#i am so sorry to everyone who watched bloom for him

[pynkhues]

https://www.tumblr.com/sad-gay-vampire/765376323286974464

this gifset makes my brain go brrrrrr. also that last gif? his teensy tiny waist?? the jutting hip bone???? someone call Louis asap

also it's so funny how obviously Sam got jacked specifically to play Lestat. he's committed alright

Hahaha, yeah, he definitely got buffer for Lestat (and his leading man era generally, probably), but his ribcage and his hip bone in that last gif.....if I speak...

I'd never noticed the mole on his lower abdomen either, and given I'm writing smut right now, I am !! Taking note!! Haha.

[demonpiratehuntress]

the only one

Portgas D. Ace x F!Reader

summary - Ace was always a flirt in whatever bars you went to, but once he's in love with you that changes.

warnings - none

a/n: i forgot to add this part in "marry me" so i just decided to make it its own fic. it was haunting me

When you first met Ace, he was perhaps the biggest flirt you had ever come across in your life. Anywhere and anytime, if you were in a bar he would be chatting up almost every local woman he met. It never used to bother you when you were just friends, but once you developed a crush on him it became a bit of a problem.

Most nights you would end up going back to the ship alone, and even though he wouldn't do anything with them - as evident when he returned to the ship after you alone - it still ate away at you. Made you feel things you didn't want to feel, unpleasant emotions that had you crying and sobbing into your pillow late at night when no one could hear.

Or at least, when you thought no one could hear.

Ace's room was next to yours, and every night he was absolutely crushed to hear your sobs. He was never sure what caused them, but he knew you wouldn't tell him. So he set out to discover the cause himself, and did as such on another island trip.

Noticing the way your face fell when he left the table to go talk to some girls at the bar, it instantly hit him that you were hurting because of him. And that was his first sign that you liked him.

That's when everything changed.

Once Ace was sure you had a crush on him, he stopped trying to suppress his feelings for you. They came out in full bloom, and his behaviour in bars and pubs completely changed, noticeable to everyone who knew him.

When Ace decided to show he was deeply in love with you, you noticed.

Every bar you went to after that involved him sitting right next to you the whole time, drunkenly flirting with you and you alone. Telling you how pretty you are, how cute you looked when you were so red, and how sweet you always were to him. No matter how many pretty girls were in the bar that day, he was glued to you.

"Ace," you would giggle and push his head off your shoulder. "Those girls in the corner are eyeing you out, they're pretty."

The raven-haired commander pouted, not even shooting them a glance, "But (Name), no one is prettier than youuuuu." He smiled, dropping his head back onto your shoulder. His breath reeked of alcohol, so you just dismissed it as drunken rambling, your face bright red.

But then there were times when he didn't drink at all, and still ignored anyone other than you trying to get with him.

"Sorry, can't talk right now."

You watched him dismiss yet another pretty woman as he made his way back to the table, handing you another drink. He plopped down in his seat next to you, offering you his goofiest grin yet.

"Ace, you just-"

He shrugged, still grinning at you, "I didn't do anything."

"But that girl-"

"What girl?"

He was staring at you, awestruck by your beauty. His eyes were only ever on you these days, and nothing changed that. He didn't look at anyone else, never finding the need to, since he was so hopelessly in love with you. Even when you went to go get drinks for the group, Ace would watch you go and come back, his eyes stuck on your figure. He would stare with the most loving, adoring gleam in his eyes, feeling butterflies each time you returned his smile.

You were still oblivious, "Ace, I think you should talk to one of them. They seem to like you, and you need a girlfriend."

"Well I don't like them," he replied, suddenly leaning forward, "And I already know who I want as my girlfriend."

"Oh." Your face fell, but he was quick to make you smile again.

"(Name), you're so dumb."

"Am not!"

"Are too! I stare at you in every bar and all you think about is me talking to other girls!"

You blushed hard, stuttering and stammering out a nonsense reply, but you found it difficult to argue with that.

"Ace, you deserve better than me. And they're prettier."

"If I really thought that," he leaned in so close that your lips almost touched, "I wouldn't be sitting here with you, would I?" He grinned again. "You're the most beautiful woman in this bar, and every other bar, so I'm happy right where I am."

Then you started dating, and all Ace would do in bars was show you off. To both men and women that approached him, even if it had nothing to do with the conversation.

"Did you see my girlfriend?" He would ask them, drunkenly. "She's the HOTTEST-" Marco would usually have to drag him away before he spilled something more explicit.

Any time a woman would come up to him, Ace would hightail it out of there and do one of two things. One, he would hide behind you and grip you so tightly as he points you in the direction of the daring woman. Two, he would perch himself on your lap and kiss all over your face with his arms around your neck. Each one depends on how drunk he is.

"No thanks, I have a girlfriend."

"My girlfriend's right over there."

"My girlfriend is prettier than you."

"(Nameeeeeeeeeeee), come and tell them that you're my girlfriend!"

He's so in love that he doesn't even pay attention to anyone but you wherever you go. If you tell him to drink less than last time, he will. If you tell him to stay at the table, he will. He will sit you on his lap and lock you in his arms, not allowing you to move for the rest of the evening. He usually falls asleep against your neck, but you don't mind.

But, generally, when Ace is with you in a bar he will keep you glued to his side so everyone knows that he is taken. The brave ones who still approach will usually have to deal with you, and he loves to watch.

Once you're married, you best believe this man is going into every bar yelling to anyone who will listen that he's married, that he has a wife, or that his wife is the hottest person in the universe. He clings to you and makes sure people know you're married, even if they are just passing by and have no intention of talking to either of you.

"How times have changed," you teased him one day, sitting on his lap in yet another bar. "A while back you'd be flirting with every woman in this bar."

"That was before I knew you liked me!" He protested, blushing in embarrassment. "And anyway, that's what happens when you find the one."

"The one?" You blushed.

"Yessss," he smiled happily, pecking your lips. "You're the one. My one. The only one I will ever want and ever need." He peppered your face with kisses. "To me, you're the only woman in these bars."

"Good."

[thinkinonsense]

Francesca

old!logan howlett x fem!reader

cw: angst, mentions of death, sad logan, a bit of fluff

wc: 800+

a/n: not sure if this will be the last part of the mini-series or not. i think i'll only add more if im inspired. i have a new mini-series idea for old man!logan so be on the lookout for that in a week or so.

hozier mini-series masterlist

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

Logan had lost a lot in his life. He watched people he cared about die right before his eyes; the ultimate curse of living such a long life. Everyone he loved had to go at some point, and for the most part, he accepted that until you entered his life.

He did everything he could to ensure your safety, and for the most part, it worked. The only place where you weren't protected was in his nightmares.

Ever since you two met, the nightmares appear less and less but they also never fully disappear either. Logan still wakes up in cold sweats and haunting images of your bloody body dead in his arms.

"Hey! Hey! I'm alright, honey." You whispered in an attempt to bring him back to reality. "I'm here. I'm right here."

The only thing that helps him calm down is when you place one of his hands over your heart; skin to skin, feeling your heartbeat pulse and knowing that you are indeed alive and lying next to him.

Logan's heavy breathing eases after a few moments. He carefully wraps you into his arms, placing you on his chest. You knew in times like these that Logan needed to feel you.

"No one's going to hurt me." You assure him.

"We don't know for sure..." He sighs. "and I can't risk that."

"I know for sure. You know how I am so certain that no one will hurt me?" You don't allow time for Logan to answer. Your fingers lace themselves with his, bringing this hand up to his and softly placing kisses over the slits in between his knuckles. "Because I feel safest with you and these claws are part of the reason why."

Logan wasn't one to blush or feel all mushy deep inside himself but those little kisses amazed him. He admired your kindness and patience towards him. It took him forever to understand how you did it.

"Sorry for waking you up, princess." He says, trailing his fingertips up and down your back. "Didn't mean to scare ya'."

"Do you honestly think I scare that easily?" Your light giggle almost makes Logan smile.

"Guess not." He shrugs, admiring how a sliver of moonlight catches on your face. "But in any other normal relationship you wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit-"

"Hey!" You whisper, springing up to fully face him now, soft hands holding each side of his face. "This isn't bullshit."

"It is, sweetheart." Logan sighs. "I'm selfish."

"How are you selfish?"

"Because you deserve to live a long life with someone who won't damn you."

"I don't care if you damn me!" Your voice raised, not in anger but in passion. "I love you. I love all of you. When they cut me open someday that's all they will find; my love for you pouring from inside of me."

Logan pulls you impossibly closer, afraid of you slipping away. His heart pounded with love; beating solely for your existence.

"Heaven couldn't house a love like ours."

There's a heaviness in your heart as you look into Logan's hazel eyes. even after all these years, it broke your heart that Logan always felt like you were made of sand. sure, you weren't a mutant like him but you wouldn't go down without a fight. he's always afraid that someone from his past will come for revenge and you'll be the one to pay for it.

"I don't want you to be so worried, lo.." you whisper, thumb soothing the salt and pepper beard that's bloomed over the last few days. "when my time comes, I don't want you to feel responsible for it."

Death was always a sensitive topic for both of you. your death, more specifically because someday it will come no matter if either of you is ready or not. Logan doesn't think he can live without you; you tell him that he's survived before you and will survive after you. he doesn't believe you.

"I've waited all my life for you. every agonizing, torturous moment brought me to you." his voice starts to strain. "now, you are all I have left to live for... so, when you're gone, babydoll, I won't be far behind you."

Tears roll down your cheek. overwhelmed with love and fear because you can't stop Logan from taking his own life if you die. he lays you back down on his chest carefully.

Logan had seen everything the world had to offer him; most of it was utter shit until he was graced with your presence. all he wanted to do with the rest of his life was shield you from all of the horrid darkness he had seen. you were too pure and he intended to keep you far away from it all, for as long as the two of you walked this earth.

[traumxrei-archive]

【 death scares 】

prompt #6: Oh, Great Seven, he thought they were going to die. Please don’t ever scare him like that again (ft. sebek zigvolt, jade leech, leona kingscholar)

gn! prefect (you/yours), drabbles, word count: 1.6k

a/n: hello, i finished my research proposal so i have time before my next deadline to post this >:DD it's angsty asf, but i made sure that it was hurt/comfort so dw i gotchu guys ^^

Sebek Zigvolt

Sebek wasn't someone who usually got scared. He knew better than to succumb to such feelings that all but interfered with one's ability to act. It was one of the things he learned when he was training to be one of the Young Master's guards.

But when he saw you dangling from a broom midair, Sebek felt all the hairs on his arms raise. You were barely holding on, and he could see everyone shouting in alarm from where you were.

If you fell, then you would...

Sebek gritted his teeth, "Give me one of your brooms, humans!" His voice boomed over all the commotion, turning heads.

The person nearest to him stuttered, "But brooms are only meant to hold one perso—"

"Does that matter?" Sebek grabbed the broom out of the other's hands. "If you don't do anything, that human is going to fall!"

He hopped onto the broom, flying to where you were before shouting, "Human! You need to let go and get on my broom!"

"I can't!" You cried, your arms shaking with effort. "You'll get hurt, Sebek!"

"Human, I am ten times more durable than you," Sebek said as calmly as he could, bringing his broom closer to yours. "If I fell from this height and got hurt, it'd be an insult to the Young Master!"

"Sebek!"

"What is it?"

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"I can't," Sebek watched as your fingers started to slip. "But I'll promise we won't fall."

It was at that moment when you fell. He felt his broom shift under your weight, and he strained to reinforce it with magic.

But you were here.

You were safe, and that was all that mattered to Sebek. He could feel the pounding of your heart against his back where you clutched onto his uniform.

"What were you thinking?" Sebek ranted, his anger finally surfacing as they made their way to the ground. "Human, I'll have you know that you could've died or been seriously injured!"

"Not only that," Sebek turned to face you. "The fact that— You're...crying...?"

You held on to one of his sleeves, the tears dripping onto the grass below, "I'm s-sorry, Sebek, I didn't mean to...to do that, it just—"

Sebek sighed, resting a hand on your shoulder, "It is alright. You are safe now, human, I was just—" Worried...? Worried? The Sebek Zigvolt, worried about a mere human? But really, who was he kidding? You weren't just a mere human to Sebek, were you?

"I didn't want to see you hurt, is all," He finished lamely. And he could see your eyes sparkling— this time not with unshed tears. Great Sevens, what kind of feeling was currently strangling his heart? Was it...fondness?

Sebek felt his ears warm, quickly brushing off the blooming feelings in his heart, "I-It would be best to get your hands checked out, I shall take you to the nurse!"

You smiled at that. A small smile, but to Sebek it meant the world. He continued on, rambling about broom safety as he led you to the infirmary. If it meant that you were smiling and not crying anymore, then Sebek would more than gladly fill up the silence with his voice.

Jade Leech

Of all the things to happen today, he didn't think watching you put yourself in mortal peril was going to be one of them. Jade swallowed, trying to clear the stuffy feeling that seemed to sufuse his whole body.

He was waiting for you outside of the infirmary, the initial shock after the accident having finally subsided. Still, he couldn't get the picture of your body lying prone on the ground out of his mind.

"It was due to incorrect ratios," The nurse had said. "The alchemy potion had turned into a potent airborne poison. And if you had arrived any later..."

Jade didn't want to think about that part.

But soon enough, the nurse called him in. As he walked up to your bed, he couldn't bring himself to speak first. You weren't watching him, clearly focused on trying to open your water bottle.

"Let me," Jade's voice escaped him, and he saw your eyes widen when you saw him. He opened the bottle, handing it back to you without another word.

"Thank you."

Jade didn't know what else to say, his eyes following you as you drank. His mind brought back the image of you being unnaturally still. It was morbid. The thought made him sick, yet he couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Jade-senpai," You met his gaze and he felt his throat constrict. "Are you...mad at me?"

Jade felt his lips twitch, "Why, pray tell, would I be mad?"

"I...I'm sorry, I wasn't being careful enough," You bit your lip, and he couldn't bear to be upset with you any longer. He sighed, taking a seat beside you.

He very slowly slipped off his glove, talking all the while, "Next time you find yourself having to do an alchemy assignment alone, do invite me."

"But you're busy," There was clear hesitation in your voice, even as his hand tentatively held yours.

"Kind to a fault," Jade said shakily, feeling unsteady now that he could feel the warmth of your skin against his own. "There's no need for that. Your safety is more important, and I would gladly spend time with you. At least next time take one of your friends with you just...just in case." Jade pressed his lips together. He didn't mean to nag. He didn't mean to talk much at all, but the sight of you pried all his feelings out him so effortlessly. He really couldn't win against you.

And like you knew exactly what he wanted to hear, you smiled, "I'm okay now. See?" Your palm cupped over his, bringing his fingers to rest against your neck. And sure enough, he could feel your pulse thrumming under his fingers.

Jade closed his eyes before opening them again, "Right. Now then, I will be overseeing your recovery from now on." He clapped, his magic swirling through the air to tug your blankets into a more acceptable state.

"Wait, what–"

"I'll contact your friends to let you rest for now."

"No, senpai, wait–"

"Surely you aren't objecting to rest, Prefect?" Jade smiled as politely as he could and he watched as you shuddered. "After all you almost di–"

"I'll be in your care then," You huffed, before patting his arm. "Just make sure you don't over do it."

"I won't. I'll be taking very good care of you."

Leona Kingscholar

"The Prefect got into an accident."

Leona couldn't understand how those words filled him with such dread. He couldn't even wait for Ruggie to finish, he was already rushing to the infirmary.

What did Ruggie mean by you got into an accident? What kind of accident was it? Were you okay? Sevens forbid that you were...

Leona gritted his teeth as he arrived. Irrational anger and worry wasn't like him. He took a deep breath, schooling his emotions before knocking on the door.

"Kingscholar," The nurse acknowledged. "To what do I–"

"The Prefect."

"...Right," They nodded before leading him toward where you were. The curtains were drawn and he couldn't...see you. "Don't do anything too rash."

Leona nodded, drawing back the curtain. His stomach dropped at the sight of you, your head wrapped up in bandages, and plasters covering your arms and legs.

You were awake, and you blinked as he stood there, "Leona-senpai..."

Leona heaved out a harsh breath, sitting at the edge of the bed. He didn't know what to do. Not when that ugly mix of anger and worry was bubbling at the base of his throat. Instead all he did was stare, as if any second an ugly red would mar the bandage on your head.

"I, uhm," You spoke first, your head turned downward. "It wasn't anyone's fault. We...had some rain at Ramshackle, and it leaked inside... The staircase, it... Ramshackle's old, so..."

"You're telling me the staircase fell in on you?" There was a surprised look on your face as he spoke. Even he couldn't understand the flatness of his voice.

"I...yeah," You clenched your fists. "Grim's okay, he was at the foyer when it happened, but..."

"So you almost died," At your nod, Leona felt the anger morph straight into fear. Died? The herbivore? You almost died?

He scowled at the thought as he pried your hands from the sheets, "Stop that. You're gonna make your injuries worse." His eyes met yours, and he could see the fear there too— in the way you trembled despite the day being warm.

"Herbivore..." He muttered before moving closer to you. He was mindful of your bandages as he held you, trying to ease your shaking.

"I was scared," You murmured into his shoulder. "I thought that it was the end, and—"

"You're here now," Leona soothed, and he wasn't sure who he was trying to comfort. "You'll be alright, herbivore." You pulled away with a weak smile and it took all of Leona's self control not to pull you back to him.

He sighed, hanging his head, "You...you drive me crazy. Really, do I have to cast protective spells on you to keep you safe?"

Your hand settled over his, "I won't object if you do. It might come in handy sometime."

"That's not the point. And you should sleep," Leona gently pushed you against the pillows. "How are you gonna get better enough to ask Crowley for more budget if you don't rest?"

"And..." Your voice was quiet; inquisitive. "You'll stay?"

"I wasn't planning on leaving," Leona braced his head against his arm. "Now sleep." That seemed to appease you, and soon enough, he could hear the steady sound of your breathing fill the room. And in the quiet of the room, Leona vowed never to let you fall into danger again. Not if he could do something about it.

ty for reading the hurt/comfort !! i hope that it uh, appeased your angst chasing for now, and if you'd like to read more of my stuff, check out my masterlist <3

[dilemmaontwolegs]

For the Love of God(dess) || CL16 {2}

Summary: Greek God/dess AU. You show Charles a part of your world and he shows you a part of his. Warnings: angst, fluff WC: 2.6k Part One || Two

The old stone path should have been worn for all the centuries that it had been used as the entrance to Olympus but it was still as perfect as it was the first time you walked it. Nothing ever changed, not since the war ended and a new hierarchy settled among the gods. For two thousand years nothing had changed in the Eternal City.

“Love, what have you done?” The imposing form of Ares filled the road to your temple, his arms the size of your waist. His molten red eyes barely glanced at the man at your side before snapping back with a double take. “Kàrolos?”

“Uh, so everyone keeps saying,” he answered quietly, his eyes sizing up the God of War as he spoke for the first time since arriving through the portal. “And you are?”

“Intrigued,” Ares said with a smirk. “Good luck.”

The god vanished and Charles rubbed at his head, murmuring, “Fucking weird dream.”

“You’ll wake up soon,” you sighed. It might not be the wake up he expected, but it was coming - you just had to find Athena. “I know someone who can help make sense of this, we just need to get you back to my place first. It’s right over h-” your words froze as turned towards your temple. 

Where grey stone walls had stood, great white pillars of marble rose. Where empty garden beds lay, hundreds of white roses bloomed. 

Your temple had been restored.

“This is your home?” Charles asked, a little awestruck by the sounds of it. It was quite amusing that he walked among the gods but he found beauty in a building of all things.

“Our home.”

“I have a home - in Monaco.”

You opened your mouth to argue but saw the quiet desperation in his features. He was clinging to his humanity and it forced you to remember that this wasn’t the Kàrolos you knew, this was a stranger. The only resemblance they held were their eyes, but they were the window to the soul and they still had the same soul. 

“Let’s just go inside.”

The doors beyond the marble arch swung open on your approach and the interior had changed just as much. The vast room was open to the sunlight and a fountain filled the centre, the sound of bubbling water a calming feature. Open arches led to more rooms but you made your way to the furthest one. 

Charles followed sedately into the bedroom and out onto the balcony that overlooked the city. Above rose the peak which Zeus had claimed, his golden palace glittering beneath Apollo’s sunshine. Below, the forests of Artemis spread far and wide with lush green canopies and the Orlias river winding through it. 

Your palms warmed on the stone railing as you watched a herd of deer pick their way to the river for a drink. “I know you have a million questions and I’m sorry for…everything.”

Charles’ shoulder leaned into yours as he drank in the scenery but he jumped back when an owl swooped in, the spotted wings brushing his cheek. A flash of light burst from the owl and bare feet touched down on the balcony. 

“Hmmm, you have had quite the night, Love,” she said with an appreciative look over Charles. She reached out to his face with a smile and wiggled her fingers. “May I?”

“Why? What are you going to do? Who are you?”

“So many questions,” she laughed. “I am Athena, I am knowledge, and if you want the answers then you will let me touch you.”

He looked to you for help and gods damned if it didn’t make something in your chest hurt before you nodded. He swallowed the fear of the unknown and trusted you as he stepped into her waiting hands. Lightning shattered his brain, blinding him with flashes of images that moved too fast to see. But he knew. Knowledge expanded and exploded in his mind at an exponential rate until he knew everything. Thousands of years of history burned into his retina in less than a second. The history of the gods and goddesses that called this place home. The history of the wars and the destruction it brought. The history of you and everything you lost.

He knew it all. And it hurt more than the pain that splintered his head.

He didn’t even realise he collapsed until he felt the softest mattress dip beneath his weight as you laid him down. Your concerned face appeared above him, the sun catching your hair and weaving a golden halo around the strands. A thought crossed his mind and he laughed, shaking his head.

“What?” you asked curiously as his fingers twitched like he had to fight the urge to reach out to you.

“When we met I thought you looked like a goddess, but of course you do. You are.” He looked to the balcony but the owl had already taken flight back to her palace on the hill. “I’m not him, you know.”

“I know.” The man you loved had died a long time ago. You had your time together, no matter how short, and you had mourned for him. It was time to move on. “I don’t want you to be Kàrolos. I want to learn who you are, Charles.”

“And what if you don’t like who I am?”

“I am the Goddess of Love,” you teased, climbing onto the bed to sit beside him. “My arrows don’t work unless there is compatibility between the souls. Psyche is probably better off explaining that but my power only amplifies what attraction is already there. Can’t say I have been on the receiving end of it before. This will take some getting used to.”

“What will?”

“The want, the need to touch you,” you confessed as you looked down at your hands that gripped the bedspread tightly. “It is difficult to be this close and not reach out.”

Charles frowned. “You loved Kàrolos but you didn’t use an arrow?”

“Not everyone needs an arrow to fall in love. Like I said, it only amplifies. People find love on their own everyday, only some need a little poke in the right direction. Those friends who have been dancing around each other for years, the abused who don’t think they are worthy of being loved, the colleagues who only flirt at work. The fates weave their tapestry with a trillion threads of life and when there is a snag, like two lovers who failed to meet, then I repair it so the loom can continue its creation.”

Charles blinked as he began to understand how complex the roles of the gods were. “Fuck.” 

You laughed and his lips tugged up at the sound. 

“I don’t mind, if you want to touch me,” he admitted quietly, reaching for your hand and unfurling it from the bedding. His hand was larger than yours but your fingers settled between his comfortably and your body sagged with relief. “So what do we do now?”

You shrugged, not exactly knowing the answer yourself. Time was plentiful so there was no rush, but you were eager to find out who it was your heart had been given to. “What do you enjoy?”

Charles’ smile dropped as he suddenly remembered the world he had left behind. “Shit, we need to go back. I have a race this week.”

–

“Breaking News: Peace had been brokered between nations all over the globe in a dramatic turn of events. For more information we will be heading to our correspondent at the United Nations HQ…”

Charles turned off the TV in the hotel but he didn’t miss the way your eyes remained fixed on the screen, or the way your lip wobbled. Crossing the room, he grabbed your hands and bent his knees so you were eye to eye. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s my fault,” you whispered through the lump in your throat. “I failed my duties.”

He looked back at the TV where you could still see the breaking news. Peace had come after two thousand years of skirmishes and wars on the mortal plane. There should have never been wars to begin with. 

“That isn’t your fault,” he argued, but he had the knowledge of the gods, he understood how your power worked. The gods were a fragile ecosystem that required balance. You were the balance to Ares’ power and his effect on the world.

“I was weakened when Kàrolos died, I lost half of myself, half of my strength. It left Ares unchecked - of course it is my fault.”

Charles wrapped his arms around you, tucking your head into the crook of his neck so you couldn’t stare at the TV. “You’re making things right now, that’s what matters.”

“It’s not even me,” you laughed bitterly. “It’s you. I couldn’t do this on my own.”

��Come on,” he said as he started to drag you towards the door.

“Where are we going?”

“You need a distraction, and I know just the thing.” 

Charles drove to the circuit he would be practising on in the morning and it was relatively quiet as he led you through the paddock. A few teenagers excitedly asked for photos with him and you smiled as he stopped to talk with each one. He was so different to Kàrolos. Kàrolos was a warrior, proud and unmoving. Most children gave him a wide berth when they saw the scars that littered his body. It wasn’t in him to idly chatter or placate others, the only soft spot he had was for you. 

“You’re very patient,” you commented as he waved goodbye and continued to the edge of the track. 

He smiled shyly and looked at his shoes as he shrugged. “I try my best to talk to fans, especially when I have the time. Take a few laps with me?”

You followed his gaze to a Ferrari that was parked in the pit lane. “I’ve never been in a car.”

“No, really?” His eyes were wide with disbelief and you laughed at the innocence in those eyes. 

“I go where I want, I’ve never needed to drive.”

He grabbed your hand and excitement flowed through you as he set a quick pace to the car. “Trust me?” he asked as he opened the passenger door.

You were immortal so it didn’t matter if he crashed. Sure, it would hurt but you would eventually heal. But the question felt heavier than just asking if you trusted him not to crash, more that you could trust him to keep you safe. “Yes, I trust you, Charles.”

You slipped into the seat that was moulded to cradle you before he bent down and buckled the clips in for you. His cologne reached your nose at the close proximity and you inhaled deeper as you committed the rich scent to your memory. 

“Is this comfortable?” he asked as he tugged the harness.

“It is…managable.” Restrictive, confined, and claustrophobic came to mind but you didn’t want to worry him as he went around to his side. There was energy in his step that had been missing in Olympus, an ambience that brightened the moment he arrived at the racing track, and you wanted to keep that light in his aura. 

“We’ll take the first one slow,” he promised as he started the engine and gripped the wheel. 

You had flown into battle on the back of a pegasus, you had held onto the fins of charybdis as they raced through Posiden’s domain. Nothing came close to the thrill and the speed of Charles’ car. 

Your heart jumped up your throat as you were thrown back into the seat and then the world around you blurred. Everything faded away except for the window ahead and you didn’t dare blink in case you missed a moment. There were no thoughts on the what ifs of the future, or the regrets of your past. There was only the car, and Charles grinning at you.

“Are you sure this is slow?” you asked with a giddy laugh as the adrenaline reached your head and the initial surprise was erased.

“Hold on, cherie.” The engine roared louder and like a beast it leapt forward. A scream of exhilaration filled the car as Charles lassoed the metal beast and wrangled it through each corner until he finally slowed to return to the pit lane. 

“I finally understand the obsession,” you admitted as he parked back where he had left. Your fingers were almost stiff where they had gripped the harness over your chest and you flexed the feeling back into them before unbuckling it. “I can’t even describe it, but I feel alive - if that makes sense? I can’t think quite clearly now.”

“I understand.” Charles smiled softly and wiped away the stray tear that ran down your cheek from having your eyes wide open for so long. “It’s getting late.”

You climbed out of the car and looked up to see stars dotting the desert night sky. It felt like time stopped while you were in the car but nothing could stop time and it all came rushing back. “Can we do this again?” you asked, a little sheepish at how needy you sounded.

“Of course,” Charles promised, taking your hand as naturally as breathing. “After this race it’s winter break and I am all yours.” He stumbled and caught himself. “I mean, if you want to hang out and, uh, stuff. I don’t have any plans, but if you do we can figure something ou-”

You rose onto your toes and kissed his cheek that was turning pink in the moonlight and he fell silent. “I don’t have any plans either.”

Charles stared at your lips, still feeling the warmth on his cheek and he touched the skin as a smile tugged at his lips and he nodded to himself. “Okay. Okay.” 

“You’re cute,” you said as you felt the urge to kiss his lips next.

His nose wrinkled at the compliment. “Cute?”

“Amongst other things,” you added, biting your lip to keep your other thoughts to yourself. 

He grew confident and curled his finger under your chin, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip and pulling it free from your teeth. “You’re beautiful.”

Your lungs refused to work as his head dipped down slowly, giving you time to change your mind. You could still feel the remnants of that thrill in your veins and the charge was electric as you gave into your desire and threw your arms around his neck. The kiss started slowly, hesitation holding you both back as you tasted the chemistry, but it grew deeper as his arms curled around your waist, pulling your bodies flush. 

The track faded away as you spared one last critical thought to teleport back to the hotel room. Charles blinked as he looked around the bedroom, but the surprise turned to a smirk. “That is handy.”

“You can do it too,” you said as your fingers traced the hem of his shirt. “You can just have to picture the image in your mind.”

Cold kissed your skin and you looked down to see your own shirt had disappeared. 

“Holy shit, it worked,” he gasped. “Oh, shit, sorry.”

Your shirt returned in an instant but it was now the same shade of red as his team colours. 

“I wasn’t complaining,” you smirked but the humour dimmed as his hands came to rest on your waist that was still wrapped in red cotton. “We can take it slow, Charles.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I want you, not your regrets. I want you to be ready.” Ready for an eternity together.

Charles sat at the edge of the bed and pulled you onto his lap. “The first thing you should know about me is I have never been good at going slow,” he admitted as he cupped your cheek and crushed his lips to yours.

[magicians-abode]

"A slip of the tongue"

[Chilchuck Tims x gender neutral reader]

Warnings: none ‐ fluff ahead - one suggestive comment

At some point during the group's adventuring themselves deep into the dungeon once again, although he wasn't sure when, Chilchuck grew accustomed, in a way, to the way you treated him so differently from the rest.

You always liked to tease him and compliment him. Not like you didn't compliment the others. But you seemed to have a knack for sparing all your attention for when he was near you.

And despite his own rules of not mixing his personal life with work, he found himself sighing in annoyance at himself when he noticed how everyday he'd expect, almost too happy for his own liking, a compliment from you.

Today was no different for everyone. They'd been wondering through the halls of the fourth floor when Marcille's stomach rumbled, catching the attention of everyone.

—Sorry... so much walking is making me hungry again— she huffed, knowing damn well that Senshi would probably make them stop to cook another hearty monster based meal.

—Yeah, me too. After all, we've only had those coinbugs today as a snack. They were tasty but not that filling— (y/n) said as they placed a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder. Everyone agreed to keep walking a bit more and then they would stop to eat properly this time.

And when they reached to that point, Senshi murmured something about "keeping the young ones well nourished" and he got to work on the cooking.

Chilchuck offered to help by peeling something he didn't remember the name of right now, and (y/n) couldn't help but stare as he worked skillfully with his hands.

—Those hands would be good with a partner— they mumble to him as they decide to sit by his side. The comment makes his hands falter for a quick moment, and he looks up at them perplexed.

—Don't go around saying things like that!— he huffs to them, a spark of a blush blooming on his frowning face.—That is so inappropriate...— he mumbles with embarrassment as he goes back to peeling, and (y/n) doesn't bother containing the giggle that erupts from them.

—You're so handsome when you blush, you know that?—.

—I'm not blushing— he denied the fact— and yes I am handsome, you don't need to tell me.— Despite his own embarrassment, he didn't pass the opportunity for playful or teasing banter. That's just how he was. And that's just how they loved him.

Marcille watched them and nudged Laios, excited as if she were reading another one of the chapters on her romance novels. Laios just smiled and went back to watching Senshi cook, more interested in the food than in their companions flirting with each other.

Marcille was glad she had something else to pay attention to beside the monster cooking in front of her that she had to consume later.

—You took your gloves off...— (y/n) noticed, paying that much attention to him.

—Well I wouldn't want to... contaminate the food— he mumbled. (y/n) looked at his hands, and then at the gloves, and then at their own hands. They wondered if he wouldn't mind if they just...

Slipping the finger-less gloves on one hand and then the other, the leather cold to the touch, they gasp in an exaggerated manner just to catch his attention.

—They're so comfy— they close and open their hands, and Chilchuck turns their head to see what they were talking about.

—What is–? Hey! Who said you could borrow my gloves?— he forgets the knife and the food he finished peeling and goes to grab their hands— you desperately want to be me that much?— he chuckles teasingly, observing their fingers. —honestly they don't look half bad on you— he places the palms of his hands softly against (y/n)'s, looking at the difference.

—Oh my spells, just kiss already!— shouts an incredibly happy Marcille as she watches them interact in such an adorable way, interrupting their moment.

Chilchuck scoffs, looking away but not letting go of their hands— as if— he mumbles pretending to be upset by her "stupid" comment. In reality, his heart pounded in his chest as the idea flashed on his mind, igniting a blush on his cheeks once again.

—Ouch, you think I'm that ugly?— they pout playfully, placing a hand over their chest in fake hurt.

—I–! stop it!— he tsked, his eyes flying to look at them—I never said that!— he admits aloud.

His cheeks flush further in realization, even his ears going red at his slip.

—Aww— Marcille and Laios watch from the sidelines, amused by how they joked with each other.

—Thank you— (y/n) mumbles to him, sort of embarrassed by the sudden compliment as they watch Chilchuck cross his arms.

—Whatever...— he stands up and walks to where Senshi is, faking sudden interest in the food that was almost done.

His heart beat wildly inside his ribcage, and the thought that, maybe growing closer to one party member wasn't that bad, crossed his mind to stay there for a while.

[amirasainz]

OMG LANDO WON THE RACE TODAY. IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM. LITERALLY CAN NOT STOP CRYING. Can you write on where baby!sainz is there supporting him and literally crying as he wins.

HI loves! I'M so sorry but am I the onyl one who found the whole Carlos vs. Oscar thing so funny? Carlos whining was so funny (no hate towards any drivers!!!)

Anyway, hope you guys enjoy reading this and please send me some requests!

-XoXo

The Winner takes it all

Ah, Miami—the sun-kissed jewel in the racing calendar. Amira’s secret favorite, where the vibrant energy of the city blended seamlessly with the adrenaline-fueled atmosphere of the track. Perhaps it was the balmy weather that allowed her to flaunt those pretty summer clothes, or maybe the challenging circuit that kept drivers on their toes. And let’s not forget the food trucks—those mobile havens of culinary delight that dotted the paddock, tempting everyone with their sizzling aromas.

The livery and helmets, custom-crafted for the Miami Grand Prix, added an extra layer of excitement. Each design told a story: sleek curves and bold colors, a canvas for the drivers’ personalities. Amira reveled in the anticipation, her heart dancing to the rhythm of engines and tire screeches.

As tradition dictated, she accepted the invitation from Carlos (and the others). This year, she took her time getting ready. The morning sun painted her room in warm hues, and Amira felt it—an electric current of anticipation. Her abuela’s voice echoed in her mind: Confía en tus instintos, mi niña.

Arriving at the paddock with Carlos, Charles, and Alex, Amira’s smile bloomed. The camaraderie of the racing family enveloped her—the shared laughter, the knowing glances. The other three found her reaction endearing, a testament to her genuine love for this world. Before the engines roared to life, she soaked in the before-race energy—the hum of possibility, the promise of speed.

And then, the ex-president approached. His words hung in the air, but Amira’s instincts flared. She turned away, a subtle pivot that spoke volumes. Stranger danger, indeed. Like c'mon. Can we fault her for that?

The Miami Grand Prix—a sun-drenched spectacle where the roar of engines mingles with the rhythm of salsa beats. Finally it started. Amira stood between Alex and Pirro Ferrari, the latter a seasoned gentleman who’d seen more races than most. The anticipation hung thick in the air, a symphony of tire rubber and adrenaline.

And then it happened—the Oscar vs. Carlos showdown. Amira stifled a laugh. She loved her brother, but who did he think he was, ordering Oscar to yield? The unimpressed behavior from Oscar was priceless. But when Carlos collided with him, Amira’s amusement faded. This wasn’t the Carlos she knew—the calculated racer who danced on the edge but never lost control.

Yet destiny had other plans. As the laps ticked by, Amira’s attention shifted. Lando Norris, the boy with the perpetual grin, surged ahead. Her Lando. The backstory was simple: Lando had a crush on her, and Amira? Well, she was still figuring it out. Just a girl caught in the whirlwind of racing drama.

When Lando finally crossed the checkered flag, Amira’s heart soared. Tears escaped, unbidden. No more Lando Nowins—the boy who’d always been second. She flung herself into Pirro Ferrari’s arms, and he held her gently. “Ahh, young love,” he thought, watching the victory celebration unfold. “La cosa più dolce del mondo.” Indeed, sweetest of all.

As the cheers echoed through the paddock, Amira reveled in the euphoria of victory. Lando Norris, her Lando, had clinched his breakthrough maiden Formula 1 win at the Miami Grand Prix. The sun bathed the track in golden hues, and the air buzzed with celebration.

But then, a familiar voice cut through the noise. “Amira! Come join us, sweetie.” Zac Brown and Andrea Stella stood near the Ferrari box, beckoning her over. She glanced at Mr. Ferrari, who nodded with a smile. The McLaren bosses pulled her towards the fence. They knew better than to put her in the front row; Lando would undoubtedly leap over the barrier in his exuberance.

“Is it alright that I’m here?” Amira asked, her heart racing. “I know this is more of a McLaren celebration, and I don’t want to disturb.”

Zac and Andrea exchanged a knowing look. Andrea rested a hand on her shoulder. “Amira, honey,” he said gently. “I think Lando would flip out if you weren’t here.”

And then, as if summoned by fate, Lando appeared. He leaped into the arms of the mechanics, their cheers lifting him higher. He was their winner—the boy who’d fought for this moment. But there was one more surprise in store.

Zac and Andrea approached Lando. “We have a 1.60m surprise for you,” they said, grinning. Lando’s confusion melted into understanding as he followed their gaze. His eyes locked onto Amira, standing there like a beacon. Without hesitation, he ran to her, lifting her off her feet. She clung to him, like a baby koala seeking refuge.

For an eternity, they held each other—the race winner and the girl who’d captured his heart. And in that moment, amid the cheers and the sun-kissed joy, they found their own victory.

“Lando. My Lando… You finally did it. I’m so proud of you. Mi ganador,” she whispered quietly. In that suspended moment, the world ceased its frantic spin. The crowd froze, their collective breath held. For one perfect moment, everthing stopped.

There existed only the two of them—the victorious racer and the girl who’d cheered him on. Lando leaned his forehead against hers, a shared heartbeat. A tear escaped Amira’s eye, and he wiped it away with gentle urgency. “My Mira. I did it. I finally won,” he confessed, his voice thick with emotion. She couldn’t find words, so she nodded, her heart echoing his triumph. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent—the sweet mix of adrenaline and possibility.

And then, as if the universe nudged them forward, time resumed its march. Lando was whisked away to the podium, the spotlight now on him. Cameras clicked, capturing moments that would echo through history: Lando’s gaze fixed directly on Amira, her tears as he received the trophy, and Andrea’s proud smile.

Even the commentators—Crofty and Bundl—couldn’t resist. “And here we see Amira Sainz,” they narrated. “The youngest sister of Carlos Sainz and a famous actress. It seems she’s shedding happy tears for her friend Lando Norris, who just won his first GP. And… is she reapplying her lip gloss?” The world watched, and in that snapshot of time, Amira and Lando’s story became legend.

[daydreaming-nerd]

Young Love and Old Money (Cassian x Female! Reader) Part 12

Young Love and Old Money Masterlist

AN: Wow this took longer than I thought because I JUST graduated college, which has been a hard transition for me. Also in one of my grad photos I posed with ACOMAF and Fourth Wing and tagged both Sarah and Rebecca Yarros and REBECCA FUCKING DMed ME AND CONGRATULATED ME! So yeah that was insane.

Summary: She was the most beautiful woman in Prythian, sister to the High Lord of Night, and now she is the soon-to-be wife of Eris Vanserra. Despite her many titles and her aura of unattainability, Cassian can't help but fall deeply in love with the princess of the Night Court. But will it be enough to stop her impending wedding to a man who is sure to destroy her from the inside out?

Warnings: Smut, mating bond being accepted, territorial Cass, angst for Rhys

Word Count: 5,535

“And this is really what you want?” Rhysand asks me for the one-millionth time. 

“Yes brother,” I assure him, taking his hands in mine. 

“No ornate, over the top mating ceremony? No wedding with all seven courts in attendance? Need I remind you that you are the Princess of Velaris, The Jewel of Prythian. I am the High Lord of Night, simply speak it and it is done,” Rhysand fusses. 

I can’t help but laugh at his eagerness to lay the world at the feet of his little sister. He had already given me our mother’s sapphire encrusted diadem as my something blue and had the small temple decorated in faelights and night blooming jasmine. I could practically smell the sweet flowers from the other side of the double oak doors before me. If I peeked through the crack I would see my handsome mate, my cousin, Azriel, and Amren, all waiting for Rhys to walk me down the aisle. 

“Rhys, I already had a larger than life wedding. I want this one to be intimate and sweet, just my family,” I assure him and I see his shoulders relax. 

“I’m sorry that Autumn Court traditions didn’t allow me to walk you down the aisle last time,” he smiles, offering me his arm, which I take. 

“It’s okay that was just the practice wedding,” I tease, bumping into his shoulder. 

Rhys barks out a laugh, a real one, a sound I hadn’t heard from him in a long time. He looks over at me one last time, taking in my appearance before placing a kiss on the top of my head, “You look beautiful sister. Cassian is truly a very lucky male.”  

I smile, smoothing my dress over one last time before the double doors open to reveal the beautiful temple and my mate turns to meet my gaze.

The soft faelights cast a warm glow throughout the temple and the smiling faces of my family meet me as Rhys leads me down the aisle. Mor looks so happy she might squeal, Amren’s face dons a small smile, the biggest one I’ve seen from her, ever. Azriel looks at me for only a moment before turning his head to Cassian, watching his brother's reaction to seeing his future wife and mate.

Cassian was dressed immaculately, in one of the many jackets that he wore to the Autumn Court balls. But I didn’t care much about how he dressed, I was more focused on his eyes, how they glassed over as I walked closer to him. Such happiness and joy that lie in them, like he had been waiting for this day for many years. 

As I step up to him Rhys passes my hand to Cassian’s with a knowing glance. My general looked down upon me like I was the most precious thing he ever beheld. I squeezed his hands tighter to assure him that I was real. 

“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, my love,” Cassian smiled before turning to the priestess. 

I don’t have time to say anything before the priestess begins to speak, seemingly more eager than the rest of us. 

“We gather here today to bear witness to the union of these two beings. If anyone should have any reason why these two shall not be joined please say so at once.” the priestess says. 

“This is also the time when I remind everyone that I have a knife,” Cassian says under his breath, earning a laugh from all of us. 

“Very well,” the priestess giggles. “Do you, y/n, youngest sister of our High Lord Rhysand and Princess of Velaris, take this male to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, as long as you shall live?” she asked me. 

“I do,” I smiled seeing the love pouring from Cassian’s eyes as I slid the simple gold band on his finger. There might have been five other people in the room but I couldn’t care less. Cassian’s hands gave mine a gentle squeeze, his way of showing me how happy he was to hear me say those two little words. 

“And do you, Cassian, General of the Night Courts Armies, take this female to be your lawfully wedded wife? In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, as long as you shall live?” the priestess asks, looking at Cassian. He didn’t even notice her. 

“Hell yeah I do,” he laughs, earning a laugh from our family once more as he places his mother’s ring on my hand. 

“Princess if you would,” she said, gesturing to the small blackberry tart on the plate before her. 

When I asked Cassian what he wanted as his official mating offering he didn’t hesitate to ask for a blackberry tart. I was puzzled at first until he explained that we met because of a blackberry tart. The first day he saw me, reading on the couch of the townhouse he and Azriel had come over because my mother had made us all blackberry tarts.  It was after  his story that I realized he had thought about this for a long time.  

I picked up the small pastry off the ornate plate and offered it to Cass. He plucked it from my  hands like it was made of porcelain and took a bite, berry staining his lips. I couldn’t help but reach a  hand up to wipe the mess from his face. 

“Congratulations you two, you are now mates as well as husband and wife,” the priestess smiled fondly, taking a step back.

“C’mere you,” Cassian smirked, pulling me into a kiss. 

His mouth melded against mine, and immediately things felt…different. They were deeper, stronger. The bond between us seemed to glow even brighter.  I felt Cassian dip me, in order to kiss me deeper, earning cheers from our family, especially Mor. When we came up for air I felt like my skin was on fire, the need to touch and feel all of my mate consuming my very soul. Like all moral code I had was thrown out the window. I barely felt it when we broke apart for air. The only thing bringing me back to reality was Cassian’s hazel eyes darkening. 

“Rhys I’m sorry to say this, but I’m going to go fuck your sister now,” Cassian jested picking me up bridal style and walking back down the aisle. 

The sound of my brother’s protest and the family’s laughter followed us as we launched skyward the cold night air whipping my dress around. The stars seemed brighter tonight as we flew over the Sidra, making a beeline for the House of Wind. It wasn’t uncommon for mating ceremonies to end so abruptly, but most of the time the couple would give their thanks to all in attendance before caving to the frenzy. Then again since when were Cassian and I a normal couple?

We landed on the terrace of the House of Wind and the second we were on solid ground Cassian kissed me, not even stopping to put me down. 

“Cass put me down!” I laughed between kisses. 

“Over my dead body, we're going straight to our room,” he smiled storming off towards the door. 

That’s right, our room. I had moved all my things into his room just yesterday. Thankfully he didn’t have much of a wardrobe so my thousands of dresses fit perfectly. 

The house thankfully opened our bedroom door for us, but it closed promptly with a slam as Cassian’s foot kicked it shut. I felt my feet finally touch the ground as greedy hands roamed my waist. 

“You are truly the most beautiful bride, I am so lucky to have you,” Cassian beamed, taking in every inch of me. 

“I’m far luckier to call you my mate and my husband,” I hum, kissing him again as I begin ripping the buttons of his shirt open. 

“That’s right you’re my wife now,” he exclaimed, kissing me deeply. “I’ve waited so long to call you my wife y/n, you have no idea.” 

I felt his hands wander to the buttons of my dress, he fumbled with a few before the thing was ripped in two, buttons ricocheting off every wall and surface in the room. I gasped as the cold air hit my bareback.  I took a step back to reveal my surprise for my husband, one Mor insisted I needed tonight. 

As the intricate wedding dress pooled at my feet my white lingerie was revealed. I remembered when Mor took me shopping at her favorite shop, she claimed it was nonnegotiable, and as Casssian’s eyes nearly popped out of his head I could see why. 

“Fucking hell,” he moaned closing the distance between us by grabbing me by my waist. “Pinch me baby there’s no way you’re my wife,” he said, wandering his hands up and down my body setting my skin on fire. 

“Why don’t you get on your knees Cass,” I whisper in his ear, knowing his second surprise is waiting for him there. 

My general, and the Lord of Bloodshed, falls to his knees before me without even a protest. His eyes fell directly on the garter I was wearing on my thigh. Seemingly plain and white, but I smirked as his eyes widened once again as he saw the customization on it.  

Embroidered on the garther in red thread, read one name. 

‘Cassian’

“You’re going to kill me princess,” he groaned, pressing his head against my thigh.

I couldn’t help  but laugh at his reaction to the fabric around my thigh as I ran a hand through his hair, “So it’s safe to say you like it?” I ask.

“Like it? I fucking love it baby. I’m fucking you with this one tonight.” He smirks leaving open mouthed kisses on my thigh. 

“Damn it that thing is scratchy,” I giggle. I wasn’t lying, the lace had been rubbing against my leg all day. 

“Then allow me to take it off for you,” he said, pressing a kiss just above the lace. “Can’t have anything marring my princess’ perfect skin,” he smirked before grabbing the fabric with his teeth and pulling it down my leg. 

The sight of his dark eyes locking on mine as the lace slid off my leg was enough to have my knees buckle. Thankfully his hands on my hips kept me stable as the garter slid off my foot. He chucked the thing clear across the room before standing and picking me up in one fell swoop.  

I couldn’t help but giggle as he laid me ever so gently on our shared bed. Staring down at me, taking in every single inch of me. 

“My beautiful, beautiful mate,” he breathed, leaning over me to press a kiss to my lips before trailing his mouth down my neck. “Beautiful, exquisite, and all fucking mine,” he groaned accentuating each word with a kiss.  

“Cassian,” I breathed, feeling his mouth traveling to where I needed him most. “I need you now,” I pleaded. 

“Shhh not yet wife, I want to taste you first,” he grinned placing a kiss atop my clothed core before sliding the white lace down my legs and discarding it with the garter. 

A series of kisses lined my core before he parted my folds, licking a long stripe up the center of me flicking his tongue at my clit causing me to arch my back off the mattress. He took his time, swirling and suckling on every part of me. When his fingers slid into me slowly but surely it had me crying out in pleasure. 

I  looked down to where my husband feasted on me, his eyes staring directly into mine. He watched my every reaction to his tongue and his hands as he brought me closer and closer to the gods themselves. Those hazel eyes turned dark brown as they devoured every gasp of pleasure I let out.

“Cass I’m going to-” 

“Cum baby, I want my wife to cum all over my fucking face,” he growled thrusting his fingers into me faster. The change in his voice was so drastic, so deep it had me doing just that.   

I knew the fae were more primal, more needy during their mating but I had no clue it would be like this, no clue I would love it as much as I did. As I came down from my high I realized how badly I needed him unleashed, needed all him. 

“Fuck you taste so fucking good mate,” he groaned licking up whatever juices I left over. 

“Cass I need you,” I said with a guttural sound that didn’t even sound like me.

His eyes snapped up from my cunt to me, somehow even darker than they were moments ago. He crawled up my body, a look in his eyes that could only be described as pure male pride as he said with a smirk.

“Yeah wife? You need me?” he grinned, placing open mouthed kisses over my collarbones. 

“Yes Cass, I need you. I need all of you,” I pleaded, my nails raking down his now bareback. When his shirt had come off? I didn’t know. 

“I’m not myself right now y/n,” he gritted, trying to show restraint. “I’ve never needed you as badly as I do now.” 

“Take me Cass, I want you unleashed,” I begged, pulling him closer to me, just needing to feel his skin brush against mine. 

His pants were quickly discarded to wherever my clothes had gone and I felt his hard cock brush against my stomach. I found myself subconsciously bucking into it like my body was forcing me to. He thrusted inside me in one motion filling me to the brim and causing us both to let out unnatural sounds. 

“Ah oh god’s Cassian, it feels so good!” I cried, finally feeling the relief of having him inside me. 

The only response I got from Cassian I got was a low growl as he started rutting inside of me. The sensation was almost too much to take. I knew that once the mating bond was accepted sex was  different. There was nothing in the world that could compare. It was part of what made the mating bond so special. 

As I felt Cassian thrusting into me, and heard his moans of pleasure as my walls clenched around him I wondered if I would ever get enough of this. If I would ever be truly satisfied. No wonder they called it the frenzy, I could sleep with him inside me and I would still need more.

“Holy fuck baby you feel so good,” Cassian grunted, his face tightening in the process. 

“Cassian!” I screamed, unable to remember anything but the name of my mate. 

“Who’s fuckin pussy is this?” he roared, setting a brutal pace. 

“Yours Cass,” I cried, feeling myself falling over the edge at  his words. 

My orgasm ripped through me like a tidal wave, the pleasure branding my every nerve as I felt the aftershocks all over my body. I had never felt this way before.

“Fuckkk,” Cass moaned, sitting himself inside of me as I felt his load coat my walls. 

He collapsed beside me cradling me to his chest, both of us sweating and breathing heavily. My legs trembled from the aftershock of my release. 

“Shit princess, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Cassian asked, tilting my chin up so he could assess my face. 

“No, no I’m fine,” I assured him before collapsing on his chest again. 

“I’m sorry I got a little rough there, it was-” 

“The bond,” I said, finishing his sentence. “Don’t worry I feel it too.” 

The heat returned to that spot between my legs and suddenly I needed to be closer to him, even though I was lying on top of him. I lifted my head to press kisses to his bare chest, my favorite activity to do. 

“Y/n if you don’t stop I’m gonna-” 

“I need you Cassian,” I said, cutting him off again with another kiss to his pec. 

His eyes lit up in amusement as he placed my hips over his already hard cock. I started grinding on him like my body was on autopilot. 

“Who am I to deny a princess?” he smirked, pressing a kiss to my lips. 

“We might be here a while,” I breathed, grasping his hair to pull him closer. 

“I can live with that,” he smiled.  

Cassian’s POV:

As expected the mating frenzy lasted about two weeks. Hell it would’ve been longer had Rhys not sent Azriel to break up the love fest. Apparently, there was still work to be done and my presence was needed at Windhaven. Devlon had been slacking in recruiting new troops, and with a war looming, and no Autumn Court soldiers to aid us, that wasn’t going to fly. 

Thankfully with a few ass kickings, Devlon finally got his shit in gear, and more Illyrians were being recruited and trained. Every day I flew up to impart my wisdom and of course make an example of a few of the older soldiers who thought they were ready for battle. 

The days were long, but it only made coming home to my mate all the more sweeter. I used to come home to an empty bed and a glass of whiskey, maybe even a female if I was lucky. At least I used to think I was lucky back then. Nothing compared to seeing y/n’s smiling face as I walked through the door every day.

 Sometimes she would be reading a book and I could sneak up on her and kiss her on the cheek.�� Other times she would sneak up on me and wrap her arms around me before telling me I was stinky and needed a bath, a bath she always happily joined me in. One that was more fucking than it was washing. 

“Princess, are you almost ready?” I asked her, knocking on the bathroom door once again.  

With things in the camps finally starting to run according to schedule I finally had time to train y/n as she had asked me to. I couldn’t believe that she thought I wouldn’t want to. I had never been more proud of her for wanting to give herself that freedom, that peace of mind to know that she could defend herself if need be. I was grateful to be the one to help her. So grateful in fact that I went out and bought her some Illyrian training leathers.

She nearly squealed at the sight of them, but the second she touched them her face contorted. She told me that she was scared to wear them because even though she was half Illyrian she didn’t have wings. To which I explained to her that if anyone dared say a word about it they would find their head on a pike. Not that I thought anyone in Windhaven would dare insult their general’s mate. 

“Yeah I think so, are they always this tight?” she asked, throwing open the bathroom door. 

I had seen my mate in lavish dresses, wedding dresses, lingerie, and nothing at all, but seeing her in Illyrian fighting leathers? It was going to be a lot harder to keep my focus than I thought.

“Cass?” she chimed, snapping her fingers to get my attention. 

“Oh- um,” I stumbled. “Yes they are, they create less drag when flying and they keep your opponents from having something to grab onto,” I explain to her, unable to keep my eyes from wandering over her body.

“I suppose that makes sense,” she said, turning to look at herself in the mirror one last time. “I’m ready to go then.”  

We made our way to a terrace giving Azriel a wave as we took flight. It might’ve been faster to winnow to Windhaven, but I didn’t mind flying with y/n in my arms one bit. Not when I spent days thinking I never would again. Not when this relationship between us was so new. I still felt like it would be ripped away from me at any given moment, Cauldron knew everything else in my life had been. 

The weather in Velaris was beginning to warm up as spring was approaching, but in the Illyrian mountains there was still snow on the ground. As we neared Windhaven I felt y/n shiver and instinctively pulled her closer to me. I hadn’t told Devlon that we were coming to use the sparring ring and the practice grounds. I didn’t need to, I was the general, and more importantly y/n was their princess. Granted a princess they had never seen before, but still their superior nonetheless. 

Confused faces graced every man woman and child as I touched down at the edge of camp with y/n. They had all of course heard stories of y/n, maybe even seen paintings of her, but they had never once seen her in the flesh. Even though news traveled slowly here it wasn’t hard to guess who she was, not with all the stories of her beauty. I remembered Eris recounting one…

“Eyes like a storm, skin soft as rose petals and hair like threads of silk. The Jewel of Prythian and the weakness of every male…”

As we walked through the camp I understood why y/n hated large crowds so much. I remember she once told me that walking through a ballroom felt like being a painting put on display. As we walked hand in hand I noticed that every pair of eyes that found her also found me, which set me on edge. I looked down to see her blissfully unaware like she was completely unbothered by their stares. Still, I would keep on my toes. 

We approached a rogue training ring near the edge of the camp, and I felt y/n’s body language lighten as she ran over to a rack of wooden weapons picking up a sword. The look on her face was so enthusiastic I couldn’t help but smile at her. 

“You’re not quite ready for that one,” I laughed watching her swing the sword around like a toy. 

“Are you kidding me? Does this look ‘not ready’ to you?” She challenged, pointing the sword at me.

I cocked an eyebrow at the dull wood pointing at my chest. In one movement I grasped the end of the practice sword in one hand and pushed her down with the other. She fell to the mat with a thud, looking up at me like a toddler. 

“Hey!” she protested dusting herself off as I put the fake weapon back with the rest. 

“You asked me to treat you the same as I would any of my troops. Are you taking that statement back?” I challenged her. 

“No I just didn’t know you were going to push me,” she huffed. 

“Oh, I’m gonna do a lot more than just push you, princess,” I laughed ruffling her hair which was in a simple braid. “If you want to wield a sword you have to be strong enough for it. Which means we're going to be working on those muscles first.” 

“Okay let's do it!” she exclaimed. “Where do we start?” 

“You, start by giving me three laps around camp to get warmed up,” I said sitting on a nearby rock. 

“You’re not joining me?” she asked, crossing her arms. 

“And miss the view of you running away in those pants? Not a chance princess.” I smirked, getting comfortable where I sat. 

To my surprise, there were no further protests as she collected herself and began running around the camp. I was right about the view of my mate running in those tight Illyrian leathers, it would be a miracle if I let those things get home in one piece. 

Y/n ‘s first lap around the camp was a quick one, I forgot to tell her that it wasn’t about getting the laps done quickly, it was about warming up. I supposed that learning from one’s mistakes was the best way to learn though. Once she got through her second lap she had slowed down and by the time she came back to the mat her breaths were ragged. 

“By the cauldron how do you do that?” she asked out of breath. 

“That was three-quarters of a mile princess, my warm-up is five miles,” I laugh standing from the rock. 

Her eyes nearly pop out of her head at my words. She straightens up trying her best to control her breaths. 

“Now drop and give me twenty push-ups,” I said pointing to the mat. Y/n raised her eyebrows and started doing her pushups as asked. 

It wasn’t until a few moments later that I became acutely aware of the presence around us. Without turning my body from where my mate did her exercises, I lifted my gaze to find women and soldiers alike staring at y/n. I tried to act as if I didn’t see them there, turning my attention to my wife once more where she stood, wiping the sweat from her brow. 

“Good now let’s try something else,” I said, walking over towards the rack of weapons and grabbing weighted gloves. “Put these on and let's see how you’re able to swing.” 

I watched as she tied the gloves on and tried to hide my smile as the things flopped around her small hands. I could get her custom ones made later but for now, these would do. She put her hands up like she was ready to fight me and I helped her adjust her position to one that she might actually use.

“Alright now I’m going to hold out my hands and you’re going to punch in sequence, right, right, left, right. Do that over and over again.” I instruct her to hold up my bare hands. 

“Aren’t I going to hurt you though?” she asked, peering from behind her gloves. 

“One day you will,” I laughed. “But I promise I can handle a beginner. Now come on, lay a couple on me.”  

She cocked her head to the side as if she was still questioning my toughness, which was a slight bruise to my ego. Once she did the sequence a couple of times and I didn’t so much as flinch I could feel pride floating down the bond. Like she was proud to have me as a mate. 

My thoughts were interrupted as the interlopers aside us continued to ogle and whisper about us. Their numbers having doubled since the last time I looked. Y/n was completely focused on the series of punches, muttering the order under her breath. I couldn’t help but try and listen in on two females standing by us.

“Is that the princess?” 

“Why would the princess be here with the general?” 

“I’m not sure but she looks like a painting of y/n that I’ve seen before.” 

Y/n continued her exercises until I stopped her, as I wanted to try out a different sequence. I corrected her stance once more and made sure she was holding her fists properly before she picked up on the new pattern. My eyes flitted to a group of three or four soldiers looking at us and listened to their exchange.  

“Who the hell is that with the general?” 

“I think it’s the princess.”

“That’s not the princess you idiot, why would she be here? Rhysand keeps her locked up tight.” 

“Well, whoever she is I’m definitely taking a piece of her before I go home,” 

The male who made the final comment flared his wings as if to try and get y/n’s attention. 

I dropped my hands feeling a few of y/n’s lingering punches bounce off my chest before she realized what was happening. 

“Hey I was doing good!” she protested, attempting to raise her weighed down hands in the air. 

“Yeah that’s enough training for today,” I said tightly before sweeping her up in my arms and taking off into the air. Weighted gloves and all. 

“Cass!” she shouted over the winds. “What was that about? We just started!” 

“The whole camp was eye fucking you, we can train at home. I’ll bring some weights and equipment tomorrow,” I grumbled remembering the male's greedy eyes. 

“You territorial Illyrian prick!” she laughed, smacking me on the chest.

“Hey cut me some slack! The mating bond is still fresh!,” I laughed and the second I said it I saw  the understanding fill her eyes. 

“You’re lucky you’re so handsome,” she sighed leaning her head on my shoulder. 

I gave a small chuckle as we continued the short flight home. Training could start up again once we arrived at the townhouse. It would be easier to train her in private and more fun for when things got a little…well…heated.

y/n’s pov: 

Today marked a day I had hoped would never come. Feyre’s wedding.

When I told my brother of the planned event he said that he was well aware of his mate's upcoming nuptials. I begged and pleaded with him to call in his bargain with her just once, just to give the female a chance to get to know him, but he refused. Even Cassian told him of the pain he felt when I married Eris.  But Rhys was steadfast in letting Feyre be happy, and in the end, I let him do it, for every time I spoke her name there was a sadness in his eyes I couldn't stand to see. 

“Hey,” I said quietly, stepping onto the balcony of the townhouse where Rhys stood. 

Cassian sat dutifully inside waiting for his brother with a glass of whiskey. It was going to be a long night, and he had offered himself up as Rhys’ drinking buddy, an offer my brother happily took. I just wanted to speak to my brother once before Azriel took me home. 

“Hey sis,” Rhys said, looking worse for wear. 

As usual, his image was perfect. A perfectly tailored suit, hair set in place, a clean shave. But his eyes held all the sorrows of the world. Grief I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I realized that this is exactly how Cassian felt the day I married Eris, and in that moment my heart broke twice. 

“Cassian’s inside with a couple of bottles of whiskey,” I gave him a half hearted smile wrapping an arm around him. 

“That was nice of him,” Rhys grinned weakly, tugging me closer to him. 

“Don’t give him too much credit he stole it from your liquor cabinet,” I laughed looking up toward my brother. I barely recognized him in this state. 

“Why am I not surprised,” he said, turning toward me. “Do you and Mor have everything you need for girls' night? You have enough wine and snacks right?” 

“Rhys,” I said, squeezing his hands. “You don’t always have to be so brave, you know? It’s okay to grieve. Especially with me, we promised no more walls, no more secrets.” 

I saw his violet eyes begin to glass over as he took in my words. In a way I was happy he felt he could be vulnerable with me again, that he didn’t have to wear the mask with me. However, I was sad that these were the circumstances. 

His arms pulled me into a tight hug and I felt his body shake ever so slightly, either in relief or in sadness. As I felt a drop on my bare shoulder I knew it was the latter and it killed me inside. 

“I’m going to lose her forever. She’s my mate and I’ll never even get to hold her.” he cried, his voice breaking. 

“Rhys I’m-” 

“I’ll have to sit here and watch her love him for the rest of my life,” he breathed. 

All I could do was hold him closer as I felt him breaking in my arms. The misery he felt echoed throughout the Illyrian mountains, and I wondered if today would be the day they finally crumbled. Before I could even try to console my brother he straightened, releasing me from his grasp and staring into the air behind me. 

“What? What is it?” I asked, grasping his shoulders.

“I-It’s her. It’s Feyre.” he stumbled as if coming to a shocking realization. 

“What’s wrong, is she hurt?” I panicked, willing to follow him anywhere to ensure her safety. The female wasn’t just my brother's mate, she had saved him from under the mountain, saved all of us, and saved me. I owed her my life.

“She wants to stop the wedding, she’s begging for someone to help- anyone to help.” Rhys rambled looking around him as if he was looking for some sort of sign. 

“Rhys… RHYS!” I shouted finally getting his attention. “Go get her,” I pleaded with him. 

Before I could get another word in he disappeared into a cloud of shadows, no doubt going to the Spring Court. Going to his mate.

To be continued…

Taglist: @crystalferret202 , @nickishadow139 ,  @graceshifts , @writeroutoftime , @heyyitsnat21,  @stinkinstuffie , @lilah-asteria , @12358 , @fxckmiup , @daughterofthemoons-stuff , @mybestfriendmademe , @anxious-study , @bxm-1012 , @mal-adaptive-dreams ,  @sh4nn , @talesofadragon , @5onedirection5 , @saltedcoffeescotch , @flourelle

Permanent Taglist: @fides25, @dissociated-always @crystalferret202

[starrylothcat]

Dawn of Us

Pairing: Crosshair x Gen!Reader

Summary: Crosshair feels bad about being cold to you and struggles with his ~feelings.

WC: 2100

Warnings: None. Kissing, fluff, some angst (c’mon, it’s Crosshair). Mentions of nightmares. Happy ending. TBB AU in which Crosshair is rescued and with his brothers.

A/N: This is based off of an ask from @banthasworld ! This took an incredibly embarassing amount of time, I am so sorry. It is based on the sunshine x grumpy trope, with Crosshair being…well Crosshair. Reader is always nice to him, and he struggles with that of course. Reader isn’t super described, since this is more from Crosshair’s point of view. But he sees reader as a ray of light, his sunshine, so it kind of works? ANYWAY, I hope you like!

Crosshair furiously chewed his toothpick, watching with feigned disgust as your shoulders shook with mirth, laughing as you placed a delicate ring of flowers atop Wrecker’s head.

Omega let out a giggle, handing Echo a crown of flowers of his own.

Tech was already adorned with one, and Hunter was adjusting his flowers around his bandana.

Everyone had a smile on their face, and Crosshair couldn’t help but retreat to the back of The Marauder to clean his rifle, hoping it would distract him from the merriment happening in the cockpit.

Earlier that day, Tech guided the ship down on a grassy planet for re-supply. They had agreed to pick up a shipment for Shep to bring back to Pabu.

While you were waiting, you and Omega found a lovely patch of flowers not too far from the ship, the fields blooming with color.

You were reminded of your childhood, sitting in meadows and making flower crowns with your friends. You showed a wide-eyed Omega how to make one for herself, which in turn inspired her to make one for all of her brothers.

Crosshair had been back with his brothers for some time now, and while he had mostly gained their trust back and things were somewhat back to normal, he couldn’t help but still keep himself at arm's length.

Crosshair looked up from his rifle once more, connecting his narrow-eyed gaze with your bright eyes.

He felt his stomach flip, something that he noticed was happening more often, something that he was desperately trying to ignore.

You were there when they rescued Crosshair from the Empire’s grasp. You had been kind to him from the start, even knowing everything that he had done, at least whatever his brothers told you about him.

You were laughing now, Wrecker telling a story of a mission Crosshair didn’t remember. It must have been a mission they went on while he was gone.

Crosshair scowled, retreating even further into himself as he flung what was left of his toothpick to the ground.

He glowered at his Firepuncher, waiting to be distracted from the sound of your voice, the beautiful glimmer in your eyes, the sneaking thought of wishing he could make you laugh as joyously as Wrecker…

He snapped out of his thoughts when your shadow changed the lighting around him, realizing you were standing right in front of him.

“Here.” You smiled, holding out a flower crown to him. “This one’s for you.”

Crosshair frowned, not making a move to take it, looking back at his rifle. He couldn’t bear to make eye contact with you. His heart thudded, hoping you’d just walk away.

“Tell the kid thanks, but no thanks.” He muttered.

“Omega didn’t make this for you.” You paused for a moment.

“I did.”

Crosshair’s eyes snapped to yours. You made it for him?

You hesitantly placed the ring of flowers down next to him.

“You don’t have to be back here by yourself, you know.” Your voice was soft, a kindly cadence that Crosshair couldn’t get out of his head at night, no matter how much he tossed and turned.

Crosshair bit down on a fresh toothpick, glancing at the intricately made ring of flowers next to his thigh.

“Who says I want company?”

He knew he was being an asshole, but it was the only way to get you away from him.

Every second you were close to him, every time you glanced his way, brought him a cup of caf, or asked him how he was doing, it was making it harder and harder for him to not take your face in his hands and kiss you.

He wanted to hear your warm words in his ear, feel your lips on his, finally let his guard down for once, and bathe in your light that outshone his darkness.

He couldn’t, though. Why would you want him?

The severe and unyielding traitor who broke his family’s trust? Something he was still gaining back, and may never truly get back.

He was broken. You deserve someone better.

These were the intrusive thoughts that kept him away from you, the nagging voice in the back of his mind that he just couldn’t keep quiet, no matter how hard he tried.

“I can sit with you if you want.” You asked, still standing in front of him, a glimmer of hope in your eyes.

Ask them to sit with you, you idiot.

Crosshair huffed. “I want to be left alone.”

Why am I like this?

You bit your lip, nodding and turning away from him, respecting his space.

Crosshair’s eyes didn’t miss a thing, watching as your shoulders slumped in such a subtle way that you may have done it subconsciously.

You looked over your shoulder at him, your lips parting like you wanted to say something, but continued to walk to the front of the ship, where his brothers and Omega had started some sort of card game.

Crosshair furrowed his brows, trying to focus on cleaning his rifle again.

This was normalcy he thought he’d never have, and it was right in front of him, waiting for him.

And yet he was still choosing to be alone.

Guilt, something he had never really felt before he came back to his brothers, sat like a stone in his stomach. He felt bad for being cold to you. You didn’t deserve this.

He watched as you sat, overseeing the card game, a smile back on your face. You glanced at him quickly, before being dealt in.

✼　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　✼ ✼　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　✼ ✼　

The Marauder was quiet, except for Wrecker’s soft snores reverberating on the durasteel walls.

Crosshair lay in his bunk, gently turning the crown of flowers in his hands, holding it above him.

It was made with extreme care, his fingers grazing against the delicate petals, observing how thoughtfully you crafted it, the vines and stems intertwining with one another without being broken.

Could that be him? Could he be entwined with something beautiful without breaking it?

Crosshair laid the flowers on his chest, slinging one arm over his eyes. He replayed earlier in the evening in his head, except this time, he invited you to sit with him.

You watch as he demonstrates how to take apart his rifle, explaining each part, and showing you how to put it back together. He imagined your face close to his, paying close attention, feeling your breath on the side of his face. Laughing at something he says, a cheery smile just because you’re near him…

A tidal wave of unfamiliar warmth engulfed him, a peculiar fuzziness spreading in his chest.

Crosshair held on to that feeling, this time not trying to push it away, letting it spread and take hold of his heart. The sensation was strange, but comforting. He fell asleep with the ghost of your lips on his, your soft hands embracing him.

✼　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　✼ ✼　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　✼ ✼　

Crosshair awoke early the next morning, something he still did out of habit. He was a light sleeper, and ever since he decided to leave his brothers, his sleep was interrupted by nightmares from his choices, and what was done to him while he was captured.

This morning, though, he realized the usual terrors that plague his mind did not make a visit. Instead, his dreams were filled with you, with flowers, with feelings he could only describe as…peace?

Crosshair sat up, realizing he was still holding the crown of flowers from last night. His head was spinning with emotion, with the realization of how much you meant to him, how much he needed you.

Crosshair didn’t expect anything in return from you, especially after how he’s treated you. But at the very least, you deserved an apology and a thank you for the gift.

Everyone was still asleep, except for you. Your bunk was empty, made up neatly. You were an early riser too, Crosshair often catching you staring at the sunrise on Pabu down at the beach by yourself. He never joined you, assuming you wanted your space.

Crosshair knew you’d be right outside the ship, waiting for the sun to cast its glow over you.

Crosshair silently slipped out of the ship, the ramp cracked just enough for him to slip through without waking anyone else.

The sun was just beginning to rise, casting soft pink and orange glows over the dewy fields, the flowers still closed up for the night, waiting to wake with the rays of the sun.

Crosshair saw you sitting alone in a small clearing, staring toward the horizon.

Crosshair didn’t realize he was holding his breath as he approached you, his heart pounding in his chest.

He cleared his throat, not wanting to scare you.

You turned immediately, your eyes lighting up the second you realized it was him.

“Crosshair! I hope I didn’t wake you?”

Crosshair shook his head. “No, I was already awake.”

He stood awkwardly, not knowing if he should ask to sit with you or not. He wanted to give you the chance to tell him to buzz off, like he told you the night before.

“Would you like to join me?” You asked, your voice quiet, a hopeful spark in your eye.

Crosshair didn’t say anything, taking a seat next to you in the damp grass. The horizon was beginning to turn a kaleidoscope of color as the sun began peeking above the grass on the horizon.

There were a few moments of silence, and then you spoke.

“I’m sorry.” You said, your voice almost inaudible.

Crosshair’s head snapped toward you.

Why the hell were you apologizing to him? He was supposed to be apologizing to you!

“For what?” Crosshair’s brows were knit, wondering what the kriff you were trying to apologize for.

You fiddled with some of the grass under your fingers.

“I know I can be too much sometimes, when I know you just want to be left alone…” your voice trailed off.

“I’m sorry if I’ve been too pushy, especially last night. I realize I’m making you uncomfortable. I will back off.”

Crosshair’s heart sank to his feet. This is not how this was supposed to go. He felt even guiltier than before. You and your big heart, assuming it was all your fault.

Crosshair shook his head. “You’re wrong.”

You looked at him, confused.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Crosshair took a breath. “You don’t deserve how I’ve treated you. I…appreciate everything you do for me. I’m sorry I don’t return it. I have no excuse.”

Crosshair felt something on his hand. It was yours, barely touching his. Rays of sunlight were reflecting in the dew of the grass, spreading across the plains. Petals stirred, beginning to open toward the light.

“Crosshair…” You whispered his name, your fingers threading together. “I care about you, a lot.”

“I know.” Crosshair’s voice cracked, barely above a whisper. “I’m not a good man, you shouldn’t…

Here I go again, pushing them away.

Crosshair wanted to yell, to take you up in his arms, say how much he cares, how much he wants you, how much he needs you…

You must have seen the battle in his eyes, and your lips were on his cheek before he could continue.

Crosshair froze at first, his body going into overdrive of a million different emotions.

You’re kissing him? You’re touching him? Was this a dream, one that he has secretly wanted for so long?

Your lips were softer than any fantasy as they pressed softly, pulling away as quick as they were on him.

Crosshair’s body erupted in sensations he’d never experienced, goosebumps spreading throughout his body as you kissed him. As fast as it happened, you pulled away.

You quickly took your hand out of his, seeing as he wasn’t responding to your bold move.

“I’m sorry, I-“

“Quit apologizing.” Crosshair muttered before capturing your lips with his in a needy kiss, wrapping one arm around you to bring you close, cradling your head with the other.

Crosshair never, ever wanted to let go of this moment. Feeling your body relax against his, your own arms wrapping around him. He held onto you for dear life, wanting to say so much more, to keep apologizing, to warn you that his darkness may never be cured. Your lips didn’t stop moving together, expressing everything that words could not.

Finally, you both pulled away for a much needed breath, the sun’s rays now fully shining down on you.

“The flowers…” Crosshair uttered against your lips. “Thank you.”

You smiled, tucking your head against his chest as he held you. Momentarily, Crosshair forgot everything as you embraced. It was just you and him, and the hope of the new day, both of you bathed in its light.

Maybe, just maybe, it was time to let himself be cared for. Maybe, just maybe, things would be okay.

As long as he had you, he knew it would be.

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[ozzgin]

I am absolutely in love with mommy prehistoric reader😍🧎‍♀️.

Idk if you like the idea , but imagine someone coming to close to the twins. And mommy reader and pickle are carefully watching what happens. But when the person gets to close reader gives the baby’s to pickle. And then goes after the person who got to close with her babies. And simply beats the living crap out of them.🤭

(Also I am sorry about requesting so much mommy/pregnancy headcannons with a baddie mom)

The general consensus seems to be that prehistoric reader needs a comeback as a protective mother of 2 infants and multiple grown men. Makes a lot of sense and I’m here for it!

Baki Headcanons: Prehistoric Mother! Reader

Featuring Pickle, his challengers, and an aggressively protective ancient reader that has taken everyone under her (buff) wing.

You’ve always approached the men with a certain sense of fragility (to their shame and dismay), as if you needed to be extra careful not to break them. Pickle has fought them and tested their sturdiness himself, so he treats them without gloves like any creature of his status. You’re not as certain, especially now that you’ve become a mother.

It’s not just the hormones being all over the place, though the heightened oxytocin levels have certainly contributed to your peculiar attachment to the modern creatures. Holding the two little beings that have made their way out safe and healthy (despite being frozen for millennia, might I add), a certain kind of newfound protectiveness blooms within you. They will grown and go out into the world and face threats and dangers and you wish to serve as their guardian for as long as possible.

In fact, you’re now more than ever convinced of your purpose. You have no desire to showcase your strength unless with the purpose of assuring the safety of those around you. The power bestowed upon you is not for conquering worlds, but to fortify the walls around them.

So now it’s harder than ever to refuse your random acts of motherly care. Katsumi has fully resigned to his new role as he doesn’t have the heart to push you away. He already has two mothers, one extra won’t make any difference. Besides, if he lets you groom him he can hold and play with the worryingly muscular babies. He finds the twins entertaining and they’re equally amazed by his karate tricks.

Retsu accepts your affections with solemn silence. He doesn’t particularly care for the children, but he’s surprisingly patient with their shenanigans. He’s rather curious to see when their strength will overcome his.

To Pickle’s annoyance, Baki has started calling him ‘dad’ jokingly whenever you groom him or take care of him. You’re very protective of the young boy and despite managing to use simple sentences by now, you prefer to deter Yuujirou away with quick threatening growls.

Jack detests the public displays that you insist on, feeling as if he’s infantilized, though he’s rather hesitant to downright reject your service. Especially since the…incident.

In fact, all of them are tiptoeing around you in hopes that your instincts will cool down over time. They’ve had to witness firsthand what happens when someone disregards your boundaries. The stranger might’ve had good intentions, nonetheless the same in your eyes the moment they got too close to the twins. You didn’t say much, just placed the children in Pickle’s arms and dragged the clueless person to a quiet place nearby. Needles to say you returned alone.

The worst thing about the whole ordeal was your flaccid smile that never left your face. Most humans are so weak they don’t even elicit the slightest frown from you. It hadn’t even registered in your head as a fight. The men gulped in unison and just minded their business for the rest of the day. Being groomed is a small price to pay if it saves them from your anger.

[yusume-the-writer]

are you able to write a mash x m!reader whos a notorious double liner that just transferred to the school and is stuck into finn and mash's room because there wasnt anyother rooms? (if thats to specific im down for just mash x m!reader!)

Love blooms just like a flower in a garden

Mash Burnedead x male reader

Request made by Anon. Thanks for waiting, and sorry for the delay

I found the idea interesting and it was also my first time writing for Male Reader, so if there is a part with wrong pronouns, I would be grateful to be alerted about it.

Warning: The reader is said to have a hobby of watching butterflies and taking photos of them and gardening; the reader is completely male! Everything is from Finn's point of view, except the bonus

Summary: After (Name)'s transfer, Finn notices how close Mash and (Name) are and how their love has blossomed just like a flower

Today was supposed to be a normal day

And because it was a normal day in the lives of Mash and Finn, they had to share their room with a new transfer student.

Now Fin and Mash were facing their new roommate until he had his own room

"It's a pleasure to meet you, my name and (Name) (Last name)" The boy called (Name) while bowing in an elegant manner

If it weren't for the two-line mark on his face, Finn would know he came from a prestigious family.

"Ah.. and equally a pleasure I am and this is Mash" Finn says while pointing at himself and Mash

"And a pleasure too, what a profiterole?" Mash says while holding a profiterole in front of the (h/c) haired boy

"Ah! Thank you very much" (Name) says as he accepts Mash's profiterole

"Dispose" Mash responds

"Thank you so much for letting me sleep in your dorm until I had one" (Name) says and then he takes a bite of the profiterole "Amazing! And very delicious wherever you buy it Mash!" (Name) says as he takes the profiterole from their lips and their (e/c) eyes shine as she looks into the monotonous golden ones.

"I do it myself" Mash says nonchalantly

"That's amazing! I've never tried anything like this before" (Name) says as their gaze shifts to their half-bitten profiterole

"Really?" Mash says with surprise in their tone of voice

"Hm! The outside is crunchy but at the same time soft to the bite, along with the inside which is soft to a good extent and the cream combines perfectly with the crunchiness and softness of the dough" (Name) explain

"Wow! You must know a lot about confectionery!" Finn said in surprise

"Hm~ I like confectionery" (Name) responds to Finn

Without realizing it, Mash had a small smile on their face.

This was Finn and Mash's first interaction with their new roommate (Name)

Finn remembers the day they met (Name) like it was yesterday.

It was about two weeks that (Name) slept in their room until he had a free room

Those few weeks were difficult for (Name) as he got used to a new school and in the middle of the semester

So he joined their little group, being another two-liner like Lance

And of course (Name) surprisingly got closer to everyone in the group

But.... (Name) and Mash's relationship was different from the personal

Even if they weren't with the staff, it was possible to see the two of them together most of the time.

Finn couldn't even count all the times they were together

How he once found Mash teaching (Name) how to make profiteroles

Another when (Name) helped Mash study for exams in the library

Or when (Name) was showing their collection of butterfly photos to Mash during breaks

And also the time when Mash talked to (Name) while he was gardening and there's that too....

The list was huge

But.... Finn doesn't know when, but he noticed their fleeting touches

He once came across Mash sleeping with their head in (Name)'s lap while he played with their hair.

Another time he saw Mash and (Name) talking, he didn't know what they were saying but suddenly (Name)'s face turned red and he hid his face in his hands while Mash looked at him with their slightly pink cheeks.

There was also when he saw (Name) playing with Mash's hair and his own cheeks were red.

And when they are with the group, Finn notices every time Mash or (Name) reaches for each other's hands and holds them without anyone noticing.

Finn wasn't stupid for that, he knew Mash and (Name) liked each other, no... they loved each other

Finn wasn't disappointed or embarrassed

In fact... he thought it was cute

It was as if he visited a garden and then every time he visited that garden he found a flower that little by little grew and in the end it bloomed and it seemed like it had always been there

But it was never there, it started to create its way to the surface and then it started to grow and become what it is today.

And that's why Finn sees their relationship like this, a love that wasn't at first sight like Lemon says and his love for Mash, but rather a love that grew like a flower in the garden where there were other flowers, this flower wasn't the only one or special one, it was just growing and it stayed there and since then it was there without anyone noticing

Even if other people notice this flower and say it grew overnight, Finn will be proud to say that he saw this flower, it didn't bloom overnight but it bloomed over time to where it is.

And he hopes that this flower remains rich and strong just like (Name) and Mash's relationship

𝑩𝒐𝒏𝒖𝒔

"So... like we said before, we have an announcement to make" (Name) says to the group that was in front of him and Mash

One day (Name) and Mash called the group to say something

"Me and Mash are dating" (Name) says and then Mash holds his hand to confirm

.....Silence permeated the air around the group.....

(Name) breaks out in a cold sweat thinking it wasn't a good idea while Mash squeezed his hand as a form of comfort

"WHAT?!?????!!?!?!?!?!" Lemon and Dot scream at the same time, bursting Lance's eardrums, who was next to them.

"Congratulations on your relationship!" Tom says in an excited tone while raising a thumb "May your relationship be as strong as a bamboo" He finishes

"How long have you been together? How did this happen? When are you getting married? Why didn't you say this before? How is the mushroom head (Name) dating?! ...." Lemon and Dot ask dozens of questions while get closer to (Name) and Mash without letting them talk

While this situation is happening, Lance notices that Finn was quiet the whole time.

"...Aren't you going to say anything Finn?" Lance asks as he looks away to look at Finn.

"Oh no... actually I already knew" Finn says as he continues to stare at (Name) and Mash talking to the people about their relationship

He couldn't help but notice the way Mash looked at (Name) with so much love and the way a smile formed on her face.

"I'm glad they're together, they make a good couple" Finn says as he smiles

"Hm.. If you say so" Lance takes his gaze away from Finn and faces the group

[amakumos]

haru yo, koi — yang jungwon (teaser)

full fic is out now! read here.

synopsis. Life is fragile. You’ve known this ever since you got diagnosed with a rare disease that gives you only 10 years to live. You tell yourself to not fall in love, but then you meet Yang Jungwon in the middle of a park surrounded by cherry blossom trees. But just like the fleetingness of the cherry blossoms, your romance with Jungwon is short lived. You can only hope that the universe will be kind enough to offer you a second chance.

genre. angst, fluff, friends to lovers to ?, inspired by the movie the last 10 years.

pairing. non-idol! jungwon x fem! reader

warnings. swearing, reader and jungwon are 22 at the beginning of the fic, mentions of death, hospital, illness & disease, scenes where drinking is involved

word count. est around 30k+ (teaser is approx 1.4k)

author's note. hellohello : ) this is the teaser for the longest every fic i have ever written!!! that’s so crazy!!!! the title is of course inspired by yuzuru hanyu’s program “haru yo, koi” :) i hope u guys enjoy this small little teaser of the full thing & if you’d like to be added to the taglist, just send in an ask !!

Cherry blossoms are known for their existence to be short-lived. They symbolise transience, ephemerality. They fall to the pavement as quickly as they bloom.

Just like the cherry blossoms, your existence will be short-lived. You’re running on borrowed time, and you don’t know when that time will run out. 

Every breath you take could be your last. 

There is a peaceful quietness as you wander around the park, admiring the vibrant pink hues of the flowers in full bloom. The faint smell of the cherry blossoms waft through the air, and you watch as some of the petals fall to the pavement. 

The quietness is interrupted by a dog bark. A white dog runs up to you, and you look at it, startled and confused. Suddenly, a boy who looks around your age runs up to you. 

“I am so sorry about Maeumi,” he says, attaching the leash back onto his dog. “He’s a little energetic sometimes.” 

You look at the boy, and something about him feels familiar. Those eyes – you’d recognise them anywhere. 

It’s Yang Jungwon, an old classmate of yours. He was the head of the student council during your time at the school, and you remember him even though you weren’t exactly there much due to your illness. But Jungwon was always a kind person, helping out anyone in need. He was friendly, and popular. You knew that many people had a crush on him, including your friend Minji.

“Wait a minute,” Jungwon’s eyes narrow suddenly. Something seems to click, and he gasps. “You’re (Name), right? We were in the same class in high school.” 

You’re surprised that even with all his busy duties in high school and with you constantly being away at the hospital, Yang Jungwon still remembers you.

“Yeah, I am,” you say, a small smile on your lips. “I’m surprised you remember who I am.”

“Of course I’d remember you!” Jungwon’s eyes seem to twinkle as he says the words. “We worked together on a project for biology once. Do you remember me?” 

You chuckle. “Of course. Yang Jungwon. Head of the student council.” 

Jungwon smiles. “Yeah. That’s me.” 

There’s a brief moment of silence where you and Jungwon just look at each other, small smiles on both of your faces. Maeumi sits patiently as a few of the cherry blossom petals land on his fur. 

“So… what have you been up to?” Jungwon asks you, looking genuinely interested. How are you supposed to respond to that? Because really, you’re not going to just tell him that what you’ve been up to is… hospital. 

“Um… work. Got a job,” you lie, nodding. “What about you?” 

“I’m a lawyer now,” Jungwon replies, and you smile. “Law. It suits you.” 

“Huh. Everyone tells me that,” Jungwon runs his fingers through his hair to make it a little neater. “So… what do you do at work?” 

“Writing. I… write.” Well, that wasn’t a complete lie. You do write, just… not for work. You’ve only been working on one thing ever since you got your diagnosis — it’s something akin to a diary, recounting your journey through the last 10 years of your life.

Maybe you’ll get to see it published before you’re gone.

“Oh, that’s so cool!” Jungwon beams. “I know your writing’s great. You wrote for the school newspaper, right?” 

It seems like Yang Jungwon remembers a lot about you. You wrote occasionally for the school newspaper when you were well enough to actually write. You’re surprised he remembers that, and you’re quite surprised that he actually read the school newspaper — you thought that with his busy schedule, he wouldn’t have had the time to.

“I did. You have a good memory.” 

“Thank you.” Jungwon cracks a smile. The boy looks at the cherry blossom trees, before returning his focus onto you. “They’re pretty, aren’t they?” he asks, and you nod.

“I like the colours.” you say, quietly.

“Me too.” 

“(Name), Soobin just got an emergency at the hospital, so he’s had to leave– oh!” Chaewon suddenly appears out of nowhere, startling both you and Jungwon. “Sorry, I didn’t know that you were talking to someone.” 

“Oh, it’s okay.” you tell your sister, who looks at you, then looks at Jungwon, then looks at you again. “Was I interrupting something?” she asks, with a small smile on her lips. 

“We were just looking at the cherry blossoms.” Jungwon pipes up. “I’m Jungwon. It’s nice to meet you.” 

“Chaewon,” your sister says. “Do you know my sister?”

“We went to high school together,” you tell her. “Jungwon was the head of the student council. I’m actually quite surprised he still remembers me, considering how… you know.” 

“Yes. I know.” 

Jungwon doesn’t know exactly what you and Chaewon are talking about, but it seems personal — and he wouldn’t want to pry. And, you keep mentioning how you’re extremely shocked at the fact that Jungwon seems to remember you.

But, why wouldn’t Jungwon remember his first crush? 

Something about you intrigued Jungwon the moment you stepped into the classroom for the first time. It was seventh grade, and you had walked into the room with a small smile on your lips. Jungwon remembers you catching his attention instantly. 

You two were partnered together for a project, and you both had quite a few pleasant conversations while working on the assignment. Jungwon remembers walking home with a giddy smile on his lips after he had gone to your house. 

But gradually, you started to disappear. 

Throughout high school, Jungwon tried to talk to you as much as he could. Problem was, you were almost never at school, and when you were at school, Jungwon always seemed to be busy.

So Jungwon was never able to get closer to you. He couldn’t get to know you better, or find out why he found himself gravitating towards you. 

You didn’t even show up for graduation. 

The last time Jungwon remembers seeing you was in class one day. You were wrapped in a puffer jacket, a hand warmer in your hands. You looked pale. Jungwon assumed that you might’ve gotten a cold.

He didn’t know that you were sick. He still doesn’t know that you’re sick. Nobody from high school knows, with the exception of Minji and Wonyoung. 

He just assumed you were always busy with out of school activities. But he never forgot about you. 

“Oh, that reminds me. Ricky’s hosting a reunion party next week for our year? We’d love for you to come.” Jungwon says, and Chaewon nudges you gently. “You should go,” your sister whispers to you.

“Oh, I… I don’t know. I don’t think people there will really remember me.” you murmur, and Jungwon shakes his head. “No, they will! Just come along. Here, I’ll give you my number, since Ricky’s still making decisions on which restaurant he’s booking. I’ll text you the details.” 

You type in Jungwon’s number into your phone slowly, saving his contact. “It was really nice seeing you again. What a coincidence, right?” he beams.

“It was nice seeing you again too, Jungwon. I’ll… let you know if I go.” 

“I’ve got to run along now, a friend of mine’s waiting for me.” Jungwon says, a small pout on his lips. “But yeah, text me! I’ll talk to you soon.” 

“See you around, Jungwon.” you say softly, and the boy gives you one last big smile before turning around to leave. Chaewon looks at you with a wide grin on her lips. “Come on, you should go!” 

“I don’t know,” you say hesitantly. You’re not even sure if people remember you. Or know you at all. You attended school less than 20 times in your last year — to be completely honest, even you found it strange that you graduated. “What if people are like ‘who are you?’ It would make things really awkward.” 

“So? Jungwon knows you. Invite Minji and Wonyoung. There, you know four people. Come on, (Name). You should live your life to the fullest.” 

As you’re nearing the end of the 10 years that the doctor has given you, you decide that perhaps Chaewon is right. You’ve spent years wallowing in self-pity, spending all your days at home when you could’ve been spending time doing things that you’ve always wanted to do. See people you never thought you’d see again. Go to places that you’ve always wanted to go to.

You take a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll go.” 

And as a pink cherry blossom petal brushes against your cheek, you return home with Chaewon by your side, and the thought of Yang Jungwon in the back of your mind.

[little-teacupss]

Memes/Vines/Sounds with MFH and the VK's!

Warnings: mild cussing and Hook's trauma

___________________________________________

Hook: I put red lipstick in your Valentino white bag.

Fay: Lipstick in my Valentino white bag! Wha- what-

___________________________________________

Fay: Just wait til Peter gets free, then you'll be sorry, Hook!

Hook: Wait, you call me this too? Is this a universal thing? How long have people been calling me this?

Morgie: Well, isn't it that your name? Hook?

Hook: NO! It's James! Who told you my real name was related to the worst accident of my life!?!?!?

Hades: -exists-

Hook: Oh my gosh, that's so mean.

___________________________________________

Morgie: Is it his eyes?

Hook: - takes sunglasses off -

Morgie: Is it his smile?

Hook: - smirks -

Morgie: Is it-

Hook: Stop! If you must love me - stares into Morgie's eyes - love me for my IQ!

___________________________________________

Hook: There are just too many dads living here in this home.

Morgie: And just what is that supposed to mean?

Hook: Well, haven't you ever seen that show my three dads!

Hades: Yeah, it's called full house, you dipshit.

___________________________________________

Hook: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Maleficent: What's up your ass today?

Morgie: Hey.

Maleficent: Hm, never mind.

Uliana: - random eating sounds as she watches this unfold -

___________________________________________

Hook: I must be Santa Clause cause I get Ho! Ho! Ho's.

- five minutes later -

Hook: I actually don't.

___________________________________________

Uliana: Look at this fat, giant, morbidly, obese squirrel. What are you doing?

- shows a picture of Bridget -

___________________________________________

Fay: It was gay. Why should I have to apologize, I saw gay, so I said gay, that ain't bully that's an astute observation!

- Hook and Morgie in a room alone -

___________________________________________

Hook: We're like a big happy family, and I'm the dad, Uliana's the mom.

Uliana: Why am I the mom? What kind of gender roles are we assuming here?

Morgie: I know there probably thinking I'm the son, but no I'll be the gay, emo cousin.

Fay: and I am the son the hot shot who just wants to be a star.

Maleficent and Hades: And I'm the sassy aunt who talks shit about everyone

___________________________________________

Fay: I was silent.

Uliana: Were you silent, or were you silenced?

Fay: I was silenced.

___________________________________________

Morgie: Would you kiss the pope if he asked?

Hook: If he asked me to kiss him, no way, dude, never kiss someone who asks you to kiss them. You know that's rule 101.

Morgie: That's a rule?

Hook: That's rule 101 of the book, Morgie.

Morgie: They say you.

Hook: Bro, you're gonna tell me if an old man walked up to you and said 'kiss me'.

Morgie: No, not just any old man.

Hook: If it's the pope, and he comes up to you and says,'kiss me'.

Morgie: You gotta ask me.

Hook: Wha- no, he's no.

Morgie: You can't demand me to kiss you, I'm not gonna kiss me.

Hook: Can you kiss me?

Morgie: I'd be like I can.

Hook: Will you kiss me?

Morgie: I don't know.

Hook: Your being a flirty little bitch aren't you!?

___________________________________________

Fay: Get this in every group of friends. There's the dumb one.

- they all point at Morgie -

Morgie: Really?

___________________________________________

Hook: I'm so sorry. I think your sister maybe having my second son.

___________________________________________

Fay: What they didn't know was a romance was blooming.

- Hades and Maleficent look at each other -

Fay: A romance lasting a lifetime!

Maleficent: No!

___________________________________________

Fay: Let me see what you have there!

Hook: A knife!

Fay: No!

___________________________________________

Anyway, I hope you all like this. If you want to see a part two, just tell me, and thank you all so much for keeping up with MFH. You've truly made my co-founder @giveityourworst, and my dreams come true!

Tagged list: @giveityourworst, and @brokenmilkcrates. If you want to be on the tagged list, just ask!

Anyway til the next story! Ba bye!

[woneuntonzz]

greatest comedian ≈ s.es, o.str

popularguy!eunseok x afab!reader x bestfriend!shotaro

“god must be the greatest comedian I know.”

contains: angst, fluff, comfort, cursing, pining (ig), mentions of alcohol, slightly suggestive jokes, humor (lmao)

wordcount: 10.8k

a/n: i'm back :0 (kinda) i'm gonna try and get to my asks soon pls wait for me :<

songfic inspired by:

“You’re funny!”

He’s heard it countless times. And he truly was. Truly, he was a delight to be around. He reveled in the laughter and amusement of others. Your image of him was no different from everyone else’s. You’ve always thought he was funny. But somehow he’s never made you laugh. Well, all he’s ever done is bring your self-doubts to afloat, and served a great part in creating this big barricade in your academic life that you’ve been trying to get through for over a year now. 

“You still like that guy? For real?” you breathe out a chuckle to your friend’s query, in harmony with the sounds of the keyboard’s clicks as you make yourself busy.

“Yes, Natty.” your voice was soft as you replied and as you did you felt Natty’s hand landing calmly on your shoulder. 

“Ever thought of confessing?” —I have, I do all the time— you say to yourself. “I mean, who knows, he might like you too.”

You almost guffawed, but Natty would only lay her head on your shoulder and she’d snap her head up at you when you answered, “On another universe, maybe. I don’t exist in his little theater show.”

“What a way to refer to someone’s blooming social life.” you darted your eyes at Natty’s poking, turning the both of you into a bundle of laughter. 

If only he could hear the melody that sounded from your lips. “Why’d you say it like I don’t have a social life?”  

“Miss Y/n, I did not say that at all. You’re delusional!” your friend gave you a light push, your arms crossing on top of one another on your chest. 

“I am not delusional!” you kept the kid in your tone whilst appearing offended. 

In fact, you truly weren’t. While as a youngin you’d hope every coincidence bore meanings, you grew up to face reality, though not accepting it entirely. A part of you hoped there was a small spark that went off every time you met his gaze, that he was just as withdrawn with you as you were with him because he was shy, that he only pretended to not care about you because he liked you too. But a view of him from afar —how his life was a movie in itself— told you you’d be nothing more but a mere extra in the extravagance of his daily proceedings. 

So when prom came around, while everyone else scurried around to find their dates, you just stood still —more accurately, sat and waited for anything interesting to happen in your life— and watched the pretty girls being picked out by men of all kinds like flowers on a nice green field. You just hated that by the end of prom night, this nice field of tamed green grass will turn into a rowdy, muddy mess stepped on by those men —if you could even call them that. The view wasn’t as sweet to you like how everyone else saw it, but perhaps it was because you were bitter. 

“Aren’t you excited for prom night? I heard Jacob will DJ this year, I bet it’s gonna be awesome.” you shrugged at your friend, unsure if you were even gonna go to prom. 

“I bet you’ll have loads of fun.” your friend was quick to pick up on your masked expression, much to your surprise.

“Hmm, is this about…” he looks you right in the eyes,“Bingo! code Eun—”

“Shh!” you bit your lip after shushing him, containing the laugh that threatened to escape from you. “Keep it down!”

“Oh, sorry.” a jesting evil chuckle was evoked from him making your face scrunch up. He laughs at you and motions like he’s about to pinch your face. “But, hear me out. Why don’t you ask him out?”

You sighed as an array of reasons popped up in your head. “Even if I had the courage to do that did you really think he’d say yes? To me?” your friend snorted at your tone, and again, looks you right in the eyes. 

“Why not?” you raised your brows as a way of asking him if he was being serious, “Look, just being for real here, you’re pretty enough to overthrow those ‘popular girls’, your cute, your talented, your actually interesting —I mean what’s there not to like?”

You gave yourself a second to think and your eyes followed the lines separating each tile on the floor, and from the distance you saw him. You were in the cafeteria, and for some reason not with Natty. Some guy named Eric had asked her to meet him in some classroom, you’ve heard from some of his friends that he was asking Natty out to prom and planned a surprise. Meanwhile your dream date was sat five tables away from where you were. Laughter filled the table he and his friends occupied. He must be so funny then.

“Y/n?” Your friend’s voice was all it took for you to avert your eyes from Eunseok. “It’s kinda rude to just stare at your crush and daydream mid conversation, just so you know.”

You can’t help but laugh, at your friend’s jovial banter and at yourself for being so pathetic. “Sorry, Sho.”

“I was kidding, it’s totally fine Miss scared-of-confrontations.” you playfully rolled your eyes at him. 

“I’m not scared of confrontations.” but his words took you a step back and you thought maybe you truly were scared of confrontations. 

“Yeah? prove it! prove it! prove it!” and he kept repeating it like a kid and you had to shush him again. “Ask him out!”

“Shotaro, I've never wanted to punch someone this bad in my life before, just stop.” and he just laughs at you again. You look to your side, and coincidentally right into his eyes. It would’ve been the highlight for your day, the best day of your week —your life even— if not for the flowers he held in his hand. And no, they weren’t for you. You thought they could never be for you. He held them in his hands whilst he wore that grin that drew everybody in his presence. You looked away, not wanting to see the events waiting to unfold before you. 

“Let’s go, Sho.” you took hold of Shotaro’s wrist, dragging him out of the cafeteria with you. Once you were out of the bustling atmosphere, you started sprinting, still not letting go of your friend.

“Where are we going?” and then suddenly you stopped. 

You could see Natty holding hands with Eric from the other end of the hallway, and some of Eric’s friends tagging along from behind. 

“Oh, so that’s where Natty’s been. No wonder.” you hear Shotaro utter quietly from behind you. 

“Yeah. No wonder.” your lips spread to a small smile, seeing how happy Natty actually is. You just hope Eric isn’t just another guy.

“Hey, Y/n, why’d you pull me out of the cafeteria? I was trying to skin the fried tofu with my tee—”

“Sorry, I just didn’t want to see it —them, I mean.” your friend just stared at you, confused, and it showed on his face. A soft, but bitter laugh came out of your mouth. You figured Shotaro might’ve not seen what you saw, or maybe he didn’t care. “‘You-know-who’ was gonna ask some lucky girl to prom.”

“Really? Lucky?” he promptly shakes his head, and now you’re confused. “I don’t even know why I asked —anyways, I saw Mr.’Funny-Guy’ holding a bouquet. You know, for a second I thought you became Flash and just gave him those and asked him out to prom at ten times speed.” you laugh, and in all honesty just wanting to look past everything you saw, and everything that might’ve or did happen after the two of you ran off.

“Yeah. Very lucky.” Shotaro shook his head again, keeping his eyes on the smile that he could recognize from all the times you have found yourself on a disappointing stand. 

“I’m sorry to say this, but, Eunseok isn’t all that. You can have fun without him. You have Natty —or maybe not her because she’s probably gonna spend time with that guy— me! you have me! and Minji, though I’ve heard someone had asked her out, that's probably why she’s not around right now…”

With pursed lips and crossed arms, you searched for the sense in his words, and when you had found it he was already looking back at you. Tilting your head to the side, you hum, a nod following shortly after. Shotaro was once again confused. 

“Shotaro, how do you feel about going to prom with me?” you almost guffawed when he shrugged.

“Well, my plan was to just stick by you the whole night so we could have fun, so, technically…” he was suddenly stuck. “We’re best friends and all…”

“Yeah, but like, I’m actually asking you to be my date. Since we’re best friends and all.” you mimicked the tone that displaced his playful one when he spoke earlier. He scrunches his nose at you as some sort of counter-attack. 

“Okay. That’s great.” he mirrors your pose and crosses his arms as well, and you both tilt your head at the same time —and it was soon followed by laughter.

Osaki Shotaro is probably the third funniest person I know, or, should he be second? —you jot down on your notes app. You now lay on your bed, just a few nights away from prom. Your notes app became a little get away for you as it was easier to type than to write things down. You swear that the world will burn once someone has seen the things you’ve very diligently typed in the app. It was your safe space, locked away from everyone. Even from Natty. Even from Shotaro. I wonder what I should wear. I wonder what he’s gonna wear, what his date would wear. She for sure said yes. Who wouldn’t? I would, a hundred percent. I’m gonna have to make sure we don’t wear the same dress, not even the same color. What’s a rare color? —your thoughts were a river with no end. It just flowed, especially when you lay alone in your room paying mind to nothing with being in such a secluded and quiet place. You were there, the cold air against your exposed skin, but you would feel nothing of it. You were deep within the depths of your perception. You itched to know. Who was the girl? —and if you were being honest, you missed any signs of him being infatuated with someone else. Who am I kidding? It couldn’t be me.

For the days that followed, you kept your mind on what to wear. Of course, not without crossing paths with Song Eunseok. He seemed his usual self —if not happier. You refuse to see it that way, to accept that whoever she might be, she’s making him twice the smiley guy he is. You’d reunite with Natty and Minji eventually. They asked if you were attending prom night because they’ve heard of the news. It had seemed as if everyone saw it coming. Maybe they are a match. Maybe they just look that good together. Maybe they’re made for each other. 

“Maybe he just asked out a friend, you know, for a friendly date of sorts. Like you and Taro!” as sweet as Natty could be, you just truly wanted to avoid conversations regarding you-know-who. You’d just smile, not sparing her a look.

It was your way of telling people to stop talking about something that upset you, and Shotaro noticed right away even though you were late to catch up on your sides pressed against each other when he scoots closer. “Natty’s right.” he was regretful of that reply, so he’d quickly avert from the topic of you-know-who. “By the way Y/n, what are you gonna wear? the color and stuff, we can match.” your head snaps up, being reminded you should’ve been getting ideas for your outfit instead of being dazed over a boy that has never even bothered to acknowledge your presence. 

“I don’t know yet. I don’t have ideas right now. Do you?” you finally look over to Shotaro, and for a second you’d jolt seeing the tip of your nose and his only a little over an inch from touching. 

He backed away almost instantly with a swift reply of, “I don’t have any either. I mean, it’d be fine by me to take charge if we didn’t have to follow an attire.”

Smack. Timely, you both gasped hearing such a loud sound coming from one of your friend —Minji, who was looking a little more enthusiastic than usual. “I have an idea. Let’s all shop together. Natty and I can work on both of you.”

Natty’s beam infected you when you looked over at her because you knew they got your backs. And that was one thing off your checklist of worries. Only a few hundred more to tick. 

“My mom said she wanted to help you get ready for prom night.” —and with a few flips of a textbook you were already off and walking back home with Shotaro, like usual.

“Really? I mean, I suppose it’d be easier if I was there, then you wouldn’t have to pick me up.” you reply with a slight pout, giving his offer —or rather his mother’s— serious consideration.

“I mean, it could be that or you join us for dinner tonight. I kind of figured Auntie would prefer it if she was the one who helped you, you’re her daughter after all, aren’t you?” your hand came to catch the laughter from your lips as he spoke. A laugh, and a sneeze, to which Shotaro responds with, “Ew.”

“Don’t ‘ew’ me!” his giggles slid through your ears, filling it up with his sweet melody. “Ew.” and of course you had to bite back. 

“What? 'ew' what?” and he kept giggling.

You could only chuckle to yourself, biting down on your bottom lip. “Nothing” you breathe out. 

It couldn’t be just nothing. Or at least he hoped. And so like every rational and mature man, he snatched the hairpin that held your poorly cut bangs from your face and ran. He was lucky it sled off easily. You chased him whilst calling out for his name, threatening him with actions you would never do. You could never. All while he giggled to himself like a little boy. 

♪ ♪ ♪

[A week ago…]

Everyone tends to only consider what’s on the surface of the water, unknowing of the storm that lies underneath the seas.

“What about Shotaro?” “Forget him.”

No apparent aggression, but betrayal could be sensed with the constant fall of his intonation as he continued to speak, “He chose her over us.” and his breath falls along with his hands that got done with smoothing out the wrinkles on his uniform.

“I mean, you would too. Isn’t that why you two got into a fight?” he shrugged at his friend.

And then laughed.

“What’s so funny?” The friend had furrowed eyebrows as he inspected the demeanor of the man before him.

“He’s talking to her everyday now. Me on the other hand?” he looks to his left, the body-length mirror of his room. “I’m so close, yet so far. I don’t even think I amuse her.”

“Why not? you’re Song Eunseok, the funny —and insanely hot guy, come on now.” 

“Yeah. That’s the problem. Funny, insanely… hot?” 

The two laughed in chorus. 

“What’s the point of being so admired by so many people if the one I’ve been admiring doesn’t even give a flying fuck?” Eunseok shook his head as he spoke, facing his mirror and checking his reflection. “If anything she probably hates —no, not hate, but she doesn’t like me. For sure.” he straightens the collar of his shirt. 

“The popular guy stigma.” he laughs at his friend’s sigh, and he replies,

“It’s true for some people. I could see why she might think I’m like them.” he smiled but his movements would be a complete contrast to it as he kept fixing nothing and dusting off nothing on his uniform. “Say we weren’t friends, and you’re a transferee, how would you see me?” he turns around to face his friend who was flummoxed with his sudden question. 

“Well, I’m an extrovert myself, so I’d probably ask you to hang out first and foremost. You’re fine as hell, you’re quite the character.” Eunseok’s eyes traveled to the ground after hearing his friend’s response. He couldn’t quite tell if it was genuine or was just a guise to amuse him. This friend was not like the ones he once had in his life. Not like Shotaro. Not like you. 

“Character?” Eunseok chuckled to himself. “I wonder if this… character was why we grew apart.” 

“You and Shotaro?”

“Yes, and no.” Eunseok’s heavy sigh almost startled the other boy. “I’m talking about the girl.” a silent ‘oh’ was exuded from the boy’s mouth as he watched the other who moved to take a seat next to him. “I don’t get how moving schools cut our ties. Shotaro and I were still friends after I moved. I mean, we were neighbors. But still. Did she really not care about me?” 

“Probably. Girls do that, don’t they?” Eunseok laughed again, with knitted brows this time.

“No. We’ll never know.” he says, running his tongue over his top lip before he continued, “We’re a bunch of dicks. How would we know?”

And they guffawed. 

“Just ask her out to prom. Before Shotaro does.” Eunseok nods at his friend. “I bet you fifty bucks you can get her to say yes empty handed.”

“Dude, it’s not in me to not give her anything.” 

[Present Day]

If I can make you laugh, you’re going to prom with me.

It would’ve been raining diamonds if he was able to carry out his plan. He would make her laugh then she’s all his for prom night, and hopefully for the days that follow. 

But now he stood —oddly quiet— with his friends in a corner shop near school buying whatever shit they had to buy. “Hey nice guy! What's up? Is your mouth glued shut? stapled?” 

One of his friends had laid their arm over his shoulders, tightening his hold when Eunseok didn’t answer immediately. “I’m fine. I think the store ran out of condoms.” the other snorts at his answer, a poor attempt at a joke.

“Do virgins eat condoms?” a loud ‘tsk’ would follow after, “If you’re getting fucked it’s by something up there in your cranium. Tell me.”

Eunseok sighed as he mustered up the guts to tell. “I didn’t get the girl.”  

Surprised, and quite perplexed, his friend removed his arm from him to look him in the eyes saying, “What do you mean? I thought Gaeul said yes?”

“It was never Gaeul.”

“Then who?”

“You.” Eunseok grabs his friend's face, pretending to pull him in for a kiss. His friend —like every straight man— would counteract his actions. 

“Ew dude, I’m not fucking gay, for the last time!”

“It’s always been you.”

Eunseok would let go of his friend hearing another one of their friends approaching as she laughed. “Hi nice guy!”

“And hi to you too, Miss Korea.” the girl giggles at Eunseok’s reply. 

“Is it true? You and Heeseung have been sleeping together?” Eunseok smirked, hearing the girl’s jesting.

“What?” Before Heeseung could speak again, Eunseok butts in with a quip. 

“Oh, yes! But he hides it, he must be ashamed of me —ashamed of loving me!” dramatic, and exaggerated, still it was one for the titters.

“I hate you, Yuna. Have a nice fucking day.” and Heeseung walks out whilst the two continue laughing amongst themselves. 

The cackles died down once the two were left alone as their friends continued to roam the shop.

“Hey, not to be nosy or anything, but did you seriously not mean to ask Gaeul? sorry I just heard —I promise I wasn’t actively listening in.” Yuna even waved her hands in front of her face to dismiss any misinterpretations. 

And with a small smile, Eunseok breathes in to reply to her. “It’s okay. We weren’t exactly being discreet about it at all.” his eyes shifted along the shelves that sandwiched the two of them. “But yeah. I asked Gaeul because, I don’t know, why not?” 

Yuna nods at a broken pace for a couple of seconds as she tries to understand, getting caught up in some holes as she went through what he told her one more time before asking, “So, then, who were you meant to ask?”

“Doesn’t matter. She’s got a date already anyways. I got a date, she got a date, you got a date, everyone gets a date. It’s gonna be fun.” he displays a wide smile, but it was almost robotic in a way that made Yuna huff trying to get over how ridiculous he looked at the moment. “Do you mind me asking about your date Miss Korea?” 

“Well, I was hoping this guy would ask me. But I don’t think he had me in mind at all. But yeah, I’m going with Sungchan, you're going with Gaeul, we all have dates. Let’s be happy.” Eunseok chuckled at the way her voice imitated his in some way. 

“Yeah. Let’s be happy.”

♪ ♪ ♪

It’s been an hour or two of Natty and Minji flitting around the boutique to find you and Shotaro some nice outfits for prom night. The theme? “Retro romance.”

“It’s fun but I feel like there could be better themes. There’d be dozens of polkadot skirts, I can already see it.” Natty mumbles in between picking out a few dresses for you to try on. She holds out a shirt dress, yellow with hints of white in a gingham pattern. “This is pretty retro, right? we could pair it with a belt and a skimmer hat with a purple ribbon.” Natty scans the piece of clothing, moving closer to you and holding it out next to your figure. 

Your head snaps instantly when you hear an utterance next to you, “It looks cute.” Shotaro was a bit taken aback with how all three of you stopped just to look at him just because of his short little comment.

Minji approached, coming from a section of the boutique just a little farther from where the three of you were. She came walking with a few items at hand. It was a plain long sleeve shirt, white, a plaid suit vest —in the same color as the dress Natty held—, and some flared trousers in a darker shade of yellow, just a little muted. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, you guys need to get into the fitting rooms right now!” you giggled at the way Natty gushed and rushed to get you and Shotaro on your feet. 

Her giggles were all it took for you and Shotaro to speed to the fitting rooms. Once the dress went over your head and the skirt settled against your bare legs, your hands traced the shape of your waist seeing how perfectly the dress fits and hugs your body. You loved how the color complemented your skin. Like a perfect painting, freshly polished. You walked out of the fitting room, eyes glued to the flow of the skirt. Once your feet have crossed the line that separated the fitting room from the rest of the boutique, your eyes land on the floor. Your lone feet were now joined by another pair dressed in white Nike air force 1s.

Looking up to your right, smiling eyes greet your own. “Sho, you look dapper!” your exclaim lifted the corners of his mouth to their highest point. 

“Wait till I get my hair done.” he says with his chest up and then playfully biting his lower lip. 

You laugh at his face, slightly shoving him from where he stood with a light push. He —very gently— bumps his shoulder onto yours, causing you to tilt a tad. With a little chortle, you tell him, “You don’t really need to get it done. It looks good the way it is.” as you ruffle his hair.

He lets out a giggle, so soft and gleeful. “Whatever you say, pretty.”

Walking back to your friends, from a distance, their eyes welcomed the two of you. Their compliments almost fell from the end of their tongues. A gasp leaped over Natty’s words, her hand rushing to catch her breath. “You look cute together!” and you almost gagged from all the cooing. As opposed to you, Shotaro just smiled, his eyes were smiling too. Smiling at you. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary —you’d convince yourself. But your cognition went offbeat when you met his eyes, and yours would hastily look around for something, anything to subside the feeling that was simmering from within you. 

You were thankful that Minji made her comment before anyone noticed. “You look like twin bananas.” your face would scrunch up, and she’d slightly repel, speaking again, “I was trying to say the colors looked cute!” you hear Shotaro’s giggle again. Instinctively, you peered at him. Your best friend.

He used to be your best friend too. 

“Y/n?” 

You shook your head, your lips forming the best smile you could pull out of your blues. You raised your brows at your best friend who had called you out of your thoughts. “I like these outfits. Let’s get them, yeah?”

“Yeah. I like them too.” he nods along with his words. “Told you you’d look great in anything!” he gently nudges at you when he spews the acclaim.

Just days before he assured you that finding a decent outfit would be no problem, emphasizing that “you already look good with just our school uniform on.” —you’d dispense a hearty cackle, though, you knew he must’ve been sincere with it all, you only intended to humor the situation. All for the sake of not having to foster thoughts about everything he’s said to and done for you for the past two weeks after the ‘you-know-who incident’. 

All the while ‘you-know-who’ feigned folly. It was the only way he could ever allow himself to overlook the facts that unfolded from across the street in front of him. The fact that her happiness radiated in high magnitudes. The fact that she laughed with someone else, wore stupid banana-colored matching outfits with someone else —that she laughed with that guy as if he was the greatest comedian she knew. It was the fact that she was happier without him, and that he could never make her laugh like whilst she held on her tummy as her face formed creases of joy. She was only on her way out when he saw her. It’s the happiest he’s ever seen her. No matter how much he loathed the cause of your glee, seeing her smile, grin and giggle made him float to the skies. He daydreamed about what it could sound like, her laughter. Must be delightful with how tightly the other guy had clutched onto her hand. Eunseok looked away before he could fall any deeper. He crossed the road, and her too. He caught a whiff of her almond saffron perfume, and he fished for her gaze only to be met with the eyes he despised the most. “Osaki Shotaro pisses me off.”

Eunseok was now in a cafe to meet up with Gaeul for the first time ever since asking her out to prom —impulsively. She was yet to arrive, so he got on the phone with his dear friend Yeonjun. “We know, we know. But if you’re that competitive why don’t you make moves huh?” Eunseok breathes out a scoff after hearing Yeonjun’s taunting.

“If you knew me at all, you know i’m all but competitive.” Eunseok kept his gaze on the bell above the door, any moment from then it could sound Gaeul’s arrival, not that it was enough for him to pay mind to. 

“Yeah, you’re all that, aren’t you?” Yeonjun tittered from the other line. He calmed himself down at an instant when he realized that Eunseok was shut quiet. “You know, Sungchan told me something about his sister, Y/n.” Eunseok had parted his lips, but was unable to utter his next words —those which he had trouble finding— so Yeonjun spoke again, “He said she liked one of her best friends back then. It could be you or Shotaro, but what if it’s been you all along?”

Foot tapping at a pained tempo, Eunseok almost choked holding back a guffaw. “Me? Was I the one she’s been hanging out with? was I the one by her side when her dog died? or when she received such a shitty exchange gift when she had spent loads of time and money for her gift?” Eunseok swore he could see Yeonjun with pursed lips. 

The bell sounded just as Yeonjun replied, “It’s not entirely impossible—” *phone beeps* Eunseok ends the phone when Gaeul greets him with heart eyes. Like every girl would. 

It didn’t make sense to Eunseok. Every other girl liked him, stared at him for too long sometimes. You were —in his world— every girl. You were the girl that laughed at him when he skinned his knee while he raced against the wind with his bicycle. You were the girl that gave him your frosted animal crackers when he left his lunch box at home. You were the girl that hid her face when she cried after he had told her that he was moving away with his family. You were the girl that pretended not to recognize him at the themepark when he came around to visit again. You were the girl who continued to shun him everyday now that you were in the same highschool. You were all that —and more— to him. You were every girl in his life, in his story, in the little sit-com he lived in.

“So, what do you plan on taking for college?” he stared at the girl who queried him, though it was not clear to her —nor to himself what exactly he was staring for, or at rather. 

Eunseok clears his throat, digging around in his mind for the answer, “I plan to take a b-a —uh, public relations.” he chuckled seeing how she fought the grimace from spreading throughout her face. “Sorry if i’m not the computer science or architecture typa guy.”

Gaeul quickly wards off any misunderstandings by hastily shaking her head as she utters, “Sorry, I just haven’t heard that from anyone before. In fact, I'm quite unfamiliar with it.” he leisurely nods, his teeth subtly digging into his bottom lip at the last rise of his head. “Would you mind explaining it to me? your career path and all.”

He raised his brows, a low chuckle, barely audible, was trapped behind his pressed lips. “No, not at all.” maybe, just maybe, he could get his head out of the past, the memories of you. You. Maybe after he’s gotten to know this girl that actually acknowledged his presence and seemed to be genuinely curious to seek for what’s beyond his social persona. The talk was definitely long enough for their lava-hot coffee cups to run cold. And surprisingly for him, there was more gained than said.

♪ ♪ ♪ 

Prom night came around, but before it did you made sure to avoid crossing paths with him, or taking turns at the wrong corners and run into him and Gaeul —again. You were never able to be verbal with how grateful you were that Shotaro had been sticking to you ever since you’ve gone to the boutique. His puns and your exchanged banters drew your attention away from Eunseok. 

At prom night, Shotaro picked you up with his dad’s car. You scrambled around looking for your purse when you saw him from outside your living room window. He leaned his back against the driver’s seat door, waiting and anxiously fiddling with his fingers. You released a deep exhale once you were faced with your front door. Shotaro stared at the door mat, and when he saw that bright yellow skirt flowing with the cold wind of the night, he gazed up. His eyes lit up as if they had sparklers in them. He had seen you in this dress before —at the boutique, but somehow the atmosphere and the anticipation of taking your hand in his and dancing with you on the dance floor all night made him feel like it was his first time ever trying to catch your eyes behind that beige skimmer hat you wore. 

With only a few five steps distancing the two of you, you greet him. “Hi.”

“Hello.” after a minute of —unnecessary— loud silence, you both burst out laughing. “I’m Shotaro, and this pretty girl’s name would be?...”

Your hands settled on your waist, tilting your head —and finally locking your eyes with his. Your lips would curve into a small smile, giving into his little roleplay. “The name's Y/n.” you hold your hand out for a handshake, and you receive it in no time.

“Well, good eve Miss Y/n. It’s my first time seeing you around here, perhaps you’re from out of town?” you suppress your giggle, lips pursed as you composed yourself.

“I could say the same about you.” he chuckles at you, eyes all smiley, like always.

“It doesn’t have to matter pretty, would you dance with me tonight?” he asks with raised brows, and a voice silk like whiskey. 

Though his voice caused a short stagnation with your breathing, you cleared your throat, hoping that would ease the one-sided tension. Then suddenly, you gasped, “And for you to expect me to go out with a stranger? how bold!” and very dramatically too.

His eyes dilated, again, laughing against his lips. He gradually pulled his occupied hands from behind his back at the same pace at which he spoke. “Maybe, a little gift would change your mind?” and by then, a bouquet of chocolates —your favorite kind— was being waved, just slightly, right in front of you. 

“What? I thought you were saving up? those are expensive!” a hefty load of air went through your nose, taking in the sweet scents of cocoa and sugar.

“Not really expensive, just pricey—”

“Same thing!” Shotaro’s chest was struck by your gentle hand, and he’d hold it there. Your palm was pressed against his heartbeat. You kept your eyes on your hand as you felt for the thumps on his chest. It was paced and certainly not calm. “Sho… you okay?”

With your gaze up at him and a flick of your lashes, his hand found its way on top of yours. And for a while, he’d clasp onto your hand, his grip growing tighter with every count of a second. He gently guides your hand off his chest, lowering it on level with your waist. “I’m taking that as a yes, pretty.” he utters softly as he guides you to the passenger seat of the car. 

Once you were seated, you stared straight ahead, not minding Shotaro who went around again to get into the driver’s seat. You anxiously fiddled with the fabric of your skirt, and once you heard the driver’s seat door close, you patted down the cloth and smoothened it with your hands. 

“Are you okay Y/n?” the boy beside you asks, and you —obviously— had thoughts running in your head by the looks of your eyes alone. 

“Yeah, it’s just…” you were quite embarrassed to admit, “I don’t get why I’m like this either, but…” but it’s nothing Shotaro hadn’t heard from you, right? “I don’t know if I’ll enjoy it if I saw him there with another girl. I’m sorry, Sho.”

You watched as Shotaro’s hands took grasp of the wheel, his thumb grazing against the leather ever so slightly. “Prom is not about Song Eunseok. We can very much enjoy it without seeing him at all. How about we just pretend he doesn’t exist for the night? how’s that sound?” He was calm, and so sweet sounding. He held out his hand with his palm facing the sky, offering to ease your worries. 

You took this offer, just for the sake of feeling better and getting your mind off of who wasn’t there for you, and who hasn’t been for eight years. “Thank you, Sho.”

Now his thumb grazed over the skin of your hand. “Anytime. You know I love you, right?” 

“I know, you’ve been telling me that since we were kids.” you giggled at each other, before the engine started and you were both off to prom night.

♪ ♪ ♪

For most of the night, you stuck by Shotaro —as promised— and you two danced, even though you were quite the dancer yourself, he urged you to join him. It was fun, even more so for him. He was so kind to you tonight, so gentle. Well, he’s Shotaro, and he’s made you smile, giggle, titter with his little jokes, his compliments, his smile. 

“Thank you for tonight.” you were sitting at an empty table. You had laid your head on your date’s shoulder as your eyes wandered around the scattered bunch of attendees dancing the night away.

Prom king and queen were to be announced after the current song, you heard from one of the other attendees. “Thanks to you too. I had loads of fun.” the back of his hand gently bumps against yours. You caught the signal, placing your hand on top of his palm. He closes in on your hand, and opens it again, then closes, and opens again, “Look, it’s an alligator.” he giggles right into your ear, continuing the closing and opening motion as he brings your entwined hands to your face. 

“Sho!” you breathe out as a laugh follows shortly. “Hate to break it to you, but that’s not what an alligator looks like.”

“Oh, okay then.” he removed his hand from underneath yours, and soon your palms touched each other. You very carefully lift your head from his shoulder, and your eyes land on his face, observing the way his nose scrunched up when he started playing with your hands. “How about this?” he lifts your hands to your face again, showing the little alligator he had created with your joint hands. 

And then your eyes meet. Your smile was so soft, as well as your eyes. He thought he was going to melt into a puddle. He just hoped nothing would ruin this serene view. You’re so delicate and beautiful. The night went exactly like how he planned —for the most part. You two were all smiles and laughs when your sides were pressed against each other or when your hands were connected. But one instance of you separating to get drinks for both you and him, he wasn’t expecting you to come back with tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. It was his instinct to always be there for you, and so he rushed to take you in his arms. It hurt him that you weakly tried to fight off his embrace, but then you broke into a sob and meekly laid your weight onto him. His hand encloses yours as he takes you back to the car. He thought about driving you home, so you can rest and feel better. But he took a turn away from where you lived.

“Where are we going, Sho?” your dainty voice pricked his heart.

“Just, somewhere.” 

He didn't let go of your hand till he took you home, but until then, you both sat by the riverside with juice boxes and convenience store sandwiches. 

“What’s wrong with me? he doesn’t even care about me, or you —at least not anymore.” you munched on the cold sandwich salted with your own tears as you spoke. 

“Well, at least he doesn’t hate us, right? and look, I’m pretty sure if you asked him for help, or a favor or something, he won’t refuse.” Shotaro had his eyes on you only, even if he had asked you to take a breather and watch the river flow. He sighs softly, seeing your gloomy eyes blinked continuously to fight off the tears. “Friends grow apart, it really isn’t his fault he found friends he enjoyed being around with more than—”

“More than us. Yeah, I get it.” a bitter laugh escaped your lips, and you gulped as a single tear trickled down to the side of your face. 

Shotaro was quick to not let it run down to your neck, wiping it off with a gentle touch to your face. You took a hold of his wrist, calmy removing his hand from your face and moving it to let it settle on his lap, but before you could let go of him, he brought your hand back in his with one swift motion. Your eyes grew wider than before, blinking a few more times as you held eye contact. 

“Can I ask for a favor?” you blinked one more time at his question. 

“Yes Sho.”

“I know you like Eunseok —still, and I know you don’t have it in you to just forget him, especially when we used to be the best of friends.” 

You took a stuttered breath, eyeing Shotaro’s fingers as he drew shapes on your hand. 

“But please, forget him.” and another stuttered breath. “It doesn’t have to be now —what I’m trying to say is, if he managed to stop looking out for you, I won’t. No matter what happens.” your eyes soften, keeping it locked with his. “Even if you say no to my favor.”

You raised your brows, visibly confused. “Isn’t the favor to forget about him?”

You felt his grip on your hand tighten, and you could see the movement in his throat as he gulped. 

“Y/n, can I court you?”

♪ ♪ ♪

[Earlier that night…]

“And now, for prom king…”

It was undoubtedly,

“Song Eunseok!”

Great. Just great. Eunseok badly wanted to just drown in the crowds of people, but instead he allowed himself to be pushed onstage by his friends. And there he stood, next to the prom queen —thankfully, it was Yuna, and not just some other girl. The girl seemed to be ecstatic, giving Eunseok a high-five. Still, after being crowned and a brief photoshoot session, he hurried back to his date who wore rosey cheeks and a shy smile. 

“Hi prom king.” She greets him as he gets closer.

Once he was right in front of her, she wrapped her arms around her neck. He wasn’t surprised, not until she got on her tiptoes to place her lips on his. Just for a short while. 

“I like you, Eunseok.” he blinked once, biting onto his bottom lip.

He couldn’t quite figure out what it was, but suddenly his head was brought up —just above Gaeul’s head— where from a distance, he spotted you. Looking so sweet, so flawless in that yellow shirt dress. He loved how you just walked around with that smile he’d always daydream about. In those five seconds of him marveling in the sight of you, he never realized you were looking right at him, then at the shorter girl in front of him. And with a blink of an eye, you were gone. 

“Eunseok?” he cleared his throat, finally looking back at Gaeul. 

He ponders for a while, and he looks up again. Then he meets another pair of eyes. It belonged to the arms that held you that night as you sobbed. 

“I like you too.”

It was all too late, wasn’t it? There was no way Shotaro hadn’t already planned to ask you out after tonight. Right?

[Two weeks later…]

“How’s it with Gaeul?” Eunseok shook his head at his friend’s query, almost laughing at the tone of his question. 

“We’re fine, Chenle.” he replies with a slight sigh, which only drove his friend to question him more. 

“Yeah, yeah. But, are you really over… you know.” Chenle brought his eyes to the side.

Eunseok knew better than to look at where his friend’s eyes laid on, instead he’d just answer him, “I’m not. But it wouldn’t hurt to try. Besides, doesn’t she look happier?” 

“She does.” he almost broke into a pit of laughter with how fast Chenle responded to his words. 

“She really does.” Eunseok would repeat to himself, only very subtly looking over at your direction.

So close, yet so far. And now, completely out of reach. He watched from the other end of the hallway as you unload your locker, and right next to you was Shotaro who held everything you took out of it, filling his hands. After closing your locker, you’d take half of what he held. Then you laughed. To this day Eunseok was still curious. Did your laugh sound any different after eight years?

“Bro, don’t you think you’ve been looking for too long?” 

Eunseok finally parts his eyes from your sight, looking back at his friend with the smile he always wore around school, the one that no one could ever really tell whether it’s superficial or genuine.  

“What do you mean? It’s only been eight minutes.”

And eight years. 

♪ ♪ ♪

Highschool went by like a fly, so irritating that it lingered for a while. But you were happy that even though you’ve taken a dozen bites, you were still able to be the luckiest of the lucky. Especially with him by your side. Maybe it was too early to speak on things, but you are in your second year of college now, and he’s never stopped looking out for you. So you did the same for him. 

“Hey Sho?” you spoke into your phone after the ringing stopped. 

“Hi Y/n! sorry I can’t join you for lunch, but for dinner we’ll definitely—” he was cut off by your soft chuckle, finding himself freezing up for a second.

“I know Sho, you told me last night. So that’s why—” you took the steps up to his department’s building, stopping by the glass doors. “I’m here to drop off your lunch.”

“Lunch? Wait, I’m running down right now!”

“Entrance two.”

“Entrance two, got it —what did you get?”

“I cooked!”

“You cooked? holy shit, okay.”

You purse your lips as you suppress your laughter, and within under a minute, you see him running from the inside towards the transparent doors. He rushed out of the doors, greeting you with a hug. You were both giggling against each other. 

“Sho!” you almost dropped the lunch bag when he spun you once. 

His eyes smiled at you —like always— once he’s let go of you. You wore a wide smile, biting your lip as you extended your arm to give him the lunch bag. “This is way better than take out.”

You chortle and shake your head. “How would you know? you haven’t even tasted it yet!”

“I’ve tasted your ramen!”

“Instant ramen doesn’t count!” 

You wished you could just bask in each other’s little banters and laughs, but eventually he had to go back to finish what he was working on. 

“Natty will join us for dinner, she and Eric had another fight.” you tell him as you fixed his collar a bit. 

“Again? What's going on with Eric?” you shrugged at him, finally smoothing out his shirt. 

“Nobody knows.”

You understood why people fought, that sometimes, even the smallest things on the surface could indeed be plunged deeper than the depths of the oceans. Now all you could hope is for the couple to reconcile. You knew them both well enough by now to tell that both of them mean well at the end of the day and in some way are just trying to protect each other. 

That’s why at dinner, you were all eyes and ears for Natty as she went on with the details of how everything went down, and you held her hand seeing that it was difficult for her to let it all out. By the end of the day, she’d thank you and Shotaro, and the two of you would be left in the confines of your apartment complex. The talk lasted for longer than what you’d expect —not that you mind— and when you looked out the window, the sky was black and blank. The street lamps were all lit, coloring the streets amidst the darkness. You breathe in once, turning around, only to be met with Shotaro who was getting ready to go home. From what you can recall, he wasn’t gonna be busy for a while. 

“Sho?” his head snaps up from his shoelaces that he was only getting started to tie back up. He hummed you a reply, smiling so dearly and letting his eyebrows rise a tad. “Can I ask you a favor?”

He was a bit taken aback at your question, but he could never say no. “Yeah, of course! "What is it, pretty?”

That feeling you felt back at that old boutique was coming back to you, and in its fullest form. No longer something you would ward off and ignore, but something you wanted to accept and embrace. You thought maybe you were somewhat a bit standoffish, not being able to see through your best friend’s compliments and cute little nicknames —not to mention everything he’s done for you. You thought it was kind of funny. Then, it only took you eight seconds to spot Eunseok within a crowd, but it took you eight years to realize that your bestest friend of all saw you more than a best friend. Funny how you’ve kept Eunseok name at the top of your ‘funniest people I know’ list when no one had ever made you laugh as much as Shotaro did. You made a mental note to yourself to edit that later on, but for now,

“Stay for tonight. It’s quite late.” you glanced over to your wall clock. “A quarter till twelve.”

His eyes shifted around for a while, like he was looking for his answer around the space of your home. “If it’s fine with you, I would —but really, I can go home just fine. I can call you while I walk home.”

You chuckled, taking in his wide open eyes and slightly parted lips. You subtly chew on your bottom lip for a second before telling him, “I want you to stay, Sho.” 

He was a frozen stick of butter by the time those words left your mouth. And he’d let himself melt when you came close to remove his scarf off of him. He removes his shoes, then his coat. And for a while you both stood in front of your door, just staring at each other before laughing at each other's faces —with no particular reason. He takes both of your hands, keeping them warm with his own. 

“Now, about the favor…” your eyes shy away from him as he tilts his head.

He fishes for your eyes, asking, “Wasn’t this the favor?” a soft giggle escapes his mouth just as he finishes speaking. 

You can’t help but giggle too. This time you look him right in the eyes. “Sho, we’ve been best friends for fourteen years.” he gulped at your words, feeling a little nervous with the way you spoke. “And you’ve been courting me for two years.”

“And a half.” he sheepishly adds. 

You breathe out a laugh, “And a half.” you mumble as you intertwine your fingers with his. “I think we should stop being best friends.”

You can’t help but laugh at the way his face contorts at what you said. “Wait, what?” “Wait, what I’m trying to say is…” you both utter at the same time, still being mindful of your volume —you had neighbors after all. 

“Can I be your girlfriend already?” 

You were smothered with a hug, tiny pecks and his sweet giggles. The next thing you know, you were laying on your bed, all cuddled up against each other. He caresses your hair, something he’s always wanted to do. 

“You know we can be together and be best friends at the same time, right?” he whispered to your ear, holding you closer to him. 

You only hummed a reply to him, feeling too tired to open your eyes or speak up. You’d hear one last giggle and feel strands of your hair being moved out from your face before you drifted to sleep. 

♪ ♪ ♪

[Eight months later…]

It was a busy day. You were lined up to seize an opportunity of a lifetime, and you haven’t even graduated college. You were hopeful that they might consider your talents. A wise man by the name of Shotaro once said, “Fashion design is your thing, you can do it! I bet twenty.” you really hope you’d lose that twenty bucks. 

“Y/n?” you were spooked for a second, it’s a familiar voice. “Hi!” and a very familiar face.

“Gaeul?” your eyes dilated at the sight of her. 

She’s just as pretty as the last time you saw her. “Long time no see!” she opened her arms, inviting you in for a small hug, which you accepted gleefully. “How have you been?”

That single question brought you to lunch with her, and of course you had to bring Shotaro along. 

“I’ve always thought you two looked cute together, I’m glad to see the both of you happy.” she gives both of you a soft smile. 

“Thanks, well, how about you? still with Eunseok?” you quietly gasp, stilling yourself in your seat but still knitting your brows at your boyfriend. 

You felt that neither of you were really in the place to ask about her love life. “No, it’s okay!” Gaeul’s assurance helped calm your nerves. “I’m single.”

The two of you just nod, and you found that it was best to not pay much mind to it anymore. You engaged in constant conversation throughout your whole time eating, it was all very wholesome, and you were happy that Gaeul was making steps to achieving her dreams just like you were. The talk about relationships seemed to have sinked, well, not until Shotaro had to excuse himself in the bathroom.

“We were never together —at least it didn’t feel like it.” Gaeul’s utterance caught you off guard. You fell silent all of a sudden, and she noticed. “It never felt real. I cut ties with him after three weeks. And then he told me that—” she flicked her tongue over her top lip for a short while, “He liked you.” 

You took a second to take a sip of water, gulping like you were drinking thick sand.  

Despite parting with smiley farewells, her words dropped a heavy load on you. You carried it till you got back to your apartment and got settled on your bed. It was so heavy that you dropped it all on him, at a seemingly random moment. 

“She said he had a picture of me from our 8th grade yearbook in his pocket.” 

What you had shared with Shotaro struck him like livid thunder. He didn’t expect that Eunseok’s feelings for you would persist. He just wondered if it’s still there. But he could only hope for the best. Even after the whole conflict of two best friends liking the same girl —who also happened to be their best friend too— Shotaro still cared for Eunseok, even if he seemed entirely indifferent to him.

But it didn’t have to matter anymore. You chose him. He’s the one in your home, on your bed, always by your side, never to leave you.

♪ ♪ ♪

[Eight years later…]

What was once a small, dull colored room with faulty curtains and ugly flooring became a shared bedroom, in your shared house with the love of your life. Where the sunshine seeps at dawn, and the moon peeks at your dreaming bodies at night. It felt wonderful. Love felt so wonderful. Shortly after moving in together, you adopted a dog. You didn’t get that opportunity with that one clothing line back then, but now, you owned a line of your own. Your life couldn’t be anymore complete. 

Even if it wasn’t perfect. The flaws only proved your happiness to be real. After a night of too much alcohol at your highschool reunion, Shotaro would tell you exactly why he stopped talking to Eunseok. He cried about it all, saying that he knew all along that you two liked each other. But you were all over it now, and it was Shotaro who’s been by your side. Not everyone was able to attend that reunion —because apparently they were too successful to be there.

Yuna, you knew she was a friend of Eunseok. She approached the two of you at your table, greeting the both of you with a warm smile. “My boyfriend’s having a stand-up show this saturday, I was hoping the two of you could come. In fact, he wanted me to invite you guys.” then you were given two tickets for the venue. 

There weren’t any other details, the ticket was white, with not much but the title of the show. 

The next morning, you’d discuss it with Shotaro on the dinner table. You were sitting next to each other, his arm wrapped around your waist and his head resting on top of yours. “The time is pretty tricky, I have work scheduled at that time.” he plants a kiss on your temple before continuing to speak, “You should definitely go though! I’ll pick you up after, then —remember that dog cafe I told you about? we have to visit it after.” 

You giggled, looking up at him. He couldn’t resist by then, and would lower himself a bit to kiss you. And it wasn't a short one, more like a twenty-minute film. Nonetheless, it was beautiful, and you’ve never felt so loved. 

That Saturday, you went to the venue alone, but not without having the sweetest breakfast of your life with your lover. Pancakes with chocolate syrup, whipped cream and a few berries, and of course, a cup of coffee before proceeding to your own schedules for the day. 

You took the bus on the way there since Shotaro had to leave earlier. The show was a little later in the afternoon. 

When you got there, you looked for any familiar faces, but it was only when you got seated that Yuna came and sat down next to you. You two greet each other with inviting smiles, and a few minutes before the show starts, you’d converse and catch up a bit, after all, it’s been eight years.

“Gentlemen.” a voice echoed throughout the room. 

When you looked up at the stadium, “Gentlemen, may I have your attention —and ladies, I know I already got you.” 

What a surprise. And it was a pleasant one at that. He fits this line of profession. He seemed to enjoy being up there, talking and joking about whatever. It was just like meeting him all over again. He’s just being himself up there. Your best friend from childhood, that sadly didn’t even make it till middle school. Now, you were finally able to laugh at his jests, sometimes stopping for a while to process what he was saying. Still, the atmosphere was light and fun. The audience was truly alive, and so were you. 

At one point, he started talking about his girlfriend. Not quite hard for you to figure out since you remember Yuna mentioning at your reunion party that you were being invited to this show by her boyfriend, Song Eunseok.

“So, I finally decided to do something about it. I bought one of those electric blankets. Problem solved, right? Wrong. Now, our bed is divided like the Korean Demilitarized Zone. She’s over there toasty warm, and I’m on my side sweating like a marathon runner in a sauna. But you know what? I wouldn't trade her for anything. Because at the end of the day, it just gives me another reason to hold her close and keep her warm. And that, my friends, is how you win brownie points with your girlfriend.”

You can’t help but share a laugh with Yuna, letting her hold on to your shoulder as she titters. 

Eunseok saw you, how could he not when you were sitting next to his girlfriend. He was only a bit curious about Shotaro’s absence.

You’d explain it to him at the end of the show, “Sho’s got work, but he’s coming to pick me up.” you both stood just outside the venue, at the side of the building with a little less people going around.

“Sho? What happened to Taro?” Eunseok raised a single brow, and you’d chuckle. 

“Because you used to call him Taro.” you reply with a slight smile.

“Right.” he nods, his pace decreasing gradually as he tries to reach for something at the back of his tongue, “I’m just curious, did you actually hate me back then? like, when I moved and stuff.”

You chuckle a little louder, leaving him puzzled. “I liked you. I just avoided you. I just thought you didn’t care anymore.” you answer so simply, shrugging towards the end of your sentence.

“I thought you hated me, that’s why I wasn’t talking to you.” you took a sharp breath through your nose when he finished speaking. 

Then suddenly you both snort at the whole thing.

“It’s funny.”

“It really is.”

As your laughter died down, he’d clear his throat to ask you, “So, are you and Taro married?” you could see his eyes locked on the ring on your finger. 

“Engaged.” you nod, and he imitates your action. 

“Wow. I should propose to Yuna right now.” your eyes widened an inch, he could be joking, but you wouldn’t be surprised if he actually did. Besides, you could tell how much he loved his girlfriend just by that one ment he did earlier at the show.

“So suddenly?”

“Yeah, so then we’d be even!” 

It reminded you of a time in your childhood where you’d share your food with him because he forgot his lunchbox. You usually gave him more food, just cause you could, but then he’d give some back to you and he’d say, “Now we’re even.” it pulled on your heartstrings, but now you kinda wish you gave him just a piece or two of your animal crackers —and maybe two sips of your apple juice when the weather’s nice. 

“I’m afraid I'd scare her off and she’d say no.” 

“Really?” —you truly were a bit shocked that he was worried about being rejected. “Well, I believe she’ll say yes.”

“Really?” he imitates you again —the tone of your voice, “What makes you think that?”

You gave yourself a few seconds to think about what you were gonna answer to him. Suddenly you remember what you’ve written in your notes app. The funniest people I know. 1. Osaki Shotaro, 2. My dad, 3. Natty… he was off the list, but now, maybe it was for good reason. He was always known for being funny, now he has built a career out of it. Maybe, he was the greatest comedian of all. 

“You might just be the greatest comedian I know.” 

He laughs at your declaration of his greatness with his hands in his pocket, “I’m probably the only comedian you know.” —and more laughter.

He appreciated that you thought he was the greatest comedian. But as he looked back on the past, a past that was once painful, full of regret and missed opportunities, where you missed each other and realized only later in life. That period of your life would still prove to be pivotal. Right person, wrong time? maybe, but what else could it be other than silly memories when you find yourselves laughing about it. You’ve already settled for a love that you both deserve, a love that mended your hearts. It was all for the better, no matter how downcast all of it may seem. Worth a laugh, and a good story. 

The story started with oblivion, and a bouquet of flowers you never received, but it ends with two pairs of engagement rings, and two pairs of smiling hearts. That’s four people —in case you missed it. 

God did a great job writing their fate. And to Eunseok, God is the greatest comedian of all.

End.

cheers to a hundred peeps!! :3

[lure-of-writing]

I'm Sorry

Authors note: Hi everyone! long time no see! I am finally back with what I think will be the last part of the "Never Good Enough" Series (Even though I feel like I should make one with the opposite ending, but that's a topic for a different day) and as always I can't wait to hear what you think and I hope you enjoy!

Summary: After one year, you and Azriel are finally in the same room again and actually ready to talk about your feelings

Word count: 6.2k

Warnings: None- please let me know if I forgot any

Part one, part two, part three

It had been a year since Azriel had last seen you and almost two since you had last lived in the house of wind with him, Cassian and Nesta. Every day since he last saw you was a painful reminder of what he could have had with you but Azriel also knew there was no one to blame but himself. 

“He will never be someone I need saved from. You on the other hand, well the same can’t be said for you.” Your words from that day plagued his mind at every moment of the day. When he was with his family, while on a mission, when training with Cassian. Every single moment of every single day it's all he could think about, well that and the way your face just looked so heartbroken and so tired. After he watched you winnow away with Kolos, Azriel knew that he had to change, become a better for you and then maybe then you would be willing to give the mating bond a chance. Azriel knew that the likelihood of you agreeing to try was practically nonexistent but even if there was a sliver of hope then he was going to do anything to try and make it work. 

In the days following your final departure from the inner circles, Azriel made a plan of the things he needed to right and the things he needed to change in order to give himself a fighting chance of getting you back starting with Elain. 

He had found her exactly where he knew she would be; in the garden of Feyre and Rhysands river house tending to the blooming flowers. “I need to talk to you.” These were the first words Azriel has said to the middle sister in almost a year. He watched as Elain wordlessly moved to sit on a bench while she made a gesture for him to sit. He did not. For a minute all he did was stare at Elain, he wondered how he could ever be with someone like her, someone who wasn’t you. Azriel cleared his throat before speaking. “What we did was a mistake. You have a mate and I should have respected that and you should have also but I am willing to admit that I  didn’t. I think it goes without saying but I deeply regret ever having a relationship with you, if we can even call it that. Y/n is my mate and I will do everything in my power for her to give us a chance and even if she doesn’t it does not  mean that I will want a relationship with you. I will never want a relationship with anyone but her. I am not asking for you to be understanding of this; but I do need you to be respectful of both me and y/n and whatever relationship we might have.” 

He watched as Elain processed his words and for a few minutes there was nothing said. Just the sound of birds singing in the distance along with the sound of the city of Velairs. “No.” Azriel was stunned. “No?” Finally she looked at the shadowsinger “No. I will not respect her since she has never once respected me or our relationship so I won’t respect yours. If there even is one that is. Plus Azriel you would have never regretted it if she wasn’t your “mate”. Once you realize everything she’s told you is a lie you will come right back to me but just know I won’t take you back.” Azriel had never seen Elain act or say anything like that before, apparently he didn’t know her as well as he thought he did. “I will never come back to you Elain. But just know if you disrespect her again, even if she's not here, I will not tolerate it.” With that he left the disgruntled woman where he found her.

A few days later Azriel found himself in Rhysands office. Rhys sorted through letter after letter while waiting on Cassian's arrival. “Have you tried to reach out to her?” he wasn’t sure why Rhys was asking considering that he knew the answer “No, I’m giving her the space and time that she requested, Why do you ask?” Rhysand glanced a look at him over the papers. “Just curious.” Azriel knew better than to believe Rhysand was simply “just curious”. “What is the real reason for asking?” Azriel was never to get his answer because just as Rhysand went to open his mouth Cassian came strolling into the room and with that their meeting started. 

At first Azriel did not understand how he could be someone you needed to be saved from but the more he sat and replayed the last two interactions he had with you he came to understand where he went wrong. It was not easy to admit that he was in the wrong but he was willing to do anything for you, even if that meant taking a long hard look into the mirror and confronting all of his ugly actions and words towards you , whether they had been intentional or not. After sitting and thinking about how to do better for you Azriel was hit with a groundbreaking realization. There were many moments in life where he had not been wanted even by the people that were supposed to want him. He remembers so vividly how it felt when he was rejected or picked last just because of who he was. He finally understood what you had been saying this whole time. Being picked because you were the last option or because the person picking you had no other option was gut wrenching and that was exactly what he had done to you. If only he had understood this two years ago then maybe he wouldn’t be in this position. Somehow Azriel had to find a way for him to show you that he would pick you a million times over without question, without any hesitation because he wanted you like he's never wanted anyone else. 

Kolos watched over the course of the two years as you pieced yourself back together again. With the help of him of course. Nothing brought him more joy than seeing you flourish after walking away from your mate. At first all you did was cry because you were never sure if you had made the right decision or you were angry at how you found out about your mating bond or simply just angry that these were the cards you had been dealt. 

“I hate him.” Kolos held your shaking body in his arms while you screamed into the darkness of the night. “I hate him so much. How could he do this to me?” Once more he simply held you and offered no answer for he had none. He, himself, could not understand why Azriel couldn’t see what was right in front of him. 

“If you think any harder, that little brain of yours just might explode.” Kolos studied you as you took a seat in the chair in front of his desk propping your legs up on his desk. “How very kind of you my sweet y/n.” snorting you smiled while shaking your head. “Couldn’t get any sweeter if I tried. Trust me I would know.” “Oh I’m sure.” for a second the conversation lulled but it wasn’t uncomfortable you both just sat and observed each other for a minute. “So what do I owe to the pleasure of your company?” grinning from ear to ear you shrugged “I figure that just my mere existence would bring you some much needed joy since without me your day would be quite dreary.” He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. Placing an arm on top of his desk he rested his head upon his hand slightly tilted. “How did you know?” he said dramatically. “Anyone's day would get better if they were blessed with my presence.” At that he chuckled “Never been wrong a day in your life huh?” “Never.” lazily you got up out of the unusually comfortable chair. “As much as I enjoy doing good deeds for those in need, unlike you I have a job to do so I will have to cut this charity session short today. I’ll see you later” and with that you were out of his door not without giving him a wink and catlike smile. 

Kolos knew that lately the two of you had been crossing over the line of just friends but he would never pressure you into something more. He always followed your lead and respected your feelings. When you first came back to the dawn court there was definitely some light teasing tossed around but he could tell that it was a way to deflect your true feelings and distract yourself from having to feel them but now it was different. It was genuine. 

Less than an hour later Kolos was sat across from you where the closest member of Thesans court sat at a circle table. Once again you winked at him with a sly smile before turning to face where Thesan was seated. You were going to be the death of him. For an hour you sat and listened to whatever news the different members had to deliver to your high lord before he relieved the true reasoning for the meeting. “I would like to take a visit to the night court in a few weeks time.” you were stunned to say the least. As high lord Thesan didn’t need to run anything by you but you would assume considering all things he would have at least given you a warning. You looked towards the second in command and saw that Kolos looked just as surprised as you felt. At least you weren’t the only one kept in the dark about this choice. 

After taking a much needed bath to relax you quickly dried off before donning a comfortable pair of loose trousers and a sweater you had stolen from kolos months ago on “accident”. Moseying into the living room you found kolos laying on the cream colored couch holding what you could only assume to be anything but interesting reports about nothing important. He watched as you went into the kitchen and started preparing something that he was assuming was for the both of you. “Is that my sweater?” without missing a beat you responded. “And if it is?” for a second he took in your appearance. Wet hair messily braided and resting on top of your shoulder, slightly flushed skin from a bath that he knew was unnecessarily hot, once he walked into the bathroom after you had taken a bath and wonder if he had been transported into a boiling pot of water instead of his bathroom and he wasn’t even in the water he just took a breath of the hot air and that was enough for him, the look of you all bundled up in his sweater. And he couldn’t find it in himself to care that you stole his clothes, you looked better in them anyways. “Then you should keep it. It looks good on you.” Kolos knew you to be a flirt but what you said next truly caught him off guard. “It would look better on the floor.” 

Azriel had just returned from yet another mission when Rhysand had summoned to his office where he saw just about every member of the inner circle waiting for seemingly his materialization. “What’s going on?” Azriel watched as his high lord and lady went back and forth mentally on how to tell him about whatever was going on. By the looks of everyone, no one had died or disappeared while he was gone so it couldn’t be that bad. Rhysand quickly looked at Cassian before turning his focus onto him. “Thesan would like to have a meeting with me here in the night court. He said he would like to bring some of his court members with but did not specify which ones. Y/n could be in attendance or she could not be, I don’t know.” Rhysand watched as his brother took in the information he provided him and waited for a reaction.

 “When?” Feyre spoke before Rhys could. “In a week's time.” Azriel nodded his head at the information but everyone in the room could tell that it hasn’t really registered with him that you may be in the night court again or even within his sight. “I pray to the mother that she will be here.” It was all that Azriel could say without feeling completely overwhelmed. He may be a crytherian and have been in more wars then he would like to remember but this is the most nervous he's ever been in his life. Azriel knew he had been preparing for months for this exact moment but now that it is arriving he wished he could have a few more months to keep getting ready to speak to you again. Even with the lack of feeling prepared he would do everything in his power to show you just how much work he's put into becoming better for you. 

“Cat got your tongue Kolos?” never in his seven hundred year life had he been more dumbfounded then he was in that moment. “Y/n that's not something to joke about.” He watched as you crossed the kitchen and moved to sit across from him on the couch as he moved himself to sit upright in front of you. “Who said I was joking? I mean come on Kolos I’ve been quite blatantly flirting with you for weeks now and you have done nothing but respond to it a few times here and there. I wait to be more than friends, that is unless you do not return my feelings." If you were the same woman you had once been while living at the night court you would have been terrified that his answer could be no but you were no longer her. You were different now, confident and self-assured and countless other empowering things but you were also fearless. Even in a moment where you should be scared you knew no matter what you would be ok and that's all that mattered. Night court you would never recognize dawn court you and for that you were more than thankful. 

“Of course I return your feelings” you watched as Kolos fought to find the right words. In his moment of silence you took a moment to truly take in his beauty. While Azriel was mesmerizing and could capture the attention of anyone who spared a glance his way, his beauty would tempt yours in and consume all of it, not letting it ever come back again. Azriels beauty was cold and ruthless. Koloss beauty on the other hand was warm. His golden skin radiates warmth and comfort so do his emerald green eyes that welcome you with uncontained joy. His shoulder length chocolate brown hair, that was always half tied up, helped complete his look of safe comfortability. Kolos had beauty that complemented anyone who was around him. His beauty would bring out yours without any question. You wondered how you were so blind to his beauty before, how had you not noticed it? “And I knew that you were flirting with me obviously, I was doing it back but I just wanted you to be able to heal and figure out what you wanted to do. I was following your lead. I was waiting for you to make the first move. I never wanted to do something and make you uncomfortable so I was waiting for you to decide what you wanted.”  

“Was what I said earlier about your sweater looking better on the floor a good enough first move or should I have been even bolder? I’m not really sure how I would get any bolder than that though.” Suddenly the male before you was full on belly laughing and before you knew it he was pulling you into himself. “That was more than bold enough.” gently he cupped your cheek bringing you to face him. “Can I?” his eyes ghosted over your features while he waited for you to respond “Ever the gentlemen”  he watched as you finally gave him the go ahead. “Of course.” without being told twice he pulled you into his lips and Kolos swore nothing was ever going to beat the feeling of your lips on his. 

During the week leading up to Thesans planned trip to the night court you and Kolos talked about what you wanted and didn’t want, how to go from friends to lovers and anything in between but most importantly how you were going to deal with Azriel once again, since both of you were one hundred percent sure that he would be there no matter what other obligations he had going on. 

It was the day before you were to leave with the rest of Thesans court members to attend the meeting with the night court when you found yourself strolling into Koloss office to bother him yet again. “ I’m convinced that you don’t actually do anything besides walk around and bother people.” Kolos didn’t even have to look up to see that it was you who had entered his office. “Be nice Kolos or you just might hurt my feelings.” hearing the slight pout in your voice he looked up to find you perched on the corner of his desk and honestly he wasn’t sure how you got there with him noticing but what he did notice was the mischievous look in your eyes. “But I only walk around and bother you. For the most part I just sit around and look pretty. I thought you knew that?”  Kolos could hear the teasing in your voice and once again he knew your only real intention to come to his office was to bother him but he didn’t mind at all, not with you smiling at him like that. “I would never dream of hurting your feelings but thank you for informing me that I am the only person who you bother, it really makes me feel better about myself. And as for you just sitting around and looking pretty, that sounds about right. I knew we didn’t give you a real job.” The light smack you delivered to his arm was accompanied by your sweet laughter filling the room as you tilted your head back from his remark and Kolos knew he would never get enough of that sound “And here I thought you were such a gentleman.”  Kolos grabbed the hand you smacked him with and brought it to his lips to place a loving kiss on the back of your hand. “For you sweetheart I will be anything.” 

Kolos knew today was going to be a true test for not only you but also for your newfound relationship. Kolos had no fear that you would be swayed by whatever stunt Azirel was sure to pull, since he knew you would not have entered a relationship unless you were one hundred percent sure that it was what you wanted, but he was definitely skeptical of Azriel and what he would do. The lengths he would go to to get you to accept the bond and him. 

Thesan, his lover and Kolos himself were in the common throne room waiting for all members of the court to arrive when he saw you walk in with another advisor. You were clearly in a deep discussion when you looked eyes with him. He watched as the two of you slowly made your way over to the now forming circle of people and heard you excuse yourself from the conversation while also promising to continue it at a later time. “So are we thinking this is going to be a full on shit show or a semi-shit show?” Kolos chuckled under his breath as not to disrupt the group with the belly laugh that was threatening to take over. “I was thinking it was going to be more of a game of tug-of-war?” you glared at Kolos as he took in your outfit. It was a two toned dress, one side a light pink and the other a light peach color. The top was asymmetric leaving one shoulder bare and the other covered and of course in y/n fashion the bottom had a slit going up the leg as usual. “I’m kidding sweetheart. It is only going to be a shit show if Azriel opens his mouth otherwise we're safe.”  Kolos’s unworried smile was the last thing you saw before Thesan winnowed you to the night court. 

Once again you were back in the presence of people you once saw as family. Rhysand was standing promptly at the front of the group like you knew he would be and next to him was Freye. She looked as poised as ever. To her left was Cassian and Nesta looking less than impressed to be a part of this meeting, not that you blame them. It doesn’t take a genius to know that once the high lords left to have their private conversation shit would hit the fan. Lastly to Rhysands right was Azriel, you didn’t have to look in his direction to know that he was looking at you. So skipping over him you looked to the spot next to him expecting to see Morrigan standing next to him but she wasn’t and you couldn't help but wonder where she was at. 

“Welcome to the night court.” Rhysands presence took over the room just like his words did. “Thank you for having me. And the members of my court, it is greatly appreciated.” you didn’t hear much after that. You were too busy avoiding four pairs of pleading eyes and praying to the mother you make it out of this meeting relatively unscathed along with Kolos, mother knew he needed it more than you. 

It had been at least two hours of Thesan and Rhysand going back and forth about whatever they deemed necessary when you felt Kolos nudge your arm with his. Slowly you looked to see what he wanted “How are you doing?” he questioned quietly while Cassian was speaking. “I’m fine, I just forgot how boring these meetings are. I wasn’t kidding when I said my job is to sit around and look pretty, I have no idea what's going on. I’m going to die of boredom.” Kolos held back the laugh he wanted to let out. He knew that you did in fact know what was going on; you just couldn’t care less about court politics. He also knew you do more than just sit around and look pretty. “Well you are doing an excellent job of pretending that you are lost and you also are doing a good job at doing your “real” job. Keep it up.”  

You felt Azriels eyes bounce between you and Kolos through your whole interaction. Actually you felt his eyes on you the whole time since you quite literally magically appeared in front of him. He had watched every move you make, every subtle shift of your face. He watched everything. You could tell he was trying to be nonchalant while in your presence but he was greatly failing. Azriel may be the spymaster but to you he was always an open book from day one and it seems that some things never change. Placing your elbow on top of the table then resting your head on it you stared at the male who once had your heart. If he wanted to be out right obvious then so could you. 

Finally Rhysand, Freye and Thesan went to have a private conversation and only then did Azriel come to approach you. You hadn’t even been about to stand from your seat when you felt his presence looming over you. “I need to talk to you. Alone please. Only if you allow it of course.” Azriel watched as you contemplated his words before finally you nodded and motioned for you to lead the way. 

If there is one thing that Azriel is used to, it is silence. Being the spymaster and all meant that silence was a staple in his work environment, that is of course unless it called for the opposite. But the silence between the two of you was nerve wracking as he led you to an open cloister before stopping to look at you. Something was different about you but it couldn’t put his finger on it and if he was being honest with himself it scared him not knowing what it was. 

Leaning against a pillar you watched as Azriel fought to pick the right word to say. You could tell that he had changed just from watching during the meeting. He was remorseful but also he finally respected not only your choices but you. Silence continued to envelope the space between the two of you while contemplative looks were shared between the two of you. Finally Azriel has the courage to clear his throat and begin speaking. “How have you been?” you know that you shouldn’t be caught off guard by his question. You were friends for hundreds of years before you were mates. “I’ve.. been…good.” if he noticed you lack of a better word, which he did, he didn’t mention it. “How about you, how have you been?” you so desperately wanted to tack on “How have you and Elain been?” on the end but you refrained. Another argument with Azriel was the last thing you wanted to do again.  “I’ve been good.” again quietness fell upon the two of you as you nodded in understanding to Azriels answer. 

When it became obvious that Azriel wasn’t going to say anything you did. “So what did you need to talk to me about?” this seemed to knock Azriel out of whatever trance he was in. You examine Azriel as he takes a deep breath in an attempt to still himself for whatever he was about to say because clearly it was making him nervous. “There is a never ending list of things that I need to apologize for and trust me I will but for now let me start with this. I ended everything with Elain. I made it very clear what we did will only ever be a mistake and nothing more than that. Not only does she have a mate, which in retrospect I should have accepted at face value and not go forward with a relationship with her and I know that not everyone wants to be with their mate and chose to find another partner that isn’t their mate, but Lucien is not a random person, he is a friend of not only Freye but of the night court and I should have respected him and unfortunately for him, his very unwilling mate.” Azriel took a breath giving you a chance to respond but when you didn’t he continued on. There was no way he was going to mess this up now even with your unflinching gaze upon his and lack of verbal response to his apology. It may make him want to empty the lunch he had earlier into whichever bush was closest but he would endure it to make things right with you.

 “I am ashamed to admit this but it took me longer than I would have liked to finally understand what you were saying all those months ago. And I sincerely mean it when I say I am so extremely sorry for the pain I have caused you. I hope you know that it was never my intention to hurt you. I was absolutely blind to the love you had for me even if it was right in front of my face literally for hundreds of years and I now understand what you mean by being my second choice. First it was Morrigan, then it was you. After Morrigan it was Elain and then it was you. You were never first on the list and you are absolutely right when you said if it wasn’t for the bond I would have never picked you. There are so many excuses I could give you as to why it was never you but truthfully none of them would ever be close to good enough. I was too busy looking for the person and love I thought I wanted without ever stopping to realize the person and love I needed was right in front of me this whole time, and for that I am sorry.” Again you simply looked at Azriel without saying anything so he continued on even though he was sure his heart would give out at any second from how hard it was beating. 

“I am going to be honest. If it wasn’t for the bond then no I probably wouldn’t have picked you over Elain. I would like to think that one day I would have come to my senses and realized it was you that I wanted and not her but I can’t say that for certain. But I have thanked the mother everyday since the bond snapped into place that you are my mate. I’ve have wanted nothing more than to find my mate and I finally have. I know that I have to earn your trust and prove to you for the rest of eternity, just how much I am grateful that you are my mate, but it is something I am willing to do if it means I get a chance to try again with you. But…” 

You may be a different person then what you were two years ago when you left the night court but deep down Azriel is still your friend, he is still someone you would never want to hurt no matter how much he hurt you. So to see the tears welling in his eyes hurt your heart. 

“But if this is not something that you want then I will accept your choice, no matter how much it hurts. I will respect that choice. I won’t try to change your mind. I won’t beg you to change your mind, no matter how much I want to. If this mating bond isn’t what you want then just know that I will always be here ready to give us a try. No matter how much time has passed, whether it's one hundred years or a thousand I will be here waiting with open arms just for you. There will never be another person. There is only you. Since the moment I knew we were mates it has only ever been you.” 

For the first time since that fateful day you allowed Azriel feel your emotions through the mating bond and he did the same. Remorse, longing, heartbreak, sadness any and every emotion was overwhelming the both of you. It brought tears to your eyes just like it had pushed the tears in Azriels eyes over the dam of his lashes. “Come here” you beckoned while trying to fan the tears away. Azriel didn’t need to be told twice and before he knew it you had wrapped him in your arms and placed your head in the crook of his neck. And Azriel knew there was never going to be a more perfect feeling than you in his arms. Azriel wrapped you in his arms just like you had done with him mere moments before. For a long while there was no sound besides the random sniffle and rouge sob that would escape from each other's body. “I am so sorry.” He mumbled while pressing a kiss into the crown of your hair. Reluctantly  he pulled your body away from his and what he found broke his heart even more. Tear stained cheeks that were flushed from crying and red rimmed eyes looking back at him. In that moment Azriel swore to himself that he would never be the reason you cried again. 

Bending down to be eye level with you he wiped away your tears while taking in just how beautiful you were even after crying. For a long second you and Azriel just stared into each other's eyes before you finally looked away. 

“Oh mother, that really hurt my soul.” a breathy laugh fell from your face as you wiped away the tears that fell after Azriels hands returned to his side. “I can’t believe you said that to Elain. I’m sure she was pissed wasn’t she?” your mate shrugged while giving you a cheshire cat smile. He may not have said anything, for probably  not wanting to admit you were right about Elain not being as nice and innocent as she portrays, but his body language told you everything you needed to know. 

“I truly appreciate your apology and I am happy that you finally understand what I was trying to tell you all those months ago. You're smart so I knew you would have figured it out eventually.” Azriel laughed at your attempt of a joke. But then he watched as it was your turn to struggle for the right words and suddenly he was nervous all over again. “I don’t know how to say this or if there even is a right way to say this but Azriel please know that what I am about to say is not meant to hurt you in any way. It's actually the last thing I want to do.” It was as if Azriel had been pushed underwater because suddenly he couldn’t breathe and he knew you were going to walk away from him once again by the time everything was said and done.

“As much as I appreciate everything you said and trust me I do. It means more to me than you know. And I can tell how much work you put into understanding where I was coming from which again I truly appreciate it but I need to be honest with you. There are wounds that I am still healing from when I found out we are mates, and it has nothing to do with you. I promise it's just something that I need to work out on my own, and please don’t worry it’s getting better day by day. But there is also something I need to tell you.” Azriel watched as you wring your hands from nerves. “I am in a relationship with Kolos. And I’m sure you have questions but I am not ready to answer them and I hope you can respect that. I don’t know where my relationship with him is going to go but what I can say is that I am finally happy, Azriel. I am not pining after someone who doesn’t want me like I want them and it feels so good to be wanted for no other reason than simply being wanted. And I'm sorry that this information hurts you but I feel the need to be honest with you even though it hurts.” 

“I can’t say for certain that I do or don’t want the bond with you Azriel but for now I want to see what else life has to offer me. Completely on my own and not as a member of the night court or day court or whatever other titles have been given to me. I want to go live life unapologetically and maybe one day when everything is said and done I will be able to let go of the anger and hatred I have felt towards you for the past two years. I don’t want to hate you Azriel but there is nothing but sadness and anger and hate towards you and until those feelings are gone I can’t love you. So for now I am going to walk away, not from you but from this relationship because I am not ready. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for breaking yours. I can’t promise that I will ever come back but all I ask is that if I do, you welcome me with open arms and a forgiving heart.” 

If Azriel wasn’t heart broken at what you told him before then he sure was now. But he would never be mad at you for doing whatever was best for you even if it meant not being with him. For the second time in his life because of you he was speechless. He knew you were waiting for him to say anything but he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried, there were no words. Or maybe not enough words in the human language to describe what he was feeling either way he wasn’t sure. 

With your mates lack of words you took it as your cue to leave. You placed a kiss upon his cheek and held his hand before slowly backing away while you took in your mate for one last time for mother knows how long. Reluctantly you gave his hand a tight squeeze before letting go “I’m sorry.” 

Unable to say anything, Azriel watched your retreating figure go as you followed the path he led you down to get to the cloister, once around the corner he fell to his knees and allowed himself to mourn for the first time in years since learning of your mating bond. Just around the corner you listen to Azriel cry in heartbreak while you felt all of his emotion and once again felt your own heartbreak and for the first time in your life you wondered if you had made the right choice. 

It had been a year since Azriel had last seen you and almost two since you had last lived in the house of wind with him, Cassian and Nesta. Every day since he last saw you was a painful reminder of what he could have had with you but Azriel also knew there was no one to blame but himself. 

“He will never be someone I need saved from. You on the other hand, well the same can’t be said for you.” Your words from that day plagued his mind at every moment of the day. When he was with his family, while on a mission, when training with Cassian. Every single moment of every single day it's all he could think about, well that and the way your face just looked so heartbroken and so tired. After he watched you winnow away with Kolos, Azriel knew that he had to change, become a better for you and then maybe then you would be willing to give the mating bond a chance. Azriel knew that the likelihood of you agreeing to try was practically nonexistent but even if there was a sliver of hope then he was going to do anything to try and make it work. 

In the days following your final departure from the inner circles, Azriel made a plan of the things he needed to right and the things he needed to change in order to give himself a fighting chance of getting you back starting with Elain. 

He had found her exactly where he knew she would be; in the garden of Feyre and Rhysands river house tending to the blooming flowers. “I need to talk to you.” These were the first words Azriel has said to the middle sister in almost a year. He watched as Elain wordlessly moved to sit on a bench while she made a gesture for him to sit. He did not. For a minute all he did was stare at Elain, he wondered how he could ever be with someone like her, someone who wasn’t you. Azriel cleared his throat before speaking. “What we did was a mistake. You have a mate and I should have respected that and you should have also but I am willing to admit that I  didn’t. I think it goes without saying but I deeply regret ever having a relationship with you, if we can even call it that. Y/n is my mate and I will do everything in my power for her to give us a chance and even if she doesn’t it does not  mean that I will want a relationship with you. I will never want a relationship with anyone but her. I am not asking for you to be understanding of this; but I do need you to be respectful of both me and y/n and whatever relationship we might have.” 

He watched as Elain processed his words and for a few minutes there was nothing said. Just the sound of birds singing in the distance along with the sound of the city of Velairs. “No.” Azriel was stunned. “No?” Finally she looked at the shadowsinger “No. I will not respect her since she has never once respected me or our relationship so I won’t respect yours. If there even is one that is. Plus Azriel you would have never regretted it if she wasn’t your “mate”. Once you realize everything she’s told you is a lie you will come right back to me but just know I won’t take you back.” Azriel had never seen Elain act or say anything like that before, apparently he didn’t know her as well as he thought he did. “I will never come back to you Elain. But just know if you disrespect her again, even if she's not here, I will not tolerate it.” With that he left the disgruntled woman where he found her.

A few days later Azriel found himself in Rhysands office. Rhys sorted through letter after letter while waiting on Cassian's arrival. “Have you tried to reach out to her?” he wasn’t sure why Rhys was asking considering that he knew the answer “No, I’m giving her the space and time that she requested, Why do you ask?” Rhysand glanced a look at him over the papers. “Just curious.” Azriel knew better than to believe Rhysand was simply “just curious”. “What is the real reason for asking?” Azriel was never to get his answer because just as Rhysand went to open his mouth Cassian came strolling into the room and with that their meeting started. 

At first Azriel did not understand how he could be someone you needed to be saved from but the more he sat and replayed the last two interactions he had with you he came to understand where he went wrong. It was not easy to admit that he was in the wrong but he was willing to do anything for you, even if that meant taking a long hard look into the mirror and confronting all of his ugly actions and words towards you , whether they had been intentional or not. After sitting and thinking about how to do better for you Azriel was hit with a groundbreaking realization. There were many moments in life where he had not been wanted even by the people that were supposed to want him. He remembers so vividly how it felt when he was rejected or picked last just because of who he was. He finally understood what you had been saying this whole time. Being picked because you were the last option or because the person picking you had no other option was gut wrenching and that was exactly what he had done to you. If only he had understood this two years ago then maybe he wouldn’t be in this position. Somehow Azriel had to find a way for him to show you that he would pick you a million times over without question, without any hesitation because he wanted you like he's never wanted anyone else. 

Kolos watched over the course of the two years as you pieced yourself back together again. With the help of him of course. Nothing brought him more joy than seeing you flourish after walking away from your mate. At first all you did was cry because you were never sure if you had made the right decision or you were angry at how you found out about your mating bond or simply just angry that these were the cards you had been dealt. 

“I hate him.” Kolos held your shaking body in his arms while you screamed into the darkness of the night. “I hate him so much. How could he do this to me?” Once more he simply held you and offered no answer for he had none. He, himself, could not understand why Azriel couldn’t see what was right in front of him. 

“If you think any harder, that little brain of yours just might explode.” Kolos studied you as you took a seat in the chair in front of his desk propping your legs up on his desk. “How very kind of you my sweet y/n.” snorting you smiled while shaking your head. “Couldn’t get any sweeter if I tried. Trust me I would know.” “Oh I’m sure.” for a second the conversation lulled but it wasn’t uncomfortable you both just sat and observed each other for a minute. “So what do I owe to the pleasure of your company?” grinning from ear to ear you shrugged “I figure that just my mere existence would bring you some much needed joy since without me your day would be quite dreary.” He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. Placing an arm on top of his desk he rested his head upon his hand slightly tilted. “How did you know?” he said dramatically. “Anyone's day would get better if they were blessed with my presence.” At that he chuckled “Never been wrong a day in your life huh?” “Never.” lazily you got up out of the unusually comfortable chair. “As much as I enjoy doing good deeds for those in need, unlike you I have a job to do so I will have to cut this charity session short today. I’ll see you later” and with that you were out of his door not without giving him a wink and catlike smile. 

Kolos knew that lately the two of you had been crossing over the line of just friends but he would never pressure you into something more. He always followed your lead and respected your feelings. When you first came back to the dawn court there was definitely some light teasing tossed around but he could tell that it was a way to deflect your true feelings and distract yourself from having to feel them but now it was different. It was genuine. 

Less than an hour later Kolos was sat across from you where the closest member of Thesans court sat at a circle table. Once again you winked at him with a sly smile before turning to face where Thesan was seated. You were going to be the death of him. For an hour you sat and listened to whatever news the different members had to deliver to your high lord before he relieved the true reasoning for the meeting. “I would like to take a visit to the night court in a few weeks time.” you were stunned to say the least. As high lord Thesan didn’t need to run anything by you but you would assume considering all things he would have at least given you a warning. You looked towards the second in command and saw that Kolos looked just as surprised as you felt. At least you weren’t the only one kept in the dark about this choice. 

After taking a much needed bath to relax you quickly dried off before donning a comfortable pair of loose trousers and a sweater you had stolen from kolos months ago on “accident”. Moseying into the living room you found kolos laying on the cream colored couch holding what you could only assume to be anything but interesting reports about nothing important. He watched as you went into the kitchen and started preparing something that he was assuming was for the both of you. “Is that my sweater?” without missing a beat you responded. “And if it is?” for a second he took in your appearance. Wet hair messily braided and resting on top of your shoulder, slightly flushed skin from a bath that he knew was unnecessarily hot, once he walked into the bathroom after you had taken a bath and wonder if he had been transported into a boiling pot of water instead of his bathroom and he wasn’t even in the water he just took a breath of the hot air and that was enough for him, the look of you all bundled up in his sweater. And he couldn’t find it in himself to care that you stole his clothes, you looked better in them anyways. “Then you should keep it. It looks good on you.” Kolos knew you to be a flirt but what you said next truly caught him off guard. “It would look better on the floor.” 

Azriel had just returned from yet another mission when Rhysand had summoned to his office where he saw just about every member of the inner circle waiting for seemingly his materialization. “What’s going on?” Azriel watched as his high lord and lady went back and forth mentally on how to tell him about whatever was going on. By the looks of everyone, no one had died or disappeared while he was gone so it couldn’t be that bad. Rhysand quickly looked at Cassian before turning his focus onto him. “Thesan would like to have a meeting with me here in the night court. He said he would like to bring some of his court members with but did not specify which ones. Y/n could be in attendance or she could not be, I don’t know.” Rhysand watched as his brother took in the information he provided him and waited for a reaction.

 “When?” Feyre spoke before Rhys could. “In a week's time.” Azriel nodded his head at the information but everyone in the room could tell that it hasn’t really registered with him that you may be in the night court again or even within his sight. “I pray to the mother that she will be here.” It was all that Azriel could say without feeling completely overwhelmed. He may be a crytherian and have been in more wars then he would like to remember but this is the most nervous he's ever been in his life. Azriel knew he had been preparing for months for this exact moment but now that it is arriving he wished he could have a few more months to keep getting ready to speak to you again. Even with the lack of feeling prepared he would do everything in his power to show you just how much work he's put into becoming better for you. 

“Cat got your tongue Kolos?” never in his seven hundred year life had he been more dumbfounded then he was in that moment. “Y/n that's not something to joke about.” He watched as you crossed the kitchen and moved to sit across from him on the couch as he moved himself to sit upright in front of you. “Who said I was joking? I mean come on Kolos I’ve been quite blatantly flirting with you for weeks now and you have done nothing but respond to it a few times here and there. I wait to be more than friends, that is unless you do not return my feelings." If you were the same woman you had once been while living at the night court you would have been terrified that his answer could be no but you were no longer her. You were different now, confident and self-assured and countless other empowering things but you were also fearless. Even in a moment where you should be scared you knew no matter what you would be ok and that's all that mattered. Night court you would never recognize dawn court you and for that you were more than thankful. 

“Of course I return your feelings” you watched as Kolos fought to find the right words. In his moment of silence you took a moment to truly take in his beauty. While Azriel was mesmerizing and could capture the attention of anyone who spared a glance his way, his beauty would tempt yours in and consume all of it, not letting it ever come back again. Azriels beauty was cold and ruthless. Koloss beauty on the other hand was warm. His golden skin radiates warmth and comfort so do his emerald green eyes that welcome you with uncontained joy. His shoulder length chocolate brown hair, that was always half tied up, helped complete his look of safe comfortability. Kolos had beauty that complemented anyone who was around him. His beauty would bring out yours without any question. You wondered how you were so blind to his beauty before, how had you not noticed it? “And I knew that you were flirting with me obviously, I was doing it back but I just wanted you to be able to heal and figure out what you wanted to do. I was following your lead. I was waiting for you to make the first move. I never wanted to do something and make you uncomfortable so I was waiting for you to decide what you wanted.”  

“Was what I said earlier about your sweater looking better on the floor a good enough first move or should I have been even bolder? I’m not really sure how I would get any bolder than that though.” Suddenly the male before you was full on belly laughing and before you knew it he was pulling you into himself. “That was more than bold enough.” gently he cupped your cheek bringing you to face him. “Can I?” his eyes ghosted over your features while he waited for you to respond “Ever the gentlemen”  he watched as you finally gave him the go ahead. “Of course.” without being told twice he pulled you into his lips and Kolos swore nothing was ever going to beat the feeling of your lips on his. 

During the week leading up to Thesans planned trip to the night court you and Kolos talked about what you wanted and didn’t want, how to go from friends to lovers and anything in between but most importantly how you were going to deal with Azriel once again, since both of you were one hundred percent sure that he would be there no matter what other obligations he had going on. 

It was the day before you were to leave with the rest of Thesans court members to attend the meeting with the night court when you found yourself strolling into Koloss office to bother him yet again. “ I’m convinced that you don’t actually do anything besides walk around and bother people.” Kolos didn’t even have to look up to see that it was you who had entered his office. “Be nice Kolos or you just might hurt my feelings.” hearing the slight pout in your voice he looked up to find you perched on the corner of his desk and honestly he wasn’t sure how you got there with him noticing but what he did notice was the mischievous look in your eyes. “But I only walk around and bother you. For the most part I just sit around and look pretty. I thought you knew that?”  Kolos could hear the teasing in your voice and once again he knew your only real intention to come to his office was to bother him but he didn’t mind at all, not with you smiling at him like that. “I would never dream of hurting your feelings but thank you for informing me that I am the only person who you bother, it really makes me feel better about myself. And as for you just sitting around and looking pretty, that sounds about right. I knew we didn’t give you a real job.” The light smack you delivered to his arm was accompanied by your sweet laughter filling the room as you tilted your head back from his remark and Kolos knew he would never get enough of that sound “And here I thought you were such a gentleman.”  Kolos grabbed the hand you smacked him with and brought it to his lips to place a loving kiss on the back of your hand. “For you sweetheart I will be anything.” 

Kolos knew today was going to be a true test for not only you but also for your newfound relationship. Kolos had no fear that you would be swayed by whatever stunt Azirel was sure to pull, since he knew you would not have entered a relationship unless you were one hundred percent sure that it was what you wanted, but he was definitely skeptical of Azriel and what he would do. The lengths he would go to to get you to accept the bond and him. 

Thesan, his lover and Kolos himself were in the common throne room waiting for all members of the court to arrive when he saw you walk in with another advisor. You were clearly in a deep discussion when you looked eyes with him. He watched as the two of you slowly made your way over to the now forming circle of people and heard you excuse yourself from the conversation while also promising to continue it at a later time. “So are we thinking this is going to be a full on shit show or a semi-shit show?” Kolos chuckled under his breath as not to disrupt the group with the belly laugh that was threatening to take over. “I was thinking it was going to be more of a game of tug-of-war?” you glared at Kolos as he took in your outfit. It was a two toned dress, one side a light pink and the other a light peach color. The top was asymmetric leaving one shoulder bare and the other covered and of course in y/n fashion the bottom had a slit going up the leg as usual. “I’m kidding sweetheart. It is only going to be a shit show if Azriel opens his mouth otherwise we're safe.”  Kolos’s unworried smile was the last thing you saw before Thesan winnowed you to the night court. 

Once again you were back in the presence of people you once saw as family. Rhysand was standing promptly at the front of the group like you knew he would be and next to him was Freye. She looked as poised as ever. To her left was Cassian and Nesta looking less than impressed to be a part of this meeting, not that you blame them. It doesn’t take a genius to know that once the high lords left to have their private conversation shit would hit the fan. Lastly to Rhysands right was Azirel, you didn’t have to look in his direction to know that he was looking at you. So skipping over him you looked to the spot next to him expecting to see Morrigan standing next to him but she wasn’t and you couldn't help but wonder where she was at. 

“Welcome to the night court.” Rhysands presence took over the room just like his words did. “Thank you for having me. And the members of my court, it is greatly appreciated.” you didn’t hear much after that. You were too busy avoiding four pairs of pleading eyes and praying to the mother you make it out of this meeting relatively unscathed along with Kolos, mother knew he needed it more than you. 

It had been at least two hours of Thesan and Rhysand going back and forth about whatever they deemed necessary when you felt Kolos nudge your arm with his. Slowly you looked to see what he wanted “How are you doing?” he questioned quietly while Cassian was speaking. “I’m fine, I just forgot how boring these meetings are. I wasn’t kidding when I said my job is to sit around and look pretty, I have no idea what's going on. I’m going to die of boredom.” Kolos led back the laugh he wanted to let out. He knew that you did in fact know what was going on; you just couldn’t care less about court politics. He also knew you do more than just sit around and look pretty. “Well you are doing an excellent job of pretending that you are lost and you also are doing a good job at doing your “real” job. Keep it up.”  

You felt Azirels eyes bounce between you and Kolos through your whole interaction. Actually you felt his eyes on you the whole time since you quite literally magically appeared in front of him. He had watched every move you make, every subtle shift of your face. He watched everything. You could tell he was trying to be nonchalant while in your presence but he was greatly failing. Azirel may be the spymaster but to you he was always an open book from day one and it seems that some things never change. Placing your elbow on top of the table then resting your head on it you stared at the male who once had your heart. If he wanted to be out right obvious then so could you. 

Finally Rhysand, Freye and Thesan went to have a private conversation and only then did Azirel come to approach you. You hadn’t even been about to stand from your seat when you felt his presence looming over you. “I need to talk to you. Alone please. Only if you allow it of course.” Azirel watched as you contemplated his words before finally you nodded and motioned for you to lead the way. 

If there is one thing that Azirel is used to, it is silence. Being the spymaster and all meant that silence was a staple in his work environment, that is of course unless it called for the opposite. But the silence between the two of you was nerve wracking as he led you to an open cloister before stopping to look at you. Something was different about you but it couldn’t put his finger on it and if he was being honest with himself it scared him not knowing what it was. 

Leaning against a pillar you watched as Azirel fought to pick the right word to say. You could tell that he had changed just from watching during the meeting. He was remorseful but also he finally respected not only your choices but you. Silence continued to envelope the space between the two of you while contemplative looks were shared between the two of you. Finally Azirel has the courage to clear his throat and begin speaking. “How have you been?” you know that you shouldn’t be caught off guard by his question. You were friends for hundreds of years before you were mates. “I’ve.. been…good.” if he noticed you lack of a better word, which he did, he didn’t mention it. “How about you, how have you been?” you so desperately wanted to tack on “How have you and Elain been?” on the end but you refrained. Another argument with Azirel was the last thing you wanted to do again.  “I’ve been good.” again quietness fell upon the two of you as you nodded in understanding to Azirels answer. 

When it became obvious that Azirel wasn’t going to say anything you did. “So what did you need to talk to me about?” this seemed to knock Azirel out of whatever trance he was in. You examine Azirel as he takes a deep breath in an attempt to still himself for whatever he was about to say because clearly it was making him nervous. “There is a never ending list of things that I need to apologize for and trust me I will but for now let me start with this. I ended everything with Elain. I made it very clear what we did will only ever be a mistake and nothing more than that. Not only does she have a mate, which in retrospect I should have accepted at face value and not go forward with a relationship with her and I know that not everyone wants to be with their mate and chose to find another partner that isn’t their mate, but Lucien is not a random person, he is a friend of not only Freye but of the night court and I should have respected him and unfortunately for him, his very unwilling mate.” Azirel took a breath giving you a chance to respond but when you didn’t he continued on. There was no way he was going to mess this up now even with your unflinching gaze upon his and lack of verbal response to his apology. It may make him want to empty the lunch he had earlier into whichever bush was closest but he would endure it to make things right with you.

 “I am ashamed to admit this but it took me longer than I would have liked to finally understand what you were saying all those months ago. And I sincerely mean it when I say I am so extremely sorry for the pain I have caused you. I hope you know that it was never my intention to hurt you. I was absolutely blind to the love you had for me even if it was right in front of my face literally for hundreds of years and I now understand what you mean by being my second choice. First it was Morrigan, then it was you. After Morrigan it was Elain and then it was you. You were never first on the list and you are absolutely right when you said if it wasn’t for the bond I would have never picked you. There are so many excuses I could give you as to why it was never you but truthfully none of them would ever be close to good enough. I was too busy looking for the person and love I thought I wanted without ever stopping to realize the person and love I needed was right in front of me this whole time, and for that I am sorry.” Again you simply looked at Azriel without saying anything so he continued on even though he was sure his heart would give out at any second from how hard it was beating. 

“I am going to be honest. If it wasn’t for the bond then no I probably wouldn’t have picked you over Elain. I would like to think that one day I would have come to my senses and realized it was you that I wanted and not her but I can’t say that for certain. But I have thanked the mother everyday since the bond snapped into place that you are my mate. I’ve have wanted nothing more than to find my mate and I finally have. I know that I have to earn your trust and prove to you for the rest of eternity, just how much I am grateful that you are my mate, but it is something I am willing to do if it means I get a chance to try again with you. But…” 

You may be a different person then what you were two years ago when you left the night court but deep down Azriel is still your friend, he is still someone you would never want to hurt no matter how much he hurt you. So to see the tears welling in his eyes hurt your heart. 

“But if this is not something that you want then I will accept your choice, no matter how much it hurts. I will respect that choice. I won’t try to change your mind. I won’t beg you to change your mind, no matter how much I want to. If this mating bond isn’t what you want then just know that I will always be here ready to give us a try. No matter how much time has passed, whether it's one hundred years or a thousand I will be here waiting with open arms just for you. There will never be another person. There is only you. Since the moment I knew we were mates it has only ever been you.” 

For the first time since that fateful day you allowed Azriel feel your emotions through the mating bond and he did the same. Remorse, longing, heartbreak, sadness any and every emotion was overwhelming the both of you. It brought tears to your eyes just like it had pushed the tears in Azirels eyes over the dam of his lashes. “Come here” you beckoned while trying to fan the tears away. Azriel didn’t need to be told twice and before he knew it you had wrapped him in your arms and placed your head in the crook of his neck. And Azriel knew there was never going to be a more perfect feeling than you in his arms. Azriel wrapped you in his arms just like you had done with him mere moments before. For a long while there was no sound besides the random sniffle and rouge sob that would escape from each other's body. “I am so sorry.” He mumbled while pressing a kiss into the crown of your hair. Reluctantly  he pulled your body away from his and what he found broke his heart even more. Tear stained cheeks that were flushed from crying and red rimmed eyes looking back at him. In that moment Azriel swore to himself that he would never be the reason you cried again. 

Bending down to be eye level with you he wiped away your tears while taking in just how beautiful you were even after crying. For a long second you and Azriel just stared into each other's eyes before you finally looked away. 

“Oh mother, that really hurt my soul.” a breathy laugh fell from your face as you wiped away the tears that fell after Azriels hands returned to his side. “I can’t believe you said that to Elain. I’m sure she was pissed wasn’t she?” your mate shrugged while giving you a cheshire cat smile. He may not have said anything, for probably  not wanting to admit you were right about Elain not being as nice and innocent as she portrays, but his body language told you everything you needed to know. 

“I truly appreciate your apology and I am happy that you finally understand what I was trying to tell you all those months ago. You're smart so I knew you would have figured it out eventually.” Azriel laughed at your attempt of a joke. But then he watched as it was your turn to struggle for the right words and suddenly he was nervous all over again. “I don’t know how to say this or if there even is a right way to say this but Azriel please know that what I am about to say is not meant to hurt you in any way. It's actually the last thing I want to do.” It was as if Azriel had been pushed underwater because suddenly he couldn’t breathe and he knew you were going to walk away from him once again by the time everything was said and done.

“As much as I appreciate everything you said and trust me I do. It means more to me than you know. And I can tell how much work you put into understanding where I was coming from which again I truly appreciate it but I need to be honest with you. There are wounds that I am still healing from when I found out we are mates, and it has nothing to do with you. I promise it's just something that I need to work out on my own, and please don’t worry it’s getting better day by day. But there is also something I need to tell you.” Azriel watched as you wring your hands from nerves. “I am in a relationship with Kolos. And I’m sure you have questions but I am not ready to answer them and I hope you can respect that. I don’t know where my relationship with him is going to go but what I can say is that I am finally happy, Azriel. I am not pining after someone who doesn’t want me like I want them and it feels so good to be wanted for no other reason than simply being wanted. And I'm sorry that this information hurts you but I feel the need to be honest with you even though it hurts.” 

“I can’t say for certain that I do or don’t want the bond with you Azriel but for now I want to see what else life has to offer me. Completely on my own and not as a member of the night court or day court or whatever other titles have been given to me. I want to go live life unapologetically and maybe one day when everything is said and done I will be able to let go of the anger and hatred I have felt towards you for the past two years. I don’t want to hate you Azriel but there is nothing but sadness and anger and hate towards you and until those feelings are gone I can’t love you. So for now I am going to walk away, not from you but from this relationship because I am not ready. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for breaking yours. I can’t promise that I will ever come back but all I ask is that if I do, you welcome me with open arms and a forgiving heart.” 

If Azriel wasn’t heart broken at what you told him before then he sure was now. But he would never be mad at you for doing whatever was best for you even if it meant not being with him. For the second time in his life because of you he was speechless. He knew you were waiting for him to say anything but he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried, there were no words. Or maybe not enough words in the human language to describe what he was feeling either way he wasn’t sure. 

With your mates lack of words you took it as your cue to leave. You placed a kiss upon his cheek and held his hand before slowly backing away while you took in your mate for one last time for mother knows how long. Reluctantly you gave his hand a tight squeeze before letting go “I’m sorry.” 

Unable to say anything, Azriel watched your retreating figure go as you followed the path he led you down to get to the cloister, once around the corner he fell to his knees and allowed himself to mourn for the first time in years since learning of your mating bond. Just around the corner you listen to Azriel cry in heartbreak while you felt all of his emotion and once again felt your own heartbreak and for the first time in your life you wondered if you had made the right choice. 

taglist: @j-pendragonx , @piceous21 , @harrystylesfan2686 , @kemillyfreitas , @naturakaashi ,@kalulakunundrum , @thelov3lybookworm , @marina468 , @feyres-fireheart , @thalia-as-blog, @blurredlamplight , @wallacewillow0773638 , @inkedaztec , @nastynesta , @f4iry-bell , @amysangel , @saltedcoffeescotch , @pricklepearbloom , @luvmoo , @planetwaynez

[luvrodite]

call me your sugar (you love you some) | gn!reader, unsolicited/unwanted flirting, stranger to fake boyfriend kyle, he's opportunistic and a bit sly about it <3

kyle's waiting for his breakfast sandwich to be heated up when he watches the guy who's been eyeing the pretty thing in the corner finally muster up the courage to slide into the seat across from them. he can't blame the man. he's been sneaking looks at you, too, admiring the line of your throat and the book that's stolen all your attention – enough that it doesn't alert you to the approaching stranger until it's too late.

you startle when the man pulls out a chair and kyle bites his cheek at the surprise that blooms across your face, your brows pinching in polite confusion. you stare at him, bemused, eyes wide behind large, circle frames.

the bloke introduces himself with a smarmy, albeit shaky grin. kyle nearly snorts when he reaches out to snag the book from your fingertips. your lips part in poorly concealed astonishment, eyes narrowing in muted frustration when the pages close with a snap, your place unmarked and subsequently lost as the man continues to make a poor impression.

it becomes increasingly difficult not to laugh when he overhears the murmurings of your conversation over the thrum of the cafe, a pickup line delivered awkwardly that doesn't quite manage to cover up its condescension. your expression is a cross between concerned, as though you're considering asking if he's well, and distinctly uncomfortable, like a cornered animal.

he'd like that look much better if it weren't at the hands of an overconfident twat who wouldn't know what to do with you. him, though – kyle's a practiced hand in dealing with sweet, shy things liable to spook at the slightest sound.

your suitor is amping up to ask for your number when he kicks off the empty table he's been leaning against and slides into the chair next to yours.

"baby," he says, by way of announcing himself, relishing in the way your eyes widen further, embarrassment in the corners of your mouth at the attention, "they were out of the pastries you liked so i got you a muffin. they're just heating it up now – oh. who's your friend?"

the man in question looks between the both of you, colouring when you lean slightly into kyle, a shaky hand coming up to rest against his arm.

"oh! um – thank you, you're so sweet. he was just telling me how he –" you pause, uncertainly, as though unsure how to explain. discomfort wears itself openly on your face, slipping into the pretence with little grace, as though the dishonesty makes your skin itch. that was fine. he'd borne worse, for much less. he'd carry that for you, too, in time. "didn't like my book?"

"oh." he laughs politely. it's obvious to everyone at the table that this is at Bumbling and Awkward's expense.

"boyfriend?" the man asks, letting go of your book and kyle smiles, reaching out over the table to offer his hand.

"nice to meet you, mate," he says, all teeth. it's unnecessary to kick a dog while he's down. kyle already knows he's going to back off by the way he wets his lips nervously, but he squeezes his hand anyway, unforgiving, smiling all the while.

the interloper takes his leave with a muttered excuse within the next minute. you watch him go, lips turned down in a displeased pout before turning to your saviour. kyle, with great reluctance, draws away and lets your hand fall from his arm.

"he looked like he was bothering you," he explains, affecting a bashful grin. "sorry if i scared you."

you shake your head fervently, leaning in conspiratorially to whisper, sneaking a furtive look as though he might make a reappearance over kyle's shoulder. "he just sat down and started talking, i didn't really know what to do. thank you...?"

his eyes widen and he laughs, offering his name. "some fake boyfriend i am, where are my manners? kyle."

you smile shyly at him, doe eyed and honey sweet. "thank you, kyle."

kyle knows a thing or two about pretty little lambs, but he's caught in your snare for a moment, heat rushing to his face before he clears his throat.

"just doing what any decent man would," he coughs, and changes the subject. "did he really tell you he didn't like your book?"

you grin, wide and a little incredulous. the warmth of the shared joke keeps the december chill at bay, the frosted marrow in his bones softening.

"he did," you laugh and the sound spears straight through him.

"can't blame him, though," he muses thoughtfully and you tilt your head inquisitively, brows arched in silent question. "pretty thing like you, i would've minced my words trying to impress you, too."

like ink in water, he watches you register the words in a slow diffusion, stunned into silence. he'd been right, that he'd like it much better to be the one flustering you.

the sound of his name interrupts the moment and you follow the sound with him to where one of the cafe staff holds a paper bag.

"back in a tick," he tells you with a wink and you tip your head forward in a dazed nod. something in him preens when you follow his movement as he stands, leaning in as if to give chase before catching yourself, quiet embarrassment evident in the flick of your lashes downwards.

"thanks," he tells the barista, and then turns back to them with a stunning grin. "actually, would i be able to get a muffin to go with that too?"

gaz my beloved sneaky who refuses to leave my mind...a tribute for the most beautiful man alive in hopes he'll stay off the brain long enough for me to focus on finals. anyway...first kyle piece kinda nervous