#i am so normal and okay after this episode (lying)

[scoobydoodean]

I hate how long the whole Amy thing is drawn out because I hate her ass. But Sam and Dean making up at the end of the whole thing is actually shockingly wholesome. I may hate Amy, but I do support Sam's right to be upset that Dean went behind his back and lied about it. And so does Dean, because lying to Sam about Amy is something Dean's been feeling terrible about for weeks.

When Sam finds out, he says he can't be around Dean. Dean gives Sam space without protest. For a week and a half, they don't speak. It's possible Dean's tried to call, but we see that Sam hasn't left him any messages (and Dean's been checking). Sam and Dean happen to reunite in "The Mentalist" because they just so happen to pursue the same case (because again. As I am always saying. #sam the hunter). Sam is not sure about working together when he first sees Dean, because he's still pissed, but he's also hiding a smile at Dean's antics almost immediately behind his cold exterior. Dean is definitely laying it on thick with the banter and the jokes (as Leviathan!Dean said last episode: Dean thinks he's a comedian) and no one has been there to laugh or glare disapprovingly at his jokes for the last week and a half (as pointedly illustrated when Dean investigates the crime scene alone at the beginning of the episode and tells a joke to an empty room). Dean jumps right into his thoughts on the case quickly, which Sam probably appreciates as he's been pouring over a bunch of lore and case details alone, and he agrees to work together with only a token protest about still being mad at Dean. Big "you're on thin ice" vibes.

But their squabble is so JUICY. First of all, it happens right after a psychic pulls Dean aside to give him a message from Ellen of all people:

I’m sorry, I don't normally do this during business hours, but do you know an Eleanor... or an Ellen? She seems quite concerned about you. She wants to tell you – pardon me – if you don't tell someone how bad it really is, she'll kick your ass from beyond. You have to trust someone again eventually.

And damn—it's a little messy, but Dean goes outside and he starts to communicate.

DEAN: No, we agreed to work the case. We didn't agree for you to be a dick the whole time.

Honestly? I didn't think Sam was being that big of a dick—he was jumping the gun on a few things, including burning the bones (and they end up burning the wrong ones and someone else dies).

SAM: What? DEAN: You're pissed, okay? And you've got a right.

I love this, because Dean's anger is rarely treated as justified no matter what the cause, but Dean's not going to deny someone the right to be mad at him when he's hurt them.

SAM: Yeah, damn straight. DEAN: But enough's enough. SAM: Says who? Look, I'll work this damn case, but you lied to me, and you killed my friend. SAM turns and walks away.

You think Dean's done? Ohhhh buddy he hasn't even gotten started.

DEAN walks after him. DEAN: No, I put down a monster who killed four people, and if you didn't know her, you'd have done the same thing.

Oh SNAP! GET HER ASS!!! SHE FUCKING KILLED PEOPLE SHE THOUGHT WERE BENEATH HER ON THE SOCIAL LADDER AND JUSTIFIED IT WITH HER GODDAMN MORTGAGE!!

SAM: I did know her, Dean.

Amy is special because Sam knew her, so she deserved special treatment... or did she?

DEAN: Yeah, which is why you couldn't do it. SAM stops. DEAN: Look, I get it. There are certain people in this world, no matter how dangerous they are, you just can't.

I wonder who Dean could be thinking of 🤔 Perhaps the angel he refused to believe would ever betray them until it was unwittingly revealed by Cas himself? The angel who broke Sam's brain who Dean still couldn't stop grieving and hoping would come back to himself after? Whose trench coat he's carrying around in his trunk? Then again... Dean did move to kill godstiel when it came right down to it. There is a connection between Dean's feelings about Amy and his feelings about Cas's betrayal though.

SAM: Don't pull that card! That's bull. Look, if I've learned one thing, it's that if something feels wrong, it probably is! DEAN: Usually, yeah. But killing Amy was not wrong. You couldn't do it, so I did. That's what family does – the dirty work. And I woulda told you, eventually, once I knew that this whole "waving a gun at Satan" thing was a one-time show. I think it's reasonable to want to know that you're off the friggin' high dive, Sam. You almost got us both killed, so you can be pissed all you want, but quit being a bitch.

God DAMN! That bit about family is going to come back and bite Dean in the ass in a HUGE way, but Dean's sorting through his feelings about what went down with Amy, and he's taking a stand: 1) Lying to Sam/going behind his back was wrong 2) Sam has every right to be mad at him, but if they're going to work, they need to work professionally and efficiently—Sam can't just bulldoze. 3) Killing Amy in of itself wasn't wrong. She murdered four people with no remorse, and the kind of favoritism Sam showed her was dangerous.

Dean's also snapping back on the trust aspect of this that's very much in play, because Amy herself isn't necessarily even what Sam's most mad about. He's mad that Dean didn't trust him and went behind his back. This is a little eye-brow-raising anyway because Sam very much went behind Dean's back first, but add that Sam left Dean alone and defenseless while he laid up with a broken leg while creatures from another dimension were hunting them, and refused to answer the phone with the context that he'd been actively hallucinating so badly that he almost murdered Dean and killed himself. It doesn't justify Dean lying to him, but it puts Dean's stress and his decision to lie in context, together with Dean's rejection of Sam showing Amy favoritism.

I said this is Dean communicating, and he really is communicating a lot of new information about his state of mind when you look at this from Sam's POV. Sam has been worried about Dean for weeks, and Dean's been refusing to talk about anything that might be bothering him. Now Dean's unleashed a lot of pent up thoughts and perspective, while still validating Sam's right to be angry that Dean lied. And it actually softens Sam's perspetive toward Dean, along with the case they're working about two sisters that softens Sam further, along with the obvious enjoyment he gets out of working with his brother. So when Dean goes out to his car at the end of the episode:

DEAN: Hey. SAM: Hey. DEAN: That's your stuff. SAM: Yeah. Yeah. I figured we'd take one car. DEAN: Works for me. You still want to break my face? SAM smiles. SAM: No. Uh, not at this moment.

Sam's actually satisfied enough with Dean communicating, even if it happens within an argument where they have a moral disagreement! In fact, Sam is able to see exactly where Dean is coming from morally and meet him in a middle ground where they at least agree that it isn't actually as black and white as Sam wanted it to be.

SAM: Look, you know what? Um... You were right. About Amy. If she was... just any monster, I'm not sure I could have let her walk away. I don't know. I mean, I'll never know. DEAN: So, what are you saying? SAM: What I'm saying is... I get why you did it. You were just trying to make sure no one else got hurt.

The thing that's still eating at Sam, is that Dean hasn't been fully honest with him yet about what exactly is going on with him. Sam has observed Dean's terrible mental state the last several weeks with increasing concern, and he's already focused in on this idea of "If it feels wrong, it probably is wrong".

SAM: But here's the thing. You can't just look me in the face and tell me you're fine. I mean, you're not sleeping, you drink for the record— DEAN: Oh, here we go. SAM: Look, whatever. Last one to preach, I know. But... Just be honest with me. How are those the actions of someone who knows they did the right thing?

If Dean's mental state is a result of guilt over what he did to Amy, that means he isn't being honest with Sam or himself about where he went wrong. If Dean only feels guilty about lying to Sam, that's fair enough—Sam gets his moral point of view as far as Amy. But if Dean actually thinks killing her was wrong, he needs to own up to it. The other possibility is that something else is eating at Dean that he hasn't fully communicated, and Sam wants to know what that is. They do dangerous work, and Sam needs to know what Dean's mental state actually is just as much as Dean needs Sam to be open about his own.

DEAN: You want me to be honest? SAM: Yeah. DEAN: I went with my gut. And that felt right. I didn't trust her, Sam. Of course, ever since Cas, I'm having a hard time trusting anybody. And as far as how I been acting... I don't know. Maybe it's 'cause I don't like lying to you. You know, it doesn't feel right. So, yeah, you got me there. I been climbing the walls.

Dean's further communication here does two things for Sam: 1) It's going to really relieve the part of Sam that's upset about the idea that Dean just didn't trust him, because Dean says lying to Sam felt so wrong that twisted him up in knots for weeks. That's far off from Sam's concerns of having an older brother who simply doesn't believe he can do the job or make the right decisions. Dean's guilt is felt so deeply because he sees Sam as a trusted partner deserving of his honesty, and believed it was wrong and unfair to lie to him. 2) Dean further communicates why he is struggling emotionally which leaves Sam feeling like he's in a better position to understand him and support him. It also communicates further trust and cultivates a mutually supportive relationship where Sam doesn't just feel like the crazy guy Dean is going to have a heart attack thinking about supporting, but feels like he can support Dean too.

And then right after that they're both joking around. Crazy what communication over your brother murdering your murderous ex who kills drug addicts and feeds their brains to her child can do.

[writerjayne]

"C'mon Scott, it's Halloween!!" 

"Every day is Halloween for us Stiles," Scott sighed, picking at the food on his lunch tray.

"Not every day!" Stiles tried to protest, but when Scott gave him a look, Stiles relented slightly. "Okay, sure, every day can feel like Halloween when you're a teenage werewolf, but hear me out!!"

"Here you out about what?" Lydia asked as she and Allison joined the table, setting down their trays. 

"Scott's saying he doesn't want to do anything for Halloween!" Stiles whined slightly. 

It was childish, he knew, to whine about this, but Halloween had always been Stiles' favorite. The decorations, the atmosphere of fall and fun, dressing up, and getting to be something else other than yourself. Not to mention the candy! 

"What did you have in mind?" Erica asked as she, Isaac, and Boyd sat across from them. 

"It's not like I want to go trick or treating or anything," Stiles explained. "I just thought it would be fun to spend it together and celebrate. Though handing out candy would be fun." 

"We could watch scary movies," Boyd suggested. 

"Or we would walk some of the more decorated neighborhoods to look at the lights," Isaac added. 

"Normal stuff!" Stiles pointed out as he looked pleadingly at Scott. 

"Where would we even meet?" Scott countered. 

"Any of our houses would work," Lydia said practically. "Except maybe Allison's." 

"That's a good point," Allison agreed. "Dad's come a long way accepting my friendship with the pack, but I don't think he would be thrilled if I brought the pack home."

"We could ask Derek if we can use the loft!" Erica offered, enthusiasm warming her voice. 

"Costumes?" Stiles asked. 

"Optional?" Lydia offered the compromise, and Stiles nodded. 

"I'm good with that!" Stiles couldn't help his growing smile. "And if we don't want to commit to a full movie, we could look up Halloween episodes of TV shows we like!" 

"Oh, I like that idea!" Allison looked at Scott, hopefully. "What do you think?" 

Scott sighed again, but before he could answer, Stiles chimed in one more time:

"C'mon Scott, it'll be like when we were little!" 

That sentiment, along with Stiles' pleading eyes, was enough for Scott to give in with a reluctant smile. 

"I'm clearly outvoted. Who's house should we use?" 

"I think it depends on how late we'll be staying," Lydia said, ever the practical hostess. "Do we want to spend the night?" 

The group debated for a while who's house to use, and the pros and cons of the different locations weighed and considered. The Loft vs the Lake House. The Lake House vs Scotts House. Scott's house vs Stiles' House and, of course, Stiles' house vs the Loft. Full circle a few times before it was eventually decided that Stiles' house was the best choice, not only because his street got a decent amount of foot traffic and trick-or-treaters but because Stiles had the most movie options. 

******

"I still think every day is Halloween for us," Scott said by way of greeting when he arrived at Stiles' house after school. 

"And today, it's for everyone!" Stiles grinned, tossing a pack of Reese's pieces to the grumpy werewolf. "So you'll just have to deal with it. Nice costume, by the way." 

"It was easy enough," Scott shrugged. He was wearing a set of scrubs and had a stethoscope around his neck. "I didn't even have to steal anything." 

"I resent that comment," Stiles laughed. "I didn't steal anything either!" 

"So you just happened to have a leather jacket lying around?" 

"For your information, I borrowed it from Isaac," Stiles huffed. 

"He's lucky it fit," Isaac teased as the two entered the living room. The were' was lounging on the couch in a white T-shirt and jeans. The T-shirt had been written on with a Sharpie to say, 'This is my costume.' "He's kind of short," Isaac said. 

"Am I short or are you just freakishly tall?" Stiles shot back. 

"What are you supposed to be anyway?" Scott asked, plopping on the couch next to Isaac. 

"Isn't it obvious?" Stiles' grin had a hint of mischief now. "Here I'll give you a hint!" 

Stiles crossed to the furthest side of the room and struck a pose. His hands in his pockets, feet apart, and something close to a glare on his face as he stared at Scott. Scott stared back for a minute, thinking before he burst into laughter. 

"Are you Derek?" He managed to gasp between peals of laughter. 

Stiles dropped the glare, his face lighting up at Scott's delight. 

"Yeah! He'll probably kill me for it, but it's still a good costume!" 

"I know I said he didn't steal it, but if Derek asks, he absolutely did," Isaac grinned too, but before he could say more, he cocked his head towards the door.

"They back with the pizza?" Stiles asked, and Isaac nodded. 

Scott could hear them all now, too. 

"Perfect timing. It sounds like Lydia is here, too. Allison's with her," Isaac reported what he could hear to Stiles' human ears. 

"Awesome! Scott, grab plates for us?" Stiles asked. 

"Sure," Scott stood, heading to the kitchen. 

When he came back, everyone was settling around the living room. 

Erica was in all black and had a pair of cat ears. Boyd didn't seem to be wearing a costume but had brought several bags of candy (both to share and to pass out). Allison had braided her hair over one shoulder and brought her bow for a simple Katniss costume. Lydia was in a simple green dress with fake ivy twined around her head in a crown. 

"Poison Ivy?" Scott asked as he handed out the plates. 

Lydia nodded. 

"It had been my plan for handing out candy at home so I figured I would still wear it!" 

"Ivy and Catwoman," Stiles joked "wish we had known there was a theme." 

"Don't worry, Stiles, you're still my Batman," Erica winked. 

The group fell into easy banter, occasionally interrupted by trick-or-treaters as it got later. Eventually, they put on the Addams Family Values just for the atmosphere, as they mostly kept talking and handing out candy. It wasn't far into the movie when Derek showed up. 

"Hey Sourwolf!" Stiles called from the couch when Derek followed Erica inside. 

"Erica said you were all hanging out for Halloween," Derek looked awkward as he explained. "She said I should come." 

"Absolutely!" Stiles grinned. "Come sit. I think we have pizza still. Where did the box go?" 

Derek settled next to Stiles and was handed a plate with a couple of slices of pizza on it. He took a bite and subconsciously scanned the room as he ate, noting everyone's costumes or lack of costumes. He was confused by Stiles', though. The jacket was clearly Isaac's, and for the life of him, Derek couldn't figure out what Stiles was supposed to be. 

It was when Stiles was coming back from his turn to hand out candy that Derek finally asked.

"So what are you supposed to be?" 

Derek was confused by the giggles that broke out at his question. 

"Haven't figured it out yet, big guy?" Stiles smirked. "I'm you!" Stiles struck his pose and aimed his glare at Derek. "Back when you were a creeperwolf who would stare instead of actually communicating!" 

Everyone was laughing again, and Derek couldn't help a small smile. 

"Terrible," was all he said, and Stiles shrugged, his usual smile coming back. 

"At least I have a costume!" 

General protest broke out at this, and Stiles had to dodge thrown candy as he made his way back to his seat next to Derek. If Stiles took advantage of that fact to tuck himself closer to Derek (to use him as a shield), no one needed to know. 

And if, a couple of hours later, Derek casually put an arm around Stiles, who could blame him? He just needed to stretch; it was cramped on the couch. 

And if they were still like that, leaning into each other, fast asleep, surrounded by the pack (also asleep through the room, haphazardly covered with blankets and using each other as pillows), when the sheriff came home the next morning, who would be surprised? Certainly not Noah Stilinski, who snapped a few photos before grabbing some candy from the bowl on the table and heading upstairs. He could let them sleep. Questions could wait. 

[sillygoosealert]

So guys don’t be like me please but basically I been neglecting my personal needs and now I cant get out of bed. I feel terrible and then I thought of something (insane right?) what if Bi Han find out reader hasnt been taking care of themselves so he takes a day off to care for them

92jinnies, please pull through for me kitten 💕

To another episode, another day blurs

Bi-han comfort, mental episode

It's been 3 days since you've last brushed your teeth

12 hours since you last up to use the bathroom

And however long since you've last ate

Maybe you won't do anything

Maybe you won't be anyone

Your throat is dry and you can hear yourself blink

The room is dark and smells of cold air

Bi-Han hasn't seen you ever since you crawled into your room and never came out

Well, no one has seen you, but he's worried

He originally thought you ran away or went off

But when looking into your old room, he saw you there

You were just lying there, listening to your breath

He doesn't know what set you off this time, you were fine

But you get like this, where nothing works out and you can't stand to be alive

So you pretend you're not

You don't bathe, you don't eat, you have trouble sleeping at night too

All you can do is exist, but that too seems too much for you

Nothing is easy, but is even harder when you aren't normal

Maybe you look fine, but something is wrong with you

But he knew that when he met you, he knew he had to help you when you couldn't help yourself

So he walks into the room and goes by your side

You motion for him to get into the bed but he just picks you up instead

Carrying you to your shared room

Then he gets on the bed, with you on his lap

He's just cradling you to take in how bad it is this time

He pinches your cheek to see if you will do anything

You hum into him, you can't say anything right now

He starts to undress you, tossing your clothes near the bed

Then you both go into the bathroom, and you get placed into the bath while he runs the water

You put your knees up to your chest and lean your head on them

‘You are tired?’

You hum to that as you yawn

Going back to bed sounds better than anything right now

He scrubs you raw, washing your hair to the best of his abilities

Your hair is tangled and possibly matted, but it could be worse

He rinses you off before putting you on the floor

He dries you off and brings you to the bed

Dressing you in his boxers and shirt

‘Stay put. I am getting you fruit and milk to help give you good nutrients.’

‘Fruit and milk?’

You're giggling, you don't know why

He comes over and scratches your stomach

‘Did you want something else?’

‘I’m not hungry right now, maybe we can eat later..’

‘Oh. When did you last eat?’

‘I don't remember’

You're curled up in the blankets, close to going to bed

‘Then I will get you milk and fruit. Please try to eat when I come back with it.’

‘Okay..’

After he comes back he makes you brush your teeth before eating, then he helps you eat

You're shaking a lot and you don't even realize it

And you have trouble holding the bowl with fruit or drinking the milk

So he holds your chin and slowly tips the milk so you can drink

Then he feeds you pieces of fruit at your own pace

After he brushes out your hair, humming into your neck when he's finished

Picking you up, he rolls around with you in his arms on the bed

Then he lays ontop of you with his head in your neck

‘I am..here for you, even if no one else is’

‘Thank you’

You're crying now

And he lets you

He lets you cry however much you need to

And he doesn't leave you

He doesn't even think about it

It's you and him

If you have 100 supporters he is one of them

If you only have 1 that is him

If everyone was against you he would stay right by your side

You fall asleep in each other's arms

Nothing is wrong

You are at peace

You are fine with being someone

You are okay with living

Then you start a family but while pregnant you are MURDERED by Kuai Liang (you know he would, he was going to kill Frost but Harumi stopped him) and it is now Bi-Han against the world. He's alone again 🎀

[xecutivecucumber]

Executive Cucumber's thoughts on the Bad Batch: Season 3x06 and 3x07 (I'm pretty sure I'm formatting this differently every time. Oh well)

Okay, there's a subject I'm going to have to postpone until the end of the post because I want all my thoughts on that to be together: the main operative clone. And the rest might be slightly out of order. I'm also doing this before I see anyone else's thoughts, just so we get the pure version.

Let's go!

I honestly thought that Senator Singh and Riyo were dead meat. But no, they're fine because REX IS COOLER THAN ANYONE. Ugh that man. Freaking throwing the grenade back at him.

Clones are beautiful. That is all.

THAT'S THAT ONE PLACE FROM THE OG CLONE WARS MOVIE!!! TETH!!!

Howzer I love you but if you touch Crosshair we will be having words.

I am actually really proud of Crosshair and his restraint this episode. He could have been really cutting to Howzer.

OMEGA WITH THE TOOTHPIIIIICKS and Hunter is jealouuuus

EDIT: ECHO AND THE CROSSBOW HE'S SO SWEET

WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU CROSSHAIR

It's really nice to see normal clones being normal again. (Too bad it doesn't last)

There's something up with Omega. I'm not going to lie, I think that she and Rex are going to plan to get her captured in order to track her back to Tantiss.

HOWZER STOP DISTRUSTING CROSSHAIR THIS MOMENT

I appreciate that Hunter doesn't seem to distrust Crosshair during this point.

...they really shouldn't have brought that operative back.

Rex is considering stealing Omega, I swear. I love that he gets down to her level.

WOOOOOOOOOOOLFFE (Plo would be so disappointed in you)

It's...odd to see these normal troopers with him.

It's also strange that he cannot comprehend that the clones could be traitors at first.

STOP DYING YOU BEAUTIFUL REGS

'She only bites half the time' I'm pretty sure Omega is lying here but I don't care.

CROSSHAIR IS SUCH A WORRIED DAD HOLY CRAP. 'Oh, I'm much worse' I LOVE YOU

And this just gives such a little insight into how the Batch was when they were together. I have a feeling that Crosshair was a fusser and a nagger.

And I love how Howzer's natural and correct conclusion is: 'no one evil could love that child.' (Unless you're Nala Se)

Hey, actual candor from Crosshair. I keep saying this is who he always was under it all, but I do think he's healed somewhat, at least towards regs. The healing power of Omega.

'Too bad' I LOVE THIS MAN

STOP DYING REGS

Rex talking down Wolffe reminded me so much of him trying to talk Jesse down. So ow.

Okay, what ROCK have they shoved Wolffe under for the last YEAR??? YES THE EMPIRE WOULD GET RID OF THE CLONES YOU DOG BRAINED IDIOT

(Plo would be proud that you let them go)

...they just killed all of Rex's clones, except Howzer and Gregor. And I have a bad feeling about Howzer. STOP TAKING THINGS FROM REX HASN'T HE LOST ENOUGH???

Okay here we are, at the big topic. Hold onto your pants.

That operative clone. Is. Tech. Because if he is not, they are purposefully using the narrative to deceive us.

I might miss a few things, but that's because I'm up past my bedtime and I've been up too late the last few days.

1. The falling and water parallels. This clone falls a LOT during this episode and dives into a lot of water. He even falls into mist. This time it's to kill and capture his siblings instead of save them.

2. The injury. This clone is hobbling around a lot after his injury, which was immediately reminiscent of Tech's broken leg at the beginning of season 2. Both of them are forcing themselves past their limit to achieve a mission. Specifically with injured legs.

3. General attitude and demeanor. In combination with the stealth and injury, this clone has a more hunched posture. His speech patterns are more formal, though we haven't really heard a lot of other clone operatives talk with their helmets on. But he's also apparently allergic to orders. I first thought that he'd be out of the chain of command, but they would have told Wolffe that he wasn't in charge of the operative if that were the case. Or the operative would have straight up told him 'I don't take orders from you' instead of staring awkwardly at him. Instead he runs off and does his own thing. While injured. Not to mention the buttons on his gauntlet. The other clone operatives don't have those.

4. The cybernetic legs. Now we don't know for sure if Tech would have cybernetic legs, but it seems likely for a severely injured trooper. And when Crosshair is looking at the heat signature, you can see that his legs are blue instead of yellow or red. No heat. Not organic.

5. What he says to Crosshair. 'You could have been one of us.' 'You chose the wrong side.' Yes, he's talking about Crosshair resisting the re-education. But flip it on its head real quick. 'You could have been one of us. One of the Bad Batch.' 'You chose the wrong side. The Empire.' Those lines very easily have double meanings.

6. An interesting one is when he starts moving rocks after the explosion. Why would he do that? Why not immediately go find another way in? He's moving only the smaller rocks. There's a large one in the way that he couldn't move himself. And he doesn't get the rest of the troopers to come move it when they arrive. He almost seems confused.

Like he's somewhere else after an explosion, having to move rocks. Like in the Crossing.

I know that this hardly seem like iron clad evidence. But in the language of story telling, it's practically screaming in our faces.

And I'm so glad he's back. I missed him. He won't be himself for a while, but I legitimately believe we'll get one last fight with the Batch all together. Because brain washing is a heck of a lot easier to fix than being dead.

My sister is doing the good work and creating a tik token about it, and I'll probably share it here when she's finished.

(We're getting the episode 'Identity Crisis ON MY BIRTHDAY and so help me if that's about Tech)

Honestly I thought I'd be more excited, but I spent the entire two episodes forcing myself into not having expectations and also I might be in shock.

[silverskull]

Chenford and The Rookie S6

This is a post where I vent my frustrations with The Rookie season 6 and the Chenford breakup. I will take questions, but I do not guarantee an answer. Retain the fact that this is a TV show I am mad at, not someone/thing in your personal life.

This month/few weeks haven't been great for me to absorb what happened in the last episodes of the season. Some of the reasons are listed below before I start sounding off.

-Unrelated but irritating:

Working 3 jobs, only 1 is paid. 

Crunch time at all 3 jobs

Visiting family expecting all of my time (same crunch weeks as work)

-Related and disappointing:

Cancelled cameo

Cancelled convention appearance

Sloppy SM and PR, frequently missing Melissa

Short S6

Late S7 renewal announcement

Delayed start S6 and extra-long hiatus before S7

Specifics:

Okay, so in 606 Tim lied - so did Lucy and Lopez. Why was there no IA investigation for them or concern about their honour? We were led to believe in 214 (Casualties) that everyone involved in an off-book mission could be compromised. So now why is the fact that Tim is lying more important than either woman compromising their career? Why is there no acknowledgement of THEIR discomfort? Lucy was already on shaky ground after he let her take the blame for SOME RANDOM SCENE COPS??!!? at the clown murder before her detective exam, but now I’m supposed to be worried about Sergeant Spotless-Record Bradford and his honour?! He could have just let that Ray guy go, or even fucking TOLD SOMEONE. He'd still have saved the Venezuelan, but it would have been above board.

And then, apparently the breakup happened over the aforementioned lying and Tim and Mark’s coverup of Ray’s misdeeds. We got no further clarification on this. And I really tried. I read deeply, DEEPLY into Tim’s reasoning (there are tumblr posts and twitter threads). I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I earnestly plead with people on twitter to give it time. But instead of that patience paying off, all we got was Tim trying to act normal, Lucy justifiably pissed, and generalised "things" opened up in (blackmail) therapy?

(Here’s where people have been coming at me too: I don’t really care about the therapy storyline. Honestly, if it’s not done well, I don’t know why we bother. I'm not out to get therapy, I just don't think it's working here. Just mention it and carry on like with Lucy after DOD, or show some scenes from the damn sessions. But turning the therapist into a blackmailer for Monica, who was selling to The Swiss?!?? or an Argentinian??? (I don’t even know and I do not care, and I will not listen if you try to explain, lalalalalala) How did we even end up here???)

And it PISSES ME OFF that we spent years building up the momentum for there to be turbulence in their relationship over Lucy going UC. We were ready. We were waiting. The traps were laid and baited. And they just went PSYCH! IT’S TIM’S ARMY DAYS THAT ARE THE PROBLEM, EVEN THOUGH WE LEAD YOU TO BELIEVE HE WAS WELL ADJUSTED BACK IN 214 WITH MITCH AND 311 WITH KATIE BARNES LOLOLOL

We have spent SO MUCH time on Tim's backstory. In fact, here's a list!

Isabel - wife -> ex-wife, UC drug addict, unfaithful

Tom Bradford - abusive father

Army - Let Mitch get his leg blown up; told Katie to let it go with a ladybird; unblemished record;

Cop Buddies - Wrigley -> lazy; Mack -> Addict;

Love Interests - Isabel, Rachel, Ashley

Family - Genny and Tyler (and some other nephew, and apparently a niece and a drunk uncle)

Here is what we know about Lucy:

Mother, Vanessa and father, Patrick, are psychologists and hard on Lucy

Mother had an affair with a patient (also named Patrick) who is Lucy's father, but - boo - he's dead. So is bff Jackson.

Aunt Amy and unseen Nana are nice.

Lucy's other love interests (206 ex, Emmet, Chris, TIMOTHY BRADFORD) have been assholes.

NOW WHOSE FECKIN BACKSTORY DO WE NEED TO SEE MORE OF???

(sorry to those of you who have heard all this from me before, I am literally typing my sporadic thoughts with you guys into longform)

Look, no doubt characters on this show need therapy, but if we’re just gonna make it a vehicle for some random side-characters to have an entire story arc, then WHY? And like, we were misled with the Bailan getting-pregnant storyline too, only to end back up where we started with fostering - because it’s only worth second place if your ovaries are geriatric. LIKE? SO. MANY. PROBLEMATICS.

It’s as if The Rookie plotters were given the outline to the exam questions… then tried to make the answers fit all the WRONG QUESTIONS (I may be speaking from experience). If the cards are laid out one way, don’t struggle to make a different answer fit. Just use what you’ve got, and use it wisely. Especially when it’s been working so well.

And another thing!!! Canon is not fiction - we all know that. We’ve all seen the ones who get carried away with fanon Chenford and ‘Lucy is vegan’-type imaginings that were never actually true. But saying if we don't like canon then we should just write or read fiction to deal with it is only serving to send people deeper into denial. There is a point where you are not crazy, and the writers did something stupid and you start understanding what ‘jumped the shark’ actually means.

Speaking of outdated TV lingo, I saw a really good tweet from Brian_Cronin :

TV showrunners accepting the "truism" that getting "will they/won't they?" characters together hurts the show, always citing Moonlighting, is because they like "rules" that remove their responsibility, as "Don't write the show poorly once they're together" puts the onus on them.

This goes for Chenford. No, Eric Winter. No, Alexi Hawley. We don’t need to see a breakup because it’s more like ‘reality’. Here’s a shocker: we come to watch a COP show, in this age of police brutality, global dictatorships, internationally ignored genocide, timelines full of dead babies and the constant looming threat of utter climate destruction to ESCAPE from reality. We are not watching a COP SHOW - A SHOW ABOUT ONE OF THE MOST VIOLENT, ABUSIVE POLICE FORCES IN THE WESTERN WORLD - for “reality”. Get your fucking head in the game. We supported you through pandemics and strikes, and you pull this season of SHIT on us.

I love all the characters, but I’m hooked for chenford. And I feel really badly treated.

If I was marking your exam, you’d get a failing grade.

“Started off well - linked UC storyline to previously-hinted relationship trauma. Dropped the plot entirely mid-way and brought in a host of unknowns. Tried to blame breakup on army issues previously marked as ‘resolved’, instead of UC drugs and unfaithful wife/abusive father? Reused names multiple times. Confusing and inconsistent. Fatally underused Chen character - inexplicably failing downwards, while Nolan character inexplicably promoted upwards. Use basic research next time."

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 4

HE SAVED HER AFTER THE CAR ACCIDENT I KNEW IT!

AND HE KNEW WHO SHE WAS WHEN THEY MET ON THE BRIDGE! Okay, that I did not see coming.

This is clearly going to be an excessive capslock episode I'm very sorry.

This whole scene hits different now that you know that he's been in love with her since he was in school, and that she's the reason he likes those sweets in the first place. I love this so much!

WAIT THAT'S JONGHO SINGING! OMG I know the song but I totally forgot it was from this drama. I am such a bad Atiny. Has this song played before and I just haven't noticed?

I am going to say that I'm going to be a bit annoyed if it turned out someone pushed him or something. It'd feel almost like saying 'we can't have a romantic lead who suffers from depression' or something like that. But I shall reserve judgement until we see how it plays out. I mean stuff keeps changing because of the time travel stuff anyway. Just a thought I had was all.

I understand the logic of trying to exactly recreate the situation that sent her back into the past last time but I'm not sure lying in a river in the middle of the night was part of the magic

Calling it now this dude killed him because Sunjae wanted to retire. I have absolutely no foundation for this theory beyond knowledge of drama tropes but that's what I think

I know that you're grieving for your best friend but why would you say something cryptic like this and then just hang up without explaining when she asks what you mean

Ah, the magic only works at midnight! That makes sense. As much as anything to do with magic makes sense. I still don't understand what caused her to come back to 2023 in the first place though. Is it because Sunjae told her he loves her even if she didn't hear it?

Oh no she remembers what happened while she was back in 2023 including rejecting Sunjae and hitting him with her bag. OH NO.

This poor boy though. The girl he likes has what seems like a total personality change, tells him to get lost, and then a week later she's back to the way she was again.

Oh, yeah, him. Love him calling her 'girlfriend' rather than her name just because Sunjae is standing right there

When you find out your 19 year old past self is totally cringe

He's handling the whole personality switch thing far better than Sunjae is

This is so funny I thought for sure she was going to be the one who inspired him to become a singer and instead she's doing whatever she can to make sure he doesn't become an idol to protect him.

Of course there's a bully. There's always a bully. He can be friends with the bitchy girl who hates Im Sol.

Oh, punch him!

Holy fuck she just headbutted him before Sunjae could even land a punch. I love her so much.

Ah, I see. She saved him from his bully and now he's going to save her from hers

Scrap that she saved herself because she's awesome

Oh that's so smart she yelled a bunch of stuff about the future so time froze and she could sneak past Sunjae's dad

I love that even though she knows Sunjae as a friend now she still goes into fangirl mode sometimes. It's so cute.

Really can't relate to what a heavy sleeper she is. This is, what, the second or third time she's been asleep while he's been there and hasn't woken up at all. I'd have been awake as soon as he opened the bedroom door.

God he's so adorable. Look at him comparing their hand sizes.

The only time he ever looks happy now that he can't swim is when he's with her. I'm fine. I'm definitely not crying.

So she gave him the advice that he gave her. Does that mean he only knew to say it to her because said it to him in the first place? My head hurts 😂

I mean they can. You just can't be friends with this particular girl because you're in love with her

This is honestly making all the cringe stuff I did as a teen seem totally sane and normal

Okay, what's with the sus taxi that was going to stop and then pulled away when the driver saw that Im Sol wasn't alone?

He's all wet again. And, hey, she's remembered that he was the one who saved her after her accident

[respectthepetty]

obsessed with the way you keep misspelling characters names in pit babe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i haven't laugh like that in years

Anon, I'm doing it because I'm mad as hell with these characters on behalf of Babe.

Normally, I can distract myself by reading the subtitles or coming up with Wild Ass Theories, but since I'm watching without subs and blocked the tag, I'm honed in on all these LIARS who just keep LYING to Barbie then not respecting his boundaries.

I'm Alan-levels of pissed off watching these men gaslight Babe.

I'm Pete-ready-to-murder enraged every second of these episodes.

So I'm calling these characters by their 'government' names so they know I mean business:

Babe - Barbie (affectionate), Barbara (pissed off)

Charlie - Charles

Way - Waymond

Jeff - Jeffrey

Pete - Peter

Kim - Kimberly

Winner - Winifred

North & Sonic - No names because they ain't loyal

Dean - Decanus (he is gonna really eff us over because he has yet to do anything in four episodes)

Only Alan and Kenta don't have 'government' names because 1) Alan is the ONLY one I fully trust and 2) Kenta is my secret weapon, and I feel he is going to turn this whole thing around, especially after getting smacked by Big Red like this.

I truly have no idea what the plot is besides racing, smacking, and everyone having a superpower apparently, but the comments on my posts tell me I'm headed in the right direction, so I feel valid hating Charles, Waymond, and Jeffery as much as I do.

I normally am okay with liars, but, once again, since I have nothing to focus on expect the visuals, the mere sight of Charles and Waymond raises my blood pressure, and from the trailer, I know Barbie punches Waymond,

so I'm hoping Charles gets the same treatment when all of Charles' lies catch up to him.

That damn liar, liar. Pants on fire.

THE LIES! THE LIES

don't even know what the lies are without subs but I am livid

[lutawolf]

My Dear Gangster Oppa Commentary Ep 4

If you haven't seen my other commentary, you can find it here.

This makes me sad because what was special for Tew was the fact that Guy wasn't afraid of him. But here he is, afraid. Which clearly is upsetting to Tew.

As soon as Guy opens his eyes, they are drawn to the gun wound scar. The face that Tew gives him then...

And Guy's concern, then confusion. So much emotion in one frame.

Now they are sitting and communicating. Tew tells Guy that he didn't tell him that he was scared that it would put Guy in danger. Which confuses me because not knowing, knowing, is there really a difference in danger level?

Tew starts to explain his past and his joy of playing video game. Then his home life. While not rich, he had a loving father. Who clearly raised him right because he is so well-mannered. Oh no! Cough with blood.  

Damn... I was really hoping he would kick their asses, and get home to his dad.

I mean, we knew it was coming, but the fact that he didn't get to say goodbye. Oh damn, that really explains the previous episode where he came to meet Guy to say goodbye before his trip.

Ohhhh, Tew looks scary now.

OH! Who called it?!?!

And then he is shot!!! What!?!? I was not expecting that. Nor was I expecting the next part. I was kind of expecting him to have been forced into killing. Interesting. I wonder if Wish John Lennon was one of these kids???

So while bad boy is a rebel with a cause, he still a rebel. Then he just lays down to die.

I think it's safe to say that home dude was not thinking that day.

I think Guy gets it, but it will be interesting to see if he accepts it. He at least isn't scared of Tew anymore. Butt he more Tew explains, the more clearly you can see he is an anti-hero. Won't go so far as to call him a villain butttttt. He is no hero. Yay!!! This is my favorite type of character!

I am not sure what to think of the mob boss. He is putting a lot of trust into a kid, but he also appears to be giving him the keys to revenge. He is an interesting character to say the least.

The rules seem simple enough. No lying and no betrayal.

"Once you touch a gun. There is no going back to a normal life"

Then, Tew gives a little smirk and says that he doesn't plan on going back to a normal life anyway.

And Guy is seeing this. I think it's interesting because for some reason Tew really expected that Guy would absolutely understand. He is pretty spot on because Guy does understand.

Really Guy... You are going to be butt hurt over the restaurant lie??? I mean, I actually get where Guy is coming from. I'm just thinking it's funny to pick that after hearing Tew's story.

It apparently was not what Tew was expecting Guy to be upset about either. His face says he is completely dumbfounded. Honestly, in my opinion, Guy is latching onto something to use so he can run scared. I don't think he is scared of Tew, but of his own feelings that are happening too fast. I could be completely off base, but that's what I see from how he is acting and reacting.

Boy up in his feels getting sloppy drunk. Other boy is being emo in his bed. What a pair.

Oh, no! Boss man is not okay with the fake restaurant.

Home dude is not right in the head, is he?

I'll say it again. Mob boss daddy is interesting. He cares about Tew, but he isn't a push over.

I'm suspicious... How is a regular dude off the street not scared when goons show up???

Again, not a push over.

Now back to emo boy with his bed and his fish. Damn it Guy! That was a shit move to do to your guild!!! And his first thoughts when there is a knock at the door is Tew. That should tell you something, Guy! You're running from your feelings. Coward!

Nope. It's jackass Wahl, who I just know has something to do with stirring up shit. I know. He seems sweet, but how can he not tell that his bestie is upset??? Wahl is just too selfish for me to like him. I tried to like him, I really did, but I don't like selfish besties.

Discount Lennon out here trying to drown people.

See, I told you that Wahl was where this bullshit all started. He is being so condescending. Saying he is the most important person to him but then ditching him all the time. I really hope, at some point, Tew beats him up.

Did he drown him???

We're back to the guessing game of: Dead or Passed Out??? (If you said that in a game host voice, give yourself ten points.)

Oh! Not dead! Ohhhhh, another pissing contest in the wild!

I refuse to believe that Tew is that stupid... I hate Wahl because I feel like he is going to get a call from his gf and just leave Guy like he always does.

Ahhh... Nice. Tew planned ahead. Never mind, I take it back. Tew is stupid. Don't lie to the boss, especially not for Wish Lennon.

I don't like the fall troupe when it's Guy and Wahl.... Just saying.

Please, please, let Tew beat him up.

Yes, I agree. You need to put an end to your feelings. Oh, wow! Wahl didn't ditch Guy, but Guy ditched Wahl!!!

Sadly, though, Guy isn't answering Tew's phone calls either.

I really think that Tew should take this opportunity given to him and beat up Wahl.

The wrong person got punched! That did not go the way that I wanted.

Guy ran home. I can respect that. Except the fact that he is acting like a two-year-old. Awww, bless him. Well, at least now he is realizing that he is running away from everything.

Finally!!!

What does it say that Tew didn't stop till he found you Guy? LOVE, the communication going on. I love that Tew is calling out Guy, telling him that he feels this way and ran because he cares about him.

He called him little boy! And then gave him a real hug!!!

Ahhh, Tew confessing. Hot damn! They are making up for that shitty ending last episode!

OH SHIT.... He is going to quit the gangster life... I'm scared.

Never mind, we'll just shelve that concern for another day. Carry On. 💜💜💜

[ilikekidsshows]

Rewatched Ephemeral after so long somehow made me realise that Marinette was even worse in it than I already thought.

Gurl really deceived Cat Noir into revealing himself to 2 other people without his consent by lying to him that she cares about knowing if something were to happen to him in his real life (somethings she never ever again cares about, she only did it here to use it against him and planned to immediately take that care away from him again)

and then Marinette had the audacity to act the next in-episode weeks like her feeling COMFORTABLE to reveal herself to him has any fucking business being a priority.

What the fuck am i supposed to call her in that episode besides selfish and inconsidered? She does the worst shit to him and then expects everything to make sure she's comfortable. Marinette is so selfish, I cant believe this is being sold as "unmatched female empowerment" to impressionable children. No wonder her stans are delusional bullies

---

Marinette stans love to ignore what Marinette does in Ephemeral because it’s an erased timeline, while hypocritically being totally okay with justifying Marinette’s lying to Adrien because of Adrien’s bad reactions to the truth in erased timelines. The thing with this defense, though, is that it’s just the writers covering their own asses. “We wrote Adrien reacting this way twice to justify our decision to remove him from the finale and keep him from finding out anything he has a right to know about anything.” It should have no bearing on anything that happens in-universe, because, as far as the characters know, it didn’t happen.

Marinette can’t remember the erased timelines, so her not telling these things to Adrien because “he’s too emotional” or “he would react too badly” would all be her assumptions based on Adrien’s everyday behavior that she’s seen, where he’s proven himself repeatedly to be patient, reasonable and well put together. We can’t be 100% sure of Marinette’s in-universe motivations, because it’s not like she’s said to herself: “I need to keep Adrien in the dark because he’d be so sad otherwise!” But her defenders love to claim she was totally selflessly wanting Adrien to be happy when she denied him the information he needs to keep himself safe and alive as a “fragile existence”.

I shouldn't be so surprised that the Marinette stans ignore everything she did wrong in an alternate timeline; they ignore everything she does wrong in the canon timeline too. And that’s the really annoying thing about Ephemeral: the writers knew from the get-go that everything that happens in the episode was going to be erased, so they didn’t care about how the events of that timeline made Marinette look. I used to think, way back when I saw Cat Blanc, that Gabriel was out of character, he hadn’t jumped off the morality slope enough yet for what he did to be fully believable to me, especially since the episode was written for season 2. But, in the end, it didn’t really matter that much, even if fans accepted that as his new characterization in the retool specifically because of this episode, because it was just an erased timeline, it didn’t actually happen.

The writers don’t care about consistency too much normally, either, but the timeline nonsense episodes are even worse, because the writers have this mentality of “it will be undone by the end of the episode, so it doesn’t matter what anyone does as long as the things we want to happen do happen.” That’s why Marinette is absolutely heinous in Ephemeral; the writers and the fans who happily accept anything the writers do don’t care about the morality of our main hero in a timeline that’s gonna get erased anyway, because that means she didn’t “really” do any of it, even though she totally did and the only reason she didn’t do it a second time around was because the timeline started collapsing when she was about to do what she planned to do. Marinette had no realization about how she should stand by her partner or talk to him like a human being with Su Han’s demands, she’s just making all decisions for everyone because she’s the daughter of the creator of the universe so that’s her right because she is always right and has never failed at anything ever because she’s just so perfect and Su Han bows down to her god-given right to rule over NPCs like him.

Also, like, even the whole “I know Cat Noir’s identity but I can only tell him mine when I’m comfortable,” thing is something she does again, or at least a very close approximate. After she starts dating Adrien, Adrien showers her with affection, and her being “unable” to reciprocate because she’s so “uncomfortable” is played for laughs or sympathy. I criticized Marinette before she got to that point for the fact that she can’t manage the bare minimum of showing and telling the people she likes and wants around that she does, indeed, like them and want them around. It’s all about her and what she’s comfortable with, not about how her loved ones have to just blindly believe she cares about them when her actions show that she can’t be bothered because she’s too busy with herself.

It’s so stupid and makes Marinette come across as completely unbalanced. Because, what here, exactly, is making Marinette so “uncomfortable”? In both of these situations, she holds all the cards, she knows Cat Noir’s secret identity, she knows without a doubt that Adrien loves her, but she can’t manage to be vulnerable and reciprocate because she’s such a control freak that she can’t even manage to let go of that desire for control with the person she claims to love and wants to spend the rest of her life with, and both times he’s just meant to take it and accept it with no complaint because Marinette is just so stressed out and uncomfortable.

[thedepthsoffandomminds]

The guest PT 12

Masterlist

"You actually really like these people, don't you?" Fagin asks Jack

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?" He laughed, popping a nut into his mouth.

"Help me, Bob, I'm bully in the alley!" Rotty sang.

"I see Big Kit and his boy, Alfie, are doing all right for themselves. It goes to show that there's more out there than just ambergris." Fagin mused.

"Fagin, just enjoy your coin, and drink your rum." Jack shook his head in amusement.

"I am. Don't mean I can't be working. It's how a thief stays sharp."

A woman comes.over and sits on Jack's lap, "No. Thank you." He says to her politely.

"You still thinkin' about your fancy skirt? Who's distracted now from the sacred purpose of drinking, eh?" Fagin quips. Jack sighs.

"I just don't understand it. She keeps telling me I should be with Belle but I kissed her and I felt nothing." He runs a hand through his hair.

"ahh well women so rarely say what they mean."

Fagin fumbled in his pocket for a moment before passing a wrapped cloth across to him. "You'll be needing this soon I suspect." He nods.

Jack unfolded the cloth allowing a small silver ring to fall out.

"What is this? Who did you steal this from?" He asked in a hushed tone.

"No one, well...it was Nancy's."

Jack felt his heart stop at mention of the name.

At that moment the tavern doors burst open and red coats came rushing in. Chaos lost control.

*_*_*_*

You walk into the hospital, trailing along behind Belle and Fanny. You had made sure the younger sister used peppermint instead of peppers for the jelly she had made. You had to admit it was becoming harder to recall the TV show and what happened in it. After all it had been almost two months since you had arrived in Port Victory. At times you could almost forget where you had come from, if it wasn't for the dreams. Every night since you had fallen you had the same dream.

The sight of Hetty made you smile.

"Nurse Beggett, can I speak with you a moment?" You ask, allowing the sister to wander off up the stairs. Hetty nods and leads you into the nurses room.

"I need to talk to you, about your cousin." You say.

"Of course. What do you need to know?"

"Did she have weird dreams?" You ask nervously. Hetty stops folding sheets and turns fully to you.

"Yes, she called them visions. We didn't believe her but she would say she saw other worlds. Places where the people were different but also the same."

You breathe a sigh of relief and nod.

"Okay. What happened to her?"

Hetty's eyes dropped briefly.

"Honestly, we don't know. One day she was here the next gone."

"oh."

There is a rush of movement and noise in the corridor and you both rush out. Hundreds of people are being rushed in all around you.

You rush straight to work helping the influx of patients. You had worked in the emergency room so many nights this felt almost normal for you.

You hear Hetty call out.

"Some doctors would be nice!"

Quickly after you see both Belle and Jack coming in. Jack is frantically trying to help patients into beds and looking for the Professor. Your eyes meet his. He breathes in, opening his mouth to call to you but you turn and rush away. If you were busy with a patient he couldn't talk to you. Could he?

This influx was more than what you thought, Jack explained to the prof that Gaines had ordered this massacre and you recalled the episode.

"Bully in the Alley." You said to yourself. Upon hearing you Jack turned to face you.

"What did you say? You know something don't you?"

"I'm sorry, Jack." You say looking at the young man lying in the bed. Jack sighed.

"Can we talk?" He asks you, "later can we talk?"

"There is no need, everything is as it should be." You say and walk away.

"Y/n-"

"Let her go. I'll talk to her later." Belle says as she moves across the ward.

"Jack, this is a lot more complicated than you think. Y/n is a foreteller." Hetty said across the bed.

"Like your cousin?" His head shoots in the direction you had walked.

"Jack, patients now, love life later." She demanded. Jack nodded and went back to helping the patients.

Slowly the sun began to rise outside, Jack and Belle stood over Alfie Wilderkins.

"There's nothing more we could have done. Not with bleeding like that." Jack explained to Belle, "Hetty, have you eaten anything at all?" He asked. The nurse looked as if she was half asleep.

" No time." She says continuing with her work. All the staff had been cslled.in o er night to cope with the amount of patients. You watch them from the door. Gaines pushes past you knocking into your shoulder as he walked by.

"Captain Gaines, I will be speaking to my father!" Belle spit out at him.

" Have you come to finish them off? Blinded in one eye, a fractured skull, and a ruptured femoral artery!" Jack half shouted.

"All the results of resisting lawful execution of a warrant And that's young Alfie Wilderkins if I'm not mistaken. This is a very good day indeed." Gaines grinned.

" I want the men responsible court-martialled." Jack growled.

" Well, that would be me. You'll need to tell the Governor his right hand is a criminal." The Captain almost laughed.

"Yes. That is a very good idea." You say, causing him to turn round to you. He curled his top lip for a moment.

"Arrest them. They're accomplices." He orders his men pointing at the patients. Belle runs to the door and puts her arms out to her side.

"They need medical care. I can't let you take my patients."

"They were never your patients, Lady Belle. They're my prisoners. Stand aside." He takes a step closer to her, " Your father indulges you. If you were my daughter..." you slide between them putting your hand on his chest.

"She would run away. Like your wife." You his. Gaines narrows his eyes on you.

"And what would.you know of family?" He says.

"More than you. Tell me how is your wife's lover, oh sorry I mean your closest friend." You keep your chin turned up towards him as you speak.

Gaines steps forward his hand beginning to raise, but he's stopped by Jack gripping him.

"No, Jack let him hit me." It's your turn to step forward your face close enough to whisper to the Captain, "Where I come from, women hit back and harder."

Gaines let out a growling huff, his lips moving like he wants to say something else. He turns back to Jack, "Pity you didn't strike me, Dawkins." He said before marching from the hospital. Belle follows him.

"Your father can stop this!" Jack shouted.

"Where do you think I'm going?" She shouted back. Jack takes a step toward you but you retreat slightly.

"You removed your bandage?" He said quietly. You look down at your arm and twist it.

"yes, I needed the movement, I'm alright. It's okay, the pain is minimal." You assure him before once again turning away.

*_*_*_*

"Right. Here we go. Hair of the rat." Fagin poured the secret Whiskey into two mugs handing one to Jack.

" I need to find what Gaines cares about the most and rip it from him. Hit him where he'll howl." Jack says, hand lent on his hand.

"No, Dodge, provoking the lobsters head on, that's not our way."

" He's turning this place into a floating prison yard." Jack argued

" Which it technically is. And what's priceless in a prison? Contraband. He's done us a service, he's turned liquor into gold. And you know what's useful about me being on your ward? I got word from an injured farrier, about where they're takin' all that purloined grog.

"Gaines is knocking my patients' skulls in, and all you're thinking about is nicking grog!"

"It's because we're pickpockets. We're not the cavalry. We melt into shadows, we spot our moments, we survive. Now, I've got a man on the inside. Literally." Fagin laughed.

"These people matter to me, Fagin." Jack spat out

"Ah, very pretty. That's a lovely sentiment. Very noble." Fagin sat across fr.him

"Look, a stagecoach goes by with a year's worth of grog. Flashbang's hiding inside one of the crates..."

" What happened to you to make you so shrivelled with self-interest? Cold winds, Dodge. Cold winds. A stick with brass tacks on it that fell on me back no matter how much I begged. A belly that gnawed and never got filled, except for gruel or filth, and creeping hands in cold alleys and the dark nights without a roof. All right, I get the idea." Fagin explained making Jack feel small. "Yes. Things that you and Oliver never had to worry about, because I always made sure you boys had a blanket and a fire and a meal, and the means to get them when you was grown."

" Then why not show some of that same sympathy to these people now?" Jack implores.

" Look, you can give yourself to this crowd if you want, you can pretend you've found a home. But most people are bastards who will cross you as soon as spit and then when the night turns, the only one who'll be loyal to yourself is yourself, and me." Fagin continued.

"Until it inconveniences you."

"You're one to talk. You get a hole in your chest and you want to fill it up with crime, 'till Lady bloody Cheekbones twitches her skirt, then you drop me and you piss off. Well, I'm your family, Dodge. I'm your home, when you condescend to acknowledge me." Genuine hurt filled every word Fagin spoke.

"y/n is not just a fancy skirt. She isn't one of them." He fights back, turning his eyes to the floor.

"Could have fooled me." Fagin almost walked away until he saw the look on Jack's face. He had seen it once before. Many years ago, utter devotion to another person without question. A set of eyes that would remain in his mind forever in his memory and devotion that got the girl killed. He stepped back to the man that was once his beloved child, gabbing him by the shoulder and squeezing.

"I'm sorry, my boy. We'll get him, soon enough. Give it time, but lad, don't fall in love lad. It'll ruin ya."

@fandomfan-102 @deanstolemydragon @mydeputyghostwagon

[msbhagirathi]

IPKKND LIVE BLOG SEASON 1 [Epi 5]

Let'z welocme Shyam today. *sarcasm intended* (-_-) (I know I wrote the wrong spelling by mistake but then I noticed it and thought let it be. Who cares. Shyam himself won't come here to correct me.)

There, I gave you the biggest spoiler of the episode, in advance to ruin your mood.

Heh. I am evil.

Now don't leave without reading it, okay? I do a lot of mehnat into writing these. :')

Come. Let'z begin this then *sighs irritated-ly*

Arnav's manager shows him the live news with the footage, being telecasted in some channel. (Kamlesh Khabri ji, was that yours ? Lol.)

2. Did you-too- wonder about that 'smart' phone, Arnav was holding? Turns out, I could find it.

3. "Aaj ka saajan" Lmao. (Today's lover)

4. Arnav, while watching that clip, being telecasted, flashes back to the line Khushi said last, before leaving. "Devi maiyya ki marzi ke bina koi kuch bhi nahi kar sakta, koi Arnav Singh Raizada bhi nahi." (No one can do anything without Devi-Maiyya's wish, not even some Arnav Singh Raizada.")

5. Basically, he is thinking, that, he has shown her place to 'that girl', who had said that he can't do anything without some 'devi maiyya's wish'.

6. This is clear in his reply to Akash's protest for over paying MR . "Meri beizatti karne ki himmat naa kabhi kisi ne ki hai, naa ab koi karega." (No one, has ever disrespected me, nor anyone would, now, have the guts to.) Oh. So, the problem is your ego issue.

I should have known it. Khushi had the misfortune to meet you and now she is paying the price with her reputation and dignity, being butchered like animal slaughtering. You, a__hole.

7. Khushi and her Amma are getting molested by a bunch of perverts.

8. Babuji tries to stop them, but he gets a hard push, which results in Shashi losing his balance and his head hits a nearby pole.

9. The men are very adamant and one of them tugs at Khushi's dupatta.

10. There. A man, wearing, a beautiful shiny brown pair of office shoes, with a matching pair of trousers, is shown stepping down from somewhere. He starts walking (towards the scene?)

11. A Turquoise bracelet gleaming in his right wrist. (why the fck isn't he wearing his wedding ring?) He is shown from behind some -shops?- He walks upto where babuji had fallen down. He helps him to stand up.

12. Wow. Daiyya Ho! What an entry.

13. Everything aside. Aabhaas looks so fckin handsome in that outfit. Everything. Literally, everything about his look is so freaking perfect. The colour combo of the shirt and pant. The shoes. Oh. God. I am in love with those shoes.

IDK. It's just looks so- fantastic?-deliciously beautiful?- I am simping for those, quite literally. Is it normal for some human to simp on a pair of shoes? Whatever. So. Yeah. I was talking about the look. The flare of the pant, as he walks. His haircut. Like. Wow. Absolutely ravishing.

14. And he starts beating those mfs, one by one.

15. After beating those hooligans. He walks back to Babuji, to check up on him. He tells him to get a band-aid for his cut. Babuji is touched by his words and thanks him for the help.

16. Then, Shyam turns to look at where Amma was standing but is transfixed to see Khushi shyly(hesitantly?) looking at him with tears in her eyes, from behind her Amma, just like any other rom-com film, only that, this isn't any other rom-com film. (the Sitar and Tabla BG score used, here, is so freaking beautiful and also kind of suits him coz it sounds something like wicked and graceful.)

17. We can see, he is caught off guard, by the way, Khushi is looking at him; by her beauty. He realizes her hesitation and picks up her fallen dupatta and offers it to her but Amma takes it back. He might have wanted to talk to her but, before that, he is pulled out of his trance, by babuji and they bid him a goodbye.

Khushi turns back to look at him, one last time. Only that, this isn't the last time, they would be meeting. Alas. Khushi as well as we, don't even have an idea about, the depth, of his obsession with Khushi that, will go, after this moment.

18. Look at the absolute contrast, in the way, they introduced both the anti-hero and the main villain. At this point, half of the audience might have already started shipping Shyam and Khushi.

19. The sequence, at Gomti Sadan, is so freaking emotional. Khushi is, again, getting punished for the crime that she didn't even commit. (Or until they think that she shouldn't have left the house at all.)

20. Even babuji cannot come to forgive her, this time. Garima decides to send, both of them, away to Delhi. Buaji, who always had an over-reaction for every situation, was, a minute ago, shouting at both of them to say or do something, to punish Khushi,(She really likes to see Khushi suffering. Bloody sadist.) is shocked. Lol. "Dilli kauno davaai ki pudhia thori haee, ki ghol ke pilaay dio. Sab theek." (Delhi isn't some bundle of medicines that dissolving it in water and making it drink someone, would cure everything.)

21. The moment she realizes that she has to take both of the girl's responsibility, she spits out the water from her mouth. Lmao. She tries to convince both of them but is not successful. Her discomfort is so visible, as she gets to taste the result of her instigation. LMAO. LMAO. LMAO. Buaji ab maza aaya? Lol.

22. Anjali comes in with a thaali, diya and some incense sticks burning. Arnav is immediately irritated at the sight of his Didi (initially he used to call her 'didi' then he resorted to 'Di').

23. She asks about whether he ever thought about the well-being of 'that girl' before creating such a huge ruckus and Arnav, I think, is caught off guard.

24. We are immediately taken to 'that girl', who is so innocent that she could not even think that her 'woh' had released those 'taswirein'.

25. She vows to find out who was the one to release them.

26. Deepali's foundation was so off, in this scene. (Literally, her face looks so pale.)

27. Payal asks Khushi, in a challenging(or admonishing?) way, that how will she find out, ready to scold her, for even mentioning to do something else, lest it worsens the already messy situation, they are in.

28. Screen cuts to Arnav, still in his thoughts (maybe regretting? Lol. No.) as he comes out of his reverie and says " Soch ke hi toh kiya tha." (It was a thought out move.)

29. Liar. (Liar, pants on fire. Lol.) No. You were not thinking when you ordered for those videos to be released, Arnav. Why are you lying then? Tell your Didi that you did it, in a fit of rage, to show 'someone' that you actually hold a lot of power. Bloody b_stard.

30. Lol. "Ab aap apna yeh 'naari mukti morcha', yahan mat nikaliye, yeh mera office hai." (Now, please don't start your 'Women's Liberation March' here, this is my office.)

31. Lmao. The brother-sister banter is so heart warming and fun to watch :)

32. Both Khushi and Payal reach the office of 'Khabrein 24x7' (News 24x7). Khushi, is nervous, and clutches Payal's hand in fear. Payal understands her distress and smiles victoriously, that now she will be able to convince her sister, to return back to their comfort zone.

33. But, her sister is more courageous than she seems to be. And, true to her nature, she tells Payal to take a seat and walks up to the reception, gulping nervously.

34. She asks to have a word with their company's 'maalik' (owner). But, the receptionist tells her, for that she would have to go to Delhi.

35. After a few minutes of deciding, when she wants to talk, to the receptionist again, she tells her to wait for sometime without paying any attention that she is 'the same girl'.

36. Sometime later, the workers of the office realize that Khushi is that 'TV wali ladki' and they start mocking her and make fun of her situation. They circle her in the center of the office and keep laughing.

37. Payal is disappointed and reduces to tears immediately, she quickly walks up to Khushi but loses the courage to take her out of it, as her feet get frozen, due to the nervous-ness, by all that negative attention, that, they are getting.

38. Khushi noticing, that her sister is getting affected by the mess that they have managed to land into, speaks up. She, while shedding tears, knocks some sense into them. And they are.....umm, immediately regretting it? No realization?

I mean to say that they could have shown them realizing their mistake, like, they could have taken some time? Then, that, 'sorry we were wrong' could have made much more sense. Did you too feel that? No? Only me? Ok. Leave it. (Pata nahi choro.)

39. So. Yeah. They 'feel' sorry immediately. And regret it. But, Khushi does not want their apology. She wants the answers which she had come for. They reveal that they got the orders from the higher authorities ('Woh clippings release karne ke orders upar se aaye the.')

40. Khushi asks who send them those clippings and is unsurprisingly shocked. I know. I don't make sense. But. Let me explain. See. She is so naive, that, she didn't even realize the extent of power and influence that ASR commands.

Just because, she got to 'talk' to him personally, in a fairly public place (The Dargah), without any appointment, in his own office, doesn't mean that he is not 'that' much influential. It's just, he chose to have a conversation about the topic with her. He could have easily ignored her. But, he didn't.

So, my point is, she could not even come to think that only he would be the one, who could do this, even after, getting into a heated argument with 'The ASR'. She had already started treating him like an acquaintance. Like, he is a random normal person, just like her. And, not some Business Tycoon of the Fashion Industry. She had already started treating him like an equal, like a normal person, of her 'status'.

41. So. She's shocked. Screen stops at her face. Precap begins. *quickly pauses it* Spoilers. (Although I had already watched it once earlier *smiles nervously* I am not a hypocrite, okay? I had watched it out of excitement.)Ok. Bye.

P.S. : No P.S. Bye. Have a great day/night ahead. God bless you.

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[deimosbreakfrost]

Total Drama Island (2023) S2 "Rewrited" au

A possibly cringe Fan Fic that I'll hate on the future

So, this is a fan fic of an Rewrited au of mine... """""Rewrited""""" because I'll change alot of things and I am just making this fan fic for fun while showing you guys what I would change.

Okay, let I start this modern tragedy already.

First part:

Episode 01, The kids will (not) be okay:

-The episode starts with Chris, Chef and the entire cast from the Total Drama island (2023) on a plane, going to a new season in a "new" place. Chris was talking to someone by a Walkie Talkie.

*Biiz*

???: Mr. McLean, seriously that you're lying to them saying that they're going to some kind of "total drama: World Tour" 2?

Chris: umm... Maybe--?

???: McLean! That's pratically clickbai-

Chris: Hey! Don't you dare use this "modern generation" language on me! Anyways, be ready because we're almost getting to there.

???: ah, ok-

- Chris ends the transmission

Chris: wow! That boy still annoying...

Chef: Chris, we're recording!

Chris: Ah, don't worry! After this introduction we will be finally free! ... I mean, just me, not you!

Chef: grr...

Chris: ah, calm down! Anyways, it's been a year 'total drama fans'! Since we don't see Each other THAT long, I'll give y'all a quick recap.

Last season on Total Drama Island:

16 new contestants showed up with the dream of taking that 1 million dollars price.

And the eliminations we're surprising!

Caleb was just there. until he even had the chance of doing something, Bowie made everyone eliminate him! Poor boy...

Nichelle humiliated herself Infront of everyone.

Emma HAD a chance of showing to everyone on live tv that Chase is (or was) a horrible person, but Chase was luckier than her.

Julia was boring, the way she talked, the "spiritual, love and peace" things that she normally talks about was annoying enough to her team.

Wayne would do anything and everything for his best friend Raj, and he was more than happy when he found out about his buddy's secret!

Scary Girl was Creepy, but not for Axel and Ripper! They we're her Unic friends that she had in a while, and the Unic ones that think that her actions are more annoying than scary.

Priya was pathetic! Seriously that she think her parents are so great that she easily go insane when someone criticizes them? Pff, surely the most well deserved elimination of that season.

Mk was smart, a little too much. And because of that, she went from being Bowie's Allie, to be a traitor! Well, it was that, that Bowie made everyone believe.

Raj has a secret, he loves Bowie! And because of that, he made our fandom go wild for them! The fandom loves them! Especially that people from that one Social Media that has "Tum" on the start...

And Chase knowed About that! The fact that Bowie and Raj we're dating, of course. Not the fact that the fandom is crazy for them. So, as a indirect revenge for MK, he was double eliminated with Raj!

Ripper and Damien have a... Interesting friendship. A "nerd hater" and a nerd!

Ripper was... Adorable? Yeah, he went from being a pathetic alpha male wannabe, from being a even nicer version of Owen, and because of that "adorable" personality that he gained he made Damien, Zee and especially Chase be his best friends! (Axel and scary girl too) Good for him, I guess.

Damien screamed a lot until His friends convinced him that being public humiliated in live television isn't that bad!

And Millie was nice, she tried to write a book about how much this generation is potentially bad, but after Priya's elimination, she learned that it was just a exception! There IS good people from this generation, you just need to find the right ones! (Priya not included)

And let's go to the final 3...

Axel, she had everything to win! The strength, the power, the personality... But, Ripper and Scary Girl missed her, so they finded a way to make her go back to them! That's what you gain when you are friends with a fake emo and ex-bad boy.

Zee, how did he got in there?! He could easily be eliminated until the merge but no one wanted to! And if wasn't for the "milk" part of the last challenge, he would have won! But he didn't.

And Bowie won! He used and eliminated half of the cast not counting with Wayne and Raj, of course.

Chris: So yeah, EVERYONE that I mentioned is back!

-Then it cuts to Chris in the passagers cabin with the 16 participants.

All the 16 participants are in here

The one that went out first:

Caleb: I'll make YOU guys regret voting me off...

-Caleb said in anger, while pointing at Bowie

Bowie: geez...

Ripper: you got a bit 'edgy' after 1 year, huh?

Caleb: what?

The most misunderstood one:

Ripper: huh?

Chase: wait, since when Ripper is misunderstood?

And the worse one:

Chase: excuse me?!

Emma: pff...

And of course, the winner:

Bowie: yeah, exactly, me!

Chris: well, I don't know if you guys noticed but Bowie was the Unic villain after a long time that won a season, the Unic one that did that was heather.

Bowie: wait, reall-

Chris: okay, this is slowly getting boring! So let's make the things end quickly!

-the ground below all the participants opened up, making all the participants fall into The water.

Chris: Ahaha... I'll miss that, and Chef already leaved without even saying "bye"!!

-Chris quickly ran to the drivers cabin, grabbing the plane's volant and taking control of it.

Chris: arg! Okay, I'll be quick! This surely the last time you all will see me hosting this program! Yeah, this is Sooo sad! But listen up! The future is bullet proof and the aftermath WILL be secundary! And time to them do it now and do it loud! I am Chris McLean, and I'll never, EVER see y'all again! Bye, losers!!

-after Chris leaved everyone behind, the scene cuts to the brand new hosts

...

Topher: Yeah, we're finally hosting our favorite reality show ever!

Sierra: But it's just so sad that Chris is gone for like... Forever?

Topher: nah, judging by the way he is he'll surely randomly appear when we Least expect it or something. But anyways, yeah, Chris finally gave his role as host for someone else!

Sierra: two to be exact.

Topher: yeah, right! Anyways, I am Topher! I was a participant of Pahkitew island!

Sierra: and I'm Sierra--!! I was a participant of World Tour!

Topher: and if you haven't noticed yet...

*Both Sierra and Topher say together*

We are the brand new hosts of total drama island

...

Topher: season 2.

Sierra: you don't need to explain it to the Audience-

Topher: okay, now pull the opening already.

[wise-lizard-wizard]

thoughts on dino squad? (2007)

(btw it’s episodic. You can watch it in any order tbh (first episode is titled ‘the beginning’))

I absolutely adore it!

I run the account Victor-Veloci-Simp-69.

I've been thinking about linking it to my Main, purely bc when I reblog and reply on posts, it shows my main, so it seems like I don't interact with people as my DS account, which makes me sad because it feels like I might be interpreted as standoffish? But I never have time, and it feels insignificant to do so.

I watched the show when I was a kid, then rediscovered it a couple of years ago, and now every few years I rewatch it.

Its not Technically a "good" show but eh. I love it.

I think the reason why I'm so obsessed with the show is because (This going to get so long, I am so sorry, I have so many thoughts)

There are so much that is just never adressed. I have so many thoughts. There is so much to expand on, so many AUs that are there for the imagining.

I genuinely like the episodes. The plot is genuinely so much fun. The why's of these plots is...questionable. The how's is fun tho.

IT IS SO INCONSISTENT! Okay, not part of why I like it, but Ahhhhhhhhh. None of it makes sense. The characterization changes literally seconds apart!!!!! WHAT!!!!!

JUST FROM EPISODE 1: WHY IS BUZZ DEPICTED AS AN ANIMAL LOVER AND THEN GOES "NAH, I'M NOT SAVING THE DOG FROM DROWNING". This happens seconds Apart!!!!

Why does Roger act indifferent about the assignment and then say "we should work together on this assignment" and Care about the assignment. SECONDS APART!!!!!

THEN THERE'S THE ANIMATION! OH MY GOD. At 4:21, Caruso is shown barefoot. At 4:25 HE HAS SHOES ON.

Ms Moynihan after they get mutated goes: "I told u not to go into the water" NO YOU DIDN'T. YOU NEVER SAID THAT. WHY R U LYING.

(Okay, so she could have said that off screen,I'll give it a pass, but also Literally No Where was that message implied to have been said before she stated that. Also, that implies that she knows Veloci is regularly dumping shit in the water.)

Also, Veloci injects Peter in episode 1 and this is just...never adressed again? What does that do to Peter, besides his eyes changing? THERE IS NO EFFECT WHAT DOES IT DO, I DON’T REMEMBER SEEING THE GUY EVER AGAIN WHAT!!! WHY DID VELOCI DO THAT.

Since Peter was injected with the Ooze, but Veloci is looking for his "perfect dinosaurs", then that inplies Peter is a failed dino. What happened to him? I am in hysterics. What. DOES VELOCI JUST HAVE LIKE A BUNCH OF STAFF THAT ARE FAILED DINOS!!!? I HAVE QUESTIONS!!!

I AM....AHHHHHHHHHHHH....I am so normal about this hahahaha.

Which is probably why it sticks in my head so much. Any media I get obsessed with usually has some aspect that makes me want to rip apart a chair with my teeth. Half the fun is telling my friend about the thing that makes me choke in frustration/rage. I like ranting. Its part of the fun to me.

4) I love the animation style.

5) I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS, I AM CLAWING AT MY ENCLOSURE, HOW!!! HOW DID VELOCI AND MS M SURVIVE IN THAT CAVE???? WHERE THEY SLEEPING FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS??? IF SO, HOW WHERE THEY NEVER DISCOVERED BY HUMANS IN ALL THAT TIME?

AT WHAT POINT DID THEY AWAKEN? THROUGH WHAT TIME PERIODS HAVE THEY LIVED? HOW DID THEY EXPIERIENCE WORLD WAR 1? WORLD WAR 2? ALL THE TRAGEDIES? How did they get from point A to point B????

How did they get to their current lives?

There is so much that remains a mystery. And with the large amounts of time Veloci and Ms M had, there is so much thats just. Not there. There are so many gaps to fill. There are so many AUs that can happen. And with the inconsistencies, there are so many places where I can't image the characters are anything but either unreliable or maybe even straight up lying...

Oh, and that's the other thing:

5) They are all, and I mean every single character, Major Assholes. The assholiest. Their only consistent character trait is being an asshole. I love it.

Anyway, I am sooooi normal about this show. So normal.

Also, very important! I love your dinosquad posts!!!! They're really cool, and I love seeing you in the fandom! Just. Feel really gushy about your posts. Also, I always feel really happy when I see you liked one of my Dinosquad posts. Its a small fandom, so I always feel like I'm talking into a void.

I have more thoughts, but this post has gotte really long as is lmao. I am so sorry.

This ask meant a lot to me, so thanks ♥.

[nygmobblepot-trash]

Oh so they're just going to pretend like last episode didn't happen and go straight to finding Sylvie.

Cool.

(Rant)

Mobius and Loki almost died and we aren't going to get even a scene showing the aftermath??? Wasn't Mobius hit by the temporal aura (whatever it's called)? Didn't Mobius ask what took so long? Didn't Loki explain why he said they needed to find Sylvie after time slipping? No one said anything? Or am I supposed to believe Mobius wouldn't lose his absolute shit when he found out he almost died because Loki was too busy making googly eyes at Sylvie.

Ok. Ok. Maybe to be fair they really said nothing. In E1 Loki told Mobius very little what happened at the end of time. In E2 we see Mobius burying his feelings hard--even worse than Loki. But at least show that. Mobius in E2 seemed completely different. I get he's probably putting on an act because he really doesn't want to think about his life but come on.

Actually you know what? I think he was putting on an act for the whole episode. Call me delusional but I don't care. In the beginning, Mobius seems really happy to be looking for Sylvie. I think that was true but for other reasons. It's clear Mobius doesn't want anything to change. He doesn't want to think of a life he could've had so he needs to keep being an analyst. Before shit hit the fan that was searching for Sylvie. The whole thing is a game for him. It's why Loki was so serious and Mobius didn't really seem to care. He rather have a drink with Brad and play games. Normally Mobius wouldn't be so easily fooled but he was while Loki was the one paying attention. He's obviously going through the motions. He's happy again when he and Loki are trying to figure out the TemPad. Of course, it doesn't last long as the interrogation follows.

Let's talk about the interrogation. God I want to talk about it so bad because what the fuck. So Mobius warns Loki that Brad is an asshole (Mobius keeps swearing and I'm so here for it) and to not lose his temper. So I immediately think okay Loki is going to go off on this dude because why not? He'll do anything for Sylvie. The gang walks in and Mobius did not lie at all. Brad goes off on everyone. He's laying into Loki the most of course while Mobius keeps trying to keep Loki calm. Brad's speech also mimics several conversations Loki and Mobius had in S1. Brad basically says what Mobius said to Loki in S1. He drills that Loki is a villain and only brings suffering and pain but instead of twisting it around like Mobius did it changes into something that Loki yelled at Mobius towards the end of S1. Brad doesn't twist it into something hopeful or give Loki a choice no he tells Loki that at the end of the day he's lying to himself, that he can't play the hero. Yes that isn't exactly what Loki said to Mobius but it's eerily similar to the "lies you tell yourself" in S1. I understand if that made no sense but I'm just saying that it's super interesting to see the difference between Mobius and Brad.

Anyways so Loki starts to spiral and it seems like he's going to say fuck it. They even cut to Mobius's concerned face. I do love though that no matter what happened Mobius let Loki take the lead. Yes, he kept butting in but it seemed like he was reminding Loki that it was okay. It was like his way of proving Brad wrong. He was trying to tell Loki he trusted him and that he was with him.

I will say that Brad said the one thing I'm sure everyone in that room was thinking, "You're too obsessed with her. You need therapy." Honestly Brad you were so real for that. But he wasn't done yet. This man then had the audacity to tell Mobius to control his pet. And Mobius smiles and tells a fucking joke about Brad disappearing?? And Loki smiles at it?? I'm sorry but what is going on? Mobius I love you. I was so disappointed that they didn't let Mobius lead the interrogation because he would've rocked it. But Loki failed so Mobius said fuck it and did not disappoint. He literally got one line in and it was telling Brad he's going to disappear with a smile on his face. Mobius is ruthless.

This is where we circle back to the point I was making before... several paragraphs ago... I'm sorry. Brad goes off on Mobius and Mobius takes it for a little bit. You can tell what Brad is saying is getting to him. He's making points that even Loki is reacting too. Points that Loki should've talked to Mobius about already. It seemed like Loki was just then realizing that Mobius hadn't brought up his life at all. That Mobius had been acting like nothing was happening. Which was interesting to see. Finally, Loki seems to pay attention to Mobius for 5 seconds. Of course that's interrupted by Mobius slapping the hell out of Brad. Thus making it clear Mobius has been freaking out for a while but hiding it. They were both probably having a panic attack at the same time. The whole time Loki was running around in a panic Mobius put his fears aside and focused on Loki. It's incredibly sad. Did he feel he couldn't confide in Loki? It really hurts that this poor man had his world turn upside down and not once did Loki bother to ask him about it. Loki had to think it was odd that Mobius just stopped trying to burn down the TVA. Mobius deserves better.

I am happy that Loki stopped worrying about Sylvie for 2 seconds to chase after Mobius who clearly wasn't okay in the slightest. "He got under your skin" and "I was following you" Sir? Do you even know where you're at? Loki's dumbass doesn't know what to do either and takes Mobius to get some pie. As if that's going to fix anything. Mobius admits he lost it a little bit and Loki tries to relate and uses the battle of New York as an example of a time he lost it. ??? I'm sorry? Honey, Mobius punching someone isn't the same as you trying to conquer a city. You suck at this. Thankfully Loki cares enough to dig into why Mobius has no desire to at the very least see what his life could be like. Honestly, though Mobius's answer makes sense. Of course, he doesn't want to know. He's all about free will and deciding your own path. Why would he care what path he was on? It's a path he was supposed to be on but now he isn't. He got to escape the sacred timeline, he has always seen that as a blessing which is why he fought so hard to rescue Loki. The thing that annoys me though is Loki moves on so fast. I get he probably respects Mobius's decision. After all, if he saw a happy life that was taken from him that would suck. But why not ask what Mobius really wants to do? No one would blame Mobius if he got up and left. He now has the free will to do whatever he wants and yet he stays at the TVA. It would have been interesting for Loki to point out that Brad was kind of right. That it isn't healthy to pretend like nothing happened. I could see Mobius getting angry and pointing out that technically Loki is hiding from his reality as well. But of course, we can't spend too much time developing Mobius or his relationship with Loki, we have to get back to Sylvie.

Interrogation 2 happens and they finally get the info they wanted. The whole time I was thinking "damn this really seems like a Mobius plan," only to be proven right. Of course, Mobius immediately jumps to torturing Brad and calls it a "little bit of mischief". Again I have to ask, sir are you okay? Mobius is fucking terrifying.

I think the answer is no. When they take Brad to McDonald's Mobius is acting strange again. He's snapped back into acting like everything is okay. He ignores Sylvie and Loki talking and is being nice to Brad -- the man he punched within the last 10 minutes). Mobius is petty and as we now know hides his feelings until he explodes. He is clearly trying to distract himself with the food. Brad starts to freak out and Mobius tries to dismiss it but can't by saying that the relationship (between Loki and Sylvie) is complicated. But his petty ass can't stop there and adds that opposites attract in the same breath as him saying that Loki is in a relationship with themself. Mobius is really out there saying that opposites attract and Loki and Sylvie aren't opposites. Brad then says it's weird and I'm waiting for Mobius to agree but this man goes, "hey isn't it cool that 10 minutes ago you said I was nothing and then I punched you and got a God to torture you?" Mobius are you good? For the love of jetskis stop deflecting. You can't just torture Brad again because you're too much of a coward to talk to Loki. I will say good on Mobius for figuring out it was a trap. The slap on Brad's arm and the angry "Hey!" Will live in my mind for far too long. Like I said Mobius is scary as hell.

Lastly, I want to talk about the end (yes I'm almost done with my rant -- yay!). I hate that Sylvie continues to be pissed at Loki and the whole TVA. Loki and the others are trying their best. She didn't give them a chance. She just made a decision for everyone else and got pissy when they couldn't fix her mess. Honestly fuck right off. That's all I want to say about her. Anyways the thing that broke my heart was Loki saying, "Please, don't. It's harder to stay." I'm sorry but what the fuck does that even mean? Maybe I'm interpreting this wrong but does he mean that if she isn't around it's hard for him to stay at the TVA? If I'm right, then what the actual hell? Your friend Mobius is hanging on by a thread and you want to abandon him? You're all he has. He isn't close with hunter B15, OB, and Casey like he is with you. Mobius never once abandoned Loki. And yea I get that he does go over to Mobius and puts his hand on his shoulder but he only does it after getting rejected yet again by Sylvie. Hell Mobius probably just heard that Loki doesn't want to stick around. Are you seriously telling me that Loki is just using the TVA and Mobius to find Sylvie? At least last episode he wanted to go find her and fix the mess that she made.

Please stop chasing after someone who doesn't care about you in the slightest.

[suratan-zir]

warning: lethal dose of oversharing

Autumn started with a depressive episode, as per usual. When you have bipolar disorder for long enough, you know when to expect the worst times, and for me it's during autumn-winter. Winter used to be my favorite season, but now I'm basically a plant, relying heavily on the amount of sunshine hours to function. This time it's the worst (subjectively speaking) kind of depression. I can live with severely damaged executive function, sleep and stare into the ceiling for weeks, no problem (obviously, only because I have my husband to take care of me, otherwise I wouldn't survive on my own).

What truly gets me is when the painful nostalgia kicks in, the longing for something, someone from the past I can't have. In my "normal" mental state I accepted that these people are forever in the past, they are no good for me, I am no good for them, and that's okay. I accepted that I would never have close friends again, I am too tiresome a person to be around for too long (I know many people say that about themselves, but in my case it's unfortunately true). And as time goes by it's getting harder and harder for me to open up to someone. Even to myself, actually. For most of my life, from the moment I more or less learned to write, I kept a diary (or journal, or whatever you crazy kids call it these days). But a few years ago I stopped. I catch myself on being dishonest. With myself, yes. I realized that I could no longer openly write what was really on my mind. At least not like I used to. So that's that.

So anyway, in my "normal" state I'm content with having only one person to talk to. It can get lonely, but I'm okay. However, in the "not-so-normal state" it's a whole different story. In mania, I sometimes absolutely need to have friends, I start talking more to the people online, but after the standart "asking each other lots of questions" phase it soon gets awkward and leads nowhere once I'm no longer in mania.

It's worse in melancholic depression.

This is when nostalgia kicks in. Or "saudade" should I call it? A terrible feeling of longing for people with whom I once was close. They've moved on, I've moved on. They live their happy or miserable lives, I live mine. Except that I'm lying and I don't really know how to move on, I just never do. I also lost people to the war, even though they're alive. So when this kind of depression begins, I start listening to songs from the past, I drown in painful memories, losing my mind in the flashbacks forced upon me by my brain when I'm trying to simply take a shower or have a lunch. I have dreams filled with places from the past. If it goes too far, I start googling names like a creep, looking at social media pages. I don't do it often, maybe once every few years, but it feels humiliating and icky every time.

Today I was brave and foolish. I went through my old email for the first time since moving from Donetsk. I didn't find what I was looking for. I felt disappointed rather than relieved.

[jasntodds]

Caving In [5]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 10,370

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, mention of torture, mentions of previous homelessness, fluff, hurt/comfort, mentions of bruises, a mention of a previous broken bone (Jason), mentions of abuse (nothing is in detail)

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: I know this a week late but I couldn’t edit this last week so here we are!! I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 The first few chapters take place between season 2 episode 1 and season 2 episode 2. You can add yourself the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

The rest of the night passed in a blur. You hung out with Gar until eleven. You just watched two of his favorite movies and he gushed about them the whole time. You were pretty excited to start training with Jason but watching movies Gar helped the time pass by a lot quicker. It didn’t even really feel like you watched two movies. And you even felt bad about bailing on a third movie when it got later but you knew you’d be late if the two of you started another one. You promised you’d continue the marathon tomorrow though and that seemed to please him. So, you went to your room and waited out the extra hour.

Apparently, everyone is normally in bed around midnight if there isn’t something going on. Rachel went to bed two hours ago and you haven’t seen Dick since he checked on you and Gar around 10:30. Gar’s door is shut and there isn’t a light coming from under the door when you exit your room. You’ve always been more of a night owl, it’s always been the one time when you could be completely alone. Even in Gotham, the streets were quieter at night. It almost felt peaceful even but as you walk down the hallways and into the living room, you spot Gar sitting on his laptop on the couch.

“H-hey?” You ask as you get closer. “What’re you doing up?”

Gar looks at you with raised brows. “Couldn’t sleep, you?” He vividly remembers you saying you were going to bed and you don’t look panicked as if you had a nightmare again.

“Same.” You lie with a nod. “Walking sometimes helps.” You don’t like lying, but sometimes it has to be done. You want to trust him to not say anything, but you’re not really sure if you can. For all you know, he’ll run right to Dick and tell on you and Jason before training even starts.

“Do you want me to walk with you?” Gar’s hand goes to the top of the laptop as if to be ready to shut it.

You almost say yes because you like his company but this is a secret between you and Jason. Gar doesn’t seem like the type to disobey authority. You don’t want to drag him into a mess you and Jason are potentially causing for the next week or so. What he doesn’t know, can’t hurt him.

“I’m okay.” You say. “Thank you though, I’m just gonna….walk a bit but I’ll come get you if I change my mind.” Gar nods, understandingly, looking a little sad but confused by it. You didn’t decline after last night’s nightmare but you are now. He isn’t sure why, he feels like there’s something going on but it’s also none of his business so he doesn’t say anything.

You finish your walk to the training room, putting your guilt about lying to Gar in the back of your head. When you enter the room, Jason is right there, waiting. A part of you thought maybe he’d still be mad and stand you up. It’s a pleasant surprise that he’s actually here.

“Midnight.” You wiggle your phone, the screen lights up at Jason.

“Cutting it close.” Jason taunts with a mocking grin.

“Shut up.” You shake your head, walking up to him. “Where do we start?”

A chuckle leaves Jason’s throat, amused by your eagerness. Finally, someone else who gets it. “Have you ever punched someone?”

“A few times.” You shrug. “It wasn’t really my thing.” You scrunch your nose.

“How wasn’t it your thing?” Jason questions, his brows furrowed.

“What do you mean?” Your eyes go left and then right, trying to figure out what he’s so confused about. Some people don’t like to punch other people in the face.

“Seems like you'd be into hitting people.” Jason chortles.

Your survival instincts is actually why he thinks that. The whole dealing with torture for a year thing, living on the streets of Gotham, your overall detached sarcastic attitude, it all makes him think you wouldn't be afraid to throw the first punch.

“Rude. No,” You shake your head with a laugh. “Like I said, people didn’t hate me and I wasn’t one to throw a punch. I talk a lot of shit for someone who’s only been in a handful of fistfights.” You shift your weight. “And….close hand-to-hand combat is a bit sketchy. Shit starts going south, you’re fucked. I threw knives.” You state nonchalantly, watching Jason's face contort in surprise. "People fear knives, everyone thinks they stand a chance in a fistfight."

Jason's brows knit together, trying to piece all of this together. “Knives???? And how did you manage that?” He didn't see that coming.

You shrug. “Guy at one of the shelters, he taught street kids how to defend themselves. Self defense and he had a thing for knives.”

Jason lets out this booming laugh, his head tilting back. “Yeah, uh, Knife Guy? Like, that’s what he was called, right? Shelter by the library?”

“Yeah,” You let out a shy laugh. “Yeah, white hair, scar across his left eye?”

There’s this feeling in the pit of your stomach you can’t identify knowing that Jason knows who you’re talking about. The guy had been around for years according to his stories and rumors. So, of course Jason would know who he is. But, it’s still weird because had any of yours and Jason’s circumstances changed within a year of each other, you likely would have run into each other. You wonder if you would have hated him or been too infatuated with him to focus on anything else if that had been the case. You settle on the feeling being bitterness.

“Yeah, that’s the guy.” Jason gives you this understanding smile. “Okay, so he taught you knives and how to punch?”

Jason didn't care much for the guy. He didn't really know what he was doing, even before Jason's training he knew that. But, it was better than nothing. Time and time again, Jason witnessed other kids who got picked up by dealers, by other kids, by scarier adults. A lot of kids knew to just start screaming bloody murder and it'd scare off the person because it draws too much attention, usually. But, other times, some sort of defense was needed and no one else was helping. Something is better than nothing, that's what Jason thinks anyway. But, the knives, the guy had a thing for that and he rarely ever missed.

“Kind of.” You shrug. "It was mostly knife work I learned from him. Let's be honest, him and the library are the only reason anyone actually goes to that shelter willingly." You grimaces. The staff kind of sucks there. They aren't very nice and the food is somehow worse at that shelter. But, beggars can't be choosers.

Jason walks over to the table containing throwing knives. He picks one up and flips the blade towards him, offering you the handle. “Let’s see what you got then.”

You smirk at him and it’s been a while. You’re not very confident in your ability to hit a target but you won’t let Jason know that.

“I am rusty, so remember that.” You chuckle, taking the knife from him and walking in front of the target. You aim as you were taught, realizing your vision is still a bit compromised but you take the throw anyway. It sticks at the very bottom of the target. “Well, fuck.” You groan.

“Not a sharpshooter that’s for sure.” Jason chuckles.

“Give me another!” You spin, glaring at him. Jason does as told and you spin around, arming again and this time, it’s closer but still far off from the bullseye.

“Least you get it on the target, I guess.” Jason teases you. “Maybe you should get some hand-to-hand in, might do you better.”

“Fuck off!” You grow annoyed and you were never a sharpshooter but this is ridiculous. You should be closer, at least. It’s why you chose the knives. You’re better at it but this is not it. You won’t let Jerry take this away from you either. “Give me another one.” Jason hands another one over, crossing his arms. He is a little impressed with you making it on the target. He can tell by how you move your arm, it hurts. It’s shaky when you pull back and you step into it with a shaky leg. That’s why you’re missing but Jason lets you throw again before saying anything. This one is worse than the first one. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” You groan, throwing your head back.

“Did you want some advice now? I mean, we can do this all night. It’s pretty funny but I could help.”

You stare straight ahead, rolling your eyes before turning to face him. "Enlighten me."

"You're in pain and you gotta fight through it." Jason picks up a knife, spinning it in his hands as if to show off. "Go faster. Stop thinking so hard about it. You always think that much? Cause, if you're in a fight, you don't get that."

"No!" You yells to defend yourself. "Of course, not but I haven't done it in a while and yeah, it’s kind of painful." Usually, when you were to throw a knife, there wasn’t a lot of thought, not after a while. Your eyes and arms just worked together. Again, it’s not that you were a sharpshooter or anything, but your movements were fluid and you usually hit whatever you were trying to, even if it wasn’t a perfect target. But, this is different. It feels like you’re starting over in a way because hitting this stationary target that isn’t even that far away should have been easier.

"So?" Jason challenges you. "It should be like getting on a bike." His eyes widen as he stands toe to toe with you, dangling the knife. "Just throw it." His grin is taunting and you keep your eyes narrowed at him.

You take the knife from him and does what he says. You don't think about it and just spin around, throwing the knife just as it comes into view. The knife sticks just a few inches from the bullseye and you get this smile on your face that’s drenched in pride and relief while Jason's is proud.

He can’t help the way his heart skips a beat with the smile on your face or with the way you spin back around, confidence oozing from you. Your eyes are bright and this is the first time you look genuinely happy. Jason’s stomach flips as you eye him with pride and in the moment, a subconscious part of him swears he never wants to see you anything but happy and proud.

"See? Stop thinking so fucking much." Jason chortles, brushing off the bubbles in his stomach.

"That how you function?" You quip, crossing your arms over your chest.

Jason shrugs. "Working pretty well." He spreads his arms out. "Robin."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." You let out a sigh.

He has a point. But, you hope that maybe he'll be really good at this training. But, you both can stick it to Dick and maybe it'll be a way, in a roundabout kind of way, for Jason to show Dick what he can do. Maybe that'll be enough for Bruce. You can train carefully but successfully. You think it should be enough because while you have so far been enjoying his company, the way he just beams like the morning sun when he mentions Robin, you want him to be able to get back to that. You don’t have to know him in depth or for very long to know he deserves it.

"No bad though." Jason nods his head at you.

"Was that a compliment?" You wiggle your brows at him.

"Yeah, fuck off." Jason chuckles softly as he looks to the floor and back to you. "Alright, you wanna do that or you wanna fight?"

"Fight." You answer, the smile falling from your face as you nod at him once. You'll get back into knife throwing when you can train with everyone else. You were always better at it.

Jason walks to the center of the floor, you following him but keeping your distance. "Do you do know how to punch someone?"

"Assume so." You shrug. "Knife Guy did teach me that."

Jason rolls his eyes. "Show me."

You hesitate but walk towards him anyway and make a fist and punch him lightly in the arm. Jason bursts out laughing and you can't be serious.

"That's a joke, right?"

"I don't want to actually p--"

"I can't train you if I don't know if you can even punch someone. Aren't you still mad at me from earlier?" Jason questions. He was sure you’d be okay with a friendly sparring session. He didn’t think you were actually someone who didn’t like to punch people.

You shrug a shoulder. "I don't have many grudges."

"Start, it'll help." Jason quips, there’s a roughness to his voice and you wonder what grudges he’s hiding. "Just fucking hit me, it's not like it's gonna be worse than anything I've had before."

You roll your eyes but do as he says, actually putting some force into it and Jason just blinks at you. He can't tell if you just don't know what you’re doing or if you’re weak as a person or if being malnourished has made you weak and that's why you suck at this. You’re going to be a part of the team and he's gotta get you to be stronger than this if your powers aren't going to be fool proof like Dick likes to think.

"That's pathetic." Jason nods.

"Thank you. I used to pride myself in not being very violent." You scoff.

"You're a Titan." Jason almost pleads.

"That's why I'm here so you can teach me to be more violent and actually kick ass. I'm not who I was before. I said used to." You only acted in self defense, life or death, scared situations. But, you want to be ready for anything. Act first, think later kind of mentality from now on.

For a second, Jason wonders if this is a good idea. He wasn't a super violent person before Robin either. He's had his share of fistfights, of course, nothing on this planet will get Jason to shut the fuck up and people don't normally find it charming. He had no choice. It's always kill or be killed. But being Robin gave him a free pass to kick ass. Sure, the criminals all deserved it and it was mostly under the watchful eye of Bruce, but it was a free pass and maybe some of that went to his head like when he beat up a bunch of cops when he was helping Dick. Does he want to put someone else through that? Is that what Dick meant with all that talk about not being Robin? Jason can't imagine another life, sure he fights more but it's also the most himself he's ever felt and there's a sense of feeling complete being Robin. Maybe that's just one of the consequences of finding yourself, losing a part of yourself.

"I'm also injured." You continue. "I could punch harder if it didn't hurt."

"Okay. I'm gonna teach you how to throw a punch and a proper kick then we're gonna spar." Jason explains, earning raised brows from you. "So, I can see what you can do and what you can't right now. It'll be easier for me to figure shit out, not gonna push you too far."

"Alright." You agree. "Show me, then."

Jason walks you over to the punching bag and takes your hand in his and you can't help but notice the difference between how his hand feels compared to Gar's. It's cold, more calloused. It's rough like all he does is beat his fists into things which by the looks of the fading bruises on his knuckles, that is all he does.

He makes a fist with your hand and then stands behind you, using his feet to move yours in a proper position. His hands are on your hips and there's a second where his heart stutters. He convinces himself it’s because he just doesn’t want to get caught and you’re just starting. It’s not because his hands are on your hips and you look over your shoulder at him with nothing but endearment.

Your stomach flips under his touch and you don't know what the flipping in your stomach is. You can't even tell if you like it. It's different than the flipping with Gar because this feels....like adrenaline. It's a rush like running through the streets at night, the sky cloudy and the air muggy but something feels so good about it. Refreshing even. But Gar is a calming and comforting flip, butterflies even. He's the safety of a house after being out late at night, where the bed is the most welcoming place on earth. Jason makes you want to go skydiving, something you'd never do in a million years and Gar makes you want to curl up by a fire with hot chocolate and a pet dog.

"You're gonna wanna move your hips when you punch, gives you more momentum, stronger punch." Jason explains as he walks in front of you.

"Like this?" You throw a punch and the bag moves.

"Yeah, like that." Jason gives you a soft and proud smile, something you never thought you'd see coming from him. "Keep going but try putting more force into, as much as you can."

You do as you’re told and Jason gives a few pointers here and there on your form. But overall, you aren't doing too bad given your lack of experience and it makes Jason feel important. It's the first time since leaving Bruce that he feels important. Someone needs him. It's for fighting, but needs him nonetheless and he's doing a good job helping you. It feels really good. And after a few minutes of you hitting the bag, he feels it's time to show you how to kick properly without breaking a toe.

Jason does a few examples and you always thought the kicks of any type of fighting look so ridiculous when there isn't a person at the receiving end. Jason makes them look a little less ridiculous though and you follow his lead. You try to do what he does and he tells you what you’re doing wrong and what you’re doing right. He's surprisingly good at constructive criticism. Dick might not like what Bruce turned him and Jason into but as far as you’re concerned, they were taught well otherwise Jason wouldn't have any idea what constructive criticism even is and would just be badgering you about what you’re doing wrong.

"So," Jason starts as you grab a drink of water after a few rounds of kicks and punching bag hits. "How's this gonna work with your whole...combat thing you do?" Jason asks. "Because part of this is teaching you how to block but if you can dodge everything already?"

You shrug. "I can try to ignore it?" You offer.

"Is that something you can actually fucking do?" Jason quips with a chuckle.

"I don't fucking know." You laugh. "Probably, I did for a while with Jerry."

It’s not something easy to ignore. It’s kind of like trying to ignore a raging migraine. It doesn’t hurt but it’s throbbing and it’s annoying. But, you’ve done it before in a far worse situation. Jason, you know he’s not gonna hurt you. This is just training, some (Jason) might even say this is just fun. So, you think ignoring it might be helpful for right now but you swear you can’t make a habit of it.

The acid is one thing, it’s not something you like very much but the combat clairvoyance is nice. It’s useful and no one would ever know that’s what it is. But a part of you worries that if you ignore it enough, it won’t be as effective. The last thing you want is to be stuck with powers and then the one you like to not even work properly because you spent too much time ignoring it.

Jason nods. "Right. Alright, well, I won't actually try to hit you hard." Jason huffs but there's still a smile pulling at his lips. "Not a fair fight."

"Ha-ha." You mock. "No, that's fair." You laughs softly.

"You just have to block me, that's it." Jason shrugs as if it’s the easiest sentence he’s ever said. Something tells you blocking Jason isn’t going to be that easy even with him not trying very hard.

"Okay." You rest your water bottle down and follow Jason to the center of the room.

Jason takes position and you mimic what he's doing, not really understanding the purpose but roll with it anyway. It gains you a smirk and a head shake from Jason before he asks if you’re ready. You nod and Jason moves towards you, the sparring starting.

You feel the throbbing of the back of your head with Jason coming at you. It's throbbing and aching, a constant state of feeling like someone waking you up banging pots and pans right against your ears but you push through it. Ignoring the signals from the back of your head, you use your arms to block him to the best of your ability. It's not much actually but you saw him spar with Gar and Rachel earlier, he's holding back a lot. He's slower and there's almost no strength in his punches or his kicks. He's being careful not to hurt you and there's something really nice and reassuring about it. He just wants to help. But then you miss one of the blocks as Jason's leg comes up, connecting with your right flank.

You let out a scream and drop to the floor, holding your side. Jason stands in shock, questioning how it hurt that bad because he swears he didn't kick you hard, it was more of just a tap.

"Fuck, are you okay?" Jason moves to his knees in front of you, you hunching over, fighting back tears as the stinging intensifies.

Your eyes are slammed shut with your forehead pressed against the floor but you give him a thumbs up. "Fine, I...I'm...I'm fine."

"I-I'm sorry." Jason mumbles. "I didn't--" His hand is hovering over your shoulder, not sure what to do or how he can help.

"Not your fault." You cut him off, your words sharp and short, not mad. "Fuck." You look up to him, your eyes a little red.

"Let me see--"

"No." You shake your head. "It's fine...I just...need....a minute." Your words are breathy as the pain makes your heart race.

"Y/n, I'm really sorry." Jason apologizes with sad eyes wreaking of guilt.

"It's a bruise, not your fault, didn't tell you how bad." You mumble, as you try regain your breath, the pain fading just a bit.

"How fucking bad is that bruise? It should be getting better by now." Jason's voice raises with touches of anger and worry.

He's pissed you didn't tell him how bad the bruise still was. He still would have helped you but he would have minded his kicks and punches a lot more. He would have avoided that side. You were going easy enough that it would have been simple for him. He'd never hurt you on purpose. And he can only assume it's the boot print. It's the one bruise you specifically mentioned and bruises in the shape of boot are usually pretty bad and linger but he thought you'd tell him if it were that bad.

You suck in a breath as the stinging fades a bit more. "Pretty bad, I guess." You mutter. "Didn't think it'd be a big deal."

"That worked out real fucking well." Jason groans. You dodge his eyes and Jason feels guilty. It's not really his fault but you just wanted to train. If anyone would understand that, it's him.

You go quiet for a second and you feel bad but you’re just desperate. Being hurt makes your feel weaker and you hate feeling weak. You know that it's okay not feel completely okay and take time to heal an injury but you just don't think you have that kind of time. It's terrifying knowing Jerry is still out there, even if he stands no chance against the Titans. It doesn't matter because he's out there probably living his best life and you just want to live yours.

"I-I'm sorry." You mutter out, still dodging Jason's eyes. "I-I...I, uh, I don't like feeling weak and, ya know?" Your brows furrow. "Um..." Your jaw clenches. "Telling you how bad it is, it's just admitting it to myself and I don't...I don't want to do that." Your eyes finally lock on Jason's and his heart sinks.

He lets out a sigh and rests his forearm on his knee. "You're not weak, alright? Some dickwad did that to you, alright?" He shakes his head and something about you make it really easy to open up. It's easy for him to open to Gar because Gar doesn't judge. He just lets him talk and that's kind of what you do but you offer this sense of genuine understanding, even with stealing the hubcaps off the Batmobile. You're plenty different but on the surface you're so similar Jason finds it easy to talk to you. "I got hurt once, as Robin." Jason states.

"What happened?" You ask.

Jason's jaw clenches. "I didn't listen to Bruce, it got me a little hung out." Jason explains. "I broke my collarbone. It sucked because had I listened to Bruce it wouldn't have happened and then he benched me until it was healed, obviously." Jason scoffs as if to still be mad about it and you have a hunch he's madder about not being able to be Robin than he is about the broken bone. "I tried to train with it broken though." Jason lets out a laugh. "Bruce caught me and it got fucking ugly, he was pissed." There's a simple smile on Jason's face. "So, I get it, alright? But, if you don't tell me, I can't help you. I know how fucking keen you are to tell people shit, but this would help."

"Thanks, Jay." You say and Jason's heart flutters, no one's ever called him that before. He likes it when you say it. You let out a sigh and decide to show him the bruise. "Promise not to tell anyone?"

"Do promises mean something to you?" Jason asks, his voice slightly snarky.

"Yeah, of course. All we have is our word. They don't mean anything to you?"

Too many people have promised Jason things over the years and none of those promises ever worked. His dad promised he'd be there for him, always, because his mom was down and out. Then he was an idiot working with Two-Face and got himself killed. His uncle promised to take care of him and then drank himself to death. Cops promised he'd be okay but he hasn't felt okay a day in his life, not until he put on the Robin suit but that was because of Bruce and because Jason took his life into his own hands. And now it's been tugged away from him. Social workers promised they'd find a really good home for him. They didn't. Teachers promised they would help but they gave up on him. No one's ever been up to the task of really and truly helping him but they all promised they would. They all promised he wouldn't be alone. So, no, Jason Todd doesn't believe in promises.

"No." He scoffs, keeping it short. "People say they promise just to get shit from you."

Your eyes are sad and your heart breaks for him. You don't really know him all that well but you know everyone else is wrong about him. You can tell. No one gives him a chance to be good but you will. You don't trust anyone either, not after everything. It's so easy to break trust and nearly impossible to get it back but you want to trust people again and you want Jason to trust people, trust you. You trust him.

"I won't make a promise to you I can't keep or make a promise just to get something from you." Your voice is small, filled with candor but you keep your eyes locked on Jason's and suddenly it all feels a little too real for him. He feels like you’ve put him under a microscope and is looking for signs of a deadly disease.

"That a promise?" Jason quips back, a bite in his voice but you don't take the bait.

"Promise." You nod your head just once. "I keep my promises. I've never broken a single one."

You’re this puzzle he can't figure out, something of a Rubix cube. He doesn't understand why you even care. You don't even know him but you treat him better than people who've known him his entire life. A part of him even thinks it's some sort of prank, he's waiting for the cameras to come out and say he's being Punk'd. But, your eyes are sincere and warm and welcoming. He drown into you if you'd let him.

"Alright," Jason sucks in a breath. "I promise I won't tell anyone."

You shift carefully so your flank is facing Jason. You lift up your shirt just enough to show him the bruise. Jason's jaw nearly drops as his brows furrow and pain shoots through his entire body. The bruise is, in fact, a boot. He can see the tread and he thinks about old episodes of CSI and how they'd use shoe prints to pin the killer. He swears they could do that with this shoot print because it's so vivid and he wants to know how you didn't have any internal bleeding over it. The whole bruise is dark. It looks agonizing and maybe Dick was right about you not training.

"Shit." Jason lets out a breath as you pull your shirt down and face him.

"Yeah...it kind of hurts."

"No, shit." Jason huffs. "That's..." Jason pauses he swears that he would hunt down Jerry himself right now if it weren't for you sitting in front of him. "I hope you get to hunt him the fuck down one day." His jaw is clenched and it makes you smile.

"Yeah, you and me both." You let out a half-laugh half-scoff.

Jason lets out this dry laugh, his blood boiling. It's just not fair and Jason knows life isn't fair but it should be for you. "I'm serious, I'll hunt him down if you don't want to."

You give him a large smile. "I appreciate it but he's my battle. It's why I don't why you tell Dick. I'll find him one day."

"You'll have the best training in the world." Jason holds his head up high giving you a cocky grin. "I'll make sure the fuck doesn't stand a chance against you."

You almost forgot what it's like to have someone so protective of you. The only person who was ever like that was your mom but it never resorted to something like this. It was just that one time with your dad showing up and the usual things like defending you against nosy soccer moms or putting her arm across you when she had to slam on the brakes in the car too quickly. This is different because Jason doesn't know you but he'd protect you anyway.

"As I said, you're not so bad, Jason Todd." You grin at him.

"Told ya, I'm the best." Jason boasts.

"Yeah, I'll give it to you...this one time." You laugh softly.

"It won't be the last, babe." Jason quips and you roll your eyes. If it were anyone else, the arrogance that radiates off him like bad cologne would be annoying. But, it’s cute on him.

"Mhm, whatever you say, BaBe." You mock him, widening your eyes.

Jason lets out a laugh and you think he's cute when he laughs. You wish he did it more. "Alright, come on." Jason moves to your left side and pulls your arm, putting it around his neck. "We're gonna some ice on it before it gets worse."

You look up at him. "You're not mad, are you?" He doesn't seem mad anymore but you just want to make sure.

"No." Jason shakes his head. "But can you fucking tell me next time?"

"You got it, boss." You give him a thumbs up, standing up with him and wincing with the movement of getting to your feet.

the two of you start your walk, opting to remain quiet this time. You feel safe with him. His grip is tight around you, but not too tight. He’s holding you close to him and you swear he’s probably the safest person in the world. Jason, though, he just feels understood. He thinks if he offered to help Rachel, he wouldn’t but if did, she’d cringe or make some nasty comment about it. But, you, it’s like you just get it and of course, Gar gets it, too. The two of you understand him better than anyone ever has. In this moment, Jason swears to himself that if it comes down to it, the people he’d save over anything and everyone, including himself, are you and Gar.

With every step, you wince and you’re starting to understand why Dick wanted you to wait. You'll never admit that he was right because you’re too prideful for that but you get it now because this pain is horrendous. You knew it would hurt if you got hit but you highly underestimated just how much. And because that wasn't bad enough, Gar is still planted on the couch when the two of you enter the living room. Jason and you freeze for a second as Gar makes eye contact with you.

Busted.

"What are you...what...what happened?" Gar gets up from his seat as concern coats his words, you and Jason just standing there, at a loss for words. "Are you okay?" Gar asks you before looking to Jason and then back to you.

"I'm fine, Gar." You pull your arm away from Jason's neck and make your way to the couch, favoring your right side. Gar follows you while Jason goes to the freezer for an icepack.

Gar sits on the coffee table in front of you. "He didn't....?" Gar asks, knowing full well that Jason would never but needed some type of reassurance.

You sigh knowing you can't hide everything from him, he already knows too much and if he goes to Dick about it, this whole thing will blow up more. You do not want to get anyone in trouble.

"You can't tell Dick, okay?" You ask and Gar nods while Jason comes back, handing the ice pack to you as he takes a seat on the coffee table in front of you. "Jason is helping me train since Dick won't let me yet."

"That's stupid." Gar states, mostly referring to the both of you teaming up to do this. Dick just has your best interests at heart and Jason should know that better than anyone.

"That's what I said." Jason adds in.

You narrow your eyes at him. "You agreed to it." You mutter. "I neglected to tell him about a bruise and he tapped it."

"Tapped?" Gar questions.

"Swear, I barely touched her."

"Yeah," You shrug. "It's just, uh, it's pretty bad, I guess." You look down before looking at Jason as if begging him not to tell Gar further details about it. You want to spare him the sight of it. "It's a shoe print so." You clear your throat.

"Holy shit." Gar mumbles, shaking his head.

"Yeah," You suck in a breath. "I thought it'd be fine but it is not. The others are healing fine, a little faster than I expected actually but this one is just taking a little longer, I guess." You shrug your shoulders. "So, it was just an accident."

Gar sits for a second, obviously, he knew it was bad. He looks at your face every day. But a vivid shoe print on your side seems to have crossed a line he didn't know he even had. He's pissed and Gar isn't someone that gets pissed often. How can someone do this to you? You’ve got a smartass mouth but that's not a reason to do that to someone. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, no one deserves that and there's a part of him that almost wants to hunt the guy down.

Jason, on the hand, kind of wants you to show Gar. As he said, whatever Gar imagines is going to be worse than what it actually is. And Jason knows from first had experience that Gar isn't going to make it weird or anything. He'll just be understanding and maybe even he'll want to find the guy. But, Gar would actually understand more why you want to train. However, Jason isn't going to say anything. He promised.

"Okay," You nod your head finding the silence and wide eyes from Gar a bit uncomforting. "You're making it a little weird."

"Sorry." Gar apologizes, shaking his head. "It's just pretty messed up."

"It's fucked." Jason locks a knowing stare with you, matching the conversation you had the night before. "Piece of shit doesn't deserve to walk around free."

"We're not going after him, Dick will kill us." Gar protests though, if Jason or you went after him, he can't blame either of you. Even before knowing about this bruise, he wouldn't have blamed you.

"No one is going after him." You state. "If anyone were going to, it would be me. I said I don't hold many grudges. This isn't a grudge, it's vengeance, karma. Eye for an eye. My eye for an eye, no one else's. But the plan is not to seek him out, just be prepared if he seeks me out."

"Is that why you're training?" Gar asks.

"Gotta be prepared." You dodge his stare and Gar gets you wanting to search the tower a little more now. You’re fully convinced he'll come looking for you if he finds out you’re alive. If you’re alive and you start telling people what happened and who did it, he'll be fucked.

"The guy still deserves the same shit he did to you and then some." Jason remarks.

"Yeah, well, he's also not my fucking problem." It’s harsh but it’s also true. It’s very fresh and maybe in a few months, you’ll feel differently about it. But, for right now, he is not your problem. He isn’t your problem unless he comes looking for you.

Gar's attention snaps back to you with the comment. "What if he does it to someone else?" Gar asks, almost feeling like siding with Jason.

You shake your head. "I'm not seeking him out. I spent a year trying to escape and I won't risk it again." You’re being candid with the two of them and you don't feel too bad about it, actually. The both of them together make it easier. Gar has the calmness and level-headedness you need whereas Jason is the hot-headed one that you prefer in conversations like this, probably because you like the idea of killing Jerry. "I'm not...trying to be a bitch but.....did you do anything about that doctor?"

Gar shakes his head. "But he didn't do that," He gestures toward you. "To any of us. This is different."

"I guess." You shrug, readjusting the ice pack. "Look, I don't want anyone to know how bad it was, okay? I tell you two because I happen to really like the both of you and talking to you. I don't want anyone else to know how bad shit got, alright? Any of it, okay?" You plead with them and Jason nods along, he doesn't like people knowing the deep and dirty secrets his heart carries either.

"Why not?" Gar asks. "If Dick knows, he can help catch him."

Of course, to some extent, he can understand it. It's something that's hard to talk about. Talking about trauma is never easy. He remembers Jason finally breaking down and telling him stuff, he did in a very matter-of-fact way which just made Gar worry about him. But, after a little bit, Jason had a real conversation about it and why he doesn't like to talk about. It makes it real, people look at him differently. You and Jason are so much alike it seems that Gar wonders if that's how you feel about it, too. If so, he wishes you didn't because talking and letting people in, does help. Gar would know.

You admire Gar's endless optimism but you’re a glass-half-empty kind of person. "You know how people say trauma makes you strong?" Gar nods. "It doesn't, it just desensitizes you. Not feeling anything is not a strength, it's a weakness. Being terrified of sleeping and letting your guard down for more than a minute, that's not strength. I will not look weak to anyone, ever again so fucking help me." Your stare is harsh and your mouth is pressed into a straight line.

Listening to someone say they don't feel anything besides a sense of fear and paranoia, it's not something Gar has heard before even if that is how someone has felt. He can't imagine the kind of pain must put someone through. He didn't really get it until now and maybe now he understands why it was easy for you to talk to Jason. Jason seems like he doesn't feel much, Gar seems like he feels too much. He gets why you don't want anyone to know, as much as it pains him, he'll swear he won't tell anyone.

"Okay." Gar nods.

"Thanks, guys." You suck in a breath. "I'll be fine, like, really. It'll fade and one day I'll be okay but I'm not close to that yet." You show some slight optimism.

You aren't sure you believe the words you said or not but looking at the concerned faces of both boys, you felt like you needed to say something. You don't want them thinking you’re about to jump off a building or something because that's not it either. You do feel safe here and while you aren't sure if you'll recover from everything, you do know there's a chance if you’re here with these two because they make life after the trauma look appealing and fun again. They make it look like you can move past it, either in a heroic, aggressive way or in a happy-go-lucky way. They make it seem possible and that's all you really need.

"If I ever see him though," Jason starts, not thrilled with the idea of letting this piece of shit just be free. Maybe that's the issue with being a Titan for him, he wants the fight and Dick won't let him. At least Bruce let him fight. "I'll kill him."

"How do you even know what he looks like?" You ask, narrowing your eyes and you catch Gar stiffen in front to you as Jason’s eyes glance to Gar. "Oh my gosh, did you like, Google me or whatever?"

"No, we didn't fucking Google you." Jason quips, his eyes slightly narrowed. They did not Google you.

"Research me? Using some type of Wayne tech?" You retort. "You know what I mean."

"Well..." Jason gains this sly smirk and he's not all that apologetic about it. There's not a doubt in his mind if the roles were reversed, you would have done it, too.

"We just wanted to make sure you weren't here to kill us." Gar says apologetically.

"Wait, so, you guys knew this whole time and didn't say anything?"

"We're sorry." Gar apologizes for the both of them while Jason just shrugs. Gar gives him a dirty look.

"Sorry we ran your blood through the computer." Jason's tone is almost mocking, he isn't all that sorry about it. He feels a little bad about the invasion of privacy, especially since you did actually tell him what happened. But, it was for the safety of the Titans, or so he tells himself.

Your face contorts and you can't really tell if you want to be mad about it or not. On the one hand, that's an invasion of privacy. Did Dick also do that? Is that why he's so trusting? But, on the other hand, you would have done the same thing and getting mad would just make you a hypocrite. Though you have questions about why they were so confident to use your blood. But, that’s an entirely different thing to unpack that, in all honesty, you didn't even wanna know.

"I...okay." You shake your head, choosing to move on from it. "So...why didn't you guys just say you knew?"

It's Gar who shrugs and speaks up before Jason can have some sarcastic quip. "We didn't want you to know and make you uncomfortable and we weren't really sure what happened. That's not actually in the file."

"We figured." Jason says, looking away from you.

"Ahh." You say. "Anyone else with you two?"

Gar shakes his head. "Just us." Gar clears his throat. "Rachel, knew though. We didn't tell her anything though."

"Hmm." Your eyes narrow for just a quick second. Rachel knew the boys were going to look up who you are and didn't tell you? Alright then. But, you don't say anything about it. Gar is at least her friend so maybe she didn't want to throw him under the bus for someone she doesn't even know.  "Well, since you already took it upon yourselves to look into me," You suck in a breath. "Anything you actually want to know that I haven't said already?"

Gar looks at Jason and they're both almost certain this is some sort of trap. They're not entirely sure how but it has to be. You can't possibly be open to just discussing whatever questions they have about anything prior to coming here. You haven't been that open about anything. But Jason takes it as a challenge, if it's a trap, he'll walk right into it.

"How'd you end up in the system?" Jason asks, jerking his head up slightly. He kind of assumes it's the whole breaking into cars thing but he's curious.

"Busted breaking into a car because no one told me that hubcaps were the smarter option." You give Jason a joking glare, your voice holding tints of sarcasm. "I fucking tripped, can you believe that? Pavement was slick and I slipped." You let out a laugh.

When it happened, it was definitely not funny. It was disappointing and you felt like a failure. But, tonight, there's a part of it that you find funny. You ran those streets a million times in the pouring rain and never had any issues but that one night, you slipped. It's so dumb.

"Fell from a fence." Jason laughs.

"You guys tried to escape from the system?" Gar looks between the two of you. Of course, seeing what you’ve been through so far, he gets it but the entire system can't possibly be like that.

"You guys tried to escape from the system?" Gar looks between the two of you. Of course, seeing what you’ve been through so far, he gets it but the entire system can't possibly be like that.

"Fuck yes." You and Jason say simultaneously.

"Clearly," You continue. "I had the right idea."

"Yeah, foster care is a fucking joke even if it's not as bad as what's his face." Jason shakes his head. He's had his fair share of time spent in foster homes and most of them weren't that bad. But, it wasn't the best time of his life either.

"Assuming you never got the lovely experience?" You ask Gar.

Gar shakes his head. "I went with Dr. Cauldon when I got better after he fixed me."

You offer him a sweet smile. "You're lucky." You clear your throat. "Uh, I mean, there are a lot of foster homes and stuff that aren't bad, of course, right? I mean, I met someone who ended up in a really good home. It's just..." You scrunch your face, trying to figure out how to phrase it.

"Do you want to take the risk in ending up in a bad one?" Jason asks the rhetorical question, finishing your thought.

"Yeah, exactly."

"Yeah, I knew a few people who ended up fine in their foster homes. So, it's not horrible but when it treats you like shit..." Jason turns his head at Gar.

"You turn a little bitter towards the system as a whole because the system should be in place to protect us. But, I was better off on the streets." You set the ice pack on the couch beside you. "So, I mean, you're lucky you didn't have to navigate it."

"I'm seeing that." Gar lets out a breath.

Lucky was never a word Gar would have used to describe himself. His parents die of a mysterious disease, he also gets the mysterious disease and the only way to survive was through a weird doctor. Then, he gets better and he's not even allowed to leave the manor. Of course, he did anyway but he wasn't supposed to. It's not like it was horrible at Doom Manor or anything because it wasn't but it also wasn't freedom or very fun. It was just existing to Gar and he never considered that to be lucky, not until meeting the Titans anyway. They've all had pretty horrible lives, actually, the more Gar thinks about it.

“So, any other questions?" You ask, mostly looking at Gar.

He has one but he's not sure if it's really appropriate. He mostly just wants to know what happened before Dick found you. Did Jerry really just leave you there alive and if so, why? Did he actually think you were dead? He's just curious how it all happened, he's glad it did but he wonders. On the other hand though, he doesn't want this to get uncomfortable or weird, although you seem to be comfortable with Jason asking questions.

"Did, uh, he really just leave you in that alley?" Gar asks.

"Uh..." You stutter, brows furrowed. You don't have much memory of it, actually.  "It's kind of hard to remember." You suck in a breath and suddenly you’re nervous. Something about Gar asking makes you nervous, maybe it's because even when Jason is serious, you have a hard time taking him seriously where Gar, despite the quirkiness and softness and smiles, when he asks, he always seems serious. "I tried to come up with a plan for awhile to escape but I was always chained up and I didn't get to develop super strength or anything. Um....so...." You shake your head, wishing you had a hoodie on suddenly, feeling too exposed. "I figured it was do or die at some point." Your head hangs and you remember the day you made your decision.

It was a regular day for you, chained in the basement and injected with something new. Jerry got mad and that led to the same old situation. This time though, it broke you. There wasn’t anything different about it but it broke you. The exhaustion had finally set in and you were tired. You knew you’d give up soon, you could feel it in your blood so you hatched a half-assed plan.

"Let me preface this by saying that I didn't want to die, not really. I was just exhausted from it all and I needed to get out of there because he was gonna kill me at some point." You state looking between the boys and you feel the mental fatigue deep in your brain like a permanent virus just waiting to be activated again. "I-I decided I'd piss him off real bad one day." You say through gritted teeth, Gar and Jason hung onto every word.

The energy has shifted. It always felt light-hearted despite the seriousness of the discussion. You were joking and so was Jason, Gar giving you looks of disbelief but this is not that. Sometimes what the mind can do to someone is worse than anything someone else can physically cause.

"I knew he'd get really mad and one of two things would happen. One: either he would kill me and I'd be out of my fucking misery."

Gar winces at the thought, that's what you thought about? Having him kill you? And Jason can't fathom it. No amount shit he's been through has pushed him that far. He knew, of course, because you told him but it was very casual. This story while the same as the singular sentence you said about it, feels drastically different and far more upsetting than it did before.

"Or two: he'd beat me so bad he'd think I was dead and dump me somewhere." You tilt your head to the right. "It was risky and not calculated but to be honest, I did not give a flying fuck what would happen. Guess, he thought I was dead and now I'm here." You shrug. "I got good at staying calm so I didn't fight back. In a way, I supposed I faked my death." You scoff as you roll your eyes.

The room falls silent as you finish and you feel like you said way too much. You didn't mean to go that in-depth about it but you kept looking at Gar and his sad eyes and you just couldn't help it. He wanted honesty and you couldn't not give it to him, not with the look on his face. But, now you regret it because the look of sorrow on his face feels like it's going to be permanent when he looks at you and that's the last thing you wanted. And even Jason is just silent. The kid is literally never silent. He just said what you did was badass last night but apparently giving context, changes the attitude about it.

"As I said, I didn't want to die. It just...ya know?" You furrow your brows, dodging your eyes from the boys as you think of how to form your words. "You hit this breaking point at some point where you just can't take it anymore and that's the do or die moment and sometimes that's literal. It was for me. Do or die because I just could not do it anymore. I wanted to escape if that.... clarifies anything. I...I just wasn't....given more options."

"Why didn't you use your powers? You said it's because you were afraid he was going to kill you but if that was the plan anyway..." Gar's voice is raised a little like he's upset by what you did which, is fair. But, he's known you for three days and he doesn't have a right to be upset by it.

"I wanted to escape." You state, sympathizing with him being upset by it. "If I used my powers and he happened to have some, too, he'd definitely have killed me. That was the only way I could see to have a shot to live outside of that fucking basement."

"That's so fucked." Jason shakes his head and it's the same reaction he's had all night but is there anything else to say about it? It's all fucked.

"You've said that." You nod.

"It is. Still think it's badass you just took it though." Jason shrugs, not quite sure how to process any of it and Gar is taking it very seriously. Based on what you've told Jason, he thinks maybe you’ll shut down if something quick-witted or sarcastic or snarky isn’t said.

Gar gives Jason a disapproving look. It's not badass, not to Gar. It's sad. No one should be out there just shrugging off their possible death to escape a bad situation. Jason was at least right about it being fucked. But it's more than that. There is a deep, almost unbearable ache in Gar's chest looking at you and realizing that most of the bruises he can see, including the ones you normally have covered up, are all new. Most of them seem to be turning into shades indictive of healing though, which is good. It's hitting him how fresh of all that still is to you and maybe you’re right that trauma doesn't make people strong but to Gar, you are. To deal with that and come out the other end, willing to trust him and Jason now, after three days is incredible.

You don't seem desensitized talking to them. It's trust and while he wants to do everything in his power to protect you, he also admires you because he knows he could never have made that life-or-death decision. He would have fought to get out or just taken whatever was given to him.

"Please, don't apologize." You say, looking at Gar. You know he's going to, he has the whole time and you don't want or need it. It doesn't make any of it better. "It's not something--" You’re cut off as Gar just pulls you into a hug and your eyes widen.

The hug is gentle like he's afraid if he gives you a proper hug maybe you'll shatter into a million pieces like fragile porcelain. But it's how he knows to communicate best and it's better than apologizing again or just echoing Jason. This is something distantly Gar. And you have a sad smile as you hug him back and you do like his hugs. They're comforting and he's so warm. You wonder if that's just a Gar thing or if it's the mutant part of him that makes him so warm. But you like how it quiets the roaring in your head like a tunnel muffling the sounds of rain. You like that you can feel the warmth through your bones, the constant ache of just existing eases and you don't really want him to let go. But then he does because hugs don't last forever.

"Thanks." Your smile is shy as you look at him while he pulls away and Gar's cheeks burn.

Jason has one furrowed brow, Gar glancing over to him. "Don't fucking hug me." You burst out laughing as Jason looks a little too serious. Sometimes Gar gets into a mushy mood and Jason will never admit it, but he does kind of like when Gar gets like that. But, he’s trying very hard to break the tension in the room.

"Why would I hug you?" Gar scoffs through a laugh. Jason looks like he would murder anyone that showed any type of physical affection toward him right now. Gar isn't stupid.

"Way to ruin a moment, Jason." Your laugh starts to subside.

"You're welcome." Jason huffs, a smirk on his lips.

He didn't really ruin a moment exactly, he did however, break the tension. Shattered, actually. The sadness in the air disappeared with his single comment. Though, you wish you could have known where it would have went with Gar after the hug, just what he would have had to say if anything. But you won't complain for a good laugh.

"So, back at it tomorrow night?" Jason asks, cornered smirk at you.

"Fuck yeah." You agree and Gar lets out a defeated sigh. He can tell you two are going to cause trouble together.

"Can I come? Since I know about it now." Gar asks. Maybe he wants to be the look out or help. Or maybe he wants to be there in case Jason gets carried away, not that he thinks he will, but just in case, of course. Or maybe it's just as simple as Gar wanting to hang around you some more.

"I'm cool, you?" You ask Jason.

"Yeah, of course, man." Jason nods at Gar and they do say they're best friends but this is the first you’re actually getting see it. You think it's cute.

"Awesome, I'm gonna go to bed then, you guys?" You ask.

"Yeah," Gar nods with wide eyes as he stands up.

You give Jason a cornered look and Jason would normally stay up, just a little longer. There's no such thing as too much training. But, you did have an eventful night and maybe he could go for a little more rest tonight.

"Yeah, alright." Jason gets up from his spot and the three of you walk to your rooms.

Jason gives you both a quick "night" before heading into his room and shutting the door, leaving Gar and you. Jason can take a hint. Now, it's just Gar and you, standing outside your room and neither of you are sure why. You're going to bed but you opening up makes Gar feel closer to you. He'll never understand what you went through but he can try. He can be there if you need him to even if it's just to scream or sit in silence. It doesn't bother him either way. And you like how calm he makes you. No one's ever been very good at that. You’ve always had a fire about you and he calms it, not dampens it, just calms it. You like the way your stomach flips when he smiles at you and how much he listens. The only thing, you wish he would stop with the sad eyes but maybe he will now that he knows everything. Maybe, hopefully.

"Okay, I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight, Gar." Your smile splits your face as you open your door, waving at him softly.

"Goodnight, Y/n." Gar says as he starts to walk off but before you close your door, he turns around. "If you, uh, can't sleep or have a nightmare...." Gar pauses not really knowing how to phrase it without it sounding presumptuous.

"Gotcha." You finish, holding a honey-like smile. "Thank you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Gar sucks in a breath and this time, you both go to your rooms, doors closing behind you.

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