onyx Path is now selling through Indie Press Revolution: http://theonyxpath.com/press-release-onyx-path-limited-editions-now-available-through-indie-press-revolution/

And you can now order Pugmire: the book, the screen, and the dice! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/manufacturers.php?manufacturerid=296

DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

This Wednesday is a cornucopia of delicious choices!

Featuring: electronic wallpapers previously only available to Kickstarter backers for Changeling: The Dreaming 20th, W20 Shattered Dreams, V20 Beckett’s Jyhad Diary, Pugmire, Dark Eras, and Prince’s Gambit on DTRPG!

Followed up by Monarchies of Mau symbol t-shirts on our Red Bubble store, as a lead-in to next week and the release of Mau in PDF and PoD versions to the public!

CONVENTIONS!

Rich, Lisa, Matt, Eddy, Dixie, Danielle, and other Onyx Path writers and developers will be at PAX Unplugged in Philly, November 30th – December 2nd running demos of Scion, Monarchies of Mau, Exalted, and more! http://unplugged.paxsite.com/

Start getting ready for our appearance at MidWinter this January in Milwaukee! So many demos, playtests, secret playtests, and Onyx Path Q&As you could plotz!

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM FAST EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

C20 Novel (Jackie Cassada) (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Scion Ready Made Characters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion Jumpstart (Scion 2nd Edition)

Geist2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Memento Mori: the GtSE 2e Companion (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Distant Worlds (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Redlines

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Development

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Night Horrors: Shunned by the Moon (Werewolf: The Forsaken 2nd Edition)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

CofD Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)

Manuscript Approval:

V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)

Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

Wr20 Book of Oblivion (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Editing:

Signs of Sorcery (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Aeon Aexpansion (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

C20 Players’ Guide (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

Dystopia Rising: Evolution (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Adventures for Curious Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

In Media Res (Trinity Continuum: Core)

Tales of Excellent Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

Post-Editing Development:

Ex Novel 2 (Aaron Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Indexing:

ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

In Art Direction

Dystopia Rising: Evolution – Sketches coming in, and they look good.

Geist 2e

The Realm – Fulls contracted. Talking to Gong and Gunship about availability during holidays.

Ex3 Monthly Stuff

Chicago By Night – KS moving along.

C20 Player’s Guide – Contracted.

Aeon Aexpansion

They Came From Beneath the Sea! – Getting more KS art since we have a little time, gonna start on KS assets.

Lost 2e Jumpstart – Art contracted – sketches trickling in.

EX3 Lunars – KS art contracted.

Signs of Sorcery – Contracted – sketches trickling in.

Marketing Stuff

In Layout

M20: Gods and Monsters – With Josh, progressing.

Pugmire Roll of Good Dogs and Cats

Proofing

Scion Hero – Pre XX errata fixes.

Scion Origin – Corrections are in.

Ex3 Dragon Blooded

CtL2 Jumpstart – Awaiting more corrections.

Trinity Core

Trinity Aeon

At Press

Monarchies of Mau and Screen – And dice and buttons, all shipped to backers. Waiting for PoD proofs.

Wraith 20th – Fixing some issues with the front cover emboss. Everything else good to go though.

Wraith 20 Screen – Printing.

Scion Dice – At Studio2.

Lost 2e Screen – Printing.

Scion Screen – Printing.

Changeling: The Lost 2e – Printing.

Fetch Quest – Proof coming this week.

Exalted 3rd Novel – Out to backers, getting errata.

VtR Guide to the Night – Inputting errata and prepping for PoD.

PtC Tormented – I think we hit errata shutdown on Wednesday.

TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE:

Thanksgiving! Not necessarily the “school” holiday of pilgrims and first winters and all that, but the holiday of togetherness and actually looking at how things are in your life and being glad (thankful) for the good parts and the parts that you learned from. And MST3K new season dropping on Turkey Day!

#Onyx Path Publishing

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