#immediately gets fucked by a 7ft staff dealing 1/4 of their health

[aliveahahafuck]

So, random funny things that happened at larp this weekend:

I was NPCing as a crab, and at one point, one of the owners, who was also a crab, got this absolute Cheshire grin and ran OOG towards a light post that has been designated as the portal between cities/places within the different larp guilds (ie between all other games put on by guilds within the Underword universe). As more of us saw that and realised what he was doing as soon as we went down, we joined him. And as Crabs were still joining the group, he just started chanting, "COMING THROUGH THE SKEIN GATE: ONE", a few people join him chanting, "COMING THROUGH THE SKEIN GATE: TWO", and finally there's eight of us yelling the chant and at 3, we all shuffle out of the portal and all I hear from a player is "WHO THE FUCK PAID THE FEE FOR 8 CRABS TO GO THROUGH THE SKEIN GATE!?!?!?! THAT'S SO MUCH GOLD?!?!" (Someone who no longer has a crab problem, obviously. Lmao)

I fell asleep at a picnic table because A: the sun was warm, B: it was peaceful listening to the people chat beside me, and C: it was like 11 am and I'd only been up for two hours but had been exhausted the whole time. Except I wasn't completely sleeping, I was in the half awake state you get where you can hear ahit going on around you, but actually processing basically nothing. Because of that, I heard one of the people who I'd been chatting with say, "Should we wake her? There's demons coming." Only to hear what felt like seconds later:

"Hello there, what have we here?"

"It's a nature's hold. Wild animals can't see us."

"I see. And your friend?"

"Ehhhhh, she might be dead, might be sleeping, we're not too sure."

"Okay then, I'll leave you too whateverthis is." (Footsteps as they walk away)

"I can't believe that worked."

"Me neither."

They did end up waking me up and I chatted with them a bit before I fell asleep again for what felt to me like max 30 seconds, but according to my friend was more like 5-7 minutes and was woken up by a familiar voice saying: "Here. This is for you."

And I raise my head and see a hand placing an orange directly in front of me, I look up to the owner of the hand, and it's my best friends uncle, one of the owners of the guild, dressed as a demon with about 4 others and I just kinda blue screen and just say "thank you???" And they all walk off.

Once they're back in plot camp (a cabin a couple meters away but far enough to be out of earshot), I turned to the people beside me and just go: "he gave me an orange? What the fuck do I do with it? I'm not eating the demon orange?"

The consensus was do not trust the suspicious fruit.

(I found out later that he stole it from the player who runs an alchemy shop and also sells snacks; "he took it as he walked by and at first I was mad, but then I realised that demon just took the cheapest item in my shop; I'm going to take that as a compliment.")

Also, the demons just wanted coffee.

I also found out that while I was sleeping, the bottom of my WOOL cloak had fallen off my lap. I was sitting at a picnic table that had an ever growing puddle around it as the day went on. The fucker wasn't dry by the time I got home a day and a half later.

Lil while later, and I, once again, was fucking exhausted. I ended up going into the tavern and just laid down across one of the pew style benches that lined the walls (10/10 wouldn't recommend. Sitting up at the picnic table was better) and took off my belt, which had a few leather bags attached, to use as a pillow. Partly because I wasn't dumb enough to leave them as easy access and lose my shit, partly because the bench was so thin that I wouldn't have been able to comfortably lay down with the one on my back.

The tavern was FUCKING LOUD. Like, holy shit how did I sleep for 1.5 hours with that racket going on, loud.

I don't remember like 95% of what went on, but the things I do remember are someone saying "shit. There's bears outside." Followed quickly by "HOLY SHIT THE BEARS HAVE MAGIC"

And when, I'm assuming, the battle was over, the shopkeeper player yelling out a window, "I'm selling (healing potions), and they're really cheap~~"

Some time later, about an hour into this nap, I'd sat up, stared into the middle distance for a bit, then walked across the tavern to where I'd left my cloak and over vest above a heater to dry, put on the vest, took my cloak threw it down onto of my "pillow" and immediately went back to sleep for another 30 min.

Sunday, I was chatting with a friend when a npc gnome came over and challenged him to an arm wrestling contest. I was also friends with the person playing the npc. The guy I was originally talking to activated a magic item that made him stronger mid competition, to which the gnome activated a "gnomish device" anti magic field and won the contest. At which point he stopped and looked at me:

"You didn't have any magical items on you, right? Or potions?"

"Uhhhh, yeah. I had a potion of purify in my bag."

"Shit. Well, now you don't. It's just water."

He looked so upset that he'd fucked over my potion and he gave me blacksmithing materials as compensation.

It literally took all of 5 minutes for me to get a new potion, for free, because I knew who'd made them, and he knew I play a healer lmao

vlater i volunteered to go grab someone's staff from our cabin. As I'm walking across the central field, all I hear is: "LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU! CRABS!"

I turned to see the person who was playing the gnome, now a crab, just hauling ass b-lining towards me across the field. As previously stated, I'm a healer, a squishy as fuck, lvl 4 healer. I quickly turned and bolted, unlocked the cabin, flung the door open, slammed it shut behind me, and grabbed the staff I was sent to get in the first place. Seconds later the crab opened the door and saw me, this 5foot fuck all human holding this 7foot long staff grinning like a Cheshire cat: "activate magic item: sigil of the weapons master. 7 MAGIC! 7 MAGIC!-"

I like to call that staff "overkill: the weapon" lmao

The owner of it: "it costs 3 gold to borrow it. Unless you're so tiny that it looks ridiculous, then it's free."

I fell into the "Hilariously tiny" group, but also the "we're playing the same rareish race, and we stick together" group lol

After a huge battle where like 9 people died:

"I'm so not getting that staff back. There's no way it survived."

"That's unfortunate, I liked killing crabs with it."

"Yeah, that's always fun, even if its so overkill for them."

(5 minutes later I come running into the tavern again)

"MORE PEOPLE SURVIVED, THEYRE HEADING BACK NOW! (People start excitedly leaving) also, your staff survived."

"IT WHAT"

"It's coming back! I saw Wolfgreir (who had it before the battle) without it and was happy that at least he survived, and then I saw it being carried through the bush, Jaylin (main healer) has it!"

"No way. I was sure it was gone!"

"I can't believe it either."