#i am so unbelievably angry and exhausted

[rainbowcolored7]

Less than half reblog to like ratio

NFT bros

Bots just looking for your personal info

Ai

All things I have encountered in the past two weeks regarding my art and commissions. I refuse to let it get me down but I am sick and fucking tired. Please, I am begging, support your artists in any way you can cause it's like being fucking Sisyphus out here. This goes for writers as well.

[tommydarlings]

take what’s yours and leave | t.w

pairing: toto wolff x reader

warnings: none

w/c: 0.8k

summary: after having another one of your infamous arguments with toto, you can’t take it anymore and tell him to take what’s his and leave, but you didn’t think that he would take your order that serious.

check this out: my masterlist <3 // my ko-fi to support me! <3 // my PayPal to support me! <3 // my Patreon to become a member! (get access to +65 works) // Save a Life carrd made by me! <3

You were fighting with toto… again.

The two of you were fighting regularly, always raising voices and walking away from each other and then back into each others arms again, this time it was different though.

He rolled the sleeves of his white dress shirt up and scoffed after you finished scolding him like a child, rolling his eyes at your behaviour, “Y/n, my love-”

“Don’t 'my love' me now, toto! I told you so many times already that you should give me a call or send me a quick message if you have to stay longer at the office at Mercedes! But every single damn time you just 'forget it' and let me sit here at home all alone and annoyed!” You spat up at the tall austrian.

Toto sighed and put his hands on his hips as he looked down at your angry figure, “I know, I know and I’m s-”

“Yeah, yeah you’re sorry, I know… I’ve heard this words a lot from you lately, toto,” you shook your head with a scoff, taking a few steps back from him, “I’m fucking tired of it, toto, I really am… you’re a grown man and you can’t manage to save some hours of your day for me…that’s sad if you ask me,” you shrugged.

Your older boyfriend ran his hands over his face, brushing his shirt hair back in the process, “baby, I know how fed up you are, but-”

“Then why do you keep-”

“Let me finish my sentence for once, okay?” He raised his voice a bit, making you gulp and look at the floor before he continued,

“But work is also very important to me, which doesn’t mean that you’re not important to me! Or that you’re less important! But I have responsibilities, my love, lots of tiring responsibilities that I need to take care of,” he told you in a calmer tone.

You cleared your throat and looked back up at him, “Then don’t be in a relationship if you’re work is exhausting,” you said angrily, still not being able to calm down.

Toto rolled his eyes and briefly let his head hung low at your comment, “You’re lack of understanding my work life is really unbelievable, isn’t it?” He looked at you from across the kitchen.

You chuckled and bit your lip, “my lack of understanding your work life?” You shook your head, “oh you got some balls, baby! I think your lack of acknowledging our relationship and the fact that you have something — or actually, someone, besides your stupid work life is unbelievably! No, it’s embarrassing!” You raised your voice as well and kept eye contact with your tall boyfriend.

Toto bit his inner cheek and shook his head, looking at the wall with crossed arms before he took a deep breath, “Now you’re speechless, huh? Because you know I’m right,” you added quickly.

The former racing driver raised his head and looked at you, “You know what?” You swiftly walked over to the modern door of your million dollar mansion and opened it, “take what’s yours and leave!”

You were furious, your blood was more than just boiling, you were really sick of him.

Toto scoffed again and bit his lip before a smirk made its way onto his face, making you furrow your browns in confusion.

Before you could even say anything, toto took long and quick steps towards you and swiftly picked you up, throwing you carelessly over his broad shoulder in a swift motion, giving you no time to protest.

You gasped and placed your palms onto his muscular back, “Toto, no! Let me down, what are you doing?” You asked him as his big, veiny hands squeezed your thighs,

“I'm doing what you told me to do, I'm taking what’s mine,” he told you calmly with — most probably — a cheeky smirk on his lips, making you almost — but only almost — laugh.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes before you let your head hung low, “Toto… you know that’s not what I meant, now let me down!” You continued protesting.

Your boyfriend only turned around and walked back to the kitchen, his big hand tightly holding the back of your thighs so you don’t fall.

He chuckled deeply, “what did you say, beautiful? I can’t hear you from back there,” the Austria joked wickedly, forcing you to roll your eyes once again.

“I said-”

But before you could repeat your sentence, toto swiftly threw your off of his broad shoulder and put you right in front of the countertop, making your back lean against it as he slowly placed bit of his palms on the countertop next to your hips, intimidatingly leaning in,

“What did you say? I’m sorry that I interrupted you, sweetheart… now you can go on,” he mumbled quietly, waiting for you to speak up.

But you only gulped as you looked io at him with big eyes, gently shaking your head, “N-No, everything’s fine,” you said softly.

“Are you sure, baby? Nothing you wanna say to me?” Toto continued whispering to you, leaning in a bit closer so that your nose was almost brushing his.

“N-Nope,” you replied almost nervously since he was so close.

He smirked before he took a step away from you again, “alright, if you say so, mein liebes,” my love.

[owlf45]

by the way. i think everyone should follow @echoekhi, the founder of Project Copy-Knight. I'm sure many of you have seen the post already, but I wanted to share it again.

they're a brilliant coder who has developed resources that automatically update fic authors about their works getting stolen. recently youtubers have been trying to get around automatic checkers by inputting works through an AI that slightly rephrases the content (hence my ballsy comment, imaginary has been uploaded twice with each sentence of my work slightly rephrased). however, echoekhi has been working along with a very diligent team to manually check videos and alert authors.

let that sink in. i know a lot of people have let it fade into the background, but even now they keep working and are constantly troubleshooting. they're fucking amazing.

i literally cannot thank them enough. it's a little selfish to say, but now i don't exist day to day with this terrible dread that dozens of videos of my works exist without my knowledge, and that I'm the sole person tracking them down— because they have my backs.

they deserve endless thanks and more, and you should definitely follow them. they also have a post here that talks about the project and how you can help.

youtube stealers are getting a little ballsy

[scorpioriesling]

I (Almost) Don't Believe You

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Brennan x reader

Warnings: mutual pining, tiny mention of injury

Summary: It was already bad enough to find out your father and brother invaded your best friend's privacy; but sending you on a mission where it nearly killed her? Unbelieveable. What else is unbelieveable? The boy you'd fallen for so long ago would only be waiting for you on the other side...

SR’s Note: Um okay, as I am progressing through Iron Flame rn... like, Brennan is... ooh okay I am liking him quite a bit. He's helping ease the pain of loosing Liam (': Jokes, jokes... I don't think I'll ever get over that reality. Enjoy, lovelies.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

The hours you'd been counting seemed to blur together as exhaustion weighed heavily on your shoulders. Was it exhaustion? Maybe it was just guilt. After everything you'd seen and gone through today, differentiating the two was... well, near impossible.

Your dragon has been all but silent, giving you time as thoughts race through your mind. Would your best friend wake up? If she didn't, the male sitting to your left would be all but gone too. A male you've come around to, especially seeing the way your closest friend reacts in his presence.

Gods, you wished for something like that.

Violet stirrs, her brow furrowing and shoulders moving on the cot where she lay. Both you and Xaden lean forward instinctively at the same time, and he huffs a small laugh as he glances sidelong at you. The two of you haven't spoken much since the arrival, and you're sure his mind is racing just as yours is.

"Vi... I hope you wake soon, you have people who've been waiting forever to see you," Xaden whispers. Your heart warms at his words -- long gone is the fearsome Wingleader you'd met only a year ago, and his familiar warmth is graciously returned in Violet's presence. She rolls to her side, eyes squeezing closed as she lets out a wide yawn. Xaden is on his feet in an instant -- you're quick to follow, flanking to her bedside.

"Violet?" You whisper. Xaden extends his hand, brushing hair from her face as she slowly blinks her eyes open. You can practically count the emotions swirling in her green eyes -- the one she registers and lands on quickly though, is confusion.

"Xaden... Y/N..." She pushes to a sitting position, Xaden clutching her shoulders and helping her readjust. She rubs her eyes with the back of her hand, and looks around the room in confusion.

"Where... what is this?" She asks. Xaden sighs, hanging his head low. Her eyes meet yours in silent question, and you shrug. "Hey, I could ask the same thing. The more important thing right now is that you're awake..." You say.

"Awake and healing quickly," Xaden adds. His fingers have threaded through hers, and her confusion quickly turns to anger.

"Don't... don't think I've forgotten-" She yanks up the side of her shirt, revealing a dull purple bruise on her side. Angry black veins thread from the injury, and her gaze flicks back to Xaden.

"I haven't forgotten." Is all she says, and you feel sorry for Xaden. Sure; you're grateful your spitfire of a best friend is alive and well, but her gaze could cut right through him.

"I know." Is all he says, so hushed that you barely hear it. You nod once, and begin backing away from the bed.

"I'll... leave you guys for a while." You say. Xaden nods, and Violet shoots you a pleading glance. You can see her asking you not to leave her alone with him, but you know they have a lot to talk about.

You decide instead to head down the hallway outside the door, finding a kitchen shortly along your way. If you were going to give your friends space, you might as well do something productive. A million thoughts raced through your mind; where were you? Where were the others? How far from Basgiath were you? Not to mention the millions of thoughts plaguing your brain about your father, your brother; knowing what they were sending not only this section, but their own family into...

You shake your head. Productive. Rifling through the foreign cabinets, you look for something to make.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

The afternoon sun is dipped low beyond the horizon, painting the sky in streaks of violet and navy as night falls. It didn't take long for the others to find you -- perhaps it was the smell of the dinner you'd scraped together that drew them in.

The first two days, Garrick or Bodhi were sent out to retrieve food for the group, and you decided by day three that you should lend a hand. After all, you'd been shown many house-chores like this over the years; your father never expected you to become a rider rather than a housewife, that is. Neither did your brother, and you knew he didn't like it one bit.

Your older brother Dain had always been protective over you; but his overprotection only intensified when your best friend's brother died, and he practically treated the two of you as though you were made of glass. When you'd braced the parapet, he looked ready to hurl, never expecting his little sister (or her fearless best friend, for that matter) to dare entering the rider's quadrant.

But, your appreciation for his overprotection died the moment he used his signet to send your section to certain death. Not only did he send you, his only sibling; but the girl he'd oogled over, swore so many times he loved with all of his heart, right along with you.

It didn't matter now. Everything was different.

"I don't know how you did it," Garrick smiles, sitting on the bench seat near the small dining table in the kitchen. "But you've got some skill, Y/N. I mean seriously, who scrounges all this up in a place they've never been, and produces such a delicious meal?" He shakes his head, shoveling a huge bite of stew into his mouth. You smile as Imogene makes her way into the space.

"Gods, I could simply kiss you for this," Bodhi follows her in, snatching up a bowl and waiting behind Imogene for his turn to scoop from the pot. You chuckle.

"You mean to tell me that you don't enjoy going out and hoping to return with food for us all?" You raise an eyebrow playfully, and before he can answer, Violet enters the kitchen. You instinctively make your way to her, and her pained smile emerges as she pulls you in for a light hug.

"How are you feeling?" Imogene chides, perching in a chair across from Garrick and looking Violet over. You let go of her, and she glances around to everyone.

"I'm... I'll be alright." She says, and you nod. Her eyes meet yours, and she quickly whispers, "We need to talk."

Your eyes widen, and you glance to the stove where the awaiting pot sits. "Violet, you haven't eaten in days-"

"It can wait." She rushes, taking hold of your wrist and all but dragging you into the hallway and out of earshot from the others. You glance around, and she sighs.

"Violet, I know you have questions; I mean, so do I, but-"

"Brennan is alive." She stares straight into your eyes, and a wave of adrenaline rushes over you at her words.

"Violet, what are you-"

"He's alive. He's here. Brennan. He's..." She fumbles, her hands clasping and releasing frantically. You place a hand on her shoulder lightly. "He's alive, Y/N." She says in finality. You shake your head, a small smile appearing on your lips.

"Violet, you might be thinking some wild things, they did give you a lot of medicine-" She grasps both of your shoulders with her hands, holding tight and giving you an incredulous look.

"Would I lie about something like this?" She whisper shouts. You furrow your brows at her.

"No! Gods no, I don't think you're lying, I just..." You shrug defeatedly. "He's been dead for six years, Vi. The last time we spoke of him..." Your throat tightens at the memory. "His soul was being condemned to Malek." The way the fire sparked as his belongings were thrown in. The way Violet cried for weeks, you sleeping in her room with her for sheer comfort. The way your heart tightened every time you thought of the way he used to look at you; his soft voice, so contrasted against his mother's uniformed nature. The way he'd lend you his books, sitting and talking with you for hours on end...

"Fine. Go see for yourself." She gestures down the hallway, the countless doors fading to dark as it stretched on. "Fifth door on the left. He's probably still in there." She says. You sigh, looking to her once more.

"Violet-"

"I'm going in to eat." She walks through the kitchen entryway once more, leaving you alone in the hallway. You sigh, wiping your clammy hands on your pants. You head down the hallway, counting the doors as you go. One, two, three... four...

You stood, face-to-face with the fifth wooden door, the only sound this far down the hall was your ragged breaths. You swallowed, raking your fingers through your hair as you remembered you'd been wearing the same, disgusting leathers for three days. If he really was on the other side of this door, you hated that the first thing he'd see of you in six years was... well, not your favorite look.

You knock softly, and the door creaks open. You hastily shove it open, breath catching as you peered around the room. The empty room, that is. Moving inside, you took in various things; tons of papers, many books, quills and ink pots upon the desk-

Your breath catches in your throat as you spot a tome that you'd recognized. It was one Brennan gave to you all those years ago, when you were nothing but a teenager with a crush. Your heart still fluttered at the feeling, the ache in your heart as fresh as it was the day he died.

You huff, not sure why you expected anything but this. VIolet was on many remedies, and there was no world in which a man that had died would come back to life, no matter how convincing your best friend sounded.

A small knock sounds on the door behind you, and your head whips around from the papers you'd begun staring at. Your heart immediately seizes as your eyes meet those familiar brown irises you'd longed for, for so, so long.

"Y/N?" Brennan whispers, and you can't help the immediate sting of tears behind your pupils as you look him up and down. It felt surreal; his cream-colored button down is only buttoned up half way; his fitted trousers outlining every muscle along his masculine legs. Your hand flies to your mouth as you gasp, the words choked behind a sob rising in your throat.

"Brennan?" You stutter, and his eyes widen as he immediately surpasses the door way. You don't stop yourself from stepping quickly toward him, throwing your arms around his neck as a soft cry escapes your lips. He was real. He was really real, he had to be. The ends of his brown curls, longer now than when you'd seen him last, tickle your forarms as you pull him close. His arms wrap tightly around your waist, lifting you on to your tip toes as he stands at his full height.

You can't contain the tears flowing from your eyes as you breathe him in deep; his familiar scent of cedar and cotton bringing you back to all of those special moments you'd shared before; sitting close, sharing stories and thoughts. All of those almosts.

Before he …died, anyway.

You pull back to look up at him, but he doesn't release you. Instead, his fingers card through your hair, stroking lovingly as he continues his embrace. You shake slightly, allowing every emotion taking over your mind to run free. You never thought you'd see, feel him again. All of your greif receeding as you accept the reality that you had only ever dreamed of.

"Y/N I'm... I'm so sorry." He whispers. You cry harder, only wishing he'd keep talking and convincing you this was real. But, you forced yourself to believe it was; the boy you loved, now in front of you once more, holding you, physically touching you-

"Gods, I missed you so much." You retreated from his hold, his hands still braced on your hips as your watery eyes bore into his. Taking him in, you realized he was different. Older. No more was the boy you'd been in love with six years ago; now before you, was a man. A handsome one, nonetheless.

"I... I don't..." you stutter, and a small smile braces his lips as his soft hands brush the few stray tears from your cheeks. "I... I don't know what to say." You admit, and his thumb brushes along your cheekbone.

"Well... at least you're saying something," he says, chuckling softly. The sound is like music to your ears, a sound you hadn't heard in so long. "I was afraid Violet would shread me with one of her daggers when I tried talking to her." You swallow, your gaze drifting to his mouth as he spoke.

"I... I don't say I could blame her," you say softly, your eyes reconnecting with his as shame takes over his expression once more. He sighs, the hands on your waist falling as he takes a step back. You immediately wish he wouldn't have, already hoping to be back in his embrace as soon as you could.

"Look, Y/N, I..." his eyes peer at the wall above you, as he seems to contemplate his words. "I never meant to hurt anyone, alright? I had to do it because-" You step forward, taking his hand in yours. You stare up at him longingly, shaking your head that this was all truly real.

"You can explain it all later," you say, and his mouth closes. You can't help but take in the familiar slant of his nose, his more defined jawline, the golden planes of his skin...

"You can't keep staring at me like that, Aetos." His voice has dropped so low it’s almost gravelly, as his gaze darkens upon glancing toward your mouth. You grin, your deft fingers unlacing his and moving to slide thorugh the mass of curls on his head softly.

"I'm just... I'm really, really happy you're okay." You whisper. His hands slide around you, finding purchase along the small of your back. You suck in a breath as he pulls you against him once more, and you spot the tears pooling along his waterline at your words.

"I thought you'd hate me," he whispers, his breath a gentle caress down the slope of your nose. His perfect lips, ones you'd pined over for years were so, so close. So... real. His chest lets out uneven breaths pushed up against yours, and your nerves threaten to eat you alive as you raise to your tippy toes once more to be eye-level with him.

"I don't think I could ever hate you, Brennan." He smiles, the motion only growing as your eyes search his once more. His perfect teeth are still the same; the sparkle in his eye, the way he chuckles softly. It's as if you're transported back in time.

"I didn't think I could love you more than I did the last day I saw you." A single tear slips, and your quick to catch it with your finger. As you retract your hand, his fingers are quick to curl around yours, holding your hands against his heart. Your brows knit in confusion as you lower your heels, but his grasp on you does not falter.

"You're..." you start. His hand caresses your cheek, guiding you as close to his lips as you could get without touching. Your heartbeat races as his thumb traces soft circles on the back of your hand pressed to his heart. His heartbeat picks up at the closeness, and you can't help but smile. Whether its anxiety, fear, pure love... you've never been quite the expert at sorting out your feelings anyway.

"I'm …what?" He whispers, and you can't stand it any longer. You lean up, pressing a hesitant kiss to his lips. He stills, and you pull back, eyes as wide as his in shock.

"I'm so sorry, I-" He tugs you close again, your mouth colliding with his as he kisses you more forcefully. He keeps kissing you, both of his hands now cupping your face as yours grab onto the unbuttoned collar of his shirt. His lips part, allowing you access at your own pace; but you're quick to oblige, sliding your tongue along his bottom lip. A soft groan escapes his throat, and you inhale through your nose sharply at the sound. He's definitely more grown up than he was six years ago; more confident too. Gone was the shy, 19 year old who’d been deemed “too old” for you back then — now, he didn’t seem to mind the 5 year age gap now that you’d finally turned 20.

You continue indulging, before the strike of the clock from the hallway sounds. He doesn't seem to care as he explores your mouth; hands continuing their exploration, too. As the quiet overtakes the room once more, you finally pull back, gasping for air as he smirks down at you.

"I've waited… so long for that," he says, and your face heats. Little does he know, so have you. “Not coming back to find you, tell you I was alright was so hard, Y/N.” He leans back in for more, but you turn so his lips connect with your cheek instead.

"Oh, nuh uh," you hum. "You've got some explaining to do first before any of..." you motion between the two of you. "...this, continues." He rolls his eyes (glad to know he hasn't changed all that much), and backs up, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Okay, okay." He says. "I have to be in a meeting, uh..." He glances quickly at his watch. Your eyes track the movement; wishing his delicious fingers were holding you close again. "Uh, now, actually." He laughs sheepishly.

"Better get to it, then." You fold your arms over your chest, tilting your chin up in mock confidence. His hand slides along your jaw one more time, and he gazes down into your eyes.

"Later, we'll talk. I promise," he says. You continue your confident expression as his hand retreats, and he heads for the door, leaving it open behind him. You wait a few seconds before you follow behind him, but freeze as you enter the hallway and are met with a familiar stare you've come to know all too well. Leaning against the wall is your best friend, a smirk so similar to her brothers plastered on her face as she pins you with an accusatory look.

"I told you he'd be in there."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[stupidphototricks]

I still have a lot of leftover favorite quotes from Feet of Clay, I hope nobody minds.

People look down on stuff like geography and meteorology, not only because they're standing on one and being soaked by the other. They don't quite look like real science. But geography is only physics slowed down and with a few trees stuck on it, and meteorology is full of excitingly fashionable chaos and complexity. And summer isn't a time. It's a place as well. Summer is a moving creature and likes to go south for the winter. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

Just take a minute with this one. Geography is only physics slowed down and with a few trees stuck on it. Is it profound, or is it complete nonsense? I can't tell! Curse you Sir Terry (affectionate)

Constable Visit[-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets] spent his days in company with his co-religionist Smite-The-Unbeliever-With-Cunning-Arguments, ringing doorbells and causing people to hide behind the furniture everywhere in the city. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

(These names are genius)

"Guild member?" "Not any more, sir." "Oh? How did you leave the [alchemists'] guild?" "Through the roof, sir. But I'm pretty certain I know what I did wrong." -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

"Is dere any trouble?" he said. The crowd backed away. "None at all, officer," said Mr. Raddley. "You, er, just loomed suddenly, that's all..." "Dis is correct," said Detritus. "I am a loomer. It often happen suddenly. So dere's no trouble, den?" "No trouble whatsoever, officer." -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

The tincture of night began to suffuse the soup of the afternoon. Lord Vetinari considered the sentence and found it good. He liked "tincture" particularly. Tincture. Tincture. It was a distinguished word, and pleasantly countered the flatness of "soup." -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

(An oddly Douglas Adams-esque digression. It goes on, too)

The three thieves looked around. As their eyes grew accustomed to the gloom, they received a general impression of armorality, with strong overtones of helmetness. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

(mmm adjectivized nouns, my favorite)

She scrounged what she could from the guild, but a real alchemical laboratory should be full of the kind of glassware that looked as if it were produced during the Guild of Glassblowers All-Comers Hiccuping Contest. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

Ankh-Morpork, alone of all the cities of the plains, had opened its gates to dwarfs and trolls (alloys are stronger, as Vetinari had said). It had worked. They made things. Often they made trouble, but mostly they made wealth. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

There were no public health laws in Ankh-Morpork. It would be like installing smoke detectors in Hell. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

"D*mn!" said Carrot, a difficult linguistic feat. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

(I was wrong about Mort, it wasn’t the last time for that joke)

"The man has actually got charisn'tma." "Your meaning?" "I mean he's so dreadful he fascinates people." -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

He felt more alive than he had for days. The recent excitement still tingled in his veins, kicking his brain into life. It was the sparkle you got with exhaustion, he knew. You were so bone-weary that a shot of adrenaline hit you like a falling troll. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

I love this because you're just reading along, it all makes sense, and then a troll drops unexpectedly into the sentence, illustrating the simile in a very meta sort of way.

Cows, in Sergeant Colon's book, should go "moo." Every child knew that. They shouldn't go "mur-r-r-r-r-m!" like some kind of undersea monster and spray you with spit. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

"Hello, hello, hello, what's all this, then?" said Carrot. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

(Carrot being a human police officer, iykyk)

Rogers the bulls were angry and bewildered, which counts as the basic state of mind for a full-grown bulls. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

Just as a point of interest, Rogers is one of only two literary characters I can think of that use plural pronouns, the other one being Proginoskes the cherubim from A Wind in the Door by Madeline L'Engle.

Angua couldn't make out any words but many dwarf cries didn't bother with words. They went straight for emotions in sonic form. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

"It's the most menacing dwarf battle-cry there is! Once it's been shouted someone has to be killed!" "What's it mean?" "Today Is A Good Day For Someone Else To Die!" -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

(Dwarfs are more pragmatic than Klingons)

"Commander Vimes said someone has to speak for the people with no voices!" -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

(Vimes would have gotten along with Granny Aching, I think)

"We can rebuild him," said Carrot hoarsely. "We have the pottery." -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

"Dis is police brutality..." Igneous muttered. "No, dis is just police shoutin'!" yelled Detritus. "You want to try for brutality it OK wit' me!" -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

(Detritus has really gotten the knack of policing by now. And by the way he does nothing out of line here, or I think ever)

"That's blasphemy," said the vampire. He gasped as Vimes shot him a glance like sunlight. "That's what people say when the voiceless speak." -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

[imaginesbymonika]

She's electric | Part 5

Pairing: Liam Gallagher x fem!bassist reader

Plot: Liam's hatred for Blur runs deep. However, no matter how much he hates them and their stupid music - he cannot seem to hate their bassist.

Last Part

(2024)

„Why now?“, Jimmy Fallon asks leaning back in his seat, his eyes on the two brothers. „The money.“, Noel jokes, while Liam can’t stop staring at the host in a mix of revulsion and annoyance. He was never the type to pretend to like someone. „It‘s not about the money, is it.”, Liam speaks up:” I missed sharing a stage with me brother, short and simple.”

After a few more minutes, Jimmy Fallon (now visibly intimidated) thanked them for stopping by and added a quick “Good luck on the tour.” But Liam continues his staring. It's something that Noel catches out of the corner of his eye. Some things never change, he reckons.

“This does feel like the old times.”, Noel scoffs softly as they walk down the hallway to their dressing rooms. “Don’t be such a buzzkill, will ya.”, Liam grins, throwing his arm around his brother's shoulders:” Ya love having me back.”

Noel wants to respond when suddenly a voice comes from around the corner that makes Liam stop dead in his tracks. “I don’t know, Damon.” Noel who also halts turns to look at him in confusion:” What’s wrong?”

It's like the world slows down when Blur comes into sight, chatting and laughing. And as if it’s the natural way of all things Liam and Y/N immediately make eye contact. She subconsciously grips Damon’s upper arm for support while a wave of emotions crashes over her. She nearly drowns.

“Well, well, well… look who it is.”, Liam’s voice is icy and distant. There’s a bitterness forming in the pit of his stomach… over how Y/N holds onto the blonde man, over the way she appears almost miserable to see him after all this time, and (it's probably the worst part) over the way she still looks so unbelievably beautiful. He scoffs and watches how she rolls her eyes.

“Let us through, Gallagher.”, Damon lets out, as he glances between the two brothers with a hint of exhaustion in his eyes. He’s been through this enough back in the 90s, he doesn’t need this type of energy now. He's too old for that. “What are you doing here?”, Noel asks, looking at his brother for a few seconds before his gaze shifts back to his almost sister-in-law. “We’re the musical guest.”

Liam’s face hardens further:” Oh yeah, yeah… you still just- just friends?” His index finger moves between Damon and Y/N. “Excuse me?!”, she asks letting go of the front singer. However, Liam just makes a mockery face at her:” Excuse me?! You know exactly what I am talking about.”

A heavy and dense silence falls over the hallway and Y/N tilts her head at Liam, as she studies his facial features. When suddenly the realization hits her like a truck:” Oh my god, you’ve got to be joking.” Noel and the others only stare at her in perplexity. “You still think Damon and I are a thing?! After all those fucking years?! Are you mental?!”

If Liam wasn't feeling as irritated as he already did, he might have felt a little more upset about her words, or perhaps he could have been more rational.

“Damon is still married to his wife! Stop acting like a dickhead!”, she takes an angry step towards him:” Do I have to remind you that he’s our fucking lead singer?!”

“Dickhead?! Oh excuse me that I never liked seeing you on stage with another man!”, Liam mirrors her, while rolling his shoulders back:” I just can’t help but wonder what actually goes on between the two of you.”

As soon as the words leave his lips, the fury on Y/N’s face turns into pure hurt. She blinks a few tears away:” Fuck you, Liam.”

And with that, she walks straight past him.

Liam doesn’t turn around to watch her, instead, he shuts his eyes for a second and murmurs something under his breath. “Damn, mate.”, Damon whispers and scoffs, although there’s a hint of disappointment in his eyes:” You still haven’t changed.”

[vampykween]

Crazy idea for toxic husband simon? Lets send them to couples counselling >:]

hehe i love this idea! sorry this took so long i pondered over how to write it, but i like how it turned out! these two deserve a brief reprieve from all the angst so enjoy this little glimmer of hope <3

“i still don’t think we need to do this, love” 

“so, you’ve said. can you please just go get the kids ready to leave, im not finished getting ready.” you mentally count down from ten while leaning over the bathroom sink attempting to finish up your makeup. you know by the time you hit ten, simon will have volleyed back some comment you’re in no mood to hear. 

“’s therapy, not a fashion show. dont even get why you’re getting dolled up anyway.” he’s unbelievably predictable. 

you roll your eyes and stare pointedly in his direction. “you know if you’re trying to convince me you still love me, you should try just saying ‘wow babe you look beautiful, of course i’ll get the kids ready’.” simon squints his eyes at you as if he’s actually considering what you’re saying, huffs, and stalks off in the direction of your daughters’ room. 

~ 

maybe your husband(?) was right, this does feel stupid. you two are sitting in a far too stuffy room with plain decorations, on a too-plush couch that makes you sink further with every movement. you don't even realize the therapist is asking you something until simon places a hand on your bouncing knee, stilling it to catch your attention. your heart shouldn’t stutter at the small display of affection, but simon hadn’t touched you in so long the touch melted the icy feelings you had towards him.

the session goes far better than you had expected. you didn’t think simon would open up much, but he was a lot more willing to admit his faults than you figured he’d be. you couldn’t help but stare at him incredulously, where was this man when you two were at home? when you were begging and pleading for help with literally any and everything? a part of you starts to feel bad when simon’s revealing his feelings of depression and worthlessness, not that you’re giving him a pass for the years of transgression, but once upon a time he was your soulmate and your heartbreaks knowing he was in so much pain.

maybe you didn’t see it because you were blinded by rage, or because you were so exhausted day in and day out, you didn’t have time to think of anything other than being a mom. you both come to the realization, with the therapist’s help of course, that you were both so eager to rush into life that you never stopped to consider what that would actually look like. you wanted a baby so badly that even when things started to snowball into madness you two convinced yourselves that this was just the way it was and that it had to be worth it somehow.

as you’re both walking back to the car, you leave feeling a whole lot lighter than when you went in. sure no major hurdles were cleared. you weren’t sure when you’d be able to kiss and love on your husband again without being confronted with everything he wasn’t doing, but you two are going to take it slow and learn to listen to each other. give and take. push and pull. as you slide into the passenger seat, simon tugs gently at one of your hands and interlocks his fingers with yours.

“i know i can’t take back the past, but i’m serious about changing. i want to be better for you, for us, and for our girls.”

you’re not sure what you had expected him to say, but his words have your breath caught in your throat. you distinctly remember a time when he promised he would be good to you, and he failed. you wanted to badly to believe him now, hearing the sincerity in his voice. warring between what the angry part of you wants to say and what the hopeful part of you wants to say, you land on a simple response of “okay”

“okay?”

“yes, okay. i’m not ready to forgive you yet and i don’t know when i ever will be. but i am saying that i will try.” his eyes lock with yours and you can see the emotion brewing in them, he doesn’t offer any words back. he simply squeezes your hand three times in quick succession. i love you. maybe just maybe things will work out this time.

[redsrooftopprincess]

Pumpkin Sugar (Part 1)

Raphael x GN!Reader - Established Relationship

Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 . Epilogue (🌶️ Fem!Reader)

Based on this ask by @gornackeaterofworlds

More of a question to expand on than a detailed request, but would raph help a teacher reader grade papers?? Would he get invested in gossip on the kids??

I was zoning out and somehow thought about elementary school teacher readers, coming back to the lair with papers to grade, Donnie getting angry over the lesson plans you have to use, etc. And then, like always, raph thoughts(I am unbelievably gushy to raph x lil sweet cheery readers) Being oh so sleepy tired but still having work to do. Grading papers, getting activities printed and cut, weekly plans. I'd like to imagine he helps to get you to sleep faster, all the while listening to the venty yapping about which kids are troublemakers

Hi gornack! I hope you are feeling well. ♥️

Sorry this took so long. I want you to know that this started out as a simple fluffy fic, but Red disagreed. He wanted to make you smile.

I'm going to be splitting this into 4 parts (+ an epilogue) to make it easier to read because I accidentally went over the character limit in my notes app *twice*. I wasn't aware you could accidentally write a whole ass fic, but here we are. 😅

Special thanks to @the-cauldron-witch . The best brainstorming buddy I could honestly ask for. Could not have written this without you. 😁

"Come on, babe, please?"

You sigh, whining, "Raph..."

"I gotta head out early, you'll be asleep by the time I get back," he pleaded. He was only working a half night, but he had to leave right at sunset and head across town, so he wouldn't be home until well after 1:00 am, and you had school in the morning.

It had been a long day, and it still wasn't over yet.

You really did like your job. The kids were great, even when they misbehaved it wasn't their fault. There were just too many of them and not enough of you. You couldn't watch everybody all the time, but you still had to try. Third grade was a lot. Especially when you were managing 27 kids (you're grateful, you have colleagues managing 40+, and it's a fucking zoo).

Still, you tried to make things fun for them. Halloween is tomorrow, and you don't want to do the traditional boring "spooky" theme. So, you've decided to teach an entire class of 8-9 year olds a little bit about applied chemistry.

You were actually really excited! You'd picked up a bunch of foam pumpkins at the dollar store, which were currently being dragged in a cart behind you. You were planning on carving them into jack o'lanterns and teaching the kids how to make elephant toothpaste to ooze out of the holes. It's was going to be the most beautiful chaos, and with any luck, a memorable experience.

There was only one problem, you'd been dealing with meetings and trainings all week and unable to actually carve the damn pumpkins. Today there was an outage in part of the building, so you had to wait two hours to use the one copier available, and by the time you walked out you had zero gas left in the tank. You wanted to go home and finish your work so you could go to bed.

You reach the top of the stairs, exiting the subway at street level. The lair is literally in the opposite direction. You look south, towards your apartment.

"Please?" He asks again, his voice softening. You haven't seen him in days and you can hear in his voice that it's taking as much of a toll on him as it is you. "I'll help you with your school shit, whatever, I just... I gotta see you. Please?"

You sigh and turn around, heading north. You miss him, too.

...

He meets you at the door to the elevator, and despite your exhaustion, you can't help but smile. He had that effect. Comfort, safety, peace, love... Raphael is Home. And the moment you step inside his arms all of your tension melts away. Almost.

He picks you up in his arms and squeezes you tightly, swinging you gently back and forth as he buries his nose in your hair. He breathes you in and grins, chuckling quietly as you squeeze him back and press your face against his neck.

"What're you laughing at?" you ask, suspicious. He was way more... something... than normal... you're not entirely sure what. You raise your head with your eyes narrowed.

"Nothin'," he says, kissing you sweetly, "just happy to see you." Your eyes narrow further, but this seems to satisfy you. You kick your legs and whine and he sets you down.

Picking up the crate and carrying it casually under one arm (though, to be fair, the pumpkins are made of foam), he gestures you first into the elevator and follows behind. He takes your hand pretty much immediately, "So what're we working on?"

"Pumpkins," you sigh.

He waits a beat. Then another. "Okay... You gonna give me more than that, or..." He smirks down at you, laughing. He can't help it.

"Yeah, sorry," you laugh, "rough week." You shake your head, before looking up at him, "carving, specifically."

"Shit, why didn't you say so? I could've done the whole thing for you!" He laughs as you exit the elevator into the lower garage.

Donnie's working on the truck and you wave at him as you pass by. He gives you a bright smile and your suspicion grows. He's a bit too cheery for being elbow deep in his latest mechanical mess.

You make it to the living room and start unpacking everything. Foam pumpkins, sharpies, exacto knives, "that should be everything," you say, grabbing a gourd and sitting down on the couch. You tuck your legs up under you as Raph walks by behind, leaning down to kiss you on his way to the other side.

He only has about an hour before he needs to leave, but he spends it cuddled up next to you quietly carving pumpkins, an activity which he actually enjoys. All too soon, he's called away to his duties.

With a lingering kiss that leaves you missing him already, he's gone, and you're left with... so much work.

...

The pumpkins are taking longer than expected, and by midnight you're still not done. Mostly because, for a teacher, you really suck at learning your lesson, and you waited until the last minute. Again. And you didn't ask your boyfriend for help once you realized it was too much. Again.

Honestly, one word and he could have had this solved for you. You look over at your annual Family Pumpkin Carving Competition entries. Raph was no longer allowed to enter the contest because it wasn't fair. But he still did one because he enjoyed it. This year, it seems, he was feeling romantic.

It was a MASSIVE pumpkin almost to your shoulder. You have no idea how he even got it down here. Inside was a small table with several electric candles, illuminating the ballroom scene from Beauty and the Beast.

You set down the half-carved jack o' lantern, and sigh heavily, rubbing your eyes. You lean back on the couch, tucking your feet under you. You're just going to shut your eyes for a few seconds. You know that people always say that and they end up just falling asleep, but you really actually mean it, you'll close your eyes for a few minutes and then get back to work.

....

Tag list

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @footninja @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo

...

Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 . Epilogue (🌶️ Fem!Reader)

[kining-the-evil]

Pitty Party

/Summary/: After a mistake on a mission that led to another member of the team getting hurt May is there to help bring you back to earth

/Trigger warnings/: talks of death, talks of being in jail, panic attacks, no pronouns are used but reader is meant to be they/them, may is a mentor to the reader

/Requested by/: @mellifluous-fics

Agents of shield Masterlist. Other masterlists

/AN/: I am so, unbelievably sorry this took almost a year to get out. I’m going back and trying to get all of the old fics out that were the original requesters. I really hope it was worth the wait.

Slap…Slap…Slap…

You listened to the way your fists hit the punching bag in front of you. Your hands were starting to go numb, but you ignored it as you continued to hit the bag. You didn’t want to stop, you couldn’t stop. Not after today. Not after you fucked up the way you did. Not after you let Fitz get hurt on a mission.

You heard someone come into the room, but you ignored it, just like you had every other time someone from the team came in to try and talk to you. You ignored Sky, Colson, and Grant. Even Simmons left Fitz’s side to try and talk to you, but you refused to stop or look over at her as she told you Fitz was going to be okay.

“I didn’t come in here to be ignored.”

You hesitated for a second when you heard May's voice, but the moment you did, a flash of what happened went through your mind and you went back to hitting the bag. May let you continue for a few minutes before speaking again.

“You’ve been at it for two hours, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“‘M fine.” You finally mumbled, but her words got to you slightly. You started to feel the exhaustion from not only the two hours of active work you just did, but the mission you’d been on before this. You felt your body stagger slightly, your arms getting heavy and you could suddenly feel the sweat covering your body.

A hand touched your shoulder, pulling you back from the bag, and you let it. Your hands fell as you were led back a few feet, and you had to work to stay upright.

“Sit.” May commanded, though her voice was slightly softer than it normally was. She pushed you down onto a bench, walking away to grab you some water, not that you drank it. Instead you just looked at the water as you tried to catch your breath.

“Don’t throw yourself a-“

“It’s not a pitty party.” You snapped through labored breath. You knew this speech, it was the same thing May had given you a thousand times. When she was training you and you had a tough day, when you failed a mission for the first time, even when she came to recruit you for SHIELD. You could remember it like it was yesterday, how you were in a ‘correctional facility,’ no one had visited you the entire time you were there, your parents making it clear they didn’t want anything to do with you after the ‘incident.’ That’s when May showed up, offering you a place at their youth training center, and you happily took it instead of being stuck in that facility for any longer than you had too. You could remember exactly what she said; ‘you can stay here and throw yourself a pitty party or you can make a difference.’

“It sure looks like one,” May told you. “You’re ignoring you team, Fitz is going to be fine-“

“He’s not fine!” You finally snapped. “Fitz isn’t fine! He got shot because I could do my damn job and clear the building!” You stood up and threw the plastic cup of water to the ground. May just watched you, her hands crossed across her chest. “Say something!”

“Say what?” She sounded like her calm composed self, and it pissed you off.

“Anything! Yell at me! Tell me I was an idiot that doesn’t know how to do my job! You should be angry with me, everyone should be!” You yelled at her as your eyes filled with tears. “I’m the reason my teammate almost died! I’m supposed to protect you all, that’s my job, and I couldn’t even do that!”

May just watched you yell as tears streamed down your face. You were sure everyone could hear you at this point, but you didn’t care. You wanted May to tell you off like she did every other mistake.

“How many missions have you successfully completed?” You frowned at her words as you cried.

“What-“

“How many missions have you completed successfully?”

“I don’t know… a lot?”

“And how many have ended with a teammate hurt in a way that could have been lethal?”

“Two.” May’s face softened at your answers slightly.

“That time wasn’t a mission-“

“That’s what we called it. And because I didn’t watch the owner of that convenient store we robbed my best friend that I considered family died. And now another friend I consider family almost died because I didn’t watch for any threats like I should have been doing! So don’t make this into a ‘it only happened once, everyone makes mistakes,’ because this isn’t that! These two times matter more than any other mission I’ve completed!”

By the end of your little rant you were full on crying, almost hyperventilating as you wrapped your arms around yourself. A panic attack. You used to get them a lot when you were younger, but you hadn’t had a bad one like this in years.

You were so wrapped up in your struggle to breath and the flashing memories that you didn’t realize May had moved closer to you until her strong arms were being wrapped around you.

“Follow my breathing.” May told you,and you did your best to match your shaky breaths to her strong ones. You don't know how long you stood there together doing that, but eventually you were able to slow your breathing. Even after that May kept her arms around you.

“You aren’t getting sent away for this mistake, none of us are going to leave you because you made an honest mistake. Okay?”

“I should still be punished.”

“Normally I’d agree to a good punishment for a mistake, but I think you’ve done plenary.” May motioned to your split and bleeding knuckles. “Now, come on. Fitz was worried sick that you were punishing yourself over this.”

You nodded and let May lead you out of the room and back to your team.

[justjams2003]

Fast Pace- 13

Am I being mean by releasing the last 3 chapters week for week? Maybe just a bit 🤭

Summary: You're a hard-working Chef in Paris and after a freak accident run-in with Carlos Sainz, your life makes a 180. Let's just say with a certain agreement, you get your bills paid and in return stand in as Carlos' girlfriend for the press. But will you be able to handle the pressure and ensure the lines don't blur?

Pairing: Sugar Daddy!Carlos Sainz x Sugar Baby!Reader

Warnings: I've aged up Carlos, he is 33 in this fic. Smoking, smut, sexual themes, age difference, manipulation, control, slight obsession, the word 'daddy', nudity, a garbage family, family trauma, disowning, tell me if I missed any

Taglist: @httpjeonlicious, @f1lov3r, @messersandmesses, @hollie911, @oriconde08 @thehufflepuffavenger1 @fanboyluvr @thatgirlmj @whyamireadingthis @oriconde08 @depressedriches @roseseraj @skepvids @sain55wifey @distinguishedvoidlady @amatswimming @sachaa-ff @lightdragonrayne @lazybot @formula1mount @fangirl-dot-com @saintslewis @carlossainzwho @lordpercevalcharles @topguncultleader @kitixie @serp3ns0rtiae @hangmandruigandmav @therealone4r @keii134 @dark-night-sky-99 @jax-the-oregonian @hachrinnen

Word count: 3,2k

Masterlist

Part 12 ~Part 14 (coming soon)

“Elle dort profondément, la journée a été longue.” Y/N’s brother and parents both look up at me in shock. I can’t help but laugh at their expressions. We’ve been here three days and if it weren’t for her family, it would be idyllic.

We’ve gone hiking in the beautiful mountains, she’s shown me all around her hometown. She has so many memories here, a lot of them good, but when I hear the things her mother says to her, I can’t but wonder if she’s sugar coating some of it.  

“What? You didn’t think that me, a million-dollar man who travels the world every day, with a French teammate, wouldn’t speak French? Not even a little?” I can only sigh at their foolishness; I see now why my sweet girl is so easy to...shape. Luckily for her, she has me and no one would dare hurt her with me around. Her family, however, after what I’ve seen they don’t get the same lenience.  

 I sit down on the table, “Tell me, how much do you want?” If I was some old-timey villain I would take out my checkbook and write some obscure numbers with lots of zeros. Her brother furrows his brows, “How much of what?”

I chuckle, I thought at least he would be smarter, I guess not. “Money. How much do you want to never speak to Y/N ever again?” Her mother scoffs and begins rambling about just how important she is to her.  

“Look, you’re a terrible influence on my precious girl. You make her feel terrible about herself after I spent all that time convincing her otherwise. Now, we can do as normal families do and only see each other on the holidays. Even then, it’s going be exhausting for her. So, why don’t we just take a short cut? How much money for you to kick her out of your life, permanently?” Her brother looks appalled and disgusted.  

His fist goes to find my jaw, but I catch his hand before he even comes close. “Be serious, you might be a rough and tough city farm boy, but I’ve spent years of my life practising my reflexes.” I take him by his shoulders and shove him back down in his chair. “How much will it be, mom, dad? Fifty thousand, a hundred thousand, or shall we go into the millions?” Everyone goes quiet at the numbers I’m talking of.  

“See? That wasn’t so hard? Now, Cash or Card?”  

“They’re so unbelievable! You know what, no, I’m glad that they did this. She’s been nothing but a cruel bitch all my life. Now that I’m happy, she hates it.” She screams into the phone, she’s standing next to the bathroom trying to get some distance from other people.

“No, I don’t care if they’re my family, who says that to someone?” She scoffs, likely she’s talking to Jasmine and Ilsa, I know Alex and Kika would defend me.  

She’s angry, a wrinkle in a brow and I just want to make it all go away. Maybe even, I’ll have to get rid of those two friends as well. They’re not good for her either. “I know I’ve only known him for a month and a half, but it’s been the best few weeks of my life! It’s been better than anything I’ve had with that fucked family of mine. And the fact that you two can’t see that, really shows me something about you two.”  

Her footsteps are loud on the floor of the plane. She throws her phone on the seat and plops herself down in my lap. Instantly her head finds the crook of my neck and her small hand takes fists full of my shirt. She pulls me as close as possible to me and wrap my arms around her. This is where she belongs, nowhere else but in my arms.  

 Her whole-body shakes as sobs make its way through her. “No te preocupes, mi dulce niña. Estoy aquí para ti. No importan, sólo estamos tú y yo. Just you and me. You have me now, you don’t need them.” I soothe her cries, rubbing circles on her back as she mumbles on about how awful they are and how evil they’re being.

I know it’s better for her in the long run, but it hurts my heart to see her like this. Hurting. At the same time, having her cling to me as if I am her lifeline is a feeling I can’t help but savour.  

“Carlos, where are we going?” A sigh escapes me. “Singapore, for the next race. But I have to talk to you about it.” She raises her head; she has these big doe eyes that has this melting effect on me. Yet at the same time, it makes the khaki’s I’m wearing tighter than I’d like it to be. “This is going to be the hardest race of the year. For the rest of the week until at least Friday, I’m going to be very busy with very hard training.”  

I know for a fact that this is the worst time possible to leave her alone. Right now, I need to be with her every moment. She has to be with me and no one else otherwise my whole plan will be for nothing. I have to be the only one comforting her, if not she’ll think that she can rely on others. My sweet thing whines at the realisation and goes to hide her face again but I stop her before she does.  

“I know, I’m sorry. But, I really don’t want to leave mi dulce niña alone, no?” She shakes her head, wiping her tears with the same hoodie I’d given her at the very beginning. I might have blasted the AC, just to see her wear it again. I know it gives her comfort and she just looks like a doll with it on. So small and so cute, I feel as if the love is oozing from my heart.  

“Now, we have one of two options. It’s not too late, we can still turn this plane around. Get you a nice, big apartment somewhere in France.” She stops me before I can even continues.

“No, I don’t ever want to see that damn country ever again. What if I see one of them again? I’d much rather live on the streets.” I can’t help but smirk, taking her small hands into mine.  

“I thought so. What about somewhere in Madrid? Why don’t you move in with me?” Her eyes go even bigger and bites down on that puffy lower lip of hers. I adjust her to sit on my other leg, the friction between us making me rock hard. Soon after, her eyes avoid mine. Her eyebrows pull together and I can’t help but reach up and smooth the crinkle in her forehead. 

So much seems to be running through her mind, and it shouldn’t be. Things should be easy for her, look pretty and be my pet. That should be the end of it. But this world can be so heartless and make the important people in our lives hurt. “Tell me, mi niña bonita, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”  

She sighs and then gives me those big doe eyes again. This time they’re all puffy from crying, and she looks just as beautiful as the day I met her. “Daddy, I don’t want to leave your side.”

Her words are like lava through my body. I take her chin and give her a kiss on her cheek. “I know, baby, but what other option is there? Follow me everywhere I go? You’ll get bored, I’m sure.” She doesn’t hesitate and shakes her head.  

“No, no, I promise. I’ll be good.” This would be more perfect than any other option. Having her by my side for the whole world to see. “I don’t know, cosas dulce,” it’s mostly just an act, I want her to beg. “Please Daddy, please?” She jumps ever so slightly on my lap and I can’t help but holding her waist to keep her still, not knowing how much longer I can hold out. Especially when she’s like this.  

Y/N takes her small hands and hold my face. Then she places a kiss on my cheek, then the other. I take her petite hands in mind. “Oh, alright, but no whining missy.” I hold out my hand, showing how stern I am. But she wraps her fingers around mine and gives me the biggest brightest smile. “You know I can’t say no to you.”  

“Carlos?” I had just finished pretty extensive training for the race. The whole gym room’s heat is all the way up to 30 Degrees Celsius, sweat is dripping off me. My hair is wet, luckily my girl gave me one of her headbands to keep my hair out of my face.

I could see her eyeing me the whole time. I couldn’t bare the heat much long, and just had to take my shirt of. Or maybe it was tactical to get her attention, nobody will ever know.  

“Yes, mi querido?” She gets up from her seat, discarding her phone which she had been so engulfed in before. Her hips sway, she too is sweating and is wearing the smallest little shorts I’ve seen in a while. It entrances me, every time she walks, the way her legs move. The way those tiny shorts sits a way below her naval. Showing off what all the boys are missing out on.  

Y/N makes her way over to me, her fingers dancing on my shoulder. “No, mi cosa bonita, you don’t want to touch me. I’m sweaty and smelly.” She scoffs and wraps her arms around my neck. “You’re saying that like I care.” I can’t help but chuckle at her attitude. Yes, last week changed her, but so far it’s for the better. My hands find her hips, “You’ve been looking so good lately, cosas dulce.”  

Her laugh alights my whole body. “You’ve been using that one a lot lately, I’ll have to google it,” I pretend to wince at her words. “No, cosas dulce, I might get in trouble.” Now she really does laugh, throwing her head back like she does when she’s comfortable. “Why do you laugh?” She shakes her head, “You, Mister Sainz, could never get in trouble with me. You’ve been nothing but perfect.”  

I pull her closer to me, our hips touching the other. “Is that so? I’ll have to hold you up to that.” I can’t help but place kisses all over her bare neck. “Except right now.” My heart rises and I’m just glad the monitors aren’t on.

Has she found out? No, no it can’t be. If she did, she’d be a lot more upset. Or would she? Would she be happy that I did it? Relief to get rid of them and have them well cared for at the same time. She doesn’t look happy now, but she doesn’t look to upset.  

“I’m scrolling through Instagram, right, only to see an edit about you. Guess my surprise that I found out through an Instagram reel that I missed your birthday!” Oh yes, that, is that really all? I can’t help but laugh at how serious she is. “You didn’t miss it; we did celebrate it.” Her eyebrows furrow, “What do you mean?” I love the way her long hair sways to the side when she’s confused.  

“Your fashion show, after the shopping trip. It was more than enough of a present for me. Not to mention you got the sunglasses, with our initials on them.” She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“You keep calling me hardheaded, but you can be even more dense than me.” I laugh, she can be so complex. Switching from soft and needing to be held one moment, to sassy and chatty the next. I love every moment.  

A hum escapes me, “Aren’t you brave, talking to me like that, cosas dulce?” She ignores my words and carries on. “It doesn’t count as a birthday gift, if I didn’t even know it’s your birthday.” I sigh, seeing now that she’s going to be persistent on this. “That’s why I love it so much. You gave me a gift without even knowing. Call it something poetic, like our souls just knowing, or something simple. Like the kindness you give me that no one else does.”  

She pushes out her bottom lips and her eyes go all big again. “Carlos, that’s really beautiful.” She pulls me down by the neck and gives me a kiss on the cheek. Oh, how I cherish those. I remember each and every one. “But, at least allow me to make you dinner tonight.” I don’t want her going through all the trouble, or making too much of a fuss.  

“Don’t bother, cosas dulce. There’s no point in celebrating. 34 Years and I spent most of them racing, to no avail. A team that fucks me over, another year with no win and still no championship behind my name. And the rookies are getting younger and younger, and better and better. I’m sure I’ll lose my seat in a year or two and after that, it’s retirement for me.”

I didn’t mean to spill out all my thoughts just like that. But when she looks at me with those eyes, I wan’t to tell her everything.  

She cooes and pulls me tight in her arms. “Don’t talk like that. I’m sure you want our kids to see you race at least once.” What? She surprises me again and again. This is good, very good. She’s seeing what I see. Our goals are aligning. Before long I’ll have her all to myself. “You mean it?” Her smile lights up the room and my life.  

“Of course, now give me your card. Brutis, Otis and I are going grocery shopping.” That’s my girl. No longer afraid to ask. “You know where it is, cosas dulce.”  

I can hear music blasting through the hotel room, along with my girl screaming the lyrics at the top of her lungs, like always. She’s dancing and swaying to the music. Her hips move in ways that entice. But the most attractive thing about her, is that she looks as happy as can be. Pure joy radiates off her like the sun’s rays. Nothing is as beautiful as her delight and I just need to be a part of it.  

I scoop her up in my arms and place her on the first open space on the counter. She breaks out in giggles, “Aren’t I glad you’re feeling better,” she mutters between laughs as I make marks all over her neck and shoulders.

“How can I not with such a beauty in my arms?” She blushes and still giggles as my scruff tickles her. But soon she gently pushes me away, not far, by the chest. Her hands there is like fuel to my engine. Sparking my whole body to keep her here, trapped.

“You’re just in time,” she smiles jumping off and plating the food she had made. “I made Fideuà.” At just the mention, memories of my childhood come rushing back. Big Christmas family dinners, with lots of people. Kids running around, screaming with delight, as people laugh and drink lots of wine. “Ah, mi amor, now you are bringing back some good memories, no?”  

Y/N’s smile is big as she hands me the plate and pours some white wine. The first bite is perfect, the taste of fish explodes in my mouth. After it’s the texture of the pasta and the hint of Saffron.

“Wow, I must say, mi amor, this is as good as Mama’s.” This makes her smile as wide as ever. “Really, you mean it? You’re not lying?” There are some slight differences, but it’s incredibly hard to notice. I shake my head no.  

“It’s almost identical.” She blooms with joy and her cheeks are just so faintly red. “Caco sent me the recipe from your mom.” I should have known. “My, my, already in kahoots with my family.” I pull her into my lap as we both enjoy our dinners. “Speaking of, mi amor, I want you to meet my family. And I know you still feel unsure about moving in with me. But if you meet my parents and see the city...”  

Her gaze is stuck on her dinner as she just moves the shrimp around. “I’ll meet your parents, but I won’t promise you anything.” That’s good enough. That’s more than good enough.  

Xxxx  

There is a blazing heat through the paddock. Everyone is sweating and I can only imagine Carlos must be so uncomfortable in his racing suit. Boiling hot, you can see his hair is sweating but you know he won’t wear his headband in public.

It’s a maybe five minutes until they play the national anthem. Yet still through the flurry of everything and everyone he still makes his way towards where you stand with Caco in the garage.  

He hands you his drink, with the weird tube and everything, clearly given to him by Rupert. “Here, it’s very hot, remember to drink a lot of water.” You sigh and take him by the race suit.

“Carlos. Your race starts in twenty mintues, you shouldn’t be bothering yourself with me.” He clicks his tongue. “Siempre tan testarudo,” you sigh, you’ve googled it before and he says it so much that you know he’s calling you hardheaded.  

“Carlos!” The people call out his name, they could get a penatly if he misses the song. “I’m coming! Caco, asegúrate de que bebe mucha agua.” He speaks to his cousin, who agrees. He goes to leave but you grab him by his suit and pull him back. His lips fit perfectly onto yours. He pulls you close by the waist, his other hand rake deep into your hair.  

He kisses you back with such passion. Like a fire lighting between you two. Your soul finally finds rest. You’ve been wanting this for weeks and now you’re finally taking it for yourself. And you can tell by the way he holds you and pulls you closer that this is what he’s wanted. He’s been yearning for it just as much as you have.  

Finally, when there is no air left in your lungs you’re forced to break apart. “I’ll move in with you.” His whole body comes alive with joy. “Really?” His smile is wider than I’ve ever seen before. “Yes really, now go before Ferrari fine me themselves!”  

Hollywood Life 

“Y/N Y/S/N’s content quality and quality raises, could she have gotten herself a full PR team?” 

Glamour 

“Fans are going crazy as the boost in Y/N Y/S/N’s conent shows new insight on her and her boyfriend Carlos Sainz’s life that’s never been seen before.”  

Page Six 

“Carlos Sainz and his girlfriend seem to be attached at the hip.”  

Us Weekly 

“People are freaking out over Carlos Sainz’s post race interview:  ‘The first non-Red Bull win of the season. What would you like to say?’  ‘I’d like to thank my girlfriend. She’s the reason for this trophy. I know I should be thanking the team, but I know they’d much rather have Charles win this. So, this is for her.’ 

E!News 

“Carlos Sainz and his girlfriend seen celebrating in a club with Lando Norris as the DJ.” 

People Magazine 

“Fans are swooning after a video of Carlos Sainz winking to his girlfriend on the first place podium surfaces.”  

My taglist is open, just ask! :)

[anonymouslosersworld]

Two-faced

Two-faced pt 2

Characters; Tenjiku

Genre: Fluff (F)

Toman reacts to : s/o with a double life.

warnings: Reader is a menace to society pt2

Requested by: @sousheiswag

Summary: gang leader!s/o that hides the fact that she Is a True menace and a gang leader to anyone.

characters: Izana, Ran Haitani and Rindou Haitani

Hiding something like 2nd life was exhausting. Like honestly how did you even find the energy to do it?

Your boyfriend's clingy, stupid, and always had to give you a heart attack one way or another, even if he doesn't admit it. He was up your ass every other day and making you angry half the time. Which made you so happy that you had ...creative outlet

It honestly took a load off caving someone's faces in after a big fight you had said, boyfriend. Sometimes you needed something to end up in flames and someone's ugly sobbing to get your anger out.

It was always a big plus that the people you were kicking the shit out of weren't the innocent bystanders but other gang douches that broke your territory rules or tried to take over your said territory.

But today you were running behind schedule some gang decided to pull some shit the day of some important day your boyfriend invited you . So you had to stop in the middle of getting ready to go deal with them.

you were kinda pissed, while you were hot the temp for that day was even higher and it made you cranky. So the douches got the death of a lifetime.

Izana Kurokawa

Izana was fucking worried, he went to your apartment to check on you because you hadn't called him like you promised you would. Your room looked like it had been ransacked if he was being honest, but he knew that the mess was a part of getting ready to go out.

what really made alarm bells ring in his head was the ugly boot footprints all over your home, he thought you had been kidnapped. While he usually said anything about your shoe preferences these seemed to be all over certain parts of your parents. It's where you keep all your valuables...kept is more like it since these places were empty/ ransacked.

Izana let out a huff and gritted his teeth.

'unbelievable' He thought as he walked out of your apartment.

'I'm so fucking late!!!'

well, you say that but you didn't seem to stop shoving s scum bag's face into the floor.

"you seem to like being on your knees for a girl huh? you must make someone happy." you said trying to alleviate your bad temper.

"oh but who am I kidding, you get no bitches do ya!" You grunt as you knee the guy in the face. "You'd be lucky with just a hello!"

"If it weren't for you I'd be with my boyfriend but noooo. Y-you just couldn't shut the fuck up and leave me be!"

The sound of bones breaking was clearly heard by you as you curb stomp the idiot who dared to cross paths with you. You can't help but remember a time not so long ago when it bothered you. But you were most certainly more bothered by your current predicaments because you didn't notice someone coming up behind you trying to confirm it's really you.

"DO you know how fucking long it takes to get a date with that asshole?! A lot! I worked really hard and you ruined it!"

"I could be sipping a (insert drink) with him right now! or watching a fucking movie?! Now I'll have to wait til his dumbass schedule opens up for another one bitch!"

Ran Haitani

See you rather die than admit to Ran that you were a leader of the gang. To give that man satisfaction would be a stain on your pride. So you obviously decided you would deal with the way you love.

Fighting was not one of them.

Physiological warfare of course.

So no Ran didn't catch you exactly fighting but in a particular scene. To him, it looked like you were ambushed or being harassed by a gang. When they looked at him in fear he just assumed it was because of him.

Turns out it was the opposite situation, he had no idea that you had told this daddy's man that his daddy knew what he was doing in his free time.

You had just exposed him for being a fraud rich boy wannabe gang leader just cosplaying, causing his fear to become real as his gang was ruthless and cutthroat.

"Now. do you want me to tell certain interested parties about this orr?" your paused before continuing, "you know you have a really pretty dad ya know? He really looks like my friend's type too, maybe you'll have a new step-mommy."

" You think your empty threats-"

"Empty? who said they were?" You grab his face and squeeze it with a force to bruise his face. "watch your tone with me little bitch boy, or you won't like the consequences ."

The look on the man's face when registered Ran's oncoming figure was hilarious. You would probably laughed if you weren't caught red-handed doing something."

"Heyyy Ran~"

"Is this what was keeping you late?"

"hmm~? what do you mean?"

"This dude bothering you?"

"Oooh, no we were just having a spirited conversation and we finally finished. "

The look on Ran's face was unreadable but after a minute he nodded.

"alright you little bitch, do what I told you or else," you whispered to the man behind him and walked to Ran who had extended his hand to you to hold.

So ran didn't find out till after rumors had spread that he was someone's dog and bitch.

Rindou Haitani

Rindou finding out that you were in a gang was actually pretty easy if you asked him (you never denied it or tried to hide it) . But if you asked yourself, you couldn't have been more obvious with him. In your relationship with Rindou you pride yourself with being honest with him and having a clear and open line of communication with each other.

you literally had just gone to the bathroom at this cafe that you and Rindou decided to have a date at and suddenly Taiju Shiba was in your seat trying to "conduct business'" with Rindou. You smirk as you approach the table before stealing a kiss from Rindou and placing yourself onto his lap.

"Hi baby, whose this date crasher?" you question him playing dumb. You knew Taiju very well.

"This is_"Rindou began before being interrupted by Taiju

" I don't think it any of your business'."

A laugh escapes your throat and you smile at him.

"Well I know you don't think at all. But seeing as you interrupted MY date with MY boyfriend.. it is my business. "

" No one has taught you to speak when your spoke-"

" Unlike your shitty ass, poor of excuse of a way of treating your "family" you don't get to talk to me that way. Or did you forget your manners when your parents died Dog." You spoke with poison in your veins, you hated every single cell of that loser. For the way that he treats your friend and her brother but also the way he handles things.

Taiju blood boils and he begins to try to "disciple" you but before he or Rindou could even react, your men quickly disabled Tajiu and pinned him to the table. With his face shoved into the dirty café floor , you motion to your men to pick the loser up. Blood ran down his nose and forehead, his cheeks stung from your full force slaps to the point were he almost didn't feel them.

" Now, just this once I'll let you off easy okay girlie? Because i know of a couple of interested parties that would like to shoot another one those videos. "

His face drained of color as he remembers Haikai's significant other torment and the humiliation's he went through because of them.

"good you realize who I'm speaking of. Hears what we are going to do. Your going to leave me and my boyfriend to our date. These lovely men are going to beat you to inch of your life then leave you for dead in some random river while recording everything and maybe just maybe that video will end up in Koko's or haikai's lovely s/o hands. And you will spend every waking moment wondering when either of them is going to strike."

Rindou had chills for weeks after that. He processed the event slowly as he clearly remembered the fear in Taiju's face. The fact that you could be so cold and ruthless but the next second be so warm to him blew his mind.

He would do the same thing of course but he needs time to process. But in the meantime you two go on a lot of uninterrupted dates.

Hajime Kokonoi

Kokonoi values information, money and luxury.

But there was a fourth thing he valued with his grubby greedy hands the most and that was you. You had everything he valued and loved all wrapped into one. You somehow knew information that it would have taken him a lot of time and money. You had "strange" and "random" friendships with some questionable people, connections he knew where in HIS world.

so he didn't have evidence to back up his claims but in his 4 million heart he knew that you were at least involved into his world but just didn't know how much. He knew you either deep enough to be an information gatherer of a spy but he didn't think you were a gang leader.

Day and night he would undirectedly tell you to leave that world behind and that he would take care of you but you never acknowledge his underlying message.

But he realized how strong you were when a gang he was working on merging another gang to tenjiku only to realize that group had disbanded and joined another gang.

Shion

Oh He knew, you think he would forget getting his ass beat by you??

[explorationsoftheid]

One thing I learned to do over the years was mask my emotions in public. I know, I know, it’s not good. But it’s what I ended up doing for a long time. I would keep a calm demeanour, never raise my voice, not snap, not argue, always in control no matter the cercumstances. It wasn’t good for me, but it was how I kept from melting down, in public at least.

But what does mess me up is when other people don’t do this. When other people have strong emotions, I just don’t know what to do, how to react, and I invariably do the wrong thing. Today we were getting ready for an event, which happens tomorrow. The guest of honour was there and was being a problem. Not helping, arguing with what we were doing to set up, just being annoying, and it was their party. We were doing FOR them. Finally the person I was working with just came unglued. Suddenly the two of them were shouting at each other. Was the argument justified? Absolutely. Did it totally **** me up? Absolutely. You see I don’t do arguments. Between what I now know is autistic masking, and having a father that was loud and scary when he got angry, I don’t do that. I just do not. I avoid conflict to the extreme, and now I was in the middle of one. It makes me unbelievably uncomfortable when anyone does that. In this case it was between two people I care very much for so while I wanted to just leave, that’s what I’d usually do if this sort of thing came up, I felt like I had to mediate. Somehow defuse the situation, which of course just made these two pissed off people angrier, this time at me.

It’s several hours later now. I’m at home now. I’m exhausted, my stomach is upset, and I am very much not looking forward to tomorrow.

[bowowowie]

i am so sick of queer exclusionists, or inclusionists who have a very narrow minded concept of what actually is inclusionism. i am so sick of being hated by my own community for being contradictory. why are we fighting with eachother rather than celebrating eachother and focusing on the actual fucking problems. trans people are being murdered, especially trans poc. half of our allys are not fucking allys. can we focus on the people outside of the community causing genuine harm rather than fighting eachother actually. i am so unapologetically a transmasc girlboy lesgay and i do not give a fuck about what anyone thinks although being hated is so unbelievably exhausted. if you spend your time policing your queer siblings identities then sincerely fuck you. shoutout to queer people who are confusing, contradictory and unapologetic about it. shoutout to queer people who are completely nonconforming. shoutout to queer people who are bending the confines of the labels they use. & shoutout to the angry queer people! i am so fuckinf angry! bless.

[battleaxeproficiency]

angry and irrational vent , just a brain dump of angry feelings , mention of ableism and fatphobia

I'll never not be angry that [REDACTED] is the face of the student opposition at ncf . like she's the fucking president of leftism or something .

[REDACTED] isnt even a good leftist . they hate autistic people , hate fat people , they didn't even want to go to ncf to begin with . why does she get to be the person in the news and magazines and student films ?

I am so unbelievably tired of going on Instagram and having to see their face . in news articles in infographics in tweets in posts from politicians . I hate that I'll go to the coffee shop on my college campus and they'll be there . absorbing this place into their perfect boisterous crowd pleasing identity . I hate how angry they were during orientation and how happy they are now . they're a complete fucking fraud and EVERYONE sees through it but no one fucking says anything and it's infuriating . it makes me feel crazy , how come everyone I talk to says "yeah they're exhausting and performative and annoying and I can't stand them" and then does it anyway . it makes me feel crazy . I can't even say anything about it , about their weird angry hurtful prejudices and the things they've said to my friends because then I'm distracting from the point of that nails-on-a-fucking-chalkboard persona they've crafted .

people worship them too , kiss the ground she fucking walks on , she's Christ-like to these people , a perfect victim a perfect martyr because she got arrested and kicked out of school . he's not a god he's a fucking asshole who was so cruel and inconsiderate and rude to my friend that they had regular panic attacks , had to sleep on my floor to get away from her .

I hate them . I hate them so much sometimes it makes my skin itch .

[system-of-a-feather]

I think I'm starting to get it a bit - where I fall into the system.

Riku can survive and flourish in the worst of situations, they're unbelievably resilient and stupendously optimistic and a source of hope, faith, and direction. They're invulnerable - even if you destroy them, functionably, the system will always step in and have a number of smaller parts we don't share on her to reinstate that invulnerable resilience and optimism. It's a priority. You can't take Riku off their feet.

XIV can dominate and breakdown the hells to operate in his name and get him what he needs and wants. He doesn't loose because loosing is fundamentally a concept he can't comprehend. If he would die before he looses and he has such an instinctually strong survival instinct. As long as he is alive, he will break down anything in the way of his vision. He is invulnerable - if he wants something there is nothing you can do to get in his way. If you do, if you manage to 'beat him' he will split and eat that shit back up as soon as he sees that he lost a match. He'll come back 10x stronger and take the win right bakc up. You can't declaw and defang XIV.

They're invulnerable parts - whether they like it or not - their nature as parts are functionally made to be invulnerable

And that is where you get a huge issue with our system. While it is pervasive in all parts, our system is structured around two parts heavily dissociated and functionably so cut off from being genuinely and wholely vulnerable. Even when they are, it is "but a stage in the journey" or only internally to one another.

I'm not smart enough, aggressive enough, or have enough piss and vinegar to do what XIV does - besides, I wouldn't need to. XIV is right there,

I'm just too much of an upset, hurt, and angry part to do what Riku does, I'm a negative nancy simple as that. I obviously can't be Riku, that's a given. (and also I don't think anyone in this system other than Riku can be Riku)

The thing that both of them don't have though that I think I could do with some reflection is that I can be vulnerable. I'm not this amazing or ridiculously specialized part. I'm split as what a very hurt, self hating, and exhausted part thought was the "monster" they were stuck being and I think its a ridiculous thing in hindsight, because I'm REALLY not a monster at all.

But my existence is founded on hurt, self loathing, fatigue, exhaustion, and weakness. I operate in a similar way to XIV as Data tried to cope with his shit by borrowing from those around him and instinctually, I want to hate everything around me that breathes. I want to hate everything that has played into the situation Data!old had gotten themselves trapped in before splitting. I want to avoid everything and isolate because everything is a disappointment to me.

I have no reason to be nice and open to the world. I come from garbage and hurt, I don't owe it to anything or anyone - but thats the thing. I think Data!old deserved a lot better. I think Data!old deserves better. I could sit comfortably by and live in the shit ending I was split off and be comfortable saying I am done, but that would be me accepting that Data got fucked over by the world.

This brain and my trauma and my symptoms tell me to not talk to anyone, don't give anyone expectations you are anything more than who you are - if you are nice, theyll expect you to be nice and theyll punish you when you are normal. I should stick to myself and everyone else is a waste of time and space and get in the way.

But that's how we got here, and if there is anything I got from splitting from Data!old, it is the ability to talk about things without getting shut down. I was given the gift to be able to do the exact opposite of what I'm 'supposed' to do. I was given the ability to CHOOSE to engage in the world against what my history has told me.

I know vulnerability, I know weakness, I know hurt, I know self hate, I know pain. All of that is the root of why I am instinctually misanthropic - people have hurt us a lot, and it has gone unacknowledged because we are run by two massive beasts of invulnerability.

No one has given that hurt a voice and I think thats where I come in. I am prone to anger and aggression, I am prone to envy and jealousy and wanting to get revenge - but I'm not XIV, I'd rather just have peace by myself and disengage than to actually express that. I don't have that drive for chaos and crisis, I already have enough. I'm not interested. I don't have that high energy / activation energy and that is actually my strength in relation to XIV. It's very easy for me to just deal with those lower valence negative emotions without it getting converted to anger / aggression or without me getting consumed by or anger / aggression.

I can look at my anger, and acknowledge it, and make a choice. Usually I leave, I remove the body from stimuli and isolate away from people, but an alternative choice I could make is to take that and give in a microphone.

There is no point is pulling XIV and Riku into learning vulnerability directly; not only is that an uphill battle but it might shatter some of their strength.

I think I am here to be vulnerable by choice - a conscious and consenting CHOICE to give people the chance to hear our hurt, our vulnerability, and to respond. Talking is a gift, an active decision, to those close to me, and should they abuse that gift and trust, then they will simply get me back to my root - ignored and cut off from us.

XIV taught the system that there is no evil part - that all parts deserve a space regardless of how they are and that we have to radically accept all parts. He taught us radical acceptance and internal vulnerability.

I guess what I have to do is teach that being vulnerable doesn't inherently have to mean being at the whim of another person - you can simultaneously hold a sense of control and hold boundaries while ALSO acknowledging that needs and wounds are present.

[kxlinthesky]

EPISODE 6 PART 2 LIGHT NOVEL Chapter 5-10 English Translation

The next day:

“Come on, please?”

“No way.”

“....”

“You’re not getting out of this one, Owl.”

Owl groaned, long and loud and despairing. How many hundreds of times had they had this conversation already?

“C’mon, Owl, give it up. Ralph’s outside, and so’s Hannah – she looks furious, by the way. There’s no way you can escape.”

“No way.”

“So this is how you betray me, Nick... Ellie....”

“It’s not like we want to, y’know.”

“No way.”

Nick plopped down on one of the wooden chairs with a heaving sigh... and rested his chin on the edge of the bed in front of him. Ellie did the same next to him.

Owl was sleeping in that bed. Or, more accurately, someone was forcing him to sleep in the bed.

It had been a full day since the tumultuous events that had plagued the city.

Owl had been admitted to a medical facility that Tristan ran. He’d sworn up and down that he didn’t need it, of course, but every other person around him strongly disagreed, and he wasn’t going to win against their combined might. He’d looked so worn out and shabby after the dust settled, with his golden hair caked in dried blood, and it had taken every ounce of effort he had just to stand after he’d completely drained his magic reserves... so of course he’d been summarily bundled into the hospital. He’d actually been pretty docile at first, but as soon as he got word that neither he nor Ellie had been infected with the Black Rose Disease, he’d immediately demanded he be discharged so he could “look into ‘those guys’ as soon as possible.”

He’d only been hospitalized for four hours.

Naturally, his discharge request had been quite firmly denied.

When official channels didn’t work, Owl decided to take matters into his own hands. It didn’t matter how many times he tried to sneak out, though; Ralph and Hannah had set traps, and they kept catching him and marching him back to his room after every single escape attempt.

Which led to their current conversation.

“On top of that nasty blow to the head, you’re also suffering from some broken ribs and magic exhaustion. You really should be taking it easy.” Jack slipped a thermometer out of Owl’s armpit.  “And look, you’ve even got a bit of a fever, too. I prescribe complete bed rest. You really shouldn’t have been moving around so much with a head injury in the first place.”

He made a show of waving a pair of bloodied gloves around – the very gloves he’d lent to Owl, the white ones with the healing technique embroidered on them that Owl had used for first aid during the battle against Krinos. They weren’t really “white” anymore, though, not with the extensive bloodstains marring the fabric.

Owl’s face pulled into an apologetic grimace. “I’m sorry I got them so dirty,” he said. “I know they mean a lot to you.”

Jack’s eyebrows nearly shot off his face. “I’m not mad about that!” He lightly ground his knuckles into Owl’s bandaged forehead. “You can use them all you want, I know Eliza doesn’t mind! What I’m mad about is you not taking good care of yourself!”

“... I take care of –”

“You rushed your treatment as soon as you were brought in and then you went right back out there to help the people who were infected with the Black Rose Disease! And you were going around left and right shooting your disassembling bullets to treat everyone who was Demonized! Did you really think you could use that much alchemy in a single day without resting properly?! Of course you used up all your magic! If you had messed up at all you would have died!”

Owl’s eyes widened. He’d never seen kind, gentle Jack so angry before. The furious fire in his friend’s narrowed eyes looked almost foreign on his face, in fact, for just how much it clashed with the Jack he’d come to know. “Even you’re mad...” he mumbled.

“Of course I am! My friend was out being unbelievably reckless with his health! I’m furious!”

“... Sorry.”

“Yeah, you’d better apologize. A lot.” Jack glared for a moment, but then his shoulders slumped in a sigh. “But I know you probably had to be a little reckless, given everything.” He reached out and took Owl’s hand in a handshake. “On behalf of everyone you saved, thank you. Thanks to you, most of the people who caught the Disease were saved. They’re carriers now, of course, and they’ll need to get follow-up exams, but they’ll be able to get back to their normal daily lives soon.”

“You don’t need to thank me for that. Honestly, I don’t really remember much of what happened.”

“That’d be because of the head injury.”

“Besides, you and Tristan took care of the important stuff, right?”

A complicated expression flitted across Jack’s face. “Sir Tristan and his state alchemist friends, yes,” he replied. “They were also the ones to study why Miss Maud... no, sorry, Miss Matilda’s body remained after she died.”

“Wait, what? They did?”

“Yes... as it turns out, she’d been clutching a certain stone fragment in her hand when she passed. The power of the stone preserved her body, apparently.”

“A stone... I didn’t realize she was holding one.”

“It makes sense you didn’t, its power in and of itself was extremely weak. But it was a healing power, we think.”

“A healing power?”

“Or rather... maybe not a ‘power,’ per se, but a powerful wish stored inside. The stone had been stolen from Miss Matilda’s mother’s body, actually, so maybe she was drawing on her mother’s love?” A faintly bitter smile rose to Jack’s face. He was well aware how strange it sounded coming from a doctor like himself.

“How could you tell it was her mother’s?” Owl asked.

“She told us herself. Quote, ‘my father stole this stone from my mother,’ unquote.”

“What?”

Jack sighed. “Put a bunch of state alchemists in one room and you get to see some absurd power being thrown around. Sir Tristan used that stone as a base to reconstruct what we would call her soul. It was a stroke of luck that they found her own azoth in the ruins of the salon. She... wasn’t really resuscitated, though. It was more... he combined the last bits of magic in her body with the ‘soul’ of her mother in the stone she’d been carrying, or something like that?” He shrugged with a thoughtful hum. “Well, there’s no real precedent for what he did, so I don’t exactly know how to describe it.... It was so high-level, I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it.... But in any event, Miss Matilda’s magic was strong enough that he was able to restore her soul, though half of it is actually her mother’s soul sort of stitched together with hers.”

“So... what you’re saying is...?”

“She’s alive and well. She’s got no relatives, so once she’s all healed up we thought she might work here at this facility. It seems she has quite the gift of foresight.”

“No relatives? What about Duke Fitz?”

“You could say he incurred Sir Tristan’s wrath, I guess? From what I hear, his title was revoked. He’s not a duke anymore.”

“Ahh... I see....” Something in Owl uncoiled at that, all the tension he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying finally slipping away. His voice lowered to a relieved, almost trembling whisper. “I’m glad.... Thank you, Jack, really, thank you....”

Jack’s face did that complicated little dance again. “Like I said, it wasn’t me, it was all Sir Tristan. I couldn’t even give you the proper support you needed, and I won’t lie, that’s been weighing on me a fair bit.”

“That’s not true. You were working your hardest to help. I’m guessing Tristan was keeping your nose to the grindstone? Making all these unreasonable demands?”

“Well... things were busy?” Jack hedged. “But it was all a learning experience. I’ll study up so that next time I can help you properly.”

“I thought you were plenty help as it was. If anything, I feel like I should apologize for you having to look after both me and Tristan.”

“No, there’s no need for that. But if you’re feeling a little guilty, maybe you can at least promise that you won’t do anything rash from now on?”

Owl went rather tellingly silent.

“Otherwise, I might just suggest that Sir Tristan build a hospital right next door to your agency.”

“... Mmgh.”

“Well?”

“... If a case crops up, I’m going to pursue it. So....”

“So?”

“... I can’t make any promises.”

“You –” Jack blew out a sigh, then jabbed Owl in the shoulder. “Are the worst. Then at least no more escape attempts for the next week, got it? You can be discharged next week! No sooner! Understood?”

“Yeah, got it.”

“And if you try, I’ll have you tied to the bed until the week after that with Eliza’s special restraints.”

“... Yeah, heard you loud and clear.”

Jack nodded with a cheery smile after that final threat and finally left. Nick snickered as the doctor walked out. “Yeah, I really like him. It’s a good thing he’s your friend, Owl.”

Owl nodded. “He’s a good guy, right?”

“Oh, yeah, the best!” Nick flashed him a thumbs-up, Ellie copying him not a second later. “Which is why I completely agree with him about you resting. At least stay here until your injuries are all closed up and your ribs aren’t snapped like twigs anymore.”

“Don’t call people’s bones twigs. They’re just a little cracked.”

“Says the guy who can’t even hug Ellie.”

Owl twisted a little in his bed, expression darkening mutinously. “... I’m bored. Too much free time and nothing to do. And I can’t sit still with Tristan hovering over me.” Mostly because he could never tell when exactly his adoptive father was going to show up for a visit.

“Aww, but Papa Tristan’s so sweet!” Nick leaned back a little, completely relaxed. “And he’s the reason you’re staying here and getting treatment are free. Right, Ellie?”

Ellie nodded along. “Papa... gives me sweets.”

Owl jolted and leaned forward without thinking, suppressing a wince as the movement twinged his ribs. “‘Papa?’” he repeated incredulously. “Since when did you guys call him Papa? Do not tell me he won you over.”

“Who, me?” Nick pressed a hand to his chest in mock affront. “Come on, Owl, don’t be silly. He’s not gonna get me on his side just because he treated me to one measly, very delicious steak dinner.”

“Steak? You had steak? When?!”

“... Man, it was so good...” Nick mumbled.

“So tender and so yummy...” Ellie agreed.

The two giggled to themselves. Owl stared in horror. “He absolutely won you over!”

“Nuh-uh, no he didn’t.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“I don’t believe you! How do I know he didn’t turn you into his spies?”

“He didn’t, we swear.~”

“We swear.~”

A knock at the door interrupted the trio’s back and forth, followed by a head poking in – Ritz. “May I come in?” she inquired.

Owl turned to the newcomer. “Hey, Ritz,” he greeted.

“You feeling okay since you woke up?” checked Nick. “All your tests and stuff done?”

The two were treating her like normal. Ritz relaxed... but there was still a shadow of embarrassment lingering about her as she shuffled into the room, her head slightly bowed. Once she was at their sides, she bowed even lower. “I, er, wanted to... apologize, for all the trouble I caused.... I know that what I did can’t be fixed with a simple apology, of course, but still, please allow me to properly express just how truly sorry I am for what happened.”

Owl and Nick silently traded glances as she continued to spout apology after apology. When she finally paused for breath, they shrugged in unison. “What’re you talking about, Ritz?” Nick said.

“Huh?”

“You kind of always bring us trouble,” he pointed out matter-of-factly. “Why’s this time any different?”

Ritz opened her mouth to argue, but upon reflection closed it again. “... That... I suppose that’s true,” she admitted. In fact, it was altogether too common. “But this time was truly embarrassing. Because I was so immature and inexperienced... you all suffered so horribly....” Her eyes flicked up for a brief second to the bandages wrapped around Owl’s skull before flicking away again. “You were even hurt....”

Nick rolled his eyes. “No, really, why’re you saying this now? We knew from the start you were an untrained, incompetent cop.~~~”

A growl rumbled from Ritz’s chest. Normally she’d snap back with something like, “And just who are you calling incompetent?!” But today, she couldn’t muster up the energy for her usual retorts. She curled in on herself with a pained grimace, her feet tapping anxiously against the floor.

Yes, her feet. Attached to her completely normal human legs.

Ritz had reverted back to a human form, no trace of the Leviathan she’d been to be seen. That stark-white, mermaid-esque Demon she’d been almost seemed like a dream... but no, it had been real. She had become Leviathan. It was an indelible, inescapable fact.

“Don’t worry about me,” said Owl. “I’ll heal up soon enough. I’m more worried about you – you’re a carrier now of the Black Rose Disease, that has to be a big shock.” Mental and emotional scars wouldn’t heal as easily as his physical wounds and could open up again at the drop of a hat.

“It is a shock, but....” Ritz placed a hand over her heart and gave a single nod. “I’ve decided to see this as an opportunity. There are certain things that only a concerned party could understand when trying to relate to those who struggle under unfair oppression.”

“Ritz....”

“Besides, I can’t stay depressed forever. I was lucky to be highly compatible with the disease, but even so, there’s a chance the Demon will manifest again someday, and I require practice. If I pretend it never happened, everyone around me may be placed in danger again.” Ritz straightened up, eyes blazing. “I need to do everything in my power to make sure that doesn’t happen!”

Owl’s eyebrows shot up. “... You’re so strong,” he murmured. She’d been so flustered at first, but she’d bounced back remarkably fast. Was it the unshaking, unwavering belief in her core that refused to bend or break? Or....

“That’s a police officer for you!” cheered Nick, completely oblivious to Owl’s contemplation.

Ritz pouted. “Even though I’m ‘incompetent’ and ‘untrained,’” she grumbled.

Nick side-eyed her, his eyes narrowed like a cat’s. “Well, I mean, yeah? But you’re the most honest, hardworking cop of them all. You’re the coolest.” He sounded like he was just stating another fact of life. The sky was blue, the grass was green, Ritz was amazing...

... and her face instantly flamed red. “I-I know – I know that I’m ‘cool!’” she hissed as she turned away to hide her blush.

Nick twisted to try and peer at her face with a leer. “Oh-ho, what’s this? Are you feeling shy? Are you all red?”

“I – I am not shy! You’re just mean!!”

“Aww~~, and here I was thinking I distinctly remembered you calling me ‘clever!’”

“I never said that!”

Ritz continued to twist away from Nick’s prying eyes, even as he continued to twist to try and get a better look. Owl watched the two with the distinct sense that he was intruding on something again, despite the fact that this was his hospital room. Nick noticed his partner being quiet and glanced over. “What’s with that grin on your face, Owl? You’re thinking something weird again, aren’t you?”

“No, just reflecting. Looks like I made the right call.”

“What d’you mean?”

“Just, you’ve always called Ritz a police officer.”

“I mean... yeah? ‘Cause she is. ‘Course I did.”

“Right. Of course you did.”

To Nick, it was a given, and that warmed Ritz’s heart more than anything else. Nick didn’t see her as a “woman,” a “li’l miss,” or a “girly” – she was a “police officer,” and that was that. At some point his simple acceptance of who she was had become something that always brought her joy, and he’d become someone she could trust wholeheartedly.

It was for that exact reason that she’d reacted so strongly to his voice back then.

With a sarcastic little chuckle, Owl muttered, “Well, it looked like the chocolate cake also had a hand in bringing you back to your senses.”

As if in response, Nick sniffed the air. “Hey, d’you smell something sweet?”

“Sweet?”

“Yeah, sweet and... savory? Hm? Where’s it coming from?” Nick prowled the room like a bloodhound, his nose twitching in the air as his meandering path slowly took him toward the door.

Owl’s eyes tracked him in turn. “Oi, Nick?”

Ritz sniffed the air as well. “You’re right...” she murmured. “Something does smell sweet.”

“Me, too...” added Ellie.

What were they all picking up? Owl’s head rose, nostrils twitching –

Knock knock. Jack poked his head in. “Hey, Owl, you’ve got a package,” he announced, holding out the sizable basket in his arms. “Someone left if at the entrance, addressed to ‘the people of the Owl Detective Agency.’”

“Really?” Nick bounced on the balls of his feet. “What is it? Who’s it from?”

“I’m not sure... the card only says ‘B.’”

“‘B’...?” Nick accepted the basket from Jack and sniffed it. His face lit up. “The smell’s coming from this!~” he crowed and yanked the top open.

“Oi, be gentle,” Owl admonished, brows furrowed a touch anxiously.

As Nick opened the basket, a delectable scent filled the room. Nick peeked inside, as did Ritz and Ellie. “Ah!” he gasped.

“Chocolate cake!” cried Ritz.

“And a meat pie, too!~~”

“Freshly made...!”

They stared starry-eyed at the glossy cake and crisp meat pie stacked inside the basket. All three of them started hopping up and down in their excitement.

“It looks so yummy....”

“Yes! Awesome! Let’s all dig in!~~”

“Hold on, you two, let’s not be hasty. This is a gift for Owl, so we can’t just grab whatever we like ourselves,” reasoned Ritz.

“Ritz, you’re drooling.”

“I – I am not!”

Owl watched their lively discussion from his bed with raised eyebrows. “Wait, are you guys really going to eat something from someone who we don’t know sent it?”

“But we do know!” Nick shot back. “This has to be from Byron! We’d know his cakes anywhere!”

“He’s absolutely right! These are Byron’s cakes without a doubt!”

“It has to be.” They were completely confident that they were right.

“... ‘B,’ huh.” Owl took the card from Jack and squinted at the “B” scribbled on the little square. The tenseness in his shoulders eased a little. It was, admittedly, vexing that Byron would send a care package without actually showing his face, but Owl simply sunk back into bed told the others, “One slice each,” before turning his head to stare out the window.

The sky outside was still the color of lead.

“It’s still not back,” he muttered to himself. “... Can it come back?”

As memories from the previous day flooded his mind, his eyes slipped shut. Two figures flashed through his mind’s eye – one vampire, and one....

“What were they doing...? What are they hiding?”

After they’d defeated Krinos, they’d both left again without explaining anything. He still had no idea what they were up to or why.

“Am I not strong enough to help them...?” A strange sense of alienation, of powerlessness, swept over Owl. “Will they ever tell us what they’re up to?”

And then there was what that young man had shouted at the light back then. He’d been barely conscious, so he hadn’t gotten a good look at the guy, but he did hear what he’d muttered as Byron flew off into the sky:

“I feel so awful for you... Byron.”

Owl slowly opened his eyes again to the ever-overcast sky and a plate in front of him bearing a meat pie and a slice of the cake. “Let’s eat together, Owl,” said Ellie.

“Yeah, thanks.” Owl took the plate.

“There’s seven slices each of the pie and the cake,” she told him. “Can we give some to Doctor Jack and Ralph and Hannah?”

“Of course.” Owl reached for his food, ready to take a bite... but then he paused with a blink. “Wait. You said seven slices?”

“Hm?”

“There’s seven slices each? Of the cake and the pie?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“....”

“What is it?”

“There’s not enough.”

“Huh?”

Owl traced a circle in the air with his finger, then sliced up, down, and diagonally both ways. “Usually when you’re cutting a whole cake, you’d make four cuts to make eight pieces, right?”

“Oh... you’re right. They were both missing one....” Ellie peered into the basket. “Where do you think it went?”

It was easy to cut a cake into eight pieces. It was much harder to cut one into only seven. That meant either one slice had been removed from the start... or....

Owl stared down at the pie and cake on his plate, then glanced over to Nick. His partner noticed his gaze and turned, his cheeks bulging already. “What?” he said thickly, head tilted.

The detective’s mouth twisted in a pensive frown. “... Are you cheating on me, Nick?” he asked.

“Cheating?~~” Nick stared at Owl. What was he talking about? Yeah, he’d accused Owl of cheating before, but never in a million years did he expect him to flip the script like that.

“I was wondering... if maybe you’d made some other friends besides me,” the detective muttered.

“Other friends? You mean like Brat?”

“No, I mean the person who gave you those weird things.”

“What weird things?”

“Those cards you had?” Owl traced a rectangle in midair and leaned toward Nick. “With the alchemy infused in them?”

“Ehh?~~” Nick’s shoulders slumped almost comically, very obviously not meeting Owl’s eyes. “Those were... what were they, huh?~~”

“Uh-huh?”

“....”

Owl stared at him doubtfully. “Just so we’re clear, I’m grilling you about that later,” he told his partner, then took a big bite of pie. The savory batter crunched and squished as delicious, juicy meat flooded his mouth. A groan unconsciously bubbled out of his throat at the superb, nostalgic flavor.

He ate silently, bite by bite, until in the blink of an eye the slice of pie had vanished down his gullet.

And as he wiped the last traces of sauce from his lips with his finger, a bubbly voice gasped and said:

“Ah, Louis! Looks like you’ve got something good there!~~”

“Pipe down while we’re in the labs, Tino.”

“What’cha got? And where’s mine?~~”

“There’s none for you. I only had the one slice of each.”

In a lab at the Royal College, a young man eating his lunch in a corner of the room shoved a young lady away as she came running at him and swept away the pie crumbs scattered across his textbook. The slice of cake by his elbow, however, remained untouched.

“What about the cake?” she asked.

“No, that’s mine.”

“Cheapskaaate!~ C’mon, just one bite....”

“Not a chance.” And to keep the greedy girl from claiming his prize, the young man stuffed the whole slice of cake into his mouth in one go. Once he swallowed, he told her, “Can’t go to battle on an empty stomach, right?”

“What’re you talking about? You gonna go fight someone, Louis?”

“... Not really a fight, but....”

He licked his lips and stood up, shutting his textbook as he went.

“I’m going to go make a declaration of war, I guess.”

He gathered his things and left the lab. Tino stuck her tongue out at his retreating back. “What a weirdo!”

END

original written by Nagaya Kawaji here