#i am so mad it was that easy and i was too dumb to realise that sooner lmao

[fivewholeminutes]

So. Mister vessel the fourth has this. How do i call it. Keychain(?) hanging from his sleeve sometimes. With some tmbte runes. And it's pink, which is totally irrelevant to this post, but i felt the need to mention that. (Edit: people have told me it's actually red, but hey. Thank you, stage lighting, for making it look pink.) I could never find a photo clear enough to read them though. So I've done some serious CSI work to decipher them. AND THEY JUST SAY 'WORSHIP', BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY DO.

Bonus: he has another one with "IV" on the other sleeve. Personally i think it's endearing.

My struggles under the cut

I've tried editing the black and white photo above on my phone, trying to make it more clear and this is what i've got lmao

I've made it hella grainy but hey, at least i could (more or less) see the outline of some of the runes (and make up some new ones in the process lol). Idk why the doodles added later got also saved grainy...

Then I've checked the alphabet for possible choices

And realised it's just 'WORSHIP'. Weeks of asking myself what could that be. And it's. JUST THE EASIEST THING TO GUESS.

Initially i thought there's less letters, but nope. It's 7. It's worship.

[aliveahahafuck]

So, random funny things that happened at larp this weekend:

I was NPCing as a crab, and at one point, one of the owners, who was also a crab, got this absolute Cheshire grin and ran OOG towards a light post that has been designated as the portal between cities/places within the different larp guilds (ie between all other games put on by guilds within the Underword universe). As more of us saw that and realised what he was doing as soon as we went down, we joined him. And as Crabs were still joining the group, he just started chanting, "COMING THROUGH THE SKEIN GATE: ONE", a few people join him chanting, "COMING THROUGH THE SKEIN GATE: TWO", and finally there's eight of us yelling the chant and at 3, we all shuffle out of the portal and all I hear from a player is "WHO THE FUCK PAID THE FEE FOR 8 CRABS TO GO THROUGH THE SKEIN GATE!?!?!?! THAT'S SO MUCH GOLD?!?!" (Someone who no longer has a crab problem, obviously. Lmao)

I fell asleep at a picnic table because A: the sun was warm, B: it was peaceful listening to the people chat beside me, and C: it was like 11 am and I'd only been up for two hours but had been exhausted the whole time. Except I wasn't completely sleeping, I was in the half awake state you get where you can hear ahit going on around you, but actually processing basically nothing. Because of that, I heard one of the people who I'd been chatting with say, "Should we wake her? There's demons coming." Only to hear what felt like seconds later:

"Hello there, what have we here?"

"It's a nature's hold. Wild animals can't see us."

"I see. And your friend?"

"Ehhhhh, she might be dead, might be sleeping, we're not too sure."

"Okay then, I'll leave you too whateverthis is." (Footsteps as they walk away)

"I can't believe that worked."

"Me neither."

They did end up waking me up and I chatted with them a bit before I fell asleep again for what felt to me like max 30 seconds, but according to my friend was more like 5-7 minutes and was woken up by a familiar voice saying: "Here. This is for you."

And I raise my head and see a hand placing an orange directly in front of me, I look up to the owner of the hand, and it's my best friends uncle, one of the owners of the guild, dressed as a demon with about 4 others and I just kinda blue screen and just say "thank you???" And they all walk off.

Once they're back in plot camp (a cabin a couple meters away but far enough to be out of earshot), I turned to the people beside me and just go: "he gave me an orange? What the fuck do I do with it? I'm not eating the demon orange?"

The consensus was do not trust the suspicious fruit.

(I found out later that he stole it from the player who runs an alchemy shop and also sells snacks; "he took it as he walked by and at first I was mad, but then I realised that demon just took the cheapest item in my shop; I'm going to take that as a compliment.")

Also, the demons just wanted coffee.

I also found out that while I was sleeping, the bottom of my WOOL cloak had fallen off my lap. I was sitting at a picnic table that had an ever growing puddle around it as the day went on. The fucker wasn't dry by the time I got home a day and a half later.

Lil while later, and I, once again, was fucking exhausted. I ended up going into the tavern and just laid down across one of the pew style benches that lined the walls (10/10 wouldn't recommend. Sitting up at the picnic table was better) and took off my belt, which had a few leather bags attached, to use as a pillow. Partly because I wasn't dumb enough to leave them as easy access and lose my shit, partly because the bench was so thin that I wouldn't have been able to comfortably lay down with the one on my back.

The tavern was FUCKING LOUD. Like, holy shit how did I sleep for 1.5 hours with that racket going on, loud.

I don't remember like 95% of what went on, but the things I do remember are someone saying "shit. There's bears outside." Followed quickly by "HOLY SHIT THE BEARS HAVE MAGIC"

And when, I'm assuming, the battle was over, the shopkeeper player yelling out a window, "I'm selling (healing potions), and they're really cheap~~"

Some time later, about an hour into this nap, I'd sat up, stared into the middle distance for a bit, then walked across the tavern to where I'd left my cloak and over vest above a heater to dry, put on the vest, took my cloak threw it down onto of my "pillow" and immediately went back to sleep for another 30 min.

Sunday, I was chatting with a friend when a npc gnome came over and challenged him to an arm wrestling contest. I was also friends with the person playing the npc. The guy I was originally talking to activated a magic item that made him stronger mid competition, to which the gnome activated a "gnomish device" anti magic field and won the contest. At which point he stopped and looked at me:

"You didn't have any magical items on you, right? Or potions?"

"Uhhhh, yeah. I had a potion of purify in my bag."

"Shit. Well, now you don't. It's just water."

He looked so upset that he'd fucked over my potion and he gave me blacksmithing materials as compensation.

It literally took all of 5 minutes for me to get a new potion, for free, because I knew who'd made them, and he knew I play a healer lmao

vlater i volunteered to go grab someone's staff from our cabin. As I'm walking across the central field, all I hear is: "LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU! CRABS!"

I turned to see the person who was playing the gnome, now a crab, just hauling ass b-lining towards me across the field. As previously stated, I'm a healer, a squishy as fuck, lvl 4 healer. I quickly turned and bolted, unlocked the cabin, flung the door open, slammed it shut behind me, and grabbed the staff I was sent to get in the first place. Seconds later the crab opened the door and saw me, this 5foot fuck all human holding this 7foot long staff grinning like a Cheshire cat: "activate magic item: sigil of the weapons master. 7 MAGIC! 7 MAGIC!-"

I like to call that staff "overkill: the weapon" lmao

The owner of it: "it costs 3 gold to borrow it. Unless you're so tiny that it looks ridiculous, then it's free."

I fell into the "Hilariously tiny" group, but also the "we're playing the same rareish race, and we stick together" group lol

After a huge battle where like 9 people died:

"I'm so not getting that staff back. There's no way it survived."

"That's unfortunate, I liked killing crabs with it."

"Yeah, that's always fun, even if its so overkill for them."

(5 minutes later I come running into the tavern again)

"MORE PEOPLE SURVIVED, THEYRE HEADING BACK NOW! (People start excitedly leaving) also, your staff survived."

"IT WHAT"

"It's coming back! I saw Wolfgreir (who had it before the battle) without it and was happy that at least he survived, and then I saw it being carried through the bush, Jaylin (main healer) has it!"

"No way. I was sure it was gone!"

"I can't believe it either."

[paperstorm]

I think most people think all gaslighting is malicious but it doesn't need to be. Gaslighting (especially when it's cultural) can be done unconsciously or unintentionally, or perhaps even intentionally with an awareness of impacting the other person but not realising that the impact is harmful.

For example - when you try to express an unpopular opinion but it's just dismissed or people behave like they can't understand how or why you could possibly think that, even when you try to explain. Imo ppl often react like that because they don't WANT to put in the effort to understand or deal with the discomfort of a new/unusual idea. They probably don't mean to criticise your intellectual capabilities but if it happens for long enough or often enough, it's easy to begin thinking "I must be dumb/stupid, I must have bad taste, etc."

Another example is when you're trying to get your point across but the other person disagrees with you by addressing everything else except the key point you're making. For example, with the Carlos situation, if someone says "I dislike his s4 plotline cz it doesn't fit properly with the earlier seasons", the general response (not including you in this) is "oh but it's totally possible for someone of his background to do what he did". Um yeah, but that wasn't the point? The point was that the show messed up the execution of a perfectly plausible storyline. But the execution is never addressed generally, instead the discussion is repeatedly directed to the motivations of the character. Which leads to the feeling of "am I shouting into the void? can ppl not hear me? am I stupid for thinking this when most others don't even think the problem exists? etc etc"

Sorry to go off on a rant about this in your inbox. But if always drives me up the wall when people get offended about words like "consent" and "gaslighting" being used, just because they don't realise that there's levels to those concepts.

I think that you're right, there certainly are levels. And some of the things you described could fall under the larger umbrella of the term depending on the specific circumstances. I think people get their hackles up pretty quick tho because gaslighting is a very specific term. It describes a method of emotional abuse where someone's sense of reality is repeatedly called into question in order to gain psychological power over them. It is manipulation with the intent of making them completely vulnerable to their abuser because they can't trust their own mind anymore. And The Internet™ (sweeping generalization, I know) seems to have somewhat decided it is actually a catch-all term that applies to things like any time someone said something that doesn't reflect your perspective or whenever someone disagreed with you and didn't immediately acquiesce when you demanded they change their mind. So people are, understandably, going to be pretty instantly offended if you accuse them of intentional emotional abuse when what you really mean is "you're kind of being a dick."

There is all kinds of dickish behaviour that doesn't qualify as gaslighting, like being dismissive or being unnecessarily rude or arguing with a point someone wasn't making (people do this to me all the time on here so I feel you on that one. The whole "I like mozzarella cheese" "oh so you HATE CHEDDAR???" phenomenon. It is endlessly frustrating when someone is putting words into your mouth and getting mad at you for something you didn't say. It is an unkind and lazy and bad faith way to interact with someone. But that doesn't necessarily make it gaslighting.) Things go both ways, too. People are allowed to just straight up disagree with you and not be interested in taking the time to understand your position. Like it would be nice if they were willing to hear you out and be open to a different perspective, but you aren't entitled to demand that they do so and they aren't being abusive if they don't want to, especially over something as ultimately inconsequential as a difference in fictional character interpretation. People can just say 'I don't agree' or 'I don't see it that way' and move on. Idk. I see what you're saying, I honestly do. And I can see how that would be super frustrating and lead to not a very nice fandom experience. But it's just really complicated.

[dyedcomrade]

tw: dark, transph0bia, vi0lence, kind of unrequited love, cheating mention but a side character that doesnt exist canonically does it, gore additional tw: chris is dumb

reminder: i do this because i myself am trans and it's insane out here, especially knowing i wont get gender affirming therapy ever. i do this because i project myself onto almost every resi man i find hot. blocc, dont report. i dont support irl transphobia.

the fucking plane. fucking Chris. Wesker doesn't have time to get to uroboros, Chris tackles him before, straddling him and starting to beat him up spewing out profanities at him.

and in the heat of the moment the tought just slips out:

he tells Wesker he is an abomination and no matter how much he riots against biology he will always stay mortal and cant change the core of him which will always make her a woman.

and Wesker just fucking breaks. having to be lied to his entire life by some mad scientists and people thinking he is the same - he just wants to save the world! can't they see? how humanity is running towards their own destruction?

then the heartbreak he had realising he has to betray his team. chris not getting the fucking hint ever - why did he let him stay alive for so long? it would have been so easy to kill him, but he gave the boy so many chances to see his vision, to join.

despite all his efforts, decades of work, his dream being stolen from him.

first he degrades him by saying he is just one of umbrella's leftovers. and now ripping away all of his humanity, his identity, just like umbrella did.

going through files, he and Jill were in the Spencer estate, they found out Wesker is trans. the wording too in those files were strange, not stating Albert is his name, rather "refering to him as from then on". rather medical documents proved it as well and a brief mention in one of the diaries they found. at that time or maybe it's just Chris, transness was really something he couldn't grasp. of course he doesn't think it's on the same level as b.o.w.s,

Wesker goies into a panic attack. now is one of the rare occasions Chris realises he went too far. he may not get exactly what was it, but..Wesker always stood up whenever they tried to mess with his plans.

the feeling is new for Chris as well. until now one of his main motivation was to show his former boss just how capable he is, how his resolve is just as worthy as the older man's. this thing that kept lingering in his mind, even after he saw Wesker die before him. 'what could he be doing right now? maybe he isn't dead. maybe a miracle happened. someone other than them from the s.t.a.r.s. team made it out alive and searched for him, brought him to the hospital.' he could't grasp what this strange attachment he felt could be. he tought of love sometimes. and even more about what his friends reaction would be if he came out gay. he once had a high school romance, although it was kind of unrequited even though they put a label on themselves. the girl kept declining every one of his offers to hang out and he was only good for feeding her ego. in the end while Chris was away in a sports camp she cheated on him and lost her virginity with a guybin a one-night stand. since then he couldn't trust anyone enough to feel love towards them. sure he knew what comradery was and he always was a trustworthy friend but those butterflies upon seeing the other never returned.

but he expected Wesker to always show up somewhere along his fight against bioterrorism. he expected that in some way he always came out losing from these encounters. he looked forward to the next challenge this terrorist would give him, the sheer power of the two against eachother. always trying to beat some sense into the blonde, despite all his previous efforts failing. although he didn't expect their fighr to end anytime. it was impossible, yes, but what would they do then? did one of them have to die for it to end? maybe, he had hope that one day they could see eye to eye.

here they were, sadly, only the literaly sense of it and..the sorrow that he could see on Wesker's face..it broke his heart. was it over? what happens now? he felt just as lost as the man he just destroyed his life's work. in a sense Chris' life was over too. all this time he had been rebelling. at home, in the military, even in s.t.a.r.s. he was known for his thick skull.

he wanted comfort and wanted to give Wesker cimfort too. he didn't want to see this untouchable little god to cry.

he reached down and touched that red and puffy face. all the damage he can take without breaking a sweat and crying is what makes it an unrecognisable mess. he wipes the tears and blood away from his face, stroking it gently. then, as if it comes naturally, without thinking, like he has done this a thousand times before, he leans down and kisses his forehead.

Wesker is exhausted. he lets Chris throw in as many punches as he wants - let the boy have his enrichment. he will have to build another empire from the ground again. at least now he knows what they are doing and it needs a lot less experimentation. maybe some samples of uroboros remained intact..but now that he lets the outside world in, the punches have stopped. sure there is still someone sitting on top of him, but..why did he..? and he feels it. a gentle hand on his face. it's so unfamiliar. noone ever touched him like this. maybe he is hallucinating and Chris had managed to beat his brain into mush. not that it matters. his regeneration abilities can't be outmatched. a kiss? definitely brain damage. what he really feels is his frontal cortex oozing out.

- hey, i'm..i'm sorry. i didn't want us to end up like this. we may have gone too far with blowing your shit up.

is this really happening? his former pointman.. although it sure can be Chris. not realising what he fucked up is just like him.

Wesker puts his hand on Chris' thigh and taps it three times. he pats out just like old times when training with his agents. an ingrained response to this maybe, or Chris is really bad at risk assessment - he could still snap his neck in a heartbeat, still - he gets off and sits beside Wesker. the older man stays on the ground, his hand never leaving the other, holding onto those dirty cargo pants as if they were the only thing in his life he could cling onto. for sanity, a reason to keep going, for a chance to start over. but maybe now he didn't have to do it alone. or didn't even have to do it. terrorists could retire, right?

- you.. are so dumb...cretin. i have an apartment away from here in eastern-europe. wanna retreat, soldier?

[hexdsl]

Writing tools - in reply

In reply to a recent question I was asked, in real life, by a human I realised that there is a perception that I change writing tools a lot. The common video of me is that I move between tools enough that every time I am asked, it appears I have more to add.

In truth, this simply isn’t true.

This is the workflow of my main writing tool:

Vim → Scrivener → Word

Vim was what I started in, because I used Vim a lot already and knew how to move around quickly. I didn’t yet realise the reasons that people work with very large documents used word processors. As soon as I did, I wanted something technical because I was already using Vim. I landed on Scrivener (which is excellent btw! Zero hate! great tool!) Ultimately, my tinkerer mindset lead me to mess with the software more than actually write. In the end, a good quality hole to put words into was all I really wanted; I ended up following the common wisdom of just using Word.

Then there is the path of my ‘support tooling’ - spellcheckers, grammar tools, thesaurus, and others

Grammarly → Pro Writing Aid

Along the way, I came to reply on WordHippo.com extensively.

I simply found PWA to be a better tool than Grammarly, not because Grammarly is bad, but because PWA is better. No bad choice there, not really. I did mess with LanguageTool for a bit. I found inconsistent, overall.

The one tool that I have moved around a lot with is my notes.

A text file (Markdown) → One Note → Evernote → Notion

The traditional ‘nerd’ logic of just using a text file formatted in markdown only took me so far before I lost track of it. Now, when you realise that I keep a ‘dossier’ on each character I create, every piece of technology I invent (from a writing point of view) every location, lore, tool and idea. The Denouement notes file alone is about 300 pages. On top of that I have Hunter’s Garden notes. And then there are the three planned novels I have started writing up.

That’s without the many notes relating to my actual life. There are hundreds of those too.

Over all, I use notes a lot. The text file soon became a little unmanageable. My requirements were simple. I wanted something hosted, not self hosted. I am an idiot and will lose anything I am left in charge of without fail.

I was already paying for Office, so One Note seemed obvious. It lost a bunch of things… which made me mad. I lost faith in it and went to Evernote.

Evernote was great, loved it but it was a little visually unsatisfying and put some odd limits of how deep I could go with sub-notes. I had already bounced on Notion more than once.

Eventually, after being told for the ten millionth time how great Notion was, I gave it another try. This time, I landed on it so hard that it power’s HexDSL.com and Trendy.HexDSL.com.

I am very happy with notion. It’s missing a few features, like, I can’t send emails to it and its tag system is a little wonky (imo) but it offers reliable syncing and it’s so easy to use that I feel like it’s magic.

In the end, my writing tools are this:

Word

ProWitingAid (I use the plug-in)

Word Hippo

Notion

I came to these pieces of software via testing and trialling. Nothing I use is a default simply because it’s well known or because it’s obvious. I’m a technical person and after much testing, I have fallen down on software that’s incredibly mainstream.

The perception that I obsess over the tool’s rather than actually writing isn’t true. Heck, I have my second book this year coming out in December. I do the writing but I make YouTube videos about the tools because I love testing them. It’s been a long time now since I have been tempted away from Word.

I wish someone would bake Word Hippo into Word with an addon or something because the built-in tool is shocking. 😞

Also, its worth mentioning, and not for the first time that being committed to a tool is dumb! If something come’s along thats better than Word, ill Crtl+a and then Ctrl+v into the new thing because there is no lock-in with text, other than that which you inflict on yourself.

Word is fucking great though!

[kpophubb]

🤍 Enhypen x Reader 🤍

ʜʏᴜɴɢ ʟɪɴᴇ: ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴄᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛᴀʟʟʏ ᴄʀᴀsʜ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴠʟɪᴠᴇ

♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡

ᘜᗴᑎᖇᗴ: 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚔, 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚛, 𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙

---------------------------♲︎㋛————————————-

♧︎ℍ𝕖𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕦𝕟𝕘 :~

𐂂 “Heyyy I’m home” you gasp as you unlock the door to his apartment and finally shove the heavy grocery bags aside. Unable to hear any response from your boyfriend heeseung, you start looking for him around the house to find out if he’s actually home or not.

𐂂 you open the door to his gaming room and finally find him infront of the computer and burst smiling “so you’re here! You playin games hee?? “ you say chuckling at your cute boyfriend’s excited face as he stares at you wide eyed.

𐂂 now the reason why he was staring at you with his doey bambi eyes was not because you crashed his vlive but because he was so happy to see his girl as he missed you so much. He forgets he’s live seeing your pretty face, focusing only on your cuteness. (What a doting boyfie)

𐂂 you’re standing by the door when he throws his arms around you, gesturing you to come and exclaims “aww baby you’re finallyyyyy home🥺”

𐂂 you being completely oblivious of his vlive take your step forward meaning to return his hug when he suddenly turns his head in shock and withdraws his arms, looking at the screen with his mouth agape. “What…the…?” He thinks to himself as he realized he was dumb enough to forget he was recording himself.

𐂂 he knows there’s no way out now bc he’s the one who addressed you as baby and proceeded to hug you and you were just innocently responding to him. Thrown off course with his confused expression, you ask him what’s wrong, still standing inches away from the screen.

𐂂 heeseung probably thinks he’s gonna get scolded first before thinking anything else as your relationship is top priority private secret lol. But since he’s already disclosed the big catch, he doesn’t really fret that much. After all, sooner or later people were gonna know anyway.

𐂂 hence, he finally decides to use this opportunity to introduce his beautiful girl to the world who he’s very proud and lucky to have. ♡︎

𐂂 he smiles at you, easing the tension in the room and gestures you to come and sit beside him. You sit down, finally realising the awkward situation and gasp in surprise. He pats your hair and proceeds to say to the people how you’ve been his girlfriend for a while now and how much he loves you!! “She’s so pretty engenes, isn’t she?” He says looking at you with blind admiration.

𐂂 heeseung is quick to notice your unease and shyness as you’re worried about him getting in trouble because of this and also cause his loving tone is embrassing you. So he brushes your shoulders to assure you it’s gonna be fine with a “I love you” look plastered in his eyes <3

♧︎𝕁𝕒𝕪:~

𖠌 you enter the house after coming home from shopping and yell immediately“jay ah I’m homeeee ~~” while looking for your boyfriend whose voice you could hear in the next room.

𖠌 as soon as he hears your voice he Immediately panics thinking how you might accidentally crash his live. Your footsteps grow closer and your voice gets louder, and his whole dang body tenses up.

𖠌 his eyes suddenly fall on a comment that’s written in bold “JAY OPPA WHO IS THE GIRL CALLING YOU??!”

𖠌 he tries to casually brush aside the question by stammering and saying “oh her? She’s my cousin sister”, laughing nervously.

𖠌 well speak of the devil. There you stand as you flung open the door and both of your eyes cross.

𖠌 so your dumbass thought he was video calling some friend or a girl and lied to him/her about your relationship as it was easy to mistake his live for a phone call since he was doing his vlive on his phone. That too, super casually and normally dressed up.

𖠌 you grow really upset and come infront of the screen unknowingly as you complain in a mad tone “baby who are you talking to? And why are you lying when I’m clearly not your cousin and am your girlfr-“

𖠌Oh my god, you finally notice the live bar and viewer count on the screen. You stare at the screen with big, shocked eyes before looking at him apologetically. You immediately pace out of the room, hoping the last few seconds would magically be erased from everyone’s memory.

𖠌 Jay doesn’t even look at the screen afterwards. His palms fly to his forehead, covering it out of frustration because you just messed up really badly but he smiles almost the next second because he found your silliness undeniably cute. “How silly yet adorable” he thinks inside his head~ (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

𖠌 he leaves his chair and goes out in the living room to grab you. He forces you back inside the screen and positions you in a chair next to him before looking back at the screen, comments GOING WILD.

𖠌 “okay guys I’m sorry for lying but here. This is my super dumb yet super cute girlfriend y/n” he says with a poker face. He laughs as you display a very nervous and guilty yet shy smile.

𖠌 jay is not the type to show much affection in a live cause he finds that showy and cheesy but he will pull your chair close to his and look at you and smile with heart eyes that will erase your guilt and make you fall in love with your boyfriend’s sweet smile all over again <3

♧︎𝕁𝕒𝕜𝕖:~

♧︎ 𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕙𝕠𝕠𝕟:~

☃︎ as you wake up from your evening nap and fail to find your boyfriend beside you in your shared bed, you immediately start looking for him with half lidded eyes and messy bed hair. “Sunghoonie…..did you leave already?” You whine in a sleepy tone as you lazily drag yourself around the house looking for him.

☃︎ he freezes up as soon as he hears your voice bc by your tone it’s evident that you’ve just woken up and are completely ignorant of his current vlive.

☃︎ as you keep getting close to the room he’s conducting his live in, his nervousness doubles and triples while his whole body stiffens up from fright.

☃︎You finally find him and open the door to his room trying to barge inside when you feel his shocked and heavy gaze clouding the whole atmosphere. You’re confused and totally oblivious of what’s going on or what caused him to react this way.

☃︎ sunghoon literally panics and gets up WITH FLASH SPEED, thanking the lord that you’ve not gotten inside the room yet. He legit tries to shove you out of the room and close the door on your face as he whispers shakily “get. Out. I’m. Live. Right. Now.”

☃︎ you come to your senses and immediately catch up, panicking way more by seeing the terror in his face and run back towards your room.

☃︎ sunghoon is a really obvious person. We know he can’t hide his feelings with his facial expressions really well (like the times he EVIDENTLY gets jealous about heejake and Yunki). Thus, when he sits down back on the chair, he starts seeing comments from people who realized you were his gf because he was being really obvious when he tried to desperately scoot you out of the room.

☃︎”SUNGHOONIE OPPA IS THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND?! “ “WHO WAS THE GIRL JUST NOW?” “WHY DID YOU SHOVE HER OUT OF THE ROOM BEFORE SHE EVEN GOT IN?” “OMG SUNGHOON HAS A GIRLFRIEND.” comments started running w i l d.

☃︎He knew he couldn’t hide it anymore no matter how much he tries and sighs and covers his face from embarrassment and his own i d i o c y. He just pretty much himself spilled the tea about his relationship. *heavier sigh* he opens his mouth to say sth to withdraw the comments of the people who caught onto the truth but when he realizes it’s a futile attempt, he closes his mouth and stares at the screen blankly for minutes. He doesn’t know what to do. Ending the live or running away from it would make it even more obvious.

☃︎ therefore, he decides to bring you in the frame and introduce you to engenes in a hope that this would simmer the situation down and prevent weird controversies that would blow Twitter up after this live if he doesn’t talk about the situation properly.

☃︎ he forces you back in the room the same way he forced you out of the room a while ago (XD) this time determined to be honest. You fight in his arms, reluctant to go bc you just woke up and look hideous. Especially when you’re like this next to THE Park sunghoon.

☃︎so he gets you back in the room, holding your hand tightly while he still covers his flushed face with his palms. Y’all finally sit down and he’s awkward and SHY AS HELL.

☃︎ a prolonged period of awkward silence continues. Nervous smiles are exchanged between the two of you, none of you knowing what to do to clean this mess up.

☃︎Until finally he decides to read comments to lighten up the mood and comes across one that says “your girlfriend is so pretty, can I date her instead of you?”

☃︎*Possessive sunghoon mode activated* “no. She’s mine.” He says boldly with a frowned eyebrow pulling you close to him gripping your shoulders.

☃︎You’re so SHY YOU WANNA EXPLODE. 😳

☃︎he looks at your shy smile and gives you the sweetest eye-y smile while giggling and looking away.

☃︎ you guys are just the cute shy couple on vlive that makes everyone go awww. *heart melts* people spam you with lovely comments appreciating how good you loook together. When sunghoon realizes you are feeling insecure about your messy look he brags to the viewers by saying “do you see how pretty y/n looks right after waking up? Wow she’s just as good looking at me😌”he says before laughing. This makes you laugh in turn and drives your nervousness away. He always has his weird ways to notice your unease and make you feel good about yourself <3🥺

☃︎Trust me when his shy phase is over, he’s gonna post your picture on Twitter one day flaunting “pretty girl and her more handsome boyfriend 😎😏” bc it’s our narcissist king park sunghoon AFTER ALL. XD who is definitely in love with you way more than you’re in love with him. 💞 so don’t pout when you see that tweet okay?😆 it’s sunghoon’s way of complementing and teasing his PRETTIEST GIRLL AKA YOU. 🤍

The End

Note: hope y’all enjoyed! Like and reblog to show your appreciation for this fic if you enjoyed it!<3 I was lacking fics for my next masterlist so I decided to write some on my own! Merry Christmas, loveliest engenes 🎅🎄🎁❤️🥺

[cinnamonest]

Bruh. I literally can't do this anymore, since the release ot the trailer my simp level for Scaramouche has gone way too high up. And tiktok absolutely doesn't help. Have you heard him saying "That's it. Just like that." In such a breathy and a borderline moan way? Like, fuck, I swear to god they did that on purpose😩

That also brings me back to topic of a Lambgirl! Darling... I don't know what exactly it is but they suit each other so so well in my opinion, it's not even funny. Unironically, i think that Scaramouche, admittedly, with time, develops the softest spot for you, a thing about himself that he will admit only over his dead body.

The way that you try to genuinely be a good pet for him makes his heart kind of skip a beat when he fully realised that. Maybe that's because he never really had anybody try to approach him with such pure motives. The world is full of ugly snakes that try to hide behind strong people like him or try to earn a favour from a Harbinger by metaphorically (or not) sucking his dick, as he phrases it. So, he's just not used for such simple-mindness. No backhanded meaning, no pretending. Everything is painfully obvious with you and at the end of the long day full of complaining about how you are the dumbest thing existing on this planet, no, u n i v e r s e, in his heart, he doesn't really mind it.

He would never say it out loud, but your genuine feelings towards him somehow warm up his freezing cold soul. He gets used to your clumsiness and the lack of braincells, it almost helps him to bond with you more, since you don't overcomplicate everything and easy to manipulate into loving him more, witch becomes borderline worshiping and, what at the start kinda baffles him, without the torture or some kind of mind control. You're not complaining. You simply accepted him as your master, and as you should in his mind, but it still kinda surprised him in the beginning. You are dependent on him and you don't even try to deny it, to say that it secretly inflates his ego is an understatement.

Once, he saw you as nothing but a potential sex slave with a neat addition of a fluffy tail and cute ears, but then, with the time progressing, it starts to be obvious for everybody that he is different around you. In what way, even he himself doesn't know. For some reason, it's easier to be more honest with you than anybody else, especially when you two are alone.

With time he also gets more comfortable with you intimately. It's kind of funny to think that you tried almost every sex position before even holding hands properly. But, now that he warmed up to you, not every lingering touch means sex. He can just rest his head on the top of your head or a shoulder, lay on your chest, bodies pressed against each other, but the only thing that is happening is that you stroke his hair as he rests from an exhausting day. He can even hug you, saying that he needs to "recharge". It is embarrassing to him how you then proceeded to try to "recharge" him every day since and he doesn't even hate it.

...And i think it's kind of adorable tbh <3

(sorry for the long ask i just needed to rant about our lord and saviour Scaramouche 😔😩 also very sorry for any grammatical errors, and finally, i love your blog, you can take your time on uploading, you don't own us nothing 🖤🖤)

Anon I'm sorry this was from like a month ago but I am LOVING your energy and enthusiasm omg

I am in an angsty feelsy sort of mood so consider: poor boy gets badly beaten up and maybe is on verge of death by some incredibly strong opponent but... little lamb was told to stay back like always in a safe spot from a distance... but she can’t just stand there!! 

Visionless, powerless, weak and frail little lamb sniffling in fear and anger with her ears flat to her head, running to come stand in between giant powerful being and him, trembling and bleating but standing her ground and curling her little hands into fists and yelling that she won’t let them hurt her master!! If they want to get to him, they have to go through her first!! She knows that she can’t do anything other than be a meat shield and ram with those teeny tiny little nubs she calls horns, but still... it’s something, isn’t it?

Thankfully though the utter confusion that makes the enemy halt for a split second gives the incoming Fatui enough time to oneshot the enemy lmao. She just narrowly saves master’s life and is so happy!! He’s super quiet. Doesn’t say anything for a while. Just numbly staring into space, in a weird state of processing that this pitifully dumb thing nearly got herself killed on purpose. Probably actually ends up blowing a fuse later and gets mad, it was stupid and dangerous and to never ever do it again.

In the end though, he quiets down when she gets all sniffly and sorry because she thought she did good. Has to hold her and rub her back and admit yes, maybe it was good. Just... not to be done again.

[engie-ivy]

Remus is the uptight, swotty Prefect who's always getting the popular and beloved troublemakers Black and Potter in detention. Remus doesn't care what people say of him, and he absolutely doesn't care about Black's blinding smile.

A Book By Its Cover

Remus pulls his jumper closer around himself against the draught in the large, empty halls. The corridor is dimly lit and he hears nothing but the sound of his own footsteps. Everything is quiet. Too quite.

A loud clang suddenly sounds from behind one of the tapestries. Remus almost smiles to himself. Bingo. In a swift motion, he pulls away the tapestry.

Startled, Black whirls around. He’s surrounded by what appear to be paint cans and rope. His shock only last a moment, though.

“Lupin!” He exclaims, a beaming smile appearing on his face. “What a pleasant surprise!”

Remus crosses his arms over his chest. He makes an effort to keep a firm expression on his face, to show he’s not affected by Black’s notorious, blinding smile, like everyone else is. “Only pleasant if you like detention. And as for a surprise, I am a Prefect. I am supposed to be here making my rounds. So what are you doing here?”

“Preparing a prank,” Black says simply.

Remus doesn’t know whether he should be insulted Black doesn’t seem to take his authority very seriously, or glad that he doesn’t insult his intelligence by coming up with an excuse.

“Right,” Remus says, before taking out his notebook and pen. “Out of bed after curfew and engaging in illegal activity,” he scribbles down. “And where’s Potter?”

“Aw, am I not enough for you, Lupin?” Black pouts.

“I figured you could use some company in detention,” Remus replies smoothly.

Black clicks his tongue. “So thoughtful.”

“If you’re here setting up some prank, then it’s a given Potter is setting up that prank somewhere else in the school as well. So, where is he?”

Black shakes his head. “For you’re own good, Lupin, you don’t wanna put James in detention right now. People won’t be too pleased with you if the school’s football star misses the upcoming match against Slytherin thanks to you.”

“So thoughtful,” Remus repeats Black’s words, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “But please, don’t concern yourself over me. I’ve never cared what others think of me, and I don’t plan on starting now. And you basically just admitted Potter is currently doing something that would warrant me giving him detention, so you might as well tell me where he is.”

Black sighs. “This is why people call you uptight.”

Remus’ expression hardens. “If people care so much, they should be mad at Potter for risking the football match in the first place by playing some stupid prank.”

Black gasps dramatically and clutches his chest. “Stupid? Our pranks are not stupid! They’re works of art! Jumping out of a cake on miss McGonagall’s birthday? Hilarious! Making a zip line to go from one floor to the other? Brilliant! Filling the gym with stray cats, many of whom were eventually adopted? Genius! People love our pranks. They make people laugh and bring some excitement in their lives. Much needed excitement, because let’s face it, school is boring. Sitting there, listening to old people tell you things you already know.”

“For you maybe,” Remus mutters.

Black scoffs. “Don’t pretend you’re not one of the smartest people in our class, Lupin.”

Remus just glares harder at Black, to show that no, he doesn’t care that Sirius Black, whom people are always falling over themselves for to get even a bit of his attention, has apparently noticed Remus’ academic achievements. No, he doesn’t care at all.

“Even the teachers love our pranks,” Black continues. “They put some life into this place!”

“We’ll see what miss McGonagall has to say about it when I report you tomorrow,” Remus says calmly. “I’ll go finish my rounds, and when I get back, you better have cleaned up this mess.”

As he turns around to leave, Black suddenly grabs his wrist. “Join us!”

“Wha...” Remus turns back, and his traitorous stomach flutters at how close Black is suddenly standing.

“Join us for one prank,” Black says.

Remus blinks at him. “Why in earth would I do that?”

“Because it’s fun! And honestly, Lupin, to me you always look like you can use a bit of fun.”

That catches Remus off guard. It’s true. Between struggling to get top marks, doing everything he can for extra credit, making sure he has a spotless record, excelling at his Prefect duties, and worrying about his sick mother, lately he often feels like just throwing his hands in the air and say ‘screw it all!’, and just do something crazy, something dumb or irresponsible. But he definitely never wanted for Black to notice that.

“Come on, Lupin,” Black says, as Remus stays silent. “Be part of the fun for once, instead of putting a damper on it.”

“Your childish pranks aren’t my idea of fun,” Remus bites back, feeling himself getting defensive.

Black just grins. “You won’t know that unless you join us for just one prank!”

“Why would you even want me to join you?” Many people would be lining up to be a part of one of Black and Potter’s infamous pranks. It’s beyond Remus why Black would ask that one stuffy guy who puts them in detention almost every week.

“Because I like you,” Black shrugs. “I like how hard you work for everything and how you don’t care what anyone thinks of you. And I think you secretly have a talent for it,” he adds with a wink, that absolutely does not make Remus’ knees go weak. “I bet you have a wicked side to you underneath all that swotty stuff.”

“But I’m a Prefect!” Remus argues. “I’m supposed to discipline rule-breakers, not break them myself!”

Black rolls his eyes. “You shouldn’t take that job so serious.”

This rubs Remus the wrong way. “Not everyone can afford to treat everything in life as a joke,” he says coolly.

Black folds his arms over his chest and stares. “A fancy title and a badge and suddenly you’re better than us?”

“It’s nothing like that!”

Black huffs. “Then why is that bogus job so important to you?”

“Because some of us can’t afford to have even one note on their record if they ever want to get anywhere in life!” Remus snaps. “Because some of us need perfect scores and every bit of extra credit they can get if they want universities not to immediately bin their applications! Because some of us don’t have a last name they can flaunt, a daddy who can make a phone call, a mommy who can throw some money around, and suddenly you’re top of the list! Because some of us can’t just look at their rich parents and rely on them to always give them everything they want!”

The change in Black is instant. He takes a step back, and instead of his usual easy smile and bright eyes sparkling with mischief, his face becomes an ice-cold mask. “Fuck you, Lupin,” he hisses. “You don’t know a thing about me.”

He pushes past Remus as he storms off, leaving him behind feeling very confused. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Yes, the system is unfair and Black is privileged, but Remus supposes that isn’t really Black’s fault. He knows Black isn’t actually a bad person. His heart is in the right place, and he’s usually kind, only ever mean to people who, quite frankly, deserve it.

Remus just wishes Black would stop with those bloody pranks.

Remus just wishes Black would continue with those bloody pranks.

Or do anything really that makes him seem more like his old self. Remus never thought he’d miss that loud, barking laugh, that infuriating smirk, those lame puns so much.

Ever since everyone returned from Christmas break, Black has completely withdrawn. He hardly talks to anyone, he just sits silently, his eyes staring off in the distance and his expression blank. Potter is always by his side, softly talking to him or just throwing him worried glances.

Since then, it has been the talk of the school, and even in the papers and on the news: Sirius Black has been removed from his parents’ custody. It was a messy affair, the police has even been involved. Black’s father was arrested on grounds of child abuse. Apparently, Orion Black, the noble and well-respected patriarch of the prestigious Black family, has a habit of beating his son. It must’ve been going on for a while, but over the break it escalated. People just can’t get over how Sirius Black’s life wasn’t as perfect as it always seemed to be.

Remus feels bad for Black, and especially feels like an idiot, having said the things he said. He knows he owes Black an apology. It has been a couple of weeks since the break ended, and the apology is beginning to be long overdue. Though he also knows that Black has probably not been waiting for an apology from the uptight twat that always gets him detention.

Maybe it’s more to ease his own consciousness that he hesitantly approaches the table where Black is sitting. Potter glares at him the moment he sees him, and half gets out of his seat, probably to tell him to piss off, and rightfully so. However, after a quick glance at Black’s face, who’s looking up at Remus, he sits back down, as if he sees something on his friend’s face that makes him chance his mind.

“Bla- Sirius,” Remus says, realising a tad late that Sirius might nor want to be reminded of his family name right now. “I’m sorry,” he blurts out. “I said some shitty things to you, and I shouldn’t have. You were right, I didn’t know anything about you.”

“It’s okay,” Sirius says softly. “You had good reason to be angry, it’s a rather fucked up system. And you didn’t know. Didn’t know that I would’ve gladly given up all that privilege to just have parents who... who love me...”

Sirius’ voice falters and he trails off. Potter is staring at him wide-eyed, and also Remus is surprised. He knows Sirius hasn’t talked about it to anyone, and he feels almost guilty he’s saying it to him of all people. He’s also surprised at the overwhelming urge he has to pull Sirius into a hug, hold him and tell him they never deserved him anyway. He has to leave before he does anything stupid.

“I should go,” Remus says quickly. “If there’s ever anything I can do...”

As he turns around to leave, Black suddenly grabs his wrist. “Join us!”

Remus turns back to look at him.

“Join us for one prank.”

“Why would you want me to join you?” Remus asks, much like the first time.

“Because I like you,” Sirius replies, much like the first time, only where he had then sounded nonchalant and slightly amused, he now sounds pleading and vulnerable.

“Yeah,” Remus says hoarsely, because his Prefect duties suddenly don’t seem so important compared to helping Sirius come back to his old self. “Yeah, I’ll join you for one prank.”

And then the most amazing thing happens: for the first time in weeks, Sirius Black smiles. It’s only a small smile, but the room already seems a bit brighter. In a moment of vivid clarity, Remus knows that there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make that boy smile.

[sailorhyunjinz]

I always wonder how skz would react to an s/o with a LARGE SEX DRIVE SHSBDBS idk like guys r usually super horny but imagine if u were hornier than them HAHA

BRRRAH QUICK REACTION POST!

warnings: mostly dom!skz x gn!reader. impact play, nicknames, hickies, masturbation, exhibitionism, overstimulation, slight dacryphilia, sex toys, daddy kink, riding, degradation, dumbification. 

Bangchan: 

The thing is not that he wouldn’t like it,,, more like he would be tired?

Sure,,, he has good stamina but he would more prefer longer sex sessions that are more intimate and romantic rather than a bunch of quickies.

but thats like... 95% of the time, the remaining 5% is dicking you down so hard you won’t be able to walk because “you asked for it, you dumb fuck”

BUT THATS RARE

you would really have to get him worked up in order for that to work

and even then he would only go for maybe 2 rounds

“c-chan... one more time~” you said after cumming for the third time that night. “y/n, arent you sleepy?” he says, chuckling. you shake your head, “just one more time!” you say all giddy to which bangchan sighed. 

Minho:

ok now hear me out, im not gonna mix astrology in here,,, but i am going to mix astrology in here lmao

this boy a scorpio

a scorpio

meaning his intimate parts rule over his body (JUST SAYING TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT)

so he loves this. A LOT

any opportunity to be inside of you he’ll take

he’s hella horny and would like a s/o that matches that aura so HEY! fits perfectly (thats what she said)

show any sign of a sexual act and he wont hesitate to slam you against a table

legit as small as licking a lollipop 

“stop that unless you want my dick in your throat” he says, not even looking up from his phone as the sounds of you sucking a lollipop fills the room. you don’t stop, no, you go even harder. he looks up from his phone. “is that a yes?”

Changbin:

ahh... binnie binnie is head over heals for this

he finds it extremely hot that you initiate the sex most of the time

it shows that you really want him 

and he likes attention and feeling appreciated so this works

also has kind of a firey attitude

meaning that he gets worked up real quick

just like minho it doesnt take much for him to notice your sexual signs

“binnie~ i need you” you whisper in his ear as he’s working on something on his computer. you drag your lips across his neck and nibble on his ear before he turns around and glares at you with dark eyes. “princess/prince wanna play that game huh?”

Hyunjin:

shy to initiate so this makes it easier for him 

his stamina is relativly high

but i feel like there would be kiiind of a gap between the two of you since he’d be completely exhausted after a couple of rounds but you beg for more.

leaving him with no other choice but to give it to you

since he loves you too much to say no ><

i feel like he’d make fun of you for it 

LMAO I DONT KNOW WHY BUT JUST HE’D FIND IT FUNNY THAT YOU’RE ALWAYS SO DESPERATE

“hyunjin,, please!” you says in the nicest tone you could muster but only being mocked by hyunjin copying you in an annoying voice

“HyUnJiiinNn~” you burst into laughter, hitting him playfully on the shoulder. “thats what you sound like y/n!!”

but nah most of the time he will take it but always with some playfulness first. 

Jisung:

HORNY TEENAGER JISUNG AGENDA

all the time

no matter where or when

some of yall are about to be real mad at me but it must be said HASHAHAH STOP CHER STOP

he just gives me this hormonal teenager vibe

and so there’s a lot of fucking in a lot of unconventional places

simply because his angel wants it

it even borders to him being even hornier than you but you find joy in that

you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve caught him watching porn or masturbating BECAUSE IT HAPPENED OFTEN

and everytime it would lead to heated sex that could last for hours

“h-help me y/n! dont just stand there s-staring” he says, blushing a bit as he openly strokes his dick infront of you. you shrug your shoulders, closing the bedroom door and inching closer to the warm boy.

Felix:

tough one to read... hmmm.... 

honestly he wouldn’t mind

sure he’d be tired 

and therefore he’d rather prefer seeing you ride a dildo or something

because then you’re satisfied and he doesnt have to do much

NOT THAT HE’S LAZY

just that he likes to cuddle and chill more than being inside of you all the time

he’s sensitive which has its pros and cons

pro: easy to get horny

con: easily overstimulated

WHICH SURE you’d find it fun to torture him by keeping him cumming over and over again

but poor boy would be crying in the end

which only added to your horniness OOP

“y/n,, s-stop please im begging you,, ahhgh..” he moans from underneath you, you putting him through his fourth orgasm which is causing him to shake and cry as you didn’t stop riding him. “mhm... but I wanna cum once more, not fair... you can cum so many times but I can’t! be a good boy and shut up, maybe i’ll let you go after this round”

Seungmin:

giving me that same energy that chan has

but this time instead of 95:5 its more like 65:35

meaning 65% romantic puppy that wants to take his time with you, roaming his hands all over your body and really connecting with you

and the other 35% well... more like relentless pounding, all covered in love bites and hand prints (im drooling)

he becomes all hard dom when he’s stressed and soo...

you get him stressed which ok you feel bad about but... he gets to release all his stress (and cum) on you and you get what you want 

DING DING DING! win-win situation!!

so yeah he would like it most of the time especially when you’re stressed and especially when you’re a brat

turning him on by rubbing on his lap but running away the next second

he likes to make you obey rather than you already obeying. 

he was watching tv peacefully when you suddenly plopped down on his lap, starting to squirm about when watching a tv show. he held you down by the waist. “shh stop” he says once with a bitter tone but you didn’t listen, only continuing to move and feeling his member getting harder. “Is d-daddy getting hard?” you coo at him with a mischievous voice to which seungmin sighed, his hands snaking around your upper body and wrapping around your neck, pushing your back against his chest. “little fucker wanna play with daddy”

oml why did this become so aggressive i have a lot of pent up sexual frustration ASHASHS

Jeongin: 

he’d find it really hot in the beginning

but what he didn’t realise was how tiring sex is 

yk teenagers! learning as they go (i like how im talking about this as if im older than him LMAO)

catch his search history being: “is it normal to have sex everyday” 

he’d be sore :(( 

and when he told you that he probably needed to just cuddle he felt bad because he always wanted to please you

but the two of you would find your ways around it

vibrators EHHEHE

especially those remote control ones

he’d just go ham with those I KNOW IT

because just like felix, you’d be satisfied and he could chill for the time being 

beg pretty enough and he’ll give you the real thing

“b-but i need you now jeongin! stop with that fucking controller!!” you try to snatch it out of his hand but fail. “say please” he says, looking at you with sweet brown eyes. “pl-pleaseeee~!” he melts into a puddle of blushes as he speaks “alright but only because you’re a good one” 

HEY THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN WRITING!! send in sum more, i’ll make them into short reactions like these because my requests for the “official” reactions is closed (will probably open shortly) but YEEEAH 

thank u anon for your very very smart brain and for requesting HEH >< 

also this is not proof read so ignore any mistakes OOP

[remingtonisleithal]

Caught in the Storm

pairing: female!reader x Remington Leith

summary: two besties, being friends, sharing a bed because of a storm, definitely not going to lead to anything more.

warnings: smut, mentions of loneliness, no use of protection (don't be silly, wrap your willy), thigh riding? If you squint sub!remington

author note: if you like this please reblog! also, editing fics in the same room as family is bloody hard. Thank you @bidet-and-legolas for reading it first :)

oh gosh, that smile. He told himself he'd never fall but the moment he spoke to you, it was too late. Remington had fallen for Y/N. Years later, no one knew, but he couldn't keep it to himself for much longer.

You'd just spent the last few hours on his make shift bed on the tour bus, watching movies together. After hours had pasted, he was laying on his back, you were lying on him, back against his chest, and he was wishing that he could just kiss your head, your mouth, all of you. If he was going to make a move, now would be the right time, the guys had gone out for drinks hours ago so you had the bus to yourselves. This way no one would witness the rejection. No, no, he can't think like that. He needs you in his life.

You rolled over to face him more and mumbled a little 'I'm so tired Remi.' You looked at the computer in front of you both and saw it was 11:30pm. The sound of rain thundered down on the bus, as a violent storm began. "Shit, that weather's sounding bad." You were worried to go out into the pouring night. Remington was thinking the same things and said, much more softly than he intended, "Stay?". He coughed a bit and you pushed away the thought that he cared about you more than just a friend. It's just an offer after all, he's not asking you to kiss him... no matter how much you wanted to.

It was then that you realised you were still staring into his beautiful eyes. You wriggled gently to get up, claiming that nature calls and then turning red and regretting saying it instantly. In the small bathroom you hid for a moment, and wondered what to do. Maybe another movie? But you were exhausted and needed to go to sleep. Maybe he wouldn't mind you going to sleep?

"hey Remi?" you asked

"what's up Y/N/N?"

"Do you mind if I have a nap or something? i didn't sleep last night an-"

"Sure, I mean you can stay over if you want. It doesn't look like this storm is leaving." He cut you off.

Moments later, you had stripped into your undies (because no way are you trying to sleep in skinny jeans. Nope) and put on a baggy top Remington handed you, and he had changed into some shorts. And you were squished into his bed, Remington against the wall, you against him, no mattress to spare. It was going to be a long, long night of false unrequited love.

By the 2 am mark, the guys were not back, thunder jolted you awake. A groan.

"I can't fucking sleep with this storm" He groaned, and you agreed.

A moment passed. Silence except the storm.

"So. How's life?" Remington asked with a playful smile and you giggled.

"To be honest? Pretty bad." For once you answered the question with truth. Remington tried to wiggle around onto his back, but it failed. You shuffled over so you were facing each other.

"What's wrong?" his eyes and voice portrayed equal concern

"Nothing is right. To quote a very handsome man, I'm so sick and tired of being alone." he let out a half laugh as you called him handsome. "There's this guy. I love him so much and he will never know. I can't tell him."

"Well that's just dumb. You should tell him, no matter what happens, you have to be honest with yourself." He mentally punched himself for his hypocrisy, but he couldn't think of any other advice. What would he say, 'that's rough buddy'?

"It's not that easy. It's all just so hard. You know my track record with guys and girls, I never pick the right ones, I always get hurt and not in the fun way."

"The fun way? Oh so you like that?" He teased you with a laugh, without realising just how he was teasing you.

"Fuck off Remi. I know you have no rights to judge. My point is no one ever loves me, or seems to know how."

"Are we talking physical or emotional?"

"Both."

Conversations were always easy between you, and you saw no point in ignoring topics like sex.

You had both been looking away from each other for fear that the other might read their eyes and see the love in their souls. You were the first to look back.

"I just wish someone would kiss me. At this point, I'll take anyone! I'm just so fucking lonely. I know he'd never love me back, and-"

"Then he's a coward. He's not worthy for your love or of you if you feel you can't tell him this." He got so mad with jealousy, but overall he just felt horrible, as he believed he'd never be worthy of you. "You're perfect, do you know that?" He mumbled. He lent in, eyes pulling you closer, until the thunder boomed and you jolted apart.

You rolled over, scared, and there wasn't anywhere for Remington to put his arms besides around you. Slowly, you shuffled back into his warm arms and breathed a sigh. He moved around to get comfortable. You moved a little more, moving your hips a bit. You felt something hard against your butt and you let out a silent sigh. Neither of you were comfortable, and it was clear why when you moved your hips again and Remington couldn't hold it in. He let out the sexiest moan you'd ever heard.

"... Ah, Remi?"

"Shit, I'm sorry I didn't mean to I..." He rambled on, mortified and you moved your hips again. That made him shut up.

Turning around you looked into his eyes. They were pleading with you not to leave, not to freak. To just stay with him forever. Before he could stop himself, he lifted a hand to brush some hair away from your face, and, unable to form words, you let out a light whimper.

Neither of you could form coherent sentences, the conversation was held by your eyes. His, full of surprise, asking, 'do you like me?', biting your lip your eyes said yes. He smiled. Your hearts were beating so fast, but he moved slow towards you, gently placing an open mouthed kiss on your lips. A sea of emotions erupted in you as electricity flooded your body. He pulled away to look you in the eyes.

"Y/N, I have loved you since the moment I met you. I'm sorry I've been so scared to tell you, i can't handle the though of losing you."

"I- you- ah-" you couldn't form the words back, but you pulled him closer and kissed him with all the fire you felt in your heart. he responded with a groan and licked your lips, asking for entrance into your mouth.

You didn't hold back, and you explored each others mouths in a moment of excitement, bodies pressed against each other. You pulled away, needing oxygen, but he pulled you back, needing you more than air. Soon your were against each other, moaning, desperate for more.

"Remington?"

"Yes?"

"Take my shirt off?"

His response was immediate, tugging it off you, and claiming your mouth once again. Your hand wandered down his chest to his boxers. He released your mouth for a loud moan and you felt yourself instantly get wetter.

After muttering 'fuck' he kissed down your chest to your boobs, taking one nipple in his mouths and gently pinching the other, until your back was arched in pleasure. You nudged him back up, so you could reach down into his boxers.

He was painfully hard, and he was groaning in a mixture of pleasure and pain, as he had been hard for an hour trying to ignore your beauty.

"Please." he mumbled in your ear. Immediately, you moved your hand and put your leg in between his, starting to rub yourself onto his thigh as he did to yours. You were both a mess, sweaty and begging each other for more, more, more, until eventually you stopped humping him. You kissed down his chest but he stopped you.

"No. Please, I just need you now." So you both searched for a condom. You couldn't find one. He couldn't find one. You were dripping for him and he was painfully hard, you surrendered to your instincts.

You asked "are you good without?"

"I hope so."

You giggled a little but stopped when he took his undies off. He was perfect, enough to stretch you but not to hurt, and you felt your chest constrict without meaning to.

"How do you want me?" You asked

"However you want. I just need you." he said with a sigh

"Fuck" you moaned and climbed onto him.

You fell gently, both crying out in pleasure as you felt in all the way in you. You clenched and he moaned a high pitched moan that only turned you on more. Soon you were a mess, riding him, him thrusting into you in perfect timing, getting closer, closer, closer. Without saying a word he started to rub your clit gently. You screamed in pleasure and asked for him to go harder, faster. You cupped his balls and he groaned.

"I'm not gonna last much longer." he grunted into you, and you lay on top of him, boobs pressed to his chest, turning you on like nothing else. You ran a hand through his spiky, sweat-dampened hair and whispered:

"come into me, then"

You clenched and he was done, and seeing the face he made of pure ecstasy sent you over the edge, coming undone harder than ever before. Hands on your hips he helped you ride it out, and breathing heavy, you stayed like that for a long time.

"wow" was all Remington said and you laughed, rolling over. He climbed across you to find a wet wash cloth and clean you both up, taking time to kiss you softly and he cleaned you, only making you wet again.

"I love you Remington."

"I lov-" the doors to the bus suddenly opened, Sebastian screeched and shut it immediately, not wanting any more of a visual than he got. Neither of you realised the rain had stopped.

[jostepherjoestar]

Maybe Jotaro, Risotto, Prosciutto, Bruno and Leone friendship HCs with a fem friend thats llike your generic dumbass but they are just like a soft dumbass, she is just too cute to get mad at no matter how stupid she is. So basically a smol sweet dumbass that just radiate baby energy. Like she just runs up to them saying she want to show them something cool and its just a pretty rock but she looks so happy xjsbkss 💖

Pure of heart, dumb of ass fem!friend with Jotaro, Risotto, Prosciutto, Bruno and Abbacchio HC’s

sfw // fem reader

lemme just say, reader is baby and that’s valid 🥰this is so adorably pure ugh ya done killed me anon 🥺💖✨(can very much relate tho, glad my friends put up with my dumb antics)

Jotaro:

“Why am I friends with you again? Yare yare...” A phrase you’ll hear every time you’re hanging out with this tall bastard. He’ll tease you for being a bit of a dumbass but is incredibly drawn to how kind, sweet and absolutely thoughtful you are.

You remind him of Josuke and Okuyasu which only makes him like you even more. And the added cuteness-factor made him admit to himself he does indeed love cute things, no matter how adamantly he denies it to you.

His favourite thing to do is bring you along to the beach for field research, knowing just how wide eyed and giddy you get when you’re allowed to collect shells and rocks or even poke a jellyfish. You seem very good at spotting irregularities in your surroundings, making quite the good assistant to Dr. Kujo.

You’re even allowed to help with lab research, studying petri dishes filled with algae as you excitedly point out a very important detail he hadn’t noticed yet, too tired from working such long hours. Sometimes you’re quite the genius without even trying.

More than anything he loves the amount of lightness you bring to his life, his studies and general headspace take a large toll on him. Any relief is a welcome one.

He’ll often find himself smiling at the thought of hanging out again, staring at the collection of trinkets he keeps in a cute little Hello Kitty box you once gave him, which rests on his nightstand as a reminder that it can’t hurt to adapt your lifestyle of mindless giddy; even just the tiniest bit.

Risotto:

Being close friends with Risotto seems a bit impossible without being in his squad, he’s very insistent at keeping outsiders of Passione more than an arm-length away. Good thing that the stoic man is your capo, phew!

He’s apprehensive at first, not really sure why the soft round pebble you brought him reminded you of the man as he studied the mineral, admiring its softness. “It’s like you! Soft and worn down, but very sturdy and unbreakable.” smiling sweetly at him, excitedly awaiting a response.

What was this new feeling of being appreciated and cared for? Risotto’s never really experienced a friendship so pure. He’ll quietly thank you for the pebble and keeps it on his desk, staring in awe as he’s reminded of your kind words every time he spots it.

He knows the others like to tease you for not always being aware of general human knowledge, shooting them an intense glare as a warning to keep any rude comments or jokes to themselves.

Your friendship consists of him mostly listening to you, quietly taking in all the stories you divulge- so full of excitement, telling him facts you picked up somewhere; the source of these often containing varying levels of credibility. He won’t correct you though. (unless it’s something that might actually endanger you)

He values your friendship so.much. He’s not used to being treated so kindly, receiving random gifts, being praised for a job well done, having someone who doesn’t judge him in the slightest. He’ll do whatever he needs to keep you safe, from others and yourself, along with trying to return your kindness and care. (he tries his best and it’s so cute)

(you guys hold hands for safety when you’re out in the city... just saying, it’s adorable)

Prosciutto:

Prosciutto has a chronic case of “caring older brother disease”. Will need to hold himself back from tying your shoelaces for you, the man knows you can do it it yourself but it’s just taking sooo long.

Just like Risotto, you’d have to be a team member to get close to him in any way. Good thing he recruited you ;)

It’s a bit hard to make him open up about anything personal. You feel like he knows everything about you, while you barely know a thing. When he sees your pouty lip and begging gaze that is way too cute to deny, he’ll cave. Perhaps finally realising it’s alright to lean on others.

He’ll still struggle with continuing the openness, but find relief in your loyalty and understanding. The way you intently listen to his troubles, there to hold his hand if he ever needs it, it makes his heart hurt to know how sweet and gentle you are.

Will keep you and Pesci separate during missions, he’s already getting a migraine from imaging everything that could go wrong without his guidance.

For someone who’s a little more on the dense side, you make up for it in emotional intelligence. Whenever you see how stressed he tends to get, eye twitching without even realising while his shoulders hunch together in discomfort, you come over to hug him. It’s something he had to get used to, the small gesture always calming him down enough to keep going.

Does not appreciate you slipping cute trinkets in his suit pocket. Especially not after finding a snail that one time. You’ve been forbidden from leaving pocket gifts since the incident.

Bruno:

It concerns Bruno just how clueless you can be from time to time. That one time they almost left you behind on a busy station with no cellphone because you found a coin on the ground made him realise you need some extra supervision.

He’s not the type to hold you back from doing things that are guaranteed to result in disaster (unless it’s literally deadly), he wants you to experience the consequences of your own actions.

You do make him hold back his laughter when you try out a stupid idea you know has failed in the past, but change your methods slightly to hope for better results. And you know what? Now he’s curious too.

The man has a weird sense of humour that sometimes even surprises you. He’ll copy your habit of picking up strange trinkets or rocks and asks you to compare findings with him. Like trading marbles, he’ll barter with a smirk.

“Mhh, if you give me that cute shell and that pointy rock... I’ll give you this keychain.” His alluring offer making you question if you’re getting swindled or not. “Hey! That shell is at least worth two stickers!” He’ll heartily laugh at your reply, a mischievous smile while thinking over the trade. “Ok, two stickers and a pebble then.”

With a firm handshake the deal goes through. The rest of the gang never knows how to respond, staring in amazement as their grown-ass capo barters with their grown-ass teammate. He loves being silly with you and forgetting all the pressures of life for just a moment.

Bruno takes his time opening up to you, but finds your presence so comforting it becomes very easy to trust you. As a vital part of his team he finds it important to be able to lean on each other for support and is glad you offer him just as much trust and loyalty.

Abbacchio:

Will never admit he can’t live without you anymore. You’ve become the shining beacon of assumed happiness the man never thought existed. He knows you won’t always be go-lucky and have your own troubles and struggles but admires how you handle them.

Don’t get me wrong, he’ll still gladly tease you for your occasional (well, more like frequent) stupidity. He’ll let you know with a big huff you should smarten up; “Read a book that doesn’t have pictures in it for once.”

He’ll be the first to correct any wrong info you’ve been given, unless he thinks it’s funny. Like when Mista made you believe you needed to order dessert at Libeccio or they’ll kick you out for breaking their beloved rule. It’s only when he saw the panic in your eyes when you finished your main course one day -too full for any sweets to come- that he assured you it was a dumb joke. (he’ll put all the blame on Mista)

Abbacchio seems to tether to people who have a positive influence on him without even realising, it won’t be obvious to him, but just like with his loyalty and admiration for Bruno, he’ll make sure you know it once he finds out.

Not that it’s a bad thing, his need to cling to anything that might help him stay afloat just needs to stay healthy. You didn’t even realise your effect on him, you were too busy trying to figure out a way to turn that scowl into that smirk.

After gifting him a handmade friendship bracelet that had the shortened versions of your names spelled on it, he hugged you. So tightly it was suffocating, you were shocked since he’s never been the touchy type. “Leone! I can’t breathe...” He’ll let go after the complaint but that look on his face will never leave your memory. The face of being loved unconditionally by choice, no matter how unworthy he might think himself of it.

[yackers]

Why Jerome Cheating Wasn't Out of Character and How It Actually Developed Him Further as a Person: an unproofread rant/essay by a bitch with too much time on her hands

okay first I just wanna talk about the circumstances round him cheating. Like he definitely could’ve made better choices and in no way am I saying he’s not to blame but he and Mara were very much broken up when he first started dating willow. Jerome was being a dick in the business competition, but it wasn’t exactly a break up forever kinda mistake. He apologised multiple times in varying degrees of big gestures, to which mara did not respond to or make any move to forgive him. Sure, a lot of this was to do with the sisterhood but it’s not like he knew that.

I think he only went for willow because not only did she help him with his schemes without question, she was also willing to take the punishment all in good fun. In no way were they right for each other but she messed around with him in the costume closet and had fun with her the way he never did too often with mara without being interrupted by mick. Mara then, a while after ignoring his various attempts came up to him and told him she’d forgiven him and they were now back together. He definitely should’ve just told her there and then that he had kissed willow, but he was already starting to question their relationship and honestly I still think it would’ve crushed her.

I think that Jerome only ever wanted to be with mara because he put her on a pedestal as some perfect unattainable girl. He pined over her for years before she showed interest. She was sweet to him and treated him as a human with feelings when the others often wouldn’t but I don’t think they were ever right for each other. They were cute in season 2 but although she helped him with his dad she constantly overstepped with him and poppy and always held a sense of righteousness over him like on donkey day. I think especially once they were in a relationship she expected him to be a different person for her in ways that would change who he was. He looks visibly uncomfortable with the nicknames and is constantly shown to be at her beck and call in a way that is less playful in comparison to season 3 Alfie and amber.

The whole trying to then get away with having two girlfriends whilst he makes up his mind on who he wants to date therefore makes perfect sense for his character as in truth he doesn’t actually wanna date either of them. Willow is fun but not serious and mara is serious but not fun. willow and him was only really ever a fling, as shown by how quickly she moves on. And Jerome is literally an asshole it would be unrealistic at this point in his development for him to handle the situation maturely and lay his feeling out to them because he barely knew what he was feeling and he is self identified sneaky. Are we forgetting that he used to manipulate Alfie for money, literally broke up mick and mara and consistently just makes the worst choices readily available to him. Yes he did gaslight willow and lied to mara but it’s nothing he hasn’t done before and was presently above doing again.

Joy being the one to find out first and see the comparison table is important to her relationship because there is all the worst parts about his character laid out on a platter for her. I think often mara completely avoided seeing how cruel and insensitive he can be at times and thought the others exaggerated it which is why she took the cheating so hard because she didn’t see it coming. But joy knows he’s flawed right from the start of their relationship, including his taunting of her near the beginning of the season. They also have a lot more shared experiences as shown during the ceremony scenes at the gatehouse. They’re both actively mad at each other but yet still come together against Alfie and Patricia and then the teachers. Mara never knew about anything Jerome went through in the first two seasons but joy did.

A really key part of his character development is when mara makes the cruel comment about his dad. I think if anything it shows how wrong they were for each other. Joy’s speech about being the bigger person is a turning point for him. Like mara, she wants him to be better but she says it from the perspective of someone who acknowledges that they too have done shitty things in the past. I think the ‘if you can bare it’ is important too, because she’s acknowledging to him that being a good person isn’t easy especially for people with upbringings and pasts like theirs. I think for the first time he actually feels understood. The ‘my lady’ scene confirms this.

Joy never requires him to be too mushy and vulnerable to her publicly. She’s playful and jokes around and anything sweet he says to her he says because he means it, not because it’s something he thinks she wants to hear. Their letdown washing date it so key to his growth like he’s able to joke around with her in a space where he can also freely talk about his dad and his insecurities about being allowed to scheme and be himself without having to be cold hearted because of it. He tells her she’s a good listener because he’s being heard without anyone looking out for poppy or his dad or the greater good over his own feelings.

One of the biggest signs he’s changed is when he knows that the play is a plot to embarrass him and takes it on the chin, admits he made a mistake and just hopes that it helps mara move on. And he just seems so much more into joy than he ever was anyone else, he even says it!! Unlike mara he isnt following her around like a puppy and doing as he’s told he gets distracted by her as she walks in the room and calls her names and is just!! I think the show is so good at writing couples that don’t have to be mushy and all over each other to show they care and mara is right they are kinda perfect for each other. They both have made mistakes in the past but they’ve grown up and there isn’t an unequal balance of a bad guy and a better girl who wants to fix him. He’s respectful of mara and backs away from joy around her without taunting and fighting back like season 1 or 2 Jerome definitely would’ve. He changed for the better organically on screen and I think his arc was done really well. You can tell by the way he he cries when he overhears about the revenge plot how much he really cared and he broke up with her to protect his own feeling but as soon as he realises that her feelings were genuine he tries to get her back. Not in flashy empty feeling gestures like before but by expressing how he feels.

Im not saying he didn’t develop a lot over the course of season one and two and that mara didn’t play a big part in that development but I think to truly be better he had to take a step back from pretending to be perfect to get the girl of his dreams and actually take the time to work on himself.

And in terms of the cheating/revenge plot line itself it had to be something big and time consuming this season that took up all the characters not involved in the mystery’s time whilst also giving them their own arcs and stories within it. sibuna were literally soulless for a portion of the season which could only work if they were distanced from their close friends outside of it like Jerome and joy because they were far too wrapped up in their own shit to notice. And they’re teenagers! Of course trying to date two girls at once and orchestrating the plot of John tucker must die is a dumb bad idea!! But so is literally every other thing they do in the show because they’re naive and half of them were left there by their parents to rot and have been kidnapped in the past of course they’re not rational!! I actually found the whole sideplot an entertaining break from the darker themes of the third season and throughout the whole season you can feel the characters are 17/18 instead of 15/16 like in the first season, there’s gonna be more romantic motivation to their actions.

In conclusion/ TLDR: just because a character makes mistakes doesn’t mean they lost their development or they were out of character. Interesting characters aren’t good people all of the time and thats what makes it entertaining.

[migilini]

Hiiii! I liked how you did the road trip one shot and was wondering if you could do a request for Charlie Gillespie where the reader and Charlie are dating but have been living in different states due to COVID and the boys do an Instagram live and the reader wants to be on the live with them and Charlie gets so excited and it’s fluffy?

So far apart - Charlie Gillespie

A/N: ofc i can! Thank you so much, hope you like it :) I will proofe read it tomorrow.

Words: 1.5k

Masterlist

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Tiredness was your new default state. College alone was stressful and hard enough plus it didn't help that you had to do it online from your little NY appartement that you shared with three other roommates. But you had too. You were in your last semester ever! That was motivation enough to pull through.

Currently you were trying to facetime your boyfriend Charlie. You haven't seen him in about four months but if someone would ask your roommates, they would say it felt like an eternity of you moaning and pouting about not seeing him. When COVID started, the two of you seriously debated about moving in together. However, at that time, your classes were not online yet and you couldn't move away, he also couldn't move to New York with you because he still had meetings with the JATP Cast.

You stared at your ringing phone, desperate to hear his voice. You knew that he should be awake, you had the time zones imprinted on your brain.

Sorry babe, have a meeting in 5… Will call you after okay? <3 the message that just popped up on your screen made you frown a little. You weren't mad, you just had a really awful week and missed him like crazy.

Sure thing <3 yout texted back and threw the phone onto your bed. Deciding that instead of waiting for him to call back, you could use the time usefully and start studying for your next test in two days. 

It was an hour later, you were completely engrossed in the textbook, so you barely heard the ringing of your phone. Maybe a bit too quick, you tossed all your books to the ground and launched yourself on the bed to find your phone. 

His pretty face filled your screen “Heyyy!” “Hello beautiful!” You two grinned at each other.

“How are--” A knocking on your door interrupted your question. “Yes?” The door opened and revealed one of your roommates Alexis with a sheepish look on her face “I’m really sorry to interrupt but Tara just broke off with her boyfriend and she needs a hug.”

You looked up at your red haired friend “She broke up with Tom?!” Alexis nodded “It's an emergency” she claimed. Charlie understood this as his clue to end the call saying a quick goodbye and a don't worry about it, when you shot him an apologetic look. 

This is how it went nearly every time. Something always came up, either you were studying non-stop and he didn't want to distract you or he had actor things and meetings going on. It was truly tiring. The last time you really had the opportunity to facetime was a couple weeks ago and even then you fell asleep inert 15minutes. When Charlie accidentally lulled you to sleep with a song he's been working on. 

Still the two of you made it work. Charlie had started writing you weekly letters with his perfume on it. And you being your crafty self, sent him a little care package with letters, some self made food and paintings, every now and then.

You just finished all your tests and essays for this semester and you felt free again. Taking a deep breath, you opened your bedroom window and put your school books away. Sinking down on your bed, you closed your eyes temporarily, enjoying the moment. You got up again to get yourself something to eat and a coffee. Your roommates were currently away, probably getting groceries or books at the College Library.

You mindlessly scrolled through Instagram, the sandwich you made yourself still laying next to you on the nightstand. Ever since Julie and the Phantoms released, the cast's accounts blew up like crazy and Charlie always showed you off like a queen so of course people found your page as well. You didn't mind though. Most of the people were really nice and respecting, protecting your relationship from all the not so nice guys

You just answered some DM’s, chuckling at a meme that Maddie had sent you, when you got a notification that Owen was live. Naturally you clicked on it, knowing that Charlie most likely will be in the live as well, due to the fact that he was currently at Owen’s with Jeremy.

You were one of the first ones. Owen grinned when he saw your name come up in the chat. 

“Guten Morgen everybody.” You chuckled when you heard your boyfriend singing in the background, writing in the chat that Owen should say hi to Charlie. “Are all of you streaming JATP?” he asked the live audience while you nodded to yourself, your laptop open beside you. It was a bit embarrassing to admit how often you saw the show, but every time you felt lonely you watched it. It had some really cute guys in it after all.

He read the chat “Do you like watching the show you participated in? Thats a good question. Charlie, Charlie! I have a question for you.” The camera turned and it showed the canadian boy you fell in love with. 

“Eh…” he said as he walked into the kitchen, Owen following close. “It was very weird at first. Guess I'm more used to it now.” he answered honestly. You weren't even listening, you just stared at your phone in trance, the light making him look so incredibly pretty.

Suddenly you got an invitation to join the live from Owen. You sat up a bit straighter and blinked a few times before accepting. 

“Helloooooo!” he screamed, making you laugh. “Hi Owen. Yall are up early.”

“Yeah… you know Char. That dumb early riser.” he complained. “Yeah I feel you. Though he lets me sleep so he must love me more than he loves you.” you teased making Owen pout in a childish way.

“Charlie! Who do you love more, me or y/n?” the statement made your boyfriend laugh and for a moment your breath hitched, it was music in your ears and once again you realised how much you missed it.

“I’m really sorry bud, but definitely y/n…I want to...” Charlie just wanted to explain why when he heard your chuckling from Owen’s phone. “See told ya.” It was truly a blessing that the camera was still turned to your boyfriend, making it easy for you to see his reaction. He nearly let the fork he was holding fall out of his hand, his eyes widening while his mouth grew into a big grin. “Is that y/n?” he asked cautiously. Apparently Owen nodded, because before you knew, the camera turned and you were face to face with your boyfriend. 

“Baby!” he screamed, a wide, toothy smile on his lips. “How dare you go on live with Owen but not with me!” he jokes. “How was the history test? As hard as you thought it would be?” you cut off his rambling “Hi! Nice to see you too. No, it was way harder than I expected. Let's hope for the best, I get the results sometime next week”

“I bet you killed that test baby! No, Owen you don't get the phone back… I don't care that it's your live.” The chat was freaking out over Charlie's happiness by just seeing you, talking about how they want love like that.

“Little explanation for everybody. Me and Charlie haven't really been able to facetime so were just really excited right now. Sorry if it's boring.” you explained to the chat. 

“Don’t ever say that ever again.” he said in a serious tone “it's not boring.” you held your hands up in surrender. “Sorry sorry. Can I talk to Owen again? I mean he is the one who invited me.” you teased, poking your tongue out. With a pout he gave the phone back to Owen.

“Are you also streaming the show today?” he asked you. Charlie was in the background, looking at you over Owens shoulder, making silly faces. “Of course! Who do you think I am? I’ve been watching it everyday since it came out.” Owens' face fell “You're kidding… that doesn't… that doesn't seem healthy.” you shrugged “Well i don't really care. I have this massive crush on someone from the show, just can't get enough of him.” 

The camera shook and a couple crunts later you were once again faced with Charlie. “I sure hope it's me or you're not allowed to wear that shirt anymore.” he pointed to the shirt you were currently wearing and that was in fact one of his.

“Not gonna tell you babe. My mouth is shut.” you winked, making him blush. “I miss you.” he blurted out with puppy eyes. “I miss you too. Can’t wait to see you.” he grinned at that excited for the surprise he had planned. 

“I think i'm gonna go, let you guys actually comment on the show. I love you Charlie.” You sent him a kiss and he pretended to catch it with his free hand.

“Eww that's so cheesy.” Owen muttered from somewhere in the back.

“I love you too.”

[whisperednarratives]

pairing:

bakugo katsuki x reader

cw:

angst

a/n:

im doing to start working on EVOLVE this week! i already have some drafts ready and im so excited to share the final work with you guys!!

fun fact: this scenario was originally written for EVOLVE but i decided not to put it in the story! :)

[NONE OF THE FOLLOWING WORKS HAVE BEEN EDITED OR PROOFREAD YET]

-

“Why are you here?”

Y/N’s fists stayed clenched besides her to stop her hands from shaking.

It was cold today, much like the gaze Bakugo Katsuki had set upon her as soon as she had approached him.

He hadn’t looked at her like that for a while now.

“What are you doing, Katsuki?” Y/N’s voice found its way out of her mouth, her eyes never leaving his.

“What do you think dumbass? I’m leaving.”

The silence that followed hung around the two for a few seconds, the streetlight lamp above their heads flickering occasionally.

“What do you mean?” Furrowing her eyebrows, Y/N tried her best to remain patient.

“What the fuck do you think? I’m leaving U.A. My job here is done,” he rolled his eyes. “Frankly, I’ve over welcomed my stay.”

He turned back around, beginning to walk towards the gates that led to the city that lay outside of the U.A grounds.

They were already outside after curfew and getting caught was not an option. The last time they’d snuck out together, Aizawa had given them detention for a week.

Y/N rushed towards him.

“Katsuki, what are you talking about? What do you mean you’ve over welcomed your stay?”

Bakugo remained silent, his footsteps still thundering towards the metal gates.

Confused and slightly agitated, Y/N reached out to grab his shoulder. As soon as her hand touched his body, he turned around to slap it away.

Recoiling her arm, Y/N’s eyes immediately flooded with hurt.

“Katsuki, what’s the-”

“STOP CALLING ME THAT!”

Bakugo’s eyes were as hard as stone, his voice echoing through the emptiness of the evening that had settled around them. His figure loomed over Y/N’s and for the first time in months, a sliver of fear slid through her body.

“Who the fuck do you think you are? Why are you even following me?”

“Kat-Bakugo, I just saw you leaving the dorms and wanted to make sure you’re okay. I’m your friend...” Y/N managed to say, shrinking underneath his harsh gaze.

Friends. Friends. Friends.

Friends who kiss. Friends who hold hands. Friends who-

Bakugo let out a laugh and for once, Y/N found the sound to be unpleasant.

“Friends? What, you think you can feed me some bullshit and I’ll forget what I really came here for?” Bakugo folded his arms across his chest, crimson eyes blazing with disgust. “You, your words and your ‘friendship’ means nothing to me.”

Y/N’s body stilled, the flash of a memory she usually smiled at causing her eyes to screw themselves shut.

Y/N listened to Bakugo rant, his hands moving as rapidly as Iida’s. Normally the two would be at each other’s throats but today had ended up being different.

During training, Bakugo had been paired with Denki. The two had sparred like they usually would but Bakugo finished the fight with a blow so strong, Denki over exerted himself to the point where he became too dumb to respond. As Mineta and Mina rushed to pick him up, Mineta had decided to give his unwanted opinion.

“Damn Bakugo, sometimes I wonder if you would be better off as a villain.”

Usually, Bakugo would fly Mineta across the room for even speaking to him. But today he had turned around, eyes blank and exited the gym.

Y/N had caught sight of him leaving and decided to follow him. Before she knew it, they found themselves seated on the grass right outside the dorms with Bakugo talking at the speed of light.

“That piece of shit needs to keep his mouth shut before I rip all of the balls off his head. We were sparring, it’s what heroes do to train. It’s not my fault Dunce Face spasmed out of fear and rendered himself stupid. I mean yeah I could’ve gone easy on him but we’re training to fight the best of the best! Does he really think the bad guys will look at him and think, ‘Oh let’s just not attack this one!’ But that pint sized freak had to go and call me a villain!” Bakugo continued to scream, Y/N facing his side as his hand gestures began to get more violent.

Bakugo didn’t understand why he was so mad. Was it because Mina and Dunce Face had been around to hear it? Or because Y/N was nearby and she had witnessed the entire thing?

After all, what Mineta had said was tru-

Interrupting his ranting, Y/N reached out and placed a hand on Bakugo’s shoulder. Her touch was hesitant and so were her next words.

“Look Bakugo, you have raging anger issues and you tend to scream too much. You’re intolerably arrogant and you like to boss people around,” Y/N began, her gaze fixated on the blatant glare Bakugo was shooting her.

“Princess, if you’re going to insult me, at least-”

“But you are one of the strongest people I know,” Y/N continued. “You are brave and smart and so passionate about being a hero that we all overlook the fact that we want to run you over sometimes.”

Bakugo rolled his eyes.

Y/N realised later that the next thing she said is what really helped Bakugo open up to her. And for him to open up to Eijirou and Denki and the rest of the Bakusquad.

It had made him realise that she looked up to him despite his obvious flaws and had decided that he was worthy of her time.

Of her friendship.

And for some odd reason, Bakugo’s heart had filled with unfamiliar warmth at the sight of her smile.

He knew it was wrong. It was so wrong to let his guard down like this but just sitting next to her made him feel so at peace that for a moment he forgot that her smile towards him would eventually become rare sight.

“You are not a villain Bakugo Katsuki.”

“Bakugo, if you’re talking about-”

“Just fuck off. I don’t need you to hold my hand and tell me everything will be okay,” Bakugo snapped. “You will never understand the pressure I am under.”

“Bakugo please, I am your friend. You can talk to me,” Y/N pleaded. “I don’t understand what’s going on but I’m sure we can figure it out together.”

Bakugo barked out another laugh, just as unfriendly as the last one. He uncrossed his arms only to lean down to Y/N’s height.

“You will never understand. Let me make it clear to you L/N, you and I were never friends. You were just some naive little bitch I used as a distraction to get my job done,” Bakugo sneered as Y/N’s eyes started to water.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

“You are weak and vulnerable and stupid. And you always will be. Do not come looking for me. I don’t want to be found or saved if that’s what you’re going for. Don’t try to come after me either or I won’t hesitate to blow you up.”

With that, Bakugo turned on his heels, continuing his journey towards the gates.

Y/N kept her head down, the tears in her eyes threatening to fall any minute now. She willed herself to stay strong, not for herself, but for Bakugo.

She knew he was just trying to say all those things because he wanted her to stay still. He wanted to make her feel pained enough to not chase him. To not come after him.

But he was still Katsuki.

Katsuki, who woke up early to make her breakfast every morning before class. Katsuki, who pushed her to train with him so she could get stronger. Katsuki, who stocked his mini fridge full of her favourite ice cream because she always crashed in his room. Katsuki, who held her hand the entire night when she fell sick a couple of weeks ago. Katsuki, who had hugged her close before whispering the words ‘You’re still a dumbass.’ and pulled her into a kiss. Katsuki, who had promised he’d never leave her.

Fuck. Move Y/N.

Just as Y/N managed to gather all of her strength to lift her foot one step closer, Bakugo paused.

Without bothering to even look at her, he landed his final blow.

“You know I’m glad the League tortured you the way they did when they captured you. After all, it was my idea.”

Y/N didn’t know what happened next.

All she remembered was her knees crumbling under the weight of her emotions only for her tears to flood her face faster than she had managed to fall in love with Bakugo Katsuki.

-

Kirishima awoke to a soft knock on his door. He rubbed his eyes, shifting to check the alarm clock he’d place on his bedside table.

3:45AM.

Who the hell could it be at this hour?

Irritated and still a bit drowsy, he slipped out of his warm bed to approach his door. The knocking continued, albeit a bit harder this time and Kirishima threw the door open.

“Calm down a damn min-”

He paused, eyes meeting Y/N’s.

With her face red and puffy, Y/N pushed past him to seat herself onto his bed. Confused, Kirishima closed the door behind him and switched on the lights in his room. That’s when he realised how shattered Y/N truly looked.

Dried tears streaked her face, her body shivering. Her knees were bruised and her hands would not stop shaking.

He had never seen her like this.

“Y/N, is everything okay? Do you want me to call Baku-“

Before he could finish, Y/N interrupted him.

“He’s gone,” she said, lifting her head just enough for Kirishima to see how lifeless her eyes were. “He... he was helping the v-villains.”

Suddenly, it felt like somebody had punched Kirishima in the gut.

“Bakugo’s the U.A traitor.”

[golden-cinnamon]

Confident (Lucio)

Inspired by Confident by Carlos Vara, and @desskryze ‘s The fool’s lovers Spotify playlist.

Characters: Lucio (POV), Morga, a dash of Nasmira. Mentions of Nadia and Valerius.

Prompt: A painful question makes Lucio go down memory lane and question his own confidence.

Words: ~ 1750

Warnings: strong language, violent themes (emotional abuse), angst, alcohol misuse.

AN: (this is my first time writing a fanfiction so pls go easy on me lol)

“How are you so confident?”

Lucio had no idea why he still remembered that question. It was the middle of summer in Vesuvia. It hadn’t rained in weeks. It was as if a huge cloak of fire was covering the city. The heat outside was almost unbearable.

“The people need something to cheer them up”, Nadia had said. So naturally, Lucio threw a party. Then another. Then he decided to host another full-blown masquerade, and tonight was the night. The roaring sound of laughter and happy screams was filling the air. Singers and musicians were all playing in unison, tapping their feet and smiling, as a huge crowd of partygoers danced their heart out on the floor. The music was so loud in the palace, it could be heard from a few miles away. The rhythm of the drums was almost hypnotising. The walls were shaking, the heat was rising, and amongst the crowd, Lucio was thriving. He loved the attention. He loved the spotlight. The masquerade was made for him.  

“How’re you so confident?” What a dumb question. When Nasmira - one of Nadia’s sister - asked, he couldn’t help but laugh in her face. The nerve of this woman! Even if it had happened a few hours earlier, Lucio could still remember. Despite the drinking, the dancing and all the partying. Why did he remember? He could still hear her voice:

“How’re you so confident?”

“What?” Sat at the buffet table, Lucio turned to the woman next to him, clearly annoyed. “Speak up Nasmira, I can’t hear you over the music.”

“I said, how are you so confident? It’s amazing, I would lov-”  

“Hah!” Lucio raised his hand to stop her. “It doesn’t matter, actually. I don’t care.”

Without any care or hesitation, Lucio flashed her his prettiest smile, stood up and left. He paid no attention to Nadia’s murderous gaze on his back, as he headed to the dance floor, after stealing a drink from a nearby table. He already had a little buzz, but that was just the beginning.  

For hours on, he had danced, eaten, indulged in all the pleasures he could get without taking a break. Time seemed to have flown by, and yet the night was still young. Swaying his hips to the music on the dance floor, Lucio started to sing. Drink in hand, shirt open, he was the life of the party. His dance partner looked at him with half hooded eyes, clearly under his spell. He was having more fun than he could handle, and yet he couldn’t forget this question. “How’re you so confident?”  

The thought of it made him frown. Hell, of course he’s confident. That’s just him! What else could he be? That’s simply who he is. Right?

Spinning and spinning on the dance floor, Lucio could feel the alcohol from his drink starting to settle. Lost in thoughts, for a moment, he did ask himself “...Why am I?” Memories of his childhood came to mind. Morga, his mother, screaming at him because he couldn’t hit the target with his axe. The other kids chuckling at his struggle. Him getting so mad, he almost threw the axe at them. Getting to bed without dinner for being bad. Crying to sleep. Plotting his revenge. Getting it, but being unable to get rid of the pain. Morga rejecting his hugs. Being forced to sleep outside during a thunderstorm at night. Feeling so small. So weak. So insignificant.

It all came back to his mind in a second. Lucio almost needed to sit down. He looked at his glass: empty. Feeling dizzy, he excused himself from his date and rushed to the bar. He sat on the nearest stool, yelled a couple words to the bartender and sighed. In a second, he had two more drinks in his hands. It was more than he needed, and yet it still didn’t feel like enough.  

He was hurting. The black hole he used to feel in his chest had come back. His face, now red was contorted in anger. He squished his glasses, so tightly the veins on his hands were pulsing.  

He hated them all. His mom, his dad, his family. For too many years, they had mocked him. For too many years, they had made him feel like he should hate himself. They had made him want to die. Well, no more.  

He remembered the day he finally snapped. His 18th birthday. The worst day of his life.

“You have to earn the title of leader, Lucio!” Morga had said. “I don’t care that you’re my son, I don’t care that you’re of age, or that it is your ‘birth right’! You’re just a small, useless, incapable weakling! Unworthy to lead the Scourge tribe! I will not announce you as the next heir! Not you, a fool, deprived of any strength!”

Lucio looked at his feet. For so long, he had tried so hard. He’d had enough.  

No more.

“I’ll show you ‘strength’, mother!” Morga’s eyes were big like the moon, as she watched her son flip the table over. Tears prickling his eyes, face deformed by painful rage, he began to break everything that fell under his hands. Vases, dishes, shields, frames... everything. Morga rushed to stop him.

“Lucio! Stop it, stop it! You idiot, you fool!” He tried to fight her off, but his mother managed to seized his shoulders and push him in his room. She locked the door behind him. "You'll get out once you learn how to be a man!”  

Lucio heard his mom walk away, and the front door open, then close again. Face red, he punched his bedroom door, again and again, to no avail.  

“I hate you!” he yelled, hurting his throat.

But Morga was long gone. There was no one to hear his first sobs. There was no one to hold him, as he slowly slipped on the floor, back against the wall. There was no one to comfort him, no one to hug him, as he sobbed so hard he could barely breathe. No one. There was no one for him. He was all alone.

That night...

The memory was excruciating to remember. Lucio opened his eyes, surprised he had even closed them in the first place. With a shaky breath, he looked around at the masquerade.  

People.  

People everywhere.  

He was surrounded by guests. Friends, family, strangers. Citizens of Vesuvia and nearby provinces. So many people. All here tonight, because of him.  

For him. In his honour.

The thought made him puff out his chest a little. If his dad could see him now, right? His dad...  

His dad. He remembered sneaking out of the settlement, that night.  

He remembered.

Cold, face full of dried tears, walking in the dark. The full moon in the sky being his only light. The only witness of what he was about to do. Alone, he was walking. Walking towards the biggest mistake of his life.

His fists were sore from all the punching he had done on his door, enraged, trying to break free. His arms - full of scratches caused by the window’s glass he had to break to get out - were painfully throbbing.  

But Lucio was determined. One foot after the other, steadily, he reached the cave of the serpent of destruction - Vlagnagog.  He knew what he had to do to become strong. He had to ask for the power to kill his parents.

So, he went on his knees. He went on his knees and performed the ritual.  

No, at the time he didn’t know. He didn’t know, didn't realise, that he summoned the worm of pestilence instead. The worm did tell him that Vlagnagog was dead. He did. But Lucio couldn’t back down. Instead, he laughed. He laughed, like he always did when the pain grew too heavy. When his dad berated and insulted him. When his mom left him in the forest at night to toughen him up. When he felt like the ‘worm’ his mom called him so often. He laughed, because he refused to cry. And with a laugh, Lucio decided he would still make the deal. He was too weak, or stupid – as Morga said – to back down. So he got the worm of pestilence’s power.

He remembered holding his dad’s dead body, the next day. He remembered, finally feeling free when he realised that he could never hurt him again. He remembered the fury in his mom’s eyes, when she set eyes on him, bloody clothes, blood dripping from his hands. “See mom ?! Who’s weak now ?!”

“Not me”, Lucio muttered to himself, still sitting on the stool. He glanced at his glasses, which were now empty, and his head was spinning. “Holy shit, I’m smashed.” He got up, almost falling over, and looked around to find a dance partner. In the crowd he saw Nadia, who didn’t even care about him. He saw Valerius, chatting with another man. He saw his previous partner eating with their friends.

So he laughed.  

He laughed so hard his ribs hurt. Grabbing the closest person to him, he headed to the dance floor, dancing with all his might. He could see several eyes on him, whispers of admiration, ‘heart eyes’ and blushing cheeks.  

Adoration. Envy. Desire. He could see some curious eyes, from people - like Nasmira - wondering “How is he so confident?”

And deep-down Lucio knew the answer. “Because I have to.”  

He refused to be weak. He refused to let his mom’s insults win. He refused to give up on whom he wanted to be.

Truth was, he wasn’t t that confident. Not inside. Not always.

But he tried. And he couldn't stop. Otherwise, his world would crumble.  

So, he drank, ate, danced and over-indulged, trying to fill the hole in his chest which felt deeper, some days. And at every party, every masquerade, he put on his mask. And got ready to play.

Because maybe, one day he’d wake up feeling truly happy. And confident.

For real, this time.

[winters-sugardaddy-zemo]

Zemo's Weltenschmerz (Zemo's world pain)

( Weltenschmerz [ˈvɛltʃmɛɐ̯ts]. it denotes a deep sadness about the inadequacy or imperfection of the world.The translation can differ depending on context, in reference to the self it can mean "world weariness", in reference to the world it can mean "the pain of the world")

After Bucky saves Zemo from John, the new captain america, the baron hears the soldat scream at night and can't help himself but to find out why. It seems that he developed an unhealthy obsession about the man and can't explain himself why so he tries so suppress his emotions.

This is my first time ever writing in the Marvel fandom and I chose to write it in a diary style, which means I jump from scene to scene. Let me know if it is too unclear what is going on or if you want a part 2! xoxo🥰❤

part (1/?)

Word count: 4120

TW: Angst, Hurt, comfort, smut-ish?

"Are you here to watch and enjoy my suffering?"

"No-" Zemo did not hesitate to gently shake his head in denial but he felt caught. His eyes wandered through the room to stare at anything else than his soldat, too nervous to look him in the eyes. He wondered why his feet had led him to Bucky's room and why he did not simply ignore the screams he heard in the night. Zemo did not blame himself, he had a curious nature after all and the soldat was the biggest puzzle to solve for him. Bucky's eyes were still burning on him, even after a long pause of silence. He waited for the sokovian to explain himself, but somehow the other man's head was empty and he imagined the air was drained out of his lungs, that opening his mouth to say something would choke him to death.

"I just wanted to check on you and see if you are okay." Zemo whispered and looked at the man sitting on the ground, his chest soaked in his sweat. The sokovian did not just see the Soldat sweating, he could also smell him. And for a moment Zemo was not sure if he despised the smell, or were already addicted to it. Bucky really needed to take a shower and change his sheets. "Are you okay?"

"Do I look like it?" The soldat hissed angrily at Zemo, the sudden volume in his voice breaking the silence caused the sokovian to flinch a little. That was a dumb question, indeed, maybe nothing more than a reflex. A simple question to ask, in which the answer mostly resulted as a lie. 

"Should I get Sam?" Zemo proposed and pointed with his thumb back into the hallway.

"NO!"

"Should I leave?" He then asked when Bucky was staring at him again, his eyes filled with unspoken words as if he would conduct this dialogue in his head. Bucky remained silent and after a while he shortly broke the gaze.

"What do you really want here?" Bucky asked with quite a concern in his voice, his beautiful blue eyes now piercing the man in front of him again. "Why did you come here?"

For the first time since Zemo had joined Sam and Bucky, he had nothing to say. He tried to grab a thought, to give the other man a quick and easy answer, the best lie possible, but the harder he tried, the less he could focus and started to stutter.

"Well, I-I… apparently-"

"Apparently you don't know how to fucking mind your own business!" The Soldat was yelling now and jumped to his feet to build himself up in front of the sokovian. Zemo almost imagined hearing him growl. As Bucky closed the distance between them two, the baron could feel his heart kicking at his ripcake like a drunken assaulting the bars of his holding cell. That he felt nervous now was no understatement, but why he felt nervous was another mystery to himself. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again when the vibranium fingers of the soldat touched his breast. Gently at first, then it got rough quickly: Bucky pushed his flat hand against Zemo and pushed him out of his room, almost causing the baron to fall backwards, right before the door was harshly thrown shut in front of him.

"Unhöflich." Zemo mumbled, still utterly perplexed about his own actions and choice of words. 

The next night Zemo could not sleep. He was restless and could not stop thinking about sneaking past Sam's room to visit Bucky again, but he deeply doubted the man had left his door open after the last night. The sokovian felt strong, ashamed of himself, proud, feverish and a little plem-plem. There was no reason for wanting to see the broken man again- and to be hurtful truthfully, it was no lie to state the obvious about him. 

When Zemo closed his eyes again, to push every thought of Bucky aside, the suffering growls of the man in the distance made him shiver from head to toes. He yanked the blanket aside, his body shot up and he found himself sitting bolt upright in bed. The solovian's eyes wandered down to his hands and saw that they were shaking. 

"Stop this madness." He whined and grabbed with one hand his other wrist in an weak attempt to stop himself from shivering. 

"I absolutely don't care." Zemo told himself and after a moment, when he was not sure about his own words he added,"Or at least I shouldn't care."

His body moved on it's own when his bare feet touched the ground. The wooden floor was colder than he expected, but nothing to bother about.  What really bothered him was the cold air that snuck in from the open window Zemo forgot to close before he went for his short sleep. As he closed the window, Zemo watched his empty reflection in the glass. He was no less broken than Bucky...

The baron has sworn himself to revenge his family at all cost, to stop Supe's, that they could not abuse their power for their self-righteous beliefs. Sam's question about Zemo's thoughts on Bucky had caught him off guard and the sokovian still did not know how to answer that. Not to Sam and not to himself. Since the soldat had saved Zemo's life and showed his sparing gesture afterwards, by dropping all the bullets in his gun in front of the sokovian, things had changed. Zemo could feel it deep inside his guts, that there was something wrong with him. 

At first, Zemo shook the feeling off and assumed that everything he felt was guilt for being saved by Bucky. When Zemo had destroyed the small blue bottles, John freaked out. The new captain america almost killed Zemo in his outrage before he could save the last bottle of super soldier serum. After hitting him with Cap's shield, the man was far away with being finished with the baron. 

"You really think you are a smart one." John grabbed Zemo threatening by the collar of his jacket. The baron's view was speckled with black dots that seemed to get bigger, but he was still conscious enough to realise that the new Captain pulled the corner of his lips up into a mischievous  smile before he got stabbed. John's eyes moved aside to something blue that was barely in view. 

"Not that smart at all."

Zemo closed his eyes for just a second and took a sharp breath. He wondered how he could still stand, yet the baron did not fall backwards from the pain. John was long gone, but Zemo was unable to even realise that. He did not even realise how Bucky stormed into the room next. The soldat moved his eyes from the broken serum bottles to Zemo's gun on the ground and at last to the baron, standing like frozen next to it. 

"What the hell happened here?" Bucky asked and when the sokovian did not answer he touched his waist,"What happened to you?"

When he pulled his hand away bloody, Bucky widened his eyes and gave Zemo an unbelieving look. 

"What happened?" He repeated his question in a hoarse tone. 

"I am-" the sokovian could feel how the ground swayed away underneath his feet and he might have blacked out for just a second, because when he looked around with his eyes, Bucky was holding him in his arms. "-fine." .

"You're clearly not fine!" Bucky yelled and shook him a little, in fear, that if the baron closed his eyes, they would never open again. He was too important for this mission.

Zemo felt like he was fainting as his sight got darker and his body heavier, but the mercy of passing out was not granted to him. Bucky started to peel off the baron's coat and when he saw the bloody mess underneath he gasped. 

Zemo felt so embarrassed to remember how Bucky had picked him up into his arms and carried him out to get medical treatment as fast as possible. If anyone would ever find out about this unexpected situation between him and the soldat, it was over with his reputation in the underground scene. Then he was not baron Zemo the mastermind anymore, rather the man who cuddled with his slave soldier. But in the end Bucky did save his life, nothing the sokovian would have ever expected after everything he had made the soldat do in his name. He hated himself so much for being in his debt, even though Zemo started to like the thought of being close to the other man.

The baron realised he could not sleep until he spoke to Bucky and thanked him for what he did for him- a weak excuse, that the baron was aware of. He got dressed quickly and rushed to his door, just to hesitate to even touch the door handle. He gulped. What am I doing? Zemo took a deep breath, then wrapped his fingers around the door handle as suddenly someone knocked on his door. He stopped and held on. His eyes widened and his heart beat paced up. 

"Zemo?" It was Bucky.

"Zemo, are you awake?" there was a bitter note of discontentment in his voice. Zemo could not answer. How could he? The baron's cheeks heated up and he bit his lip to prevent himself from making any sound. Why was it so hard to talk to Bucky all of the sudden? He waited another moment and when Bucky finally left, Zemo let out a relieved sight, even though he still felt a little stabbed. Turning around, he leaned against the wooden door and stared over to the window. Still a broken man in a broken world. Zemo sank down until he sat on the cold ground. So cold. 

It took him courage to rise to his feet again and move himself through the hallway towards Bucky's room. To his surprise the door was open and Zemo wondered if it were on purpose or just accidentally.

"What did you want?" Zemo caught the soldats attention after he stopped in the doorway and started to speak. The sight of him made Zemo nervous. Bucky was shirtless and probably went to sleep, or was already sleeping. Anyway he flinched a little by the creeping man and sat up onto his bed. Bucky tilted his head and looked over to Zemo.

"I wanted to know why you came to me in the night." Bucky explained. "I want the truth."

"I was worried." No lie. "When you scream at night, I know it is because of the Winter Soldier."

"You mean me?" Bucky asked with a sudden anger. "I am the Winter Soldier!" 

A justified anger, but Zemo never abstracted the Winter Soldier from Bucky.

"I mean it when I say I care about you." The sokovian tried to soothe the soldat. His downfall.

"Do you, Zemo?" Bucky spat his name out as if it were poison. "Sam told me about your God-talk and how Supe's can not be allowed to exist."

"I never answered him." 

Bucky snorted and rolled with his eyes.

"You talk hateful about the people that feel the same pain as you." the corners of his mouth wandered up into a short, cheeky grin. He was so

reproachful. "You see me as the monster despite the fact that it was you who did this to me. It was you who used the Winter Soldier to take loved ones from other's. It has never really been me."

For the second time Zemo did not know how to answer, so he avoided the other man's gaze. His throat tightened as he tried to find some words. Bucky had a point.

"I can never imagine what pain I caused you with the Winter Soldier program." Zemo mumbled and he meant it. "I am truly sorry."

The sokovian did not even give Bucky the chance to say something as he swiftly disappeared out of the room through the hallway to his own.

Avoiding Bucky was barely possible since Zemo was a prisoner and under both men's watch, still the baron fought with the idea to get too close with them. There was no need for friends, there never was and there would never be. Zemo was bitter. He was a petty person and he could not stand to have Bucky's words being left in the moment. On the other hand, Zemo still had no other answer to him than an apology. The sokovian was not mad that the only response he could think of was an apology, but that he truly meant it. 

In all this mess, Sam kept observing the sokovian all the time and when he simply could not answer to himself, why Zemo showed Bucky the cold shoulder after being saved by him, he got curious. It did not take him long to develop the behaviour of squinting his eyes whenever they followed the baron. It did not leave him unnoticed that Zemo kept a sudden distance to Bucky but still seemed to be obsessed with him with every second passing by. In the evening, when Bucky changed his clothes and grabbed his keys before leaving the house without a word, Sam saw Zemo starring again, until the soldat was gone. He was almost drooling.

"You act strange." Sam said and furrowed his brows. Then he added,"Stranger than Zemo-strange." 

"What do you know?" Zemo rolled his eyes and attempted to walk around the falcon to quickly escape from this weird situation into his room, but got stopped by Sam, as he pressed his hands against the baron's chest. Somewhat they both, Sam and Bucky, had a big problem doing that. Both men exchanged a warning glare, threatening, waiting for the other one to break the gaze. 

"Don't test me." the sokovian snarled and pushed Sam's hand away. He did not stop him when Zemo returned to his room and locked the door from the inside, but the baron knew this wasn't over, instead only woke more curiosity in the avenger. Too bad that Zemo did not intend to share his emotions like a little girl at a slumber party. He could not even stay honest to himself and drank instead of thinking about what could be wrong with him- because deep down he already knew.

Zemo knew what he felt when Bucky's picture popped up inside his head and all he wanted to do was jack himself off. The only solution to get these images out of his head was to keep drinking until his mind was fully blank or he started to like these thoughts. Eventually he got hungry, but was far too faded to dare go into the kitchen, or even greet a delivery service, so he searched his pockets for some candy- Turkish delight and a lolly. Zemo's throat tightened and he hesitated, but sooner or later he reached for the lolly, unwrapped the plastic foil and gave himself a moment to stare at the pink candyware before he stopped denying the urge of letting it slowly slide inside his mouth. With slow movements he twirled his tongue around the pink sugar ball, quickly realising it was not enough, that it was not the thing he wanted to feel in his mouth. After a while the sokovian's eyes widened when he realised what he was doing and pulled the lolly out of his mouth to give it a disgusted look, then turned around to throw it furiously away. When the hard candy crashed against the window, it broke the glass and when Zemo saw the split, he felt something break inside him too.

He could not do it any longer. No second passed in which Zemo kept acting as if he were despising Bucky. The truth was, that the sokovian desperately longed for the other man, craved his touch beyond anything sexual. He wanted to feel Bucky's warmth around him and to smell his scents. Zemo wanted to kiss those pink lips so desperately, that deep inside it was almost painful to watch himself squeal under his own tormentment. And for fuck's sake he wanted to call him Bucky. 

B-U-C-K-Y.

The sexiest alphabet combination Zemo could think of now. There was no logic explanation for his behaviour, to keep those walls up, because at the end of the tunnel everything was dark and there was nothing else to grasp and hold onto. Could he have developed an unhealthy obsession? It didn't matter. Everything that mattered was that when the soldat was close, Zemo could feel his tummy turn inside out, spreading a ticklish feeling from the pit of his stomach to the tips of his fingers. There was an electrical feeling joining him, whenever Zemo got touched anything, everything seemed so surreal, and he feared that one of the men would see him trembling. Of course he would blame it on the cold, nevertheless Zemo doubted himself to be a good liar in that state.

This had to end. It had to end now. The sokovian needed to find the perfect moment to speak with Bucky again, but with Sam by his side it was almost impossible. Maybe Zemo was like a little girl at a slumber party when he could not even manage to talk to the soldat unless he was all alone with him. He tried his best not to stare at Bucky while he discussed with Sam how to find John and Cap's shield, especially after realising that he had to be careful of the falcon's eyes.

"What do you have to say, Zemo?" Sam suddenly asked, caughting the sokovian for not listening at all. Zemo cleared his face and raised his eyebrows, focusing the annoyed man who had formed his eyes into slits by now. 

"Pardon me?"

"Seriously man, are you fucking alright?" Sam groaned and rolled his eyes. His hands flew into the air as he turned with a swift move to reach for his wallet. Zemo dared to take a glimpse at Bucky and felt his cheeks heat up when he realised the soldat was already staring at him with a deadpan face. The short frequency of a moment in which his eyes were locked with Bucky's felt like an eternity. He even let out a relieved gasp when the other man broke the gaze to pay attention to Sam who gave his arm a short clap before leaving.

"Where are you going man?" 

And with that, Zemo was all forgotten, turned their back on and left alone in the hotel room as Bucky followed Sam outside. He felt a mix of relief along with a stabbing pain in his heart. He wanted to scream, hey look at me, I am here! Don't go and leave me all by myself. No, he did not want Bucky to go. Don't leave me all by myself again…

Bucky was gone, everything that left was the sokovian in an empty room, trying to handle the loud noises in his head during that unbearable silence. It took him a while to move from his frozen state, turning around to clarify if he was really alone now or if he just dozed off again into his daydreams and meanwhile the men have returned. 

Before Zemo would lock himself up inside his room again, he decided to prepare himself something to eat. That Lolly-thing could not happen again and the touching-himself thing needed to stop too. But how could it stop when Zemo already felt aroused of going back to bed so he could peacefully dream of Bucky? concentrate on the potatoes, fry the chicken, maybe ask Bucky if he wants- 

Nope. Not happening. 

The baron was actually quite glad that none of them returned until Zemo was finished with cooking and returned to his room. He actually was not even sure if they even came back and during the moment of peace, he couldn't care less. He ate and drank and rested on his bed, enjoying that his mind was blank for a brief moment this day.

A knock on the door woke Zemo late in the evening. He opened his eyes and for a moment he believed he had gone blind, then realised that his short afternoon nap seemed to have been longer than he thought it would be. The sokovian's legs still hung over the edge of the bed and he was fully clothed, so there was no need for the other person to wait long for the baron. Just as Zemo opened the door, he saw Bucky already turning around and walking away. 

"Just wanted to inform you that Sam is going back to his sister for a few days." Bucky mumbled barely loud enough for the baron to understand. Now he did not give the sokovian a moment to answer. 

I know what you're playing, Zemo thought. But is this just a game for you then?

The morning dew glistened on the broken window and the light of the sun shone through the small crack, spreading itself like it was a prisma. Zemo touched himself again and promised, how it would be the last time thinking of Bucky doing this. Dreaming that he was touching the other man, made no difference. Zemo should probably stop doing it but simply could not. He loved it too much. On the other end he would rarely reach his climax- and if he would he did not feel pleased by it at all. He was a mess, the cum on his stomach, over his freshly healed wounds reminded him of not long ago, when Bucky saved him and he feeled deeply ashamed.

A knock followed by,"Zemo?" made the man flinch. His cheeks turned into a deep scarlet and he moved fast to get clean, then he swiftly pulled his hand out of his boxers and closed the bathrobe he was wearing. For a glimpse second the sokovian felt caught in the act, even though the door was closed. Maybe because he did not expect the soldat to come to him again.

"I am not dressed." The baron replied dully. 

A small pause. 

"You can't keep it all inside, you know?" Bucky's voice echoed from the other side of the door. "Bottling it up won't do you any good."

Zemo's eyes glistened in curiosity and he raised one eyebrow, then brought one hand to his lips and thought about the meaning of those words. It was obvious that Bucky did not talk about the masturbating behaviours Zemo had developed recently, otherwise it would mean the soldat could read his mind and this would also incline he ignored his suffering all the time. It would only make the baron angry. 

"What do you mean?" Zemo decided to ask instead of overthinking about the countless possibilities of interpretations. 

"Sorry doesn't fix everything. You have to show that you mean it." 

S-showing how to mean it?

What could he do to make it up to Bucky? To show him that he was truly sorry and not just looked for a way timo manipulate him again? He would burn the world down for this man and this might be the reason why the soldat could never see Zemo in a good way- he was arrogant to think he could sacrifice everyone for one person he cared about. It made him realise that he was no better than someone with super powers, if his own thinking led him to the same selfish choices that he judged the avengers for.

"At least we go through this together." Zemo answered in poignancy. "It's almost like back then, when it was just us."

"There were no us, there never was." Bucky replied untroubled and this time Zemo wished he left him alone.