#i am supposed to only be a tool.
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nightmare8-420 · 2 months ago
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Why does nothing ever hurt enough when you want to hurt.
Why dont i just do it, this is so pathetic
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mochasucculent · 15 days ago
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Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in
#viktor#arcane#ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer#it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting#so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath#tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder#where the strap would be#but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise#everything looks like its screwed together#or screwed INTO him#but only the top bolts on his spine are i think#in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine#so he can take it off. but HOW#what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off#does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper#the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss#forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this#any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours#something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly#and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place#they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc#or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought#and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off#dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like#like 40 different controllers#soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine#<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig#forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy
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hongluboobs · 1 year ago
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ur always chasin that damn Whale🙄‼️
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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year ago
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crescentfool · 1 year ago
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thinking about what a kensa squiffer would've been like...
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horsetailcurlers2 · 4 months ago
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cbt may not be for me. my therapist is alway like “you should examine why you feel that way” and i’m like????? a.) i just explained exactly why i feel that way and b.) isn’t that what i’m here for??? so you can help me with the examining. like maybe i’m just bad at therapy and missing something but there’s only so many times she can tell me to be mindful before i take a hammer to the walls
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featherymainffins · 11 days ago
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When I start having a panic attack about visiting my family I know it's time to go to sleep immediately no ifs no buts
#like ohhhh ok essay can wait for the morning it's sleep time now#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh girl save me i don't want to go there aha#like haha what will i do wrong this time? doing nothing is also doing something wrong. you must always be doing something to#avoid the wrath. but anything you do can also lead to doing it incorrectly and that will get you punished.#wrong question. wrong tone. a mistake. wrong order of activities.#and hey if you manage to do it all just right? if you take care to never make a mistake to avoid prying eyes to do everything#that needs to be done before you begin to do something to ensure that you'll do it just right with no mistakes on the first try#because you know what happens if you don't; if you manage that; well then YOU will be wrong#your existence; your looks; the way you've changed; the way you haven't. you're nothing. you're not a person.#you're something that must always look a certain way and act a certain way. I'll never be a son but I'm my mother's daughter#and don't you know that a daughter's only purpose is to be everything her mother always wanted to be?#her copy but better; a sort of manufactured god; but she's the deity so what does that make you? you're an offering on the altar#and hey if you manage to be all that; then she might love you! which of course translates to 'she finds you useful'#'she finds you infallible' 'she finds you adequate' 'she finds you productive enough'#'she finds you a good tool to achieve what she's always wanted'#but you have to keep it up. you have to always keep it up. I'm an orphan boy and it'd be easier to be a daughter.#but what does it matter i suppose I'll get hit either way. what does it matter I'm not good enough either way.#i could never be good enough for her to like me. i wonder where I've gone wrong. i would say 'i should have tried harder'#but i have no idea what the thing i've failed at is. i keep asking 'what did i do? what did i do? I'll be better I swear I'm sorry.'#but there is never an answer. there's just me begging like a fool and a bunch of people telling me i deserve it.#just a bunch of people saying that is exactly why i deserve it. that it's not even that bad. What's one exorcism between family?#isn't that right? What's a hit what's a beating what's a death threat; amirite? it's nothing a good daughter shouldn't bear with grace#What's a few insults what's controlling your medical appointments what's constantly shifting the rules of the game?#all just things i am supposed to take better than i do.
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cyeayt · 1 year ago
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Enough about kolob, enough about cain/Bigfoot, enough about secret languages and creepy occult shit that sure, might be believed in flds cults down in the south of the state but that aren’t that relevant to wider church culture. The only similar thing that should be talked about is polygamy, and not in a "oh those crazy mormons i bet they all still do it hardehar har" but in a way that reminds everyone that the founders of this religion were horrible men and the whole thing has been sexist from the very beginning,
lets talk about soaking, about repression, about feeling trapped and making what seems like the biggest decision of your life at eight years old, even when you all know its not really your choice. lets talk about how impossible it is to be rude, when rudeness is considered saying no to anyone or not talking to people who make you uncomfortable. lets talk about the racist and colonialist foundations of the church, how no one will say it but technically yes our children are taught that native americans are the descendants of the evil race who killed all of our heroes. lets talk about missions as a tool of colonization and power and how they're not only a way to beat down the young people who go on them to solidify the idea that the world hates them and only the church is safe, but also to assimilate and collect money from people all over the world. lets talk about all the shit that makes this religion a horrible oppressive environment to grow up in, the way that afab people are taught from like three years old that one day they will grow up to be mothers, and everything else that i cant type all of because its really just a whole horrible culture of fear and shame packed into beige carpeted walls and squeaky gym floors.
tldr, the stuff that makes Mormonism bad isnt that different than any other religion, its mostly sexism racism homophobia and transphobia, and of course the terror of polite manners and the implications thereof.
this post is actually supposed to be funny because me and my cousin couldn't stop cracking up about soaking, like, a couple on a dating app looking for a third but its not for a threesome its for soaking, cmon its hysterical. anyway,,,,
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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 8 months ago
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Imagine doing so much hard work and persevering through law school to have your failed tests advertised on the internet news. The bar is really hard; he’s not “cringe fail.” I am jealous of his ability to even attend college without committing suicide. He did a good job. Leave my dude the fuck alone.
I don’t care if they’re elites. If they’re elites; then make fun of them solely for being rich nepotism babies. There are non-elites who have failed the bar (or any important test) once or twice as well who will see this and feel bad about themselves.
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#My uncle failed the bar I think three times before he passed and he’s a smart dude. It is extremely difficult#I respect anyone — even if they are an elite — who is capable and willing to put in that much mental work on anything#No one deserves to be ridiculed for moving past failure and trying again#That is a strength.#Or do we as a society only care about the “naturally smart” and “gifted?”#I’ve failed tests and retaken them before and so have you; should the internet ridicule us?#The SPED kids I work with very often don’t understand things the first the time around; should we ridicule them as well?#At what point do we stop judging people for their mistakes?#Also if the roles were reversed and the former princess took the bar three times; would you still say she were “cringe fail?”#or would you be too afraid of sounding “anti-feminist?”#Why? Is it because men are “supposed” to be smarter than women#and tasks that are “expected” from them would make a woman a “girlboss” for completing them?#or perhaps is it because we just don’t like men and think them creatures of lesser intellect worthy of our jeering and pet names?#Because I for one am androgynous and sick of the double standards. They help nobody#Don’t expect more from men than you do from women; don’t expect less from women than you do from men#That includes how one gender group speaks of and behaves around the other#It is the reason why a man feels he cannot physically fight a woman who is attacking him#because if he successfully defends himself he looks like an asshole; and if he fails he looks like a wimp#It is the reason women vastly underestimate and devalue their physical strength and resourcefulness as a tool#because men are the strong resourceful ones because it’s “in their biology”#Even though I am androgynous and would possibly love to be on testosterone#I don’t need testosterone or a man’s body to pull off great feats of strength and cunning and neither do you#Ladies! Build some determination: “I CAN do it and it WILL work because I fucking say so.”#Get angry. Mess your hair up. Break a nail. You are a durable physical beast put on this earth for more than looking pretty#You are meant to break a sweat. You are meant to do things that aren’t “ladylike” because women are STRONG. Physically#Men you are not less manly for enjoying housework; and ladies you are not less feminine for enjoying outdoor labor#Crush gender norms. Vive la résistance!
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a-dash-in-the-middle · 3 months ago
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majstori ne pomažu nego odmažu
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pinolitas · 6 months ago
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I saw a post about some app which most likely uses ai to turn classics/harder to read literature into plain language and I just wanna say no fear Shakespeare was the OG and saved my life in English class because I DO want to do the reading and participate but it's just not possible if they speak in a way I genuinely don't understand
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ahmedbm · 2 months ago
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📍🚨please don't skip that 🚨📍📢
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #275 )✅️
Hello dear friends and potential saviors. My name is Ahmed Totah, I am 21 years old, my father is 67, my mother is 55, and my sister is 19 and my brothers Mahmoud 26 and Abdallah 24 and My grandfather is crippled and can't do anythingWho is 91 years old . We now live in the northern Gaza Strip.
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Since the beginning of October 7, 2023, and now we are more than 12 months into the war, my family and I have lived a life of relentless violence and suffering after being displaced from our home, more than 10 to 11 times. We have been displaced to schools and relatives, and we are currently living without shelter, and we suffer from food shortages that have forced us to eat animal and bird food due to high prices. Winter has come and we have no blankets or shoes to warm my family. I want you to help me provide for my family's needs and protect them from the bitter cold in winter, and the harsh mud that floods our lives under the rain.
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And our suffering in transporting water for drinking, and when it is provided, it is not pure. Diseases, especially rashes, epidemics and pollution, are spreading, while we struggle to survive without proper food, water or medicine. There is no place for anyone, especially children, but
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And when it is provided, flour is hardly available through aid (trucks - bershtat) and one day my foot was run over by a truck because of an attack by people and this is because of the lack of flour.
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This is all we have. Before the war destroyed our lives, I had just moved to my home in northern Gaza. It was supposed to be a moment of joy, but our happiness was short-lived. On October 7, everything changed. The day started like any other, but soon the sky darkened with smoke, the ground trembled beneath our feet, and the air was filled with the sounds of terrifying explosions. The bombing was continuous, and my family gathered together, praying that we would survive. When the dust settled, nothing was the same. The bombs continued to fall. Every day, my family and I in Gaza wake up to a living nightmare, in a race against time as the war strips us of any sense of peace and normalcy.
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My father and mother kept the key to their house in the hope that they would return to it. My father was shocked by the news of the bombing and explosion of our house that held our memories. Here, our dreams of home were displaced and everything was destroyed.
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Our lives are in constant danger, and we are desperate to find a way out - a chance to protect my family and rebuild our future safely. But we cannot do it alone. We need your help to escape this nightmare and start over abroad. My profession before and after the war Before the war, I was proud of my work, I studied Hakim at Al-Aqsa University and built a future for myself and my family. I had a thriving career and a home that I worked hard to establish. But everything disappeared during the war. After the war now, everything has disappeared. My work, my tools, and everything I worked for turned into rubble. The war took everything from us, and now my family lives in a tent, and we struggle to survive. We live in fear, trapped in war, everything we had disappeared one day. Our home is destroyed, our community is in ruins, and the constant sounds of explosions remind us that there is no safe place.
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My family and I are trapped in Gaza, living in fear and panic as the bombs fall closer and closer. Every night, the walls shake, and we wonder if we can make it until morning. We have lost everything, and we know that our only chance of survival is to escape this war-torn land. But we can’t do it without your help. Please help my family, my friend. The money raised will go directly to cover the costs of my evacuation and that of my family. This includes:
1. Travel expenses – fare, documents, transportation for me and my family.
2. Temporary shelter – a safe place where we can rest, recover, and begin to rebuild.
3. Basic necessities – food, clothing, and medical care upon arrival.
4. Support to rebuild our lives – access to education, healthcare, and job opportunities in a new country.
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My family is made up of 7 people, and we know that we will need $10,000 per person to cover these critical expenses. Why your help matters Can your support make the difference between life and death for my family? Every donation brings us one step closer to leaving the devastation and fear behind, and starting over in a place where we can finally find peace. We cannot do this alone, but through your kindness, we can give our family a chance to live – a chance to rebuild, to dream, and to live without fear. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for being a part of our journey toward safety and hope. Please help my family escape death and the danger of life. Please help my family.
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That's why I'm begging you to share my story and post the link to help my family survive.
#Free Palestine #Free Gaza #All eyes on Palestine #All eyes on Gaza #The war in Gaza @asexual-levia-tan @timetravellingkitty @deathlonging @briarhips @mazzikah @mahoushojoe @sar-soor @rhubarbspring @pcktknife @transmutationdice @sawasawako @appsa @anneemay @commissions4aid-international @wellwaterhysteria @mangocheesecakes @kyra45-helping-others @turtletoria @tortiefrancis @ot3 @amygdalae @ankle-beez @communistchameleon @dykesbat @komsomolka @notallmensheviks @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @heritageposts @stuckinapril @lacecap @determinate-negation @deepspaceboytoy @paper-mario-wiki @kibumkim @neechees @chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli @sayruq @rooh-afza @shesnake @emil @stuckinapril @side-sidecast @brokenbackmountain @paper-mario-wiki @turian @buttercuparry @littlegermanboy @imjustheretotrytohelp @90-ghost @heritageposts @gazavetters @neechees @butchniqabi @fluoresensitive @khanger @autisticmudkip @beserkerjewel @furiousfinnstan @xinakwans @batekush @appsa @nerdyqueerr @butchsunsetshimmer @biconicfinn @stopmotionguy @willgrahamscock @strangeauthor @bryoria @shesnake @legallybrunettedotcom @lautakwah @sovietunion @evillesbianvillain @antibioware @akajustmerry @dizzymoods @ree-duh @neptunerings @explosionshark @dlxxv-vetted-donations @vague-humanoid @buttercuparry @sayruq @malcriada @sar-soor @northgazaupdates2 @feluka @dirhwangdaseul @jdon @ibtisams @sawasawako @memingursa @schoolhater @toesuckingoctober @waskuyecaozu @a-shade-of-blue @c-u-c-koo-4-40k
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i got my mother to take me to a gynaecologist for the absolute agony that has been period pain and i kept trying to talk about the period pain but this doctor would not stop bringing up my pcod, and not even to discuss the pain, all she seemed to care about was a regular flow and my weight. i get that that is important but can you listen to me and not make the entire reason for this visit just a footnote instead? it gets difficult for me to have faith in healthcare workers everytime i interact with them, especially in the case of reproductive health and mental health. done.
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augustinewrites · 6 months ago
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just alhaitham realizing he wants a baby with you... cw: pregnancy, children
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alhaitham is in the middle of reading, spending his lunch hour tucked away in a quiet corner puspa cafe when he feels a poke at his arm.
he slides his headphones off, looking over to see a child standing next to him, clutching something to her chest. 
“excuse me– mister scribe sir?”  
the scribe sighs, tucking his book away. “just alhaitham is fine.”
the child blushes furiously. “oh, um, mister alhaitham sir, my teacher says that your job is reading. could you read this for me please?” 
that was an incredibly juvenile description of his job, but he doesn't correct her. the girl slides what alhaitham recognizes as the children’s book that tighnari had written (and collei had illustrated) to teach the basics of forest safety. the storytelling was mediocre and the illustrations were average, but he supposed they were sufficient enough for children who had no higher education.
alhaitham glances at the clock. he still has a half hour left of his break, and he was nothing if not an advocate for educating young minds.
“the lesson is to always be prepared when traveling through the rainforest,” alhaitham explains, closing the book. “there’s always a high probability that you’ll run into fungi, especially if you're on foot like little cyno was. you’d do well to add a variety of antitoxins to your first aid kit.”
the girl considers this, brows pulled into a furrow as she sips at the sunsettia juice he’d ordered for her. 
“why didn’t little cyno just go around the fungi when he saw them? then he wouldn't have gotten the sports.”
“the spores,” alhaitham corrects. “but your point stands. common sense is perhaps the most effective survival tool.” 
children, with their inquisitive and imaginative minds, were adequate problem solvers. they didn't overthink things, instead utilizing a simple, pragmatic way of thinking. 
he wouldn't mind raising a little scholar of his own with you. 
he’d thought a normal amount about having a child before. typical musings, like when he would have one (after school, after securing a decent job). or what their names would be (esfir for a boy, laila for a girl). who would bear his children (the only person he’d ever considered was you).
but these aren’t idle musings anymore. this time, the idea hits him full force, quickly spiraling into a hope. a dream for the future. 
a boy with his eyes and your smile. a girl with your hair colour and his nose. how you’d raise them together, how they’d grow to be intelligent, inquisitive, creative, and endlessly compassionate.  
“sweetheart, there you are!” a relieved voice exclaims. 
the girl sitting across from him perks up as her mother runs up to the table, her smile widening. “mama! mister alhaitham read me a book!”
“i'm so sorry she interrupted your lunch, sir,” the frantic mother looks sheepish as she apologizes, but alhaitham dismisses it with a wave of his hand. 
“it’s alright. if anything, this experience has been rather enlightening.” 
_____
“that's quite the stack,” you comment mildly when your husband enters the bedroom with an armful of textbooks. “which new topic have you been intrigued with this week?”
alhaitham sets the books down on the nightstand and answers, “conception.”
his answer is spoken simply, casually, like he’s talking about the weather and not one of the most life-altering decisions you could make as a couple. 
“conception,” you repeat slowly. “like…”
“you’re a doctor. you’re aware of the biological process behind it.” 
“of course i am,” you say, suddenly feeling flustered. “i just– we’ve never talked about this before, haitham.”
your husband sighs, walking around to your side of the bed and sitting by your legs. “well…i want to talk about it.” 
seconds pass. seconds that almost feel like a lifetime as you watch each other, looking for any unspoken signs of hesitation.
“it’s up to you,” he finally says, gently placing a hand on your ankle. “it’s your body, you’re the one who would be carrying our baby for nine months. if you’re not ready–”
you don't need to hear the rest, crawling over to cup his face in your hands and press a soft kiss to his lips. “i'm ready. we’re ready.” 
his eyes immediately brighten, and he momentarily leaves your grasp to reach across the bed to grab the topmost book from his stack. “there are certain positions that we can try to increase our chances of conceiving. according to studies conducted in fontaine, this one has an effectiveness of 89.5%. it’s called a mating press…”
you wish you could say it’s the first time he’s propositioned you with educational literature. 
“wait, you didn’t ask me,” you giggle, threading your fingers through his hair and tugging lightly. 
he pauses. “will you try this position with me?”
“no, smartass. ask me to have a baby with you.”
your husband grins, hooking his hands under your ass to pull you into his lap. you gasp as he does so, his head dipping down to the crook of your neck. he says your name, lips brushing the shell of your ear.
“will you let me put a baby in you, dearest?”
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beeseverywhen · 2 years ago
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I need amazon to understand that if you just show me random items when I've run a search, cause you'd rather sell me something different I will not be buying anything. I will just leave your website.
Don't test me I'm ready to rage quit at any time. I don't want to be here. The only thing you had going for you was convenience. If you can't give me that I will just go without whatever heavy/unavailable in any shop on the bus route item until I can ask someone to go to the shop for me.
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entitled-fangirl · 6 months ago
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You’re a Stark now.
Cregan Stark x reader
Summary: Cregan and the reader take a trip to the market to spend time away from the Winterfell walls. One vendor gets too aggressive.
Warnings: extra protective Cregan, anger, talk of harsh punishments
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…………………………………….
Cregan had woken his still newly-wedded wife to the question of if she would accompany him out of the Winterfell walls.
Any time with him was welcomed by her. He was very busy as the Warden that any moment was precious.
She quickly rose and began to get ready, biting her lip when she still couldn’t retrieve her Stark pin for her cloak. Now three days without, and she’d have to tell him.
But that’s a problem for later.
“This is lovely,” Lady Stark commented to the merchant as she neared the small table.
Cregan had disappeared to the blacksmith, trusting her under her guards gaze until he returned.
Her finger grazed over the top of one of the handmade arrows before the merchant’s voice chipped up, “careful.”
She jumped a bit, created the smallest of nicks on her finger, but it still oozed blood just the same.
The man huffed, “Can’t ya read the damn sign?”
She looked up with wide eyes to the sign that laid on one of the tables. Her eyes scanned it, but it made no sense to her. Now was not the time to admit to her people that she couldn’t read the common tongue. Her cheeks flushed red, “my sincerest apologies. I meant no harm.”
“Whatever, girl.” He huffed lightly.
She turned back to look at her guard, Ser Martin. He always stayed far enough for her to enjoy herself, but not too far as to not intervene when needed. But he hardly moved when words were said. Only when actions took place. She liked that about him.
She frowned slightly and moved to the merchant’s next table. Atop it laid a tool she had never seen before. A small mallet of some sort and a rather large spike. Multiples of them laid out for sale, and she couldn’t think of a reason to need such a thing. Fearing another scoff, she asked, “What are these exactly?”
The man felt the need to roll his eyes and he laughed mockingly, “What are these?! You can’t be serious!”
Her cheeks couldn’t be more red, “I… I am not Northern. I do not… I do not know much of it, I am afraid.”
The man sneered, “You stupid girl. I wager you’ll freeze your little arse off before winter even comes.”
She felt her eyes water but she held it back. She couldn’t stay there any longer.
She distracted herself at the booth a few down, where a young woman sold seeds and dried petals of various flowers. She chatted with the woman for a while, even making a friend of her.
She helped the Lady of Winterfell pick petals to scent her chambers with and seeds to grow said flowers in the window of her chambers, swearing that they lived through the cold.
She thanked the woman kindly before turning around, directly into a broad chest.
When she felt a familiar hand around her waist and chuckle, she relaxed into Cregan.
He bent down to her ear with a low voice, “have you enjoyed yourself?”
She looked to him and nodded lightly, “I… I have.”
He smirked just barely, “Ser Martin tells me you have made many friends.”
“I suppose I have,” she answers truthfully.
“I have finished my business at the smith. Are you ready to journey back, or is there still things you must see?” His hand began to trace up and down her back through the cloak.
“I am at your whim, Cregan.”
His other hand came up to her chin, “Let us lazily return then. I’m afraid I have not had the chance to make friends as you have.”
She nodded and pulled away, “I’d like that.”
The two journeyed back ever so slowly with interlinked arms, pointing to each table with their favorite oddities on it, even stopping at a few now that Cregan had become interested.
Cregan seemed entirely fixed chatting with a vendor about maces when her eyes wandered a bit up the road.
She pulled on his sleeve with a soft voice, “Cregan.”
He immediately gave his attention to her and bent down to her and spoke softly, “yes, my love?”
She furrowed her brows, “I was curious about something I saw earlier. Can… can you tell me what it is?”
His brows furrowed in turn, “I suppose I can. Where did you see it?”
She pointed up the road to a few tables down.
He nodded and looked back to her, “Go ahead and I’ll meet you there. Let me finish here, sweet girl.”
She let go of his sleeve and bowed her head lightly to the vendor in an apology of the interruption.
She quickly made her way up the road to the same vendor that had been so rude to her earlier, but she hoped Cregan’s eventual presence would help ease the tension. She wanted so desperately to understand the tool she had seen.
But the man’s eyes were already set on her.
He immediately moved out into the street to meet her halfway, “Go on, girl. Take your pretty fur coat and go on! I’ve no business for you here.”
She paused in confusion. She really hadn’t thought she’d angered him that awfully. “I-“
“-ya what?” He stepped closer to her and reached out to touch her shoulder. “I won’t have no silly girl that-“
“-Touching my bride like that is an act of war, Bolton.” She didn’t need to see Cregan to know exactly what was happening. He was behind her with a tightly clenched jaw and a hand on the sword still held in its sheath.
The man immediately stopped all words from his mouth and seemed to be in a daze.
Cregan gave a vicious smile, “I would suggest you remove your hand from her before I remove it entirely from your body.”
The words registered and the man moved away as if he’d been burned, “My deepest apologies, my lord. I… I didn’t know…. She had no sigil on her cloak.”
She didn’t have the heart to turn to Cregan and see his reaction to her loss of pin.
Cregan’s hand wrapped around her from behind and pushed her backwards as he stepped around her. He now stood in front of her protectively. “And here I believed you wanted Stark patronage.” He scoffed, “If that is not the case, say so, rather than turning your Lady of Winterfell away in the streets.”
Only then did she looked around and take in the fact that everyone in the street was staring.
But Cregan couldn’t have cared less.
The man held his hands out, “Lord Stark, I am honored to have your patronage. I… I simply did not know. She…” he pointed to the woman tucked away safely behind Cregan, “She was being reckless-“
“-Reckless? How so?”
The man paled but knew he had to continue what he’d started. “She disobeyed the signs and… and then did not know what an ice pick was-“
“I don’t care if your Lady of Winterfell asks for your left eye, I expect you to take it from your socket gladly!” Cregan’s voice raised angrily, “and you’ve made her feel like a fool in her own lands!” His gripped on his sword tightened in deep thought, “Perhaps I should take your hand as payment.”
Her hand shoots out to Cregan’s back, a silent plea to not take things too far. He reacts to it almost immediately, relaxing himself with a deep sigh.
The man becomes hysterical, “Please! Please, my lord! I will do anything!”
“Cregan-“ her voice finally broke out.
He growled under his breath in thought before finally speaking again, “Apologize.”
The man looked up, “m…my lord?”
Cregan grunted, “Apologize.”
Bolton nodded, “I am most sincere in my apologies, my lord. I was wrong. So painfully wrong-“
“Beg for it.” Cregan growled.
The vendor paused for a moment before he dropped to his knees shamefully, “I will do anything. I am sorry-“
“And not to me.” Cregan grunted again. His arm moved behind her to pull his bride from behind him to now directly in front of him. He pulled her tightly to him, her back against his firm chest. He bent his head down to the side of her head, his voice low and dangerous, “to her.”
She was at a complete loss for words. She knew Cregan was gruff and demanding, honorable and proud, but she had never seen him so angered. He looked like a wolf ready to devour anything that stepped too close.
And all for her.
The man pleaded and whined and begged for her forgiveness immediately and she nodded. Cregan gave a light “tsk” in her ear before speaking softly to her, “make him work for it.”
She turned her head to him in confusion.
He spoke again, “you’re accepting because you feel empathetic. What do you want him to do for you to truly earn your forgiveness?” When she doesn’t answer he chips in, “It’s hard to earn, and rightfully so. Especially from a sweet girl like you.”
“I don’t want anything,” she finally says.
Cregan’s smirk returns, “that’s why you’re mine.”
He straights up to address the man, “Your lady has forgiven you, and so has Winterfell now.” He looks to the crowd and back to the man with a light sneer, “and Bolton? Thank the gods tonight that she is so forgiving.”
He immediately pulls her along with him, not bothering to stop at anything else after the scene they had caused.
His anger was still too great to be out in society and he needed something to take it out on.
The horse ride back was tense and awkward. She knew he wasn’t angry with her, but she wasn’t sure what to say or how to fix it, and so she didn’t.
The two even separated once inside Winterfell. She went to their chambers and Cregan went immediately to the training yard.
She watched from the balcony for a while. He beat away at a dummy with a wooden sword, clearly in an unapproachable state.
Supper was equally quiet. The two stared at each other from across the table.
Finally, Cregan spoke, “How are you so easily pleased?”
She tilted her head, “I’m sorry?”
“Earlier. You forgave him so easily.”
“Well, he was sorry.”
“Not enough,” Cregan continued. “I would have made him do far worse”
“It was not worth-“
“-Do not tell me what it was worth, love!” He slammed his fist down. “If he had embarrassed me, I would have taken his tongue. But he didn’t. He did it to you.” His voice turned to iron, “I should have made him worship the ground you stand on.”
“Cregan, I hold no grudge over it.”
“There it is again,” he almost laughed in frustration. “You are too kind, my love.”
“The only frustration I hold over it now is towards you.”
His brows raise, “Me?”
She sat her glass down on the table, “You are the only one still in flames about it. I wanted to enjoy a day out of Winterfell with you.”
He took that like a hit. He clenched his jaw and sighed, calming himself. “You’re right. I’ve been too hard on you. On everyone. Let me try again today?”
She knew she could never hold a grudge against him, “of course.”
He smiled at her, “Thank you.”
The silence grew into a comfortable one now and she was the one to break it. “I have a confession.”
He looked up to her as he ate, “oh?”
“It is rather embarrassing and I do not wish for you to be upset with me.”
“I am never upset with you,” he quickly countered. “Out with it.”
She sat straighter in her chair, “I lost the sigil you gave me. The one for my cloak.”
Silence grew.
She tried to reason, “I’ve misplaced it. I promise I shall find it again. I shouldn’t have set it down and I am most sorry-“
She stopped when she heard his light chuckles from across the table. “What? Why do you mock me?”
He quickly held a hand out and collected himself, “I do not mock you, sweet girl. I’m simply surprised it took you so long to tell me.”
She stuttered, “I didn’t… I wasn’t…”
Cregan looked up to one of the servants, “Bring the new one for me, will you?”
The Lady of Winterfell simply stared in embarrassed confusion.
So, Cregan began to explain, “When I wedded you, beautiful, I did not have time to have a pin of your own crafted for your cloak, so I gave you one of mine temporarily.”
She nodded, trying to see where he was going with the story.
“That is why I was at the black smith today. They’ve created all my best ones and I only thought it fair that you deserve the best. I took the one you had been wearing to them to be replicated. They managed to finish it today and I retrieved it.”
“That is why we were out today?” She asked.
He smiled, “entirely. That and I suppose…” he tilted his head back and forth, “when the North manages to see the sun, I like to see you in it.”
She grew a smile.
The servant returned with a cloth in hand, setting it on the table next to Y/n.
The woman took it and unwrapped it, revealing the finely decorated pin for her cloak.
Her eyes widened and she smiled, “Cregan, this is quite beautiful, but I loved yours all the same.”
He chuckled, “I know that, pretty, but you deserve your own. You are a Stark now.”
Her eyes met his dark ones, “that I am.”
………………………………….
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